Episode 1000641631843

0:05 Love Line is meant for ndult audience.

0:12 Voiceover Sexually oriented content.

0:17 Voiceover Discretion is advised.

0:28 Adam Phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1, Dr. Drew, Board Certified Physician, Addiction Medicine Specialist, and still can't sell a book. Jenna Jameson, who can't sell books, dropped out of high school as number 2 on the New York Times Best Seller List. Well, that's where, actually, that was on Amazon. She's number 9 on the New York Times Best Seller List. Name of the book, How to Make Love Like a Porn Star, Cautionary Tale. Jenna, always good to see you.

1:00 Nice to see you guys.

1:02 Adam Jenna and I go way back. We have a special relationship. Drew has a special relationship with Jenna as well. We all have our special relationship with Jenna. But Jenna, I feel in some way responsible for putting her on. I'm not saying I'm solely responsible for Jenna's success. I more had a hand on it, as I recall. But yeah, I don't want all the credit. I just want like 65 to 75 percent of the credit, is what I'm saying. Because she came back. It was.

1:36 Drew You know what I mean? People that have huge success tend not to come back and visit.

1:39 Adam Well, because she owes me. Because when I must have been, I'd been in radio about six to eight months. Jenna Jameson was just getting into the business. If I'm right, it must have been about almost 10 years ago.

1:53 Yeah.

1:54 Adam And she was this sort of hot up and coming, but not really, you know, who knew who she was 10 years ago. And someone said, you want to put her on Kevin and Bean, the morning show out here at the flagship KROQ. And we decided, well, it'd be good to have her on if Mr. Bircham, my alter ego, would do something with her. So that's when I fired up the pad sander and I put the velvet on it.

2:18 I remember.

2:18 Adam You remember that?

2:19 I remember.

2:20 Adam Yeah.

2:20 Vividly.

2:21 Adam There were more innocent times, Drew. There really were.

2:25 If you call that innocent.

2:27 Adam I was just a kid in his 30s. I didn't know any better. So Jenna and then, of course, Jenna Mania started shortly thereafter. And Jenna also came in here about, well, we found out five years ago, which we couldn't believe.

2:45 Drew I was even talking to some of the splosers out there and they were saying three years ago.

2:48 Adam Yeah. Well, people. For those who don't know what the sploser is, it's part spaz, all loser. These are the guys who hang out in the park parking lot and anybody comes in with a rack on them, signs there and whatever, and then it goes right on the Internet. And they're always like, oh, this is for me. But if it was for you, first off, you live at home. You live at your mom's house.

3:08 Drew She also knows them by name.

3:10 Adam I know.

3:12 Yeah.

3:12 Adam Your mom would not tolerate a mountain size stack of porn in her house. And who are you kidding? You're living at home. This stuff's going right on the Internet. And by the way, this ain't that you're not an entrepreneur. Don't call yourself an entrepreneur. Here's my thing. You got to make at least 110 grand a year to call yourself an entrepreneur. Other than that, you're out of work and you got a plan. That's what we should call it. But anyway.

3:35 Caller I agree.

3:35 Adam Jenna, speaking of entrepreneurial spirit, Jenna has managed to parlay her sexual exploits into quite a fine career. Is that your own street smarts or did you get hooked up with the right people early or both?

3:53 Caller Well, I think it's both. From the time I got into the industry, I said that I was going to be the number one girl. I didn't know whether or not that was going to happen, but I put my nose to the grindstone, so to speak.

4:09 Drew But is there somebody that got behind you and beat her north?

4:16 Caller That's evil. All right. Well, Wicked Pictures, I worked with them for a very long time, and you know, Joy King was amazing. They pushed me really hard, and with my hard work and their wherewithal, we made it.

4:31 Adam It was probably a good time to break into porn, because in the past, it was just sort of this mill that ground people up and spat them back out onto the street, and nobody had contracts, nobody had a say. The chicks probably get $175, $500 bucks a pop, and then the next one would come along.

4:50 Drew This was the time when they could make a star.

4:51 Adam Yeah, I think Jenna got herself involved and got in, you know, wet her beaks, so to speak. With each product sold, she got a little taste. Everything has a sexual connotation to it. The beak wetting, the tasting, the nose to the grindstone, it's all sex. So, so Jenna, and then you split from Wicked, right? How long ago was that?

5:15 Caller That was probably about four years ago.

5:18 Adam And you began your own? Well, you always had your own sort of internet thing going and that sort of thing, right?

5:24 Caller Once I split from Wicked, that was partially one of the reasons because I thought it was important to be really involved in my website and I wasn't really allowed that luxury luxury luxury over at Wicked. So I decided to start my website myself and parlayed it into something really big and then ended up starting my production company and it worked out really well.

5:49 Adam What by the way, you know, if you could get Drew to do a movie, what would that be worth? Do you know what I mean?

5:56 Drew Like me and a porno?

5:57 Adam Yeah. I mean, if you were if you were to say how to if you were to say, well, let's just say Dr. Drew, you thought you knew Dr. Drew. You know what I mean? The man behind the stethoscope, a passionate man. And you just you just go, look, we got that. We gave Drew five hundred grand. He talked it over with his wife and he did a movie. Would you make your money back? Like what do you what do you think?

6:20 Absolutely.

6:21 Caller I'd make my money back. Yeah.

6:23 Adam You think you would?

6:23 Caller The offer stands.

6:25 Adam Talk to your wife. And speaking of Drew's wife, by the way, show me the money. Let me explain what what happened last time Jenna was on the show, because Drew, I think it's important. It's important that we broach this subject and it can be painful. But Jenna has, you know, opened herself up in her book, in her book, which is quite substantial. I mean, 600 pages. Drew looked at it. Drew gave it his seal of approval.

6:56 Drew Absolutely.

6:57 Adam Last time Jenna was on the show, first off, Drew has a type and Jenna, Jenna's it. Yeah.

7:04 Drew Oh, yeah.

7:05 Adam Yeah. I mean, Jenna's everyone's type. But then you have your type within your type.

7:09 Everyone.

7:10 Adam Well, no, everyone, everyone loves a beautiful woman. But within the beautiful women, some guys like the Auburn haired ones, some guys like the long gangly ones, you know, even though even though everyone's attractive. This is right up right in Drew's wheelhouse, Jenna is and and Jenna and Drew, being a man of passion, but also a man of medicine, spoke to Jenna and Jenna was going through some difficulties in her life. Last time she was on the show about the book, she was opening up and confiding in Dr. Drew. Drew opened up his fly to her. No, Drew opened up to her. Drew did what he would do with any any person. He's a passionate yet compassionate man. And Jenna, I think I think you were touched.

7:54 Caller He totally touched.

7:57 Adam Where did he touch you?

7:58 Caller Come on now.

7:59 Adam No, he was. Jenna was touched that Drew, well, he didn't judge. He didn't.

8:04 Caller He was so sweet to me.

8:05 Adam He focused on his Hippocratic oath and he extended his hand to Jenna, who was down at the time. And Jenna, I think, repaid him and felt felt like she owed him a debt of gratitude and sent him some flowers. And then, Drew, did your wife find the flowers or did you just have to give them to me and then I had to give them to my girlfriend?

8:27 Drew It was the latter.

8:28 Adam Oh, yeah. Drew could not bring the flowers home. I said, are you kidding me? And then Drew's wife still found out about it and still got mad. Is that true, Drew?

8:37 Drew She's fine now.

8:38 Adam She's fine.

8:39 Caller Five years later, she's Well, I didn't do it because I was trying to hit on you. I was doing it because I was thanking you.

8:46 Drew Thank you.

8:46 Caller Yeah.

8:46 Drew I thank you for saying that. Everything's fine.

8:49 Adam We know what the intentions of the flowers were. And my thing with Drew is, you got to yank the chain a little on the old lady, you know what I'm saying? I think she wants them.

9:00 Drew No, she's fine.

9:00 Adam She's fine now. It took her three and a half years to get over Jenna sending you some flowers.

9:05 Drew No, she's fine. She didn't come in tonight. She's here. She understands.

9:09 Adam All right.

9:10 Caller Next time, I'll just give you a phone call.

9:12 Adam Oh, no.

9:12 Caller Oh, you're busted now.

9:13 Adam No, no. Send over some ice skates for his daughter. Oh, that she would go for that. All right. So Jenna is going to be where she's going to be tomorrow at the BookSoup BookSoup BookSoup on Sunset Boulevard. That is 8818 Sunset Boulevard in West Hollywood at seven o'clock. So she will be. She will be. Yeah. Yeah. That's one good thing about the life. Yeah. And what about what is a normal day for you like? Not when you're on a book tour. And where's the money? Is it in personal appearances? Is it actually in an owning part of the producing movie? Producing movie.

9:52 Drew Not that your web business doesn't.

9:54 Caller Oh, you know what? It's kind of they're both right up there. The Internet is so lucrative. It's insane. So I never really realized that when I started producing my own movies, how much money these movie studios were making.

10:14 Drew As compared to what they pay the performance.

10:15 Caller Oh my gosh. It's crazy. So.

10:18 Adam And I'm glad that you don't use the Lord's name in vain, by the way.

10:22 Caller I don't.

10:24 Adam We've never heard that from again. That's scary. What is an average movie cost?

10:36 Drew That you sit down and write all eight pages of the script, or to do just all kinds?

10:39 Caller Well, I do all kinds. The larger percentage of the movies that I've been producing so far. I have start in, but I'm starting to kind of step musical I'm not that far away from being in front of the camera. So, you know, to answer your question, they're anywhere from $25, 000 to $250, 000. It depends on what you're trying to achieve. Right.

11:03 Drew If you spend more, do they tend to be distributed more or make more?

11:08 Caller Well, not really. It doesn't really matter. If there's a big star's name on the movie, it doesn't matter if it cost you $10. It's going to sell the same. But I pride myself on making really good product. So I try to put as much money in as possible.

11:26 Adam And where is the average porn movie, adult movie, I should call it, where's the money made when it's sold? It's just actual DVDs going out the doors at the spectrovision deals or pay-per-view stuff or like our Playboy TV. It's all getting... Where's the bulk of the money?

11:46 Caller Most of it is in the sales of the actual movie. The cable sales, yeah, it's a smaller percentage.

11:53 Adam Because it seems to me, Drew, quite down.

11:56 Drew I just think I saw you in Times Square in a huge billboard. Is that a movie?

12:00 Caller I actually own the billboard, so I can put up different pictures for each thing that I want to promote.

12:07 Adam How about a shot of me and Drew? I'm not talking about all year, but just for like six months.

12:13 Drew Six hours.

12:13 Caller For six minutes.

12:14 Drew Between the, yeah.

12:16 Adam Wait a minute. How do you own the billboard? You mean you have it for an allotted period of time?

12:20 Caller Exactly.

12:20 Drew It's a huge billboard on Broadway.

12:22 Adam I know. I've seen it. I actually masturbated to it. It was a light traffic day.

12:27 Drew Did you masturbate to the Panasonics graphics on it?

12:32 Adam Oh, please.

12:33 Caller Scary visual.

12:35 Adam Like I said, it was a Sunday. It was a light traffic day. It was starting to get dark.

12:39 Drew You're bored.

12:39 Adam Yeah. It wasn't like there's a couple of guys in line waiting to see the show.

12:43 Drew One day at Scott Pearson's trial, some guy started self-stimulating in the middle of the courtroom.

12:53 Adam Jenna.

12:54 Caller What is this world coming to?

12:56 Adam Very sad. Man cannot even beat off at a murder trial without the judgment of prying eyes. Is this what you're saying? Because I agree. I think I know where you're heading with this. Where's this world coming to, Drew, when we have to pass judgment?

13:08 Caller You can't masturbate when you want it.

13:09 Adam You can't masturbate in a public building. Please. All right. There should be like a Bible masturbation radius that he was within.

13:18 Drew But it seemed like that was a cinematic release, that the film was being promoted in Times Square. No?

13:26 Caller Yeah. I think the one that you're speaking about was a movie that I did called The masseuse.

13:34 Drew Now, look, I kind of confused it with your book because it looked like it was an advertisement for that, but then it sort of seemed like it was also a film. Is there a film?

13:44 Caller Not yet.

13:45 Adam Is there? Oh, oh, yeah. Oh, well, that's the other thing. Now, I heard you a little bit on Stern talking about it. I mean, it's a tell all. It gets into your life, your past, your upbringing, all that stuff, but also guys you've been with, a-hole celebrities. Oh, thank Christ, I never did anything stupid. Right? Yeah. Well, not that you would have gone for it, but you know what I mean? I mean, some of them are just pathetic. Most of them just sound bad. Like, Adam started crying and begged me for handy. He said it would be cool. And he said no one would find out. Then he cried some more. And then he told me he was a nipple freak and he wanted you to touch his nipples and put lipstick on it. You know, like some of the stuff, it just, it gets a little weird. Do you know what I'm saying?

14:30 Drew Yeah, but if you said that to Jenna.

14:31 Adam Thank God I only worked her over with a pad sander.

14:33 Drew If you said that to her, not me, like you usually do, it would be a little.

14:35 Adam Yeah. Well, listen, I have sensitive nipples. So I'm a nipple man. I like a little nipple stimulation. I don't think that makes me a bad guy.

14:43 Caller No, it doesn't.

14:44 Drew Does it make you want to vomit when he says that?

14:46 Caller No, no, I think it's great.

14:51 Adam Well, I don't know what's funny about it. Just as God made me.

14:55 Caller All right.

14:56 Adam Jenna Jameson in studio tonight. We'll take a question for Jenna again, down at Book Soup there. What's that? Did I say that? Tomorrow.

15:07 Caller 7 p.m.

15:07 Drew Los Angeles for the rest of you.

15:08 That's right.

15:09 Adam Nicole.

15:10 Yeah.

15:10 Adam 23. Yes. What's up?

15:14 I just wanted to ask Jenna what the craziest thing she thinks she's ever done is.

15:18 Caller Oh, man. I've done some crazy things.

15:23 That's what I figured.

15:25 Caller Just out of control. There are a few times in my life where I've looked back and I'm like, I'm surprised I'm still alive.

15:33 Adam Dangerous behavior?

15:34 Caller Of course. I mean, when I lived in Las Vegas, when I was about, I ran the streets. My father wasn't very attentive. Your mom died at a very young age. Yes. Yes. So I was kind of left on my own.

15:47 Drew But that wasn't, that was sort of the core trauma for you, wasn't it?

15:51 Caller I think so. I think so.

15:53 Adam Mom passing away.

15:54 Caller Yeah. Even though I wasn't able to deal with it because it happened when I was so young, it certainly affected who I was.

16:01 Adam How old were you?

16:02 Caller I was two. I was two. So, you know, I grew up, you know, kind of on my own, very independent. And you know, when I was about 15, 16 years old, I used to like run around the streets of Las Vegas, unsupervised and jump into strangers' cars on the Las Vegas strip and just kind of cruise the strip with these strangers with a couple of my girlfriends. And I look back on that and I'm like, I could have been really hurt.

16:33 Adam Well, the thing about Vegas is as soon as you get off the strip, just in the middle of the desert, essentially just a graveyard for mafioso types and strippers that talk too much. Yes, Drew?

16:43 Drew Was your dad a policeman in Las Vegas?

16:45 Caller Yes, he was. And so I remember going to like house parties and, you know, when I was 15, 16 years old and everybody be screaming, oh, the cops are coming, the cops are coming. And I'm like, oh, my God, it's my dad, you know. And I'm like vaulting over the back wall, you know, trying to get away because I knew my dad would be there. So yeah, pretty crazy.

17:09 Adam That's like a one to punch that is the cops and your dad and your dad.

17:14 Drew I don't know. Your dad, your dad's.

17:16 Adam Yeah, I don't know what's worse. It's a compound. I mean, the kids, kids of cops always seem to run just a little bit wild. And you know, we've talked about that before, Drew, and I'm sure it's a whole host of reasons. But one of it is I do believe most cops have a sort of wild streak in them that could have sent them on the other side of the law had they not buckled down and get on the right side of the badge. They're definitely thrill seekers. I mean, you just don't find quite bookworm types who decide they want to, you know, carry a piece and wrestle guys in the back of a squad car. And it's that same energy that can sort of take in another direction. Sometimes their kids have that same energy and don't choose to go the same law enforcement direction.

18:00 Caller That's for sure.

18:01 Adam So was he? Now, when did you get out of Vegas?

18:04 Caller I left Vegas when I was about 18 years old, 18 and Jimmy Kimmel grew up in Vegas.

18:12 Adam You're running the Kimmel over there because he used to say he got all the ladies.

18:15 Caller I haven't.

18:16 Adam I know it's funny because I see pictures of him in high school playing the clarinet with the funny part and the thick glasses. I'm like, really? Oh yeah. Oh yeah. All of them. All the time. Really? Because you're really, you're just all knees and elbows. No, no. All the ladies. So I'm surprised.

18:32 Caller No, I wasn't one of them.

18:33 Adam You dodged a bullet. It should be another notch in Kimmel's nightstand.

18:37 Caller I'm much too young.

18:38 Adam Oh, that's what it is.

18:39 Drew That's true.

18:40 All right.

18:41 Adam So, oh, and speaking of speaking of age, when when do you hang up the diaphragm?

18:48 Caller Wow, that's a good question.

18:49 Adam It's powerful. That's why I get the big box full of hard hitters. Well, I just I just I don't know what you do.

18:56 Caller Do people still use diaphragms?

18:58 Adam I do.

18:59 Drew The nuva ring. You do.

19:00 Adam I use the nuva ring. Jimmy likes it.

19:04 Caller I think that well, nowadays women become, you know, more and more beautiful as they get older.

19:10 Adam So that's right.

19:11 Caller So I don't I don't think that it's a matter of age. I think that it's a matter of how you've grown as a person.

19:17 Adam But isn't OK. But isn't adult film star is sort of like boxer or other sports or things. That's like it. When you start getting older, you lose that energy. Like you just don't want to beat guys up. You just don't want to F in front of a camera. You know, you just you don't want to you don't want to thrill seek. Really?

19:37 Caller No, not yet. And I think it's because I've kept my movies to a minimum. I only do about one or two a year or so.

19:46 Drew I would think, though, a line in the sand that some people might sort of point to as where they want to stop is when they have kids.

19:53 Caller Absolutely.

19:54 Drew That's something in the future for you.

19:55 Caller That's my line in the sand.

19:56 Drew So that's when you're going to stop. That's what she's hanging out.

19:58 Adam That's what my mom said.

20:00 Drew I know. But unfortunately, she didn't stop.

20:02 Adam No, she's still working. She's in her. She's 71.

20:05 Drew Things have been a lot better for you.

20:07 Adam It ain't pretty.

20:07 Drew It's her locking herself in the bathroom and screaming, freak out.

20:10 Adam The bedroom yelling, freak out.

20:12 Drew I beg your pardon.

20:12 Adam Smoking weed. Yes, we all have our crosses to bear, Jenna. Perhaps I should write a book.

20:16 Drew Is that something near future?

20:18 Caller Yeah, I am hoping. I got married last year and I have a wonderful husband. And it's something that I've looked forward to for quite a while. So I'm hoping that soon.

20:30 Adam And if you're only doing a movie or so a year, do you get to handpick your. Your co-stars.

20:38 Caller Well, I only work with my husband.

20:40 Adam Oh, that's it now.

20:41 Caller Yeah.

20:41 Adam Oh, so I've probably seen his penis. Is he over there? Is he behind you now?

20:45 Caller Uh-huh.

20:47 No.

20:48 Adam Oh, OK.

20:49 Caller He's been behind me.

20:50 Adam Yeah. All right. But that's now see, there's one of those things where, you know, you've arrived. You got to be hot to only work with one dude like your boyfriend or, you know, call the shots.

21:00 Caller Yeah, that's true.

21:01 Adam If you're skanky, it's hot.

21:03 Caller You kind of have to set yourself.

21:05 Adam Yeah. Hot help.

21:06 Caller Yeah.

21:07 Adam You got to be you got to have some juice because otherwise it's like, look, I only work with one guy. Oh, yeah. Well, there's a Hungarian soccer team. Now get down there or you don't get your 80 bucks. But with your Jenna, you're like, no, I just work with my husband. And he wears a condom on his head like Howie Mandel. And those are the rules. Take it or leave it. He does.

21:28 Caller That's funny.

21:29 Adam We will take ourselves a little break. Jenna Jameson is here tonight. The name of the book is How to Make Love Like a Porn Star, Cautionary Tale, a substantial piece of literature that Drew can bring home. We will take a quick break. We'll be right back after this. Love Line will be right back. Phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1, Jenna Jameson in the studio tonight. Dear, dear friend, Jenna Jameson.

22:30 Caller Thank you, ow.

22:32 Adam The book is called How to Make Love Like a Porn Star. It is number nine on the New York Times Best Seller List, and it is a substantial piece of work. Almost 600 pages, or maybe 600. I like that, substantial. It is. Substantial is a good word because it suggests that it is a powerful book and you could hurt somebody if you hit them with it.

22:54 Caller It is like a brick.

22:55 Adam Yeah, it is. It is a block of book.

22:58 Drew I have a question. The guy that helped you write this.

23:01 Caller Yeah, Neil Strauss.

23:02 Drew Says he wrote one of the best selling adult films of all time.

23:07 Caller Yes, he did.

23:08 Drew Which one?

23:08 Caller Bella Loves Jenna. True. That is an amazing writer.

23:14 Drew I thought you were going to say Taboo or something, and Adam, we are just going to watch.

23:22 Adam And who knew that Bella Gozzi would make a movie that late in his career. He was in his late 80s when he shot the film.

23:31 Caller He didn't go there. You know.

23:33 Adam No. Bella. I don't know if I have seen Bella Loves Jenna. Bella Donna. Bella Donna Loves Jenna. What year did that come out?

23:40 Caller This year.

23:41 Adam Oh, and it is one of the best selling ones of all time?

23:45 Caller Of all time.

23:47 Adam I didn't know that could. I don't know why.

23:49 Drew That's fast.

23:50 Adam Yeah. I thought these things had to accumulate over the course of, you know, 40 years or something.

23:55 Caller Before.

23:55 Adam Is DVD.

23:56 Caller Times have changed. Everybody buys them now.

23:59 Adam Yeah. So DV. Well, yeah. People used to rent them. And by the way, you know, it's you know how we were look back on a guy sitting in a theater sitting in a pussy cat theater and like imagine one day when I'm going to have to explain to your kids that, yes, hundreds of men would gather in one theater and all watch communally three, four films in a row. They're going to be like, Uncle Adam, I don't understand. Did they have that? No. Oh, no. There was no Internet, my friend. We would have to lock arms. At least that's the way your uncle Adam did it. And we would all sit in a crowded theater and not watch one, you know, 60 minute film. What's like nine? I mean, you'd sit there for about seven hours, lock arms, though, I just swear the way that's the way the Corollas did it and will continue to do it because we're rich with tradition. But OK, so the point is, so then you go from that. So that sounds bizarre now. Like telling you, well, you're sitting with a bunch of dudes. What are you supposed to do? Well, you log it all, you get about nine hours in your brain and then you hustle home and then you beat yourself to a pulp, you know? And it's like, OK, but now we were talking about this when people were renting porn and the idea of renting porn sounds bizarre.

25:16 Drew But hey, kids, you remember that that television star, Peewee Herman, you select when you're a kid. Well, he went to one of these arms. Where that's going to be.

25:25 Adam He was on my right side. And so so now he didn't wait till I went home. They don't really rent movies anymore, do they?

25:32 Caller No, not really.

25:33 Adam Rent movies.

25:33 Caller Everybody buys them.

25:35 Adam Because, I mean, you could you could literally go to a truck stop and get one for six dollars.

25:41 Caller Do you know why I think that is is because I think more and more women are comfortable seeing porn.

25:48 Adam Oh, we don't have to hide it.

25:49 Yeah.

25:49 Caller So guys don't have to hide it any longer.

25:52 Adam And who the hell wants that? You know, if you think about all right, the movie costs three, four bucks to rent, but get in your car, trucking it down to the thing, getting the humiliation running, running a Sony went to high school with, I ran a movie called porn bloopers once because it's like, well, I like to beat off and I got a sense of humor. This is like, this is tailor made for me. You know what I mean? These were my two things, right? These are my two things.

26:17 Drew Adam Carolla story. And porn bloopers.

26:19 Adam I rented porn bloopers, which was a disaster. And I was returning it, except I realized, oh, I have no cash. I had to go out the car and fish through the change, you know, the ashtray thing and get like four bucks worth of quarters and nickels. And then the person behind the counter, someone I went to high school with, a chick. This guy's returning Bobby Hollander's porn bloopers, and he's paying in nickels.

26:44 Caller Oh, that's pretty bad. Yeah, that's pretty bad.

26:48 Adam Captain of the football team. Last time I saw you. What happened? Sad. Normally, she would be embarrassed because she's working at a video store, but no, not when, not when the guy returns porn bloopers. Yeah, you got any blooper reels, Jenna?

27:05 Caller Well, that's the cool thing about DVDs nowadays. Oh, yeah. You get all the extras. So there's always a bloopers reel.

27:11 Adam Yeah, I know, because I got, I got Jenna's movie. What's the Firehouse movie?

27:17 Caller Flashpoint Flashpoint.

27:18 Adam Yeah.

27:19 Caller I can't believe I can remember these things.

27:21 Adam Yeah, that's pretty good. Yeah, it's got the behind the scenes, got the director narrates, a little picture of the craft service table. It's all there. It's all there. And let me say this too about porn on the DVD format. You know where you're going. You know what I mean? Otherwise, you're fast forwarding. You can either scan through it, but it goes too slow, so you stop it and you go forward. But then you think you missed something, so you stop and go back.

27:49 Caller Well, the cool thing about my movies now, I put a fetish menu so you can pick out what you like the very best about porn and it jumps to those exact scenes.

28:04 Adam Really? You mean in the DVD?

28:06 Caller So you're nipple licking?

28:08 Adam Yeah. But that's my own nipple, so.

28:11 Caller Well, you can fantasize.

28:12 Drew She's working on that. She's working on that.

28:14 Adam Yeah.

28:15 Caller Sooner or later, I'll be able to do that.

28:16 Adam I'll be confused with me giving pleasure to others.

28:18 Drew Porn 4D.

28:18 Adam That's not what it's about. Drew, explain to Jenna that nobody receives oral like me.

28:24 Drew Oh, would you like to see this? It's really, you may be giving up some secrets that could show up in a film.

28:29 Caller Exactly.

28:30 Adam Well, what I want to say to Jenna is a lot of people talk about their prowess satisfying others. A lot of guys brag that they can bring a woman to climax or give her great oral sex or whatever.

28:40 Drew But Carolla.

28:41 Adam Not me. Not me. Not me, but I'll tell you what I do do better than any guy in North America is I receive oral better. Do you know what I'm saying? And to me.

28:51 Caller That's a talent.

28:53 Drew I'll tell you why.

28:54 Adam I'll tell you why.

28:55 Drew Adam, don't you go too far. Don't you better let it go.

28:57 Adam Well, no, I want to get defensive about it. What I'm saying is. I will. I will. Yeah.

29:02 Caller I want to see.

29:03 Are you sure?

29:05 Drew Later. All right. All right.

29:06 Adam But the point is, is a lot of guys, it's like you watch the Olympic sports. Everyone wants to win in the swimming and the track and field things. But the smart guys over collecting his medals and archery and ping pong and stuff. He goes where there's not much competition. You don't have to take on any any brother that can squat 800 pounds. Just a couple of nerds and you take home the gold and you got a gold medal. That's what I did with receiving oral. That's nice. I'm not even getting the line of the guys who claim they can go all night and bring a woman to the height of climax. I receive better than anybody. And there's nobody who can take my who can make lay claim to my throne truth. Do you understand?

29:45 Drew I'm here to tell you.

29:48 Adam I'm going to give you just a little sample of what I what I'm like.

29:51 Caller Okay, bring it on.

29:56 Adam Yeah. Keep going. And that's it. No, no, no beating about the had, with the knuckles. No resting beer on the crown of the head. Yeah. Again, I'll give you one more shot. Relax over the years. I learned, for instance, put down the TV remote. That's something I learned justa week's ago. I mean, the point is, is aren't always you're bragging.

30:29 Drew They're you're bragging. Come on.

30:30 All right, all right.

30:31 Caller I'm getting intimidated.

30:32 Adam I'm saying, take the pants all the way off. These are other, oh, if you're gonna take, you can't take the pants off unless you take the shoes off. These are all things, all ways. I've honed my technique. Do you see what I'm saying? No matter how good you are, you can improve. That's what I'm saying.

30:50 Caller I agree completely.

30:52 Adam And what you saw there, you thought was the pinnacle of receiving oral, but I'm still looking to move forward like any champion. You know what I mean? I don't look at my rear view. I don't look at my oral rear. I look through my oral windshield. You know what?

31:09 Drew There we go.

31:09 Adam You know what I'm saying? Yeah, well, there's... I would like to work with kids, handicapped kids who don't... The confidence that comes from receiving proper oral. You know what I mean? Properly receiving oral, I should say.

31:25 Drew Here we go.

31:25 Adam Get in and start talking. And you gotta get them early too. You approach a guy, 18, 19 years old, try to teach, uh-uh, no, it's like gymnastics. You get them at five, six, seven years old, really start working on the fundamentals. You don't do oral on them at that point. But again, start working on the posture, start to develop those muscles. It's just right.

31:45 Drew Yeah.

31:47 Adam Jennifer? You're 28? What's happening?

31:54 Caller My question is, I am 28 and I've never had an orgasm. And I just want to know how abnormal that is, I guess.

32:05 Adam What do you think, Jenna?

32:06 Caller Well, I don't think it's abnormal. I think that a lot of women, they aren't able to relax enough. They worry too much about other things that are happening, like whether or not they look fat, whether or not their man is truly in love with them, or there are a lot of different things that go through women's minds, and it's hard to relax enough to be able to get to that point where you orgasm. I've been through it, believe it or not, and it's all a matter of feeling comfortable and letting go.

32:42 Adam And women get up in their own head a little too much and get their own way, beside whatever biological wiring that is different in some women from woman to woman. But I do agree with Jenna that even the ones where the potential is there for an orgasm, they get up in their head sometimes.

32:59 Drew Does the letting go have, is it a frightening experience to some women you think?

33:02 Caller Yeah, it's a trust thing.

33:06 Drew Yeah, but what about now that's interpersonal, that's with another person, what about if she's by herself?

33:11 Caller Well, that's how it should begin. You should make sure that you practice, that always helps.

33:17 Drew We have a lot of women that call here, it's can't quite get in that place where those things happen to them.

33:22 Caller Well, it's put into our heads that masturbation is so wrong.

33:26 Drew I'm not sure that.

33:27 Caller It really is.

33:28 Drew Because you can't force a guy to stop, no matter how much you try to tell him it's bad.

33:32 Adam Well, that's a guy, but girls.

33:33 Caller Well, that's a man. Women are totally different.

33:35 Drew Totally different.

33:36 Caller Totally different.

33:36 Adam What do you think she's talking about then?

33:38 Drew Well, no, but she's saying that the reason they're different, I want to be clarified, it's not they're different because they were told not to do it or something's wrong with them.

33:45 Caller No, we believe that. I mean, from the time I was young, I certainly like worried about whether what I was doing was right, you know, but you know, I got past that. But I certainly did. But yeah, it's kind of a hard thing, you know, I know that once I've gotten, I got to the point where I trusted a man enough to be able to like, not worry about whether my face looks stupid when I was orgasming, then it was fine.

34:14 Caller And then it came easy to me, masturbation, it's not common to not be able to have one.

34:20 Drew It's very common. It's much more common with masturbation than with a person. And at your age, much more, I have trouble orgasming.

34:28 Adam Oh, really?

34:28 Caller Really?

34:29 Drew Yeah.

34:31 Caller It is common at my age.

34:32 Drew For women, yeah. But at 28, you should be getting around to it. It should be about time that things get the right toy. Yeah.

34:41 Adam You got a vibrator?

34:44 Caller But I was wondering, do I need to try different ones, I guess?

34:47 Caller Absolutely. Shop around.

34:50 Adam Okay.

34:50 All right.

34:52 Adam All right.

34:52 Caller Thank you.

34:54 Adam Yeah. Why? What's the difference between them?

34:58 Caller Well, every girl is different with what they like. Some like very minimal stimulation, some like very heavy stimulation. So there are toys that run the gamut.

35:09 Adam I have Ron Jeremy's penis in my attic, by the way.

35:12 Caller He does.

35:12 Drew He does. Ron brought in a latex version of himself.

35:17 Adam I didn't really bring it in. I told him to go get it.

35:19 Drew It was in the trunk of his car.

35:21 Adam And at first when he said it was in the trunk, I thought, oh, Christ, this is going to get nasty when he pulls this thing out. And then I realized, oh, it's actually on the car. I thought that was just more porn talk. But he went and got it.

35:33 Drew But then when your Guatemalan maid found it, come on, that was traumatic.

35:37 Adam I don't have no she's probably writing a book right now.

35:41 Caller Oh, you you ought to talk to my maid.

35:42 Adam Oh, well, you're made to commit suicide. You got to pay for like therapy for your baby. My maid found this this behemoth of a of a dork that was sitting around my house and probably thought God knows what he does with this thing. I had probably I'm sure had had zero context other than the up the Tokai. There's only one place that that thing could have gone. Yeah, very scary. And my whole thing is, is I should throw it away, but it probably cost sixty five bucks. Like what? I can't throw it away. It's something. Do you guys get into that?

36:18 Caller You don't use it really truthfully.

36:21 Adam I might use it to ward off like someone's trying to break into the house or something. It's a weapon. But no, I don't. Once in a while, I'll dab a little Nivea on it and touch it just a little bit on my nipple.

36:35 Yeah.

36:35 Adam Just a little bit. Just a little bit. Come on, Kro. I have sensitive nipples. But that's that's on rare. I mean, that's like three nights a week when you're feeling real freaky. Yeah, I got to feel and it's poor for me to feel sexy. That's why I wear sexy underpants. And it's not for it's not for my lady. You know, I do for me. So you know what I'm saying? I like to feel good. I don't care what other people think. I need to feel sexy.

36:59 We'll be right back.

37:01 Adam We'll take ourselves a little break, the Jenna Jameson in tonight. Name of the book, How to Make Love Like a Porn Star. It is out as we speak.

37:09 Caller We'll take a quick break.

37:10 Adam Be right back. Loveline. Phone number 1-800-L-E-E-191. The Black Eyed Peas in here tomorrow night. Jenna Jameson in here tonight. Always good to see Jenna. And we have, she's a, we're kindred spirits because we met. I think neither one of us was officially in show business.

37:49 Caller And I like my nipples played with, too.

37:50 Adam See that?

37:51 Drew That's proof positive.

37:53 Adam Yep, that's right, separated at birth. Both have sense, we're sensitive people with sensitive nipples. Drew, as a man of passion, although has no feeling in his nipples.

38:05 Drew Strangely enough.

38:07 Adam Well, no. Drew fell asleep on an airplane once and I held a Bic lighter underneath his nipple. He was, thank God he was wearing his nursing bra, I was able to just carefully peel the Velcro patch back, exposing the nipple. And had it not been for the smell of the burnt hair, I don't think you would have woken up, Drew.

38:25 Drew No, of course not.

38:26 Caller A nursing bra.

38:27 Adam I eat when he travels. Old habits die hard.

38:36 Drew We travel together, he convinced me to eat since I wear it, he thought I would be of a similar proclivity to him, and so he wears his, I wear mine.

38:44 Adam It's also the kind of thing where I bought it for him, I think for like Christmas and it's like when your grandmother gets you a sweater and then she's coming over for thank you.

38:54 Drew I gotta just sort of pee as I might do it.

38:58 Adam So we travel and Drew wears the nursing bra.

39:01 Drew You've gotta be more empathic with other people, not everyone experiences things exactly the same way you do.

39:07 Adam I'm just saying, Drew's nipples are not even hooked up.

39:12 Drew Yeah, but still.

39:13 Adam There's nothing attached to them, they're really just coasters that are just stuck on your chest. And really, I mean it.

39:20 Drew Does that make me a lesser person?

39:22 Adam In my book, yeah. How dare you? Jenna, bite his nipple. It improves once and for all to his wife, to everyone else who's listening. So, but yeah, you know why Drew's not a nipple man? Because Drew is a bread and butter man. He's a meat and potato man.

39:38 Caller What's bread and butter and meat and potatoes?

39:40 Adam He goes right for the main course, sexually. He doesn't, he doesn't like, you know, conversation and a nice starter salad and a soup to sure.

39:49 Caller You guys know a lot about each other.

39:51 Adam Drew's passionate.

39:52 Caller Wow.

39:52 Adam That I know. That I know.

39:54 Wow.

39:55 Adam Yeah. Eugene, you don't want to be on the losing end of his passion. You get on the business end of his passion. That's trouble. All right?

40:04 Caller I'll keep that in mind.

40:05 Adam Word of the wise is sufficient.

40:07 Drew Germany or Florida?

40:08 Adam It's time to play Germany or Florida. Here's how it goes. All bizarre stories emanate from either Germany or Florida. I think we've got about 6 in a row.

40:16 Drew I grew up in Florida. You grew up in Florida?

40:19 Caller Yeah, for a few years I lived in Florida.

40:20 Drew Florida has become a bizarre place.

40:22 Caller Very.

40:22 Adam Yeah. And Germany has always quietly and efficiently been bizarre as well. And who, oh, let's round up all the Jews and put them in an oven. Maybe that should have been a little heads up that they don't do things exactly how we do them over there. I don't know why we're, we're all over that. All right, they're back on their feet. So, Anna. Time to play Germany or Florida.

40:45 Caller Yeah, okay. A 60-year-old woman thought her husband was home when she heard a car pull out into her garage. Then a naked stranger walked into the house. He asked for a person she never heard of, then he came after her when she said his friend wasn't there. She picked up a pair of scissors and he fled. He didn't get far. She called the police and he was arrested in her driveway. Police identified the man as 39 years old and they found 33 pornographic videos in his car.

41:14 Caller Hmm.

41:15 All right.

41:16 Drew Well, it could have happened nd either.

41:17 Adam Could have happened. Yeah.

41:18 Drew Easily nd either.

41:19 Adam This isn't completely Germany or Florida specific.

41:23 Drew It's her job to stump us.

41:24 Adam Random crazy always smacks of Florida to me.

41:26 Drew It does.

41:27 Caller No, that's Florida.

41:28 Adam Yeah.

41:33 Drew But driving into a driveway in a garage sort of smacks of Florida, too.

41:37 Caller Exactly.

41:38 Drew Germany does not have carports.

41:43 Adam What do you do? Like a civic engineer in Germany or something?

41:46 Drew What's the German word for garage?

41:47 Adam Leather Rosa? Farfag Nugen? I don't know. That's the only German I own from a Volkswagen commercial in the 80s.

41:54 Caller Anna?

41:59 Adam Florida.

41:59 Caller Yeah.

42:00 Adam All right, baby doll. You get nothing.

42:03 Caller Thanks.

42:04 Adam Thanks. All right.

42:05 Caller Thanks.

42:05 Adam Well, we're really like seven for our last seven on the Germany or Florida.

42:09 Drew Oh, I think we're better than that.

42:10 Adam Oh, really?

42:11 Drew Yeah.

42:11 Adam We may have stumbled a little bit. No?

42:13 Drew I think we're in double digits.

42:14 Adam Overall, we're well into the 90 percentile, yes? All right, let's keep a rocking and speak to John, it was a question for Jenna, John 17. John? John?

42:28 Drew There you go.

42:29 Caller He got scared.

42:31 Adam Let's talk. Oh, really?

42:33 Drew Montana.

42:35 Adam Mac?

42:36 Yeah.

42:37 Adam You're 18? What's your question today?

42:40 Caller Well, hey, I just want to say, I love you, Adam, Drew and Jenna. And I'd do anything to see you, but I had a quick question for you, Drew. Okay, I play football. I'm a senior on the team. And before all the games, the guys like to masturbate. And I say it really helps them get pumped up for the game. I was wondering if that is true. Maybe I could take that up or... Liar! Liar whore!

43:04 Adam Liar whore!

43:04 You know it!

43:05 Drew It's a non-question.

43:07 Adam Yeah. Nobody does that. You don't beat off before the big game.

43:11 Caller Where?

43:12 Adam You mean at home and then they show up to the high school?

43:15 Caller Yeah.

43:16 Adam No.

43:17 Caller No, they do.

43:19 Adam And do you notice the guys who beat off playing any better?

43:22 Caller Well, I don't know because they do it all the time, so I would...

43:26 Drew That's the point. It's not any different than any other day.

43:29 Caller Well, they said that it's something about to get your testosterone going.

43:32 Drew Well, actually, it's an interesting point. Touche.

43:36 Adam Yeah, what about?

43:37 Drew There is a point at which testosterone will climb if a guy is masturbating regularly. If he tisks too much, it applies the corolla technique, your testosterone levels of circulating estrogen, testosterone starts to fall off. So there's sort of an optimal zone if they don't masturbate much, testosterone is not as stimulated to what is that number? I must know what that number is for different people. It's not becoming compulsive about it. That's for sure. It's just, but it's also not trying to restrict it.

44:05 Adam What are you saying? I was thinking about masturbation. All right, Jenna, do Flick Drew's nipple.

44:14 Drew No, no, no, no.

44:18 Adam What do you mean? We didn't treat her like a guest. I treat everyone with the same horrible manner.

44:24 Caller The same request.

44:27 Caller We love about you, Adam.

44:28 Adam Yeah, we're thick as thieves. There's great love between Jenna and I. I just started her career. I'm just trying to cast a shadow on what we have and what we've had for many years.

44:38 Drew I know.

44:39 Adam Ten years.

44:39 Drew I've known this little girl. I know.

44:41 Adam All right. Let's keep moving and speak to Sarah, who's 25.

44:47 Caller Sarah?

44:49 Adam What's happening, baby doll?

44:51 Well, I love you, Dr. Drew and Adam and Jenna. Big fan. You're welcome. I'm having a problem with obsessive sexual thoughts. I have, and it's getting worse, it's just, it's just accelerating. I keep having thoughts of being a submissive. I've had phone sex with strangers.

45:18 Adam You're in a relationship?

45:22 Drew No.

45:23 Am I now? Yeah. Well, no, yes and no, it's strictly sexual.

45:29 Drew Are you, have you been on pain medicine recently?

45:33 No.

45:34 Drew Nothing like that? You're not trying to come off something?

45:36 No.

45:37 Caller Why?

45:38 Drew Because it sounds like it's accelerating, something's accelerating, it's trying to manage something with this and feels a lot of control.

45:43 Adam What about any other substance? You quit anything, cigarettes or booze or anything?

45:48 No, I really don't drink, it makes me tired. I smoke weed every once in a while, but I'm...

45:53 Drew But nothing, nothing, you're not trying to stop something.

45:55 No, I'm not trying to...

45:57 Adam All right, Sarah, hang on, and phone screener Brian, don't hang up on this, Sarah, because we're not done with her. We're trying to get to the... Easy, baby.

46:05 Caller I see what I mean.

46:07 Adam Every time you pick up the phone, it doesn't have to be a sex doc, you know.

46:11 Caller Lately, it does, okay.

46:13 Drew No bipolar history, Sarah?

46:16 Caller I've had... I've been diagnosed for several years with depression, anxiety, and panic.

46:22 Adam Did my nipple talk arouse you? Now we know she's got a problem. Drew, you better get the Medevac unit in the nearby psychiatric unit. We're going to take a quick break, we'll be right back.

46:35 Caller Alright guys, bottom line, here's the deal. Looking to hook up, sick of wasting time with the wrong person, one call is all you need to make. Call the dateline.

46:43 Drew 877-889-DATE.

46:45 Caller 1-800-LOVE-191. This hour brought you apart by acts.

47:23 Adam Everybody, it's Love Line. I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew, Jenna Jameson, in here for one more excruciatingly long break.

47:32 Caller It's not long.

47:33 Adam Segment, yeah, it's not. Goes right by, right?

47:36 Caller It does.

47:37 Adam Yeah. You don't really want Jenna Jameson telling you it's not long. If you break it down. Just if it's out of context, you know what I'm saying?

47:46 Drew Or not long enough.

47:47 Adam Yeah, just reading the transcript, you know? Jenna is here promoting her book, How to Make Love Like a Porn Star. It is not a how to book by any stretch of the imagination. It is a deep soul searching process. Yes, Jenna?

48:02 Caller Yeah, the book's made up of a lot of different things. I mean, it's my crazy life. It's also like my 10 Commandments to Dating. I mean, there's a lot of really funny, great parts to it.

48:13 Adam But what are those?

48:14 Caller Oh, you've got to read them. They're hilarious.

48:17 Adam Go to what page is that under?

48:20 Caller That's a good question. There's 600 pages.

48:23 Adam Drew, find the 10 Commandments of Dating.

48:26 Drew Nicole, you out there still? Nicole here?

48:28 Adam Yeah.

48:29 Drew She was reading them to me the other day.

48:30 Adam You want to say Nicole is?

48:33 Caller I definitely want to know this.

48:34 Drew Nicole's a disc jockey here at KROQ Los Angeles.

48:36 Adam Thank you. All right, Drew, you can spend the-

48:37 Caller Nicole's hot, by the way.

48:38 Adam You can spend, she is, in an Earth mama kind of way. Drew, you want to spend the next half hour looking for that? Drew. What? Drew, he with no feeling in his nipples attacks me, we're sensitive, and a nipple is, you know, they say the eyes are a window to the soul.

48:57 Drew Yeah, nipples.

48:57 Adam Nipples, that is the trailer ball that you tow.

49:05 Drew Stop, think about what you're going to say.

49:06 Adam That you tow your life cargo with. Ah, yes, the trailer ball of life. And mine is shiny and chrome, and yours a seagull craft on.

49:16 Drew Well, there you go.

49:16 Adam You understand?

49:18 Drew I'm not hauling much. That's got much in tow.

49:22 Caller Well, isn't it true that men have a lot more nerve endings in their nipples than women?

49:28 Adam What about it, Drew?

49:29 Drew I don't know if that's true or not.

49:31 Caller I've read that.

49:32 Adam You have? Why don't you read it, though?

49:34 Caller I don't know, Cosmo or something. Is that bad?

49:38 Drew Just Cosmo's like, oh.

49:39 Adam Drew doesn't like that. Sarah?

49:42 Caller Yes.

49:43 Adam OK, so when we were speaking last, you were still 25.

49:49 Caller You were still 25, even though it was a long break.

49:52 Drew Here they are.

49:52 Adam Oh, 10 commands today. I'm going to hold off on that. Let's just finish with Sarah, and then we'll get to it. So Drew was saying you're maybe bipolar. Yes?

50:03 Drew I just feel some momentum building, Sarah. And it feels sort of biological. And that's why I was asking about medicines, and substances, and bipolarity. Are you a trauma survivor?

50:13 Caller Yes.

50:14 Drew What kind of trauma did you have growing up?

50:15 Caller I was sexually molested at, I don't know, five or six. I don't remember what age.

50:23 Drew So all those things can sort of change your wiring a little bit and get you going.

50:28 Adam And then plus you have the times of this sort of hypersexuality and then you go dormant.

50:32 Drew Right. That's when I show up.

50:34 Adam That's like the bat signal.

50:36 Drew No, no, no. You induce the bat.

50:38 Caller Someone's going dormant.

50:39 Adam Oh, I kick them into that.

50:40 Drew Yes, you cook them into dormant.

50:41 Adam Yeah, that's right. I'm the catalyst that forces them into their dormancy.

50:47 Drew So, do you have a relationship right now?

50:49 Caller Just a sexual one.

50:51 Drew But no real relationship.

50:52 Caller No, I sort of quit men for about a year. Because I just stopped trying to date guys and find a relationship because I have always, always chosen the really wrong guy. I married the wrong guy and I dated him. And so, I just thought, you know.

51:16 Drew All right, got the picture, got it.

51:18 Adam You gotta get a little therapy. If you were a sexually abused.

51:21 I've had so much therapy.

51:22 Adam Oh, really? Well, not enough to stop acting out.

51:25 Drew Well, how about a real relationship, Sarah? How about somebody who actually does care about you and you make yourself available for a real relationship?

51:35 Caller I thought that's what I have been doing, but I don't know.

51:41 Drew No, no, here's a trick, here's a trick. You know, the terror of these experiences gets converted into attraction in adulthood. So you get attracted to people that are likely to sort of re-victimize you and re-enact all this stuff for you. So how about going out with guys you're not so attracted to? Guys that you like, but are maybe not so exciting.

52:02 Adam Well, they can't.

52:03 Drew Let's start with them.

52:03 Adam Yeah, you can't be attracted to them on a visceral level. You have to be sort of.

52:08 Drew What are you laughing about? You're thinking about nipples again?

52:10 Adam Yeah. No, you have to be sort of lukewarm on them. I know, I'll tell you why, because it sounds crazy to tell people to stay away from the people they're really attracted to, but it's almost like somebody who has a serious problem with weight. Like if you really want that food, it's probably not the right one for you. You should be eating something that you're sort of, I'm not a huge fan of beets, but I'll eat them. Yeah. Other than that, it's gonna be strudel, and that's what's really gonna make the hair in your neck stand up, and you should stay away from it. And I was gonna say with Sarah that she's done a lot of therapy, but that's sort of the classroom part of life, and then you have to go out and field test this stuff. So you could be in therapy your whole life and never actually try to have any meaningful relationships, and it's not really gonna work. Jenna.

52:54 Caller Well, you know what? I totally relate to you, obviously. I went through the exact same thing, and there's a lot of wisdom in what you guys are saying because I dated the wrong men consistently. It was a cycle of horrible violence and degradation. And finally, I met a man that I hated and totally not my type, did not like anything about him. And then slowly but surely we started dating and I was like, I love this man. 100% with every ounce of who I am. And we've been together for five years and he's changed my life. So I really do believe that what you're saying is true, that you can't consistently go after this guy that pretty much all my boyfriends, they were this same guy.

53:56 Drew Even when you thought they weren't when they started.

54:00 Adam You don't even think about it. The attraction is so strong and you're so weak. It just sucked into its tractor beam. Yes?

54:07 Caller True.

54:07 Drew I'm very curious though about the evolution from really not liking to liking. Is that because of his perseverance or did you have a?

54:14 Caller Well, it wasn't because of his perseverance. You know, I think I came to a point in my life where I started to realize that these guys that I was dating were completely wrong for me. So when I met this guy and he actually had a job and he was a good person, he was well-rounded, he was emotionally stable, boom, I was like, okay, I don't like him, not my kind of guy, but I'm gonna try this and it worked out and I'm totally in love.

54:47 Adam I think this is why women aren't attracted to me, Drew, because I'm so good.

54:50 Drew You are, you're too nice.

54:51 Adam I'm too good on the quality level. They're attracted to the troublemakers.

54:58 Drew Oh yes, you're boring.

55:01 Adam Yeah, they like the bad boys.

55:05 Caller We like the funny ones, come on.

55:08 Drew That's the point. So someway you'll find one.

55:13 Adam Really, is there any attraction at all to the ace man with his wicked sense of humor and his nappy hair? Yeah, yeah, ever since and again, like I said, I broke her in, Drew. She was wet behind the ears before I took my-

55:30 Drew Brought her up, please.

55:31 Adam I took my pad sander with the velvet pad on it and my cordless Makita screw gun and I put a feather duster.

55:38 Drew Did somebody get that on video or tape or something?

55:40 Caller I've got pictures.

55:41 Adam Oh really?

55:42 Caller I do, I still have them.

55:43 Adam Wow, for me it's all up here. And it gets transferred every once in a while.

55:49 Drew I know.

55:49 Adam It takes an elevator down to the basement. Oh yeah. All right. And I'll tell you something, I was talking about it on the air the other night, I don't know why, maybe it's because I saw you coming in. I went to like the House of Fabrics the day before to buy a piece of velvet to put on my pad sander. Yeah, I haven't told Jenna this. And I walked into the House of Fabrics and I was like, what's the smallest quantity of velvet you sell? They're like square yard and I'm like, oh, all right, well, I guess I'll just take that. And they were like, what are you doing with it, buddy? The chick was busting my balls and it was funny. Yeah, it was like, I could be making a teddy bear for my retarded cousin. What do you mean?

56:35 Caller She could tell.

56:36 Adam She could tell. Yeah, when guys go into the fabric store and start wanting to talk about very small quantities of velvet, they're like, all right, buddy, what are you doing? That's some sort of a jacksleeve or what? What's going on with that thing? What are you doing with that thing? You're doing something with that. It's not for the AIDS quilt. I'll tell you that right now. Something weird is going on with this velvet. Probably.

56:58 Caller Jacksleeve.

57:00 Adam Yeah, it's named my band in high school. What do you do? I play bass for jacksleeve. All right, so we're done with Sarah, yes?

57:11 Caller No, no.

57:12 Adam Therapy. Find a guy you're not attracted to and hang on to with both hands.

57:16 Drew We've all told you the same thing. And, you know, therapy, yes, but we've all said, how about a relationship?

57:22 Caller Yeah, and just take it slow, you know? Date and see me like.

57:26 Drew By the way, and if you are bipolar, Sarah, and you're beginning to get manic, get that looked into.

57:32 Adam And feel free to, by the way, control yourself. Like if you say, why do I keep doing this, or I'm spinning out, try to stop yourself.

57:39 Caller It's hard to, that's hard to. You can't just say, okay, go ahead and stop.

57:42 Adam Oh no, it's never gonna work. But what I mean is, is if you're aware that you have a problem, and you're right thinking enough to call us up and talk about it, try to catch yourself next time you start to spin.

57:52 Drew But when Jenna said that, I was thinking about how ridiculous things have become in our culture, where it's the Dr. Phil world, where all you have to do is decide you're gonna stop these things.

57:59 Caller Yeah, you can't, you can't, it's really hard.

58:01 Adam No, I don't think you can't hear, and that would be naive, but what you can do is you can sort of chip away.

58:07 Drew Some people can act as if, you know what I'm saying?

58:11 Adam Yeah, and other, no, but for other people, it's an eight year process. It's like just start chipping away.

58:16 Drew Listen, my patients can't act as if they're not a heroin addict. You can't do that.

58:21 Adam No, I'm not saying act as if you're not a heroin addict.

58:23 Drew No, I'm just saying.

58:24 Adam No, look, you're talking about being, you know, hooked on a drug.

58:26 Drew I know, but act as if you're somebody who's available for a relationship, for instance, Sarah's case.

58:32 Adam Well, I'm just saying whatever your behavior, and this excludes things you get chemically addicted to, but whatever your behavior is, see if you can hover above yourself and at least see yourself doing it and see if you can reel it in.

58:45 Caller The problem is when you start thinking about it like that, then it's hard to stop. What do you mean? It's kind of like when you try to quit smoking.

58:54 Drew Yeah, or stop eating or something.

58:55 Caller Yeah.

58:56 Caller Then you start thinking about it, and then it's in your mind. You're like, oh my God, I want to make that phone call. I want to hear this. I want to feel this. You know, and it never works.

59:05 Adam Right.

59:06 Caller I think that it's important to like better yourself outside of that. Like, you know, do other things, find other happiness other than sexually and in a relationship. There are many other things.

59:17 Adam That's right. None come to mind besides eating, smoking, and screwing right now. But there's got to be other things out there. Building ships in a bottle.

59:27 Drew Nipple play.

59:27 Adam Did I mention the ships? Nipple play. I think that starts getting into the sexual thing though, Drew. All right.

59:33 Caller It depends on how you look at it.

59:34 Drew Yeah, in the airplane the other day, you said it wasn't.

59:36 Adam Well, like I said, you're wearing the nursing bra. And I, you know, what he'll do is he'll loosen his corset if we're going on an international flight, you know, because it's hard, it's hard, I know it cuts into your ribs.

59:51 Drew You told me, you promised you wouldn't bring that up.

59:53 Adam I never said I wouldn't bring up the corset. I said I wasn't going to bring up the jock full of nuts. The gag that where I have you wear the one with the zipper and the peanuts in it. That's funny.

1:00:07 Drew No, that'd go too far.

1:00:10 Adam Well, that I said I wouldn't bring up. Boy, is that funny. I remember I got the jock full of nuts gag gift when I was like 19, I was like, oh, are you idiots? This costs someone 28 bucks. By the way, I could use like a frozen dinner.

1:00:25 Drew I didn't know there was such a thing as jock. Is that when the snakes pop out?

1:00:30 Adam Yeah, unzip the thing and peanuts come out. Peanuts? Very clever. Nuts, jock full of nuts.

1:00:37 Drew Oh my God. I thought it'd be like the thing with like the snakes pop like out of the can.

1:00:40 Adam I know.

1:00:41 Drew It's a little more of a whoopie whoopie jock.

1:00:43 Adam That's penis full of snakes. That's different. Trevor?

1:00:48 Caller Yeah?

1:00:49 Adam You sell me novelty gifts on your website? Cause I'd like to design those.

1:00:53 Caller I have quite a few.

1:00:55 Drew No, he means like jock full of nuts.

1:00:57 Adam No, I mean, I would like to think.

1:00:59 Caller That's a good idea.

1:01:00 Adam My novelty gifts and mix them with adult toys. You know what I mean?

1:01:06 Drew So what would that make?

1:01:07 Adam Like a vibrator, a dildo buzzer.

1:01:11 Drew Like, hey baby.

1:01:12 Adam Let me go like, zzzz.

1:01:14 Caller That'll go over well. Yeah, like women like that.

1:01:23 Adam I got you baby.

1:01:24 Caller You know what? Those would probably sell really well. That would work.

1:01:27 Adam Yeah. Yeah, the love potion, the water soluble lube that burns.

1:01:32 Drew Like fire.

1:01:34 Adam That'd be great.

1:01:36 Caller Great.

1:01:36 Adam Yeah.

1:01:37 Caller That's good fun.

1:01:40 Adam We could really, we could really get into this. There are plenty of people out there that have a sense of humor and a libido who would appreciate this.

1:01:46 Drew Whoopie plug.

1:01:48 Adam The whoopie butt plug. Yeah. That would be awesome. Nice job, buddy. That is wonderful thinking. I'm just saying, why not lighten up the mood a little in the bedroom? Drew, what happened to you, buddy?

1:02:01 Drew That's what I'm wondering. What happened to me?

1:02:03 Adam I'm just saying, it doesn't have to be that serious, you know? They always say, be playful. Be playful. Fart candle. Honey, I'm gonna light the candle just to set the mood. You know what I'm saying? They say be playful in the bedroom. Why not some good novelty gifts in there? Trevor?

1:02:21 Caller Yeah.

1:02:22 Adam You're 19?

1:02:23 Caller Yeah, I have a question for Jenna. But first I'd like to say, I love you guys. I listen to you religiously ever since I moved here. Moved here from Israel about five months ago.

1:02:35 Adam Really?

1:02:36 Caller Yeah. I thought you'd find that interesting.

1:02:38 Adam I do find it interesting.

1:02:39 Drew What are you doing here?

1:02:41 Caller Well, just wanted to try something new. I have some family here, get to know them.

1:02:45 Adam Mm-hmm.

1:02:47 Drew Yeah, but Fresno.

1:02:48 Adam Fresno.

1:02:49 Caller Oh yeah, I know it's a breeding ground for white trash and it's the first thing I noticed. Hate this place.

1:02:54 Drew How do they know what white trash is?

1:02:56 Adam I don't know, they must pick us up on it.

1:02:59 Caller We get American TV.

1:03:00 Drew Okay.

1:03:01 Adam So, Trevor, so you moved, were you born in Israel?

1:03:06 Caller No, I was actually born in Southern California, but I moved when I was two years old.

1:03:10 Adam Mm-hmm, because your parents were like, you could probably get shot or stabbed in SoCal, but you're not gonna get blown up. Come on, sweetie, let's be realistic. We gotta move to a place where you're gonna get blown up. Fantastic, thanks mom, thanks dad. And so you moved to Israel, and what made you get out of Israel?

1:03:30 Caller Well, basically, they didn't want me in the Army.

1:03:34 Adam Oh, they didn't?

1:03:35 Drew What, your parents didn't want you in the Army, or the Army didn't want you?

1:03:37 Caller No, no, the Army didn't want me in the Army.

1:03:39 Drew Why?

1:03:40 Adam Oh, really? Can you get a lot of weed? Can you get weed in Israel?

1:03:45 Caller Oh, yeah, sure. We have pretty good hash coming in every once in a while.

1:03:48 Adam Oh, I would imagine, yeah, good hash.

1:03:49 Drew So, I don't understand. So, why doesn't everyone that doesn't want to serve smoke pot?

1:03:53 Caller Right.

1:03:54 Caller Because they're afraid to get in trouble with the police.

1:03:57 Drew And you just smoke pot and leave the country?

1:03:59 Caller Oh, well, I already got in trouble with the police. I didn't care if the Army knew or not.

1:04:05 Adam What don't we know about Israel that would shock us? Or what would be the most interesting thing that the people in the United States don't know about it?

1:04:13 Caller Well, from what I hear, hear a lot from people, they think that the Israelis blow themselves up too.

1:04:20 Adam No. That's not true. No, nobody thinks that, do they?

1:04:23 Caller Oh, I've spoken to people that actually told me that that's what they believe.

1:04:28 Caller That's what they don't know.

1:04:29 Adam Oh, well, you're in Fresno, because you're talking to guys going, you got your car bombs and you got your Jew bombs. You are Jew bomb, okay? Now, the Palestinians, they got them car bombs, but you got them Jew bombs. Is that who you're talking to? You're talking to guys who work at transmission shops in Fresno. You're not talking to anybody with an education. Well, you're right. Nobody we know.

1:04:52 Drew But Trevor, you didn't answer Adam's question, though. Is there something about Israel that we would find interesting that we don't know?

1:04:59 Caller I think you get pretty good coverage. People here, we party a lot more from what I see, though.

1:05:08 Adam Yeah, these Israelis do not have a good time.

1:05:12 Drew All right, what's up?

1:05:14 Caller We have to compensate for everything that's going on.

1:05:18 Drew What's going on?

1:05:19 Caller Well, my question for Jenna is, how does a regular person get into porn production?

1:05:25 Adam Production?

1:05:26 Caller Yeah.

1:05:27 Caller Production?

1:05:28 Adam Well, so you don't want to be in the movie?

1:05:30 Caller No, I want to be the guy that makes the money off the movie.

1:05:34 Adam Well, you got this regular thing going for you, which is a step in the right direction. You have to give me a members only jacket, big guy hanging down, stick some hair on your chest. Not really.

1:05:45 Caller I have long hair, you know, I'm a...

1:05:48 Adam You're 19.

1:05:49 Caller And you're 19.

1:05:50 Adam When you're 38, you have the big gut on you and the hairy chest. So what about it? What do you have to do? You got to get a woman, right?

1:05:57 Caller Well, you know, the production side is completely different than being in front of the camera. So the problem is, is it's a very close-knit community. If you don't know people, then it's very hard to be taken seriously and be successful. So my advice would be to start working as like a camera tech, as a grip, learn the ropes. Because it's not as easy as everybody thinks.

1:06:29 Drew So it's like really any other media venture.

1:06:32 Caller Yeah, absolutely. It's the same thing.

1:06:34 Adam Yeah, you don't call Donald Trump and go, whoa, how do I be a mogul? It's like you just get in and start working.

1:06:39 Drew Same thing with television production. You get in there, hustle.

1:06:41 Adam Yeah. Same thing. Now, I do know this from being on the set of a porn and seeing guys around. If you want to do the tech or the grip stuff, you have to have cutoffs. You have to wear a creepy jean cutoff and you have that duct tape hanging off your thing and it's great. But that is really the uniform of the porn grip, is the cutoff denim jeans. I don't know. It seemed to have gone out and over. Every other circle has phased out the cutoffs, but not in porn. And has there ever been a guy, has there ever been a grip or a tech or one of these guys that's creeped you out on the set? I'm sure all of them, every time.

1:07:22 Caller There was a guy that was a lighting grip and he would come to work in female clothing. And hey, to each his own, that's all good, but don't subject me to it. It was very strange, you know, and he was a very heavyset guy and he'd bend over and he'd have these satin G-strings on and yeah, it was a little bit awkward.

1:07:45 Adam Nursing bra?

1:07:47 Caller Yeah.

1:07:47 Adam Wow, I guess if you're showing up to the porn set, you figure, well, I'm just gonna.

1:07:52 Caller Everybody will accept me, but you know what?

1:07:54 Adam Let my freak flag fly here. I mean, who's gonna kick me off this set?

1:07:58 Caller It was very strange. And then he wanted us to start calling him Nancy and yeah, it was weird.

1:08:04 Adam It must have been a great conversation between like him and the director, like listen, Bob, we're shooting a very important triple anal scene here. We're gonna need you to have a little dignity and decorum here, could you go ahead and put some trousers on for Christ's sake? So any other weird, creepy guy, just like, just giving you that weird stink eye the whole time, like he's enjoying this a little too much?

1:08:30 Caller Oh, oh, that's happened quite often.

1:08:32 Adam Nonstop.

1:08:33 Caller Yeah. But I mean, usually they're really respectful. They'll take you aside afterwards and go, oh my God, that was amazing.

1:08:41 Adam The-

1:08:41 Caller You know, which is cool.

1:08:42 Caller Oh yeah.

1:08:42 Caller But I'm lucky that people in the industry have always treated me with respect because I've demanded it.

1:08:50 Adam Right.

1:08:50 Caller So.

1:08:51 Adam Well now, and again, we talk, as we talked about-

1:08:53 Caller Except for Nancy.

1:08:54 Adam Earlier, you got in, it seemed to be, and you made it the right time, but things are definitely different. Things are open to the entrepreneurial spirit, which I don't know. I just wonder if this was 1975, if you would have got chewed up and spat out.

1:09:12 Caller I don't think so.

1:09:13 Adam All right.

1:09:14 Caller Not if I had the right frame of mind like I do now, you know.

1:09:17 Adam Well, the point is, is you're laughing all the way to the bank.

1:09:20 Caller That's right.

1:09:20 Adam God bless you.

1:09:21 Drew Look at the-

1:09:22 Adam God bless you.

1:09:22 Drew They're amazing.

1:09:23 Adam What are we looking at?

1:09:24 Drew What's on her wrist and finger?

1:09:27 Adam Oh, yeah, what is that? Is that real?

1:09:29 Caller Wow.

1:09:30 Adam Oh my, oh my. God, how many carrots is that? What is that thing?

1:09:34 Drew Canary diamond?

1:09:35 Adam Don't ever, if you wear that in front of my wife.

1:09:38 Caller That's what all guys say, though, like, please don't show my wife.

1:09:42 Adam You put your hands in your pockets, you keep them there.

1:09:45 Drew Wow.

1:09:46 Adam What is that thing?

1:09:46 Drew Bring that all up here.

1:09:47 Caller It's a 13-carat canary.

1:09:50 Drew Oh my God. And is that emeralds around the watch?

1:09:54 Caller No, it's just the light hitting. It's a, oh my, gotta check. It's a bouguerie. It was my wedding present from my husband.

1:10:02 Adam I got a cell phone. You seen it?

1:10:05 Drew I gave it away from Mixer.

1:10:07 Adam You gave her, now one of the powered ones or just a swizzle stick?

1:10:10 Drew Power, power.

1:10:13 Adam 13 karat, no, I'm literally a millionaire. Literally, yeah. And so is Drew. Drew, you're literally a millionaire.

1:10:19 Caller Yeah, literally.

1:10:20 Adam All right, that is it for the Jenna Jameson reign on this show. God bless you, sweetie pea. Always a delight. Always good to see you.

1:10:28 Caller I'm so glad to be here.

1:10:30 Adam Will you come back anytime?

1:10:31 Caller I will.

1:10:32 Adam All right. The name of the book is How to Make Love Like a Porn Star, Cautionary Tale. Well, again, going to be at Book Soup, 7 o'clock tomorrow, out here in Los Angeles, West LA, right? On Sunset?

1:10:45 Caller Yeah, it's on Sunset.

1:10:46 Adam All right. We will take ourselves a little break. We'll be right back after this. Y'all, it's The Love Line. I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1, Black Eyed Peas, in here tomorrow night. Jimma, Jimma, Jimma, no, no. Jenna Jameson is, has or is left the building.

1:11:40 Caller Drew?

1:11:41 Adam Yeah. Doing good, buddy?

1:11:42 Drew Yeah, how about you?

1:11:43 Adam Feeling good?

1:11:44 Drew Yeah. Did you have fun?

1:11:46 Adam Had a good time.

1:11:47 Drew Yeah.

1:11:48 Adam Always love that Jenna Jameson. I can't believe it's been five years that she's been on this show.

1:11:53 Drew That is weird. All right. I remember though when you discovered her, you kept bugging Anne to get her up here. There's this one, there's this one. You gotta get her up here.

1:12:05 Adam Did I do that?

1:12:06 Drew Yeah, I remember that.

1:12:07 Adam Well, all right. Well, there you go, Drew. I got an eye for talent.

1:12:12 Drew What can you say?

1:12:13 Adam Let's speak to Jimmy who's 17. Jimmy? Yeah.

1:12:21 Caller What's up, Jimmy. Not much man.

1:12:24 Caller Thinking about getting a Prince Albert.

1:12:27 Drew No, no, you're not.

1:12:28 Adam Yeah. We don't buy it.

1:12:31 Caller Oh, really?

1:12:32 Adam Yeah. Bogus.

1:12:34 Why is it bogus?

1:12:36 Adam Well, now nd now it Jeremy Test. Before, we were just level one. Now, we're like Defcon 5 on the bogus meter. Yeah, sorry, buddy. I'll tell you why.

1:12:50 Drew We're good, though, huh?

1:12:51 Adam I'll tell you why. It's just that attitude. You had your... When a question sounds like a sack of potato chips that is just puffed up with air, and there's really nothing in them.

1:13:04 Drew Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like, if you needed our help about a Prince Albert, we'd feel that. We'd feel like the reason you were calling, the importance of it to you, as opposed to the announcement that I'm thinking about it. Well, that's an announcement. That's not a question.

1:13:20 Adam Well, it's a good point, and a good way for us to blow some air up our own asses here, Drew, which is people think we...

1:13:29 Drew Is that with the whoopee plug or the...

1:13:31 Adam Whoopee butt plug. People think that we react to the content of the question. Like, oh, you must have known that one was bogus because it was so outlandish. The reality is, is most of our bogus calls are on sort of mundane questions.

1:13:48 Drew Which is a smart strategy, by the way.

1:13:50 Adam Yeah, it's just...

1:13:51 Drew Because you get off your guard a little bit.

1:13:52 Adam And it just turns out, oftentimes, people have crazier, more complicated, real situations that are a little too advanced in the scenario department for a lot of the people that are stoned and calling the show thinking about making bogus phone calls. We react to the persons to how they feel and how they make us feel, and that felt hollow. You know what it feels like? It's a difference between looking at a plywood facade of an old western town and actually being in an old western town.

1:14:21 Drew That's right. That's great to know.

1:14:24 Adam Really? Yeah. Thanks, Drew.

1:14:25 Drew Whatever.

1:14:26 Adam Jessica?

1:14:27 Drew If I didn't feel that way, I'd have to say it.

1:14:29 Adam No, no, no, yes. Yeah. You're 18?

1:14:36 Caller Uh-huh.

1:14:37 Adam What's up?

1:14:39 Caller A friend and I were having a discussion yesterday about masturbation. The difference between males and females. And he asked me, what did I think the norm was for girls? And I was like, I don't know, because I think I do it more than most girls my age.

1:14:55 Adam Hold on. Did you say ask?

1:14:56 Caller Ask.

1:14:59 Adam Cause you're white, right?

1:15:01 Caller Yeah.

1:15:01 Adam And then you understand it's offensive to the African American community when white people say ask, axe. You understand? It's like they can call themselves the N word, but we can't call them that. You know what I'm saying? It's the same, they don't talk about it, but the same with ask and axe. Go ahead. That's all right.

1:15:22 Caller And I wanted to know statistically, what is it for teenage girls and what is it for teenage boys?

1:15:29 Drew It's probably about once every day or so for boys.

1:15:34 Adam Teenage.

1:15:34 Drew Teenage. For boys. And for girls, it's a much broader range. A lot, most are in the zero category.

1:15:44 Caller Yeah.

1:15:45 Drew And some are in the few times a week category.

1:15:47 Adam I would say for teenage boys also, to put a finer point on it, it goes into this crowd of once you pass this threshold point of about 35, now it's two to three times a day. Do you see what I'm saying?

1:16:06 Caller No.

1:16:06 Drew Threshold 35.

1:16:08 Adam Number under your belt. Like here's the thing. Let's say you start off your 15 or your 14. It's once a week or something. At a certain point, it becomes twice a week. At a certain point when the total number that you've done it reaches 36, it begins to become, you get a little momentum with it.

1:16:27 Drew I understand it can be that way, but I'm still thinking of an average is probably more around once a day.

1:16:31 Adam Yeah, average once a day because you factor in the people that just got started. When the guy becomes seasoned, look out. And I wonder, Drew, if the access to the internet, the pornography and all that stuff has cranked up the notch. What happened to you? Oh, back in our day, in our day, Drew. First off, what we would do is we would steal a stick from the elders fire and I would use, I would use the charcoal at the end of the stick to draw boobies on a piece of bark.

1:17:09 Caller Yeah, yeah.

1:17:11 Adam And I would stare at it. No, seriously, you would take porn and you would borrow.

1:17:15 Drew Chris is trying to picture that right now. Look at him, he's like, really, whoa, Adam with us looking at a piece of bark.

1:17:21 Adam We would go to the elders hut, okay?

1:17:24 Drew And that's where the elder, and when, You know, I was thinking, he was thinking about Jenna, that's what that was.

1:17:29 Adam Is that what that is?

1:17:29 Caller Yeah, I'm still, yeah.

1:17:30 Adam You lost and thought?

1:17:31 Drew You noticed how he didn't seem to be here for a while?

1:17:33 Adam Yeah.

1:17:34 Drew He was in the room.

1:17:35 Adam Yeah, the normally gregarious, chatty, Chris the engineer quieted down all of a sudden.

1:17:40 Drew Mesmerized.

1:17:41 Adam Yeah, it's usually like a livestock auctioneer, you can't shut the kid up, but he slipped into a deep, deep sexual coma.

1:17:50 Drew He really was an altered state.

1:17:51 Adam Yeah.

1:17:51 Drew You gotta snap him out of it.

1:17:53 Adam It was sweet. Do you have some Jenna Jameson movies, Chris?

1:17:57 Caller I don't own them, no.

1:17:58 Adam No, you don't? You rent? Internet? Where do you, no, you're living at home. Do you have to hide the poor? In your room?

1:18:06 Caller No.

1:18:07 Adam Uh-oh.

1:18:09 Drew Mom will drop dead.

1:18:10 Caller No, I just have a radio in my room.

1:18:11 Caller Just the radio.

1:18:13 Adam Yeah, sneaking into the living room after you thought mom went to bed could be very dangerous territory. Comes out glass of milk, Minuten, Oh no oh, zuえっ, isn't that hot? Chris' mom's not even Mexican. no, wait, she is, right? What is she? Half. What is she though? What's the mom? She's half?

1:18:40 Caller Her mom.

1:18:41 Drew No. Who's the Mexican in your family?

1:18:43 Caller Yeah, my mom's half, half Mexican.

1:18:46 Adam Oh, yeah, good. That's a heart attack right there. Mejo, I made you some...

1:18:59 Drew Oh, no.

1:19:00 Caller Yeah.

1:19:01 Adam Next day, she finds a stain on the carpet. She thinks it's the Virgin Mary. Chris has to explain what happened.

1:19:07 Drew It's a masculine stain.

1:19:08 Adam So the DVD players in the living room.

1:19:15 Caller Yeah.

1:19:16 Adam You've got to get one in your room. You've got a TV in your room?

1:19:19 Caller No, I don't have a TV in my room.

1:19:20 Adam No TV.

1:19:21 Drew You need to lend him your little portable DVD player.

1:19:24 Adam You've got to computer? Oh, I have a computer, yes. A computer is in your room?

1:19:28 Drew Wow.

1:19:28 Adam That's good enough. Why no TV, though?

1:19:30 Caller I just don't like it in my room, that's all.

1:19:33 Drew Batch Feng Shui.

1:19:33 Adam You don't because it costs $200?

1:19:37 Caller No, I have a good stereo and a good computer.

1:19:39 Adam All right. You don't need the TV in there. You got enough room. But what happens when you do get hold of a good DVD? You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying.

1:19:48 Caller I never reveal my secrets.

1:19:49 Adam Yeah, but you got mom's work scheduled down pretty good. I like the check up phone call. Drew, you've done this with your wife before. You do that call where it's like, hey, what's going on? You know they're at work, or you know they're out on the cell phone, and you're thumping the melon a little bit. What's going on? Oh, you're still over at Sharon's house. When are you getting out of there? Okay, great. Well, I'll be here. You hang up, you're like, okay, I have 33 minutes. It's a 19-minute drive from Sharon's house to this house. That's if she makes every signal, and she's got to wrap it up over there. Okay, I got 33 minutes. Yeah, that's the feel-out call. Chris, you do that call your mom at work. How are you doing? Just want to see, okay, you'll be leaving soon.

1:20:29 Drew I got the Skinamax on TiVo, so it's all good. Skinamax. Yeah.

1:20:34 Adam Got the TiVo. You got the TiVo, Chris?

1:20:36 Drew Yes.

1:20:39 Adam In the catbird seat, Drew.

1:20:41 Drew Yeah. He spent the evening with Jenna Jameson here, just here in the stupor.

1:20:45 Adam You should be paying me.

1:20:47 Drew Okay.

1:20:49 Adam What are we going to do, Drew?

1:20:51 Drew I thought we'd take a call.

1:20:52 Adam We'll take a call? Why start?

1:20:54 Drew Let's take a break.

1:20:55 Adam All right, let's take a break. Why don't we come back?

1:20:59 Drew Talk to me has been a hole for 116 minutes, haven't we?

1:21:02 Adam Yeah. John? All right. Right after this.

1:21:07 Caller Hello?

1:21:10 Caller This is Love Line, 1-800-LOVE-191.

1:21:37 Adam Love line, I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. Forget about that phone number. We don't need your calls. We're lucky to get to the ones we have here, right Drew?

1:21:46 Caller Yeah.

1:21:48 Adam Engineer Chris, smitten with Jenna Jameson. Speechless. A man of few words normally. There's nothing left of him.

1:21:59 Drew Yeah.

1:22:00 Caller Poor Chris.

1:22:01 Drew The shell of a person.

1:22:02 Adam Yeah, there's nothing left. You all right, buddy?

1:22:08 Drew Were you a fan of hers before this?

1:22:10 Caller Yeah.

1:22:12 Adam Now, let me ask you.

1:22:13 Drew What's going to happen to Chris tonight?

1:22:15 Adam What's going to happen to him? What's going to happen to little Chris? That's a real question. He may pull that thing off. Have to get Dr. Alter in here to reattach it. Dr. Alter's phone ringing for the morning.

1:22:28 Drew What?

1:22:29 Adam What's the problem? Yeah, Alter. It's Adam from Loveline. Remember engineer Chris? Yeah. Pull this dork off. Is he at home? No, actually it was on the way home. It was in his car. He didn't know what to do. He's by the side of the tent. He's got it sitting in milk. Thank Christ he was drinking milk. All right. Let's keep going. Drew, don't read in the book while we're doing the show. You're going to read that book though. You can bring it home. Your wife going to let you bring it home? Maybe.

1:22:58 Drew Maybe.

1:23:00 Adam You're not going to chance.

1:23:00 Drew No, I'm thinking more about the kids and stuff.

1:23:02 Adam You don't want them seeing it? A little naughty. Got some pictures?

1:23:08 Caller Yeah.

1:23:09 Adam It's time they learn. They know what daddy really does and really thinks about. You know what I mean? So not so much the wife, but the kids.

1:23:18 Drew No, yeah, not the mom, Susan.

1:23:19 Adam They just think you can hide stuff from the kids? They get into stuff?

1:23:23 Drew Think about that. What, me? Yes, if you're losing my house at age 12.

1:23:28 Adam Let me explain a couple of things. Your house, I could find anything in my house because my house was the size of one of those cat litter boxes with the roof on it. It was marginally smaller than that. As a matter of fact, cats used to just crap in our house. They thought, well, it's got to be-

1:23:45 Drew They had their head sticking out while they crapped in there.

1:23:47 Adam If I would come home from school, there'd be a head sticking, a cat's head sticking out the window of the house while it was making. They had that great look on it. You know, they're thinking, I'm taking a dump. Like, hey, hey, hey, that's not, that's not a cat house. That's how I live there.

1:24:01 Drew Got it.

1:24:01 Adam Yeah, so I could find porn because most, or whatever. The house could only hold like two Playboys. And your place, though, you got like, you know, you got like 6, 000 square feet. You got plenty of place to hide the porn there.

1:24:15 Drew Even so, I got three kids running around there. What do you think?

1:24:17 Adam They come into the bedroom.

1:24:18 Drew They get in everything.

1:24:19 Adam They look through the closet.

1:24:21 Drew They haven't, but I know that stage has gotta come.

1:24:23 Adam No, yeah, here's what happens. I'll tell you why. I'll tell you what happens. It starts innocently enough, which is around Christmas. They want to find out what their gifts are. And they reach up and there's a box on top and they pull and all of a sudden, an avalanche of vibrators crushes them. And that's when reality sets in. Yes? Yes.

1:24:42 Drew So, anyway.

1:24:43 Adam All right. John?

1:24:45 Caller Yeah.

1:24:46 Caller You're 25?

1:24:46 Adam Yes, I am. You went on hold for 124 minutes and 44 seconds. It's gotta be some kind of record.

1:24:53 Caller It's been pretty long. I've actually got a buddy that's going out of town that I'm supposed to be hanging out with right now.

1:25:01 Adam Oh, sorry, brother.

1:25:02 Drew We're gonna do, apologize to your buddy for us.

1:25:05 Adam We're gonna do what we can for you.

1:25:06 Caller Thanks for getting to my call, though. I appreciate it.

1:25:09 Drew John, you're our favorite caller of all time. Two hours on hold and he's thanking us. All right. By the way, is that not the difference between a hostile person and a good person?

1:25:18 Adam Yes. Yes, or a pathetic person.

1:25:21 Drew No.

1:25:21 Adam So, you have the urge to pee after masturbation.

1:25:27 Caller Yeah, kind of a weird question, you know. Ironic too, seeing as how Jenna was on tonight.

1:25:31 Adam Yeah. And no, but nothing comes out after.

1:25:35 Caller Right, right, because like, you know, it's only happened to me like twice. You know, the first time I drank a lot of beer that night and after I got home, you know, whatever, I masturbated. And, you know, even after that, you know, I relieved myself, I urinated. And like, even after I urinated, it still felt like I had to urinate.

1:25:55 Drew Well, that urgency to pee is all a function of irritation of your urethra. And then sometimes the prostate. But the whole outflow track can become irritated, either from masturbation or sometimes even from the semen itself coming down. And usually it passes, that kind of irritation passes in an hour or two by itself.

1:26:13 Caller True. Yeah, that's what it seemed like. But it, you know, it's only happened to me twice. And both times it was when I drank a lot of, you know, diuretic, you know, pretty much.

1:26:21 Drew A lot of what?

1:26:22 Caller Diuretics.

1:26:24 Adam Diuretics.

1:26:25 Caller Diuretics, yeah.

1:26:26 Drew I mean, things, not diuretics, you mean fluids?

1:26:29 Adam I think it's like coffee. No, it means coffee and alcohol.

1:26:32 Caller Well, beer, beer and coffee and water, as a matter of fact.

1:26:36 Drew Yeah. Well, coffee is a diuretic, beer is just fluid. And beer.

1:26:40 Adam Alcohol's not considered a diuretic.

1:26:41 Drew No.

1:26:42 Adam It isn't.

1:26:43 Drew No.

1:26:43 Adam But yet it has some of the same effects, doesn't it?

1:26:45 Drew It just makes you pee because you're drinking so much volume.

1:26:48 Adam Well, now hold on a second there, Wiseacre.

1:26:50 Drew By the way, the alcohol also irritates the urethra tract.

1:26:54 Adam It does.

1:26:54 Drew Yes, the outflow tract can be irritated by alcohol, so.

1:26:56 Adam Okay, let me just get this straight. Caffeine diuretic.

1:27:00 Drew Yeah, slight, mild.

1:27:02 Adam Mild. Is that what you're saying?

1:27:05 Drew Diuretic means it's stimulating your body to unload fluids above physiological levels.

1:27:11 Adam Right. You wouldn't normally have to urinate, but now you have to urinate.

1:27:15 Drew It's not just unloading the volume you put in, above and beyond that volume, there's more going out than going in.

1:27:22 Adam So caffeine will do that. Diet soda, coffee, that kind of stuff. Slightly. But they do talk about people drink like a lot of diet soda, get rid of a lot, they make too much out of it. And then I thought alcohol had the same effect.

1:27:36 Drew No, it's pure volume.

1:27:37 Adam Just pure volume. No diuretic at all. So you're just drinking beer, you're just peeing as much as you take in.

1:27:43 Drew Yes, I'm just thinking you can get dehydrated.

1:27:48 Adam Yeah, but I thought you do get dehydrated.

1:27:50 Drew I'm trying to think how the dehydration occurs.

1:27:53 Adam And then what is a real diuretic? A diuretic?

1:27:56 Drew Diuretic, there's different means of, they affect the loop or the tubules in the kidneys. It changes, you know, the physiology.

1:28:06 Adam It's boring, but.

1:28:06 Drew It stimulates the fluid to come, not be reabsorbed by the kidney, it can keep on flowing out.

1:28:12 Adam So, a diuretic is anything that makes you do that, put out more than you take in, but coffee, you know, coffee's about, diet soda's about as good, or regular soda's about as good as we're gonna do, but if you, they have real diuretics.

1:28:29 Drew Oh yeah.

1:28:29 Adam You go get them.

1:28:30 Caller Yeah.

1:28:30 Adam Go get me some of that.

1:28:31 Drew No.

1:28:32 Adam Try out what, for some surgery or a test or something like that?

1:28:34 Drew Well, when you have heart failure and liver failure and you got, your body hangs unnaturally onto fluid, you wanna make it unnaturally go the other way. All right. To try to bring it back towards normal.

1:28:43 Adam Let me ask you a question about urethritis, right? What is the difference between non-specific urethritis and non-gonococcal urethritis?

1:28:52 Drew Same thing, same thing.

1:28:53 Adam Same thing.

1:28:54 Drew Same thing.

1:28:54 Adam That's what I thought.

1:28:55 Drew Why, why, did this come up with the jimmy's today?

1:28:57 Adam I got this guy at work that's got, he's a. He's a red fountain.

1:29:02 Drew Ouch.

1:29:02 Adam Yeah, MGU, that's a non-gonococcal urethritis. Asian hooker.

1:29:08 Drew I figured.

1:29:09 Adam No, I don't know. Where do you get it?

1:29:11 Drew Asian hookers.

1:29:13 Adam Do you.

1:29:14 Drew No, anybody can get that from anybody. That's why you wear condoms.

1:29:17 Adam Yeah, but does it have to be sexually transmitted disease? The non-specific urethritis?

1:29:21 Drew Yeah, you know, that's a.

1:29:23 Adam You could get it from what?

1:29:25 Drew Other bacteria.

1:29:26 Adam Is Chris gonna give it to himself tonight?

1:29:29 Drew If he rubs a little dookie around, you know.

1:29:32 Adam So you can, it's hard to get.

1:29:34 Drew It's really.

1:29:35 Adam It's with a partner.

1:29:36 Drew It's considered a sexually transmitted disease.

1:29:37 Adam It is.

1:29:38 Drew Yeah.

1:29:38 Adam He's gonna be glad to hear that when I announce it at the writers meeting tomorrow.

1:29:42 Drew Quote me.

1:29:43 Adam Chris?

1:29:44 Caller Yes?

1:29:45 Adam You're 25?

1:29:46 Caller Yes.

1:29:47 Adam Did we finish with John from Minnesota over here?

1:29:50 Drew All right.

1:29:51 Adam Go ahead, Chris.

1:29:52 Caller Well, I think it's kind of wrong sometimes I put it on.

1:30:01 Drew To start what?

1:30:02 Adam She has a horrible line, but he wants to get it on with her while she's asleep essentially.

1:30:07 Drew Yeah, if you behave like that when you're awake, he'd do it when you're awake too. You see, Adam, am I right on this?

1:30:14 Adam Yeah.

1:30:14 Drew You know what I'm saying?

1:30:15 Adam Yeah.

1:30:16 Drew If you would let him proceed unencumbered by conversation or anything else, he'd be fine when you're awake too.

1:30:26 Adam Well, what's the question?

1:30:27 Caller Well, the question is maybe is it psychologically rooted? Is it maybe about dominance or?

1:30:33 Drew No.

1:30:36 Caller Well, listen.

1:30:38 Drew You get a feel for things here, Adam?

1:30:40 Adam Yeah, well, guys get a boner when they go to bed a lot of the time. She's nutty. Yeah. Yeah, why is she nutty? What's going on with her? Chris?

1:30:51 Caller Yeah?

1:30:52 Adam What do you do for a living?

1:30:56 Drew Mortician.

1:30:57 Adam Shocking.

1:30:58 Drew Is he a mortician too?

1:31:00 Caller No, no, he's a bartender.

1:31:02 Adam Have you called the show before? What do you do as a mortician? You prepare bodies for the grave?

1:31:13 Caller I meet families, I arrange funerals, I conduct funerals, I do embalming, and we talk about it.

1:31:19 Adam What's the, do you guys, you guys have that Neptune Society out there in San Francisco?

1:31:26 Drew It takes business away from Chris.

1:31:28 Adam Yeah. You don't want to mess with the Corollas. I was just having a laugh about this. I really, everyone's in the Neptune Society. Which is, look, here's the deal with the Corollas. They ain't going to give you money when you're alive. You think they're going to spend 1500 bucks on a casket when you're gone? You're lucky to get 18 bucks when you're walking around on this planet. You dead. I really, if there was a service that said, look, we drag the corpse to a gator farm and toss him in, it looks like a Bond movie.

1:32:06 Drew The Carolla service.

1:32:07 Adam They'd be like, well, is it cheaper than the city burial? Up then, we're in, they're in because-

1:32:13 Drew It's realistic, what the hell?

1:32:15 Adam Corollas are atheists. And why should they, you already have enough heartache, why should your wallet ache?

1:32:22 Drew Anyway, as far as Chris is going here, the fact that he, I think he just likes the fact that she's quiet and holds still and that's probably what he'd go for when she was awake too, if she were capable of that. You know what I mean? I don't mean to be disparaging, but I don't think it's fetishistic, it's just, he just, yeah.

1:32:36 Adam I wonder if Chris' attraction to the embalming process and the asleep with the sex is kind of.

1:32:42 Drew I know, it's weird, I don't think so. To me, it adds up to bogus is what it adds up to.

1:32:46 Adam I'm reaching. We'll take a quick break, we'll be right back.

1:32:50 Caller Alright guys, here's the deal. You looking to hook up, sick of wasting time with the wrong person? 877-889-DATE. Call the Dateline.

1:33:01 Caller 1-800-CALL-UP-LINE.

1:33:31 Drew Well, there you go. That's it.

1:33:32 Adam That's Love Line. We were doing that best of CD. We may have saved snippets from that show for it, Drew.

1:33:40 Drew What do you think, Anderson?

1:33:42 Adam Oh, Drew, maybe we're going to-

1:33:43 Drew You mean the video version?

1:33:44 Adam No, just the CD.

1:33:46 Caller Which snippets would those be?

1:33:48 Adam There you go.

1:33:49 Drew Some of Adam's finer stuff.

1:33:50 Adam That's right. It'll be in outer space. Everyone, listen, that's the way it's meant to be done. Well, I want to thank Jenna Jameson for coming in here tonight. And until next time, ousing for Dr. Drew is saying Пр

Episode Feedback

Wednesday, August 25, 2004