Episode 1000636521249

6:18 Voiceover Loveline is meant for an adult audience. Loveline may contain sexually-oriented content. Sexually-oriented content. Listener discretion is advised. Listener discretion is advised. Listener discretion is advised. With Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew.

6:42 Drew Ooh, Chris gave me the finger. You see that? He gave you that thing you came into radio to experience.

6:49 Adam Oh, he gave me the ear on the air. Nice. Thanks, buddy.

6:52 Been a year, been waiting for that.

6:56 Drew Give it a big one.

6:57 Adam I think that means he farted.

6:59 Drew We want you to.

7:00 Adam Hey, buddy, it's Loveline. I laugh every time because we have a new beginning. And it's very 80s, very Max Headroom. I expect to look across and see Drew wearing a sport coat, the sleeves pulled up, listening to a lingo boingo on a walkman or something. Very 80s. All right, phone number 1-800-L-E-E-1-9-1, Dr. Drew, board certified physician, addiction medicine specialist. Tonight, we're here to talk about the X Games. Ronnie Renner's here, Chad Kagy's here. Ronnie does a freestyle motocross, and Chad does BMX. And nice to see you guys, by the way. I'm a big fan of the X Games. And I've been, I mean, this is a sport that has gone berserk in the last, you know, handful of years, but say especially the last 3 to 5. And it's because the stuff is getting crazier tenfold from one year to the next. I mean, it's not like other sports where, you know, basketball, football, it's sort of a slow progression, guys hitting a little harder, doing a little better, dunking.

8:06 Drew In those spirits, the actual humanity actually has to evolve. You need bigger people, stronger people.

8:11 Adam Right. This just needs more pot and bigger ramps. That's right. Is really how the sport evolves. But the stuff that's going on, like, now let's see, Chad broke his neck, right, in the Gravity Games?

8:26 Guest Last year, last September.

8:27 Adam Doing a double backflip on a bike.

8:30 Drew You got a compression fracture?

8:33 Guest C5 broke in half, horizontal.

8:36 Adam Wow.

8:38 Drew And it was stable.

8:39 Guest Yeah, well, it was kind of a weird situation. I ended up getting up and riding my bike afterward. I stretched out the ligaments in the back of my neck, too.

8:46 Adam That's a man. Got up on the bike, rode it. Yeah, Drew, not many guys can do that, right? After a broken neck? Drew, what would you be doing after a broken neck?

8:55 Drew Crying.

8:56 Adam That's right. And for how long?

8:59 Drew Let's see, what time of day was that?

9:02 Guest About noon.

9:03 Drew Seven months.

9:03 Adam Seven months, seven, eight months, okay. I drove by the ramps on the way, I came in from New York about a week and a half ago and I saw the big plywood ramps set up. One looked like a takeoff, the other looked like a landing ramp, but I was trying to figure out what was gonna go on on these ramps because the takeoff ramp was about four or five stories and the landing seemed like it was about 15, 20 feet off the ground and they seemed kind of spread apart and what's going on on those ramps?

9:34 That's the new thing right there. Is that the skateboarding? The skateboarding best trick I think.

9:38 Guest Yes, the skateboarding has like this giant ski jump, one big 50 foot jump and like a 20 foot tall quarter pipe to get air on the end.

9:47 Adam Drew, it's like Dr. Seuss drew it up. Like if you just stood on the bottom of it and someone like handed you a skateboard and said, here, here, get up there, you'd be like, oh, come on, are you kidding? What are you talking about? Nobody go off that with a skateboard. You can't do anything off that. You could get like a wino to the top and roll them down or slide them down or something. You couldn't do anything with that. First of all, it looks like it goes straight down for about the first three stories and then it starts to peel off. It's a monstrosity.

10:20 Guest It's like 65, 70 degrees and it's 75 feet tall.

10:24 Adam Yeah, it's eight stories tall.

10:26 Drew I mean, not just kill yourself going down.

10:28 Adam I don't know. You drive, how do you not kill yourself at the top where you just put a bullet in your head and you go, no, I'm not going to do it.

10:33 Drew Right.

10:33 Adam Too scared. I mean.

10:34 Drew Jump off the other side. Get over it.

10:36 Adam That's what I would do. That's a big trick.

10:38 Drew That's the other move.

10:38 Adam Judges holding up 10s.

10:40 I always said that the skateboard guys are just mostly technical and they do pull some gnarly stuff, but the motocross guys, we do the big jumps and everything, but they definitely raised the bar for skateboarding this year because I don't even want to drop in on my dirt bike.

10:55 Adam I would look at that thing and it's like, what the hell are they doing with that? I was just driving by when they were putting it up and I was thinking, what are they doing? But let's talk about that dirt bike for a second, Ronnie. But, and by the way, I saw some guys doing a demo in front of Kimmel's when they closed the street off a few weeks back. I don't know if you had anything to do with that.

11:20 I think that was like an X Games preview.

11:21 Adam Right on Hollywood. And here's what they do now, Drew, it's crazy. They'll just close off a street, they'll set up a ramp, but the ramp's only about three, four feet wide. It's not that wide. There's not a lot of room for air. And it goes up at a real steep angle and just launches people. And they don't get a long run at it. They do a turn, quick probably second gear acceleration, and they just hit it with so much momentum and thrust that it just, and it's so steep, it just sends them. It just launches them. Guy did a flip, landed on some landing ramp 30 feet away. Like just out in the middle of the street.

11:58 Caller Try 80, Adam.

11:59 Adam Really? Really?

12:01 Caller We're gnarly, dude.

12:03 Adam Wow. I tell you that the, and you know, I gotta, we gotta stop kissing skateboard ass here. I was just marveling. Actually, not at the skateboards, but the construction. CDX ply, good one side, a finger joint, and the whole thing was put in with tech screws, Drew. It was beautiful. It was a work. Two coats of varathane exterior. Nice, nice stuff. No, but the motocross stuff is the thing about the bike. The BMX stuff gets real hairy when they start getting inverted, but then you got the motorcycle stuff where they're getting inverted. They're getting upside down. The bike's gonna land on them. It defies description. I don't even know, like Drew, you watch the movie on any Sunday. You guys see that movie on any Sunday? Don't you have to watch movies like that?

12:52 Caller Yeah, that's like the endless summer for surfing, you know. I think every sport's got one of those.

12:57 Adam They show a guy riding a wheelie for 30 feet on a sand dune and it was like, oh, wow, look at that. You know what I mean? Like they would literally show guys just going around a berm. Just, you know, the berm was two and a half feet high and the guy's got himself some hiking boots and a football helmet on and he's wearing a long-sleeve Lure shirt with some foam rubber duct tape to his arm and he's just going around. Hey, look at him, he's going around the berm. Wow, could watch that for hours. And they just have 30 guys all going around the berm and some surfing music playing in the background. It was like, wow, kids would kill you now if you tried to show them that. Oh my God.

13:34 Caller Yeah.

13:34 Adam Yeah, I mean, where it has come from that to what it is today in the relatively short period of time is absolutely amazing. So, all right, so what's the schedule like? The game started today, they go through Sunday. What do you guys have on tap?

13:51 Caller There's a lot going on between the BMX guys, us, skateboarding. Do they have rollerblading anymore? I hope not, but I don't know.

13:58 Guest I mean, just on vert, just one thing. Tomorrow night, I'm going to be riding the vert finals at like 7 o'clock inside the Staples Center. Saturday afternoon at like 3 o'clock, I'll be doing the park finals.

14:12 Adam OK, is the park, what's the vert is the half pipe, right?

14:17 Guest Single half pipe.

14:18 Adam Oh, a single half pipe.

14:19 Guest It's just a single ramp.

14:20 Adam Single half pipe. All right, so it's a U.

14:22 Guest Yeah, a U bend.

14:24 Adam Right, and the park is what?

14:27 Guest Basically like a parking lot full of a variety of different ramps.

14:31 Adam Right.

14:31 Guest Box jumps, quarter pipes, spine, stuff like that, walls.

14:34 Adam Right, and they have the same thing for the skateboarders. They have the pipe and then they have the park where they're doing all those crazy grind things. And it's just a cracked testicle waiting to happen. How much air do you get over the top of the ramp?

14:48 Guest Vert ramp, we go about 12 feet over the top of that and the ramp's 13 and a half feet tall.

14:52 Adam Yeah, and people really, if you want to picture, people at 12 feet, stand in their basketball hoop and then picture just about the top of the board and there's your 12 feet. It's maybe about 13 and a half. But the point is, is a story and a half. Just go up on a rock that's 12 feet above a swimming pool and jump into it.

15:14 It always feels good to fall from that.

15:16 Guest You know what's bad enough is getting people who look at it from down on the floor, they go, oh, you don't look like you're going that high. Just get them on top of the ramp to look down. First two feet of that ramp are straight up and down that you can't see unless you hover your head over the top.

15:28 Caller I was watching the Moto Best Trick tonight. I wasn't into that and that's just getting out of control and I'm getting old. So, and I'm standing up on top of the half pipe. I jumped dirt bikes. I've gone 200 feet before and probably 60 feet high. I don't even know, but I'm looking down on this 12 foot vert ramp and I'm like, I ain't doing that.

15:47 Guest Did you just say you're getting old?

15:48 Caller Yeah.

15:49 Adam Well, he's 21.

15:51 Caller 27, dude, I'm washed up.

15:53 Adam Where'd you go 200 feet on a dirt bike, on like sand dunes or something?

15:57 Caller No, like Central, I don't even know what that's called up there. Getting up the coast in Cali, rolling hills.

16:03 Adam Just on dirt?

16:04 Caller Yeah, just build a kicker on those rolling hills and land on the other side of the mountain.

16:08 Adam Oh, 200 feet. I don't know what the record is. I know Robbie Knievel jumped on the Intrepid the other night. He kept saying he was jumping over the Intrepid. And I was on the Intrepid. I got to sue TNN or TNT or whatever did this. My brain exploded. I was on the Intrepid the week before he jumped it, or a few days before he jumped it. And he kept saying, Robbie Knievel jumps over the Intrepid. It's an aircraft carrier. And I was looking at it from every angle, going, he's not going to be able to jump over this. I don't see how he's going to jump over. He jumped on it. He jumped on it. He jumped like a helicopter in an airplane. It was OK. But I mean, that's the other thing. Yeah, you don't like it.

16:52 Caller I know guys that can do that and do a heart attack or a Superman seat grab off of it. But he's just living off his dad's name. His dad's an animal. We all got mad respect for evil. But come on, take the feather out of your hat.

17:06 Adam Well, you think you're an old man. He's like 42, and he's jumping those things.

17:12 Caller God, he makes dirt black riders. It's embarrassing. He's all front end high.

17:17 Adam Oh, yeah, you can't have that. No, but I got to give him his props. He did go building to building in Vegas a year ago. And I thought to myself, well, you break the chain on the approach to that.

17:27 That's not a great day.

17:29 Adam Give you a little credit on the building to building. But yeah, but his old man doing that stuff on a Harley, that's the crazy part.

17:40 It's insane, no suspension, shot a wild turkey and go for it.

17:43 Adam Maybe a couple. And then a quick speech to the kids about dope and then safety.

17:51 Adam Here's evil. A handful of painkillers, a few barbiturates, a couple shots of wild turkey, make the jump. Then afterward, we talk about safety and dope to the kids. He was great. He was a great blowhard. I mean, first off, he had leather flares. You know, he had bell-bottom leathers. He jumped in, essentially, Beatles boots. He didn't wear vans. He wore hard leather, smooth, zip up on the side, 60s, the kind of boots that Spock wore in Star Trek. You understand? You would slide right off a peg if you got on a bike with those boots on just immediately. He'd been wearing those boots. He had the chain guard on his Harley, and about an inch and a half of travel in the back, the rear fender was an inch above the back tire. The bike would just crash on its own when he landed. It was trained to crash. You would see him land, and it was fine, but it was like these movies where they jump the General Lee over the river. They show it land, and then they show all the suspension blow out, and the thing gets squirreled, and then they cut to them going down the road again with the green screen behind them. But they never made that cut. He would just land, and then you'd just see the bike start getting all over the place. If he had your bike today, he'd be all right, right?

19:07 Caller Yeah, he'd be jumping Snake River Canyon for sure.

19:11 Adam Rocket car. Kids, don't do dope. Stay in school.

19:18 Caller Take it from evil.

19:19 Adam Now, I'm going to have another shot of Jane B and beat a photographer with a baseball bat. God bless you. Nice speech.

19:29 Kyle?

19:31 Yeah?

19:31 Adam You're 16?

19:33 Caller Yes.

19:34 Adam What's happening, baby doll?

19:35 Well, I did a piercing a while ago and it's still pussing.

19:40 Caller I was wondering, like, how long is it supposed to be pussing?

19:44 Adam How long ago did you do it?

19:47 About a month or two ago.

19:49 Adam Seems long.

19:50 Drew Where is this piercing?

19:53 Caller It's on my penis.

19:55 Drew And you did it yourself?

20:00 Adam By the way, that's up there. You ought to give a speech to kids about dope and staying in school because that's right up there.

20:05 Drew And about dangerous behaviors. What's up with Kyle? What's going on?

20:09 Caller I think Evil would have said, don't pierce your penis.

20:11 Adam Kids, stay away from dope. Stay in school. And for Christ's sake, don't shove a spear through your dork. Yeah? Chad?

20:21 Drew Kyle, if that really gets infected, you've heard about the flesh-eating bacteria? Yeah. Okay, that can get going down there, and that can really be a catastrophe. So I suggest you take it out and see a doctor and get some antibiotics.

20:35 Adam And Kyle, we would talk to you more, but we don't want to.

20:39 Guest Just leave your schlong alone.

20:40 Adam Yeah.

20:41 Drew Yeah. This is the kind of guy that starts flaying the penis and stuff.

20:44 Adam Oh, really?

20:45 Drew Yeah.

20:46 Adam Kyle?

20:47 Drew Yep.

20:48 Adam You sound like you have a little bit of a personality disorder. Is that true?

20:54 Guest No.

20:54 Drew No.

20:55 Adam No. Are you just an a-hole or what's wrong with you?

20:57 Guest I am an a-hole, but...

20:59 Adam You are?

21:01 Well, yeah, but I've been wanting to do that for a while.

21:03 Adam All right. But let me just give an evil-like warning to all the 16-year-old male a-holes out there. Here's what happens. Let me explain. You kick a few asses, but you get your ass kicked the majority of the time in life.

21:19 Drew You know, I have to do some commenting on that Mary Kay Letourneau thing. Now, they want to go back together again. They're so in love. He's 21 now.

21:25 Adam This is the teacher that hooked up with a 13-year-old student.

21:29 Drew 12-year-old student.

21:30 Adam Well, 12, 13. It's a little gray area there. Yeah. Had herself. I had three or four kids, by the way.

21:37 Drew With him. Two with him. I had four beginning and two with him. Yeah.

21:43 Adam Let's just reset for a second. And, Drew, that was right in the middle of my a-hole speech, by the way.

21:48 Drew Well, I thought you liked to break into this thing.

21:49 Adam Okay. Well, why don't you wait till I'm done with my a-hole? I was telling kids to stay off the dope and not be a-holes.

21:54 Drew I see.

21:55 Adam Thank you, producer, Ann. She got me some water. Here's the thing. Mary Kay Letourneau is a semi-hot looking teacher who was getting it on with their 12, maybe 13-year-old student who's like, looks like some sort of like, he's, oh, he's like Samoan, but the guy just looks like a gangbanger. Well, it's hard when you're 12 or 13 to know, you know, you can go many different directions. So, she has the relationship with this kid. She's got three, four kids of her own and a husband. She, the kids and the husband moved to Alaska, by the way. That's what Alaska's for.

22:30 Drew That's what it's for.

22:31 Adam It's, it's like, it's-

22:32 Drew That's just, they've got a story. They get the end.

22:34 Adam Right.

22:35 Drew Right?

22:35 Adam Yeah. It's like people come into Alaska. It's like, why are you here? Old lady took a shot of me and then shot herself. All right, you're in. What are you in for? Meth lab, blew up, house on fire, I'm going to let the feds chase me. You're in. Run for mayor too. Wife had sex with a 12-year-old, Simone Gangbanger, I've got four kids. Okay, we're humiliated. We made all the papers in Michigan. Okay, you're in.

22:58 Guest Come on in.

22:58 Adam Come on in. And then once every fifth guy is just a bearded guy laughing.

23:03 Guest There's gold. Gold.

23:05 Adam Okay, all right, old man, get in. That's all Alaska is. I couldn't get in. Oh, you could get close. I might. I could get close. No, but if I wanted to get into Alaska, I'd be like, yeah, I'm moving to Alaska. Why are you here? I'm just kind of fed up with the LA scene. Well, I'm sorry. And I shot my wife and I'm on the line. Oh, okay. Okay, come on in. Come on in. Yeah, that's all of it.

23:26 Drew But they made me think of that because I have a feeling that if these two do get their selves back together again, the abuser, I suspect, will turn into the abusee. You know what I'm saying? That just because someone's been a victim doesn't mean they can't be a victimizer. And she, too, was a victimizer and now could easily become the victim.

23:43 Adam Well, thank Christ they had a bunch of kids. Well that's the beauty of the whole thing.

23:47 Drew But think about it. Here's an interesting question. Should they be allowed to get back together? I mean, they've both had kind of treatment, she's been treated to try to create a family for these kids?

23:55 Adam Yeah.

23:55 Drew Or a relationship?

23:57 Adam She's been in the joint for like five years.

23:59 Drew Seven and a half years.

24:00 Adam Seven and a half years. She wouldn't be in the joint except for she had a liaison with the kid and then they said, look, stay away from the kid and you can stay out. And she got back together with the kid like they caught her like two days later. Yeah. So it's all right. Now you're going in for seven and a half years. He's now 21. They say they're still in love. At this point, you guys are a mess and he's not a minor anymore and you guys got like three kids.

24:28 Guest I just, you know.

24:29 Drew To put her back with the perpetrator. You know where that's going to go. Where's that going? You tell me.

24:35 Adam They should go to Alaska.

24:36 Drew They should go to Alaska. But once they arrive there, where's that relationship going to go?

24:40 Adam Oh, look. I hope they help. Murder, suicide. I hope everyone. I hope it's one of these things where they just turn the gas off and somebody lights a cigarette two hours later and blows the thing up. By the way, is it that effective? I see it in every third movie where the guy does the thing, you know, where they do that thing where the guy's thinking fast so he pulls the gas line off the water heater and then he goes into the kitchen. He takes a piece of newspaper and he puts it in the toaster and he goes down and then they show him running from the house two minutes later and the whole thing just goes up and you huge fireball. I think, wow, that is that happened?

25:14 Drew That wouldn't happen.

25:14 Adam That happened every day. That happened.

25:16 Drew Right.

25:16 Guest Haven't you tested that out?

25:18 Adam I'm going to test that.

25:19 Drew Before he heads for Alaska.

25:20 Guest It's just kind of like one of those daily things.

25:21 Adam That should be an X game event. Like you blow up the house with natural gas. All right. Let's keep rocking.

25:29 Drew Keep going. Here we go.

25:29 Adam Let's go. We got to go now.

25:31 Drew Julie 26.

25:32 Adam What was I talking about with evil? Julie?

25:35 Yes?

25:36 Adam What's happening?

25:38 I'm calling because my husband has not been very respectful with me and I don't know how to teach him how to teach him. We can be out in public and he will grab my crotch, my bra, he'll put his hands on my pants and no matter what I say, he does it anyway. He thinks once we get married, my body belongs to him and he can do what he wants with it.

25:59 Drew He said that explicitly.

26:01 Adam Well, he's legally right. I mean, legally, he's in the right, but emotionally, it's probably not great. But in the eyes of the law, yes, he owns your vagina.

26:11 Drew I don't know what the laws are on sexual assault in marriage. There certainly are rape laws in marriage.

26:16 Adam Well, what do you mean he puts his hands down your pants when you're in public? How does that work?

26:21 He wants to grab my crotch and he'll do anything to do it and I try and... We have three kids, so I'm trying to double the baby and the only thing I can do is train him.

26:30 Adam So my parents hug once, I vomit it.

26:32 Drew I had a picture of vaginal prolapse.

26:33 Adam Couldn't imagine the crotch.

26:36 Drew I was going to bring it for you tomorrow.

26:38 Adam I got enough trouble beating off these days. I don't need to see the vagina that fell out of the vagina. No, I'm not looking. Show the ex-gamers.

26:47 Drew I don't have it with me. I'm going to bring it to Sunday. I meant to bring it. I forgot.

26:50 Adam Yeah, go ahead and forget again. Hey, Julie. So, I understand, again, you guys are in a shopping mall and he tries this or what?

27:01 We can meet him walking down the aisle in a grocery store.

27:04 Drew And don't people get upset with the behavior?

27:08 They don't pay much attention and it's more me that backs away from it because I do not like that. I think it's very disrespectful and it's teaching my young boys. My picture will come up and grab my breasts. He doesn't know that it's wrong and I tell him all the time and it doesn't work.

27:26 Adam Let's ask some questions. First off, why did you marry this retard?

27:29 He was not like us at all before we got married.

27:33 Adam Hold on a second. Everyone plays that thing. I just asked my grandma this question yesterday, by the way. Tell me about her first husband, all abusive. I go, why did you marry him? You know? I mean, listen, everybody. She said, you got another hour? And I said, no, actually, I got to go. Good. She knows I don't want to sit around very long. But I mean, but I mean, look, it's not your fault. But listen, ladies, guys don't just mysteriously turn, unless they have some sort of golf ball sized tumor on their brain, they don't just turn into different guys. It's not like, well, Drew was a great guy while we're dating. And then he turned to no homicidal rapist. You know, I thought I knew him. No, something's up. Obviously, this guy's an idiot. Yeah, I he probably wasn't pawing at you when you were courting. But still, you got to read people a little better than this. Julie. What's he do? Do some roofing or something?

28:27 He's a carpenter.

28:29 Adam Oh, I knew it. I could smell it on this guy. What kind of is just what's he do? Well, as he just builds houses, condos, commercial stuff, what's he do?

28:42 He builds enormous custom homes. We have our own business.

28:46 Adam You have your own business?

28:48 Yes, we do.

28:49 Caller All right.

28:49 Adam So he's a contractor?

28:51 Yes.

28:53 Adam And you work in the business too?

28:55 No, I actually work out of the house.

28:57 Caller I work.

28:58 I'm a waitress.

29:00 Adam And so the business is going great. And I don't understand, is he wants sex from you or is he just screwing with you?

29:10 No, actually our sex life is very good. We have sex all the time.

29:13 Drew Why don't you just hold that with...

29:15 Adam You gotta cut him off.

29:16 Drew You gotta cut him off. He'll immediately stop.

29:18 Adam That's your hostage.

29:20 Drew He will immediately stop.

29:21 I've tried that. I've tried going two weeks without it and it's the bitching and nagging every day that he wants it until finally I'll give in.

29:30 Drew Well, it's up to you. If you don't want to change the behavior.

29:33 Adam All right. Look, something's... You have to shame him or get his mom to call him and tell him to quit trying to finger blast you.

29:40 Drew It's bizarre that you can't stand up for yourself more firmly.

29:43 Adam Something's wrong. What happened? Did you ever get molested or anything? Yeah.

29:49 Drew Yeah. Okay.

29:52 Adam It started coming together.

29:53 Drew Yeah. You smack of somebody who's unable to come to her own defense, just unable. You just, you just, you feel that there's going to be retribution or abuse or you feel powerless or you feel frozen when it comes at you this way in the...

30:06 Adam By the way...

30:07 I think he's made me powerless.

30:10 Adam No.

30:10 Drew No. No.

30:11 Adam By the way, I think every... The way she describes it, too, something's up. There's some energy behind it.

30:18 Drew She experiences it in a certain way.

30:20 Adam He experiences it as maybe playfulness and she thinks she's being raped in the frozen food aisle of her grocer. All right.

30:28 Drew How old is the child, by the way, that grabs your breast?

30:33 My two-year-old does it as well.

30:35 Drew Two-year-old's supposed to do that, Julie.

30:37 Adam They are? Well, they're hungry, right?

30:40 Drew Hey, Julie. Julie. That is a normal behavior for two-year-old.

30:43 Adam Oh, Julie. Do me a favor. I know the guy's an idiot, but can you get some therapy or something for the rape and whatever kind of lifestyle got you into that and the family you grew up in? And now your kids, which you're going to screw up and they're going to turn out being rapists and everyone's going to be a disaster. Can you get some therapy?

31:02 I went through therapy for seven years.

31:04 Adam All right.

31:04 Let's go.

31:05 Adam Call us when you get to 10.

31:06 Drew Yeah. Get her back. Whoever that was you were saying, get back.

31:09 Adam See, if she said 10, that's a call when you get to 13.

31:11 Drew A source of support so you can actually set limits with your husband because you're not going to make it by yourself. You need someone to help you.

31:16 Adam She's going to screw those kids up.

31:18 Drew Well, she makes the six-year-old feel like he's raping her. That's why he's her son.

31:22 Guest Maybe convince the husband to go to therapy.

31:25 Drew Yeah, she's got my six-year-old, who has my breast.

31:27 Guest He doesn't want it.

31:28 Adam He's a carpenter, so forget it.

31:33 Guest Get him some mental help.

31:35 Adam Let's take a break. Let's regroup. I got to talk more about Evil Can Evil. Ronnie Renner is here tonight. Chad Kagy is here tonight. BMX, Motocross, X Games going on in Los Angeles as we speak all through this weekend. We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back. Hey, everybody. Loveline. I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew. We're talking buzzer versus a buzy a few seconds ago. And told them to modify it to a buzer. Yeah, phone number 1-800-L-A-V-E-1-9-1. We are talking a little X game tonight. Ronnie Renner's here tonight. Freestyle motocross, also Chad Kagy here, BMX. And a couple things. Now, they got the surf competition. But if the waves aren't that big, it's nothing. I mean, we don't really have waves, do we this time of year?

32:38 Drew What? Are you kidding? Any south-facing beach?

32:42 Adam Do we?

32:42 Drew Oh my god.

32:43 Adam I thought the swells didn't come in until we were toward the.

32:46 Drew All the storms off Baja.

32:47 Adam What storms off Baja?

32:49 Drew Like every week.

32:50 Adam All right. How was the swell today? Was it a good swell? Does anyone know?

32:53 Caller I was at Huntington last weekend, which is obviously not today. But it was like five footers coming in.

32:58 Drew Late August is the most open.

33:00 Adam Oh, really? Late August is time to go on the south-facing beaches. Oh, really? Peaks. Peaks. Not the winter time.

33:09 Drew I thought the winter time.

33:10 Adam Flat in the winter.

33:11 Drew Malibu breaks the winter.

33:12 Adam So you go the northern-facing beaches. It's just that big a difference just a few miles up the coast. Yeah? You know, you should use the thing where you shut your mouth and you lock it and you throw away the key. Next time I ask you a question.

33:25 Drew No, I mean, I need something more like the cartoon where you have an actual button.

33:29 Adam That's right. Drew fastens his mouth together. All right, so there are swells then. I didn't think there were swells. So if this was in December, they would do it in Malibu. Is that what we're saying? All right, or maybe Zuma. All right, so it's going on. It's going on this Friday, tomorrow. It's going on all day Saturday and then Sunday. Are they doing a street luge still?

33:56 Guest They dropped that a while ago.

33:57 Adam Oh, good.

33:58 Guest That's like in line.

33:59 Adam Yeah, I got the, I went to the San Francisco one about five, six years ago with Jimmy and we got hounded by a Lusjenstein.

34:09 Guest Sorry about that.

34:10 Caller See that guy everywhere.

34:11 Adam An entire time. Eight foot guy, the street luge. And by the way, you're a street, you lie in a mechanic's creeper and someone pushes you down a hill while you're in a leather suit.

34:21 Drew You go 75 miles an hour.

34:22 Adam All right, but you do it. You could do it. You couldn't, here's what I'm saying. The things that these guys do on the BMX bikes and the motorcycles, you can't do. Some of the stuff is just, like the street, right. The street luge stuff was kind of wavos. That was like, if you got big enough balls and thick enough leather, you can do it.

34:39 Guest Adam, wouldn't you jump on a skateboard and go down a hill before you jumped on a skateboard at 75 feet in the air and rolled into a ski jump?

34:46 Adam That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying. I would just lie down on that thing. I would get drunk. I would do what evil did, shot a wild turkey. Kids, stay off a dope and stay in school. And then I would just, by the way, evil is great because evil like attack guys with baseball bats and stuff like that. But anyway, the kids need to stay off the dope. I would lie down on that thing and just coast down the hill, yes. I'd be scared to death, but I wouldn't kill myself. The hill would kill me. If you put me on the ramp, I would kill myself. You see what I'm saying, the difference?

35:17 Drew Subtle distinction, but yeah.

35:18 Adam Subtle difference, yeah. And it takes skill, it takes crazy skill to do that.

35:22 Guest It takes skill to kill yourself.

35:24 Adam To do it.

35:24 Guest On the ramp, let's go.

35:25 Adam To do it when you're 30 feet in the air.

35:27 Caller To do it right.

35:28 Adam Yeah, I would just hit a telephone pole or park car and just end it.

35:31 Drew Matt 16.

35:32 Adam I did the luge head first so I could get it over with. Matt?

35:36 Yeah.

35:36 Adam What's up?

35:38 Oh, not much, how you guys doing?

35:39 Adam Doing good.

35:42 Oh, okay. My question is, you know, I've been masturbating and when I ejaculate, I kinda keep it in. And I'm just kinda curious if that's good or bad.

35:52 Drew Are you pushing on your perineum so it goes up in your bladder or what are you doing?

35:56 I'm not sure what that is, but yeah, maybe that.

36:00 Drew How do you keep it in?

36:00 Adam You can't ejaculate and keep it in, can you?

36:03 Drew You mean hold it in, like physically hold it in?

36:07 Adam It's like saying I farted but I swallowed it.

36:10 Drew Right.

36:11 Adam I mean, nothing coming out, it's not a fart. That's gas. Right. That's gurgling in the stomach.

36:17 Caller I'll have to answer for this in five minutes.

36:19 Adam Let me lay it out there. Yeah, see what we can do. Yeah, I say you can have an orgasm, but I don't call it ejaculating unless you mess up the ham.

36:28 Drew No, that's right, but the fact is though, he's able to hold it in. Yes. And the question is how?

36:33 Adam Yeah, well, it puts pressure on his zone there.

36:36 Drew How do you hold it in?

36:38 Just like kind of squeeze it in.

36:39 Drew Where do you squeeze?

36:41 At the very tip. Ooh, ooh.

36:43 Drew Yeah. I knew it was something different about this guy.

36:46 Eee.

36:47 Drew Yeah, why don't you stop doing that?

36:48 All right.

36:49 Drew Yeah, it's gonna mess with your prostate a little bit.

36:53 Adam All right, and Matt?

36:54 Yeah.

36:54 Adam Yeah, a couple things. Don't hold your hand over an open flame. Don't bang your head in the car doors and things like that. Yeah, if you're gonna sneeze, don't block up both nostrils and blow your ears out.

37:07 Guest I just don't get it, why?

37:09 Adam Yeah, why would you do it? If you gotta go number two, you can't cork yourself up down there. You gotta let it out.

37:15 Guest Release is good.

37:16 Adam Yeah, why grab it?

37:18 I think it's just cause, you know, I don't wanna like, maybe I don't have anything there at the moment to, you know, I don't know.

37:25 Drew Go ahead and plan ahead, Matt.

37:28 Adam Sneak up on yourself?

37:28 Caller Measure it, go for distance, dude. Have fun with it.

37:31 Drew Manual rape.

37:32 Adam Matt's like watching TV in a Victoria's Secret bra. Ad comes on, all of a sudden he sneezes hands on his thigh.

37:39 Drew Hey, hey, hey, cut it out.

37:40 Adam Hey, fresh, not bad. All of a sudden it slides down before you know it. Oh, no, stop, no, no, don't stop. Really, you just surprise yourself? You just sneak up on your own junk with your own hand? Go sneak up on some Kleenex, you idiot. I plan my, you want to see my beat off calendar, Drew?

37:58 Drew Please, I do.

37:59 Adam I already got, I'm as far as December 2006. I got some booked up.

38:05 Drew I'm all planned out. And you've got the napkins for each event.

38:08 Adam I got the lade, I got lube, I got napkins, I got extra VCR and double A batteries. It's all planned out. Camping flashlight.

38:16 Drew Generator case.

38:16 Adam Water purification. I mean, it's all there, canned food. It's all laid out and it's all out in advance. It's all separate Tupperware containers all over the house.

38:24 Drew You can't break your stride.

38:27 Adam He doesn't know. And by, isn't it painful and distracting and weird, too? And does it eliminate the mess if you just sort of bust a pencil off in the end of your dick at the end?

38:38 Drew It just seems like it's gotta seep out later.

38:39 Adam Yeah, I mean, you're just grabbing it at the end. It's like saying, well, I was gonna make a number two, but I avoided the mess by putting my hand under it. Yeah, and it's still kind of something to deal with there? Nothing? It's just bone dry after you pinch it off? All right, our callers disgust me, Drew. Megan?

39:04 Caller Yeah.

39:05 Adam You're 27?

39:07 Caller Yeah.

39:07 Adam All right, hold on. I got a question for the guests. Jason?

39:11 Caller Yeah.

39:11 Adam You're 20?

39:12 Caller Yep.

39:12 Adam You have a question for the guys?

39:14 Yeah, I was just, I had a question about the rollerblading. Apparently, they had taken it out or they're not gonna air it or something on the X Games. And I was just wondering their opinion and how we could actually get it back on or what?

39:29 Guest Well, the deal is right now that the inline industry is going downhill very, very fast. And the only thing that's really got any spectator quality to it is the vert. You know, you got the two Yasutoko brothers going 13 feet high. Everyone else goes six feet high. It's really not that impressive.

39:48 Adam So they're doing the half pipe.

39:49 Guest Yeah, the vert ramp.

39:50 Adam Yeah, the vert ramp.

39:51 Guest The street stuff is usually, I mean, the last few years it's been a bunch of 12 year olds with their pants around their ankles talking a bunch of smack and nobody wants to deal with them.

40:00 Adam Wow.

40:01 Caller I think since Arlo Eisenberg left the game it's been downhill.

40:05 Yeah, but I heard that there was actually a bunch of people like Brian Schema and Chris Farmer that actually qualified for this year and they're just not gonna hold it.

40:13 Guest As far as I know, they are gonna have inline vert and I didn't even check the schedule to see if they were gonna air that or if it was gonna be live.

40:22 Adam Yeah, the vert thing's pretty hairy with the inlines. It seems to me, I mean, it doesn't look as cool as the BMX or the skateboard, but it seems hairy.

40:34 Guest You know what? If you watch those two Asian kids, the Yasutoko brothers, it's insane.

40:39 Adam What do they do? I haven't seen them.

40:40 Guest They're now spinning three times. They're doing double back flips with 180 in it, landing forward again.

40:46 Adam Really?

40:47 Guest They're going twice as high as every other in-liner that's there. Really? It doesn't make any sense why they're half the size and go twice as high. How come the Australian kids and US kids can't do it too?

40:57 Adam Well, let me tell you about them Asians. They're crafty that way.

41:00 Guest They're sneaky.

41:01 Adam They're very sneaky. Yeah, I call it crafty, you call it sneaky. We both know what we're talking about. Drew, whenever I use crafty, you should hear sneaky.

41:09 Drew I translated a few words, yeah.

41:11 Adam You know what I'm saying? Yeah.

41:12 Drew There's certainly a devious quality, too, that crafty when you use it.

41:15 Adam You gotta watch out for them Asian inliners. Eventually, they're all just gonna be on inline skates and that's how they're gonna take over.

41:22 Guest That was Chris, right?

41:23 Adam Just buzzed by.

41:24 Guest Is he still there?

41:25 Adam Oh, Jason? Yeah, hold on a second. Yeah, Jason, there we go.

41:30 Guest Jason, I'd say the best bet for getting that back in, once the industry starts picking up again, if you're an inliner, take yourself and the other inliners and make yourselves more professional instead of dropping your pants around your ankles and calling everybody names. I mean, not everybody's like that. I have a lot of friends that are inline.

41:49 It's just a lot of my friends are, too.

41:51 Guest I mean, it's a big fad to do one thing or another, but when it comes right down to it, if you're that big of a hassle, ESPN is not gonna wanna deal with you for that.

41:59 Adam Are they painting the ass, the inliners?

42:01 Guest Not all of them. You can't generalize like that.

42:04 Adam I do all night.

42:05 Guest You can.

42:05 Adam You should hear me.

42:06 Guest This is your job.

42:07 Adam Yeah, I'll tell you some other nationalities that are crafty, too. I got a whole list of them, Drew.

42:13 Caller I think roller skating should come back, like X Games.

42:16 Adam You've just four wheelers?

42:17 Guest Four wheelers.

42:18 Caller All right, we're gonna flip it around backwards. Next up, all skate.

42:22 Guest Have you ever seen a guy roller skate? He's got the four wheeler roller skates. Stance is like a frog. One point in each direction, and he rides a vert ramp and goes like six feet out.

42:32 Adam Oh, really?

42:32 Guest Yeah, it's insane looking.

42:33 Caller That's hot.

42:34 Adam Yeah, I like when they would just, Drew, remember you'd put on your dolphin shorts, you'd do that crossover with the cones down in Venice Beach.

42:41 Drew Carry a boombox in your shoulder.

42:43 Guest Did you have fluorescent spandex on?

42:45 Drew It was silver.

42:46 Adam Yeah, so the one is silver fluorescent. Yeah, it wasn't green or orange or anything. All right, we're gonna take ourselves a little break. She's hot and she's British. You can't get a guy, why not?

42:57 Drew Talk to her real quick.

42:59 Adam Megan?

43:01 Caller Yeah.

43:01 Adam You're hot and you're British?

43:04 I am.

43:06 Adam What's hot about you?

43:07 What's hot?

43:08 Caller Yes.

43:09 Guest Probably not the teeth.

43:10 Adam Yeah, what's hot?

43:12 Drew Brutal.

43:13 Caller I'm 5'6, I weigh about 118 pounds and I'm British.

43:19 Adam Yeah, I like the accent.

43:21 Guest I'm British.

43:22 Adam Oh, you're British, all right.

43:23 Drew Why'd you say so?

43:25 Adam Yeah, I've been to England, by the way. Not everyone's hot there. Not everyone, it was not morbidly obese, is hot. You understand? But you're hot, right?

43:35 Caller Yeah, absolutely.

43:36 Adam All right, and what do you do for a living?

43:39 Caller I'm an accountant.

43:41 Drew Very hot.

43:42 Adam And you don't have guys hitting on you all the time?

43:45 Caller Well, I do, but nobody wants to follow through.

43:48 Drew What does that mean?

43:49 Guest Follow through where?

43:50 Caller Follow through to, we're not on air, right?

43:54 Adam No, we are.

43:59 Caller You know.

44:00 Guest They did call the radio.

44:03 Adam They don't want to have sex?

44:05 Caller No.

44:05 Adam All right, hold on.

44:06 Drew Something's wrong.

44:07 Adam Something's wrong. Yeah, the Spidey sense is tingling.

44:10 Drew What the what? Is that even possible?

44:11 Adam The 26 year old hot chick, hot accent, five, six, seven, 18.

44:14 Guest She's lying.

44:16 Adam Something's wrong.

44:17 Drew Maybe she's working around some sort of nuclear power plant with the men of an old Unicoid.

44:21 Guest Does she have three eyes?

44:23 Adam Yeah, yeah, there's something going on. We'll get to the bottom of it. Talking to X Games tonight with Ronnie Renner and Chad Kagy, BMX and Motocross. We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back.

44:38 Caller Hello, this is your radio.

44:41 Guest Short one, the short one's 35.

44:43 Adam What thing is the gap?

44:45 Guest You go far enough.

44:50 Caller Three, two, one.

44:52 Adam Hey, buddy, it's the Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. Phone number, 1-800-LOVE-191, Ronnie Renner, Chad Kagy, both here tonight talking X Games out here in Los Angeles, Motocross, BMX. It's really getting hairy this year, just talking off the air about the huge takeoff and landing ramp for the skateboarders. There's a, and one of the newer things in skateboarding is that sort of long distance ramp to ramp stuff that wasn't around 10 years ago. Where they're going off these long takeoffs and they're going for these like distance records on skateboards. Like who the hell thought you'd be jumping skateboards off of anything that occurs?

45:35 Guest The length of motocross jumps on four wheels that are about an inch and a half tall.

45:40 Adam Yeah, I don't know what the record is. 80 feet, 100 feet or something.

45:44 Guest On a skateboard?

45:45 Adam Well, yeah, maybe not 100 feet. But there, I saw a thing on it about three years ago. I don't know who was doing it, just super long takeoff. And then they just sail. They just sail through the air for 50, 60 feet. And then they land on the other side.

45:58 Drew I guess at one time people went, who? They get on skis and jump on four yards.

46:05 Adam I know, but I feel like a founding father. What kind of folly is this that a young man would mount himself atop a piece of wood with four wheels and launch himself into yonder? What sort of foolish folly, Drew, yes?

46:23 Caller Yes.

46:23 Adam Yes.

46:24 Caller Come on, Sonic.

46:25 Adam All right. All right.

46:26 Caller It's entertainment.

46:27 Adam It is entertainment. And I don't know where it ends.

46:31 Guest Who knows?

46:33 Adam Or does it? It's got to slow down a little bit.

46:37 Guest It's just been going crazy lately.

46:39 Adam Yeah. I mean, they just watch that. What is it? Dogtown Z Boys and Dog Boys and Z Guy. What's that documentary? Do you see that?

46:48 Guest Dogtown and Z Boys.

46:49 Adam Yeah. That Dogtown documentary. That's a great documentary. It's really about skateboarding, how it got started in Southern California. It was going strong in the 60s and then just sort of fell apart and it wasn't around anymore. Then this whole Urethane Wheel thing came out in the mid-70s and it started out here in Santa Monica and they were skating pools and Tony Alvin, all that kind of stuff. But you do a documentary about anything, it's good. Really?

47:19 Drew It's history.

47:19 Adam Yeah. I'd do a documentary called Donkey Stairs in the Mirror. I'd watch it for like two hours. I got to rewind this part. Look at him. There's a fly lands on him. He does that weird fur shiver thing. Watch it in slow motion. It's cool. It just does nothing. I watch that thing. I couldn't switch a channel. I've never been on a skateboard in my life. It was a good documentary though.

47:44 Drew Let's figure out, Megan, come on, come on. We've got a couple minutes here.

47:47 Adam We've got a couple minutes. Let me tell you a cool part of the documentary. Rich guy's got a huge swimming pool, right? Got a kid that's got like terminal cancer. He's gonna die in like four months. The kid convinces his dad to drain this big Olympic sized swimming pool so all these guys can come over and skate it all day unmolested because they would skate all these pools and get thrown out before so the kid's dying wish is just to sit there in his wheelchair and watch these guys tear up his dad's pool. Megan?

48:23 Drew Great story.

48:24 Adam Yeah.

48:24 Drew Glad you shared that one.

48:25 Adam You wouldn't do it, Drew. You'd be like, yeah, I'm gonna have to get the coping refaced. I'll see you in Hell, Junior. Megan? You're 27?

48:35 Caller 27.

48:37 Adam Yeah. So you're hot and you're British.

48:40 Caller Yes.

48:40 Drew And you're an accountant. Yes.

48:44 Adam Megan? Yes. Drew and I, hold on a second. Drew and I were trying to figure out in the bathroom why guys don't want to have sex with you.

48:51 Drew Well, let's say that a little differently. We went to the bathroom and while in the bathroom.

48:54 Adam While I was going to the bathroom on Drew, while I was leaving a little present on his chest, he said, I don't understand it, we're trying to figure out what was wrong with Megan and I said, she's probably hot but chick hot, chicks think you're cute.

49:10 Caller Oh my god, they do.

49:12 Adam Yeah. Okay, let me explain what chick hot is. Chick hot versus dude hot. First off, you can't be too hot because if you're really hot, you'd be dude hot and chicks would hate you. Chicks like you just hot enough for them to say you're hot but not hot enough so that their boyfriend is into you. Alright, now.

49:30 Caller I don't know, because it's only gay girls who think I'm hot.

49:33 Adam Hmm, it's still, I'm still going chick hot on this. Here's what chick hot, I described to Drew. Chick hot is not fat but not a great knockout body, usually a little modestly chested and nice skin but sort of put together a little bit crooked, like eyes are too wide, too far apart.

49:51 Drew That one's still.

49:52 Caller Oh my god, no they're not.

49:53 Adam Is that you? You have nice skin? No, you have bad skin?

49:58 Caller No, I have great skin but my eyes are perfect.

50:00 Adam Well, that's what you think because you've been listening to those checks.

50:03 Drew What do you think the problem is then, Megan?

50:05 Adam What's your cup size? Oh.

50:08 Caller All right, email us some nude pictures over and we'll keep you on hold for a little bit.

50:13 Drew Megan, what do you think the problem is? Megan?

50:16 Caller What do I think the problem is? I have no idea. I wouldn't be on the phone right now.

50:22 Drew How long have you been in this country?

50:24 Caller Three years.

50:25 Drew Why are you here?

50:27 Caller Why? It seemed like a good idea at the time.

50:36 Adam There is something sort of missing from this call.

50:39 Drew Yes.

50:40 Adam Yeah, Megan, it's not really adding up.

50:43 Caller Some girls play games, too, I've noticed.

50:46 Adam Are you too picky, maybe?

50:49 Caller Not at all. You know, I'm like reaching that age where I'm just coiny all the time.

50:54 Drew There's bogus.

50:56 Adam Drew doesn't believe it. Drew's a man of passion, and unless there's something wrong with you. Yeah. Megan, are you making this up?

51:04 Caller No, not at all. All right.

51:06 Adam Well, then, okay, here's the thing. Maybe it's just horrible timing. Maybe she's passing the right guy at the wrong time. The elevator door just closed when she walked in.

51:18 Drew Here's what doesn't make sense. That the guys wouldn't want to close with her. So she must not be allowing them.

51:26 Guest That doesn't make sense, guys are gonna follow through.

51:28 Drew That's what I'm saying. So she must not be allowing them.

51:30 Guest There's something wrong there, right?

51:32 Caller They're not following through.

51:34 Adam But what are you doing? Hygiene, maybe? Yeah, what are you doing?

51:39 Caller What am I doing? I don't know.

51:43 Adam Who's the last guy you went out with? Did you go on a few dates with him?

51:47 Caller Yeah.

51:48 Guest You didn't try to have sex?

51:51 Caller We got like so close and then nothing.

51:55 Guest Yeah, but what's so close?

51:57 Adam Oral sex?

51:59 Caller Not quite.

52:00 Adam All right.

52:00 Guest Well, that's not so close.

52:01 Adam All right, here's, I don't know what the answer is to this. You're 27, you got British accent, you're hot, don't worry. There's penis in your future. I got hairy ass, I'm ugly and there's penis in my future.

52:15 Drew Yeah, but it's a vagina.

52:16 Adam No, no, no. Ronnie, Chad, here tonight, X Games, take a quick break. We'll be right back.

52:23 Caller All right, guys, here's the deal.

52:25 Guest Looking to hook up, call the...

52:45 Adam Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Ronnie Renner's here, Chad Kagy here. Motocross, BMX, X Games. Just found out that engineer Chris was in the audience for a man show taping of like season three. That's right. I knew the kid was a huge fan.

53:08 Guest But I didn't know he was that big a fan.

53:11 Drew I just saw his brother today at Starbucks.

53:13 Guest Oh, really?

53:15 Drew He said, yeah, he said that Chris is getting a little bit of a self-esteem issue.

53:18 Adam Oh, really?

53:19 Drew Yeah, I've been worked by Adam all the time.

53:20 Adam Really? Started to bother him?

53:23 Drew Yeah, be a problem.

53:25 Adam Maybe she should drop out of junior college. Move out of the house. That would help the self-esteem.

53:31 Caller All right, all right.

53:33 Adam I'm saying I could tell you all the, no matter what I do to you, it could never be as bad as junior college in your mind. That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying. You see what I'm saying, Drew? I could go the other way, too.

53:45 Drew Yeah, yeah.

53:46 Adam I could say, never, this guy, never seen a better looking guy, never seen a smarter guy, never seen a bigger bulge and a pair of Levi's, but it would all be nullified by the junior college and living at home.

53:57 Drew So you're just bringing along. You're bringing them up.

53:59 Adam You know what I call it? I call it tough luck.

54:00 Drew Yeah, that's right.

54:01 Adam I'm goosing them a little bit. Good times. I'm trying to stoke the fire under you, brother.

54:05 Guest Anyways, thanks for the Sam Adams at the Man Show.

54:09 Adam Didn't know, had no idea. We'd serve good beer at the Man Show, by the way, but I had no idea that engineer Chris was actually in the audience. I didn't know. I knew it was him.

54:17 Drew His affection for you, Chris, is growing rapidly.

54:19 Adam I know, I knew it was a huge fan. I mean, remember the time I asked him what he learned about the radio from watching The Master at work?

54:26 Drew Yeah, I believe he said, no preparation.

54:29 Adam No preparation and...

54:31 Caller Lots of masturbation.

54:33 Adam Gotta make beat-off jokes, and you make a lot of money and no one can fire you.

54:40 Drew That's what I said.

54:42 Adam What were your beats? What were your main beats?

54:44 Drew Don't look anything up on the internet.

54:46 Adam Don't study anything.

54:48 Drew No preparation.

54:48 Adam No preparation.

54:50 Drew But he specifically said the internet, remember?

54:52 Adam Yeah, don't mess with the internet.

54:53 Guest No, come five minutes before.

54:55 Adam Five minutes before.

54:55 Drew Before the show starts.

54:56 Adam Before the show starts, right?

54:58 Guest What else?

54:59 Drew And that's it. That's it, basically.

55:00 Adam That's who you know? That was Lawrence Beats.

55:04 Caller Talk about coffee and cars.

55:06 Adam Oh yeah.

55:06 Drew No, no, no. You weren't even that specific.

55:08 Adam No, but it was good. Let's focus here. Let's get the show back on track. All right, so did you get some free coffee from Chris' brother at the Starbucks?

55:17 Drew No, I bought some coffee from Chris.

55:18 Adam Really? Didn't give it?

55:19 Drew No.

55:20 Adam Interesting. Let's move forward and speak to Sophie who's 19. Sophie?

55:28 Hi.

55:28 Adam What's happening?

55:30 Not too much, really.

55:32 Adam All right. What's going on? Here we go now.

55:34 Drew Break it down.

55:35 Adam Break it down.

55:36 Well, I guess I've been seeing this Mormon. He lives in Arizona. He came up to Oregon for a visit and I met him at college. And we had a breakup to where he said that he couldn't talk to me and couldn't have anything to do with me.

55:52 Drew Why?

55:53 Ever again. Because he was going on his mission. He was getting ready to go on his mission.

55:57 Drew Is that, he's Mormon?

55:59 Uh-huh.

55:59 Drew And you're not Mormon?

56:01 I'm not Mormon.

56:02 Drew Could that maybe be the issue more than his mission?

56:04 Adam Yeah, either way, he's out of the picture. He's on a bicycle somewhere, spreading the good news.

56:09 Well, no, he hasn't gone on his mission yet. He ended up like two weeks later calling me and saying, oh, Sophie, you have to talk to me and everything.

56:17 Caller He wasn't going to put out anyways, better off without him.

56:21 Adam Did you have sex with him?

56:23 Well, no, because he was only here for a week, but.

56:28 Drew Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, you've only, wait, what's what about? You've only known him for a week?

56:33 No, I've been talking to him for like nine months, but he was only in Oregon for about a week.

56:39 Drew So you've only been face to face with him for a week?

56:41 Yes.

56:42 Guest And you broke up about it for some reason?

56:44 Drew Wait a minute, this is an internet relationship or something?

56:47 No, huh?

56:48 Drew Are you following this?

56:50 Adam I stopped listening on Tuesday, actually. I started tuning out on Tuesday.

56:53 Drew You guys had a.

56:54 Adam I'm winding down, I'm heading toward the weekend.

56:56 Drew You never had a face-to-face relationship?

57:00 For a week I did, and then he went back to Arizona.

57:04 Caller I was over it at Mormon.

57:06 Adam Yeah, I was too. Here's the thing, Sophie. All right, hold on, we gotta talk about Sophie behind her back for a second.

57:14 Drew So Sophie's making something out of nothing.

57:16 Adam This is the work of a heavyset gal. This is no hot chick. She's gonna put up some guy wearing a starch collar on a bicycle that's going on a mission, is that calling the internet. It's like she can find a wheelchair or something. Pictures like waiting for the Meals on Wheels van to pull up every day at noon. First off, if you're 19 and you're a chick, you gotta date guys in the community. It's only fair to those guys. You know what I mean?

57:45 Guest At least in the area code.

57:46 Adam That's right. Sophie, is something up with you?

57:50 No.

57:51 Adam How much do you weigh?

57:52 About 140.

57:56 Adam How tall are you?

57:58 5'7.

57:59 Adam All right, let me do the radio math. You said about 140?

58:02 Caller So that's like 175?

58:03 Drew That's a multiplier on radio.

58:04 Adam Yeah, I gotta bring the two around. Drew, what's two times three?

58:08 Drew Six.

58:09 Adam Six. One plus seven?

58:12 Drew Eight.

58:12 Adam Eight, okay, and two times five. I got five, five and 13 sixteenths, 166. Yeah, so it's a little bit healthy.

58:28 Caller No, no, no, no.

58:30 Adam Sophie, what's up, baby doll? You can't find out you're 19, there's nothing wrong with you, you're in Oregon. What's going on? What's wrong with the self-esteem? Why are you cruising the internet like an old pedophile to try to meet a man?

58:40 Caller I wasn't cruising the internet.

58:42 Drew Why can't you have a real relationship? Why can't you have somebody who's actually in your life?

58:47 Caller I've had real relationships and they've all just gone downhill.

58:52 Adam Yeah, well, that's what they do when you're 19. But anyway, okay, here's the thing. The guy's going on a mission. I don't know where he's going. It's crazy. It's like you could be going to Mozambique, you could be going to Van Nuys. It's like, who knows? Really?

59:07 Caller On a 10 speed.

59:08 Adam Yeah, they're all over the place. And sometimes they're in crazy little impoverished villages next to the equator, and then other times you're heading to St. Louis. I don't know how that works.

59:19 Drew I don't either. But I saw the best South Park about more minutes than yesterday.

59:24 Adam I'm going to jump around. Sophie, forget this guy. He's on a mission and your mission is to date guys who live within five miles of your mom's apartment.

59:33 Drew Yeah, in your zip code.

59:35 Adam In your zip code.

59:36 Drew At least your phone area code.

59:38 Adam Right. All right. Where are you? Are you living at home? Are you going to college? What are you doing?

59:43 Caller I'm living at home, going to college.

59:45 Drew College?

59:46 Adam A junior college? Junior college?

59:48 Caller Uh-huh.

59:48 Adam Oh, really? Okay, see if you can-

59:51 Guest Chris, we got a junior college.

59:52 Adam Yeah, she's ten years younger than Chris is. See if you can pry yourself from that quicksand known as junior college before you grow old there like my mom did. All right?

1:00:03 Caller Well, it's cheaper than going to a university.

1:00:05 Drew Yeah, but-

1:00:06 Adam I know.

1:00:06 Drew Transfer over.

1:00:07 Adam Let me explain. Standing on the porch of your mom's house and hitting yourself on the head with a frying pan is free. You get a better education. You understand? That's nothing. That's not even eight dollars a unit. You understand? Just sitting in the basement and huffing copier toner is free. All non-education is free. People do that all the time. They're like, hey, junior college, it's cheap. Of course it's cheap. You can have your dog tutor you for free. It's cheap because you don't get anything. It's nothing. You just have a bunch of stoners and a snack shack and a hacky sack and a bunch of old people waiting to die.

1:00:42 Guest Tree-hugging hippies on their 16th semester.

1:00:44 Adam That's right. That's right. Get out of there, buddy. Radio is your future. Do you understand me? Radio. You're not going to learn anything about radio in junior college. There's nothing going on over there. Right. All right, buddy. See that? See the way he talked to the mic? He would have done that before.

1:00:58 Drew Yeah, he's really stepping up.

1:01:01 Guest I'm working on it. I'm working on it.

1:01:04 Adam All right, I like the old Chris. I miss the old Chris. Sit back down. Where's the old low self-esteem Chris? Come on, we got to get some more coffee going here, Tim. Michelle?

1:01:14 Yeah.

1:01:14 Adam You're 20?

1:01:16 Caller Yep.

1:01:16 Adam What's up?

1:01:18 Caller Okay. This was a few weeks ago, and this is really embarrassing. Please try not to make fun of me. I hooked up with this guy and we were using protection, and we were both a little tipsy and we like lost it, couldn't find it.

1:01:38 Drew That actually happens all the time.

1:01:40 Caller Shoot and pull with a rope.

1:01:42 Caller So we stopped and looked everywhere for it, like-

1:01:46 Adam You're looking for the condom?

1:01:48 Caller Yeah.

1:01:50 Adam Hold on. Drew, Drew, you're reading the screen, gay balls. Do you see?

1:01:54 Drew She said we used protection and we lost it.

1:01:56 Adam No. Everyone else who was listening thought lost the hard on. That's her. You just read condom. Yes. Yes. Yes. You lost the condom. Go ahead.

1:02:07 Caller So we looked for it everywhere. Couldn't find it and then stopped and I like finished them off orally and...

1:02:16 Adam That's a trooper by the way.

1:02:17 Caller Yeah.

1:02:17 Adam I know. Let's take a break there.

1:02:21 Caller That's what I'm talking about. That's a good girl.

1:02:23 Adam Yeah. Not everyone would do that. People would be freaked out. Where's the condom? No BJ until we find the condom. In that case, I have to produce a soiled condom, which I always keep with me. So anyway. Drop it at my pant leg. Shake my leg. There it is.

1:02:38 Caller I have a friend that actually found a from someone else while he was inside. Well, he was had a little finger, you know, found a little found a little souvenir.

1:02:54 Guest I mean, I also think he framed it inside a woman, only a motocross.

1:02:58 Caller He was a BMXer.

1:03:01 Adam I know someone who was doing a little cheating on their boyfriend and the boyfriend found the remnants of the condom of the guy they were cheating with. That's a tough one to explain away. Like you know, the pager going off with the weird phone number on it, the guy doesn't recognize or maybe a little lipstick on the collar kind of thing. That but the the remains of the condom in the vagina that you never the condom brand you don't use.

1:03:26 Drew You don't use condoms.

1:03:27 Adam You don't use condoms. That's a tough one. Yeah.

1:03:30 Guest Explain that.

1:03:34 Drew I sat on it. All right.

1:03:37 Adam So all right. So so you finished him off so he could focus and then you continued looking for the condom.

1:03:50 Caller Call it.

1:03:50 Adam Oh, well, by the way, I'm sure he was ready to pack it in at that point. Yeah. Good luck looking for that condom.

1:03:56 Drew I'm sure it was turned up somewhere.

1:03:58 Caller I did try to look for that condom. Like in me.

1:04:04 Adam You got to look within sometimes.

1:04:06 Caller I didn't like feel anything. But then like two days later, it found its way out.

1:04:12 Drew Out it came.

1:04:13 Adam All right.

1:04:13 Caller Yeah.

1:04:19 Drew Well, when it's in, there's some risk of toxic shock. So it's good that it's out. And pregnancy risks are really when somebody has already ejaculated in the condom and it comes off. That's when the real risk occurs. The sort of few seconds of penetration without a condom, not likely to result in a pregnancy.

1:04:38 Adam The condom itself doesn't have any material.

1:04:41 Guest I kind of figured since you had to finish them off after the fact anyway, probably.

1:04:44 Drew Right. Yeah.

1:04:45 Guest Not happening twice real quick there. Right.

1:04:47 Drew She's, I think, worried about pre-cum kind of thing, pre-ejaculation.

1:04:50 Adam I think it's just the idea that there's a condom in there is spooky and it makes it yucky. It's yucky and it makes it, I can see where it sort of emotionally makes you feel like you might have a pregnancy scare, but if there's nothing in it, there's nothing in it.

1:05:04 Drew Are you sure he didn't ejaculate before it slipped off?

1:05:09 Adam I'll tell you what, he wouldn't have been lobbying for the BJ and he wouldn't have been looking for the condom. He would have done that dealer thing, they do it blackjack. Thank you, ladies. Yeah. I'm out of here. Oh, tip. Thank you. Thank you very generous.

1:05:21 Drew On the other hand, if he had just ejaculated, had a little break while they were looking for the condom and she offered, he wouldn't have turned it down.

1:05:26 Adam He wouldn't have looked for the condom, though. If it had just got out, he would have left.

1:05:31 Caller I think that he might have already went one time.

1:05:34 Adam Oh, really?

1:05:35 Caller That's why the thing would have came off.

1:05:36 Drew He blew it off. See, that's why. Well, no, there's more slippery wind. That's why I was going down that path. They're more likely to come off after ejaculation.

1:05:44 Adam Michelle?

1:05:45 Drew Yeah?

1:05:46 Adam Who is this guy? Do you know him?

1:05:50 Drew Acquaintances. Oh, that explains. We'll use these right now.

1:05:53 Adam Acquaintances. Are you going to see him again?

1:05:55 Caller I really don't know. I haven't seen him since.

1:06:00 Drew How long ago did this happen?

1:06:04 Adam And where were you? Do you want to see the guy again or just get loaded and hook up with him in a party?

1:06:10 Caller Yeah, we had hooked up like previously, months in the past and just hadn't seen each other in a while and it really isn't a frequent thing.

1:06:21 Adam Do you have a boyfriend or something? You're not into the guy at all?

1:06:26 Caller Not really.

1:06:27 Caller Is he a good father figure?

1:06:31 Adam What? I understand you have no feelings for the guy. You just have random sex with him every few weeks or months and nothing?

1:06:40 Caller We've been friends. We're like good when we see each other but we don't really keep in touch well. So sometimes we hang out and sometimes that happens.

1:06:49 Adam I get the part where you have the random sex on occasion. I just...

1:06:53 Caller No attachment. No desire for a relationship.

1:06:56 Drew No desire for one. You definitely don't want him to be in a relationship with you.

1:06:58 Adam Why not?

1:07:01 Caller I had a really... not bad but a really long term relationship and haven't really wanted to be in one since.

1:07:10 Adam Good luck.

1:07:10 Drew Good times.

1:07:12 Adam All right. So you found that condom. You're probably not pregnant.

1:07:15 Drew Mazel tov.

1:07:16 Adam You can usually... you know that game at the arcade where you shoot the squirt gun into the clown's mouth and that the balloon goes off?

1:07:24 Drew Oh my God.

1:07:26 Adam If I whiz in your mouth...

1:07:28 Drew My hand will explode?

1:07:29 Adam No. I'll find the condom.

1:07:30 Drew Oh, I see. Look at the vagina.

1:07:32 Adam I'm telling you, Drew. I'm telling you. You may be a doctor, but I'm telling you, I've done this. And it works.

1:07:39 Drew Yep. Can you use it as a hose? A happy pee?

1:07:43 Adam I've only done it with a pee. I guess you could use a water pick or something.

1:07:48 Drew You could use the gun from the arcade.

1:07:50 Adam I guess you could use it.

1:07:51 Guest Yeah, you could use a gun.

1:07:52 Adam But if I got a pee and you got to find a condom, let's just kill two birds with one stone. I'm saying, Drew, I know it doesn't make sense physiologically or medically.

1:08:02 Caller I'm getting bad visual here. Can we get an X color?

1:08:05 Adam I'm just saying, if you got a lost condom, you come to me with a six pack, we'll get that condom back. And it'll be fun too. And the bell will go off if I do it good enough. And we'll beat that kid to the right of us. Let's say you got to beat that kid. Yeah, just, it's a bell's ringing the whole time. I'm ringing the bell. I'm ringing the bell and just whizzing away.

1:08:23 Guest Is it the first one that breaks?

1:08:26 Adam Yeah, yeah, yeah. I only compete against myself. It's embarrassing to have all the other kids lined up there. You usually win. Yeah. It's good times. All right. Let's talk to Scott, who's 26. Scott?

1:08:39 Caller Yep, I'm here.

1:08:39 Adam What's happening?

1:08:41 Caller Well, my girlfriend and I have really rough sex and very controlling and lots of sex talk and we're very sexually compatible and the sex has been great. But recently, I have reason to think that maybe she was sexually abused or molested by her father and so I'm wondering if some of the things that we've been doing sexually I should continue doing if they are cathartic or if the opposite of it, somehow reinforcing the trauma.

1:09:11 Drew What makes you believe she was abused?

1:09:14 Caller Well, she just finally told me that she actually was abused, abused and she was put in a foster home. But then, it's just a gut feeling and I actually asked her once and she said no, but it was the way that she said it.

1:09:28 Drew Abused abuse means physically abused?

1:09:29 Caller Yeah, physically abused, like I had broken bones and hit and she was put into a foster home and she was not-

1:09:35 Drew Yeah, but that's abuse enough. You don't have to even, you don't have to add in the sexual abuse.

1:09:39 Adam Yeah, that's all you need, by the way, for the rough trade in the bedroom is dad beating her up a little bit.

1:09:45 Caller Yeah, there's that and also she likes to call me daddy a lot.

1:09:48 Guest I was just about to ask him that.

1:09:50 Adam Really?

1:09:50 Drew Yeah.

1:09:51 Caller I'm your bitch and- Which is, it's fun to indulge in.

1:09:55 Adam Oh, I thought he was talking to me, actually. Yeah, it's fun, right.

1:09:59 Caller The rest of the relationship certainly isn't like that.

1:10:01 Guest So I guess that kind of sets it off that calls you daddy and-

1:10:05 Drew Is she at treatment?

1:10:06 Adam Yeah.

1:10:07 Caller No, she's not in treatment.

1:10:08 Drew Has she been treated?

1:10:09 Caller Has she been treated? As far as I know, no. I don't believe so.

1:10:12 Drew How long have you been with her?

1:10:13 Caller Six months.

1:10:15 Drew All right.

1:10:15 Adam So, here are the beats, Scott. I'll give you the broad strokes. Drew's got a puss on.

1:10:21 Drew Well, the puss is how could somebody that has profound abuse, foster care, maintain an intimate relationship?

1:10:27 Adam Yeah.

1:10:28 Guest With no treatment.

1:10:29 Drew With no chaos, no craziness. Yeah.

1:10:30 Adam Scott, there is a bogus component to this. I'll be up front with you.

1:10:35 Caller What do you mean?

1:10:37 Adam What I mean? I mean, you may be making this call up and lying to us as we speak.

1:10:41 Drew But.

1:10:41 Caller No, I'm not making the call up. And there is some craziness. She does have intimacy issues. I mean, she lies a lot.

1:10:47 Drew All right.

1:10:47 Caller Okay. All right. All right, Scott. Is she cheating?

1:10:51 Guest Lots of attractive traits. Does she cheat? Does she cheat?

1:10:57 Caller I know. I'm pretty sure. I mean, we're together all the time. I doubt it.

1:11:00 Drew Okay. Yeah.

1:11:01 Adam So Scott, here's what's going on. She was severely abused. She's never got help for it. That's going to be trouble.

1:11:09 Drew That's going to be the big issue.

1:11:10 Adam Huge trouble. Yeah. The bedroom, the sex will never be better and all that kind of stuff. But it just, she's going to start spinning out a little bit. She's going to start turning on you. And you are a smart guy, intellectual guy. You're up in your head. And it's kind of nice for you because you probably got a whole lot of tail in high school and then off in college and stuff like that. You sound well educated and everything. And it's nice to have a young, sort of crazy broad to have crazy sex with. But you're going to have to start paying the fiddler here. And six months is right about the time when the turn starts. So she's going to have to get some therapy in order to deal with all this.

1:11:46 Drew Now you asked about reinforcing the abuse through being physically aggressive in the bed. And, you know, the reality is that the physical abuse sort of think of it as sort of conditioning the brain in such a way that in order to experience arousal, things have to be super stimulating or sometimes physically aggressive, or they can't experience themselves sexually. Well, she kind of at this stage, she kind of needs that.

1:12:06 Adam Let me give a little X Games example. Whereas I...

1:12:09 Guest Isn't your nickname, Who's Your Daddy?

1:12:13 Adam I could get a thrill. I'll give an X Games example here, whereas a lot of guys, if they just skated a half pipe, it would be a thrill just to get halfway up and do a kick turn and come down the other side. But guys that grew up doing it since they were eight, they gotta get 10 feet of air before they even get a pulse going on.

1:12:33 Drew That's the way it is.

1:12:34 Adam She needs 10 feet of air in the bedroom, otherwise forget it. If I just get up on the chick, I'm excited.

1:12:40 Drew Now what? The longboard chick?

1:12:43 Adam Yeah, if I can just actually get up on her. I'm like, hey, look at me. Oh, I fall off the side of bed.

1:12:49 Drew Don't get into any weird fetishes with her. That will take you off into a wild direction. But just the fact that she needs things sort of extra stimulating, let's say, would not be unusual.

1:12:58 Adam Let me ask one last parting shot to Scott. Scott? What do you do? Something with computers?

1:13:04 Guest What do you do?

1:13:07 Caller I'm in marketing. I have a company that puts on food and wine shows.

1:13:10 Adam All right. So, you're one of them smart kids.

1:13:14 Drew Food and wine shows?

1:13:15 Guest You know, it sounds like he's got a pretty mellow life, so this is like his release.

1:13:18 Adam Yeah. Oh, no.

1:13:20 Guest She finds a project.

1:13:21 Adam Yeah. Here's the thing, Scott. Just don't get all up in your head with her. She needs to get some therapy if she's been this severely abused, all right?

1:13:29 Drew This isn't stuff that makes sense or you can figure out intellectually. This is...

1:13:33 Caller And so, in the meantime, should I continue to do this in the bedroom like a test?

1:13:37 Adam Yeah.

1:13:37 Guest Yeah, whatever.

1:13:38 Guest Does it make you uncomfortable?

1:13:40 Drew No, it's kind of a mood.

1:13:41 Caller No, the whole daddy thing really isn't my thing, but I...

1:13:43 Caller Well, don't ask her who your daddy is. Who her daddy is.

1:13:48 Caller I'll give it to me daddy. I'm your little girl.

1:13:51 Adam Have some fun.

1:13:52 Caller All right.

1:13:53 Adam Go ahead. Yeah. Have yourself a nice brie wheel and some chardonnay.

1:13:58 Caller Just watch your song.

1:14:00 Adam He's 26 and food and wine parties?

1:14:03 Caller What goes on?

1:14:03 Drew Adam wants to put a party on in his house. Come on now.

1:14:06 Adam Scott, what's going on? What kind of food and wine parties?

1:14:11 Caller They're trade shows.

1:14:12 Adam They're trade shows. What do you do?

1:14:15 Caller You rent a ballroom and then food and wine manufacturers or distributors rent tables and then you bring in a lot of people that buy for restaurants and bars.

1:14:25 Caller Sounds like a sex cult to me.

1:14:27 Adam Yeah.

1:14:28 Caller Then there's a big orgy at the end.

1:14:31 Adam Okay. Good times.

1:14:33 Caller All right.

1:14:34 Adam Thanks. Glad I got back, Scott. I like Scott. He just doesn't, he doesn't, he's in over his head. I mean, here's the thing. When you got a chick who's been taken away from her home because of, you know, this kind of crazy physical abuse, like bone breaking and stuff, you got to get tons of therapy or it's never going to be right.

1:14:51 Drew Well, it's never going to be right, period. But it's going to be unmanageable if you don't get some treatment.

1:14:56 Guest That sounds like a disaster waiting to happen. But he just sounds like he's so psyched to be getting some.

1:15:01 Adam He is.

1:15:02 Guest It's just like, he just, I mean, he's like, what do I need to tolerate?

1:15:07 Drew How do I not misstep? How do I not misstep? How do I not misstep?

1:15:10 Adam Yeah. No, I know, but it's going to blow up.

1:15:13 Guest He's in too deep.

1:15:13 Adam All right. Let's just say hi to Jason only because he's calling from Alaska. Jason? You're in Alaska? What's your story? Why did you end up in Alaska or better yet, what's your dad's story? Fugitive?

1:15:31 No, not fugitive, he passed away when I was 14. But the reason why I called was...

1:15:38 Guest Oh, that's good.

1:15:39 Adam That's how he got to Alaska by dying when you were 14?

1:15:43 No, that's not how he got there.

1:15:45 Adam How did he get to Alaska?

1:15:47 No, none of my family is in Alaska. I met the girl online.

1:15:52 Adam Oh, you went to Alaska?

1:15:54 Yes.

1:15:55 Drew Met a girl online and chased her to Alaska?

1:15:57 Guest Online to Alaska.

1:15:58 Caller Oh, that's an accident waiting to happen.

1:16:00 Guest Weren't we talking about this earlier? That was one of the ways to get in.

1:16:03 Adam Yeah, all right. Hold on, hold on a second. What are you doing here, sir? I met a 700-pound woman online. 700? 750. Okay, you're in. Get in there. By the way, tie this rope around your waist. Yeah, no, it's a safety thing. We've lost a few guys. You ain't caught it twice for trouble and once if you're hungry. We'll sit out some stream water and pat him again. Ask him, I'll bring it by. All right, let's take a little break here. Talking X Games tonight. Then we'll get back and find out what Jason's story is. Oh, yeah, I want to give a quick plug for our good friend, Jeremy McGrath, speaking of X Games, probably the greatest motocross racer of all time. He's going to be signing some autographs Friday the 6th. Hey, that's tomorrow at 4.30 at Staples. Is that not Staples Center or is that Staples?

1:17:00 Drew Staples Center, I guess.

1:17:01 Adam Staples Center, you guess. And then Sunday, August 8th, that's this Sunday, 2.30 at the Home Depot Center. He's a friend of ours. Give him a little plug.

1:17:10 Guest Good job, Jeremy. Glad to see him coming back.

1:17:13 Adam On the topic. Is he coming back and racing?

1:17:18 Caller It's a new event.

1:17:19 Guest I didn't tell you, Adam.

1:17:20 Adam How dare he? Don't anyone go to his autograph signing on a Friday the 6th.

1:17:24 Guest Do you need passes to get in?

1:17:26 Adam I do, actually, yeah.

1:17:27 Guest Well, come on out.

1:17:28 Adam I am. All right.

1:17:29 Guest Katie, we need help.

1:17:30 Adam We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back. That's Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Ronnie Renner, Chad Kagy here tonight. Chad riding the BMX, riding freestyle motocross. Oh, I was looking at this. What's the one we're trying to make it over the bar on the dirt bike?

1:18:12 Caller Step-up.

1:18:12 Adam The step-up.

1:18:13 Caller I don't know what the official name is.

1:18:15 Adam Yeah, Drew, you ever seen this step-up one?

1:18:17 Drew Sounds like pole vaulting.

1:18:18 Adam It is. It's kind of high jumping on a motorcycle. I don't know what the record is. It's new. I mean, it's a few years old. I saw it, I guess, about five years ago is when I first started.

1:18:29 Caller Thirty-six feet from ground level to over the bar.

1:18:32 Adam Really?

1:18:33 Caller With no momentum.

1:18:34 Guest Yeah, I don't like the way you guys measure that.

1:18:37 Adam How do they do that?

1:18:38 Guest You're taking off from the top of the jump. Yeah. But you're measuring from where you started 15 feet down.

1:18:44 Caller I don't know.

1:18:45 Guest I mean, like, you're taking off from here, so why are you measuring from down here?

1:18:48 Caller It's really a hard one to get an official record because they... It's hard to measure exactly the starting point from a certain distance. And, you know, you can have a little hill coming into it, which helps your momentum, and every lip is built different on it, so I don't know how they...

1:19:04 Adam How do you... It's essentially a high jump for motorcycles, and they essentially go straight up on the bike and sort of pull it over a... It's like a pole vault, essentially. But how do you land? What's the... I can't remember what the landing is.

1:19:20 Caller Like a ton of bricks.

1:19:21 Guest It looks hard.

1:19:21 Caller Actually, that's my favorite event, and I guess I can plead my case here on that. ESPN made it an invite only this year for Five Guys, made for live TV. I got two bronze medals at it in three years and two world championships and didn't get invited. Really? Yeah. What's up? I don't know. Wow.

1:19:40 Guest Who's your daddy?

1:19:41 Adam Yeah, no kidding. You gotta go to Alaska to get started there.

1:19:45 Caller Can I get into Alaska if that happened to me? That was shunned from the highest air?

1:19:49 Adam Yeah, we'll cook up a good story about you. It's good if you're actually, when you're trying to get in, if you're actually being shot at while you're making your case.

1:19:56 Drew There you go.

1:19:58 Caller But if you got any questions about Step Up, go ahead and ask me.

1:20:01 Adam I tell you, I saw it a few years back. It was intrigued by it. It seemed like a crazy, it seemed like most of these sports or these events are rooted in something that you could think of or that you've seen before. But Step Up is not. It's essentially we're going to build a ramp that goes straight up. I'm going to hold a broomstick way, way up there, like 15 feet above the top of the ramp. You're going to get a quick run on it in your motorcycle and then just pull it over this broomstick and then sort of land hard. Like it's really, it doesn't have any correlation to anything you've ever seen before. And it doesn't seem like an evolution of anything. All the other stuff seems like it's evolved. This is just some new crazy thing.

1:20:45 Guest Hey, what's the run up on it, like 20 feet, 30 feet?

1:20:47 Caller Yeah, not much at all. Like it's I think 15 to 20 feet.

1:20:51 Adam Are you in first gear?

1:20:53 Caller I do first gear. There's been a couple situations where they made a kind of an angled slope where it dropped down going into it and a couple of guys could pull second gear.

1:21:02 Adam And would when you get it up, you got to like yank the bike over the bar and stuff, right?

1:21:08 Caller Yeah, I mean, like I feel like when I get on a dirt bike, that's my deal. I can do about anything, but when you're sitting, you know, battling three guys and it's almost at record height and you're sitting down there looking up, it's like it doesn't add up. That ain't going to happen.

1:21:23 Adam Get a picture that run up for Dr. Drew to take a look at on the internet. What's this event called? Step Up. Don't pull up any recipe websites like you usually do. It usually pulls up something to do with food. I don't want to see you step up recipes for gazpacho.

1:21:45 Caller You could be able to find a picture on ronnierenner.com. I don't know.

1:21:48 Adam Go there. Go to ronnierenner.com. Find a nice step up picture.

1:21:53 Caller That was a good shameless plug.

1:21:54 Guest Show it to Drew.

1:21:56 Adam Again, if it has it, it can't have like a lemon wedge or anything by it. It's got to be all motocross. All right. Drew, just go over there and marvel. Go marvel, please. Go ooh and ah. It's crazy. Now, when is... Now, forget it. I'm not going to watch it. They're not going to watch it because they didn't invite you. They didn't invite you, Ronnie. I'm not going.

1:22:15 Caller Well, I appreciate that. I'm protesting. Come to the freestyle.

1:22:18 Adam I'm coming to the freestyle. Screw that step up.

1:22:20 Guest Come watch Vert tomorrow night.

1:22:21 Adam I'm watching Vert. I don't need any of that step up.

1:22:25 Caller I'm not trying to kiss Chad's butt here, but Vert BMX is one of the gnarliest things because I don't, like I said, I won't even climb down the Vert wall in their air. How high do you get? 20 feet? 15 feet high?

1:22:39 Guest Depends if you're measuring from flat ground or the coping.

1:22:41 Caller Go ahead.

1:22:42 Guest Use our method.

1:22:45 Guest Well, usually if we measure from 50 feet below ground, sea level, we're doing pretty good. 13 foot ramp.

1:22:54 Caller So when you're riding in Denver, you're really going big.

1:22:56 Guest Oh, it's insane. Like one and a half miles. That's good.

1:23:00 Adam Jason, yeah, what do you get above the coping?

1:23:03 Guest Above the coping, the highest we've...

1:23:04 Adam You beat those Japanese kids?

1:23:06 Guest Yeah, yeah, yeah. We've got to go higher than the in-liners. Now, we've got a couple of guys that are doing records where they get towed in by a motorcycle. My old boss, Matt Hoffman, had a 25 foot high quarter pipe, got towed in by a 250. He did like a 36 foot air over the top of the coping, over the top of...

1:23:25 Adam 36 foot above the coping?

1:23:27 Caller Flat out nasty, boss.

1:23:30 Adam Oh my God.

1:23:31 Guest Yeah, he got wrecked. Oh yeah, sure. They tore the ramp down.

1:23:34 Drew Remember the call we had about the guy getting physically aggressive with his girlfriend and who's your daddy? It says who's your daddy all over your website.

1:23:41 Caller That's my nickname.

1:23:42 Guest I told you it was his nickname.

1:23:43 Drew The point is, that was a totally bogus call. That was probably a friend of yours or something.

1:23:47 Adam Interesting. Interesting.

1:23:49 Caller Trust me, my friends are demented. They can think of something much better than that.

1:23:52 Drew That didn't kind of fit for us.

1:23:54 Guest Yeah, keep an eye out. We had a lot of people telling us they were going to try and make calls.

1:23:57 Adam All right. All right. Well, Drew figured it out. A day late and a dollar short, as usual.

1:24:02 Guest Did you see that step up there, Drew? I can't tell.

1:24:05 Drew There's so many crazy pictures of him in 400 feet in the air.

1:24:09 Adam Ronnie, go to your website, go help Drew, and go find him a nice step up picture and impress him. And then we're going to talk, Chad and I will talk to Jason. Jason?

1:24:19 Guest How's it going, Jason?

1:24:22 Adam What's happening? So you're in Alaska, you met a chick in Alaska.

1:24:26 Guest No, no, no. Online he met the chick.

1:24:28 Adam Right.

1:24:29 Guest Went to Alaska.

1:24:29 Adam Went to Alaska. I'm hip.

1:24:32 Guest I follow you so far, but I don't understand the Alaska part.

1:24:36 Well, I just met her online. Anyway, and by the way, she isn't 700 pounds.

1:24:46 Adam Yeah, since one is 680, 700 pounds.

1:24:51 I don't know if I am at all.

1:24:52 Adam All right. So she lives in Alaska. You met her online and you went to her. Where did you come from?

1:24:58 Ohio.

1:24:58 Adam Ohio. All right.

1:25:02 Anyway, while I came over here, we've been together for about a year. And I've been wanting her to try anal sex, but she doesn't want to do it. She's reluctant on it and keeps telling me no. It's not a mad no. It just seems like she's scared.

1:25:18 Drew Scared.

1:25:20 It seems like she thinks in my herd or something. All right.

1:25:24 Drew I say go for it.

1:25:24 Adam Do it the butt. Yeah. Listen, bitch, I was in Michigan enjoying the sunshine. I moved out here in the Great Lakes and I moved out here to this frozen tundra. I want some anal. If I had a nickel for every time I delivered that speech, I wouldn't want to be a rich man. But you went all the way to Alaska. You should get anal. Any fool knows.

1:25:44 Guest That's what your dad said.

1:25:46 Adam It's in the Bible. You don't travel to Alaska without getting anal. Jason?

1:25:54 Caller Getting or giving?

1:25:55 Adam I think a little of each. What do you do over there? Besides begging for anal, what do you do in Alaska?

1:26:04 Caller How do you support yourself?

1:26:07 I work at a home depot up here.

1:26:10 Adam Oh, really?

1:26:11 Guest So how is it that you go about asking her to do it in the butt?

1:26:14 Yeah.

1:26:15 Caller Yeah, I want to get in on this one.

1:26:16 Adam Yeah, how do you do that?

1:26:19 I just, I usually like, when we're in the middle of having sex, I ask, you know, I just, I guess I get behind her or whatever, but once I start, she...

1:26:31 Guest Maybe some prior preparation there.

1:26:33 Adam Yeah. All right. Hey, Jason, and by the way, Jason sounds like such a velvety tongue, smooth talker. I can't imagine any woman that wouldn't melt under that.

1:26:46 Drew Whatever his request. Whatever.

1:26:48 Adam I could just see the tops just starting to come off as he's speaking. This guy's so smooth.

1:26:54 Caller He's just staring at the balloon knot back there.

1:26:56 Adam Ladies, man. Jason. Yeah. What section you work in at the Home Depot? I'm a cashier. Oh, cashier. All right. So you're not working the plumbing or anything like that? Now you guys don't have a bunch of day laborers waiting out on the corner there, do you? The Alaska Home Depot? No.

1:27:17 Caller Sounds like he wants to work the plumbing.

1:27:18 Adam All right.

1:27:20 Guest Jason, is this something that you've already tried before or is this something you're trying to make happen for the first time?

1:27:26 I'm trying to make happen for the first time.

1:27:29 Adam It's not going to happen. Here's the whole thing about chicks. Chicks, they're like cats. You can't yell at them like, hey, when I come home from a long, hard day, I want you to jump off the sofa and start purring. They're just like, screw you. You got to give them something they want. Open a can of food.

1:27:44 Drew By the way, some cats like certain things and just don't others. And that's it.

1:27:48 Adam Right.

1:27:48 Guest He's pretty antsy to getting messy slung.

1:27:50 Drew Whatever.

1:27:50 Adam Yeah, Jason. Again, who could say no to Jason? I know. I melt when I hear his voice. Here's the thing. You want an anal, you can't just keep bugging her. Start to give her a reason to give you an anal other than you bothering her. Yes, Drew?

1:28:05 Drew Yes, Adam.

1:28:06 Adam Did you see the step up pictures?

1:28:07 Drew Crazy.

1:28:09 Adam I told you. You were gazing off in the outer space the whole time I was telling you about that.

1:28:14 Drew No, I was trying to picture it. It's hard to picture it.

1:28:16 Adam I saw your thought bubble. It was a big corn dog. You're hungry in a booby. You're horny. I could tell you weren't paying attention. Yeah.

1:28:27 Drew I didn't know what you were talking about.

1:28:28 Adam I'd like to step up to a corn dog in a boob.

1:28:31 Drew It's like, you know, kids sometimes they'll sort of try to recreate things with whatever they're doing. Like, let's go, let's do a high jump with a pogo stick.

1:28:38 Adam Yeah, that's what it is.

1:28:40 Drew It's like, you aren't supposed to be doing that with a motorcycle.

1:28:42 Adam It doesn't exist anywhere, right? No. It's not based on anything.

1:28:45 Drew But that's why it's sort of mind-warping. It's like, hey, that's a high jump with a guy on a motorcycle.

1:28:49 Adam Is the picture still up there?

1:28:51 Guest No, I don't think so.

1:28:52 Adam What happened to the picture? Why did you take it down?

1:28:55 Drew Our guest is over there looking at other pictures.

1:28:57 Adam Chad, go find some pictures of you, too.

1:29:00 Guest I'm going to show you a good one.

1:29:01 Adam All right. We're going to take a little break here. Ronnie and Chad both here talking X Games going on all weekend out here in Los Angeles. We're going to look at some more crazy pictures. We'll be right back after this.

1:29:38 Caller If you go to Home Depot Center Sunday, then you're breaking down kids.

1:29:42 Adam Yeah, I know. One, go. Hey everybody, it's Loveline. Oh, I'm scared. Just talking X Games with Ronnie Renner and Chad Kagy, BMX and Motocross. And it's really the, it's getting, it's like what's going on with these X Games sports is like it's becoming like what basketball is. Like your kid, he can't, he's not going to play. He can't play. He's not going to, like he can't do it. There's guys, there's six foot nine, they're all elbows and shoulders. They got a 44 inch vertical leap and they can touch the back, the top of the hoop, the top of the backboard and they're not, your kid can't play anymore. That's why I'm starting to think what's going on with these X Games, guys doing double flips on motorcycles and guys getting 15 feet of air on BMX bikes and crazy Japanese twins are flying all over the place and inline skates, like too dangerous, too hairy, can't be done by regular people anymore. Remember back when we, remember the early X Games that we participated in, Drew?

1:30:50 Drew Oh yeah.

1:30:51 Adam You had that Black Knight skateboard with the clay wheels.

1:30:54 Drew Yeah.

1:30:54 Adam Your whole thing was just to see if you could go in a straight line without hitting an acorn for more than 20 feet and flying forward.

1:31:00 Drew Which did many times. Yeah. Or a pebble.

1:31:06 Adam It was a great invention. Here's a small piece of wood that you can get going 15, 20 miles an hour on. But if you hit so much as a pebble.

1:31:14 Drew No, a pebble. Seriously.

1:31:16 Adam You hit a pebble.

1:31:17 Drew You fly.

1:31:18 Adam It locks up the front wheel.

1:31:20 Guest Straight to the face.

1:31:21 Adam And it does not roll over, it locks and drags. You couldn't, really, here's how fast it stops. It stops about as fast as if you just hit a curb.

1:31:29 Drew And strangely, you would think you'd kind of fly off it. But you don't. You go face down.

1:31:33 Adam Yes, you're actually propelled toward the ground.

1:31:35 Drew What is that?

1:31:35 Adam Yeah, I don't know. But those were the early X games.

1:31:39 Guest Gravity, it kind of makes most of us hurt.

1:31:41 Caller That whole gravity thing, I think, has bit me and Chad both in the butt once or twice.

1:31:45 Guest Bit of a ball up sometimes.

1:31:46 Adam Yeah, well you guys, you know, with your Urethane wheels and your knobby tires, you don't know from clay wheels. Like we used to have to put up with. Hardcore.

1:31:55 Guest I'm gonna finally go back. I'll put some clay tires on my bike.

1:31:58 Adam Yeah, we didn't have, you know, when we put our helmets on, we pulled them out of our back pockets and just fluffed them up like that. We didn't actually have hard helmets. They were just leather.

1:32:07 Drew When I'd hop on my Stingray.

1:32:09 Adam Yeah, ride a Papa Wheelie. Yeah.

1:32:15 Drew What was the thing they'd put on? They'd put that big high bar in the back. Sissy bar. Sissy bar. With the...

1:32:20 Adam Peace sign.

1:32:20 Drew No, no, there'd be like an emblem from Kaiser Germany.

1:32:24 Adam They had different ones. Oh, well, they had like the German Cross.

1:32:27 Guest Right, German Cross, yeah.

1:32:28 Adam On there.

1:32:31 Caller Chad, I think in the memory of your Loveline experience, you should run a sissy bar.

1:32:35 Adam Yeah.

1:32:37 Guest Iron Cross. Sissy bar.

1:32:39 Adam Stingray, yeah, with the shocks in the front.

1:32:41 Guest Clay tires.

1:32:41 Adam Slick in the back.

1:32:43 Caller Springer forks. Really?

1:32:45 Guest Pretty sure 10th Place would be coming my way.

1:32:47 Adam Here's it. First off, those Schwins that you speak of, Drew. Drew, did you have that Schwin? Of course. Okay, that Schwin, you go on eBay, these things are, you know, 2,000 bucks.

1:32:56 Caller Really?

1:32:57 Adam Well, the crazy ones, you know, with like the-

1:32:59 Drew With the silver, with the silver-

1:33:00 Guest Old school ones.

1:33:01 Caller With the gas tank.

1:33:02 Adam They had like a stick shift, five speed in the middle. And they had like a drum break. They were like choppers and little, they had like apple crates and the girl ones were called like the slick chick, the foxy ladle, these names.

1:33:15 Guest Oh, they've got bad names now.

1:33:17 Adam Really?

1:33:20 Guest No, they actually had a bike called the Fat Girl.

1:33:22 Adam Really? That Schwinn had a fat girl?

1:33:25 Guest No, it's specialized, not a fat girl.

1:33:28 Adam I just realized, I was explaining to someone the difference, here's how you know, here's the difference between a good childhood and a bad childhood and that's all you need to know. Levi's and Schwinn versus Huffy and Toughskins. I was a Huffy and Toughskin man.

1:33:45 Guest Did you ever get beat up for that?

1:33:47 Adam No, you know, here's the thing about Huffy and Toughskins when it come from that family. You don't need to get beat up. You're getting beat up.

1:33:53 Guest Life is beating.

1:33:55 Adam Riding the Huffy to the JC Penney.

1:33:56 Guest It's painful enough.

1:33:57 Adam Yeah, riding the Huffy over to pick up the super denim at JC Penney, that's getting beat up.

1:34:02 Drew And Adam has maintained that beating theme throughout his life, strangely.

1:34:06 Adam That's right.

1:34:06 Guest Just beat yourself up so no one else has to do the job.

1:34:09 Adam What Schwinn did you have, Drew?

1:34:11 Drew I had the blue Stingray.

1:34:13 Adam Don't you ever complain to me. Don't you ever. You know, Drew, he only does his complaint about his cheap parents and stuff like that. And he's like, oh, my dad, when I was riding my Stingray to prep school, my dad used to tell me, it's like, what? Stingray? How dare you? How dare you complain to me?

1:34:30 Caller You know what Stingrays and Fat Chicks have in common? They're both fun to ride until your friends see you on one.

1:34:35 Adam That's right. That's right. You know, it usually works for Moped, but there was a nice on the fly twist and tie in.

1:34:42 Caller I figured if I threw Moped in there, it would have been too comfortable.

1:34:44 Adam It worked. Trow. Trow. 19.

1:34:49 Guest Hey Trow.

1:34:50 Adam What's up?

1:34:52 Guest Not much. I'm just calling because I heard you guys talking about online dating and kind of dissing it. And I just want to tell you that it's successful sometimes.

1:35:02 Guest Rarely, but yes.

1:35:03 Adam Not in your case, but yes.

1:35:04 Guest Well, anything can be successful.

1:35:06 Guest No, in my case, it was very successful.

1:35:07 Adam What happened? Was.

1:35:09 Guest I met a guy on Craigslist and we're still together and we're doing really well.

1:35:14 Drew You met him where?

1:35:15 Adam True. Why, you gonna unplug the website again?

1:35:18 Drew No, I wonder if it's some service. Was it a dating service or was it something that people use sort of as a random meeting place?

1:35:24 Guest Well, I was on there to look for housing and jobs and stuff like that. So, I'm moving to Pittsburgh for school and I saw that they had a personal section, which was bizarre, and I ended up putting up a personal ad for fun and he responded and he was really cool.

1:35:38 Adam Really? What did your personal ad say?

1:35:43 Guest Well, the title was, why are all hot guys jerks? And then it says I'm 19, so that the people responding know what age you're.

1:35:50 Guest Well, that'll attract them.

1:35:51 Adam Uh-huh, 19, and how do you look? You good-looking?

1:35:55 Guest Yeah, I'm not bad-looking.

1:35:56 Drew All right, so what did you discover about all hot guys being jerks?

1:36:00 Adam And is this guy hot?

1:36:02 Guest Yeah, yes.

1:36:03 Adam He is?

1:36:04 Caller Obviously, he's gonna be a nice guy because.

1:36:06 Drew He's hot and he's scrolling for chicks online.

1:36:08 Adam Yeah, why is he trolling online for new arrivals to town?

1:36:13 Guest This is why I called, because there's like this weird voodoo thing about going online looking for lovers or just friends or people to hang out with. The thing is that some people, like in my case, just don't have good social places to go to meet other people. Like, I'm an actress and most of the people in my casts and shows are in the 40s or the 50s. And there's just like not many people in my own age group to get to meet other people.

1:36:37 Adam Not to mention gay.

1:36:39 Caller All right.

1:36:41 Adam Oh, shocking.

1:36:42 Drew But the, again, the hot guy trolling online still isn't fitting together for me.

1:36:46 Caller All right.

1:36:47 Adam Well, she thinks he's hot, you know.

1:36:49 Drew All right.

1:36:50 Guest No, he's good-looking. He's definitely good-looking.

1:36:53 Guest Anything can work for him.

1:36:54 Caller At least his mom says so.

1:36:55 Adam Right. And by the way, there's such a thing as a guy. You know how there's the ugly dudes or the spindly dudes who get tons of pun tang?

1:37:05 Guest Yeah. Yeah.

1:37:06 Adam For every one of them, for every one of those, I can't believe that guy gets that. Oh, my God. There's a good-looking guy who don't get anything. There's, see, this doesn't exist in the female realm. Hot-looking chick like a tall, busty blonde chick is always going to be in demand. Once in a while, there are good-looking guys who are physically good specimens who aren't sexually inde-

1:37:30 Guest They don't exude the confidence.

1:37:34 Adam Women use their nose as much as they use their eyes.

1:37:37 Guest It's got to be a confidence thing. I've got a lot of friends that just, you know, you'll walk in with two separate people and one just starts talking to everybody. He'll walk into a bar and just instantly get numbers.

1:37:47 Adam It's total confidence with guys. But for every one of the confident, ugly guys, there's a good-looking guy who ain't getting what he should.

1:37:54 Caller I know it's 2004, but I would imagine personality still has a little pool these days.

1:37:58 Adam We're trying to weed it out, though.

1:38:01 Drew We don't discuss it on this show.

1:38:02 Adam We're going to take a quick break. We'll be right back. I'm going to go ahead and get the third one. I'm going to go ahead and get the fourth one. So, Ronnie, Chad, thanks, you've been delightful and X Games, everybody, going on as we speak all weekend out here in Los Angeles, crazier than ever. Next year in Los Angeles, too?

1:38:48 Guest They haven't even, who knows? They haven't said yet.

1:38:50 Adam But they've been going two and two, we were talking about?

1:38:52 Guest Yeah, they've been doing two years every location. There's rumors floating around of, you know, an East Coast city.

1:38:58 Adam Right.

1:38:58 Guest And there's rumors floating around of doing a third year.

1:39:01 Adam All right, well, if they are here next year, we'll see you next year. And if not, everyone, you want to enjoy it while it lasts, going on this weekend out here in Southern California. I want to thank engineer and I should say, I'm all screwed up looking at Drew, I want to thank phone screener Brian for doing a great job all week long, engineer Anderson for being light on his fingers, junior, producer Lauren for doing a great job, producer Ann for booking. Great names all week long and engineer Chris for putting up with all my junior, junior college abuse. And of course, until next time, I'm Adam Carolla for Dr. Drew saying Mahalo.

1:39:49 Caller This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed in this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or the station. Sponsors, or the station. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

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Thursday, August 5, 2004