Episode 1000625077743

0:54 Voiceover Loveline may contain sexually-oriented content.

0:58 Voiceover And listener discretion is advised. Loveline with Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew.

1:04 Voiceover That's Dr. Marcel. Dr. Drew, still on vacation, but that's fine, because Dr. Marcel was an old roommate of Dr. Drew's and college is a plastic surgeon, and that's the direction we should steer the show tonight. Phone number, 1-800-LOVE-191, Marcel, good to see you as usual.

1:23 Dr. Marcel Good to see you again, Adam.

1:24 Dr. Marcel Marcel will answer, and plastic surgery has never been bigger, has it?

1:30 Dr. Marcel No, no, it's pretty popular right now.

1:33 Dr. Marcel His plastic surgery, and so tonight, if you have any questions, and, you know, whatever medical questions you got, Marcel can answer, but his specialty is plastic surgery. Has it just been a steady rise in plastic surgery since, you know, the 1950s to now, or has it turned up a notch over the last couple of years?

1:56 Dr. Marcel It's been a steady rise since probably the 60s, but it's the last four years that it's really accelerated.

2:04 Dr. Marcel Is it because of these TV shows? A lot, yeah. Is it people? Like, you know, I think that in the past, nobody, let's say women, under... Well, okay, first off, men didn't really consider plastic surgery. Now they're candidates for it. Women under 40 didn't consider plastic surgery. Now they're all stepping in to have something done. So I mean, it seems like the pool has gotten much deeper, much broader.

2:29 Dr. Marcel Well, I mean, it started off plastic surgery was reserved for celebrities and wealthy people, and now it's become accepted at every level of society.

2:40 Dr. Marcel Has the price come down? I mean, relative to what a nose job or a tuck was or a lift was, you know, 20 years ago?

2:48 Dr. Marcel Well, probably in relative terms in some demographic areas it is because it's competitive.

2:53 Dr. Marcel Right.

2:54 Dr. Marcel And so certainly in the Beverly Hills type of areas, you can still command a premium, but in other parts of the country, you have to be a little sensitive to market pressure, so to speak.

3:05 Dr. Marcel What is the most popular stuff you're doing now?

3:08 Dr. Marcel I do a lot of breasts.

3:11 Dr. Marcel Always going up, right?

3:13 Dr. Marcel Yeah. Well, sometimes we...

3:14 Dr. Marcel Occasional reduction.

3:15 Dr. Marcel Occasional reduction, and certainly I still rebuild them after cancer. Is...

3:20 Dr. Marcel Come on, let's not kill them with the cancer.

3:23 Dr. Marcel We'll go back with the big ones then.

3:24 Dr. Marcel All right. So... And what about... Everyone saline? Is that the standard now or are they going back?

3:31 Dr. Marcel You know, we're seeing a lot more people asking about silicone because we're the last country. All over Europe now, South America, you can get silicone again.

3:39 Dr. Marcel Oh, really?

3:40 Dr. Marcel And here in the United States, it's restricted still. But you do one one gal with silicone and she shows her friends and they compare it to their friends that have saline. And they all come in saying, I don't want saline.

3:52 Dr. Marcel Yeah, I... Dr. Marcel brought in a bare saline sack and a bare silicone sack. And I felt them in each hand. And the silicone one, I didn't want to give back.

4:04 Dr. Marcel Yeah, no, it's...

4:05 Dr. Marcel It's a better feeling. It really feels better than an actual breast does. Truth be told.

4:10 Dr. Marcel It does feel nice. It does feel nice.

4:13 Dr. Marcel And did they change them or did they just decide this was just much ado about nothing, the whole scare of ten years ago?

4:20 Dr. Marcel Well, the implants that are available right now are called third-generation implants. And they're a little... the shell's a little thicker, the gel's a little thicker, so they seem to be a better design product. And then science, every study done since ten years ago, hasn't shown any ill effects from silicone. I mean, it's still an operation and stuff can happen, but we haven't found any ticking health time bombs with silicone like people thought.

4:45 Dr. Marcel I had, speaking of operations, maybe a little out of it today, because I finally had this surgery yesterday to get my head to stop sweating so much. I don't even know what it's called. Not that many guys do it. But my head was just, anyone who knows me knows I have just a head that's like a bar rag. And, you know, if I work out, I have to, you know, my eyes sting, I have to keep mopping my brow and stuff. I found out there was this surgery out there that'll nip the whatever. Now, they'll do it.

5:15 Dr. Marcel It's a sympathectomy, isn't it?

5:17 Dr. Marcel I guess so. Yeah, that's what they call it. They do it for your hands and they do it for your underarms.

5:21 Dr. Marcel I didn't know they did it for your head.

5:23 Dr. Marcel Well, not many guys do, and it's not exactly as commonplace as a lot of the other ones. But it seemed to have worked out. It's only been one day? Well, I did the surgery yesterday, like yesterday morning, and I woke up this morning at 5.45 for some reason, raring to go. That's like too much fighting. With a dry head. The dry head and a heart that ached to rock and roll. And I went to my house and I hung two doors at like 7 in the morning with this weird surge of energy. But I was just thinking, the reason I was thinking about is they do that thing. First off, they always need the underpants. And as you know, here's the deal. Here's how surgery works. Two beats. We need your underpants, we're going to be knocking you out.

6:13 Dr. Marcel That's about right.

6:14 Dr. Marcel That's how it works. And I've had my hand operated on where they needed the underpants. We have to have the underpants. And I'm like, I don't like dozing off in a room full of people minus the underpants. But if you can give me a good reason why, and by the way, when they work on you, when they work on your hands especially, they spread you out like Christ on the cross. They take a six foot board that a sub sandwich comes on and they strap you down to it. How much further could you get from the nads? Yeah. What? Up? Really? The midways? That's going to throw everyone's game off? What about you people? Don't you want me to have my underpants on? What if something tragic happens? But so here's the thing. So it's always the, yeah, we're going to need the underpants. And they're like, they have their reasons. And here's my thing. They have their reasons. I have my reasons. How about you just put a little addendum at the bottom of the thing? Like, look, if you want to keep your underpants, your balls could catch on fire. There could be, you know, static electricity could search your body and hook up with the nylon in your underpants and your balls could catch on fire. So if you want to keep your underpants, just sign this. I would take my chances.

7:26 Dr. Marcel I don't blame you.

7:27 Dr. Marcel Now, here's the other part, too. So they give you the gown. They give you the gown and the gown ties in the back. And I put the thing on, you know, you take the underpants off, you get all stripped down. You pull this thing on sort of forward like a smock, and then you start the tying process. And tying a bow behind your back is sort of like when you're trying to cut your hair looking in the mirror. Your hands go in a different direction than you think it's moving. It's weird. And then you're trying to go and your ass is hanging out all over the place. And there's tons of Asian nurses and you're just sort of walking around with your hairy ass hanging out. And I went out and I just said, look, there's certain things we never stop working on in this society. I mean, certain inventions, everything. It's a it's a constant. You know, take the automobile tire. Think what the automobile tire was like 75 years ago. Ten plies falling apart. You couldn't go faster than 50 miles. We keep refining. We keep moving. The hospital gown. No one's touched it in 100 years. Nope. Is there is there is there any difference between the hospital gown that I wore yesterday and the one my great grandfather wore? The musket ball pulled out of him in the Civil War. Let's do this one just a little bit. I mean, let's focus on this. That's what I'm saying. It's like there's certain things. Somebody and they didn't appreciate this jag, by the way, while I'm standing with my ass hanging out in front of all the Asian nurses. Really, really had no idea what I'm saying. It was just some ranting, rantings of a madman. But I was saying, look, I don't know who signed off on this, but we're not done. This is a work in progress. This hospital gown, somebody knocked off on it about 100 years ago. Let's evolve it. Let's do something. Let's do some, how about a piece of Velcro? How about something? Really? Just give me your underpants and we're just going to hang a couple pieces of yarn in the back and you can be all drugged up and effed up. And then inevitably you get the, you know, when I had my hand surgery, this big club of a cast on there and you're drugged up. And what about the poor nurses too? You're climbing into the bed, the things getting caught up on your nuts. Your nuts are hanging all over the place. Your legs are a kimbo. Do they really need to see that much like crack and ass?

9:37 Dr. Marcel Probably not.

9:38 Dr. Marcel Probably not.

9:39 Dr. Marcel No.

9:39 Dr. Marcel So, A, how about some hospital underpants? Now, I mean, you're doing the hernia surgery. Fine, take the underpants. You're working on the hand.

9:49 Dr. Marcel Yeah, we give you some little, you know, photo panties or something.

9:52 Dr. Marcel Yeah, how about, what is the under, what's the problem with the underpants?

9:56 Dr. Marcel I think it's a throwback to, I mean, when we do surgery in my office, if we're not going anywhere near the groin area for lipo or anything, we leave their underpants on.

10:06 Dr. Marcel Yeah, for you too. I mean, what do you want, you know? I mean, sure, if they're hot, they're hot. But I mean, you know, and like I said, the whole, there's that whole thing where they sort of get you into the bed and the bed has the sides on it and the sheets are always caught up a little and you're drugged up. And you're wearing this thing that feels like someone took a toga, put it on you and then pulled it like 70 degrees one way. You're feeling kind of pent up. You're feeling weird. It's already uncomfortable. Now the sack is everywhere. And I just thought, look, the ritual part of life, like, look, we need the underpants. Why? Because somebody decided 90 years ago we needed the underpants and now you'll be giving us the underpants and we could get sued. And oh, my God, the paperwork. I mean, Jesus Christ, it was endless, triplicate, just not just initial and sign, initial and signish. It's like they really could have, they could have put me under and then just taken a table leg and beat me to death and there's nothing anyone could have done about it legally after I've rendered a vegetable.

11:10 Dr. Marcel There's a lot of fine print that you're signing out on.

11:14 Dr. Marcel Oh, my God. Let's do something with that hospital gown, Marcel. Invent a better hospital gown. Get some Velcro involved with it. Put a back on it. Ass hanging out. What ends up happening is you end up taking the thing and pulling it off to one side and trying to tie it on one side.

11:31 Dr. Marcel And they wind up taking it off you as soon as you're under anything.

11:33 Dr. Marcel As soon as you get into the bed, off goes the thing and out come the nads. All I'm saying is just a shred of dignity. Just the idea of falling asleep with the underpants on is just much more comforting.

11:45 Dr. Marcel And the first thing that you probably did when you woke up...

11:49 Dr. Marcel went right for the junk.

11:50 Dr. Marcel You grabbed right for it to make sure it was still there.

11:53 Dr. Marcel That's what I do. That's right.

11:54 Dr. Marcel Every guy does.

11:55 Dr. Marcel And unfortunately, I think they got part of it. It just didn't seem like there was that much. Anesthesia, by the way, the general anesthesia, worse than cold water on the Johnson. I did. I popped out of bed and went, Holy Christ, what happened? What'd they do? The penis is not like the general anesthesia.

12:15 Dr. Marcel No, there's one, though, propofol, it's a soy extract, it makes you very amorous.

12:19 Dr. Marcel Oh, going to have to go for that next.

12:22 Dr. Marcel All right.

12:23 Dr. Marcel Is there a white nurse in this country, by the way? I'm not saying that the ones we have are bad, but you're focusing, and especially when you're drugged up on the English, are you okay? You come back and you're like...

12:37 Dr. Marcel The number one export of the Philippines is nurses.

12:39 Dr. Marcel Yes, they're all Filipino. It's like you had some kind of flashback. You know what you should do? Put some bamboo around the thing, and you just wake up, Mao! You'd be like... You'd be back in NAMM. You'd be like the deer hunter. They're very caring people. Lindsay? Lindsay? You're 17? What's up? Doing good. Hey, Marcia, you want to see my... Oh... .thing? Yeah, they poked a probe through there. Oh, let me say this, too, because I got this procedure done yesterday. We don't need the internal pictures, you know. Your doctors are very hip. See, this is what your gut looked like. And then now you can see where it's been cauterized there, it looked like we put a cigarette butt out on one of those. Yeah, it looks...

13:28 Dr. Marcel It's like the dentist is sticking the camera in your mouth to show you how rotten your teeth are.

13:32 Dr. Marcel Yeah. Just do your thing, would you? I trust you. Lindsay? You're 17. Go ahead.

13:39 Dr. Marcel Yeah.

13:41 Dr. Marcel All right. Go.

13:42 Dr. Marcel Oh, I was just wondering how long you can take the morning after pill before it's ineffective.

13:47 Dr. Marcel It's supposed to be 72 hours. And it gets less effective as the time wears on. I mean, I guess from 24 to 72, it gets less effective.

13:58 Dr. Marcel Oh.

13:58 Dr. Marcel So they say. Why? When did you have your unprotected encounter?

14:04 Dr. Marcel Like four days ago.

14:08 Dr. Marcel I may have had one yesterday. I'm not sure. I was so far gone. Four days ago. So that's more than 72 hours.

14:15 Dr. Marcel Yeah.

14:16 Dr. Marcel So you should have called us on Friday.

14:18 Dr. Marcel I know. I messed up.

14:20 Dr. Marcel Yeah. Except we're not on Fridays. We're on Thursdays. All right. So what happened? You didn't use a condom?

14:26 Dr. Marcel No, like I did. And like I'm on birth control. I kind of messed up last week and didn't really do it for a while on it, I guess. And then I took a pregnancy test today and it came positive.

14:38 Dr. Marcel Oh, came out positive. Well, then you're probably pregnant.

14:42 Dr. Marcel Probably.

14:43 Dr. Marcel Wait a minute. Would it show after four days? I thought you had to wait two weeks.

14:46 Dr. Marcel For the early pregnancy test? No.

14:49 Dr. Marcel Oh, you took one of the like DNA ones or the 24-hour ones? No, no.

14:53 Dr. Marcel Some of the urine ones are real, real sensitive, real early.

14:57 Dr. Marcel Oh, really? I always just thought after you had your encounter, you had to wait like two weeks or ten days to take your test. So they got newer ones now.

15:05 Dr. Marcel Pretty soon after. We had to cancel a surgery last week.

15:08 Dr. Marcel Really?

15:09 Dr. Marcel Yeah.

15:09 Dr. Marcel Because someone was…

15:10 Dr. Marcel Her urine pregnancy test the day of surgery came up and she's like, oh, I thought my depo was still working.

15:16 Dr. Marcel And what we're doing, a boob job?

15:18 Dr. Marcel Yeah.

15:19 Dr. Marcel Perfect. Yeah. Now she's really going to get pregnant. Lindsay? All right. The phones keep cutting out. All right. You're probably pregnant then. All right. Fantastic. Let's, penis is too sensitive. Does a penis have to be a certain length to get a girl pregnant? Screw the guy, pierce penis.

15:41 Dr. Marcel A lot of penis calls here. Yeah.

15:43 Dr. Marcel They all seem to have the word penis in them. Heidi?

15:45 Dr. Marcel Yes.

15:46 Dr. Marcel You're 22?

15:48 Dr. Marcel What's up?

15:49 Dr. Marcel I have a question.

15:51 Dr. Marcel I've been dating this guy for a couple of months now and we've had sex probably like three or four times and we do use protected sex, but I don't feel that the pierced penis is pleasurable. It actually hurts really bad. Each time we have sex.

16:08 Dr. Marcel It would have been better if you'd worked painful in there because you're really on an alliteration role with the pierced penis.

16:15 Dr. Marcel Uh-huh.

16:15 Dr. Marcel Wait a minute. Yeah, pleasurable. And if you said it was painful, it would have sort of completed the, I don't know what you'd call it, the triforce death. All right, go ahead, Heidi.

16:28 Dr. Marcel Anyways, I have a question. Can piercings cause any irritation or any disorders up there in the cervix or anything like that?

16:41 Dr. Marcel Well, let's just say I was finger-blasting you with a Super Bowl ring on my index finger. Do you know what I'm saying?

16:49 Dr. Marcel Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

16:50 Dr. Marcel I mean, you could do the math.

16:52 Dr. Marcel I mean, does he have jagged edges on it or what?

16:55 Dr. Marcel Yeah. Actually, it's like this hoop thing and it's like it goes through the tip of the penis.

17:02 Dr. Marcel So it's a Prince Albert.

17:03 Dr. Marcel Yeah. Yeah. It's a Prince Albert. But I don't find it pleasurable at all and I hear that it was supposed to be a pleasure and I found out that it's the different thing. And each time that me and my boyfriend would have sex, I would be like in excruciating pelvic pain for about a day or so.

17:21 Dr. Marcel Tell him to take it out then. I mean, I know like everyone sings like, I can't take this dumbbell out of my dork, the hole will heal up. And I'm like, that good, you idiot. It's one less hole you have in your penis.

17:35 Dr. Marcel Yeah. And exactly. Now when it comes over, I won't give him sex. And he's just like, why? And I'm just like, it hurts me. So I can't do it no more.

17:44 Dr. Marcel All right, what's wrong with him, by the way? I don't trust a guy. And this is not some generational thing or like Pops Corolla, just he's not in touch with the kids. You getting a spear put through your penis means there's something wrong with you. It doesn't mean that you need to be institutionalized. It just means there's a range from a little effed up to colossally effed up. Yeah. The idea that you think this would be a good idea, minus any anesthetic, by the way, it's just I spend the better part of every day keeping sharp things away from my groin. Hence, I didn't want to give up the underpants yesterday. I was telling Dr. Bruce that I will actually pack my junk and bubble wrap before I leave the house and then put a small fat Xbox over it with the styrofoam peanuts in it and then just use a bungee cord to strap it around just so nothing sharp gets to it. When these guys get their penises pierced, they don't even ice them down or anything. To me, that's effed up and the whole pleasurable part of it is just sort of a facade or smoke screen that you hide behind because you're effed up. When you're effed up, all your energy goes right to your junk. That's how it goes. I mean, like when kids, when the five-year-old little Tommy sees mommy and daddy going at hand, goes right down the pants. When someone is colossally effed up, and I think Dr. Alter is going to come in here tomorrow and talk about gender reassignment, you want your junk switched out. The more effed up you are, the more focus you have on your genitalia. Do you know what the answer to that is? It's not the elbows people seem to focus on. It goes right to the tool.

19:27 Dr. Marcel Well, you know, guys identify with that.

19:31 Dr. Marcel Yeah.

19:31 Dr. Marcel It's their personality.

19:33 Dr. Marcel You could have used the takes all kinds, and that would have been acceptable. Yeah. Alright, I'm just letting you have that. If you ever get stuck, by the way, you go...

19:42 Dr. Marcel Just go with takes all kinds.

19:43 Dr. Marcel You go, it takes all kinds, or you should... or if you get... if someone contradicts you and they're right, you say, yeah, but still.

19:54 Dr. Marcel Does Drew have got this all polished?

19:56 Dr. Marcel No, Drew has... Drew does none of this because he doesn't really pay attention during the show. But I'm just saying, like, if you go... if you go... like, if you ever make... if you ever make one of these statements where you go, you know, if the Dodgers could get some pitching, they could really... they could really make a run at the West this year. And somebody goes, their team averages the best ERA in sports, you go, yeah, but still. Yeah. See, now you're done. Time to move on. Yeah. Nothing we could do. You can't argue with you, but still, it's just, it ends the argument and it's a tie, even though you lost. You see what I'm saying?

20:28 Dr. Marcel No, I do.

20:29 Dr. Marcel Just saying that and it takes all kinds and you don't really have to answer.

20:33 Dr. Marcel It does.

20:34 Dr. Marcel To anybody. All right, let's talk. So tell him to take the hoop out or he gets no more of the nookie. And let's talk to Stephanie, who's 19. Stephanie? What's up, baby doll?

20:49 Dr. Marcel OK, like every relationship I have, I can't seem to make it last longer than like two weeks. Like for like the first week or two, the guy will like love me. Like he'll be like almost obsessed with me, it seems. But then, like after that, he like won't talk to me at all and I don't get any explanation or anything. And I have no idea why.

21:11 Dr. Marcel Well, are you having sex with these guys?

21:13 Dr. Marcel No.

21:16 Dr. Marcel So what do you do? But are you guys calling each other boyfriend and girlfriend or are you just going out on dates?

21:24 Dr. Marcel Just like, well like dating and they'll call me a lot. They'll call me like three times a day or sometimes more. You know? And like they act like they like me a lot. You know? We'll just go on dates and stuff.

21:37 Dr. Marcel How far do you get with them physically?

21:40 Dr. Marcel Well, actually, I'm saving sex for marriage, so usually just making out and stuff.

21:48 Dr. Marcel And what did you tell them? You're saving sex for marriage?

21:51 Dr. Marcel Yeah.

21:52 Dr. Marcel Oh, these horrible phone lines. See, here's why it's an evil curse. We're the only two people on the planet who can't hear her answer, by the way, when she says yes or no. Oh, really? Yes. Everyone around the country can hear her answer but us.

22:06 Dr. Marcel Oh, good.

22:07 Dr. Marcel Could you think of anything that's more effed up? Sorry, we didn't hear you, Stephanie. Do you tell them that you're saving sex for marriage?

22:17 Dr. Marcel Yes, but still.

22:18 Dr. Marcel No, it's yeah, but still.

22:20 Dr. Marcel Yeah, but still.

22:21 Dr. Marcel Yes is a little too formal and it takes all kinds. All right, Stephanie. You're saving. See, it keeps cutting out when you give your answer. What did she say, Anderson?

22:33 Yes. All right.

22:34 Dr. Marcel Are you saving sex for marriage and do you tell them this?

22:37 Dr. Marcel Yes, I do. I tell them.

22:40 Dr. Marcel Well, that would be a deal breaker for a lot of guys.

22:43 Dr. Marcel Well, but like it's like part of my religion and like most of the guys I do date are like have the same beliefs as me. So they see they're saving it too.

22:53 Dr. Marcel What's your religion?

22:55 Dr. Marcel I'm Mormon.

22:56 Dr. Marcel Ah, OK. So you're dating other guys that are saying, yeah, but they're saving it because you're saving it. If you weren't saving it, they wouldn't save it. It's it's it's one of those things. I'm sure I could convince 95 percent of the Mormon guys to give it up if and they had a nice Mormon girl who was willing to bend the rules just a little bit. And I don't know, as a guy, I'm not sure, you know, I'm not sure what my angle would be on saving it. I would probably say, oh, you know, I respect that and then see what I could do for a couple of weeks. You know what I mean?

23:32 Dr. Marcel Right.

23:33 Dr. Marcel Really work on it a little bit. I'm not, you know, I'm not saying roofies, but wine coolers. You know what I'm saying?

23:41 Dr. Marcel Candles, wine coolers.

23:42 Dr. Marcel Yeah. Just see if we could get something going. Now, the best way is to pretend like you respect it and you don't want to do it either. Stephanie? Yeah. OK. Well, here's the deal. You're 19. You have a very specific religion, which sort of limits things a little bit. So all bets are off. But at 19, it's hard, like, look, people call the show all the time and say 17, 18, 19, 20, and they go, every guy I date does this. Every time I do that, it does this. Every relationship turns out this way. You can't make that claim before 25.

24:14 Dr. Marcel Yeah, you're still figuring things out at 19.

24:16 Dr. Marcel That's right.

24:17 Dr. Marcel And? Yes, but still.

24:19 Dr. Marcel No.

24:20 Dr. Marcel Yeah, but still. It takes all kinds. That was that one.

24:23 Dr. Marcel Yeah, yes, but still, it's way too, it's way too formal. It's gonna be more casual. Yeah, but still.

24:30 Dr. Marcel Yeah, but still.

24:31 Dr. Marcel Yeah. All right. So Stephanie, don't worry about it. There you go. All right. Find some nice LDS guy and spread the good news. So what do you guys, what do you guys got? What's different about being a Mormon? What do you guys got over there? I'm looking for a religion. I'm getting older now. I'm looking, you know, I was, I was actually, I was, you know, when I was put under yesterday, nothing better going under. No, I just saw my underpants missing. But I thought to myself, really, like, they give you the big talk, like they were saying to me, oh, you're so calm. You're so calm. And I kept saying, if I go under and die in my sleep, I don't really care. You'll never know it. Right. I'm not going to hear. I don't want to die in the dentist chair. Like, I don't I get nervous when I'm going to be awake for procedures. If you tell me we're putting you under, then you put me under. And if I don't come back, I wouldn't even know it.

25:27 Dr. Marcel You signed all that paperwork.

25:28 Dr. Marcel I signed all the paperwork. Everything's cool. I got enough in the bank. The old lady will be fine. Dad's, you know, renew the lease on the car. I'm getting them or something. But I just thought to myself, you know, as an atheist, if I die and don't know I die, I don't I'm not that worried about it. I never really I know it's there's a lot of ego wrapped up in this. What I don't want to do is, you know, I don't want to be, you know, I want Shiite Muslims to take me captive and tell me we got till Friday before the prison prisoner release. Otherwise, Corolla's head's coming off that I don't want to go that way. But if you just put me to sleep and never wake up. Carbon monoxide is a good way to go for that.

26:10 Oh, yeah.

26:10 Dr. Marcel If you're looking for a way out. Dr. Marcel is a board certified plastic surgeon. Maybe one of the best in the country.

26:19 Maybe.

26:19 Dr. Marcel Thank you. Maybe.

26:21 Dr. Marcel I don't know any other ones, but he seems quite confident. Yeah, but still. Dr. Drew is, but still in Boston and he's going to be back in a couple of days. We'll come back. We'll talk to you about, see if we can, Brian, see if we can line up some plastic surgery calls because I'm sure people are going to want to capitalize on Marcel's expertise. So we'll be right back after this. Hello.

26:46 This is your radio.

27:10 Dr. Marcel I'm Adam. That's Dr. Marcel. Dr. Marcel filling in for Dr. Drew. Dr. Drew is in Boston with his wife.

27:19 Dr. Marcel Vacation?

27:21 Dr. Marcel I just, when you're with Drew's wife, you can't call it a vacation.

27:24 Dr. Marcel Gotcha.

27:25 Dr. Marcel I don't know what you call it. I think you just call it travel. But I just couldn't call it a vacation. She is also Drew's with the kids. I think his daughter is doing some ice skating thing. And let me say this, parents, about getting your kids into stuff. It could backfire on you. You want them to do stuff. You want them to ice skate. You want them to play the violin. You want them to piano. Next thing you know, there's a recital and you got to go. My parents were smart about this. They didn't give me any of that nonsense. Because they knew, well, all right, so you do this. And the next thing you know, you're following her to Boston for the ice capades. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. But it's a very slippery slope. You keep your kid in the closet, you raise them like veal, and that's fine. You let them fend for themselves. All right. So Marcel is here tonight. Marcel is not only Dr. Drew's ex-roommate at USC, but a dear, dear, dear friend as well.

28:22 Dr. Marcel Fight on.

28:23 Dr. Marcel Also a great plastic surgeon. So if you have any questions pertaining to his field of expertise tonight, we'll take those because tonight is the night. And then I think later on this week, Dr. Alter is going to come in here, the ironically and yet unfortunately named Dr. Alter, who does, do you know this guy?

28:45 Dr. Marcel No.

28:45 Dr. Marcel He, he, he's a strange, he's a strange cat because he is one of the number one guys in genital.

28:53 Dr. Marcel Reassignment.

28:53 Dr. Marcel Reconstruction, reassignment and all this other nonsense. And the number one argument, by the way, that these guys always make, which I always find bizarre, is they go, well, no, no, you understand there's a woman trapped inside a man's body. Like we're going to go, oh, I didn't know he had, I didn't know he had a Pina Vaginosmus. Like like it's some sort of condition or something. Oh, there's a woman in there. Oh, I see. Oh, and you're just freeing her up. You're, you're basically, basically it's like you're like an attorney getting a guy who was falsely accused off a death row. Is that the way you're looking at it? No, what you've got is a nut job trapped inside a man's body. You don't have a woman trapped inside a man's body. And they're like, yeah, and here's what I always say to them. What if I said Napoleon was trapped inside of me? What are you going to do? You're going to get them out? You're going to, you're going to get out the scalpel and get, get them out of there and get out the medicine or, yeah, we just going to do a little more therapy to perhaps talk to me or here's a better idea. What if I just said my left arm was possessed, couldn't stop punching myself in the head. Would you cut it off because I wanted to get rid of it? Or does it just mean I'm effing nuts? They always have difficulty with the two, those two questions. And by the way, we never really met anyone who had gender reassignment that A, was happy when they were done with it or a changed person. You know, they do this thing where it's like, well, I got a woman trapped inside, you know, my body. So as soon as I, you know, get Geraldine out of Gerald, I'm going to be fine. And then they just become an effed up sort of tranny kind of guy whose parents hate them with sort of a vagina. Look like an M80 went off in it. You know what I mean? You're not painting a pretty picture here. Well, look, I got to be honest. We had a guy in here like Renee or he she or it's a she that went to a he. I get so confused after a while. The guy, the guy was, you know, for 30 years trapped inside a woman's body or man's. This was a this was a man trapped inside a woman's body, which you don't hear that much. But for 30 years, the guy was that way miserable, of course, when you're trapped inside the wrong body and then had the surgery. And you, Chris, you ever seen a guy more miserable? No. Angry, irritated. Yeah. So that's what you get. I thought that guy was going to punch me like eight times. And I was scared. And then I kept thinking, wait a minute, it's a chick. I could beat her up. But it was a dude. But it was like a chick with some gristle, you know, but like with like with a guy. I'm thinking like like a pork link that spent too much time on the grill. Like, you know, the one that ends up there at the end of the barbecue.

31:30 Dr. Marcel Right.

31:31 Dr. Marcel The one that falls between the grill, lands on the coals. I didn't look, but that's what I'm imagining.

31:36 Dr. Marcel Oh, you didn't look.

31:37 Dr. Marcel I didn't look because it was like, well, how'd the surgery go? It's a work in progress. Nobody except for Jesus. You can't make. How can you?

31:45 Dr. Marcel It's tough to make a good Audi out of an Innie.

31:48 Dr. Marcel It really is.

31:49 Adam Nobody's my hero except for Jesus.

31:51 Dr. Marcel Oh, yeah. Here's his comment.

31:54 Adam Nobody's my hero except for Jesus.

31:56 Dr. Marcel Yeah. And they're always love Jesus too. Yeah. Very ironic. Jesus, huge fan of swapping the junk out, what I know of it. I mean, I'm an atheist, but I do know one thing about Jesus. He loves the junk swapping. That's like his number one thing. If he was running for president and I don't know why he would have to run, he would probably just come down and pronounce himself president. But if he was, that would be the number one plank in his platform. Junk swapping. I want all the he's to become she's and the she's to become he's. All right. So anyway, all thirst coming in here. Maybe tomorrow, maybe the next day. I can't quite remember. As fun as it is to bash him, he is board certified in plastic surgery and in urology, which takes a little studying to do, yes?

32:46 Dr. Marcel Yeah.

32:46 Dr. Marcel Vince?

32:47 Dr. Marcel Yes.

32:48 Dr. Marcel You're 24?

32:49 Dr. Marcel That's right.

32:50 Dr. Marcel What's up?

32:51 Dr. Marcel I had a question. I grew up like an over-age kid, and I basically lost all the weight pretty much.

32:59 Dr. Marcel How much weight did you lose?

33:02 Dr. Marcel Maybe like 50 pounds.

33:06 Dr. Marcel How did you do that?

33:08 Dr. Marcel Actually, I got a construction gig, summer gig, and I lost it all.

33:12 Dr. Marcel Really?

33:15 Dr. Marcel Just masonry work and stuff like that.

33:18 Dr. Marcel Just hauling them cinder blocks.

33:19 Dr. Marcel Yeah.

33:20 Adam I lost all that.

33:21 Dr. Marcel But the problem is now, I got excess slab. You know how you see some guys from behind, they're just straight. They don't got no love handles or anything like that. They got like a belly. You wouldn't tell that they were fat from behind, but you know, you got some extra skin. But what I got is a love handle. I kind of got like the man boobs going on. But when I wear a t-shirt, it just looks like I got like I got pecks and stuff. But it's really just.

33:50 Dr. Marcel How much you weigh now?

33:52 Dr. Marcel 180 and I'm 5'11. But it's mostly like I could grab the skin and pull it.

34:04 Dr. Marcel Well, there's surgeries to deal with this, but shouldn't this have taken care of itself in a 24-year-old guy who wasn't morbidly obese?

34:12 Dr. Marcel Well, if he was overweight even as a teen, sometimes you get something called gynecomastia, a little excess breast development, and then even weight loss is not going to affect that. Right.

34:24 Dr. Marcel Yeah. Drew always says it's because they smoke pot. I'm like, would you shut up?

34:29 Dr. Marcel Not always.

34:29 Dr. Marcel No, not even ever. Well, if you're going to get it, you're going to get it. And if you're not going to get it. Look, I know guys who smoke tons of weed and they never had this prom. And then there are guys who have that prom. It's never connected to the weed. He's just trying to scare the kids. So if you got the gynecomastia, that's a surgical procedure, right?

34:48 Dr. Marcel Yeah, it usually is.

34:49 Dr. Marcel Events?

34:50 Dr. Marcel Yeah. So you would recommend that?

34:55 Dr. Marcel Well, I'd recommend you see a board-certified plastic surgeon to look at your skin tone, to look if you have good skin elasticity, if you have some excess fatty deposits that are still present.

35:08 Dr. Marcel What about this new European thing that Dr. Bruce was talking about?

35:12 Dr. Marcel The injecting into the fat?

35:13 Dr. Marcel The injecting thing. I saw something on it on like 2020. It seemed like it could work, but I'm not sure. Bruce came in here raving about it, although, you know, he's Dr. Spaz, so you never know what to believe. What about, and by the way, what we're talking about is, instead of the lipo for like the love handles, series of injections that liquefy the fat or something gets absorbed or what is it? It's from Europe, so it's got to be good. Yeah. Every skincare product, everything has to do with beauty, it's either Norwegian Fisherman or it's, you know, from the Champs-Elysees.

35:51 Dr. Marcel I haven't seen a peer-reviewed article in my literature that has mentioned anything about the efficacy of something like this, and it's kind of, I adopt a wait and see attitude. You remember years ago, there was that skinny dip cream, you were going to, women could rub it on their thighs, it would make them melt away, you're going to put guys like me out of business.

36:09 Dr. Marcel Right.

36:10 Dr. Marcel Well, you know.

36:10 Dr. Marcel Still here, still driving the Porsche.

36:12 Dr. Marcel Still sucking fat.

36:13 Dr. Marcel That's right.

36:13 Dr. Marcel You know, so. I mean, if this stuff is going to work, great.

36:17 Dr. Marcel Yeah, I, you know, well, there's some stuff sounds like, you know, this, you know, the magic pill stuff doesn't work. This involves a multi-series of injections, so, and it's very expensive, so.

36:28 Dr. Marcel Ultimately, it might, it'll probably cost just as much as traditional liposuction, and who knows?

36:33 Dr. Marcel No, it is. He was saying, you know, for one section, one body part, you had to have, you know, hundreds of injections.

36:39 Dr. Marcel Yeah, and see, it'll just allow more non-surgeons to do cosmetic stuff.

36:45 Dr. Marcel Yeah, which I hear, by the way, everyone, because of the popularity of cosmetic surgery, everyone's sort of sliding over that direction.

36:53 Dr. Marcel Your OB-GYN is sucking fat, your family practice guy.

36:57 Dr. Marcel Every yahoo with a stethoscope is trying to jump on this bandwagon.

37:01 Dr. Marcel Well, they're trying to, you know, feather their bottom line because of managed care.

37:05 Dr. Marcel Yeah, because they're not being able to make enough money doing that. Yeah, it's tough. Yeah. Drew never stops complaining about that, by the way.

37:12 Dr. Marcel Oh, really?

37:13 Dr. Marcel Oh, Drew, Drew will look in the eye and tell you loses money as a doctor. I was telling him to shut up, but he's, you know, he gets all, he gets all sanctimonious and righteous on you and the 14 years of school and it cost me $20 to see a patient.

37:28 Dr. Marcel No, he doesn't have a point.

37:29 Dr. Marcel I know. Well, then go do something else. Quit complaining. Vince? Yeah. Oh, we already talked to you. That's right. Marcel, you're supposed to move the sticker around and tell me a puffy nipples. Dan? Oh no, that's too gross. I don't want to talk to two guys. I thought it was a chick. I saw the puffy nipples. Stephanie, penis size, lipo on ankles. That's an interesting one. I never heard that question. Anna? Yeah? You want to know if it's possible to do a lipo suction on ankles? Have you done that before, Marcel?

38:00 Dr. Marcel I've gone down into the calves, low calves, but actually around the ankles, there's very few people that have much fat there that they're going to benefit.

38:10 Dr. Marcel So some women and guys, for that matter, but women, the sort of cankle thing where it just almost seems like a straight line from the knee down to the ankle.

38:17 Dr. Marcel That's mostly fat then in the lower calf area and it just then there's no real break between the calf and the ankle. So you can refine that area. It's just you have to use real small tubes and you have to be prepared for a lot of swelling. You know, their shoes are not going to fit for a while.

38:33 Dr. Marcel Because of gravity.

38:34 Dr. Marcel Right.

38:34 Dr. Marcel Right. So you would work, I mean, you're saying, Anna, you're saying the ankles, but you're really talking about the area above the ankle.

38:42 Dr. Marcel Just above your ankle bones?

38:44 Dr. Marcel It's right on my ankle and a little bit below. It's like I have swollen feet.

38:49 Dr. Marcel You might have swollen feet.

38:51 Dr. Marcel For the past seven years since I've had my daughter.

38:55 Dr. Marcel Ah, well, it might not be fat. It might just be the fact that you just don't have great circulation anymore. You might have, you know, some bad venous circulation. You could have some edema down there. It might not be related to any fat at all. You should definitely have someone take a look at you. I mean, when you push your fingers in it, do you leave a little fingerprint?

39:15 Dr. Marcel It's just kind of like a bubble almost. Not like a liquid is in there, but it's more squishy.

39:20 Dr. Marcel Yeah, then it might not be fat at all. It might just be that you have some bad circulation.

39:24 Dr. Marcel So if you put your finger into an area and it leaves an imprint, it's not fat?

39:29 Dr. Marcel It's probably not fat. It's too much fluid, right.

39:32 Dr. Marcel Okay. And in the ankles could be because of the circulation. And this way people get varicose veins and things like that.

39:36 Dr. Marcel Exactly. She's had a kid. All right.

39:39 Dr. Marcel Now, should she just go to her general doctor or should she see?

39:43 Dr. Marcel She should at least see her family practice doctor first, see if she has some circulation problems. If they really feel it's fat and it's something you can pinch and it feels like fat, then certainly you could have it refined.

39:54 Dr. Marcel Okay. Dr. Marcel is here. He's a board certified plastic surgeon and an ex-roommate of Dr. Drew, who was you guys room together for how long at USC? For a year. He's a man of exquisite passion, yes?

40:08 Dr. Marcel Yes, he is.

40:09 Dr. Marcel Yes, he is. He is and you are no slouch in the passion department yourself.

40:14 Dr. Marcel I don't hold a candle to him.

40:15 Dr. Marcel I know because here's the whole thing about passion. It's almost like it's like being athletic, you may be the Larry Bird of passion where all the extra hours in the gym refining the free throws, working nights on the layups and the fundamentals and sure you end up becoming a high quality NBA caliber player, but you don't have the vertical leap of Michael Jordan and Drew has the vertical passion leap. He does. You can't have a 33-inch vertical leap unless you got the hops and that's not anything you can teach anybody. You either got that or you don't and Dr. Drew has that in the passion department. He's got a motor going in him like a weed whacker. I have sort of a steam engine, you know, but he's a, yeah.

41:07 Dr. Marcel 8-cylinder, fire in a way.

41:09 Dr. Marcel Yeah, he's just all cylinders and redlining at 10 grand. His passion. But like I said, you're no slouch in the passion department and I bet the two of you being, you know, med students, Southern California, could have done worse, right?

41:23 Dr. Marcel Oh yeah.

41:26 Dr. Marcel We'll take ourselves a little break, Dr. Marcel, plastic surgeon and passionate, passionate man. And maybe the only reason for your passion is being in the proximity of Drew's passion for all those years.

41:37 Dr. Marcel I basked in it.

41:37 Dr. Marcel I basked in his passion. And I think some rubbed off on you.

41:39 Dr. Marcel Yeah. Oh yeah.

41:40 Dr. Marcel I'll take a look. Thank you. We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Marcel. Filling in for Dr. Drew. Dr. Drew is in Boston and we'll be back in just a couple of few days. All right, 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1, Lit is going to be in here tomorrow night and then Kathy Griffin is going to be in here the following night and then later in the week we have Pat Oswalt and Brian Posehn, two funny guys who I'm sure you'll recognize when I tell you who they are. All right, so Jaffa, is that who we want to talk to? Penis pierced?

42:42 Dr. Marcel Why not?

42:43 Dr. Marcel Jaffa? Twenty?

42:47 Dr. Marcel I recently got my penis pierced about two weeks ago and I'm just wondering, you know, me and my girlfriend, we had a little, not necessarily sex, but we had, you know, I guess a close enough encounter for me to wonder, you know, is, can I get into any health problems I can get?

43:02 Dr. Marcel From her because your piercing is fresh.

43:06 Dr. Marcel Yeah. I wonder, you know, sometimes I get a little bleeding sometimes. Like, you know, when you get a bloody nose and it's not heavy, but I mean, you know, sometimes you get a little blood going on.

43:14 Dr. Marcel Yeah. All right. So, Bruce, I mean, so I was in here for three days, Marcel, killing me. It took me. Well, it took me a while to quit calling Bruce Drew and then it'll take me a while to stop calling you Bruce. And then when Dr. Alter gets in here, it'll take me a while for me to stop calling you, Marcel. Or Jackass. But here's the thing. There's an open. Now, if you haven't, it's an opening down there, then that's an avenue, right?

43:42 Dr. Marcel That's right.

43:43 Dr. Marcel And if you get a penis piercing like this, you've got to wait until everything's fully healed, right?

43:50 Dr. Marcel I mean, it can take six weeks for it to be fully epithelialized and not raw and technically watertight and safe.

44:00 Dr. Marcel But if she doesn't have anything, what can he get?

44:04 Dr. Marcel Probably, well, I mean, if it's still raw, he could just get a regular infection. I mean, the vagina is full of bacteria.

44:10 Dr. Marcel It is the Devil's Playground, it's a bear trap in there. Yeah, yeah. It's like one of those Burmese tiger traps where you think you're just walking over palm fronds and next thing you know, down into sharp bamboo covered in dung.

44:24 Dr. Marcel Exactly.

44:25 Dr. Marcel Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Marcel's fallen in that hole many a time, many a time.

44:32 Dr. Marcel Yes, but still.

44:32 Dr. Marcel Many a time. Yeah, but still. But this is what you get is a man who roomed with such passion.

44:40 Dr. Marcel Yeah.

44:40 Dr. Marcel Yeah. All right. So Java, you should wait until the thing is fully healed, fully healed before you go stinking it anywhere. Yeah. And you're going to have to just focus on the handies until then. What can you do to aid the healing?

44:56 Dr. Marcel Just avoid trauma, avoid trauma to it.

44:59 Dr. Marcel And like keep a little air circulating?

45:02 Dr. Marcel Actually moist healing with a little bit of antibiotic ointment or something will probably help it heal faster.

45:07 Dr. Marcel Oh, really?

45:08 Dr. Marcel Yeah.

45:08 Dr. Marcel See, I always thought like you got to cut.

45:10 Dr. Marcel Well, that was a misnomer.

45:11 Dr. Marcel It was?

45:11 Dr. Marcel Yeah.

45:12 Dr. Marcel Well, okay. So if you get a cut on your finger and you put a band-aid on it.

45:16 Dr. Marcel That keeps it too wet.

45:17 Dr. Marcel When you wake up at night, it's still, wake up the next morning, it's still kind of gooey.

45:20 Dr. Marcel Yeah. Well, that's just it. There's, it's kind of like the porridge. It's got to be not too dry, not too moist, just right.

45:26 Dr. Marcel Right.

45:27 Dr. Marcel Yeah. So you want to just lightly moisten with maybe a little, you know, brown sugar, basitracin, you know, the antibiotic ointment. And just slightly, lightly moistened and that way it, you maximize wound healing.

45:39 Dr. Marcel All right. Let's see. Let's talk to Judy real fast. Who's having a plastic surgery on her nose. Judy. You, you're getting, getting a nose job? Uh-huh.

45:50 Dr. Marcel For your 18th birthday?

45:52 Dr. Marcel It's kind of a graduation present.

45:53 Dr. Marcel Yeah.

45:53 Dr. Marcel Oh, there you go.

45:54 Dr. Marcel Wow.

45:54 Dr. Marcel A lot of that's going around.

45:55 Dr. Marcel Oh, yeah.

45:56 Dr. Marcel America's disgusted by it, by the way, especially the boob jobs and nose jobs. I don't think, I don't think they care about as much. Yeah. So they're going to get that straightened out. And do you have a question for Marcel?

46:07 Dr. Marcel Yeah. Like, how much do you, like, do you usually do it for and, like, how often do you do it and, like, where's your office and stuff and, like, you know, that type of stuff about you?

46:16 Dr. Marcel Well, everybody has things that they do a lot of. And honestly, of all the things that I do, I do the least amount of noses. I would, in interviewing a plastic surgeon, I would ask he or she, you know, what their area of expertise was, what percentage of their practice was, rhinoplasty or nose surgery.

46:36 Dr. Marcel Let me cut you off because we got to take a break, but Judy, just hang on the line and we'll get back with you. All right. We'll figure this out because, yeah, you don't want some guy whose specialty is everything because it means his specialty is nothing.

46:47 Dr. Marcel Yeah.

46:47 Dr. Marcel Thank you. All right. We'll get back. Judy, by the way, number one name for nose jobs.

46:54 Dr. Marcel You think?

46:54 Dr. Marcel Yeah. Much less best than there are Judys in the rhinoplasty department. I've done my own research. Dr. Marcel is here, plastic surgeon to the stars, although he's never actually worked on one, but his card still says that. We'll be right back after this.

47:11 Adam Here's the deal. You're looking to hook up? Sick of wasting time with the wrong person?

47:15 Caller One call is all you need to make.

47:17 Adam Call the Dateline. 877-889-DATE. Call the Dateline.

47:59 Dr. Marcel All right, please turn that down. I'm getting, Jesus Christ, a headache here. Oh, Dr. Marcel in here, filling in for Dr. Drew. Getting some of these plastic surgery questions coming in, which is Dr. Marcel's field of expertise. You know, I just started thinking about the plastic surgery, and...

48:21 Dr. Marcel Oh, no, I'm scared.

48:23 Dr. Marcel I know, you should be, because it's going to get ugly. But I was thinking, you know, okay, you know I hate publicists. You know, I don't feel that way about plastic surgeons. But here's the reason I hate publicists. And these are the people... By the way, for those of you who aren't from the Los Angeles area, publicists are something that gets in between the celebrity and the person that wants them to do their show and explains them why they can't do their show, and then blackmails the people into having lesser people they represent come on the show, and holding the big name celebrity out is bait. And they're hateful, awful people. They're like, you think you hated attorneys. This is like picture gay attorney with a serious sense of entitlement. Now you got publicists. So they're wretched people. And if anybody wants to know how publicists work, many years ago I was supposed to do the Craig Kilborn show. And that was going to be the lead guest. And at the last moment they said, you're going to have to go on second behind Rebecca Gayheart, who is the best known as the noxema chick who ran over the Mexican kid when she was high, as far as I know. And I don't know if she's in the joint now or wherever she is. You'd recognize her if you saw her. The Kilborn people didn't want her to go on before me. At the time I was doing a couple of popular TV shows and I'd been a guest on the Kilborn show numerous times. Numerous times it worked out well. They wanted me to go on first. Her publicist got involved and said, if Rebecca doesn't go on first, then you can't have Tom Cruise or whoever. And so what it does is it creates a sort of false market, which is the Kilborn people want me to go on first. I almost said Adam Carolla. That would have been... You would have had to just hit me with the coffee mug if I said that. The Kilborn people wanted Adam Corolla to go on first. The audience wanted to see Adam Corolla first. But Rebecca Gayheart had to go on first because the publicist got involved. And then what ends up happening is you need a publicist not for you, but to do battle with other people's publicists. And this is sort of what happens with attorneys. Eventually, everyone's just got to get an attorney to do battle with other people's attorneys. I don't need a publicist for myself. I need a publicist to do battle with Rebecca Gayheart's publicist. That's what this town has turned into. So hateful people. Remember, just, again, just think gay attorney when you think publicist. And that's all you need to know. Now, plastic surgery, I've realized, is creating the same sort of thing. It's like steroid use in the Olympics, which is, hey, wait a minute. Those of us who are natural, it's not fair. We're, you know, everyone's had, you know, everyone's had at least, you know, I mean, it goes, you know, a lot of us didn't have braces growing up. People get in the liposuction. People, you know, I mean, you can work out and all that stuff, but it's not going to do anything for a big nose or double chin, per se. A lot of people out there are getting a lot of work done and putting, and it's equivalent to the Olympic athlete on the juice. What do you say to that? How do you respond to that?

51:39 Dr. Marcel Yeah, but still. No, I mean, I deal with people with self-esteem issues, and certainly a lot of the things that plastic surgeons have to offer people improves their self-esteem, and it can make a difference.

51:52 Dr. Marcel But what about the people who are sort of chronic users of plastic surgery? Do you find that...

51:59 Dr. Marcel Well, no, you do get addicts to it, yeah.

52:01 Dr. Marcel Do people... I would assume that most people don't just have one procedure and leave your office and never to be seen again. I would imagine that there's a certain group of society that... They don't want to look like Barbie, but I just mean, once you're familiar with doing something, you do more.

52:22 Dr. Marcel Obviously someone that's willing to go to a surgical solution for changing their appearance is going to be open to other potential surgical procedures down the road. Certainly if you see someone in their 20s and you do their breasts, for example, and they're happy with the work that you did, you can usually count on them coming back in their 30s or 40s to do their eyelids or to eventually do their facelift.

52:46 Dr. Marcel Have you seen people 15 years from when you did your...

52:50 Dr. Marcel I've been in practice now 14 years. I'm now seeing that second generation of patients that are coming back in that I operated on when I first started out.

52:58 Dr. Marcel Really?

52:59 Dr. Marcel Yeah. It's kind of an annuity sort of a situation.

53:02 Dr. Marcel Are you better than you were?

53:03 Dr. Marcel I sure hope so.

53:04 Dr. Marcel Yeah. All right. So you don't want to... Oh, we're talking to Judy.

53:08 Dr. Marcel Yeah, it was Judy.

53:09 Dr. Marcel Yeah, Judy.

53:11 Dr. Marcel I really do need the surgery because my nose is really messed up. It's completely unusual. I've never seen anybody else with my type of nose. Because the bone widens out. It doesn't go narrow. It goes outward instead. It's very unusual.

53:27 Dr. Marcel I would say, by the way, nose job, especially on a woman, has got to be the number one. I mean, I don't mean the number one surgery performed, but some of this stuff, it's like, come on, sweetie, you're 18. You don't need this or that. But if you have a very unusual nose as a female...

53:44 Dr. Marcel Certainly, it can make a big difference...

53:45 Dr. Marcel .living in Los Angeles, you get this done.

53:48 Dr. Marcel Now, Judy, the best advice I can give you is, especially if you think you have such an unusually shaped nose, which might make it more difficult or more of a finesse procedure than a standard rhinoplasty, make sure that the surgeon that you pick has a particular interest in rhinoplasty and possibly can show you some examples of people with similar problems and the results he or she was able to get for that person. Don't be afraid to ask questions just because they say that they're a plastic surgeon and yeah, I can do your nose and give me $10,000. I mean, you know, you are the consumer. You have a right to know what you're buying.

54:25 Dr. Marcel And how much is your general rhinoplasty?

54:28 Dr. Marcel It really depends on the amount of work that's going to get done. The surgeon's fees can run anywhere from $2,000, $3,000, $4,000, $5,000 on up. Yeah, that's about right.

54:40 Dr. Marcel All right, so just ask the tough questions.

54:44 Dr. Marcel And don't, you know, always get more than one opinion. Everyone that comes to see me, I tell them, don't take my word on it. Get another opinion on the surgery. And whoever you choose, hopefully, is the one that makes the most sense to you.

54:57 Dr. Marcel Marcel, you don't send them to another office, do you?

55:00 Dr. Marcel You know what I tell them? I go, go get two and three, four opinions, because everyone you get after me is going to make me look better.

55:06 Dr. Marcel Oh, really? Yeah, good reverse psychology. Very good.

55:11 Dr. Marcel Thanks.

55:11 Dr. Marcel Let me ask you this. I don't know why I was thinking about this. I was thinking about the, you know, the actress Calista Flockhart?

55:17 Dr. Marcel Yeah.

55:18 Dr. Marcel Ally McBeal?

55:18 Dr. Marcel Yeah.

55:19 Dr. Marcel She looks like she's had a nose job. And then I started to think there are certain people that look like they've had a nose job when they haven't had a nose job. Maybe she has had a nose job. But there are certain people that have the after nose.

55:32 Dr. Marcel Right. It looks very refined. It looks very sharp, almost angular.

55:38 Dr. Marcel Yes. And it looks like what it looks like after you get a nose job. I always feel sorry for the people who never actually got a nose job.

55:44 Dr. Marcel Everyone assumes that.

55:46 Dr. Marcel Even though, well, you've got the ideal shape, obviously, because everyone's trying to go from point A to U. But then everyone assumes, oh, you're an actress. Is it Flockhart Berg or a man? Like, come on, what's going on, sister? Now, could you look at someone like that and go, looks like she...

56:03 Dr. Marcel I mean, sometimes there are visual tip-offs that, you know, tell you, yes, they probably have had it. And other times it, you know, you can be fooled.

56:11 Dr. Marcel Yeah. Now, what would you say with her, for instance?

56:14 Dr. Marcel I've really paid that much attention to her.

56:17 Dr. Marcel Engineer Chris, me too. You've beat off to Callista Flockhart millions of times, yes?

56:22 Dr. Marcel Of course.

56:22 Dr. Marcel Way to punch the mic, buddy. All right, pull her up on the Internet.

56:27 Dr. Marcel Yeah.

56:27 Dr. Marcel And or if you have a wallet size, are you carrying a picture of her?

56:31 Dr. Marcel No, I forgot that at home.

56:32 Dr. Marcel Okay. It's on the visor of his truck, actually. If you could pull up a picture of her, and we're going to show Marcel and tell him what he thinks. It just popped into my head. Yeah, too bony for me.

56:44 Dr. Marcel Yeah, too many edges.

56:46 Dr. Marcel Yeah, that's right. You cut yourself. You've got to get a tetanus shot after being with a woman like that. Jason? Yeah, especially a man who's bathed in the passionate glow of Dr. Drew for a full two semesters. Go ahead, Jason.

57:06 Adam Yeah, I was saying how I got a piercing. Alright.

57:13 Dr. Marcel Yeah, you have to take the piercing out. Take it out and leave it out. Once you take the foreign body out, then your body is able to heal the infection.

57:22 Dr. Marcel What about leaving it in and trying to work around it? It's tough.

57:25 Dr. Marcel It's tough sometimes. Once bacteria get established around a foreign body, it's tough for your body to overcome that.

57:32 Dr. Marcel What if you slept with your penis in a balloon of hydrogen peroxide like I do?

57:39 Dr. Marcel Hydrogen peroxide is one of the worst things you can actually do for a cut.

57:43 Dr. Marcel I don't have a cut.

57:45 Dr. Marcel If you just like to bathe in the bubbles, it's probably okay.

57:48 Dr. Marcel I'm trying to turn my pubes blonde.

57:50 Dr. Marcel If you have any kind of an open wound, I mean, we get...

57:53 Dr. Marcel Hydrogen peroxide, not good.

57:55 Dr. Marcel It's full strength hydrogen peroxide actually can slow down wound healing.

57:58 Dr. Marcel Really?

57:59 Dr. Marcel Yeah, if you're going to use it on a cut, dilute it in half with tap water.

58:03 Dr. Marcel Oh, really?

58:04 Dr. Marcel It's too strong.

58:05 Dr. Marcel Give us some tips, like what about Bactene?

58:08 Dr. Marcel It's an antiseptic. It's probably too harsh.

58:10 Dr. Marcel It probably is. I mean, is it just getting back to soap and water for most of the stuff?

58:15 Dr. Marcel It gets back to a kinder, more gentler way of dealing with wounds.

58:19 Dr. Marcel So you shouldn't be wincing when you're spraying stuff on.

58:21 Dr. Marcel Yeah, you don't be dipping it and rubbing alcohol.

58:24 Dr. Marcel Right. Rubbing alcohol, no good. Bactene may be a little harsh, hydrogen peroxide. More water and soap.

58:30 Dr. Marcel Soapy water, a little bit of antibacterial ointment just to keep it lightly moist. Neosporin? Neosporin can be good. About 10% of people get sensitive to it. So if anyone is using either Neosporin or Polysporin, any of the creams or lotions there, if you start to notice that instead of getting better, it gets worse, it gets more red, more irritated, you're probably sensitive to it, so stop using it.

58:53 Dr. Marcel Jason's 19. If he put any Neosporin on his junk, I imagine he would go through the tube pretty quickly. Guys cannot put a viscous lubricant on their penis. Nothing that has a petroleum base for any real period of time before it just turns into masturbation, yes?

59:13 Dr. Marcel Possibly, possibly.

59:14 Dr. Marcel It takes all kinds.

59:15 Dr. Marcel It does.

59:16 Dr. Marcel Did you find that picture of Callista? Yep, I did. It's got a nice shot of her nose in it. Right. Marcel, go over there and take a look, and just tell me what your professional opinion is. I'm not obsessed with her, I don't think I've ever brought her up, but every time I look at her, I think, it looks like she had some work done, or she was just unlucky enough to be born with a nose that looked like it had work done. It looks like work, yeah? Well, there you go. I think my only good part is my nose. I have a nice nose. I don't brag about my parts that much. I don't have that many good ones, but my nose, it's cute, right?

59:56 Dr. Marcel It's very refined.

59:58 Dr. Marcel But it doesn't look like it's been worked on.

1:00:00 Dr. Marcel Not at all.

1:00:01 Dr. Marcel Really?

1:00:02 Dr. Marcel No.

1:00:02 Dr. Marcel Alright. But I'm sure you mean that in the best way possible. Let's talk to Lipo. Let's take a Lipo question. Jake?

1:00:14 Dr. Marcel Yeah.

1:00:15 Dr. Marcel You're 28?

1:00:16 Dr. Marcel Yeah.

1:00:16 Dr. Marcel What's up?

1:00:17 Dr. Marcel I was wondering, I've had this gut for like four or five years now, and I've tried dieting and sit-ups and everything, and it just doesn't want to go away, and I want to know about the option of liposuction.

1:00:33 Dr. Marcel Liposuction works really well for people, especially if they're close to their ideal height and weight, you know, plus minus a few pounds. But it works great on areas that are what we call diet resistant, and certainly love handles and stomach and men, thighs and hip rolls in women, those are very diet resistant. Some people would have to almost get sickly skinny, Clistoflocart skinny, in order to lose these troublesome areas.

1:01:01 Dr. Marcel Yes.

1:01:01 Dr. Marcel So yeah, no, liposuction is a great way to get from point A to point B.

1:01:05 Dr. Marcel Have they refined that at all? I mean, it seems like I heard some nightmare stories about it, you know, after it really gained momentum 10 years ago or something like that.

1:01:16 Dr. Marcel Is there techniques? What's basically changed over the last, in my career, is we're using smaller and smaller tubes to suck the fat out of. So you're getting a more regular result. You're not getting as much waviness or rippling to the skin or dizziness. Something called tumescent technique, which is pretty much what everyone is doing. You're pumping in some saline with adrenaline in it, which is cutting down on blood loss. So it's not a particularly bloody procedure anymore.

1:01:46 Dr. Marcel So they've refined it over the years.

1:01:48 Dr. Marcel It's definitely much more refined than it was 10 years ago.

1:01:51 Dr. Marcel What is the cost basically for a set of love handles or an area, like a pudge?

1:01:58 Dr. Marcel A lot of surgeons charge, they'll charge by the area, or they'll figure out how long it's going to take them to do it. It can be anywhere from $1,000 to $2,000 per area. Now, would the love handles be two areas? No, one. Yeah, that'll probably be a surgeon's fee. It'll run you anywhere from $1,500 on up.

1:02:18 Dr. Marcel So a guy like Jake could be looking for it. Now, he's calling from Bakersfield. And let me tell you something. $1,500 in Bakersfield currency, that's like 25 grand. It's like Mexico. It's what the peso is to the dollar. All right. Because they just don't... The minimum wage in Bakersfield is 76 cents. They don't pay at all. What do you do over there, Jake?

1:02:41 Dr. Marcel Well, you could exchange it for, you know, livestock or something.

1:02:44 Dr. Marcel Jake, yeah, what do you do in Bakersfield?

1:02:46 Dr. Marcel I work for the railroad.

1:02:49 Dr. Marcel Oh, you do?

1:02:50 Dr. Marcel Yeah.

1:02:51 Dr. Marcel And what do you do?

1:02:52 Dr. Marcel I'm an engineer.

1:02:54 Dr. Marcel Oh, really? You actually drive the train?

1:02:56 Dr. Marcel Yeah.

1:02:58 Dr. Marcel Oh, nice. And one of those diesel electric ones?

1:03:02 Dr. Marcel Yes? Yeah?

1:03:05 Dr. Marcel Is it a diesel electric one? Yeah, it is. A lot of people don't know that the diesel trains just power a generator, that the train's electric. The diesel locomotive doesn't have a diesel engine to drive the train. It has a diesel engine to power the generator, to power the train.

1:03:23 Dr. Marcel I had no idea.

1:03:24 Dr. Marcel See?

1:03:25 Dr. Marcel I'm learning something. See what you learned? Yeah, I gotta come by more often.

1:03:28 Dr. Marcel Yeah, let me just check that with Jake. Jake, is that correct? Yeah. Thank you. You gotta have a lot of personalities to drive one of those trains. It's a lonely job. The guy's just sitting out there hoping that drunks don't fall asleep on the tracks.

1:03:43 Dr. Marcel And the cows wander across the tracks.

1:03:46 Dr. Marcel You know what always seemed like a ridiculous device to me is, I used to see it in the old movies where they'd be on the train, fight would break out, some guy would grab that cord and yank on it. All of a sudden, brakes lock up, sparks coming from the, you know, trains going 75 miles an hour. All of a sudden, it's just metal on metal. They lock it up, sparks flying out, everyone flying forward. You know, everyone in the dining car, the food flying everywhere. I thought, who's the guy decided that any drunk guy in steerage could just go ahead and yank that chain after a blowout with the old lady? It would just lock up the train. Is there any other form of transportation where I have access to the controls like when I'm flying an airplane? I'm going to go hard left on the ailerons just for my seat.

1:04:34 Dr. Marcel Let's bank it.

1:04:35 Dr. Marcel Or knock some drinks off some tray tables there. Yeah, and I always, I used to see the things and I thought, I remember being nine and thinking, boy, that's a horrible idea. Who decided there should be an emergency brake that the passengers should operate? And then I thought, maybe they made that up. Maybe it doesn't exist. And I thought, no, it's in every train movie.

1:04:55 Dr. Marcel Yeah, it is.

1:04:55 Dr. Marcel I think they've worked it out by now, though, right? I think they can't have that.

1:04:59 Dr. Marcel I doubt it now. Yeah.

1:05:00 Dr. Marcel Let's look into that. I got a little frog in my throat because...

1:05:05 Dr. Marcel You're sweating in your throat now. That's what it is.

1:05:09 Dr. Marcel That's not sweat. That's from earlier. I didn't tell you about my alternative lifestyle. Completely changed my proclivity. It takes all kinds. I got put under. I had some surgery yesterday and they intubate you or something. They put that tube down your throat. Right. And I think it's caused a little irritation. But don't worry, kids. I've landed on my feet and I'm fine. Let's talk to Frank. I can get rid of the stretch marks. Yeah, that's one that everyone wants to know about. Is it the same with men and women and the stretch marks, by the way?

1:05:43 Dr. Marcel Actually, yeah, a lot of guys have stretch marks, but certainly women get them more because of pregnancy.

1:05:48 Dr. Marcel But do they get rid of them the same way?

1:05:50 Dr. Marcel You know, I'll tell you, if I had a dollar for every patient that came in and was hoping that there was a solution to stretch marks...

1:05:57 Dr. Marcel Just isn't.

1:05:58 Dr. Marcel There isn't. I mean, people I've known have spent thousands of dollars on laser surgery for stretch marks, and I can tell you the improvement is at best, and I really mean this, subtle. If you're looking at wiping the slate clean and getting the skin all smooth, I think you're going to be very let down by any currently available laser treatments.

1:06:19 Dr. Marcel And forget about the creams and that kind of stuff. They've got to cut them out or something, right?

1:06:24 Dr. Marcel Well, if you can get rid of the skin, if it's a woman that has a bit of a pooch after having had kids, and you can get rid of that skin, sure. But if the stretch marks, I will say, if they are red, like some people get those angry red ones, those can be improved a lot with a laser. But if they're white stretch marks, and it's just the little irregularity in the skin, save your money.

1:06:42 Dr. Marcel Hey, Frank? Yeah? Are yours red or white?

1:06:47 Dr. Marcel Yeah, pretty much the ones on my stomach are pretty much red. But I've gained some weight across, like, for the last year. I've always been a pretty kind of big guy. But the ones from, like, when I used to work out a lot, like around my arms are kind of, you know, they already change color, but those aren't so bad.

1:07:04 Dr. Marcel Yeah, if you have red ones, then they'll respond to laser treatment. But if they're white, save your money.

1:07:10 Dr. Marcel All right, so consult a plastic surgeon on the red ones. But if he tells you you can get rid of the white ones, he's lying.

1:07:17 Dr. Marcel I would say that they're entrepreneurial.

1:07:20 Dr. Marcel Yeah, well, we've never, we've talked about this a lot on this show over the years, and nobody credible's ever really said there's anything they can do about it. Although, on the other hand, and I know women are more freaked out about the stretch marks than the guys are, not necessarily a deal breaker.

1:07:36 Dr. Marcel When it looks like a charpé.

1:07:38 Dr. Marcel Well, I mean, when the skin is sagging, you know, that's one thing.

1:07:43 Dr. Marcel It's really wrinkly.

1:07:45 Dr. Marcel I'm still ephener.

1:07:46 Dr. Marcel Are you?

1:07:46 Dr. Marcel That's me. But it takes all kinds. No, I mean, sometimes, again, I had the two in my throat, you see it on women, you see it around the love handle area, around the hip sometimes. And I'm not talking about one of your mom's friends who spat out quadruplets 28 years ago. I'm talking about the hottie you see at the beach, who's tan. And you can see the slightly lighter stretch marks, even around the breasts and stuff. It's kind of, to me, it kind of suggests there's some form there. Like I see a stretch mark under the arm a little. I'm thinking, OK, we got some boobage to deal with here. To me, it's like it's a good omen. No, I'm not freaked out by it. Yeah, if it gets... Well, listen, once you get to a certain age, just throw in the towel. Everybody.

1:08:40 Dr. Marcel Just kill yourself.

1:08:41 Dr. Marcel Well, I don't have to kill yourself, but leave yourself alone. You become like an old house that you don't need to put another coat of paint on. Just leave it alone. Let the termites get you.

1:08:53 Dr. Marcel I'm glad more people don't feel that way.

1:08:55 Dr. Marcel Yeah, I know. And what's the average age? And I'm guessing it's heading down. I mean, when you started your plastic surgery practice 14 years ago, you said? 14 years ago, average age of the person that walked through the front door.

1:09:09 Dr. Marcel Your practice tends to age with you, tell you the truth. The longer you're in business, the older your clients get because they're the ones that are coming back.

1:09:18 Dr. Marcel I would have thought it would have been the opposite. I would have thought 20 years ago the average age was 48 and now it's 39 or whatever.

1:09:26 Dr. Marcel No, I still think you see people get plastic surgery at all stages of their lives. It's just becoming more popular. And there is a trend towards getting it younger. I'm seeing kids in their teen years and I tend to try and discourage them from getting much done very early on because I just don't think they're mature enough to make those kind of decisions.

1:09:47 Dr. Marcel But what about that 18-year-old young lady who called who said her nose was basically deformed?

1:09:54 Dr. Marcel If it's a legitimate thing, sure.

1:09:57 Dr. Marcel Why go through your college years with all the horrible nicknames?

1:10:00 Dr. Marcel It's like young kids with prominent ears. Oh, really?

1:10:05 Dr. Marcel You do ear stuff?

1:10:05 Dr. Marcel Yeah, we try and operate on them young, 8 years old, 7 years old. Really? Because other kids are so cruel to them.

1:10:13 Dr. Marcel Oh, kids. So cruel. How do you take that ear down?

1:10:18 Dr. Marcel You have to make an incision behind the ear. You've got to get down to the cartilage. You've got to reshape the cartilage.

1:10:24 Dr. Marcel What percentage of people have the lobe attached as opposed to the hanging lobe?

1:10:30 Dr. Marcel Good question. I have no idea.

1:10:32 Dr. Marcel What do you got?

1:10:32 Dr. Marcel I have hangers.

1:10:34 Dr. Marcel You got the hangers?

1:10:35 Dr. Marcel Yeah.

1:10:35 Dr. Marcel Well, let me see. Come on, buddy. Yeah, but it's not much. It only goes up a few millimeters.

1:10:41 Dr. Marcel No, I don't have boot at your lobes.

1:10:43 Dr. Marcel Chris, what do you got? Wait, turn more. No, go more my way. There you go. Oh, you got... Oh, that's... No, my grandmother has those from using the clamp-ons. That's a disaster. Oh, you got to do something about that. That's the problem with the chicks right there. I was wondering what it was.

1:11:02 Dr. Marcel How can you live with yourself?

1:11:03 Adam Yeah, you got to do something about that. Deformed as you are.

1:11:05 Dr. Marcel Yeah, you're like Elephant Man or Quasimodo or something. Let me see that again because you got some flaps there. Now, shake it around a little bit. Put your hand over there. Come on, buddy. It's not gay. Well, maybe it is now that I yelled it wasn't gay, but before I screamed it wasn't gay, it wasn't gay. Come on, let me see how much you got before.

1:11:26 Dr. Marcel Don't get him to flick him for you.

1:11:29 Dr. Marcel Now, lift it a little bit. Turn my way. No, my way. All right.

1:11:34 Dr. Marcel Oh, it's not bad.

1:11:36 Dr. Marcel Yeah. I don't know. That could be the problem. It's either that or the $10 an hour. It's something. He's living at home. He's 27 years old. Yeah. Come on, buddy. You got to get out. We can get you out of the house. You want to go to break? It's going to get worse during the break. It's going to be the same stuff except for I use the F word. All right. Dr. Marcel is in studio tonight. Plastic surgeon of the stars. Have you worked on any stars?

1:12:04 Dr. Marcel I couldn't tell you if I did.

1:12:06 Dr. Marcel That's a big fat no. So we're going to take ourselves a big break and we'll be right back after this. 1-800-LOVE-191. Hey, buddy. It's Adam.

1:12:19 Dr. Marcel And I'm Dr. Drew.

1:12:20 Dr. Marcel Here to talk about Axe Deodorant Body Spray.

1:12:23 Dr. Marcel Yes, sir.

1:12:24 Dr. Marcel You spray that on, you give stink the axe.

1:12:41 Caller Hey, everybody, it's Loveline.

1:12:43 Dr. Marcel I'm Adam. That is Dr. Marcel. Dr. Marcel is filling in for Dr. Drew, who's chasing his castles made of ice in Boston.

1:12:55 Dr. Marcel Packing the car and having a yacht.

1:12:57 Dr. Marcel One of his... Oh, no, wait, where did you go? Where did you do your undergrad stuff?

1:13:02 Dr. Marcel That's where I trained in plastics was Boston.

1:13:04 Dr. Marcel Oh, you did?

1:13:04 Dr. Marcel Yeah.

1:13:05 Dr. Marcel University of Boston?

1:13:08 Dr. Marcel Lake Clinic.

1:13:09 Dr. Marcel So that's you want now you were at USC with Drew.

1:13:12 Dr. Marcel For medical school.

1:13:13 Dr. Marcel So Drew was at Amherst and you were where?

1:13:17 Dr. Marcel I was at UC Irvine.

1:13:18 Dr. Marcel You're at UC Irvine. Then you both ended up in USC. And then he... Oh, then you went to do plastic surgery.

1:13:26 Dr. Marcel I started... We all, most plastic surgeons do general surgery first. I did general surgery at the University of Arizona. And then I went back to Boston for two years of plastic surgery training.

1:13:37 Dr. Marcel And what did you do in general surgery?

1:13:40 Dr. Marcel Gall bladders, appendix, trauma. Yeah.

1:13:44 Dr. Marcel Did you do any hernia work?

1:13:46 Dr. Marcel Yeah.

1:13:46 Dr. Marcel I got one of those coming too. Yeah.

1:13:50 Dr. Marcel Yeah. Lucky you.

1:13:51 Dr. Marcel Yeah. I know. And Drew...

1:13:52 Dr. Marcel And that's near your junk.

1:13:54 Dr. Marcel Drew, look, I will gladly give up the underpants for that. It was just, like I said, the hand surgery, the chest stuff. Really, I got to give up the underpants for the hand surgery. And the hand, not down at your side, spread out, just like the man on the cross.

1:14:10 Dr. Marcel Yeah.

1:14:11 Dr. Marcel Just like him. Nope, gonna need that.

1:14:14 Dr. Marcel You'll be giving up the underwear big time for the hernia surgery. Yeah.

1:14:17 Dr. Marcel They may be bussing out the Lady Bic. You know what I'm saying?

1:14:21 Dr. Marcel Oh, yeah.

1:14:22 Dr. Marcel Here's my only problem is Drew had the hernia surgery done about a year ago. And, you know, he's kind of a puss. He's coming in here complaining for the next two weeks easily, like, oh, he was really, you know, he's it. Drew, Drew has. Drew, as well as well as being a passionate man, he has a high capacity for drama as well as a little drama queen to him. There's a little there's a little drama to him.

1:14:51 Dr. Marcel You know, he used to sing opera.

1:14:53 Dr. Marcel Oh, that's true. So is this drama. He was in here and he's like, my balls hurt. They'll never heal. And then Chris would jump in the background, heal the balls. And the big horns on the helmet, the Viking helmet. But yeah, he didn't start. He never stopped complaining for weeks and then was in it. And then he's thing that also people don't know about Drew is a worry wart. Oh, yeah. And Drew, Drew will say to me like once a week, I'll go, looks like we're going to have to give up the house. And I'll go, what are you talking about? Well, you know, I mean, the mortgage, this, I got to send the kids each time. The kids estimate for college gets more and more. It's now up to like 30 million dollars a child. Well, I got three kids, 30 millions. It's almost a night when you figure in books, it's 100 million dollars for the kids to get a decent four year education. Then you got the ice skating. We're going to have to give up the house. And I'm always like, oh, just shut up and go to work with you. You never have to give up anything. You do fine. You're doing fine. Just stop worrying about it all the time. We may have to move and then talk to them two weeks later. I'm like, how's the house going? Huh? Yeah. I thought you were going to have to move. That sounds like him. Yeah. It's like, just relax over there, buddy. God, he's high strung. All right. And listen, as I've told Drew many times, yeah, you could spend, you know, $400,000 a kid in school or you could spend nothing and you turn out like the ace man, literally a millionaire, literally. That's right.

1:16:24 Dr. Marcel Amen, brother.

1:16:25 Dr. Marcel I swear, I put my hand to Christ here if my dad spent more than $500 on me or my sister after the age of 13 combined, I don't think he got to 500 bucks. I really don't.

1:16:40 Dr. Marcel Yeah, but you're the exception to the rule.

1:16:41 Dr. Marcel Maybe. No one I know, by the way, and it's true, most of my friends are losers, but no, the parents, they never put any money aside for anything. Like, there was no, well, here's a rainy day, or here's for the college, or here's for the braces, or here's if the kid takes a spill in the moped. These kids didn't even have like doctors and stuff, they just, there was nothing, and they all just, you know, they got out of high school, they went to work, and they're all doing fine now. You'll be all right. I just keep telling them, they'll be fine, they'll land on their feet, they don't need you. John? Yeah. You're 23? Mm-hmm. What's up?

1:17:18 Dr. Marcel Well, I have an eyelid that hangs down lower than the other one.

1:17:23 Dr. Marcel Mm-hmm.

1:17:24 Dr. Marcel And it's not too much, but it becomes a lot more pronounced, like, when I'm drunk or when I'm tired or something like that.

1:17:31 Dr. Marcel Mm-hmm.

1:17:33 Dr. Marcel Has this been since you were young?

1:17:35 Dr. Marcel Yeah. Oh, yeah. I've always had it.

1:17:37 Dr. Marcel Yeah. You probably have something called congenital ptosis. You probably should have, I mean, most plastic surgeons won't do enough of this sort of surgery, so you may want to consult what we would call an oculoplastic doctor, and that's someone who's usually an ophthalmologist who's taken a special interest in this, in the plastic surgery aspect of it, and have him, there'll be some tests that they'll have to do, and they could raise the one eyelid just a little to help it match the other side.

1:18:09 Dr. Marcel Is it like a real intensive kind of surgery, or?

1:18:12 Dr. Marcel Well it's a surgery.

1:18:13 Dr. Marcel They have to take the eyeball out. And make a key chain out of it.

1:18:17 Dr. Marcel It's a surgery, but it's a surgery that has a pretty good success rate.

1:18:22 Dr. Marcel Right. I mean, is it something that's going to be really expensive, or?

1:18:25 Dr. Marcel It might be covered by insurance if you have a visual field obstruction.

1:18:30 Dr. Marcel Oh, really? Well, it's really not. I mean, it doesn't really affect that much, it's just like, I don't know.

1:18:34 Dr. Marcel Don't say that to the insurance guy, though.

1:18:36 Dr. Marcel Right.

1:18:37 Dr. Marcel Tell him you can barely drive. All right, Mark, come on. I mean, Johnny, you gotta learn to play the game.

1:18:45 Dr. Marcel Yeah. You know, like that excessive sweating.

1:18:48 Dr. Marcel It's got a free surgery.

1:18:49 Dr. Marcel Gosh, I love that.

1:18:51 Dr. Marcel Yeah. Yeah, it's nice, right? Look at me, too. Dry as a biscuit. Feel that forehead. It's chalky.

1:18:58 Dr. Marcel It's chalky feeling. It's like the desert.

1:19:00 Dr. Marcel It's chalky feeling. I'm like a powdered doughnut on my forehead.

1:19:05 Dr. Marcel Only one day out.

1:19:07 Dr. Marcel Yeah. It's like I got kabuki makeup on. Look at that. But the ass crack. That is...

1:19:13 Dr. Marcel Swamp.

1:19:14 Dr. Marcel Oh. It's a mire down there. Yeah.

1:19:19 Dr. Marcel Not pretty. No.

1:19:20 Dr. Marcel Not pretty. There's like a water moccasin coming out of my ass right now. John?

1:19:25 Dr. Marcel Yeah.

1:19:26 Dr. Marcel Oh, we're done talking to you. That's right?

1:19:28 Dr. Marcel Yes, we are.

1:19:28 Dr. Marcel All right. Who are we talking to next? Listen, Marcel, this sticker thing, it's too sporadic for me. He's got a concave chest, has one nut, a lot of guys calling in.

1:19:40 Dr. Marcel A lot of...

1:19:41 Dr. Marcel Puffy nipples.

1:19:42 Dr. Marcel A lot of junk calls.

1:19:43 Dr. Marcel Travis, penis is too sensitive. All right, I'll tell you what. Let's talk to someone who's been on hold for 104 minutes and let's just go in order of longest to least on hold. Travis? 21. Sensitive penis.

1:20:01 Dr. Marcel Yeah, yeah.

1:20:02 Dr. Marcel I'm a premature ejaculator.

1:20:05 Dr. Marcel Mm-hmm.

1:20:06 Dr. Marcel Yeah. I don't...

1:20:08 Dr. Marcel Here's what I'm starting to figure out from doing the show and traveling around through the world and through this country. And now with Marcel talking about plastic surgery and I'm really just starting to think that people got a hand dealt to them, whether they got stretch marks or love handles where they have a big nose, where they're premature ejaculators or where they go all night without having ejaculation. There's just a certain hand you get dealt. And we, as a society, we love to think there's something you can do about it through reading a book or listening to some cassettes or, you know, seeing some infomercial hosted by Suzanne Summers. The reality is, is there's probably not that much Travis can do about this because that's just him. There's always like the bottom 10 percent, then there's the upper 10 percent and there's something... The bell-shaped curve. Yeah. Then there's something... everyone else, everyone in the middle. Travis can do things like... You have a steady girlfriend, Travis?

1:21:06 Dr. Marcel Yeah.

1:21:07 Dr. Marcel You do. You've been going out there for how long?

1:21:11 Dr. Marcel Probably a year and a half.

1:21:13 Dr. Marcel And this happens every time?

1:21:16 Dr. Marcel Well, you know, sometimes I get lucky. Yeah. Try to, you know, like a her pleasure condom, give that a shot, you know, works all right. How about... Sometimes I get a good jack before and then...

1:21:27 Dr. Marcel Sure.

1:21:28 Dr. Marcel Then we go at it and, you know, goes a little longer.

1:21:31 Dr. Marcel Yeah. You take a bullet out of the chamber before you...

1:21:34 Adam Right. Right...

1:21:35 Dr. Marcel .get your piece. How about you give her some good oral sex? Because I've learned over the years that the meter's running once you get down there. I mean, the sexual meter. Even if you come up top and it only lasts two minutes, if you were down there for 18, that's a 20 minute session.

1:21:52 Dr. Marcel Yeah.

1:21:52 Adam Yeah.

1:21:52 Dr. Marcel That's true.

1:21:53 Adam Yeah.

1:21:53 Dr. Marcel Yeah. Yeah.

1:21:55 Dr. Marcel Marcel has not actually ever done any plastic surgery on himself except for the forked tongue for obvious reasons. Do you ever have anybody wanting you to do bizarre things, things you won't do?

1:22:08 Dr. Marcel Not too often. I try and discourage the crazies.

1:22:12 Dr. Marcel But there are people that want to look like a lizard or something.

1:22:15 Dr. Marcel Well, I mean, I've gotten over the internet people that have contacted me about doing body modification.

1:22:20 Dr. Marcel Putting like beads under their penis and stuff like that.

1:22:23 Dr. Marcel Beads, you know, hydroxyapatite beads on their foreheads.

1:22:26 Dr. Marcel What are hydroxyapatite?

1:22:28 Dr. Marcel It's like coral. It's like sterile coral.

1:22:30 Dr. Marcel Uh-huh. So it's not... It's inert. Yeah, it's inert. Is it man-made?

1:22:35 Dr. Marcel Yeah.

1:22:35 Dr. Marcel So it's like a synthetic coral. And they come in size of peas, size of, they keep going?

1:22:42 Dr. Marcel Yeah, you can stretch the skin out to like little horns underneath the skin.

1:22:46 Dr. Marcel And you can actually just put those in and be like a retarded devil.

1:22:50 Dr. Marcel Yeah, pretty much.

1:22:51 Dr. Marcel Fantastic. That's great. And it's great because your first day out of surgery, you'll probably run into like a drunken group of born-against coming back from some revival and just get your ass kicked, like stabbed with a sprinkler key. All right. So Travis is doing whatever Travis can do about his premature problem. This is something you're probably going to grow out of, hopefully, but not necessarily. He's 21, and Aika said, oral sex, it's really the best way to keep your ladies satisfied. Mark? All right. Hold on a second, Mark. We're going most, Elise. Sorry. I'm going to talk to Dan, who's now been on hold for 76 minutes. Dan?

1:23:34 Adam Yo.

1:23:35 Dr. Marcel You got the puffy nipples?

1:23:36 Adam I do.

1:23:37 Dr. Marcel That's the gynecomastia.

1:23:39 Dr. Marcel That's what that is. Yeah, that'll kick in around puberty sometimes, where you get the lump under the nipple, but it should go away.

1:23:47 Dr. Marcel Really? It goes away in a majority of cases, but not always.

1:23:50 Adam It's been there about, well, I'm 24 now.

1:23:53 Dr. Marcel It's been there a long time.

1:23:55 Dr. Marcel Right.

1:23:55 Dr. Marcel And so it's at a point where it's not going to go away on its own, and it should be evaluated if you've got a little firm rubbery disc of breast tissue underneath your nipple or your areola. It's going to have to be dealt with surgically.

1:24:11 Dr. Marcel Yeah. It's not going to die or whatever. It's not going to do it.

1:24:15 Adam Yeah. I'm a pretty big guy otherwise, you know.

1:24:18 Dr. Marcel No. You have a little bit of excess breast development.

1:24:22 Dr. Marcel You should consult a plastic surgeon.

1:24:24 Adam Oh, damn.

1:24:26 Dr. Marcel What's so bad about that?

1:24:27 Dr. Marcel Yeah.

1:24:28 Dr. Marcel They're good guys. If you don't mind the pinky rings.

1:24:31 Adam No.

1:24:31 Dr. Marcel It's kind of embarrassing, you know, the whole issue.

1:24:34 Dr. Marcel Well, sure. No, I mean, I've had young men who, they won't go to the locker room. They'll wear two or three shirts to try and de-emphasize it.

1:24:43 Dr. Marcel Dan, are you embarrassed going to the plastic surgeon or are you embarrassed in the locker room? Here's the whole thing. The locker room, you're going to get some 19-year-old meathead who's going to make funny. The plastic surgeon's a guy who sees this every day.

1:24:55 Dr. Marcel Right. That's true. There's nothing to be embarrassed about.

1:24:58 Dr. Marcel He hopes God creates thousands of mutants like you so he can keep driving that Porsche.

1:25:03 Dr. Marcel There you go.

1:25:04 Dr. Marcel That's what this bumper sticker says. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, and this is the kind of thing for a guy, you just got to take care of sooner than later. Oh, yeah. Who the hell wants that? The summer's coming up, the beach, the pool parties, the whole thing. Even the guys are just wearing the T-shirts and look like 13-year-old girls that need a training bra. And other guys, at least the guys I grew up with, would not have a whole lot of sympathy for the man boobs. Not at all.

1:25:30 Dr. Marcel They're tough on them.

1:25:31 Dr. Marcel They would be. First thing you'd probably get is felt up. And second, the verbal ridicule. But first, probably a good like half a raping. And then torso rape, I call it. And then the verbal abuse. All right. Dr. Marcel in studio tonight, plastic surgeon, filling in for Dr. Drew. We'll take a quick break and we'll be right back.

1:25:56 Caller Loveline. We'll be right back.

1:26:15 Dr. Marcel Hey, everybody. It's the Loveline. I'm Adam. That is Dr. Marcel. Dr. Marcel is in here tonight, filming for Dr. Drew, 1-800-LOVE-191, talking about plastic surgery. Thank you. The aptly but unfortunately named Dr. Alter will be in tomorrow night. Some people remember him from a few months back when he was a guest on the show talking about the genital reassignment surgery. And by the way, these euphemisms such as donating an egg, when a woman donates an egg, four or $5,000. It's not really donating, it's selling. Someone's going to pay. Let's put it this way. You're calling it donating an egg. Would you do it for free? Absolutely not. Here's $6,500. Give me the egg, Missy. All right. So this kind of donating an egg is so people don't feel bad about selling parts. And genital reassignment is another one of these euphemistic things. Yeah. Penises over by the trees, vaginas down behind the rocks. Spread like, yeah, we're going to need, OK, so you do want your penis or you don't? Fantastic. Because someone else needs it. So let's go ahead and move that over here. Like, yeah, like he's got some long flashlights, like a guy's bringing in an airplane or a movie usher would be using. Let's get to genitalia over over here. Yeah. Hop up, hop up on that vagina. There we go. Fantastic. No, it's it's it's lopping off dongs and taking crazy people. And essentially screwing them up even more. And if you've ever seen pictures and I'm sure you've had you have about taking muscle out of the forearm and skin out of the forearm to essentially create a piece of bone, create it, create a crank. And and here's the thing, if they could get the penis to look like half of what my half of penis looked like, which would just be a quarter, it would be it would be a breakthrough. But this thing this thing is a disaster.

1:28:23 Dr. Marcel Yeah, it still has a way to go.

1:28:26 Dr. Marcel I think people people think of it as, you know, unscrewing a penis and screwing it on a woman.

1:28:31 Adam It's a disaster.

1:28:32 Dr. Marcel It's kind of a replica.

1:28:35 Dr. Marcel A replica in a pretty crappy way. Like like it was a replica, it was like a wax replica. Like there's a Madame Tussauds of penis. This would be one that got left in a hot van over August and just sort of wilted.

1:28:50 Dr. Marcel I mean, certainly the reassignment to a woman works out a lot better. They can actually look pretty realistic.

1:28:56 Dr. Marcel Anything you want to tell us?

1:28:58 Dr. Marcel No.

1:28:58 Dr. Marcel You've been burned a few times.

1:29:00 Dr. Marcel Takes all kinds. All right.

1:29:03 Dr. Marcel Let's talk to, wait, who the hell? Did I have what's his name on hold or we get to him?

1:29:08 Dr. Marcel We got to him. All right.

1:29:09 Dr. Marcel Who's been on hold the longest? No, I think someone just hung up on him. Hey, Mark.

1:29:15 Adam Hey, how's it going, Adam?

1:29:16 Dr. Marcel Good. You have a concave chest?

1:29:19 Adam Yeah. It's pretty sunken. I've heard it's called a funnel chest too.

1:29:23 Dr. Marcel Right. Well, is it a funnel chest or do you have like what's called pectus excavatum?

1:29:30 Adam Just right on my breastplate. It's like a spoon, you know, concave in. The breastplate actually...

1:29:37 Dr. Marcel Right. That's like when the guy's shoulders stick out further than the sternum does, right, or the breastplate.

1:29:43 Dr. Marcel It actually can sink in.

1:29:45 Dr. Marcel Does it actually become concave?

1:29:47 Dr. Marcel Yeah.

1:29:47 Dr. Marcel Where the...

1:29:48 Dr. Marcel What direction are the ribs?

1:29:49 Dr. Marcel The ribs are also curved inward, too.

1:29:52 Dr. Marcel But not all the way around?

1:29:53 Dr. Marcel No.

1:29:54 Dr. Marcel They turn in...

1:29:55 Dr. Marcel Just in the midline. Right. Is that how yours are?

1:29:59 Adam Right. My shoulders are not further than my chest. I have a fairly developed chest and I've worked out and stuff, but it's just right in the middle on the breastplate, like almost directly over the heart.

1:30:11 Dr. Marcel I can't imagine what you can do about that.

1:30:13 Dr. Marcel Well, depending upon...

1:30:14 Adam Are you able to reconstruct bones?

1:30:16 Dr. Marcel Well, depending upon the extent of the defects, sometimes camouflage is what's in order, and so what they'll do is they make a custom silicone implant.

1:30:24 Dr. Marcel They puff out the skin there.

1:30:25 Dr. Marcel They puff out the skin.

1:30:26 Dr. Marcel Put it right on top of the chestplate.

1:30:28 Dr. Marcel Exactly.

1:30:29 Dr. Marcel And then you have people punch you like Houdini did.

1:30:31 Dr. Marcel You could. And in other cases, if it's more extreme, sometimes you need a rather extreme surgery, which involves removing the breastbone and modifying it and actually turning it upside down. You should be seen by a plastic surgeon to be evaluated.

1:30:49 Dr. Marcel Now, you're calling from Mississippi, so you're probably going to see like a taxidermist or something, right? Is that as close as they can?

1:30:55 Dr. Marcel No, there are good plastic surgeons in all the states.

1:30:58 Dr. Marcel Do they do some taxidermy as well as like rhinoplasty?

1:31:02 Dr. Marcel Possibly.

1:31:02 Dr. Marcel Breast reduction.

1:31:03 Dr. Marcel But, you know, correcting a concave chest is not the most common plastic surgery. So once again, make sure that the surgeon has a degree of expertise in the area. You might want to go to the University of Mississippi, which will have a teaching institution.

1:31:18 Dr. Marcel Yeah. I think you have to get in the car for this one. But here's the thing. I like, you know, the idea of doing anything with the physical bone seems like quite an undertaking. But the idea of putting a little silicone, you know, hot dog under there and kicking the thing out... Right... .seems like a relatively easy fix.

1:31:38 Dr. Marcel It can be, yes.

1:31:39 Dr. Marcel All right, well, there's some actual information coming from the show, everybody. What time is it? Mark this, just mark it. Let's see. Mark, let's see. 24 minutes.

1:31:54 Dr. Marcel That was a bad thing.

1:31:58 Dr. Marcel Billy.

1:31:59 Dr. Marcel Sir, Adam Carolla.

1:32:00 Dr. Marcel You're 28.

1:32:01 Dr. Marcel Yes.

1:32:02 Dr. Marcel Yes. You have pointed ears like Spock. You want to know if they can be fixed.

1:32:06 Dr. Marcel Right.

1:32:07 Dr. Marcel All right, we have about 30 seconds. Marcel was telling me he does lots of ears. And...

1:32:13 Dr. Marcel You can... If it's a cartilage problem where it's a little too prominent up there, that can be contoured down.

1:32:18 Dr. Marcel Yeah, I would imagine that that's one of the easier fixes.

1:32:21 Dr. Marcel Yeah, that would not be all that complicated.

1:32:23 Dr. Marcel All right, so Billy should just speak to a board certified plastic surgeon and see what they can do.

1:32:29 Dr. Marcel Right? Simple.

1:32:30 Dr. Marcel All right, we'll take a quick break. We'll be right back.

1:32:32 Dr. Marcel Here it is.

1:32:35 Dr. Marcel Tons of lame people and no decent prospects. Call the Dateline.

1:32:40 Caller Call the Dateline. 1-877-889-DATE. So get your problems ready.

1:32:50 Dr. Marcel This hour brought to you in part by Axe.

1:32:54 Caller Experience the Axe Effect.

1:32:58 Dr. Marcel With Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew.

1:33:11 Dr. Marcel Well, that's the show, everybody. Where did the time go? Always flies when Dr. Marcel is in the studio. God bless you, Dr. Marcel.

1:33:20 Dr. Marcel Always a lot of fun, always is.

1:33:21 Dr. Marcel Always good. Just as good off there as you are on. All right, so we will be in with Dr. Alter tomorrow night, talk a little genital reassignment. Perhaps he can do something with Chris's ears, like put like a scrotum sack on each one. That'd be nice luck, wouldn't it? Yeah. All right, so until next time, this is Adam Carolla for Dr. Marcel. Saying mahalo.

1:33:55 Caller The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or this station. The producer for Loveline is Ann Ingold. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

Episode Feedback

Sunday, June 27, 2004