Episode 1000622367030

0:54 Voiceover Loveline may contain sexually-oriented content.

0:58 Voiceover Listen to discretion as advised.

1:00 Voiceover Loveline with Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew.

1:04 Voiceover Adam, that's Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Dr. Drew, board certified physician, addiction medicine specialist, and tonight, like the welcoming of the studio, dear, dear friend and very special Loveline guest, David Alan Grier, Dag, my main man.

1:22 David Alan Grier You were whitey three seconds ago.

1:24 Drew No, but you know, when you go through a weekend like I went through with, you know what, that happened to, you know who? Considering a big basketball, it just hurts.

1:34 Adam Yeah. Why, why, Now, David, as I recall, is from the Detroit area.

1:41 Caller Yes, I am, I am.

1:42 Adam So you should be happy, right?

1:43 Drew No, because I'll tell you why. Detroit doesn't even play in Detroit. Detroit plays in Auburn Hills. That would be like the LA. Lakers playing in Tustin.

1:51 Adam Oh, really?

1:52 Drew Oh, yeah.

1:53 Oh, yeah.

1:54 Drew The story around Detroit is that this 81-year-old white guy who owns the Pistons, his driver, his chauffeur was mugged one time in downtown Detroit at the old Cobalt Hall.

2:04 And that was, that's it, we're pulling up stakes.

2:07 David Alan Grier He owns the hockey team, too, right?

2:09 Yeah, he does.

2:10 Drew But, you know, they built a hockey stadium in downtown Detroit. They built a new beautiful football stadium and a baseball stadium. But, you know, basketball is a little different. It's a multi-use arena, you know what I do, and they've been out there.

2:24 Adam He also owns the WNBA team, by the way. I think.

2:28 Drew Who beat the, who beat LA.?

2:30 Adam Oh, they beat LA too.

2:31 Drew Yeah, yeah, yeah, the girls beat the, well, their team could beat the LA. Lakers.

2:36 David Alan Grier Carl Malone's daughter was on that team.

2:38 Adam Yeah, you know, I saw her, like, whatever.

2:40 Drew Carlita Malone.

2:41 Adam Game number three, that's it. You gotta love the brother man. It's like, oh, hold on, sweetie, 15-second timeout. Daddy's got to get back on the court. Oh, you brought your kids. That's great. It's like, could a white guy ever pull that off? He's out on, imagine, Drew, you're out on the court playing championship basketball. You got a son or daughter's up in the stands, already got herself a championship trophy. Myself, on the professional level. It's, we can't do that. We don't have that kind of durability.

3:06 David Alan Grier With our name.

3:08 Adam A, we don't start that early, and then secondly, we don't have that kind of durability.

3:11 Drew Well, you hockey people can do that, or you're baseball.

3:14 Adam We can, but the white guy doesn't spit out the kids at 17. Oh, you gotta get going early.

3:22 Drew There you go. You gotta do a little squat thrust there.

3:26 David Alan Grier Twinkie, what is it, Anderson?

3:27 Twinkie Hole, baby.

3:30 Twinkie Hole, baby, woo!

3:32 He's mellow from there.

3:34 Drew I'm kinder, I'm kinder.

3:35 Adam Dag was a.

3:35 David Alan Grier Kinder, gentler Dag.

3:36 Adam Dag was commenting before we went on the air that we're not playing enough of his drops lately on the show.

3:41 Drew It's just, I've been getting a lot of them.

3:43 David Alan Grier We need to record a few more of that. Get us some cheers in there, Dag.

3:47 Drew Well, you know, I give of myself and I'm just pushed to the side. You know, when one of these rinky dink pop princesses comes in here, Alanis Morissette.

3:56 David Alan Grier What are we going to get Bonnie Hunt up here?

3:58 Drew Oh, she's too good for this show, really.

4:00 She's a nurse with love.

4:02 Drew She is a health professional.

4:03 Adam She's a nurse.

4:04 Drew Yeah, she's like Pachita Adams. You know, the capacity to laugh and spread laughter. And also, she's too beautiful and talented. Bonnie's listening now.

4:16 She would love.

4:19 David Alan Grier That's Andy Dick.

4:20 Yeah.

4:21 David Alan Grier Let's hear Dag's.

4:24 Drew Let's have the listeners vote.

4:26 Adam Dag's had to find it.

4:26 I gotta find it, hold on, it's buried somewhere.

4:28 Exactly, it's buried because you hate me. What did I ever do to you?

4:38 He's ruined it, that was much better than that.

4:41 Drew I did an opera one, it's much better.

4:44 Adam Oh, that's right, I forgot about that one.

4:46 Drew They've all forgotten.

4:48 Adam Let's give some plugs in, let's give some plugs in for a second.

4:51 Drew Well, let's plug the wonderful Life with Bonnie.

4:54 Adam Life with Bonnie, 9.30, Friday nights, ABC.

4:59 They pulled the plug.

5:00 Adam But what, here's what I understand, was that show doing well for them?

5:04 Drew I assume so, I'm not one of those actors who, you know, watches the ratings and all that stuff. I try to concentrate on my art. I do. We like that show.

5:13 I love that show.

5:14 Drew She came to visit. The Mrs. Drew Pinsky.

5:17 Adam Yeah, Drew went out and watched the show being taped and was blown away.

5:23 David Alan Grier Oh my God.

5:24 Did Mrs. Mama Pinsky put her little pinky in Dr. Drew's little dump?

5:34 Drew You were describing your sexual limits with the Mrs. Drew.

5:38 David Alan Grier Yeah, well, anyway, I was going to go on about how talented you guys are. Singing, dancing, writing, and directing at Bonnie Fart. Yeah, yeah.

5:47 Drew Bonnie, come, come do Loveline. These children need to be healed, because there's only one reason I'm here.

5:52 Is to save some babies!

5:59 Adam 19th and 20th. That must be Thursday, Friday, Saturday.

6:04 Drew Yeah, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Saturday.

6:05 Adam That's right.

6:06 Drew Wednesday, Thursday.

6:07 David Alan Grier How'd you last, last time you were up here, you were set up for the, how'd it go?

6:11 Drew It's always wonderful.

6:12 Adam They're having him back, Drew.

6:14 Drew I'm just saying, I love going down there, but usually-

6:16 David Alan Grier That was an opportunity for him to talk about, what's funny.

6:19 Drew But usually it's riding the coattails of my beloved Lakey Lakeums as we storm the Citadel, but not this year.

6:26 David Alan Grier So your whole set's about the Lakers?

6:28 Drew Well, you know, not really, it has to be addressed. It has to be addressed.

6:32 Adam Well, he's only got 20 minutes because he's opening for Geechee Guy.

6:35 David Alan Grier Wow. Last time I saw David was at your birthday party.

6:39 Adam Yeah.

6:39 David Alan Grier And he took off with a couple of chicks.

6:41 Drew No, I left the building with-

6:43 Adam Oh, that's right, Dag stole my bitches.

6:45 Drew No, I left the building with the rider with the curly red hair.

6:49 Adam Oh yeah, Morgan.

6:51 Drew They were his chicks. We did, if you'd have looked down, he went left, I went right.

6:56 Adam All right, yeah, Dag made the scene at my birthday party just a few weeks back.

7:02 Drew Your beloved wife, Adam, you're a lucky man.

7:05 Adam You're a great wife.

7:07 Drew She called me and she said that I had to make an appearance, I was your only black friend, and you'd lose your federal money if I didn't show up.

7:15 Adam Well, the EEOC is pretty tight-regs. That's right. All right, David Alan Grier, by the way, I know him as either Dag or I'm a main man. Somebody said to me today, let's start with David earlier. And I thought, who's David? I have no idea who that is.

7:36 Drew Or the devil.

7:37 The devil.

7:43 Adam All right, well, we'll start with the soul of Beth. Who's 22, Beth?

7:49 Hello.

7:50 Adam What's up?

7:53 Am I on the show? Mm-hmm. Wow, well, I do have a kind of serious question for you guys, if you'd like to.

8:00 Mm-hmm, yeah.

8:02 Okay, my problem is that I have a boyfriend now that I've had for a while, and he doesn't have an orgasm. He'll stay hard forever, and I'll get really sore during sex, and he will not have an orgasm. So I'm wondering if this is like, I tried to read stuff, and I just don't know what I can do, or what to do.

8:22 David Alan Grier Is he on a medication?

8:24 He's not on any medication at all.

8:26 David Alan Grier Has he, have you discussed this problem with him?

8:29 Well, before me, he'd never had an orgasm with anyone else that he'd had sex with.

8:35 Adam Uh-huh.

8:36 So I was the first one that he ever had an orgasm with, but I thought that, you know, after we'd been dating for a while, that it would kind of go away and he'd be-

8:44 David Alan Grier Wait, Beth, Beth, let's forget this guy. You are not the first one that he's had this problem with.

8:48 Adam No, he, he's the, he, yes. She's not the first one he's had this problem with, but she is the first one he's actually had an orgasm with.

8:56 David Alan Grier And how did he achieve-

8:57 Drew Wait a minute, I thought she said he never had an orgasm with.

9:00 David Alan Grier How did he do it?

9:01 Adam You gotta, I speak fluent retard.

9:04 David Alan Grier How did he climb to the summit? What happened?

9:10 I mean, everything is normal, but it just, sometimes it just takes, you know, an hour and sometimes he doesn't come at all. And so I'm-

9:16 David Alan Grier But some of the time he's good. Some of the time he's okay.

9:19 Some of the time, you know, it comes along, but it's still, it takes forever. And I just wonder if there's something I can do about it. Or if it's like a condition or-

9:27 David Alan Grier How often are you having sex?

9:29 We have sex a lot. We have a pretty good sex life. It's kind of a long distance relationship, but I see him for the summers and everything like that.

9:37 Drew So how long, did she answer the question?

9:38 David Alan Grier No, how often?

9:40 How often? When we're together, like maybe once every other day.

9:43 David Alan Grier How often are you together?

9:44 We're together like for the summer, which is all four months and then every two weeks or so, and he comes up to visit.

9:51 Adam So where? Is he in college somewhere? Are you guys going to move in proximity of each other soon?

9:59 Yes.

10:01 Adam Okay. This is how he's cut out.

10:03 David Alan Grier He's wired.

10:05 Adam Yeah. He's just wired this way, and there's really not a lot you can do about it unless you can really figure out something. Like once in a while you hit a guy's sweet spot, like a good brisk lubriderm handy. But with a grip.

10:20 Drew Shouldn't she share him with her friends?

10:25 David Alan Grier Maybe.

10:26 It's not like a condition. You've never heard of it or anything?

10:29 David Alan Grier No, Beth, we are telling you we've heard of it often, and some guys are just wired this way.

10:33 Adam Yeah.

10:34 Drew Isn't it called maintain erectus?

10:36 David Alan Grier It's just delayed ejaculation, and some guys are just, that's just their rhythm. Now, one of the things you can do is have less frequent sex. Sometimes it helps a guy get going.

10:43 Adam Sometimes.

10:44 Drew And it doesn't sound like they're having that much sex anyway.

10:47 David Alan Grier Every other day, it's pretty good.

10:48 Adam Yeah.

10:49 David Alan Grier Really?

10:49 Adam Yeah.

10:50 David Alan Grier David.

10:50 Adam Come on, Brian.

10:51 David Alan Grier I'm asking you, at that age, Oh, maybe he could not look at her.

10:55 Drew There you go, you're on to something. You're on to something.

10:58 David Alan Grier Maybe that one.

10:59 Drew Put some porn on in the background, keep it coming, and what else?

11:02 Adam Well, Dave, I just, you know, when you're being intimate with your gal pal, I mean, obviously there's, we have no visual representation of that, but what might that sound like?

11:13 David Alan Grier I mean, if you were advising him.

11:15 Drew Don't prompt me.

11:17 Adam Planted a microphone in your bedroom. What might that sound like?

11:22 Drew Even my soft words above and below.

11:24 Adam When you're being intimate with your lady.

11:27 Drew I can't, I gotta gear up, because I'm starting very light.

11:29 David Alan Grier Just got off a plane.

11:30 We have some in the microphone here. Look, don't look at me.

11:45 Something like that, yeah.

11:49 David Alan Grier He's off tonight.

11:51 Drew Something like that. He's getting preempted by himself.

11:53 David Alan Grier It's all right, we'll hear from him later when he gets a little charged up.

11:55 Drew Something like that. That's true, it's true. When you're all randy.

11:58 David Alan Grier So don't look at the girl, I guess it's the bottom line. That's how you're supposed to...

12:02 Drew Well, like a lot of little sex talk, what you looking at? Don't look at me. Don't, don't, don't, you know, that leads into it.

12:08 Adam Right, you look a little dirty.

12:12 Drew Hey guys, speaking of snoring, after the show, I know you guys heard it. Remember BJ?

12:18 David Alan Grier Oh yeah.

12:19 Drew This is what he did for 22 minutes.

12:22 Adam After the show, we. Yeah, we punched.

12:26 Drew Is this a guy who called him?

12:27 David Alan Grier Yeah, we kept him on the background the entire show.

12:30 Adam He fell asleep.

12:31 Drew And you know what? His rhythm was actually pretty good once the show ended.

12:34 Caller I think that we were kind of causing him.

12:35 David Alan Grier Oh, we were getting through to him or something.

12:37 Drew Is he suffering some kind of sleep disorder?

12:40 David Alan Grier That's what we were speculating.

12:41 Adam Let me ask, just being a speculation, is there ever been another TV or radio show where they actually put people who are sleeping on the air?

12:50 David Alan Grier Or insulting.

12:52 We do that.

12:53 Adam I know, but just close your eyes and try to think of any other show where they actually have people that are sleeping on the air.

13:00 All right, let's, oh, what?

13:04 David Alan Grier What was that?

13:06 Drew That was when he woke up.

13:07 He woke up?

13:08 You actually woke him up?

13:09 No, he woke up on his own.

13:10 I turned around and picked up the phone, but he was already gone.

13:13 Drew I slept on the plane all day. I snored. I came in from New York, but I had to stop in Detroit, as I told you. And I got my snore on. So I can always tell by the expression on people's faces when you wake up.

13:27 Adam Yeah, that you were snoring?

13:28 Drew Yeah, dryness and...

13:29 Adam Yeah, you just had to stop over to burn an SUV and then right back to LA or what?

13:34 Drew There's nothing left to burn in Detroit. They were very well-behaved this time.

13:38 Adam Oh, they were? Yeah, they were. And we're sitting, you know, Kimmel got into a bunch of trouble for explaining that they might be burning something down. I kind of wonder if they heard that and decided, let's not make them right. Yeah.

13:50 Drew No, really, I was, I'm from Detroit. I grew up there. I was recently there. There's nothing left to burn in Detroit proper.

13:57 Adam That's it.

13:57 Drew Really? There are only about four black people in the stadium when I was at the basketball game. Oh, really? How can you work that in Detroit? But it wasn't really in Detroit.

14:08 Adam Auburn Hills, right?

14:09 Drew Bastards. That's why I wanted my Lakey Lakeums to go.

14:12 Adam Marie?

14:14 David Alan Grier Marie?

14:15 Adam You're 19, what's up?

14:18 Caller I guess this isn't really a problem, but I've only had orgasms during intercourse. I've never had it during oral sex.

14:27 David Alan Grier So, in my little formula, that would apply that you have multiple orgasms, or recurrent orgasms.

14:32 Caller I would.

14:33 David Alan Grier That you were able to have multiple orgasms.

14:37 Caller Not that, just I haven't been able to have it during oral sex only during intercourse. Not necessarily multiple.

14:44 Adam Drew, do you ever get to be right?

14:46 David Alan Grier Well, let's see if, let's see if, we have to expect the initial, no, it's whatever I propose.

14:51 Adam All right, let's keep going. Drew is starting to form theories on multi-orgasmic women. We hit Nicole Richie right on the button.

15:00 Drew Why, what, I missed that one. I heard part of it.

15:04 Adam Drew, Drew is a man of exquisite passion. He is a man of.

15:08 Drew Now, when you say passion, what does this mean?

15:10 David Alan Grier It's like David's a man of big passion too.

15:12 Drew Yeah, but no, passion means when you're horny and married.

15:15 Adam Is that what it is? No, no, what it means is.

15:18 Drew I mean, in Drew's case, cause I don't.

15:19 Adam Drew likes the ladies and no, no, he needs.

15:23 Drew Drew likes the ladies and that's Mrs. Drew or Druina.

15:27 David Alan Grier That's right.

15:27 Adam He needs the ladies. Do you know what I mean? It runs deeper than the flesh, you understand?

15:35 Drew Yes.

15:36 David Alan Grier And you guys have the same problem.

15:38 Drew No, no, I don't.

15:39 Adam No, there's some.

15:40 Drew Cause Drew won't even go in a strip club cause he goes, you flipped that switch buddy and you better drive that truck all the way to the station.

15:46 Adam That's right.

15:47 Drew I'm like, what? What does that mean?

15:49 David Alan Grier No, that's what I mean.

15:50 Drew You bake that cake, you put icing on it. I'll tell you that right now.

15:54 Adam That's what I'm saying, which is Drew's more, more animal than he is man in the bedroom. And, and there's a lot of guys this way, which the, you know what kind of, which guys these are? These are the guys who get into the fight and they have to, they have to be pulled off the guy who's been dead for 10 minutes. They're still punching him and kicking him. And then later on they're like, I don't know what happened. It was just a switch. It got flipped in my head.

16:20 Drew So Drew, when he gets off, he's like, who's the doctor?

16:22 Caller Who's the doctor? Who's the doctor baby?

16:25 Adam Oh yeah.

16:25 Caller Oh yeah.

16:44 Adam That's him, because we traveled once. He brought his wife, and it's exactly what came from the room next to me.

16:51 Drew That's great.

16:52 Adam Except for yours was longer. The point is...

16:59 Caller Cold blue, baby, cold blue!

17:06 Caller Oink!

17:11 Adam All I'm saying is, Drew's a man of passion, and when the switch gets thrown, that's it. He sees red, and she sees white, and that's it.

17:24 Caller Wow.

17:24 Adam All right.

17:25 Caller That's beautiful.

17:26 Adam Now, what the hell was... Oh, oh, and so Drew's theory is, is he can actually tune in to other people that share his passion for passion.

17:34 David Alan Grier No, it's not that. It's that I just, I understand that, you know, talking to enough women about their, we had orgasm talk for years here on this show. And we're hearing the spectrum of female response, and we sort of zeroed in to the different grouping.

17:48 Adam That's what it is. Cause basically Drew's like, oh yeah.

17:51 Caller You know, when I was, when I was still making the rounds, so to speak, my chart indicated... No, wait a minute.

18:00 Drew Nicole Richie, what?

18:02 Adam Nicole Richie was multi-orgasmic.

18:05 David Alan Grier She goes, what are you talking about? She goes, yeah. She goes, what are you talking about? The oral sex like, what a waste of time kind of thing. Yeah, and she goes, you gotta go right to the sex. Okay, that's because, mammon that have multiple orgasms are sort of, it doesn't affect, oral sex really doesn't appeal to them that much.

18:23 Drew You're wrong. You're wrong.

18:24 David Alan Grier I'm not talking about recurrent orgasm, like more than one. I mean multiple, pow.

18:30 Drew Okay, and now multiple orgasm would mean in one session. That's just not true. I was in a relationship with a woman that was absolutely not true.

18:40 Adam She enjoyed the oral sex?

18:41 Drew Yeah, and all of it.

18:43 David Alan Grier And during intercourse could have multiple?

18:45 Drew Yes, that's what she told me. I mean, at this point in my, that's what she says is my mantra. No, is my, I mean, you know, that's what she told me. I mean, I didn't put like a medical equipment on her.

18:59 Caller He'll fall apart.

19:02 Drew No, no, no, that's what she said.

19:04 David Alan Grier That's what she said.

19:05 Drew Yeah, I'm just saying that you're not, that's not, there are no absolutes.

19:08 David Alan Grier Of course not.

19:09 Drew And you seem to be a man of absolutes, Dr. Drew.

19:11 David Alan Grier No, no, no.

19:12 Drew Yes, you do.

19:13 David Alan Grier We're trying to create understanding and groupings and trends and come to understand.

19:17 Drew Well, let me just tell you, in this particular woman, no, it was-

19:20 David Alan Grier So she could have 40 orgasms during intercourse?

19:23 Drew Not 40 orgasms. I'm saying oral sex, she could have orgasms.

19:30 David Alan Grier And more than one, but not multiple, not recurrent over and over and over and over. That's what we're saying. We're taking the one-

19:36 Caller Okay, what does-

19:37 Drew What does multiple means more than one?

19:41 David Alan Grier Different kinds of multiple.

19:42 Drew Say five or six.

19:43 Adam Five or six?

19:44 Drew I give that a hand.

19:45 David Alan Grier That's not multiple. Pretty good. But Nicole Richie was saying she had an orgasm, she sat on a cold floor. Pow.

19:51 Drew This person indicated certain activities could bring that on.

19:56 David Alan Grier Like- Get up some things.

20:01 Drew I wasn't talking about that.

20:16 Caller No, but I mean, yeah, yeah.

20:19 Drew But I thought that when a woman has multiple orgasms after a certain point, it's just kind of like, you know. Yeah, yeah.

20:26 David Alan Grier There's that, too. That's a different thing. And that can keep going for, it's called persistent sexual arousal. It can go on for a few days.

20:32 Adam All right, but here's, all right, yeah.

20:34 Drew I'm not talking about like bipolar insaniacs.

20:37 David Alan Grier No, no, no.

20:38 Drew I mean, you know.

20:38 Caller Dave, we gotta get back to phones.

20:40 Adam I know, but let me ask.

20:41 Caller Wait a minute, wait a minute.

20:42 Drew Record this.

20:44 Caller What did Adam just say?

20:45 Adam What did I just say?

20:46 Drew You just said, we gotta get back to the phones.

20:50 Caller Dr. Drew.

20:50 David Alan Grier That's a first.

20:52 Drew That is, I wish I had a bottle of champagne.

20:55 David Alan Grier I would just think of that.

20:55 Caller Adam wants to heal the babies.

20:58 Adam That's right. That's right.

21:00 Drew Well, I tell you this. Any woman who has a persistent sexual arousal syndrome, whatever guy she's with, don't get it twisted. That's how she came.

21:08 All right.

21:09 David Alan Grier We're just basically bystanders.

21:12 Drew Lucky enough to pull the right girl.

21:14 Next caller, please.

21:15 Adam Drew, let me ask you real quick. Do you think, and pretend your wife isn't listening for a second, do you think by just being around a woman, getting a vibe off, or talking to her for a little bit, you could make the decision whether she was the multi-orgasm?

21:30 David Alan Grier Not with great accuracy, but I think I could.

21:32 Adam Yeah.

21:34 Caller Hello?

21:35 David Alan Grier Yeah.

21:35 Adam Marie? Yeah, all right. So you have an orgasm during intercourse.

21:41 Caller Yeah, but I only have one, so it's not multiple. I just have one regular one.

21:45 Adam And nothing during oral sex?

21:49 Caller It's not that it doesn't feel good. It does feel good, but it doesn't escalate to anything else.

21:54 Adam Maybe he's not... How is he? How's he doing? Is he doing a decent job?

21:59 Caller He does a pretty good job. He's the only guy I've ever been with.

22:03 Caller Yeah, I don't know.

22:05 Caller And we did try a vibrator and that just didn't do too much for me. But is there anything? Well, my guess is like, because girls don't have orgasms during sex, they get it during, you know, oral. And then since I get it during sex, shouldn't I get it easier during oral?

22:23 David Alan Grier No. That's what we were talking about. That is not necessarily a direct relationship there. You might think so.

22:28 Adam Whatever it is, at 19 year ahead of the game, getting it, you have a much better chance of getting it orally than you do of getting it through intercourse.

22:36 David Alan Grier If you have with intercourse, you're more likely to be able to switch over to oral, but not the converse, true.

22:41 Drew And it's going to get better when she gets older, as she gets older, date someone else, hopefully.

22:47 Adam And I'm guessing if she got with the right guy, they could probably work this thing out.

22:53 Drew This isn't the wrong guy, because, you know, he's doing something right, but, you know.

22:56 David Alan Grier Yeah.

22:57 Adam She's, they're just working. They're feeling their way out. You know, we're going to take a break. David Alan Grier is in the studio tonight. He's going to be at the Irvine Improv. That is such a...

23:08 Caller Working it out, putting it down, lecturing the people, commiserating to my Lakers. Why did you do it?

23:16 Caller You're from Detroit. Kobe, you bastard.

23:18 Caller You're from Detroit.

23:19 Caller I am too. I know I'm from Detroit, but the Pistons are from Pontiac.

23:24 Adam I don't understand this. But let me say how refreshing it is, by the way, to have someone that's into a local sports team out here, because every A-hole in this city is either from the East Coast or Mexico. So it's either soccer or you're Mets fan. And everybody I know is either from Pittsburgh, Chicago or New York. And once in a while, there's some weird guys from Wisconsin or Indiana. There's nobody who's from LA.

23:53 David Alan Grier As rare as that is, what's even more characteristic of those few that are like Dag, and Dag is not like this particular, but there are LA fans, they'll go, oh, they'll be gung ho. They lose a series and they're like, well, what are the Dodgers up to? No, no, no. No, the feeling.

24:08 Drew I tell you, this is where these Lakers need tough love. Fellas, I know you're listening. I love you, regardless of your selfish, insignificant playing, I love you. And have lots of fun and good luck on the next time you team you'll be playing with.

24:23 Adam Do you know any of the guys?

24:25 Drew Yeah, I do.

24:25 Adam You do?

24:25 Drew I know Shaq, I met Shaq when he was in Orlando.

24:28 Adam Oh, really?

24:29 Drew Yeah, I know Shaq. I've met Kobe, I don't really know him, Derek Fisher, Robert Ory. Every party I went to there was Robert.

24:38 Adam Seems like Robert smoked some weed.

24:39 Drew No, I never saw him do anything like that. He's a pretty nice guy, pretty good guy. Carl Malone, all those guys.

24:47 Adam We're going to take ourselves a little break. I took a spinning class with Luke Walton, actually.

24:54 Drew Did you?

24:55 Adam No. But it sounded so specific, it had to be true. David Alan Grier, DAG, my main man in studio tonight.

25:02 Caller Dr. Groni, baby. Shout out, Freddy Spencer's motorcycle racing school.

25:07 Drew I just went there, man. Oh, I went there again. Second time dropping that knee.

25:11 Caller Forgot about that.

25:13 Caller Love it. All right.

25:13 Adam We got to take a break. We're going to talk about the racing with the Dagman. And by the way, defies all black stereotypes. Goes to motorcycle racing school and goes down on women. With regularity. We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back.

25:31 Caller Loveline will be right back, so get your problems ready.

25:48 Adam I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1, David Alan Grier, my main man.

25:55 Drew Please remain seated. You know, Adam, they started shooting The Surreal Life next door to me again, which is not another...

26:02 David Alan Grier Who's in it?

26:03 Drew Does it matter? I just am buying explosives now because I just want to blow up the entire house.

26:07 Adam They're coming up and down the street with fans and trucks.

26:10 Drew Like it's a Coppola movie.

26:12 Adam Yeah.

26:13 Drew Oh, I say that. Yes, go to Hades!

26:18 Adam Do they get me up in the morning?

26:20 Drew They don't keep me up in the morning, but they constantly have to ride with the vans with the doors open and they have to stop in the middle of the street to have that really important conversation. Man, we need more donuts at the table too.

26:33 Caller Off to the south of hell, man.

26:36 Adam Now, do they know you're in the neighborhood? Because...

26:38 Caller They will.

26:39 Adam In the surreal house, they walk around, they go from door to door sometimes.

26:43 Drew They do, but they don't want to come to my door. They don't discourage that early on.

26:47 Adam Oh, you did?

26:47 David Alan Grier Why do they go door to door?

26:48 Drew Just see what happens. It's real. They were walking up and down the street one day and I just came...

26:53 Adam It's zany.

26:53 Drew Yeah, I came rolling down the hill and I was like, not gonna stop. So they scattered and after that, it was cool. But they invited me on, you know, they send you little flyers and I was like, keep away you bastards.

27:03 Adam That's right.

27:04 David Alan Grier But now your show's canceled, so maybe you're gonna...

27:06 Drew No, when I go in there, just trust me. Just get me into rehab.

27:09 Adam Isn't that... Speaking of rehab, isn't that Glen Campbell's old house?

27:15 Drew It is, Glen Campbell built it. I was in there.

27:17 Adam Just got, is it, yeah, well, is it nice?

27:19 Drew And well, no, it needs to be dynamited, but a couple took over it and they bought it, they redid it, but then my neighbors just told me they sold it and I was like, great, so that means no, and then like the next day, the Surreal Life moves in. So, my darkest fear is that maybe Surreal Life bought the house.

27:37 David Alan Grier What happened to poor Glen Campbell?

27:39 Drew He's in jail.

27:40 David Alan Grier But I mean, he went so far. You never had the wholesome Glen Campbell.

27:43 Adam Well, he got a DUI. I don't know.

27:47 David Alan Grier I think alcohols have happened to him. I guess the whole story.

27:50 Adam It does seem to me. Uh-oh, no skin.

27:52 David Alan Grier Well, it's all sugar.

27:53 Adam Yeah. What the hell do you know?

27:56 Caller Drinking, coke.

27:59 Caller Uh-oh, they party.

28:00 Drew Well, no, that all happened before I got here, but he was a minister, kind of born again or something. Very religious. You know the deal.

28:07 Adam That's always trouble.

28:08 Drew It just, or else, ah, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing.

28:11 Adam Yeah.

28:12 Drew So right now I think he has a little trouble, but get better, you know. I always wish the best for people.

28:17 Adam Here's the problem with shows on the WB and you, they will never, never cancel a show on the WB.

28:24 Drew No.

28:24 Adam So that, and if it has even moderate success, it's going to be on for at least an eight year run. So Surreal House is on its third season. It's moderately successful and that's it. Loveline, put it this way, it's on the WB. You've heard of it, right? There you go. That is a runaway hit. So get used to it, Dag.

28:44 Caller Yes, it's horrifying.

28:45 Adam All right. And David, you say you went to a motorcycle riding school.

28:50 Drew Yes, the wonderful Freddie Spencer, Freddie Spencer School. We're doing Two Wheel Tuesdays. They did a special on the school. I went last year, I went this year. It was beautiful. 100 degrees out there, racing our little 100, 600.

29:03 Caller Dragging the knee.

29:05 Drew The first time you do it, you go, what is that scraping? Oh my God, that is my knee. Full leathers. Oh, full leathers, full leathers. And here's what happened. I left my leathers. I took my own leathers and I had to go. So I jammed them in my bag. And then I went to New York to do this carry benefit. And then I came home and I just opened my bag. So it's been cooking in there for a good four or five days.

29:28 Adam Got some real.

29:29 Drew Oh, that's beautiful.

29:30 Adam Sack and cow, it's a great combination.

29:32 Drew That's wonderful.

29:34 Adam And you know, it's funny because you've told me about this school before, but I didn't know you were that much into bikes. Do you have a motorcycle?

29:42 Drew I have one, yeah. Yeah, I bought one. You did? I've had a couple before. And for a while I was on a loan program. So the companies would just give you a bike, you know? So I rode a bunch of different kinds of bikes until I decided which one I wanted. Ducati? No, I don't have a Duke. I have a Jixer, Jixer 1000. It's a Suzuki, it's amazing, amazing motorcycle. But I'm going to get a Ducati.

30:05 Adam Now how fast did you get going on that track, by the way, with the, with the big bike?

30:08 Drew Over a hundred miles an hour. About, someone clocked us on the straightaway. 114, something like that.

30:15 Adam There were people, which is pretty impressive.

30:18 Drew Look, Drew's just sitting there like nuts, nuts there. The speed thing. Why, only speed things? How dare you.

30:30 Adam People.

30:31 Drew Drew, you can go in and see David now. He dragged his knee and his head on the last corner.

30:37 Caller Why, what, what, what, what?

30:38 Drew It was fun.

30:38 Adam Leave him alone. He's having a good time.

30:40 Drew It's fun, look at you. Everything that's good, and people and women who have multiple orgasms are what? Crazy, they're lunatics. Men who like to do exciting, dangerous things are what? Loopy, nuts, crazy, bananas.

30:53 Adam I'm addicted to porn, I'm addicted to alcohol, taking an occasional ass in the shower, somehow deviant.

30:59 Drew No, that's deviant.

31:00 Adam Oh, it is?

31:01 Drew Yeah.

31:01 Caller How dare you? What are you talking about?

31:04 Drew About the porn, that doesn't serve anything.

31:07 David Alan Grier Doesn't serve any purpose?

31:08 Drew Yeah.

31:10 David Alan Grier To me?

31:10 Drew In your opinion.

31:12 Adam As a matter of fact, Drew is too passionate for porn, yes, Drew?

31:15 Drew Oh, that's right, that's right. He's too addictive for porn. Because he cannot regulate his behavior.

31:22 Adam Well, you understand, for me, porn is a circle. It's a beginning, it's a middle, and it's an end.

31:28 Drew There you go.

31:29 Adam It's a circle. For you, it's just the beginning. You would have to go out and rape.

31:33 David Alan Grier I see.

31:35 Adam You would be compelled to rape.

31:36 David Alan Grier I see.

31:38 Adam It'd be the kind of thing where Drew would be looking at porn, and all of a sudden, he'd see his housekeeper's fat ass, and you'd hear music sting and his eyes light up. And he'd just head right down the hall like an animal. Hey, Adam, yeah, it's a line.

31:55 Drew Let's time, let's pump the brakes here. I think it's time to save some babies. All right.

32:01 Adam He's right. Tatiana? Tatanya?

32:06 Tatanya.

32:07 Adam What's happening, Tatanya?

32:15 I cheated on my girlfriend with my best friend this was late last year, early this year.

32:20 Adam You cheated on your girlfriend or your best friend? True, please.

32:24 I cheated on my girlfriend.

32:26 Adam Your girlfriend.

32:26 David Alan Grier Your lesbian.

32:28 Adam Yes.

32:29 David Alan Grier With your best friend.

32:30 Caller Yes.

32:31 David Alan Grier And your best friend is straight?

32:33 Caller No, she wasn't.

32:36 Adam So your best friend is a lesbian and your girlfriend's a lesbian.

32:40 Caller And you- And she fell in love with me more than so that I did her because I've been with my girlfriend for a long time.

32:51 Drew How many years? How many years?

32:56 David Alan Grier Since you were 13?

32:57 Caller Yeah.

32:59 David Alan Grier How old is your girlfriend?

33:01 Caller Huh?

33:02 David Alan Grier How old is your girlfriend?

33:03 Caller She's five months older than me.

33:05 Adam All right. All right, so everyone's screwed up and everyone's going at each other.

33:10 David Alan Grier It was a very unstable situation.

33:12 Adam All right, but you know the good news is? And no pregnancies.

33:15 David Alan Grier No prenses, good news, but somebody could get hurt.

33:17 Drew And no sexual disease.

33:20 David Alan Grier Not as likely.

33:23 Caller She wanted to be with me. I told her that I did love her. She's the only other girl that I've loved besides my girlfriend. And I told her that we couldn't be together because I didn't want to hurt her like that. And.

33:42 Adam What's the matter?

33:44 Caller I killed herself.

33:47 Adam Wow. How long ago was this?

33:49 Caller It was April the 8th.

33:51 Adam April the 8th. All right. So what is that? Three months? Two and a half months ago? And she killed herself because of the unrequited love thing? Because you didn't give her love back?

34:04 Caller No, it's because she wanted to be with me so bad and I couldn't give it to her.

34:08 David Alan Grier She'd never been suicidal before? So she was a depressive, was she on treatment?

34:17 I've known her longer than I've known my girlfriend.

34:19 Caller I've known her like eight, nine years.

34:21 David Alan Grier Was she on treatment before?

34:23 Caller No.

34:23 David Alan Grier She'd never been treated for depression, even though she'd been trying to kill herself?

34:26 No, because I was the only one who knew about that stuff.

34:31 Caller Well, look...

34:32 David Alan Grier That, by the way, is where things went wrong, right there. It's not that you didn't reciprocate her love. You can't be responsible for everyone's relationships. I know. But the fact that you knew she was suicidal and depressed is for other people to listen. You know somebody's suicidal. If you know somebody who's contemplating suicide, you get them to help. There's about a 20% fatality rate with depression. One out of five people with depression will kill themselves.

34:58 Adam That's when we didn't make a call on Dag's behalf, or you.

35:00 David Alan Grier No, but like... I almost did.

35:02 Adam Oh, really?

35:02 David Alan Grier Oh, yeah. I was watching him. But I put the PET team on him.

35:06 Adam Not me, I was laughing.

35:07 Caller But like, he was like really happy like for like almost a year and then like I told her that we couldn't.

35:16 Adam Well, well, okay. So do you hold yourself responsible in some way? You do? Okay, well, look, here's... Yeah, here's the thing. She was a screwed up person that was very depressed. And this is how you kill yourself. You have to be depressed to begin with, and you have to be screwed up, quite honestly.

35:37 David Alan Grier What would the alternatives be? That you left your girlfriend for somebody because she threatened, became threatening? No, she didn't even threaten, she just told me. I know, but let's think about the alternatives. How could you possibly have made it different? How could you... Let's say you are responsible for the sake of argument. What would you have done? You can't, it's not your fault. You really had no control over her illness. She had an illness.

36:00 Drew Maybe she should get into treatment herself. So she better understands the depression and what causes this. If you're not at fault.

36:11 Caller I know, like depression and everything, but now my girlfriend does not understand why I'm so distraught.

36:20 David Alan Grier Again, that's not your girlfriend's problem either. It's yours and you need to take care of yourself and get some help for this.

36:25 Drew Maybe you should be by yourself for a while.

36:28 Caller No, but I don't want to hurt her.

36:29 David Alan Grier Ooh, you're thinking of leaving her. Tell her what?

36:38 Caller That me and her, we're together.

36:41 Adam No, no, no.

36:44 Drew You have to get some treatment.

36:45 David Alan Grier You do not tell anybody anything till you get somebody under your care, or to care for you. You don't say anything to anybody until you get some help because this is a situation that's already unstable enough and you're gonna make it worse if you start taking things into your own hands at this point.

37:01 Adam Hey, do you have any family? You do? Where's your dad?

37:07 Caller My mom has 11 kids, including myself.

37:11 Adam That's abuse, by the way.

37:13 No.

37:14 Adam How many dads? 14 dads?

37:17 No, same father.

37:18 Adam Same dad, 11 kids? He sleeps a lot. Holy Christ. And he's a-

37:24 Caller We're half Jewish, half Catholic, so.

37:28 Adam Wow, you gotta get you guys over to Israel and populate that place. That's my plan, Drew. I'll tell you about it later.

37:35 Caller I can't keep me here in the house and telling her.

37:39 David Alan Grier All right, well then, if you're ready, if you're gonna tell her, you're gonna tell her only after you've got some help for yourself. Do not tell her, do not do anything, do not make any decisions until you get in the hands of somebody that can be there for you. Period, period, period.

37:52 Caller 11 kids.

37:54 Adam And by the way, I don't know what my number is, but maybe over six, I basically look at as abuse, unless you're talking about the Waynes, because that's a great group there.

38:05 Caller That is a showbiz dynasty there.

38:07 Adam What do they got, seven kids over there?

38:09 Drew Ten, five girls and five boys.

38:14 Adam And you know, it's always the same thing too. We had an eight level bunk bed, and then mama got pregnant again. It's like, really?

38:23 Caller Really?

38:23 Adam Look, if you have a sprawling estate, even then it's pushing it, you know? You guys all packed into one toaster oven and working on kid number 12. You know, at what point does somebody get like a-

38:39 Drew You know, when you don't- Yeah, when you don't expend your sexual energy building houses, bigger pools, the pool rules.

38:46 David Alan Grier Have you been up there lately to see the pool?

38:47 Drew Yeah, I see it. I run around the reservoir. It looks beautiful. It looks fabulous. Are you guys going to move into that house or what?

38:53 Adam Never.

38:54 Just look at it.

38:54 Adam Yes.

38:55 Yes.

38:55 Adam Dag, I'd like to invite you to my home.

38:57 Drew But wait a minute. Where do you guys live now? Which house number two?

39:00 Adam Yeah. Yeah.

39:02 Drew You live in the- Well, we'll talk on the break. No, no.

39:04 Caller I don't want to give people the location.

39:06 David Alan Grier By the Hollywood sign.

39:07 Adam By the Hollywood sign.

39:08 Drew No, you got to move. You got to move to a new house, man.

39:10 Adam Yeah, I'm getting close.

39:11 Drew All right.

39:13 Adam I want to talk about the Wayans for a second here. I saw them on Oprah.

39:20 Drew All of them?

39:20 Adam I saw like four of them on Oprah.

39:22 Drew Well, it was. It was about white chicks.

39:25 Adam Marlon and.

39:26 Drew Marlon, Sean, Keenan, Damon and Kim.

39:29 Adam Uh-huh. Oh, right. Because Kim's in it too.

39:33 Drew In the family?

39:33 Adam In white chicks.

39:34 Drew No, is she? I don't know.

39:36 Adam I don't know. They're plugging the new movie. I'm guessing she's in it. Otherwise.

39:39 Caller All right.

39:40 Adam And everything's cool. Do you guys hang out?

39:43 Drew I do. Damon works out over there with Terry. I see him. Let's see. Keenan does. Sean does. Sean and Marlon, we all were in Miami recently. When I was there performing, I ran into him 6 a.m. on the plane. It was a descent into hell.

40:05 Caller What?

40:07 Adam They must be talking about living in living color reunions all the time.

40:14 Drew Not not with us.

40:16 Caller Why not?

40:17 Drew We did it.

40:18 Adam Well, I know you don't want to, but it's like the Carol Burnett show.

40:22 Drew Who wants that old. I remember when we were funny.

40:26 Adam You don't you don't. Actually, I don't remember when David's funny.

40:40 David Alan Grier I really think there's a musical in the future.

40:44 Adam The point is, is you guys may not want to do it, but I bet people every eight months have an idea of getting the lands back together.

40:52 David Alan Grier It's Debra Gibson.

40:52 Adam Debra Gibson.

40:53 David Alan Grier We got to take.

41:03 Caller All right.

41:03 Adam David Alan Grier, Dag, my main man in studio tonight at the Irvine Improv.

41:09 Caller Friday, Saturday and Sunday.

41:14 Adam We'll take ourselves a quick break and we'll be right back after this. Uh-oh, that's Dr. Drew.

41:49 Caller David Allen Grier.

41:54 Caller 1, 2, 3, 4, 5.

41:56 Caller No, you've done all that.

41:58 Caller You have it.

41:59 Drew You're not even gonna play it anymore. See, he's not even playing the drop now. He's playing, you know, redneck drop.

42:04 David Alan Grier You just sing to this?

42:05 Caller No, I'm gonna go.

42:06 Drew Because you know what? You're telling me...

42:08 Caller No, you're telling me we hate you.

42:10 Adam No.

42:11 Caller Especially that man in...

42:12 Caller Where did he go?

42:13 Adam No, don't go.

42:14 Drew No, I'm gonna go. Why should I be here and help people?

42:35 Caller Yeah, we did that too.

42:42 Adam It's the best of David Alan Grier.

42:46 Drew I'm just a half a shell of a man. I like a girl with a big butt, but fruit in demand. Dough is juicy, is sweet, cuz it's fruit and in demand. No, I'm matured, I've grown up. Finally hanging up my dancing shoes.

43:04 Adam Dag can be found, by the way, tomorrow, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday at the Irvine Improv.

43:10 Drew Throwing down.

43:11 Adam That's right, throwing down. All right, let's get back to the phones here.

43:17 Drew Adam, I am so pleasantly surprised that you are committed to save these children. When are you gonna have some babies yourself?

43:23 Adam I'm working on it, Dag.

43:25 Drew What would be better? Dr. Drew, to see Adam with two little twin boys with no athletic ability.

43:33 Caller And there he is on the playground. Come on, boys.

43:36 David Alan Grier I'm just waiting for that day.

43:38 Adam One of them is going gay. I can tell you that right now.

43:40 David Alan Grier That day of transformation.

43:45 Drew I'd have kids.

43:47 Adam Where are your kids?

43:48 Drew They're yet to come into this world.

43:51 Adam What's up? Do you want kids?

43:52 Drew I do, I do.

43:52 Adam You do? Is that part of the plan?

43:54 Drew Yeah, but you have to meet someone you want to spend your life with first. You know, Adam, you just don't knock someone up willy-nilly and say, honey, let's make this legal.

44:03 Adam Tell that to the Wayans' parents, by the way.

44:07 Drew They have a plan. Come on, they do. They're great parents. They stay together. They're still together, Mr. and Mrs. Wayans. They should do a movie on them. They never ever were on public assistance.

44:18 Adam Really?

44:18 Drew Nope. They brought their kids up. Wonderful family, yes.

44:23 Adam And do the kids throw them a little cash now?

44:27 Drew Oh, yeah. They take very good care of their parents. Bottom houses and all that stuff. Kenan takes care of everybody. I mean, they all do. It's a wonderful family.

44:36 Caller Let's heal some babies. Yes, let's save some chillin.

44:42 Adam You're 23. What's up?

44:46 Caller I got a question mainly for Dr. Drew. You guys spoke, I think, maybe a week ago. You talked about how canker sores and fever blisters are a form of herpes and that it can be transmitted through oral sex, right? Right. Okay. Well, I wondered, I've got a wart on one hand, just a common everyday wart. I wanted to know if you can give someone genital warts by the same method.

45:13 David Alan Grier It's actually a possibility, but it's a rather unusual means of transmission.

45:17 Adam Giving them genital warts?

45:19 David Alan Grier From a simple wart.

45:20 Adam Oh, from the hand.

45:20 David Alan Grier From the hand, yeah.

45:21 Adam Oh yeah, we don't hear about that.

45:23 David Alan Grier Yeah, you don't tend not to have, but I've heard of it happening.

45:25 Adam Finger blast away, is that what Drew's saying.

45:28 David Alan Grier It doesn't happen the other way. You definitely don't get hand warts from genital warts. But this is, you know, this is, Adam, the recent data showed 70% HPV rates in certain populations. 70%?

45:43 Drew HPV rates, PV rates, that's warts?

45:46 David Alan Grier Wart virus.

45:47 Drew But wart virus, does that mean that they all have warts or that they have a virus?

45:51 David Alan Grier They have a virus. Most of the time it causes warts. And if the virus persists, it will definitely cause warts. And that's the one that tends to also cause cervical cancer.

45:58 Adam Well, let me say this real quick.

46:00 Drew So if it's 70% now, this is like when? Hasn't that gone up sharply in the last few years?

46:06 David Alan Grier It's always hovered around 50%.

46:08 Drew Really? So pretty soon it's going to be 100%.

46:10 Adam It'll be passed.

46:11 David Alan Grier Nearly 120%.

46:12 Adam Yeah, by January. Let me say this real quick. We gotta go to break. But Dag, we're talking about herpes. Drew's spoken about anal herpes in the past. He's talking about getting them on the anus area.

46:26 David Alan Grier Anal warts, so pretty.

46:27 Adam And anal cancer. And anal HPV. The anal warts and the anal herpes. And then of course those need to be burned off. And the smell that comes from those. Are you getting sick, Dag? Are you able to stand?

46:41 Drew Don't try and relive my last words. I'm impervious. That's not how you got there before.

46:47 Caller You forgot.

46:48 Drew I'm not even going to cue you. I'll tell you during the break.

46:50 Caller It has to do with you and your own butt.

46:55 David Alan Grier That paper machine is going to last a taste.

46:57 Adam We got to take a break.

46:58 Caller I am here to heal the kids.

47:03 Adam Drew, that's enough saying. We got to go to break.

47:06 Caller Here it is.

47:06 Caller Bottom line, it sucks being single today.

47:09 Tons of lame people and no decent prospects.

47:11 Caller Call the Dateline. Call the Dateline. Call the Dateline. 1-877-889-DATE. Loveline will be right back, so get your problems ready.

47:47 Caller Hey, everybody, it's Loveline.

47:50 Adam I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew. He's DAG. He's in the studio tonight. He's gonna be at the Irvine Improv tomorrow, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday.

48:06 Drew Putting it down, election of peoples in South Bay.

48:14 David Alan Grier Oh, it's County. Isn't there Laguna? South Bay's redondoing that stuff.

48:19 Adam Yeah, but a lot of people travel.

48:20 Caller Oh, look at little mister, little mister, LA.

48:23 Drew South Bay's redondoing the Irvine. Anything you can cause addiction on. Did you know that?

48:31 Adam Drew spent a lot of time in Laguna.

48:33 Drew Well, he's addicted to directions, apparently.

48:35 David Alan Grier No, you want people to come, you don't want them thinking of the South Bay.

48:38 Caller It's in Irvine!

48:40 Adam All right, it's called the Irvine Improv. It's right in there. And what Dag was saying is a lot of folks from the South Bay go there to pick up what Dag is putting down. Plus, a lot of those folks have never seen a black man.

48:51 Drew They had one out there.

48:53 Adam Oh, they did?

48:53 Drew Ken Norton, Ken Norton came out.

48:55 Adam Oh, he did?

48:56 Drew Uh, yep.

48:57 Caller Bip, bip, bip, pow!

49:00 Drew And something else. Who else came out there? One other black guy who actually lived out there.

49:04 Adam Came out to your show?

49:05 Caller Yeah.

49:06 Drew I always put the spotlight on him, let him know. Kenny Norton and Sugar Ray Leonard came to one performance.

49:13 Adam Really?

49:14 Caller Wow.

49:14 Drew And I think Sugar Ray got a little upset because I was going, you know, Ken Norton, you know, I was giving him props. I was trying to give him 50-50 props, you know, but maybe I may have leaned on Ken Norton a little bit, you know, more than, it's like when, you know.

49:28 Adam And Ken Norton, I mean, Sugar Ray, much better fighter than Ken Norton. Ken Norton was just a beast and...

49:35 Drew Yeah, but he was also of his time, you know, Ken Norton fought Muhammad Ali. Which... He broke his jaw, right? Didn't he break his jaw?

49:43 Adam Yeah, broke his jaw and beat him.

49:45 Drew Big, big fight.

49:46 Adam It wasn't a title fight, though. Uh-uh. Weird, boxing's a weird sport, but... And also, boxing's a weird sport in the sense that, you know, Ken Norton will beat Muhammad Ali, Muhammad Ali will beat George Foreman, and George Foreman will beat Ken Norton in 30 seconds. You know what I mean? How's that work?

50:05 Drew Did you see the De La Hoya fight?

50:06 Adam Yeah, uh-uh.

50:08 Drew Yep.

50:08 David Alan Grier When was this?

50:09 Adam That was a couple weekends ago. Yeah, yeah, they're looking for a big fight with him and Bernard Hopkins.

50:15 Drew I think he just had a big fight.

50:17 Adam Well, yeah, De La Hoya's stepping up and waiting a little bit, and they're looking for a super fight with Bernard Hopkins, but they do that stupid tune-up fight first, and sometimes the tune-up fights don't go as planned.

50:29 Drew Right, this one almost didn't go as planned.

50:31 Adam Almost didn't go as planned, but...

50:32 Drew Some people think it didn't go as planned.

50:34 Adam I'll say this, the young German guy he fought was very game, and actually really good.

50:40 Drew Well, let's ask the devil. He may have had a part in that.

50:43 Adam Yeah.

50:44 Caller I think he lost.

50:46 Caller Oh.

50:46 He lost the fight.

50:47 Adam The devil says, De La Hoya lost.

50:48 I was responsible for the Lakers going down.

50:50 Adam Oh, really?

50:51 Caller It's amazing what a little eagle will do.

50:53 Adam What else did you have a hand in, like, Titanic?

50:57 David Alan Grier Were you the girl that claimed that Kobe, is that you?

51:01 Oh, no, that really happened.

51:02 Adam Oh, that happened.

51:07 Caller Have a bad day.

51:10 Adam Even the devil says, thank God.

51:11 We hate saying it, though.

51:13 Adam He doesn't want to say it, but he has to say it. Mark?

51:17 What's up, Ace Corolla?

51:18 Adam You're 25, what's up?

51:20 Caller What's up, first of all, I gotta say, love the show, listen to it every night at work in Louisville, Kentucky.

51:26 Adam Thank you.

51:27 Caller Yep, and I wanna ask Dag. Yeah, I've seen you on Country. I'm a black delight country playboy.

51:34 Drew Right, right, right. I'm not in charge of the music.

51:36 Caller Another punk ass bopping them rocks.

51:39 Drew There we go.

51:40 Caller Yeah, yeah, yeah. Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh, uh, uh. Now, stop and jiggle with it.

51:50 Caller All right, I wanna ask you how it was doing Sesame Street, and I wanna know how it felt working with E-40 on Three Stripes, the movie you did a while back.

51:58 Drew Well, E-40 was nice, man. Three Strikes was great, it was really loose, but the Sesame Street, Sesame Street happened right, let's see, it happened a few months after 9-11, and it was the day that, remember that plane crashed in Queens?

52:15 Adam Yeah, Airbus.

52:16 Drew Yeah, yeah, the same deal. It was really fun, it was really fun, because all the puppeteers are like, they're the same people who started with Sesame Street, and Sesame Street is so young, I could do jokes that would go over the little kid's heads and have fun. I was a genie, I was a genie who couldn't tie his shoe.

52:33 Adam So in Sesame Street, the puppeteers have been doing the same gig for 30 years?

52:38 Drew 20 or 25, 30 years.

52:39 Caller Wow.

52:40 Drew And they're right there, so you're talking to the little muppets and stuff.

52:43 David Alan Grier So Bert and Ernie are the same guys.

52:44 Drew Yeah, yeah, yeah.

52:46 Caller Really?

52:47 Drew And they had the real Cookie Monster, and what, Carol, what's his butt, was Big Bird.

52:54 Adam Where do they shoot it?

52:55 Drew None of your beeswax. They shoot it in Astoria, Queens. Silver Cup Studio, Silver Cup? Yeah, yeah, they were over there, man. It was nice. It was very cool. I did the Elma Palooza, too.

53:09 Adam What's that? It gets around.

53:11 Drew Elma Palooza was like back in like, was it 98, 99? Everybody in show business was the thing, like Chris Rock, John Stewart, the Fugees, I'll tell you. Gloria Estefan, everybody for this big Elma Palooza.

53:23 Adam Kids and AIDS, you can get anybody. You just, you do a thing where you're like, you just call Tom Cruise, it's like, hey, I got a little raise of money for kids with AIDS. And it's like, they're over at your house the next day. You couldn't get them on your TV show, you couldn't go around the room, you can't come to do anything. But all of a sudden, I, you know, they do this thing. I've just seen in the newspaper the other day, that Glazer Pediatric AIDS Foundation thing, where they get all celebrities out at the park and they do like a circus. Yeah, they get everybody. They get to the biggest names in show business and it's all, they love the AIDS.

53:58 Drew Now, did you contribute your time to this worthy cause?

54:02 Adam I'm not a big enough celebrity for that.

54:04 Drew I did it many years. I did it quite a few years and after a certain point I stopped, I just said.

54:08 Adam He said, yeah. I let other people go. He sort of realized that AIDS was kind of, you know, back burner issue for David.

54:15 Drew We have bigger things.

54:16 Adam Yeah.

54:16 Drew Like, let's end yeast infections. That's right.

54:21 Adam That's a more practical thing. Hey Mark.

54:23 Caller Yo.

54:24 Adam Are you done with my main man, Dag?

54:27 Caller Well, I bought me a lemon color series also. Oh, you did.

54:31 Drew Beautiful.

54:31 Adam You got the DVD?

54:33 Caller Yes, sir.

54:34 Drew The second year is coming out.

54:36 Adam Not only does Dag not get paid for that.

54:37 Drew The second year is coming out.

54:38 Adam It actually cost him. Because they make it.

54:41 Drew Yeah, we get paid a pittance.

54:43 Adam Wouldn't be funny. It's like, listen Dave, if you signed a really bad deal, not only are you not being compensated, we actually need some front money to get these things up.

54:52 Caller We owe you.

54:53 Adam Yeah, it's gonna cost you about a nickel a disc. So hopefully keep your fingers crossed it won't move too good.

54:58 Drew Year two, year two is coming out next.

55:02 Adam How many seasons were there all together? I'm gonna write that. How many seasons?

55:18 David Alan Grier Four. Four.

55:20 Drew 1990 to 1994.

55:21 Caller Wow.

55:24 Adam And who passed, now was Carrey there all four years? You were there all four years?

55:30 Drew Yeah, I was there. Keenan left after the second year.

55:32 Adam Yeah, then Tommy Pezone Davidson when...

55:40 Drew Tommy stayed, did Kelly stay? Jamie came in the second year.

55:44 David Alan Grier Kim was there.

55:45 Drew Kim was there, but she left, I think in the third year or something, and you know, coming and going.

55:50 Adam I'll tell you the show, it really, it's really endured. I mean, people talk about it just the same as they did. I mean, okay, the show ended 10 years ago. You expect people to talk about something for a couple of years, and then have it just sort of slip away.

56:05 Drew I thought it was going to be 18 months. I really did. I was like, I talked to my agent. I said, okay, I figured I got like 18 months. And people are still talking about it. I'm amazed.

56:14 Adam Yeah, thanks.

56:15 Caller I'm amazed, baby.

56:16 Adam Ashley? You're 17? What's the matter, baby doll?

56:22 Caller Well, I was wondering, I've been sexually molested, and I was wondering if that's going to have a problem and affect me and my relationships or affect me sexually.

56:31 Adam Mm, yes, yes, yes and yes. Who did this to you?

56:37 Caller Well, one time it was when I was nine years old and I was at my dad's house, and he was, my dad's an alcoholic, and he was passed out, and my menswear to our cousin tried to rape me. And he was like, my dad's age is not older.

56:51 Adam Oh my God. Let me say this, perfectly normal, perfectly healthy. And you're, and, but he tried to, but he didn't.

56:59 Caller No, I hid.

57:01 Adam You hid, all right. So that could freak you out. And then of course you got the alcoholic dad who's passing out.

57:06 David Alan Grier That's part of the problem. Okay, and then there was another assault?

57:09 Caller Yeah, it was two weeks ago.

57:11 David Alan Grier Uh-oh, what happened?

57:13 Caller I was coming home from my friend's house, and my friend John was taking me home.

57:16 David Alan Grier Oh, you know John.

57:18 Adam Oh, Johnny?

57:19 David Alan Grier Yeah.

57:21 Adam Taking him home.

57:22 Caller We were sitting in his car or whatever, and he turned off his keys because we were getting ready. He was getting ready to walk me to my house. And he was like, no, he was like, just sitting here with me for a minute. And I was like, okay, whatever. Well, sitting in there, it turned out to be like, I don't know, 45 minutes. And finally, I was like, I just want to go home. Well, he like grabbed a hole in him from like my shoulders and pulled me forward and tried to start kissing me and stuff, tried to stick his hand up my pants.

57:45 Adam Well, wait, you guys were just sitting in the car for 45 minutes talking?

57:51 Caller Sort of, because we've been friends for like a long while, which he's never, ever done anything like this to me, but it's-

57:56 David Alan Grier I understand, but if you weren't talking, what were you doing?

57:59 Adam They were.

58:00 Caller We were talking to them, but we were also just listening to music.

58:05 Adam They're hanging out. You're parking, you're parked out in front of your house?

58:08 Caller Yeah.

58:09 Caller All right.

58:10 Caller And like he started trying to put his hand up my pants and I kept telling him to quit. And I told him, no, but I just want to go home or whatever. And he was like, he like quit from me and then he grabbed a hole in my shoulders again. And then finally I said it loud enough to the point where he quit. But then he, he basically like almost fair me through my pants with scared the hell out of me.

58:34 Adam Dag did that to me during the break.

58:36 Drew And I saw it.

58:36 Adam You asked for it.

58:38 Drew No means yes in there.

58:39 Adam I was tying my shoe.

58:40 Drew Yeah, right.

58:41 Adam I was tied. I was tied.

58:43 Drew I don't think I can stand up, Dag.

58:45 Adam I was tied in my Ugg. So you're out in front of your house, right?

58:50 David Alan Grier Yeah. So at the point, the point is she had a lot of trauma. And this guy sort of jumped her and really brought her back.

58:56 Adam Not your fault.

58:57 Caller So my mom wasn't there to help me.

58:58 Adam All right, can you open the car door and just run out?

59:02 Caller Well, I tried to and you locked the door first.

59:06 David Alan Grier Yeah, unlock it though and go out.

59:07 Caller Yeah, I did. That's what I finally did. Cause you kept locking the door on me.

59:11 David Alan Grier But here's the deal. You've got a traumatic history with your dad. You've got some assault. Naturally enough, when you get assaulted at your age, you'll have sort of a freeze response. But here's the- Did you get frozen stiff?

59:21 Caller I kind of didn't know what to do.

59:23 David Alan Grier Yeah, you get frozen stiff. You get petrified, as my kids say. And that's sort of indoctrinated-

59:28 Adam Petrified means boner?

59:29 David Alan Grier It's indoctrinated, and the guy's petrified too. Indoctrinated into your system from the traumatizing experience with your dad and the uncle, or his friend, all that stuff. But the fact is, yes, this guy was too aggressive. Yes, it was inappropriate. It wasn't really a rape.

59:44 Adam He thought he was making a move.

59:45 Drew Yeah, but she fought him off.

59:46 David Alan Grier Yeah, he fought him. The point is, it's irrelevant. It just shows how affected she is by any sexual aggression, any relationship, how she freezes in the response, can't come to her own defense. And you're generally sort of freaked out. And of course you are with what you've been through. It's time to get a little help with this. Because as you say, it's going to affect your relationships for sure.

1:00:05 Adam And they're going down in your score book is two sexual assaults.

1:00:11 David Alan Grier Well, but look, first of all, she's gonna pick guys who are assaulting.

1:00:13 Adam I know all the things that you're saying.

1:00:16 Drew She wasn't dating him.

1:00:17 Adam I'm just saying, don't count these as two rapes. You had the retarded adult cousin.

1:00:23 David Alan Grier He called unwanted sexual contacts.

1:00:27 Adam Both of them. Yeah. All right. Well, listen, sweetie. The biggest problem you got is that alcoholic dad and the horrible childhood you've had.

1:00:40 David Alan Grier Yeah.

1:00:40 Adam So. Yes.

1:00:44 David Alan Grier If you don't do something about it, yes.

1:00:45 Adam Well, I knew you're depressed now. I can hear it in your voice.

1:00:48 David Alan Grier Yeah.

1:00:49 Adam How about- You got a therapist? Good.

1:00:53 David Alan Grier It'll be fine. Just keep going. Do some work.

1:00:55 Adam Just keep going and get your grades good and go far away to college.

1:00:59 David Alan Grier All right?

1:01:01 Adam Possibly even, where'd you go?

1:01:04 Drew I don't know, but I tell you what would help you if you came to Irvine to see some comedy.

1:01:07 David Alan Grier Or to Michigan, then Yale.

1:01:08 Adam Well, when there's gonna be comedy, there you call it.

1:01:11 David Alan Grier Right. Michigan, then Yale.

1:01:12 Adam Yes, I did. Michigan and then Yale, everybody.

1:01:15 David Alan Grier Studied musical comedy, yeah, that's right.

1:01:17 Drew I didn't study musical comedy, dance.

1:01:20 Caller I did classical makeup. Okay, first I studied acting, then I studied dancing. Then I studied acting, dancing, and performing.

1:01:34 I can do that, I can do that.

1:01:37 Adam Drew did like Fiddler on the Roof.

1:01:39 Drew Oh my God, Drew did opera.

1:01:41 Adam Drew did opera.

1:01:42 Caller There's a lot of performing in this room.

1:01:44 David Alan Grier Go hit some opera notes, Drew.

1:01:50 Caller Oh, stinky door.

1:01:52 David Alan Grier There's a duet in our future, Dave.

1:01:54 Caller Smell of my fingers. I like it.

1:02:11 David Alan Grier You're missing the best part.

1:02:29 Caller Thank you, doctor. Thank you, Drew Pinsky.

1:02:33 Drew We've got your resume, we'll let you know.

1:02:35 Thank God for Dr. Drew.

1:02:36 David Alan Grier Next, next. Mike? Next.

1:02:40 Adam You're 25.

1:02:41 David Alan Grier Part of Iago, next.

1:02:43 Adam Yeah.

1:02:44 David Alan Grier How's it going?

1:02:46 Adam What's happening?

1:02:47 Caller Not too much. When I say I love you guys, your show is really cool.

1:02:50 Adam Thanks.

1:02:50 Caller Thank you. Yeah, I just had a question.

1:02:52 David Alan Grier That was actually on Ben Stein's show. What's up, Mike?

1:02:59 Caller Oh, no, I was just wondering. I'm noticing I'm losing like some hair, and I was told that like it's from DHT, and if you masturbate, supposedly that triggers it, and you lose your hair faster.

1:03:12 Adam Hold on, I'm going to prove this guy right now.

1:03:15 David Alan Grier Okay, Adam's been masturbating like a fiend for how many years?

1:03:19 Adam Forty-four.

1:03:20 David Alan Grier Forty-four years. His hairline, his eyebrows and his hairline meet.

1:03:27 Adam Basically, my eyebrows are trying to connect to my scalp and my ass is trying to connect to the back of my neck. We're going to drive the Golden Polycol in the small of my back in just a couple of months. You guys are going to be there for the ceremony.

1:03:40 David Alan Grier All the dignitaries will be there.

1:03:42 Adam The brown carpet will be rolled out.

1:03:44 David Alan Grier I can see a ton of deniers now with us all licking arms.

1:03:48 Adam We did it! This guy couldn't, right?

1:03:55 David Alan Grier No, listen, Mike, you're listening to commercials. Give me a break. The fact is, DHC just means dihydrotestosterone. So, yes, testosterone is associated with hair loss in the genetically prone individual. Not in the not genetically prone individual. If you want to lower your testosterone levels, you might affect hair loss.

1:04:14 Drew Hey, Dr. Drew, can I ask a quick question? Is talking down to someone lowered their testosterone level?

1:04:20 Caller Talk to him like he's a human being, Mr. Know-it-all smarty pants. Dag, I wish I could smack you with one of those medical books.

1:04:30 Adam This is a human being, Dr. Drew.

1:04:34 Drew You know, it's like God talking from his podium.

1:04:37 Caller Why don't you start every sentence with you? Idiot!

1:04:40 David Alan Grier David, did your dad strike you when you were growing up?

1:04:43 Caller Yeah, only with words.

1:04:44 David Alan Grier Yeah, it sounds like it made you feel less damn.

1:04:47 Drew I don't know, one time I was like, hey dad, how do you define insanity? He goes, oh, what kind of a stupid question is that? I was like, oh man, I was like, oh boy. I guess that crazy, that was kind of a crazy question. I'd say.

1:05:05 David Alan Grier Kind of an abusive response, I'd say.

1:05:08 Adam No physical abuse, though.

1:05:09 David Alan Grier Oh, not much.

1:05:09 Drew No, no, no physical abuse.

1:05:12 Caller The mom didn't freak on you?

1:05:14 Drew No, she wouldn't.

1:05:15 David Alan Grier Oh, please. Except when he was bad.

1:05:17 Drew Yeah, my mother would torture me with her words like, son, I wish you wouldn't do that. It takes so much, it's so much easier to be nice than to be evil and mean.

1:05:29 David Alan Grier Are you breaking the bells of Bob right then?

1:05:41 Drew Step away.

1:05:42 David Alan Grier No, I didn't.

1:05:42 Adam My mother is a saint. Are your parents still together? I came here if your dad cut out.

1:05:46 Caller What are you nuts?

1:05:47 Drew My father was 40, he bought a water bed and moved to San Francisco.

1:05:51 Adam Smart.

1:05:51 Caller He must call it your dad.

1:05:54 Adam My dad, you know, I think the bond is my dad actually used to pick when he moved out. He had a big fro.

1:06:00 David Alan Grier You got the idea from David's dad.

1:06:01 Caller He had a Brady Bunch afro.

1:06:03 Adam My dad, well, here's the whole thing. When my parents got divorced, let me tell you a bad time to get divorced, 1976, because my dad had been dressing the same since the 50s and then it was 1976 and all of a sudden he needed some new threads and he got the pants that laced up in the front and laced up in the back. You know when the dude wears the bell bottoms that lace up in the back? He looked like the lead guy from the band Boston and a huge fro. It's not quite a Jew fro because he's Italian, but it was Jew enough. And the big beard and wore clear glasses. You know he looked like Angel from the Rockford file. Beard, he's wearing an Afghan shirt and he's making the scene.

1:06:51 Caller Oh my God, like Tommy Chong or something.

1:06:56 Adam Because he's got a crew of chicks at work now. What did he do? Well, he's basically a school teacher, sort of substitute school teacher. During this period, he was working at a place where troubled kids over in Pasadena.

1:07:11 Drew I can help you, Betty.

1:07:13 Caller Had to pick with the fist handle.

1:07:19 Adam Oh, yeah. Making the scene. And plants.

1:07:22 Drew Oh my God.

1:07:23 Adam Got some plants, too. You know, my dad was so cheap, he probably got all, he got all the crap at like Sears, you know, so it was like the tough skin version of the slick stuff. A disaster. What's that?

1:07:36 Caller Nogahide boots.

1:07:37 Adam Oh, the white, white Nogahide platform shoes, the bell bottoms laced up front and back. The Afghan shirt and the huge fro. It's great luck. With the six inch fro and the six inch plaits, got them up to about five, eight and a half, by the way.

1:07:56 Drew Oh, God, I remember I took my dad to a party when I first moved to LA and I remember him saying to some girl, what time's the orgy start?

1:08:09 Caller You are out!

1:08:10 Caller Kick this player out!

1:08:11 Caller Escort him back to the locker room!

1:08:14 Drew Oh, I was mortified. And he was hitting on this girl the whole night.

1:08:18 Caller Really?

1:08:19 Drew Yeah, well, I set him up for this one. Finally, I leaned over right when we were about to go, I go, Dad, you know she's a lesbian. And he's like... I was like, yeah, right, whatever. God has a plan.

1:08:32 Caller Dr. Drew, I'm bleeding.

1:08:33 Drew Yeah, because I bit my finger.

1:08:36 David Alan Grier I saw that.

1:08:38 Adam You know what's weird?

1:08:51 Drew No, no, I don't want to know.

1:08:53 Adam Do a little decorating action. It's like, yeah, that's your dad. He's not supposed to know. You really shouldn't be talking to him. And when you do, you should just be looking down the whole time.

1:09:02 Drew My brother knew stuff about my dad, but I never want to know.

1:09:05 Adam Who the hell needs to know any of that?

1:09:07 Caller You know Mrs. McAfry right around the corner?

1:09:10 Caller Oh boy, she was a wild one. She was.

1:09:14 David Alan Grier Your brother, your dad today?

1:09:17 Drew Yeah, you tell my brother. I wouldn't want to know. I couldn't handle it.

1:09:20 Caller I was the baby, I was the little baby.

1:09:24 Adam I had a grandma that shared too much, by the way.

1:09:27 Caller I like oral sex, Adam. Give me a hug.

1:09:31 David Alan Grier Oh, no, she wanted to know some details about rim jobs.

1:09:35 Adam Yeah, I want to know what a rim job was.

1:09:39 David Alan Grier At dinner table.

1:09:39 Caller That is when you take your car to the mechanic, they put it up, up in there.

1:09:45 Caller Take the tire off the rim.

1:09:47 Adam It's great. Yeah, what's a rim job?

1:09:50 Drew Did she have any idea what she was talking about?

1:09:52 Caller Yeah, she did.

1:09:53 Adam Oh, she did. Yeah. And then the one serious conversation she had with me.

1:09:58 David Alan Grier Clitoris?

1:09:59 Adam Well, arguing that it's not clitoris. It's clitoris. It's not clitoris.

1:10:03 David Alan Grier Because Mavs Mabley said it was clitoris.

1:10:05 Adam That was a nice argument. You know how we got the answer to that? Ah! We went over and looked at dead grandpa's large print, oversized dictionary to settle the argument. That was a nice...

1:10:24 Drew That was the last night Adam saw his family. It was like, I'm never coming home.

1:10:28 Adam Oh no, it went on for a while. Well, she once gave me a stern warning about... What is the auto-erotic asphyxiation? She's like, listen, I know you beat off plenty.

1:10:46 Caller Is this on your mother or your father's side?

1:10:48 Adam Mom's side. I want to find you hanging from the shower curtain.

1:10:51 David Alan Grier This one is younger too. She was like 84.

1:10:53 Adam I don't have to cut down another grandchild. She is a frisky little filly, that one is. I'll tell you one of her greatest all-time lines. She's not listening. She was followed up. My grandfather died. It was a week after my grandfather died. They had been together for 50 years. She was distraught. She was crying. She said, everywhere I go, I see him. Something reminds me of him. I go into the den. I see his books. I open the closet. I see his bathrobe hanging there. I open the medicine cabinet. I see the vaginal loom. I swear she said that.

1:11:29 Caller I was like, Adam took his turkey and just went right on the porch and started eating.

1:11:37 Drew It's just life, Adam. Open up. You know what? I think there's some babies that need some healing.

1:11:43 Adam We got to take a break. Next caller! No, we got to take a break. Betty, there's no Betty under 85. Betty 17. Look, we got to take a break. David Alan Grier, DAG, my main man in studio today. Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Irvine Improv. Drew, shut your hole. We're going to take a quick break. We'll be right back after this.

1:12:03 Caller Hello, this is your radio.

1:12:23 Adam Hey, everybody, it's Loveline.

1:12:27 Caller My main man, David Alan Grier.

1:12:32 Adam It's the Dear, Dear Friend. Hey. And it's great to have you back, Dave.

1:12:41 David Alan Grier Irvine.

1:12:41 Adam I hear all sorts of great stuff about your comedy routine. He's gonna be performing his comedy routine out in the beautiful city of Irvine. Always go back there. Improv, and he'll be doing that Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday. That's right. Now, if you're going five days, I might get out there.

1:13:00 Caller But four is just too small a winter.

1:13:03 Drew I did come all the way out there to little Mr. Jimmy's massive beach house. It's more like a beach factory, isn't it?

1:13:12 David Alan Grier A beach hangar.

1:13:13 Drew Yeah.

1:13:13 Adam Yeah, we had a little birthday party for me over at Jimmy's beach place.

1:13:18 Drew And who was out there?

1:13:20 David Alan Grier Did you stay till the karaoke began?

1:13:23 Drew That's when I always left, because Adam was feeling it and he was just about to play.

1:13:27 David Alan Grier Jimmy was feeling it.

1:13:28 Drew Oh, God bless Jimmy. They give me court side seats to the Lakers. I'm supposed to go five minutes to do a bit. They call me up there in the booth and they're like, we need you here for the rest of the game. I'm like, no, you don't. You really don't.

1:13:41 David Alan Grier Oh yeah, they did ABC?

1:13:43 Adam Dag did a nice bit on Jimmy Kimmel Live about three days ago from the form, well, I was going to say the form, the Staples Center, actually.

1:13:52 Drew That's when we still believed.

1:13:53 Adam But there was a little controversy. I heard her talk about a star attitude when the writers got back. Oh no, oh no.

1:14:01 Drew No, no, they, listen, it was five minutes and they're like, okay, we're going to need you here. We're going to be doing runners. I'm like, no, you're not.

1:14:07 Adam He wouldn't take his hat off. He had his gobs attitude.

1:14:10 Drew Absolutely. And it was funny and it worked. Okay. I didn't say one of their stupid lines.

1:14:15 Adam It didn't say, God forbid he say someone's stupid line other than his own stupid lines.

1:14:19 David Alan Grier Yeah, but they worked.

1:14:21 Drew They worked.

1:14:22 David Alan Grier Same guy.

1:14:22 Adam Yeah, separated at birth.

1:14:24 Drew Come on, come on, Adam knows. If Adam was there, he could have talked me down. The rest of those guys, there's never any communication and it all worked out and everything was fine.

1:14:32 Adam They came back and they're like, yeah, your buddy Dag had a star attitude. Star my ass.

1:14:37 Caller Pulling a little power trip.

1:14:39 Adam And I was like, yeah, okay. Yeah, I could see that.

1:14:43 Drew Wow, star my ass. I was like, you give me quartside seeds. Why are you bringing me here for half the game?

1:14:47 Adam I always just do my same answer, which is he's nice to me.

1:14:51 Drew Come on, I've done this show a million times.

1:14:53 Adam No, he's good people. Let's get a hand in this. Gentlemen, gentlemen, I use that term loosely too. Gentlemen, the helmet, not a chair, not a chair. Bobby, Bobby, you're 18. We're gonna take some questions because Dag wants to help the kiddies.

1:15:14 Drew I do.

1:15:15 Adam What's up, Bobby?

1:15:17 David Alan Grier Yeah.

1:15:17 Adam Here we go.

1:15:19 David Alan Grier Hello, Bobby.

1:15:20 Caller I just had a question about, I got like a sloppy seconds hand job.

1:15:23 David Alan Grier Sloppy seconds, what does that mean?

1:15:26 Caller Exactly. After another dude?

1:15:28 David Alan Grier You mean she went from one to another? You know, I've been interested, anxious, in fact, to introduce Dag to Chief Thundercloud. And people help out with-

1:15:39 Drew I thought you were going to say these sloppy seconds. That's not a part of my fantasy.

1:15:44 David Alan Grier No, Chief Thundercloud is a consultant I call him once in a while.

1:15:47 Drew Is he a Native American consultant?

1:15:48 David Alan Grier Native American gynecologist.

1:15:49 Drew I like him.

1:15:50 David Alan Grier Shaman.

1:15:50 Drew Yeah.

1:15:51 David Alan Grier He's very good. And he's good with this kind of thing.

1:15:54 Adam Well, actually he's probably more of a gynecologist.

1:15:57 David Alan Grier Oh, so you want to go to some of his there?

1:15:58 Adam Yeah.

1:15:59 David Alan Grier Well, guys, oh, Brenda. Okay, Brenda.

1:16:00 Adam Oh, Brenda will be good.

1:16:02 David Alan Grier So Bob, don't worry about me.

1:16:04 Adam Was there, was some of the other lads' essence on her hand?

1:16:09 Caller Issue.

1:16:09 No, I'm not sure.

1:16:10 Caller I just wonder, like, is it possible to get A's if the first guy had it?

1:16:14 David Alan Grier No, no, no. Have you heard about that? I think about it.

1:16:16 Drew This was a girl who was giving the hand jobs.

1:16:18 Caller Liar, liar whore, liar whore, and you know it.

1:16:21 Adam Well, here's the thing. Yeah, he's full of crap. But look, if you want the handy, and especially if you're getting a simultaneous handy, you've got to be sitting on her good side. That's the lesson I learned. You know what I'm saying? You don't-

1:16:32 Drew Or perhaps, handy wipes.

1:16:34 Caller Yeah, whatever.

1:16:36 Adam You don't want the bad hand. You want to speak to Brianna?

1:16:38 Caller Yeah.

1:16:39 David Alan Grier Brianna.

1:16:40 Adam I thought we were speaking to you.

1:16:41 David Alan Grier No, no, Brianna's better.

1:16:42 Adam Brenda, okay, Brianna. Or Brianna. Which one is it, Brianna?

1:16:45 David Alan Grier Or Brianna?

1:16:46 Drew It's Brianninda.

1:16:47 It's whatever you guys want.

1:16:49 Adam Yeah. What's up? That's what I like.

1:16:53 Are you ready for my question? Okay. First off, I think I need to tell you guys, I think you guys are way too like, you think all your listeners are really retarded. And I think there's a lot of smart listeners out there.

1:17:08 Adam There are, there's smart listeners, but no smart callers.

1:17:14 She'd demerit on that one, aren't you?

1:17:17 David Alan Grier Hey, oh yeah, I guess so.

1:17:19 Caller Oh, you already knew, okay.

1:17:21 But I just wanted to, okay, there's been, I've had sex with 13 people now. Ooh.

1:17:30 Adam No, no, that's all right. It's 19.

1:17:33 Yeah, I lost my virginity when I was 17.

1:17:36 Adam All right.

1:17:37 That's in two years. And only two of those were like willing, like sober sexual choices. And the rest of them were like, I was drunk. And a couple of them, I don't even remember at all.

1:17:53 David Alan Grier Like, I know. Do you think Chief Thunder Clark can help, Rihanna?

1:17:56 Adam All right, all right. So he also does, he does gynecology.

1:18:02 Drew Well, wait a minute, what's the question?

1:18:04 Adam Yeah, what is the question for the chief?

1:18:06 I haven't really been listening to the show. Who's the guest side?

1:18:08 Adam David Alan Grier.

1:18:10 Drew Dagaroni, baby, it's David Alan Grier, here to help you, doll. I think you're fabulous. You're wonderful and very intelligent.

1:18:19 Caller The question is, like, I'm wondering if these situations would be considered rape or not. And it's not, it's not, I don't want to do anything about it. Like, they're a long time ago, and I feel like they're my fault. And nothing has been, you know, violent. But at the same time, I mean, I don't even remember.

1:18:36 Drew What situations? You said the ones where you don't remember? Okay, so if you don't remember, how do you know you had sex? These are questions the police would ask you.

1:18:45 Adam That's right.

1:18:46 Drew They would say, here, well, let's go through it. Let's go through it. They'd say, tell me what happened.

1:18:50 Caller What did I tell you?

1:18:51 Drew Yeah, go ahead, tell me what happened.

1:18:53 Caller Okay, this is more than one different time, but I'll give you time number one.

1:18:56 Drew We're gonna say time number one. Tell me what happened. Hold on.

1:18:58 Adam Leave her alone.

1:19:00 Drew Tell me what happened.

1:19:01 Caller Yeah, are you like being mean to me?

1:19:03 Drew No, no, no, I'm asking you. Tell me what happened. I'm absolutely, this is the police. They're gonna ask you this. If you went to them, they say, tell me what happened. You gotta tell them. So what happened on this first one time?

1:19:14 Caller Okay, I'm saying time number one, go with all the college friends, go to Mexico, get drunk, pay like $6 and drink all night, wake up the next morning, like all of this stuff happened. All the girls are mad at me because I was lost forever all night and they couldn't find me. I was way drunk and they barely got me back across the border.

1:19:35 Drew Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. You have to tell me exactly, you woke up, what happened?

1:19:41 Caller What do you remember happening?

1:19:43 Caller From the night before?

1:19:45 David Alan Grier Yes.

1:19:45 Adam All right, hold on a second.

1:19:47 Drew But that's what they're gonna ask?

1:19:48 David Alan Grier No, here's the deal, it first of all happened in Mexico, so I don't know what that implies.

1:19:51 Caller No, forget that, but they're gonna say, if you can't remember to tell them what happened.

1:19:56 David Alan Grier In California, it is rape if you have sex with an intoxicated woman, period.

1:20:00 Caller But wait a minute, Dr. Drew.

1:20:01 David Alan Grier That's true, that's a law, I didn't make the law.

1:20:02 Drew Dr. Drew, you're not listening. She comes and says, I'm just saying, tell me what happened.

1:20:11 Caller How does she even know she had sex?

1:20:12 David Alan Grier She says, I got drunk and woke up with semen, evidence of semen, I don't remember what happened, it doesn't matter that was rape.

1:20:20 Drew What was rape, that semen was placed on her?

1:20:22 David Alan Grier If you have a sexual contact with an intoxicated woman.

1:20:26 Drew But how does she know she can't, she didn't even get to the point. And say, what happened?

1:20:34 Caller Intoxication.

1:20:35 Drew I saw footage of this and the police woman sent the chick home.

1:20:39 David Alan Grier It depends on the state. In California, if they've been using alcohol, they can't render consent and therefore that's rape.

1:20:46 Drew But this sounds like she doesn't even know who was there.

1:20:49 David Alan Grier She's an alcoholic and a severe one. And this is her disease in evolution.

1:20:53 Drew You know what, you have a problem, it's called buttenskius.

1:20:56 Adam That's right.

1:20:56 Drew Buttenskiitis. Now I'm trying to talk to this woman and I don't know, maybe her friends were mad because they knew the guys that were there, maybe they didn't.

1:21:04 Adam Well, here's my question. So far, you just told us you got drunk and wandered around.

1:21:09 Caller And her friends were mad at her, that's what I'm trying to say.

1:21:12 Adam David's part about the sex.

1:21:13 Caller That's what they told me because I don't remember most of it.

1:21:16 Drew All right, go.

1:21:17 Caller And they told me that they couldn't find me for a long time. And I like, while they're telling me this, I'm trying to remember in my own head, like what happened, the things that I remember and where like my memory leaves and I'm just, it's like a blur. And I vaguely remember like walking around outside the club. I vaguely remember like being in a, like a car, like a parking garage. And I vaguely remember being like in the back seat with a guy and it's like pretty good. I like, to be honest, I remember.

1:21:46 Adam How do you know you had sex?

1:21:48 Caller What?

1:21:49 Adam How do you know you had sex?

1:21:50 Caller I don't know, but I just remember like him saying, can I put it in you? And I don't remember anything else.

1:21:57 Adam He was talking about a piñata. What?

1:22:00 Drew What did, no, so what is your question? Are you saying, what should you do about this?

1:22:04 Caller No, I'm not asking that. I was just wondering if like, is that considered rape? Like, there's nothing I'm going to do about it now.

1:22:11 Adam Listen, okay. I don't know. In the eyes of the law, everything's rape. Everything's rape. But-

1:22:17 Drew Well, you're raping me now, Adam.

1:22:18 Adam As you know, no, actually, you'll know when I'm raping you, Dave. You'll know.

1:22:22 Drew That's what he said before. Yeah, that's what you said to Layman Brewster. We all saw what happened there.

1:22:28 Caller Oh, oh, yeah, okay, now, okay. I'm gonna know when you rap on, yeah, yeah, yeah.

1:22:39 Caller No, Layman, no.

1:22:56 Drew Adam, Adam, where have you been? All right, so listen, in California, that's rape.

1:23:02 Adam Brianna is out of control with her alcohol.

1:23:05 David Alan Grier She's blacking out early like that as part of alcoholism. The consequence part of alcoholism, the denial as part of alcoholism, she got it all. Right. And it's early in evolution.

1:23:14 Drew What did she deny?

1:23:16 David Alan Grier Just denying that it's an issue. And so the point is she needs to really start to look at this as alcoholism in evolution. There will be more consequences as the time goes along. You're gonna have to do something about this. Yes, I believe these are unlawful sexual contacts of various kinds in California.

1:23:33 Drew But although he did ask, you know.

1:23:35 David Alan Grier Yeah.

1:23:35 Drew Drew, it's really intoxication, not just...

1:23:38 David Alan Grier Yeah, the laws here are really stringent. Really stringent. That's my game, I'm screwed. No, I don't know. I know it is. I don't know how much of it is actually prosecuted, but there are laws like that out there. I remember when you used to talk about this.

1:23:47 Drew Well, but what I'm saying was actually on a tape, it was like a police tape. This young woman came in with her mother. She knew the two guys. They had all gotten drunk.

1:23:55 Caller She said, same deal.

1:23:56 Drew They went back to her house. She doesn't remember much of that. She woke up. There were semen somewhere. She feels like she had sex with one of them. They said it was consensual. And this police woman said, tell me what happened. She goes, I think I had sex. And she goes, all right, I'm going to read back what you just said. Right now, you don't have a case. You said you went drinking. You said you came home. There are friends of yours. You don't remember what happened. You woke up.

1:24:22 Adam Right.

1:24:23 Drew Okay. So I can't, there is nothing here.

1:24:26 David Alan Grier The reality is, the reality is the poor guy has no idea whether they're intoxicated or not. As far as he's concerned, it's consensual. It's a hard, difficult thing.

1:24:34 Drew Have you ever been around, let me ask you this. Have you ever been around someone who, you know, was drinking the next day, they clearly had blacked out at some point in that night. But yet when you were with that person, You couldn't tell. Exactly.

1:24:49 David Alan Grier Of course not. That's what a blackout is. They're totally normal.

1:24:51 Adam And why do we have to call it blackout, Drew? Don't you think?

1:24:56 Drew I laid that trap for Hunky Man, as I like to call Dr. Drew right here.

1:25:00 Caller And he stepped all up in it, man.

1:25:02 Drew You didn't call it a brown out.

1:25:05 Caller You didn't call it a white out. No, you called it a blackout.

1:25:10 Drew Oh well, you know, we know.

1:25:12 Adam You could call it a of color out or something like that.

1:25:14 Drew It's funny.

1:25:14 Caller He didn't write a book about that.

1:25:15 Drew Me and My Racist Self, Me and My Hatred, Me and My Hatred. You know, he didn't write nothing like that.

1:25:20 Adam He does not like, he does not like the black man.

1:25:22 Drew Cracking up, cracking up, you know.

1:25:24 Adam Yeah, crack her out. Crack out. We got to take a little break here.

1:25:28 Drew You didn't talk about how it's, how difficult it is to treat obese, ugly, afflicted women. No, it's always hot, hot young stripper girls who addicted to drugs, you know, and him having to control them. I know you, Dr. Drew.

1:25:42 Adam David's right. I know you, Dr. Drew.

1:25:44 Drew And in the team meetings, oh, I'll take the hot one.

1:25:46 Caller I got it. Get that to Drew. Get that one to Drew.

1:25:48 David Alan Grier I haven't read the book yet. My friend, my friend, Adam.

1:25:52 Drew We will, Because I'm a true friend.

1:25:53 Adam We'll take ourselves a little break. David Alan Grier in Studio Night. We'll be right back.

1:25:58 Drew Putting it down.

1:25:58 Adam After this.

1:25:59 Drew Loveline.

1:26:02 Adam You know, Drew, smelling good is more than a smell.

1:26:31 Caller Loveline with Dr. Drew.

1:26:33 Drew Adam is putting the love down too.

1:26:35 Caller Adam and Drew, Dr. Drew.

1:26:37 Caller Shut up!

1:26:41 Adam He does it to me every night.

1:26:44 Drew Oh, Adam, what fun we've had over the years.

1:26:48 David Alan Grier I really want Dag to meet Chief Thunderclap. Let's take a call with him.

1:26:52 Adam I like Brenda. You're going to translate?

1:26:55 David Alan Grier I'll translate. He speaks fluent Choctaw and it's hard to understand.

1:27:00 Drew I'm part of American myself.

1:27:02 David Alan Grier Oh, you may be able to help translate.

1:27:03 Caller Well, I don't know. We'll see.

1:27:05 David Alan Grier So here's Brenda, 17. Brenda? Chief Thunderclap is here. He's greeting you. I'm fine. It's a pleasure to speak to you this evening. How are you guys doing? How are you?

1:27:22 Oh, wow. I'm nervous.

1:27:26 David Alan Grier How can you be nervous talking to guys like us?

1:27:30 Okay. Like, I like this guy and I've liked him for like four years. And we were kind of like hanging out and stuff. And I've told him a couple of times how I felt.

1:27:53 David Alan Grier He needs warm up. Milk, not white. He told me to shut up, Chris. He told me to shut up, Chris. And so here goes.

1:28:10 Drew Let's. Focus in. We're trying to save some babies.

1:28:12 David Alan Grier Thank you. You know what that means. You know what that means, Chris.

1:28:14 Drew Can I ask some questions? Can I ask some questions?

1:28:17 David Alan Grier Hang on a second. What are you calling him?

1:28:19 Caller Did he just use the n-word?

1:28:22 Drew It was the neke word.

1:28:23 David Alan Grier In the translation, I think it would be closer to colored. Oh, he's giving you a blessing.

1:28:36 Drew He said, the dark cloud has descended upon me.

1:28:40 Caller He's lifting.

1:28:58 Drew Let me ask this question. This girl, how old are you, you're 17. Okay. The guy you like is 16. All right. Now tell me exactly. You said that you've liked him for four years. Exactly. What did you tell him when you said, when you expressed your feelings? Okay. I'm that guy. Hey, hey, what's going on? Did you have something you want to tell me?

1:29:21 Caller I told him that I was in love with him.

1:29:26 Drew That's how you started it?

1:29:27 David Alan Grier Oh, chiefs impressed.

1:29:29 Caller Are you being serious? You said what?

1:29:33 Drew You said you were in love with him and what else?

1:29:35 Caller And I wrote him like some poems.

1:29:39 Adam I didn't get you, didn't I? Why?

1:29:43 David Alan Grier Poetry is cute, but... He thinks that the guy probably masturbated to your poetry, I guess.

1:29:59 Adam Yeah, of course.

1:30:00 Caller Chief, we're going to put you on waivers.

1:30:02 Drew But wait a minute, here's what I'm going to tell you. A 16-year-old guy, even though you were trying to tell him exactly how you felt, that is a little too strong. Well, hang on, Chief, let's take it to the Chief.

1:30:15 David Alan Grier Give me a theory about friends. Okay, that's so fast, it's hard for you to translate. People your age oftentimes, they're friends because somebody's attracted to somebody.

1:30:31 Drew Wait a minute, Drew, don't... The Chief said people are friends because they like to fish for trout and hunt for beaver.

1:30:41 Caller That is what the man said.

1:30:43 Drew Now, don't mess with his words.

1:30:47 Caller No, no, no, what?

1:30:48 David Alan Grier Hang on a second.

1:30:52 Drew More coffee. Okay, now, what is your question?

1:31:00 David Alan Grier So, Brenda, so as I was... I'm going to repeat what the Chief said a second ago, which is that at your age oftentimes when a male and a female become friends, it's because somebody's attracted to somebody and somebody's not. Yeah, and so you were probably originally attracted to him, and he sort of didn't really reciprocate. Yeah, Chief says. And now you're sort of, Chief, you're going to...

1:31:37 Drew I heard. No, he just said, why hunt deer when you can hunt for moose?

1:31:40 David Alan Grier Maze and rain.

1:31:42 Drew Maze, corn.

1:31:43 David Alan Grier But the deal is that now you're putting all your cards on the table, letting him know that you really are attracted to him, and now he's freaked out because he really just wants to be your friend. If he were to be more than a friend, he would have made a move a long time ago.

1:31:57 Drew No, but I mean, you say, I love you, and you write him poems. That's heavy.

1:32:00 David Alan Grier No, but he's a friend, and he thought he just had a friendship here, and she the whole time was harboring this for him, and now showed her cards.

1:32:07 Drew I think you waited too long. In the future, even if you feel that, you know what I'd like to do, you know what I'd like to do? I'd like to talk to the young woman. Maybe even if you feel that, maybe you want to bring it back a little bit and say, hey, I really like you, maybe we can change this and go out together instead of hitting him with all of it. And I know that if you like someone for four years and you finally get up to courage, you're like, I'm just going for it.

1:32:32 David Alan Grier But you know how guys are, they're either in or they're out.

1:32:36 Adam I heard that.

1:32:36 Caller I heard that. I heard that.

1:32:38 Caller I'll put the gloves on, baby.

1:32:39 Drew We're going some rounds.

1:32:41 Adam Chief, we're going to take ourselves a little break.

1:32:43 Drew The one thing I love about Adam, he just dropped the character and he's right back to the old Adam.

1:32:46 Caller All right.

1:32:47 Drew We're going to take a little break and come back with a 10 and 10. In about 10 more minutes, the Chief has the leaves out.

1:32:54 Caller We'll be back after this.

1:33:00 Caller All right, guys.

1:33:01 Caller Here's the deal. Looking to hook up? Call the Dateline. Sick of wasting time with the wrong person?

1:33:05 Adam Call the Dateline.

1:33:08 Caller Call the Dateline. One, eight, seven, seven, eight, eight, nine, date.

1:33:28 Adam I want to thank my main man, David Alan Grier.

1:33:31 Drew Kinder, gentler, Dagaroni. You know, I'm still harping on my Laker laws. Dr. Drew.

1:33:37 Adam Dagaroni.

1:33:38 Drew As always, lovely seeing you. Adam, we need to get in the gym, man. That's right, that's right. Lovely, I just saw the, is it Layman, Wayman, Dayman? What's dude's name?

1:33:47 Adam Layman Brewster.

1:33:48 Drew Layman Brewster Tapes. Fabulous, Adam acquitted himself quite well.

1:33:51 Adam Thank you, brother man.

1:33:52 Drew Get in the gym, brother.

1:33:53 Adam David Alan Grier. Improv, Irvine Improv. Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday. So until next time, it's Adam Carolla for Dr. Drew saying, Mahalo.

1:34:03 Caller Babies!

1:34:12 Caller This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors or this station. The producer for Loveline is Annie Gold. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Wednesday, June 16, 2004