Episode 1000618561455

1:03 Voiceover It is Loveline 1-800-Love-191.

1:07 Stryker Thank you.

1:08 Adam In for Adam Carolla, who's still in Italy. I guess he's gonna go to Italy for just two days, Dr. Drew.

1:13 Stryker No, I guess not.

1:13 Adam How long is he going for?

1:15 Stryker He'll be back, I think Sunday, so probably back Sunday morning.

1:18 Adam That's still not that long of a trip to Italy. Kimmel pay for the trip for him?

1:22 Stryker I don't think so.

1:23 Adam ABC cover?

1:24 Stryker No, no, no, no. They used to do that at the Man Show. They used to go on trips to various places and get covered.

1:30 Adam The Caribbean with all the girls. With all the Bouncy Bouncy's.

1:33 Yes.

1:34 Adam Are you all right? What's the matter?

1:35 You all choked up?

1:36 Stryker Yeah, I was thinking about those wild trips.

1:38 Adam What, you went on them?

1:39 Stryker No, I didn't go there. Are you kidding?

1:41 No, you didn't.

1:42 Adam Stryker, would you be allowed to go on a trip with the girls from the Man Show?

1:45 Stryker I would not be allowed, nor would be appropriate for me to know what I want to do.

1:49 Adam How about going to the Playboy Mansion for a big party? Would you go alone?

1:52 Stryker I have, but it doesn't really...

1:57 Adam Doesn't do anything for you.

1:58 Stryker It does, but it doesn't have the allure.

1:59 Adam But it's intriguing.

2:00 Stryker It's intriguing, it has no allure for me. It really doesn't.

2:03 Adam What about the grotto?

2:03 Stryker To me, it's like looking at a movie set or something.

2:06 Adam If Miss February of 1979 said, Drew Pinsky, I went to USC with you.

2:10 Come to the grotto.

2:12 Adam I want to show you my breasts.

2:13 Stryker No, it's interesting, no allure, zero. Zero. I appreciate it, no allure.

2:18 Adam You could be swimming in Jack Nicholson's semen.

2:20 Stryker I don't want to think about yes. I don't want to think about kind of oil sick. I mean, going through.

2:25 Adam Or what's that guy's name? James Kahn, wasn't he one of the big ones back in the day?

2:28 Stryker Yes.

2:28 Adam How come, is it still like, I've been there, but I don't know if it's, I've actually jumped in that pool.

2:31 Stryker It's really, it's like I've been there. It's like a movie set.

2:33 Stryker It is.

2:34 Stryker Right, like there's a zoo and that.

2:35 Adam They got monkeys, they got rabbits. They got all that stuff. It is, it's after 10 o'clock and homeboy Andy, yeah.

2:41 Stryker Oh, look who's here.

2:44 Adam Speaking of the devil.

2:45 I just wanted to see the wet pink stick.

2:48 Stryker Andy.

2:49 Adam Yellow one, you got to use the yellow one.

2:51 Stryker Yeah, can you move over a little closer to us?

2:52 Drew You don't want to be this close to me. Well, the chair was in front of that one.

2:55 Stryker Oh, I'm sorry.

2:56 Drew Um, my, my, I was outside, waiting outside the gate.

3:00 Adam Just sit, yeah, we have no one out there.

3:02 Drew And I completely believe it.

3:03 Stryker Hello, man.

3:04 Adam Good to see you, Andy.

3:05 Drew No one was out there. I didn't shower today, but that doesn't matter because we're on the radio.

3:09 Yes.

3:09 Drew Are we on right now?

3:10 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

3:11 It doesn't mean we're not going to smell you, huh?

3:12 Drew Hello, people. Yeah, but I don't care.

3:14 Adam That's true. You don't care about a lot, which is good, which is why you kick ass so much.

3:17 Drew I've got pheromones that are turning you on right now.

3:20 Adam It's more than pheromones.

3:21 Stryker Yeah, I don't know if that's called pheromones.

3:23 Drew I think they're called fairy-mones.

3:26 Stryker Hey, what the? Are you switching?

3:28 Drew What?

3:28 Stryker Are you switching?

3:29 Drew No, I am a switch hitter.

3:31 Stryker But I'm an ACDC.

3:32 By the way, who was molested as well, yes?

3:39 Drew Come on, please, don't dig my past up.

3:41 Stryker But you're not, but you're not.

3:42 Drew I'm ACDC.

3:43 Stryker You're not declaring a major.

3:44 Drew ACDC, I'm not declaring a major, though. Although right now, to be honest with you, girls.

3:49 Stryker What's it always kind of been, yeah, yeah.

3:52 Drew Oh, I had a couple bad years. After that last girl, remember?

3:55 Stryker Yeah, yeah.

3:55 Drew Her name starts with an L.

3:56 Yes, yes.

3:57 Adam And it rhymes with what?

3:58 Drew And it rhymes with bitch.

4:01 And she.

4:02 Drew No, no, we're friends now.

4:04 What was the guy's, that's in all the buzzes.

4:06 Where's your band?

4:07 Drew The band, I have a new band. I have a new band called Phonic Subdivision. It's an 80s band, but we don't do cover songs. We do original 80s. It's like we had a band in the 80s and we just never gave it up.

4:21 Adam So you sound like the Thompson Twins.

4:23 Drew Yes, yes. Meets Depeche Mode, meets Flakasiegel. Well, we look like Flakasiegel.

4:29 Stryker Haircut 100.

4:30 Drew We've got the haircut. Is there a band called Haircut 100? Yeah, there is.

4:34 Adam I think they sang a song called Love Plus One.

4:36 Stryker Yes.

4:37 Drew Right? I like to use numbers.

4:38 Stryker You were what, three at that point, Stryker?

4:40 Adam I think I was two, as a matter of fact.

4:41 Stryker Three plus one.

4:42 Drew I feel good, I'm very happy to be here.

4:44 Stryker I know, you've been too long with that scene. What happened at, relax, what happened at Coachella?

4:49 Drew You just wanna dive right into it.

4:52 Stryker We have people who are listening from around the country and they didn't hear that nefarious story.

4:56 Drew They didn't hear that story. How come I don't get the computer screen so I can say, please don't take that one?

5:02 Adam Coachella is a huge two day music festival, you guys, in the desert, past Palm Springs. I mean, there are more drugs there than you know what to do with. Marijuana is probably the least prevalent drug on the premises. Everyone's there for a good time. Andrew, Dick got into some sort of trouble.

5:17 Drew Well, the thing is, is everybody, that's what you do when you go to Coachella. You go down there to lay on the grass and smoke it, and smoke it.

5:28 Stryker Well, this is like the giant man, burning man festival.

5:30 Drew Yeah, it's like that, except nobody's painted.

5:34 Stryker Nobody loves potluck, you do.

5:36 Oh, God, I love it.

5:38 Drew But I am, I'm gonna tell you right now, and I'm not lying, I'm sober.

5:41 Stryker Right now.

5:41 Drew Completely, I'm gonna write this second, but for the long haul, which means until the holidays. Jesus Christ in heaven, where has this been? Send me an ounce of this stuff. I remember that. That was after like 30 days I hadn't smoked or something like that. But I have always, every year, I have my annual holiday relapse. That's what I call it. And it lasts from the holiday of Halloween until the holiday of, around New Year's.

6:09 Stryker Memorial Day.

6:11 Drew This year, this year it went a little long, but it was.

6:17 Stryker You seem less irritable though, the last time I saw you.

6:19 Drew I know, I don't know what's going on. That's good.

6:21 Adam Last time I saw you, you were a little irritable.

6:23 Drew What, where, what, where? At a bar, at a bar, at a club.

6:26 Adam No, you're fine though, you're fine, you're good. Everyone was in the same state.

6:29 I saw Andy at like an underwear lingerie party thing.

6:32 Adam You did?

6:33 Drew Where is he?

6:34 Stryker Anderson's back at the old studio.

6:35 Drew He's here?

6:36 Adam No, he was not here.

6:37 Drew But you guys have a little like call tie-in?

6:40 Stryker He's still with the satellite, we get access to the satellite over there.

6:43 Drew And it was a lingerie party, where were we?

6:45 No, it wasn't really a party, it was like a runway model thing in LA, downtown LA.

6:49 Stryker Oh, you did? It was a fundraiser.

6:52 Drew It was in that old bank.

6:53 Adam Yeah, yeah, and there was like a safe in the back, art show.

6:56 Drew Right, I went into the safe, like you weren't allowed to go, it was an old bank and they had one of those old safes. And I went in and I went way in the back and then I heard somebody say, close the door! I panicked, could you imagine? Oh, and then there was a sign, there was a sign bolted there like made of steel that said, if you get locked in, there is no way to open it from the inside, but you can open a little hole for air. Panicky. So you were stuck. Yeah, but let's go back to Coachella.

7:25 Adam Yeah, Coachella, let's hear the story about Coachella.

7:27 Drew So, oh, there's your rockstar drink. How can you be a rockstar and be on a diet? Diet rockstar, it's like, you're rocking out halfway.

7:37 Adam Well, I'm like Michael.

7:42 Stryker A lot of rockstars have eating disorders.

7:43 Yeah, right, right.

7:46 Stryker Go ahead. So, Coachella, you're there.

7:47 Drew Coachella, I'm there doing what every, all the other tens of thousands of people are doing. You were there. I happened to, at this particular Coachella, which I haven't done in years, I have not done this in years, I ate something that looked similar to this, the top of this table. You know what I'm saying?

8:06 The shape of it?

8:07 Drew Well, whatever, you put them on your pizza. I don't want to just come out and like.

8:11 Anchovies?

8:11 Drew You ate some anchovies? Yes, let's say they were psychedelic anchovies. And so I, you know, right, and I'm having fun. And then you just lose kind of your judgment. So then I'm just walking around.

8:26 Stryker Which Andy, for you, that's.

8:27 Drew It's bad because I already don't have.

8:29 Stryker That's right.

8:31 Drew Inhibitions and boundaries.

8:32 Stryker Or judgment.

8:33 Drew Or judgment, good or bad. So basically to make a long story short, I told the story on Letterman, how I found a bunny head. Did you hear about that story?

8:42 Adam No, the bunny head from the flaming lips.

8:44 Drew Exactly. I went into this blue tent and in the blue tent, and I'm not kidding around. And this is, I've lost all my friends because I'm in doing, I'm on my own purple haze trip, right? Walking around, just wandering. It was really actually quite awesome. Went into this bright blue tent, found this bunny head. And it was the kind like a mascot would wear. A pink or white.

9:06 Adam Huge gigantic head though.

9:07 Drew Yeah, like this, and it was a cutesy bunny head. I put it on. What else are you gonna do? I put it on, and I go out the other side of the tent. And there's proof of this too. And I walk up this ramp, and then I notice that I'm walking onto the stage.

9:22 Oh my God. Who was on it?

9:23 Drew The flaming lips were on with 30 other bunnies. I see the other bunnies across the way, and I run, like there they are, my people kind of thing. Go over to the bunnies, and start moving with them and dancing, and the flaming lips are playing, and I'm moving. And then I realize, I look around, and I notice that I'm the only one that doesn't have the bunny bottom.

9:48 Stryker Oh, so you're naked.

9:49 Drew And that's how I-

9:49 Stryker You're naked.

9:50 Drew I wasn't naked. Oh yeah, I was a naked bunny.

9:52 Stryker Yes.

9:52 Drew But I had a Mickey Mouse t-shirt.

9:54 Stryker You're in your bunny underwear.

9:55 Drew Exactly, like when Wile E. Coyote gets his skin ripped off, and he's got, like, what does he have on him? He just has a white-

10:02 Stryker It's foghorn leghorn.

10:03 Drew Foghorn leghorn, he looks like a plopped chicken.

10:06 Stryker The big box is all with hearts on it.

10:08 Drew Yeah, and then, like, it looks like whatever, but he, no, he, I'm talking like I'm the third person. So I just ran off stage. There's proof of that. There's gonna be videotapers.

10:18 Adam How long were you dancing before you ran off?

10:19 Drew Just a couple minutes. Just a couple minutes.

10:22 Adam Did you see how ginormous that crowd was? I mean, there were thousands.

10:26 Drew Tens of thousands.

10:27 Adam 80,000 were watching.

10:29 Drew No, I think so, between 60 and 100. Yeah, right. We're watching them. Coming and going, you know. Lots of different tents, too, but at the Flaming Lips at this particular time, there was just tons. That's not why I got kicked out, though. I got kicked out because I was just openly just like puffing away with some people, and then I got some light shined in my face, and everyone dispersed. Everyone ran away. This happened after the bunny thing. And everyone ran. Then you went to jail.

10:59 Adam I wanna know how, so they walked up to you and said, what are you doing?

11:02 Drew Yeah, they put the light, why do they have to shine it like two inches from your face? I know, so bright. I'm one of those magna lights or whatever. And then they took me into the back, and I didn't know what was going on. I was still kind of having a little trip. This is fun. You're a nice, friendly officer. I really was like, oh, you're so friendly. And he took me, we're just gonna go for a walk. Oh, I love it, I love walking. And we walk and we walk into the effing police tent. And suddenly they're taking things out of my pocket, all my stuff and this and that. And suddenly they're coughing me.

11:37 Adam Oh my, and then you lose the trip and the lovely feeling.

11:40 Drew Dude, only 29 people got busted. 29. Out of tens of thousands.

11:46 Adam Fake wristbands.

11:48 Drew Yeah, but they didn't get busted. They just got kicked out.

11:50 Adam Right, and well, they got a little bit.

11:52 Drew This is not good for me. I work for Disney, first of all.

11:56 Stryker But as you're getting older, and you're getting to be, remind me of the guy that is the doorman at Oz. You know the guy with the horse of a different color?

12:07 Drew The Wizard of Oz? Yeah.

12:08 Adam Like I think basically you have a free pass, Andy, to get away with that, don't you?

12:12 Drew I mean, it was one. It seems like I would. I'm not going to go back to Coachella. I'm not going to go, I don't want to.

12:17 Stryker That's the problem. Coachella's the problem.

12:19 Drew Come on.

12:21 Adam Drew, don't pull your doctor right now.

12:25 Stryker Please, please, be a friend, Drew.

12:26 Adam Why don't you give the man a hug?

12:27 I'm doing great now.

12:29 Drew No, stay over there, please.

12:30 Stryker Be careful with this, he'll start touching you. No, no, no. Even if you don't ask him, he'll start touching you.

12:34 Drew I like this outfit you're wearing, Stryker.

12:36 Stryker Thank you, sir. Let's take some calls, shall we, guys?

12:39 Hold on, I'm getting a compliment.

12:40 Drew That takes nuts to wear that.

12:41 Stryker Thank you.

12:42 Drew I like it.

12:43 Stryker Or lack therein. Okay, here we go.

12:45 Adam Can you be my friend and not just my doctor?

12:47 Drew Please don't take any weird call. Please don't take any like, you know, like.

12:52 Stryker Here's an easy, here's a like. Laura 16. Laura? Hey, what's going on? And by the way, it's a full moon.

12:59 Oh, I saw it.

13:00 Drew It's real yellow too. Like somebody pissed. Can you say wee wee? We have a song called Wee Wee.

13:07 Stryker Is that Rip Taylor? Was that, was that guy that crazy comedian in the 70s? Rip Torn? No, not Rip Torn.

13:14 Adam Rip Taylor, the guy with the big mustache?

13:16 Stryker Yeah.

13:16 Adam Have you seen the spasmatics play, by the way, in the 80s? Of course. They're unbelievable.

13:20 Drew Yeah, that's where, yeah, that's where I don't want to talk.

13:23 Adam Okay. I got something. Oh, really, right?

13:26 Drew See, I got nine stitches, anyways. Yeah, just sitting there enjoying the show.

13:30 Stryker Oh, no.

13:32 Adam Flashlights there.

13:33 Stryker Okay, go. Everybody, so you're gonna get a pair of everybody. Yes. Yes.

13:40 Stryker He's more on teen dating.

13:44 Stryker Well, tell me your situation.

13:45 Drew Do it.

13:46 Stryker Let's look at it.

13:47 Drew My son is now a teenager and he's dating.

13:49 Stryker Dating is a good thing.

13:51 Drew My son is 16. You should hook up with them.

13:53 Stryker But hooking up is not the good thing.

13:55 Drew No, I mean hook up to go see a movie.

13:57 Stryker Yeah, dating is a healthy thing. It's how you figure out who you're looking for, how you feel about yourself in a relationship. No, no, no, no, no. I'm saying hooking up is not the good thing.

14:10 Stryker Dating is the good thing. I don't want to hook up, I'm waiting for my married to go that far. But my situation is that I come from a very strict family and friends.

14:23 Adam Religious?

14:26 Stryker And they don't believe in even touching boys. And I made a date with a guy tomorrow and no one knows.

14:36 Adam What are you guys supposed to do on the date?

14:38 Stryker I'm a little bit worried.

14:40 Adam How old is the guy?

14:41 How old?

14:43 Stryker He's 20.

14:44 Adam See, now that's not a good move on your part.

14:46 Drew Isn't that illegal?

14:47 Stryker He's really, really sweet.

14:49 Stryker Laura, here's the measure of how bizarre this is. When you're 20 and you look at your peers, your 20-year-old peers, and think which of these guys would be a 16-year-old, when you find one, he will give you the creeps like you won't believe.

15:03 Stryker It's not like that though.

15:04 Stryker I know it seems that way, but...

15:05 Stryker No, it is that way because...

15:07 Drew Wait, wait, wait. How do you measure it?

15:09 Stryker If she, when she's 20 finally, she'll look around her peers and go, oh my God, these guys, he was dating a 16-year-old. My peer's dating, that's like, oh, impossible.

15:19 Drew Dr. Drew, isn't it not illegal?

15:21 Stryker It's not illegal to date. It's illegal to have sex. It's also sort of a contribute to the delinquency kind of thing.

15:27 Stryker But do you believe in dating in general as a teenager?

15:30 Stryker I do. I think it's a good thing, but it's not, as long as it doesn't lead to hooking up and getting joined to the hip.

15:35 Stryker There's no hooking up. It's all very...

15:37 Stryker Yeah, so I think it's a good thing.

15:38 Adam 20-year-olds don't want to just be...

15:39 Drew Dr. Drew, I'm going to tell you something. I'm 38 and I date 19-year-olds.

15:46 Stryker Yeah, but that's an adult. That's not good for 19-year-olds, necessarily. But at least you're both adults.

15:53 Drew Because you know what? Somebody said between 16 and 19, that is a long time.

15:57 Stryker Your brain keeps developing. It's a whole different thing.

16:01 Drew From 19, oh, she's.

16:09 Adam Gone. Date, but don't have sex.

16:12 Drew I was going to say, tell her parents, and we're just going to go have coffee.

16:15 Adam Do 16-year-olds go get coffee?

16:16 Yeah, whatever.

16:18 Adam Go to the mall, walk around, and look for the ultimate frozen younger. Crystal.

16:26 Drew What up?

16:26 Stryker I was going to say, that was an awesome buddy story that you told. But it was a horrible ending. I'm really sorry you got arrested.

16:36 Drew It really is a horrible ending for me. And I didn't get it right. It was like a citation, it was like a parking ticket.

16:42 Adam You have to go to the court or just pay like 80, you do, down at Palm Springs you have to drive there.

16:46 Drew Or a lawyer might show up.

16:47 Stryker I listened to the story and I heard a good ending, he's sober again. It was a wake up call.

16:55 Drew Completely, literally stone cold sober. And I feel good again.

17:00 Stryker Alright, well, you guys ready to hear my problems?

17:04 Drew Yeah.

17:06 Stryker Okay, well, I'm 19 and I've been dating this guy for almost two years. And I have two major problems. Number one, I have a dependency on heroin.

17:19 Drew Oh man, by the way, are you from Chicago?

17:22 Stryker Yes.

17:22 Drew I can hear it. I hear it in the car. And she's got a stuff, is it stuff with heroin? Allergies to heroin.

17:32 Stryker I've never done that. You know, it just started out where I do whatever you like doing with that, but he's been doing it forever.

17:39 Drew Is it that white?

17:40 Stryker Before I knew it, you know, I'd be all f***ed up if I didn't do it.

17:44 Adam Hey, Crystal.

17:45 Stryker Coach Crystal.

17:47 Adam Now you're done. Anderson, is she done?

17:48 Stryker Hang on, we gotta hear the end of her story though. Are you there? We have to take a few minutes for the whole thing to reset.

17:55 So you just have to give me ten seconds so I can cut it.

17:56 We're good to go.

17:57 Stryker But like right after she cusses, I can't.

17:59 I have to listen to her story.

18:00 Drew And then what is the audience listening to during this talk? Us talking right now. Oh, then that's great.

18:04 Let's not talk to Crystal anymore.

18:06 Stryker That's fine. Do we have to talk to Crystal? She's all f***ed up. Yeah, but she's on heroin.

18:11 Adam Can you just give her some advice, Drew, while she's on a hold?

18:14 Stryker Well, you're right. In a way, it's almost a waste of time and energy to talk to heroin addicts because it's such a profoundly deadly disease, and they're thinking it's so affected by it, and they believe they can control it, and if I could just get off it, I'll be fine. The fact is there's one and only one way to deal with opiate addiction now, and that is to go into a long-term, highly structured program. And the detox is no sweat, but the staying off is very important.

18:36 Adam What about, she's only been doing not only, but two months?

18:39 Stryker No, it's more than that. She's just minimizing it.

18:41 Drew That's why I honestly never got into heroin.

18:45 Stryker The opiates is such a serious addiction. She had a question on our screen about her periods. Her periods have gone away, and absolutely heroin will block the cycling mechanisms.

18:55 Drew Guess what else goes away? Your life.

18:58 Stryker That comes later.

18:59 Drew Your life.

18:59 Stryker Now you die. Very few heroin addicts see 50.

19:02 Adam Alright, Kate, you're 15 on Loveline. What's up, Kate? With Andy Dick here, by the way.

19:07 Drew Welcome.

19:08 He's bisexual.

19:09 Drew He's bisexual. Hey, hey.

19:12 Stryker You always told me you were tri-sexual.

19:14 Drew I'll try anything.

19:15 Adam What is Morrissey?

19:18 Drew Asexual. None. Nothing. He used to have a vagina. No. But he sewed it up. No, I don't know.

19:28 Adam He lives right around the corner. I think so.

19:30 Stryker Yeah, I have a question for Dr. Drew. Some of my friends have gone on the pill and their boobs have grown.

19:39 Stryker That does happen.

19:40 Adam Yes.

19:41 Stryker Estrogen pills.

19:43 Stryker I am like the only A cup in my group of friends. I don't know if it's just my group of friends that are C and D cups or whatever. But I was wondering if I would go on the pill with my boobs grow.

19:53 Stryker There's no way to predict that.

19:55 Adam Your boobs get really sore as well.

19:57 Drew A cup is real little. I like little breasts. I honestly do.

20:01 Stryker There's no way to sort of... I prefer little breasts.

20:06 Drew Don't change you. Find a guy that likes you for you. I prefer little breasts. They never sag, ever. Well, yeah. I'll give you my number off the air.

20:21 Stryker She's 15.

20:22 Drew She's 15. No, never mind. Nothing.

20:23 Stryker The fact is though, Kate, you probably will grow. You're only 15. Yeah, of course. You've got to have three to five years of...

20:29 Drew Oh, they grow up to like what? 23 maybe.

20:32 Adam Andy, you said it's so perfect. I know so many of my friends like small boobs.

20:36 Drew I love them. I do not like fake ones. I really don't like big ones. Jamie?

20:41 Adam I enjoy a breast. By the way, actually a nice size, a decent size, but I also enjoy the small ones.

20:46 Stryker Jamie?

20:48 Stryker Yes.

20:48 Stryker What's up?

20:50 Stryker I work in a correctional facility for juveniles, and I work primarily with female juveniles between the ages of about 12 to where they leave when they're 18. And I used to work with adults back East, and it's a whole new ball game with the juvenile females. The fact that the question I'm asking is basically for Dr. Drew in regards to self abuse. Why does it happen? How can it be avoided?

21:19 Stryker You're talking about cutting?

21:21 Stryker Yes, cutting.

21:22 Adam That's an MTV thing that you're talking about, right?

21:24 Stryker Yeah, cutting has become a contagious problem in that age group. It's become sort of the behavior du jour, and there's no doubt that it is something that has become a trend. It is basically a bid, what I call, for affect regulation. It's people that have severe emotional distress and profound aggression and frustration and have no other means to manage it. They just grab for something desperate. You can use drugs. You can do bungee jumping. You can do things to simulate your brain, but one of the things you can do is cutting, and it works for them. That's why they do it. The only way you can really, other than putting them in... What?

22:00 Drew I just remember, there's this thing I saw where people are getting off on not just cutting, but cutting off whole limbs. Have you seen that? No, I've seen it. In Germany? They get off on cutting. They start with a fingertip, but they can cut off a whole leg, and it's sexual.

22:15 Adam They just keep cutting, they'll take a little piece, and then they'll take a whole leg off.

22:19 Drew You didn't hear about that?

22:21 Stryker No, but that's all true. That's the same people that end up dismembering other people and things too. Yeah, it's bad.

22:29 Drew But what were you going to say?

22:31 Stryker The other than dealing with the behaviors in a highly structured manner as you would any other truant behavior, it's a matter of getting them proper psychiatric care. And I know that's in short, in high demand, in short availability where you are. But it's a very complex problem. It's not as though there's one sort of basic approach to this. It's not a one size fits all. It's a symptom of many, many different problems. In terms of getting it to stop, though, just like any other behavior you need to stop, whether it is, you know, graduated consequences or whatever, you know, restraints of various types, you have to deal with it in a very structured way.

23:04 Adam So, Drew, we know why some girls go one way and guys go one way based on what happened to them as a kid, but what happens to them normally that makes them want to cut?

23:11 Stryker It's trauma.

23:11 Adam It is trauma. One big trauma.

23:13 Stryker No, it's usually a chronic trauma. It's usually people that are very, very seriously psychiatrically impaired.

23:18 Adam All right, we got to take a break?

23:20 Stryker Yeah.

23:20 Adam Break time. Andy Dick is here. He's on TV. He's always on TV. He was in old school. He had the best role in that.

23:26 He kicked the crap out of Will Ferrell.

23:28 Drew Yes. Yes, I did.

23:29 Adam No, that was with the frying pan, I believe.

23:31 Drew I'd like to do that in person.

23:32 Adam Really?

23:32 Drew He's taking all my roles.

23:34 Adam No.

23:34 Drew Well, he's a big movie star and I'm not.

23:36 Adam He is. He's gone to, like, Europe. What do you mean you're not a big movie star?

23:39 Drew It's cameos. But just hold on. It'll happen.

23:42 Adam You're a big television star.

23:43 Drew Yeah, but it'll happen.

23:44 Adam It'll happen. Hey, Drew and I work in a frickin booth eight by ten feet. Well, he gets to be on CNN, which is cool.

23:51 Drew Are you on CNN now? Oh, wow. Well, man.

23:56 Adam Why is it Dr.?

23:57 Drew That's nice.

23:58 Adam All right, more with Andy Dick and more Loveline after this.

24:06 This is Live at 05.

24:12 Adam All right, we're back on Loveline. I'm Stryker for Adam Carolla, Drew Pinsky, board certified.

24:18 Drew Blah, blah, blah. Addiction medicine specialist. He's a board certified blah, blah, blah. Blah, blah, blah, blah. And I am a board certified so and so.

24:26 Adam Rabbit head.

24:27 Drew Yeah.

24:27 Adam Bunny head.

24:28 Drew Call me Mr. Rabbit Head.

24:29 Adam Every time I hear about flaming lips and see the bunnies, I'm going to think of you now. Which is a good thing, because that's not what led to the...

24:36 Drew That wasn't. That was the fun part. That was the fun part. But that was the part that's raised the red flag. For people... For the cops.

24:44 Adam Just keep an eye on that guy.

24:45 Drew Keep an eye on that fool. Yeah.

24:47 Adam Andy, you're on TV on ABC on Tuesdays at 9.30. It's called Less Than Perfect. Yeah.

24:52 Drew That show just got picked up for a third season. Which means probably it's going to go for the full, at least five.

24:59 Adam And you've had how many other shows that have gone that many?

25:03 Drew News radio. And that was it. The Andy Dick Show had three seasons, but they were MTV seasons, which is six episodes each.

25:13 Adam Right.

25:14 Drew But then we had eight, we had 20 altogether. And then the new show on MTV is called The Assistant.

25:21 Adam Which is kind of like The Apprentice.

25:32 Drew I know what that is from. That's my Barney Fife getting reamed by Andy Griffin. The Assistant is like a parody. It's like a comedy version of The Apprentice. And so there's 12 contestants and then we, I eliminate them one by one.

25:48 Stryker You're fired.

25:49 Drew Yeah. It is, except I say you're clipped.

25:52 Stryker Have you, have you done it yet?

25:53 Drew Yeah, we shot it and I was just in the editing bay today. It's going to be strange.

25:58 Adam They're trying to be your assistant.

26:00 Drew Yes.

26:01 Adam And are they going to really be your assistant?

26:03 Drew In the end, what they win is an entry level job at MTV. And a car.

26:10 Adam What's their salary?

26:11 Drew A car. I don't know. It's an entry level.

26:13 Adam I was going to say MTV is like eight bucks and it's free.

26:15 Drew It's really low. It's low. And they went a little tiny, they went a Scion TC, run by hamsters. This is one of those little things, tiny little things. And that's coming on in July. That is coming on like next month.

26:29 Adam Was that your idea behind?

26:31 Drew No, but it originated from an idea that we did on the Andy Dick show where we followed my assistant around. And you know, the MTV Movie Awards are this Saturday.

26:39 Adam You know that?

26:40 Drew I'm going to go and it's good. Then we can hang out. I'm going to go and I also have a couple bits in there.

26:44 Adam Oh, cool. So that's funny.

26:45 Stryker That's funny.

26:46 Drew And I was going to tell you one more thing. The assistant. I don't remember.

26:49 Stryker We got a bunch of cool calls.

26:51 Drew Let me hear this.

26:52 Adam Wait, I don't want you to end up like David Spade and getting a stun gun. Remember?

26:56 Drew I know. Oh, that's what I was going to tell you that the assistant supposed to be about the assistants, but it really winds up being about this arc of my character just slowly going insane. How wide would I need 12 assistants? There's not that much work for me to give them.

27:12 Stryker You start beating on them the way you beat on your band.

27:15 Drew I'm not legally allowed to. I wanted to. I wanted to bitch slap all of them.

27:19 Stryker Yes.

27:20 Adam Reach back like a miff and slap the hoe. All right. Jade, you're 21 on Loveline.

27:24 Stryker You've got back hand like John McEnroe.

27:29 Adam Anderson.

27:30 Caller All right.

27:31 Adam What's up, Jade?

27:33 I've been a diabetic since I was seven years old. I still have feeling and everything in my legs and everything is going great. I recently just turned 21 and I've actually recently just lost my infirmity. I'm unable to orgasm and I was wondering if I had something to do with it.

27:57 Stryker It could, but it's hard to say that it is due to that. Most juvenile diabetics are kind of thin.

28:05 Drew Are you thin or not?

28:07 No, 135.

28:09 Stryker What?

28:11 Did you say thin?

28:12 Drew Are you skinny or medium or?

28:15 Stryker Hefty.

28:16 135 by the way.

28:17 Drew You're fat. So you're normal. She's normal.

28:20 Stryker Most juvenile diabetics are kind of thin.

28:23 Drew I'm not a doctor, but I would say it has nothing to do with it. I think that-

28:25 Stryker Well, most 20-year-old female- It has nothing to do with it. First of all, the significant majority of 21-year-old females will not have an orgasm at the intercourse. That's all cumbersome. Oral sex for most of them is necessary.

28:36 Drew Or they need the reach around.

28:37 Stryker Or some sort of direct stimulation.

28:39 Adam While you're doing that.

28:40 Stryker Very few, maybe 10 or 20% will actually have orgasm at the intercourse.

28:43 Adam Is it a two-finger reach around or a one-finger?

28:45 Stryker Hold on. Now, the fact is that did you ever go through a period of time during your, when you were growing up that you didn't take your insulin and ended up in ketoacidosis and all that stuff?

28:53 Adam Yes, ketoacidosis.

28:54 Stryker No. So you've been diligent with your insulin, your foot-

28:57 Drew Well, whose acidosis did you end up in?

28:59 Stryker You've been diligent to control your blood sugar throughout your life, right? So you had no complication with your diabetes?

29:05 Drew I'm going to bring my own snare drum.

29:11 Stryker Right, but you didn't end up in the hospital with, you know-

29:15 Drew What I would do is just eat some candy and take a nap.

29:17 Stryker So, and never wake up again.

29:19 Drew Oh, really?

29:20 Stryker And so, you have no neuropathy, so there's no evidence of nerve damage yet for your diabetes, so it's unlikely to be affecting your sexual functioning, okay?

29:27 Adam You just started sex, it's gonna take a lot of-

29:29 Drew I don't understand. They're not allowed to eat sugar, but when they're at their worst diabetic fit, give them a piece of candy! Yes. Well, I don't understand how that works.

29:37 Stryker That the insulin, the things we treat them with, can cause very, very low blood sugars, and low blood sugar can be life-threatening immediately. The high sugars are what cause the damage from the diabetes.

29:47 Drew Don't understand, and you know what?

29:48 Stryker And sometimes, when the high gets really high, it changes the acid base status of the entire system- I'm going to sleep right now.

29:56 Adam How come no one just said, and we tried to, but you're talking about being in the acidosis, when you first have sex, I'm not a girl, but-

30:02 Stryker No one has orgasms.

30:03 Adam Yeah, it's going to take a while. I mean, guys have one. I can have one when the wind's blowing kind of strongly.

30:07 Stryker This is actually something that really bothers me, is that women are not taught about how they actually function. No one teaches women about how they actually function.

30:14 Drew About how their clitoris works?

30:16 Stryker Their sexual response, how very they are.

30:18 Drew A clitoris is a mini penis.

30:21 Stryker Except it doesn't work like one.

30:23 Drew But it doesn't have the same nerves. It's like a little penis.

30:27 Stryker Primordial source of the same thing.

30:29 Drew It is. It's a primordial meaning. A primordial? You just called them like little salamanders.

30:34 Stryker You just called all women salamanders. No, it sounded like a penis.

30:40 Adam I like that.

30:42 Stryker Actually, I meant tadpole.

30:47 Drew That's my production company, Polywag.

30:49 Adam You guys do Less Than Perfect?

30:51 Drew We didn't do that. We did the Andy Dick show. You did. That was such a good show, by the way.

30:55 Adam That was awesome.

30:55 Stryker Save us, Natalie. I'm going to call you. Natalie.

30:57 Adam Saving from what?

30:58 Stryker From you.

30:59 Drew From me. Natalie, go ahead. Call her.

31:04 Stryker What's up?

31:05 Easy there, mister.

31:06 Drew What's up, Natalia?

31:07 Stryker These are your same numbers.

31:08 Drew I knew it.

31:12 Stryker No, I want to hear the House of Pain one.

31:13 I got to Bachan like John Machanero. Said, Beach steps up, I'm smocking the hole.

31:19 Stryker You need to hear the House of Pain. Come on, let's do it. You can come up with that.

31:22 I just played it.

31:23 Stryker You didn't hear it? Yeah, I went... No, the real one.

31:25 Oh, I'm not going to get the song.

31:26 Stryker Come on.

31:27 Stryker What?

31:28 Stryker Chris.

31:30 Drew I want the real one. Is Natalia here?

31:32 Stryker Yeah.

31:32 Stryker Yeah, what's up?

31:34 Stryker My question is, like, I'm 16 and I have a boyfriend and he's 17. And we've been together for about six months and he's, like, really pressuring sex and I'm, like, really not ready.

31:46 Stryker Then really don't let him...

31:47 Adam That's cool that you're doing that.

31:49 Stryker And if he pushes you beyond that, it's called rape. So you have to put him on notice that you mean, you truly mean no and any sort of, not even pressuring, but manipulation or overpowering will be a serious, serious problem.

32:02 Adam And tell him the more he annoys you about asking, the less likely you're gonna not give in but that you're gonna do it at some point.

32:07 Stryker But know this, males from 16 on are under the influence of an incredibly powerful drug. Unbelievable.

32:14 Adam Hormones.

32:15 Stryker Testosterone. Yeah, it's unbelievable.

32:18 Drew For when, from when to when is the testosterone?

32:21 Stryker From 16 to 40. But your testosterone is gone, Mr. Pinsky. I can feel it fading. But 16 to 20, it's just in a full storm.

32:31 Drew Is yours just starting to subside?

32:34 Adam Can you feel it subside?

32:35 Drew You must feel it kind of waxing away in your back. Yes, it was just last week. I just felt a little wane.

32:41 Adam Like that girl.

32:42 Drew That John way.

32:46 Adam Drew, can you feel it going down a little or not?

32:48 Stryker You can notice it.

32:49 Drew Really?

32:49 Stryker I notice someone's got to work out a lot and things. And I used to be able to push incredibly heavy weights and now it's like, what the hell?

32:55 Drew What happened here?

32:56 Stryker What happened here? I'll start running.

32:58 Adam Natalia, do you understand what to do?

33:00 Stryker Yeah, like just don't give in.

33:03 Stryker Exactly. You know, it's good for you.

33:06 Stryker Because like, I care a lot about them and I don't want to listen.

33:10 Drew Let me give her one more piece of advice, if you're feeling it, if something happens, at the very least, please wear a rubber, wear a condom.

33:21 Adam Or give him oral sex.

33:22 Drew I have him wear a condom.

33:23 Stryker Yeah, oral sex does kind of take the intercourse away from the out of the equation, as it were. But, you know, the fact that women have to do that in order to diffuse the situation, I'm feeling guilty right now. Is this something you've done? Yeah. Are you sick of me? Seriously. Seriously.

33:44 Drew Oh, thank you, by the way. You guys are the ones that hook me up with Coachella every year. Yeah. Thanks. Thanks for the citation.

33:49 Stryker Grace.

33:51 Adam These two tickets will get you a citation back to India.

33:54 Stryker What's up, Grace?

33:57 Stryker What up?

34:01 Drew Did you recognize my voice?

34:04 Stryker All right.

34:07 Stryker Yeah.

34:10 Drew What is that? Well, what is that?

34:11 Stryker That's a caller who was sexually abused at about four. And so her voice sounded like a four-year-old. Well, you've got a little bit of that going on.

34:20 Stryker No, I'm a little person.

34:21 Stryker I was saying, you don't give me the feeling.

34:22 Adam She sounded like the one that's in the movie.

34:24 Stryker No, it's not the same. No, it isn't. It isn't. No, sometimes I don't believe that.

34:32 Drew How small are you? Are you literally a midget?

34:34 Stryker No. No, I'm about 4 foot 11.

34:40 Stryker Great.

34:41 Drew That's somebody different.

34:42 Stryker Somebody pushing. No, no. Yes.

34:43 Okay.

34:45 Stryker I've been seeing a guy for about two years now. And he decided recently, actually just today, that he didn't want to have sex with me anymore.

34:56 Stryker He's gay. You've been having sex for two years?

34:58 Stryker Yes. I met him, I guess it took us about six months.

35:03 Stryker And under what circumstances did he decide to take it the way?

35:06 Stryker One of his close friends just got pregnant.

35:10 Stryker A female friend.

35:11 Stryker Yes. And she's on the pill just like I am. And she's been using condoms. We don't. But she got pregnant.

35:16 Stryker She got pregnant using condoms on the pill?

35:18 Stryker Yes. See, I'm trying to tell him that's not possible.

35:20 Stryker This is the Messiah. The Messiah is coming.

35:25 Stryker Did he mess up because he won't have sex with me now?

35:27 Stryker Well, first of all, unfortunately, I've been talking to Loveline College for so many years. My head immediately goes to, it's his child.

35:35 Stryker Oh, no, no, no, no.

35:39 Stryker Even worse.

35:40 Adam Where do you live? Like Northern California or something?

35:45 Stryker See? Fresno's almost Bakersfield. It's Bakersfield light.

35:49 Adam It's the arson capital of the world, by the way.

35:52 Stryker All right. But, but Grace, he's just freaking out right now. Listen, if you're on the pill, you take it properly. You don't take any other medications or anything. The probability of a pregnancy is extremely remote. If you add a condom, if you add a condom to that, it is, I'm serious. It is the second coming. It is the Messiah. Now, I guarantee you something happened with how many of the first coming. What those, that other couple was doing and they goofed up in some way. Would be plenty. If you had a condom, there's just no way you're going to get pregnant. It's just never going to happen. What's that?

36:29 Stryker That just, that just helped a lot what I was trying to tell him that.

36:32 Stryker Great.

36:32 Stryker I hope you'll listen to me.

36:33 Stryker Hey, Grace's boyfriend. Get your act together. Don't be such a, such a wimp. Come on.

36:38 Adam I've been just a pee. Can you say the pee?

36:40 Stryker I told him not to pee. And be realistic too. Be realistic. Just because we're biological beings, but when you, when people sort of awaken to it, they flip out as opposed to sort of dealing with it in a realistic way. Deal with it responsibly, realistically. That's fine. You're an adult. He's 19 or 20 also. Fantastic. Be an adult. Okay. Let's go to number four. No, we're going to break.

37:01 Adam We're going to break.

37:01 Stryker And then we'll come back.

37:02 Adam We're going to break. Coming back with Andy Dick and we're going to do Germany or Florida.

37:05 Drew Yeah.

37:06 Adam Which I'm aware of. Germany or Florida.

37:08 Drew You reached to Germany.

37:09 Adam No, but you'll hear what it's about. Okay. We'll explain in a minute. More on Loveline coming up next.

37:14 Loveline. You know, Drew, smelling good is more than a smell. It's an attitude.

37:22 Stryker That's true, Adam.

37:23 It is?

37:24 Stryker I know how to get that attitude too.

37:26 Adam How?

37:26 Caller Break down.

37:36 Adam All right, we are back on Loveline. Dr. Drew, Stryker, Andy Dick is here. Andy Dick's gonna be, you'll be able to see him. Can I say they'll see you at the MTV?

37:46 Drew He, no, I'll be at the MTV Movie Awards.

37:48 Adam And maybe do a little something, something at the same.

37:50 Drew Do a little something, something during it. I did a short film with Lindsay Lowe.

37:53 Stryker Pre-taped.

37:54 Drew Tiny little like one minute bit.

37:56 Stryker Those are so funny.

37:56 Drew But this one's so short, it's not even worth it almost, but it's still funny. And I do, I think I'll do some kind of live bit, actually pre-show, like red carpet bull crap.

38:06 Adam Doing some stuff.

38:07 Drew Something funny.

38:08 Adam Trying to get everyone ready for the assistance.

38:10 Drew The ass. The ass-sistant. Yeah. And they're all hot too. There's like hot girls and guys, all of them.

38:16 Adam Really?

38:17 Drew Yeah, they're all great.

38:18 Stryker All right, it's time for a little Germany or Florida.

38:20 Adam Germany or Florida. I know Corolla's not here, so I'm excited to play this thing. Okay, what Drew, what are we gonna sing?

38:25 Stryker The theme song.

38:26 Adam Oh, the theme song, all right, let's go.

38:29 Caller What's the theme song? Things are sick and twisted from too much sun and Nazis, sex, meth and death fetishes, both of them have got these, guaranteed not to bore ya, Germany or Florida.

38:39 Adam Germany or Florida.

38:40 Caller All right.

38:41 Drew How did he know that?

38:42 Stryker Tim is 21, that's just a tape.

38:43 Adam What's up, Tim?

38:44 Hey, how you guys doing?

38:45 Stryker We're good.

38:46 All right, here's my article. 60 police officers were rushed to douse a coral that erupted when a family barbecue overheated into unbridled violence with the repeated stabbing of one man in the bottom with a grilling skewer, which required hospitalization. We needed about an hour and a half to calm things down to the local police spokesman. Police said the ruckus between some 40 individuals from three families in the Central Park began when a six-year-old boy was struck in the face by a stick from an unidentified boy.

39:17 Drew Germany or Florida? I'm going to say, just based on the language that is, bottom, bottom, and a ruckus, that it's Germany.

39:26 Stryker Well.

39:26 Drew And there was an English paper.

39:27 Stryker How many German families have barbecues, and three families have 40 people? That is a Southeastern.

39:37 Adam I am going for.

39:39 Stryker That is Florida.

39:41 Adam I am going to say Florida.

39:42 Drew Stabbed in the bottom.

39:43 Stryker In the bottom.

39:44 Adam We got Drew. Wait 10 seconds. We're playing Germany or Florida. All right, we got two Floridas. And are you staying with Germany?

39:53 Stryker Have I persuaded you?

39:57 Drew I am staying with Germany still. I have to, you know.

40:01 Stryker All right, Tim, Germany or Florida?

40:02 Give this one to Andy Dick because it's Germany.

40:09 Stryker Fantastic. And well, game well played, by the way. The language is as close.

40:15 Adam See you later.

40:16 Stryker Maybe Andy, can we get a rendition of the theme song?

40:21 Adam We've got like Tori Amos, we've got Pink, we need you.

40:23 Drew I'll do it if I have the lyrics in front of me.

40:25 Stryker Basically, you'll just go, Germany or Florida. They sing Germany or Florida. Tori Amos. Pink. Here's Pink. One.

40:53 Drew Germany or Florida.

40:57 Stryker I like that.

40:58 I like it. Yeah.

40:59 Stryker That was 80s rock. Bailey. Hey, Bailey.

41:07 Stryker Hey, I was wondering, I don't know what a douches and my boyfriend says if I use it, then it'll take away the smell of my poonies and my poon smells bad.

41:18 Stryker This is fake. Hang on.

41:18 Drew You know what a douche is?

41:20 Stryker No.

41:20 Drew Have you ever heard of the term douche bag?

41:22 Stryker I don't know what some other word that she uses.

41:24 Adam Are the seagulls following you when you walk on the beach?

41:26 Stryker Your what smells bad?

41:28 Drew My poon. Her poon.

41:48 Stryker Bailey, the douche is basically just a wash, a liquid often has a vinegar or a scent in it that just sort of...

41:54 Drew Mint sometimes.

41:55 Stryker Shades of flushes things out. It's not considered to be particularly good for you. And it really doesn't help the smell. The smell is bacterial overgrowth and you need an antibiotic cream for that, so you should talk to your doctor.

42:05 Drew Flush it out with coffee.

42:06 Stryker Antibiotic cream. That's what you need. This is Jason. He's been out here for quite a while.

42:12 Adam What's up, Jason?

42:14 Stryker What's up?

42:15 Adam What up?

42:16 I love Crank Yankers. You remember me, don't you?

42:19 Adam Yeah, you got my show, Crank Yankers.

42:21 Stryker Wait, say Crank Yankers. Is that you? You've aged.

42:25 It's been a while since I've been on.

42:27 Stryker I was going to say you've gotten older. You don't quite...

42:29 Drew Wait, explain this. Is that the same guy for real?

42:31 Stryker Yeah, play it again, Anderson. That's how we used to sound. Now say Crank Yankers.

42:37 Caller Crank Yankers.

42:39 Stryker It's like him with his voice changed.

42:40 Caller That's odd.

42:40 Drew How many years has it been?

42:43 Maybe six months, nine months.

42:45 Stryker What was your name last time?

42:47 I've only had two. My real name has been Jason.

42:51 Stryker What did you use last time?

42:52 I think I used Jason last time, I'm not sure.

42:55 Drew What is that accent? Who's Jason? Where are you from, buddy?

42:59 I'm from here, hopefully.

43:01 Drew Where?

43:02 Caller Here.

43:03 Drew Where? Here. Oh, man, this guy.

43:06 Stryker Oh, you got a smoke detector going off, dude.

43:10 Caller Okay.

43:10 Stryker Wait, wait, wait, wait, Jason.

43:12 Adam I want to know the time frame between you two being here.

43:13 Drew Hang on, hang on.

43:14 Stryker Now, you guys gotta listen real carefully. You're gonna hear a tie. Jason, are you in your bedroom?

43:19 Caller Yes.

43:19 Stryker Is there a smoke detector in your room?

43:21 Caller Yes.

43:22 Stryker Would you stand near it for a second, please?

43:23 Drew Just kind of go over there.

43:24 Stryker Quietly, quietly with the phone, go over there.

43:26 Drew I'm fascinated what's going on. Listen.

43:28 Caller Are you okay?

43:31 Stand by the smoke detector.

43:33 Drew You're creeping me out.

43:34 Caller I'm not sure if it's low on batteries though, but you can check.

43:38 Stryker Yes, I know it's low on batteries.

43:39 Adam No one changes their batteries. It beeps 24 hours a day when they refreeze. In his mansion.

43:43 Drew Is this the same guy from the last time?

43:46 Stryker Most of our callers live this kind of life. Oh, because our phones are so screwed up, they cut off on us. Well, in there, I heard the beep up in the distance.

44:00 Drew So you're saying that a lot of people have...

44:01 Stryker A lot of our callers are so kind of checked out that the smoke detector goes off in their bedroom 24-7 for a year on end and they don't change the battery. And we hear it so... We're listening very carefully to the voices and it's disturbing to us. It goes off once, it makes our skin crawl. They live in it. It's like Chinese water torture.

44:21 Drew It is torture.

44:22 Stryker Jason.

44:23 Yes.

44:24 Stryker Jason.

44:24 Yes.

44:26 Drew I think he got lightheaded and passed out on the way over to the smoke detector. The smoke was thicker up high.

44:31 Stryker Jason.

44:32 Drew That also could be.

44:33 Adam Yes, I'm still here.

44:33 Stryker Okay. So you guys will keep him talking. That helps keep the phone line open. We'll hear the beep.

44:38 Adam Jason, what's going on?

44:38 Drew Jason, what's going on, buddy? Yes.

44:40 Caller Well, I have a 17-year-old girlfriend. And, well, we've been thinking about having sex. But I still live at home, so I want to know if it causes physical and or psychological change.

44:52 Stryker At 19?

44:52 Caller Like the change that maybe my parents would notice that would just, like, really suck because they're, like, really Christian.

44:58 Stryker No, there's nothing about you that will constitutionally change.

45:03 Adam Is he into girls?

45:04 Stryker Yeah.

45:05 Adam No, he's not.

45:06 Stryker He's 19. 19, it's considered... Throughout the world, that would be considered a normal and healthy age to begin with.

45:11 Drew Andy, he's bisexual.

45:12 Stryker Did you hear it go off? Yeah.

45:15 Drew Really high-pitched. It was very high-pitched, right?

45:18 Stryker Yeah.

45:19 Drew Man.

45:21 Stryker I know. Well, you have to live with it. You have to tune it out.

45:24 Drew You're tuning it out.

45:26 Caller Yeah, there's, well, how about my girlfriend?

45:29 Stryker How old is she?

45:30 Caller She's 17. And she's going to be at home, too.

45:34 Stryker Yeah, I don't know if it's legal at 17 in your state.

45:37 Adam Dr. Drew is opening up his black notebook, everyone. He's looking up New Mexico to see if a 19-year-old can penetrate, I mean, have sex with a 19-year-old.

45:44 Drew Do you have a list there?

45:45 Stryker 17.

45:45 Drew I'm going to need to make a copy.

45:47 Stryker 17.

45:48 Drew Let me see that thing. Throughout the heck.

45:51 Adam So, he's legal, right?

45:52 Drew Legal age of consent. He's got a whole booklet here.

45:55 Adam Jason, why don't you want to do it? You're afraid it's going to mess you up mentally?

45:58 Stryker He's afraid it's going to change him and his parents will notice.

46:01 Adam Oh, God, forget that.

46:03 Stryker I'm more concerned, Jason, with the fact that you were so, at 19, so dependent on your family that you're...

46:09 Adam Afraid to have sex?

46:10 Stryker Well, afraid to be a person. And for fear that any genuine expression of yourself will result in damage to your parents. I'm going to need to make a copy of the book.

46:20 Adam We're going to go out of this room for a minute and do some naughty things, and we'll be back, Andy Dick, Drew, me, Stryker on Loveline.

46:26 Stryker Alright guys, here's the deal.

46:28 Stryker You're looking to hook up, sick of wasting time with the wrong person?

46:32 Drew One call is all you need to make.

46:33 Stryker Call the Dateline.

46:34 Stryker 877-889-DATE.

46:36 Adam Call the Dateline.

46:47 This hour brought to you in part by Axe. Experience the Axe Effect.

47:14 Caller Here we are back on Love Line.

47:15 Adam It's 1-800-LOVE-191 if you want to talk to Andy Dick or Drew and ask questions. I'm Stryker hanging in here for Corolla. He comes back from Italy.

47:25 Drew Yeah, what's he doing in Italy?

47:26 Stryker Vacationing. 40th birthday. He's never been to Italy.

47:29 Drew He's what birthday?

47:30 Stryker 40th.

47:31 Drew 40? He's 40 years old. Mm-hmm. Incredible.

47:33 Adam He's getting up there.

47:34 Drew Yep.

47:35 Stryker Ancient.

47:35 Drew I'm right behind him.

47:36 Adam You're not, but you look like 30.

47:39 Drew Oh, thank you. I'm 38, though.

47:41 Adam I know you're close to 40.

47:42 Drew The drugs preserve me.

47:44 Adam I thought drugs make your skin old, Drew.

47:47 Drew Smoking does. Smoking does. Smoking cigarettes is the worst. I've never smoked a cigarette in my life.

47:53 Adam You've never tried one?

47:54 Stryker Nope.

47:54 Drew Seriously. I smoked a pipe once in a play, and I almost vomited.

47:59 Stryker There is a drug that will aid you more quickly. That's speed.

48:01 Adam Because it makes you stay up for so long, right?

48:03 Stryker People look old when they're doing speed.

48:05 Adam Yeah, right. Let's take a call.

48:09 Stryker John, 22. John.

48:12 Stryker Yeah.

48:13 Adam What's up, man? You're on Loveline.

48:14 Stryker Oh, wonderful. How are you guys doing?

48:16 Drew Fantastic.

48:18 Stryker Fantastic. Okay, well, basically, here's the thing. I'd say about four weeks ago, usually when I masturbate, I use like a standard like Luverderm lotion, right?

48:31 Adam What about Astroglide?

48:32 Drew That's the best product. I am sponsored by Astroglide.

48:34 I need to be sponsored by them.

48:35 Drew I can't get you hooked up with them. I have cases of it in my closet right now.

48:39 Adam I have given them more mentions the last two nights in the history of me.

48:42 Drew Astroglide rocks. You know what their motto is? It's something about the consistency. Astroglide's motto is, second only to nature.

48:49 Exactly, that's what it is.

48:51 Adam And the thing washes off in two seconds.

48:52 Drew Two seconds. It's water soluble or whatever. You just flop your PP over the sink and you just rinse it off and it's done. You're out.

49:00 Adam You can use a towel to rinse off or plop it in and flip it with the water.

49:03 Drew Don't leave it on though. Sticky, itchy, gooey mess.

49:07 Adam But not that sticky compared to others. Right.

49:10 Drew Just don't leave it on. It's just too itchy.

49:12 Stryker That's a good segue into my issue, actually.

49:14 Drew What's the issue? Let's hear it. I'm a professional masturbator, so go ahead. Go ahead, caller.

49:20 Stryker We know our own. Now, I regularly use like a Luberderm lotion, very standard, but about four weeks ago, the lotion that I had was Luberderm with SPF 15 in it, and it's the only difference in my masturbating that I've seen that would lead to a problem that I have in that the day after I used it to masturbate, I went to urinate and it was like a horrible stinging, like burning.

49:47 Adam It went inside your wiener, man. Like, if you ever tried it with shampoo in the shower, it'll sting. It's because it gets inside of the hole.

49:54 Drew Yes, yes.

49:55 Stryker You're right, but should that last this long?

49:57 Drew Well, how long has it been now?

49:59 Stryker It still irritates me now.

50:01 Drew And how long?

50:02 Stryker It's been about four weeks.

50:03 Drew Four weeks? Sounds like you've got chlamydia. I had chlamydia once, it was like I was on fire.

50:10 Stryker Right. Well, it's not so much the burning anymore, that's papered off.

50:13 Stryker Pain, pain, pain.

50:14 Stryker It's like itchy. Like the urethra itches.

50:17 Stryker All right, you guys ready?

50:19 Adam Get a water gun and squirt it in the hole and rinse it out.

50:23 Stryker Okay, this is called urethritis, which means inflammation of the urethra. And certainly it started as a chemical urethritis, but sometimes you can get an infection on top of that. And so it may be a continued infectious process like Andy suggests, not necessarily chlamydia, maybe other bacteria, and it needs to be treated with antibiotics.

50:39 Drew Can you sometimes get this same type of situation from your own sperm? Like if I eat, like you know what, because I'll tell you what, I eat a lot of cayenne pepper, I literally take it in capsules, I take more than you probably should.

50:55 Stryker You eat Mexican and you're semen burns?

50:58 Drew Yeah, and does it shoot out fire? How would you know? I've tried it many times.

51:05 Stryker But the cayenne part could do a little something.

51:08 Drew That's what I'm saying.

51:09 Stryker A little something.

51:09 Adam What about the whole pineapple theory?

51:11 Drew Give it a little bite?

51:12 Stryker No, no, and we've, in old days of Loveline, we actually tested that theory and it didn't stand up to scientific scrutiny. What didn't?

51:19 Adam Eating pineapple.

51:21 Drew That didn't stand up.

51:22 Adam I thought that really works though. It sweetens it up a little bit.

51:24 Stryker I think there's only ways to make it.

51:25 Drew The only way that it sweetens it is if you sugar load right on the pineapple and then eat the pineapple with it.

51:33 Don't they have that in a buffet in Beverly Hills, I think? Tasty sweet.

51:38 Adam Is that yogurt?

51:39 All right, where are we going, Drew?

51:40 Stryker To the toilet to vomit.

51:41 Adam Oh, go to four. No, four, four, four, four, four. Charlie, you're 22 on Loveline.

51:46 Caller Yeah, I just wanted to call because I'm having some ambivalent issues with my sexual tendencies because ever since I saw Andy Dick on TV, I think I'm sort of gay.

52:00 Drew You're a big liar. He's bisexual. Yeah. Are you serious?

52:05 Caller Yeah.

52:06 Drew Are you serious?

52:06 Caller It just makes me so mad because all those other actors out there, they're not as good as you and they make all this money and you should be making all this money.

52:13 Adam He's making good money from the sitcom.

52:16 Drew Don't worry. I am driving a Honda Civic home tonight, fully loaded.

52:21 Caller Really? Did you get the hybrid kind?

52:23 Drew Yes.

52:24 Caller You did? See, I'm kind of like a hybrid. I'm like half gas, half electric.

52:28 Adam You're done, Charlie.

52:29 Drew And you're half done.

52:32 Adam You're half done also.

52:32 Drew Half baked.

52:34 Adam Getting out of sitcoms has got to be the best, by the way.

52:36 Drew It's the best.

52:37 Adam Seriously.

52:38 Drew That's why you want to do it.

52:38 Adam I got to start going out to sitcoms. Less than perfect. The best show ever. What?

52:42 Drew It's a good show. Being on a sitcom is so easy, so smooth.

52:45 Adam What is this show about anyways? I work at night so I don't get to see it.

52:47 Drew It's about Sarah Rue's character. She's the offbeat, funny, wacky redhead that doesn't quite fit in to the New York office. Right. And we are her offbeat, wacky coworkers that also don't quite fit in. Oh, wacky things ensue in the office.

53:05 Stryker It's like news radio, except it's going to be in a New York PR office.

53:10 Drew Yeah.

53:13 Stryker No. Will we get Andy Dick and he'll be on the show?

53:15 Drew It's like news radio, but instead of news radio, it's news television. It's like that close to it.

53:22 Adam As soon as you see they need to bring some kid in like me with this thing, call me here and I'll run in. I will.

53:29 Drew If you give me your headshot, I will give it to the cashier. But it's a great cushy, cushy job and I like it, but I still want to be a movie star. And I want to get that guy's number because maybe he wasn't lying. You son of a bitch, you liar.

53:42 Stryker Stephanie 16.

53:44 Stryker I just want to start by saying, Andy Dick, you totally know how to master your crack. If you know what I mean?

53:52 Stryker No, I don't know what you mean.

53:54 Stryker What did she say?

53:54 Stryker He knows how to master his crack.

53:56 Stryker You totally know how to master your crack.

53:59 Drew Oh, I love you. I know what you're saying. It's from the Andy Dick show. It's a very funny bit. That was funny. Master your crack. I remember that. What was that? Kenny Drebson. The character's name was Kenny.

54:14 Stryker You have to do something similar to find your crack, then you've got to learn to master your crack.

54:19 Drew You haven't. How do you have that memorized?

54:20 I have everything memorized.

54:22 Stryker I mean, you're just the funniest. My friends and I would just sit around watching it over and over and over and over.

54:28 Adam That's a girl.

54:28 Drew That is so awesome. But how do you have that on tape?

54:32 Stryker On tape? That was me. I didn't record it.

54:35 Drew No, no, no, I mean, how did where are you watching it is my point.

54:38 Stryker Oh, I'm not watching right now. I just say in general, I tape.

54:41 Drew Oh, you used to watch it. Do you have it on videotape?

54:45 Stryker Yeah.

54:46 Drew Oh, that's awesome.

54:47 Stryker Kenny Drepson was this character that's just like, Um, actually, I taped over it and I tried finding like where I could buy.

54:56 Drew Andy Dick Show. Hopefully this new show called The Assistant. I have no control. And it's just to me, it's a crime. And really, if they would put it out on DVD, I feel I would help them.

55:06 Adam It's like the Ben Stiller DVDs that they put out.

55:08 Drew 10 years later.

55:09 Adam So in 2009, you're in.

55:12 Drew No, worse than that. I was 25. It was like 15 years later. Yeah, no, no. I've got to get it out now. Hopefully this new show, The Assistant, will make MTV wake up and see that a lot of people want the Andy Dick Show on. I can't believe that you know that character is Kenny Drepson Master, your crack. He means your crack like your wisecrack. That's what it's supposed to be, your wisecrack, remember?

55:35 Stryker Oh, I thought it was the funny crack.

55:37 Drew No, I know, I know. That's the thing. The double entendre of your cranny, your asscrack is what it is. I know it's very, very funny.

55:45 Stryker Did you help them come up with it? Did you help them come up with it?

55:48 Drew I can't remember if I came up with that one. I had seven brilliant writers, two of them I saw yesterday because of writing for the movie awards. Yeah, I wrote and directed that whole show.

56:01 Stryker You are a great director, by the way.

56:03 Drew Oh yeah, because you were in it. Dr. Drew.

56:05 Stryker Andy is the best director I've ever seen. He's let you do things a thousand times until it's funny, until it's good.

56:12 Drew And did you ever see you on the show?

56:13 Stryker I saw parts of it. It was funny.

56:14 Drew You are so funny. Remember, he's legally insane.

56:17 Adam Well, Drew is in a hit movie, by the way. You know that, right?

56:20 Caller Drew is in a hit movie. With the Olsen twins.

56:22 Drew With the Olsen twins.

56:24 Caller Is it still out?

56:25 Drew A New York Minute. Well, it came and went in a New York Minute. Wait, she has a legitimate question. We're sorry.

56:34 Stryker When you were doing that one episode with that woman named Belle, the really huge one with the blonde hair, was that a guy or a girl?

56:40 Drew That was my very good friend, Paul Henderson, because he was a fine looking guy. And it's funny because the two writers that I just mentioned wrote that sketch and they went on to write for Letterman, as a matter of fact. Yeah, all my writers went on to do bigger, better things. Good for them. You're welcome.

57:01 Adam I hope you got a Christmas card.

57:02 Stryker Or are we just lying to get on the air?

57:05 Drew Do you have a legitimate question?

57:07 Stryker Yeah, I have a legitimate question.

57:09 Caller My vagina's itchy.

57:12 Drew No, I'm just kidding. I knew it would make her laugh.

57:18 Stryker Go ahead. I had sex a week ago and it was my second time last night and it really hurt, like kind of up, like, I can't really, I don't know how to explain it, but I felt like kind of a burning feeling and like I had to go to the bathroom really bad.

57:36 Stryker You probably go, we're getting, again, we're back to the urethra. Having sex can irritate the urethra and make it an urgency to pee. It also can cause infection, urinary tract infection.

57:47 Drew Yeast infection? Is that what it is?

57:48 Stryker Urinary tract infection. Are you still having some urgency or need to pee all the time?

57:52 Stryker Not right now, but like we had last night for a while it did. And during it, it felt really uncomfortable.

57:58 Stryker So you got to kind of work that out a little bit. You're traumatizing that area sort of unnecessarily. And it can cause bad infection. So if you start hurting again when you pee or start having an urgency to pee.

58:10 Drew Put some salve on your vagina.

58:12 Stryker Get a treat that needs some antibiotics.

58:15 Stryker Dr. Drew, if you get an infection, is it treatable or?

58:21 Drew Everything's treatable.

58:22 Adam Except herpes.

58:23 Stryker Antibiotics. Human herpes are controllable these days. Here is Andy.

58:26 Adam Drew, I have a question about.

58:29 Drew I want to give a shout out to my two friends that just moved into Flores, on Flores, right in the gay neighborhood. They're a young gay couple. They're going to be getting married soon. And congratulations to them.

58:41 Adam Are they going to do it out here?

58:42 Drew Josh and Mark, congratulations.

58:43 Adam What's up, Josh and Mark? Mazel Tov, Josh and Mark. Mazel Tov. Where are they going on their honeymoon?

58:50 Drew I don't know. Up each other's butts.

58:53 Caller I think that's pre-honeymoon, Andrew.

58:56 Stryker Stryker, you had a question?

58:56 Adam Just about yeast infections on girls. Can overly-sexed girls are more apt to get the yeast infection? Really?

59:07 Stryker What?

59:08 Adam Of course they are. I thought that was the case.

59:10 Stryker No. But some women are just prone to it, and almost anything can make a prone woman develop the yeast infection.

59:19 Adam Really?

59:19 Stryker It's just anything that upsets the delicate ecosystem in there.

59:24 Drew Every time, remember Elle, my last girlfriend, she would get a lot of yeast infections, and she always blamed me because we had a lot of sex, and she said it was because of that, so it has nothing to do with having a lot of sex.

59:38 Stryker No, no, no, he was saying that it's women that need to have or wish to have a lot of sex.

59:42 Adam No, no, I'm saying if a girl is having a lot of sex, there are more prone to yeast infections.

59:48 Drew I would say yes, because it gets irritated, chafed, chafed.

59:50 Stryker For some girls, I think that's true, anything that upsets that system.

59:53 Adam How can they prevent it? Right after sex, go to the bathroom?

59:56 Stryker No. First of all, the guy's got to be treated, too, because sometimes you can harbor it in your urethra and keep re-exposing them, and the other thing to do is get some over-the-counter cream, just keep using them.

1:00:07 Drew If God gives you a yeast infection, make bread.

1:00:13 Adam Andy, you're 18, you're on Loveline.

1:00:16 Caller Yeah, what's up?

1:00:16 Adam What's going on?

1:00:17 Drew I wish I was 18 again.

1:00:18 Caller How are you guys doing? Good. Good. All right, I've dated like four girls, not at the same time, but four different girls in the past like nine months or so and like, I don't know, it's all going like fine and stuff in the relationship, but like all of a sudden, like, I don't know, into two weeks or so into the relationship or even like earlier than that, like I'll just break up with them. Like, and I'll get, I don't know, like, I don't know why, just give them a lame ass excuse or something.

1:00:46 Adam But why do you think you do it?

1:00:47 Stryker Why do you think you're gay?

1:00:49 Caller Probably.

1:00:50 Drew No, no. What? Oh, really? Are you maybe?

1:00:56 Caller No, no, I'm not gay.

1:00:57 Drew Oh, you're gay. Do you think of men?

1:01:00 Caller No.

1:01:00 Drew Ever?

1:01:01 Caller No.

1:01:01 Drew What about me?

1:01:03 Caller Of course.

1:01:03 Drew Okay, because I'm an exception. No, but what's the deal? Is this him right here?

1:01:09 Stryker Yeah.

1:01:09 Drew Well, why didn't he mention that?

1:01:11 Stryker I don't know, it says something about your girlfriend dying of cancer up here.

1:01:14 Caller Yeah, that was, I think that could be part of the thing.

1:01:17 Drew Well, that's definitely, I mean, he mentioned Ace Oak.

1:01:20 Adam He was only nine when it happened, though.

1:01:22 Caller What's that?

1:01:22 Adam No, I'm just kidding.

1:01:23 Caller How long ago she had IBC, well, inflammatory breast cancer, she was 16 years old.

1:01:30 Drew How old?

1:01:31 Stryker 16.

1:01:32 Adam I'm sorry, Andy.

1:01:33 Drew That's horrible.

1:01:33 Stryker That is so rare.

1:01:34 Drew Yeah, I am sorry.

1:01:35 Caller Yeah, it's because, I don't know, like the doctor said it was less than 1% chance in all of America because...

1:01:41 Stryker Less than that.

1:01:42 Caller Yeah, because she was so young.

1:01:45 Stryker That's horrible.

1:01:46 Adam So you think you're still hung up on that and that's why you're letting girls go after two weeks?

1:01:50 Caller Well, I don't know, like, I don't know, like...

1:01:54 Drew I think, I think, I think that you need to get into some therapy. I've done so much therapy. At one point, I was hung up on this girl and I had three separate therapists because they wouldn't, I would see them once or twice a day and they would be like, no, I can't see you again. You know, so I got three of them at one time.

1:02:11 Adam Didn't that make you more nuts, hearing responses from different people?

1:02:13 Drew No, I needed to like sleep in a therapist's office. In fact, I would go, I wouldn't sleep at night and I would go and pay for a two hour session just to sleep and they would sit there and just watch me sleep because I felt like there was somebody watching over me. Like you just need to get into some kind of therapy or support, right?

1:02:32 Stryker Absolutely.

1:02:32 Drew His girlfriend died.

1:02:33 Stryker Yeah, yeah, you know, I'm still curious about you though.

1:02:37 Adam Here's $700 for two hours. Can I use your bed?

1:02:40 Drew Did you know that? I mean, literally, I wasn't sleeping at all after L left me.

1:02:45 Stryker Did each of them know?

1:02:46 Drew No, I didn't tell them that I was seeing other therapists.

1:02:50 Stryker Not exactly the best way to approach therapy.

1:02:52 Drew Well, what am I saying? Well, no, because therapists are so different. I was seeing a female therapist and two male therapists.

1:02:59 Stryker And it seemed better the last time I saw you.

1:03:01 Drew Yeah, well, I'm over that girl.

1:03:03 Adam And you are serenity now right now.

1:03:05 Drew Wow. I'm doing good today.

1:03:07 Stryker That's good.

1:03:07 Drew You know how it is. Okay, all right, Eric, see if there, but I would say, I mean, get some kind of support.

1:03:14 Stryker Are you that or maybe start talking about this more? It seems like you're pretty detached from this obvious sort of connection between not being willing to be intimate now and the loss of grief and loss around an intimacy that was something of your first girlfriend.

1:03:26 Drew That's just absolutely horrible. See, my girlfriend didn't die, but she, but our relationship died.

1:03:30 Stryker She killed it. She nearly killed you.

1:03:31 Drew She killed me. Really, I'm surprised I survived that.

1:03:34 Stryker Eric, 22.

1:03:35 Stryker Hey, Dr. Drew, how you doing?

1:03:37 Stryker Eric, we're good.

1:03:39 Stryker Andy Dick, funny guy.

1:03:40 Drew Oh, thank you.

1:03:43 Stryker I've been listening for a while and I know you usually give advice to younger guys who are getting into relationships that if the girl has a lot of chaos going on, a lot of drama and, you know, she creates all these chaotic situations that the guy, you know, a lot of times he doesn't know what he's getting into and he's going to be in for the long haul and everything. And a lot of times you recommend that if they're not ready for, you know, the long haul, that they get out of the relationship.

1:04:07 Stryker I'm particularly concerned when their goal is to fix or change them. That's a bad situation.

1:04:13 Stryker My situation is a little bit different. I've been seeing a girl for about six months now and she's a little bit older than I am. She doesn't have a lot of chaos, but she has a lot of health problems. She has, she was diagnosed with Crohn's disease about four years ago. And last month she was diagnosed with a brain tumor.

1:04:29 Stryker Oh my God.

1:04:30 Stryker And so, you know, obviously there's not that it's her fault, but there's going to be a lot of chaos. There's a lot of things going on.

1:04:35 Stryker But that's not, that's a different kind of chaos that, that, that, I mean, that's a, those are caused by external circumstances that are causing chaos in her life. That's not emotional turmoil that brings chaos to the relationship.

1:04:50 Drew But I know what he's saying.

1:04:51 Stryker He's saying, would I be a bad person, you know, for if, if I don't know if I can stick it out?

1:04:56 Adam Cause you've only been with her for six months.

1:04:57 Drew Just the fact that he's asking that makes me think, see, I had this thought in my own head recently, if, if somebody I was dating got really, really sick, would I just say, I'll see you. I can't hand, I can't hang. Sorry, I'm out. And it would just depend how much I, in love I was with that person.

1:05:14 Stryker It depends on what you can handle and she's got other health problems too, though.

1:05:18 Stryker And it's just, I don't know if I'm going to be able to, you know, if I'm not going to be able to handle it and that's going to make it worse, you know, what other health problems does she have? Well, she has, aside from the Crohn's, her butt stinks.

1:05:30 Stryker She has what? Listen, the thing about Crohn's is your bowels erode to the surface of your abdomen and you get fistulas around your body.

1:05:38 Caller It is a horrible disease.

1:05:41 Stryker And then she, like I said, she was just diagnosed with this brain tumor and it turns out she's also got an apple-sized mason jar.

1:05:49 Stryker All of Eric, it crossed my mind that you could be bogus, but then I went all the way in with you.

1:06:04 Caller Well done.

1:06:05 Stryker And then he says, you guys take it easy. Full respect, man.

1:06:09 Adam I'm taking it easy in here.

1:06:10 Stryker Should we let this go?

1:06:11 Drew The size of the mason jar.

1:06:13 Stryker What would have been worse is if we had said, oh yeah, leave her.

1:06:15 Caller Forget that.

1:06:16 Stryker No, it's just, let me just address that point for a second. Because I sometimes deal with this with older couples and stuff where one is kind of saying, I'm sick and dying, and it may be years before they actually go through that, you stick it in with people you care about. You may need to do things to take care of yourself.

1:06:33 Caller Like go to the strip club.

1:06:34 Drew Maybe start dating someone else.

1:06:37 Stryker Maybe sometimes. For instance, what would you do if, let's say, Andy, you were married to a woman and she got Alzheimer's and she was so demented that she didn't recognize you anymore.

1:06:45 Drew I might get off on that. I think I do the same thing. I think I do the same thing.

1:06:50 Stryker But you know what I mean, you might also say, I care about, I support them, I'm gonna be in their life, but I gotta have some sort of relationship with a human. I would definitely say that.

1:06:59 Drew I would see other people.

1:07:00 Stryker You have to do something.

1:07:01 Drew I would see other people.

1:07:02 Stryker Depends on your values. If you were married, you're married.

1:07:05 Adam Do you let them know you're gonna date?

1:07:06 Drew They don't know you're gonna date. That's hypothetical, because I'm never gonna get married again. Ever.

1:07:12 Adam Oh, you were married.

1:07:12 Stryker Eight is a charm.

1:07:13 Adam How long were you married?

1:07:15 Drew For four years.

1:07:16 Adam How old were you when you got married?

1:07:17 Drew Young, 22.

1:07:18 Stryker How many times were you married?

1:07:19 Drew Once, 20, 22.

1:07:22 Adam Were you rich at the time?

1:07:23 Drew Oh, no.

1:07:23 Adam You hadn't made it yet.

1:07:25 Drew No, I had just dropped out of college.

1:07:28 Adam What college did you go to?

1:07:29 Drew Columbia College in Chicago.

1:07:30 Caller That's a good school.

1:07:32 Drew It's not Columbia University. It's like an inner city.

1:07:35 Stryker Oh, really?

1:07:35 Drew It's like the art institute.

1:07:36 Adam You had a basketball scholarship there?

1:07:39 Stryker Columbia College of Broadcasting.

1:07:42 Adam I think we have to break, is that right? We're gonna take a break. More with Andy Dick and more with you guys calling up the show. Loveline after this.

1:07:48 Caller Loveline. You know, Drew, smelling good is more than a smell. It's an attitude. It is?

1:07:59 Stryker I know how to get that attitude too.

1:08:00 Caller How? Break down.

1:08:01 LX deodorant bodies.

1:08:12 Adam We're back here.

1:08:13 Stryker He's Andy Dick.

1:08:14 Adam This is the Loveline radio show. I'm Stryker for Adam Carolla, Dr. Drew. Andy Dick is here, he's just in the other room. Ran in here just in time. You know we have this huge concert. You were mentioning you like Modest Mouse. Yeah, they're playing at our concert, Weenie Roast, in like a week.

1:08:29 Drew Can I please go?

1:08:30 Adam Yes.

1:08:31 Drew Are you sure?

1:08:31 Adam I'm positive.

1:08:32 Drew Oh, thank you so much.

1:08:35 Adam Oh, yes. Lauren, right there, Lauren.

1:08:36 Drew Lauren, I'll take like five tickets. What? You have to come. Now.

1:08:42 Stryker My kids are into meeting people and I got to sign autographs for them and stuff.

1:08:45 Drew Oh, yeah. How old are your kids now?

1:08:47 Stryker 11, almost 12.

1:08:48 Drew Triplets. Triplets. That's awesome. I just wanted to see the wet pink stick. Well, I don't remember that one. That's one I don't remember.

1:08:59 I remember hearing that thing.

1:09:00 Drew But Modest Mouse is an interesting band because they've been around forever.

1:09:04 I know.

1:09:05 Drew But everybody just found them now. They've been around for like how long? 15 years? Is it that long? I don't think it's been a while.

1:09:11 Adam They got videos on MTV now, which is crazy.

1:09:14 Drew Nine albums.

1:09:16 Adam Amy. Amy.

1:09:19 Caller Amy?

1:09:20 Drew Wake up.

1:09:21 Caller Amy.

1:09:22 Stryker We've been having trouble with this line, though. She may actually be saying something to us. Amy 18 from New Mexico.

1:09:26 Drew We can't hear you, Amy.

1:09:28 Caller She's got a go to four.

1:09:29 She's over it.

1:09:31 Stryker This is Corey 18.

1:09:33 Stryker Hey, what's up?

1:09:34 Caller What's up, buddy?

1:09:35 Caller Not much.

1:09:36 Stryker I just had to get on line and talk to you, Andy.

1:09:38 Caller Uh-uh.

1:09:40 Stryker You all know they said I could, I mean. But I just had to tell him that he has to do everything in his power to get that DVD set for the Andy Dick show going.

1:09:50 Adam You need to send this recording to the MTV Kids, Andy.

1:09:53 Drew You're right. You're right. I'm going to do that to Brian Grayden, the president.

1:09:57 Stryker My roommate and I were just going to say that the funniest sketch hands down is the Hellacious A one.

1:10:04 Drew Because Jack Black and Kyle were on it. That's awesome. So funny.

1:10:08 Stryker I crack up.

1:10:09 Stryker I like, we'll sit there and like, we'll just afford for it.

1:10:11 Stryker There's definitely a crack theme into your show. Manage your crack.

1:10:17 Drew You know, Jack Black and Kyle Gass come on and-

1:10:20 Stryker You stole KG. That's hilarious.

1:10:22 Drew Right. And they do Tenacious D. And then I talked Kyle Gass into joining me and ditching Jack and we start a new band, Hellacious A, and it's just pathetic and it's actually very, very funny.

1:10:36 Stryker And like looking into each other's eyes longingly at the end, that's classic comedy.

1:10:40 Drew Yes, yes, it's gay love all the way.

1:10:43 Adam Cool, let's go to-

1:10:44 Drew Thank you so much.

1:10:45 Adam Mike, 21.

1:10:47 Drew Dr. Drew cut you off, sorry.

1:10:49 Adam Yeah, Drew is clipped at the finger right there.

1:10:50 Drew He doesn't like when people compliment me.

1:10:51 Adam Drew, your book Cracked was the best book ever.

1:10:56 Drew Yeah, that book was good, by the way. Dr. Drew has a book called Cracked, which is about addiction and- Treating addicts. Which is an expert.

1:11:04 Adam And you have a lot of skits about the crack. So it's like you guys go hand in hand kind of.

1:11:08 Stryker We were meant to be together, Andy.

1:11:09 Drew Yes. I know. Well, you're my unofficial doctor, that's what I tell everybody.

1:11:12 Stryker I'm your doctor friend.

1:11:13 Drew If I really do have a problem, I call you.

1:11:15 Stryker I know that.

1:11:16 Drew I paid you, you call me back and you say, put some salve on it.

1:11:20 Stryker Sometimes I say that. I'm going to get the penicillin out for you.

1:11:26 Drew It's never been that dangerous.

1:11:27 Stryker It's never been that easy either, I assure you.

1:11:30 Drew Remember that one time some guy came in here and he had, it was in the old studio.

1:11:34 Stryker I had to go check him out.

1:11:35 Drew Yeah, you had to go check him in the other room and I said, I want to see it.

1:11:39 Adam He ain't the only one that's done that.

1:11:41 Stryker I told you it happens all the time.

1:11:42 Drew There was like something really wrong with him.

1:11:45 Stryker Brewing. Something was brewing.

1:11:46 Drew It looked like it just didn't look right.

1:11:48 Adam But you know what's scary when he looks because someone I know works here, had it done, someone I know, he has these glasses, he gets really close to it.

1:11:56 Drew He's like.

1:11:56 Stryker I know, I take the glasses off.

1:11:58 Drew He looked at your penis.

1:11:59 Adam No, my friends.

1:12:00 Drew Are you making quotes?

1:12:02 Adam No, I'm not.

1:12:03 Drew What is this? He looked at your penis. What was wrong with your penis?

1:12:06 Adam Nothing was wrong.

1:12:07 Drew Stryker.

1:12:07 Adam Nothing is wrong with it or was wrong. Nothing was or is. And I can swear, if anyone listening, nothing's wrong with it.

1:12:13 Stryker He just was trying to get the.

1:12:15 Adam Back me, Drew.

1:12:15 Drew All the girls at the con.

1:12:17 Stryker Why would I know? Why would I know if anything's wrong with it or not?

1:12:22 Adam That's what I'm saying, because I've never shown it.

1:12:24 Caller You killed it for both of you.

1:12:28 Drew You dick. No, but nothing's wrong with it now, because Dr. Drew took care of it.

1:12:33 Nothing's been wrong with it.

1:12:34 Drew Okay, but you thought something was.

1:12:35 Adam No, I did not.

1:12:36 Drew You just had a. Shaping. Okay, I'll take a call. There's people suffering out there.

1:12:45 Adam I had a gay man call me on the air tonight and asked me to be more personal tonight. So there it is.

1:12:50 Drew Be more personable.

1:12:52 Adam No, per speak more.

1:12:53 Drew Like more personable. Or be more personal, like tell people. Yeah, you should. I got nothing to hide.

1:13:00 Adam I'm healthy as a horse. Seriously.

1:13:01 Drew Yeah, you look like a horse with that mane. He's got a faux hawk.

1:13:04 Stryker Just worried about you.

1:13:05 Adam It's getting high, thanks.

1:13:06 Stryker Mike, 21.

1:13:08 Stryker Hey, what's going on?

1:13:09 Drew We're good, what's up, man?

1:13:10 Adam Achieving.

1:13:11 Drew Yeah.

1:13:12 Stryker Back about four years ago, three years ago, I was 17, took a lot of LSD and I smoked a lot of weed. And now up to this day, I'm 21 now. And up to this day, every time I smoke weed, I have a panic attack. That's cool. Because when I stopped taking LSD, the reason I stopped is because I had a bad trip.

1:13:38 Stryker Yeah, that's good.

1:13:39 Stryker The next day, I smoked a bowl and I felt like I was having a bad trip again, you know what I mean?

1:13:45 Stryker Yeah, and maybe that's now been sort of a conditioned response in your brain, you think?

1:13:50 Stryker Yeah, I was just thinking it was because it was just all in my head because, you know what I mean? Because, well, I got a bad temper.

1:13:57 Stryker Well, it's what you call a conditioned response. You sort of couple the stimulus with the response.

1:14:03 Drew Don't use such big words with him.

1:14:04 Stryker I know, I'm trying to think of how to explain him.

1:14:06 Drew Like it's with the dog, where when you feed a dog and you ring a bell, you feed a dog and you ring a bell, you feed a dog and you ring a bell, and then the dog gets used to the fact that every time it eats, it hears a bell, and then you take the food away, but you still ring a bell, the dog literally will start salivating in the mouth even though there's no food there.

1:14:27 Stryker These are sort of conditioning responses, which maybe you're having that sort of thing. That's Pavlovian conditioning, classical conditioning. But I'll tell you what, we don't fully understand these things, Mike. There's absolutely no doubt that using LSD can cause panic and depression. I have also seen marijuana do that. I've seen not so much, eventually everyone gets depression from pot, but I've seen people get severe panic even after the first few exposures to pot and have panic attacks the rest of their life after that. I know it's rare, but I've seen it. Yeah, I've absolutely seen it.

1:14:53 Drew You're the one that told me, you might want to hear this caller. Dr. Drew told me that the newest research on drugs is that marijuana could be the sneakiest and most dangerous of all.

1:15:06 Stryker Oh yeah, it's really a tough one. Really tough. And I feel very sorry for people that get, you know.

1:15:13 Drew I've smoked so much pot.

1:15:15 Stryker And for people that love it, you love it.

1:15:17 Drew I love it. I know how good it can be for me.

1:15:20 Adam But you're good at not doing it now.

1:15:22 Stryker Well, you have to work.

1:15:23 Drew I work very hard and the most time I've ever had is three years sobriety, and that's a long damn time for somebody like me.

1:15:31 Stryker In a way, Mike has an advantageous situation because he has aversive response to it. The problem is he sounds depressed. He's an addict and he's not treated. He needs to do something with all that.

1:15:42 Drew If he has panic attacks, why does he even want to smoke it?

1:15:45 Stryker Because he's hooked. Because he's an addict. He likes it. He keeps trying. I guess I want to crack addicts keep going out on binges. Neil, 16.

1:15:58 Stryker I'm going out with this 19 year old, and it's caused me a lot of things. Like previously, I dated a 19 year old, and-

1:16:09 Adam How are you getting all this action from 19 year olds?

1:16:11 Drew Well, you sound older. You sound old for your age.

1:16:13 Stryker He lives in Alaska.

1:16:14 Caller Well-

1:16:15 Drew You do? Are you dating an ass salmon?

1:16:18 Caller What? Well, okay. I get along a lot better with older people, and I think high school girls are kind of, I don't know how to say, and they don't put out as much as the 19-year-olds. What?

1:16:32 Adam And they don't put out as much as the 19-year-olds.

1:16:34 Drew Where's the age of consent list?

1:16:36 Stryker Okay, I'll be honest, the last relationship I was in, when I was 15, it was not your old.

1:16:41 Stryker It was very sexual.

1:16:43 Stryker But this new one, it's not sexual at all, because, I don't know, it's not like it anymore. But the problem is, when I was 15 and I dated this girl, my dad found out her rich, and I was lying about it, and it caused a lot of problems with her, with us, me and my dad. And I don't know, I just wanna know, do you guys think it's okay for a 16 year old to date a 19 year old?

1:17:09 Drew Well, it's legal in Alaska. I'm looking at the-

1:17:12 Stryker It's legal, and I can understand why your parents would be upset. They're just trying to look out for your best interests.

1:17:17 Adam If this is something you're gonna look back on and just pat yourself on the back that you're doing this.

1:17:21 Drew It's legal, just so you know, it is legal in Alaska. Is it? Yeah, right here, 16, 16, and 16.

1:17:27 Stryker Well, I mean, people give me a lot of calls like when I told them my girlfriend's 19.

1:17:38 Stryker Uh-oh, he's got a phone cut out.

1:17:41 Adam Damn, well, he's in Alaska.

1:17:43 Drew He's in an igloo ice fishing.

1:17:46 Stryker Anyway, it's something about those girls too, undoubtedly. The family's also sort of seeing them as maybe unsavory influences on them.

1:17:52 Adam Hold on, what is the, now, what was this?

1:17:53 Stryker 16 is the age of consent in Alaska.

1:17:55 Adam But how old do you have to be? I mean, over 18 then. 19 can go without the 16 year old, right?

1:18:00 Stryker Yes.

1:18:01 Adam Damn.

1:18:02 Stryker Well, listen, these age of consents thing don't specify how old the perpetrator is. You could be 15 if you were the 16 year old.

1:18:08 Adam I thought there was a 10 year window. If you have to be less than 10, as long as they're in Alaska, at least 17.

1:18:13 Drew The weird thing here, the weirdest thing about this age of consent is New Mexico, man and woman consent is 17, but man on man or woman on woman is 13.

1:18:27 Stryker What?

1:18:28 Drew Ooh, that's odd. So it doesn't seem right at all.

1:18:31 Stryker That seems worse to me. Of course it's worse. That is, I mean, I mean worse in the sense that those, but just-

1:18:36 Drew Who's the mayor of Mexico? Because something's wrong with him.

1:18:39 Stryker New Mexico.

1:18:40 Drew It's New Mexico.

1:18:41 Stryker It was right there.

1:18:43 Adam Alice, 19.

1:18:44 Stryker The point is the age of consent should be the age of consent because kids can, kids are adults, sufficiently developed that they can render consent. And whether it's male, male, female, female, or male, female, it should be the same. Alice, what's up?

1:18:56 Stryker Well, I was the last of my friends to start using drugs when I was 16. And I was also the first to stop. And when I stopped, I lost all my friends, like every single one of them, even the ones that didn't use drugs. And I was treated for depression and post-traumatic stress disorder. But now I can't seem to make friends anymore. It's like all the friends that I make are guys who are not interested in me and in being my friend. They're more interested in like sleeping with me or even though I have a boyfriend.

1:19:32 Adam How old are you, 19?

1:19:33 Stryker 19.

1:19:34 Adam Ah, well, the guys you're meeting, 19, I don't know if they're looking for, especially when they meet, are you attractive?

1:19:39 Stryker Um, I think so.

1:19:41 Stryker She has to be.

1:19:42 Adam Yeah, well, that's why the guys don't want to just be your friend.

1:19:45 Stryker That's the liability of being attractive at 19. Again, as I mentioned earlier this evening, men at that age are under the influence of an extremely powerful drug, testosterone. And they can't help themselves. I mean, they can, but their natural biological imperative is I gotta be with this woman. So to be a friend is very difficult for them. And even then, the friendship will be colored by that drive for sex, I'm sure. You gotta find people that it's gonna be hard, maybe some more girlfriends, people that you maybe work on a project in common with, some sort of, something you're interested in, some sort of, you know, hobby or something where you...

1:20:19 Adam Go to shows, go to some musical shows.

1:20:21 Stryker Yeah, and even then, the guys, if they want to have sex, will be able to contain that sufficiently on behalf of the shared values you have, doing something together.

1:20:28 Adam Now, how come if you have a boyfriend, you're looking for other guys to hang out with, even though it's just gonna be friendly?

1:20:33 Stryker Actually, it's just like friends that, cause I graduated two years ago.

1:20:37 Stryker But why not more girlfriends?

1:20:38 Adam Right.

1:20:40 Stryker Well, the only girlfriend that I had got pregnant.

1:20:45 Stryker Why not more girlfriends?

1:20:46 Stryker Oh, I don't, well, first of all, my boyfriend tries to get me to meet girls and all his friends are like pregnant and they have their...

1:21:00 Stryker Alice, here's the deal.

1:21:01 Adam Why aren't you, hold on, why aren't you seeking out more girls on your own to be friends with? And then you'd have a nice circle.

1:21:07 Stryker And if you aren't into girls and don't get along with them, that's an appropriate answer.

1:21:10 Stryker Yeah, I usually don't get along with them.

1:21:12 Stryker Right. And what kind of abuse did you go through growing up?

1:21:15 Stryker Um, actually when I was five, I saw my grandfather rape my cousin.

1:21:20 Stryker Fantastic. What a great, I hope he's burning in hell right now. So Alice saw it?

1:21:25 Drew Yeah. Seeing somebody get abused is worse than getting abused.

1:21:28 Stryker Well, it's very similar.

1:21:30 Drew I hear it's worse, whether it's physical, it's worse because when you're getting hit, your body can kind of process it or whatever, but if you see it, it's just worse. It's mentally scarring.

1:21:41 Stryker Interesting. But Alice, here's the deal. It's a big trauma. You've had lots of stuff in your life and the fact that you are a victim makes you continue to be a good victim to people that are victimizers, which may be why some of these guys are circling it around you. You've got to give women a chance. You've got to pick women and trust that they can be friends.

1:21:58 Drew She's got to get into therapy, too. I've been in so much therapy. What's her name again?

1:22:03 Stryker You sleep in therapy.

1:22:04 Drew I should.

1:22:05 You did.

1:22:06 Drew I did. Yes.

1:22:08 Adam You napped.

1:22:08 Drew I really did.

1:22:10 Stryker Nap therapy.

1:22:11 Caller I needed it. I just needed it.

1:22:12 Adam You think that helps a lot, though?

1:22:13 Drew I needed sleep therapy. It helped me. It helped me stay alive. That's good. What's wrong with the coffee? It's just bad.

1:22:20 Adam That's funny. You never do that when you're at my house, too.

1:22:23 Drew What's bad about coffee?

1:22:25 Adam Drew, you are just something going nutty with it. Try it, Andy.

1:22:29 Stryker No, no, it's not bad milk. It's bad. Just taste it. Radio has just notoriously bad coffee.

1:22:48 Drew I don't know. That's all I have. What do you mean, that's all you have?

1:22:51 We need you back on the drugs. Come on.

1:22:55 Drew I'm afraid there's something wrong with it.

1:22:56 Stryker I just drank a bunch.

1:22:58 Drew I'm going to wait ten seconds, ten minutes to see if we get something. Oh, hey, let me take a bong hit.

1:23:04 Adam Speaking of it, we're going to take a hit, a break.

1:23:07 Stryker Yeah, let's do it.

1:23:07 Drew Another break.

1:23:08 Adam We're going to run for just a second. You guys, we'll be back talking more to you on Loveline. Andy Dick is here. Hold on.

1:23:14 Drew I like cream in my cup.

1:23:16 Stryker Loveline. My hair, my hair. We'll be right back.

1:23:29 Adam Loveline, we are back. Andy Dick is here. I'm Stryker and Dr. Drew.

1:23:34 Drew Big Modest Mouse fan.

1:23:36 Adam Yes, a week from Saturday.

1:23:37 Drew Every day I listen to that season.

1:23:39 Adam Really?

1:23:39 Stryker Every day. Couldn't come over to the House of Pain thing for me, though.

1:23:46 Stryker I don't shop for this place, please.

1:23:48 Adam You're talking about Jump Around? Wait, are you talking about a line in the House of Pain Jump Around song? Which line is it?

1:23:54 Stryker I got backhand like John McEnroe.

1:23:56 Caller I got backhand like John McEnroe. That beat steps up, I'm smacking the hole.

1:24:03 Adam Andy is on TV, by the way. He's been on TV for years. Always on a hit sitcom, it seems. Less Than Perfect, ABC, Tuesdays at 9.30. Have you been on a sitcom that didn't get picked up?

1:24:14 Drew I was on a sitcom that I dropped out of. I was on a Tom Arnold sitcom that I don't think went, but I didn't either. I said no to that. Then I was on a very short-lived sitcom, The New Gets Smart, remember that? I was The New Gets Smart. I was Don Adams' son. And Don Adams and Barbara Felden were both in it, and they were my parents. I was The New Gets Smart. Six episodes, that didn't work out too well. Then I was on another one, same producers of Less Than Perfect did one called Go Fish with Lil Kieran Culkin, Macaulay Culkin's brother. And that was another six episode flop. Although it was pretty funny. It had Joe Flaherty from SCTV. And then I played the wacky drama teacher. And then there's been a few others I can't think of.

1:25:06 Adam At least six of them though. Some people get one and like no where to anymore.

1:25:10 Drew Yeah, I'm very, my TV queue is way the hell up there. So yeah.

1:25:16 Adam That's good. All right Drew, should we go to Matt on two?

1:25:19 Stryker No, Tiffany on five.

1:25:21 Adam You've been working here longer. What's up Tiffany, you're 15.

1:25:24 Stryker Yeah, hi. I just feel I need your guys' opinion about this guy. I'm kind of dating. Like we haven't gone on a date, but.

1:25:32 Drew Tiffany in Tucson, go ahead.

1:25:33 Adam Oh, Tucson, that's my old stomping ground.

1:25:37 Stryker How can you be dating and not gone on a date?

1:25:39 Stryker Well, I don't know.

1:25:40 Drew I was just in Tucson.

1:25:41 Stryker Like we're not dating, but we were supposed to go on a date, but he never called. But we went out before and then he broke up because of his reasons.

1:25:50 Stryker What were his reasons?

1:25:52 Stryker Well, he called me like last Friday and just gave me an explanation.

1:25:56 Stryker And it kind of went along with why he did, because.

1:25:59 Stryker Why don't you share that with us?

1:26:02 Stryker He just said like, sorry.

1:26:10 Drew I just did a show at the Congress Hotel with the 80s band Phonic Subdivision, by the way. Did you go to that, Tiffany?

1:26:16 Stryker Oh, no, I didn't.

1:26:19 Drew Yeah, I think it was all ages. There was a 16-year-old band.

1:26:21 Adam When I was living in Tucson, no doubt played at Club Congress. Are you serious? It was so great.

1:26:25 Drew Are you serious? How long ago was that?

1:26:28 Adam That was like in 90-something or other.

1:26:30 Drew They weren't big yet.

1:26:31 Adam No.

1:26:31 Drew Very small.

1:26:32 Adam Just a girl just started getting play on the radio.

1:26:35 Drew So that my band has a chance. That's right.

1:26:37 Adam He just broke the pen. You're going to have to pay for that.

1:26:42 Drew Tiffany, go ahead.

1:26:43 Stryker He just said that these two girls were nagging him on going out with him. And so he didn't feel comfortable cheating on me. So he broke up with me and went out with them.

1:26:53 Stryker And so he called me out of nowhere last Friday.

1:26:57 And he says that he wants me to forgive him.

1:27:01 Stryker So I forgive him and stuff because I really liked him. I've liked him for like three years.

1:27:04 Stryker How old is this guy?

1:27:07 Stryker He's 16.

1:27:09 Drew He's just playing.

1:27:10 Stryker He's an ass.

1:27:10 Drew He's just playing all the ladies. Men like to have lots and lots and lots and lots and lots of different women.

1:27:16 Stryker What is the matter with you, Tiffany?

1:27:17 Drew He's just playing all of this crap. He's probably super hot, is he?

1:27:21 Stryker Well, he kind of is, but he hasn't had sex yet.

1:27:27 Stryker That's good. At least he unleashed all that upon female kind.

1:27:31 Stryker Yeah, he's kind of really shy, so.

1:27:33 Adam Tiffany, blow him off. And you know what? He's going to come, I bet, calling you once you start not giving him the attention.

1:27:38 Stryker Yeah, but you can't go out with this guy.

1:27:40 Drew This guy is all over the map.

1:27:42 Stryker Yeah, that's not somebody you want to go out with.

1:27:44 Adam Tiffany, where do you go to school? Samino or Tucson High?

1:27:47 Caller I know, I go to Rincon.

1:27:49 Adam Rincon, OK.

1:27:50 Drew If you do go out, it's just going to be a fling. You just have to know that take it for what it is. It's just a fun little thing. You don't get attached to him.

1:27:57 Stryker She can't do that. She's infatuated with him. You just need to get out.

1:28:01 Drew Yeah, and trust me, I know about addictions of the heart.

1:28:04 Stryker Matt 22, you'll end up sleeping in therapist's office. Matt 22.

1:28:08 Caller Yeah, how are you doing, guys?

1:28:09 Stryker You're good. Good.

1:28:11 Stryker Good. My question is, I've been dating a girl for about a year now, on and off, we are, we work very well together. When we're at school, things are perfect. When we get home, everything changes. She pulls away, withdraws from pretty much everything, socially, with me especially. And I just wanted your opinion on kind of what you guys thought might be an issue here.

1:28:34 Stryker What do you mean when you go home? Are you going to go home to the same town?

1:28:36 Stryker College? Yeah, yeah, we're both from Orange County.

1:28:39 Stryker And then where do you go to school?

1:28:40 Stryker University of Arizona. She probably.

1:28:42 Adam Yeah, Arizona, that's where I went, Matt.

1:28:44 Stryker Oh, Tucson, KFMA. Hi, guys out there. Easy, Drew.

1:28:47 Adam I got to give the love.

1:28:48 Drew You went everywhere.

1:28:49 Stryker Yeah, I was actually at your guys' show, speaking of.

1:28:52 Drew You were? Wasn't that great?

1:28:54 Stryker It was a great show. I enjoyed it very much.

1:28:57 Drew Thank you. The Phonic subdivision at the Congress Hotel. Yes, thank you very much. I was going to say that, what was he saying? Oh, you know what? My first thought is that this girl might have. Somebody at home. A past boyfriend at home. And that is very common.

1:29:13 Stryker That's actually not an issue. At first, that's what I thought. But I know that's not the issue.

1:29:18 Drew How do you know that girl? People are very good liars.

1:29:22 Stryker She's actually a good friend with my brother. And they kind of roll in the same group.

1:29:27 Stryker So what is the issue? They roll?

1:29:29 Drew Maybe she's just, for some reason, I don't know why. But maybe she's kind of embarrassed that she's going out with you.

1:29:34 Caller Yeah, that's possible.

1:29:36 Drew Why would she be? Why would she be?

1:29:39 Stryker There's no reason for it. I don't know. I don't know. And that's why I called you guys, because I just wanted an opinion that might.

1:29:46 Stryker Your brother, who's such close friends with her, who knows what she's not doing, doesn't know what she is doing?

1:29:51 Stryker Oh, no. Because she doesn't really talk about it. She pretty much hangs out with her parents and her sister.

1:29:57 Adam Maybe when she's home, she wants to escape what's going on at school a little bit and wants to give in for her family.

1:30:02 Stryker Is there something, is there anything about you that might be upsetting to their family, different races or different religion or anything like that?

1:30:09 Stryker No, her mom has actually made it very clear that I'm one to hold on to.

1:30:13 Adam Why don't you start going out with her mom?

1:30:18 Stryker Her stepdad might not like that so much.

1:30:21 Drew I don't know.

1:30:22 Stryker It doesn't make sense.

1:30:23 Drew Just ask her, just sit her down.

1:30:26 Stryker And I have asked her and I just, it's one of these situations where it's not able just to kind of work through it.

1:30:32 Stryker She doesn't tell you?

1:30:34 Stryker Not at all. And that's the problem. At school, we talk about everything. We hear nothing.

1:30:40 Stryker And how long are you home for?

1:30:42 Stryker I'm home for the summer.

1:30:43 Stryker And she is too?

1:30:43 Stryker So we go to school together. So yes, yes.

1:30:46 Adam Well, you got about two more months of poor things. That's what I'm thinking.

1:30:49 Stryker It would make things a lot simpler in this situation, huh?

1:30:53 Drew Do you ever think about men?

1:30:55 Stryker Not at all.

1:30:57 Drew Hello, my name is Andy Dick. I'm a man, but sometimes I'm a woman. No, come on. I don't wanna give you anything that you're gonna repeat when Adam's here. They already have it.

1:31:11 Stryker Shoot. This is not making sense. You need more information. She's not being honest with you. It would be very disturbing. I think, is she asking to break up or anything? Does she say, why don't we say that?

1:31:23 Stryker No, she's made it very clear that that's not what she wants to do.

1:31:26 Stryker So what is her explanation?

1:31:27 Adam Maybe you're reading this differently than what's going on.

1:31:29 Stryker She's saying that she needs time to figure out her own life.

1:31:32 Stryker Yeah, what does that mean?

1:31:35 Stryker That's a good question.

1:31:36 Stryker That means she wants to date other people. She's BSing you. She's got to listen, she's got to be clearer. She's not giving you the honest truth about what's going on here. And if she doesn't know herself, then she has to sit and figure it out with you or by herself and then tell you exactly what's going on. It's very unfair to be pushing it back on you and making it your problem when you're just going along. And if there's a problem in the relationship, that's fine. At least you'll know that she's not happy and maybe there needs to be a change.

1:32:00 Adam And there's many, many hot ass girlies that go to U of A and they all hang out at the O'Malley's and the Dirt Bags and should listen to KFMA. All right, we gotta take a break. We got one little talk and it's not gonna be that long, but Andy Dick is here and he's a fine gentleman and more violins from Anderson coming up on Loveline.

1:32:20 Caller Alright guys, bottom line here's the deal.

1:32:22 Caller Looking to hook up? Sick of wasting time with the wrong person?

1:32:25 Caller One call is all you need to make.

1:32:27 Adam Call the dateline.

1:32:28 Stryker 877-889-DATE.

1:32:34 Caller Love Lines with Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew.

1:32:36 Caller 1-800-LOVE-191.

1:32:41 Caller This hour brought you apart by...

1:32:49 Adam Have fun to do it, and thank you so much, Andy Dick. Man, you are a pleasure to have.

1:32:54 Drew You are awesome.

1:32:55 Stryker This was very, very fun.

1:32:57 Drew You're very good. The Assistant, please watch the new MTV show.

1:33:00 Adam It's gonna be on in July, right?

1:33:01 Drew Yeah, July 12th, I think.

1:33:03 Stryker You were clipped.

1:33:04 Drew Just check my, yeah, you're clipped. Check my website, andydick.com, for more info.

1:33:08 Adam Can I check it when I'm done here in about 10 seconds from now?

1:33:11 Drew You can whack to it.

1:33:12 Adam I've already done that. Now what do I do to it?

1:33:15 Drew Whoa! That was a small load, buddy.

1:33:17 Adam All right, so for Andy Dick, watch a show that asses Dick, MTV, Dr. Drew, I'm Stryker. Talk to you tomorrow with Everlast on the show, Loveline.

1:33:25 Drew Goodbye.

1:33:41 Caller The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or this station. The producer for Loveline is Annie Gold. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

1:34:29 Adam Yeah, yeah, yeah.

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Wednesday, June 2, 2004