Episode 1000615753761

1:03 It's Loveline.

1:04 Voiceover That's Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Dr. Drew, board certified physician, addiction medicine specialist. Nelly Furtado is here tonight. A breath of fresh air. I'm a big fan. And she's bubbly. I don't remember you. You're really in a great mood tonight.

1:27 Nelly Furtado Really?

1:28 Adam Are you always this way?

1:28 Nelly Furtado Yeah, quite often.

1:30 Adam I don't remember you being this vivacious. I don't remember you weren't a bummer. You were just kind of normal. And I don't mean that in a bad, insulting way now.

1:40 Nelly Furtado Self-conscious. I'm a mother now. I'm jubilant.

1:42 Adam Are you? What about the postpartum depression?

1:46 Nelly Furtado No, but see, but I have the career to balance it out.

1:49 Oh, they get manic.

1:50 Adam Oh, they get mad.

1:51 Nelly Furtado No.

1:51 Adam Well, if you're going to bottom out, don't do it during the show. I like the happy Nelly Furtado.

1:56 Nelly Furtado No, I still get to perform, so I got an outlet.

1:59 Adam Yeah, now, how much, do you love performing? Like, let me ask you a question. I think most performers would love to perform once every fill in the blank, you know, two weeks, but 28 days in a row, it starts to become a grind or not.

2:16 Nelly Furtado Yeah, it's hard sometimes. Sometimes those days you get up and you're just tired, like you're just tired. But I don't know, I just finished this short US tour. I played the Avalon last night here in LA and I, which used to be the, some other room, it just changed the name. The Palace. The Palace, okay, thank you, thank you for that. But I don't know, lately I just, I really find the energy in the fans. I have like really energetic, crazy ass electric fans and I just, you put it out, you get it back. But of course, yes, some days you're tired and you're like, how am I gonna move my legs and jump? Cause I'm kind of like a little, you know, bumblebee on stage. I really buzz around and do lots of things, so.

2:57 Adam I imagine your fans probably a little more, I mean, civil than your average fan. A smarter, higher IQ.

3:05 Nelly Furtado Yeah, they're pensive, I would say. They're thoughtful. Yeah, they are. They're thoughtful fans. They get passionate and they're into it when they're there.

3:16 Adam No, there's a difference, like doing the man show.

3:20 Drew Oh, those fans, ah. Hey, Joe, here's the man show, dude.

3:26 Adam And they just call it, hey, man show.

3:28 I'll meet you in the shot.

3:31 Adam Yeah, you can have a hole fans, too.

3:34 Nelly Furtado Yeah, or just, it depends. Sometimes people go crazy, like, start fighting. For some strangers, on my last tour, it was the Burn in the Spotlight tour, and girls started fighting during it. And I'm like a bird, like it happened in three or four cities, where I guess maybe people have too much to drink and they'd get close to the front or maybe argue about their spot.

3:51 Adam Well, it's interesting.

3:52 Nelly Furtado Or they would pee.

3:53 Adam When I pee?

3:54 Nelly Furtado One or A or B.

3:58 Adam When it comes in the set, because I'm like a bird probably comes toward the end of the night, right?

4:02 Nelly Furtado Yeah, then, yeah.

4:04 Drew They don't want to miss the song.

4:05 Adam They've been juiced up, they got to urinate, no one wants to go anywhere.

4:09 Drew Yeah, just let it go.

4:10 Adam Yeah, and plus it's the kind of song you play, you know, it's a scramping song. I mean, it makes you want to scram. Women Fighting, by the way, had some sort of renaissance, and not really renaissance, it maybe didn't exist before.

4:24 Drew No, no, it's back.

4:25 Adam It's back, where was it? It's back.

4:28 Drew It wasn't in the circles that you traveled with.

4:31 Adam Drew, you saw girls fighting back in the day? Really, over you?

4:35 Drew No.

4:36 Adam But Nelly, you can see why a couple of ladies may want to duke it out over the blue man.

4:41 Nelly Furtado Yes, yes, yes, definitely. Very smooth.

4:45 Adam Nelly's gonna be on Jay Leno tonight, by the way.

4:48 Nelly Furtado Oh yeah.

4:49 Adam And you did that today, right?

4:51 Nelly Furtado Yeah, today, yeah.

4:52 Adam How'd that go?

4:53 Nelly Furtado Great, yeah. This is my fifth time on the show, believe it or not, and it's always fun.

5:00 Adam Is it?

5:00 Nelly Furtado Always.

5:01 Adam Does your crowd, like sometimes when people play these shows, their crowds will come out and fill the audience.

5:07 Nelly Furtado Right.

5:08 Adam And then sometimes you get that crappy Leno audience, just a bunch of people vacationing from Idaho. Who's Poojie, and you know, they're talking, they're talking to relatives back in Boise. Who was on, Nelly Furtado, she's one of them singer gals.

5:26 Nelly Furtado I think she's Puerto Rican.

5:27 Adam I think her name is Nelly, Selly, Shelly.

5:30 I think she's Mexican.

5:35 Adam She needs to go back to her own country and leave her guitar, so you can't get those people. Yeah, thank you. Wow, it's really, it's really good.

5:44 Nelly Furtado I don't know, I think there was like Jake Gyllenhaal teenagers or something. No, just kidding, I don't know. There was an actor on it, and a boxer tonight.

5:52 Adam Who was on?

5:52 Nelly Furtado It's gonna be fun.

5:53 Adam Who was on? Oscar De La Hoya?

5:55 Nelly Furtado Jake Gyllenhaal, and the guy that beat, Oh, one of the Clitchcoats. Roy, Roy James. That guy, Travers? Travers?

6:04 Adam Yeah, yeah, I'm gonna, Why do I remember that? I'm gonna come up with his name in one second. Yeah.

6:09 Nelly Furtado And no, it was great. It's on tonight. I mean, we'll catch it. But yeah, it was fun. And when I spilt some water on the ground during soundtrack, it reminded me of your cup demonstration on your show that you used to have.

6:21 Adam Well, it's an interesting, interesting that you brought that up, because I gotta tell you, I forget most of the things I do. Although I am impressed with them at the time, I'm never impressed with them enough to remember them. But one time we were talking, this was a Loveline the TV show, and I guess it's an episode Nelly caught. And I thought of it just this afternoon, because what happened was is I got this cup of coffee from like Starbucks or something, it was spilling, it was, it kept leaking out of the thing. And I was amazed at what a mess it made, just a few drops. And people would call our show all the time, this is MTV's Loveline, but this show too. And they would say, I have orgasmic incontinence, or like I squirt when I have an orgasm. This is women. And you're like, well, how much comes out? And they're like, oh, gallon, half gallon or something. And they're like a ton. I mean, it's a, it's a mess. It takes up the whole bed. And I just remember, this is the only time I was glad we're on TV. I said, look, everybody, see this cup of coffee? It's, you know, it's a half inch from the top. Now watch, I'm going to spill out a quarter inch. And I slopped about a quarter inch out onto the coffee table. And that quarter inch made a big mess. And I thought if that was on your bed, you'd be humiliated yet only translate a couple of teaspoons of actual material.

7:34 Nelly Furtado That's right.

7:35 Adam And for some reason, while my coffee was spilling today, I was staring at it while sitting in its own mess on the desk. And I thought, yeah, I remember doing that on the show. That was a good one.

7:47 Nelly Furtado Changed in urban legend right there.

7:50 Adam And then Nelly came in and brought that one up immediately.

7:54 Nelly Furtado It was a true TV moment.

7:56 Drew Really, it was very similar to when Gilligan hit Ginger with a coconut to turn her back to herself.

8:02 Adam The Great Magnet, Drew, has been working overtime lately. Yeah.

8:07 Drew We had an experience here the other night that was weird.

8:09 Adam I don't know what religion you subscribe to, but we're sort of atheists here.

8:14 Drew Oh, really?

8:15 Adam But we are into the Great Magnet. The Great Magnet, yeah.

8:20 Nelly Furtado The one you strap onto your back, your back alignment? No, this is- Someone tried to sell me one of those ones.

8:26 Adam This is a great, yeah, this isn't the one that helps your golf swing. This is the one, I like when Evil Knievel does that one, too. I'm in constant pain. I broke over 1,700 bones over a 40-year career. Now I can golf again.

8:40 Drew I just wear this magnet around my wrist.

8:42 Adam You got a brass bracelet on, Evil? You're held together with wire and pins. All right, but the point is, what is your religion? You have one?

8:51 Nelly Furtado Sorry, my dad used to mention Evil Knievel all the time. I don't know what the hell he was talking about, but I understand he's a stuntman.

8:56 Adam One of the greatest daredevils ever born.

8:58 Nelly Furtado Lot of bike stuff, right? Oh yeah.

9:03 Drew He was the 70s. He was the 70s.

9:05 Adam Yeah, he jumped the motorcycles.

9:06 Drew He jumped the Snake River.

9:08 Nelly Furtado Religion. I grew up Roman Catholic. Yeah, as a kid, yep. Portuguese Roman Catholic Church is quite beautiful. There's all these crazy celebrations and processions, and it's gorgeous. It's quite beautiful. It's a very beautiful place.

9:23 Drew It's natural and interesting, but I'm a very spiritual person.

9:24 Nelly Furtado Lots of time since I was a little kid. Oh, tons. Cousins, aunts, uncles. Sal Miguel, Azores Islands, back centuries, I'm a Missourian, Portuguese, so yeah.

9:36 Adam That's where you get your tenacity.

9:38 Nelly Furtado Yeah, hell yeah, we're islanders.

9:40 Drew She's a sea person. That's why she had to go to Victoria Island, which is in Vancouver.

9:43 Adam Wow.

9:44 I'll tell you what, it's windy there.

9:47 Adam I don't want to put any pressure on you, Nelly, but I do have some literature on The Great Magnet that may be during the break. Just look it over, no pressure, it's not a hard sell. Drew and I are getting together next Tuesday.

10:00 Drew I'm doing some ritual.

10:04 Adam Don't put the screws, Drew. You just look at the literature, look at the literature. You know, whatever contribution you can spare would be great, but no pressure. Okay, and if you take a handful and hand it out to the crowd when you perform, that would be kind of cool.

10:20 Drew I know, Adam, you think that every one of our listeners listens to each show from beginning to end every night, but why don't you share with them what the other Great Maddick experience was like. Was it last night or that before?

10:29 Adam Well, you know, I worry about repeating, because here's the problem with the great magnet. You know, you know these experiences where you're telling your friends, you go, I was just thinking of my friend Carl and then the phone rang and it was Carl. Wow. Where's where's Leonard Nimoy when you need him? We need it. We need a documentary film crew in here because this is this is insane.

10:56 Caller Yeah, it's like that.

10:58 Adam So whenever you repeat those stories, you just lose their power. Yeah, about halfway into it, you start to realize people are wandering and they're looking down and then it's like, OK, but all right, I'm going to say fast because it's bad radio not to talk about something and not not actually say it true. We were who we in here with a newfound glory. Yes, in here with newfound glory and newfound glory. I brought up record covers for some reason and pictures and they have a nice new CD. And for some reason, one of them brought up Emerson, Lake and Palmer, a 70s iconic 70s band. Maybe you've never even heard of them. ELP. They used to be called the good musicians. Check them out.

11:38 Drew Adam and I were sufficiently traumatized by the 70s. One mere mention of anything in the 70s are your perk up immediately.

11:46 Adam I was wondering why the kid from newfound glory knew about Emerson, Lake and Palmer. Well, it turns out he likes classic rock. But anyway, I said, I have a horrible story about the Emerson, Lake and Palmer. I was singing one of their karaoke songs, song called Carnival Number Nine, not Carnival Number Nine, Carnival. That's creative. And I told them right when I got to this one point that changed the words on me because it was a dirty, it was dirty lyrics and they didn't, they didn't go ahead and put them through the karaoke. And then we went to commercial and Drew and I went out into the hallway where we hear the classic rock station.

12:22 Drew We share the building with a hallway with the classic rock stage.

12:25 Adam And that song, Carnival Number Nine was being pumped through, a song we've never heard in that hallway.

12:32 Drew We walked down the hallway, everybody complained about the music and the songs and there was this song being played.

12:37 Adam So the point is, a song we've never brought up or never talked about on this show and never heard being played. Never heard in a hall was, and that's a great magnet. That's a great magnet. And again, just going to drop some literature off. Just look at it, you know, magnetics, magnetics, magnetics. Look at it at your leisure. No pressure. Whatever you can contribute would be great. Ian? And by the way, you know, when people want donations and they go real bottom and they go high and they say whatever would be great, but I always think they'd be pissed. Look, if it's a nickel, if it's a thousand dollars, here's eight cents, here's seven cents. Anything they'd be kind of pissed? Yeah. Like that was it. Whatever you can. All right.

13:23 Caller Here's 12 cents.

13:25 Adam As a matter of fact, here's a quarter.

13:28 Nelly Furtado In pennies.

13:29 Adam Here's a quarter. You have any change? What do you got? Do you got six, eight cents on you? I'm just looking for a little rattle in the pocket. Ian?

13:37 Yeah.

13:37 Adam You're 19?

13:38 Caller Yep.

13:39 Adam What's up?

13:40 Caller All right. I got a little bit of a problem. That is I'm also an exquisite man, a man of exquisite passion. And it's getting in the way a little recently. Whenever I have sex or masturbate, I don't actually feel fulfilled unless I go four or five times.

14:02 Caller Oh my God.

14:04 Caller And it's actually usually it's more than that. That's just bare minimum.

14:10 Caller And that's it.

14:11 Caller Hold on.

14:12 Adam I mean, when you say more, you mean eight or 10?

14:15 Caller Right.

14:16 Drew Then you turn inside out.

14:17 Adam In one sitting. At what point does your liver come out of your urethra?

14:22 Caller It hasn't happened yet, but I think I might be going towards that.

14:26 Adam And is that that's in one session?

14:31 Caller Right. That's in about a three hour time span.

14:36 Adam Oh, well, that's a little I mean, it might technically be one session, but that's a get up. Put some fluids back in the body, a little pose down in front of the mirror. You want me? You're talking to me. You want some of this and then back in to beat off?

14:51 Caller Actually, no, it's not even that. It's basically one after another. There's no more than really about a one minute, two minute break in between.

15:00 Adam Well now, hold on now, champ. I'm doing the math. Three hours. If it's three hours. Got a pen out. Yeah, I got a pen out and it's only a minute or so downtime in between. We got ourselves 170 minutes to kill.

15:14 Caller Right.

15:15 Adam And that's 170 minutes. And we're talking about eight or ten sessions here. We're talking about 20, 25 minutes even, 18 minutes per Jack.

15:28 Caller Actually, I'd say it's more like a physics half-life type deal. The first one takes about an hour and then successfully after that it takes less time.

15:36 Drew Asymptotic an hour for the first one and yet there's multiple?

15:39 Really?

15:39 Drew What?

15:40 Caller Right.

15:41 Adam Hour for the first one.

15:43 Drew It gets shorter and shorter.

15:44 Adam You can't get that first one off any faster in an hour?

15:47 Caller I can, but on a typical daily average it'd be about 45 minutes to an hour.

15:54 Drew You know, are you withholding, I mean, do you kind of back off at the moment?

16:00 Caller No, I did when I was younger, I read something online.

16:04 Drew You can actually cause yourself to produce a lot of fluid, you know what I'm saying? You stimulate for a long period of time, your prostate will start building up some stuff.

16:14 Adam Yeah, I never get to that point anymore.

16:16 Drew Yeah, you release your power.

16:19 Adam Yeah, for me, it's like a canary took a cramp on me.

16:23 Nelly Furtado Nothing.

16:24 Adam I'm sorry I had to hear that.

16:27 Drew She's disgusted.

16:28 Nelly Furtado All right.

16:29 But it's a great magnet.

16:30 Nelly Furtado I've heard this show in a while.

16:34 Adam Yeah, it's disgusting. Hey, Ian. Oh, look. I forgot the tone. Yeah, why don't you stop it? All right, I know it sounds novel, but why don't you roll that thing back to once a day?

16:47 Drew What's the question?

16:48 Adam I don't know.

16:48 Drew The fact that there was no question makes it sound a little suspect.

16:52 Adam Yeah, but why would he?

16:56 Drew No question.

16:56 Adam All right, let's take something important.

16:58 Drew Yes, please. Go for a hike.

17:00 Adam Yeah. You talking to me? Oh, no, you're talking to...

17:03 Drew Take a hike. She's talking to you.

17:04 Nelly Furtado No, nature. Nature.

17:06 Adam Getting to nature.

17:06 Nelly Furtado Cheers all.

17:07 Adam That's right. Live like a Poison Ivy. Jessica?

17:12 Yeah.

17:12 Adam Because we will get one off on the trail. You're 16?

17:16 Caller Yeah.

17:16 Adam Your boyfriend is violent?

17:19 Caller Yeah.

17:20 Drew What happened?

17:21 Well, I don't know. I've been going out with him for like three years and then like about six or seven months ago. I lost my virginity to him and like he was like a sweet person before that. But then after that, then he just became violent and he'd like start hitting me and everything. And I defend myself back. And then like maybe a month and a half ago, he slept with my best friend. And I want to stay away from him.

17:48 Adam He sounds like a keeper.

17:50 Nelly Furtado Do you have a job?

17:52 16.

17:52 Nelly Furtado Do you have a job?

17:55 No, not right now.

17:57 Nelly Furtado Yeah. Does he have a job?

18:00 No, he used to, but he doesn't anymore.

18:03 Drew Are you in school?

18:04 Yeah.

18:05 Adam How old is this guy?

18:07 He's the same age as I am.

18:09 Adam Same age. And you've been together for three years and the guy didn't do anything. And I'm guessing she met him when he was 13 and then puberty started kicking in, testosterone started pumping and that's probably where he got his aggression.

18:21 Drew Well, then it's funny how having sex unleashed all this. That's interesting. Why don't you tell your parents about this? Why don't you tell, say, your dad about this? I know where this is going.

18:31 I don't. They don't know about anything.

18:33 Drew Why don't you tell your dad about it so he can take care of this guy's behavior?

18:37 Oh, no, because my dad is in, or like I'm staying in Colorado with my grandparents and my dad lives out here.

18:46 Drew Shocking.

18:47 Adam All right. So what's wrong with your dad and your mom? And look, when you're living with your grandparents, that's a bad sign.

18:55 My mom's trying to get her life together.

18:57 Caller Is she a drug addict?

18:59 Drew Is she an addict?

19:01 Yeah.

19:02 Drew He must be also.

19:03 Adam What's your dad doing?

19:05 He's raising my two brothers.

19:08 Drew Oh, my God.

19:10 Adam Now, jeez.

19:11 But I don't know why I can't, like, I don't know why I keep going back to this guy. I want to stay away from him.

19:17 Adam I know.

19:17 Drew But what is imprinted in your brain, what's left in your procedural memory from the abusive dad and the abandoning mom is attraction to people that are abusive and abandoning. Yeah.

19:28 Adam And that's why this, by the way, why abusive parents really need to be punished the most. It's not really what they're doing to the kid, you know, between age three and eight. It's what the kids doing to themselves at 20 through life. And then society, by the way.

19:43 Drew Because we all become we're all mom and dad.

19:45 Adam Yeah, we all get the, you know, if it's a guy, they kick the crap out of us. And if it's a girl, she's just working behind the counter over at the Southwest Airline Information Desk. Abusing us. All right. So Jessica, how about a little counseling? Can you do that?

20:04 I tried that. Well, kind of, but.

20:07 Adam Well, here's the thing. This guy's no good for you.

20:10 Caller Yeah.

20:10 Adam He he raised his hand to you. So that's a deal breaker.

20:14 Drew And I suggest that you tell somebody about this.

20:15 Adam And how about? Yeah.

20:17 Drew This will stop.

20:18 Adam How about telling the counselor?

20:19 Nelly Furtado And it can get dangerous.

20:20 Drew That's exactly right. It does not stop on its own.

20:23 Adam And by the way, for his sake, he needs you to tell somebody. Yes.

20:27 Drew He will harm you eventually.

20:28 Adam He could stop in the hospital.

20:31 Drew It will happen, Jessica.

20:32 Adam Does he go to your school? He's in Arizona and you're in Denver? You don't have access to a private plane, do you?

20:48 Drew No.

20:48 Adam Okay. That's a no. Here's the point. So what do you care? You're not going to see the guy.

20:52 Drew Just don't see him.

20:53 Adam Don't see him.

20:53 Drew There you go.

20:55 Adam All right. By the way, let me tell you the problem with kids today. Unlimited range. Between the emailing and the Internet and all this kind of stuff and Southwest with their $35 flights anywhere in the world, everyone's within range.

21:08 Drew Global neighborhood.

21:09 Adam Yeah. See, here's the whole thing. We never had a car that could make it out of the neighborhood.

21:14 Drew Like land and it would cost a fortune to make a phone call.

21:18 Caller This is true. Remember that?

21:19 Adam Oh, it was crazy.

21:20 Drew If you would call from, she's in Denver to Phoenix, it'd be like $5 a minute.

21:24 Adam Well, that was our parents, by the way. So not only was it our parents who were freaked out about money and Drew's got super cheap parents and I just got super poor parents, but they're cheap too. But Drew's parents' worse because they actually had money and it made Drew feel bad for wanting things. But the thing is, yeah, you can pick up the phone now and talk. It used to be a crazy thing. Like if somebody would call like once in a blue moon, the relatives from Philadelphia would call.

21:50 Drew The family would gather around.

21:51 Yeah, I could say, hey, okay, all right, bye. It's like, hey, and it'd be like, it's coming to the minute. If it gets to the minute, it'll tip over.

22:05 Adam It was like it was it was nutty novelty expensive. And airfare was just something. This is something that oil tycoons did. You know, maybe if you want to take a 30 day bus ride back east or something in between a couple of hos, maybe. And in the cars, you know, my mom had a VW Squareback that was like 14 years old. Like the thing would start overheating.

22:28 Drew What do you do?

22:29 Adam You go back down the driveway. You think you're driving up north and you're not going anywhere.

22:32 Drew How do you cross the desert? Impossible. That would literally be the thing. How do you cross the desert? A little overheat.

22:38 Nelly Furtado This is impossible.

22:39 Adam Like settlers going over Donner Pass. We'd have to, cannibalism would set in. We'd have to break down. We'd eat each other.

22:45 Drew But the phone would be the interesting thing. It would be an event. A long distance phone call.

22:50 Adam Oh, and then lots of conversations about this. Hey, can I borrow the phone?

22:54 Drew Local call?

22:54 Adam Where's it go? Where are you going?

22:55 Drew Where are you calling? Who are you calling? Another area code. What's this all about?

22:58 Adam Who are you calling? Is this an emergency? Local call, right? You don't hear local call anymore either.

23:03 It's a big deal.

23:04 Adam You're called over the hill. Oh my God.

23:07 What a horror.

23:08 Adam We should have killed ourselves. I stand by that.

23:10 Drew These kids can't appreciate the life they lead now.

23:11 But here's the point.

23:13 Drew All right, pops.

23:13 Adam You could only hang out. You could only fall in love with people that lived in your neighborhood. And you would just never have this thing. We talked to people all night long. They're 15, 16 years old. They're in, they're having a relationship with someone that's two states away.

23:28 Drew I was just thinking about this after interestingly enough that the rise in gas prices still has not risen to the point where it makes up for how improved the price of communication is. You know what I mean? If I put together long distance phone calls up to the age of about 20, cell phone fees until the age of 35.

23:49 Adam Ooh, yeah, there's a doctor you had to have one.

23:51 Drew Yeah, I could pay $370 per gallon for 10 years. All right.

23:59 Adam Now we got a super set of Emerson, Lincoln Palmer coming up too, by the way. Are we doing a retro show? Drew and I are just going to complain about the past. Carn Evil number nine and brain salad surgery coming your way. Yeah, and then a super set of yes. Nelly Furtado is here. Folklore, name of the CD. She's going to be on Leno tonight. We're going to hear a new song from Nelly. All that after this.

24:31 Every hour, two Americans under the age of 25 are infected with HIV. Protect yourself. Call toll free, 1-866-344-KNOW.

25:03 Caller Drew waits the last second.

25:05 Adam Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam. I got this policy where I don't talk if the person's doing the test or anything. That's the only way Drew makes his talk. That's awesome. Yeah.

25:14 Nelly Furtado Silent treatment.

25:15 Adam Yeah, I didn't start that way. It just, that's the way it had to go. That's the way Drew wanted to play it.

25:20 Nelly Furtado I can't see your face.

25:21 Adam Nelly, Nelly Furtado here. Your hair's all goofy because the headphones on. Oh, we call them cans, actually. That's nice.

25:27 Caller That's nice.

25:28 Adam Yeah. Motherhood's been good to you.

25:31 Nelly Furtado Thanks.

25:31 Adam Has it? Yeah? What'd you have?

25:35 Nelly Furtado A beautiful girl.

25:36 Adam Beautiful girl, but no picture.

25:39 Nelly Furtado No, I didn't bring one with me tonight.

25:41 Adam True, what about that? Shouldn't she have a picture?

25:44 Drew The first year, you're lucky when you're sort of able to dress yourself.

25:49 Nelly Furtado I have pictures, you know.

25:50 Adam Yeah, and plus, really, I know everyone, they're all special individuals and everything, but people just look at it, they're being nice, because they can't tell the difference from one to the next before a year, you know, then they start taking some shape. The only way they can tell is if they're really ugly, because once in a while, a bad, you know, demon seed comes out and that's when people are like, oh, you know they're ugly, because they start overcompensating and they start fishing. Look at the eyes, look at the eyes. Yeah, they start focusing on the eyes too much, that's a bad thing, later on in life too.

26:25 Drew Well, no, no, they focus on particular parts. But beautiful hair, beautiful, oh my God, look at that hair.

26:32 Adam Start overcompensating, that's right. All right, Nelly Furtado here.

26:36 Nelly Furtado Dr. Scott, nice hair.

26:37 I'm sure she's like, hey, we'll never know.

26:41 Drew We'll never see the pictures.

26:43 Nelly Furtado Jazz has pictures. Sorry, I was saying, doing my little dedication there.

26:48 Adam Yeah, no more shout outs, please. Until you can produce a picture.

26:51 Nelly Furtado Okay, fine.

26:52 Adam All right, as a matter of fact, why don't you draw a picture? Just draw what your daughter may look like.

27:00 Drew Will you talk while she's using the pen?

27:03 Caller All right.

27:05 Adam Oh, she drew a swastika. I find that important. She drew a heart. Oh, she crumbled up her swastika. Not the test. No, she drew a heart. That's the beauty. All right, Nelly Furtado here, buddy. Yeah, let's break it down.

27:20 Nelly Furtado I thought I had a swastika on my dress today.

27:21 Adam What happened?

27:22 Nelly Furtado He was jealous.

27:23 Drew Great magnet.

27:24 Nelly Furtado He was actually Jewish.

27:25 Adam Uh-oh.

27:26 Nelly Furtado I'm like, there's just swastika on the dress. He's like, no, there isn't. It was right on the boob, it was funny.

27:30 Adam What was it?

27:30 Nelly Furtado All of a sudden, cause I'm breastfeeding, it was like that that part was a lot bigger on the dress. Suddenly swastika. No, but it wasn't, thankfully.

27:38 Adam Now you're- You're, you know, see here, Americans, we don't, we stop breastfeeding about week number three. And then we get a-

27:47 Nelly Furtado You tell everyone you're breastfeeding for a year.

27:49 Adam We got a Guatemalan woman to come in and just start pushing around and yelling at them. Yes, all the kids are traumatized out here. But you, with the more slightly European flair, you must, you must be planning on breastfeeding for a while.

28:04 Nelly Furtado Puerto Rican.

28:05 Drew Do you speak Portuguese?

28:06 Nelly Furtado Of course, yeah.

28:07 Drew Are you gonna- Have you ever heard that language spoken? It's a very strange sounding language.

28:10 Adam No, let's hear something.

28:12 Nelly Furtado I sing in Portuguese too. Now I'm here with you guys talking on the radio.

28:16 Adam It's nice.

28:18 Nelly Furtado This is Portuguese. Yeah, it's like-

28:20 Drew You can't quite identify.

28:21 Adam It's like if Mexico went to college. It's Latin. Yeah, it's nice. No, no, no, no. That's nice.

28:27 Nelly Furtado Espanol es muy lindo tambien.

28:29 Adam Nice. Yeah, is Spanish and Portuguese, you guys could communicate, right?

28:34 Nelly Furtado It's very similar, it's very similar. We can understand Spanish better than, you know, the opposite.

28:40 Adam Okay, so you'll be breastfeeding for, you know, to the kids in junior high, right?

28:44 Nelly Furtado Rock and roll. No, no, no, no, no, actually. Because now I'm touring and all of a sudden-

28:49 Adam All right.

28:50 Nelly Furtado Can only do, your body can only take care of so many things at once. But yeah, no, yeah, yeah, yeah, you know, it's a good thing. No, you know, our whole, my mother's generation, nobody breastfed, it wasn't in vogue then.

29:02 Adam Oh, really?

29:02 Nelly Furtado Now it's in fashion again, you know. It's nature's perfect food.

29:06 Adam Do they have wet nurses still?

29:08 Nelly Furtado No, but Salvador Dali had a wet nurse. He drew a picture of her.

29:11 Adam Really?

29:12 Nelly Furtado It's very famous. What does that mean? You know, getting...

29:17 Adam And let me say this. Let me kiss a little Nelly Furtado ass for just one second, which is...

29:22 Nelly Furtado I got a lot of hair in it.

29:24 Adam You speak a second language, and here's how it normally goes, where people speak in our language, and someone goes, they go, speak a little German for us, and they go, what do you want me to say? And you go, I don't know, say anything. Well, I don't know. I can't just, you go back and forth for 20 minutes, you want right into it. God bless you. And listen, hold on a second, when someone tells you to speak your other goddamn tongue, shout something out. Don't get in a huge debate over it.

29:48 Caller What do you want? No, he speaks French. I'll tell you this, start speaking French now.

29:53 Drew Yes, I speak French.

29:54 Caller That's right. Now speak somewhere else. There you go.

29:58 Adam See, that's how it should work. What do you want me to say? Well, I don't know, say whatever you want. Well, I don't know. I mean, should I say, just start talking.

30:06 Caller Watch one more time, Drew. French!

30:07 Caller Pardon.

30:08 Caller Go!

30:09 Caller Comment t'appelles-tu?

30:10 Nelly Furtado Comment t'appelles-tu?

30:12 Drew Je m'appelle Drew, ça n'est pas vrai?

30:13 Nelly Furtado Drew, wow!

30:14 Caller Yeah, all right, that's enough, you two lovebirds.

30:17 Adam Press by the side.

30:19 Nelly Furtado I wanted to give you the euro. Wow!

30:22 Adam All right, let's get to the phones. We gotta focus now. Let's go now. Get a handed now. Let's break it down. Let's go, phone, phone, phone. Light them up, light them up. Lindsay. You're 20?

30:34 Caller I am.

30:35 Adam What's up?

30:37 All right, here's the deal.

30:38 Caller All right, I'll try to sum it up quickly. My parents were divorced when I was like one. So I grew up with separate sets of pants. They both remarried quickly and stuff. And so it's never been an issue, but my biological father was an alcoholic and a drug addict and he was bipolar. And so with his mother and everyone before them, they're all crazy. And he was abusive at times and stuff, but the problem is I don't remember a lot of what happened. Like a lot of my childhood, I don't remember it. Like I just don't, I can't remember it. I don't remember what happened. I don't remember anything. But lately I've been having dreams where I'll be getting raped and I don't actually see a face, but everything and like everything tells me it's my father. And I don't know if this is just me being crazy or I don't have any relationship with them at all anymore. And I have a great family now and everything's been fine for years, but.

31:30 Drew So you could, you can have stable relationships. Everything is fine now.

31:33 Caller Yeah, I really, I mean, I really do. I have a great father now and I have a great family.

31:37 Drew I don't mean just with your family that you're with, but can you have relationships with people your own age and are they stable relationships?

31:43 Caller With everyone my age?

31:44 Drew Yeah.

31:45 Caller Oh, you mean like a boyfriend?

31:47 Adam Yeah.

31:48 Caller No, I do have issues in that area.

31:52 Drew That's where the craziness comes out.

31:53 Adam Yeah. I mean, that's all you people who wonder if something went on in the past. You just sort of take a look at your current relationships and not with your friends and not necessarily with your mom or dad, but-

32:07 Drew The romantic one, the intimate ones, yeah.

32:09 Adam Or girlfriend. And if that thing's effed up, probably means things were less than perfect growing up.

32:14 Drew And you know you were traumatized. You know there was an abusive bipolar drug addicted dad who was God knows doing what. And listen, whether or not this dream you're having is an explicit sort of remembrance is sort of irrelevant. It's the feeling of being sort of exploited and traumatized is what's important here. And that we know happened. So why don't, and it's being expressed in your relationships. Why don't you take care of this?

32:37 Caller Well, like, what do you mean? I don't mean to sound so ignorant, but what do you mean take care of it?

32:43 Drew Get some treatment.

32:44 Adam Oh, thank you, make clear yourself.

32:45 Drew No, get some treatment.

32:46 Nelly Furtado You were one?

32:48 Caller When they got divorced.

32:50 Nelly Furtado So you never saw him again after age one?

32:51 Caller No, no, no, no, no, no.

32:54 Nelly Furtado Oh, I was confused.

32:55 Caller Age 16 was when he broke into the house and I had had it, he tried to kill us and we called the cops and that was when I was like, I'm done with this crap.

33:02 Drew Just that, Lindsay, would be enough. That's 10 years. Adam's father missed a couple of Pop Warner football games. He's been a therapist for 14 years.

33:11 Adam I don't call four a couple.

33:13 Drew Four of Pop Warner football games, 14 years of therapy.

33:15 Adam Yeah, couples too, Drew. That's four, that's twice, that's double two. That's 100% more than a couple.

33:21 Drew Think about your medicine tonight, your medicine. The red wine.

33:24 Adam The bottle's waiting for me.

33:29 Caller I don't know, I feel very...

33:30 Adam Don't ever minimize what happened to Madra.

33:34 Caller I feel like I'm more on the plane about this though. I mean, other than that, I had a great family.

33:39 Caller It's not like it was...

33:40 Adam That's enough.

33:41 Nelly Furtado Don't make excuses.

33:43 Adam Get some therapy.

33:44 Drew Other than what? Other than the horrible, abusive circumstances.

33:48 Caller It wasn't...

33:50 Adam All right, get some therapy, would you? Just stop defending your horrible past.

33:55 Drew It's true.

33:56 Adam It's not your fault, but now you gotta do something about it. That's all right. Here's the whole thing about therapy. It's not like chemotherapy, which is, hey, if you don't have cancer, your hair's gonna fall out and you're gonna vomit and feel sick. So you wouldn't certainly want someone to have chemotherapy if they didn't have... This is like, this is more like an enema, couldn't hoit, as they say. This is like taking a multiple vitamin. It's like, well, I'm not sick. I feel great. All right, so you got a little extra B vitamin in you.

34:23 Nelly Furtado That's right. There's still stigma attached to going to therapy, so people don't want to go.

34:27 Drew Crazy.

34:28 Nelly Furtado They're afraid of being ostracized by their friends.

34:31 Adam That's right.

34:31 Nelly Furtado Because they're not confident.

34:33 Adam That's right. Very mean people. The kind of people that would minimize, say, your dad not going to a four pop order dance.

34:38 Nelly Furtado But that's a problem when you use the word crazy, though, when you label and use the word crazy.

34:42 Drew You know, she used that word.

34:44 Nelly Furtado You're right, she used it.

34:44 Drew But I actually think people ought to get more comfortable with the word crazy. It should be a funny, non-threatening kind of word.

34:50 Nelly Furtado Yeah, yeah. Warm and fuzzy.

34:52 Drew We're all kind of crazy, you know.

34:53 Adam Yeah, Nutty and Cuckoo have made it.

34:55 Nelly Furtado Right, so it's more practical to be crazy and good.

34:58 Adam Crazy, Nutty, Cuckoo.

34:59 Drew We use, in the hospital, we use words like dangerous when we really think somebody's a problem.

35:04 Adam I like when cops use bad guys.

35:07 Drew They do that a lot. The military does that.

35:09 Adam Yeah, the military does that too. Kind of makes it okay to kill them. You know what I mean? Yeah, if they just said like, if they started substituting like bad guys with fellow humans, it would never work. It would never work. We found some fellow humans and went ahead and kicked their heads off. It wouldn't be good, but bad guys, no problem. All right, Drew, now what happened? We're going to hear a Nelly Furtado song.

35:33 Drew Let's do it.

35:34 Adam I don't know. Do we have time?

35:36 Nelly Furtado Hell yeah, you have time.

35:37 Adam All right, let's do it. Let's do it. Yeah. Anderson's pissed, but that's all right. We're going to get that song and then we go right to break.

35:45 Caller All right, Folklore, name of the new CD in the song we're going to hear of it is called Explode.

39:32 Adam Nelly Furtado, everybody. What a voice, what a woman, what a mother. Thank you. What a Canadian. The great magnet is gonna welcome. Welcome Nelly into his heart, into his realm.

39:48 Nelly Furtado I'm feeling the magnet tonight.

39:50 Adam Yeah, oh yeah, oh you can. Oh yeah, and he's, he's a great magnet, he's everywhere, you know what I mean? And nowhere, and nowhere.

39:57 Drew And in you.

39:58 Adam And in you, and on you. And all of us. Yeah, in you and on you at the same time. Yeah, oh yeah, yeah. It's like, it's a field and a feeling. Drew, get the literature from my van.

40:10 Drew I will.

40:11 Adam And no pressure.

40:12 Drew I'll get the magnetometer too.

40:14 Adam Get the magnetometer and just take a look at it and hand out some of the people in the audience and any contribution you could make.

40:21 Drew Seven cents, $7,000.

40:22 Adam Seven cents, $7,000, it doesn't matter, it's all the same. We'll take stuff, we'll be really pissed if it's under like $1,500. We'll take a quick break. Nelly Furtado here tonight, we'll be right back after this.

40:31 Caller Loveline.

40:57 Drew Yeah.

40:58 Adam Now see, Drew's argument to that kind of stuff is he just don't know what's going on.

41:02 Drew Thank you, Edis. I appreciate that.

41:04 Caller All right.

41:05 Adam What happens there is Drew has guests fill out tests, and I don't talk if they're filling out the tests during the commercial. But it's not like it ever comes up. Nelly Furtado is here tonight. And Drew, what about that part of you that doesn't pipe up when this is going? You don't notice it? When the person's taking the test?

41:25 Drew Yeah, I'm focused on the next call and stuff.

41:28 Adam All right, all right, all right. We gotta get you a little bell or something.

41:32 Drew Anderson's, Anderson might have a bell.

41:34 Nelly Furtado And he said to sit through 189 of them.

41:36 Adam But by the time Anderson pipes up, it's only because there's been dead air for a few seconds. All right, there's nothing we can do.

41:42 Nelly Furtado What's up Anderson?

41:46 Adam Uh, Nelly Furtado here tonight. Folklore, name of the CD. Let's get to the phones. Andrea?

41:53 Yeah.

41:54 Adam You're 22?

41:56 Caller Yes.

41:57 Adam What's up?

41:58 Caller Um, well, my question is about, uh, different lubes. Uh, a lot of lubes I use tend to sting really bad. There's only been one that I've used that hasn't. And I'm just wondering, um, like maybe what the ingredients are that I need to steer clear from, like when I'm buying other lube.

42:13 Drew What was the one that didn't sting?

42:16 Caller It was, it was like a, a hustler sample or something that my boyfriend picked up when he picked up a toy or something.

42:22 Adam Nice. Probably got a strip club by the way, but, but go ahead.

42:26 Drew Your vagina becomes irritated? You, you get vaginal irritation?

42:37 Adam Ah, old fashioned.

42:39 Drew Maybe, maybe you just irritate that area with the act you're doing and maybe just by coincidence, one time it didn't irritate things.

42:48 Caller Well, well we used the hustler one a few times. It was, it was just a small bottle though. But, but like Astro Glide and Id, they both sting if, if I use it vaginally as well.

43:02 Adam Mm-hmm.

43:04 Caller And I thought those were supposed to be like, I thought Astro Glide was supposed to be all water-based and like the most-

43:09 Drew Yes, these are fairly inert. They're, it must be maybe some fragrance in them or something in reaction to that.

43:14 Adam I don't think so. Why don't you, and by, okay-

43:16 Drew That doesn't make sense.

43:17 Adam Here's what Drew's saying. Drew's saying maybe there was a little trauma down there and it wasn't the lube, it was just-

43:25 Drew The action.

43:26 Adam The action. Yeah. Yeah, it's like you threw a rod in the engine and you're blaming the oil.

43:31 Drew Right.

43:31 Adam It wasn't the oil's fault.

43:33 Drew But she's saying that each time they tried this one, it was better than the others.

43:37 Adam Well, feel free, by the way, and let me explain the theory behind samples. You're supposed to use them and then like them, whether it be breakfast cereal, car wax, or anal lube. And we all love it when we get one of those in the Sunday paper, the anal lube sampler. Sure, sure. Collect and trade. Use the sample. They don't give you enough to last your whole lifetime. See, if they give you a 55-gallon drum sample, well, you'd never be back. Now, you use the sample, you like the sample, you buy the sample. No, no, you buy more than the sample.

44:10 Drew Oh, yeah, you buy the product.

44:11 Adam That's right. You actually go out and get the product. Andrea?

44:15 Caller Yes.

44:16 Adam So, why don't you hop online and buy that Hustler ass loop?

44:22 Caller Yeah, well, I was just thinking that it's hard to find, but then you just said online, and...

44:28 Drew How hard could it be?

44:30 Adam And by the way, somebody who's engaging in copious amounts of cornholing, I would imagine has a strong constitution and a can-do type attitude.

44:40 Drew Yes, can-do.

44:42 Adam Can-did, yeah, am I right? I mean, that's kind of... That's an individual. That's right, that's what we call chutzpah. I'm not sure what you call it over there in Canada or Spain. Or wait, wait, Portugal, yeah.

44:53 Caller Oh, mister.

44:54 Adam What we got over here is a little something called chutzpah.

44:58 Drew Moxie, I think is really what this one has.

45:00 Adam We pick ourselves up by our own thong-back straps and get to work, and that's why this country is number one.

45:08 Caller All right.

45:08 Adam Quick Mark question, because I've got a question for Nelly before she leaves.

45:13 Caller Mark? I'm here.

45:14 Adam You got a question for Nelly?

45:16 Caller Yes, I do. Nelly, how you doing?

45:17 Nelly Furtado Hi, how are you?

45:19 Caller Mark? Yeah, that's me. First of all, I got to say you are fine. Two kinds of fine.

45:26 Nelly Furtado Two kinds?

45:27 Adam Maybe three.

45:28 Caller Three, possibly four. But anyway, I want to know how you feel about being accepted by the hip-hop community like you did, and who would you like to work with in hip-hop?

45:37 Nelly Furtado Oh, that's a nice question. Yeah, I don't know. For me, I just started when I was about 12 years old. I got into hip-hop and R&B, and I lived in Victoria, you know, a suburban sort of small town, mostly white town. But we picked up some Seattle radio stations with some urban stuff. And also in my city, I had hip-hop MCs. It's my generation, you know. Suburban hip-hop is a reality. So that's what I flocked towards. And I wrote rhymes for a while when I was 14. And that's why nowadays, as an adult, when I bounce into the studio with these different hip-hop groups, I feel right at home. And it's just a groove, it's just a vibe. It's all just another influence for me.

46:20 Adam Who would you like to work with that you haven't worked with?

46:24 Nelly Furtado I heard you rapped, Adam.

46:25 Adam Yeah. I do a little Russian rap.

46:29 Nelly Furtado Oh yeah. I want to work with the Neptunes still.

46:37 Adam The Neptunes?

46:38 Nelly Furtado We've been meaning to work for a while. We'll work together. And then rap. Actually, Missy and I, maybe production would be fun. Do something together from scratch.

46:48 Adam Are you talking about Missy Elliott?

46:51 Nelly Furtado Working with The Roots was fun. The Roots, J5, I'm here, LA. But yeah, anybody really. I'm the type of person where you put me in a room with anybody and I try to make it work. I'm an idealist.

47:10 Drew hold on.

47:13 Adam We got to take a break and nail his own...

47:16 Dr. Drew in the hizzy.

47:18 Adam We got to go. Nelly's only in for the first hour. So we have to say...

47:22 Nelly Furtado Oh, it shows two hours.

47:24 Adam Adios to the big Nell stuff. Nelly Furtado, everyone. Folklore, name of the CD. Always a delight. Come in sooner than three years, please. I will, I will. All right.

47:35 Nelly Furtado Before another three. Thanks, guys.

47:37 Adam We'll be back right after this.

47:38 Caller All right, guys.

47:39 Caller Here's the deal. Looking to hook up? Call the Dateline.

47:42 Caller Sick of wasting time with the wrong person? Call the Dateline. One call is all you need to make.

47:46 Caller Call the Dateline. 1-877-889.

47:51 Caller You know what I'm saying, I'm dead?

47:58 Caller This hour brought to you by Loveline, Love Word, with Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew. Hey there, buddy, Loveline.

48:28 Adam I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew. Nelly Furtado is gone. And if history is any indication, we'll see her in about 40 months. And I'm staying here.

48:40 Drew Oh, you'll be here.

48:41 Adam She's a delight, Nelly.

48:43 Drew Really nice.

48:43 Adam And a good performer. And we wish her well. Folklore. Dear, dear friend. Dear, dear friend, name of her CD. We'll get back to the phones and speak to Brandon, who's 17, Brandon?

48:58 Caller Yeah.

48:59 Adam What's up, buddy?

49:00 Caller What's up, dude? Yeah. My girlfriend, dude, she's just got this job stripping. Bro. And I really don't like that. You know, I don't, we have, you know, we have a kid together and it just makes me uncomfortable like to lay next to her and stuff.

49:19 Adam What's your kid's name? What's your kid's name?

49:24 Drew There he goes. Good night.

49:26 Caller Oh, there you are.

49:27 Adam What's your kid's name?

49:28 Caller Oh, her name's Autumn.

49:33 Adam What's the name of the club your girl works at?

49:35 Caller Yeah, that's a girl.

49:36 Adam What's the name of the club, what's the name of the club your girlfriend works at?

49:40 Caller Oh, Tommy's.

49:42 Adam Tommy's what?

49:43 Caller Tommy's two, it's in Portland.

49:46 Adam Two. Hold on a second. All right, this is for real.

49:50 Drew You think so?

49:51 Adam Yeah, because who could-

49:52 Drew Be that he's excellent, he's an excellent BSer.

49:54 Adam No, everyone who calls us shows an idiot.

49:56 Drew All right, okay, we'll go with it.

49:57 Adam And by the way, Tommy's the two part, that just means there's number one and possibly number three.

50:03 Drew But Tommy's, it's how Tommy's hamburgers are numbered around town here.

50:06 Yeah, ask another name of another strip joint in Portland.

50:10 Adam Why?

50:10 Caller Because I know the strip joints in Portland.

50:13 Caller How about I ask the first?

50:16 Adam How about Tommy's, too? How about I try to find the name of a therapist in Culver City?

50:21 Caller I know them, too.

50:22 Adam Wouldn't that be better? I'm just saying, more practical. All right, Brandon.

50:27 Drew What's up?

50:28 Adam Is it a topless place or bottomless?

50:31 Caller It's topless. I think, I don't know.

50:32 Adam What do you mean you don't know?

50:34 Caller I've never been there.

50:36 Adam Right, but these are the kind of questions you ask when your lady needs to go strip. And how old's your daughter? All right, and are you out of school?

50:46 Caller Yeah, I've been out of school since I was like 14.

50:47 Drew How does someone strip four months after a delivery?

50:51 Adam Hey, that's a testament to her personal training.

50:55 Drew That's the thing that went on in Portland.

50:57 Caller I went to the chick had like a C-section scar that it still had like stitches in it.

51:01 Caller Huh?

51:02 Drew Good times.

51:03 Adam Hey, listen, that's like, that's a world-class athlete there. That's take the needle and get out onto the field. You know what I'm saying?

51:12 Drew That's what I'm talking about.

51:14 Adam You're getting paid a lot of money. These people are here to see you. Sure. It's late in the season. You have some, you know, you're a little banged up. You get out there and perform. That's, that's, that's what we call a gamer, Drew. Oh, Pony Day. Blah, blah, blah, beer gun. Picture in the guy.

51:42 Drew Oh, yeah. Got him.

51:43 Adam And it's always that guy too. He's, he's fat, but he carves himself in a chin via the beard. With the ponytail. Yeah.

51:50 Drew It's got that look like, it's like, no, It is the guy from the Simpsons.

51:53 Adam No one's going to notice you have a 20 gallon bucket head just as long as you got that three blade razor and you're carving, you're painting a chin, painting a chin and jawline in on yourself. Yeah.

52:05 Caller Yeah.

52:06 Adam He calls it, he calls it Husky.

52:08 Caller We call it fat.

52:09 Adam Brandon.

52:10 Drew I call it a beast.

52:11 Adam Yeah. In any language, it means love. So, yeah, this seems, okay. Your life's a mess. Yes. Yes. You got hooked up with the crazy broad.

52:22 Drew Why aren't you going to school? Letting yourself part.

52:23 Caller Oh, I haven't been to school in years. I've been living on the streets. My mom's in jail, dude.

52:28 Adam Are you working now?

52:29 Caller Yeah, I'm trying to get a job. I had an interview at McDonald's today. Yeah.

52:34 Adam Did they interview there or don't you just drop off something where you sign your name and you put an ass?

52:39 Caller There was a bunch of bulls**t questions.

52:45 Adam Now, by the way, here's all I'm saying. I want to add a garage, an addition on top of my garage. I got to head down to the LA City Council and blow every MFer in there so they can tell me no. It's going to cost five grand and then you can't do it. Street people get to spit out kids?

53:05 Drew And strip.

53:06 Adam And mom's stripper, daddy's...

53:09 Drew How dare you?

53:10 Adam Yeah, I'm just saying, this kid's going to be a liability.

53:16 Drew Yep, to daughter.

53:17 Adam Oh, good.

53:18 Drew She can strip too.

53:19 Adam Fantastic. We'll keep our fingers crossed for porn.

53:22 Drew All right, Brandon, but here's the deal. You obviously are uncomfortable with this with good reason and you're in a relationship with somebody that...

53:33 Adam Give the kid up for adoption, please. Four months. They don't know who you are. Just give the kid up. And by the way, I know we have child protective services and things like this, but I just mean there's certain areas you couldn't own a goat. I can't have a pot plant. What? No laws? We got laws. I mean, people are always like, Oh, listen, we, you know, the thing about this country is we can't have, you can't get on a motorcycle without putting a helmet on. Can't get in a car without putting the seatbelt on. If you try to tote the kid in your car and they're not in a childproof seat, you get, Hey, there's no smoking. No smoking in the restaurant. No smoking at the beach out here, by the way.

54:14 Caller Don't worry about laws.

54:16 Adam We got plenty of laws. Plenty of laws. Everyone acts like, Oh, we're living in the old West and, oh, well, it's a slippery slope. Sure, we got no laws, but hey, man, you're free to do what you want. I can smoke your cigarette. I can have my pot plant. You can drive around your motorcycle. No, no.

54:33 Drew You can't do anything. The laws are way more involved in our life than almost any country on earth.

54:38 Adam Way more?

54:40 Drew I mean, communist countries are the only ones that really get more involved in your life.

54:43 Adam Yeah, listen, you don't think we got laws? We got goddamn robotic cameras at the intersection sending you tickets in the mail. Believe me, we got laws. How about a little something-something that says the 17-year-old homeless kid who's going to trade his kid for a hit-a-crack and a packet of mayonnaise can't bring the kid home from the hospital?

55:05 Drew Mm-hmm.

55:06 Adam We're going to keep them here until they can prove... Show us a couple of pay stubs from a job that's good for more than 19 grand a year, and we're going to need a note from your counselor, Sweet Pea. Yeah, you with the unicorn tattoo on your right cheek. Yeah, we're going to need something, because you're just going to have this kid up royally. Or endanger the kid.

55:25 Drew Absolutely.

55:25 Adam And by the way, you know, you don't have to suffocate a kid in order to screw them up or endanger them. Just them hanging around, seeing enough of... By the way, just a 17-year-old raising a kid is enough. Yeah, former homeless kid? All right.

55:40 Drew Not former, they're both basically still...

55:42 Adam Well, I don't know where they're living now, but the point is give the kid up for adoption, give the kid a shot. And law-wise, go ahead and make that one.

55:50 Drew And your girlfriend obviously lived a life of chaos, and no doubt her life is a no-doubt trauma survivor. This can be quite a bit to put up with, to handle it. A 17-year-old that's still trying to get his first job.

56:02 Adam Yes, yeah. No smoking at the beach. Because, Drew...

56:06 Drew Free country.

56:07 Adam Close your eyes and imagine a country where someone lit up a butt on 70 million cubic tons of sand.

56:14 Drew I'm disgusted just thinking about it.

56:15 Adam Think about it.

56:16 Drew How dare you? How make me think about such pornographic nonsense?

56:20 Adam Think about those guys on the beaches of Normandy during D-Day. Every one of them with a cigarette in their mouth.

56:26 Drew They'd get tickets.

56:27 Adam Yeah, they should be taken. Yeah, because those guys, horrible.

56:30 Drew They killed all their buddies. The ones who were breathing that deadly smoke around them.

56:34 Adam Yeah, second-hand smoke. That's what killed everyone in World War II. Yeah, just picture all those guys just dug in on the beach over there around D-Day lighting a butt up. Hmm, have to put an end to that. Yeah, those aren't the kind of guys we want. They weren't welcome home. Say that right now. We don't need those individuals. Eric?

56:52 Yes, sir.

56:52 Adam You're 25?

56:54 Caller Yep.

56:54 Adam What's up?

56:56 Caller My girlfriend leaves when we have sex. She leaves these huge puddles.

57:01 Caller Hmm. Now, is there a medical deal here? Do we need to get some checked out?

57:09 Adam Could be urine.

57:10 Drew Could be urine.

57:11 Adam What do you think it is?

57:13 Caller Who, me?

57:14 Drew Yeah. Yeah.

57:15 Caller I don't have any medical background, so I really don't know.

57:18 Adam I know, but a dog could figure it out.

57:21 Caller I mean, is it, you know, cum?

57:25 Adam Could be.

57:25 Drew Or it could be urine.

57:26 Adam Could be urine. What do you think?

57:29 Caller I don't know.

57:31 Adam I like a man who doesn't sweat the details. I mean, it could be, it's one or the other.

57:37 Drew Yes, one or the other.

57:40 Adam I think he's hoping it's ejaculate.

57:41 Drew I think it is.

57:43 Adam You think it is.

57:43 Drew I'm hoping for him.

57:45 Adam Yeah, because.

57:45 Drew More likely to be that.

57:46 Adam When you think it's ejaculation, it's like, wow, I really accomplished something. And then you find out it's urine and it's kind of like, oh. Yeah.

57:54 Drew Damn.

57:54 Adam Yeah, it's like if you found out you knocked out a guy in the ring or something, then found out later had a brain tumor. You're like, I guess it wasn't me.

58:02 Drew Feel a little guilty.

58:03 Adam Feel a little guilty too. Yeah, well, assume it's.

58:07 Drew Yeah.

58:08 Adam Assume it's ejaculate. It's true, I don't know. Are you sitting down, by the way? Yeah. I was watching news before I came out here.

58:14 Drew Yeah, that's making me. I've been following about that.

58:16 Adam You sitting down? Yeah. Trouble in the Middle East.

58:19 Drew No.

58:19 Adam Oh, yes. Yeah. Israel. Trouble with Palestinians.

58:24 Drew Yeah.

58:25 Adam Yeah.

58:25 Drew But. Any day now be solved.

58:27 Adam It's Thursday.

58:27 Drew Yeah.

58:27 Adam So.

58:28 Drew Dump in the weekend.

58:29 Adam Oh, for sure. Yeah. For sure. Yeah. As it's not the people. It's going to blow right by. No trouble. I've been working out.

58:36 Caller It's a couple of days now.

58:38 Adam I mean, they're due. Did you figure they're due? That's all I've been doing. I've had problems for 40 years or 4,000 years or 400,000 years. I, you know, it depends what era you want to go to. But any day now, they'll probably get some piece of paper they're going to sign and they're on it. That is it. They can't put. No, they can't judge. That important. Drew, you cannot judge. That's the important thing. And I'm sure those kids are going to have their proms work down just a matter of hours.

59:09 Drew Oh, yeah.

59:10 Adam It's probably done by now, actually.

59:11 Drew Yeah.

59:12 Adam All right. The trouble in the Middle East, but no big deal. Sorry, Drew. David?

59:18 Yes.

59:19 Adam You're 23?

59:20 Caller Yes.

59:20 Adam Broke up your 36 year old girlfriend?

59:23 Caller Yes.

59:24 Adam And you had kids with her?

59:26 Caller No, I didn't. She had kids from her previous marriage.

59:30 Adam All right. And why did you break up with her?

59:34 Caller Um, it was a lot of things like her, she had, you know, kids from a previous relationship.

59:43 Adam Hold on a second. Let me get this straight. Are you saying there were kids from a previous relationship?

59:48 Caller Yes.

59:49 Adam Because that's news just like Trouble in the Middle East, Drew. By the way, let me just say this. Do we need to run the Trouble in the Middle East story or how about we'll just assume it's a hellish pit of insane violence and then you let us know when it stops? That should be the story. Until otherwise, it's like water in the ocean. When it dries up, ring my phone. Until then, I'm going to assume it's there. Let's do it. When there's not Trouble in the Middle East, that's when you guys need to fire up the cameras. Then when you got nothing to show, then you know. Because you telling us there's Trouble, completely unnecessary. Drew, close your eyes. Picture the Middle East. You see Trouble?

1:00:37 Drew No. Yeah, a little bit. Yeah, that's right.

1:00:40 Adam So someone should tell you when it stops, right? Until then, we'll assume it's going on. All right, David?

1:00:48 Caller Yeah.

1:00:49 Adam All right. So now, I have this eerie premonition that your ex-girlfriend had children from a previous relationship.

1:00:59 Caller Yes.

1:00:59 Adam Yes. And so now you've broken up with her.

1:01:03 Caller After, it was going to be about three years.

1:01:07 Adam Three years?

1:01:08 Caller Yeah.

1:01:09 Adam And what's the question?

1:01:12 Caller She always brought up the subject that it could actually work out, you know. And I always thought, there was just no way.

1:01:20 Drew How did you hook up with this woman?

1:01:23 Caller We met at...

1:01:24 Adam I got a better question. How'd this call make it through the screen? Drew's angry. Now, that's not going to sound like a prick, but I had a girlfriend for three years when we broke up. And she always thought it could work out. Does he want to get back together with her? David, do you want to get back with her?

1:01:44 Caller My question is...

1:01:46 Adam David, do you want to get back with her? It was funny, but I said, do you want to get back with her?

1:01:57 Caller Yeah.

1:01:58 Adam You do?

1:02:00 Drew Well, she wants to make it work out too, right? Yeah.

1:02:04 Adam All right.

1:02:05 Caller So, situation that happened, they're just out of control, out of my hands. You know, like she has daughters that are closer to my age, you know? And I just feel weird every time I see them with their boyfriends and...

1:02:23 Drew Do you want this to work out or don't you?

1:02:25 Caller Huh?

1:02:25 Drew Do you want this to work out, yes or no?

1:02:29 Adam All right, listen, David, I'm gonna answer for you.

1:02:32 Caller All right.

1:02:32 Adam Here's the thing. This is what you call an advanced project and you're in relationship 101. And you're in over your head. Not a bad thing, you're 23. This is a lot to be working out when you're 23. Yeah. You need yourself a nice 19 year old junior college student who wants to do nothing but party, smoke a little reefer, give you a little oral, down a few wine coolers and go take in a movie.

1:03:08 Caller You got a whole.

1:03:12 Adam Yeah, you're in with the kids and the fighting and the ex-husband and the baggage and the stretch marks. And the girls' boyfriends and God knows what you want to do to those daughters too. Yeah.

1:03:25 Caller So that's exactly what's happening.

1:03:28 Caller Yeah, well.

1:03:29 Drew This is a huge imagination to pick us out.

1:03:31 Adam Yeah. So here's the thing. You broke up, that's the hard part. You, it's like, if you're a drug addict, and Drew, don't correct me, cause I'm on a roll here, so just quiet down. You're a drug addict, you've now, you've gone through the withdrawal. You checked yourself in, you've kicked it. You're off, you're off it. That's enough. Let's keep going. Now don't pick it back up. Let's keep going. Don't step it back, come on, break it down, buddy. Let's go, David. Hey, let me tell you something, gentlemen. Don't use that term loosely. Gentlemen, that helmet, not a chair, not a chair. David, you're a 23 year old guy, you got a lot on the ball. I bet you even got that very trendy, greasy bang look that all the ladies like, yes? Yeah. Short cropped, short cropped around the side with the super greasy bang look. It's a hot look. You see all the big celebrities are there. All the big celebrities, George Clooney wears a greasy bang look. It's all, they all wear it. They're all the heartthrobs. Brad Pitt, you've seen him with that greasy bang look. All right, and the weird choker. Yeah, so here's the thing. Go find yourself a nice 20 year old chick and enjoy. And don't get her pregnant. Yeah, the greasy bang looks.

1:04:35 Drew Well, everything is shaved except for the weird.

1:04:38 Adam The weird. Well, yeah, it started looking like a cockatiel. That's that great look. The super shaved on the side. That's that weird sort of half a gang banger thing. I think that's a Los Angeles thing. It's a Latino thing. A super shaved on the side and then the weird cockatiel like weird half curled bufanti thing on the front. Not sure what that's about. Not sure how bad haircuts come into vogue when you don't turn on entertainment tonight and see anybody with these haircuts. Look, here's all I'm saying. Back in the day, you remember Jennifer Aniston, first couple seasons of Friends. She would have a haircut. The girls would watch that hair, watch the show and go, oh, that had haircut. Now they look like an idiot because that's not the part of Jennifer we're interested in. But the point is, is they had her hair fine, so be it. Because they look good on her.

1:05:32 Drew And they do it for themselves and for other women.

1:05:35 Adam But here's the point. If you ever turn on the TV and seen that bad, greasy bang look that all the guys in the Midwest have, whenever they do those, you know, whenever they do those stories like a football camp, the high school football camp where the hazing went bad, and they're sitting there with the family and they're like, well, we never heard of something called teabagging until Johnny came home and told us there was some, there was something called Dirty Sanchez and a salad being tossed and Spelunking and the guy sitting there and it's always that same big melon headed kid with the greasy forehead, the greasy bang look. And I always think, who's got that luck? You turn out, what's your favorite? You turn on the OC last week. Do you see the greasy bang look? You watch the movies, you see if there's Brad Pitt with the greasy bang look.

1:06:23 Drew Yeah, but who's got the 4,000 pierces? Who's got hardware hanging all over themself?

1:06:28 Adam Yeah, but at least they're making a statement there. This is the same crazy bang is not the statement. That's look, I'm 16, I'm trying to get laid. This is the best way I know how. Yeah, no, cause these aren't like covered with tats or some gang bangers or anything like that. These are just corn fed white dudes from the Midwest who are looking to pick up a little tail. Going with the greasy bang look. Who's look is that? And what, oh, by the way, what lady lets a guy get away with that? Like, listen ladies, here's your job. Drew, you don't get to leave the house without your wife telling you what tie to wear and what to put on. You're not gonna wear that. Go take that off, go change that.

1:07:05 Drew Sure.

1:07:05 Adam And by the way, we look at that as an act of love.

1:07:07 Drew We rely on that, absolutely.

1:07:09 Adam Yeah, they measure us. They're our yardstick. They're Mr. Blackwell, but we don't have to worry about the weird gay aspects of that relationship. We got to know Mr. Blackwell. By the way, do the ladies need to freak out when we tell them that dress looks a little whatever? After years of them telling us, yeah. You dutifully, you run upstairs.

1:07:28 Drew Absolutely.

1:07:29 Adam You come down. You come down in a sport coat and a tie that doesn't quite sync up. Your wife says, that coat's not cutting it. Go get the brown one. You hustle upstairs to get it. A little ashamed.

1:07:41 Drew Yeah, and confused, doing, how do I do?

1:07:42 Adam Wanting to please.

1:07:43 Drew Yeah, please tell me, please tell me what I do.

1:07:45 Adam Yeah, you tell them, you tell them that red dress, not looking so great. How about you put the blue one on?

1:07:49 Drew How dare you?

1:07:51 Adam That's anger now? Oh yes. What do you really say? What do you mean? What are they really saying? When they tell you to switch your jacket? Oh, please. All right, anyway, ladies, the guys, your boyfriends with the greasy bang look, tell them to do something with that.

1:08:05 Drew Don't even tell them to take the scissors.

1:08:07 Adam Yeah, in their sleep, shave their head. Now look, if they have some horrible scar on their forehead or something.

1:08:14 Drew We can go the rest of the scalp out too then.

1:08:16 Adam Yeah. Engineer Chris, what's with that greasy bang look all those meatheads in the Midwest have? It's crazy. It's the worst goddamn haircut I've ever seen in my life. What are guys into that for? And as I said, where's all the, where's all the teens? There's a bunch of guys in your favorite bands is Good Charlotte, they all have the crazy greasy bang look. Newfound Glory is all, all the bands you listen to is it all the greasy bang look? All right, all right, let's move forward Drew. Now let's take a break. But I want everyone to think about the greasy bang look.

1:08:50 Drew No thanks.

1:08:51 Adam Okay, we'll take a quick break, we'll be right back. 1-800-LOVE-191. Hey, buddy, it's Adam.

1:09:01 Drew And I'm Dr. Drew.

1:09:02 Adam Here to talk about Axe Deodorant Body Spray.

1:09:05 Drew Yes, sir.

1:09:06 Adam You spray that on, you give stink the axe. Yeah, it's Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. Nelly Furtado has left the building. Drew, you better hope your sons don't go for that greasy bang look.

1:09:32 Drew I'm thinking about nothing else.

1:09:33 Adam They may be. You know, they got the hair's the right color and it's the right texture. I'm going to see if I can talk them into that look.

1:09:42 Drew Yeah, you won't be talking to them.

1:09:43 Adam That's a great look. That with the silver ball choker. That's nice. That's a great look. It's fantastic. By the way, if you want to look like, if you want to turn your 10-gallon head into a 15-gallon head, that's how you do it. Get the real tight choker and comb the bangs down and buzz aside.

1:10:03 Drew Turn your squash head into a melon head.

1:10:06 Adam Yeah. Your head goes from jumbo to novelty size. It's great.

1:10:12 Drew It's great.

1:10:12 Adam It looks hot. Amy?

1:10:15 Drew Hello.

1:10:16 Adam You're 25.

1:10:17 Caller Yes.

1:10:18 Adam What's up?

1:10:20 Caller I can't believe I got through here, guys.

1:10:22 Adam That's all right.

1:10:24 Caller I'm engaged.

1:10:27 Caller I love him to death.

1:10:28 Adam All right.

1:10:28 Caller But I'm always pushing away.

1:10:30 Caller I have like zero sex drive.

1:10:34 Adam Did you ever have? Hold on. Did you ever have a sex drive?

1:10:38 Caller Yeah.

1:10:39 Drew When did it stop?

1:10:41 Caller What's that?

1:10:42 Drew When did it stop?

1:10:43 Caller I guess it's just periodic.

1:10:45 Caller Maybe just because he wants it all the time.

1:10:47 Caller And I'm just like maybe once a week, twice a week.

1:10:51 Drew This is how women get sometimes when guys... You understand something. This is his biology. And rather than looking at him sort of objectifying you or pushing himself on you, how about you think of it as something that needs to be taken care of? You know what I'm saying? That you're gonna be married to him. This is his rhythm. This is his biology. It's something that you're gonna need to sort of address as a part of him, as a real part of him.

1:11:18 Adam Paging, Dr. Passion.

1:11:20 Drew Not as something that he's foisting on you and not that he's objectifying you, not that it has any reflection of how he feels about you. It's just his biology.

1:11:28 Caller Yeah. It's normal for me to not wanna jump all over him all the time.

1:11:33 Drew Yes, that's normal, but it's not- Yeah, it's your biology. It was not a great sign that you're feeling resentful and rejecting, and you're not even married yet.

1:11:42 Adam Well, yeah. And is there any reason that we need to know about as far as your past goes as to why you've slowed down a little sexually?

1:11:52 Caller Are you a Mormon?

1:11:53 Adam Smoked pot? All right. All right.

1:11:56 Caller And-

1:11:57 Drew Taking a medication?

1:11:59 Caller No, I'm taking a new birth control. It's the NuvoRing.

1:12:04 Adam No, the NuvoRing. I thought you said it's maneuvering.

1:12:07 Caller Like where's it going? NuvoRing.

1:12:10 Adam And how do you get that up there?

1:12:15 Caller Just like a tampon.

1:12:16 Adam Oh really?

1:12:17 Caller Yeah.

1:12:17 Drew Push it up.

1:12:18 Adam Native with a blow gun?

1:12:20 Caller Yeah.

1:12:20 Adam That's how tampons go, right? All right. And you weren't ever, you love your parents, you love your daddy? He's all right. No abuse? No. Okay.

1:12:32 Drew All right.

1:12:33 Adam Well, see, the reason why I'm not harping on that is, A, she doesn't sound like it.

1:12:36 Drew Yeah.

1:12:37 Adam She sounds happy and whatever. B, once, twice a week. 25 year old chicks sounds about right. The problem is, is this spins out because he becomes obsessed with it, it becomes sort of a full time job. He starts pawing, she starts retreating. And before you know it, what would have been twice a week it goes down to twice a month. And it becomes what you call vicious cycle. Someone needs to talk to him and tell him to sort of...

1:13:07 Drew Think about back rubs and flowers. Realize that although you like her a certain way, that ain't where her head's at. Just the way she needs to sort of address your genuine biological needs, you need to address her emotional needs.

1:13:20 Adam Back rubs and flowers. All right. Yeah, work that angle. Here's the reality. If, and Drew, tell me what you think of this. If you can do flowers just because, and if you could do like a back rub or some sort of whip up a bath or something like that, just because, and not want any sex that night, like not ask for it, not push for it. Don't, she'll take the flowers in the tub or the back rub, it'll be like a bribe. She'll feel like a politician is trying to be bribed.

1:13:55 Drew Right, so it's not full of that too.

1:13:56 Adam How dare you try to buy me? No, if you can do a flower and a back rub or a tub drawn tub with some salts or candles or other crap they put in there, and not try to get some that night, you're almost guaranteed some the following night or possibly that night if you don't push for it. Yes?

1:14:16 Drew You're good for a week after that.

1:14:18 Adam You get a whole week? Every day?

1:14:20 Drew No, no, but I mean, it'll be a good week.

1:14:22 Adam It'll be a good week, it'll be a good week, yeah. And that's why I never do that, I never. Even though I know it'll be a good week, it's...

1:14:32 Drew That's what she's thinking. What do I need to do to get him around for that week?

1:14:35 Adam Nick?

1:14:36 Caller Yeah.

1:14:36 Adam You're 23?

1:14:37 Caller I am.

1:14:38 Adam What's up?

1:14:41 Caller Nothing. Nothing, I just am calling the show tonight. I'm really addicted to Oxycontin and I've just, I don't know what to do to...

1:14:56 Adam How much of it do you take?

1:14:59 Caller 80 milligrams a day.

1:15:01 Drew 80, it's pretty standard.

1:15:02 Adam Standard? Now, how many pills is that usually?

1:15:05 Caller Before? Just one, no, it's one.

1:15:07 Drew We do 180?

1:15:08 Caller Yeah.

1:15:08 Adam 180.

1:15:09 Drew 180 milligram pill.

1:15:11 Adam Like time release?

1:15:12 Drew Yeah, they're all time. That's what Oxycontin is, a time release pill.

1:15:15 Adam But 80 sounds like a lot of...

1:15:17 Drew It's the biggest dose they have.

1:15:20 Adam And that's if you have severe pain and...

1:15:22 Drew Severe cancer.

1:15:24 Adam Just cancer?

1:15:25 Drew I mean, that's what it's designed for, it's cancer medicine.

1:15:28 Adam Oh, it is? Hold on, Nick. For cancer?

1:15:30 Drew Yeah, cancer pain.

1:15:31 Adam Oh, I just thought it was pain.

1:15:33 Drew No, I mean, because it's so addictive and such, you know, long acting. It's really meant for people that have serious pain that needs, you know, treatment regardless of the consequences.

1:15:43 Adam Oh, I didn't know it was that much different than, you know, like Vicodin or something.

1:15:49 Drew It's not that much, but you can get much higher doses over much longer periods of time.

1:15:52 Adam Oh, really? So the Oxycontin was originally made for people that are undergoing cancer treatment.

1:15:58 Drew That's originally where it was thought to be used mostly, just people that have terminal pain that just needs to be controlled no matter what.

1:16:04 Adam Well, you learn. Nick?

1:16:06 Drew And it's a great medicine for that, by the way.

1:16:08 Adam I'm gonna keep my fingers crossed. Do you have cancer?

1:16:11 Caller No.

1:16:12 Drew Oh, damn.

1:16:13 Adam I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

1:16:14 Drew So you need to get yourself in a hospital and get detoxed and get in the program.

1:16:19 Caller Well, I've gone, you know, I've gone like two weeks without it, but you know, for some reason, I just, there's nothing I can do to stop not to just try to get it in my system. I just, I can't hold still. I can, that's all I can do is just think about it.

1:16:34 Drew Yeah, what do you think addiction is, Nick? That's what addiction is. It's an obsession. It's a preoccupation. It's a motivational shift. It's your, your reward systems are completely whacked chemically and you need to be treated in a hospital, in a structured environment.

1:16:50 Adam Yeah, where do you get it?

1:16:52 Caller Street.

1:16:54 Adam Street.

1:16:55 Caller Yeah.

1:16:55 Adam Well, how about Nick? I mean, you know, you really sound like you're struggling here and you're, you sound like someone who wants to take care of a problem. So by the way, what do you think Drew was going to say?

1:17:06 Drew Are you a Mormon?

1:17:08 Caller Yes.

1:17:09 Adam Okay, he's a Mormon.

1:17:11 Caller Well, you know, I've done college and I've taken psychology courses and stuff like that. And I've gone to AA meetings in school, never for myself.

1:17:27 Drew Yeah, Nick, Nick, give it up. Get treatment. Get treatment. I deal with this disease every day. You need to be somewhere. You're taking a couple of psychology classes, looking at AA meetings, it's not gonna help you.

1:17:38 Adam How about a brochure for the great magnet? All right, where should he go? What should he do? What's your first step when you open the phone book, go to an AA meeting?

1:17:47 Drew You can either consult with a psychiatrist.

1:17:49 Adam An AA meeting.

1:17:50 Drew You can go to an AA meeting, ask around at the AA meeting where there are good doctors or facilities for treating addiction and just go. And slow yourself on the process.

1:17:57 Adam In general, if you have no money, no resources, no insurance, should you just find the closest AA, NA, CA meeting, you'll go there. And how do you find the closest one of those?

1:18:08 Drew Just call phone book, just call AA. And AA usually will have directors for other kinds of 12-step meetings.

1:18:13 Caller What percent?

1:18:15 Drew Somebody will come pick you up and take you to a meeting and then you start talking. I ask people where you can go, what's available to good treatments.

1:18:21 Adam What percentage of like Vicodin, Oxycontin, Loratabs, what percentage of these things do you think are illegal?

1:18:32 Drew The people who are addicted to oral pain medication, what percentage of them don't get it from doctors?

1:18:37 Adam I'm just saying, I'm just saying, and maybe you have no idea, but if Pfizer makes one of these or Upjohn or, I don't know who makes these drugs, but let's just say they make 20 million units a year. You think half of that's going into the wrong mouth? Cause it really does seem like, it seems like obviously it's a smaller percentage of people that are taking it without a medical reason, but they take a large percentage. You know, they're taking a lot.

1:19:07 Drew Yeah.

1:19:08 Adam And you talk to those.

1:19:09 Drew It's hard to come up with that number, because a lot of people are addicted by the medical system, by doctors.

1:19:14 Adam Yeah, but I'm just saying, I mean, you're treating people who are getting into Vicodin and taking 80 or 100 pills a day.

1:19:21 Drew Yeah.

1:19:22 Adam And you start spreading them out over-

1:19:24 Drew But most of them are getting it from doctors. They're not getting it. So it's your question, what percentage of the total number of circulatory pain pills- Don't need to be taken. Yeah. 10, 20%, that would be my guess.

1:19:35 Adam 10 seems a little low.

1:19:36 Drew It is a little low, 10, 20%, 20%.

1:19:37 Adam Like I said, you gotta look at the one guy who's taking 100 a day as taking up 150 or whatever, people that are taking it. He's taking way more than a share. He doesn't just count as one. And the businesses that make these products, I mean, I know they say, oh, well, you know, we give class, we give instructions, we do this, we do that, we don't want this, and we don't want that. And I'm not saying they do, but I'm just saying, you're making a product and you're putting out 20, 25% more of that product every year.

1:20:09 Drew Well, you can ask the same thing about alcohol.

1:20:11 Adam Well, it's assumed that everyone takes alcohol as at least trying to catch a buzz.

1:20:16 Drew Trying to use it inappropriately.

1:20:17 Adam Hold on a second, let me do some math. Yep, 23 minutes for I begin that journey. But the point is-

1:20:23 Drew You like to get home, can't you?

1:20:24 Adam Yeah, and I know alcohol does the same thing whereas nice winemakers will make wines with the screw cap that's basically geared towards selling it to the guy in the street. I mean, it's the night train or the Thunderbird or whatever the fortified wine is. Yeah, they know what they're doing and people, maybe they should be outraged by that. I don't know what the drug companies are supposed to do. It just seems to me that if you manufacture, that this has to be a windfall. If you manufacture Vicodin and you end up selling 40% more product over the course of five years just because everyone and their mother's gotten hold of this stuff and is doing it, that's just, that's money in your pocket. I don't know what the downside is. Maybe it gets pulled off the shelves. I don't know how it works. And the same, by the way, with, you know, a lot of these boner medications. I mean, those, think about what's going on with those.

1:21:24 Drew Yeah, that's true.

1:21:25 Adam Like Viagra.

1:21:26 Drew And then we've got something like Serizone, which is a fantastic antidepressant. There've been seven cases of liver problems. It's gonna take this goddamn medicine off the market now. So an entire population has to be sent reeling. I am furious about this.

1:21:41 Adam Drew's Outrage. Engineer Chris is beside himself. Yeah. He doesn't know what we're talking about. He's listening to the John and Jeff show through his headphones.

1:21:53 Drew Got no doubt. He's not listening to this show.

1:21:54 Adam No.

1:21:54 Drew He's laughing.

1:21:55 Adam Yeah. Ashley?

1:22:00 Drew Hi.

1:22:01 Adam What's happening, baby doll?

1:22:02 Caller Hello.

1:22:04 Adam Yeah.

1:22:05 Caller Yes. I have a problem.

1:22:07 Adam All right.

1:22:09 Caller I've been in a relationship for six months, well, seven months, going on seven months. And I'm in love with my boyfriend. I love him dearly.

1:22:16 Drew Of course. Dear, dear, dear.

1:22:18 Adam What's the problem?

1:22:20 Caller But in the beginning of the relationship, I messed up and I cheated on him.

1:22:25 Drew How much into the relationship was this?

1:22:28 Caller Uh, like the first month.

1:22:31 Caller I bet a lot of people do that.

1:22:33 Adam Yeah, that happens a lot. And as much as you think is we might come down on that, but we don't really think it doesn't count.

1:22:39 Drew Cause it's people are not really sure the relationship is gonna take. There's something left over from the previous, there's sort of an overlap period. There's a safety issue. And I'm not gonna leave this one behind and be alone.

1:22:50 Caller Okay, but I'm not finished. Like I'm still cheating on him, like right now.

1:22:56 Caller Oh no, you didn't.

1:22:57 Drew Well, that's an intimacy problem.

1:22:59 Adam And that's, you still cheating with the same guy you were cheating with six months ago?

1:23:03 Caller It's the same guy.

1:23:04 Adam Now is this same guy an old boyfriend or just a guy you met?

1:23:07 Caller A guy I met while being with my boyfriend I am with now. But I don't love, I don't love like the guy I'm cheating with.

1:23:17 Drew And you don't love your boyfriend either?

1:23:18 Adam No.

1:23:19 Caller Yes, I do.

1:23:21 Adam It's great love.

1:23:22 Drew Yeah.

1:23:23 Adam And here's the, well, if there's a third guy then it'd be time to get married. According to your logic. Now listen, here's what's going on. You have trouble with intimacy. It's uncomfortable for you.

1:23:36 Drew So somebody you actually do like a lot, you're going to either sabotage that or you sort of reserve a part of yourself to be bad. Yeah, you can't show them the bad part of yourself.

1:23:46 Adam You need a second penis buffer between you. And I used to use the penis buffer as a crutch myself.

1:23:52 Caller It's funny because the guy I'm cheating with, he's actually better in bed than my boyfriend.

1:23:58 Drew Yeah, but he's the bad guy.

1:24:02 Adam And by the way, those guys, they always show up because it's like your first day on the job. You get to have sex once every few weeks. And by the way, you got to be good because that's the relationship.

1:24:13 Drew That's the reason he's there.

1:24:14 Adam Yeah. Once that goes south, no reason to sneak around anymore.

1:24:19 Drew Yeah, actually, this is not good.

1:24:20 Adam Where's your dad?

1:24:22 Caller My father passed away.

1:24:23 Adam What happened?

1:24:25 Caller He was killed.

1:24:27 Caller Who killed him?

1:24:29 Caller Some guy.

1:24:31 Drew How old were you?

1:24:34 Adam And he was murdered?

1:24:36 Caller Yeah.

1:24:36 Drew That's a drug deal.

1:24:39 Adam Something's wrong there. What's up with your dad?

1:24:42 Caller What's up with my dad?

1:24:43 Adam Yeah. What was he into?

1:24:44 Drew Isn't everybody's dad murdered? Adam was mad at you.

1:24:46 Caller No, he was a police officer, actually.

1:24:48 Adam Oh, you see, Drew, I'll see you in hell. And he was killed in the line of duty?

1:24:54 Caller Exactly. But, I mean...

1:24:57 Adam Yeah?

1:24:58 Caller I don't think it has anything to do with my dad. Because I've never been the one to cheat. This is like the only relationship I've ever cheated.

1:25:06 Adam All right. Look, I'm going to give you two scenarios and only two. It's not a multiple choice. It's just an A or a B.

1:25:15 Caller Okay.

1:25:17 Adam Is A and B still multiple choice?

1:25:19 Drew Yes. Yeah.

1:25:20 Adam That is? Yes or no?

1:25:21 Drew I'm going to give you two choices.

1:25:22 Adam Then I'll look at yes or no. That's not multiple choice.

1:25:25 Drew No.

1:25:25 Adam Could two just be multiple?

1:25:28 Drew For the purposes of this evening, yes. I don't want to avoid further discussion.

1:25:32 Adam I'm saying it's not a multiple. It's not A, B or C or D or all the above.

1:25:35 Caller No, no, no, no.

1:25:37 Adam Well, it's like a couple. You know, a couple's two, but you do think of more. If I said, give me a couple M and M's, you gave me two, I'd be pissed.

1:25:43 Drew Yeah.

1:25:44 Adam Multiple. This is not multiple. Here's my point, A or B, either you're just not into this guy. You're just not in love with him the way you say you are.

1:25:54 Drew And by the way, as a corollary to that too, which is you're not ready to be involved with someone right now. You may not just not be, you may not be just him.

1:26:00 Adam Don't make me do a C, Drew. That's just A. You're not into it. You say you are.

1:26:05 Drew For whatever reason.

1:26:05 Adam But you're not. B, you are into this guy and you're too freaked out by it. You can't tolerate it. It's too intimate. So you have to keep that other guy who sort of acts as a third wheel the buff buffer between you and your intimacy and the feelings you would have.

1:26:22 Caller All right.

1:26:22 Adam It's either one, one or two of those.

1:26:24 Caller That's right.

1:26:26 Adam It's B.

1:26:26 Drew Yeah.

1:26:28 Caller All right.

1:26:28 Adam So now you have to confront those feelings.

1:26:32 Drew The only way that's going to happen. What?

1:26:34 Caller It's easier said than done.

1:26:36 Drew Sure. Yeah. You can stop. You can stop cheating. You can actually be in this relationship and if you can't tolerate it, then end it. But you're losing something you really care about and that would be a horrible loss.

1:26:46 Adam It's going to be painful, but it's a good opportunity to do that.

1:26:48 Drew I mean, that's how you grow. You get involved with people that are a new sort of frontier of relationship for you, a new kind of relationship, a new quality of the relationship.

1:26:59 Adam Well, I don't want to sound preachy, kiddies, but here's the thing. All your growth opportunities come from a little adversity. If you go through your life avoiding those situations, then you got nothing.

1:27:15 Drew Really, those situations are with other people in relationships. That's where growth occurs.

1:27:19 Caller Yes. All right.

1:27:20 Adam We'll take a break. We'll be right back. Love Line.

1:27:24 Caller 1-800-LOVE-191.

1:27:26 Caller Let's go!

1:27:45 Adam Hey, everybody, it's the Loveline, I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. Poe number 18, ah, forget about that. Gonna go spar with Layman Brewster tomorrow.

1:27:55 Drew That is cool.

1:27:56 Adam Yeah, WBO heavyweight champ. It's gonna be fun. Cause I get to beat, I get to try to beat him up, but he can't hit me. Well, a little bit.

1:28:06 Drew He's got, oh, just one. Little bit. Think what that's gonna feel like.

1:28:09 Adam I know what it feels like. I don't know where I got the head gear. Let's talk about that head gear. Everyone thinks that's like some sort of pad. It's really, you know what a head gear's for? It's really for not getting cut.

1:28:22 Caller Oh really?

1:28:23 Adam Doesn't really think about it.

1:28:25 Caller Yeah.

1:28:26 Drew You're still taking the blow to your head.

1:28:27 Adam It's pretty much the same blow. It's like Troy Aikman wore a helmet, got knocked out five times. But man, better not. But what, one thing that people really don't know about boxing is they put the headgear on so they don't cut themselves.

1:28:43 Drew Interesting.

1:28:44 Adam Cause you'll whack foreheads with a guy. You get cut. I mean, it's a little bit, but nah. It's more about the cuts.

1:28:53 Drew What do you mean, whacking foreheads? How come that doesn't happen during the fight?

1:28:57 Adam It does happen during the fight, it happens a lot. There's a lot of cuts during the fight.

1:29:02 Drew But it's from whacking foreheads?

1:29:04 Adam It's from, yeah, it's from headbots.

1:29:07 Drew Really?

1:29:08 Adam Most of the time.

1:29:09 Drew I had no idea.

1:29:10 Adam Oh, yeah.

1:29:10 Drew I thought it was all just blows.

1:29:13 Adam Once in a while, but it's normally forehead on forehead. Oh, almost exclusively.

1:29:18 Caller How interesting.

1:29:20 Adam Sometimes gloves, but mostly head stuff. Yeah, they got rules and stuff. If it happens before the fourth round, it goes, after it goes to the scorecards and there's accidental and intentional and whole part.

1:29:31 Caller I had no idea.

1:29:32 Adam Oh yeah, it's good times. Rose?

1:29:35 Caller Yes?

1:29:36 Adam You're 25?

1:29:37 Caller Yes.

1:29:38 Adam What's up?

1:29:40 Caller Okay, basically I had a question for Dr. Drew regarding STD testing. I'm with my first partner. I just started having sex last year. He has been with a few other people. So we've been using condoms, but we want to stop doing that. So we set up an appointment with him for Planned Parenthood. And they basically like the testing that they did was just really minimal. Like they didn't test for HIV and they only tested for like two or three things. And we were just concerned, like it didn't seem like it was enough, but I've never been through that. So I don't know.

1:30:09 Adam We meaning you and your boobs or? When you say we, you mean you.

1:30:15 Caller My boyfriend and I.

1:30:16 Adam Yeah, but he's not that concerned.

1:30:18 Drew He's just going through the motions for you.

1:30:19 Adam He doesn't think he has AIDS. He just wants to get rid of the condom.

1:30:23 Drew So it's you that's pushing all this.

1:30:24 Adam You're concerned.

1:30:29 Caller I'm sorry. I didn't realize I was on air with you guys. I thought I got another screener.

1:30:35 Adam I know. Well, listen, we heard you the first time. Here's the thing, Rose. I'm sure he doesn't have anything, but here's what I'm more interested in. You lost your virginity at 25. 25 years of age.

1:30:52 Caller Yes.

1:30:53 Adam And you seem to have some energy about where this guy's been and what he could have. And I'm connecting those two things. And I'm wondering what's up with you.

1:31:03 Caller I'm not really sure what you want to know.

1:31:05 Drew Why are you so anxious? Why are you so nervous?

1:31:07 Caller Well, I'm a little nervous about being on the phone.

1:31:10 Adam In general.

1:31:11 Drew Anxious about being sexually active.

1:31:15 Caller I don't think I am. We haven't had any problems with it so far. I mean, I'm not uncomfortable having sex with her.

1:31:20 Adam By the way, hold on a second. Look, Rose sounds sweet as a rose. She sounds like a delight. But listen, you maintain your virginity until age 25, which is fully a double our average Loveline listener and caller in terms of losing their hymen. And now you got a guy and you went down and took him to Planned Parenthood. They said, yeah, he finally checks out and everything's good. And it's like, that's not good enough. You want more tests.

1:31:50 Drew That's what we're clueless about. All right, here's the part I like.

1:31:54 Adam I'm curious about the part where you're like, huh? What?

1:31:56 Drew Yeah.

1:31:57 Adam Me? You got some energy in this department. There's just, I'm not, it's semi-responsible, but not totally. There's energy here. We're trying to figure out what it is. Rose?

1:32:09 Caller Yes.

1:32:10 Adam So what's up?

1:32:12 Caller Okay, well, I was just curious because I have never been in this situation. Basically, all I wanted to know was, I'm wondering if what he received was a typical exam.

1:32:22 Drew Here's the deal. Some people do not wanna see things as they are.

1:32:26 Adam I'm sorry. Rose, you're wearing rose-colored glasses, by the way. You have energy with this. Why do you think you remained a virgin until 25?

1:32:37 Caller I basically just never found anybody that I was comfortable enough with.

1:32:41 Drew That's good.

1:32:42 Caller I had opportunities, but-

1:32:44 Adam No, I know, but you didn't take them because you weren't comfortable.

1:32:47 Drew All right, let's just finish the question. What were the four that they tested him for?

1:32:51 Caller They tested him for syphilis and gonorrhea and chlamydia.

1:32:55 Drew That's three.

1:32:57 Caller I'm sorry?

1:32:57 Drew Syphilis, gonorrhea, chlamydia, and what was the fourth?

1:32:59 Caller Those are the only three, yeah.

1:33:01 Drew So the only thing he missed is HIV.

1:33:03 Caller Well, there you go. HIV, well, I'm just wondering personally, I'm wondering, I'm just concerned. I was just, what surprised that there's no test for hepatitis or HPV or- There's no test? They didn't give him like, they just took a little blood and a little bit of urine, basically, and I was just surprised- I'm sorry.

1:33:19 Drew Rose, you're so anxious. You're so anxious. That is all the testing they can do. All right. If he, it doesn't mean he doesn't have HPV, there's no way to-

1:33:27 Adam Let him go get, go give him the full battery, but Rose, something's up with you. You should please look into that, would ya?

1:33:33 Caller Dude, I seriously, I had no idea it wasn't on the air.

1:33:37 Adam All right, all right, all right. We gotta take a little break. We'll be right back.

1:33:41 Caller Okay, so I know there's nothing wrong with me. So what's up? Why can't I meet anybody?

1:33:47 Caller But I tried everything else and thought, what the hell?

1:33:55 Caller 877-889-DATE.

1:34:03 Caller This hour brought to you in part by Axe. Experience the Axe Effect.

1:34:23 Adam Well, that's it, everybody. I want to thank Jenna Lewis is coming in from Survivor. Is that the blonde one or the hot one? Blonde one. Oh, she went down to number four. She's coming in, or three. She's coming in Sunday. I want to thank producer Ann. I want to thank Junior, Junior, producer Lauren. I want to thank engineer Chris, engineer Anderson, and of course, Brian, the phone screener. And until next time, this is Adam Carolla for Dr. Drew, saying mahalo, a little oral, down a few wine coolers, and go take in a movie. You got a whole...

1:35:09 Caller This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or this station. The producer for Loveline is Annie Gold. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Thursday, May 20, 2004