Episode 1000613333920

0:54 Voiceover Loveline may contain sexually oriented content. Listener discretion is advised.

1:00 Loveline with Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew.

1:04 I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew.

1:05 Adam Phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1- Dr. Drew, board-certified physician, addiction medicine specialist, Chris Pontius, and Steve-O here tonight from Wildboys on Sunday nights, 10.30. Doing good. Good to see you, guys.

1:24 Drew Steve left behind some remarkable drops from last time you visited us. Yeah, he did.

1:29 Guest Some drops.

1:30 Drew Yeah, some comments.

1:31 Adam Probably some droppings as well.

1:32 Drew Some droppings. We had to clean those up.

1:33 Guest Hey, Drew, why is it that when you rub your balls while you're jerking off that it feels so much better?

1:38 Drew I haven't noticed that.

1:41 I noticed it yesterday.

1:45 Guest You know, I couldn't believe that Dr. Drew wasn't aware that a marijuana high enhances orgasms.

1:51 Adam Yeah.

1:52 Drew Some people. Then it starts going down the other side. It starts, you do it too much, it goes the other way.

1:58 That's why you mix it with cocaine.

2:04 Guest You know, I did get one major case of noodle, you can't say noodle, and then, noodle, you know what I mean? The old wet noodle, the dumbest time, dude.

2:15 Adam Is that from booze or coke?

2:17 Guest The pot. Yeah, well, I was on Bourbon Street, dude.

2:20 Adam Oh, really?

2:22 Guest Yeah. So, I guess let's talk about love, dude.

2:25 Adam Yeah, let's talk about love. Well, let's talk about a few things. I was just looking here, by the way, and saw that Steve-O graduated from the Ringling Brothers in Barnum Bailey College.

2:36 Drew Didn't know that.

2:36 Guest Clown College.

2:38 Drew They teach stapling and things like that?

2:41 Guest No, but...

2:43 Adam Did you graduate?

2:44 Guest How long is that?

2:44 Adam How long is the course?

2:45 Guest It's more like boot camp than it is really college. It's like only eight weeks to get through.

2:49 Did you ever do it with any of the other clowns?

2:53 Guest Well, I mean...

2:54 You got another question, weirdo?

2:56 Guest Did I do it with them? Oh, did I do it with them? Yeah, yeah, I humped a clown.

3:02 Adam You did?

3:02 Guest Yeah, but not in makeup, so it doesn't count.

3:06 Drew That's true, it doesn't count.

3:08 Adam Didn't have big paddle shoes or anything?

3:09 Guest Yeah, no, I never got too freaky when I was in makeup.

3:13 Adam Also, I saw Steve-O... I catch him once in a while on the Playboy channel. I see his semi-wrecked penis. It's always...

3:22 Guest It's always pointing to the left.

3:24 Adam Yeah, it's good. He's clean. He's clean down there. Yeah, he keeps it clean. And he's on a hidden video show. Totally Busted, yeah. And they just have naked chicks show up at jobs and get naked. It's always the same reaction. It's some dude, like, it's like, guy's answering an ad in the paper, like, you guys looking for a handyman? Yeah, let me get naked. And then the guy just sort of stands there and goes, okay, alright. You're busted! It should be called Boner Makers with a hidden camera or something. Every guy's got the same reaction.

4:01 Guest My parts are always amazing, though.

4:02 Adam Steve's amazing. Steve is exquisite. The other guy's just... Boner Makers? Boner Makers sounds like a good tool rental place. You've got that back... Yeah, over at Boner Makers, you can get a steak bed truck, we'll rent you a fertilizer spreader. Boner Makers got it all. You know, you want a daily rate or an hourly rate. But yeah, anyway, just chicks getting naked and guys standing there.

4:27 Guest That's rare proof on television that I'm not a little bit goofy.

4:33 Adam This is very serious.

4:35 Drew These guys lit up about five minutes ago. They were so giggly.

4:40 They're giddy, they're high.

4:41 Adam They're very high. Alright, but they're boozing, so that's going to even things out. Here's all I ask. A lot of people come in here, they get high, they get drunk, they have a good time. We don't have any problem with that. But sometimes they peak a little early. I mean, they're riding a crest about 1040 and then they bottom out about 1115 and they're getting surly about 1130.

5:08 Drew Steve Boyd Brown is about 30 minutes ago.

5:09 Adam Steve Boyd Brown is about 30 minutes ago. So you'll be feeling...

5:13 Guest You should be in good shape.

5:15 Adam Here's the thing.

5:16 Guest The drunker we get, the better.

5:17 Those people were pussies.

5:21 Adam And they're lightweights. Let me explain something, everybody. I don't want to give anyone the wrong message. But one thing you've got to learn is you've got to learn to ride that high because the party may go all night. And you start boozing at 830 or 9 at night, you don't want to be vomiting at 925.

5:38 Guest Yeah, we've got a heavy day of making a hit TV show tomorrow.

5:43 Adam Right. Now what time you've got to get up?

5:46 Guest We have a call time of like 11 or something.

5:50 Adam Where have you guys been as far as locations for Wildboys? Because I have seen you in some pretty cool locations.

5:56 Guest South Africa, Alaska, Kenya, Rwanda, Florida, Costa Rica, Belize, Brazil, Indonesia, India.

6:04 Adam Must be great MTV paying for all that travel. You're just traveling in the back of cargo planes and freight.

6:12 Guest I always kind of had this idea that the humans are thriving and all of our time on Earth that we've become really successful. Traveling the world has taught me that humans are probably the least thriving. Really?

6:27 Drew What do you mean?

6:28 Guest Like poverty? Yeah, just struggling. On top of that, I've noticed that for all the ghettos I've been in all over the world, we've got the creepiest ghettos here at home.

6:37 Drew Really?

6:38 Guest I really think so, yeah.

6:39 Drew I've noticed that in the ghettos I've seen the families are still together in most ghettos.

6:43 Guest People are starting to take care of each other. And you see in places where there's so much corruption, like mafia people will actually assume the role of government and police. So there's really no crime. In Brazil, especially, yeah.

7:00 Adam Now, is it our ghettos, like our ghettos have poverty and crime and drug abuse, but a guy could be wearing a hundred and fifty dollars pair of sneakers? Is that what's confusing about our ghetto? I mean, there's more jewelry in the ghetto than there is in the suburbs.

7:17 Drew Some people are more violent and angry in our ghettos, right?

7:20 Guest Um, yeah, I think that it's just more to do with them really being left to regulate themselves, you know? Like, no one's helping out. Whereas in other countries, like, mafia will really genuinely regulate people.

7:39 Adam Mafia, good.

7:40 So we need more mafia?

7:43 Drew We used to have stuff like that here. The city government used to do stuff like that.

7:46 Adam Here's what I think. I feel like the poor of other countries, while not being happy about being poor, almost look at it as their place. Like, hey, you know, you work hard in the field all day, you come home, you got a big family, all live under one roof, and it's a corrugated tin shack for the rest of your life, and this way your grandpa and his dad did it, and all that. Here, if you're poor, you realize it sucks. Like, hey, listen, you probably have cable, and you're probably watching what's going on out there, and you're going, hey, my life sucks.

8:22 Guest That's a really good point.

8:24 Adam I mean, it's one thing to be poor, it's another thing to realize you're poor and realize what you're missing out on. I wonder if some of the impoverished in some of these countries even know.

8:34 Guest Ignorance is absolutely bliss.

8:35 Adam All right, see, Drew, you want everyone to go to college and get all unhappy because they know stuff.

8:40 Guest There's nothing to learn that isn't bad news.

8:42 Adam That's right. There's nothing to learn that isn't bad news.

8:46 Drew We've got to start putting clown college on our recommendation.

8:51 Guest So now we do a lot of gay stuff on TV. Right. We're always acting a little bit goofy, if you know what I mean.

8:57 Adam Yeah, well, it is. When you think about gay stuff, if you're not gay, that's the ultimate stunt. You know what I mean? I mean, the ultimate stunt if you're not gay is a little cornhole. That's the ultimate stunt. That's more than bungee jumping.

9:14 That's going over the line a little bit.

9:16 Adam I call it the ultimate.

9:17 It's about walking on that line.

9:20 Adam It's about walking that fine line.

9:22 Guest It's about being ridiculous. And boy, boy, do we act ridiculous.

9:29 Adam I'm just saying if you're a straight guy, that's thrill-seeking right there.

9:32 Guest Yeah. It's the people who aren't into that. It's those guys you've got to worry about.

9:42 Adam Brittany, all right. Now don't start peeking. We're only eight minutes into the show.

9:46 Guest Nice.

9:48 Adam Brittany, what's up?

9:48 Who's she talking.

9:56 Adam Is she a dispatcher for police?

9:59 I'm 21 and I don't really have much of a libido. I was wondering, I know there's a bunch of stuff out for guys, like there's Viagra and Insight, and I'm sorry.

10:12 Adam We can't drop the S-word on there.

10:14 Drew What do you mean there are all sorts of things? There's nothing for women at this point.

10:17 Adam No, for guys. Yeah, there's all kinds of stuff for guys.

10:21 Guest I think she's asking about for women. She said that she was hurting for them.

10:23 Drew But she was commenting their stuff for guys. Yeah, I got to hear more about what she's going on. Thanks Anderson.

10:31 Adam Yeah, and by the way, phone screeners. We talked to her for ten seconds. She was talking to a couple of cabs for the first five seconds and then dropped the S-bomb three seconds into that. Really?

10:48 Guest There's some girls that are sluts. I mean, it's not that the good girls are good girls. It's just that they don't have a libido, like what this girl was talking about.

10:55 Drew No, no, no. In fact, most women that are hypersexual, when they actually get in a relationship, will shut down. Will stop wanting to have sex at all. They go from supersexual to completely cold, to completely shut down. It's called a bipolar.

11:08 Adam And Corolla can induce that very readily. I have a, yeah, if you want me to, like, I should offer myself a service. Like, hey, your daughter out of control, I'll shut her down. Let's give her a weekend. Not actually just an evening. But let me ask you guys a question, Chris and Steve-O. It just, it strikes me, it's gonna be, well, it's gonna be a compliment. But it might be a little rough around the edges. Which is, never been a better time to be Jack-Off's on TV. Because back in the past, you, I mean, you would be known, let's just say it was a hundred years ago, and for some reason everyone knew who you guys were. It wouldn't necessarily translate into that much poon-tang. Whereas today, you're on TV, people know who you are, you're doing your thing.

11:51 Guest Even a hundred years ago, they didn't have TV. As soon as they had TV, no matter what you did on it, you were getting poon-tang.

11:56 Adam Forget about that. Let's just say, okay, let's say they had TV, let's just say 50 years ago, someone was known for firing bottle rockets out of their ass.

12:06 Guest Yep.

12:06 Adam Well, as long as they were on TV, I'm telling you, they would have got as much as the guy would now for firing the bottle rockets out of their ass.

12:14 Guest I think that there's a lot of advertising dollars that would say that you're incorrect about it.

12:18 Adam Advertising dollars? But I'm talking about women.

12:21 Guest But just the idea that...

12:23 Drew He's saying that if you were on TV for positive reasons in the... long ago...

12:29 Guest Well, I mean they say that there's no such thing as bad publicity.

12:32 Adam Well, here's what I'm saying.

12:34 Guest As opposed to not being known for nothing.

12:36 Adam In the past, bad publicity was bad publicity.

12:39 Drew Right.

12:40 Adam Now, bad publicity is just publicity. You're just sort of known.

12:44 Drew You could be ostracized and humiliated.

12:46 Adam You can be Monica Lewinsky and still sell a million books and launch a line of handbags. You know what I'm saying? I'm not saying you guys are Monica Lewinsky. I'm just saying you can get a lot of tail doing stupid stuff on TV.

13:03 Caller What else really matters in life?

13:05 Adam That's what I'm saying. It's a good time to be you.

13:08 Guest I figured out that monogamy doesn't exist. I tell people this. There's no such thing as monogamy.

13:19 Caller I've got a girlfriend now and a lot of people say she's tamed you. She may have tamed me, but she's not the last one who will ride me.

13:31 Guest The way I look at it, if you have a dog of your own at home, you still pet other dogs. Your dog doesn't like it when you come home smelling like other dogs, but it's still your dog.

13:40 I just wanted to see the wet pink stick.

13:45 Guest I had this crazy experience where I had a really serious relationship. It was easy to maintain because at the time I would fly my girlfriend around with me everywhere I went, making it really easy to be in this committed relationship. But then she joined school and then she went to college and can't be together anymore. So now we can't be there together anymore. I'm trying, I'm trying to figure it out. She's the one who said that it doesn't bother her the concept of me masturbating thinking about another girl other than her.

14:23 Drew That doesn't mean that therefore she wouldn't mind you having sex with another girl.

14:29 Guest If I'm allowed to masturbate thinking about another girl, then am I all of a sudden wrong when I'm masturbating thinking about another girl who happens to be in the toilet stall with me?

14:39 Drew Or the stripper.

14:40 Guest And then it comes to a line in the sand where it's like I'm not having sex with a damn rubber. If there's a woman in the room helping me out in some way, as long as my doctor says, you know, that we haven't scientifically met, then I'm not cheating.

14:57 Drew Pont, Locke, Steve-O.

15:01 Adam What Steve is saying, there's a barrier between him and the woman.

15:05 Drew Therefore, it's the same as masturbating.

15:06 Adam It doesn't matter if it's as thick as a sheet of paper or a million miles between the two of them.

15:12 Drew It's the philosophy.

15:13 Adam It's not even masturbation.

15:14 Drew We should not judge.

15:15 Adam We should not judge.

15:16 Drew It's less than masturbation.

15:18 Caller You can justify anything.

15:19 Adam As a matter of fact, that bitch owes you for nailing that other chick. I agree.

15:24 Guest For crying out loud. It is a blurry line. I mean, there's just a blurry line between fantasizing about other women and, you know, humping rubbers. Hello?

15:41 Adam You're, uh, 16? What's up?

15:53 Guest What? You just have to get him on his own, babe. You're in there. Just like any other guy in the universe, get him on his own and start rubbing his balls.

16:04 Adam Christian, you're 24.

16:05 Drew God, I can't believe I'm listening to this ball thing.

16:08 Because that's the season of penitentiary.

16:10 Adam Hold on, Christian, hold on.

16:11 Drew You're 24, you're in a penitentiary at 18?

16:14 Caller Yes, 17 in 9 months.

16:16 Drew What for?

16:17 Caller For a robbery I committed while I was living on the streets.

16:20 Drew Oh, wait a minute.

16:21 Adam He committed a robbery while he was on the streets.

16:23 Drew Must have been something about that robbery.

16:25 Guest It sounds like he's looking for some sort of exoneration in his heart and strife.

16:27 Drew He could send a juvenile off to 8 years in prison.

16:29 Caller Actually, I've been out since 12, in and out of the institutions. I've been in juvenile detention, home, family shelter, you name it.

16:37 Drew Alright, that makes more sense.

16:39 Guest Dr. Drew impresses me so much every time, man.

16:44 Adam You'll get over it. Go ahead.

16:47 Caller Yeah, the last five months I've been experimenting with all kinds of psychoactives. MDMA, methamphetamines, DXM, defenitramine.

16:55 Guest You're not on PCP, dude. You're fine.

16:58 Drew That's the question.

16:59 Caller The DXM is similar to PCP, but anyway, I've discontinued use for one month now. I'm so scared to use any drugs it ain't funny because I've had five ER visits this last month for withdrawals. For several symptoms. It started with heart palpitations and then it's been because I've had these tremors every time I try to go to sleep.

17:18 Drew Close your eyes. How old do you think this guy is, Christian?

17:21 Caller He makes me feel innocent.

17:22 Guest I'm going to say that he's an old looking 27.

17:30 Adam Old looking 27.

17:33 Caller Chris, what do you think?

17:34 Adam 19 and three quarters.

17:35 Drew He's got to hang with a tough crowd.

17:37 Adam By the way, he's the number right in between the 19 and 27. True, by the way. You never make a statement. Ever get the answer? Never. Christian is 24. Sounds like he's not long for the coup.

18:05 Caller No, I'm in therapy. I'm starting to take all the steps. I'm meeting three times a day. I'm working out, trying to exhaust myself at night.

18:12 Guest You know what sucks about all these rehab places is that they tell you that 99. This crazy rate of failure. We have a great success rate. I was locked up in rehab and they told me that I would be in one percent.

18:33 Drew They may have said the way you're going it's impossible.

18:35 Guest No, they said out of people who come into recovery. It was in Del Ray in South Florida. It was 10 years ago.

18:44 Drew Most programs should go.

18:45 Guest I was only 20.

18:47 Adam I haven't had a drink since.

18:54 Drew Okay, Christian, what led to you wanting to get well? What a painful and awful history you have. All of a sudden you sound like you really make it a concert. You really want to get well. What changed?

19:06 Caller Before I started experimenting with drugs, I decided I wanted to change my life completely. I had this art that I found in prison. I found an outlet for all the things I felt. Then while I've been out here, my reintegration of society has been so difficult. I decided to go amongst the people I was familiar with, which was addicts and criminals. But I still consider myself socially responsible in the fact that I don't want to commit crimes. I don't want to end up back in prison. So I experiment with drugs, and it messed me off pretty bad.

19:33 Drew So now you're in a recovery program?

19:36 Caller I'm in a recovery program daily. It's not an inpatient treatment.

19:43 Drew Christian, keep working.

19:43 Adam Can you work? Do you have a job?

19:45 Caller Yes, I'm doing flash art right now that I'm trying to create for a website that I want the flash contest, flash2access.com.

19:52 Adam Flash art?

19:53 Yes, tattoo flash.

19:54 Caller It's the stuff you see on the wall when you go into the shop for artists that can't really do art.

20:01 Adam So you do the thing, and then the guy uses a template?

20:05 Caller Pretty much, something like that.

20:07 Adam That's flash, huh?

20:11 Guest It's basically a tattoo studio wallpaper.

20:14 Drew But they point at it and say, I want that?

20:16 Guest Yeah, and whatever tattoo studio is wallpapered with is the art from the back.

20:22 Drew You've got copies on the wall or you take some kind of template? Trace it on.

20:27 Guest Those xeroxes with some carbon thing and then they wet you.

20:32 Adam I don't know.

20:35 Guest Sounds like if you're an artist, you should be getting paid in the middle.

20:38 Drew You would think.

20:39 Guest There's more money in actually tattooing than drawing.

20:42 Drew Listen, I'm actually inspired by Christian. That's a remarkable turnaround given his history.

20:52 Adam He dropped half an S-bomb.

21:01 Guest With this guy, like...

21:04 Drew This guy's been through a lot.

21:06 Guest I'm not taking away from that. I just think that in situations where people are trying to rehabilitate themselves or be rehabilitated, the more that you focus on the actual problem, like the... I mean, if it's all about admitting that you have a problem, I really think that finding something separate to... I recently found that... Focusing on what's wrong with you to get better is a great idea.

21:33 Drew What tends to happen when people actually get better is they have a moment of clarity, a moment where they see themselves as they really are, just for a second. They just see themselves. And in that moment, I've talked to a lot of people lately, I was sort of investigating that moment and seeing what happens in that moment, because they talk about a spiritual bottom. Well, it's often a bottom, but sometimes it's just sort of a spiritual moment. And when you ask them, what did you feel in that moment, they will all say disgust. They disgust themselves.

21:57 Guest Well, humans are pretty inherently disgusting.

21:59 Drew But when you discuss yourself, it's pretty easy to change. You just start making change. And that's what Christian is, he's there. And he wants to know about these seizures, having mild clonus when he goes to sleep, and that's from all the de-exam and all the stuff you've done. Just keep going with your program, after about a year, that stuff will settle down.

22:15 Adam I had that disgust syndrome going too, but then I started beating off in the shower. We went through it and it got better, yeah.

22:22 Guest You can say beating off in the shower, bless your guy's heart.

22:25 Adam Well, we, because we provide a service.

22:28 Guest I mean, like individually, like a human individual being disgusted by themselves, to me is minor. I mean, when you can look at all of humanity and be utterly disgusted.

22:39 Adam You know, that's when you've done something.

22:41 Guest No, like in Rwanda, we show Wildboys in Rwanda. And we got there fairly ignorant of what had gone down there ten years ago. Not Civil War, Genocide, whatever it was. What do you call it? Well, you call it an ambiguous genocide.

22:55 Adam But it was results of Rwandans going at each other.

22:58 Guest What we call it is a result of colonialism. But either way, you know, either way, at the end of the day, it's proof that, I mean, it's just a glaring example of how bad humanity is, let alone individuals.

23:09 Adam Did you appreciate this country more after you traveled or less?

23:15 Guest Yeah, I say it's nothing, it's nothing that I didn't know it didn't. I just appreciated, like, there's no one to blame. It's not like Rwanda's to blame, it's not the US. You know, it's just humanity at large is just...

23:27 Drew Yeah, but why don't you blame the Rwandans, you know, for whatever they did to the Rwandans?

23:32 Guest Because it's the Belgian bastards that, you know...

23:35 Adam Alright, well then blame them.

23:38 Guest Yeah, either way, I'm just saying that humans are inherently bastards. Humanity sucks. There's no... Like, history is all bad news. It's guaranteed to repeat itself.

23:49 Drew Wow, he's right.

23:50 Guest Our only instinct is to survive.

23:53 Drew However, would you agree that although that's the history and there's certainly been a repetitive pattern of all this, generally the slope has been in a positive direction. Generally, things are better for people. Generally.

24:09 Guest You have to have bad things occur to realize that good things are good. You know, I mean, our existence is a cruel prank on us and that's why we do so well distracting people from that.

24:22 Adam Hold on there, Plato.

24:23 Drew This is platonic, isn't it?

24:25 Adam Have another shot of...

24:26 Guest Let's talk about wieners. The world is your oyster.

24:29 Because that's all the world is.

24:38 Adam We're going to get hammered. We're going to take a little break. Chris Pontius is here. Steve-O, the whimsical musings of Steve-O. Steve, you really should do motivational speaking. I know, I'm working on it. I see college graduations. And high school graduations. You guys are heading into a pit called Hell.

25:03 Caller Life sucks.

25:04 Adam Many of you will not survive the weekend.

25:07 Drew I think it's going to get more basic.

25:09 Caller You all suck.

25:10 Guest You're part of humanity.

25:15 Adam Now who's going to freshen up my highball?

25:17 Drew Now let me tell you about Crown College.

25:20 Caller Steve-O, stop being dark.

25:22 Adam All you chicks, all you hotties pile into the miniature car.

25:25 Guest I can, I can, I can.

25:29 Adam We're taking a break. We'll be right back after this. Drew, mics are hot, so stay away from the N-word and the MF. All right, because Drew goes off like a merchant marine.

25:45 Guest Dude, that's all it took to get those radio DJs suspended in Canada.

25:51 Adam Chris Pontius is here tonight along with Steve-O, Wildboys, name of the show.

25:56 Guest God, that's a really, really, what do you call it, condescending? No. You know, that good, that, that clap track. I mean, I forgot.

26:05 Adam No, it's an homage. Sunday Nights, 10.30 on MTV. We got a question for the guys from Cody over here who's 13. Cody? What's up?

26:20 Guest What's up, brother?

26:23 Hey, dude, you're my idol, man.

26:24 Guest Hell yeah, not as much as I am mine, dude. Well, Chris was the pioneer of the lock-licking club. How did it taste?

26:41 Caller It tasted like crap.

26:43 Guest It was crap. What do you mean what it tasted like?

26:46 Caller It was crap.

26:47 Adam It tasted like a minty freshness.

26:51 Drew You vomit after most of these things, right?

26:54 Guest It's not that I have a weak stomach. It didn't taste that bad.

26:57 Drew I've seen many pictures of you vomiting and gagging.

27:01 Guest Good impulse. Only ever did I vomit on purpose when it was to regurgitate the goldfish before it died. Sure. I forget what else. When I was trying to vomit out the condom full of marijuana that I smuggled internationally in Sweden.

27:18 Adam Oh yeah, remember that.

27:21 Guest But yeah, it's not that I have a weak stomach. I just have a powerful imagination. And someone doesn't even have to be gross. But once, I think, you know...

27:28 Drew You guys don't have to vomit on the gross stuff you get into.

27:31 Guest Really bad news, too. I don't know what was worse for my teeth, like chewing glass or vomiting.

27:37 Drew You guys are traveling to all those weird places. Do you ever get any weird illnesses or anything?

27:41 Guest You know, we've been... I personally, I think you do, too, go out of my way to drink tap water in every damn country.

27:50 Drew Trying to get cholera?

27:52 Guest No, just trying to build my immune system.

27:54 Adam That's how you do it. We're warriors.

27:57 Guest I drank tap water in India, Africa, everywhere.

28:02 Drew Most of that work by killing off the people that couldn't tolerate the water. Any weird STDs or anything?

28:09 Guest We're perplexed. We're completely perplexed. We believe that all these STD dogs is complete propaganda.

28:17 Drew Their penis is still attached to their body.

28:20 Adam That's amazing how that works.

28:21 Caller It's paid for by the... The propaganda is paid for by the condom companies.

28:25 Guest Yeah.

28:27 Drew You've never gotten STDs?

28:29 Caller Actually, we're both pretty good about the old condoms.

28:33 Guest No, we really are. I mean, if we do have STDs in their dormant...

28:40 Drew Neurocephalus?

28:41 Guest And if...

28:42 Drew Serpies, Neurocephalus, STDs.

28:45 Guest You know, I believe a strong, positive mental attitude keeps the STDs dormant, just like laughter cures cancer. You know, it's all the power of the mind.

28:53 Adam That's right. You put a smile on your face, you keep the herpes off it.

28:56 Drew That's good.

28:57 Guest Yeah, and we're good about rubbers, and I can't hump a girl without giving her my email and at least my email, if not my cell phone number. And so...

29:05 Drew I see you don't want them calling you up later.

29:07 Guest He does give you a tube. I genuinely do.

29:10 Drew If you didn't use a condom, you wouldn't want them...

29:13 Guest No, no, no, no.

29:13 Adam You want them to call. If they find out, they got something to call.

29:17 Guest Exactly. I mean, I'm not going to say there's a lot of them, but there's a few. They'd get a hold of me if anything turned up shady.

29:25 Adam Do you guys scrape anything up when you travel, I mean, woman-wise? I mean, first off...

29:32 Guest Most of the places we go...

29:33 Adam They might not know you where you're going, right?

29:35 Guest Yeah, most of the places.

29:36 Adam So it's just become this sort of bizarre sideshow?

29:40 Guest There was this one night in Bombay. Well, let's just say that... Um, that...

29:49 Yeah, big gal?

29:51 Guest Okay, so this dude comes into the room, and it's his room, and it's his wife. She told him to get the hell out. Wow.

29:58 Caller Wow, a hotel room?

29:59 Guest No, it was his house. It was his wife.

30:02 Caller And then while she was doing something to his wiener, he was giving Steve-O a bong hit.

30:08 Adam Oh, really? I mean, the hookah.

30:10 Guest It was really, really creepy.

30:12 Caller They weren't Indians.

30:12 Guest It was a Canadian couple that lived in Bombay.

30:14 Adam Wow, swinging.

30:16 Drew He was like the Dutch couple.

30:17 Caller I asked him what her haircut was like below the belt, and he said it was pretty tangly, but he would have never noticed because of the fat that Hannah hung over it.

30:28 Adam Smart, yeah. She got like the fanny pack that hangs over the mask.

30:31 Caller It might as well have been a bald eagle.

30:33 Drew It's called a panacea.

30:35 Adam A panacea, yeah. It's nice. You see it on guys at the gym often times. It's nice. It's bad when someone has to hold something out of the way so you can get to their stuff.

30:46 Drew This is where Steve-O formulated his disgust for humanity. This is where the stuff came into sharp focus.

30:53 Adam Did you jump in on that? You got in on some of that?

30:56 Guest What, are you kidding me? I was bossy when the dude walked in the room.

31:08 Adam Well, you know what I say, Drew, it takes all kinds. All kinds. It really does.

31:12 Guest I mean, when in Bombay?

31:14 Adam Do as the Canadians do. Lizette? You're 20. What's happening?

31:21 Hey, I have a question for Dr. Drew. I went to the doctor about a month ago and my doctor put me on Prozac. Because I've been having a lot of mood swings and he put me on it to try it out. And I noticed that when I'm with my husband, I just don't feel the same anymore.

31:38 Drew Right. That Prozac will shut you down sexually.

31:42 Is there anything that I can like, like I heard about gel by gel or something like that?

31:46 Drew No, no, no, no, no. Lizette, this is very, very powerful. And there's nothing you can get over the counter that can correct this, period. In fact, there probably is nothing you can do. It makes sex seem like uncomfortable or sort of difficult to understand even. It's hard to orgasm. Sometimes adding wellbutrin will correct this. So you can ask about adding wellbutrin. But probably the most efficacious thing that's going to be suggested is switching to either serosone, remeron or just a straight wellbutrin. Those are the three that don't cause the sexual side effects.

32:18 Caller Okay, because I mean, I don't know if I take 20 milligrams or 50 milligrams, but I thought maybe, like, you know, he calmed it down or something, it wouldn't affect me so much.

32:26 Drew Not likely. Prozac will shut you down.

32:28 Caller Prozac has played out.

32:30 Guest Yeah, and Xanax is so much cooler.

32:33 Adam So this is like for, yeah. I put a order in a long time ago.

32:39 Drew I didn't fill it.

32:42 Guest Xanax is rad.

32:43 Drew SDW has got tons of it. He works for the company. He's got Xana bars floating down the...

32:48 Adam I'll bet.

32:48 Caller Well, you guys, I mean, we've had some interesting plane rides recently.

32:53 Guest I've had some...

32:54 Adam Did you get a little Xanax on the plane? Yeah. And plus, you guys are like evil can evil. You have a lot of injuries. You have to have doctors prescribe you painkillers and stuff, right?

33:05 Guest That is true. We do experience a lot of pain.

33:08 Adam You experience pain. It's important to numb that pain in your profession.

33:11 Guest It's so funny. You know, like, for the TV show that we're here to promote, Wildboys, I really don't think that Wildboys is as entertaining as, like, a reality TV show, like, all of our off-camera time would be. Oh, yeah.

33:25 Drew We need to have, like, an Osborne...

33:27 Guest I'm not saying that we need to. I'm just saying none of it would be arable. Like, if I'm not shocking, we strive to be on TV. It's our most shocking moments that are nowhere near the cameras. Just about universally.

33:39 Adam Just a whole... We could have done a two-part special on Bang and the Fat Canadian. That could have been a couple weeks of programming.

33:51 Guest Even as fast as she was, it was only a few minutes. I still have my stamina issues, guys.

33:58 Adam Really?

34:17 Guest Ejaculation when by definition, it's the most man can compliment a woman? It's the most flattering act that a man can do.

34:22 Drew And from an evolutionary perspective, that's how you're going to pass the stuff along, right?

34:28 Guest I say it every single time I hear, is that it? Are you done? You've got to be kidding me.

34:33 Drew What about me?

34:34 Guest I've heard it all. And every single time I say the same thing. You're very, very good natured about this. Every single time I say, you know, it's not my fault you're so damn hot.

34:49 Caller Everyone has pulled the move where you put it in and you do a few pumps and then you feel like you're going to explode and you're like, oh, we shouldn't be doing this without condom.

35:00 Guest I think that's really what keeps The Wildboys clean, is that we're both such premature ejaculators that we actually use condoms as like...

35:07 Drew You're just not in there long enough to catch anything.

35:09 Guest You know, like I need that layer of latex in between me and the situation to try not to be so fast.

35:16 Adam Well, you know, it's...

35:18 Guest Yeah, we're embarrassed if we don't wear a condom.

35:21 Drew How long with the condom?

35:23 Guest Steve, it depends on how much drugs and alcohol are involved. Three minutes for me. I've even been in situations where with a condom on and with my bro in the room, you know, like filming or not. I've had bros pick up the camera because they realized I started and before they could turn the damn thing on, I was finished. You know, and I've had like... I've had round number two be... and three be faster than the first. I'll recharge. I'll reload within like 15, 20 minutes. And then genuinely be just as fast. Not all the time, though.

35:58 Adam Well, let me... Steve touched on something I thought was interesting earlier, which was he was saying, why should he be punished for his evolutionary advantage?

36:08 Guest Exactly.

36:09 Adam And I was thinking, though...

36:10 Drew And his compliment.

36:11 Guest How can you flatter a woman more? What's more testimony to the fact that you're turned on than blasting?

36:18 Adam And, well, perhaps jewelry. But the point is, the point is, I was thinking about the same could be argued for the fat chick. She just processes food more efficiently. She gets more energy out of that snicker than the skinny chick does. But yet we punish her. So we punish the man who's more efficient and we punish the woman who's more efficient.

36:40 Guest Yeah, from a psychological perspective, if you put yourself in the position of the woman, a premature ejaculation is extremely flattering. Whereas the ultimate attack on a woman is to be left there, you know, say 30, 45 minutes into it, where the lady's no longer moist and then it becomes uncomfortable for her. That's right. And she's just trying... Right. Yeah, and that's the worst thing that can happen to a woman. She's sitting there saying, what's wrong with you?

37:15 Adam She's thinking, not that.

37:16 Guest She's thinking, what's wrong with me?

37:17 Adam Steve-O has a new name. It's Steve-O.

37:19 Drew Steve-O, thy name is Schiller.

37:20 Guest She's thinking, what's wrong with me? Why can't I get this guy off? You know, what am I not hot? You know, like... Right.

37:25 Drew And in fact, it's just a biological thing.

37:27 Guest You know, and so that's why...

37:29 Caller Sometimes the ugly ones get me even more excited. Like I've been humping a girl before that's so hideous, I'm like, I'm thinking to myself, Chris, you are gnarly.

37:40 Guest Because the actual act of sex, the wild boys can take it or leave it. It's bragging to each other and the rest of the crew that we do it for.

37:47 Caller With the digital cameras, we can prove it.

37:51 Guest And now with these new digital cameras, it's not only bragging, it's not just bragging, it's show and tell. And boy have I been putting together some memory cards.

38:02 Adam Chris Pontius is here, Steve-O. Oh, they're having a good time. They're going to start bottoming out soon.

38:07 Guest No, we are. You goofy little fart sniffer.

38:12 Drew Poor little Chris over here, he's weird now.

38:15 Caller We're getting hotter and hotter.

38:18 Guest Why is it that when you rub your balls while you're jerking off, it feels so much better?

38:23 Drew I haven't noticed that.

38:24 Guest Dude, it does. Dammit, it does.

38:26 Adam These questions and others will be...

38:28 Caller Drew, words are rarely said.

38:29 Drew Is that when you're thinking about how gnarly you are? Or is that just so you can do it?

38:35 Adam So we got to get back on the track here. We're going to take... Drew, no more talking.

38:39 Drew We're taking a break.

38:40 Adam Well, yeah. Drew, please, bite the tongue. We'll be right back after this. Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. Chris Pontius here tonight, Steve-O here as well. Wildboys, name of the show MTV, 10.30 Sunday nights. Let's see if we can get the guys out of their shell for this second.

39:06 Guest Dude, you know, like, this second, the first season, we were in a weird line up, and we were at a weird time, so I don't know what it was. But like, our show didn't really explode onto the scene. But season two, dude, season two, we're on fire, man. Our show's really doing well. You know, like, I don't know what it is.

39:24 Adam Part of Sunday Night Stew for MTV.

39:27 Guest And thank you guys for watching us act like fruitcakes. You know, like...

39:34 Adam Let's speak to Ashley, who's 18. Ashley?

39:38 Guest She's turned on by a tune.

39:40 Oh, sure.

39:41 Adam Ashley? What's up?

39:44 Um, okay, um, I just got out of, like, a really, you know, intimate six-month relationship.

39:51 Guest And... Intimate, meaning that you guys didn't wear rubbers.

39:54 You know. And it's been, like, it's been since February since we broke up, and since then, I haven't really been sexually reacting or whatever. And I'll be around guys, and it'll get to that point. And I'm okay with it until it gets to the point where we're about to have sex. And then I just start feeling sick, like I'm disgusted.

40:17 Guest Wasn't that the point of getting to that point, though?

40:19 Adam You feel like you're going to vomit?

40:21 No. I just start feeling bad, like I'm doing something wrong. You pansy!

40:26 Drew Is it because you missed that boyfriend?

40:28 I know. We were, like, best friends before, and we're still friends now, but I don't even want anything to do with him like that anymore.

40:35 All right.

40:36 Drew Have you been depressed since the breakup?

40:38 Guest Are you masturbating still?

40:40 Drew What did she say?

40:42 Adam I have no idea.

40:43 Drew Are you depressed? You were not depressed?

40:49 Adam All right.

40:51 Drew Maybe you're not with the right kind of guy.

40:53 Guest Can you bring yourself to orgasm without becoming disgusted?

40:57 Caller Some people aren't born slutty. You have to learn.

41:00 Adam Yeah. It's going to take work.

41:02 Guest But this point that you reached went within the intimate encounter where all of a sudden you can't go through with it. Like, on your own mentally, are you able to masturbate yourself without these bad feelings?

41:13 Truthfully.

41:13 Guest Like, to a climax.

41:15 Truthfully, I might be weird for this. I've always thought I've been different. Like, I can masturbate in orgasm, but I've never...

41:24 Guest Thank God. I just want to give you an A and a C. Penises are really genuinely useless and...

41:30 Drew So, Ash, you're actually doing better than most women you raise to be able to masturbate to orgasm. Most women do not have orgasm during sex at all at your age. And some eventually will with oral sex, and that's it.

41:40 Guest Baby, masturbation is the key to sanity, and you can be anything you want.

41:47 Adam Again, I said...

41:48 Guest Reach for the stars, Ash.

41:49 Adam I said, motivational speaking.

41:52 Guest See, she doesn't need... This is a girl who can masturbate herself to climax, and that literally... That will protect her from these abusive relationships. Good point. She's genuinely... She's independent.

42:08 Drew Men need to cut down their arousal in order not to be driven into these relationships that may not be so good for them. Most women don't work quite like that. In fact, arousal and drive are disconnected in women.

42:21 Guest Yeah. I don't know.

42:23 Adam I think a lot of women as a career and as a way of...

42:30 Guest Job. They don't have an income. They basically give up the pussy, right?

42:36 Adam I'm not sure if we're allowed to say that one.

42:38 Caller Oh, we're not.

42:40 Guest It's not one of the words. So here's a girl who's going to do what she's going to do for herself. She's going to be independent.

42:49 Drew You see, they actually had to stop Viagra research on women because they found out that when they gave women arousal, it didn't matter. They weren't interested in sex.

43:02 Guest Man, when they have arousal, we're going. Women's instinct is to please the man.

43:05 Caller What makes the woman want to have sex?

43:08 Drew Interpersonal relationships.

43:09 Caller Play with poo on TV.

43:10 Drew No, it turns out it tends to be intimate conversation. Their brain will light up like a porno in your brain when you're having emotionally significant conversation.

43:20 Guest That works. You think?

43:22 Drew No, that's the fact. That's how the MRIs are shown. That's the research.

43:26 Guest So Dr. Drew, you're a substance abuse specialist. I want you to estimate how much cocaine I did the last time I was in here.

43:34 Drew No, you don't.

43:35 Guest I did so much.

43:36 Adam You did it when you were in here?

43:38 Guest In the bathroom.

43:39 Adam Like during the break?

43:40 Guest It was how I was smoking. That's why I came in so much later than everybody else.

43:44 Adam How cheap is coke these days?

43:46 Guest These days I don't know because I haven't been doing it.

43:50 Adam Well, how was it like a year and a half ago?

43:52 Guest I'd say I think I was paying $150 for an 8-ball.

43:55 Adam Oh, an 8-ball? Wow, that's cheap.

43:56 Guest Oh my God. I wasn't going for lower denominations than that.

43:59 Adam I gotta get into coke.

44:02 Guest There's really nothing like... There's nothing rewarding about it. I was doing it because I wanted to be as out of control as possible. Where I thought that our Jackass in the movie was just gonna come and go. And that I was like two or three months away from being completely forgotten. And that I was gonna go out in a ball of glory. Right. You did mention something about that. Yeah. I really didn't think that. I thought that it was gonna wind up being a big joke on me. Over how finished I was. And that I was climaxing and then on a downhill slide. So I just tried to be out of control.

44:33 Adam What did you get? As opposed to the quiet demure life you've now constructed for yourself. What about, how did you stop doing the coke?

44:42 Guest You know, like...

44:43 Drew Switch over to something else.

44:45 Guest You know, like to be honest, left to my own devices. I have no idea how out of control or on a downward spiral I would be. But the pitiful truth is that I don't... Like, every single day I'm scheduled for... You know, like my work schedule just commands where I am. You know, like I can't be... Like, if you give me a few days to decide what I'm going to do on my own...

45:07 Adam You'll be in trouble.

45:07 Guest Who knows what I'll decide to do. But at this point, everyone else is telling me, you know, go here, go there, go there, you know. It's just funny because I was, you know, probably a lot of pounds skinnier and, you know... I was in bad shape, and for you being in that, you know, like...

45:23 Adam How much coke were you doing when you were doing a lot of it?

45:25 Guest Oh, man. I was on day three, I think, when I was in here. Really? And you're doing... And Dr. Drew's just shaking his head. He's like, yeah, I felt bad for you.

45:32 Drew But you weren't smoking it?

45:35 Guest No, no, no.

45:35 Drew Yeah, because I didn't take the crack thing.

45:37 Guest Yeah, no, not at all.

45:39 Drew Just starting craploads.

45:40 Adam And here's the thing.

45:41 Guest For no point, other than to just be out of control.

45:44 Adam But when you're nuts all the time, no one really knows when you're high.

45:48 Guest Exactly. I mean, like, you know.

45:50 Adam It's smart. All right, hold on a second. We got to take a break. You guys do some blow in the parking lot. We'll be right back after this. Hey, everybody. It's Loveline. Fund number 1-800-LOVE-191. Steve-O here tonight. Chris Pontius here tonight, too, as well, from Wildboys MTV, 1030, Sundays. And what's this Sunday's episode? What are you guys doing?

46:20 Guest It's Costa Rica. See, throughout Jackass, the TV show, it's been alleged that I went through some of the worst things. And only in the final act of the movie did I for once appear turning something down, which was a car up the butt. So, this next episode of Wildboys, the boy backs out for only the second time in his career.

46:47 Adam Really? What is it?

46:49 Guest Yeah, I couldn't jump off a 300 foot bridge with a bungee cord. After 18,000 successful, like safe, you know, jumps.

46:58 Adam Are you afraid of heights?

46:59 Guest Well, the thing is that I spent my entire life jumping off things and climbing up on rooftops to assess the jumpability. And no matter what you tie to my feet, I can't look off a 300 foot bridge and see anything doable. But I'm just programmed. You know, and I jumped out of a damn airplane with no parachute into the ocean, you know, like...

47:18 Adam What?

47:19 Guest Yeah, an Ultralight, like one of these multiple planes, 40 feet above, 40 feet up and 40 miles an hour.

47:26 Adam What the...

47:26 Guest And that was an I'm not okay moment.

47:28 Adam What was underneath the bridge? Is there waters or rocks?

47:32 Guest No, no, no. Is there...

47:34 Drew Well...

47:34 Caller It was rocks and water.

47:35 Guest Rocks, but rocks and water, yeah. And it's just this mental block because I jump off something. So in any case, I really, really back out next week.

47:42 Adam So we can see that Sunday.

47:43 Guest It's the Costa Rica episode.

47:46 Drew The Harrah episode.

47:47 Adam I'm not down with the bungee jumping either. I think it just goes against your instincts as a human being just to launch yourself off of something.

47:53 Guest It's so funny, because my instinct is to jump off dumb stuff, you know? And it's just...

47:59 Adam I hate to say...

48:00 Guest I'm so embarrassed of this coming episode.

48:02 Adam If you're back on the Coke, you know, if you're on the boogershow...

48:05 Guest If I was on the boogershow, if I was drunk on day two on Coke, I would have jumped off that and... You know, I need to get back on the Coke, my career... And you know my dad's listening, so...

48:15 It might be time to fire him.

48:16 Adam Yeah, you don't want to...

48:17 Guest My poor dad.

48:18 Adam Oh, his dad thinks he's a CPA working in Philadelphia. His father...

48:22 Guest My dad manages my career more than I do.

48:25 Adam He does? Yeah, but...

48:28 Guest My dad has agreed to disagree about the content of my career. Right. Or the content of my art, I should say. But if you want to rip me off, you've got to get through my dad.

48:37 Drew If you went to clown school for this...

48:40 Guest Now, my dad's psyched. Like, I bought the same Rolex that he has, except I got the one with the diamond bezel. Really? And I thought I had him beat. I was like, man, I bought a Rolex that's more expensive than my dad's. And I show up and he says, wow, diamonds on a man's watch. My homophobia kicks in. And he told me, like, not only did I not one-up him, he told me I got the Liberace variation. So I was like, I spent all this money to be, like, cooler than my dad.

49:11 Adam I think he got, like, a tie next to that.

49:14 Guest If you're listening, Dad, I'll, like...

49:16 Adam He's not listening.

49:17 Guest I love you, man.

49:18 Adam Jennifer? You're 26?

49:22 Caller Yeah.

49:22 Drew That's got to be high, too.

49:23 Adam What's up?

49:24 Caller Where are you guys at? Are you here in Washington?

49:32 Drew You're not? No.

49:32 Guest By the way... We're one of the few national broadcasts that isn't out of Washington.

49:37 Adam And by the way, I always like that follow-up. You're not? Where are you guys at? Washington? No. You're not? It's like, does it ever get...

49:45 Caller Well, we kind of are.

49:47 Guest Now, do you mean Washington, the suicide capital of the world, or Washington, the capital of the state?

49:52 Adam I think suicide capital.

49:58 Caller I was looking forward to being able to maybe see you guys.

50:03 Guest Well, that's how they are there in the Pacific. Tell them about the Pacific Northwest, Chris.

50:08 Caller You're from Washington, DC right?

50:10 Adam No. No.

50:11 Guest Watching the stage in the Pacific Northwest, dude. Tell them about that. You can analyze this person better than anyone.

50:19 Adam Chris, are you from that area?

50:20 Caller No, I'm not.

50:21 Guest What if he was?

50:24 Caller I'm not from...

50:25 Guest No, no, it's the Pacific Northwest. It's no wonder why everybody kills themselves.

50:28 Drew Why, why?

50:29 Guest Tell them, Chris.

50:30 Caller Because God... On them all day long.

50:32 Guest All year round. Plus, on top of that, it's the underachievement hub. You know, it's the international hub of underachievement. Pain handling and dreadlocks are bigger than employment.

50:42 Adam I'm going to think of one further. I don't think it's urine. I think it's pre-comp. I think it's got spree.

50:48 Guest And then you walk into a bar and everybody hates you because you're on TV. They're all... It's no wonder why Kurt Cobain killed himself. Because everybody was player-hating on him.

50:56 Adam He was murdered, by the way. Jennifer?

50:58 Caller Yes.

50:59 Adam All right, so do you have a question?

51:01 Caller Yeah. I had a couple, actually.

51:04 Adam All right, you get one. Go ahead.

51:06 Caller Oh, just one?

51:07 Adam Just go.

51:08 Caller Okay. Are Steve-O and Chris, are you guys still friends with Johnny Knoxville and...

51:16 Caller Oh, yeah, they're rad.

51:17 Guest What, are you kidding me?

51:18 Caller Yeah, right.

51:19 Caller Hell yeah, no. We're going to go meet Johnny Knoxville tonight.

51:23 Guest Yeah. Now, check this out. Yeah. Johnny Knoxville, and you won't catch him bragging about it, but for him to agree to be an actor in a movie these days, that's going to run you about $5 million.

51:36 Adam Yeah.

51:37 Guest And on top of that, he just had this huge movie come out with The Rock.

51:42 Adam Sure.

51:42 Guest And like, our brother...

51:44 Adam Walking Tall.

51:45 Guest Our brother not only came out to Indonesia to survive the freaking Indonesia for two weeks to help us shoot our show, like he actually went from Indonesia to go through the entire press routine of a feature film coming out. He's on Letterman.

52:04 Adam He's on Max Johnny.

52:05 Guest And he's... Yeah, Johnny Knoxville. How did you guys all meet, by the way? Every piece of press he did to promote Walking Tall, he did nothing but talk about coming out to shoot with Wildboys with us and say how much he missed, shooting with the bros. And if you want to ask us, you know, everybody wants there to be animosity between us and Knoxville. Everybody wants us to, you know, like, divide and divide and, you know, no way, dude. We wouldn't be successful if it wasn't for Knoxville.

52:29 Adam I like that.

52:30 Guest And we love Knoxville. And we are going to get wasted with you tonight, dude. Yeah!

52:37 Adam Hey, what, where did, uh, get wasted, or maybe meet more wasted?

52:41 Guest You thought we were wasted last night.

52:47 Adam And let me, yeah, Drew was talking about how wasted you guys were last night. He had a feeling.

52:52 Guest Was that when he was swearing?

52:54 Adam Let me say this.

52:55 Drew I'm just reading your knuckles, dude.

52:58 Guest Is that a first, dude?

52:59 Adam Uh, he's done it before.

53:01 Guest Unbelievable.

53:02 Adam Stop it.

53:03 Guest You can't say, you can't say the words I had permanently tattooed on my knuckles. All right.

53:07 Adam Let me just say this, if Johnny Knoxville is listening. Start drinking now.

53:13 Guest The man ain't afraid.

53:14 Adam No, I'm just saying there's nothing worse than when you're sober and you run into your loaded buddies. This has happened to me a few times. It is a shock to the senses. You need to catch up. You need to get close to them. You know what I mean?

53:25 Caller That's not going to happen because our buddies are always loaded.

53:29 Drew How did you guys all meet?

53:30 Adam Yeah.

53:30 Caller Through skateboarding. Making videos for Big Brother magazine.

53:35 Guest Larry Flint published, our magazine that Larry Flint published is a skateboard magazine, which is directed, the target audience is like 13-year-old skateboarding, you know. Really young demographic that this magazine is marketed to.

53:50 Adam When you say our magazine, who started it?

53:54 Guest Steve Rocko. Well, Jeff Tramaine.

53:55 Caller Yeah, you're giving Larry Flint way too much credit.

53:58 Guest It's just rad that-

53:59 Caller Well, he bought the magazine right face-through.

54:00 Guest The magazine introduced us to the media, it was published by Larry Flint, and I mean it's a skateboard magazine.

54:07 Adam Right.

54:07 Guest So I don't know.

54:08 Adam And then where did Johnny Knoxville come in?

54:10 Guest Johnny Knoxville wanted to become famous, so he sent out this big press release, I want to taser myself, mace myself, you know.

54:20 Caller No, that's not-

54:21 Guest That's not Knoxville, it came to Big Brother.

54:22 Caller No, he was friends with Jeff, like the main man of Big Brother.

54:26 Guest Right.

54:27 Caller And he wrote this article about self-defense techniques, like Bullproof Fest.

54:33 Guest They're making skateboarders for Larry Flint, and then we said, hey, let's pull out the skateboard, and we know Spike Jonze real well, you know, and let's just make it idiotic.

54:41 Adam Right.

54:42 Guest So Spike Jonze picked up the phone once-

54:44 Adam So how many years ago is this that you guys all meet, by the way?

54:46 Caller All these amazing people pretty much just found each other, a long ago.

54:49 Guest Skateboarding brought us together in 95, 96-

54:52 Caller I was at Big Brother since, for like 11, 11 years ago.

54:57 Adam So you guys, but no, when did Johnny Knoxville come into the mix?

55:00 Guest 95, 95.

55:03 Adam It's coming on to 10 years.

55:04 Guest Everyone's still one piece. Yeah, everyone thinks, you know, it just happens in a flash, but you really do have to pay your dues, man.

55:11 Caller Yeah, it took a launch. You can't mess with Destiny, though.

55:14 Guest You know, when Jackass came out as a TV show, like, but it only took three weeks for us to be officially the highest rated show in the history of MTV Jackass.

55:22 Adam Really?

55:23 Guest Yeah, and, like, we didn't get paid more than, like, what, $1,200 or something for the, you know.

55:30 Adam Who are you talking to? We were on MTV, too. It took us four years to become number 86.

55:36 Caller Their paychecks aren't really that cool at first.

55:38 Guest Yeah, but, hey, you gotta pay your dues, man.

55:41 Caller But now we're rich, so it's totally cool.

55:45 Adam You don't believe me, they're drinking Smirnoff Vodka, everybody. That's a tough shell.

55:50 Guest I thought this would get us to the end of the year. This bottle is just about...

55:53 Adam That's a glass bottle.

55:54 Caller Well, we gave some to some of your employees, too.

55:56 Guest Oh, sweet, sweet.

55:57 Adam Engineer Chris? That little shot?

55:59 Guest I might, I might actually...

56:01 Caller They were the female employees.

56:02 Drew I might give a major mental consideration to some of your employees before I go to sleep tonight. Mental consideration.

56:17 Caller Who's that character with the cool chest?

56:20 Guest Whether or not a girl wants to touch my wiener, it's my wiener and I reserve the right to rub it.

56:24 Caller Right.

56:25 Adam It's not always her choice.

56:25 Guest And whether she wants to be there when I rub it, she can't stop herself from starring in a major mental image because she turned me on and she's going to get a load out of me.

56:36 Adam It's, again, it's a compliment. I'm sorry.

56:39 Drew It'll be quick, too.

56:41 Guest I'm here to be a good man.

56:43 Drew Joe, you're going to make sure it's quick.

56:45 Guest True.

56:47 Adam Joe.

56:47 Caller But Steve-O's not one to be stingy with a sausage.

56:51 Drew Joe.

56:52 Adam All right.

56:57 Guest Rusty, pull this show out of the fire, dude, for God's sake. I'm about to start talking about really inappropriate stories. Joshua, go ahead. Like when the dude went...

57:06 Hey, how you guys doing?

57:07 Guest Doing that one time. Go ahead.

57:09 Yeah, I'm 20 years old. I have a question. I had had a girlfriend for about a year and a half, and I really cared about her a lot and really, I guess, loved her in a sense. And for some reason...

57:20 Guest In a sense is very important. In a sense is very important, but if you can continue from then.

57:26 Caller Go.

57:28 And I was in love with her, I cared about her a lot, but for some reason I cheated on her a couple of times, and she found out about it and broke up with me.

57:36 Guest You see, this sounds like a story where you're not...

57:38 Caller That's one that we can relate to.

57:40 Guest It's not wrong until you get caught, and you're telling a story about getting caught. You're not about it being wrong.

57:45 Drew You should use Steve-O's logic, but be that as it may, maybe it's just you're not 20, you're young, maybe you really aren't ready for a stable relationship.

57:52 Guest It's not for some reason you're cheating, it's some reason you got caught.

57:55 Drew Or maybe you don't like intimacy, you have trouble with intimacy, and so you sabotage it.

58:00 I mean, yes, I guess the way I feel about it, I was just trying to figure out maybe I could do something different and be a different mindset to better prepare myself to be in a relationship.

58:11 Drew Yeah, don't have a girlfriend if you're going to be like that.

58:13 Caller It's the male instinct to hunt, and that's what we all have to accept.

58:17 Guest I mean, it's like when you have a dog, dude, of course you're going to pet other dogs.

58:22 Yeah.

58:22 Adam Women love their dogs.

58:23 Caller You know what?

58:24 Adam You've got a dog.

58:25 Guest That's the greatest analogy ever.

58:30 Caller You're obviously born with a natural instinct to hunt, and you just have to go with that, and you can deny it, which is... I struggle with it every day myself.

58:40 Guest See, I'm not going to name names, but like, there are... Of course I'm not going to name names, but even like no matter what your name is, like as long as murder is not premeditated, as long as murder isn't premeditated, it doesn't matter who you stab with your fleshy wand.

59:00 Caller Yeah, like...

59:00 Guest As long as you keep the fleshy wand in a latex sheath, it doesn't matter who you slay.

59:05 Adam Show.

59:07 Drew Really, Steve-O should be the Trojan spokesman. He really should.

59:10 Caller If you know a girl that you want to slay and you actually make the effort to call her and meet up with her behind your girlfriend's back, I think that's wrong. But, if you're out there and some girl in the heat of the moment, big fake balloons, is like rubbing them in your face, forcing you practically.

59:27 Guest Practically, exactly.

59:29 Caller No man can resist.

59:30 Guest Literally, literally even. You're on the question. No, it's like that one man. It's like that one man.

59:34 Caller You can, but it's extremely difficult. And that takes a talented man.

59:37 Adam Alright, Joe?

59:38 Guest A man who doesn't cheat on his girl is a man who can't get another girl. Bottom line.

59:44 Drew A loser.

59:44 Adam Joe?

59:46 Guest And if he does, if he tells her he's a liar. The pool of anonymous men is restricted to liars and losers.

59:54 Caller It admits to it, he's an idiot.

59:57 Drew Like Steve-O's view of humanity as rogues and disgusting.

1:00:00 Adam Yeah.

1:00:01 Guest It's like Conan the Barbarian.

1:00:05 Caller If you want to know how to live your life, just watch Conan the Barbarian.

1:00:09 Drew Sandra, try to read it.

1:00:10 Guest Read it.

1:00:10 Caller Read the books.

1:00:11 Adam Sandra?

1:00:12 Drew Wait, it's a girl.

1:00:14 Adam Sandra?

1:00:15 Caller Yeah.

1:00:16 Adam What's up?

1:00:17 Caller I had a baby about 18, 19 months ago.

1:00:21 Adam Great.

1:00:21 Caller Thank God.

1:00:23 Caller Well, before I had him, I used to love sex. I used to want to have it all the time. And we did. We did it everywhere. And now my libido is just down.

1:00:38 Drew How long ago was the delivery?

1:00:40 Caller He's 18 months old.

1:00:42 Drew And are you wanting medication now?

1:00:44 Caller No.

1:00:44 Drew What are you doing for birth control?

1:00:47 Caller An IUD, the five-year-old.

1:00:49 Guest Oh, the Zed Scream Cum Dumpster or what?

1:00:51 Drew Are you still breastfeeding?

1:00:55 Caller No. Poetry.

1:00:57 Drew Poetry, I tell you.

1:00:57 Caller Poetry, yeah. It sounds to me like you might want to give that part of your body a break and try door number two. You do need to do it.

1:01:11 Guest For God's sakes, whatever it takes.

1:01:14 Caller You might be a little bit traumatized afterwards, but just listen to a little radio.

1:01:18 Guest Think about Darwin. He would be directing you to door number two as well.

1:01:22 Drew Are your periods normal, Sandra?

1:01:25 Caller They're heavier.

1:01:26 Drew Okay. Sometimes getting on the birth control pill will sort of restart libido after baby. The biology that you've been through can really shut you down sometimes. Usually it gets more towards normal after about a year. Have you been depressed? Maybe. That's the other thing that led to this. If you end up having that treated, be careful. Some of the depression medication can shut you down even further. I think the first order of business is to talk to your gynecologist. Your doctor might get on a birth control pill because sometimes you get to go home already.

1:01:56 Guest It seems. This girl that I'm saying that I had this really crazy, committed relationship with, we didn't have sex for eight months.

1:02:13 Drew Why?

1:02:14 Guest Just because I told her, the first thing I told her, I said, look, I'm a dude like any other dude. As much as I want to be a good dude, I simply can't promise you anything except I can't promise you anything, so I said, hey, let's enjoy each other's company because we want to. As far as having sex, she deserved better, I couldn't lie to her. Honestly, it was the downfall of the relationship.

1:02:39 Adam He was pretty coked up and couldn't get a boner. That's basically what I'm saying. So eight months, no sex. Yeah.

1:02:46 Drew Not with her.

1:02:46 Adam Not with her. Yeah. Then what?

1:02:50 Guest Then we had sex and it was pointless.

1:02:53 Drew Sex was pointless.

1:02:54 Guest The way it ruined everything, you know?

1:02:56 Adam It ruined everything.

1:02:57 Drew Because she, because we had emotions. She actually had a relationship at that point.

1:03:01 Guest You just don't have sex with dudes. It's, you know, like, no dude can ever be.

1:03:06 Adam Well, but listen, you guys are coming up on 30, right?

1:03:10 Guest In like three weeks, I think.

1:03:12 Adam You'll start, things change at 30. Do they not, Drew?

1:03:15 Drew 35 and they really change.

1:03:18 Guest Yeah, but that's what you're talking about, humans. You know, like...

1:03:20 Drew You guys aren't humans.

1:03:22 Guest All right, I was... We're not civilians, dude. And I'm drunk. I forgot whatever the point was.

1:03:29 Drew We were talking about humans, all right.

1:03:33 Joe's here, yeah.

1:03:34 Adam What's happening, Joe? You're 20.

1:03:36 Caller Yeah, I'm 20. The actual thing is, Adam Carolla, I know you don't like anyone being bogus, so I'm going to be honest with you. I actually lied to get on because I totally appreciate what you guys are doing.

1:03:53 Guest Are you talking about the WBs?

1:03:55 Caller The Wildboys.

1:03:58 Adam Let's talk to Maureen. This is a girl and it's an oral sex question, so focus. Maureen?

1:04:04 Drew Yes?

1:04:05 Guest I'm not going to forget this one.

1:04:06 Adam You're 21?

1:04:07 Caller Mm-hmm.

1:04:08 Adam What's up?

1:04:09 Caller Okay, when I give oral to my boyfriend, right, and I swallow, is that all right? Will I get sick or anything like that?

1:04:18 Caller No, you'll get big muscles. That crap is full of protein. That's reason enough to do it alone.

1:04:26 Drew Maureen, if he has some sort of infection, you can get it, but without infection, there's nothing intrinsically.

1:04:33 Caller And proper medications can cure that anyway.

1:04:35 Guest Hey, that's what stomach acid's for, baby.

1:04:37 Drew Nothing intrus- true, but the esophagus can cure it.

1:04:39 Adam Where's the esophagus? Here? Where is it?

1:04:42 Guest From here to here.

1:04:45 Caller At worst, you're just going to end up with a toned muscular body.

1:04:49 Guest Right. Yeah. It's a great question. It's a great question.

1:04:53 Adam It's a fantastic question. Oh, by the way, if Steve-O labels it a great question.

1:04:58 Guest It's a great condition, especially. I mean, I have yet to hear a real horror story about oral sex. I haven't heard about oral sex overall. I've yet to hear a horror story. I want to hear a horror story. Like, herpes, herpes that's, herpes of the genitals doesn't even stay on the lips. Oh, yes. Well, but then...

1:05:21 Caller I've heard some debate about that.

1:05:23 Guest People would be afraid of it, because if people had herpes outbreaks on their oral lips, then everybody who had herpes would be like, wow, you have herpes. And if what you're saying is true, then where are all these people and why am I not afraid?

1:05:37 Drew If you have it down below, there may be some protection to getting it out there.

1:05:40 Guest See, the thing is, everybody should be like the Wildboys and run around butt-ass naked, put the genitalia on display.

1:05:47 Adam And then we know.

1:05:48 Guest And then we know. But the problem is that people aren't showing their genitals the way we are.

1:05:52 Adam That's right.

1:05:53 Caller And you see them on TV, you know it's cool. But, I once...

1:05:57 Adam Think about how much faster the airport lines would be too. And concerts, people being patted down and chacked and frisked. And by the way, they can get the finger. By the way, Drew...

1:06:08 Caller With bodies like this, it would be a crime not to show them to the world anyway.

1:06:12 Guest But hey, let's get back to the question. Drew, what's the answer? Should she be swallowing? Question will come.

1:06:17 Drew Question will yes, but if somebody is in a regular relationship with us, it's probably not going to do anything to her. But it has no calories, no nothing.

1:06:24 Guest Okay, now, let's say that you've got a really dirty guy.

1:06:27 Adam Let me just explain one thing with the swallowing. I don't explain my daughter because if I have a daughter...

1:06:32 Drew It's 50,000 calories per two times.

1:06:33 Adam I say swallow if you want.

1:06:34 Caller I can't believe you even mentioned daughter and swallowing in the same sentence.

1:06:38 Adam I'm going to try to educate her. I'm going to say, look, take the semen, spit it out, we'll take it to the lab, we'll have a check. If it checks out, then you can break it later.

1:06:46 Guest No, no, Dr. Drew, is swallowing any more dangerous than having it in your mouth and then spinning?

1:06:53 Drew Yes.

1:06:54 Adam Yes, goes by the esophagus.

1:06:57 Drew The esophagus is where people think it's going down. That's where they think a lot of the dark food hurts.

1:07:01 Caller Is it true that it is high in protein?

1:07:03 Drew No. It has almost nothing.

1:07:06 Adam You don't have to stop.

1:07:07 Guest Hey, Dr. Drew, dude, don't be oral-blocking. Tell them it's cool.

1:07:12 Caller There's a lot of vegetarian gals out there and they need a complete source of protein.

1:07:19 Adam We're going to take ourselves a little break. Well, what has more protein? That or a loogie?

1:07:25 Drew Same.

1:07:26 Adam Don't say that.

1:07:27 Drew But there is...

1:07:27 Caller There's soy... There's soy-semen.

1:07:29 Guest Again, in all seriousness... In a sense... In all seriousness, is there any... The worst-case scenario that this girl's talking about, okay? That the viruses, you know, that whatever's in... That whatever the esophagus is going to contract, it, like, herpes cannot be cured. Is there anything... Is there any consequences of swallowing after fellatio that are permanent and incurable?

1:07:53 Drew HIV and hepatitis.

1:07:55 Adam All right. But besides the minor ones...

1:07:56 Guest Well, thank God.

1:07:58 Adam All right. Let's think...

1:08:00 Drew Not if somebody has those things.

1:08:05 Guest Yes.

1:08:07 Adam Let's take a drink.

1:08:08 Drew Sorry, so as long as it's only HIV and hepatitis, there's no sexual transmitted disease to be given from all sex.

1:08:15 Adam Shut up, shut up.

1:08:16 Guest We gotta take a break. Stop talking.

1:08:19 Caller Karilla wants a cigarette.

1:08:21 Adam Alright, we'll be back. I'm Adam Carolla. That is Dr. Drew, Chris Pontius and Steve-O. The wallflower, as he's known to his buddies, is here tonight. Let's see if we can coax him out of a shell, get a few syllables out of it.

1:08:46 Guest Before we go on. Now, all these allegations of us bottoming out.

1:08:50 Adam No, no, no. They got a lot of energy, but you're losing your coherency.

1:08:54 Guest Yeah, that I am. There was one phone call I was guilty of completely, like, getting out of the night.

1:09:00 Adam Listen, it takes a big man to admit when he's loaded. Chris Pontius here. Wildboys, name of the show, Sunday nights, 10.30, MTV. Tune in this Sunday and watch Steve-O chicken out of a challenge. Only a second.

1:09:16 Guest Oh man, the one thing that was safe.

1:09:18 Adam If he was a fighter, he would be like 78 and two right now.

1:09:21 Guest If I was on cocaine on day two, I'd be drunk, I would have been fine.

1:09:25 Adam And you were in like South America, right? You really could have gotten close to America.

1:09:29 Guest It's growing up in the middle of a drug business. It's really screwing me.

1:09:31 Adam Yeah. Is that South America or Central America?

1:09:34 Guest Central.

1:09:35 Adam All right, but still good blow. You still get some good blow.

1:09:37 Guest I didn't do any, dude. That's what I was following up on.

1:09:39 Adam That's my point. You're in the blow capital of the world.

1:09:42 Guest I didn't, I was completely over it. I was taking pride in not doing it.

1:09:45 Adam Listen, as long as you learn a lesson, and it's not gonna happen again, I'm able to forgive you.

1:09:48 Guest The lesson I learned is I should probably get back in the blow.

1:09:50 Adam That's what I'm saying. As long as you don't try and get me a bunch of jumps, just promise me you're not gonna not do drugs again, and we can move forward. I need that commitment.

1:09:59 Caller Actually, Costa Rica, I found blocking capital of the world.

1:10:02 Adam Really?

1:10:03 Caller Yeah.

1:10:04 Adam Oh, I'm not sure we're allowed to use it.

1:10:07 Caller It was the week...

1:10:08 Adam Cross the road, and they blocked the traffic. All right. That makes perfect sense.

1:10:13 Guest Did I help that? Did I help out at all?

1:10:14 Adam I think you may, except for the part where you said it again.

1:10:18 Drew The USC is doing the land reset.

1:10:20 Caller Sometimes a woman invites some male friends out with her and she doesn't know that she's going to meet some attractive men, muscular, but not overly buff.

1:10:30 Guest That kind of boy next door good looks, you know?

1:10:34 Caller Rough trade.

1:10:34 Guest Rough trade.

1:10:35 Adam Let's talk to Katie, who's 18, over here. You're 18. What's up?

1:10:43 Caller Well, I have a quick story for the guys first, before I ask my question.

1:10:46 Adam Perfect.

1:10:48 Caller I go to a private school out here in New Hampshire and we have theology class. And one of the religions we studied was Hinduism.

1:10:57 Guest Theology isn't a study of religion, though, is it?

1:11:00 Caller Yeah, it is.

1:11:01 Guest Oh, it is?

1:11:02 Adam Sweet. Steve-O went to Clown College. Don't argue with him.

1:11:07 Guest That was St. Thomas Aquinas. He was a theologian. That means he studied religion? What's his study?

1:11:15 Adam Go ahead, Katie.

1:11:17 Caller But anyway, so we convinced our theology teacher to let us watch the one when you guys were in India and you guys were like piercing all through the stuff and walking on the grass.

1:11:26 Guest Yeah, oh yeah. It was a hot show.

1:11:28 Caller Oh yeah, but we all got zeros on our next test grade because we like to do our practice.

1:11:32 Guest Don't worry, we didn't get zeros in the ratings, baby.

1:11:34 Adam That's what it's all about.

1:11:37 Guest That's one where we licked the feet and Dr. Drew was worried about, so like we do expose ourselves to a lot of microbiology.

1:11:45 Drew You got a guy with elephantiasis.

1:11:47 Adam You licked his feet, you licked a giant foot. What about the scrotum that gets that big?

1:11:52 Guest Here you see Chris Pontius and I, like Pontius and I both have international documents of vaccination that we've been, like just the same way we collect stamps on our passport, we collect, I'm three shots away from being vaccinated from rabies for life.

1:12:08 Drew There's no vaccine against filaria though, which is what causes the...

1:12:11 Guest Okay, well we got like typhoid, polio, you can't get it at PIC, right? We got A and B, like...

1:12:17 Drew Well when you get the filariasis, when you get the elephantiasis, well hopefully we'll get it on the wiener.

1:12:23 Guest That's not like, is that really, what do you call it? It's a worm. When it can contagious, is elephantitis contagious?

1:12:29 Drew It's not really, it's a worm.

1:12:30 Guest Thank you. And plus there was so much, like the guy had such huge fricking feet, there's no way he had shoes on. There's so much dirt on, it's like in the ground, dude.

1:12:39 Adam Which is bad? The ground is in fact, that's how he got it.

1:12:43 Drew That's in fact where he got it from. He stepped on the ground.

1:12:45 Guest With the flaria on the ground. You know, but just like why I'm glad that, see like this year, less than four months into this year, I officially smoked grass in 12 different countries. Really? Sovereign states. Wow. In 2003 I smoked grass in 21 different countries. These are all countries where I think I drank tap water, and like once I get to a country that I haven't been to, I smoke grass and I drink tap water. Right. Because it makes me healthy. It builds my immune system, and marijuana makes me hungry and tired, so I can get rest and food, which is what sustains life.

1:13:20 Adam Right. You know, it would be a time saver, put the tap water in the bong. Suck it up that way. I'm just looking to shave time.

1:13:29 Caller He's done that.

1:13:30 Caller Kathy?

1:13:31 Guest I really have.

1:13:32 Adam I'm shocked. Kathy, you're 23. What's up?

1:13:37 Caller I was just curious to know if you guys could tell me why I would be more drawn to go back to an abusive relationship as opposed to develop a good one.

1:13:48 Guest Because it's like astrology. You're afraid to accept individuality and you want to be a part of some other group that you can pass your blame on.

1:13:58 Drew Somebody abused you growing up.

1:13:59 Adam That's right.

1:14:00 Guest Huh?

1:14:01 Drew Somebody abused you growing up. People compulsively reenact that when that happens.

1:14:06 Guest Dr. Drew, what do you think about this? Astrology makes me angry. Because it really does. As humans, we have our fingerprints. We're discussing and we're all individually. We're unique. So for somebody to be unique and fingerprints aren't even the same, why is it so important to find a way to not be an individual? Why do people have to associate themselves with a larger group? It's because they're not proud of who they are individually.

1:14:37 Caller People that were born on the same day. I was born on the same day as Ginger Rogers. And granted, I am a great dancer.

1:14:42 Drew Same guy. I found Ginger Rogers at a walk-in.

1:14:45 Guest People are born in the same month as me and they think they got like some staying in common. I'm personally offended by that because I'm an individual.

1:14:52 Adam Hold on. She wasn't asking about astrology though, was she?

1:14:55 Guest Well, she was asking what she was saying. Can you repeat the question, baby?

1:14:59 Drew Why would she leave an abusive relationship?

1:15:01 Guest Because she's afraid of being an individual on her own.

1:15:04 Drew Well, she's afraid of being intimate and has a compulsive tendency to act out for abusive relationships. When you've been abused, when people you have loved, particularly primary caretakers, have abused you, that gets wired in as a traction.

1:15:18 Adam Did you get abused, Kathy?

1:15:22 Drew Yeah, so there you go.

1:15:25 Adam Get some therapy.

1:15:26 Guest For God's sake, finding out the Klan at Santa Claus isn't real as abuse.

1:15:30 Caller Yeah, join the club, Kathy.

1:15:32 Guest You know, hey, obstacles arrive, baby. Overcome.

1:15:35 Drew Yeah, is Klan school for everybody?

1:15:38 Adam Well, wait, what kind of abuse did you suffer?

1:15:41 Guest As a kid?

1:15:44 Adam Now, I see. That's like same as Santa, right?

1:15:51 Guest Same thing.

1:15:52 Drew It is common, but it is a profound abuse, and it leaves an imprint on your brain during development. It needs to be treated.

1:15:58 Adam So who did this? Your dad?

1:16:00 Drew Grandpa, uncle.

1:16:01 Guest Who?

1:16:02 Caller Numerous different people throughout my life.

1:16:04 Drew Who started it?

1:16:09 Guest Baby, the first step to not being in an abusive relationship is to not need a relationship, is to focus on yourself as the individual, be proud of who you are and stand alone. Because if you can stand alone on your own two feet, then all of a sudden you're not going to need anybody else knocking you off them.

1:16:33 Adam That's what you know.

1:16:34 Drew That's what you're driven to, that you're attracted to that. It's your source of gratification and motivation.

1:16:41 Adam She just got to get some therapy.

1:16:45 Guest As long as you are weak as an individual and you can't stand on your own, then the only way to go is to fall. And like... Whatever it is, baby. Just rely on yourself because anyone that you hand your life over to isn't going to love it the way that you need to.

1:17:05 Adam And maybe shrink. Tina? You're 18? What's up? Hi.

1:17:14 Guest I want to say that you sound just about almost 18.

1:17:19 Adam She's 18.

1:17:21 Caller She's perfectly legal.

1:17:22 Adam Yeah. Colorado's like 15 too. What's up?

1:17:25 Guest I'm so proud of how that one day clicks over where you're not creepy anymore.

1:17:31 Drew You guys are. You're 30.

1:17:33 Guest Yeah. But 18 is sweet.

1:17:35 Adam Tina, what's your question?

1:17:37 Caller Well, sometimes 30-year-olds are hot. But anyway, well, I actually had two other things that I wanted to share with you guys. But my question was, like, you know when you go to concerts and when you come out, you have that sound in your ears kind of like a ringing, but not really? Well, I get that after I orgasm.

1:17:55 Guest Is that a girl?

1:17:57 Caller I was just wondering why.

1:17:58 Guest Are you bragging or? It doesn't sound like a problem to me. You just wanted to call up and say, hey, I'm having a great time and I like the show and by the way, I don't need any advice. Like, everything's going great.

1:18:15 Caller That's why sex and rock and roll are so much in common, baby.

1:18:17 Guest You know what I love about this show? You see, like, you know, I always wanted to, like, you know, I always wanted to have the sex, drugs and rock and roll lifestyle of the people that I idolized growing up. And I knew I wasn't a musician, so I just always figured, like, hey, I'm going to make a career out of nothing but just the sex and drugs. Forget about rock and roll. So, like, here we have a show that's devoted to substance abuse and genitalia and sex. I mean, this show is just sex and drugs. Forget about rock and roll. We're not even playing rock and roll on this show right now. What we're playing is sex and drugs, baby, and that's what The Wildboys are all about.

1:19:00 Adam Hey, all right, so Tina, is Tina fine? What should Tina do?

1:19:04 Drew Drew, focus.

1:19:05 Adam Get over here now. What's going on?

1:19:07 Drew Yeah, Tina, that's probably fine. You may be bearing down on hyperventilating.

1:19:10 Guest She's reveling in the moment. Hey, baby, you just, it's like fireworks going off. The fireworks are going on so hard. It's making you deaf.

1:19:18 Adam Uh, oops.

1:19:20 Drew Audrey.

1:19:25 Adam Audrey's going to have to hang on for a second.

1:19:26 Drew 93 minutes.

1:19:27 Adam 93 minutes. Oh, my God. Carmen? You're 17? Mm-hmm. What's up?

1:19:34 Guest Thank God it's not the Carmen I was with the other night.

1:19:39 Adam Big fat Canadian.

1:19:40 Guest Like, for God's sake, baby, it's supposed to be 19. Yeah. Oh, no. No, no, I hate now. My entire sense of humor is gone.

1:19:56 Caller Yeah, get rid of that.

1:19:57 Guest I'm, dude, there's not one, you know, like, I've always done drugs and to try to become a big rock star, there's not one damn that made, ever made crystal meth and amphetamines look good.

1:20:09 Caller Yeah.

1:20:10 Guest Carmen?

1:20:10 Caller A guy, yeah. A guy that we worked with just got, while we were filming, got a phone call from his ex-wife.

1:20:17 Guest Oh no, someone's dead.

1:20:17 Caller And found out that two of his friends had been murdered by one of their friends that they were trying to help out. It was like, just out of his mind.

1:20:23 Guest My best friend just got murdered by another one of my best friends. Speed kills. Speed's bad news, baby. It's made by douchebags and baths.

1:20:32 Drew It doesn't matter who it's made by. It's the chemical that makes it the way it does.

1:20:37 Guest Here's one of the cheapest drugs in the street, where like, plenty of other drugs are more expensive and you would think that like, but like, the cheapest drug on the street is the drug that when this causes people to run out of money and actually murder.

1:20:52 Adam How much is a gram of speed these days?

1:20:55 Caller I don't know, but it's cheap I think.

1:20:57 Guest I think it's about sixty bucks or eighty bucks for an eight ball of speed.

1:21:01 Adam Really?

1:21:02 Guest I can't understand it, but the thing is like, where like other drugs, people are committing crimes to attain the drug. In the case of speed, people are. Committing crimes because they're so absolutely...

1:21:21 Drew Everyone's out to get me.

1:21:22 Caller Maybe it is, but...

1:21:23 Guest I only ever hear about speed from witnesses in the stands saying, dude, I was on speed.

1:21:27 Adam Steve-O, hold on. Let's focus.

1:21:29 Drew Carmen, what's the question?

1:21:30 Caller Well, I cut down a lot and stuff, but now I feel like I have all these ants crawling on my skin like when I'm trying to go to sleep and stuff.

1:21:43 Drew Yeah, you're coming off just speed or you're cutting down something else too? On what?

1:21:48 Caller Just speed.

1:21:50 Guest Yeah, but then that's a symptom, not the...

1:21:53 Drew Well, you're not drinking, you're not smoking pot.

1:21:55 Caller I don't smoke pot anymore.

1:21:59 Guest There's more to you than speed, baby.

1:22:02 Drew Six months?

1:22:03 Caller Mm-hmm.

1:22:04 Drew And are you picking at your skin? Yeah, the picking and scratching all that is speed.

1:22:14 Guest Could this be also like guilt over the behavior?

1:22:19 Drew No, it's a tactile hallucination. It's called formication, where you feel like there are ants crawling on your skin. That's usually a withdrawal from a central nervous system to present like alcohol or pot. But you can get it from speed, and people start picking and picking and picking until they create ulcers in their arms and stuff. But, Carmen, you're not gonna stop. You are not gonna stop without treatment. You've got to go somewhere where you can be treated.

1:22:38 Adam No, my testicles got ants on them.

1:22:41 Drew I have very good success with people who want to stop.

1:22:46 Caller You've got to make it through this dark withdrawal time.

1:22:53 Guest I've even heard about it, and here you are doling out like promising optimism that you just can't believe in. It's just impressive to be on the show.

1:23:00 Drew No, no, if you want to stop, you can stop. If you don't want to stop, you ain't going to stop.

1:23:05 Adam All right, so Carmen, you want to stop?

1:23:07 Drew See, but you don't want to stop.

1:23:10 Adam What's Steve doing? He's having a good time.

1:23:13 Drew He doesn't want to stop. That's why there's no possibility.

1:23:17 Guest I feel like I'm being mean, but in cases where...

1:23:21 Caller You eat food, some foods are bad for you, and some foods are good. And speed is bad for you.

1:23:31 Adam I've got to write this down.

1:23:32 Guest The worse the food is for you, the better it tastes.

1:23:34 Adam So speed would be like Twinkie or canned chili.

1:23:37 Caller Yeah, I'd say get hooked on Viking in the store.

1:23:40 Guest All that powdered candy, sour stuff. Let's wrap it up, because I think we're drunk, and I've got to go get back to a new celebrity relationship.

1:23:47 Adam Alright, let's wrap it up.

1:23:48 Caller Carmen?

1:23:50 Drew Carmen's got to get treatment. Let's see, Tarzana Treatment Center.

1:23:55 Adam Chris Pontius, Thursday Night Show. Steve-O, we'll take a while, boss. Take a quick break. But, Drew, don't go anywhere. We'll be right back. Drew, put a chair in front of the door. I know. Chris Pontius and Steve-O.

1:24:20 Drew Tackle them as they get on.

1:24:22 Adam Wildboys. Uh...

1:24:26 Drew Let's just enjoy this quiet.

1:24:30 Adam Let's just focus. Chris Pontius has entered the room. Where's Steve, Chris?

1:24:40 Caller He's in the hallway right now.

1:24:41 Adam He's in the hallway. All right, that's good.

1:24:43 Caller He's peeing and smoking.

1:24:45 Adam He's peeing and smoking. I guess you can do both those things. Yes?

1:24:49 Drew But the K-Rock administration is going to love this.

1:24:51 Adam Oh, yeah. It smells like booze and cigarettes in here. It's rock and roll.

1:25:00 Drew It's not pot, dude.

1:25:06 Adam It's hot. It's hot.

1:25:10 Guest It's hot. It's hot, but it's not pot, come on, Drew.

1:25:14 Adam Super skunky, Drew.

1:25:15 Guest It is, huh, man? Now, I'm getting pot that's dealt to the stars.

1:25:20 Adam That's Everlast type pot. Oh, no, not Everlast.

1:25:23 Guest Am I wrong? Am I wrong that what keeps us alive is nutrition and rest? You know, like sleeping food is really...

1:25:31 Drew Yes. Those are two things you could use.

1:25:33 Guest And marijuana makes you hungry and tired, not to mention horny for reproducing, right? I mean, marijuana...

1:25:37 Adam That's a good point.

1:25:38 Guest I'm so proud to smoke it.

1:25:40 Adam It's like a dietary supplement. Yeah.

1:25:43 Guest And there's a really nary a thing I do, you know, in my life that isn't benefited by being a pothead.

1:25:52 Caller Sure. Steve-O, so 90s was Cypress Hill crap.

1:25:58 Adam I said Everlast, but I meant be real. Let's be real.

1:26:01 Guest The thing is, marijuana does make me shoot a little quicker. Oh, really?

1:26:07 Adam So you're down from mid-15?

1:26:10 Guest That's what makes me so quick on the reload is that, like, I think, like, God, here's this chick, you know? Like, I can't just let her...

1:26:15 Adam Yeah, but why don't you...

1:26:16 Guest I got to get more than one load out of this, so I just start firing up the bong.

1:26:19 Adam Don't... Once you fire up the bong after the first discharge, you know what I mean?

1:26:24 Guest I do. I'm saying that that's how I reload.

1:26:27 Drew But you do it before and after.

1:26:29 Guest Incessantly.

1:26:31 Caller Steve-O could be a unique case, though.

1:26:34 Drew Well, that goes without saying, but...

1:26:36 Guest I mean, I could be as unique as my fingerprints, for God's sakes.

1:26:39 Adam Patrick?

1:26:40 Caller Yes?

1:26:41 Adam You're 19.

1:26:42 Caller I am.

1:26:43 Adam What's up?

1:26:44 Caller Well, I have a two-part question for you guys. The first is, I was wondering if I could contract STDs from oral sex.

1:26:52 Drew We had a little conversation about this earlier this evening that struck horror... .story of my life.

1:26:56 Guest Nothing to worry about.

1:26:57 Drew You're fired... .struck horror into the hearts of the two young men visiting us tonight.

1:27:00 Guest No, it didn't, dude.

1:27:05 Adam As a guy, it's more difficult.

1:27:06 Guest The question is, can you get killed walking across the street? Yes, you can. So just keep sucking. No, no, no. If you want to live your life in fear, dude, yeah, your life is going to suck. Put it to you that way.

1:27:19 Adam Patrick is receiving oral sex.

1:27:27 Guest Yeah, I like it.

1:27:28 Caller You're fine, man. I received it from a young working gal on the streets, free of charge. Yeah, I don't know why. Actually, someone mugged me earlier.

1:27:39 Guest You know, and you were broke and you said, hey.

1:27:42 Caller And I was broke and she came up to me and I'm like, someone stole all my money.

1:27:46 Guest I can't help you. You actually like... The truth is that he got to talking to a street individual. Right. It was a chick, right?

1:27:56 Drew Probably, probably.

1:27:58 Caller Yes, she was.

1:27:59 Guest It was definitely a chick. But it wasn't that you had had your wallet stolen, your intentions were to pay for it. It was just that she won you over with her personality.

1:28:07 Caller Yeah, but while it was going on, I was like, you know what? And it was free. And I was like, you know what? I kind of deserve this. I lost all my money.

1:28:16 Caller She was like...

1:28:17 Caller I've been to the doctor like three times since then and I'm totally cool.

1:28:20 Adam She's like a little angel sent down from heaven. Amber?

1:28:24 Yeah?

1:28:25 Adam You're 21?

1:28:26 Caller Yes, I am.

1:28:27 Adam What's going on?

1:28:29 Caller All right. I just have a question for you guys. A gentleman actually abused me and my sister and he's going out for parole. Now we can either like get there...

1:28:38 Guest Was that parole from being imprisoned for the crime against you and your sister?

1:28:42 Caller Yes. And other people, of course.

1:28:44 Adam And another people.

1:28:45 Caller He's going out for that. I was wondering like, you know, we can write a letter to try and get him not to be able to get out of jail. And I was wondering like also during that time period, does that give us an option to like have him pay for like counseling sessions for us?

1:29:00 Guest Sounds like that would have been a civil suit, unrelated and long ago, the best you can do is a restraining order at this point.

1:29:07 Adam Well now, okay, let's...

1:29:08 Guest Now I watch a lot of court TV, dude.

1:29:10 Adam There's a couple of good questions brought up here, which is, is there, there must be like an automatic restraining order when somebody gets out of the joint for sexually molesting somebody and his victims. Don't you think there's probably something that's in place?

1:29:26 Drew You would think, but I don't know that for a fact.

1:29:28 Adam I would assume in situations like that, Doris.

1:29:30 Guest I would say that if it was, if his actions coming out of prison were so deliberately like directed towards you, that he's not going to stand a chance of getting to you.

1:29:42 Caller If I were you, honestly, I would pull a Rambo and take the lawn to my own hands.

1:29:46 Drew Her question is, should she go to the hearing or not, and should she get involved in all this?

1:29:51 Adam He's coming up for parole.

1:29:53 Drew You're not going to get anything out of going to this other than keeping him in prison.

1:29:57 Caller Go fight, win.

1:29:59 Guest No, no. It's basically like antagonizing a bee's nest.

1:30:03 Adam No, no.

1:30:03 Guest Like, don't get in.

1:30:05 Drew She could always write a letter and get him kept.

1:30:07 Adam Listen, she wants to keep him in the joint.

1:30:08 Drew She could write a letter.

1:30:09 Guest No, it's not. Don't be afraid. I think by writing a letter and keeping him in the joint, I don't know what anonymity comes with that. You know?

1:30:16 Adam Yeah.

1:30:16 Guest Like, I'd say, like, writing a letter, you know, could kind of make a target out of her. What she should do is just say, hey, I just want, if he gets out, him not to be able to come near me.

1:30:27 Adam All right. But, you know? Amber. How long has he been in prison?

1:30:32 Caller He's been in prison, I think, probably, well, I think it's been probably, like, maybe fifteen to twenty years, I think.

1:30:41 Guest Well, how old are you, baby?

1:30:42 Caller I don't remember, but my sister is, like, suffering from, like, dissociative disorder.

1:30:47 Guest See, even if this guy's in prison and he's not thinking about coming out and coming to get her, then, like, once she's made it clear that she wants him to stay in prison, it's not about the crime or the relationship between these two anymore. It's about this bitch wanted me to stay in prison and now I'm going to get her because of that.

1:31:09 Caller Don't ask for terrorism, don't ask for terrorism, Steve-O, if you were a president of a country, your country would get taken over.

1:31:16 Drew His 20 years in prison haven't done anything to his taste for young people, I'm sure.

1:31:20 Adam Well, she's too old now.

1:31:21 Guest She sounds really young.

1:31:22 Caller He's not a murderer, he's a child.

1:31:23 Guest How old are you, baby?

1:31:25 Adam Hold on, 21. We'll take a break. We'll be right back. All right. I want to thank Engineer Anderson, Engineer Chris.

1:31:44 Guest Oh, no.

1:31:44 Adam Hey, they're back. Junior, Junior, Junior Producer, Lorne, we're just saying bye, everybody. Steve-O and Chris P.

1:31:53 Guest We have time for a final thought. Oh, do we miss it? No. For once, we weren't doing cocaine, but the final thought for tonight is that if you feel like it's time to settle down and be monogamous, then it's time to dig a six-foot fricking hole and die in it. All right.

1:32:15 Adam If you want to, wild boys, everyone, we got to say bye. We're going to kick us off the satellite.

1:32:20 Guest What a great final thought.

1:32:21 Adam Sunday nights, 1030 on MTV. MTV. We'll see you real soon. Yes. Yeah.

1:32:30 Caller Thanks, guys.

1:32:32 Guest It was always a pleasure. And Dr. Drew swore on the air.

1:32:35 Adam Until next time, Adam Carolla for Dr. Drew, saying mahalo.

1:32:39 Guest Question is, can you get killed walking across the street? And yes, you can. So just keep sucking.

1:32:47 Caller This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or this station. The producer for Loveline is Annie Gold. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Thursday, May 13, 2004