Episode 1000608144428

0:54 Voiceover Loveline may contain sexually-oriented content.

1:00 Voiceover Loveline with Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew.

1:03 Hey everybody, quiet down Drew.

1:06 Adam It's Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1, Dr. Drew, board certified physician, addiction medicine specialist. The darkness is here tonight. Dan and Matt Franke are first in the studio. This is nice, you've never seen Dr. Drew.

1:23 I've never, it's nice to finally see your face.

1:26 Adam You've never heard of Dr. Drew either.

1:30 The Darkness I thought we were in with Dr. Dre.

1:32 Adam No, never seen Drew, never seen myself?

1:34 Drew No, never not. All right.

1:35 The Darkness Heard lots about you guys.

1:36 Adam Cause Drew is a huge C slash D level celebrity here in the States, so it's surprising that you've not caught wind of him over the pond.

1:47 Drew Finally we've crossed.

1:49 Adam Fantastic.

1:50 We are- C-List United.

1:53 Adam We, we're gonna hear something in the first hour and second hour from the Darkness CD, Permission to Land. Let's see, these guys are on Leno tonight. How was that? So you already did that.

2:05 The Darkness Yeah, it was good fun.

2:07 Adam Was it good?

2:07 The Darkness Yeah, I mean, we're catered well for backstage and that's normally the bane of our lives at TV shows. You get stuck in a cupboard and you're not allowed out. Right. Because you get run over by a taxi, it ruins their show.

2:20 Adam Right, right, they have wranglers and everyone wants to know where you are and they need you there four or five hours in advance and it's real important that you get there and then sometimes you say, well, look, I got an appointment, could I get there a little later? And they go, no, no, no, no, no.

2:32 The Darkness It gets a bit silly.

2:33 Adam Then you wait around.

2:33 The Darkness It gets a bit silly when you're two hours in, you haven't been to the toilet and you still need to go.

2:39 Adam Yeah, but they got a bar there.

2:41 The Darkness Exactly.

2:41 Adam I think I did the show once. You see, I am a C-list celebrity. Where Drew is a D-list celebrity. So I have actually done The Tonight Show a couple of times. But you know, with the bands, the crowd there is not necessarily there to see you, even though they can't enjoy you. It's a little different, I guess, in playing a show, one of your shows.

3:01 The Darkness I guess it's a different kettle of fish, isn't it? And it's hard to get across what your band is all about in one song.

3:08 Adam And especially, I don't want to seem biased here, but the Leno crowd, a little bit older, a little bit more tight.

3:16 We pride ourselves in bringing people together. Our purpose on this earth, if you exclude the music, is to bring people together. And we pride ourselves in that. That's the challenge that we rise to.

3:29 Adam Not the old people, though.

3:31 Yeah, no, no, of course we do. We have not just parents bring the kids to shows, we have grandparents bring the grandchildren to our shows.

3:37 Adam Really?

3:37 We do. Don't ask me why I'm not a sociologist. I may well have been if I hadn't chosen music, but the fact is is that we do. Don't ask me why I'm not gloating, I'm not bragging.

3:49 Adam But that's kind of nice.

3:50 We bring people together.

3:51 Adam Well, and people aren't going to grow out of your music, like, I don't know, Limp Bizkit or something.

3:56 Oh, cruel. True, true, of course.

3:59 Adam These guys are going to be on Jimmy Kimmel Live tomorrow. He's my mate. That's what we call friends out here. We call them mates.

4:06 I hear rumors that Quentin Tarantino may be producing his show tomorrow.

4:12 Adam Yeah, he's going to be a guest tomorrow night. He's a dear, dear, dear personal friend that I've never actually met, but I like to think we have some of the same ideas. Yeah, he's going to be on a Kimmel show tomorrow night. And I don't want to give anything away, but I think you guys and Tarantino are all going to go see Kill Bill 2 after the show tomorrow night.

4:35 Drew Nice.

4:35 Adam So if you want to hang out, I think you guys are all going to go with Tarantino and watch Kill Bill. I don't know if you saw the first one.

4:42 The Darkness I hope he doesn't keep saying, oh, wait, the next bit. Oh, and then she dies at this bit. Oh, watch this bit. It's amazing.

4:48 He's quite a hyper guy. Well, last night we actually met the opposite, the inverse of Tarantino and that was Jim Jarmusch, who's a lovely guy, you know?

4:58 Adam Yeah, you met him on the tonight show?

5:01 Enigmatic. No, I just met him in the backstage of our show. He's watching our show, believe it or not.

5:06 Adam Well, that's cool.

5:06 It was really great to meet him. It was a real shock, you know?

5:10 Adam And now, I mean, this is your debut CD, but you've been to the States before? You've played in the States before?

5:16 Yeah, we came here as an unsigned band two years ago, first of all. We did Sight by Southwest. And unfortunately, no one wanted to know us. However, we came knocking again a year later, and it's just been like step-by-step guide, and third time lucky this year, you know? It's gone like a dream.

5:34 Adam Well, we're gonna hear something. As soon as we get the clean version of the Darkness CD, Hang on, it's gone 10. we'll be hearing that. And now we'll go to the phones. All right, so here's how the show works. Young kids call in trouble, and we make fun of them. Kelsey, but we unite. We bring people together, and then we bring them together and we make fun of them. Kelsey? You're 18? What's up?

6:01 Caller Well, me and my friend kind of had this bet, and we were wondering what side you and Drew would be on. And I'm a virgin, and he says it's unhealthy for me to be a virgin, and I don't think so, so.

6:14 Adam Yeah, the hymen can go cancerous, yes Drew?

6:17 Drew No, Adam.

6:18 Adam Get a vagusectomy or something. That's what happened to my sister, I'm pretty sure.

6:21 Drew Well, poor dear. But no, there's nothing unhealthy about that.

6:25 Adam That's probably a little bit healthier, right?

6:27 Drew Absolutely. If you wanna know, if you, but Kelsey, if you wanna know why you would be healthy, listen to this show for 20 minutes, and you immediately avoid all the hell and chaos that so many of our college go through, right? There you go.

6:38 Adam All right, is he trying to have sex with you?

6:40 Drew Yes.

6:42 So this one's Catholic?

6:44 Adam This is what you call lose-lose for him.

6:46 Drew Yeah, he's begging her to reconsider.

6:49 Adam You're 18.

6:50 Caller Yes.

6:51 Adam You're Virgin.

6:52 Caller Yes.

6:53 Adam Are you Catholic?

6:55 Caller I am indeed.

6:56 Drew Because you're learning a good lesson about male friends. Male friends are your friends at your age for a reason. They're waiting around. They're just biding their time.

7:05 The Darkness Hang on, thank you.

7:06 Adam The vultures, yes.

7:07 I find that very harsh.

7:08 The Darkness There's a way around that, isn't there, if you're Catholic, that you were telling me about?

7:12 Well, there's only two ways of looking at this, actually. Not just one way, two ways. Cobwebs grow in unused corners and crevices. And where there's cobwebs, there's often spiders. And you have to choose if your boyfriend is a spider spider or a scorpion.

7:33 The Darkness There's a choice between a spider and a crab.

7:35 Adam Hey, Kelsey? Okay, sorry about that. They're from England.

7:44 No, Kelsey, actually, I think it's awful for men to behave in such an insensitive way. So I think you should possibly explain a little bit more if you don't mind.

7:52 Adam Yeah, and he wants to have sex with you, right? Is he interested in you as a girlfriend?

7:59 Caller We already did that, actually.

8:01 Drew Right, he's not a friend, he wants sex.

8:02 Adam All right, you won the bet and tell him he's gonna win the Blue Balls bet, okay? What happened to Blue Balls, Drew? We don't hear about it much anymore.

8:12 Drew Oh, no, I do. When I go to the college campuses, they're still talking about it. Oh, yes, and to some extent, of course, it exists. It's lymphatic and venous congestion.

8:19 Adam Sure, we just don't hear about it so much.

8:21 Drew For the most part, it is a point of contention for manipulation.

8:25 Adam Do you guys have Blue Balls in England? So, what do you call them? Well, it's a syndrome.

8:30 The Darkness Anytime I've had Blue Balls is after I had a game of football, game of soccer.

8:34 Adam Oh, we actually black and blue.

8:35 The Darkness In December.

8:36 Adam Oh, I see, cold. Yeah, you get a shin in the nuts. No, but do they use the term Blue Balls in England?

8:43 No, I've never heard of them. What does it mean?

8:44 Adam No, okay, we'll tell you. Like, let's say you've been with a chick and you've been making out the whole night, but you never get to go to the next level. So it's five hours of just sort of feverish, dry humping.

8:56 Drew Tension, but no release.

8:57 Adam That's right. Congestion down there.

9:00 The Darkness And the balls go blue.

9:01 Drew Well, they call them that.

9:04 The Darkness Well, I think I'd probably knock one out before then.

9:07 Adam Yeah, well, one would think. Well, you're, you know, the band's doing well now, so don't worry.

9:11 The Darkness Yes.

9:11 Adam Don't worry. I'm just saying before, you know, like when you guys were doing South by Southwest a few years ago, it's hard to knock them out because you can't find the partner. All right, ready to move forward here, Drew?

9:22 Drew Terminator Florida.

9:23 Adam Okay, this is a game that I'll be goddamned if this hasn't made it across the pond, Drew. This is called Germany or Florida. All bizarre stories either emanate from Germany or Florida. All the morose and the macabre, all the strange, usually acts of crime from Germany or Florida. People call in, they tell us a story, and we guess, is it Germany or Florida? Will?

9:45 Yeah, hi.

9:48 Adam Here's our theme.

9:50 Caller Sex, meth, and death fetishes. Both of them have got these.

9:53 Guaranteed not to bore ya, Germany or Florida.

9:56 Caller All right.

9:57 Adam Go ahead, Will.

9:57 Caller All right, first of all, Adam, you're an amazing man.

10:00 Adam Thank you.

10:01 Caller If I did believe in God, you'd be him. Dr. Ben, Dr. Drew, really smart man. My mom and dad are both doctors, so. Anyway.

10:10 Drew So you never see them, sorry.

10:11 Caller All right. The naked body of a 27-year-old man was found draped across the back of a killer whale in a whale tank on the morning of July 6th. He had apparently hidden in the zoo after closing time and to try and paint one of the whales with his computer programming company when he drowned in this cold, salty water of the tank. The 14-year-old whale may have played with the man's body if it were a toy. The whale bit the man's groin while the whale was trying to take his green shorts off. The shorts were found at the bottom of the tank, Germany or Florida.

10:47 Drew Let's figure this one out. How we gotta think now? You'd think Florida because they have lots of those marine land, but he let a little clue go. He said it's a zoo.

10:55 Adam He even called it Marine Park or something like that. Interesting.

10:59 Drew So already they would never call a place in Florida with a killer whale a zoo.

11:04 Adam Interesting, interesting. Also, I feel like we would have heard about it if it was over here.

11:09 Drew But then, computer.

11:12 Adam It's tough. I'm going Germany on this one.

11:15 Drew Germany.

11:15 Adam Frankie?

11:16 The Darkness I got Florida.

11:17 Drew Florida.

11:17 The Darkness Good.

11:18 Adam Dan?

11:18 The Darkness Yeah, Florida.

11:19 Drew Florida.

11:20 Adam All right, we got two Germany, two Florida. Wow.

11:23 It's heating up.

11:27 Adam Wow.

11:28 All right, here we go. Will?

11:31 Adam Germany or Florida? It was Florida. Oh, wow.

11:35 Drew Well done.

11:36 Adam British invasion, everybody. Beating us at our own game. That's like, well, once in a while when the Japanese beat us at baseball. It's smart. It's our game. It's Germany or Florida. This is our game, you understand?

11:48 The Darkness I heard tonight that whale meat actually tastes quite nice.

11:52 Adam Oh, really?

11:52 The Darkness And can be, can be, make a delicious meal.

11:57 Adam Not, I wonder if killer whale tastes worse than sperm whale.

12:01 Drew Well, killer whale is not a whale. It's a dolphin, basically.

12:03 Adam Oh, it is?

12:04 Yeah.

12:05 Drew It's in that family.

12:06 Adam It's got the word whale right in the title.

12:08 Drew I know.

12:09 I know.

12:09 Adam All right, so it's not a whale.

12:10 Drew Sperm whale is not actually a sperm, even though it's right in the name.

12:14 Adam Uh-huh. Yeah.

12:15 The Darkness Yeah. Killer whales do kill things. Other whales don't.

12:18 Adam Yeah.

12:18 The Darkness Unless you count plankton as things, which you shouldn't.

12:20 Yeah, you know, if you crossed a sperm whale with a blue whale, you would have blue balls, wouldn't you?

12:29 Adam Do whales have balls? Were we talking about sperm whales on the show? Yeah, that's good times. All right, let's talk to Lola, who's a boy, Drew. We got to get back now with this Germany or Florida.

12:42 Drew I know, we're out.

12:43 Adam Lola? You're 15?

12:45 Caller Yep.

12:46 Adam What's up?

12:48 Caller Well, all right, I've been bulimic ever since probably around last November, I got caught smoking pot. And so basically my parents were really like disappointed in me and I got kind of upset about all that. And I got out of a really bad relationship. So I was upset about that. I became bulimic. About two months ago, I started dating this 17 year old. And he basically wanted something really serious. And I was not ready for that. I didn't want that. So I broke things off with him. And he, ever since then, he has constantly been nagging me like calling my cell phone constantly, calling my house constantly, calling my friends, trying to get a hold of me. I wasn't throwing up for a long time while I was with him. But now that we're over and he's gotten me so stressed, I've started again.

13:45 Drew Do you cut or also?

13:48 Caller No, no.

13:50 Drew When people cut and purge, it tends to be at times of extreme stress, right? It's a bid for affect regulation, the bid to try to control overwhelming feelings.

14:00 Caller I think that's what it is.

14:02 Drew Of course, that's what it is. But Lola, here's the deal. Whenever you become distressed, these symptoms are going to get worse. And the problem is, bulimia is a chronic condition, is a potentially fatal condition, it has a specific treatment and you've got to get it cared for. Does your family know you're bulimic?

14:17 Adam Germany, I'm in Germany.

14:18 Drew Florida. All right. And why don't they take you to some care, right? Don't worry. You get to talk to the team that's taking care of you about this guy that's being such a pain in the ass. Don't worry about him. He will be fine. You've got to focus on taking care of yourself because this is a very, very serious condition.

14:36 Adam I can't imagine. Drew, you got a daughter. Way do you get some horny 18 year old coming around.

14:42 Drew Here's what you know about her. Her dad is probably abusive and that's why she picked the abusive guy. And that's why she's stuck in the cycle of abuse again.

14:48 Adam Is he abusive or is he sort of fed?

14:51 Drew The first guy was, she said, was sort of treat her the way she didn't want to be treated kind of thing.

14:57 Adam Is your, was your dad abusive?

14:59 Caller No, no, not at all.

15:03 Adam Where is he? Is he around?

15:05 No, he's sleeping.

15:07 Drew Why did you pick, why did you pick a guy that was such, you said you were in a bad relationship. Why did you pick that kind of guy?

15:13 Caller I don't, I'm not really sure. I met him through one of my friends and it was kind of like we liked each other for a while. And it was like, he was really nice in the beginning, but I really didn't see like his true colors till we were dating for a while.

15:25 Drew That's that, yeah, whatever. But there's something there, Lola. That's the reason you're here.

15:29 15, you get hooked up.

15:31 Adam All guys are really cool at the beginning. It's hard to tell, the weirdos. I was watching it.

15:36 Drew And yet you know the Spidey sense people have. They'll find it.

15:39 Adam What about the Spidey in the Vaginae we were talking about?

15:41 Drew That was the webs in the Spidey. That's not mouse.

15:43 Adam Spidey sense something else. I was watching this Ted Bundy. You guys know Ted Bundy, the serial killer we got out here?

15:50 The Darkness Rings of Bell. Rings of Bell.

15:54 Yeah, we got, oh yeah.

15:55 Adam Oh, we're thick. We're going to start exporting them as a matter of fact. We got too many serial killers out here. Just actually white guys who dress nice, loners, quiet. You know, they'd fit right in. Invisible people. Invisible people. Yeah, but you know, some of these guys are nice looking and they have a real rap.

16:14 Drew As a matter of fact, the sociopaths are very pleasant.

16:17 Adam Sociopaths have a huge rap. They come across actually much better than I do. Way better.

16:23 Drew Yeah. They make you feel good.

16:25 Adam Yeah. I mean, not, you know, they make you feel good. Right. Yeah.

16:29 So how come in Hollywood flicks is always the English sociopath?

16:33 Adam Yeah, you know, something happened where we used, you know, for a while we just made, we just made the villains, well, first we made them Nazis, because that's easy.

16:42 Then shins.

16:43 Adam And then later on we made them Russians. And then for a while we got a little confused and weren't sure what direction to go.

16:49 Drew So we just made them suspect.

16:50 Adam We went with the Brit for a while. Then we went with the Middle Eastern, but not quite sure where. And it could have been sort of a cross between a Vietnamese and it's like a little Cambodian and a little Vietnamese. And then some crazy Middle Eastern stuff going on. And then we just decided, let's just get a really good looking diabolical British accent guy. Cause you know the thing I was thinking about too, most villains are really handsome. Where in real life, I don't think villains are as attractive.

17:21 Drew Exactly.

17:22 Adam You know what I mean? I mean they're actually good looking guys. I mean they're actually good looking guys.

17:25 The Darkness Guys have to lure their prey.

17:26 Drew That's exactly right.

17:28 The Darkness There's gonna be, I mean it's not all about looks, is it? You know, it's gonna be quite charming.

17:33 Drew I was having a discussion night at the hospital, we were talking about how women tend to see the emptiness and pain in the sociopathic males and men tend to see the pain in the borderline females. And so they try to rescue the women.

17:43 The Darkness That emptiness can draw people towards you.

17:45 Drew And the women seem to be drawn to the men. They sort of tune into that pain.

17:48 Isn't it beautiful? It's God's way.

17:51 Adam Let me defend Hollywood just a little bit more. The English guys that are the criminal masterminds, they're not just thugs.

17:58 Drew They're smart.

17:59 Adam They're geniuses. They've used their genius for evil. We recognize them as highly evolved.

18:04 Drew In this country, an English accent denotes genius.

18:07 Adam Yeah, makes you smart.

18:08 Drew It's just media.

18:09 I think it's the chicken and the egg, actually. I think it's because they're Shakespearean actors who are versed and able to play the villain because of the roles in English theater.

18:19 Adam It's interesting. I never thought about that, but yeah, yeah. And it's so, so they're diabolical, which is much better than just being, you know, brilliant. All right, what are we gonna do, hear a song? Let's take one call and then we'll hear a song. This is Alyssa, who's 15. Alyssa?

18:38 Yeah.

18:39 Adam You're 15?

18:39 Caller Mm-hmm.

18:41 Adam You lost your virginity?

18:43 Caller When I was nine.

18:44 Adam When you were nine to a 36-year-old guy? You were perfectly normal, perfectly healthy.

18:50 Caller Yeah.

18:50 Drew Welcome to America, gentlemen. That would not be losing one's virginity. That would be being the victim of sexual abuse, Alyssa, right?

19:00 Caller Well, it was more like seduction because I didn't fight back or anything, but.

19:04 Drew No, no, no. At nine, you can't fight back. You can't make choices.

19:08 Adam Look, yes, you could scratch somebody if you wanted to, but the point is is.

19:13 Drew When you have an older person there.

19:15 Adam You're not, you have no copability here. This guy was a criminal, pure and simple. I, okay, it's sad that you feel like you have some responsibility.

19:25 Drew Or anything to do with this experience.

19:27 Adam Yeah, even the fact that you feel like you have 10% responsibility just because you didn't kick and scream is ridiculous.

19:34 Drew One of the things that happens to us is that when you're being sort of neglected at home, I don't know if this is your story or not, but they feel sort of, yeah, you'll see the attention by this adult, even though it's sort of hard to understand and shattering in its own way, is so satisfying because it's somebody showing you love and attention.

19:51 Caller That's exactly what happened.

19:53 Drew Yeah, and so you feel guilty for that and you feel overwhelmed that you somehow brought this on yourself or you participated in it.

19:58 Adam Who was the guy, by the way?

20:00 Drew It's okay that for God sakes, you felt a human hand as being sort of caring and connecting to you, but the fact is this guy was a bad guy and a criminal. And be careful now, you're gonna be drawn to people like this. It's sort of in your wiring now.

20:13 Adam Whoa, whoa, whoa, where'd you meet this guy?

20:15 Caller Camping on the Bay.

20:16 Adam Oh, okay, yeah, we get out that way. I have no idea where that is.

20:22 Caller I go there, it's in San Diego. I go there every 4th July.

20:25 Drew It's a camp?

20:27 Adam And what does he do?

20:29 Caller I have, no, he was just there the one week that I was there, so I haven't seen him since.

20:35 Adam Is a camper or a counselor?

20:37 Drew As a counselor or something?

20:40 Adam What was he doing there?

20:41 Caller He was walking on the beach? No, it's a campground, it's a family campground.

20:46 Drew I see, he was just a creditor.

20:47 Adam He was just a camper.

20:49 Caller Yeah.

20:49 Drew It's the beach, dude, just free spirited, Adam. Relax, come on, you're too uptight, Adam. Come on.

20:53 Adam Oh, my God. I pray this guy got like a rusty s'more put up his ass or something, some sort of camping related accident.

21:03 Drew But then, of course, you know he was sexually abused as well, too, so.

21:07 Eh, eh, do you have to?

21:08 Drew Pretty much, how do you get that hankering otherwise?

21:11 Adam I don't, yeah, well, hold on a second. As a guy, okay, if you're a 35-year-old guy and you're going after 10-year-old boys, there's a good chance you were sexually abused when you were young.

21:21 Drew Yes, yeah, that's what it goes with that saying.

21:24 Adam But if you're a 35-year-old guy who's going after a nine-year-old chick.

21:28 Drew Usually, physical abuse can be.

21:29 Adam Can't you just be sort of good and effed up?

21:32 Drew Yeah, but usually there's something like that in there. Some heavy-duty physical abuse. Something to make him attracted to that, to need to fuse to that age group. His source of pain is around that same time of development.

21:44 Adam Darkness gonna be on Leno tonight, by the way. Sausage time at the molestation.

21:49 Caller Yeah?

21:51 Adam Tell whoever just came in here not to slam the goddamn door. Yeah? You're, okay, so you're 15. Have you got any therapy for this?

22:00 Caller I actually just started therapy. But what's been going on since I was nine was I've always hung out with older guys. And so I had sex a lot after that because I just thought it was like the normal casual thing to do. And my question was that I've never had an emotional attachment to any one person that I've had sex with. Because like usually like I just first meet him and we agree to just have sex.

22:27 Drew While Alyssa, you will sexualize lots of your feelings. It's gonna be very difficult.

22:31 Caller Yeah, that's right.

22:33 Drew You gotta just listen, you gotta have a little, it's like any other compulsion or addiction. You gotta stop, start working on things a little bit, start experiencing a broader range of feelings without falling back on this old way of doing things. So you can build the possibility for connecting with people and having real relationships.

22:48 Adam Yeah, it'd be nice. It'd be nice if bad things happened to guys who did this kind of stuff.

22:55 Drew Absolutely.

22:56 Adam And I don't know if they ever do. Where's the God? Where's everybody? Shouldn't bad things, I bet this guy's probably won the lottery a couple of times since he raped this nine year old.

23:05 Drew I'm just gonna surf, goes to camps.

23:07 Adam All right, so listen, get some therapy. Please stop acting out. Sorry for what happened to you. The darkness is here tonight. We should hear a song, but now we're running late. We got some band questions. Let's take a quick question for the band, then we'll take a break, then we'll come back. Then we'll hear a song, then we'll talk to more people, then I'll go to the bathroom, probably number one, then we'll take some more calls and we'll go home. Perfect. Okay, that'll be about the next two hours. So that's it, wait a minute, now we got a question for you. Laurel?

23:36 Caller Hello?

23:38 Adam What's up?

23:39 Caller I was wondering, I have a question for the Darnitia.

23:42 Caller Here they are.

23:44 Caller Hi, first of all, I love you guys, you're my favorite band, you're awesome. I saw your show on Tuesday. And it's the most awesome thing I've ever seen.

23:55 Caller My question is, what's coming up next? I mean, are you planning on recording another album, or touring, wedding festival, SNL, anything?

24:06 The Darkness Well, we're coming back in June to tour here, and in September again, so, we're writing for the new album, and so on and so forth. And I'd just like to say that we're a little bit shocked about this program. We weren't really informed as to kind of what it was, and how serious it was, and the sort of things, and we thought it was based around the darkness, and it's not, and these guys are doing a great job with their advice and stuff, so this will be the last you'll hear of us on this show tonight, I'm afraid. Yeah, but thanks for calling in, thanks for being a great fan. We'll be in America for another two tours towards the end of the year, and thanks for your support. And I'm sorry to everyone who listened. It's got questions for us, but this isn't us.

24:45 Adam All right, well, listen, I respect that.

24:47 The Darkness Yeah, I appreciate you guys for what you're doing, but it's not what I expected.

24:51 Yeah, we're not really qualified to kind of talk about this question.

24:54 Adam No, I understand. We got a lot of tough questions tonight. I mean, normally, we get a few of these, but they're not quite as...

25:03 The Darkness This is not what we're on this for. I think you guys carry on doing what you're doing.

25:07 Drew But be careful though, because the celebrities play a very important role in here, because that's who this age group listens to. And if you are able to reinforce any of the things that are said, it has a huge impact.

25:20 The Darkness I would not feel qualified to talk to any of these people. All right. I appreciate their problems and I have problems, but this is not, you know, the time and the place. I'm not qualified to talk to you people. I'm really sorry. Fair enough.

25:34 Adam I will still play a darkness song when we come back. But I guess.

25:39 Drew No, we'd like to. I've been through it before. I'd like to do it anyway.

25:42 Adam All right. We'll say bye to the band. God bless you guys. You come back anytime. And we'll be back after this.

25:51 Hello. This is your radio radio, Loveline will be right back.

26:15 Adam Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. That's Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Well, the darkness has left the studio, and we're fine with that. I think, well, it was a twofold thing. One, I don't think they were prepared for the subject matter, and two, I think they thought the questions were gonna be directed toward them and about them. Sometimes people are surprised, and it happens with bands from England, oftentimes. It's maybe not in their culture to sit around and talk about exploding hymens and finger blasting for two hours, and they may have a point there. But they got off, they did leno, they had a couple of boozes, they wound up, and then went to sit here for two hours and listen to us talk about people getting raped at campsites. All right, now here's the thing, as I've said many times. I never care if you don't wanna be here. And I think Drew feels the same way. We're not being smug, like, hey, fine, if you don't wanna be here, then we don't want you.

27:18 Drew No, no, no.

27:19 Adam That's not that way. It's like, if this isn't your cup of tea, quite literally now, because for me, they say, if this isn't your cup of tea, oh, fine, we respect that. And they actually, I thought they acquitted themselves nicely, they said, you know, respectfully, this isn't our kind of thing, and now we'll be moving on.

27:38 Drew That's fine.

27:39 Adam Got a question for the band.

27:41 Drew We won't be taking that question.

27:44 Adam Let's let the party begin. Katie?

27:46 Caller Yes.

27:47 Adam You're 19?

27:48 Caller Yes.

27:49 Adam What's up?

27:51 I'm no longer sexually, I don't want sex anymore. I've been with my girlfriend for a year and a half, and I'm like, sex doesn't turn me on with anybody anymore, and I don't understand why.

28:02 Drew Well, there's an interesting thing, Katie, that happens that is not discussed, and I've actually heard this from many, many, many lesbian couples, that after about six months, sex just sort of stops. In lesbian couples, for whatever, whenever there's no penis, no testosterone involved, it just becomes a close, intimate relationship, but very often and routinely without sex.

28:27 Adam You got two boxcars and no engine. See, Drew, a man of exquisite passion.

28:33 Drew Two engines.

28:34 Adam You got a diesel-fired electric locomotive, you know, pullin, pullin that boxcar. And it's a constant. It cannot stop chuggin. It is the big engine that could. Whereas with lesbians, you got a couple of boxcars sittin there eventually.

28:53 Drew Yeah, there's a coastal home.

28:54 Adam Yeah, and also, and some problem. Usually something got them there in the first place that resurfaces at some point. Katie?

29:03 Yes.

29:04 Adam Any sexual abuse in the past?

29:08 I don't know, but I figure there's something in my past because I've never been able to hold an infamous relationship until this one. I dated like 60 guys before that.

29:19 Drew 60.

29:21 It might be even 75. I have a list at home.

29:25 Drew A list.

29:26 Adam Great. Or how's it gonna find that one day? It should be like a scroll, here he, I'm gonna open it up, just rolling down the stairs. Yes.

29:35 Drew All right.

29:36 Adam So like, Katie, you sure you're a lesbian?

29:39 Yes. All right.

29:41 Drew Wait, wait, is it that you're a lesbian or that you've just found an intimate relationship with somebody who happens to be a woman?

29:47 I just found an intimate relationship with a happens to be a woman.

29:50 Drew See, that's what Adam was talking about.

29:53 I never thought I would be a lesbian, but this is the one person I fall in love with. So, I'm okay with staying here.

30:00 Adam And does she not want sex or do both of you not want sex?

30:05 I don't want sex.

30:06 Drew Now, you want any medication?

30:09 No. It's been like eight.

30:12 Adam She's not lesbian, as we discussed. And she's found someone she feels safe with, but of course the physical part isn't there. I mean, look.

30:21 Drew Well, and what happens, I'll tell you what happens when somebody has been sexually abused, when they start to get actually emotionally involved with somebody, they, it's hard for them.

30:29 Adam They confuse it.

30:29 Drew Yeah, the sex part becomes sort of the bad part of themselves, and the good part of themselves is the part that can be intimate, and they can't integrate the two in the same relationship. So they can have sex with somebody that's sort of abusive to them and sociopathic and a bad guy or a bad girl, but when they're with somebody they really like, they can't bring that piece in. So there may be something along those lines.

30:49 Adam Oh look, I understand the part about hanging with your own sex. It's a better time. I mean, you're just talking about doing stuff. It's better to do it with guys. It's just, you're not physically interested in it, but just going out on the road and stuff, going to a ball game, going to a movie, everything's better with a guy.

31:09 Drew Well, I'm going to play paintball with my sons on Sunday.

31:11 Adam Oh really?

31:12 Drew Oh yeah. You wanna go?

31:14 Adam Where are you going?

31:14 Drew I don't know, it's a friend's party.

31:16 Adam Oh, it's a party? Paintball party. Oh, someone's going to get hurt, Drew. Someone's going to get, there's going to be a trail of tears leading back to the SUV.

31:25 Drew Fantastic.

31:26 Adam Yeah, here's the thing about paintball. I think I've done it a couple of times. The thing about paintball is, first off, they hurt. They don't tell you that part.

31:35 Drew I think it's announced they're going to wear five pairs of pants and eight shirts and all this stuff.

31:39 Adam Oh yeah. Well, here's the thing about paintball. Paintball, it's like getting in an accident on a moped. It's like, look, if you're just wearing dolphin shorts and flip-flops, you're in for a world of hurt. If you're wearing full blown leathers, you'll be, you still might feel the ground, but you'll be in much better shape. The problem is, is half the stuff goes on up in the foothills in July. And so you're wearing the sweatpants underneath the Levi's and running around like a commando can be a little difficult. So what you want to do is you want to get in a colder weather climate, then pad up. You get shot in the back. You get shot in the arms. You know, if you get shot in the neck.

32:23 Drew Do they wear helmets and stuff?

32:24 Adam Yeah, you know, things have evolved since I used to play. Glasses. What do you do with your glasses? You probably put your goggles over your glasses. It's good times. And it teaches the kids an important message about-

32:37 Drew Killing each other?

32:37 Adam Well, taking out your enemy. I mean, hey, I'll tell you, the adrenaline is pumping now. I mean, you start thinking, and I'm starting to wonder, like I'm starting to wonder if there is a difference between, you know, wartime and this, if there's a difference between, like, I don't know what it's like to be out on the field for a world series, but, you know, last year I played in that All-Star Softball game. There's 40,000 people, and I robbed a home run of a guy. I don't think I could have felt any different from the World Series, you know? And same with these kinds of events. When the guy blows the whistle, and you're on the run, and people are shooting at you, I just think there's a certain amount of adrenaline you have, whether it's the Viet Cong shooting AK-47 rounds over your head, or it's your buddy, your son's goofy friend, Justin, who's shooting you in the ass with a paintball.

33:35 Drew In fact, in the professional situation-

33:38 Adam Does he have any friends named Justin?

33:39 Drew No, strangely enough. That's probably the only name they don't have a friend named.

33:42 Adam Why, that's just, really think. You think maybe one? Nothing?

33:46 Drew But I know what you mean. The deal, though, is that in the professional situation, with the professional sports, the professional soldier, I bet you there's even less because they're so trained to conduct themselves in a certain way. It's probably a little less than it would be.

33:58 Adam They're battle-hardened.

33:59 Drew Yeah.

34:00 Adam But, yes, your heart will be beating like a gopher. And the thing is, you will be running and cartwheeling into bushes and stuff when people are shooting at you. You'll just be diving, crawling around on your belly. You'll be doing anything not to get shot. And that's when you feel it when you get home. It's sort of like, you know, we always say, like, you could take your skin off your kneecap down to the actual cap if you were screwing good enough. You know what I'm saying? You don't feel it. You're in the moment.

34:30 Drew It's like playing a football game or something.

34:32 Adam Yeah, but it's like playing a football game except for you don't get to sort of limp back to the huddle. It's sort of just, it's just on. And so you'll be crawling around on your belly, trying not to get shot, and you'll just be going over rocks and stuff and you won't even be thinking about it. And you get home, you get all black and blue. It's a good time.

34:50 Drew Yeah, a good time.

34:51 Adam Let's talk to Andy, who's 15. Andy? What's up?

34:57 Caller I was wondering if you smoke marijuana and you can like stop and get like a rectile function to get an erection.

35:06 Drew What was that again?

35:07 Adam Andy, I'm guessing you smoke a fair amount of marijuana.

35:10 Caller I've done it once.

35:12 Drew No. One exposure to marijuana is not likely to affect your erectile function. No.

35:15 Caller Yeah. But if you do it over an amount of time.

35:18 Drew Oh, yes. Oh, yes.

35:20 Adam Yeah.

35:21 Drew Most definitely.

35:22 Adam I know it's funny. The last, I think, last time I played paintball was around.

35:28 Drew Lacrosse Center.

35:30 Adam Actually, that's where Andy's calling from. Lacrosse Center.

35:32 Drew You know, the thing about these 15-year-olds, the 18-year-olds calling with the questions about pod is, so they're going to go from having an erection every eight minutes to an erection every 18 minutes.

35:42 Adam Yeah.

35:43 Drew You know what I mean? Exactly.

35:46 Adam Right. All right, Andy. Great. Where do you live over there in La Crescenta?

35:54 Caller Like where?

35:56 Drew Do you near La Canyada or near Sunland?

35:59 Adam What's the tough question?

36:00 Caller Well, I'm closer to Sunland than La Canyada.

36:03 Adam Lake Street exit off the freeway?

36:05 Caller Yeah, like right near it. Pennsylvania.

36:08 Adam Yeah.

36:08 Drew That's where I used to live.

36:10 Caller If you like smoke red or white, you can...

36:14 Adam Idiots. You see why I had to move? This is my paperboy.

36:19 Drew Oh, my.

36:20 Adam And believe me, the closer you get to Sunland, the stupider you get. And by the way, anyone thinking of moving out to Southern California or stay away from anything with a sun in it? Sun Valley, Sunland, all trouble.

36:33 Drew Or Santa.

36:34 Adam Santa and sun.

36:36 Drew Santa Ana, Santa Monica.

36:38 Adam Sunland was just bikers, just white trash meth head bikers. All right, Drew, we got to take a break because I really got to talk to you about what that's what I got to talk to you about. There was a lot locking you out in Sunland. It was crazy.

36:54 Drew World's a difference. By the way, let's never have guests on the show again. I feel so relieved just to be nice.

36:59 Adam I'm always glad. I'm always glad when the guest list. All right.

37:02 Drew Well, do this in favor. I love these guys.

37:04 Adam No, no, no. Hold on a second. Now, who did we have last night who I liked?

37:07 Drew Oh, that was Tina Fey and Tometo.

37:09 Adam Tina Fey and Tometo.

37:10 Drew Yeah, they were great.

37:12 Adam And then Colby is going to be on here from Survivor, the Pennywise guys, minus Fletcher. Thank holy Christ.

37:19 Drew Oh, yes.

37:20 Adam Tomorrow night. They're good guys. James Marster is from, well, he's from Angel, he's on Angel now. He's from, he used to be from Buffy. Yeah, he's a good guy. So we got some good people coming up. We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back.

37:36 Drew Yeah.

37:37 Adam What are women most attracted to?

37:39 Drew Confident guys.

37:40 Adam That's right. You can't buy that confidence. At least you couldn't until now.

37:44 Drew What do we got?

37:44 Adam You got Axe Deodorant Body Spray.

37:46 Drew Oh my God.

37:47 Adam Spray that on. It's like slathering on the confidence.

37:53 Caller Loveline, will be right back.

37:54 Adam Rich Banks.

38:15 Welcome to the show.

38:16 Adam Welcome to the show.

38:22 Cll number 1-800-EVILS-BD-911-5227.

38:26 Adam Now, let me tell you something, I'm just coming in and I'm saying, the darkness coming in all the way over the pond. Now, thinking about the darkness coming in, it was like, hey boys, what you guys doing?

38:36 Caller I'm just having a, hey, hey, I got raped in a campground. Ha, it turned a little zony. 72424, I'm just having, so I'm just having, I'm just having a, I'm just having a, but I'm sitting there and I'm looking at Drew, and Drew's looking at me. And I'm saying, what is it with Drew? With Drew's, Drew's saying, hey, how about a, but what Drew's thinking is, and I see him, cause I see, a little, I see him, 72727, I see Drew and I see his mouth, out of his mouth is coming, 72727, hey, 727, but I, but I, but I, Well, there's a lot, there's a lot. Hello, there. Welcome to the show. Welcome to the show. Welcome to the show. Welcome to the show. Fresh off of Leto. Fresh off of Leto. Fresh off of Leto.

41:49 Adam Yeah, I thought you should know that about me.

41:51 Caller Yeah.

41:53 How's it going, Adam? You're hilarious, man.

41:55 Adam And what's gone last week during the gibberish week.

41:57 Drew Yeah, the way the gibberish week.

41:59 Adam We did an entire week of gibberish.

42:00 Drew Yeah, just the whole show.

42:02 Adam Didn't form a question.

42:04 Drew Well, we got a couple.

42:05 Adam No, it's all gibberish.

42:06 Drew Yeah, pretty much.

42:07 Adam Go ahead, Billy.

42:08 Yeah, my question is for Dr. Drew. Yeah, my question is for Dr. Drew. I'm also a man of extreme passion and I wound up making love to a friend of mine. She has herpes, but we used a condom. I was wondering what the chances are of me contracting it from her.

42:27 Drew Well, what do you think?

42:29 Caller I think I would-

42:31 Drew No, I'm just wondering what he thinks.

42:32 Adam I don't mean sarcastic.

42:33 Drew No, because, listen, you took precautions. You protected yourself as best you could. She didn't have an outbreak, right?

42:39 No, no.

42:40 Drew Well, there you go. Now we'll see.

42:43 There's no way to put a number on that.

42:44 Adam Drew, what kind of doctoring is that?

42:45 Drew There's no way to put a number on that. There's no way.

42:48 Adam No, I know.

42:49 Drew I don't know. I mean, there's no way.

42:55 Adam You wore a condom. She didn't have a breakout.

42:57 Drew You're pretty good. She should be in good shape.

42:59 Adam You're in good shape. All right. See you, buddy. Guys in a hurry. I like this. Probably wants to nail her again. He's a man of exquisite passion, as you are, Drew. Yeah.

43:15 Drew Sort of offended, they put man of exquisite passion with, juxtaposed with, I made love to this.

43:21 Adam Yeah.

43:22 Drew It's like, what? Not your girlfriend.

43:24 Adam Let me tell you something about the passionate men. Passionate men will take their chances on some herpes. Passionate men will pull the cork on, you know, that time of the month. Passionate man will need to be with a woman.

43:39 Drew Pull the cork?

43:40 Adam Yeah. He will need to be with a woman even if he's not particularly attracted to her, just sort of to get it on. Now that's not true. No, no, listen, a passionate man does not want to eat a bad meal, but he needs sustenance. Whereas the man whose metronome does not pick is fast. The lower metabolism man, like myself, can go a night with it, skip a night, not eat. I'm taking a look at the warmed-over Hungry Man Salisbury Steak and I'm just thinking, nah, a glass of water and go to bed.

44:18 Drew And yet you have yourself to the box of hamburger helper.

44:21 Adam I beat off to the hamburger helper, yeah, because I'd rather see the beautiful picture of what's on the cover than actually taste the rancid meat and soil yourself with reality, yeah, essentially. Yeah. Whereas Drew, exquisite passion. No, let's try to define the passionate man. And forget we're talking about you for a second, but we're talking about, and then this isn't you, but we're talking about guys who are, guys who will be with a prostitute. Like, okay, here's what a passionate man will do. No, no, quiet. Here's what a passionate man will do. And you've said this yourself. Passionate man, candidly, very candidly, and then beg me not to talk about it on air. Candid man, a passionate man cannot sit in a strip club for three hours and then just go home. He will, he will find the skankiest chick in there. He'll pay her 30 bucks and get a hand job in the alley or something. I mean, it becomes like the guy needs a fix. You know what I mean?

45:17 Drew I know that the passionate guy will go to that length, but it's like a guy needs a fix. Yes.

45:21 Adam Yeah. And it is sort of a form of torture. I mean, I have been with passionate friends in Tijuana and seen them take guys who look like chicks that look like guys upstairs. You know what I mean? It's like, hey, I don't at a certain point, it just becomes they become like they're in a dog fight. They'll bite their master. They don't care. It doesn't matter what. Oh, am I attracted? Is she beautiful? Is she seductive? No, it's just it's game on. The switch has been flipped. There's guys who fight that way. You know what I mean? It's like they're mashing a guy's head against the curb. They don't even know it. He's passed out. You know, it's like it's a it's a it's a switch that gets flipped. Yeah. Drew has that switch. It's right between his balls and his honker. Just gets flipped. It's a toggle. There's a toggle right there.

46:10 Drew I've been looking for that switch for a long time and switched it off.

46:12 Adam Let me say something ironic. I don't know why they just thought about this and never really thought about it. Cars are getting nicer now, but the nicest switch on a car by far is always the hazard switch on every car. It's usually the only one that lights up. It's like a big red triangle. It's sitting right in the middle of the dash. American cars is kind of crappy. It's on the column, but Japanese or European cars, even like my dad's old piece of ass Volkswagen Rabbit from like 1978, had a bunch of broken, crappy plastic knobs. But the hazard lights thing, always the nicest one, is the one you never get to touch. You touch it twice every six years.

46:54 Drew Damn it.

46:54 Adam The nicest button on the dash is the one you don't flip. Think about it. Don't answer. Just think about it.

47:01 Drew That's that, right?

47:01 Adam Just think about it. We'll be back.

47:04 Here it is.

47:05 Bottom line, it sucks being single today. Tons of lame people and no decent prospects.

47:10 Caller Call the Dateline.

47:48 Adam Hey everybody, it's the Loveline, I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. All right, well, if you missed the beginning of the show, The Darkness, the rock band from the UK, who evidently is doing very nicely, selling a lot of records, is here. Stayed for the first break. Show wasn't their cup of tea. Although, as Drew and I broke it down, we're thinking about, well, maybe the content was a little rough for them, but they sort of needed to leave long before the show went south with the rape calls, and as a matter of fact, they were here for a Germany or Florida, and then they were here for some other call about some 18-year-old virgin who didn't really amount to much.

48:33 Drew And they were already.

48:35 Adam Would have been a G or PG rated call by Loveline Standards. They were ready to get out of here, because I think they thought the calls were gonna be geared toward them, The Darkness, which is fine, sort of. But I was just reading their bio sheet here, and it starts off, in a musical era dominated by self-important artists.

48:58 Drew Uh-oh.

49:06 Adam Yes, and Terry Hart on their sleeves, Troubadours, The Darkness has grabbed rock and roll by its shoulders and give it a swift snakeskin booted kick right where it counts. All right. So when they say dominated by self-important artists, they're talking about somebody else, right?

49:26 Drew They must be talking about the kinds of guys that come on here and humbly help out the community of young people like System of a Down, and Motley Crue, and people that, you know. All the other bands.

49:37 Adam Yeah, all the other bands. Oh, those are the self-important ones.

49:41 Drew Those are the self-important ones, yeah.

49:42 Adam I see. Hmm, well maybe that's something to strive for then. Maybe we should all be heading that direction.

49:50 Drew And by the way, we're not poking fun at the darkness here so much as their representation.

49:55 Adam Yeah. Yeah, there was, whenever you read these bios, you just want to shove a ballpoint pen down your throat until you vomit. By the way, here's one that's getting overused just a little bit too much. The, let's see, offers something truly, oh, by the way, the London-based quartet's acclaimed Atlantic record debut offers something truly magnificent. And irresistible and unapologetic. And by the way, I don't know, someone picked up this unapologetic look at or unapologetic rock and roll vision or something. Somebody picked up this unapologetic thing about three years ago and just hasn't put it down. Now it's in everyone's bow. Everybody, every book is a brash unapologetic look at the political system, everything. When does this unapologetic thing come up? And let's drop it.

50:54 Drew Yeah, officially dropped.

50:57 Adam All right. All right, but not as self-important then.

51:00 Drew Yeah, Coldplay, those guys are so important. They come on here and they completely help out.

51:06 Adam They're very self-important, these bands.

51:07 Drew Basically, all the bands that have been, I guess they've not been very successful in the United States than these other bands that have come on this show. Oh no, wait a minute, they've been very successful, but they're not self-important. Or they are self-important. They're all self-important.

51:19 Adam I can't figure it out. You're 21?

51:24 Caller Yep.

51:25 Adam What's happening?

51:26 Caller Not much. Well, just to start off, I've been out of the country for a couple of years, so I've missed out on quite a bit, it sounds like. What happened to The Man Show?

51:38 Adam Man Show, we quit, and they got two other guys to do it instead of us.

51:45 Caller No, who'd they get? They got the guy off the news radio and off of Fear Factor.

51:50 Adam Right. That's Joe Rogan, and then they got another guy named Doug.

51:54 Drew And obviously, you're wanting us to ask, where did you come? Where were you?

51:59 Caller Oh, I was in Mexico.

52:01 Adam Yeah.

52:01 Drew Doing what?

52:02 Caller I was on a mission for the LDS Church. I'm a Mormon.

52:06 Adam That's nice.

52:07 Caller Yeah.

52:08 Drew Where's the answer? We need him.

52:09 Adam Let me just say something very quickly. If you read the Entertainment Weekly, though, you would have heard that Comedy Central performed a Corollaectomy to get him off of the show he created, and they begged him to stay on. I should say co-created. Yes. Yeah, it's good times. Oh, God, don't get me going on them, Drew.

52:29 Drew I know. Let's keep going. What's up, Brian?

52:31 Adam I went to Mexico. What part of Mexico did you go to? And what were you doing over there? Spreading the good news?

52:38 Caller That's exactly what I was doing.

52:40 Adam Riding a bike through Mexico?

52:42 Caller Wearing a short-sleeve shirt in Italian?

52:44 Caller I wasn't even riding a bike. I was walking the whole time.

52:46 Drew Do you actually get people to convert?

52:48 Caller Oh, a lot. Actually, in Mexico, we did quite a bit.

52:51 Adam Yeah.

52:52 Drew But, I mean, what happened?

52:52 Adam Well, they got the loos over there.

52:54 Drew But how do you know? Do they start showing up at church? Or how do you know that you've done your job?

52:57 Caller Well, what it is, is we go to their houses and we just start talking to them. And if they're interested, they come to church with us. And, I mean, it just it all depends on the people.

53:04 Adam Do you speak Spanish? I do. All right. And I'm picturing in Mexico, you're going on there knocking on the door and the whole door falling off and then a goat running out and a guy chasing him with his pants around his ankles.

53:16 Drew It's more like Gilligan's Island. You knock on the straw. Bamboo.

53:20 Adam I just say the whole door just falls in. And then here's what I say. Here's what I picture. I picture you going around on your bike about about noonish on a weekday. Tap, tap, tap on the door. Door falls over. Big cloud of smoke. The smoke clears. A goat goes running through your legs and out into the street. Guy pants around his ankles, chasing it with just his underpants on and swinging a bottle tequila over his head. You're like, hey, huh?

53:47 Drew That's it. Is that that was his life.

53:49 Adam That would be I would say a pretty, pretty fair depiction. Yeah. So and what what part of Mexico was this town in?

53:57 Caller It's on the East Coast, about six hours south of Texas.

54:02 Adam And poor people.

54:04 Caller Very, very much. So I mean, I don't think I ever really knocked on the door. Most of the time was a piece of sheet metal or cardboard even.

54:10 Adam So a piece of corrugated tin, huh?

54:12 Drew Where did you stay?

54:13 Caller Sorry, what was that?

54:14 Drew Where did you stay?

54:16 Caller I'm basically in the same house as they did. We always we never were given anything. We always rented a place.

54:22 Drew Did you have any medical problems while you were there?

54:24 Caller That's kind of where all my things started. I don't know if you read my question. When I was down, I started getting anxiety really bad. And since I've been home from Mexico, I've been home for, I don't know, going on, I've been home for quite a while, but I've been on almost any kind of antipsychotic, antidepressant, anti-anxiety that you could possibly imagine. I mean, they've put me on them. And I mean, right now I'm certainly taking Paxil. And the thing is-

54:46 Drew Hang on a second. Have you been evaluated medically to make sure these symptoms aren't somehow brought on by God knows what kind of infectious disease you might have contracted?

54:54 Adam What are you saying? You go to Mexico without getting a disease?

54:57 Drew Yes, you can. But if you start having symptoms, you'd certainly want to look around to make sure that's not what's causing it.

55:02 Adam Really?

55:02 Caller Yeah, I've actually seen about 10 different doctors in four different states. So, I mean, I've seen quite a few doctors in. And what it is, I mean, I have a background of them. My dad is bipolar and my mom has anxiety. And so I've kind of inherited both of their traits. I've got the anxiety and the depression.

55:21 Adam God, you ride a bike to Mexico to spread the good news. This seems like the worst thing you could do for a guy with your condition.

55:28 Caller Well, it was a little lot of fun. I mean, I learned a lot, but that's, I'm pretty sure that kind of brought on the anxiety, which is so much.

55:34 Drew Like Adam was saying, not a good thing for you with your body.

55:37 Adam Well, now you're back. Yeah.

55:40 Drew And the question is.

55:41 Caller I'm getting married July 30th. And my problem is just since I've been, I've been on the Paxil, I take like 60 milligrams right now. Not even extended really.

55:50 Adam That's a lot.

55:51 Drew That's a lot.

55:52 Caller Yeah, that's quite a bit. And I mean, they don't even make tablets that big Adam. I have to cut one in half and take one and a half. But I mean, it's just, it seems like, like with my girlfriend, I just, my fiance, it's just kind of like the sex.

56:06 Adam I just don't. The sex is.

56:09 Drew No sex.

56:10 Adam Yeah.

56:10 Drew Yeah, there's nothing you can do except Paxil's gonna screw that up. Paxil's gonna knock it down. The only ones that will not do that are Serizone, Welbutrin, or Remeron. And, you know, of the antidepressants anyway. So talk to them about that.

56:25 Adam Yeah, I was thinking about Mexico. You know, corrugated tin, huge in third world. I mean, that doors, roofs, siding, and it's actually, it's decent stuff. Doesn't sound great when it rains, you know?

56:39 Drew Well, that makes a little racket, huh?

56:40 Adam Makes a little racket, but solid stuff.

56:43 Drew Here's the deal, Ryan, you may need a mood stabilizer rather than antidepressant. The mood stabilizers like Depakote, these sorts of medicines aren't as likely to cause the sexual side effects.

56:53 Adam Mm-hmm. All right, you want to speak to Martin?

56:55 Drew Sure.

56:56 Adam Got Prince Albert piercing.

56:57 Drew You want to do that?

57:00 Adam 16, you got a Prince Albert? Yeah, don't want to talk to that guy. Never made out with that guy. All right, let's talk to Kyle, but I'm bracing myself for the worst. Kyle?

57:11 Yeah?

57:11 Adam You're 16?

57:13 Caller Yes.

57:13 Adam You got a Prince Albert?

57:15 Caller Yes.

57:16 Adam Who gave it to you?

57:17 Caller A guy named George.

57:20 Drew Oh, George, by the way. Now that's George. That flushes out the story very vividly.

57:24 Adam You're out in Antioch? Yeah.

57:27 Drew George and Antioch.

57:28 Adam I know one out there. He's a good guy, does good work. Great penis work. He's, you know, there's good second story men, and then there's good crank men. He's George, one of the best crank guys around.

57:40 Drew What do you call the hood, the hood guys?

57:42 Adam You guys work on a hood? Jorge.

57:44 Drew Jorge the hood guy?

57:45 Adam Yeah, that's the Mexican version of George.

57:47 Drew Jorge the hood man.

57:49 Adam Chris, shut your own mic. Yes. Yeah, Jorge is the Mexican.

57:56 Drew Careful Chris, Adam just picks up whatever the environment comes right out of his mouth. So if you say something, it's coming out of his mouth.

58:02 Adam Kyle, I'm hip. You know, we're on Mexico. We're talking about Jorge. All right, so Kyle, so you got a Prince Albert, and now what?

58:10 Caller Well, ever since I got it, I have been having rectal dysfunction. I've tried taking Viagra, and it's not doing anything for me.

58:19 Drew No, no, it's possible, but that can happen.

58:22 Adam I'm going by us.

58:22 Drew How did you get a 16 year old, how did you get somebody to put a Pierce on a 16 year old?

58:27 Caller I got a friend's mom to take me up there.

58:30 Drew Nope, that's not, now we know it's bogus.

58:32 Adam Friend's mom, Trovia. Hi, I want to introduce you to Ms. Silvary. Hi, yeah, do you know Kyle? Yes, I drove him up and I have a 77 Valiant station wagon with the fake siding. Okay, all right, well I'll be sitting here reading oversized magazine while you put a spear through this guy's joint. Okay then, oh, we got a friend, mom, Trovia.

59:00 Drew Oh, that makes all the sense in the world now.

59:03 Caller Yeah, we don't believe you.

59:05 Adam I didn't actually believe you at the beginning.

59:09 Caller They're very open-minded.

59:11 Drew They like to break the law?

59:14 Caller They're willing to bend it a little.

59:16 Drew Why did you need to go with an adult at all then?

59:19 Caller Well, because I couldn't get anybody to give me a fake ID, so I didn't want to ask my parents because that's kind of embarrassing.

59:26 Drew I thought they were open-minded, they don't mind doing minors.

59:28 Adam How, I don't understand, how do they provide a fake ID?

59:31 Drew And what does somebody's mom's-

59:32 Adam How does your mom's, friend's mom give you a fake ID?

59:35 Caller I got them to pose as my mom and say that it's all right to do it. Like, cause they said their ID didn't need parental permission or the 18-word to have it, so I asked my friend's mom to pose as my mom and say it was okay.

59:50 Drew What's she like?

59:53 Caller Um, very nice.

59:58 Drew Again, I'm, it's all fleshed out for me now.

1:00:01 Adam She's nice.

1:00:02 Drew Yeah, she's very, very nice.

1:00:03 Adam She has to be a horribly disturbed mom. Person.

1:00:09 Drew Mom person.

1:00:11 Adam I just couldn't imagine taking someone else's six-year-old kid to get a shake.

1:00:16 Drew Posing as his parent.

1:00:18 Adam See.

1:00:18 Drew To do something illegal to put a spirit through his esphonses.

1:00:24 Adam And by the way, it's not like seeing a, you know, R-17 movie. I mean, you know, it's not like, oh, well, you want a pack of butts and a fifth of scotch? Yeah. Oh no, my dad will buy it. Here you go, son. No, this is my dad. No, you gotta be 21 or you gotta be 18 to buy a pack of smokes, right?

1:00:47 Drew Well, there are parents that do that weird stuff. They go, well, as long as you do it in our house.

1:00:51 Adam No, no, I understand. But I mean, as far as the guy who's doing the piercing, like, look, either you gotta be 18 or your mom's gotta come in.

1:00:59 Caller Right.

1:01:00 Adam Oh yeah. So what if the mom brought in her nine-year-old?

1:01:03 Drew Right.

1:01:03 Adam You know what I'm saying? It seems like there would be some liability there.

1:01:06 Drew Well, they do allow parental consent. There is such a thing. They'll take that, some of them.

1:01:12 Adam I know, but for like an aggressive genital piercing?

1:01:15 Caller I know, you wouldn't think so, right?

1:01:17 Drew All right, anyway, so yeah, so is it surprising? Let's say you put a barbell through your finger. Would it be surprising if they got some numbness at the tip of the finger?

1:01:24 Adam Right.

1:01:24 Drew Or you have stiffness in the joints? You put, you violate a body space and things don't work normally.

1:01:31 Adam You're telling me. I can barely sit. Martin?

1:01:36 Drew Yeah.

1:01:37 Adam Barely. You're 24?

1:01:39 Drew That's from Carbuncle?

1:01:41 Adam That's just from the violation I had. That's enough.

1:01:44 Drew That's enough.

1:01:44 Adam That's enough. Martin?

1:01:46 Yeah.

1:01:47 Adam 24, you only had one sex partner?

1:01:49 Yes.

1:01:50 Adam Do you think you got STD from only having one partner in your entire life?

1:01:54 I'm suspicious of it.

1:01:56 Drew What's the STD?

1:01:58 Well, that's the thing. I mean, is I don't know yet. It's just, I went into urgent care actually tonight and the doctor seems to think it's either, hey, let's stop a few things like the clap or I don't know, a couple other things. And I just don't know.

1:02:13 Drew Wait, wait, wait, the doctor used the term the clap?

1:02:16 No, he didn't.

1:02:17 Drew Okay, what did he say?

1:02:19 He didn't say that.

1:02:19 Drew What did he say?

1:02:22 What's the real word for I'd recognize if I heard it?

1:02:24 Drew Gonorrhea.

1:02:25 Gonorrhea.

1:02:27 Drew Chlamydia.

1:02:28 Chlamydia. And I think he actually mentioned E coli in there somewhere.

1:02:32 Drew Well, E coli is just a urine infection.

1:02:34 Adam Wait a minute, the clap is either chlamydia or gonorrhea, right?

1:02:37 Drew Historically, it's gonorrhea.

1:02:39 Adam Historically, it's gonorrhea. It's gonorrhea, like when your father's father got the clap.

1:02:44 Drew I can't believe that a 24-year-old would even know to use that term.

1:02:48 Adam The clap?

1:02:48 Drew Yeah.

1:02:49 Adam It's too, seems too young.

1:02:51 Drew Too ancient, yeah, it's too.

1:02:52 Adam It's gone the way of the dodo?

1:02:53 Drew The dodo. Who?

1:02:55 Adam Who's gone the way of the dodo?

1:02:56 Drew Exactly.

1:02:57 Adam Martin?

1:02:57 Yeah.

1:02:58 Adam You've only been with one girl in 24 years on this part.

1:03:01 Yeah, I knew you were gonna ask me that too.

1:03:03 Adam Well, I am.

1:03:05 Drew How long ago did that happen, that you were with her?

1:03:07 When was the last time or when did we start?

1:03:10 Drew Both. Both.

1:03:12 About a month and a half ago and the last time was a couple days ago.

1:03:16 Adam Oh, man. You must've been the white tornado.

1:03:19 Right.

1:03:20 Adam I mean, you had a lot of love built up over the years. Yes? Oh, yes. Oh, yes.

1:03:24 Before Martin.

1:03:25 Adam Yes, I mean, she just unleashed. I mean, like, I would imagine it'd be like starting a weed whacker in your bedroom, you know what I mean? Just all of a sudden papers flying everywhere, stuff getting caught up in the drapes, bookshelves being knocked over, you know? Neighbors like looking through the windows. What's going on in there? Stuff flying around. You know what I'm saying?

1:03:46 Drew Yeah.

1:03:47 Adam Man of passion. Drew, could you imagine if you'd dammed up your passion for, you know, maybe eight or nine years before, you know, when it was ready to go? You know what I'm saying?

1:03:58 Drew It's hard to.

1:03:59 Adam Hard to imagine that kind of rush of passion. Marty? Yeah.

1:04:03 Drew Yeah.

1:04:04 Adam Okay, so?

1:04:04 So what I need to know is, I mean, I can describe the symptoms to Dr. Drew. Yes, please. Basically, Friday, it started burning.

1:04:14 Drew Hurts when you pee.

1:04:15 What's that?

1:04:16 Drew Hurts when you pee.

1:04:17 Hurts when I pee. And then Saturday, it started getting better. And I was like, hey, it's gone, cool. I didn't know what it was. And then Sunday, I felt fine. Today, it started getting really bad. And then tonight, it's a little bit of blood in the pee and it started really hurting. So I went to, I went to urgent care.

1:04:33 Drew Did you put on some antibiotics?

1:04:34 What's that? Yeah, they gave me a shot and they put me on antibiotics.

1:04:38 Drew Levoquin?

1:04:39 I don't know, I've got the bottle right here. Docs, Docsillin?

1:04:46 Drew Docsacycline?

1:04:47 Docsacycline, yeah.

1:04:49 Drew Well, here's the deal. This may just be a plain old urinary tract infection. This may not actually be an STD. It may be an STD. It may be something that's finally sort of surfaced that maybe she's had for a while that you're finally contracting. There's also something called non-gonococcal urethritis, which can come from sort of a non-classical STD. In other words, she may have something in her vagina you get exposed to and finally develops into an infection. It doesn't really amount to anything.

1:05:16 Adam Let's not worry about that. Let's talk about us for a second. I was looking at my downers today. The empty bottle of downers Drew prescribed me last. And I was looking, I was thinking, I think I can get some more of these drugs. I was thinking to myself, they go nice with the booze. And I looked at it and said, no refills. And I thought, that pussy, what's with the no refill? Why don't you just automatically give me a nice refill, buddy?

1:05:40 Drew Well, here's what's interesting. I did.

1:05:43 Adam No, you didn't.

1:05:44 Drew That means you're down to your last.

1:05:46 Adam How dare you?

1:05:47 Drew That means you have no more refills.

1:05:49 Adam How dare you, sir?

1:05:50 Drew Which frightens me enough from now on, you will get no refills.

1:05:53 Adam How dare you barge into my studio and step, plant your horny ass onto my bar stool.

1:06:01 Drew This kind of show is not my kind of thing. I gotta go.

1:06:03 Adam How dare you attack me, sir? I know. No, there was no, it was the same bottle from whenever I got the prescription from you, like four months ago or five, or whenever. Yeah, maybe it was three weeks. The point is, it said no refills on the goddamn thing. Slap in the face, Drew. There was no, there was no refill. It wasn't a refill, that was the original bottle.

1:06:25 Drew You're shocking.

1:06:26 Adam Just put it on, what do you, what do you gotta do to do a refill?

1:06:28 Drew I swear to God I did, that's why you're scaring me.

1:06:30 Adam Oh no, you didn't. No, no you did not.

1:06:33 Drew And we'll talk about that. Maybe your wife filled them and used them.

1:06:36 Adam Ooh, that's what brought us together. Yeah, I know that. Man, nothing better than a nice ambient and a bottle of red wine, just really, cares just melt away, melt away. All right, Drew, let's score. All right, we got Patrick over here. Patrick is gay, he's 19, he's on line three. Patrick? Patrick? Caller goes by the name of Patrick.

1:07:08 Drew Go to six.

1:07:12 Adam Rick? You're 21?

1:07:15 Caller Yeah.

1:07:16 Adam You have a dependency on booze and drugs?

1:07:19 Caller Well, the situation is, I've always kind of drank and did drugs, but my girlfriend and I broke up about a year ago, and ever since, I started smoking cigarettes, which I didn't do before, and I started doing more drugs than doing harder drugs. Started drinking a lot more often.

1:07:41 Drew I mean, this is how this happens, is again, it's-

1:07:43 Adam When did not shutting your car door start? When did that begin? What was that? Not closing your car door.

1:07:52 Caller What do you mean?

1:07:53 Adam Oh, it seems it's closed now, yes. Are you in your car?

1:07:57 Caller No, no, no.

1:08:00 Adam Where are you?

1:08:04 Drew One of those, some feedback from this extended phone.

1:08:07 Adam Wow, it's crazy.

1:08:08 Drew Yeah, it sounds like a door.

1:08:08 Adam It sounds like there's a chime going off in the background.

1:08:11 Drew Anyway, Rick, the only way this is how this happens is that there's stressors and needs to sort of regulate one's feelings. It escalates use. If you have the biological genetic history of addiction, then on it comes. I suggest you do look into this because it sounds like you're on your way. And certainly you're finding that the substances aren't gonna help with the feeling states. They work in the short term, but they end up becoming a separate problem when you can't stop using. And they certainly don't work any longer in terms of helping you regulate your feelings. Go to the AA meeting. See if you can find some support there. That's one thing you can do. If you really wanna do something, that's what you can do.

1:08:44 Adam Yeah. It's free. It's cheap. It's easy.

1:08:47 The Darkness Just go to AA meeting.

1:08:48 Drew Go there, get a sponsor, start talking about what you've been feeling about this breakup, about your use of substances, about undoubtedly having come from an alcoholic family system, I suspect, and see if you don't feel better.

1:08:58 Adam Alrighty then.

1:08:59 Drew Good times.

1:09:00 Adam Yeah, but it's good times. It's good times. It's good times. We got Nicole over here. She's never been able to stay faithful with boyfriends. Let's know why she cheats. I do kind of, it is something, there's something exciting about talking to her, and I know she's attractive, because attractive chicks can cheat. Nicole?

1:09:20 Yeah, I'm here.

1:09:21 Adam Are you good looking?

1:09:23 I've been told that, yes. Had some opportunities to do some commercials and whatnot, so I guess I have a look to myself.

1:09:36 Adam Yeah, I've done some commercials too. It doesn't mean I'm good looking.

1:09:39 Drew Because you're the jack-in-the-box son.

1:09:44 Adam Wait a minute, that was Burger King, how dare you? How dare you? That's right. All right, so is it hot in here, Drew, or is that just me? All right, so Nicole, you're a attractive girl, yes? You've had many lovers, yes?

1:10:08 Drew Give us a number.

1:10:12 Adam Oh, that's not, yeah, that's, I wouldn't even call it a handful.

1:10:16 Is that like borderline or something?

1:10:18 Drew No, that's a few.

1:10:19 Adam For 22, that's a pretty light load these days. And you've cheated, have you cheated on your past two or three boyfriends?

1:10:30 Yeah, it's kind of weird, like I've never really thought out a person, it seems like they always.

1:10:38 Adam Yeah, well, that's the thing about being hot and being 22, you'll be sought after. You have to say no.

1:10:45 It can be confusing, you know, I mean, it's not easy.

1:10:49 Drew Can be what, did she say?

1:10:50 Adam I don't know, she just wants to hear the sound of her own voice. Yeah, done a few, I can imagine.

1:10:55 Drew Well, she wants to know why she keeps cheating.

1:10:58 Adam Yeah, she's having intimacy problems.

1:10:59 Drew Maybe, or maybe the problem is in the first place, she's not going out after guys that she wants to be with, she's letting guys come to her and sort of settling for them.

1:11:08 Adam Do you sleep with these guys?

1:11:10 Yeah, but I, they're always relationships.

1:11:13 Caller Like, I've never been single.

1:11:14 Drew Yeah, but what I'm saying, maybe you're getting involved in these joined-at-the-hip relationships that you don't really want to be in. Maybe you need to really go out and evaluate people a little more carefully before you get sucked into relationships.

1:11:24 Adam What about the guys you cheat with? Do you sleep with them?

1:11:31 Drew She goes back.

1:11:32 Adam Oh, you go back.

1:11:33 Yeah, I go back. And I don't know if maybe like it's... I have a lot of like stored bad energy, I guess.

1:11:44 Adam Why don't you work on that with a therapist?

1:11:49 Drew Professional, yeah.

1:11:51 Well, I've tried that, you know. It's real curious to me because like things still tend to haunt me. Like how do you ever let something go?

1:12:02 Drew How many years did you go to therapy?

1:12:04 Um, a couple, like two or three.

1:12:07 Adam And this is when I was much younger.

1:12:10 Drew Maybe we're ready for that.

1:12:11 Adam What happened to you, by the way? What's haunting you?

1:12:16 I had some, you know, some issues, I guess, with drugs and whatnot. And there was a person in particular that basically just screwed me in the worst possible way.

1:12:31 Drew And you were using, you were both using drugs?

1:12:33 And this is actually a girl. This is a best friend of mine.

1:12:37 Adam Yeah. I don't know. No.

1:12:41 No, it's weird, though.

1:12:43 Adam All right. Well, we're going to take a break. Maybe we'll talk to Nicole when we come back.

1:12:48 Drew Yeah, I'm intrigued.

1:12:49 Adam She's a pain in the ass.

1:12:50 Drew I'm intrigued. Because the fact that you're starting to abuse her suggests to me that she's a victim.

1:12:56 Adam Oh, she's... We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back.

1:13:02 Caller Loveline with Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew.

1:13:07 We'll be right back.

1:13:17 Adam Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew. Cll number 1-800-L-V-E-1-9-1. Pennywise in here tomorrow night. And then we got Colby from Survivor. And what's up, Drew?

1:13:33 Drew Let's finish up with Nicole.

1:13:35 Adam Oh, yes, Nicole. Nicole's 22, never been able to stay faithful to a man. She's cute.

1:13:43 Drew Some weird thing with a girlfriend, which doesn't satisfy our needs for trauma.

1:13:48 Adam Nicole?

1:13:50 Yeah, I'm here.

1:13:51 Drew So what happened with this girlfriend?

1:13:54 It's probably a longer story than you guys want to hear, but-

1:13:57 Drew Okay, give us in one sentence what happened.

1:14:01 Basically, she stole my credit cards and-

1:14:07 Drew Okay, she stole stuff from you. And you were both doing drugs at the time?

1:14:12 Yeah, and it was a whole drawn-out thing where, I didn't know it was her and she was my best friend at the time.

1:14:18 Drew Nicole, Nicole, stop.

1:14:19 Adam That's not where your abuse-

1:14:20 Drew Right, and now are you doing drugs currently, anything? You're not taking prescription medication or anything like that? Nothing.

1:14:28 Adam I would be, but Drew won't give me a refill.

1:14:31 Drew I know.

1:14:32 Adam Breaks my heart. My own partner doesn't even trust me.

1:14:35 Drew And then what happened- What happened maybe growing up that makes it difficult for you to stay intimate with somebody? Your family kind of break up or move around a lot?

1:14:45 Adam All right. Well, nothing. So get over it. And straighten up and fly right. Listen everybody, if nothing ever happened to you, you know, it's like, this is what happens on this show. People call up, they're like, well, look, I- And I'm not being facetious. When I say that you call up and you go, look, I've cheated on my last four boyfriends. And we say, what happened? Well, I had a girlfriend screw me over a few years ago. No, that's not it. What about your family? Well, they were good. My parents were together and stuff. They took care of me. And no one abused me or raped me or anything. All right, well then stop. Because here's the thing. People that were brought up in indecent environments and even good environments are capable of sort of being weak and- A phase. Yeah, having a phase. And also, I think sometimes people just label themselves as, hey, this is the, I'm this kind of person. I cheat. I keep cheating on my boyfriends. What do you want me to do? So I've cheated on the last four and when the fifth one comes around, well guess what? Because that's who I am. Well, feel free to stop.

1:15:48 Drew To be a better person. Go ahead.

1:15:50 Adam Right. Now, if your parents, you know, ritualistically abused you in some sort of, you know, converted basement slash dungeon and you have the predisposition for the alcoholic gene and so on and so forth, we'll cut you a little slack. But if everything was kosher back in the day and you're doing something you don't like, then stop it.

1:16:12 Drew Still betting that Nicole grew up in an alcoholic family and she probably, many people that do aren't really aware that's what they're dealing with because they just, they don't notice the effects of it because it's just normal for their family.

1:16:21 Adam Patrick.

1:16:23 Caller Hey, what's going on?

1:16:24 Adam What's happening, Gay Patrick? You're 19.

1:16:27 Caller Hey, listen, long time listener, first time caller.

1:16:31 Adam Great. What's up?

1:16:33 Caller I got something else for you, Adam. Are you listening?

1:16:37 Adam Yeah, I'm always listening.

1:16:39 Caller Okay, when, with your whole Boobville thing, remember that?

1:16:43 Adam Yes, I do.

1:16:44 Drew Yeah, I was thinking of something the other day too that we left behind.

1:16:48 Adam Patrick, you're gay, aren't you?

1:16:50 Caller No, I'm not gay. I went to the screener.

1:16:53 Adam He doesn't sound gay, by the way.

1:16:55 Drew No, I was gonna say if he was gay, he would have been born gay.

1:16:57 Caller Born gay, life is to live gay, you know that, Sondra?

1:17:06 Drew I know you were sort of winding up to it as soon as you heard Patrick's voice.

1:17:09 Caller Born gay.

1:17:12 Adam I was not, it just struck me. I know this sounds, I don't know, I mean homophobic or something, but we just sit here and read people all night long and you start sounding like what you are.

1:17:25 Drew If you're racist, you sound racist. But there are gay guys that will call and you, huh? And that's just, that's born. That's born.

1:17:32 Adam I haven't had one in the nine years I've been here, but I'm sure they exist.

1:17:35 Drew We have, remember we've just gone, oh whoa, you're the real thing, remember? Us saying stuff like that to somebody.

1:17:39 Adam Yeah, here's what, you know, I haven't explained my theory to engineer Chris about this. You have this, is that the soft palate up above?

1:17:49 Drew Hard and then soft in the back.

1:17:50 Adam Soft in the back, how far back does the hard go?

1:17:54 Drew Well, the soft way you start gagging.

1:17:57 Adam But the hard is sort of weird and ticklish. And the hard is actually hard. Is that a bone? Is that like a plate?

1:18:01 Drew Yeah.

1:18:02 Adam And then it gets soft.

1:18:03 Drew Yeah.

1:18:03 Adam Yeah, if you apply enough penis pressure up in here, Chris is here.

1:18:09 Drew Chris, you're thinking those?

1:18:11 Adam You're right, Chris. On the hard palate, it will actually change the timbre of the voice. Yes, Drew?

1:18:18 Drew Yes, Adam, of course.

1:18:21 Adam Let's talk, and then don't even get me started on the whole corn holding thing. You want to change the voice? How about you move on to the other studio? We got some chicken here, can keep quiet. Moving on back to his folks house in about 20 minutes. April.

1:18:39 Drew 23.

1:18:40 Adam A little McDonald's drive-through and a nice side of tears. He dunks his chicken fingers into a little ranch and some tears. It's all right. I've taken a kid under my wing. It's like it's my own. You know what I mean? I do a sort of a, I call it a silent mentoring program.

1:19:03 Drew Ignoring mentoring.

1:19:06 Adam I'm actually, first a child should be seen and not heard.

1:19:10 Drew Yes.

1:19:10 Adam That's number one. Number two, do as I do and don't talk to me or something like that. I just come in here and lead by example.

1:19:20 Drew Yeah.

1:19:20 Adam Right? Of course not. Uh-oh.

1:19:24 Drew Yes.

1:19:24 Adam 23?

1:19:25 Drew Yes.

1:19:25 Adam What's up? Yes. Okay.

1:19:27 Drew Here we go.

1:19:30 Caller I'm 23 and I just lost my virginity and I've been dating this guy for four months and he broke up with me and I have no idea why he broke up with me.

1:19:42 Drew Immediately after losing your virginity?

1:19:44 Caller No, no, no. I kind of was ready to have sex for about a year before he started pursuing me, but I didn't want to have sex with anybody. I wanted to just be in a relationship first.

1:19:57 Adam Yeah. What happened with that? How'd that go?

1:20:01 Caller With having sex with him?

1:20:02 Adam Well, I mean...

1:20:04 Caller Why I waited?

1:20:05 Adam Yeah. Why'd you wait?

1:20:07 Caller For a couple of reasons. I'm from the nation's highest pregnancy rate, the area that I'm located in, so I was very afraid of getting pregnant, and also I grew up very spiritual, and I believed in abstinence for a long time until I moved to Los Angeles, and I became very liberated and kind of loosened up.

1:20:26 Adam That'll crush your spirituality, Los Angeles. Where are you from?

1:20:31 Caller I'm from Tulare, so it's about 45 minutes south of Fresno, north of Bakersfield, Cowtown.

1:20:39 Adam Well, that's just white trash on white trash over there.

1:20:43 Caller Not just white trash.

1:20:44 Adam Oh, it's a handful of Mexicans over there. It's one big rape fest over there, a bunch of migrant workers.

1:20:50 Caller There's not a lot to do except that.

1:20:52 Adam They're just banging the bejesus out of each other. Yeah, and those people are, it's really like of mice and men. And you're going.

1:21:02 Drew And grapes are rad.

1:21:03 Adam I mean, grapes are rad. Sorry. You're going back to like the Dust Bowl over there.

1:21:08 Drew The shanty towns.

1:21:10 Adam Desperate people. They got nothing to do but get it on.

1:21:13 Drew It's good, Adam. You got the right author.

1:21:15 Adam I did. Steinway?

1:21:18 Caller Anyway.

1:21:19 Drew Steinway makes the panels.

1:21:25 Caller Can a guy get a yeast infection just from not keeping himself clean? Or is it only sexually related?

1:21:30 Drew No, if he's uncircumcised, they can get yeast infection.

1:21:35 Caller Because he was not circumcised. I was just curious.

1:21:39 Adam You mean, can they get them from you?

1:21:41 Caller No, I mean, I know they can. Because we hadn't had sex in like five days because I was on my period. And he had one. And I thought, okay, was this just because he didn't take a shower for a couple of days and he was, you know, not keeping himself clean?

1:21:56 Drew I know. What is this with him dumping you? What was going on in the relationship with you? How did he leave?

1:22:01 Caller Well, we had great sex the night before. And then the next morning, I dropped him off at work.

1:22:09 Drew Wait, wait, wait. Was this your first time together?

1:22:13 Caller Our first time was in December. And he broke up with me about two weeks ago. So ever since then, it's been really good. I don't know why we broke up.

1:22:25 Drew How did he break up?

1:22:26 Caller How did he break up? Well, the next morning, I dropped him off at work, kissed him goodbye. And then later that afternoon, he called me and told me we needed to talk. And he just said we had differences. And it was just a huge shock to me because we never fought ever.

1:22:39 Drew I have an absolute read on that, too.

1:22:41 Caller I know. Hold on a second.

1:22:45 Adam Gay?

1:22:46 Drew No. But just the equivalent. Another girl.

1:22:52 Adam Maybe there was always another girl.

1:22:55 Drew But whatever it is, that one now is stepping up. You know what I mean? Now he's going with that one, period.

1:23:01 Adam Yeah, yeah.

1:23:02 Drew That's it.

1:23:02 Adam Yeah, going, you know, sort of looking back.

1:23:08 Drew Whenever a guy all of a sudden goes, we've got to talk now, something, a shoe has dropped. That's what that means.

1:23:17 Adam Let's talk about this, because it's probably happened to me several dozen times over my dating career, too. When you're sort of confused, like when you're thinking, well, look, they might have put us on any stamps, but I've seen worse couples, you know what I mean? Like, we're getting along okay, sex is decent. Where are you going?

1:23:36 Drew They won't do anything. But if they're kind of unhappy-

1:23:39 Adam No, no, here's what I'm saying. When someone just says to you, hey, that's it, we're breaking up, and you're saying, oh, we went to Santa Barbara together last week and we had a good time, what's up? And when you're confused by it-

1:23:54 Drew It means something. Something happened to the person.

1:23:57 Adam It usually means somebody's reared their head.

1:23:59 Drew Yeah, somebody got somebody.

1:24:00 Adam It could be an old flame. Sometimes it's like a job where they have a couple of applications out, there's somebody's when they need to pick up a little work in the interim and then all of a sudden the phone rings and it's- It's the president. The guy's over at Lockheed. They have a place for a head engineer or something like pow, and I'm packing my bag.

1:24:18 Drew Yeah, you call your employer, that's it, I'm sorry. But especially when they're extremely that deliberate too because usually a guy that's just kind of unhappy and wants to get out will kind of go, at dinner will go, I don't know, I don't know, it's me, it's not you, as opposed to, we got to talk now. This is, it's over, let's talk about that.

1:24:33 Adam He'll be trying to bang you up by the way, the following, whatever the closest Friday. If in fact that is Friday, he'll try that later that night. But if it's Saturday, it'll be the following Friday and you do the math, whatever the next Friday that comes along is, he's going to once up.

1:24:48 Drew I'm telling you, that's the way guys are. It means another girl pal.

1:24:51 Adam And I think it could be the way women are too when you get that sort of confused. Not quite as bad.

1:24:56 Drew Girl, women will give you 100 warnings though before that happens. The guys just miss them. The girls get no warnings from the guys. They just throw them at the new job. Steinway. He's just laughing at me.

1:25:09 Caller This is a complete shock to me.

1:25:11 Drew Does that make sense?

1:25:13 Caller Yeah, it kind of makes sense.

1:25:15 Caller I see him now because he works at the gym. And I have, you know, when I'm...

1:25:20 Adam If he works at the gym, all bets are off. I worked at the gym with chicks. Oh, you got chicks. Because you know, he's got that fanny pack. He's got this baggy tiger.

1:25:29 Drew Well, let's see what she's observed.

1:25:31 Caller So when I run into him, I don't know, like, to just ignore him or to say hi. You go, I want to be friends, you know. That's fine.

1:25:37 Drew No, he just wants to not feel bad.

1:25:39 Adam He doesn't want to feel bad. Yeah.

1:25:41 Caller There's another chick.

1:25:43 Adam There's another chick. Look, April, there's nothing wrong with you. You're 23. You're cute. You name April. You're fine. Think about another guy. Don't worry about him anymore. Plenty of guys after you, all right? All right, baby doll. Do not... Don't fret. Yeah, don't fret. You're 23. You're in the prime of your life.

1:26:05 Drew And by the way, she's just kind of getting going. There's going to be some not so good guys.

1:26:09 Adam She may be chronologically 23, but emotionally, she's in high school. Yeah, she's in 10th, 11th grade.

1:26:16 Drew She'll go through these pretty quick and then find the real thing.

1:26:19 Adam We'll be back. Hey, everybody, it's Adam.

1:26:22 Drew And I'm Dr. Drew.

1:26:23 Adam Here to talk about Axe Deodorant Body Spray.

1:26:25 Drew Yes, sir.

1:26:26 Adam You spray that on, you give stink the axe. Hey, yeah, Loveline, I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew. Dr. Drew was just handed the Blender magazine. Well, your name is mentioned in the thing. Is it not?

1:27:00 Drew Yes, it is.

1:27:01 Adam Drew gave me the hands like, don't say anything, but anyone who picks up an issue of Blender magazine can, there's an interview with Courtney Love, and she says you called her sane. Yes?

1:27:14 Drew Yes, that's what she says.

1:27:15 Adam Well, what's it say? Turn to the page.

1:27:16 Drew I'm reading something else I wrote, too, apparently, about Jessica Simpson and Nick.

1:27:20 Adam The hell? What did you write about them?

1:27:22 Drew I didn't.

1:27:23 Adam What do these people care about you for, Drew? Focus on me, would you please?

1:27:27 Drew I do. All right, you find what Courtney Love said about you, and we'll hop back to the phone. Courtney was brought to La Censina's Hospital in Pasilla, where radio personality and MTV host Dr. Drew Pinsky serves as medical director for the Department of Chemical Appendices Services. Thank the blanking lord for Pinsky, Love says. She contends that Pinsky took one look at her and said, what are you doing here? This must be a mistake. Although a patient could be held for 72 hours for a 5150, Love was released from the hospital later that same night and managed to find her way home.

1:28:02 Adam Now, that doesn't sound like the Drew I know, not the Drew that wouldn't give me a refill on my Ambien. He thinks I'm a junkie, meanwhile he's proclaiming it, giving Courtney Love the key to the city.

1:28:16 Drew That's right.

1:28:17 Adam So you never said you're fine, you're sane.

1:28:20 Drew The way the HIPAA laws are, I can't even say whether I saw her or not or whether she's speaking the truth or not or anything. That is the new laws. You can't even acknowledge.

1:28:30 Adam The HIPAA stuff?

1:28:30 Drew The HIPAA laws. Is that what they call? No, these are new privacy laws.

1:28:34 Adam Why are they called HIPAA?

1:28:35 Drew HIPAA, the Patient Privacy Advocacy Act or something. I don't know.

1:28:40 Adam Private? Where's the H come from?

1:28:42 Drew Hospital and insurance, patient privacy, who knows? I don't know what it stands for.

1:28:46 Adam You can't talk about anything.

1:28:47 Drew You can't even, you can't acknowledge that you have a patient.

1:28:50 Adam Yeah, I know. But except for when the patient, then...

1:28:53 Drew Then you can't say whether, you literally, the law requires you to say, I can't tell you whether that's true or not. Whether that person saw you...

1:29:00 Adam Listen, Dr. Jackoff, if the patient is talking in a magazine about greeting you at a hospital, you can acknowledge that meaning.

1:29:09 Drew No, I can't.

1:29:10 Adam Yeah, of course you can.

1:29:11 Drew No, you can't, Adam. That's against the law.

1:29:13 Adam Please it is not. You're such a puss.

1:29:15 Drew Let me tell you, when people call my hospital, let's say you're in the unit and your father calls.

1:29:21 Adam How dare you?

1:29:22 Drew Your father calls and I have to say I can't acknowledge whether that patient is in this facility or not.

1:29:27 Adam All right, well that means he's in there. No, look, I don't care about that. I'm talking about if somebody says that they went somewhere to your hospital and greeted you and it's in print, you can acknowledge whether that exchange took place. I'm not talking about seeing her subsequently or calling even her your patient, which then now you've let the cat out of the bag. You can say whether this exchange has happened or not.

1:29:55 Drew I can't because she's your patient. Because it says, do you hear that, Chris? Because if I say that it happened, it would say she was a patient at a hospital where I can't acknowledge that she was or was not a patient.

1:30:04 Adam No, because she walked in, said hi to you and turned around and left.

1:30:08 Drew That's not what it says.

1:30:09 Adam Oh, that's what I thought it said. She was out that night.

1:30:12 Drew Yeah, she was. That's what it says.

1:30:13 Adam Well, what did it say? Read it again. And stop switching pages, Drew.

1:30:18 Drew I want to read this other thing.

1:30:19 Adam Well, stop reading the other thing. What's the other thing say? Read the other thing, goddammit.

1:30:22 Drew It's that I claim to say that Jessica and Nick's marriage will last eight to ten years.

1:30:28 Adam Oh, really? Is that true?

1:30:29 Drew I think they'll last a while. They do.

1:30:31 Adam Eight to ten is a long time?

1:30:32 Drew What I told them was that eight to ten years we'll see. That'll be the point at which we'll see whether the passion that they have now will sustain to the next level. And I was saying that their schedule is their biggest problem, they don't sort of prioritize their relationship.

1:30:45 Adam Get back to the Hippolog over there. Find that thing again.

1:30:51 Drew She said.

1:30:52 Adam You got it? No, go ahead.

1:30:54 Drew It says brought to the Los Encinas where I serve as medical director and saw her.

1:30:59 Adam You saw her.

1:30:59 Drew According to her. And I said, what are you doing here? This must be a mistake. Basically, that's what she says.

1:31:05 Adam And so that took place. According to her. You're such a big puss. Oh, stop being such a puss. It's in. It's in the magazine.

1:31:13 Caller Yeah.

1:31:13 Adam It's in the magazine.

1:31:15 Caller She said it.

1:31:16 Adam Not you.

1:31:17 Drew Correct. She said it.

1:31:17 Adam She said it.

1:31:18 Drew That's right.

1:31:19 Adam All right. I can't stand a puss.

1:31:21 Drew It's not a puss. That is the law. That is the law. They're super clear on the stuff now.

1:31:25 Adam Yeah. Let me ask you this, Mr. Law. What's the speed limit?

1:31:31 Drew Speed limit is wherever you are.

1:31:33 Adam What's the speed limit? Fifty five, six five. How fast you driving away home? That's the law.

1:31:39 Drew That's the law.

1:31:39 Adam That's the law.

1:31:40 Drew That's the law.

1:31:41 Adam That's the law.

1:31:43 Drew So, therefore, I should just go and rob a bank because if I speed, therefore, I'm completely out of control.

1:31:48 Adam I think we've established there's some flexibility in what you call the law.

1:31:53 Drew These are really serious. Let me tell you something. People are looking on these laws.

1:31:57 Adam Yeah.

1:31:58 Drew You have no idea what's going on around this. What?

1:32:00 Adam They're looking for lawsuits.

1:32:02 Drew You can't even imagine.

1:32:03 Adam I know. But.

1:32:04 Drew And the hospital is the ones that take the heat on this stuff.

1:32:07 Adam All right. She. She did the interview saying you were in the hospital.

1:32:11 Drew Yes, she did.

1:32:12 Adam And you know, you're not saying you were there when she did the interview saying she came in and greeted you and you called her sane seems well, actually seems ironically more guilty than actually saying something, Kim. Hi. All right. I'm disgusted with all that. Let's take a break. I've had enough. We'll be back.

1:32:36 Caller Alright guys, here's the deal.

1:32:39 Drew Call the Dateline.

1:32:39 Caller Sick of wasting time with the wrong person?

1:32:41 Drew Call the Dateline.

1:32:42 Caller One call is all you need to make.

1:32:44 Drew Call the Dateline.

1:32:45 1-877-889-DATE. You know what I'm saying, I'm dead!

1:33:16 Adam Well, there's the show.

1:33:17 Drew The roller coaster show tonight.

1:33:19 Adam That's good times.

1:33:20 Drew Covered a lot of territory.

1:33:21 Adam Absolutely. Pennywise in here tomorrow night. So until next time, this is Adam Carolla for Dr. Drew saying mahalo.

1:33:32 Caller This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or this station. The producer for Loveline is Ann Ingold. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Monday, April 19, 2004