Episode 1000607061224

3:46 Drew Let's go. Hey, everybody, it's the Loveline.

4:03 Voiceover I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Dr. Drew, board certified physician.

4:09 Dish, badge, bottle, all that.

4:12 Adam Yeah, yeah, mm.

4:15 Drew So, holiday.

4:16 Drew, you said a word when I was drinking.

4:18 Drew Holiday evening.

4:19 Adam It took a beat, but it was good.

4:20 Drew Let me finish it.

4:21 Adam No, I'm just saying, hold on a second.

4:23 Drew It's a letter day, a red letter day, I'll grant you. I actually spoke during your drinking. I didn't act like some sort of marionette. Some sort of, what do they call those things, the dummies?

4:32 Adam So normally we talk over each other for a long time, and then I lean over and take a little sip of something, and then there's about four seconds of dead air, and then I come back, and then you start talking when I come back.

4:41 Drew So I've decided from now on.

4:42 Adam You took a three count and said so.

4:43 Drew From now on, I'm gonna say so when you drink.

4:45 Adam All right, good.

4:45 Drew To prove that you are not actually the ventriloquist behind me.

4:49 Adam Here we go.

4:50 Drew Ready?

4:50 Adam I'm gonna take a sip.

4:52 Drew So it's a holiday. Yeah. And you would think on a holiday, there'd be no traffic on the freeway, wouldn't you?

5:00 Adam Well, here's what I would think. I know where you're going with this. There was not much traffic earlier today, about three or four o'clock. At least it seemed to me.

5:10 Drew Yeah, it was around right.

5:11 Adam And I figure people would be doing, God knows what you do on Easter these days. But then I figures, here's what I figure. I would figure that at nine, eight, nine, 10 o'clock, people would be coming back from coming out of town. Yeah, yeah.

5:25 Drew I think, but you wouldn't think it to be just jammed.

5:28 Adam Yeah, it was crowded. It was crowded.

5:31 Drew And then another thing shocked me tonight. I heard you use the word shun. You were talking to one of your friends as you walked in here. I thought, you must shun him.

5:37 Adam Yes.

5:38 Drew And I thought.

5:39 Adam To shun.

5:40 Drew Oh my God. I've never heard a human with an X and Y chromosome.

5:44 Adam That's a dude.

5:45 Drew Less, less.

5:46 Adam Chris, that's a dude.

5:47 Drew A dude with seemingly excessive male characteristics. Shun. I'm shun, I, I, I.

5:55 Adam Well, you get older. You get older, you start producing more estrogen.

5:59 Drew You test the estrogen like that.

6:01 Adam You learn to shun.

6:02 Drew Good, okay, good time.

6:04 Yeah.

6:04 Drew All right. I think this is a follow on to last week when we had Cuthbert in here.

6:12 Yeah.

6:13 Drew Alicia Cuthbert.

6:13 Adam Yeah.

6:14 Drew And she told you, you were too old.

6:15 Adam Yeah.

6:16 Drew And your test, you just shrunk, shriveled up. The estrogen went up.

6:20 Adam That was an iron shanked boot right in the groin.

6:24 Drew Well, and that shut down the testosterone and now you're shunning.

6:27 Adam Yeah.

6:27 Drew It's good times.

6:28 Adam Too old.

6:30 Drew And then you were shot.

6:31 Adam Yeah, that was rough. Yeah, Alicia Cuthbert was in here. I don't know if she was 21.

6:37 She's 21.

6:38 Adam You know, my whole thing about Hollywood though is that if you're a successful guy like myself, you should be able to date who, you know, should be able to date like.

6:47 Drew You and Tony Curtis. Yeah, you and Tony Curtis be dating Zion.

6:50 Adam Yeah. Well, anyway. Yeah.

6:57 Drew And guess who's back.

6:58 Adam Yeah, Engineer Anderson. Gonna just dump a little salt in our wound. Yeah. All right, so Ron Perlman coming in here tomorrow night. He is a hell boy, hell boy, number, I guess it was number one at the box office last week.

7:13 Drew And then it went down to number two because, because everyone went to see The Passions for Easter.

7:18 Adam Right. And I imagine it'll go back. If there's any God, it'll go back to number one again.

7:24 Drew How'd the girl next door do? Anderson?

7:29 Adam I don't know because maybe Anderson will know. I know Alamo didn't do all that great. And there was a couple other movies I can't remember.

7:39 Drew I was thinking to myself that this New York Minute thing that I worked on with the Olsen Twins had better do well because they are spending a fortune on advertising.

7:48 Adam I've just seen one Billboard so far.

7:50 Drew Yeah, but I've seen a hundred television commercials Oh really? In every time I go to the movie theater or the trailer.

7:55 Adam Are you in the trailer?

7:56 Drew In the movies.

7:57 Adam But not on the TV? All right, that's still pretty good.

8:00 Drew That's good times.

8:00 Adam Yeah, that's good. Well, maybe it will be a big hit. Why shouldn't it be?

8:04 Drew Got the Olsen Twins.

8:06 Adam Yeah, those girls, they crap. They put varnish on it, make paperweights out of it, make $10 million a year. Everything that comes out of them turns a profit. Do you understand? They lacquer their Duke, they sell it as paper, they stamp their initials in it, they sell them as paperweights. They made 9.87, almost $10 million last year, just on unloose-sided Duke.

8:30 Drew And now I know why they're not coming on the show.

8:32 Adam That's right. Now listen, they're not coming on the show because they're faggity, whatever they got. The publicists are horrible. It's nothing to do with them. Go ahead Anderson.

8:40 Girl Next Door came in 10 spot.

8:42 Drew 10 spot.

8:43 Adam 10.

8:43 Drew Not bad.

8:43 Adam Six million. How much? Six million. Six million?

8:47 Drew That's about what they were predicting. Seven, somewhere.

8:48 Adam They were? It's 10? Oh, and Alamo came in. What was the order Anderson? Do you have it?

8:56 Yeah, it's behind me, so hold on.

8:57 Adam All right, screw it.

8:58 It's the passion of his Christness. Hellboy.

9:01 Adam Hellboy.

9:03 Drew Well, Chris looking at it.

9:03 Adam Chris knows it. Yeah.

9:05 The family vacation.

9:06 Adam Oh, the family vacation.

9:08 Alamo, yeah.

9:09 Walking Tall. The remake.

9:11 Adam Yeah, sure.

9:12 Not the original.

9:13 Yeah.

9:14 Home on the Range, which is the new Disney, these little color cartoon there.

9:19 Adam All right. Here we go.

9:20 Scooby-Doo 2.

9:21 Drew Oh, yeah. Which was in classic. Which was not bad.

9:24 Adam You saw that.

9:24 Drew We had to get Matthew back up here. I did take my kids to it, and I really thought it was quite, really, I didn't get that, oh my God, I'm wasting my life feeling, I get most films that I see with kids, and Matthew did an amazing job this time. He really, it's like he really sort of has a facility now with that character.

9:39 Adam He's a gifted desk fan.

9:41 Drew Well, this is, he's got it.

9:43 Adam Here's what happens. No, look, I swear to Christ, you're right. In my book, we got all these actors who are playing some gimp with a easel in front of them, doing a little painting, and everyone applauds because the guy has a lisp, and he only has the use of one eye, and all of a sudden we got to give Daniel Day-Lewis another Oscar. To me, the total order is being Jim Morrison or being Shaggy. Like, if you said to me, hey, do you think you could portray a struggling gay painter? I'd say, yeah, give me a month. I could probably work something up for it. But if they said you could do Shaggy, I'd just be like, we gotta go, Daddy-O, and it'd be the lamest thing in the world.

10:26 Drew Bringing something to life that has a very stringent experience. We all know what it is. You better bring it back out exactly the way we expect it. It's not gonna work.

10:36 Adam No, I know. I mean, seriously, he is Shaggy, and he's laughed at in the Hollywood community.

10:44 Drew Is he really?

10:45 Adam No, I mean, yeah.

10:46 Drew I mean, but it's not considered a serious role.

10:48 Adam It's considered lightweight fluff, which it is, but in terms of the, it is a tall order. You know what I mean? It's a lightweight, nothing movie, but actually becoming this guy who is a cartoon.

11:01 Drew Huge.

11:02 Adam Doing the voice exactly right, the mannerisms and whatever. He doesn't even have a guy to go off of. He has a cartoon to go off of.

11:09 Drew Right, and this time he had a facility with it that really I thought was kind of nice. Very great.

11:14 Adam Give him a can of rewards. I'm just saying.

11:16 Drew I'm with you.

11:18 Adam Yes, yeah, here's all I'm saying. What's her name, Anderson's got to get the best supporting role on my cousin Vinny. Marissa Tomei.

11:33 Drew 10 years ago.

11:34 Adam Okay, well the point is, she's just playing some Jersey Chicks. She's probably from there. Here's the big thing. Chew some gum while you talk. There you go. I don't know, to me playing Shaggy would be a taller order. All right, thank you. Let's see Marissa Tomei play Shaggy. Uh-huh.

11:50 Drew See, it shows. Shows how tall that order is.

11:53 Adam Steve?

11:55 Yeah.

11:56 Adam Yeah, this is all energy leftover from Val Kilmer being snubbed for the Doors movie, which I think he should have won the Oscar for. Go ahead, Steve.

12:05 All right, got kind of a list of problems, but I'll start you off with the basics. Since about September, I've had a really bad problem of going out and trying to find some other girls cheating on my girlfriend. But the thing is, if I just can't find it, I'll go and pay for it.

12:23 Drew How long has that been going on for?

12:26 Since September of last year.

12:28 Drew And how often do you do it?

12:31 Probably been with about 15 different women.

12:34 Drew All of them prostitutes or?

12:36 Yeah, all of them, just prostitutes.

12:39 Drew Just prostitutes. All right, what's the question?

12:43 Adam How much does the average prostitute run?

12:45 Probably average is about 200 to 250.

12:50 Adam Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. Hold on a second. Drew and I were laughing last week about that show Hookers on the Brink. Is it on the brink or on the edge? Maybe Anderson knows. It was like HBO Showtime show where they just follow hookers around, they mic them up, they get in the car, the Johns get into the car with them. It's like, okay, sugar, $15 for BJ, $20 for sex. And then you hear the guy go, come on, girl, you gotta do me better than that. So I was like, that's 20 bucks for sex, huh? You flipped the guy at the airport 20 bucks for grabbing your bag, 20.

13:28 Drew What are you trying to say?

13:31 Adam Yeah, maybe we should be getting more. I'm just saying, trying to talk someone down from a $15 BJ. What do you want? Okay, you're right.

13:41 Drew That's 14.95, 14.48.

13:43 Adam No, no, you're right. This is grossly inflated. It's about $8, $8 or $9.

13:50 The chick's got gap teeth and she's missing an eye.

13:53 Adam All right, it is true. It is true that they're like, you know, the factory seconds, so to speak, of hookers. I mean, this isn't your, you know, high class call girl. This ain't what's her nose from Pretty Woman. Right. But, Julia, but still, they're in their 20s. They're reasonably built. They're not missing any limbs. I just like the fact that the guy's gonna haggle with them over the $20 BJ. $20, who do I look like?

14:23 Drew Then the other thing we're amazed by is that them in their car with their voice, license plate, pixel loud. Right. You can let that go in the air?

14:32 Adam The guys know, there's no idea. Yeah, that five years of doing the man show, if I wanted to wear a pair of goddamn Nikes, had to put a piece of tape over the Nike, otherwise we'd get sued. And they just hide the cameras, have the chick go in, sit there, you hear the guy's voice, you see his, you know, he drives a green beat up Cherokee or Gremlin with a Bondo on one of the fenders. You don't think his wife just could sit home and sees his car pull up and hears his voice? And as Drew mentioned on The Way to the Bathroom, his preference too, like a Helmet's Extra for the Thumb. You know what I mean? Like when the wife, like if your wife, your passionate mandra, your wife would know what you were ordering. You know what I mean? It's like-

15:15 Drew Recognize your order.

15:16 Adam Yeah, like they look at, if they look at a receipt from a restaurant that you ate at with two people, you go, yeah, that's Drew. That's what he gets. Yeah.

15:27 Drew Have a good time. So Steve, what is your question for us?

15:30 Like, I really, the girl I'm with, I have a steady girlfriend for past year and a half.

15:36 Adam Just break up with her.

15:37 Drew What is the question?

15:39 I mean, I need to get some help to like stop this.

15:43 Drew Where are you? All right, let me ask you some simple questions. Were you sexually abused growing up?

15:48 No.

15:49 Drew Are you an alcoholic or addict?

15:51 No.

15:51 Drew You've never been addicted to a substance?

15:54 No, my mom's a coke head and does marijuana. My dad's kind of an alcoholic as it is. So I try to clear that growing up.

16:02 Drew But you were not abused in any way.

16:04 No.

16:06 Drew Are you a Mormon?

16:08 It really started. Like the whole thing really started when I got back from Iraq. Like as soon, like as I got back, me and my girlfriend had a whole lot more problems. And then I kind of lost the unit I was in. And I lost some friends overseas on her birthday. And when I got back, I had a, I was transferred out of the unit and I went to the whole other side of the country. And that's where it happened. Like what happened? The prostitutes? I started looking for other women. Yeah, that's when the prostitutes started.

16:39 Drew This may be, you know, sometimes people just like starting to use drugs, they will use sex the way of trying to manage overwhelming feelings. And this may be sort of a way to conceptualize this as a post-traumatic stress disorder of types. If you had this horrible experience in Iraq, you now can't, you know, it's too scary to be intimate. You have all these overwhelming feelings.

16:57 Adam Doesn't everyone in ghost Iraq have a horrible experience?

17:00 Drew If you really just break it down. I imagine, you know.

17:02 Adam I mean, do you have to say you had a horrible experience in Iraq or could you just say, I've been to Iraq?

17:08 Drew Yeah, I think I've been to Iraq is enough, but he actually, he had a bad, and he had a horrible experience.

17:12 Adam But if you come back in a body bag.

17:15 Drew That's an extra.

17:16 Adam Then we should say something about it. If you just went to Iraq and came back, we'll assume you had a horrible experience.

17:20 Drew I'm imagining not everyone is in battle, in combat. Not everyone loses friends. And that's what this guy.

17:26 Adam Not everybody. I just mean everybody in Iraq has a horrible experience. is having a horrible experience. Iraqis, animals, everybody, lawn jockeys, all of them.

17:35 Drew But are you, now what are you suggesting we do with Iraq? You've changed your tune, it sounds like. About Iraq.

17:41 Adam No, I'm just saying it's a horrible place. I don't know if the people really, I don't really know if the people are governor ball. If that, if I didn't screw that word up too much. Governor ball. Govern a ball. There we go. You know what I mean? I'm not sure if they're ready for it.

17:59 Drew Things like that have been said about Vietnam and Philippines at the end of each war. These things are said. Eventually people come around to the former governments in Cambodia.

18:12 Adam Well, that's a little different situation.

18:16 Drew Yeah, but still, you know, horrible civil strife, horrible divisions and war. And then people behave a certain way.

18:25 Adam Well, anyway, anyway, they're like wild stallions that can't be broken except for it's not in a good way.

18:33 Drew I was talking to the Bobby Brown show that's about to come out on TV, the reality show where they're following him around in cameras. Yeah. And I heard how they're spinning that's like, he's a free spirit. Oh, my God, I cannot let that one, that, that, please give me a camera. I mean a free spirit. Well, my God, when does sociopathy become free spirited?

18:53 Adam Sociopathy? Yeah, I don't know. Hey, so listen, Steve should go to, no, no, wait a minute. Is it SA?

19:03 Drew Yes. Well, I'm not sure he's a sex addict. He is clearly using sex as in response to all this trauma he's been through. I think he just needs to go somewhere, have an evaluation and see if somebody come up with a diagnostic sort of idea of what's going on with him and then refer him. Maybe SA, certainly 12 step wouldn't hurt. And by the way, I mean no ill to Bobby Brown. I'm being facetious, but great people, great people. But, I mean, the free spirit thing is that we cannot let people act, I mean, Michael Jackson's a free spirit too, and you know what I'm saying? There's more to these stories than free spiritedness that needs to be looked at honestly and critically. I'm not meant to hurt anybody. In fact, it might help them be able to be seen more honestly as who they are.

19:49 Adam Okay, let's just talk about this for a second, because in the past, the news wouldn't really get involved with a lot of these stories. Now, and I think this is the part you object to and I object to as well, they act like they're getting involved with it because they're concerned, and because they want to provide some sort of public forum for these kind of things, but they never get to the problem.

20:08 Drew No, they just keep the spin going.

20:10 Adam Yeah, and it's more like, they wrap it up by going, he's a deeply spiritual man, and with the help of his things and the help of the Lord, he will find the strength that, well no, he needs rehab is what he needs.

20:23 Drew Whoever, yes.

20:23 Adam Or whatever it is. And there's too much BS all around people's inner light. And yes, it's BS, and they never do get to it. So now it's insulting, like I wish it was back how it was, but they just wouldn't even talk about it anymore.

20:39 Drew It would be shameful.

20:41 Adam It would be shameful for them to actually go and talk to these people. Or to make this, or shaming to the people. These stories weren't newsworthy. All right. Jessica?

20:51 Yeah.

20:52 Adam You're 22?

20:53 Caller Mm-hmm.

20:54 Adam What's up?

20:56 Caller I had a breast or suck reduction surgery a while back, and my breast is still tender, and I'm kind of wondering about how long it's gonna be until that stops.

21:09 Adam Where'd you go from? What were you?

21:11 Caller A double D, kind of in between that and a triple.

21:15 Adam That and a triple D?

21:16 Mm-hmm.

21:16 Drew Somebody said there was not a triple D.

21:18 Adam I thought there wasn't a triple D.

21:20 Caller Well, then somebody had to tell Victoria's Secret that.

21:23 Adam Victoria's Secret makes a triple D?

21:25 Mm-hmm.

21:26 Adam I'll tell you my plan, Drew.

21:28 Drew Well, they should have the universal...

21:30 Adam I'm gonna tag those triple D bras, just like they tagged the caribou in Alaska to figure out their migration, and then we're gonna follow them home. You know what I'm saying?

21:41 Drew Yeah, you have a little radar device.

21:43 Adam Yeah, they do that on clothing already, where they just put that little magnetic thing on there.

21:48 Drew That's in case you get into an avalanche or something.

21:50 Adam I'll be in a van outside the Galleria.

21:53 Drew Boop, boop, boop. You'll need to have Seth Green behind the radar. Isn't that his role now?

21:57 Adam Yeah, I'll have Seth Green. He'll be the nerdy guy back there.

21:59 Drew Right, behind the computer.

22:01 Adam Right, and I'll have like Jon Favreau in a campy hat driving the van, smoking a cigar. And I'll say stuff like, let's roll. And then we have visual in the unit. And it'll just be a chick in a mini van and we'll follow her home. And then we'll set up, we'll bivouac outside the house and set up a surveillance camera.

22:18 Drew But let's agree that if anyone were gonna set up the universal, should we call it language or system for bras? For cup size, it would be Victoria's Secret. They should just claim it.

22:28 Adam Now they should.

22:29 Drew Yeah.

22:29 Adam All right, so Victoria's Secret makes a triple D.

22:33 Drew Therefore it exists.

22:35 Adam Oh, and hold on, let me say this too. You know, it's all this, everyone's on us about talking about, you know, content, what's on the radio, FCC, all this kind of stuff, content on the television. These Victoria-

22:52 Drew They canceled that.

22:52 Adam Secret-

22:54 Drew The TV show?

22:54 Adam No, the commercials. Spankable. I mean, spankable at seven, eight in the evening. You're sitting there watching entertainment tonight at 7.30 at night. That goes in the Victoria and Secret commercial. Yeah, kind of oiled up chick and, you know, tight bra and panties, cleavage for days, walking in slow motion, you know, down the runway, sort of jiggle. I mean, they're not wearing bathing suits. They don't make bathing suits. They don't make short shorts. They don't make halter tops. They make panties and bras.

23:23 Drew I just filed that under, we just can't decide what we are.

23:26 Adam We really can't.

23:28 Drew Because bathing suits are okay. Underwear not okay.

23:31 Adam Yeah, but-

23:33 Drew But maybe bathing suits aren't even okay.

23:34 Adam Still, like, you know, I'm not prude, but if you're sitting there with your eight-year-old and you're just watching TV at the seven o'clock, 7.30 at night, and this chick's sort of, she's jiggling. I mean, I don't, no one ever says anything about it. I don't want them to say anything about it. I enjoy it, but I'm just saying. Victoria's Secret has seemed to have slid under the radar-

23:57 Drew For the moment.

23:59 Adam For the moment, in terms of their stuff, you know why, you know, the thing that's interesting about it shows just as much skin. Chicks are a little better looking. It's a little classier. If one of the chicks had like a tattoo and a knife scar, and it was a Fredericks of Hollywood, they wouldn't get away with it. It would be considered poor taste. There's something-

24:18 Drew Therefore, if they try to take it off the air, it should be discriminatory. Well- If you can show evidence that they've let other stuff go by with lesser-looking models.

24:28 Adam Yeah, because they got Bob Dylan singing in the background. They should be pulled off for Bob Dylan singing, but it's good, good, spankable stuff. Oh, no, that's right. Yeah, it's solid.

24:41 Drew Oh, Chris, whoo, that was an enthusiast.

24:42 Adam Yeah. Jessica?

24:44 Caller Yeah.

24:45 Adam All right, so you were a triple D.

24:48 Caller Yeah, between that and a double.

24:49 Adam What size person are you?

24:52 Caller I'm pretty slim.

24:54 Adam Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. All right. Thank you.

25:01 Drew You done?

25:02 Adam Yeah. What's, all right, I don't know. You say what size, you know, no one will ever give you the size.

25:07 Caller Well, I work out regularly and I'm about 125, 130.

25:12 Adam Yeah, so you must have some kind of rocking bod on you, baby doll.

25:16 Caller It was becoming an issue.

25:18 Adam Really?

25:18 Caller Well, when you weigh that much and you got boobs that big, you're kind of falling over.

25:23 Adam Nice. Now, did you have a boyfriend at the time?

25:28 Caller Yeah, but we broke up.

25:29 Adam Yeah, well, man has his limits. And what did they got you down to what, D?

25:36 Caller I'm a C now.

25:38 Adam A C, all right.

25:39 Drew And where's the tenderness around the scars or where?

25:42 Caller Kind of all over.

25:44 Drew Yeah, it's a surgery, you know, and sometimes a year and a half, boy, do you have any numb spots?

25:52 Caller A little bit on the nipple part, like the...

25:54 Drew Has it grown at all since the surgery? So it stayed the same. Mm-hmm. You know, describe the pain and where is it, that sort of thing.

26:03 Caller It's just really super tender, especially on the underside.

26:08 Drew Where the scars are.

26:09 Caller Yeah, but above that as well.

26:12 Adam Hey, I have an areola question.

26:14 Drew The whole life, I just said it hurt, the question.

26:16 Adam Well, you think about your answer while I talk areola. Hey, Jessica. Mm-hmm. I want to actually have a little show called Adam's Areola Corner. Yeah, it's not exact, it's not a whole half hour show. It's like one of these nine minute things.

26:32 Drew Infomercials.

26:32 Adam Yeah, and I go.

26:33 Drew You need to know.

26:34 Adam At the end of it, and I go, and until next time, this is Adam Carolla for Adam Corolla's Areola Corner.

26:41 Drew A little rainbow.

26:42 Adam Thought you needed to know. Yeah, so here's the thing. How did you have your Areola shrunk now that the then the breast mass is taken away almost, you know, sort of like a balloon with more air in it? Mm-hmm. Is that, has that happened?

26:59 Caller The breast mass is shrunk? Reduced. I'm not sure what you're asking.

27:09 Adam What about the world's, what the? She didn't hear you. Did you speak Japanese on the radio all day? Is that all you people hear is just, haven't you speaking in like Cambodian or something? Nanahe. Yes, yes. Nanachin. Nanahechika. Yahya nanachika. That's where I turned Japanese at the end. I really just, no one has any idea what I'm ever talking about.

27:36 Drew I just don't think she was listening.

27:37 Adam Okay. Jessica.

27:39 Caller Yeah, sorry, you're a little dull.

27:43 Adam You should still be punished for not listening. Okay, remember we're talking about, okay, remember we're talking about areolas, right?

27:49 Caller Yeah, areolas, got it.

27:50 Adam And I asked, have your areola shrunk now that some of your breast mass has been removed?

27:56 Caller Oh, yeah, yeah, they took some of that off, right? I have giant areolas and normal-sized breasts.

28:02 Drew Oh, they cut around it.

28:03 Adam They took some of the areola off? Well, I don't know, it's not always, I don't know if they always do that on a breast reduction.

28:10 Caller Well, there's some women running around with some funky-looking breasts then.

28:13 Adam Well, there's some women with big breasts and small areolas, in which case, you would do a breast reduction and would actually get the nipple and the areola down.

28:24 Drew Are you otherwise happy with the procedure?

28:26 Caller Oh, yeah, yeah, best thing I ever did for myself.

28:28 Drew All right, it's not the...

28:29 But it's the worst that could happen.

28:33 Adam It's a song.

28:34 Drew Yeah.

28:35 Adam All right, we gotta go to Bernie Greer.

28:36 Drew Let me just say, that irritation, that could become chronic. I mean, a year and a half, things really, that should have healed by now. And so I... You may want to talk to the surgeon again about, sometimes they remove scar and things. That could be the source of the irritation.

28:50 Adam Go back and talk to the surgeon.

28:51 Drew Yeah, that's unfortunate. That's an unusual...

28:53 Adam And see if we can get that areola back from him and send it out to us. We'll get you a windbreaker.

28:57 Drew To you.

28:57 Adam Yeah.

28:58 Drew Adam's Corner.

28:59 Adam I'll take that. We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back.

29:03 1-800-LOVE-191.

29:07 As many as one in three Americans with HIV don't know it, to find a testing location near you, call toll free. 1-866-344-K-N-O-W.

29:30 Adam I'm Adam Ness, Dr. True, phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Ron Perlman, Hellboy, is gonna be in here tomorrow night.

29:41 Drew What else has he done?

29:43 Adam Hellboy, well, Ron Perlman also played Hell Girl, Hell Dog, Hell Cow, Hell Mom, Hellvetica, this type of print.

29:53 City of Lost Children and Happy Texas is known for it.

29:56 Adam Hellvetica was an action movie.

29:59 Remember that show Beauty and the Beast?

30:00 Adam Beauty and the Beast, yeah.

30:03 Drew Is he a big guy?

30:04 Adam He's not as big as Hellboy.

30:06 Drew But as a Hellboy, all made up stuff.

30:10 Adam Is he a big guy? I know it's a true story where, you know, Hitler went back through some porthole to some netherworld and tried to stop the actors.

30:23 Drew I mean, is he in real life like a wrestler guy type?

30:25 Adam No, I don't.

30:26 Drew Or is that all sort of make up?

30:28 Adam I think he's in good shape. I don't know, Anderson?

30:30 Well, in City of Lost Children, he was portrayed as a giant, so there might be something to that.

30:34 I don't know why he's cast.

30:36 Adam I think he's a good site. Let's not make fun of him until we can see him.

30:40 The Last Supper, too, was a great film that he was in.

30:43 Adam Well, he's got range, Last Supper and Hellboy. All right, well, we'll see Ron tomorrow night, and then Paul Tracy, race car driver, is gonna be in here, and then Antonio Sabato Jr. is gonna be in here, and yeah. All right, Tina Fey, The Darkness, Pennywise, Colby from Survivor following week. Ready to rock here, Drew? Here we go. All right, let's talk to Joey. Joey, Joey?

31:12 Yeah?

31:13 Adam You're 18?

31:15 Caller Yeah.

31:16 Adam What's up, buddy?

31:19 Caller Well, this past Thursday, I stayed after school with my art teacher, and she usually flirt with everybody, but I think this one, she took it a little too far, and I didn't really care at that time, and she was showing me how to do some drawing or whatever, and then she just, all of a sudden, she kept rubbing her legs, and my legs, and then she's out of nowhere, she's like, take off my shirt, and then I just zipped it off, and I started playing with her press, and she's like, what are you doing? And then she seemed like she, and then she just started enjoying it, and now I'm afraid she might accuse me of sexual harassment.

32:10 Drew No, she is the teacher. She is the one in the position where you can be exploited. So no, she is the one that's gonna get in trouble. And just so the cards, the table is not turned in some sort of bizarre way, because somebody, a teacher that's capable of that got only knows what she might pull, in terms of saying, not just you harassed her, but maybe you cornered her.

32:35 Adam The next thing you know, I mean, this is meter made publicist type activity. You know what I mean?

32:42 Drew You have no respect for this, basically you're saying. Zero, zero. And so you need to go to the school and hold on.

32:48 Adam Is this one may be bogus.

32:50 Drew No, I got it.

32:50 Adam You believe him?

32:51 Drew I feel the confusion.

32:52 Adam Joey is 18. Joey, I wonder what the wattage bulb Joey's got going up there. I'm guessing it's just one of those, yeah, whatever about the size of the one that's the marker light on the fender of your car. Not the headlight, the marker one on the side. Joey? Did you have sex with her?

33:20 Drew He just fool around.

33:21 Adam He just felt her boobies.

33:23 Caller Yeah, then we just started kissing.

33:26 Adam And then what, how did it end?

33:29 Caller Somebody knocked at the door and that's when we just stopped immediately.

33:36 Adam Okay, and you're 18 and you're a senior in high school?

33:41 Caller Yeah.

33:42 Adam Did you get held back or great?

33:44 Caller No, I just turned 18.

33:46 Drew Sometimes 18 year olds don't believe you.

33:48 Adam I'm just saying if you just turned.

33:50 Drew But his being 18 doesn't change the ethics of the circumstance.

33:54 Adam Not really, but it's better than a 15 year old.

33:56 Drew Yes, it's not as troublesome.

33:58 Adam All right, now listen, here's my point. I don't think Joey is gonna go narc her out.

34:03 Drew Yeah, he should.

34:04 Adam Are you?

34:05 Caller Oh, I don't know.

34:07 Adam Well, do you wanna go talk to the principal about her behavior?

34:18 Caller I don't know, because I enjoy you.

34:19 Drew Are you are you a kind of kid?

34:21 Adam I'm gonna ask him another yes or no question. I'm gonna make a number two during that time between. Yeah, let me say, yeah.

34:33 Drew Joey, yeah, it's cold in Chicago.

34:37 Adam Is it cold in Chicago? I'm going to go make a little bit. Not that much. No, it's safe. Hey, you got that way in like a hundred times faster. So, Joey, do you? OK, here's what I don't understand. You're calling us because you're worried you might get into trouble.

34:54 Drew You're a kind of trouble guy where people expect trouble from you? What's that? No, no. You're you're you stay out of trouble.

35:02 Adam OK, here's here's my plan for you, Joey. My plan for you is to not be alone with this teacher anymore.

35:08 Drew Yes.

35:10 Adam Get your grades, graduate and go off to a nice junior college.

35:14 Drew Be good for Joe.

35:15 Adam All right.

35:16 Caller So not safe.

35:18 Drew We couldn't hear it.

35:19 Adam I don't know what the F Joey said. Look, they didn't have sex.

35:24 Drew Right.

35:25 Adam OK, that sort of makes it better. Yes, the teacher screwed up.

35:30 Drew You know, a teacher might be screwing up with other kids.

35:32 Adam Yeah. These art teachers are just, you know, the art teachers and the shop teachers, they're just flunkies.

35:38 Drew Those are the ones you hung out with.

35:40 Adam I know they're flunkies. I mean, they're just they're, you know, guys who got their contractors license stripped and stuff and, you know, hurt their back or something. And, you know, they end up teaching shop that the arts teachers are just base. Here's here's here's what our teachers are. First are artists. They're struggling artists who can't who can't make a living doing the art. And secondly, they take the gig because it's like free clay and free easels and free kilns and all the junk they wouldn't have access to. And then they just they get worshiped by a bunch of retards because they know something about clay or something about art. It's nice, though. You got a bunch of 17 year olds who, you know, think you're worth something.

36:18 Drew Yeah. And you helped them change. Yeah, you could. What did you do for your holiday, by the way?

36:22 Adam I threw stuff on the potter's wheel.

36:25 Drew Oh, you did threw some pots. Good.

36:27 Adam No, but I did drive past a place like some trendy place like on Santa Monica or Melrose or something where it was like some sort of a ceramic school. And you know, the guy, you know, you go in there and throw your pots on the potter's wheel. And the whole front of the facade is is glass and there's a guy sitting there. And I thought to myself, this should be a shame factor. Man should not be sitting in front of God and everybody throwing a pot. Like, go ahead and put a screen up there or something, you know, hang a little bamboo, put a little foil on the window. So it seems like the guy's getting a BJ. Yeah.

37:01 Drew It's kind of cool.

37:02 Adam Kind of cool. Kind of gay at the same time.

37:05 Drew Went to Knott's Berry Farm on Friday.

37:07 Adam Yeah.

37:07 Drew Yeah, it was good times.

37:08 Adam What did you do?

37:09 Drew It was great. My kids are really into that stuff. They had a great time.

37:12 Adam But I realized that What a shock that you have 11 year olds that are in an amusement park.

37:16 Drew I'm really into it, Tommy. They like that.

37:18 Adam Every kid's really into it.

37:19 Drew And I realized as you age, it gets more difficult. It gets more difficult to tolerate those things. I get off right. I want to vomit. I got a headache.

37:26 Adam Oh, yeah.

37:27 Drew Look, my kids are crazy. Yeah, I can't explain it. I go with enthusiasm and then get off, barf over the ledge.

37:36 Adam I've said this many times about these rides and about many facets of technology. We are not evolving fast enough to keep up with this stuff.

37:47 Drew They're amazing.

37:48 Adam Well, the point is, you're going 80 miles an hour, you're in some sort of inverted roll. There's a small part of your brain that understands you paid admission and you strapped yourself in and doing it. But there's a larger part of your body, the muscles, the fiber, the neurons that are firing and stuff that think your car is rolling off an overpass and you're going into a lake. You know, it's like, your body tenses up, your body thinks, your body feels like it's being thrown over a cliff.

38:22 Drew Your body thinks it's going over the cliff, yeah. The old aging brain gets disoriented, so you can't reorient, you can't go, oh no, I'll just fixate on this spot. It's like, I don't know where the hell I am, I don't even forget what I'm using for.

38:34 Adam I'm not sure if it's a good idea for your body to think it's being killed, because that's what it is. This is what roller coasters are. We want to try to convince every part of you below your chin that it is dying. And it's not a slow and grateful death. It's not... You're not in bed with your loving wife of 40 years and your dog. No, your car's going off a cliff is basically what your body thinks.

39:04 Drew But we had a blast anyway. All right. Brought it back. I had to educate my whole family to the history of the boysenberry, which you educated me about.

39:12 Adam That's very funny.

39:13 Drew And their question was, how did Adam know that?

39:16 Adam Adam knows because he didn't waste all his precious time in college. He looked around, kids. He didn't let the man force feed him his ideology. He left his mind open so it could think. See what I'm saying? Let me tell you something about your mind, Drew. Your mind's like one of those cars at Disneyland over at the Autotopia. It thinks it's driving, but it's really just a bolt and a round wheel that you just spin around as many times as you want. It's just going. It thinks. Whereas me, I'm a full blown bumper car, my friend. Yeah.

39:52 Drew I was thinking about you this weekend, too. I was reading some stuff about IQ testing and stuff, and they were making a huge point about how...

39:57 Adam Big 93.

39:58 Drew Yeah.

39:59 Adam Big 93.

39:59 Drew And they're making a huge point about testing like that does not screen for exceptionality. That if you are exceptional, you can feel good about this, Adam, it will not pick you up.

40:10 Adam Oh, really? But how about the fact that you can't be singled out and punished? You can't pick up... How about being picked up in the nuts?

40:15 Drew You can't pick you up, pick up genius.

40:17 Adam Aha.

40:17 Drew So there you go.

40:19 Adam I've been crowing this from the highest mountains since I took that test.

40:22 Drew So I'll take my 140 IQ and head on out.

40:24 Adam That's right. You head on out to Disneyland. Let the geniuses stay home and create or beat off and nap. Let's take a little break.

40:32 Drew That would be the other thing the geniuses I guess like to do if you're a representative.

40:35 Adam That's how I charge my batteries. We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back.

40:42 Drew Hello?

41:02 Adam It's Loveline! Madam, that's Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. All righty.

41:10 Drew Adam, there's no teacher-like experience.

41:12 Adam That's right. Ron Perlman, hell boy, in here tomorrow night. Then the great race car driver, Paul Tracy, will be on Wednesday night, talking about that Toyota Grand Prix of Long Beach, no doubt.

41:25 Drew Oh, you were not invited back this year? Wow. I guess it was, I don't know what it might have been.

41:35 Adam Well, let me explain something, Drew, how dare you. The only way you get to come back and race two years in a row is if you won the previous year.

41:46 Drew Really?

41:47 Adam And-

41:47 Drew I assume that there are some names there that kept showing up year in and year out.

41:51 Adam There are names that show up every other year. And I'd have to look into it. This is what they said. I didn't ask this year, but they said at the beginning of our year last year when I did the celebrity race, the winner gets, the pro winner and the celebrity winner get to come back and everyone else gets rotated. I would imagine there's plenty of years when they get a little desperate and go ahead and flex that rule because look, who cares? And you gotta get, what's his name? The buddy from Fresh Prince in there.

42:24 Drew Yeah.

42:25 Adam What the hell's Alfonso Ribeiro?

42:27 Drew He won a few years in a row.

42:28 Adam What? Okay, he's got a name like a Formula One driver. Ha, ha. All right. Let's see, he had an abortion.

42:35 Drew Let's check this out.

42:36 Adam Had an at-home abortion?

42:37 Drew I wanna find out what that means.

42:39 Adam Allison?

42:40 Yeah?

42:41 Adam You're 17?

42:43 Caller Yes.

42:43 Adam You had an at-home abortion?

42:47 Well, I tried.

42:48 Caller You used to.

42:49 Drew What does that mean? What did you do?

42:50 Caller Well, like, when I found out a couple weeks ago that I was pregnant, and I told my best friend, and she said that you can take a coat hanger, and when you cut it, you can stick the long piece up there or something, and she didn't, like, go into details, so.

43:09 Drew Allison, Allison, in the days of yore, when abortions were illegal, that was one of the sort of images that people conjured up as a way of defending the need to make abortions legal, because women that did that routinely died.

43:24 Adam They did?

43:25 Drew So, yes, they bled to death.

43:27 Adam Oh, did they have coat hangers? I thought they only had wooden ones back then.

43:30 Drew And so, back then, it was only 20 years ago. And so, if you are pregnant and you are hell-bent on terminating, you can go anywhere you wish, go to Planned Parenthood, they will give you one, they will pay for it, and they will not tell anybody.

43:45 Adam You know, did you really use a coat hanger? Yes?

43:51 Caller Really, really hard, and it's...

43:52 Adam All right, hold on. How, hold on. How... Chicks can't do this. But how much of that coat hanger did you get in you?

44:01 Caller I didn't get that much in because it just started, because I cut it with a wire hanger so I could get the, a wire cutter thing so I could get the long part.

44:09 Drew So basically, all you do, Allison, is tear your vagina or tear your cervix. You will form infection. You can die. If you forget the bleeding to death, you can get infection in there, get into your abdomen. It is a really super serious situation.

44:23 Adam It would be weird if the kid came out with like a Zorro on his forehead.

44:27 Drew Just call him a Harry Potter.

44:30 Adam Or something horrible and unfortunate.

44:32 Drew And you need to get this taken care of immediately.

44:36 Adam And Allison. You're 17. I worry about you just a little bit.

44:43 Drew A lot.

44:44 Adam A lot.

44:44 Drew Well, I worry about you imminently for what you've done. I worry about the fact that you're having sex and you're not prepared to deal with it. I worry that you're...

44:57 Adam Alright. But I'm worried about the future. Are you doing okay? Are you going to school?

45:03 Caller Yeah. I'm in school.

45:06 Drew Are you doing okay in school?

45:09 Caller I guess I'm okay in school. My parents are really like strict and stuff. So I'm never ever home ever.

45:18 Caller I'm out like every weekend.

45:23 Drew That's what Adam's talking about.

45:25 Adam As long as you're on your way to Yale, that's fine.

45:28 Drew I'm sure they all got blacked out from the audience. But she talked about how screwed up she's getting every weekend.

45:33 Adam Well, she said after that. Come on, everybody. Everyone stop, would you? First off, okay.

45:42 Drew Allison, please get some help. Please get some help.

45:44 Adam Get some help.

45:44 Drew Because also this sounds like addiction underway too.

45:48 Adam Look, here's the thing, everybody. We don't have crystal balls. We just have calendars that go five, eight years into the future. Don't look at it as a crystal ball that we have. Look at it as a magic calendar that we can go ahead, we can go ahead five years, ten years, and see what the things are going to look like. You flip forward a few years with that, Allison. It don't look good.

46:15 Drew I'm not sure the calendar even keeps going.

46:17 Adam Oh, really?

46:18 Drew Yeah.

46:18 Adam May end. Well, she keeps experimenting on herself with coat hanger.

46:23 Drew She's really in a desperate situation. Yeah.

46:28 Adam Take care of it.

46:37 Please. Amelia. So what happened was I was with this guy and we started making out and stuff. I was on top of him. His hand was down, so I thought that he was fingering me. But then I realized that it was his penis and as soon as I found out, I jumped up. But he was like doing it for like 30 seconds. Huh? And I don't think he came because it takes, OK, so like this is the first time that I've ever done anything and I'm so not, I was so not ready for sex and like I was in, you know.

47:22 Adam So you were on top of him.

47:23 Yeah.

47:24 Drew I should say you were not ready. And you couldn't tell the difference between him.

47:28 No, because I've never, I've never been fingered before anything. Like the first time I've done anything with anyone.

47:33 Drew How old was this guy?

47:34 17.

47:35 Drew All right.

47:36 Adam And why are we? OK, well.

47:38 No. And I know that like I thought about this and like I know that like he took advantage of me and everything and like, and like it's not like we were going out or anything.

47:49 Adam All right. You made a mistake.

47:51 Yeah. And I'm just like and I'm scared because like he comes sometimes and I was just like, you know, how about the morning?

47:57 Adam How do you know his his history?

48:02 Because he told me. Oh, well, I can't can't guys feel it.

48:07 Drew But what? I mean, huh? What'd you say?

48:12 Can guys under can you guys know if they come or not?

48:16 Drew No, they don't. Not not usually. Or they know if they have that tendency, but that's like Adam knows he doesn't have that tendency.

48:21 Adam Yeah, it's like it's like asking the guy in line in front of you if he knows he stinks to high heaven. They probably know they don't smell like a bar of Irish Spring, but they have no idea the effect it's having on you.

48:36 Drew So Amelia.

48:38 Adam So here's the thing. This was how long ago? And and soon as you realized it was his penis, I jumped you jumped off and then you did what?

48:49 Caller And like, and I was like, I was just like really shocked. And then he just and then we went home. Like I went home.

48:57 Drew What about the morning after pill? Do you know what that is?

48:59 Caller I know what it is. But like, I don't know, I, I don't have a car or anything. I don't want to tell my parents. I was in New York. Like I was visiting my dad and I met that guy and.

49:14 Adam Horrible. Well, here's the thing. She's not pregnant.

49:16 Drew Let's hope not.

49:17 Caller Like there's not a good chance that I am, right?

49:20 Drew There's not a good chance.

49:21 Adam There's not, not even close to a decent chance that you are.

49:25 Drew Well, there's a chance.

49:26 Adam It doesn't mean it's not impossible. It just means there's not a good chance. And you, you're, you're got in over your head.

49:32 Drew How did you find out it was his penis even?

49:39 Adam It could have been one hand, one penis. Back and see that's what I'll do. Okay. Look, we got to take a break. Amelia, 13. Don't grow up too fast. You learned a good lesson. You reacted. You got yourself in a bad shape and then you reacted accordingly. Be careful. Take it slow. Take a quick break. We'll be right back. I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1-R. Ron Perlman, Hellboy, in here tomorrow night. Number two at the box office. I think it was number one the week before. The kids love the comic books, Drew. I know. I don't know what's up with them. They have no idea what they're doing reading.

51:13 Drew Wow, reading little cartoon squares.

51:19 Adam Yeah, yeah, I don't know.

51:21 Drew Did you see American Xplender ever?

51:25 Adam No.

51:25 Drew With the cartoon, yeah.

51:27 Adam Never saw that, but you know, it's the whole fantasy, fantasy baseball and fantasy football and card collecting and comic book reading and comic book collecting. It just, it.

51:37 Drew You're just not cool, that's all, Adam. Or you're not a nerd.

51:40 Adam I don't know what it is. It involves reading, so I know I'm naturally, you know, sort of repelled to anything that involves text or words, but I just, what the, so you're looking at a card. I don't know. Once you want stuff, you should want a gun when you're a kid. Here's what you should be doing. Here's what you should be focusing on. You've been wanting to shoot stuff and you should be wanting to drive stuff.

52:05 Drew And break stuff, or like destroy stuff.

52:07 Adam And break stuff, destroy stuff. You should start with like, you know, minibikes and then get your way into like go-karts and then work your way into like off-road stuff, motorcycles and doing buggies. This is what you should be looking at. And then you should be wanting to hit stuff with a bat. The whole, sit around looking at the comic book and... What?

52:31 Drew Don't look to me.

52:32 Adam All right. Thomas? You're 17, what's up? Oh, Germany or Florida?

52:37 Caller Yeah, before I start, could I ask you a quick question for Drew? I wanted to know, does somebody have to have the genetic predisposition to become an addict or like an alcoholic? Cause like, I kind of...

52:47 Drew Go ahead. Cause what?

52:48 Caller Why can't I gather that, like, you know, from a lot of stuff you said, it seems like that's what you kind of imply.

52:52 Drew Well, fundamentally, yes. I meet about two new addicts a day on my unit. We have about two new admissions per day. I've been working, I've been running my unit for 14 years. So I've treated about somewhere between seven and 10,000 addicts, and I've only seen one where I couldn't clearly see a genetic history.

53:12 Adam Yeah. But Drew, you're, you're like a religious fanatic with the Bible trying to make, you know, spinning it, making it fit. I mean, I've heard you on the radio before.

53:22 Caller Are you a real doctor or are you a love doctor?

53:24 Adam He's just a love doctor.

53:25 Drew Thanks, Thomas.

53:26 Adam No, well, here's, here's what I'm-

53:27 Caller How do you figure?

53:28 Drew I ask you, if dad or grandparents alcohols or addicts?

53:30 Adam Well, I bet I've seen you do that stuff where, like, did your parents physically abuse you and they say no. And then you say, did they ever strike you? And they say, well, once they spanked me. Cause I, and you go, aha. I'm just saying, if you're looking to make the connection, you'll have a much higher batting average.

53:47 Drew Well, unfortunately, and I think, I understand what you're saying, but the reality is when it comes to things like traumatic upbringings, when it comes to things like parents using substances, people deny it. You have to be like an attorney asking questions, knowing what the answers are. When you find it, it's easily substantiable. So, anyway, be that as it may. So for the most part, let's put it that way.

54:11 Caller Is dependence the same thing?

54:13 Drew No, no. Dependence is what happens late in the game. You start having, you get tolerant, you need more, you have withdrawal if you stop. That happens to all humans. But the non addict will get dependent, will stop, and then won't look back, won't be interested in continuing. The addict will be permanently changed. He will constantly be preoccupied about the drug.

54:34 Adam He's tired of his own question.

54:36 Drew He's 17.

54:37 Caller Germany or Florida?

54:38 Adam All right, time to get down to the important business.

54:40 Caller These are sick and twisted from too much sun and Nazis, sex, meth and death fetishes. Both of them have got these. Guaranteed not to bore ya. Germany or Florida?

54:49 Drew Hey Anderson, didn't you miss that song, By Your Way?

54:53 Yeah, I heard there was a new one. I haven't heard the show yet.

54:55 Adam Oh really? There is?

54:56 Drew No, I don't think there is.

54:58 Adam Somebody said they had one. Oh yeah, but that was a guy who was just scatting. Yeah. He was just like... I was like, huh?

55:21 What was that song, Drew?

55:23 I don't know. I tried it. I listen to every single show that I miss. I have to go back and listen to the show.

55:30 Adam That is brutal.

55:31 Oh, Anderson.

55:32 Adam You can't get some flunky to do that.

55:33 For the next 14 hours of my drive-in existence, I'll be listening to that.

55:37 Brutal, brutal.

55:39 Adam That is brutal. Go ahead, Thomas. All right.

55:42 Caller An obese cat, six times the normal weight, has gone on a hunger strike at an animal shelter after being taken from his owner, who had fed him four pounds of mint daily, the newspaper reported on Saturday.

55:52 Adam Mint?

55:53 Caller Mint.

55:54 Adam Oh, mints.

55:57 Caller The cat, weighing nearly 41 pounds, was brought to the animal shelter on April 1st and was so overweight, he couldn't take more than four steps without becoming exhausted. His elderly owner was at the same time taken to a nursing home. Shelter officials said the six-year-old cat is so fat, he cannot clean himself and suffers from heart trouble. They said he felt lost without his meat-feeding owner and stopped eating altogether when he was put on a diet to gradually lose weight.

56:20 Drew Stopped eating because he didn't need to eat. He stopped eating because he didn't need to eat.

56:26 Adam They say he's meat-feeding owner?

56:28 Caller Yeah, yeah.

56:28 Adam What do they say?

56:29 Drew Mint-feeding.

56:30 Caller It says meat-feeding.

56:32 Adam Does he feed him mints or does he feed him meat or is it minced meat?

56:38 Caller First it says mints and then down here it says meat, so I don't know. Whatever.

56:44 Adam All right, Germany or Florida?

56:46 Caller Florida.

56:46 Adam Hold on a second. First off, I love a morbidly obese animal. I do. It works. It doesn't work on people, but it works on pets. There's nothing like a fat dog, like a big fat lab. You know, like a blonde lab that's like 20 pounds overweight. And, you know, they're fat. They're more jovial. The tails start swagging and they bend in the middle a lot. And yeah, fat animals are usually in a better mood. They're kind of like people. You know, the fat guys have the good sense of humor. Skinny ones are the nasty ones. You know, chihuahuas are always mean and nasty. I like a fat, and a fat cat is nice too. There's nothing worse than a bony cat. Look at a nice big fat cat. It's good at everything. Polar bears, everything is just better. Fish, it's all better when they're fat. And then everyone's like, well, the dog will die two years earlier. You get another one. I mean, you know, if you do the math, you know, you live to 80, dog lives to 14. You're going to have five of them anyway. So you have six.

57:49 Drew I think they're not just thinking about themselves as it pertains to the dog. They might be trying to protect the dog's well-being.

57:54 Adam Let me explain something about the dog.

57:56 Drew Please.

57:58 Adam Dog would much rather eat all those table scraps and have himself a good old time and not exercising and gorging on a fatty meat and go 18 months earlier. Ask any dog, dog will tell you the answer. He's at the edge of the table. He knows what he wants.

58:16 Drew Yeah.

58:17 Adam I don't know. It's weird when people get in and they get special diets for their dogs and stuff like that. And leave them a little fat. I like that. All right, you're going Florida?

58:26 Drew Yeah. Although the fact that the translation, the meats and the mints might indicate German.

58:32 Adam Ooh, there's a town in Germany called Mints. Maybe that's Mints. I pronounce it Mints. Okay, here's the point. I think that's a very crucial and interesting point with the mints and the meat feeding. I'm going, I'm going Germany now.

58:48 Drew All right, there you go.

58:49 Adam And I actually may have gone Germany anyway because it's a weird thing to feed a cat. All right, we're going Germany, yes?

58:55 Drew Yes.

58:56 Adam Is that your final answer? Germany.

58:58 All right, yeah, that's right.

59:03 Adam Oh man, are we good. All right. All right, buddy. All right, thanks. All right, try next time.

59:09 Drew They're good times.

59:10 Adam Good times. Yeah, there was a translation problem with the mince and the meat. Cat wouldn't eat mince.

59:17 Drew Doesn't seem like it.

59:19 Adam The cat's not gonna eat tic tacs.

59:21 Drew Cat just eats meat, that's all they eat.

59:23 Adam Yeah, you get them to eat other protein forms like, you know, milk and eggs and that kind of stuff. But they'll lick a pizza or something just because it's got cheese on it, but they're not gonna eat hard candies.

59:33 Drew No.

59:34 Adam Okay, there's meat, mince. Jennifer?

59:40 Drew Yes?

59:40 Adam 27? What's happening, baby doll? Nothing, how are you? You know what I like about fat cats, Drew? You can make them sit down, like in your lap. You know what I mean? They actually sort of sit. They sit like beanbags, you know? They become bottom heavy. They just, they're sort of, they're more docile, you know? Like a thin cat's like sort of wiry and always trying to get away.

1:00:05 Drew We had a thin cat got eaten by a bobcat, but that cat, Sorry. I know, is that nice? But that cat would eat so much. I mean, he was like bottomless. It would never gain a pound.

1:00:16 Adam No, it was smoking crack.

1:00:19 Drew He seemed that way.

1:00:20 Adam The fat cat, you pull up on your lap, you sit him down like a human being and he ends up sitting like a panda bear.

1:00:26 Drew You kind of plop him down.

1:00:27 Adam You kind of plop him down and you move him around. Eat my bobcat.

1:00:30 Drew Yeah, and you know that story.

1:00:32 Adam I know, but did you, oh yeah, he got mortally wounded by it.

1:00:35 Drew Yeah, my wife had to face off with the bobcat in the middle of the night. It was crazy, I went out in the backyard with a broomstick and a kitchen knife.

1:00:41 Adam That's a draw, Drew, I got news for you. That is a draw. That's even money. Your wife's quite a bobcat herself. She's a tough lady. That's what I'm talking about. Okay, so the cat was wounded by the bobcat and made it back in, but no, oh no, no, you found out. You tried it back then and then you found out it was gonna be like 2,800 bucks and...

1:01:03 Drew It was just going bad. We would don't know. We kept them alive for several days.

1:01:09 Adam Jennifer?

1:01:10 Caller Yes.

1:01:11 Adam Go ahead, you're 27.

1:01:16 Caller I just got married about a month ago and well before that I found out that my fiance at the time had, he's got a lingerie fetish.

1:01:29 Drew Lingerie fetish, what does that mean? What does that mean?

1:01:33 Caller It means he likes to put on bras and panties.

1:01:36 Drew He, so he's not, that's not a lingerie fetish. He's a cross-dresser. Lingerie fetish would mean he likes you to wear it.

1:01:44 Adam Oh, yeah, but that just sort of makes him a dude, you know.

1:01:47 Drew Yeah, but he, you know.

1:01:49 Adam Yeah, okay, I'm with you. Well, lucky. Something to blow.

1:01:54 Drew No, no, the fact that he likes to wear underwear doesn't make him a dude. What would make him a dude would be him requiring you to wear lingerie. Right, right. It would be sort of an average kind of a thing, even though guys are not into that particularly, really.

1:02:08 Adam Not as much as Victoria's Secret would that lead you to believe.

1:02:12 Drew No, because they don't lead a man to believe anything. All they're showing men is models they like.

1:02:17 Adam Well, let's put it this way. If one of those Victoria's Secret angel models was strutting around at the foot of your bed, you couldn't get her out of that goddamn bra fast enough. That's the point.

1:02:28 Drew They're selling it to women.

1:02:29 Adam Get going.

1:02:30 Drew But they're leading women to believe that men like the lingerie because of who's wearing it.

1:02:35 Adam Yeah, we don't have a problem with the lingerie. We don't mind it. It's fine. It's a little bit of a push. It's more the super smoking hot Swedish chick who's in the bra and panties. I can think of plenty of women that we would not like to see in the same bra and panties. If our mom being at the top of the list and then moving its way down to co-workers, family members, the list goes on and on. Probably 99% of the population, the female population, we would not want to see in that particular bra and panty if you really think about it.

1:03:12 Drew There's the irony. The only ones you would want to see in it are the ones who you immediately want out of it anyway.

1:03:17 Adam Yeah, I mean, look, if you just go walk around, yeah, Drew, eh, you're right. I don't know. You said one of the sopranos all of a sudden?

1:03:26 Drew What I'm talking about.

1:03:27 Adam All I'm saying is go walk up and down the street, see if nine out of 10 women you see you don't want to see in those panties. You know what I mean? It's gonna be at least nine. You're gonna pass one about every 50 chicks who you say, wouldn't mind getting a look at her in that. All right, anyway, what the hell are we talking about? So he, you didn't know this about him before you got married?

1:03:55 Caller No, I did. I did.

1:03:56 Drew You did? Has it gotten more pervasive, more prominent as a fetish? That's where the fetishes go. They kind of take over.

1:04:06 Adam And you pulled the trigger anyway on the whole marriage thing.

1:04:13 Caller I don't want to lose him because of it obviously, but it's something that just, he wants me to be turned on by it, but it's just not happening.

1:04:23 Adam How about you put a strap-on on and a wind-up beanie and tell him you'd like him to be turned on?

1:04:30 Caller I suggested that and he said we could try, but I don't really want to do that myself, so.

1:04:34 Drew You suggested the wind-up beanie?

1:04:36 Adam No, not the strap-on.

1:04:37 Drew The strap-on.

1:04:38 Caller The strap-on, and it was kind of like a sidewards comment, just as a joke to see what he'd say, but.

1:04:44 Drew You a Mormon? And what did he say? She's confused by her first question.

1:04:49 Adam He said what? What'd he say about the strap-on? Let me convene with Drew for a second.

1:04:57 Drew Jennifer sounds smart. Strangely enough.

1:05:00 Adam Smart for one of our callers, which makes her just mildly dumb. Okay, so, here's the thing. Hey, we could try the strap-on mixed with, I gotta wear the lingerie, start making me a little nervous about the guy's sexual proclivity.

1:05:16 Drew The fact that he was willing to try the strap-on. Now, I think his thing is, I don't know, you may be right, but it sounds like he just needs her so badly to be in his fetish realm with her. He's willing to let her do whatever she wants to do.

1:05:31 Adam So Jennifer. Would he wear a women's lingerie, let's say under his clothing and go to work?

1:05:38 Caller No, I don't think so.

1:05:39 Drew It's just during a sexual act with you.

1:05:41 Caller Right. I think his whole thing is he always, the whole scenario always starts off with, he wants me to catch him in the act of wearing it. It's like the embarrassment part.

1:05:53 Adam And how it's like the shame part.

1:05:56 Caller Exactly.

1:05:56 Adam And so how-

1:05:58 Drew The way mommy caught him when he was four.

1:05:59 Caller I blame his mother. Because she's very domineering and very aggressive.

1:06:09 Adam So his scenario, his ideal scenario, sexual scenario would work out how?

1:06:16 Caller His ideal scenario would work out. He would be in a room with the lingerie on, probably watching a poor note, and I walk in on him like coming home from work or something. And-

1:06:28 Drew And then you would find that arousing.

1:06:31 Caller Right.

1:06:31 Drew Right, that he would need that to be worth-

1:06:33 Adam First you would, first there would be some shock and a little shame and then arousal.

1:06:38 Caller Exactly. That would be the initial shock and then-

1:06:42 Drew Have you been acting this fantasy out with him?

1:06:44 Caller We've done it once or twice, and I kind of act my way through it, but it just-

1:06:50 Drew It probably feels sort of weird and disgustingly.

1:06:53 Caller He's a very masculine man, and to see him that way just kind of takes away some of that.

1:06:57 Adam Yeah, yeah. Jennifer, you have the flexibility of taffy to be able to go along with this, because most women really couldn't. Yes, I agree with Drew. You're an intelligent person. You're in love with the guy.

1:07:13 Drew Get him some therapy, please.

1:07:14 Adam Yes, therapy.

1:07:14 Drew Get him some therapy.

1:07:15 Adam And not- And- The therapy isn't, hey, thong back, get some therapy. It's more like you got issues with domineering mom. Focus on mom, go to therapy.

1:07:25 Drew And realize that the fetish diminishes intimacy, and you're feeling that vividly. It's like you get kind of weirded out and disgusted. His sort of, who he is is diminished by it in your eyes, which is kind of what he wants. It's just a lot of craziness.

1:07:38 Adam How does this work? I mean, I don't know. I feel like your position has changed on this a little bit over the years.

1:07:47 Drew Me?

1:07:47 Adam Now I'm talking to Chris, the engineer.

1:07:49 Drew My position has changed. I'm listening.

1:07:51 Adam Meaning maybe our position. Like at a certain point, we're like, well, you just do the fetish and you sort of contain it. And, you know, what goes on in the bedroom behind closed doors is your business kind of thing.

1:08:05 Drew I think it depends on the fetish and how much it's overtaking.

1:08:08 Adam I'm starting to think that we're feeling like this is almost like as if a person said, look, I got to be high to make love.

1:08:15 Drew Yes.

1:08:16 Adam And in which case you would say, well, that something's got to be done about that. Not go ahead and get high every time you make love.

1:08:23 Drew The other side, if he said, on a special occasion once a year, I want to do that, as long as you're okay, the rest of the time, it's sort of able to be intimate. But if you're not, then you need the fetish or the fetish is affecting the intimacy, then no.

1:08:35 Adam So I start, I'm starting to think because of these calls we've heard that these things have a certain momentum.

1:08:41 Drew Oh yeah.

1:08:41 Adam And that once they get just a little water and some fertilizer, they start to take over.

1:08:47 Drew A little house of terror, a little house of horrors.

1:08:49 Adam Right, a little shop.

1:08:50 Drew A little shop of horrors.

1:08:50 Adam Right, so instead of saying, well, it's your birthday, I'll let you put on the stiletto heels in the backless panties. Instead, maybe you should say, no, no, this is a horse we're keeping in the barn.

1:09:04 Drew Yeah, and if it has to come out, maybe we gotta look into things first.

1:09:09 Adam Yes, all right, where are we going?

1:09:11 Drew I guess, let's think about it one quick second, but what if both of them had something gratifying out of it?

1:09:16 Adam I think if both of them have something that's gratifying about it and it doesn't involve strangulation or some sort of branding with a hot brand, a poker or something.

1:09:28 Drew Just those two things.

1:09:29 Adam Yeah, if it doesn't involve doing any potential damage to anybody and they're able to sort of contain it, then so be it, although we both know that that one's gonna spin out just a little bit too.

1:09:41 Drew Because again, as we've always said, they don't occur as an isolated phenomenon.

1:09:45 Adam Right, all right, someone's been on hold for 103 minutes.

1:09:48 Drew All right.

1:09:48 Adam 12-year-old for the love of Christ, Drew. Anna?

1:09:52 Caller Hey.

1:09:53 Adam Hey, Anna. You're 12. Calling from St. Louis.

1:09:59 Caller Yeah, St. Louis.

1:10:00 Adam Is that two-hour time difference?

1:10:02 Caller Oh, probably, yeah.

1:10:04 Adam Yeah, listen, I didn't even know. I was telling Drew this, I was 30, I didn't know if New York was three hours ahead or behind. Like, time differences, I couldn't get out of, here's my, I went from North Hollywood to Van Nuys to Valley Village, those are like my three, you know, as far as I got.

1:10:21 Caller Oh, nice.

1:10:22 Adam No idea what the central and eastern and mountain.

1:10:26 Caller All right, well, I don't blame you, I don't know that like the other time zones, I'm really confused about that.

1:10:31 Adam I know, you're 12, you'll be 13 and a half and you'll know, I was 30.

1:10:35 Drew What's up?

1:10:36 Caller Yeah.

1:10:37 Drew What's up?

1:10:39 Caller Well, I'm bulimic and there's like all of these people trying to help me and my parents, my parents are real nice and caring about this stuff and they're like, give, take me to therapy, but the therapists, they like get on my nerves so much.

1:10:59 Drew What, why, why?

1:11:00 Caller Well, they just push it so much.

1:11:03 Caller I push what?

1:11:04 Caller Like the issues that I have, like people in my class, they think that they used to be all my friends, they used to be pretty popular and, but then they say-

1:11:14 Adam Now believe me, it's throwing up, right? Or am I screwing this up again?

1:11:17 Drew The binging and purging.

1:11:18 Caller Yeah, binging.

1:11:19 Caller Yeah, you binge a lot and then you purge and it's like this cycle and then once you purge, you feel bad and then you binge again. Yeah, it's weird. And so like, oh, okay, you want to speak?

1:11:31 Adam Well, no, I'm just-

1:11:32 Drew No, I'm proud of so, she has to be so perfect for everybody.

1:11:35 Adam Yeah, what's up? Your parents, are they doctors and attorneys or something?

1:11:38 Caller No, no, no, no, they're, my mom doesn't work and my dad's a lawyer.

1:11:42 Drew That would be an attorney.

1:11:45 Adam That would be an attorney, right? I mean, look, that could have got half a no, but it didn't get, didn't need three nos. Oh, no, lawyer, no, no. He's an attorney. Oh, baby doll, 12 going on, 15. I don't want to go nuts, you know, with the 25, you know.

1:12:06 Caller Yeah, yeah.

1:12:08 Adam All right, so your dad's an attorney. See, attorneys, they put a lot of pressure on the people they live with, you know.

1:12:14 Caller They do, they're really kind of bothersome. My dad, like, he'll try to butt in on therapy. Like, I'll be talking with my therapist while I'm like half screaming at her, kind of cursing sometimes. And like, he'll butt in saying, is everything all right? And then they'll like try to check on me and like examine me. And when they get home, he'll be like, Anna, why were you yelling and all that crap.

1:12:37 Adam Yeah, well, look, he's a, here's Brown with attorneys. Hold on a second, who's worse, attorneys or publicists in terms of entitlement? Like attorneys, attorneys, well, they don't have, attorneys think they're the smartest person in the room, wherever they are, they think they're the effing smartest person in the room. And they think, because their whole thing is like, well, it's not really about being right, just about being able to talk someone else out of something or talk a third person into agreeing with me. It's not really about who did what or who's right or who deserves this or what anyone deserves. I'm a genius, that's it. And then whereas the publicists just have this horrible, huge sense of entitlement where they think they are the celebrity that they're representing. That's it, but they're both horrible, wretched, wretched, wretched people. But the point is is attorneys will give their kids eating disorders, I think. And in general disorders, maybe more so than any profession. I would say publicists, but they're all gay, so they don't have children.

1:13:35 Drew Well, the experience I have sometimes with attorneys is because their geniuses' emotions and emotional process don't exist, as far as they're concerned. If you try to educate them, it's rejected outright. That's Hocus Pocus, how dare you.

1:13:48 Adam All right, baby doll.

1:13:49 Caller If my dad heard you, he'd be going crazy right now. He'd grab you for another five months.

1:13:56 Adam Listen, you're 12 years old. And you want us to cut you some slack for being 12. How about you cut yourself some slack for being 12 and start being 12?

1:14:09 Drew And give your therapist some slack too. I mean, this is a treatable condition. It's a chronic condition, but it's a serious condition and you can die from it. So the fact your parents are taking you to therapy is a very positive thing. The fact they're participating is positive.

1:14:21 Adam Your dad's not the world's greatest guy, but listen to the show for 10 minutes. Most dads aren't even in the picture.

1:14:29 Drew Right, you should be very pleased your dad is not only in the picture, but is supporting the treatment and paying for the treatment. And eating disorder treatment is a cumbersome process. It takes multiple people over long periods of time. And go ahead and cooperate with them. They're not doing it, the things they're saying, the recommendations they're making are not sort of casual. It's not just by way of sort of amusing themselves. These are really serious issues that they are trying to help you manage.

1:14:56 Adam Let them help you.

1:14:57 Drew Yes.

1:14:57 Adam All right, we'll take a quick break. We'll be right back.

1:15:00 Caller Okay, so I know there's nothing wrong with me. So what's up?

1:15:07 But I tried everything else and thought, what the hell?

1:15:15 877-889-DATE.

1:15:58 Adam All right, now, Dave, is that what?

1:16:06 I can tell you, but I have to kill you. So, I'm saying to Dr. Drew, you know, I'm draining the main fame.

1:16:30 Adam Seven, seven, 722, that's 22 after seven. And the weather traffic coming up. Blah, blah, Skinner Super Set.

1:16:45 Caller Hello, hello, Hi, I'm the forgettable man, Drabba Dabba, the Scribes rap. We're trying to get Dave over there, line two is upset and about the other day. I was like, 17, I was hobbling over the seven. Multiple hobbling over the seven. You catch them all. I was like, seven, 24, 24 after seven. Let's see if can catch them all. Weather traffic coming up. I was just having a little, anyway, Dave.

1:17:36 Adam I was having a little bit of a story.

1:17:38 Caller 17 years old and I'm walking over the seven. Now, I'm 17, imagine me and I'm hobbling over the seven. And I'm looking around this place and I'm looking over the gas, 24, seven, 26, 26 after seven. And I'm saying to myself, hey, hobbling over the seven. And I'm thinking, hobbling over the seven. You ever have those days when your mouth says, hobbling over the seven, but your brain's going, hobbling over the seven.

1:18:05 Adam Seven, 27, 27 after seven. Weather, traffic coming up, news coming up.

1:18:12 Caller You know what I mean? You're thinking, some of them, some of them. But your mouth says, have all seven.

1:18:21 Adam Seven, 28, 20 after seven.

1:18:24 Caller Get back with Dave. You ready to hop back on the phone with them? Nobody wants to hear it. Let me tell you something about it. No, no, no. Please tell you about it, what that engineer Anderson. No, because he says, blah, blah. And you know, when you see him in person, he's like, hey, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so. But then soon as you turn your back on the guy, it's like, blah. You know what I mean? Where's, you know, blah. And I'm always like, hey, Chris, blah. These two face, Drew, do you know what I'm saying by two face? When he's in the room with you, he's like, hey, it's Adam Carolla, it's Adam Loverlilla. But soon as you know he's hanging out with his buddies, drinking a beer like, hey, what do you think, Adam Carolla? Adam Corolla gets my, it's Adam Loverlilla.

1:19:52 Very close, you're really close.

1:19:54 Caller 731 is 31 after 731.

1:20:04 Adam Oh my God.

1:20:05 Drew That is radio, man, that is radio.

1:20:06 Adam That's good radio, though.

1:20:07 Drew That's great, that's what I listen to. They train you to do that, right? That's how you train, remember, broadcasters. Broadcasters is cool.

1:20:13 Dave? Yeah, am I on the line now?

1:20:15 Drew Yeah, you're on, yeah, it's good.

1:20:16 Oh, okay, wait.

1:20:17 Adam So, it's just Anderson was talking smack.

1:20:20 I wanna start off by saying, Adam, you are a genius comedian. I don't mean to get any arse, but, you know.

1:20:25 Drew Thank you.

1:20:26 I can credit where credit is due.

1:20:27 Adam Thank you.

1:20:27 Drew, you're pretty smart, I'll give you that. Well, as far as my situation, my girlfriend tends to claim that she has on average about three till a max of about five orgasms during sex. And I'm not, you know, I'm above average, but I'm not gigantic, and.

1:20:46 Drew No, that would have nothing to do with it.

1:20:48 Well, I mean, if, I was just wondering, as far as you guys are concerned, cause you know, my friends.

1:20:54 Adam I don't believe them.

1:20:55 Their girlfriend has, you know, orgasms, maybe one every 10 times during sex. And I look her straight in the face.

1:21:02 Adam No.

1:21:03 Drew Let's put on hold. Let's bring it up. I put a hold.

1:21:06 Adam Dave, bogus, bogus.

1:21:09 Drew Anyway, a bit to hold. Here's the deal.

1:21:16 Adam Hold on a sec. I've seen Drew punch the mic before, like every goddamn night. But this was a right hook to the body, fall to the left uppercut.

1:21:25 Drew This is two, two. That's a two-pronged attack. Two-pronged attack, yeah. Here's the deal. As we've often discussed, is that most women in their late teens and early twenties do not have orgasm during intercourse, though there's a subset of about 10% or less that have multiple orgasm or ruin it for the rest, and have somewhere between three and like 20. Some of them will orgasm repeatedly during intercourse, and some have like a couple or three, which seems to be Dave's girlfriend, alleged girlfriend. So there's this huge diversity of how women respond during sex, and most women throughout their life will not have orgasm during intercourse, will only have it with some sort of direct stimulation. And no one really discusses this except this show, strangely enough. And then women that have multiple orgasms thinks that their friends that have difficulty of orgasm are somehow lying about it, or like not telling the truth, or ashamed to talk about it. And the ones that don't have an orgasm or don't master it, because it just doesn't work, doesn't do anything for them. And we don't help those girls along to how to ultimately function sexually in their relationships. It's ridiculous.

1:22:30 Adam So what do we do?

1:22:32 Drew We help, I think they just help women communicate amongst themselves and build a language that they can use amongst themselves to support when they're explaining things one another about what they know.

1:22:42 Adam Oh God, Sally's gonna say, Subba la. And then Cindy's gonna reply, Subba la. And then Cindy's gonna say, well I have a multiple, Subba la. That's what it's gonna sound like, Drew.

1:22:57 Yeah, probably. Yeah, there you go.

1:23:01 Adam Avia, is that a V out there? Avia? Avia. You're 15? What's up?

1:23:14 Caller So you wanna know my questions?

1:23:15 Drew That'll be good.

1:23:17 Caller I have two of them. Well, yesterday I lost my virginity. And, well, the first one is, I wanna know when the reality will sink in.

1:23:29 Drew The reality of what?

1:23:31 Caller Of losing it, like I still can't believe it.

1:23:35 Drew You're in denial of it.

1:23:36 Caller Well, not in denial, just like kind of shocking.

1:23:39 Adam All right, well, was it traumatic?

1:23:41 Caller No.

1:23:42 Adam Okay, well, reality sunk in.

1:23:45 Caller Do you know when it will?

1:23:47 Adam Yeah, May of 2021.

1:23:50 Caller No, I mean, like, I don't know, just.

1:23:53 Drew The fact that you are dissociative, you dissociate from the experience to the point where you cannot accept it as something that actually happened.

1:24:00 Adam Yeah, it's a bad sign.

1:24:01 Drew Yeah, it's not a good sign. It means you're not ready for this. I would say slow down, chalk this one up to some sort of experience, put it on the shelf for a little while, realize you did it, and just hang out for a couple of years here and wait till you really are quite a bit older and have a stable relationship and then think about doing it again.

1:24:17 Adam Who'd you do this with?

1:24:18 Caller My boyfriend.

1:24:20 Adam Oh, how long have you guys been going out?

1:24:22 Caller Three months.

1:24:23 Drew How old is he?

1:24:23 Caller 15.

1:24:26 Drew He kinda got forced into it, huh? But I mean, he really pushed you.

1:24:32 Caller Not really, he just asked a few times.

1:24:36 Drew And begged, and begged, and begged.

1:24:37 Caller Yeah.

1:24:38 Drew Yeah, okay. Well, that's what we're talking about.

1:24:40 Adam All right.

1:24:40 Drew I know he didn't mean, he didn't want to violate you or make you feel pushed into something. Of course, you know, he's a good guy. I understand.

1:24:46 Adam Yeah, but how do you, once you sort of, you know, puncture a hole in the membrane that, well, let's look at the hymen, use that as a little bit of a metaphor. Let's look at that hymen as more of just a dam that you've now backed your car into and punctured a hole into it. And water's just coming out.

1:25:11 Drew Yeah, yeah.

1:25:12 Adam It's really hard to stop that water now.

1:25:14 Drew Well, it's hard for the guy. It's not so hard for the woman.

1:25:17 Adam Well, that's true, but it makes it hard for the woman because it makes it so hard for the guy that he won't leave her alone.

1:25:23 Drew But he already wouldn't leave her alone. You know what I'm saying?

1:25:26 Adam I'm just saying it is.

1:25:27 Drew I understand. Now they're gonna be tied together in a way that-

1:25:30 Adam Can you stop? I mean, can you not have sex with him anymore?

1:25:37 Drew It'll be smart. The kinds of feelings you're gonna have, the kind of way you're gonna be connected to him is gonna be overly intense for 15, I would say. And maybe you're ready for it, maybe you're not. It sounds like you're not, just the way you're reacting to it.

1:25:49 Adam You know, the problem with guys, really, is the first experience for the girl is usually so underwhelming.

1:25:57 Drew Marginal, yeah.

1:25:58 Adam So marginal at best that it becomes like a bad restaurant that your boyfriend keeps wanting you to go back to. And you're like, listen, I threw up last time I went there. Come on, let's go try it again. And you're like, it's got a D rating out front of it.

1:26:14 Drew Please, please, my favorite.

1:26:15 Oh, please, I'd like a lot more of that, please.

1:26:18 Adam Let's get some drive thrower or something.

1:26:19 Drew And then he gets moody and irritable if he has to go.

1:26:22 Adam Right, right. But you know what I mean? It's like, you don't wanna go back to a restaurant you had a bad experience at, you know? And guys could never figure this out. But if they, A, you know, they just gave the chick a nice 20-minute back rub and said, oh no, this is all part of the package. This is what intercourse is. It starts off with 20-minute back rub.

1:26:48 Drew They can't do it.

1:26:49 Adam Then it's 10 minutes of just compliments about your nails. And then it's into a good 20 minutes of oral sex.

1:26:56 Drew That's actually a good point that we don't teach the guys what the women, because all we teach guys is that they're the same. That what the girl wants is what you want.

1:27:05 Adam Meanwhile, you got some guy with a pizza face retainer. He's all knees and elbows. He's on top of you, basically having a seizure. And you're supposed to go running back for seconds for that. Get that massage in. You know what I mean? Now you dangle a little carrot out there in that stick.

1:27:26 Drew At least there's something in it for them.

1:27:27 Adam Yeah.

1:27:28 Drew Have a good time.

1:27:29 Adam Let's take a break.

1:27:30 Drew Zalda za.

1:27:32 Adam We'll be right back after this. Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. Hellboy Ron Perlman in here tomorrow night. We'll talk to him about that. And let's go to phones now and speak to Zack, who's 17. Zack. Hey, how you doing? Zack's been on hold for 112 minutes. Yeah, buddy. You have a fear of girls. Yeah. But here's the thing. Let me ask this to my colleague, Dr. Drew, when he's done yawning. When you have a fear of women, aren't you sort of generally a shy person?

1:28:47 Drew I think usually it boils down.

1:28:49 Adam You're the captain of the speech and debate team. Although, I mean, every 17-year-old guy has trouble with women.

1:28:54 Drew Well, what you're building a case for is of a social phobia. There's either a problem with social skills or an actual social phobia.

1:29:02 Adam Yeah.

1:29:03 Drew I also generally feel that more often than not, there's fundamental issues of self-esteem.

1:29:08 Adam Yes.

1:29:08 Drew At the problem here.

1:29:10 Adam Absolutely. Zach?

1:29:14 I don't know. I can't even breathe around them.

1:29:16 Adam Okay. Well, how are you when you're not around women? Are you doing okay in school?

1:29:23 Drew No.

1:29:24 Adam No. Do you have friends? A few.

1:29:29 Drew Why is that funny?

1:29:30 Adam Troublemakers?

1:29:32 Caller No, not really. No. They're good guys.

1:29:40 Adam And what's wrong with you in school? Why aren't you doing well?

1:29:44 Caller I try, but I turn everything in, but I just get bad grades and I don't...

1:29:49 Adam That's what I would do. It's like, you're not being that, you're just not that smart for school. That's your thing. So here's the thing. The best way to get confidence with women is to get confidence in general, which means doing something well, you know?

1:30:08 Drew That you feel good about, that you have worth because of.

1:30:11 Adam It could be sports, it could be art, it could be acting. It could be playing an instrument. It could be anything other than being a good person. They'll turn on you. Is there anything you like, Zach, that you're good at?

1:30:24 Caller Basketball.

1:30:26 Adam Basketball.

1:30:27 Caller There you go.

1:30:27 Adam Now, can you play for the team at school?

1:30:30 Caller No, there's a bunch of black dudes and they're all really good.

1:30:34 Drew So you're not good enough to play.

1:30:35 Adam So you're not good, you just like it.

1:30:37 Caller Oh yeah.

1:30:40 Adam Well, what about something you excel at?

1:30:43 Caller Oh no.

1:30:44 Adam Okay.

1:30:45 Drew How about finding something you excel at? You feel very passionate about something you're into.

1:30:49 Adam I mean, here's the whole thing, fellas. If you're not good with the ladies, do not sit around and focus on not being good with the ladies. Focus on being good with everything else and the ladies will magically find you or at least it'll work its way out. Right. Which is, all right, you're not doing good with the ladies. Good. Focus on your career. Right. Focus on school. Focus on your hobbies. Focus on getting good at something because really that's what women are looking for. And people think, oh women, oh they like the rich guy. They like the rock star. They like the actor. No, they just like guys that are good at stuff that are doing their own stuff and not focusing on them, quite honestly.

1:31:29 Drew Right.

1:31:29 Adam There's nothing more attractive than a guy who's just focusing on his career, his life, his muse, his art, his school, his whatever. And then they just see you busily working away. You just focusing on them just makes it worse.

1:31:43 Drew Right, it makes you feel, I mean, like you've said, they want somebody to sort of make them feel safe and lead and that kind of thing oftentimes.

1:31:50 Adam Yeah, I think they also like the idea that somebody, they like not being noticed to a certain extent, to a certain level.

1:31:57 Drew Well, they don't want to take care of somebody. They want to be taken care of many times.

1:32:00 Adam What I'm saying is, is there's nothing better than a woman spotting a guy before the guy spots the woman and then the woman spotting a guy when he's immersed in something that he's into.

1:32:13 Drew True.

1:32:13 Adam Working out, playing his instrument, whatever's cool to them.

1:32:18 Drew Yep, you're right.

1:32:19 Adam For me, it'd be napping.

1:32:21 Drew Oh yeah, they'd spot that in a second.

1:32:22 Adam They see the passion.

1:32:23 Drew With which you.

1:32:24 Adam With which, the vigor and the verve in which I nap. Oh yes.

1:32:30 Drew And Zach, there are medic, if you really have, it cannot function socially, there are medications also that can sometimes help you get over the hump, so to speak.

1:32:38 Adam Jennifer.

1:32:39 Caller Yeah.

1:32:40 Adam You're 18?

1:32:41 Caller Yeah.

1:32:42 Adam What's up?

1:32:48 Caller And I kind of wanted to know like if it was because of like my surroundings or if it was just a mental thing.

1:32:56 Drew Because you're, Well a mental thing is usually because of your surroundings. What happened in your surroundings?

1:33:01 Caller I would hear my parents having sex like in the room over, well not my parents, but my mom and her boyfriend.

1:33:07 Adam Yes.

1:33:08 Drew Yeah, that can mess with you a little bit.

1:33:10 Adam They were, they, they were over you, you were downstairs, they were upstairs.

1:33:14 Caller They were next door to me.

1:33:17 Adam Yeah. It's worse you put the word stairs in there. That's bad times.

1:33:23 Drew See when, when kids get overtly sexualized at a young age, it kind of affects their wiring a little bit. So.

1:33:29 Adam I think I, you know, we always lived in like 800 square foot dumps. So I think, but then my parents had the decency never to get laid.

1:33:37 Drew Right.

1:33:38 Adam So it sort of worked its way out.

1:33:39 Drew Right. You're lucky, you thought you were, you thought you were miserable.

1:33:44 Adam I heard when I was in one of my dad's crappy North Hollywood apartments, I heard a woman get the bejesus banged out of her all night.

1:33:52 Drew And it's not by the neighbors or something?

1:33:53 Adam Yeah. And I thought she was sick.

1:33:56 Drew Oh, I remember you told the story. Dad, the neighbors are sick.

1:34:00 Adam I mean, I mean, all I heard was it, I mean, you know, from, from 1230 at night till 330 in the morning. I mean, it's like crazy, you know, these crappy 70s, you know, cardboard boxes, you know, with this long adjoining wall, you know, you have a whole, you have a crap apartment. Suck, by the way. Yeah. Had like a long hallway. It was like the entire length of the apartment. You know, if you put your fist to it, it'd be in the other person's living room, you know? And this chick just got, you know, but first off, they're living in this crappy apartment too, so they're probably high, or have some sort of mental defect or something like my family. And they're just getting the bejesus banged out at four in the morning. And I'm just, I'm just sleeping in the, you know, it was a one bedroom or something.

1:34:46 Drew You asked your dad about it, he said, right?

1:34:49 Adam I said, we gotta call a doctor. This woman is sick.

1:34:52 Drew What'd your dad say?

1:34:54 Adam You know, I pictured her sort of grabbing her abdomen and moaning in pain, all this is, you know, when you're a kid, that's about, all you can do is like, she probably ate too much cotton candy and now she has a tummy ache.

1:35:05 Drew What did you find?

1:35:06 Adam She must have been at Disneyland.

1:35:08 Drew What did you finally realize that there was a problem, what it was?

1:35:11 Adam I remember my dad giving me a sort of a half an answer, like maybe a little more than I needed, but nothing too much. And I remember thinking, yeah, I see. Yeah. You're gonna start having that with your kids, Drew. They're at that weird age where stuff starts dawning on them, like halfway into the conversation, you know.

1:35:31 Drew My kids have the decency to go, oh no, no, or just laugh hysterically.

1:35:35 Adam And I tried, I tried. Oh, Jennifer.

1:35:38 Drew We're taking a break.

1:35:39 Adam Yeah, but what's up with Jennifer?

1:35:42 Drew So what's the question, Jennifer? What are you asking us?

1:35:44 Caller So is it perfectly fine and perfectly healthy that I started that young?

1:35:48 Drew Yeah, it doesn't necessarily mean anything. Just here's the question. Can you maintain stable relationships? So the relationship is all this-

1:35:56 Caller That's the thing too.

1:35:58 Drew But again, that may have more to do with the crazy mom and who knows what kind of family system you had there and the mom that would choose to have sex in the room next to you and let you hear it. The fact is, whatever problems we have tends to emerge most clearly, Anderson, relax a second, in relationships. And if you can have stable relationships that are satisfying over time, you're doing okay. And if you could try to force yourself into that, to stay easy, choose good people, stay in the relationships and you're able to do that, then don't worry about it. If not, get some treatment.

1:36:26 Adam Drone and Drew, we'll take a quick break. We'll be right back.

1:36:29 Caller Okay, so I know there's nothing wrong with me. So what's up?

1:37:15 Adam God bless you for listening. Ron Pullman, Hellboy, in here tomorrow night.

1:37:20 Drew Could throw that movie twice in one weekend.

1:37:22 Adam So until next time, this Adam Carolla for Dr. Drew saying, mahalo.

1:37:26 Caller One side of his mouth is like, hey, sabalala, but the other side is like, halala, sabalala, sabalala. Yeah!

1:37:34 This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or this station. The producer for Loveline is Annie Gold. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Sunday, April 11, 2004