Episode 1000598029591

0:54 Voiceover Loveline may contain sexually oriented content.

1:00 Voiceover Loveline with Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew.

1:04 Voiceover I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew. Phone number, 1-800-LOVE-191. Dr. Drew, board certified physician, addiction medicine specialist. And tonight, we welcome back a very special and dear, dear, dear, dear, dear friend, Art Alexakis from Everclear.

1:24 Everclear Wow, that's all the applause I got?

1:26 Adam Yeah, what happened?

1:27 Everclear You can do better than that?

1:27 Adam Come on, Anderson, give it up, buddy.

1:30 Everclear I'm not sure if that's applause or someone's finding some bacon. That's the bacon. Now we're talking.

1:37 Adam Yeah.

1:38 Everclear How you guys doing?

1:39 Adam We're doing great, Art. Great to see you.

1:42 Everclear How wonderful to see you, it's so cool. I listen to you guys all the time and I almost call in because when Adam's being a jerk, I just want to call in, what, Adam, a jerk?

1:53 Drew What are you talking about?

1:54 Everclear It's rare.

1:55 Adam Right. Well, Art knows I'm right.

1:57 Drew Yeah.

1:58 Adam He knows I'm right.

2:00 Everclear I know that you know you're right because and that's basically the same thing because you don't even think you're right. You know you're right.

2:06 Adam Right.

2:07 Everclear It's like taking the confidence of a 13 year old to be in your, what, late 20s?

2:15 Adam I know, I'm really, yeah, thank you. I'm really, I'm really not all that confident a person, am I, Drew? No, no, here's what I am.

2:23 Drew You're sure of what you know.

2:24 Adam I'm sure of what I know but I don't think anyone cares.

2:27 Drew You know that you don't like it when people notice or care.

2:31 Adam Yeah, I'm sure of what I'm saying but I don't think anyone should listen anyway.

2:37 Everclear That's the thing I've always liked about you, Adam, and I think it's natural that both of us are just supreme narcissists. Yeah, and we're really good at it.

2:48 Adam But Drew, what is it you say about your drug addicts? You have this thing about that, it's really the only thing you say that's worth a damn. Unless you're agreeing with something I said.

3:02 Drew Of course, that's always good.

3:04 Adam I don't wanna paraphrase. I would like it from you.

3:07 I say a lot of things about it.

3:08 Adam This is your narcissist drug addicts who hate themselves but hate everyone else as well. Or something like that. Drew, come on. You really only have like two good ones. This is one of them.

3:21 Drew I don't think of it as a good one, I guess.

3:22 Adam No, yes, you better think of it as good. You say it enough. Although you have not said it in a while. But it's basically, my ass doesn't stink, but...

3:32 Drew Oh, I have not said it well. I'm a piece of...

3:35 Adam By the way, take a beat.

3:36 Drew Yes, take a beat. This actually comes from a therapist out in the Alma Treatment Center who coined the phrase that all her patients feel like a piece of ass around which the whole world revolves.

3:50 Right.

3:50 Adam That's what it is.

3:51 Drew I've not said that in a long time.

3:52 Right.

3:53 Everclear Wow.

3:53 Adam But that's... You can feel like a piece of ass and still think the world owes you.

3:59 Drew Yeah, revolves around you.

4:00 Adam And revolves around you.

4:01 Everclear Well, doesn't it?

4:02 Adam Yeah, that's our point. Art is... Art's got many projects going, acoustic shows and things like that. The thing I was interested in seeing here is the advocate for the deadbeat dad bill and all that stuff.

4:17 Everclear Yeah, that's a while ago.

4:18 Adam It's been a while, I know. And I think we talked about it last time you're in here, but Art has always been sort of civically minded. And I like that. I like the deadbeat dad one. Put it this way. You can't get the rappers to get on board with that one. Do you see what I'm saying? We gotta get the rockers on with the deadbeat dads.

4:36 Everclear There's plenty of rockers that won't get on with that, too.

4:38 Adam Oh, really?

4:39 Everclear Oh, sure.

4:40 Adam What is the problem in a nutshell?

4:44 Everclear Well, this is back in 2000 when there was a bill called the Deadbeat Dad Bill, HR. 1433, that started on the floor of the House and worked its way up to the Senate and had bipartisan support, which bipartisan support isn't something that you hear too much of these days.

5:08 Adam Right.

5:09 Everclear And once Bush got elected, it just disappeared. There was the, everybody walked away from the bill. They had it piggybacked. It was, that means that they included with other bills and it was pretty much assured of passing.

5:26 Adam Why is anybody against any of these things? You know, some of these ones just sound like layups, like, hey, we just like to get the dads.

5:32 Everclear Gimmies, right?

5:33 Adam Yeah, who knocked up the ladies to be financially responsible for their offspring? Yeah, just stamp, next.

5:40 Everclear Well, this is what this was about was that the fact that it's not just people knocking up, guys knocking up gals, it's like parents, like, you know, a father of a family, his wife leaves him, he takes it out on his woman by taking it out on his kids. Of course. He gets back at them. And it's not just men, it's women too, but for the most part, it's men. And what this did, this took all the mystery out of getting the families paid because you can get a judgment against somebody and they can dodge it for years and years and years. My dad did that, by the way, I talked, I went and saw my dad this last weekend for the first time in 14 years.

6:28 Drew My God, how was that?

6:32 Everclear I'm like, how can I be mad at such an old man? I mean, he's an old man.

6:36 Drew Has he changed?

6:38 Everclear Not really. He's a sweet guy, but at the end he's just like, God, you've been mad at me and your sister's mad at me. I don't understand why everyone's mad at me. I don't understand what I did. And I'm like, really?

6:53 Drew Did you tell him?

6:54 Everclear I go, dad, can I have your email? You got an email address? I'm gonna send you a letter. I wasn't gonna sit there and just let me...

7:00 Adam Did you have an email address?

7:01 Everclear Oh, yeah.

7:01 Adam Wow, that would have been a...

7:03 Everclear But you know what? I wrote the letter.

7:05 Adam Never sent it?

7:06 Everclear No, I sent it to myself.

7:08 Adam Oh, really? Wait a minute.

7:10 Everclear No, I know.

7:12 Drew We want you to send it to him, though. We feel like people need to know what they've done.

7:15 Everclear And give him a heart attack. There's no point in it. He's 83 years old. I don't get the point. And... Yeah, I know.

7:24 Drew And we gotta have that letter to read to all the other a-hole dads.

7:27 Everclear You know what? You know what? Next time, I'll bring the letter. Yeah.

7:30 Adam I'll bring the letter.

7:31 Everclear Cause he won't listen to this.

7:33 Adam No.

7:34 Everclear He hates you guys.

7:37 Adam Probably doing something with my dad right now. Away from our radio.

7:40 Everclear Speaking of civic minded, I was just on the stump with John Edwards like about a month ago.

7:46 Drew Oh really?

7:46 Everclear Yeah, that was pretty fun.

7:49 Drew You want to run for Vice President now?

7:52 Everclear I kinda hope so. That'd be a strong ticket.

7:54 Adam Yeah, what do you think? You think it's gonna be like McCain or Hillary Clinton or... You know, a lot of people saying like Hillary Clinton. I could get down with McCain by the way.

8:04 Everclear I like that guy. McCain as Vice President for the Democrats?

8:08 Drew I can't tell if he's Republican or Democrat.

8:09 Adam Oh wait, is he a Republican?

8:11 Drew He's a Republican, but he does...

8:13 Everclear No, he's pro-life, man. There's no way he's gonna make that ticket.

8:17 Adam I didn't even know McCain. That's right. I guess he is.

8:19 Drew I think it's gonna be Edwards.

8:21 Adam Anderson thinks Edwards too. All right, let's get to the phones. What's going on with Everclear?

8:26 Everclear Everclear, we're, I'm writing songs and we're getting ready to put out a greatest hit sometime. We don't have a date set. We got a new song on the record called Glorious. It's a really cool song. I was trying to wrangle a copy of it to bring down and play for you guys, like as an exclusive, but couldn't find it, so.

8:43 Adam All right, it was probably next to the letter.

8:45 Everclear Probably sucked. No, I know where the letter is.

8:48 Adam All right, well next time bring the letter in the CD.

8:50 Everclear I'll do that for sure.

8:51 Adam All right. Tori, you're 17? What's up? Hold on a second. Don't you hate when you're stupid, when you repeat someone else's stupid stuff? Like, I didn't think of McCain. I was sitting at a table with a bunch of guys and we're going, who the hell is gonna run over at Kimmel today? And someone said, what about McCain? And it just stuck into my head and then I spat it out on the radio. Not thinking about if he was a Democrat or a Republican.

9:21 Drew Yeah, you do. Yeah, all right. Tori was about to tell us something very difficult. I could tell her she's been building a sign around her in the middle.

9:31 Speaking of Kimmel, I'm watching him right now.

9:35 Drew She's in Chicago.

9:36 Adam Oh, okay. What's happening, baby doll?

9:42 Drew For the last 10 months. What?

9:46 Everclear It's okay.

9:47 Adam I'm talking to somebody else.

9:48 Drew Is your mom in the room or? Uh, yeah. Okay, we'll put you on hold and we'll get back to you, okay? Okay.

9:57 Adam Wow, we haven't had one of those in a while.

9:59 Drew Wow, that can, usually the last time we had she was telling us about how she was having anal sex. Good night, mom. Good night. Yeah, thanks. Okay, anyway. Good night, Father McConaughey.

10:11 Adam Yeah, that was the last one we had. Danny?

10:15 Yeah.

10:17 Adam You're 16? Hello? Yes. Sorry, baby doll.

10:22 Caller Okay, sorry.

10:22 Adam All that political discourse knocked her off. Go ahead, baby, what's your question?

10:28 Caller I was calling because I don't have a boyfriend back in September and lately I've had feelings for one of my close friends or whatever, but I don't know.

10:38 Drew Whoa, you guys move so fast past crucial material. What do you mean you lost your boyfriend?

10:43 Caller He was killed in the car wreck.

10:45 Drew What happened?

10:46 Caller Really?

10:46 Drew I mean, instantaneously or? What? Instantaneously died or was he alive for a while?

10:52 Caller No, it was instant, so it was, I mean, thank God for that, but the girl was going to get hurt.

11:00 Everclear How long did you go out with him? How long did you know him?

11:02 Caller Officially four months, but what people don't realize is that was my best friend for a long time before that.

11:07 Drew Are you okay?

11:08 Caller Yeah, so it wasn't the hardest part. It wasn't just losing the boyfriend aspect of it. It was the best friend part of it.

11:14 Drew You know, but are you okay? Yeah, it can be very hard for teenagers to deal with a peer is dying. Yeah, yeah, I'm not going to tell you, but it shatters some of their ability to sort of defend against the feelings become overwhelming. The young persons aren't supposed to die. Teenagers feel invincible and it shatters all that.

11:36 Adam Really? I don't know. I got this other thought about it, which is the kids, it's almost like an injury. Like they snap back better. I mean, it's never a good time. I remember there was a couple of my good friends died in high school. It was like, oh man, this is sad. All right, well, let's eat.

11:55 Everclear Do you really think that you actually dealt with it?

11:59 Drew I remember your opening observations about Adam.

12:02 Everclear Yeah.

12:02 Drew Remember your opening observations about Adam.

12:04 Everclear I know, but I'm trying to peel away the onion there.

12:08 Drew Didn't get in, didn't get in. There is that component too. It just doesn't get in.

12:12 Adam No, I.

12:12 Drew And the teenagers are very good at that too.

12:14 Adam No, I'm saying how dare you. I am saying. God, it's so weird, these guys. Robert and Lenny, and one of those two guys died in a Pinto station wagon, boom, burst into flames.

12:28 Everclear Good times.

12:29 Adam Oh man, pegged in between two cars. Car just went up like a torch and never got out. But the thing about it is, it was very sad. I went to both their funerals, but it didn't haunt me, I guess. I mean, what is, it's never good age to have somebody die. And in a way, I think better 16 than 26.

12:52 Drew No, come on. Well, here's the point, it might be more likely to get in. You might feel more of the feelings associated with it at 26 than at 16.

13:00 Adam I'm just saying at 26, you could go into a stupor if your mate died and not be right for years.

13:08 Everclear I know from experiences similar to that. I mean, well, exactly like that. I lost my girlfriend who was like a year older than me when I was 13, like a year after my brother died.

13:20 Drew What happened with the girlfriend?

13:21 Everclear She killed herself.

13:23 Adam Wow.

13:23 Everclear Right after my brother died of an overdose. So I was 13 years old and it was pretty devastating. And I was definitely self-medicating at that time in a big way. So that I thought that helped actually it just kind of put it off until, you know, later on in life till my mid twenties when I got clean, it was just like it all came back to get me.

13:44 Adam And the suicide is even a bigger and bitterer pill to swallow for the boyfriend and or girlfriend whoever's left behind. Danny?

13:55 Drew Danny, do you have a question?

13:57 Caller All right, so that's sad.

14:00 Everclear It's sad.

14:01 Drew Go ahead.

14:04 Caller I wonder like how long after that, like, is it normal? Because like, I have a lot of friends, like you're the really popular guy or whatever. And like some people are like, I haven't really asked anyone about it, but everyone just seems to want to put it in their opinion anyway. And some people, you know, think it's okay for me to move on. And some people just think I'm trying too hard to move on too quickly.

14:23 Everclear How long ago was it?

14:25 Adam It was in September?

14:26 Caller It was five months ago on the 27th.

14:28 Adam Five months ago.

14:29 Drew Six months you're officially free today.

14:31 Adam How long were you going out?

14:39 Drew You need to go ahead and just move on with your life.

14:42 Adam This was your best friend though?

14:44 Drew And boyfriend.

14:45 Adam But were you best friends before your boyfriend?

14:47 Drew Yeah, yeah.

14:49 Adam All right, six months.

14:50 Drew So it takes about six months usually to get over, not get over, but to really have completed grieving. And at that point, you're 16, you've got to have a life. He wouldn't want you to end your life. In case of his misfortune.

15:03 Everclear Hey, Danny. Yeah, I would have too at 16.

15:06 Drew Well, again, both your observation at the beginning of the show, but the narcissism in there.

15:09 Everclear Right. Yeah, your point is, Danny? When you talk about dating with this guy, I mean, can you just start spending time with them and become friends with them? I mean, and then.

15:25 Caller Yeah, I mean, that's like what's happening right now. It's just like, I don't know, it's like, I feel weird about it, but at the same time, like, I want to move on. I don't want to be stuck in it, you know? Like, I listen to you guys' show and I hear these messed up people all the time and I'm like, I don't want to end up like that.

15:39 Drew No, Dan, I think it's fine.

15:41 Everclear Yeah, you're fine. Yeah, you're fine. If you really want to do this and you feel the need to do it, I think it's time.

15:46 Adam Yeah, and it's no guilt or shame.

15:49 Drew No, no, not at all.

15:50 Adam Tim?

15:51 Tim?

15:53 Adam Tim?

15:54 Yeah.

15:54 Adam You're 19, what's up? Good.

15:58 Caller Yeah, I was just kind of wondering, I've been seeing this girl for about four months and she's 10 years older than me, she's 29 and she was my cheer coach in high school.

16:14 Adam Why did you have a cheer coach? Wait a minute, let's give him a chance to back out of this. Did you say beer or cheer?

16:28 Caller Cheer.

16:29 Adam Okay, well, he didn't go. Here we come a trucking in. Bet you wonder where we've been. We're a team that can't be beat.

16:41 Everclear Cause we're funky on our feet.

16:43 Adam David Allen Grier.

16:45 Drew One, two, three, four, five. I don't take no jive.

16:50 Adam So you had a cheer coach in high school.

16:53 Drew Come on, Anderson.

16:54 Adam This was her.

16:55 Caller See my fingers, see my thumb.

16:56 Caller We got the ball. You better run. S-O-C-K-I-T socket to me. Baby, my head is aching. My hips are tired.

17:03 I'm just aching from left to right.

17:05 One, two, three, four, five.

17:06 Caller Cast, don't take no jive.

17:08 Caller Six, seven, eight, nine, ten.

17:17 Everclear Wow.

17:18 Caller Yeah.

17:19 Everclear Wow.

17:20 Adam So, Tim, she was your cheer coach in high school because-

17:25 Drew And you're in college now?

17:27 Caller Yeah. I'm chairing for Portland State University.

17:34 Adam Did you get a cheer? Yeah, that's our-

17:37 Everclear PSU in the house.

17:39 Adam Did you get some sort of scholarship for cheering?

17:44 Caller Yeah, you get a scholarship. You get a book scholarship and then a couple grand for tuition costs.

17:54 Adam This guy's like- one instinct is you want to make fun of them, but then you see them and they got big arms and they just rattled off a push up for every point that the basketball team scored and they're in triple overtime and you think, I'm just going to make fun of them as I'm heading the other way.

18:09 Drew Yeah, and they're getting their college paid for.

18:10 Adam Yeah, they're sort of the gymnast guys, right? And they get to just stare up at 18-year-old vagina. You know what I want to do? Hold on a second. I had this idea. You know what one of my dream gig is? Is Spotter. Spotter at a cheerleading camp. You know those guys?

18:32 Everclear You want to hold them right up here?

18:34 Adam No, no. Those are the guys who are actually involved. I'm talking about the guys who stand behind the pyramid. They're not involved with the actual... It's during the competition.

18:44 Drew And they just work at these camps. They don't actually...

18:46 Adam They work at the camps and they spot for the competition. Are they grown men? They're grown men. Drew, here's what you do. This is what you do.

18:54 Drew And you just watch and wait.

18:56 Adam You just stare at ass, like if you look down, you'll get into trouble, you understand? There's ass, there's like 17 year old girls, three or four pyramid layers high and their ass is hanging out and you just stand under them and stare at their crack for hours on in until a new batch moves in.

19:18 Drew It's an ever changing batch.

19:18 Adam And if you look down, you're going to get fired, so just keep those eyes up. But your idea, now you don't wear the outfit or anything, you're just blending. You're the actual, you're the spotter, you know, at those competitions and camps they have the spotters.

19:32 Everclear Dude, how do you know so much about this?

19:35 Adam I see it on like ESPN3 after the Lumberjack.

19:38 Everclear So you watch the cheerleading content?

19:41 Adam I watch anything and then I had this idea about a TV series called The Spotter. Now listen to this idea.

19:50 Everclear Is this a reality show?

19:52 Adam No, this is a real, this is an hour long crime drama. Here's the deal. I was one of the greatest male cheerleader and spotters ever until the Tulane pyramid incident of 1982, 1,500 coeds died. I blame myself. Don't ask.

20:13 Drew You're framed.

20:14 Adam I know it wasn't my fault, but I blame myself when the Tulane pyramid collapsed and took out 1,500 coeds. Now, even though I'm the best, I'm sort of banished from working this small cheerleader camp in upstate New York.

20:30 Drew But there's jewels and gems to be heard from this man.

20:33 Adam People know me. Once in a while ago. That's Dirk Moxie. He was one of the best spotters.

20:42 Drew And then they shake their head and shake.

20:43 Adam Is that for the Tulane incident? I just tell them no, that's not it.

20:46 Drew And then Susie talks to Dirk and wants to express her enthusiasm and people won't listen because it's Moxie.

20:52 Adam I'm the best.

20:53 Everclear You're kind of the Colombo of spotters.

20:56 Adam I'm the Colombo of spotters, but with a little bit of like a little bit of the Hulk mixed in like I'm moving. I'm always I'm kind of I'm trying to stay ahead of my memories.

21:04 Everclear So you just go every episode you're going to go from small school to small school. Going to new backwater town to backwater town.

21:11 Adam High schools, cheerleading academies, you know. And again, I use a fake name and stuff, but people people know that I was the best.

21:20 Everclear And there'll be dramas going on like drama. Little Susie's pregnant.

21:23 Adam I'm solving crime. I'm stopping crime within the dorms, within the gymnasiums as the spotter.

21:31 Drew CSI spotter.

21:33 Adam Yeah, I'm just saying the spotter.

21:35 Drew Yeah, the spotter.

21:36 Adam And you know, Dirk Moxie, one of the best spotter male cheerleaders ever. And then and then the Tulane.

21:43 Drew Yeah, let's finish with that.

21:45 Adam Fifteen hundred coeds died during that. And I blame myself. Every one of their deaths, I blame myself. Here we come, a truck of idiots.

21:54 Drew Come on, speaking of the humanity.

21:55 Adam This is going to be a serious drama, Anderson.

21:58 Drew Hi, Tim.

21:59 Caller Yeah.

22:00 Adam Tim, that spotting is a good gig.

22:02 Drew How is it you maintain a relationship with her, with her so much older than you?

22:05 Everclear Well, how much older?

22:07 Adam Ten years.

22:07 Caller She's ten years older than me. And it's difficult because she also has two kids.

22:13 Drew Why did you maintain a relationship with her?

22:18 Caller I don't know.

22:21 Drew Did you start dating her when you were in high school?

22:23 Adam No.

22:25 Caller No, I started dating her after I had been in college.

22:28 Adam All right, Tim, here's the thing. You go to all the sporting events, you got the cheerleader, you got the palm of your hand in the cheerleader's groin. You know what I mean? Chicks have a groin, right?

22:38 Drew You need the 29-year-old mom.

22:40 Adam Yeah, you don't need a 29-year-old mom with the baggage. I mean, look, I'm not saying it couldn't work out, but you're 19, you're on the cheerleading squad, you're in college.

22:49 Drew I'm concerned. Whenever there's that big of a difference, I'm worried that the younger person is being exploited. Because you really just not...

22:56 Adam 19 is the cheerleader. Where's the sweater with that tape on it?

22:59 Everclear Is there any point where that stops, like if you get to a certain age?

23:04 Drew Yeah, I mean, if he were into his adult life, adults are all sort of the same age, whether 25 to like 40 or sort of, they're 28 to 45 or shorter.

23:15 Everclear So a 20 year old and a 37 year old, bad idea.

23:17 Drew No, bad idea, it's a bad idea.

23:18 Everclear I wish you'd have told me that earlier.

23:20 Drew So, I'm not a horrible, bad idea. I mean, just enjoy, worry that they're, whenever there's a position imbalance, age imbalance, there's just the potential of exploitation. And Tim seems kind of confused and can't figure what's going on.

23:35 Adam Just stick with one of those cheerleaders who got your hand up. Hey, you know, some of the dialogue from The Spotter, like would go like, Dirk, Tulane was over 20 years ago, let it go. And I just grab it, I can't forget. You know what I'm saying?

23:49 Drew 1500. Just hang your head and walk off onto the field.

23:56 Adam Because of me, we were going for the record.

23:57 Drew Pan back.

23:58 Adam I was trying to set the record before the kids were ready.

24:01 Drew Could have been a contender.

24:03 Adam And yeah, yeah. And then maybe I have a little flashback. You know, I'm looking up.

24:07 Everclear You can make the show kind of like The Fugitive because there was actually fifteen hundred and one. But you're looking for that one kid.

24:15 Adam Right.

24:15 Drew And he's the one that did it.

24:17 Everclear That might be the one at the bottom.

24:19 Drew He's the one that screwed it up, the one that screwed it up.

24:21 Everclear But you took the blame. You took the rap.

24:23 Adam Right. Yeah, it was the it was the the two chinned boy. It's like The Fugitive, one arm. An arm. Yeah, this guy had two chins. He was a fat kid. I don't remember his name, but I put him down at the bottom in the cornerstone position position and he was he was stoned and he fell apart. And that's and they blamed me, but it was him. And yeah, I'm on him. All right. That's it. I got to go. I got to work on this.

24:45 Drew This is could you throw in like a concentration camp or wacky commandant or something?

24:49 Adam No, no, this is the spotter.

24:51 Everclear There's going to be a lot of sex appeal, right? Oh, yeah.

24:54 Adam It's very sexy. What's a lot of cheerleader?

24:55 Everclear A lot of butt.

24:56 Adam A lot of ass. And I'm I have to look at it by law. I have not enough to look at the fixate on it. If I look down, people die, you know. So I'm just there with the boner looking straight at my sweatpants. That's the profile. That's the beginning. It's like James Bond. You know, it's like the profile, the boner and the guy looking up. Art Alexakis is here tonight from Everclear in Oregon and many other places. We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back.

25:24 Caller One eight hundred love one nine one.

25:28 Caller Every hour, two Americans under the age of twenty five are infected with HIV.

25:33 Drew Protect yourself.

25:34 Caller Call toll free one eight six six three four four KNOW.

25:44 Adam This week on The Spotter, in order to catch an arsonist, The Spotter's gonna have to become a rapist. Yes, that's, every promo works that way. We pick whatever crime, but it always ends with rapist.

25:59 Drew Good, good.

25:59 Adam Yeah.

26:00 Drew That's good.

26:01 Adam I got some people interested. Be good.

26:05 Everclear You gonna pitch it to the big guys?

26:06 Adam I'm going down to ABC tomorrow. I'm gonna pitch this and pitch to Spotter.

26:11 Drew Fabulous.

26:12 Adam A lot of teenage ass, but man on the move.

26:16 Drew All right.

26:17 Adam Art Alexakis is here tonight from Everclear. Everclear is coming out with a Best Of CD with some new stuff on it. We're not sure when though.

26:27 Everclear Yep. I'm not sure when. It's not slated yet, but it's not like we get to record all these songs. They're pretty much recorded.

26:36 Adam Right.

26:36 Everclear But sometime this year.

26:38 Adam And why Best Of? Why not a new CD?

26:41 Everclear Well, I think, you know, it's a good time to. I was kind of surprised how many songs we had that were like.

26:50 Adam Hits.

26:50 Everclear Pretty much hits. Yeah.

26:52 Adam I was thinking about that today.

26:53 Everclear And people have wanted to do it. And it's, you know, the record companies like them because they're low overhead, big return.

27:01 Adam Right.

27:01 Everclear It helps them make their numbers for the year. And I don't know. It feels like closure to me for, you know, one period of my life and then move on to a different, different kind of thing. I think the music I'm making now is, is not as a physical, not as, I don't want to say physically aggressive. Musically, it's not as musically aggressive, but lyrically, I think it is. So it's, it's kind of like more mature.

27:31 Adam Right. I mean, would you, would you say in the past, the music was driven by anger and energy and, and now it's a verbal articulation of it more so than the energy.

27:48 Everclear The energy and the anger is still there. I think they're just, I just act out in a different way.

27:55 Drew More focused.

27:56 Adam Yeah. That's gonna, maybe a guest appearance on The Spotter.

28:01 Drew Of course.

28:01 Everclear You think so?

28:02 Drew It goes without saying.

28:02 Adam Everclear plays the dance at one of the cheerleading schools and there's trouble.

28:08 Drew Yeah. And Spotter takes care of it.

28:10 Adam That's right.

28:10 Everclear Yeah.

28:11 Adam And then we find out that, and by the way, let me say the Spotter, he catches people that fall. So everything is sort of stuff like, that chandelier is gonna come down and crush. Don't, you know, Spotter slides in, you know, it's like, you know, they say how these work. If he throws a javelin, the guy throws, you know, you know how it works, you know what I'm saying?

28:32 Everclear Will he catch someone every show? Or is that just like...

28:36 Adam Well, he'll have to become a rapist in order to catch someone that's not a rapist each show. That's why. Here's another idea. Think about this idea. It's real fast. And we're getting back to Tori. What about this? Terrorists take over Olympic training village in Colorado Springs or whatever, right? They lock up all the Olympic athletes. One of each. You got the shot putter. You got the gymnast. You got the steeplechase guy. You got all the guys. One of everything. We gotta break out. The long distance guy, the marathon runner. We gotta get this message. It's 26.2 miles away. The phones are out. Go. You've gotta make it. You gotta best this time by five.

29:23 Drew It's a bomb to go off.

29:24 Adam You see what I'm saying? It's all using all our Olympic skills. The pole vaulter guys, the guy's gonna get us up to the second window. You see what I'm saying?

29:32 Drew But the spotter could be there to catch people jumping out of windows.

29:34 Adam No, this is a different show.

29:36 Drew No, new show. Well, Spotter could do a guest appearance.

29:39 Adam Spotter's a series. This is a movie. And everybody, and it's called like, I don't know, Going for the Gold. There's something like that, you know. And it's all, you know, it's got the hot gymnast chick. It's got the black boxer guy. You know, it's all the different Olympic sports guys all trapped. We've got to out think the terrorists and use our special skills, you see? Special skills.

30:03 Drew It's kind of a spinoff of Charlie's Angels.

30:05 Everclear So, yeah, there's going to be a whole crew, right?

30:07 Adam Yeah. Yeah. So it's no, it's sort of like, you know, it is like those movies, like The Dirty Dozen. It's like, you're the, you're the knife thrower, you're the demolitions expert, you're the computer hacker, you know, those movies. It's like that, except for it's all Olympic sports.

30:23 Everclear Got it. Yeah. So it's like Ocean's Eleven.

30:26 Adam Yeah. As a matter of fact, that's a good name.

30:29 Everclear Because kids today, they say Dirty Dozen, they're like.

30:31 Adam Yeah. It's Ocean's Eleven. That's right. In the Olympic Village.

30:36 Drew So Tori, who walked in on you, Tori?

30:38 Caller My cousin came out of her room.

30:41 Adam She was talking to us before.

30:43 Drew This has got to be like anxiety provoking, to say the least, that she was building up to tell us something very important, and then you started rambling, and then her cousin walks in.

30:53 Adam It's the rambling. Jesus didn't ramble. You understand? Do you hear me, Drew?

31:02 Drew Yeah, yeah.

31:02 Adam You didn't ramble? You hear what I said?

31:04 Drew Jesus, not a rambler.

31:04 Adam You know why? Because the things that came out of his mouth were important.

31:07 Drew Pearls. Yeah.

31:10 Adam Your mom rambles. You understand? Jesus? No rambling. Mom? Yes, ramble.

31:15 Drew So, Tori.

31:16 Caller I honestly love the way your mind thinks about them.

31:18 Drew All right, so Tori, what's your question?

31:21 Caller So, for ten and a half months, almost a year, me and my step-sister have been sleeping together.

31:29 Drew How long has she been your step-sister?

31:32 Caller For three years.

31:36 Drew How old is she?

31:38 Caller I'm a couple of months older than her.

31:39 Adam All right, so you've known her since you were 14.

31:42 Caller No, I've known her a lot longer than that.

31:45 Adam Oh, okay, so she's been your step-sister.

31:47 Drew You mean you're still living with her since you were 14?

31:50 Caller No. Well, yeah, yeah.

31:52 Adam Right, but you've known her for how long? How old were you when you met her?

31:55 Caller Infancy.

31:56 Drew That's kind of weird, isn't it?

31:57 Caller Because her mom died when she was five. My dad left when I was younger and our parents got together.

32:09 Drew They were friends.

32:10 Caller That's why they got together. But ever since we were young, we never liked each other ever.

32:17 Drew Oh, that's interesting.

32:18 Caller Yeah. I mean, they have like, they were recording like one of my birthday parties. We were at the park and I threw sand in her eyes. And I mean, violently we didn't like each other. She dislocated her shoulder. And to get back to her, I kicked her in her shin.

32:35 I get it.

32:37 Adam Kids do this a lot, but then they end up laughing at each other.

32:41 Drew What is the question?

32:42 Caller Well, I mean, like, we don't really want our parents to find out.

32:47 Drew Why don't you stop doing this?

32:49 Adam Yeah, that's the best way.

32:51 Caller We've tried that, Jasmine, we've tried that several times, but I really, we both really love each other.

32:58 Adam And now you guys are living under the same roof. And the roof is over the same house? Oh, Christ. See, sometimes not always over the same house. Yeah. People don't specify that. Tori? Well, you guys, other than the sort of general chaos that is your family and the people passing away and stuff, were you ever abused just in a wholesale way? Really? Because this really just seems like somebody's been abused.

33:29 Drew What's it about?

33:29 Everclear Is she your stepsister?

33:32 Caller She means she'd tell me if she was.

33:33 Drew Well, why don't you ask her? I bet you were probably going to find that's there.

33:36 Everclear Have you ever been with another girl?

33:38 Caller Yeah. I've never been with guys at all.

33:42 Everclear Okay, so that's your orientation then.

33:44 Drew How old were you when you started having sex with women?

33:46 Girls.

33:48 Drew Twelve. And how old was the person?

33:55 Adam All right, so Tori, do you feel you're just a full-blown lesbian? Yeah, of course. And your stepsister feels the same way? Well, see, they're the cause of some strife for you, because.

34:14 Drew If she goes off with a guy, I think that's going to feel.

34:16 Adam Yeah, and why? Why you keep telling her she's bi? It seems like something you want me to tell her.

34:24 Drew You can tell she's not lesbian the way you are.

34:27 Everclear She's kind of a negative self-talk, kind of.

34:31 Drew But also she may really pick up on the fact that her stepsister is just confused about her sexual orientation. Let's goof around, but not commit to it.

34:38 Everclear That's true, but it sounds like Tori, do you really have proof that she's not gay? Like 100% gay? Or do you just say that because you're worried about her not being gay and leaving you? Of course not.

34:59 Caller But, I don't know, I mean, we've talked about it before, she says that she doesn't want to, you know, be with a guy because she's had boyfriends and she's never liked it.

35:11 Everclear Alright.

35:12 Drew Or are you planning to go away to college?

35:16 Caller Uh, kind of, yeah, maybe.

35:19 Adam If there's some Junior College exchange program where they take goofballs from other states and send them over here...

35:25 Drew How about she? Is she going to stay at home?

35:26 Adam How much range you got on that moped, Rob?

35:28 Caller Well, right now I just want to kind of stay home because the reason is like it was different when before, because like we didn't really consider ourselves related almost.

35:41 Everclear Do you know?

35:43 Caller Well, we now have a baby brother.

35:47 Adam Oh, I see. So now that's made like some sort of bridge between the two of you in the blood department. Well, look, here's the thing, Tori. I don't know what went on in the past. I'm just picturing a supreme chaos reigning over in your family, before your dad left.

36:07 Caller It was all happened because like when my mom got breast cancer, she went away for treatment and it was just my older sister here who was, you know, looking after us, making sure we didn't kill each other. And one day, like we just kind of looked at each other different and like, I don't know, like, she asked me like to scrub her back or something, she didn't tell me, like, ask me just to scrub her back.

36:31 Adam Right. Okay. Well, that's same thing that happened with me.

36:35 Drew Bad boundaries.

36:36 Horrible boundaries.

36:37 Adam But here's the deal.

36:38 Caller Horrible.

36:38 Horrible.

36:39 Caller Horrible.

36:39 You two.

36:40 Caller You're just like really hard because I do honestly love her.

36:43 Drew We understand.

36:44 Adam I know.

36:44 Drew But the boundary issues are going to haunt you.

36:46 Adam I don't want to bum your high, but what are the chances your soulmate is living with you? You know what I mean?

36:52 Drew You're supposed to say she's not gay by your own description.

36:55 Adam This is like when your neighbor turns out to be your best friend and then you hit 18 and you realize, wait a minute, that guy's not my best friend. He just lives next door to me. I mean, I'm not doesn't mean we can't talk anymore, but there's that part that you guys all got to hear when you're young. And I'm not telling you turn your back on your friends, but I'm saying you, you know, your soulmate sits behind you in English class, you're in love with this person, your best friend lives across the street. And all of this is caused because you don't have a car, right?

37:23 Drew Proximity.

37:24 Adam Soon as you get out and start moving around and going to college and spreading around a little, then you start really heading toward the people you like, you have common interests in and so on and so forth. And these so-called best friends or soulmates or loved ones, it's like, you keep in touch with them. Maybe, maybe not.

37:40 Drew You share a history.

37:41 Adam Right. So Tori, I don't think is going to be able to do anything as long as she's living with this woman.

37:47 Drew She needs to go away to school, really.

37:49 Adam Or just go.

37:49 Drew Or go away and work.

37:51 Everclear Just go away.

37:52 Adam You need to get out of the house. Yeah. I don't think the two of you can live under the same roof.

37:56 Drew Not with the way you've sort of blown through whatever boundaries were there. They don't exist anymore.

38:02 Adam Oh, yeah. And then when you're 17, once when it's game on, it's game on.

38:05 Drew Yeah.

38:06 Adam True. As a former passionate, passionate manager.

38:10 Drew First of all, how dare you?

38:11 Adam I mean, but as a 17 year old, you were brimming with passion. Yes.

38:14 Drew Game on.

38:15 Adam Yes.

38:16 Drew As you say.

38:16 Adam You were like a pressure cooker, except for instead of steam coming out of the top, passion was oozing from your pressure cooker. That's what they call that.

38:26 Caller I thought it was.

38:27 Adam Although it didn't come out of my sleeve very easily. All right. I'm going to have to work on that. A little soda water. Get that passion right out.

38:36 Drew The manual out. Masculine.

38:38 Adam Masculine. Art Alexakis is here tonight. We know him from Everclear. We'll take a quick break and we'll be right back after this.

39:21 Dear, dear, dear, dear.

39:22 Adam Dear, dear friend, Art Alexakis is here tonight from Everclear. God smack in here tomorrow night.

39:28 Everclear Good times.

39:29 Drew We need to burn through some calls. There's several up there that have been waiting, waiting, waiting.

39:32 Adam I got an idea for another show. No, we haven't had God smack in here for a while, have we?

39:37 Drew A long while, yeah.

39:39 Adam Let's get some calls.

39:41 Drew There's like three I want to get to there.

39:42 Adam You want to talk to James?

39:44 Drew James, we've got to keep the cheerleader theme going here.

39:46 Adam You're 21?

39:47 Caller Yes.

39:49 Adam Oh, you're a cheerleader, you're a male cheerleader?

39:52 Caller That's correct.

39:53 Adam Yeah. What do you like, what do you think of my spotter idea?

39:56 Caller That's a pretty good idea there, Adam. It can work? Yeah.

40:00 Drew Very enthusiastic.

40:01 Adam What's up?

40:02 Caller So I have a little quick story for you. How I met my wife. Hey, going through high school, she was the captain of the cheerleading squad, I was the captain of the football team and her mom was the coach. Her mom wanted me to go do the cheerleading stuff with her and the first step we learned was called a chair. Where you have to put your hand right on their butt that like sit on your hand.

40:24 Adam Yeah, I mean, it's sort of part butt, part crotch, you know?

40:30 Caller So her mom, exactly what she told me was to put your hand right in her coo.

40:36 Drew In her what?

40:37 Caller Her coo. Her coo, right between her legs right there.

40:41 Drew Thanks, Mom. This is your mother-in-law now.

40:44 Caller Yeah, that's my mother-in-law now.

40:46 Drew That's nice.

40:47 Adam How is it?

40:47 Drew Where'd she go to finishing school?

40:48 Adam I thought you were the captain of the football team. What were you doing in the funky sweater with the letter on it?

40:54 Caller What was that again?

40:56 Everclear George W. Bush was a cheerleader for Cry 6.

40:59 Adam I know, what, what?

41:00 Drew But you don't go from captain of the football team to cheerleader, how'd that happen?

41:04 Caller To be a cheerleader?

41:05 Drew But you were captain of the football team. How could you do both those things?

41:09 Caller Oh, there were different times. Because with the football season, and then they had a competition time, too, where they went, like, during the summer.

41:18 Adam Picture him, like, on the sideline, yelling, go me. Okay, all right, it's, it's, okay, Drew, is that, that's what, you're taking, taking time away from my sermon on the mountain so we can talk day holes? I put my, I palm-F'd my girlfriend before her mom told me to fister. That, that's it?

41:38 Drew I said I wanted to go fast.

41:40 Adam Well, let's go then.

41:41 Drew This now is Cookie who we talked to, I think last night. Remember Cookie jumped out of a car when she saw a freeway accident where a tanker truck basically caught on fire.

41:51 Adam Not a tanker truck.

41:53 Drew Didn't she say a tanker? Pickup truck. I beg your pardon. Somebody had to turn a tanker. And she pulled the guy out of a truck.

41:58 Adam Because you got ears, you got the same ears your wife has.

42:01 Drew And those are?

42:03 Adam If you, if you put a couple zeros behind everything. If you hear, if you hear 10, it sounds like a thousand.

42:09 Drew I see.

42:11 Adam It's a good way to go.

42:11 Drew It's very exciting.

42:12 Adam Well, hyperbole makes it better. What would have been better if it was a tanker truck? Cokie? Yes. All right. But we were saying you had the alcoholic gene because-

42:22 Yeah, because my mother was alcoholic and-

42:24 Drew And we saw the way you managed Thrill, the way you were activated by Thrill.

42:27 Adam Non-alcoholic, stay in the car, call 911, roll up the window.

42:31 I thought about that long and hard. And here, I feel that I have control over my self and drinking in a hole. But for me to feel that I have-

42:45 Adam As a hole, I think to me, actually drinking in a drainage ditch.

42:49 It makes me feel like, am I gonna wind up under a bridge drinking mouthwash?

42:53 Drew Well, the gene means you can get out of control with it. And if the switch gets thrown, you're at risk for that. Just having the alcohol, mom puts you at risk.

43:03 Well, she's sober now and she's, you know, she's really supportive with me and-

43:08 Drew Cookie.

43:08 Caller I did manage to get out of control, but I stopped that myself without treatment or aid.

43:15 Drew Well, it is a progressive condition and it will resurface in some fashion. And we picked up on you having that biology based on your behavior. And lo and behold, we were right. You have it. And then we didn't know even about your alcoholic mom yet. Now you told us that, so just the alcoholic mom puts you 50% probability of having the gene. Now you've basically told us you've got it.

43:38 Adam If your dad's an alcoholic too, it's still 50%.

43:40 Drew It's still 50%.

43:41 Adam You might as well both drink.

43:42 Everclear Yeah, but were you raised by your mom and your dad?

43:44 Caller Just my mother and a stepfather who were also an alcoholic.

43:48 Drew No, it doesn't, it's still 50%.

43:49 Adam See, that's the whole thing.

43:51 Everclear You don't think just being, okay.

43:55 Drew Having disturbed family systems may make your disease come on earlier and more intensely, but just the predisposition is a pure biological predisposition.

44:03 Everclear And that's 50%.

44:04 Drew 50%, roughly.

44:05 Adam How drunk you gotta be to punch that mic every night, Drew?

44:07 Drew Well, you know.

44:08 Adam All right, so this is my policy. When I fart out a kid, if my old lady turns into an alcoholic, I go alcoholic too, since it doesn't up the ante.

44:19 Drew That's right. It will make the kid's disease worse, but it won't make the probability of the disease worse.

44:25 Adam Right, right.

44:26 Drew And if the kid, it's a daughter, she'll have depressive illness too.

44:30 Adam True, Drew said it was cool. All right, you wanna talk? Oh, we got a Germany or Florida. Andrew? Art, this little game we like to call Germany or Florida. All bizarre stories, most stories that have to do with crime emanate from either Germany or Florida.

44:47 Drew Not just any crime, the macabre.

44:50 Adam As the bizarre.

44:50 Drew The bizarre.

44:51 Adam I said bizarre. Andrew? Go ahead, buddy. You give us the clues. We tell you Germany or Florida.

44:57 Right. All right. A guy tried to siphon some gas. It was in like just a regular, I guess, a gas tank and he siphoned the gas, but I guess he sucked at siphoning gas and he choked on it. And he ended up getting a stomach ache. Then he realized it wasn't actually hooked up to gas. He had accidentally siphoned sewage water. Nice.

45:22 Adam So he thought he was siphoning gas out of a storage tank at like a gas station and he was in the sewage. Yeah, right.

45:30 But he accidentally, like, I guess put in the wrong thing and it ended up being a sewage tank.

45:35 Everclear So he got a mouthful of sewage.

45:37 Yeah, and he spent four hours later and he was just, I guess, like...

45:41 Adam All right, this feels like Florida to me. Although gas is more expensive in Europe, although it's going up here.

45:47 Drew Dan, think about it. We're in Florida, they're gonna have a tank, a sewage tank with a hose. We don't have that kind of thing, really.

45:55 Everclear No, they do, actually, down there.

45:57 Drew In Florida?

45:58 Everclear Yeah, and some places like that, they have septic tanks.

46:01 Drew Septic tank, if that's...

46:02 Adam I'm going to Florida.

46:04 Drew All right, I'll go with you.

46:05 Adam You really?

46:06 Drew Yeah, I don't disagree.

46:07 Adam You can pick your own.

46:08 Drew No, Andrew, what is it?

46:09 Adam Florida.

46:09 Caller It's Florida, yeah, you're right.

46:11 Drew Yeah, see, I know the right...

46:13 Adam And that's how you play Germany or Florida, my friend.

46:16 Drew Good time.

46:17 Adam Thank you. Good time, good time. And this is why Drew and I compliment each other so much.

46:22 Drew That's right, Adam talks, and I say, Adam, that you're doing a great job.

46:25 Adam And then I yell at him, compliment me.

46:27 Everclear You're doing a great job. I've never seen you guys better together, actually.

46:29 Adam Really?

46:30 Everclear Oh yeah.

46:30 Adam Yeah, see? Really. And Art's been here many, many times.

46:34 Drew 16 times.

46:35 Adam Really?

46:35 Everclear Yeah, at least.

46:36 Adam Hold on. And that's enough now, come on now. There's other people out there who want to do the show.

46:41 Everclear Oh, great, fine.

46:43 Adam Here we go.

46:43 Everclear It hurt my feelings.

46:44 Adam Art Alexakis, everybody. We'll take ourselves a quick break. Dear, dear, dear friend, take a quick break. We'll be right back. Here it is, Bottom Line, it sucks being single today.

46:55 Caller Tons of lame people and no decent prospects. Call the Dateline.

46:59 Caller Call the Dateline. 1-877-889-DATE. Love Line will be right back, so get your problems ready.

47:26 Adam Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. Phone number, 1-800-LOVE-191. Dr. Drew, Board Certified Season, blah. Art Alexakis, dear friend on the show tonight from Everclear, of course. You can look out for that Best Of CD. And yeah, thinking about Everclear while I was walking up my stairs today, thinking, a lot of hits, a lot of hits. And Drew's thinking, Chris the engineer's not in the room.

47:58 Drew Yeah, thinking that too.

47:59 Adam Yeah. Chris and I are, become so close over the years that when Drew said, where's Chris? I said, who? I thought you don't want to call him.

48:09 Drew Yeah.

48:10 Adam There he is.

48:10 Drew Finally, finally registered. What do you got to do?

48:12 Adam Yeah, he's the strong but silent type engineer, Chris. He is, he's like a Navy seal, you know? He'd come in under cover of darkness, cut your throat with piano wire and be out, climbing that rope to the helicopter. Not a ripple in the water. You wouldn't even know he was there. Stealthy. They call him the Black Panther. You know what I mean? Be up in that tree, pounce on you. You wouldn't even know what hit you. Carrie? You're 27? Drew, hold on a second.

48:47 Drew What?

48:47 Adam What's going on with Roy? He's walking again. From Siegfried Roy, he's walking.

48:52 Drew Yeah.

48:52 Adam What's up?

48:53 Drew They never really specify what the injury was. As best I can imagine, something had happened to what's called the posterior circulation of his brain.

49:01 Adam Yeah.

49:01 Drew Which is the cerebellum and the mid-band, the brain stem and the motor, so where the motor area sort of feeds into the brain.

49:09 Adam How does this go, by the way, that these things become front page news for many, many weeks and there never anybody, you know, at a certain point, after reading article number 55 about it, I want to go, look, what's the prognosis? Is he going to walk? Can he talk? Where is he?

49:30 Drew Well, first of all, the...

49:32 Adam Why is it always shrouded in secrecy? And by the way, what's the shame in being injured?

49:37 Drew Right.

49:37 Adam There seems to be some sort of shame that's like, you know, people are coming up going on, sort of weaving these tales, these optimistic tales about, I looked at him, he squeezed my hand, I knew it meant he would be all right.

49:50 Drew Here's the deal.

49:50 Adam He says to give, how about just tell us what's wrong with the guy?

49:53 Drew The HIPAA laws are such that doctors are not allowed...

49:56 Adam HIPAA what?

49:56 Drew HIPAA laws are not allowed to...

49:58 Adam Stacked by Tiger, you idiot.

50:00 Drew Not a HIPAA. HIPAA laws, yeah, okay. The mayor such that hair takers, medical hair takers, cannot talk to anybody. It's illegal to say anything.

50:09 Adam How about faggy boyfriends?

50:11 Drew Even amongst colleagues, you're not allowed to talk to yourself or somebody could overhear it. So doctors are scared asless to say anything about patients unless the patients direct them in writing what to say and when to say it. So the people actually know what's going on are clammed up. You've got the laypeople, the family, whatnot, distorting things, trying to figure things out, trying to have no idea what they're talking about or what the situation is. They're the ones that are providing information to the press. The press are taking things further and amplifying these sort of stories as always. So it's distorted, amplified misinformation. So there's no way to figure out what's going on. I have to try to decipher, to decode the press now. Whether it comes to any medical issue.

50:53 Adam Well, when you hear collapse on stage from dehydration, you think junkie.

50:58 Drew I think alcohol, yeah, I think drugs. That's the only one. If it's a 20 year old guy.

51:04 Adam Oh, it's great when the guy's gotta pull out a few concert dates because of dehydration.

51:07 Drew That's drugs and alcohol, right? 20 year olds dehydrated.

51:11 Adam Have a Sprite and get back on stage, A-hole.

51:13 Drew You remember the day when you used to do football practice, 105 degree heat, not allowed to drink water. Did you get dehydrated and faint?

51:21 Adam No, but I did miss some concert dates. I had to pull out of the van store that year.

51:26 Drew Yeah, but you were malingering.

51:28 Adam All right, all right. Dehydration. Carrie? You're 27?

51:36 Caller Why have you asked me three times?

51:37 Adam All right, baby doll, that's what we do on the show. I give the name.

51:41 Everclear Radio. Come on.

51:42 Adam I give the name and the number. I don't know how many times I've went to her.

51:46 Caller You want birthdays and all that?

51:49 Adam All right, baby doll. She's calling from Portland, so I'm cutting her some slack.

51:53 Everclear Oh dear.

51:54 Adam What's happening, baby doll?

51:56 Caller Is this Adam?

51:57 Adam Oh boy. Are you drunk?

52:00 Caller Is this Adam?

52:01 Adam Yes. Is this the drunken broad from Portland? Is a pain in my side?

52:06 Caller You sound much more suave coming through my phone than over the radio.

52:11 Adam Listen, I appreciate all of this, but please tell us your problem or we're going to hang up.

52:15 Caller My problem is this. I have been married for about a year now, but I've been with my husband for about 10 years. I'm going to try and say this appropriately so you don't get bleeped. But whenever I give him oral, one of his testicles completely disappears, sucks all the way back into his abdomen.

52:35 Drew Right.

52:36 Caller I can't even hold him down.

52:38 Drew No, hey, Carrie, that's a normal thing. Happens all the time. Many men get that. Some guys get it both sides. And the test goes up in the inguinal canal during the contraction.

52:51 Adam That's why I snap one of those dental rubber bands around.

52:54 Drew That'll stop it. Those are tight.

52:56 Adam Those are real tight.

52:57 Drew You don't need to take the test.

52:58 Adam Do not fall asleep with that thing on.

53:00 Drew Don't dig the test tube.

53:01 Adam Take it off.

53:02 Drew Don't dig the test tube out.

53:03 Caller You don't really have to work on pushing and prying it out of there.

53:06 Drew Carrie, do not do that.

53:09 Adam Why not?

53:09 Drew It will pop out by itself. It'll fall down.

53:13 Caller All right. I'm satisfied. Well, Drew, can you stop it from going out?

53:18 Drew Yeah, if you hold it down, yeah, it won't fall out.

53:21 Caller I just wanted to say to Art also that I saw you out the other night, and you are you're more stunning in person than you are on TV.

53:31 Everclear Oh, where did you see me at? Momos?

53:33 Caller In Portland.

53:34 Everclear Oh, just out and about?

53:36 Caller I won't say where, but at a very swanky little night spot.

53:39 Drew Momos.

53:40 Everclear Momos. Well, it's my friend's bar. It's the only place I go.

53:44 Caller Where?

53:46 Drew Momos. She's got to know where she was.

53:48 Caller No, no, there might have been boobies involved.

53:51 Everclear Yeah.

53:51 Adam Wow.

53:52 Everclear Yeah.

53:54 Drew But maybe Carrie's a performer.

53:57 Everclear Are you a stripper?

53:58 Adam I'd say she cocktails at best. Carrie says.

54:02 Caller Hey, listen, I'm driving through the mountains. I'm going to say thank you guys so much.

54:05 Drew Wait a second. Do you perform at this club?

54:08 Caller No, I don't. I don't. Although, I'd like to, but...

54:12 Everclear You know why in Portland, though? It's the highest rate of women that go to strip clubs with their boyfriends or just with friends and just hang out. It's casual.

54:22 Adam But, no, it's big clubs.

54:27 Everclear It's big clubs. Plus, there's more strip clubs per capita in Portland, Oregon than anywhere else in the country. Yeah, man. People will have like a little diner, a little, you know, just crappy diner, you know, and there'll be like a girl right up here where you're trying to eat your Monte Cristo sandwich and dip it and stuff.

54:47 Adam And you're like, listen, this is a hardware store, sweetie. I'm just coming in. I'm just getting some toggle bolts here. Yeah, I know. I know. We're just, you know, give us some money in the can, what do you think? I like that. I like I like it when when businesses expand a little like I always like the diversify. I like the car wash when you go when you go to the cash register at the car wash and you're standing there and you're gone. Yeah, it's cars can be another 10 minutes. You're looking down. It's like, hey, maybe I'll buy a water pipe or some noon chucks or a quick plate home.

55:19 Drew But isn't that some fruit popcorn with a real mystery in it? What what leads them to choose those objects?

55:24 Everclear Because that's what they like.

55:26 Adam I'll tell you, if you go to there's one in Hollywood that has a mini crossbow pistol, crossbow pistol. I swear to God, like nudie playing cards, noon chucks, weird sort of novelty weapons and as well as like the Kleenex, the road maps, the air fresheners, just bizarre. You know what it is, I really do think that there are guys who just show up at these places and go, look, I can use just two square feet of corner floor space over there. I'll slide in this popcorn machine and you'll make extra 85 bucks a month, what he said.

56:05 Drew So they pay them to do it or something.

56:07 Adam Yeah, I mean, there's just these guys just stuffing things everywhere. I just like, I really like that everything is done.

56:14 Drew So they don't have to have an inventory, these guys maintain the inventory for them, I mean, yeah, they're just hucksters, basically. Things that can't be sold anywhere else, basically.

56:21 Adam It's the mini crossbows next to the bootleg cologne, which is next to the bad jewelry.

56:29 Everclear And then it's really next to the next to the hash pipe or the rack of CDs of people you've never heard of.

56:35 Adam Oh, that's yeah.

56:36 Everclear Ever.

56:36 Adam I love that. Ray Stevens, greatest hits and just like crazy, greatest hits stuff. And then the ones who just have the theme like Gone Truckin. The greatest song to truck to.

56:47 Everclear The best one that has ever showed up in a truck truck truck stop or car wash. The Jazz Wolf. Do you know about the Jazz Wolf?

56:57 Adam No, what is it?

56:57 Everclear Oh, I'm surprised you don't know this, Adam.

57:00 Drew Is it a late night? Is it is it is it? There's there's no about it.

57:04 Everclear There's these you know how in truck stops, you can find like the ambient sound CDs, you know, this and that. Well, this is a cross between like ambient sound of of nature with like bad Kenny G type, you know, smooth jazz. But like you'll be listening to Kenny G like jamming and all of a sudden you hear in the back. Yeah, it's jazz. All the way through.

57:31 Drew Or some of their they have like waves going right. Ocean water.

57:34 Everclear Well, yeah, there's those two. So so it's like you get a massage.

57:38 Adam So it's like the stuff you put on when you're when you're trying to go to sleep or you or you get a massage. But it actually has that day the wolf that gay saxophone, which is more of like an oboe that Kenny G plays. By the way, if I play the sax, I'm offended that he calls that thing you want to bury sex.

57:55 Everclear You don't want to auto sex. That's a soprano.

57:59 Adam So who decided anyone like that garbage, by the way, I know it's he's an easy target. But Drew, I remember you're talking there and stuff sucks compared to the jazz that's out there like, hey, if you want real jazz, you can have it. Yeah. All right. You know what I got? And this is the definition of rape, by the way, for for male, which is you got to be careful when you buy those CDs at the truck stop because it'll say like original hits. And then it turns out it'll be done by, you know, Papa do run run or something like one cover band will do are the Beach Boys and the Beatles and all that crap. I got one. This is diabolical. This is a rich. This is the hits sung by the original artist. But it's not the same.

58:45 Drew It's not the same 30 years later.

58:46 Adam It's them 30 years later and the guy's on a Casio.

58:50 Everclear And so it's like kind of the original recordings.

58:52 Adam Right. This is the original artist. And you start listening and you're thinking, yeah, that doesn't kind of sounds like that grass roots song. And then it's like, but something's different. Like it starts dawning on you all of us immediately worse, though. Yeah. And then you realize that you think, no, but it's still the same guy singing it. And then you realize it's not the arrangement is different. The musician, there are no session musicians. It's the guy with the Casio. Really? Is that what you want to do to your people, by the way? Drag the original singer from the Casio or the grassroots out of the office, bar stool to cut some crap, to fool everybody and put, you know what I mean? All right. And you know what? You know, these are like these pills that add two inches of girth to your penis with the money back guarantee. No one ever goes back, especially a truck stop. What are you going to turn around and drive 600 miles back? Unless I'm going to need my seven dollars.

59:42 Everclear You mean those don't work?

59:44 Adam No, they don't. Cursed them?

59:46 Drew But keep keep trying.

59:50 Adam Kirsten? You're 20? Oh, you got a question for Art?

59:56 Caller Here he is. Art.

59:59 Everclear Is this Kirsten from Washington State?

1:00:01 Caller Yes, it is Art.

1:00:02 Everclear Oh, God. This girl calls into my radio show every week. And she's from Portland. Now, let me explain. She's this is actually very interesting because she's become part of the show. She's from Portland, but she's living up there now and she can't listen to my radio show every Sunday.

1:00:19 Drew So here's it on the phone.

1:00:20 Everclear So what she does is she calls in, we put her on the line and she listens to it online. She's got unlimited minutes on the weekends and it's kind of cool. And every now and then when the phone slow down a little bit, we'll go to her and start talking to her. And she's got a big crush on me, but she was telling me how hot she thought I was. And then she she said that I was to tell him, Kristen, you're on the top of my list of older men to do.

1:00:47 Adam You got to be careful with those old guys.

1:00:53 Everclear Yeah.

1:00:53 Adam Tell them who else they'll stroke out on you.

1:00:56 Caller Tell them who else is on the list, Kristen, and Mark Twain, Kevin Spacey, and Ted Danson.

1:01:09 Everclear But I'm at the top. I'm first.

1:01:12 Adam That's an eclectic list, by the way. You got Baccala and Spacey.

1:01:16 Everclear It's guys with eyebrows, except for Kevin Spacey. It's guys with big chrome magnet eyebrows.

1:01:20 Adam I got some brow. I got enough brow for the both of us.

1:01:23 Drew That's four of the top ten.

1:01:25 Adam Yeah, who else?

1:01:26 Everclear I never heard any of the others.

1:01:28 Adam Yeah, who are they?

1:01:29 Caller You know, that's about it.

1:01:30 Caller I guess I could throw Adam on there, though.

1:01:32 Adam Yeah, I think you could get Baccala, by the way. Yeah, call us publishers. Yeah, well, see, Art, you can't get. Art's too much man for you. Yeah, but Baccala, Baccala's available. That's what I'm saying.

1:01:49 Everclear Yeah, Ted, I think Ted's, I don't think Ted's in the running personally.

1:01:53 Adam No, Ted's in a committed relationship.

1:01:55 Drew So Kirsten, what's your question?

1:01:56 Caller I want to know what you think about the whole same sex marriage thing that just happened in Portland today.

1:02:03 Everclear Oh, they started marrying people. I think it's awesome. Personally, you're asking my opinion? I think it's cool. Who are they hurting? Let them do what they want to do. And I think it's cool for Portland to do that. I was actually very proud when I saw that on the news today.

1:02:17 Adam Thanks, Kirsten. Listen, here's my thing. I think the problem that Bush has is with the actual ceremony. You know, the two dudes standing there.

1:02:26 Everclear So kissing?

1:02:27 Adam Or the two chicks standing there. I feel like...

1:02:31 Everclear If you get it by mail order, it'd be okay?

1:02:32 Adam No, if he said, look, I'll have all the same sex marriage as you want. Oney has got to dress up like a dude. Oney's got to put the beard on and grab a cigar or something.

1:02:44 Drew In other words, everyone's got to look like the two people on the top of the wedding cake. Otherwise, not a wedding.

1:02:48 Adam Oney who needs to dress like the Monopoly guy. Put like a top hat on and a mustache. First off, it'd be funny.

1:02:56 Drew What is his name anyway?

1:02:58 Adam Monopoly guy. Yeah, I think it's just the actual-

1:03:01 Drew The community chest guy.

1:03:02 Adam Because here's the whole thing. Once they're married, I don't think people really have such a difficulty with it. It's really the actual standing there part.

1:03:11 Drew You know what? I have-

1:03:12 Adam One dress is like a dude.

1:03:13 Drew That's all I'm saying. I have like zero feelings about it. It's like whatever. You know what I mean?

1:03:20 Everclear We're fighting about- Well, that's basically why are we talking about this?

1:03:23 Drew Right, it's troubling to me. But what- I can't even swear you read it or write somebody's arguments. I've heard. Because I just don't- It just seems so ridiculous.

1:03:31 Everclear Well, it is ridiculous. And the only reason it's going to come up is because it's an election year.

1:03:35 Adam I was-

1:03:36 Drew But are people really going to get behind it being an issue? And are people that-

1:03:42 Everclear Well, supposedly, even Republican leaders on the Hill are saying that that amendment's never going to happen. It's a dead issue.

1:03:50 Drew I can't imagine it would. And nobody cares.

1:03:53 Adam I was talking to Jimmy about this and I was saying that, I think he was talking about it on a show too, that we should cut a deal with the gays. It's like, I don't know why this doesn't exist in society where Bush goes, okay, listen, you guys can get married, but we're gonna need something in return. You know what I mean? You want something? Fine. You give us somebody or something.

1:04:16 Drew Like somebody.

1:04:17 Adam We'd like rainbows back. You know what I mean? You guys took our rainbows and turned into a gay flag. We, we wish our rainbows. We want the rainbow back and we want to be able to wear like a kerchief on our neck. You know, I'd like to be able to wear, that's something I would like to be able to wear. I'd like that back. Jimmy suggested parades. Like we went, went parades like- Loafers? Yeah, loafers. There's a few, there's apparel, there's symbols. Few symbols. There's a few things we would like to have wrestled back. I was saying, you trade, you want to get married? What's it worth to you? What's it gonna cost you?

1:04:51 Everclear Yeah.

1:04:51 Adam You know, I mean, this is how this country was founded. Right? Give us something.

1:04:55 Drew We traded like that with the Indians. Give us the rainbow back.

1:04:58 Everclear You know what they have? They have that thing that girls have that, you know, when somebody lights your cigarette and you touch their hand, you know, guys, gay guys can do that. If I do that, I'm going to get hit.

1:05:10 Adam Right. We would like, yeah. We would like.

1:05:12 Drew Oh, I see. You want that.

1:05:13 Adam We would like that.

1:05:13 Everclear I don't want that. But I'm saying, I mean, I'll take what I can get. Sure. Why not?

1:05:17 Adam I'd like the rainbow.

1:05:19 Everclear You want the rainbow?

1:05:20 Adam Yeah.

1:05:20 Everclear All right. Here's a question kind of off, cause I'm running a, I'm running kind of a, I'm trying to figure this out because I've been in an argument with someone about this. When a woman does that.

1:05:30 Drew Does what?

1:05:31 Everclear You know what I'm talking about? A guy goes to light her cigarette and she touches his hand.

1:05:34 Drew Yes.

1:05:35 Everclear Yeah. Is she coming on to him?

1:05:36 Drew Yes. Well, no, no. It means she's, you're, is she attracted to him?

1:05:41 Everclear Absolutely. 100%.

1:05:43 Drew I agree. Women will look, as Adam has said a million times, will look for a reason to touch a guy that they are attracted to.

1:05:50 Adam Yes.

1:05:50 Drew That just, just sort of they're inclined to touching somebody if the door is open.

1:05:55 Everclear Absolutely.

1:05:56 Adam Conversely, will treat you like a leper.

1:06:00 Drew Yeah, will wither away from you.

1:06:01 Adam With lesions if she ain't into you. Like feel what it's like, like once in a blue moon, a chick has to hug that guy from the office, it gives him the creeps because it's her birthday or something and they threw a little party or something. It's like an ironing board just tilting against the wall, you know? That's what it feels like. Here's how you know.

1:06:19 Drew Well, you've had that feeling.

1:06:20 Adam Chick, oh yeah. Oh. Chick, in far as you get the pan. Yeah, yeah. It's like they're putting an after shave on your shoulder. You get the slap. It's the one my stepdad gives me because he's not, he's sort of robotic and he's an engineer and he's not sure what to do. So it's always like, see you later there, John. I was like, it's like he's makin a pizza on my back. You know, it's always weird. But the point is, is if a chick likes ya, she'll give you the drag.

1:06:53 Drew She'll hand- Or she'll touch when you're lighting something.

1:06:56 Adam Here, they make excuses to touch. Like, they can't even help it. Like, they'll do this. Like, if you said somethin funny, they'll go, they'll go, they'll go, oh, oh, all right, that's so funny. They'll put their hand- They'll pat you. They will make excuses to touch. Or conversely, make excuses not to touch. Right, so if you get that-

1:07:15 Everclear I agree 100% and I, most men I talk to and even most women I talk to agree with me.

1:07:22 Adam Here is the only caveat.

1:07:24 Everclear The woman I'm having this discussion with absolutely doesn't agree with me, but she does do it with, and I watch her with the same type of guy and a lot of times the same guy.

1:07:37 Adam Ah.

1:07:37 Everclear So it's-

1:07:39 Adam Well-

1:07:39 Drew But think about women though, there's always exceptions with women. They come, there's so many different flavors.

1:07:45 Adam There are- There are a handful of women who need to be desired even if they don't desire the person that desires them.

1:07:54 Everclear 100%, thank you very much.

1:07:57 Adam And that for that person- She will be alluring even if it's with her dad. You know, it's like that's the only way she knows to interact with men.

1:08:06 Everclear And they usually don't even know it.

1:08:07 Adam And they don't know it. So in that case, you could get a woman who touches your hand who has no interest in you because that's her mode.

1:08:14 Drew And that's by the way, that's a sign of somebody if you knew that she was doing that, who would be bewildered if you took it as a, if you sort of started then coming on, she'd be like, well, where'd you get that idea? I would write. Yeah, right.

1:08:27 Adam But if you find a chick who does not do that with other guys and all of a sudden is dragging her hand down your shoulder every five minutes, she's into you.

1:08:36 Everclear Good times.

1:08:37 Adam All right. Let's take ourselves a little break. Art Alexakis here tonight from Everclear. We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back.

1:08:47 Caller 1-800-LOVE-191.

1:09:04 Adam Godsmack coming in here tomorrow night. Art here tonight from Everclear. We're going to get back to the phones. I'm seeing a threesome question. And then there's Tasha down here. Nothing can help.

1:09:18 Drew 96 minutes, Tasha.

1:09:20 Adam 96 minutes on hold.

1:09:21 Drew 103 for Christina over there.

1:09:24 Adam Well, Drew, you've been rambling on about your horribly ill-fated movie ideas and television shows. Let's talk to Edward because he's only been on hold for 10 minutes and Christina's been on hold for 104 minutes. And Tasha, we should wait till she gets up to 100 minutes because she's been on 97 and a half minutes.

1:09:44 Drew We will succeed, I'm sure.

1:09:46 Adam Edward?

1:09:49 Drew What's up?

1:09:50 Adam Now I made a supposed mistake. You're 19, what's up?

1:09:53 Caller Well, I started going out with this girl, I guess, let's see, October of last year, three days after my birthday, I'm 16 and I was-

1:10:04 Adam Hold on, I already don't like him with the three days after my birthday.

1:10:07 Drew I sort of almost don't believe it.

1:10:09 Adam What, he wants to send a sweater out?

1:10:11 Drew Yeah, what was that about? Why, why did, what was motivating him to say all that?

1:10:14 Adam It's, it's supreme narcissism.

1:10:16 Drew That or bogosity, one or the other.

1:10:18 Adam Go ahead, Edward.

1:10:19 Caller Uh, it was just, we started dating and then we got serious towards like December and stuff and started going out. And, um, we ended up, one of my good friends, we went partying over at my girlfriend's house and, um, we all were drinking and stuff and, and they both had gone upstairs and like, I started going at it and I came upstairs.

1:10:42 Adam They both, that's, that's your girlfriend and your friend.

1:10:45 Caller Yeah.

1:10:47 Drew So, uh, male and a female.

1:10:49 Caller Female.

1:10:50 Drew Two females.

1:10:52 Caller Yeah. And you know, I wanted like a-

1:10:55 Adam By the way, hold on, just to, this one might cut you off. When you say, uh, you and your friend went over to your girlfriend's house, uh, you gotta specify female friend.

1:11:03 Drew It usually means your buddy.

1:11:05 Everclear I saw two guys walking through that door.

1:11:07 Caller Yeah.

1:11:07 Adam So, uh, so now the two chicks are upstairs, getting it on. They don't invite you, they just steal away?

1:11:14 Caller Oh, well, they'd invited me, I was just downstairs, walking everybody out and stuff and making sure that I had designated drivers and all that. So. Sure. Get a phone call that one of my friends was passing around, so I said it's nothing. Yeah. But anyway, I'd gone upstairs and I heard her like, screaming like I've never heard the scream before. It wasn't even like an intimate scream. I guess you would call it like a pleasureful scream.

1:11:38 Everclear Right, right. A what kind of scream?

1:11:40 Drew Pleasureful, I think you said.

1:11:41 Adam Pleasureful.

1:11:41 Everclear Pleasureful, oh yeah, sure.

1:11:43 Caller When when I walked up there.

1:11:44 Adam Pleasureful, it's like a 40s tobacco ad.

1:11:49 Drew I'd rather fight than switch.

1:11:50 Everclear Old gold. Pleasureful.

1:11:52 Adam Pleasureful in every puff. All right. So she had a pleasureful scream.

1:11:59 Caller And when I walked up there, she was up on the headboard. My girlfriend was up on the headboard and my female friend was fingering her. But like fingering.

1:12:11 Adam Hold on. Hold on a second. I love a good fingering story, but this is bogus or you're just an idiot.

1:12:16 Drew Yeah, this is bogus.

1:12:17 Everclear Can I go get some popcorn?

1:12:19 Drew And grab a paper towel and he started talking.

1:12:22 Adam Oh, and some of that imitation butter on the side, on the side, on the side.

1:12:26 Drew You can dip the popcorn into it.

1:12:28 Adam Not the popcorn. Edward. This is bogus.

1:12:35 Everclear Why are you doing this? Why? What would he get out of it? Let's see.

1:12:39 Adam And how did it happen? And God, you know, is there anything worse than a 19 year old guy? Is there any any creature worse? No.

1:12:51 Everclear 17? At least no, I get to see 19 is worse because they're out of school. The 17 year olds have the excuse of still being a minor. The 19 year olds, I get them all the time. They're the worst callers that call in the show. The 19 or 20 year olds that live at home with their parents in the suburbs.

1:13:08 Adam The worst. Absolutely.

1:13:10 Everclear Their takes on politics, on relations between men and women, are just askewed, no, they're screwed.

1:13:19 Drew They become construction workers like, what's your guys name that you used to kick your ass all the time?

1:13:26 Adam Mike Stramat?

1:13:27 Drew Stramat.

1:13:28 Adam Wow, that's a guy who worked on a minesweep in Vietnam and was hooked on pain pills. By the way, no worse foreman to have than the Vietnam vet who did a couple tours on the minesweep and is strung out on pain meds. Yeah, that's good times. That's a great guy to see at 7 a.m.

1:13:48 Everclear Good times.

1:13:49 Adam Oh yeah.

1:13:52 Everclear This is a better job.

1:13:53 Adam I'll tell you, this dude, this guy was the meanest guy I ever met in my life and used to make these proclamations where he would say, look, I'm going to get, he would say stuff like if two guys were sitting on scaffolding a couple of stories up doing some tuck work, some repointing work, meaning take an old brick building on the side of the brick, you'd have to take a grinder and buzz out the old mortar. By the way, think about a horrible job that if you buzz out the old mortar just an inch or so deep and then you take new mortar and use a tuck trowel just a half inch thick and you stuff new mortar into the thing. Well, on an old brick building the mortar starts to decay and it starts to come undone. You can literally take your finger and pick it out. So obviously you can't take it all out. You got to take out the outer layer and it's called repointing. Anyway, me and another guy just sitting up there and some guy named Doug just sitting feet hanging off the scaffolding repointing. He walks by, stop talking, no conversation between the radio or anything. We're sitting as far away as I am from you fixing the bricks. He didn't like the conversing during the thing.

1:15:05 Drew But be fair, you probably ramble on a bit then too.

1:15:07 Adam I wasn't. You know me, I'm not a talker. The point is, Mike would make the announcement that one of you is going to quit by the end of the week. I will get you to quit. I will ride you so hard you will quit. I'm not going to fire you. You will beg. You will beg to quit.

1:15:24 Everclear Was it true?

1:15:25 Adam He fired a lot of guys. He was an a-hole. He was a mean, mean dude, and he'd scare you physically. But the greatest story is the only thing the guy ever liked was this puppy he had named Buckwheat. And he loved Buckwheat. And it was the only time you ever saw the guy smile. Like he'd come in, he'd start yelling at everyone, and then he'd be like, come here, Buckwheat. You know, people compensate with their pets, their colossal pricks, and then their sweetest sugar with the pets. As a matter of fact, I hate to say it, but most of the PDA holes are this way, too. It's like they love pets, they hate people. Really, they're much worse to people than are to pets. He loved Buckley. One day, we're working on a job right here in Wilshire, and he told the one guy I used to ride all the time, Jeff Gaines. He said, Jeff, you watch Buckwheat while I'm gone. I'll be back in an hour. He took off down the driveway in his pickup truck. The dog started chasing the truck, ran out onto Wilshire. Mike just turned his truck onto Wilshire and started driving away. Buckwheat got squashed. But Mike just drove away. And this guy, Jeff, was like, oh my God, oh my God, he's going to come back in an hour. We kind of like replace Buckwheat. We've got to get like a new dog and pay him. Like everyone just spread out. Like, oh, this is Jeff. Sorry, buddy. We're splitting. I mean, you're on your own here. Yeah. I mean, we thought he was going to like physically assault him, you know, when he came back. Like, where's Buckwheat? I left you in charge of. No worse guy to do that. I left you in charge of and the dog's dead. Yeah, it's good.

1:16:52 Drew What happened? He got back.

1:16:53 Adam He freaked out. Yeah. I don't think he did. I don't think he.

1:16:57 Drew You were you were out at the site at that point.

1:16:58 Caller You split.

1:17:00 Adam I'm not. Oh, way. Am I going to be around here with Buckwheat when you deliver Buckwheat's corpse to Mike? It'd be horrible.

1:17:06 Everclear Now, did Mike run over his own dog?

1:17:08 Adam No, another another car ran over it, but he the dog was chasing Mike's truck when it got ran over on Wilshire. It's good times. Good times. Tasha.

1:17:18 Caller Yeah.

1:17:19 Adam You're 16. What's happened?

1:17:21 Caller OK, so I am man, depressive and I have a lot of anxiety and whatever non pleasant things and I have been on various medications for like the last three years and nothing worked. I'm like at my wit's end right now. I just, I don't know, is there any other like form of, I don't know, something to help me besides medication?

1:17:44 Drew What are the symptoms you're trying to control?

1:17:45 Caller Just anxiety and depression and I don't know, that.

1:17:52 Drew And who made the diagnosis?

1:17:56 Caller I don't know, a doctor from a hospital I've been in.

1:17:59 Drew A psychiatric hospital?

1:18:02 Adam Yeah. And you were in, you were admitted into this psychiatric hospital?

1:18:05 Caller I've been in about 10 or 12 and I'm in 13.

1:18:08 Adam Oh really? You're closing in on the record. What's up?

1:18:14 Drew Well, you have more than just bipolar illness, right?

1:18:17 Caller Yeah.

1:18:18 Drew You're what, borderline personality?

1:18:19 Caller Mm-hmm.

1:18:21 Drew So, that is, what you need to think of is that in addition to having this bipolar condition where your mood fluctuates wildly and rapidly between very, very high highs and very, very low lows, there's also a deficiency in your ability to sort of regulate your feelings and feel complete as a person and maintain boundaries, and that's something you've got to work on in therapy. So, are you getting therapy? Well, it takes a long time, and I bet you have had times where you've been under control, just you're not right now. And one of the things about being borderline is you can't tolerate frustration and you're a patient and it feels like an emergency right now. Everything seems very dramatic.

1:19:02 Adam What are some things she can do other than go to therapy twice a week?

1:19:05 Drew What medicines are you on right now?

1:19:08 Caller I am on deodone, effector, and transom.

1:19:13 Drew And have you been on mood stabilizers recently?

1:19:16 Caller Yeah.

1:19:17 Drew What ones? So that's one thing you can do, get back on a mood stabilizer.

1:19:22 Adam I don't always get back to this, but how about some exercise?

1:19:25 Drew Exercise, classical music, a stable relationship, all that would be very good. That's right.

1:19:29 Adam Long walks, put them headphones on, listen to classical music.

1:19:33 Everclear That'll do it.

1:19:33 Adam And mellow your mind.

1:19:34 Caller All right.

1:19:35 Drew And also, but spending time with friends, just talking, people who...

1:19:38 Caller That's another problem. I can't have relations with anybody.

1:19:42 Drew Yeah. Do you kind of freak them out? Yeah. Yeah. Well, somebody will care about you. You have to make sure it's not somebody needs to fix you. How about going to a 12-step program? Maybe, you know, there's something called Emotions Anonymous.

1:19:55 Adam Really?

1:19:55 Drew Yeah. And that's, again, the idea being that you can create a structured relationship with somebody when you have trouble maintaining those kinds of boundaries.

1:20:02 Adam Really? When did this one pop up?

1:20:04 Drew It's been around. I'm not sure. I don't usually recommend it because I'm not clear what it's doing, but Tasha's just looking for a way to have a relationship.

1:20:12 Adam When do you have a cake after you've been talking to people for a year, should you be giving a cake?

1:20:16 Drew Yeah, I don't know what the recovery part is in the EA.

1:20:19 Adam Oh, I can see my mom getting involved with that group.

1:20:21 Drew Yeah.

1:20:22 Adam Yeah, that would be trouble.

1:20:23 Drew That's sort of my concern is that to be a bunch of your mom's there, and now what's going to happen?

1:20:30 Adam I think she used to go to OA meetings.

1:20:32 Drew Yeah. Yeah.

1:20:33 Adam It was always great. Yeah. A lot of meetings, a lot of groups. Corolla's like the groups. Christina? Christina?

1:20:42 Drew Sleeping. Let's listen.

1:20:47 Adam Yeah, chicks don't snore. She's only been on hold for 114 minutes, well 115 minutes. This guy's got a quick automotive question. Pete? Yeah. You're 25? Yeah. What's happening? You got an automotive question? I do. Yeah.

1:21:05 Caller I have a Jeep with a 5-liter V8 in it. Boring.

1:21:09 Adam What year is it?

1:21:12 Caller 85, right?

1:21:13 Drew Ooh, 20 years old.

1:21:14 Adam Is it, it's carb, it's carbureted?

1:21:17 Caller Yeah.

1:21:18 Caller It's got a mid-acceleration, well, not acceleration, when you maintain speed, a backfire. Mm-hmm.

1:21:25 Adam What is that? What causes that?

1:21:27 Caller Yeah.

1:21:28 Adam By the way, I miss backfires. Remember you see your backfires?

1:21:33 Drew I was convinced I was getting a shot.

1:21:34 Adam Yeah, backfires are awesome.

1:21:36 Everclear You don't really hear backfires a lot.

1:21:38 Adam No, you don't hear them anymore.

1:21:39 Everclear Because when I hear backfires, now they're probably guns, huh?

1:21:41 Adam Yeah, they are guns.

1:21:42 Everclear They are guns.

1:21:43 Drew We used to think they were guns. Now they are.

1:21:44 Adam Backfires are awesome. They are when fuel that is not combusted goes down the exhaust pipe and then re-ignites inside the exhaust manifold or even the tailpipe somewhere. Somewhere along its travels reignites and that's what that boom is. So and I'm not an expert on it, but I did have a friend, actually the same guy I used to carpool with through these horrible construction jobs, drove a VW van and he could get his car to backfire on cue by like he'd pop it in neutral, push on the gas, flood it a little, drop it back in the gear and pow! You know he's doing it on the freeway, under the freeway in the tunnel underneath and there would be like kids walking to school and he'd just come sliding across and drop it in and just boom and watch everyone hit the deck. It was good times.

1:22:38 Everclear Yeah, I had a friend with a Baja bug that could do that.

1:22:40 Drew Well, so what's wrong with the Peets?

1:22:42 Adam Well, okay, here's the thing. The gas is not being combusted properly and it's running rich. It's using up fuel. Something's happened. Okay, so maybe you got a bad, you may have a bad, Pete, bad cylinder, I bet you got a bad cylinder. Guys, listen, check your distributor cap and then check your rotor inside of that and then maybe even check your wires. Let's try that.

1:23:09 Drew What is that?

1:23:10 Adam Couldn't hurt. What's that? It might have a cylinder that's not burning the fuel.

1:23:16 Drew Right. What does the distributor have to do with that?

1:23:18 Adam The distributor is sending the spark through the wire to the spark plugs and if you've got a bad cap or bad rotor, the number six cylinder may not be getting a spark and never igniting.

1:23:28 Drew I got it.

1:23:29 Adam That's the only thing I can think of. It's something with the carburetor, something with the distributor cap. Check that. Art Alexakis is here tonight from Everclear. Alright, I start talking about car distributor caps and I saw Art start to wilt.

1:23:41 Drew Yeah, I didn't see me wilt.

1:23:44 Adam Not you, but Art was like, I saw one lid closing.

1:23:47 Everclear You know what? I haven't been sleeping a lot lately.

1:23:50 Adam What's the matter, buddy? Do you want me to come over and talk about cars tonight?

1:23:55 Everclear Would you mind?

1:23:56 Drew In fact, you can talk about whatever you want, Adam, about the cars.

1:23:59 Everclear That's true.

1:24:00 Adam Politics, it doesn't matter.

1:24:01 Everclear No.

1:24:03 Adam I could. You'd be sawing logs in no time.

1:24:06 Everclear Man, that would be great.

1:24:07 Adam I'll tell you what I will do if it's a really problem.

1:24:09 Everclear Just call me on the old hotel phone. I'll just leave it next to the bed and you can just start talking about like.

1:24:15 Adam High school football story.

1:24:16 Everclear Hemis.

1:24:17 Adam Pow. You go right under. All right. Art is here. He's going to stay awake for one more break. One more break. We'll be right back after this.

1:24:46 Everclear Hey everybody, it's Love Line.

1:24:48 Adam Art Alexakis is here tonight from Everclear, of course.

1:24:52 Drew Of course.

1:24:53 Adam Drew up early.

1:24:55 Drew Putting a day with Eugene Levy and the Olsen Twins.

1:24:57 Adam Putting his finishing touches on this Olsen Twins movie.

1:25:02 Drew Yeah, good times.

1:25:02 Adam New York Minute coming out. Coming out pretty soon, right?

1:25:05 Drew May 7th or 8th, something like that.

1:25:07 Adam All right, Eric says I was wrong about the backfire, so let's just take care of him real fast before we go on. Eric.

1:25:12 Hey, what's happening?

1:25:13 Adam Tell us how backfire works.

1:25:15 Oh, Adam, I love you to death, but I couldn't believe you were wrong on this one.

1:25:18 Adam I don't know that much about backfires, to tell you the truth.

1:25:22 Generally, if it's happening on deceleration, it'll be caused by a vacuum leak or unburnt fuel, something of that nature. But if it's happening while you're driving at a constant speed, most likely, it's the ignition system arcing off the block itself, like a bad wire arcing off a manifold or something.

1:25:40 Adam And it's igniting in the exhaust manifold?

1:25:43 No, it's not igniting at all. It's actually creating an arc between the wire and the metal of the block.

1:25:51 Adam And where's the backfire occurring, though?

1:25:54 It's in the tailpipe.

1:25:56 Adam How does the arc get to the tailpipe to ignite it?

1:26:01 It's magic, but I don't know the specifics. I know the symptoms and the remedy.

1:26:08 Adam All right, but it's unburnt fuel being reignited in the tailpipe, right?

1:26:14 It could be unburnt fuel, but you still got to know what to look for.

1:26:16 Caller All right, all right.

1:26:18 Drew You were at 90 percent, right?

1:26:20 Adam Well, I said it was unburnt fuel that was reigniting in the tailpipe. But all right. And I said that...

1:26:28 Drew You're way off, by the way.

1:26:30 Adam Well, I said it was arcing on me. I said, check the distributor camp and the plug wire.

1:26:33 Drew He said it was the starter system?

1:26:36 Adam No, it's not the starter system. Face is something arcing off the block. Well, anyway, Christina, I always liked this one, too. Uh, Adam, hey, I love your work. Can't believe what I heard.

1:26:44 Drew You're so far off.

1:26:46 Adam Yeah, no, this is in the tailpipe, like you said, in the unburnt fuel reigniting. Listen, I don't know that much about that stuff, but I'd still say it was a pretty good description of it.

1:27:00 Drew That's close.

1:27:01 Adam Christina? It was exactly what happened.

1:27:04 Drew He's mad you didn't specify between mid-speed and deceleration.

1:27:08 Adam There's many different ways it could happen. I don't know what that answer is. Christina?

1:27:14 Drew She's still sleeping.

1:27:14 Adam Oh, yeah. What are we talking to her for?

1:27:16 Drew Just see if she's awake.

1:27:17 Adam She went a hole for 125 minutes now, Drew. All right, let's talk to, uh, Susie, who's 26. Susie?

1:27:26 How are you doing?

1:27:27 Adam Good. What's up?

1:27:29 Um, actually, my question is pretty short and to the point. I, uh, just started, um, really, uh, spending relationships with my high school sweetheart.

1:27:41 Drew Spending relationships? Is that what she said?

1:27:44 Well, spending time with, I guess.

1:27:47 Adam With your high school sweetheart?

1:27:49 Yeah.

1:27:50 Adam And when did you guys break up? In high school?

1:27:53 Uh, no. We were actually together until I was almost 21, and so it's been five years.

1:27:59 Drew Why did you break up?

1:28:01 Um, cause we were young, cause we were young, cause we were young.

1:28:04 Drew What does that mean?

1:28:06 Um, well, I guess with any relationship, when you're that young.

1:28:09 Drew Suzie, what were the reasons you broke up? If I had talked to you when you were 21, what would you have told me?

1:28:15 Adam True, she was young.

1:28:16 Drew I understand, in retrospect, but at 21, what would you have said the reason was then?

1:28:21 The reason I would say is that we owned a business, and the more money that came in between us, and as the business was growing, um, things got a little bit shaky in regards to trust, in regards to...

1:28:34 Drew Alright, Suzie, stop. Let me translate. The boyfriend wanted to screw around and in fact started to screw around. Is that right?

1:28:43 Caller No, he would have never cheated on me.

1:28:45 Never.

1:28:46 Drew Well, what was the trust issue then?

1:28:47 Adam It was kind of cathartic then. It was about the cash register. The guy was dipping into...

1:28:52 I think, I mean, I don't really know what... He was a bit more overweight than I was, I guess. And so there were some insecurity issues on his parts. And, I mean, it got to the point where his jealousy issues... I was coming home from the grocery store and he would give me a hug and check my back pockets for a phone number from the bag boy. I mean, it was just absolutely ridiculous.

1:29:14 Adam Maybe he was just seeing if you had some candy on you or something. He was jealous you were around all that food.

1:29:20 Drew He became very controlling. All right.

1:29:22 Adam What kind of business did you guys have?

1:29:25 I'd rather not say.

1:29:26 Adam All right. I've had an asshole.

1:29:28 Drew So it's just speaking in little riddles.

1:29:32 Adam It's like, here's to everybody. You don't have to tell us. Fine. Don't tell us. I don't care.

1:29:40 Everclear And don't call.

1:29:41 Adam But I'm hanging up on you.

1:29:42 Caller Yeah.

1:29:42 Adam That's the whole thing. Here's the deal on this show. If I ask a question, you give an answer. If you're right or not, say, that's fine. But we're moving on. All right. Give me one last chance. Susie.

1:29:53 Caller Yes.

1:29:54 Adam You got 10 seconds to tell us the business you guys ran.

1:29:57 Caller To tell you what?

1:29:58 Adam To tell us the business you guys ran.

1:30:01 Caller It was an eyeglass fix shop.

1:30:05 Adam Aha!

1:30:05 Drew How dare you? I'm shocked. What kind of maniacs would own that kind of business?

1:30:12 Adam You crazy kids with your miniature screwdrivers. Your super tiny screwdrivers. All right. I'd rather not say. What the hell is wrong? All right. I'm done with you. You know what I don't like? I don't like people do that stuff like, listen, I got an idea for a script. Oh, what is it?

1:30:30 Drew I can't talk.

1:30:31 Adam I can't talk about it. Oh, shut up, you self-important blowhard. I'd rather not say. I've never even said that about anything ever. It's either just shut up or or I'll tell you. But it's not. I'd rather it. You know what it is? It's like you got a super boring, crappy business. And if you said rather not say now, it's all of a sudden you're James Bond, who is very intriguing. Must be some. I'm picturing a black attache case made out of ballistic steel handcuffed to her. She walks to the airport heading to a charter jet for destinations unknown. Stuffing Wayfair lenses back into it after fat people sit on their sunglasses. Fantastic. I'm done with everyone, Drew.

1:31:13 Drew I'm with you.

1:31:14 Adam I've had an ass full of society.

1:31:15 Drew For change, I'm with you. Let's talk to Christina.

1:31:17 Adam She's asleep. I want to see Christina.

1:31:20 Drew Best call of the night.

1:31:21 Adam One hundred and twenty nine minutes. Wait, wait.

1:31:25 Drew Leave her on there.

1:31:27 Adam I don't know. I don't know what the Loveline on hold record is, Drew. But one twenty nine is getting it's getting close.

1:31:32 Drew I don't think anyone's ever been at two hundred.

1:31:34 Caller No, it was really close to two hundred one night. We just started just short.

1:31:37 Adam Really close to two hundred minutes on hold. True. Why didn't you get to them? Are you telling more stories? Art died when I started talking about backfiring. That was it.

1:31:51 Everclear Yeah, it did get me sleepy, but I'm back. Talk about something sexy.

1:31:55 Adam He was like, you know once in a while you leave one of those candles out in the sun?

1:31:59 Drew It is real.

1:32:00 Adam Yeah, it's like you throw that party tent on the picnic table and the next day it comes down to just.

1:32:05 Drew Well, we'll have to talk about it on the break though, Art.

1:32:07 Everclear Okay.

1:32:08 Drew All right.

1:32:09 Adam We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back.

1:32:11 Caller Alright guys, here's the deal.

1:32:13 Caller You're looking to hook up, sick of wasting time with the wrong person?

1:32:17 Drew One call is all you need to make.

1:32:18 Caller Call the Dateline. 877-889-DATE.

1:32:21 Caller Call the Dateline.

1:32:44 Adam Well, everybody, there's the show. Godsmack in here tomorrow night. I want to thank Dear, Dear, Dear, Dear, Dear friend, Art, for coming in. You can look for Best of Everclear coming out soon enough, and look for Art coming to a town near you, probably with his acoustic guitar.

1:33:05 Everclear Yeah, probably.

1:33:06 Drew Good times. He'll be awake though when he arrives at your town.

1:33:09 Everclear Oh, come on, I looked sleepy a little bit.

1:33:11 Adam You drive home with the window open. I don't want you to fall asleep on the road.

1:33:14 Everclear Oh, I'm going to just.

1:33:15 Adam He's going down here.

1:33:17 Everclear I'm going to cuddle up in the front seat like a big cat.

1:33:22 Adam Those are the good old days, falling asleep in the car. Isn't that true? Now I just you get drunk and pass out, but you don't really fall asleep.

1:33:29 Everclear Yeah, too bad your dad can't carry you to bed.

1:33:32 Adam Oh, my dad barely get a fanny pack from the driveway into the house. We're going to if you put like a number two pencil in it, it would stop it. Couldn't do it. We'll take a extendo break. And until next time, this Adam Carolla for Dr. Drew saying mahalo.

1:33:48 Caller I was to tell him, Kristen, you're on the top of my list of older men to do.

1:33:57 Caller This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on the show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors or this station. The producer for Loveline is Annie Gold. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Wednesday, March 3, 2004