Episode 1000589723172

0:54 Voiceover Loveline may contain sexually-oriented content.

1:00 Voiceover Loveline with Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew.

1:05 Voiceover I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. Phone number, 1-800-LOVE-191. Dr. Drew, board certified physician, addiction medicine specialist. Drew, what's going on? Don't be sipping off your coffee this second. You gotta talk, buddy. Come on. What do you got for me?

1:21 Drew I got nothing.

1:22 Adam What's going on?

1:23 Drew Nothing, really. What's up with you?

1:25 Adam No. Nothing on your chest. Nothing you want to get off there?

1:27 Drew No.

1:28 Adam No?

1:28 Drew Just listening to you talking about your house. Mm-hmm.

1:31 Adam It's good.

1:31 Drew Is this not my shit beginning on my chest?

1:33 Adam I don't know. I don't know what you know. No thoughts, no feelings? No.

1:39 Drew All right.

1:39 Adam What's the matter?

1:40 Drew I had kind of a funky day. I woke up, let's tell you the end of the story. I woke up in kind of a bad mood this morning and I can't even explain why. I just was sort of depressed.

1:46 Adam Yeah.

1:47 Drew Yeah, sometimes I wake up that way. And I was doing my rounds this morning at the hospital and I thought, oh my God, I really just don't feel good. I need to just talk to a friend. I need to talk to somebody, get something to figure out what's going on here. I go, there's this one guy. This guy's number popped into my head. I thought, oh, well, he's going to call today. A guy I have not talked to in 18 months. And I thought, I'll talk to him. He's a psychiatrist friend of mine. I thought, I'll talk to him. Two hours later, calls. Really? Yeah, his number, boom, on my paper. And when you're totally convinced something's going to happen and it happens, it's like, yeah, uh-huh, I told you. It's like you're not surprised. It's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It already happened in my head anyway.

2:24 Adam Right.

2:24 Drew That's strange.

2:25 Adam Yeah, yeah, well, sort of. I mean, we're not gonna make a movie about it or anything, but it is, well, let's put it this way. You know, I'm an atheist. I'm not into all that astrology or numerology or any of that stuff. But we're talking in a microphone. It's traveling via an invisible wavelength into other people's radios and then coming out in the shape of our voice. Is that what I'm saying?

2:58 Drew My head just exploded.

2:59 Adam All I'm saying is, is I wouldn't be too surprised if there's things that are just sort of buzzing around out there that you pick up or that he picks up that, I mean, why not? I mean, look, if I can say there's no microphone and some jack-off listener in Milwaukee can be sitting around in his bed and hearing what I'm saying in real time, why can't you, having a strong thought about somebody, somehow go out in the air and get picked up somewhere? I don't want to get all cosmic, but you know what I'm saying? There's things out there. I don't think it's another power. I just think it's us.

3:32 Drew Do you ever think Martians are beaming thoughts into your head or when the television news is being broadcasted being directly to you, the broadcasters talking to you?

3:41 Adam No.

3:41 Drew No.

3:42 Adam But I do have a thought, shut up, about the fact that we're humans, and we're sort of animals first, and civilized society second, and we cover everything up with a lot of perfume and kiss and potion and bad-framed glasses, but ultimately-

4:00 Drew I beg your pardon.

4:01 Adam I know I was looking at you when I said that, but that's not what I meant. I was thinking of my brother-in-law, the German guy. What are you gonna do, crazy? What happened? What happened with the Germans? As you're-

4:11 Drew Guilty.

4:12 Adam One minute's like, hey, we must destroy all Jews and control Europe and the world. And the next minute is, is we gotta get really funky shoes and really crazy rims on our glasses. They shifted, that's where they went?

4:26 Drew Yeah, that's where they went. Oh, the energy's gotta go somewhere.

4:28 Adam It didn't seem like a logical progression from a destroy all Jews, control world, to I gotta get some funky frames. But that seems to be where every ounce of their energy is going these days. All right, anyway, here's-

4:40 Drew I heard Hitler talk about it just before he killed himself.

4:42 Adam Here's my boy. Maybe that was his last and greatest piece of work, that secret decree that went out, that all Germans get the crazy big duck-billed shoes and funky glasses that are always a little bit too small. That's the whole thing.

4:56 Drew A lot bit too small.

4:57 Adam These are a little bit too small. They're right there. They're right there. You have a narrow face and a slender face, so that's fine. But the sort of mini Andy Dick type glasses, I'm not sure what the point is with that.

5:10 Drew Okay, anyway.

5:11 Adam Here's my point. If radio waves, if there's many microwaves, there's many invisible waves that are floating around out there and then just get picked up by an antenna, everything, why can't we create a few waves that get picked up?

5:26 Drew I'm resisting answering that rhetorical question.

5:29 Adam You know what I'm saying.

5:32 Drew But there's reasons why the radio creates waves and then the receiver that's constructed to pick it up picks it up.

5:37 Adam Yeah, no, I'm hip. I just mean, you know.

5:40 Drew There's things we don't understand.

5:41 Adam We don't understand everything about how the brain works.

5:44 Drew That's right.

5:45 Adam Think about how much more we know now than we knew 10 years ago.

5:49 Drew I gotta tell you something. Last year, I've been getting really into brain research and brain mechanisms and it's amazing, fascinating.

5:58 Adam It's in its infancy though.

6:00 Drew It's in its infancy, but we're starting to figure some stuff out.

6:02 Adam All right, but think about the stuff we're gonna know 50 years from now.

6:05 Drew Yeah, crazy. In the last three years, stuff's just exploded.

6:09 Adam We may know things 50 years from now that we think is sort of science fiction or fantasy now that might turn out to be a little more like what we're talking about. All right, but good times. Good times.

6:22 Drew What kind of mood are you in to bring up all that crap?

6:24 Adam You brought it up.

6:26 Drew Francisco 16.

6:27 Yeah, hello? Hey, I'm a long time listener. First time caller.

6:32 Adam Thanks.

6:33 You guys are so awesome, man. Adam, you're like a God to us.

6:38 Adam Us.

6:38 That's like a group of us that kind of listen to Loveline.

6:43 Adam They're called disciples. Thank you. Speaking of vomit, David Allen Grier.

6:50 Drew Speaking of prophets.

6:51 Adam Otherwise known as Dag, otherwise known as my main man in here tomorrow night.

6:55 Guy's a genius.

6:57 Adam Yes, he is.

6:58 Yeah, I have a question about condoms.

7:00 Is there a difference between like a, you know, a cheaper brand of condoms and like a more expensive brand or?

7:06 Drew You know, here's the-

7:08 Adam Yes, the price.

7:12 Drew What's the weather out there? I'm nervous. Anyway, as with anything else in our culture, you pretty much get what you pay for. So you gotta kind of keep that in mind. The thing to watch-

7:23 Adam Buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh. Let me say this. Well, you get what you pay for when it's, you're talking about a car or something. But a condom has to have sort of a minimum quality or failure point.

7:34 Drew Who says?

7:35 Adam I don't know. I would imagine that, I don't know, the CDC or the FDA or the whoever, or consumer, consumer, you know, whatever the consumer control groups are. I mean, I would imagine a condom is almost a medical device, isn't it?

7:51 Drew Yeah, but I don't think the FDA controls. I don't know this, but I don't think they do. They just be tested. They do are tested and they get rated, but I don't think they'll get taken away if they don't reach a certain rating. I don't know that.

8:00 Adam Well then, put it this way, there must be some liability with condoms.

8:06 Drew You would think so. The colored ones apparently are really bad.

8:10 Adam Okay, Drew, now stop it.

8:11 Drew I'm sorry, Adam.

8:12 Adam You're being racist now. You really are.

8:16 Drew I mean, the tutti frutti colors, the funky colors. Oh, I see. Yeah, clearly those are not as good. And generally, you wanna stay with the brand names. They stand by their products, okay?

8:31 All right, I live in Hickville, and I always gotta be careful about that kind of stuff.

8:36 Adam Yeah, no you don't. Even Hickville has Trojan condoms and other brand names.

8:43 Drew Yeah, I don't know if anywhere it doesn't have Trojan.

8:45 Adam Hey, let me ask you this there, Drew. Has there ever been a case where someone has sued a condom manufacturer?

8:52 Drew We're way outside of my fund of knowledge. I don't know, I look it up during the program.

8:55 Adam Way outside, you've been the spokesman for.

8:57 Drew I don't know if anybody sued them, though. I don't know.

8:59 Adam You gotta look into these companies before you get involved in them, before you sell them your name, your good name. It would seem that if a condom broke and you could prove that the condom was used correctly and that it was faulty and that somebody got pregnant, it just feels like there might be a little compensation there. Michelle?

9:19 Drew Michelle?

9:21 Adam That's all I need to hear. Daniel?

9:26 What's up, man?

9:27 Adam You're 20?

9:28 Caller Yeah. 20 years old.

9:29 Adam All right. What's happening?

9:32 Caller I got a question. Like let's say on a routine basis when my girl and I are having sex, it's pretty routinely that, you know, I'll get off right before she does.

9:43 Drew On a routine basis? Not on a special occasion? No.

9:46 Caller I mean, pretty much. You know, like...

9:48 Drew Every time?

9:49 Caller Yeah, exactly. Okay.

9:50 Drew Yes. Thank you.

9:54 Caller We've been together for about a year now, and she's been on the pill, you know, the whole time we've been together, and I still use condoms. Is it safe for me to, you know, finish the job, even though I've already gotten off?

10:08 Adam Mm-hmm.

10:08 Caller With the condom on?

10:10 Drew And she's on the pill?

10:11 Caller Exactly.

10:12 Adam Yeah. Yes.

10:13 Drew Yeah. The condom is an unnecessary, but, you know, extra, extra safe technique.

10:22 Caller Exactly, yeah.

10:23 Drew Yeah. But you don't have to worry about it functioning perfectly, because the pill is an excellent birth control by itself.

10:28 Adam Well, it's like using a pothole holder and an oven mittens, you know.

10:34 Drew Together.

10:34 Adam It couldn't hurt, but it's sort of unnecessary.

10:38 Caller I'm going the extra mile here.

10:40 Drew You know, my daughter is a huge Elvis fan all of a sudden. She wants to go to Memphis, where Daniel's from.

10:45 Adam Really?

10:45 Drew And visit...

10:47 Adam What the? How's your daughter getting Elvis?

10:49 Drew I don't know. It's weird.

10:52 Adam How's this work?

10:55 Drew She wants to go to Graceland.

10:57 Adam Now your wife's going to hit me up. The kids want to go to Graceland. You want to donate? They're going ice skating.

11:03 Drew No, no, no, no.

11:03 Adam There's no ice skating over there, is there?

11:05 Drew No, no, no.

11:06 Adam Oh, my God. It's the worst thing that ever happened to me. Drew's daughter got into ice skating. His wife's become one of those ice skating moms. Holy Christ. I'm an expert in ice skating now.

11:18 Drew Really?

11:18 Adam Oh, yeah.

11:19 Drew That's nice. That's the last field you needed to sort of be an expert in everything.

11:23 Adam Ice dancing. Yeah, found out how much his skates cost and how often he got it. Drew's head almost exploded when he found out how much his skates cost. Katie? You're 14? You watch that, watch that wife of yours, she's going to give the girl an eating disorder with all that pressure about the ice skating. Yeah. Yeah. Katie? Go ahead.

11:44 Caller Okay, Drew, yesterday didn't you say you were coming to Indiana?

11:48 Drew I am.

11:48 Caller Okay, when and where? Because I want to see you.

11:51 Drew I'm going to Muncie like March 9th or something. Is there a university in Muncie?

11:55 Oh yeah, I live right by there.

11:58 Adam And right next to that is a Winston Tire outlet. Drew will be there. He will be signing tires with the chalk stick and, what are they paying you? $18 to head out there, Drew and Muncie. Heading out to Muncie.

12:14 Drew Yep, that's the first week or so in March, okay, Katie? The University of Indiana.

12:18 Adam Is it all ages?

12:19 Drew Probably.

12:20 Adam All right, go out and see Drew and Muncie. All right, baby doll, good times. Yeah, you don't hear about Muncie anymore.

12:29 Drew What is the rhythm problem tonight?

12:31 Adam Tough rhythm, do you hear about Muncie anymore?

12:33 Drew No, I was shocked that I was going there.

12:35 Adam Didn't you used to hear about Muncie?

12:37 Drew Why? Yes.

12:38 Adam I don't know, there's a NFL guy named Chuck Muncie.

12:41 Drew Maybe that was it.

12:42 Adam Maybe there was a famous something or two for Muncie. I don't know, maybe stuff gets popular like Kalamazoo.

12:48 Drew It's near Indianapolis, I think that's an hour away from there.

12:52 Adam Yeah, Muncie made, Was there a car track? Transmissions too. Yeah. I don't know, I used to hear more about Muncie, now I don't hear it anymore. Let's get Muncie back on the map, yes Drew?

13:05 Drew Same with Gary, Indiana too.

13:06 Adam Brian?

13:08 Caller Hello?

13:10 Adam What's happening?

13:11 Caller Oh, hey, I, well, you probably hear this all the time, uh, Adam, but like, seriously.

13:21 Adam What did he say?

13:22 Drew He said, but seriously. And then he sort of coughed or gasped, like I wasn't sure what that was.

13:28 Caller Liar, liar whore.

13:31 Drew Brian?

13:32 Caller Oh yeah, I have asthma.

13:35 Drew Well, don't do it.

13:37 Adam Were you complimenting me? And you're losing- Yeah, but don't hit on the inhaler right in the middle of a compliment.

13:43 Caller It was one of those like life or death things.

13:46 Drew You remind me of the kid on the-

13:47 Adam Well, I'm just saying spit the compliment out before you hit the ground. That's all.

13:51 Drew What's the kid on the-

13:53 Adam Oh, Drew, you don't know.

13:54 Drew I can't think tonight.

13:55 Adam Brian? Yeah. All right. What's up?

14:00 Caller Like for the past couple of months, I've been getting like sharp pain in my testicles. Just like during the day.

14:07 Adam What about his testicles?

14:08 Caller Oh.

14:08 Drew It's sharp pain twice a day.

14:10 Adam Mm-hmm.

14:10 Drew When I'm hearing, okay, I'm just not pronouncing the language.

14:15 Adam And?

14:15 Caller Oh, I was just wondering what that was, if I should like do anything for it.

14:21 Drew And it's just a fleeting pain all of a sudden?

14:25 Caller Well, like sharp, like.

14:27 Drew Do you wear a sort of support, like jockey underwear, or do you wear boxers? Believe it or not, the jockey will kind of help give us a little more support to lymphatic drainage.

14:38 Adam What is it? These kids gotta be so cool with the boxers. The boxers that I.

14:43 Drew Shorts over shorts.

14:44 Adam It really does, it feels like you pulled up some old time gym shorts, the ones we used to wear that were short in the 70s. Like you pulled some gym shorts on under your jeans. It's like, there's a whole different, it's like, I meant, there's a fault line. It's like two plates. It's like two of the earth's plates coming together and there's always some movement there. You know what I mean? Like.

15:11 Drew Not a movement, bunching.

15:12 Adam There's bunching, but there's, it drifts one way and then slides another. Then the fly hole pops open, your penis pops out. I don't know what's weird about, I don't even know how your penis knows it's out, but there's like, you know how you know your fingers down your throat when you're trying to make yourself vomit? That's how my penis knows when it's out of the underpants fly, even if it's wide open and there's nothing around. It's weird. You gotta do that weird pullback thing where you try to grab a little pant and a little. Yeah. No, you do that thing where you grab some underpants and some pant and you try to sort of slide your penis back into your ass. Like, you just pull it like if it was a pool cue and you were gonna break, it'd be the pool. It'd be the back pull. That's the movement. Try to get it back in there. Then it starts bunching up. Always one leg down around the knee and the other one bunched up and going up your ass. How cool do you. I don't understand. Is that so you don't get ass on your pants?

16:10 Drew I guess. Or is it that funk, that ball funk?

16:16 Adam Is it a hygiene thing? I mean, my point is.

16:18 Drew That's it.

16:19 Adam Don't bother wearing underpants if you're going to wear the big boxers.

16:22 Drew And you should get this checked out, Brian. It doesn't mean anything specific, but it is an unusual symptom.

16:27 Adam So I think it's a cool guy thing.

16:29 Drew It's something you could have a epidermal, in fact, inflammation. You could have torsion, that sort of thing.

16:34 Adam Is it a boxers just a cool, like a cool guy?

16:36 Drew Not only is it cool, but they have to show it. You have to have it must be presented.

16:40 Adam Yeah.

16:41 Drew Well, no, no, no. They have the pants must go like pubic level.

16:44 Adam Yeah. And then the boxers hang out, hang out the top. And actually you guys are missing because you got the baggy shorts. But back in the day, when the shorts were lower, you'd have the boxers hanging out the bottom of the shorts and the top.

16:58 Drew That was the cool thing.

16:59 Adam So you had two foot worth of boxer and nine inches worth of shorts over it. It was a great look. It 11 inches of boxer hanging over the waistband and then 14 down below where the short shorts were cut off.

17:12 Drew That's cool. That'll come back. That'll be back, I predict.

17:14 Adam I hope that one comes back.

17:15 Drew Let's keep the underwear discussion going here. I'm gonna take line three.

17:18 Adam The boxer briefs the way to go. Yeah. If you got 28 bucks, it's a spin on a pair of underpants.

17:24 Drew Eddie, 20.

17:25 Caller Yeah, hello?

17:26 Adam What's up?

17:27 Caller Yeah.

17:28 Yeah, I want to question about penis size.

17:32 Drew Go ahead.

17:33 All right, well anyways, I'm four inches and I'm 20 years old and I wanted to know if I can go any larger and if me wearing briefs throughout puberty, adolescence and everything had anything to do with being that small.

17:45 Drew No, no, the brief has, brief is a good thing. It improves the drainage, that whole lymphatic drainage.

17:52 Adam The brief, that guy, what, how's the brief help? Doesn't do anything.

17:55 Well, would you recommend getting larger?

17:58 Drew Do you have normal hair distribution?

18:01 Yeah.

18:02 Drew Normal hair in your arms and?

18:03 No, no, no, I don't have any hair. I have very little hair on my endurance.

18:07 Drew How about your pubic area?

18:08 No, a little bit on my testicles and.

18:12 Drew All right, you should see an endocrinologist. There may be something going on biologically with you.

18:18 Well, you know what, I also, when I ejaculate, I don't feel anything. I don't know if that's from the jack, jerking off too much or I don't know.

18:25 Drew How tall are you?

18:27 I'm five, six.

18:28 Drew How often do you?

18:30 Yeah.

18:30 Drew Masturbate.

18:32 Oh, about three or four or five times a day.

18:35 Adam Three or four or five times a day.

18:37 Well, it depends how horny I am that day.

18:40 Drew If you don't feel anything, why do you do it?

18:41 Adam Yeah, five times quite a bit for no feeling.

18:45 Why? I mean, I can finally, there's sometimes I get a bit of cumming goes, you know, I like I'll ejaculate, but I won't feel anything.

18:52 Drew Random reinforcement.

18:53 Adam Right. So you get a nice sensation, one every like 28 times you beat off. That's enough to keep you going until you're 100.

19:02 Drew Hasn't doubled, doubling down.

19:03 Adam Right.

19:04 Drew Chasing it.

19:04 Adam That's elusive.

19:08 Drew You would go crazy, I'd imagine. You lose your mind.

19:11 My main concern is, am I supposed to feel something exactly when I ejaculate?

19:15 Drew Yes, you are supposed to feel something. It sounds like there is something biological going on. Your secondary sex characteristics aren't exactly normal. The orgasmic function sounds a little funny. Your size of genitalia is a little on the outside of the normal bell curve. So yeah, definitely send a chronologist.

19:31 Okay, and what could they do?

19:32 Prescribe medicine or?

19:33 Drew It depends, depends what the problem is. Whether there's something genetically going on or something endocrinologically. Oh yeah, sometimes they can prescribe hormones to make things move along.

19:41 Adam All right, but good times though, right?

19:44 Okay, thank you.

19:45 Adam This guy's calling from Texas. I'm thinking, not everything's big in Texas.

19:48 Drew Not everything.

19:49 Adam Let me say this, Drew, a bit of philosophy here. You know, one of my pet peeves is that everyone thinks not only, well it's two things. We're thinking like natives. Not only, we gotta buy workout books for models so we can look like them. You know, we think that, well, they look this way. What is their secret?

20:11 Drew Yes.

20:11 Adam Must be a secret.

20:12 Drew Well, it's almost like monkey see monkey do.

20:14 Adam She's 21, she's slammin heroin. She dropped out of school at 14 to F, Arab guys in France. What is her secret? What's the secret? She's doing a lot of coke and pretty much lives off breakfast cereal. Well, what's her secret? What is the secret, Drew? Could it be just good genes? What's the secret? Where'd you get those blue eyes and that big cleft in your chin? I gotta get one too. Why don't you write a book about that? How'd it get a cleft in your chin? How'd it get your teeth so straight? What is your secret? So, not only do we have that what is your secret, but we also have the opposite side of that was my penis is small.

20:51 Drew What's wrong?

20:51 Adam What's wrong? What I do to myself. See, use the logic.

20:55 Drew Well, cancer, they do that all the time. People do that.

20:57 Adam That's all they do. That's all I do.

20:59 Drew I have cancer. How did that happen? What made that happen to me?

21:02 Adam It's like, uh, yeah, let's say I, I, I use the microwave. I must have been it. I see it a lot of hot pockets.

21:09 Drew People cannot accept that they're biological. They cannot accept the biological events happen randomly.

21:14 Adam And they can't accept that you basically, you gotta, you get a hand dealt to you. You get, you get eyes a certain color. Your hair falls out at a certain time. Your calf muscles are either big or small. You have it, your teeth are either straight or crooked.

21:27 Drew Can you see here now a role for religion?

21:30 Adam Yes. Yeah. No, I mean, this is all this. It's like, it's, it's like your teeth. You know, people are like, hey, I've never got a cavity in my life. What do you, what's your secret? Nothing. I do the same thing you do. That's just, I never got a cavity in my life. You know, I got, it's the goddamn dentist. And by the way, this is why I want a backhand dentist. Cause like, oh no, you gotta start, you got such a regular clean, you gotta start flossing. You start doing all that crap. You know the dentist once a year, you got two cavities. It's what, what is it? You know what I mean? Like what can we control? It's really not much. So the thing is, is, you know, well, I got a small penis. Well, what'd I do? I must've done something.

22:11 Drew I wore the wrong kind of pants.

22:13 Adam Using your logic, which is, I can just buy the model's workout tape and look like the model. If something's wrong with me, then yeah, it must be the wrong underpants.

22:22 Drew I didn't follow her instructions properly. Except when people actually need to follow directions. Now there are things they can do.

22:29 Adam Not smoke as much weed.

22:31 Drew They're not interested in following the wrong directions.

22:33 Adam Not interested in that. They're not interested in the sort of betterment stuff that actually is about betterment. Right. That part, not that interesting.

22:41 Drew Reading more, going to school more.

22:42 Adam No, no, no. Yeah, come on buddy. Why you gotta go there?

22:44 Drew That's harsh even for you, huh?

22:46 Adam Even? I ain't into that crap. Drew, I'm gonna read your book soon though. Yeah, someday.

22:53 Drew It's about six months. It's good.

22:55 Adam I'm gonna read that book. Please do. Take a quick break. We'll be right back.

23:01 Hello, this is your radio.

23:20 Adam Loveline, I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. David Allen Grier, dag, my main man, tomorrow night. Drew, you gotta flop.

23:33 Drew Yeah, sorry.

23:35 Adam Can't just set it.

23:37 Drew That was bad judgment.

23:38 Adam Oh, Drew, nice. All right, Drew, you're just a little tired tonight. A little tired as well. Yeah, I've been getting up early, been running around a lot.

23:48 Caller On the phone calls, you know what I mean?

23:51 Adam Moving and shaking.

23:53 Drew Your career or your house?

23:55 Adam House.

23:55 Drew House. Yeah, you're gonna be talking about your house.

23:58 Adam I'm not worried about my career, Drew. That's all gonna fall into place. You have to worry about that. Yeah, yeah.

24:06 Drew It's good times.

24:07 Adam Yeah, mm-hmm. Yeah, I haven't been on TV in a while. That's the way I like it. Yeah, I like these other celebrities trying to have a career.

24:16 Drew No, I know.

24:17 Adam Not the ace man. Monica?

24:20 Caller Yes.

24:21 Adam You're 25? What's happening?

24:25 Caller Nothing much, just driving home, listening to you guys.

24:28 Caller Mm-hmm.

24:31 Caller I heard that Dr. Drew's daughter was into Elvis.

24:34 Adam Yeah.

24:34 Caller And I was wondering if she's seen Lilo in Stitch.

24:38 Drew Oh yeah, and she's got the soundtrack and she's already skated to it.

24:42 Caller Is that, I was wondering if that's where she got the Elvis from.

24:45 Drew No, well before that, I don't know where it came from.

24:50 Adam Somebody at the, some other chick at the ice rink or someone was probably dancing to it.

24:54 Drew Or something, yeah.

24:56 Adam That's great. I'll fill her in on the real Elvis one day soon.

25:00 Drew Oh, I've been trying to. Oh yeah.

25:03 Adam All right, that's good, burst or bubble. Yeah. Yeah. What's, you gotta get her into like Scott Weiland or something like that, you know, a real role model. Yeah, Monica, is that it?

25:14 Caller I just wanna say that I've been listening to you guys for gosh, like almost 10 years now. And on and off, I know.

25:19 Caller I started when I was 15, 16.

25:22 Drew You feel like you know your name.

25:25 Caller Yeah, so we just moved here to LA. So I listen to you guys on K-Rock.

25:29 Drew Where'd you move from?

25:31 Caller Fresno, California. My husband got transferred out here. And so I'm out in Beverly Hills and it's just so much better.

25:42 Adam Yeah. That's transferred. Thanks for calling, by the way. Transferred means either you got a really good job or a really crappy job.

25:50 Drew It's never, yeah, it's never nothing.

25:52 Adam Yeah, you don't get transferred. You just sort of have a gig.

25:56 Drew Do you mean the movement up or out?

25:58 Adam Yeah, and what I'm saying is, the military could transfer you to Biloxi, and that's bad, or IBM could transfer you over to the corporate office in Denver or something, you know, with the corner office. It transfers, it's a bad thing or it's a good thing. It's never a medium thing. It's rarely a push.

26:20 Drew That's right.

26:20 Adam Yes?

26:21 Drew Yes, absolutely.

26:22 Adam You ever been transferred?

26:24 Drew No.

26:25 Adam No, me neither.

26:26 Drew What does that mean?

26:28 Adam I never had a job that you, you know, I always work construction. There's no transferring. Well, the transfer was like, hey, throw some Mexicans in the back of your truck and drop them off down on the Wilshire job. And then when you're there, pick up some two by fours and bring them back. That was like as close as, close to transfer I ever got. It's a good time. Megan? You're 20? What's up?

26:53 Caller I was actually listening to you guys in the night and you had a caller call in talking about wanting to get in a threesome with her husband and she was younger than me.

27:03 Drew Right. And we talked to her a little further and found out she came from foster care and had been horribly abused and we picked up on that pretty quick that she couldn't tolerate her relationship and needed to bring in another person to create some chaos.

27:16 Caller I have a long time boyfriend. I'm 20. He's 23. The reason we're not married right now is because he lived the way he graduated from college before I did. And I have another two years of college left. But bringing in a third person, actually a girl, is something that I've been very interested in for a while now. And we've been talking about it and seriously been looking for somebody.

27:39 Adam Yeah. Well, because you want to have a Lesbo experience. That's why.

27:44 Caller Well, I actually did right before I met him.

27:48 Adam Oh, did you like it?

27:50 Caller Yeah, I did.

27:51 Adam You did.

27:53 Caller But it was purely, it was a purely sexual level, you know.

27:56 Adam Sure.

27:56 Drew As opposed to what?

27:58 Caller It was my first spiritual object.

27:59 Adam Religious, spiritual.

28:00 Caller And one of the silly things like that.

28:02 Adam Right. All right. So you.

28:04 Caller But it was very enjoyable and something I was very interested in. But, you know, I kind of thought about everything and I could never actually date a girl.

28:12 Adam I'm not interested in them like that. Now you should feel sorry for us. We got to date you guys.

28:21 Caller No, I totally understand. I would never be able to deal with someone like me, you know.

28:26 Drew Yeah, but that's what I'm picking up on here. Somebody like you is a handful.

28:29 Adam This is why guys like to hang out with guys and girls like to hang out with guys. Do the math. Know what's to hang out with the chicks. All right.

28:40 Caller So, listen, you're talking about how it was this need to destroy the relationship and get out of relationship.

28:47 Drew Well, you need drama. You're just a drama.

28:50 Adam Well, but we talked about this last night and I said two things. Either you want to have a lesbian experience and you want to do it within the friendly confines of a heterosexual relationship or you want to sabotage.

29:08 Drew But I think Megan's choice number three, she just wants drama.

29:12 Adam Or what about a little section of A, B, and C? Once the lesbian relationship, once the sabotage, once the drama.

29:21 Drew But here's her thing, she's like, well, I love my boyfriend, we're getting married. The only reason I'm married is he's away right now. But, you know, women, that'd be fine, too. I could date some women right now. Which is it?

29:31 Caller Well, no, the thing is I couldn't ever date a woman and it was a purely sexual thing. I'm a very sexual person.

29:38 Adam Drew's a man of great passion himself, you know. He'll laugh, but, you know, like I said, puts his victims in the hospital. He's that passionate. Candy striper, skirts pulled up over their heads.

29:53 Drew Very difficult.

29:54 Adam Man of great passion. Sometimes he gets consumed with that passion. That's when people get hurt, quite frankly.

30:01 Drew Consumed?

30:02 Adam Yeah, well, you're consumed with that passion. Mm-hmm? You've been with this guy for how many years?

30:09 Caller A year and a half now.

30:12 Adam I don't know. It's starting to feel like maybe it's run its course. Maybe this isn't the love of your life. You got hooked up. You're 18 or 19. A year and a half, by the way, a year and a half relationship at 18 or 19 is a hell of a run.

30:26 Drew And by the way, it's one thing to declare yourself as a very sexual person and then go on in your relationship and carry on. It's a completely different thing when you announce it and then also include all sorts of acting out behaviors you're planning. Another person, another relationship. What was that? That's nuts. That's not being liberated. That's not being exploratory.

30:49 Adam I bet I can guess Megan Sign.

30:52 Drew Really?

30:52 Adam Yeah, I can. Megan.

30:54 Drew Cancer.

30:56 Adam I said I can. I said I can. I said I. Megan, don't tell me your sign. Unless I get it right, then it's important to say something. We'll keep going for hours. Here we go. Are you ready? Come on, Drew. Pisces.

31:13 Caller Mm-mm.

31:17 Adam Sagittarius. Nope. Libra.

31:24 Caller Yeah.

31:25 Drew Yeah, you know it.

31:26 Adam Yeah. I could tell, because when you get it right, you know it. You know why? Because I'm a very sexual person, too. And I knew Libra was it because that's the sign of the leper who...

31:39 Drew Oh, really?...

31:39 Adam is very horny because no one will have sex with them.

31:42 Drew I see.

31:43 Adam What is the Libra?

31:45 Drew Scales.

31:45 Adam Scales? Mm-hmm. Like scales on a reptile or actual scales? Scales of justice. Yeah. And it's not that... Hey, listen. We got to start replacing these scales with the newer ones instead of these tip-balanced ones with the plate on it.

32:01 Drew It's a digital readout.

32:01 Adam Yeah. What are we? A bunch of 49ers? For F's sake, let's get some of the digital readout. And it even goes down to ounces. All right. So Pisces. I knew it. Passionate.

32:14 Drew Libra. Do you want to get...

32:15 Adam I mean Libra. That's what I said. It's just Libra.

32:17 Drew Get at what is going on with her.

32:19 Adam No.

32:19 Drew She's really...

32:20 Adam I don't care. Don't... You know, I say break up. I say you're... If you're...

32:27 Drew She's not an addict. I don't know what she is. Not an addict.

32:31 Adam Jonathan?

32:32 Yes.

32:36 Adam All right.

32:36 Drew Whatever that means.

32:37 Adam Leo.

32:38 Yes, actually.

32:41 Adam I knew it. Thanks. I said close.

32:46 You're a genius.

32:47 Adam Thanks, buddy.

32:47 Very passionate man.

32:49 Adam Exquisitely passionate.

32:51 And if Bruce is there, he's a kind of a spaz.

32:55 Adam He is a spaz, a lovable spaz, Dr. Bruce. Go ahead.

32:59 Well, I would like to know if you guys can help me.

33:01 Adam You're going to go to jail, buddy. Now, listen. Hold on a second. This is Dr. Brooks. I know, but that's sometimes when you're overtaken with nerd-dom, you sound like you're intoxicated. Play that again, Anderson. If this is true, you're going to go to jail, buddy. Imagine him as your dad, like, trying to discipline you, like, in high school, and you're just laughing. Hey, Beanpole, get out of the way. Wait a minute. You can't take the cart out of the way, Red. He's good people.

33:39 Drew He's got three or four daughters.

33:41 Adam They're never going to listen to him. I just hit that Adam sample his door.

33:49 Well, I want to see if you guys can help me with a little relationship problem. I have a very religious girlfriend. She actually has some health problems. And she's, lately she's been pushing me kind of away.

34:04 Drew What's her health problem?

34:05 I think I'm kind of getting the vibe that we might be kind of hitting the end.

34:09 Drew Jonathan, you listening?

34:10 Yeah.

34:11 Drew What is her health problem?

34:13 Okay, she doesn't like talking about it. What she has told me is it's a thing connected between her spinal cord and her brain and she can, she's actually supposed to be dead and she can die actually any minute.

34:30 Drew Well, whatever that is makes no sense.

34:33 Adam Well, isn't it a thing that connects your spinal cord, your brain, your spinal cord?

34:38 Okay, like when I knew, I want to like call you guys about this, like I don't have enough information actually like described and I knew this would come up, but she doesn't like talking about it. She's very sensitive about it.

34:50 Drew Jonathan, it's, it's, when people have life-threatening illnesses, they won't spare you any detail. They know everything there is to know about it and they need to talk about it.

35:00 Adam And if they're Jewish, it could just be a head cult. I'm saying if she's a Jew, they'll spare you, they'll talk your ear off about a canker sore. You know what I mean? These people got energy in that department.

35:14 Drew This doesn't make any sense at all and the reason she's not talking about it is because it's probably nothing.

35:18 Adam How long was she, when was she supposed to be dead?

35:22 From what she's told me, it's kind of each day, she is kind of like another day that she wasn't supposed to have.

35:32 Drew No way, no way.

35:34 Caller Wait a minute, Drew, how do you know?

35:36 Adam Where is she? Is she at home right now?

35:39 Probably in the dorms.

35:41 Drew Then we should get her on the phone.

35:42 Well, she gets severe migraines and sometimes like she gets in the way, like sometimes like plants that we have has to get canceled because of these like severe migraines that she has. She's probably in the dorms.

35:56 Drew She's probably in the dorms. She's probably in the dorms.

36:00 Adam She's probably in the dorms. We'll see them all in a moment now. Shouldn't she be near a hospital somewhere?

36:07 Drew Or on pain medicine?

36:07 He actually goes to the hospital about almost each month, and she's already had a spinal tap. In fact, he asked me if I would go with her to get another surgery.

36:19 Drew Another surgery?

36:20 Like, if I could hold her hand or be with her, but lately, she's been kind of pushing me away.

36:25 Adam Well, Drew, I've seen brain surgery done on the Science Channel. It's always important to have a couple people in the room there.

36:34 Drew Oh, like the boyfriend stuff? Yeah, of course.

36:35 Adam Yeah, especially when they're buzzing through the skull and everything, peeling the face off and everything.

36:40 Drew Yeah, you just didn't want your loved one there, of course.

36:43 Adam Smart idea, though, if and when you do that, bring some magazines. Those things can last 20 minutes.

36:48 Drew Barf bag.

36:50 Adam They can last 20, 25 minutes sometimes.

36:53 Drew Yeah, none of this makes sense. I don't want to call her a liar and I don't want to say that there's...

36:56 Adam No, but here's the thing. Jonathan is...

37:00 Drew Doesn't spare the details, or does he?

37:01 Adam Well, Jonathan's 20 and he's going on like 13. What's up with you? I don't think this is your girlfriend, by the way.

37:10 You don't.

37:12 Adam No. Have you had sex with her?

37:20 Not, not sex.

37:22 Adam I'm not talking. Hold on a sec. Hold on.

37:26 Drew Shocking.

37:27 Adam I am shocked.

37:28 Drew Reenactment. Adam, Jonathan, have you had sex with her?

37:32 Adam Well, no, hold on. Not, well, there's a biblical sex and then there's sex that, you know, between two animals.

37:47 Drew And there's gender sex, male, female.

37:50 Adam There's, there's, there's, there's a, there's, there's a courtholding variety. OK. So he's a 20 year old guy. He's got himself a girlfriend. How did I know? He of course, shocked. He was shocked. And at my temerity when I suggested that maybe this wasn't his girlfriend. But then how did I know? Thank God. Jonathan, something's wrong here. Something's wrong with her physically.

38:21 Drew Or something.

38:21 Adam Something's up with her mentally and emotionally. And then something's wrong with you in the way you sort of perceive your meaning to her and your relationship and all that.

38:32 There is other slight details.

38:35 Drew Let's have them.

38:39 I actually am the first guy that she dated. Like I said, she's pretty religious. She's kind of a hardcore Lutheran. And this is her first year in college, and I'm a sophomore. She left an ex-boyfriend that she broke up with.

38:54 Drew Wait, I thought you were the first guy she dated.

38:56 Well, no, she had a boyfriend, but I'm the first one. Like, she knew him in high school.

39:02 Adam She had a boyfriend, but she'd never dated. No, I know. She'd been married several times. She'd not dated. You understand, Drew?

39:15 And I know, I know, no matter what I say or how I... Somehow. Well...

39:20 Adam All right, now hold on a second, listen. Yes, it is part of my job here to give the callers S, as you say.

39:29 Drew Don't hang up on John. We got to get to the bottom of this.

39:31 Adam It's easier to give them S if they make no sense at all.

39:35 Drew It's just not making sense.

39:39 Adam Well, Jonathan's the first guy she's dated.

39:41 Drew Except her boyfriend.

39:42 Adam Well, after a couple of abusive relationships...

39:45 Drew Did she have sex with her boyfriend? Please, I got to...

39:48 Adam Oh, no, you're going to kill Jonathan. Jonathan?

39:53 You asked me if she's ever had sex with her boyfriend? No, she hasn't. The father said she's gone with anybody else. It's just been felt up on the outside, and we've practically done everything but sex, and I just think that she's gotten pretty scared about that.

40:08 Adam Well, she's on her deathbed, and one good working over by you could send her to a grave, right? Yes. Well, hang on a second there, buddy. You know, I don't know... And Drew, I wish this existed when we were 19, 20, 21, where somebody could just walk up to you, and you go, okay, well, well, well, well, hear me out, I love her, I love her, I've got, I've got nine, I know, I've got 19 months invested in it, and I just go, no, it's over. It's done. You're done. Pulls out like a white glove that's been soaked in your seam, and it just pow, slaps you right across, and then back again, right there, and you go, no, you don't understand, she's she's seeing somebody now, but they're going through some bad, you broke it up. You're done. Get away. Go. Go find somebody else.

41:02 Drew And then just boots you in the butt.

41:04 Adam Just kick your ass. Just boots.

41:05 Drew I didn't get that so badly when I was 19.

41:08 Adam Right. Because think of your rap. Oh, she said one day that she could grow to love someone like me, eventually, like fight a brother. So and, and I've been into her since the ninth grade.

41:21 Drew So she talked to me one time.

41:23 Adam Yeah.

41:24 Drew And she seemed to pretty upbeat about it. She liked it.

41:27 Adam She has a wandering eye and that the one wandering one, it's, it, it saw my shoulder once and saw me into her. Yeah. Don't you wish someone could just slapped in the face until you get moving. Get moving. Hey, reality. Get out of here.

41:42 Drew It's like a hypnotist.

41:43 Adam Yeah. Right. And look, there's women out there who are freed up, who may be interested, who have actual relationships with.

41:50 Drew No, no. No, this one, this one. This is the one. This is the one I tell you.

41:54 Adam We're taking a break. We'll get back with Jonathan and his bizarre story after this.

42:00 Love Line will be right back, so get your problems ready.

42:12 Adam Ooh, we sure started?

42:13 What do you know?

42:15 Adam Hey, everybody, it's The Loveline. I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew over there. Phone number 1-800-L-V-1-9-1.

42:22 Drew I'm completely fascinated.

42:23 Adam We'd love to hear from you tonight.

42:24 Drew Fascinated by Jonathan. I wanna know more.

42:27 Adam Jonathan? Yeah, me too.

42:30 Drew I wanna know about this illness that has no name.

42:33 Adam Jonathan.

42:33 Drew But is life-threatening.

42:35 Adam Yeah, Jonathan has himself a woman in college. They haven't done the dirty deed yet. The boyfriend and girlfriend don't.

42:41 Drew No, he's dating her. He's dating her. Cause she's never dated before.

42:44 Adam She's never dated before.

42:46 Drew Had boyfriends.

42:47 Adam Had boyfriends, never dated. And she has a disease that's something to do with where her spine connects to her brain and she could die. She should be dead. And by the way, let me ask you this, Drew. What percentage of people tell you they were clinically dead or should have been dead or pronounced dead or the doctors told them they'd be dead or the doctors made any kind of proclamation about them never walking or never getting above five feet?

43:11 Drew That would be everybody over 19.

43:14 Adam All I'm just saying is why is it 90% of those people are nuts? You know what I mean? Like somebody goes, I got in a moped accident when I was in high school. The doctor said, I start tuning them out. Unless the doctor said you'd be fine.

43:30 Drew Unless you're dead.

43:31 Adam Yeah, if the doctor, here's where I'm listening. If the doctor said you should put some ice on it and elevate it, now I'm listening. But the doctor said I wouldn't make it out of the ninth grade. You know, that kind of, I never listened. And there's a small percentage of people who do actually clinically die and then come back. And I don't know what clinically dying is. Your heart stops.

43:51 Drew You have no blood pressure, no pulse, and your brain's not responding.

43:54 Adam Right, and then they come back. Handful.

43:56 Drew But that's not clinical. Clinical death is you don't come back from clinical death. There's death. It's called being dead. Your brain's gone.

44:02 Adam This is your heart stopped. Yeah, it happened to my grandfather, actually. Yeah. He clinically died. Yeah, yeah. That was six years ago.

44:09 Drew Yeah.

44:10 Adam He may, well, I'm not counting on anything. I don't want to jinx it.

44:14 Drew Yeah, no.

44:14 Adam He may be coming back. I don't want to jinx it.

44:17 Drew So Jonathan.

44:18 Adam Jonathan.

44:18 Yes.

44:19 Drew Is this multiple sclerosis or some neurodegenerative disease? What are we talking about?

44:24 You know, like, I really wish I could give you a name for this. Like, cause I-

44:29 Drew Don't you think it's weird that she's never offered that to you? She's never had a name for it?

44:33 Like, okay, like, the thing is, I know she's very uncomfortable.

44:36 Adam Hold on, who is this, Shaggy?

44:39 Drew It's very uncomfortable. Hey Jonathan, no matter how uncomfortable she is, she could offer you one word after I have a bad illness, the illness's name. That's all she has to do. And it is absurd that you don't know what this thing is. And all you have to do is ask for it. And if she gives you any obfuscation, if she gives you any, sort of doesn't answer the question, then it's nothing, then it's something else going on.

45:07 Yeah, we've kind of gone through this. Like I know she's uncomfortable about talking about it. And she has dropped the name like once, but she really doesn't like it. So it's like, I don't talk about it, but.

45:19 Drew All right, what is the name?

45:21 Adam He doesn't remember.

45:22 Drew No, he knows.

45:23 The name of it once, like I can't, I don't really know the title of what it is. Like, that's why I wish I could say Drew.

45:30 Drew Is it fibromyalgia or something like that?

45:33 Caller I wish I could say Drew.

45:35 Adam Hey, he doesn't know. What college are you going to, by the way?

45:40 MU. Missouri, she goes to Stevens College.

45:44 Adam Uh-huh. The claim, Stevens College. All right, are you sure she's your girlfriend?

45:52 I would probably say that Drew is a little bit more correct in saying that we're dating, but yet we're not close.

45:59 Drew How would she describe the relationship? How would she describe it?

46:03 Adam Jonathan? Yes. Who? That's how she would describe the relationship. All right, look, this chick's nutty. Thankfully, you're a little nutty, too. Actually, she's nutty and you're sort of delusional. Why don't you break up and move on? As a matter of fact, here's what, and let me tell you how easy it is for you to break up with her. All you gotta do is stop calling her. Your phone will never ring again. Ironically, the easiest girls to break up with are the ones you should be breaking up with, which is all Johnna's gotta do, is stop going over there and bugging her. Never hear from her again. Done. All right, move on, buddy. That's all right.

46:39 Drew Yeah, this is not a good relationship.

46:42 Adam These big man on campus over at EMU. EMU. We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back.

46:48 Okay, so I know there's nothing wrong with me.

46:50 So what's up? But I tried everything else and thought, what the hell?

47:03 Drew 877-889-DATE.

47:35 Adam Love Line, I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew. Phone number, 1-800-LOVE-191. Oh yeah. Real cold snap in the East, Drew.

47:46 Drew Oh yeah.

47:47 Adam It's big news over there. People dying.

47:49 Drew Snow.

47:50 Adam Snow. Really took them by surprise this year. You know? Yeah. Normally, this time of year, it's what, is it seven?

47:57 Drew 85.

47:58 Adam Oh, low 80s, mid 80s?

47:59 Drew Well, never snow.

48:00 Adam Sounds like a snow. I like the idea that the weather's news every year. Every year. Hey, guess what? The Eastern seaboard. Ooh, it's cold. It's cold out there. They may get some snow. They snow, it snowed for like two days once.

48:14 Drew Wow.

48:14 Adam It's crazy.

48:15 Drew Northern Plains. It's cold. It's windy.

48:17 Adam It's windy out there. It's cold. It's big news.

48:20 Drew Let's talk to somebody out there.

48:21 Adam The East. It's cold there, but really? This doesn't happen every goddamn year at this time? And then it's like, let's do this too. 48 deaths attributed to the cold. Are these people frozen to the mailbox or is just some old timer that fell asleep and died in their sleep?

48:39 Drew Or is it somebody just slipped on the ice and just hit their head and stuff like that?

48:42 Adam Yeah, yeah. Here's the thing. I was telling Jimmy today, look, if it's a death attributed to the cold, we shouldn't find you until the thaw. We should have, there should be no deaths during the winter and then we'll start the head count around spring, because that's when we find you and that's no draft in your car, you know, frozen. And in the frozen comical position, like you gotta be in an action position. Right. No one ever freezes with their eyes closed. You notice that? Eyes wide open.

49:11 Drew Well, they were doing what they were doing. You know, walk around with your eyes closed.

49:14 Adam I wanna see, here's the people. I like mid-chop of an ax. Just they pulled back and they froze. Yeah. I don't know all the frozen death things, but these are just retards who are using like hibachis to heat their apartments. Yeah, people have died.

49:32 Drew When I was in training, when people were, I was trained during a horrible heat wave, one of many we have out here.

49:37 Adam Yes.

49:38 Drew And, you know, I was watching the head count every day in the news and I had a few of them come in and they were all people, 85 plus, barely making it at home, no family, nobody helping them and just sort of fell asleep, got dehydrated and got pneumonia and that was that.

49:54 Adam You're 88 years old. Yeah. You got foil on your windows instead of drapes.

50:00 Drew Now we're not saying that it should be taken lightly. It's that it starts to make sense. It sort of sounds much more dramatic.

50:07 Adam I'm just saying the 48 deaths, what percentage of them froze?

50:10 Drew The stories are told, the headlines are told as though indeed it was the lumberjack in mid-swing.

50:16 Adam Yes. I wanna see people who walked out to their mailbox and didn't make it back because they froze in mid-strike.

50:23 Drew Yeah, yeah.

50:24 Adam See what I'm saying?

50:25 Drew Reading the letter, sorting through mail.

50:27 Adam That's right, they froze. And their dog is next to them urinating with a frozen arch of urine that's still going from the dog's penis to the ground.

50:39 Drew Fair enough.

50:39 Adam Yes, that's what I'm looking for. So cold in the meantime.

50:44 Drew Let's talk to Jen, who is 18.

50:47 Caller Hi.

50:48 Drew Hi.

50:50 Caller So my problem pretty much is like, I've been dating this guy for a year and a half. And like the first six months of us dating was like perfect, you know, when it came to like going out and being together plus like the sexual stuff, you know? And like now that it's getting towards this point, like it was a year and a half, like the 12th of this month, it's kind of like less interesting.

51:17 Drew Hold on. I find that-

51:18 Adam It was a year and a half on the 12th of this month?

51:23 Caller Yeah, of January.

51:24 Drew And yet did you hear or feel, I don't much know what I was tuning into, but there was a dramatic shift in her affect. And she was like, and then we would think it was wonderful. And then it's a year and a half.

51:35 Adam We're just, oh. So, you guys, now you guys celebrated your year and a half on the 12th?

51:43 Caller Yeah.

51:44 Adam Did you get my basket?

51:48 Drew The cheeses, no?

51:49 Adam Wow.

51:49 Caller No.

51:51 Adam All right, so. So, what happened?

51:54 Caller Pretty much, it's just like, in the beginning, you know, it's like the sexual thing was interesting between both of us. Like, just as much as he wanted it, I wanted it.

52:02 Drew How often was that?

52:05 Caller Beginning. I mean, at least twice a week. I mean, if time permitted, cause like between school and work and stuff. But I mean, like, when we were together, we could hang out and then do that too. You know?

52:16 Drew Sure.

52:16 Adam Very rare, very rare.

52:17 We could go on a date and.

52:18 Adam Yeah, go on a date and have sex.

52:20 Caller I mean, it may have been cause maybe like I was madly in love with him and like very glad.

52:24 Drew But Jen, you stated it six different ways you're not into him anymore.

52:27 Adam You're done.

52:27 Drew You said it five different ways. Yes, you're not. You gotta come to grips with it. It's so common at your age that you don't, A, realize when a relationship has run its course and then B, even when you do realize it, don't know how to end it. And listen, your sex drive tells you as much as anything. Your body is telling you you're not into it.

52:47 Caller I mean, that's what worries me. The thing is, when I still hang out with them now, I still feel the same way giddy and happy around them. I love being around them. We can sit there and watch a movie just the same way as we did the first week we started dating. But he just seems way more interested in the sexual thing. And I don't know if that's what's making me not want to, because the more he brings it up, the more I'm just like, stop bringing it up. Give me a chance to make the move on you. I don't know if that's what it is.

53:15 Drew Yeah, women do get that way, where they're feeling like exploited and sort of intruded upon and it's-

53:20 Adam How often do you-

53:22 Caller Well, lately it's been like maybe once a month. I mean, and I do work a lot. Like, I mean, I work like seven days a week, and then he goes to school every morning and I work every morning. And it's like, so we try to get together at night, but then like for some reason something won't work or, I mean, and then when we do hang out, it's like, I'm like, well, let's watch a movie. I'm really tired. I had a long day, you know?

53:42 Adam Yeah, yeah.

53:46 Caller All right.

53:49 Adam I don't know. It feels like the things run its course.

53:51 Drew Yeah, I understand you care about them a great deal. And it's always a very special feeling, that first love relationship. And it sounds like you even still have more than, again, your body's telling you you have, but you're interested in other things.

54:05 Adam Why are you looking at other guys?

54:09 Caller No, and that's the thing that worries me. Like, I'm not, like, I mean, I'm not. And I'm thinking, like, well, if I'm not interested in him, you know, should I be interested in somebody else? I mean, I'm a server at a restaurant, so I work around lots of guys that are not bad looking, but they're not him, you know what I mean?

54:26 Adam I know you guys switched it from waiter and waitress to server. Server? Worse. Worse. You. Serve me. Serve me. My grub.

54:38 Drew Let's servant. It's a derivative.

54:40 Adam Yeah, it's not like you look. I understand the move from cockpit to flight deck. Yeah. Cockpit sounds like a gay bar and flight deck sounds like, you know, a bunch of good looking NASA guys loosening their ties up and making important decisions with coffee mugs. That sounds that sounds much better. Waitress to server.

55:06 Drew Whatever.

55:07 Adam That's bad idea. Bad plan.

55:09 Drew Anyway, Jen, just keep your eyes open. You may want to wrap this thing. You're 18 supposed to happen. It may be just almost a protective thing. Your body naturally does your your emotions are doing that is, and that is not going on forever in this relationship. Getting on and figure out who you are dating other people. It's an important thing to do.

55:28 Adam I am I'm not a special needs person. I'm a Tardo. That's really that's what it that's what it is. It's it's going from sort of bad to horrible. Just do better. Server server. It sounds like you get like a like you should be cupping my nuts while I'm eating too. Could you cut my nuts? They're K. Hey server cut this cut this meat up for me and then feed it to me. No better yet chew it up spit in my mouth. Thank you. Rub my feet please. Waitress. Waiter. What's wrong with waitress and waiter? And why is the female version of it bad but the male isn't? I mean waiters no big deal but waitress please. We're gonna call them waitress. You know steward. Oh that's fine stewardess come on it's demeaning demeaning. Why just because you got a set of boobs it's demeaning because we made we saw a difference between the the male and female version of the word. You know what I mean? Steward. No problem. Waiter. No fun. Waitress. Stewardess. demeaning.

56:31 Drew One thing that concerns me is when you don't allow for clear-cut feminine terms that should be demeaning that you're eradicating things that identify the specific yeah and empower that.

56:43 Adam Yeah pissed off lesbians. I mean let's face it. I just like when groups screw themselves.

56:49 Drew I don't like that.

56:50 Adam I think it's funny. I think it's funny. John.

56:54 Hey how's it going man?

56:55 Adam Twenty five what's going on?

56:58 Actually about three months actually there's two different things. About three months ago I started to get I went online and found out I have psoriasis on my head.

57:08 Drew Whoa whoa whoa whoa. What do you mean you went online you're fat? I would have told making diagnosis of psoriasis you have no business even trying to do that.

57:14 Adam The heartbreak of psoriasis.

57:15 Drew Psoriasis is basically a well go ahead what's the question? You don't have psoriasis.

57:20 Well, I put my symptoms in or whatever and on this online dig and it had told me that it seemed that I had psoriasis or whatever.

57:29 Drew No you don't have psoriasis.

57:30 Adam How do you know?

57:31 Drew Because he has seborrhea because that's what occurs on the head. What is it? Seborrhea.

57:36 Adam Oh the heartbreak of seborrhea.

57:38 Drew Yeah you have seborrhea of course. Psoriasis occurs on extensor surfaces it occurs in your knees, elbows, places like that. If you have it on top of your head you have it ten other places too.

57:46 Adam It's on your joints. It's like on the outside too isn't it?

57:50 Drew Extensor surface starts on the elbows and knees and that sort of thing. Why? Okay I don't have anything anywhere else. Right so it's seborrhea and it's oily scales and that's psoriasis. I beg your pardon that's seborrhea.

58:01 It starts flaking like really really badly and starts scaling up. My question about that is that it's starting to spread like farther down on my forehead and such. Yes it's seborrhea. I was just wondering if it's...

58:13 Drew It gets into your eyelashes and into the folds in your nose here. That's typical seborrhea distribution. Are you on any medication?

58:20 No, I haven't. The only thing I've done is my uncle is a doctor so I asked him about it and he said that it might be some chemicals from work but there's no way that it is that.

58:30 Drew And you're on no medication or vitamins or anything?

58:32 Not yet. I've been using like...

58:34 Drew I don't mean to treat it. I mean are you on anything chronically? Anything?

58:37 No. No, not at all.

58:38 Drew I'm just frustrated. I'm waking up though. It's good.

58:41 Adam Yeah, back to bed.

58:43 Drew No, no. So, John, there's tons of treatments for seborrhea. Tons. You know, you need to see a dermatologist.

58:49 Adam Your uncle, the doctor?

58:50 Drew Didn't look at it? Did he see it?

58:52 Yeah, he looked at it.

58:53 Drew It's seborrhea. Okay.

58:55 Adam And he said it was seborrhea?

58:56 No, he just told me that it was... He told me that it looked like it was... That it looked like it was... What'd he ask for?

59:09 Drew Anyway, on the board here... It says he has a concern that's going to go from his head to his genitalia, and these are not infectious diseases that you can't transmit, and they can't occur down there.

59:25 Adam It used to be a... I don't know if it was like head and shoulders or a cake ran or something.

59:28 Drew There's tons of... There's steroid creams and a bunch of stuff. You need to see a dermatologist.

59:33 Adam All right, but what about that dandruff shampoo?

59:36 Drew Yeah.

59:36 Adam It does? It takes care of that?

59:38 Drew Well, selenium-based shampoos are good. The selsun.

59:40 Adam You don't even know what a lazy F I am.

59:43 Drew Yes, I know.

59:43 Adam Let me tell you how lazy I am.

59:45 Drew Pray tell.

59:46 Adam I don't really use shampoo too often.

59:49 Drew You use just a bar? Oh, my God.

59:53 Adam I just let the water run on me. It's good enough. Hot water a couple of times a week. I'm pretty good about that. Not a smelly guy. I don't seem to need to lather up every five minutes. So, I showered downstairs, and for some reason, the only shampoo that was available, like just sitting in the shower, was dandruff shampoo. I have no idea who it is, how it got in the house. I never bought it. I didn't even know what it was doing in there. But there it was. And it's the only thing around. So, I used dandruff shampoo for about a year. Because it was there. Because it was there. And it's not good for your hair, so I hear, I don't know, I have no dandruff. I just decided to use it. Here's what I'm saying. I'm that lazy that I used a medicated shampoo. I had no idea what its origins were. Just because it was there. And I was too goddamn lazy to go down the hill and buy anything.

1:00:47 Drew Fits.

1:00:47 Adam Yeah, that's me.

1:00:48 Drew That's you.

1:00:49 Adam And by the way, yeah, not a big shampoo guy. A little hot water in the hair. You what? You lather up every time?

1:00:56 Drew Every time.

1:00:57 Adam Really?

1:00:57 Drew Yeah.

1:00:57 Adam How many times? What do you do? Take a shower once a day?

1:01:00 Drew I suppose if I work out, I'll do it again. I sweat when I work out.

1:01:04 Adam What about these jack-offs who get up in the morning, take a shower, and then go do something like construction or something or go to the gym or something? And they're like, yeah, I take a shower in the morning. It's like, yeah, take a shower, but you're pouring concrete all day out in the sun. You just take a shower when you get home? Not you. But you use shampoo, huh? Not me. Although when I do, I put a little extra dollop for downstairs.

1:01:27 Drew That's nice.

1:01:27 Adam That's my thing.

1:01:28 Drew Do you use it for the hair downstairs or for what you do to yourself downstairs?

1:01:31 Adam Whatever. No, no. No, I'm not a loon man. I don't beat in the shower. That's off limits. Actually, no, it's not really.

1:01:39 Drew I thought about that. Anywhere is off limits for you.

1:01:41 Adam Yeah, that's right. That's right. As long as the shower is on the planet, right? Yeah. Dylan? You're 24?

1:01:49 Caller Yes, I am, sir.

1:01:50 Adam What's up?

1:01:51 Caller Well, you know, I've been listening to you guys for quite some time over the last, you know, so many years, but I would say in the last three months or so, in regards to you guys dealing with relationships, you seem to be real, well, negative and quick to just like drop the situation and leave. I'm wondering why that is. In the past, there used to be, Dr. Drew especially, would kind of give constructive criticism or in a way...

1:02:20 Adam Well, alright, here's a, quiet down, here's what goes on. Drew, stop me if you disagree. We like to find out, A, if there's kids involved. If there's kids involved...

1:02:32 Drew Then you can find a way to solve it.

1:02:34 Adam We usually make a plea that they get some therapy or do something like that. And then, the second step is if they're married, or both. But if they're married, you know, try to fix this thing up. We're talking to a lot of 17, 18, 19 year olds who've been in relationships for a year or two and it clearly sounds like it's run its course. Actually, two scenarios, we've had them tonight. Which is, I'm 21, I've been with this person since my junior year of high school, and we seem like we're just friends now, we don't really have sex or whatever. That's it, you've been together for three and a half years, break up. We know more than you do. We wish someone would have told us to do that when we were that age. The other one is, you know, we want to have a threesome, you know, weird addict codependency, screwed up, you know, the only reason they're together is because they're both effed up, just effed up enough to be attracted to each other. And here's why. Because what you need to do when you're 21 and you're effed up is not just sit with another person in a ball of your own filth and be effed up together. You need to be alone. You need some therapy, you need to do things, you need to strike out on your own.

1:03:53 Drew Because a dysfunctional relationship keeps you stuck. Right. It's going to make sure you stay right where you are.

1:03:59 Adam It's hard to progress when you're, when there's somebody as nutty as you and you guys are humping.

1:04:05 Caller But a third scenario that also came up tonight, and though not the perfect scenario to deal with, is the case of that guy who called in and his quote-unquote or not-so-so-so friend was mystery sickness.

1:04:18 Drew Yeah, we couldn't, we just couldn't crack that one.

1:04:20 Adam Yeah, well, here, we told him to move on, not because, and we told him to move on because he didn't have a relationship.

1:04:29 Drew Yeah, he was delusional about what the relationship was.

1:04:32 Caller Yeah, it wasn't a perfect example, but you know, something where he did sound like he was interested and really caring, you know, you could tell him to say, you know, go for it.

1:04:42 Adam No, well, there's a difference between sort of caring and obsessing.

1:04:47 Drew Yeah, he's a stalker, basically. Well, I mean, basically, that's where that was going.

1:04:53 Adam Here's the thing. Okay, let me let me say this. We hear millions of calls a year and we only have a short period of time to discuss these calls because I have to talk about my personal life and my family and things that are that I'm thinking of and troubling me and affecting me, Adam Carolla personally. So we have a very brief period of time for you guys to our show. We may dedicate eight minutes of them. A good night on a good night. Yeah, I'd say more than a four to five minute. I mean, per call. Yeah, yeah. I mean, overall, combined. Yeah. So we do. Seriously, we hear we hear people. We hear the tone of the voice. We hear the rap. We hear their story. We know what we're looking for certain things. You know, she's my girlfriend. Really, if you ever had sex, well, no.

1:05:48 Drew Again, as soon as they start dancing, right, then immediately, you know, they're not they're not telling you the whole truth.

1:05:54 Adam Well, is she your girlfriend? Well, we're dating.

1:05:57 Drew And she never dated before she had boyfriend. Never did.

1:05:59 Adam Right, right. So we hear a few things and we make a snap judgment and we stand by those.

1:06:06 Drew And maybe, you know, because I deal with addicts, alcoholics all day and I'm so used to calling people in their BS so used to it, that it's very quick and easy to dig through BS. It really is. If that sounds harsh, it's important to get people to reality. Listen, all mental health is, is dealing with reality on reality's terms. That's it. That's mental health. Accepting reality and coping with it. We gotta go break, huh?

1:06:31 Adam Jessica.

1:06:33 Drew Yeah.

1:06:33 Adam Gotta help the kids. You're 18? What's happening?

1:06:37 Caller Um, I'm a little abusive to my boyfriends and it's starting to really affect the relationships.

1:06:44 Drew Boyfriends?

1:06:46 Adam Well, in the past.

1:06:46 Caller It happened with more than one guy.

1:06:49 Drew So, where did you learn that? What kind of violence were you exposed to growing up?

1:06:53 Caller Um, not really a lot. When I was young, like really, really young, my dad, I guess, you know, he disciplined us or whatever, but I don't remember.

1:07:05 Drew Okay, but that has the most profound effect on you.

1:07:08 Adam Well, how did he discipline you?

1:07:10 Caller Well, like spanking, you know, stuff like that.

1:07:14 Drew Physical abuse.

1:07:15 Adam Uh-huh.

1:07:15 Drew And that leaves profound imprints on your development and your brain, even though you might not even have this sort of a classic sort of pattern where people forget or push it aside or have dealt with it and they don't have any explicit memories, but they have implicit memories. It's left its mark, a footprint on your brain function.

1:07:31 Adam You know, I'm going to discipline my kid with compressed air so it doesn't leave a mark. Yeah, like.

1:07:39 Drew Go up the couch.

1:07:40 Adam No, I mean, like, like, like I got like a 30, 30 gallon compressor, it runs off a 220, I think fires up, it hits you with a blast, maybe 120 PSI, it just, you know, dry their eyes out, mess their hair up, flap their cheeks around, give them a shot up a nostril, hit them in the ass with it, and it never any marks, never leave mark. We'll see if we can catch them all. We'll see if we can catch them all. We'll see if we can catch them all. We'll see if we can catch them all. We'll see if we can catch them all.

1:08:30 Caller We'll see if we can catch them all. We'll see if we can catch them all.

1:08:37 Adam Right, but don't you wish you'd used compressed air instead of the belt?

1:08:41 Caller Yeah, because it probably wouldn't have hurt.

1:08:43 Adam Yeah, just dry up a little bit.

1:08:45 Drew Yeah.

1:08:46 Caller Like one reason I was thinking, well, what I thought it was because of, because when I was 11, I was raped.

1:08:54 Drew No, the physical abuse is what set you up to be a victim.

1:08:56 Adam Who raped you when you were 11?

1:08:58 Caller Just some guy I didn't know.

1:09:00 Drew Really? And why did you freeze? Why didn't you fight it off?

1:09:04 Caller Exactly, that's what I'm saying. I was with two other friends and he had a gun. Really? Yeah.

1:09:11 Adam Where were you?

1:09:12 Caller We were walking to a store. And he was sitting down there or whatever and then he forced us to go back there. Like he had the gun hidden in like a cardboard box. And then when we walked past, he was like, oh, you know, brings out the gun and he's like, hey, walk back there.

1:09:30 Adam And where'd you walk to?

1:09:32 Caller It was behind the buildings, you know, where they get their shipment or they take out the trash.

1:09:38 Adam Just during the day?

1:09:39 Caller Yeah, during the day.

1:09:41 Adam And what were the other, what'd your other two friends do?

1:09:45 Caller What were we supposed to do?

1:09:47 Drew Did they just watch while this happened? Did they scream or?

1:09:50 Adam No, I don't mean, why didn't they give the guy karate chop? I just mean, where were they? Did they have to go with you?

1:09:55 Caller Did they watch? Yeah, we were all walking together.

1:09:58 Adam I know you were all walking together, but when he pulled out the, when he brandished the box, did he say all three of you back here?

1:10:06 Caller Yeah.

1:10:07 Adam All right, don't get snooty about it. I'm just trying to figure out if you got right. That's why I'm saying.

1:10:12 Drew And the other two didn't?

1:10:14 Caller One of the girl did.

1:10:16 Drew All right, so.

1:10:17 Adam Oh my God. And this is a business hours, daylight in the city?

1:10:24 Caller It was about 5.30, I think.

1:10:26 Adam Nope, nobody ever came around or anything, huh?

1:10:31 Caller Not behind there really.

1:10:33 Adam And so what happened then when he left?

1:10:36 Caller When he, okay, when he left, really stupid. What he raped us in was one of those big recycling bins, not really a bin, but you know, the big ones that you can use for trucks and stuff.

1:10:49 Adam Yeah, yeah.

1:10:50 Caller In one of those, it was cardboard boxes.

1:10:53 Adam Right.

1:10:53 Caller And then so when we came out of there, he told us to wait there for 10 minutes.

1:10:57 Adam Right.

1:10:58 Caller And he walked one way and as soon as he went past the building, we ran the other way.

1:11:02 Adam Of course. All right. And then who'd you talk to?

1:11:07 Caller We went into a store and told them that we'd gotten raped. So they called the police and all that.

1:11:13 Adam And did they ever find the guy?

1:11:15 Caller Yeah, actually the guy that it was, he had come to our house a day before asking about my brother's motorcycle, if it was for sale and stuff. And he wasn't there and so he left. And then two days after we were raped, we were all at my house and he came to my house to inquire about it again. And my dad had answered the door because like detectives and all that.

1:11:40 Adam That must have been some nice bike.

1:11:43 Caller Not really, but yeah.

1:11:45 Drew But again, you need to have treatment for these traumas.

1:11:47 Adam Wait a minute. Yeah, you do. But so your dad answered the door and what happened?

1:11:54 Caller Two of my friends were standing, the two other girls that were with me, when it happened, we had been together like the whole week, you know, right? Cause you know, whatever. And they were behind them and I was walking down the hallway and they saw him and they said, that's him. And he took off running and my dad chased him and tackled them across the street. And my aunt was there, you know, after she had heard what happened, she came down and then she called the cops while my dad held him.

1:12:21 Adam All right. So is he in jail now?

1:12:25 Caller Actually, I really, I don't know.

1:12:27 Adam Did he turn out to be like a weird, homeless, nutty guy or was he like a regular rapist guy?

1:12:32 Caller No, he was 15. Kid, he lived a street down from us. And...

1:12:41 Adam Here goes the neighborhood. Well, look, therapy, baby doll, for that horrible experience.

1:12:46 Drew Yeah, no wonder you have trouble containing aggression.

1:12:48 Adam Did he ever have a gun, by the way?

1:12:50 Caller Did he ever have a gun?

1:12:51 Drew Did he actually have a gun?

1:12:52 Caller Yeah.

1:12:53 Adam He did. He showed it to you. Yeah.

1:12:55 Caller Yeah.

1:12:56 Adam Okay. Yeah, all right, baby. I'm putting some things together. Tackling dad, motorcycle, neighborhood, brother. I'm starting to get sort of like biker, white trash, sort of a mask type thing. Maybe a little speed floating around, some violence, some chaos. That's what we're dealing with. Yeah, okay. But let me tell you about the abusive dad. He may be kicking your ass one day. The next day he's kicking the 15 year old rapist ass. That's a good dad. My dad never beat me but believe me, Jack the Ripper could have showed up and gave him five bucks and have a nice day. Dad, go get him. That would involve joint movement. Now I've got to sit down and read. What would your dad have done, Drew? Would he have gone after him?

1:13:45 Drew I imagine.

1:13:47 Adam My dad would have moved? Never. Not a thousand million years. Puss. I don't know if you know that. I've heard say 100 percent pussy. Maybe 110 percent. Puss. Let me tell you something. Anybody kick my dad's ass. Wheelchair bound doesn't matter. It doesn't matter what your disability is. You put a smack down on my dad. Let's take a break.

1:14:08 Drew That's a good idea.

1:14:09 Adam We'll be right back after this. A little fart fly there. 1-800-LLV-E-191 is the phone number. There's Dr. Drew, I'm Adam. Dear, dear, black friend, David Alan Greer, Dags, I call him. He's also known as my main man.

1:14:54 Drew Nice.

1:14:55 Adam In here tomorrow night.

1:14:56 Drew And you'll be on the corporate jet.

1:14:59 Adam Yes, I'll be heading to Houston with Jimmy on some like ABC corporate jet or maybe it's a Disney thing. I don't know, but looking forward to that. Man, you guys can look forward to Dag tomorrow night. All right, ready to go here, there, buddy, buddy, buddy? Michael?

1:15:19 Yeah.

1:15:20 Adam You're 19?

1:15:21 Yep.

1:15:24 Adam Drew, you know, I ate a bowl of cereal for dinner. That's it. It's kicking in.

1:15:28 Drew Oh, that's right, you get farts from dried fruit and cereal, don't you?

1:15:31 Adam Yeah, you know what this thing was? It was like oat bran with the dried cherries in it. Yeah, you give me the dried fruit and the raisins and stuff and you mix it with the bran and the milk. That's me. All right, go ahead, Michael.

1:15:45 Caller Oh yeah, I just got circumcised like a year ago. And before I got circumcised, I was like 20, 25, 30 minute guy, now it's like 5, 10 minutes, if that.

1:15:58 Drew So you ejaculate more quickly.

1:16:00 Caller Right, when I have sex.

1:16:02 Drew Are you having sex more often or less often?

1:16:05 Caller I think I started having it more often after I became circumcised.

1:16:09 Drew All right, that may be why you're not last.

1:16:12 Adam No, no, here's what's happening. The sensitivity is greater because, hey, listen, Drew, I know what I'm talking about.

1:16:22 Drew That's been studied. I know that the skin is not as thick in the circumcised male. Drew, let me explain.

1:16:27 Adam First off, when are you going to learn that I know everything and that you never, ever argue with me? All right, you want to hear it? Let a nice fart fly because Drew wanted to hear one. Is that what you're talking about? Nothing better than when a fart can be sort of worked into a conversation. You want to hear it? That's great. You should be in here, Michael. It's very funny. Here's the theory. Here's my theory. Here's my theory. When you're circumcised, your head, the head of your penis, that is, or uncircumcised, I should say, is more sensitive. More sensitive. And I don't know, when you had sex, now when you had sex before and you were uncircumcised, did the skin pull back? Did it pull back? Yeah. When you had sex.

1:17:25 Caller Yeah.

1:17:26 Drew This is bogus. You're picking up on that?

1:17:30 Caller When I'd erect and the skin would pull back, you know, it'd get, it actually get bigger, you know, so the skin would go back. So.

1:17:42 Drew Smart guy.

1:17:42 Adam Yeah. How much, how much did the circumcision cost?

1:17:46 Caller I was under my parents' insurance.

1:17:49 Adam Why? Why? Yeah.

1:17:51 Drew What was the medical indication for it? It's an elective procedure.

1:17:56 Adam What? Went in.

1:17:58 Caller I went to the doctor and told him I wanted it done. Cause I, you know.

1:18:01 Drew And the insurance paid for it?

1:18:02 Adam Yeah.

1:18:03 Caller The insurance paid for it.

1:18:04 Caller They just, they put it under medical problems or something like that.

1:18:07 Drew Yeah. What medical problems, what medical necessity did they, they say it was?

1:18:12 Caller I don't know. The doctor just wrote it up and he said that. I think he said it was like a peeing problem or something.

1:18:20 Drew Okay.

1:18:20 Adam Here's, here's my theory. You, the head of your penis is more sensitive than guys who've had their head of their penis whacking against the side of their pants since three months of age. And maybe that extra sensitivity is what's causing the gun to go off a little too fast. But here's the thing. It'll, it'll, it'll numb up for lack of a better term. It'll acclimate to its new environment.

1:18:48 Drew It's actually been studied. And even though there's this difference in the thickness of the skin at the head of the penis, it has no effect on performance. It has been studied.

1:18:55 Adam No, it's, it's, it's much more sensitive.

1:18:58 Drew But it doesn't affect performance.

1:19:00 Adam Well, I don't, I don't know how more sensitivity.

1:19:02 Drew The one you put a condom on.

1:19:04 Adam Oh, you put a condom on. What are you asking?

1:19:06 Drew Because it doesn't make any, it won't make any difference.

1:19:08 Adam Listen, Drew, I, I know more about this than you do. You're coming at it with your, your angles. I understand that's a...

1:19:15 Drew No, I just, they would say finally studied it. And it showed, there's always been this, oh, it's the, you know, sensitivity also. In fact, I think I have the article here.

1:19:21 Adam Well, listen, being, being more sensitive, they're saying it doesn't make any difference in the time.

1:19:28 Drew Right.

1:19:30 Adam Yeah, but you're used to what you have. That's what, that's my argument. Nicole? He, listen, he always, he dramatically changed the lifestyle of his penis. And, and that's gonna affect things in bed for a while. I imagine it'll even out at some point, wouldn't you?

1:19:47 Drew Perhaps.

1:19:47 Adam And he'll go back to wherever he was.

1:19:49 Drew Yes. And I'm saying there may be something else, some other factor here that's figuring into all this.

1:19:54 Adam All right. Nicole?

1:19:57 Drew Nicole?

1:19:59 Adam What happened to Nicole? Nicole?

1:20:03 Drew Oh, come on.

1:20:04 Adam I'm trying to Nicole. Wait a minute, is there another Nicole under this Nicole? Let's go to Tristan.

1:20:09 Drew Tristan Nicole.

1:20:10 Adam Tristan? You're 19? What's the matter?

1:20:15 Caller I guess I was just curious to know where the line is between like healthy sexual exploration and dysfunctional.

1:20:26 Drew Consequences, it's all based on consequences.

1:20:29 Adam All right, that's a good answer. Anything bad happening? Yeah, like look, you get on the internet, have some sex with some transvestite he-she and they stab you with a coat hanger.

1:20:42 Drew That's a problem.

1:20:43 Adam That's a consequence. You make out with some dude at a party who you always had a crush on and it's no big deal. So what are you doing?

1:20:53 Caller Well, I just have a couple of friends who are concerned about me, but I.

1:20:58 Adam Well, what are you doing? And by the way, what are you doing means what are you doing? Now, what are your friends that are concerned about you?

1:21:07 Caller Basically I'm, I don't even know if I would call it dating. Basically sleeping with somebody who is who is about 12 years older than me. And he lived with his girlfriend.

1:21:21 Adam Oh, by the way, that's, that's wave house. These guys that are living with a chick and banging some crazy 19 year olds who could just have a couple of wine coolers and come on by anytime.

1:21:34 Caller Brave too.

1:21:35 Adam Yeah. You have his home phone number and stuff.

1:21:38 Caller Well, she actually caught us kind of. She found my phone number on his phone bill and called my house and he was giving a third degree and all of our friends a third degree. And he lied out of it.

1:21:51 Adam You know, you know the part, you know, the part I like, I like the part where the girl says, uh, hey, I found this phone number. Uh, why don't you, why don't you call it up and I'll get on the other line. Oh, listen, I'm not doing anything with her, but I'm not, you know, I was like the, uh, nothing's going on. Not, this is nothing, but I'm not going to do whatever you're asking me to do. By the way, most diabolical thing ever that's sort of, you call this person, I'll pick up the other line, and don't, yeah, don't mention, don't mention anything. I'm listening. See how that goes. And the person's always like, ha, I'm not doing anything, but I'll never do that. These are, these are the, uh, The guilty as hell. These are the super guilty people are like, they're innocent, I'm just not taking a lie detector test. Right. Uh, that's, uh, that's not my kid, uh, but I'm not going to take a paternity test. That's, uh, all right. Tristan. Yeah. So what happened?

1:22:46 Caller Well, um, she thought I was a friend of his. That's actually a mutual friend of ours. His name is Jason. Cause every time I would call and he was with her, he would call me Jason. And I just knew he was with her and I'd be like, all right, we'll call me back whenever you get a chance. And so, but I mean, this has been going on since September.

1:23:07 Drew Well, this has nothing to do with exploration. This is a, this is a very seriously disturbed relationship. So when you have to have an unavailable guy, you know, you're, you're stalking an unavailable guy.

1:23:17 Adam What did she say when the girlfriend called though?

1:23:20 Caller She asked if Jason was there and I told her he wasn't home. And then he started in lies about how I lived with him. And then he actually, our friend had no idea that we were even fooling around.

1:23:34 Drew The Jason.

1:23:36 Caller Right. He didn't even know we like talked ever. And so she called him and questioned it.

1:23:44 Adam Well, let's, let's, let's get with the, So she questioned him and busted you guys.

1:23:49 Caller Yeah. But so I, I basically at that point was like, all right, well it's over. And then about four days after that, he called me and was like, well, I miss you. I want to come see you.

1:23:58 Drew He's a sociopath. Why, why it's a lie. Yeah. Why would you put up with this?

1:24:03 Caller Because it's, it's more comfortable for me to be in.

1:24:09 Adam Yeah.

1:24:09 Caller A very non-committed relationship.

1:24:12 Adam Non-threatening relationship.

1:24:12 Drew Right, a relationship where you can't actually have the guy.

1:24:14 Adam What does this guy do? Is he sells something or is in the restaurant business? Oh, yeah, that's bad times, selling ink. All right, Tristan, what happened? Your dad split?

1:24:32 Caller No, actually me and my dad have a very good relationship. I knew you guys were gonna bring that up.

1:24:36 Adam Nobody cheated?

1:24:37 Caller In my family?

1:24:39 Drew Yeah.

1:24:39 Caller Not with my parents, no.

1:24:41 Adam No?

1:24:42 Caller I mean, the rest of my family is completely screwed, but my immediate family is actually pretty normal.

1:24:47 Drew What do you mean the rest of your family?

1:24:49 Caller What happened?

1:24:51 Caller Well, I just mean extended family as an alcoholic uncle and a Piscatillion pastor uncle, a gay uncle.

1:24:57 Drew Nobody abused you or anything going on?

1:25:00 Adam Then look, you're 19. You're looking for cheap thrills. That's it. I mean, look, you're growing out of the bad boy in the dangerous situation age as a woman. This is, if there was no abuse and your dad's still around and nobody cheated on anybody, what's the problem, Drew?

1:25:17 Drew These are your biological parents? And your mom's okay?

1:25:21 Caller Well, recently my mom was sick, but she's okay now.

1:25:25 Drew What's up with her?

1:25:27 Caller My senior year of high school, she came down with colon cancer.

1:25:32 Drew Ooh, so maybe this is some sort of attempt to manage all those feelings.

1:25:37 Adam Senior year of high schools, she's old.

1:25:40 Caller I mean, because right after that, I moved, like right after she had her surgeries, I moved to Florida.

1:25:47 Adam All right, if she didn't take a three count between every goddamn syllable, I'd stay with this, but it's way too long anyway.

1:25:56 Drew So she needs to stop. She needs to cut this out. This is some sort of a short term reaction to all the stuff she's been dealing with and part of being 19 to 22, cut it out.

1:26:04 Adam Well, we've talked about this a million times, which is, were you abused? Was there cheating? Was there physical abuse, sexual abuse, alcohol abuse? No, no, no. Good, then stop.

1:26:15 Drew Yeah.

1:26:16 Adam You know what I'm saying?

1:26:17 Drew Yeah, then she can do that. Oh, man, you're going to town.

1:26:20 Adam It's starting to percolate. There's nothing there.

1:26:22 Drew Not yet.

1:26:23 Adam Yeah. Well, it's a little bit.

1:26:25 Drew Oh, let's go. Let's go. Break.

1:26:26 Adam A little bit.

1:26:27 Drew A little bit.

1:26:29 Adam No, no, break. All right. We'll be right back. Love Line. We'll be right back. Hey, everybody, it's Loveline, I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. All right, Drew, let's rock, baby.

1:27:00 Drew Here we go.

1:27:00 Adam What do you say now? Yeah. Let's get going now.

1:27:02 Drew Go, come on.

1:27:03 Adam Let's go now, buddy. Let's go now. Hey, get a hand in here, buddy. Grab a knee, everyone, grab a knee. Break down, let's go. Don't sit on your helmet now. It's not a chair. You know how unfunny coaches and PE coaches and stuff were? And a big laugh. Come on, ladies. Come on, gentlemen. Don't use that term loosely. See, all you have to have is like this. If you're in sports and you have just this much, just a modicum of a sense of humor, it's like, oh, this guy's hysterical, man.

1:27:36 He is funny.

1:27:38 Adam Chris? What's happening? How's it going? You're 20. Let's get a hand in, buddy. Let's go now. Let's go. Break it down. Let's go.

1:27:47 I'm trying here. I've been having sex since I was 14.

1:27:51 Adam All right. All right now. That's what I like.

1:27:54 But I've had six partners for the first six partners. Yeah. And I never used a condom with them.

1:28:00 Adam Never? Never? Okay now. Never a condom.

1:28:03 Drew Why not?

1:28:04 I was dumb, you know?

1:28:06 Adam Stupid now. All right now.

1:28:08 Now it's getting handy.

1:28:09 Adam I like that. I like that. Self-deprecating.

1:28:10 I was in high school and every time I had it, it was just spur of the moment.

1:28:15 Adam Right, spontaneity.

1:28:17 And during the whole time, I was wearing like briefs. And then my recent girlfriend-

1:28:22 Adam Paul Nuggets, yeah.

1:28:24 Seriously. And then last summer I started wearing boxers and I got a girlfriend and we had sex and then she got pregnant.

1:28:31 Adam All right, knocked her up now. Let's go now. Get a ball in.

1:28:35 Okay, well my question is, is she kind of brought to my attention the fact that the boxers like increased the sperm count or my briefs reduced the sperm count?

1:28:43 Adam Nothing to do with anything.

1:28:45 And that kind of made sense to me and I was wondering if that's actually science.

1:28:48 Adam Made sense to an idiot.

1:28:51 Drew Yeah, there has occasionally been some suspicion.

1:28:55 Adam Neither here nor there.

1:28:57 Drew Yeah, it probably doesn't make a damn bit of difference. What was that? Probably doesn't make any difference.

1:29:01 Adam No difference.

1:29:03 Drew I think so.

1:29:04 Adam That's right, buddy. All right, thanks. All right, buddy, let's go now. Thank you. Thanks for calling in. All right, come on, gather around. Break it down. Get a hand in now. Grab a knee. Let's go now. Let's talk it up. Let's chat it up. Who you wanna go, Drew?

1:29:16 Drew Five? Five, let's go.

1:29:18 Adam Who's on five? You don't know. I don't see anything on five.

1:29:21 Drew I know, but I wanna go to five.

1:29:22 Adam Why?

1:29:23 Drew Because nothing is better than everything else up there.

1:29:26 Adam All right, buddy, let's go. Let's punch five. Who's up now? Matt, what do you say there, buddy? How old are you?

1:29:33 Caller I am 32.

1:29:35 Adam 32 years age. What can we do for you tonight, buddy?

1:29:38 Caller Well, I've got a question for you, Adam, and a question for Drew. All right, get a hand in now.

1:29:44 Adam Come on, break it down. Grab a knee now.

1:29:46 Caller I'm a philosophy professor, and I got a free paper from a student having to do with worries about the government and worries about law enforcement. Look it out for the man. And I see-

1:30:05 Drew They're becoming psychotic.

1:30:06 Adam Paranoid, second gunman on the grassy knoll.

1:30:11 Caller I seem to recall you're saying something about long-term speed or mass abuse.

1:30:19 Drew Not long-term, you get paranoid very quickly. And the paranoias are always, not so much about the government. They're focused on friends, families, co-workers, that sort of thing. How old is this kid?

1:30:28 Adam Hit in the math pipe.

1:30:29 Caller I don't know.

1:30:31 Drew A student-aged person who starts to have paranoia and it's generalized, it's schizophrenia or bipolar mania.

1:30:39 Caller Yeah. Okay, Adam, my question for you, it's a rambling question.

1:30:44 Adam Talking about rambling, subject I know well. Get a hand in now. Gotta ramble from the devil ladies.

1:30:51 Caller In the Almond Brothers song, the Ramble Man was born in the back of a Greyhound bus driving down Highway 41, right?

1:30:57 Drew Yeah, yeah.

1:30:57 Caller So it stands to reason that the best rambling states would be the states through which Highway 41 runs.

1:31:05 Drew Now, but he doesn't specify inter or intrastate.

1:31:10 Adam On the 41?

1:31:12 Caller No, no. There's one Highway 41 in the United States. It starts up on Lake Superior and it ends down in Florida.

1:31:21 Drew That's the interstate 41, but there may be intrastate 41s out there.

1:31:28 Caller There's Highway 41, which is like Highway 44.

1:31:32 Drew Rollin down Highway 41, it's Highway. That's what he's talking about.

1:31:36 Adam Yeah, it doesn't say I-41. All right, but anyway, let the professor finish his rambling thesis. Go ahead.

1:31:45 Caller So, Highway 41 goes through the following states. Wisconsin. Wisconsin.

1:31:53 Drew Go to Ramblin State.

1:31:54 Caller Indiana.

1:31:55 Drew Go to Ramblin State.

1:31:55 Adam Yeah, Indiana is strong. Kentucky, strong.

1:31:59 Caller Alabama.

1:31:59 Adam Tennessee, doesn't get much better, Tennessee, for ramblin. Georgia, only thing better is Florida. Florida, good ramblin.

1:32:06 Caller Good ramblin. Now, those are Ramblin States.

1:32:08 Adam I mean-

1:32:09 Drew Absolutely.

1:32:09 Adam Yeah, it's true. It's absolutely true.

1:32:12 Drew Well done, well done.

1:32:13 Adam Nice work, Matt. That's fantastic work.

1:32:15 Drew What kind of philosopher are you focused on, Matt?

1:32:17 Caller Ramblin. I do religion, metaphysics, mind.

1:32:23 Drew Ooh, interesting, interesting.

1:32:24 Adam Nice, where do you teach?

1:32:26 Caller UCLA.

1:32:27 Adam No, bad rambling school.

1:32:30 Drew It must be very interesting. The neuroscience stuff there of mind is the destination.

1:32:35 Adam A lot of Asians there. Not a rambling people, not a rambling. They don't ramble. Asians can't ramble. I don't know.

1:32:43 Drew Unless they go down Highway 41, then they ramble.

1:32:45 Adam They cannot ramble. They have a gene in them that doesn't let them, prevents them from rambling. Bad rambling race. All right. Take a little break. We'll be right back. You can look forward to the great David Dagg, Alan, Main Man, Greer.

1:33:33 Drew Yeah.

1:33:33 Adam In tomorrow night.

1:33:34 Drew It's gonna be a good time.

1:33:35 Adam All right, and Isha Tyler next week.

1:33:39 Drew Jeff Probst.

1:33:40 Adam Yeah. Looking forward to him and many others. So, until next time, this is Adam Carolla for Dr. Drew saying, mahalo.

1:33:52 This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or this station. The producer for Loveline is Annie Gold. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Wednesday, January 28, 2004