Episode 1000586533929

11:18 Voiceover Let's get on. Line is meant for an adult audience.

11:26 Voiceover Love Line may contain sexually-oriented content.

11:29 Voiceover Listen, discretion is advised.

11:31 Love Line with Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew.

11:35 Voiceover It's the Loveline. I'm Adam. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Dr. Drew, board certified physician, addiction medicine specialist. Angie Everhart's coming here tomorrow, and then Jeremy McGrath will be in here the following day. Yes, Drew.

11:52 Drew Yes, Adam.

11:53 Adam It's weird, you know, just coming back after a lengthy layoff. And we don't go, you know, we're away for the show for what, 11, 12 days, something like that.

12:04 Drew Yeah, it's rare for us.

12:06 Adam Yeah, we don't go that long without working ever, and I just realize I can immediately settle into whatever environment I'm in almost immediately. I was going to bed, I was drinking a bottle of wine a day.

12:20 Drew That's unusual?

12:21 Adam Yeah, it is.

12:22 Drew Why?

12:22 Adam Because usually I drink three bottles. No, usually I don't have time. I come home from work.

12:27 Drew Drink a half a bottle.

12:28 Adam Yeah, drink a half bottle. I come home at 1230 at night, have a couple glasses of wine, and that's that. But now, you know, popping the bottle of wine, it gets dark at five, I pop the thing at 730. It's like 10 o'clock. What happened to the bottle?

12:41 Drew Now what do I do?

12:41 Adam The bottle's gone. You know what I do? You know, it's a psychological thing for me. I'll tell my wife, like, hey, take a sip. And she'll be like, yeah, I don't want to. Take a sip. Then she takes a sip and gives it back to me. And it's like, all right.

12:52 Drew Didn't drink a whole bottle.

12:53 Adam Yeah, she drank part of the bottle. She drank at least half. Oh my God. Yeah. I went to bed last night at 11. I got up at about 11. I went to bed at 11. I got up at 1030. Got out of bed at about 11.

13:05 Drew I did some 12 hour days.

13:07 Adam I got zero problem with this. I'm walking around sort of half erect in sweatpants and muck locks, wearing like three shirts, all T-shirts.

13:16 Drew Buttering to yourself.

13:17 Adam Just talking to myself, wearing a beanie everywhere. Making plans about leaving the house. Well, where are we going to go? You want to go to a movie? Well, what time is it? Well, it's only 1 30. I mean, let me get up.

13:32 Drew It is weird when you don't have structure, isn't it? The day goes by and you're like, I think I did a lot today or maybe I did nothing.

13:37 Adam Well, maybe I should leave. Yeah, you start, you leave. I left the house, like average time leaving the house, like 3.35. Just like coming out, looking around, making like ideas, had ideas about stuff. We should see a movie. I made the movie proclamation like 700 times during the last 11 days. We're going to take a movie.

14:00 Drew My wife gave me that. This is why we have to leave for vacations. We have to go somewhere and do something. She's kind of right. When you're away, it makes you do something.

14:07 Adam It is. It's amazing how fast you, you know, you don't want to remind what I was thinking of. I was thinking about some elderly person you visit in the hospital. They're so vibrant, so alive. And then they broke their hip. And you're looking at them and it's two months later and they're just sort of yellow. And they got the weird snot stuff in their eye and they look all dead and weird. Their teeth are yellow. And you think, what the hell happened? This kid was, this guy was the most vibrant 73 year old I've ever met. Now it looks like he's on death's doorstep. Life is one of those, it's weird. It took me about, it took me about a day and it took me about a week and a half just to realize I could just walk around in my pajamas for another 50 years. Someone would have to come extract me. And it made me think, like you thought, I'm sure, you need some boundaries. You need some structure. You need structure. Oh, you just spin off. And this, by the way, this is why welfare doesn't really work. Because if somebody said, like, look, you can maintain this. You can keep your sweatpants on. You never have to take the mucklucks off. We'll give you enough. You got enough for your bottle of wine.

15:14 Drew Well, first you go, no, no, I get bored. No, no, I couldn't do that.

15:17 Adam But after month number eight, that's it.

15:19 Drew You're stuck.

15:20 Adam You're just carved into the sofa, not going anywhere. And like 30 different forms of heat, got the fireplace going, got the heater going, got the hot blanket going, got the space here. Oh, yeah.

15:33 Drew No, let's get reconnected with our callers.

15:35 Adam No, Nicole, you're 22. And by the way, let me say this, too. You know, you want to know how you know you've arrived? When you get presents that you don't open until Christmas, even though you get them a week in advance from somebody you work with or something where somebody hands you a box at work. Hey, this is say, it's Friday. We're not going to see you for a couple of weeks. So enjoy. And they go open it and you go, no, I'll put it under the tree. And then you get around to it. That's how you have arrived, because there was a day when you would have tore through it using your teeth. And that means you're desperate. See I'm saying, I got it. You got that way.

16:10 Drew You have kids and you're required to follow ritual.

16:12 Adam Nicole. You're 22. Now, hold on. If you got kids and someone at work, they want they want to see stuff around the tree.

16:21 Drew They want everyone at the same day.

16:23 Adam If someone hands you a present at work, you could open it.

16:25 Drew You could open it. You could. But your kids like to see you do it with them and open it.

16:28 Adam The fact that you don't care anymore means you've arrived or you're waiting to die.

16:32 Drew You're right. Both.

16:33 Adam All right, Nicole. Sorry about Drew. Go ahead.

16:39 I'm with a guy now who hasn't had a girlfriend since he was in high school. And he's 26 now. He's going to be 27 on Tuesday. And I don't even like feel the need to want to have sex or anything.

16:58 Drew 14.

16:59 By whom?

17:01 Drew But by whom?

17:04 Adam This is the same as who? Whom is the lay person's way of saying who?

17:21 Drew The priest molested you? That's never been reported before. Did you report this? You've never reported it?

17:27 Adam No. And when you say, I don't want to take you back to that horrible episode, but molest, you mean had sex with you?

17:38 Drew 14 is usually more of like a rape.

17:40 Adam That's a rape.

17:42 Drew Right? That also usually means that you were sexually abused by somebody else when you were little. Really? Nothing happened?

17:53 Adam So before 14, nothing happened, no abuse of any kind?

17:58 Drew No neglect? You weren't foster child? That doesn't fit.

18:03 Adam Alright, doesn't fit, but we'll move forward anyway. So he had sex with you and that's it? That's the only time it happened?

18:11 No, it happened a few times.

18:14 Drew Did you think you were having a relationship with him?

18:16 No, no, not at all.

18:18 Drew How come you didn't say no? Not to mean that you could have, but I'm just wondering what was going through your mind?

18:24 Well, what happened was we had to, me and my sister, we had to live with him for a little bit because my dad was a compulsive gambler and he actually got us evicted from our house.

18:39 Drew Where was your mom?

18:42 My parents are still there. They've been married for 37 years.

18:46 Drew So your dad, was he an alcoholic also?

18:49 No, nobody was an alcoholic. My parents were normal, just my dad was a compulsive gambler.

18:56 Drew Well, usually other addictions go, not always, but usually other compulsions go along with the gambling, other addictions.

19:06 Adam Let's hold on a second. I forgot about this pace. You've got to dial it down. Like our metronome is like tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, and it's like tick, tick.

19:18 Drew Nicole, it's like she's 22. We should have some of these things figured out.

19:23 Adam Nicole, so you're with a guy, you're not that interested in him.

19:27 Drew You were sexually abused, you were at least, you were mishandled sexually at a very young age by somebody who you trusted. You need to get some help with all this.

19:34 Adam How about some therapy?

19:35 Drew It's going to be very difficult for you to be intimate with somebody. Of course, sex is going to be something you're going to associate with traumatic and unpleasant things. And the kinds of people you're going to be attracted to, in fact, interestingly enough, will tend to be people that sort of reenact some of this stuff. So maybe a little bit self-protective not to be involved with somebody more intimately than you are.

20:03 Adam I understand that. Don't dump him and get some therapy.

20:05 Drew That's not normal. Sexual attachment is an important part of a relationship. He's going to be very interested in that. And it's normal. Not to want anything to do with that is not normal.

20:15 Adam Keep him, get some therapy, and throw him a maintenance BJ every once in a while just to sort of keep his edge off just a little bit.

20:22 Drew Something very else happened, Nicole. Guaranteed. Something big time.

20:26 Adam Yes.

20:27 Drew These are gambling. Dad.

20:30 Adam Shane?

20:31 Yeah.

20:31 Adam You're 19.

20:32 Caller Yeah.

20:33 Adam What's up?

20:34 Caller I was talking to my mom the other night, and we were talking about the morning after pill, and she just did not believe me that it's not an abortion pill. I could never, I knew it, like I know you talk about this often.

20:50 Drew Can't wait to start out 2004 with this pill. It's going to be available. Finally, the FDA is going to get around this. We're all going to have it over the counter.

20:57 Caller Yeah, that's what I told her, and she said, oh, I don't know about that. And I said, listen to Loveline tomorrow night because I'm going to get on there, and I'm going to have Drew tell you why it's not an abortion pill.

21:07 Drew All right, so how would an abortion pill work? If it were an abortion pill, how would it work?

21:12 Caller Well, she was saying that, well, I told her that if the egg is already fertilized, then it's too late.

21:18 Drew That's right. It has a theoretical potential to interfere with that about the same as the usual way you take the birth control pill and about equal to several anti-inflammatory medications.

21:31 Adam Well, hold on. Let's just break this down for a second. An egg is dropped or released.

21:37 Drew Yes, from the ovary.

21:38 Adam Well, like once a month. Once a month. That's the ovulation period there, right?

21:44 Drew That's what that means.

21:44 Adam Usually a couple of weeks after the period. Usually.

21:47 Drew Yes. All right.

21:48 Adam So it's just one day. Now, there's a few days out of the month they can get pregnant or just one day.

21:54 Drew One day.

21:54 Adam One day.

21:55 Drew But the sperm.

21:55 Adam But the sperm can hang out for about three days.

21:57 Drew Exactly.

21:58 Adam All right. Then the sperm fertilizes that egg. If it comes across it that one day. Right. That it happens to be down there.

22:06 Drew Then it moves down the tube, takes a couple of days to get to the uterus and implant.

22:11 Adam Right.

22:11 Drew And there are certain medicines.

22:13 Adam Now, when you say down the tube, you mean up the tube, right? No. Now he's got the book out. That's always trouble. When you say down, are we moving toward her feet or toward her chin?

22:25 Drew Towards the middle. They move here.

22:27 Adam I said feet or chin. Here, here. Feet.

22:29 Drew Feet. Down. Right.

22:31 Adam Moves down.

22:31 Drew They go up and then down. They start here and they go down the tube.

22:34 Adam Well, how does the sperm get all the way up there?

22:36 Drew The sperm goes, here's where the sperm gets put in the vagina. It swims its way up to here. This is where the sperm meets the egg is up here.

22:42 Adam Up there. All right. Then it comes down, meets, goes down.

22:45 Drew And implants in the uterus here.

22:47 Adam That's the vagina.

22:48 Drew The vagina is down here. This rib thing.

22:50 Adam Yeah. What do I know? So here, look, here's the thing. This then, what does the morning after pill do?

22:58 Drew Prevents the egg from being released. That's its predominant mechanism of action. Just the way birth control pill taken every day works. Birth control you take every day can also interfere with the implantation, maybe a tiny bit.

23:11 Adam How would it interfere with implantation? The sperm is coming up the tube, the egg is coming down the tube.

23:17 Drew But the lining of the uterus is altered by these doses of hormones. And think about it, it's only double dose of your usual birth control pill. Does it make sense that the double dose would profoundly alter the implantation?

23:29 Adam Does it make sense that Noah would look up to the heavens and build an ark? You're dealing with retarded people here.

23:38 Drew We don't know that Shane's mom is retarded.

23:42 Adam Let's just play it safe and call her retarded.

23:44 Drew Shane, really the only argument against the morning after pill would be to argue that all substances that have even a theoretic potential of interfering with implantation should be eliminated. So that would be Celebrex, Vioxx, Bextra and all birth control pills because they all have a theoretical potential. But it's not RU486. It doesn't abort the fetus. It doesn't allow the egg to get into the sperm.

24:05 Adam By the way, I'm just a sort of a realist atheist here. There's just a huge difference between things that are microscopic, never coming to being, and things that are taking human form, not coming to me.

24:23 Drew That's your position. But you don't have to argue that even. You don't have to get into that discussion if it doesn't enter into this at all.

24:28 Adam Well, even if it does to me because the very basis of your argument is not all that strong because it's not really anything at this stage yet.

24:38 Drew But what you could say though, and I actually happened to adhere to this, is that what you know for sure is that it may not be human life at that moment, but it's going to be in nine months. It's definitely not going to be a lizard, not going to be a donkey, going to be a human being.

24:49 Adam Right, right.

24:49 Drew And you're interfering with that potential.

24:51 Adam But you can keep sort of extrapolating and get back to your sperm not being wasted and that kind of stuff if you really want to get nutty about it. And I just see things in shades of gray and this is as pale as it gets. I mean, it's like it's like we said, like nothing more tragic than one of your children getting cleaned out by a drunk driver on his graduation day from high school and slightly less tragic is dying at two years old of some sort of, you know, birth defect and slightly less is born stillborn or SIDS and then stillborn and then a spontaneous abortion, you know, goes all the way back. This is at the beginning of the tragedy train. This, this, you know, if you're trying to conceive a baby and you find out your wife's pregnant and the next week she aborts spontaneously, very sad, not nearly as bad as the kid drowning on the third birthday. It just isn't. I don't care what your God is. I don't care who you pray to. It's just not. All right. Thank you. Where are we, Drew?

25:56 Drew 9-6.

25:57 Adam Do we help Shane?

25:58 Drew Let's see if he has more questions.

26:00 Adam I like Shane too. Shane? All right. Did your mom hear that?

26:04 Caller Yeah. I think so.

26:05 Adam And I'd also like to say I drew.

26:07 Caller I want to...

26:07 Adam Yeah.

26:08 Caller Yeah. I read your book.

26:10 Drew Oh, God bless you.

26:10 Caller Yeah. I love it. It really helps me understand the addiction process.

26:14 Drew Thank you.

26:15 Caller And it was very interesting.

26:16 Drew Thank you. It's called Cracked for those of you that want to read something worthwhile. I think it's a good book.

26:20 Adam What's your mom's name, Shane? Let's give her a shout out.

26:23 Drew Christie. Christie.

26:25 Adam It's kind of a hot mom name. You tell her to start calling herself Chris.

26:29 Drew Wait a minute. You're 19. You at school or something?

26:32 Caller Yeah, I'm at college.

26:33 Drew University of Oregon?

26:34 Caller Yeah.

26:35 Drew These kids are smart at University of Oregon.

26:38 Adam All right. You go with Chris. Christie's a hot chick name.

26:43 Drew I just want to call her Chris. Yeah, Chris is more of a mom name.

26:45 Adam That's my mom's name.

26:49 Caller Yeah.

26:50 Adam Ouch. Oh my God. Yeah. No.

26:53 Drew You don't actually have to have a physical reaction when you speak your mom's name.

26:59 Adam No, I'm just thinking about her in a sexual way.

27:01 Drew Oh, that's good.

27:02 Adam It's not a hot name.

27:03 Drew No, I feel like it's much better.

27:03 Adam Although, yeah. But you know what? I think Christie may be sort of our generation hot chick name. And, you know, maybe your dad, it's like, oh, Gertrude is a hot name.

27:14 Drew Christie was, yeah, it was Christie Brinkley, Christie.

27:16 Adam Just Christie.

27:18 Drew And that was the later edge of that whole Christie wave.

27:22 Adam There's no super fat big calf chicks named Christie. It's just it's a hot, hot name. Mallory. You know, they should do, by the way, they when I'm in charge, this is how we'll do it. You want to call your kid Christie, the kids got to be hot.

27:37 Drew They got to live up to it.

27:37 Adam So we know.

27:38 Drew Yeah.

27:39 Adam So it's like, hey, buddy, I want to set you up with a chick. Well, what's her? What's her name? Gertrude. No, thanks. What's her name? Christie. Fine. Bring her on.

27:50 Drew Like you can't call it a monster truck. It was not a monster truck.

27:53 Adam You can't slap the Mercedes logo on a Volkswagen and call it a Mercedes. If you want to, you go ahead and call your kid Christie or maybe another hot name like Sam. So maybe, but they got to be hot.

28:04 Drew A new ritual. A new ritual. And at 13, we assign them their name.

28:09 Adam Call them what you want up until that point. And then at 13, I assess them and decide where they can keep it.

28:15 Drew So it's like, or what they might be assigned.

28:17 Adam Take a look at Christie, Christie, look at her, turn her around, take a thump on her. Uh, no, you're you're Tammy. That means you're going to be a prostitute. Sorry, sweetie. Next. Mallory.

28:34 Yeah.

28:35 Adam See, that's kind of a hot chick name, too. I would have had to look at you a couple of years ago. You're 15 now.

28:40 Caller Yeah.

28:41 Adam Well, I guess it's too late now. I'll let you keep the name. Are you cute? Well, again, I'll look into it. Go ahead.

28:50 All right.

28:52 Caller I'm a lesbian and my like me and this girl has been going out for a while, like three months ish. And we're really serious and everything. It's just like her mom is really homophobic and she like finally found out. So her mom won't even let us like see each other unless it's in school. So I just wanted to know if there's like anything like we could do to maybe like.

29:21 Drew Were you having sex with her?

29:22 Caller Yeah.

29:23 Adam How did her mom find out?

29:25 Caller Um, she overheard one of her conversations on the phone.

29:31 Drew Well, that would be sort of whether it was with a guy or a girl, that would be sort of a normal mom reaction.

29:36 Caller Yeah.

29:37 Adam And so when you say having sex, you have an oral sex with her?

29:40 Caller Yeah.

29:42 Adam And what's your deal? You ever molested?

29:46 Caller There you go.

29:49 Adam What happened?

29:55 Caller What?

29:55 Adam Ex-boyfriend?

29:57 Drew How old were you?

29:58 Caller I was 14 last year.

30:05 Drew And how old was he? 19?

30:06 Caller He was 16.

30:09 Drew So he raped you?

30:11 Adam Well, what happened before that?

30:12 Drew Before that, something happened.

30:13 Caller Before that, nothing really.

30:15 Drew Were you physically abused or something?

30:17 Caller Well, my mom used to hit me around a bunch.

30:21 Adam There. Well, listen, Mallory. Um, your girlfriend, her mom is concerned. Here's what's going on, Mallory. I'll just make it fast. Because it's the new year. And, um, one of my resolutions is to keep all these phone calls under 20 minutes. So here's what happened. Your dad's, uh, I don't know where. Your mom's, uh, physically abusive. Maybe an alcoholic. Usually when people smack their kid around, they've been drinking a little bit. No drinking? Worse than.

30:50 Drew No dad.

30:51 Adam No excuse. But where's your dad?

30:52 Caller Um, my dad lives in Hickory Hills. They got divorced when I was three.

30:57 Adam He's out in Hickory Hills.

30:58 Drew Because he was an alcoholic and abusing your mom?

31:00 Caller No, he wasn't abusing my mom.

31:02 Caller They just stopped getting along.

31:06 Adam Imagine if you're in Hickory Hills, you have to work at like a jerky farm or something. Or you have to make those logs, those long burning logs.

31:14 Drew I'm also just imagining somebody putting, you know, distilling something into a jug with three X's on it.

31:18 Caller Hickory Hills.

31:20 Adam Hickory Hills is in what state, Mallory?

31:23 Caller Illinois.

31:24 Adam All right. So you don't see your dad too much?

31:27 Caller Every other weekend, actually.

31:28 Adam Oh, well, that's not too bad. All right. So here's the thing. Your girlfriend's mom wants you guys to slow it down. You're 15.

31:37 Drew So do we.

31:37 Adam We sort of agree. Is your mom abusive to you anymore?

31:42 Caller No. We have our arguments like every other teenager and mom do.

31:46 Drew But she doesn't hit you?

31:48 Caller No. All right.

31:49 Adam Good. So listen, here's your job. Your job is to...

31:52 Drew Not to get pregnant.

31:53 Adam You can't get pregnant unless...

31:55 Drew She swings both ways, it seems.

31:56 Adam Take it easy with the guys. If you're with a guy, you've got to use protection.

32:00 Caller I'm not too fond of guys anymore.

32:03 Adam Good. Good. So be it. Why don't you get your grades up and you study hard and you go off to one of these lesbian colleges in San Francisco.

32:14 Drew For Massachusetts, be fair.

32:15 Adam For Massachusetts, yeah. All right. Look, I don't have any great... There's no big question here. I mean, what are you supposed to... Punch your mom in the stomach and smack her with a Birkenstock and then go down on her daughter? You're like, here's the thing, lesbian, whether the relationship is considered a sort of taboo relationship or not, when you're talking about young people that are engaging in sex and a parent intervening, we're not going to take your side.

32:42 Drew Not at 15.

32:43 Adam Not at 15. Right. All right. Hey, what good times. We'll take ourselves a quick break. We've got a little Germany, a little New Year's Germany or Florida coming up all after this.

32:54 Hello, this is your radio.

33:17 Adam Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. You know, I like to do, I'm enjoying my Christmas tree and sort of lamenting getting rid of it. Looks nice, smells good. It really works. And you know, I think with proper care, if you get a decent tree at the right time, get three weeks out of it.

33:44 Drew Well, you can buy them live, potted, year round. Right down the end of that living room.

33:51 Yeah.

33:52 Drew Problem is they dry out, they're hard to keep alive.

33:56 Adam I just mean, I want somebody just to bring me in a new tree every like 22 days.

34:02 Drew It's like flowers. Yeah, people do that.

34:06 Adam Well, a tree is, you know, 40 bucks, 50 bucks. But if you're really talking about once a month kind of thing, there's a little service. Guys got to schlep it up the stairs and wrap the thing around it.

34:17 Drew You got to put the ornaments on and off too. Someone's got to do that.

34:20 Adam It's going to run you, it's going to run you a hundred bucks a month to keep a good looking, seven foot noble or spruced, Chris, maybe fur Christmas tree decked out 24 seven, 12 months out of the year. I think it would be a better year. I think you'd be, I think you'd feel nice coming, you'd be like the dog days of August.

34:43 Drew But you'd never have a special time of year.

34:45 Adam Take it down.

34:46 Caller Oh, that's when it's special.

34:49 Adam It's very special during the last weeks of December, when you take the tree down. You know what I'm saying?

34:56 Drew Yeah.

34:57 Adam I'm saying it's the dog days of August. Remember how it was last year? It's like a 130 degrees at night. You come walking in through the door. It's like one of those Lipton iced tea commercial sweat all over your bags. You see that Christmas tree. Either you feel better or you're going to some sort of blind rage and kill your family. Or you just freak out and start packing the tree. All right. I'm toying with it now. I'm just saying I really, I like the smell of the thing.

35:24 Drew I'd expect to see it. I expect to go visit you in April, May, June and see the tree there.

35:30 Adam That pine is nice.

35:32 Drew Can you believe how hot it was when this land of ours just combusted?

35:36 Caller Yeah.

35:36 Drew It was like six weeks ago.

35:38 Adam I know. Ben?

35:39 Caller Hello?

35:40 Adam Ben, you have a Germany or Florida for us?

35:42 Caller What's going on guys? It's really cool to talk to you guys.

35:46 Adam Oh, it's great to be back. First, Germany or Florida, the new year, by the way, Ben?

35:50 Caller Yes, it is. That's really cool. And I just want to say Drew, I read your book.

35:54 Drew Thank you.

35:55 Caller Really great book.

35:56 Drew Thank you.

35:56 Caller I'm actually reading it from the library. Too poor to buy it, but it was really great. Read it.

36:02 Drew All I want is people to read it. I really don't care about the blog.

36:05 Adam Actually, there's something more flattering about the idea of somebody renting it from the library, by the way.

36:11 Caller Don't you think?

36:12 Drew In fact, the library has it. The library has it.

36:17 Caller It's a nice library. It's kind of poor, you know. They have a three decimal system, but it's just a guy named Dewey that prides your books.

36:26 Adam I haven't, I mean, I got the snare drum for you. Sorry, Ben.

36:31 Caller I got one, but you know.

36:32 Adam I haven't, hang on a second, I haven't thought about this for a while, but the Corollas, as I've mentioned on other occasions, were frequent library. They frequented the libraries and checked out records. Yeah, my dad, that's the records.

36:50 Drew I'm surprised they had it together and have to do that. I'm surprised they just didn't sit and listen to the records at the library.

36:55 Adam I don't think you can.

36:56 Drew It used to be the thing.

36:58 Adam Oh, really? Yeah, but dad would rent them, and it's like Herb Alpert's greatest hits, but it's 11 years old, and God knows what kind of condition. You know, please, it's all warped from sitting in the car. It's, you know, if you rent records, you're basically a retard.

37:16 Adam Comes in a brown wrapper, a big thing like a smiley record in a car that's frowning, and you know, in a sun that's smiling, saying, no, don't leave this in your car. It will warp. And by the way, do we need to pay for this so that 40-something-year-old losers can go down and get the latest Brazil 66 record? You know, here's my whole thing about it. It's like, you can't use food stamps to buy caviar and cigarettes. You shouldn't be able to go to the library and check out records. Like, look, if you can't get it together, we're not here to entertain. We're here to educate and provide some sort of nominal.

37:53 Drew Really, now they just provide internet access and that kind of thing.

37:56 Adam That's a renting records at the library. Isn't it a man of 43? Oh, like Christ. Ben.

38:05 Caller Adam, by the way, I've seen so many funny people and they're funny in spurts, like a cheetah. But you, funnyness just flows from you.

38:14 Adam Thank you.

38:15 Caller I don't understand it.

38:16 Drew Like a water buffalo.

38:19 Adam It hurts others. I was leaving for work tonight. My wife looked at me and goes, finally, you can start talking again. Like, who else makes fun of me?

38:30 Drew I mean, she was having to take the absorb, absorb all the energy that I normally take every night.

38:36 Adam Yes.

38:37 Drew I got to call your wife.

38:38 Caller You need to write a book and you need to call it mended.

38:40 Adam Thank you.

38:41 Drew Cracked mended.

38:41 Adam Cracked mended. All right, go ahead, Ben. Are you giving us a Germany or Florida or not?

38:45 Caller All right, I got your bone. This is a 59 year old man, lives by himself. He turned C now. He actually, they found out he fell down some stairs and broke his shoulder. And they put a brace and a bolt, an actual metal bolt in his shoulder. They left him there overnight after the surgery and they came back the next morning and he had bitten through his own shoulder and gotten the bolt out of him, out of himself.

39:15 Drew The screw down the bolt.

39:17 Caller Yeah, with his teeth. Then they couldn't find it and they x-rayed him and he had swallowed it.

39:25 Adam It was in his belly.

39:27 Drew Stories like that, those almost don't apply. I could regale you with bizarre medical stories and they occur in every state and every country.

39:35 Adam Now, if you break a bone badly, they'll put a bolt in it.

39:38 Drew Depending on where it is.

39:39 Adam Or put a screw in it. And it's essentially almost like a wood screw. They'll just tap it.

39:43 Drew Or it's big carpentry. Oh, yeah, don't, yeah, no, don't kid yourself.

39:47 Adam And here, oh, rods. Now, how's the pin work?

39:50 Caller That's what it is.

39:51 Drew That's a screw.

39:52 Adam It's a pin. Oh, I was supposed to get a pin on my shoulder once. I never did. Hi, ready to rock here? Let's talk to Stacey, who's 25. Stacey. Hey.

40:05 How are you guys doing tonight?

40:06 Adam Doing well.

40:07 Enjoy the show.

40:08 Adam Thanks.

40:09 Both of you and Drew, I do have your book. I have yet to read it.

40:11 Drew Thank you.

40:12 Wow. But I'm gonna start on it.

40:13 Drew This book did well over the holidays.

40:16 Well, that's the time for addiction. If nothing else.

40:19 Drew You're right.

40:20 I have, you know, just a quick comment. Here's the thing. I'm calling you from San Francisco, but I'm from Hawaii. And I don't know whether you know about it or not, but your show's been pulled. And it's been off the air for about close to two weeks.

40:31 Adam We know about it.

40:34 You know, it's horrible because let me tell you something. You have a huge fan base in Hawaii. You got a lot of young people listening to you. I even signed a petition at Starbucks. People really want the show back. But anytime, you know, the radio station owners are contacted, all they say is, well, you know, we've had outraged people calling up. Turns out it's just a handful of people. There was an article in the paper written by a biased, I don't know, she's a frustrated playwright that also writes for our Honolulu Advertiser. And she just bashed your show. And she printed a segment, a short exchange between the both of you that I haven't signed offensive. And I'm part Hawaiian. I'm part of the 20.

41:11 Adam Well, I had Drew called me, that's about a week and a half ago, maybe a week ago and said, did you hear what happened in Hawaii? Drew is such an over-exaggerator. I just told him to forget about it and leave me alone.

41:24 Drew And I did.

41:25 Adam And then you did. But then Drew's wife started yelling at me because she likes to go to Hawaii. She doesn't think we're gonna be able to get off the plane. Well, here's all-

41:36 Drew That's the way they led us to believe by the way. I was like, there was an angry mob at the radio station. The radio station really blew it out of proportion. But it's an interesting thing you bring up, which is that letter writers and complainers get unbelievable attention by people who own and program radio and television.

41:52 Adam Oh, by the way, forget about own television or radio, own airlines. Own anything. You own anything and somebody writes a letter, that's enough.

42:03 Drew Loveline, the TV show almost got canceled about nine months into its first run. This is like 1996, because somebody wrote a letter to Wendy's Hamburger. As Adam had said something he was offended about and the Wendy's Hamburger sales rep called MTV and the show was canceled temporarily as I recall.

42:20 Adam Well, and here's the thing that pisses me off about it is, I know this sounds, it's like we can't be measured, but what about the much larger group of people who get pleasure and aren't offended by the words of somebody.

42:36 Drew And who loses access to something they want because of a pain in the ass person.

42:42 Adam Because somebody who can stay away from the product, like not going to the store, not use the airline, not tune in to the radio, not tune in to the television, they have a choice. The other people, it is removed from them.

42:57 Drew They no longer have a choice.

42:58 Adam I find outrageous and it's always made me angry that the 1% is running around the 99% through the nose. And my answer to the 1% is F you. Go F yourself. And by the way, I wish everybody, and we've had this happen with Loveline multiple times. We had it happen with Scientology. We had it happen with GLAAD, the Gay and Lesbian whatever organization. My attitude is come blow me. All you idiots get in line and start sucking. I could give a rat's ass about your crappy organization. And by the way, it's only because of your crappy childhood that you got to lash out, whatever, get lost. And if everybody would just tell these people to get lost, we could have a much better society. We could watch what we wanted. We could eat peanuts on airplanes. We could do lots of very liberating activities. And so here's the thing. I said something. I don't remember what I say about anything on any given night. I try to do this radio show as if nobody is listening. And I'm not.

44:07 Drew No, no, it's just though you and I are talking. And the caller.

44:10 Adam It's a better way to do it because I say horrible things about my family, for instance. I say horrible things about friends, about people. I have to go see the following day. And I, you know.

44:22 Drew You don't leave anybody out.

44:23 Adam I don't leave anybody out.

44:24 Drew You get Jewish folk, you get Indians, you get everybody.

44:27 Adam I'll get everybody.

44:27 Drew You get Hawaiians, you get.

44:29 Adam Yeah.

44:29 Drew As soon as you find a group, you'll attack.

44:31 Adam Well, Hawaiians are stupid.

44:33 Drew Nope.

44:33 Adam There's just, there's no doubt about it.

44:35 Drew Look at Stacy, Stacy, you're Hawaiian. Stacy is not.

44:37 Adam Well, no, look. Look, everybody, people have their strengths and their weaknesses culturally. I'm just saying, I don't know any great inventions that have come from that. Look, we sat and talked to Don Ho for quite some time. He's the smartest guy who's ever left Hawaii. And he's dumb as a rock, this guy. And Don's like. Listen, Stacy, look, the people know how to party over there. They know how to put a pig in the ground. They don't like to work that much. They have huge calves. They have great looking calves over there.

45:11 Everything you said that got us kicked off, actually.

45:12 Adam This is everything that got us kicked off. But it's pretty, actually, some of it's pretty bad, Adam. All right, well, let me just say this.

45:17 Drew Here's the real problem.

45:18 Adam They're exquisitely articulate, intelligent people with very small calves.

45:22 Drew And they're good fishermen.

45:23 Adam And they're good fishermen. But you know what? I've been getting the angry emails sent to me.

45:27 Drew Max keeps sending them to me.

45:28 They're quite humorous.

45:30 Adam Okay, well, listen. I think the problem is, is I think, I think, and here's the thing. Oh, I think here's what the problem was. I think they took it, I think it became a racist thing. When I was treating Hawaii like I would treat West Virginia.

45:45 Drew Yes. Yeah.

45:47 Adam You know what I'm saying?

45:48 Drew Yes, you were basically saying people live in the sun.

45:51 Adam We make fun of Florida. We do nothing but make fun of Florida. I do nothing but make fun of Riverside. I do nothing but make fun of where are other good places that we never, what's the other one with the Bakersfield? But here's the thing. I think the problem is, is that's not, those people don't have a color or culture.

46:12 Drew Right, and Hawaiians have a race.

46:14 Adam Yeah, I wasn't talking about that.

46:16 Drew I'm just talking about Hawaiians.

46:17 In a rich culture.

46:19 Adam In a rich culture.

46:20 Drew And by the way, and then I take the brunt of it because the sort of general idea is, well Drew, why don't you rescue this? Why don't you, I'm not, I'm not, I can't stop everything that Adam says or what about everything you said.

46:31 You didn't do anything to, you know, it's just banter between the two of you and it was funny, you know?

46:35 Drew It wasn't, it wasn't so spirited. And listen, I love Hawaiians, I love Hawaii. I'm very set that we would get them.

46:42 Adam You don't need the Hawaiians, but you like the island.

46:43 Drew Drew, you're actually, you're agreeing with Adam.

46:46 Adam Yeah.

46:46 Drew That what? But why, let's say, hey, wait a second, wait a second. Really, what am I, I'm agreeing that when Adam says something racist, that that's me to start chiming in. I read the transcript.

46:56 Adam I don't remember you saying it, but I read the transcript.

46:57 Drew Of course, well, the transcript, listen. The fact is, you take things out of context. I know what's in my head. I'm not, I'm not going along with the racist. You never hear that kind of thing from me. I know that.

47:07 I was shocked.

47:07 Drew I just may be going, I may just be going, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh. Yeah. Right?

47:11 Yeah, they have you saying things, but I don't think you said them.

47:14 Drew Well, what, what it is just, you know, sometimes I'm just giving Adam something to work off of. And not really listening to what, what the intent is there or, or really thinking that somebody's going to take what he's saying seriously, which is a problem. I will try to pay attention to that much, much better.

47:26 Have you ever been pulled from a city and, you know, return? Is there any chance if you meet?

47:32 Adam Yeah, we've been pulled from cities and return.

47:36 Drew All the time. MacArthur, Yeah, that's happened, that's happened a lot.

47:39 Adam Sure. Yeah, this could happen in Hawaii. I could pick up on another city.

47:42 Drew It happened in San Francisco because of a letter writing campaign about five years ago.

47:46 Adam Oh, really?

47:47 Okay, sorry, something to think about. Yeah, cause you know what, just know that you guys, you're appreciated, seriously.

47:52 Drew Well, thanks, Stacey.

47:53 Adam Well, thanks. For both of you.

47:54 Drew This is how smart Stacey is. How can you call Hawaiians, how smart?

47:57 Adam She's not living in Hawaii.

47:58 Drew Yeah, but she's Hawaiian.

47:59 Adam She had a triple digit IQ, they tossed her right out of the place.

48:02 Drew I see, okay, now Stacey, now what if I had gone along with Adam when he just said that, right? Would I have been serious? You think I was serious if I had gone along with that? No, we're kidding around.

48:11 Yeah, exactly. And I think, you know what? The vast majority of people, they agree that it's, you know, it's just, you have a sense of humor and you're going with it. It's just that small handful of people who, you know, voice their opinions and-

48:21 Drew Of course.

48:22 Adam Here's the other thing too. If you read a transcript of almost anything, it-

48:29 Caller Leads horrible.

48:31 Adam I mean, worse than others. And I agree. If anybody pulled any kind of transcript from this show at any given point of this show at any given night of the week-

48:39 Drew It would sound bad.

48:40 Adam It would sound horrible.

48:41 I was gonna say this show in print is heinous, yes.

48:43 Drew It's heinous.

48:44 Adam It's heinous. I'm sure it is.

48:46 Well, I'll listen to you guys whenever I'm in the mainland and hopefully you guys will return. We'll get started on something.

48:52 Adam Thank you. What about Mahalo, for Christ's sake?

48:54 That's what I pointed out. I'm like, hey, he brings the language every day.

48:59 Adam That's right.

48:59 Caller One of the three words they have. One of the owners, like, screw that.

49:04 Adam Who cares? Here's the thing.

49:07 Drew You may need a new station.

49:08 Adam Look, I don't know how many cities we're on. I don't care. I don't know when we're polled. I don't know when we're added. I don't know about any of that stuff. I don't know who's listening. I just assume no one is. And like I said, including my family.

49:22 Drew Oh, that you must make that assumption. You couldn't go home at night otherwise.

49:25 Adam Call my dad a pussy 7,000 times on the radio. Maybe more. Yes?

49:31 Drew That's the nicest thing to say about him.

49:33 Adam Look, I have my opinions. They're coming out. That's it.

49:36 Drew Again, if you read a transcript of what I just said.

49:38 Adam Yes.

49:39 Drew That would sound horrible. All right. But I'm just giving you a little something back. Of course. I don't wish your dad ill. I don't have negative feelings about your dad.

49:46 Adam Hawaiians are geniuses. I think that's obvious.

49:49 Drew Stasius. With Stasius wine. Therefore all Hawaiians are geniuses.

49:51 Adam With needle thin calves. Listen, all the great scientists have come out of Hawaii. All the great inventions. Telephone, Hawaiian invention. Telegraph, Hawaii. Television, Hawaii. Automobile, airplane. All out of Hawaii. Where do you think penicillin came from?

50:08 Caller To the surfboard, come on.

50:12 Adam They got inventions. They got the super long shorts. Got the surfboard and they got the bong. I think the bong. I'm gonna check into that. All right, anyway. They're good at what they do over there. And maybe we can add letter writing campaigns to that short resume if things are good at now. We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back. Hey, everybody, Loveline, I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. All right, buddy boy, ready to get back to the moment? Yeah, all right. Did you have trouble during the break figuring out what day it was?

51:12 Drew Oh, yes. Well, I had a lot of activity, patient-wise, this week, and so I always had to go in, I always had to do stuff, but I would still get confused on weekend and holiday.

51:21 Adam And I got screwed up on New Year's, screwed everything up.

51:24 Drew Yeah, what day was that? Was that Friday? Was that Thursday?

51:27 Adam Yeah, it was weird, yeah. But good times, so. Hey, that's a good sign, by the way, when you're not sure, like I said, well, it's either a good sign or a horrible sign when you don't know what day it is. Either it means life couldn't be better, or you're in the tank, you're in the hole in prison, and you haven't seen daylight in like 27 days, or you have dementia or Alzheimer's or something like that.

51:56 Drew Or you're a late night radio host who had a couple days off. Speaking of in the tank, I've got a thing coming out on ABC primetime, like January 28th, something like that, where they follow me in the tank. They follow me through a course of treating a few patients, and it really came out nice. Very, very interesting, dramatic stuff.

52:13 Adam Well, when's that air?

52:14 Drew Like January 28th, something like that. That's the tentative date.

52:16 Caller Uh-huh, all right, well.

52:18 Drew Keep your eyes open for that.

52:19 Adam We'll keep our eyes open. What did you say that was on Dateline?

52:22 Drew Prime Time, ABC.

52:24 Adam I can't get enough of those shows. I watch Prime Time, I watch Dateline, I watch 2020, I just start yelling at the TV set.

52:32 Drew Why?

52:33 Adam Oh, they had this, the one I watched last night.

52:36 Drew I do too, by the way, because they don't see what's really going on.

52:39 Adam They never, they was asked, and they have to sort of, the reporters have to sort of say, play devil's advocate.

52:45 Drew That's why they have to be journalists, but I'm not a journalist, and we bring out what really is going on with these people.

52:49 Adam They had some, oh, it's a great story. This chick, I mean, next time you think your life sucks. This woman, she's from the South, she marries some guy, guys like captain of a football team, strapping, good looking, outgoing guy. Somewhere in his 30s, he starts like beating on her, and then as it becomes violent, and then he has trouble with his motor skills, and blah, blah, blah. Next thing you know, he has Huntington's disease.

53:17 Drew How did I know that?

53:17 Adam Well, because you're a doctor. What the hell? You tell me a door's dragging him. I'm gonna tell you that the jam's out of whack. You're a doctor, but that's pretty good. And I was dragging it on a little. I knew you'd jump in. Also, I wrote Huntington's down here. You don't think you saw it. Here's the point. Guy has Huntington's disease, a horrible disease. It's passed down. Okay, or 50-50 chance. Anyway, he starts beating the crap, and it turns out he's got this thing, and now his muscles are starting to fall apart, and his poor wife is having to take care of him. Before you know it, the guy's like in a diaper, and he can't speak, and they feed him through a tube, and he tells her he makes her promise that he'll never drop her off at a nursing home, but she has to break the promise at a certain point, because now her two sons start showing signs of this Huntington. And apparently, and you stop me if I'm wrong, it starts kicking in in the mid-20s or early 20s, and there's a test for it, although they didn't have a test for it back then. And then there's people don't want to know whether it's going to kick in or not. But then they drop their keys and they have to question themselves, what's going on? Is this horrible disease for which there's no cure that's just going to eat my body, just ravage the body. So at a certain point, she drops the, now she's taking care of the three, she puts the father into the home, the father dies. The poor two sons have seen the father just wither away from the big strapping lumberjack guy to the guys crapping himself and the hands tremors and the feeding tube. Now the sons are in their mid thirties, know that this is their fate.

54:55 Drew And they say, don't let that happen to me.

54:56 Adam They say, don't let that happen to me. Then they say, mom says, no, I'll take care of you. So now the mom's taking care of like the three of them. And this poor woman's like, the bags on her eyes size of duffel bags, this poor, you know, these women, they got that thousand yards there just seeing their husband and their two sons just being ravaged by a disease, you know, and they're taking care of them and lifting them out of bed and blah, blah, blah. Ventures got to take the two kids and put them in a thing. And the two kids are now bedridden now. And they're just using it. They got a catheter in and a feeding tube. And then two sons are like, you got to kill us. We want to go. We don't want to just lie here and then we can fed ping. And you know, you got one tube going in, you got another tube going out basically. So one day.

55:37 Drew And by the way, it's not just like they're all there. They're in and out. They can barely move around.

55:41 Adam Yeah, in and out. So eventually after some begging and then the kids are, they're all over the place. Yeah, they're in and out, but they try to kill themselves. It didn't work out. She comes in there with a gun, puts a bullet in both their heads. In the waiting room, she's a mess, obviously. And it's like, well, we got to prosecute. You know what I mean? And again, and I was just screaming at the set, slippery slope, slippery slope. One of these jackasses is going to say slippery slope. Because it's a slippery slope, Drew, because if you let her walk, then what's to stop a guy from gunning down his entire little league team and walking? We got to let him go.

56:20 Drew Of course. Because we've gone down that slippery slope.

56:23 Adam Because the mother-

56:24 Drew And next, Hitler. You've got somebody destroying lots of people.

56:27 Adam Can't do anything. Why? Because the one grieving mother put her sons with advanced- Insanely, by the way.

56:34 Drew With absolutely no motivation. Insanely. Bizarre.

56:37 Adam Yeah, got to let it go.

56:39 Drew Slippery slope.

56:40 Adam Yeah, so I'm screaming at the TV set, which is, look, that's the most loving act a mother could do.

56:46 Drew Of course.

56:47 Adam These two guys were just- And by the way, how goddamn selfish is it for you to decide? You know, it's all that, well, who's playing God? You can't play a- Talk about playing God!

56:57 Drew That's right.

56:57 Adam He had a guy who's lying in his own fecal matter for years while his body just deteriorates and he stares up at the ceiling.

57:04 Drew Now you're playing God by keeping him alive.

57:06 Caller Yes.

57:06 Adam Yes. Of course you are.

57:08 Drew Yes, that's right.

57:08 Adam I'm sure the guy's dying to die.

57:11 Caller And who's playing God?

57:12 Drew And would, in nature, in God's world, would die years before.

57:15 Adam Would be dead years ago.

57:16 Caller We've been eaten.

57:16 Drew That's right.

57:17 Adam All right, we gotta take a break. I don't know how many calls we got to, but I'm outraged with those posties and they're playing God. All right, we'll take a quick break. We'll be right back.

57:25 Caller All right, guys, here's the deal.

57:27 Caller Look in the hookup, call the Dateline.

57:29 Caller Stick a waste in time with the wrong person.

57:30 Call the Dateline.

57:31 Caller One call is all you need to make.

57:33 Call the Dateline.

57:34 Caller One, eight, seven, seven, eight, nine, date.

57:38 Caller You know what I'm saying, I'm dead?

57:40 Caller Adam and Dr. Drew will be right back on Loveline.

58:00 Adam Hey, everybody.

58:03 Caller Loveline.

58:04 Adam I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191.

58:09 Drew I bet those LSU Tigers. Does that put SC at number one?

58:17 Adam I don't know. I don't follow the college game as close as I should, but I'm gonna go with SC just because they're in our own backyard.

58:25 Drew You watched the game on New Year's. Crazy passing game.

58:31 Adam Yeah. Hey, good times. Know what show I was watching over the New Year's? Queer Eye.

58:38 Drew Oh yeah.

58:39 Adam I am enjoying it. And look.

58:42 Drew What is it about many of the guys, and this is something that I don't think actually hear discussed on Queer Eye, but of the five shows I've watched, two of the guys, two of the...

58:54 Adam Straight guys.

58:55 Drew Not straight.

58:56 Adam Could be gay.

58:57 Drew Definitely gay.

58:58 Adam Yeah.

58:59 Drew Just playing straight.

59:00 Adam I'm down with that.

59:01 Drew Yeah. All right. And or gonna remain straight, but if light had gone a slightly different direction, it wouldn't have been straight.

59:12 Adam Yeah. Yeah.

59:13 Caller What is that?

59:15 Adam It's the guys who were easily made over. They use product, certain way to put the product in your hair.

59:22 Drew It's not just that they're looking gay when they're done.

59:24 Caller Yeah.

59:25 Drew They're gay.

59:25 Adam They're gay before. Yeah. And I got this to say because my wife is like, oh, we got all these things they got to do. I realize the difference between me and the Queer Eye guys, I mean the guys that need help, I know what I need to do. I'm just not doing it.

59:40 Drew Of course not. Well, that's what straight guys do, that's the point.

59:43 Adam Yeah, but these guys are clueless. Yeah. I could cook up a nice meal, I could pluck my eyebrows, I could put a little product in my hair.

59:50 Drew You also design stuff, you do interior design stuff.

59:53 Adam What do I care? I got a sense of humor and I'm married. What do I need to do?

59:58 Drew This is somebody without a name, who is 20, who wants us, she's gonna describe herself and you're gonna name her. All right, Mystery Caller. Yes.

1:00:10 Caller Okay, well I just, earlier I heard your segment and you were talking about Gertrude being, you know, you heard it and it would just totally turn you off.

1:00:21 Mm-hmm.

1:00:22 Caller Well, I mean, come on, that's pretty low, right?

1:00:27 Adam Why, is your name Gertrude?

1:00:28 Caller Well, no, I'm just saying, what if, and here, I'll describe myself for you and just assume that my name is Gertrude.

1:00:37 Mm-hmm.

1:00:39 Caller And then how stupid would you feel after you heard how I look?

1:00:45 Adam Just let's just go ahead and just... What's going on with this show?

1:00:48 Caller Just go with it.

1:00:51 Adam All right, let's say I named you Gertrude. Go ahead, Gertrude.

1:00:54 Caller All right, here I go. I'm 5'3.

1:00:57 Mm-hmm.

1:00:58 Caller I'm 20.

1:00:59 Caller Mm-hmm.

1:01:00 Caller I've got mid-length hair.

1:01:02 Caller Mm-hmm.

1:01:03 Caller I go to cosmetology school. And it's kinda like a reddish brown with blonde streaks. I've got hazel eyes.

1:01:13 Adam Hazel, I like that. That's another old, ugly name. Hazel.

1:01:17 Caller Yeah, well, that's not my name.

1:01:18 Adam All right, yeah, go ahead. Hazel eyes.

1:01:20 Caller Okay, I wear a size, well, it varies. I wear like a size two, three pants.

1:01:27 Caller Mm-hmm.

1:01:29 Caller I run all the time.

1:01:30 Adam You run?

1:01:31 Caller Mm-hmm. That's right.

1:01:33 Caller 36C.

1:01:34 Adam Yeah, nice seat cup, Sally.

1:01:37 Drew You have any ethnicity?

1:01:39 Caller Mm-hmm.

1:01:40 Caller Oh, well, I'm white. I'm white.

1:01:43 Adam Always a plus.

1:01:44 Drew Okay, so we gotta name her. Okay, go ahead, Adam.

1:01:47 That's about it.

1:01:48 Drew All right, go ahead, Adam. What's her name?

1:01:50 Adam Well, so how stupid would I feel if I named her Gertrude?

1:01:55 Drew If her name actually were Gertrude.

1:01:56 Adam Because she's so smoking hot?

1:01:57 Drew Because she's so hot, yes. I know, just name her.

1:02:02 Adam All right, I'm gonna call her Stacey.

1:02:04 Drew I'm gonna call her Esther.

1:02:09 Adam That's a slap in the boobs.

1:02:11 Caller You're kind of terrible, aren't you?

1:02:13 Adam Yeah.

1:02:13 Drew What's your name?

1:02:16 Adam All right, what the hell was that? I'm the only one who's supposed to waste time on this show.

1:02:23 Drew You're right.

1:02:23 Adam I don't understand that. I said a half hour ago it would be nice if people were named according to hot.

1:02:32 Drew Yes.

1:02:32 Adam So we could sort it out.

1:02:34 Drew But how the, so the name would create an expectation of who they were.

1:02:38 Adam Yeah. Yeah. And I think we figured out that Christy was a, well, used to be a good name.

1:02:45 Drew Now everyone wants to know what her name is. Come on.

1:02:48 Adam It's gonna take 10 minutes. What's your, what's your name? Alicia.

1:02:54 Drew Oh, well that's, All right. It destroys everything.

1:02:58 Adam Yes.

1:02:58 Drew How dare you, Adam?

1:02:59 Adam Alicia's a push.

1:03:00 You know what names are hot though?

1:03:02 Adam Hmm.

1:03:03 Caller The names of guys.

1:03:04 Adam Yeah. That's why I said Sam.

1:03:06 Caller So like Bob is the hottest.

1:03:09 Adam Well, yeah, except for Bob is weird cause that's a lesbian butch.

1:03:13 Drew Bob is meant to, when somebody like wore a Bob haircut for a while and someone starts calling her Bob.

1:03:18 Adam But same as Bobby, Bobby's not bad. But Bobby is sometimes Barbara get called Bobby. Stevie is a hot. Stevie and Sam.

1:03:29 No, but Stevie Nicks is so not hot.

1:03:31 Adam Yeah. Well, I know you're bringing Stevie Nicks up as a negative example, but Stevie Nicks was smoking hot from age 13 to age 45. I mean, yeah, it's not a good example of an ugly person named Stevie, right? If you take a look at some of those Fleetwood Mac records from the early 70s and you see a 22 year old Stevie Nicks there, you're going, wow.

1:03:52 Caller Yeah, I don't remember that, sir.

1:03:54 Drew You're too young. He's too young. He would know better. You ever heard of Louis Armstrong?

1:04:01 Adam You could know what Stevie Nicks used to look like, couldn't you? I mean, I don't like to look up pictures of her from before, sir. Take my word for it. Nobody better looking at music except for the Phillips chick from the Mamas and the Papas who was crazy smoking hot too.

1:04:21 Drew Michelle Phillips.

1:04:22 Adam Yeah.

1:04:23 Drew But there was a 70s look too and they kind of had that.

1:04:26 Adam They had it. Super hot. All right, you ready?

1:04:29 Drew But there was sort of a, I don't know, there was a special. Oh, I don't know what that was.

1:04:38 Hello?

1:04:39 Adam You're 16?

1:04:40 Caller Yeah, hi.

1:04:41 Adam What's up?

1:04:43 Caller Yeah, I hooked up with my friend on New Year's at a party and then I hooked up with her again the day after. And she, I think she keeps, wants to keep on going and I don't know how to tell her that I don't really want to.

1:04:59 Adam All right, well don't hook up with her anymore.

1:05:01 Drew Just don't be available. Just give her a sort of a slow down sign.

1:05:05 Caller Well, we were good friends before.

1:05:07 Drew Well, you screwed that up.

1:05:09 Adam Nah, you might have screwed that up. You might get back to it. You're just gonna have to wait a little bit.

1:05:13 Caller All right, thanks.

1:05:15 Adam Yeah, just don't, you don't have to get in a weird sit down with her. Here's the thing about people. People are like, they're like raccoons sniffing around your garbage. They put the lid on tight. Don't throw any ribs away. And raccoons starts heading over to the neighbor's house eventually. They just move on. You don't have to go out there with a rock salt in your shotgun or turn the hose on. You just kind of, whatever they were sniffing around for.

1:05:39 Drew They don't find them.

1:05:40 Adam They don't find, they move on.

1:05:42 Drew Unless they're disturbed.

1:05:44 Adam Unless they're nutty raccoons. I've had a few of those. Even the nutty raccoons, they just hang out longer. But eventually they can't get in the can.

1:05:53 Drew Trouble, they hang around, they tip stuff over.

1:05:56 Adam Yes.

1:05:57 Drew But then they leave too.

1:05:58 Adam Yes.

1:05:59 Drew Provided you don't go out there and start throwing stuff at them because they grab it and eat it.

1:06:02 Adam Then they get weird. Yeah. Then you go out and start screaming at them and you throw a lemon at them and then they eat that and the next thing you know, it's weird again.

1:06:08 Caller Yeah.

1:06:10 Adam We're talking about people though, right? Huh? I got raccoons that live next to me. I hear raccoons getting it on or effing or fighting or something. They're crazy.

1:06:19 Caller What do they do?

1:06:20 Adam They make crazy noises.

1:06:23 Drew Yeah. We usually have one, like when a bunch of little ones come around. Yeah.

1:06:26 Adam That's always, that's always cool. Like when they, they, they, they, they follow them. That's the best thing in nature with the ducks or the raccoons or anything, the possums, whenever they're walking, the mommas walking, they got the three or four behind them. Then you clip one in your car. Samantha?

1:06:40 Caller You're 22?

1:06:43 Drew Wake up there.

1:06:45 Caller I'm just sort of curious as to, because I listen to you guys all the time and I'm starting now just to date this guy who told me that his father passed away when he was 13. He's 25 now and just sort of knowing, having that kind of like traumatic thing happen early in childhood, just sort of wondering from you guys, like what kind of characteristics should I sort of expect?

1:07:12 Adam He's all right.

1:07:13 Drew Probably nothing.

1:07:14 Adam He's fine.

1:07:14 Drew Probably nothing.

1:07:15 Adam His mom, well, it depends too.

1:07:17 Drew Depends on what the relationship was like with the dad.

1:07:19 Adam Well, also some of these guys passed away because after a little too much meth, the cops tried to restrain him with a nightstick and cut his windpipe off or something like that. If he's an out of control guy, how did he die?

1:07:36 Drew Air force. Yeah. Perfect.

1:07:39 Adam Plane crash, perfect.

1:07:40 Drew That's perfect. You can idealize him, can maintain a relationship that's perfect. It's better than if you actually had a father.

1:07:47 Adam Yeah, cause real dads are just disappointing.

1:07:50 Drew No, it's all right. If he'd been seven, it would have been different, but 13, he should be okay.

1:07:54 Adam It's how real dads do. They drive around old Volkswagens and rent her Balbert records from the library. That's what real dads do.

1:08:02 Caller I mean, he's like from the Midwest and he's very like, you know, takes like, he dotes over his mom and like really.

1:08:09 Adam That's a good man. It's a good man.

1:08:11 Drew Samantha, Samantha, you're looking for trouble here. You're looking for trouble. Why do you want this guy to be a problem? Hello? You really, is it hard for you to be close to somebody? It's hard for you to be doted over yourself?

1:08:23 Adam Yeah. Where's your dad? That's the real question. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

1:08:30 Caller All right.

1:08:32 Drew That's the issue here.

1:08:33 Adam Yeah. True. I asked this question to Jimmy a little bit earlier in the week, and we both arrived with the same number. What do you think the average age kids turn the corner on mushrooms, not the drugs, the vegetable, and start liking mushrooms? All kids hate mushrooms, but at a certain point-

1:08:53 Drew All have turned by this point?

1:08:55 Adam Yeah, the average, hold on, the average age, the kid, everyone hates mushrooms when they're kids.

1:09:01 Drew Yes.

1:09:02 Adam But then at a certain point, you start realizing pretty good in an omelet, pretty good on pizza for some God knows, God knows what the hell, taking little pieces of paper and tearing it up and dropping it on top of your- Yeah, you take a little piece of construction paper and drop it on top of your pizza, why it makes it so much better, but it is for some reason. What is the age you turn the corner? Now, I'm not saying-

1:09:23 Drew The average age or the age of what everyone has turned the corner?

1:09:25 Adam Come on, Drew, I don't know what the-

1:09:27 Drew Look- Because I think the average age would be about 16.

1:09:29 Adam The average age that you turn the corner, yeah, the average age, 16, Jimmy said 16, I said 16 too.

1:09:36 Drew I think by 19 everyone's turned the corner.

1:09:39 Adam Or if you haven't, you haven't, but Jimmy said 16.

1:09:43 Drew What is that? What is that?

1:09:45 Adam 16.

1:09:46 Drew And why is that funny?

1:09:47 Adam I don't know why it's funny. I've decided though it means we're all geniuses. I know it seems sort of self-serving. All right, 16, we have a doctor, we have a late night radio show host. We have a building entrepreneur, that's what I'm saying. We've all decided 16 years of age. And Jimmy and I should put a finer point on it. On your 16th birthday, maybe 16 in three months.

1:10:17 Drew And about a two and a half year variance on that. In other words, it kicks in no one before 13 and a half 14. Right. And then it's done by 18 and a half 19, everybody by then.

1:10:29 Adam Right. Let's just do a quick experiment. Desiree?

1:10:35 Drew 15. 15.

1:10:35 Adam 15.

1:10:36 Yes, I am.

1:10:37 Adam Do you like mushrooms?

1:10:39 Actually, I've always liked mushrooms.

1:10:41 Adam It's kind of... Always.

1:10:43 Drew How do you eat them?

1:10:45 Do you eat them raw? Anyway, raw, cooked on pizza.

1:10:50 Adam Always like them. Always like them. Nate? Nate, yeah. Nate, you're 16. Do you like mushrooms? You do? Yeah. And how long would you say you've liked the mushrooms?

1:11:09 Caller Maybe about three years.

1:11:11 Adam Three years. So you turned at maybe 13 or 14?

1:11:16 Caller Other than that.

1:11:17 Adam 14. All right.

1:11:17 Drew That's a variance, yeah.

1:11:18 Adam It's almost unfair to use the pizza though, because kids love pizza. Yeah, but that's the first.

1:11:24 Drew And that's because somebody ordered a pizza and it happened to come with mushrooms.

1:11:27 Adam So they ate it anyway. The question is, is Nate. Nate, this is Adam, and I want you to be honest with me. Totally honest, okay? If you were ordering a pizza alone two or three years ago, and you could only have one topping, would it have been mushrooms?

1:11:46 No.

1:11:49 Drew Fantastic.

1:11:51 Adam That's God probably telling us to quit having around.

1:11:53 Drew He said no.

1:11:55 Yeah.

1:11:56 Adam You're 26?

1:11:57 Caller Yeah.

1:11:58 Adam When did you start enjoying mushrooms?

1:12:01 Caller I've always liked them.

1:12:03 Drew No, that's not possible.

1:12:04 Adam You didn't like them when you were three.

1:12:06 Caller Well, probably not. I probably threw them at people or something.

1:12:09 Adam All right, Erin, what's your question?

1:12:12 Actually, can I say something totally off the subject?

1:12:15 Adam Off the mushroom subject?

1:12:17 Caller Well, off the subject entirely back to that girl that wanted you to name her.

1:12:21 Caller Funny you said Stacey because that's what I was thinking.

1:12:24 Adam Oh, really?

1:12:25 Yeah, I was thinking Stacey.

1:12:28 Adam Great minds, Erin.

1:12:30 Drew And yet you tried to screw us up on the mushroom thing.

1:12:32 Adam She really did. But go ahead, Erin.

1:12:36 Caller I just recently started to quit smoking.

1:12:40 Drew Cigarettes.

1:12:41 Adam Huh?

1:12:42 Drew Tobacco.

1:12:43 Caller Yes, I'll need tobacco. I don't do anything else. But I wanted to know, I'm on the nicotine patches, but I want to know, is that the best way to do it? Is wean yourself off slowly or just quit cold turkey? Because I am really having a tough time.

1:12:59 Drew The best way, from a scientific standpoint, the combination of treatments that has the most success is the Zyban or Welbutrin with nicotine replacement, either the gum or the patch.

1:13:10 Adam Well, the best way to quit smoking is to never start.

1:13:15 Drew Don't pick it up. Oh, don't start.

1:13:17 Caller Yes, right.

1:13:17 Adam I love that guy. That's my guy.

1:13:19 Drew That's the usual radio host.

1:13:20 Adam I love that good blowhard guy. Yeah, the only way to prevent the spread of, not to have, yeah, just not to smoke. I mean, that's the only, that's the easiest way.

1:13:31 Drew And that's the only sure way.

1:13:32 Adam Only sure way to quit smoking is to never start smoking. I see. Is that for everything? Same with heroin, right?

1:13:39 Drew Never start the heroin.

1:13:40 Adam Interesting. That's a great piece.

1:13:42 Drew Obesity, don't eat.

1:13:43 Adam I always want someone to go, hey, that's a wonderful piece of advice, you a-hole. Get the F out of here. And thanks for nothing, you retard. Yes, Erin. So that's the best way.

1:13:54 Caller Is to get on the well-prepared list.

1:13:56 Adam Is to never, no, is to never, no, the bet, no. What Drew's saying is number two. What I'm saying is the best way to quit is to never start.

1:14:05 Drew Well, being that I've already started it out.

1:14:08 Adam Okay, but there are other people who are interested in quitting who haven't started yet. And I'm telling them the best way for you people who haven't started smoking yet to quit is to not start. Or start and build a time machine, which is my plan.

1:14:26 Drew So listen, nicotine replacement is great whether it's gum or patch. It's a good way to go.

1:14:30 Adam It is a good way to go.

1:14:31 Drew It's a great way to go. And don't worry about coming off the path. If you stay on for a long period of time, it's not a big deal. If you have trouble coming off it, anything is better than inhaling that smoke. Well, or smokeless tobacco is also better.

1:14:43 Adam Yeah, now why, let me ask you this, Drew. Why is the nicotine gum okay, but the tobacco dip so bad?

1:14:52 Drew Because in the gum, it's just a plastic, what's I'm looking for, sort of a complex that holds pure nicotine. Tobacco has got all kinds of crap in it. The carcinogens are not the nicotine.

1:15:06 Adam Oh, really?

1:15:06 Drew Yeah, I've heard tars and all that crap.

1:15:09 Adam But in a smokeless form, are they even more pronounced that way? I mean-

1:15:16 Drew The carcinogens?

1:15:17 Adam Yeah.

1:15:18 Drew Yeah, mostly because it's a more concentrated version. People put those big, big doses into their mouth.

1:15:23 Adam What would you rather have your kids do? Would you rather have them, let's say age 20 to age 60, would you rather have them dip daily chewers or smoke half a pack a day?

1:15:40 Drew That's pretty close, pretty even.

1:15:45 Adam Or get in a gay porn.

1:15:47 Drew Smoke half a pack a day.

1:15:48 Adam Rather smoke half a pack a day than dip. Is it dip, is there refining out that there's more problems with dipping?

1:15:55 Drew It's that the cancers of the mouth and tongue and larynx are so devastating and so likely that it's almost where you can sort of do things to help prevent the heart disease and help the lungs and decrease the risks of cancer and stuff.

1:16:12 Adam All right, so you hope they do one or the other.

1:16:15 Drew That's what I'm getting from this.

1:16:18 Adam Dipping is good for the girl though. Kind of keeps guys away a little bit.

1:16:21 Drew All right, rot those teeth out.

1:16:23 Adam All right, let's keep moving forward here.

1:16:28 Caller Who do you want to talk to, Drew?

1:16:29 Adam Who's dating their neighbor over here?

1:16:31 Caller Male neighbor and love?

1:16:34 Drew Nate?

1:16:34 Adam Nate, the dude is dating. Nate? You're 16, you're dating your 13 year old male neighbor?

1:16:44 Drew Yes. You are?

1:16:48 Adam Well, what grade are you in, Nate?

1:16:53 Caller Mm-hmm, freshman, sophomore.

1:16:55 Adam That's 10th grade, Drew.

1:16:57 Drew Yeah, and he's in 8th grade, the boyfriend.

1:16:59 Caller Right.

1:17:00 Drew Right, the neighbor.

1:17:00 Caller Right.

1:17:02 Adam Are you both gay?

1:17:04 Drew Yeah, 13 and 16 is a little bit much.

1:17:07 Caller Well, I know, I've been told that by a number of people, but he-

1:17:13 Adam How many people, by the way? I mean, here's what I'm saying.

1:17:18 Drew How many people know about this?

1:17:19 Adam Yes.

1:17:21 Caller Well, all my friends, most of them are girls, not to mention my mom.

1:17:26 Drew Oh, your mom, wait a minute, your mom should be freaking out.

1:17:30 Caller Well, she's, my mom's always kind of been one of those kind of people who she doesn't necessarily agree with everything I do, but she's kind of told me that she knows she really can't stop me, so she just kind of lets me go anyway.

1:17:42 Adam That's a great man.

1:17:43 Drew That is not parenting.

1:17:46 Caller Well, depending on the thing, like she's not gonna go let me go rob a liquor store or some shit like that.

1:17:50 Drew Yeah, but theoretically, you may be harming this 13-year-old.

1:17:54 Adam Yeah, but he has a turd burglar. That's what they call it. He may not be robbing liquor stores, but he's burglaring turds. Hey, Nate.

1:18:03 Caller What's up?

1:18:05 Adam Are you having sex with the guy?

1:18:07 Caller Yes. You are?

1:18:08 Drew No, that's not okay. That's illegal. It's illegal.

1:18:11 Adam Please, we know.

1:18:12 Caller Okay, it's kind of hard to explain because I mean, I've run across a lot of 13-year-olds and middle school age kids and everything. He is, you'd have to know him. He's different.

1:18:23 Adam He's not, he's a lot more mature and He's built like a 14 and a half year old.

1:18:27 Drew You sound like all the 19-year-old males we talked to are dating 14-year-old girls. Oh, you gotta see this 14-year-old. She's so mature. He's still 13.

1:18:39 Adam And you're having anal sex with him?

1:18:43 Drew Really? We have to know that?

1:18:44 Adam Well, hold on a second.

1:18:46 Drew That is standing bogus.

1:18:47 Adam It's the lines.

1:18:48 Drew Now it goes bogus right there. Boom.

1:18:51 Adam Well, it's tough. Here's the thing. We don't like the idea of a 13 year old and a 16 year old having sex any way you slice it.

1:19:07 Drew Any gender combination.

1:19:09 Adam It's marginally more egregious when it's guy on guy.

1:19:11 Drew No. No.

1:19:12 Adam Let's face it.

1:19:13 Drew No.

1:19:13 Adam Let's face it.

1:19:14 Drew No.

1:19:15 Adam Well, I know you say no, but.

1:19:16 Drew No, no, I mean no. I mean, I just think that's a 13 year old being exploited. That's no good.

1:19:20 Adam Yeah, yeah, it's a matter of degree. I'm saying that whatever it is, we're putting a zero behind it. We're supersizing it when it's, when we're getting in the side right here.

1:19:31 Drew Yeah, but it's not in this bogus then.

1:19:33 Adam It's bogus.

1:19:34 Caller Yeah.

1:19:36 Adam Nate. We're going bogus on this call.

1:19:39 Caller You are?

1:19:42 Caller Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. All right.

1:19:46 Caller I don't see why, but okay.

1:19:49 Adam All right, Nate.

1:19:50 Drew Well, good luck. You didn't have a question. You're not taking our direction.

1:19:54 Adam You're just announcing. What's your question?

1:19:56 Drew What's the question? What's the question?

1:19:58 Caller Well, my initial question was that he's not very open about, just to me, we've been together almost a year. And-

1:20:04 Drew So since he was 12.

1:20:06 Caller Yeah. And I was 15 almost.

1:20:08 Adam He's 15.

1:20:10 Drew Well, what's that? You've got to know the 12 year old.

1:20:13 Adam All right, let him ask the question, Drew.

1:20:14 Caller My question is, because he's not open about being gay like I am. And we can't go out in dates, we can't go do certain things, because his parents don't know, and they start asking questions, and just a whole bunch of crap. And-

1:20:29 Drew So what's your question?

1:20:30 Caller My question is, as a result of this, us not really getting to be together, should I break up with him? You know-

1:20:38 Adam All right, well, hold on, hold on a second. That's not a question, it's stupid. And this is bogus, because you with your neighbor, who is a male, can hang out as much as you like, because his parents don't know that you guys are dating. So then it's just a couple of guys hanging out. I mean, you can go to the movies, you can go to the ballgame, you can go to the park, you can do whatever you want.

1:21:01 Caller I'm open about being gay, I'm not kidding. The neighborhood knows I am.

1:21:06 Drew You're gay.

1:21:08 Adam Okay, Drew, we understand. Okay, the neighborhood knows you're gay, then why don't his parents know?

1:21:14 Caller That's the thing, his parents do know, so that him being with me, that would begin to get his parents a little suspicious, don't you think?

1:21:23 Adam I do, but his parents have already seen you guys together quite a bit, haven't they?

1:21:27 Caller No, we have to, when we are together, we have to, I mean, we have to really hide what we do.

1:21:32 Drew How do you do it? What do you do to hide?

1:21:34 Adam How do you just penis through a knothole on the fence?

1:21:36 Drew How do you get together?

1:21:37 Caller I have to like meet him when he's coming home from school or when my mom's not home, he has to like sneak into my house or when his parents aren't home, I have to sneak through, you know, sneak into his house and, you know, we have to worry about his...

1:21:48 Adam Yeah, okay, but let me explain something, by the way. When you're 16 and you're banging a 13-year-old, that's all you do. You should be sneaking around. And by the way, all the sex you're having, like before 18, that's all there is is sneaking. You don't get to do it on the sofa during Passover. We have to sneak. Of course you have to sneak. You're banging an eighth grader. It's against the law. It's not good for him. And Nate had a certain cold calculation to him that frightened me just a little bit. So Nate, I'm glad you're comfortable with yourself. We don't condone the relationship.

1:22:23 Drew No, being comfortable with the gender is, our sexuality is very different than being a predator, which is what you are.

1:22:27 Adam And we'll be back. Okay, Friday's Love Line, I'm Adam Nitz, Dr. Drew, phone number, 1-800-LOVE-191. Alrighty, let's get to the phones and speak to Jennifer. Jennifer, 17. Jennifer? Hello. Okay, what's up?

1:23:17 Drew He had sex with somebody?

1:23:21 Caller I mean, they hung out. They talked a lot on the phone and stuff, which I think is the best.

1:23:26 Drew Which, by the way, from a woman's perspective, kind of worse.

1:23:29 Caller Yeah.

1:23:29 Caller Oh, yeah.

1:23:30 Drew Intimate with her.

1:23:31 Caller Oh, yeah.

1:23:33 Adam Yeah.

1:23:33 Drew I mean, the guys are so much more primitive. Guys are like, oh, he marked her. That's no good. Spoiled.

1:23:39 Adam Look, a guy could, if there was a guy who wanted to go see the movies that you don't want to see, spend time with, go to the spa with, have lunch with. With your girlfriend. If he never touched her, you have zero problem with it. As a matter of fact, great. Fantastic.

1:24:01 Drew But if he marked her with his man proteins, bad. Yep. Spoiled. Soiled. Done.

1:24:08 Caller Right.

1:24:10 Drew He tried to have sex with her.

1:24:11 Caller It didn't work.

1:24:12 Drew Of course he was feeling so guilty.

1:24:15 Adam How do you know it didn't work?

1:24:22 Drew And one of the good friends told you about this? Good friends into you. The good friends into Jennifer.

1:24:30 Caller Well, I don't really care. I mean, that's not what I'm...

1:24:33 Drew So she knows that.

1:24:35 Adam And by the way, you're 18 and this guy's 17? This is a bold move for, you know, I mean, when you're 17, you're dating an 18. It's a year, big deal. That's a big deal when you're 17 to 18.

1:24:47 Drew She just turned 18, they're both in the same grade, kind of thing.

1:24:49 Adam Yeah.

1:24:50 Drew Yeah.

1:24:51 Adam Still.

1:24:52 Drew So nobody knows she's 18.

1:24:59 Caller I love him, like, I do.

1:25:01 Adam Sure.

1:25:01 Caller I've never felt that way about anyone else, but like, I do everything for him. And there's like not a lot that I wouldn't do. And he says he wants to like, you know, get married in the future and all that stuff, which I kind of can't believe just to these parents. And like, they have that kind of a background also, but I can't get over the fact that he did that.

1:25:23 Drew Then cut them loose. You're only, you're 18. That's the way these relationships go. That's what they're supposed to do. They're supposed to end.

1:25:28 Adam Supposed to not get over things.

1:25:31 Caller It's fine.

1:25:31 Drew By the way, you staying with him would be not such a healthy thing.

1:25:35 Adam And by the way, actions are supposed to have consequences.

1:25:38 Caller Right.

1:25:39 Adam You step out, you get busted.

1:25:40 Drew That's it.

1:25:41 Adam That's it.

1:25:42 Drew There will be other guys, Jennifer. You're 17, 18. Marriage is 10 years away. Don't, you're just trying to figure out what you want.

1:25:49 Adam Oh, and these proclamations of, I'll never, never felt like this before.

1:25:53 Drew Oh, no. Of course you've not. You've only been 18, never before.

1:25:56 Adam You were like carpooling to junior high two years ago. Of course you never felt this way before. By the way, you shouldn't be able to use that until you're 25, at least 25. That would be one of my mandates when I'm in charge. You cannot start throwing around things like, oh, old school and stuff like that when you're 19. No. And you can't say like, I've never felt this way before. I've never loved this way before. You gotta be at least 26. I think 28 would be better. All right.

1:26:28 Caller That's like a 25.

1:26:30 Adam Let's make it 25. Here's the thing. This is gonna spoil it. Drew, how many times have you had this in a relationship where something came up commonly referred to as a deal breaker? Like this something you couldn't get past. You weren't gonna get past it. Whatever it was, you found out she was with one of your friends or she cheated or you cheated.

1:26:53 Drew It was just something.

1:26:54 Adam It was just something. Whatever it is. And you know you're not gonna let her get it. You can't get past it, but you try. You stick with it.

1:27:04 Drew I know.

1:27:05 Adam All that does is shove it back seven months. And it never works. Fine. Move on. And by the way, we'll cheat again, this guy.

1:27:15 Drew Absolutely.

1:27:16 Adam He's just getting started. Yeah. 17.

1:27:18 Drew Cheaters cheat. This guy's got a long road ahead.

1:27:22 Adam 17 year old guys who, by the way, when you're 17 and there's an 18 year old piece of ass who's letting you have regular sex with her.

1:27:30 Drew And she's hot and she will quote, do anything for him.

1:27:33 Adam That's, you hang onto that with both hands.

1:27:36 Drew You should be like starry. I'm like, oh my God.

1:27:39 Drew And this guy's cheating. Come on.

1:27:41 Adam Jennifer. Were you having sex with him?

1:27:47 Drew Bad news.

1:27:48 Adam I don't like it. Yeah, and you got that little girl voice too. It always scares me. Okay. Find a new guy. Why are you doing everything for this guy?

1:28:00 Caller I think I have a problem with like, I get it patched really easily. Like I've had one boyfriend before, like that's a serious boyfriend. And like I would do anything for him too. It's just like, when I'm committed, I'm committed.

1:28:15 Caller I'm not going to go and-

1:28:17 Drew This is the- That's your rationalization about it. You don't have good boundaries and you get sucked into things and you can't get out.

1:28:23 Caller Right.

1:28:24 Adam And let's do this, by the way. Here's what we should all do, except for me, in 2004. Let's stop taking negative stereo, not stereotypes, but negative personal attributes and spinning them into something strong. I can't stand these people. Hey, listen, I speak my mind. And if you can't handle the truth, well, then you shouldn't be around me. Now, a lot of people are put off by me because I tell it like it is. Now, they're put off because you're an asshole. That's why they don't like being around you. Not because you speak your mind. Hey, I say it like it is and a lot of people can't handle the truth.

1:28:58 Drew I love euphemism. I have a strong personality. Or he's got anger. He's got a temper on him. Got a temper.

1:29:05 Adam That's a passionate man. Yeah. Now, I've heard this. Somehow, in the last five years, it's become in vogue for people to describe themselves as truthful people who aren't going, you know, I'm not going to lie to you. I'm a truthful people.

1:29:21 Drew People can't handle the truth, and I speak the truth.

1:29:22 Adam And a lot of people can't handle that. So it's like, I'm so much more evolved than everybody else.

1:29:26 Drew Well, and everybody lies except me.

1:29:28 Adam And everyone lies except for me. And a lot of people aren't mature enough to handle.

1:29:32 Drew They're used to the truth. No one has ever spoken the truth to them.

1:29:34 Adam You're an asshole.

1:29:35 Drew You're blowhard, a-hole. No, no, you're hostile and you're aggressive. You're hostile, you're aggressive.

1:29:39 Adam You're an a-hole, you're blowhard, you're pompous, and nobody wants to deal with you because you're an a-hole. Not because you're truthful, a-holes. And by the way, your explanation of you being truthful is just one more rung in your blowhard, a-hole ladder, by the way. Yes, this very description is why people hate you. Jack-offs. Hey, and if you can't handle, oh, shut up. Stop giving the explanations about why people hate you. And look, if people don't like you, they don't like you because of you. And I'm tired of this thing, too, where there's this sort of this thought that, well, we just pick a certain amount of people we don't want to be around, and then a certain amount of people we idolize, and that's how it is. It's so unfair to those. No, everybody gets judged. If you're a good person, if we like you, fine, we like you. And if not, it's your fault. There you go. That's how it works, everybody. At least people like to sit around and question. I do the work of 20 employees, yet I get fired from every, no. Now, who is that? Start looking in the mirror. You don't get invited to the party and someone else got invited to the party. It's because we like the other person better than you. Yes. Why is the question? And it's not because we're bad people. It's because they put something forth or you put something forth that was negative. Just start owning it. That's all I'm saying. You got all weekend to sit home and think about it. Let's talk to... We didn't invite you apart because you're so truthful. Desiree? You're 15?

1:31:18 Caller Yep.

1:31:18 Caller What's up?

1:31:22 Caller I'm a... Well, I cut, you know? Yeah. I've been doing that for about two months now.

1:31:29 Drew As a way of trying, yeah. You're not trying to harm yourself. You're just trying to sort of release feelings.

1:31:35 Caller Well, actually, it's hard. I've had, out of Dr. Drew, you may know what this is. Church mania.

1:31:43 Drew Trichotelomania.

1:31:45 Caller No, it's church mania, like trich, where you pull out your hair.

1:31:49 Drew That's trichotelomania.

1:31:51 Adam That's synagogue.

1:31:52 Drew Trichotelomania. Trichotelomania.

1:31:54 Adam Synagogue mania, where I didn't want to pick up those bad tips.

1:31:56 Caller Anyway, I've had that for like, forever, basically, since I was really small.

1:32:01 Adam Yeah. How come when you said church mania, and Drew said trichotelomania, or whatever he said, and you stuck to your church one.

1:32:11 Drew It's trichotelomania.

1:32:15 Caller Anyways, I've had that since I was small. And I was thinking, I was wondering if like, cutting was sort of trying to replace that.

1:32:25 Drew Yeah. It's another kind of a behavior. People, the amazing thing about humans is they want to make sense of all of our behaviors. And a lot of our behaviors, a lot of our thoughts, do not follow any sort of a rational sort of structure. And the brain is basically trying to manage overwhelming states, trying to often dissociate. It's usually trauma survivors, Desiree, that have these behaviors. Were you neglected or abused or sexually abused or something growing up?

1:32:53 Caller Kinda, but I had it before that.

1:32:56 Drew I understand, but well, again, you were in the situation.

1:32:59 Adam You were in a family that was planning on abusing you.

1:33:02 Drew Yeah, be that as it may. The point is, the cutting particularly is a sign of trauma survivorship. And it's often associated with something called dissociation. It's a disconnect of certain emotional centers of the brain from other parts. And the body only has very primitive means to try to manage these feelings that you don't have access to consciously or intellectually. The wiring's just not there right now. And so people will do drugs and people will cut and people will act out sexually. They're just ways to try to feel better. And they don't work, but it is a sign of how seriously disturbed things are and it needs treatment.

1:33:33 Adam All right. Well, a little therapy for you, baby doll. And you heard it from Dr. Drew. We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back.

1:33:41 Caller Thank you for calling Loveline.

1:33:43 Your call will be answered in the order.

1:33:44 Caller It seems interesting. Call 1-800-LOVE-191.

1:34:04 Adam Hey, yo, it's Loveline, I'm Adam Lentz, the good doctor, Dr. Drew. Good to be back there, kiddies. Oh yeah. All right, you ready to go here?

1:34:15 Drew Yeah.

1:34:16 Adam Talk to Sydney. Sydney's a hot name, so you're gonna have to check and see if she was hot when I'm in charge. Yeah, that's a hot name. Sydney?

1:34:24 Caller Hello?

1:34:26 Adam You're 24?

1:34:27 Caller Yeah.

1:34:28 Adam That's a hot name.

1:34:30 Caller Thank you.

1:34:31 Adam Are you good looking?

1:34:33 Caller Of course.

1:34:34 Adam And like I said, there's a certain-

1:34:35 Drew You're fat.

1:34:36 Adam Drew, please. There's a certain responsibility in a hot name because like if you hear you're being set up with Sydney or your study partner, Sydney, or your tutor's gonna be Sydney, this chick named Sydney, you think, and then she's a behemoth, it's like, Christ, you know what I'm saying? It hits harder than if her name is-

1:34:56 Drew Well, you're disappointed.

1:34:57 Adam Yeah, if her name is Sue, you don't go in with any, and Drew's wife's name is Susan, but I'm just saying, if you have a sort of neutral name, like even Jennifer or Sue or something, you're not going with expectations, could go good, could be a disaster. You get Sydney, you go in with high hopes, yes? Yeah, it's true.

1:35:20 Drew So what's up, Sydney?

1:35:22 Caller Well, my question is, I've been dating this guy for about two or three months, and I have a six-year-old, and he has a two or three-month-old, and we've, we talk quite a bit and stuff, but he's always at his ex-girlfriend's house, always. And I'm not quite sure of the situation there, because I don't really talk to him about it or anything, but-

1:35:52 Drew I thought you talk all the time. How do you avoid something like, that's real important in his life? What do you talk about?

1:35:59 Caller I don't want to pry.

1:36:01 Drew You don't want to pry because you're afraid of what you're going to find.

1:36:03 Adam What do you mean, always at the ex-girlfriend's house?

1:36:05 Drew It may not be the ex-girlfriend. Maybe his live-in girlfriend, and Sydney's something on the side. Well, they talk all the time, but this is again that we're so honest, we talk constantly.

1:36:15 Adam Does she have a hot name?

1:36:17 Drew This is the elephant, this is the elephant in your living room situation, Sydney. There's a huge-

1:36:22 Caller I think it's set up.

1:36:24 Drew That's hot.

1:36:24 Adam It's a little hot. That's a brunette name, it's not a blonde name, by the way, that Jennifer. Brunette?

1:36:31 Caller I've never seen her.

1:36:33 Drew But this is a huge-

1:36:33 Adam You've never seen a picture of her?

1:36:35 Caller Uh-uh.

1:36:35 Adam You have no idea what she looks like?

1:36:38 Drew How about the child? Have you seen the child?

1:36:42 Caller Yeah.

1:36:43 Drew Do you talk about-

1:36:44 Caller She has blonde hair.

1:36:45 Drew But no, no, no. But do you talk about the child? But you don't talk about the mother?

1:36:51 Caller Mm-mm. Mm-mm.

1:36:56 Drew Yeah, it's unspoken because you will, or you're refusing to bring this major issue up. This is the, this is the, this is everything in your relationship.

1:37:03 Adam Well, it's the child's mother. I mean, what if the guy says, well, look, I'm picking up the kid, I'm dropping off the kid, we're the kid's parents.

1:37:08 Drew He lives there.

1:37:09 Adam Oh, he lives there?

1:37:10 Drew He's always there.

1:37:12 Adam Well, I said always there.

1:37:14 Drew I think it's cause he lives there.

1:37:15 Adam Does he live there?

1:37:16 Drew Do you know where he lives, Sydney? Don't know where he lives. But we have an honest that we talk all the time, Adam. Perfectly honest.

1:37:26 Adam You don't know where your boyfriend lives. How long have you been going out with this guy?

1:37:29 Caller Almost four months.

1:37:33 Drew How often do you see him?

1:37:34 Adam You're not boyfriend and girlfriend with him. I mean, you think you are, but he doesn't. He doesn't think you're that.

1:37:39 Drew How often do you see him?

1:37:44 Caller Wow, hold on a second.

1:37:46 Drew The motor's running slow.

1:37:47 Adam Is that her phone line?

1:37:47 Drew No, that's her.

1:37:48 Adam That's just like, how often you see him? 1-1,000, 2-1,000, 3-1,000, and then, hmm? The hmm is supposed to be what you're doing to buy time.

1:37:59 Drew That's right.

1:38:00 Caller Oh, boy.

1:38:03 Adam Sydney, let's go. Let's pick it up now.

1:38:06 Caller How often do you see him?

1:38:10 Adam Okay, and he spends the night?

1:38:15 Drew Never.

1:38:15 Caller He's never stayed at my house.

1:38:17 Drew Because he goes home to his girlfriend.

1:38:18 Adam If he's never stayed at your house, why do we get the six second count before you answer? Please pick it up, would you, darling? Or maybe I didn't bring that up 20 seconds ago. Okay, you're angry or whatever. Look, don't screw your kid up. That's your number one goal. Number two is, is you don't want to ask this guy questions because you don't want the answers.

1:38:40 Drew You know the answers. He's not, he's not your...

1:38:43 Caller He's never met her.

1:38:48 Drew That's good, because he's not going to be around very long.

1:38:50 Adam How can he be over six days a week or six nights a week and never met your daughter?

1:38:55 Caller We usually go out and have breakfast or lunch or dinner and stuff like that.

1:39:01 Adam Okay. And why is it you don't know where the guy lives? Don't you think that's a little suspicious? Haven't you ever asked to go to his house?

1:39:10 Caller No.

1:39:10 Drew Why don't you ask that question next and you'll find out what's going on with this guy. And by the way, what does he do for a living that he can go for breakfast, lunch and dinner? It would not be there at night.

1:39:19 Adam Ask me what he does for a living.

1:39:20 Drew Let's ask her. Sidney, what does he do for a living? I don't know.

1:39:34 Adam I'm done with Sidney. I feel sorry for her.

1:39:36 Drew I feel sorry for her kid.

1:39:38 Adam I feel sorry, I feel more sorry for her kid. But look, I don't know. I don't know what you want from us. And listen, I hate to sound like a colossal prick, but really, you can't have the good three count before you answer no to something, especially on the yes or no. These aren't complex mathematical equations we're asking. The guy's never spent the night, he's never spent the night. You don't have to do a good long five count before you answer no. Let me tell you a neutral name that would, but does nothing for you. Like, okay, you're in college and you find out the name of your study partner, you're going to meet in the library and you're single and you know it's a female, Carol. Carol's like, They don't even name kids Carol anymore. I'm going in with no, I'm going with the word I'm looking for, but I'm going with no expectations whatsoever.

1:40:30 Drew Carol now.

1:40:30 Adam Christie, oh, I may have to pound one out.

1:40:33 Drew Carolyn.

1:40:35 Adam Nothing, nothing. But you get to Christie, you got to pound one out.

1:40:39 Drew But Carolina.

1:40:40 Adam Carolina, you get a little excited about, yeah. Lindsay. Ooh, yeah, now Lindsay, you're going with some expectations as well. That's a hot name.

1:40:55 Caller First off, I want to say, Adam, I basically idolize you, so.

1:40:58 Drew Yeah, basically, that's a good girl.

1:41:01 Caller So my question is, well, I went in the hot tub with a guy, but like, I don't know, I don't know him that well, but whatever. And basically, I was expecting just to like hang out in the hot tub, but he ended up kind of getting a little like rough with me. No, I don't know, he started like touching my chest and all of that. And I mean, I didn't want to like, I'm going to start seeing him a lot just because he's friends with some of my friends and.

1:41:35 Drew Don't be afraid to hurt his feelings. The answer is, hey, cut it out. If you don't want somebody to touch you, no, cut it out. Listen.

1:41:40 Adam Were you able to stop him?

1:41:43 Caller Not really, no.

1:41:46 Caller She got that voice.

1:41:47 Caller Like my first question was, did I get pregnant from that? Because like, guys, when they get boners, they like pre-ejaculate and that holds them.

1:41:58 Drew Was his penis inside you?

1:42:00 Caller No.

1:42:01 Drew Only if his penis is inside you.

1:42:02 Adam He squeezed your boob, you want to?

1:42:05 Drew She's worried that something's floating around the top.

1:42:06 Adam God knows what's in that tub, but it's dead.

1:42:08 Drew Don't be alone with this guy ever.

1:42:10 Caller Her name's Miriam though.

1:42:12 Adam Don't, don't.

1:42:13 Drew Oh, this is Miriam?

1:42:14 Caller Oh, who are you talking to?

1:42:15 Adam Yeah, don't ever be alone with this guy.

1:42:18 Caller Okay.

1:42:19 Drew All right.

1:42:20 Adam I don't know why Anderson said she was Miriam when it says Lindsay on there.

1:42:23 Drew It's a fake caller girl. It's a fake caller, yeah.

1:42:26 Adam Oh, is that Miriam, the fake caller girl? Really, that's good. And Anderson picked that up.

1:42:31 Drew Yeah, I didn't hear that, didn't hear it. But did she was she transformed herself, Miriam?

1:42:35 Adam Breathy and crying thing was a little bit her thing. Let me just talk to this guy. Good call, Anderson. But can you find out off the earth that was her?

1:42:43 Drew No, it was her for sure.

1:42:44 Adam Oh, it was her for sure. You just know by the name? I mean, know by the tone?

1:42:48 Caller Yes, because I do best ofs and I hear way too much of the show.

1:42:51 Caller Like every two hours you hear, I hear four.

1:42:53 Adam Oh, I don't hear the two that I'm here for, by the way.

1:42:56 Caller I may kill myself.

1:42:57 Adam Please, please.

1:42:59 Drew Ashley.

1:43:00 Adam Ashley? Yeah? You're 21 and you've gained 15 pounds after starting on the patch, a birth control patch?

1:43:07 Caller Yeah, I've been there ever.

1:43:09 Drew Okay, it's the estrogen component. You may want to have one with a little weaker estrogen, more progesterone.

1:43:14 Caller Yeah, when I got on it, they told me that the patch is basically just, it's like all the same. There's no different levels of it.

1:43:22 Drew On the patch. Yeah, you may have to go back to the pill.

1:43:25 Adam She's on the air for 26 seconds on hold for how long?

1:43:27 Drew 107 minutes, 14 seconds.

1:43:29 Adam All right, but at least we got to her. We'll be back.

1:43:33 Caller Love Live, Love Learn, with Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew.

1:43:49 Adam Well, there you go, little loveline for you.

1:43:52 Drew Good times.

1:43:52 Adam Back, feeling good. Angie Everhart will be in here tomorrow night. I think she's doing the Celebrity Mall. Yeah. Looking good as usual. And I did that Toyota Grand Prix with her too.

1:44:01 Drew Oh, that's right.

1:44:02 Adam Got that to discuss. Then the Jeremy McGrath, the greatest motocross rider that ever lived, is coming in the next day. And I'm gonna get some tickets for him because at the Super Bowl Motocross coming up, Drew. Oh yes.

1:44:15 Drew Oh yeah.

1:44:15 Adam That is good times. So until next time, it's Adam Carolla for Dr. Drew saying mahalo.

1:44:20 Caller Mahalo.

1:44:24 Caller This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors or this station. The producer for Loveline is Annie Gold. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Sunday, January 4, 2004