Episode 1000582823034

1:07 Adam Dr. Drew, Board Certified Physician, Addiction Medicine Specialist, phone number, 1-800-LLVE-191. Dear, dear friend, Tori Amos, back in studio tonight.

1:18 Tori Amos Hello, Dr. Drew.

1:20 Adam Tori and I have something that sort of transcends the hour we spend together every couple of years or so.

1:25 Drew What is that something?

1:26 Adam I don't know what that is, but it's something. Well, I feel it. I think Tori does.

1:31 Tori Amos Of course I feel it, Adam.

1:33 Drew First, she greeted me tonight and she said, do not leave me alone this time. Dare you leave me alone with that man in the studio?

1:41 Adam No, we have, you know, we have a thing, which is to the uninitiated, we seem like opposites, but we're really sort of kindred spirits, you see? And I think, I think when we were in the same room together, that's sort of, it melds. It melds, yes.

1:57 Tori Amos When is your sign? What's your sign?

1:59 Adam I'm a Gemini.

2:00 Tori Amos Are you now?

2:01 Adam Yeah.

2:02 Tori Amos What's your sign?

2:04 Adam I'm going to guess your sign. Sagittarius.

2:07 Tori Amos Sagittarius rising.

2:09 Adam I mean rising, yeah.

2:12 Tori Amos Not far.

2:13 Adam Well, what's the difference between Sagittarius and Sagittarius rising?

2:16 Tori Amos No, I'm a Leo with Sagittarius rising.

2:19 Adam See, I felt the rise.

2:20 Tori Amos Yeah.

2:21 Adam I felt the rise. That was in my sweatpants. I felt the rise and I didn't get the Leo.

2:27 Tori Amos Unacceptable.

2:27 Adam The Leo part, but Tori has herself a CD. Oh, we got lots of stuff to talk about with Tori. We'll talk about the new best of CD. Is it officially a best of? It has some new songs on it.

2:41 Tori Amos No, no, it's a best of.

2:42 Adam All right, it's called Tales of a Librarian. That is out. We'll hear cuts off of that. Also, organization we've been talking about since Tori started coming on this show, Rain, which is a website for rape and abuse and incest and all that stuff. And there's a national website and phone numbers and all that stuff we can give out because it's good that there's something national. I don't know if there's any other national stuff. Sometimes we talk to people and we have some numbers, but they're not quite right. But they could sort of lead you down the path to a right number. But this is the one that's for this. And it's www.rain.org, by the way. And that's Rain, R-A-I-N-N. And the phone number, it's a 1-800-800-656-HOPE. That's 800-656-HOPE. Write it down. Put it on your refrigerator. You never know. And two years since you've been here last time.

3:45 Tori Amos Really? It doesn't seem that long, but two years.

3:49 Adam What's going on? Where do you live?

3:52 Tori Amos I live in England. Yes, I do, in Cornwall, North Cornwall.

3:57 Adam Drew lived in Cornhole for a while, which is out of Chichester.

4:02 Drew Very briefly.

4:03 Adam Very briefly. He said it was uncomfortable.

4:05 Drew And you said I wasn't going there, by the way.

4:06 Adam That's right. Were you there last time you were here? Were we talking about this?

4:12 Tori Amos Oh, yes, but I was on tour last time. And this time I got off tour in September. We were out for a long, long time. And I had my little girl out with me. She's a road dog at three. So she's happy to be back at school.

4:29 Adam And where'd you grow up?

4:32 Tori Amos I was born in North Carolina. I grew up in the DC area.

4:35 Drew It was funny when you were talking before the show started. I swear I heard an accent, English accent.

4:40 Tori Amos Oh dear.

4:41 Drew I thought, what is that?

4:43 Adam Why not?

4:44 Drew Hang around black guys next to you.

4:46 Adam Oh man! High-fiving and all that. You got to convert. You got to do that. You're going to stand out. So it's full time. This is your home. You live in England. But when you're on tour as much as you're on tour, does it matter as much where you live? Or maybe that's a stupid question. But you know what I'm saying? If you're out traveling, it's like you're back and forth the United States all the time, aren't you?

5:13 Tori Amos Yeah, we're here a lot. But I think what it is is we had to make a choice where we were going to bring up Tash. And my husband's British. And I'm a better traveler than he is.

5:24 Adam Right. And do you hang out with Madonna over there?

5:27 Tori Amos I don't hang out with many famous people.

5:30 Adam You don't have any famous friends?

5:32 Drew Just you, Adam.

5:36 Adam Speaking of England, Tori's going to be on the Sharon Osborne show tomorrow, so you can catch her. Are you going to be playing?

5:42 Tori Amos I think so, yes.

5:43 Drew Are you filming it tomorrow?

5:44 Tori Amos Filming it tomorrow.

5:45 Drew Are they going to air it tomorrow?

5:46 Tori Amos That's a really good question.

5:47 Drew Usually they don't. They air it like a couple weeks later. I've done her show a couple of times. There's one of the shows I did ended up airing like repeatedly, but weeks after I did it.

5:59 Adam Really? That seems weird to me.

6:02 Drew It's a syndicated show. Like, listen, how many shows of Loveline do we do when do they show up on television?

6:07 Adam Some still haven't made it air yet. All right, true.

6:10 Drew Good point.

6:11 Adam Let's help the kids, because I know that's what I'm all about. Drew, you're here for the paycheck, but Tori's here to help the kids. We'll hear something off the new CD. Talk to Ariel. You're 21? What's up?

6:29 Caller Hey, okay, I was wondering, when I was 19, I got pregnant. I had been on orthotrycycline for two years, and I never missed the pill, and just, all of a sudden, I stopped getting my period, and I went and took a test, and I was pregnant, and I was wanting to know if maybe my weight might have had something to do with it.

6:48 Drew Interesting. You should bring that up. I was thinking about this a couple of days ago. So I do not make enough of this, that when there are failures of the birth control pill, particularly the lower dose estrogen pills, it's sometimes due to weight.

7:02 Adam Weight gain? Weight loss?

7:04 Drew The heavier women need a higher dose of estrogen.

7:06 Adam Oh, like takes more beer to get them drunk.

7:09 Drew Precisely. That's exactly what my thought process was.

7:11 Adam You don't have to get them juice stuff, because they put out, but I'm just saying.

7:14 Drew If you did.

7:15 Adam In theory. No, no.

7:18 Caller I'm not like completely obese, but I'm, I'm, I'm hefty, you know, I'm 5'5, and I weighed about 165 when I got pregnant, so I'm not fat, but not chunky, super-fat.

7:30 Drew It is, it is, again, just the point is that you have a larger volume to be sort of contended with the, with the pharmacology.

7:38 Adam Makes sense.

7:38 Drew And yeah, people need heart, it's, it is actually a more serious concern, you might think, and I'm not really sure that the gynecological literature is specific on how to deal with it, other than to avoid the lower dose estrogen pills. In other words, it's concerned that the patch might not work. What?

7:51 Caller Right now I'm on, right now I'm on orthoevera. I decided to go on the patch and try that. Yeah. Is the patch like, is it a little bit better concentrated or is there something that you could recommend that would be for, you know, a woman that's my size?

8:06 Drew I can't, I can tell you what to avoid, but I can't tell you what necessarily to take because.

8:11 Adam Would you take more? Would you take a pill and a half?

8:14 Drew No, no, you just take it, they just avoid the lower dose pills, but the tricyclic pills are things that theoretically you should be able to take. So there you failed that. So it's really hard to know. Just bring it up with your doctor and you may have to try a few things.

8:25 Adam Wouldn't want to go with two patches, otherwise you couldn't see, right?

8:28 Drew I'll tell you what I would do. I would be really careful not to allow any mid-cycle bleeding. I think that's probably how I'd monitor it.

8:35 Caller Well, I mean, like, I got married to the guy that I had the child with. We've been together since we were sophomores in high school. And so we've been kind of doubling up now to try to, you know...

8:49 Drew Do you have the pill or are you using it?

8:51 No, I'm using the pill.

8:52 Adam You don't want any other kids.

8:54 Drew Yeah, that's actually what's recommended if you want to be very careful. I like this, Ariel.

8:59 Adam How's everything else going?

9:01 Caller Everything is great. You know, my daughter, she's beautiful.

9:04 Adam That's great. But, you know, all moms think that.

9:08 Caller I mean, yeah, I mean, it was a blessing, really. I mean, I can't exactly look at it as a curse.

9:14 Adam Don't tell her about the pill failing until she's at least third grade. Because the kids can't. Should you ever tell your kid anything like that?

9:24 Drew Not when they're a child.

9:26 Adam Wait till they're adults and have a nice laugh about it. Is it still weird if you hear it at 30, you think?

9:31 Drew Oh, yeah. But you can have it. It's no big deal. I mean, it won't affect your development at that point because you're developing. They'll give you tons of reasons to act out your resentments on your parents, though. Give you good fuel.

9:41 Adam Tori, you wanted your daughter, right?

9:43 Tori Amos Yes, we did.

9:44 Adam But still you could say you didn't if she acts up. You know what I'm saying?

9:48 Drew Well.

9:49 Adam You got that in your hip pocket. I'm saying don't use it, but keep it. If you need it. Keep it if you need it. Yeah. It's like that single shot. Daringer, you're keeping your boot. You know what I mean? Just in case. All right, you get to do it times three. Drew's got the triplets. Tori, have you seen the picture of the kids? Beautiful.

10:10 Drew Do you have pictures?

10:11 Adam Get the pictures.

10:11 Tori Amos I have a picture of someone.

10:13 Adam You guys do a picture swap here.

10:14 Tori Amos Okay.

10:15 Drew Adam, you notice that Chris is back tonight?

10:18 Adam No, I didn't. Engineer Chris is back. He's over his eye infection. Yeah.

10:22 Drew Here's mine.

10:23 Adam Yeah, you all right?

10:24 Drew Those are a couple years old.

10:26 Adam Got a rusty load in the eye. Yeah, it's bad times. Yeah, it's why you gotta use protection if you're gonna be doing that with guys. All right, so Chris is back. God bless him. Well, now he's our good luck charm. So we're gonna have a great show tonight. Tori's here, Chris is here. This couldn't get better. Junior, Junior, Junior, Junior, Junior Producer bought some donuts for Tori. And-

10:51 Tori Amos I ate them.

10:53 Adam And Drew started to go for them and she yelled at him.

10:58 Drew And then, oh my goodness, she's so cute. She didn't even-

11:01 Adam Drew, how many times you gotta punch the mic at night?

11:04 Tori Amos That's ballet class.

11:04 Adam Oh my gosh, just 28 kids.

11:06 Tori Amos Adam, no, no, no, no, that's ballet class.

11:08 Adam Which one is she, the one in the middle?

11:09 Drew With the light on her.

11:10 Adam With the cap? Wait, oh, she's not wearing a cap, that's just a light?

11:13 Tori Amos No, and that's a little flower in her little bun.

11:17 Adam She's gorgeous. That's nice.

11:19 Tori Amos She's learning ballet.

11:21 Adam Don't get too crazy with the ballet, it gives them an eating disorder.

11:24 Tori Amos Oh, I've heard that.

11:25 Adam Yeah, that's what we've learned from this show. Little bit's good, then you move on, you keep it moving. Oh, that's nice. You don't want them getting too good at any one thing.

11:34 Tori Amos Oh, is that so?

11:35 Adam Yeah, jack of all trades, master of none, that's what you want. Because once they master one, they get an eating disorder.

11:40 Tori Amos No, not piano.

11:43 Adam Oh, piano, yeah. Yeah, no, piano, you don't get an eating disorder. Why is that, Drew?

11:47 Tori Amos Because you sit on your butt all day.

11:49 Adam Let's see.

11:50 Drew No, you could with piano, but those are limited to Asian.

11:52 Adam You need a mom that was yelling at you to practice a lot.

11:55 Caller Right?

11:55 Drew Asian kids get that.

11:56 Adam Yeah, they get an eating disorder?

11:58 Tori Amos Really? Do they, from playing the piano?

12:01 Caller Really?

12:02 Adam Well, no, the domineering moms.

12:04 Drew Abusive domineering.

12:06 Adam Right, abusive domineering moms. It turns the boys gay and it gives the chicks the eating disorder, so just, not that you're that mom, I'm just saying. No, no, I'm saying you're not.

12:17 Tori Amos That's what I'm saying. No, I don't think so. These are those gold dust moments.

12:26 Adam Is she you, baby?

12:27 Drew Is she taking piano?

12:29 Tori Amos This is different, well, I tried to find a Suzuki method.

12:34 Drew Just one second, Tori. Adam, Piano and Ballet.

12:37 Tori Amos Okay, wait, no, no, no, no, she asked to do ballet and tap, and then she's- And then she wanted to learn the piano. Okay, so, guess what? No piano teaching until there, I don't know. Six. Yeah.

12:54 Adam Oh, really, six?

12:55 Drew Five sometimes.

12:56 Tori Amos Yeah.

12:59 Adam Why, why, just, is it, is it not gonna- They can't sit, that's Drew playing, by the way. They can't sit still at three, or won't take, or-

13:07 Tori Amos Oh, rubbish, I was playing piano two and a half.

13:10 Adam Really?

13:11 Drew Yeah. So was Mozart, so.

13:12 Tori Amos I loved, no, but it was just, it was my friend.

13:15 Drew Right.

13:15 Tori Amos It was my, the piano was my friend.

13:17 Drew Did you teach yourself at that age?

13:18 Tori Amos Yes, mm-hmm.

13:19 Drew And it was sort of a Suzuki quality to how you taught yourself?

13:22 Tori Amos No, I just think I could hear anything and play it back.

13:26 Adam What's Suzuki? Is that a type of teaching?

13:29 Drew It's a certain kind of, yeah, method.

13:31 Adam Is it the kind you would use for a child?

13:33 Tori Amos The Peabody Conservatory, where I went, felt that for the little, little, little kids, that it was good, cause the parents also have, need to be involved, and it's a sharing thing.

13:44 Drew It's a very strange technique. It's Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star, a billion different rhythms and things.

13:50 Tori Amos Well, anyway, there wasn't it. It wasn't available, so I got a hat, because Tash really wanted to learn to play, and wanted to have lessons every week.

14:02 Caller Really?

14:02 Tori Amos So I put on a hat and became Mrs. Paris.

14:05 Caller You did a whole crazy character?

14:07 Tori Amos I don't know the Suzuki Method, so I don't teach it. I teach how to be a butterfly at the piano. We do animals on the keys.

14:16 Adam Does your husband have musical ability?

14:20 Tori Amos Yes. He plays drums and guitar. Just because he was playing at four. But he's an engineer, sound engineer.

14:28 Caller I'm so jealous.

14:30 Drew People with talent?

14:31 Adam Yeah. Yeah.

14:32 Tori Amos Yeah, but we can't do anything else.

14:35 Drew You don't need to.

14:36 Adam But playing the piano is nothing better than a party, and you sidling up to the piano at some point, and cranking a little something out. This is nothing better. Just once, I'd like to do that.

14:49 Tori Amos Is that Drew playing too?

14:54 Adam He does. Anderson, do you have any...

14:59 Drew What's this?

15:13 Adam He dreamt of being an opera singer.

15:16 Drew This is it.

15:31 It's a very popular show.

15:32 Dr. Drew in the Hizzy.

15:34 Adam All right, you got to get cable over there in England. Kyle.

15:38 Yeah.

15:39 Adam We'd like to Ben Stein, Tori Amos, if he's going to kill himself. What's up, Kyle?

15:44 Well, I'm just wondering like, me and my girlfriend are wondering, like when a girl gets wet, like what is that? Like what is that secretion? That's like, is it like anything to do with what's wondering?

15:56 Adam Something to do with fairies, right, Tori?

15:58 Drew Why don't you got no play, player? No, come on. There's many, many glands down there producing lots of different kinds of secretions. Skeen glands, Bartholomew glands, and they all are putting out for lubrication.

16:09 Adam What's the difference between the Skeen glands and the Bartholomew glands?

16:11 Drew There's glands in the wall of the vagina. There's a lot of opportunity for secreting stuff. Your body secretes things in lots of different locations without you sort of being aware of it. Your stomach is always secreting stuff. Your bowel is secreting stuff.

16:23 Adam Well, how do you, the definition of secrete is have a fluid enter itself. I mean, if the stomach means that things are bleeding through the walls.

16:33 Drew No, I mean, yeah, it means things are fluid is coming into the outside world. Secretion into the outside world.

16:40 And that'd be like a normal amount. Cause I mean, I think it, for her it's like a lot, but I don't know if it's like, like is there like a normal amount? Like just some girls like they don't have any at all.

16:49 Adam Oh yeah. Yeah, it's like humping an ashtray.

16:53 Drew There can be variable, variable production, yes. Lots of people, lots of people. Yeah, it's all I ever get. Birth control pills can affect the amount and so on.

17:01 Adam Yeah, it's like a sock filled with kitty litter. That's what it feels like. Yeah, see, you should be liking it.

17:08 Drew Tori just barfed.

17:09 Adam No, Tori knows what I'm talking about. She's been there. You've been on the road as much as Tori and you've seen as much as Tori. You know what I'm saying?

17:21 By the way, Adam, I want to say-

17:22 Adam Plus, you're in Arizona, so-

17:24 Caller Makes it worse. Yeah. Well, I don't know, but I've actually met you at Jimmy's wedding.

17:29 Adam You did?

17:29 Caller Yeah, I was there with my aunt because Jimmy married my aunt's friend.

17:34 Adam Wait a minute. Jimmy got married like-

17:36 Caller It was a while ago.

17:39 Adam No, let me tell you how old you were when Jimmy got married. No, no. You were more like three. Wow. Yeah, so I didn't meet you at Jimmy's wedding.

17:48 Tori Amos Who's Jimmy?

17:49 Adam Jimmy is, you know Ben Stein?

17:52 Drew Yeah, he works with him.

17:54 Adam Jimmy's probably listening now, but Jimmy is my partner or one of my partners and we did The Man Show on Comedy Central. You ask your nephew about The Man Show. And now Jimmy is hosting his own late night show on ABC. Jimmy Kimmel Live. And he used to host Win Ben Stein's Money, the aforementioned Win Ben Stein's. Yeah.

18:27 Drew Tori is so happy to be back in Southern California.

18:29 Adam She is so happy to be here.

18:30 Tori Amos I am happy to be here. I love it here.

18:34 Drew I'm remembering the last conversations, the last two years ago, were about, we talked an awful lot about the world situation and about children and rearing children in this kind of world and. Remember that?

18:45 Adam Because your daughter was one at the time, I think. And you're probably worried. I mean, I don't know, one, it feels like you're gonna create their world for them or something. And then I guess they become people at some point.

18:59 Drew I just remember Tori just, she got that you do not eff with my children thing.

19:03 Adam Yeah, I like that.

19:05 Drew Don't, if you're threatening them.

19:07 Adam Yeah, the lioness, yeah. Wish my mom had a little of that. Maybe we should hear songs.

19:12 Drew Yeah, you can cry.

19:14 Caller Let's just hear a song.

19:15 Adam Yeah, nothing's gonna cheer you up like a Tori Amos song. He loves Tori too. Everybody loves Tori Amos. And let me say this too. I don't know where Tori's playing, but if you had a chance to see her, go see her. I mean, this is a musician. You know, I mean, we have a lot of-

19:38 Drew And a performer.

19:38 Adam And a performer. We have a lot of acts on this show. Fun guys, good guys. Got a couple of good songs, but they are not what you call artists. You know what I'm saying? They're kids who hooked on to something. Tori Amos is an artist. You go see her, you get a whole new appreciation for music. All right, let's hear something. This is off the new CD, Tales of a Librarian, and it's called Precious Things. Yep, little Tori Amos for you off the new CD Tales of the Librarian, which is a best-of. It's a two CD set, very handsome, solid. And you know, you may have some of these songs already. You probably do, but you don't have this.

24:54 Drew Yeah, this is nice.

24:55 Adam Yeah, it's a very attractive package, much like Tori is. We have to take ourselves a little break. We'll come back. We got more questions for Tori and questions for you.

25:07 Drew And Florida and Germany.

25:08 Adam Oh, and another round of Florida or Germany after this.

25:12 Hello, this is your radio.

25:22 Adam Hey, buddy, it's Loveline and Adam. That's Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Tori Amos is our guest tonight. The new CD is Tales of a Librarian. Tori also has started an organization called Reign. And if you want the information about that organization, you can go to www.reignwith2nz.org or call 1-800-656-HOPE. That's 1-800-656-HOPE. All right. Now Tori, I know you're a big fan of the show. Well.

25:58 Drew She just can't listen to it because she's in England.

26:00 Tori Amos No, you know I love this show.

26:02 Adam Yeah. She's a fan. One unlikely couple, me and Tori.

26:06 Drew I thought you were.

26:07 Adam What?

26:08 Drew Sympathetic, old but different.

26:09 Adam We're kindred, sympathicated spirits. But to the outside world, and we don't care about the outside world. That's one of the things we have. You know what I'm saying? Let them talk.

26:20 Tori Amos Yeah.

26:20 Adam That's what I say.

26:21 Tori Amos We never cared about the outside world.

26:23 Adam And that's what happens. You see, if you start listening, you know, everyone whispering in your ear, it can screw up a relationship. But we know what we have. We don't even want you here right now, Drew, quite honestly.

26:34 Drew Last time you got rid of me, if you recall.

26:36 Adam Oh, did I get rid of you?

26:37 Drew I was in Minnesota.

26:38 Adam Oh, that's right. It was just me and Tori. Yeah, I was wondering, because my style feels a little cramped tonight, and I was wondering what that was.

26:44 Drew As I told you, this time she cramped. She said, do not leave the studio.

26:47 Adam Oh, because she was scared, scared. She's a woman of great passion.

26:53 Drew Scared what might happen. Yeah.

26:55 Adam She doesn't trust herself.

26:56 Drew I see those boundaries.

26:57 Adam Yeah. Yeah. She's an impulsive artist. She's a reckless, impulsive artist. And she, when she sees something, she likes it. So we got this game here, Tori. It's called Germany or Florida. All of Bizarre Evil comes from either Germany or Florida. We figured this out on the Jimmy Kimmel Show.

27:21 Drew And the Macabre.

27:22 Adam So people call in, they give us the bizarre story and we guess either Germany or Florida. Darren?

27:31 Hello?

27:32 Adam You're 17?

27:33 Yeah, I'm 17. Hey Adam, you're hilarious. Dr. Drew, you're a good man. All right, Germany or Florida. A 34 year old auto worker was rushed to the emergency ward this weekend when his genitals started to suffer from necroxy. The unidentified man had a strange fetish for an extreme form of genital chastity which stopped the blood flow to his testicles and penis for more than four days. The married father of the four claimed he enjoyed the constriction caused by the pipe fitting rings used in valves at the assembly plant where he worked. And his wife had no idea about his strange liking. He is quoted as saying he would leave them on for days at a time and usually had no problem in removing them. Unable to get the device off, he would, ah, where is it?

28:17 Adam We are on a roll.

28:18 Drew I'm embarrassed. Yeah.

28:20 All right.

28:21 Drew He couldn't get a saw around.

28:22 Adam It's in Germany or Florida? This is not fun.

28:25 Drew You think Germany? Oh yeah.

28:27 Adam Wow.

28:27 Drew Really?

28:27 Adam Tori said Germany, Drew, Florida. We've never had this kind of decision in Germany or Florida.

28:32 Drew Not a lot of auto manufacturing in Florida.

28:34 Adam Well, was it auto manufacturing or just manufacturing?

28:37 Tori Amos Auto.

28:37 Drew He said auto.

28:38 Adam I did say auto. Yeah.

28:40 Drew There's a lot of precision parts in Germany all over the place.

28:43 Adam Yeah. They do a lot of waffle hunts.

28:45 Drew A lot of weird sexual stuff in Germany.

28:47 Adam Yeah.

28:47 Tori Amos Why is that? I don't know. Tell me why.

28:49 Drew It's got to be some residual war drama.

28:51 Tori Amos All that leader hosem.

28:53 Adam Yeah. You know what it is, is whenever you take societies that are sort of buttoned down, they explode at some point. And it always goes, it always takes a turn for the sick or the bizarre. It's like the Japanese, too much bowing, too many ties worn, too much reverence for your parents equals, I got to get some bear pancreas in me so I can get a boner, and then I'm going to eat sashimi off a virgin. See what it turns into? It goes weird. Whereas places like Rio de Janeiro, I think they're just sort of moderately sexual all the time, but it doesn't seem to take the perverse turn, you know what I mean? You don't hear anyone from Rio out out slaughtering rhinos to get some horn so they can make an aphrodisiac. They don't do anything, they just hump each other. They're so busy humping, they're so tired from banging all day, they don't have time for all the weird, bizarre, ritualistic stuff. So I think Germany suffers from the sort of button down stuff.

30:02 Drew It's such a white trash move.

30:03 Adam It's not just sexual, it's a white trash move. That's why you have to play Germany or Florida. So what are we doing here? The kindred spirits have to stay together. We're all going Germany?

30:14 Caller Alright, where was he?

30:16 Adam Line 5? Darren?

30:18 Yeah, you're going Germany?

30:20 Adam Yeah.

30:20 Alright, you're right.

30:26 Adam Oh man, Tori, what can't you do?

30:29 Drew Let's take one more crack at it.

30:30 Adam Play some piano, Germany or Florida.

30:33 We need a new song.

30:34 Adam We need something new.

30:35 Can we get Tori to do one?

30:37 Adam Well, we had, and I hope she's not listening, we had Pink.

30:41 Don't even talk about that.

30:42 Adam Well, I'm just saying we had Pink sing the Germany or Florida song and it really, it didn't come out as good as we would have liked it. So, and there's no real theme other than the Germany or Florida word.

30:58 Drew And I don't want to play it, don't even say it, because it's just a letter.

31:00 Adam Yeah, we don't want to poison your mind with the actual bad theme we have. You see what I'm saying? That would taint you.

31:07 Tori Amos Dr. Drew, I'm on the spot.

31:09 Drew Give her a melody.

31:12 No, no melody, no.

31:13 Drew No melody? She comes up with her own.

31:15 Just the words, Germany or Florida, that's all we have.

31:29 Adam Wait a minute, that's Ebony or Ivory. But that's good.

31:31 Drew Germany or Florida, we got that. We're good.

31:34 Adam Nice. One take Tori, they call her. Or we're not going to do any more takes, Tori. It's one or the other. That was great. Pink, you're out. Tori? In. You're in.

31:47 Caller All right.

31:49 Adam I don't want to take another Germany floor.

31:51 Caller What about this one?

31:52 Drew That's fine.

31:53 Adam Line two over here. This is Nicole. You're 20? What's up?

32:01 Caller Well, my fiance and I just moved back from Utah about two months ago and we moved in with my parents temporarily just until we can get back on our feet with the new baby and everything. My dad has been snooping through our stuff and we pay him rent every month. We pay him rent and tonight, for instance, since we got back and my fiance works with my dad's company and my dad was called this evening from a check cashing place just to verify the number and my dad started telling him that he wasn't able to cash the check because my dad was the king of the castle and my fiance didn't live there. He only slept there.

32:51 Drew He's the fiance but you're living together? Dads could freak out about that.

33:01 Adam You mean pre-marriage living?

33:03 Drew In the same house with them?

33:05 Caller We are.

33:06 Drew Pumping in the same house with dad?

33:08 Caller Well, probably.

33:09 Caller Yeah, unfortunately.

33:11 Adam How do you know he's snooping through your stuff?

33:15 Caller Oh, really?

33:16 Drew Yeah. You got to either get married fast or get out of there. He's not going to get over this.

33:23 Adam You being married and living there is not the answer either. No.

33:26 Drew He'll get over it. He'll be so weird.

33:28 Adam Kindred Tori agrees. No, this guy's a pain in the ass. He's intrusive. They're calling from Riverside. That's a disaster.

33:36 Drew Every time we try to leave what?

33:38 Caller Every time we try to leave, he'll call the cops and tell them that we stole the car.

33:42 And the car is mine.

33:44 Caller It was a graduation gift from him and my mom.

33:46 Drew Is he?

33:47 Look.

33:48 Drew Is he alcoholic?

33:50 Caller No. And I just found out on Thanksgiving that he used to do coke.

33:57 Drew As I say, I think he may be doing stimulants now. That is sort of a drug addict move that called the police and stole a car.

34:03 Adam Look, Nicole, get out of there. You guys can't scrape together first and last for a crappy apartment.

34:10 Drew You're paying him rent anyway.

34:11 Caller We've been working on it. And my dad is pretty much his boss at work. And he's like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, you'll get your ass. And then he's like, oh, well.

34:20 Drew What kind of work?

34:22 It's construction.

34:25 Drew Adam was making the universal hammer move.

34:27 Adam Yeah, I know, I know. I know construction workers when I hear them. First off, you're no excuse not to get an apartment in Riverside because I believe they pay you to stay in apartments in Riverside.

34:39 Drew But Nicole's dad is Mike Stroman.

34:48 Adam I'd love to hear your dad's version of the show. I'd love to hear your dad's version of the show. I think we can. I think we can. I think we can. I think we can. I think we can. I think we can. I think we can. I think we can. I think we can. We live with him and we work with him and we share our lives 100%.

35:21 Drew Even good parents, you shouldn't be doing this. Bad boundaries.

35:24 Adam Your fiance is an adult. He should get a job somewhere else. If he's a decent carpenter, he can get a job on any other crew. You guys save up a couple hundred bucks and get the hell out of there. Until then, you just lay low.

35:36 Drew The reason you haven't moved out yet is you really don't want to. You're engaged in a dance with that and you gotta just stop.

35:41 Caller Every time we try to move out, he calls the cops on us.

35:45 Adam What the hell does that mean?

35:46 Drew Excuse me, you're not, Nicole, Nicole, you're not allowed to walk outside of a house?

35:52 Caller No, we're allowed to go places, but if we don't come back, he'll call the cops. He'll say that we're mistreating the baby and all that kind of crap.

35:59 Drew So what do you care?

35:59 Adam All right, but listen, let me tell you something, Nicole. You guys are engaged in a endless white trash dance with this guy.

36:09 Drew Oh, and in your world, those are the 911 calls. These people would be eliminated.

36:13 Adam I know, cause you get three and then we put you down. The fourth one, we put you down. Yeah, listen, Nicole, please, for the sake of your kid, you do have a kid? All right, just get out of there. I know it's easier. It fuels your fire to stay there and blame him for everything. He's an idiot, but you're an idiot for hanging with an idiot.

36:32 Drew Yeah, there's nothing. There's nothing we're doing that's wrong. So what do you care if he calls the police? What do you care?

36:37 Oh, the husband.

36:38 Tori Amos What the hell?

36:39 Adam Jesus Christ.

36:42 Oh, I can't.

36:43 Adam These people, it's like the more effed up you are and the worse your relationship is, the more you're drawn to it. It's like some tooth that is exquisitely painful and you can't stop playing with it with your tongue.

36:53 Tori Amos Let me ask you something, Dr. Drew. So in her situation, just say he's threatening doing this all the time, call the cops. What can she do to protect herself? Can she say when the cops come, if she's there trying to get the kid into the car, look, my father is disturbed? He needs to be...

37:12 Drew The truth is your protection. What does she care if the police show up at her house? Thank you for coming.

37:17 Tori Amos Thank you for coming and my father has severe problems and we have to go.

37:21 Drew That's why I brought up Adam's 911 policy. They should be looking at the data with a jaundiced point of view and have him evaluated for nuisance calls to the cops.

37:29 Adam It's just anybody who uses the police force as their own personal bodyguard or home enforcement, home security. Yeah, the people use the cops to screw with their neighbors and they use the cops for preemptive strikes. You get an argument with your neighbor, so you get a restraining order against them, so it's on record. People just think the cops are sort of there to settle their crappy family disputes. Like I said, you get the cops. Here's the thing, when I'm in charge, Tori, first off, you get three lawsuits over the course of your lifetime. Two. Two?

38:08 Drew Two.

38:08 Adam All right, but if you make it to 80, they'll give you one more.

38:11 Tori Amos No, not in the music business. You should be given 80. Well, 80 lawsuits.

38:17 Adam People can sue you until they're blue in the face.

38:19 Tori Amos That's right.

38:19 Adam You can't initiate lawsuits. Counter lawsuits are fine. That's a push.

38:24 Tori Amos How many can you initiate?

38:26 Adam Three in a lifetime.

38:27 Tori Amos Okay, that's fine. I'll go with three.

38:30 Adam And you get three 9-1-1 calls every eight years. Perfect. That's the fourth one. They put a bullet in your head.

38:35 Drew Pow.

38:36 Adam I don't care what happened. I don't care if a guy's cut a hole in your roof and he's lowering himself down in your living room naked with a bandolero ammunition belt.

38:44 Drew The cops will take care of him after they shoot you.

38:46 Adam They got to shoot you first. That's right.

38:48 Tori Amos What about the guy that calls and says, I wrote Corn Flake Girl?

38:51 Adam Oh, really?

38:52 Tori Amos Oh, yes.

38:53 Adam Lawsuit, huh?

38:54 Tori Amos Well, it didn't get that far.

38:56 Adam Did he call your record label and say he wrote Corn Flake Girl?

38:58 Tori Amos He called my dad.

39:00 Caller Your dad?

39:01 Tori Amos Who handles my publishing.

39:03 Adam But it was your brother, right?

39:04 Tori Amos No, it wasn't my brother.

39:05 Adam Really?

39:06 Tori Amos But the good thing is my dad, you know, they had to walk through it. He said he would pray for him.

39:11 Wow.

39:13 Adam Your dad said he would pray for Corn Flake Boy?

39:15 Tori Amos Yeah, for Corn Flake Boy, yeah. True.

39:19 Drew Welcome to the United States. There's no way you can be rendering a service and not get sued.

39:24 Adam That wouldn't count. That wouldn't count on your record because he was going after you. And I'm sure he's had multiple other weird things. Yeah. All right. I put him down. Personal favorite of you. Tori Amos here. Corn Flake Gal. We'll take a little break. We'll be right back.

39:42 Caller Loveline, we'll be right back.

39:44 Thanks.

40:10 Adam It's Loveline, I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1, Tori Amos is our guest tonight, Tales of a Librarian. Name of the very handsomely packaged double CD set, and like I said, you can download off the internet all you like, you're never gonna get this. This is a, this is handsome, and it makes a fine addition to any CD collection. Yes, Drew?

40:37 Drew Fine.

40:38 Adam That's right, you just repeat the last word I say of whatever sentence.

40:42 Drew Sentence.

40:44 Adam Enough.

40:45 Drew Said.

40:47 Adam Oh, you're actually adding them on. All right, oh, we have a question for Tori. You're 23?

40:55 Caller I am.

40:56 Adam What's up?

40:57 Caller I just had a question for Tori. I was just wondering what the process was for picking which songs to put on the album and kind of waiting through all the material.

41:07 Tori Amos We got all the original multis in the multitracks and put them all up on the board and listened to them and got a pile going of the ones that had held up over the years.

41:20 Adam How many songs did you have to choose from or potential candidates did you have?

41:24 Tori Amos I'm trying to think in my brain, but a lot, like a hundred. And besides and everything like that. And so we went through everything. And in some cases we had to use safeties instead of the originals because they had been lost in the tape libraries. And as the record industry is imploding, really the first thing it seems to have gone are the tape libraries.

41:54 Adam Now when you say safeties, you mean backups that were made?

41:58 Tori Amos Yeah, backups.

42:00 Adam And do you have those or does the label have those?

42:02 Tori Amos We make copies of everything. This was an opportunity to get into my own stores and make up sort of my own little library of music before it was lost.

42:15 Adam Is stuff safer now that it's like digitally stored?

42:23 Tori Amos Yeah, yeah, yeah. We had to bake some of the multis. Yes, some term.

42:29 Adam I know what that means, Drew.

42:30 Tori Amos But the whole thing is...

42:31 Adam It's when you get stoned and listen to your own music. Yes, baking. Bake and listen. Yeah, should you get stoned and throw darts to figure out what songs were on there?

42:41 Tori Amos No, yes, you can store... Yes, to answer your question. Yes, you can store things better.

42:45 Adam Oh, I know what it is. Hey Sue?

42:47 Caller Uh-huh.

42:48 Adam Any other questions for Tori?

42:52 Tori Amos Hello, hello, hello.

42:53 Adam Any more for Tori?

42:54 Caller Well, I just actually want to say that it was a great album and are you planning on doing any live shows to support this or is it just kind of media?

43:03 Tori Amos No, just media. We did a show in London, like a little tiny sort of moment Q&A.

43:11 Adam Yeah, what about playing? Not launching a big tour?

43:16 Tori Amos No, 2005.

43:18 Adam Oh yeah, and then you'll go everywhere?

43:19 Tori Amos Yeah, I gotta go drive Tash to ballet class next week.

43:23 Adam Tash is her husband. He's English, they don't have masculine names there. But he can't drive. Hey Sue, good times there baby doll. Yeah, good, you're prioritizing. I like that. Drew, what are you doing?

43:42 Drew Prioritizing.

43:43 Adam All right, somebody called you from the hospital?

43:45 Drew I'm trying to figure out what happened.

43:46 Adam If that's your wife, she's in trouble.

43:47 Drew No, I think it may be low battery or something. I think this is.

43:50 Adam Uh-oh. Sarah?

43:52 Yeah.

43:53 Adam You got a question for Tori?

43:55 Yes, I have a question for Tori. Hi, Tori. My name's Sarah. And I'm in Vancouver, Washington. And I just saw your last concert in December of last year. And my question for you is how do you feel about being such a huge inspiration to so many women and being such a great positive role model and just every day when I listen to your music and it's just such a great escape.

44:24 Drew Lauren, is that you?

44:25 Caller Hello.

44:26 Adam Yeah.

44:27 Caller Hi.

44:27 Adam Junior producer Lauren is beside herself. How does it feel being a goddess? I mean, inspiration to women.

44:36 Tori Amos Well, I think that when I was growing up, there were women that I looked to and some didn't come out on the other side so well. I looked to them as artists like Sylvia Plath and George O'Keefe, who lived to a ripe old age, which is great. Great painter. But I kind of sort of started to read as much as I could, developing yourself, the inner world. And I started just getting into, because this is what I was into, the Jungians.

45:16 Adam Oh, the Jung.

45:18 Tori Amos Carl Jung, yeah. James Hollis, James Hilburn, reading things so that I could find a way to sort of maybe. No, no, no, no. I got into that in my early twenties. I think that the whole thing is, is with the music industry, sometimes you can get seduced by all those bells and whistles. And at a certain point you have to remember why you're making the music and that it's a privilege to do it.

45:52 Adam Well, let me ask you, Tori, did you, when you were younger, late, let's say as a teenager, did you think that you were disturbed or troubled, that you were broken and needed to be fixed in any way? I mean, when you went out and sought this knowledge.

46:11 Drew Or did you think I'm going to be successful and I need to be sort of armed with, you know?

46:15 Adam Not true, don't make it easy.

46:17 Drew No, I'm just, you don't know.

46:18 Adam Do you know what I'm saying?

46:19 Tori Amos I think I might have had a little bit of both. I think I might have thought that the music side was strong, but the personality side, the side that I grew up in a very Christian home and it was quite controlling. And so to try and figure out, there was a lot of shame too associated with women's issues and it was completely accepted to go be quote unquote a provider or to get a job. But it was very different to have an independent sexual life before marriage.

47:00 Adam I don't want to cut it off after. I think she said sex. But Tori said she's staying for the first hour. And that's what she meant except for the one more break. Yeah. Because we're just getting into some good stuff. So you hang out for one more. Few more minutes, right? Let's play another song. Yeah. All right. Tori Amos here. We'll be right back after this. Hey everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew. Just a little sample of the kind of music you'll be getting off the new Tori Amos. Now, you'll be hearing none of that. Just a very deep, soulful, and melodic, talented musician banging away on them 88s.

48:15 Drew And Tori was just talking about guilt and shame and sex.

48:17 Adam Yes. That's where we left off. Yeah, what about that? Where were we? Oh, yeah, where you were growing up.

48:26 Drew Hyper-religious.

48:27 Tori Amos Hyper-religious.

48:28 Adam Oh, your family was hyper-religious.

48:29 Tori Amos Well, yeah, my dad and his mom.

48:34 Drew What was the religion?

48:36 Tori Amos Methodist for him, but she was Church of God. She was a minister, too, his mother and his father. They were sort of teacher, missionary people in the hills of Virginia.

48:50 Drew Did you go out into the wilds and battle on?

48:53 Tori Amos Yeah, and said, oh, my heavens, this will be my enemy. So when I was five, I knew my grandmother would have burned the Magdalen at the stake. And it was clear to me that a woman integrated with her, her sexuality, with her spirituality was just something that they could not accept. The idea that you can have both.

49:19 Drew They're afraid of it.

49:19 Tori Amos That wholeness. Yeah. So it was, you had to make a choice. And over the years.

49:25 Drew So the flesh or the spirit.

49:26 Tori Amos Yeah. Or the mother Mary or the Magdalen in Christian mythology.

49:29 Caller I see.

49:30 Tori Amos So you choose the mother Mary, which is, she's devoid of her sexuality. Although she had children historically, mother Mary, as we know.

49:40 Drew How dare you? How dare you?

49:41 Caller Well, that's blasphemy.

49:42 Tori Amos No, it's true. Go read your books.

49:44 Drew Oh, he had brothers.

49:45 Tori Amos And then Mary Magdalen. Magdalen.

49:47 Drew Magdalen.

49:51 Tori Amos Mary Magdalen, of course, stripped of her spirituality. So it's been my sort of, what I was trying to do as a teenager, was marry the Marys inside my being. And when I would masturbate, I would be bringing the two Marys together into my being.

50:10 Adam I brought the two Larrys together into the hamper.

50:12 Drew Yeah, but you were thinking about the two Marys.

50:14 Adam I was thinking about two Marys, but it was the two Larrys that converged into my dad's hamper. And so, Drew, who did you bring together? What's a hamper?

50:23 Drew Where you put your laundry?

50:25 Adam What's a hamper? My goodness. Here your servants have been chasing you around for too long, sweetie.

50:30 Drew His socks ended up in the hamper.

50:32 Adam Tori doesn't even, she takes her clothes off. She throws them all around the house. They're hanging from the light fixtures. Hampers were civilized. People keep their unmentionables. They're filthy unmentionables.

50:45 Tori Amos Maybe hampers is another name for your unmentionables.

50:48 Adam What did you guys call the basket?

50:50 Caller The laundry basket. The laundry basket.

50:52 Adam The laundry basket. That's what we call it.

50:56 Drew Hamsters. All right, Drew.

51:02 Adam All right, let's, where are we? Got a question for Tori. What about poor Danielle over here?

51:08 Drew I'm ready for that.

51:09 Caller Yeah, it's a heavy one. We'll talk to her.

51:11 Adam Danielle?

51:12 Hi.

51:13 Adam You're 15? What's up?

51:16 Caller I was molested by my dad since I was 6, and I was wondering what I should expect and how to deal with it later on.

51:25 Adam Six until now?

51:28 Caller 15. Well, yeah, pretty much.

51:30 Drew Have you reported it?

51:32 Caller No.

51:32 Drew Does your mom know about it?

51:34 Caller Nope.

51:36 Drew First thing you need to do is blow the cover on this thing. Because what you are now is a perfect victim. The way you get through these experiences with your dad is by checking out emotionally, right? You just kind of go somewhere else. Right? Yeah. And that dissociation, that what you've learned to do in order to manage this horrible abuse is something that needs to be sort of worked out in therapy. You need to be able to have a range of feelings without checking out, without drifting into this dissociative state. And whenever people will see you, victimizers will know you're a victim and they will come after you and you will freeze and you'll be re-victimized over and again in your life.

52:20 Adam Yeah, most everybody we've spoken to who is molested and victimized at the hands of a family member or at least at an early age become victims at some point again and over and over again by the way too.

52:34 Drew Yes.

52:35 Adam So in order, I mean, in order not to have that down the road for yourself and your dad needs to be brought to justice and you need to work out these feelings.

52:45 Drew One of the ways to sort of move away from being a victim is to start asserting yourself and coming to your own defense and the first part of that is going to be to acknowledge this reality.

52:54 Caller I don't think anyone should believe me though because like I'm kind of like my parents image of a rebellious teen and my mom already knows that my dad and I don't get along very well and it doesn't happen anymore because we fight so much.

53:07 Drew Does RAIN have any services?

53:09 Tori Amos Yeah, they do have services if you want to call somebody there where you are. The good thing would be is to try and get some counseling.

53:18 Drew Do you have that number?

53:19 I got it. I have it.

53:22 Tori Amos Or on the website because I feel like you need a support group. I mean, Dr. Drew, if she's 15 years old, she's 15. So where would she go? I think, you know, the nuts and bolts of when she confronts this, you know, the fear of having no place to go. Where's the support system?

53:42 Drew That's right. They're going to take my dad away. They're going to blame me. All these feelings of guilt, shame. Maybe the first thing to do is to get a therapist or get a support group.

53:49 Tori Amos And also nobody's going to believe me because that's a big one. And people pointing a finger and saying, you're a liar or you're crazy.

53:56 Caller I've had a counselor.

53:58 Tori Amos Have you?

53:58 Drew You do have one?

53:59 Caller Yeah, but my parents made me go because they thought I was suicidal or whatever.

54:04 Drew That's great that you keep going, but you got to tell them about what's happening here. You did tell them?

54:09 Caller No, I don't like her.

54:10 Drew You're not going to like anybody, Daniel. Anybody who tries to help you is going to feel bad.

54:15 Adam Yeah. The only people you're going to like are people you need to get away from.

54:18 Drew Stay away from. That's absolutely true. So tell her.

54:21 Adam Why Drew and I get along so well? We both hate each other.

54:27 Drew I was sexually abused for many years.

54:29 Adam It could be part of it. No, we don't care for each other. That's why we know to stay close to each other.

54:36 Drew Yeah, it's converse.

54:38 Adam You're like brocca flower. It tastes crappy, but it's good for you. Hey, Daniel. Let's have a little sidebar here. If I was sending my 15-year-old daughter to a therapist of a dad that was molesting his daughter for many, many years, I would be freaked out that she would spill all her guts to the therapist.

55:03 Drew Some of these guys are so effed up and in such disavowal, such repudiation of what they're doing, that they literally believe they're going to be able to just deny it and get away with it.

55:13 Adam Daniel, did he tell you don't say anything about this to the therapist or anything like that?

55:19 Caller He doesn't know that I don't like it. He seems to be like in his own little world and he can't realize that he doesn't understand body language. That when I'm like slamming the door in his face it probably means I don't want to do anything.

55:35 Adam Is your dad an alcoholic?

55:37 Caller I think he sort of was, but he didn't really admit to it and he's pretty much stopped now. He's on a diet that doesn't allow alcohol.

55:46 Adam Let's see. What's he on? Atkins?

55:50 Caller Yeah.

55:52 Adam No booze?

55:54 Caller He does drink a little bit still.

55:58 Tori Amos Have you confronted him and said stop it or I'm going to call the cops?

56:04 Caller No. I have like I talked to one of my friends about it and he told me that I need to like tell him to stop and I said that for myself a couple of times and I don't know, I just went to my room and shut my door.

56:18 Adam Alright, so Danielle, do you have the RAIN number? The 656 HOPE? Call it. You do. Alright, just call it.

56:25 Drew This is the beginning of you coming to your own aid, your own defense. But you're going to have to do this systematically and regularly. This is not an easy situation to pull yourself out of.

56:34 Adam No. If you do make it out of it, you'll be in better shape than most.

56:39 Drew You'll be stronger. Because she's taking action.

56:41 Adam Well, because you will have had so much therapy and so much introspection and so much of that that you'll actually be stronger than most that never get involved with it.

56:54 Tori Amos There is a huge community out there of young men and women, as you all know, that are on the path to getting out of the victim mode to the survival mode. And with the website, that's really important because people are able to share their experiences and empower each other. Yeah, really. I think that's so important, Daniel, is that you're getting a support group and they're out there and these guys can give you all the website address because I've gotten a lot of letters from people that say that that was the thing that they went to, they needed every day, every other day to have that courage to look that person in the eye and to say no, no more touching.

57:42 Adam www.rain.org rain is r-a-i-double n.org. Alright, let's take a question for Tori. Kayla? Hey, you're 17.

57:56 Caller Oh, yes, I am 17.

57:59 Caller Tori, I love you and I saw you on Leno and you were absolutely beautiful. Um, my question is, do you have any advice for young pianists or words of wisdom?

58:09 Tori Amos Um, do you have a piano in your house?

58:13 Caller Yes, I do.

58:14 Tori Amos Good. Do you get to play it often?

58:16 Caller Um, yes. I don't have much time because I'm taking a lot of hard school courses, but I try to get in front of it as much as possible. And actually, the first thing I taught myself to play was putting the damage on.

58:33 Tori Amos So you taught yourself to play?

58:35 Caller Yeah.

58:35 Tori Amos Pretty much.

58:36 Caller I took some lessons for a while, but I've had to pretty much teach myself.

58:40 Tori Amos Well, you know what?

58:42 Adam Tori's told me privately that she'll crush any newcomer. Privately. That's the private Tori. That's the one you know.

58:52 Caller The big business. Yeah.

58:54 Adam That's the business woman. But the on-air Tori is a different Tori, and she's going to pretend like she wants to get into the business. So give her some tips.

59:02 Caller Well, I met Tori at a meet and greet, and she seemed pretty encouraging.

59:05 Adam That was the meet and greet, Tori. Oh, there's like five Tories.

59:10 Tori Amos Adam obviously knows them all.

59:13 Adam Two of them are nice. One's kind of a push. And then the other two, you know, get out of the way.

59:18 Tori Amos All I can say to you is that even though you're taking hard courses, it seems to me that an instrument is a place where you can recharge your batteries. And if you can just set aside time every day. You know, some people set aside time to do exercise or this or that, and I'm not saying you don't do that. But I feel like there has to be creativity in your life every day. And if this is your way, then you just, you make it a priority. You get off the phone for that 30 minutes or whatever. And you say, I'm gonna close the door and spin this with my instrument. And so many people, I think, growing up, aren't encouraged to have that creativity time that it's as important, I think, as anything else. And you can weigh in on this, Dr. Drew.

1:00:09 Adam Do you think, you know, some people sort of think you're supposed to wait around until a bolt of lightning hits you to go create. But you're saying it's a muscle that needs to be worked out on a daily basis.

1:00:21 Tori Amos I go every day to my instrument, even if I have nothing, you know, that's cooking.

1:00:27 Drew Are you trying to write?

1:00:29 Adam I go to my instrument two, three times a day.

1:00:32 Tori Amos No, but I just sit down.

1:00:33 Drew And the hamper, the hamper and the instrument.

1:00:34 Tori Amos Yeah, I sit down and you just play. And sometimes it isn't about, am I making anything that anybody else will love. It's about no different than like you like working out and whatever it is. You have that time to just let yourself be free without being that critic in your head. I mean, there's a time for that if you're, you know, getting a performance together. You can try and be objective. But there's so many people, I think, that want to be creative but just stop themselves because they feel like they have to have an idea to do it instead of just sit down as a discipline.

1:01:11 Adam I think there's more people who aren't creative, who want to be creative, who just want to dress creatively, talk creatively, and hang out with creative people. There's a lot of them, too.

1:01:23 Tori Amos Yeah, but there are different kinds of creativity.

1:01:26 Adam There's the good and then there's sucky. There's a lot of sucky out there, yes, Drew? Kayla?

1:01:33 Caller Yep.

1:01:34 Caller Alright, there you go.

1:01:35 Adam Play that piano so you don't become sucky.

1:01:38 Caller Well, I'll do my darndest.

1:01:40 Caller Thank you very much.

1:01:41 Adam You'll be fine.

1:01:43 Drew Clive Barker said he'd write every day.

1:01:45 Adam Clive Barker would uh, Tori, you know Clive Barker is?

1:01:50 Tori Amos Bryce is right?

1:01:52 Drew Yes!

1:01:54 Caller That's good.

1:01:56 Caller Not everyone's a talker.

1:01:58 Adam No, that's Bob Barker. Clive Barker writes horror novels. Clive Barker is the world's gayest horror novelist. He likes Lunchables. It's unfair because Tori is so far away from this country. So far everyone we've mentioned has been a game show host. And I think she thought that was the category we're on, much like a game show. Anderson? Anderson? That's Ben Stein. Now Clive Barker, he writes these horror novels and he says that it... I think what Drew's getting at is and what Tori is saying too is it's a discipline. I mean, everyone thinks, well, it's whimsical, it's great, oh, you're on tour, you're meeting people, there's throngs of fans wanting you to sign autographs, but you have to... anyone who's successful at it really turns it into a job and works at it like anybody else.

1:02:56 Tori Amos Yeah, but I don't know if I'd say turns it into a job, I think turns it into a discipline. A structure. Because a discipline is no different than some people get up and do yoga, some people, you know, run for two miles, some people, whatever. But I just do gardening for two hours. They just do that thing that gives them that sense of, hey, I'm creating something. And I, yeah, I sit down for two hours every day without fail, even if I don't have a song on my brain, just to, you know, play.

1:03:24 Adam Drew, do you know the great composer Gene Rayburn?

1:03:28 Drew No, he sounds like a great guy, though. Did he work with Charles Nelson Riley over?

1:03:34 Adam And Brett Summers. All right. Let's take some more questions. Now, we're going to play another Tori Amos song, but we'll do that when she's gone. She can listen to that on the radio on the way home. Or wherever she goes.

1:03:45 Tori Amos Yeah. It's almost time for me to go be mommy.

1:03:47 Adam It's close. Yeah. Yeah. That's a little code we have worked out.

1:03:51 Caller That's right. That's right. She calls me daddy.

1:03:57 Drew I figured.

1:03:58 Caller Will.

1:04:00 Hey.

1:04:00 Adam You're 13? You're calling from Anchorage.

1:04:04 Caller Yeah, man.

1:04:05 Adam Yeah, man.

1:04:06 Caller What is up?

1:04:07 Adam You're 13 for Christ's sake.

1:04:10 Caller Yeah.

1:04:11 Adam Yeah.

1:04:11 Caller That's your question.

1:04:13 Adam Thank you.

1:04:14 Drew What's going on, Will?

1:04:15 Caller Well, I masturbate a lot as much as I shouldn't, but my penis is flaking off. Like, it's coming off in chunks.

1:04:25 Drew So sort of like those glaciers. It's not coming off. The glaciers as they enter into the sea there.

1:04:29 Dude, you beat off?

1:04:31 Adam What do you guys use? Maybe it's not using enough lubricant. Maybe it's more seal oil. Whatever they use over there.

1:04:41 Drew Maybe whatever he's using is causing a dermatitis and that's causing him to flake, or someone's left behind on his skin and it seems like it's flaking. Or maybe his dork is like a snake.

1:04:51 Adam It's molting. Now, this, I wish my penis was molt.

1:04:57 Drew Really? Tori's like, what? Your penis is molt?

1:05:01 Adam People, it's like, hey, Adam's penis is on the floor. No, no, no, it's molted. That's his old penis. It's hollow. It's hollow. Now, put your finger, no, I'm not, okay, don't put your finger in it, but the point is, that means his penis is once again grown.

1:05:15 Drew You could use it as a puppet. You could. A finger puppet, in your case.

1:05:18 Adam Hang it from the rear view. All right, so Will is, well, let's not, Will's probably full of crap because he said his penis was coming off in big pieces, but guys...

1:05:27 Drew He probably has a little bit of flaking. It's just an irritation.

1:05:29 Adam We're talking about masturbation with Tori a little bit earlier and it's catch as catch can. There's no manual for this.

1:05:38 Drew Masturbation?

1:05:39 Adam Yeah. I mean, guys, every one of my buddies made the, noticed the heartache of trying to beat off with Prel. You know, guys beat off with shampoo and burn their dork. You know, guys, there's a lot of mistakes are made.

1:05:53 Drew Did I learn from you last night that there's something called a vaginal tube? Or something?

1:05:57 Adam Well, that's an autopsy, said something else.

1:06:01 Drew Oh, I thought that was done pre-morbidly that the guys were putting those things into.

1:06:05 Adam No, please, Drew.

1:06:06 Drew I don't dare you.

1:06:08 Adam I don't dare you. But there's tips. I mean, you gotta know. Like if you're young, like Tori, like for me, don't beat off with dandruff shampoo. OK, that's number one on my list. That's one and two. Yeah. Also, lock your door. Your stepmom's gonna come in. Two, if you're using your stepmom's lube, eventually, it's gonna run dry even if it's just a squirt a day and she's gonna put two and two together. So go out and cop your own lube. You know what I mean?

1:06:41 Drew So there's no embarrassing.

1:06:42 Adam Right. Tori, any tips for the gals?

1:06:45 Tori Amos Yeah, if they tell you your hand's gonna fall off cause you do it. Uh-uh. Don't believe them.

1:06:50 Adam Is that what dad told you?

1:06:52 Tori Amos Dad and I didn't discuss this, but other girls in the church would say, you know, if you do this.

1:06:59 Drew The shower and your hand is okay.

1:07:01 Adam Yeah, right. I was told I would go blind and said, oh, okay. I started learning brown. I said, this is something I'm gonna have to, you know, it's a handicap.

1:07:10 Drew I'm content with it.

1:07:11 Adam That's many people have had worse handicaps than this.

1:07:14 Drew And this is yours. It's gonna happen.

1:07:15 Adam It's gonna be mine. Yeah. And the point is, if I'm gonna go blind, let's do it in high school so I can, you know, while I'm still able to learn braille and still able to ingest this material and then just make a life out of it. Yeah. Mm hmm.

1:07:30 Caller All right.

1:07:31 Drew Tori's gotta go.

1:07:32 Adam Tori's gotta go because she's gotta be mommy.

1:07:34 Drew Right.

1:07:36 Caller Yeah.

1:07:36 Adam I wish I had that luxury of being mommy. I wish I could just pick up and leave and be mommy anytime I want it. Now, I gotta be talk show hostie. You understand?

1:07:48 Drew You're a responsible guy.

1:07:49 Adam Tori, always a delight.

1:07:53 Tori Amos See you soon.

1:07:54 Adam You come back anytime you like. And when you start, when you do the new tour in 2005, come by.

1:08:01 Tori Amos I'll come visit.

1:08:02 Adam Thank you.

1:08:02 Tori Amos And you've gotta come to the show and do a little song and dance.

1:08:06 Adam Where are you going to play? You don't know. You'll play the Will Turner somewhere like that.

1:08:09 Tori Amos The Greek.

1:08:10 Adam The Greek. I'd love to go see it. When? 2005.

1:08:15 Drew Oh, Drew, you've got a date already. Well, 2005's our date.

1:08:20 Adam We'll be right back. Hey, hey, Loveline, y'all. I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew. Tori Amos has left the building. Such a good spirit, that Tori. I'll tell you what.

1:08:50 Caller I love that woman.

1:08:53 Adam Tales of a librarian. His name is CD. We'll hear another song off it sometime.

1:08:59 Drew End of the Spring?

1:09:00 Adam Yeah. Back to the phones we go. Yes, Drew?

1:09:02 Drew Yes.

1:09:03 Caller All right.

1:09:05 Adam Nicole? You're 18?

1:09:07 Caller Yeah. I've been having sex with the same guy for about three years and he always tells me I don't want a relationship but he'll date every other girl but me basically.

1:09:20 Caller Oh baby doll.

1:09:21 Drew He just had sex with you.

1:09:22 Caller Yeah.

1:09:23 Drew Why do you put up with this?

1:09:25 Caller I have no idea.

1:09:26 Adam Because your dad's an a-hole.

1:09:28 Caller Yeah. That's what my mom says.

1:09:30 Drew Well, that's why.

1:09:31 Caller You got to believe her.

1:09:34 Drew Don't ever think this guy's going to come around. It is not going to happen.

1:09:38 Caller Yeah. That's what his friends tell me that too. No.

1:09:42 Drew It's not about people telling you that. That's reality.

1:09:44 Adam Yeah. Although I'd sock my friends right in the nuts if they were telling someone I was having steady sex with for three years and not ever having to commit to it.

1:09:53 Caller Hey, they just want to...

1:09:54 Adam That means they want to have sex with you too, by the way.

1:09:56 Drew That's exactly what that means.

1:09:57 Caller No, they just didn't mean it now.

1:09:59 Drew That is precisely what that means.

1:10:01 Adam But Drew, when you're 17 and 18, everything that comes out of your mouth means I want to have sex, right?

1:10:06 Drew Everything, yes.

1:10:07 Caller Yeah. And every time I want to get with somebody else, I tell him, well, I don't want to see anyone. That's when he starts calling me all the time.

1:10:19 Drew He's a colossal prick.

1:10:21 Adam How old is he?

1:10:23 Caller He's 22.

1:10:25 Adam Yeah, he's an idiot.

1:10:27 Caller And he'll date these other girls and then they break up all the time.

1:10:31 Drew He's 22? So, by the way, when he started this behavior, you were 14 or 15 and he was 19.

1:10:38 Caller I was, it was a month before I was 16 and he was 19, yeah.

1:10:42 Drew Yeah, they said idiot.

1:10:43 Adam Criminal slash jackass slash idiot slash retard slash felon.

1:10:48 Caller Yeah.

1:10:49 Drew All right, slash, Nicole needs to get the hell away from this guy.

1:10:52 Adam Yeah, why don't you salvage some dignity and break it off with this guy?

1:10:56 Caller I tried to do that and I don't know what it is because before him, I was fine and if a guy did something like that, I would be like, I'll tell you what, let me tell you what happens, everybody.

1:11:06 Adam Your strength, your spiritual strength, your dignity, whatever you want to call it, it's not at one level constantly.

1:11:14 Drew It's a reserve. It's like a, like a tank.

1:11:17 Adam It floats. It goes up and there's some pretty lean years. And there's some years when the tank is full. And your tank may have been pretty close to full, but you can meet somebody that will drain your tank. And what happens is, is the more this guy calls and says, oh, just come over there and get on top of you for a couple minutes and then splits and you don't see him for another month. And then he does it again. The more that happens, the more your reserve gets lowered. You become weaker and weaker. You start questioning yourself. You lose your dignity. And then at that point, you're like a Superman with a crotch full of kryptonite.

1:11:53 Drew Yep, that's right.

1:11:54 Adam Nothing you can do.

1:11:55 Drew No. All right.

1:11:55 Adam Now, here's how you slowly get your reserves and your strength back. You start standing up.

1:12:01 Drew You come to your own defense. You make healthy choices on your behalf. You delay gratification. You make hard choices. You don't do these things. They're highly arousing and attractive to you.

1:12:09 Adam Because for you... And when everybody was in the sound of my voice to do that, except for when it's you. When it's me.

1:12:14 Drew Then you roll over. And for people like Nicole, attraction, super attraction, bad thing. That means the guy is going to be an abuser.

1:12:21 Adam Right.

1:12:22 Drew Like your dad.

1:12:23 Adam Right. Like my dad?

1:12:24 Drew Yours too. But Nicole's particularly. If he could register a pulse.

1:12:32 Adam He would have abused if he could just get off the sofa. Like that would have been movement.

1:12:36 Drew You gotta understand that there are theorists that believe that neglect and deprivation are the most serious forms of abuse.

1:12:42 Adam No ass, Sherlock.

1:12:47 Drew I guess I struck a chord. Because the the nourishment that your brain needed, you got none.

1:12:54 Caller Hmm.

1:12:55 Drew Yeah. So I'm talking about.

1:12:57 Caller Don't worry.

1:12:57 Adam It's payback time. I haven't even hatched my plan yet. I'm waiting for my dad to turn 80 or I give him a serious beating. I think I can handle him now.

1:13:07 Drew You take him.

1:13:07 Adam I mean, I think I could take him in a fair fight, but I'm still going to do that thing where I bust a whiskey bottle coming after over the car fender and start calling and start going, come on, old man. You know what I'm saying?

1:13:19 Drew I can imagine it now.

1:13:19 Adam I'm going to wait until he's 80 though.

1:13:20 Drew It's a very pretty sight.

1:13:21 Adam I'm going to wait until he's 80 because I want to hear ribs snapping. Femurs cracking. I want compound fractures.

1:13:29 Drew How old is he now?

1:13:30 Adam He's, my dad's, it's hard to tell how old he is because he's really, it's like an animal. He's like an old catfish or something. They don't look that much different. My dad never had a prime, but when you never have a prime, you don't really bottom out either. See what I'm saying?

1:13:48 Drew Is he in his early 70s?

1:13:50 Adam He's probably like 72.

1:13:52 Drew Not late 70s?

1:13:54 Adam No, I got a few more years.

1:13:56 Drew Shoot.

1:13:57 Adam Yeah, I'm going to get roid up, I'm going to get myself juiced up, and I'm going to go after him on his 80th birthday. I'm going to crack him like kindling over my knee. I'm going to throw him in the fireplace.

1:14:08 Drew Good times.

1:14:08 Adam It's going to be great. Yeah, see, let me explain something.

1:14:12 Drew Oh, please.

1:14:13 Adam The Corollas haven't bottomed out. They're like a car that was never nice. They're like a beige camry with a ding in the door.

1:14:21 Drew Who cares?

1:14:22 Adam Yeah, ten years after they're new, they're still just a beige camry. They don't look bad. Now, you get yourself a nice shiny red convertible with a white vinyl top on it and stuff like that. It looks like hell ten years later. And same with hot blondes. I mean, you see these women that were, you know, sex symbols and goddesses and oh my God. I mean, as they get into their 40s, the 50s and 60s, the wheels start coming off the wagon.

1:14:48 Drew Unless they're of sort of color and.

1:14:50 Adam Yeah, but even the goddess thing. I'm not even saying. You see some fat Eskimo chick. She looks crappy at 23. She looks the same crappy at 33, at 53 and at 63.

1:15:01 Drew No change, I see.

1:15:02 Adam No change.

1:15:03 Drew No wheels coming off.

1:15:04 Adam No, the wheels were never on.

1:15:06 Drew No bad to worse, I see.

1:15:07 Adam That's right. All right. You understand?

1:15:10 Drew So people are like a flower that wilts, what you're saying.

1:15:14 Adam Yeah, but if you never bloom, then you can never wilt. The petals can never fall down.

1:15:18 Drew James, what's up? You're 22.

1:15:20 Caller Hey, how you guys doing?

1:15:21 Adam That's my dad's name.

1:15:22 Caller About a week ago, I was diagnosed with scabies.

1:15:25 Drew Oh, good times.

1:15:29 Caller I received some medication.

1:15:33 Drew I know where Adam's going immediately with this.

1:15:35 Caller What's that?

1:15:37 Drew I know where Adam's going immediately with this.

1:15:39 Adam Scabies?

1:15:39 Drew Yeah.

1:15:40 Adam Why?

1:15:40 Drew What he used to treat it was a cream that he needed a prescription for. Or a pill. Did they give you the cream? Cream and a pill. Yeah. Yeah.

1:15:49 Adam Well, okay. Here's where I'm going. You really need a prescription to get crab shampoo. You need a prescription to get pills and topical ointments for scabies. Is this going to be abused? Theoretically, everything you put on you or put in your mouth can be abused at some point. I mean, you can abuse Taco Bell, you can abuse Krispy Kreme donuts as Drew was attempting to do only moments ago and still planning to do. And like I said, you can go out to the sporting goods store, buy a pistol crossbow and then go across the street buy a gallon of gasoline and then go to the next store and buy a quart of tequila. Is really the scabie medication more dangerous than that? And what are the potential abuses of the scabie medication? Why can't we just get this stuff? Is this more attorneys effing with us? Like to take that crossbow, put it right in their head.

1:16:43 Drew So James, did that help you?

1:16:46 Caller Not really. I mean, I put it on last Friday with full body application.

1:16:53 Drew Yeah, it's one night.

1:16:54 Caller It hasn't gone away yet. It went away for a couple of days and now it's slowly starting to come back.

1:17:01 Drew Do you have like in your wrist, ankles, waist, that sort of thing?

1:17:04 Caller Yeah, upper arms, upper body.

1:17:06 Drew Upper body?

1:17:07 Adam What is scabies? Is that the skin thing or is that the little mites or the worms?

1:17:12 Drew Yeah, it's a bug that gets under your skin. Yeah, it's good times. Usually scabies are sort of where your belt hits and where your stockings are.

1:17:24 Adam Why, they're like a little moisture? They get pushed into the skin there?

1:17:28 Drew Maybe they burrow. They burrow. What?

1:17:32 Caller Is it a sexually transmitted disease?

1:17:36 Drew It can be.

1:17:37 Adam With a donkey.

1:17:38 Drew But it's mostly on like couches and bedsheets and that kind of thing. But it's easily treated and what you may have, the reason you're still itching and uncomfortable, may be a persistent either allergic reaction to the bug and or just from all the scratching you've done and you may want to call your dermatologist and get some steroid creams to cool it all down. The bugs go away.

1:18:00 Adam I had a roommate that had crabs and we actually slept in the same bed.

1:18:03 Drew I don't want to hear about it.

1:18:06 Adam The bed was a...

1:18:08 Drew Futon.

1:18:09 Adam No, that was another roommate.

1:18:10 Drew Bean bag.

1:18:11 Adam No, it was just a single.

1:18:13 Caller Oh my God.

1:18:15 Drew And you're like Abraham Lincoln for God's sakes.

1:18:17 Adam Well, there was one bed and it was a single. He needed to sleep and so did I. What?

1:18:22 Drew It's like Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.

1:18:24 Adam And we're both 200 pounds.

1:18:26 Drew I understand that. That's not possible.

1:18:27 Adam We went little pixies.

1:18:28 Drew And you don't sleep right.

1:18:31 Adam No I don't. But I never got crabs. And the guy was... We shared the same bed.

1:18:35 Drew If somebody ever does your autobiography, they will accuse you of being gay. That's like they do with Abraham Lincoln. Oh, he and Herndon sleep in the same bed.

1:18:43 Adam Well, listen, you blow a couple of guys, you get labeled, let them talk.

1:18:46 Drew But anyway, James, maybe you also haven't taken care of the beds, the towels, all kinds of stuff. You got to wash everything, vacuum everything, you got to get the bugs out of your house.

1:18:55 Adam What do you wash it in?

1:18:56 Drew Just anodicurgent.

1:18:57 Adam They don't have any scabies?

1:18:58 Drew No, you don't need them. Just get them, just wash everything. Everything. Should we hear a song?

1:19:04 Adam We could.

1:19:05 Drew Nathan, 21.

1:19:06 Caller Yeah, hey, how's it going? I was just calling because since listening to your show, I'm just shocked by how many girls are molested by their fathers. And I was wondering why that is. Is there some weird attraction that all fathers have for their daughters that they have to do this?

1:19:22 Caller No, no, no, no, not at all.

1:19:23 Drew But it's guys that were sexually abused themselves become abusers and they don't just abuse one kid, they abuse lots of them.

1:19:30 Caller So it just started like with Adam and Eve or something and just got passed out.

1:19:34 Drew I hope it didn't start with Adam and Eve.

1:19:35 Caller That's where it started.

1:19:36 Drew But I think I think the horse is out of the barn since the last 40 years of sort of sexual liberation and stuff. People have been acting out a lot more sexually and this this problem has spread. Badly.

1:19:47 Caller So I don't need to worry about that or anything when I'm a father.

1:19:50 Drew Not if you haven't been abused.

1:19:51 Adam I think you're gonna you're just gonna be compelled to do it.

1:19:53 Drew Are you attracted to young kids?

1:19:55 Adam No, no, I'm not gonna do it.

1:19:56 Caller But yeah, I just can't believe it. How many girls?

1:19:59 Drew It's it's people don't want to believe it. They don't believe it. It's an unbelievably common problem. I deal with it every day in the hospital.

1:20:05 Adam And Nathan, unless your daughter is exceptionally hot.

1:20:10 Drew Jesus.

1:20:10 Adam I mean, you know, she's blind. And what are you going to do? Yeah. Well, I mean, you're a man. Man first, father second. Yes.

1:20:17 Drew You know, I remember the Simpson, OJ Simpson's wife. Seeing his dad after she was murdered going out. Well, you know, the man has his needs and he. Remember that whole weird thing he was talking about?

1:20:29 Adam Super ultra creepy. All right. So don't worry about it, Nathan.

1:20:33 Caller All right. Thanks a lot, guys.

1:20:34 Drew All right. Now we're going to hear a song.

1:20:36 Adam We'll just call and make sure he wasn't going to molest this kid who was born yet.

1:20:39 Drew They decided he wouldn't have kids then.

1:20:40 Caller Yeah.

1:20:42 Adam I'm going to go out in the hole and tell them I was out there to shut the F up because they're driving me nuts.

1:20:46 Drew Let's do that during the song. What's the song we're going to play? I promise Tori we play another song.

1:20:52 Adam I know but I don't know what the second song. It's God. There we go. Tori Amos was in The Hizzy, and now she's in The Car-y. I was just thinking to myself, Junior, Producer, Lauren, is crazed for Tori Amos. And I thought, I've often kidded with Lauren that the only reason she took this gig is that once every couple of years she gets to see Tori Amos in the flesh. And I'm sort of half kidding, but I mean it. And she as much as admitted that's why she's here too. And here's what I'd like to say to Junior, Junior, Junior, Producer Lauren. She ought to just take the next two years off until Tori comes. Why keep the charade up?

1:26:06 Drew Right.

1:26:06 Adam You know what I'm saying?

1:26:07 Drew Now that it's come to the surface, what the hell?

1:26:09 Adam Shlepping the coffee, having me yell at you about the stuff that's on my cheat sheet.

1:26:14 Drew She's learned everything there is to learn about radio. We've heard that.

1:26:16 Adam Yeah, that's who you know anyway. I'm just saying Tori's gonna be back 2005. She's gonna be playing the Greeks. She'll be promoting that. We'll give you a heads up. You just, you come back. No?

1:26:30 Drew She has to stay continuously till then. All right.

1:26:32 Adam I wouldn't hold it against her. All right, let's talk to Jenny. Jenny?

1:26:39 Caller Yes.

1:26:40 Adam You wanna know what the risks are of anal sex?

1:26:44 Caller Well, me and my boyfriend have been together for about four and a half years and we have a baby and stuff and so we were just, we were kind of wondering how to spice up our love life and if anal sex was good.

1:26:54 Drew We were or he was begging you to do this?

1:26:57 Caller Well, I was too, because I'm kind of different than other girls, I like porn. So we've done a lot of different stuff and so I like to go down on him and all that kind of stuff. We've done a lot of different stuff.

1:27:11 Drew Oh my goodness.

1:27:12 Adam Baby, you need to write a book. So it's crazy. Well, look, the first thing you can do is really do some pretty serious damage to your strap on. I mean, you can get it all, you can get the little pee hole all filled up with Duke and oh, oh, you're talking about him doing it to you.

1:27:31 Caller So I know that you're supposed to like use a condom and lots of lube and all that stuff because like no matter what. But I was wondering if he could do like damage to me.

1:27:43 Drew Yeah, yes, yes.

1:27:44 Caller So I'm wondering if like any of my fears are unfounded.

1:27:47 Adam Well, well, hold on. Lots of lube is that's that's your parachute right there. Yeah, no, why? Why condom for him?

1:27:58 Caller Yeah, he doesn't give her feces and right.

1:28:02 Adam He can get affection speak speak for yourself.

1:28:05 Drew Yeah, you do. You know, and you can't afford her feces fodder.

1:28:08 Adam Yeah, here's what I like. I like what after after a little fudge pack and the next urination, I want the toilet to be browned. Yeah, you know, and I want I want to like mud salvo. Yeah. And then and then the yellow. Why not just take my own fecal matter and pack it into my penis?

1:28:30 Caller Well, no, that's not what I'm saying.

1:28:35 Adam I I don't clean up. I just I just whiz off.

1:28:40 Drew You know, Jenny, yes, there can be harm done to you. Obviously, there you can tear stricture. Fistulas can open up infections, abscesses.

1:28:47 Adam How big is he?

1:28:48 Drew Um, well, he's like you can play it on incontinence when you're 70 years old anyway.

1:28:55 Caller Um, like around or like long?

1:29:01 Adam It's either if you have a big penis or not. I don't want to know how much it weighs.

1:29:05 Caller No, it's not that big.

1:29:07 Adam All right, well, then you're cool.

1:29:09 Drew Oh, he just hung up on somebody.

1:29:10 Adam Oh, who cares? They call all the time. See, I'm built like Slim Jim, one of those things the AAA guy uses to get the car door open. You know when you lock your keys in?

1:29:20 Drew You're a flat, you're a flat painter.

1:29:21 Adam Slide right in, no damage. Just peel that weatherstripping back. I just need an opening. Just a little crack of light. Pow, locks pop up. That's how I know when I'm done. How'd I hang up on that person?

1:29:36 Drew I don't know.

1:29:36 Adam All I did here, I just hit the hold, right? Well, maybe they hung up.

1:29:40 Drew I think so.

1:29:40 Adam Right as I hit the hold. I'm trying to freak me out.

1:29:44 Caller Whatever.

1:29:45 Adam Let's talk to Jason. Jason? Yeah. You're 18?

1:29:50 Caller Yeah. First of all, I just want to say, Dr. Drew, you're amazing and congratulations on being literally a millionaire. Adam.

1:29:58 Adam That's me, that's me. I'm literally a millionaire.

1:30:02 Caller Yeah, and Dr. Drew, you're amazing too. I've been looking for your book, actually, trying to read it, but I can't exactly find it. But to my question-

1:30:08 Drew Amazon, amazon.com.

1:30:10 Caller Yeah, to my question, I have a lot of body hair and I- Still a Loveline.

1:30:15 Adam Still a Loveline reenactment, because I always love this.

1:30:19 Caller Uh, uh, Adam, you're cool, because you're literally a millionaire.

1:30:24 Adam And Drew, you're cool too, and I've really been wanting to read your book, but I just, I don't know where to find it.

1:30:30 Drew Uh, Amazon, amazon.com.

1:30:32 Adam Uh, anyway, I got a lot of body hair.

1:30:34 Drew He went so far as to go, yeah.

1:30:37 Caller So, I guess, hey, Jason.

1:30:44 Adam Or Mr. Personalities, I like to call you. You had a question about your body hair?

1:30:49 Caller Yeah. I just want to know how I could get to go away and like stay away.

1:30:54 Adam Yeah.

1:30:56 Drew Uh, what part of the body are we talking about here?

1:30:58 Caller Uh, back and chest. Mm-hmm.

1:31:01 Drew Yes.

1:31:01 Adam Let me tell you this, Jason. First off, if you got the back hair at 18, this, uh, this journey has just begun. Do you understand?

1:31:12 Drew Do you have a lot of it?

1:31:15 Adam Any back hair at 18 means you got a nice, uh, future that's, uh, just going to be chocked full of pubes.

1:31:24 Drew Of pubes?

1:31:25 Adam Most pubes. It's pubic hair, isn't it?

1:31:27 Caller I see.

1:31:27 Drew What's on your head?

1:31:28 Adam That's my head is pubes. Yours is hair. I have pubes on my head. Do you see my head? It feels like you're scratching your balls, doesn't it? You hit my head.

1:31:45 Drew That's what I'm doing.

1:31:46 Adam You're scratching your nuts, right?

1:31:48 Drew Oh my God.

1:31:49 Adam That's what I got. That's one of the reasons I'm going to snap my dad like kindling.

1:31:53 Drew Alright, Jason. There are laser procedures to help reduce the hair. How about you just, you know, there's a pruning procedure to Adam recommends.

1:32:02 Adam Look, don't shave yourself down smooth. That's gay. You just got to find a chick that will tolerate you.

1:32:09 Drew Do you have a shear at one of those raising shears?

1:32:11 Adam Yeah. Jason.

1:32:14 Drew Like a sheep shearing thing?

1:32:15 Adam Jason.

1:32:16 Caller Yeah. Well, I have like an electric razor, but I don't want to use that.

1:32:22 Drew Listen. Clippers.

1:32:23 Caller Clippers.

1:32:23 Adam Okay. First, everyone talks about the miracle of the laser BS is expensive and it doesn't really work. And then when it grows back and it's ingrown because the hairs are cut off so deep, they get infected and blah, blah, blah. For now, there's not much you can do. Now you get go get one of those trimmer things. Clippers. When I was a kid, it's like you had to get a license and you had to be a barber and stuff. Now everyone's got those things. They're like nine bucks. And you just trim yourself. You just keep yourself groomed. Looks like a dog.

1:32:51 Caller All right. We'll be back.

1:32:53 Caller Alright guys, here's the deal. Looking to hook up? Call the Dateline. Sick of wasting time with the wrong person?

1:32:58 Caller Call the Dateline.

1:32:59 Caller One call is all you need to make. Call the Dateline. 1-877-889-DATE.

1:33:05 Tori Amos You know what I'm saying, I'm damn!

1:33:28 Drew Madison, he's inspired tonight!

1:33:31 Adam Tori left, took all the wind out of Anderson's sail. All right, I want to thank Tori Amos for coming in here tonight and being a delight. Tales of a Librarian.

1:33:40 Drew Feel kind of let down. Our incredible run of guests just ends now. Boom.

1:33:45 Adam That's all right. We've got big stuff coming up in weeks ahead. 1-800-656-HOPE, that is the rain hotline. 656-HOPE, it's an 800 number. Call that if you've been raped, molested or anything close to it. Until next time, this is Adam Carolla for Dr. Drew saying mahalo. Clive Barker would, Tori, do you know what Clive Barker is?

1:34:13 Tori Amos Bryce is right.

1:34:18 Caller This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors or this station. The producer for Loveline is Ann Ingold. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Wednesday, December 3, 2003