Episode 1000580515796

0:55 Voiceover Loveline may contain sexually oriented content.

1:00 Love Line with Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew.

1:03 Adam Hey yo, it's Love Line with Adam. That's Dr. Drew. Phone number, 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1, Dr. Drew, board certified physician, Dixon medicine specialist. Adam Rodriquez is coming in here tonight from CSI, Miami. Number one new show.

1:18 Drew New show.

1:19 Adam Number one new show. That's what I hear. Yeah, it's a big deal. All these spinoffs.

1:25 Drew I don't think it was new show. It's been around long enough. It's been huge for a couple months, hasn't it?

1:31 Adam Let's see. Spinoff, the hugely successful CSI series from CBS was the number one new show of the fall of 2002.

1:40 Drew 2002. 2002.

1:42 Adam Okay. Not so new anymore. Yeah. Yeah. Looking good. All right. So anyway, he's running just a couple minutes late, so he's going to be in here. Just a second puddle of mud tomorrow night and then Pink on Wednesday. And Kathy Griffin, who I like to call Orange. She's coming in here on Thursday. And Pink at the American Music Awards. Jimmy was hosting tonight, did a wonderful job. Very funny. And a lot of the acts, some good, some bad, but Pink, very good. Very impressive. People are impressed with her pipes.

2:20 Drew Is that her in that new Old Navy ad?

2:22 Adam I don't know.

2:24 Drew I wondered. I've never met her.

2:25 Adam So, yeah. Well, you'll tell me on Wednesday. Had a little bit of, you know, there's a handful of things out there make me feel like a snob, make me sound like a snob, maybe make me a snob. Maybe not even a snob.

2:40 Drew Maybe more than a handful of things.

2:41 Adam There's just an a-hole, but these are things I think anyone would back me up on and it would drive me insane, which is, and we've touched on this, but it just happened. It happened tonight, which is, and if any, and I know there's nobody listening to this show that doesn't evalue car parking, but please, please, please, please. We were, I was just coming out of the Shrine Auditorium, saw the, saw the Ward Show tonight. I have a strange story about that. I was sitting in the, I'll get to the car parking thing in a second. I was sitting in the booth. There's a little booth in the back, sort of makeshift tent with a TV or something in it, teleprompter type, typist, and a couple of riders and a monitor, and you sit there and you watch, and you know, if you got something funny to say, and Jimmy's going to come up there next, you want to slip him a joke, you know, you tell him. It's basically what is. About halfway in the show, Dick Clark comes bursting into the thing, and he's out of the way, out of the way. Then he grabs me, and he's like, Jimmy, you got to go up. And I said, oh, and he just sat me back down again and rushed out again. So I have no idea what the problem was. Evidently, Dick Clark thought I was Jimmy for about 10 seconds. But from the profile, I could see it. So here's the thing, got the, here's the problem, really. And again, I know this makes me sound like a, like a prick.

4:00 Drew At least you know it.

4:01 Adam I sound like a prick, but I'm going to stand by it. Okay, here's the problem in this town, let's be honest.

4:09 Drew Among other things, yes.

4:10 Adam Everybody who does anything with a car, anyone who drives your car, other than you, is Hispanic. They're shorter breed. If they're not Hispanic, they're Asian. They're not a rangy breed. There's no West Africans or North Africans that drive. There's nobody from those tribes who come over here and play hoop. You know what I'm saying? They're not rangy. They're not a rangy group, the guys who park your car. They're even shorter. I'm going to look into it one day and try to figure out why all valets are 5'6 and below. But they are. You've never had a valet climb out of your car and have the guy tower over you. Ever? No. Usually when you open your car door, the guy comes up to the open car door. His head doesn't get higher than the roof of your car.

4:59 Drew Maybe they make it higher that way. It's just not uncomfortable for them.

5:03 Adam I got a few theories here. One is they're short cultures. Is it Asian or Hispanic? Shorter cultures, number one. Or just the crazy Vietnamese ones or something like that. They're shorter cultures, number one. Number two, maybe these guys, maybe this is sort of the the drainage ditch of roads. I mean the drainage ditch of jobs by the side of the road. You know what I mean? This is where you land. The tall guys, they got the corner offices, they're the executives, they're the movers and shakers.

5:31 Drew You're just hypothesizing basically sort of a Darwinistic theory that the alpha male includes a male that's larger and more imposing and therefore would get better jobs.

5:41 Adam They just had a study a couple of weeks back that said taller guys, and we all know taller guys, and by the way, whenever you do better with chicks, you do better in jobs, you do better in everything. You know what I mean?

5:52 Drew Like when they go That's primate behavior.

5:55 Adam Yeah, they do these studies where they go, everyone's sitting down, attractive women make on average more than unattractive, heavy set, of course. Better looking people get everything. They get better jobs and whatever. They did a study, short guys don't do as well. They don't make as much. It's 70 cents on the dollar to the tall guy. Maybe they all just end up parking cars.

6:18 Drew Could be.

6:18 Adam I got a lot of theories here. The point is, they're always short. You can agree on that.

6:24 Drew So what happened?

6:25 Adam What happened is, is now now had officially a midget went and picked my car. He actually, he didn't go through the door. He went in through the exhaust pipe.

6:33 Drew And of course, he had to adjust the seat.

6:34 Adam And when he pulled up, the seat was so far forward that I think he had to actually take bolts out of the tracks, re-drill it, re-tap it and slide it all the way. I didn't know it went that far forward.

6:45 Drew The steering wheel was behind the seat.

6:47 Adam And now it's become a pet peeve of mine. Yes, the headrest, actually he was using the visor as a headrest.

6:54 Drew Nice.

6:55 Adam The seat was making contact with the steering wheel. And he got out, he was sitting in the car and I could see it jammed all the way up there. And he was getting ready to climb out of the car. And this is my pet peeve, which I'm going to give a guy five bucks, he can slide the seat back. Or if you hop into a car and you have to jam the seat all the way up, figure you can go ahead and put it back to wherever it was. Or, by the way, give me a worst-case scenario to slide the seat all the way back.

7:21 Drew And you know, that's one thing, at least they're driving the car from somewhere when they parked it somewhere. Why do the guys that drive it from the car wash exit four feet over...

7:30 Adam Slide that seat all the way up, all the way up past the front bumper. If I got in an accident, the front of the seat be the first thing that made contact with the other car. It's that far forward. And so, yeah, if you slide the seat all the way back, well, worst-case scenario is a short guy climbs in, he has to scooch up, but when you got the long legs and the knobby knees, you can't get in.

7:50 Drew You can't get in even, yeah.

7:51 Adam So the guy had the seat all the way up, and I did the, he started to get out of the car, and my pet peeve had the five bucks in my hand. I said, hey, slide the seat back. And he was like, huh? What, what, what, what? I was like, the seat, slide the seat back. He didn't know what to say. He was like, you know what I was doing, and the crowd was gathering around us, and people were like, now it's starting to seem like a prima donna. You know, slide the seat back. So naturally grabs the wrong thing, everything reclines all the way back. And I was like, okay, get out of the car. Out of the car. So we got out and I just looked like a prick and had to slide the seat all the way back. Adam Rodriquez is here, by the way. Great to see you.

8:31 Adam Rodriguez Good to see you too. What's happening?

8:33 Adam It's just talking about the marvelous success of CSI Miami and my inability to find a tall valet.

8:43 Adam Rodriguez I was listening the other way in.

8:44 Adam They're not tall people. We need to start breeding them.

8:48 Adam Rodriguez Generally not. I am in the Hispanic category.

8:51 Drew You're rangey.

8:52 Adam Rodriguez I'm 6'1. That's not a common thing, I don't think.

8:55 Adam Have you ever had a guy, and LA is a town that runs off the car, and you're constantly throwing the keys to people when we go to the restaurant, wherever you go, and the guy pulls up, you can't even see him. They're shorter breed. What do you mean?

9:17 Drew The car parkers are a shorter breed, really.

9:19 Adam Rodriguez They're like jockeys. Jockeys tend to be short. Maybe that's one of the requirements. If you had applied for a job as a valet, maybe you wouldn't qualify. You're over-qualifying.

9:28 Adam They have an arm. It's like at Disneyland. Mickey's arm, if you go over this, you cannot drive a vehicle. But all I'm saying is, just slide the seat back. Or here's what I'm saying.

9:39 Adam Rodriguez Oh, you get pissed when they move the seat. They slide it all the way out.

9:42 Adam And then they slide out of the car, and then you have to stuff your ass into the car and then slide it back.

9:47 Adam Rodriguez Come on, you're making big bucks. Your car doesn't have one of those memory things. You press the button and the seat goes back to the original.

9:52 Adam It does not have the memory thing. Even if it did, you have it. Okay, here's all I'm saying. All valet parkers, and I know we have a lot of them listening to the show. But if you see a rangy, I'm trying to turd in there, here's what the professional valet does. When you size up the person who's got the tip money and is getting in the car, you see Dr. Ruth coming up at 49. You leave the seat where it is. Maybe throw a telephone book in there. You see the rangy Ace Corolla making his way toward the vehicle. You slide it all the way back. It's comical when you have to get a running start to get into the car.

10:33 Adam Rodriguez Imagine what Shaq has to go through.

10:35 Adam Oh, my God. He's got to go in through the... Well, he probably... What do you think he drives? A Hummer or something like that?

10:42 Adam Rodriguez Whatever he wants.

10:45 Adam Well, Adam, what's going on there, buddy boy?

10:47 Adam Rodriguez Nothing much, man. Just here to hang out with you guys again. Had a good time the last time.

10:51 Adam Yeah, what were we talking about? Baseball last time you were here? What was it?

10:57 Adam Rodriguez I'm sure that that was brought up somewhere in the conversation. Some baseball. We probably talked about that.

11:01 Adam That's good interviewing, by the way. Asking the guests what we talked about last time. Well, CSI Miami needs no real plug-in. It's doing very well, right?

11:10 Adam Rodriguez Yes, it's doing very well. We were the number one new show of last season. And now we're the number one show on Monday nights this year.

11:21 Adam Beating Monday night football?

11:23 Adam Rodriguez Beating Monday night football.

11:24 Adam What kind of pussies are out there living a one-hour crime drama, beat real head-to-head competition this way, football action. What's going on with this country? I blame the valets. All right.

11:35 Adam Rodriguez There we go.

11:37 Adam Monday nights, 10 o'clock on CBS. Everything's shot in Miami, right?

11:42 Adam Rodriguez No, it's not actually. We do the majority of it here.

11:44 Adam Really?

11:45 Adam Rodriguez Yeah, we go to Miami every three, four months. We go down there for a couple of weeks. Nice. And come back here.

11:51 Adam Wow. Are you on a stage out here?

11:53 Adam Rodriguez Yeah, we're on a sound stage down in Manhattan Beach.

11:57 Adam It's got to be rough splitting your time between Manhattan Beach and Miami.

12:01 Adam Rodriguez It ain't easy, baby. Somebody's got to do it, right?

12:04 Adam Sarah? You're 18?

12:07 Caller Yeah.

12:08 Adam What's up?

12:09 I have a question.

12:11 Caller Whenever me and my boyfriend have sex, we only do it when he wants to. And whenever I'm in the mood for having sex, he never wants to be always said an excuse.

12:20 Drew How many times is he asking for it as opposed to you?

12:27 Caller Well, he is normally the initiator.

12:30 Drew And how often is that?

12:33 Caller I'd say like four or five times.

12:35 Drew But okay, he initiates. And how many days a week is he initiating?

12:38 Caller Well, I'm only over here like three days a week, so two out of three days.

12:44 Adam All right, two out of three days he initiates, and you guys have sex.

12:48 Drew And is it the first two days every time? And then suddenly is it afterthought? You sort of tag on at the end?

12:54 Caller Well, like, can I give an example?

12:56 Drew Yes, please.

12:57 Caller Okay, yesterday, oh no, okay, today we had sex, and it was really short, and I didn't get anything out of it. And then an hour later I wanted to, and he said that he was in the mood, and now he won't. And I don't know, is that right?

13:14 Drew Maybe you're asking for the wrong thing.

13:15 Adam He should perform oral sex on you, right?

13:19 Drew Right?

13:21 Adam Does he do that?

13:23 Drew Okay, that's what's missing.

13:25 Adam Yeah.

13:25 Drew Because he may be done in terms of his ability to have sex again, intercourse, he may not be able to. And yet for you to say, hey, I need to have an orgasm or whatever, that's a reasonable request.

13:36 Adam Hey, Sarah, how old is he? 20. 20 should be able to bounce back from an orgasm. You know, being 20 is like an injury. You know, like, you turn your ankle, you roll your ankle when you're 50, you're on crutches for six months, you do it at 20, you tape it up, you're back in the game by the second half.

13:54 Drew If you look after the game, yeah.

13:56 Adam That's right.

13:57 Adam Rodriguez Have you tried giving him oral after that hour that you've waited in between sex maybe to get him going?

14:09 Drew No, well, I've tried. Really? Which is it?

14:13 Adam Which is it? You tried, right? Yeah, maybe if you ever ask a guy for oral sex?

14:20 Caller No, I mean, like, I'll try to get him, like, turn nine, and, like, want to have sex.

14:24 Drew Well, well, well, well, Sarah, Adam asked you a specific question.

14:27 Adam You never asked him for oral sex?

14:29 Caller No.

14:30 Drew How come?

14:32 Caller I don't really like it.

14:35 Adam You don't like it? You got a sister?

14:41 Drew Okay, so that's, so he has to be up for that.

14:44 Adam Does your orgasm come through regular sex, but not through oral sex?

14:50 Caller Yeah.

14:52 Drew Do you have orgasms? All the time.

14:56 Adam Rodriguez So, uh, somewhat just intercourse or masturbation?

15:02 Adam Oh, don't help the guest. They're cheating. Yeah, you have, you have, uh, you have orgasm through intercourse, right? Maybe this guy's not for you. Doesn't sound like you're in love with him. No, no.

15:20 Drew He's not keeping up properly.

15:22 Adam Rodriguez If you gotta ask this, I think you might.

15:24 Adam By the way, when you say, yeah, doesn't sound like you're in love with him. No. Then you're not in love. By the way, even when you're 18 and he's 20 and things aren't really working. By the way, here's the thing. Sexually, everything should be working no better than when you're 18 and 20. If you're having trouble sort of finding a rhythm or your girl going, I ask him for this, but he says no, he doesn't feel like it or something, that just means he's not that into it really. And you're probably not that into him either. It's just time to go your separate ways, right? Drew is a man of exquisite passion. Exquisite passion. He can't understand how this works. This is why Drew can't even go to a strip club. He cannot go because he's a man of such exquisite passion. He can't look at a woman's rear end for three hours whilst drinking wine coolers and then go home. He must rape. And he must be stopped before he rapes again. It's true that it's no fun for you. Is it? A strip club?

16:26 Drew No.

16:26 Adam Because of your extreme passion. Your passion ruins it for you. I mean, it's like would be like me taking a tour of a brewery and never get a beer, right?

16:38 Drew And literally knowing that your favorite beer is back home.

16:42 Adam Oh really? Yeah. You got some other bitch keeping it home on your wine? Are you kidding, Drew? Mics are hot. I can't believe you're saying that. Well, she heard that.

16:52 Adam Rodriguez His wife still listens.

16:54 Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

16:55 Adam Rodriguez Covering his ass.

16:59 Drew That is the truth.

17:00 Adam Rodriguez He's going to get some tonight.

17:03 Adam She listens, too.

17:04 Adam Rodriguez He's ready to go home now.

17:06 Adam But let me tell you something about Drew's wife. She is... It's like steroid testing in the NFL, which is... You don't know when she's listening, but you know when she isn't. That's why you've got to kiss ass all the time. She may not listen for a month, but then she'll listen three nights in a row and quiz Drew on it. Drew's caught off guard. Obviously, there's no way of knowing when she's listening or not. So it's the not knowing that makes you...

17:31 Drew I'm deadly serious about this.

17:32 Adam It puts you in constant ass-kissing mode.

17:35 Drew This is not ass-kissing.

17:37 Adam Thank you. All right, where the hell was Renee? Renee?

17:43 Hello?

17:45 Adam You're 22?

17:46 Caller Yeah.

17:47 Adam What's up?

17:48 Caller Well, when I was 11 years old, my dad molested me.

17:57 Adam Perfectly normal, perfectly healthy.

18:00 Caller But I mean... I hate his guts. I hate him. I want to kill him.

18:07 Drew Fine, a little rough, but we hate him, too.

18:09 Caller Come here and give me a hug!

18:14 Caller But my big brother, he's four years older than me, and he just... He insisted that I make amends with my dad and that I talk to him. And...

18:26 Drew Well, what amends do you have to make? That's the point.

18:34 Adam Rodriguez Well, I mean, when he's a big brother... Does he understand where it happened?

18:41 Drew Yes, you should for your sake, that it's better to make sense of all this in terms of your own emotional life, but to be around him again and have a relationship with him, I wouldn't do it unless you...

18:55 Caller I really don't want to.

18:57 Drew You don't want to, fine, you shouldn't have to, and it's not going to be good for you, you're going to have panic attacks and flashbacks, it's going to be a mess for you, but if you need to do it, it should be done with a therapist, with somebody who really could observe this and watch it for you. Renee, hold on a second.

19:10 Adam Now, your dad did this how long ago?

19:12 Caller I was 11.

19:15 Adam You were 11?

19:16 Caller Yeah, 11 years ago.

19:18 Adam Is it the kind of thing where he was a drug addict and now he's cleaned up, found Jesus and changed his life?

19:25 Caller He was never really a part of my life much.

19:28 Drew Renee, hold on.

19:29 Adam Your dad?

19:29 Drew Was he a drug addict at the time he did the molesting?

19:32 Caller If he was, I didn't know it.

19:34 Drew He's not in some sort of recovery now?

19:37 Caller I mean, he might have been. I know he was, he had an aggression problem. I know that.

19:43 Drew Your brother's not saying, geez, he was a heroin addict now he's in recovery, give him a chance.

19:47 Caller Oh, no. I know he's, everybody's saying he's grown up and that he's changed so much.

19:53 Adam Well, you know, you grow up, you stop molesting your kids. You put that behind you.

19:57 Drew How short-sighted of the daughter not to get over this. Come on, give me a break.

20:01 Adam We all made our youthful indiscretions. You finger-bang your kid.

20:05 Drew You have no obligation to make amends to him. He should try to make them to you. And even that, again, you shouldn't feel obliged to be face-to-face with this person. And not unless you were with, really, somebody's watching you and caring for you carefully.

20:18 Adam Rodriguez Yeah, and your brother should be doing his best to actually get to your father to apologize to you and try to make amends to him, not vice versa.

20:25 Adam Well, maybe he has. Has your father apologized to you?

20:31 Caller He won't even admit to it. He denies it in my own face.

20:35 Adam No, forget it.

20:37 Caller I mean, he tells me I'm lying and that I'm crazy. Yeah, I had a rough childhood, and my teenage years were pretty bad. What happened to your childhood? My mom and dad married and divorced twice. And, I mean, we got taken away from my mom the time we were too bad CPS because her house was too messy. And I mean...

21:01 Drew What are you talking about?

21:02 Adam Oh, my God.

21:03 Caller She wasn't exactly abusive or nothing.

21:07 Drew You're talking about dog and human and cat all mixed together, right?

21:10 Adam A lot of big crap salad going on over there.

21:13 Caller Yeah. I mean, it was pretty bad.

21:17 Adam All right, but wait a minute. Your mom had to be an addict, right?

21:21 Caller I don't know.

21:25 Adam I wonder when Renee is a kid. Your dad was shooting junk. Maybe. There's cat feces, a pyramid of cat feces that used to have to shovel out before we could open the front door. Oh, cat feces. I don't know. I used to find syringes around in the empty Jack Daniel bottles with...

21:45 Adam Rodriguez Building sandcastles.

21:47 Adam Yeah, that never... I don't know. This is a disaster.

21:50 Drew Renee, relax.

21:52 Adam Your family is a disaster.

21:54 Drew Focus on taking care of yourself. Do you work?

21:58 Caller Yeah, I manage a restaurant.

22:00 Adam Perfect. Don't have any kids.

22:02 Caller Oh, God, I'm six months pregnant already. I've been married for almost five years.

22:10 Adam Same guy, huh? Yeah. Alright, so you guys are going to have a kid. That's enough, though. Do you have any other kids?

22:19 Drew She's fine. Don't rock the boat here.

22:22 Adam Don't worry about it.

22:23 Drew This is as good an outcome as you could drove for. A stable relationship.

22:27 Adam Don't screw around. Listen, everybody, I know it's my message to tell everyone to tell their family to f off, but your family did horrible things to you. Yo them nothing. If your mom had lived in a goddamn habit trail because your mom was a junkie and had hamsters and rats and roaches and cats running all over the place to the point where they had to take you out and your dad felt you up when you were 11. But good. They're both off the Christmas card list.

22:59 Drew And if he or she is genuinely in recovery, they will understand that this was part of the destructive carnage of their disease and they will accept that. They prefer to have a relationship but they understand the disease.

23:09 Adam Meanwhile, you have your husband, you have a child on the way. You got that TGI. Fridays to manage. I'm trying to think. Where do you think she works? Renee? What kind of restaurant is it? What kind of restaurant?

23:27 Drew Jack in the Box.

23:28 Adam Does it have a clown?

23:30 Drew Or a bell?

23:31 Caller It's a fried chicken place.

23:35 Adam It's got a crazy name that we get a laugh out of?

23:37 Caller No.

23:38 Drew What's the name?

23:39 Caller I don't want to say the name because I don't want people I work with to know.

23:43 Adam It's the Colonel though, right?

23:45 Caller Oh no, the Colonel is the enemy.

23:47 Adam Okay, Popeyes. Popeyes.

23:51 Drew Why would they build?

23:52 Adam Popeyes. They got shrimp over there. They got lots of popcorn shrimp. Shouldn't there be a class action lawsuit against Popeyes or Colonel's any day now?

24:01 Drew For what?

24:01 Adam Just deep frying their spoons. That could be their own thing. I can see them having a board meeting. We deep fried everything that's come through the front door. Bob, I got it! Deep fried sporks! Keep talking, I'm listening. We take the spork, we roll it in batter, and we deep fry it. That way every bite of everything, even when you're eating the dessert, you're getting something deep fried. You're eating the potatoes, you're eating macaroni cheese, whatever it is, you get a little deep fried flavor on it. Drew, mark my word, shrimp flavored deep fried sporks. This is the next break through. It's the future of fast food. This is going to be huge. Alright, Adam Rodriquez is here tonight from CSI Miami. CBS Monday Nights 10 o'clock, number one show on Monday Night. We'll take ourselves a quick break. We'll be right back. There, buddy, it's Loveline and Adam. That's Dr. Drew. Dr. Drew, the world's worst radio host. He's talking. Okay, our guest is Adam Rodriquez from CSI Miami. Now, Chris, don't get him. Let's see how long this jackass stands out in the hall. Jesus Christ. Adam Rodriguez, CBS, Monday nights, 10 o'clock, CSI Miami. Drew's joined us now. It's great, great. Drew and I go out, you know, during the break, four-minute break, we get a cup of coffee, we hang out, we talk a little by the water cooler, we come back here, we have a little more of a conversation.

25:39 Drew When did the lights go on outside here?

25:41 Adam I had to listen. Drew goes on and has a lengthy conversation.

25:44 Drew I'm really sorry.

25:46 Adam Well, the stupidest doctor, everybody. The guests never know, because the guests are like, well, I guess the host out talking to me. This show couldn't have started it.

25:54 Drew Hey, you can't blame it on me.

25:56 Adam Not Adam's fault. I had to kick these guys out because they were talking about Mystic River. The crew didn't see the end and Adam saw the end and they had to discuss what happened at the end. And I said, you got to get out because I may want to see it. And then they went out and just...

26:09 Drew Stayed there.

26:10 Adam Did you guys go out to eat or just go out to the hall?

26:13 Drew Yeah, we wrote the end there.

26:15 Adam All right. You got squared away?

26:16 Drew Yeah, it's all set.

26:17 Adam Everything's good? You know, whenever I announce, don't give me the end of the movie. I never end up seeing that movie. We'll see this. Yeah. I'm going to see that master and come in there too.

26:27 Drew Yep, you got to see that one. That's crazy.

26:29 Adam Love that big stuff. Wow. Love that ocean stuff.

26:33 Drew Epic, unbelievable.

26:34 Adam It could be nothing, nothing hairier than back in the day, a few hundred years ago, just getting in one of those schooners and hitting the open sea, yeah?

26:42 Drew Just takes you, you're there.

26:43 Adam You're there.

26:44 Drew Remember the experience you had, I said what would it feel like to do these things that you really can't imagine until you get inside it like this.

26:51 Adam Bad times out there. You got a wooden ship, you're going to be by drunk guys.

26:55 Drew And they're hurling metal at you.

26:58 Adam Oh, cannonballs. Oh, I'll tell you, there's a handful of things historically that don't get it. The guys don't get enough credit for it. That's one of them. Those guys, they're the guys flying like the B-29s over Berlin. Around mid-40s there, just travel going everywhere. That doesn't sound like a great gig either.

27:18 Adam Rodriguez Right. Right.

27:18 Adam Like it's hairy enough just sitting in one of those planes and flying, just taking off and landing a hundred times. You know, now you're getting shot at. Imagine.

27:26 Drew Not just shot at, but I mean.

27:28 Adam You fly in an airplane and somebody stands up, pulls out a hat pin, the whole place panics, right? Now you got, instead you got enemy, you have Messerschmitts just passing by with like 40-millimeter cannons, just going, trying to drilling holes, stuff flying through the plane you're in. No problem.

27:45 Adam Rodriguez And your plane is filled with nothing but explosives.

27:47 Adam You're just sitting on top of a bunch of bombs of fuel. Yeah, the only thing you have more than bombs is fuel. These guys, we should never be done thanking them. Jessica? Yeah. So you got to put things in perspective. But I'm still mad at the valet Parkers that have my sports car seat up too close. That's why these guys liberated this country. They made it free so I could get pissed at valets. Jessica?

28:13 Yeah.

28:14 Adam You're 16?

28:15 Caller Uh-huh.

28:16 Adam What's up?

28:17 Caller First of all, I love you guys. But anyway, I have a question. My boyfriend is 20 years old and for the beginning of our relationship, he thought I was 19 because we met in college and stuff like that and we started going out. And I actually like slept with him like I was a virgin before that and I slept with him and he thought I was 19 and stuff and it was all going good. And then last week he found out I was 16 because my sister told him and he got... That bitch.

28:52 Adam How old is your sister?

28:53 Caller She's 18.

28:55 Adam Did she know not to tell him or she do it on purpose?

28:58 Caller Well, see, I've gone out with a lot of guys before when they thought I was older and my sister never said anything but this relationship went really fast and I...

29:09 Adam Well, how did you meet the guy? What are you doing in college at 16?

29:13 Caller I've called you guys before. I've been taking college classes since I was 13.

29:18 Drew I remember Jessica.

29:20 Adam I was in college just taking junior high classes.

29:23 Adam Rodriguez To meet older guys or because you really want to go study?

29:25 Drew No, no, didn't we talk to you like a year and a half ago or something like that?

29:27 Caller Well, no, actually the spring. It was the whole trick-or-treating and stuff like that.

29:31 Adam Rodriguez Oh, yeah.

29:32 Adam Pulling her hair out. Yeah.

29:33 Adam Rodriguez You guys really met her?

29:35 Drew Yeah, she's called before.

29:36 Adam Well, we talked or we didn't meet her. We tried to not meet anyone who calls the show.

29:40 Drew The age of consent is 16 in Minnesota, right?

29:43 Caller I think it's 18. I'm not sure.

29:45 Drew I've got a piece of paper that's I don't know if it's outdated.

29:47 Adam Rodriguez Are you calling it from Minnesota?

29:49 Drew 16 is what it says in my little handy book here.

29:52 Adam Well, that's good. So what's the deal?

29:55 Caller Okay, the whole deal is that he, after he found out my age, he was all like confused himself for like two days and then he went back to normal and then that got me thinking that he's just in it for sex because he has sex a lot.

30:16 Drew Yeah, but he's 21. Listen, Jessica, she's processing like a 16-year-old, not like a 20-year-old. That's the problem here. A 20-year-old male is having a relationship because of sex, period. That's all 20-year-old males. That doesn't mean he doesn't care about you very much.

30:31 Adam Yeah, he just wants to pound the back out of you, really, is what 20-year-old guys try to do.

30:39 Adam Rodriguez Plus, in his mind, even though you're telling him now you're 16, you're still 19 to him because that's how he's gotten to know you.

30:46 Drew It's got to be weird because he thinks a 16-year-old, when he was 16, he was a junior in high school.

30:50 Adam She's in college. Plus, she's calling from Minnesota.

30:53 Drew But it sounds like he's come around, though. He's okay with it, right?

30:55 Adam He's come around. He gave it some thought. And by the way, I like when guys take a couple days to think about something. That's just their nutsack getting filled with semen. That's what the two days is. And then he agreed to bang the bejesus out of me again. He gave it some thought. He did a little soul-searching. Checked with the cops. At the end of the 48 hours, he decided to bang me again. He's a big man right there.

31:19 Drew But Jessica, just go slower. Again, 16, even though you're cognitively super-developed, your intellect is super-developed, your emotional systems may not be keeping up quite where they should be. In terms of who you're... What?

31:34 Caller Yeah, that was the whole deal. The reason why I actually had sex with him was because I was really adamant about not having sex, but then I moved out of my house because my mother was kind of abusive and stuff like that, and I moved into an apartment. So I was really emotionally fragile, and that's how I started having sex.

31:52 Drew Oh, boy. Where are you going to school?

31:55 Caller I go to the University of Minnesota.

31:56 Adam Is that a Golden Gopher?

31:59 Caller Yes, the Golden Gophers, and there are no such thing as Golden Gophers, I know.

32:04 Adam Yeah, what's up with that? All right, listen, that's a rodent, by the way.

32:09 Drew Yeah, but with sharp teeth.

32:11 Adam That's all I'm saying.

32:15 Drew Beavers are the same thing, they just live near the water.

32:17 Adam Beavers are noble, though. They chop trees down, they make dams, they have those flat tails they do that panning with, they have a nice tail. Yeah, Gophers just eat roots, and farmers shoot at them and stuff. They don't do anything. You don't want any animal that burrows. Yeah, he has a mascot. He digs a hole, climbs in the ground.

32:38 Drew Mighty moles.

32:40 Adam Yeah, the only thing, I'll tell you, the only thing, the only one is a badger. Badger is a den, it's a mean animal there.

32:46 Drew Don't they take over other animals' holes, though?

32:48 Adam They kick them out, yeah.

32:50 Drew That's tough. That's okay.

32:52 Adam Yeah, they hold Jack. I rented that. Yeah, badgers are, badgers are okay. I'd like to talk to the people. Drew, you had the Lord Jeffs for your school?

33:02 Drew Oh, yes.

33:03 Adam Adam, did you go to... The Lord Jeff?

33:07 Adam Rodriguez No, I had the Rams.

33:08 Adam Colorado?

33:09 Adam Rodriguez No, New York.

33:11 Adam Which one?

33:12 Adam Rodriguez School called Clarkstown North.

33:14 Adam That's fine. Rams. And here's the other thing, too. People go, oh, there's too many Rams. Who cares? They're all good. You never have enough bears or Rams or tigers or... Yeah, anything like that. You don't have to go gopher just to be unique. You're putting gold in front of it. It's like putting gold in front of the word crap. Hey, the gold... They're saying crap. This is golden crap. That's just more crap. Did we help her, Drew?

33:44 Drew I think so. We want to get back to real quick.

33:50 Adam She's our buddy because she called the show before? Jessica?

33:56 Drew What are we saying? We're saying he probably does care about you a great deal. He's a little freaked out about this, but he sounds like he's adjusted to it. It seems like you're within the age of consent. You need to go slower. I understand it's because you're vulnerable to the guy going. Take it easy. He probably does care a great deal about you, but he is interested in Sarah because he's a 20-year-old male.

34:15 Caller I shouldn't leave him or anything like that.

34:18 Drew You might want to have more talks with him about how he's feeling and what the sort of priorities are in this relationship for him, and you too express your own feelings.

34:27 Adam I would guess if Jesco...

34:28 Adam Rodriguez Does that really change the interest in sex from 20 to when I was coming in?

34:32 Drew When that doesn't ever change, does it?

34:35 Adam You start losing your will to live. It's coming for me.

34:41 Adam Rodriguez Then what do you look for at that point?

34:43 Adam The grim reaper.

34:43 Adam Rodriguez I'm going to look for death.

34:46 Adam It's all right. It's a relief. You're at peace. You're finally at peace.

34:52 Adam Rodriguez I like when they do that. You're just looking for anything.

34:55 Adam Yeah, you see the light. You start spreading. Then you hear those words. No, now it's night and time. F you.

35:03 Drew I said no.

35:04 Adam And you dive. You look at that light. It's like when the elevator doors are closing and you're running late for a meeting. You don't wait for the next one. You stick your hand in there, knock it open. It's like when people do that too. Now you've got 12 people all pissed off. Not going to be another elevator. Brian? It's an honor.

35:25 It's a pleasure. This is the first time I've ever called a radio show and gotten through.

35:31 Drew I recognize this voice somehow.

35:35 Adam Watch out. Drew recognizes your voice.

35:37 Drew You're gay.

35:40 No, actually I'm not gay.

35:42 Adam Go ahead, Brian.

35:45 Here's the situation. I've been listening to your show for a while. Dr. Drew is always really quick when somebody has a compulsive addiction to say, OK, you need help, go get treatment, etc. However, on the kinky sex side, it's like, hey, kinky sex, cool, whatever, do what you feel like, go right ahead.

36:12 Drew But by the way, I don't think we've ever, we've said fine, whatever, but it means something.

36:17 Adam Yeah, we always say it means something. But we just don't think we're going to be able to talk you out of it.

36:22 Drew Yeah, we don't judge you for it, we don't talk you out of it, we say hey, it means something.

36:25 Adam You like to watch chicks in heels squash bugs while you beat off. It's going to be hard to talk you out of that.

36:32 Drew But it means something.

36:32 Adam The weirder it is, the harder it is to talk you out of it.

36:35 Drew And the more it means.

36:36 Adam Right. Alright, so what are you into?

36:39 Okay, well, I'm into something known as infantilism, which basically means you get off acting like a baby or treating somebody else like a baby.

36:54 Adam Which side of the diaper are you on? Oh, you're both sides? Either side. You're on your side of the diaper?

37:00 Either side would be cool.

37:02 Adam No preference?

37:04 No preference. But, you know, I've never actually had the opportunity to do it with a female. The one woman that I ever brought this up to was my ex-wife kind of probably contributed to the...

37:26 Adam Rodriguez How old are you, man?

37:27 I'm 23. Seriously.

37:29 Drew Hang on, Brian, we gotta take a break here. Let's continue. We gotta dig here a little bit.

37:35 Adam I can tell you're an intelligent guy. You do something with computers or something like that.

37:41 Drew He reminds me of James. Remember James, the dog guy?

37:44 Adam No, his dog was effing him. That was a twist. That's what made it okay.

37:49 Drew Doesn't he feel like that same caller?

37:50 Adam Yeah, these guys are always the same guy. They're smart guys. They have high IQs. They're useless. They can't figure out how to make any money or get laid with them. And by the way, now hold on a second, Brian. Well, here's what you get. You get a guy with a super high IQ that doesn't translate into a nickel or an ounce of poon tang and now you have an angry man. You see what I'm saying? Who has to run around explaining how much smarter he is than all the other guys who are getting laid more and making more money. You see what I'm saying? This could be Brian. But now let's have a sort of a good sense of humor in our own. Yes, we've got that at least. Adam Rodriquez is here tonight from CSI Miami. Monday night at 10 o'clock on CBS. We'll take a quick break. And then when we get back we'll get the bomb of Brian and the playing. And it's not just playing a five-year-old. It's playing a baby. Which means poo and pee. Oh, that's going to be good after this. Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. This week, we got Pink and Kathy Griffin, dear friend, Puddle of Mud, Rob Schneider coming in next week, Link 1A2, and oh, all sorts of big names, thanks to producer and Adam Rodriquez, speaking of big names in here tonight, CSI Miami, Monday nights on CBS, 10 o'clock. And let's, I love all that. And Drew, you ever watch shows like that, that do all that forensic stuff, all that autopsy stuff, all that stuff? It's good stuff. I like that stuff.

39:33 Drew Yeah, it's thought provoking.

39:35 Adam Yeah, it's kind of nice. I mean, it's kind of nice that we've moved that way, you know, from viewing standards too, or viewing habits too, of people kind of interested in the technical side.

39:46 Adam Rodriguez Yeah, it's pretty amazing stuff. I mean, the way that they are able to track down and, you know, prove, you know, who done it these days is...

39:54 Adam They do all that. They do all that. And then I'm sitting home getting drunk watching 20-20 Friday night. I got to see that guy Durst whose wife was missing and then his best friend was missing. And then he dismembers his neighbor. And he's like, yeah, we got to let him walk. Yeah. Yeah, it's great. It's a great story.

40:15 Drew I accidentally killed a guy and then had to come apart because he freaked out.

40:18 Adam Yeah, I was like that. I was like that too. Like when people go, what happened? Well, I showed up. He was drunk. He started threatening me. He lunged at me. So I shot him. And then what? Then I had to dismember his body and throw it in a lake. Well, okay, I'm with you up and you know.

40:37 Drew And I can't remember what I was doing because I was too loaded.

40:39 Adam I'm with you on the whole self-defense part. And tell the part we start actually hacking the guy's limbs off him and toss him in a lake. And then people go, well, I thought no one would believe me. And then my answer is, I don't, you're smart to try to get away with it. And here's the deal.

40:56 Adam Rodriguez He got away with it.

40:57 Adam He did. But here's the whole thing.

40:59 Adam Rodriguez But after the wife.

41:01 Adam They don't know where she is. And that's everything too. It's like when they do that whole thing where they go like, well, the woman's first wife died, the first husband died, a drowned out in the lake, no witnesses, and then the second one died, and then the third one died. Now they're looking into the fourth one. Go ahead and assume the first three had something to do with her. By the way, speaking of patterns. But here's the thing. As a criminal, once you make your move to get away, then you're guilty. That's what I'm like. Once you're OJ once you got the cash and the Richard Nixon mask and you're heading for the border, you're now officially guilty.

41:35 Drew Yeah, there's really no other explanation.

41:37 Adam Yeah, like here's the thing. You got a choice to make. If Adam and I, let's just say nothing gay, nothing gay goes on, but we get along good after the after. How about you come over? We blow a doobie. How about that?

41:53 Drew You can't see that. I knew there was a gay editor to this whole thing.

41:57 Adam We blow a J over at the Ace Man's place after the show and we get in a little argument over CSI Vegas versus CSI Miami.

42:09 Drew He blows you and he's embarrassed and he's got to do something with you. It gets ugly.

42:12 Adam Rodriguez This doesn't involve wearing diapers.

42:14 Drew No, no, we'll talk about that later.

42:16 Adam You lunge at me with a fireplace poker. I turn it on you, you land on it.

42:20 Adam Rodriguez Why do I have to die?

42:21 Adam I got it, well, because I'm telling the story. I mean, I got a host tomorrow, too.

42:25 Adam Rodriguez You did me a favor.

42:26 Adam I got to, that's right. I got to make a decision at that part. Do I dismember the body or do I call the police and say, hey, horrible accident slash tragedy happened here? Once I go the dismemberment route, there's no going back on that road. Now, I have to hope I get away with it. If I then get caught after dismemberment, now I'm guilty. Let's just go ahead and do it that way. Yeah? Yeah. All right, Drew, what do you want to do?

42:48 Drew I want to run out of time.

42:49 Adam I want to talk to Brian.

42:50 Drew I want to run out of time? I want to run out of time.

42:51 Adam Well, it's just Adam lunched me with the poker.

42:54 Drew What am I supposed to do?

42:54 Adam Just lie there?

42:55 Drew He called Colin to defend myself.

42:57 Adam Rodriguez I drove around the in-your-trunk for three days while you thought about it.

42:59 Drew So, Brian, what do you do when this infantilizes state?

43:02 Adam Rodriguez Oh, yeah.

43:03 Oh, jeez. Pretty much everything. Everything, well, just about everything you could possibly.

43:12 Drew Do you cry?

43:14 Actually, no. No, I don't. I don't do that.

43:16 Drew You pee and poo.

43:17 Yeah.

43:18 Adam Jesus Christ. I'll tell you that.

43:20 Drew Do you have sex with the person?

43:22 I haven't. Well, like I said, I haven't had that opportunity.

43:26 Drew But that's part of the fantasy.

43:28 That's part of the fantasy. Yeah, that is part of the fantasy.

43:30 Drew Does the pee and poo figure into the fantasy or is it just...

43:33 Yeah, it figures into the fantasy.

43:36 Adam Oh, I know, but hold on.

43:37 Adam Rodriguez This is all by yourself? You said you hadn't done this with anybody.

43:39 Drew No, he wants to do it. It's from...

43:41 It's a fantasy that I have that I would like to do with other people. There are a couple other people I have met online that have mentioned to me their lives in the situation and blah, blah, blah.

43:57 Drew Are they female?

43:58 Female. Always female.

44:02 Adam He's no weirdo, Drew. Come on, buddy.

44:04 Adam Rodriguez Is this something that you've done on your own?

44:06 I can tell you from doing the research on this that it's like half the people who do this stuff are in fact gay, but I'm not.

44:16 Adam All right. Now, Adam brings up a good question, which is you have gotten into the diaper, right?

44:23 Right.

44:24 Adam And you do that alone?

44:26 Right.

44:27 Adam And you duke yourself and then you beat off?

44:32 Caller All right.

44:33 Adam I do it in the other order. You duke in the shower. Let it all go. Yeah. Now what do you think causes this, Brian?

44:48 You know, I actually, you were right when you said before, you know, I'm like one of those guys with high IQ that likes to say, you know, how smart I am and everything. I actually have a clinical degree in psychology, kind of a clinical psychology focus. And probably I would say what caused this is probably when I was being toilet trained, I was a rough toilet training and my parents, you know, you know, weren't...

45:20 Adam They didn't do a good job with you?

45:22 Drew Do you have any memories of something, any standout memories, recurrent dreams or anything?

45:26 You know, like when I was three or, actually it must have been when I was four that, you know, I was in my bedroom and there were some diapers, you know, sitting in the closet of my room and I grabbed one, put it on and, you know, I think my...

45:45 Drew Did something happen to go in your family at that point? Were they falling apart or something or going away?

45:49 Yeah, there's always kind of an underlying stress going on in my family, you know, pretty much throughout my childhood.

45:57 Adam All right, so here's the question then. You have this, which it's going to make it hard for you to find a mate. I mean, it just, let's be straightforward here. You're going to have a hard time finding a good woman.

46:09 Drew That goes along with that.

46:10 Adam And if she does go along with it, then she's going to be the kind of person you want to marry and raise a family with. So I would suggest a guy like Brian try to break himself of that.

46:18 Drew Yeah, I think you find other ways to be intimate. Once you got going down the fetish path, you start relying on the fetish as a way of being sexual.

46:25 Adam That's what I'm going to do.

46:25 Drew And he's going to have to contain, he's going to have to keep it that way.

46:27 Adam I'm going to do a whole potty training thing for adults, where I re-potty train them.

46:31 Drew It's pretty clear trauma.

46:32 Adam Rodriguez Brian, do you have problems getting girls otherwise?

46:35 Drew We gotta go to Brian.

46:36 Adam Rodriguez Oh, he's gone?

46:37 Adam I'm going, I'm going to go with yes.

46:38 Drew Yeah, he seems to have a little trouble. Trauma again, trauma survivorship is what it's all about.

46:43 Adam Try to beat it.

46:43 Drew Regression in the face of trauma.

46:45 Adam Alright, get over it. We'll be back. Once in a while Anderson goes like, three, two, one, go. And then everyone's like, go! It just means something happened. Hey, good times. Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. Adam Rodriquez is here tonight from CSI Miami on CBS. Ten o'clock on Monday nights. The number 1 show on Monday night. Thank you very much. And tomorrow night, Puddle of Mud is going to be in here. And then Pink, who did a very impressive job singing at the AMAs tonight. Good pipes, that girl. All over the place, by the way. Pink was everywhere about two years ago, three years ago, and then sort of got a little under the radar and then pow! Now, she's coming back now, we think about like Britney Spears, doing this, doing that. You think to yourself, Jesus Christ, don't they got to be miserable just being sort of everywhere at once? I was watching this over, Jimmy was hosting the American Music Awards tonight, so I was over there watching. And you know, the whole like, you see these Britney Spears, big flashy opening with all the choreographed this and that, and you think that's not walking out and winging it. And that means you got to get there, you got to rehearse, there's all these tech rehearsals, there's all this choreography. I mean, it's not just the kind of thing we just blow in, wave to the crowd, blow out again.

48:30 Drew They're probably already doing that stuff on their tours or something, you know, that's just some scene of one of their tour performances.

48:36 Adam I'm sure there's variations of it.

48:38 Drew They still have to rehearse and stuff.

48:40 Adam Yeah, it just seems like a royal pain in the ass. I'd be a horrible one. That whole choreographing stuff, I'd always be like, we'll get out there, it'll come to us.

48:52 Adam Rodriguez We'll freestyle, we'll get out of there.

48:54 Drew That is you, boy. That is you.

48:55 Adam It'll be fine. It's going to be good.

48:58 Drew Who wrote this crap? I'm not going to do this.

49:00 Adam Remember we did the, what was it, Teen Choice Awards? Who are we going out there with?

49:07 Drew Daisy Fuentes.

49:09 Adam And Daisy's like, we're all standing behind and about ready to go out. And she's like, well, what are we going to do? And I'm like, well, we're not going to do what's on the teleprompter. She goes, what do you mean? And I said, well, we'll just, you know, we'll do our own thing out there. We'll wing it. And she's like, I want to do what's on the teleprompter. I said, no, no. I said, listen, Daisy, 50 years from now, aren't you going to tell people you just went out there and just winged it? And she goes, I'm worried about tomorrow. And I thought, yeah, it's true, because 50 years from now, well, it'll be dead or it'll matter. Tomorrow, when people are telling you how much you sucked, that's more important.

49:48 Drew So what happened was we get out there, we're introducing the best love scene in the film and Adam goes, yeah, I just want everyone to know, I personally masturbated every one of these scenes. Teen Choice Awards.

49:59 Adam Rodriguez Oh, that's great.

50:01 Adam That's back when it was racy. It's the older Teen Choice, that's 18, 19. I have a good time. Well, it's been a while since we...

50:12 Adam Rodriguez Did they clap or were they like, what are you talking about, man?

50:14 Drew Oh, no, they were talking about it.

50:15 Adam Rodriguez Yeah, I think they had an idea, they probably went for that.

50:19 Adam Teen Choice Awards. Oh, David?

50:22 Drew You haven't been back since?

50:23 Adam It's been a while, it's been a while. I'll be back to mark my words. If I have to bum rush the stage, I'll be back, me and Fuentes together again.

50:31 Drew We did it again, didn't we?

50:33 Adam We did it like three years, I think. Now it's a big deal that Teen Choice Awards are going to get rid of us. We got to get rid of Corolla and Drew and get this thing back on the charts. David?

50:44 Hello?

50:45 Adam You're 17?

50:46 Yeah.

50:47 Adam What's up?

50:47 I'm a long time listener, first-time caller, and my question is, my girlfriend is 15 and she still has her hymen, she's a virgin. And I just wondered, is it possible for her to use a female condom when we have sex?

51:02 Drew That's actually a great question. Interesting question. I imagine it's possible, but it might be more difficult and for some women it might be nearly impossible.

51:14 Adam When you get into that hymen, I mean...

51:17 Drew How far in?

51:18 Adam Well, let's look at it this way. Let's say you got a waste paper basket, you know, not a garbage can, but an office can, you know, like you'd have in your office, right? And you want to put a trash bag liner, a small trash bag in it. That's the female condom, inside the thing. Where does it run into the hymen? If the hymen is there, so like having some balled up newspaper at the bottom of it, doesn't quite get down that low?

51:42 Drew No, let's see, it's like, this is the opening, here's where the hymen is, and through here. It's right there.

51:46 Adam But you get to it.

51:47 Drew Yeah, you get to it pretty fast.

51:49 Adam What knuckle am I up to? First knuckle?

51:51 Drew Yeah, first couple knuckles.

51:52 Adam First couple knuckles. Wow. I've never felt one of those before.

51:56 Adam Rodriguez It's like cellophane.

51:58 Adam Yeah? Is that what it feels like?

51:59 Adam Rodriguez Oh, I don't know. I've actually never been with a virgin.

52:01 Adam Yeah, me neither. Hey, David?

52:03 Adam Rodriguez Yeah?

52:05 Adam Well, I probably have been with a virgin, I just didn't get to nail him, you know what I mean? I probably just like grabbed a boob or something.

52:11 Adam Rodriguez Yeah, yeah. Well, I mean.

52:13 Adam So, yeah, why do you want to use that female condom anyway? That just sounds like a, like, it's just like a horrible, horrible plan.

52:20 Adam Rodriguez Yeah, why go through the hassle, man?

52:21 Adam Yeah, why don't you just put a condom on?

52:24 Well, they're just, they seem stronger because they're made out of latex and I just didn't want to have any problems with it.

52:31 Drew No, no, no. You, they, they just get.

52:34 Adam Why do they make them out of sandal soles?

52:36 Drew I thought they were made out of latex or polyurethane. But me as a man, you just use a regular Trojan condom and just, just do, do what's simple and effective before you get into the fancy stuff.

52:47 Adam Okay.

52:48 Drew Because those, those things are kind of hard to use.

52:50 Adam Why do you guys gonna have sex? And by the way, yeah.

52:52 Drew It's gonna be weird for her too, first time when you use a female condom.

52:55 Adam And by the way, it like, your first time isn't weird enough. You're trying to, trying to essentially pack a trash can liner in your vagina. Yeah.

53:05 Drew Didn't she say, he says also she's 15.

53:07 Adam Yeah. Maybe too young.

53:08 Drew Maybe just wait it out.

53:10 Adam David, give her, give her a couple of, a couple of days. Yeah.

53:13 Adam Rodriguez They're not gonna wait. Come on.

53:14 Adam David, you gotta wait, buddy. How long you been with her?

53:17 Adam Rodriguez Yeah, right.

53:19 Caller Going on nine months, I think.

53:22 Adam Well, David's a little spazzy, too, right? You're a virgin yourself, right, David?

53:26 Adam Rodriguez Yeah.

53:27 Adam Okay. I can hear that in your voice. You kids just take it slow.

53:33 Thanks.

53:34 Adam All right. Good times.

53:34 Yeah.

53:35 Adam Yeah. Oh, that's good. That female condom's horrible. That, that, the dental, that, the dental damn.

53:40 Adam Rodriguez I couldn't imagine going through that on your first time.

53:43 Drew And then keep the morning after pill handy and, and, or better yet, get her on the birth control pill before you have sex.

53:48 Adam And picture, the female, getting the female condom going is like when you pull the draw string out of your sweatpants and you're trying to get it back in there and it's taking you way, way too long. You start getting frustrated. The lights on and stuff. You know, the, the worse than the, the female condom's the dental damn. Remember this disaster, girl? It's a, it's a piece of latex.

54:09 Drew What's a dental damn?

54:11 Adam See that?

54:11 Drew Yeah.

54:12 Adam You take these, these young guys. Dental damn. You're lucky. You want to be on this.

54:17 Adam Rodriguez They just swallowed in my neighborhood. I don't know what this dental damn is all about.

54:23 Drew To use on girls.

54:24 Adam Well, girls could use it on girls, too.

54:26 Drew Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's to be used upon girls.

54:29 Adam Sheet of latex that you just peel off, probably like, you know, when you buy the cheese that's already processed.

54:36 Drew Yeah, or the, or the cut deli stuff. Or the fruit rolls.

54:38 Adam Yeah, fruit rolls. And you roll that thing up and you just put it over the infected area, this, known as the vagina. And then you just have at it like you're, like you're raping your car tire. Come on.

54:55 Drew Who the hell used that?

54:56 Adam You're like, you're going down in a galosh.

54:58 Adam Rodriguez If you use that call in police, I got to hear about this.

55:03 Adam It sounds like you're spreading things like, baby, you must be licking the latex.

55:10 Drew Cut the tip off and then cut along the long axis and then you roll it out, see? Imagine that.

55:15 Adam Rodriguez And then you're putting, you're licking the condom, basically.

55:19 Adam At a certain point, don't you, just dance while I beat off.

55:22 Adam Rodriguez Yeah.

55:23 Adam Like at a certain point, it doesn't take much, by the way, for me to get to that threshold of, you just dance, I'll beat my meat, I'll give you 20 bucks, everyone's happy. We don't have to cut up the condom.

55:37 Swiss Army, I guess that'll work.

55:39 Adam Yeah, Jesus. That dental dam never caught on, by the way.

55:43 Drew I wonder why.

55:44 Adam It's always funny when, because, you know, during the whole AIDS thing, all the healthcare people say, well, we have to use a dental dam. They must have known that no one's ever used it.

55:52 Drew No, no, they were very serious about it.

55:53 Adam They were serious about it, but no one else was.

55:55 Drew They did not think that people wouldn't do it. And then now Trojan, I've been working for them for the last few months. They're trying to come up with something that's tasty or taste something to make it reasonable.

56:05 Adam Rodriguez What's the, what's, what are the chances of getting an STD or giving a woman oral sex?

56:12 Drew Same, same as, well, Coastal Services is touching.

56:16 Adam Yeah, yeah, it's not, not for like, not like HIV, though.

56:19 Drew No, it's hard to get HIV.

56:21 Adam And what's hepatitis, maybe?

56:22 Adam Rodriguez Easy to get, harder, eh.

56:24 Adam Certain things, certain kind of blood blocks are on.

56:25 Drew Hard to get, easy to get herpes, easy to get syphilis, easy to get gonorrhea in the throat.

56:28 Adam Yeah. That's not good. Good times, huh?

56:30 Drew Yeah, good times, yeah.

56:31 Adam Nick?

56:32 Yeah, hey, man.

56:33 Adam You're 14, what's up?

56:35 Um, yeah, I have a marijuana addiction. I just want to know what's the best way to, you know, get past that, break it, and all that.

56:41 Drew Well, it's, it's a chronic illness that you've sort of triggered here, and having done so at a young age, it becomes even more important that you deal with it in a very systematic and appropriate way. And you've got to get involved with people who use it. Well, you live in Chicago, you live in a big city, you want to look for a psychiatrist who has experience with addiction medicine, or call an addiction medicine program.

57:03 Adam You know, the diaper guy was calling from the Chicago area, and he was a therapist, I think.

57:08 Drew So, I had some training.

57:10 Adam Well, I'm saying, you guys hook up, he's got a roller skate, you've got a key.

57:14 Drew Here's a, here's the cure-side approach. It is, call AA locally, ask for MA meetings, marijuana anonymous, go to one of those meetings, and ask for referrals for doctors that are used to dealing with this, and someone will help you get through it. But it's going to be something you're going to have to contend with for quite some time in terms of managing the disease of addiction.

57:30 Adam Rodriguez How much do you smoke? I mean, what's your, what do you consider an addiction?

57:33 Oh, well, like every other day.

57:37 Adam Every other day?

57:38 Drew Since you were how old? Since you were how old at the start? Oh, when I was 11. You were 11. And you do it every day if you could, right? Yeah, it's a daily thing, and they can't stop, no matter how much he wants to stop. No way.

57:54 Adam It's weird, though, to have any 14-year-old telling us about an addiction to marijuana.

57:59 Drew Well, it's kind of nice, actually, because most of my heroin addicts started with pot about 11 to 14, and they don't deal with it, and it gets going, and they run the course of usual marijuana addiction, which it stops working down the road. They start looking for other solutions to that. They find their way to speed or heroin or something, and then pow!

58:14 The only reason I really want to deal with this is because my parents' religion and all that.

58:22 Drew Well, listen, whatever motivates you, deal with it, but it's not a religious thing. It's a biological disorder that you've triggered, and that's it. It has to be dealt with, and it's an each treatment. It does not get better by itself. It will get better for periods of time sometimes, but will not stay better, and the consequences progress with time. When you start at 8 to 11, and Robert Downey is a great classic example, someone starts pot when they're 8 to 11. That is that story.

58:46 Adam What are you saying, he had a problem with drugs?

58:50 Drew I think there's something said about that.

58:52 Adam Now what is the deal? Is he not doing drugs now? He's just weird, right?

58:56 Drew I haven't talked to him in a while.

58:57 Adam There's a handful of guys out there.

58:58 Adam Rodriguez He's getting married, I think. I saw something on TV the other day.

59:01 Drew Getting married again?

59:01 Adam Rodriguez A few times.

59:02 Adam Getting married, yeah.

59:04 Drew Is he remarrying his old man?

59:05 Adam You've got your Robert Downey's, you've got your David Arquette's. He produced the movie. You've got your Andy Dix. You've got your guys out there that you can't, at a certain point you don't know if they're just nuts or they're effed up on drugs or they actually stopped. They seem better when they were doing the drugs.

59:20 Drew Don't encourage them.

59:22 Adam Right. Robert's a dear, dear friend, actually, he's been on the show a few times. Even called me at home once. I don't know what he wants. For what? What did he want?

59:29 Drew That scares me.

59:29 Adam Something. I think he wanted to score.

59:32 Caller As they say, out the gate by eight, in the spoon by noon, back again by ten.

59:40 Adam That's what they say. It's got to be nice. You go in the joint, they release you, out the gate by eight, come on by eight.

59:50 Drew That's the old brother. That singing detective is supposed to be great.

59:53 Adam Oh yeah. His talent, no doubt about it. Katie?

1:00:01 Drew Yeah.

1:00:02 Adam Hey, you're 20. What's going on?

1:00:05 Caller I was recently diagnosed with endometriosis, and they let me know that one of the side effects was pain in the pelvis during sexual intercourse. And so every time I have sex, it's just really painful. And I was wondering if you guys knew of any way that this could be relieved.

1:00:26 Adam You got to rub coke on your cooch.

1:00:28 Drew Was two things.

1:00:29 Adam That's the only way.

1:00:30 Drew Other than that.

1:00:32 Adam That's the only way he could deal with those patients if they just hold still, as he says.

1:00:35 Drew My first question is why wasn't your endometriosis treated? Because if that's controlled, the pain will go away.

1:00:40 Steve, I have a really bad case.

1:00:42 Caller It's growing up around my spine. I have it all over my uterus. They went in and...

1:00:48 Drew Why wasn't it treated?

1:00:50 Caller Well, they just found out about it. They did a surgery in December and they couldn't take it all out at once. And they're doing another one because I have cysts again.

1:00:59 Adam Were you ever molested?

1:01:00 Caller No, I was not ever molested.

1:01:04 Drew You sure?

1:01:04 Caller No, I wasn't.

1:01:07 Drew Well, because that's the other way that women get unexplained pelvic pain that can't be controlled. No, I'm sure. It's a very, very common way, in fact, that that happens. And that's why... The reason we jumped on that is why are you calling if you're having your endometriosis aggressively treated because that's obviously the treatment for your pain.

1:01:24 Adam Let me ask you a trick question. Hold on, hold on. Katie, Katie, listen to me. Were you ever not molested? Aha. Thought I could trick her.

1:01:38 Drew Nice try.

1:01:41 Adam So, anyway, Drew, what you need to do?

1:01:42 Drew You need to continue to focus on the treatment with endometriosis. There's lots of treatments, including various kinds of hormonal therapies. And obviously, as you were going through laparoscopic surgeries...

1:01:52 Caller Yes.

1:01:52 Drew Yeah, you got to get it done. The other thing to know is that endometriosis at 20 can really affect your fertility. And so you have to be thinking about it.

1:01:59 Caller Yeah, they almost took out my ovaries in December because I had it all over.

1:02:05 Drew Were you physically abused or something? Did somebody hit you when you were growing up?

1:02:10 Caller No.

1:02:11 Drew Why does this just smack at that for me?

1:02:13 Adam What? Nothing. You know your dad? Good God.

1:02:18 Drew Yeah, I know.

1:02:20 Caller Uh-huh.

1:02:21 Adam Stepdad? Do you have a stepdad? No, mom never remarried?

1:02:29 Drew Why did they divorce?

1:02:31 Caller He was physically abusive.

1:02:35 Drew That's what I'm talking about.

1:02:37 Adam I don't know, Drew. You said hit, not thrown through a window.

1:02:45 Drew Which is, people are just screaming at me.

1:02:48 Adam I'm not crying. I'm not crying. I'm not crying. I'm not crying. I'm not crying. I'm not crying. I'm not crying. I'm not crying. I'm not crying. I'm not crying. I'm not crying. I'm not crying. I'm not crying. I'm not crying. I'm not crying. I'm not crying. I'm not crying. You weren't my big toe, ha-ha! Then you were physically abused.

1:03:12 Drew That's not what we do.

1:03:12 Adam No, we feel something, especially Drew, feels like, eh, wait a minute, there's got to be something here, like a good, like you'd want a good doctor to do. And you go after it a little, and people are evasive, and they're like, no, no, no, well, they divorced, but that's about it. And then you find out he threw you through a window, and that's why we pursue it. And this is it. And this isn't Drew telling her...

1:03:36 Adam Rodriguez He's like a CSI. That's right, that's what I'm talking about.

1:03:39 Adam Yeah, except for it's no ratings.

1:03:42 Drew And no talent.

1:03:43 Adam Yeah, if nobody watched CSI, that's what Drew would be like.

1:04:36 Drew I strongly urge you to get some serious counseling from someone who has a history of dealing with trauma survivorship.

1:04:45 Adam And Drew, there's a few red flags that pop up in the screwball department. Well, not screwball, but the victimized department.

1:04:54 Drew Pelvic pain is one.

1:04:55 Adam Pelvic pain is one, yes. And the more graphic they get about the case, the nuttier Drew thinks, or the more psychologically driven it is.

1:05:05 Drew But here's the deal, she's already under treatment. Why is she calling us? Already it's kind of a crazy situation. So immediately my senses go up, and she's, obviously the treatment for endometriosis is aggressive treatment of endometriosis. But I'm sure they've told her, we're doing everything we can, but she still has pain and this and that, and you can feel that energy. It's coming at you like a freight train. And that means something. It means it's all out there. It's out there.

1:05:30 Adam Rodriguez So as soon as they start treating it, that alleviates the pain?

1:05:33 Drew Well, if they're successful. But when people have the sense that everything's out there, outside of their body boundaries, you know there's a trauma.

1:05:40 Adam But listen, this must drive the doctors nuts. Because then they don't know.

1:05:43 Drew Well, a lot of them don't know. We're not really that well trained in picking trauma stuff up. That's the thing. Really not. We kind of know that what the doctors get used to is like, oh, it's a pain in the ass. I've done everything I can. There's no real physical problem.

1:05:55 Adam What am I supposed to do? What are the big red flag things? The endometriosis, the Epstein-Barr virus, fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue syndrome, the people that are chronic back pain people who never really had a serious injury of any kind, that are younger.

1:06:14 Drew I have L2, L3, L4, L5, like everyone does.

1:06:20 Adam Whenever you hear any of that stuff.

1:06:22 Adam Rodriguez That's not automatically a sign of phytotrauma.

1:06:24 Drew Not automatically, but it's a breadwinner.

1:06:27 99% of the time.

1:06:29 Adam Rodriguez It's time to look further.

1:06:32 Adam As a society, we don't get into that enough. By the way, first it was Epstein-Barr virus, and then it became chronic fatigue syndrome, and then it got fibromyalgia. It's called being lazy and depressed.

1:06:46 Adam Rodriguez Well, it is the new term for chronic fatigue syndrome.

1:06:49 Drew It used to be called neurasthenia.

1:06:51 Adam It's called being depressed.

1:06:53 Adam Rodriguez That was back when they had the dental dam.

1:06:57 Drew Now it's chronic fatigue syndrome.

1:07:00 Adam That's how they should cure that with the dental dam. Just hold it over your head until you're smothered. That would be a good way to go, though. What do you do? Dental dam death?

1:07:10 Drew Yeah, choked on the dental dam.

1:07:11 Adam That's right. Now, take a little break. Adam Rodriguez is here tonight from CSI Miami. Monday night, 10 o'clock, CBS. We'll take a quick break and be right back. Hey, everybody, it's the Loveline of Adam. That's Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. Adam Rodriguez is our guest tonight.

1:07:37 Drew Adam, what was your injury at baseball that prevented you from going on?

1:07:40 Adam Rodriguez I actually had two. One season after the other, I had a back injury. I fractured my L5. Yeah, red flag, there it goes.

1:07:48 Drew No, I fractured my L5.

1:07:50 Adam L5, junkie.

1:07:57 Adam Rodriguez So I fractured my L5 and tore my rotator cuff and bicep.

1:08:00 Drew What position?

1:08:01 Adam Rodriguez Right field.

1:08:02 Adam How did you do the rotator cuff and the bicep?

1:08:06 Adam Rodriguez I had a collision actually. I dove to catch a ball and I caught the ball, crashed into the center fielder and knocked him back. It was pretty ugly and then I jumped up and tried to throw a guy out who had actually ran. He didn't tag up and I tried to gun the ball and throw him out and I guess there was still a trauma from the impact. I threw right away and I just heard my arms go, I knew that that was going to be a problem. I didn't even go further than high school. I had some offers coming in from colleges and that was pretty much the end of it.

1:08:44 Adam Fell in love with acting?

1:08:46 Adam Rodriguez Eventually, yeah, I did actually.

1:08:47 Adam You fell in love with a man before that?

1:08:54 Adam Rodriguez Not quite, but after that I just lost focus. Yeah, I fell in love with this girl and I just put baseball to the back burner.

1:09:00 Adam I'm trying to think of how many high school athletes a little consistent tale has ruined the career of. I mean, I could remember, oh, I don't know how far I would have gone. Well, I don't mean necessarily-

1:09:14 Adam Rodriguez Gets beaten to death. They put that in your bio and it's like, I've been answering that question for the last seven years.

1:09:19 Adam I don't even mean like he would have played for the Yankees. All I'm saying is even within high school, I had friends who were-

1:09:27 Drew Pulled out.

1:09:28 Adam Going to go off. They were starting playing football in the 11th grade when they were juniors and the seniors, they may have been all city, start getting laid over the summer and just said, screw it.

1:09:40 Adam Rodriguez Yeah.

1:09:40 Adam This is great. I'm 17 and I'm getting laid.

1:09:43 Adam Rodriguez That was a good part of my story. That was before the falling in love part.

1:09:48 Drew Why do primate males go out and show off and stuff? That's what they're looking for.

1:09:52 Adam But they get it and there's no need to.

1:09:54 Drew Why do it?

1:09:55 Adam Who the hell wants to do two a day?

1:09:58 Adam Rodriguez That's true. A lot of that is true. Everything that guys do, I think for the most part has to do with getting laid.

1:10:04 Drew That's the motivational priority. It may not be the totality of what they're experiencing, but it's the priority.

1:10:11 Adam Rodriguez It's not a bad thing.

1:10:14 Drew The bad thing is that we don't talk about that as a culture, and women aren't taught to help to deal with that, because they don't think that way. They're thinking a little bit different. They're not under that storm of testosterone. Well, maybe if they can't understand how guys work.

1:10:28 Adam Rodriguez Right. Exactly.

1:10:29 Drew The reality.

1:10:30 Adam Maybe during the upcoming presidential election, they'll bring it up.

1:10:34 Drew Well, maybe Arnold will bring awareness that he's going to be governor.

1:10:37 Yeah.

1:10:40 Adam Adriana?

1:10:41 Yeah.

1:10:42 Adam You're 17?

1:10:43 Caller Yeah.

1:10:43 Adam Did we bother you? Sorry. I know it's late.

1:10:51 Caller Hello. Hello.

1:10:53 Adam What's up?

1:10:54 Caller Well, there's this guy and I've known him for about 10 years, and we're really good friends. See, I like him a lot, but he doesn't know that.

1:11:09 Drew How old is he?

1:11:10 Caller Twenty-one.

1:11:12 Drew How do you know him? How do you know him?

1:11:15 Caller From my friend.

1:11:17 Drew From your friend?

1:11:18 Caller Yeah.

1:11:18 Adam You sound like a delight, Adrian. I can't imagine that any man would be.

1:11:23 Adam Rodriguez How long have you known him? Ten years. How old are you?

1:11:27 Adam She's 17.

1:11:28 Drew What's this guy doing now?

1:11:30 Caller What do you mean?

1:11:32 Drew Is he going to school? Is he working? What kind of job?

1:11:36 Caller At Taco Bell.

1:11:37 Drew Oh, well, it's not to love.

1:11:39 Adam Bling, bling. Really? Yeah. What's going on? What's going wrong with your life, Adriana? Really?

1:11:51 Drew Nothing much.

1:11:52 Adam Something. First off, you're living in Whittier. That's bad. That's a bad thing. I went out there one time to teach a traffic school at eight in the morning on a Sunday. It's a horrible place at Whittier. Secondly, you're pining. Here's, hold on. I'm putting her on hold. Things have gone wrong when you're pining over someone you've known for a long time and have never made a move. Meaning, when you're moving forward, you're going to college, you've got your friends and your social life, your career, your work. There's always a new guy around every corner. You're never thinking about that guy you've known since the fifth grade or whatever. That's kind of thoughts you have when you're in prison. You know what I'm saying?

1:12:32 Drew Or you're underdeveloped. You don't have the facility to go out and get your needs met.

1:12:36 Adam Something's not going right for you, Adriana. What are you, in high school? How you doing in high school? You're going to graduate?

1:12:48 Drew How often are you around this guy? Are you around this guy very often? Okay, here's the deal. He would have made a move.

1:12:58 Caller No, like I'm afraid how he's going to react.

1:13:02 Adam If he was into you. See, this is another thing we have to tell the ladies. When a guy is into you and you've known him for a while.

1:13:08 Drew He's...

1:13:09 Adam And he works at Taco Bell, he's going to make the move.

1:13:12 Drew Yeah.

1:13:13 Adam Rodriguez I mean, unless he looks at her in like, you know...

1:13:16 Adam Doesn't matter. He came on. And let me tell you this. I put an application in at Taco Bell, rejected. Yeah. I was rejected from Taco Bell. Didn't quite... You know, we're not cut out of Taco Bell cloth.

1:13:32 Drew Not up to their standards.

1:13:33 Adam Cut out of a different poncho, my friend. Yeah. Yeah, you made me better fit over at Mickey D's. She hit the bricks, can't you? That's all... That's all bloody ego at 15 when Taco Bell shuts you down. Yeah, so listen. You'll bounce back. Adriana, has this guy ever showed any interest in you that way?

1:13:54 Caller Probably not, no.

1:13:55 Adam Then he's not interested. Where's the guys from your high school? How come they're not asking you out?

1:14:02 Caller Yeah, there's a couple of guys that have.

1:14:05 Adam Yeah.

1:14:05 Caller There you go.

1:14:06 Adam What's the problem?

1:14:08 Caller I don't know. It's just like I really don't go for them. I'm more into like this guy, you know, a lot.

1:14:14 Adam Rodriguez Sure. Is this all of a sudden or you always had a thing for him?

1:14:18 Caller Huh?

1:14:19 Adam Rodriguez Have you just started feeling this way all of a sudden or did you always have a thing?

1:14:23 Adam Here's why I'm telling you to shut up because I believe the huh is not.

1:14:27 Drew Is it a defense?

1:14:28 Adam No, the huh is I need time to think and process, not I don't hear you. So it's a retarded way to go through life. Okay, here's the thing. First off, this guy's a cuticle smell of onions. That's always a bad thing. You smell a man's cuticle. It shouldn't smell like onions. It's better to smell of a transmission fluid or even semen. Anything better than onions. And if you get a compound, that's bad. You get onion and transmission fluid. Onion and semen and... I've had the hat trick. That's bad.

1:14:59 Drew That's a scary guy.

1:14:59 Adam That means you've been beating off with an onion and tranny fluid.

1:15:03 Adam Rodriguez Is this when you worked at McDonald's?

1:15:05 Adam Yeah, when I worked at McDonald's, I smelled of onion. Yeah, because that worked the grill.

1:15:09 Drew See, they saw that coming at Taco Bell.

1:15:11 Adam Rodriguez They're good over there, man. They're good. They saw you from a long distance.

1:15:15 Drew It smells eutical.

1:15:17 Adam You know, it's like we were checking from time to time. Sorry, buddy. We got retarded elderly people to hire. We can't hire you.

1:15:24 Drew Go back to your potters.

1:15:25 Adam We got an old retarded guy. Actually, we got retarded elderly and a retarded elderly. They still can't hire you. Fantastic. All right, but look at who's laughing now, Hunter? Who's laughing?

1:15:35 Drew Literally a millionaire.

1:15:36 Adam Literally a millionaire. Look at me, literally a millionaire.

1:15:38 Drew Adriana, so listen, what we're trying to tell you is that you're obsessing about a guy who's probably not into you, and if he is, he would sort of come after in an exploitative way, because he wasn't into her, it's an opportunity, he would just go for it.

1:15:49 Adam Plus, she's 21, she's 17.

1:15:51 Drew Not a good combo. And he works at Taco Bell. And his cuticle smells of the trifecta.

1:15:55 Adam Rodriguez Come on, that's not crucifying for working at Taco Bell.

1:15:57 Adam No, no, nothing.

1:15:58 Adam Rodriguez As long as he's gay, may have bigger aspirations. Maybe he's going to school. We don't know.

1:16:04 Drew He was going to school, but right now.

1:16:06 Adam His father could have worked at Taco Bell, his grandfather, his father before him, you know what I mean? They pass it on generationally.

1:16:16 Drew They've always manned that sour cream squirter.

1:16:19 Adam I like that. I like that you got the sour cream caulking gun there. Yeah that's nice when you're holding the caulking gun filled with sour cream and you've got a guy explaining you Dalop size. Hey Corolla, that's silver dollar, I'm looking for quarter Dalop size, but let's get it right. McDonald's was great for me. I used to have to do the sweep and the mop of the dining area. That was great. Pushing the broom and then mopping behind me.

1:16:52 Adam Rodriguez Beautiful.

1:16:52 Adam Working the grill.

1:16:54 Adam Rodriguez That's when the big bucks started rolling.

1:16:59 Adam Had my smock, had my polyester brown gi on, my paper hat, polyester brown slacks, wearing the shoes I wore for ninth grade graduation because they were leather. Now you had to wear leather sold shoes back then at McDonald's. Could never figure out that. I was pretty good with the quarter pounders, but I could never figure out the Big Mac bun situation because you have to put them in the toaster. I would always have the thing flipped over the wrong direction or something so the top side would get toasted. I'd give it to them anyway. We had our own speak over there. I'd say, burgers up, wrap please. That meant it was time to wrap the burgers. Then they'd say, and then I'd also give them this one, cheese count on max please. Then they'd say, cheese three please. And I'd say, thank you. Yeah. We had a whole lingo over there. Who was going on?

1:17:50 Drew Who was up front?

1:17:52 Adam The beautiful people. Okay, here's the crazy thing about me. I'm a talk show host, right? Could not work the register. Get him back with the grill and the grunts.

1:18:04 Drew Remember though, you're the talk show host that has to be encouraged not to talk.

1:18:09 Adam I didn't take a register test though. They mainly stuffed me behind the grill. Great stuff spattering on y'all. Searing everything, oh my God. Joel. Hold on a second. You want time to drag. Imagine like you get paid hourly.

1:18:26 Adam Rodriguez These are signs of trauma.

1:18:27 Adam Two thirty five a goddamn hour.

1:18:30 Drew He had a phase where he wanted to wear a diaper and crap himself.

1:18:33 Adam Too late, I already crapped myself. Two thirty five an hour and here's how you spend that hour. Just standing there searing burgers, flipping them, searing them. How much more slowly do you think an hour could go than you just standing over molten grill searing things? Really? One hour feels like doing that. I would want $10,000 for one of those hours. Hey, you get two thirty five, we're taking taxes out. Oh, yeah. It'll be about buck ninety for that hour. Free food. No. Now, I could get some free soda. I would get free food when I would volunteer to throw away the food that had been sitting there too long. Then it was a free-for-all out by the dumpster.

1:19:15 Adam Rodriguez I had a friend of mine that worked at McDonald's when we'd go late at night.

1:19:19 Adam You'd get that dumpster food.

1:19:20 Adam Rodriguez And get that stuff that was en route to the dumpster.

1:19:24 Adam No shame in that, Drew. No shame.

1:19:25 Drew I can just imagine you just like a pig in a trough.

1:19:28 Adam Well, you had to see how many of these like apple pies and a filet of fish you could shove in your mouth before they got suspicious of why isn't he back at the grill. I'll take this stuff out to the dumpster and then you just get a bong out and just do a filet of fish bongs. Shotgun as many of those you could in your mouth and come back like the chipmunk cheeks.

1:19:52 Adam Rodriguez Did you work there when they had the good apple pies or did you work there when they got the new baked apple pies? They looked like they had acne, just like the little bubbles all over from being fried. Yeah.

1:20:06 Adam It didn't work the deep fryer too much. Yeah, it's a grill man. That's me.

1:20:12 Drew I'm proud of you.

1:20:14 Adam You're 16?

1:20:16 Drew 120 minutes.

1:20:21 I have a question. I've been dating my girlfriend for like a year and a half now and we've had sex a couple times and done some other stuff. I don't really have very much feeling down in my penis and stuff and it takes like an hour.

1:20:39 Adam You've got to kill yourself. Do you masturbate?

1:20:45 Yeah. It takes like an hour for that too.

1:20:49 Drew Where are you on your medication?

1:20:51 I'm on Lexapro.

1:20:52 Drew Alright, well that will do that.

1:20:54 Adam Let's have Lexapro, dude.

1:20:55 Drew Antidepressants is a good one but that will shut you down sexually a bit.

1:20:59 I just got on Lexapro I guess like a year ago and it's been like this since I've been like 13.

1:21:08 Drew Well, you listen, by 16 you should be getting into a little more of a stride and it's shutting you down further is what I'm telling you. What's the dose you're on Lexapro? What's the dose? 20, that's a good size dose. 10 is sort of an average dose. So you gotta talk to your doctor about this. There's other antidepressant medicines that do not have this side effect. Lexapro is a good one. It's not very much, it's not very powerful in terms of its suppression of sexual activity, but it can certainly do that.

1:21:37 Adam Well, what's going on? You've been taking this since 13?

1:21:41 Well, no, I've been taking it for like a year.

1:21:44 Drew The other thing that can get you to cut off from your body is if you were sexually abused or physically abused. Did that happen?

1:21:50 No, I wasn't.

1:21:51 Drew So you just gotta get medicines adjusted.

1:21:54 Adam What are you depressed about? Yeah, what are you depressed about?

1:21:58 Just, I don't know, just a lot of stuff's going on. Like, my parents are divorced and...

1:22:04 Adam Ah, cry me a river, buddy. My parents were divorced and I was getting rejected from Taco Bell when I was your age. You got a girlfriend and you're getting laid? You live in Denver, for Christ's sake? How bad could it be? Alright, let's take some walks, start listening classical music, do some push-ups.

1:22:21 Adam Rodriguez Hey, rebel a little bit, man. What do you like to do?

1:22:31 Adam Play football. You go to a good school?

1:22:34 Yeah.

1:22:34 Adam Alright. You go to one of the nicest columbines?

1:22:40 No.

1:22:40 Adam That's a nice school. I always felt bad, but whenever they were showing pictures of columbines, talking about the tragedy, I was like, Holy Christ, their library is a crystal cathedral. Three stories. First he stopped at the mezzanine level, then he took the elevator up to the top. I was like, what? My school had wheels on it. It was burnt orange and had wheels on it.

1:23:03 Adam Rodriguez The library was a bus or trailer in the back.

1:23:05 Adam It had windows and stuff. Some of these schools, what's up with LA? Why do we have the crappiest schools in the nation? Do we have the worst schools in the nation?

1:23:17 Drew The governor's comments tonight, they said they had opened the books and looked at the budget situation in California. They said we knew the numbers were bad, but this was breathtaking. That's why we're all screwed up here with our public services. It's been so mismanaged.

1:23:32 Adam LA has got to be, I mean, New York, I'm sure is up there, but it's got to be some of the oldest, crappiest schools in the country. When you travel around, like once in a while you see these high school football games from around the country, they're running out onto AstroTurf. It looks like they're playing in a sort of a miniature stadium, you know. Like I said, something...

1:23:54 Adam Rodriguez Well, you can see where the tax dollars are going.

1:23:56 Adam Something like, some tragedy like Columbine happens and they start showing, well, he was in the library, then he went to the cafeteria, then he was in the main acceptance hall and stuff like that. Oh my God, this looks like a beautiful facility. It's like a beautiful facility, yeah. What is this? We got to do something, Drew. I thought California was supposed to be good. What about Los Angeles? Nothing but Taco Bells and crappy schools. Come on, Schwarzenegger. What about all that lotto money? What about that?

1:24:25 Drew Where'd that go?

1:24:26 Adam Where's that going? You sold that whole thing of, oh, we're going to bail out the schools. We're going to bail out the schools. What are we doing for the schools? How does that work?

1:24:36 Drew Why don't they just start reducing the size of the pot a little bit and take some of it for the schools?

1:24:42 Adam Yeah, I don't know if anyone is ever going to have a big problem if the lotto pot goes from $50 million to $35 million? Is there going to be an outrage?

1:24:49 Drew Probably $50 million to $48 million even.

1:24:53 Adam Rodriguez Yeah, well, I mean if they're going to do the right thing with that money, then yeah, but I mean if this is just going to continue to lie in other people's pockets, what's the point of cutting that down? Yeah, if something's wrong and then the whole I mean, it's all annuitized anyway, so I mean, it's not even like that's exactly what's happening with these guys.

1:25:09 Adam And by the way, that whole thing too where you win the pot of $50 million, we could give you $20 million all up front or we'll pay you what are you talking about? I won the $50 million. Let's cough it up now. You won the $50 million. Yeah, we could pay that over, of course, 800 years or we could get a lump sum of $1200. What? I won the goddamn pot. Give me the money. And where's the schools? Why aren't they getting their money? And why is gambling? Gambling is wrong, except for if you wear slippers when you buy these things. If you're wearing curlers, a house coat and slippers, then it's okay. You're betting on football. Football is wrong. You can't gamble on football. But you have pie gal poker and lottery and Texas Hold'em and horses and dogs.

1:25:59 Adam Rodriguez That's not gambling. Pete Rose isn't in the Hall of Fame. But, you know.

1:26:03 Adam Now, I'm going to discuss it all. Hey, yo, it's Loveline. That's Dr. Drew. Adam Rodriguez is here tonight from CSI Miami. Monday nights at 10 o'clock on CBS. That'd be tomorrow night, everybody. All right, let's take some calls, Drew. What do you say, buddy? That's your stories. Laura? You're 17? Yeah. You have chlamydia?

1:26:36 Caller I don't think I took antibiotics when I went to the doctor, so does that mean I don't have it anymore?

1:26:40 Drew Right.

1:26:41 Caller Yeah, so I got it from the sky over the summer, and then I've been sleeping with this other guy in the condom break sometimes, and I sort of went and had it, and I was wondering if we just, like, were having sex just for like a second when the condom, if I could have passed it to him, and if I need to tell him.

1:26:55 Drew Yes, you need to tell him, yes, you could have passed it to him.

1:26:58 Caller Really?

1:26:59 Drew Yes, if you had it then, it was not since the antibiotics, definitely you could have passed it to him.

1:27:05 Caller Okay, thank you, and I love you, Adam, and I love you, Drew.

1:27:09 Drew Sorry, Laura. I'm glad you were using a condom.

1:27:12 Adam You got a chlamydia taking care of, we can talk, okay?

1:27:15 Drew She'll be 18, she'll be 18.

1:27:16 Adam Rodriguez She said the condom breaks a lot, I mean, does that happen a lot?

1:27:19 Drew Does your condom breaks a lot, Laura?

1:27:21 Adam She said she broke a few, not broke a few. Laura?

1:27:27 Drew Laura, well how do you break these condoms?

1:27:29 Caller I have no idea, it's never happened with any other guy except this guy.

1:27:32 Drew And he's done it more than once?

1:27:34 Caller What?

1:27:35 Drew And he has broken it more than once? Is he putting it on properly?

1:27:41 Caller I don't know, he puts it on, I don't.

1:27:43 Drew He's in the right size?

1:27:44 Adam Rodriguez Maybe he needs magnums.

1:27:45 Drew Yeah, you know, it turns out magnums are not that much bigger than, they just taper differently. Trojan has something called Trojan XL. That's the big, big one. No one knows that. Yeah. It's funny.

1:27:56 Adam Yeah, a guy's gotta help you with it to get out of the car, though.

1:28:00 Drew Well, if a wind picks up.

1:28:02 Adam Yeah, you both get sucked down the street. But yeah, they bring one of those pallet jacks out there. Guys dragging it out to the SUV.

1:28:10 Drew It'll fit your trunk.

1:28:11 Adam Looks great if people catch you, you know, friends, ladies see you pulling that to the back of the car. Casey, Cassie? Yes. You're 18?

1:28:21 Caller Yes, I am.

1:28:22 Adam What's up?

1:28:25 Caller I was wondering, I have a boyfriend that's 22. And we've been going out, I guess about a month and a half. And I've had a lot of turbulence in my background, I guess.

1:28:37 Drew What does that mean?

1:28:40 Caller I was sexually abused by my brother when I was a child. And I was raped when I was 13. Gosh. And the way I dealt with that was I did the same thing, you know, I just.

1:28:54 Drew Had more sex?

1:28:55 Caller Huh?

1:28:56 Drew Had more sex.

1:28:57 Caller No, actually I turned to drugs. Drugs. And I'm recovered.

1:29:02 Drew Great.

1:29:04 Caller So I just don't know whether I should tell him or not.

1:29:07 Adam How old's your boyfriend?

1:29:09 Caller He's 22.

1:29:10 Drew How long have you been with him?

1:29:12 Caller A month and a half.

1:29:13 Drew Well, maybe not a month and a half, but within three months, I think that your recovery is an important part of your life. And he's gonna have to know about that, why you're going to meetings, when your friends are. He may have to go to some Al-Anon or something. So yeah, I think he needs to know eventually.

1:29:28 Adam What is that? Does everyone need to know everything?

1:29:30 Drew I didn't say everything. I just said needs to know that she's a recovering person. That's about all he needs to know.

1:29:34 Adam Rodriguez Yeah, that's a big party. I mean, that's an everyday thing. Yeah. I mean, if she's gonna stay in their life, I think that's important.

1:29:39 Adam Are you, are you, are you?

1:29:40 Adam Rodriguez I needed a girl that had to go.

1:29:41 Adam Program?

1:29:42 Adam Rodriguez Yeah.

1:29:42 Caller No, I'm not.

1:29:44 Drew Well, you need to get involved. You need to get involved. Cause you will go back.

1:29:51 Caller I did the same thing. Like my dad quit drinking. When, after he went to jail, he was dry for five years.

1:29:58 Drew In jail?

1:30:00 Caller Well, he went in jail for two years. So he was dry outside for three years.

1:30:04 Drew And then he went back.

1:30:06 Caller And no, he's not back in jail quite yet.

1:30:09 Drew No, he went back to, he went back to alcohol.

1:30:11 Caller Yeah.

1:30:13 Drew Do you want to do that? And it's progressive disease, Cassie. You want to, do you want to get in the butt here or do you want to?

1:30:18 Adam I like that he's not quite back in the joint either. Yeah. Is he working his way back into the joint?

1:30:23 Adam Rodriguez Standing trial.

1:30:24 Caller Well, he's, he has court cases pending.

1:30:29 Drew For what?

1:30:30 Caller He's just done his pre-trial and we're waiting for the trial to come up.

1:30:34 Drew For what?

1:30:35 Caller What is the trial for?

1:30:37 Caller Possession of a controlled substance and possession with intent to distribute.

1:30:41 Drew All right, Cassie, look, just get involved in the program. You're, you're, please, please.

1:30:46 Adam I don't worry about telling what you tell your boyfriend.

1:30:49 Caller Well, I don't live with my father anymore. And that's one thing that helped me get dragged. I was away from all that.

1:30:56 Adam Now, but listen, Cassie.

1:30:57 Caller Yes.

1:30:57 Adam Here's the thing, you work on your sobriety, you get into the program, and if you want to tell your boyfriend, you can tell your boyfriend whatever you want to tell your boyfriend, but don't tell your boyfriend a bunch of wretched things to get him to run away.

1:31:11 Caller Right. No, I'm not gonna do that. I love him to death.

1:31:13 Adam Yeah, that's what we're worried about. That's what we're worried about.

1:31:16 Drew Unless he's a bad guy, you're gonna push him away.

1:31:18 Adam You might start pushing him away. Is he a good guy?

1:31:20 Caller He's a very good guy.

1:31:22 Drew Be careful.

1:31:23 Adam Watch out. You're impulse is gonna be to freak him out and push him away. Possibly cheat and then tell him.

1:31:30 Caller No, I would never cheat on this man. He's the most honorable man I've ever met.

1:31:35 Adam He's a nice guy. And those guys freak you out.

1:31:39 Drew Or he's building him up to be something that he can't possibly keep up with. And when he lets her down the slightest bit, it's gonna be a major collapse.

1:31:46 Adam You shouldn't be talking to your partners. You really, no good can come of it.

1:31:52 Drew Less history, more mystery.

1:31:54 Adam That's right. Nothing good ever came from a conversation with a partner. Take a break. We'll be back. Well, where'd the time go? Adam, thank you for coming in.

1:32:08 Adam Rodriguez Thanks for having me, man.

1:32:09 Drew Always a good time.

1:32:11 Adam CSI Miami on Monday nights on CBS, 10 o'clock. Everyone watch that show if you're not already. I can't imagine you aren't. Drew?

1:32:20 Drew Puddle of mud in here tomorrow night.

1:32:21 Adam Puddle of mud tomorrow night and then pink later in the week. And Kathy Griffin or Orange as I call it.

1:32:29 Drew Watch, you'll drop down.

1:32:32 Adam All right, Adam, you stop by anytime you like. We'll go blow a joint and I'll stab you with my fire poker.

1:32:39 Yeah.

1:32:39 Adam So until next time, this has been Sam Krumper, Dr. Drew saying mahalo.

1:32:47 This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors or this station. The producer for Loveline is Annie Gold. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Sunday, November 16, 2003