Episode 1000579885377

0:55 Voiceover Love Line may contain sexually oriented content.

1:00 Love Line with Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew.

1:03 Adam It's Love Line, I'm Adam. Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-

1:28 Mm-hmm. What's weird?

1:28 Adam Or why is it that the music is so loud that I can barely hear my voice? You know, at the beginning. Always or just today? Maybe just tonight.

1:29 Because it was a little louder. Is that what it is?

1:30 Voiceover Yeah, I think it was different music. Ah, who cares? Phone number, 1-800-LOVE-191, Dr. Drew, Board Certified Physician, Dick Spence, Specialist, Cypress Hill tonight. Except for we only have the, well, I don't know if we have the Hill or the Cypress. We got Bobo from Cypress Hill.

1:39 Uh-oh, hold on.

1:41 You got me?

1:41 Drew There we are.

1:42 All right, all right, all right. There were not too far behind me, last I heard. Maybe they took a smoke break. I don't know.

1:51 Adam Well, the big guy, speaking of smoke break, the smoke out is going, the sixth annual smoke out is going on this Saturday, right?

1:59 Yes, yes, yes. It's gonna be a big, good lineup. National Orange Show.

2:04 Adam Yeah, now you've moved the venue around a couple times, right?

2:08 Yeah, yeah. A couple of times went to Glen Helen a couple years back and last year we took it to LA.

2:14 Drew Glen Helen's all burned out now, is it?

2:15 Yeah, I'm glad that we're not going there.

2:17 Adam Yeah.

2:18 But now we're going back to the original spot, which a lot of fans were happy about, so it should be fun.

2:24 Adam Oh, so this is the place of the first smokeout?

2:28 Yes, the first three is.

2:29 Drew Wasn't it hot last year when you guys did it? Yeah.

2:32 Adam It was a year before, I think it was hot.

2:33 Yeah, I don't know what's gonna happen now. Yeah, it was hot and smoked out, for sure.

2:40 Adam By the way, you can get tickets if you're interested, or any information about the Smokeout at www.smokeoutfestival.com. And who's on the bill?

2:54 Linkin Park.

2:55 Adam Oh yeah.

2:55 DMX, Pennywise, Papa Roach, MOP, Super Joint Ritual. It's like 30 some of bands and of course, Cypress Hill.

3:06 Adam Yeah, and now how's it work? You guys go on in the middle, you go on at the end.

3:11 Well, usually in the beginning, we were closing the whole thing out. So that means we were kind of going on at like 12 or one o'clock in the morning. And now I think we got a little smarter. We're gonna go on maybe like, not exactly the middle, but like early evening kind of thing.

3:28 Drew Yeah, then they go out to dinner and let those young guys from like bar close.

3:31 They can do it. They'll love to do that. And we can just like kick back.

3:34 Adam It's weird the order of things. Like if you're a comic, you wanna go on last. That means you're the big star. But if it's a movie credits, you wanna be on first. And I think we figured out from doing enough of these festivals, Drew, that if it's a big festival, you wanna go on about third to last.

3:55 Drew Yes.

3:55 That's the perfect time.

3:56 Adam Is that the prime one?

3:57 Drew Yeah.

3:58 You know, people like already, you know, been drunk, sober, drunk, sober again, and then they have their last bit of energy right there about that time.

4:07 Adam I know, cause people are like, sometimes the pot brownie, the mushrooms, the X, whatever's kicked in, they've peaked, they're on the other side of the mountain. Now they got to booze themselves back up, start climbing that mountain again.

4:20 And then it gets ugly.

4:22 Adam And then it starts getting ugly.

4:23 Yeah, yeah, it does. About like 12 midnight, you know, the diehards out and all kinds of things are going in their head.

4:30 Drew Well, not scary farm.

4:32 Adam And they get, everyone's got sunstroke cause their shirt's been off the entire time and all they've only liquid they put in their body is Boone's Farm and GHB.

4:42 Ooh, ooh, that's rough.

4:44 Adam You know what I'm saying, Drew? Do the kids drink Boone's Farm anymore?

4:49 Drew No, I don't think that exists anymore.

4:53 Adam So I want to come out with what, you know my idea, I had this idea for shotgun beer. It was a beer that had the pull tab on the bottom too, so you could shotgun the beer, you know?

5:04 And you could put a six pack.

5:05 Drew Would the drive safely sign on the side of it?

5:07 Adam Yes, I hope so. Six pack down in like 35, 40 seconds. And I'm sure there'd be some outrage, but think of the money I could make and all I'd have to do is do it, Adam. I know like all it takes is the cheapest like Lucky Logger 289, a six pack beer.

5:22 Drew Put it in the Corolla can.

5:23 Adam And then just retool the shot, put the tab on it and charge 650 a can. You'd be killing.

5:30 Drew And someday they'll be saying, oh yeah, I took six Corollas and they will have no idea where that name came from.

5:35 Adam Yeah, I know, yeah. My grandfather, now I think back, I used to drink generic beer. Like, you know, the supermarket, just their brand of beer. You know what I'm talking about? That's a bad sign when you don't even have your own brew.

5:49 Drew Yeah, and your grandfather was the generous one.

5:51 Adam I know. Here's your drink. What's your drink? Whatever's cheapest. Really? Yeah, whatever we got. What do you do when you go on an airplane? You just get whatever's cheapest? How's that work? How do you get your drink when you're at a party or something? Oh, so sad, so pathetic. All right, anyway, who do we have here?

6:09 Caller Oh, Zendog. Yes.

6:12 Adam Oh, it's good to see you. Speaking of drink, he's got a beer.

6:16 Caller See, there it is.

6:16 Adam Not even sharing.

6:17 Drew Someone has to recognize him. It does say Vons. No, no, no, no.

6:20 Adam Zendog is now here. Now we have, well, we have two thirds of the Cypress Hill that is gonna be here tonight and I don't know what percentage of the actual band. What is it, like six, seven guys?

6:33 Cypress Hill Nah, it depends. We're doing like a rock and roll set or we're doing a hip hop set. So we do a hip hop set. It's me, Bobo, and B-Real and Mugs. And then we do the other thing. You know, we bring the cats from SX-10 out there and then there's like six, seven cats up there.

6:49 Adam Let's see, is Cypress Hills a sort of modern day war? Got a mixture of ethnicities. There's a lot of people that probably should.

6:59 Drew Specialists.

7:00 Adam It's just people wandering out on stage playing the hollowed out fish and jamming along. Remember the band War?

7:07 Cypress Hill Oh, of course. One of my all time favorites.

7:09 Caller There's like ten guys on stage.

7:11 Adam That's a Cypress Hill kind of has that war vibe. All right, true. You disagree?

7:16 Drew No, I agree.

7:16 Adam You just disagree on two?

7:18 Drew No, they...

7:22 Cypress Hill Puerto Ricans and Mexicans and Italians all the time.

7:25 Caller We're a melting pot up there.

7:26 Adam Yeah, where's B-Real, by the way?

7:29 Caller He's probably like 15 minutes behind Sendog.

7:32 Adam Oh, I see.

7:32 Caller So he'll be trying on in here.

7:35 Adam You guys should get one car and go in it, you know?

7:37 Caller You thought about that. We've tried that.

7:39 Drew B-Real's getting a little bit casual at this show.

7:41 Caller Is he?

7:41 Drew 47 times. Is he? Yeah.

7:46 Caller I've been on here a lot of times.

7:48 Drew We'll get around Loveline.

7:50 Cypress Hill Well, I'm having fun. I'm glad I'm here.

7:52 Caller You're quite fragrant. Yeah.

7:55 Cypress Hill Well, you know, gotta keep it real, Cypress Hill thing.

7:58 Caller That's right.

7:59 Adam Yeah, well, we're glad to see you here. We'll abuse B-Real when he shows up. So Ann, you're 26?

8:06 Caller Mm-hmm.

8:07 Adam What's up?

8:08 Caller I was wondering, does it physically hurt a guy to hold back his organ?

8:12 Adam For, he's such an idiot. But, does it physically, oh, to hold back? Yeah.

8:18 Drew No.

8:18 Adam Well, yeah, but if he kinks the end of his penis like a garden hose.

8:24 Drew Just kinking the penis is bad, yeah. Power grip, that would be bad, right? What do you mean holding back?

8:29 Caller Um, if he says that, okay, cause he comes really quickly.

8:33 Drew Yeah, that's something he can't do anything about that. It's not like it's urine he can hold back. It's just, it is a biology that leaves the station and that's it.

8:42 Caller But doesn't that, doesn't that like mind over matter that you can just like hold it back for like about an hour and then all of a sudden go bam?

8:48 Drew No, no, no, no.

8:50 Caller That's just us, brother.

8:52 Drew That's you guys. That's only for girls? What?

8:54 That's only for girls. Only girls can do that. Hold it back.

8:58 Adam Yeah, I don't know if girls can do it. Although, yeah, most of them I know have had a pretty good job of holding it back.

9:04 Couldn't he like pull out, stop?

9:06 Drew Right, that's right. That's what he needs to do is sort of master himself. He needs to, he needs to figure out how to deal with his rhythm, his quick draw. Yeah, is he a rabbit? Whether he masturbates, listen, and he may need to masturbate more, he may need to stop, he may work on it. There's things he can do. He can even get on Viagra, so he retains the continuous direction after he ejaculates.

9:32 Adam Anne, you sound a little nutty. Do I? Yeah, what's up? Are you a little nutty?

9:38 Drew A little energy.

9:40 Adam You have an energy to you, like, okay, I'm gonna go put Anne on hold so I can finish my thought, but there's some people that will let you finish three quarters to seven eighths of your thought, of your sentence, of your dialogue, but they'll hop on the last word and a half almost every time.

9:56 Drew But then kind of, it's a little bit of, not only that, yeah, yes, yes, uh-huh, and?

10:01 Adam Yeah, and you'll say something like, you know, it's like they'll go, well, you'll go, you got a couple options. You could use some Vagra, you could go to your doctor and take it. They'll always cut, they'll always hack off the end of your option, like a moil whacking a foreskin off, you know what I mean?

10:18 Drew Exactly like that.

10:19 Adam And it's always, it's-

10:20 Drew The image I had too, strangely enough.

10:22 Adam Really?

10:22 Caller Really?

10:22 Drew No.

10:23 Adam You guys aren't Jewish, are you?

10:25 Caller Uh, no, no, not that I was checked.

10:26 Adam But the point is, is-

10:28 Drew Well, they're not even circumcised.

10:29 Adam It's a weird energy, and I don't know what that is. Anne has it.

10:32 Drew Maybe just anxiety.

10:34 Adam Anne? But she's also a little angry at the guy for not doing something about this that he's sort of genetically wired to do. I mean, he has a clock, you know, every guy has a clock in his balls. And this guy has like a three minute egg timer, and some people have calendars. You know what I mean? Bubba's got a calendar.

10:53 Drew Yes.

10:54 Adam He's got one of those 14 monthers too. It's not the 12.

10:57 Drew Exactly. The window ones from Christmas time.

11:00 Adam All right, so I am. There's not a whole lot you can do to change this stuff other than kind of work with it and make the best of it. But you're not going to turn him into something other.

11:12 Drew And nor does volition really the issue here.

11:16 Is what, what'd you think?

11:17 Drew Volition, he can't wish it or try to control it back. But he can try to work with it. And that he should definitely be doing.

11:25 Adam All right, baby doll. See, I gave her that speech and then it was like she took a Queload after that. Scared to talk.

11:34 Caller You know what we've learned?

11:35 Adam I'll tell you what I've learned from this show other than I hate everyone under 17. The other important thing I've learned is, is everybody's just wired a certain way. And we got a society, there's billions of dollars in telling people you can change. You know, there's billions of dollars in trying to get bald guys from losing their hair and fat people to lose their ass and guys who come too fast to start coming slower. There's, it's a billion, multi-billion dollar a year business to change stuff. And then there's a lot of blame assigned too. Like, you know, fat people, oh, you're lazy, have some self-respect, guy that comes too fast, go on buddy, squirrely, he's anxious. The reality is, is some guys takes a half hour to bust a nut, some guys it takes a half a minute. That's how God made him. Just like the guy who goes bald at 21, just like the guy's got the pear shaped ass. And on the good side, just like the guy's got the big guns with the vein running through it and doesn't bust enough for 45 minutes. But he doesn't need any praise. And the guy busting nut in 10 seconds doesn't need any abuse. Even though we've dealt out quite a bit of it over the years. But doesn't this fall under that heading?

12:49 Drew Absolutely.

12:49 Adam It's just everything is just sort of what everything is. Like bad skin is bad skin.

12:54 Drew It's not because you eat chocolate. There's a gene environment interaction. I mean, whatever you're born with and then what the environment does with those genes. But then once that's all turned on and whatever, that's pretty much it. And then you're working with it, you're not changing it.

13:05 Cypress Hill The dude could like work on it, you know what I mean?

13:06 Drew Yeah, work with it, really.

13:07 Cypress Hill Work with it, he could, you know, give it down.

13:10 Drew Well, that's what we're sort of picking up on.

13:15 Adam But here's what the guys gotta do. They gotta get down, they gotta do the oral on the chips. That's what you gotta do.

13:20 Caller They gotta be down there for a while.

13:21 Adam That's the price you gotta pay. That's your penance right there, Drew.

13:25 Drew It's not a penance, it's a compensation.

13:26 Adam I mean, compensation right there.

13:28 Caller I don't think they would care if you're down there for like an hour or so. And then you give them like good three minute, you know, wham bang and then they'll be fine, right?

13:36 They care, though.

13:38 Drew Some do, some don't.

13:40 Adam See, I say the meter starts when you get down there.

13:43 Drew For some, it's the meter shuts off as soon as you finish down there, too.

13:47 Adam Yeah, but I'm just saying, if you could log a half hour lovemaking session with 28 of it spent down there. See what I'm saying?

13:55 Drew And for many, if not maybe, perhaps most, that would be quite adequate. So you're playing as good, Adam.

14:02 Adam You're fine.

14:04 Drew No, no, seriously, no, no, yeah.

14:06 Adam You know, Drew.

14:07 Drew Yeah, you know.

14:08 Adam That's Silas?

14:09 Yeah.

14:10 Adam You're 19?

14:11 Caller Yeah, I got a good Germany or Florida.

14:14 Adam All right, the way this game is played, by the way, is I tell Sendog and Bobo about this, which is we figured out that all evil, all bizarre evil either emanates from Florida or Germany. All the weird stories you hear on the internet, it's always Florida or Germany. So Silas is gonna tell us the bizarre story and then we'll guess, Florida or Germany. Here's the theme. That's the theme. Oh, that's nice. Yes, thank you.

14:48 Caller All right, this guy dies and he stipulates in his will that in order to inherit anything, his family has to attend a wake on the second floor of his house. Turns out that he had sawn through the support beams and the floor collapsed. All mourners therein were killed. Wow.

15:11 Adam Wow.

15:12 Drew And again, people are getting the idea they can call us about weird events from history. So it doesn't, you know, we may not have heard about it because it happened in 1840 or something.

15:20 Adam Right, yeah. If it involves a guy with the Kaiser in his title, we don't need it. Now, this now, as a former construction worker and carpenter, this sounds highly unlikely that you'd be able to do this.

15:33 Drew Well, that's why I was thinking about an old building.

15:36 Adam Yeah.

15:37 Drew You know, those buildings from the 19th century where they have like big beams in the middle of them.

15:41 Adam Yeah, it doesn't sound like, yeah, no a pair of lambs or glu-lam beams or steel or anything like that going in there.

15:48 Drew But then Germany has lots of old buildings like that.

15:51 Adam I'm going Germany. I'm going Germany.

15:52 Caller Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

15:55 Adam We all send dog, Germany.

15:57 Cypress Hill Yeah. I never heard of that going done in the United States. All right.

15:59 Adam We're all going Germany. Silas, Germany. Germany. And that's how you play Germany or Florida. Thank you.

16:08 Drew Good story, Silas.

16:09 Adam Yeah, good.

16:10 Drew But by standards of what we've been getting for the last couple of days.

16:13 Adam You don't believe it. Do you really?

16:14 Drew Did it happen?

16:15 Adam Well, like I said, I was a carpenter. What do you do? You saw through all of, halfway through all of the ceiling joists and then how come the thing doesn't just fall under its own weight? And how come when the first person walks on that, everyone gets on it and then it all collapses?

16:30 Drew It's a little bit of a cartoon quality.

16:33 Adam And when did the guy hatch his plan? When he was in his 30s?

16:36 Drew Right, like Wile E. Coyote would do.

16:38 Adam Yeah, but the guy, if he has a will and everything, he allegedly dies of old age, dies when he's 80, 85 years old. What's he up there at 81? Hacking through all the ceilings, George?

16:49 Drew Measuring, yeah. Measuring stresses in the floor.

16:53 Adam Courtney?

16:54 Caller Yes?

16:55 Adam You're 24?

16:57 Caller Yes, I am.

16:58 Adam What's up?

16:59 Caller Well, I guess I could tell you how I got to this point. Pretty much, I want to get over being reserved and conservative in bed. I had this brought up to me by my ex-boyfriend, which I didn't really know I was that conservative. But he kind of left me for somebody else and said that it was because I wasn't willing to do anything. But he never really brought it up to me because...

17:25 Drew Well, he's just an ass. Come on. That's ridiculous.

17:28 Caller Yeah, I definitely know that now. But...

17:31 Cypress Hill What do you mean by conservative, though? Like what? Like you let your hair down, you're letting them fly in there or what?

17:37 Caller Well, I don't know. That's the thing. Like ever since this got brought up to me, I started, you know, I just, I want to be a better lover. I realize this, you know, it could be a problem, something like that in the future. So I want to get what is it you're doing?

17:48 Drew What is it you're doing or not?

17:49 Adam Well, it's not doing it. She's being self-conscious.

17:52 Caller I already, I think it is a subconscious thing. I'm not exactly sure because I've tried all kinds of positions, you know, like I know how to get off, but it's hard for me to get off with a guy because it just takes forever. So that might be part of it.

18:06 Adam Hold on a second. What? Here's the problem. When women, it's like it's like either you can dance or you can't. And then when you try to tell somebody to dance, you can't really dance. They just look like some skinny drunken guy from a wedding video who's just making an ass himself is like a CPA and he's taken loose. He looks like an idiot. When you tell a woman is not sexy to sex it up, they look like a guy who's just wearing a bra and high heels and doing their version of what a guy would do when they're there wouldn't. You know what I mean? It doesn't work. I don't think you can go that route.

18:42 Drew Well, yeah, that's why I'm trying to wonder what is she's maybe just fine.

18:45 Adam She might be fine. She might find a guy who's as boring as she is sexually. But number two, you want to like help a guy out, let him run a porn movie while he's nailing you. Like there's something you can do and you don't have to move a muscle.

18:58 Caller Yeah, he can kind of show her away and kind of bring it out of her. You know, it's possible.

19:07 Adam The guy's got to do it, she's got to be pliable.

19:09 Drew She has to be there.

19:10 Adam She has to be there. And a couple of wine coolers aren't going to hurt. Let's be honest.

19:15 Drew Some state of near-consciousness is what you're saying, right?

19:18 Caller I completely agree with that. I'm open to all of it. I'm open to watching porn. I'm open to everything.

19:23 Drew What specifically? I've not heard yet what he was complaining about specifically.

19:27 Caller That's my thing is I'm not exactly sure. I've done I've pretty much broken out of my shell since you know about four or five months have gone by and he still says like, oh, well, the other girl is better.

19:40 Drew And that is kind of he just sent me an abusive idiot. Don't don't.

19:44 Adam Yeah, he's an a-hole.

19:45 Cypress Hill Yeah. I mean, I can see if you didn't want to try any positions or something like that. But you're saying, you know, you're down to play ball with him and he's still cramming on you. So I think that's just him being an idiot.

19:55 Adam Plus some some guys, too. And it's an interesting strategy. They get busted cheating and they just turn it. A lot of guys just every they don't have a defense. They just have an offense. They get busted cheating. All of a sudden, they find somebody's got low self-esteem and they just turn the mirror on them. They start complaining. And next, you know, the chick gets on the defense. She starts backpedaling and you forget all about him screwing your friend.

20:18 Drew Really?

20:18 Adam The guy's an idiot.

20:19 Drew That's a bad guy.

20:20 Adam And he's screwing with your self-esteem. Just find some guy. But listen, what are some what are some what are some no calorie burning things a woman can do to spice up a sex life?

20:31 Drew You've done it.

20:31 Adam Let the guy turn the porn on. That's a nice that's something doesn't cost you a penny. A couple of kilowatts, maybe.

20:38 Drew You guys want to see enthusiasm, not necessarily energy expenditure, but just to know that you're saying what can you do that's got that?

20:46 Adam Well, you don't have to change a thing. Turn on the porn. That's good. Guy, let him let him turn the light on a little bit. Ah, you know what everyone needs? Everyone needs the dimmer switch in their bedroom because here's the deal. Dark is no good. I mean, we can't see your hand in front of your face. That's no good sexually. But the you know, on the other hand, you don't see a pimple on an ass winking at you either, because it's like it's it's like like you're doing surgery in there. You know what I mean? You don't want too much light. You got to set it just right. You know what I'm saying? So you need that. Also, you need a lock on your bedroom door, too. You don't need by coming in there while you're doing whatever it is you're doing. But let the guy turn the light up a little bit. Let the guy turn the porn on a little bit. Yeah, that's good.

21:29 Drew Yeah. And I'm just thinking if she doesn't want to spend much energy, but wants to get more involved, they would just let the guy not spend any energy.

21:37 Adam Yeah.

21:38 Drew She just whatever she does is fine.

21:40 Adam Guys, it ain't hold on.

21:41 Cypress Hill She sounds like she's trying to throw down. No.

21:42 Caller Yeah.

21:43 Adam Yeah.

21:43 Caller Sounds pretty interesting to me.

21:45 Adam And then there's there's always the back door. That's, you know, the ultimate price.

21:50 Cypress Hill Back door lover.

21:51 Drew No, no, we're going to take a break. Yeah.

21:52 Adam Cody.

21:53 Drew Hello.

21:54 Adam You're 16.

21:55 Caller Yep.

21:56 Adam You you like biting and being bit.

21:59 Caller Well, that wasn't my main question. My main question was, is there ever like a time where you have like a fetish, like being bitten, biting, and there isn't, you know, some deep psychological reason behind it?

22:12 Adam That's related to the same question.

22:15 Drew All right.

22:16 Adam Hold on a second. All right.

22:20 Drew Yeah, you can tell there's nothing deep psychological going wrong with Cody.

22:23 Adam No, Cody, shake her head sounds like a paint can. Oh, wow.

22:27 All right.

22:28 Adam Here's we'll get back to this. But the interesting question, can you like something a little bit weird and not be f'ed up? Can that just specifically be your thing? Yes. But you ain't you ain't screwed up.

22:40 Drew So we'll return to talk about Adam and his big jug preoccupation.

22:43 Adam Yeah, that's healthy.

22:45 Yeah. Uh-huh.

22:45 Drew There we go.

22:46 Adam Bobo Sendog both here from Cypress Hill. B-Real will be around here in the next. Well, when he's good and ready, I guess that's the new B-Real.

22:55 Wow.

22:56 Adam And Smokeout taking place this Saturday. Yes, sir. I imagine you can still get tickets just because the place probably holds. It's huge. 80 million people. But some big names playing this week.

23:09 Caller Lincoln Park and DMX, Pennywise, Papa Roach, Body Count, The Original, you know.

23:16 Adam You go there just to see one of those bands.

23:18 Cypress Hill Super Joint Ritual.

23:19 Adam And then, of course, Cypress Hill. We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back.

23:31 Caller Hour, two Americans under the age of 25 are infected with HIV. Protect yourself. Call toll-free 1-866-344-KNOW.

23:47 Adam Hey, buddy, it's Loveline. I'm Adam Nets, Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Papa Roach in here tomorrow night, Cypress Hill in here tonight, Bobo and Sendog both here. B-Real may or may not be here. We don't need them anymore. We don't. We're doing fine without them. We did first break. It was all rocky at the beginning. I think we're all, we're all felt as absence, but we can hit our stride toward the end, and I think we've become cohesive now.

24:14 Drew It'd be weird now if he shows up.

24:16 Adam Yeah, yeah. It throws us off. We've got a team here. Yeah, we're together. And we've got a little synergy here, and also what we have here is a symmetry. That's what I want to say. We've got two and two here. Fifth, man, that's a fifth wheel. That'll throw you right off. That's a third. That's a third boob. We don't need that. You know what I'm saying? I don't need a third nut or a third boob or what else, Drew?

24:40 Drew A third eye.

24:40 Adam I don't need a.

24:41 Drew Third nostril.

24:42 Adam I could use a third eye.

24:43 Drew Third nostril.

24:43 Adam Yeah, no, no, I'll take one of those two. I'll do Coke out of that one and breathe out the other ones.

24:48 Drew Finally, you need an extra one. Finally breathe out the other one.

24:50 Adam Yeah, you need a drug nostril.

24:52 Drew Yeah.

24:53 Adam That's what I need.

24:54 Drew That makes sense. And everyone knows that's called a drug port.

24:56 Adam Drug port. You know what? I'm thinking that people in the future, you may have a drug port. Like instead of the nostrils and the lungs and the shooting and the veins and everything, you just have a universal jack like on your hip, just above like your left hip, you just plug in, whatever it is. It doesn't matter if it's pot, it doesn't matter if it's Coke or Speed or X, booze, whatever, it all goes in there. Hands are free. I can talk to you.

25:20 Caller You'd make a killing off your inventions.

25:25 Adam You could hook the beer bong right, you snap it right into that. I'd get one. Yeah, it'd be good. You plug the, it's a universal drug jack, we call it, you just snap that jack right in there and it's fine and that way, so you know I like to talk to her? No. It's hard to get drunk and talk at the same time.

25:42 Drew Oh yeah, well I was gonna get drunk.

25:44 Adam It makes a gurgling sound.

25:45 Drew I was gonna have you get a gastrostomy tube for that.

25:47 Adam So I could just, just pump the grain alcohol into that and never stop talking.

25:53 Caller I could see the infomercial now. Two o'clock in the morning.

25:59 Adam The big smokeout, the sixth annual smokeout is gonna take place this Saturday and that is at, oh, where the hell is that? That's at the Orange Fairgrounds.

26:11 Cypress Hill Yeah, the Orange Fairgrounds.

26:13 Adam That's right. It's just a stone's throw away from Los Angeles. Probably a little closer if you're in the Arizona, Nevada area, actually. We'll hop back to the phones and speak to Cody who's 16. Cody? Yeah, so you like a little biting, but you don't think there's anything, you don't think you have any problems other than that.

26:39 Caller Yeah, I was like, you know, cause you had a girl on before and like instantaneously you went, well, did your dad leave? Were you abused? And I was thinking, well, I like, you know, biting and being bitten and I can't think of a single goddamn thing.

26:56 Drew Until you, you like biting? Do you like biting until there's blood drawn?

27:03 Caller No.

27:04 Drew Okay. Well that was what sort of got us down that path with the other girl. She liked drawing blood.

27:10 Caller Just a little Pac-Man love.

27:12 Drew Now, what I did say was that biting is a, is an expression of aggression and it's usually a primitive aggression. And it, there are reasons that people get into that, but it doesn't mean that you're totally messed up. It doesn't mean you're, it doesn't mean anything specifically or just that she really, there's some other things about her taking what they were.

27:27 Adam I'll tell you what means you're messed up though. When you, when you call the radio show to announce that you're not messed up, it usually makes us suspicious. Yeah.

27:36 Drew It does, that's true.

27:38 Sure.

27:39 Adam No, listen, I know you're, you're, I know you're very sarcastic.

27:44 I am very sarcastic.

27:45 Adam Yeah, well, you seem a little angry. What's up?

27:48 Caller I'm not angry.

27:49 Adam Well, why'd you call us and bother us?

27:59 Drew Oh, boy.

28:00 Adam You see, remember I said a little angry?

28:02 Drew She's mad. Yes.

28:04 Adam Yeah, it's weird, you know, it's funny. If you saw her in real life, she's probably cute and you end up getting, you end up getting distracted by that. I don't know if it's blinded, but it's at least affected.

28:16 Drew You miss things, yeah.

28:17 Adam Yeah, you miss things.

28:18 Caller She's only 16. Imagine, like, 21.

28:20 Drew Our listeners didn't get to hear the little F-bomb.

28:22 Adam She dropped the F-bomb. But here's the point. You can tell more about a person by just listening to their tone and their cadence and their voice than you can if you see them. You know, people want to know, how do you know so much you haven't even met the person, haven't even seen the person? That screws things up. It's better not to see them. Cody, a little angry.

28:40 Drew Yeah, whatever.

28:41 Adam Now, here's the deal. You want to dig at it or you just want to screw her? You do? She's going to be tough. Cody. Cody, I think she hung up. Yeah, I think she's probably hung up.

28:55 Drew Yeah, she's pissed off. Because we put her on hold.

28:59 Caller That's it.

29:00 Adam Well, here's the thing. 10 seconds earlier, I called her angry and then she denied it and then dropped the F-bomb. Cody. All right. So I think you're angry.

29:14 Caller Yeah, I'm a little angry.

29:15 Adam Why? What's up?

29:20 Drew Well, why?

29:20 Adam Why?

29:21 Drew Why is that part of your personality?

29:23 Hmm, I have no idea.

29:26 Caller Well, okay.

29:27 Adam Everyone, everyone good to you growing up? You have any reason to be angry?

29:31 I don't think so.

29:33 Cypress Hill You just like being bitchy for the hell of it or what?

29:35 Sure, I guess.

29:36 Drew No, Cody, those kinds of answers don't wash.

29:39 Adam Why? Well, could be.

29:40 Cypress Hill They don't wash.

29:41 Caller It could just be kind of spoiled.

29:42 Adam You spoiled? You're cute.

29:47 Caller I've been told so. I don't think so, though.

29:49 Adam All right, that's good. Maybe that's why you're mad. Are your parents still together? And they treat you right?

29:58 Drew Do you have any brothers and sisters?

30:00 Caller One younger brother.

30:04 Adam What's your dad do? Your dad makes a good living? He's an attorney or something?

30:08 Caller No, he's an illustrator.

30:09 Drew How much pot do you smoke, Cody?

30:11 Caller I don't.

30:12 Drew Have you been depressed at all?

30:16 Caller I used to be depressed when I was like 13.

30:18 Drew Yeah, depression at 13, little unusual.

30:21 Adam Dad's an illustrator. He's got to be on the weed. What kind of illustrator? What does he do?

30:27 Caller He works at a Hanson Dodge in Sutter, or just Hanson Dodge now.

30:32 Adam Oh yeah, that's right.

30:33 Drew Down there on Main Street?

30:34 Adam Sutter's got a golden parachute and cut loose early. I remember talking about that last night. What's he illustrate over there?

30:42 Caller For like advertisements. He does the journal Sentinel newspaper boxes. He has illustrations all like that and for just normal advertisements. Most magazines and stuff.

30:56 Adam All right, is he a good guy? You like him?

30:57 Yeah, he's cool.

30:59 Adam Yeah, you have a good life?

31:00 Caller Yeah.

31:01 Drew He's your friend's? Wait, wait, he's your biological father?

31:04 Caller Yeah.

31:05 Drew But again, some of this irritability and stuff we're hearing may be depression, Cody.

31:09 Adam Yeah.

31:10 Drew And maybe you're biologic, if you're sort of saying everything's been sort of developmentally and psychologically perfect for you, maybe you're sort of biologically inclined to depression and maybe that's where that anger's coming from, that irritability, okay?

31:24 Adam Let me look into it. What do you do?

31:26 Drew Oh, 16, she knows everything.

31:27 Adam Well, what do you do? Do you go to a doctor? What do you do?

31:30 Drew No, she was just curious and we're just answering. She doesn't have to do anything if she doesn't bother by something.

31:34 Adam Well, but what if somebody is irritable and they're angry and their life is good and their parents are good?

31:41 Drew At 16, nothing.

31:42 Adam Nothing? It's just a pain in the ass? Is there a six-year-old chick who's not a pain in the ass?

31:47 Drew Yeah.

31:48 Adam Really?

31:48 Drew Sure.

31:49 Adam Who?

31:49 Drew They're out there. They're not the cute ones like this.

31:52 Adam Oh, okay.

31:54 Drew Yeah.

31:55 Adam What is that? Speaking of illustrator, I was thinking about like, you know, once I want to pick up the newspaper, I look at the funnies and I read like peanuts and I realize how badly it sucks and how much and then it's like, well, it sucked when Schultz was alive and it sucks now. And then I thought to myself, hey, if you don't have anything today or this week, don't do it. Like just leave it blank. I just realized that once in a while I see like a USA, like they have their poll and on USA Today, the polls are like the lower left and they'll go, Americans, their consumption of garbanzo beans by age group. And I think to myself, okay, you don't have anything. You got nothing today.

32:35 Caller Let it go.

32:35 Adam Let's leave it blank. Put a square there. That'll let me know that instead of something crappy, you chose to do nothing.

32:42 Caller That's right.

32:43 Adam And I respect that.

32:44 Drew We gotta give that coaching, those words to most of the sort of television program.

32:49 Adam Yeah, maybe you don't have a show for this way.

32:51 Drew Just white noise.

32:52 Adam Yeah, look, if you're doing another comic strip of peanuts where Lucy's gonna move the ball just before Charlie Brown goes for the field goal, you got nothing. You got nothing. Just don't put anything there. Or just put like a little PSA, like kids don't smoke. How about a little positive affirmation? Hey, looking good. Something like that. You don't have anything, that's fine. If you start looking at USA Today and start looking at the little stuff, the little polls or number of Americans who, you realize they got nothing almost every day. And if you look at the funny pages, you just start going down and realize it. Marmaduke, nah, that's nothing, they got nothing. And here's the thing, evidently it's a tall order to make something funny on a daily basis. You just gotta admit it's too tall an order and just quit. And it's like, again.

33:42 Drew See, let's be real. Sorry.

33:44 Adam What's going on, phones ringing? Weatherman, Weatherman should do the same thing. Like it's gonna be 73 and a little cloudy or something, you got nothing.

33:52 Drew Weatherman tonight on the local Los Angeles station, I think it was five, it might've been nine, was apologizing and saying he can't predict where it's going. Don't know where it came from. They nobody expected anything like this. And what are you gonna do?

34:06 Adam Well, that's what I like.

34:07 Drew Yeah.

34:08 Adam That's what I want.

34:09 Drew You must be listening.

34:10 Adam I want people to say I got nothing. I want the weather guy to go, man, I got nothing tonight. Let's just extend the sports. That's all right. I agree. I wouldn't, I'd respect the guy for that. Tina? You're 21? You tell us what's crackin.

34:33 Drew See, we like, see how people make you feel the moment you engage with them.

34:37 Adam Tina's in a good mood. What's up, Tina?

34:41 Caller Well, I'm 21 years old and I have a little problem with guys. See, I'm very like black. I can't even pass the light skin and dark skin, but I'm pretty much like a rocker. You know, I wear my spikes and my spike belt. And I like black guys and I like white guys. And it just I have a problem because most of the black guys I like are not really in the rock like I am. And then most of the white guys are like not really in the real black comments. So I kind of fall in between. I don't really seem to hold anybody's interest. I don't understand.

35:17 Adam I don't know why. Who cares about the music so much? Yeah, you know, fans decide.

35:21 Cypress Hill So listen, I think she's talking more like lifestyle, like the way she looks or appears to be like.

35:27 Adam Right. OK. Well, I mean, you got to find the guys into you. And by the way, white guys should be pretending like they're in the ramp because they're scared. You understand what white guys do. Oh, no, I'm hit, my man.

35:38 Caller Well, word up.

35:39 Adam Word up.

35:41 Caller Give me eight.

35:45 Adam You know, you like you become like the white cop on Sanford and Son, where you go far up, you know, I know how to talk, talk. Oh, Drew knows hip hop. Anderson, find Drew talking hip hop.

35:59 Drew If you had a hissy, you'd be out of the house.

36:08 Caller Well, shizzle my nizzle.

36:10 Adam Yeah. So, hey, Tina.

36:13 Drew Yes.

36:13 Caller Yes.

36:14 Drew Why don't you got no play, playa?

36:17 Caller Well, I got two guys right now. They're like totally different. And one is he has like a band, everything, a white guy, but a little nervous to bring me home to mom. And then the other guy is just a straight out gangster. I don't know if I can bring him home to mom.

36:40 Cypress Hill Hey, what do you look like? Like describe yourself.

36:44 Caller Well, dark skin, about I am five, four and a half. I weigh like 155 pounds and I'm big black girl shape, you know, the big hips, you know, I got C cup, whatever going on. And I'm a pretty attractive young lady. I do say so myself. I don't have no problem getting them. The problem with keep this, they're interested for a minute. Then they can't figure me out.

37:09 Drew Do you scare them?

37:10 Adam Scaring me.

37:13 Caller What's scary about me?

37:16 Drew Just to overwhelm them. You know, it's something about relationships. You need to maintain a healthy distance. You know what I mean? There's sort of an optimal distance that everybody needs to maintain in a relationship. And some people just blow right through those boundaries and just, you know, intrude and people start pushing back. Guys are very much that way.

37:32 Caller They guys may not know what to do, how to handle that.

37:36 Adam And plus, most guys want to relax a little. Once they get past the sex, they want to just sort of relax. And if every day is Halloween, it seems like it's too much work.

37:47 Drew Too much energy, yeah.

37:48 Adam Yeah.

37:49 Caller Oh, I'm not that bad. But I do wear my spikes every day on my wrist.

37:54 Drew No, but she means like if you just can't turn it off, if you can't just cool down.

37:59 Adam Yeah, what I mean is, is some people like I always wonder about this. People commit to a certain life and then it becomes they have to do that every day. Like I always think about the guys are like rockabilly guys. They always got to drive a beat up fifties car. They always have to have their hair slick back. They got to wear boots and jeans. And if they want to go to the corner to get a quart of milk, they can't just put some sweatpants on and a T-shirt. They got to get their whole outfit on and stuff. And it's just got to be a pain in the ass. It's like every day you got to... It's like dressing up. It's like you're in some sort of army and this is the uniform, you know? What about the flexibility of just making a declaration of, hey, I'm into whatever's good. I like this a little more than that, but I don't have to start dressing that way. And I'll date whoever I'm attracted to, whether it's black or white or hip hop or into ACDC. You know what I mean?

38:51 Drew Yeah, and Tina is a little manicky.

38:53 Adam Tina feels like a commitment to be with Tina. Yeah, like you got to you got to embrace the lifestyle. You got to you got to be in the cult of Tina. Otherwise, there's going to be trouble.

39:02 Cypress Hill She kind of sounds like she doesn't know what she wants. Just like if she wants to be like a thug's girlfriend or this rocker dude's girlfriend. She's kind of like stuck in the middle. What turns her on more?

39:13 Adam Tina. Tina, I'll tell you what you need to do. What do you need? You need you smoke pot? Yes, I do. Oh, and that hasn't even slowed you down, huh? Maybe you need to start eating pot. That really slows you down. Now, listen, Tina, here's what you need to do. You need to you need to step outside the spikes, the music and just find a guy you like and let him get to know Tina, not rocker Tina, not black Tina, just Tina.

39:42 Caller Oh, no, you didn't.

39:44 Caller All right, baby.

39:49 Caller I'm scared of her right now.

39:51 Adam Once in a while, like you go to the woman, like, like you go, like, hey, baby, I could sex you up and they go, I'm going to have you all night.

39:59 Caller You're like, oh, oh, oh, still a laugh going to a crazy laugh.

40:05 Adam Send dogs here tonight. Bobo's here tonight from Cypress Hill. We'll take ourselves a little bit of a break. Big smoke out coming out coming up this Saturday and we'll be right back. What?

40:38 Drew Dostoevsky played Tesla Derbavilles in a movie.

40:44 Adam Nobody cares, sir. Cypress Hill here tonight. Bobo Sundog here tonight. B-Real. He's dead to me, man. I may not even let him give me a bud next time I see him. I may not.

40:59 Cypress Hill I don't want it. You're taking it to an extreme, man.

41:01 Adam He's hurt.

41:03 Drew It's kind of weird that he's not here. I'm kind of worried about him.

41:05 Adam I'll be like, all right, this will be the last novelty size bud I take from you, but don't get cocky. This can be the last one.

41:14 Cypress Hill I don't know, man. Things are looking good over there. You might want to take it anyways.

41:19 Adam Playing the Sixth Annual Cypress Hill Smokeout, by the way, that's coming up this Saturday. It's at the Orange Fairgrounds.

41:26 Caller Yes.

41:26 Cypress Hill That's right.

41:27 Adam And what time are the gates open?

41:30 Caller Well, I think it's going to be like 11. I think it says 12 to 12, you know, but usually it runs into one or two in the morning. All the time, it just goes over.

41:40 Adam Now, don't you guys like I know that from doing enough of these things that if you go past they pick a time like midnight for the insurance, for the security, for the stage people, for all the lighting and the tech people, it's like, I don't know, something ridiculous. It's like five grand every 15 minutes or something once or maybe more once you pass a certain threshold. You guys must have to deal with that too, right?

42:06 Caller I mean, yeah, there's some times, but usually some of those places are run by like a union or something and they have to be like on the dot or that's my point.

42:15 Adam That's my point. I mean, if you guys are going midnight to midnight or I'm sorry, 12 to midnight and someone's running long and it's cost the meters running. I mean, it's thousands of dollars a minute. Aren't you just going to run out and pull the plug or or shoot somebody with a crossbow or something?

42:33 Caller I don't know. I mean, we've gone over a few years and not that I know of.

42:39 Drew They just spark up another fan.

42:40 Caller It hasn't come out of my pocket. So I'm I'm all right.

42:42 Adam Let me tell you. Let me tell you something. That's that is that's what Rock's all about. That's what Cypress Hill is all about. They don't care about the man. They don't care about the bottom line. They don't care about a buck. They care about the kids having a good time doing it, getting their money's worth. And if something happens, something happens, right, Drew?

43:00 Drew Yeah.

43:01 Adam What do you guys got there to eat like a jerk chicken and hot dogs?

43:06 Caller Man, they've got the whole thing. It's like a big, huge food court.

43:10 Cypress Hill I have a filet mignon and Alaskan crab and stuff like that.

43:15 Drew Really?

43:16 Adam Yeah. That's what you guys got. The kids. Kids are eating frozen fish sticks, right?

43:20 Cypress Hill Yeah. I mean, now there's good food. There's like burritos and hot dogs and hamburgers and stuff.

43:25 Adam I'll tell you something.

43:26 Cypress Hill It's a fairground so that, you know, it has decent food, not like.

43:29 Adam Let me, let me, I think we've tapped into something here, which is this is why this country kicks the ass of every other country in the world, which is when you go, ah, here's what I'm going to say. You go to the ballpark, you go to the, especially if you go to the racetrack or something, here's your choice, racetrack food. They do everything. They set the price, they set the quality, it's all that. So what do you get? You get a hot dog for seven bucks, it sucks, right? I mean, that's what you get. You get S food. You go to one of these things, and I've been to a bunch of them, and it's every man for themselves. It's, it's booze competing against each other. All of a sudden, you got some Philly cheesesteak, you got some jerk chicken, you got some catfish, you got some ribs, and it's reasonable, and it's good, and it's game on. And that's what this country is about.

44:16 Drew Competition.

44:17 Adam Yes. Yes. The ballpark, that's the communist. That's what you get. You get a long line and an $8 hot dog. Yes?

44:24 Drew Yes.

44:24 Adam God bless America.

44:25 Drew Time for one call.

44:26 Adam That's right. Well, listen, I think my patriotic message is more important than a screwed up kiss. Sherry?

44:34 Drew Sherry.

44:34 Adam Sherry? You're 15?

44:37 Caller Yeah.

44:39 Adam Oh yeah, you were all screwed up last night?

44:42 Caller No.

44:46 Adam We're shooting heroin, right?

44:47 Caller Yeah. I take your advice, but I couldn't go to the hospital last night because I couldn't get a ride, but I had my old man come pick me up from school.

44:57 Drew Your old man? Your father?

45:00 Caller No, my boyfriend.

45:01 Drew 15? Calling someone the old man?

45:03 Adam Let me explain. Let me say something too. There's a little confusion about the old man versus the dad. The old man is the boyfriend.

45:10 Drew Yeah, but at 15. If you were 19, I understood. 15?

45:14 Caller Well, he is my old man. He's 28.

45:17 Drew Oh.

45:20 Caller He's a little bit more than that.

45:22 Drew Anyway, so what did they do for you? Put you on some antibiotics? Some Keflex or something? Cipro? Keflex?

45:28 Adam This guy sounds like a delight, by the way. He's dating a 15-year-old who's slamming heroin.

45:33 Drew Go ahead.

45:35 Caller Well, see, I've had one. I had a staph infection about a year ago.

45:43 Drew You mentioned that last night. You've got another one.

45:47 Caller You've got another one. You've got another one. You've got another one.

45:59 Drew Zithromax?

46:00 Caller Yeah.

46:01 Drew Oh, I don't think that's going to work.

46:02 Caller I think that's what they put me on. I don't know.

46:05 Drew All right.

46:06 Adam So the question is...

46:09 Caller I'm, I'm really going to try and stop during heroin.

46:15 Drew Yeah. Well, that's something, that's something you can't try to stop doing. That's something you can choose to get treatment for and maybe hopefully it will stop. But it's not something you can control by yourself. That's just the nature of the condition. So get some treatment. Okay?

46:28 Adam Get some treatment. And drop the old man while you're at it. I can't. I know. He's a horrible criminal, believe me. You'll know. And believe me, and we hear this all the time, you'll be 25 or you'll be 30 or you'll be 40. And you might not be, actually, if you don't quit doing the dope. But you'll get older, you'll look back on this, and you'll realize what a creep this guy was.

46:53 Drew By 20, she'll be shuddering.

46:55 Adam Yeah, you'll shudder. Yeah. Like a lot of my ex-girlfriends would do.

46:58 Drew For different reasons.

46:59 Adam I know. We're going to take a little break. Cypress Hill here tonight, Smoke Out this Saturday. We'll be right back.

47:07 Caller Alright guys, here's the deal.

47:09 Caller Look in the hookup.

47:10 Caller Call the Dateline.

47:10 Caller Stick a waist in time with the wrong person.

47:12 Caller Call the Dateline.

47:13 Caller One call is all you need to make.

47:15 Caller Call the Dateline.

47:15 Caller 1-877-889. Date.

47:20 Caller You know what I'm saying, I'm dead?

47:47 Adam Thanks for watching! There, buddy, it's Loveline.

47:48 Cypress Hill I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew.

47:49 Adam Phone number, 1-800-L-O-V-E-191. Papa Roach in here tomorrow night, Cypress Hill. Tonight, Bobo and Sendog both here. B-Real, we hear, is getting closer to the studio.

47:59 Cypress Hill He's en route.

48:00 Drew He went to Westwood One.

48:01 Caller Yes, Westwood One. That's where I was going.

48:05 Adam He should be here in time for the morning show. That's my prediction. Surprise guest on Kevin and Bean tomorrow. Perfect. B-Real. All right, the Sixth Annual Smokeout is what we're talking about. That's at the Orange Fairgrounds and that is this Saturday. And Lincoln Park's gonna be in here. They were in here the other night. And DMACC's gonna be there. And Pennywise, Pennywise, oh Pennywise. Pennywise has a pretty huge following. Oh, look who's here. Mr. Showbiz.

48:41 Cypress Hill Totally rock and roller.

48:43 Caller Where the hell were you?

48:45 Adam This is an outrage.

48:46 Cypress Hill There's some dirty bastards who owe me money. So I went to collect it.

48:50 Adam All right, you know the beauty of this show. I know other shows would care. We don't care. And don't take that as a compliment necessarily. We're fine when the guests show. We're fine when they don't show. We're fine when they show halfway in the show. I don't know why that is. I look at this more me time, Drew. That's the way I look at it.

49:10 Drew Yeah, more time for you to talk.

49:14 Cypress Hill I've been listening to all the talking.

49:18 Adam I'll be real. It's great to see you, buddy.

49:21 Cypress Hill It's great to see you guys, too, man. I almost didn't see you guys because, you know, I totally didn't know that you guys had moved.

49:28 Caller I was on the way over there, too.

49:30 Cypress Hill See, I did something I never do. I assumed that you guys were still over there.

49:35 Adam Yeah, we moved about, well, it's been three months.

49:39 Cypress Hill But I did that when I went to visit Stryker, too. Remember that?

49:42 Adam You went to the wrong studio? Yeah. Well, let me ask you, B, because I know I was just asking Bobo about this and they have a good answer. If the show is 12 to 12, right, what happens when you run over 12? Does it cost you thousands of dollars?

49:59 Cypress Hill Well, usually they give you a fine, but, you know, if you have a good relationship with them, you know, they might go easy, depending how much time that is. If it's like five, ten minutes, it's no big deal. But if you go like an hour, yeah, then they have to, you know, because it's union and everything. So right.

50:16 Adam And how many people can this Orange Fairgrounds hold?

50:20 Drew This is the huge one.

50:21 Cypress Hill Well, yeah, that this is the original place, which, you know, it's basically there's really no limit to how many we can fit because they'll still open it up. You know, if people come, it'll just keep getting wider. So I think on the third one, which was our biggest, you know, one with with the show was, I think, about sixty five thousand people.

50:44 Drew Yeah, I remember him saying fifty thousand.

50:46 Cypress Hill Yeah, somewhere around that mark. So, yeah, it's a we're going to see if we get a lot of people.

50:52 Adam Let's see if we're going to eclipse that record.

50:54 Cypress Hill We got to get a hundred this year, man. You know, you know, it's it's the West Coast Woodstock. Let's do it, baby. Come on.

51:01 Adam Sixth annual. Can you believe that?

51:03 Cypress Hill When are you going to come host it for us, man?

51:05 Adam I'm coming out on the 10th.

51:07 Cypress Hill I mean, everybody already. That's a special one.

51:10 Adam I want to make sure it's established and I'm going to be there for the special one.

51:14 Cypress Hill Well, you want to be there for the 10th. All right. Well, yeah, OK. That'll be all right.

51:20 Adam I got to go to Jimmy's birthday party this Saturday, by the way. He gets angry if you don't show up. I got to tell you something. You got to get him a nice gift. It's tough.

51:30 Drew Really?

51:30 Adam He's got a lot of stuff. Yes. You get him something barbecue related.

51:33 Drew That's good.

51:34 Adam You know what I'm going to do? I think I wish someone would do this for me. I did get someone to do this for me, but he's giving you a hint there, Drew. I want you know what I want? I want the beer of the month, the wine of the month, the coffee of the month. I want to sign up for a big of the month thing, right? It's a nice gift because instead of getting them some gift certificate that they lose or something crappy that they forget, every month you get a couple bottles of nice wine or you get a couple sacks of nice coffee all from different parts of the world and all that stuff. And I'm even thinking about just buying that for myself. But it's weird to buy yourself of the month stuff.

52:09 Cypress Hill What about a sack of wheat of the month?

52:12 Adam I'd be up for that too. You didn't mention that.

52:14 Cypress Hill I noticed that one.

52:15 Adam That would be a great business. I get the feeling that the man would get involved with that.

52:24 Cypress Hill Keep it on the hush.

52:25 Adam But the of the month is a good idea. Yeah, it is.

52:28 Caller It's coming up with great ideas tonight.

52:30 Cypress Hill Yeah, I've been hearing that. You know, I was listening.

52:33 Adam Later on, I'm going to tell you about my attack crows. Because this is something I really feel strongly about. Forget it. Just lose. I know you guys have to travel with some security. Forget about them. Lose them. I don't know what these guys cost. It got to be a couple grand a month, whatever. Attack crows. First off, you don't have to pay them anything. You just have to feed them. Number two, they never come in the building. They don't know sexual harassment. There's no trouble with them. They don't get drunk and urinate on a potted plant. They just sit out front of the building. That's it. They all just wait for you to come back out.

53:06 Drew And they look about as mean as the 300 pound guy.

53:08 Adam Yeah, they do. There's like 15 of them. And they just circle around. You walk around. They're over your head. Any trouble? They just come down. And I don't care how big you are. I don't care if you're 12th degree black belt. Crows coming at your head. You're just a...

53:23 Drew You're flailing. The point when you came up with this idea we didn't know is that crows apparently are very smart birds.

53:28 Adam They're crazy.

53:29 Drew Very mean.

53:30 Adam They're mean. They're just what you want in security. They got a beak. They got the talons. They fly. No 350 pound ex-football player, Blue's Neow could do that, right? And they're mean as hell. They're smart as hell. And you get a whole bunch of them. I mean there's abundance of these things. And I was saying like I want the police force to use these things too. Like there's a hostage situation. Get the attack crows. And they're expendable. So one takes a bullet. No big deal. We got tons of crows out here. Eat the crow. Just stuff it. Put on the mantle. Whatever you want. No tears shed if a crow dies, right? But mean as hell. And if you're a guy and you're holding a gun and you're standing in front of a bank, crows coming at you, like those North Hollywood bank robbers. They're spraying bullets everywhere. What a bunch of crows were coming at their head the whole time. You can't shoot a crow and they're all jumping on your head. All you can do is run when a crow's coming after you. And you have like 20 of them and they're all pawing it and you're going for the eyes. We could train crows to do this.

54:35 Drew It would be Iraq now. It would be an utopia.

54:38 Adam They could probably find, they'd find Bin Laden.

54:41 Cypress Hill So where do you find a crow trainer?

54:43 Adam You could.

54:44 Drew I'll work that out, work that out later.

54:47 Cypress Hill They're smart.

54:48 Adam Look, they can train eagles and hawks and stuff. They land on the guy's arm. They go fly around. They come back and land. You know, guys, you know, they have hawks at the airport. The guys train the hawks to keep the seagulls and pigeons away so they don't get sucked up into the jet engines. I could attract, I could, I could, I could teach crows to do my bidding. I could train them. Yes.

55:09 Drew You'd be the crow trainer.

55:10 Adam I'd be the crow trainer.

55:11 Drew Oh, that's interesting.

55:12 Cypress Hill You'd be the crow trainer.

55:13 Adam Yeah.

55:13 Drew Here we go.

55:14 Adam Here's how I would call them.

55:15 Drew B-Real's very excited to walk in the middle of this conversation, by the way.

55:19 Caller It's one of those good ideas.

55:21 Adam I think this is strong. They fly and they're mean. And they're smart.

55:26 Brianna.

55:26 Drew Brianna.

55:28 Adam You're 17? What's happening?

55:32 Caller Like, when I was like four or so, like, bad stuff happened. I'm a pretty messed up person. Of course I'm calling the show. And some stuff has happened to me. Like, could that like affect your, like, girls-ness inside?

55:48 Drew You have to be a lot more specific.

55:50 Adam What happened? You were sexually abused?

55:52 Caller Yeah.

55:53 Adam By who?

55:54 Caller Uncle.

55:55 Adam Uncle? See, Mike Crowe could have stopped that. Guy pulls his pecker out and they go right for it. He's running with his pants around his ankles. Screaming for mercy.

56:05 Drew And what's happening now?

56:06 Caller Like, um, like now, like when I'm with my boyfriend or anything, like nothing, like having sex and everything, like I don't know, like, I'm never orgasm or anything.

56:16 Drew Well, that's kind of normal for your age.

56:18 Adam And, see, your uncle had sex with you?

56:20 Caller Um, I don't know. Like, I blocked out a lot of memory, but I'll have, like, nightmares and stuff.

56:25 Drew And what's happening in the nightmares?

56:28 Caller Um, um, I don't remember. Like, I don't know if they're, like, memories or just, like, nightmares that I'm making up.

56:34 Adam Well, are you, are you sure something happened with you and your uncle at all? And the uncle?

56:42 Caller Um, I don't know him anymore.

56:45 Adam Well, I mean, the uncle was the one that abused your sisters?

56:48 Caller Yeah.

56:49 Adam What, uh, what side of the family is he on? Dad's brother? Yes. I got nephews. I couldn't even imagine.

56:59 Drew Was he something wrong with him? Was he sick in some way? You don't know if he had neurological problems?

57:08 Adam Where is he now? Did your family find out about this?

57:11 Caller Um, I don't know. I've never told my mom or anything.

57:19 Adam How do you know he did this with your other sisters?

57:23 Caller Because they've like told my friends and stuff. And like my friends like told me and stuff.

57:29 Adam And so the dad's gone now and this was his brother?

57:32 Caller Yeah.

57:32 Drew You might want to tell your mom by the way. It's possible she could help you with this stuff.

57:38 Cypress Hill Did your sisters tell your mom?

57:41 Caller Um, I don't know. We don't really talk about that.

57:46 Cypress Hill Maybe you should.

57:47 Caller Yeah.

57:47 Drew Lots of secrets.

57:48 Adam Let me say this too. Sometimes kids don't tell their parents stuff because they just know it's like...

57:55 Drew How they're going to react.

57:56 Adam Either how they're going to react or how they're not going to react. You know what I mean? Like, I get the feeling that Brianna's mom's a little bit of a case. Am I right, Brianna? And A, you could tell her this and she could just crumble because she's one of these people that's emotionally precariously balanced. Or B, she's just ineffective. Not going to be able to do anything. Or blame Brianna. Either way, Brianna, here's the thing. You need to not get pregnant.

58:25 Drew What are you doing to prevent that?

58:27 Caller Pull out.

58:30 Caller Okay, that's effective.

58:33 Adam That's safe. That'll prevent AIDS and pregnancy.

58:36 Drew Will you please at least wear a condom?

58:40 Adam Here's why you need to not get pregnant. A, because you'll make a worse parent than one of my crows. A crow would actually be a better mother. Number one, at this point because you're a mess. And number two, you need to focus on yourself and get your stuff straight. And then when you have a kid, then all your attention turns to the kid. And the kid gets screwed up and you never get right. And it's all left up. You need to get some therapy, get some counseling, not get pregnant, not get any long term relationships. How's this guy with you? I don't trust him.

59:17 Caller We're kind of off and on, but I don't know.

59:22 Adam Can you, you have anything you want to do when you're older?

59:25 Caller I don't know. Model and just go on cruise ships and stuff.

59:30 Adam Just cruise and model? Okay. Alright. So you're pragmatic. You got your head screwed on straight.

59:36 Drew I would have been a ghost.

59:37 Adam I would have been a pirate astronaut model. That's what I want to be.

59:40 Drew Yeah, you almost were too.

59:42 Adam I want to bang models. So I want to be involved with modeling that way. And I'm down with the cruise ship part.

59:48 Cypress Hill That's a great outlet.

59:50 Adam I'd say captain of the cruise ship and then just sort of bang models who are cruising. I'd say do that. Oh, I want to be in a band. And I want to play more than one instrument at the same time. I want to play the drums and the bass.

1:00:03 Drew That would be great.

1:00:04 Adam Yeah. Okay. And the band's got to be real pop.

1:00:07 Drew Brianna, what happens when you're with your boyfriend now? He pulls that. You said you had some problem with how you felt with him when you were with him? Well, most 17-year-olds can't. And certainly not during sex. If he did during oral sex, maybe. But be that as it may, do you have feeling down there? It's not as though you're completely numb or anything like that.

1:00:28 Caller I'm not numb or anything.

1:00:29 Drew Do you have arousal? Does it feel good at all?

1:00:37 Adam What about your boyfriend? What does he do? Is he modeling? Going cruises?

1:00:41 Caller No. He just works.

1:00:43 Adam Where does he work?

1:00:44 Drew Band, the pirates.

1:00:45 Adam Something with a forklift?

1:00:46 Caller No. I don't know if I should say.

1:00:49 Adam What kind of work?

1:00:50 Drew He's an ambassador.

1:00:53 Adam Like he digs ditches or he's a roofer? He's a physical trainer. Tell us what he does.

1:01:02 Drew He doesn't know what he does. We can't have him surprised by it.

1:01:05 Adam He works on like a loading dock or something?

1:01:08 Caller No, he like delivers stuff.

1:01:15 Drew How old is he?

1:01:15 Caller Eighteen.

1:01:17 Drew Okay, that's fine.

1:01:18 Adam All right, Sabrina, get some protection if you're going to have sex, please.

1:01:23 Drew You need to alert somebody to what's happened. Maybe you can get some treatment for it. Having problems with sexual arousal would be normal. Even sexually abused, it's real common for people to go through periods of deprivation from sexuality, not being able to be sexual, and then becoming suddenly hypersexual. Some women, if there's any pain involved with the sexual abuse when they're as young as you were, will feel sort of cut off in the lower part of their body and have no arousal, no feeling.

1:01:50 Cypress Hill Right now, she feels like she's just going through the motions.

1:01:52 Drew It sounds like it, yeah. And no orgasm. It's normal for 17-year-olds.

1:01:59 Adam Are you going to high school? Get them grades up. You know, you got to have good grades. You want to be a model.

1:02:06 Drew Pirate.

1:02:07 Adam You got to do heroin. That's right. I was confused. I was thinking archaeology. I got confused. You know, it's funny when you ask people what they want to do when they're like 15, they're like, well, what do you want to do? Receive oral sex. Cure cancer. And drink yu-hu. Yeah, I know. Yeah, it's an honest answer. It's like, yeah, hey, me too. Sign me up. People don't, I guess, you know what people should say? What can you do? I think we should rephrase it from what you want to do to what can you do or what's society going to let you do? I think that's the one. Drew, you always knew, you knew you were going to be a doctor from what age?

1:02:53 Drew 14.

1:02:53 Adam 14? Why?

1:02:56 Drew Why?

1:02:56 Adam Love of medicine and your dad said he's going to kick your ass.

1:02:59 Drew Those two things?

1:03:01 Adam You ever think about it? You ever wonder? Like, hey, maybe I wasn't put here to do this.

1:03:05 Drew Oh, in college.

1:03:06 Adam Oh, you freaked out.

1:03:07 Drew Oh, yeah.

1:03:08 Adam Got stoned, stared at your finger and went, oh, man.

1:03:11 Drew In college, I completely spun.

1:03:15 Adam Well, it's...

1:03:16 Drew In fact, when I came back to it, I was like, okay, now this feels right now. It's like, okay, I'm doing this for me now kind of thing.

1:03:22 Adam All right. So you knew you were supposed to be a doctor.

1:03:26 Drew When you got back to it, yeah.

1:03:27 Adam Yeah. You just wonder, you know, you got the man telling you what to do or Cypress Hill over here, these people follow their dreams, you know, they're proud enough, they're strong enough, they're courageous enough to follow their muse, you know what I'm saying?

1:03:39 Caller Either that or lucky.

1:03:41 Adam Or lucky enough. It's not like your parents were in Cypress Hill 1 or anything, right?

1:03:45 Caller No.

1:03:48 Adam Not even war? No. Yeah. Let's just hear the horrible jobs that the guys from Cypress Hill's parents have started. Let's start with Bobo.

1:04:03 Caller Shoeshine Boy? My dad?

1:04:05 Adam Your dad was?

1:04:06 Caller Yeah, he started out, but then he started.

1:04:08 Drew That's industrious though, you know what I mean? That's like an independent operator.

1:04:11 Caller Shoeshine Boy.

1:04:12 Adam Everybody started as something horrible, but like what, when your dad was, well how old are you, Bobo? We'll go with how old, when your dad was your age, at the age you are now, what was he doing?

1:04:23 Caller He was doing music.

1:04:25 Drew Cypress Hill won.

1:04:26 Adam He crapped all over my point.

1:04:29 Caller Sorry.

1:04:29 Adam He was doing music.

1:04:30 Caller Yeah. Started at 14.

1:04:32 Adam And what was he doing? Was he producing? Was he writing?

1:04:35 Caller He had records. He had, that's how I followed like that. I thought I was going to say like, go to B, go to B. He'll have a better answer for you.

1:04:43 Drew Wait, but Bobo's following the views of the man.

1:04:46 Caller Dad's 14 and his sister.

1:04:48 Adam He's following the man. Yeah. I thought you said like shot in jail, you know, short order cook, something good, you know? B-Real, come on now. Don't disappoint me.

1:05:00 Cypress Hill What, at my age?

1:05:01 Adam What was your dad doing?

1:05:02 Cypress Hill He was a pretty crazy guy. He was probably beating people up, collecting money.

1:05:07 Adam He was? He was like a... He was like a...

1:05:11 Cypress Hill Yeah, he is...

1:05:11 Adam Enforcer?

1:05:12 Cypress Hill Could be. I don't know. You didn't know what he did? I know eventually he got into truck driving. How about that?

1:05:18 Drew There we go.

1:05:18 Adam All right, so he was driving a truck.

1:05:20 Cypress Hill Yeah. Tried to get me to do it, but, you know, obviously I made a left.

1:05:30 Drew Sorry.

1:05:33 Cypress Hill Nothing exciting, you know, he just brought home the money and, you know.

1:05:37 Drew The airport job is an interesting job.

1:05:39 Adam What'd he do?

1:05:40 Drew Like the luggage guy out on the tarmac?

1:05:43 Cypress Hill Yeah, he was like the guy that, you know, would like stand in front of the plane with the things, you know.

1:05:47 Drew Oh, really?

1:05:47 Cypress Hill And then like, you know, he'd like empty the luggage and then clean all the, you know, stuff out of it. At LAX.

1:05:55 Drew I always wonder who that is. Because they're working their ass off out there all the time.

1:06:02 Caller But he did want to jam with Cypress Hill, though.

1:06:03 Cypress Hill He did want to jam.

1:06:04 Cypress Hill He did want to jam.

1:06:05 Cypress Hill He was going to play the tambourine.

1:06:08 Cypress Hill He wanted to play congas, but I told him. That was Eric Bobo's job. He's like, Oh, Willie Bobo's kid. OK, I'll relax there. But if it was anybody else, my dad was going to chop him.

1:06:19 Adam I could see if showbiz didn't work out or whatever it is you wanted to do didn't work out. I could I could see settling in to a little groove at the airport and call it a life. I could easily do that. People you said you're not you're not a fireman, but you're not a cop. You know, you're sort of you're sort of in between a couple of roles. No one's got to beef with you. Probably make decent money because there's got to be some kind of union or some kind of something. There's a couple of little perks.

1:06:48 Cypress Hill Depends what your job is at the airport.

1:06:50 Adam Yeah, I mean, better better to be a pilot than the guy who's, you know, cleaning the head in the terminal. But still, I could I could see as you coast coast there. And it's not like, hey, bad news. They close the airport down. You're out of work. I mean, there's always always a gig, right?

1:07:07 Drew Well, no, they work for the you work for the airlines, don't you? Yeah, you work for the airlines to go down.

1:07:13 Adam Yeah, you slide over the next one.

1:07:16 Cypress Hill Well, he was able to make it happen there for a bunch of years, you know?

1:07:21 Adam But a decently crappy job. Not again. Not what I'm looking for. I'm looking for more to be real.

1:07:28 Caller Yeah, he had a higher goal.

1:07:30 Adam I'm looking. Yeah, but I'm hoping these guys were in prison or something.

1:07:35 Caller Or something like that.

1:07:36 Adam That's right.

1:07:37 Cypress Hill I was my uncle.

1:07:38 Cypress Hill My pops never served time, but he was always getting into.

1:07:42 Adam He should have been. He should have been in the joint.

1:07:44 Cypress Hill Could be.

1:07:46 Adam Yeah, you see that, Drew? That's these guys.

1:07:48 Drew I get it. Your point's well made.

1:07:50 Adam Thank you.

1:07:50 Drew Lydia.

1:07:51 Adam Yeah, it's just Bovo crapped all over it with that music. I'm sorry.

1:07:54 Drew Forgive me. You guys, we're going to play a little Germany or Florida.

1:07:58 Adam All right. Go ahead, Lydia. Germany or Florida. Yeah.

1:08:03 Caller I got a preposition to make first.

1:08:05 Drew A preposition?

1:08:07 Adam Proposition. All right.

1:08:09 Caller Okay. You're the big man over at the studio, right?

1:08:13 Drew Oh, yes. Any studio?

1:08:22 Adam What do you want to go to?

1:08:25 Caller I want to see Rancid. I mean, I'm desperate.

1:08:28 Adam Where are they playing?

1:08:30 Caller They're playing at Moore Theatre.

1:08:32 Adam Oh, you're calling from Washington State? I don't have any jurisdiction over there. I can barely get weenie roast tickets for me. Yeah, are you kidding?

1:08:43 Drew But Cypress Hill knows Rancid.

1:08:44 Adam Yeah, they know Rancid. They'll get you some tickets. But they're not gonna.

1:08:48 Caller Anyway, I was going to say I'll make you a little bet. If you can get my Germany or Florida...

1:08:51 Adam Alright, I'm so amazingly confident that I'll bet you those Rancid tickets.

1:08:58 Drew Send a 13 year old to a concert.

1:09:01 Caller Okay, a band of computer nerds created a pong game that has like a hand plate. They sit their hands on the plate. If they lose the pong ball on the screen, there's a wire they hooked up and whip them like their hands several times if they lose the ball.

1:09:18 Adam Yeah? This is Germany or Florida?

1:09:22 Caller Mm-hmm.

1:09:24 Adam I don't know if this qualifies as Germany or Florida. It's a sort of human interest, but it's nobody having sex with a corpse.

1:09:31 Drew It's not a bizarre behavior, it's just a bizarre product.

1:09:34 Adam Yeah, I'm sorry Lydia. I know you're on hold for 62 minutes. To get that out. So sorry. That was a week, but hey Lydia? You should be going to bed now. You're 13, right? Yeah. Go to sleep.

1:09:51 Cypress Hill Yeah.

1:09:52 Adam All right?

1:09:53 Caller Good night.

1:09:54 Drew Good night.

1:09:55 Cypress Hill Sleep tight.

1:09:55 Drew There she goes.

1:09:57 Caller She got mad.

1:09:59 Adam Good people though. Cypress Hill here tonight. And listen phone screeners, we got to get the Germany or Florida's. They got to be real questions. That was a little bizarre and a little bit convoluted. Yes? Thank you. Orange Fairgrounds is where the 6th annual smoke out is going to take place. That is this Saturday. And everybody who is somebody is going to be there. Lincoln Park is going to be there, DMX, Pennywise, of course, Cypress Hill and many, many others. We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back.

1:10:34 Caller My hair, my hair.

1:10:35 Caller We'll be right back.

1:10:36 Caller Loveline is brought to you by Trojan, America's most trusted condom for over 80 years.

1:10:49 Adam I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew. Papa Roach gonna be in here tomorrow night. Cypress Hill in here tonight, Send Dog and B-Real and Bobo. And the big six annual Cypress Hill Less Smokeout is what we're talking about at the Orange Fairgrounds, and that's going on this Saturday. Yes, yes. All right, let's get back to the phones and speak to Travis.

1:11:16 Caller Hey, what's up?

1:11:17 Adam Travis is 18, he's been on hold for 99 minutes.

1:11:21 Caller Yeah, seriously.

1:11:22 Adam What's up, Travis?

1:11:24 Caller Oh, I just broke up with my girlfriend a few days ago, and we've been going on for like, I don't know, like two and a half years, I think. And like I had to do it, like it was just, it was getting bad, she was getting way too jealous. Like I know I had to do it, like I understand that, but like I'm becoming depressed now, like, like anytime I'm alone, like I can't be alone. I've hooked up with like three other girls in the past, like three days.

1:11:48 Cypress Hill So what's the problem, dog? Personally, I'm glad you dumped her ass, now go have a good time.

1:11:55 Caller Uh, I feel like, I don't know, I feel dirty about it.

1:11:59 Caller Oh, get over it, Dolly, do it.

1:12:01 Caller I feel dirty, I feel dirty, I feel dirty.

1:12:04 Cypress Hill You dirty ass man, that's what it is, but you gotta feel good about that, go out there and knock it down. I don't know what you're bitching about, homeboy, you got the life.

1:12:12 Caller What?

1:12:13 Adam And how do you, by the way, see, that's it. If you dump somebody, you get to go out with momentum and nail three chicks in three nights. If they dump you, the women smell that stink of failure on you and you don't get anything. See how that works? Well, where are you meeting these girls, these new girls?

1:12:31 Caller Okay, you guys aren't, you're probably not gonna believe this, but two of them were actually identical twins and they came into my work one night. And whatever.

1:12:40 Caller What kind of work?

1:12:45 Caller Also I met one just through a friend.

1:12:46 Drew What kind of work do you do?

1:12:47 Cypress Hill Strip Club DJ.

1:12:49 Caller Oh, I don't wanna say it. I don't want anyone to like know.

1:13:16 Drew Travis, do you work in a restaurant? Food business, okay.

1:13:21 Caller Food business of a sort.

1:13:22 Drew Is that vague enough?

1:13:23 Cypress Hill They sell chicken wings at the strip club.

1:13:28 Caller Yeah, sure, go with that if you want.

1:13:29 Cypress Hill All right, well. Hey, dog, so tell me more about the twins. Like, did you hammer them both at the same time or?

1:13:34 Caller No, it was by accident that I hooked up with the other one because I like I swear to God, man, I got I got them mixed up.

1:13:39 Caller Oh, that's easy to do, right?

1:13:41 Adam Yeah.

1:13:42 Caller And I like I was like I didn't have sex with them really, but like, you know, like I got with one of them. Like I literally got with the other one and she literally called me on it like a minute later. She was like, oh, so you're going to try to hook up with me now.

1:13:54 Cypress Hill What do you mean? You did have sex with them or you did?

1:13:56 Caller No, I didn't. I've only I've only had sex with one girl, but like I've been really stupid about it. Like I don't want to get like a like a disease or anything that, you know, we'll say.

1:14:03 Adam Yeah, twins don't have diseases because they have that such a strong DNA code that it fights off any infection. Yes, Drew?

1:14:10 Drew Well, the two together fight them off.

1:14:12 Adam Right. They, they, they, they team the disease. Hi, listen, Travis over here. He's just, he was with a chick for a long time. And this is what happens, by the way, if you stay with the same chick from like the 10th grade till a year after high school, then that, then you don't, and you know no other, it's real hard to break that spell. It's hard to get out of that. Yeah, you're sucked in. This is why you have to sort of, as hard as it is, you shouldn't have a relationship longer than eight months or a year when you're in high school.

1:14:43 Drew Absolutely.

1:14:44 Adam You stay, you know, you stay in for like four years or even, even Travis over there has been two and a half years. If they're the right two and a half years, like 16 to 18 and a half or 19, you're in. And then you just think about that person.

1:14:56 Drew The reality is there's almost no healthy relationship that should last more than eight months. It's just that in high school, you don't know how to terminate them. You don't know when they're over.

1:15:03 Adam I tell my wife that almost every night.

1:15:05 Drew That it's time.

1:15:06 Adam Yeah, I'm gonna need you to write that down. Yeah, well. It's been longer.

1:15:08 Drew I'll call her.

1:15:09 Adam Yeah, you gotta get me a note from the doctor. Drew says it's very unhealthy. I need to see other people. All right, that's Travis. He's getting, he's fine.

1:15:18 Cypress Hill Yeah, you're young, get over it, you'll be all right.

1:15:21 Adam Yeah, guys named Travis, they land on their feet. Guys named Bruce. Adam. All right, Adam, that's difficult. Yeah. Elizabeth?

1:15:31 Caller Oh, hi.

1:15:32 Adam Yeah, hold on a second. You know what I was thinking about today? I was thinking about the office today. Like the number one guy's name, like if some guy's coming to kick your ass, right? He's like, somebody comes in and says, yeah, you know that chick you were diddling? Well, her boyfriend's in town from Oregon and he's pissed and he's looking for you. I say, okay, what's the number? Now, who are you scared of just by name or not? Like if the guy's name is Seth or Bruce, you're like, bring it on. He knows where to find me. Steve. Now, Steve's kind of a push. You never know. You should be scared of the Steves and the Daves. The number one name, it's a little bizarre, but Kimo. Yeah, a guy's name Kimo.

1:16:10 Drew Never heard of that name.

1:16:11 Adam You never had knew a guy named Kimo, huh? That's a scary name. You don't mess with a Kimo.

1:16:16 Drew Um Gad would scare me too.

1:16:17 Adam I had a friend named Um Gad Abu Zam Zam.

1:16:20 Drew That's scary.

1:16:20 Adam You start laughing, you're scared you're gonna laugh so hard you're gonna hack up a lung and die, right? No. Yeah, Kimo. You don't know the name. Never heard Kimo, huh? It's like a Hawaiian name.

1:16:30 Cypress Hill Yeah, I've heard Kimo.

1:16:31 Adam Kimo's a scary guy. You can't hurt Kimo. He don't mind if you hate him. It just makes him more angry. You know what Kimo is, Bobo?

1:16:37 Cypress Hill Why do I think Bobo has a name on the tip of his tongue?

1:16:40 Adam You got a name?

1:16:42 Caller I'm not gonna say. I can't do it.

1:16:45 Adam No? Not Kimo, huh? You take a Jason before you take a guy named Turk. You know what I'm saying? To me, Kimo, top of the list. But if he's not even on your list anywhere, then he's nullified.

1:17:01 Drew Are there any Samoan names? That's what I was thinking, yeah.

1:17:04 Adam Yeah. That's a scam. Any Samoan names.

1:17:07 Caller That's pretty much where I go with that.

1:17:10 Adam All right, let's see. We're talking to Elizabeth. Elizabeth? You're 18?

1:17:19 Drew Look how long she's been on hold.

1:17:20 Caller Yeah.

1:17:21 Adam 111 minutes and 10 seconds.

1:17:23 Cypress Hill She's got the record so far.

1:17:25 Adam What's happening, baby doll?

1:17:27 Caller When I was in the sixth grade, I was raped.

1:17:31 Adam Perfectly normal, perfectly healthy.

1:17:35 Drew Sixth grade rape usually means sexual abuse before that.

1:17:39 Caller Well, before that, yeah, I was like molested. Like, I don't know why this had happened so much to me. I don't know, but.

1:17:49 Adam Well, who did this to you when you were in the sixth grade?

1:17:53 Caller My boyfriend, but he was like three years older than me.

1:17:57 Adam Yeah. Again, my tach crows.

1:17:59 Drew Get them.

1:18:00 Adam They could stop this. They could stop chemo from coming after me.

1:18:02 Drew God, I could have one for each kid. Just watch them.

1:18:05 Adam Yeah, I had to sign the crows. Yeah, each kid gets his own crow.

1:18:08 Mm-hmm. Yeah.

1:18:12 Caller Like I hadn't talked to anyone about it for like, like the longest time. It's been like six, seven years now. And I had just talked about it with my boyfriend. And at the beginning of our relationship, we've been going about for a year and a half now. And it's like, I'm totally, I'm so insecure. And he wants to know if I should, he's saying that I should get counseling for it.

1:18:35 Drew Yes, absolutely.

1:18:37 Adam Well, and for whatever made you a good victim for this criminal.

1:18:42 Drew The sexual abuse is the main thing. What set it all up that made you sort of freeze in response to that kind of victimization. That's those earlier experiences that set that up.

1:18:51 Adam It's always, there's always that weird part in the relationship that always inevitably comes, like you're watching some movie, your girlfriend starts crying and you're like, what's up? And they're like, my grandfather, he touched me. It's that part where you just want to run out of the room and just keep going down the street with your crows. I mean, I feel bad for you and everything, but it's like, oh jeez, what the hell? I'm 19, I don't know what to do.

1:19:20 Drew Not another one.

1:19:20 Adam How old's your boyfriend?

1:19:21 Caller He's a year younger than me, but.

1:19:24 Adam Oh, better yet, 17. He doesn't know what the hell's going on. Okay, now listen, Elizabeth. You were victimized, you were molested growing up. And then when you get molested growing up, it just, it makes you into a victim later on in life. It's very sad, but that's the way it works. So you should, and then what ends up happening is some event happens later on, like for you in the sixth grade, and you want to correct that event. But the event you need to correct is not only that event, but you need to work on all the events that came before it that led to that event.

1:19:59 Drew Well, what usually happens after the rape later in adolescence and teen years is people get a post-traumatic stress disorder. It's like something was lying dormant from the original abuse, then the new victimization rekindles all this, and now they're having panic attacks, now they're having flashbacks.

1:20:15 Adam Your 17-year-old boyfriend-

1:20:16 Drew Quite a little bit, quite a little bit.

1:20:17 Adam Is wise beyond his years. Got a question for Cypress Hill. Waukeen, what is it? Is that Waukeen?

1:20:23 Drew Waukeen.

1:20:24 Adam Is that Waukeen? Waukeen.

1:20:28 Caller No?

1:20:29 Adam No.

1:20:31 Drew Go ahead and say your name.

1:20:32 Caller Jenna.

1:20:34 Adam Jenna. It's almost the same.

1:20:36 Drew It's spelled all the letters of silent, except the J.

1:20:38 Cypress Hill It's almost exactly identical.

1:20:40 Adam Waukeen, by the way, that's one of those names you want to steer clear to. It's your boyfriend, Waukeen, he's coming after you. It's like, oh, yeah, I'm going to, I'm going home. What's up, Jenna?

1:20:54 I was hoping for a bit of advice. I have made like a major decision that I'm not going to.

1:21:03 Caller My husband that I've been with for many years.

1:21:06 Adam Hold on one second. Now, let me just say what the screen says, Drew, just for kicks. 17-year-old Waukeen wants to know from the band, how's your national paintball team going?

1:21:22 Cypress Hill Three and four have switched.

1:21:25 Adam That's what's happened. Hold on a second there, Jenna. I see Jenna's down on four. If we go to four, we'll get Waukeen in a pivotal paintball question.

1:21:34 Yes, very important.

1:21:35 Adam I love paintball, by the way.

1:21:37 Cypress Hill All right.

1:21:37 Adam Jenna, I mean Waukeen.

1:21:39 Caller How you doing?

1:21:41 Adam Good.

1:21:42 Caller Just want to ask us how Cypress Hill or Stone Assassins did in the National Paintball League?

1:21:50 Cypress Hill We did better on this tournament than we did the last. We were one game away from going into the semifinals or whatever, or Sunday, whatever, to go to the finals.

1:22:01 Adam Really?

1:22:01 Cypress Hill We're just making progress little by little.

1:22:04 Adam How does it work?

1:22:06 Cypress Hill It's pretty much a fast-paced game. You've got a bunch of air bunkers on both sides, and they're identical except for maybe the one in the middle. You break to those spaces, try to get the better spaces.

1:22:18 Adam Is it like capture the flag?

1:22:20 Cypress Hill Yes, capture the flag.

1:22:21 Adam How many guys? Are there like five, six guys?

1:22:23 Cypress Hill Well, depending on the league. In the league, we play at seven, but in other leagues, it's like five and ten, and sometimes three. It just depends.

1:22:33 Adam You guys all... Okay, so you've got a flag on your end, and then you've got a flag on their end, and someone blows a whistle, and everyone starts running to try to get advantage points and cover, and then you start putting a strategy together.

1:22:44 Cypress Hill Yeah, you put a strategy together to take out as many guys as you can, if not all of them, and then you push up the field and grab their flag and bring it back to your post.

1:22:52 Adam Can you communicate? You know, do you have walkie-talkies or anything?

1:22:55 Cypress Hill No, you can't. Well, they haven't had anything like that. No, it's all, you know, the bunkers are so close, you can basically yell across to the other guy. It's a little inconvenient to have to yell, but, you know, it's a part of the game.

1:23:09 Adam Where do you do it out here?

1:23:10 Cypress Hill Well, they do it in open fields, you know, like sometimes they'll go up to some peoples, like a farm or some kind of big spread. Like the last one we just did was in Miami.

1:23:25 Adam You ever get shot by paintball, Drew?

1:23:28 Cypress Hill I hear it hurts.

1:23:28 Adam Leaves a mark. Leaves a good mark.

1:23:30 Cypress Hill Yeah, I got a few bruises. I've been doing it for about eight months. The team's been together about eight months, so we've just been having fun. That's where I came back from, actually, a couple days ago, from Miami.

1:23:41 Adam And let me tell you, you get an adrenaline rush like you've never seen before. When that whistle blows, people are shooting at you. All of a sudden you're running, you're doing cartwheels and this stuff, you're on your elbows, you're diving under stuff.

1:23:55 Caller You really don't want to get shot.

1:23:56 Adam You don't want to get shot.

1:23:57 Cypress Hill It's a fun game. It's therapy. Like some people, they have golf as their therapy or tennis or whatever. This is the same thing, you know?

1:24:04 Drew You have the same thing. Golfing and shooting people, same thing.

1:24:07 Cypress Hill Well, no, I mean, you know, some people don't have the skill to golf. Some people have the skill to shoot.

1:24:12 Adam Yeah, like B-Real and his dad.

1:24:15 Cypress Hill Yeah, like B-Real and his dad.

1:24:17 Adam Exactly. Here's the other thing, too.

1:24:19 Drew Sounds fun, though.

1:24:20 Cypress Hill It is great fun.

1:24:22 Adam I don't know, first off, your adrenaline couldn't get pumping any harder and I just wonder if there's a difference between a guy shooting a paintball and a guy shooting an M16 in terms of your adrenaline.

1:24:32 Cypress Hill Well, yeah.

1:24:32 Drew Yeah, I think there would be.

1:24:33 Cypress Hill There would be because you know death is on the line on one gun and the other one you know the guy is just going to be stinging for a while.

1:24:41 Drew If someone is shooting live-out to artillery, you'd be so much better trained.

1:24:44 Adam How dare you? These guys are killing machines.

1:24:48 Cypress Hill Actually, you know, police guys come up.

1:24:52 Drew No, I don't mean you couldn't use paintballs to do it, but you'd be so trained that it might not bother you more. You see what I'm saying?

1:24:59 Cypress Hill Yeah, you might be used to that kind of rush.

1:25:02 Adam But here's my theory beside my Tacros and my shotgun beer and then later on paintball karaoke.

1:25:10 Cypress Hill That might be cool.

1:25:11 Drew That is a television show.

1:25:13 Adam Of course it is. I'm working on it. Don't worry. Here's the thing. Here we're talking about these people, they get their legs bitten off by a bull shark and they tell you, I felt a little tugging. Meanwhile, I'm getting out of bed and I kick the corner of the mattress frame and I'm incapacitated for a few days, right? Excruciating pain, right? Now, how come the leg coming off is a little tugging and me stubbing my big toes, excruciating? I actually feel like, I think you hit certain thresholds in life. I think, I don't think you can, there's certain moments when I think your heart's pumping as fast as it's going to pump, your adrenaline's going as much as it's going to go, and that's it. You're right. Whether it's Viet Cong chasing you or some drunken ex-cop. You know what I'm saying? This is an intense business.

1:26:01 Cypress Hill It's a very intense game. If you ever want to come play, man, we play at this place called California Paintball Park. I'll take on all comers, man.

1:26:08 Adam I would love to play. I did this once, I did it twice.

1:26:12 Cypress Hill Yeah, you know, we might do a little Cypress Hill Paintball event when our record comes out sometime next year. So, you know, we'll invite you guys to come play.

1:26:19 Adam It would be nice. Originally, it was created to mark cattle, by the way.

1:26:23 Drew Oh, really?

1:26:24 Adam The Paintball, if you think about it.

1:26:25 Cypress Hill Hey, you know, it's one sport for all ages. You see old dudes and young kids playing in there. Everybody gets shot up the same. Chicks, too.

1:26:34 Adam Everybody but hot chicks.

1:26:36 Cypress Hill No, hot chicks play and they get shot up, too.

1:26:38 Adam That's right. All right, we'll take a little break. They get the white paintball.

1:26:45 Cypress Hill They get a shot in the ass. Shot in the ass. I shot some girl in the ass a couple tournaments back. Yeah, she got her revenge.

1:26:52 Adam Let me tell you something about B-Reals paintballs. They don't discriminate.

1:26:56 Cypress Hill They don't know from black. No, they do not. They don't know from white.

1:26:58 Adam They do not. They don't know from Chicano. They don't know from female or male. Gay or straight.

1:27:02 Cypress Hill That's right.

1:27:03 Adam Equal opportunity killer.

1:27:04 Cypress Hill It's called stoned assassin. That means we do not discriminate.

1:27:07 Adam That's right. We'll be back.

1:27:12 Caller Loveline with Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew.

1:27:34 Adam I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew, Cypress Hill here tonight, Papa Roach here tomorrow night. Sixth Annual Smokeout taking place at the Orange Fairgrounds this Saturday, noon to midnight and possibly beyond. Do not miss the extravaganza known as the Smokeout. All right, Megan is here. Megan is 19. Megan?

1:28:00 Yes.

1:28:01 Adam You were a child model.

1:28:03 Drew What does that mean exactly?

1:28:07 When I was younger, I grew to be about five to seven by the time I was 11. And my mother would fly me to places like Paris and I would walk runways. And when by the time I was 14, I wasn't growing anymore. And I gained a lot of weight when I started my period. And suddenly, well, I've lost it all now. And I've actually gotten back into it and I enjoy it more. But I just-

1:28:34 Adam Back into your period or modeling?

1:28:36 Modeling.

1:28:37 Adam Okay, good. All right, so when you were 11, here's the whole thing. Oh, here's a couple of things. Don't these Frenchies and Europeans, I thought, oh, Europeans are the most beautiful woman in the world. Don't they got their own goddamn chicks over there? Why do we gotta export our hot chicks? You know what I mean? When I'm in charge and my crows are in charge, we're not gonna let hot chicks leave the country this way.

1:29:02 Caller I was not a hot chick. I was not a hot chick. I was just tall and thin. Not like, you wouldn't like me, Adam.

1:29:10 Adam Okay, but there's no spindly chicks over in France? That is always weird that they gotta fly them in, you know?

1:29:18 Drew Maybe the French moms won't let that happen.

1:29:21 Adam Well, maybe they're too sane. All right, so Megan, your mom sounds a little nutty taking her fifth grader and flying her out there.

1:29:28 Caller Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

1:29:29 Adam All right, but anyway, so.

1:29:30 Cypress Hill She had to grow up quick.

1:29:32 Adam You got a nutty mom, but at least you got to see Europe.

1:29:35 Caller Yeah, it was interesting.

1:29:37 Adam All right, and now what's the problem?

1:29:39 Caller Well, my dad also, he's not very screwed up at all and they have a good marriage or whatever and he went to Yale and now he's a doctor and my boyfriend also goes to like an Ivy League school and I just have, I just want to be like them, but I'm not and I'm just very, what's the word? I'm not very confident with men. I don't like to show my body just, well, when I was younger, my mother wouldn't feed me either a lot because she wanted this for me so bad and I just, I cannot have sex with my boyfriend. I mean, we do, but I hate it and I want, I never had the opportunity. My parents never, I go to college, but not like the ones I wanted to. I wanted to go to Brown, but I, you know, I never got to and I just like, I'm wasting my life.

1:30:25 Adam And I never got to cause you didn't get high enough test scores or?

1:30:28 Caller No, because my mom didn't think that that was what's right for me.

1:30:32 Adam Why?

1:30:33 Caller What?

1:30:33 Adam She thought you should go to a worse school.

1:30:35 Caller Yeah, so I would have more time.

1:30:36 Caller For a while?

1:30:38 Caller Yeah.

1:30:38 Adam To not eat?

1:30:41 Caller What?

1:30:41 Adam All right. Do you have an eating disorder? Well, that's what you need to focus on.

1:30:46 Drew This is a recipe for that.

1:30:47 Adam A recipe for an eating disorder? What?

1:30:50 Drew Well, the intrusive mom, the modeling, the lack of a turn-up.

1:30:53 Adam Yeah, look at it this way. At least you just have a eating disorder. Your poor brother's gay. Oh, yeah, he is, yeah. This kind of mom turns a kid gay. Oh, yeah, oh, yeah. What's his name, Neil?

1:31:09 Drew Well, no, the mom, the mom could be so involved with Megan that doesn't even.

1:31:14 Adam Maybe left the brother alone.

1:31:17 Drew Aha!

1:31:18 Caller He might be gay.

1:31:19 Adam He may be gay. He doesn't bring it. You're not going to see his girlfriend this Thanksgiving when he comes home.

1:31:25 Cypress Hill He might see his very good friend.

1:31:27 Adam That's right. I want you to meet my traveling companion, Sarge. That's what you're going to get. Sarge, yes. Sarge. Always worried when you have traveling companions. That's always a bad sign.

1:31:40 Caller Was your mom a model or she wanted to be?

1:31:44 Adam All right. So here's what you need to do. And listen, all you people whose parents you can't cut loose when they're horrible parents. Don't blame everything on your parents. Just take care of your eating disorder. That's the number one thing to focus on. And all the other things will fall into place. Or at least let's take your life in order of big to small and most dangerous to least.

1:32:06 Caller Well, yeah. Well, I just like out of everyone on the show, like Dr. Drew is the one I would most want to sleep with.

1:32:16 Cypress Hill Oh, boy. Now, that came out of the left.

1:32:19 Caller But I mean, those kind of guys are, of course, not well, except for my boyfriend is not interested in me because I.

1:32:26 Caller Yeah, but hold on, hold on.

1:32:28 Adam Your mom would be pissed if I slept with you.

1:32:30 Caller Yeah.

1:32:31 Adam Yeah. Now we're getting somewhere. That's payback time, baby.

1:32:35 Drew But see, here's the deal. She has taken on so much of her mom's stuff that she has to find somebody just like her dad. Exactly. And her dad is a doctor and went to a library school and stuff. I did. And so, there you go.

1:32:47 Caller He said, yes, and that's what I did.

1:32:50 Adam He's a rapist. Yeah, I used to be on MTV, baby. That's right.

1:32:56 Drew But Megan, Megan, here's the deal.

1:33:00 Adam No. Well, you look what time it is.

1:33:02 Drew Individual therapy, lots of it. Don't worry about blaming people for where you are in your life right now. Take advantage of where you are. Take care of yourself. Go ahead and do the schooling where you are.

1:33:11 Adam She just hear you talk.

1:33:13 Drew I know lots of I wanted to ask if she's in there.

1:33:14 Cypress Hill She's probably creaming right now.

1:33:16 Drew Lots of therapy, lots of individual therapy right now.

1:33:19 Cypress Hill He said, Drew, talk some more. She's probably creaming right now.

1:33:23 Adam I'm creaming too, but it's brown. It's coming in my short.

1:33:27 Cypress Hill Hershey's squirt.

1:33:28 Adam Choco. We'll take a little break. I think we'll be back.

1:33:31 Cypress Hill Here it is. Bottom line, it sucks being single today.

1:33:34 Caller Tons of lame people and no decent prospects. Call the Dateline.

1:33:39 Caller 1-877-889-DATE.

1:33:56 Adam Hey, everybody. Yeah, that's the show. Papa Roach in here tomorrow night. Cypress Hill, God bless.

1:34:06 Cypress Hill Thanks for having us. Thank you very much for having us.

1:34:08 Adam It seems to be real for the last 12 minutes of the show.

1:34:10 Cypress Hill Thanks for tolerating my tardiness. Ah, it's all right.

1:34:16 Adam I think you did a, I think you made a slip there. It's like a retard thing.

1:34:20 Drew Ah, I see.

1:34:20 Cypress Hill No, no. No, you're cool.

1:34:22 Adam All right, Papa Road, tomorrow night, smoke out on Saturday, everybody at the Orange Fairgrounds. Everyone's going to be at Lincoln Park, DMX, Pennywise, don't miss it. And best of luck. And we'll see you guys before the seventh or if a paintball battle breaks out.

1:34:40 Caller Let's break out, let's do it.

1:34:42 Adam Until next time, it's Adam Crawford, Dr. Drew saying mahalo.

1:34:46 Caller Yeah.

1:34:48 Drew A preposition?

1:34:53 Caller This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors or this station. The producer for Loveline is Ann Ingold. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Wednesday, November 12, 2003