Episode 1000575066305

0:54 Voiceover Loveline may contain sexually oriented content. Listener discretion is advised.

1:00 Loveline with Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew.

1:03 Hey everybody, it's Loveline.

1:04 Adam I'm Adam.

1:04 That's Dr. Drew.

1:08 Adam Dr. Drew, board certified physician, Dixon medicine specialist. No guests tonight, so let me say this, Drew.

1:14 Drew Yeah.

1:15 Adam We were just pouring ourselves a little coffee in the kitchen, and we're out of the cream and all the other liquid forms of a coffee creamer, which Drew does not enjoy because they're good, and he thinks that's how he keeps his edge.

1:28 Drew Yes, that's right. Keep my radio...

1:30 Adam He's keeping it real.

1:32 Drew Yeah, keeping it real.

1:33 Adam Why don't I just put a little Duke floater in there, too, so you can really stay sharp.

1:37 Drew If I had become accustomed to drinking Duke with my coffee, I would continue to do so.

1:41 Adam Well, what Drew likes in his coffee is essentially a couple of racers banged out over his mug. But anyway...

1:48 Drew I'm just keeping it real.

1:50 Adam We were... Anyway, I had that little coffee mate, powdered coffee mate container, and I was sort of shaking it over my coffee when the lid... The screw-on lid, by the way, it's a large lid. It's not really meant to come off. It has a big hole on the top of it with like a little stamp thing on it. The whole lid came loose and everything came sliding out. Didn't affect the coffee too much. But I said to Drew, is this a joke? I hope it's a joke. And then I started thinking about something I was working on at work on Friday in Jimmy Kimmel's show, which is I came into the kitchen and they have the mustard with the flip top. It's like the squeeze mustard has the flip top. And then they even have a ketchup and a relish with that same sort of snap flip top thing. Anyway, there are three or four accoutrements all open, all just flipped open, getting kind of crusty and just sitting out on the counter. And I think how much goddamn easier do we have to make it for everyone just to put the cap back on stuff.

2:48 Drew Listen, it's come that way with toothpaste too, and yet people will not just flip the lid down. What is that?

2:54 Adam I go into the kitchen at the writer's room at Jimmy Kimmel Live, and I see the cap of the Skippy peanut butter just sitting next to the peanut butter, which is wide open with a knife hanging out of it, just sitting on the counter. It's like, do you not put the goddamn cap back on? What are we talking about here? You know the other good one? The microwave door just slung open. Not that anything's going bad, except for the bulb is probably burning out, but don't want to push the door shut? I actually get some enjoyment from doing those things. I like flipping the microwave door shut. It would bother me to turn my back and walk away while it was open with the light on. It would bother me to have the flip, again, the flip top. See, because they used to do ketchup with a screw top, and that was way too complicated for people. You couldn't expect people.

3:51 Drew And a glass bottle.

3:52 Adam You couldn't expect...

3:54 Drew Was it?

3:54 Adam I know, Drew, but... But you understand the point.

3:58 Drew Go ahead, go ahead. I'm listening.

4:00 Adam All right. Why you got to...

4:02 Drew And the glass bottle, and...

4:03 Adam Right, right. Yeah, that glass bottle.

4:05 Drew And?

4:07 Adam The glass bottle.

4:08 Drew And the top, the spout. Yeah, yeah.

4:10 Adam The glass bottle, though, that's what...

4:12 Drew That's the screw with the glass bottle, and now they have...

4:15 Adam The flip top.

4:16 Drew The flip top. Uh-huh.

4:17 Adam These are the glass... Yeah, they used to do it with the screw top.

4:20 Drew On a glass bottle, uh-huh.

4:21 Adam Right, right. All right. That's what I'm saying. I'm just saying, ain't it?

4:27 Drew So they used to have... And now?

4:30 Adam Now they don't have it.

4:31 Drew Now they have the flip top, and we can't handle that. They got the flip top. That's right. But we used to put this...

4:35 Adam That's right.

4:35 Drew After hitting it... That's what I'm saying. After hitting it, and then putting the knife away, and then screwing the glass...

4:40 Adam That's right.

4:40 Drew On the metal, the metal top on the glass bottle.

4:43 Adam Yes, that's what I'm saying. But now?

4:45 Drew We can't even handle the plastic flip.

4:48 Adam That's right. I know. I'm just... I'm off my game today. Adriana? Yes. I went to the Playboy Mansion last night. I got hungover.

4:57 Drew Uh-uh. Bad.

4:59 Adam But Drew, you shouldn't go... You veer. You veer. That's probably... You get the way my points by veering with the glass. Yeah. Glass. I know it's a glass bottle.

5:09 Drew Yeah, but the point is... What's the point?

5:10 Adam All right. I want to know what that point is.

5:12 Drew The people that were not around with the screw top on...

5:15 Adam Everyone was around. Not our... Really?

5:19 Drew That would have been a whole entity that they need to understand. There was a glass bottle. There was a metal top.

5:24 Adam Yeah, but the glass bottle had nothing to do with anything. The point is, is the metal top too tall in order? Yes. The twist top too much for people. They would never put that back.

5:33 No.

5:33 Adam Even though it took 1.3 seconds. But the flip top, it's attached to the goddamn bottle. It's almost enjoyable. There's a certain sense of satisfaction just putting some on it, snapping it shut. Yeah, it's like popping some bubble wrap. No, just everything, just wide open. And I just want to know what kind of maniac does that? And let me ask you this. Is it A, I don't care about anyone, so out of sight, out of mind? Okay, I ain't thinking about it. Like if I'm at home, I'm flipping it down, but I ain't at home, so screw all of you. Is it intentional, like screw you, or is it just, listen, it's not me, therefore I don't care.

6:12 Drew Let's see, and D, your usual category of out of it-ness.

6:15 Adam Just totally out of it. Yeah, but you wouldn't be out of it if you were at home.

6:20 Drew Out of it-ness. People are just like, like the toothpaste, why don't they put the cap on the toothpaste?

6:24 Adam If you were at home and that was your mustard and your squeeze mayo, you would flip the top. No, your kids wouldn't, but you would.

6:34 Drew Right, right.

6:34 Adam You.

6:35 Drew Right.

6:35 Adam Your kids ain't at work with me. It's you who are at work with me. Who are not putting the lids back on. Half these guys are just a bunch of loser bachelors who live at home who would snap the thing back because they don't want their mayonnaise to go bad.

6:50 Drew Or they're so out of it that they just let it all kind of, or they never eat at home even. You know what I mean? These guys can't handle a kitchen.

6:56 Adam What is your stupid point? Why do you try to undermine me all the time? If the guy's at home and he's got his mustard and he's got his ketchup, it's not on his counter with the top up. It may be there temporarily, but he's putting, he's snapping it back and he's putting it in his refrigerator.

7:11 Drew If it's his.

7:12 Adam Are you trying to tantrum? Yes. Otherwise, he's just going to have a counter full of bad mayonnaise. Yes?

7:18 Drew Yes.

7:20 Adam What is that? What is your impulse?

7:24 Drew All my friends that counters full of crap all over, mayonnaise and yucky stuff. And to me, the final example that the toothpaste with the little snap on it, no one closes because they're just out of it.

7:37 Adam Yeah. But you know what? That thing, that's a prerogative thing. A little crust on the toothpaste doesn't bother me. The crusty mustard and the crusty mayo. The toothpaste doesn't go bad. Right. Adriana?

7:51 Hey, guys.

7:52 Adam You're 21. What's up?

7:54 Caller I am. This is my situation. I got married a couple weeks ago and today, or actually yesterday, I developed a little blister on my lip and I'm thinking that it's caused by the herpes virus.

8:09 Drew Well, have you had these before?

8:11 Caller No. Never.

8:12 Drew Never before.

8:15 Caller And this is actually the first time I've been sexually active since probably a year and a half and I've been checked like three times, been tested three times and I was just and I didn't... I always came back clean so I'm wondering if I could have gotten it from my husband. He keeps thinking... He keeps saying that he's clean and that I got it from somewhere else but I'm wondering...

8:35 Drew Does it hurt? Does it hurt or burn?

8:37 Caller I'm sorry?

8:38 Drew Does it hurt or burn? The blister?

8:41 Caller It didn't. Actually, it started at just this little tiny bump and I thought... I was putting on my lipstick the other day and I was like... I thought it was like a flick of lipstick on my lip and it just got bigger and bigger and now it's kind of...

8:52 Adam Okay, but it doesn't hurt or burn?

8:55 Caller It...

8:55 Alright.

8:57 Drew If it doesn't hurt or burn... For other people.

9:00 Adam Okay, for other people. Adriana, you can't listen. It's way too long for you to answer whether it hurts or burns.

9:07 Drew If it doesn't hurt or burn, it's not herpes. Pretty certain.

9:10 Adam You said every lesion on any lip is a herpe.

9:13 Drew That hurts and burns.

9:15 Adam Well, it's obviously a lesion, it's not a cut.

9:18 Drew It could be just a, it could be a mucous cyst or an occlusion cyst, or it could be a lot of different things.

9:23 Adam You said any cold sore is a herpe.

9:25 Drew Anything that burns.

9:26 Adam She's talking about a cold sore.

9:27 Drew She said a non, a blister that doesn't hurt is a separate thing.

9:31 Adam That's not what she's talking about. She wouldn't be calling for that. It's a cold sore.

9:36 Drew She's never had one before.

9:38 Adam I don't want to talk to her. I'm angry at her.

9:40 Drew Josh?

9:42 Yeah.

9:42 Adam You're 21?

9:44 Caller Yes, sir.

9:44 Adam What's up?

9:45 Caller Hey, man. I work a lot at nights. I'm married, got a kid, and of course my wife sleeps at night like any normal human being would be. And actually, I'm at work right now. But I have, I think I'm addicted to pornography. Yeah, I listen to US shows sometimes just because it's on at night when I'm out driving around doing my work.

10:08 Adam You don't have to qualify, jackass. If you listen to the show, you listen to the show. Tired of everybody and their half-baked effing compliments on this show. The most uncomfortable thing in the world is when I have to sit here and they go, big fan of the show. Don't know.

10:24 I'm not a big fan of your show.

10:26 Adam Never. Not you, jackass. People call.

10:29 Drew Oh my God.

10:30 Adam I know. When people call this show, we're sitting next to the guest. I mean, we're used to abuse over here. Who cares? We get our paycheck, we go home. But these poor guests, when they go like, Adam and Drew love the show. Have not heard of your guest or his work. My feeling is if I were familiar with his work, I probably wouldn't enjoy it. But I have a question. It's like, really? Why put that in there? So what I kind of, that's how you want to, that's what you want to announce as you enter the party. You want to have a big basket of ass. Hey everybody, look what I got. We don't have people call the show. I understand sometimes we have guests on the show. People don't know who they are. They don't know what their TV show is or they've never heard of their band or something. You know what you do?

11:13 Drew Shut up.

11:13 Adam You shut up or you do one of those things. Let me explain something. It works. You do it your whole life. Decent people always do this. They go, people go, you know that guy, Phil, oh yeah, yeah, yeah, good guy, good guy, good guy. Then you move on. That's it. Hey Drew, Adam, like the show? Hey guys from Fastlane, looking good. All right, now I've got a question.

11:34 Drew Let me go to Josh. Josh here is like, yeah, let's do a show. I have to listen to something to drive around, that's the only thing I can get.

11:41 Adam My radio is broken and it's stuck on your station and I tried changing the tuner with some vice grips, but they snapped off, so also the volume was up too and I couldn't get the vice grips in on that too and I had to use my car to get to work. So what I did is I took the butt of a shotgun and I actually tried to take the radio out with the butt, but I ended up electrocuting myself and I broke the butt of the gun, so now it's on, so I'm forced to listen even though I tried, I took a duke in my hand and I smashed it into both ears, I actually, like I was forming a slab, I actually, and I put my initials in it too, but sometimes some of the show comes through anyway, so I thought I would call.

12:21 Drew And if you recall, after you then said, yeah, I hate these people, they're big, say they're big fans of the show, you go, no, no, not me, not a big fan of the show.

12:29 Adam I know he misunderstood and he didn't want to for a second think that we thought that he might be a big fan of the show.

12:34 Caller Good times.

12:37 Adam All right. Well, let's, let me just say something. Yeah. Josh, just sit tight. Would you, buddy? Just sit tight. I'll get back with Josh. Joe? You're 21? What is up?

12:52 Caller Hey, okay, about a month ago, my boyfriend was at my house and his cell phone, he was having problems with his cell phone so I had started looking through it to see what was the matter with it. And in the long run, I came upon a girl's number and I questioned him about it.

13:12 Drew In the long run?

13:14 Caller And he was just kind of, kind of the fact that I had caught him with the number in it.

13:19 Drew That was what?

13:20 Caller He was stunned that I had found the girl's number in it.

13:25 Drew What did he say exactly? What did he say exactly that expressed his...

13:30 Caller He didn't say anything. And when he realized that I had gotten upset about the situation, then he turned around and he tells me, well, I have something to confess and I said, what is it that you have to confess? He said, I was hanging out with a girl.

13:51 Drew Hey, by the way, Joe, the whole part about the phone and the phone number, unnecessary part of the story. Just start with your... Not necessary for us to know how you found out your boyfriend's cheating. Let's just start from the fact that your boyfriend's cheating.

14:06 Adam You know, Joe, they say brevity is the soul of wit. Yes? Yes. Okay. So, anyway, he was hanging out with another girl. What do you think that means?

14:22 Caller To me, I took it automatically that obviously he wasn't getting what he needed in the relationship, so he decided to go elsewhere to start meeting new people and see what else is out there. That's how I took it.

14:37 Drew Well, first, Joe, you must stop thinking like a female and start thinking like a male.

14:40 Adam I wasn't getting what I needed.

14:42 Drew Males don't cheat because they're not getting what they need from a relationship. That's why women cheat. Men cheat because they're cheaters, because they can, because they're not ready to settle down or because they're just real serious a-holes.

14:58 Adam How old is he? What does he do? Junior college?

15:04 Caller He works at the back shop of a bank.

15:07 Adam Back shop of a bank.

15:09 Caller Where, okay, you know when you deposit money into the ATM and you have to get your money somehow? Well, he works at the center where it's processed at.

15:18 Drew He means, I guess the guys load the money into the machine kind of thing? Anyway, let's not.

15:24 Caller Once the brinks off, trucks pick up the money, it is sent to the proof center. And from there he processes the work.

15:35 Adam Well, I have no judgment about a person who does that for a living, good or bad. But do you think he's having sex with this other woman?

15:49 Drew And when I had told him, well, no, no, forget, forget your speculation, Joe. It's like CSI, I see, CSI, I'll mind the dude.

15:57 Adam So you don't think he's having sex with her or you do? I'm not sure.

16:01 Drew I'm not.

16:01 Caller No.

20:36 Drew No, You ever had a date or been with a girlfriend?

21:01 Adam Actually, man, I called up with a fake question just to get on, but I really wanted to talk to you about a problem I have.

21:02 Caller All right, Jorge, what's up? It's actually Orlando, but.

21:03 Caller Oh, really? Orlando, okay.

21:03 Caller I thought George was Jorge. Doesn't made up name, too.

21:04 Caller Oh, sorry, Orlando.

21:04 Caller No wonder he didn't respond to my Jorge.

21:04 Caller All right, what's up, buddy? All right, what happened is there's this girl, right?

21:05 Caller I'm calling from her house, actually.

21:05 Caller I'm in her sister's room right now. She's like one of the most beautiful girls I've ever met, man. And I've been trying to get with her for a long time, but I guess-

21:16 Drew Adam's techniques didn't cause you success?

21:19 Adam I need some more advice here. Well, let me say first, George, you're 18?

21:24 Caller Yeah.

21:25 Adam Or Orlando? I don't know, I'm just playing a hunch, but I bet you got one of those bad teenage mustaches.

21:33 Caller Oh, what, how'd you know?

21:34 Adam Yeah, just a little. I know, I know your look. I know. You gotta lose that stash.

21:40 Drew What stash is it, Shady?

21:41 Adam If you get rid of that stash, now, ain't no Tom Selleck stash either.

21:45 Caller What about the goatee?

21:47 Adam Is it connected to the stash?

21:49 Caller Well, it's kind of wanting to go there.

21:51 Adam It's wanting to go there, but that's my point. It's not there yet.

21:54 Drew So, get rid of it.

21:56 Adam Okay, you gotta lose it.

21:56 Drew All day.

21:57 Adam You lose that. Lose that and you're in. Lose that and compliment her.

22:04 Drew Constantly.

22:04 Adam Constantly. Here's the deal.

22:07 Drew Flowers.

22:08 Adam If she's fat, tell her she's hot. If she's hot, tell her she's smart. You gotta go opposite.

22:14 Drew And then flowers and then lose the stash, lose the hair.

22:17 Adam Yeah, lose that weird little... Here's the thing. A lot of guys don't shave for the first year they should be shaving. So consequently, they just walk around looking like an old Jewish grandmother, old Italian grandmother, so that half a mustache. But it's not like a five o'clock shadow. It's sort of long. It's weird looking.

22:41 Drew It's fine too. It's like almost blonde usually.

22:44 Adam Yeah. Like here's the bad combo you guys got going. Mustache and zits. That's a horrible combination.

22:52 Drew In our day, we added something to that, the comb over. It has a crazy hair to it.

22:56 Adam It wasn't a comb over. It's like bad feather. Or that part, that weird forced part. Yeah. There's no worse look than the zit with the mustache. That's a bad look. That's that adolescent. That's that 19 year old look. Yeah. So you want to get rid of that. The zits or the stash. And you can't have a stash unless you can have a stash. Let me tell you something. You screwball guys with the bad stashes that you can't really form yet. It's like you're saying, I want to fix my car up. I only have enough money for one rim. So I'm just going to buy one rim and I'll put it on the car and it'll look, well, look 25% better. No, it looks 200% worse. Right. You look like an idiot. Just wait till you can save up the money, get the four rims, then put them on the car, then nail your sister's friend or whoever that chick is. We'll take a little break. We'll be right back.

23:51 Caller Hello, is this your radio? Every hour, two Americans under the age of 25 are infected with HIV. Protect yourself. Call toll free, 1-866-344-KNOW.

24:16 Caller Loveline, Loveline, on 94.7 NRK. Loveline, Loveline.

24:23 Hey, everybody, it's Loveline.

24:27 Adam I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Ben Stein coming in here later this week. Marilyn Manson, Sarah Silverman from School of Rock, which I hear is very good. Saw Sarah Silverman last night, actually. Went to the Playboy Mansion for the 50th anniversary of Playboy.

24:48 Drew How was that? How's the 50th girl? Was she there?

24:52 Adam Geez, I don't remember seeing her. I could have been smoking weed or drinking somewhere in the grotto.

24:57 Drew Was it wild?

24:59 Adam There's naked chicks in the pool. That was nice. But they didn't just get drunk and jump in. They were like paid to be naked. So they're kind of bored. Like sitting around talking naked, smoking cigarettes, you know, sort of slacking, like naked security guards would be. Like if you could get these lazy big fat security guys in the yellow windbreakers, like that, but nude. Pissed off and sitting around, cold, complaining, but still nude. And, you know, chicks with all the body paint on, walking around everywhere. A handful of celebrities. Chicago played. That was good. Those of you, no one in our audience knows Chicago, but got some hits, good horns, sat out. But I got loaded. I got to say, I felt like hell this morning. And, you know, I realize my problem with the boos now is I don't know that I've drank too much, because I can hold my booze too good. And because I don't have friends that are urinating on me or getting into fistfights or anything. So you just keep drinking? No, yeah, I used to know. There's a couple of things. A, you'd run out of money. I mean, when you're making seven, eight, nine bucks an hour and you get yourself a drink and it's four or five bucks, a pop.

26:16 Drew It's a big deal. That's your hourly wage right there.

26:19 Adam When you take the taxes out? Yeah, that's a good chunk of change. You can't just do that, hey, line up the shots and keep them coming kind of thing. It gets really expensive. So the booze is free. And by the way, when you do that for many, many a year and then you get into a free booze situation, you want the free booze. It's just like I am at the buffet. I went without for so long. I'll stuff ambrosia salad into my pockets, you know? I'll start shoving stuff into my mouth.

26:47 Drew Now, can you follow my train of thought for a second? That immediately went to Las Vegas and Las Vegas sort of buffets. And then I immediately thought of Roy Horn. Did you see this thing where you got attacked by the tiger?

26:56 Adam Oh, Roy, yeah.

26:58 Drew His name, Roy Horn, is that his name?

26:59 Adam Yeah, let me tell you something about the, I got a couple things to say.

27:02 Drew Yeah, we got a few topics here.

27:04 Adam Siegfried and Roy, by the way, there's a handful of guys where their name is actually less recognizable when you put their last name onto it. And Roy of Siegfried and Roy is one of those guys whose name is somehow he's less knowable with more information.

27:22 Drew Same with Siegfried, same thing. I couldn't tell you his last name.

27:25 Adam Yeah, Nazi men, I don't know what his last name is. But once in a while this happens at work where they go, you're a carpool with Robert Johnson and you go, who? And they go Robert Johnson, you go, who? And they go Robert and you go, oh yeah. Robert, yeah, like his last name confused me because I never knew it. But anyway, yeah, he got mauled by that new tiger.

27:51 Drew It wasn't a new one.

27:52 Adam I heard it was new.

27:53 Drew I know that I read the definitive story this morning. It was one that, as part of the act, they say, this is a new tiger, he's brand new, and this was sort of what they announce every night. They've got 40 tigers, they rotate through here. And this one, the producer was sitting up front and he told it to lie down, and the producer, they knew immediately there was a problem with the light tiger.

28:10 Adam The producer?

28:11 Drew There's some sort of producer that sits, that's what the LA Tiger.

28:15 Adam Out of view of the audience?

28:17 Drew He sits up front. And they said, then he whacked it with the microphone to get its attention to lie down. He just took him and dragged him off the stage by his neck.

28:25 Adam Well, I'll tell you what I, I'll tell you there's two things I always like when they do these stories. I like when they reiterate, when the news people reiterate, these are wild animals.

28:35 Yeah, yeah.

28:37 Adam They always do that whenever something goes bad, the bear attacks, whatever it is. Keep in mind, these are wild. Okay, they may be on stage, but these are wild, yeah, yeah, yeah, shut up.

28:49 Drew I think you're lucky that that thing didn't lunge off the stage into the audience. You know what I mean?

28:55 Adam Yeah, I don't know what the insurance is on something like that. And even the guy who was being attacked by the, here's the thing too, when you watch those acts, even if you were being attacked by the lion, you would think it was part of the act. Yes. For about the first 10 to 15 seconds of you actually being swatted by this 600 pound tiger. So that would be the first thing that would go through. Like your first thing would be like, no way am I coming back to this show as it was trying to kill you.

29:28 Drew Absolutely.

29:29 Adam Yeah. Or actually my first thing would be, hey, that tiger knocked my drink down. My first thing would be to the booze. Yeah. And then the second would be, wow, this is a weird part of the show. And the third would be, I don't remember this part of the show when I was here last time. I must've been drunk.

29:43 Drew Nobody else mentioned it.

29:44 Adam And then my, I probably would have been about my eighth thought where I thought, wait a minute, something's gone wrong.

29:49 Drew Isn't that true?

29:50 Adam It would be for me.

29:51 Drew Apparently most people thought it was part of the act, that the tiger's dragging the sky off by the jugular, the internal carotids. And, eh.

29:59 Adam Well, anyway, so he's, he's, he's bad. Well, here's the other thing too. I heard he was in like, super critical or extra critical or extra extra critical. And here's the thing. We gotta put a ceiling on this stuff. Let's just, critical, that's, that's it. That's just, let me tell you what's past critical. Dead.

30:21 Drew Well, we have, we have, Just leave it. From my sense, we have grave and moribund.

30:25 Adam Moribund?

30:25 Drew Moribund.

30:26 Adam That's just your, like morbid?

30:27 Drew Moribund means you're pre-dead.

30:29 Adam You're gonna be dead before the night's out. All right. And then, and then grave means start digging the grave.

30:35 Drew Right.

30:36 Adam Oh, that's spelled differently, isn't it? That's the same thing. Oh, it's grave and grave?

30:39 Drew Grave and grave.

30:40 Adam Well, it's weird, because-

30:41 Drew Gravely is really gravely ill.

30:43 Adam All right. But don't do like critical, super critical, it's super-duper critical, just critical. So we know where we're at. Anyway, last I heard, he's like stabilized and stuff. Should be okay.

30:58 Drew I spent half my day, you get driven crazy by lots of things like smoke alarms. I get driven crazy by the way the media reports medical issues. Right. It's like listening to another, interpreting another language. They really, they never tell you what's going on. And they just pump out BS that has to be interpreted.

31:17 Adam Well, we got-

31:17 Drew Johnny Cass died of pneumonia related to diabetes.

31:20 Adam Yeah.

31:20 Drew Respiratory failure of diabetes. No, no, no, no.

31:24 Adam It's like when I watch TV shows and they have Carpenter's Stone. Exactly, exactly. See, we all have our own crosses to bear. Yeah, of course. All right, then there's Rush Limbaugh and I'm tired of him and his whole crap.

31:34 Drew You know, the deafness thing.

31:36 Adam That's what I, I heard something about that. Then I heard another doctor examine him saying it wasn't his.

31:41 Drew I'm just telling you that nerve deafness in my world is Vicodin.

31:45 Adam Really?

31:45 Drew Yeah.

31:46 Adam It's just, just absolute out and out Vicodin abuse.

31:49 Drew Yes.

31:50 Adam And there's Oxycontin.

31:51 Drew And it's Vicodin.

31:52 Adam Same thing. And it was just massive amounts for a long period of time.

31:56 Drew The most serious nerve deafness case I saw was a guy taking 100 Vicodin a day. And he was a young guy. He just went stone cold deaf instantly.

32:03 Adam Really?

32:04 Drew Just boom, nothing. This is before this had all been reported. This is probably about eight, 10 years ago. I saw that case.

32:08 Adam Yeah, you know, my feeling whenever I hear these stories of these guys that were holding down, you know, these positions and making all this money and doing all this work and stuff, and that we're addicts, I think, wow, hats off to you, buddy. You got up and did a, you did a radio show, you know, four hours of radio, and then went into this TV studio and wrote a column and stuff, and you're completely loaded the whole time, and you're pretty, you know, he's doing a radio show. It's not like it's Ozzy Osbourne over there in the studio, you know, slumped over on the sofa. I mean, he's doing a radio show every day.

32:41 Drew And that's the interesting thing about opiates. People do function for long periods of time on heroin, on opiates, and then the house of cards falls for various reasons.

32:48 Adam Well, like him getting busted, I don't know if it fell. Other thing, though, I just think about with Rush is I think about probably all the times he took a stand against the hippies in their medical marijuana. Yeah, I've never heard him talk about drugs though.

33:04 Drew He doesn't really, you know, you notice that?

33:06 Adam No, I don't listen to him enough, though, to know specifically if he did or if he didn't. I have not heard him, but I'm sure he's taken his stance against the San Francisco pot growers for the medicinal use, right?

33:19 Drew Could be. Likely, likely, yes.

33:21 Adam Thank you. Thank you, Drew. You're just really starting to warm up. All right, where are we here, buddy?

33:26 Drew On three.

33:26 Caller On three.

33:29 Adam Schwarzenegger. Weren't we talking about Schwarzenegger being a sex addict? Anyone who's been around this town has sort of heard their stories about him. There's no doubt.

33:40 Drew You know what, though?

33:41 Adam On their hand, I don't care, but there's just no doubt.

33:44 Drew I kind of admire the fact that he just goes, hey, you're right, I'm sorry.

33:49 Adam No, he doesn't. No, you know what he does? No, he doesn't do that. He does a little. He does a little, I'm sorry, but he does that. Hey, you know, the set was swinging, you know? Like, no, you were grabbing ass. I guarantee the teamsters, the caterers, the set dress, everyone else was just doing their job. It wasn't the set, it was you. I like when people try to sort of create an environment as if they just got sucked up into it.

34:16 Drew I just appreciate that people aren't denying stuff when they do, you know what I mean?

34:19 Adam Well, here's the thing. I think Schwarzenegger would deny, but there's way too much. I mean, there's gonna be too many allegations for him to deny all the sexual abuse.

34:31 Drew But you don't care anyway.

34:33 Adam I don't really care because I don't think he's a great guy for it. Don't get me wrong. I just don't think it's gonna affect his job, the job he does. And also, who the hell is your governor? What are you gonna do, just go around raping? Laughing time is over. That's him and his old lady. But you know what I was thinking? I was thinking about Maria Shriver being one of the Kennedys and how all the Kennedys are Flanders and how they're attracted to men that step out. And she, as we talk about on this show over and over again, is a woman who ultimately came from that and had fathers and uncles and grandfathers with a rich, rich history of the men screwing around. I mean, no more famous family than the Kennedys for philandering, for screwing around behind the wife's back and not even behind their back. Them knowing it and having to sort of keep up appearances because they're in a public position. A public position, Maria Schreiber, what's she doing right now? She's hearing all these stories about the guy she married. She probably knew what was going on the whole time, would realize what he was. And now she's having to just sit there with that stiff upper lip, just like every other Kennedy that came before her. Yes?

35:47 Drew Yes, absolutely. Speaking of the philandering attraction though, the Playboy thing you mentioned, that has no appeal for me anymore.

35:52 Adam That's because your wife's listening.

35:54 Drew No, no, no, no. Is my testosterone level dropped to the point that I've lost the will to live? Was it interesting? No.

36:01 Adam Was it fun? Don't tell me it was. How dare you?

36:04 Drew I beg your pardon.

36:05 Adam No, look, I don't need me 19-year-old coked up. I forget about that.

36:10 Drew Now you're right.

36:11 Adam Let's go to the phone.

36:12 Drew Selena?

36:12 Adam Something stupid. Selena, you're 19.

36:16 Caller Hey, what's up?

36:17 Adam What's up?

36:18 Caller Okay, I am really safe when it comes to sex. At least I think I am. Actually, the week before, no, it was last Saturday I had to take the morning after pill because my boyfriend and I were having sex and the condom broke.

36:36 Drew How long ago was this?

36:38 Caller Last Saturday.

36:40 Drew Fine.

36:41 Caller Okay, and today I just started my period, but yesterday we had unprotected sex. So I wanted to know if I have to take the pill again.

36:53 Drew You know, you're in very good shape. You probably are not pregnant, but I would recommend you to do it. That'd be my orientation. And it's a sort of a sign that maybe you're not practicing appropriate contraception. You don't think about being on the pill all the time.

37:09 Caller Also, I just wanted to let Adam know, I'm 19 and I have heard of Chicago and I think they're awesome.

37:17 Drew Oh, that's good. Did you catch up? You ever seen it in a metal bottle? Metal? I beg your pardon, with a metal cap, a black glass bottle.

37:24 Caller Wait, what? Yeah.

37:29 Drew Okay.

37:29 Adam Of course she has.

37:30 Drew We argued about whether or not people 19 had seen that.

37:33 Adam Well, we argued based on your retarded allegation that no one had. See what I'm saying?

37:39 Drew I guess they see it in restaurants. Right, and then we see it?

37:42 Adam I don't know. They have ketchup, it comes in bottles. All right, the people of this in the show are stupid, but I think they've heard of that. Don't make me start.

37:52 Drew All right, let's go. No, no, two.

37:55 Adam Let's take a break.

37:56 Drew Yeah, we only took one call.

37:58 Adam We were talking about drugs and Rush Limbaugh, Schwarzenegger, you know, why not? All right, we'll be back. Loveline.

38:08 Drew I think time is over.

38:24 Adam There, buddy.

38:25 Caller Loveline.

38:27 Adam I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. Phone number, 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. All right, Marilyn Manson in here this week. Ben Stein, Sarah Silverman. I'm telling you, that School of Rock here, it's great. Haven't seen it. You should take the kids.

38:44 Drew My daughter saw it. She loved it.

38:46 Adam Loved it?

38:46 Drew Yeah.

38:46 Adam All right, I think I take the boys.

38:48 Drew Ben Stein, my book is sucking all of a sudden in terms of numbers.

38:51 Adam That's all right, buddy.

38:52 Drew Nobody's interested in all this.

38:53 Adam It goes up, goes down.

38:54 Drew It goes down now.

38:55 Adam Eventually.

38:57 Caller No, no, no, no.

38:59 Adam Crystal, you're right, other books. Crystal. Caller goes by the name of Crystal.

39:06 Caller Hello?

39:07 Adam All right, you're 19. What's up?

39:10 Caller Yeah, I totally lied about my question. My real question is about the Olsen trend.

39:18 Adam I know, but just put her on hold because it's such a dangerous precedent, people calling and saying, I got this and I want to talk about that.

39:27 Drew Look at line five.

39:28 Adam Oh, no, let's talk to her. What's your question about the Olsen twins?

39:33 Caller Okay, thanks for taking my question. Okay, they say that they're fraternal twins, but that doesn't really make sense because they look exactly the same. I was wondering how that's possible instead of being like identical twins.

39:45 Drew I assume they're identical. They're hard to tell apart. I can't tell them apart. I haven't worked with them for a couple of weeks, but it took me a while.

39:52 Caller Who cares?

39:54 Adam Drew told me one of them has a bigger areola than the other one. That's how I can tell them apart.

39:58 Drew That's very nice, Adam.

39:59 Adam Well, that's just what you said.

40:01 Drew They're people. Promise me they'd put them up here when the movie comes out. Well, we'll see.

40:06 Adam It's never, ever gonna happen. But look, Crystal, how do you know they say they're fraternal twins?

40:13 Caller I've just seen in a lot of different interviews that they've given that they've said that they're fraternal. And they use the fact that one of them is an inch taller than the other is like proof. And I just don't see how it's possible because they look exactly the same. It's not like other sisters.

40:31 Adam Well, the way it's a DNA, right?

40:34 Drew Yeah, I'm sure no one's done a DNA test on them. Why?

40:38 Caller Yeah.

40:38 Drew Why would you?

40:39 Adam I don't know. Why not? Well, look, here's the thing. I think it's an interesting point. Would you rather be a fraternal or a identical twin? I would imagine you'd rather be a fraternal twin.

40:52 Drew Well, identical gives you the option of, if you're ever in Oregon or something, it's nice to-

40:56 Adam I know, but just for your own 19-year-old ego.

40:58 Drew For your own, yeah, for your own.

40:59 Adam You'd like to just say, hey, there's only one of me, right? Wouldn't another one of you right there be kind of weird? Although ironically, I think identical twins oftentimes enjoy the attention they get from the uniqueness of having someone exactly the same.

41:18 Drew And one in those that are-

41:20 Adam You getting a subtle irony in that, Drew?

41:22 Drew I got it. It's powerful, man. But the people that are identical twins, when you talk to them, because they've never been anything else, kind of like it.

41:28 Adam Yeah.

41:28 Drew You know, they're sort of-

41:29 Adam Yeah, but then these are actresses. Then they're chicks. Oh, who knows? All right. When Drew will get to the, when they come on the show, Drew will get to the bottom of it.

41:38 Drew That's right.

41:38 Adam Jason? You're 24?

41:41 Caller Yeah, I had a question for Dr. Drew. I was curious. I just started nursing school and I need to do a lot of reading and I can't stand the taste of coffee. What is the risk of taking like a Vibran like on a regular basis?

41:54 Drew Vibran just is basically caffeine. How much you taking?

41:58 Caller Like probably about maybe three a week.

42:01 Drew Three tablets?

42:02 Caller Yeah.

42:03 Adam Yeah, you're fine.

42:04 Caller What's wrong with you?

42:07 Adam What's wrong that you don't like coffee?

42:09 Caller Oh man, it tastes gross, man. I can't even eat coffee, candies, coffee, ice cream, nothing like that. Really? Yeah, and Starbucks stuff, just, I don't know.

42:17 Adam All right, so if you got some nice coffee and you put some milk in there and you put some sugar in there, no good?

42:23 Caller No good, can't do it. I drink pop a lot, but that's about it.

42:27 Adam Yummy face. We couldn't hang. Yeah, and what's with the pop?

42:31 Caller I know, I'm getting tired of it.

42:33 Adam What do you do, you put your sneakers on, head down to the filling station, buy some pop? At the package store? All right there, buddy boy, what else don't you like? Do you go down on girls?

42:47 Caller What's that? Do I?

42:49 Adam Yeah, you do? Oh, interesting. What about booze? You like booze?

42:54 Caller Yeah. You do?

42:55 Adam I drink rum and coke, man. Rum and coke, but that's sort of the chick drink. High balls. Like you wouldn't drink.

43:04 Drew Martini.

43:05 Adam Yeah, or like just a shot of rye or something, would you? All right, but you wouldn't drink like, you wouldn't just drink, take some vodka and put a little lime juice in it or something, right? No, I'll drink that too. Oh, really? Okay, we can hang.

43:22 Drew I don't know. I'd have to look at the dose of the Viber, but I can't imagine a couple of times we could have had a significant issue.

43:27 Adam It's just a pill, right? One of the pills saves a cup of coffee or something like that?

43:31 Drew Look, it's probably like three or four cups of coffee, I betcha, but. God knows we do that every night here.

43:36 Adam Let's talk to Samantha. Samantha?

43:40 Caller Yes.

43:41 Adam You're 20?

43:42 Caller Yes.

43:42 Adam What's up?

43:44 Caller I married my husband, I don't know, two years ago. And when we first got married, his sister had hooked him up with one of her friends.

43:55 Drew When you first got, whoa, whoa, whoa. When you first got married, his sister helped him cheat.

44:01 Yep.

44:03 Drew Doesn't that already, aren't we in trouble here?

44:05 Adam You're just newlyweds at this point?

44:07 Caller Oh, well, he's, no, I accused him of doing it and he admitted to it.

44:12 Drew Oh, well, that's different then.

44:14 Adam That's different to being newlyweds, okay. So what else?

44:17 Caller So he had news like an alias. And a couple of weeks ago, his mom was visiting, his mom was like.

44:26 Adam He what with the alias?

44:28 Caller He uses an alias. He uses the name Tommy or something like that.

44:31 Drew For what, these girls he cheats with?

44:33 Caller Yes.

44:35 Caller And so his mom came over and his mom was like, hey, you know, why don't you call, you know, that girl up and ask her what's going on with Tommy?

44:42 I was like, what?

44:44 Caller I called her up and I was like, hey, are you still seeing Tommy? You know, we've been seeing each other for a while now.

44:50 Adam So his mom wanted you to investigate?

44:53 No.

44:54 Caller His mom asked.

44:56 Adam Oh, I'm sorry that I construed that from what you just told me, which is.

45:00 Drew I think we should just listen carefully for a smoke alarm. OK.

45:04 Adam His mom came over and said, why don't you call Tommy and find out what's up with that girl?

45:08 Drew Yeah.

45:09 Caller Well, he told she told he told that his sister, that the one that had him up before. Get it?

45:18 Adam No, no. Let me make some comment. I have a couple of comments. I am convinced that stupid people confuse themselves when they talk as well as people around them.

45:28 Drew Well, there's no clarity of thought, sure.

45:30 Adam And that, in a way, they're the confused, stupid person that's telling the story, but there's another part of them that's actually listening to their story and not making heads or tails of it either.

45:42 Drew One of the reasons people do that is that when they're trauma survivors, they can't make coherent narratives out of things that are emotional. They stand sort of denial, and they're sort of dissociated from it. And the lack of clarity is sort of an emotional distance.

45:55 Adam Call me old fashioned, but it's just plain old stupid too.

45:58 Drew There's that too, of course.

46:00 Adam Okay, let's not rule that out. All right, so Samantha. Sorry, Drew had to do that. So his mom came over and told you, why don't you call that girl and see if she's seeing Tommy anymore, even though that's what she didn't do and something with his sister.

46:18 No, his mom.

46:19 Drew No, no, no, stop.

46:20 Adam No, go ahead, go ahead. I'd like to hear it again, just for fun.

46:22 Caller His mom and his sister came over. And his mom has mentioned to his sister that why don't you call, why don't his sister call up that girl?

46:32 Adam Why doesn't his sister call up that girl? Okay, so you left the sister out the first time you told it. You just said the mom came over and said, why don't you call that girl? But anyway, so did the sister call the girl?

46:44 Caller No, she was mad that the mom had said that so she left the room.

46:51 Adam So mom doesn't approve of what her daughter is doing?

46:58 Caller It's just, the mom let the cat out of the bag.

47:02 Drew You didn't know the sister had set him up until the mom just let this loose recently?

47:06 Caller No, this is the second time.

47:09 Drew You know, we weren't there the first time.

47:12 Adam I wish we had been, Samantha. Hold on a second.

47:14 Drew We gotta come back.

47:15 Adam Do you have any kids?

47:16 Caller Yes.

47:18 Adam Okay, hold on a second.

47:20 Drew How many?

47:20 Caller I have three. Three kids. Oh baby.

47:25 Adam Alright, hang on. Hang on a second. Alright, don't. Now, like when you bathe them in the tub and stuff, you gotta make sure their head is above water so they can't be on their face.

47:35 Drew Water?

47:36 Adam Okay.

47:37 Drew Water?

47:38 Adam Three kids. Three kids, everybody. Is she gonna have as many as she wants?

47:41 Drew Twenty.

47:41 Adam I can't put a second store in my garage. Too much trouble. I wonder why California is in the dumps. I'm gonna take a quick break. We got more unraveling with Samantha after this.

47:51 Caller Alright guys, here's the deal. Look in the hookup, call the Dateline. Stick a waist in time with the wrong person, call the Dateline. One call is all you need to make. Call the Dateline.

48:00 Caller 1-877-889-DATE.

48:04 Caller You know what I'm saying, I'm dead!

48:46 Adam Hey, hey, hey, hey, oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

48:51 Caller Yeah.

48:53 Adam Oh, yeah. Gonna drop crowd. All right, everybody, hungover. Went to the Playboy Mansion, never stopped boozing.

49:03 Drew Good times.

49:04 Adam You know, here's what I was trying to say is I used to know to stop because I would run out of money or I would get urinated on by one of my buddies or get into a fight. Now, I just keep boozing. And I maintain, too. I don't get sloppy.

49:17 Drew You don't know you're getting drunk, yeah.

49:19 Adam I know I'm getting drunk, but, and you know, cause you've been around me, I'm a heavyweight. I'd have, I could have 14, 15 high balls over the course of last night. And we could be sitting in the limo driving home, we'd be talking, you wouldn't know. You wouldn't say, oh, he was obliterated.

49:35 Drew Right, right.

49:36 Adam You wouldn't know it.

49:38 Drew On the other hand, when you smoke pot, it's a whole different story.

49:41 Adam I did a little of that too, so we're gonna do it.

49:43 Drew And you cannot keep it together.

49:45 Adam What is that thing too, where there's... Whenever you go to a big party of like three, four, 500 people, there's always the one person who somehow, cosmically, you've been assigned to run into four or five times over the course of the party, and it's never the person you want to run into. It's almost always your sex, and I imagine if you're gay, it would be the opposite sex. Whatever it is, they're on the wrong side of the gender fence for you. You can't hump them. If you could, you wouldn't be attracted to them. You would run into them constantly. What's that?

50:23 Drew Somebody you really don't want to spend time with.

50:24 Adam Somebody you really don't want to spend, I ended up talking to a guy for about an hour and a half of the four or five hours I was there. I would just keep running into him in different corners. It's like you just get done talking to the guy for 20 minutes and you go to take a leak, he's in line behind you. And he's not coming at you, he's not stalking you. It's just there's that one person and then there's the person you run into three weeks from now and you go, I was up there. I was up there too. Really? I was there the whole night. Me too. I walked all over. I never, oh, we could have, yeah, I was talking to. Now there's that. And then there's the one guy you run into all the time.

51:04 Drew And I think, how does that work? I think there's sort of different, different sort of quantums of that in life. Like there's like, in work there's that. There's in life across the spectrum of the life, there's that.

51:13 Adam Yeah. Well, why do I need to get together with the guy? I don't want to hump. I have no physical interest in, I don't feel like talking to him yet. We spend the entire night like young lovers. What is that?

51:23 Drew I don't know. I don't like it though.

51:25 Adam Thank you. Good. Me neither. Samantha.

51:29 Drew So back with Samantha and her three children.

51:30 Adam Samantha's got three kids.

51:32 Drew How old is your oldest kid?

51:36 Adam Three and a half. Three and a half. And, now.

51:38 Drew She started 16.

51:40 Adam You married a guy. His sister was sort of helping him step out. Facilitate him stepping out on you. His mom is let the cat out of the bag. So the whole family is sort of aware of his ways. They are. And obviously you don't feel like they have much respect for you. No. You would hope they would have a little more respect for their nephews and grandchildren.

52:08 Drew You would hope.

52:09 Adam Yeah. And what about your husband? What does he do for a living?

52:14 Caller He is a cook. Cook?

52:19 Adam What kind of cook?

52:22 Caller Kind of like a cafe deli.

52:24 Adam Mm-hmm.

52:25 Drew Are you telling us the truth? Huh? Is he really? Yeah.

52:30 Adam She can't lie. Hold on, Drew.

52:32 Drew Yeah, yeah, you're right.

52:34 Adam Now, do you want to break up with him?

52:36 Caller No.

52:38 Adam Is he still cheating on you?

52:41 Caller I don't know. That was my question. I had called her up and I recorded her saying that, yes, they still are seeing each other.

52:49 Adam You recorded the woman that he's seeing?

52:51 Caller Yes.

52:52 Drew And he's seeing. And then you go to him, you tell him to stop.

52:55 Caller Well, yeah, I did. And he's like, well, she's lying. And I'm like, I played the record, the chord, the tape for him. And he was like, what? So he calls her and she picks up the phone and she's all, he goes, did my wife call you today? She goes, yeah, your wife's crazy. You know, she calls me every five minutes threatening me. And so she's telling him a different story. Yet she's telling me a different story too.

53:19 Adam Well, whatever story they're telling, the whole fact that you're having a conversation and trying to sift through stories with another woman means that obviously the guy's having an affair. I just love that where there's three people and it's like, we're all having this big argument, a discussion, is my husband screwing you? What's going on? Look, the whole idea that you're having the discussion means something is going on. And it probably has been going on. And look, could you two idiots stop cranking out kids for Christ's sake?

53:51 Caller Mm-hmm.

53:53 Adam Yeah, it's real funny. I'm gonna be paying for those goddamn kids when you two retards don't have two nickels to rub together. Just go ahead. What are you doing? Are you on birth control? Ugh, phone cut out. God, is she lucky. And does anyone wanna talk about this? Does anybody wanna discuss this? Shouldn't people be approaching her saying, listen, you got three kids, you got a 69 IQ, and you got a fry cook husband who's slinging hash and nailing chicks? Should you slow it down a little with the cranking out of the kids?

54:24 Drew Well, certainly you should keep him in line. At whatever leverage you have, hold it over his head.

54:31 Adam Oh, look, I don't even care anymore. Samantha. Just, are you on birth control? Good, stay on that, girl. And you don't have to put up with this guy. He does have to pay for these kids, but you don't have to put up with him. If he's cheating, he's cheating. You can get out of there, and God knows what kind of shape his mom's in, and ugh. And look, there, buddy, this is why you don't get married.

54:51 Drew At 16.

54:53 Adam Or whatever you were. And who even knows that the oldest kid could be from somebody else. She got married at 18. You got to think about that. Listen, everybody, I can't stop you from being stupid because you can't help that, but because you're not do stupid things. That's all I'm saying.

55:12 Drew Behave like you're, as if you were saying.

55:13 Adam Here's what I'd like you all to do. Attention retards. Start overcompensating. Here's what I want you to be like. I want you to be like a slow, white, wide receiver in the NFL, which is, you start thinking, I don't got the tools. You know, I don't got the 40-inch vertical leap and I don't run the 4340. I gotta work hard here. I'm aware. I'm aware that I'm a few steps slower than these guys, that I don't have the natural size and ability. I'm gonna have to focus that much harder just to keep my job. And this is what I want you stupid people to do.

55:51 Drew With life.

55:51 Adam Look in the mirror, realize how dumb you are, and then don't start cooking up speed. Don't start cranking out kids. Don't get to keep on truckin tattoo on your right boob. Don't do all the things that a stupid person would do. Cause that's just what you'd want you to do. Don't listen to you. Thank you. Alright. Meanwhile, I hear Ian screamin down the hall. Joe?

56:18 Yep?

56:19 Adam You're 22?

56:20 Caller Yes, sir.

56:21 Adam What's up?

56:23 Caller Well, I got a, not a dilemma, but just a question for you guys. My girlfriend graduated college. I got about, probably about a year left before I'm done. We've been together for about six, seven years. And we're talkin about gettin engaged. And she has her mind set pretty much on a body, about a year to get married. And I really have no problem with it. I wanna spend the rest of my life with her.

56:51 Drew Joe, Joe, Joe, what's your question?

56:53 Caller Well, what I wanna know is if me tell her that I wanna put it off maybe two years, just to graduate, get a job, get settled in, is that gonna affect our relationship in the long term?

57:05 Drew Well, yeah, it will, of course. Well, not in the long term, but it may mean, well, maybe the relationship doesn't survive. But look, you know we don't think people should get married until they're 30. So we're right behind you. Secondly, men do not get married and are not happy in marriage until they're done sort of with their business. They need to know who they are in the world before they can. They will let the love of their life go, finish growing up, do whatever crazy stuff they've got to do, get their career going, then marry somebody. Regret having left that person behind, but the whole time know they could never have gotten married until they were just done and ready. Guys have to be ready. And if you marry before that, it's going to be a miserable marriage, and you're not doing her any favors.

57:45 Caller But if she is willing to wait the extra year, and I have no desire to leave her...

57:50 Drew I have a feeling during that year you're going to need to be pretending as though you were broken up.

57:55 Adam No.

57:55 Drew I bet.

57:58 Adam Joe's a simple guy. He's from the heartland. He's salt of the earth.

58:02 Drew Where are you going to school?

58:04 Caller Mr. Staten.

58:05 Adam I told you. Joe's a one-man woman.

58:10 Caller You know what? I agree with you 100%.

58:14 Adam You agree with your one-man woman assertion?

58:17 Caller You got that right.

58:18 Adam Alright, buddy.

58:19 Caller However, if I put it off for the year and we seem to be okay with that and we go for it...

58:25 Drew Wait a minute. Then if you are clear this is the one, what are you waiting for then?

58:32 Caller Well, I want to get what you said.

58:33 Caller You want to know who you are in the world.

58:35 Caller You want to get settled.

58:36 Drew He's making my case for it.

58:38 Adam You're talking about banging candy stripers.

58:42 Drew Not necessarily.

58:42 Adam That's not where Joe's at.

58:45 Drew I think Joe has a little bit of that in him and sort of can't come forward with it.

58:49 Adam All guys have a bit of that in them.

58:52 Drew Right.

58:52 Adam But not every single last one of them, and Joe may be the exception. Joe wants them. You love this girl. You want to marry her. You feel like you'd like to be holding down a decent job. You want your diploma and you want to be gainfully employed.

59:10 Caller Exactly.

59:11 Drew And that's it.

59:13 Adam What about other women? What about other women? You're curious about other women?

59:16 Caller No, no, I have no desire for that. She's the one for me.

59:20 Adam I told you.

59:20 Drew Alright, good.

59:21 Adam She'll be fine.

59:23 Drew Just take the time you need and do what you need to do, and that's that.

59:27 Adam You would have made a horrible Indian.

59:29 Drew Indian?

59:29 Adam Yeah. Because you would have been, here's the kind of Indian you would have been.

59:32 Drew I'd listen to the ground.

59:34 Adam You'd put your head down to the railroad tracks. Hmm, iron horse come, maybe soon, maybe now. No. Then nothing. That's why you'd make a horrible Indian. No iron horse. You'd look up into the sky, na na jaya, na na. Rain come, rain come for days. Rain come and bring the soil back. Nothing. Nothing would happen. You'd be like the Indian with horrible instincts. You were wrong on everything.

1:00:04 Drew Think about how the rain dances and things like that must have evolved. They must have each day gone out. Somebody did something, nothing. Somebody did something, nothing. When the guy did something, the rain followed. That's the dance we do every year.

1:00:14 Adam Sure. Do that one. Do the hustle.

1:00:19 Drew Alright.

1:00:20 Adam So, Joseph.

1:00:23 Drew That's a good thing.

1:00:23 Adam And look, when you're a guy and you're under, especially under 25, you can say to a woman, I hit punch Drew's mic form, you can say to a woman, look, I don't want to get married to 21, I don't want to get married to 22, she should understand.

1:00:41 Drew Yes. That's it. Because he's saying 25 or something.

1:00:44 Caller That's fine. Fine.

1:00:45 Drew I still believe he's got a little something in him.

1:00:47 Adam No, that's you. Ashley. You're 17? What's up?

1:00:56 Drew Go ahead.

1:00:59 Thank you, sir. I'm a virgin. And I want to know, does it hurt worse when you're older to lose your virginity or when you're younger?

1:01:06 Drew Younger usually for a couple reasons. One is you're more anxious and that tends to work against you. And two, there's more of a probability of an intact time in them.

1:01:16 Yeah.

1:01:16 Drew So, yeah. It's fine.

1:01:18 Yeah.

1:01:18 Adam So like, you know, four and five years old is more painful than let's say 13, 14.

1:01:25 Drew In your series and your study, you found that?

1:01:28 I have another question for you.

1:01:30 Drew Yeah.

1:01:31 I have a really bad anxiety disorder. And I want to know if there's like a prescription or something that could help me because I'm also ADHD. I'm like, I want to know if there's like a prescription that will help me with that.

1:01:43 Drew Well, of course there have been.

1:01:44 Adam You got diagnosed, didn't you?

1:01:46 With ADHD.

1:01:47 Adam Didn't someone want to do something for you? Give you something?

1:01:50 For ADHD or for anxiety?

1:01:52 Drew For both.

1:01:52 I haven't been diagnosed with anxiety, but I know I've got it.

1:01:58 Adam What about the ADHD?

1:01:59 Oh yeah, I've been like second grade.

1:02:02 Drew You've been formally diagnosed with that?

1:02:04 Adam Wouldn't they give you something? I know we're going, we're doing the usual Loveline route here, which is repetition, repetition, repetition, then I get angry. But didn't the person that diagnosed you with ADHD or D or whatever the hell you got, do you, uh, didn't that person recommend some prescription drug for you? Yeah, no, no.

1:02:29 Drew Yeah, she has that. She has that.

1:02:33 Adam All right.

1:02:33 Drew Well, I hope she's still listening. Yes, you need, you're, you're, I don't get a lot of the details from you, but yes, I'm sure the complex situation, there are medication for anxiety disorders of depending whether you're pure anxiety, panic attacks or phobic, whatever it is, be that as it may, clearly in cases like yours, the best thing is medication and therapy, so you got to do both. There's no magic pill for these things. If you really want to get remission, you really want to improve and grow, do both.

1:02:59 Adam They do have magic pills, but the doctors keep those from themselves and their family, and then they sell them in Mexico, but they won't give those to you. They're actually labeled magic pill. See, here was the confusion, which is she was diagnosed with ADHD. She was not diagnosed with anxiety disorder, and she said, I have ADHD, I have anxiety disorder, I want a medication, but she was talking about for her anxiety disorder.

1:03:28 Drew And her anxiety disorder may actually even be depression, may not even be an anxiety disorder.

1:03:32 Adam It's just when people do such a horrible, confusing job of this, what's in their head and what's coming out of their mouth are so different and you don't know, you assume naturally she was diagnosed with the...

1:03:44 Drew You should really speak Flo and Loveline by now. You really should. It's hard. It's a hard language to master. It's very frustrating too. There's only three letters in the whole language.

1:03:55 Adam There's two. There's F and U.

1:03:59 Caller Yeah.

1:04:00 Adam You're 18?

1:04:01 Caller Yeah.

1:04:01 Adam What's up?

1:04:03 Caller I had a question about... I was sexually molested when I was from the age of four to eight.

1:04:10 Adam Perfectly normal, perfectly healthy.

1:04:13 Caller And I was wondering if that could cause a problem with ADHD later on if that could be a cause.

1:04:19 Adam Who did this to you? I know the huh's coming. Who did this to you?

1:04:27 Caller It was a friend of the family.

1:04:29 Adam Uh-huh. Did he ever go to jail?

1:04:32 Caller No.

1:04:33 Drew How come?

1:04:34 Caller He was like 13 or 14 at the time when it first started happening.

1:04:40 Drew How old were you?

1:04:42 Caller I was 14.

1:04:44 Adam Did you get any therapy?

1:04:48 Caller All right.

1:04:49 Drew ADHD is not thought to be one of the outcomes of trauma in my understanding and reading this material and in my clinical experience, though trauma and sexual abuse, that sort of thing, can set up all sorts of psychiatric syndromes. ADHD is thought more to be a constitutional neurobiological process, something that you sort of inherit as much as anything, maybe made worse certainly by environmental factors.

1:05:14 Adam Attention deficit and hyperactivity disorder. Hyperactivity disorder. Shouldn't it be HDHA? Because you lose the activity part of the hyperactivity and then you put the disorder in there. Why put the disorder?

1:05:36 Drew Because disorder goes to the end of everything in psychiatric stuff.

1:05:39 Adam I know, so no duh, that's my argument for getting rid of it.

1:05:42 Drew Yeah, but we put it on, you know, it's BPD.

1:05:45 Adam Hyperactive one word?

1:05:48 Drew Yeah.

1:05:48 Adam It is?

1:05:49 Drew Yeah.

1:05:49 Adam No, no, no, no, little dash or anything?

1:05:51 Drew No.

1:05:54 Adam Still like CNA in there. And I'd like to make it into a word like, like it would spell out like hi dad, something like that. Yeah, it's sort of whipping things around. Yeah, like people do with their phone numbers.

1:06:04 Drew I always wanted to get rid of the term addiction, just call it RAD, reward activation disorder. Yeah, it'd be nice.

1:06:10 Adam I could get behind that.

1:06:11 Drew It'd be all that, all that, all the history of all the moralizing, get that behind us, call it RAD. And then it'd be, then it'd be cool.

1:06:15 Adam It's like, what do you got? I've got RAD.

1:06:17 Drew I've got a bad case of RAD.

1:06:18 Adam Bitch.

1:06:19 Drew Heavy RAD.

1:06:19 Adam Must get laid all the time. Okay, so if you were molested and traumatized this way.

1:06:25 Drew It'll affect you, for sure. And yes, ADHD can be some of the manifestations, though I'm not sure it can cause it per se.

1:06:33 Adam No. Oh boy, did I have cotton mouth this morning.

1:06:37 Drew Yeah, you're not right.

1:06:38 Caller Oh, so bad.

1:06:39 Adam I woke up. I went to bed at like 3.30. Had a nice glass of wine when I got home. I had 17 eyeballs.

1:06:48 Drew Oh my god.

1:06:49 Adam I got up at like 3.30. I went to bed at like 3.45 and I got up at like 8.45. My mouth was just like somebody emptied a car ashtray into it. And I'm a mouth breather, you know.

1:07:03 Drew Oh, I know. So do all of our listeners know. Those of you that have never had the great good fortune of witnessing Adam eat.

1:07:13 Adam I got to breathe through my mouth. What am I supposed to do?

1:07:15 Drew And put food in through it.

1:07:16 Adam Stuff food up my nose.

1:07:17 Drew It's quite a feat. Quite a feat.

1:07:19 Adam Anyway.

1:07:19 Drew As I said.

1:07:20 Adam A huge cotton mouth this morning. Huge cotton mouth and a serious headache. Could not find an ass for an either's walk. Puts and a dragon ass. She's in New York.

1:07:31 Drew Isn't your anniversary right around now?

1:07:33 Yeah, yeah.

1:07:35 Adam It's cool.

1:07:36 Drew When was the anniversary?

1:07:37 Adam Last week.

1:07:38 Drew When did she leave for New York?

1:07:41 Adam Whatever. We're cool.

1:07:43 Drew Good times.

1:07:44 Adam Don't worry about that, Drew. I don't got that P-WIP thing you got going.

1:07:49 Caller Okay.

1:07:50 Yeah?

1:07:50 Adam You're 18?

1:07:52 Caller Yeah.

1:07:52 Adam What's up?

1:07:54 Caller Well, it's kind of awkward. And I'm moving from room to room right now, so. I make a funky noise. Sorry. Because everybody's talking about you. And well, a quick question is, I'm actually in my restroom. So if you hear an echo, it's kind of awkward. It's a quiet space. Well, sometimes when I pee, I pee kind of clumpy.

1:08:19 Drew Clumpy?

1:08:20 Caller Yeah.

1:08:20 Drew Is that after you've ejaculated or just any time?

1:08:24 Caller Well, there's sometimes right after I have like an intercourse. And there's times when like I wake up in the morning and I'll take a leak. And like it'll start normal. And then it'll be clumped like thick, like white.

1:08:38 Adam Start normal?

1:08:39 Drew Is there any chance you had like a wet dream during the night?

1:08:42 Caller No, because I don't have any stings on me.

1:08:47 Adam But Drew, why wouldn't it start normal?

1:08:49 Drew Yeah, I know. I just want to just make sure Holyoke can stay with me on this. Do you have any, you take any medication?

1:08:56 Caller No, I'm a healthy guy.

1:08:59 Drew Healthy otherwise.

1:08:59 Caller Pretty sure.

1:09:00 Drew It's probably nothing, Holyoke. It's probably just mucus. Your prostate secretes a bunch of stuff, some of which becomes semen and some of it's lubricant. I can see where it might be enough to sort of be present possibly in your urine. Certainly after you've had intercourse or after you've jacked, it's very normal to have some of that stuff and stay behind.

1:09:18 Adam So what should you do?

1:09:19 Drew Nothing.

1:09:20 Adam Nothing? He's cool?

1:09:22 Drew Have your doctor check your urine just so you've noticed.

1:09:24 Adam He doesn't have a doctor.

1:09:25 Drew Have a doctor check it just to make sure it's not an infection, something such as that. There are going to be other strange things like lymphatic drainage into the urethra.

1:09:35 Adam Hey, Julio.

1:09:36 Drew A lymphorrhea.

1:09:37 Adam Do you have a doctor?

1:09:38 Caller Yeah.

1:09:39 Drew Just have him check your urine to make sure it's normal.

1:09:43 Adam I checked my names with a doctor. Julio is way down on the list of guys with physicians. But you got one, right Julio? Yeah. You call him from La Puente. Yeah. What's that mean? The pimple?

1:09:56 Drew The bridge.

1:09:57 Adam Nice. Hi there buddy. Is there a bridge in La Puente?

1:10:01 Caller Actually there is. There's a huge bridge between La Puente and Pasadena. That's why we're named La Puente.

1:10:08 Drew La Puente and Pasadena. La Puente is a pretty fair distance from Pasadena.

1:10:11 Adam Well, the bridge is over 70 miles long.

1:10:13 Caller I guess so. Yeah, that's why they call it La Puente. Can I ask you guys another question?

1:10:18 Adam Wait a second. Because La Puente was probably named 100 years ago. Maybe more.

1:10:25 Caller We've been around for 127 years.

1:10:29 Adam We stand corrected then. What's the bridge built 128 years ago?

1:10:34 Caller Actually, it was a wooden bridge because this area right here used to be covered in oranges, apple trees and stuff like that. And there's actually a wooden bridge that connected El Monte to La Puente.

1:10:46 Adam El Monte.

1:10:47 Caller Yeah.

1:10:47 Adam La Puente.

1:10:49 Drew There you go.

1:10:50 Adam Hey, Julio, God bless you for knowing something.

1:10:52 Drew Should be mayor.

1:10:54 Adam You will get my vote for mayor of La Puente.

1:10:56 Caller Alrighty.

1:10:57 Caller Alright.

1:10:58 Drew What's your other question? Just for that you get another question.

1:11:00 Caller It's kind of weird, but anyway.

1:11:02 Adam I love this, Julio. I'm in love with you, buddy.

1:11:07 Caller There's times when I have sex and there's like times I'll have sex for like two hours nonstop and I won't ejaculate.

1:11:15 Drew This is where the buildup comes from.

1:11:18 Adam You're just going to work that out. What position are you in when you masturbate, Julio? If you don't mind me asking.

1:11:25 Caller No, I don't mind.

1:11:26 Adam Thanks.

1:11:28 Caller Like, I'm standing up.

1:11:30 Adam Standing up. But see, that's not the position you're in when you have sex.

1:11:34 Caller Oh, no. Yeah. I do like, honestly, I do like a couple positions all the time. Right.

1:11:39 Drew But make sure you're standing up next time.

1:11:41 Adam Get into the position. Get used to beating off in the position that you have sex in and you'll ejaculate.

1:11:47 Drew Or vice versa, start having sex in the position you have sex in.

1:11:51 Adam You understand who I am? Yeah. So simple. I can understand why you... It is. It's diabolically simple. If you're a guy and you're used to beating off in the shower, as many nervous 17, 18-year-olds are, where your eyes are closed, you got the water run on your head, you know, you put your hand out holding, standing on the tile and the other one's on your chunk.

1:12:14 Drew You don't have to show.

1:12:16 Adam You got to stand up. Then the next thing you know, you're on top of a girl. It's like you went from standing up to push-up position, essentially. Your balls are confused.

1:12:26 Drew I know you're trying to get...

1:12:27 Adam There's no gyroscope in there.

1:12:28 Drew You're trying to get Michelle's attention. She's closing her eyes. She's trying to closing out the... When you grab your Schwanz there, she closes her eyes.

1:12:34 Adam It makes sense. And I understand why Julio's a big hit with the ladies with his knowledge of La Puente. La Puente, that bridge, do you realize there's over 400 cypress trees were harvested? Oh, let me blow you. Do you realize that that bridge is technically a trestle bridge, although it had been taken down and turned into a poured concrete reinforced bridge later on, but that that bridge is over 128 lineal feet from one end to the next and can support the weight of a... Imagine him telling his chicks about La Puente history at their high school. What do chicks hate more, La Puente or history? Women are like, you tell a chick, like you go, you know in World War II, the ally forces dropped over 700 million bombs of a pounds of explode... I'm bored. You can see they're just immediately... Whatever. Whatever. It's boredom meets anger, actually. Don't talk about it.

1:13:43 Drew How dare you in that?

1:13:45 Adam Yeah. They're angry that they don't know and they're angry that you know and that you think they care. Anyway, we'll... I'm in love with Julio, though. We'll take ourselves a break. We'll be right back.

1:14:05 Caller Love Line is brought to you by Trojan, America's number one condom.

1:14:09 Caller The most trusted for over 80 years.

1:14:40 Adam There, buddy, it's Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. Phone number, 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. Drew and I were talking off there about the two guys who get laid in high school, and we always talk about the one guy who gets laid in high school, the aloof guy, maybe the captain of the football team. Maybe it's the cool loner guy, does a lot of sulking, doesn't like to talk, ladies want to be led into his world.

1:14:48 Drew What's the Breakfast Club against that?

1:14:49 Adam Just let me in. Yeah, all this Breakfast Club jackoffs, that kind of thing. Now, you could do that, or, and this is the guy we never talk about, but this happens just as often. This is the ultra nerd, and I don't mean Star Trek nerd, more just dumpy guy. You know, the guy with the pear-shaped physique, he's got the bad skin and the big ass, he's 15, he's already a little dumpy, so he's bad when you're kind of schlubby at 15. He hooks up with the female equivalent, the dumpy chick, and they just start humping like rabbits all the way through high school. They're inseparable. These are these couples that like, you spot them, you never talk to them, because they're there for each other. The guy doesn't have any friends, the chick doesn't have any friends. Their identity in the high school is as a couple. And you don't even know them individually.

1:15:45 Drew That guy was light years ahead of you until you were about 27.

1:15:48 Adam That guy is banging the bejesus out of this wreck of a woman. Well, I mean, let's be honest. He's no prize either. The entire, and these are the couples, by the way, they advertise, too. They walk with the hands tucked in each other's pockets, they make out, and they got the greasy hair, and they're all over, and it's like, you see them in the hole, and you're kinda like, hey buddy, can't you beat off? You can't do any better, how about you beat off? How about you take a step up and beat off? But okay, but the chick ain't doing any better either.

1:16:20 Drew I'm getting offended for these imaginary people.

1:16:22 Adam They don't know who they are. They're imaginary, the point is, these guys are going at it, and they're going at it often and early. And here's what it is.

1:16:32 Drew God bless them.

1:16:33 Adam God bless them, they get together when they're like 15, long courtship, maybe eight months, maybe a year, maybe 14 months, and then all of a sudden they pull the trigger. They squeeze that sex trigger and pow. It is big monkey ugly love just going on. And they love it too.

1:16:50 Drew How do you?

1:16:51 Adam Good, now they are because here's the deal. Even the guy who was popular, the guy who got laid a lot in high school, wasn't screwing every day. These guys are going at it every single day. They get a little schedule work down. And there's never any strife because nobody wants to screw either one of them. They want to screw each other. There's no cheating going on. They quietly understand that I'm not going to do any better than you and you're not going to do any better than me.

1:17:17 Drew The numbers match.

1:17:18 Adam That's right.

1:17:19 Drew No problem.

1:17:20 Adam We're going at it.

1:17:20 Caller And God bless him.

1:17:22 Adam That's not a put down, Drew. But we don't talk about this guy.

1:17:25 Drew No, we don't. Till tonight.

1:17:27 Adam I'm wondering if Julio from La Pointe may have been that guy.

1:17:32 Drew That's all I'm saying.

1:17:33 Adam I don't know how we can figure this out. Julio. You have a girlfriend?

1:17:39 Caller You bet you're hiding.

1:17:40 Adam How long have you had her?

1:17:42 Caller What day is it today? What's the date?

1:17:46 Adam How long?

1:17:47 Drew It's Sunday. Three years?

1:17:48 Caller No, about a year, seven months, and a couple of days.

1:17:53 Adam Okay, so he knows. Now, are you in band?

1:17:58 Caller I've been in band. I was the, you want to know features? Like the description of me?

1:18:04 Adam What do you play? No, what instrument did you play in band?

1:18:07 Drew Glockenspiel.

1:18:08 Caller No, I was the leading drummer player and the leading drummer.

1:18:12 Adam Oh, both.

1:18:13 Drew Interesting.

1:18:14 Adam Nice, what does she do?

1:18:15 Drew Chess club?

1:18:16 Caller No, she was in the color guard. You know those skimpy little outfits those girls wear?

1:18:19 Adam Oh, she's in the color guard. She's got that gun that's carved out of a 2x6.

1:18:24 Caller Yeah, and they have to wear those tight, tight clothing and stuff like that.

1:18:28 Adam Nice, carry the flag.

1:18:29 Caller Yeah.

1:18:30 Adam Okay, she's in the color guard.

1:18:32 Drew What's up?

1:18:33 Adam Yeah.

1:18:33 Drew Nobody's on the chess club or the physical club.

1:18:35 Adam You guys are good students though, right?

1:18:37 Caller Yeah, I graduated at the top of my class.

1:18:40 Adam Yeah, buddy.

1:18:42 Caller All right, Julio.

1:18:43 Adam Good times.

1:18:43 Drew Going to college now?

1:18:45 Caller Yeah, actually I am. Where? Where? Attending UCLA right now.

1:18:50 Adam Good boy. Where's she going?

1:18:52 Caller She's going to my arrival school at USC.

1:18:55 Adam Really?

1:18:55 Drew You still in a relationship?

1:18:57 Caller Huh?

1:18:58 Drew You still in a relationship together?

1:18:59 Caller Yeah. That's funny though because I know USC is going to get to UCLA.

1:19:07 Adam I was about to say how in love I was with Julio.

1:19:09 Drew By the way, after UCLA's little performance against Washington, certainly the Pac-10 is an interesting place.

1:19:17 Adam All right, so besides using the S-word twice, I didn't hear it the other time. You sure that wasn't Drew saying Glockenspiel? Which probably is the S-word in German. The point is Julio was fitting my description with the band and her being in the color guard and that kind of stuff.

1:19:37 Drew Perfect.

1:19:37 Adam That was perfect.

1:19:38 Drew Actually, he's sort of the high end of that.

1:19:40 Adam Yes, that's right. Thank you. Because he's not the white trash version of that. He's the overachiever version of that. Elise? Yes?

1:19:49 Drew He'll be a producer someday.

1:19:50 Adam You're 24?

1:19:51 Drew Yes.

1:19:52 Adam I hope so. Give us a job. What's up? Yes, there is.

1:20:03 Drew And most women that have that feel kind of ashamed of it, afraid to talk about it. We kind of figure it's, what, about 10% of women have that, would you say? Five, 10%?

1:20:11 Adam Yeah, I'd say it's closer to the five range than the ten range.

1:20:14 Drew Some women have it all the time. Some have it only very occasionally. Remember one night we did a show, we sort of dedicated ourselves to getting more information about that. And some women said it was only during very intense orgasms. Some said it was during certain positions. Some said it was every time. It's, again, the usual spectrum of the Rubik's Cube that the female presents.

1:20:32 Adam You know, you hear about people rededicating themselves to relationships or jobs or their team or something like that. I would like to be one of the first guys to actually do it for the third time. Like I would go...

1:20:47 Drew Re-rededicate?

1:20:48 Adam Re-rededicate. Yeah, like I would go, I'm up here before you to say that I'm going to re-rededicate myself to this show. I know I dedicated myself to this show at one point and then sort of fell out with it. And then at a certain point I rededicated myself and then that fell apart. But I am re-rededicating myself to this program.

1:21:06 Drew Let me follow you. In other words, back in the day when we sort of looked forward to living, we would do things like dedicate a show to investigating female ejaculation. And we would capture those days of enthusiasm. Right.

1:21:20 Adam That was during the first time I had rededicated.

1:21:21 Drew That was a rededication, yes.

1:21:22 Adam But then that fell apart. I am now pledging to all the listeners to re-rededicate myself to this show.

1:21:30 Drew I know we're all very happy and supportive of this, Adam.

1:21:33 Adam Now, Drew, you would just be at the rededication part. Because you only use one of yourself. And I may go for a fourth next week. Fourth?

1:21:41 Drew It's kind of like timeouts and the...

1:21:43 Adam You only get so many rededications. I would like to re-rededicate. It depends how you say it. I am going to re-rededicate myself to this program, starting with Amy. Amy? You're 19. You're with the new, new and improved, re-rededicated Adam Carolla. What's up?

1:22:07 Caller I'm a virgin and I'm having a lot of trouble with my relationship. Like none of them are lasting very long. I don't even want to be with the guy very long.

1:22:16 Drew Is there any reason you would have trouble with intimacy or do you think this is just sort of normal for your age?

1:22:23 Caller Oh, I don't know.

1:22:24 Drew Is there any reason?

1:22:25 Caller I mean everyone's saying how they're falling in love and I don't even know what that's like.

1:22:29 Drew Yeah, but Amy, what I'm asking is there anything you need to tell us about your past that might give you problems with intimacy, trauma, abandonment?

1:22:36 Caller My parents were divorced.

1:22:37 Drew Yeah, that could make the intimacy uncomfortable or difficult, but not really...

1:22:41 Adam Did your dad? Abandoned the family?

1:22:44 Caller No, no, I love my dad. I see him all the time.

1:22:47 Drew Well, how many times have they said that to us? We'll find out in the day.

1:22:54 Adam I believe Amy, but it's just, you know, we're like cops that have heard all these stories and have to investigate.

1:22:59 Drew Yeah.

1:23:00 Adam How old were you when they divorced? Five, and your dad moved away but not too far away?

1:23:06 Caller No, not too far away.

1:23:07 Drew Was he drinking or beating or doing anything crazy when he left? No.

1:23:12 Adam And you would see him regularly? Well, you're just, and you're virgin for religious reasons or just for moral reasons?

1:23:22 Caller Well, I didn't sleep with a guy at first because I was afraid I'd get caught.

1:23:27 Drew And then now what?

1:23:28 Caller And then, and now it's just, I've never liked a guy long enough to I think if I fucked, it would be a waste of time.

1:23:36 Drew I actually, when women talk about this under the age of 20, this business of sort of never really wanting to get involved with somebody, never feeling intimate, never feeling close enough to be physical. I think that's a healthy thing. That's a protective thing. That's saying I'm not ready for this yet and I'm still fishing around figuring out who I am, what I want. If you've not had any trauma or anything to sort of screw with your antenna that make it difficult for you to be attracted to healthy people. If you're attracting healthy people, you're trying things on for size and nothing fits, that is normal. And God bless you. You have enough good sense and judgment to wait until you really feel good about somebody.

1:24:09 Adam Can you have guys interested in you?

1:24:11 Drew Sounds like crazy like they're falling in love with her.

1:24:13 Adam Are you hot?

1:24:14 Drew Yeah.

1:24:16 Adam Yeah? I like that. I mean, listen, I'm hot. I say it. You know what I mean? I'll call a spade a spade. You know what I'm saying?

1:24:27 Caller I'm a good looking guy.

1:24:29 Adam I don't have to take credit for it. That's my parents.

1:24:31 Caller You see my parents, Drew.

1:24:32 Adam I mean, how could I not be? They're both so handsome.

1:24:35 Drew Remember, women don't actually see how you look because your number is determined by your sense of humor. That's right.

1:24:41 Adam Well, I'm literally a millionaire, ladies.

1:24:43 Drew In your position in life.

1:24:44 Adam Wheelbarrow.

1:24:44 Caller I can tell by your voice you're very hot.

1:24:46 Adam Thank you. Thank you. So now what do you look like, Amy?

1:24:49 Drew Just for kicks. There was a subtle dig in there again, mind you.

1:24:55 Adam You don't know what I look like?

1:24:57 Caller No.

1:24:57 Adam Never see me?

1:24:58 Caller No.

1:25:01 Adam You know, you could if you wanted to.

1:25:03 Caller Is that a promise?

1:25:07 Adam Well, oh, I see. You know, you have to turn on your TV.

1:25:10 Drew You have to turn on your television to flip around or you'll find one of us somewhere.

1:25:15 Adam You never saw me or Drew anywhere?

1:25:16 Drew Uh-uh. They just didn't know it was us.

1:25:21 Adam Yeah. I don't know. Not that you have to. How long have you listened to this show? Well, I guess you're a new listener. Hi, baby doll. Well, there's one more thing that bothers me.

1:25:37 Caller Well, after I've been with my boyfriend for like, I don't know, like three weeks or so, I actually get sick being around him. Like, hanging out with him makes me want to throw up.

1:25:50 Drew Actually nauseated. Yeah. Like, physically ill. He's got... That worries me a little bit. But be that as it may, again, I still see that all as kind of protective.

1:26:02 Adam A little worrisome. Five-year-olds... Five's got to be a tough age for divorce. Yeah. I don't know. What would be the worst? Six, seven? What's the worst? Four's not as bad as seven.

1:26:14 Drew I didn't know that anybody has any data on that, to tell you the truth.

1:26:17 Adam Eight or nine is probably better than seven or eight.

1:26:20 Drew You know, under five, you kind of don't know what's going on. At six, seven, eight, you have sort of an idealized view of your family and... .feel the fracture and feel responsible for it. It's, you know, hard to know. Hard to know.

1:26:31 Adam I remember having one during that idealized phase when I thought my family was average. Yeah, those were the days.

1:26:38 Drew I think you said you thought they were normal. You really had an idealized view.

1:26:42 Adam I was just being super generous and thinking they were about average. Let's take ourselves just a little break. We'll be right back after this.

1:26:54 Caller One, two, three.

1:27:37 Adam Ben Stein in here this week, Marilyn Manson in here too. Looking forward to that. Sarah Silverman, looking forward to that.

1:27:44 Drew I read a strange Marilyn Manson article on the web today, where he's trying to offend people in Middle America by walking around with feces naked and with sheep entrails showing up on people's porches. And his sort of final volley was to upside down on a cross and having someone blowing him. And the interesting thing, apparently, people in Illinois and Wisconsin are just like, huh, Marilyn Manson, what are you gonna do? And he's furious, he's pissed off.

1:28:13 Adam Yeah, he can't get a rise out of him. Well, what do you mean, what do you mean he's sheep entrails on the porch?

1:28:20 Drew This is what the article said. That he was-

1:28:21 Adam What, he's doing it? He's delivering it?

1:28:24 Drew He's showing up, no, he's showing up covered, like with stuff strewn around him, to try to freak people out through the Halloween ass. Showing up where? On people's doorsteps. He just walks into people's house, up to people's houses.

1:28:33 Adam Are they filming it? Drew, you don't know.

1:28:37 Drew I'll get to the article.

1:28:38 Adam Does it have words in it?

1:28:39 Drew It does.

1:28:41 Adam I guess he pictures. I don't trust words. Is it Jackass?

1:28:45 Drew No, it's his, as part of his tour, he's going out there and trying to do these things in the town when he arrives, to try to make a splash, to try to upset the locals, the puritanical sensibilities of the Midwestern mindset. Of course, doesn't work now.

1:29:02 Adam Amy? You're 19? What's up? Oh, you. Didn't we talk to her? Yes. Hey, Amy? Yeah. Yeah, good times. All right. I just wanted some resolution there.

1:29:20 Drew Of course.

1:29:20 Adam That's all. I knew what I was doing.

1:29:22 Drew Yeah, naturally.

1:29:23 Adam Blake?

1:29:24 Caller Yeah?

1:29:25 Adam You're 14?

1:29:26 Caller Yeah, just long time caller. Adam, I miss you on the Man Show, man.

1:29:33 Drew Long time caller.

1:29:34 Adam Thanks, Blake.

1:29:35 Caller No, long time listener, my bad.

1:29:37 Adam That's right, buddy.

1:29:38 Caller But like, okay, yesterday I was at my girlfriend's house and parents weren't home or anything. And I like started to banger with, I was finger banging it.

1:29:49 Drew Yeah, that's quaint, romantic.

1:29:51 Adam Yeah, we would prefer to call it finger blasting.

1:29:54 Caller Okay, sorry about that.

1:29:56 Caller Yeah, but okay, how's that?

1:29:58 Drew That much pot already by 14.

1:30:00 Adam Blake, you smoke a lot of weed?

1:30:04 Caller Just started.

1:30:06 Adam Okay, good, buddy. You're on your way.

1:30:10 Drew You've got the laugh in every part of you.

1:30:13 Caller Wow.

1:30:13 Adam It's like you got the Hescher starter kit. Comes with a laugh and a foil pipe.

1:30:19 Drew You must have been smoking pot every day for a year. You must have been.

1:30:22 Caller But yeah, I was at her house and I started banger and like it was the second time and she told me like the first time that it started to hurt but like it got less and less.

1:30:34 Drew Yeah, well it just-

1:30:35 Caller What?

1:30:36 Drew All right, what's your question?

1:30:38 Caller Like, is there a reason like for me, like banger that would hurt her?

1:30:43 Drew Yes. Like because- You're delicate, you're delicate. The fingertip sensitivity may not be quite what it's-

1:30:51 Caller Oh, okay, because like she was complaining of like it hurting like the first time, but like the more and more I did it, it got less and less painful.

1:30:59 Drew Well, and then obviously there's a sort of a hymen that could be ruptured there too, so.

1:31:02 Adam We gotta get a new gig.

1:31:05 Drew Yeah.

1:31:06 Adam It's humiliating, man, I just realized it.

1:31:08 Drew Just realized it.

1:31:09 Adam It's Sunday night, it's my people's Sabbath. I just sit around, end of my life as a finger banging girl and I was like shoving her, your finger's in her and she's like it hurt, but then I did it a second time and it didn't hurt as much, so it's like something with my fingers. Like look, I understand, like we do that sort of stuff where you go like, well he's 14, but were you retarded at age 14? You're, I was 14, my brain was developed and stuff, like I could form sentences, I wasn't like, first off, what was his question?

1:31:53 Drew Why did it hurt and why did it get less painful with time?

1:31:56 Adam Well, you lubricate and he probably smoothed some of his technique out.

1:32:02 Drew I don't think so, listen, think about it.

1:32:04 Adam No, but I'm-

1:32:05 Drew That requires learning.

1:32:07 Adam I'm picturing Blake as being sort of silky smooth with the finger blasting. You know what I mean? Having just the soft touch.

1:32:17 Drew Oh yeah, oh yeah. I'm sure.

1:32:20 Adam Having like hands like an expert poker player, you know what I mean? Just fanning precision like a diamond cutter.

1:32:26 Drew Yes, yes, of course. Actually- I heard that was last.

1:32:29 Adam I picture him trying to put his hand in her palm first. Trying to wedge his entire hand and using the palm as sort of the spearhead.

1:32:38 Drew Oh yes, yes, yes. I think that's the direction he'd head.

1:32:40 Caller All right.

1:32:42 Adam Blake? Yeah? All right. Don't do so much fingering. Just little crop circles around the outside. You'll probably enjoy that more, all right? Yeah, pet. Very smooth.

1:32:56 Drew We should call it-

1:32:57 Adam The cat, the cat thing. Think about the cat. You know when you're petting a cat's head? You're not trying to ram your finger in its ear. Just sort of smooth, easy, consistent strokes. The cat'll let you know when it likes something you're doing because it'll put a little pressure against you. That's it. Don't, it's not a game. That's seeing what knuckle you can get up to. Guys are great. This is why-

1:33:20 Drew Everything's a competition.

1:33:21 Adam A 14 year old guy having a vagina is like giving a 14 year old guy a tripod machine gun. You know, it's like they shouldn't, it's dangerous. You're too young. You can't handle that.

1:33:31 Drew But you're going to start monkeying.

1:33:33 Adam You start monkeying and someone's going to get hurt.

1:33:36 Drew Yeah, that's right.

1:33:36 Adam All right, we'll take a break. We'll be right back. Well, that's the show everybody. Looking forward to the rest of the week when we have Ben Stein, Marilyn Manson, and Sarah Silverman, who's a very fine comedian and actress from School of Rock. All right, that's it. I want to...

1:34:37 Drew Greg the Bunny from...

1:34:38 Adam Oh, Greg the Bunny. That's right. Okay. So, until next time, this is Adam Carolla for Dr. Drew saying, mahalo. Na na. Rain come, rain come for day.

1:34:53 Caller This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors or this station. The producer for Loveline is Annie Gold. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

1:35:47 Caller Get It On.

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Sunday, October 5, 2003