Wednesday, December 21, 2005

0:16🔗 Voiceover 1-800-LOVE-191 Love Line starts now.

0:22🔗 Drew I'm Dr. Drew, he is David Alan Grier.

0:26🔗 Drew Dogg!

0:27🔗 David Alan Grier What's crack-a-laden, man? It's hump day, windy, windy night.

0:32🔗 Drew Hump day, heading down into Christmas, too. It's extra super hump day.

0:36🔗 David Alan Grier I haven't even started shopping yet, man.

0:37🔗 Drew You saw how I arrived here tonight.

0:39🔗 David Alan Grier You did. He came in black tails.

0:41🔗 Tails?

0:42🔗 David Alan Grier And a white tie and these gay women's shoes. He had little...

0:45🔗 Drew You still have those? Thank you. You looked right at the shoes. That was a look at yourself.

0:49🔗 Shut up, you big black loser.

0:52🔗 David Alan Grier That's my Chelsea. Oh, my Chelsea chips. Psyched like she's right next to me.

0:56🔗 Drew I miss her. I do. I miss her.

0:57🔗 David Alan Grier I don't. I don't really.

0:58🔗 Drew I do. She was so good with you.

0:59🔗 David Alan Grier She is wonderful. She's a big talker. She has a big mouth. Let's leave it at that.

1:04🔗 Drew So anyway, you had a rough day. A rough hump day heading into Christmas.

1:08🔗 David Alan Grier I didn't. I mean, I haven't done my new shopping yet.

1:10🔗 Drew You seemed very terrible when you got here. You said something about it being very emotional. It's mom being very emotional. I couldn't quite hear you. You started screaming at me.

1:15🔗 David Alan Grier It's the end of the week. And I know there's going to be a cavalcade of emotions.

1:20🔗 Drew With the end of the year Well, you know, because I'm not going to be here next week. We'll get you right back.

1:26🔗 David Alan Grier Well, I know, but you know, it's going to be New Year's Eve and I got my show I'm doing. So you guys probably won't be seeing me again. And let's just stay there for tomorrow.

1:38🔗 Drew In New York?

1:39🔗 David Alan Grier Yes, yes.

1:40🔗 Drew I'm going to come. I'm going to come. I'm going to knock on your door. I'm going to throw my ass all over the floor and just set up shop in your living room.

1:46🔗 David Alan Grier Just you by yourself?

1:47🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:47🔗 David Alan Grier Yeah, but you hanging out with me, brother. If you come into New York, we going out. We hitting some strip clubs. You got to go meet my special friends.

1:53🔗 Drew Your special friends?

1:54🔗 David Alan Grier My butt-necked special friends, the good girls.

1:57🔗 Drew Oh, nice.

1:57🔗 I know, man.

1:58🔗 David Alan Grier It's beautiful. It's beautiful out there, Dr. Drew.

2:00🔗 David Alan Grier It's lovely.

2:01🔗 Drew That's the whole world I've not really been exposed to.

2:03🔗 Well, you're about to be.

2:04🔗 David Alan Grier You're about to be.

2:05🔗 David Alan Grier Honey!

2:09🔗 David Alan Grier Yeah, it's going to be great.

2:10🔗 David Alan Grier I'm not coming out.

2:14🔗 Drew Oh, here it is.

2:15🔗 Yeah.

2:17🔗 David Alan Grier Oh, that is beautiful.

2:21🔗 Drew You're home, dad.

2:22🔗 David Alan Grier You're home. I am.

2:24🔗 David Alan Grier Of course, that's another era now. You know, now the chicks all play gold digger.

2:27🔗 Drew What's that?

2:28🔗 David Alan Grier Gold digger. Kanye West. He's a young African-American who does the rap thing.

2:32🔗 Drew Yes.

2:32🔗 David Alan Grier Let's take a call, shall we?

2:33🔗 Drew Here, try this.

2:34🔗 David Alan Grier Life's too short.

2:34🔗 Drew Dax 19.

2:35🔗 Hey.

2:36🔗 Drew Hey.

2:37🔗 Hi, David. Dax.

2:37🔗 David Alan Grier Girl?

2:38🔗 Drew Yeah.

2:38🔗 Yeah.

2:39🔗 David Alan Grier Wow. How are you?

2:40🔗 Not too bad.

2:42🔗 David Alan Grier Beautiful.

2:42🔗 Big fan of you.

2:44🔗 David Alan Grier Thank you so much.

2:45🔗 I just started hearing you on Loveline and I was like, so amazed with your talent. You just make me laugh all the time.

2:50🔗 Drew You're fat.

2:51🔗 David Alan Grier Thank you so much. She is not. She is not. This girl is a little peanut of a wisp of a woman. Am I right?

2:59🔗 I'm very sweet of you.

3:01🔗 David Alan Grier Uh-oh.

3:02🔗 Like five something in Asian, so.

3:04🔗 David Alan Grier See?

3:05🔗 I'm from Canada, too.

3:07🔗 David Alan Grier Really?

3:08🔗 Drew Are you in Canada now?

3:09🔗 Yep.

3:09🔗 David Alan Grier I grew up in Detroit, right across the street from beautiful Windsor.

3:12🔗 Yeah, Windsor's awesome.

3:13🔗 Actually, Windsor's really boring.

3:15🔗 Drew Well, it's got a lot of casinos over there, doesn't it?

3:17🔗 David Alan Grier It does. But so does Detroit. But honey, I don't know why you're calling here, unless you want to just tell us to have a good night. You sound healthy, emotionally wealthy.

3:27🔗 I'm calling to ask you about comedy.

3:30🔗 David Alan Grier Okay, go. Hit me with it.

3:32🔗 What is it that you enjoy most about that medium of entertainment?

3:36🔗 David Alan Grier All right. What I like about comedy is this. I write on my own material and I actually started out as an actor. And I got on Living Color. People started calling colleges and stuff to book me. I didn't really have an act.

3:50🔗 Drew Oh, you were doing comedic acting at that point.

3:52🔗 David Alan Grier I was a snapper, but I was friends. Yeah, but I would hang out with Damon and all those guys because we were friends. And I would do spots. But literally I had like four minutes of material. And I started going on the road. So to answer your question, it's one aspect of my career that is totally uncensored. I write and do whatever I want.

4:14🔗 Drew I'm not sort of a spoken word thing you do or is it really straight comedy?

4:17🔗 David Alan Grier It's stick jokes.

4:17🔗 David Alan Grier Basically, it's like, is it spoken word?

4:21🔗 David Alan Grier Is it Eugene O'Neill? No, it's just me doing the bunkie. But it's freedom, you know, and I can go out and reconnect with my audience. And it's a great experience. It's something I've grown to love, but now I control it because for a while I was doing so much road work when I was married and then doing the show, then doing movies, I never ever had any time off. So now I kind of go where I want to go and perform when I want to perform. And it's just an extra thing I can do.

4:49🔗 Drew And they do it locally in Los Angeles? Or you care where you go?

4:51🔗 David Alan Grier I work out. I mean, I work out in Los Angeles. You don't get paid in LA. You have to go out there to the hinterlands.

4:57🔗 Drew Well, they appreciate you. Louisiana.

4:59🔗 David Alan Grier In Dayton, that's like always great.

5:02🔗 Drew They appreciate you there.

5:03🔗 David Alan Grier Now they love me. Honey, are you a comic?

5:07🔗 No, I'm not a comic. I'm the blind Canadian who called a little months ago, Drew.

5:13🔗 Drew Yeah, I remember.

5:14🔗 David Alan Grier I see you. You hear what I said?

5:17🔗 That's great, David.

5:18🔗 David Alan Grier Beautiful. I want you to calm down. You're all over the place. Get back on your meds. Good luck. Happy Kwanzaa.

5:24🔗 Next caller.

5:26🔗 David Alan Grier Boy, she was nuts. Did you see that?

5:27🔗 Drew Amy, Amy 19.

5:28🔗 David Alan Grier Geez.

5:29🔗 Hi, Amy.

5:30🔗 David Alan Grier How are you?

5:32🔗 Drew I'm OK. How are y'all? Y'all's good. What's going on there?

5:36🔗 Well, I had a question.

5:37🔗 Drew All right.

5:38🔗 David Alan Grier What's going on?

5:39🔗 OK. I was talking with my boyfriend tonight, and he told me that when we have sex and I'm on top, when he ejaculates, it burns.

5:48🔗 And I was wondering why.

5:50🔗 Drew It's only in that position when he has burning?

5:52🔗 Yeah.

5:53🔗 Drew Have you guys done it regularly in that position and he frequently has the burning? Or is it just like once or twice?

5:58🔗 Well, I don't like being on top, and he likes me being on top.

6:02🔗 David Alan Grier You eat a lot of hot sauce, honey?

6:05🔗 No.

6:05🔗 David Alan Grier No?

6:06🔗 Drew Kayandush.

6:06🔗 David Alan Grier Kayandush, yeah.

6:08🔗 Drew The deal is, Amy, on that position sometimes it can be an irritation of the urethra, sort of a bending or whatever. And then when the guy's ejaculating and the urethra is sort of inflamed, that kind of burns or hurts a little bit. This is Amy also. She's 27, a different Amy.

6:25🔗 Hello.

6:26🔗 Drew Hi, Amy.

6:27🔗 David Alan Grier Hi, Amy. What's cracking?

6:30🔗 Okay, so when me and my husband have intercourse and I give him head, he wants me to swallow. However, when I do that, I usually gag and dry heave and choke on it for a while. I'm usually spitting it out by the time he's done. However-

6:44🔗 Drew And the problem is-

6:50🔗 David Alan Grier Now, so what do you want us to help you with?

6:52🔗 Well, is there an easy way to just hurry, get it done and over-swallowed so he'll be happy kind of-

6:58🔗 Drew What's the thing that you- That would take us years?

6:59🔗 David Alan Grier Well, no, no, I'll tell you this.

7:00🔗 David Alan Grier Let me ask you this, Amy. Has a guy ever gone down on you and said, you know, the smell and taste of your cooter is so foul that I have to hack and cough and spit and spew right over? Is there any way I can go down on you really quick and brush my teeth and be over with it?

7:18🔗 I don't mind giving him head.

7:20🔗 I just don't want to swallow.

7:21🔗 David Alan Grier Right, but how sexy would that be to you if your husband comes down and says.

7:34🔗 David Alan Grier Oh, jeez, I still smell snitch. Oh boy, I hope you got a big night out of it. Oh jeez.

7:44🔗 David Alan Grier No, no, you wouldn't like that, would you?

7:47🔗 David Alan Grier No.

7:48🔗 Drew Nor would you really want him to go down there and do that if it really was unpleasant for him.

7:53🔗 David Alan Grier You know what? So many chicks, you're just bad in bed, okay? That you're just bad in bed. That's what I, a woman who doesn't like oral sex.

8:02🔗 Drew She doesn't like oral sex, she doesn't like swallowing.

8:04🔗 David Alan Grier Well, it doesn't sound like it is. That's gonna kill my whole, well then don't swallow, run out of the room, do no performance and go, my lover, I'm going to gargle with your issue. And come back in and just be all fresh and clean. You have to mask it. That's what you have to do. Like when you used to eat green peas when you were a little kid, you go.

8:26🔗 Drew And then get rid of it.

8:27🔗 David Alan Grier There you go, get rid of it.

8:28🔗 Drew Keep a big towel nearby or something.

8:30🔗 David Alan Grier I had a friend of mine who argued me down, this is one of the smartest women I know, in every other aspect of her life. And she said, well, semen is really high in calories.

8:40🔗 Drew Oh yeah, sure.

8:40🔗 David Alan Grier And I'm like, you know what? I had to go on the internet and I email it. And she was convinced. She says, that's why I don't swallow.

8:46🔗 Drew It has about three calories. It has three calories. It's like swallowing what drips on the back of your throat.

8:51🔗 David Alan Grier Well, she didn't want to hear that. But that was her excuse. And she stuck to that for like she really thought she had.

8:57🔗 Drew I do recommend the parents tell that to their kids. I do. Sometimes I tell my daughter, four thousand calories.

9:03🔗 David Alan Grier Well, yeah, yeah, health issues you're talking about.

9:05🔗 Drew No, I just recommend that... The spunk? Yeah, I recommend that you tell your daughter, it's high, high in calories.

9:10🔗 David Alan Grier Why not? It's in there. I mean, what are you trying to do?

9:14🔗 Drew Discourage the issue.

9:16🔗 David Alan Grier You can't, you can't.

9:18🔗 Drew The issuance.

9:18🔗 David Alan Grier The love muck is gonna get all over your young ones, Dr. Drew.

9:23🔗 David Alan Grier Oh, jeez.

9:25🔗 David Alan Grier Daddy, I met a boy today.

9:29🔗 Drew Renee, 22.

9:31🔗 Hello, hey.

9:32🔗 Drew Hey, Renee. What's going on?

9:32🔗 How's it going?

9:34🔗 What's up there?

9:35🔗 I'm calling to see, well, basically I want to say hi to both you guys.

9:39🔗 David Alan Grier What's up?

9:40🔗 I wanted to know, could you first play the David Alan Grier thing where he names off all the children as-

9:47🔗 David Alan Grier Wait a minute, this is a request one.

9:49🔗 David Alan Grier This is a request one.

9:50🔗 Drew Yes, for Renee it is. Go ahead.

9:51🔗 David Alan Grier It's Christmas time.

9:52🔗 Drew Come on, Andrew, 100 micrograms of ethanol estradiol, which is-

9:56🔗 Ethanol, estradiol.

9:58🔗 Drew It's the progesterone, it's the levonogestrel.

10:01🔗 And where is levonogestrel?

10:03🔗 Drew Or the North Endron.

10:05🔗 North Endron, put that whiffle ball back down.

10:09🔗 David Alan Grier Come in the house.

10:11🔗 David Alan Grier So bad, I'm sick of these kids, man. I am my biggest fan, I really am, Dr. Drew.

10:17🔗 Drew You can't not laugh at that, you can't. And that's comedic acting.

10:21🔗 David Alan Grier There you go.

10:22🔗 David Alan Grier If that routine were love spunk, you'd swallow it, wouldn't you?

10:26🔗 Drew Oh, I would.

10:27🔗 I would.

10:29🔗 David Alan Grier All right.

10:30🔗 David Alan Grier There you go. You got it.

10:31🔗 All right.

10:32🔗 Drew What's up?

10:32🔗 Thank you. I just wanted to see, now I'm sober from crystal meth and you're in the program or you're just absent? No, I'm absent. I've been clean for like three years.

10:44🔗 Drew So you're not in the program?

10:46🔗 No, not in the program.

10:47🔗 Drew So it's just a matter of time before you use something else.

10:50🔗 I totally understand that, but I just want to know one thing, since I started so young, I just want to know what the side effects are, like the long-term damage. I started when I was 13.

11:01🔗 Drew Do you have any memory difficulties?

11:04🔗 Yeah, I would say so.

11:05🔗 It's more like short-term memory loss.

11:08🔗 Drew Well, that's the effect of speech. Speed causes short-term memory difficulties, panic, anxiety, and depression.

11:14🔗 David Alan Grier And belching.

11:16🔗 That explains a lot of things.

11:18🔗 Drew Right, and you have to be very, very careful because you go into a doctor and you don't tell them you're an addict. You tell them having panic is going to give you medicines that are extremely addictive.

11:27🔗 David Alan Grier Like what kind of medicines, Dr. Drew?

11:28🔗 Drew Dianx, Ativan, or Mclonopin.

11:30🔗 David Alan Grier Ah, it's good stuff.

11:31🔗 Okay, that's understood. So what should I say instead?

11:35🔗 Like, should I just come clean and say, you know, this is what happened?

11:38🔗 Drew Absolutely, because that implies it needs a specific kind of treatment.

11:43🔗 David Alan Grier So you're a tweaker?

11:44🔗 Drew Yeah, I did a lot of speed and now I'm having these symptoms. You need to make sure you deal with a doctor who's had experience treating amphetamine addicts. And usually the serotonin reuptake drugs like Prozac or Zoloft are pretty effective. Sometimes it effects or some volta.

11:56🔗 Okay, thank you.

11:57🔗 Drew Yeah, you do need to get something to support that injury. Okay. Good luck.

12:01🔗 Thanks a lot, guys.

12:02🔗 Drew Good luck.

12:02🔗 Bye.

12:03🔗 David Alan Grier She got happy at the end of the call.

12:04🔗 Drew Yeah, she got hope. Hope it's going to feel better.

12:07🔗 David Alan Grier Is there any side effect? Yeah, your creaky, scary voice.

12:10🔗 That's a side effect.

12:11🔗 No, she was great.

12:11🔗 Drew Eric, 23. You're so negative tonight.

12:14🔗 It's Christmas.

12:14🔗 Drew Dude, Christmas.

12:15🔗 Caller Hey, I have a question for you. Basically, because of my religious background, I've been a virgin all my life, and now I'm not religious anymore and I'm 23.

12:23🔗 Drew Whoa, whoa, whoa. Slow down. You can't just slip right. What was your religious background? How did you slip away from it? Eric.

12:32🔗 Caller Background is Christian.

12:34🔗 Drew Christian fundamentalist? Christian fundamentalist? I mean, what was the...

12:40🔗 Caller In the Midwest, Christian fundamentalist, yeah.

12:42🔗 David Alan Grier Charismatic.

12:44🔗 Drew And then what got you away from all that?

12:48🔗 Caller Um, I basically kind of decided I didn't see any evidence that it was true in relation to other religions. So I just I can't really find a way to believe in it anymore.

12:59🔗 But I did.

13:00🔗 Caller I did heartfully believe in it before. I just okay.

13:05🔗 Drew You probably come around to some new synthesis of all this as you grow up. But anyway, you want to get on with things now.

13:10🔗 Caller Right. And so kind of basically what I know, what I want to know is, is there any studied benefit in remaining a virgin until marriage? Or should I just go and be like every other guy?

13:21🔗 David Alan Grier Now, what's the benefit?

13:23🔗 Drew The only benefit I you know, you're asking a scientific question. Is there data suggest that it's good? I don't think any of-

13:29🔗 David Alan Grier Health, health.

13:30🔗 Drew Yeah, I mean, you get less STDs, less pregnancies. So from that standpoint, it's good.

13:34🔗 Caller I'm more talking about just a relationship standpoint.

13:36🔗 Drew Yeah, I can only tell you, it's only anecdotal.

13:40🔗 Caller Okay.

13:40🔗 Drew And couples that say, that have waited until marriage, will tell you that they feel like they did something special, like something unique that they, now of course they wouldn't have any different, maybe fantasy because they have nothing to compare it against, but they will often tell me that there's something special by having done that. But in terms of outcomes or in terms of there being something measurable, no, I don't know of any data like that.

14:03🔗 Caller Okay.

14:04🔗 David Alan Grier You know what I find is that people, grown up people who are virgins or the people that I've interacted with, they're kind of like emotionally retarded though, like in terms of development because after you get to a certain age, you've gone through certain relationships, good and bad. And I've watched these people that when they first start dating, they act like 12-year-olds.

14:28🔗 Drew They don't negotiate that.

14:29🔗 David Alan Grier No, they don't. Emotionally, it's like, I think I just met the girl that I'm going to spend the rest of my life with. Men and women in their 20s, mid-20s that have never boned like me and you, Dr. Drew, we got our love sticks dirty, my friend.

14:45🔗 Drew Cross, cross.

14:46🔗 David Alan Grier Get out there.

14:46🔗 Drew We both, you and I.

14:48🔗 David Alan Grier No, that didn't happen. That didn't happen. I did not meet you in Europe and enforce you.

14:53🔗 Drew All right, Eric, thanks.

14:53🔗 David Alan Grier That did not happen.

14:54🔗 Drew You mean like the caller last night?

14:56🔗 David Alan Grier Right. No, but I'm serious. I was dating this girl who was a born again Christian. Of course, she was a reformed hoe, which is my specialty.

15:03🔗 Drew Lord give and Lord take it away.

15:04🔗 David Alan Grier Yeah, right, right. But a lot of her friends.

15:06🔗 Drew So did you find her, she take it away.

15:07🔗 David Alan Grier No, but I'm telling you, a room full of people in the middle of Hollywood, they were all virgins and they were like 12 year olds, like 27 year old men and women.

15:15🔗 Drew And nothing quaint or cute or anything like that?

15:19🔗 David Alan Grier No, it was a burden. They were trying their best. I mean, the way they dealt with interpersonal relationships was retarded, like seventh graders, you know.

15:27🔗 Drew Scott 30. Hello, yes. What's up, Scott?

15:30🔗 Caller Dr. Drew?

15:31🔗 David Alan Grier Yo.

15:32🔗 Caller Yeah, big fan, David Alan Grier.

15:34🔗 David Alan Grier What's up, man?

15:35🔗 If you were in a star, what do you think you'd be doing right now?

15:39🔗 David Alan Grier Robbing yo ass right now.

15:41🔗 David Alan Grier Stick him up.

15:42🔗 David Alan Grier Really?

15:43🔗 David Alan Grier Really?

15:43🔗 David Alan Grier What would I be doing? What would I be doing?

15:45🔗 Drew Thoracic surgery.

15:50🔗 David Alan Grier I don't know what I would be doing. Probably like music or something.

15:53🔗 Drew I'd like to- No, no, wait. I think let's take you back. That would mean you didn't go to Yale.

15:57🔗 David Alan Grier No, I didn't.

15:57🔗 Drew No, no, no. It would mean you were in Michigan.

15:59🔗 David Alan Grier No, I'm talking about different kinds of music, you know.

16:02🔗 Love you tonight. Yeah, big leg mama, with your chunky gadunka dunk all in the back. Smack that booty till it blue and black. Show what I do, show what I do.

16:16🔗 David Alan Grier I'm banging you, you know, you know, something.

16:18🔗 Drew Oh, yeah, like that. Yeah, yeah, sure.

16:19🔗 David Alan Grier Yeah, not, you know, something like that. I'd be singing, I'd be singing, man.

16:21🔗 Drew Got a whole new genre of music.

16:23🔗 I'd be on T, baby.

16:24🔗 Drew Big black and blue back music.

16:26🔗 David Alan Grier Yes, yes. The gadunka dunk R&B sound. That's what I'd do. I'd sing or something like that.

16:31🔗 Drew So you're in Michigan.

16:33🔗 Did you take drama in high school?

16:35🔗 David Alan Grier No, not that was in high school.

16:36🔗 Drew What did you study in college? What did you study in high school?

16:39🔗 David Alan Grier In high school, I just was in high school.

16:40🔗 Drew What did you study in college?

16:41🔗 David Alan Grier My parents, I was in college. I dropped out of school.

16:45🔗 Drew University of Michigan.

16:45🔗 David Alan Grier University of Michigan. I dropped out of school and moved to New York City for a year to be a songwriter. To be a songwriter? Yeah, to be a songwriter. I really wanted to do music at first. When I was a young kid. Then I moved to-

16:56🔗 Drew How many times have I asked you about your musical ability training?

16:58🔗 Hey, you know what?

16:59🔗 David Alan Grier I'm trying to answer the callers.

17:02🔗 David Alan Grier It doesn't say Dr. Drew.

17:04🔗 Drew Hold his mic. Hold his mic.

17:05🔗 No, you keep my mic on.

17:07🔗 Drew You push me and that is it.

17:09🔗 David Alan Grier I have had- I come in here every night.

17:11🔗 Drew Scott, here's the deal. This guy is- No, David Anger has unbelievable musical talent.

17:18🔗 Caller Unbelievable.

17:19🔗 Drew And I would see him doing stuff and I go, Dan, what is your training been? And this is like, you step right into that stuff. What's that, Scott?

17:32🔗 Caller You think he can play drums and stuff?

17:34🔗 Drew No, no, his thing is singing and dancing.

17:36🔗 David Alan Grier No, not dancing.

17:37🔗 Drew I've seen you dancing, too, but listen, what was the Hunt, Helen Hunt, the Bonnie Hunt show?

17:43🔗 David Alan Grier Have you been doing math? Cause you're- Well, I've been at a- Bella Bonnington.

17:49🔗 Drew I've been at a black-white tie affair. I don't know if it feels so good. But I saw him take on something there that was very complicated and difficult. He doesn't- He blew it off like nothing.

17:59🔗 David Alan Grier I know, but I'm talking about- That's probably what I would do.

18:01🔗 Drew I'm just saying, I've seen you. I could see you have serious musical ability. So that got developed during college first?

18:07🔗 David Alan Grier No, I always was into music and-

18:09🔗 Drew Did you play an instrument?

18:10🔗 David Alan Grier Yeah, guitar.

18:11🔗 Drew Guitar only, probably?

18:12🔗 David Alan Grier I wrote songs and all that sort of thing. Yeah. So that's what I wanted to do. I wanted to be like, you know, all like that.

18:18🔗 Drew He was going to be James Taylor, be in America or Brad or something like that. I could see it.

18:23🔗 David Alan Grier I'm going to want you.

18:26🔗 Drew We'll pause a second. What's that, Scott? What's that, Scott? Yeah.

18:30🔗 Caller Thank you very much for taking my call.

18:32🔗 Drew All right, man.

18:32🔗 David Alan Grier You be good. Merry Christmas. All right.

18:36🔗 Drew Man. Jill, 22.

18:39🔗 David Alan Grier Jill.

18:40🔗 Caller Hi. I just had a quick question.

18:42🔗 Caller I've been dating this guy for like three to four weeks.

18:45🔗 Caller Right. And we started having sex, but I noticed something really weird. Every time he comes, he cries. And I don't know how to act to that. And I don't know if that's like he had a problem when he was younger or.

18:57🔗 Drew The answer to that is yes.

18:58🔗 David Alan Grier Well, hold on. How does he cry?

18:59🔗 Drew Yeah. It's just like tears come to his eyes because he's such a relieve.

19:02🔗 Caller It's not like tearing up and like bawling.

19:04🔗 Caller It's just kind of like a little whimper. And like I can tell he's like upset or down.

19:10🔗 Caller He's not like how guys should normally be when he calms you.

19:13🔗 Drew Right.

19:14🔗 David Alan Grier Like arms in the air.

19:16🔗 David Alan Grier I banged your butt. I banged your butt.

19:18🔗 David Alan Grier I banged you very well.

19:19🔗 David Alan Grier I banged your butt. I banged your butt.

19:41🔗 Drew Sorry, so, Gio, it was a little, lost my transoc.

19:46🔗 David Alan Grier That's beautiful.

19:46🔗 Drew It was beautiful. So it was, the other thing the guys do is not, they don't always just do the touchdown dancer. Even if they do, something very quickly falls on the heels of that. That's how a guy should be in a police.

19:59🔗 David Alan Grier Does he cuddle? So you're saying he doesn't really want to cuddle up with you or anything like that, right?

20:03🔗 Caller No.

20:05🔗 David Alan Grier Have you ever, okay, if you try to, you know, hold him and just, you know, hold him in your arms and whisper in his ear, you're so gay. I mean, when you try to give him some physical contact, does he push you away or what?

20:20🔗 Caller Yeah, kind of. It's just kind of like awkward. I don't know if it's because it was something I did or...

20:25🔗 Drew No, no, no.

20:27🔗 David Alan Grier He's jacked up.

20:28🔗 Drew Yeah, it's something going on emotionally with him when he's close and feeling all these...

20:31🔗 David Alan Grier That's what I was thinking.

20:32🔗 Drew I just kind of move away. Hey, go ahead. If you're going to stay with him, go ahead and ask what happened.

20:37🔗 David Alan Grier Here's a weird thing, though. So he probably just dries up the tears and says, honey, you want to get a pizza? Like, just forget about it. He doesn't want to talk about it and ignore it or what? I mean, what do you do?

20:46🔗 Caller Ignore it.

20:47🔗 David Alan Grier He just ignored it. And have you tried to say, dude, what's up? You're crying like a bitch.

20:53🔗 Caller No, I just, I'm like, I just asked him if he's okay. And he's like, yeah, I'm fine. And he just kind of turns away.

20:58🔗 Wow. Wow.

21:00🔗 Drew No, it's not, listen, here, here's the, it's not okay. It's not normal. It's not what's up. You've been around, you don't know how to act. You need to know what's going on if this relationship is going to go on. That's it. Listen, it's okay to ask people, what's up?

21:12🔗 David Alan Grier What's up, Dr. Drew?

21:13🔗 Drew And it's, I just told you, I got back from a black tie and tail thing.

21:17🔗 David Alan Grier You said black people in the hallway.

21:18🔗 Drew No, I was coming to see a black people.

21:20🔗 David Alan Grier Okay.

21:21🔗 Drew But from a white tie.

21:22🔗 David Alan Grier What's going on?

21:22🔗 Drew And the black people in the white tie was just too much of a contrast for me.

21:25🔗 David Alan Grier This isn't a joke. What's going on? And what's going on with you?

21:29🔗 Drew Let me think. I'm telling you, nigger, that you would put...

21:33🔗 David Alan Grier I swear, I'm going to get my...

21:34🔗 Drew Do you know that people accuse me of saying that? You did do that. I did it. It is a cranky anchor thing. They were holding up signs for me to read.

21:42🔗 David Alan Grier And now my mood is changing. Let's just focus on the callers because now, you know...

21:45🔗 Drew All right, let's take a break. We need a break.

21:46🔗 David Alan Grier No, we don't need a break, Klansman.

21:48🔗 Drew All right, here we go. See? Anderson, I'm going to go ahead and kick your A. 5024.

21:55🔗 Caller Oh. Hey.

21:58🔗 David Alan Grier Hey, what's up?

21:59🔗 Caller What's up? My question to you guys is, first of all, how are you doing?

22:03🔗 Drew We're good. I'm trying to see if I'm good or not, but Dag won't give me a chance to sort of test, sort of examine my feelings.

22:10🔗 David Alan Grier Oh, what's going on, Dr. Drew?

22:13🔗 Drew I had a rough couple of days at the hospital, really rough, really rough.

22:16🔗 David Alan Grier Is it with the recovery people and stuff?

22:20🔗 Drew That's been part of it, yeah. It's been busy in a few places.

22:23🔗 David Alan Grier This is a bad time of year, though.

22:24🔗 Drew I was going to say, people, this time it's the most bizarre thing. Every year since I've been practicing medicine, within two weeks of Christmas and New Year's, people start, I feel like they're raining out of the sky, but not like they're all depressed and suicidal and drinking too much. They're having heart attacks and strokes.

22:41🔗 David Alan Grier It's stressful, man.

22:42🔗 Drew It's stressful.

22:42🔗 David Alan Grier I'm about to go home and my heart is beating and everything. It's stressful. Yeah. When you have your whole family, you wind up at the kitchen table. But you don't know me.

22:57🔗 Caller I need you. Oh, Stinkball, you old bunch of stinks. Who took my beer?

23:03🔗 David Alan Grier Oh, gee.

23:06🔗 David Alan Grier You know, it's always happens. Every year, every year.

23:10🔗 Drew And I'm trying, I'm trying. I'm going to Montana next week. Stay with some friends. Except for go skiing. And so I'm building. I'm trying to get everything done and organized and none, none, none, none, none, none.

23:21🔗 David Alan Grier But insanity never takes a vacation. What's going on?

23:25🔗 Drew Tell me about it.

23:25🔗 David Alan Grier What's going on, Dr. Drew?

23:26🔗 Drew I know these voices keep telling me to kill that, kill that, kill that.

23:29🔗 David Alan Grier Let me ask you something. Does Bipolar leave town? No, indeedy. Baba Lincoln stays right next door to you.

23:34🔗 Drew What's up, Misty?

23:34🔗 David Alan Grier There we go. Hey, Misty, did you play something for me?

23:38🔗 Drew Oh, you're funny.

23:41🔗 David Alan Grier Talking to Misty. Hang on.

23:42🔗 Caller 24 years of my life. Okay. My question to you all is, my husband and I have been together for about two years. We're currently, I guess you can say on hiatus, we're getting better. But our issue has been during sex. You know, I have no problem, you know, having an orgasm. That's not an issue. The issue is that sometimes, you know, it's almost like he loses interest and we just kind of give up. And a lot of times it causes problems in our relationship.

24:13🔗 Drew No, no, no, no. Well, well, well, you mean he loses his erection?

24:16🔗 Caller Exactly.

24:17🔗 Drew That's not him losing interest.

24:19🔗 David Alan Grier See, I thought she was saying that maybe it took you a little while longer to reach an orgasm.

24:25🔗 Drew Than him?

24:26🔗 David Alan Grier Yeah, right. And that if she didn't come quick enough, he would just be like, ah, finish off with that man.

24:32🔗 Drew Or maybe he has an orgasm and can't keep going or something.

24:35🔗 David Alan Grier But now what exactly are you telling us?

24:38🔗 Caller Well, okay. Well, for the past couple of times that we've had sex, it's been fine. It's been great. And both of us got our own and everything. But there has been quite a few times where he just doesn't orgasm at all. And yeah, he will lose his erection. It's almost like he says sometimes it's almost like he loses feeling. I take it completely the wrong way. I take it like he's not interested in me or like I'm not doing something right.

25:01🔗 Drew That is ridiculous. Well, you presented it to us that way.

25:03🔗 David Alan Grier That's not how you're on the right side. Something right there, Misty, it is your fault. More oral sex. And let's swallow with enthusiasm and vigor. And I want you to repeat after me. Good, honey bunny.

25:17🔗 Caller Can I have another mouthful?

25:20🔗 David Alan Grier That will help you. That will help you. Now, here's what I think is weird. You're telling me that you're on hiatus just because of this sexual issue? There's nothing else?

25:32🔗 Caller The reason why we're separate at the moment is completely different. But, you know, we're working out our issues and we're getting along pretty good now.

25:41🔗 Drew What were the issues?

25:42🔗 Caller What's happening while we were eating together?

25:43🔗 Caller Who's on drugs?

25:45🔗 Drew What's the issues? What's the issues?

25:48🔗 Caller Well, you know, I can be kind of a wench every once in a while, you know, and he has his issues too for a while, you know.

25:54🔗 Drew What are his issues?

25:55🔗 Caller Drinking and things like that.

25:58🔗 Drew I smell alcohol.

25:59🔗 David Alan Grier It might be why he's losing the boner.

26:01🔗 Drew Yeah, he's losing his boner because he's an alcoholic. And that's what happens.

26:05🔗 Caller He's not an alcoholic per se. I mean, I came from a very Christian family to where if he had more than, you know, three beers and all of a sudden you're an alcoholic, you know, so my perspective on alcoholism is completely different than what his might be.

26:19🔗 Drew Yeah, neither of you, neither of you matter because it has a specific definition and the definition is what it is.

26:25🔗 David Alan Grier What is the definition?

26:25🔗 Drew Family history, biological disorder, genetic basis, ongoing use in the face of adverse consequence.

26:30🔗 David Alan Grier Like what?

26:31🔗 Drew Affects on relationships and physical function.

26:33🔗 David Alan Grier My black eye, I ran into a tree.

26:35🔗 Drew Right, and finally denial. That's it. That defines it. Now it has mild forms, moderate forms and advanced forms. He may be in the more mild, the moderate forms, but a common feature of that could be sexual dysfunction.

26:46🔗 David Alan Grier Analyze and deny it.

26:47🔗 Caller He's come to terms with that issue, because that's why we separated and he quit drinking.

26:52🔗 Drew Oh, good. Well, there you go. Now, magically, he sustains his erection, right?

26:56🔗 David Alan Grier Honey, you better get a bag of ice cubes. You're going to need them.

27:00🔗 Drew Junior college?

27:01🔗 Caller We've been separated since July, and every time that we've been together besides these past couple of times, it has been a problem.

27:08🔗 Drew We gotta go.

27:08🔗 Caller Sometimes it just doesn't interest him.

27:10🔗 Drew Yeah. What's your question? Anything? Specific question?

27:14🔗 Caller That's the only question I had.

27:16🔗 Drew It's nothing to do with you. It's the guys lose their erection for many, many reasons, not because they're not attracted to the person they're with.

27:22🔗 David Alan Grier But it's always the wife's fault, though.

27:24🔗 Drew That is rarely, if ever, the issue. Guys, when they're having sex, they're in-dabbing sex, they lose erection because they're anxious, they're on drugs or other things.

27:30🔗 David Alan Grier They take a good look at what they're banging. That could do, too.

27:34🔗 Drew And that's dad is David Alan Grier. It's Loveline 1-800-LOVE-191.

27:38🔗 David Alan Grier I'm saying the lights go on, you're like, Oh my Jesus, Lord, I should not be hanging out at McGilliputty's.

27:46🔗 Caller Oh, what did I do?

27:48🔗 Drew And we shall be right back.

27:49🔗 Caller Yeah, yeah, Loveline.

27:52🔗 David Alan Grier Loveline will be right back.

27:56🔗 Drew Loveline 1-800-LOVE-191. Here is a question for David Alan Dag Grier.

28:03🔗 David Alan Grier Let me hear it, man.

28:05🔗 Drew Rick, 28.

28:06🔗 Caller Hey, guys, what's up? Hey, I wanted to tell David that he's doing a really, really wonderful job getting us in the show tonight.

28:14🔗 David Alan Grier Thank you so much, man.

28:15🔗 Caller No, for real. I mean, I really miss uh-uh-uh, but you're doing a really wonderful job.

28:22🔗 David Alan Grier There's no uh-uh-uh here. You can say it.

28:25🔗 Caller We know you're really talking. They told me not to say it, but hey, uh-uh-uh, I miss you, dude.

28:30🔗 David Alan Grier I miss him, too. I miss him, too.

28:32🔗 Caller Can I say, uh, David, I really, really love you in both Collateral and in Jarhead. I love you so much.

28:38🔗 David Alan Grier Thank you so much. Thank you so much.

28:40🔗 Caller And I thank you for letting us talk.

28:41🔗 David Alan Grier Get my new album.

28:43🔗 Caller I'm sorry?

28:44🔗 David Alan Grier Get my new album.

28:45🔗 Drew What about his singing?

28:46🔗 Caller Uh, you know what? I heard him sing tonight and the boy can sing.

28:50🔗 David Alan Grier The man.

28:51🔗 David Alan Grier The man can sing.

28:53🔗 David Alan Grier All right, you take it easy. Jarhead, that's a Jamie Foxx movie. Bastard.

28:58🔗 Drew Nikki.

28:59🔗 David Alan Grier What did he think? Did he think he was calling it hot?

29:00🔗 Drew Were you not in there?

29:01🔗 David Alan Grier No, I wasn't.

29:02🔗 Drew I didn't see it.

29:02🔗 David Alan Grier I was in either one.

29:03🔗 Drew What are you funny?

29:04🔗 David Alan Grier I wasn't in either one.

29:05🔗 Drew He must be kidding.

29:06🔗 David Alan Grier I thought he was, but then I think I don't think he was.

29:08🔗 Drew He was totally joking. You don't think he was.

29:11🔗 David Alan Grier He was the same guy. He's an ass.

29:12🔗 Caller Who is that interrupting?

29:14🔗 Drew Anderson.

29:14🔗 David Alan Grier Oh, my God.

29:16🔗 Drew Nikki, 20.

29:17🔗 David Alan Grier Stick it up for you, buddy.

29:18🔗 Caller Hey, Dr. Drew, I had a question. What does ecstasy do to your organs, like your kidneys or your liver?

29:27🔗 Drew It leaves that all fairly intact. The real problem is what it does to your brain.

29:31🔗 Caller Right.

29:32🔗 Drew It damages your brain.

29:33🔗 Caller I've been having really bad problems. I'm thinking it's with my kidneys because I've been peeing blood and I have really bad lower back problems.

29:42🔗 Drew Yeah, you have an infection. That infection can get out of control. You can get septic. You can get your kidneys shut down.

29:48🔗 Caller It's been like this for a while. I mean, it comes and goes. I've been to the hospital and they've done tests on me.

29:54🔗 Drew On the blood and the urine?

29:55🔗 Caller Yeah.

29:56🔗 David Alan Grier What do they say? What does the hospital say?

30:00🔗 Caller They're just like, well, you need to go to a specialist.

30:02🔗 Drew Yes, you do.

30:04🔗 Caller They say it's not that serious, but I have such bad lower back pain.

30:09🔗 Drew It can be serious. The bladder and the kidney both can refer to the back area. So it's not low back pain. It's really your urogenital system is hurting. And it can be tumors in the bladder. It can be kidney stones. It can be something called IGA nephropathy. There's a lot of different funny things like that. There can be intrinsic diseases of the kidney that can cause blood in the urine. So it is something that needs to be evaluated right away.

30:30🔗 David Alan Grier Is there something called a kidney brick?

30:33🔗 Drew Well, not tonight.

30:34🔗 Caller It wasn't very urgent.

30:36🔗 Drew It isn't urgent until you have it once you know what it is. But at this point, it's just a symptom. And a symptom can be caused, this particular symptom, can be caused by a range of serious conditions.

30:46🔗 David Alan Grier So why the question about ecstasy? When you said, can ecstasy cause this? Have you taken a lot of ecstasy?

30:51🔗 Caller Yeah, I've done a lot.

30:52🔗 David Alan Grier Like how much a lot?

30:55🔗 Caller Probably in a month's time span, I've probably taken roughly 90 to 100 pills.

31:01🔗 David Alan Grier Okay, I'm high from talking to you. That's beautiful.

31:04🔗 Drew I mean, and that's going to...

31:06🔗 Caller To my other question, as far as... Cause I'm feeling it, like I haven't done it for a while because it totally, it was hurting me.

31:15🔗 Drew Yeah, you get panicky, you start...

31:17🔗 Caller 90 to 100 pills?

31:18🔗 Drew Yeah, you get a lot of panic, you get agoraphobia, want to isolate, get depressed.

31:23🔗 Caller I would cry on myself to sleep hysterically.

31:26🔗 Drew Yeah, you're depressed.

31:27🔗 Caller Like hysterically crying.

31:28🔗 Drew Yeah, well this unfortunately stays with you, sometimes, mostly permanently, some of these depressions. So that needs to be dealt with too.

31:35🔗 David Alan Grier This seems like also like a case like this would be like she was depressed before she took the ecstasy, so it became a way to medicate herself and it worsened it.

31:49🔗 Caller But it...

31:50🔗 David Alan Grier Like a happy, wonderful 90, 100 times in 30 days? Sure, every few months pop three or four tabs, tab it up with your friends. I'm not saying I do that, I just hear that some of the young people do that, Dr. Drew.

32:04🔗 Drew Some of them.

32:04🔗 David Alan Grier This is a lot, this is a lot though.

32:06🔗 Drew Yeah, and I've dealt with lots of people like this, and they always end up depressed, they always end up with panic attacks.

32:10🔗 Caller Can my body recover since I'm so young? Everybody tells me that, you know, if I stop and I'm healthy, it'll recover itself.

32:19🔗 Drew Not completely.

32:20🔗 David Alan Grier But a lot, but a lot.

32:21🔗 Drew You gotta stop. You gotta get better when you are. And you need some medication to support the injury. Just like if you've broken your leg doing some crazy sport, you'd get it set, and you'd take the medication to help it heal.

32:31🔗 David Alan Grier You sound really depressed and, you know.

32:33🔗 Drew And this business about not getting your kidney pathology or bladder illness taken care of is, I think, all part of this ecstasy thing. Your judgment is off right now. You need to go to people and get help. Okay, Nikki?

32:44🔗 Caller Well, kind of.

32:45🔗 Caller All right.

32:46🔗 Caller And another thing. I have another quick question. If I was to have, you know, in the future a kid, is that going to affect me having a baby?

32:55🔗 Drew Not specifically any fertility issues, but it's going to affect your ability to be a mother and tolerate the stress of all that. So you need to get some management with this. Kristen, 12.

33:04🔗 Caller Oh, 12.

33:06🔗 Caller Yeah, 12.

33:07🔗 Caller I really need some advice about this.

33:12🔗 Caller Okay, yeah, I'm 12. There's this guy, like, he's in his 20s. I mean, I really have no idea what to do about this. And you know that I've had so many people tell me that for my age, I'm mentally You haven't told us.

33:29🔗 Drew Well, well, well, well, well, you can forget about all that because you're 12.

33:32🔗 Caller Yeah.

33:33🔗 Drew But what is it that you have with this guy?

33:36🔗 Caller Well, I mean, we're friends.

33:39🔗 Caller I mean, it's our it's like a church thing.

33:44🔗 Drew But you're an F-bomb coming, by the way.

33:46🔗 David Alan Grier No, no, I don't.

33:48🔗 Caller It's not like most church youth group things where it's completely stuff, you know, Kristen, we don't have any idea what you're describing here.

34:00🔗 Drew Is this a guy that works near you? Is this guy you talk to?

34:02🔗 David Alan Grier Who is a counselor or a teacher?

34:05🔗 Drew Who is this guy? What kind of relationship? What are you talking about? We don't even know what you're describing yet.

34:09🔗 David Alan Grier I know me.

34:11🔗 Caller He will go to the same church and he's in the youth group as a team member.

34:16🔗 Drew All right. And so what?

34:17🔗 Caller And I mean, I don't know. I don't know. I really I don't really know why I like him. He's just a really nice person.

34:23🔗 Drew All right. You have a crush on him. Good. That's fine. That's healthy.

34:25🔗 Caller I really don't know what to do about it, though.

34:27🔗 Drew Nothing. Nothing to be done.

34:29🔗 David Alan Grier Experience it from afar. But you know what? You're calling this show. Now, what makes you want to call this show if it's healthy, normal, and nothing about you is saying that...

34:38🔗 Drew Or maybe this guy is the weirdo.

34:40🔗 David Alan Grier Well, wait a minute. I mean, you wouldn't be calling if you said, I should pursue this. I'm sure of it. It's the right thing to do.

34:46🔗 Caller I don't even know if he knows about this.

34:48🔗 David Alan Grier So that's the thing.

34:49🔗 Drew Good. Excellent. Beautiful.

34:50🔗 David Alan Grier You're acting your age, right?

34:52🔗 Drew Let it be a crush. That's fine. If you were to tell him and he were to respond to it in any way, you should call the police. Yes, you should tell your parents and me. That would make him a very sick man. Not because there's nothing wrong with you, but because when you're 20 or 24, wherever this guy is, you think about that guy that would choose to be with a 12-year-old, you'll retch yourself.

35:16🔗 David Alan Grier But he hasn't done anything inappropriate?

35:18🔗 Drew No.

35:19🔗 Caller He's a really nice person.

35:21🔗 Caller He goes to the youth group. He does lots of stuff like that.

35:25🔗 Drew Good. Admire him. Admire him and have a crush on him, whatever you wish. It's all good. No problem.

35:32🔗 David Alan Grier Anderson is ripping it up tonight.

35:35🔗 Drew J33.

35:35🔗 David Alan Grier He's like spinning. This special effect, that one.

35:38🔗 Drew He's high. J33, what's up buddy?

35:41🔗 Caller Yeah, I got a question about role playing in relationships. I've been with this girl for about 5-6 years now and when we first started dating, we were really into role playing and stuff like that.

35:51🔗 Drew Role playing?

35:52🔗 Caller Role playing. Kind of like the...

35:55🔗 Drew Dungeons and Dragons?

35:56🔗 David Alan Grier PDSM.

35:58🔗 Caller Submission and Dominance type things. She got me into... She asked me one time to cross-dress for her and we did. We've done it many times.

36:08🔗 Drew We did? We did? Or you did?

36:11🔗 David Alan Grier I did. This sounds like the same caller last night. You know, it was like the guy made him gay when he was married. So what's your question?

36:19🔗 Caller My question is this. I've become fascinated with it to the point now where sexually it's one of the only things that actually brings arousal in our relationship. What?

36:30🔗 David Alan Grier To be dressed like a woman?

36:32🔗 Caller Not completely. It's more of just wearing undergarments, stuff like that.

36:36🔗 David Alan Grier Now she... So she was the dominant. She was the dominant. You were subbing and stuff. She turned you out, dude.

36:41🔗 Drew You have been tart, tart out. What's that?

36:45🔗 Caller Really?

36:45🔗 You think so?

36:47🔗 David Alan Grier Give him the bogey. Give him the bogey test.

36:48🔗 Caller It's not bogus. It's not bogus at all.

36:50🔗 David Alan Grier What exactly, what garments do you like wearing?

36:54🔗 Caller What do I like? The silk, like any type of, like, silk negligee or panties. It's just... It's the textile feeling for me that actually arouses me. I mean, I get to the point anymore. I mean, I've even gone to my own doctor about erectile dysfunction because I... There was for a while where I wasn't doing it. I honestly, I could not become aroused during any type of contact or any type of intimacy without that being there.

37:20🔗 Drew With the same girl?

37:21🔗 Caller Same girl.

37:22🔗 David Alan Grier Are you with her now?

37:24🔗 Caller Yes, I am.

37:25🔗 David Alan Grier So, what's your question? You want to stop doing this?

37:27🔗 Caller Well, no. My question is, you know, do I need to seek psychiatric advice? I mean...

37:34🔗 David Alan Grier Not if you're happy.

37:36🔗 Caller But, is this a normal activity? I guess, I guess I've got a lot of questions and confusion about it.

37:44🔗 Drew Well, you know, you're functioning otherwise well in life?

37:47🔗 Caller Yeah.

37:48🔗 Drew I mean, I... Are you happy in this relationship?

37:52🔗 David Alan Grier Don't get your panties in the air, Dr. Fennus.

37:53🔗 Caller I mean, if somebody asks me to see myself married to...

37:56🔗 Drew And is she okay? She's happy and monogamous and working?

38:00🔗 Caller As far as I know, she's happy. I mean, she hasn't complained about it or anything like that.

38:04🔗 Drew What does she do for a living?

38:06🔗 Caller What does she do? She's a professional. She works in a law office.

38:09🔗 Drew What do you do for a living?

38:11🔗 Caller I also work for a law company.

38:13🔗 David Alan Grier But, dude...

38:14🔗 Drew What does that mean, work for a law company?

38:15🔗 David Alan Grier You could be working there, you know?

38:17🔗 Drew You file papers or you're an attorney?

38:19🔗 Caller We're both paralegals.

38:21🔗 David Alan Grier Dude, do you guys ever fight and she never pulls this out in the heat of an argument?

38:26🔗 Drew Uses it against you?

38:27🔗 Caller Yeah, she has a couple of times threatened to tell friends and stuff like that.

38:31🔗 David Alan Grier Oh no, I'd kill her buried in the backyard.

38:33🔗 Drew That doesn't sound healthy.

38:35🔗 Yeah, so she's...

38:38🔗 David Alan Grier I don't know, dude.

38:39🔗 Drew I don't know.

38:40🔗 David Alan Grier Stay away from the home videos.

38:42🔗 Drew I'm still thinking bogus. Oh yeah. But here's the deal. Were you traumatized growing up?

38:48🔗 Caller I was molested when I was younger, yes.

38:52🔗 Drew And were you addicted to anything at any time?

38:55🔗 Caller I have alcoholism that runs through my family, but I don't have any issues with it.

38:58🔗 Drew This is not a bogus call. It's starting to fit together, so...

39:01🔗 David Alan Grier Yeah, starting to?

39:02🔗 Drew Starting to.

39:02🔗 David Alan Grier Let me tell you something, Mr. Jaded. Jaded, I don't want to heal any one man. I think you've been screwed around with when you were a kid, and I want you to buck up and you deal with these callers with energy and empathy. Everybody's not a scam artist, Dr. Drew. This man is reaching out.

39:18🔗 David Alan Grier He needs help. Maybe you need to put those panties on.

39:21🔗 Drew Sing to him.

39:22🔗 David Alan Grier I want you to... No, man, I didn't think he was bogus, but listen, you know what it is? Here's what I think. I mean, if you were happy... But fruit in the middle is juicy, it's sweet because it's fruit and in the middle... If you're happy about it, but it sounds like you're really troubled. That's the part of the call.

39:42🔗 Drew Here's the deal, that these things never exist as an isolated symptom. There's other stuff going on. And the fact that she would threaten you with really intimate material that's so shaming and difficult and potentially sort of vulnerable, sort of take advantage of your vulnerability that you've developed with her. I don't like that. That's troubling.

40:04🔗 David Alan Grier But I have like in my own life, you go out with a chick who's really straight, they're like, oh, I would never let you tie me up or anything like that. Just leave some stuff around the house and then all of a sudden, like, here, why don't you put these handcuffs on me? You turn them out, man.

40:20🔗 David Alan Grier Turn these hoes out.

40:23🔗 Drew That's your specialty. It's a specialty you've got, huh?

40:25🔗 David Alan Grier Yes, sir.

40:26🔗 Drew Turning them out.

40:27🔗 David Alan Grier Yes, sir. Yeah, he's been turned out, man. I don't think there's any going back now.

40:31🔗 Drew Well, again, it's up to you, Jay. If you want to look into it a little further, I'm sure there's material to be had. It sounds like you are sort of feeling uncomfortable. It's much more than we can assess the few moments we have with you on the radio. But speaking of a few moments, we're going to be gone for a few minutes now. So do give us a call. 1-800-LOVE-191. The guest tonight is David Alan Grier.

40:49🔗 Caller Glad to help.

40:52🔗 Loveline will be back. Glad to hear it. Loveline will be right back.

41:08🔗 Drew Loveline, 1-800-LOVE-191, David Alan Grier. Here's an interesting call from Elizabeth, age 14.

41:17🔗 David Alan Grier Lizzie?

41:18🔗 Caller Yes.

41:19🔗 David Alan Grier How are you?

41:21🔗 Caller I'm good.

41:22🔗 Caller How are you?

41:23🔗 David Alan Grier Fine. And you?

41:25🔗 Caller You just asked me that.

41:27🔗 David Alan Grier I did.

41:27🔗 Drew How's your mom?

41:29🔗 Caller My mom is dead.

41:33🔗 David Alan Grier Oh, what happened?

41:38🔗 Drew Elizabeth?

41:39🔗 David Alan Grier Yes.

41:40🔗 Drew And?

41:41🔗 David Alan Grier Oh, she went out.

41:42🔗 Drew That would be that. Mike, 24.

41:44🔗 David Alan Grier Oh boy, that was spooky.

41:45🔗 Caller Hey, what's up, guys?

41:47🔗 David Alan Grier She was still there, guys.

41:48🔗 Caller Oh, okay.

41:48🔗 Drew We couldn't hear her, but I'll go back to her. Tell her to hold on. So what's up, Mike?

41:52🔗 Caller Hey, what's up, guys? Long time listener, first time caller. Dag, good to see you, man.

41:57🔗 Caller What's up?

41:58🔗 Caller I hope you spend more time on Loveline.

42:00🔗 Caller Yeah.

42:01🔗 David Alan Grier I love it here.

42:02🔗 Caller I hope you end up being more of a permanent fixture. Other than just the one with the best.

42:09🔗 David Alan Grier I would love to. There's nothing like healing babies.

42:13🔗 Caller I got a question for you, Dag, actually. I'm 24 and I am a pretty cliche white guy. Got no rhythm, can't dance, but I kind of like black ladies. But I got-

42:27🔗 David Alan Grier Nothing wrong with that. You got a chocolate problem, don't you?

42:30🔗 Caller I do. But here's the thing. I got no problem talking to ladies of my own race. No big deal. I'm a pretty confident guy. I'm decent looking. I don't have problems with ladies, but I got no clue how to approach the-

42:46🔗 David Alan Grier The sisters.

42:47🔗 Caller I was hoping you might give me some tips.

42:48🔗 David Alan Grier Wait a minute.

42:49🔗 Caller You said- I'm a little intimidated.

42:50🔗 David Alan Grier But hold on. You're attracted to black women, but you have never really gone up and completed the transaction. Yeah.

42:59🔗 Caller I got hooked up with a girl once, a mutual friend, but she wasn't raised in the black culture. You know what I mean?

43:09🔗 David Alan Grier I hear you. You guys are like, oh my God, you're so awesome.

43:13🔗 Caller You know what I'm talking about? So I'm intimidated, but I don't just-

43:19🔗 Drew Because you don't know the-

43:20🔗 David Alan Grier I'm going to give you some advice. Do you work? Where do you work?

43:24🔗 Caller I don't really want to say.

43:26🔗 Drew What kind of work?

43:27🔗 Caller What kind of work?

43:27🔗 David Alan Grier No, I'm not just saying. It doesn't matter.

43:29🔗 Caller I work in kind of a law office building, basically.

43:31🔗 David Alan Grier Right. Black people there?

43:34🔗 Caller Yeah. Yeah. I'm like-

43:36🔗 Drew What kind of place would that be?

43:37🔗 David Alan Grier Well, no, I'm saying, man, you got to go to a black club, brother. Go to a black club. You have to go to a black club. Go online. Chocolate singles. You got to mix it up.

43:46🔗 Drew I think that would intimidate him even more though. He doesn't need his African American friends to kind of just take him with him kind of thing.

43:54🔗 David Alan Grier Because I see what he's saying. He wants to get a shot.

43:56🔗 Drew Yeah, but he wants to walk in cold on his own.

43:59🔗 David Alan Grier It's like, I mean, you're asking me how to do it. You walk up and talk to him, man. Women are women. They want to be loved. They want to hug, man.

44:06🔗 Drew I find it weird that he's-

44:08🔗 David Alan Grier Yeah, just say, look, I want to bang your big, bulbous butt. No, you just hit him.

44:15🔗 Drew That's the kind of line they love. They love that kind of stuff.

44:18🔗 David Alan Grier No, but I'll tell you where you go.

44:20🔗 David Alan Grier You got to go places where you know young chocolate singles are going to be at, like Chocolate Sundaes, Laugh Factory.

44:27🔗 Drew Chocolate Sundaes?

44:28🔗 David Alan Grier Chocolate Sundaes. There's a place called- It's black comedy, a lot of banging girls. Well, you got to get in your local paper and find out where it is, okay? Go where the black people are, jail, court, you know. Get in there. All right, good luck.

44:42🔗 Drew All right, thanks for the question. That's David Alan Grier. Come on, talk to him, 1-800-LOVE-191. This is Loveline. It's time for us to take one more quick break.

44:51🔗 David Alan Grier Beautiful.

45:09🔗 Drew Oh boy, it's Loveline, 1-800-LOV-E-191. David's going to serenade us some more.

45:16🔗 David Alan Grier Shabab-bab-dee-go.

45:19🔗 David Alan Grier I take my inspiration from these sick children. Next caller, Dr. Drew.

45:23🔗 Drew We're going to try to get back to Elizabeth here. She's 14. Elizabeth?

45:26🔗 Caller Yes.

45:27🔗 Drew There you go. What's up?

45:29🔗 Caller Nothing.

45:31🔗 David Alan Grier Okay.

45:33🔗 Drew Did you call a radio show?

45:34🔗 David Alan Grier Nothing at all.

45:35🔗 Caller Yeah.

45:36🔗 Drew Do you want to talk to us?

45:38🔗 Caller Yeah. I think I already told you my question.

45:44🔗 Drew No, not us.

45:45🔗 David Alan Grier You're on the air now.

45:46🔗 Caller This is a new deal.

45:47🔗 Caller I'm on the air?

45:48🔗 Drew Yes. You're on the air. Let's go.

45:50🔗 Caller Okay.

45:52🔗 Caller Well, I've been with probably about 20 guys.

45:56🔗 Drew At 14?

45:58🔗 Caller At 14. And about eight out of every 10. So like almost all of them, when they're eating, you know, they start sneezing.

46:12🔗 David Alan Grier Yeah.

46:13🔗 Drew Turn your radio down. Do you live like in a group home or something?

46:18🔗 Caller No.

46:19🔗 Drew What's going on? What went wrong, Elizabeth? 20 guys, 14.

46:24🔗 David Alan Grier That's really your question.

46:26🔗 Caller Well, I'm pretty like developed for my age.

46:30🔗 Drew Yeah. But still being developed and acting out like this are two different issues. What's up with your parents? Your mom died.

46:41🔗 Caller My mom's dead.

46:43🔗 Drew What she died of? Addiction.

46:45🔗 Caller A car crash.

46:46🔗 Drew Car crash.

46:48🔗 David Alan Grier Is your dad around?

46:50🔗 Caller Yeah. But I live with my grandma half time.

46:54🔗 Drew And what's up with your dad? How come he doesn't take in?

46:57🔗 Caller He's kind of and-

47:00🔗 Drew He's what?

47:01🔗 David Alan Grier You're breaking up.

47:04🔗 Drew Elizabeth.

47:05🔗 Caller Yes.

47:06🔗 Drew Concentrate. What's up with your dad?

47:08🔗 Caller My dad's poor and he doesn't have like a big house.

47:13🔗 Drew Right. That's a lot of poor people have kids. A lot of people have kids. Why can't he keep you?

47:18🔗 Caller I don't know.

47:19🔗 Drew All right. So we don't know what's up with your dad and your mom, was your mom drunk or something when she got in a car accident? I mean, this is not just a sparriture.

47:25🔗 Caller No, but a drunken teenager did crash into her.

47:27🔗 Drew Hit her. And was everybody poor when she was around?

47:32🔗 Caller Yeah.

47:33🔗 Caller Well, they were separated.

47:35🔗 Drew Separated.

47:35🔗 David Alan Grier Hold on. Dr. Drew. Okay. So why did you call? You told us you slept with how many men? Do you feel good about that? I mean, are you happy with your life? You don't sound very happy.

47:45🔗 Caller I'm not happy with my life and I want to change it.

47:49🔗 David Alan Grier Okay, great.

47:49🔗 Caller Excellent.

47:50🔗 David Alan Grier What do you want to change?

47:55🔗 Caller I just really don't want to be sleeping around and I hate it when people call me a slut. And I can't help it because I feel like that's all I have.

48:04🔗 David Alan Grier No, yeah, you can. You know what's even greater? To gain power and say no and change your life and force people to view you in a different light. That's real power as opposed to saying you don't have any power, so you might as well sleep with the next guy because everyone's calling you a slut anyway.

48:23🔗 Drew Elizabeth, do you have any good friends?

48:25🔗 Caller Yeah.

48:27🔗 Drew A lot of them?

48:29🔗 Caller About six.

48:30🔗 Drew Are they stable people?

48:35🔗 Caller Most of my friends are pretty rich and they make me feel really bad about my lifestyle.

48:41🔗 Drew Are you doing drugs and alcohol?

48:43🔗 Caller I drink but I don't do drugs.

48:45🔗 Drew And do you have any hobbies or things you're interested in?

48:49🔗 Caller No, really.

48:51🔗 Drew All right, Lisbeth, you need to get some help with this then. We're sort of hitting jet ends everywhere with you. Depression can be treated. You've had a big loss with your mom. There's a lot of chaos in your life right now. Thank God you're smart and you want to change things. You realize this is a road you're going down that is going to be extremely destructive. You feel bad about yourself relative to the kind of the life you'd like to be living. That's fine. Let's get it going. You really have got a lot to offer. You've got to know that. And the only way that's going to happen is with improvement in your relationships. And stability in your life. And you doing things that make you feel good. That's it. It's very simple, but it's very hard to do. Listen. You need stable relationships. That is what's going to...

49:34🔗 David Alan Grier At 14, what are you supposed to be good at?

49:36🔗 Drew Right. Exactly.

49:37🔗 David Alan Grier You're a child still.

49:38🔗 Drew She's good at sex with these boys. And that's what makes her feel good about herself. That's the problem. And there may be medications and things to help you with the depression because that sounds rather severe. And even just, you know, that's what a therapist would be for you, Elizabeth. There's just a person you talk to and have a stable relationship with. I can't tell you how useful that would be for you, whether somebody at school, county mental health services, local outreach services, or their mental health clinics, everywhere that are prorated services.

50:02🔗 David Alan Grier What do you think of peer counseling?

50:04🔗 Drew Peer counseling.

50:05🔗 David Alan Grier Well, not in terms of this particular area.

50:08🔗 Drew Peer counseling, I'm very in favor of in terms of shaping behavior, but I think she needs some real self-esteem building.

50:14🔗 David Alan Grier Don't you find that when so many times when people are in freefall or they act out in a way and they express remorse, they're in a state of severe pain.

50:23🔗 Drew Yes, they act out more than they did before, but then they act out more. But it's insight.

50:26🔗 David Alan Grier But that pain, absolutely. That's good. That means that this is the way you're supposed to feel.

50:32🔗 Drew Right, right. It's people that feel good about it.

50:34🔗 David Alan Grier Right, go and say, go get some treatment. If you felt nothing, then you're pathological.

50:41🔗 Drew Right, I realize that the impulse to do more of that acting out or that stuff that makes you unhappy is just a response to try to manage that unhappiness that you can't by any other means. Jamie, 16.

50:52🔗 Caller Yes.

50:53🔗 Caller What's up?

50:55🔗 Caller Okay, I had a very serious question.

50:57🔗 Drew Okay, here we go.

50:58🔗 Caller When I was about 9 or 8, I got molested by one of my mother's best friends.

51:06🔗 Drew Perfectly normal. Male?

51:08🔗 Caller Yes, male.

51:08🔗 Drew Okay.

51:09🔗 Caller And now like when I started my period when I was 13, after the first week, after that I started noticing white fluid coming out and I'm not sure what that might be.

51:25🔗 Drew Probably normal, normal discharge. Usually that comes in just before your period. You notice it just before?

51:31🔗 Caller Before and after.

51:32🔗 Drew Yeah, that's a normal discharge. There's a normal increase before the period and sometimes after as well. What are you afraid that it might be?

51:39🔗 Caller I don't know. Well, I had no sex, so I don't know if it's an STD or anything.

51:44🔗 Drew Wait, you say you were molested, but you've never had sex?

51:48🔗 Caller Yeah.

51:48🔗 Drew How were you molested?

51:49🔗 Caller Since then, since then.

51:50🔗 Caller Sexually.

51:51🔗 Drew So you had sex with that person?

51:54🔗 Caller Yeah, they molested me when I was-

51:55🔗 Drew Okay, so you could have gotten an STD from that person, right?

51:59🔗 Caller Probably.

52:00🔗 Drew Yeah. Well, that would have presented itself long ago. You would have had other symptoms well before this, but it would be a good idea to go to a gynecologist or a regular doctor and get checked out, have proper culture done, make sure you can get chlamydia or HPV, which are things that can stick around for a long time.

52:16🔗 Caller Is that curable, though?

52:18🔗 Drew The HPV is not curable, but the tendency for the HPV to form cervical cancer can be managed and taken care of, no problem. And if it's chlamydia, yes, it can be treated.

52:29🔗 David Alan Grier Is there nobody, there's no woman or man, older sister or mom, that talked to you about your menstrual cycle and all that stuff, how it's supposed to go and things to expect?

52:40🔗 Caller Yeah, I knew all about it, but just...

52:43🔗 David Alan Grier But how did you learn about it?

52:47🔗 Caller School and stuff.

52:49🔗 David Alan Grier But no one in your family, right?

52:52🔗 Caller Yeah, they talked to me about it too, but I never told them anything about this.

52:56🔗 Drew The abuse. They don't know about the abuse? It's time to open up about that, Jamie. You got to get some help with this, because it's going to affect your relationships forever if you don't do something about it.

53:04🔗 David Alan Grier Absolutely. Dr. Drew, before we take another caller, you ready?

53:08🔗 Drew Yeah.

53:09🔗 David Alan Grier What's going on?

53:10🔗 Drew Yeah, I was thinking about it. It's the build up to the holiday, and I've got this trip, and I've got just lots of loose ends, and my car's breaking down.

53:19🔗 David Alan Grier All right, let's take it one at a time.

53:20🔗 Caller Anything can cause addiction, Adam.

53:23🔗 David Alan Grier Did you know that? It's true.

53:24🔗 Drew And I've got my wife's birthday is tomorrow, and my father's birthday is the next day, and Christmas the next day.

53:30🔗 David Alan Grier Let's focus on one thing at a time.

53:31🔗 Drew I can't be listening. I can't tell you.

53:33🔗 David Alan Grier Focus in.

53:33🔗 Drew It's something good. That's going to make me feel better.

53:35🔗 David Alan Grier Long and brown and a quarter of a pound.

53:37🔗 David Alan Grier Blood out, blood out, blood out, blood out.

53:41🔗 David Alan Grier What are you going to do? You're going to take her out? You took her out tonight.

53:44🔗 Drew You're going to keep her in.

53:45🔗 David Alan Grier You're going to get rid of the kids. Yeah, keep her in.

53:48🔗 Drew Now we have dinners out tomorrow and Friday and then travel at 5 in the morning on Saturday. And haven't slept in multiple days.

53:53🔗 Caller The hospitals are busy.

53:54🔗 David Alan Grier Let's take a call or a whiner.

53:55🔗 Drew So if I seem stressed out, I have been. Michael, 21.

53:59🔗 Caller Yes, hello?

54:00🔗 Caller Hey, what's up?

54:02🔗 Caller Well, I'm in a relationship right now with a girl. She's 23 years old. I'm 21 and I have Down syndrome. And we've been engaged now for two and a half years. And I wasn't sure if this is just like a pity relationship because everything was happening of actual marriage. She just kind of blows it off and like, you know, changes the subject.

54:26🔗 Drew Well, first of all, she wouldn't have been with you two and a half years out of pity. No way. And by the way, congratulations for calling us. You're the first pay-a-person with Down Syndrome is called this show.

54:36🔗 Caller Well, there's you talking to me.

54:38🔗 Drew Yeah, I have tried something.

54:39🔗 David Alan Grier Yeah, I'm sorry. Now, tell us more about your your fiance. What does she do?

54:43🔗 Caller What does she do?

54:44🔗 David Alan Grier Yeah. I mean, does she have a career yet? Or what does she want to do at the moment?

54:49🔗 Caller She's in school right now.

54:51🔗 David Alan Grier And what's she studying to be?

54:53🔗 Caller I think it's law.

54:55🔗 David Alan Grier Law.

54:56🔗 Caller Yeah.

54:56🔗 David Alan Grier All right. OK. OK. Every time you bring up marriage, has she said no or is this just lately?

55:03🔗 Caller Well, she said yes, like two years ago. Right. But as of late, it hasn't, like every single time I bring it up, it's like she's afraid. And we have gotten sexual and I want to have children and a family. But it's, I just don't know.

55:18🔗 Drew What do you mean?

55:20🔗 David Alan Grier She is still in school, though. She is still in school and that's...

55:23🔗 Drew I'm putting it off. What do you mean?

55:24🔗 David Alan Grier Well, it's a stressful time.

55:25🔗 Drew You guys are... you have intercourse?

55:27🔗 Caller Yes. We've had it three times.

55:29🔗 Drew OK. Three times in two and a half years.

55:31🔗 David Alan Grier Well, you know, that's a lot for some people.

55:35🔗 Drew And this is an exclusive relationship?

55:37🔗 Caller Um, yes.

55:40🔗 David Alan Grier Are you sure?

55:42🔗 Caller I'm pretty sure, because she doesn't tell me a lot of things because she thinks I won't understand them. But I do. I do understand them. But it takes me a little while longer.

55:55🔗 David Alan Grier Well, let me ask you something. Has her behavior changed? I mean, at some point in the relationship, because that doesn't sound good to me, Dr. Drew. If he says that, his girlfriend doesn't tell him a lot of things.

56:08🔗 Drew And they've had sex three times in two and a half years.

56:11🔗 David Alan Grier Well, you told me that that was par for the course for you.

56:13🔗 David Alan Grier No.

56:15🔗 David Alan Grier I mean, so tell me, has your girlfriend changed in terms of how she talks to you, how she deals with you, emotionally, physically?

56:23🔗 Caller Yes, I think she takes advantage of me often, because my parents were wealthy.

56:29🔗 David Alan Grier Uh-huh.

56:30🔗 Caller And they passed. Right.

56:33🔗 Drew So you think she's after your money?

56:35🔗 Caller I don't know. I love her to bits.

56:38🔗 Drew How often do you see her?

56:39🔗 David Alan Grier Let's call her.

56:40🔗 Drew How often do you see her?

56:42🔗 Caller How often do I see her? She lives in my house, so I see her every night.

56:47🔗 David Alan Grier You guys live together?

56:49🔗 Caller Yes.

56:50🔗 Caller All right.

56:50🔗 David Alan Grier Now, do you have any siblings, any brothers or sisters, or anybody else in your family after your parents passed away?

56:57🔗 Caller No, I do not.

56:58🔗 Drew Do you have a conservator?

57:00🔗 Caller No, I am independent.

57:03🔗 Drew Wow.

57:04🔗 David Alan Grier Really, really, really.

57:05🔗 David Alan Grier But you know, you have to listen to yourself because although you say that you love her to bits, it doesn't sound good to me, Dr. Drew. You're asking yourself, is she taking advantage of you? You're just saying that she doesn't tell you a lie.

57:21🔗 Drew Yeah, Michael, you need to get some other friends that don't have downs who might have sort of ability to look at this more objectively than you do and kind of give you an assessment. And then you go ahead and...

57:33🔗 David Alan Grier Can we invite them into the radio station? I'd be happy to do that.

57:36🔗 Drew Right now?

57:37🔗 David Alan Grier Well, where do you guys live? Are you in LA.?

57:40🔗 Caller No, I live in Orchard.

57:43🔗 Drew Oregon?

57:45🔗 Caller Orchard.

57:47🔗 David Alan Grier Okay, fine. He lives in Orchard. But you know what? Bring them into the station, man. I'll do an assessment. You know I'm a professional at that, Dr. Drew.

57:55🔗 Drew I know you can work them.

57:56🔗 David Alan Grier You know I can work. I can turn it out, baby.

57:59🔗 Drew Alright, Michael.

58:00🔗 David Alan Grier Well, good luck. Tread carefully. Don't dwell on this marriage thing, man, because you know it's much easier to say I do than I don't.

58:06🔗 Drew And once you say I do, you are splitting stuff with her. Maybe you can give yourself an attorney.

58:12🔗 David Alan Grier Once you say I do, then she says she won't. Hey, look out.

58:15🔗 Drew Oh, you're good.

58:16🔗 David Alan Grier Oh my God.

58:16🔗 Drew Michael, what about an attorney?

58:18🔗 Caller What was that?

58:18🔗 David Alan Grier She's gonna be an attorney. She's gonna represent herself.

58:21🔗 Drew Michael?

58:21🔗 Caller Yes.

58:22🔗 Drew Get a lawyer, an attorney.

58:24🔗 David Alan Grier And the Kanye West CD, Gold Digger.

58:26🔗 Caller What about the lawyers?

58:28🔗 Drew Just get one to maybe help. Maybe that's where you get sort of a professional opinion about what's going on here and how to protect yourself.

58:33🔗 David Alan Grier Go over your rights and her rights as husband and wife. You can ask them, how will it change for you financially in the event that she left you, you left her. Just go through all that stuff.

58:45🔗 Drew Alicia, 19.

58:46🔗 David Alan Grier Alicia.

58:48🔗 Caller Hello.

58:50🔗 David Alan Grier What's going on? Hi.

58:54🔗 Drew Here you go. I'm really tired of this.

58:58🔗 David Alan Grier What's up?

58:59🔗 David Alan Grier Is there an eight second delay? Hi.

59:01🔗 Drew Joe 24. Please tell screeners, people must have their radios off. Joe.

59:05🔗 Hey, what's up guys? How you guys doing?

59:07🔗 Drew Good.

59:07🔗 David Alan Grier Finally. What's up, man?

59:08🔗 Hey, check this out. About like two months ago, I was making love to my girl and I was hitting it from the back, right?

59:14🔗 David Alan Grier And I was so angry.

59:17🔗 Caller Yeah.

59:20🔗 I was going too rough and I'm not circumcised. So at the bottom of my my penis where the foreskin meets my penis.

59:27🔗 Drew Yes.

59:27🔗 I got kind of cut, right?

59:28🔗 Drew There's a Starbucks there.

59:29🔗 So I started bleeding and I panicked and I put neosporin and all that.

59:34🔗 Drew All good.

59:34🔗 Okay. So then about and I've been with her for about-

59:36🔗 Drew Are you circumcised, Dag?

59:38🔗 David Alan Grier I am.

59:39🔗 I've been with her for a lot of-

59:40🔗 Drew You were cringing like you weren't.

59:41🔗 David Alan Grier Well, this is not a pretty story. Keep going, brother. I'm with you.

59:43🔗 Yeah.

59:44🔗 I've been with her for about a year and a half. So everything's been cool. We've been doing everything kind of safe by the book, whatever. And what happened was I didn't even whack or nothing to the restroom for like a whole week so it could heal up. So then about a week, I started continuing whacking in the restroom to relieve my stress, right? I hear you, man. I ain't whacking, brother. So I use a napkin or whatever and occasionally, I'll get like a little bit of nap tissue in my foreskin inside. So this is what happened. After that incident, I got like a little pointy bump at the where the skin.

1:00:17🔗 Drew The frenulum.

1:00:18🔗 You know where I'm talking about, right?

1:00:19🔗 Drew Oh, the frenulum. Yeah.

1:00:20🔗 Yes. And so it was little, right? So I made no big deal about it. I figured it just like dry off and like, you know, because it never really bothered me. Right. About a couple of days ago, I was...

1:00:32🔗 David Alan Grier There's an eyeball down there?

1:00:33🔗 I was going to the restroom and I looked at it and it kind of got a little bit bigger and it doesn't hurt. It doesn't itch.

1:00:39🔗 Drew It's a scar.

1:00:41🔗 David Alan Grier It's like a keloid.

1:00:41🔗 Drew Keloid, yeah. He sounds like my little darker skinned guy and dark skinned people get more keloids.

1:00:46🔗 Caller What do you mean by that?

1:00:47🔗 Caller I mean...

1:00:49🔗 Drew Joe, what's your ethnicity?

1:00:50🔗 Caller Hold on. Let him finish.

1:00:51🔗 Drew Yeah. So he's darker skinned.

1:00:53🔗 David Alan Grier Listen. So you're building up to what?

1:00:55🔗 Caller So this is what it is. Is it something big? Because in the ghetto, in the hood, we put toothpaste on our pimples. So I started doing that.

1:01:02🔗 David Alan Grier Oh my God.

1:01:03🔗 David Alan Grier It doesn't hurt, but it is an antiseptic though.

1:01:07🔗 Drew It's a keloid basically, Joe. And listen, that's why circumcision gets performed sometimes. You get those tears and then it starts to cause scarring and then narrowing. And eventually the penis keeps as it tries to come out, it keeps tearing the forest again, it keeps narrowing and you can get a circumcision to correct it.

1:01:44🔗 Caller Thank you.

1:01:46🔗 David Alan Grier Thank you.

1:01:47🔗 Caller Thank you.

1:01:48🔗 Drew Karen 20.

1:01:49🔗 Caller Hi guys.

1:01:50🔗 David Alan Grier Hey, what's up?

1:01:51🔗 Caller How are you?

1:01:52🔗 Drew Good. Beautiful.

1:01:52🔗 Caller Okay, this is a lot more nerve wracking, so bear with me. I have a question, like, I don't understand why I can only orgasm with the bathtub faucet.

1:02:05🔗 Drew Spigot, this is the spigot again.

1:02:07🔗 Caller With the bathtub faucet, like the running water.

1:02:09🔗 Drew Yes, the water flushing out of the spigot, pouring out of the spigot, waterfall.

1:02:14🔗 Caller Well, like me and my boyfriend have amazing sex, and I can get to that point where I'm about to orgasm, but I can never really finish it off.

1:02:22🔗 Drew How about with oral sex?

1:02:25🔗 Caller Kind of, but then it gets kind of boring. But I mean, I can't go to that point many times, and I'd never get orgasm.

1:02:32🔗 Drew Well, you're probably only going to have it with oral sex. That's what I would predict.

1:02:35🔗 David Alan Grier But how about this? How about bringing a boyfriend in the bathroom, get him and that spigot involved?

1:02:39🔗 Caller See, I was thinking that, but I don't want to scare the boy.

1:02:42🔗 David Alan Grier No, you're not going to scare him, baby. You're not going to scare him. He's going to have you spread eagle on the porch with a hose and then another week, he's going to be going to Home Depot.

1:02:53🔗 David Alan Grier I need something more powerful.

1:02:54🔗 David Alan Grier I want 320 PSI. What did you say?

1:02:58🔗 Caller That's a good idea. Thanks. I'll keep that in mind.

1:03:01🔗 David Alan Grier Do it. Bring him in the bathroom, say, I got something to show you.

1:03:04🔗 Caller Blood out!

1:03:06🔗 Drew What is that? I'm reading some of these questions. This is Dylan 17. Dylan?

1:03:10🔗 David Alan Grier What's going on, Dr. Drew?

1:03:10🔗 Caller Hey.

1:03:11🔗 Drew What's up, Dylan?

1:03:12🔗 David Alan Grier What's up, man?

1:03:13🔗 Caller Hey.

1:03:14🔗 Caller I have a question about the after effects of bulimia.

1:03:17🔗 Drew Yeah. After effects?

1:03:19🔗 Caller Well, long-term effects, I guess.

1:03:21🔗 Drew But once you're in remission, long-term effects with active disease or once you've been in remission?

1:03:28🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:03:28🔗 Caller Like, once you've been in remission.

1:03:30🔗 David Alan Grier Are you talking about yourself?

1:03:31🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:03:33🔗 David Alan Grier Isn't that kind of rare for guys to have...

1:03:36🔗 Drew It's not rare, but it's uncommon.

1:03:38🔗 David Alan Grier I just feel... Excuse me. I just feel really...

1:03:40🔗 Drew But you're a rare person, Dan. You're a rare guy. All right.

1:03:42🔗 David Alan Grier What is your question?

1:03:44🔗 Drew Long-term effects. So, yes, there can be softening of the bones. There can be diminishing function of the sexual organs. There can be cardiovascular effects, valvular effects, softening of the gel problem, dental issues.

1:03:53🔗 David Alan Grier What's up with the dental issues?

1:03:54🔗 Drew You just erode away the dentin. Not bad. But these things can all be evaluated pretty easily with a basic physical exam. And be sure to tell the doctor you have this habit, this history. But it's when you're doing this that it's most dangerous. It's afterwards. Things tend to go back towards normal, provided the one thing that we see that stays with people, with women, they get ovarian failure and that's persistent. Then they get the bone, the osteoporosis.

1:04:20🔗 David Alan Grier Just after a few years?

1:04:22🔗 Drew Can be.

1:04:22🔗 David Alan Grier Really? How long were you involved in the bulimia?

1:04:25🔗 Caller Like about a year or so.

1:04:27🔗 David Alan Grier That's not that long, Dr. Drew.

1:04:29🔗 Drew No, I'm saying this is...

1:04:30🔗 David Alan Grier Okay, let me ask you something. Bulimia or a hundred tabs of...

1:04:33🔗 Drew Bulimia. Bulimia, 10 times.

1:04:35🔗 David Alan Grier Bulimia or a big huge keloid knob on your forehead?

1:04:39🔗 Drew Keloid knob. Britney, 26.

1:04:41🔗 David Alan Grier Keloid knob or a hundred tabs of ecstasy?

1:04:44🔗 Drew Keloid knob.

1:04:45🔗 David Alan Grier Keloid knob on your butt.

1:04:49🔗 Drew Or?

1:04:49🔗 David Alan Grier Opening.

1:04:50🔗 Drew Or sitting through David Underwood singing three songs?

1:04:51🔗 David Alan Grier Or a hundred tabs shoved up your butt?

1:04:55🔗 Drew The knob.

1:04:55🔗 David Alan Grier With a key keloid?

1:04:57🔗 Drew The knob.

1:04:57🔗 David Alan Grier A keloid scab with a head of ecstasy shoved inside there and sewn shut?

1:05:04🔗 Drew Huh?

1:05:04🔗 David Alan Grier Yeah. Next caller.

1:05:06🔗 Drew Brittany 26.

1:05:07🔗 Caller Hi.

1:05:07🔗 Drew What's up?

1:05:09🔗 David Alan Grier What's going on?

1:05:09🔗 Caller I'm calling because I'm, well I've been going out with my boyfriend for three years now and he's a huge exhibitionist. Much more than I feel comfortable with. Seems like he's always popping his penis out in public and Well give me an example.

1:05:25🔗 David Alan Grier Give me an example.

1:05:26🔗 Caller He wants me to give him a hand job. We'll be in a bar or something and he wants a hand job or he'll pull my shirt down and suckle my dick. And it feels.

1:05:35🔗 David Alan Grier But let me ask you this. What do you say?

1:05:37🔗 Drew At a bar?

1:05:38🔗 David Alan Grier Yeah. Do you let him do that?

1:05:40🔗 Caller Yes I do. And it feels good but at the same time I'm terrified that people are going to be seeing us and.

1:05:47🔗 Drew Not only seeing you, you're going to get arrested.

1:05:49🔗 David Alan Grier That adds to the excitement doesn't it?

1:05:50🔗 Drew You're going to get arrested.

1:05:51🔗 David Alan Grier Doesn't that add to the... Not for her. Listen Killjoy!

1:05:53🔗 David Alan Grier I'm trying to get some going here!

1:05:55🔗 Drew I'm just saying. Not for him. Are you involved with David Alan Grier, Brittany?

1:05:59🔗 David Alan Grier Dr. Drew, please! So do you like that, do you like that when he takes those boobies out and plays with them?

1:06:05🔗 Caller It's exciting but at the same time it's terrifying and I'd rather not.

1:06:09🔗 David Alan Grier Right, but let me ask you this. Are you able to achieve an orgasm in public?

1:06:13🔗 Caller Nope, absolutely not.

1:06:15🔗 David Alan Grier What's the craziest thing you guys have done?

1:06:18🔗 Caller Sex.

1:06:19🔗 Caller Tell me where.

1:06:21🔗 Caller On the dance floor or in a bar behind a wall maybe. Area where there's nobody in that particular area.

1:06:31🔗 David Alan Grier Does your boyfriend act out when you're not around though?

1:06:33🔗 Drew Oh yeah.

1:06:35🔗 Caller One time he did, years ago, he got, well the story I got was he was changing his clothes but he was at a high school and some girls saw him and they called the cops on him and he.

1:06:51🔗 Drew And you believe that crap?

1:06:53🔗 Caller I have no I don't know exactly what happened.

1:06:57🔗 Drew Well get involved now Dr. Drew please. Go ahead and fill in the story. Just imagine what would require police to show up and arrest somebody. Not changing clothes. I changed clothes tonight. Oh of course. I changed clothes tonight here in front of Dag. Did you call the police?

1:07:14🔗 David Alan Grier I should have.

1:07:15🔗 Drew Well that's because of what you saw and what I was doing.

1:07:17🔗 David Alan Grier Your junk is an embarrassment really. Tell her what the deal is man.

1:07:22🔗 Caller It is grand.

1:07:26🔗 Drew How long have you been with this guy?

1:07:27🔗 Caller Three years.

1:07:28🔗 Drew And you don't like these exhibitionistic behaviors that are actually dangerous and potentially illegal. I suggest, what does this guy do for a living?

1:07:38🔗 Caller I don't want to say. He's a professional.

1:07:40🔗 David Alan Grier Let me ask you this. Let me ask one more question real quick Dr. Drew. Has his behavior been escalating? Like since when you first saw him, you first guys first started getting together, does he keep upping the ante as longer and longer as you guys stay together?

1:07:56🔗 Caller It kind of feels that way that it's like he thinks, okay I pushed her that far now let's see how much farther.

1:08:03🔗 Drew Is he drinking or doing drugs when he gets into this stuff?

1:08:05🔗 Caller No.

1:08:06🔗 Drew Does he have a problem that way?

1:08:08🔗 Caller No, he doesn't have a problem with that at all. Sometimes we're drinking at the bar but it's not, I don't think it's because of that.

1:08:15🔗 David Alan Grier Does he ever like pull your exposure breasts and just take a little beer bottle and sit it right in between those boobies? Because that's not good.

1:08:22🔗 Drew I'm confused why you would tolerate this, why you'd allow this. You don't want to do it, you don't like it, it puts you in harm's way. What are you doing?

1:08:35🔗 Caller Like I said, it's exciting, however, it's also terrifying.

1:08:41🔗 David Alan Grier Have you sought treatment? I mean, have you gone into therapy and said, you know, my boyfriend's a perv, what do I do? I mean, what do you want to do?

1:08:47🔗 Caller Well, that's what I'm wondering is, do I need therapy? Does he need therapy?

1:08:53🔗 Drew You do, yes, go ahead. He may need more than that.

1:08:57🔗 David Alan Grier But what is the...

1:08:59🔗 Caller What is it that causes a person to be that way?

1:09:02🔗 Drew A lot of different things.

1:09:03🔗 David Alan Grier You know what I mean? But for a guy to expose himself and be, you know, jerking off in public like that...

1:09:09🔗 Drew Well, that's aggression, that's a disorder, that's a sort of a sexual compulsion, sexual addiction.

1:09:14🔗 David Alan Grier But does it stay there? I mean, doesn't it morph into...

1:09:17🔗 Drew Oh, yes. There's other things going on, Brittany, that you're not even aware of, I'm sure.

1:09:21🔗 David Alan Grier Did you ever ask him, was he abused or any... Do you know anything about his family history?

1:09:26🔗 Caller Only that his parents divorced when he was...

1:09:30🔗 Drew Ask if they hit him with objects and if anybody ever sort of fondled him or had bad, you know, exploited him in some way growing up.

1:09:37🔗 Caller Yeah, I've never asked him directly those questions. I've asked him...

1:09:40🔗 Drew Well, you'll find something there.

1:09:42🔗 David Alan Grier Do you think you're going to marry this guy? Because I want to come to that reception. And be one party.

1:09:48🔗 Drew And it's kind of a narcissism, right? That kind of exhibitionism. And again, it borders on sociopathy when it really gets going.

1:09:56🔗 Caller Sociopathy.

1:09:58🔗 Drew What?

1:09:59🔗 David Alan Grier Let her talk, man. She's into it, though. Come on. Come on. She liked it a little bit there. That's what I was getting.

1:10:05🔗 Caller I'm sorry. Hello?

1:10:06🔗 David Alan Grier You like it, though.

1:10:07🔗 Caller I don't know all of the things that you said that they borders on narcissism. I don't know what any of that means as far as him being able to get help or our relationship. What does all that mean?

1:10:17🔗 Drew It means you should see a therapist. That's all.

1:10:19🔗 David Alan Grier Yeah, but first of all, has he ever told you, expressed any of these concerns that you're expressing to us? Because if he hasn't, then you should think about finding some other dude.

1:10:29🔗 Drew If they're with you until the year, she's not going to do that.

1:10:32🔗 Caller What do you mean, has he ever?

1:10:34🔗 David Alan Grier No, has your boyfriend ever come to you and said, look, I think I went too far. I think I have a problem.

1:10:40🔗 Caller No, never.

1:10:42🔗 Drew You have to get a little over a hint what he does for a living. What kind of work? Is he a doctor, a lawyer, an in-chief?

1:10:49🔗 David Alan Grier Does he fly a plane?

1:10:51🔗 Drew Medical.

1:10:53🔗 David Alan Grier Surgeon, surgeon.

1:10:56🔗 Drew Yeah, if he's a physician, his license is in danger.

1:11:00🔗 David Alan Grier Well, thanks for telling me, honey, because now I'm going to wake up next to a appendicitis and looking at this guy's junk and her boobies hanging out.

1:11:08🔗 Drew That is stuff that the medical board kind of frowns on, you might say, and is diversion material when guys do this kind of thing.

1:11:15🔗 David Alan Grier I don't know, but to me, that is really kind of scary. I remember I had a girlfriend one time, she called me, and she said there was some guy who was naked, I mean, just standing at the corner, and she lived in this really nice little residential area.

1:11:32🔗 Drew Sometimes they're bipolar, a lot of people do that.

1:11:34🔗 David Alan Grier I know, but that freaks me out, like, a dude just pulling his junk out.

1:11:42🔗 Drew It's not a good thing.

1:11:43🔗 David Alan Grier Dude, get up out of here, man.

1:11:45🔗 Drew And with all sexual addiction, sexual compulsions, you want to get help with that before you hurt yourself, shame yourself, get in legal trouble, or hurt somebody else more.

1:11:54🔗 David Alan Grier Yeah, I feel like that guy's gonna wind up killing cats and then eating, like, black homeless guys' heads.

1:11:58🔗 Drew It does evoke these sort of violent fantasies and stuff, but the reality is, there's something going on with him, and usually a licensed personnel shouldn't be behaving like that.

1:12:07🔗 Caller It's something going on with him, pulling the junk out in the parking lot.

1:12:35🔗 Drew Back after this?

1:12:36🔗 David Alan Grier Beautiful.

1:12:37🔗 Drew Beautiful.

1:12:37🔗 Caller Yep, Loveline will be back.

1:12:39🔗 David Alan Grier Glad to hear it.

1:12:43🔗 Caller Loveline will be right back.

1:13:25🔗 David Alan Grier All right, then.

1:13:26🔗 Caller What I say? What I say?

1:13:28🔗 David Alan Grier What I say?

1:13:28🔗 Caller I got feelings for you.

1:13:29🔗 David Alan Grier Can I prolapse your anus?

1:13:33🔗 David Alan Grier Dude, can you do me a favor? I want you to send me, email me a picture of a prolapsed anus.

1:13:37🔗 Drew Oh, that is not nice.

1:13:39🔗 David Alan Grier I want to make a Christmas card out of that.

1:13:40🔗 Drew I want you to imagine, imagine an elderly person rolled over on the side, and like something, oh, what this look like? Like, like imagine a...

1:13:51🔗 David Alan Grier Somebody turned their butt inside out?

1:13:53🔗 Drew Yeah, but, but it's, it's, it's red and raw and sort of...

1:13:57🔗 David Alan Grier But it just comes out by itself?

1:13:59🔗 Drew Yeah, but it turns out, it falls out. But, but because the blood supply isn't so good, it gets necrotic and it's a mess.

1:14:06🔗 David Alan Grier What do you have to do? Can you, can you...

1:14:07🔗 Drew Do surgery, big surgery.

1:14:08🔗 David Alan Grier But is it, is it, is it fixable?

1:14:11🔗 Drew Yeah, it's a surgery. Sometimes, sometimes I had a lady, we let it go for a while and a while and a while. Finally got so painful and miserable, we had to just cut, cut. It's a big operation.

1:14:19🔗 David Alan Grier Really?

1:14:19🔗 Drew At least often times.

1:14:20🔗 David Alan Grier Wait, can I ask you something? Why would somebody be a proctologist? I knew a costumer whose husband was a proctologist. Again, I'm putting him in the same category as a dude who's pulling his junk out.

1:14:32🔗 Caller All in the whole wide world.

1:14:35🔗 Drew That, that chick's husband or boyfriend there might have been.

1:14:38🔗 David Alan Grier Right, I want to study booty.

1:14:39🔗 Drew But it's, it's not booty, it's colorectal surgery.

1:14:42🔗 David Alan Grier Yeah, but how do you get there?

1:14:43🔗 Drew You do general surgery, which is a whole other thing.

1:14:45🔗 David Alan Grier But how do you get there?

1:14:47🔗 Drew Why would you get there?

1:14:47🔗 David Alan Grier Colorectal, colorectal. How do you get there? You gotta go through the booty.

1:14:51🔗 Drew No, no, they go through, they do.

1:14:52🔗 David Alan Grier Okay, so you don't even go, you don't even go through the body.

1:14:54🔗 Drew They have the, they do some of that.

1:14:56🔗 David Alan Grier But on an everyday basis.

1:14:57🔗 Drew They'll see somebody.

1:14:58🔗 David Alan Grier If I come in your office, you know what's gonna happen.

1:15:01🔗 Drew No, it makes sense.

1:15:02🔗 Caller Let me tell you, look, doc, let me just show you. Is it, look like an eyeball.

1:15:06🔗 David Alan Grier No, man, I couldn't ever, I could never. Eight years you study in booties? No, man.

1:15:12🔗 Drew It's the colon. It's the colon.

1:15:14🔗 David Alan Grier All right, okay. So you're going into colon?

1:15:16🔗 Drew No, it doesn't do that much.

1:15:17🔗 David Alan Grier Speaking of colons, let's save some babies.

1:15:18🔗 Drew Let's do it. This is now, Caitlin is 19.

1:15:21🔗 David Alan Grier Caitlin.

1:15:22🔗 Caller Hello. Hello.

1:15:23🔗 Drew Caitlin, what's happening?

1:15:25🔗 Caller Okay.

1:15:26🔗 Caller Well, here's the thing. I think I'm attracted to girls because I have gotten with guys and it's fun and I can be often, but I also really, really like girls because they're just beautiful and I have gotten with girls before. But the thing is like I do want to get married to a guy and have children and live the whole, you know, American thing in society. And like, because I just don't know if I were to get married to a girl, would I like, would that relationship last?

1:15:56🔗 Caller You know what I mean?

1:15:57🔗 David Alan Grier What's your question?

1:15:59🔗 Caller My question is, I mean, what do you think I should do? I don't know if I'm bisexual or if I should just date girls. Like, I don't know about.

1:16:08🔗 Drew Why is everything in the world sort of a relative for you? Everything's sort of like, well, what, she's 19? Maybe it's about the man, the man wants me to do this, and maybe I'll do that, and whatever. I don't know who I am. I don't know where I am. I have no boundaries. I have no direction. I don't even know whether I'm a man or a woman or a guy. Well, here's what I would say.

1:16:29🔗 David Alan Grier You said you've gotten with girls, you've gotten with guys. Why not just whoever it is? What?

1:16:35🔗 Drew Who are you?

1:16:37🔗 David Alan Grier My name is James Brown.

1:16:38🔗 Drew Caitlin, what was your upbringing like?

1:16:42🔗 David Alan Grier Well, hold on. Let me tell you. Get in a relationship, whoever it is, a man or woman, get in a loving relationship.

1:16:50🔗 Caller Because I don't want to tell it. I just don't want to live. I don't know how my parents would take it.

1:16:55🔗 Caller But this is not a life.

1:16:56🔗 David Alan Grier This is not a life decision.

1:16:58🔗 Drew Here's what I get from Caitlin.

1:16:59🔗 Caller My dad doesn't talk to her.

1:17:00🔗 David Alan Grier I'll tell you what you're going to have to do first is shut up because I can't talk.

1:17:04🔗 Drew I think Caitlin, compared to Caitlin, the kids on Laguna Beach are poor.

1:17:08🔗 David Alan Grier Right, wow. You think so?

1:17:10🔗 Drew That's what I'm thinking.

1:17:10🔗 Caller No, no.

1:17:11🔗 David Alan Grier Caitlin, are you banked up?

1:17:12🔗 Caller No, I...

1:17:13🔗 David Alan Grier Shut up!

1:17:15🔗 David Alan Grier Thank you. Thank you so much.

1:17:16🔗 Drew What's Caitlin?

1:17:17🔗 Caller Why are you telling me to shut up when I'm answering your question?

1:17:20🔗 David Alan Grier That wasn't me. That's the...

1:17:22🔗 Drew Anderson.

1:17:23🔗 Caller Go ahead. Okay.

1:17:25🔗 Caller Anyways, did you have a question?

1:17:28🔗 Drew I'm just wondering where you got all the self-importance and the grandiosity and the lack of boundaries. Where did that come from? Where did you learn that that's 19? That's okay. Were you super spoiled?

1:17:38🔗 Caller No, actually.

1:17:39🔗 Drew Or were you super abused?

1:17:41🔗 Caller That's the thing. I had a job...

1:17:42🔗 David Alan Grier Shut up! That's not me. It's just that I'm not...

1:17:47🔗 Drew Which was it growing up? Super spoiled or super abused?

1:17:49🔗 Caller No, I'm not super spoiled. I mean, I got hit a little bit as a child.

1:17:53🔗 Drew All right, so you're good to go.

1:17:54🔗 David Alan Grier Well, I got hit as a child too, Dr. Drew, because in my day you got a spanking.

1:17:57🔗 Drew Yeah, spanking is different than probably what Caitlin got.

1:17:59🔗 David Alan Grier In public. Until I was 22 years old. No, I'm just kidding.

1:18:03🔗 Drew Yeah. And Caitlin probably got pushed around pretty good.

1:18:05🔗 David Alan Grier Did you? Did you get pushed around pretty good, Caitlin?

1:18:08🔗 Caller From what I can remember...

1:18:09🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:18:10🔗 David Alan Grier Well, how old were you?

1:18:10🔗 Caller I think I was just being really scary. I don't remember.

1:18:12🔗 Drew Yeah. And what happens is they get these sort of freeze responses. They get their...

1:18:17🔗 Caller It's like I slinch when someone like, you know, when someone like moves towards me or moves, I slinch really bad.

1:18:22🔗 Drew And what happens when you've been abused like that, you start feeling grandiose and responsible for everything. I'm the person that bad ass happens to all the time because I have to be in control of my universe because it's too scary not to be in control of it all the time because any minute some person I rely upon may suddenly start to try to kill me. It's literally the kind of thinking they get into. And now I'm bigger than life all the time. Yes, it's a neurobiological thing. It's how your brain responds to these things. It's not good, Caitlin. It's not a great way to go through life.

1:18:51🔗 Caller One other question real quick. My dad, maybe this has to do with my relationships, my dad doesn't really say I love you a lot or gives me hugs. I have to be the one to do that to him. My mom is kind of like that, but I think I conditioned her or something.

1:19:06🔗 Caller I just started to do it over and over again and she finally came back to me and was like, right, you're the person who controls what adults do.

1:19:11🔗 Drew So go ahead. But go ahead. So what about that?

1:19:14🔗 Caller I mean, with my dad, do you think that's the reason? With guys, like I just get really scared. Like when guys give me affection, it's like, ugh. And then when girls give me affection, I'm okay with it.

1:19:22🔗 Drew Was dad the one that physically pushed you around?

1:19:26🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:19:26🔗 Drew All right. Well, he's the abuser.

1:19:27🔗 David Alan Grier But how old were you when you were, quote unquote, pushed around? How old were you?

1:19:32🔗 Drew From when to when?

1:19:33🔗 Caller Early. My mom said I got hit when I was like one.

1:19:36🔗 Drew Yeah, that's bad.

1:19:37🔗 David Alan Grier I mean, you're saying that children who get any kind of corporal punishment.

1:19:42🔗 Drew No, I didn't say that. I didn't say any kind. Kids who are hit with an object that feel that the probability of going on being is being threatened.

1:19:52🔗 David Alan Grier Your parents never gave you a spanking?

1:19:53🔗 Drew No. Ever? But no. Never. I got a spanking when I was a little kid. But I'm not going to spanking.

1:20:00🔗 David Alan Grier My mother made me go and get a switch and she spanked me with the switch when I was a little kid. Am I screwed up? Look at. Oh my God.

1:20:08🔗 Drew Okay. Just think about who Caitlin is interested in. Now think about who you're interested in.

1:20:12🔗 David Alan Grier Boy, it's free fall time.

1:20:14🔗 David Alan Grier Dr. Drew, sometimes you get those moments of clarity.

1:20:18🔗 Drew But here's the deal. Here's the deal. It's a feeling of powerlessness is the key thing. Powerlessness at the hands of important relationships. If you want some articles, I got a bunch of them. Let's talk too quickly. Jason, who's 26.

1:20:32🔗 Caller Dr. Drew, Dag, how you guys doing?

1:20:34🔗 Drew We're good. Dag's having a rough night tonight, but we're good.

1:20:36🔗 David Alan Grier Well, just something hit me and I, oh boy.

1:20:40🔗 Drew What's up?

1:20:40🔗 Caller Yeah, I got a bit of an ongoing debate with my baby's mom regarding birth control.

1:20:45🔗 Drew Baby's mom. Love that. Love that term.

1:20:48🔗 Caller All right. Yeah, that's a fun term, isn't it?

1:20:51🔗 David Alan Grier What about, what do you got up for?

1:20:54🔗 Caller All right, now she's a bit of a right to lifer and believes pretty much everything she reads off the Internet. And she thinks that I'm using like birth control patch or the pill or anything.

1:21:04🔗 David Alan Grier Right.

1:21:05🔗 Caller Basically, it still allows conception. And then the fetus is then aborted.

1:21:10🔗 Drew Well, you know what? God bless her. There is actually a possibility of that with birth control pills.

1:21:17🔗 David Alan Grier You're saying the pa- Did you say the pills or the pills?

1:21:20🔗 Drew Any of the hormonal contraceptives. This has always been my issue. Is that emergency contraceptive or morning after pill? It doesn't do that.

1:21:28🔗 David Alan Grier It's not an abortion pill.

1:21:30🔗 Drew It's something you can take within three days of a sexual encounter. It works the same way all the hormonal contraceptives work, that is the pill you take every day. It works almost exclusively by preventing an egg from being released from your ovary so there's nothing there to meet the sperm. There is a theoretical possibility for all hormonal contraceptives. And by the way, Jason, many anti-inflammatories and a few other medicines too should have a look into that it could interfere with implantation. That's a theoretical possibility.

1:21:59🔗 David Alan Grier So, she's actually taking... They're construing that, say that technically is an abortion.

1:22:03🔗 Drew That's a life that's being interfered with. And so, I've always said that if a woman is, if a person is going to say the morning after pill is an abortion, then all pills are abortion and she's right. If she's going to take that position, I don't think it's a very prudent position.

1:22:18🔗 David Alan Grier You know who's life is being interfered with?

1:22:19🔗 Drew His life.

1:22:21🔗 David Alan Grier Are you still with this woman?

1:22:22🔗 Caller Take my side and give me a website that I could take her to to prove her wrong.

1:22:26🔗 Drew No, because it's not true. She is right, but I think she's being ridiculous.

1:22:33🔗 Caller Do you lie to me or something for a minute?

1:22:35🔗 David Alan Grier Dude, are you still together with this girl?

1:22:39🔗 Caller No, not exactly.

1:22:40🔗 David Alan Grier Well, if I were you, I wouldn't pop a willy in there. Not unless you had a boot on it, bro.

1:22:45🔗 Drew In the interest of prudence, I think that theoretical risk is worth taking. Do you understand what I'm saying by that?

1:22:51🔗 Caller It was more just a bait out, trying to get an answer to be. I get what you're saying. One other thing, though, is she's a big advocate of the rhythm method.

1:23:00🔗 Drew Rhythm method? Oh my God, it doesn't work. It doesn't work.

1:23:04🔗 Caller Someone lived inside there for three days, and she says she's got like a six-hour window. It's like, if it's in there, it's gonna be in there for three days.

1:23:11🔗 Drew Yes.

1:23:12🔗 David Alan Grier Dude, please don't listen to her.

1:23:13🔗 Drew That is correct. Rhythm, rhythm at the... Yeah, your girlfriend, the rhythm is better than nothing, but it's not a effective contraceptive, okay?

1:23:23🔗 Caller Really? Hey, I got one other question for Dag.

1:23:26🔗 David Alan Grier Yes, sir.

1:23:27🔗 Caller Hey, what type of speed are you into, man? Well, what is it that you do?

1:23:33🔗 Drew Skull.

1:23:34🔗 David Alan Grier I'm gonna tell you what. I can't tell you on the air, man. I can't tell you on the air. I'm a natural guy, though.

1:23:39🔗 Drew It's a special mix, though, huh?

1:23:40🔗 David Alan Grier I'm a natural guy.

1:23:41🔗 Drew You chew on the coca leaf and jam.

1:23:43🔗 David Alan Grier I like my binnies. I like my dolls, my diet pills.

1:23:46🔗 Drew Robo-tripping is something you're into, too.

1:23:47🔗 David Alan Grier Robo-tripping? No way. No way. Oh, the Robotuss? I did hang out with some friends in Flint, Michigan, years ago, and we had a big, huge bottle of that stuff, but it was with the codeine in it.

1:23:58🔗 Drew Oh, boy.

1:23:58🔗 David Alan Grier We used to drive over to Canada and get the Robotuss and with the codeine. That's nice.

1:24:03🔗 Drew That's a good time.

1:24:04🔗 David Alan Grier There's some music based on that. This kid was making it, like, in the South, and it was all, like, slow motion, like, they were doing cough syrup and stuff. It was bizarre, but the dude, Odeed, imagine that. Kid Odeed, the whole movement died with him.

1:24:18🔗 Drew Damn. Damn.

1:24:20🔗 David Alan Grier Yeah, man. A lot of geniuses killed. So look here, brother.

1:24:23🔗 Caller I wouldn't poke that no more because you're about to get caught one more again.

1:24:27🔗 Drew All right. Here we go. It's 1-800-LOVE-191. He's Dag. I'm Dr. Drew. We'll be right back. Boom shaka.

1:24:43🔗 Caller This is Loveline.

1:24:48🔗 Drew That's right. It's Loveline here. 1-800-LOVE-191. Daggeroni.

1:24:52🔗 Caller Shaka-lake-booo.

1:24:54🔗 Drew What are your other email monikers? Daggeronski, Daggeroni, Daggero-

1:24:57🔗 David Alan Grier I keep having to change them, man. Because, let me just put it like this, brother. My account gets compromised.

1:25:04🔗 Drew How is that?

1:25:05🔗 David Alan Grier I have no idea. I think, what do I really think?

1:25:08🔗 Drew Could it be that I send it out in mass mailing?

1:25:10🔗 David Alan Grier No, I'm on a busted server, which I've just changed. I finally got high-speed internet with a specific server because it's kept happening. I'm lazy. I mean, it's like this. Usually, it will happen in the middle of the day. I'm out of town. I'm on the road or something. I'm trying to communicate with my agent, my lawyer. I don't have time to go and get a whole new thing. I call the people, they say, change your screen name. I change it and keep going. Finally, I've had to get other accounts and it's done, but that's usually what it is. They tell you to do that anyway. Every now and then change your screen name.

1:25:45🔗 Caller Big chocolate, chocolate stick.

1:25:47🔗 Drew That's what it is now, chocolate stick.

1:25:48🔗 David Alan Grier Chocolate stick, baby. Bam. Let's save some more babies. What a glorious, wonderful evening. Can we ask some people in the BDSM community?

1:25:57🔗 Drew Sherry, 27. Maybe she is.

1:25:59🔗 David Alan Grier Sherry, what's cracking?

1:26:00🔗 Caller Hey, how are you guys doing? Hey, here's the thing. I'm 27 years old and met this guy. It's totally awesome. Everything is perfect in line, but I feel the need to defend myself all the time because he's only 18.

1:26:13🔗 Caller What do you think about that?

1:26:15🔗 Drew What do you mean defend yourself? What does that mean?

1:26:16🔗 David Alan Grier To whom?

1:26:18🔗 Drew What do you mean defend yourself?

1:26:20🔗 Caller I mean, like, I feel like I need to defend it.

1:26:21🔗 Caller Like, oh, well, when I met him, I didn't know how old he was before. I don't know. I feel like it's almost wrong.

1:26:26🔗 Drew But you mean justify yourself, right? Because you feel guilty.

1:26:29🔗 David Alan Grier Are people coming at you like that? Hold on, honey. You're sputtering. You're sputtering. Hold on. Hold on. Is it because people are coming at you like that or that you feel like you're going to cut them off before they even get a chance to ask? I know what you're thinking.

1:26:43🔗 Caller Yeah, that's sort of it. Yeah.

1:26:45🔗 Caller Like, OK, well, you know, he's this old. But when I met him, I didn't know.

1:26:48🔗 Caller And I don't know.

1:26:49🔗 Caller He's really mature and he doesn't look that young.

1:26:52🔗 Caller But like, well, you hear me talking like, like, I'm defending it and I don't want to feel like that.

1:26:56🔗 David Alan Grier You know, you're going to have to dump him.

1:26:58🔗 Caller You're going to have to dump him.

1:27:00🔗 David Alan Grier OK, well, then shut up about it already. Nobody cares.

1:27:04🔗 Caller Nobody cares.

1:27:06🔗 Caller OK, good.

1:27:07🔗 David Alan Grier I know. But nobody cares. You have to just cool out.

1:27:10🔗 Caller However, it's not wrong.

1:27:11🔗 Caller There's nothing wrong with it.

1:27:12🔗 Caller Like, well, you know, why do you think there's something wrong with it?

1:27:16🔗 Caller Because he's 18 and like, I'm 27 and I already have a little girl and he's, you know, like, he's not at that point.

1:27:22🔗 Caller And I am.

1:27:23🔗 Caller I don't know.

1:27:24🔗 David Alan Grier I mean, I mean, I know, but this sounds like, okay, calm down, calm down, please. This sounds like you have a problem with it. Is he all these questions you keep going over. These are questions that you're generating. Okay. So you need to address that with you because clearly here's the, here's the, last week on My Name is Earl.

1:27:47🔗 Drew Listen to this.

1:27:48🔗 David Alan Grier Do you tell this to your patients?

1:27:49🔗 Drew Yes, I do.

1:27:50🔗 David Alan Grier Before I take your prolapsed anus out, last week on My Name is Earl, his anus was prolapsed too.

1:27:58🔗 Drew What's the actual name you used to grace under fire?

1:28:02🔗 David Alan Grier Oh, I know who you're talking about.

1:28:03🔗 Drew Yeah, Brett, Brett, Brett Butler. She was on and playing like mother-in-law and she had a gambling addiction and alcohol and stuff. And she would go out and she would spend all the stuff and he'd go, what? And she'd go, don't judge me. Because she felt bad about what she'd done. This is the same thing. She'd go, nobody judge me, don't judge me, don't judge me because I feel so bad about what I'm doing. I'm taking this 18 year old who doesn't really understand what he's getting into. He's got an older woman who's going to be in her 30s shortly, who already has a child, who is in a completely different stage of his life, but he's so hot and I like him and I want to use him.

1:28:34🔗 Caller And by the way, Am I using him?

1:28:37🔗 Drew Yes, you're using him. Yes, you're using him. Yes, using him. Now, because he's a hot young guy.

1:28:42🔗 David Alan Grier You just said, you said he's really hot. You're going to stay with him anyway.

1:28:45🔗 Drew And one of the things that women do sometimes is when they've been brutalized by an older guy, get a young play toy because that's not quite as meaningful. I can control that a little bit, right?

1:28:56🔗 David Alan Grier But I'll give you some advice.

1:28:58🔗 Drew Sherry, is that true or not? Is that first? Is that true?

1:29:01🔗 Caller I don't like the term using him because I really like him a lot.

1:29:04🔗 Drew No, I'm not saying you're dishonest, but it just is a quality to this where it's had it been an a 30 year old man, then I'm vulnerable because I'm with a peer. But with a guy, it's a kid, I can manage him. I can manage him.

1:29:17🔗 David Alan Grier And doesn't this also, doesn't this represent more that this 18 year old represents where she's at emotionally?

1:29:24🔗 Drew Oh, that's true too.

1:29:25🔗 David Alan Grier It's not like he's come up to your level, it's that you never progressed past his.

1:29:32🔗 Drew Yeah, I agree with all that. And it's all stuff that you're kind of ashamed of and embarrassed about. And there's a lot of stuff going on that's yours. You need to own it and decide what you're going to do with it. And don't go around telling people not to judge you. Because a lot of people will tell you not to judge. People don't care. People don't care. And when you worry about people judging you, it's because you've got the judgment going and you feel bad.

1:29:51🔗 Caller Good, because that's what I wanted to know. Like I just wanted to, you know, because I mean, I want to make it work. And I just wanted to see like from a professional's opinion. If you know, like, is it...

1:29:58🔗 Drew It's possible, it's possible it could work, but I have a suspicion that it's an acting out. It's a reaction to having been victimized or rejected or somehow brutalized by one of your peers. And so now you're going to step down to a kid that you can manage. And by the way, you kind of feel like a kid yourself anyway, but that is what we call dystonic. It's not real. It's not real. You have to really look at these things carefully.

1:30:25🔗 David Alan Grier I don't think it's going to work out. He can't get a word in edgewise.

1:30:27🔗 Drew I know because we got to go to break. It's crazy. This is when we have to get on time too.

1:30:32🔗 David Alan Grier It's crazy.

1:30:33🔗 Drew Daguronski, Daguroni, David Alan Grier.

1:30:35🔗 David Alan Grier Daguroni baby, healing babies all up in it.

1:30:38🔗 David Alan Grier This healing is taking place, Dr. Drew.

1:30:40🔗 Drew And we'll be right back. Loveline, here we are. David Alan Grier.

1:30:55🔗 Caller Let the healing begin.

1:30:56🔗 Drew Week O Dag.

1:30:57🔗 David Alan Grier It is. Tomorrow night is going to be crazy.

1:30:59🔗 Drew I want you to compose some songs by tomorrow night.

1:31:01🔗 David Alan Grier Compose some songs?

1:31:02🔗 Caller I got to do homework now?

1:31:04🔗 Drew No, no. It takes you three seconds.

1:31:05🔗 David Alan Grier Dude, I got to do Christmas shopping, man.

1:31:08🔗 Drew Oh, yeah.

1:31:08🔗 David Alan Grier Christmas shopping.

1:31:09🔗 Drew Are you going back to see your family?

1:31:10🔗 David Alan Grier I am.

1:31:12🔗 Drew You going to Detroit?

1:31:12🔗 David Alan Grier Let's not talk about it, man. Please.

1:31:15🔗 Caller Is anybody in Detroit?

1:31:16🔗 David Alan Grier Can we, please? I'm going to need some healing. I'm going to go out of the room and call you. That's what's going to happen. Yes, I'm going back to Detroit. I'm going back to my mom's still there, my sister, my cousins. Everybody's there. My brother's not going to make this trip. He's with his family here. My dad's here, so you can't see everybody. That's what I'm going to do.

1:31:35🔗 Caller Cold.

1:31:36🔗 Drew Yeah, it's going to be cold.

1:31:37🔗 David Alan Grier The tires froze in the asphalt, but you know what? We have a...

1:31:42🔗 Drew We're done.

1:31:43🔗 David Alan Grier That's messed up.

1:31:44🔗 Drew It is messed up, man.

1:31:45🔗 David Alan Grier Tomorrow, right?

1:31:46🔗 Drew We'll see you tomorrow, yeah. I want to say goodbye. Oh, it's Michelle. Engineer's Michelle's last night.

1:31:50🔗 David Alan Grier She's not an engineer, she's a genius.

1:31:52🔗 Drew Genius engineer.

1:31:54🔗 David Alan Grier Genius engineer. Thank you. But you're not, you're going on to bigger, bigger, wonderful things, right? Yes. She's going to go do an whole new show and be fabulous and wonderful, and I will see you soon.

1:32:05🔗 Drew Until next time, it will be Dag and Drew saying good night and stay well.

1:32:10🔗 Caller Love you tonight.

1:32:27🔗 Caller This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or this station. The producer for Loveline is Annie Gold. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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