0:16🔗
1-9-1.
0:21🔗
Voiceover
Hey everybody, it's Loveline, the phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Coming in here anytime now is Rob Schneider. I'm actually giving in his phone number right now. We're trying to track him down. Here's some numbers for you. All right, I had a great time this weekend. I went to an amusement park with my kid, went to Knott's Berry Farm and got broken into some of those thrill rides. I mean, I, you know, as I've aged, I'm not quite one for those rides. But now they they haul your ass up like 400 feet in the air and just drop you. And your body thinks that's what's happening. You know, you know, you're locked into a seat. Your body thinks you're falling off a building. I think people with tendencies to have blood pressure, strokes, cardiac condition, I worried I was going to have a coronary up there. And now they've invented a thing. They have a huge swing. They have a giant swing they sit you in. Cause about 85 miles an hour, about six stories in here. You pansy! Yeah, I know, but still, but still. Listen, if I, what I don't like is the corkscrew stuff and the loop to loop things. I still, I can't tolerate that stuff. You like that? Yeah, okay. Well, we're quite excited. Andrew, do you like that?
1:24🔗
Caller
I know I hate all that stuff, but how long do you think it'll be before they're all outlawed by the lawyers?
1:29🔗
Adam
You know, it's sort of surprising that it hasn't been. You know what I mean? There's some stuff I wouldn't even go on. My kids just love these rides, and Nott's just looted with this stuff now. I figure if they get away with it this far, they're probably going to keep getting away with it. You know what I mean? Because people kind of look around and go, well, so far no one's died at this park. So whatever park, they're filling the blank. And it's, I guess, a mark of distinction if no one has actually died at your theme park. It actually shows how safe things are, given that people are falling off buildings and going 85 miles an hour.
2:00🔗
Caller
You know what I mean? How many people have died at Mickey's house? Who's Mickey's house? Disneyland.
2:10🔗
Adam
Right, and so, and it's, given that, listen, given just the number of people that move through these parks, it's amazing that more stuff doesn't happen. I mean, just forget the fact that they're all going to eat five miles an hour and up 12 stories in the air, just moving people through, choking on hot dogs and, you know, you know what I mean? Anything with this huge, huge numbers of people going through, I gotta think something's likely to happen. So it's a testament to how much good, you know, how much care they take in these parks that people don't get hurt more often. And now it's, now it's a, you know, there's shows on various cable channels now, but the most crazy roller coaster, the fastest, the biggest, it's all, so it's game on. It's like a competition to see who can, what's gonna happen is somebody's eventually is gonna kind of split open on one of these rides, and that's gonna be it. That's gonna be the fastest ride, and that's where they'll stop. So anyway, Rob is, what's that, what?
2:58🔗
Adam
Yeah, so they're just gonna split, yeah, of course, they just finally go so fast. Well, you know what actually happens in deceleration injuries, this is something for everyone to learn, your aorta is held in place by sort of a tendon, and when it decelerates real fast, your aorta will tear and just everything just spills out inside your in your chest basically. So although you won't actually split open, although things are going fast enough, and these rides maybe they will, your insides decelerate slower than your body decelerates, so it keeps going forward. That's how people die in car accidents and things oftentimes, or you sort of your brain moves in your skull and it causes a vein to tear. That's good, that's good times, it's all good. I feel like that was happening every ride I was on, but we had a great time. My kids love these things. That's how it goes. So Rob Schneider is coming along here somewhere and is trying to track him down. We'll go to calls in the meantime. It's 1-800-LOVE-191. Rob is supposed to spend the whole week with us here this week. You know him from 51st States, you know him from The Hot Chick, Deuce Bigelow, both the male Jigelow and European Jigelow. Male Jigelow, European Jigelow, that's it. He was in Saturday Night Live for several years and he'll be back and just he'll be with us in a few minutes. This is Matt who's 19.
4:06🔗
How are you doing, man?
4:08🔗
How much did you know?
4:09🔗
All right.
4:13🔗
All right.
4:14🔗
I'd say about six months ago, my friend was telling me about getting off, different ways like getting off, shoving things in your pee hole.
4:29🔗
I mean, it hurts at first, but I mean, then the access starts feeling good once you work your way up with it.
4:38🔗
It's like on the internet. You guys never seen anything like that?
4:42🔗
Adam
No, I've never seen anything like that. Although I have done a number of procedures on a number of different people and I trust you, they do not get off. They do not have erections. It does not feel good to them. No matter how you anesthetize it, no matter how many times you do it, no way. So if they're advocating something like that, they're trying to get you to do something that hurts. Maybe they're doing it as a part of some weird S&M procedure, but no, it's not something that makes things feel good under any circumstances that I can see. And by the way, that's a sterile, from the tip of the penis on in is a sterile territory. You put something unsterile back in there, not only are you going to cause scarring and breakdown and all kinds of horrible, you can cause infection. It can really be a catastrophe. So, hey, but good times, whatever you're into, right? Whatever, whatever, if you're into that, that's fine, Matt. Oh, my God. Kylie, 22.
5:34🔗
Hi.
5:36🔗
Well, I have the whole, you know, bad past, you know, trauma in my past and everything.
5:47🔗
Yeah, it's the whole daddy wasn't there syndrome and when he was, he was beating my mom and stuff. So, that's fantastic.
5:53🔗
Adam
Anyway, anyways, I have like this, I'm kind of attracted to girls, but I don't know if it's just one of the sort of routes to lesbian I've seen is when women have been around too much brutality delivered by men.
6:08🔗
Yeah.
6:13🔗
What's hard for me though, is I don't, I don't really remember it. Like a lot of my, I'm bipolar too. And not bipolar too, bipolar one, but bipolar one also.
6:24🔗
And then, so I, they, a lot of my, I don't remember a lot of my childhood. Like, and most of my doctors say that they think I probably dissociated during it, so it was pretty tough. And a lot of them also think that I may have been sexually abused.
6:43🔗
Because, just because of the way I act and I had sex at a young age and.
6:49🔗
And all that stuff.
6:51🔗
Adam
And what's your question? Is it adding up the score and saying yes, yes, yes? Good and good that you're getting treatment, good that you have insight, good that you have a diagnosis.
6:59🔗
No, I just, I don't know if like that's why I'm attracted to girls or if it's just because. Well.
7:09🔗
I don't know, because I'm attracted to guys, too, and I just don't know how to go about.
7:12🔗
Adam
All right, so here's sort of what I would expect given the history you're describing. Is that there's a lot of confusion about who you are in a relationship, a lot of confusion about sexual orientation, and guys are probably pretty scary.
7:31🔗
Adam
I don't want to put words in your mouth, but you've seen a lot of brutality delivered by men, and you probably attracted to guys that are not so great, so had some crappy relationships under your belt, I bet.
7:43🔗
Adam
All right, and so men just don't look terribly appealing, even they look very exciting. They've been a pain.
8:05🔗
Adam
Right, that makes perfect sense, right? Yeah, that's a better form of the male, right? He's not so threatening, he's not so aggressive. Yeah, he's nice. Yeah, he's everything that's good about a woman than a guy. Except he doesn't like you. He's not into women. So in a way, it's a perfect solution to your problem, the unattainable guy that's nice. But that's not good. That's not the way of a real relationship.
8:28🔗
Caller
Like, if I do decide to be a lesbian or whatever, not that it's necessarily a choice, I don't really know. Will I, like, eventually, I don't know, is it like I'm being a fake lesbian and eventually I'll grow out of it or?
8:46🔗
Adam
I would just, yes, it makes good sense. Kylie, just consider yourself kind of confused right now. Okay, until you kind of get to the point where you feel connected to another person, comfortable with a person, attracted to that person, whether that's a male or female, when you want a relationship with that person, that's when you should be in the relationship. Now, with all this confusion and identity confusion, the real risk is you're going to be attracted to people that are basically a reaction to how you're feeling about relationships. In other words, you're either going to be wanting somebody who's unattainable, like your friends, your gay friend, or somebody who's exciting and abusive, because dad was abusive and that sort of becomes the model for attraction in your adult life. That's what you have to watch out for. Not so much about your identity as much as who you're going to be attracted to. So really what you need to find is somebody who's not too exciting, somebody who you are attracted to, at least moderately. And it sounds to me like you're sort of, you're gay by default, that men are sort of scary and a bit abusive and you've seen all the brutality delivered by men and probably made some bad choices with men. So you're sort of pushed over the other direction and you're confused. I don't know. I would be very slow and very careful to pick a partner in a relationship. Take it easy. Work with your therapist. It's good that you're in treatment. You're taking your medications. Go slow. Mike 31.
10:07🔗
Caller
Not much. I got a question about hemorrhoids. Like, what's the procedure for that anyway? Like, because from what I hear, like it's, they set you up as if, I guess, like you're going to have a baby or something and they cut your rear end or something like that. And from what I hear, it's really painful, too. It's worse than giving birth.
10:30🔗
Adam
And you just thought to call Loveline to ask a hemorrhoid question? It's a good time. It's all right. It's all right.
10:47🔗
Adam
Oh, but National Radio Program, no problem. Okay. I understand. Okay. All right. So have you tried anything else for these hemorrhoids? Are they recurrent problems? Are they multiple? Do they bleed? What's happening?
10:58🔗
Caller
Well, like, you know, it hurts, like, if I pass gas or if I go to the, you know, the path.
11:08🔗
Caller
Well, I've had it for a little while. And actually, my dad had it when, you know, when he was younger and he had it fixed. And I had it when I was a bit younger.
11:16🔗
Adam
All right. Here's the deal. All right. Here's the deal. If this is hemorrhoids, which you don't know, because you can't tell, you have to have a doctor examine it. There can also be fissures and fistulas and abscesses and all kinds of other things that can feel just like hemorrhoids, okay? So you don't know if that, and hemorrhoids, so people understand they're basically congested veins down around the anus and they look like little polyps kind of poking out there. And if they are recurrent, if they are bad, in particular, if they bleed, they can band them or ultimately they can cut them out. Generally, we try not to do that because it does hurt like hell. You'll never believe how many things you do include movement in that area of your body. Every time you chew food, every time you move around, it is excruciating. So we try to avoid that procedure. So in your case, Mike, you got to see a doctor to get a diagnosis, first of all. And then there are all kinds of other things you can do to sort of get these under control other than a surgery or procedure. You might want to try Anusol Cream over the counter for the first, first line of defense. Here's Kevin, who's 18. Hey. Kevin, what's going on?
12:14🔗
Adam
We're good. We're going to have Rob Schneider in here in about, I bet, 10 minutes. He's on his way.
12:25🔗
Caller
Nothing. I heard that you can put on your perineum while you're having an orgasm and it'll cause the semen to go into your bladder.
12:38🔗
Adam
Goes into your bladder. If you push, the perineum is the, as Adam used to say, it's the part between Scrotenberg and Anusville. Right. The taint, you push there, you learn the right spot and it sort of redirects the flow back up towards the bladder during an orgasm. Not the healthiest thing you can do, right? Things that need to come out of your body, generally designed to come out. You cause a lot of irritation and even again, you could cause stricturing in the urethra, that sort of thing. But people do do it. I've talked to people on this show that do it routinely. The motivation to do it is what I find rather bizarre. The motivation generally is sort of thrown under the umbrella of cleanliness. Really? Really? It's that big a deal to pick up some Kleenex for you guys?
13:18🔗
No, it's not a big deal.
13:28🔗
Adam
Why did you give me advice? I'm not sure I gave you advice. Let's talk to Jim who's 23. Jim?
13:41🔗
Caller
I got a small question. I've been with this girl for about four years. I met her when I was 19. She was my first love. I gave her my virginity, all that. Anyways, I know since we first became sexually active, when she climaxed, she would urinate a little bit.
14:09🔗
Caller
That's just the tip of the iceberg. Last week, we went to a party at her friend's house, had some drinks, ended up getting pretty drunk. We came home, things got hot and heavy, started having sex, and we did it longer than we'd ever done it before in like an hour, hour and a half. And this time when she climaxed, she pooped also, like a lot. And now she's all creeped out, she won't have sex with me.
14:40🔗
Caller
Well, yeah, but you know, not to the point where I don't want to have sex with her anymore.
14:48🔗
Adam
Hang on a second, guys, if this is real, which I'm still debating, it's the beauty of guys, right? First of all, nothing stops them, right? He could have, I mean, he could have caused a hemorrhage, near-death experience, it's like, well, what's the big deal? Let's get going here. That, and then the fact that anything that a guy does that produces something different than what other guys have produced, oh, fantastic. You know, even if she's producing stool over herself, it's fantastic, Jim. And now, do you want to, help me understand what it is you're-
15:24🔗
Adam
Is it like something that happens to a lot of women? No, I mean, maybe, no, it does not happen to a lot of women, but also you may have been going so long that you actually caused her pain or discomfort or, I mean, an hour and a half for some women is excruciating.
15:37🔗
Caller
Yeah, well, she said she didn't feel anything. She said she couldn't even feel it coming out.
15:40🔗
It just kind of was happening.
15:41🔗
Adam
Yeah, but you may have sort of anesthetized the whole area there by traumatizing it. I, you know, that's a little, you know what I mean? I don't know. I don't know if you're, if this is bogus, I don't know if it's not, but I don't quite see where there's a question here. So, other than giving her a little time to kind of feel better about things and maybe pay attention to that, I mean, this is no question. It has to be kind of bogus. Steve, 22.
16:03🔗
Hey, what's going on? Steve. Actually, I was calling, I have a slight addiction to, well, it's not slight, I can't really call it that, but I have an addiction to Ritalin and Adderall. Previously, back in, I mean, there was a time where I was just addicted to other anti-thetamidic drugs, cocaine, methamphetamines, and I was just acting with methamphetamine in it.
16:26🔗
Adam
Well, look, you're addicted to stimulants. You're a stimulant addict. What's the question?
16:31🔗
Well, I mean, is this really doing any, I mean, taking Ritalin as I would be taking it prescribed, would that do any, would that, now, since I haven't gone to see a doctor or anything about this, I mean, is this okay? Can I still be doing this? Should I?
16:48🔗
Adam
No, your addiction is quite active. You're on Ritalin and Adderall, was never designed to be used together, first of all. Secondly, I'm sure you're doing more of Ritalin than is generally prescribed. And even if you're not doing that way all the time, you're maintaining it and then kind of boosting it up once in a while above to get high. You're an addict, you're a drug addict, you're a stimulant addict and you're on maintenance here with the Ritalin and the Adderall. What's the plan?
17:10🔗
Oh, I mean, I don't have insurance at this point in time. I'm not able to go see a doctor. Is there anyone I could go see?
17:17🔗
Adam
Yeah, there are county-funded beds around town. You have to go in and get detoxed and spend some time in a program and get sober. It's not going to stop by itself. By the way, you're in medicines that are less dangerous than the pure amphetamines, but the amphetamines will do damage over time. They're one of the drugs that causes something called excitotoxicity, which is basically overstimulated into the brain to the point that the brain's own chemicals get loose in the cells. They're normally little vesicles, little packets called vesicles, and they break loose inside the cell and form free radicals and destroy the cells. So we see with stimulant addicts, lots of memory problems, lots of mood disturbances, and this is for the most part permanent because of brain destruction. So here we are, you're 22, you know you've been strung out on stimulants, you're strung out again, get a county-funded bed, call around, 12-step meeting, go to a 12-step meeting, ask around where there are places you can go. There, you know, Salvation Army, go out to Santa Monica to Clare Foundation. They will take in anybody anytime. Let me talk to Steve again. Steve, Santa Monica, Clare Foundation, all right?
18:36🔗
Yes. What's up? My question is, when I have sex, I've been sexually active since I was about 18, and every probably about 10 times I have sex, I have like a horrible, horrible, throbbing pain, like in and around like my anus area, and like maybe my cervix, I'm not really sure, and it happens for like about an hour. I don't really know, you know, I don't know if that's just something that comes with having sex when hard or, you know, if it's natural or because girls are always saying how they're sore, if that's part of it or...
19:12🔗
I mean, I can't even sit down, you know.
19:17🔗
Yes, it's like everything, and it's like a throbbing horrible, horrible pain.
19:21🔗
Adam
I'm sorry. It's a little funny though. There's really a couple possibilities here. Generally, pain that doesn't have a specific cause is called Proctalgia Fugex, and it's an old term for... it's nothing. Basically, they didn't know what was going on, so they gave it a fancy name. Generally, in my experience, this kind of pain in men or women, men get it too, is a spasm of the pubococcygous muscle, which is a muscle that goes from the vagina to the anus, and it can really... it's a deep muscle. It's the one that people work out with the Kegel exercises.
19:54🔗
Right.
19:55🔗
Adam
And it can go into a spasm. It can really feel kind of visceral and uncomfortable. The other thing... you have to ask yourself those, why is this happening?
20:03🔗
Right.
20:03🔗
Adam
That's what needs to be investigated. You need a careful pelvic exam. Do you have some endometrial infection, line of the uterus infection, or tubal infection, or abscess, or something else? Because things fluid, like when there's inflammation, or when the ovarian cyst rupture can track down towards the anus there and cause all kinds of funny symptoms.
20:24🔗
Adam
Not real. Well, slow down a little bit. You know what I'm saying? Just take it easy. Realize this can happen. I suppose Kegel exercise would be one way of trying to condition yourself to deal with it. But it is a visceral muscular experience, and it's not something that I've really seen any great treatments for. I knew there are physical therapists now that specialize in the pelvic musculature, so I imagine they have something, but I'm not aware what that is.
20:52🔗
Adam
My goodness. Are we helping lots of people tonight, Rick? I don't know. Yeah, yeah, yes. Engineer Rick says, yeah, yeah, it's great. It's great. All right, well, let's keep going, then. One more. This is, Greg was 32. Hey, Anderson yelled, break. Anderson, I'm waiting for Rob Schneider to get here. I'm going to give him an extra five minutes, because he's driving here. He got screwed up on the freeway or something. He'll be here. Greg, what's up? 32.
21:15🔗
Rob Schneider
Dr. Greg, I was mountain biking about a year ago, and I wiped out and I crushed my scrotum. Yeah. That hurt for about an hour. I went home and I was fine. About two weeks later, I noticed I have a third ball. I got a hard lumpy mass in there, so I go to the doctor and get a radiologist to look at it.
21:40🔗
Rob Schneider
Yeah, an ultrasound. She said it wasn't serious because it was just like a hydrocele or a varicocele.
22:00🔗
Adam
Well, they can put a needle in it and see if it, you know, drain it and see if it goes away. Sounds like fun, huh? Good times, right? I wouldn't necessarily want that done. Are you sure it hurts you or are you just thinking about it, obsessing about it hurts you?
22:13🔗
Adam
Yeah. These are usually nothing. Then they can be associated with inflammation. Then you might just try an anti-inflammatory like Motrin for four or five days.
22:32🔗
Adam
Well, you can just try plain old over-the-counter Advil for a week or so, but it's usually not a big deal. You saw a urologist?
22:39🔗
Adam
That'd be the one next step to do is see a urologist to make sure that there's not something from a specialist point of view that should be done, okay?
22:52🔗
Adam
Most guys get one of these eventually, something like this. They're just cysts and that form in the test is they're exceedingly common. You're imagining it's from the trauma, which it could be. It may have already just been there.
23:06🔗
Adam
Yeah. And so these are not a big deal. It's not like it's going to keep growing, other though sometimes they do.
23:15🔗
Adam
All right, Greg. Yeah. We're helping people tonight. Rob Schneider will be our guest any minute. You know, I'm from Duis Bigelow. Most recently, Duis Bigelow, European Gigolo out on DVD Tuesday, November 29th. Our phone number is 1-800-LOVE-191. We're taking lots of calls tonight and I'll just keep blowing through calls by myself until Rob gets here. So we'll be back right after this.
23:57🔗
Drew
Dr. Drew, I want to apologize to you and the listeners. But I gotta honestly say, an hour and a half of me is worth more than two hours Adam Corolla.
24:15🔗
Adam
You're still one of our favorite guests. That last show you and I did together was one of my all-time favorites.
24:39🔗
Drew
BenchWarmers with John Heater, you know, Napoleon Dynamite. And then with also the great David Spade, John Lovitz. Adam Sandler wrote it. It's his best script, I think.
25:02🔗
Drew
I don't know. I mean, don't just assume that. I mean, just because I have no medical degree.
25:08🔗
Drew
And no experience, and I'm late, and I'm not Adam Corolla. Don't just assume that I don't know anything about your sexual deviant problem.
25:19🔗
Caller
So yeah, I'm 26. I've been dating this guy for about six months. He's 27, super successful. And he just came out a couple months ago and said-
25:25🔗
Drew
I'm sorry, but who is super successful at 27? Unless he's like Jim Morrison. I don't know. I find that, how is he so super successful, first of all? Your story already is lacking credence.
25:37🔗
Caller
No, no, no. Well, okay. He worked for a technology company. He just got his first Porsche. Like he's, I don't know, really smart, really like put together, really. I mean, you would have no idea, but anyway, like a couple months ago, he said that-
25:49🔗
Drew
Okay, I'm sorry. We have to stop this right now. I would have no idea. A Porsche? That means super successful? That means I'm super successful.
26:00🔗
Drew
It's all right. That's all right. I know. I know. I like that you're not shallow at all. I like that so far. I like the first thing with success is not that he's spiritual, takes care of his family, he has a Porsche.
26:20🔗
Caller
Like I said, he came in a couple of months ago and said that he likes to cross dress, which at first I thought it was kind of different, kind of strange, but I actually kind of like it. We've been doing like role reversals and things like that. I guess my question is to like-
26:42🔗
Drew
I just wrote down, it's funny, Dr. Drew, we're on the same wavelength. I know it's the first day of the week. I just wrote down Dildo. We just read it, didn't we?
26:50🔗
Caller
No, no, I swear. Here's the worst part is that we've never actually had sex. Even when we're not doing that.
27:02🔗
Drew
Yeah, yeah. My thing is this. What do you base your having this relationship with this guy for six months? I mean, have you ever gone out with a guy for six months and not had sex with him?
27:10🔗
Caller
Well, that's the thing is like I love him, and respect him, and admire him, and he just says that he's not ready, I guess.
27:22🔗
Drew
Yeah, this guy is as gay as gay can be. I mean, he's like a flaming, cross-dressing gay guy.
27:37🔗
Drew
Don't we have a pause button? There's a pause button. Okay, thank God. Can I get one of those? I'm here for the week. If I was just here one night, then I would...
27:51🔗
Drew
I need one, I need one. But you know what, though? She is just absolutely in unbelievable denial.
27:57🔗
Adam
Yes, but let's debate this a little second. The cross-dressing thing, the gender identity, is separate from sexual orientation.
28:05🔗
Adam
You know what I'm saying? So he may not be gay, but what I will agree with you on is that this cross-dressing thing does not exist in a vacuum. Here's what else we got to line up against this guy. He isn't sexual with this girl. Yeah.
28:18🔗
Adam
He's cross-dressing, engaging, and sort of weird acting out behaviors, yet not kind of consummating the relationship. What is going on here?
28:28🔗
Drew
If I'm on a first date with a girl, if she lets me have sex, I will. I'm a straight guy. And that is just what straight guys do.
28:35🔗
Adam
How about if she lets you dress up and role-reverse and all that stuff? If she- Where's that going?
28:40🔗
Drew
Okay. If I wanted that and she let me do that, I think that would be okay. But that's saying to me-
28:45🔗
Adam
Think about what that would mean about having sex or not having sex. If she let you do all that, you'd be on to other things very quickly, yes?
28:56🔗
Adam
I'm saying if she went so far as to act out sexual fantasies with you, she's cross-dressing and role-reversing and all that stuff, and then you don't have sex?
29:19🔗
Caller
Yeah, I heard the discussion. I don't think so, just because he says that he's not ready and that he-
29:25🔗
Drew
Okay, all right. There's no- Let me just tell you this. What's your name again? I'm sorry?
29:38🔗
Drew
Now let me just tell you, any straight guy, okay, even if he's slightly not so straight, like a guy who cross-dresses, okay, he's less than straight, but more straight, any guy is gonna want to have the sex or at one time with you and to not wait six months, that's just odd. And it's more odd, and it's also kind of saying something about you that you are putting up with that or something. Maybe you had some bad experiences in your relationship with guys and this is safer. I don't know. Maybe. I know it's my first day of the week. I'm guest hosting for a week and it's my first day. I know it's early. It's the first call. I know I'm putting a lot of pressure on you.
30:12🔗
Adam
But that's what I was exploring too. You sound like somebody who's had sort of bad choices, been sort of maybe disappointed with men. And here's the guy that's telling you all the right things. He loves you so much. He's not ready to contemplate.
30:25🔗
Adam
In the meantime, he's doing bizarre things with you and taking you down a path that's sort of peculiar. I promise you mean something else. I don't know what, but something. And so that needs to be explored with him. Why can't we have sexual relationships?
30:42🔗
Caller
Well, I mean, of course I would love to have sex with him, but he's only been with one girl his whole life.
30:54🔗
Caller
They were together for like eight years and then they broke up. It's been like a year and a half, but he says that sex is really important to him and that since he has only been with one girl that he wants it to be, you know, to be, it sounds so...
31:18🔗
Drew
Maybe, I don't know if it's a fetish. I think there's a gay thing here. I think, have you asked him if he's had sex with men?
31:23🔗
Caller
Well, I've asked him, you know, if... He says no, like he wants nothing to do. Like, I've even offered to...
31:33🔗
Caller
I've offered to take him to gay bars just to like, even for my own peace of mind, to like see him in that environment, to see if maybe, you know...
31:43🔗
Drew
You kind of figured this out. You know what's happening here. You know what, let me tell you something. Rainy, Randy, Brandy, whatever your name is.
31:52🔗
Drew
You gotta find a normal guy. If this was Adam Corolla, can I do my Adam Corolla? You gotta find a normal guy who wants to have sex with you and is crazed about it and is willing to wait all night on a date and get home to have sex with you. That's what a normal guy does. This guy who cross-dresses doesn't have sex here for six months. The fact that you don't, that you're putting up with it, not going out with the guy who wants to bone you, is saying something about you. That's what Adam Carolla said.
32:21🔗
Adam
And it's also, he would also say that these things don't exist in a vacuum. That when this cross-dressing, the smoke, this fire, there's something else going on here about his relationships, about himself emotionally, and that's eventually going to come to bear.
33:00🔗
Drew
The looseness? What about it? The tightness? All I'm saying is you don't feel you're tight enough.
33:22🔗
Adam
That has nothing, nothing, nothing to do with it. You're fat. Each guy has his own clock. Some guys it's about 30 seconds, some guys it's about 30 minutes.
33:33🔗
Drew
It's not taking two hours, is it? No, no. So you're the first one who's complained about like, he takes too long.
33:41🔗
Adam
Yeah, they don't, this whole notion that women want people, guys to go forever, most of them in ten minutes max.
33:47🔗
Adam
And here's the deal, what we have heard complaints about is that too much lubrication. So moist that you don't feel anything.
33:53🔗
Drew
That's never a problem. I don't know what guys are complaining about that, unless he's a cross-dresser going out with that rainy girl. I'm sorry, so you're thinking that there's something wrong with you.
34:04🔗
Caller
Well, sometimes it's the case of too much lubrication and sometimes it just seems like there's too much space there.
34:16🔗
Caller
No. Well, I mean, there have been one or two with small penises, but that hasn't been the case before.
34:31🔗
Adam
Nulliparous, we call that. They've not had a baby. Do you think there could be such a thing as a vagina that's not tight enough?
34:42🔗
Adam
I think there could be too much lubrication, and there can be guys that take a long time to go.
34:46🔗
Drew
You know what else could be a good thing there, Little Miss 24? Anna. Anna from 24. I got to say that right in the stuff. Anna, you guys should have a little more foreplay. You know, don't just, maybe just go right for that. Do you guys have some foreplay? You enjoy that?
35:07🔗
Caller
Um, it really doesn't depend on how much foreplay there is. Sometimes there's a lot, sometimes there isn't.
35:14🔗
Adam
Well, maybe the foreplay needs to be directed to his genitalia, you know what I'm saying?
35:19🔗
Drew
I like to throw in the word bitch too, when I say that. I like, sometimes you gotta direct that bitch, you know, get that, get that attention where it's needed.
35:28🔗
You know what I'm saying? You got to show the man some respect.
35:41🔗
Drew
Yeah, I would put this as a quality problem, not a real problem. Like, this is a good problem that you guys will work out because you love each other and blah, blah, blah. Just have him be more, tell him to be more, you know.
35:54🔗
Drew
Yeah, tell him to, hey, get, say, froth it and get it going good and then come see me. Right. Get it, get it in the car on the way up there in the driveway, get working on it, and then come in to see me.
36:03🔗
Adam
Guys have a certain responsibility to take care of their own momentum, whether it's too fast or too slow, whatever it is, they need to kind of work it out themselves, you know what I mean?
36:11🔗
Drew
And if you love the guy and if you're into him, then you guys kind of work something out. But this is not a real problem.
36:23🔗
Drew
Fishers? Yeah, what can we do for fishers? I'm sorry, are you calling a fishing show? This is Loveline. What do you need help with there?
37:01🔗
Adam
Oh, fishers are, let me just put them on hold. Put them on hold with the blue, the blue button.
37:06🔗
Adam
Brian, you should mark a distinction, Brian. You may have fishers, but you were the first man to be put on hold by a drop sniper.
37:12🔗
Adam
1800LOVE191. Fishers are basically, like, you know you can get cracks in the corner of your mouth kind of thing, but these are deep, infected and inflamed cracks, crevices in the anal area. Got it?
37:33🔗
Adam
One time and you got recurrent fishers after that? Or you had fishers immediately after that and that was that?
37:40🔗
Liar, liar whore, liar whore, you know it!
37:48🔗
Adam
Yeah, absolutely. They tend not to recur when they're caused by trauma like that, though. If you're repeatedly traumatizing, they can. And the anti-inflammatory creams, they're basically treated the same way.
37:56🔗
Drew
Yeah, I don't believe that guy, because unless he's getting up in the morning and using a pogo stick the wrong way.
38:00🔗
Adam
Thank you. They're basically treated the same way as hemorrhoids, basically. So the great Rob Schneider is in here with us tonight.
38:08🔗
Adam
There's no way it could go with you. Deuce Bigelow, European Gigolo, coming out on DVD Tuesday, November 29th. Rob Schneider is going to be with us all night and all week. The phone number is 1-800-LOVE-191. We'll take a little break. Great Rob Schneider here on Loveline.
39:14🔗
Drew
Wow. Well, let me tell you, you know, as a performer, the most as an actor, the more important thing is to act. If you're a writer, you got to write. If you're a comedian, you got to find a place to do comedy. You got to commied. You got to commied somewhere. So, you know, for a bus driver, you got to drive a bus. You know, but the main thing is it's 50,000 actors in LA and about roles for maybe 1500 of them. So, you know, you're going to make it no matter what.
39:38🔗
Drew
But I would tell you, yeah, exactly. You know, I remember Jerry Seinfeld saying, hey, 1975, there were 40 comedians and eight of them were good. 1985, there were 4,000 comedians and eight of them were good, you know.
39:48🔗
Adam
I'm not even saying 12 of the actors are good. I'm saying 12 of the roles that are good.
39:51🔗
Drew
Well, that's right. But there is, you know, you just have to, I mean, I would suggest, you know, go to college and get on stage. You need to get on stage and experience something. Nothing's going to happen in between now and four years. So I would get in there.
40:03🔗
Adam
Let me ask this, wouldn't you advise people to get a very thorough education first for two reasons. One is you really can't play smart. You know, people are either, they're either smart and people, you know, people who are smart get better, more jobs generally.
40:16🔗
Adam
And in whatever field you're in, smart people, people like to hire smart people. They tend to be more reliable. They tend to be more interesting. And secondly, if the acting doesn't work, at least you've got, you're educated. At least you've got something to fall back on.
40:27🔗
Drew
Yeah. And one other element I'd put to is that then you'd be more likely or more capable of creating your own stuff. I mean, honestly, if I didn't write my own stuff, if Adam Sandler didn't write his own projects, you know, I mean, that's how we got things going. You know, I mean, you have to write your own things. If I wasn't writing my own movie right now, I probably would have a tougher time getting my next job. So you're just gonna make your own thing happen.
40:48🔗
Drew
Yeah, waiting for that phone call. I know they'll discover me. I work at Sears and I'm in the Automotive Department. They're gonna find me because I'm awesome, you know? No one's gonna find you. You have to go. But I would suggest going to school, get into a junior college if you don't have the grades to get in college, get into the university that has a good drama department, and just do that. I mean, you know, whether I, and I've worked with Charlton Heston, he went to Northwestern, I work with other people. You go to school and then you get on stage and you're getting on stage with people your own age and blah, blah, blah, and that's the way to do it. There's no mirror, there's no fast way to do it. You can move to New York, get into an acting class. I'd say go to college.
41:23🔗
Drew
I started as a drug dealer. I would go around to different famous producers and sell them drugs and say, put me in the movie, I'll give you free drugs.
41:43🔗
I did it with a girl since January of this year, and every time we would have sex, right after sex for the next couple of days, my penis will be very irritated, especially my foreskin because I'm circumcised. Yeah. Now, starting in July or so, my foreskin would actually start getting little cuts. It wasn't...
42:06🔗
.anymore. It was like little cuts all over.
42:07🔗
Adam
Right, right. Now, that's possibly herpes, but also there can be traumatic tearing like that, and then if it is traumatic, meaning from the sort of act of sex, it will start to scar down and narrow, so the foreskin will sort of close over the head of the penis.
42:33🔗
Uh, no, not, not.
42:36🔗
No, I wasn't.
42:37🔗
Drew
Let me tell you, Dennis Miller had a funny old joke. And he said, in my regular life, I wear four condoms. When I go to have sex, I take two off, I feel like a wild man. So, you know, wear a condom, and that sounds like you could have, you know, gotten something.
42:53🔗
Adam
Could be herpes. Could be herpes. But secondly, are you getting that scarring and narrowing?
42:57🔗
Right now, just like you said, for a while, I couldn't even, you know, peel the skin. But now, all the wounds are gone and everything, but now I have scar tissue around the foreskin.
43:13🔗
I don't have that problem with it anymore, but like when I peel it, so to speak, the foreskin, it's kind of rough, you know?
43:23🔗
Drew
Could you do me a favor and take some pictures of it and email it to me so that I can see it? Because sometimes I like to vomit after I have breakfast. If you can email me, you know, and get some really good ones, I mean professionally done, and then email them to us at Loveline.
43:36🔗
You can't really see anything, but if you touch it, you can feel where the little cut is.
43:44🔗
Adam
All right, here's the deal, Eric. That's a common reason that people get circumcisions as adults, is that having the foreskin there can eventually cause scarring in there. It's called stenosis. And it really can tear further and scar further.
43:56🔗
Drew
Eric, you can actually have it removed and then keep it and make it part of your wallet.
44:00🔗
Drew
Yeah, you can have a ceremony with all your friends and say this is a piece of my penis and getting rid of it. I'm getting, you can have a getting rid of a piece of my penis party. I've had one. And let me just, you can actually have that thing removed. But it sounds to me like you got something else there.
44:14🔗
Adam
Some slubber is telling me they had a breast. No, no, it's stenosis and it's why a lot of people, men get, yeah, you're right.
44:22🔗
Adam
I hear it could have been herpes that started all this, but maybe not. It's just a traumatic thing that can happen. It's a common reason why men need to get circumcision as adults. And it's a reason, yet another reason why circumcision should be done earlier in life because there's all kinds of things that happen that are unnecessary. But it's been well shown now it can reduce the risk of HPV, reduce the risk of cervical cancer in women just having had a circumcision. I don't remember if we had some celebrity up here who said that his kid had a bris and they buried the foreskin outside and the dog dug it up and brought it back in during the party. I wish I could remember who that was.
44:59🔗
Adam
All right. Rob Schneider is our guest in here tonight. He's with us all week from 51st Dates, all the Deuce Bigelow Films. Are there more Deuce Bigelow Films coming?
45:12🔗
Drew
The last one, yeah, yeah. We're doing all right. The video is going to come out. Hopefully, DVD, all right, make some money, pay off the house, you know what I mean?
45:18🔗
Adam
We'll be back after this. That's right, it's Love Line, 1-800-LOV. The one and only Rob Schneider in with us tonight.
45:47🔗
Drew
Yeah, I just was in Australia, and I ended up spending a few weeks in Rio de Janeiro, Brasil.
45:55🔗
Adam
Is that your first time around the world? I remember, you know something, I gotta tell you something. I remember when you had just come off your tour for Animal.
46:05🔗
Drew
Yeah, I mean, it's incredible. I mean, people who come up to you from all over the world. From Taiwan, or Ecuador. My movie gets to get released in Ecuador and Belarus, Bulgaria, you know, and Latvia. I mean, it's Estonia.
46:18🔗
Drew
Well, I didn't go to the little ones, but at this time I decided to go to... Somebody invited me to go to this place where they only have 18 theaters, is in Iceland. There's only 280,000 people in the whole country. There's more people that live in like a third of Santa Monica. Wow. And it was beautiful, an incredibly beautiful place. I mean, they have these volcanoes that heat the whole island up. It's freezing. It's at 66 degrees latitude. So it's... or I'm talking... Longitude? Longitude. 66 degrees. So it's freezing. And I was there in August and it was absolutely freezing, but beautiful. They have these hot springs where you can go in there. They call it Blue Lagoon and it's blue because of the silt and the stuff that's coming out of there. And it really is like neon, like a crazy blue, like a radioactive blue. And the thing is they just recently made it safer. They have the bottom because if you swim away, there's like a little rope and this is danger. And then people are like, oh, danger, whatever. If you swim on the other side of that, then it's unprotected and you could have a hot, you know...
47:16🔗
Drew
Lava, water coming up from heat, superheated, and it just burns people instantly to death.
47:26🔗
Drew
Well, we didn't see anybody die this time, but I did like swim around that area and go, death is right over there.
47:34🔗
Drew
No, it is wild. It is amazing. You know, I just hope that, you know, to be able to make some more movies that'll be fun and have an impact for, you know, like South America is incredible. Brazil is a fantastic country. And I got to meet and see different filmmakers down there. Like the guy who did City of God. He just did this other film, The Constant Gardener. It's a great film. It was an amazing filmmaker. And it just makes me realize, God, you can do so much more with movies because they made City of God for the price of my movies cater. So now I'm gonna jump into the independent film where it makes it more interesting.
48:11🔗
Drew
Yeah, yeah. I mean, I wanna go and make a film in another country. Like, there's a guy called me in Moscow to do a film. And I'm gonna-
48:23🔗
Drew
Just what I'm just gonna act in. But this next, I'm also gonna direct the film. The next thing I'm doing is called Big Stan. And it's a comedy that this guy Josh Liebro, who writes for the Simpsons, he's a genius. And he wrote this crazy comedy about a guy who goes to prison, is afraid what's gonna happen to him when he gets in there.
48:36🔗
Adam
Oh, I gotta have a role in this. I gotta be some dirty, drugged out, nut job. Please let me do it.
48:43🔗
Adam
That's something I've always wanted to do, is to play a counter character. Say something completely, completely out of character for me.
48:50🔗
Adam
To make a point. If you're making a point with those characters, about what those people really are.
48:54🔗
Drew
Well, this is gonna be, it's an exaggerated, kind of fun movie, but basically, it's a guy who's gotta be trained to make himself tough before he goes into prison. And it's really funny and ridiculous. And it's, I'm gonna direct it and it's gonna be fun. We're doing it for the price of like, nothing.
49:22🔗
Caller
Hi, I just wanted to ask if, I know you have some Filipino heritage and stuff. I just wanted to know if you speak Tagalog and stuff. I think it's pretty cool, you know, how like you always incorporate like your friends in your movies and stuff.
49:40🔗
Adam
Well, Claudia's building to here is that you'll also incorporate your brethren in the films and maybe offer other Filipinos a role, too.
49:46🔗
Drew
I actually would like to do that more. You know, I love, my Filipino relatives are so nice. You know, I used to go to my relatives' house. I had to be careful to say if I like something at the point of the wall.
49:58🔗
Drew
They take it off the wall. You like that? OK, let me take it off the wall. I'll give it to you.
50:01🔗
Drew
They're really nice people, beautiful people. So I don't know, my mom's from Baguio. Do you know where Baguio is?
50:11🔗
Drew
Yeah, yeah, it's in the low 90s, so it's OK. But it's a beautiful place and the great food and people are nice. Little dangerous there now.
50:37🔗
Caller
Yeah, oh, thank you. I don't get flashback, but, you know, I think you and Adam are, like, the most hilarious guys on the planet.
50:53🔗
Yeah.
50:57🔗
Caller
I was just wondering, like, what made you continue to go on with your next movie of European Jiggle?
51:08🔗
Drew
Well, I, you know, everywhere I went around the world, people kept asking me about it, and I said, well, if I make this one, maybe they won't ask me anymore. So that was basically why I did it. And I actually, when I was overseas, was visiting some troops over in actually Yugoslavia, the former Yugoslavia in Kosovo. And these guys were actually on the front.
51:30🔗
Drew
American troops and British troops and some guys from Denmark or whatever. And it's an international force over there. And they actually, 15 hours on the line with machine guns and then seven days a week. And then when they go back to the barracks, all they want is watch comedy movies. And I finally said, you know what? You're right. I'm going to write one. So I did. And that was why.
51:55🔗
I don't know.
52:00🔗
No.
52:03🔗
Adam
What? F is the matter with Loveline Callers. All you had to do is go, yeah, I can't wait. Can't wait.
52:09🔗
Adam
How often do you get to talk to Rob Schneider, Stephen? For God sakes. And by the way, he already said he was going ahead and doing the fourth version, skipping the third, going for the fourth.
52:21🔗
Caller
I also just want to say, I mean, just as long as I've heard, Rob is one of the best co-hosts after Adam has left.
52:35🔗
Drew
It's like a guy who comes in the ninth inning and he's got the two-run lead and he leaves the bases low and gives up one round but still wins the game. Technically a save.
52:58🔗
Adam
I like the way she says, hey, Rob, like she just walked in for a Christmas dinner. Hey, Rob.
53:08🔗
Caller
Okay. I'm a gymnast and the other day at practice, I crouched the beam and I was bleeding a lot.
53:40🔗
Adam
You want to talk to a doctor, okay? I don't necessarily think that they may have to examine the outside area a little bit.
53:48🔗
Adam
I think you are too, but I want to just see how comfortable you are. Do you feel okay going up on stirrups and having somebody looking around that area? Would that be tough for you?
53:58🔗
Adam
Still, I'd be irresponsible for me to say just let it go. I think you probably can. I think it's no big deal, but I do think you ought to talk to your doctor, or at least a doctor out there.
54:11🔗
Drew
Talk to your coach, see what you're coaching, because there's a lot of jokes that I can probably say right now, but you're 14 and I'll let this go.
54:31🔗
Adam
Tell her too. Wake her up. But I would tell the coach too, because God knows they have experience with this.
54:44🔗
Dr. Drew, how you doing today?
54:55🔗
I used to live up the street from you, Dr. Drew. I used to live on-
54:59🔗
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
55:02🔗
Yeah, I used to live on Maricopa Drive and I saw you a couple of times down the street and I was like, oh, well, it's Dr. Drew.
55:09🔗
Yeah, and Rob, I served you twice at El Cholo in Pasadena. I served your table twice as you and your wife. Last time I served you guys, I was like, who cares?
55:22🔗
Drew
El Cholo's good, man. It's good. It's actually, I can't go there that often because I'd have to continue to get bigger pants. I know, me too. I'm at the end of my fat pants.
55:36🔗
It was some machaca.
55:39🔗
Drew
I love the, honestly, the guacamole is really good there because they make it right in front of you. We want to prove to you how fresh this is.
55:50🔗
Yeah.
55:53🔗
You got to come by again, Rob, it means a lot to me.
55:56🔗
Adam
Rob and I will come together. We're coming together. We're going to have a meeting there.
56:04🔗
I have a question. In about ten days, it's going to be the year marking of my fiance passing away. She passed away last year on the 23rd of November. From what? She was killed in a car accident. She was visiting her family. And I'm pretty much like, the pain's subsided, but it still kind of bothers me to this day.
56:26🔗
I was wondering, as a doctor, I've been seeing a therapist who has an MFCC license.
56:32🔗
But how long would you know is the time frame for me to completely, I can't think of.
56:41🔗
Five years.
56:42🔗
Drew
All right, I'm just going to throw some out at you, all right? Okay, my dad passed away five years ago, and it took me two years to get to start to not let it bring me down every day. It takes two years, honestly. And you know what, the main thing is that you're talking about that and whatever, it's the healing process, just takes its time. The main thing is you cannot, there's no time frame, whether Dr. Drew says something or I say something or your doctor says something, you're going to have to be the one. But as long as you're doing something positive with your life and doing some things, then it's going to be that healing process that's going to happen. Stay busy, stay doing what you love, stay around your loved ones, and that's the best course.
57:25🔗
Adam
But I agree with all of it, is that after six months, if you're still overcome with grief, in other words, if it's affecting your functioning, if you're having flashbacks, if you're having trouble sleeping, if you're aware that you're getting depressed, having panic attacks, that's the time to kind of look into it. But in fact, you may wake up every day with a pit in your stomach, as Rob is saying, for two years, that can happen. And some people who live spouses, who have spouses of 20 and 30 years who die, don't ever get over it.
57:56🔗
Adam
It never completely goes away. So it's normal. The point is, what's normal, what's abnormal? It's not normal to have trouble functioning six months later.
58:03🔗
Drew
But you're going to work, though. You're going to work, you're living your life, and that's the best thing you can do.
58:07🔗
Adam
Serving Robert El Cholo. What a horrible thing. Have you been able to go ahead and have relationships?
58:13🔗
I tried to, and all my friends think that it's a little bit too fast for me to jump to go out and do it.
58:23🔗
I understand what you mean. I mean, obviously, I'm like a-
58:25🔗
Drew
But you can't go by what your friends think. If you think you're ready, then it's ready. I remember there's somebody who, a friend of the family who's passed away, and then the husband of like, I mean it was 40 years. Like literally a month later, is dating somebody else.
58:49🔗
Drew
Yeah, you can't. It's just everyone has a different thing, and you know, unless he killed her, you know, we should probably look into it. But the thing is, no, no, honestly-
58:59🔗
Drew
No, I don't know about relative. You know, the thing is, honestly, you got to- When someone has passed away, and this may sound cold or whatever, women kind of find that attractive. You know, it's like they want to sympathize with you.
59:13🔗
Drew
I'm saying it's cold. I'm saying it's cold. I'm just saying it's out there. You can use some of that. Okay? I'm just saying sympathetic. And that's a real one. I know it's a painful thing, but you should seriously-
59:31🔗
Drew
But you don't have to mean, like, honestly, let me tell you what the rabbi said. That they said, you can't-
59:37🔗
Drew
Yeah, you can't, it's mourning the person the rest of your life is not an honor to the person, you know? So that was important. And then he said a lot of other stuff, frankly, it was just completely insane.
59:48🔗
My cousin, Luis, he used to work with you at Laster Scintas Hospital.
59:53🔗
He says hello.
59:56🔗
Drew
Thank you, okay. Hey, the thing is though, seriously, you can actually use that experience to get laid, or lie about it, actually, and say that somebody that you're with passed away. It's just advice. That's not all gonna be good advice is we got to draw. I'm gonna tell you that right now.
1:00:22🔗
That's horrible advice.
1:00:24🔗
Drew
All right, I'm just saying you could use it. I'm not saying to use it. I'm just saying you could use it.
1:00:29🔗
Drew
All right, all right, I know what you're saying. Well, that was in the movie Animal House.
1:00:45🔗
No, man, it's ain't a bogus call.
1:00:57🔗
Caller
Well, I was just wanting to know if there's kind of like a similar complex to where younger brothers have a sexual attraction to their older brothers.
1:01:05🔗
Oh, yeah, and I have sex with my brother.
1:01:07🔗
Adam
They idealize older brothers, for sure. They can have all sorts of idealizations, and may need to cling to you, and may really need your approval and time from you and attention and whatnot, but it does not have any sexual component to it. Sandy 25. Nice try. Yeah, nice try at the bogus call, Dave. By the way, if it does, that means that child had been sexually abused by an adult.
1:01:29🔗
Adam
Whenever family boundaries are violated that way, amongst and between siblings, biological siblings, that means the kid that's initiating the action-
1:01:45🔗
Caller
Well, about a week ago, I kind of caught my husband looking at a gay website. I found it on the history.
1:01:55🔗
Caller
And we haven't been doing so good sexually. Well, pretty much we've been together, but it's been-
1:02:14🔗
Caller
No. No. And he's never been interested really in- I've never gotten any sort of foreplay. I think he's always afraid of my womanly part.
1:02:47🔗
Drew
Her womanly parts are well-maintained and ready to go, ready for action. She's not getting any action. So let me say, and when there is action, there's no foreplay. So let me ask you, let's get back to these internet sites. Was there a lot of action on there? Was it just one hit?
1:03:00🔗
Adam
In other words, it wasn't an accidental hit. It wasn't like he was cruising around and it came across.
1:03:04🔗
Drew
It wasn't like trying to find Google something for work and all of a sudden he ended up on the, I've got, you know, I need penis hotline or something.
1:03:12🔗
Caller
Well, you know, I suspect it may be more because he's constantly like wiping out the history on our computer and going...
1:03:20🔗
Adam
Uh-oh. Has there ever been anything else about men that he's mentioned to you or that you've been concerned about?
1:03:35🔗
Caller
The only thing is, you know, just his disinterest in, you know, me sexually is the only other thing that concerns me is...
1:04:01🔗
What are you talking about, Sandy?
1:04:05🔗
What are you talking about?
1:04:12🔗
Oh my God.
1:04:13🔗
Drew
The next thing you know, you're going to say I'm gay. I just like to look at other men's penises because I'm curious. I like to compare mine to theirs. So, I mean, you confronted him with it. Have you asked him like specifically, I mean, is there something about me that you're not wanting to, you know, be with? You know, have you got to talk to him?
1:04:35🔗
No.
1:04:41🔗
That's good.
1:04:59🔗
Drew
You deserve more than that, especially since half of your household income is going towards, you know, pornography. Pink cheeks.
1:05:14🔗
Caller
Actually, I looked up, I found a good sex therapist and he said, well, I hope, you know, they charge you less for one person because I'm not going.
1:05:21🔗
All right.
1:05:28🔗
You know what?
1:05:33🔗
Drew
Oh, man, that just made the exit a lot more complicated. Let me tell you, Sandy, you're 25. You take care of yourself below the waist. I appreciate that. We like that. You are still a young woman. You got a young kid. That's complicated. But let me tell you, you're in a relationship where you're not getting anything out of. Is he at least there for you emotionally? Do you guys like, do you talk to him about your work and what you're going through, blah, blah, blah? Do you guys have a really close friendship or is that gone too?
1:06:08🔗
Drew
All right, okay. So it sounds like you guys are going to have a really good friendship when he goes and comes out of the closet and starts sleeping with men that he meets on the gay internet site.
1:06:31🔗
Adam
In fact, what's interesting, I was involved in a study down at Emory University where they did functional MRI scans on men and women looking at images.
1:06:41🔗
Adam
Yeah, well not too fast, but enough to sort of see what your brain does with them. So there's neutral images, there's images of nude men, nude women, and then hardcore sexual images. All the straight men, and they only had straight men in there, when you put the-
1:06:55🔗
Adam
Not even hardcore gay, just nude men up there. The men, and I went in the scanner myself, you have this huge biological threat response. And I can tell you, looking at those images, I had nothing consciously.
1:07:09🔗
Adam
But I gotta tell you, I consciously, I looked at them and went, eh, whatever, you know, nothing, no big deal.
1:07:15🔗
Adam
But my brain lit up like a Christmas tree as threat. And so this is even beneath consciousness, this stuff goes on.
1:07:24🔗
Adam
And so, right, and so when you have a straight man looking at gay sexual images, they get this sort of recoiling.
1:07:33🔗
Drew
He wants to, you know what, and that says, can you go back to that one, please? I just want to look at it. Just I'm curious, can I have it as my screen saver? Can you email it to me?
1:07:51🔗
Adam
They're bi-biotic, heterosexual is what that is. It's bye-bye. It's not bye, it's bye-bye.
1:07:55🔗
Drew
No, but Sandy, you're young, you sound nice, you sound like you got your stuff together.
1:08:03🔗
Adam
Well, go by yourself first, and you may end up leaving, but I hope not on behalf of your child. It's much better for him if you don't.
1:08:09🔗
Drew
Yeah, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, well, if you guys can maybe work it out, but I'm saying you're young enough, you can start a whole nother life.
1:08:13🔗
Adam
Rob wants to date you, Sandy. What he's saying is Rob wants to date you. He's gay, he's never gonna work out. Let's put the cards on the table. You're in, you're in, Rob's in, he's out.
1:08:23🔗
Adam
Rob Schneider's our guest. You know him from everything. I'm trying to make the list here. We've got Big Daddy, Little Nicky, Mr. D's, The Water Boy.
1:08:38🔗
Drew
Oh, do they? Oh, thank you. It's a sweet movie. It's actually discovering, it's actually, you know, their website's on it.
1:08:42🔗
Adam
It's funny as hell because I've, not only have I seen it, but I've listened to it about 16 times as I'm driving.
1:08:46🔗
Drew
It's a sweet movie. There's nothing wrong in it. It's a sweet little movie. But I'll tell you, since I've been on the show already. It's a good message. It does. I wrote that for my 13-year-old daughter, basically to say, there's a great part of the movie where it says, you don't need a guy to make you feel good about you're beautiful and beautiful by yourself. And that women have kind of, young women respond to that. Because it's a lie.
1:09:07🔗
Drew
And I should already be offered to take over for Adam Corolla. They should just offer me the show. What kind of insult do they have?
1:09:19🔗
Adam
The phone number is 1-800-LOVE-191. Rob Schneider is a guest. Give him a call. We'll be right back. That's right. It's Loveline 1-800-LOVE-191. Rob Schneider is in here tonight with us. What's up?
1:09:39🔗
Drew
Well, I like that applause. Even if it's fake, it still makes me feel good. I'm pretty shallow, aren't I? Okay. Okay. Now, my daughter, this is tough, but I'm going to mention this now, my daughter called me up. She could be. But anyway, now she's in the East Coast. She'll be listening. Okay. She calls me up. I'm in Mexico. She calls me on the cell phone.
1:10:10🔗
Drew
So anyway, she calls me up. Now here's what you would do. Because your daughter's how old now? Okay. Thirteen. So this is getting closer. So she's just turned 16. She calls me up. She says, Dad, you're going to kill me. I'm in a restaurant with my friends. And we're at a restaurant, a friend's restaurant, and we're $100 over. I need your credit card. And I go, what? Well, you know what? You should have thought about that before you went to that restaurant. Good for you. And I'm not going to bail you out every time you blah, blah, blah. Yeah. You know, so why are you trying to be the big shot? What about your friends? Yeah. What about your friends? Why don't they? You say, I'm just going to call my dad, blah, blah, blah, blah. Anyway, she used the A word. And she used an F word before that.
1:10:57🔗
Drew
Yeah. You know, and then I had a hang up. So I said, you know what? She's going to. I said, I'm not here. So I called the next day we talked. And I say, listen, I'm not here to bail you out every time you make a mistake. I wouldn't be, that's not loving. I wouldn't be good dad, you know? I believe in you. That's why blah, blah, blah. You're in this school and blah, blah, blah, you know? But, and you, you know, do you have anything to say to me? I'm waiting for an apology, right? He says, no, you're not going to apologize. Now, I mean, you should have just blah, blah, blah. I mean, I hardly ever ask you for, and I went, oh, okay. The next day she doesn't apologize. And she still has that attitude and she won't apologize for swearing, blah, blah, blah. And so this is like a month or so ago. And I just, I called her up. I said, so she didn't apologize for a week.
1:11:38🔗
Drew
So then I say, hey, I won't say her name, but I say, it's Ellie. I say, hey, you did a really good thing. So I tell you, you really did a good thing.
1:11:49🔗
Drew
You did a really good thing. That's why I say thank you. Well, you really, you should feel good about yourself. What are you talking about? Well, you did a really good thing. I just want you to, you should feel good about yourself. What are you saying? Well, on behalf of Katrina victims, hurricane victims, thank you for donating all that stuff. I took some stuff, clothes and stuff she didn't wear and stuff like that.
1:12:07🔗
Drew
And I donated to charity along with like a lot of my stuff and everything. And she was livid about that. But I think, I don't know.
1:12:20🔗
Adam
No, they say, they say, the behaviorists say that the best way to shape behavior is to withdraw a positive.
1:12:27🔗
Adam
So if there are things that she liked that she no longer has access to, you've made your point.
1:12:33🔗
Adam
Yeah, because punishment doesn't do much. But withdrawing a positive tends to shape behavior more.
1:12:40🔗
Drew
I like that. So anyway, I thought you were going to tell me I was a psycho or something.
1:12:43🔗
Adam
And for a good cause. And that's different. That's a separate thing. You're being a psycho, that is. Because April is 29. April?
1:12:56🔗
Caller
I have a question. My boyfriend and I, we have a great sex life and we can go for like three, four hours at a time, sometimes a long time.
1:13:05🔗
That's not a great sex life.
1:13:23🔗
Drew
When I was 20, I used to go for five, seven minutes. So you're in good shape. So what's the issue?
1:13:29🔗
Caller
The thing is, when we hit that three, four hour mark even longer, he still hasn't had an orgasm at that point. I have had four.
1:14:14🔗
Caller
He doesn't say anything other than he's just, we're both hot and sweaty and I figured, oh, it's just from the heat and stuff. But, you know, I was in there going, well, that kind of makes me feel bad that you're not getting yours, but I'm getting mine. And so I was like, what's your question?
1:14:31🔗
Adam
Well, some guys have difficulty orgasming in any situation. And that, you know, those, those guys have some issues oftentimes. But more often than not, this is something biological slash pharmacological, meaning he's doing something you don't know it. Yeah.
1:14:49🔗
Drew
And stop making faces that aren't attractive, like, eww, get rid of that face, eww, when you're having sex with them.
1:15:21🔗
Adam
And those are what we call sequential orgasms. Those aren't really multiple orgasms so much.
1:15:29🔗
Adam
Yeah, well, all we're telling you is there's a reason for that and he's not telling you what it is.
1:15:33🔗
Drew
It could be some chemical thing but let me tell you something. It's a guy's... if a guy wants to, he's going to and it's... Don't make it your problem, all your problem. Don't feel bad.
1:15:46🔗
Adam
That is true and there's something up with him. Like, he is... there's something that feels pharmacological going on here. Whether he's on steroids and can't or he's using a biograph or something.
1:16:08🔗
So that's speed.
1:16:29🔗
Drew
But let me tell you, there's also caffeine pills that they don't even care about. You can take all the caffeine pills you want.
1:16:52🔗
Caller
Um, like, say I got in trouble there, like, you get beat or, like, you get locks in a box or, like, thrown in like this, I don't know, you get beat.
1:17:40🔗
Drew
Okay, so what were your parents thinking sending you out to Bethel Baptist Military School in Mississippi? So you got into problems in high school and in your high school, right?
1:17:53🔗
Drew
Okay, so they wanted to send you to a place where you can have a lot of discipline because that would help fix you out, right? Which always makes the situation worse.
1:18:10🔗
Drew
So when you told your parents that you were getting this situation, how did they respond?
1:18:23🔗
Drew
Okay, so you didn't talk to them right away. How long were you in that situation? For one year?
1:18:28🔗
Nine months.
1:18:30🔗
Drew
Nine months, okay. What was the worst thing that happened to you in there? Was there any sexual abuse?
1:18:35🔗
No, no, no, no, no.
1:18:39🔗
Adam
Well, it's normal to have post-traumatic stress after things like that. To have bad dreams, to have night terrors, to have intrusive images of all that, to have panic attacks and anxiety, even some depression. So, that's, I mean, you may want to see a doctor about that. Maybe you'll have University of Irvine, University of California, Irvine.
1:18:58🔗
Drew
You're out of there and you're talking about it. So you're already like a millionth of the way to deal with this problem.
1:19:07🔗
Adam
Yeah, that's my concern. Once in a while, the pot's every day. When you get PTSD and you're an addict, it tends to accelerate the drug use. Yeah.
1:19:15🔗
Drew
So basically, here's the thing. Stay clean, avoid military school, and get off the drugs, and you're going to be all right.
1:19:24🔗
Adam
I have rarely seen that kind of thing work out for people. You know, when kids are sent away because they're misbehaving, particularly if one of the reasons they're misbehaving is because parents weren't around the way they should have been when the kids wake up, and then they send them away.
1:19:39🔗
Adam
Right. And I tell you, I've seen a number of kids that when they've been sent away because parents were not around, they were busy with their own lives and whatnot, and the kids are trying to get some attention by acting out, they get sent away. Man, they count the minutes till they get back, and then they accelerate their drug use like crazy to get back at parents. So they harm themselves to get back at their parents. Mike 21.
1:20:00🔗
Hi, yeah, so, sorry I'm a little nervous.
1:20:06🔗
Adam
You should be. You're on with Rob Schneider. He should be very, very, very, very scary guy to talk to.
1:20:17🔗
Drew
It doesn't sound like that. Yeah, anyway, when you start to send stuff with yeah, that's a drug problem. Now what's going on, Mike 21?
1:20:26🔗
My girlfriend, I've been with her for about two years. It wasn't very physical until about a year into it.
1:20:33🔗
Drew
You're a very patient 21-year-old or 19-year-old. She's hot though. She's hot? You waited that long?
1:20:40🔗
Yeah, I got a lot in high school and once I hit college, for some reason, I was cool with waiting.
1:20:52🔗
Drew
You were making out and you were doing okay with other chicks while you were waiting for this girl.
1:21:04🔗
Drew
My experience is different. Sometimes I can't help but take my experiences away from the situation. But go ahead, Mike, so what's the deal?
1:21:11🔗
Okay, pretty recently, we started getting more physical and she wasn't able to orgasm and you know, I listened to the show and I told her, you know, that's normal.
1:21:22🔗
I might not for a long time.
1:21:30🔗
Yes, and you...
1:21:37🔗
I do the oral sex.
1:21:39🔗
And that didn't work until she suggested blindfolding her. And, yeah, there's, she's mentioned being, you know...
1:21:55🔗
Bondage being tied up, stuff like that.
1:22:01🔗
Adam
I was going to say, if it's bondage light, to sort of meaning, in order to feel sexual, I need to feel out of control, like you're in command of things.
1:22:09🔗
Adam
That's kind of a common thing, is that women... Yeah, some women, when they feel sort of ashamed of their sexual side, can't feel sexual if they're expressing it. They have to be out of control.
1:22:21🔗
Drew
Do you have, let me ask you something, when you guys are fooling around, is there a spotlight on her, on her face? Are you videotaping this? Are there other people in the room? I mean, is she embarrassed? I mean, have you done it completely in the dark? Is that, or she's just turned on by bondage?
1:22:35🔗
I guess it's just turned on by bondage.
1:22:38🔗
Drew
All right, let me drop a bomb here, pal, Mike 21. Now, as soon as a girl would say to me, time me up, the first thing I go to is, oh, she's done this before!
1:22:48🔗
Caller
I'm with a whore! She likes to be tied up and done crazy things, and she's done it with somebody else!
1:22:58🔗
Drew
No, and it doesn't bother me! But no, but that means she's done it with somebody else. Does that freak you out at all, Mike? Is that where we're going?
1:23:04🔗
Seriously? No, I'm pretty certain. She's never had a boyfriend before.
1:23:10🔗
Drew
Oh, no girl wants to be tied up in the bondage. She just says, you know what, just time to bond. She's done that before. Mike, in the recesses of your mind, you have to admit that that's what's happening. She's done this before.
1:23:23🔗
Well, my concern was that maybe it had been done to her.
1:23:28🔗
Adam
Okay, all right. Okay, now wait a minute, Mike. Those are the two possibilities. One is that she had been rendered powerless at some other time in her life, whether by physical abuse or sexual abuse.
1:23:40🔗
Adam
Whereby feeling powerlessness becomes sort of a way that feels attractive and sexual to her.
1:23:44🔗
Drew
It's what she's used to. You know, it sounds more like, though, if she's had that, then I would, you know, my thing is that I think she would, unless she's trying to regain her power in some weird way that I don't understand.
1:23:54🔗
Adam
Well, no, people that are traumatized are attracted to the traumatic experiences in a sexual way in adult life.
1:24:00🔗
Adam
And that's not something that's understandable. It's not something that's easy to, you can't make sense of that. It's just how humans are wired.
1:24:07🔗
Caller
She's done it with somebody else. And she wants to do it again. And you feel weird about it.
1:24:12🔗
Adam
Or she feels very bad about being sexual at all. And the only way she can be sexual again is if she's unable to be, you know, she's like, oh, I can only feel, he took over. He's completely out of my control.
1:24:27🔗
Drew
I'm saying I have had a lot and I've photographed all of it and videotaped most of it and it's all in the Internet. No, but I'm saying that this is not normal. This is not. This is a girl who's, if she's had this experience before.
1:24:52🔗
I would have that concern if I wasn't 100% sure that she hasn't been with anybody else.
1:24:59🔗
Yeah, she is a virgin.
1:25:04🔗
I have no idea. She's really, she never talks about that explicitly, but it's always been something I sort of had questions about.
1:25:28🔗
Adam
By the way, by the way, a girl you need to be tied up in her mid-twenties who happened to have been with another man at some point in her life?
1:25:44🔗
Just, just because it does seem so odd that, just, I don't know, it seems like, it does, like, like Dr. Drew was saying, it does sort of seem like maybe an embarrassed thing. Like I, that, that could make sense, but.
1:25:57🔗
Adam
That she doesn't like being sexual. Seeing herself as a sexual being is very uncomfortable for her. And, you know, again, if she doesn't feel overpowered by him, she has to artificially create a circumstance where she feels out of control so she can be sexual, because it's outside of her volitional control at that point. Wow. Wow. So that happens. I don't know.
1:26:21🔗
Drew
Yeah, well, I'm saying, you know what? You know what? And she has a problem orgasming, but that's the thing. I think that there are some issues that she's got there in her past.
1:26:29🔗
Drew
Yeah, yeah. No, no, no, no. I'm saying, though, if she's trouble orgasming and they're fooling around, but she needs to be tied up to do it and bondage, then there's something else going on.
1:26:42🔗
Adam
All right. All right. Listen. It's Loveline, 1-800-LOVE-191. Rob Schneider, Deuce Bigelow European Jiglow coming out on DVD November 29th.
1:26:51🔗
Drew
See you at the end of the month. But Mike, have your girlfriend calling you. I want to talk to her.
1:27:22🔗
Adam
Great Rob Schneider in here tonight on Loveline 1-800-LOVE-191. Let's very quickly get back to the calls. This is Bill 22.
1:27:38🔗
Good.
1:27:42🔗
Hey, I was wondering, like, every once in a while, I like to look at chicks having sex with animals. And I was wondering, like, no matter how much I try not to look at it, I always find myself looking at it anyway.
1:27:58🔗
Oh, I like look at it and it's kind of cool when I look at it. But I don't like, I was wondering why I would be interested in that.
1:28:08🔗
Adam
OK, it feels like a sort of what we call misogynistic impulse. Like you're not, you're sort of into degrading women a little bit, maybe, Bill.
1:28:20🔗
No.
1:28:23🔗
No.
1:28:30🔗
Drew
Let me ask you, do you have sex with women? Have you had sex, when was the last time you had sex with a woman?
1:28:37🔗
Yeah, my girlfriend.
1:28:40🔗
Yeah.
1:28:42🔗
Yeah.
1:28:45🔗
We do tie each other up every once in a while.
1:28:54🔗
No.
1:29:00🔗
Adam
You have something you have to seek out quite actively, so the trying not to look at it...
1:29:04🔗
Drew
I try not to... Let me ask you something, does it excite you? Do you get excited and do you masturbate to it? Tell me the truth.
1:29:11🔗
No, I don't masturbate to it.
1:29:14🔗
Yeah.
1:29:16🔗
Adam
Whatever. I just think it's sort of... These are the guys... Let me ask you something. I would put this together with anal sex. Do you sort of push your girlfriend to have anal sex, that sort of thing?
1:29:27🔗
No.
1:29:34🔗
I remember you saying that, if you're traumatized by something to the kid, you're into it and you're an adult.
1:29:41🔗
Adam
This is different. There are things that happen where people themselves get into things with animals. Those are kids that were usually often severely neglected in childhood where they don't feel attached to humans at all.
1:29:52🔗
Drew
This sounds like a weird curiosity. It sounds like you're the weirdest person who's ever lived there. I don't mean to go there, but I think it is.
1:30:11🔗
Caller
I actually had heard from several people that if you drink excessive amounts of caffeine, it can cause fibrous cysts in your breast.
1:30:21🔗
Drew
I mean, no, no, no. Wait, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. You've got to drink like a pot and a half a day.
1:30:25🔗
Adam
No, no, no, no. Caffeine and chocolate is even associated with fibrous cystic breast. It doesn't mean anything. It's just associated with that.
1:30:50🔗
Caller
It's just I've been hurting a lot more recently, and I don't know whether it's because I got a new bra or whether it's because I started drinking.
1:31:03🔗
Adam
Those underwire bras tend to dig in a little bit and tend to cause pain, particularly if you have a tendency toward cysts.
1:31:14🔗
Adam
Excellent. But I don't think I'd get so worried about the coffee at this point. You don't need to drink lots of coffee.
1:31:21🔗
Adam
B, it has no real significance in terms of prognosis. So believe it or not, Rob, we have to take another break.
1:31:29🔗
Drew
I would just say what this carolla needs to do is just go brawl us a couple of times a week.
1:31:50🔗
Drew
Well, Dr. Drew, I want to thank you for having me on. I mean, I think it was a good first night of the week.
1:32:00🔗
Adam
No, you don't want to peak early. I'll give you my critique tomorrow night. Maybe the way home. We'll talk it over a little bit.
1:32:05🔗
Adam
Until then, I appreciate you coming out all this week. I love it. It's a pleasure having you. This show for me went in about three milliseconds.
1:32:13🔗
Adam
Which is a great sign of a good show. And we will do it again tomorrow night, so please give us a call at 1-800-LOVE-191. And until that time, this is Dr. Drew on behalf of Rob Schneider saying mahalo.
1:32:24🔗
Drew
Next thing you know, you're going to say I'm gay. I just like to look at other men's penises because I'm curious. I like to compare mine to theirs.
1:32:33🔗
Caller
This has been Loveline. Opinions expressed in this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or the station. The producer for Loveline is Annie Gold. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.