Wednesday, November 9, 2005

0:15🔗 Voiceover 1-800-LOVE-191 Love Line starts now.

0:21🔗 Voiceover That's right, now, it's Loveline. Here we are again, 1-800-LOVE-191. I'm Dr. Drew. Welcoming back Danny Bonaduce to you for another quiet evening of enjoyment and discussion.

0:33🔗 Guest Thank you, Dr. Drew.

0:34🔗 Drew And in the room with us tonight also, as well as his lovely wife, Gretchen. Thank you, Gretchen, for joining us.

0:38🔗 Guest Thank you for having me.

0:39🔗 Drew And I think you're such a part of that show and such a part of who Danny is. I thought we're going to get Gretchen here and see her perspective on this too, because he certainly gave us last night your perspective. Now it would be nice to get from here.

0:50🔗 Guest Which is inaccurate.

0:51🔗 Drew Well, you never know. You never know. But yeah, it was very colorful, very colorful.

0:56🔗 Guest I tell a colorful story.

0:57🔗 Drew You do. He is. And so how's this field of have your life on TV all the time?

1:03🔗 Guest I'm really proud of the show because I really... Do you watch it? I have seen it. You know, we're executive...

1:07🔗 Drew Because Danny won't watch it, right?

1:08🔗 Guest He won't watch it, no. But we are executive producing the show, so I felt like one of us needed to watch it. And I'm very proud of it.

1:17🔗 Drew How about the therapy sessions where you're in there sort of really, in sort of quasi therapy anyway, it's not real.

1:23🔗 Guest Well, he's in real life therapy, so I'm more conventional.

1:25🔗 Drew But what he's doing is not the usual therapy, therapy. You feel okay about that? Does that feel intrusive?

1:30🔗 Guest No, I was all about it. And I wanted it to be really honest, and I tried not to edit myself at all and say exactly what I wanted to say, even if I knew it was going to hurt his feelings, it had to be honest. So I just tried to do that and you saw what happened. I mean.

1:46🔗 Guest I, of course, on the other hand, thought this guy was a punk ass bitch and told him so.

1:51🔗 Drew Because he was siding with your wife?

1:52🔗 Guest Yes. But that's the thing about being kind of crazy. You know, because I really had some kind of meltdown all of a minute, you know. I was just reading today that Chopin would never go into a room except left foot forward. Everybody's got their thing. So I went a little crazy.

2:08🔗 Drew Doesn't usually include carjacking.

2:09🔗 Guest But I'm just saying, I went a little crazy and had a little bit of a breakdown. But I don't feel like this this doctor was trying to serve my best interest.

2:19🔗 Drew Do you think the cameras influenced him?

2:21🔗 Guest I think the cameras influenced everything. Everybody says it didn't. The company line is to say the cameras didn't influence anything.

2:27🔗 Drew But that's not true. I did a thing once where I was following my treatment of a heroin addict through treatment and the cameras helped him because he knew the camera was always wrong. And it motivated him to make some better choices.

2:38🔗 Guest I absolutely did not sleep with anyone I'm not married to the entire time. There were cameras there.

2:43🔗 Drew It was a rare week for you, a rare 10 weeks. Unbelievable. Gretchen, do you go to Al-Anon now? Do you have some sort of therapeutic process?

2:50🔗 Guest I have gone and I didn't really find that it was for me. I think it's a wonderful thing for some people.

2:56🔗 Drew You still have a therapist?

2:58🔗 Guest We haven't really been in a while.

3:00🔗 Drew For you, not we.

3:02🔗 Guest No, I don't.

3:04🔗 Drew Somehow this came up last night. I forget the context. We were talking about you taking care of yourself. I asked Gretchen, because you got to grow together separately, but together. Right. It's important that you keep up with him. I mean, I don't mean just because.

3:17🔗 Guest I don't want to keep up with him.

3:18🔗 Drew Just because of his motor runs, I mean, emotion in terms of growing forward. He's grown a lot in the last six months, right?

3:23🔗 Guest I think so. I'm very proud of him.

3:24🔗 Guest They said that in rehab, Doc. They said it was surprising to me, because every now and again, because my moods change by the moment.

3:31🔗 Drew Yes, you know, rapid, rapid.

3:33🔗 Guest I literally I change by the second, and I would be agreeing with these people, and they'd be looking at me like I was strange. I'd say, don't put yourself down. Some of this stuff is actually working. And the next thing I know, they're telling my wife, you know what? He's growing.

3:47🔗 Drew Yes.

3:48🔗 Guest And if you don't grow with him, there's going to be the same chasm there is now just with a different guy on top.

3:54🔗 Drew Right. Have you heard that Gretchen?

3:55🔗 Guest Yes.

3:56🔗 Drew That does happen. It's what we worry about relationships surviving recovery as well as addiction because the codependent sort of, it's not that you want them ill, but you're used to them being a certain fit. And when they grow, they're a different person. You kind of pull them back to the way they used to be when they fit better with you.

4:11🔗 Guest Well, I know when he came out of rehab the first time and it was really weird because he was just a different guy. You know, he was very quiet and he's not a quiet guy. And how dare you, Michelle, Danny, I don't know. And and yeah, I was struggling to figure out what is my place here now. You know, I've always made all the decisions. And now what do I do? And so it was very difficult. But I'm just so proud of him.

4:40🔗 Guest Specific. When we say she makes all the decisions and things, I don't have a bank account. I don't own anything. I don't own a home. I don't own a car. I own nothing.

4:49🔗 Drew How do you guys meet?

4:50🔗 Guest I haven't made a decision since 1990.

4:51🔗 Drew Wait, you got married the first day you met, right?

4:53🔗 Guest We did.

4:54🔗 Guest That is true.

4:55🔗 Drew Yeah. I'm looking over here at Michelle. They met in Phoenix or something?

4:59🔗 Guest Yeah, we went on a blind date.

5:00🔗 Drew And he wanted to have sex, and the only way you're going to do that is if you're married. So he took you on your word.

5:05🔗 Dude, you know what though?

5:06🔗 Guest I mean, if you're a real man, I mean a real man.

5:09🔗 Drew Me personally? No, no, in general.

5:11🔗 Guest And anybody out there in their car, whatever, listening to this moment and going, damn right, if all she wants is to get married and she's going to give it to you, not that much to ask.

5:23🔗 Guest I think it's something in my DNA. I think every five years I have to do something insane, like marry someone on the first date, buy real estate in a foreign country. I think it just makes me feel alive if I do something really crazy.

5:34🔗 Drew Danny, she's my bowler too, not just big long cycles, five years. You're every five minutes, she's every five years.

5:41🔗 Guest Five, that's a long time for me.

5:43🔗 Drew So anyway, here we go. Let's take some calls. How about that? Are you ready for this Gretchen? Yeah, we're such huge fans of the show. It's a pleasure to have you here. Let's see what we got here. All right, here we go. This is now Jenny, who's 22. Jenny?

5:55🔗 Guest We got Norway last night.

5:56🔗 Drew We just heard from Norway calling it crazy.

5:58🔗 Guest Hi Jenny.

5:59🔗 Guest It's cool.

6:00🔗 Guest Hello.

6:01🔗 Guest Oh my God. I'm actually speaking to Danny Bonaduce.

6:04🔗 Drew Actually, the cable star now, Danny Bonaduce, and we were talking last night that I was offended on his behalf when the television writers go, he used to be this guy on the Carthage family, been gone forever.

6:16🔗 Guest Yeah, like I vanished.

6:17🔗 Drew Yeah. Ladies and gentlemen, guy was a radio star in Los Angeles, had two television shows.

6:22🔗 Guest What? You're overly kind, Dr. Drew.

6:24🔗 Guest I don't get that either.

6:25🔗 Guest Thank you.

6:25🔗 Drew All right. So what's up?

6:26🔗 Guest We also had the discussion that anybody that's done anything huge that they can never accomplish again is a has been. Therefore, every single ex-president has been.

6:35🔗 All washed up.

6:36🔗 Guest OK, Jenny, I'm sorry. Go ahead, please.

6:38🔗 Guest Yes. Well, I had a question. I actually have been experiencing some orgasm problems in bed, and I was wanting to ask about it.

6:50🔗 Drew Here you go.

6:51🔗 Guest The only orgasm problem I can see is not having one or having it be painful in some way.

6:57🔗 Guest Well, it has been upper my upper uterus region has. When I feel an orgasm, I'll have a sharp pain and then I will start bleeding.

7:08🔗 Drew Well, not like heavy bleeding, but so that that's a sign that there's sort of some inflammation in the uterus or some instability of the lining. Birth control pills can cause that is out. Are you on birth control?

7:18🔗 Guest I'm on depot.

7:20🔗 Guest Oh, depot.

7:21🔗 Drew So that can definitely do it. Did you did you bleed for the first three months? You were on the shot.

7:27🔗 Guest Yes, I did.

7:28🔗 Drew Okay, so that does all kinds of wild things to your periods, right? You bleed for three months straight and then you don't have your periods at all after that.

7:33🔗 Guest Also, it is not completely unheard of to get a bloody nose. Did you know that?

7:36🔗 Drew Depo-Provera, because of the dryness?

7:38🔗 Guest Yeah, it's not unheard of to get a bloody nose at all from depo.

7:40🔗 Drew Interesting. And then in depo-provera, in general, can affect your sex drive and orgasmic function. Have you noticed that?

7:47🔗 Guest Well, I'm actually having a second thought on the depo period because I went to the doctor.

7:53🔗 Guest I think that's reasonable, by the way.

7:54🔗 Drew It is reasonable. You've ever taken a depo shot, Gretchen?

7:57🔗 Guest I haven't, no.

7:58🔗 Drew It has a lot of side effects. It's very effective and it sort of had an impact on teen pregnancy because it's only have to take it once every three months. But it can decrease your sex drive. It can cause orgasmic dysfunction, cause a lot of depression, irritability, that kind of stuff.

8:10🔗 Guest It can also cause you to be one step away from sterilization.

8:13🔗 Drew No.

8:13🔗 Guest Makes me very nervous.

8:14🔗 Drew No, no, no, no, no, no. Not having your period does not mean you're...

8:17🔗 Guest No, no, no. I mean that you have that shot and all of a sudden you inflict it upon a certain segment of society. That makes me very nervous. When that first came out, I got very nervous for what are considered troubled areas in the world.

8:30🔗 Drew Karen, 23.

8:31🔗 Caller Yes.

8:32🔗 Guest Hi, Karen.

8:33🔗 Hi.

8:35🔗 Caller I wanted to ask you guys, I have painful intercourse.

8:40🔗 Drew Good times.

8:40🔗 Caller My doctor told me that I have a tilted uterus. Now, I don't really know what I can do. He said I could try different positions. I don't know.

8:50🔗 Drew Are you a Mormon?

8:51🔗 Guest Well, Karen, I may have some help for you right here.

8:52🔗 Are you ready?

8:54🔗 Guest Meet my wife, who also has a tilted uterus.

8:57🔗 Drew Thank you. Everything is open for discussion. Put yourself into the seat here.

9:02🔗 Guest Well, I mean, Karen is calling up. She's got a serious problem and my wife has it.

9:05🔗 She's right there.

9:07🔗 Caller I asked my doctor, I have painful intercourse every time I have sex.

9:11🔗 Drew All right. There's two discussions to have here. First, let's do the tilted uterus thing.

9:15🔗 Guest What do you do about that?

9:17🔗 Guest I think you just have to try different positions until you find something that's really comfortable.

9:21🔗 Drew That's typically what you do. Now, are you having pain with deep penetration? Is that what's happening?

9:27🔗 Caller Yes.

9:28🔗 Guest Then I'm your guy.

9:30🔗 Guest Liar.

9:31🔗 Guest You'll be fine.

9:32🔗 Guest Such a liar.

9:34🔗 Caller I won't be because my boyfriend is large and so I haven't been able to find a position at all.

9:42🔗 Drew Is it with penetration or only when things are in deep?

9:48🔗 It's with both.

9:49🔗 Drew Yeah. So this is an anatomical mismatch, really, and lubrication is important, position is important, taking it slow and easy, and some people, it's a deal breaker. We get many more calls about too big on this show than too small.

10:02🔗 Wow.

10:03🔗 Drew That is interesting. Sorry.

10:04🔗 Guest It makes me very happy.

10:07🔗 Drew Danny.

10:07🔗 It makes you very happy.

10:09🔗 Drew I did it. I got it in there for you. Okay. Here we go. All right. This is Ann, who's 26. Ann?

10:16🔗 Guest Hi. How are you doing?

10:17🔗 Guest Hi, Ann.

10:19🔗 Guest Hi. I drive home three-hour drive every night, and I listen to your show and it really keeps me awake. So, but here's my problem, okay? I've been married for five years to my husband, and recently in the past two months, his brother-in-law has been calling me a lot. We've had some family issues going on with his dad, and so we've had to be talking back and forth. Well, he's been making advances at me on the phone.

10:46🔗 Drew I mean, is this, hang on a second, Ann. Just keep that music on, Anderson, that's good. Is it when you're driving that three-hour drive, he calls you and starts talking dirty to you kind of thing?

10:56🔗 Guest No, he does it when I'm at home too. I mean, he called me to not while I was at school, and I didn't answer the phone, so.

11:01🔗 Guest And it's your father-in-law?

11:02🔗 Drew No, it's the brother-in-law.

11:03🔗 Guest Brother-in-law?

11:04🔗 Drew There's the father-in-law sick or something.

11:06🔗 Guest And where are you from?

11:07🔗 Guest I'm from Arkansas.

11:09🔗 Guest The reason I ask is because we had a call last night from a young man who said, I'm at Chicano and it's kind of natural for us to sleep with our mother-in-laws.

11:17🔗 And I said, you know, I don't think that's true at all.

11:20🔗 Guest I mean, they're like on my bed and I wake up and she's licking on my nipples, you know?

11:26🔗 Guest We got an ad from Arkansas. I just think we've got a national epidemic going on.

11:31🔗 Guest I just got done listening to that show. And so I heard that and I was cracking up the whole time. I was listening.

11:36🔗 Drew And what the hell? Come on. And it's your brother-in-law. Tell him to lay off. Yeah.

11:41🔗 Guest I told him, but I don't want to cause any chaos. I've told my husband about it. And he's like, well, just tell him to quit doing it. And then I'm going to care about it.

11:49🔗 Drew Come on.

11:49🔗 Guest If you told your husband, it should have been a close matter.

11:52🔗 Drew That's it. You've done what you need to do.

11:53🔗 Guest If my wife came to me and said, so and so is hitting on me and I don't like it, that would be that and it would never happen again.

12:00🔗 Drew And imagine this was a family member.

12:02🔗 Guest Yeah.

12:04🔗 Guest Yeah, because I don't like many of them. Wow.

12:08🔗 Drew This is now Candy. He was 22. Candy. Hello. Hey, Candy, what's going on? Hang on. It's Danny Bonaduce. Breaking Bonaduce is a show. I haven't had a chance to set up your show yet. We're going to do a couple things. Hang on a second, Candy. Phone number here is 1-800-LOVE-191. Just like we did last night, we're all going to pile on to vh1.com and show the power of the Loveline listening audience and vote for Danny for big in 05 awards. He's going to win that one just because of Loveline.

12:34🔗 Guest That would be awesome. That would be cool.

12:35🔗 Drew Because of Loveline. All right, Candy, what's going on?

12:40🔗 Guest I have a suspicion that what I'm doing would be considered abusing exercise. Yes.

12:46🔗 Guest That happens. I do it.

12:48🔗 Drew You exercise bulimia? That's a tough one. It's interesting that you would even call and be thinking about it, because most people that exercise bulimia absolutely deny it.

12:57🔗 Guest I don't know they've got it because they think they're doing something good for them.

13:00🔗 Drew It's so reinforced. The trainers tell you doing a good thing. You look great.

13:03🔗 Guest Everyone talks about it. I'm 46 years old. I'm 6% body fat. So I think I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. But I'm a member of three gyms. And the reason, because I don't want any one of them to know how much I work out.

13:15🔗 Guest Oh, really?

13:16🔗 Drew That's not good.

13:16🔗 Guest No, it's not good.

13:18🔗 Guest You've got so many problems, I know.

13:20🔗 Drew Let's talk about that. I mean, there's a buzz. There's a positive byproduct, right? It looks great, it feels great, that kind of thing. But it keeps them away, right? It must be frustrating. Like, you're always working out. Why aren't you ever at home having dinner with me?

13:30🔗 Guest Sometimes but it's a good one. You know, I'd rather he was doing something healthy like working out versus other things.

13:37🔗 Guest Yeah, and I'll tell you the truth.

13:39🔗 Drew Other habits do you have?

13:41🔗 Guest Are you kidding?

13:43🔗 Are you kidding?

13:44🔗 Guest And the cool thing is about gyms these days. I was just talking to this about somebody because Gretchen has no faith in me. I mean, I'm just being honest with you. Here, I'll just ask the question. I'll just ask the question, Gretchen, do you trust me at all?

13:57🔗 Guest I don't, but I'm getting close to it.

14:00🔗 Guest And you'd be foolish.

14:00🔗 Guest With you not being sober.

14:01🔗 Guest You'd be foolish to trust me with my past. Right, you would.

14:04🔗 Guest Yeah.

14:04🔗 Guest Gyms are not what they were. Man, chicks, you go and look at some hot chick at the gym, she growls at you.

14:10🔗 Drew Oh, really?

14:10🔗 Guest They're actually there to work out. It's not the 80s with Olivia Newton-John. They're really there pumping iron.

14:15🔗 Drew Yeah, they're exercise bulimics, too. They're busy working out their disease. So, you know, this again, when you get compulsive behaviors, whether it's exercise, shopping, sex, stealing, all that stuff, that's all, you're doing all that. It's all part of your, the part of your brain that's active in addiction pushing you forward. So, it's something you got to learn to moderate. So, Candy, what's going on with you?

14:36🔗 Guest Well, I replaced smoking with exercise. So, just one, just repeating one addictive behavior with another.

14:45🔗 Drew How many hours a day are you exercising?

14:47🔗 Guest I'll exercise sometimes for four hours straight or do two or three hours a couple of times during the day. I actually got an exercise bike and a Nautilus machine for my house because they were asking me to leave the gym.

15:00🔗 Guest Whoa.

15:01🔗 Guest That's after two or three hours on the treadmill, they'd be like, okay, you need to go now.

15:06🔗 Guest Wow, do they do that? Yeah, they do because they know. This is not a rarity. Candi, as interesting as she is, is not a rarity at all. And the people like my main gym that I hang out at, because everybody works hard is gold. I go there. And those guys, you see a girl on a treadmill for her second hour, you know, that's an exercise bulimic right there. That person's gonna drop dead of a kidney failure right on your treadmill.

15:28🔗 Drew And Candi, did you have a more sort of, let's call it traditional eating disorder in the past?

15:33🔗 Guest No, I've never had a problem with eating disorders. I mean, I eat regularly now.

15:38🔗 Drew Are you a trauma survivor?

15:40🔗 Guest I was raped when I was 11, but...

15:42🔗 Drew That's what we call trauma. That's sexual abuse. And there we go. So maybe we ought to really work on that. And maybe if you get some treatment for that, some of these exercise compulsions will settle down a bit. What do you think?

15:55🔗 Yes?

15:56🔗 Drew That would be good.

15:58🔗 Yes.

15:58🔗 Guest You know what you can do?

15:59🔗 Drew You're getting too much out. You know what? That little pause we just had there is a sign that you're getting too much out of this.

16:05🔗 Guest Right, that she doesn't want to.

16:06🔗 Drew Yeah, it's working too well for you right now. So you're going to have to really hurt yourself before you're going to listen to things like that.

16:10🔗 Guest A lot of drug addicts that I know used to get as much of a kick out of setting up the drugs that we're going to do.

16:15🔗 Drew Oh, sure, oh, yeah.

16:16🔗 Guest And actually doing the drugs, the ritual, right?

16:18🔗 Drew Yeah, the ritual is very gratifying.

16:20🔗 Guest Right, do you think it might work for her if she took her caloric intake, figured it out on paper, programmed it into a treadmill and ran that off, which would probably take 45 minutes per meal?

16:31🔗 Drew Yeah, you know what? What you're suggesting is really the kind of direction that some of what would be done to help her would be to create some structure, to have her see a dietician and then follow their direction. That's one of the hardest things to do, right, is to follow, trust somebody and take direction for them. I just gave you a direction, you went, well, we'll see about that.

16:47🔗 Guest Right.

16:47🔗 Drew I was like, come on. So she's not ready and there you go. She knows what she's got.

16:51🔗 Guest And boy, if anybody in the room knows when you're not ready because I'm telling you.

16:55🔗 Drew That's Gretchen.

16:55🔗 Yeah, that's Gretchen.

16:57🔗 Drew She's on the nose. Alyssa, what's going on? You're 21.

17:00🔗 Caller Yeah. I have this weird, I don't know if it's a fetish or what it is really. But my boyfriend, we've been dating for about a year now. And every time we have sex, I want him to pretend that I'm a guy and that he, it's kind of hard to explain.

17:22🔗 No, it's not.

17:23🔗 Guest Because by the way, just so you can relax a little bit, this is not rare.

17:27🔗 Drew Oh, this is new one for me. No, it's not new for me. Well, I'm just saying.

17:31🔗 Guest I've never heard of it. She's never heard of it.

17:34🔗 Guest I'm an old guy.

17:35🔗 Guest I've been around.

17:35🔗 Guest Alright, so he wants you to be the man, right?

17:38🔗 No, no, she wants, she wants it.

17:41🔗 Caller He doesn't want to do it. He was a drug addict for a while, and so he would have sex with men for drugs, but he's not straight.

17:49🔗 Drew Has he had an HIV test?

17:51🔗 Caller Yeah, yeah, he's fine.

17:53🔗 Guest Well, no, he's not. He's just not HIV positive.

17:58🔗 Caller Well, so he hasn't done that in a while, but like whenever we have sex, it really turns me on when he describes having sex with other men to me. Like the thing that turns me on the most about it is when he tells me how much he didn't like it and how much it was painful for him.

18:15🔗 Guest You know, we were talking about this last night. This is somebody who wants to do something that's dirty, wants to do something that's bad. You know what I mean? And I actually, remember I said, like a girl said, spank me, and I said, not a chance. I really like you. I'm not spanking you. But the idea of doing something kind of nasty, that does appeal to me. I think there's something interesting about that.

18:33🔗 Drew So there's that element. Can you relate to this, Gretchen, why a woman would want the game, do you get turned on by seeing two guys?

18:39🔗 Guest Oh, God, no. I don't get turned on, period.

18:44🔗 Guest Gretchen just doesn't get turned on, she's just in naps. But I have asked Gretchen on occasion and she, because she married me on our first day because she wouldn't sleep, she makes these things up. But I'll tell you the truth, I have asked her to describe sexual encounters with men while I made love to her.

18:58🔗 Drew That's a bad idea.

18:59🔗 Guest That's a bad idea.

19:01🔗 It didn't work out.

19:02🔗 Guest It didn't work out at all because I thought it was true. She's going, I don't even know that guy.

19:07🔗 I haven't even met that guy. What?

19:10🔗 Guest What do you mean you don't know the guitarist from Jane's Addiction?

19:12🔗 I'm sure you did him.

19:14🔗 Drew I'm calling that a bar right now. So there's something about two straight men having sex?

19:21🔗 Yeah.

19:22🔗 Caller I mean, I don't like gay men. I don't think fun gay men attract you sexually.

19:26🔗 Drew And what are the men doing in your fantasy?

19:30🔗 Caller You know, like anal sex.

19:33🔗 Guest Is it a fantasy or is he describing it to you as you're having sex?

19:37🔗 Caller Yeah. He's pretending that he's in that situation.

19:41🔗 Drew Are you having anal sex? Is he having anal sex with you at that time?

19:44🔗 Caller No, not usually. Sometimes, but not usually.

19:47🔗 Drew This is a very good new one for me. And it sounds like you identify so strongly with maleness that you want to sort of pretend you're the male with a male. It's almost like a gender identity issue for you, right?

20:01🔗 Caller No, no, no. Not really. It's just I don't really want to pretend that I'm the male. I just want to kind of, I just want to watch it.

20:08🔗 Guest You just want to hear dirty talk.

20:10🔗 Drew You want to watch it. Can you have sex other ways, normally?

20:14🔗 Caller Um, sometimes. But normal sex, it gets really boring for me. Like sometimes it can be.

20:20🔗 Drew Alright, so that's again, this is all trauma stuff again. So what happened to you?

20:25🔗 Caller Nothing. I mean, like...

20:26🔗 Drew Were you exposed to a lot of pornography when you were a kid, that kind of thing?

20:29🔗 Caller Um, I had an, like a, I think when I was 14 or 15, I was homeless in New York for a while and I...

20:38🔗 Drew Homeless in New York?

20:39🔗 Guest Yeah, okay.

20:40🔗 Drew That's called trauma, dude.

20:41🔗 That's huge trauma.

20:43🔗 Drew I mean, Alyssa...

20:43🔗 Guest I had a condo in New York and it was trauma.

20:48🔗 Drew Never mind, it was a refrigerator box, but he called it his condo. But Alyssa, come on, so how did you happen to be homeless at 14? That means you ran away from home?

20:56🔗 Caller Yeah, I ran away from home.

20:57🔗 Drew Alright, well kids that run away from home run away from home because they're being beaten.

21:01🔗 Caller No, I wasn't being beaten. I was in, like, the foster system, care system.

21:05🔗 Drew Alright, well, no, Alyssa, that's profound drama, profound drama.

21:11🔗 Guest You know what's interesting is how hard she wants to fight the drama.

21:14🔗 Drew I know.

21:15🔗 Guest How hard she wants to say no and then say homeless in New York. No, foster care.

21:20🔗 Drew Here's how you need to think about it, Alyssa. What people that have been through these kinds of things think to themselves is, I've dealt with that. I don't need to think about that anymore. And indeed, you have dealt with it as a memory. But in terms of how it's affected the growth and development of your brain, it's with you. It's just how our brains develop. When heavy things happen to us, when we're 15 and under, particularly 12 and under, it affects the way the brain wires. And you get things like fetishes. Those are common kinds of outcomes for that and all kinds of other things related to trauma. Drug use, dissociative disorders, mood disturbances, trouble regulating your feelings, trouble being close to other people. And when you have bizarre fetishes, because how you manage being close, that's a sign that something went on there.

22:00🔗 Caller We're now getting ready for hot horny studs.

22:03🔗 Guest Finally, one thing, because I have everything. I've got everything you ever, if somebody's going to call me and go, I got that and worse. But I don't.

22:08🔗 Drew I like that about you. Because every call, oh yeah, let me tell you about my story.

22:12🔗 Guest When I used to do my television show, the first television show for Disney, they called me to the office one day. And I was yelling at some girl on the desk. She goes, you know, when I was bullying Mick and I said, oh yeah, well listen to this. They called me to the back room and they said, listen man, do you always have to be crazier than the guests? Can't you just let the guests be crazy?

22:33🔗 Guest I think that's hard for you to do it.

22:34🔗 Guest I couldn't do it. No, because they weren't crazy enough. They were amateurs.

22:39🔗 Guest What am I going to do with this guy?

22:41🔗 Drew That's his mark of distinction.

22:43🔗 Guest It is. No, I embrace it and I love it.

22:46🔗 Guest Thank you.

22:46🔗 Guest You know, we've been married 15 years.

22:47🔗 Drew Right, and he's doing, and he's better, right? He's well, he's stable.

22:51🔗 Guest Yeah.

22:51🔗 Drew I mean, what I was telling him last time.

22:52🔗 Guest I've never seen him this healthy in all the years we've been married.

22:55🔗 Drew Right, he's recovered and he's recovering. Recovering. And his, the bipolar thing we were talking about last night, I suspected, I watched a little bit of the show too, and irritability was a main feature of his bipolarity. He's still got a good engine on him, a motor going, but the irritability just isn't there, right?

23:11🔗 Guest Yeah, no, and I'd never seen him like that before. You know, I think all the steroids and the Vicodin and the alcohol was terrible.

23:18🔗 Drew Yeah, steroids. We're going to talk about steroids when we get back. That's the one thing we didn't touch on last night.

23:22🔗 Guest Good. I think it's a good thing to talk about.

23:24🔗 Drew All right, we'll talk when we get back. The phone number here is 1-800-LOVE-191. Breaking Bonaduce is Danny Bonaduce's show. We're here with Danny and his lovely wife Gretchen, and we will return after this.

23:33🔗 Caller Loveline will be right back.

23:37🔗 Drew 1-800-LOVE-191. Loveline here. I'm Dr. Drew. He's Danny Bonaduce. She is his lovely wife Gretchen. And let's go right back to the phones. Oh, no, we were going to talk a little bit about steroids.

23:46🔗 Guest He's Dr. Drew, by the way.

23:47🔗 Drew We're going to talk about steroids.

23:48🔗 Guest Yes, we were.

23:49🔗 Drew So what were you doing?

23:50🔗 Guest Well, let's see, I was doing...

23:51🔗 Drew Were you stacking stuff?

23:52🔗 Guest Oh, hell yes.

23:53🔗 Drew Of course. Were you doing it yourself? Were you taking directions from somebody? Here's what happened.

23:56🔗 Guest I'm living in one of the gyms, getting ready to do the other half.

23:59🔗 Drew Because, you know, let me, before you go on, I will tell you, as a medical student, as a physician, I used to work out a fair bit when I was younger, and they would come to you and they'd have questions because they're doing stuff. And don't tell anybody, they'll never admit to anybody ever. I mean, they don't, they will look you in the eyes. I don't know what you're talking about. Even after unloading on me about the unbelievable amount of stuff they're doing, and they want to know, what am I doing to myself? Because they have no idea.

24:22🔗 Guest Right. Well, for me, the downside is I'm banned from Major League Baseball. Aside from that, I think I'll be all right. For me, I was doing Deca, Propanate.

24:33🔗 Drew Anadrol.

24:34🔗 Guest Yeah, Winstral. Which is very interesting because all of these bottles, which are liquid, they're all injectables, which is a drag because they're thick. They're based in oil, so they release slowly, so you use a 20 gauge needle, which is the same as essentially an ice pick, which is a big drag. So anyway, you would do these things, but here's what's happening. I'm living in this gym, and since I've already said I go to Gold's Gym a lot, this was before then, this was two years ago, getting ready for the other half, it's another gym. I'm living in this gym and I'm pumping, I'm pumping, I'm pumping, and finally, this huge muscle head comes up to me and he said, listen, you're 45 years old or 44 at the time, you're working so hard, you're not going to get what you want, just like that flat out. And I said, oh, thanks, man. He goes, want some help? And I said, sure, and he just opened a medical kit right in the middle of the gym. And this will give you an idea of my personality disorder. I walked into a stinking gym bathroom with a stranger and let him ram a needle into my shoulder filled with a completely unknown substance. And I was in.

25:34🔗 Drew That's not surprising. And now the steroids, in addition to giving you what you want in terms of your appearance, starts to have a sort of a rousing euphoric quality to it.

25:44🔗 Guest No, see, it's hard for me to put it down. I mean, you can do your laundry on my stomach and I've had an erection for 11 weeks. You know, it's all good. What's wrong with this stuff? It's all good.

25:55🔗 Drew And right, and so you can't talk about it. You won't admit it. You won't do it. So you're not only getting a dick-daddy look, but also how you feel.

26:02🔗 Guest Yeah, absolutely, absolutely. But to be honest with you, 100%, because for some reason I'm doing that with you, it's more the way I look.

26:10🔗 Drew More the way you look.

26:11🔗 Guest Yeah, because I chain smoke. I'm not healthy.

26:12🔗 Drew But I would bet that the mania started becoming more prominent around then, because the steroids really set off the manias. And by the way, you like that. Manic, because if you're bipolar, you like being a little manic.

26:22🔗 Guest When I'm manic in a proper, well, not a proper sense, when I'm manic in a good way, when it is, you know, I'm at the typewriter and I've banged out a show that I think is really good on paper and then gone upstairs and learned a song on the piano and, you know, taking my kids to Knott's Berry Farm, I think life is wonderful all the time, but then every third day I need to sleep again.

26:44🔗 Drew Remember when you ran away.

26:46🔗 Yeah.

26:47🔗 Guest You know, but I mean, I hate to say something, cause I am not a doctor and I know you need your liver enzymes checked and your kidneys checked, there's all sorts of possible side effects, but I like the shape I'm in and I like the way I feel.

26:59🔗 Drew You still doing it?

27:01🔗 Guest Not at the moment, but I will again.

27:02🔗 Drew Oh, we gotta be really, really, really careful in terms of your addiction, cause it massages that center. Talk to your sponsor.

27:10🔗 Guest No, I believe that to be true. You know why I can't talk to my sponsor? Well, I'll tell you the truth. Remember I showed you last night, my sobriety date is tattooed on my arm? Yeah, yeah.

27:18🔗 Drew They'll make you change it.

27:19🔗 Guest Well, steroids are considered a mood altering drug. They'll make me change it, and I don't want to change it.

27:23🔗 Drew How are we gonna do that?

27:24🔗 Guest I want to make it.

27:25🔗 Guest How are we gonna deal with that?

27:26🔗 Guest Well, let's figure it out, man.

27:27🔗 Drew Cause I need to be huge. Are there physicians that can make it? In other words, can you follow somebody's direction?

27:33🔗 Guest You'll love this, doc. So my steroids, like the windstraw, has a picture of a horse on it.

27:39🔗 Drew Yeah, I know that's a horse.

27:40🔗 Guest And it says veterinarian on the top. So my steroids are for Mexican horses. So I go to the real doctor, doctor, and I said, listen, man, I want to be on steroids, and I've got this stuff for Mexican horses. Do you have anything better? And he said, no.

27:54🔗 Drew Better.

27:55🔗 Guest Yeah. He said, no. And I said, what do you mean? And he said, I'll give you a testosterone patch if you're having a problem maintaining an erection. Are you having a problem maintaining an erection? No. He said, well, if you shoot that stuff with the horse on the label, you'll be able to pull a plow through a field all day long, and that's what you're after. So I stuck with the Mexican veterinarian stuff.

28:13🔗 Drew But then, after a while, you get a softening problem.

28:17🔗 Guest In what area?

28:18🔗 Drew You should know. I've treated steroid users who have permanent erectile dysfunction.

28:25🔗 Guest You know, I've read that. I've read that a lot.

28:26🔗 Drew Yeah.

28:27🔗 Guest But that would not, I got to tell you what, something interesting, that would not wreck my life. I like sex almost more than anything in the whole wide world.

28:35🔗 Drew Right?

28:36🔗 Guest My wife does not.

28:38🔗 Drew Right.

28:38🔗 Guest She'll do it.

28:39🔗 Drew It would help your relationship.

28:40🔗 Guest We do. Dude, if I didn't want to have sex with her and everybody else, life would be a dream.

28:47🔗 Drew All right. Let's talk to Dylan. It's 24. Dylan, what's going on?

28:52🔗 Guest Hi. I just wanted to say you guys have an awesome show going on. It totally normalizes things for the rest of us out here.

28:58🔗 Guest That's what I'm here for.

29:01🔗 Guest But I know I have a serious problem. Okay. I used to be a dancer for two months. Before that, I was an addiction counselor at a prison. Now, I became a porn star.

29:11🔗 Drew I've been coming. So you're back in your disease.

29:17🔗 Guest What do you mean?

29:17🔗 No, I didn't have a disease.

29:19🔗 Guest I was a counselor.

29:20🔗 Guest Are you calling from Las Vegas by any chance? Do I know you?

29:22🔗 No, no, no, no, no.

29:24🔗 Guest What's the porn star name?

29:25🔗 Guest No, I have it. I meet her on Halloween.

29:27🔗 Drew What's that Anderson?

29:28🔗 What's the porn star name?

29:29🔗 Guest I just started doing this. I'm like two months fresh.

29:33🔗 Drew So you've not been released yet.

29:34🔗 Guest My whole thing is, I think it's not so much as it's fun.

29:38🔗 Guest It's the business aspect of it.

29:40🔗 Guest It's good money.

29:40🔗 Guest It's fast.

29:41🔗 Guest It's quick. And to explain that to my boyfriend of seven years, whom I also have a two year old with, he's not liking it. He doesn't understand it. And he doesn't want to hear me say it's just work.

29:54🔗 Drew If you were talking to one of your clients at the jail or wherever who had started this going down this path, what would you tell her?

30:04🔗 Guest What would I tell somebody else in my shoes?

30:06🔗 Guest Yes, if a girl was about to be released from prison and needed guidance in what to do with her life, what would you tell her to do? And where on that list would porn star fall?

30:16🔗 Drew And if she had a great idea of becoming a porn star as we were making a living, what would you tell her?

30:22🔗 Guest Well, only because I've seen behind the scenes and everything. Go for it. It's not as bad as it looks. It really isn't. It's so fake and phony and scripted and just thrown together in an hour.

30:37🔗 Guest I don't mean to disagree with you, but I've been in showbiz my whole life and I know that Industrial Light and Magic can do some pretty amazing stuff, but they can't do that. Now, and also, and I was just talking to my wife about this the other day, Dylan, that the porno that I have seen, I just recently saw some Gretchen Bonaduce pornography in our house, so I don't really see it. But I saw some at somebody's office and it seems to have gotten not only dirtier but dangerous. It seems at least one girl and three men involved simultaneously. Isn't that painful, let alone degrading?

31:12🔗 Guest I have a question. What are you going to tell your child about this?

31:20🔗 Guest The way I kind of see it is, like, I mean, it's not going to be a lifestyle for me. This is just temporary right now because I have a house that's an escrow and I want to, like, get all the clothing costs together and get us back on our feet, essentially, because my son's dad doesn't work right now. And so I want to be able to...

31:38🔗 Drew Let me just stop you. Dylan, you're living in La La Land. You're rationalizing everything. You've got it all figured out. You are a thousand years, a thousand miles away from what's going on emotionally with you. This is who you are. And you're going to hide it from your child as he or she grows up because you're ashamed of it, because you know it's not a good thing to do. You certainly wouldn't want your child doing this. So you have all kinds of feelings about this that you're just not examining. I've treated lots of people in this industry. It's not out of health that people go and do this. It's boundary issues always. It's addiction usually. And it's very hard to get out of. And when you do, there's a lot of baggage that comes with it. I'm not saying 100%. I mean, we've had Kristy Canyon on this show a few times and she seems like she's doing okay with this stuff.

32:26🔗 Guest I've met a couple of porn stars in Las Vegas and they seem nice.

32:30🔗 Drew Well, they're always nice. And the nicest is not, and Chris Dillon sounds nice, but the vast, vast majority are doing it. It's an acting out and it has very serious emotional consequences long term.

32:42🔗 Guest Is it to hurt someone? I asked my brother one time, I'll give you an idea.

32:45🔗 Drew I heard it's to hurt herself.

32:46🔗 Guest It's not to hurt her father. It's not getting back at someone.

32:48🔗 Guest No, no, no. My family is fine. I mean, everything honestly, my whole life is fine. Everything's been fine.

32:55🔗 Guest You know what? Dillon, I don't mean to be cruel to you. I promise you I don't. I just am concerned if I were to be here in 10 years, would you do me a favor and call me back right after somebody shows one of your movies to your 13 year old daughter or son?

33:11🔗 Drew Worse yet.

33:14🔗 Guest My son's going to freak.

33:15🔗 Caller Oh my God.

33:16🔗 Guest Yes, he is.

33:17🔗 Drew He's not going to. He's going to more than freak. It's not going to be. It's not going to be. Oh my God. He is going to be devastated.

33:21🔗 Guest Yeah, he's going to be. That's my mother.

33:24🔗 Drew He's going to be devastated.

33:25🔗 Guest Does your mother know the kind of work that you do? My mom doesn't know.

33:31🔗 Drew Why not? It's no big deal. What's the big deal? It's just for money.

33:34🔗 Guest I also do some modeling and stuff.

33:36🔗 Drew It's no big deal. Just a little porn. What's the big deal?

33:39🔗 Guest Come on.

33:41🔗 Drew We're not enlightened enough.

33:42🔗 Guest Honestly, at the same time, if I do decide to tell them, which it's coming out more and more because before I didn't want to tell my boyfriend, and now I have to tell him.

33:52🔗 Drew How would you feel if he were doing pornography?

33:55🔗 Guest That's what I told him. I said if you were doing it, I would not be freaking out because I know what it's about now. You can set your own limitations. There are a million things that I will not do. I only want to do a couple of things. I don't do interracial, 10-guy gangbangs and stuff like that.

34:14🔗 Guest A racist porn star, right on, nice call.

34:17🔗 Drew Well done. The fact that you're putting the boundaries in such bizarre places and not seeing...

34:21🔗 Guest It's so far out there.

34:22🔗 Drew Yeah, you're not really seeing things. Enjoy, I'm happy you're happy right now.

34:27🔗 Guest Yeah, and you know what she sounds happy like now? It's gonna crash.

34:29🔗 Drew By the way, I have talked to prostitutes that sound like this, too. Oh, it's fun, it's no big deal, and then all of a sudden it becomes not fun, and then all of a sudden the real emotions begin to emerge.

34:37🔗 Guest I knew a prostitute and she had a house in Miami and a house in Las Vegas and seemed very normal and was well-spoken, and I thought, what a reasonable thing for this. She should be able to sell what she has every right to give away.

34:51🔗 Drew Yes, but in reality there's a huge emotional cost. It's huge. And unfortunately, because those people are very deep in denial, I mean, you've been in denial, you know how it works. They do. And it's working for you for a while. It works for them for that period of time, just the way a drug works. It's working great.

35:08🔗 Guest And that day comes along where it stops working.

35:10🔗 Drew And unfortunately, the rest of us buy the BS of, this is making me happy, it's just for money, just so I can have my house in Miami. It is not the truth. It's not. It may be for 1% of them, maybe. But 99%, it really is a huge deal. It's just like addiction.

35:27🔗 Guest Do you feel like everybody has been traumatized because...

35:30🔗 Drew Yes, I do, because that's all I do on the radio in real life, that's all I deal with. No, I don't think everybody does, but I certainly feel like it sometimes.

35:37🔗 Guest Because it seems like everybody has had some kind of trauma or has some kind of problems.

35:42🔗 Drew All right, let's go to something. If we're getting to that point, let's do something a little bit more upbeat. All right. We're going to play Germany or Florida. Danny and I played this last night. Do we have a theme song Anderson?

35:53🔗 Caller Germany or Florida? Germany or Florida? Germany or Florida?

36:06🔗 Drew It's a game where the callers give us the sort of macabre, bizarre story and we tell them one of the two places where those kinds of things happen. Did this happen in Germany or Florida?

36:16🔗 Caller Oh, no problem.

36:16🔗 Drew So here's Brian who's 41.

36:19🔗 Caller Brian.

36:20🔗 Guest So I'm in my meter hosing.

36:23🔗 Caller All right, Brian, what do you got?

36:23🔗 My meter hosing here.

36:25🔗 Drew Our callers are shrewd though. They shroud it in all kinds of things.

36:29🔗 Guest I'm ready to bring it on.

36:30🔗 Drew Because it's not going to happen in Shreveport. It only happens in Germany or Florida.

36:33🔗 Guest Florida.

36:34🔗 Drew All right, here we go.

36:34🔗 That's right. By the way, I used to listen to you a lot on the radio, Danny, so...

36:39🔗 Guest Oh, thank you very much.

36:40🔗 My sister actually used to go to school with you in high school, but that's a whole other thing.

36:44🔗 Guest Well, please apologize. Just do it.

36:46🔗 Drew But this is that weird little high school you were talking about last night.

36:48🔗 Guest Was this Cal Prep?

36:49🔗 Of course. Where else?

36:51🔗 Guest Oh, wow, with Michael and all those weirdos?

36:53🔗 Yep.

36:54🔗 Drew Well, we decided it was Christian Brando... Christian Brando, Michael Jackson and me. That effed up Danny for good. That was it.

37:00🔗 Guest It was. I blame Brando. All right, so what can we do for you?

37:04🔗 Okay. Here it is. A man on welfare sued the welfare agency for not paying for his plane ticket to Thailand. He and his lawyer argued that the welfare agency promises to pay for life's basic needs and necessities. They argued that sex is one such basic need, and the man's quote girlfriend lives in Thailand. Therefore, the government should pay for his plane ticket. He lost the case, unfortunately.

37:31🔗 Drew Germany or Florida?

37:33🔗 Guest You got your, you got, I think I know, yeah. I'm going to go Florida. I'm going to say Florida as well.

37:37🔗 Drew Tell me why, tell me why.

37:38🔗 Guest I'm going to say Florida because I don't think the legal system is so ridiculous anywhere else in the world.

37:42🔗 Drew I agree with that. However, I don't think our welfare system really agrees to pay for the basic needs yet. We're just sort of paying for minimal needs at this point in time. And I don't think you can.

37:53🔗 Guest But the way I have sex, it's a minimal need.

37:55🔗 Drew I don't think you can make this case in Florida. You might be able to, but I'm going to Germany.

37:58🔗 Guest You're going to Germany?

37:58🔗 Drew Well. And Florida, you had Rich in Florida because? Yes, Florida. Because, and also by the Thailand, girlfriends in Thailand is a little bit far from Florida too, is the other thing. All right, what is it, Brian?

38:08🔗 You're the expert, Dr. Drew. It is Germany.

38:13🔗 Drew That's what I'm saying. Brian, good call. Very good. All right, buddy, take care.

38:18🔗 Caller Yeah. I want to tell you, I'm probably your longest listening caller to the show. I've been listening, believe it or not, since I was 21. That is 20 years. That was, if I remember right, that was just like a month or two after your show started.

38:34🔗 Drew It was about, actually, we started, I remember the New Year's Eve 1984 during the show. If you look back on your calendar, you'll see, we used to only do it on Sunday nights, and you'll see that New Year's Eve 1984 was a Sunday night.

38:46🔗 Guest I'm just trying to think of what cardboard box I was in 1984, New Year's Eve.

38:51🔗 Drew And what was your favorite guest on the show, Brian, after all these years?

38:55🔗 Caller Oh, Mike, well, David Alan Greer and Tom Arnold. Well, great Holocaust phone call.

39:02🔗 Drew Yes, that was good. And so I was talking to somebody at night that one of my most onerous nights was probably around the time you started listening, we had Nina Hagen and Angeline at the same time.

39:12🔗 Caller Nice night.

39:13🔗 Guest Nice night.

39:14🔗 Drew You're like, easy. And now you can add Danny Bonaduce to your list of favorites, all right?

39:20🔗 Caller All right. Oh, hey, one more thing I just thought of. I have a theory to your question about why people who are young and screwed up breed more than others.

39:31🔗 Drew Yeah. Go.

39:32🔗 Caller Okay. Here it is. It has to do with evolutionary theory. The idea is that if you are well put together, you can afford to have relatively few number of children, put all your resources in them and make them grow up well. But if you're not well put together, you can't provide for your children well and you can't raise them well. So your best strategy, make lots of them.

39:53🔗 Drew Make lots and do it quickly before you do something screwy and die, right?

39:57🔗 Caller Right, exactly, right.

39:58🔗 Drew I think you're right. That's the only thing I can figure it too. So thanks, Brian. I appreciate that.

40:04🔗 Guest You got Germany. You have no idea how competitive I am and I can't stand that.

40:08🔗 Drew I want no more game, no more competition. No more competition.

40:12🔗 Caller Laughing time is over.

40:13🔗 Drew My kid's birthday is Friday and I'm going to spend the entire day at Knott's Berry Farm.

40:18🔗 Guest When was the last time you were at Knott's?

40:20🔗 Drew About last year.

40:21🔗 Guest We go like all the time.

40:23🔗 Guest Do you?

40:23🔗 Guest Gretchen and I and the kids go all the time.

40:25🔗 Drew They like little camp Snoopy.

40:26🔗 Guest Yeah, they do. And we stayed at a hotel there and they brought in Snoopy to the hotel. It was very fun.

40:31🔗 Guest Yeah, there's a Snoopy room and it's like nothing. You pay a couple extra bucks and there's nothing in it. You go, well, this sucks. And then there's a bang on the door and Snoopy walks in.

40:38🔗 Drew Is that the park?

40:39🔗 Caller It's at the hotel right there.

40:41🔗 Guest At the park.

40:41🔗 Guest No, we go several times a year.

40:43🔗 Drew My kids are getting to the age where they're into roller coasters now, so they go to trial of the new roller coaster stuff. I bet you like roller coasters.

40:49🔗 Guest I love roller coasters.

40:50🔗 Guest That's part of what's that addict thing.

40:52🔗 Drew So Gretchen, I'm telling you. All right, the phone number here is 1-800-LOVE-191. Danny Bonaduce, Breaking Bonaduce. Go to vh1.com, vote for him for Big in 105 Awards. Gretchen is with us for another segment, maybe?

41:03🔗 Guest Oh, I would love that. Thank you.

41:05🔗 Drew So we'll have her here in that segment, too. So any questions for her or Danny, please call in. We'll be right back. Loveline, Danny Bonaduce, I'm Dr. Drew, and she is his wife Gretchen. The phone number here is 1-800-LOVE, beg your pardon, 1-800-LOVE-191. Let's get right back to the callers. Here's Nestor, he's 18.

41:28🔗 Guest Hi Nestor.

41:28🔗 Oh, they can't hear us.

41:30🔗 Drew No, we hear you. You're on the air now.

41:32🔗 Oh, yes, hello?

41:34🔗 Drew What's up?

41:35🔗 Hi, I'm Nestor.

41:37🔗 Drew Yeah.

41:37🔗 Hi Nestor.

41:38🔗 Yes, you are.

41:41🔗 Guest Nestor, you have like, I mean, it's not my show, but you have like a second to get it together. Here we go.

41:45🔗 Caller Let's go.

41:47🔗 Okay, well, I've been with my girlfriend for a year and eight months now. And when we first started having sex, when I would suck on her nipples, it would, she would like it very much. This has got to be the same guy.

42:01🔗 Guest But now, but I'm laying there on my bed and I wake up and she's licking on my nipples.

42:07🔗 Drew This is the same guy, right?

42:08🔗 Guest Wait, wasn't somebody licking on your nipples last night?

42:11🔗 Drew It's the same guy.

42:13🔗 Guest Weren't you a big nipple nipper last night?

42:17🔗 Guest Wasn't it like your mother-in-law, something like that?

42:21🔗 No, I'm a different guy.

42:26🔗 Guest I'm an entirely different guy.

42:28🔗 Caller Totally different guy, Nestor.

42:29🔗 Guest Me too.

42:30🔗 Drew All right, here's Michelle. Who's 29.

42:31🔗 Guest Hi, Michelle.

42:34🔗 Drew What's up, Michelle?

42:36🔗 Guest First of all, Dr. Drew, I really love your book, Cracked.

42:40🔗 Drew Oh, thank you very much. I appreciate it. It was a... It was a... A book. I wrote a book about what it feels like to be taken care of, just trauma-surviving addicts, and it does things to you. Believe me, as a caretaker, you probably don't think about this, Danny, but as a caretaker, it gets under your skin. It does, so...

42:55🔗 Guest I should get you a copy of that book.

42:56🔗 Guest You should.

42:57🔗 Drew It's about codependency, and it's sort of, it's a metaphor for, I use one case that I make up as sort of a metaphor for coming out of codependency, really, so...

43:05🔗 Guest I better read that, then. That's good.

43:06🔗 Guest I would jump all over that.

43:08🔗 Caller It's called Cracked.

43:09🔗 Drew It's called C-R-A-C-K-E-D. Cracked. Michelle, what's going on?

43:12🔗 Guest Okay, first of all, Gretchen, well, I'm sure, Danny, you know Gretchen's a saint.

43:16🔗 Guest I do.

43:17🔗 Guest And I was just wondering, I don't know if you guys were married at the time, but I'm from Phoenix, and you, you started your radio career here, right? And I don't know if you'd want to talk about, like, what happened that...

43:30🔗 Guest Did I sleep with you?

43:31🔗 Guest I'm glad to be leaving.

43:32🔗 Guest Did I s... Oh, you mean beating up the transvestite?

43:35🔗 Guest Right.

43:36🔗 Guest No, I'm all cool with that. What's up?

43:38🔗 Guest Um, well, I was just wondering, I mean, of course, I saw on the news, and do you... I mean, is that exactly, like, what happened?

43:44🔗 Drew Like, what happened?

43:45🔗 Guest I don't know what the news said. Do you want to hear the... Do you want to hear the abbreviated story? Because it's a bit of a long story.

43:49🔗 Drew Okay, so...

43:50🔗 Guest Quick story is, I pull over on a corner, because there's a hooker working there.

43:53🔗 Drew Oh, I do remember this.

43:54🔗 Guest And I say, hop on into the car, and this little miss hooker. And she jumps in, the dome light comes on, it's not even a good transvestite. He, like, didn't even bother to shave. He's just wearing a mini skirt and fishnets, which I'm still a sucker for, by the way. Anyway, so I say, my mistake, mister, hop on out of the car. And he says, no, that was my corner. You owe me 40 bucks. I gave him another chance to get out of the car, he wouldn't take it. Went over to his side of the car, because we're dating now, and I dragged his ass out, and when I did, I realized he's big. He's a big man in fishnets and spike heels, selling his ass on the street. This is dangerous. So I hit him, and I hit him hard. And I hit him until he stopped trying to get up, because he was too big. I wasn't going to take a chance. And when I was done, that sounds so bad, I look and there are the cops. And I think, I can explain this. Really, it's just a fight.

44:43🔗 Drew How high were you at the time?

44:46🔗 Caller So high.

44:47🔗 Guest So I think I can explain this. And I think, you know what? Danny Partridge beating Cairns Vestite Hooker. I need to run. I just gotta run. So I ran, and by the way, this is my favorite part of the story. I got to listen to the high-speed pursuit I was in on the stereo of the car I was driving. That was bitchin. And then I got home, I went into my house, thought I had made it, the cops came in, beat my ass, took me to jail. I paid $4,500 to get his nose fixed and 750 hours of community service. The end.

45:15🔗 Drew And now it's time to take another break. On that lovely note, you can all chew on that. Germany only happened in Germany. Well, we're going to add, put Phoenix on our list of possible cities where bizarre things can happen. Danny Bonaduce is the guest. The none of the, how can I describe Danny? None other than, the one and only Danny Bonaduce. The show is called Breaking Bonaduce. And I guess we're going to say good night to Gretchen. Thank you so much for joining us. We appreciate it and hopefully we'll have you back again when Danny revisits us to tell us more interesting stories.

45:42🔗 Guest I would love to revisit. I'm having so much fun.

45:44🔗 Drew Please do not leave and the phone number here is 1-800-LLVE191. We're going to take a little break. Everybody, it's Loveline, 1-800-L-O-V-E-191. Danny Bonaduce is with us tonight, Breaking Bonaduce on VH1. Check out your local listing, I guess, by going to VH1 for Airtimes if you're...

46:15🔗 Guest vh1.com for Airtimes. Runs like 18 times a week, though.

46:18🔗 Drew It's quite a show.

46:20🔗 Guest New York Times called it the best show on television. Hated it, but said it was the best show on television.

46:24🔗 Drew How's that work?

46:25🔗 Guest They said, are you ready for this? I think it was either New York Times or LA. Times said, we have always wondered what the next evolution of reality TV would be. We thought it would be live executions. Instead, it's Danny Bonaduce and it's worse. I was proud.

46:41🔗 Drew You were just off the air before the mics heated up here. You were mentioning to me that online chatting, online flirting.

46:49🔗 Guest The reason I asked off the air is because it's so popular. I was sure you have done this show before and didn't want to bother you with it.

46:55🔗 Drew No, it's a forever topic.

46:56🔗 Guest Okay, fine.

46:57🔗 Drew Because men and women see it so differently and have trouble appreciating or accepting one another's point of view.

47:03🔗 Guest Okay.

47:03🔗 Drew Men, we're all about the sex. Right. Okay. And particularly the contact. I mean, we're primitive that way, right? If our territory has been marked by somebody else or whatever, we're toast. We're over the top.

47:18🔗 Guest I'm with you.

47:19🔗 Drew Anything else, provided it's not planning that, we're sort of whatever. We don't even get on the radar screen very much.

47:26🔗 Guest Okay, but see now.

47:26🔗 Drew For the most part.

47:27🔗 Guest Here's the thing. Have you ever heard of MySpace?

47:29🔗 Drew Yeah.

47:29🔗 Guest When I first got sober and I was with these sober groups of who I can't mention, as you understand, they all said, are you on MySpace? Are you on MySpace? So I got on it thinking it was a sobriety thing. And all the people who contacted me were sober, because that's who knew I was there.

47:45🔗 Drew Right.

47:45🔗 Guest Well, then it got out that I was there. And I didn't know what it was. It was a whole massive gigantic dating weird everything kind of thing, MySpace. So now I'm starting to talk to some people. And I talk to them in a very flowery way.

47:59🔗 Drew Means interacting with people that come on to your MySpace site.

48:02🔗 Guest Yes. I instead of like today, I told a girl.

48:05🔗 Drew By the way, tonight you're going to have a billion hits.

48:07🔗 Guest Oh, that's right. I didn't even think about that. Mike, a girl said, you've been in my thoughts all day. Okay. To which I replied, because of my job, I get to go to some interesting places. Some even fabulous, but in your thoughts is best. Now, why do I need to talk like that to this girl? I don't know her. Is that cheating? Is that bad?

48:28🔗 Drew I think it's if you knew that your partner would be bothered by it.

48:32🔗 Guest Gretchen would be mad.

48:33🔗 Drew If you get that feeling that this probably wouldn't be okay with my partner, then it's not okay. Then it is kind of heading towards cheating, right?

48:40🔗 Guest But on the level of things that I do that are not okay with my partner, it's pretty far down.

48:46🔗 Drew Yeah.

48:47🔗 Guest You know what I mean?

48:48🔗 Drew Your point is?

48:49🔗 Guest My point is if I'm going to get to it, it's like eighth.

48:52🔗 Drew Well, but in your condition with what you're dealing with, you actually have slippery slopes.

48:57🔗 Guest Right. I do.

48:58🔗 Drew You have to put boundaries down early.

49:00🔗 Guest Right. I have never written these words. That's meat. I've never written these words. Coffee. None of that ever.

49:05🔗 Drew But if the train starts pulling out of the station.

49:08🔗 Guest I'm on.

49:09🔗 Caller Yeah.

49:10🔗 Drew So you have to really be careful.

49:12🔗 Guest So for the best you can give me of a yes or no question for a man.

49:16🔗 Drew I would say.

49:16🔗 Guest What I'm doing because I am blatantly flirting.

49:19🔗 Drew I think women would be very bothered by that. Women are troubled by the intimacy of the contact. And on the web, it's an intimate little dialogue, you know, and they would feel hurt, diminished by it.

49:29🔗 Guest Right. See, and women don't understand that men can have great sex with chicks they hate. You know, I've had sex with chicks that bugged the hell out of me. It was awesome. Plus, you got to leave immediately.

49:43🔗 Drew Come in a great. All right. Here is Amanda's 23. Amanda, what's going on?

49:47🔗 Guest Hi, Amanda.

49:48🔗 Guest Hi. My question is about masturbation.

49:52🔗 Drew Yes, ma'am.

49:53🔗 Guest I want to know if someone can do it, if you can do it too much, to where you're desensitized during actual sex.

50:01🔗 Drew Well, if you're using a, like a high intensity vibrator or something that can desensitize you, certainly.

50:07🔗 Guest If you're using anything that says black and decker on it, probably a mistake.

50:13🔗 Um, circular sander.

50:15🔗 Guest Black and decker.

50:16🔗 Drew What are you using?

50:17🔗 Um, vibrator.

50:20🔗 Drew Yeah, so the vibrators can give you a little trouble sometimes.

50:22🔗 Guest I didn't know that for sure until the doctor answered. I didn't know that, but I thought that.

50:25🔗 Drew But, you know, even then, you can always sort of bring that into the action with you if you want, I guess, and sort of keep things kind of going that way.

50:31🔗 Guest And by the way, that will thrill your boyfriend. If your boyfriend's jealous because you're having a better time with a piece of plastic, you join that piece of plastic to your activity. He's going to be one happy young man, I promise.

50:42🔗 Drew Anything that makes you...

50:44🔗 Guest What's that?

50:45🔗 Drew I say anything that gives a man less work, he's happy.

50:47🔗 Guest Yeah, he's having to watch stuff, he's having a good time.

50:52🔗 Guest If I had a boyfriend, I probably wouldn't use it.

50:55🔗 Guest Turn on the game, make him a snack, he's a home run.

50:59🔗 Drew I guess the answer is MySpace.

51:04🔗 Guest Okay, I'll have to check it out.

51:06🔗 Drew All right, Amanda, good luck, okay?

51:07🔗 Caller Thanks.

51:08🔗 Drew All right, here's now Melanie, who's 23, Melanie.

51:11🔗 Guest Hi, Melanie.

51:11🔗 Caller Hi, how are you guys?

51:12🔗 Drew Hey, what's up? We're good.

51:14🔗 Guest I have a son, he's six years old, and he got put on Adderall four months ago for ADHD.

51:20🔗 Caller Yep. And I was wondering, I have addiction in my family and his father was an addict too, so I was just wondering if that was going to help him along to be an addict later in life.

51:30🔗 Drew That's a great question. Do you think either of you have the gene?

51:34🔗 Caller Well, his father did.

51:36🔗 Drew But I mean, you guys have to have a sense that you carry it. It doesn't really skip a generation. The disease can skip a generation, but the gene has to kind of flow through somebody. And so you would know, you'd kind of have a sense that you have momentum with substances. You have to be careful with things.

51:52🔗 Caller I don't think I do, but my son's father did.

51:56🔗 Drew Okay, so he's an addict. So yeah, so the son has about a 50% chance of getting that gene. And in my experience, this is going to be a little bit of a controversial statement from a medical standpoint, but it's certainly been my experience that when one of the parents has alcoholism or addiction, and the child has ADD or ADHD, that's the child with the gene. That's a marker for the gene in families with alcohol. Did you have ADD, ADHD when you were a kid?

52:19🔗 Guest No, I didn't.

52:20🔗 Caller I have a child with that name.

52:21🔗 Drew No, it hasn't. I will tell you though, now I've looked at this very, very carefully, because this is a population I'm rather concerned with, because here we are saying, well, here's a group of potential addicts. And I assumed that what we would see was that we created a bunch of amphetamine addicts by giving meds like Adderall and Cytomelanol, those things that are, I beg your pardon, Adderall and Ritalin and all that stuff that is basically amphetamine. If you look at the medical literature on the treatment of ADD, ADHD with stimulants, it is absolutely overwhelmingly clear that kids that are treated do better.

52:53🔗 Guest Really?

52:53🔗 Drew Even when they have the addict gene. They have less person-

52:57🔗 Guest That's nice to hear, by the way.

52:58🔗 Drew Yeah, they have less personality disorders, less antisocial problems, less behavioral disturbances, less addiction. Less severe addiction, less polysubstance addiction. All the parameters look better. Here's the caveat from my perspective. Once the developing brain is very different than the adult brain. And for whatever reason, the stimulants have a positive effect while the brain is still developing. Once though it's about 18, you want to get off the stimulants. And if you're an addict and you have ADD, this is my opinion, under no circumstances do you take a stimulant. Under no circumstances.

53:33🔗 Guest And you can see his face, you would know just that. It's a bigger no than you can hear. He's making the big no face.

53:39🔗 Drew I mean it. You can try well. Butrin and Clonidine and other things, but not the stimulants. So he's good until he's older, all right?

53:45🔗 Caller We have a depression in my family too.

53:47🔗 Guest So I just worry that I'm weighing it differently, you know, because he's doing really good in school on it.

53:52🔗 Caller But I don't want to make him an addict and make him do that in school.

53:55🔗 Drew I know it's a good thing for him to take it, believe it or not, if he's properly diagnosed and it's something to get him off of when he's around 18 and find other ways of dealing with it.

54:02🔗 Guest I'm really glad to hear that. I told you last night, I'm a huge believer in science and medical science, you know. A guy goes to school long enough and checks all the newest advances. It does me, you know, it's nice to know that there's a medicine, you know, because everybody's making such noise about giving children any kind of medication, that you're all of a sudden feeling guilty. And it's very nice to hear, this is the right thing to do for your child.

54:24🔗 Drew If you really look at the literature, it is. It's not sort of, well, it's controversial, the literature is not clear. We think it's the right thing. It's very clear.

54:32🔗 Guest It's clear.

54:32🔗 Drew It's clear. Well, these kids are much happier. They do much better. They perform better. They feel better about themselves. I mean, just everything, everything's up when they're properly diagnosed and properly.

54:41🔗 Guest But around 18, gone with that.

54:43🔗 Drew In my opinion.

54:44🔗 Guest Okay.

54:44🔗 Drew Yes, I would say. We mentioned this briefly last night. What do you think about Tom Cruise and his comments about depression?

54:51🔗 Guest My wife said it best, to be honest, and she always does. She said Tom Cruise does not believe in psychiatric medicine at all. So she decided that she should lock him in a room with me for a week on medicated and see how he comes out. See what he believes when they let him out of the room.

55:08🔗 Drew That is awesome. All right. Good plan.

55:11🔗 Guest I think it's foolish. I told you last night. I think the problem with psych drugs is not that they don't work. It's that they do. You start to feel so normal. You stop taking your medication.

55:18🔗 Drew Right. Or you start believing you're not an addict anymore or you can take steroids again.

55:23🔗 Guest Hopefully, at 46, I have been through this enough time that I'll start to feel great and know I feel great because I'm doing the right thing. Don't stop.

55:29🔗 Drew John, 43.

55:32🔗 Caller Hi. My name is John. I'm an alcoholic and an addict.

55:35🔗 Guest Hey, John.

55:36🔗 Caller Congratulations on your six months, Danny. That's huge, man.

55:39🔗 Guest Thanks, buddy. I appreciate it. How long you got?

55:41🔗 Caller I'm struggling, dude. I'm struggling. I had a... I managed to put a year together, 2002 to 2003. Right. And went out and I've been on In-N-Out, In-N-Out ever since. And I'm struggling, man. I'm struggling and I'm just hating it right now. It's...

55:56🔗 Guest How much time you got?

55:57🔗 Caller I don't... I have today. That's all I got.

56:00🔗 Guest That's good enough, man. You got today.

56:02🔗 Drew What's the drug of choice?

56:03🔗 Caller Well, what do you got? That's my drug of choice.

56:05🔗 Guest You know what? Can I tell you something, buddy? That is always my answer. When somebody says, what is your drug of choice? I say, what do you got? Which is a drag because he's not kidding. He's not kidding.

56:15🔗 Drew It is a drag.

56:16🔗 Guest If he took pills... If you gave him a bunch of blue pills right now and said, here you go, he'd just take them, he wouldn't have something worse.

56:21🔗 Drew If some kind of gym opened up a medicine kit, he would just take them.

56:25🔗 Caller But I'll tell you what, that happened to me last week, two weeks ago, I woke up in the front seat of my car with a cop in my front seat in the middle of an intersection and a blackout. It's like, man, I don't know. I'm just struggling with it.

56:34🔗 Guest I hate it when that happens.

56:35🔗 Drew Well, I'll tell you what, there is a slight difference though with the poly drug thing that you guys are describing and a poly drug with opiate predisposition. That's usually worse. When you're using the Oxycontin, the Vicodin, and the heroin and whatever you got, it ends up being actually a worse situation than just whatever you got. Because whatever you got usually means alcohol is a big part of it.

56:56🔗 Guest Huge. For me, it was. And when I say whatever you got, I mean at the pharmacy.

57:01🔗 Drew Right.

57:01🔗 Guest But I was not a big street guy.

57:03🔗 Drew Right. In the meantime, you're drinking.

57:04🔗 Guest Right. Like a fish.

57:06🔗 Drew Yeah. And so that's really, that is predominantly alcoholism as opposed to predominantly opiate or heroin addiction. And the prognosis is actually a little better.

57:15🔗 Guest So, do you go to meetings?

57:16🔗 Caller Yeah, I go to meetings all the time. I've got commitments all over town and I'm just struggling, man. I go to a meeting. I'm a double-life guy, Danny. That's what I am. I do double-life. I'm in the same industry as you are. And I'm struggling, man.

57:30🔗 Drew Dude, you got to, you need to spend some time in a sober living. You need a structure. And it's not the double-life structure. What you're tempting to do by taking...

57:38🔗 Caller I've got two children, doctor. I can't, that's like, I can't give up my job. I can't give up my life. I can't, you know, my wife's out doing her ex-wife. I've been divorced for five years. I was married for 18 years. And after that ended, I was off and running, man. And I'm struggling.

57:49🔗 Guest Well, I was telling the doctor last night that one of the most interesting things I've heard from a guy named Billy, I went to a meeting the other day. And this young man that was always there, 18, 19 years old, had hung himself because he couldn't take it anymore. And we're all moping and crying. And Billy said, the hell are you all moping and crying about? We say it every day here. People die. It's not just words. How many people here know people who died? Everybody raised their hands. So when you say, I've got two children and I can't, boys, 30 days in a sober living, 60 days in a sober living is way better than orphans.

58:23🔗 Drew Yeah. And that I can't stuff is stuff I deal with all the time. And John, I'm saying that not out of sort of a casual recommendation. Why don't you? I'm saying as a physician who's worked in the field for 10 years, it's what you have to do. And if you don't do it, you're going to keep struggling. It's not likely to work. If you want it to work, you got to spend, you got to get the structure you need. Just as if I were recommending to you a certain dose of antibiotic, the certain dose you need of a certain kind of intervention in order to remit your disease. That's just the way it goes. But best of luck. I mean, you're doing the right stuff in terms of the kinds of structure you are creating in terms of taking commitments and all that stuff. Outstanding, but not enough. That's the problem.

58:58🔗 Guest You know what it is for me? I recognize that call. I've made that call.

59:02🔗 Drew I'm sure.

59:03🔗 Guest So that's a harsh call, man. He knows, he knows.

59:05🔗 Drew He knows, I know. He doesn't want it.

59:07🔗 Guest I feel for him, man.

59:08🔗 Drew It's hard to put aside your life for a period of time to do this thing.

59:11🔗 Guest To get your life.

59:12🔗 Drew To get this thing that you should be able to handle on your own and you feel weak because you can't. And behind it all, it's, I just want to keep using. So Patrick 28, here we go. Patrick.

59:21🔗 Guest Yeah. I'm calling because I ended up sleeping with a friend of mine's wife. And I'm trying to figure out whether or not I should tell him, because she's the one that came on to me, which means maybe I'm not the only one.

59:39🔗 Drew You're gay. Yeah.

59:41🔗 Guest No.

59:43🔗 Drew Turn your radio off.

59:45🔗 Guest OK, is your question, I slept with my friend's wife and should I tell? Is that your question?

59:51🔗 Guest Yes.

59:52🔗 Guest No. Take it to your friggin grave.

59:55🔗 Drew Mandy, 16.

59:56🔗 Guest Hi.

59:57🔗 Hi.

59:59🔗 Guest How's it going, guys? We're good, thank you. Yeah, I have, I think I'm addicted to sex, but I'm not exactly sure because I've only done it with one guy. But I've, I lost my virginity last year in like late September, and I was 15 at the time.

1:00:17🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:00:19🔗 Guest And I don't know, we broke up like two or three months ago, and we still keep having sex, and we're not really on top of the whole safe sex thing, and I really want to stop, but for some reason it's too tempting.

1:00:36🔗 Drew All right. Hold on. This is not sex addiction.

1:00:38🔗 Guest It's not sex. It's him.

1:00:39🔗 Drew This is right. You're addicted to this relationship.

1:00:41🔗 Guest You're addicted to the guy.

1:00:42🔗 Drew Yeah. You can't, you can't, and by the way, man, you're 16, and this is a very sort of powerful thing for you. It's why it's not a great idea for people under 16 to get involved sexually, because it just evokes all kinds of heavy emotions that you're not really prepared to deal with, one of which is that you sort of on some level believe that because he's having sex with you, he must love you.

1:01:01🔗 Guest Right.

1:01:02🔗 Drew And the one thing you need to learn about men is no. Those are absolutely not related phenomenon. As Danny said earlier, he has sex with women he hates.

1:01:12🔗 Guest Yeah.

1:01:13🔗 Drew Or has had. I mean, I'm just saying.

1:01:15🔗 Guest Yeah, not often. Every now and again still.

1:01:17🔗 Drew Right, just seriously. But, and you have to learn that. And he likes having sex, you like having sex, he's just having sex, you're having a little more than that, I think.

1:01:28🔗 Guest Yeah, but the thing is I don't get anything out of it too.

1:01:31🔗 Drew What do you mean?

1:01:32🔗 Guest Like, at the beginning, I'll feel like I'm starting to get something, but then after a couple, I don't know, a minute or something, like, I won't, like I'll just be sitting there, I won't feel anything.

1:01:41🔗 Drew Right.

1:01:41🔗 Guest That's why I think I'm addicted.

1:01:43🔗 Drew No. No.

1:01:44🔗 Guest No, I just really like it, yeah.

1:01:46🔗 Guest You're describing the opposite of sexual relationship.

1:01:48🔗 Drew You're just, yeah, you're compulsed with this relationship, and you need to stop, and you never just, you need to get hold of yourself and stop doing it, and stop thinking this is going to work out.

1:01:56🔗 Guest Can I take a giant leap?

1:01:57🔗 Drew Absolutely.

1:01:58🔗 Guest All right. My giant leap here is that after a minute, she doesn't really feel anything. It's her body telling her what her mind you think. Yes, absolutely. Really?

1:02:04🔗 Drew Yes.

1:02:05🔗 Guest I did a good leap?

1:02:05🔗 Drew Absolutely. The sex is something that what you're feeling, or what's going on in the relationship gets expressed right in the bedroom, and what's going on here is it's empty, it's empty of relationship, empty of any kind of feeling, and when you're in that condition, you just sort of shut down. Why don't you stop? Just stop. It's okay.

1:02:25🔗 Guest Okay.

1:02:26🔗 Drew It's all right. And don't think because he wants to have sex, there's a possibility of things working out. He wants to have sex with you because he wants to have sex with you.

1:02:34🔗 Caller How old is he?

1:02:35🔗 Guest He's a little, he's about two, three months younger than me.

1:02:40🔗 Guest It makes him how old? I'm sorry, 15, 16? He's a 16 year old man.

1:02:45🔗 Guest Yeah.

1:02:45🔗 Guest Okay. I'm sorry that it doesn't necessarily mean anything special to him to have sex with you. But, and I'm sure he once had feelings for you, but do not confuse, especially, I'm 46 and let's just make you 18 for the purposes of this conversation. You would never be foolish enough to confuse feelings and sex with me. This is a 16 year old man. There is nothing, his heart is not racing for anything but the act of sex. Any girl would do. Move on. Feel better about yourself.

1:03:21🔗 Drew That's really it, Manny. And that's a harsh and difficult lesson for women to learn. They don't want to believe that about men. But for the most part, men are that way. When they are under the influence of that hormone, we call it testosterone, which is up until they're about 28 or so.

1:03:33🔗 Guest Unless you're shooting it straight into your shoulders.

1:03:36🔗 Drew Yes, then you continue to have that. You're an adolescent, an extended adolescent.

1:03:40🔗 Guest God, yes you are.

1:03:41🔗 Drew So tell me something. Now, Danny, we've had some of the Brady Bunch people on the show over the years.

1:03:45🔗 Guest Unfortunately.

1:03:46🔗 Drew And we've got lots of stories about, what's her name? What was it?

1:03:51🔗 Guest Oh no, Cory McCormick.

1:03:52🔗 Drew No, you had Florence Henderson, right?

1:03:54🔗 Guest No, that was them.

1:03:54🔗 Drew Florence Henderson.

1:03:55🔗 Guest We had Shirley Jones.

1:03:56🔗 Drew Shirley Jones. Do you have any Shirley Jones stories to share with them?

1:03:59🔗 Guest I have no Shirley Jones stories. I think Ruben touched me once, which might be, I'm a trauma survivor. Really? No.

1:04:06🔗 Caller I've never heard that one. Wow.

1:04:08🔗 Guest No, you know what? We were, the Brady Bunch was like this real kind of family. I think they still get together and have like Brady barbecues.

1:04:16🔗 Guest Do they really?

1:04:17🔗 Guest Yeah. Like the Partridge family couldn't have scattered fast enough.

1:04:20🔗 Guest Oh, really?

1:04:20🔗 Guest You guys are canceled.

1:04:21🔗 Caller Okay, bye.

1:04:22🔗 Drew No one got along or?

1:04:24🔗 Guest We didn't get along, not get along. We're such different ages. Like everybody would ask me, what's David Cassidy really like? And I'd go, well, I was 10 and he was 20. There's laws against people hanging out like that.

1:04:34🔗 Drew Right.

1:04:34🔗 Guest You know, I don't know anything about David Cassidy. So yeah, we just scattered. So I don't know anything about any of them.

1:04:39🔗 Drew And there was no longer any relationship, no, no contact, no nothing.

1:04:43🔗 Guest Every now and again, I get a call. I got a call. I did a show called Dan Deutsch. Is that right?

1:04:47🔗 Drew Donny Deutsch.

1:04:47🔗 Guest Donny Deutsch. And I'm on it. He goes, we have a surprise for you. And it was Shirley Jones was on the phone. And I said, oh, Shirley, how are you? And she goes, I am so ashamed of you. And I said, what? She goes, that television show is awful. How could you do it? I'm ashamed to even admit I know you and Chiago.

1:05:05🔗 Drew No. How old is she now?

1:05:09🔗 Guest 70 maybe.

1:05:10🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:05:12🔗 Guest She's married to Marty Engels. She's gotta be a bit crazy anyway.

1:05:15🔗 Drew That's what a weird thing for her to say.

1:05:18🔗 Guest But I mean, it is, you know, now that it's gotten all this press is like the realest show on TV and, you know, today's paper said the Danny Bonaduce show has taken the Osbournes to unspeakable new heights. You know, when you get that kind of press and everything, everything's okay, but if you look back on it before everybody talked about how real it was and how interesting, it was just shameful. It was just shameful behavior caught on television.

1:05:43🔗 Drew Well, do you, you know, we haven't seen the full season. Do you get better on, I mean, you do. You try to get better and stuff. You're getting treatment and things. I mean, obviously they filmed that.

1:05:51🔗 Guest I try and get better.

1:05:54🔗 Drew Because that, that to me, I mean, for instance, the Osbournes, you don't see them getting better. You just see their, their stuff going on. And at least in yours, it's about the evolution.

1:06:02🔗 Guest Well, I certainly hope so. Although I was kind of a jerk at a meeting with VH1 the other day, they wanted to have some like big corporate meeting with me and I was late and I was on my motorcycle. And when you're late on a bike, you take some chances with your life. So my heart was racing when I got to the meeting. I said, all right, what the hell is all this about? And you can see the way it's sink back and go, oh, my God, he's still a nut. And they said, this season's all about hope, Danny. If we're going to do another season, I want it to be about hope. And they didn't agree to do another season yet. If we do.

1:06:31🔗 Drew This is your Oprah season.

1:06:33🔗 Guest They said we want it to be about hope. And I said, oh, that's great. Hey, I forget. Do you have that picture of hope on you? I forget what it looks like.

1:06:39🔗 Drew It looks like Shirley Jones.

1:06:41🔗 Guest Who's got that picture of hope on them? So I don't know if we do a second season. And I have no idea what it will be.

1:06:46🔗 Drew Phone number here, 1-800-LOVE-191. It's Loveline. Give us a call. Danny Bonaduce. The show is breaking Bonaduce, broken by the new season two. Also go on vh1.com. Check out Airtimes and vote for Danny in the big, in 105 awards. We got to show him some love from the Loveline listening audience.

1:07:04🔗 Guest That's cool.

1:07:05🔗 Drew We're gonna take a little break and be right back.

1:07:18🔗 Guest This is Loveline.

1:07:22🔗 Drew Loveline, I'm Dr. Drew, Danny Bonaduce, and here with me. Danny, the engineer, Ms. Michelle, was just asking about how the show got going, how it became Breaking Bonaduce, and where it started.

1:07:33🔗 Guest I changed the name from Rehab. I called, I got three...

1:07:36🔗 Drew Not only the names, but you had told me that the original concept for the show was quite different than what it ended up being.

1:07:41🔗 Guest The original name was not even that. I called from Rehab and said, we gotta call it Breaking Bonaduce.

1:07:46🔗 Caller I called from Rehab.

1:07:47🔗 Guest What happened was we sold this cute little dinner party show. I got the idea, the newspaper said, or some rag said, Mick Jagger pulled up in his Mercedes. And I thought to myself...

1:07:56🔗 Drew For dinner.

1:07:57🔗 Guest Who the hell taught Mick Jagger to drive? I never thought the guy could, could he change a tire? Can he play Pictionary? Let's invite him over for dinner.

1:08:04🔗 Drew Could he drive up next to me at a stop sign?

1:08:06🔗 Guest So I thought and my wife thought, let's have these rock stars over for dinner. We'll do potluck, we'll play Pictionary, Marilyn Manson will tell my kid a bedtime story. It'll all be so much fun. And so the first day of filming, they were just filming my house. There was no one there. And I came in just wasted. And some cameraman said something I didn't like and I just tagged them. And they all shut down and said, all right, what do we do? He's a maniac. And I think the general consensus was, all right, let's do a documentary, essentially called What Will Danny Kill and Eat?

1:08:35🔗 Drew Did they know they were doing that at that point? Or did they just say, just keep filming?

1:08:39🔗 Guest No, neither. They shut down and went home. Everybody went home because there were legal issues. This was a big drag.

1:08:44🔗 Drew That you hit, you actually, you actually, yeah.

1:08:46🔗 Guest And they, look, a huge guy, I didn't hurt him at all, and he stayed on the show, a super nice guy, super nice guy, couldn't apologize more, and he was fine with me. I didn't hurt him at all, it was kind of bugged me, really. But anyway, so they shut down the show twice. They shut down the show the first time and said, he's a maniac, what do we do? And then they said, well, we're involved with him, let's shoot him and let's get him in therapy. So they really tried to help. Then things got worse and they came up to me and they said, we're pulling the plug on the show. And I said, why? And they said, because we believe you're dying. And I said, yeah. And they said, well, we can't film that. And I said, why? That would be huge. You know, you get a bean lister to die right on camera. You know, Nicky Sixx on Behind the Music, Nicky Sixx one time said the greatest line. And that's when I woke up and the needle was still in my arm. I would kick his ass by actually dying. And they didn't want to shoot it. And I still think they're punks. I think they should have shot it. Instead they put me in rehab.

1:09:46🔗 Drew Oh, you think they should have just let you keep going? Let me go.

1:09:48🔗 Guest Absolutely.

1:09:50🔗 Drew Well, how did they get you into rehab?

1:09:53🔗 Guest They pulled the show.

1:09:54🔗 Drew Oh, I see. We're not going to continue shooting unless you go to treatment.

1:09:57🔗 Guest This is all dead. It's all done. It's all over. I'd already put my radio job in jeopardy. I really had very few. Yeah, it's funny because I mentioned this to you last night. When you're crazy, you're not crazy 360 degrees. You're crazy over there to the left a little bit, and the rest is all normal. I knew I'm in big trouble. I need this show. I need it to be a success. I need to get my radio job back or a new radio job. So I went to rehab and hopefully straightened out. But that's how it became Breaking Bonavici.

1:10:23🔗 Drew Very interesting. See, Michelle?

1:10:25🔗 Guest Does that answer your question, Michelle?

1:10:28🔗 Drew Here's a follow-on question of that. It's Marianas29.

1:10:30🔗 Guest Hi, Marianne.

1:10:31🔗 Guest Hi, how are you?

1:10:33🔗 Guest We're good. What's up?

1:10:35🔗 Guest First of all, I just want to say, I love you. When you left your morning show, my sister and I stopped listening because we used to wake up in the morning and call each other at all your crazy comments and stories.

1:10:45🔗 Guest So thank you.

1:10:47🔗 Drew You couldn't be talking about Danny Bonaduce. Not crazy comments, Danny?

1:10:50🔗 Guest Crazy comments. I cannot appreciate more that you don't listen anymore. Thank you very much.

1:10:55🔗 Guest And my question was, you know, what's next for you? I mean, I know that you've, you've, it's been kind of a roller coaster ride and I can sit, I can sit on the back of your family because I've, I've, I live in a family of, of a lot of people who suffer from substance abuse. And I actually lost my brother two years ago to it. So I can understand where they're coming from. But I also see your side of it as the person that's living it. I think it's amazing what you're doing, you know, that you're doing these radio shows. And I think it opens people's eyes to what substance abuse is. And I think, I just think it's amazing, but what's next for you, you know, I thought you've got the show.

1:11:35🔗 Drew But I think I got to get you in touch with the National Depressive and Manic Depressive Association.

1:11:39🔗 Guest You know, you'd be going out and do some talks. Yeah, I will tell you, I don't. This is what's most interesting about me. If you ever asked me, aside from my family, because that's an obligatory answer, what is important? I would say career and money. And I think that that's from being rich and famous at 12 and homeless at 19. And I will let homeless happen to my family. That's just never, ever going to happen. But now, for the first time ever, I don't even have a job. I'm unemployed. This is everything I'm doing right now, is this radio show. You know, I've got other things going. I'm busy. But the fact of the matter is I don't care that much. For the first time in my life, there's a real live life that does not involve work and money. Eventually, I'll have to do one to get the other. I'm okay financially right now. But right now, I've got this life that brings me, I hate to sound sappy, but somebody would say the word, it just brings me joy. The recovery. I thought it was a made up word, joy. I get the word happy. I think I get that. But joy, there's actual joy in my life. Right now, that's good enough. I don't have to pursue a new series or a sitcom or a play. There's joy in my life and that's plenty.

1:12:48🔗 Guest Congratulations. Do you think your family feel the same way? Because I know that for me, after my brother passed away, I became first angry and I blamed myself.

1:13:02🔗 Caller I hated him.

1:13:05🔗 Guest And then I got to a point where I thought, if I could help one kid get off the street and one family, then him dying, it's not justified. But at least I know that what I learned can help another family.

1:13:23🔗 Guest Did you do it?

1:13:24🔗 And I did.

1:13:25🔗 Guest And I do it every day.

1:13:26🔗 Guest God bless you.

1:13:27🔗 Guest And my mother does it every single day. And we go to homeless shelters and we drive around the streets of Compton, which is the neighborhood that we grow up in. And thank God we have been able to do that. I'm just so motivated by what you're doing. I have to congratulate you. And God bless you and your family.

1:13:49🔗 Guest You couldn't be more kind. And God bless you too. Thank you.

1:13:51🔗 Drew Hey Marianne, I'm going to be doing a thing for the Clare Foundation tomorrow night.

1:13:56🔗 Guest I know the Clare Foundation very well.

1:13:58🔗 Drew And I want to use your story if you don't mind. May I? Absolutely. All right. Thank you very much. Okay.

1:14:03🔗 Guest You know what I did? This will give you an idea of how stupid my life is. I like the Clare Foundation, right?

1:14:07🔗 Drew Yeah, it's just people in other parts of the country know it's a addiction recovery, a residential type program.

1:14:12🔗 Guest So you know what I did? I put them as my charity on a game show and gave them 100 grand.

1:14:17🔗 Caller That's great.

1:14:18🔗 Guest I know, but I didn't really have to do anything to be smarter than the kids from the Brady Bunch.

1:14:22🔗 Drew They got it? You gave them the money? Yeah.

1:14:24🔗 Guest Oh, yeah.

1:14:25🔗 Drew I'm going to bring you with me tomorrow night. Sherry, 19. I'll be a hero.

1:14:28🔗 Caller I'm bringing you benefactor.

1:14:30🔗 Drew Sherry, what's going on? You're 19.

1:14:31🔗 Caller Hi. Hi.

1:14:33🔗 I got a quick question. Well, first of all, I want to say, Danny, I never really realized who you were before, but you're hilarious.

1:14:39🔗 Guest Oh, thank you very much. I appreciate that.

1:14:41🔗 So, I'm really enjoying this.

1:14:42🔗 Drew Our callers cannot give a straight compliment.

1:14:45🔗 Caller You never meant anything.

1:14:46🔗 Drew Who the hell are you? But tonight, I enjoyed listening to you.

1:14:49🔗 I didn't know his name until tonight. I was like, who is this guy?

1:14:52🔗 Drew Have you never seen the Partridge family? She's 19.

1:14:54🔗 Yeah, but still.

1:14:56🔗 Drew TV land? You ever watch TV land? Hi. What's going on?

1:15:00🔗 I'm 19. Well, actually, kind of a weird thing. I know everything always goes back to trauma, but I've never been traumatized. But I've fantasized ever since I was like little, and I mean little, like five or six, about like getting tied up or overpowered or that type of thing. And I just recently started having sex, and my boyfriend is a very passive guy, and I really like it when he does that. And he'll do it every now and then, but I like it a lot. And it doesn't make any sense to me because I've never been traumatized.

1:15:30🔗 Drew No, no, no. That wouldn't necessarily go to trauma. Women generally have a tendency towards wanting to be, let's call it swept away. And if you add to that any kind of discomfort with your sexuality, some women get the feeling that it's okay, I can really unleash my sexuality if it's out of control, if I'm not in control of it, I can't help it, I'm tied up, it's being done to me.

1:15:55🔗 I have the most fun when I'm fighting back because it feels like I can do anything.

1:15:58🔗 Drew Right, and that's not an unhealthy thing, that's fine, but you're going to have trouble with the guys that can't oblige.

1:16:05🔗 Yeah, it's not just one. I'm relatively good girl.

1:16:09🔗 Drew No, no, I mean this guy.

1:16:10🔗 Guest How old are you?

1:16:10🔗 Drew 19.

1:16:11🔗 Guest You're 19? Yeah. Okay, we're talking, statistically speaking, you won't marry the fifth next guy, the next fifth person is going to be the guy you're going to marry. So there's four guys you're going to be asking to tie you up, and two of them are going to go, hey, what the hell are you talking about?

1:16:25🔗 Drew Yeah, and you don't have to, here's the, here's the-

1:16:28🔗 Caller No, no, no, I would never actually ask him to do that.

1:16:30🔗 Drew Why not? Why not?

1:16:33🔗 Caller I couldn't do that.

1:16:35🔗 Drew Why not?

1:16:36🔗 Caller That's dirty.

1:16:38🔗 Guest Dude, I would tie you up and steal your stereo, because that'd be funny. That just made me laugh. Tie me up, Danny, okay.

1:16:46🔗 Caller Just the stereo.

1:16:49🔗 Caller We've talked about it, like, jokingly, but I don't think you'd ever actually do it.

1:16:54🔗 Drew Sherry, this is what my advice was going to be to you, which is realize it's something you really need in order to feel satisfied in what you're doing, and it's an okay impulse. It's not an acting out. It's not a fetish. It's something you need to really sort of be freed up, and you should feel completely comfortable asking for it. Again, guys, for the most part are not just obliging. They're just delighted to do what you want them to do. He's not going to think of you differently or anything. They're all about it.

1:17:24🔗 Guest He may think of you differently. He may build a shrine to you.

1:17:27🔗 Drew Right.

1:17:27🔗 Caller Right.

1:17:29🔗 Guest Well, I guess that makes sense.

1:17:31🔗 Drew Do you orgasm during intercourse?

1:17:33🔗 Guest Yes.

1:17:34🔗 Guest Not well.

1:17:36🔗 Caller That's something else. I faked it to make him feel like he was accomplishing something.

1:17:38🔗 Drew Sherry, Sherry, Sherry.

1:17:41🔗 Guest She's faking it, don't they?

1:17:42🔗 Drew Yeah, but she needs to, she, I don't know, she, this, you need to assert yourself, will you please? It's everything about you is okay. Don't hide everything and don't make it all about him.

1:17:51🔗 Guest All right? Just flat out tell this guy, you know what I would dig? You know what I would really dig? Tie me up and play a little rough. Now, don't hurt me. Just tie me up and play a little rough.

1:17:57🔗 Drew And then make him step up a little bit. Whatever it is you need to have an orgasm, that's what he needs to do.

1:18:03🔗 Guest And if he doesn't do it, call him a bitch and he'll leave.

1:18:05🔗 Drew Again, guys are mortified to think that you're faking. That's like an insult to them. They're all about you telling them what you need to get off. That's what they want to do for you. It's whatever it is. Mary, well, within reason. Mary 26.

1:18:21🔗 Caller Hi. Hi.

1:18:22🔗 Drew Hey, Mary, what's up?

1:18:23🔗 Caller Hey, I was washing my face.

1:18:25🔗 Drew I always wash after the show. Hi.

1:18:26🔗 Caller Well, I have a little problem, and I don't know if it's a problem, if it's something that's going to pass or what.

1:18:30🔗 Caller I've been watching the show for a while.

1:18:31🔗 Caller I've been watching the show for a while.

1:18:33🔗 Caller I've been watching the show for a while.

1:18:35🔗 Caller I've been watching the show for a while. I don't know if it's a problem, if it's something that's going to pass or what. I've been married for two years, and just lately, I've been feeling very attracted to women. And whenever my husband and I watch porno and things like that, I find myself looking at the girl instead of the guy.

1:18:57🔗 Drew A lot of women do that.

1:18:57🔗 Caller I know I'm not turning lesbian. I don't know. What is it?

1:19:02🔗 Drew Hold on. There's a couple possibilities here. One is, you're just normal. That's what a lot of women do.

1:19:07🔗 Guest A lot of women.

1:19:08🔗 Drew Two, if you're sort of looking for a little chaos in your relationship, you may be sort of trying to bring in a little bit of distance in the intimacy. Some people sort of screw up their relationships unintentionally, but intentionally. But it's...

1:19:25🔗 Caller Hello?

1:19:28🔗 Caller Hello?

1:19:30🔗 Guest Awesome.

1:19:30🔗 Drew Gone here? There we go. I don't think you guys heard that, but our satellite glitched.

1:19:34🔗 Guest Just so you know, I wasn't faking that.

1:19:38🔗 Drew Yeah, our satellite glitched. All we heard was this incredibly loud noise in our ears. But you need to realize this is a normal thing, and it doesn't really mean anything probably.

1:19:48🔗 Caller But hold on. But see, like, when we're having sex, like, I still... I like sex with my husband and everything, but sometimes in order for me to orgasm, I have to, like, think of a girl sometimes.

1:20:00🔗 Guest I'm still cool.

1:20:01🔗 Drew Yeah, I don't think it necessarily means anything, not necessarily.

1:20:04🔗 Caller It's not anything like...

1:20:05🔗 Drew A lot of women think about females as sort of symbols of sexuality and things that are arousing. Men aren't exactly the most appealing things on earth.

1:20:15🔗 Caller Yeah, no kidding.

1:20:16🔗 Guest But you know what's interesting, Dr? I hang out in these certain groups, as you know, and a lot of these people are younger than I. Yes. You know, a lot of piercings, a lot of tattoos. They're young, kind of interesting, wild, free spirits, if you will. And often I will be talking to girls, and the question will come up if they are gay or not. I'll say, are you gay? And she'll say, oh, God, no. I mean, I sleep with women, but that's like super common today.

1:20:39🔗 Drew If you look at the sexual behaviors of young people, the one thing that's really climbed rather dramatically is female-female acting out.

1:20:48🔗 Guest I couldn't believe it. I mean, almost everyone I know.

1:20:50🔗 Drew Yeah, it's really gone up wildly.

1:20:51🔗 Caller Do you think I should like try it out? Or like, do I have to go away?

1:20:56🔗 Drew No, no, no, no, no, no.

1:20:57🔗 Caller Am I always going to be frustrated, you know?

1:21:00🔗 Drew Oh, now, see, if you're really thinking seriously about doing it, now, now it's a whole different thing.

1:21:04🔗 Guest See, if you were single, I would say try it.

1:21:06🔗 Drew Right, but you're married. So, anything you do outside of that relationship is going to endanger your relationship.

1:21:12🔗 Caller Oh, I know. And like, I kind of thrown out there at him, you know, but like playing around. And I know that he wouldn't go for me.

1:21:24🔗 Drew Stop it, stop, stop, stop it, stop it. Now, now you've put your call in a whole different perspective.

1:21:30🔗 Guest Here's what happens. You go do it with a girl, you're now a cheater. You bring a girl home to your husband, you're now a girl that wonders if your husband liked that girl better than you, or if you like that girl better than your husband. Either way, all sucks.

1:21:41🔗 Drew All chaos, all disaster, all threatening your marriage. Now, if you want the marriage to end, go right ahead. But if you is something you want to stay committed to.

1:21:47🔗 Guest I've never seen it, and it's a fantasy of mine. You know, it's a fantasy I think of all guys.

1:21:51🔗 Caller I've never seen it really work.

1:21:52🔗 Guest And I've never seen it work. I could not say it with a straight face, thinking I could sell it to my wife.

1:21:57🔗 Drew Well, for instance, if it worked.

1:22:00🔗 Caller I'm all about you.

1:22:01🔗 Drew Right, it just, you know it doesn't work. You know it's a disaster every time. There you go, all right. 1-800-LOVE-191 is our number. Danny Bonaduce, the one and only Danny Bonaduce, and we're gonna take yet one last break. Here we go.

1:22:31🔗 Caller This is Love Line.

1:22:32🔗 Drew Code number is 1-800-LOVE-191. Danny Bonaduce, and let's get right back to The Calls. Joey is 26. Joey?

1:22:40🔗 Guest Yes.

1:22:40🔗 Drew Hey, what's up, buddy?

1:22:42🔗 Guest How's it going? I guess, first of all, Danny, you rule.

1:22:45🔗 Guest Thanks, man. I appreciate it. Call the management, tell them I should live here.

1:22:50🔗 Guest That's right.

1:22:51🔗 Guest We missed you, Dr. Loveline.

1:22:53🔗 Guest Anyway, I'm really considering getting into a penile implant. I really don't like my size, so my question is, what are the risks?

1:23:05🔗 Drew So you mean enlargement procedure?

1:23:07🔗 Guest Right, enlargement, yes.

1:23:09🔗 Drew How are you now? How big are you now?

1:23:11🔗 Guest Well, probably you're right, I'm about four and a half or five.

1:23:18🔗 Drew About 85 percent of men are in the five to six.

1:23:21🔗 Guest Dude, that's not terrible.

1:23:23🔗 Drew Yeah, so...

1:23:25🔗 Guest I know Danny has a small one too.

1:23:27🔗 Guest Yes, I do. I guess I've been pretty open about everything. But I got to tell you, four and a half to five inches is not anything to completely scoff at. And let me ask you a question, and it's something that I've done myself and not because of size, because of speed, if you were premature ejaculation when I was growing up. There is no reason to not satisfy a woman first.

1:23:47🔗 Drew Right, orally, I mean.

1:23:49🔗 Guest Yeah, just make sure that the woman is completely satisfied before you even bother worrying about your size problems.

1:23:55🔗 Drew I have a sense too, the guys that worry about their penis size are more interested in comparing themselves to other men. And I've never seen a guy that's preoccupied about this that didn't have, more importantly, a problem about their own self-esteem and sort of your life sort of not going the way you want it to. You're not doing the work you want to do. You don't have a way of sort of feeling good about yourself. You start focusing on your penis and that becomes the whole story.

1:24:18🔗 Guest This is why you're the doctor. You say all that and I think, this guy just wants a bigger wang.

1:24:21🔗 Drew That's all I got. I've worked with the urologist that I've been, I've scrubbed in on this procedure. I've seen it done. I was doing a television show. It's still airing on Strictly Sex and Discovery Health Channel and scrubbed in on a penile enlargement procedure. This urologist says his patients are all ecstatic. What they do is they cut the tendon that attaches your penis to the pubic bone and then they have you actually carry a weight off the end of the penis and it ends up extending at about an inch. Then they peel down the skin around the penis and sew in what basically looks like a pop tart but it's cadaver tissue and then pull the skin back up again and sew it back in. So you get about another 30% or so increase in girth. So they do work. There is something that gives you about an inch of length and about 30% more girth.

1:25:05🔗 Guest How long is it between the time you can have this procedure and then you can have sex with your new giant one?

1:25:10🔗 Drew I think it's like three weeks.

1:25:11🔗 Guest It's not that long. So not worth it.

1:25:12🔗 Drew It's not that long.

1:25:13🔗 Guest Don't do it, man.

1:25:14🔗 Drew It may be longer. I forget. Of course it's longer.

1:25:17🔗 Guest That's why he's doing it.

1:25:18🔗 Drew Yeah. But Joey, the bigger issue I worry about always is that maybe your life's not going quite the way you want it to. You ought to focus more on that.

1:25:26🔗 Guest Okay.

1:25:27🔗 Drew What are you doing for a living?

1:25:29🔗 Guest Well, I'm a receptionist at a hospital. Yeah. But I think it's more of a self-esteem issue, I guess.

1:25:38🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:25:38🔗 Guest That's very antisocial and I think having a bigger wing makes me more super-white, I think.

1:25:45🔗 Drew I don't think it's going to do any of that.

1:25:46🔗 Guest Yeah, it won't, man. Because first of all, not that many people see it. I'm an exhibitionist and not that many people see it.

1:25:54🔗 Drew Where do you think it's going to somehow make you more confident? Yeah, for a little while, maybe.

1:25:58🔗 Caller Yeah, I think confidence, yes.

1:25:59🔗 Drew Yeah, but that's only short-lived. Really, you got to focus on meeting people that you want to meet, to carry, you know, sort of starting to date women that you're interested in and get up some work going that makes you feel good about yourself.

1:26:11🔗 Guest And I promise you, in the long run, maybe one or two women, because everybody can be cruel, but in the long run, you are not going to run into a string of women who care that you only have a four and a half to five inch boobs.

1:26:23🔗 Drew The only call we've had about penis size tonight even was too big.

1:26:26🔗 Guest Right, was too big. Absolutely right. Absolutely right.

1:26:29🔗 Drew Ouch is the issue here. Lacey?

1:26:32🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:26:33🔗 Drew You're 20?

1:26:34🔗 Caller Yes.

1:26:35🔗 Drew What's up?

1:26:36🔗 Caller Hi.

1:26:37🔗 Caller Okay. It's really weird. Every time I have sex, I throw up even if it matters, it's sex or whatever like my boyfriend.

1:26:44🔗 Caller I puke.

1:26:47🔗 Caller How cute? How quaint.

1:26:50🔗 Drew I puke every time I have sex. Wow. How often do you have sex?

1:26:56🔗 Caller I've only ever had sex like three times.

1:26:59🔗 Guest Could this be the world's weirdest form of bulimia?

1:27:02🔗 Drew Well, that's kind of the path I was going to go down. Do you have a tendency to purge and binge?

1:27:07🔗 Caller No.

1:27:09🔗 Drew I beg your pardon.

1:27:09🔗 Guest Sorry.

1:27:10🔗 Drew What would make you think of that? My goodness.

1:27:13🔗 Guest Don't yell at the doctor.

1:27:14🔗 Caller Way off.

1:27:15🔗 Drew Okay, Lacey. Do you have any other medical problems?

1:27:19🔗 Caller I have diabetes.

1:27:21🔗 Drew All right. You take good care of your diabetes?

1:27:26🔗 Caller Yeah. I go to the doctor, I do my pills stuff.

1:27:30🔗 Drew Your pills? So you don't take insulin?

1:27:32🔗 Caller No. I'm type 2.

1:27:34🔗 Drew Oh, really? At 20, type 2? That's kind of weird.

1:27:38🔗 Guest Can I ask a question?

1:27:39🔗 Caller Sure.

1:27:40🔗 Guest When you have sex and you vomit, do you vomit during sex?

1:27:44🔗 Caller No.

1:27:47🔗 Guest I don't mean to be rude or anything, but that would hurt my feelings.

1:27:50🔗 Caller I know.

1:27:52🔗 Caller My last question was like, wow, that sucks.

1:27:55🔗 Drew That sucks?

1:27:56🔗 Guest Yeah.

1:27:56🔗 Drew You thought he was impressed with what he did.

1:27:58🔗 Caller Wow, I did that?

1:27:59🔗 Drew It's awesome. There's something called diabetic gastroparesis, where your stomach doesn't empty normally. It's part of a generalized neuropathy associated with diabetes. Do you have numbness in your feet or your hands?

1:28:12🔗 Caller No. It's early on in diabetes. I just found out like two months ago.

1:28:16🔗 Drew All right. But you may have been around for a while, and sometimes type 2, when you don't keep it under tight control, you can get neuropathy rather early, some people. The stomach doesn't empty normally, it doesn't push the food out, so it can sit there, and any kind of funny stimulation, even just lying down, sometimes up it comes. So certainly, you're having sex, you're lying down, you're doing a Valsalva maneuver, you're bearing down.

1:28:35🔗 Guest So possibly, what if she were on top?

1:28:37🔗 Drew So I'm being on top, so things aren't right. So gravity's working on your behalf is an interesting idea. My other line of question needs to be about your sort of emotional connection with sex. Do you feel okay about it?

1:28:47🔗 Caller Well, when I was 15, the first time I ever had sex or whatever, I was raped, so.

1:28:53🔗 Drew All right.

1:28:53🔗 Guest So maybe this is a big no right there.

1:28:56🔗 Drew We'll take that as a no. And so maybe this sort of an emotional reaction, almost like a post-traumatic stress disorder associated with sexuality, you think?

1:29:04🔗 Caller I think that's what's wrong. I don't know, but I really feel bad because, like last time I ever felt like, wow, that's not cool.

1:29:14🔗 Guest I cannot help you with the trauma except to be terribly sorry for you, but I can tell you this as a guy, here's what you want to do the next time you have sex and then puke, you want to look right at the guy and go, oh my god, that never happened before. You definitely want to do that. A guy will fall for that so fast. I don't mean to be rude here, but my wife has hair extensions sewn in, and we were doing it one night like crazy.

1:29:35🔗 Drew I'm sure she loves it.

1:29:37🔗 Guest And her hair fell off, and I thought I was like a god.

1:29:41🔗 Caller I thought, yeah, did her till her hair fell out, right on.

1:29:45🔗 Guest So really, just tell the guy this never happened before, he'll think, wow, I did it till she puked, I'm like a god. I'm glad I could be of assistance, thank you.

1:29:54🔗 Drew But Lacey, you may want to get some help with this. I'm suspicious that if you're in a stable relationship, he's way over his wife now. Way to go, Danny. She's gonna kick your ass and get out of here. That if you're able to have sex without having sort of that panic and all that sort of intense feeling associated with it, if you feel stable and comfortable and your boyfriend kind of takes it easy and you let him know that you have sort of an intense emotional reaction, you're still getting over something. It's literally like almost like fear of flying. You can learn to have these experiences without evoking all this horrible feeling. It can be sort of unlearned, let's say. If you can do it, great, go ahead and do it. If you can't, that's the time to get some professional assistance with this. It's probably not going to be something that's regarded.

1:30:37🔗 Guest MD, PhD?

1:30:38🔗 Drew Either. Really? Probably more in the line of serotherapist, PhD, LCSW, that kind of thing, MFT. It's not going to be years and years of treatment. It's going to be something that just helps you unlearn.

1:30:49🔗 Guest It's going to turn out to be broccoli. That's it. The guy's going to go, dude, it's broccoli, Tony Broccoli.

1:30:54🔗 Drew Well, and also talk to your diabetologist, your doctor about the possibility that maybe of this thing called diabetic gastroparesis, something on reglan, is these medicines that can help empty your stomach more readily. Danny Bonaduce, we need yet another break. The Wall Phone, number 1-800-LOVE-191. I'm Dr. Drew and we'll be right back.

1:31:15🔗 Guest Love Line will be right back.

1:31:28🔗 Drew Danny, thank you so much for joining us.

1:31:30🔗 Guest I don't want to go.

1:31:31🔗 Drew Well, don't worry. I know we'll be seeing you again soon. Gretchen, thanks for coming in with us. I know it's painful to hear your husband talk the way he does.

1:31:38🔗 Guest I've heard it all before. I'm so used to it.

1:31:41🔗 Drew Well, it's nice to have you too, because you're part of that show. You're a big part of that show, and it's nice to hear your thoughts about it. I'm surprised that people stop you on the street too.

1:31:50🔗 Guest No, I am totally flying under the radar.

1:31:53🔗 Drew They will be. Congratulations on the success. I hope there's another season. We look forward to it. It's breaking Bonaduce. You check vh1.com for Airtimes. We've got tomorrow night's exhibit. Until then, this is Dr. Drew saying mahalo.

1:32:07🔗 Guest I know Danny has a small one too.

1:32:08🔗 Guest Yes, I do. I guess I've been pretty open about everything.

1:32:13🔗 Guest This has been Loveline. Loveline. The opinions expressed in this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or this station. The producer for Loveline is Ann Ingold. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

Episode Feedback