Sunday, July 31, 2005

1:21🔗 Yeah, whatever.

1:23🔗 Voiceover 10, 9, 8, 7, 6.

1:39🔗 Voiceover Loveline is meant for an adult audience. Loveline may contain sexually-oriented content. Sexually-oriented content. Listener discretion is advised. Listener discretion is advised. This is Loveline. With Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew.

2:02🔗 Voiceover Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. 1-800-LOVE-191 is the phone number. Dr. Drew, board-certified physician, addiction medicine specialist. Let me give out a phone number for you there, kiddies, because I'm doing this TV show, and it's real intimate, Drew. You know, we're almost in the round.

2:25🔗 Drew Have you started yet? No.

2:27🔗 Adam No. We're starting it this week, though. The audience is 280 degrees around. Maybe getting close to maybe about 300, almost a full circle. Very intimate. Very intimate. So here's the point. We only got about 80 people as opposed to the big grandstand type audience there. I wanted no audience to be honest with you, but they had to have some audience.

2:51🔗 Drew It's nice to have one.

2:51🔗 Adam It is, and I realize I want to talk to people, and people ask questions and everything.

2:57🔗 Drew You're playing to somebody there. You don't just play the camera.

2:59🔗 Adam Yeah, I just didn't want a load of Filipino tourists that are not tripping into the place. So here's the point. I need people who like me, like this kind of thing, and want to be on camera, and want to ask a question, or just hang out. But at least, it can't be between this and the prices right. You gotta get your audience. You know what this is?

3:23🔗 Drew I had to do this.

3:23🔗 Adam I remember I had to. Oh yes. This is a small acoustic set. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. I'm playing McCabe's. Yes. I need my audience. So you just call 866-546-6984, 866-546-6984, and I'll get a little message machine, and get your name in there. I think I...

3:46🔗 Drew I reshot some stuff without an audience, and I really missed it.

3:48🔗 Adam Oh really?

3:48🔗 Drew Yeah.

3:49🔗 Adam Just doing it on the stage.

3:51🔗 Drew I actually just did it right here.

3:52🔗 Adam Oh, you did Man On The Stage?

3:53🔗 Drew It's just sort of...

3:54🔗 Adam Oh, you did it in the studio...

3:55🔗 Drew .initial stuff over here.

3:56🔗 Adam Yeah.

3:56🔗 Drew And it's just like, eh, feh. It's just like, why even do it? It's not something to interact with.

4:02🔗 Adam Yeah, but speaking of feh, get a crappy audience in there.

4:05🔗 Drew Oh no.

4:06🔗 Adam And then it's feh-feh.

4:07🔗 Drew Then it's feh-feh-feh.

4:08🔗 Adam Feh-feh-feh-feh. All right, so we call that, and I think that's the audience number for Jimmy Kimmel Live, and Carson Daly Show, and that stuff too, but you'll hear my name on there when you come see it.

4:18🔗 Drew Hey, how many time have you seen me wear sandals? Look at this.

4:21🔗 Adam Drew, flip-flops, baby. Looking good. What happened to your toe?

4:26🔗 Drew Look at that.

4:27🔗 Adam Drew looks like he got clipped with a lawnmower on his big toe.

4:29🔗 Drew That's about what happened.

4:30🔗 Adam And is there anything worse than nail trauma?

4:34🔗 Drew No, that's why they use that for torture.

4:36🔗 Adam Yeah.

4:37🔗 Drew It's just, your whole body reacts.

4:39🔗 Adam Yeah. I'd rather get shot in the ass with a pellet gun than have anything happen to my big toe, and the nail especially.

4:46🔗 Drew Your pansy.

4:47🔗 Adam What happened, Drew?

4:48🔗 Drew I was running on the beach. There was a huge boulder under there.

4:51🔗 Adam Just kicked it?

4:51🔗 Drew Just pulled?

4:52🔗 Adam Just drove into it?

4:53🔗 Drew And it was immediate like, uh-oh. I didn't have a toe left.

4:57🔗 Adam Oh, you weren't wearing shoes.

4:59🔗 Drew No, I was running. It was hot. It was hot, and I was running to go get off the beach.

5:03🔗 Adam That was God telling you not to burn calories.

5:05🔗 Drew I wasn't ex-shocked. I was getting off the heat.

5:07🔗 Adam Oh, you're hustling off the beach.

5:08🔗 Drew I was like, oh, it's too hot. I'm going to get off there, running on coals, and then boom. Oh, it's a beautiful thing.

5:14🔗 Adam Now, did you dig the rock up and dispose of it?

5:17🔗 Drew No, because it was a huge boulder. Oh, really? I'd run into something that was covered under the sand, so it's ridiculous.

5:24🔗 Adam Bad times. Yeah, well, you got to sue the man. Yeah, I just realized stubbing the toe is something you remember very vividly from your childhood. Yeah. Doesn't happen so much as you get older. It's really one of the only good things about getting older is not stubbing your toe.

5:42🔗 Drew Yeah.

5:42🔗 Adam But when you do, it brings you back.

5:44🔗 Drew The other thing is you age, your tissues aren't as resilient and strong. You stub your toe in your kid, you just sort of, you just sort of, no, this toe like splits in half.

5:51🔗 Adam Yeah.

5:52🔗 Drew The whole toe breaks open.

5:53🔗 Adam Drew's got a nosebleed. Yeah. No, listen, I had one of my nephews punch me in the nuts yesterday, and the thing about getting hit in the nuts is, getting hit in the nuts is like when a guy gets hit by the pitcher at the plate. 8 out of 10, they hit the guy in the ass cheek, they hit the guy in the thigh, they catch the guy in the meaty part. No, not the pubic bone. Oh yeah, pubic bone. Yeah.

6:19🔗 Drew Anywhere near there.

6:21🔗 Adam I'm just talking about the mound.

6:23🔗 Drew I see.

6:23🔗 Adam I'm just talking about batting. It always looks bad.

6:26🔗 Drew Yeah.

6:26🔗 Adam But sometimes it hits a guy in the shoulder, the meaty part of the back, and he just jogs it off. But every once in a while, he takes one right in the face.

6:32🔗 Drew Yeah.

6:33🔗 Adam That's what this is. It's hard to tell from the pitch. It's hard to tell which one would have caused damage and which one wouldn't. But for some reason, they end up walking away. It's like hits in the NFL.

6:43🔗 Drew Yeah.

6:43🔗 Adam The ones that cause the fractures, they don't look any different.

6:46🔗 Drew It's a spectacular hit with a guy spinning over their head.

6:49🔗 Adam A guy gets up and shakes it off nine times out of ten. Then something stupid where he tears a bunch of ligaments, turns his ankle, that's nothing. That's just rolling out, no one even hit him.

6:57🔗 Drew Right.

6:58🔗 Adam Right. Okay. That's what getting hit in the nuts by your nephew is like. Guy's pounding, nephew's pounding on me, socking me, doing the novelty, dropping elbows and knees on me. But one shot catches the ball on the thigh bone and gets mashed between the five-year-old fist and the femur.

7:17🔗 Drew Oh, and you got all that prodigious sack hanging around, too.

7:19🔗 Adam Oh, it's hard, yeah.

7:20🔗 Drew It's easy to get caught in the way of any flying fist.

7:23🔗 Adam You can't, you can't miss. Oh, yeah. You can't.

7:26🔗 Drew You should wear a cup when you play with your nephews.

7:28🔗 Adam Well, I am now.

7:29🔗 Drew Okay.

7:30🔗 Adam At least over the one ball. I want just a half cup. I'm going to leave the other ball out. I don't believe in-

7:36🔗 Drew With the cups that you can buy at the sporting store, I don't think they'd handle more than one ball.

7:39🔗 Adam They will not accommodate more than one ball. Oh, I see.

7:43🔗 Drew At least the injured one now is going to be protected.

7:45🔗 Adam Yeah, I don't need a cup. I need a tumbler. I need a schooner down there. Oh, boy. That's a good thing to drink beer out of.

7:52🔗 Drew Schooner.

7:53🔗 A schooner.

7:54🔗 Adam Big glass, cold schooner. Let me tell you, drinking beer is good, but what you drink beer out of is better. Going to the ball game and drinking out of a Styrofoam sucks. But a big glass schooner.

8:09🔗 Drew That's why the Germans invented those huge steins.

8:11🔗 Adam Yeah.

8:11🔗 Drew They got into that whole thing.

8:12🔗 Adam Smart.

8:13🔗 Drew Hey, Chris Perez. Chris Perez is in the news.

8:15🔗 Adam What about engineer Chris? What happened? Did you graduate? You got accepted to something? What happened?

8:21🔗 Yeah.

8:21🔗 Adam You got laid?

8:22🔗 I got an AA, dude.

8:23🔗 Adam You got an AA. Yeah.

8:25🔗 And what else?

8:25🔗 Drew What else?

8:26🔗 Adam Tell us.

8:26🔗 Drew Oh, we can't talk about it.

8:28🔗 No, I can talk about it. I got a full-time job.

8:32🔗 Adam Oh, wait.

8:33🔗 I got a full-time job, Anderson.

8:36🔗 Adam It's ironic that his accomplishments were crapped on by Anderson's calls of turn your mic up.

8:41🔗 Thank you, Anderson. Yeah.

8:43🔗 Adam I'm sorry.

8:43🔗 I think he's just saying that, actually.

8:46🔗 Adam He could. He could be. Yeah. Yeah, go ahead.

8:49🔗 You're talking like this.

8:50🔗 Adam Yeah, okay. What happened? He's got, he's on, first off, Anderson, he's an on-air talent. He told me that many years ago.

8:57🔗 Go ahead, Chris. Yes, I am.

8:58🔗 Adam Go ahead. What's going on?

9:00🔗 I found a full-time job.

9:01🔗 Adam Doing what?

9:02🔗 I'm in the communications department at a hospital.

9:05🔗 Adam At a hospital?

9:06🔗 Drew He's going to be the guy that I call, who am I going to call now?

9:09🔗 Yeah, I will be filled in Dr. Drew's calls. Really?

9:12🔗 Adam Yes. But you, but if there's like a fecal matter in the hole on the mezzanine level, you're not going to be making those calls.

9:19🔗 Drew No, no, no.

9:19🔗 Adam I'll clean up, I'll find it.

9:20🔗 Drew It's at the desk, handles the code yellows and the code blues.

9:23🔗 Adam Did you get him that gig?

9:24🔗 No.

9:25🔗 Adam What's the difference between code blue and code yellow?

9:28🔗 Drew I'll have to use your imagination. Well, code yellow is a trauma.

9:31🔗 Adam Yellow is trauma.

9:33🔗 Drew Code blue is a cardiac arrest.

9:35🔗 Adam Oh really? What's worse?

9:37🔗 Drew It depends how bad the code yellow is.

9:39🔗 Adam What would you want?

9:40🔗 Drew I'd code yellow, because code yellow can be nothing.

9:41🔗 Adam Your toe could be code yellow?

9:43🔗 Drew No, it could have been. Really, if I had fallen and just bonked my head, code yellow.

9:48🔗 Adam All right. Code blue.

9:49🔗 So, this will be my last couple of days, but I'm going to try and stay for at least one day, but that's up to powers that be.

9:57🔗 Drew Yeah.

9:58🔗 Adam So, this is your last couple of days here on the air.

10:01🔗 Right.

10:01🔗 Adam And then you're going to the hospital?

10:04🔗 That's correct.

10:05🔗 Adam Wow.

10:05🔗 Who might be replacing you?

10:07🔗 Adam Yeah, who's going to replace you?

10:08🔗 Drew Oh, Anderson, you sound so enthusiastic about things.

10:10🔗 Adam Well, you don't replace engineers.

10:12🔗 Yeah, you don't replace me, Anderson.

10:13🔗 Adam Chris, you step up from engineer Chris.

10:15🔗 Caller You don't replace.

10:17🔗 Adam No, who is going to replace you?

10:19🔗 Oh, I don't say. I don't know.

10:20🔗 Drew Probably Michelle or.

10:21🔗 Adam All right. All right. Yeah. Anderson hates Michelle. It's I'd ask why, but he doesn't really need a reason. So it's not worth getting into it. But he loves to play that weird shut up thing every time she talks on the air. Which is horribly, horribly, horribly annoying to me. Who was that? I'm done.

10:42🔗 Drew Who was that? SpongeBob.

10:43🔗 Adam Yeah.

10:44🔗 Drew Oh, yeah.

10:44🔗 Adam All right. We will seems like.

10:47🔗 Oh, I miss you, Anderson, yelling at me.

10:49🔗 Adam He must have recorded that a few years ago when he was on the show.

10:53🔗 Yeah.

10:54🔗 Adam SpongeBob. All right.

10:55🔗 What? It was like a month ago.

10:57🔗 Adam The crazy shut up thing?

10:58🔗 It was like a month ago.

10:59🔗 Adam Yeah. But you've been playing it as it pertains to Michelle for what feels like years.

11:05🔗 Drew He has a different shut up.

11:06🔗 Adam Oh, a different shut up?

11:07🔗 Yeah, I used to play the David Hungry. That's some insane clown posse, right?

11:11🔗 Adam Play the other one. I'm used to hearing that.

11:13🔗 I want to hear all my shut ups are good.

11:15🔗 Adam Well, I like to hear the one you used to play.

11:16🔗 Shut up!

11:17🔗 That's dad.

11:18🔗 Adam Oh, that one. God damn it! Right.

11:22🔗 I think he plays dad more. Yeah.

11:24🔗 Drew Shut up.

11:25🔗 Adam Just shut up. All right. That's either Drew or Alice from The Love Between The Two Hosts.

11:29🔗 Drew Lesbian.

11:29🔗 Adam All right. That's the way it works. All right. Anderson hates Michelle. Here's the whole thing. I have no idea why engineer Anderson hates engineer Michelle and I don't care. That's the whole thing. I know Drew feels the same way. He has no idea and doesn't care either. Just one of those things you have to endure. Now, I really don't know, but I really don't care.

11:53🔗 Do you like me, dude?

11:54🔗 Drew No, I love you, Chris. All right.

11:55🔗 I love you too.

11:56🔗 Adam All right. Chris, you'll be missed.

11:59🔗 Thank you. I'm going to try and stay.

12:01🔗 Drew Please. He's mastered my technique. It's fantastic.

12:06🔗 Adam Two years is sitting next to the master.

12:09🔗 I learned from the master.

12:10🔗 Adam Well, he's the grandfather of Mike Punchers.

12:13🔗 Drew Oh my gosh.

12:14🔗 Adam Dr. Drew. There's whole-

12:15🔗 Drew Chris, I'm so impressed. He was well-delivered. I didn't know he'd been practicing.

12:18🔗 Adam He socked the mic. I have so much passion. Right on the key syllable too, so you lost it. Awesome. All right. Well, you'll be missed. Mazel Tov, congratulations on that AA degree. Thank you. Well-earned. And I know I made a lot of fun of you, but I was just trying to motivate you. And evidently, it's worked.

12:38🔗 Drew And they got him a job too.

12:39🔗 Adam Did you get him a job?

12:40🔗 Drew No, I didn't. He got it himself.

12:42🔗 Adam How did he get that job?

12:43🔗 Drew He went out there and pounded the pavements.

12:45🔗 Adam Really?

12:47🔗 Drew This kid's got it out of you. You said it all along.

12:49🔗 Adam All right.

12:50🔗 Drew Internet did.

12:51🔗 Adam All right.

12:52🔗 Drew He'll be moving out of mom's house three or four years.

12:54🔗 Adam Four or five years.

12:55🔗 Drew No problem.

12:56🔗 Adam Over under 41. He's going to get trucks and moving out of mom's house. It's going to get laid. It's going to be awesome.

13:02🔗 Drew Got benefits too.

13:04🔗 Adam The job? Yeah. Free medical. If it happens on the job. Nick?

13:10🔗 Yeah.

13:12🔗 Adam Seventeen?

13:13🔗 Yes.

13:14🔗 Adam What's up?

13:15🔗 Caller I'm fairly disappointed about Anderson leaving, but we got to get down to business.

13:19🔗 Drew Anderson's not leaving. Anderson is not leaving, to be clear.

13:22🔗 Adam That's why I'm disappointed.

13:24🔗 Drew No, Chris is leaving.

13:25🔗 Adam Chris is leaving.

13:27🔗 Caller Oh, okay. That's okay.

13:28🔗 Drew It's good to know. Hang on a second, Nick, but we wonder why people, when they call us, have a skewed understanding of what we've been speaking about. We talk about little headier things than Chris leaving, and they call us saying, how dare you say that? Because of course, it's their experience and it's about them, so they can't be objective about it.

13:44🔗 Adam They misinterpret us.

13:45🔗 Drew Yeah, they misinterpret us.

13:46🔗 Adam Yes.

13:46🔗 Drew But this is just talking about Chris leaving, they just get the person wrong.

13:48🔗 Adam We just did 10 minutes on Chris leaving, and Nick's going to miss Anderson. All right.

13:54🔗 Caller All right.

13:54🔗 Drew Sorry.

13:54🔗 Adam All right, buddy. Anyway, go ahead.

13:57🔗 Caller Well, my girlfriend, she talked me into shaving my balls, and I ended up cutting myself, and it's a pretty good gash, like a half inch in length.

14:18🔗 Drew It's like a scrape.

14:19🔗 Adam He's fine. Yeah, he's fine.

14:21🔗 Drew But how long?

14:22🔗 Adam What's the difference between your sack and your forehead?

14:25🔗 Drew Well, it's a lot different.

14:26🔗 Adam Really?

14:26🔗 Drew It's a different kind of skin.

14:28🔗 Adam Really?

14:28🔗 Drew Porous. You've tried it yourself. Put the gasoline on the forehead, put the gasoline on the nuts.

14:32🔗 Adam Oh, I have gotten gasoline on my nuts before.

14:34🔗 Drew It's different than the forehead, right?

14:36🔗 Adam Yeah. Probably shouldn't have been smoking at the time either. Yeah. Look, it's no big deal.

14:41🔗 Drew Well, unless it gets infected or something.

14:44🔗 Adam No, everything. Whatever it is that gets infected, he's fine. He's an idiot. I don't want to talk to him.

14:49🔗 Caller He's got no question.

14:51🔗 Adam Look, clean it out and keep it dry. Melissa?

14:56🔗 Drew Obviously, she's a doctor if it's a-

14:57🔗 Adam You're 18?

14:58🔗 Drew Yes.

14:59🔗 Adam Yeah, if it gets infected.

15:00🔗 Drew We can't do- What are we going to do over the radio?

15:02🔗 Adam That's bogus. He's got nothing.

15:03🔗 Drew All right, Melissa.

15:05🔗 Adam Go ahead, Melissa.

15:06🔗 Okay, I have been chosen over a guy with a gas on his nuts. Great day. Okay. First of all, I don't know if you-

15:13🔗 Drew Luckily, Adam didn't hear that.

15:15🔗 Adam No, I did.

15:15🔗 Drew Okay, go ahead.

15:17🔗 Okay, first of all, I do want to say that I agree with you from, I don't know, it's probably a couple weeks back. You said that people have to be hungry to really fully appreciate what they get later on. I totally agree with that.

15:30🔗 Adam Thank you, because we're just talking about that 11 days ago.

15:33🔗 Drew That's not exactly what we said either.

15:35🔗 Adam I have no idea.

15:37🔗 Drew We didn't say they'd need to be hungry to appreciate it.

15:39🔗 Adam They said they needed to be hungry to go get it?

15:41🔗 Drew Yeah.

15:42🔗 Adam Okay.

15:43🔗 Drew Anyway.

15:43🔗 Well, okay. Yeah, more important things. Okay, so, all right. I was abused.

15:51🔗 Adam All right.

15:51🔗 Drew Who was she going to go out with when she was abused?

15:53🔗 Adam I know. I can tell.

15:56🔗 Drew Come on. Get it over with.

15:58🔗 Adam It's just that...

15:58🔗 Drew Take your medicine.

16:00🔗 Adam That horrible cadence.

16:01🔗 Drew I know. That's why you want to abuse her.

16:03🔗 Adam I don't want to abuse her. I just want to move on.

16:06🔗 Drew You've evolved. You're just shutting them out instead of starting to yell at them.

16:10🔗 Adam She's been talking for a minute and said anything yet.

16:13🔗 Drew Let's ask about my book.

16:14🔗 Adam No.

16:15🔗 Drew Speaking of a cadence, we got to get something rolling here in this show.

16:17🔗 Adam Go, baby. Here we go.

16:20🔗 I'm head over heels for this guy at work. He's 32 years old, though.

16:24🔗 Adam Yeah.

16:24🔗 Drew Fabulous.

16:25🔗 I know this has something to do with my abuse because there's no other way I can be attracted to a guy who's almost twice my age.

16:30🔗 Drew Yes. You're offending Adam, but yes, you're right.

16:35🔗 Adam Well, no. I mean, there's 18-year-old girls who have crushes on 32-year-old guys all the time if he's a desirable 32-year-old guy. Uh-oh.

16:45🔗 Drew Did you sleep with a guy?

16:46🔗 Yeah. That's part of the issue. Actually, that's the entire issue. I cry, absolutely, every time. It's really weird for him because he's like, oh, we should that I do.

16:57🔗 Drew Melissa, fantastic.

16:58🔗 Adam So glad I could be back for that.

16:59🔗 Drew Very self-aware, evolved. Beautiful use of language. Poetic.

17:04🔗 Adam It's one thing when you're... All right. All right. She just dropped the S-bomb, so I have to put her on hold. She was abused. Now, wait a minute, Drew.

17:12🔗 Caller Yeah.

17:13🔗 Adam They're 18-year-old women.

17:14🔗 Drew No, you're right. Your point will take.

17:15🔗 Adam And sleep with 32-year-old guys. Not this 32-year-old guy. I'm sure this guy is a mess.

17:20🔗 Drew Right. This guy's got to be something that reminds her of the abusive person that nailed her way.

17:24🔗 Adam Yeah. If you're like the good-looking boss guy drives the...

17:28🔗 Drew How old is Brad Pitt?

17:30🔗 Adam 40.

17:31🔗 Drew Right.

17:31🔗 Adam 39 or whatever. Yeah. If you were over at Kinko's and Brad was your boss, showed up in a tight T-shirt one day, and you were 18, you'd be all over him. Especially if he's the boss.

17:43🔗 Drew Yeah. Now, the deal is, though, that she was sexually abused, so she is going to be attracted to abusive people and older people. And of course, it's a reenactment when she engages, when she indulges these attractions. And yeah, naturally enough, there's flashbacks and overwhelming feelings. Why don't you back up the relationship and work on some therapy instead of this relationship? That's really the only answer here. There's nothing else we can really do.

18:06🔗 Adam Melissa.

18:07🔗 Yes, sir.

18:08🔗 Adam You don't cuss, baby.

18:10🔗 I know. I really do that. I'm sorry.

18:12🔗 Adam But here's the thing. That's all right. That's all right. Here's what I've realized. Here's how people cuss. They start speaking quickly, and then their words get out ahead of their brain, and then an F or an S bomb flies out. So we'll just be slow, plotting, and methodical with our answers.

18:33🔗 Caller If I do that sometimes, you'll hear.

18:37🔗 Adam See now? It started spinning a little there, baby.

18:39🔗 Caller Okay. All right. All right.

18:42🔗 Adam That's all right.

18:44🔗 Caller I don't know what, like, I'm so confused because I don't want to be attracted to them. Because I know it will get weird because I work with them and that's already gotten weird.

18:54🔗 Adam Okay. All right. Well, hold on. Hold on, Melissa. And by the way, the other way to cast is to start getting upset or frustrated when you speak. So, slow that one down a little too.

19:05🔗 Drew Well, you understand that this is an unhealthy choice for many different reasons. It's normal, but normal is not the right word. It's understandable that you would have boundary problems and you would engage in these things given your history.

19:18🔗 Adam Who abused you?

19:20🔗 My father.

19:21🔗 Adam For how long? Four years. Okay. Sexually abused?

19:26🔗 Caller Yes.

19:26🔗 Adam Okay. And you don't have any kids, do you?

19:34🔗 Caller No. Good. I'm not doing that for a long, long time.

19:38🔗 Drew Good.

19:38🔗 Adam Right. Right.

19:39🔗 Drew Now, some people have sort of resiliency with these things and kind of make it through okay, can persuade themselves to get into a healthier relationship, can put, you know, stop something like this and try to get in something healthier. If you can't, it's time for therapy. That's it. There's nothing we can say that makes that different.

19:57🔗 Adam Yes.

19:57🔗 Drew You had horrible abuse. There's treatments for that. It's natural that you be attracted to abusive and older guys having been through what you went through. It's natural to have flashbacks and overwhelming feelings associated with sexuality, particularly with older male. No amount of convincing, it's not an intellectual process. No amount of talking is going to convince you out of that. It's not a thought problem.

20:18🔗 Adam It's like being burned horribly and thinking about doing rehab. You've got to get in that pool and get those weights on and start running on and going to Treadmill or whatever you have to do it.

20:30🔗 Drew It drives me crazy. I talk to high school teachers and high school principals who go, oh yeah, oh no, we have girls like Melissa. We'll teach her that's a bad thing. We'll show her that's a bad thing too. No, all the showing and teaching and understanding of the world is not going to change the drive, the motivations and the fact that they do these things.

20:49🔗 Adam Well, it's weird too, oftentimes we have guests in the studio that sort of chime in with these sort of retarded aphorisms where they go like, you have to want to change. And it's like, I don't want to be rude because the guy's a big director, a big actor, a big whatever, but I want to go like, yes, your retardness, please shut up for a second.

21:10🔗 Drew Retardness, the director's like, that guy over there is it?

21:13🔗 Adam Yeah, give some real advice here for a second and you've got to want to change and you've got to be ready for change or it's up to you to change. This means nothing.

21:22🔗 Drew All true, but it means nothing.

21:24🔗 Adam All true means nothing and there's this weird thing that's going on in our society where everyone is interested in saying things that no one can really question.

21:33🔗 Drew Also no one can really do anything with it.

21:35🔗 Adam No one can do it. You can't do anything with it. But you saying, look, you can change what you've got to want to change is like saying, the greatest, the best, well, number one hangover tip. Don't drink. Oh, thank you. That's very helpful. Very helpful. What else do you have for me? What other tips? What other, what other, what other safety tips do you have for things I can't engage in? Right. Best, best way, best, the best sunblock is not going out in the sun.

22:05🔗 Drew Oh, thank you.

22:06🔗 Adam There you go. That's awesome.

22:07🔗 Drew Beautiful.

22:07🔗 Adam Awesome stuff. Safest form of travel?

22:11🔗 Drew Stay at home.

22:11🔗 Adam Stay at home. Oh, awesome. Awesome.

22:13🔗 Drew I knew that one.

22:13🔗 Adam Thank you, Jack Off. Do you have anything else? Any other pearls of wisdom for me, you idiots? He got to want to change. Hey, just got to take it easy. Hey, best way to quit smoking, Drew?

22:25🔗 Drew Never pick up that cigarette in the first place.

22:26🔗 Adam Don't start. Don't start. Thank you.

22:28🔗 Drew I'll tell all my heroin addicts that. They should just pick up the needle in the first place.

22:32🔗 Adam Best way. Oh, you guys, you guys want to know the best way to quit chasing the dragon? Never pick up the rig in the first place. How about that? Thanks.

22:38🔗 Drew Fantastic.

22:39🔗 Adam Awesome.

22:40🔗 Drew I'll mention that the abuse of sexual abuse of parents, too.

22:42🔗 Adam Yeah. Hey, you guys, best way, best way to cope with sexual abuse. Don't get abused in the first place. Thank you. It's awesome. We can build a time machine. Thank you. Thank you, your royal anus.

22:54🔗 Drew Or choose to get over it.

22:56🔗 Adam Choose to get. No, you got to choose to get over it. Yeah. Awesome. Awesome stuff. Boy, that is awesome. So easy. I wonder why everyone isn't just doing it left and right.

23:06🔗 Drew Why is everyone doing everything?

23:07🔗 Adam Everyone should be doing everything.

23:08🔗 Drew Because otherwise, it's your fault. You didn't choose to. You choose to be the one.

23:12🔗 Adam You have to choose. I choose to be a blowhard, who has no actual information. You see, I made that decision. You need to choose to deal with the abuse. You need to choose to get off heroin. I choose to spit out worthless isms on the radio that really have no effect.

23:31🔗 Drew You must choose that because that's what you do. It's your choice.

23:32🔗 Adam That's what I choose. I must choose to be a blowhard celebrity. Sean?

23:38🔗 Caller Hey, what's up?

23:39🔗 Adam You're 16? Yes. Adam?

23:42🔗 Drew Corolla.

23:43🔗 Adam Listen.

23:44🔗 Drew Hang on a second.

23:45🔗 Adam Hold on a second.

23:46🔗 Drew People have this wrong, Sean. You've offended the master.

23:48🔗 Adam Look, we're changing the game Marco Polo and we're replacing it with Adam Corolla.

23:54🔗 Drew So you don't say, Marco.

23:57🔗 Adam You don't swim around a pool with your eyes closed and go, Marco. You go, Marco. Marco.

24:04🔗 Drew Polo.

24:05🔗 Marco.

24:06🔗 Adam Polo.

24:07🔗 Drew Fish out of water. Yeah.

24:09🔗 Adam What are you doing?

24:09🔗 Drew Adam. Corolla.

24:11🔗 Adam It's the same thing. Nine out of 10 people and God bless them, their hearts in the right place. They're trying to move so long. But nine out of 10 people call up and go like, Adam.

24:23🔗 Drew Adam.

24:23🔗 Adam Or they go, it's weird. It's like if my dog could talk, that's what it would sound like. It's sing songy.

24:30🔗 Drew We're kind of confused. Yes.

24:31🔗 Adam Sean, you got to do it sing songy. Adam. Corolla.

24:35🔗 Drew Not the right pitch. The A is higher. Adam.

24:39🔗 Caller Adam.

24:41🔗 Drew Corolla.

24:42🔗 Caller There you go.

24:42🔗 Adam That's how it goes. Sorry about that. Sean, you don't have a pool, do you?

24:47🔗 Drew No.

24:47🔗 Caller I have a friend who has a pool.

24:50🔗 Adam That's like having a friend that's got a girlfriend. It's nothing. You still got nothing. That's worse.

24:55🔗 Drew All right. What's up, Sean?

24:57🔗 Caller Yeah. First off, I want to say, Adam, a big follower of you. I praise every word that you say.

25:04🔗 Adam Thank you. I'm important.

25:05🔗 Caller Yeah.

25:06🔗 Adam Go ahead.

25:09🔗 Caller Adam, you're a god, Drew, passionate, passionate man.

25:13🔗 Drew Okay.

25:14🔗 Caller Passionate, passionate. Anyway, first off, back to the point. I read your book, Cracked, and I really enjoyed it. Cool. I was wondering, what book next would you recommend?

25:27🔗 Drew If you're interested in addiction? Yeah. Tell me what you're interested in, exactly.

25:34🔗 Caller Just like, I would look more into the more path of how addiction is began and.

25:44🔗 Adam All right, Drew. I'm bored already.

25:46🔗 Drew No, because that's the fact that the material is so boring.

25:49🔗 Adam Shoot him an email.

25:51🔗 Drew No, no, no. Let me think about this. Well, I wrote another book. No, no, no, listen, and I mean this. I mean this because it really was meant to sort of flush out some of the stuff I brought out in that book. It was called When Painkillers Become Dangerous. And if that interests you, I would look into the work of Alan Shore, S-C-H-O-R-E, and Peter Fonagy, F-O-N-A-G-I. And those aren't books, but they publish articles and you can sort of read them. So Fonagy has a book, but it's not exactly eye candy.

26:18🔗 Adam It's gonna be awesome. He's 16, he's coming from Ohio, he doesn't even have a pool.

26:22🔗 All right, let's take a break.

26:23🔗 Adam All right, let's take a break. Let's take a break. When we come back, Katie, unprotected oral sex a week ago, how soon do STDs show up? I'm gonna get my number out one more time. If you want to come see me.

26:36🔗 Drew I was talking about STD, and then, call me.

26:38🔗 Adam Call me at this come see me tape my Comedy Central show, 866-546-6984. 866-546-6984. We'll be right back with Young Amorous Katie after this.

26:59🔗 Dr. Drew Loveline will be right back, so get your problems ready.

27:02🔗 Caller Ready, ready.

27:04🔗 Caller Loveline is brought to you by the American Legacy Foundation. It's free, it's informative, it's powerful, it's true.

27:34🔗 Adam Yeah, it's Loveline, everybody. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Who?

27:39🔗 Caller Dr. Drew.

27:41🔗 Adam Eddie Griffin is coming in here later on the week, and then Pennywise in studio. All right, Drew. 1-800-LOVE-191 is the phone number. Had unprotected oral sex a week ago.

27:55🔗 Drew Should we play that Pennywise thing to sort of set up that show?

27:59🔗 Adam Do it later in the week. Katie?

28:03🔗 Adam Corolla.

28:05🔗 Drew Thank you for understanding.

28:06🔗 Adam See, that's how you do it. Thank you.

28:07🔗 Go ahead, Katie.

28:09🔗 Adam What's up, baby doll?

28:10🔗 Well, I had unprotected oral sex a week ago, and it was with someone that I didn't really know that well, that we've been talking for a while, but we didn't talk about sexual history and that kind of stuff.

28:20🔗 Drew This was both receiving and giving?

28:24🔗 New giving.

28:25🔗 Drew New giving. Was there anything?

28:27🔗 Adam I got to tell you, if there was some chart-

28:30🔗 Drew Time machine?

28:31🔗 Adam Well, time machine, yeah. Time machine is like, how many roofies can I stuff into this backpack? How many condoms can I get in this backpack? How much ether can I get? All right, I'm going. Oh, I need some Pukka shells. Let's go. Let's go. What else? A TiVo. I'm going to freak everyone out. Although, thank God the TiVo wasn't invented 20 years ago because we had just been watching Hal Fishman on Channel 9. What would you have TiVoed?

29:01🔗 Drew Nothing. There's nothing TiVoed, yeah.

29:02🔗 Adam There's nothing on.

29:04🔗 Drew You go backward and forward on the SLA assault.

29:07🔗 Adam Yeah.

29:07🔗 Drew That's about it. Of course, no one knows what the hell I'm talking about.

29:10🔗 Adam Yeah. No, Chris does. He's a college grad.

29:14🔗 Drew The Simeonese Liberation Army?

29:16🔗 Yeah. Remember that Hearst, right? Yeah.

29:18🔗 Caller Oh.

29:18🔗 Adam Oh. Oh!

29:19🔗 Caller Oh! Oh!

29:21🔗 Adam Patty Hurst, Indubitably. Wow! What the hell happened there? I'll tell you something.

29:27🔗 Drew He graduated that paper. Something's missing of Oz.

29:29🔗 Yeah, you know, that little paper.

29:30🔗 Adam That's all it was. Just that sheepskin, what do they call that?

29:34🔗 Drew Sheepskin.

29:34🔗 Adam Sheepskin. Yeah, he's like the lion. Oh, wait a minute. The tin man? Who didn't have the brain?

29:41🔗 Drew The Scarecrow.

29:42🔗 Adam Scarecrow.

29:43🔗 Drew Who then immediately recited the Pythagorean theory wrong.

29:46🔗 Adam Oh, was wrong.

29:47🔗 Drew Absolutely.

29:49🔗 Adam Well, that's three, four, five, right?

29:52🔗 Drew What?

29:52🔗 Adam The Pythagorean theory.

29:54🔗 Drew That's-

29:54🔗 Adam I use it when I used to build.

29:57🔗 Drew No, that's the square of the sides.

30:00🔗 Adam Yeah, but that's for squaring up things.

30:03🔗 Drew Was this finding a distance in hypotenuse?

30:05🔗 Adam Yeah. When you're building a house.

30:08🔗 Drew He said if it was an isosceles triangle in The Wizard of Oz, it's for a right angle triangle.

30:13🔗 Adam It is for a right angle triangle.

30:14🔗 Drew Right triangle, yeah.

30:15🔗 Adam Yeah, it is. Because isosceles is just like a pyramid, right?

30:18🔗 Drew Yeah, with two equal sides.

30:19🔗 Adam Right. Yeah, it's a right angle because when you're building, poor Katie, when you're building a house, you got one wall going down one way, then you turn the corner and you got the other wall, how do you know they're square?

30:31🔗 Right.

30:33🔗 Adam How do you know they're not pinched in or bowed out or whatever? There's no tool for it really. You have to use the Pythagorean theorem there.

30:42🔗 Drew Unless you just measure this distance here.

30:44🔗 Adam You go three foot this way or six foot this way, you go four foot or eight foot that way, and then you got to go 10 foot or five foot across. It's called three, four, five.

30:54🔗 Drew I see. Interesting.

30:55🔗 Adam Yeah.

30:55🔗 Drew What that is is, listen, wait, this squared plus this squared is the square root of that.

31:03🔗 Adam I just know when that's three foot and that's four foot, that's got to be five foot and that's when you're square. Speaking of squared pops, Katie?

31:12🔗 Drew Yes.

31:12🔗 Adam All right. I'm sorry. Go ahead. So you're 20. You gave oral sex.

31:17🔗 Caller Correct.

31:18🔗 Adam Now, here's all I'm saying. This is what I wanted to say. The instances of guys just getting oral in today's age is much higher than it used to be.

31:29🔗 Caller Of course.

31:30🔗 Drew That's why you'd need the time machine again.

31:31🔗 Adam Yeah. You didn't know any guys you went to high school with just got a BJ.

31:35🔗 Drew No way.

31:35🔗 Adam Just went on date and had a BJ. Now, they may have gotten a BJ as part of the overall sex package because they had a girlfriend or because they got lucky.

31:43🔗 Drew Way later.

31:44🔗 Adam But you know a guy just went out and got blown.

31:46🔗 Drew No. In a way, it's part of how things are shaking out. Really, it's all been an evolution since basically we got control over contraception.

31:56🔗 Adam Yeah.

31:56🔗 Drew That's when things started changing.

31:57🔗 Adam Well, to me, the whole AIDS thing was a windfall for fans of the BJ. You know what I mean? That was our greatest day.

32:04🔗 Drew Yeah.

32:05🔗 Adam You know what I'm saying?

32:06🔗 Drew Yeah. That moved things in that direction.

32:08🔗 Adam Yeah.

32:10🔗 Drew Hats off. Yes.

32:10🔗 Adam Hats off to AIDS is what the BJ fans say. Awesome. Go ahead, Katie.

32:15🔗 Caller Well, I would say for me, it's more of an insecurity thing where it's something that I can do with someone and not have to be completely exposed myself.

32:24🔗 Drew That's what I'm talking about. It's diabolical, Katie.

32:27🔗 Caller Don't worry.

32:28🔗 Adam AIDS was the driving force behind you feeling this way.

32:32🔗 Drew Or creating this option. This option wouldn't have been on the table had it not been for HIV. Here's the thing.

32:37🔗 Adam Katie is 20. She's been hit over the head with this since age five. Hopefully, six or seven. But you know what I'm saying?

32:44🔗 Drew Right.

32:45🔗 Adam AIDS, 15 years old, a little more, right?

32:49🔗 Drew Yeah.

32:50🔗 Adam Coming on at 20 years old. So her whole time on this planet, people have been saying, if you have unprotected sex, if you transmit whatever. So her thing is like, I just give a guy BJ.

33:01🔗 Drew Also, it gets the guy off her back. It's diabolical.

33:04🔗 Adam Yeah.

33:04🔗 Drew It just puts the wind out.

33:05🔗 Adam Yeah, it gets her off her back too. All right, Katie. So.

33:09🔗 Caller Well, for me, it was something that I wanted to do, but I'm a virgin and I didn't want to lose my virginity. So it was something that I could still do and enjoy because I did enjoy doing it.

33:19🔗 Adam Let me say this too, Drew.

33:20🔗 Caller Hold on.

33:21🔗 Adam You know, people always talk about the baggage of having sex with a virgin.

33:25🔗 Drew The baggage, yeah.

33:26🔗 Adam Of having sex with a virgin. Not during experience. Maybe there's blood. You could be their first. I mean, you are the first. No. Well, a lot of our folks, their uncle raped them before you got to them. But I still think of them as a virgin. But my point is, there's baggage that goes along. They're not going to be great in the sack. There could be some bleeding.

33:47🔗 Drew They could get really clingy.

33:49🔗 Adam They're going to get attached. Who wants to deal with it, especially if it's the kind of thing where you're not planning on staying around for the long haul.

33:54🔗 Drew Right, you're hurting somebody if you do that.

33:56🔗 Adam Getting a BJ from a virgin, however, has all the great trappings of the virginity part with none of the baggage. It's all the upside of the virgin.

34:07🔗 Drew That's just the upside for Katie, unless she feels okay about it.

34:09🔗 Adam But the idea of a virgin giving you a BJ, that's good for ten whacks right there. Forget about just the actual BJ.

34:18🔗 Drew And you get off free.

34:19🔗 Adam Scat free. You walk. Katie?

34:23🔗 Caller Yes.

34:24🔗 Adam Awesome.

34:25🔗 Drew Awesome. You need to understand how a guy's mind works, Katie. You really do.

34:28🔗 Adam Yeah. The whole virgin.

34:30🔗 Caller It was not something that he pressured or initiated in any way. It was something that I initiated and that I wanted to do, because it's something that I wanted to do for a long time. I've been sexual from a very young age. So it's something that I-

34:43🔗 Drew What does that mean? What does that mean?

34:44🔗 Caller You know, I've really, and I've been listening to your show forever. So I've really thought about my past and that kind of thing, and I've never been sexually abused or anything like that.

34:51🔗 Drew What do you mean you were sexual? What does that mean?

34:54🔗 Caller Like, I started masturbating at a very, very young age before- excuse me, before I was exposed to anything really sexual.

35:01🔗 Drew That usually means, when a kid is doing it in the sort of, in the pre-pubescent, particularly early childhood, that means chaos in the home.

35:08🔗 Adam Are you-

35:08🔗 Drew I mean, that's the way kids try to self-regulate, self-soothe with that, and they just sort of automatically go that direction.

35:14🔗 Caller That may have been. I have a stable home. My parents are still together, all that kind of stuff. But, well, I'm not really sure what it was. It was something that I just started exploring, and it was something that I enjoyed, and didn't even really necessarily understand, and I would never expose anything. All right.

35:37🔗 Drew I didn't say expose, I said chaos in the home.

35:39🔗 Adam Let me say this, Drew. I'm starting to realize that people have certain capacities, that they show themselves early.

35:46🔗 Drew Yeah, yeah, yeah.

35:46🔗 Adam Talents, music, adventure, thrill seeking, whatever. For good or for bad, they start showing themselves at a very early age. Why not sexuality?

35:58🔗 Drew It's possible, but I'm just saying, more often than not, when kids early days, because it's not biologically in the cards usually, it's usually as a way of self stimulating, it's sort of self soothing.

36:09🔗 Adam But there's a lot of other behaviors that show themselves early, that don't seem to be atypical biologically, but yet these kids start showing those signs early. I'm not saying she's going to be a porn star, but I understand.

36:20🔗 Drew No, no, no, not at all.

36:21🔗 Adam All right. So Katie.

36:22🔗 Caller I understand where Drew is coming from because I really thought about it a lot and been concerned about that because I've seen that in friends of mine and that kind of thing. So I've really thought about it a lot.

36:31🔗 Adam All right.

36:33🔗 Drew Don't worry about it.

36:34🔗 Adam Are you a big gal?

36:36🔗 Caller Relatively. I've always been very athletic, but I'm kind of genetically disadvantaged.

36:41🔗 Drew Hold on a second.

36:42🔗 Adam When I heard it, initiated the BJ, pow, I put 50 pounds on her ass right there. I hate to be sad, but when I hear initiate BJ, you know what I'm saying?

36:53🔗 Drew I hear you. She's saying because she wanted to do it.

36:56🔗 Adam When I just go out and get a BJ, don't get anything returned, that's 20 pounds over when I hear initiate the BJ. Now, we're at 50. That's all. Off to my head. Athletic, yes, Kenny? Bad genetic hand, though.

37:11🔗 Caller Fat parents. I come from an overweight family, so I've always been chubby, but I've been in sports since I was tiny and all that.

37:18🔗 Adam All you got to do is read. Why don't you just read one of those books, those retarded. See, entire banks will just come out with a book. You just read it, then you learn how to be beautiful.

37:26🔗 Caller I should just read about how guys aren't good into me, and how anybody can be a supermodel as long as they just really want to enough.

37:32🔗 Adam Well, Cindy Crawford or Tyra Banks will come out with a book on beauty, and then you read it.

37:37🔗 Drew Then you become it.

37:38🔗 Caller Then I'll really feel beautiful and just become it.

37:40🔗 Drew No, no, no.

37:41🔗 Adam That's true.

37:42🔗 Drew You'll transform.

37:42🔗 Adam If you ever ask any of those lame brains what's the most important beauty tip, it's the inside out.

37:49🔗 Caller As long as I feel beautiful, then everyone will.

37:51🔗 Adam Oh my god. I know.

37:52🔗 Drew We forgot about that one.

37:53🔗 Adam I forgot.

37:56🔗 Drew We've let that one go for a while.

37:57🔗 Adam There's a million reasons why I hate supermodels. The number one reason is, oh no, actually, number one is none of them got into modeling.

38:04🔗 Drew Yeah, a friend set them up for a contest.

38:06🔗 Adam That's right.

38:06🔗 Drew Every one of them.

38:07🔗 Adam There's no supermodel in the world evidently that knows they're attractive.

38:10🔗 Drew Right. Okay.

38:11🔗 Adam For A. A.

38:13🔗 Drew Tom Boy. B. Tom Boy.

38:15🔗 Adam No date to the prom.

38:16🔗 Drew No date to the prom. C.

38:17🔗 Adam Got in was pre-med. When I say pre-med, I mean the ninth grade. Yeah.

38:21🔗 Drew No, usually medical school, ninth grade.

38:25🔗 Adam No, no, when you start scratching the surface, you realize-

38:28🔗 Drew That's what I'm saying, but they usually say medical school, and then you realize it was ninth grade man.

38:32🔗 Adam Well, one of the pre-med.

38:34🔗 Drew We had that.

38:34🔗 Caller Remember that?

38:35🔗 Drew Yeah.

38:35🔗 Adam They're in the ninth grade.

38:36🔗 Drew Yeah.

38:37🔗 Caller Right.

38:37🔗 Adam That's pre-med today.

38:37🔗 Drew We found a couple of them that they were-

38:39🔗 Adam Everyone who's-

38:39🔗 Drew Remember the one speaking French fluently? I spoke to her, I was like, yeah, we.

38:44🔗 Adam Yeah. We had a public- Okay. Listen. All right. Anyway. Point is, is models, the number one beauty tip, it's about how a woman feels. If she feels sexy, she is sexy. That's awesome. What about guys? If we feel sexy, are we sexy?

39:04🔗 Drew Oh, yeah, of course.

39:05🔗 Adam You know what I mean?

39:05🔗 Drew I guess we always feel that way.

39:07🔗 Adam If Larry Flint feels sexy, is he sexy to the ladies? Because he's feeling it. Do you know what I mean? You feel sexy.

39:16🔗 Drew As I heard a woman say once in New York City, she goes, it depends if he stands on his wallet or not.

39:19🔗 Adam Right. Rob Reiner, when he feels sexy, sexy man, fat bloated lardo.

39:27🔗 Drew Come on.

39:28🔗 Adam Oh, screw him.

39:28🔗 Drew Come now.

39:29🔗 Adam Screw him.

39:30🔗 Drew What did he say?

39:31🔗 Adam No, he just always wants money for everybody.

39:33🔗 Drew Oh, that's right.

39:34🔗 Adam He's always bugging everybody. He's always sucks.

39:37🔗 Drew South Park did a great episode about that.

39:38🔗 Adam All right. Just give him your own crappy money. That's all. All he wants is everyone to quit smoking and everyone to start giving money to everyone.

39:44🔗 Drew He's the one who sucks.

39:46🔗 Adam All right. I don't know what Katie's doing.

39:47🔗 Drew Katie wants to know about oral sex. How's it going to be when STDs show up? You giving oral sex, if you were going to get herpes, you would have sores potentially within a day or so, but up to two weeks after. You'd have a sore throat very quickly within a day or two if you had chlamydia. You'd have a shanker within a few days if you had, in a week, if you had syphilis. If you didn't swallow semen, HIV is really not that big an issue. If you did, obviously a check and then six months recheck.

40:16🔗 Adam Tony, but again, it doesn't matter how big your ass is. You feel beautiful, you are beautiful.

40:21🔗 Drew Let's take a break.

40:21🔗 Adam Just ask Tyra Banks, she'll tell you. You feel beautiful. Ask Cindy Crawford. Ask Elle MacPherson. When you feel beautiful, you're sexy.

40:29🔗 Drew Yet in her Who's Going to be the Next Supermodel series?

40:32🔗 Adam Nobody's feeling beautiful.

40:34🔗 Drew I didn't hear any of that.

40:34🔗 Adam What about feeling beautiful?

40:35🔗 Drew Quite the convo there, kicking each other's rear.

40:37🔗 Adam Well, look, just admit you're there because you're hot, and just admit you're hot because you have a genetic hand out to you. Just like you're short. I don't like, okay, here's all I'm saying. To say you did something, to make yourself hot somehow, because when you say you're going to write a book about how to be hot, it suggests that you did something. They always tell us, I was in the ballet when I was younger, that's why I got these toe and legs and stuff like that. I just don't like what it implies because it implies that people that aren't hot are doing something wrong or lazy. These chicks are hot because they are hot. That's it. You can't argue with it. It's going to take them 30 years of doing heroin and eating White Castle to F with it. That's it. It's all genetics everybody. Love of Christ, it's all genetics. It's all it is. We will take ourselves a little break. We'll be right back after this.

41:34🔗 Caller Hello, this is your radio.

41:37🔗 Caller Loveline will be right back.

41:40🔗 Caller You think getting to the Super Bowl is tough? Try getting past all the gorgeous women inside the August Playboy just to find out who we picked to win the Super Bowl. Playboy's NFL preview on sale now.

42:16🔗 Adam Yeah, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew. Phone number, 1-800-L-F-E-E-1-9-1. Those are the Gorillaz, our favorite band. Eddie Griffin is coming in here later on this week, and then Pennywise. All right, fiance prefers to masturbate over having sex with him. That sounds good. Bill?

42:43🔗 Yes.

42:44🔗 Adam 23?

42:45🔗 Caller Yes.

42:46🔗 Adam Your fiance prefers to masturbate over having sex with you?

42:50🔗 Yeah, please help me.

42:52🔗 Drew Prefers or because she's a virgin and is trying to hold off, or what's going on?

42:57🔗 No, we've had sex before.

42:59🔗 Drew But sometimes we...

43:01🔗 Go ahead. It was every day for, you know, about nine, maybe ten months. Sometimes two times a day.

43:08🔗 Drew And when did it stop?

43:10🔗 About two months ago.

43:11🔗 Drew And what did she say the reason was?

43:13🔗 She hasn't told me. She'll literally rub it in my face.

43:17🔗 Adam I mean, I got bogus. Hold on a second. I got bogus from Bill. I got intermittent boguosity.

43:26🔗 Drew Maybe sort of blowhard a-hole.

43:27🔗 Adam I got early bogus from Bill. And then it smoothed out a little, and then it went bogus again. Sorry, Bill. Bill, yeah, making the bogus call.

43:37🔗 I'm sorry, guys. I swear to God, everything that's holy, this is true.

43:40🔗 Adam Okay.

43:41🔗 And the only reason I can think is there's been maybe three or four times that I have not been able to get her off. And I've never seen a woman get so mad about it, literally. I have no reason to make it up.

43:53🔗 Adam All right. Well, here's the thing. According to the laws of the Geneva Boguosity Convention, we must participate in this phone call to the best of our ability. Now, if she got angry, violently angry, because you're unable to give her an orgasm a couple of times, she has serious issues. And those issues need to be looked into before this relationship progresses. Do you understand?

44:21🔗 Caller Yeah. We're supposed to be getting married within the next year.

44:24🔗 Adam Yeah. That is something that I would put on ice, like a lobster for me.

44:28🔗 Drew How old is she?

44:30🔗 Caller She's 25.

44:32🔗 Adam And you, Bill, sound like you've not been around the block too many times with too many ladies. Is that correct?

44:40🔗 Caller No, not at all.

44:41🔗 Drew That's true or not true?

44:43🔗 Caller It's true. I haven't.

44:45🔗 Adam Yeah. And you are, here's the thing. You're a good guy. You're a nice guy. She's a little bit older. She has a little more experience than you do, correct?

44:57🔗 Drew She has two kids.

44:58🔗 Adam And I was about to say some baggage.

45:01🔗 Drew And the angry thing is really not a good sign.

45:06🔗 Adam Well, here's what's going on with Bill. Bill has been adrift in a vaginalist's sea for many, many years.

45:14🔗 Drew And he got a number above his.

45:16🔗 Adam And he just had something come floating along and he grabbed onto it and he ain't letting go. But the reality is, is what came floating along while you thought was good, seemed like, seemed like just a wooden crate that you could grab onto and get some relief from the ocean. Turns out it's filled with rabie infested rats. And you're actually better off floating on the open ocean than you are hanging on to these rats that are attracting sharks and nipping at your fingers as you cling to life. Yes.

45:49🔗 Drew Oh my.

45:50🔗 Adam Vivid. Yes, Drew?

45:51🔗 Drew Yeah, vivid. Beautiful. Lovely. Poetic. I don't want to give. I don't know the situation.

45:55🔗 Adam Bill, do you do something with computer technology or something like that?

46:01🔗 Caller No, no, not at all.

46:02🔗 Drew Farmer.

46:02🔗 Adam What do you do?

46:03🔗 Caller I am actually, you'll get to kick out as a professional stripper. Floor stripper.

46:08🔗 Adam Oh, floor stripper. Oh, you run a drum sander?

46:12🔗 Caller Well, it's a commercial floor care.

46:16🔗 Adam You do, is it a circular one or a drum one?

46:19🔗 Caller Circular.

46:20🔗 Adam All right. Oh, you're not stripping. In hardwood floors, you're stripping wax floors.

46:24🔗 Caller Yeah.

46:25🔗 Caller Yeah.

46:25🔗 Adam You're running a bushel.

46:27🔗 Caller Right.

46:28🔗 Adam Yeah. Okay. I'll tell you, that's a pussy gig right there.

46:33🔗 Drew I just heard C. I didn't see.

46:35🔗 Adam They see you standing in the lobby of the convention center. They're like, your ass moving in time.

46:46🔗 Drew They're running for it.

46:48🔗 Adam Oh, my God. It will be a crime to get married. Bill. Yes. Baby Bill, here's the thing, sweetie. This guy, this chick, I should say, has some issues and some baggage. And you, Bill, take it from a guy who used to clean carpets. You know, I mean, I mean, your fraternity, your floor, your commercial floor care for fraternity. Do not listen to me, Bill. Do not get married to this girl this soon. She just got over a divorce.

47:21🔗 Drew Give it some time.

47:22🔗 Adam Please give it some time. Tell her you want to address these issues. And here's the thing, everybody. If you say to your person, look, I'm not saying we're not getting married. I'm saying I want this marriage to last.

47:37🔗 Drew I want to understand why you're doing something strange, like mastermind.

47:39🔗 Adam I don't want it to last for 18 months. I want it to last for 200 years.

47:42🔗 Drew You're doing something strange. We have to look into this.

47:45🔗 Adam Right. And you know what it's like? It's like if you're at the bank and they say, you know what, Dr. Pinsky, we just want to check, double check your signature card and your ID. If it is, if your signature is on that card, by all means, do your job.

47:58🔗 Drew Right.

47:58🔗 Adam Do your job. You freaking out when the person says it's going to take five minutes?

48:02🔗 Drew That means.

48:02🔗 Adam That you got a criminal.

48:03🔗 Drew Yeah.

48:03🔗 Adam Okay. If she says, by all means, let's get this stuff straightened out before we tie the knot. I don't want to make the same mistake twice. Fine. If she starts freaking, you don't want her. Please listen, Bill.

48:14🔗 Drew Here we go.

48:14🔗 Adam Quick break. We'll be right back after this. Yeah, it's Love Line, man. That's Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191-ER. Let me give you another phone number if you want to come see my new Comedy Central show, 866-546-6984. 866-546-6984. Let me say this, Drew.

49:32🔗 Caller Now get ready for hot horny studs.

49:34🔗 Adam Yeah. That's the machine you'll reach. I have a gay assistant.

49:40🔗 Drew Yes, you do. You got to fight with him last week.

49:44🔗 I got to fight with him like a month ago.

49:46🔗 Adam He hates Anderson, but-

49:47🔗 Drew Well, now he hates you too.

49:49🔗 Adam That's fine. Anderson doesn't pay him. He was like, I can't stand that Anderson. I was like, join the queue, buddy. Get in line. So, he's gay. Super gay. Novelty gay.

50:05🔗 Drew Novelty gay. I was at your party and he came in and like chaps and zebra boots and makeup, I think.

50:12🔗 Adam Yeah. Super novelty gay. Yeah. And I realized, yeah, yeah, good guy. I had him trying to do a couple of things. Once in a while, I try to send him to the hardware store to go pick up something. And then he comes back with the wrong thing. And then I send him back and he brings the wrong thing again. And then I tell him to go rent the carpet cleaner or something like that. And he comes back with the thing. And then I realize, and I always, then I say to my wife, I send him, send Matt down and whatever. And she always goes, hey, he's gay, leave him alone. And that's what everyone says. Now they mean, here's what they mean. That don't mean he's handicapped or he's crippled, but you sent him to go do a straight thing. You see what I'm saying?

50:49🔗 Drew I don't think that's true.

50:51🔗 Adam Yeah, you don't because you're on the radio and people are listening to you. But I'm telling you, let me tell you how society works. You send a gay guy to the hardware store and say, I told the guy to get X, Y, and Z and he came back with P, D, and Q, and people go, what do you expect? He's gay, doesn't know the hardware store.

51:07🔗 Look for the areas, fill that space.

51:09🔗 Drew That guy would know.

51:10🔗 The whole idea about creating focal points in your room is keeping your eye trained for those little details. It's those little details that make the home yours.

51:20🔗 Adam Yeah, little details like getting the ribbed butt plug, I suppose, just a smooth one.

51:26🔗 I got the message that Matt left me, want to hear it?

51:29🔗 Adam Yeah, I'd like to hear that.

51:30🔗 I'd like to hear that for a second.

51:33🔗 Caller Anderson, this is Matt, Adam Corolla's assistant. I got your message. I didn't appreciate it. Clearly, if I failed to understand your name twice, but I can understand everyone else's name when they call, it doesn't seem like it's my problem. It seems like you need to enunciate a little bit better.

51:55🔗 Drew Or not be loaded when you call, Anderson.

51:56🔗 Caller Or speak lower when you leave a message. I'll pass on that you called to Adam, but I really don't like degrading messages on the voicemail.

52:06🔗 Adam Well, that's one thing I like about Matt.

52:08🔗 Drew He stands up for himself.

52:09🔗 Adam Stands up for himself and meself, too, except for he tells me to F off every other day, too.

52:13🔗 Drew Well, that's good.

52:14🔗 Adam Yeah, it's awesome.

52:15🔗 Drew Yeah, I hope he's effective, because otherwise, he'd just be just sitting there taking abuse and it's awesome.

52:21🔗 Adam It's awesome.

52:22🔗 Drew They need to have a huge eruptions every day.

52:24🔗 Adam Oh, yeah. No, he has one twice a week. So here's the thing. No, he's got chutzpah because he yells at people. But I realize if you just announce to the world you're gay, you never get that Saturday morning phone call where you got to help your buddy move. Yeah. I know you don't want to participate or go along with me in this one. You don't get that, let's move. You don't get that, we got to go down to the hardware store. You don't get the barn raising phone call. You get left alone. You get cut slack. Oh, yes.

52:56🔗 Drew What's the reasoning that you're not capable of that or something?

53:00🔗 Adam Look, all I know is you start complaining about, go find a gay buddy and tell him, I sent him over to go do this or I told him to go do that. Now, I'm not talking about clerical work. I'm talking about something physical or something that a guy traditionally, not a guy like you, Drew, who calls it a triple A.

53:18🔗 Drew I was gonna say, I must be gay.

53:20🔗 Adam But here's my point. If I said, I sent Drew to the hardware store to get the double A batteries and it came back with triple A batteries, people would say, what's wrong with Drew? If Drew was gay, they'd go, hey, he's gay, leave him alone. That's not his place. I'm just saying, you go gay, you get a gay assistant, you start sending them out to do a bunch of little stuff and they come back with snake eyes and people say a lot of the time, hey, he's gay, that's not his thing, that's not his place. What do you expect? He's not going to go to clean your carpets, he's gay. Do you know what? You're making a face, but I'm telling you.

53:58🔗 Drew You're usually right about things.

53:59🔗 Adam I'm just telling you, it's not true. Look, if you say go to Kinko's and make some copies, no one's going to say he's gay. If you say go down to Starbucks and get a pound of French roast, no one's going to go, well, he didn't do it right because he's gay. No, it's none of that stuff. But if you say go rent a van or something, anything that's stereotypical heterosexual.

54:20🔗 Drew Because they have no experience doing that?

54:22🔗 Adam Don't know. Because society, you know why? I'll tell you why. Because society and they have lumped themselves in with females. By the same reason, if I said to somebody, oh man, we were moving into the new house, my wife, man, I'll tell you, she must have brought a shoe box worth of stuff in over the house. Come on, give her a break. She's a chick. You see what I'm saying? Now, my buddy Ray, my buddy Chris could never get away with that.

54:49🔗 Drew Right, right, right.

54:50🔗 Adam You see, we have relegated the gays into chick territory when it comes to the things like the blue wing.

54:57🔗 Drew So you're saying we're being chauvinistic or we're discriminatory for no good reason. We should be holding them accountable like anybody else.

55:06🔗 Adam They have testicles. They have backs. No, here's what I'm saying. If I was walking along the street and some guy came up and started with me and next thing you know, fists were flying and I said, I was with Ray or Chris, they'd be like, why didn't they jump in? I have your back. But if you say with my gay buddy, they're like, yeah. Now listen, think about it.

55:30🔗 Drew You're not saying that's right. You're saying just that's how people are.

55:32🔗 Adam I know you don't want to get involved with this because you don't think it's right. But yes, yes, if I was walking down the street, my assistant Matt and some guy started stuff and the fist started flying, you treat Matt like he was a woman, whereas Ray or Chris or any of my other buddies would not get that same courtesy. You see what I'm saying?

55:53🔗 Drew And you're talking about people on two ends of a spectrum, too.

55:56🔗 Adam Well, that's true. But here's the thing. I realize that gay men, while sort of taking on the heavy ways of a woman, society has now basically identified them as females when it comes to the heavy lifting. Think about it, Drew. You know any gay movers? Gay bouncers?

56:20🔗 Drew But you're going for this gay and the gay.

56:22🔗 Adam I guess at a gay nightclub you're going for... I don't know who's gay and who's not gay. All I'm saying, here's what I'm saying, Drew.

56:28🔗 Drew But you're saying that people... Just listen... .stereotypically people would do that.

56:31🔗 Adam Here's what I think. What do you think of this? I think a lot of women, able-bodied young women, get away with a lot of playing that, I couldn't lift it card. I didn't want... It's more they didn't want to do it. Right. They just... they're playing that card, the same card I would play. I just didn't want to get up on the ladder and I didn't want to cut the IV, I didn't want to drag the stuff out to the street or I didn't want to move the boxes, I don't know how to work the carpet cleaner, I don't know how to do that. And it's convenient, it's great, they don't have to do it. Fine. I think a lot of gay guys play that card too, and I think we force that hand on them.

57:09🔗 Drew All right.

57:09🔗 Adam Well, they're chicks.

57:10🔗 Drew So we're discriminating, yeah.

57:12🔗 Adam They're acting like women.

57:13🔗 Drew Sort of reverse discrimination of sorts.

57:16🔗 Adam No, it's not, we're getting screwed. Now we got chicks and gays who can't do anything. Do you see what I'm saying? Let's see, Drew is a guy who does nothing.

57:26🔗 Drew See, that's right.

57:26🔗 Adam A guy who's for all intents and purposes gay.

57:30🔗 Drew I must be gay.

57:32🔗 Adam You are practically gay and I don't mean almost gay. I just mean for all practical purposes gay.

57:38🔗 Drew Effectively gay.

57:39🔗 Adam Effectively gay.

57:40🔗 Drew Fantastic.

57:41🔗 Adam Fantastically gay. Is that what you're saying?

57:44🔗 Drew That's what I'm saying.

57:45🔗 Adam Yes. Yes, you are no use to anyone including yourself. All you're good for is kicking rocks at the beach. But Drew's nail is a mess by the way. His toenail. All right. So it's easy for you to see their side. I'm just saying close your eyes and just think from a societal standpoint, you just guys and yes, if you're flamboyant, yes, if you're Liberace, nobody blames him for not watching his buddies back in an alley fight or going and moving these boxes or chopping down a tree or something like that.

58:11🔗 Drew That's a particular guy.

58:12🔗 Adam I'm just saying when you close your eyes and you think about that guy, you don't think of him any differently than you think if you asked your mom to go chop a tree down and then stack the cords of logs in the back of the house.

58:23🔗 Drew Right. That guy. Yes.

58:25🔗 Adam And shades of gray in between.

58:27🔗 Drew Yes.

58:27🔗 Adam So if you're gay, you get out of a lot of stuff.

58:31🔗 Drew Interesting. Yeah.

58:33🔗 Adam That's one more reason for me to go gay.

58:35🔗 Drew I was just thinking that. Yes. I mean, there you go. You're in.

58:39🔗 Adam Be awesome, right? Gay, left alone.

58:42🔗 Drew Oh, and you.

58:43🔗 Adam No more weekend moves, no more. You know how many phone calls I get just on home improvement stuff? All day, everyone, hey, you got a good, could you come over? Look, I got a good, do you have, can I borrow a, do you got any of a three-eighths or half-inch truck?

58:55🔗 Drew That's just your family.

58:56🔗 Adam Oh, that's just the family. That's just gay. The phone would never ring anymore. I just say, you want to come over and have a smart cocktail? Or lounging by the pool. Be awesome. Drew.

59:06🔗 Drew Yeah.

59:06🔗 Adam Seriously. I got to go gay.

59:08🔗 Drew Well, you've always said that.

59:09🔗 Adam Tony. Yeah. I know I've said it in the past. I've threatened in the past.

59:13🔗 Drew You're in now.

59:14🔗 Adam Now I mean it.

59:14🔗 Drew You're going.

59:15🔗 Adam Tony.

59:16🔗 Caller Hey, what's up?

59:19🔗 Caller Yeah. My question is for Drew. Yeah. I went to the doctor and they say that I have an early beginning stage part of bacterial meningitis. They are supposed to go in this up and coming Wednesday to have a spinal tap. I was wondering what kind of, I've heard that there can be a lot of things either go wrong or there could be some trouble with it. I was wondering what kind of things could happen.

59:49🔗 Drew No. Spinal taps are like having your blood drawn.

59:51🔗 Adam It's very, very simple.

59:52🔗 Drew You get a headache afterwards. You basically curl up in a fetal position and they just drop a needle right into just about the floor.

59:58🔗 Adam They get fluid from your spine?

59:59🔗 Drew They draw fluid from the spine. It's a very simple procedure.

1:00:02🔗 Adam Why do they need the fluid from your spine?

1:00:04🔗 Drew They think he has an infection. They take it out and look at it in a microscope and culture it and look at the protein and sugar content in the spinal fluid.

1:00:13🔗 Adam I think the spinal tamp thing freaks people out.

1:00:16🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:00:16🔗 Adam It needs a new name.

1:00:18🔗 Drew Lumbar puncture.

1:00:20🔗 Adam Lumbar is good.

1:00:21🔗 Drew Lumbar puncture. Usually, they give you a CAT scan beforehand just to double-check things because it can be a serious thing. It was a tumor up there and they do a spinal tap. But be that as it may, it's weird, though, that if they believe you have bacterial meningitis that they wouldn't have done the spinal tap on the spot. That's bizarre. So that's the only thing that's wild about this is that they're waiting.

1:00:42🔗 Caller Another question.

1:00:44🔗 Drew Unless they think you have TB or something.

1:00:46🔗 Adam Hold on, I just got another question.

1:00:47🔗 Caller Can they find anything else like drugs in the spinal tap?

1:00:52🔗 Drew No. But if you're having weird neurological problems and you're doing drugs and you don't tell the doctor, you're going to have lots of expensive and painful procedures while they try to figure out what's going on with you and it all turns out to be drugs anyway. So you better tell your doctor what's going on. That is a foolish, foolish mistake.

1:01:09🔗 Adam Let me do a little reenactment there. You give me the same speech you just gave, Tony.

1:01:13🔗 Drew All right. You're going to have lots of painful and expensive procedures if you don't tell your doctor. If they think there's something neurological going on with you and you're doing drugs, you don't tell them, that's foolish.

1:01:22🔗 Adam Okay. Clearly beaten man at that point. He's obviously done copious amounts of drugs and had no intention of telling anybody about his drug use. Tony, I could tell you've done a lot of drugs when you said hi. Actually, I didn't say hi, but when you said hi. Hello. Okay.

1:01:42🔗 Drew I got a good question.

1:01:43🔗 Adam Yeah. What's up, buddy? You're 18. You're too young for drugs.

1:01:49🔗 Drew The drug, illicit drugs, damage people's brain, cause all kinds of neurological problems. If you're having an evaluation for neurological problems and you don't tell them about that.

1:01:58🔗 Adam What drugs are you doing?

1:02:00🔗 Caller Coke.

1:02:02🔗 Drew Cocaine? Yeah. Well, you can even have strokes with that.

1:02:04🔗 Adam How much of that you're doing?

1:02:07🔗 Caller Not too much. Just a couple of ones here, a couple of ones there.

1:02:10🔗 Drew What does that mean?

1:02:12🔗 Caller I don't know. It's pretty far off addiction.

1:02:16🔗 Drew You're not smoking pot every day?

1:02:19🔗 Caller I smoke pot every once in a while.

1:02:20🔗 Drew How often?

1:02:22🔗 Caller I'd say 10 times a week.

1:02:24🔗 Drew 10 times a week? That's every day. That's more than every day, right? So there you go. You're smoking pot. What's that?

1:02:31🔗 Caller A couple of times a day.

1:02:32🔗 Drew Yeah, you're smoking pot every day. And now you're getting into sedatives.

1:02:34🔗 Adam What do you start with occasionally?

1:02:36🔗 Drew Here and there.

1:02:36🔗 Adam Here and there. Yeah, so that's here and here.

1:02:39🔗 Drew And that causes a lot of neurological symptoms as well. So you need to talk to the doctor about these things. It's not like they're going to take you over to the police or that they can even tell your parents. You're 18. It's illegal for them to share that information with anybody.

1:02:49🔗 Adam Hey, Tony, you do sound affected. You really do.

1:02:55🔗 Drew Yeah, we hear the pot most of the time.

1:02:56🔗 Adam So what's the plan? I mean, you're 18. You're going to get a job. You're going to go to school.

1:03:03🔗 Caller I'm working to be an auto mechanic.

1:03:05🔗 Adam All right. Well, as long as you're working to be something. Here's the thing with weed. They got to reel it in a little bit. It's too good.

1:03:13🔗 Drew Yeah, it's screwing people up.

1:03:14🔗 Adam Now, here's what I realized, Drew. Yeah. Way back in the day.

1:03:18🔗 Drew No, you had to smoke a lid to get what you get from the joint.

1:03:20🔗 Adam My mom would have to smoke a shoebox full of pot to get half high. Here, when my mom was smoking weed like in the 70s, 60s, 70s, weed was first off, it was the pot leaf. Remember that everyone? It was not the bud. It was the leaf. People smoke pot leaves.

1:03:41🔗 Drew They don't do that anymore? I didn't realize that.

1:03:42🔗 Adam They smoke bud.

1:03:44🔗 Drew Interesting. They really mean bud when they say bud now.

1:03:46🔗 Adam Oh, Drew, you?

1:03:47🔗 Drew Yeah, I'm Squaresville.

1:03:48🔗 Adam Are you Squaresville?

1:03:49🔗 Drew Squaresville. What do you do?

1:03:50🔗 Adam Run a small upholstering shop in upstate New York or do you do an addiction drug?

1:03:55🔗 Drew Yeah?

1:03:55🔗 No, it's just like, you guys seem like teenagers.

1:03:59🔗 Caller And your voices are like old.

1:04:02🔗 Drew Here's a comment from six years ago.

1:04:06🔗 Drew, hello?

1:04:09🔗 Adam People smoke bud.

1:04:10🔗 Drew No, I've heard it called the bud and I assumed there was bud in there, but I didn't realize there was no leaf anymore. I don't think there's leaf anymore. I know how powerful it is under the effects, but it's interesting. That's interesting to me.

1:04:21🔗 Adam It's all bud.

1:04:22🔗 Drew Interesting.

1:04:22🔗 Adam You'd be, well, I mean, the leaf is sort of in the bud.

1:04:26🔗 Drew Yeah, I know what you mean.

1:04:28🔗 Adam But here's the thing, the pot leaf, it used to be you would take a pot leaf, you would drive the pot leaf and you would smoke it like you smoke tobacco leaf.

1:04:36🔗 Drew Absolutely.

1:04:37🔗 Adam And there'd be some stem and some seeds and some twigs and crap in there.

1:04:42🔗 Drew But ceremonial clean the pot, remember that?

1:04:44🔗 Adam Yeah, that's what the lid of the shoebox is for, is pick all the seeds and stems and all that. But the point is, is that stuff was nothing compared to what's out there. Now, it's all purple and sticky and hairy. It's a disaster. Now, here's what I'm saying, science has gotten way too far ahead of us.

1:05:04🔗 Drew Listen, it's the same thing as any other form of addiction. The addictions get more serious the more we altered chemicals. So when we came up with heroin, we came up with cocaine, when we came up with Valium and Xanax, people get more addicted. More and more. Now, they're changing the pot, making it more powerful.

1:05:20🔗 Adam Here's all I want. I don't want to be Squaresville. I want to toke out when I'm hanging with the cool people. But it's so potent now that I can barely handle it.

1:05:31🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:05:31🔗 Adam So I'm saying what I need is the version of a, whatever the equivalent to the wine cooler would be, because this is just straight whiskey.

1:05:40🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:05:40🔗 Adam You know what I mean? This is grain alcohol. And I don't want to get that effed up. But I wouldn't mind carrying around a Zima, equivalent to the pot.

1:05:50🔗 Drew Bartles and James.

1:05:51🔗 Adam Yeah, I just, I want to get a nice buzz going, but I don't want to spin out of control. See what I'm saying? So, if somebody could go ahead and create a weed that was, you know, they're working on the most potent stuff. I'd like them to work on some intermediate stuff.

1:06:06🔗 Drew So I can blow some spleef. Why don't you go easy on the dose? It might take a half a hit or something.

1:06:10🔗 Adam You know what? It's tough, especially when it's administered through the bong. Yeah. Because then it's like, the next thing you know, it's like, oh, pop the carb, oh, what's your cough? And now, now you're dead.

1:06:21🔗 Drew It's a one hit and you're screwed.

1:06:22🔗 Adam Oh my God.

1:06:23🔗 Drew Really?

1:06:23🔗 Adam Pot is potent now, Drew. Pot will jack your ass up.

1:06:28🔗 Caller Great.

1:06:30🔗 Adam Well, I'm just telling you.

1:06:31🔗 Drew Oh man.

1:06:31🔗 Adam I'm worried about you. That's why I'm telling you.

1:06:34🔗 Drew Thank you.

1:06:35🔗 Adam Now, all I'm saying is, if they could cut it with a little flower or something, literally flowers, they just put some potpourri or something, some oregano. I mean, I know it's like, it used to be the stuff you try to sell as pot. I need some of that stuff back in there, some parsley or something, thin it out just a little bit, and give me a shot. It's too good. It's scary.

1:06:58🔗 Drew I'm just confused why you can't take like a little bit.

1:07:01🔗 Adam Well, first off, do you know what you look like when someone gives you a bong and you're like, and they're still big? First off, you don't pop the bowl and the chamber's all filled with stuff.

1:07:13🔗 Drew All right, Your Highness.

1:07:14🔗 Adam You just, you seem gay.

1:07:17🔗 Drew You are gay. Or you want to be.

1:07:19🔗 Adam I'm trying to be gay.

1:07:20🔗 Drew Well, that's another way you can.

1:07:21🔗 Adam All right. Okay. Melanie? The gays can't smoke weed.

1:07:25🔗 Drew Can't?

1:07:26🔗 Adam Can.

1:07:26🔗 Caller Can.

1:07:28🔗 Drew They're cool.

1:07:29🔗 Adam Yeah. Oh, yeah. Hello? Yeah. Go ahead. What's up, baby doll?

1:07:36🔗 Drew Here you go. We're here.

1:07:38🔗 Caller Oh, hi.

1:07:39🔗 Adam Hey.

1:07:40🔗 Am I online? Yes, you are.

1:07:43🔗 Adam Yes, go.

1:07:44🔗 OK, so I have a question about phone sex etiquette. I want to know if there's sort of an expected turnaround phone call time limit, sort of an Emily Post of phone sex.

1:08:00🔗 Drew Usually, I understand. It's usually with somebody you know very well. You're trying to maintain a long distance.

1:08:04🔗 Somebody that I don't know at all.

1:08:07🔗 Drew There's no etiquette.

1:08:08🔗 Adam What happened?

1:08:11🔗 I got a phone call, a wrong phone number. Yeah. I called it back and it was somebody who I thought sounded attractive and we just started talking. Then after a few days, we ended up having phone sex.

1:08:25🔗 Drew Oh boy.

1:08:28🔗 Adam She just packed on 50 pounds too. How much do you weigh, Melanie?

1:08:32🔗 Huh?

1:08:33🔗 Adam Melanie, what's your weight?

1:08:35🔗 What's my weight?

1:08:37🔗 Adam Uh-oh. I just put another 15 on.

1:08:40🔗 Caller That's so cool.

1:08:41🔗 Adam Go ahead, baby. Seriously.

1:08:45🔗 140.

1:08:48🔗 Adam 140 plus 50?

1:08:50🔗 Drew Turn your radio off.

1:08:51🔗 Adam Please. I'll turn this radio. Is that a CB?

1:08:54🔗 Drew Turn your radio off.

1:08:56🔗 Adam Here's what people do. People come home, check their phone numbers, see a number that they don't recognize and call it back, or get hung up on or something. You know, you pick up the phone and it's just, it hangs up.

1:09:08🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:09:08🔗 Adam Which means somebody called you and recognized they didn't call you.

1:09:12🔗 Drew Right.

1:09:12🔗 Adam They tried to call somebody else.

1:09:13🔗 Drew Right.

1:09:14🔗 Adam Now, I don't know who those people are who want to confront those people or get to the bottom of it.

1:09:18🔗 Drew Yeah, that's a bad impulse.

1:09:20🔗 Adam It means you're super lonely or super angry or possibly both.

1:09:24🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:09:24🔗 Adam Like, if I pick up the phone and someone hung up, I just assume, no, they just called.

1:09:30🔗 Drew Mistake.

1:09:31🔗 Adam Yeah, they're expecting a chick's voice and they got me. Yeah. I really don't want to talk to those people. I want to talk to them less. Right. Then the next guy is going to call. I'm not really going to want to talk to you, but has to talk to me. That is a weird impulse when you call those people back. Why did you call that person back?

1:09:49🔗 Because I was bored on the beach and we were drunk and we thought it was funny.

1:09:54🔗 Adam Oh, just put another 20 pounds on. Then you got a guy and you have a crush on this guy, right?

1:10:04🔗 Caller No.

1:10:06🔗 Adam Why? What's funny about that?

1:10:08🔗 Why would I have a crush on him? I don't know him.

1:10:11🔗 Drew That's a healthy impulse not to have a crush.

1:10:13🔗 Adam No, it is. But you called him. You had an intimate. Why? Why would you have an intimate conversation with him?

1:10:17🔗 Drew She's able to compartmentalize this a little bit.

1:10:19🔗 Adam No, but she's now wanting to call back.

1:10:21🔗 Drew Yeah, that's a bad impulse.

1:10:22🔗 No, no. I don't want him to call back. It's not a matter of wanting him to call back. It's a matter of just sort of now rehashing it and wondering...

1:10:32🔗 Drew Why would you owe this guy something? Do you owe him something? You have no relationship. You're not attracted to him. You don't want to know him. You had this thing as a...

1:10:39🔗 I'm not saying I owe him or he owes me or any...

1:10:42🔗 Adam Right.

1:10:42🔗 There's no owing at all.

1:10:44🔗 Adam You don't have a boyfriend, right? No.

1:10:47🔗 Drew So why would you care about having etiquette in relation to someone whom doesn't exist to you?

1:10:53🔗 It's not so much about caring. It's more about a funny question.

1:10:56🔗 Drew Just a question. All right.

1:10:58🔗 It's just putting it out there.

1:11:00🔗 Drew Abstract question.

1:11:01🔗 Adam Yeah. All bets are off with this.

1:11:04🔗 Drew You don't owe anybody anything.

1:11:04🔗 Adam Are you going to call them back?

1:11:07🔗 No.

1:11:07🔗 Adam Huh?

1:11:08🔗 No. Why would I?

1:11:10🔗 Adam Why would you?

1:11:11🔗 Drew No, it's good. It's good.

1:11:12🔗 Adam No, I understand, but I can tell when someone's intrigued.

1:11:15🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:11:15🔗 Adam And when women are intrigued, they ask questions and they make statements and oftentimes they say, I don't care. I'm not interested. I'm not into him. But yet they're bringing it up.

1:11:23🔗 Drew I think she's a little compulsive is what it is.

1:11:25🔗 No, no, no.

1:11:25🔗 Drew It's sort of a rousing experience.

1:11:26🔗 Adam Intrigued is just a euphemism for compulsed.

1:11:30🔗 It's summer vacation with minimal things to do in a new city. It's just kind of fun. See?

1:11:35🔗 Drew There you go.

1:11:35🔗 Adam Yeah. All right. Look, if you want to call the guy, call him.

1:11:39🔗 No, no, no. That's not a problem.

1:11:40🔗 Drew I won't meet him, though.

1:11:41🔗 Caller No, no, no, no, no, no. No, no.

1:11:44🔗 Drew Yes, thank you.

1:11:45🔗 Adam But it's just, you know, you understand, summer, not much going on.

1:11:50🔗 Well, I know there's a lot going on.

1:11:51🔗 Adam All right. What are you doing in this new city?

1:11:55🔗 Working.

1:11:57🔗 Adam All right.

1:11:59🔗 Drew Good.

1:11:59🔗 Adam Could you go back to whatever city you came from, please?

1:12:01🔗 Drew What kind of working does one do?

1:12:04🔗 I'm a therapist.

1:12:07🔗 Adam All right.

1:12:09🔗 Drew Wait a minute. Wait a minute. That's not right.

1:12:12🔗 No, I swear to God I am.

1:12:14🔗 Drew Are you doing your clinical hours now?

1:12:16🔗 No, I'm licensed.

1:12:19🔗 Drew What's LCSW or what do you have, PsyD?

1:12:21🔗 LMHC.

1:12:23🔗 Drew MFT?

1:12:25🔗 No, LMHC. It's like an LMFT, but it's different in Massachusetts.

1:12:30🔗 Drew Yeah, you don't have a license here in California.

1:12:33🔗 No, I'm still in the process of...

1:12:35🔗 Drew Right, don't you have to do some clinical hours here?

1:12:38🔗 No, I've done my clinical hours.

1:12:40🔗 Drew They'll transfer?

1:12:41🔗 Yeah.

1:12:42🔗 Drew Okay.

1:12:42🔗 Adam Wow.

1:12:43🔗 All right.

1:12:44🔗 Adam And this could be someone's therapist?

1:12:49🔗 Caller Awesome.

1:12:50🔗 Adam All right. No boundaries. All right, Melanie.

1:12:53🔗 Drew No, she does have boundaries.

1:12:54🔗 Adam I know. She's a little nutty too though. My call shrinks. All right. Look, here's all I'm saying. There are no rules. Just right, as they say, the Outback Steakhouse. But here's the thing. If you want to call this guy back and diddle yourself, I will not judge. No, I'm not. All right. That's all I'm saying. That's all I'm saying. I had a weird thing like this happen to me when I was like 21.

1:13:19🔗 Caller What?

1:13:21🔗 Adam I had some chick call. And I had to this day have no idea. If you go back and take a look at your life, there's probably, if you'd led a fairly interesting life, moved around a little, seen a few people, done a few things. There's probably 20 things where you just couldn't explain them. Some from childhood, some from adult, like you think as you go back and go over it in your mind's eye, you think, I have no idea why that person did that, or who called who, or if that was a coincidence, were they screwing with me, or were they stalking me, or did I know them? Chick called in my apartment. I must have just talked to her, and I think she just wanted to have phone sex. I wasn't about phone sex. I was like, bring it on over. Let me have a look at you. She was like, she just wanted the phone. I promise you I'm hot, but let's have phone sex kind of thing. I was like, well, if you're hot, you got nothing to hide, come on down. You're really sound, come on. I was rock bottom in my life because it was age zero to 30. So I was at rock bottom. For those years. Yeah, for those 30 years. I never called her. She said she was a nursing student, said she lived in Bel Air, described herself like 30,000 times. I just kept saying, look, I'm just coming over there, let's go. And she never went. And she did. And eventually I went to go find her. Like she told me to go meet her somewhere. And I went. She was never there. I don't think I ever heard from her again. And I have no idea what it was.

1:14:57🔗 Drew Wrong number.

1:14:58🔗 Adam I don't know if it started as a wrong number. I don't know if she somehow knew me. I don't know if someone put her up to it. It went on for months. I didn't never want to do the phone.

1:15:06🔗 Drew She's listening. She should call in now. See if you can identify her.

1:15:08🔗 Adam Never want to do the phone sex thing. Drew is a man of passion. As a man of passion, I could make arguments for you doing the phone sex thing.

1:15:15🔗 Drew I suppose.

1:15:16🔗 Adam But, no. You and I are very much akin in many sexual sides of the bed. No, we're not into the cornhole. We don't want to talk about it. To me, you know what phone sex is like to me? It's like if I was in prison and I said, where are you, Drew? And you said, oh, I'm at a Ruth Chris steakhouse. And I said, read me the menu.

1:15:40🔗 Drew Oh, yeah, right. It's brutal. Painful.

1:15:42🔗 Adam It's painful.

1:15:43🔗 Drew Yeah, right. Yeah, forget it.

1:15:44🔗 Adam Read me the menu. No, look, either bring over steak or hang up the phone.

1:15:48🔗 Drew Now, I might want to hear, here's the part that the-

1:15:51🔗 Adam If you ate a really good steak, you could belch on me.

1:15:53🔗 Drew I might want to hear about how you appreciated it.

1:15:56🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:15:56🔗 Drew Your experience. And so that the phone sex thing is sort of, you sense what the person is experiencing.

1:16:01🔗 Adam I'm just saying, if I can't pull up a plate.

1:16:04🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:16:05🔗 Drew So basically, when I call you later tonight, you're saying we can't.

1:16:08🔗 Adam No phone sex tonight. I'm glad you got that subtle message. We'll take a quick break, be back with some Germany or Florida after this.

1:16:17🔗 Caller Loveline, will be right back.

1:16:19🔗 Adam Ready for something new? Try Durex tingling condoms. There's sex and then there's Durex. Yeah, everybody. It's Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Let me tell you something, everybody. I use a condom. That's my thing. I put it over my head and I blow it up like how we man down.

1:17:09🔗 Drew Nice. That's good.

1:17:10🔗 Adam And one lucky person tonight is going to win a Durex Party Pack. That's Party Pack includes CDs, poker set, and money, cash, money.

1:17:20🔗 Drew And condoms.

1:17:21🔗 Adam Of course, those Durex condoms are going to come in the Party Pack. Each night this week, Dr. Drew is going to decide on the best call of the night, and that person is going to win himself a Party Pack. The winner must be 18 years or older to win, brought to you by Durex. They're sex, and then there's Durex. And now, it is time to play a little something we call Germany or Florida. Ricky?

1:17:46🔗 Caller Adam.

1:17:47🔗 Drew Corolla.

1:17:48🔗 Adam Adam.

1:17:49🔗 Caller I do. I'm a huge fan. Can't wait for your show on Comedy Central.

1:17:52🔗 Adam Thank you.

1:17:52🔗 Caller And Drew, I read your book, Crack, loved it, and did a book report on it. Got an A.

1:17:57🔗 Drew Wow, Ricky, I'm impressed. Thank you.

1:17:59🔗 Adam That was me in my grades from high school.

1:18:01🔗 Drew I saw them. Ricky, you should have seen that transcript.

1:18:07🔗 Adam Yeah, I brought my transcripts in on Thursday. I got from high school and junior high, and it was a disaster.

1:18:16🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:18:16🔗 Adam Lots of D-U-U's, D-U-S's.

1:18:19🔗 Drew Oh, zeros.

1:18:19🔗 Adam A couple of zeros, a couple of fails in there.

1:18:22🔗 Drew A in football and basketball.

1:18:24🔗 Adam Football and baseball.

1:18:26🔗 Drew Anyway, what's up, Ricky?

1:18:27🔗 Caller Here we go. Germany or Florida, a man earned the title of the vampire rapist after he picked up a young female hitchhiker, and while holding her prisoner over a 22-hour period, raped her and then used a needle and tubing to drain and a considerable portion of her blood into a jar, which he then consumed. Some miracle, the woman, even though weakened by the loss of blood, escaped and the man was subsequently arrested and sent to 25 years in prison. Germany or Florida.

1:18:55🔗 Drew I was just feeling Germany.

1:18:57🔗 Adam Felt German. Felt German from the word go to me.

1:18:59🔗 Drew All the tubing and everything, the little technical.

1:19:01🔗 Adam Training, the tubing. Little abduction and raping.

1:19:05🔗 Drew High tech.

1:19:06🔗 Adam And the- Yeah, the part where you imprison.

1:19:10🔗 Drew Also Germany?

1:19:12🔗 Adam Well, here's the thing.

1:19:13🔗 Drew Floridians get right to it.

1:19:14🔗 Adam Floridians just rape by the side of the road and keep moving because there's more to rape.

1:19:19🔗 Drew There's rape and kill.

1:19:20🔗 Adam Yeah, yeah. Yeah, rape and dump. R&D they call it. And I know a lot of people who know big businesses have an R&D department. It's different.

1:19:29🔗 Drew In Florida.

1:19:29🔗 Adam In some.

1:19:30🔗 Drew In Florida.

1:19:30🔗 Adam But in- Yes, if they're in Florida. Oh, if you're talking to a big company, even Disney, and they talk about R&D, they're talking about rape and dump. All right. Ricky?

1:19:41🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:19:41🔗 Adam We're going Germany.

1:19:43🔗 Caller Germany?

1:19:43🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:19:44🔗 Adam We're both going Germany.

1:19:45🔗 Caller Happened near Melbourne, Florida.

1:19:48🔗 Drew Wow. Good one.

1:19:50🔗 Adam Brutal. Nice job, Ricky.

1:19:51🔗 Drew Well done.

1:19:52🔗 Adam Depressing, but nice one.

1:19:53🔗 Drew No, no. That's good. No way we-

1:19:55🔗 Adam I mean for the person.

1:19:56🔗 Drew That's how the game was played. Yeah.

1:19:57🔗 Adam No, that's how the game is. I was talking about the woman who was-

1:20:00🔗 Drew Oh, I see.

1:20:01🔗 Adam Drained of blood and raped, or raped and depressing for her. I see. Sad. Yeah.

1:20:04🔗 Drew Not for us.

1:20:05🔗 Adam I was in a way a greater tragedy for us.

1:20:08🔗 Drew Yeah. I mean, yeah.

1:20:09🔗 Adam We have to live with this stigma.

1:20:10🔗 Drew Brutal.

1:20:11🔗 Adam She'll be over in a few years of therapy. All right, Ricky. Thank you. That's why they call it Germany or Florida.

1:20:17🔗 Drew That's right.

1:20:17🔗 Caller I think that's great. All right.

1:20:19🔗 Adam Thanks, buddy. We haven't been stumped in a while. So again, mazel tov. Shirley.

1:20:24🔗 Drew Hey.

1:20:25🔗 Adam 18. What's up, baby?

1:20:27🔗 Drew Hey, listen. Just with that attitude.

1:20:30🔗 Adam Oh, yeah.

1:20:31🔗 Drew She's got it.

1:20:31🔗 Adam Yeah. Are you multi-orgasmic?

1:20:34🔗 Drew No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

1:20:35🔗 Adam Oh, you're getting the Durax.

1:20:36🔗 Drew Yeah, yeah.

1:20:37🔗 Adam Sorry. Thought that was something else.

1:20:39🔗 Caller What's up?

1:20:40🔗 Adam What's up? Hey, we're going to give you the Durax Party Pack because you are spunky, baby.

1:20:47🔗 Caller You want to give me the Durax Party Pack because I'm spunky.

1:20:50🔗 Adam Yeah. And it also means someone is sitting next to you.

1:20:54🔗 Caller So you could repeat it.

1:20:55🔗 Adam So they can hear it too. That's the only time people talk like they're in movies. Meet you at the old Chelsea Pier at midnight. Warf 9.

1:21:05🔗 Drew You want to meet me at the old Chelsea Pier?

1:21:10🔗 Adam How often do you actually say stuff out loud?

1:21:13🔗 Drew You want to give me the Durax Party Pack?

1:21:16🔗 Adam Yeah, because I'm a spunky caller. Yeah.

1:21:20🔗 Caller Oh, my.

1:21:21🔗 Adam But it either means someone is sitting next to you, you're in a movie, or you're really stupid.

1:21:27🔗 Drew Or you're buying time.

1:21:29🔗 Adam You're trying to buy time or dumb. I realize dumb people repeat punch lines out loud.

1:21:33🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:21:34🔗 Drew Yeah, yeah. It's true.

1:21:36🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:21:37🔗 Drew Well, it's good. They're trying to buy time to digest the joke.

1:21:40🔗 Adam Right. All right. Who's next to you?

1:21:43🔗 Caller Who's next to me? My boyfriend.

1:21:45🔗 Adam All right.

1:21:45🔗 Drew Stop repeating what Adam asks you. He's going to declare you impaired.

1:21:50🔗 Adam I will strip you of your party pack.

1:21:52🔗 Caller Oh, fine.

1:21:53🔗 Adam And bid you good day.

1:21:55🔗 Drew So what's going on?

1:21:57🔗 Caller I want to know where the male G-spot is, and I want to know how to find it.

1:22:01🔗 Drew There isn't one.

1:22:03🔗 Adam God bless you for looking.

1:22:04🔗 Drew There isn't one. There isn't one. Some men, and I mean a small minority, like their prostate massage. There's a larger minority that like the outside of the Tokai and stimulate it a little bit. But it's very unusual to like things put up there. That's unusual. So do not believe the crap that's in the women's magazines about that.

1:22:34🔗 Adam All right. All right, Spunky. She started off Spunky, but she got a little drunky later on in the call.

1:22:40🔗 Drew Yes.

1:22:41🔗 Adam We're still going to give her the party pack.

1:22:42🔗 Drew Why not?

1:22:44🔗 Adam I'll give her the party pack because she's 18 and named Shirley.

1:22:46🔗 Drew Is she? Yeah.

1:22:47🔗 Adam There's nobody named 18 and named Shirley anymore. So hang on and don't hang up on Shirley. Give her that party pack. Greg.

1:22:56🔗 Caller Hey, what's up?

1:22:57🔗 Drew What's happening?

1:22:58🔗 Caller Yeah, I have this question for Drew. Yeah, I have a condition called retarded ejaculation.

1:23:05🔗 Drew Not retrograde, but retarded.

1:23:07🔗 Adam I'm going retrograde.

1:23:08🔗 Drew You mean retrograde?

1:23:10🔗 Caller No, they put it down as retarded ejaculation.

1:23:13🔗 Drew So it takes you forever to have an orgasm?

1:23:16🔗 Caller If at all.

1:23:18🔗 Drew Okay.

1:23:21🔗 Caller I've gotten to the point where it feels like a whole lot of irritation.

1:23:26🔗 Drew Right.

1:23:26🔗 Caller And then it hurts for a long time. It hurts for like four or five hours.

1:23:30🔗 Drew My goodness. Well, the list of problems that can cause that is huge. Are you getting a workup done?

1:23:37🔗 Caller Yes, I'm going in.

1:23:38🔗 Drew I mean, everything from abnormalities of the ducts that lead out of the seminal vesicles, abnormalities of the testes, abnormalities of semen production, abnormalities of hormonal. Are you otherwise normal in terms of height, stature, hair distribution, that kind of thing?

1:23:54🔗 Caller Yeah, I'm 6'1, so.

1:23:56🔗 Drew And you got normal hair everywhere? Normal hair and normal everything. Were you ever able to ejaculate more normally?

1:24:04🔗 Caller I'd say like a long time ago when I was like 14 or so.

1:24:07🔗 Drew Uh-oh. Have you been smoking pot every day or something since then, or doing something bad for yourself?

1:24:11🔗 Caller No, I've never smoked pot.

1:24:13🔗 Drew And anything you've been doing bad to yourself? Steroids?

1:24:16🔗 Caller No.

1:24:17🔗 Adam All right. So when was the last time you ejaculated?

1:24:20🔗 Drew Normally.

1:24:22🔗 Caller Normally, I'd have to say the 14th.

1:24:26🔗 Drew And how about just the last time you did?

1:24:27🔗 Adam I don't mean normally. I just mean the last time something came out.

1:24:31🔗 Caller Okay. I'd say like a year ago. It was a small, like, kind of like flow of clear, crystal clear.

1:24:43🔗 Drew Do you have a normal sex drive?

1:24:45🔗 Caller Yes.

1:24:46🔗 Drew And do you have orgasms without ejaculating?

1:24:50🔗 Caller Kind of, but not really.

1:24:52🔗 Drew Well, this is going to take some work. You're going to need MRIs. I mean, this is going to take some time. You've got to see a urologist and probably a neurologist.

1:25:01🔗 Caller It's going to take a while.

1:25:02🔗 Adam Wow. Yeah, you've got to go get checked out.

1:25:04🔗 Drew Yeah. That's an organic problem causing that.

1:25:08🔗 Adam Yeah, I don't know. Yeah, I mean, that's not depressed at 21, and that's not anything at 21. That's just, there's something going on.

1:25:16🔗 Drew Biological going on.

1:25:18🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:25:19🔗 Drew Spinal cord tumors, a lot of different things.

1:25:20🔗 Adam All right.

1:25:21🔗 Drew We've got something very weird going on with our phone carrier here.

1:25:23🔗 Adam Yeah, that's all right.

1:25:23🔗 Drew You can't put them on hold, Anderson.

1:25:26🔗 Adam That's all right. We'll take a break.

1:25:27🔗 Drew We'll take a break. Yeah.

1:25:28🔗 Adam All right, Greg. Godspeed to you.

1:25:30🔗 Good luck.

1:25:31🔗 Adam I would like to have given that Durex party pack, but what's he going to do with the condoms?

1:25:35🔗 Drew There you go, Sam. He doesn't need them. Nothing's coming out.

1:25:37🔗 Adam Well, at four hours, he's going to wear a hole in one of those things before something actually comes out.

1:25:42🔗 Drew A year since something came out.

1:25:45🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:25:46🔗 Drew No. You all right? You okay, Adam? A year.

1:25:48🔗 Adam No. I mean, I'm not a man of passion, but one who's absorbed some of your passion.

1:25:55🔗 Drew Well, no. On my Discovery Health Show, that's strictly a sex show, we had a urologist on where I said, look, what if you had a man that wasn't ejaculating? It's like, oh, my goodness. I mean, stuff's not coming out of him. That is a biological problem. We got to work that out. All right.

1:26:08🔗 Adam Especially 21. I will take a quick break, be right back after this. You guys know the system of it now. All right, let's get back to the phone. So, what do we say there, Drew? There we go. Talk to Callie. Callie 16. Callie?

1:27:10🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:27:11🔗 Adam What's up?

1:27:12🔗 Caller I was raped three days ago and I took the day after pill, but I'm kind of scared and I don't know if it's going to work right.

1:27:20🔗 Drew Well, if you take it within 24 hours, it's over 80 percent effective at preventing a pregnancy.

1:27:25🔗 Adam Who raped you?

1:27:27🔗 Caller I, my uncle's friend was over here and my uncle really trusts him, but I ended up drinking quite a bit and I passed out.

1:27:40🔗 Drew Did you report this to anybody?

1:27:42🔗 Caller Yeah, it's already been reported to the police.

1:27:44🔗 Drew Excellent. Well done.

1:27:45🔗 Adam How good. How old is your uncle's friend?

1:27:51🔗 Caller Forty-one.

1:27:55🔗 Adam Well, first off, what the, here's what happens. Here's what happens with these white trash broods is everyone starts crashing at everyone's place, uncle's and uncle's buddies and everyone's just sleeping over in the same 1200 square foot house and then there's boos and then there's trouble. No. Why is your uncle sleeping over there? Why is he sleeping over there with his friend?

1:28:18🔗 Caller No, I live with my uncle.

1:28:21🔗 Adam Now? Now it's worse. Did your uncle find out about this?

1:28:26🔗 Caller Yeah. Good.

1:28:27🔗 Adam What's he think about it?

1:28:29🔗 Caller He was very pissed off. He didn't think his friend would do that.

1:28:33🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:28:34🔗 Caller I didn't even think so. That's why I thought it would be okay.

1:28:37🔗 Drew Were you a virgin before that?

1:28:39🔗 Caller No.

1:28:39🔗 Adam No. Why are you living with your uncle though? Because that's going to help it.

1:28:44🔗 Caller My mom passed away a year and a half ago and I was living with my friend. But.

1:28:48🔗 Drew Where did your mom die from?

1:28:50🔗 Caller A cirrhosis of the liver and hepatitis.

1:28:52🔗 Drew Oh boy. So she was-

1:28:53🔗 Adam Alcoholic? Yeah.

1:28:54🔗 Drew Alcoholic.

1:28:54🔗 Adam Oh hepatitis. Yeah. Drug addict. Yeah.

1:28:59🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:28:59🔗 Caller Wow.

1:29:00🔗 Adam A little bit.

1:29:02🔗 Drew Yeah. Quite a little bit.

1:29:02🔗 Adam I'm going to go with a lot.

1:29:03🔗 Drew Quite a little bit.

1:29:04🔗 Caller Well.

1:29:04🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:29:05🔗 Caller When she had me she quit doing the hard drugs.

1:29:10🔗 Drew But she kept drinking.

1:29:11🔗 Caller Yes.

1:29:11🔗 Drew That's what happens with hepatitis C, chronic hepatitis C.

1:29:14🔗 Adam Oh, the liver.

1:29:15🔗 Drew Oh, you're talking liver. Yeah.

1:29:16🔗 Adam Oh yeah.

1:29:16🔗 Drew She has cirrhosis. The liver failure. If she drank on chronic hepatitis C.

1:29:20🔗 Adam You could not have hepatitis and drink and probably get away. Your liver could get away with it until you're 60.

1:29:25🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:29:26🔗 Adam But if you have hepatitis, you're going to go at 35.

1:29:29🔗 Drew You're done for, yeah. Toast.

1:29:31🔗 Adam Because hepatitis goes after your liver and the booze goes after it. It's like eating Tylenol and drinking every night.

1:29:36🔗 Drew It's way worse.

1:29:37🔗 Adam Well, what I mean is-

1:29:40🔗 Drew It's synergistic.

1:29:40🔗 Adam You've ratcheted up the level.

1:29:43🔗 Drew It is, but this way. Women, although they're five times more likely than men to get cirrhosis, could drink their whole life and not get cirrhosis.

1:29:50🔗 Adam Women are five times more likely than men? Five times.

1:29:54🔗 Drew Five times.

1:29:55🔗 Adam Never hear about that.

1:29:56🔗 Drew Yeah. They lack an enzyme in their stomach called the centella dehydrogenase.

1:29:59🔗 Adam It's the one that makes them good at math. Is there an enzyme that makes you good at math?

1:30:03🔗 Drew Here's the deal. If you have chronic hepatitis C and you drink, you are going to get cirrhosis, period. End of story.

1:30:07🔗 Caller I don't have it. I've already been tested.

1:30:09🔗 Drew Good. I wasn't speaking to you, though, sort of more to the powers that be.

1:30:15🔗 Adam So you reported this to the police?

1:30:17🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:30:18🔗 Adam Where's your dad? Or should I even ask?

1:30:20🔗 Caller I don't have a dad.

1:30:22🔗 Adam All right.

1:30:23🔗 Drew Kelly, where did you get the morning after pill?

1:30:25🔗 Caller My cousin had it. She moved to Utah, and when she left, she left all of her stuff, and she had it in her stuff. I found it in her top drawer.

1:30:34🔗 Drew Which one? Plan B?

1:30:36🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:30:38🔗 Adam It's always a bad sign when you move and you leave all your stuff.

1:30:41🔗 Drew Yeah. That's more like fleeing.

1:30:44🔗 Adam That's what you do when your village is on fire, when you're going to college.

1:30:47🔗 Drew You flee.

1:30:48🔗 Adam You flee. Is there a difference between fleeing and moving?

1:30:50🔗 Caller She had, she went to go live with her boyfriend. So.

1:30:54🔗 Drew And she fled her parents.

1:30:56🔗 Adam Decided one evening to head out? I mean.

1:30:59🔗 Caller No, he called her and said he wanted her to move out there and then he missed her and she just left.

1:31:05🔗 Adam She didn't bother packing up her stuff?

1:31:07🔗 Caller She packed most of it. She packed what she needed.

1:31:10🔗 Adam All right.

1:31:11🔗 Drew We'll sack with them. Polka dots on us.

1:31:13🔗 Adam A little rucksack. Yeah, I wish she would have taken that Plan B, but now I'm glad you got it.

1:31:17🔗 Drew Oh, wait a minute, if you went to the police, didn't they take you to social services or emergency room or whatnot?

1:31:23🔗 Caller Well, I kind of didn't, you know, how you get sore after you have sex if you're not used to it.

1:31:28🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:31:29🔗 Caller I didn't get sore until after I talked to the police like the next day.

1:31:33🔗 Drew Yeah, but Callie, as part of the...

1:31:35🔗 Adam That's not what we're talking about.

1:31:37🔗 Drew Part of the forensic examination in order to build a case, they have to collect evidence.

1:31:41🔗 Adam Okay, now there's something wrong.

1:31:43🔗 Drew Right.

1:31:43🔗 Adam What did you tell the police? Did you tell them you were raped?

1:31:46🔗 Caller I didn't know, because I blacked out.

1:31:48🔗 Drew Why did you go to the police then?

1:31:50🔗 Caller My uncle called them.

1:31:51🔗 Drew For what?

1:31:52🔗 Caller To report it.

1:31:54🔗 Drew Report what? You blacked out, you didn't know anything.

1:31:57🔗 Caller Well, he thought something went on.

1:31:58🔗 Drew Why did he? Is it getting bogus on me?

1:32:00🔗 Adam Is it getting bogus? No, it's just getting victim. It's getting stupid victim.

1:32:05🔗 Caller No, I'm not a bogus caller. I listen to your guys' issue all the time.

1:32:08🔗 Caller All right.

1:32:10🔗 Adam But hold on a second. The police were summoned to the home, yes? Yes.

1:32:18🔗 Drew Why? What tipped your uncle off?

1:32:20🔗 Caller He found me passed out without pants on.

1:32:24🔗 Adam Okay.

1:32:24🔗 Drew Okay.

1:32:24🔗 Adam He called the police and police showed up, but you didn't tell the police you had sex with anyone?

1:32:29🔗 Caller I didn't really, because this happened before and I didn't really.

1:32:34🔗 Adam No, no. All right. Hold on a second. See, this is, it's coming into focus for me. Because when we said three minutes ago on the call, oh, you went to the police, oh, good for you. I thought, no, wait a minute. Yeah. She didn't. This poor chick who's been victimized her whole life with the alcoholic mom, the drugs, and the abs, and the dance, and her just picking herself up and going to the cops after being victimized. This did not make sense at all to me. But I just said, screw it, we did the right thing, let's keep moving. Didn't make sense. Now the cops showing up at the house or at the trailer, that makes sense to me.

1:33:07🔗 Drew How dare you?

1:33:08🔗 Adam And her not filling them in on what went on.

1:33:11🔗 Drew Makes sense.

1:33:11🔗 Adam Makes sense. So what didn't make sense four minutes ago now makes perfect sense.

1:33:16🔗 Drew So you never actually reported the rape to the police?

1:33:19🔗 Caller No.

1:33:19🔗 Drew Okay.

1:33:20🔗 Caller I did the first time, but nothing happened, so I didn't this time.

1:33:25🔗 Adam I don't know what that means.

1:33:26🔗 Drew She means the last time this kind of thing happened to her.

1:33:29🔗 Caller It happened three months ago, and now it happened again.

1:33:32🔗 Adam Okay. And I should suspect it will keep happening.

1:33:37🔗 Drew Yeah. You got to be careful. You need to get some help.

1:33:39🔗 Adam Callie, you got to get help, baby.

1:33:41🔗 Drew You've shown a tiny bit of willingness to come to your own defense. That was by taking that morning after pill and not just sort of letting things happen.

1:33:50🔗 Caller Well, that's because I don't want a baby.

1:33:52🔗 Drew I know, but you came to your own defense that way. Let that be the beginning of a whole procedure that you follow where you get help, get support, start taking care of yourself, just a tiny step forward.

1:34:04🔗 Adam I'm sorry for what's happened to you, but now you're going to have to take control of your life and get yourself some help.

1:34:10🔗 Caller Yeah, I'm doing counseling. I do group and I do the one-on-one.

1:34:15🔗 Drew Good. Keep it going. Tell them what happened. They may still need to report it just to sort of get you used to defending yourself. Nothing will happen. It's still important that you come to your own defense.

1:34:25🔗 Adam It is so amazing when stuff doesn't make sense. Yeah. But it just didn't make sense for a second that this voice, that this victim with the uncle and the alcohol and the old guy and everything, just would just pick up and go to the police. Just did not for a heartbeat did it fit in. Now, we don't like the profile.

1:34:46🔗 Drew No, of course not.

1:34:46🔗 Adam That's a horrible thing. It's horrible to profile unless you actually want to get some results or try to base it.

1:34:52🔗 Drew Or understand people.

1:34:53🔗 Adam Or understand people or try to figure out something that might happen before. Before the tragedy happens. Other than that, other than those things.

1:34:59🔗 Drew Why would you?

1:35:00🔗 Adam Yeah, other than trying not to get swarthy guys from Middle East to fly airplanes into the sides.

1:35:05🔗 Drew And or victims to be victimized by victims and victimizers.

1:35:08🔗 Adam Yeah, profiling is horrible unless you want to prevent that stuff from happening in advance. Other than that, it's a horrible, horrible thing that shouldn't be tolerated by society except for the part where you actually save tons of people lives and you save people from being victimized over and over again. Other than that, horrible thing is profile. So, that's really the one thing you could say for it. The one thing you might be able to say for profiling, other than that, is the folks at World Trade Center may still be around. But other than that, there's really nothing you could say about it. So, it's a bad thing, yes?

1:35:35🔗 Drew Of course.

1:35:36🔗 Adam You can't do it. It's impossible. I dare you.

1:35:37🔗 Drew I say good day.

1:35:38🔗 Adam Judging is like profiling. They're both impossible to do. All right. Anyway, we'll be back. That's the show, everyone. Thanks for tagging along. Eddie Griffin from Deuce Bigelow coming in a little bit later. This week, that's fine.

1:36:43🔗 Drew And then Rob Schneider, too.

1:36:44🔗 Adam And then Rob Schneider. Well, maybe that's next week, right? Pennywise this week?

1:36:50🔗 Caller All right.

1:36:51🔗 Adam Oh, Rob Thursday. That's right. All right. So until next time, it's Adam Carolla for Dr. Drew saying mahalo. I choose to be a blowhard who has no actual information, you see.

1:37:04🔗 Caller This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or this station. The producer for Loveline is Aningold. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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