1:20🔗VoiceoverHey, everybody. It's Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Dr. Drew is a board certified physician and addiction medicine specialist. Tyson Chris here tonight from The All American Rejects.
1:35🔗The All American RejectsHey, it's good to be here.
1:37🔗AdamNick and Mike will rotate in at some point. Great to have you. All American Rejects. Let me tell you this about The All American Rejects. The Move Along CD came out a couple days ago. I'll give you some more stuff on where the band is going to be and perform and all that stuff. But we got a lot of bands in here and they give us a lot of CDs. I just throw them in the back of my car and they're all around for a while. Then I give them to the Mexican guys who work at my house. God knows what they do with them.
2:05🔗The All American RejectsAs long as they do good work.
2:07🔗AdamThe All American Rejects, their last CD, there was a song on it I really liked. So I listened to it and then I got really fond of the CD. And I've decided these guys are okay.
2:32🔗AdamI think the All American Rejects actually know something. They're not just, they're punk kids, but they're not fresh punk kids. You see what I'm saying?
2:44🔗The All American RejectsWe're corn fed. We're different.
2:46🔗AdamI'm trying to figure out like what they're from Stillwater, Oklahoma, but I'm trying to figure out what the rap is on Oklahoma. I mean, if there is one, what do you say?
2:56🔗AdamYeah, like states have, people make fun of California, because you gaze with your tofu and all that kind of stuff, and then New York's a bunch of cabbies honking horns and all that stuff. Then you have your parts, you have your Bible belt and all that. What is the Oklahoma? Oklahoma, you got a little of that S kicker in you, but not quite enough to really be comical. You know what I mean?
3:50🔗AdamNo, no. Let me explain something about the Jamba juice. You can't tell people that spend five bucks and get a Mexican combo plate that they can spend the same five dollars and get a 12 ounce juice. You know what I mean? They're like, are you kidding? You have to have money and you have to be really into your intestinal health to do this because if a Jamba juice was a buck 29, maybe these guys, I mean they're working class guys, we'd think about it, but you can go to the bunch of lunch or Shakey's and for the same price as a juice, eat like a king.
4:27🔗DrewThe Jamba juice has about the same nutritional sort of qualities as a McFlurry.
4:34🔗The All American RejectsJust get a shot of wheatgrass.
4:36🔗AdamIt's awesome and I'll tell you man, you get that beet juice baby, goes through you like ass through a tin horn. Yes, it's my old Pop Warner football coach, he used to say, you guys are getting blown out like ass through a goose. A bunch of nine year olds, but this guy in the windbreaker scaring me. I see my dad, I think he's beating on me. Is he allowed to do this? By the way, this was during a time when it was okay for adults to beat on strange kids. They didn't have to be your own kid. Now you can't even beat the crap out of your own kid. Back then, Pop Warner coach, he just opened a can of whoop ass on a 10 year old, wouldn't do that thing where he grabs the face, wears it, go, go.
5:37🔗AdamAll right. Where were we? And then of course, the greatest insult the Pop Warner coach could ever levy is, OK, ladies, yeah, that one, too. And whenever you get that gender confusion, it's real tough. That's OK, ladies.
6:00🔗AdamAll right. So here's the thing about the All American Rejects. They are going to be performing at the Apple Store at the Grove. Is that tomorrow night? What's today? The 15th? I don't know what today is.
6:22🔗Adam14th. All right. So today's Thursday. So they're going to be there at seven o'clock on Saturday. And it's a free concert, but you got to get there early because there's no way.
6:32🔗The All American RejectsThey're giving away computers, people.
7:13🔗AdamYeah. Yeah. I'm I don't know, you know, you know, Pete Crouds, you know, that kind of thing. He family, you know, my feeling about those three things. Danielle.
7:30🔗The All American RejectsWell, I have this problem. Okay. I lost my virginity six months ago. And in that time and this time, I slept with three different guys. And the ladies at one of my jobs is calling me a slut and telling me that I'm on my way to being a whore. And the guys at my other job are saying, oh no, no, you know, you're not, you're not even close to it.
7:55🔗DrewSo the guys are on your side, the women are shunning you.
7:58🔗AdamI think there may be ladies on both sides.
8:01🔗DrewAre you a stripper? Is it women in both places?
8:03🔗AdamShe works a gift store at a church and then also a strip club.
8:07🔗The All American RejectsNo, I work in a factory and in a nursing home.
8:16🔗DrewI understand that. But listen, okay, here's the deal, Daniel. Let me give you a little tale of the story here. When people study this sort of double standard about men and women, you know, men being cool to have lots of partners and women being a slut if they have lots of partners, it turns out that the vast majority of that double standard is maintained by women.
8:34🔗DrewThat women are the ones that go, oh, stay away from her. They literally enlist their male friends to stay away from the wayward vagina. And this goes all the way back to chimpanzee.
8:47🔗DrewAll the way back to chimpanzees. Chimpanzees, when one female acts out, all the rest of the chimpanzee females in the pod will turn their backs and shun that one. So this is something deep in our heritage, but it's nonsense. It's something that women do to one another and they should go ahead and stop.
9:03🔗AdamHey, Wayward Johnson also sounds like a film starring John Wayne and Van Johnson from 1963. They start with that weird wind, sort of wagon trains going east on the Mississippi. Guy playing a guitar alone on a plane, mounted on a steed. Danielle?
10:12🔗AdamAll right, so that's fine. Why don't you stop telling people you work with what you're doing on the weekends?
10:18🔗The All American RejectsWell, the ladies that I work... I mean, ladies talk, women talk. Well, then the guys, they kind of pressure you into talking, and it's like...
11:14🔗AdamI know. It's amazing what we make. There's a certain gene that everyone who calls this show has, which is this sort of misunderstanding gene. And it's the one. It's like where you're going. The person's going, all right, so just go up with it. Boulevard and make a left. And you're like, right.
11:42🔗AdamAbout $12 an hour. No matter what, you can figure out a way to twist it. If it wasn't colossal stupidity, it would be diabolical gene. It's genius because the human mind can't work that fast.
12:39🔗DrewAnd by the way, if you were as uncomfortable, as hot as I was, I'm hot. You'd be having a tizzy fit, screaming at this organization to fix this thing.
12:48🔗AdamI'm uncomfortable, but you fanning like a maniac next to me is not doing anything for me. And you're probably overheating because of the rapid arm movement.
12:58🔗The All American RejectsThat's what's called getting tizzy.
13:00🔗AdamGetting tizzy with Lizzie. Go ahead, Lizzie.
13:05🔗You guys make me laugh. Well, first of all, I just want to tell your guests that the last song from your first album is so wonderful. And I'm so bummed you guys aren't really coming to Kansas City this tour. Although I did just look at your website and you're going to one of the best shows, one of the best places in Berlin. So I want to ask you well. Okay, Adam, I'm Jewish and I know this is the kind of stuff that makes you crazy. So please be kind to me. And I'll ask my question quickly, I promise. Okay, hold on a second, Lizzie, hold on.
13:37🔗AdamI have a limited time, see, what I have is I have a time limit that's very different from Jew to Gentile in terms of asking questions. I keep the Jews in a very short leash. And then if you're Gentile, I give you carte blanche, you can ask as many questions as long as you want. But if I find out you're Jewish, you got about 30 seconds to make your point and then the records catch you off.
14:06🔗AdamAll right, Lizzie. Listen, if I didn't care, I would ask a bunch of questions, but I don't, so go ahead.
14:13🔗Okay. Okay. Here's the deal. I just got, well, I'm about two years out of recovery for eating disorders again. And I'm doing really well. I'm 5'8, 138, and I've kept it at that weight.
14:32🔗DrewOkay, what's your question? What is your question?
14:34🔗I'm on, I'm taking 300 milligrams a day of Lamictal, 300 milligrams a day of Topamax. I don't know how much Cymbalta every day, and I've got a thyroid condition. And I've talked to all of my other prescribing physicians about this. I was seeing a really great guy for a while, and about two years, and my libido was great, oral. I could orgasm with him really well with oral. When it came time, this is awkward to talk about, when it came time for intercourse, I couldn't relax my vagina, no matter what. It would just clench up.
15:15🔗DrewSo yeah, that's called vaginismus, right?
15:25🔗DrewLet me ask you a couple of things. Have you ever had your estrogen levels checked? Have you had, if you have been having normal periods in spite of your eating disorder?
15:34🔗Everything's been back to normal for a couple of years.
15:37🔗DrewAll right, so you might still want to, you could still have some residual what's called atrophic vaginitis, which is low levels of circulating estrogen at the tissue of the vagina, and it can cause a lot of irritation, and sometimes that will trigger a spasm. So that's one possibility. Given you're eating disorder, I would at least look into that.
15:56🔗AdamBut what was it doing? Because I picture just someone yanking the string on a Crown Royal sack and having it just sit shut, you know?
16:04🔗The All American RejectsBuilt-in chastity badge.
16:07🔗DrewYeah, that's basically it, but what question is it just happening spontaneously? Is it happening because of anxiety or is it happening because of irritation?
16:15🔗Um, no. I mean, we've gone through my history. I mean, my dad lives with my mom. I know that's your next question. They're as happy as they're going to be.
16:31🔗AdamBut I don't know. Why do you have to qualify it with that anyone knows about? Like you sift it through your own records?
16:36🔗DrewBecause she's had a lot of treating mental health people who are saying, Gee, this sounds like trauma. It sounds like trauma. It must be there. No.
16:41🔗AdamAll right. Well, I just mean, I don't know, feels like if-
16:45🔗DrewAll right. Here's the deal. Some people can just get, look, she has high levels of anxiety. She's very high strung. Yes. You can get vaginismus. Those are the people that get vaginismus. You can look it up online, all the different treatments there are. There's even graduated cylinders and all kinds of ways of relaxing that area. You might want to go, I bet there are physical therapists that are especially trained to help deal with it.
17:04🔗AdamThey call pimps, they rape you, they cigar-cube.
17:08🔗DrewThere's actually a society, a vaginismus society. Check it out.
17:14🔗AdamWear it proudly. It's a little warm this time of year. Come the fall, you'll see me sporting that baby.
17:19🔗DrewThat Crown Royal sack thing you were talking about? It's cinches here, the big thing on the slum bar.
17:23🔗AdamElastic in the sleeves, Ace, written quotations right on the press pocket there. It's nice.
17:29🔗DrewLizzie, it's hard to get into college if you have some experience with this, and it is something that can be sort of deconditioned. Let's put it that way.
17:35🔗AdamI was just thinking, first off, you got to feed it out of them. There's that sort of cliche about the Jews becoming doctors, but it's like, here's the thing about Jews, they may as well just get paid for it because they all just become doctors anyway. You're meant to get a license to make a living.
17:53🔗AdamThey know every drug, they know every darn the computer all night looking up their syndromes. There's nothing but, every Jew I know knows probably more medical knowledge than you, Drew, and I'm just saying, just go ahead and get certified, make a living doing it if you're going to take all the time and expense to just sit on the internet and fill your brain with all this information.
18:24🔗AdamShe's probably as qualified as half the people you work with. All right, let's, we should hear a song. We got a question for the band here. Buddy?
20:11🔗AdamHad a few people not make it out of the studio. The whole band, and the thing that struck me about In Excess was how nice the entire band was, number one, and how nice Michael was, too. They were like super friendly. And we're not just kissing ass because there's plenty of bands we hate, and they're pains in the ass. And it really has nothing to do with the size of the band, by the way. Smaller doesn't necessarily mean humbler or nicer. Sometimes it means overcompensating and bigger pains in our ass. And bigger bands sometimes are sort of secure and relaxed and friendly, sort of like guys. You know what I mean?
20:58🔗The All American RejectsJust hang out, champ.
20:59🔗AdamYeah, this one is off the CD called Move Along and it's called Dirty Little Secret. Yeah, All American Rejects, everybody. Move along, name of the CD. See, good band, bro.
24:31🔗The All American RejectsIt's the time of the press.
24:33🔗AdamThat's an awesome song. I mean, finger-popping and, of course, The All American Rejects, who are gonna be over at the Grove this Saturday, seven o'clock, doing a little freebie concert. We will take a little break. When we come back, I think we're gonna speak to Summer, Paranoid Around Men Over 30.
24:52🔗CallerThat ought to be something to get into.
24:54🔗AdamHow to Get Rid of a Bestiality Fetish. Stephanie wants to know from Idaho. We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back after this.
25:08🔗CallerYou think getting to the Super Bowl is tough? Try getting past all the gorgeous women inside the August Playboy just to find out who we picked to win the Super Bowl. Playboy's NFL preview on sale now.
25:33🔗AdamHey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew, back from his triumphant trip to Washington, DC., where he addressed the interns on Capitol Hill.
25:46🔗AdamThe All American Rejects in studio tonight. Chris and Tyson are here. Nick and Mike are gonna come through here after the break at the 11 o'clock hour. How did the speaking go today, Drew?
25:58🔗DrewGood, it was really good. But it's weird getting up, doing radios with three, getting up at 10, running over to Capitol Hill, talking for an hour, and then running to the airport. So then feeling like I'm taking a plane to work.
26:10🔗AdamWhat did you tell them? What did you talk about?
26:12🔗DrewWe talked about hooking up. All hook up things, surprise, surprise.
26:17🔗DrewThey did a study on them, and lo and behold, found out they're all hooking up all the time. And surprise, surprise, using alcohol when they hook up.
26:24🔗AdamThese are interns. Most of them are from different parts of the country, right? See, here's the whole thing. I've figured out, and this is why college is such a great place to get laid, what you want is people that are away from their home base, away from the doting parents. You want drifters. You want chicks who have been riding the rails, pretty much.
26:45🔗AdamA little sack with a stick with a kerchief and the hobo makeup on, feet sticking out of the shoes. No, what you want is, here's what I realized. I realized this when I was in Vegas last weekend. When women are near their home base, they're totally different than when you get them away from home base.
27:04🔗AdamYeah, when you cut them loose, they act differently. Now think about guys. Guys act the same way a block from their house as they do in their house as they do in Peoria as they do in Mongolia. You know what I mean? Guys are guys. Women will keep it kind of buttoned up at home and then if you send them out to Arizona State.
27:23🔗DrewThey don't want their pain in the ass friends shunning them.
27:25🔗AdamYeah, or who knows? I mean, there's reasons that make sense and some that are just deep, deep within the, I was gonna say brain, but we'll just say skull, because I'm not sure. Inside the skull of a woman, whatever it is, get them away from home base. That's the plan and that's all college is. I'd like to do a little study, Drew. I'm actually never gonna do it.
27:48🔗DrewBut- People that live at home during college as opposed to people that go further away, the more-
28:10🔗AdamI mean, you take a chick from Los Angeles and you send her to UCLA or you send her to Arizona State, I guarantee she's gonna ring up some numbers there. Well, some of it is actually, yeah, no curriculum in booze. Yeah, I guess that's actually gonna have an effect. See, Drew, see, that's why I need you.
30:57🔗DrewYou weren't sick for a long time when you were a kid? By neglect, I mean just nobody around when you needed them, not necessarily when they weren't accommodating when they were around, but they just weren't around a lot of the time.
31:08🔗CallerNo, I'm really close with all my family, only my parents have been married for seven years.
31:11🔗DrewI didn't say that, Stephanie. I said when you were say under the age of two even.
31:34🔗AdamI'm getting bogus too. I got bogus a long time ago. Stephanie, bogus. Yeah? Yeah. We don't buy it. Yeah. There's nothing going on with you. You're not into it. But it was a good try.
33:01🔗The All American RejectsI thought there was some affection. I apologize. I thought it was peanut butter or something.
33:05🔗AdamNice. Everyone gets freaked out, seriously freaked out when they hear about sex with animals. But to me, as an animal, that's your best day, right there. You really got to think about what your choices are as a dog, for instance. Sniffing explosives. You think that's a decent gig down at the airport? Sniffing out explosives.
33:27🔗AdamIdidorod, dragging some fat lesbian across the 700 acres of frozen tundra. You know what I mean? Or you're pounding the bejesus out of your owner. You know what I mean? I mean, here's the whole thing about a dog, too, having sex. And by the way, women get outraged by this. But here's the thing. You can't make the dog get a boner and screw the coked up chick.
34:00🔗The All American RejectsI mean, if you're female, you don't ask, you know?
34:05🔗AdamOh, how do you do it? I think they have dog fluffers. I don't think the chick actually does that. I think they use that triumph, the insult dog, to actually use the hand to get the dog going.
34:20🔗DrewYou gotta get those vomit drops with that one.
36:00🔗The All American RejectsYes. I went to my doctor because my back was really hurting me. It turns out that I got scoliosis.
36:09🔗DrewWell, the scoliosis may not have anything to do with the boobs.
36:12🔗AdamRight. And everybody's, everyone's got some form of that.
36:15🔗DrewRight. As you're developing as a teenage female, scoliosis is very common. It's an S-shape alterations, usually in the sort of lateral. It's not the curvature of the neck and shoulders that you get from having a large breast.
36:31🔗The All American RejectsAll right. And I was thinking about getting a breast reduction, but I'm not really sure if I should or not because I'm like afraid of like the hazards and stuff and what may happen.
36:46🔗The All American RejectsNo, not at the moment.
36:48🔗AdamReally? What a waste of boob. Breaks my heart to see this kind of boob. For me, it's like someone from Calcutta, just seeing food being thrown into a dumpster.
37:00🔗DrewI was imagining the Indian at the side of the road.
37:01🔗AdamA tear, a single tear. Going down on Jeremy's cheek as he stands by the side of the road.
37:08🔗The All American RejectsWell, I am in a band, so I have a lot of guys going for me, but I haven't really found the right one yet.
37:19🔗AdamThat's going to be some opening day for a guy when he gets hold of you.
37:25🔗DrewGive this some thought. It doesn't sound like it's going to have a significant effect on your back. Go ahead and get some physical therapy for the back for sure.
37:33🔗The All American RejectsI just had physical therapy because I was in a car accident, a really bad one, and I was in physical therapy for about two months.
37:40🔗AdamWhat happened? Boobs got caught up on the wheel and they just went into a ravine?
37:53🔗AdamWhy are people, I wouldn't let my kid drive a jeep. I know it's like the number one form of transportation for strippers and hot chicks. Is that jeep? Yeah.
38:03🔗The All American RejectsIt's really safe. I hit my knee on the dashboard and that was it.
38:08🔗The All American RejectsBe honest, did you land face down?
39:23🔗The All American RejectsWe played a show with Kelphitch and Gage.
39:25🔗AdamOh, well, if you've made it up to opening for Kelphitch and Gage, then I mean, I mean, they're the Led Zeppelin, a band you haven't heard of. You know what I mean? That's what Kelphitch and Gage would be. My, you've climbed the Rock and Roll Mountain when you're opening for Kelphitch and Gage.
39:43🔗The All American RejectsIt's a Billy Idol song.
39:45🔗AdamYeah. I know. Drew, you've been around the music scene. Maybe you can stop me if I'm wrong.
39:50🔗DrewOf course you're right. Yeah. It's the times.
39:53🔗AdamYeah. We had them in here Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday actually this week and finally we decided to bring the All American Rejects.
40:22🔗AdamWant to dress up your sex life? Visit durx.com. There's sex, and then there's Durx. Hey, everybody, it's the Love Line. I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew. Yeah, it's our good friend, System Of A Down. I think they're coming in here soon enough. Now, I'll tell you, they rock harder than any Armenian band I've ever heard. You know what I mean? Or at least top 10 for me.
41:04🔗AdamKillswitch Engage, I think, would round out the top five of our hottest rocking Armenian bands. It's like I say about Margaret Cho. I think one of the funniest, top five funniest Korean female lesbian comedians currently work in the LA area. I mean, that's my take. You know what I'm saying?
41:26🔗The All American RejectsYeah. I'm saying it.
41:28🔗AdamI'm saying he you know, thing about Bob Saget is a couple of things about Bob Saget. One is Bob did those two sort of milk toast squeaky clean shows. He did Full House and then he did the video show. This this sort of homogenized Vinda Bona things. Oh, he's got more money in God. But the point is, is he had to sort of play Mr. Pops in the sweater vest and then Mr. Congenial Host. And whenever he's around him, now he compensates by using profanity.
42:04🔗DrewI find him the nicest guy you ever want to meet, though.
42:12🔗AdamNo, but we were doing the Man Show and I had to ask him to do something for us or do a favor for us or something. So I called Comedy Central and somebody gave me his number. Like, I got to call Bob Saget. I asked him, and I called Bob Saget and I was like, Hey, Bob, the son of Corolla. I knew him a little bit. I was like, you know, we're doing something on the Man Show and we think you'd be right. How'd you get my number?
42:35🔗DrewWell, you freak out, too. You yell at my wife for giving a pan pan your phone number.
42:39🔗AdamListen, Dilweed, you're you're equating me calling Bob Saget with your wife giving my cell phone number to a Korean knife salesman who I've never met before, who's trying to sell me a ginsu and a steak knife set, who's turned out to be the most annoying Asian on the planet.
43:02🔗DrewI'm just saying, you know, how dare you freak out when people call you out of the blue.
43:05🔗AdamI called Bob Saget and I was like, Bob, it's Adam. And he's like, how'd you get my number? And I was like, Bob, Comedy Central, the guys, they gave it to me because they were working on something with him. And I anyway, they didn't give me this number. Yeah, of course. They did not. I was like, well, we think I'm lying. Like, where do you think I got off the stall in the men's room at the airport?
43:32🔗AdamNo, I just said, I said, I said, no, they gave me the number. And they wanted to ask you if you want to do something for them. He's like, who gave it? Where did you get this? How did you do it? And he was just a huge pain in the ass all the time. He couldn't get over the fact that I got his phone number from somebody we both worked with.
43:49🔗The All American RejectsDid it end with him just still asking you?
43:51🔗AdamIt ended with him not doing whatever we wanted him to do on the man show and being a marginal pain in the ass.
43:57🔗DrewWell, that's all I remember. I think you may have got him on a bad day or something, because I've had multiple interactions that have been nothing.
44:02🔗AdamMultiple interactions. Those are sexual interactions. Those are different, Drew.
44:08🔗AdamYou're just saying nothing. No, I'm sure he's a nice guy, but it is funny to hear the MFer word complying out of his mouth. That's all. Danny Tanner. Yeah, I know him as Danny Tanner.
44:46🔗The All American RejectsMy problem is that I kind of get paranoid around guys that are like over 30, and I think that they're going to touch me or hurt me. And it's pretty much most guys that I know or that I see or I'm around.
44:59🔗DrewWhat does that mean? Yeah, what does that mean? Pretty much most guys. You mean you're around mostly men over 30?
45:06🔗The All American RejectsYeah, like I'll be in a social situation and want to talk to me. Like it'll even be like my parents' friends and they'll come over and you know, and I get really freaked out if they like touch me, just by like, you know, touch my shoulder or.
45:21🔗The All American RejectsYou're that hot girl, aren't you?
45:24🔗The All American RejectsYou're like hot, right? Probably. It just sounds like like, I don't know, like hot girls probably talk about older men. You look you're young, but you look old, right? For your age or something.
46:02🔗DrewHow about your teachers? How are you with your teachers at school?
46:07🔗The All American RejectsWell, sometimes like, you know, one of them wanted a guy, one wanted to give me a hug, and it really creeped me out. And I thought that, you know, he was.
46:14🔗AdamAll right. Here's what we're going to do. We're going to label this a non-problem.
46:41🔗DrewBut maybe she's picking up on that. I think they are, and it's such a weird boundary issue for her. It's like she needs to stay away. She should stay away from guys like that.
46:48🔗AdamI don't know. Look, here's the thing. Sometimes you're paranoid about things or you have issues surrounding certain topics because for good reason, you're abused, whatever happened in the past. Then there are times, it's just your own personal issue. Get over it.
47:05🔗DrewWell, it's just like, I don't like something, tastes or smells or something like this. It's just a preference.
47:16🔗AdamThat's right. They'll be 60 and you'll really be freaked out. Take a quick break. All American Rejects. I think Tyson and Chris are flipping out and Nick and Mike are heading in. And we'll take a quick break.
47:27🔗CallerBe right back after this. All right, guys. Here's the deal.
47:31🔗Looking to hook up? Call the Dateline. Sick of wasting time with the wrong person?
47:56🔗AdamYeah, everybody, Loveline. That's what I'm talking about. Dr. Drew in studio tonight, and making a rare Loveline appearance. Phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. Nick and Mike. Nick and Mike. In here tonight for The All American Rejects, replacing Chris and Tyson. Move Along, name of the CD. We'll hear something else. I think we'll hear the title track from Move Along in a couple of few. And I should say that the guys are going to be at the Troubadour tomorrow night, but that's all sold out. So no use going down there. But I'll tell you where you could go. You could go Saturday down to the Grove and go to the Apple Store and get yourself possibly like a free computer. And what else, Drew?
49:09🔗AdamThis to me is the worst human engineering I've ever seen in my goddamn life. Drew, you have to look at these numbers. You have to look at the phone.
49:18🔗DrewYou understand. You see, I've been reading since third grade. I've got a little more visual acuity. You started reading when you were 30.
49:37🔗AdamAll right. No, listen. Now look at this. Look at this. I'm going to ask Drew. Now here's what they do. They take the zero. So when someone's phone number is like zero five, they don't make it just a zero.
49:52🔗AdamThey put a slash through it. So you don't think it's a vowel. So you don't think it's that you don't make a vowel sound before you dial a nine. Like you would stare at it and go, well that, now that's a letter. I'm not going to dial that.
51:15🔗DrewYou should visit these guys at the Apple Store and have a little discussion with the Apple people about why computer operators would do this.
51:24🔗DrewSure, that's why they did it. Said, we're going to get to Corolla Guard. That's what we're going to do.
51:28🔗AdamI'll tell you what my... My next show is going to be called Payback. And I just go to places and I find the guy. And here's how I do it. I sell it as a fluff piece. I call the people from Verizon or Nextel or whatever, this piece of crap phone. And I'm like, hey, I'm in love with your product. We're doing a show. You mind if we come down there with the camera crew? And then once I enter the premises and get people, it's like, oh, you know, I'm a huge fan of the guy who works on the digital characters here. Is there, who's in charge? And then all of a sudden you just, just that's it. I throw a chair through the window. I go, I do the shoulder, the ninja shoulder. I throw him up against the wall. Is there a point of thing out? He explains he's a temp. Yeah, yeah. He's the guy who did that. It's not there. I throw, I put it, oh, I put like a bowie knife in his sternum. I got him and then I go to the next one. And then my next, you know, the next place I go, I go to the TiVo place, the TiVo place, because they used to have the power button of the TiVo on the top and the center. And they decided to move it down 28 spaces and four from the left. So you can't find it anymore. It used to be front and center. Now it's where all power buttons are. 28 from the top, four from the right. Sure, well your thumb will just naturally go down 28 keys and four from the right when you're looking for power. If you picked up a remote and you weren't at home, you would immediately go down 28 over four to the right. You certainly wouldn't go to the center of the top for the power.
52:55🔗AdamThat would be insanity if you put it there. Oh, better yet, left it there. It used to be there in the old TiVo. I just want to go in and start to go in there like Loaded for Bear, just like with some crazed postal workers, disgruntled with his manager, just just bandolier belts of 50 caliber stuff and just just start to do that Rambo thing at the Sheriff's office.
54:57🔗AdamNo. Minus 95. This guy is my witness. I'm not lying. I'm not lying. Here's how the volume works. It's a big knob and it's got a digital display. The very bottom, no sound, minus 95 dBs. Okay, minus 95 decibels. All the way up, the highest you can get it, zero. Okay, now. Well, it makes sense. It's minus 10 decibels. You're blowing out the subwoofer. Understand? Loud party music, minus 19 to minus 23. And just watching TV at night, you're in the minus 44 to minus 51 range. Totally intuitive.
56:46🔗AdamBut here's what ends up happening is you put a DVD in and you're punching things around and you're trying to get the things set up. Minus 19. Does that mean anything?
56:57🔗AdamShaba, come in here. Talk into that mic. And by the way, if you buy $100 stereo, you get one to 10. You spend $4,000, you get minus 95 to zero. What is that?
57:11🔗Hey Shaba, show everybody who's listening your beard.
57:22🔗You know, honestly, it's, I don't know why they put the minus behind it.
57:27🔗AdamI have a stereo that goes from minus 95 decibels up to zero, but not past zero. Never in the plus. And it can't be programmed. That's the way it is. There's no changing it.
58:09🔗AdamLet me just ask this, though. What would be the disaster in making it one to ten? I mean, what could possibly go wrong if you knew that eight was really loud and zero wasn't that loud?
58:24🔗DrewZero to a hundred, Anderson. Zero to a hundred.
58:26🔗AdamWhat's wrong with even just being on the positive side of the decibel level?
58:31🔗DrewI mean, you're staying in a base ten. Yes.
58:40🔗AdamWhen you're looking at my stereo and it says zero, it says minus 37. That doesn't register as anything.
58:48🔗You know who can explain this is Drew because he's a doctor and it's the same kind of thing as like the way that people that are really into the profession, they make it all confusing for just them.
59:04🔗DrewThere's two other guys I want to get. I want to get the guys that put the ridiculous shrink wrap on the CDs. You have to chew it off with your teeth.
59:13🔗DrewThose people need to be killed. And then the people that have decided that the hard plastic cover for everything is the way to go. So you can slice your hands off.
59:23🔗AdamThat's what it is. You buy a stapler and you have to get a buck knife out and start sawing through it or a peddling torch. You got to get a cutting rig on that thing and start cutting it. Has the answer to my question?
59:38🔗AdamNo. He's 39, which means usually it's like, Oh, Greg from Arizona has the answer. Oh, he's 11. Be prepared for the cow ghost moo. But perhaps Greg has an answer. Greg, what do you have? Now, do you know what I'm talking about?
59:56🔗CallerYeah. You got a high-end amplifier. And basically it's not a volume control, it's an attenuation control. And zero dB means that's a full amplification possibility of that amplifier. And the negative numbers are actually the amount of attenuation. It limits that amount of... Right.
1:00:14🔗AdamBut you understand, you understand that zero means you're not only going to do damage to your ears, but to the equipment. That if you dare turn my stereo on when it said zero, you would blow out the amp, the speakers, the subwoofer, and the neighbors would call the cops.
1:01:12🔗AdamI know. But here's the thing. A skill saw is like 110 dBs and a jet plane is like 140 dBs. So when you see minus 43 dBs, obviously it's confusing to anyone, especially the lay person.
1:01:29🔗DrewAnd the high end one, wouldn't you want the translation there to just volume?
1:01:33🔗AdamI want to go down to Sunfire. It's a place called Sunfire. Just give a flying knee to the groin of the a-hole that made that thing.
1:01:41🔗CallerWhen you have the high end equipment, you want to confuse all of your friends that don't have the equipment.
1:01:45🔗AdamLet me tell you what happens is you're punching around buttons. You got the CD in, you're like yelling to the old ladies, you see a picture? Is there a picture? I can't see. Is there a picture? I don't hear anything. And you're punching things. And meanwhile, you're just turning the volume knob up because you're minus 10 now. And you're like, Drew, and then you hit a button, boom. Everything explodes. All right, Greg.
1:02:26🔗AdamYeah. And by the way, people that have four grand to spend on a stereo aren't stereo experts. They're experts at making money.
1:02:34🔗DrewYes. And they want things easy and they want to understand without thinking about it.
1:02:38🔗AdamOh, you know how I got rich? My knowledge of stereo equipment. I took that right to the bank and cashed out like a check. Sure. You know, steroids like I do, that's what pays the bills. My knowledge of stereo. You know, God, I want to kill everybody.
1:02:53🔗DrewWell, all right. I'll get the shrink wrap, guys. You get the stereo. All right.
1:02:56🔗AdamAnd here's all I ask. Here's all my, here's all I want. Look, I said to my stereo guy, can you reprogram it? Flip a switch and let's just go from zero to 99, go on the plus side. No, no, be no doing that. Impossible. Can't do that.
1:03:38🔗The All American RejectsAnd I've never had anal sex before, and I've always been sort of curious about it, but I've never.
1:03:43🔗AdamOkay, what's that have to do with the volume?
1:03:47🔗The All American RejectsI'm like, I'm telling you, whenever he tries, the volume goes up really high. We've gone to a couple of sex shops, and we've talked to a couple of people, and they said, oh, we'll use toys, and you'll get bigger, and then it'll be easier. And then they gave us this crane that sort of numbs the anus.
1:04:09🔗The All American RejectsAnd that didn't work. The toys are okay, as long as I keep them small, you know.
1:04:14🔗DrewMichelle, Michelle, what is it you're expecting? That someday it's not going to hurt, or you won't feel anything below your waist?
1:04:20🔗AdamWell, the guy behind the counter when he was demonstrating.
1:04:23🔗DrewOr you'll achieve some magical, you'll enter Alice's Wonderland, if you can actually figure this out. Your body is not receiving this. This is bad. It hurts you. You're tearing things. You're going to end up with a rectal prolapse.
1:04:39🔗The All American RejectsWhat? You're saying there's no way.
1:04:41🔗DrewI'm not saying there's no way, but I'm saying if you're asking for trouble. Why?
1:04:57🔗DrewThere are people that can ride a unicycle. Yeah. I mean, there are people who do all kinds of things that maybe you can't do. It's just the way it is.
1:05:02🔗CallerIf you have to buy numbing cream for it, I wouldn't recommend it.
1:05:05🔗DrewYeah, your body has pain, your experience has pain as a way of diverting you from engaging in those behaviors.
1:05:11🔗AdamYeah, it's like why you can't hold your hand over a flame.
1:05:17🔗AdamMichelle, you get an A for effort in the ass department, but it ain't your thing. And by the way, you've done, you've fulfilled your anal duty. That's going to be the next All American Rejects.
1:05:35🔗AdamAnal duty. The thing is, is the wayward vagina has heated the call of his anal duty.
1:05:44🔗CallerWe're going to have a sentence by the end of the show.
1:05:47🔗AdamThe thing is, is you went to the store, you tried the creams, you tried the graduated loose site butt plugs, you've done it all. It's not your bag. You've tried it. You know what I mean?
1:05:57🔗DrewAnd again, do you see any other body part? You know what I mean? Just imagine you were trying to insert something into your ear or something and it hurt, it's excruciating, and you tried all these different ways of possibly doing it, it wouldn't work.
1:06:11🔗DrewListen, and people don't realize, as you age, that area starts to have trouble anyway, particularly the ladies, and you can cause fissures and hemorrhoids.
1:06:22🔗DrewAnd the rectum will fall out of your anus, and that is a lovely thing. A wonderful thing that most people can look forward to trouble in that part of their body under normal circumstances. You start mucking.
1:06:36🔗CallerI got feelings for you. Can I prolapse your anus?
1:06:40🔗AdamIt's David Alan Greer. He didn't know the mics were hot. I think during the break, we were talking about anal prolapse, and he jumped on Drew.
1:06:52🔗CallerI got feelings for you. Can I prolapse your anus?
1:06:59🔗AdamI missed that. All right. So anyway, look, you tried. You know what it's like? It's like, it's like your, your, your husband's saying, I love Thai food. That's in, you're like, I don't think I care for Thai. Well, just honey, just go to the restaurant. And you go there and you eat it and you vomit. And then a week later, he's like, we're going back to the Thai place. You're like, well, sweetie, I already did go. You go one more time, one more time. And you go there, eat it, and you vomit again, or you have the runs. But like, look, you've been there two or three times. No more Thai food.
1:07:25🔗DrewBut at least recurrent vomiting is not going to leave any long-term impact.
1:07:29🔗AdamPoint is, is you've done as a, you've done your duty. You've done good duty as a girlfriend. You've done solid, you've done a solid duty. Done a beautiful solid duty for your boyfriend. You really have. You've fulfilled every, every dream of duty and duty in a man, the duty of a man, a solid round duty. Okay? He said duty. Okay.
1:07:58🔗DrewLet's stay on the theme if you want to take one more quick call here.
1:08:01🔗AdamAll American Rejects here tonight. Well, we got to hear something. We don't have to, but we would like to hear something from the CD. Ryan? Ryan?
1:08:46🔗CallerHe went from like an Hispanic accent to a Hick accent. He started.
1:08:49🔗AdamHe did. He started. Yeah, he started like he was day laborer. And now he's like Gus from the filling station. Yeah. He's the guy who gives you directions halfway into the horror movie.
1:09:33🔗AdamYeah, you see, it's bogus. Like whenever whenever someone does that thing, we're like, my girlfriend put a strap on on me and he asked and it felt good. Is that normal?
1:09:48🔗AdamAll right. Listen, it's our it's our duty to take a break right now. I made a pledge to take a duty during the break. A duty. I took a dutiful pledge that I would adhere to the dutiful codes of this wonderful radio station. I'm going to do that during the break. All American Rejects in studio tonight. And we'll be right back after this.
1:10:12🔗CallerWhat I say, what I say, what I say, I got feelings for you.
1:10:52🔗AdamYou guys should pray I put a curse on you guys. You guys just ride that.
1:10:57🔗DrewYou have to feel it though. You have to really be angry with it.
1:10:59🔗AdamYeah, I'm gonna really be angry with you, and I'll give you the Corolla curse. And once I give you the hex, the stink eye, you'll ride that wave all the way to the bank for a long time. Oh, yeah. Wentz Defiance probably made $70 billion since the curse started. She ought to come to me for renewal. Reup that curse. It's about time. Yeah. Put a curse on her and sting.
1:11:29🔗AdamWhat's going on? All American Rejects in studio tonight. The band is going to be down at the Grove at 7 o'clock this Saturday. Move along. Name of the CD. Also the name of the song we're going to hear in just a few. Who have a question for the band? This is going to go nowhere fast.
1:12:07🔗AdamYou know what? God, I hate Brittany. I hate her. I know I hate her as much as I hate stereo guys, but I hate snotty, angry teenagers and that's Brittany. I don't like- Once in a while, they'll go like, yeah, I'm calling. Well, you want my original question or you want the one the guy told me not to say on the air, but then I'm going to- It's like, oh, F you.
1:12:46🔗AdamWell, didn't the- All right. What do you mean just asking?
1:12:49🔗CallerI was just asking like, you know, like- Because you said like the question was going to go an hour fast and I was like, well, that's not-
1:13:05🔗CallerOkay. Well, I wanted to know like, you guys have a lot of female fans and well, what's like the weirdest like fan experience? Like what's the craziest thing ever that's ever happened?
1:13:14🔗AdamWell, was that the question you were going to ask?
1:13:16🔗CallerNo. My original question was something else.
1:13:20🔗CallerWell, I saw you guys at Warped Tour and when you came to San Francisco and basically I think Mike, yeah Mike and Tyson both jumped into the crowd and I was there when I saw that and it was kind of creepy because like I know Mike, Mike you're on right now, right?
1:13:34🔗CallerYeah. They wouldn't let you come back out and I think you were trying but they kept pulling you back and I just want to know like you guys ever get freaked out when you do that or think you're never going to come back up or what?
1:13:45🔗CallerNo, they were being nice. I was just hanging out because my guitar broke so I had to wait for it to be fixed so I just jumped in the crowd in the middle of the song. But no, they were very kind. Though they did steal my wireless pack and my laminate which was pretty crazy. Oh really? Yeah, it was pretty crazy.
1:14:14🔗CallerOur tech gave them a heads up and they saw a girl holding it and he was like, you know you need to give that back and she's like, oh, I just found it.
1:15:33🔗AdamYeah. Yeah. Like the guys who are really rich and somebody's like, oh, let me help out with that check and they're like, no, no, don't worry. Yeah. They're real. They're quiet about it. Right. It's scary confidence.
1:15:42🔗CallerBy the way, I saw the back of your stereo on the screen over here. Yeah. I wouldn't even know where to start with that. It's ridiculous.
1:15:52🔗CallerThere's like three fuses. What do you mean three fuses?
1:15:54🔗AdamI know. I'll just be slowly driven insane by my ultra expensive stereo. All right. Let's hear a little song from the All American Rejects, shall we?
1:21:03🔗AdamLet's do that. Flash in the Pan here tonight. No. All American Rejects. Take a quick break. 79 or 80. Yeah. Take a quick break. Be right back with that important trivia question. What is it? What is it? Do you know, Michelle? All right. After this.
1:21:43🔗AdamHey, yo, Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew, All American Rejects in studio tonight. Nick and Mike here, Tyson and Chris have been rotated out, and we are going to talk to James. James?
1:22:05🔗CallerHello? Yes, hi. I have a heroin addiction. I've been through 18 months of drug and alcohol counseling. I just recently started using again.
1:22:21🔗DrewWhat do you mean you were 18 months of counseling? You were sober for 18 months or you were trying to get sober for 18 months?
1:22:26🔗CallerWell, we went through ups and downs. I had my flip-ups throughout the whole 18 months.
1:22:31🔗DrewWell, for heroin addiction, you just spend six months in a structured environment. So how long did you stay in a sober living or residential program?
1:22:42🔗CallerI first did it for six and a half months. They let me out. I got out and I immediately went back to it. It's been a long problem.
1:22:50🔗DrewYou need to go back. You need to go back.
1:22:54🔗CallerHonestly, I really don't feel like that is helping me. I just keep going back to my same problems again.
1:23:00🔗AdamWell, you're 22, James. I mean, most guys who get into heroin slip up a few times before the recovery takes.
1:23:08🔗DrewRight. It's a chronic condition. You basically have two options, really. One is to go back in and spend more time. And you were so... Another bogus call?
1:23:49🔗AdamDrug addicts are actually pretty decent at sounding normal. That's why they can get away with it. Right. So it sounded weird at the beginning, but then he got into it and it sounded fine. Eighteen months, in and out, whatever some details.
1:24:00🔗DrewAnyway, here's the deal. Before I bring it on.
1:24:03🔗DrewYou can go back in, spend more time. You were sober the time you were in a structure environment. You need to put more time together. That's a very simple equation.
1:24:10🔗AdamIf you are not laughing in the background, no change really. It's, it's.
1:24:16🔗CallerYeah, I'm a habitual marijuana smoker. I'm giving you guys. Bye bye.
1:24:22🔗CallerShould have checked between his toes.
1:24:40🔗DrewNobody. Nobody. You can get on replacement therapies like methadone or buprenax.
1:24:44🔗AdamWell, by the way, that's why, here's the thing about this show, everybody. I'll explain why. Although I enjoy bogus calls, it's all fine with me. My, my feeling is, is there's no real bogus calls because we're never talking to the person who called us. Anyway, yes, because people, people say to us all the time, do you really think you're helping? By the way, I hate those A-holes. Do you really think you're helping the person you're talking to? I mean, half the time doesn't even seem like they're listening. And it's like, no, I don't expect to help the person I'm talking to.
1:25:20🔗AdamBy the way, between my, you know, my tales of woe about my $4,000 stereo and complaining about the LAPD and the Burbank PD and all this, we only talked about five people a night. Anyway, I ain't talking to that one person because if I talk to that one person, then maybe you help five people a night. But there are hundreds of thousands of people that are listening who may share the same problem or at least source, at least have components of the same problem or at least learn something. So if we get a bogus call that says I'm a junkie, whether the person laughs and yells bop-a-boo and hangs up in the middle of it is of no real consequence to us because there are other people that are strung out, there are other people that are having issues with addiction and the same advice goes to them.
1:26:06🔗DrewYeah, we don't want to get, we want to always be able to, we sort of have a personal need to be able to identify the bogus.
1:26:13🔗AdamYes, it's a personal calling. It's a personal crusade for us but in terms of our answer, we'll keep going with the answer and that was an addiction question. Cody?
1:26:26🔗CallerYeah, that's correct. I've got a ringworm on the inside of my elbow and I was wondering if fingernail polish would kill it. I had a wrestler friend tell me that would work and I've had this for probably crowd in three, maybe four months.
1:26:44🔗DrewIt's been a long time. Well, I've never heard of that. I don't know that that's the case. I think you may be sort of confusing Plantress Wart with Ringworm. Plantress Wart, I have heard of that doing that. But listen, A, you don't know it's a ringworm.
1:27:41🔗CallerYes, I did. I took the dose they suggested, and I still have not killed it.
1:27:46🔗DrewAll right, then you need to see a dermatologist, because the diagnosis is wrong. Oh, really? Yeah. That would have killed it. That would have killed it. You need to see a dermatologist.
1:28:02🔗AdamYeah, but not on the air. No. We'll hang up, and you can keep talking in the front.
1:28:08🔗CallerI liked the surprise in his voice when you told him it wasn't that after two medications didn't work. Really? It could be something else.
1:28:15🔗AdamBut drink that nail polish anyway, just to be safe.
1:28:19🔗AdamBy the way, can they make a nail polish that does not rank out in the entire house? Uh-oh, I think I figured out why women are stupid. They sit there and they inhale that. No, not the lesbians, Michelle. You guys, God forbid, they put some nail polish on. My wife, I come walking in a house, I get lightheaded. Like, oh my God, what's going on here? And then I come into the den and I start tearing, and I'm getting lightheaded. I have to sit down, and my wife's just sitting there watching TV with the dog, just painting the nails away. And it's like, oh my God, he got to open a window in here. I can't breathe. And they're like, huh? Nothing, you know, and I realize they've just, I think nail polish has destroyed all the brain cells, Drew.
1:28:58🔗AdamWould you put that together? Look, would you, would you? Would you make this association? The women who spend more time on their nails are certainly dumber than the ones that don't.
1:29:54🔗The All American RejectsI've been with my boyfriend for about two months. We were at a party about a week ago. I kept kind of drunk and he was watching me make out with a chick. He was like, hey, that kind of turned me on. We should have a threesome with your friend.
1:30:19🔗DrewI don't know if it casually drops that. Hey, how about that? Hey, that kind of surprise, surprise.
1:30:36🔗AdamYeah. All right. So you want to have a threesome?
1:30:40🔗The All American RejectsI'm kind of interested. It kind of turns me on, but I'm kind of freaked out a little bit about it.
1:30:48🔗DrewDo you care about your boyfriend? Do you want to sustain this relationship?
1:30:52🔗The All American RejectsHe's kind of, I'm kind of losing.
1:30:56🔗DrewAll right. Well, if you want a threesome, this will be a way to put a nail in that coffin. Right. You'll get to have your threesome and end the relationship all in one swoop.
1:31:06🔗The All American RejectsKind of. I mean, it's like I haven't had very many good relationships. I don't know. I just haven't really been intimate. Like I've been kind of scared to be intimate, you know?
1:31:56🔗The All American RejectsYeah. She left me in a hospital, not in a hospital, but a hotel room. My brothers and sisters for three weeks with only butterdies.
1:32:38🔗AdamOkay. Yeah. I hope everyone knows I'm kidding because there's no Jew in the world that would throw their kid in a trash can. They do it emotionally later on in life.
1:32:46🔗DrewOnly if they don't live up to the standards they anticipated.
1:32:49🔗AdamThey don't physically do it to their kids.
1:32:50🔗DrewOnly if they don't live up to what they're asked to.
1:32:52🔗AdamOnly if they don't live up to what the dead grandparents would have wanted for them. So Lily, you're a mess, baby.
1:32:58🔗The All American RejectsYeah, I'm still a virgin too.
1:33:32🔗AdamAll right, we'll take a break. We'll be right back. All right, well, that's the show, everyone. And the week, I want to thank the All American Rejects for coming in here. Move along.
1:34:46🔗AdamYeah. Patricia, Chris, Kevin Weatherly, all the people that made this show so special tonight. And of course, Dr. Drew. So until next time, it's Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew, saying mahalo. We had a closet in this garage. Yeah. Any huff gas and beat off of the car.