1:20🔗
Hey, everybody.
1:22🔗
Adam
It's Loveline. I'm the level-headed Adam Carolla. That's the pompous and out-of-control Dr. Drew. Phone number, 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1-er, Dr. Drew, board-certified physician, addiction medicine specialist, man of passion, and a sensual man.
1:49🔗
Drew
Oh, I got to beg everybody to watch my show on Discovery Health. Nine and Midnight on the West Coast. I think just Midnight on the East.
2:02🔗
Adam
A lot of you who have been listening to the show, ugh, spelt your little taco, have no idea what Dr. Drew looks like.
2:22🔗
Yes.
2:24🔗
Adam.
2:26🔗
Corolla.
2:27🔗
Excellent. Thanks, guys, for taking my call. I have a quick question. Last night, I was having intercourse with my wonderful girlfriend, and I think I might have snapped my penis.
2:46🔗
Drew
Popping sound. Yeah, but sometimes when it did it curve or have an abnormal shape to it when you looked at it afterwards?
2:52🔗
It didn't, and it actually stayed erect.
2:59🔗
I think it did, but I'm not sure.
3:06🔗
Adam
The whole penis is the part where it attaches to the body. It's like a tree that falls over and says, what part of it is touching the ground? The ground, yeah.
3:29🔗
Drew
There's three pops. There's the pop of cracking the suspensory ligament just like a knuckle, which is what Adam does in his moment of glory.
3:37🔗
Drew
Yeah. There is the pop when the suspensory ligament tears, and there's a pop when you actually fracture the corpus cavernous body that the penis uses to retain the blood.
3:57🔗
Drew
Wednesday night, 9 o'clock, midnight. This guy was having sex, and he pulled out and went back in, and they heard this huge pop. It didn't hurt at first. And he went and looked down.
4:09🔗
Adam
No, no, it's like this wartime story when a guy feels something warm on his forehead, and it turns out it was his blood coming down. He had a four-inch piece of shrapnel on his skull. That's what it's like when you're having sex.
4:20🔗
It's like it's war in that head, right?
4:24🔗
Drew
Right, except where the action is. And anyway, he looked down, and this is what he saw. Like an L, bent penis.
4:30🔗
Drew
And his wife freaked out. This is a hockey stick, actually, he said. And she went, oh my god, you go to the hospital. Of course, the guy.
4:47🔗
Drew
And the thing shrinks down, it becomes no longer erect. But then the blood starts getting out of the cavernous body, and the thing gets to be the size of like a paint can.
4:56🔗
Drew
But it's two inches tall. Just a round, flat thing, and purple. That's when it went to the emergency room.
5:09🔗
Yeah, it kind of freaked me out. It didn't look like a paint can afterwards, and was able to finish it.
5:16🔗
That was yesterday, and today it's just kind of been sore all day.
5:22🔗
Haven't tried yet. That was part of my question.
5:25🔗
Drew
Give it a try. Sometimes if there's a problem, you'll get like a little blub, like a tire, you know, with a blub on it.
5:34🔗
Drew
Yeah, discolored and certainly rough deformed. Yes, and sort of the direction will be towards Mecca then.
5:42🔗
Adam
June 6th? Chris, you find out whether you're graduating or not? Yeah, it's coming up in like a week or something.
5:50🔗
Find out tomorrow?
6:09🔗
Adam
Oh, it's coming up next couple of days. Usually I went to, you know, when I went to, you know, high school, it was like June 14th, June 15th. I'm saying I got plans for this kid if we're graduating.
6:28🔗
Adam
That'll be cool. Yeah. I bet that is if you're graduating. I just I got to know because I'm very excited about this. I find out if I pull out, I got to get if I don't get more in a week's notice, I lose my deposit on the room. We're over at Whiskey Pete's.
6:55🔗
Adam
It's distracting. OK. All right. Just tell me. I don't want to lose my deposit. I'll tell you. All right. Yeah, we're heading. We're heading out of town. We're going to we're going to swing by the bun boy. Get ourselves a burger. Then it's the great Greek. And then we're going right to Whiskey Pete's, the county line. So it's a state line.
7:13🔗
Adam
I was going to say, yeah, yeah, state line. Yeah, it's gonna be awesome. All right. I guess it's the county and the state line. And if you live in like Perum, San Bernardino. Where are we, Drew? Line 4?
7:25🔗
Hi.
7:30🔗
Caller
I was just wondering, I'm bi. And I'm wondering if I should tell my boyfriend or not. Cause I don't want to lie to him, but he seems a little freaked out by my friends that are bi.
8:40🔗
Drew
Yeah. That's where that comes from. That's why people are a little freaked out by that behavior because they know that something happened to you that made you that way.
8:48🔗
Adam
Yeah. You know, it's a weird thing. Hold on a second. Let's talk about this. It's interesting how people work, which is people are pretty instinctive, and they're sort of animalistic in a lot of ways. It's hard to get rid of that part where you take a dump and then look back and admire your handiwork.
9:07🔗
Adam
It's built in. I imagine it's there because you're looking for signs of illness or sickness or seeds or, I don't know what the hell it is, but I just stand there like I'm staring into an aquarium.
9:30🔗
Adam
Yeah, it's just stare at my own fecal matter. But there's certain things we do that modern society has not bred out of us.
9:40🔗
Adam
Almost everything. Now the part where we sort of look out for ourselves and sit down everybody, profile, we can't help. We profile when we see dogs that look mean and we profile when we see people that look angry and we profile when we see people that look F'd up or act F'd up and we react to it and we say, you know, society beats it into us, you know, don't judge a book by its cover, don't profile, no snap decisions, no snap judgments, but we can't help it. So when we see someone who's 14 and announces the world they're bi or has a bunch of aggressive piercings or tattoos, there's a part of us that's a million years old that goes, uh-oh, trouble, trouble, some trouble. Not judging, see that's what we, that's what they want us to think we're doing. The society wants us to think, oh, you're judging. No, no, not judging, reacting.
10:36🔗
Adam
Reacting to something. When I see a dog that's greasy and it's tails tucked in and it's walking sideways and the hair sticking up on its back, am I judging? I'm not judging, I'm reacting.
10:48🔗
Drew
Right. You're using your judgment to react, but you're not judging in some sort of critical way.
10:54🔗
Adam
Right. People don't realize. As you see a guy with eight foot worth of turban on him and wearing the sandals and the gown, sit next to you on the commercial air flight, you're sort of reacting. To ask you to not do that is to ask you not to be a human being. I think the same thing goes on with society and people like Rachael. You see them acting out and it's not that you don't like lesbians or bisexuality or that you're religious, or it's moral, it's just like this person's effed up. This person was physically abused, this person was sexually abused, and now you smell trouble. Yes.
11:30🔗
Drew
Also, when as you get old, you have a perspective too. It's like that's at 14, imagine that at 50. You may not live till see 50.
11:45🔗
Adam
Oh, good. All right. All right. And so your question is, scared to tell him, cause him to freak out.
11:51🔗
Drew
Yeah. The only thing that may freak him out is that you're not monogamous. You're hell bent on it being, oh, he doesn't like that I'm bi. He may just want you for himself, because that's a normal sort of an impulse.
12:07🔗
No.
12:16🔗
Adam
Take the little dollies, turn them in the 69 position, dry a race board, you turn the whole thing.
12:23🔗
Adam
True. Well, Drew, when you're 14, if your girlfriend's like, I'm into chicks too, you wouldn't have known what to make of that, would you?
12:36🔗
Adam
I mean, what would you even, like, you'd just be like, you wouldn't know what that meant.
12:54🔗
Yes.
13:07🔗
Adam
Right. All right. All right. I'm looking to make the Pro Bowl this year, even though I'm not in the NFL. That's what that is. All right.
13:44🔗
Hello.
13:51🔗
Caller
Yeah, ever since I started smoking weed about two months ago, girlfriend introduced me to it. And every time, you know, we try to have sex, I just can't ejaculate.
14:34🔗
Adam
Let me explain something about bogus calls. It's there's a Geneva Convention. These are, we're gladiators. But when we're, but after the bell rings, after the 12th round, you know.
14:52🔗
Adam
You can come back and try again, but you have to be man enough to admit it when we bust you.
15:07🔗
Drew
Yeah. That's, that's also kind of shady. B, C, if, if you're having panic attacks or something, that sometimes happens in the pot.
15:17🔗
Drew
And then, we'll see. Oh, and there was no question. It's like, I smoke weed, I can't ejaculate. Then don't smoke weed. And that's no question then.
15:26🔗
Adam
Right. All right. What about the medical marijuana, Drew? You've been hearing about that?
15:30🔗
Drew
Yeah, I did. I, the new sort of ruling was that the federal law nullifies the state, which everyone kind of knew was going to happen anyway.
15:40🔗
Drew
The federal prevails. The fact that we can't use medical marijuana is bizarre. It's bizarre.
15:45🔗
Drew
You know, it's, we live in a time, I can give morphine, I can give cocaine to people. Not you. Not you. But the point is, I can use far more addictive substances to people if it makes their life more bearable or if it helps them ease them through the dying process.
16:01🔗
Drew
If this is a, if marijuana or some aspect of some cannabinoid helps them through dying, why do we have to withhold that from people?
16:09🔗
Adam
The amount of conversations we have to have about nothing in this society, the amount of arguments and debates, the amount of trees cut down, the amount of paper produced for these things. The idea that there's men all wearing $1,000 suits, there's 800 of them, they're all sitting in a room, everyone's making more than $150,000 a year, and they spend countless, countless hours arguing about this is the part that drives me insane. This, the, just what we need to, what we do in this society. Meanwhile, you know, there's teen pregnancy and terrorists and all kinds of stuff like that, and we're arguing over legalizing or medical marijuana. This has been going on for 40 years, by the way. I mean, we're now literally going to be celebrating like the 40th anniversary of people trying to get pot to be legalized. Here's the thing. There's no one I know who smokes pot that can't find pot. That's number one. Number two, we all have the opportunity to basically spin out at any time, at any moment on anything. I mean, we have to make that decision every day. I have enough booze in my house to kill a rhinoceros. I could go home and drink it all tonight, or I could break it off in the quarters, which is what I do. I actually play, no, not the fraction. I play quarters. No, I have enough food in my refrigerator to eat myself right out of show business and on the morning radio. The point is, is I have a car that'll go 185 miles an hour and I could attempt to do that on the way home in a 55 and end up in a fireball. There are many things, of firearms. We could do it all. We could do it all. At a certain point, a certain percentage of society is going to indulge in this.
18:03🔗
Drew
Well, and what is it about that drug? What is it that makes us so crazy? I think we have, it's sort of a symbol of sort of nefarious acts or something.
18:11🔗
Drew
Its history is somehow sort of smitten with all kinds of ideas about counterculture or sociopathy or something. It really troubles us about who historically has used this drug or what circumstance has been used rather than the drug itself.
18:26🔗
Adam
Well, and also the first, there's a number of arguments that are screwed up about marijuana. The first thing is the right, the white man, the uptight guy who basically just says drugs are drugs. Anyone who's done drugs can tell you there's distinct differences from one drug to the next. That's why they have different names and they cost different amounts. Huge difference between sucking on a joint and doing some acid or mushrooms, speed, cocaine.
18:57🔗
Drew
All right, all right, all right. We'll go with the mushrooms. Hey guys, you're getting high.
19:01🔗
Caller
There's this documentary called Grass, it's really good. Everyone should go out and watch that and it explains the whole thing and how it became illegal and all that.
19:12🔗
Drew
I understand that one thing that bothers me about the way things are with this drug is it is a dangerous drug for some people.
19:18🔗
Drew
It really is. But we can't even have a discussion about that because there's such energy around it.
19:23🔗
Adam
Well, so first off, you know, they just like they just do this big stamp, this huge, you know, they paint it with this huge brush drugs, you know, big difference between your kid doing speed and your kid doing pot. Not that you want them doing either one. But if you had a choice, you definitely would be praying for pot over speed. The next thing is, is I know tons of people that smoke weed that just do it very recreationally. They hold down jobs, they're professionals, they're on time, they pay their taxes, and then Saturday night comes along, the doobie comes out, and they do the same thing with pot as they do with booze. They would never dream of having a cocktail at 8.30 in the morning on a Wednesday, and they would never dream of sucking off a roach at 8.30 in the morning on a Wednesday, unless we're fishing in Baja, in which case it's time to do both. And that's because we're on vacation. That's what I mean. So, first off, everyone is going to make a decision and the government's not really going to stop anyone from doing anything. Certain amount of people are going to quit their jobs.
20:29🔗
Adam
No. No. So, let's just start that. Now, the second part of the problem is the guys that are sort of pro-weed try to pretend like it's some sort of herb that's good for you, that grows from the ground, and how could it be bad? And by the way, how could it be bad? Well, what about the sun? The sun will kill you.
20:48🔗
Drew
Hey, listen, there are plenty of mushrooms. Ammonia phylloides will kill you in seconds.
20:56🔗
Drew
By the way, the reason plants evolve these chemicals on their surface is so... Yeah, kill things and try to eat it. Yeah.
21:02🔗
Adam
Fine. So, I think that's why Chris is sick, by the way, trying to eat an oleander. He smoked some weed and tried to eat a bush. All right. Here's the point. Pot is a drug. It alters you. I don't know what the definition is, but you will be altered, especially by today's weed. Smoke it every day, you'll become a loser. Let's get that straight. It's not some sort of holistic cure-all. Right. It is a drug. Fine. Should adults be able to make decisions on whether they participate in a little weekend recreation? Of course they should. So, obviously, you just have to go ahead and legalize, at least medically, and let people make responsible decisions. There's always going to be a small percentage of society. And here's the thing, too, everybody. There's always going to be a small percentage of society that Fs up. There's going to be a... You're going to be at a ballgame. There's going to be 40,000 people in the stands, and there's going to be one guy who takes a beer bottle and throws it at the first base umpire. Okay. Now, none of us. Now we can all drink our beer out of a Dixie cup. That's how it works. And then with drugs, it's the same way. With weed, it's the same way. Really, if you think about it. I know a hundred people that smoke weed on weekends. No problems at all. And then there's one guy who drops out of high school, can't stop smoking it, and now nobody can smoke it. It's really, that's all society has turned into. One percent of the population either writes a letter or F's up or sues, and now we're all treated like 14 year olds. So people I know who make hundreds of thousands of dollars a year, live in big homes, support families, are the heads of corporations. They can't smoke weed legally because Johnny F. Up from Kentucky, who's 14, tried to bring someone to school in South. Says, oh no, no one can. That drives me nuts about this society. Yes, Drew?
23:15🔗
Adam
Right, and here's the other thing too that pisses me off about all this drug stuff, and especially weed. You know, when they find over a couple ounces, they give you that intent to distribute. Don't they have to catch you distributing the stuff?
23:32🔗
Adam
Yeah, they could find an arsenal and ski mask and police scanners in your car. They couldn't bust people- Robbing a bank.
23:39🔗
Adam
You gotta wait till you rob the bank. But if you have a basket of weed at your house, none of, you were gonna sell it.
23:46🔗
Adam
Yeah. Yeah, and then all the people in prison and all the courts being tied up, really. What year is this? What's going on?
23:59🔗
Yes.
24:04🔗
Caller
I had a weird question. I was doing some research today about massaging the prostate. Why? Came across, why?
24:30🔗
Yeah, it's all over.
24:35🔗
Adam
Oh, Sheila Ward stars as a prostate milker. I think that was on Oxygen. It was two-parter. I think Rosie played a retarded chick in that one. Yeah, it's all over. It's all over.
24:58🔗
Caller
I'm writing a report. Yes, it's my college paper, my final paper. I'm writing about prostate milking.
25:05🔗
Adam
It's tough. On one hand, it screams junior college. On the other hand, it's actually work being done. So it smacks of a four-year university.
25:16🔗
Drew
You want to talk about milking the prostate to relieve congestion when a physician does it?
25:20🔗
Caller
Well, I don't know. I came across a website, a European website, and they were saying something to make sense that massaging the prostate can give a guy good orgasm and then also that it can prevent prostate cancer.
25:32🔗
Drew
No, it cannot prevent prostate. Wait, let me talk to Kristen. What year are you in medical school? What year are you in medical school?
25:41🔗
Drew
All right. There was an Australian study that showed a slightly decreased risk in prostate cancer, men that ejaculated frequently, especially men that masturbated frequently. That was the only study that showed any association between any of this stuff and prostate cancer. When you are later in your training, you will see guys with prostate inflammation, prostate infections, epididymitis. Sometimes it helps to milk the prostate to relieve some of the lymphatic congestion. That is not a sexual act. That is a therapeutic maneuver.
26:17🔗
Drew
Yeah, you push hard. You push against it. And a little bit of pus comes out the front. And then you take a little slide, a Microsoft slide, and you put it on the slide and look at it.
26:38🔗
Adam
All right, let's take ourselves a little break. When we come back, we'll speak to Scott. 27 Still a Virgin. Oh yeah, after this.
27:17🔗
Adam
Yeah, everybody, get it on. That's what I'm talking about. All right, Drew, where were we?
27:30🔗
Scott.
27:45🔗
Caller
Yeah. Last week I was listening and Dr. D did surgery in the studio, it sounded like, and took care of that boil.
27:59🔗
Adam
I guess it worked out. Oh, I had something like right on my hair. My hairline was like it was an ingrown hair or something.
28:18🔗
Caller
Well, so my situation and Dr. D nailed it on the end there is that, I was born and raised in Provo, Utah, and I came from a very religious family where sex was looked in as a cardinal sin that's been straight to hell unless you were married. Never been really interested in the married thing.
28:47🔗
Drew
You're at University of Arizona? Yes. That's actually good. I was the commencement speaker there a couple of years ago. It's a really good medical school.
29:18🔗
Caller
Yeah, I've been very happy with it for sure. And so, but, you know, Dr. do you know that you're exposed to reality pretty well in your, your third year of wards where you just see patients for the first time. And it really got me thinking and really kind of set myself straight that I'm, I'm supposed to live for myself and not for some organization. And anyway, about six months ago, I, I started thinking that, you know, sex is probably a pretty good thing. I should probably try it out. And about two months ago, I hooked up with a nurse at the hospital and she and I are getting along really good. Um, problem is that, uh, I haven't told her that, that, that next week, next week, we're going to go off to Flagstaff for a weekend. Um, I haven't told her that she's quote christening the ship with me.
30:05🔗
Drew
That's your working hard as your third year. Things aren't going to get worse next couple of years in terms of your work commitments. Just, just relax.
30:20🔗
Adam
All right. Well, just listen to, we, we speak as one with one nasally voice on this one, Scott. There's really you telling her really no upside, no upside doesn't get you anywhere. I know it's a way, it's sort of, hold on a second. Let's talk saying, saying you're a virgin before you get into bed. I think people look at it as you're singing karaoke or something at a party or your best man and you're delivering the best man toast and you're like, I just want to start off by saying I really didn't have any time to prepare anything. So I'm not used to public speaking, but Matt is a great guy. It's a little apology at the beginning. So like, don't, don't judge.
31:05🔗
Drew
It's an apology and it's also a, you're wanting to make a moment out of it. You don't need to, you're 27, you're not 19.
31:33🔗
Caller
I've got two weeks here to catch up on the last nine years. I mean, she's obviously, she's not, you know, sexually naïve and... Right.
31:43🔗
Drew
Well, Scott, wait, here's the deal. You're the perfect circumstance to be, A, you're a physician, you're nearly a physician, you understand the anatomy, you understand how things work. Use it. You needn't be, this is not a mysterious act for you. Yes. And your instincts, believe me, will take care of themselves. Your limbic system. Yes. Your reward apparatus is functioning normally. It'll go. It's just a spinal reflex anyway.
32:12🔗
Enjoy.
32:19🔗
Drew
You need to do that. And you know what also this sounds like? You know what it sounds like? It sounds like this is guilt and shame moving into this. This is all your years of religiosity coming into that weekend going, shouldn't I be doing something else?
32:33🔗
Caller
Well yeah, I mean obviously I've got a really skewed outlook on this because for 79% of my sexual life it's been a very bad slap on the wrist. No, no, you don't even think like this. And now, hot damn, I'm going through it.
32:55🔗
Caller
Well, she surprised me in my call room about three weeks ago. And, you know, I was actually, quote, saved by the beeper because she started to go down and I wasn't going to last long enough for you and my scrubs off. But my beeper went off and I was able to kind of get out of there without being too embarrassed.
33:18🔗
Adam
Yeah. All right, Scott, you're fine. Don't worry. Stop. I don't know what to do. And listen, by the end of the weekend, you'll be coming out of there.
33:30🔗
Adam
Oh, it'll be like Drew. It'll be awesome. But here's the thing. Lots of oral sex. Don't get freaked out. And don't talk. Do not talk too much. That's only going to get you into trouble. Only open your mouth to breathe and think.
33:44🔗
Drew
Completely into him. I hope he's got to decide he's making the choice and then just dive. If he's conflicted about it, maybe, you know.
34:28🔗
Caller
A man was found masturbating in a tree last Tuesday. The tree was located in front of a Catholic schoolyard. The man, age 32, was spotted by a nun who quickly called police. When the police showed up at the schoolyard, the man jumped out from the tree with his pants down. The man was also a five-time convicted pedophile. Germany or Florida.
34:58🔗
Drew
Let's add it up here. The whole county school sounds a little bit... Doesn't sound like Florida, though. Sounds...
35:05🔗
Drew
OK, the police showing up for that kind of thing, it sounds a little Florida. No pants, a little Florida. The whole pedophile thing, you know, not being taken care of, sounds Florida.
35:36🔗
Drew
Yes, exactly. But Catholic school already throws me off Florida. Are there Catholic schools in Florida? There must be.
35:45🔗
Adam
I've been going Germany just to mix it up, but I've been getting burned, but I'm staying with it. Salim, I'm going Germany. Drew's going Florida. The answer is Adam, you're a god.
36:03🔗
Gotta get it on.
36:05🔗
Yeah.
36:07🔗
Get it on. Oh, yeah. Yeah.
36:11🔗
Thank you.
36:18🔗
We were going to Florida all the way.
36:20🔗
Adam
Yeah. Well, it's just everything effed up feels like Florida every time there's a pedophile in the tree. It just...
36:28🔗
Adam
Germany's pretty effed up. I was just reading, actually I wasn't reading, but my wife was reading in a magazine and I forced her to read it out loud to me. Anne Frank would have been 75 like today or yesterday or something like that.
36:45🔗
Adam
Well, you kill someone when they're 13, 14, you know what I mean? Just start thinking about those fine Germans. First off, that wasn't even in Germany.
36:55🔗
Adam
Yeah. Secondly, the war's almost over. Now, the guy, Anne Frank's dad, this is the author of the diary of Anne Frank, the dad made it through.
37:08🔗
Adam
Yeah. It was like his 12, 13 year old daughter and then he had another 16 year old daughter got snuffed out too. Yeah. We're trying to conduct a war here, but we got a little free time. We're just going to be kicking in farmhouse doors, going upstairs. What do you got? It's a couple of chicks there. What are you in the seventh grade? Uh-huh. What are you? A freshman, sophomore? Oh, junior.
37:41🔗
Drew
This isn't a judge. A defense of anything by any means. But I was just seeing some material about what the Russians did when they came into Berlin.
37:54🔗
Adam
Russians were not a great folks either. Look, everybody, the more you learn about other countries, especially during wartime, the more you should appreciate this country. Take a look at the Japanese and what they did with their prisoners of war. A little bit on Death March. Take a look at the Germans, the concentration camps. Take a look at the Russians when the sweet, sweet payback came toward the end in Berlin. And I mean, not that they didn't have it coming, but more just random acts of rape and violence. God knows what. Just more violence on violence. And then take a look at this country. That, yeah, yeah, that's all you need to know. But all I'm saying is, let's bomb Germany. I just started thinking about poor Anne Frank and her poor sister really barely gets any ink. Few years, you know, she was an old fogey. She was 16. Just once in junior high or high school, round them up, pull them out, snuff them, snuff them. And so then after it's clear you guys lost, after you try to take over the world and, you know, snuff out every Jew on the planet, we're cool. What do you guys need? You guys need some? Oh, well, oh, oh, the Russians have cut your capital in half. We'll airlift in some supplies, keep you guys going over there in West Germany. What do you need? Need a few cans of tuna? What do you need? You're cool? What do you got? You got a Porsche? Bring it on over. We'll buy it. No, no, put the crappy brakes on it for us. We'll still buy it. Yeah. Yeah. I say we bomb them one more time, just one good bombing. Just one. I mean, not one bomb, but, you know, carpet bombing, but just hit them once. And then it'd be, and it's just gonna be, oh, sorry, Germany, well, what do you know? We made a mistake. But you'll forgive us, right? And help us?
40:32🔗
Hey, yeah, get it on.
40:39🔗
Got to get it on.
40:45🔗
Adam
I like when people add the extra little retard parsley by the side of that dish where they go, I believe that everything happens for, oh, you believe? What are you, an idiot? I believe that everything happens for a reason.
41:04🔗
Drew
I find it interesting in that last color we had that was very religious and then what he gets exposed to.
41:14🔗
Drew
And then he sort of gets into how humans actually work and becomes a scientist and is like, oh, wait a minute.
41:20🔗
Adam
Well, I believe everything happens for a reason. And whoever interviews these idiots always goes, oh, okay. No one goes, what the F does that mean? Sir Reus of Tard? Does that mean anything? Yeah. Idiots. Everyone's an idiot but me, Drew.
41:58🔗
Caller
Probably like 10 minutes, I guess. It'd be maybe 15, 20 minutes, you know? And then right when I'm about the climax, and then I'm going full throttle at it, you know? And then that's what happens most of the time.
42:16🔗
Drew
Have you ever tried putting the lubricant on the tip of the penis before you put the condom on?
42:21🔗
Caller
Um, I actually went to Kaiser and I bought some special condoms that had Aqualuve, I think it's called.
42:49🔗
Caller
Yeah, I've tried Trojan, Lifestyles. I went to Planned Parenthood and they gave me some there.
43:20🔗
Drew
Goat skin, nice, Frank. And then there's some of the piercing shops have reinforced condoms, very thick ones.
43:34🔗
Caller
I mean, because it's not a problem because my girlfriend's wet, seriously. She's really wet. So, I mean, I don't know what I'm doing. Maybe it's the position.
43:48🔗
Adam
Yeah. Get her on the pill. Get her wetness on the pill. Number one. Number two, sometimes stuff happens where you have a bad run with things randomly. Drew has a saying for that, which is random events segregate non-random.
44:12🔗
Adam
And it's weird. You'll buy TV, you'll plug it in, it won't work. Then you'll buy a DVD player, you'll plug it in, it won't work. And you'll make that announcement. How come every piece of something... It just happened together.
44:23🔗
Adam
This guy broke three condoms over the course of a weekend. He may never break another one.
44:29🔗
Adam
For another 20 years. Involving illegals being smuggled in in vans. People dying at sea. Maritime. Mostly maritime stuff happens for a reason. That guy at the Achille Laurel, the terrorist, the guy in the wheelchair. Yeah, the guy shot him and then the terrorist dumped him in the ocean. For a reason. Cause everything, I believe, everything happens for a reason. Joe?
45:25🔗
Adam
27 and Frank getting rounded up and brought to concentration camp for a reason. Same with their sister. Everything. That's what I believe.
45:44🔗
Drew
I guess it's possible. There's something called herpetic Whitlow. You can get herpes on the finger.
45:55🔗
Caller
Okay, so I did the nerd, get the personals online thing, and I was corresponding with this chick, and then I asked her for her phone number, and she gave it to me, right? So I called this chick up and said, Hi, how you doing? You want to meet?
46:34🔗
Caller
She said that you could take a cab. She lived across town, so I was like, I can cover that.
46:42🔗
Caller
No, it turns out it's not her. Somebody was playing a prank on me, and they gave me the number for this chick. I talked to her, and she didn't know what the hell I was talking about.
46:53🔗
Adam
All right, well she gave you a hand job, and you gave her cab fare, which seems like a decent trade out. Again, everything happening for a reason. I think there's a fair amount of people on the internet, who are women on the internet, who are saying they're looking for a good time, looking to hook up, looking to have fun, who are basically prostitutes.
47:18🔗
Adam
We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back after this. Hey, everybody. It's the Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. And I believe everything happens for a reason. Just like that.
48:14🔗
Drew
Hey, speaking of which, speaking of the reasons, I'd like people to please tune in to Discovery Health Channel on Wednesday night.
48:19🔗
Drew
A new show, 9 o'clock on the West Coast, midnight on the East, check your local listing, 11 o'clock in Chicago.
48:27🔗
Drew
The first show is about orgasms, and the shows get more and more intense as you move through the season, more about relationships, and hey, surprise, surprise, abuse. I talked to like Jillian Barber. She comes on and talks about her sexual abuse history.
48:39🔗
Drew
It was beautiful. We had a penis fracture call this evening. I do a penis repair surgery and a penis enlargement surgery, and the vaginal reconstruction is good stuff.
49:13🔗
Caller
Not much. Basically, whenever I'm having sex with my fiance, whatever, after I come, I can't even, I have to stop, go soft right away and can't go for another 15, 20 minutes.
49:27🔗
Caller
Like, what can I do about that? Because it kind of sucks. Is that pissing her off? And she gets...
49:31🔗
Drew
Wait a minute, Mike, Mike, do you have some fantasy that after your orgasm, guys just keep going eternally? Well, here's male physiology, even young males, the orgasm, you lose your erection, you have a refractory phase. It's anywhere from 10 minutes to about 12 hours. Adam, is that 12 hours? Are you good in 12 hours? Two days.
49:59🔗
Caller
All right, then, guys. I mean, it just sucks, because afterwards she feels all used and if I...
50:10🔗
Drew
I think he's so retarded, though. I think that he can't quite figure out what the problem is. The problem sounds like he doesn't last long enough, or he's not paying attention to her maybe doing oral sex beforehand. Something that can sort of get her to the right place before he has his orgasm. Did I talk to you about this new medication that's coming out for this?
50:25🔗
Adam
I, by the way, heard the tone of Mike's... I heard the first syllable out of Mike, just the first ehh, and I just tuned out completely. I have no idea what his question was. So anyway, Drew.
50:39🔗
Adam
I was actually hearing a babbling brook. It's rainforest. Go ahead, Drew. What was he talking about?
50:49🔗
Drew
There is a new medication coming out for premature E though. That's going to be pretty cool. Yeah. It's going to double or triple guys' times. Yeah. In about a year. You're already the ninja there. You don't have to worry about that.
51:03🔗
Adam
Yeah. I never had that problem. I just, I did it when I wanted to do it. And not before and not after. And everything happens for a reason, especially when it comes out of my penis. That's the way I always say, you know, it's what I say. It's what I believe. Your command. And there's no, I don't know, you know, look, me trying to teach that to someone is like somebody trying to teach me how to curl my tongue up.
51:31🔗
Drew
Right. As you and I have talked about, I think that's a function of how you're configured wired. You don't have a pulse. Your parasympathetic system is in charge.
51:41🔗
Drew
Right. That's what I'm talking about. And other people have the sympathetic system in charge, which is the engine, the accelerator.
52:09🔗
Adam
And, you know, and then you better look out because you're going to get hit with a tidal wave of thimble full of powder. That's basically what it is now. But Drew, Drew's a man of passion.
52:25🔗
Adam
Drew has an engine. And Drew has energy. You know, you watch him eat, you can see he's passionate. Passionate man when it comes to food, passionate. Passion when it comes, see, Drew is a guy who, when you put something before him, he has to dig into it. Yes. You can't tell Drew, here, here's some junk. I want you to do get to it at your leisure. Drew, Drew, you'll jump on it. It'll haunt you. It'll bother you. I don't know what that is.
52:57🔗
Adam
Well it does because I tell, you know, Drew and look, we got a six hour flight. How about you wait till we get off the ground before you dig into whatever. And you know, Drew gets excited. We get it on this show. We have to do liners and stuff to hand it to a Drew Dress. He has to do it that second.
53:14🔗
Adam
It's annoying when you don't do it because then it just points out how lazy I am. Really.
53:26🔗
Adam
Something. No, here's how you used to be, Drew. If we, you know, it's a two hour show. There's, I don't know, five, six breaks during the course of the show. We would get some what they call liners from an affiliate. Big, hey, you're listening to Loveline and WKGG the big rock of Arkansas. That's good. Anyway, and it'd be about 30 seconds worth of work, three or four lines and producer and would throw it at us during the first break. And we go to commercial. Let's say, let's take a leak and get some coffee and talk some smack about the guest. And Drew would say, oh, we got to do the liners. And I'd say, yeah, we'll do them at the top of the hour. Drew, you would be bothered, shaken. You'd want to get rid of it. It would bother you that it was sitting here. And my thing was, if we don't do it tonight, we'll do it tomorrow night. You can't imagine a ton of energy. You don't have that so much anymore. We had some liners dropped off tonight. Drew made it a whole hour before we did it. He's DT-ing. He's got...
54:27🔗
Drew
But you can't imagine the intensity of what... I know part of it's in my biology, but the training. I've let go of a lot of stuff that... Seriously, I'm almost embarrassed that I'm not the way I used to be in terms of the, yes sir, be right on that. The medical training really makes you very much sort of a military guy.
54:47🔗
Adam
Yeah, yeah, I know, but it's like, I don't know. I played 10 years of football. I know what it's like to run around and get ran around, but stop doing it. You don't have to do it anymore. You don't do it anymore.
55:04🔗
Yeah?
55:07🔗
Yes.
55:11🔗
Well, no, it's after I masturbate.
55:13🔗
Drew
All right, some women, yeah, some women do that. It doesn't, are you on the birth control pill?
55:17🔗
No.
55:20🔗
No, just for the last two months. I recently had a lap band surgery and ever since I've had-
55:28🔗
What?
55:31🔗
400.
55:33🔗
Yeah.
55:35🔗
Adam
Now by the way, when someone says four, like there's a party that goes, ah, come on, she's 470. She's just rounding down. But four, you don't need to find. Four is fine.
55:49🔗
Oh, 50 pounds so far.
55:55🔗
Adam
Okay. Let me let me tell you about goal weights first off, because when you're four, your goal weight can be 260. Then you're 5'3, 260. Right. Now, you got your goal weight's got to be, you know, Katie Holmes weight.
56:21🔗
Drew
Well, clearly, not clearly, but I have no doubt that it's something related to the gastric stapling or the banding.
56:39🔗
Drew
It really can screw with your menstrual cycling, being overweight, losing weight rapidly, all that. Watch out for gallbladder attacks. That's one of the big complications of this.
56:54🔗
Drew
Sometimes they take the gallbladder out when they're in there, just to prevent that stuff.
57:03🔗
Adam
Yeah. And, you know, when you see those pictures of you at 5, you're big, right? Yes. I think this procedure is just something people ought to do if this is going to be their life.
57:26🔗
Adam
If that's not in your genetic cards, it's impossible to make it to 400 pounds. You probably was, you know, 375 at 18. You can't do it if that's not in the cards genetically.
57:38🔗
Adam
Oh, people do that. Oh, you got to be more active. Are you high? There's no teenager alive that doesn't just live off of fast food. I mean, find me a teenager that gives a rat's ass, especially when we were growing up. You didn't even know from that. You eat whatever is put in front of you. Eat the crap at school. It's nothing but fish sticks and sticky buns and Kool-Aid. I mean, come on. You're obviously packing on, you know, 40 pounds for every one pound another average teenager would pack on. I mean, I knew guys who just ate everything all the time, all the time. They'd go pick out, you know, before the morning, we're going to do pars.
58:21🔗
Adam
And a milkshake. Yeah. And give me a slice of danish, a piece of danish to go. I'm going to smoke and smoke out when I get home.
58:28🔗
Adam
I guess six pack abs. Yeah. So they should write a book. And poor Chris should be punished. But here's how it works. You get the surgery at 20 because A, you could wait until 40, but what? A bunch of yo-yoing, you're 400 pounds. What's the lightest you get to 311? You know what I'm saying?
58:49🔗
Adam
Starving yourself, screwing with your metabolism, binging, purging, never going anywhere, all this stuff. Just get the surgery. You need this surgery like someone needs a corrective eye surgery, like your ear or any surgery. You were dealt a defective body.
59:14🔗
Drew
And there may be some medication someday to manipulate some of those messages from the brain to the stomach and whatnot, the leptins and this sort of thing, the ghrelins, that's all stuff that's being worked on now. So, we may one day not need to have the surgery. Maybe it's blocking medicines.
59:28🔗
Adam
Well, like I said, I had a friend who just underwent this at probably age 40. The guy yo-yoed his entire life, you know what I mean? And he just couldn't do it. He couldn't keep it off. He was disciplined at times, but just it was impossible. To got the surgery, boom, it's 185 pounds. And it's gonna save his life. And he just should have done it 20 years ago. So, God bless you, Krista.
59:57🔗
Drew
Don't worry about the bleeding. Talk to your doctor about that. I'm sure all sorts of menstrual irregularities and even ovarian cysts, all sorts of funky things can happen the way it's going down.
1:00:03🔗
Adam
Let me ask you this too, Drew. Better skin-wise to do this at 20 than at 40. I was thinking that.
1:00:08🔗
Drew
And healing-wise, if she decides to have all the, surgically all the extra skin removed, the healing would be better at 20 than at 40.
1:00:32🔗
Adam
One night stand. So who was this man? I want to talk to him. How much, how much, when did this happen?
1:01:46🔗
Adam
You're probably going to say, A, you believe that everything happens for a reason, including molestation and morbid obesity.
1:01:53🔗
Adam
There's a plan to that. But B, the people that were sexually abused create this sort of wall of weight around them.
1:02:02🔗
Drew
But some of the extreme weight excesses I've seen, oftentimes at the conclusion of the abuse, the dad, the uncle, will give them food, cookies and things, and get this sort of crazy association with the abuse.
1:02:17🔗
Drew
She would say, here, honey, I did this because I love you so much. Here's some cookie and milk, and let's settle down about this.
1:02:43🔗
Adam
Oh, they don't work. Okay, but when they do, off and on, they do a little construction, right?
1:02:53🔗
Adam
Okay, now I'm starting to get angry, Chris. And the point is, is God bless you with the surgery, keep the weight off. Guy called a couple of times.
1:03:02🔗
Drew
Deal with the abuse. Here's what's gonna happen now, you're gonna lose the weight, and then you're gonna get depressed because people are gonna start coming approaching to you, you're gonna start getting close to people, and that's gonna freak you out. Make sure you get some therapy.
1:03:12🔗
Adam
I got one more call. I got one more thing, Drew. I gotta do it. And I feel so strongly about this this time that I can't be wrong. Krista?
1:03:27🔗
Adam
Oh my God. I'm sorry, baby. I, you know, I had such a strong impulse. Yeah. Especially when I heard about the cousins.
1:03:35🔗
Adam
Yeah. I heard about the cousins jumping in in the morbid obesity. All right. Keep that tummy stapled. And everyone should just get this now. Just get your health assessed. Everybody.
1:04:14🔗
Drew
He's sitting there, but he looks disgusted with you, though, Adam. He's really disgusted.
1:04:20🔗
Adam
Graduation is just around the corner for him, and he's not sure. He's got to pass that biology final.
1:04:35🔗
Adam
Do they even have a graduation ceremony for Jason? Here's be my graduation ceremony if I ran a junior college. Okay.
1:04:52🔗
Adam
Yeah. I was trying to scare Coyote away from my property like I was a rancher. Saw a grizzly bear standing up around the fence, around the cattle. Come on now.
1:05:48🔗
Caller
Yes. I had a quick question. Kind of an odd experience happened to me. I was out with a friend and we we were going on a road trip to Philadelphia and we stayed at a motel and all we could get is a single bed. They didn't have doubles or you know, two beds. So we stayed in one and later that night I kind of felt something near the genital area and I figured out he had his hand on my pants and I was just kind of curious whether I should confront him about it or if I should let it go. I mean I assumed this guy was straight because he's been my friend for a long time, but now I've.
1:07:17🔗
Caller
Yeah, because I didn't want to, that would be awkward if I would, you know, What are you doing?
1:07:22🔗
Drew
Awkward, awkward to say the guy could knock it off after he's just tried to rape you. That'd be awkward.
1:07:56🔗
Caller
We were going back for graduation with a, we have a good friend, we've been friends for a long time. And we have another friend that graduated from Penn.
1:08:22🔗
Drew
So listen, here's the let it ride. Some, you know, you learn something about your friend, don't be along with him.
1:08:35🔗
Adam
Is there a percentage of guys that are not gay that are capable of this kind of maneuver?
1:08:43🔗
Drew
I believe that. I think they actually, usually have some trauma history themselves, sexual trauma, sometimes.
1:08:53🔗
Drew
These guys that are not gay but have sex with men. There is such a thing. And there's sort of a spectrum between gay and not gay but have sex with men. Of guys that's sort of like kind of screwed with, they're kind of not quite clear, they get an opportunity, they kind of don't know the boundaries very well.
1:09:16🔗
Adam
Yes. Many of course are gay but then there's the group, subgroup that actually are married and have relations with women that are actually gay.
1:09:43🔗
Adam
You know what I'm saying? They're guys that got sucked into the SS. They were scared they were going to get shot or the families were going to be hurt. So they just got sucked into it. You know what I'm saying? Doesn't mean you have to like them. You know what I'm saying? Publicists are bad people.
1:10:01🔗
Adam
Here's the thing. They're like meter maids. Everyone says, everyone defends meter maids. Ah, they're just doing their job. They're just doing their chicken ass job that they don't have to do.
1:10:20🔗
Drew
And she's able to sort of help. It's almost like an assistant. She organizes the stories and things and helps me decide where I'm going to go. It's helpful. It's very helpful. And she knows the people that we're doing this for and stuff. I could not do it myself.
1:10:32🔗
Adam
There are people that lack character and dignity. If they had an ounce of dignity, they'd be doing something else. One ounce, one shred of character, they'd be doing something else. And instead, they're barnacles on the ass of show business. That's really what they are. Publicists everybody. Yes, I have one. It's a long, long story. I haven't wanted them for about five years. Is it Cafferalli? I don't even know who. Oh, is it Bragman, Niemann and Cafferalli? I don't even know. I've never spoken to them. Drew, believe me, I've never spoken to them. Never. Never.
1:11:14🔗
Adam
That's how we get people not to come on the show as those JO publicists. They're just they're bad people. Look, here's the thing. They don't do anything for a living. Do you know what I'm saying? And I know as a doctor, Drew, you don't respect that. We don't do anything for a living either, but at least I'm a carpenter. And at least you're a doctor. You see what I'm saying? These people, they don't do anything. If this was 100 years ago, 50 years ago, they'd be gone.
1:11:41🔗
Drew
Well, this is bad. At least they aren't standing around arguing about ridiculous things like the people in suits make $150,000 a year. We talked about earlier tonight. Arguing about nothing. In fact, bogging down the system. They don't bog it down so much, so much.
1:11:54🔗
Adam
Okay. Oh, yes, they do. Here's all I'm saying. I think people judge their worth by how much they make a year, not by what they contribute or what they actually do.
1:12:04🔗
Adam
I have much more respect for the guys who make $30,000 a year swinging a hammer than the publicists who make $200,000 a year doing nothing. Thank you. Take a Chris is nodding his head over there. And I have much more respect for engineer Chris who makes, well, let's see. Let's do some quick math here.
1:12:22🔗
Adam
Ten bucks an hour. Yeah, it's 20 bucks a shift. Five nights a week. Oh, he's not here all five nights. No, we hear four nights, three or four nights, three nights. OK, that's 60 bucks a week. That's 120. It's 240 a month. Two times 12. It makes about 3000.
1:12:44🔗
Adam
But I'm telling you, in a few short years, your mom will be living with you because that's how it works when you get near 30s.
1:12:56🔗
Adam
Yeah. Let's take ourselves a little break. And then and then taxes taken out of that. We'll take ourselves a quick break. We'll be right back after this.
1:13:06🔗
Caller
Thank you for calling Loveline. Your call will be answered in the order it seems interesting.
1:13:24🔗
Adam
It's Loveline, everybody. I'll tell you, I believe everything happens for a reason. And that's why I have to get it on. Yes.
1:13:36🔗
Drew
I am. And I'm still begging people to turn on Discovery Health Channel on Wednesday. Don't forget to check your local listing. I think it's 11 o'clock Chicago, midnight East Coast, 9 o'clock West Coast.
1:14:02🔗
Adam
Wow. Why bother having, you know, 55-inch plasma if you're not going to have TiVo, Drew? You know what I mean?
1:14:20🔗
Adam
Well, why have the satellite dish with the three feeds if you don't have that and get the MLB package?
1:14:39🔗
Adam
He he ordered up he ordered up the Major League Baseball package, which is one of those things where you can't get out of it.
1:14:46🔗
Adam
I'm cheap. Even though I spent a ton of money on nonsense, there's something about the 250 bucks. And I don't like baseball anyway. I never watch it. And watching it on TV is ridiculous. Anyway, the point is, is he ordered this thing and then moved out of the house six months later, and that was five years ago. And I've been paying for the package.
1:15:15🔗
Adam
And caught it at game number five of season number four. And said, I got to cancel this. And they're like, oh no, can't do it.
1:15:26🔗
Adam
Can't do it. You guys automatically, I didn't sign up, you know, you guys automatically, such a scam, by the way. So to pay for a fourth season, I wasn't watching that I didn't sign up for. Don't you think there's, there's if you really brought these things to, you got to the Supreme Court with certain things, you would win.
1:15:54🔗
Adam
You renewed it automatically. I didn't renew it. And now I can't get out of it because you renewed it. Oh, interesting. And by the way, this is why everyone with their policies. Yeah, it's policy.
1:16:19🔗
Caller
Okay. My question is, my boyfriend and I decided to try something totally new. And I used one of my toys on him. And ever since he's been complaining of like really bad stomach cramps.
1:16:35🔗
Caller
It was kind of a mutual thing. Like we were just, boy, I wanted to try something new.
1:16:38🔗
Drew
No. That's not how that kind of thing goes down. Somebody has to have some momentum with this. Who had it?
1:16:55🔗
Drew
He's gay. That is not something a guy would normally come forward with unless he really wanted you to do that. You know what I mean? That's not something like, I'm bored. Why don't you put something up? Try it over here.
1:17:05🔗
Drew
It's like, come on. That's not an, I'm bored maneuver. That's a, here's my chance maneuver.
1:17:12🔗
Drew
All right. Now here's the deal. If he has cramps persistent, either any number of serious medical problems he can cause tears in the colon. He could have peritonitis. He could have an abscess, perirectal abscess.
1:17:28🔗
Adam
There was no strap-on action here. This is all just three on the tree, as we like to say. You know what I mean? That's a column shift.
1:17:52🔗
Adam
I never drove a car like that, but old trucks and stuff, old cars used to have the column shift as opposed to...
1:18:05🔗
Adam
So I'm guessing non-strap-on, I like to call three on the tree. So, Amanda. Yes. And what size batteries did this column shift take?
1:18:26🔗
Adam
Yeah, diameter. Because I could fit, you know, basically a handful of AA's up me, where C's I could fit like four.
1:18:51🔗
Adam
Yeah. Well, look, Drew, this is like when a guy in the Mafia gets shot. Do you know what I mean?
1:19:15🔗
Caller
I mean, like after it happened, he actually like cried. It hurt him so bad. And he was kind of afraid that it was like intestinal damage.
1:19:42🔗
Drew
Jogging, I found a little hideout of a homeless guy. And man, there was that coil pot.
1:19:52🔗
Adam
So I make a slab pot of duke and sometimes a pinch pot of duke. And I fire it in the by digging a hole to a rye coo method.
1:20:05🔗
Adam
Rye coo poo. Yeah. If you just you got to get the oak where it seems to work the best. But birch or any other hardwood will work. Works well.
1:20:21🔗
Drew
Well, not the hospital necessarily, but a doctor for sure. Somewhere we can maybe doesn't feel scrutinized. But he probably has a CAT scan and maybe a barium enema or colonoscopy.
1:20:29🔗
Adam
What's barium enema going to do? You mean that you could do the barium enema and it cleans everything out?
1:20:41🔗
Drew
Well, the reason I'm thinking of a barium enema is sometimes you can see, you know, barium fills the colon if there's little leaks and things.
1:20:48🔗
Drew
You might do what's called a high-peg enema. It's a barium liquid basically, or a high-peg. It's a little lower density.
1:21:04🔗
Drew
Straight X-rays. Those were the only thing we had before colonoscopy is MRIs and CT scans. And now something like this, you might do something to see if there's any leak in the colon.
1:21:39🔗
Adam
You could lose 50 pounds. I mean, look, if you look at one of those body mass index things, six two guys are supposed to be 185, like 179 and stuff. It's crazy.
1:22:02🔗
Drew
All right. So I'm not sure they would do the surgery at your age because sometimes it remits. Or your weight. Yeah. You have to lose some weight a couple more years down the line. This thing kind of tends to get better on its own, but there is a liposuction that they'll do sometimes, and sometimes they can actually cut the breast tissue if there's a lot of glandular material there.
1:22:44🔗
Caller
No, they don't do that anymore. It's the public school weenie kids have cried out the humiliation in the Speedo line too many times.
1:23:03🔗
Adam
I wouldn't care if it slowed me down. I'd want to look good standing up on that thing, you know, where you dive off of. Yeah. All right. John, 250 pounds, unless you're just some sort of physical specimen in your old muscle, which probably probably probably should lose a few pounds. Secondly, maybe the swim team is not the best place for Aquaman boobs to to be at. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Let's try the football team. You get to wear shoulder pads, jersey, you'd be big. Plenty of guys who play ball, play football, they got man boobs. Sure. There's nose tackles, they're 350 pounds and stuff, but they just ain't wearing speedo and standing up in front of God and everyone.
1:23:44🔗
Adam
Yeah. So here's the thing, go on a diet, consult a plastic surgeon and maybe in a couple of years you do it.
1:24:34🔗
Drew
We're talking about man boobs, and here's a guy, Mark, who's 23, has had the man-boob surgery.
1:24:58🔗
Caller
Well, all right. So I was, I don't know, I was a pretty tall, lean kid growing up. Then I got into Nintendo, started sitting around on the inside a lot, and then started to get a little chubby. And then as I got older, I started to grow up, and I got rid of my flab everywhere else except for my chest, and it continued to just get bigger. And so I basically went to the doctor and asked, you know, is there any way that I can get rid of these, you know, and he's looking at me. I'm a pretty lean guy. I had about 15% body fat, and that was including the man breasts. So they ended up having no other option, but I went on to the next gauge of 16.
1:25:36🔗
Caller
And had them taken out, and now I'm 23, and I've had no signs of them come back ever since.
1:25:56🔗
Adam
Good. Here's the deal. Thank you. Again, we keep getting back to this theme, but just genetics. He's 16, he's got man boobs. That's it. Some guys start going bald at 22. Some people have a mono brown, a brillo head.
1:26:16🔗
Adam
Better yet, how about the folks that don't have the mono brown, the brillo head writing books on how not to have a mono brown, a brillo head? What could be more absurd? Hey, Kathy Ireland's going to write a book about what it's like to be hot. That's what all you retard models out there. Don't write a book on how to be hot. That's impossible. It's really it's like Michael Jordan writing a book on how to dunk a basketball. Here's you got to be a brother. You got to be 6'8, and you have to have a 43-inch vertical leap. That's how you dunk a basketball. No reading that's going to get my ass up there to dunk that basketball. So instead of supermodels writing all these workout books and routine books and all these books about how to become one, why don't you just write books on what it's like to be hot? That's what you should do.
1:27:14🔗
Drew
What's their first-person perception of what's happening to them. Yes. And we'd be able to sort of see it through the prism of how we experience them.
1:27:23🔗
Adam
Don't write a book on how to be 5'11 and beautiful calf muscles and a tight ass and a chin with a clef in it, because it makes... By the way, you writing that book makes all the fat chicks feel worse about themselves because it implies that they could be doing something.
1:27:38🔗
Drew
On the other hand, it would be interesting to know when they first knew, what it was first like when guys started reacting to them and what happened.
1:27:44🔗
Adam
They would write, but the book would be BS, because it would be the usual, I was a tomboy, I know how to become a model, a friend of mine signed me up for a competition.
1:27:51🔗
Drew
We get one of them to really sit down and really give a pretty rendition. I couldn't get a prom date.
1:27:57🔗
Drew
Somebody would give a real story. And then, what's it like to be a celebrity at 19, but not be a celebrity?
1:28:31🔗
Caller
No, it's not that. It's like the past few weeks, I've been just wondering if it's healthy or not for me.
1:28:36🔗
Drew
Not. Definitely not. When you're 21 and you think of one of your peers at 21 dating a 15 year old, you will wretch.
1:28:44🔗
Drew
Whatever. You will absolutely wretch. It will be shocking to you. You will not... You will be able to creep out every time you think of it.
1:28:57🔗
Drew
I'm just saying the 21 year old guy who would date a 15 year old is a... Something's wrong with him.
1:29:13🔗
Drew
Yeah, I'll put it this way. 21, I was in my second year medical school. First year medical school. I was dating a ninth grader. No. No.
1:29:23🔗
Drew
I was 20 when I graduated from college. 20? I think I was 17, 18, 19. I think I was 20.
1:29:38🔗
Drew
But, Becky, the point is it's just totally out of line. And when you're 21, you'll understand why. At 15, it's... You know, this was...
1:29:45🔗
Caller
I mean, you guys don't know it, which I'm sure every 15-year-old that would be with a 21-year-old would say, but yet again, nobody knows how a relationship is. Like, it's not a normal 15, 21-year-old. I mean, he's not, like, way older and I'm not, like, way younger. It's not...
1:30:05🔗
Adam
This is the other tub of crap everyone is passing around in society. It's like, you don't know unless you've been... You don't... You can't see... Nobody has the right to because you don't... You've never... Until you've walked a mile in her training bra, you know, BS. You're in the ninth grade. He graduated or should have graduated high school three years ago.
1:30:26🔗
Drew
This is what I was... I've been sort of... It's funny, I was yelling at my producers for this Discovery Health Channel show. I said, I don't care what these subjects think about what they're doing. Right. They have not... They have not experts in this. Of course. They can't be objective about it. They're having an experience. I understand, I value their experience, but I don't want their interpretation of it because they're not trained to understand it.
1:30:46🔗
Drew
And so, like a 15-year-old telling us exactly how it really is, that has no validity. It's a zero. It's an empty set.
1:30:52🔗
Adam
No, it's like we're mechanics. She's bringing her car in and she's going to tell us how it is.
1:31:05🔗
Drew
It was a criminal, too, on top of that. There's a reason the laws are in place the way they are.
1:31:38🔗
Adam
He works at a gas station. And by the way, he just sits behind the bulletproof glass and gives people change.
1:31:59🔗
Adam
Hey, check the oil. It's reason enough to move. All right, Becky, well, we're not going to talk you out of this, but what about your parents? Aren't they upset?
1:32:18🔗
Adam
Well, you got a new daddy. He pumps gas and a little ass. All right, so what are you bothering us for?
1:32:27🔗
Caller
Well, as I was saying, if you told me it's not healthy, and that's what my question was.
1:33:06🔗
Adam
There's eye contact and then every once in a while through the loudspeaker, no, it's just pump five.
1:33:18🔗
Adam
Have a horrible day. That's how they end every conversation with having a wretched day. Take a quick break. Be right back after this.
1:34:10🔗
Drew
All right, I command all of you within the sound of my voice. Discovery Health Channel, nine to midnight.
1:34:18🔗
Adam
Yeah, all right. We'll take ourselves a little extendo 22-hour break, and until next time, this is Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew saying, mahalo. Yeah, you, yeah, Mitsu.
1:34:55🔗
Adam
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