1:02🔗
Adam
Hey, everybody! It's Loveline, not just Loveline, the best of Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That's Dr. Drew. Don't bother calling, cause you ain't gonna get us. So enjoy a little of the best of Loveline. Hey, everybody. It's Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-ELE-VE-191. I got this thing. I think it's a splinter or something. It keeps getting growing and stuff. I thought it was just a cut, but there's something in there. It's trying to push out my finger in a splinter. It's a little pussying. Oh, please, it's fine. But I mean, it's growing. It's got a little energy to it. There's stuff that's dead, and then there's stuff that's alive. That's alive. There's like old zits and new zits.
1:56🔗
Drew
And there may be something in there. There may be something in there. It doesn't look like it, though.
2:03🔗
Hot water, hot soaks?
2:34🔗
Adam
Yeah. All these guys had a young, gay sidekick to make them look a little better. You know what I mean?
2:40🔗
Adam
Right. Even there was like Wonder Boy 2 or something. Superman had a sidekick to it at some point.
2:55🔗
Hi. Thanks for taking my call, guys. Hardly waited on hold at all. Anyways, I am in Vegas right now and just stopped off of a drive across the country and I had sex with an escort and it was my first time ever having sex.
3:12🔗
Period, yes.
3:31🔗
Caller
Yeah, I guess it was I wasn't sure what the physical sensation would be and it was not quite what I expected.
3:43🔗
Adam
Yes. Yeah. You got to wear a condom. Good. What about the woman? Were you attracted to her?
3:53🔗
She was good-looking.
4:11🔗
Adam
All right. There wasn't any, once in a while, especially when you've had a lot of love to give for many years.
4:41🔗
Adam
Yeah. I could probably, they could probably ply me with a little Jaegermeister that might come off with the oral.
4:49🔗
Caller
Yeah. Well, you know, I've been seeing a therapist back in Charlotte, where I'm moving from for the last four or five months. And I guess one of the main topics and one of the reasons I went to therapy was the fact that I've had very little success in the area of female relationships.
5:12🔗
Caller
And, you know, I think on the long drive out towards California, I kind of, you know, had a lot of time to myself and time to think. And I decided I kind of just wanted to get this, I guess, monkey off my back of still having my virginity at this age.
5:35🔗
Caller
All right. You know, I wish I could answer that question. It's, I mean, I think I'm a pretty confident guy in every area except for with females. Definitely confident work and confident in my academic life.
5:52🔗
Adam
Let me explain, hold on a second, let me explain something about how women work. Once you start to spiral a little bit, you get punished for it sexually. I mean, you don't get stuff. The guys who, you know, you could have been walking down the street and fall into a giant vagina when you were 15 and a half and you would have been paid with more sex by those women in your school and around you. When you got that sort of stink of the guy who can't score, it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy and it becomes like an unspoken collaboration between all women of world like hey we we gotta now keep this guy virgin till he's 70.
6:40🔗
Adam
It is weird because as a guy you find a woman like you know you find the you know male version a female version of Joe.
6:49🔗
Adam
They do that you know you know with guys you'll hear that you go well you know I've been told I'm attractive and I'm a good student and I make a decent living and I'm athletic and I just haven't been able to put anything together. That that does not exist in the female world. There's no attractive athletic but well to do woman who can't get laid.
7:08🔗
Drew
What that must mean though see for the woman the reason that there's no such version of that is that she doesn't have to put forth any drive right. She has to just not say no.
7:18🔗
Drew
And not just not not fend them off right. And it's game on. But for a guy they they've got to instituted a behavior right.
7:31🔗
Adam
It's a couple of things. A. Their confidence is not great. So it makes it difficult to execute that B. The women have that unspoken thing where they have that. He has the stink.
7:43🔗
Drew
No I understand that's all there. So and he may and he may behave in a way that sort of makes that even more apparent.
7:49🔗
Adam
Because but the stink of a hooker is more attractive to other women than the stink of a loser. Isn't that great? Joe.
8:00🔗
What do we want women for?
8:01🔗
Adam
That's a real, that should be the topic for tonight. We should focus on cars and sports and call it a life. Joe you could be our accountant or something. All right so look so now you went and got it over with.
8:15🔗
Adam
Fine it was enjoyable but not the experience it had been built up to be and it's never going to live up to that.
8:22🔗
Adam
Because you've been thinking about this since you know you were fifteen. So fine you got it over with.
8:28🔗
Adam
Now you feel like you have a little more momentum because you have the sort of stink of the virgin off you. You've lifted the curse and you can go out and be with a woman. But don't tell her you're with a prostitute ever. None of them. Do you understand?
8:45🔗
Adam
Thank you. It's unnecessary. It's absolutely unnecessary. People think they need to come clean with that kind of stuff. No, no. You freak a chick out.
9:23🔗
Okay.
9:29🔗
All right.
9:34🔗
Yeah.
9:40🔗
Caller
All right. To sum it all up, I got kicked out of my Catholic all-girl school this year. I'm from senior year.
9:47🔗
Yeah.
9:48🔗
Caller
Stuck in a mental hospital for a week. And let's see, I got pissed off with everything and I flew to Massachusetts. It took me three months. Got introduced to the wonderful world of drugs.
10:30🔗
Caller
Yeah, they do. I made up this whole lie to them and my friend's mom went along with it that I was going to put her and her parents.
10:45🔗
Caller
And now I'm back and I am on my hunt for coke here. I got introduced to Crystal Meth and I-
10:52🔗
Adam
Crystal Meth? What is that? I don't believe I know what that is. What is Crystal Meth? Yeah. Speed.
11:11🔗
Adam
Speed is the nastiest of all drugs, I think. It really- you see these emaciated people, they're chain smoking, they're picking at themselves.
11:28🔗
Drew
Eventually, you will become paranoid, and you will begin believing that friends, family, coworkers, neighbors are plotting against you or going to have you arrested, or going to have you killed or something, and you will potentially become violent in response to all that. That's number one. Number two, you will have- you are in the process of developing a severe addiction which is a potentially fatal and a progressive illness.
11:54🔗
Drew
It's not as rapidly addictive, but it's more subtly and perniciously addictive. In other words, cocaine fast addictive. Speed, once you get going with it, it's very hard to stop. Very hard. Yeah. So, and finally, and the more serious issue with speed is that it damages, it actually carves out. I know I'm trying to think of a dramatic way to say this. If I were to do cat scans or pet scans on your brain, I would see areas of holes in your brain where the mood centers were, where the memory centers are. So, the sign that you're going to have chronic...
12:33🔗
Caller
I don't know what to do because I got put into a mental hospital for a severe depression, suicide attempt after I got kicked out of school. No, that was actually during school. But now, as far as it sounds, I am such a better person on meth. Like in every way possible. I know it's really sad, but it's really true. Like I can function so much better on it.
12:53🔗
Drew
It's your perception. And in fact, the reason people do drugs in the first place, in all cases, is that they work. They make you feel better and they make you function better. And then they don't. And when they don't, you can't stop. That's what addiction is.
13:12🔗
Drew
People don't do drugs because they don't work. They do them because they make them feel better, make them function better, make everything better for a short while. And then the house of cards collapses.
13:32🔗
Very positive.
13:34🔗
Adam
Oh, look, you got to get some help. What are you doing? Are you living at home? Did you move home?
13:44🔗
Caller
No, not at all. They thought I was before when I wasn't because according to them, if you're suicidal, you're crazy or on drugs.
13:58🔗
Adam
Get yourself some help, please. Here's the thing, everybody. And by the way, I get one of these kids. I'm freezing them and I'm your kids. Yeah. I'm dipping them in liquid nitrogen and that's it. I can't be brought up. Eh, maybe manslaughter. I believe if I moved to Nevada, I'm trying to event I will not be convicted. Maybe I maybe I get like involuntary manslaughter. I do 18 months. Meanwhile, the kid for freezing a kid isn't well, the kid will be in a state of suspended animation, but not dead, not dead. The heart may stop beating, but the soul does not die.
14:40🔗
Adam
By the way, the kid's 16, 17. Good as new. We bring the kid back when, you know, we have some drugs to straighten them out. That's going to be my plan because, oh, if I get one of these daughters, it's just, I hate you and I got to do. It starts to look like Avril Lavigne and doing speedballs. I'm going to have to kill myself, Drew. I don't know what to do.
15:19🔗
Adam
Scare the bejesus out of her. Maybe give her like a pistol whip, something. I don't know what the hell to do.
15:41🔗
Adam
No, my kids are going to know. They'll be scared. Healthy, a healthy fear, a healthy fear. Nothing wrong with a little respect for the elders, Drew. All right. She's got to get in some rehab or something. Yeah.
15:55🔗
Oh, all right.
15:57🔗
Adam
And here's what we're saying. This is the essence of the show. Besides me complaining about traffic laws in this city, we talk to people at 16. We talk to people at 23. We talk to people at 35. We see where it's going.
16:12🔗
Adam
You don't have to quit whatever you're doing at 17. You can string it out for a few years. Maybe get raped a time or two because you're hanging around with drug addicts and you're in places you shouldn't be at the wrong time.
16:26🔗
Adam
You get a little bit of brain damage. You got to get on some mood stabilizing stuff when you're a little bit older. You end up getting a few skeletons in your closet. Maybe you gave a homeless guy a hand to get a hit or something. There's a couple of little things. Worst case scenario, you find Jesus Christ. Then your life's really over. But you screw up, you get a couple of wrinkles and maybe a scar, and maybe a little hepatitis and some pink eye. And then five years later, all you do is drink three pots of coffee a day and chain smoke. And if you're lucky, you're still alive.
16:59🔗
Adam
Yeah, and your parents aren't. You've burnt a few good bridges. All right, you could do that. You could spend the next five, six years doing that. Or you could just sort of fix it now.
17:11🔗
Drew
I mean, really, at 17, you're on the launching pad. And that trajectory is not going to be too pretty if you let it spiral.
17:19🔗
Oh, yeah.
17:21🔗
Yeah. Yeah. I got a question was for Dr. Drew.
17:25🔗
Yeah. I got a problem with my penis. It's like there's like brown spots on it. I was wondering if it was like a disease or something, you know, like I should go get it checked out by a clinic or something like that.
17:39🔗
No, not really.
17:42🔗
No, I was just wondering if it was or not, you know, like.
17:47🔗
I don't know.
17:51🔗
No. Actually, no, it's a bit sometimes.
17:56🔗
Adam
You know where that hand's been. Yeah. Hand could have been with many other people. And let me tell you something, when you beat off, Drew, you are with every partner that hand has been with. You know, when you don't wear a gardening glove. Do you understand, Drew?
18:11🔗
Adam
Okay. Put it this way. Hold on a second. Every guy you've ever shaken hands with is putting his hand on your dork when you masturbate.
18:28🔗
Adam
Uh-huh. So I do. I shake with my right, jack with my left. Thank you very much. You see what my logic is. But you righties, and I know Chris, he's an orthodox jacker, right, Chris? Yeah.
19:06🔗
That's right.
19:07🔗
Yeah.
19:12🔗
Was it like maybe like a birthmark or something? Kind of something like that, maybe?
19:15🔗
Drew
Yeah. But Jose, you're not even describing to me what we're talking about. All I know is it's something.
19:21🔗
It's like brown spots like on my penis.
19:24🔗
Drew
Yeah. Well, that doesn't help. If you want somebody to evaluate it, go have it evaluated just to be sure.
19:34🔗
Adam
Let me give you my three stages of MiHo. I've not done this one in a while. Somebody at the office wanted me to do this the other day and it reminded me.
19:43🔗
Okay.
19:45🔗
Adam
This is Chris's mom, engineer Chris's mom calls him MiHo, as you know. This is her and this is the three MiHos.
20:05🔗
Adam
She's just announcing her arrival. She's in a good mood. She's going to make Chris some, what I say, Menudo. Menudo. That's his favorite dish.
20:16🔗
Adam
Don't screw up the story. She calls him MiHo. So she comes. He's got some Mexican in him. It's funnier if it's his mom. So she walks, she walks through the door. And this is the first MiHo.
20:30🔗
Adam
That's him home. She's announcing her arrival. Now, it's a little bit dark. She sees his bicycles in the driveway. The light should have been on by now. He's usually watching TV in the living room.
20:47🔗
Adam
Still, now she's walking through the house. She's going further. She's going down the entry hall. She's still holding the bag of groceries, but it's gotten dark outside. No one's turned the lights on. Now we get to suspicious ones. MiHo? This is what's going on. Is he here? Is there foul play afoot?
21:11🔗
Adam
We see she's still holding the grocery. We see, at camp, our point of view is behind the swinging legs of MiHo's. He's hung himself, but we see her as the legs go by.
21:27🔗
Adam
Auto-erotic asphyxiation. She drops the groceries in slow motion. We see the eggs and the tomatoes, so smash it on. And then this is the third one.
21:36🔗
MiHo!
21:49🔗
Adam
Well, take ourselves a little break. And when we come back, we're going to speak to Tim, who's 17, has a theory about Kurt Cobain's death. Be prepared for disappointment, folks. That's all I can tell you. I will be happy if it's a well-constructed sentence.
22:14🔗
Adam
How many theories have we heard on this show since we've been here? Since I've been here?
22:20🔗
Drew
Oh, yeah. And they've been all just clairvoyant. I had theory, unfortunately, does not even begin to approximate a definition of what these things actually were. All right.
22:40🔗
Drew
This portion of Loveline is sponsored in part by the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration. Safety Belt Enforcement is not about tickets. It's about saving lives. So remember, click it or ticket.
23:05🔗
Adam
Hey, everybody. What is happening? I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. Drew Cruz in the internet, not listening to the spirited conversation engineer Chris and myself are having.
23:17🔗
Drew
Yeah, it was pretty, it was riveting. I was talking about Chris becoming your houseboy, your ward.
23:22🔗
Yeah, I take care of you.
23:27🔗
Adam
And following me around. I'm wearing my house coat and slippers. I've taken to smoking a pipe now. He's following me around and I'm saying things like take a note, take a note. He's got a scratch pad, he's writing stuff down.
23:45🔗
Yeah.
23:52🔗
Yes.
23:58🔗
Okay, it's down.
24:01🔗
Is Adam?
24:03🔗
Okay, I was just calling because every time a girl sounds even remotely stupid or she says the wrong thing, you ask her if she's in junior college. And that's so terrible because I go to junior college and we're not all stupid.
24:22🔗
Adam
Hold on one second. First off, you said every time a girl does this, that's probably more guys than girls. You think so?
24:31🔗
Because I see you guys almost every night. It's like every girl is like, hey, are you in junior college?
24:46🔗
Adam
Hold on a second. I'm putting her on hold because her line is so effed up. But people hear things, they have a certain amount of momentum with it. This is where all the A-hole letter writers of the world come in and this is why they need to be ignored. She hears me making fun of girls almost exclusively for going to junior college when it's 65-35 guys, maybe 60-40, mainly guys, actually, more so. Lion's share of it is guys and I'm not saying that to defend myself. It doesn't really matter. It's just the way it is. The last one happened to be a gal, but it's mostly guys. All right. Boy, you got a junior college phone there, too.
25:36🔗
Caller
It would be so cool if you could give us a little bit of credit every once in a while.
25:39🔗
Drew
Well, now, wait a minute. He does give credit on certain fronts. One is, A, do you go to nursing school?
25:47🔗
Adam
Here's what you're OK. Let me I'll give you my junior college exceptions. OK, here they go. Here they are. Nursing school. Something very specific. You're not there for general education. You're there to get whatever that degree you need to get your nursing certificate. All right. That's your degree. You get an RN degree or you become an RN.
26:14🔗
Adam
So you go in there, get specifically going for something. Yeah. Number two, crazy nationalities moved in this country. You were like a doctor, wherever you were. You came here. You got to get your, you got to, you got to, you got to bone up for the boards. Fine. There's that. There's the, any, almost any nationality I'll take. Yeah. I'll take almost any, anyone that comes to this country has got to, got to get their, their bearings.
26:50🔗
Adam
But you got to come here. Yeah, your parents kill themselves too. If you're third and you go to junior college. Okay. So, crazy nationalities that come here from other countries. Fine. Nursing school students. And then what I like to call, oh, then you got your athletes. This is just your stupid guy who couldn't make the grades, but he's a phenomenal basketball player, a football player is looking to transfer. That's fine. And then what I like to call your hard luck cases. This is the guy whose dad got pancreatic cancer his senior year of high school and had to drop out to basically go home and take care of the guy.
27:26🔗
Adam
He's caught up and pushed back. His dream got delayed because he got no skiing accident, motorcycle accident, something happened, tragedy. He'll be back on track in another 10 months. There's that guy. The rest of you, you're just crappy students. And now you're like taffy, you're stretching this dream out so you can live at home for another five years. And then you got your extreme cases. You got my buddy John who's now 40 and still going over to LA Junior College. You got people like my mom who was going there until she was in her 50s. This becomes a way for society not to bother you. Now, here's the thing. If you're a 40-year-old guy and you've chosen not to work, society comes down on you. Like, hey, what are you doing? Chilling, hanging out. Hey, buddy, what's up? What are you, a loser? Why don't you get your ass together? But you can go to college. I'm going to college. Going to college. Oh, okay, that's great. Yeah, I'm doing some studying. I think so. You're trying to further your education. That's fantastic. It's a way to get society off your back. I'm saying society should, unless, unless you meet the criteria. Wacky nationality, nursing student. Now, if you show me a combination, you show me a Nigerian guy who's a star in the track team and trying to get his nursing certificate and transfer to UCLA on a track scholarship. Now, that kid's cool. And his dad died in the Civil War, Nigerian Civil War, just a few years. He's in.
29:01🔗
Uh huh.
29:08🔗
Caller
So, I've been on birth control for 12 years. And I'm just wondering, this last year I've had more problems with it than anything else. And I'm wondering if it's becoming ineffective or...
29:22🔗
Caller
Well, like I would say the last year, I've had problems like just bleeding like nonstop. I've passed three weeks has been the worst. I have a different partner and I've been tested for everything and I've been on like the same pill, like I said, for 12 years. And I'm just wondering if that's wearing off, if I should try something else.
29:48🔗
Yeah.
29:50🔗
Step in.
29:54🔗
Drew
Okay, so you've got irregular periods. You already have that kind of thing. So you're prone to this. So it's not about the pill, it's about you.
30:01🔗
Caller
Well, then I'm worried because I've been on it and they changed it from ortho-cycline to ortho-tricycline. And then just recently...
30:11🔗
Caller
Well, I mean, it switched probably when I was in college, which is about four or five years ago.
30:15🔗
And so I've been on ortho-tricycline. And it hasn't changed anything yet until now.
30:27🔗
Caller
I just figured they were kind of similar. Well, now my doctor's trying to put me back on ortho-cycline again.
30:32🔗
And I'm wondering, well, why would I mean, I thought that you'll stop bleeding when you'll still stop bleeding.
31:21🔗
Drew
Look, the single, the monophasic pill, the orthocyclin will probably stabilize things. Yes, you need to get on a different dose of estrogen progesterone. You need to try some different things. The bleeding can have different meanings. Hopefully, they're evaluating you for other things like thyroid conditions and whatnot. To be sure, it's not something else going on, but it's usually just a matter of finding a different dose pill. If you were stable before on the single dose, the monophasic, then you go back to that. That's it, period. Intricycle bleeding, mid-cycle bleeding is part of being on the pill.
31:54🔗
Adam
Hey, can we call it something other than bleeding? You know, we got to figure a period up and bleed. Let's get that. Like, for instance, I like spotting.
32:07🔗
Adam
Mid-cycle spotting, I'm cool with that. I'm trying to think of some sort of euphemistic yet appropriate term for bleeding. It does, it always, it gives me a little...
32:21🔗
Adam
I get kittens in my stomach when I hear about the bleeding. I just, I'm feeling like inflow is tough, too. Everything, everything's just, all the euphemistic stuff always bothers me.
32:46🔗
Yeah.
32:51🔗
Caller
Well, me and my girl, we've been together for about six years, and for the past like five years, we've been trying to have a kid without any success.
33:26🔗
Drew
Okay, so she's having fertility problems as women frequently do when they get into their 30s.
33:34🔗
Drew
Right, and now she's getting older, and now she's starting to have fertility problems as women frequently do as they get into their 30s.
34:20🔗
Caller
That's what I'm thinking because when I was younger, I had a real bad infection on my foot and I was given anabolic steroids to rebuild the tissue that I had lost.
34:31🔗
Adam
No. That's probably not it. But anyway, you guys have been going... How old are her kids, by the way?
34:48🔗
Adam
Well, I think and I can kind of understand this, even though I, as a radio show host, I would like to get up on my high horse here, but he doesn't feel like those are quite his kids.
35:04🔗
Adam
Well, I mean, Neil, that is a good question, which is three kids, especially eight, five, and six, that seems like a handful.
35:39🔗
Caller
Uh, she just wasn't in a stable home at the time, and she wasn't making enough money to support the kids.
35:56🔗
Drew
Hey, Neil, what are you talking about? The husband would be supporting the kids. They stay with the mom. Why did she lose custody? There must have been some very, very egregious problem that she had.
36:19🔗
Adam
I mean, there is occasion where the dad remarries, makes a good living, and says, look, I just want to start the thing. And it's sort of mom's like, all right, you got a better situation.
37:07🔗
Yeah.
37:08🔗
Adam
One other thing that's bizarre. I'll tell you, I can give myself credit here. First off, it was a race to see who could produce a sample, the fastest, me or Jimmy. Yeah. I won.
37:23🔗
Adam
I beat Jimmy. Now, here's the interesting thing. It was a race and I'm a competitive guy.
37:29🔗
Adam
You know, like a good deodorant commercial, I give 110 percent to just about everything I do, even if it's beating off competitively. I beat Jimmy, pardon the pun, in the race. But here's the deal. I came bursting out of the room. I had my pants around my ankles. Jimmy had put himself back together and burst out of the room about five seconds later. So if you sort of factor in the time it took him to pull his pants up and re-buckle his belt, probably came within about a second, second and a half, so to speak, of each other. And that time, two minutes, 18 seconds.
38:17🔗
Adam
That's miked up with a female director standing out in the hall with a camera crew. Talk about concentration.
38:28🔗
Adam
I'm a pro. All right, let's take ourselves a little break. We'll be right back after this.
38:43🔗
Drew
This portion of Loveline is sponsored in part by the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration. Safety Belt Enforcement is not about tickets, it's about saving lives. So remember, click it or ticket.
39:05🔗
Adam
Hey everybody, it's the Loveline. I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. I'm tired from talking during the break. Let's take this segment off, Drew.
39:20🔗
Drew
I think I would love to do a show, just Loveline Breaks. Some of the best stuff goes on there.
39:38🔗
Adam
And here's the thing, everyone says, oh, well, I'm used to using it. Like our listeners would work it in, if they're, you know, they could be speaking to the queen and they would use the F word because like, oh, hey, hey, pardon me, you're a effing pontiff, but that's the way I speak. I couldn't help. Yeah, you can help. You just, you have to listen.
40:02🔗
Hello?
40:16🔗
Caller
Well, I've never been in a real relationship before. I've only ever had casual sex and like just random like hookups and it's getting like really old.
40:32🔗
Drew
Why do you think that's the case? Why haven't you been able to have a relationship? If you've wanted one, why can't you have one?
40:52🔗
Caller
Like kind of like, I'm kind of like sequester myself off from like a relationship. I think maybe because I'm afraid of getting hurt.
41:13🔗
Caller
Yeah. Yeah. I love my dad. I mean, he's Irish and he's really stubborn, but he's like a good dad.
41:25🔗
No.
41:26🔗
Adam
No. Okay. All right. So I don't know. What do you mean you love him very much, but he's Irish and he's stubborn. What does that mean?
41:49🔗
Adam
Junior college, what? Oh, Hispanic studies. That's very interesting. Very interesting. Very interesting. Can I have my BJ now? We got to talk. Okay, we'll keep talking. Oh, your cat, your cat talks to you? Or he thinks he's a dog? Oh, he thinks he's a person. Interesting. He thinks he's a... How do you know he's... Okay, because he does. He knows what you're thinking. Fantastic. Okay, can I have my BJ now? There's more. There's more. You want to talk about cheerleading camp from nine years ago. That's great. Oh, Tammy was a bitch, was she? Jealous. I understand.
42:28🔗
Drew
Well, not as a bad person, but was he abusive or rageful or something? What do you mean he's stubborn? What does that mean? You were different. What would happen?
42:38🔗
I don't know.
42:41🔗
Oh, never.
42:45🔗
Yeah.
42:48🔗
A couple of times.
42:55🔗
Adam
Maybe Carolla is too, but look, you guys had a tumultuous relationship, you and your father.
43:05🔗
Adam
Okay, you get along. All right. I'm putting her on hold because I'm tired of her disagreeing. She had a charged relationship with her father.
43:28🔗
Adam
That's true. I can always tell when I want to smack somebody. Someone was smacking them before me.
43:40🔗
Adam
All right. So Carly is in a lot of denial. She's sort of angry about it. And I think she's angry that anyone who goes scratching around or poking around.
43:48🔗
Drew
Right. Men make her look at these things. He's probably a great guy. Yes, you love your dad. I get that. But there has been some very serious dysfunction in your relationship with him. As such, it's been painful and the possibility of future intimacy or any intimacy means pain. So you avoid it. All right. Natural enough. Good. If you want to have that in your life, you're going to have to do a little work.
44:24🔗
Caller
Well, my psychiatrist is prescribing medication to my father. It's called Ambien. He takes way too much of it.
44:57🔗
Caller
Okay. And well, I've asked her to stop and she refuses. And I just want to know, I mean, do you think that she has an obligation to?
45:14🔗
Drew
All right. Well, this psychiatrist does not understand how to manage an alcoholic addict. Now, there may be other priorities in his psychiatric care that she's trying to attend to first. There are situations where it can be important, life-saving, stabilizing to give people medications that might adversely impact their addictive disease if their psychiatric illness is such that they're in harm's way. Now, Ambien is not a medicine that typically sort of you would use for important reasons. And the fact that he's getting addicted to it, which is very common, it doesn't really matter. He's just addicted. You guys are probably gonna have to do an intervention and get him into some sort of inpatient treatment where he can be detoxified, because Ambien withdrawal is rather awful.
45:55🔗
Adam
Well, love of it. I don't understand something. She gives him enough of this stuff to give him three or four pills a day? Doesn't she aware of that?
46:10🔗
Drew
You know what you got to do, Jesse? Contact the pharmacy where he's getting these things.
46:14🔗
Drew
Because they tend to have a little more ability to track these things and they let them, and then they know something like this is going on and they continue to fill it, they have a problem. So that might help out of it. But really get him into treatment. The bottom line is he needs to be in addiction treatment and that's that.
46:31🔗
Drew
I love that stuff. That's where you started talking about my scoring on your behalf. It was in relation to that drug.
46:44🔗
Adam
I know Dr. Marcel. He's like Elvis' doctor. Whatever it takes. You know what I'm saying? Whatever.
46:55🔗
Adam
Now you know what? I love that Ambien and if you give me that Ambien, I'll eat it. But here's the thing, and then I'm out of it and then I'm out of it.
47:04🔗
Adam
A couple of hours. Then I get to shakes. I'll get some more. Now I get out of it and don't think about it. Months.
47:10🔗
Drew
Oh, I see. But I mean, does it knock you out for a day or two after? I mean, does it affect your memory or any word finding?
47:18🔗
Adam
I'm not as sharp as I normally would be, but I'm so much sharper than everyone else all the time that it really brings me down to normal.
47:39🔗
Adam
I got to tell you, Drew, just to be honest, is a guy who's never really felt like he's got a full night's sleep in his life and who likes to have a couple of pops where he goes to bed at night and maybe a sleeping pill or something like that. I walk around all day, every day, with a sort of quasi soupy head. You know what I mean? Just I can feel my head, wear my forehead.
48:05🔗
Adam
Not thinking too clearly, not too sharp, but still can still can rally. You know what I mean?
48:12🔗
Adam
Yeah, I'm like a good athlete who doesn't train too hard, and still can get by. And I mean, I'm just interested in getting by. I don't want to be that guy.
48:47🔗
We'll be right back.
49:10🔗
Adam
Hey, everybody, the love line of Adam, that's Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Still plenty of show to go. We got a Germany or Florida coming up. We have Aces, Ranchero, Mexican, According, Countdown coming up.
49:30🔗
Adam
Strong stuff. Makes you want to work. You want to hear the explanation for Hobo Power. We haven't discussed this in quite some time, which is, many years ago, we decided that there should be a unit of measurement for stink. Because there is a unit for measurement for almost everything. Or I should just say everything. They have different measurements for when you're in the ocean and when you're on land and when you're in the sky.
50:01🔗
Adam
There's PSI. There's every, there's British thermal units, BTUs for heat. There's every kind of measurement. But there's no measurement for funk. There's no measurement for stink. And people go, oh man, this guy farted, it was rank. But what does that mean?
50:23🔗
Adam
That way you know that when you open the old Chinese food that got left out in the fridge or that fish that got left in a cooler for a whole summer that you didn't know and you opened it up and it was all full of maggots. You know that it wasn't just funky. There's a number you can put to it. The same way you know that if a guy got electrocuted, there's a difference between 110 volts and 220 volts. You hear 110, you go, oh, that's smart. You hear 220, you go, oh my God. That's how we gotta do it with hobo power. Hobo power is a measurement, a unit of stink.
51:07🔗
Adam
All right, let's see if we can break this down. What is just a garden variety fart that's got a little stink to it, but not too bad?
51:50🔗
Adam
All right. So you would say, so what would you've done a gynecological exams on a homeless women in their 50s?
52:22🔗
Adam
Here's what I'm saying. If you were sitting in a restaurant and somebody took the vagina of the homeless woman who hadn't showered many years that you examined.
52:44🔗
Adam
The vagina with the tampon. While you're at the restaurant, you might say, please listen, you might say, someone's getting an anchovy pizza or something like that.
52:55🔗
Drew
By the same token, it might make you retch more easily because you're sort of around food and eating and the smells kind of make you react more violently.
53:10🔗
Adam
No, just smells like, you know, certain things like at first whiff will smell like something.
53:14🔗
Drew
If you remember that pizza spill that you were cooking into the microwave last week, right, that could have easily been mistaken for ass. So it goes the other way, too.
53:38🔗
Adam
You get to, well, I wouldn't put it that high. Okay. In the 30s. At 50, you're vomiting.
53:51🔗
Adam
All right. And at 110, engineer Chris had graduates from junior college. So it's actually a little bit further than world of blood.
54:03🔗
Adam
Here we go. Now it's all gone. It's all gone according to plan. If your plan was never to graduate.
54:08🔗
Drew
And so, you know, it's not a descriptive term. So the 40 stock worth, the 40 stock of asparagus worth of acidic urine was a good 30 hobo, I'd say. But it was not the same kind of food of the fish or the butt. Yeah.
54:26🔗
Adam
Here's the thing too. You guys can't abuse the hobo power because if you just start labeling every fart a 50, then it loses all reason.
54:48🔗
Hey, how's it going, guys?
54:53🔗
Okay. Here's the story. A man was killing an unwanted litter of puppies with a handgun. When he placed the handgun down on the bench, The puppy shot him.
55:05🔗
The puppy stepped on it and shot him in the wrist.
55:08🔗
Adam
This was Germany, wasn't it? I think it was Germany. It was or maybe it wasn't. I think it was.
55:29🔗
Adam
I did the show. I can't remember what it was. You know why? Because I think the audience picked it.
55:34🔗
Drew
And but we'd done it on the show the night before this show. And I might, my gestalt, my sense is Germany. That's why I'm vague.
55:41🔗
Adam
The handgun part feels Florida. The killing puppies part feels Germany. I think we're going Germany.
55:48🔗
Adam struck down the perfect record. It's Florida.
55:52🔗
Adam
Oh, all all made even more insulting by the fact that I did this on national television three or four weeks ago.
56:03🔗
Adam
That's a good point. Although it I know it seems prevalent. And I only heard it because some P.A.s pulled it up over it. I keep calling it Kilbourne, the late late show.
56:13🔗
It was all over the news here, too.
56:32🔗
Caller
I did indeed. I was actually disappointed that y'all didn't just play. You played it the last few nights and given us so many compliments. I've been feeling a warm.
56:45🔗
Caller
I think when you said deceptively good, that was my favorite description of what it was.
56:50🔗
Adam
Well, here's why I call your Germany or Florida theme deceptively good. Because it's not good, but yet you like it. So it's hard to argue with that. And when it comes to a song, you see, OK, here's what I'm saying.
57:06🔗
Adam
I got to talk to you, Drew. You know, you can't say that about aircraft. You know what I mean? Like, oh, I really enjoy this aircraft, although it's not a good aircraft. That doesn't make sense. You can do it with stuff like you can do it. Well, you know, you can do it. You can do it with like hostess cupcakes and Twinkies and McDonald's.
57:31🔗
Adam
Yeah, this is not a good song and not a good theme song, but it gets under your skin and there's something catchy about it, which arguably is better than it being good. Good doesn't necessarily catch on.
57:47🔗
Caller
Things are sick and twisted from too much sun and Nazis, sex, meth, and death fetishes, both of them have got these, guaranteed not to bore you, Germany or Florida.
57:58🔗
Drew
Here's what I like about Theo's rendition. By the time he gets to that last refrain, he's cracking his own ass up.
58:04🔗
Adam
And he jumps right into it. There's none of that, well, it's pretty late over here in Virginia. I wasn't prepared. I didn't call. Now, pow.
58:20🔗
Caller
Well, I'm an amateur stand up and I do writing. And now, since I've talked to you all last, I actually got a job in morning radio. I'm kind of a danger boy type guy.
58:53🔗
Can I give him some music for backup?
59:18🔗
Adam
A new Germany or Florida theme. Well, I was humming the Pete Ellis Dodge theme. It doesn't mean I like it.
59:35🔗
Caller
Fourteen nine immediately to what you what you what you what you what you're going to do. Mexican musicians breaking it down. Ace's Accordion Countdown.
59:51🔗
Adam
All right, all right. You know, I think the bar was set so high with the Germany or Florida that it was tough to get.
1:00:21🔗
Caller
14-9, immediately, too. Whatcha, whatcha, whatcha, whatcha, whatcha gonna do? Mexican musicians breaking it down on each of the accordion. Countdown.
1:00:32🔗
Adam
All right, Theo, I'll tell you what, that's gonna work as a placeholder until we find a decent song. No, that's awesome, buddy. I wish we had something. I wish we had...
1:00:42🔗
Adam
I wish we had windbreakers or just paperweights or anything on this program that we could actually send out after 20 years.
1:00:49🔗
Caller
Here's what you can do. If you end up making the cartoon with the Chief Thunder Bear, then I can write the theme song for that.
1:00:55🔗
Adam
Alright, buddy. Alright, and whenever you're gonna be out in LA next year, you come by and see us.
1:01:19🔗
Adam
My slippers. And argue with Drew going down the hall, complaining about something that probably we're just talking about on the air. Alright, where are we, Drew?
1:01:37🔗
Caller
Oh, I found this great band that you guys might like and use for your Ace of the Chordian Countdowns.
1:01:43🔗
Caller
Yeah, they're called El Gran Silencio, and they're not really completely ranchero music, but they add elements of like sky and rock and-
1:02:06🔗
Caller
And they have a Chordian, they have the trumpets and everything, but they add like everything to it.
1:02:12🔗
Adam
Thank you, Nancy. That's not gonna work, though. We need super traditional ranchero music.
1:02:28🔗
Adam
Well, Anderson gets it off a different source, and sometimes it's not always ready, and it sounds crappier. That sounds better.
1:02:37🔗
Adam
You're clinging to that. It's the same crappy music whether Anderson plays it or Chris plays it.
1:02:50🔗
Adam
I'm gonna argue with it when Chris fuses crap up. We should actually have dueling ranchero music. You really want to kill yourself. Let's try playing them. Can we play them simultaneously? That would be a fate worse than death.
1:03:13🔗
Adam
Yeah. Let me explain something. You know when bands that are cover bands say, oh no, we're not a cover band, we're a tribute band. That's what this is. This is not to make fun. Yeah, this is not to make fun. We're not trying to make fun of ranchero music. This is tribute to ranchero music.
1:03:38🔗
Adam
This is a whole brand of music. How would you like it if a guy with a giant guitar and a huge hat and a crazy vest that was too tight for him made fun of your music, your precious-
1:04:00🔗
Adam
I will say that Ranchero music is just as valid as classical jazz or any other form, and it's probably arguably influenced more performers.
1:04:23🔗
Adam
Yeah. All right, play a little there, Anderson. And we'll get Chris playing. We'll see how it sounds together because it may cancel it out. Yeah. Now, by the way, this is what it sounds like when I get between the stucco guys who are working on one side of the house and the guys who are doing the cinder block wall on the other side of the house. So it's going to get that sweet spot right in the border where your right ear is hearing the Ranchero music out of the cinder block guys. Your left ear is hearing after the stucco guy.
1:05:17🔗
OK, I have a question for you. I have been married for going on seven years now to a man, and he's like the first real male relationship I've ever had.
1:05:35🔗
Let's see. My very first relationship, if you want to call it a relationship, I was seven years old and it was with a girl for eight years.
1:05:43🔗
Drew
Well, that's not a real list. You mean somebody was sexually abusing you when you were seven?
1:05:47🔗
No, I was with the girl. She was eight. I was seven. We were together having foreplay and oral sex together.
1:05:55🔗
Drew
Yeah, Claire, that's a child sexually abusing you. Child on child sexual abuse is rather common. And when an adult gets their hands on a child...
1:06:04🔗
Drew
Yeah, when an adult gets their hands on a child, the child will then do those things to other children. That is a form of sexual abuse that you were being sort of subjected to.
1:06:15🔗
Drew
I know, but that's what happens, Claire. Okay, but I was sexually abused for many, many years. You were sexually abused by a peer for many, many years as a child.
1:06:30🔗
And then she was killed by a drunk driver, or else we would probably still be together to this day.
1:06:35🔗
Adam
Um, now did the drunk driver just hit him in the car, or did they actually just get out of the car and shoot him?
1:06:43🔗
No, he was driving a semi-truck, and he was doing 85 miles an hour down a 30 mile per hour road. He ran a red light and he bombed her truck, and it killed her instantly. It actually decapitated her, because of how hard he hit her.
1:06:58🔗
Adam
Hold on one second. Oh, by the way, you don't have to do the decapitation math. For instance, what, was her head not attached very well?
1:07:24🔗
Adam
He ran a red light, he t-boned her and decapitated her. I'm just saying, wouldn't it be ironic if you were killed by a drunk driver who wasn't actually in their car? They broke your house drunk and they shot you.
1:07:40🔗
Drew
Killed by a drunk driver, but listen to the deal. 85 mile a t-bone vaporizes your car.
1:07:46🔗
Adam
That's right. All right, that's what happened. She was killed. All right, and Claire sounds kind of butch, kind of angry, and it doesn't sound like a kind of gal who'd want to be with a guy. But she married a guy. Is she married to the guy or is she just with him? Are you married to this guy?
1:08:05🔗
Yes, I am married to this guy. He was my best friend before we got married.
1:08:09🔗
Adam
Okay, why did you make the move over to Lads if you'd been with the Lasses all these years?
1:08:16🔗
I really don't know. I just completely fell head over heels for him. Really? We went on one date. We both completely broke our rules on that one date. I moved in with him three days later. We have been together ever since.
1:08:42🔗
Adam
He actually wore it on a laminated wristband, like quarterbacks wear in the NFL, it would check it. That's, surfer, hold on, hold on.
1:08:51🔗
Adam
Oh, really? It would check off at the line. So Claire, and now you're thinking about women again.
1:08:59🔗
Well, I've always been thinking about women, and he knows that.
1:09:05🔗
We like, we watched the movies together, and we read the magazines together, and stuff like that. And he uses that with me during our sex.
1:09:16🔗
In order for me to have an orgasm, I have to think about women.
1:09:22🔗
There is no-
1:09:23🔗
Adam
All right, all right. Make sure you make that abundantly clear to him next time you guys are in the bedroom.
1:09:39🔗
Yes.
1:09:45🔗
Oh my God. My dad left me when I was a year old. Because he was an alcoholic and a drug addict.
1:09:53🔗
My mom left me when I was a year and a half because she was a serious drug addict.
1:10:02🔗
I was a drug addict, abandoned, sexually abused by my mom's boyfriend.
1:10:09🔗
Yeah.
1:10:10🔗
Yeah, I just had a flight. If it happens, it would probably happen to me.
1:10:14🔗
Adam
All right. Now, here's the whole thing, Claire. Although we could tell most of these things happen to you by the sound of your voice, you sound like you're relatively stable.
1:10:27🔗
Drew
It's interesting, almost like that relationship with the girl who kept her patched together for a while. Yeah. Having a relationship, even though I understand you conceived of it as something different than it was, it probably kept you pieced together a little bit.
1:10:40🔗
Caller
I went through like four years of anger management, and I've seen my 22 therapists. My doctor now even is trying to get me mentally stable because I'm bipolar.
1:10:57🔗
Adam
Are you ready? Please understand I'm a genius. You are always going to have thoughts about going a different direction. You have a fantasy that if you're with a woman, somehow things would straighten itself out, you would feel better. You will never feel better. Because of your past, they'll always be a part of you that's a little uncomfortable in the current relationship you're in.
1:11:30🔗
Adam
Now stop reading the chick magazines. This whole, you know, your relationship satisfies your every need. It doesn't work that way. You end up getting in a relationship that works, but there's always shortcoming in this department or that department. That's fine. You work at it. Good. You got a guy. Stay with him.
1:11:52🔗
Adam
Have your fantasies. Don't act them out. Focus on the kids. No more kids. Stay in therapy. Fine. Your impulse is going to be to make trouble.
1:12:05🔗
Drew
Get the med stabilized. She pushes the bipolar. You can feel it. Push it through there, can't you?
1:12:22🔗
Drew
Don't you get a sense of that relationship with the little girl she had kept her connected as a human being? You know, kept her sort of.
1:12:37🔗
Adam
All right. We're going to take a quick break. We'll be right back after this. It's Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. Drew just threatened me with a scalpel, everybody. So just go get a scalpel. Come in here and I'll do it. You heard him, Chris, right? Is that what he said?
1:13:24🔗
Adam
Where don't you have glands? I'm moving there. I'm moving to Glanville, anti-Glanville. All right. So what it starts is like, here's why I'm suspicious with the ingrown hair. It's right at the point where they-
1:13:39🔗
Drew
Give me a needle. Let's do it now. Listen, Chris, give me a needle. Oh, he's upset. What do you mean?
1:13:51🔗
Adam
Chris can't find his belly button. You think he's going to find a needle? And find a needle.
1:14:05🔗
Adam
Here's the thing. It's right at the line where when the barber buzzes your neck and gives it the buzz, you know, cleans up the neck, so to speak. Drew, do you even get that by the way? Are you so hairless that they're going to clean up your neck?
1:14:22🔗
Adam
Sweet. Yeah. They clean up your neck. They'll buzz it around the back. And when the hair comes back sometimes it'll get a little little stubbly like where I got I got a little little bump on my belly where where I had my hernia surgery and they shaved my belly off. It comes back like a bikini line or something. Anyway, point is, is I got some kind of zinger back there. It's I'm going on week three. It's driving me insane. I can't see it. I can't get to it. Now, normally I'm a surgeon. I drop that pin, I lance something, I drop it right in. I drain that thing right out. But my stuff is tough. I mean, my stuff don't come easy. You got to work it. You got to work it hard and you can't just press on it. You got to, you got to cut it. So if we get a pin, Drew, you drop it in the back of my neck. We'll get this thing out. But you know what? I wouldn't be as confident as you are right now. You're very confident, Drew. Remember when you tried to drain my palm?
1:15:34🔗
Adam
I know what, oh, tack, tack. All right, let me see. No, that's good. No, I was about to predict we're going to get something that's not quite what we need, but close enough, which that's the disaster. That's like jumping out of a plane with, it's not quite a parachute, but yeah, I'm getting some paper towels and all right, there you go. Here's a tack and we need some light too. Turn the light up, Drew. And please get something out of there. It's been bothering me now for three weeks. I'm going to take some calls. Wow, Ann's got some paper towels, got a little wet nap, a little alcohol on there. Now the white thing you see on there, Drew, is just dried skin. That's what I'm saying. Drew's now putting it into the hole in the back of my neck. All right. That's going on there, Drew.
1:16:30🔗
Adam
You want the paper towels? All right, Drew is working on the car bunk on the back of my neck. They see, hold on a second, Drew, now hold on. Now see what was on there was a little piece of dried skin that you thought was like a white cap, right? You think you're in?
1:16:53🔗
Adam
Get it, baby. Go, you bastard. I swear to Christ, I'm gonna get a divorce. We're getting married, Drew. I told my wife, I said, would you go at this thing? You know what I yelled at her? I said, what kind of chick doesn't want to go at a man's zit on his back? You know? And? No? Hold on, Drew, what are you doing with the pin? I thought it came.
1:17:20🔗
Adam
You're drilling into my spine. What do you got? Let me see the white. I don't trust you.
1:17:48🔗
Adam
Well, I know blood's coming out. Any time you bore into a man's neck, blood will face like... If you took like a sprinkler keen, stab me in the neck, it would have...
1:18:00🔗
Adam
I'm going to take some calls. Drew is taking a pin, by the way, a thumbtack that producer hand produced. And that's producing, by the way. You get a thumbtack in here. I got an ingrown hair or something in the back of my neck. Drew is going at it. He swears it's going to pop. Ow! I'm telling them it's not. Take some calls.
1:18:22🔗
Adam
Yeah. I might just fall asleep. I don't go to the phone. Drew's drilling a hole in my spine. Maybe you need some Viking. Nell.
1:18:34🔗
Caller
Oh, a while ago, I think it was over a month ago, a girl asked how she could give her boyfriend better head. And you and Dr. Drew told her to take whenever she brushes her teeth to brush further back on her tongue.
1:18:47🔗
Adam
Oh, really? Yeah, that does that. Drew just endorsed that, but maybe Drew didn't say it. I probably said that helps you with the gag reflex a little bit if you can get the good thing. Speaking of head, Drew's giving me neck right now. Yeah?
1:19:08🔗
Caller
Yeah. So I thank you very much for that. But I was actually wondering if it's bad for your gag reflex at all.
1:19:17🔗
Adam
Well, I'm trying to think, and Drew, I know you're absorbed in my neck bunkle right now. But what about the gag reflex? Obviously, it's something that God gave you.
1:19:28🔗
Caller
Well, I mean, like after I started doing it, because it started, I can't think of it, but it's just, it worked within a week, you know? And I could take more of them in then, but I got really wasted after that. And then I had to throw up, and I couldn't throw up as easily as I normally would have.
1:19:46🔗
Adam
Uh-huh, ah! So you started brushing your tongue, you started brushing back of your tongue and getting down in there. It softened up your gag reflex, but then after a hard night of partying, and when you got the spins, you couldn't just put your pinky down your throat and heave because you'd worked on your gag reflex. Well, let me tell you, it's something, uh, let me tell you something. As Drew says, no free lunch in nature. Yes, Drew?
1:20:17🔗
Adam
All right. Well, okay. All right. Good time, sir. Now, what did I, what did I get done? What did I say to you, Drew?
1:20:25🔗
Adam
I told it. Listen, 10 minutes ago, you said if you gave me a pin, it would come out. What did I say?
1:20:34🔗
Adam
What is that on my neck and how come I've been living with it for three weeks? What's going on? If it's a zit, here's what I want to scream at my neck. Show yourself. If you're a zit, come on. Bring it.
1:21:10🔗
Drew
But it may also re-saw bones. They need to be actually cut out with a knife, like I said, knife. It's not one of the things you can be... Listen, we might explore it all around there with that needle.
1:21:21🔗
Adam
See, I'll tell you, you give me some Oxy-10 and a sewing needle. No, no, no, no. I can... There's nothing I can do. A heart transplant with some Oxy-10 and a sewing needle. Do you understand? I can separate conjoined twins.
1:21:40🔗
Adam
Yes. Give me a pin and some Oxy-10. I will fix those girls. They will lead normal lives. Do you understand?
1:21:56🔗
Adam
I watched Dateline tonight along with Drew and I fast forwarded through the twins because here's the whole thing with me. Conjoined twins, you know, stuck together at the hip. Stuck together at the head is tough. I can't watch it. And it's like stuck together at the hip, tough to watch, but can make my way through it. Stuck together at the head, not going to make it.
1:22:23🔗
Drew
They're severely neurologically impaired. I mean, they're going to look forward to a life of maybe ambulating, maybe talking.
1:22:36🔗
Drew
The implication was, in the story, Where are they from? They're on their way to recovery. They're going to be like, they'll be riding their bike.
1:22:41🔗
Adam
Yeah. What are they going to do? They hang out and have babies. Chase chickens around. That's all they do in this country, sure. And they're not doing anything. That's fine. Good times. You need a brain. Just hang out. They're going to have it better than we do. Take naps, they relax. And by the way, on anyone's terror list, hammocks? They're going to go blow up a few cinder block houses with thatch roofs and a hammock or two?
1:23:08🔗
Drew
By the way, to switch topics, that terror thing, I just keep hearing city building, city court building, city court building. That's the one they're going for. I just know it.
1:23:25🔗
Adam
You're talking about the city court building in Manhattan. Anyone who's been to the city court building in Manhattan realizes when you stand out on the sidewalk that what it looks like is a chair with three legs. And it basically looks like if you can pop that third leg, that chair's coming.
1:23:47🔗
Adam
And that is one hell of a chair. And that chair may catch a couple other chairs on the way down.
1:23:56🔗
Adam
And it looks like, I mean, it's really, it's a marvel of engineering when you stand under and you look up 12 stories and you're looking at the bottom of the first floor essentially. And like I said, just one still holding up the whole, you know, south side of the building or whatever it is.
1:24:17🔗
Adam
I it seems like a rider truck with just a little manure in it, double parked at the right spot, would take out that thing and bring it down. On the other hand, as they've learned with the trade centers and their car bombs, these buildings were engineered more so for those sorts of events and less so for stuff like, you know, jet fuel burning, melting I-beams and causing a pancake effect of the floors. They are meant for serious winds, they're made for, you know, hurricane-type forces, made for earthquakes and, you know, natural anomalies and things like that. So structurally, it's like, it's like, like bones, you know, it's like, it's like your bones not breaking but acid, you're not made for acid, right? You know what I'm saying? And then the jet fuel was the acid, right? And nobody made anything for it. They were meant to withstand the force of an airplane, but not the hundreds and thousands of gallons of burning fuel, right, which ended up taking them down. So the bomb, and you realize the first World Trade Center bomb was a fairly significant bomb. I mean, it took out a couple levels of parking.
1:25:35🔗
Adam
It's as much bomb as you could squeeze into a panel truck, basically, barely move the, you know, barely rock the building, to any damage to any of the floors. So I'm not so sure, even though it looks very tempting, I'm not positive if that building would even come down, necessarily, if that-
1:26:06🔗
Adam
We should embrace every culture and every religion. And they're all the same. And there's no judging. Zero judging. Because everyone's right. Can't judge. And listen, unless if everyone's not right, then everyone's wrong. World War II, everyone right. World War I, everyone right. Civil War, North-South, both right. Can't judge. All the same. All right. Always remember that, everyone. Always remember you cannot judge and therefore you should never do anything. Take a quick break. We'll be right back.
1:27:15🔗
Adam
Dr. Drew over there, Adam Corolla over here. Checking in weather. Coming in weather traffic. Coming up. 61 degrees, Agoura Hills, El Hambrous. 61 degrees, Arcadia. Checking in. 61, Baldwin Park. 61, Bellflower. 61. Carson. 61, Cerritos. 61. Cudahy. Checking in. 61 degrees, Downey. 61. Dworkday. 61. Hey, Warm Warm. 61, Hotthorne. Inglewood. Checking in. 61. La Canyada, Flintridge area. Checking in. 61, La Mirada. Drew, what do you think? Breezy. 61. 61 degrees, South Southwest. Four knots. 61 degrees, La Pointe. 61, Lancaster, Lawndale. 61, Lomita. 61, Linwood. 61, Monrovia. 61, Montebello. 61 degrees, Pico Rivera. Checking in. 61 degrees, San Gabriel. 61, Santa Fe Springs. 61 degrees, Sierra Madre. 61, Southgate. 61, Torrance. 61, Florida. 61, Walla. 61, Cedar. 61 degrees, and now it's time to get a little traffic. And I'll tell you what, Drew, did you drive in anymore? It wasn't either. 8.31, 8.30, 1.30, 1.30, 8 o'clock. 20 on the way from the top of the hour. News, weather, and traffic coming up at the top of the hour. Drew, did you come in at 8? A lot of brake lights. A lot of brake lights.
1:28:29🔗
Adam
Couldn't get through the four level. Look out for brake lights. I'll tell you what, watch out as a guy. I'll tell you, once in a while it gets really morbid, but the guy's just power through it. Fuel carrying a truck, 18 Wheeler carrying jet fuel collided with a moped. Had a guy down to the driver. They're cleaning that up. That's on the 101. They bring up things like carnage, you know what I mean? Like picturing body parts spread around.
1:28:55🔗
Adam
Guy on a motorcycle collided with three Humvees. I hope he's going to clean that up. That's on the form. I like when they focus on the traffic portion of the tragedy. Jet fuel all over the four level. The guy at the moped was trapped amongst it and evidently was ignited. So look out for delays if you're coming in. You may want to get off the 405. Takes a pole but along there. That's sort of a guy's on fire in the middle of the freeway. We got that. They got a helicopter landing out of there. Agor checking in 61 degrees. All right, Drew, ready to get back on the phones that day? Weather traffic.
1:29:32🔗
Adam
Another news. I'll tell you what, we got to get to the news. Oh gee, unrest in the Middle East. There's trouble in the Middle East. There's trouble in the Middle East. Unrest in the Middle East. Stay tuned, though, for news traveling and the weather. 831, 31 after 8 o'clock, 29 away from the top of the hour. When we get to the top of the hour, maybe they'll have the old Middle East thing taken care of. May not be trouble in the Middle East. Unrest in the Middle East.
1:29:55🔗
Adam
Look out for brake lights, traffic and lines. Here we go. Ready to hop back on the phones, Drew? Here we go. First quick, quick shout of the weather. Quick look at the weather. There's 61 Downey, 61 Duarte. All right, Santa Monica checking in at 61 degrees. You ready? I'm ready. Ready to hop back on the phones? Here we go. 61 degrees, everybody. Dress appropriately. Here we go. Back to the phones. Go talk to Chris. Look out for brake lights on the 405. Slow going on the way in to work. A lot of people commute out in the Southern California area. Aren't used to seeing the traffic and brake lights. Watch out. Slow and go. I like once in a while when they add a little something. Stay cool out there. Relax. You know, a little piece of their own. Just a little home-spun philosophy for you to take with you in the job. Yeah, that's good. Give them a break. Chris?
1:31:07🔗
Drew
No, I mean, it feels just like you think it would feel when somebody sticks a spear through your penis in your urethra and out the base of your penis.
1:31:21🔗
Like your pansy?
1:31:29🔗
Adam
Hold on, let me say this. I got a question. For the penis, they got to do, you know, they got the big long barbs that go through the urethra and stuff, but if you just get the urethra, I mean, I'm sorry, the foreskin pierced.
1:31:45🔗
Adam
Yeah, pre-puce pierced. Just like you would do the lobe of your ear with the lobe, the earlobe thing, they'll have that gun down at the mall.
1:32:05🔗
Adam
And by the way, I don't know why, but somehow doing the foreskin for the person who's doing it is more grotesque in its own bizarre way that you're actually... Yeah, I don't know why, but you know why? Because the spina...
1:32:26🔗
Adam
This is something you do at sleepaway camp when you're 13 and you're just fagging off with the guy in the bunk above you. This is just bizarre, like sexual ritual... .you know, gay sexuality here.
1:32:43🔗
Adam
You are now. Who did this for you? Was it a guy? It was a girl. She pulled your foreskin out and iced it up?
1:32:53🔗
Caller
Or what did she do? They pulled it out and they iced it up. And she was wearing surgical gloves and everything. And kind of what she did, she pushed in the needle with her thumb while she was holding the other side with her two fingers.
1:33:04🔗
Adam
And just pushed it through her fingers. But I know everyone is a mess at these places, so normal rules don't apply. But if you're this guy's, if you're this chick's husband or boyfriend, and she's just sort of handling dongs all day.
1:33:30🔗
Drew
Well, by the way, Adam, I mean, how dare you? These people are trained, licensed. Of course, and our government would a lot allow people to handle body parts, intimate parts, and push needles and barbs and spears through them, unless they were carefully licensed and carefully monitored. OSHA gets involved in every aspect of every business. Of course, they're involved with this one.
1:33:48🔗
Adam
I don't understand how that works because Drew tries to run himself a little doctoring business, and OSHA and FEMA and everything that ends with an A is up his ass, as far as the government goes.
1:34:05🔗
Adam
You have 70 years of college, and you have to have a $4 billion worth of insurance. How can a place open where you have basically guys that are high on, they're on methadone, they dropped out of junior college, and they've botched a few piercings and tats on themselves. They're going at your labia?
1:34:25🔗
Drew
If you have an untoward experience, some sort of bacteria gets introduced. They're a bacteria in the environment. You can get the flesh eating bacteria going on your penis. You can do it. No problem.
1:34:41🔗
Yes.
1:34:44🔗
Drew
They have reinforced condoms. You usually get them from the piercing shops. Also, I think the magnums are tapered towards the tip, the Trojan Magnum, so you can...
1:34:52🔗
Adam
Bellflower checking in, 61 Carson, 61 Cerrito, 61 Cotahay, 61 La Mirada checking in, 61... I always like the checking in part, checking in.
1:35:11🔗
Adam
Okay, I'll call you back in 20. Well, no, okay, if nothing changes, I won't... All right, okay, we'll talk. Yeah, they're checking in. All right, we'll take a quick break. We'll be right back after this.
1:35:38🔗
LOVE-191.
1:35:55🔗
Adam
Well, there you go. Two fabulous hours of the best of Love Line. So, until next time, this is Adam Carolla for Dr. Drew, saying Mahalo.
1:36:08🔗
Caller
This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or this station. The producer for Loveline is Annie Gold. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.