1:22🔗
That's Dr. Drew.
1:23🔗
Adam
Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1, Dr. Drew, board certified physician and addiction medicine specialist.
1:32🔗
Oh, yeah.
1:35🔗
That's right. Why?
1:37🔗
Because somebody dropped a nickel.
1:45🔗
Adam
I was directing myself toward Chris the whole week because when you're talking, you know, even if someone just put like a Styrofoam Buddha in the corner, eventually you would be turning toward... That would be an interesting study, Drew. Take a microphone, take a chair with a swivel on it and put like a plastic snowman in the corner and have a conversation through it, through a microphone. Eventually the person would start turning toward the Styrofoam being...
2:15🔗
Right.
2:19🔗
You got sick of my face.
2:24🔗
That's all.
2:25🔗
Adam
All right. Dr. Drew back in town. The guest tonight, The Love, The Two Hosts. Fine. Between each other. And it is now officially hot. Although it's not really hot, I realized I haven't acclimated yet. And so my misery index is up through the roof. Yes?
2:43🔗
Yes.
2:44🔗
Yes.
2:48🔗
Drew
You know what? It's because we had such a long stretch of rain and cold that it's like, okay, a day of hot. I can deal with this.
2:58🔗
Adam
Yeah. I'm already doing it. All right. I'm already jumping in the pool. Now, the end of my showering, my showering.
3:06🔗
Adam
Gone. Completely gone. Because to me, you do not get cleaner than being submerged in seven million gallons of chlorinated water.
3:18🔗
Adam
And by the way, come summertime, I don't take showers because I'm like a hot dog. I overheat all the time. And so what I do is I dive into the pool, hop out 10 seconds later, I'm dried off, watch TV, and an hour later, I jump. But here's how long I'm in the pool, underwater from one side to the next, hop out inside the house, but do it five times a day. Now the point is, is I'm a slob because I'm not busting out the soap on a rope. But the deal is, is you're just in that shower, you got that water saver shower head spitting on you. It's like a hummingbird taking a leak on your head. Why are you so clean? I'm submerged. And when I'm swimming, especially if I do a frog type move, or there's waters going up in the places, there's no way you could get out with a shower.
4:12🔗
Adam
I'm just saying, I'm clean. How can I get any cleaner than this? A bunch of chlorinated water. I'm under it.
4:23🔗
What do you need?
4:26🔗
I got some suntan in the weenie roast.
4:29🔗
So I'm just recovering for that.
4:37🔗
He's a lightweight.
4:38🔗
And then I went to the Dodger game today.
4:40🔗
Wow. A lot of sun. All right.
4:42🔗
Drew
This is the first case of a 28-year-old who actually needs IV fluids because of dehydration.
4:55🔗
12 bucks.
4:58🔗
What?
5:04🔗
Adam
No. I just want to get my beer and get the F out of there. But 12, it was not the 16-ounce, it was the 22-ounce.
5:12🔗
Adam
So instead of the dollars worth of beer, this was the $1.50 worth of beer that they were charging at 12 bucks for.
5:19🔗
Geesh.
5:20🔗
Adam
Insanity. And you know, they always conveniently do that thing where it's like, oh, we got to charge a ton so people don't get too trunks and don't get out of hand.
5:26🔗
Oh, okay.
5:30🔗
Adam
I see. So what are you doing? You're taking the first five and the other seven are going to Mad. Is that how it goes?
5:35🔗
You're just keeping the whole $12.
5:38🔗
Adam
Is there some charity for cops who have been killed in the line by drunk drivers or something? Or you just pocket all the money?
5:46🔗
Hello?
5:49🔗
Caller
Okay, this is going to sound really weird, but I have like a fascination with like adult diapers. I like to wear them and use them and like engage in other like childish behaviors.
6:17🔗
Caller
My father is a child molester. He went to prison when I was four and I went to talk to him in like five years.
6:58🔗
Drew
Yeah, so I'm saying. But here's the deal. I'm not saying that your grandpa was the one that did the sexual abusing. I'm just saying that perhaps your mom had some sort of sexual abuse by somebody when she was growing up, too.
7:18🔗
Adam
You know, I'm on the go, Drew, and you know, you can't pull over and take anything at a filling station anymore because they're all out of order and everything. I'll wear an adult diaper if I have a hectic day.
7:31🔗
Why not?
7:38🔗
Adam
You know, I pound coffee about 8 a.m. to noon, and then from noon to 5, it's all beer. I don't have time.
7:44🔗
Drew
I just put a catheter, just put an indwelling catheter under your penis and just deal with it that way. Much, much, much more convenient. All right. So less of the skin rash, that kind of thing.
8:06🔗
Adam
What did you think happened at age four when daddy had to go away to the camp with walls around it?
8:30🔗
Caller
No, I went to visit him for a while, but then I found out what he did and I didn't like him anymore.
8:50🔗
Caller
I don't know. I just end up ruining it. I don't end up, like, subconsciously, like, doing it.
8:56🔗
Drew
You can't be close to people. You have to live in close to people. That can be solved with therapy. Let's at least stay with that. And to the extent that you are able to start... Here's a funny thing that happens in treatment is when you're able to have a relationship, meaning in a therapeutic setting, in therapy, suddenly, magically, some of these crazy symptoms kind of fade away. So it's not like you have to dig into, well, what does this particular thing mean to you?
9:32🔗
Adam
But you don't have to go in and work a certain machine for a certain exercise. Just start working everything.
9:37🔗
Drew
Oh, by the way, rather than taking insulin for the diabetes, how about losing the weight? Yeah.
9:48🔗
Adam
Because bikini season is is right around the corner. And I'm going to suggest a one piece is you don't want, you know, you ever see a thong?
10:28🔗
Adam
They're the adult kind. Hey, they must be a little bit expensive, by the way. Like at 17, I don't think I could afford it. A box of diapers got to be 20, 30 bucks, right?
11:12🔗
Adam
I could start wearing those instead of underpants at 75 cents a pop. That's not bad. Get the jumbo. Although I probably would like a designer cut.
11:22🔗
Drew
That would be kind of awkward in the summer with you diving into the pool five times a day. What would you do?
11:34🔗
Adam
Yeah. They're pull ups. Flip it inside. Oh, how about a reversible diaper? You know what I mean?
11:43🔗
Adam
I mean, instead of crapping up the inside and throwing it away, you crap up the inside, turn it inside out, put it on again. You got a sizable hash mark behind you or in front if you spin it around like I do. But you got another, that's 100% more wear, 100%. Who are we talking to?
12:07🔗
Hello?
12:11🔗
Caller
Well, I had a question. I've been having sex with my boyfriend for like around three years already. And I've never had an orgasm. And there was a couple of times that when I was writing him, you know, I didn't, urinate on him. It was just like, you know, my water broke. Like if I was going to have an ache or something like that, I was like, it's not a lot, but it was just like a little bit. Is that an orgasm or what?
12:43🔗
Drew
I mean, some women will have fluid emitted that's not, there's a female ejaculation that can occur. It typically is with orgasm. I guess it could occur just through a milking of the glands down there. But usually, yeah, you know you have an orgasm of a separate experience. Did you experience anything when the fluid was coming out?
13:00🔗
Caller
Like, I mean, I felt, you know, it's not good. I was when I was writing him and everything, you know, I was, you know, I didn't know what it was. And I was like, oh my God, what is this? You know, and he even asked me, did you just get a geranium on me? I mean, I was like, no.
13:25🔗
Adam
No. All right. Well, when you put the un in front of no, sometimes it seems like you're lying. That's why I always go, huh?
13:41🔗
Drew
I hope you're actually having orgasm. You should know it if that's what you're fine. It's a good time.
13:56🔗
Adam
She's calling from Hanford, California. I could hear by her accent. She's probably Joe. I like to speak in the people's language. You're calling the show.
14:05🔗
Adam
Yeah, you know, Drew, we were out in Irvine for the fabulous weenie roast out for K-Rock last night. And Drew, I don't know if you've noticed, but I saw several hundred left turn arrows pop up all red on the way back to the Marriott Hotel and all throughout Irvine. Just a string of them on deserted highways.
14:33🔗
Caller
Because I turned left and well, I mean, it was you got lucky because they were turning red.
14:42🔗
Adam
I certainly would like to. It is my plan. And again, people, it is my, it is my sincere wish that you all join me in this cause of ignoring the red arrow. The light. Now, a lot of people get confused with this. A lot of people are just, I don't know if you sleepwalk through life or you don't really care or you don't know it. Like, are you the kind of people that if I put a tack in your shoe, you wouldn't notice it? People are just zombies. And I think the man counts on that. Oh, yes. Because if anyone had an ounce of dignity or intelligence, we would be insulted by what the man voice upon us. Here's the deal, everyone. The signal is green. There is a left turn arrow that is red and there's zero traffic approaching. Why? And explain to me what is so dangerous about turning left in that situation. My thing is, I just turn left. I don't wait for the whole thing to cycle or to get t-boned by a drug addict or car jack. I just turn. And I've never gotten a ticket. I've done it into the thousands of times. I did it five times yesterday on Irvine. I do it everywhere all the time. And here's why. Everyone is freaked out by it. But let me tell you guys something, because I know. I study the man. I'm inside. I got the cop brain in my brain. I know. I know how they think. Here's how cops work. And think about this, everybody. They don't write you tickets for going through red lights and turning through red arrows. Everyone is scared assless about that. But the reality is, is if you stopped at a red light, looked left, looked right, looked in your rear view and then drove through it, you'd get a ticket that went out every 15,000 times. You just would. You get many more tickets just changing lanes, talking on the phone, going 10 miles an hour over the over the speed limit and the 35.
16:33🔗
Adam
Yeah. And when you're sleeping, you don't realize you're out breaking the law. Oh, you know, right, Drew, out of every mile you drive, you're breaking the law seven eighths of a mile. You're rolling through four way stop signs. You're on the phone. You're unsafe lane changes. You're following people too closely. You're going 10 miles an hour. I mean, if they wanted to write you a ticket for almost anything that could give it to you almost any time and almost every journey you've ever been on. Except for when the A-hole drives us to the airport and goes 51.
17:04🔗
Adam
All right. Anytime you're behind the wheel, you could be pulled over at any time anyway. So why not just add the arrow to the list? A, number one. No, number one. Number two, cops looking for movement. Right. They're looking for things that look strange. Right. They want to see you swerve. They want to see you speed by them. When you go through the arrow, it doesn't look like anything. Unless they're right behind you. Unless they're directly behind you.
17:25🔗
Adam
If they're coming, let's just say, let's say they're the other car. They're the set of headlights in the distance that's coming the other direction. Do you think it looks like anything to them that some car safely a mile ahead of them turned while the light was green?
17:39🔗
Drew
Well, they might see the red arrow for the A-hole sitting there waiting for the light, the direction they're going. However, I can see them assuming, that's a computer thing, they probably get a green arrow because nobody coming our direction.
17:48🔗
Adam
Oftentimes, they don't have them synced up going the same direction or anything. Now, if the cops stopped at the red light going the other direction, it doesn't look like anything either. It just looks like you going. It looks like every other intersection he ever sees. So it doesn't register to the cop. And that's why I've been able to do it thousands of times. I beg all of you within the sound of my voice to join me on this. And then one day, I'm going to get a ticket and it's going to be the worst nightmare of the municipality gives it to him because I'm going for a full jury. I will beat it.
18:24🔗
Adam
Give me a ticket. I beg you. I beg you pussies to give me a ticket. I will beat it. I guarantee it.
18:32🔗
Adam
I will get it changed. Again, I'm not saying I'm Rosa Parks. I'm not saying I'm better. I'm just saying...
18:42🔗
Adam
You've got to mention me in the same breath. Once I get this taken care of, and think of the millions of man hours it's going to save. Everyone just sitting in deserted... I was in Irvine, 12 o'clock last night was deserted and just idiots, just sitting at Red Arrow. It's just deserted. What is that? How much time do we have to burn? Why can't we put that on a timer? All right.
19:14🔗
Adam
They can't put the goddamn... They can't put the goddamn signal on a timer? Can't be done?
19:22🔗
Adam
They worked the strobe light out with the camera where the picture arrives. Think of this technology. Everyone just think of this technology. In Los Angeles, there's a million intersection. If you drive through that intersection, two-tenths of a second off of when the thing is time, the yellow light is time, you'll see about five strobe lights hit you when a camera parked 80 feet away on a three-story pole will shoot your car from 90 different angles, and four days later, you'll get something in the mail that has your face, your license plate, the car's VIN number on it, how fast you're going, the date, the second, everything.
20:02🔗
Adam
That, no problem. That's a layup. You putting the goddamn red arrows on a goddamn timer so we don't have to sit around at four in the morning waiting for them to change. No, no. Oh, oh, what do we, what do you think we are, about 50 years away from that, from a technological standpoint?
20:21🔗
Adam
Maybe 100 years. Maybe our grandkids can enjoy it. Pussies, milking everyone. Of course, and here's all you need to know, one of them's revenue, the other, no revenue, or possibly even hurt revenue. They don't get to write a ticket. Yeah.
20:41🔗
Yeah.
20:45🔗
Well, I have this unfortunate thing that happens. I sweat on my face and it's not just like a little bit, it's like embarrassing.
20:58🔗
No. No. That's why I called because I was told that Adam had some kind of surgery that prevented that from happening.
21:08🔗
Adam
My face sweat. Basically, my forehead was the number one and then would just drip down my forehead. It really was funny because a lot of people have sweaty head where you see their hair starting to stick to the back of their neck and stuff. I never really even had sweaty head. I had sweaty forehead.
21:28🔗
Adam
The lip thing was weird because the lip thing kicked in much later in life. Never had it until recently.
21:40🔗
Adam
You can have a surgery, like they have surgery for sweaty palms, which I suggest people with sweaty palms get, or please do not extend your hand to me, especially when there's no real need to shake. Hey dude, you're cool. I'll give you a thumbs up. But we have to shake on that one. A lot of that to Weenie Ross yesterday. They have one for underarm sweat, and then they have one for head sweat. The head sweat is kind of the most involved of them.
22:08🔗
Adam
They go in through your armpit, and they vibrate some nerve or something, and it works. But here's the thing too, they also have topical medicines, and they have pills you can take. Like that's not good for every single day, but if you had like a job interview or something, you could put this stuff on.
22:28🔗
Adam
Right. Alicia? Do you, I mean, also, I don't know, you may, you know what, when I had this surgery done, there was like a 18-year-old chick.
22:47🔗
Adam
Which made, like, I couldn't tell why I was in a, first, okay, I got things to say, but yeah, get this surgery, why not?
22:54🔗
Drew
Oh, there, there are, we'll see websites out there, this little websites about there, about people having their lives ruined by the surgery. I've never been the same, blah, blah, blah.
23:10🔗
Adam
Your body needs to sweat. If you're a big sweater, that's the way it is. But just go on the internet and start checking it out, because there are things you do, and there's also topical stuff and pills and things you can take.
23:24🔗
Adam
I took the topical stuff. I mean, yeah, it works okay. All right, all right, what do you want me to do? Come over to the scalpel? Everyone's disappointed, like, oh.
23:37🔗
Adam
Yeah, at least, yeah. I'm gonna dispatch a Medevac helicopter over to Boise, Idaho, and I'll bring you to a specialist in Zurich. What the hell do you want me to do? I told you as much as I could tell you about this goddamn procedure. What do you want me to do, perform it?
23:51🔗
Well, did you have it done, though? You had it done?
23:55🔗
I know, I know, but what's the recovery like from it? You know, I don't want it to be, like, you know, really.
24:03🔗
Drew
He was back working, like, the next day. That day. And he had a hernia operation a week prior.
24:13🔗
Adam
It's a little chest pain. It's like somebody kicked, it's like a mule kicked you in the sternum. But nothing, I'll tell you the worst part about any surgery is the saltines I haven't eaten since I was 13, and then the box of bad mixed juice that you, the tropical fruit punch, you suck like an invalid.
24:34🔗
Drew
I will remind you the worst part of the hernia surgery the week prior was you insulting my neighbor and anesthesiologist friend. In a state of intoxication.
24:40🔗
Adam
No, he was screwing around with me, so I screwed around with him. Yeah. But seriously, Drew, you guys can't do better. You can't get some wheat thins and a Martinelli's. I got to suck off a box like a retarded 14-year-old, stuff that's worse than Sunny D, and then eat soda crackers, the worst food. Heard a nutritionist once say the worst food ever made, salt and shortening and white flour and sugar.
25:04🔗
Drew
I've always found it very interesting that the hospital industry can never seem to take a page from hotel industry. It's like hotels have sort of got it figured out. Yeah. Why can't we translate over to hospital?
25:14🔗
Adam
I know because you're recovering and they're like, would you like some saltines? Well, first off, you're jacked up and you're trying to tear the thing out of the cellophane and it's busting, and it's in your mouth and it's drooling everywhere. Then it's like, would you like a box of punch? Yeah. I got a whole cooler full of boxes of punch. Looking forward to getting back to? Yeah. I really got to get on my boxes of punch. I keep a few boxes of punch. What do I look like? I'm going to look like my nine? Go get some goddamn juice. Box of punch. How about you have a, how about this? How about a little grape juice? How about a little apple juice? How about one of the Martinelli sparkling apples?
25:54🔗
Adam
Or by the way, what, what, what's the harm in the beer? I already got the ride home. How about you crack a new beer?
26:00🔗
Adam
I'm effed up. This will cool me down. It'll bring me down nice. It'll be a nice step. All right.
26:06🔗
Adam
I'm just saying, I can drink a punch, a box of something that just says orange punch drink mix on it. Could nine, like you never, okay.
26:18🔗
Okay. All right. All right. All right.
26:24🔗
Thank you for calling Loveline.
26:33🔗
Drew
This portion of Loveline is sponsored in part by the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration. Safety Belt Enforcement is not about tickets. It's about saving lives. So remember, click it or ticket.
26:52🔗
Drew
By the way, Adam, I was kind of thrown tonight. We started our show. Our engineer sort of chimed in and said, have a great show, guys. I'll be positive. Like, huh, huh.
27:02🔗
Adam
No, usually each show begins about, it's about five seconds before the show goes. And I'm like, Anderson, are you high?
27:36🔗
Adam
Yeah. Well, you know what they say, a new broom sweeps clean. Believe me, if Todd were here for a few years, she'd be like, oh, of course, yes, three.
27:59🔗
Caller
OK. Here's my phone. And I'm not going to show you a corded for you either, because this is just blind. I mean, basically, I'm involved with an older man and he has a lot of baggage. What does that mean?
28:13🔗
Caller
Like he's got the ex-girlfriend, the ex-wife that, well, his ex-wife was like the kind of high school sweetheart type thing.
28:22🔗
And she has two kids.
28:27🔗
Drew
How old is he now? Twenty nine? I thought you were going to describe somebody 48 or something.
28:50🔗
Adam
I got her one of those writing. It's like, it's not a full size Hummer. It's a smaller one.
29:05🔗
We've been calling you guys.
29:09🔗
Drew
And you mentioned Paige. I mean, of course, we would know exactly what you're talking about.
29:32🔗
Caller
And then he's got another little girl named Pierce. And she's five. And they live in Arizona.
29:38🔗
Drew
Listen, be kind to these people for one second and not mention their names on the radio, please.
29:42🔗
One's not good enough?
29:50🔗
Adam
First off, I think Roxanne thinks she's talking to Lycus or something. There's a weird, we seem to get it more in other people where there's sort of a non-tracking.
30:10🔗
Adam
Or start asking them questions or something? I feel like for at least three quarters of the conversations we have on this radio are sort of half a conversation.
30:40🔗
Hello? All right.
30:49🔗
Adam
Well, he has a lot of kids. And he's 29. He's got a girlfriend. The girl obviously has got kids from an ex-wife and an ex-girlfriend.
30:56🔗
Drew
All the BS about childhood sweetheart and all that stuff is just total crap. The guy's a predator of sorts.
31:04🔗
Drew
Yeah. More than predator, he's a menace. I think it's more of a better way of putting it.
31:08🔗
Adam
Well, here's the thing, y'all. You see, you guys are all out on Friday nights, kicking up your heels, drinking your wine coolers, dropping your ex, snorting your peyote or whatever the hell you're doing. I stay home and I watch 2020 and 48 hours and all these shows. And every episode is the same thing. It's about this serial. People that are serial, they marry, they kill, they collect insurance, they whatever, they have a rap, they have a story. And it's always the same thing. They come in, they come in like gangbusters, they shower the person with gifts. And the next thing you know, the parents start getting inklings when the person said he was a Navy fighter pilot. But when the dad asked him how much fuel weighs, he has no idea. And all these little things are coming up. But they do it over and over and over and over again. Now, you at a certain point become a victim because you crank out a kid with this guy, or you get married, or he has you killed via contract killer, or he maxes out your credit card. But there's a threshold point. You know, maybe it's week number six, maybe it's week nine, maybe it's month five.
32:19🔗
Adam
There's a threshold point where you have to sort of stop and go, why get in? Why? I can see what this guy's done. He's been divorced a couple of times, he's got a few kids from different families.
32:31🔗
Drew
But that was a childhood sweetheart thing, Adam. That was too soon. The next girl, she was a bitch. She abused him and she didn't give him any. The next one, she manipulated him. It was her fault.
32:40🔗
Adam
Now, I understand when it's the other way around. I understand when you're a single mom and you're 41, and you have three kids, and the guy married his secretary, and he left you with the mortgage and the kids, and some 29-year-old guy comes around. It's like, look, any port in a storm. I mean, you're desperate. You're looking for something at this point. That's what these guys prey on. What's that?
33:02🔗
Adam
Yeah, but when you're a young woman, and someone comes with a whole bunch of baggage, or even a young man, and somebody shows up with a ton of baggage. Why?
33:19🔗
Adam
All right. I'm just saying, people, all you need to do is take a look at the history, and that's where all your answers will be provided.
33:28🔗
Drew
You know, I want to write another book. Please do. What drives us crazy, and I'm thinking about it, what really drives us crazy is that the Americans, this culture, does not seem to understand what motivates. No. What makes somebody make a certain choice, do the same thing again, go, you know what I mean? Isn't that it? Isn't that what we're complaining about?
33:48🔗
Adam
And not only that, but talk about this culture, not caring, you know, the court system, we have a court system that says, yeah, all those 9-1-1 recordings of Anna Nicole Brown, or Nicole Brown Simpson calling 9-1-1, screaming, he's gonna kill me, he's gonna kill me.
34:06🔗
Adam
Inadmissible. Yeah, neither here nor there. So those won't be admissible. Well, that's all you need to know.
34:14🔗
Adam
You got 10 separate phone call recordings of her screaming, he's gonna kill me, on 10 separate occasions. Then she shows up dead. That's about all you need to know. Yeah. We just figure out who the he is.
34:31🔗
Adam
And that's, you know, the fact that your last three wives died under mysterious circumstance and now you're on trial for the fourth and we can't bring up the first three, that's all you need to know.
34:43🔗
Drew
That's all you need to know. This is what drives us crazy, though, isn't it, is that we want it, somehow we want to have it both ways. That people that do crazy things and behave in crazy ways are just like everybody else. Anybody could do that. Anybody. Right? It's the runaway bride. Anybody. Your neighbor. Anybody.
35:16🔗
Adam
You wonder about all these, you know, pedophiles. They're abducting these kids that were in the joint for 13 years. And that's all you need to know about how much people change. Now, here's about all people do. People get sober. They don't really change that much.
35:45🔗
Adam
You don't have the person that stole the old woman's purse because they were freaked out of their mind on crack, you know. That's what you get. But minus the drug part, pedophiles, they don't really change that much.
35:57🔗
Drew
Well, you know what? Even the crack addict doesn't change. I had a conversation with a patient about this today. In fact, is that people really don't change until they believe what they're doing is going to kill them.
36:09🔗
Drew
That's when they really change. When they get to a point, they go, Oh my God, this, I'm going to die if I don't make a change and really change. Then they change.
36:20🔗
Yeah.
36:31🔗
Caller
Well, basically, I had my heart completely broken by my ex-boyfriend, and soon after, there's this girl who's around giving me attention, and next thing you know, we're dating and hooking up, and it's been about six, seven months now.
36:49🔗
Drew
So you've just sort of switched teams. You're not really bi, you're just in love with a girl.
36:57🔗
Drew
Well, I don't think this is about sexual orientation. This is about being alone, liking this person, and off you went.
37:15🔗
Caller
The thing is, it's great. I mean, I have had more orgasms with her than any boyfriend I've ever been with. Wow.
37:34🔗
Caller
I hear about bisexuality and this, and I guess it exists, but I mean, it's just confusing to me. It's like, here I am in limbo.
37:42🔗
Do I like girls?
37:43🔗
Do I like both?
37:45🔗
Drew
Well, you like this girl. You like this one, but let's sort of explore. I mean, were you sort of rendered this way? Did you have some trauma? Can I ask her?
37:52🔗
Adam
Let me get this theory. Let me get a theory. We talk about women not... Women being much more flexible in the attraction department. They can like a short, fat, bald guy with a hooked nose because he's really witty and he's kind and he's interesting and he's clever and he's whatever. I think at a certain point it can transcend sexual... Wow.
38:24🔗
Drew
However, I just want to test my other theory, which is that rarely happens without some...
39:07🔗
Caller
I work with couples that have problems creating or having kids, basically. I work with egg donors and surrogate mothers.
39:21🔗
Drew
In terms of setting people together, administratively setting it up or actually doing some sort of counseling with them? Setting it up. Headhunter, snatch hunter, so to speak, yeah.
39:48🔗
Caller
Someone's smuggling bootleg eggs in from Mexico and Ace wants to know why. In order to find that egg, he's got to become a rapist.
40:25🔗
Drew
Let me float another theory. Stephanie, we're just sort of theorizing about you. Infinitely healthy and therefore infinitely flexible.
40:42🔗
Adam
Well, Stephanie, we don't know what to say. You're attracted to her. Obviously, you don't have to really worry too much about getting married or...
40:51🔗
Adam
I mean, it doesn't exist too much in the wild and the pure form, but for women, I think it's much more feasible than it is for men.
41:00🔗
Drew
And most bisexuality in young people particularly is about confusion, not a firm bisexual orientation. That's kind of unusual to have. By the way, bisexuality, then you really need to be saying, I'm either hetero or homo, depending on who I'm with in my monogamous relationship.
41:19🔗
Adam
Well, here's the other thing too. As a female, do whatever you want, because you're not going to get pregnant, you're not going to get married.
41:25🔗
Adam
And if you're 23 and you're going down this path and you're a guy or whatever, or you're with a guy, it's like you're going to get knocked up, you're going to get married, you're going to get screwed up, you're going to get divorced. Here, do all you want. But please, stop referring to these chicks that sell their eggs for five grand a pop as egg donors. No, they're egg merchants. They understand.
41:50🔗
Adam
They're brokers, they're merchants, whatever you want to call them. Stop calling them donors. You know why? I'll tell you why. I'll tell you what happens when you bastardize the language. When you call everything rape, when you call everyone a donor, it actually takes away from the people who actually donate a kidney or do an altruistic endeavor like that where they actually do don't things.
42:23🔗
Adam
The point is, is you are selling things. You should not be lumped in with the noble donors.
42:39🔗
Adam
All right, let's take ourselves a little break. We'll be right back after this. Hey, everybody. I'm Adam Metz, Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-LLV-E. George Garcia is in here tomorrow night from Lost, and Melinda Clark is in here on Tuesday from the OC.
43:38🔗
Drew
I was not saying the lobby. I was standing in that, you know how in New York, in colder climates, they have an outer door and an inner door. You have two sets of doors. I was standing between those two doors talking to you.
43:48🔗
Adam
And she was coming home from somewhere, partying at 3 in the morning. Little Tutski problem.
44:01🔗
Yeah.
44:12🔗
Yes.
44:15🔗
Adam
What's happening, my brother? Hold on a second. I don't wanna get, I'll get all fired up. I can see this question.
44:24🔗
Caller
Hey, yeah. When I was running, my friend distracted me and I ran into a pole. When I ran into the pole, my balls cracked in half and I went to see the doctor. He's like, I don't know. That's all he could tell me for now. He's like, wait until we get some tests back.
45:23🔗
Drew
You need to see a urologist. You need an ultrasound. Do not pass go. Just go do it. You can crack your testes. I don't know how you did both of them simultaneously. And you really they don't really feel cracked when you crack them. They they sort of swell and you can see the crack when you look on the ultrasound.
45:54🔗
No.
46:04🔗
Drew
Can I sound like one of those, remember that movie, You Are Our Only Hope, those aliens that came down with Tim Allen.
46:17🔗
Caller
Remember your idea about Petafil Island? I was getting into the gaming business and I was starting to make that a game.
46:26🔗
Adam
Oh, yeah. That's a good idea. You had an idea for a movie, The Week. It's the year 2018. Again, somehow when we go into the future, just a few years, it makes a big difference.
46:42🔗
Adam
We've taken all the pedophiles and put them on one island. And now they all live there together. And a plane full of Eagle Scouts crashes into it.
47:10🔗
Adam
Oh, OK. But let me tell you something about the ultimate prey. The ultimate prey, you don't give a 20-minute head start to.
47:24🔗
Adam
Let's take a break. We're going to take the we're going to the ultimate place, the bathroom.
47:56🔗
Adam
Hell yeah. That's what I'm talking about. Phone number, 1-800-LOVE-191-er. You ready to rock, Drew?
48:08🔗
Adam
I was hanging out at the Big Irvine Meadows Weenie Roast watching some of the bands. I forgot what Lowlife's roadies were. They are really sort of part roofer, part trucker.
48:31🔗
Adam
A lot of guys wearing black. I saw a guy sporting a shirt and seen about 25 years, which is the practice football jersey with no numbers or name on it, but with the mesh in the chest, but the solid shoulder and arm.
48:49🔗
Adam
Siri, you mix that with a pair of tight jeans, you have the ultimate white trash ensemble. You know that look? Crazy weird, tight jeans. And by the way, you know the guys when it was, you know, it's 105 degrees, they're running around and wearing this super tight jeans. What is that?
49:15🔗
Adam
You know the thing about dress I found? They're either the guys that overdo it. These are the guys who are wearing the shorts and the pants, but they unzip them and they turn into shorts and they're wearing the high top all terrain action boots. And they got they got themselves the wide brim hat with the shades. And, you know, there's there's what there's a crazy over the top guy.
49:47🔗
Adam
And then there's the guys who are in the denim jacket and like loafers. And like, what's that guy? You don't see the in between guy that much. But that look, that look, that mesh jersey thing right out of the 70s, where you can see the guy's belly button.
50:03🔗
Adam
And by the way, those things are made out of recycled tennis balls. Yeah, like you couldn't think of a worse thing to wear on a hot day. First off, you you could put an infant in one of those things. You smell BO coming from that from like a newborn in a matter of seconds. Like, whoa, that kid's fun.
50:23🔗
Adam
Right. And it would be the equivalent to wearing like a trash bag, like poor or trash, like a burlap trash bag, like a barrel, a barrel. And sweating and smelling just watching this dude. And I was like, you don't want to put a T-shirt on it. And by the way, do I really need to see the navel hair poking through your garment? Right. I got to get a look at the belly.
50:47🔗
Adam
You know what I'm saying? I know. And their thing is it's hot. Yeah, but you're wearing tight jeans and biker boots, so what do you mean it's hot? You know what I'm saying?
50:58🔗
Drew
Yes. All right. I would say, speaking over the top, there was someone that got the award for sort of most festive yesterday. Someone had the best time. Someone you spent a little time with. You remember what I'm talking about? Do you see Pedro? Pedro is having a good time.
51:14🔗
Adam
Yeah. Pedro from Napoleon Dynamite. Napoleon Dynamite. He's wearing a top hat. He was the belle of the ball.
51:31🔗
Adam
Yeah. I realized too, speaking of looks and attire, I always feel bad for these guys that make a commitment to a certain look because then they're screwed because they can't go down and get a quart of milk like the Rockabilly guys. It's like my commitment is zero. I'm a slob. I just put on sweatpants and flip flops and just go everywhere. It's the best way to go because you've now declared slob. Yeah, I've declared slob. But otherwise, your Rockabilly or your goth or your Nuvo or whatever, and you got to put a ton of gel in your hair before you leave the house.
52:02🔗
Adam
Yeah. It's funny. I went to the I went to the Weenie Roast with Dickie from the Boston's and Dickie has a look. Dickie's got it. Dickie can't wear shorts. Oh, well, think about it.
52:19🔗
Adam
You see what I'm saying? So he was coming over at three o'clock and we're going to leave for Irvine and it was 110 degrees. And I was thinking, I'm putting shorts on because I'm not going to be running all over this blacktop frying my balls off. But I knew Dicky couldn't wear shorts because he cannot wear shorts because he's got a thing going on. He's dicky. He's got a look going on. He's got some tans, all that stuff. So the poor guy showed up in his dungarees and I don't even know. And like I think he was sporting some like Doc Martens and stuff. Just I would have just been I would have upside down heart on my ass the whole day from just sweating. Are you ready to rock, Drew?
53:45🔗
It just worked out that way.
53:53🔗
Caller
Oh, well, we were fooling around and stuff and he was jacking himself off and then he tried to cover himself up, but didn't work fast enough, so it kind of squirted on my face.
54:12🔗
Caller
We were in the same bed because he liked it when I'm like, like touch him, like on his stomach or on his back and stuff.
54:21🔗
No.
54:38🔗
Adam
Well, wait a second. Why sometimes? And what's he doing to himself? I mean, you guys aren't having intercourse, though, right?
54:53🔗
Adam
Oh, so when he was lying on his back, jacking himself off, you weren't actually having intercourse with him.
55:09🔗
Adam
He's lying on his back, he's jacking himself off, and some shot off. He tried to block it, but it hit me in the head. Are you guys having sex? No. Well, not at the time.
55:23🔗
Adam
I think sometimes people think we're as dumb as they are, Drew, and I think that's where the problem is. We would have been confused about, well, wait a minute, I don't get it. I mean, he's jacking himself off, but you're in him, right?
55:40🔗
Adam
Emily, do me a favor. Do me a favor. Find the closest junior college to where you live and go reserve yourself a spot. Just go over there and you can be, I'm guessing you could be a legacy. Like you have an older brother who went there or something. Is it claim your chair with the desk attached to it.
56:09🔗
Drew
Emily, here's the deal. By the way, this idea that he accidentally did what he did, he was intentionally doing this and aiming.
56:38🔗
Generally?
57:02🔗
Adam
Emily, I'm worried about you and your life. You seem exquisitely naïve, pretty stupid, and something bad's gonna happen to you.
57:24🔗
Drew
Yeah, he doesn't want to. That's the issue. Cut this guy out. You'll be happier in the long run. You need a couple more years of life under your belt before you understand what relationships are, who you are in a relationship, and what motivates man.
57:48🔗
Adam
Go get yourself a job soon as you graduate and screw junior college, all right? I don't want you wasting time.
58:00🔗
Adam
No. You're not going to get a junior college. You got to go somewhere and get a job, all right, Emily? I may forego my senior year if I was you.
58:42🔗
Yes.
58:44🔗
Caller
What's happening, brother? I got a quick, quick idea about your red light running. Little diatribe you put on a little bit ago. First off, I practice it a lot.
59:02🔗
Caller
Absolutely. And you made a good point. I mean, some are protected, some aren't. I heard you once say, if they didn't trust us with cars, we'd all be running into the walls anyway, right? Yeah, yeah.
59:10🔗
Adam
I know. Like, we can't decide what's safe and what's prudent and what's not. Every single second you're behind the wheel, you have the opportunity to turn on to a kid's lawn and run into the master bedroom of the house.
59:26🔗
Adam
You can hop up. You hear it every once in a while. Just go to the farmer's market, hop up on the curb and start plowing people like a publicist.
59:40🔗
Caller
A union, a fund, something where all of everyone wants to be involved in this movement to take it, stick it to the man, a dollar a month.
59:52🔗
Caller
Start paying and when you get a ticket, if you are a subscriber to this union, the union is going to take care of that ticket for you.
1:00:00🔗
Adam
But I would rather everyone just fought it. I would rather everyone drove through the red light when it was safe. I'm sorry, the red arrow when it was safe. And then if you do get a ticket, and so far I've been through thousands, I've never gotten one, but if you do, then you fight it and they have to explain to you why what you did was dangerous in that particular intersection as opposed to the intersection before it and the one after it that don't have an arrow. And by the way, that one, which never had one for 45 years. Now it's had one for 45 minutes? Yes?
1:00:34🔗
Adam
Instead of telling people that turning right on a red is illegal in California, that we can't get into. Oh, Drew, what I could do for this goddamn city. How I could get it moving.
1:00:48🔗
Yeah.
1:00:56🔗
They're large C, almost a D. Hmm.
1:01:04🔗
Um, I'm not sure.
1:01:10🔗
Well, I do, but like, it's kind of confusing because I wear like three different sizes.
1:01:18🔗
Uh, probably like a 36 C.
1:01:25🔗
Yeah.
1:01:26🔗
Adam
Okay. How much thinking, by the way, about what size bra you wear when you're concerned about it? Yeah? Can anyone give an answer by the way?
1:01:38🔗
Um, well, I have like a 32 D. And a 34 C.
1:01:51🔗
Yeah. At least that's what I was told when I was measured.
1:02:02🔗
Yeah.
1:02:02🔗
Adam
So, like, if you open a movie theater and you were at the concession stand, the extra large would be the medium, and then the medium would be bigger than the large?
1:02:13🔗
Probably.
1:02:14🔗
Adam
Okay. All right. Starbucks kind of does that. All right. And how big is the rest of you?
1:02:20🔗
I'm 4'9. Yeah. And I would probably weigh like 115.
1:02:34🔗
Adam
And by the way, that 32D, that's the bra you want to find in the hamper when you're working at the house and you're rummaging around. Anyway, Lily, your question is.
1:02:46🔗
Caller
Yeah, there's these guys at my school and I like one of them, but I'm afraid to say something to them because a lot of people think that I'm a slut and a whore. But I've never really done anything with anybody.
1:03:11🔗
Caller
I guess, I don't know, like these girls started a rumor about me and somebody, but I don't even know the person. And so, yeah.
1:03:21🔗
Adam
Well, wait a second, here's why I always yell at people who worry about other people or claim other people are doing this. I find it to be a form of narcissism or being conceited to say that other people are saying other things about you. I find they don't say it nearly as much as you think they do. And somehow that makes you more important. Somebody started a rumor that you had sex with some guy who you've never met and it had caught on. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, girls can be tough. But ultimately they care about themselves and they can be a little cruel.
1:03:59🔗
Drew
But you know all that shunning stuff. They actually get power by shunning and so they'll shun one person.
1:04:06🔗
Adam
I know, but here's the reason I say this, Drew, and I know you went to the Little Lord Fauntleroy School for albino hemophiliacs. I went to North Hollywood High, I was like 35 middle class screwball kids from the valley and trucked in from the city and the barrio and up in Hebrew Heights. They came from all over the place, Drew, stop that. And I know what's going on. It was a nice sampling of just screwed up teenagers. And there was a little of this going on, but meh.
1:04:36🔗
Drew
All right, well, let's assume it's a fair amount. Let's just address it. Women that grow sort of sexualized bodies, particularly when they're young.
1:04:47🔗
Drew
I know, but you get looked at by guys for that, and guys sort of get preoccupied with that, or that's what they are.
1:04:54🔗
Drew
I was kind of into that, and the girls sort of get defensive about it, makes a gang up on you a little bit. But there's an easy way to sort of take it all down, just wear, dress down.
1:05:03🔗
Adam
Yeah, well, yeah, but when you're 4'11, and you dress down, you just start, you start walking around looking like a mascot. You look like a troll from Six Flags, Magic Mountain.
1:05:36🔗
Caller
Well, yeah, that's what people have said, but I'm friends with him now. And so I don't know.
1:05:46🔗
Adam
It really isn't. You get a little older, you realize, ah, who cares? No one knows, no one cares.
1:05:54🔗
Drew
He'll be a little weird and freaked out, but that's because he's uncomfortable, not because he doesn't want to talk to you.
1:05:59🔗
Adam
Yeah. Oh, Drew, projecting, getting cathartic. Yeah, just go talk. And look, I know everything's clicky and everything's, you know, peer pressurey, but no one really cares. I mean, I just remember people in high school, some would hook up, some wouldn't. Some had girlfriends, some had boyfriends. And it wasn't that big a deal. You couldn't go steal somebody else's person or you could even do that. But the point is, is people don't care nearly as much as you think they care when you're 16.
1:06:46🔗
Caller
My husband, I've been married for two years. My husband's penis has gotten considerably larger in like the last six months.
1:07:39🔗
Adam
All of a sudden, boom, snaps into focus. You repeating the question and putting just in front of it can't... But it's not gonna work. Kristen? Oh, wait a minute. I want to talk to Kristen.
1:08:05🔗
Well, it feels larger.
1:08:20🔗
Caller
I'm just worried medically concerned about it because it's not something that he thinks is relevant to go to the doctor for.
1:08:42🔗
Adam
All right. Here's the thing. There are not all boners were created equal, Drew. There are times it's sort of like there are days when you wouldn't mind someone wouldn't mind someone taking a picture of it. And then there are days where it's like no cameras in the courtroom. No cameras in the bathroom.
1:09:03🔗
Adam
Boom. Big powder puff. No, there are some days when I don't know, just see there are days your body feels that way. Take your shirt off and you're all of a sudden, oh, not bad. You see a vein in your arm and stuff. You sort of look muscular. And then days you take your shirt off and you get in front of the mirror. It's like, it seems things seem to work or something.
1:09:21🔗
Drew
Some of that may be levels of circulating testosterone changing. And that's why I asked about the job, because men that get into positions of authority, the testosterone levels do go up. New relationships goes up or multiple relations. So, when you start moving into alpha male roles, your biology response to that, and I've heard anecdotal reports that that might affect slightly penis size, but not much.
1:09:43🔗
Adam
Now, again, if he is going to measure the penis, here's my rule of thumb. The penis, and this is how I measure mine, again, because there's some controversy.
1:09:55🔗
Adam
Well, do you take the ruler and stuff it in your abdomen? Do you put it on the bottom side of your penis? Do you do it lying down on your back? Again, here's the unofficial way I measure. From the center of the anus to just past the tip. Okay.
1:10:21🔗
Adam
All right. Let's take ourselves a little break. When we come back, Christine is going to give us advice for chicks to have orgasms. Guaranteed, she says, after this.
1:10:38🔗
Drew
This portion of Love Line is sponsored in part by the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration. Safety belt enforcement is not about tickets. It's about saving lives. So remember, click it or take it.
1:10:52🔗
Adam
Hey, everybody. It's the Love Line. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-L-A-V-E-1-9-1-R. Let's get to the phones and speak to Christine. It's 25. Christine.
1:11:05🔗
Hey, what's up?
1:11:07🔗
First off, I want to say Adam.
1:11:13🔗
Adam
You haven't spoke about it yet this week, but I'm really, really wanting to get the pool game changed from Marco Polo to Adam Corolla. And I'm feeling, first off, I feel like people are behind me.
1:11:27🔗
Adam
And I know what it's like to have people not be behind a brilliant idea of mine. I don't think people initially jump behind my attack crows idea.
1:11:39🔗
Adam
The dogs that sniffed cancer, venereal disease, people are off. There's many, many things people didn't jump on me with. But I think replacing Marco Polo with Adam Corolla is immediately rang true for people. Yeah. And again, the smear campaign against Marco Polo is going to be awesome. Marco Polo says he's a family man.
1:12:03🔗
Adam
You start explaining. And like I said, I don't want to play the racist card, but I'll certainly float it.
1:12:10🔗
Adam
Yeah. Listen, there wasn't a white guy, there were a European guy alive in the 13-somethings that didn't enslave a few people of color. I'm just going to hold it. I'm just going to say the facts. That's all. All right. Go ahead, Kristen.
1:12:25🔗
Caller
OK, well, I just want to say a lot of people call and a lot of females call and they've never been able to have an orgasm ever. And you guys give them the advice of running the bathwater or whatever. And I bet you that if they actually just put in a pornography, like a video or read a magazine, just masturbated, it'd probably be a lot easier.
1:12:48🔗
Drew
Yeah. First of all, reading the magazine is a different thing than looking at pictures or looking at a porno.
1:13:01🔗
Caller
Look at the pictures or you can read like erotic literature, which turns a lot of females on.
1:13:11🔗
Drew
That's why there are Harlequin novels and what was it? Penthouse Forum. Those are for women. But they are. Men get nothing out of that stuff.
1:13:26🔗
Adam
How dare you speak to a man of such exquisite passion as Dr. Drew and sell him that he's not sensitive to raw sensuality.
1:13:41🔗
Drew
What you underestimate is how diverse women are. And there's plenty of women like you, but most are not like you.
1:13:47🔗
Drew
And this is the point. And every woman thinks that the other women is somehow lying or distorted, haven't figured the key out yet. And the fact is the reality of the diversity in the X chromosome is so profound that the women's sexual functioning has expressed a phenomenally complex variety.
1:14:04🔗
Adam
Well, as a guy, I could only imagine if I met another guy and it was like, I was like, yeah, this chick had huge cans and she popped in a porn and started performing oral on me. The guy went, ugh.
1:14:22🔗
Adam
How uncomfortable. Yeah, I'd be like, are you high? I'd start beating him with my shoe. I keep a slipper just for beating guys who disagree with me sexually.
1:14:31🔗
Drew
Or if you were to think to yourself, you'd be like, I'm thinking, well, I can't talk about that because I understand what he's talking about. It's different for me.
1:14:44🔗
Drew
It has nothing to do with, very little to do with the social context. They're just a fantastically diverse biology there. It turns out the Y chromosome comes in sort of one type. So what makes a male a male is pretty much the same across all males. But what makes a female female and her sexual functioning is terrifically diverse.
1:15:04🔗
Drew
So for you, things that are more masculine types of arousal systems, things that are more visual or into it for you, they're women that have absolutely zero on the visual frontier.
1:15:14🔗
Adam
The, the, but the advice of, you know, reading something erotic certainly couldn't hurt, but it's just going to sort of move them in that direction. Eventually, if they ain't able to run some water on themselves or drop a finger, they ain't going to get there.
1:15:35🔗
Drew
But what I find so fascinating is, with talking to Kristen, is that so many women just sort of announce how all women are, because that's how they are. Therefore, all women must be that way. And I can understand how they could feel that way, but it's not, unfortunately. The way it bewilders me is why women don't talk amongst themselves.
1:15:53🔗
Drew
The ones that are different than Kristen are afraid to speak up to the Christians. You know what I'm saying?
1:15:57🔗
Adam
Right. But even if they do, the Christians of the world just say they're doing something wrong, or if you'd listen to me, or I could show you how to do it.
1:16:05🔗
Drew
Right. So they feel flawed, and then the magazines tell them they're flawed because they don't have organisms like 17-year-old males, so they clam up.
1:16:17🔗
Drew
What's up, Adam? Hang on a second, Jonathan. Interesting, I didn't know that Kristen is not the multi-orgasmic type of female either.
1:16:31🔗
Caller
You know, interestingly enough, I've never had an orgasm through penetration. I've only been able to do it through masturbation once in a while.
1:16:38🔗
Drew
All right. Now, I want you to imagine there are women that have orgasms only with penetration and will have 30 orgasms in a session. Imagine that. What is that?
1:16:50🔗
Drew
Okay. Now, how come you can't do that, Kristin? You know, I would... You underestimate what women can do. You underestimate it.
1:17:06🔗
Adam
You're not in touch with your body, okay? Because then if the guy was effing you, you'd have a thousand like me.
1:17:12🔗
Drew
No, that's just a different kind of construct, construct. A different female. Oh, true.
1:17:23🔗
Adam
All right, there you go. And those chicks, yeah, would be, yes. And them giving advice to Kristen about how to just relax.
1:17:36🔗
Adam.
1:17:39🔗
Caller
Adam, I'd like to let you know that I got a group of my friends who played that today. They all get along pretty good, dude.
1:17:55🔗
Caller
A bunch of people were looking at it like, what the hell are you doing? You know, but I told them it's a new game.
1:18:09🔗
Caller
Adam, I was gonna talk to you about that red arrow thing, dude. I got pulled over for it.
1:18:17🔗
Adam
Now, I've been begging everyone just to drive through the red arrows when the signal's green.
1:18:27🔗
Caller
The cop was actually, like, if you're making a left, the cop was, like, on a driveway. It was one of those motorcycle cops that pretty much are hiding to catch the speeders.
1:18:35🔗
Caller
Yeah, like, no, in front of me. Like, when I made a left and I was already on the other side, he came up from the driveway. He was already on the block that I was turning onto.
1:18:59🔗
Caller
I know, so he pulls me over, right? He says, you know what you did wrong, son? And I said, no, I don't. He said, you just went through a red arrow. I was like, technically it's green. I see the big bright green circle, and it's safe for me to go. Why couldn't I go? He's like, but there's a red sign. I was like, there's no signs out here that says I can't go on red. So he's all, and then he starts arguing about it, and he's like, you know what, son, I'm gonna let you go off with a warning this time, but don't do it.
1:19:22🔗
Adam
Really? Yeah. Yeah. Well, good man. Hey, listen, everybody, I'm into the spirit of law.
1:19:28🔗
Drew
I mean, you didn't blame Adam, Jonathan, you didn't say Adam Corolla says I've got to do this. It's a movement, don't you understand? Join us.
1:19:49🔗
Adam
No, they had a van. They had their own van. You know, I realized that I was hanging around with Dickey Barrett from the Boss Tones yesterday at the big event. Dickey is probably a veteran of 2000 of these types of shows.
1:20:05🔗
Adam
And so I was like, well, we got to wait for the shuttle bus to get us over to the Marriott. And he's, oh, no, we don't. I thought, well, what's your plan? And we ran into the lead singer of the killers, talked to him for a second, said, where's your van? He says, right over there. Where are you going? I'm going back in the venue. That van can give us a ride to the Marriott, right? And next thing you know, we're in a van. And you know the beauty of all guys who drive vans? Oh, they got a story, boy. All guys who drive, guys who drive have a story. And the thing about guys who drive, you're in Florida. Oh, think about guys who drive. The thing that's funny about them is, is there's something that went on. You know, they owned a house when they were 21 years old. They had a successful business at 28. They, you know, it's like.
1:20:54🔗
Adam
They keep talking. And there's a certain part of you that wants to go, why are you hauling my drunk ass back to the Marriott if things were going so well 20 years ago? And then it made me start thinking, oh, this could be my fate.
1:21:09🔗
Caller
I could be like, are you kidding? 18 years ago, I was bringing bands out on that venue.
1:21:29🔗
Adam
Oh, someone else played Adam Corolla. Again, we're trying to replace the pool game, Marco Polo, with Adam Corolla. I don't think of that as narcissistic, by the way.
1:21:42🔗
Caller
Not much. Just listening to the radio and I heard this kid call in saying he played Adam Corolla, but I beat him. I played it on Friday with my friends.
1:22:00🔗
Adam
Sweet. I like that. I think about the Embassy Suites is no one thinks anyone's going to sneak in to a $43 in the hotel room. They figure they're going to be down at the four-star.
1:22:10🔗
Drew
Could you imagine when you were sneaking in to the Mulholland Club that one day people be in pool, crying, calling your name out?
1:23:00🔗
Caller
No, we just walked in and we were, I mean, we were kind of scrubby looking and everything. We just walked in, they kind of stared at us, and we just went all the way upstairs and then we went into the pool and we waited for someone to come out.
1:23:57🔗
Adam
Our next call, I'm just reading it. I'm a horrible reader and not dyslexic, just stupid. It says he's a cop and I just read, I just looked at it. I was trying to make some sense, and I read A cop. Drew's like, we got to take this call. I'm like, we got to talk to an A cop. Are you high? He's a cop. It's legal to run the red arrows.
1:24:30🔗
Caller
Well, check this out. I was just curious myself, so I pulled out my vehicle code. This is California vehicle code, so it's not for the rest of the United States. If you guys want to write it down, 21453.
1:24:47🔗
Adam
Drew is frantically writing it down. I'm going to do it on a post-it so I can put it on my wallet.
1:25:07🔗
Caller
Circular red or red arrow. A driver facing a steady red arrow signal shall not enter the intersection to make the movement indicated by the arrow and unless entering the intersection to make a movement permitted by another signal, shall stop at a clearly marked limit line. But if none, before entering the crosswalk on the near side of the intersection, or if none, then before entering the intersection, shall remain stopped until an indication permitting movement is shown.
1:25:45🔗
Caller
No, negative, because if it's saying that there's an indicated indication of permitting movement shown, that would be your green light. Basically, a red arrow is to facilitate the flow of traffic during high traffic situations.
1:26:15🔗
Caller
Because it's all based on sensors. It's based on cars sitting on the sensor loops that triggers the green light to go, or the red arrow to go, or the red, you know...
1:26:28🔗
Adam
So you're saying that the indication to turn left could be the signal turning green, not the arrow turning green?
1:26:41🔗
Caller
Now, so if you've got traffic and you've got a green light with the red arrow, and you go ahead and decide you're going to make that left turn and get clobbered by a car, then they're going to say, well, you're going to say, well, I was safe to go, because I had a green light, even though there was a red arrow, therefore I thought it was safe. They're going to say, well, technically you had that red arrow, you should have waited for it to turn green to clear. But on the other hand, you know, like I said, it's to facilitate the flow of traffic.
1:27:15🔗
Drew
No, we get all that. We understand it has a purpose. It's just that it's sort of overstated. And Tim, if we get a ticket, can we, will the policeman have a California vehicle code in his car? We could say, hey, please look this up. You'll see that I was with him. Am I right?
1:27:40🔗
Caller
Yeah, they're going to interpret it. And when you are able to pull that out, it's kind of like that...
1:27:49🔗
Caller
When you see that kid who actually confronted the officer and said, hello, I had a green light and, you know, it was a red arrow, I was safe to go. I think the officer was kind of standing there with something in his hand, other than a ticket book, because he didn't have a leg to stand on.
1:28:05🔗
Adam
Well, Tim, I like the cut of your jib, by the way. A cop who's for the people. And by the way, you're calling from Placer County?
1:28:19🔗
Adam
Yeah, can't tell us which. Well, believe, do not try... Culver City. No, no. Do not transfer to Burbank, because they don't like your kind.
1:28:37🔗
Caller
And it's no fun, because you pull someone over and you want to give them the benefit of the doubt and just kind of say, hey, drive on, just don't be so stupid, and you can't do that.
1:28:48🔗
Drew
Who sets that policy? Where does that still go on? Is that a cultural thing, or is somebody, some leader setting that up? I mean, if you wanted to complain about that, where would you go?
1:28:59🔗
Adam
Yeah, who sets these mandates? Because obviously the chicken-ass cops over in Burbank are P-whipped to the point where they have to hand out chicken-ass tickets all day long.
1:29:12🔗
Caller
You know, to be honest with you, I wouldn't have the perfect answer for that, but the only thing I can imagine is like the community that I am in, the people step forward and they say, you know, not enough enforcement of this has happened and not enough enforcement of that is happening.
1:29:27🔗
Adam
Right. But do you think there's, is there a person alive that said not enough chicken ass jaywalking tickets have been handed out? Is it citizen outrage? I got a ticket and a crosswalk.
1:29:46🔗
Drew
People that come in and sort of scrub things up, you know, in sensible ways. You know, scrub up corruption, get things set up the way people want it to be set up.
1:29:56🔗
Adam
Yeah, it'd be nice. It'd be nice. And it'd be nice if the people just stood up and said, Yeah, he was a police commissioner before he was president. Roosevelt was?
1:30:10🔗
What's up?
1:30:12🔗
16.
1:30:16🔗
Caller
Okay, well, the first time I ever, well, I never actually have had anal sex, but I want to.
1:30:21🔗
Drew
Well, wait a minute. This is this Public Access Civic Pride Week. What are we talking about here? I understand.
1:30:34🔗
Adam
Go ahead. We went from the thin blue line to the fat brown line. Thanks, Drew. That's why they call me Ace.
1:31:09🔗
Drew
It hurts because it hurts and that's your body telling you not to do anything. Just relax. Come on, you're 16 years old, for God sakes. This means like you were physically abused or something, right? Somebody hit you?
1:31:27🔗
Drew
No, no, no, no, no. See, that's not how people are, no, that's not what motivates at 16.
1:32:08🔗
Caller
Um, I could, my little brother does, but I don't, I tell him I don't want to talk to him.
1:32:15🔗
Caller
Um, well, because he put, I don't know, like when me and my little brother were like smaller, he still like had contact with us. And then like his new wife or whatever didn't like my mom. So she told him that she didn't want him to have any contact with us. And then so he did it. And then after she left him, he decided to come back to us. And then he has this thing where like he tries to buy people, like five, I don't know, buy love.
1:32:40🔗
Adam
I hear people saying that, my dad, you can't buy me with that Toyota Supra and those, those box tickets that I'm like.
1:32:54🔗
Drew
All right Sheila, there's something much more going on here that you're willing to admit. Much, much more.
1:32:58🔗
Adam
Oh, please somebody, oh, what if my dad tried to buy me? Oh, it would be awesome. Even if he just tried to buy himself some junk that I could have used. All right, Sheila, I don't know, looking at everything.
1:33:13🔗
Drew
A lot going on here, more than you're willing to look at realistically, or your feelings that is.
1:34:00🔗
Adam
I'm just gonna pull Brody's and E-Bike's out in the main intercession. We're gonna take ourselves a little break. George Garcia is coming in here from Lost, and Melinda Clark in here from the OC.
1:34:30🔗
Caller
The opinions expressed in this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or the station.