0:57🔗
Voiceover
Loveline is meant for an adult audience. Loveline may contain sexually-oriented content. Listener discretion is advised. This is Loveline. With Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew.
1:29🔗
Adam
Turn that down, I'm getting a headache. Dr. Drew, adult certified physician, addiction medicine specialist, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear friend, Seth Green. In tonight, you know Seth from almost everything, and Family Guy, and Austin Powers, and all that stuff, and now from Robot Chicken, on the Adult Swim, which is Cartoon Network, which has really picked up a nice head of steam over the last few years, and especially, I would say like the last six months.
2:08🔗
Adam
Well, you know, it was just the whole, first off, you know, I don't know if it's like, you know, everyone has sort of rediscovered the Family Guy, and then everyone's into like SpongeBob, and all this stuff, like the whole thing has had a renaissance. The Simpsons were around for, you know, 15 years, and everyone was just into The Simpsons, but no one could find any other animated show they were into, and then all of a sudden, everyone's on board, and all these Pixar films going through the roof and everything, it's like, it's back, yes?
2:40🔗
Yeah, it is, and I'm just trying to cash in on the trend.
2:42🔗
Adam
Smart. Seth is not only doing voices, but he's directing, he's writing. Did you get that experience? I mean, working on Family Guy, did you see, okay, here's how it's done now? Or did it peak some interest in you?
2:58🔗
Caller
No, no, no, because I was more of an actor for hire on that show. That's kind of the way I'm...
3:07🔗
Caller
It was like a real, it was a much smaller joint, and we got canceled twice. So it wasn't this amazingly successful project like it is now. Like now it's just everybody knows about it, which is great.
3:21🔗
Adam
Yeah, there's always celebrities floating through the place and hip people playing ping pong. That's what I would do. You know what I would do if I start a business, I would just hire two hip guys to play ping pong. So it looked like a real progressive place.
3:37🔗
Adam
Yes, there you go. I would hire you. Well, no, I probably couldn't afford your day, right? But I would hire cool people. And meanwhile, I would verbally abuse and lowball all my employees. But every time someone walked in, it's like, hey, those guys.
3:59🔗
Adam
Yeah, intermittently fed. I just come in with a whip and yell Mocchnell and all that stuff. But they should look groovy and they should be that sort of, you know, X gen Xer type guys. And everyone would go, wow, what a cool hip place. Meanwhile, I'm running a sweat sweat shop. Yeah, ping pong table. Write that down, Drew.
4:16🔗
Caller
Well, it's funny, you know, you were thinking like, what's your next big plan? I think it's running a sweat shop with a ping pong table.
4:26🔗
Adam
You know, if you had a ping pong table in just about like if Abu Graib had one or if any sweat shop had one, anyone who walked in and meet would go, this checks out, come on, let's go, let's eat lunch. There's no busco in these people. So you'd have a sweat shop. There'd be 1700 Vietnamese kids being worked to the bone for a dollar a day. All you'd have to do is get two of them playing ping pong, right, the front and whoever showed up. When Bono showed up to bust some balls, he'd just be like, I guess everything's under control here. Let's go bother somebody else. That's right.
5:08🔗
Adam
It's always tough when people give you your idea quite easily. This is mine. Don't try it.
5:20🔗
Caller
Yeah, my friend Matt and I. We co-created it. And then Tom Root and Doug Goldstein, which are our head writers. And I worked with Matt in New York at Wizard Magazine. And that's it. It's like the four of us and Cory and Alex from Shadow Machine, the guys that produce it.
5:43🔗
Caller
No, no, it's all stop motion. It's all live photographed things. I mean, that's one of the things that I love about it.
5:48🔗
Oh, really? It's not really a cartoon.
5:54🔗
Caller
No, no, it's not. It's not cut out. It's actual like things we have. I mean, our show is kind of about nostalgia and sketch comedy. And we use a lot of 80s and 90s and familiar products and things that look like toys and you know what I mean? Like the old Migo toys, that style of action figure. And we pose them all and dress them all and do sketches with them.
6:16🔗
Drew
Now I'm going to think that they get flushed on the toilet periodically and things like that.
6:25🔗
Caller
All the animation takes place on our in the same place. We have a facility where we have our production offices and our all the animation stages, the the set department, the is it different? Is it difficult? It is. It's a lot of work. I've actually been going for like eight months straight without more than three days off except for Christmas, not to like boohoo about my schedule. But I'm I'm in my office every day at 7 o'clock in the morning and I leave till like 7 or 9.
7:02🔗
Caller
I love coming on here and sounding like a big whiner. I'm making a television show. My life's hard.
7:13🔗
Adam
Yeah. Yeah. It's like, oh, Anderson's out of town. I don't know who's over there. But Seth, you did it in Chris's voice. And you started by saying, Seth Green has been working. I sound like Pete Puma.
7:28🔗
Consistent lesions.
8:02🔗
Adam
You know, you just wonder, you know, you know, there there are sitcoms that are funny, but they sort of make you smile. But like Family Guy, Simpsons, some of these other shows, will make you laugh out loud.
8:31🔗
Adam
I just, I just wonder, I just wonder if there's something, I don't know, inherently more creative or easier or interesting. I mean, the jokes they can do on the family guy, you just can't do on a sitcom when the whole thing takes place in the guy's living room.
8:51🔗
Caller
Well, the animation is just a great medium to do anything. Some of the sketches that we do, it's so off the wall and you just would not be able to do it on a live action.
9:01🔗
Adam
And I think up until recently, they looked at the animation is limiting. But in a way, it's the other way around. Imagine having to write a sitcom where every single episode, 90, I mean, all in the family. It's like, what episode did you tune into that wasn't in his living room? I mean, it was a thrill if you got to go in the kitchen. Oh, no, you didn't get to go upstairs. You got to see him walk upstairs and hear the toilet flush. But I mean, you didn't even get to go up the stairs. Yeah, the toilet. It was exciting if you ever just got to go outside to like the police precinct. There's something like that. I mean, that's limiting. All right. All right. Robot Chicken, everyone, Sunday Night, 1130. Don't Swim Cartoon Network. Let's talk to Eric, who's 19. Eric? Yeah. What's up?
9:58🔗
Yeah, I have a little problem. I'm just wondering about something. Oh, I just want to say that you guys are like the awesomest people ever.
10:07🔗
Adam
Thank you. Yeah. Eric? Yeah. You're 19? Maybe not a virgin. Almost a virgin. You slept with one girl.
10:33🔗
What's going on?
10:38🔗
Adam
You hear like crackish slits. And then there's like kids 12. Banging the crap out of 11-year-olds for a year now. I mean, that's what you sound like. And this guy's 19. And sounds like Peter Brady when he sprung a pub. Eric? Okay. So you're keeping your virginity. You're saving it for marriage.
11:01🔗
Caller
Um, I want to know if, uh, if you masturbate too much, like, will you not be able to, like, cum when you're older?
11:17🔗
Adam
Yeah. It's like anything. Like, I pulled my last booger the other night. I ran out of boogers. And, you know, I had an 80-year supply. It was tough. I just, you know, everyone told me, slow down.
11:33🔗
Adam
I'd be like an Egyptian. Use a coat hanger and start pulling my brain out of my nose. No, it's finite. Most people have enough boogers to make it about 80, 85.
11:49🔗
Adam
I pulled all my boogers out. Now I'm going to be boogerless for the next 40 years. It sucks.
12:05🔗
Drew
I got to rescue him from this. He took it. He took that quite seriously. It's like, oh, man, I must be out. That's it.
12:12🔗
Drew
No, Eric, you cannot run out. And there are no, no. Your body produces this fluid, the prostate stores and the seminal vesicles and just you have to release it. All right.
12:25🔗
Adam
Yeah. Well, you're like a toothpaste container. Eventually you just get to the bottom. Right.
12:34🔗
Adam
I like it once in a while when I walk in the bathroom and I see the toothpaste thing has been broken open like what?
12:50🔗
Adam
Yeah. I've seen it. Maybe it was a roommate who did it. It's like it would tore open and rubbing it. Yeah.
13:05🔗
Drew
Oh, yeah. It's like you mean to do it for the eight weeks that you've been running out. You don't get around to it.
13:09🔗
Adam
Let me. This is a good. Let me give everyone a tip. It's been a while since I've imparted a tip. But here's what I. Here's what you don't want. Like we all can't have five cars and five baseball mitts and five mopeds. But what you can have is five tubes of toothpaste, five nail clippers, five rolls of duct tape, five everything. Just go get five of everything under five bucks and start spreading it around. Throw the clippers in your car, throw the toothpaste in your car, put one upstairs, put one downstairs. Go out, nail clippers, 99 cents. You'll spend an hour looking for them in your house. Go get ten of them. Just spread them around.
13:50🔗
Drew
That's the best thing about those giant store, the warehouse store, is that's the stuff you buy, the bathroom stuff.
13:57🔗
Adam
Just go walk down the bathroom aisle. Just go to the thrifties or save-ons. Just go walk and just start throwing it. I know you got the deodorant.
14:05🔗
Adam
Why take the one out of the medicine cabinet, put it in the travel bag when you travel and then take it out and put it back. Just go get ten of them. It's cheap. I'm literally a millionaire, but this has nothing to do with money.
14:16🔗
Drew
I adhere to that philosophy. The problem is if you're obsessive compulsive, what's the steady state number? When do you start going to the store?
14:25🔗
Adam
Oh no, you never really have to go to the store. See, now it's on your terms. Whenever you're around, go grab some clippers.
14:58🔗
Caller
That's true. I'll hire someone to purchase me a storage. Ping pong balls, like multiple items.
15:03🔗
Drew
All right, so Eric, there is a sort of an optimal zone for this. If you masturbate too little or too much, your testosterone levels can actually fall off and your sperm production will fall off a bit and your sex drive will fall off a bit. But you will still, it's different for different people, but you will still have, you know, you'll still be producing and you'll still have a drive.
15:33🔗
Adam
Okay. What I would do is I break that in. I do what I'll do is half in the morning, half in the afternoon, half in the evening. So it averages out to one and a half. No, no, it's just one and a half.
15:45🔗
Adam
It's one and a half. I, you know, yeah, no, no, Drew, you have patients that break medication, break it in half, doesn't he?
15:58🔗
Adam
Before I go to bed, coregasm and then it's a halfgasm. And then it's the trigasm. That's the three quarter. Trigasm sounds like the world's creepiest spaceship. But climb aboard the trigasm.
16:40🔗
Yes.
16:41🔗
Caller
Yes. What's up? I am a recovering heroin addict. I've been sober a little like two and a half years.
16:50🔗
Caller
Thank you. I used for about 10 years, and I wanted to know if there are any long-term effects to the brain in terms of memory functioning that heroin causes.
16:59🔗
Drew
No, not heroin. Interestingly, the reason opiates and opioids were such a remarkable advancement in medication is that they took away pain and seemed to have no adverse effect, no damaging effects on the body. And that is in fact the case. Opiates don't hurt anything. They just happen to cause the most profound form of addiction that the human can fall victim to.
17:23🔗
Drew
Yeah, it includes methadone. Yeah, that's a different thing. Slightly you're on methadone for a while too. I imagine.
17:40🔗
Drew
I'll tell you though, the ones that caused the big brain damage is hydrocarbons, so like sniffing glue and pain, that kind of thing. Yeah. Hallucinogens, LSD, ecstasy, mushrooms. Pot, we don't think causes permanent brain damage. It seems to be reversible. Alcohol causes brain damage, but you gotta drink a lot for a long time. And amphetamine is the one we're most concerned about right now because you can use moderate amounts for a few months and get significant brain damage from amphetamine.
18:22🔗
Drew
But you're a problem with your celebrating or not. So you might as well call it a celebration.
18:31🔗
Drew
That is another thing. The robot us and these these these are what are called dissociative anesthetics, like robotism, robotripping and PCP probably have some damaging effects too. Ketamine.
18:48🔗
Caller
No, no, nothing, nothing since I checked stuff out when I was younger, but kind of did what I wanted to do with it. It's like you can only go so far before it starts to feel just really destructive and kind of like you're not serving any creative purpose.
19:12🔗
Caller
That's why I like to walk around with part of myself hanging out in my underwear, in a public place. I find that just really sticking it to authority.
19:33🔗
Yeah.
19:41🔗
Caller
All right. Well, first off, I got to say, there's two shows that I really, really like and it's Loveline and Family Guy. So it's a huge, huge honor for me to talk to you guys.
19:59🔗
Adam
Now Seth says it with his tongue in his cheek, but you show me a guy who likes the Family Guy, likes the Simpsons, perhaps even this show. I'll show you guys got a couple of brain cells to rub together. I mean, do the opposite.
20:17🔗
Adam
This guy, he's a sport and is according to Jim Mugg. He got off the ABC website. You want to hang out with him? No? Okay.
20:30🔗
Adam
First off, if you could name four, I would be amazed. And especially, I bet you three of them aren't on the air.
20:44🔗
Drew
But I don't know if I could come up with the title accurately. You know what I mean? I can describe the show.
20:49🔗
Adam
Well, just don't use the N word this time. Last time he tried this, he used the N word. I really don't know what sitcom that would be either, and I remember saying to him, you think the N word would be in the title of In A Heat?
21:55🔗
Adam
If he was a pitcher, he would have told you that here's what's coming. And you just swung and missed.
22:16🔗
Adam
Yeah, but you know what? See, everyone gives you crap. Like, if you can't name a continent, everyone thinks you're an idiot, because you can't name Joey from Friends. Everyone, well, that makes you smarter. That's cool. Very convenient, but cool. You know what I mean?
22:43🔗
Caller
Okay. Authorities were on the fifth day of investigating the case of a pizza delivery man who was killed when explosives strapped to his neck. We're detonated after he robbed the bank. A 46 year old man answered a delivery.
22:58🔗
Adam
Hold on. This story is three years old. Right. The guy had like some explosive necklace on or collar on. By the way, if you put it on your neck, it's a necklace. If someone else puts it on, it's a collar.
23:38🔗
Adam
And if they passed outside of the perimeter, yeah, there was a few of them that went that way. This was on an island. And I'm going to figure this one out in a second. All right. Go ahead, Henry.
24:01🔗
Caller
Called to a mysterious address in a remote area and ended up about an hour later at a bank wearing a bomb.
24:08🔗
Caller
It was a royal spot along a main drag that runs south of the city where Granville Road leads to a television transmission tower. According to police, he entered the bank branch on Thursday, afternoon after this afternoon and produced an extensive note demanding money and said he had a bomb. As the bomb ticked, he tried in vain to convince the police who were waiting for the bomb squad to arrive, that he was forced into the crime. He died when the explosives detonated.
24:53🔗
Adam
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Yeah. It's based on me knowing the story for three years. Now, if you were to call the year from now, maybe I would have forgotten that I know the story because I was about four years old. They never really got to the bottom of this as far as I know. The guy had an explosive device on his neck. First people thought he was crazy. Right. And people thought he was trying to rob the bank, saying that somebody did this to him, which is interesting and probably the first thing you'd think of. But as they started to explore it, it did sort of seem like somebody put this on him. And his head wasn't blown off, but it somehow blew a hole in his neck or something. And he died. And he was like pleading with the... He wasn't that young. I don't know, he's in his 40s or something. But it's like pleading with the police, I didn't do this, help me. And they wouldn't get near him because they thought his head was going to be an explosive device. And so they're like standing back and the thing went off. Look into that, Michelle. Just Google head M-80 and see what you get. But I'd like to find out if they ever got to the bottom of that thing. All right, we gotta take a break. Seth Green is here tonight. You may know him from all the Awesome Powers movies and of course the Family Guy. And now you know him from Robot Chicken. Sunday night on the Cartoon Network's Adult Swim.
26:23🔗
Adam
Wow, she found already. 11.30. We gotta take a break. Don't do anything yet. But I want to hear if they got to the bottom of this when we come back. All right, after this.
27:00🔗
Adam
There, buddy, it's Loveline. I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-L-A-V-E-1-9-1 or Seth Green in tonight.
27:13🔗
Adam
Joint, yeah. Adult Swim is what it's on, 11.30 Sunday night. New Family Guy coming out on May 1st. I got myself a ticket today.
27:29🔗
Drew
Okay, first, Dr. Drew Loveline, listeners, at all next week we'll be giving away iPod Shuffles. At the beginning of each show, you'll be able to get the details and what to listen for to learn how to win, okay? The other thing, one of the bits of business is that, remember Seth, last time you were in here, we were doing a test that drove Adam crazy?
27:46🔗
Drew
I was doing tests on everyone that came in the show, personality profiles, sort of inventories for attachment issues and substance use and narcissism.
27:56🔗
Drew
And he did pretty well, actually. But we used as our controls a group at USC for Professor Simmons, Professor Arnold's classes, and we want to thank them for participating in the survey.
28:13🔗
Adam
Right. Remember how many times we had to talk about the guest being in the test? We finally got it.
28:20🔗
Adam
Drew and I used to get these huge blowouts because Drew would give the guest the test and the test was four pages and the guest would take it during the commercial and then into the show. So the guest would just, the show would start and the guest would just be leaned back away from the mic reading this test and checking off boxes and stuff. So eventually, because this is an actual radio show we do, eventually I said, hey, Drew, we can't have the guest doing the test during the actual show because they just, they fade, fade out and they start working on the test. So as I would say to Drew, Drew, you got to tell him when the, you know, when we come back from commercial, they got to put the test down. So after about the eighth time I yelled at him, he told him, but then every time they would still be working out when we'd come back and I would just sit there and pout. And I would look at Drew and Drew would be like, what? And I'd be like, Drew, the person still taking the test and Drew would go, I did not see that. I didn't see it. And I'd say, but they're two feet away from you and they're holding a pencil and he'd go, what do you want me to say? I didn't see him do it. And I would yell, you didn't want to see it physically. You saw them.
29:27🔗
Adam
Yeah. And then he would go, I am telling you, I did not physically see it. And then I would yell, give me the keys to your car because you can't drive home. If you can't goddamn see someone two feet away doing a test and you can't see past the hood of your car.
29:41🔗
Adam
Oh, all right. I'm fired up. I got a ticket today, driving into work. I remember other work. I was driving into work and I saw a traffic cop, a motorcycle cop had a guy pulled over on Vine in Hollywood. And I thought, sucker. The first thing I thought and the second thing I went through my mind was motorcycle cop pulls you over, you're getting a ticket. No matter what, all those guys do is right. It's a ticket-writing party. That's all they do. If you get pulled over, now you might get pulled over by a cruiser once in a while, and the guy might say, okay, take it easy, I'm going to let you off.
30:19🔗
Adam
Well, because the guys on the bikes just write tickets. So if you get pulled over by someone who just writes tickets, you're just going to get a ticket. So I remember just saying, I don't want this poor son of a bitch got pulled over.
30:36🔗
Adam
You get pulled over by a motorcycle, you get a ticket. So just thinking about this guy, when I looked up into my rear view and I saw the lights flickering, another motorcycle, I thought this is a bad sign because I just made the proclamation in my head, motorcycle cop pulls you over, you get a ticket. But then I thought to myself, what? I wasn't doing anything. I was just driving behind the guy, no intersection, no nothing. And I thought, I wonder what this could be? Because what the hell?
31:09🔗
Adam
Okay. But obviously another cop out there on a bike, I don't think it was the same guy because he was writing a ticket. And I thought, well, why is this guy pulling me over? I wasn't even doing anything. I was just sort of stuck in traffic a little bit. And I thought, huh, all right, well, let's hear this. This ought to be good. What were you driving? I was driving a Z car. And no front license plate. That's the thing. Pulling you over for no front license plate.
31:36🔗
Adam
I'm still with that one, by the way. But I understand the sort of fix-it ticket when you're parked in the municipal parking lot and you get the extra box checked on the thing that says you got no pulling people over for no front goddamn license plate.
31:59🔗
Adam
Most people who get tickets for no front license plate get it because they're at the meter and or they're in the parking lot and they come up their car and they go, What? I put change in the meter. Why is there a ticket on my car? No front license plate or illegal tent or whatever. I mean, they basically that's just they just after the course. Yeah, they just that's that's the rape continues even after even after death. You ascend to heaven. Yeah, that's it. You park the car and they're still making money off you.
32:36🔗
Adam
But we don't have enough cops, Drew. We don't we don't have enough cops. We don't have enough cops.
32:43🔗
Adam
No, I first off, I he the guy seemed to feel guilty because he knew it was a chicken ass, whatever. And I had I didn't even know what he was doing until he handed me the thing.
32:54🔗
Adam
I just want to see the license. He want to go take a walk. And then he went back and did his thing. But I just thought, A, this guy's going to die because he's going to get clipped by a car when he's walking around to the driver side of my car, when it's parked on like, Cahuanga and there's traffic whizzing by. He's going to he's going to buy it this way, riding a chicken ass ticket, or I'm going to get broadsided or something. And then I thought, really? This is this is our resources. That's it. Give the taxpayers a sort of harass the taxpayers. That's all we've come up with. That's that's what we've evolved into as a society. Never, never enough guys. ABC News is just dragging the spent uranium right through downtown LA in a cargo container. We don't have enough guys for that. We got plenty of guys for the chicken ass. That we seem to have an unlimited amount of manpower for. The parking enforcement. Yeah. And the chicken ass. You're pulling people over. I'm just going to go get the thing. I'm just going to do. And then, you know, they do this thing where they're like, yeah, it's only $15. Yeah, it's $15.
34:01🔗
Adam
And half a day. As I go see your Marshall buddy down in Van Nuys and get the thing signed off on.
34:20🔗
Adam
It's a half a day. Yeah. Well, that's the half a day. That's not the part we got to put the plate on and go do the thing.
34:26🔗
Drew
And by the way, if you're a sole proprietor where your labor determines, pays the overhead also, you just multiply.
34:33🔗
Adam
Now, look, I'm going to have to sell my house. There's no two ways about it. Or, you know, I'm just going to go to Mexico.
34:42🔗
Adam
The house? Yeah. I just, just enough to get a couple of cheap metal screws. I need the $15. I need the screws to get the license plate.
34:59🔗
Adam
Absolutely. And I would just like, here's all I would like. I would like society to join me in my outrage. Here's what I want.
35:15🔗
Adam
Yeah. Rosa Parks. There was a law. Hey, black folks can't ride in the front of the bus. But she said, no, is that wrong? Get in the back? What are you saying? Which is it? It's against the law. Oh, the law's not right. Oh, the law's not right. That's it. Just everybody, let's just step it up.
35:34🔗
Drew
Don't even take a moral high ground that the law's not right. Just the law's not the one we want.
35:40🔗
Adam
Stop with the chicken ass. Here's the thing, cops. Here's cops. Here's what your job is to do. And I know they always hate this. I hate, they must hate when I yell this at them. But your job is to do what we want you to do. Not pursue your chicken ass pursuits. Your job is to do what we tell you to do. We're the society that you're protecting. Don't protect me from my bumper, you a-holes. Protect me from the guys carjacking me, not from the goddamn bumper of my car.
36:11🔗
Adam
Why do you need a front license plate so you can get tickets when you drive through the intersections that they put cameras in?
36:19🔗
Adam
That's why you need a front license plate because you don't have a front license plate. You can't get tickets for that.
36:24🔗
Caller
It came into effect in 2000 because I have a whole website about it and there's also a lot of websites about petitions trying to go against it.
36:30🔗
Adam
Could everybody, here's the utopia I want to live in. I want to live in a utopia where everyone walks out to their car tomorrow morning Why can't they just take a picture of the back of your car? I don't know how it works from a technological standpoint. Well when they take a picture of the back of your car, somehow the way the camera is mounted and the way it works or maybe you're already through the intersection or however it is, they take that picture of the front of your car. I guess they want to identify you.
36:57🔗
Drew
Well it gets triggered as you violate the law. As you come into the intersections when it triggers the... Right. It's more simplistic.
37:07🔗
Caller
But they've got the box on the corner. You know what I mean? In front of you, it gets you as you go through. Why couldn't they just put it on the box?
37:12🔗
Adam
I'm telling you, I've driven through it with no front license plate. I didn't get a ticket in the mail. Kiss my ass, you pussies, by the way. But number two, I would love to live in a society where everyone just went out and took their front license plates off and threw them away and we just went forward. Nobody had one. And there wasn't enough cops to enforce this chicken-ass rule. But it just... I'll be the first to do it. Now I'm the guy who drives through all the left turn arrows, everybody. When that arrow turns red, I don't ignore it. I keep going. Could you please join me in this? Could everyone just drive through those? How about everyone takes off the license? I don't have a car that has a front license plate. Soon as I go down to Van Nuys and appease these $8 an hour tards, it's coming right back off again. I could have a rat's hiney how many goddamn tickets I get. I don't care. It's fine. Let's just do it. Let's just everyone do it. Drew, you have a front license plate? No. Good. Seth?
38:21🔗
Caller
I haven't needed. I haven't had any need for a car. Yeah. Literally I've been in this office for like eight months.
38:28🔗
Caller
No. Seven in the morning till like eight at night. I carpool to work every day, so it's not a big deal.
38:33🔗
Caller
No, my cousin moved to LA and I gave it to him. Wow. And I had planned on buying a new one, but I just got really busy.
38:41🔗
Drew
He's angry A, because you don't have a car, B, because you have a family member that shares things.
38:54🔗
Adam
No, now I'm angry because you're one of those actor guys that makes good money and doesn't like cars.
39:01🔗
Caller
Don't make you even angrier. I bought it in 97 new. Oh, and I just gave it away like eight months ago.
39:08🔗
Adam
Now I'm going to get livid in a second when you tell me you don't know if it's a four cylinder V6.
39:21🔗
Adam
You just gave your cousin your car. You don't have a car. You think you're a New York son? Is that what you think you are, son?
39:28🔗
Adam
You think you're going to hop in the subway or crash out one of your faggity friends in Soho? Because that's not going to happen.
39:46🔗
Adam
Did you tell, he's like Omega Man. He's just chained up at work. You tell your cousin he needs to take that front license plate off for the ace man.
40:03🔗
Adam
Well, you know, yeah, he's a rebel because he couldn't afford a car. Guys that can't afford cars, they don't like Johnny Law. That's the whole thing.
40:13🔗
Adam
All right. Anyway, I'm just telling Johnny Law to kiss my ass. And here's all I'm saying to Johnny Law. Could you guys please ring an ounce of dignity? I mean, when you go home and you turn on the television and you watch the 80 or so cop based shows, any of them handing out chicken ass tickets? Because that's you. You see, understand, you do the kind of law enforcement that we can't make TV shows about because they're too boring and mundane and embarrassing.
40:45🔗
Adam
Oh, if it took place out here, it'd be all about jaywalking tickets and no front light. Yeah, it'd be very controversial.
40:51🔗
Adam
Do you realize that tent's a little dark on that rear window, man? Yeah, yeah, that's a violation. And I also see that your tabs have expired on your license plate. You think there's ever been a cop show that's ever addressed that?
41:04🔗
Drew
I'm just taking a family guy, if death or the devil shows up again, that's how he should show up.
41:16🔗
Adam
I'm just saying, if there's cops listening to the show and we know they are, please make a vow. Remember when you signed up to the Academy and you thought you'd be rappelling down buildings and growing Fu Manchus and going into deep undercover? Instead, you're handing out chicken ass tickets for nothing? Don't be that guy. Go Serpico. Don't go Pusico. You understand? All right. Do we take any calls, Drew?
41:45🔗
Adam
No, we're out of time. You should have never given me that ticket. Seth Green is here tonight. Well, you had to do that big iPod shuffle commercial.
41:55🔗
Adam
That's what I'm saying. All right. Take a quick break. Be right back after this. Yeah, everybody.
42:20🔗
Adam
Gotta get it on. No choice, but to get it on. It's Loveline, Adam. That's Drew, Seth Green. Always a breath of fresh air in studio tonight. Robot Chicken, name of his new show on the Cartoon Network, 11.30 Sunday nights. Little something we like to call adult swim. Yes, Drew, how you doing? Nothing. All right. Can we please take some calls?
42:49🔗
Adam
Well, you did, you know, you said you did 12 seconds with the iPod Shuffle on airspot. I checked the tape. It was more like 14 or 15.
43:10🔗
Adam
Yeah. But in a conversational voice, that's more like 11. But here's the point. I don't want to argue. All I want to say is the show is about the callers, okay? And it's about taking calls.
43:37🔗
Adam
You think you're the boss of me? I don't think you are. What do you think of this? We're taking a call. Sabrina?
43:42🔗
Yeah.
43:46🔗
Adam
You see, Drew tries to pull that psychology crap on me, but it doesn't work. He tells me, he tries to control me and tell me, we're not taking calls. Well, guess what? We're taking a call. Okay? You don't understand that I know how the human brain works, and I can tell when you're trying to manipulate me. And when you're trying to manipulate me, I see right through you like a cheap wax paper, dude, and you try to manipulate me, and that's when we go take some calls.
44:31🔗
Adam
Willie wants me to not get to the bottom of the problems. We're going to get to the bottom of the problems. Go ahead, Sabrina.
44:37🔗
Caller
Um, well, I had a question. Me and my boyfriend, my boyfriend's 19. Um, I was just wondering about having like a one-way open relationship, you know, because, because we settled down so young. Um, like he has a lot of curiosity about what it would be like to be with other women besides me.
45:16🔗
Adam
Oh, okay. And, uh, yeah, first off, it's really weird because it's not like any, like, chicks are all that different. It's just you need to find that out, that there is no real difference by effing a bunch of them.
45:28🔗
Drew
But guys have an urge for diversity and they have to grow up and they have to get this out of their system, and women do too to some extent.
45:35🔗
Drew
And you have to find out who you are in relationships, and the way you do that is by having relationships.
45:39🔗
Adam
But the part where you get to give somebody the nod to go out and cheat for a while, or it's not cheating if he tells you about it.
46:03🔗
Caller
It's like, okay, there's this book by this one lady. She had an open relationship with her husband, and she let her husband go out and-
46:21🔗
Adam
Well, and let me tell you about these a-holes that write these books. First off, anyone can- I've written a book for the love of Christ. I can barely spell. Number one. Number two, we've had some of these people in here, these a-holes with their- it's a two-hour orgasm and all this kind of stuff. As soon as you scratch beneath the surface, there's nothing there. So I know to you who's 18, hey, there's a book published on. These are sick, screwed up people, just giving erroneous advice.
46:48🔗
Drew
Who can't have intimacy, who don't know what stable relationships are about, who are disturbed. And they're by the way already broken up by now.
47:04🔗
Caller
Here it is. Bottom line, it sucks being single today. Tons of lame people and no decent prospect. Call the Dateline. Call the Dateline.
47:57🔗
Adam
On the Adult Swim, 1130 Sunday nights. We were just listening to another cartoon theme song before we came back out of break here. And everyone always remembers the, you know, the Flintstones and the Jetsons and these kinds of things. But Johnny Quest. Johnny Quest, no theme, but big production.
48:21🔗
Adam
Yeah, but this was weird because it was sort of eclectic. It didn't even really, you know, you know, it didn't have much of a theme to it.
48:41🔗
Adam
Big Tom Tom's going. I'm gonna turn it up. It's weird, because it's so all over the place, you never really think about it.
49:31🔗
Okay, all right.
49:36🔗
Adam
Yeah. Always unclear on Johnny Quest with the two guys. Like there's two good looking dudes are just sort of shacked up in a tent.
49:50🔗
Adam
And you know, see, Johnny Quest was a great cartoon because it must have been done in like the mid sixties, maybe the early sixties. We weren't exactly sure who we hated. Like the well, the Japanese and we'd made up that that's like that's yesterday's news, you know. The whole Cold War thing hasn't really kicked into gear yet. There's a little bit of it, but we're not sure.
50:16🔗
Adam
Not sure where the Middle East is. There's a little Vietnam going on. Korea was more of a skirmish and it was a war. So what they did was they just covered all their bases, right? So every villain was like kind of part German, part Russian and part Vietnamese.
50:36🔗
Adam
Little Pink Panther. Now the thing is, here's what it is. Make their skin a little bit brown and F up their teeth.
51:04🔗
Adam
Yeah, see, it's gotta suck when you're making a cartoon in the sort of the in-between years, you know? Like, you're making a cartoon in the early 40s, it's a layup, everyone's a Nazi.
51:40🔗
Caller
Sorry, guys. Long time listener, first time caller. Seth Green, you're awesome. I've seen all your movies, man. You're cool.
52:14🔗
Caller
Um, you know, I've had this problem since I was about 15 that when I sometimes when I mean most of the time when I fantasize, it's about like cross dressers or transvestites or something like that.
52:28🔗
Caller
And then afterwards, though, you know, I think about what I just did and I think it's disgusting. But yeah, doing it.
52:56🔗
Drew
You say, so you look them up on the internet and you're seeing female to male, male to female?
53:12🔗
Caller
Not really. I mean, it just, it gets kind of, it's kind of gross. I mean, after I get done, I'm like, that's disgusting, but I just can't stop.
53:29🔗
Adam
No, it's, they have an unlimited capacity for that. Whereas women, they do something once, they're disgusted for a hundred years.
53:43🔗
Adam
So here's the thing. There's two, there's two sort of approaches to sexuality for men. One is what turn, well, obviously, what turns you on is universal. But are you are you into sex or are you into the sort of deviant thing? Like there's a whole part where it's like you're the person's being humiliated or degraded in some way. It's disgusting. It's dirty. It's weird.
54:15🔗
Caller
No. I think when I was like 17 or 19 and just kind of figuring myself out, I would put myself in situations that were probably, that were very unhealthy, you know, subconsciously, but intentionally. Do you know what I mean? Like create scenarios in which I could do things that were bad for me and then criticize myself for them. But eventually I just got out of that.
54:39🔗
Caller
You know, dating somebody that I didn't like, somebody that I knew was not good for me.
54:44🔗
Drew
But that's a danger thing. People will do sort of as a way of just exploring boundaries, looking at dangerous situations and things.
54:52🔗
Drew
That's different than doing something that you find that sort of disgusts you and you participate in. You go, oh, I'm disgusting, but that that arouses me.
55:04🔗
Adam
I was going to say, he's got GI. Joe hair tonight, too, by the way. Not GI. Joe, but one of his friends.
55:10🔗
Adam
Joe, I always have a friend that had hair like Seth. I want to rub it for the night's show.
55:16🔗
Caller
But that would totally gross me out, Adam. Yeah, even though I would find it incredibly arousing.
55:21🔗
Adam
Yeah. Hey, dude. First off, this guy's fagging off with himself, Nick. So I don't know. Like, I don't check out other dudes. I always like the dude who can't comment on other guys. That guy's a guy from Lost. Lead guy's a nice looking guy. I don't know, dude. I can't judge dudes. I couldn't tell the difference between him and James Coco or something. No, dude. I don't know.
55:53🔗
Adam
So you just like that part where you're sort of a dark underbelly sexuality thing, where you just like, it's got to be a little deviant, it's got to be a little dirty?
56:04🔗
Caller
You know, it's, I mean, like, you know, like you were just saying, like, I can judge other guys. It doesn't bother me. I mean...
56:12🔗
Drew
But you know, why doesn't he go into the mudslides and why does he go this way? Did you receive any messages about your sexual identity growing up that were confusing or were you sexually abused?
56:21🔗
Caller
Yeah. I thought I was, you know, I thought I could, you know, swing both ways, but, you know, I've never done anything with a guy at all.
56:33🔗
Caller
You know, I just, somebody suggested that, you know, because, you know, sometimes I'm very, very sensitive about comments, like, I mean, it could be very simple, simple comments and I'd get very upset and I would think about it, that one comment for months, like somebody says, you know, hey, man, you're stupid. I mean, I mean, it would get really, you know, bad.
56:59🔗
Caller
No, no, no, no, no, no, no. What I'm saying is like, I got very sensitive and like people would be like, dude, are you gay? You know?
57:07🔗
Caller
I was just, cause you know, normal guys, I think can just, yeah, whatever, I don't care.
57:12🔗
Drew
So here, Nick, to me, this all means that you grew up in a system, the fact that you don't know what you are or are not, you can't, don't have a real sense of yourself. And when somebody says something about you that's negative, you take that on and it just collapses into shame, suggest that you grew up in a family system which was sort of porous, where you were sort of exploited and treated badly, and nobody really gave you what you needed as a separate person. Is that right?
57:37🔗
Caller
Yeah, you know, they, you know, I mean, it's not like I'm going to cry about being abused or anything as I wasn't, but you know, I just, I always just did everything else for everybody else. And I just, you know, I never really got anything in return, never asked for anything.
58:04🔗
Drew
The effects are, yeah. No, I'm sure you're right. But this, what you need, you're like a couple years away from feeling okay. You need like a project. You need to be a part, you're somebody that could easily fall victim to like a Mooney type thing, to some sort of cult. You gotta be really careful. Have you ever been drawn into that kind of thing?
58:22🔗
Drew
Okay, don't go near any of that kind of thing. But you need to be a part of, you could be like a great Marine. Nick, yeah. You're part of a team, you build each other up, support one another, and you find yourself in that process.
58:32🔗
Adam
Hey Nick, you need to, you know, you need to listen to classical music and start exercising.
58:43🔗
Drew
Find a project. Find a project with a group of people that you can do something that you've got to be good at.
58:49🔗
Adam
That brings us to an interesting point, which is part of society, you know, large portion of society is, you know, sort of all in the right track, they're college bound or whatever. The other part is sort of unsavable. And then there's this huge section in the middle that could be swayed one direction or the next. You get those people involved with some sort of sport or something, some sort of team, some sort of, you know, they need some guy walking in, waking them up at six in the morning. They don't need time alone. The devil makes work for idle hands. He doesn't need any more computer time and he doesn't need any cult time. He needs he needs he needs a gig that's like a Job Corps kind of thing. All right, we have a question for Seth, by the way. Aaron?
59:49🔗
Caller
Is your movie Airborne ever going to come out on DVD? My family and I love to watch it whenever it's on cable.
59:56🔗
Caller
That's so funny. Thank you. Yeah, I was just talking about that with somebody else. You know what? I don't know. I don't know if there's a lot of demand for it to be on DVD. I don't really know how things get to DVD, but thanks for liking it, man.
1:00:19🔗
Caller
You know what's so funny? It's me and Jack Black is in it, and a kid named Jacob Vargas who was in traffic.
1:00:28🔗
Caller
It was the story. It was me and this kid, Shane McDermott, and he was a kid from Cincinnati. And no, he was a kid from Los Angeles, so I had to spend months and months in Cincinnati with his dorky cousin because his parents were going away to South Africa or something like that. And I was the dorky cousin. And over the course of staying in this small town, he wooed the town bullies sister and became a hockey and rollerblading champion to all. It's a funny story, but it was really well directed.
1:01:01🔗
Caller
Yeah, it came out, but it came out the week that kids went back to school and it had an awful ad campaign where the poster was basically a kid on rollerblades hugging a girl against a blue sky backdrop as if he was like flying on rollerblades. It was a terrible, terrible ad campaign.
1:01:24🔗
Caller
I like how all of Team Rollerblade was in it and the champions and like the world champion was in it and did a bunch of crazy stunts.
1:01:31🔗
Adam
You know, it's weird. I know we're waxing nostalgic tonight, but, you know, there's so many movies. There's so many. And Drew, when you were a kid, there were 20 movies that had been released prior to the advent of the projector and you being born. Correct. And now, and, you know, four of them were talkies. But the point is, is there's so many movies now. Like, it used to be, if somebody brought up a movie, it'd be like, yep, that was in the theater. I remember when that was in the theater. And then they bring up another movie and it's like, yep, that was the year before that one was in the theater. Now, you know, one-tenth of one percent of all the stuff.
1:02:11🔗
Drew
And you have to, was that an indie film? Was that a limited release? Was that everywhere? Is that just on DVD? Is it just on DirectTV? You know what I mean? Right. There's all kinds of releases.
1:02:20🔗
Adam
Yeah, it's weird. It just keeps going and going. You know, once in a while, when I get heavy and I get freaky, you know, I just think about the fact that first off, there's nothing that's ever going to happen. That's not really going to be chronicled anymore. I mean, there's no, you know, for Christ's sake, they flew a plane in the World Trade Center and there's plenty of footage of it. You know what I mean? I mean, just think about that. There's a camera somewhere, sometime. There's no president's going to be shot. No bridge is going to collapse. No earth. There's going to be footage of everybody and everyone who comes onto this planet from now on. It's just, there's going to be a dossier.
1:03:08🔗
Yeah, yeah.
1:03:09🔗
Adam
Yeah, I mean, it was exciting just to see you running on like eight millimeter film or something, wasn't it?
1:03:26🔗
Adam
Yeah. Come out, watch me play little league baseball and let's do it with a flip book. Here's, sweetie, this is you striking out. Let's see it again. Jeff?
1:03:38🔗
Hey.
1:03:42🔗
Caller
I am a compulsive masturbator. I'm 25 years old and I've never ever had any interest in women. And I'm perfectly fine with that because it allows me to concentrate on my career, you know, and things like that.
1:04:16🔗
Caller
I work for a company that does advertising work. We get hired by all kinds of different companies.
1:04:48🔗
Drew
Well, it's not normal to not have a relationship with other people. And the kinds of people that do that tend to go in that sort of schizoid direction. That's what I was asking.
1:04:57🔗
Caller
I kind of see it as a blessing in some ways because it allows me to focus, you know...
1:05:00🔗
Adam
Yeah. No, it'd be awesome. You know, it'd be better if you were dead. You wouldn't have to folk, you wouldn't have to worry about work slowing you down and the eating.
1:05:07🔗
Drew
The people that don't have relationships don't not do it because they don't find it pleasurable. They don't have relationships because relationships are a problem. And those people actually, they tend to have relationship with animals and things because they don't see a difference between... I'm just telling you, that's where it can go.
1:05:28🔗
Drew
It can go that direction because the people that have that kind of difficulty experiencing other people don't see a big difference between animals and people. And so, the animal is less hassle. So, they're just like you're, well, it works better than without a relationship. So, check that off my list. Or, hey, relationship with the animal, it's easier. They don't talk back to you. So, let's not do it with a dog. That's fine.
1:05:46🔗
Adam
All right, Drew, please. You're doing the animal math here. It's very insulting, the young chef.
1:05:52🔗
Drew
No, I'm just saying where it can go and why it's such a sort of BS, you know, bruise to say, well, it's such a convenience for my career. It's like, well, yeah, okay, it is, but there's an issue here.
1:06:02🔗
Caller
Because at this point in my life, you know, I'm starting to get older, my friends are getting into more serious relationships, they're getting married, they're having kids, and I'm kind of getting left behind. You know, I don't have anybody, all the people that I've hung out with all my life, they're all starting, you know, these different new lives with their families. So I'm wondering if there's something that I can do, if maybe I have some kind of hormone imbalance, you know, something like that.
1:06:24🔗
Adam
Well, let's see if we can break this down. First off, maybe does have a little testosterone problem.
1:06:28🔗
Drew
Well, I was just thinking, maybe I shouldn't jump so quickly at that. But he has a, how often do you masturbate?
1:06:55🔗
Adam
OK. So, Jeff, the part that troubles me about the whole story is the part where when you what do you think about when you're masturbating, you say nothing. That I find troubling. But I mean, with the abundance of porn.
1:07:07🔗
Caller
Yeah, but I understand that mentality. I mean, if you look at animals in the zoo that just kind of masturbate themselves, they're not you don't imagine that they're fantasizing about other manatees, you know?
1:07:22🔗
Caller
But don't you think there's somebody that's said for just like a base, a very just like base physical gratification that's not rooted in any kind of mental...
1:07:29🔗
Drew
Yes, there is such a thing, but somebody that does that five times a day without without any registration of it attaching, having association with other people, that's a disconnect.
1:07:45🔗
Adam
Can't. It could possibly bend its back flipper up and get to a junk. Yeah, but it's manatee and walrus.
1:08:04🔗
Adam
That's the whole thing. The mountain has to come to Mohammed. Yeah, so I think of them as having my penis and trying to mask it.
1:08:12🔗
Adam
They're going to work. I didn't think about the telescoping penis that actually comes up to the flippers.
1:08:36🔗
Drew
It didn't fit. That was the point. You know, he was trying to make an issue and he sounded like somebody who could actually have a conversation. It didn't give you that cold, empty feeling that somebody who actually goes that way makes you feel. Somebody who actually goes towards zoophilia and that stuff, you feel like it's kind of spooky to talk to them.
1:09:01🔗
Adam
It was just we never get that call. It was just sort of off the beaten path, pardon the pun, enough to make it interesting. Yeah.
1:09:14🔗
Adam
He did do the, oh, Drew. I'm kind of mad that you can't come to me. You know what I'm saying?
1:09:31🔗
Adam
I know, but you know how it makes me feel night after night to have guys like, oh, Drew, yeah. And it's like when I'm a chopped liver over here. What's that?
1:09:39🔗
Caller
It'll make you feel good, Adam. I called up, my name is really Eric, not Jeff. Jeff, my buddy here. I'm making fun of him. I called up a couple of months ago and I imitated you for about 20 minutes on the air.
1:09:50🔗
I don't know if you remember that.
1:10:24🔗
Adam
Well, because he has a short list to go off of. But let me just get Jeff back. Maybe he can take a call with us. Jeff?
1:10:47🔗
Drew
No, because you told us this. You gave us a whole story about that last time. Last time? Or this time? Yeah, whatever.
1:10:53🔗
Adam
All right, stop talking to our callers. Go ahead, go ahead, Eric. Do you have any atomisms?
1:11:03🔗
Adam
By the way, I'm picturing him like with this, like a three ring binder. Okay, let's see. Stern, Mancow, Mancow, Stern, John and Jeff.
1:11:17🔗
What do we, what do we, what do we got?
1:11:24🔗
Caller
Hey there, Dr. Drew. Hold on, let me check the weather. Palo Alto, checking in at 71 degrees. Boy, I tell you, I was sitting at the three way stop today and this old brat is just sitting here and just says, shake your ass, blah, blah, blah. Drew's ass is a radio map. I got four feet and through seven three sixteenth inches. Hold on now. Gee, Thunder Cloud wants to say something. None of it. Touching the water. Hold on, gotta check traffic. 405, three way backed up. Watch the brake lights. Mattress in lane. You know, I used to clean carpet. Lived with my good friend Louise. You know, and I'm literally a millionaire. You know, literally, literally, Drew, literally a millionaire. I should have my own garbage man. You know, blah, blah, blah, blah. You got these Culver City cops in there. Right hand drive chevettes. Right in chicken ass tickets. Blah, blah, blah. Not enough, man.
1:12:03🔗
Holocaust.
1:12:07🔗
Adam
That's solid. But now, I mean, that's, you know, that's, that's a nine plus. Actually, I would go so far as to say uncanny. But here's what, here's what.
1:12:23🔗
Adam
I know. Eric, here's what I would like. I would like the straighter, more subdued Adam to handle a call.
1:12:35🔗
Caller
I don't think I could do it nearly as well as you, but I will give it my best effort.
1:12:42🔗
Adam
I don't know if I like Eric enough to actually bring him through a break. Here's the thing about Eric. Eric is, well first off, most guys that do impersonations are A-holes. I don't know what that is. I don't know how those two genes seem to be nurtured together, but Eric is an A-hole. There's no doubt about it, but in a sort of wise ass way. There's A-hole that breaks a beer bottle over you and then there's wise ass A-hole.
1:13:18🔗
Adam
Not bad guys, just annoying guys. And they don't really realize their level of pain in the assitude, you know what I mean? And they don't realize why they're not getting laid like they should and they don't realize why they're not going ahead in their job like they should. But ultimately a little too annoying to bring back.
1:13:41🔗
Adam
Let's see if I feel a lot benevolent when we return. Seth Green in studio tonight, Robot Chicken, and we'll be right back after this.
1:13:58🔗
Caller
Loveline is brought to you by Playboy. Why put Paris Hilton and the 25 Sexiest Stars in the same issue, along with our annual music poll and Debbie Gibson's pictorial? After three months of winter, we figured you could use some thawing out. March Playboy on Newsstands now.
1:14:12🔗
Adam
Hey, who's engineering this show? Dave, give the countdown, please. The hey, man. That didn't work. That didn't work. You're mumbling into a can with a piece of yarn on it. Doesn't let me know when the show starts.
1:14:56🔗
Adam
Are you kidding? You can barely tell us when the show starts. All right. Seth Green in the studio tonight, Robot Chicken, name of his new show on the Cartoon Network, which is, I don't know, I've not seen any ratings or trends or anything, but it seems like they have really been gaining momentum over the past year.
1:15:24🔗
Caller
Yeah, we won our time slot. Really? Yeah, it was the highest rated adult swim debut. In our history. Yeah, it was awesome.
1:15:32🔗
Adam
Adult swim or maybe cartoon, I mean, adult swim just wasn't on the radar a year ago for a lot of people and now it's appointment fuel.
1:15:43🔗
Caller
It's this kind of obscure subversive TV, but it happens to a lot of people connect to it. It's just they don't have a tremendous amount of money in advertising to get the word out.
1:15:55🔗
Caller
But it gets passed around between people too. They're like, oh, you should see this. I think it's up your alley.
1:16:06🔗
Caller
But then literally the whole block of program was literally Turner Broadcasting saying, we've got this late night dumping ground and they gave it to this guy, Mike Lazo, and said, do you guys want to do anything with it? And they just started this whole kind of crazy.
1:16:28🔗
Adam
Yeah, the guy who's out of Space Ghost is in Atlanta, as I recall. All right. You ready to go here?
1:16:48🔗
Caller
Yeah. I've been listening to you guys for over five years. You guys have an uncanny instinct for getting everything just dead on. However, I am very much not an a-hole. I'm doing very well at my job, and I know exactly why I'm not getting laid, and it's because I'm married.
1:17:15🔗
Caller
It wasn't a far stretch from the truth, but yeah, I've called you before and we've talked.
1:17:23🔗
Adam
All right. Drew, come on. Let's just do it. What do we care? How do we do the two things at once?
1:17:46🔗
Caller
I was wondering, a couple of months ago, I was diagnosed with herpes. I'm pretty much just wondering, at what point do I have to tell a guy about this?
1:18:08🔗
Caller
A couple of months ago. Now, Drew, correct me if I'm wrong, but herpes cannot be cured at all, right? You can pass it on for the rest of your life.
1:18:29🔗
Drew
But she's saying, at what point in the relationship does she need to bring this up? The first date or when the clothes are off?
1:18:36🔗
Caller
Well, I see no point in it really until the relationship gets to the point where you're going to have some, you know, physical intimacy.
1:18:45🔗
Caller
Drew, do you mind? Do you let the man with the cash register make some money here? Come on, buddy.
1:19:02🔗
Caller
Passionate, a little bit stately, but you're right, more passionate. There's no point in divulging all these things about yourself. If you're just on the first, second date, whatever, you know, what's that?
1:19:20🔗
Caller
You don't want to give too much up. You want to leave a little bit to the imagination. That's not a very good thing to leave to the imagination, but there's no point in scaring them off right away. Let me ask you, do you have any kids?
1:19:59🔗
Oh, all right.
1:20:28🔗
Drew
Thank you. So Kelly, this is something obviously you know you can pass on and when you first couple years you get it, the outbreaks tend to be more frequent, there tends to be more virus production, you tend to be more contagious. As you go along, there can be very infrequent outbreaks and you can be less less contagious. Still though, you should continue fastidiously using a condom because it is something you could potentially always pass on. There are ways to reduce the viral shedding or the viral production by taking medication, particularly when you feel an outbreak coming along, but in terms of what the, what, go ahead, go ahead, the thing that kind of really freaks me out though is that I got it when I was using a condom. Yeah, it's not a perfect barrier, you can get it with condoms, you sure can.
1:21:08🔗
Drew
Basically, if you're, if he was having an outbreak with the condom on, you're going to get it. You are, yeah, you can't, nothing really, there's so much virus around when you're having an outbreak.
1:21:21🔗
Caller
I don't know, I just am worried that this is going to freak any guy out pretty much for the rest of my life.
1:21:26🔗
Drew
No, it's pretty common, and it's something that a guy, if he's really into you, will kind of figure out how to deal with. And you got to sort of become more proficient with how to manage it yourself to reduce the risk, in terms of treating it when there are outbreaks and realizing what the symptoms are of an outbreak.
1:21:48🔗
Yeah?
1:21:58🔗
Drew
You know, one of the things I'm going out to San Antonio to do is a vaginoplasty. Oh, really? Yeah. Discovery Health is sending me in on all these, I'm scrubbing in all these surgeries for penis enlargements and vaginal reconstruction and stuff.
1:22:11🔗
Drew
Because that's where the guy is that does millions of these. And you've got to see if they found somebody that's willing to just have me scrub in on the procedure.
1:22:26🔗
Caller
Yeah. Okay. There's one which is like a camel toe, you know? And that is like total, like there's no inner labia, you know?
1:22:37🔗
Caller
And I have the kind that the inner is like out also. Right. Right. And I am like totally paranoid about it with anyone. And I have a girlfriend that I've been with for like almost three years. I'm 16 and she's 21.
1:23:19🔗
Caller
But anyway, so she has the normal kind. I mean, I guess it's not normal, but it's the nice kind that I think is normal.
1:23:27🔗
Caller
No, no, she says it's wonderful. And I think that she's just lying and trying to make me feel bad.
1:23:34🔗
Adam
Well, first off, if I had an ugly vagina, I would treat it no differently than, you know, the guys who have bad chins so they grow a beard? I would just go right back to the 70s Bush. I would immediately go away from the Brazilian.
1:24:01🔗
Adam
I know, but you're like a guy who has a lot of scarring and some bad birthmarks on his head to sign to go bald. Let your hair grow out and cover up your hair.
1:24:10🔗
Caller
But that's only if you think there's a problem with it. She's the only one so far who's got a complaint about it.
1:24:16🔗
Caller
I think somebody who's got massive scarring on the top of their head is different than somebody that's got a standardized genetic.
1:24:21🔗
Adam
No, but that's where you're wrong. That's where you're wrong. Exactly. The horrible vagina.
1:24:26🔗
Caller
All I'm saying is when you play a bad guy in a movie, he's got a lot of scars, he might be bald. He doesn't necessarily have a type 2 vagina.
1:24:44🔗
Drew
Okay. All right. But everybody has some good and some bad. Laurel said that's the deal. It's a hole.
1:24:52🔗
Adam
I got the smell and the interlapia blowing out of me. So I got dealt a pretty rough hand.
1:25:19🔗
Caller
I don't know. He left when I was like one and a half. I don't really know him, so it doesn't really matter.
1:25:24🔗
Adam
All right. All right. I don't know where to begin with you because you're really, you're like some restoration project where it's like do we start it upstairs, we start in the basement.
1:25:40🔗
Adam
Yeah. I don't know where to begin, but first off, mazel tov on the lesbianism because you're not going to be crapping out any kids that are going to be abused.
1:25:50🔗
Drew
And you like your relationship. That's good. It's, it's, you know, something that's satisfying for me.
1:25:58🔗
Caller
And she says that she's heard, oh, she likes girls too, but she says that she's heard that my kind has better orgasms. But when people, oh, it's like they never know where to go. And it's like a waste of time. That's why I'm like a giver.
1:26:15🔗
Caller
Also why I don't like anyone like going down on me? Because they never waste the time for me.
1:26:30🔗
Adam
And like, Laurel sounds like one of the Von Trapp family members. You know, it just, this is sound of music kind of stuff right here. Wasn't there?
1:26:39🔗
Adam
There was a me, there was a sister that was about 16, I believe. I shared many of the same sensibilities.
1:27:04🔗
Caller
I'm imagining my mom wants to, like, send me to the mental hospital because I want to show her my vagina and I say it's ugly.
1:27:10🔗
Drew
Yeah. Showing your mom a vagina and saying anything is not a good impulse. And I think that it does mean there's something going on. Maybe it's obsessive-compulsiveness, whatever it is. There's something really seriously going on here. And Laurel, I do suggest you get it. I understand the symptom that's manifesting is this preoccupation with that part of your body, but it's a symptom. It's a symptom of something more globally going on here. And I think it's time to get that taken care of.
1:27:33🔗
Adam
Here's the thing, everybody. We gotta go to break, but you're 16. With the medical technology the way it is, you may have another 80 years on this planet. Let's try to see if we could just squeeze out 10 of them saying. Do you know what I mean?
1:27:49🔗
Adam
By the time you're 17, 18, you'll be firing on all cylinders. Seth Green in studio tonight.
1:28:01🔗
Adam
Robot Chicken out on Sunday nights, 11.30 on the Adult Swim. We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back after this.
1:28:29🔗
Adam
That's right. It's Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. Seth Green in studio tonight. Robot Chicken, name of the new show. And I don't want to call it animated. Can we call it animated?
1:28:42🔗
Caller
Yeah, it's an animated show, but it's like stop-motion animation the same as the Nightmare Before Christmas or the Rudolph the Red Nose Ranger stuff.
1:28:52🔗
Caller
We shoot it all digitally, but it's the same process where you photograph it frame by frame.
1:29:29🔗
Caller
It's all stuff that has incremental movement. That's very exciting stuff. What you get to see is stuff that looks like toys acting silly.
1:29:37🔗
Adam
I would immediately, I'd do the hand movement thing for move it, move an eighth of an inch photograph, eighth of an inch photograph. Eventually, I'd just get tired of just jerking it around. Like you'd be over here, then you'd be over there. I just wouldn't have the patience to do it incrementally.
1:29:52🔗
Caller
Especially how you regulate speed, you know what I mean? If you're trying to show a speed of motion, you just do less, actually, progressive movement.
1:30:10🔗
Adam
I was like, oh, Christ, I'm gonna kill myself. I'm seven, I'm just thinking about just, I'm gonna choke on my ba-ba and take my own life.
1:30:18🔗
Drew
That show would always show up early mornings when you're looking for something good to watch and nothing else would be there.
1:30:25🔗
Adam
What would God want us to do, Davey? Oh my God, every episode was the exact same thing. There'd be some blind person would show up and they'd want to make fun of them and then they'd learn their lesson. It was awesome. And then it was scary because Davey had a black friend and an Asian friend and when they start going to other nationalities in the claymation department, it always freaks me out. Everyone, my whole thing is if you go claymation, you got to go white, otherwise it gets freaky. Black guys don't wear eyebrows, always wrong. It's just not right. David and he didn't hang with the brothers anyway.
1:31:04🔗
Yep.
1:31:06🔗
I have a German in Germany or Florida.
1:31:11🔗
Okay. A man faces charges after attempting to bribe a policeman with McDonald's cheeseburgers. The man was originally arrested following a fight at a local pub, but tried to avoid being locked up by bribing the police officer on duty. The officer said, sorry.
1:31:27🔗
The officer said he told me that if I would drive him to McDonald's, he would buy me two cheeseburgers if I let him go and did not take him to jail.
1:32:00🔗
Adam
Germany's smart because it's just all, okay. Florida, Florida and Seth has Germany. Go ahead, Nick.
1:32:21🔗
Adam
And as a performer, all you have is your confidence out there on stage. You know what I mean? And when you erode it that way, if Seth has to question himself, that's when you lose it.
1:33:40🔗
Adam
Seth is a dear, dear friend and a huge talent, and really, whether it's features or animation, if he does a project, you must go out and see it. Robot Chicken is no exception on the Cartoon Network, Adult Swim, 11.30, Sunday night. All right, I want to thank engineer Michelle, engineer Chris, and junior, junior, junior, junior, junior, junior, junior, junior, junior, junior producer Lauren for doing a great job, and of course, producer Ann, and...
1:34:20🔗
Adam
Doing a great job. Everyone doing a great job. And until next time, this is Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew saying mahalo.
1:34:33🔗
Caller
The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or the station. The producer for Loveline is Aningold. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.