Monday, February 14, 2005

7:43🔗 Voiceover Loveline is meant for an adult audience. Loveline may contain sexually-oriented content. Sexually-oriented content. Listener discretion is advised. This is Loveline. With Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew.

8:07🔗 Voiceover Hey, buddy. It's Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-LOVE-191-ER. Dr. Drew, board certified physician, addiction medicine specialist. All right. No guess.

8:20🔗 Drew The hey, buddy goes along with us.

8:22🔗 Hey, buddy.

8:23🔗 Adam Hey, buddy.

8:24🔗 Drew It's sort of similar to people asking me what addiction medicine is.

8:28🔗 Adam Oh, really?

8:28🔗 Yeah.

8:29🔗 Drew Addiction medicine?

8:30🔗 Adam Yeah. Let's see. Board certified physician, addiction medicine specialist. The uh gets swallowed.

8:36🔗 Drew It goes with every.

8:36🔗 Adam And uh every. Hey, everybody. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Uh, let's see. Tomorrow night.

8:43🔗 Uh-huh.

8:44🔗 Adam And then uh Wednesday night, hot, hot heat is going to be uh in here.

8:49🔗 Drew Well, the female lead of Point Pleasant is coming in. I don't know if you've seen that show, but.

8:52🔗 Adam No. Have you seen Point Pleasant?

8:53🔗 Drew Yeah, it's my wife's, my wife's big, big.

8:55🔗 Adam Really?

8:55🔗 Drew Yeah, that's her pick.

8:56🔗 Adam What is it? Is it like the OC.?

8:58🔗 Drew No, it's more like uh you know the c-cult and she's got witch powers and whatever and I can't quite fall. The premise I don't like, but this actress is amazing.

9:07🔗 Adam Good looking.

9:08🔗 Drew And, but just compelling. Just really good.

9:10🔗 Adam Really?

9:11🔗 Drew Yeah, amazing.

9:12🔗 Adam So, that's uh Elizabeth Har, is it Harnoys?

9:15🔗 Drew Yeah.

9:15🔗 Adam Harnoys in here tomorrow night. Tell us all about Point Pleasant. So, is that uh, was that a replacement show on Fox?

9:22🔗 Drew Yeah, it just started up and it's getting big, big numbers and stuff.

9:24🔗 All right, well good.

9:26🔗 Adam Now, I, I, you know it's funny, Hot Chicks doing witchcraft, ironically, is a chick show.

9:33🔗 Drew Yes.

9:34🔗 Adam For guys, it's Hot Chicks, but then they're doing witchcraft and it sort of cancels it out. You'd think it would be alluring, but it's really not.

9:41🔗 Drew It just, it goes Wicca.

9:43🔗 Adam Yeah, there's just something, well first off, there's no Hot Chicks that actually practice witchcraft. Hot Chicks don't have to practice witchcraft.

9:50🔗 Drew They have their own witchcraft.

9:51🔗 Adam They're hot, yeah. They cast a vaginal spell on all who is around them. They just do. I mean, really if you think about it, being a smoking hot young chick, you don't need any potions, you don't need any eye of newt, you don't need any of that crap.

10:08🔗 Drew But don't you think that's where guys sort of get that thinking going? You know, she's right, she's a witchy woman, she casts a spell on me, I can't help myself, I do all these crazy things.

10:16🔗 Adam Right.

10:16🔗 Drew Right?

10:17🔗 Adam Right.

10:17🔗 Drew Yeah, so there you go. And yet we don't want to watch that on TV.

10:21🔗 Adam No, we don't, but like I said, because it doesn't rank true, the hot chicks don't monkey with all that, I'm going to win them over, I'm going to make a love potion, I'm going to stare into a crystal ball.

10:32🔗 Drew I guess the actual male version of that is just porno.

10:35🔗 Adam Oh well.

10:36🔗 Drew Of the witchy woman.

10:37🔗 Adam Yeah. Well, I mean, we just don't want to see anybody doing anything that we don't believe in, and it sounds like nonsense. And then the the other thing is, is really hot young chicks really don't do much of anything. I really, I really learned. You know, here's the whole thing. The hotter you are, the younger you are, and the more of a chick you are, the more difficult it is to teach you things. You just don't want to do stuff for the most part.

11:02🔗 Drew Why should you?

11:03🔗 Adam Your looks and your lifestyle is sort of a full-time gig.

11:07🔗 Drew They were getting to that little bit in Desperate Housewives this week. A little bit about this business about, you know, you think you're so much power just because you're an attractive woman.

11:14🔗 Adam Right.

11:14🔗 Drew And one of the housewives was sort of telling off her housemaid. She goes, hey, you're no different than me. You're going to be old and then we'll see where we are.

11:21🔗 Adam Yeah. Well, then they get old and you know what they become like? They become like ex-jocks who they're all of a sudden. First off, I mean, think about-

11:30🔗 Drew Ex-jocks get TV shows and stuff, though.

11:31🔗 Adam No, no. Think about this. Well, one out of every 500 of them did.

11:35🔗 Drew Right, right, right.

11:36🔗 Adam You know, here's the thing. As a jock, you're 34 and you're over the hill. As a smoking hot chick, you're 34 and you're seeing the top of the mountain. You know what I'm saying?

11:48🔗 Drew Right.

11:48🔗 Adam You got a couple- I mean, the jock and the hot chick years end about the same place. If you play your cards right, you make it to 37.

11:55🔗 Drew Right.

11:55🔗 Adam But there's no way- you ain't gonna be MVP of the league anymore in 37, 38. Right.

12:00🔗 Drew I mean, do you remember when George Blando was playing? Like, oh my god, he's 41 years old.

12:04🔗 Adam And when you're 40, it's all over. And since high school, you've just been having door swing open for you. You don't have to take the test. You got the alumni guys taking care of you. Right. Everything, you know, biggest thing you got to do is an autograph signing.

12:18🔗 Drew What happens to them?

12:19🔗 Adam Chips get in this too. I just- I've seen specials, many specials on it. They get depressed. Really? They went to adulation. It's not there anymore. None of them have business skills. They have nothing to fall back on.

12:29🔗 Drew I just always assume they got into business, lots of opportunities and stuff.

12:32🔗 Adam They have lots of opportunities, but often times a 9th grade education and no patience and no skills.

12:38🔗 Drew Wow.

12:39🔗 Adam They've been leading an unrealistic lifestyle. That's what happens to smoking hot chicks. If the marriage breaks up at 40, they got nothing. Yeah. Think about it, Drew.

12:49🔗 Drew So the message is go to school, study hard.

12:52🔗 Adam Or just get into something.

12:54🔗 Drew But if it's sports, you know what I mean?

12:56🔗 Adam Yeah.

12:57🔗 Drew Well, get into something intellectual.

12:58🔗 Adam All right. Well, get into something that takes more than four months out of year.

13:01🔗 Drew Right, right, right.

13:02🔗 Adam So, all right.

13:03🔗 Drew And store 12 years of your life.

13:04🔗 Adam I'm not talking about GIOS. I'm worried about the chicks, Drew. Please. Cassidy?

13:10🔗 Hey.

13:10🔗 Adam You're 19?

13:12🔗 Caller Yep.

13:12🔗 Adam What's up?

13:13🔗 Caller Okay. I talked to you guys a while back. It was like a month or two ago. I was in the adult industry doing movies. And I just contracted HPV and herpes type 2.

13:28🔗 Adam Congrats.

13:29🔗 Drew And that's a surprise to you?

13:32🔗 Caller Well, it's not now. If I would have been a little more educated, it wouldn't have been, but...

13:36🔗 Well, wait, wait, wait.

13:37🔗 Drew Let's just hold on.

13:38🔗 Adam It's not now.

13:39🔗 Drew Wait, wait. Let's just stand back for a second. If you were having sex with multiple partners, in any circumstances, even in a science lab, you were going to contract sexually transmitted diseases. They're very common. And you're going to get them, especially warts. I mean, that's guaranteed. Are you there?

13:57🔗 Caller Yeah. I didn't know that, yeah.

13:59🔗 Adam Okay.

13:59🔗 Drew Well, that's...

14:00🔗 Adam Now it's not a surprise.

14:02🔗 Drew All right.

14:02🔗 Adam So you'll...

14:03🔗 Drew By the way, the way you keep it on a multiple bar, you're going to get HIV and other more serious things.

14:07🔗 Adam It's an interesting take on not really hearing you, which is I got in the adult film industry and I got warts. Is that a surprise? Well, not now. Yeah, nothing's a surprise now, by the way. You've known it for three months.

14:25🔗 Drew Oh, my.

14:26🔗 Adam But, Drew, I know what I like. People find interesting and unique ways to unplug you night in and night out. Like anything but feel the sting from your whip.

14:37🔗 Drew No.

14:39🔗 Adam And I don't think cast... People that call the show aren't smart enough to do it intentionally.

14:44🔗 Drew No, it was a defense. It's just plain old flat out defense.

14:46🔗 Adam I don't think they know it. Yeah. All right. Well, yeah. No s, Sherlock. It's not a surprise. She's calling about it. How could it be a surprise? Do you think you just told her? She's been on hold for four minutes.

14:59🔗 Caller All right, Cassie.

14:59🔗 Drew So what's your question?

15:00🔗 Adam I'm sorry about that.

15:01🔗 Drew What's your question?

15:02🔗 Caller That was mean. But anyways, the question is, why are we not required to get herpes and HPV testing if it's such an issue with industry?

15:14🔗 Drew Because you couldn't, you really can't tell that in a mail. But there's no way to do it unless they're having an active outbreak or visible warts, really.

15:22🔗 Caller Okay.

15:22🔗 Drew So if they're not having an outbreak and you can't see the warts and they don't tell you they have it, you're done. They can still have it and they can still give it to you.

15:30🔗 Adam All right.

15:31🔗 Drew Even if they don't know they have it, which is also common.

15:33🔗 Adam How long were you in the adult industry?

15:36🔗 Caller Only about one month.

15:38🔗 Adam Oh, one month. How many partners you reckon you were with?

15:41🔗 Caller Four.

15:42🔗 Adam Four. All right. That's a long afternoon. And now, are these movies now out or what's the deal?

15:53🔗 Caller What was that?

15:53🔗 Adam Are they on the internet, these movies, or what's up?

15:57🔗 Caller One of them, no, three of them are actually movies you can go to the store, the video store and buy and I did two shoots that are on websites.

16:05🔗 Drew And where are the warts and herpes? He asked Coily.

16:10🔗 Caller Where are they?

16:11🔗 Drew Yeah, they vaginally.

16:12🔗 Caller Genital? Yeah, genital.

16:15🔗 Adam What are the names of the movies?

16:19🔗 Caller Hellcats 5 by Joey Favara. Yeah, but I don't really want to go into that anymore. But I was just wondering, like, can I...

16:28🔗 Adam Wait a minute, what are the other two movies?

16:30🔗 Caller The other, one of them is called Pink Eye, and I don't know what the other one is called.

16:34🔗 Drew Oh my God.

16:34🔗 Adam Pink Eye.

16:35🔗 Drew Oh my God.

16:36🔗 Adam Oh my God. All right.

16:38🔗 Caller Oh, whoa.

16:40🔗 Adam All right, so you're out of the business now?

16:43🔗 Caller Yeah.

16:44🔗 Adam All right, and what are you, you gonna start working with children now, or what's going on?

16:49🔗 Caller No, I'm still going to school. I was just doing that, like, side job.

16:54🔗 Adam All right, well, there's nothing you can do now. You just gotta wear condom if you have partners.

16:58🔗 Drew Yeah, and if you have frequent outbreaks, there's medication you can take, but.

17:01🔗 Adam Yeah. Well, the warts, there's no medication for the warts.

17:07🔗 Drew No, you can get them, but you should get them controlled and taken off if necessary.

17:10🔗 Adam Frozen off or burned on?

17:11🔗 Drew And then the herpes, if there are outbreaks, you should be treated when you have the outbreaks.

17:14🔗 Adam Well, how does the warts work? You get the breakout of the warts, then you go get them burned off, but then you get another breakout, right?

17:21🔗 Drew But they.

17:21🔗 Adam Helps control them.

17:22🔗 Drew Right.

17:23🔗 Adam They proliferate otherwise.

17:23🔗 Drew When they proliferate, they create more virus, they spread more rapidly.

17:26🔗 Adam So you gotta take a soldering iron to them.

17:28🔗 Drew Exactly.

17:29🔗 Adam Yeah. You know, I started thinking, you know, way back in the day, a girl would do porn and no one would really know it unless someone went to one of those movie theaters. There's no Internet, there's no rental, there's no anything, you know? I mean, a woman could do, you know, she could grow up in Iowa, move out to Van Nuys, have a career in pornography. Dad might not find out for 20 years. Up, quiet. Now, then there was a time where you did a movie, turn up on the Internet. That's where we're at now, except for, I think things are so flooded now.

18:03🔗 Drew That's what I was going to say. You're going back to anonymity. Yeah, you're back to lost again.

18:07🔗 Adam It's like, look, show of hands. Who hasn't done porn?

18:10🔗 Drew It's crazy.

18:11🔗 Adam Yeah, I mean, look, if you're Paris Hilton, someone's going to go find, look you up. But if you're just Sue Blogs.

18:18🔗 Drew We have Cassidy here with the HPV.

18:20🔗 Adam Yeah, I made up that name Sue Blogs.

18:22🔗 Drew Nice.

18:23🔗 Adam Yeah, well, it's Joe Blogs, John Doe. I don't know who the chick John Doe is in England, but in England, it's not John Doe, it's Joe Blogs. Sue Blogs sounds pretty good.

18:33🔗 Drew Nice.

18:33🔗 Adam Horrible porn name, if you really think about it. But the point, well, though, my thing was, would be with a name like Sue Blogs, I have to be hot. But the point is, if Cassidy here never finds her way to marry a senator or star in major releases, I mean, talking about big studio releases or something, she'll just melt into the thousands of women who got drunk and are on the Internet, maybe millions. All right. Theo?

19:03🔗 Caller Hey, yo.

19:04🔗 Adam Theo, what's happening, my brother?

19:06🔗 Caller I'm holding up. How are y'all doing?

19:07🔗 Adam Good. Theo does our theme songs.

19:11🔗 Caller Yeah. Numbers one.

19:12🔗 Adam He's done Germany or Florida. I think he's done. I think he's done Ray and Jero recording Countdown.

19:17🔗 Caller Things are sick and twisted from too much sun and Nazis. Guaranteed not to bore ya, Germany or Florida.

19:27🔗 Yep.

19:28🔗 Caller Good times, eh?

19:29🔗 Adam Good times.

19:29🔗 Drew Well done.

19:30🔗 Adam I'd rather hear that than Mark Anthony. So, now tell us-

19:34🔗 Drew Can you give us a side roll? Why were those Grammys, why do you think people didn't watch the Grammys last night so much? I heard they were great performances, but nobody watched.

19:40🔗 Adam Is that what bad-

19:41🔗 Drew Yeah.

19:42🔗 Adam Bad what?

19:42🔗 Drew Bad ratings.

19:43🔗 Adam Bad ratings. Well, here-

19:45🔗 Drew Hang on a second, Theo. Well, no, because it's interesting, I thought.

19:47🔗 Adam No, I think he's saying who cares about the Grammys, not who cares about you carrying them.

19:51🔗 Drew Oh, okay. That's exactly right.

19:53🔗 Adam Thank you.

19:54🔗 Drew Why the who cares?

19:55🔗 Adam I see Anderson is half full. You seem as half stoned. Okay.

19:59🔗 Drew I think it's clear. I think everyone was listening to Loveline when they were on.

20:02🔗 Adam Thank you.

20:03🔗 Drew Well done.

20:04🔗 Adam All right, now-

20:04🔗 Drew What's the other reason?

20:06🔗 Adam Now, I think Drew is dying. All right. Here's the thing. First off, too many award shows.

20:13🔗 Drew Yes.

20:13🔗 Adam Ass full of them.

20:14🔗 Drew Agreed.

20:14🔗 Adam People used to wait for these things and be like, wow, Bob Hope is going to be hosting the Oscars in just five and a half months.

20:21🔗 Drew Yes.

20:21🔗 Adam You'd be waiting for the Oscars. You'd be waiting for the Emmys or the Grammys. Now, there's too much in between. So everything gets filled up and now, if you notice, they're sneaking up on you. It's like, hey, Grammys tomorrow night.

20:34🔗 Drew Really? Already?

20:35🔗 Adam Yeah. So there's zero anticipation. I don't think Queen Latifah got people to go home early from going out to dinner to catch her doing a hosting thing. I think they probably like her as an actress or performer or something. I think Queen Latifah inspired anybody.

20:53🔗 Drew Did you watch any of it? Yeah, I did. What did you think as you passed by and watched it?

20:57🔗 Adam I thought the musical acts are getting better and better. I mean, they seem more involved. They seemed good except for that Mark Anthony. I mean, it seemed like a good production. It's just a couple of things. I think people used to be able to see live. If they wanted to see a live performance, they had to go to a concert.

21:20🔗 Drew Live is different than what you wanted to see live too, right?

21:22🔗 Adam Well, what I'm saying is, it used to be a bit of a novelty to watch somebody perform in a big theater. It's no longer that. Everyone has concert movies and shows and the Internet and all that kind of stuff. So that part is gone. There's 250 channels, all with something maybe better than this. Short attention span. The attention span is getting shorter and shorter and shorter in this country. People can't handle a double feature anymore. People can barely handle a two-hour movie. When someone says three hours of Queen Latifah, people just tune out.

21:54🔗 Drew The other thing that seemed to me, a funny reaction to it where it seemed like inside. It's like we're having a party and we're celebrating ourselves.

22:01🔗 Adam Yeah, there was.

22:02🔗 Drew There was a fair amount of that. It was like, okay, will you go do that? I'm not interested in that.

22:05🔗 Adam Yeah, music industry has always sort of been full of their own crap.

22:08🔗 Drew This was really that. If I felt it, I walked past it, it couldn't even hold my attention walking past because it was like, all right, let's hear a party. Well, good. I'm not invited. Okay, that's fine.

22:15🔗 Adam Also, now there's the element of we're going to provide something for everybody, which is really nothing for everybody. Yeah, this is, you like Country Western, you can wait an hour and 42 minutes before you see Garth Haggard come out there, which would be the ultimate Country Western name. No, but you like R&B, that's going to be a 46-minute wait. You just have to wait for your person at three hours. Right, right, right.

22:41🔗 Drew There we go, all right, we agree. So Theo, line one, line one.

22:44🔗 Adam Oh, all right, all right. Those are my theories. Theo?

22:48🔗 Caller Hello.

22:49🔗 Adam You're 27. Yeah, go ahead, brother. Give us, give us a, what do you have, a Valentine's Day theme song?

22:53🔗 Caller Yeah, it's a Loveline Valentine.

22:54🔗 Adam All right.

22:55🔗 Caller Here we go. Choke me, spank me, tie me up, hump my head till I throw up, bite me, punch me, call me names, take a poop, we'll play scat games, kick me, lick me, do it again, just like with my uncle when I was 10, bring a friend and I'll bring one too, You watch me and I'll watch you. Suck my feet, I'll wash your knees. We'll both find ways to try and please. I'll bring the pot, you bring the wine, and be my love, my Valentine.

23:27🔗 Adam Wow.

23:28🔗 Drew Something happened to Theo since we last talked to him.

23:29🔗 Adam Yeah.

23:30🔗 Drew I don't know what, but-

23:31🔗 Adam He's working blue now.

23:32🔗 Drew Oh my God, Theo, are you okay, buddy?

23:34🔗 Adam Yeah.

23:35🔗 Drew Were you on lithium before or something, and now you're off, or?

23:39🔗 I just, I doodled it down.

23:41🔗 Caller I was like on a call.

23:41🔗 Adam That was strong.

23:42🔗 Drew It was very strong, very creative. Well done, yes.

23:44🔗 Adam Stepdad is probably in the hall with his ear to the door going, Holy Christ.

23:49🔗 Caller Honey.

23:49🔗 Adam Look, I know things have changed since I was courting a gal. He's just calling his lady friend. All right, hey Theo.

23:58🔗 Caller Yeah.

24:00🔗 Adam Strong.

24:00🔗 Caller Thanks.

24:03🔗 Drew What was the tune?

24:04🔗 Caller I was trying to pick it up myself, I don't know.

24:07🔗 Adam Listen, there was no tune.

24:10🔗 Caller Yeah, it kind of fizzled out there at the end.

24:12🔗 Adam But no, it did. I say it built to a crap crescendo, a crapshendo.

24:17🔗 Caller Yes. I'm just trying to keep up with my numerous crappy songs.

24:20🔗 Adam All right, well, a new low.

24:22🔗 Caller I held it delivered.

24:23🔗 Adam Yeah, now you've lowered the bar. It's going to be tough getting under it next time. All right, brother man, thanks for calling. What is it?

24:30🔗 Drew I want you to come out here or something?

24:31🔗 Caller Yeah, I'm going to come out. Everything was falling apart on me, but I'm back to where I think I'm going to be able to work it out with my tax returns, so it would be good times. I'm thinking if my songs are worth like three grand apiece, then that would be my $15,000 contribution to be able to actually be an on-air guest.

24:47🔗 Adam Yeah, except for that's not going to happen.

24:49🔗 Caller That's what I figured.

24:50🔗 Adam Yeah. The reason it's not going to happen is because it undermines the people that spent hard-earned money for the tsunami relief fund to be on the show. All right. I used to be in this boat too, and it's one of those bad signs when you have to wait for your tax return to make a move on something. Like it's like, you know, you're like, when I should be getting between $350 and $425 from the IRS. All right. That's between six and nine weeks. When I get that money, that's when I make the move on the moped. It's like, okay, if you're 17, that's good. If you're well into your 20s and start to get in your 30s, it's time to re-evaluate at that point. Wait for that tax return. Get $300 back. All right, Drew, plug the Saw movie.

25:43🔗 Drew That's right. The Saw DVD comes out tomorrow to 15th. For those of you that are listening on the 15th, this comes out today. Everyone who gets on the air tonight, as with every night this week, you get a free copy of the Saw DVD.

25:56🔗 Adam Not everyone.

25:57🔗 Drew If you're over the age of 18, you get it and you qualify to win a trip to Derbyshire, England to see the heavy metal concert Bloodstock.

26:03🔗 Adam Yeah.

26:04🔗 Drew Yeah.

26:05🔗 Adam Yeah. And Drew, read the thing.

26:08🔗 Drew Every puzzle has its pieces.

26:10🔗 Adam Yes, it does. It's true.

26:13🔗 Drew You don't have a puzzle otherwise.

26:15🔗 Adam No, you know what it'd be? A picture.

26:21🔗 Drew Let me contemplate that.

26:22🔗 Adam Think about that. That's heavy.

26:23🔗 Drew Yeah, that's heavy.

26:25🔗 Adam What is a one-piece puzzle known as, Weed Hopper? A picture. All right. Puzzles, I don't think I've put one together in, you know, 35 years. Is anyone watching with those?

26:39🔗 Drew Kids do them.

26:39🔗 Adam Kids like them? All right. What about adults with the jigsaw ones?

26:43🔗 Drew No. Okay. There's these 3D ones sometimes people get into, but no.

26:47🔗 Adam Jennifer?

26:48🔗 Yeah?

26:49🔗 Adam Seventeen?

26:50🔗 Yes.

26:51🔗 Adam What's up?

26:53🔗 I just had a baby in December. Me and my boyfriend, we've been together for two years. And I used to be able to have an orgasm during sex. And now I just can't.

27:05🔗 Adam And the boyfriend's still there? You guys going to get married?

27:10🔗 Yeah. We're getting married in May.

27:11🔗 Drew Good. Are you breastfeeding?

27:14🔗 I couldn't.

27:15🔗 Drew Are you on any kind of contraception?

27:17🔗 Caller Yeah. I'm on the generic for orthotriacycline.

27:21🔗 Drew Is this the first time you've been on that pill?

27:23🔗 Caller No. I was on it when I was 15.

27:24🔗 Drew And it didn't affect your orgasm then?

27:27🔗 Caller No.

27:28🔗 Drew And it was a vaginal delivery?

27:30🔗 Caller Yes.

27:31🔗 Drew Well, certainly for the first year after you have a baby, people notice lots of changes in their sex drive and how their sexual function goes. And this may be something that returns to normal or maybe something that remains permanently altered.

27:41🔗 Adam Or maybe puberty is coming on.

27:44🔗 Okay.

27:46🔗 Drew No, I suspect this will come back. Any depression?

27:49🔗 Caller Well, I'm manic-depressant.

27:50🔗 I've been that way since I was about 7.

27:53🔗 Adam That kid's gonna be president.

27:55🔗 Drew Yep.

27:56🔗 Caller But no depression after I had the baby.

27:58🔗 Drew Are you on medication now?

27:59🔗 Yeah.

28:00🔗 I take Selexa, but they took me off the Depakote.

28:05🔗 Adam All right. Hey, what's your boyfriend do for a living?

28:08🔗 He installs and does service tech for heating and air.

28:13🔗 Adam Good.

28:14🔗 Drew Tin knockers, are those what you guys call them?

28:16🔗 Adam Yeah, those are the tin knockers, yeah. Hey, you guys are in New Mexico. Oh, that's got to be tough around August. Oh. Yeah.

28:26🔗 Drew Lots of air conditioning, though.

28:27🔗 Adam It's on the fritz. No, that's what I'm saying. It's broken down.

28:30🔗 Drew Oh, you're going on the roof.

28:30🔗 Adam Get up to the attic.

28:31🔗 Drew Oh.

28:32🔗 Adam Get up there. It's 170 degrees in that attic. Yeah, it's pretty hot. I think we have...

28:37🔗 Drew Start crawling through.

28:38🔗 Adam Yeah, start crawling through the attic.

28:39🔗 Drew It's a little...

28:39🔗 Adam Awesome. All right, Jennifer, you get married. He keeps his job. You don't have any more kids, all right?

28:45🔗 Okay.

28:46🔗 Drew And listen, were you on Selexa before the pregnancy?

28:49🔗 Uh-huh.

28:50🔗 All right.

28:50🔗 I was on it for a year.

28:52🔗 All right.

28:52🔗 Drew Maybe the depakote needs to come back. You may be getting a little depressed and don't really realize it.

28:55🔗 Adam Let me ask...

28:55🔗 Drew Commonly up for that first year after pregnancy.

28:57🔗 Adam Let me ask you this. When is it too young? You know, when would they not let you go home with your kid? You know, if you were 13 and crapped out a kid...

29:09🔗 Drew Oh, it's an interesting question.

29:12🔗 Adam You know, because it's sort of like...

29:15🔗 Drew If, by the way, if they have those sorts of rules, there should be sort of absolute measures independent of age that we should be able to apply to.

29:25🔗 Adam Yeah.

29:25🔗 Drew You know?

29:26🔗 Adam Yeah. Well, we see how your faggity friends, the ACLU, would enjoy those kinds of rules. But...

29:33🔗 Drew 14 is the age of usually... Under 15 is where people get freaked out about everything with adolescents.

29:39🔗 Adam Well, here's the thing, though. You have a kid, you take the kid home from the hospital.

29:43🔗 Drew I know. At what age?

29:44🔗 Adam Well, you know, that's it. I mean, it's like... Their argument is like, Hey, it's my kid. You have no right. Well, it's like saying, I own a car. You have no right to stop me from driving it. No, yeah, we do. We got a law. Says you got to be 16. You're 14. Yeah, but I own the car. Yeah, I know, but you don't get to have it.

30:02🔗 Drew I bet 15 and under. So we could look that up.

30:05🔗 Adam I don't think there's a rule in place. It might be some sort of parental something like your parents are taking you home kind of thing. But I don't know that there's a rule in place.

30:19🔗 Drew By the way, why aren't those parents being held accountable when the young child gets pregnant in the first place?

30:25🔗 Adam Slippery slope, Drew. Slippery slope.

30:27🔗 Drew Holding people accountable, that's tough.

30:28🔗 Adam Slippery slope, you can't.

30:29🔗 Drew Pretty soon we'll be asking people to not drive drunk. Yeah, you can't. Use birth control responsibly.

30:35🔗 Adam No, yeah, you can't ask some crack mom that's crapped out nine kids to get on birth control. You can't do it. Slippery slope.

30:45🔗 Drew Well, pretty soon.

30:45🔗 Adam Well, pretty soon, I'll tell you, pretty soon, they just come, they jackbooted thugs, kick in your front door and tell you, three kids is too many.

30:54🔗 Drew Or, they drop two off. You're going to raise these two. You raise these two.

30:59🔗 Adam That's what will happen. It's the same with that assistant, assistant-assisted suicide, the physicians, the physicians-assisted suicide, same deal.

31:09🔗 Drew Eventually, you'll just be shooting people in your waiting room.

31:12🔗 Adam There's nothing they could do.

31:13🔗 Drew No, because you would just go out. You'd be through that door wide open long before.

31:16🔗 Adam You, forget about physicians, dentists would be doing it.

31:20🔗 Drew Well, they'd want the privileges too, and psychologists also.

31:23🔗 Adam You'd have a pediatric dentistry business, you would step into the waiting room, see a lot of 14-year-olds and 9-year-olds and 5-year-olds in needed braces. You'd just start spraying them with bullets.

31:33🔗 Drew And your justification is clearly genetically inferior to bad teeth.

31:37🔗 Adam Don't need a justification. There's nothing we could...

31:41🔗 Drew I'm not sure we'd go that far, Adam. I'm not sure.

31:44🔗 No, you don't understand.

31:45🔗 Adam There's nothing we could do.

31:46🔗 There's nothing. You understand?

31:49🔗 Drew You're right.

31:50🔗 Adam Slippery slope. We said it was okay for Kevorkian to take guys in advanced stages of Lou Gehrig's out of their misery. Then what's to stop you from just smothering the life out of young patients? Nothing we could do. Nothing. Zero. Nothing.

32:05🔗 Drew Because of that slippery slope?

32:07🔗 Adam It's so slippery. That's slippery. You see what I'm saying?

32:10🔗 All right.

32:11🔗 Adam It's a very slippery slope, people. That's why we can never do anything. We can't profile at the airport because-

32:19🔗 Drew That's slippery.

32:19🔗 Adam Well, we start pulling Arab guys who are in this age range side and taking a closer look at them. Before we know it, anyone with dark hair, we just kick in the front door traveling or not, and we just take them down. Sure. Jack-booted thugs right in the front door.

32:34🔗 Drew Absolutely.

32:35🔗 Adam Absolutely. Slippery slope. Very slippery.

32:39🔗 Okay.

32:40🔗 Adam Here's how you know, by the way, here's where all this stuff ends. It always ends where it stops making sense. Right. A guy who thinks he's going to choke on his own saliva in the middle of the night, who wants to be put out of his misery in a humane way, makes sense. Right. You snuffing healthy people, well, doesn't make sense. Us pulling guys at the airport aside, who fit a profile and look suspicious and talking to them, makes sense. Guys kicking in your front door and telling you, you can only have sex and a missionary position, nothing in it. See, that's the part. There's got to be something in it for the government. There has to be something in it for the people. You remove the incentive part and it's not there anymore.

33:28🔗 Drew Otherwise, you're just talking about totalitarianism and dictatorship and horrible things, which if that gets going anyway. Yeah.

33:36🔗 Adam That's why you got to hang on to that AK-47 with the grenade launcher and the banana clip on it. But again, slippery slope. They take that. Next thing you know, they come in your house and want your pocket knife. They want your spork. That's true, Drew. Slippery. That's why we do nothing.

33:53🔗 Drew Well, they just take over your house.

33:55🔗 Adam You're trying to do something. Don't do anything. We have to take a break. That's something, but in a way, it's nothing because we're going to stop the show, okay? All right, we'll be back after this. Yeah, Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. Fun number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1-R. One thing I noticed watching the Grammys is quite a few of the folks on the show that were nominated have been on this show. Made me feel good. Nice. Except for they always come on the show like a year before they get hot. And then I'm always like, Hey, dude, what's the name of your band? Led What? Whatever. We gotta take some calls. Let me do the talking.

34:37🔗 Drew Green What?

34:38🔗 Adam Green Who? Yeah. So, yeah, that's how it goes. I went to the dentist.

34:45🔗 Drew Uh-oh.

34:45🔗 Adam Yeah. Got more problems.

34:47🔗 Drew Today?

34:48🔗 Adam Well, yesterday. Got some root canal problems.

34:52🔗 Drew Yesterday was Sunday.

34:53🔗 Adam Well, it must have been Friday. I can't even think of yesterday as a workday. But only workday for us. Thank you. Yeah. You know the thing I'm amazed by? A couple of things with the dentist. One is I have to sort of educate the dentist, so they enjoy me, like I'm saying to the one guy. The other guy got the inline water heater, feels good on your teeth. And then the guy is like, what? They have those? And I'm always like, I have to stop myself at that point, because he's going to stab me with a syringe. But I'm like, there's a part of me who wants to stand up and scream. You don't know what that is? You don't know what that is? I know what that is. How come you don't know what that is? They spray that freezing water all over your sensitive teeth. I'm telling you, I got a guy to put it in.

35:38🔗 Drew I know, you told me.

35:39🔗 Adam Glorious.

35:39🔗 Drew He put in all of them.

35:40🔗 Adam It's like someone peeing in your mouth. It's awesome.

35:42🔗 Drew Glorious.

35:43🔗 Adam Oh well, you know, peeing water.

35:45🔗 Drew Oh, of course.

35:46🔗 Adam A wonderful cherub urinating in your mouth. It's awesome. Now I'm telling you, when you get your teeth cleaned and they're scraping and your gums are all sensitive and they just spray that stuff, especially during the wintertime, just comes right from the ground, coming hitting you at 50 degrees and it's like, ah, it hurts, especially, obviously you're there because you have some problems with your teeth. You know what I mean? Look, if you were, you know, some Aryan youth and you were in perfect condition, then spray all the arctic water on my mouth you want. But if you got some bad gums and you're getting hit with that stuff, it's like, yow. The warm water feels nice.

36:23🔗 Drew You know what it is? We're all such lemmings. We need marketing. We need to respond to the PR. We just don't, doesn't get on our radar strain.

36:31🔗 Adam Well, he mentioned that many, many people have commented that they enjoy the hot water on their teeth.

36:39🔗 Drew Yeah, yeah, yeah. You said people love it.

36:41🔗 Adam Yeah, they love it. Now, a couple of things. The other guy doesn't have the nitrous tank, though. And he's a, he's a very, I don't know what his title is. He's a periontologist.

36:51🔗 Drew Periodontist.

36:51🔗 Adam Periodontist. He operates on people's mouths.

36:55🔗 Drew Not young people. What are you doing there?

36:57🔗 Adam Oh, what do you mean, not young people?

36:59🔗 Drew Periodontist?

37:00🔗 Adam Well, I don't know what he is.

37:00🔗 Drew For the very old, usually.

37:02🔗 Adam Oh, really? He does root canals, basically. But, you know, my thing with him is, is if you don't have nitrous, who does? If not you, then who? Come on, buddy.

37:11🔗 Drew He's doing the night. He's doing root canal on you?

37:14🔗 Adam They don't, yeah. They don't give, they don't, he doesn't, he doesn't believe in the nitrous. And it's always that kind of thing where they do that. You can make it. Yeah, I could make it. Look, if this was the Civil War, you could take my leg off at the knee. Just give me a little scotch, I'll bite on a spoon. Yeah, we have nitrous. I could use that. No, no, you'll make it. Yeah, yeah, I'll make it. What do you think, I'm going to suffer seizure and die in the chair? I'm not going to cry.

37:41🔗 Drew They have to do another year of anesthesia.

37:43🔗 Adam I'll make it, but hit me with a little of the nitrous, buddy.

37:46🔗 Drew Oftentimes, they have to do a lot of extra training to do that. Oh, really? You can't just give nitrous to anybody.

37:50🔗 Adam Look, I can get busy. Listen, I can do my own nitrous. I should just start carrying my own tank. That's what I should do, just rolling around.

37:58🔗 Drew Just go in there with a big balloon.

37:59🔗 Adam Fiddling with some oxygen. Listen, I was in high school. Some guy stole nitrous tank. I know how to handle it. It's cool.

38:07🔗 Drew Show me your heavyweight card.

38:08🔗 Adam Yeah, my heavyweight. Come on, crank it up. And I got the deviated septum, so I'll get a lot of air through my nose. So let's go ahead and crank it up there, pops. All right. Now, the other dentist has pictures of diseased teeth in huge. The guy's an amateur photographer, takes pictures of the mouth so closely that you can't identify the person. You just see the f'd up teeth. Huge, glossy, color.

38:35🔗 Drew Disgusting.

38:35🔗 Adam 18 by 26, pasted all over the place. And I don't mean a little tobacco stained teeth.

38:44🔗 Drew Hobo, hobo mouth.

38:44🔗 Adam I mean hobo mouth. Yeah, yeah. Guys from parts of the world where they don't have any dentistry at all. They're sick stuff.

38:50🔗 Drew They at least have the after pictures, too. All before.

38:53🔗 Adam No, before and after. But of course, you go right to the before.

38:57🔗 Drew Yeah.

38:58🔗 Adam And you go to the after, too, but it's the before part. The guy's got teeth. That teeth grow out of their nose, pushing through their lips out their chin. And you just sit in a chair going, I may vomit. And here's why I just want to say to all dentists, we don't like teeth. You guys like teeth. It's your business. It's your life. For us, pain in the ass.

39:18🔗 Drew Mouth is gross.

39:19🔗 Adam If we never ever had to see you ever, it would be the best day of our lives. That's it. We never want to see you. I don't want to go there and study diseased mouths. And by the way, what do you think I'm going to do? Sit down in the chair and be like, that's it. I'm going to be a dentist. That's it. You've convinced me. Seeing all the people with all the trouble, I can do something out there. I'm going to go be, forget this comedy, forget the radio, forget the carbonary. I'm going to be a dentist. I'm going to help people.

39:47🔗 Drew Or just a photographer.

39:48🔗 Adam Or a photographer, dental photographer, diseased dental photographer. That's my calling. Yeah. And I have to sing.

39:58🔗 No!

40:00🔗 Adam It's a little inside joke, but Drew, but the point is, put some clowns up, some butterflies, some mountains. You know what I mean? Make us think we're somewhere other than that. This guy's dentist office is like you fell into a horrible dental fun house. House of whores. House of dental whores. You know what I mean? Everywhere you look, there's a diseased mouth. You're hearing drills going. You're going into the chair again.

40:25🔗 Drew See images of a clown face coming forward?

40:27🔗 Adam Yeah, like sort of screwed up Kaliope. Here's what I want. I want to go to a dentist office that looks like a strip club.

40:37🔗 Caller Oh, oh, hmm.

40:38🔗 Adam I want to go to a dentist office with like a mirror ball and some purple lights.

40:43🔗 Drew But you want the strippers there too?

40:45🔗 Adam I wouldn't mind.

40:46🔗 Drew How about the announcer?

40:47🔗 Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, ginger, vines, blah, blah, blah, blah.

40:53🔗 Adam Yeah, a little poison blaring in the background.

40:55🔗 Drew Corolla tier three, Corolla tier three.

40:57🔗 Adam All I want to do is go to a dance-off where I don't know it's a dance-off. How about that? All right, not the diseased teeth everywhere. Jessica?

41:06🔗 Oh, yes, hi. Hi. No, hold on.

41:08🔗 Adam No, you have to avert your gaze. I mean, when you see, when you see, like, and by the way, it's like, yeah, they put them. They do that. They put the wire in the guy's gum, so it spreads. The guy looks like a horse, spreads the lips away, so you see nothing but gum and tooth. It's a color photo that is taken for about four inches from the guy's mouth, and there's broken off, crusty, abscess, stuff growing out of the gum. It's 18 by 26. You just stare at it and it's like, you have to hold your hand up. What is that?

41:42🔗 Drew I don't know. It's quite an impulse.

41:45🔗 Adam You know, guys like this must not have kids.

41:46🔗 Drew If you go to gynecologist, you ain't seeing pictures.

41:49🔗 Adam Certainly, the diseased version of it.

41:52🔗 Drew Not even the non-diseased version. Seeing the kids afterwards, but...

41:56🔗 Adam I'm just saying. Somebody's got to walk in there and just go, this guy needs a precocious teenage son to just come in there and go, Dad, get rid of this crap.

42:07🔗 Drew You're embarrassing me.

42:07🔗 Adam Put up the eagles with the nice saying underneath it. Go ahead, Jessica.

42:12🔗 Hi. I just had a quick question, because you guys are two smart guys when it comes to this, but I was wondering what your opinion was on the fact that my boyfriend has kissed other guys. I don't know if he likes it or not, but it just kind of weirds me out.

42:27🔗 Drew Has he done this publicly or he just told you about it? What?

42:29🔗 Well, publicly, at parties when we have been drinking or whatever, but I don't know, because when I drink, I've kissed some of my girlfriends just for fun, but I never thought guys would do that too. It just seems weird.

42:43🔗 Drew What was your intention in kissing another girl?

42:46🔗 What was my intention?

42:47🔗 Drew Yeah. What were you thinking you would do?

42:48🔗 I don't know. There was really no intentions, I guess.

42:52🔗 Drew Were you trying to impress guys by doing that?

42:54🔗 No, not impress guys. It was just fun to do. I don't know why.

42:57🔗 Adam All right.

42:58🔗 Drew Well, I'm wanting to go for you.

42:59🔗 Adam She doesn't know.

43:00🔗 Drew Yeah.

43:01🔗 Adam Hey, Jessica.

43:02🔗 Drew How do people go through life without having any idea what motivates?

43:05🔗 Adam It's amazing. I think it's an easier life, actually. I guess so. You just get to do stuff. Hey, Jessica? Yes. Your boyfriend, he kissed guys, but does he kiss them like with his tongue or does he kiss them like he's screwing around?

43:23🔗 I can't tell. I mean, he's done it with tongue, so to me, it just-

43:29🔗 Drew With tongue is not screwing around.

43:30🔗 Adam I mean, he locks lips with these guys and kisses them with a French kiss?

43:36🔗 Yeah, but I don't know. I can't tell if he's just doing it for intent because people will take pictures and stuff and I just, I don't know.

43:45🔗 Adam What else is he into?

43:47🔗 What else is he into?

43:48🔗 Drew Drugs?

43:49🔗 No, not, he used to but not anymore. I mean, he likes music, we just hang out. Pretty normal life.

43:58🔗 Caller So I thought-

44:00🔗 Adam What's he do? Student?

44:01🔗 What does he do?

44:02🔗 Adam Yeah.

44:03🔗 He's working at a record store right now.

44:06🔗 Drew A record store?

44:07🔗 Could be gay.

44:08🔗 Drew Then there was such a thing anymore.

44:09🔗 No. Well, I didn't think so, but that's why I was calling you guys. All right.

44:12🔗 Adam Well, why don't you ask him about the kissing? You're his girlfriend. Look, you would have a right to ask if he kissed a girl, you would have the right to ask if he kissed a guy. I mean, it's pure and simple. Jessica?

44:24🔗 Yes.

44:24🔗 Adam How about we give him a call and we get to the bottom of it?

44:28🔗 Give him a call right now?

44:29🔗 Drew Yeah.

44:30🔗 Adam Now, I call him on my own time around noon tomorrow, but I don't care.

44:34🔗 Well, he's with his mom right now. I don't know. Because we were out earlier and then he said... That's gay.

44:41🔗 Adam He's with his mom.

44:42🔗 I know it sounds bad. It's not...

44:43🔗 Drew He's gay.

44:45🔗 His dad died last year and his mom... So he said he was going to take his mom out.

44:50🔗 Guest So I...

44:52🔗 Adam His dad died last year and he says he's going to take his mom out. Is it his dad's birthday or their anniversary or something?

44:58🔗 Drew Valentine's Day. Valentine's Day. I know it's a lovely treat.

44:59🔗 Valentine's Day and...

45:01🔗 Drew Take your mom out on Valentine's Day.

45:02🔗 Adam Oh, really?

45:03🔗 Yeah, really.

45:04🔗 Adam I guess so. Marginally creepy, but it's kind of gay. All right. Jessica.

45:10🔗 Drew Chris took his mom out tonight.

45:11🔗 Adam You can... Oh, really?

45:13🔗 Drew Yeah.

45:13🔗 Adam Uh-oh.

45:15🔗 Guest No, I was working on it.

45:16🔗 Drew Had you not been working, though?

45:18🔗 Guest Probably.

45:18🔗 Drew Yes.

45:18🔗 Guest Oh, really?

45:19🔗 Actually, we went out yesterday.

45:20🔗 Drew See? For Valentine's Day. He's gay.

45:24🔗 Adam Wow.

45:24🔗 Caller No, I'm not gay, Anderson.

45:25🔗 Adam All right.

45:26🔗 Drew Well, you're fat.

45:27🔗 Adam All right. You, uh, I could probably the greatest gift you'd give your mom be to move out, Chris. That's what I'd say, Valentine's wise. What do you think? You ready?

45:35🔗 If I had the money, I would.

45:37🔗 Drew Valentine's, Christmas, everything wrapped in one.

45:39🔗 Adam I know. Well, let me explain something, though. You're never really going to have the money. You just have to move out and make it work. That's how it works.

45:46🔗 Yeah, I'm trying to get my friends to do it.

45:48🔗 Adam All right. You got to get a buddy who needs and you got to get a one-bedroom. Yeah, turn yourself up, Chris.

45:55🔗 Drew What was that?

45:55🔗 Caller I was like, great.

45:56🔗 Drew You want us to do that at Cranes Center? It's okay if Chris does it.

45:59🔗 Caller Yeah.

46:00🔗 Adam So, you need to do, you got to get a buddy, you got to get a one-bedroom.

46:05🔗 Caller All right.

46:05🔗 Adam And then you can do it. You know what I'm saying? What's a one-bedroom go for? $550, $600?

46:11🔗 Drew It's in Temple City. Yeah. St. Gabriel.

46:13🔗 Oh, that's a lot?

46:14🔗 Adam $400 or $500?

46:16🔗 Caller No, well, not with two people, no.

46:17🔗 Caller It wouldn't be a lot.

46:18🔗 Adam No, no.

46:19🔗 Caller For two people.

46:20🔗 Adam Yeah. Hold on a second.

46:23🔗 No, no.

46:24🔗 Adam Forget about the occupancy. How much does a one-bedroom go for where you're looking?

46:29🔗 Guest About $550.

46:30🔗 Adam About $550?

46:31🔗 Guest Yeah.

46:31🔗 Adam Okay. So, you know what I'm saying? I had three guys in a one-bedroom once.

46:38🔗 Caller $550 out there?

46:39🔗 Drew It's pretty cheap out there, yeah.

46:40🔗 Yeah.

46:40🔗 Adam No one wants to live out there. No one's stupid enough to live out there.

46:44🔗 Right.

46:44🔗 Adam Yeah. You get two, three buddies, you move into a one-bedroom.

46:47🔗 Drew Don't forget the rabbit.

46:48🔗 Adam In the rabbit. I used to have a rabbit. Do you have a rabbit?

46:51🔗 Drew No.

46:52🔗 Adam I had a rabbit and kittens. It's awesome. I'd run around my house and crap everywhere. Think about rabbit crap. Man, you clean that stuff up with a broom. Really? Swag it like a hockey puck.

47:03🔗 Drew No, you guys can flip it into the air and then smack it like a baseball.

47:08🔗 Adam Yeah. It's like playing cricket. It's awesome. Seriously, where rabbits will crap while they're running, they'll crap everywhere and you just literally sweep it up.

47:16🔗 Drew That's interesting.

47:17🔗 Adam Comes out like a BB. It's nice. I wish I crapped that one.

47:21🔗 Drew Squirrels crap that way.

47:22🔗 Adam We'll never know. We got to take a little break. We'll be right back after this. Yeah. It's Loveline. Adam, that's Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Well, I just tallied up my roommates and I've had 10 roommates in my life. I came up with that in 40 seconds.

47:47🔗 Drew Could be some others.

47:48🔗 Adam Probably 3 more floating around out there.

47:51🔗 Drew It wasn't?

47:51🔗 Adam No.

47:53🔗 Drew Was Liz Kushel a roommate of yours?

47:55🔗 Adam No. No. There's another Lisa. Another Lisa was. David?

47:59🔗 Caller Yes.

48:00🔗 Adam 27?

48:01🔗 Caller Yeah.

48:03🔗 Caller What's up?

48:05🔗 Caller About a month ago, I broke up with my boyfriend and...

48:08🔗 Drew You're gay. And?

48:10🔗 Adam True.

48:10🔗 Drew Please. Go ahead.

48:13🔗 Caller And I was... He tested positive, and I wanted to know how soon I could accurately get tested also.

48:22🔗 Drew Well, you can get the viral-specific test in 2 weeks, but that has a lot of false positives associated with it.

48:30🔗 Adam Really?

48:30🔗 Drew Yeah. So, you know, if you're negative there, at least you can rest assured you are almost undoubtedly negative.

48:38🔗 Adam Is that the DNA one?

48:39🔗 Drew Yeah.

48:40🔗 Caller What's the name of the test again?

48:42🔗 Drew Uh, how do they call it?

48:44🔗 Adam No, it's the porn star one.

48:45🔗 Drew Yeah, it's like a virus-specific test. It's not an antibody test. It's specifically for the virus.

48:49🔗 Adam Alright, so they're not looking for the antibody that's created when you get the virus. They're looking for the virus.

48:54🔗 Drew The actual virus.

48:54🔗 Adam Which shows up quicker than obviously the antibody.

48:57🔗 Drew Yes, and the antibody can take up to 6 months. So you should... How long ago were you with him?

49:01🔗 Caller Um, I was with him about a month ago. That's when we broke up.

49:05🔗 Drew So you could be tested now and be reassuring. I think getting both tests would be reasonable, but to realize that if you're positive for the virus, it doesn't necessarily mean you have it.

49:15🔗 Caller Mm-hmm.

49:17🔗 Drew That's false. A lot of false positives.

49:19🔗 Adam On the virus one.

49:21🔗 Drew Yeah, but if you're negative on both, the antibody is very accurate.

49:25🔗 Adam You have the antibody, you got it, because how else would you have the antibody?

49:29🔗 Drew Well, there have been some reported cases of people getting antibody and don't get infection. You fight it off, but that's rare.

49:34🔗 Caller Rare, rare, rare, rare.

49:36🔗 Adam Alright, good luck. Get that and call us back and tell us how it went. Chris?

49:41🔗 Caller Yeah.

49:42🔗 Adam You're 21?

49:43🔗 Caller Yeah.

49:44🔗 Adam Alright. I really call you around Ontario. Mr. Personality?

49:49🔗 Caller Yeah. No, I've been dating my girlfriend for about a year and a half now.

49:52🔗 Drew It's called The Greeter.

49:53🔗 Adam Oh, The Greeter.

49:54🔗 Drew Nice, Ontario Greeter.

49:55🔗 Adam Go ahead, buddy. You've been with your girlfriend for a year and a half.

49:58🔗 Caller Yeah.

49:59🔗 Caller And she wants to, or I want to have a homosexual there, but she doesn't want to. So we talk about it then, she kind of like wants to but doesn't. And then every time I bring it up when I'm in sex, she kind of pushes away.

50:11🔗 Caller I'm just curious what she'll do.

50:14🔗 Drew Lay off.

50:15🔗 Caller Yeah.

50:16🔗 Adam Now you got to get the ether rag out for the bum rush.

50:20🔗 Caller Yeah.

50:21🔗 Adam Yeah, you got to leave her alone.

50:23🔗 Caller She won't take it at all?

50:25🔗 Adam She'll get resentful that you forced it on her, whether she digs it or not, I don't know. But she will be resentful and she probably won't dig it.

50:33🔗 Drew Probably won't dig it at all. Probably hurt her badly.

50:35🔗 Adam Let me talk to someone who knows her.

50:35🔗 Wait, I want to know how he brings it up during sex.

50:37🔗 Caller Like how does he, does he ask her while they're in the middle of the act?

50:39🔗 Drew No, he doesn't ask. He starts pushing. He says whenever I bring it up during sex. Yeah. Let me put this here.

50:45🔗 Adam Krista?

50:47🔗 Yeah?

50:48🔗 Adam You're 19?

50:49🔗 Guest Yes, sir.

50:51🔗 Adam So you keep going back to your boyfriend who says he may burn down your mother's house?

50:56🔗 He has mentioned that one time, yes.

50:59🔗 Adam Or one time. Has he done anything?

51:03🔗 No, he hasn't acted upon anything yet, but I've kind of had the tendency to go back to guys that are not necessarily verbally abusive, but threatening. I get the form of a verbal abuse, and I've noticed it. I didn't realize it when I was younger, but I've noticed looking back that it's been going on since I was 13.

51:25🔗 Adam Well, guess your dad wasn't a great guy.

51:28🔗 Guest Right.

51:29🔗 You know, I love my father very much. We have a much better relationship now that I don't see him all the time.

51:34🔗 Drew Yeah. Well, that's good how you are now.

51:36🔗 Adam What an endorsement.

51:37🔗 Drew Ringing endorsement, in fact. But when your brain was developing and getting sort of wired up, he had a different impact on you and it's made you...

51:45🔗 He never sexually molested me, nothing like that. But he was the type of father that was very strong worded. He would say things, he would threaten with a belt, he would never actually act upon it, but he was an enforcer. He was an authoritarian.

52:02🔗 Drew He was abusive. He was frankly abusive, he wasn't overtly abusive.

52:05🔗 Adam Well, you were intimidated and scared of your dad.

52:06🔗 Drew You felt powerless and you're going to go for guys that give you that in your current life, in your adult life. The terror is converted to attraction in adulthood. Parents make no to that. Think about that when you're terrorizing your kids. That person you are when you're terrorizing them, they'll be sure to be attracted to that when they're 15.

52:22🔗 Adam You're 19, so maybe you're coming to the end of this, so you could stretch this out a good 10 more years. So now you know what's going on. Why don't you just sort of nip it early, move on, have a good relationship, and mama can keep her trailer. We'll take a quick break, be right back after this. Yeah, Loveline to Adam, that's Dr. Drew. Elizabeth Arnoy is going to be here tomorrow night. She's a foxy chick from Fox's Point Pleasant. Witches.

52:51🔗 Caller Hot.

52:53🔗 Drew Or something. Something with witchy woman.

52:55🔗 Adam Yeah. Trying to think of like, you know, and trying to think where there's a bigger chasm between reality and television, you know. Here's what I'm saying, like, in TV, if there's, they do a movie about race car drivers, well, race car drivers are actually good looking guys for the most part. You know what I mean? So even if you got a leading man type, Jeff Gordon's a nice looking guy. But I think the witch, I think they're always nothing short of super foxes on TV and in real life, just a train wreck.

53:34🔗 Caller Yeah.

53:36🔗 Adam Any bigger chasm than the witch in real life and the one on TV, Drew? Can you think of any perfect, you know what I'm saying?

53:42🔗 Drew So thus far, I've not seen anyone even look close to Elizabeth Montgomery.

53:45🔗 Caller Oh, ho, ho, ho, ho.

53:46🔗 Drew Let alone this Elizabeth, the whore noise.

53:49🔗 Adam That was a nice looking woman.

53:51🔗 Drew For her time.

53:53🔗 Adam God rest her soul.

53:54🔗 Drew The hot sitcom wife is pretty bad too. Always married to the fat guy.

53:57🔗 Adam Yeah. Yeah, but at least there's attractive women who get married.

54:01🔗 Drew Right.

54:02🔗 Adam You know what I'm saying? Right. Maybe they're husband. Maybe they've been married. I think the excuse is always this. The guy was the captain of the football team, but he packed on a bunch of weight and lost some hair.

54:12🔗 Drew Right. You're thinking of the King of Queens?

54:13🔗 Adam You're thinking of every sitcom. Every sitcom. There's no sitcom where the chick isn't hotter than the guy.

54:20🔗 Drew Right.

54:20🔗 Adam But we can imagine that they were dating in high school, and they always do that Glory Days kind of thing with him too. So maybe just packed on some weight and lost the hair.

54:29🔗 Drew Right.

54:30🔗 Adam But the Witches, that is a Grand Canyon-sized chasm between reality and television.

54:36🔗 Caller All right.

54:36🔗 Adam Let's talk to Jessica's 20. Jessica?

54:40🔗 Caller Hi.

54:42🔗 Adam What's up?

54:43🔗 Well, basically, whenever I fantasize, whether it be masturbation or with my boyfriend or whatever, I constantly think of really ugly guys. People that I'm not to, and then after I orgasm, I'm kind of disgusted.

55:01🔗 Drew I've never been like that before.

55:03🔗 Not before.

55:04🔗 Drew What do you mean ugly? What does that mean?

55:07🔗 I don't know.

55:09🔗 Drew Like, in what way are you ugly?

55:10🔗 Caller I'm ugly? Oh, I'm sorry.

55:11🔗 I mean like fat, like just disgusting people. And there'll be some people I'll see during the day, like just random, like, uh.

55:22🔗 Adam You see some unattractive guy and you're thinking about it when your boyfriend's having sex with you.

55:28🔗 Drew No, it's masturbates.

55:29🔗 Adam Oh, when you masturbate?

55:31🔗 Caller Yeah.

55:33🔗 Any time that I fantasize, like, whether it pops in there in sex or it pops in, like, whenever, you know?

55:38🔗 Adam So it does during sex, too?

55:40🔗 Yeah.

55:40🔗 Drew Okay. So what?

55:42🔗 I mean, not always, not every single time, you know?

55:45🔗 Drew It sounds kind of fetish-like, doesn't it?

55:47🔗 Adam Some... Yeah, and then there's also some people that just have a weird sort of, uh.

55:53🔗 Drew Tourette's, like.

55:54🔗 Adam Well, it's like.

55:55🔗 Drew You're gonna think of something weird.

55:56🔗 Adam There's that sort of thing where you will torture yourself a little bit. It's that sort of, my tooth hurts, so I'm gonna flick it with my tongue every ten seconds.

56:05🔗 Drew Yeah, what is that?

56:06🔗 Adam Most people have it, to some degree, with one thing or another. You know, I mean, if there's a part on your body that has some pain.

56:14🔗 Drew You'll poke at it.

56:14🔗 Adam You'll poke at it.

56:15🔗 Drew Oh, so why, though, during sex, if she's having a arousal, would she evoke or invoke something hit her?

56:22🔗 Adam I think it's a way to get some distance from the intimacy.

56:25🔗 Drew Yeah, it's a fetish. That's what a fetish is.

56:27🔗 Adam All right, but people don't know fetishes as that. She's trying to get some distance from her boyfriend.

56:32🔗 Drew Right, too intense. I think you're right. That's right. So she can be aroused.

56:35🔗 Adam Yeah.

56:36🔗 Drew It's sort of... Also, some people sometimes feel disgusted with themselves for being sexual, and so it's a way of sort of releasing that disgusting piece by sort of identifying...

56:45🔗 But it's not every time. Like, I mean, sometimes I'll have orgasms, and I'll be just thinking, my boyfriend and everything will be perfect, but like...

56:51🔗 Drew You're fine, Jessica. It's not a big deal. We sort of deem... I know it's a little bit troubling.

56:56🔗 When I tell it to, like, they say it's like, oh, it's like, no, nothing happened to me in childhood. It's just like in my head.

57:04🔗 Drew She said psychological, Jessica Anderson.

57:06🔗 Adam Sound like the F-word, too, but you're all up in your head, Jessica.

57:10🔗 Drew No, this is fine. We deem this sort of a non-problem. It's interesting, and it makes sense, and if it overtakes your ability to have sex with somebody, then I would look into it. But if it's just something that sort of occasionally comes around, no.

57:22🔗 Adam Yeah. When are they going to help out with the fantasizing?

57:27🔗 Drew Help out?

57:29🔗 Adam When is technology really going to kick in?

57:31🔗 Drew So you're going to have a hologram when you think of something?

57:33🔗 Adam Well, first off, the hologram thing was-

57:36🔗 Drew Ten years ago.

57:37🔗 Adam In every house, ten years ago. The plot to every movie just about was some sort of hologram that popped up, and it's like, you're alive, you can't be alive, and then the person, I'm behind you, that kind of thing.

57:49🔗 Drew Right.

57:50🔗 Adam Holograms were going to be a huge part of everyday life according to movies ten years ago. Now, I've not really seen one.

57:58🔗 Drew We got plasma TV instead.

58:00🔗 Adam Right. Now, here's what I'm saying. The picture has gotten bigger. I mean, if you think about pornography or any form of fantasy, pretty much there's more of it, and it's more accessible, and it's sharper, and it's crisper, but you're still sort of standing back and looking at it. You know what I mean?

58:17🔗 Drew So, you want to actually participate in the porn? That's what you're aiming for?

58:22🔗 Adam Yeah, but I'd like to start off as a grip. I don't actually want to get involved with it.

58:26🔗 Drew I guess, what do you mean by that?

58:27🔗 Adam I grip myself.

58:28🔗 Drew That's what I figured.

58:29🔗 Caller Yeah.

58:30🔗 Adam No, what I'm saying is I'm saying like, okay, you used to sit home, you'd watch a movie and just not a porn movie, just a regular movie. Now, there's surround sound and people have subwoofers that could toss a salad and they even have these things you put under your chair where the sofa vibrates and stuff. You're really getting more senses involved than just the visual and just the sound part, okay? I'm looking for that next step pornographically.

59:00🔗 Drew Right.

59:03🔗 Adam That could be interesting. Could be interesting is, okay.

59:07🔗 Drew I'm afraid of what you're gonna say.

59:08🔗 Adam Just listen. Chris, you may want to listen to it, brother.

59:12🔗 Drew I'm listening.

59:13🔗 Adam And listen closely. The, okay, I got a NASA surround sound system with this big subwoofer and the subwoofer's not kicking.

59:22🔗 Drew Oh no.

59:22🔗 Adam No, no, no, hold on. Just listen, just please, would you please? Okay, I'm listening.

59:26🔗 Caller Just listen.

59:27🔗 Adam Just try not to judge for a minute.

59:29🔗 Drew I cannot judge. You're going down a slippery slope.

59:31🔗 Adam It's impossible to judge them. All right. The subwoofer really kicks into overdrive when there's an explosion or bullets fired or something. During conversation, you don't really get anything. What if there was a sort of subwoofer for your pud? Where, and a sort of thing, and not a subwoofer, but something you hooked up to your joint, and it hooked up to the movie or to the system, and when the action got hot and heavy, well, so did the action. You know, the action on your joint mirrored what was going on. Right. So, during the conversation, we'd just be in sort of chub up mode, you know, a little something, just to keep the blood going. When things got hot, when he went to oral, that was a little different sensation. When it went to the anal, tightened up, it's just a drawstring sucked up on it, picked up the pace.

1:00:24🔗 Drew What are we going to call this thing?

1:00:26🔗 Adam You know what I mean?

1:00:26🔗 Drew Yes, yes.

1:00:27🔗 Adam How far off can we be from that?

1:00:28🔗 Drew I bet somebody has that.

1:00:30🔗 Adam Oh, really?

1:00:30🔗 Drew I bet you must be. It must be.

1:00:32🔗 Adam Wow.

1:00:33🔗 Drew I mean, you know how men are.

1:00:35🔗 Adam Wow. I've been scooped.

1:00:37🔗 Drew Don't you think? You know how men are. It's gotta be something.

1:00:40🔗 Adam Now, this is the kind of thing-

1:00:41🔗 Drew They have those latex dolls and things.

1:00:43🔗 Adam Yeah, but this is the kind of thing where you would have to stand up, you'd have to stand up to it. Here's what I'm thinking. Because it'd have to be device. I mean, it'd have to be a donut with different things on it and attachments and you have to refill the lube thing like every 100 hours of use or something like that. But I just mean, it is synced up to the movie. So whatever's going on in the movie is going on in your joint.

1:01:08🔗 Drew It's genius.

1:01:10🔗 Adam Huh?

1:01:10🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:01:11🔗 Adam Chris?

1:01:12🔗 Guest It's a good one.

1:01:14🔗 Adam Thanks, buddy. It's got to be something like that. That would be it.

1:01:19🔗 Drew That would be it. You just would never leave the house?

1:01:21🔗 Adam No.

1:01:21🔗 Drew That would be it. That would be it.

1:01:23🔗 Adam No.

1:01:23🔗 Drew That's it.

1:01:25🔗 Adam You know what would happen is you would go looking for me after four months and you would open my den door in an avalanche of spent Haagen-Dazs containers which would just knock you down. What's going on?

1:01:36🔗 Drew Did I hit you first with the flood of semen?

1:01:39🔗 Adam Semen? No. The semen is not going to be there because I have to have a weep hole for the semen.

1:01:44🔗 Drew What?

1:01:45🔗 Adam Well, I'm going to have a condensation pump like your air conditioner has up on the roof. It just trickles down the side and goes out into the plant.

1:01:54🔗 Drew I see. Okay. Yeah.

1:01:56🔗 Adam Now, it's absorbed. It goes back to the earth from whence it came.

1:02:01🔗 Drew Ashes to ashes.

1:02:03🔗 Adam That's right. Mike?

1:02:04🔗 Guest Yeah.

1:02:05🔗 Adam You're 20?

1:02:06🔗 Guest Yep.

1:02:07🔗 Adam What's up?

1:02:08🔗 Caller All right. Well, I got this kind of a problem. Well, I don't know if you'd really call it a problem, but it kind of gets inconvenient sometimes. But anyway, my girlfriend, when we take a nap and stuff, she'll kind of get a little frisky. She can fully get it on in her sleep and she starts it.

1:02:26🔗 Drew And in her sleep, when she's completely asleep?

1:02:29🔗 Caller Yeah, when she's completely asleep.

1:02:30🔗 Drew Wow.

1:02:31🔗 Caller Yeah, she'll like run her hands over me. She'll like masturbate for me and stuff. She could do oral, she can do everything in her sleep. She'll even climb on top of me.

1:02:43🔗 Drew How do you know she's asleep?

1:02:45🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:02:45🔗 Drew How do you know she's asleep?

1:02:47🔗 Adam Oh, I, yeah.

1:02:48🔗 Caller Cause I've tried to wake her up sometimes and I can't wake her up.

1:02:52🔗 Drew And she has no recluse.

1:02:52🔗 Adam Hold on, wait a second. How can you not wake somebody up?

1:02:58🔗 Caller Oh, I can, but I mean, there's times where it's really hard to wake her up. I can shake her and move her around a lot.

1:03:04🔗 Drew That's a guy, it's a 19 year old, he doesn't care.

1:03:06🔗 Adam Yeah, okay.

1:03:07🔗 Drew He won't try so hard.

1:03:08🔗 Adam Oral sex in the sleep?

1:03:10🔗 Caller Yeah, it's really strange. I mean, I've heard about it before, I heard it can be kind of dangerous, like if he...

1:03:20🔗 Adam There's a bogus quality to this call.

1:03:22🔗 Drew You think he's reporting something he's heard about?

1:03:25🔗 Adam I don't know. It happens. I sort of believe it.

1:03:27🔗 Drew It does happen.

1:03:27🔗 Adam That does sort of happen. All right, Mike.

1:03:32🔗 Drew Mike, what is the question?

1:03:34🔗 Caller Well, I just wonder if there is a possible danger because I've heard that they can become violent in their sleep, and she has because I've tried to restrain her in her sleep doing that, and she becomes violent about it.

1:03:46🔗 Drew What do you mean violent? Just shakes you off?

1:03:48🔗 Caller She goes, well, she'll shove me off the bed or she'll hit me or stuff like that.

1:03:53🔗 Adam Why are you restraining her? She's trying to give you another BJ?

1:03:56🔗 Caller Well, I'm really totally not in the mood sometimes. I just want to sleep because I'm dead tired after whatever.

1:04:03🔗 Adam Sure. I remember what it's like to be 20. Already getting BJs in the middle of the night.

1:04:07🔗 Drew It doesn't sound right. But be that as it may, mostly I concern that people with these kinds of sleep disorders have other kinds of psychiatric conditions or seizure disorders or other things, bipolar disorder, medication reactions, things such as that.

1:04:22🔗 Caller Yeah. I mean, she was, had some problems. She has family problems. Her dad did molest her when she was younger.

1:04:32🔗 Caller All right. Yeah.

1:04:33🔗 Drew So there you go.

1:04:34🔗 Caller Yeah. I was thinking that. I just wonder if there's any specific way to wake her up without hurting her because I've accidentally hurt her a couple of times waking her up.

1:04:40🔗 Drew What do you mean you hurt her? What'd you do?

1:04:41🔗 Adam He used a toaster oven. He'd smash it.

1:04:44🔗 Caller I kind of like shake her a little bit. I try to whisper an ear or one time I accidentally grabbed her arm a little too hard or something. Then she wakes up and goes, What'd you do that for?

1:04:56🔗 Adam How about a squirt gun?

1:04:58🔗 Drew That's an interesting idea.

1:04:59🔗 Adam Gets the cats off the sofa.

1:05:00🔗 Drew That's a good idea. But no matter what, when he wakes her up from a sleep, she's going to be upset and sort of accusing him, Why'd you let her sleep?

1:05:11🔗 Adam She's trying to assault him sexually. That's why.

1:05:14🔗 Drew I see. He wants to know how to... Well, he can go sleep in another room.

1:05:16🔗 Adam Well, he needs to... You know what he needs is, he needs like a broomstick for her to suck on or something like that. He's got to substitute his penis for something.

1:05:25🔗 Drew A stunt penis?

1:05:26🔗 Adam Something. I could lend him Ron Jeremy's penis. I have it at home.

1:05:31🔗 Drew It'd be nice if you sent it to him because then your housekeeper wouldn't keep finding it and wondering what in the hell goes on when she's not around.

1:05:37🔗 Adam God only knows what that woman thinks. God only knows.

1:05:40🔗 Drew After she cracks the socks over her knee.

1:05:43🔗 Adam God only knows. So here's the thing, obviously this woman has emotional problems. She needs to see somebody.

1:05:51🔗 Drew Essentially all cases where I've seen or heard about this, there's something really substantial going on side-catch.

1:05:55🔗 Adam Should you go to the college to have this checked out?

1:06:00🔗 Drew Is she in college?

1:06:02🔗 Adam No she's not in college.

1:06:03🔗 Drew But you said go to the college. What do you mean?

1:06:04🔗 Adam Go to the college, not your college.

1:06:07🔗 Drew What does that mean? Do you mean a university?

1:06:09🔗 Adam A university.

1:06:10🔗 Drew Well, not necessarily, just any psychiatrist should be able to handle it.

1:06:13🔗 Adam Yeah, but they don't have any money. Mike?

1:06:15🔗 Guest Yeah.

1:06:16🔗 Adam What do you do for a living?

1:06:18🔗 Caller Right now I'm unemployed, looking for a job.

1:06:20🔗 Adam Shocking, shocking.

1:06:21🔗 Caller Right now?

1:06:21🔗 Adam Right now. And then, it's never right now, I'm a cardiologist. And your gal pal, what does she do?

1:06:32🔗 Caller She's actually still in high school. She's a senior too.

1:06:37🔗 Drew You think that's a little weird, Mike?

1:06:41🔗 Adam Well, he's unemployed, so it's sort of like he's in high school. When you get a job, you got a dumper, Mike. You need to take her where? You're calling from Iowa, right?

1:06:51🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:06:52🔗 Adam Is the university around there somewhere?

1:06:54🔗 Caller Oh yeah. Iowa State. Go Cyclones.

1:06:57🔗 Adam Okay.

1:06:58🔗 Drew Cyclones?

1:06:59🔗 Adam Yeah. They invented Cyclone Fencing. It was the other part of Iowa.

1:07:02🔗 Drew I thought it was a chicken or something. Was it a sage hen?

1:07:07🔗 Adam Was a what hen?

1:07:08🔗 Drew Iowa State. Was it like a sage hen or something?

1:07:10🔗 Adam No, it's a Hawkeye.

1:07:11🔗 Drew Hawkeye. Iowa State. Why do you say go?

1:07:14🔗 Adam Cyclones. It's a different Iowa school. Mike? Yeah. What Iowa school are you talking about?

1:07:20🔗 Caller Iowa State University out of Ames. They have their rivalries. There's Iowa Hawkeyes and Iowa State Cyclones.

1:07:28🔗 Adam Yeah, but isn't Iowa Hawkeyes Iowa State too?

1:07:32🔗 Caller No, it's a different university.

1:07:34🔗 Drew We have three- It's University of Iowa and that is Iowa State.

1:07:37🔗 Adam Oh, Hawkeyes are University of Iowa, right? Yeah.

1:07:40🔗 Drew I thought Iowa State was a big bird or something. No.

1:07:42🔗 Adam All right. There's a cyclone.

1:07:44🔗 Drew All right. Anyway, Mike, look, I don't know if there's a medical school there though.

1:07:48🔗 Adam Bring her in anyway.

1:07:49🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:07:51🔗 Adam All right. Was it Iowa that invented barbed wires? That was DeKalb.

1:07:56🔗 Drew Northern Illinois.

1:07:57🔗 Adam Northern Illinois. Near Iowa. Yeah.

1:07:59🔗 Drew A little bit.

1:08:00🔗 Adam Didn't we go from DeKalb to Iowa or from Iowa to DeKalb?

1:08:05🔗 Drew I think we went to Northern Iowa and to Drake and outside Des Moines.

1:08:10🔗 Adam Oh, yeah. So we didn't go from DeKalb to Iowa.

1:08:15🔗 Drew All right.

1:08:15🔗 Adam Well, good times. April?

1:08:17🔗 Guest Yes.

1:08:18🔗 Adam You're 23?

1:08:19🔗 Guest Yes, I am.

1:08:20🔗 Adam What's up?

1:08:23🔗 Caller Well, you already know because if you wouldn't have taken my call. But anyway, every time, well, not, no, not let me correct myself. Not every time. But every time I give myself, almost every time, I have a sharp pain in the fat tissue right where my uterus is. I know it's not my uterus because I would be able to tell, I suppose.

1:08:44🔗 Drew But how could you tell?

1:08:47🔗 Caller Well, it's just to the right of my lower belly button.

1:08:52🔗 Drew Yeah. Well, see, there's all kinds of things that can spasm in there.

1:08:56🔗 Guest But I mean, it just feels really close to the surface, though.

1:08:59🔗 Drew All right. So maybe it's the abdominal wall musculature that's spasming.

1:09:04🔗 Caller And, well, and also I haven't really had that many organisms and it's never happened with a man. And I've had at least maybe four or five with a man, so.

1:09:14🔗 Adam So what's the hypothesis here? What's the question?

1:09:17🔗 Caller I'm just wondering what could it be? Because I know it's not, I don't think that it's in my, in any of my organs.

1:09:24🔗 Drew All right. Then it's in the abdominal wall musculature and people can get pain there. It happens.

1:09:28🔗 Caller But I've never, I only feel it when I have an orgasm, though. I mean, that's.

1:09:32🔗 Drew That's right. That's when the muscles spasm. If you don't have cysts, you don't have an infection, you don't have problems with the, you know, there's some ligaments that hold the uterus up, they can get painful too, but they actually usually refer pain down into the leg. The abdominal wall, if it's really superficial like that, it's the muscle in the abdominal wall.

1:09:47🔗 Caller All right.

1:09:48🔗 Adam So don't worry about it.

1:09:49🔗 Drew Do not worry about it.

1:09:50🔗 Caller All right.

1:09:50🔗 Adam Let's talk to Mike who's 19. Mike?

1:09:54🔗 Yeah.

1:09:55🔗 Adam What's up?

1:09:56🔗 Well, actually the thing is, okay, well, me and my girlfriend have sex. It doesn't feel for good for her. It doesn't feel good for her at all.

1:10:06🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:10:06🔗 And the only way that she can get off is she'll have to haunt me with my clothes on cause I'm quick and that's the only way I won't have one. And I was wondering if that was weird that, you know, intercourse doesn't feel good for her at all.

1:10:21🔗 Drew Well, not that it doesn't feel good for her. It just doesn't lead to an orgasm.

1:10:24🔗 Well, no, no, it doesn't feel good for her at all. Like she gets no pleasure whatsoever.

1:10:29🔗 Drew That's got to be a nice twist.

1:10:32🔗 Adam Yeah, she put quite a fine point on that. She really drives that home, huh?

1:10:38🔗 Guest Yeah.

1:10:39🔗 And it's kind of like, okay, thanks for telling me.

1:10:43🔗 Drew Isn't there any way you can get her to do the same maneuver while your penis is inside? No.

1:10:50🔗 I mean, we've tried it, but no, she has to like rub up against it with me, with my clothes on, so I don't have one.

1:10:58🔗 Drew So the problem is he goes off if she starts moving around too much.

1:11:03🔗 Adam Now, do you have to do this before you have sex, or do you just put one of your legs and one of your pant legs and let her have at it while you watch TV?

1:11:12🔗 Oh, I mean like, no, you usually, I mean, I'll get down just to my boxers and then she'll kind of, you know, just haunt me and then when she's done, I'll go at it.

1:11:23🔗 Drew Yeah, this is not, you're not syncing up.

1:11:26🔗 Guest Yeah.

1:11:26🔗 Drew You guys gotta kind of figure this out a little bit.

1:11:27🔗 Adam How about some oral sex for her?

1:11:30🔗 I tried it.

1:11:31🔗 Guest Hmm?

1:11:32🔗 Adam Not a fan?

1:11:34🔗 I've gone, with both, I've gone, well, with oral, I've gone for about 30 minutes, nothing, and with hand, I've gone for about an hour, nothing.

1:11:43🔗 Adam Really?

1:11:43🔗 Drew Yeah, but...

1:11:44🔗 I mean, she gets pleasure from it, but can't get her to orgasm.

1:11:48🔗 Adam And so the part where she drives home, the point that she has no pleasure out of you engaging in intercourse with her seems sort of mean-spirited. Does she have some energy toward men? Does she not like her dad? Does she have something in that department?

1:12:04🔗 No. I mean, we've just been together for like three and a half years.

1:12:08🔗 Drew Yeah. That's what this is. Yeah. I get that feeling straight away.

1:12:11🔗 Caller Oh, really? All right.

1:12:12🔗 Adam Well, it's done.

1:12:13🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:12:13🔗 Caller This is a-

1:12:15🔗 Drew Yeah, Mike, this may not be what you think it is. This is a relationship that's gone on longer than it should have, basically.

1:12:23🔗 Adam Mike, are you planning on marrying her?

1:12:25🔗 I mean, I'm not planning on it. If it happens, it happens, but-

1:12:29🔗 Drew Oh, that's, again, another ringing endorsement for this relationship.

1:12:32🔗 Adam You should write greeting cards.

1:12:34🔗 Drew Or maybe some Harlequin novels, romance novels.

1:12:36🔗 Adam Yeah. The picture on the cover would just be a guy with sort of a pot belly wearing a t-shirt and-

1:12:42🔗 Drew Shrouding of shoulders.

1:12:43🔗 Adam Jockey shorts and slippers.

1:12:45🔗 Drew Yeah. Just going, eh?

1:12:46🔗 Adam Eh?

1:12:47🔗 Eh.

1:12:48🔗 Drew No, Mike, this is the thing about being 15 and getting involved. I think they were 15 when they got going. Now they're 19. They've been together all of their post-puberty life. They aren't syncing up sexually. She's frustrated and kind of angry. You're mystified and can't understand things.

1:13:05🔗 Adam Mike.

1:13:06🔗 Yeah.

1:13:07🔗 Adam It's time for some new blood for both of you.

1:13:12🔗 Isn't there anything, any other reason? No. Well-

1:13:16🔗 Drew No, it's not. You're calling upon years of wisdom here. There are things we can do to solve your problem, but it's not going to solve your problem.

1:13:22🔗 Adam We're just saying it for your own good. It's just, you're already, I mean, I don't know what you do about it. I mean, if you're a kid, one of your kids, and you're a clingy guy, Drew, one of your kids is bound to get clingy, hook up with some sweetheart from high school, and hang on with both hands through college. I can hear the conversation now already. She got accepted to San Diego State. He was going to Stanford, your son, but he's decided to go to San Diego State. He could be next to Sherry. You going out of your ever loving mind.

1:13:58🔗 Drew Anderson, where's that gunshot drop?

1:13:59🔗 Adam Big, big blowout because he's going to be an Aztec, and instead of a carton-

1:14:05🔗 Drew Keep going.

1:14:05🔗 Adam And you're going insane. He's saying, you can't tell me about love, can't control me anymore. I'm not, yeah, and all that stuff. And then what do you do? What do you do? You just put a hit on her, you pay her off, you move her out of the country. I mean, they've been together for three and a half years. He's now basing his decisions based on where she's moving.

1:14:27🔗 Drew And then what we don't get to hear about is this kind of stuff going on behind the scenes. She's, she's not paying. He's fresh. She's frustrated. They can't, they can't, they can't.

1:14:35🔗 Adam She only orgasms on this sofa pillow.

1:14:39🔗 Drew He orgasms in four seconds.

1:14:41🔗 Adam Yeah. Well, maybe we'll share that with you. Let me get lucky.

1:14:45🔗 Oh, my God.

1:14:46🔗 Adam The point is, is what do you do? The kid's gonna do it. Like, you can't tell some 19-year-old, look, you guys been together since your 10th grade year in high school. It's time to call, time to break it off.

1:14:58🔗 Drew You know what? No one ever tells them that either.

1:15:00🔗 Adam But what about, what about this, Drew? Tell me if you think this is morally wrong. Sabotage. What if someone had sabotaged your relationship with your clinging relationship in junior, you know, in high school that went on too long into college?

1:15:16🔗 Drew Had sabotaged it?

1:15:17🔗 Adam Well, I don't, I don't mean cut the break lines. There are cars that are over a cliff into the ocean.

1:15:23🔗 Drew But a well-placed bullet?

1:15:25🔗 Adam No, what I'm saying is, is your dad got involved. Okay, for my dad it would be impossible because I'd have to take three, four guys to lift the sofa just to get them out of the house. I'd just be carried around.

1:15:36🔗 Drew Like with the Egyptian king.

1:15:37🔗 Adam He'd like clear a path and I would move around on the sofa. Because he wouldn't get off the sofa. But then just somebody gets involved. Like your dad gets involved, it's like, look, this chick's playing, playing my son like a fiddle. He's all up in his head. He can't even focus anymore. His grades are dropping. I can see he's depressed, he's running him around. He's too spineless, he can't make a move. What if somebody got involved? What if your dad went and talked to her and said, look, there's 10 grand cash for you if you never, or got a guy involved to cheat on her with and make sure you would find out about it or something like that?

1:16:13🔗 Drew Nothing brutal like that.

1:16:14🔗 Adam That's brutal. Okay. But how about something?

1:16:17🔗 Drew Something.

1:16:17🔗 Adam You know, you know it's in your son or daughter's best interests ultimately. Wow. Just the fact that you're seriously considering it means you've thrown your Hippocratic oath out the window, Drew. No.

1:16:31🔗 Drew I was thinking about what if someone had done that to me?

1:16:32🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:16:33🔗 Drew That's what I was thinking about.

1:16:34🔗 Adam Well, now, hindsight, you wouldn't...

1:16:37🔗 Drew Well, I'm trying to figure out how I would have responded to that.

1:16:39🔗 Adam Well, if you found out, you would have been immediately resentful.

1:16:43🔗 Drew Yeah. But I was so clinging and so relentless. Who knows?

1:16:46🔗 Adam No. You would have hated your father forever.

1:16:49🔗 Drew Oh, if you found out. But I would have just blown right past it.

1:16:52🔗 Adam Well, whatever. They would have had to put up a sufficient roadblock that you couldn't get by.

1:16:57🔗 Drew Right.

1:16:57🔗 Adam You couldn't get over. You couldn't navigate with your four-wheel drive insecurity. Drew will go off road with his insecurity. There's nothing that can't stop him. He's like an M1 tank with no obstacles, fallen trees. Who cares? Boulders, mud.

1:17:12🔗 Drew Right over it.

1:17:13🔗 Adam Oh. But the point is, now you would be saying it would have been the right thing, right? It would have been good.

1:17:19🔗 Drew Oh, yes.

1:17:20🔗 Adam Okay. All right. I'm just saying. You know, you may have to think about that. We'll take ourselves a quick break. Be right back after this.

1:17:28🔗 Caller Yeah, it's the Loveline of Adam.

1:17:30🔗 Adam That's Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-LOVE-191-ER. Drew. Yep. Do that Saw thing.

1:17:39🔗 Drew Yeah. For everyone who calls in tonight that's over 18 gets a free DVD version of Saw. Every puzzle has its pieces.

1:17:47🔗 Adam That's true.

1:17:48🔗 Drew A film critic say it's the creepiest horror flick since 7. Or Se, number, that is too weird.

1:17:55🔗 Adam Yeah, I know. It's Se7en. Yeah. I don't know why they would write it that way. What percentage of the things that are handed to us to read on air and presumably verbatim on air have either just huge grammatical errors or typos or confusing at best?

1:18:15🔗 Drew What percent?

1:18:16🔗 Adam Yeah, what percent?

1:18:16🔗 Drew Ninety-nine.

1:18:18🔗 Adam That's ninety. Okay, ninety. I was just going to say about ninety-seven.

1:18:22🔗 Drew Okay, ninety-seven. Okay.

1:18:23🔗 Adam Yeah. There's not anything I've been handed in ten years that I've been told to read on air that didn't need a whole bunch of work.

1:18:31🔗 Drew Oh, well, that was a sorry. So, Danny Glover, Kerry Elways and everyone over eighteen who calls in and gets on the air will get one of these and then qualify for a drawing for a trip to Derbyshire, England to see Bloodstock.

1:18:44🔗 In defense of that copy, though, Seven, actually that is the name of it.

1:18:47🔗 Drew I'm sure of it, but the fact is we're reading something. You know what I mean? We're supposed to read a word.

1:18:52🔗 Adam Yeah, you need to put the movie logo.

1:18:53🔗 Drew Not a logo. You know what they... They just stuck a logo of a company we're supposed to read the name of and expect us to come up with the name. It's like, huh?

1:19:03🔗 Adam It's like saying Virgin Atlantic, except you just have a picture of a chick on a tail fin of a plane. Yeah, big V with the chick on the tail of the plane. All right, you ready to go?

1:19:14🔗 Drew Here we go.

1:19:15🔗 Adam We're ready to go. Let's go. Steve?

1:19:18🔗 Yep.

1:19:18🔗 Adam 27?

1:19:19🔗 Yep.

1:19:20🔗 Adam What's up?

1:19:22🔗 Basically, okay, I've been with my girlfriend for a while for a little over three years and sex is good, but every time, the more our relationship progresses, she has to drink, she has to be drinking or be drunk to really get into it. And anytime I suggest or, you know, we try, I try to like say, hey, let's do it, let's have a good time. And we're not drinking, she's just so standoffish and it's like I'm, I'm almost like, you know, violating her in some way. She's just so put off by sex unless she has had drinks and it's so frustrating.

1:20:03🔗 Adam Well, you got booze? She's her up and goes, my buddy Louise says.

1:20:09🔗 Drew Is there something happened to her where she'd be anxious about sex?

1:20:12🔗 Um, I'm not that I'm aware of, no.

1:20:15🔗 Adam How much drinking does she do? How much does she have to consume?

1:20:19🔗 Not too much, you know, like if we go out, it's like two or three drinks or four having beers at home, you know, it's like, um, we'll split a six pack or maybe a little bit more.

1:20:28🔗 Drew Is she nervous? Is she worried about how her body looks or something such as that? Is there something else going on here that you can sort of zero in on?

1:20:34🔗 Adam Maybe she's worried about how Steve's body looks.

1:20:37🔗 Drew Oh, yeah, she needs beer goggles.

1:20:41🔗 Yeah, I don't know. I really couldn't tell you.

1:20:43🔗 Adam What about the lights? Does she want the lights off?

1:20:45🔗 No, no, no, it's nothing to do with that because, well, you know, then when, you know, then when we have a little bit of alcohol going and then she fully gets pretty crazy, like, you know, in a good way, not too outlandish.

1:20:58🔗 Drew What we're saying, when she's not drinking, does she want the lights off?

1:21:03🔗 No, no, I mean, I know she doesn't really like her body too much.

1:21:07🔗 Drew They live in Laguna Beach, they walk around bathing suits all the time.

1:21:09🔗 Adam Is she self-conscious? Like, if she was taking a shower and you walk.

1:21:14🔗 Caller Yeah, she's more self-conscious, yeah. She's definitely more self-conscious.

1:21:16🔗 Adam Hold on, I can't express a thought because Steve's on top of me, but I'm trying to figure out if it's a self-conscious thing where, like, if she was in the shower and he walked into the bathroom with.

1:21:28🔗 Drew She'd be modest.

1:21:28🔗 Adam She'd be, like, kind of clear out of here.

1:21:30🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:21:31🔗 Adam You know what I'm saying?

1:21:31🔗 Drew Yeah, she's modest or, yeah.

1:21:33🔗 Adam I'll try to pose that. Steve?

1:21:35🔗 Guest Yep.

1:21:36🔗 Adam So if she was taking a shower and you walked in the bathroom, what would she do?

1:21:43🔗 Caller Typically, I think, you know, if she hasn't been drinking or anything, she's more, covers herself with a towel, maybe a little bit, you know, she always says, I'm a little chunky. That type of thing. I always bolster her, though. I always say like, oh, you know, you're really beautiful. Like, I mean, I like her body. I don't, she's not, you know, a perfect 10, but it doesn't bother me.

1:22:01🔗 Adam Okay.

1:22:02🔗 Drew But women are funny that way. They feel like they can't be sexual.

1:22:04🔗 Adam Yeah, all right, well, we're starting to get to the bottom of this. And it may be her bottom and it may be a little too big. She feels self-conscious. She thinks she's a little overweight. It doesn't bother you, but women, that doesn't need to, it doesn't matter what you think or don't think. Yeah, and you know how women are bad at math? They're bad at this kind of math, too. It's like, here's the math, sweetie cheeks. You're humping one guy, and that one guy happens to be a guy who likes a little extra ass. Therefore, math problem solved.

1:22:38🔗 Drew No math problems.

1:22:39🔗 Adam Zero problem. Yeah, not for chicks. Doesn't work that way.

1:22:43🔗 Drew Because of course, what do I look like to other women?

1:22:46🔗 Adam So, all right, Steve, you're sort of answering your own question, which is, or we're forcing you to answer it.

1:22:53🔗 Drew It's weird, though, that living in, I mean, you guys live in Laguna proper?

1:22:57🔗 Caller I live, well, I rent an apartment, yeah, in Laguna Beach. She lives in San Clemente, actually.

1:23:02🔗 Adam I don't want you to think everyone's a pro volleyball player.

1:23:04🔗 Drew People just walk around Bay News all the time there. They think they'd feel comfortable if they could see them.

1:23:08🔗 Adam Well, she doesn't do that, then.

1:23:09🔗 Caller Yeah, I'm originally from the East Coast, and, I mean, she's born and raised in California, but.

1:23:14🔗 Adam All right. Well, you've adopted the Hescher.

1:23:17🔗 Drew You certainly have the, yes, you've got it. You sound like a daughter from Huntington Beach.

1:23:22🔗 Adam Perfect. Here's how you get that voice, by the way. You have to do 2,500 bong loads or get hit in the head once with a skim board. Right. Either way, you'll get that sound.

1:23:35🔗 Drew Usually it's more than one hit. Usually a couple of hits.

1:23:37🔗 Adam The skim board?

1:23:37🔗 Drew Yeah, yeah.

1:23:38🔗 Adam Yeah, you may be right. Twice with a zippy board. Yeah. Drew, remember the zippy board?

1:23:43🔗 Drew Oh, yes.

1:23:44🔗 Adam Those are the hollowed out ones.

1:23:46🔗 Drew The blue ones with the handles.

1:23:47🔗 Adam Yeah, they would fill up with water in the pool.

1:23:49🔗 Caller Because they had a spout in the front. Why? I don't know.

1:23:53🔗 Adam How about we just make a flotation device that doesn't have a hole in it?

1:23:56🔗 Caller Right.

1:23:57🔗 Adam I know. And it's like, yeah, but Herb, this thing's got a drainage thing. Yeah. When I'm saying Phil's, there's no hole at all. Well, how are we going to drain it? Phil, you're not listening. This was the predecessor to the boogie board. It was this blue hard plastic thing.

1:24:19🔗 Drew Hollow.

1:24:19🔗 Adam Had a picture of a whale on it, I think.

1:24:21🔗 Drew On the front, on the top here.

1:24:23🔗 Adam It was called the ziffy board. It was... Well, first off, it was exactly the color of the ocean.

1:24:29🔗 Drew Once it went down, you never found it.

1:24:30🔗 Adam If you ever lost a grip on it, it was gone.

1:24:32🔗 Drew And it will always have just enough water in it to sink. Always.

1:24:36🔗 Adam It had a hole in the front of it with a little plastic knockout.

1:24:40🔗 Drew It looked like something you'd like... like we'd blow up a raft. That kind of thing on the tip. Well, no.

1:24:45🔗 Adam Not exactly. This was more of like...

1:24:47🔗 Drew A plain old hole, but it had always had a...

1:24:49🔗 Adam A little rubber thing on the end of it.

1:24:50🔗 Drew It had a stopper in it.

1:24:51🔗 Adam A little stopper that had a hole in it, though, so it would fill up... If you played around with it in the pool for more than half a day, it would eventually fill up with water and you'd have to take it out and squirt it all out. You'd have to squirt it out like one of those dolls that wet. Sort of squeeze on it, except for half the pool was in it. And I just thought... You know, I was seven and I thought, what a hole put... Decided to make this thing hollow and put these holes in it.

1:25:16🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:25:17🔗 Adam Yeah? Yeah. All right.

1:25:19🔗 Drew I'm with you.

1:25:20🔗 Adam All right. Where are we? Drew, hip to the Ziffy boy.

1:25:23🔗 Drew Oh, are you kidding? Anything with oceans and water, I was into in my day.

1:25:26🔗 Adam All right.

1:25:27🔗 Drew How's his lifeguard down there? Laguna Laguna Beach. How's his lifeguard?

1:25:29🔗 Adam So the point is, is she's self-conscious about her look.

1:25:34🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:25:34🔗 Adam That's why she needs a couple of belts.

1:25:36🔗 Drew It seems like it because she's not drinking alcoholically. It doesn't feel like that. She has no abuse or trauma history. It's just she doesn't feel comfortable.

1:25:42🔗 Adam Right. So now what's the proper answer? And I think guys put their foot in their mouth when they do that. Honey, I don't mind.

1:25:50🔗 Drew I like you.

1:25:51🔗 Adam I like you. Yeah. I don't need to be with a ten. That kind of stuff. Like, look, I don't care what other people don't like. I don't mind it. That kind of thing. And their heart is in the right place, but the woman is just hearing this just sounds like so much charity. You have to just say you're beautiful. No matter what they say if they keep saying you're beautiful, you can't qualify it with.

1:26:17🔗 Caller I like it.

1:26:18🔗 Adam I don't care what the rest of North America thinks. I like it. I don't care if it's just me and several thousand black men. I don't care. We like, I mean, they, I mean, me and the brothers, we dig that kind of bill. I don't like that super hot and sleek and sexy look. Yeah? I like a pacer, not a jaguar.

1:26:44🔗 Drew That was showing that people that have poverty or sort of worse, have trouble worrying about food and money and things seriously. When they grow up like heavy women, they feel like they're replete, like there's no worry, they're not going to starve to death tomorrow if you don't get up a meal.

1:27:03🔗 Adam So, with the brother man, something interesting.

1:27:07🔗 Drew Maybe it's not the brothers, maybe it's just people generally that come from lower...

1:27:10🔗 Adam Well, look at it this way. Let's look at it this way. Your ancestors are from a place where people are walking around, you're seeing veins in their stomachs. You know what I mean? I mean, they're walking 20 miles, get a gourd full of water. You show me a fat person in that region, I'll show you someone who's doing pretty good. You just look up to them.

1:27:31🔗 Drew Yes, exactly.

1:27:32🔗 Adam This must be the king, they must have something, they must be successful.

1:27:36🔗 Drew And again, look at primates, look at the big leader monkeys in the troops.

1:27:40🔗 Adam Right.

1:27:40🔗 Drew They're big old, big heavy ones.

1:27:42🔗 Adam Right. Yeah, and then you got Paris Hilton. What I mean is, the family has a ton of money, and you just want to do some coke and maybe a little heroin, but you're not even interested in eating. You know what I mean? It's kind of interesting that the chicks especially, they come from just have all the money in the world, just not so interested in eating.

1:28:02🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:28:04🔗 Adam Sort of passe, it's boring.

1:28:06🔗 Drew Right.

1:28:06🔗 Adam They could get whatever they wanted. They'd rather do it.

1:28:08🔗 Drew Probably the same way about sex.

1:28:09🔗 Adam Smoke a little heroin and dance a little.

1:28:11🔗 Drew Right. It's like they need higher levels of arousal, like that stuff is somehow satiated when the brain was forming.

1:28:19🔗 Adam Well, listen, poor chicks are three times the size as rich chicks.

1:28:23🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:28:25🔗 Adam I mean, especially in this country.

1:28:27🔗 Drew You could argue that that's just the nature of the diet that they take in.

1:28:30🔗 Adam Well, that's some of it. I mean, they're eating 70 corn tortillas a day and lots of lard and all that kind of crap and loaves of white bread.

1:28:38🔗 Drew Which again, if you're only able to afford limited amounts of food, you're going to go for the food with the highest calorie content.

1:28:45🔗 Adam Well, and it's just the cheapest. You just get Kraft macaroni and cheese at 39 cents.

1:28:50🔗 Drew It becomes that in this country. That's what it becomes.

1:28:54🔗 Adam You go to McDonald's, you hit the 99-cent menu. You're in Fat City, pardon the pun. Whereas sushi, not so strong calorically, in a little expensive calorie for the buck. Yes? All right. There's that, but it's also, they eat. I don't think rich chicks are that much into eating. I just don't think, I think they'd rather do other things. They'd rather do a little heroin, go to an art opening. All right. We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back after this. It's Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. Let me get back to the phones. And, you know, I always say, by the way, Drew and I were talking about TV during the break. I always say I have minus seven stars. I think it's the New York Times or the Post or something. Yeah, one show I did was minus four stars. And the other show I did was minus three stars. It was pointed out to me by one of my partners the other day that it was three and a half stars. It was minus.

1:30:00🔗 Drew Oh, so you're minus seven and a half then? Yeah. You got to have two four-star shows just to get to zero.

1:30:07🔗 Adam It's got to be funny if you're doing two shows, and they're like, look, there's a publication. It's a large national publication, and it runs on the star rating system. Of course, one star being, well, zero stars being the lowest and four being the highest. Now, you've done two shows. Give me the combined number that you think those two shows would have garnered in the star department. I'd be like, well, if I got three stars each show, I'd have to feel pretty good about that. But maybe one show got two stars and the other got three. I'll say five stars, five stars, minus seven and a half. I'd be like, what?

1:30:49🔗 Drew They'd be confused.

1:30:51🔗 Adam I'm 12 and a half stars off out of a possible eight stars. It's like the highest you could have gotten is eight.

1:31:00🔗 Drew You're 16 off.

1:31:02🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:31:02🔗 Drew Yeah, that's good.

1:31:03🔗 Adam Well, three and a half, Drew. Yeah. I think it was The Man Show and Red-Handed. I think it was another show that I had nothing to do with. I just took a little voice over money. Nothing wrong with that.

1:31:15🔗 Drew Yeah. People have been talking about nothing but that since.

1:31:18🔗 Caller Well, look.

1:31:19🔗 Drew Who remembers that show? Nobody.

1:31:21🔗 Adam Let me explain something.

1:31:22🔗 Caller Did you ever see it though?

1:31:24🔗 Drew Who remembers it?

1:31:25🔗 Adam I do. Nobody remembers it.

1:31:27🔗 Drew Who cares? That's right.

1:31:28🔗 Adam Here's the point. I'm in this for the money. I ain't in this for artistic pride or any of that crap. Do not kid yourselves, people. And here's the deal. All work you should be into for the money. Yeah. Yeah. No, I'm not talking about smuggling munitions. You don't want to give stinger missiles to Shiite Muslims, which is cosmically not quite as bad as doing the voiceover for Red-Handed. But the point is, is give me the box. You know what I'm saying?

1:32:02🔗 Drew By the way, you had nothing to do with the production. I just read some stuff.

1:32:06🔗 Adam It's still a little VO work. Thanks, man. Norma?

1:32:09🔗 Guest Yes.

1:32:10🔗 Adam You're 24?

1:32:11🔗 Guest Yeah. What's up? I just wanted to ask about my current relationship. I've been with my boyfriend for about a year and a half now. And I still have not been able to have sex with him.

1:32:28🔗 Drew How come?

1:32:30🔗 Guest At first, I thought it was just because I wasn't comfortable with him. And he was okay with that. And then he would start asking me, well, can we now? And I was like, well, no, I don't want to.

1:32:45🔗 Adam Here's how it would go, too, by the way. Can we have sex now?

1:32:47🔗 Drew Please?

1:32:48🔗 Caller No, no, no.

1:32:51🔗 Adam How about now? No, not just yet. Now? No, no. Well, how about now? Now?

1:33:04🔗 Drew Now is when you start the begging, too.

1:33:05🔗 Adam Yeah, then I start with the machine gun now. How about now? How about now? How about now? How about now? How about now? How about now? Eventually, the words lose meaning. It just sounds like I'm saying, how about now? How about now? How about now? How about now? How about now?

1:33:18🔗 Caller How about now?

1:33:19🔗 Adam Yeah. So, Norma, what's wrong with you beside being named Norma?

1:33:25🔗 Caller What's going on?

1:33:27🔗 Guest Yeah. When he asked me, well, why can't you? I always just say, well, I just don't feel like it sometimes.

1:33:35🔗 Drew There's basically two possibilities here. You're freaked out. No, wait a minute. It's two possibilities. Either she's not into him or she is a trauma survivor and she went through a big period of excessive sexual activity and this is a guy she could actually be close to and we'll have none of that now.

1:33:51🔗 Adam What's up, Norma?

1:33:52🔗 Guest Well, I did come out of a relationship for about four years and everything was fine there, but he ended up cheating on me and I thought I was okay because I hadn't been with anyone for like five months until I met him.

1:34:08🔗 Adam Listen, were you ever abused?

1:34:10🔗 Guest No.

1:34:11🔗 Adam And everything's fine on the home front?

1:34:14🔗 Guest Yeah, everything's great.

1:34:16🔗 Adam Okay. How many guys have you been with?

1:34:18🔗 Guest Five.

1:34:19🔗 Adam Okay. Why don't you just make it six? He's a good guy.

1:34:24🔗 Guest I really do want to. And the reason I'm really having a problem with this now, last week, he was over at my house and I told him I wanted to and we were almost going to. And then he says, I can't.

1:34:41🔗 Drew Yeah, because he just, which he said, we might do it. Wet hand. That was the end of that.

1:34:46🔗 Guest Well, I told him, I said, why not? And he says, well, because I don't have a condom. And I said, well, I do. And then he pretty much put his pants on and said, let's go have dinner.

1:35:02🔗 Drew What?

1:35:03🔗 Guest So now I feel like.

1:35:05🔗 Adam All right. Here's what's going on. First off, once in a blue moon, a guy will do that payback thing, or at least perceive payback. Yeah. You've been jerking me around for 18 months and now I'm going to try to pay you back.

1:35:19🔗 Caller Right.

1:35:20🔗 Drew That's a bad move.

1:35:21🔗 Adam I've tried that too. It's like, I'm paying you back. All right. That's enough. Start blowing me. How about now?

1:35:28🔗 Drew And now?

1:35:29🔗 Adam Now?

1:35:29🔗 Drew Now? Now?

1:35:30🔗 Adam I'll tell you when payback time is over. It's over now. You'll know payback time is over because, okay, it's done. I don't even get through my payback time speech before I'd have to cut it off. Yeah. What's good for the goose is good. Okay, let me get my pants off.

1:35:46🔗 Drew But you remember.

1:35:47🔗 Adam Let me tell you something. Payback's a bit, okay, I'll take my pants off. Drew, you wouldn't even get into that.

1:35:54🔗 Caller Aha!

1:35:55🔗 Adam You know, William Shakespeare said, turn about is fair, I gotta take my pants off.

1:36:01🔗 Caller Aha!

1:36:02🔗 Adam Doesn't feel so good, gotta get my pants off. I see. Well, maybe I'm not, okay, I gotta get my pants off.

1:36:12🔗 Caller Isn't that how it would go?

1:36:14🔗 Drew Yeah, even if the words aren't spoken, that's what will be happening.

1:36:16🔗 Adam Yeah, you'd just be like, I want you to sit for a minute and live with what? Okay, I gotta take my pants off. That's how it would go. Something's up with him. Something's up with Norma, too. She sounds depressed and sort of untrusting.

1:36:30🔗 Drew I used to imagine him as one of the sort of angry, slippery guys, you know?

1:36:34🔗 Adam Okay, how about this? You've been with a guy for a year and a half, although God knows what kind of relationships you've been having for a year and a half.

1:36:42🔗 Drew Two adults.

1:36:43🔗 Adam Two adults, right. You want to find out how old he is?

1:36:47🔗 Drew Yeah, 65.

1:36:50🔗 Guest And I live at home.

1:36:54🔗 Drew How old is he?

1:36:55🔗 Guest He's 25.

1:36:56🔗 Adam You both sound arrested. And hold your ears, Chris, for a second. Anyone 25 years of age who's living at home. But by the way, Drew, once you get to 29, it's okay again.

1:37:07🔗 Drew It's your background.

1:37:08🔗 Adam It's cool, yeah.

1:37:09🔗 Drew You're 16 again, yeah.

1:37:10🔗 Adam That's right. Because like I said, Chris, you make it to 31, and your mom's living... I'm taking care of my mom. Your mom's living with you at that point.

1:37:18🔗 Guest Well, I just moved back home, because I had money problems.

1:37:22🔗 Adam I understand.

1:37:22🔗 Guest I just get home all the time.

1:37:24🔗 Adam Okay, Norma, you sound depressed, and it sounds like life is confusing and overwhelming to you. I would say... I would say you have a conversation with this guy, like the two adults you are, about where this relationship is heading. All right.

1:37:41🔗 Drew There we go.

1:37:42🔗 Caller There we go.

1:37:44🔗 Adam Let's take a break. We'll be right back after this. Yeah! Well, there you go. A show that's going to end on time. No way.

1:37:58🔗 Drew No way. I won't be serious.

1:38:00🔗 Adam Yeah. We'll take a little extendo break, and we'll be back tomorrow night. And until next time, it's Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew saying, mahalo.

1:38:08🔗 Drew He's gay.

1:38:09🔗 Adam Wow.

1:38:10🔗 Caller No, I'm not gay, Anderson.

1:38:11🔗 Adam All right.

1:38:12🔗 Drew Well, you're fat.

1:38:14🔗 Caller This has been Loveline. Loveline. Opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or this station. The producer for Loveline is Ann Ingold. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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