Monday, February 7, 2005

3:17🔗 Voiceover Loveline is meant for an adult audience. Loveline may contain sexually-oriented content. Listener discretion is advised. This is Loveline. With Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew.

4:51🔗 Drew One way or the other.

4:52🔗 Adam One way or the other, yeah. Like if these kinds of movies, Napoleon Dynamite, do better than, let's say, a sports movie.

5:00🔗 Drew Right.

5:00🔗 Adam You know what I mean? Like Mr. 500 or 5,000 or whatever that is. You know what I'm saying?

5:05🔗 Guest Yeah. I think absolutely with respect to Napoleon Dynamite, I think because of the cult status that is gained, you know, particularly the word of mouth in schools and so on and so forth, it's just like, I think everybody's been saying to everybody else, particularly in high schools and colleges, is like, have you, do you have a copy?

5:23🔗 Adam Right. And also, furthermore, maybe you need a copy, maybe you need a hard copy, instead of your buddy burning you one. Right. These are collector types.

5:34🔗 Drew Yeah, the status.

5:35🔗 Adam Well, let's not go that far.

5:37🔗 Drew What do you mean collector?

5:38🔗 Adam You know, it's not like you're rolling in a Hummer.

5:40🔗 Drew No, no, no.

5:41🔗 Adam But you don't wear it around your neck, but I mean it-

5:43🔗 Well, if you can't afford a Hummer and you're 13 years old, you can afford a copy of Napoleon Dynamite.

5:48🔗 Drew My kids are interested in their autographs.

5:50🔗 Adam Oh, really?

5:50🔗 Drew Oh, yes.

5:52🔗 Adam Really? Oh, I got to talk to your kids.

5:54🔗 Drew No, no.

5:55🔗 Adam No, no, no. I didn't mean that that way at all.

5:58🔗 Guest I just did a career day at St. Anastasia's School, which is in Westchester, and I was unbelievable. I had no idea that I was going to be mobbed.

6:08🔗 Adam Was it high school?

6:09🔗 Guest It's in middle school. Oh, really? I mean, even fourth grade, they were just attacking me. It's unbelievable.

6:14🔗 Adam It's their goonies, Drew. And now, it looked like I was just watching it, and I was thinking, it looks like they film this somewhere in California, but in the...

6:26🔗 Drew Fresno, Bakersfield area.

6:27🔗 Adam Yeah, like, there's parts of California that people wouldn't think of as California.

6:31🔗 Guest Yeah.

6:31🔗 Adam Seem more Nebraska than California.

6:33🔗 Drew So where was it?

6:35🔗 Guest It was in Preston, Idaho.

6:37🔗 Adam Oh, it was in Idaho?

6:38🔗 Guest Yes.

6:38🔗 Adam Why?

6:39🔗 Guest Why?

6:40🔗 Guest Southern Idaho, because the director, Jared Hess, that's where he was raised, in southern Idaho. And actually got favors from everybody from his local neighborhood.

6:49🔗 Guest Wow.

6:51🔗 Guest I mean, most of the crew stayed in people's homes, you know. There was one little motel that Efren and I stayed next door to each other, and all kinds of craziness.

6:59🔗 Adam What was the budget on the film?

7:01🔗 Guest Do you remember?

7:02🔗 Guest I think the actual shooting budget was like about $340,000.

7:05🔗 Adam No way.

7:06🔗 Drew Oh, my God.

7:08🔗 Oh, wow.

7:09🔗 Adam It says $45 million at the box office. I knew it did well at the box office. I didn't know it did that well.

7:16🔗 Drew Here's the shooting budget. Zero.

7:18🔗 Adam Wow.

7:19🔗 Drew Compared to what it had.

7:20🔗 Adam Now, Drew worked on a little project called New York Minute with the Olsen twins where he played their father. How did that compare mathematically with this one?

7:28🔗 Drew Let's see. $45 million.

7:29🔗 Adam $45 million.

7:32🔗 Drew And it cost?

7:32🔗 Adam $80 million.

7:35🔗 Guest So they're still trying to recoup.

7:37🔗 Drew But there's an example of somewhere where they were expecting to recoup more in the videos.

7:40🔗 Guest Yeah.

7:41🔗 Adam I'm just wondering. I don't hold out too much faith for society and I usually hate everything and everyone in it. But one thing I think sort of works out as far as the universe goes is good films seem to find their way to people's houses and the movie theaters and to people's heads through their eyes and bad films no matter how much saturation no matter how much advertising I'm even I don't even know if it makes a difference. Thanks for whacking the mic with your mug there Drew. By the way a new record we went to four minutes and 44 seconds of the show.

8:17🔗 Drew The mug before the mug hit.

8:19🔗 Adam I really see Drew evolve like like early man where at first no tools he just punched a mic with his hands and now he's been hitting it with his mug.

8:30🔗 Drew It was more like the evolution of mammals. It was kind of swatting it like a flipper.

8:33🔗 Adam Swatting, yeah. Now he's punching.

8:36🔗 Guest He's found his thumb.

8:37🔗 Adam Homo retardus. He hits it with his glasses frames every once in a while. True, Homo retardus could be your new name.

8:46🔗 Guest Homo retardus.

8:47🔗 Adam We'll do that whole evolutionary thing where you show the guy bent over straightening out. The last one is you whacking a mic with a mug and it just says Homo retardus on there.

8:58🔗 Guest Perfect.

8:58🔗 Adam All right, so as if the movie hasn't made enough money now out on DVD and selling like hotcakes, so go out and get yourself one of them. And is there any possibility, can you do a part two in a movie like this? Is that possible? Has it been discussed?

9:18🔗 Guest Well, you know, after having to shoot a documentary, Napoleon Dynamite, I have many cousins and we talk about it all the time about doing a prequel. Did it make you feel okay?

9:29🔗 Drew You look a little sweaty.

9:30🔗 Guest Yeah, I keep getting a little hot.

9:31🔗 Guest Do you think it's kind of warm in here?

9:33🔗 Adam It is, it is a little balmy in here.

9:35🔗 Guest I'll get a little steak, that'll help.

9:37🔗 Drew I was telling them off there, I go the whole time, I was like, okay, he's got a septic, he's got TB. What's going on? What's going on? What's going on? He's got a wound, he hasn't shown anybody yet.

9:46🔗 Adam So the whole thing was shot in Idaho.

9:48🔗 Guest In 22 days, yeah.

9:51🔗 Adam And well, I never really thought about it, even though the whole everything was sort of 70 down, it took place in 2003 or 2002, right?

10:01🔗 Guest No, 2003, yeah.

10:02🔗 Drew When you filmed it?

10:03🔗 Adam 2003, right? Wow. You're just driving, you're driving a custom van.

10:07🔗 Guest Yeah, that van just sold on eBay, from what I understand.

10:10🔗 Adam No way.

10:10🔗 Guest Yeah, I think the guy, when we got the van from, decided he's gonna make some money trying to get rid of that thing for years.

10:16🔗 Adam Oh, he just let you guys borrow it.

10:18🔗 Guest Oh yeah.

10:18🔗 Drew There's another favor.

10:20🔗 Guest Oh yeah, the whole movie was favors.

10:22🔗 Adam Wow.

10:22🔗 Guest The whole movie was favors.

10:23🔗 Adam Did you shoot it, was that a high school or junior high?

10:26🔗 Guest No, it was Preston High School, as a matter of fact, where I'm speaking with some of the people who worked there with a vote for Pedro Scholarship.

10:33🔗 Adam Really?

10:34🔗 Guest Yeah.

10:35🔗 Adam And was it during school session or school hours? Oh summer. Did you get the local kids?

10:42🔗 Guest All the kids for free. I mean a lot of the kids were there and a lot of the kids were more than happy to be in the film.

10:46🔗 Guest I think the entire school was there. Yeah.

10:48🔗 Guest Teachers, kids, everybody. What else are they going to do during the summer in Preston?

10:52🔗 Guest It's not such a huge town.

10:54🔗 Adam Well let's take a call for the guys.

10:56🔗 Drew Do you want to announce this about what calls are going to be?

10:59🔗 Adam Drew, do that.

10:59🔗 Drew We have another quick film we got to talk about here and that's All Callers Get On The Air Tonight. We'll get a DVD copy of the movie Saw, starring Danny Glover and Cary Elwes and when we had Lee and Cary Elwes up here a couple of weeks ago and if you...

11:12🔗 Adam A couple of months ago.

11:13🔗 Drew A couple of months ago and Good Guys and Scary Great Guys.

11:16🔗 Adam Yes.

11:16🔗 Drew And Lee wrote this damn thing.

11:18🔗 Adam Yeah.

11:19🔗 Drew And if you...

11:20🔗 Adam Didn't make 45 million, I'll tell you that right now.

11:23🔗 Drew Planned to recoup it in the DVD which was on sale on Tuesday.

11:26🔗 Guest It's scary.

11:27🔗 Drew And it's 18, we're only going to be able to give these DVDs out to people who are 18, every caller who's 18 or over and that caller will also qualify to win a trip to the Bloodstock in Derbyshire, I'm not sure I pronounced that right.

11:40🔗 Adam Yeah, like any of our stone listeners even know where England is.

11:42🔗 Drew We probably know what Bloodstock is. So anyway, every caller over 18.

11:46🔗 Adam Since Woodstock, how F'd out is the blank stock thing? You know what I mean?

11:51🔗 Drew I'm about to say blank gate.

11:52🔗 Adam How F'd out is the whatever stock?

11:54🔗 Drew Just call it the Woodgate, Bloodgate.

11:58🔗 Yeah.

11:59🔗 Drew The weird thing in this point in history where we decide something is a word that means something and we're going to distort it a thousand ways to...

12:06🔗 Adam Yeah. Well, I'm just saying there's been Woodstock and Funstock and Rockstock and everything.

12:12🔗 Guest Lockstock.

12:12🔗 Adam They just put the stock on the end of it now.

12:14🔗 Guest Quite honestly, I don't think I'd want to send a kid to Bloodstock in England.

12:19🔗 Drew Bloodstock 18 and over. 18 and over. You're not sending kids.

12:22🔗 Guest Yeah.

12:22🔗 Adam He's going to be eaten by a werewolf. Zach?

12:27🔗 Drew Hello? Jill. Oh, Zach.

12:28🔗 Adam I punched up Zach. Zach? Hello? I punched you up purposely, Zach, because you're 14 and you don't qualify for the Saw DVD. Go ahead.

12:42🔗 Caller Is Pedro there?

12:44🔗 Guest No, he's doing clips from Napoleon.

12:47🔗 Adam Clips from the movie. That is awesome, Zach.

12:51🔗 Drew Genius, Zach.

12:52🔗 Caller Awesome.

12:52🔗 Drew Well done.

12:53🔗 Guest Stop playing with your computer.

12:55🔗 Adam Okay. You know what? Here's the whole thing. Let me explain. Let me explain. I'm like, we're out of here at midnight. That's the way I look at it. I've said this to everyone who wants to waste my time. You're not wasting my time. I leave at midnight. As soon as that thing hit the clock, it's midnight, I leave. We can take one call, we can take 50 calls, we can take no calls, they can all be bogus. It doesn't matter to me. You see what I'm saying?

13:22🔗 Drew Yeah, it's all over two hours.

13:24🔗 Adam All right, so we're done with Zach.

13:26🔗 Caller What the heck would you do in a situation like that? Chill.

13:31🔗 Hello.

13:32🔗 Adam You're 19?

13:33🔗 Caller Yeah.

13:34🔗 Adam What's up?

13:37🔗 Caller Well, there's this guy that I've kind of been screwing around with for like a week. And yeah, it's kind of weird. Like it was really only supposed to be kind of a casual thing. But it turns out that he can't keep an erection. And like it's like a really big problem for him. And like, I don't know, it got kind of weird. And I don't know. Well, the problem is that like, I was kind of intending to break up with him, but now I can't really do it anymore because he'll definitely think that this is why. And I was just wondering, I just want to know like, what's going on?

14:19🔗 Drew You're getting a total bogus vibe from this that I'm getting.

14:21🔗 Adam Sort of, but it reminded me of why I give black bums money and I don't give white bums money. Because I don't want to give bums money, but the black bum's going to think I'm racist. I have to give him money. The white bum doesn't get it. He gets to get a job. And I think Jill's got that same thing going with the penis. She'd like to break up with the guy, but he's going to think it's because he has a rectal difficulty and kill himself. And now she feels weird.

14:48🔗 Drew What do you mean he doesn't keep his erection? We'll go as though this is for the real thing. Does he ejaculate and then lose the erection? Or is it trouble with penetration?

14:55🔗 Caller No, no, no, it gets hard and then we start doing it and then he just loses it.

15:01🔗 Drew Because he ejaculates or?

15:03🔗 Caller No, no, no, he doesn't.

15:05🔗 Adam Hold on, by the way, we got 14 nos in about three and a half seconds. By the way, when is six nos not enough in a row? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Really? Couldn't just be no, no, no, no, no?

15:19🔗 Guest No, no. No, no, no, no, no.

15:22🔗 Adam Are you calling a dog? That's really what that sounds like. Really, kid? Just no, not going to do it.

15:29🔗 Guest Maybe that's part of the problem. Are you speaking to him that same way?

15:32🔗 Adam Yeah, maybe it's all those negatives you're piling on him that is crushing his erection.

15:38🔗 Drew All right, Jill, what does he say is the problem?

15:41🔗 Adam No, no, no, no, no.

15:42🔗 Drew Do you talk about it with him? Does he mention anything?

15:44🔗 Caller Yeah, he says that he can't feel it.

15:47🔗 Drew Is he wearing a condom?

15:49🔗 Caller Yeah.

15:51🔗 Drew Maybe it's the condom. Maybe he's one of those guys that has trouble with the condom.

15:55🔗 Caller Oh, really?

15:56🔗 Drew Maybe I'll try different kinds.

15:57🔗 Adam Hold on, I just thought of something. Jill is really what's wrong with kids today. We get 500 nos, we don't even get a full yes. Yeah. We get half a yes.

16:08🔗 Drew That's a prize you want for $500?

16:10🔗 Adam And 500 nos. Let's all just think about that for a second, man.

16:15🔗 Heavy, dude. Heavy.

16:17🔗 Drew Both for Pedro.

16:18🔗 Adam No, just let it in. Just let it in, Pedro.

16:21🔗 Yeah.

16:23🔗 Adam Jill? Yeah. Do you like him outside of the erectile problem?

16:32🔗 Yeah.

16:33🔗 Guest Does he have any great skills?

16:36🔗 Great skills?

16:37🔗 Drew Oral skills, you mean?

16:39🔗 Adam No, it's a movie thing.

16:40🔗 Guest I was thinking like bow ending skills. That goes, Efren.

16:44🔗 Guest Efren's selling the movie again. He just wind them up.

16:46🔗 Drew Well, Jill, you like him and it's not about the erectile difficulty, so why are you breaking up with him?

16:52🔗 Caller Well, I mean, I like him, but we don't... I don't know. It's not that great.

16:56🔗 Drew All right, break up with him.

16:57🔗 Adam Hold on, Jill, are you angry at men? What's wrong with you? Where's your dad? What's up?

17:03🔗 Caller What? No, I have a good dad.

17:05🔗 Adam You do?

17:06🔗 Caller No, yeah. No, I...

17:10🔗 Guest Is this guy under 60?

17:13🔗 Caller He's 20.

17:14🔗 Adam Okay. Jill, are you going to junior college?

17:18🔗 Caller No, I go to a good school.

17:20🔗 Drew Where do you go?

17:22🔗 Caller I want to say...

17:23🔗 Drew We're in Chicago.

17:24🔗 Adam No, Jill, Jill, Jill, please never call the show again. Would you have pain in the ass? Jesus Christ. What a pain. She must be hot. She has to be good looking to be that kind of pain in the ass. She just calls just to like, well, hey, guy, you just...

17:52🔗 Drew How's your dad?

17:54🔗 Adam I have a good dad. Just stay home and leave the phone down and watch your goddamn stories. Jesus Christ. Oh, what a pain in my ass you guys are.

18:16🔗 Guest Is she hot? Is she hot?

18:19🔗 Guest Is she hot?

18:20🔗 Guest Is she hot?

18:22🔗 Adam What the hell did she want from us? So it's like, all right, so he loses. I know. Here's the thing.

18:28🔗 Guest You guys can suss it out pretty quickly. It's pretty obvious.

18:30🔗 Drew It's usually bogus.

18:31🔗 Adam It's bogus, except here's why I didn't think it was bogus. She wasn't attempting to keep the plate spinning, you know?

18:38🔗 Drew Yeah.

18:38🔗 Adam Bogus is like, uh-oh, they think it's bogus. I'm going to try to come up with something.

18:42🔗 Drew She gave a lot of, I know.

18:45🔗 Adam I know. What do we do?

18:47🔗 Drew That's her version. Repeating the question.

18:50🔗 Adam I know. Were you at a romantic dinner and we paged you?

18:54🔗 Drew Jill.

18:54🔗 Adam Is that what just happened there, Jill? Or did you call our goddamn radio show?

18:58🔗 Drew She heard us out in front of her building with a megaphone. All right, Mike.

19:02🔗 Adam Oh, you tortured horrible people. Please leave me alone.

19:05🔗 Drew What's going on, Mike?

19:06🔗 Mike? Can you hear me?

19:07🔗 Adam What's up?

19:09🔗 Caller Okay.

19:10🔗 So you probably read it here. First, I got to tell you guys, I'm sorry on behalf of humanity that you deal with the people you deal with.

19:18🔗 Drew Well, they're my people. They're homo retardus.

19:20🔗 Adam Homo retardus.

19:21🔗 Yeah. And I'm starting to think you guys are doing the show too long. I think it's getting to you. I think it would be better if you quit.

19:28🔗 I know I love the show, but Mike wants to do it.

19:31🔗 Adam I'm very close, Mike. You have no... You can laugh all you want, but I may be out of here very soon. Very soon. Absolutely.

19:40🔗 We still got you on TV, right?

19:42🔗 Adam Well, yeah.

19:43🔗 Call me central.

19:44🔗 Adam You will, and then I'll be out of here.

19:46🔗 Caller Lucky.

19:47🔗 Adam So enjoy.

19:48🔗 All right.

19:49🔗 Well, here's my deal. I...

19:52🔗 Adam All right. I'm done with him too.

19:53🔗 Caller Who?

19:54🔗 Adam Well, you know, he said he felt sorry for us and they said it was time for us to quit.

19:58🔗 Drew Yeah.

19:58🔗 Adam Yeah. Yeah. I don't need that. What was that?

20:02🔗 Drew I thought he was going to say he wants to do it.

20:06🔗 Adam Let's see.

20:06🔗 Guest Maybe he wanted to hire you guys.

20:08🔗 Adam Mike, do you want to do this job?

20:10🔗 Caller No, I don't.

20:11🔗 Drew No.

20:11🔗 Adam Well, then you're done.

20:12🔗 One chance.

20:19🔗 Caller All right.

20:20🔗 Adam Mike, it's been on hold for 34 minutes. I'm just going to put him on for like another 81 minutes and then we'll get right back.

20:27🔗 Sure. Sure. All right.

20:29🔗 Adam Amy?

20:30🔗 Yeah.

20:30🔗 Adam Twenty-one?

20:31🔗 Yeah.

20:32🔗 Adam What's up?

20:33🔗 Well, I just wanted to know if after an abortion a couple years later, can you show signs of not being sexually active, heavy bleeding, et cetera?

20:43🔗 Drew You're a Mormon? You mean persistently since the abortion or all of a sudden a couple of years later?

20:50🔗 It's been about three years now.

20:52🔗 Drew That you've had irregular bleeding and low sex drive? Yes. I would have a hard time blaming an abortion for that. What kind of abortion did you have? Oh, yeah.

21:04🔗 I don't know exactly what-

21:05🔗 Drew Did you take a pill? Was it a-

21:07🔗 Jon likes that.

21:08🔗 Drew Was it a vacuum abortion or were they taking medication?

21:10🔗 I don't know. I didn't want to say the wrong term. Vacuum, yes.

21:13🔗 Drew Yeah.

21:13🔗 Adam Well, do they call that a vacuum? Don't they have anything better for that?

21:17🔗 Drew Pretty good.

21:17🔗 Guest Who do they call that?

21:18🔗 Hoover.

21:19🔗 Adam Yeah.

21:20🔗 Drew It's not called a shop pack abortion.

21:23🔗 Guest I'm surprised.

21:24🔗 Adam Well, you'd want to use a wet dry, not an upright.

21:26🔗 Yeah, right.

21:28🔗 Guest Go Hoover.

21:29🔗 Adam Yeah. So you don't want anything with one of those, you know, oscillating bristles or a canister vacuum.

21:34🔗 You'd be amazed how brutal all this stuff is.

21:38🔗 Adam Yeah, I could kind of see that.

21:40🔗 Drew But I mean, you take a knife with basically a spoon with a sharp edge and just start scraping. That's basically what you do.

21:47🔗 Adam I don't even have a vagina and it hurts.

21:49🔗 Drew Yeah, but it's not the vagina. You're actually going through the opening of the, where's my book?

21:53🔗 Caller No, I don't want to see your book.

21:55🔗 Guest Oh, my lord.

21:56🔗 Drew All right, here's the deal.

21:58🔗 Adam It's not going through the vagina, right?

22:00🔗 Drew The vagina, you're just passing through. The actual work's done in the uterus. You get through the little tiny opening of the uterus. All right. All right, the deal, Amy, is that yes, you can have depression and regrets and loss of sexual drive and irregular bleeding for a few months afterwards, although people claim it doesn't happen.

22:15🔗 Yeah, but not two years.

22:16🔗 Drew But not two years. You have to really think that something else is going on. And why haven't you had this evaluated?

22:21🔗 Actually, I've gone to the OB-GYN several times and they said everything looks fine. And I just kind of keep telling them, you know, I keep bleeding. I'm taking birth control and I've switched even a couple of times and I'm bleeding all the time.

22:36🔗 Drew Well, that's the pill. That's the pill is doing that. Are you on the shot now or something?

22:40🔗 No, I've kind of been weary about taking the shot.

22:42🔗 Drew All right. Well, the reason you're bleeding is nothing of the abortion. It's the pills. You need to find something that stabilizes your endometrium better. All right. That's it. Here's what you do. You go, you reach in through here, you get that little hole there and you start scraping all this out with it.

22:54🔗 Guest Oh, don't show me that.

22:55🔗 Wow.

22:57🔗 Drew Showing them some of the other pictures.

22:58🔗 Adam Thanks, Homer Retardus. Bummed out the entire crew.

23:02🔗 Drew Uncle Rico, I thought he was an expert on that stuff.

23:05🔗 Adam Just because he drives a van.

23:07🔗 Guest I got the bus must plus, but I don't have that.

23:09🔗 Adam Julie?

23:10🔗 Yeah.

23:11🔗 Adam You're 22?

23:13🔗 Caller Yeah.

23:14🔗 Adam What's up?

23:15🔗 Caller My husband only wants to have anal sex.

23:20🔗 Adam Are you getting sore?

23:21🔗 Caller Huh?

23:22🔗 Adam What's that?

23:23🔗 Yeah.

23:24🔗 Caller I tried it with him once or twice, but I just, I don't like it. I'm not comfortable with it.

23:29🔗 Adam By the way, that joke was a sort of modern day version of I just flew in from Cincinnati.

23:34🔗 Drew Boy, my arms.

23:35🔗 Caller Boy, my arms.

23:38🔗 Adam My husband only wants to have anal sex and boy is his ass sore. Yeah, that's right. A little modification for 2005. Yeah, he just wants the anal sex.

23:52🔗 Caller Yeah, I tried it a couple of times with him and I just, I don't like it. I'm not comfortable with it, but he's being really persistent about it.

24:01🔗 Adam You know that for better, for worse part, when you took the vows? Yeah, that's what they meant.

24:06🔗 Drew Wow.

24:06🔗 Adam They don't come out and say anal. They just say for worse. That's what they mean.

24:10🔗 Drew Well, that, but that.

24:11🔗 Adam I think it goes without saying.

24:12🔗 Guest Gives me cause to get married.

24:13🔗 Drew But when they say for better or worse, there's a sort of little guide that says, here's what can fall into worse. And at the very, very bottom is anal sac.

24:21🔗 Adam Right.

24:22🔗 Oh, of course.

24:22🔗 Drew So to speak.

24:23🔗 Adam Right. So Julie?

24:26🔗 Yeah.

24:26🔗 Adam You big gal?

24:28🔗 Caller No.

24:30🔗 Caller There's a hiccup there.

24:31🔗 Guest Little hesitating.

24:33🔗 Adam What are you going to do?

24:33🔗 Caller Well, I recently lost like 40 pounds.

24:37🔗 Drew Oh, good.

24:37🔗 Caller But now I'm only like five, nine and a half at 140 pounds right now.

24:43🔗 Drew That's perfect.

24:44🔗 Adam Oh, really?

24:45🔗 Drew Wow.

24:45🔗 Adam Wow. You lost 40 pounds. How'd you do that?

24:48🔗 Caller Stress.

24:49🔗 Drew Stress?

24:50🔗 Caller Yeah.

24:51🔗 Drew Not the anal sex thing.

24:53🔗 Caller No.

24:54🔗 Guest Stress about anal sex.

24:55🔗 Drew What's the matter? What's going on?

24:56🔗 Adam We doing a lot of speed?

24:57🔗 Caller Just money. Just money issues. Not making quite enough.

25:03🔗 Adam What does your husband do besides, you know, pack the fudge?

25:08🔗 Caller He just works on the phone, customer support.

25:12🔗 Adam Customer support.

25:13🔗 Drew Packs the fudge and works the phone.

25:15🔗 Adam This guy's rangy.

25:16🔗 Drew Yeah.

25:16🔗 Adam You got to say what can't this man do? He could probably do them at the same time.

25:21🔗 Guest He's got a lot of skills.

25:23🔗 Adam Does he ever put the phone on your back and just do a little golden time or just get a little brown time?

25:28🔗 Guest He's a sleigh-hammer.

25:32🔗 Caller Hey, he's a good guy.

25:33🔗 Adam Ah, it sounds like a delight.

25:37🔗 Drew How many times have you done this with him?

25:40🔗 Caller I did it with him like two, two, maybe three times.

25:44🔗 Drew How long ago was the last time?

25:47🔗 Caller It's been a couple months.

25:48🔗 Drew Okay, so it's not that he only wants to do that, is that he's just trying to get you back there again, so to speak, again.

25:54🔗 Caller Yeah, well, he keeps like every single time he keeps mentioning it and wanting to do it and starting to like deny me, you know, regular things.

26:05🔗 Drew Whoa, this guy's cool.

26:07🔗 Adam Wow, this is wave-o, so this guy's a ninja. Yeah, it's denying you regular, all right. And I mean, was he really says, no, I'm not in the mood or he yells fresh and hits you with a fan? Smack with a fan. What happened to women fanning themselves? The central air has ruined it.

26:31🔗 Guest Maybe he needs to watch less porno. Does he watch porno?

26:34🔗 Adam Yeah. Is he handling himself?

26:37🔗 Caller He watches some porno, yeah.

26:39🔗 Adam Okay. Do you guys have kids?

26:42🔗 Caller Yeah, we have a three and a half year old.

26:45🔗 Adam Okay. Pregnant at like what? Seventeens? Eighteen? All right, slow it down a little, baby. I'll tell you what. You tell him that that anal stuff is not something you enjoy.

26:58🔗 Drew Right.

26:58🔗 Adam And when he persists on trying to manipulate you into doing something you don't like, that doesn't feel good, that's uncomfortable, that hurts, it makes you angry.

27:08🔗 Drew And resentful. You'll be resentful. There will be a price for this in some fashion. And unfortunately, what we normally say is telling him you're going to withhold regular sex if he keeps this up. But this guy's already trumped that.

27:19🔗 Adam Right.

27:19🔗 Drew He put that card down at the beginning. But maybe it's a strategy.

27:22🔗 Adam Yeah.

27:22🔗 Yeah. Yeah.

27:23🔗 Adam He may be bluffing.

27:24🔗 Drew Yeah, I think he's probably bluffing.

27:25🔗 Adam All right. So listen, Julie, you don't have to do anything you're uncomfortable with. But why don't you save a little something for like, you know, Christmas and, you know, his birthday and possibly Easter. I like the time of religious holidays. You guys are. You're calling from Utah. He sells the stuff on the phone. You guys are Jewish couple, right?

27:51🔗 Caller Of course.

27:52🔗 Caller Okay.

27:53🔗 Adam All right. So listen, just withhold it. We can't withhold, but just tell me you don't want the anal stuff anymore.

27:59🔗 Drew Please. Tell them that. Really needs to call and explain to me the allure of anal sex. I really have not got my head, if you will, around that.

28:06🔗 Adam Well, here's what I always thought. I always thought it was a combo. I mean, guys always work the sensation part, but it's not the sensation part.

28:15🔗 Drew No way. How could that? I mean... Ouch. No.

28:19🔗 Adam Here's what it is.

28:20🔗 Drew It's so dirty. I think they have a desire to hurt women a little bit.

28:23🔗 Adam Well, there's the who's in charge.

28:25🔗 Drew Yeah.

28:26🔗 Adam You're in charge, right? There's that element. And there's the do something you don't want to do and humiliate yourself a little bit. A lot of sex is that with guys.

28:37🔗 Drew OK, I get that.

28:38🔗 Adam So it's sort of the combination between it's taboo, we're pushing the envelope, and who's your daddy? Who's in charge? You know what I mean? It hurts a little? Suck it up. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, yeah.

28:52🔗 It's a little that...

28:54🔗 Adam most guys have that little sort of tap on the ass or, you know, you love it. Yeah, not Drew. Too passionate. Yeah. Drew, a deadly combination of pee-whipped and passionate.

29:06🔗 Drew All the pees.

29:07🔗 Adam Yeah. Homo retardus is pee-whipped and passionate. So not only does he really thoroughly enjoy humping, but he loves to do it in a very slow, methodical, sort of loving kind of way.

29:19🔗 Drew Oh, that's just disgusting.

29:20🔗 Adam Yeah.

29:21🔗 Drew Turns your stomach.

29:22🔗 He's a tender little guy.

29:26🔗 Adam We've got to take a break. Efren and Jon both here from Napoleon Dynamite out on DVD as we speak and we'll be right back after this. Loveline.

29:36🔗 Caller Okay.

29:36🔗 Wait.

29:37🔗 Caller Wait. My hair. My hair.

29:39🔗 Adam We'll be right back. Hey, everybody, Loveline and Adam. That's Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Tonight, from Napoleon Dynamite, Efren Ramirez here. I rolled it into one word. Of course, you know him as the lovable Pedro and Jon Gries here tonight.

30:03🔗 Guest Uncle Rico.

30:05🔗 Adam Yeah, and Jon, rangy, because, you know, Efren looks like Pedro, but Jon doesn't look like Uncle Rico. Jon is bald, which is a good thing. Jon doesn't look bald.

30:17🔗 Drew I'm more like a baseball cap.

30:18🔗 Adam Jon's bald.

30:19🔗 Drew What the heck are you talking about?

30:21🔗 Guest It's all right.

30:22🔗 Caller What?

30:24🔗 Guest Listen, I get to play a lot of different characters and I get to have a lot of different hairstyles.

30:28🔗 Adam I think I did, I think I did Kimmel the night Napoleon Dynamite and his brother, his twin brother was out there.

30:36🔗 Drew His identical twin?

30:37🔗 Guest Yeah.

30:38🔗 Adam Yeah.

30:39🔗 Guest He had one too.

30:40🔗 Adam No way. Identical?

30:42🔗 Guest Identical twin.

30:44🔗 Guest Both Pedro and Napoleon have identical twins.

30:46🔗 Adam Wow. How do we even know we got the right one here tonight? If you think about it, Drew. Yeah. And his brother, his brother was kind of pissed.

30:54🔗 Drew Oh, I bet.

30:55🔗 Adam Because it's, you know, I'm trying, I'm trying to think.

30:57🔗 Drew He's as nerdy as Napoleon is.

30:58🔗 Adam Yeah. Except for he doesn't have any money. You know what I'm saying? I mean, first off, when you have a brother, you figure you could do what, first you think you can kick their ass and you figure that you could do whatever it is they're doing anyway. And always, especially if they're 10 seconds younger than you are. So if one of them, if they're dating a hot chick or they got a cool job or whatever, it's like, what? That's mine. That's my job. I could have done that. So, you know, for sure, because it's true when you see other guys, you're like, I don't know, maybe that guy could kick my ass or I don't know. Maybe that guy's got a big schlong or maybe that guy's smarter than me. But your brother, especially if it's younger, it's like a deaf. And if it's your, if it's a twin brother, then you know, for sure, it's like you.

31:38🔗 Drew It's just, yes.

31:39🔗 Adam That's right. If he could get the job or he could get the girl, then you could. It's you. Yeah. Your brother must be angry.

31:47🔗 Guest People ask him if he's Pedro and now he's living.

31:51🔗 Drew He says yes.

31:52🔗 Guest He gets a lot of trim.

31:54🔗 Guest Yeah. Well, yeah, that too. Sometimes he says no and I think he's being humble, you know, but sometimes he says yes.

32:01🔗 Adam Does he act as well?

32:03🔗 Guest He's studying writing and directing up in Nashville, Tennessee. He's coming down here and we're both going to get involved with acting. And we're trouble, right?

32:10🔗 Adam And what the hell's Napoleon's brother's name?

32:14🔗 Guest David, isn't it?

32:15🔗 Adam Yeah. He seemed legitimately angry when we just come for you.

32:18🔗 Guest Well, a little bit.

32:20🔗 Adam Yeah.

32:20🔗 Guest In the beginning, he seems, I mean, to me he seemed really humble with it, but perhaps because they've always had this idea that they were going to become animators together, and now Jon's come.

32:29🔗 Adam Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I shouldn't say angry, but bitter, horribly bitter. All right, you ready to go? Here we go.

32:36🔗 Guest They're good guys, so.

32:37🔗 Adam Great guys, great guys. Bitter, bitter, great guys. Josh?

32:42🔗 Caller Yes.

32:42🔗 Adam 22?

32:43🔗 Caller Yes.

32:44🔗 Drew What's up?

32:45🔗 Caller Oh, one last man. I've been with a girl for about two and a half years now, and we were like extremely sexual active at first, and I've got like a horrible tolerance, and it's like before now, or she didn't want to sleep with me now, because it's like I figured over time, my tolerance to get better, it's never gotten any better.

33:03🔗 Drew What do you call it? Horrible tolerance?

33:05🔗 Caller Yeah, I don't last in bed at all, like I go quick.

33:10🔗 Adam How long does it take you?

33:12🔗 Caller Not long, maybe I could probably go in 30 seconds.

33:16🔗 Drew Hey, I'm gonna stop. Efren, I gotta stop you for a second.

33:19🔗 Guest What?

33:19🔗 Drew And we were just saying about siblings?

33:21🔗 Guest Yes.

33:21🔗 Drew They'll tear that thing to shred. He's signing autographs for my kids.

33:24🔗 Guest Oh, really?

33:25🔗 Drew Thank you for doing that, but you gotta have one for each or they will go nuts.

33:28🔗 Guest What are you thinking, man?

33:30🔗 Adam What's he doing? Do you have them all on one page?

33:32🔗 Drew Yeah, look at that, he's writing like the Gettysburg Address. Gettysburg Address down here, too.

33:36🔗 Guest He knows better than that. He knows better than that. I've seen him do it.

33:40🔗 Drew Thank you, though.

33:41🔗 Guest Is it for all of them, and then he looks at them?

33:43🔗 Drew Then you do individuals, all right, good, thanks.

33:45🔗 Adam He's giving autographs for Drew's triplets, by the way.

33:49🔗 Drew All right, Josh, so how long does it take you before you go?

33:52🔗 Caller I mean, probably about 30 seconds, man. I mean, it's pretty bad.

33:56🔗 Drew And can you go again?

33:58🔗 Caller I mean, occasionally, but I didn't know. Not really, I mean, occasionally I was.

34:04🔗 Drew Why don't you sort of take care of yourself before you get in the ring?

34:08🔗 Adam Yeah, look, when you look, well, look, when your time is 30 seconds, it's tough. 50% improvement gets you to 45 seconds.

34:17🔗 Drew But he should be able to sort of drain himself sufficiently that he could.

34:21🔗 Adam I know, you know, it's it's a kind of a math that should work out never really seems to. Do you know what I mean?

34:28🔗 Drew I think part of that, I think you're right. I think part of it is that the guys never really work on it. Yeah, they don't think they don't think I got to I got to find a way to get this working.

34:37🔗 Adam Well, well, also, there's a sort of a thing where if you do it too close to the time you have the encounter, it backfires on you.

34:45🔗 Drew Right.

34:46🔗 Adam If you wait too long, it's as if you didn't do it at all.

34:49🔗 Drew Right, and it could be two messens problems if you...

34:53🔗 Adam Yeah, right, right. I mean, what would you say? An hour, wait an hour?

34:58🔗 Drew I'd say a guy like this probably should have at it a couple times, and then get an hour out, and then that's it.

35:07🔗 Adam Josh, how are you doing? How's your oral technique? Because that's really what you need to focus on.

35:18🔗 Caller For time. I mean, it doesn't matter.

35:20🔗 Drew I mean, you know, I was thinking about something tonight. Josh, hang on one second. You know how we talk to guys all the time? Not all the time. We run into a guy who goes, Oh no, every time I have sex with a girl, I should have an orgasm. Every time. And of course, what are you talking about? Women don't have orgasm or intercourse. Do you think that some guys are just able to produce that in all women or are they only attracted to women that have that capability? And my question is-

35:43🔗 Guest Or are they lying?

35:45🔗 Drew My question is, if all women have the capacity to orgasm, given the right, you know, whatever, alchemy, why aren't they all out looking for that?

35:54🔗 Adam That guy.

35:54🔗 Drew Yeah. Are they?

35:56🔗 Adam And why aren't they sensing it in that guy?

35:58🔗 Drew Or are they?

36:00🔗 Adam Well, let's look at it this way. For women, it's many more factors than just pure, you know, rub a dub on the hunkeroo, right?

36:09🔗 Drew I think I understand what you said.

36:11🔗 Adam It's a little clinical, but I think you can follow along. What? The point is, is if a woman, so much with the woman is, I don't know, things that are known only to the Almighty.

36:23🔗 Drew Yeah, the Cosmos.

36:24🔗 Adam And then if you're a guy who sort of embodies that, maybe you can unlock this orgasm in all women.

36:31🔗 Drew Do you know what I'm saying? That some guys claim they can do that. I'm just wondering, do the women have a sense that that guy's out there? They just settle for whatever?

36:39🔗 Guest Maybe what if those guys just have a certain and fair-monal thing that women just respond to?

36:43🔗 Drew Well, whatever it is, if women understand that that's there, why aren't they all seeking that? Or are they?

36:49🔗 Adam But are there those guys? I don't hear those guys. Well, I know, I don't hear guys bragging that much.

36:54🔗 Drew Not that much, but occasionally one of that guy is like, oh, I think they lie.

36:59🔗 Adam You get the guy who says he pounds away all night, but that doesn't, you and I know.

37:04🔗 Drew No, that doesn't translate.

37:05🔗 Adam No, that's what I'm saying. That's the guy who brags he can last all night and go at it all night.

37:10🔗 Drew You know, I'll talk to a guy, we start talking about, you know, 60% of women never have an orgasm with intercourse, and go, I'll pipe up and go, huh, whoa, whoa, whoa, huh, huh, huh, what? No, no, what are you talking about? Well, all women have orgasm, just the way Adam, you say all women don't have orgasm with intercourse.

37:23🔗 Adam Yeah, I know that to be a fact, that's true, that's different.

37:26🔗 Caller All right.

37:29🔗 Adam Yeah, these are the guys who got that super multi-orgasmic girlfriend in high school.

37:33🔗 Drew Are they only attracted to that kind?

37:35🔗 Adam I don't know, true.

37:36🔗 Caller Come on, man.

37:37🔗 Adam I'll never be able to smoke pot again. Keep up with this crap. Josh?

37:42🔗 Caller Yeah.

37:43🔗 Adam Okay, here's the deal. There's really nothing you can do about your situation.

37:48🔗 Caller Double down.

37:50🔗 Adam You can learn to be the master of oral sex, okay? And you can, please no more autographs. That's driving me nuts. How about some fruit? And you can try masturbating, I would say, an hour before you get in the sack.

38:09🔗 Drew Maybe more than one time.

38:10🔗 Adam And you've never tried that, by the way?

38:12🔗 Caller Well, I mean, when I go time and time again with her, I mean, it didn't take long to go a second or third time. I mean, I don't know what to do.

38:19🔗 Drew Yeah, well, then maybe finish those times off yourself before you get in there with her and see what happens.

38:24🔗 Adam Well, you said sometimes you don't recover for a long time.

38:28🔗 Caller Well, yeah, I mean, it's just different.

38:30🔗 Adam I mean, sometimes you don't want to go around. I really, I would like to call one of the heads from Easter Island and have a more meaningful conversation with it. I really, really put this game. Do you have a total poll you can put on the phone so we can get some clarity here? It's crazy. It's like, your first question, okay, he's 22. He busts a nut in 30 seconds. So the first question is, well, can you do it again? Can you do it? No, it takes a long time, takes a long time. Okay, well, why don't you masturbate then before you have sex? Well, we go at it. We will do it all the time and we'll keep going.

39:11🔗 Guest I would think that if that became such a concern, you'd know that you're better off primarily taking care of yourself every morning.

39:21🔗 Drew Or whatever, yeah, doing something to try to accommodate. I don't think young guys don't sort of figure it out. You know what I mean?

39:28🔗 Adam Yeah.

39:28🔗 Drew They don't work on it. They work on cars and everything else, they're mechanical to try to figure it out, but they don't look at themselves that way.

39:35🔗 Adam Here's the other thing in life, I'm starting to learn the sad reality from doing this show, which is I don't think people have a plan in anything. Like there's just people that are like, wow, you got your fifth DUI? Yeah. Yeah.

39:49🔗 Drew There you go. What are you going to do?

39:51🔗 Adam But you just got a new job and it's across town. How are you going to get there without a license?

39:56🔗 Caller I don't know.

39:57🔗 Adam Well, but they told you if they rest of you again, you're going to do time this time. And your dad said he was going to sell your car. Yeah, I know. It's like, and then you realize if you do that, what were you thinking or what is your plan? Or how do you expect an answer? No answer. Big zero answer. Like, you know, we talked to 16-year-old girls all the time. It's like, you had two abortions, sorry.

40:20🔗 Caller Uh-huh.

40:22🔗 Adam And you're having sex.

40:23🔗 Caller Uh-huh.

40:24🔗 Adam Are you using protection? Not sometimes. What's your plan? You're going to get pregnant again.

40:30🔗 Caller Really?

40:31🔗 Adam But here's the plan. The new plan, no plan.

40:34🔗 Drew Yeah, the problem is the part of the brain isn't firing off.

40:37🔗 Adam That part?

40:38🔗 Drew Yeah, big parts aren't firing. You can't talk about that because it's empty. Empty set. There's no activity. What are you talking about?

40:48🔗 Caller All right.

40:50🔗 Adam We have one of the monoliths from Easter Island, Sexually Colloquial.

40:53🔗 Drew Oh, good.

40:54🔗 Adam It's seven.

40:55🔗 Drew Excellent.

40:56🔗 Adam Yeah, we'll talk to him when we come back. Efren here, Jon here tonight from Napoleon Dynamite. Drew, are you... Can you... Drew, how is it you're either annoying yourself or you're abetting the annoying? Drew gets the Marathon autograph going from Efren. All I hear for the 15 minutes straight... All right, Drew, can you stop annoying?

41:20🔗 Drew Yes, I can. Okay.

41:22🔗 Adam Can you stop your minion from annoying me?

41:23🔗 Drew Let's go to break and they'll be done. All right.

41:25🔗 Adam We're almost done. No, no. They'll stop at a break and fire up again when we come back. We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back after this.

41:33🔗 Guest Such an idiot.

41:55🔗 Adam Hey, everybody, it's Loveline, man.

41:56🔗 Guest And I'm there.

41:58🔗 Adam Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1-R. Just got done busting the toilet seat in the bathroom.

42:06🔗 Drew Nice.

42:07🔗 Adam Well, you know that thing where you lean the toilet seat up, you're gonna take a leak, and then it plops down halfway in your leak, and then you put your finger underneath the filthy seat again, you push it up one more time, and then it plops down again. I just gave it a nice boot on the third one, and it snapped it in half. Everett Ramirez is here tonight, along with Jon Gries. Both of them, by the way, from Napoleon Dynamite, Everett is Pedro, and Jon is Uncle Rico. I was just thinking about the toilet seat again, having to put the fingers underneath it. What could be worse than the underneath of a public restroom toilet pit? Yeah.

42:49🔗 Drew Toilet seat.

42:50🔗 Adam Toilet seat, yeah. And then here's the other thing. What's wrong with the little tab? Couldn't put a little tab on there, a little something, a little grab tab?

42:56🔗 Drew A little handle, something.

42:57🔗 Adam Yeah, just a little tab. Yeah. Just a little tab.

43:01🔗 Drew Sometimes you're not actually reaching to where the diarrhea splashes.

43:04🔗 Adam Slide your finger under the DMZ under there and lift the thing up.

43:10🔗 Guest I would say having no soap in the dispenser after that would be pretty bad, too.

43:14🔗 Adam What about the fact, though, that if you run, if you have like an airport or high school or something, you want people to lift the toilet seat, which you don't want is people whizzing all over. You want the toilet seat to go up and go down. They want people to utilize it, right? Yeah. If you put a little tab the size of a guitar pick, just stamped right into the plastic, maybe make it perforated a little, you know, put a little lines in it, you know, and there it is. It just gives you a little something to grab. You don't have to actually put the hands underneath the seat. You know, sometimes it catches the cold bowl, get a little straight, straight puke on your knuckle.

43:51🔗 Drew What, by the way, don't need that.

43:54🔗 Adam Toilet seats, stamped out of plastic, right?

43:57🔗 Drew Right.

43:58🔗 Adam How much more difficult to just put the little lift tab there? Is there something, is there danger in it? Is someone gonna lose an eye? Am I the first guy's ever thought of this?

44:07🔗 Drew Must be worth millions of dollars though to some toilet seat maker.

44:10🔗 Guest They're probably working on it right now.

44:12🔗 Drew Here's the reality, if you put that on, you'd be the premier toilet seat maker.

44:15🔗 Adam You'd just... Just a little tab. I don't need ball bearings or titanium or brush steel or anything. Just stamp the little tab in and give you something to lift up instead of sliding your hand under the thing.

44:28🔗 Drew Brilliant. And also you can use your foot better that way when you're kicking it up.

44:32🔗 Adam Yeah, just give the guys a little incentive. Even the one at home, not a bad deal. You know, why slide the hand? Here's your choice with lifting the toilet seat. Grab the toilet seat, slide your hand under where the bowl and the ass are. Really? This is it? Nobody? Nobody's come up with this. Not going to work? It's trivial. Oh man. Let's just get on it everybody.

44:54🔗 Guest Somebody in Indiana or somewhere right now is...

44:56🔗 Adam Please, please. I willingly give these ideas away so they can be used. Where are we, Drew? Who are we talking to?

45:03🔗 Drew James.

45:03🔗 Adam Talk to James? James, you're 16.

45:07🔗 Caller Oh yeah.

45:08🔗 Adam What's up?

45:09🔗 Caller I was just wondering if they're going to make another Napoleon Dynamite and how long did it take to make Napoleon Dynamite?

45:17🔗 Adam 22 days. I know that. Are you going to make another one? Is there any talk?

45:24🔗 Guest I think that in truth the filmmakers are keeping pretty mum about it. They don't seem to be interested right now but you know I'm sure that But a lot of the money powers that be behind the actual distribution of the first one are probably chomping at the bit.

45:43🔗 Adam He could definitely go to college.

45:45🔗 Drew How long did it take you to film it?

45:48🔗 Adam 22 days.

45:49🔗 Drew That's elaborate. But I thought you said that, but I was thinking, that can't be. There's a lot of stuff in 22 days.

45:55🔗 Guest They were running around like crazy, just from location to location.

46:01🔗 Adam They shoot lower budget indies. That's what they shoot in 22 days.

46:05🔗 Drew They should make a sequel just with the twins.

46:07🔗 Adam Yeah. I'll tell you what's going to be the good thing is when the actual twins hold out, but their twins come in and say, well, do it. Now you got a situation on your hands. Yeah.

46:23🔗 Drew Wow.

46:23🔗 Guest It's not a bad idea actually.

46:26🔗 Adam Yeah.

46:27🔗 Guest It's pretty wild.

46:28🔗 Adam Efren, you're going to have to kill your twin. Otherwise, it's going to take your place.

46:33🔗 Guest Then get the Olsen twins involved.

46:35🔗 Adam Yeah. Oh, Drew. So sad.

46:37🔗 Drew I know.

46:37🔗 Adam So sad.

46:39🔗 Drew It took us seven days just to film the kitchen scene.

46:42🔗 Adam Yeah. Anyone seen New York Minute?

46:44🔗 Guest I missed that one.

46:45🔗 Drew I don't have chips.

46:46🔗 Guest It's on my list.

46:47🔗 Adam You and the rest of the country. Are you ready to rock here?

46:49🔗 Caller Here we go.

46:51🔗 Adam Robin?

46:52🔗 Caller Yes.

46:53🔗 Adam You're 25?

46:55🔗 Caller Yes, I am.

46:56🔗 Adam What's up?

46:57🔗 Caller Not much.

47:00🔗 Is this the radio show?

47:01🔗 Adam That's what it is.

47:02🔗 Caller Who else you call?

47:05🔗 Well, I wasn't sure if I was on yet or not.

47:08🔗 Adam Okay.

47:09🔗 Drew Are you sure?

47:10🔗 Adam What's up?

47:10🔗 Caller I have a question. How do you give a man multiple orgasms?

47:16🔗 Drew What do you mean? There's no man on earth that can have the kind of multiple sequential orgasms that women can have where there's no refractory phase. That's not possible in a man.

47:26🔗 Adam What about those guys who write those books? Like the nine hour orgasm?

47:30🔗 Drew No. No.

47:31🔗 Adam No?

47:31🔗 Drew No. That's nine hour pre-orgasm.

47:35🔗 Adam Let me tell you. You having the sort of ghost or phantom sensation of an orgasm in your kooky, tofu-filled noggin nine hours before something comes out of your joint is not a nine hour long orgasm. Homo's. Thank you, Drew.

47:55🔗 Drew Yeah. But Rob, and the women, women basically have three versions. One is this women that I suspect Robin is, where it's just one right after the other with essentially no refractory phase. There's women that can have a sequential orgasms like two or three, one after the other with a little refractoriness, and those that just have one like a man.

48:12🔗 Adam Well, the sequential one is the one after the other at the top too, isn't it?

48:16🔗 Drew Yeah. But there's no refractoriness though, which is one right after the other.

48:20🔗 Adam Robin?

48:20🔗 Caller Yes.

48:21🔗 Caller What do you got?

48:22🔗 Adam What do you got going?

48:23🔗 Caller Well, I think I have the sequential.

48:26🔗 Drew But you have repeated multiple without any break. Yeah, you're very unique, very unusual to be wired that way. Probably less than 10% of women are wired that way, and no men are wired that way.

48:38🔗 Caller No men.

48:38🔗 Caller So that's a false...

48:40🔗 Drew That is an impossibility.

48:42🔗 Caller Yeah.

48:42🔗 Adam I mean, look, you could, well, you can hook up with some 21-year-old guy who can peel three off in an evening, but there's going to be a little gatorade in between.

48:51🔗 Drew And it's really just the same boner.

48:54🔗 Adam And they're not even the same size. Yeah, the male, what's the definition?

49:00🔗 Drew Same boner, different jizz?

49:01🔗 Adam Yeah.

49:03🔗 Drew That was Adam's definition.

49:04🔗 Adam That's a multi-orgasm for guy. I mean, that's as close as you get.

49:07🔗 Drew That's right.

49:08🔗 Adam It's still going to take a little time in between.

49:10🔗 Drew Still, they may sustain the erection, but they're not going to have one right after the other.

49:13🔗 Adam All right, then, Robin.

49:15🔗 Caller Well, I'm so disappointed then.

49:17🔗 Adam Yeah, it really is.

49:18🔗 Drew They're fine, though, Robin. Don't try to improve on what they get.

49:21🔗 Adam It's a really harsh, unkind universe.

49:23🔗 Drew You being there having your thing, having a seizure, is fine for them.

49:26🔗 Caller Right.

49:27🔗 Caller They'll be satisfied with that, right?

49:29🔗 Drew Yes.

49:29🔗 Adam Yeah.

49:29🔗 Caller Okay.

49:30🔗 Drew Let's relax.

49:31🔗 Adam Right.

49:31🔗 Drew Now, we're going to take a break. Okay.

49:33🔗 Adam All right.

49:34🔗 Drew All right.

49:34🔗 Adam We'll take a little break. Go out and get that Napoleon Dynamite, by the way. We'll be right back after this.

49:54🔗 Love 191.

50:24🔗 Caller Hi, everybody.

50:24🔗 Adam I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew.

50:26🔗 Caller Tonight, for Napoleon Dynamite.

50:28🔗 Adam Efren Ramirez is here, as well as John Grimes. And Jon, Uncle Rico, nominated for an Independent Spirit Award, first performance.

50:41🔗 Guest Nice. Isn't that something? Cool. It's quite an honor, really. What? I can't believe it.

50:48🔗 Adam What shape is an Independent Spirit Award?

50:51🔗 Guest It's a... It's a sledgehammer. It's like a sledgehammer. It's a tall pedestal with like a little... person, icon, I don't know, some kind of a god on the top. With wings.

51:07🔗 Adam We won an award. What award did we win, Drew? Shine Awards.

51:11🔗 Drew Shine Awards, yeah.

51:13🔗 Adam I had to take a magic marker to mine. It's confusing to people. We won a...

51:18🔗 Guest To write your name in me?

51:19🔗 Drew Because it says Charlie Ray on it.

51:21🔗 Adam It was... It's one of these things where like, yeah, you know, everything disturbs me. But we won these...

51:30🔗 Drew What does it stand for in my sexual health and entertainment?

51:33🔗 Adam Yeah, yeah. Shine Job. We won... It's a sort of lucite pyramid. Someone decided in 1987 we had to switch to lucite for all awards. But this is this thing. And we won one when we were doing Love Line, the TV show, because, you know, we're talking about condoms and dental dams and stuff. And it's responsible. So we won a Shine Award. But the award we won, for some reason, they have to pick a show out of the 500 that we did that to pick an episode. And it was the one that Caroline Ray was on. And so the Shine Award, it's like a it's like this pyramids, about a foot tall, that says Shine Award. And then Caroline Ray in huge block letters and then Love Line in smaller letters. And then in smaller letters than that, my name.

52:20🔗 Drew Oh, your name is actually Andre.

52:22🔗 Adam It's at the bottom, but you can't really see it. So I put on my mantelpiece, I was like, why do you got Caroline Ray's pyramid? And I'm like, that's that's my award. It's like it's got her name on it. So after too many guests, after too many questions, I actually took a Sharpie and I just took her name out. But now when you look at it, it looks like I stole Caroline Ray's Shine Award and took a Sharpie to it. But Drew, what what universe do you give?

52:49🔗 Drew You know what I mean?

52:49🔗 Adam When you give someone an award, a trophy, you have someone else's name in it written in bold lettering. Someone else's name? You know what I'm saying?

52:57🔗 Drew Yes, I know what you're saying.

52:58🔗 Guest Did they send a copy to her or no?

53:01🔗 Adam Yeah, I only hope she has one with my name in huge block letters.

53:06🔗 Guest The reverse. Yeah. Maybe just got switched somehow.

53:09🔗 Adam You think Marlon Brando's Oscar as Al Pacino's name in huge letters or Caroline Ray's for that matter?

53:17🔗 Drew Probably Caroline Ray's.

53:19🔗 Adam That's possible. All right, Drew, what do you got to do?

53:22🔗 Drew All right, we have to also mention Saw, the movie starring Danny Glover and Carrie Elway. We are going to give out a DVD for that movie to every caller over the age of 18 who gets on the air tonight and those callers will be qualified to enter a contest to win a trip to a heavy metal concert called Bloodstock in Derbyshire, England. The Saw DVD goes on sale on Tuesday.

53:43🔗 Adam Bloodstock sounds like the Million Man March.

53:46🔗 Guest I think they sell a lot of haggis there.

53:49🔗 Drew Have you ever eaten haggis?

53:50🔗 Guest No, I wouldn't want to.

53:50🔗 Drew I've eaten haggis. It's exactly like Taco Bell taco meat.

53:55🔗 Adam Oh, really?

53:56🔗 Drew Yeah.

53:56🔗 Guest Maybe it's the same thing.

53:58🔗 Drew Well, it probably is, basically.

54:01🔗 Adam Really? Really?

54:03🔗 Drew Yeah, although my son barfed all night after he ate a lot of haggis.

54:06🔗 Caller He liked it.

54:09🔗 Adam Where were you?

54:10🔗 Drew Scotland.

54:10🔗 Adam You were in Scotland? Well, why haggis? I mean, I went in Rome or...

54:14🔗 Drew Big ceremonies. They bring out these huge things and sheep bellies and stuff. This guy with the bagpipes comes out and says prayers over it and announces the, you know, God bless the kingdom of Scotland and you pass it around. You don't say no.

54:28🔗 Guest Oh, OK. All right.

54:29🔗 Adam I don't want to offend anybody.

54:30🔗 Guest All eyes on you.

54:32🔗 Guest It's like the peace pipe.

54:33🔗 Adam Eric?

54:33🔗 Guest Absolutely.

54:34🔗 Hey, what's happening, guys?

54:35🔗 Adam You're 23? Yeah.

54:38🔗 Caller Well, Drew, I was surprised you didn't know this is actually pronounced Darbyshire.

54:43🔗 Drew Yeah, I asked everybody here how to pronounce it, so I just... Darbyshire.

54:47🔗 Adam You just spat it out the wrong way. We weren't paying attention.

54:51🔗 Caller All right. I got a couple of movie questions for you and I'm from Florida.

54:55🔗 Caller All right.

54:56🔗 Caller All right. First movie question goes to Uncle Rocco.

55:01🔗 Guest That wouldn't be Uncle Rico, would it be?

55:04🔗 Caller I'm sorry. My bad.

55:05🔗 Guest It's okay.

55:06🔗 Drew I'm surprised you can pronounce it that way.

55:08🔗 Caller No, no. You know, you know.

55:09🔗 Guest Uncle Rocco is my twin brother. He's actually a porno star.

55:13🔗 Caller We're gone.

55:14🔗 Caller No, my girlfriend, we were discussing the movie after we watched it and she called him Rocco and I said, no, it's Rico. And now I took anyway.

55:22🔗 Guest I totally understand the path of least resistance.

55:24🔗 Drew I was talking to Ann. I said, it's Derbyshire. And she said, no, no, it's Derbyshire.

55:27🔗 Adam Turnabout. Fair play.

55:29🔗 Caller It certainly is. Moving on.

55:32🔗 Guest Ding, ding.

55:34🔗 Caller This scene where Napoleon pulls up on his bicycle and you throw that slab of beef at him, and it nailed him perfectly in the face. Was that a one take deal or did you have to do that a bunch of times?

55:43🔗 Guest That was three takes. The first two takes I tried to lead him with a soft toss and have him hit the stake. And then Jared Hest, the director, was getting nervous that we were running out of time because we were shooting this movie in 22 days. And I said, look, I've played baseball for years. If you let me throw it, I'll throw it and I'll hit him. And we got to just do it.

56:02🔗 Drew You looked like you nailed him.

56:03🔗 Guest Oh, I did. Oh, wow. I knocked his glasses off and gave him a bruise on the side of his nose that he had to cover up with makeup for the rest of the shoot.

56:10🔗 Drew Was he angry?

56:11🔗 Guest No, he didn't even lose character. He was so happy. No, John, John Heater is kind of a, he's a tough kid. He really is.

56:18🔗 Adam Yeah.

56:19🔗 Caller You've been losing character.

56:21🔗 Adam Now, where were you, by the way? Hold on, quiet caller. Because you were sitting on the porch, you grabbed it off the plate and you threw it.

56:30🔗 Guest Yeah.

56:30🔗 Adam Then they cut to him riding his bike.

56:33🔗 Guest That's right.

56:34🔗 Adam So were you...

56:35🔗 Guest They had me throw it from off camera. They said...

56:37🔗 Drew Right, right, right.

56:39🔗 Adam So you were standing 20 feet away off camera on the lawn and you...

56:42🔗 Guest It was still a long chuck.

56:43🔗 Adam Yeah, no, it was.

56:44🔗 Guest Chuck.

56:44🔗 Adam And you know, you can tell the difference between the ones the guys lean into and the ones you get nailed with.

56:51🔗 Drew Yes.

56:51🔗 Adam It's really an interesting thing.

56:53🔗 Drew It's funny, because I remember that scene.

56:55🔗 Adam I do, too.

56:55🔗 Drew I thought to myself, oh, he actually nailed them. He just, somebody pegged that guy.

56:59🔗 Guest They didn't expect his glasses to fly off. In other words, it was an added bonus.

57:05🔗 Adam It's one of these things where it's, that's how you can tell you're a human being. You watch these America's Funniest Videos, you can tell the ones that are cooked. You can tell, I don't know how, as a human being, when a guy steps on a rake and it hits him in the face and he falls in the pool and he stages it, you know it immediately. And you can tell it in movies, too, and you still get a laugh, but it's not nearly as impressive as when it looks like it actually happened. And that one, I took note of that as well. Yeah, nice chuck. All right, now it's a little Germany or Florida. Eric?

57:39🔗 Caller Okay, the Germany or Florida is a 30-year-old man was admitted to a hospital after trying to commit suicide by swallowing a can full of expanding foam. Surgeons had to operate to remove the 8-inch block of foam from the man's stomach. He later died as a result of internal bleeding.

57:55🔗 Wow.

57:56🔗 Adam All right, now he, is this Germany or Florida, gentlemen? Now, he tried to swallow that expanding foam. And I've used that stuff.

58:06🔗 Drew Is that stuff for the insulation?

58:07🔗 Adam Yeah. Yeah, you would do it to fill cracks that were too large for caulking or something like that.

58:13🔗 Drew Wow.

58:14🔗 Adam It's great stuff, it's amazing stuff, and it's actually sort of structural characteristics too. It's sort of hard.

58:19🔗 Drew Imagine how that would have hurt.

58:21🔗 Guest Do you think maybe he was trying to lose weight and he thought if he swallowed a little bit of that stuff and it expanded inside of him, he'd lose his appetite?

58:27🔗 Adam Yeah, like he ate a Thanksgiving meal. And I don't understand, though, how you swallow a can of it.

58:33🔗 Guest We have to suck it, like you have to. I can't imagine.

58:35🔗 Adam You mean, he decided to suck it all in out of the hose, right?

58:41🔗 Caller Oh, you're asking me? Yeah. The story didn't go into that much detail.

58:45🔗 Adam Yeah, well, anyway. We'll assume that. When it says swallow a can of it, it doesn't mean...

58:48🔗 Drew Consume a can. Consume a can is worth...

58:51🔗 Caller He didn't deep throat the entire can, no.

58:53🔗 Adam Right, right, wow.

58:54🔗 Drew So, now, you know they have this kind of product in the United States.

58:58🔗 Adam Oh, yeah.

58:58🔗 Drew We don't know they have it in Germany.

58:59🔗 Adam Oh, let me tell you something.

59:01🔗 Drew They have it in Germany.

59:01🔗 Adam Anything worth an F that we have here, they've had there for five years easily.

59:06🔗 Drew It could be either.

59:07🔗 Adam Everything they have there is better than what we have here.

59:09🔗 Drew It's too creative for Florida.

59:11🔗 Guest I'm gonna say Florida.

59:12🔗 Drew But it's creative.

59:15🔗 Adam It's creative and it is a product that's probably a little more Germany than Florida, although it's on the shelves of every...

59:22🔗 Guest Why? Because it's expanding?

59:24🔗 Adam Home Depot.

59:25🔗 Drew It's creative.

59:26🔗 Adam In the country.

59:27🔗 Drew The Floridian's gonna drink gasoline and swallow a match.

59:31🔗 Adam Well, no, wait a minute.

59:32🔗 Guest Was it during Oktoberfest? Maybe?

59:34🔗 Guest When did it happen? When did this occur?

59:36🔗 Drew What time of year?

59:37🔗 Guest Yes.

59:38🔗 Drew Eric?

59:39🔗 Adam Well, who cares? Why? That means something to me.

59:42🔗 Guest Oktoberfest.

59:43🔗 Adam Yeah, you never know. No, here's the thing, Drew. It's creative, but it's also psychotic.

59:49🔗 Drew Yep.

59:50🔗 Adam Speed trucker, speed out of your mind kind of move too. I'm going Florida.

59:55🔗 Drew I'm going Germany.

59:55🔗 Guest I'm going Germany.

59:57🔗 Adam Wow.

59:58🔗 Drew Florida?

59:58🔗 Guest I'm definitely Florida. I think he thought it was nitrous oxide in that room.

1:00:01🔗 Adam All right, we got two Germanys, two Floridas. Let's see where the rubber meets the road here, Eric.

1:00:08🔗 Caller Arizona, Florida.

1:00:10🔗 Adam Oh, yeah. Yeah. Give me some. Yeah, Jon.

1:00:13🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:00:14🔗 Adam Nice.

1:00:15🔗 Drew All right.

1:00:16🔗 Adam Thank you, Eric.

1:00:17🔗 Caller Thank you.

1:00:18🔗 Adam Hey, you know, usually we don't give out gifts to anyone who calls the show. You're going to get yourself a Saw CD.

1:00:25🔗 Drew And possibly go to Derbyshire.

1:00:27🔗 Adam Yeah. Yeah.

1:00:29🔗 Drew Very exciting.

1:00:29🔗 Adam Hi, Eric.

1:00:30🔗 Caller Yeah. Oh, I thought you put me on hold.

1:00:32🔗 No, no.

1:00:34🔗 Adam There you go, buddy.

1:00:35🔗 Guest And they swallow cans of haggis.

1:00:37🔗 Drew You know, I found I was fishing around and found something that was very Germany or Florida that happened in Texas. I thought I'd bring it in because it was so striking to me that it wasn't Florida. Forty-three year old Texan woman is facing homicide for giving her husband a lethal wine enema.

1:00:54🔗 Adam Wow.

1:00:55🔗 Drew Yes.

1:00:56🔗 Guest Oh, wow.

1:00:58🔗 Drew And he was unable to guzzle Sherry due to a throat ailment. So they opted for a secondary delivery method with two large bottles of booze.

1:01:06🔗 Adam Sherry was his drink.

1:01:08🔗 Guest Did it kill him, did it say? It almost killed him.

1:01:10🔗 Drew Yep, it killed him.

1:01:11🔗 Caller It killed him, yeah.

1:01:12🔗 Adam Well, that's how you get, what do you get? We said manslaughter or second degree murder?

1:01:16🔗 Drew It just says homicide.

1:01:17🔗 Guest How would that? Is it just alcohol poisoning?

1:01:19🔗 Drew Alcohol poisoning, yeah. It's lead level 0.47.

1:01:22🔗 Guest Well, it lights out.

1:01:24🔗 Guest 0.45 is dead, isn't it, just to me?

1:01:26🔗 Drew Basically, yeah.

1:01:27🔗 Adam 4.7, so here's the whole thing, which is if you drink a ton of booze, you will vomit it up probably, right? I mean, that's how your body sort of saves you. But you-

1:01:39🔗 Drew Well, if you drink it rapidly, you see, it's not, you could get yourself there without vomiting, but you have to really work at it.

1:01:46🔗 Adam But isn't there, yeah, but there's sort of a catch-22, and I mean, yeah, you could get there. But if you drink it rapidly, you're gonna heat.

1:01:52🔗 Drew You could heat, yeah.

1:01:53🔗 Adam If you do it over time, you're not gonna get the blood, the alcohol level up as high as you could.

1:01:58🔗 Drew Nor are you gonna have the rather dramatic effects, because when it goes up fast, that's when you stop breathing and all that kind of stuff. Right.

1:02:04🔗 Guest Isn't the purpose of an enema, an anal heave, basically? I mean, isn't it coming right back out?

1:02:10🔗 Drew They must plug it up and keep it in there until it's absorbed.

1:02:12🔗 Guest So it's, wow.

1:02:13🔗 Adam No, you know, you can keep it in there for a while.

1:02:16🔗 Drew Yeah. Believe you me. Oh, really?

1:02:17🔗 Adam No, yeah.

1:02:18🔗 Guest Oh, yeah.

1:02:20🔗 Adam And then so you can pour. Well, now, but what can you pour? I mean, you could get what? Half a gallon? What could you get in there? What do you get in there in a good enema?

1:02:30🔗 Drew Of a liquid?

1:02:31🔗 Adam No, of sand.

1:02:32🔗 Drew Of any liquid? Of alcohol?

1:02:35🔗 Adam I'm talking about Playbox sand.

1:02:37🔗 Drew You can get liters in.

1:02:38🔗 Adam I'm talking silica sand.

1:02:40🔗 Drew You can get a couple of liters in there.

1:02:41🔗 Adam A couple of liters?

1:02:42🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:02:43🔗 Adam Well, a couple of liters is a little more than half a gallon. Really? A couple of liters?

1:02:47🔗 Drew Easily.

1:02:48🔗 Adam Easily.

1:02:49🔗 Guest That's probably going to be up for the Darwin Award.

1:02:51🔗 Adam Wow. Yeah. When they do that, but when you get a fleet enema.

1:02:56🔗 Drew Fleets is a little tiny bit.

1:02:58🔗 Adam A little tiny bit. Then a real enema. I mean, the biggest one you give.

1:03:02🔗 Drew Tap water.

1:03:03🔗 Adam Couple of...

1:03:04🔗 Drew Sure. Yeah. Thinking about barium enema where they light the entire colon. Before the days of colonoscopy, we know we could really look at the inner surface of the colon was filling the entire colon with barium.

1:03:16🔗 Adam What is that? I mean, how much does that hold? A gallon?

1:03:19🔗 Drew Yeah. It's nine feet of how big is this?

1:03:24🔗 Guest Is that radioactive?

1:03:26🔗 Drew It was radio-opaque. It shows everything up.

1:03:28🔗 All right.

1:03:29🔗 Adam That's the barium enema. They still give those, though, don't they, for other things?

1:03:34🔗 Drew You never really use those anymore, but they used to be routine. In fact, before the colonoscopy, we would get those every five years after the age of 50 to remove a screen for colon cancer.

1:03:42🔗 I don't know.

1:03:43🔗 Adam I think I'd go for one of those.

1:03:44🔗 Drew You like those instead of the colonoscopy?

1:03:46🔗 Adam Well, I mean, would you rather have some nice warm water or just a long plumber snake?

1:03:52🔗 Drew They give you some, they score for you. Let's put it that way.

1:03:56🔗 Adam Oh, they give you some drugs? Okay, that's cool.

1:04:00🔗 Guest And you get to listen to Barry Manilow?

1:04:03🔗 Adam Vanessa, through the tape or is she actually in the room?

1:04:06🔗 Drew She's just talking, she's just talking in the room. He listened to him talk.

1:04:10🔗 Guest He's actually in the room.

1:04:11🔗 Adam Vanessa?

1:04:14🔗 Drew Vanessa? You sleeping? Why is she sleeping?

1:04:17🔗 Adam It's been on hold 44 minutes, calling from Phoenix. Vanessa? All righty.

1:04:23🔗 Drew Let's see, take a...

1:04:25🔗 Adam Gives lots of BJs.

1:04:27🔗 Drew Five?

1:04:28🔗 Adam Five? All right. Holly?

1:04:32🔗 Hi.

1:04:32🔗 Hey, everybody.

1:04:34🔗 Adam Hey, what can we do you for?

1:04:37🔗 Um, first of all, I listen to you guys every night and I love you guys. Thanks. Napoleon Dynamite, I thought was hilarious. I didn't really get it the first time I watched it because I had no idea what it was about and then I watched it with my family again and I laughed really hard.

1:04:54🔗 Guest I like her bass.

1:04:56🔗 Adam Boy, you don't really have to get it, do you?

1:04:59🔗 Guest I don't think it really has a plot.

1:05:01🔗 I thought it was kind of just boring at first. I didn't understand the humor in it.

1:05:08🔗 Drew Jon and Efren understand, Loveline Callers, that is a high compliment. This is how they offer their compliments by giving you first a critique and then telling you they didn't like it and then saying, oh, it was great, I loved it.

1:05:20🔗 Guest It's kind of like a religious teaching or something.

1:05:22🔗 Drew Isn't that the kind of Loveline works they do? They call and they say, you guys suck. And so anyway.

1:05:27🔗 Adam Well, Holly, why did you watch it if you thought it was boring the first time? Why'd you watch it again?

1:05:32🔗 Well, because my family rented it when I went over there and I watched it with them and then I liked it a lot.

1:05:39🔗 Guest Because they were all laughing.

1:05:40🔗 Adam Yeah, that's what it is. Sometimes you need other people, you need other people laughing.

1:05:44🔗 Drew To tell you what's funny.

1:05:45🔗 Adam Yeah, well, Drew, what have I been doing with you for nine years?

1:05:48🔗 Drew You've been showing me what's funny. It's a little different.

1:05:49🔗 Adam That's right. Thanks, Winnie. Go ahead, Holly.

1:05:53🔗 Caller Well, the week before I get my period, I get strong urges to stimulate my clitoris, especially at night.

1:06:03🔗 Drew Good times.

1:06:03🔗 Adam Yeah, that can be sometimes, you know, when everyone's stimulating their clitoris, you just jump on it. Because I can see one of those ones who climbs on.

1:06:10🔗 Drew In the neighborhood.

1:06:10🔗 Adam Well, she laughs when things are funny.

1:06:12🔗 Drew That means it has to be in her immediate surroundings.

1:06:14🔗 Adam Families over, they're stimulating their clitorises.

1:06:17🔗 Guest Is that plural?

1:06:19🔗 Adam Clitoris is like a cactus where it's cacti. By the way, wouldn't that suck to have a clitoris like a cactus?

1:06:25🔗 Guest That would be horrible.

1:06:28🔗 Adam True, though. That would be good for your daughter.

1:06:30🔗 Guest Everybody would be walking around tired.

1:06:32🔗 Drew Would it be a barrel cactus, or one with the arms on it?

1:06:35🔗 Adam I like to say the arms at night would cast a weird shadow on the bedroom wall. What's that eight-foot cowboy doing in my daughter's room?

1:06:45🔗 Drew Put a hat on it.

1:06:45🔗 Adam She's having one of those drams. She's having one of her spells. All right, what about it, Drew?

1:06:53🔗 Drew The deal is that some women, this is again the mystery of the female human, is that when the period comes around, the progesterone levels start to go up, and some women respond to that by being sexually aroused. Other women respond to that by getting shut down. So it's one of the sort of mysteries that why some women get more aroused and some women less. But you're one of the ones to get, and also in my estimation sort of suggest that you're someone that might get, rather than shut down from progesterone containing pills, might get sort of stimulated by all that. Low dose pills might work for you.

1:07:24🔗 Adam All right. Let's talk to Crystal who's 16. You don't have to verbalize that, Drew. Crystal. Crystal. Oh, now Crystal's been on hold for 99 minutes, so Crystal's asleep. Drew, what are you looking for?

1:07:40🔗 Drew Well, first of all, I'm just sitting here thinking, you know, I've got one. You ever had something when your wax occludes your ear or gets up against your ear? Yeah. I've got that going right now and I'm dizzy as hell. I'm about to throw up.

1:07:50🔗 Adam Oh, really?

1:07:51🔗 Drew Yes. It's good times.

1:07:52🔗 Adam It's good radio if you find it.

1:07:53🔗 Drew Yeah, I know. So if something suddenly happens.

1:07:55🔗 Guest Good sound effects.

1:07:56🔗 Drew Yeah. So I'm warning you guys. Would they get the ringing? You know, the ringing? Yeah. It's like someone's got their palm over your ear.

1:08:02🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:08:02🔗 Drew And it hurts.

1:08:03🔗 Guest Wow.

1:08:04🔗 Drew And you're dizzy.

1:08:04🔗 Adam All right.

1:08:05🔗 Drew Fantastic. It's good time.

1:08:06🔗 Guest One of those ear syringe things.

1:08:07🔗 Drew Well, I know.

1:08:09🔗 Adam I have a little bit of that tonight, too.

1:08:11🔗 Drew Weird.

1:08:12🔗 Adam Well, not that I'm going to vomit. But you know, there's some days, some nights, you can hear your own voice in your head. Like when you're talking, you can hear yourself talking, you hear your voice rattling around inside your skull.

1:08:22🔗 Drew I have that too.

1:08:23🔗 Adam We call them cans.

1:08:24🔗 Guest Sorry. That's the cans.

1:08:26🔗 Adam They're just times when it's that way. Now, first off, it's 86 degrees in here.

1:08:31🔗 Drew Yes.

1:08:31🔗 Adam That's something to do with it.

1:08:32🔗 Drew Well, it's Pedro.

1:08:34🔗 Adam Pedro?

1:08:34🔗 Drew Pedro's sick.

1:08:35🔗 Adam Oh, really? Yeah. And he runs hot, too.

1:08:38🔗 Guest You know? Yeah. Is it getting kind of warm in here?

1:08:41🔗 Adam It's got that Latin blood.

1:08:42🔗 Make yourself a dang quesadilla.

1:08:45🔗 Adam They're hot blooded people. All right. Is Crystal falling asleep?

1:08:50🔗 Caller Maybe she woke up.

1:08:51🔗 Adam I'm going to cut her loose. Let's speak to Steven, who's 27. Steven?

1:08:58🔗 Caller Yeah. How are you doing?

1:08:59🔗 Adam Good. What's up?

1:09:01🔗 Caller First of all, you guys are my ride home every night, so.

1:09:04🔗 Adam Thank you.

1:09:06🔗 Caller It's actually a question for Dr. Drew. I got this, it's like ingrown hairs on my arm, right? And so it's like a pimple almost. And so I pop it, and then it comes back, and it probably eventually turns into a scab. And then I got to pick it. It's pretty gross, I know, and I know you're not feeling well, so sorry to bug you with that. But I want to know if that's a problem, because I notice my dad has the same thing, and I don't want to be 58 and doing the same thing, you know? And have these doors on your arm.

1:09:35🔗 Drew Yeah, it sounds like something we call Picker's Syndrome. Very, very descriptive and an imaginative name for what he's doing. But we normally see that in people that use stimulants. So any cocaine or speed?

1:09:47🔗 Caller No, no, no. Nothing like that. Not just in my younger, younger years. Yeah.

1:09:51🔗 Adam You say do it when you're driving?

1:09:54🔗 Caller No, no. I say you guys are my drive home. That's what I listen to.

1:09:57🔗 Adam But you don't do it when you're driving. You wait till you get home.

1:09:59🔗 Caller No, no.

1:10:00🔗 Adam And do you use a lance? Do you get a pin out? No, no.

1:10:04🔗 Caller Just my hands. It's kind of gross and embarrassing.

1:10:07🔗 Adam And these are, these are, these are forearm hairs?

1:10:10🔗 Caller Yeah, just forearm hairs.

1:10:11🔗 Drew There's no ingrown hairs. He finds a little irregularity, just picks until it pleases, basically. Exactly.

1:10:16🔗 Caller And it's kind of like an obsession. It kind of bugs me that I can't.

1:10:20🔗 Drew It is OCD, is the other thing. That's what I was going to say. If you're not a speed addict or a cocaine addict, then you worry about OCD. And if your dad had, it is a heritable type of condition, obsessive compulsive disorder.

1:10:30🔗 Adam Oh, really?

1:10:31🔗 Drew Yeah. And so that's probably what it is, you know?

1:10:34🔗 Adam I do a lot of booger picking on the road. And I really mean it. I've got to get a car with a separate booger tray because the ashtray is filled with quarters, you know?

1:10:48🔗 Drew And it's like a carpet or what?

1:10:50🔗 Guest Well, there's a couple of medical terms for that.

1:10:53🔗 Adam I'm just going to be honest with everybody.

1:10:55🔗 Caller Pickers disease, right?

1:10:56🔗 Adam I I'm on constant snuggie patrol when I'm driving in my car, like a crazy booger picker.

1:11:05🔗 Drew And like there's a problem you got yourself.

1:11:07🔗 Adam And when I yield results to I'm like, wow, there's plenty of boogers. I wonder if I think I'm just keeping up with demand. Like, sure, the steady state, my booger says snapped into overdrive booger productions. Like, hey, this guy picks his nose and he drives 40 miles a day. We got to get moving. So I do, I do the booger thing and then I toss him in the ashtray, but I realize I got change in quarters in there and stuff. And also the Snuggies will stay in there for a long time.

1:11:35🔗 Drew I am in a vomit.

1:11:36🔗 Adam So then you do that thing where you try to throw them out the window, but you do that weird twisty and flakey thing and everyone knows what you're doing. Because why else are you hanging your hand out the window doing a weird twizzler move? You're rolling your fingers. Press the digitation. You're going to produce a silver dollar from behind your nephew's ear, you know?

1:11:55🔗 Guest Every time I see anybody, I'm like, eww.

1:11:57🔗 Adam Oh, yeah. And if you're driving behind it, it's like, I'm going to get hit with a flying booger.

1:12:03🔗 Caller You don't want to fall into your system.

1:12:05🔗 Adam So you can't do the out the window thing because you're clearly not signaling and you're just wiping and flaking and everyone knows what you're doing. So I have no place to put them. Now, once in a while, I don't know if this guy, this happens to anyone else, but once in a while, there'll be that piece of paper that's floating around your car and that piece of paper have some, you know, have have some smear sheet map quest or something on it. Or for me, it could be almost anything of a will, a diploma. It doesn't matter. It's like, oh, Christ, I'm getting on.

1:12:34🔗 Drew So when you're going to take some of the appearance of like a topographical map after a few days.

1:12:37🔗 Adam Yeah, really. It looks like like pan drippings underneath an open fire grill, you know, project. And then the problem is that then every once in a while, I realize at some point, oh, my God, I needed that piece of paper. Somebody wants to see this or to pass or something. Then the humiliating task of trying to take your dried Snuggies off it. But they just they leave, they leave a kind of a trademark splotch on there. I mean, a telltale splotch. Everyone kind of knows you've been wiping your boogers with this paper. And then, so anyway, I'm just saying, if there was a separate booger, and not even a tray, but a booger vacuum, you know what I mean? Like they'll have that.

1:13:15🔗 Drew No way to be such a booger rag.

1:13:16🔗 Adam A booger pad. No, no, no. Here's what I'm saying. You know in upscale houses, they have that vacuum port, like in the house.

1:13:24🔗 Drew Yeah, yeah, oh, yeah.

1:13:26🔗 Adam I mean, just imagine this in your car.

1:13:28🔗 Drew Like, like, like, like for golf balls.

1:13:30🔗 Adam No, no, no, no, that's too much, Drew. I need a little vacuum. I need a little thing, just the size of like the cup holder. When you lift the lids, then whatever you want to toss down there ends up in a little sack in the trunk. You know what I mean? So whether it's no geez or whatever, whatever comes out of you, pal, just suction. Just pure suction down there, huh? Am I right? And look, look, it's fine.

1:13:56🔗 Guest It doesn't look like he's feeling so good either.

1:13:59🔗 Adam It'd be fine for a candy wrapper, a piece of gum, whatever. Just boom, right? Goes right into a little hopper in the trunk. Whatever you need.

1:14:08🔗 Drew I still think you need kind of a little washing.

1:14:10🔗 Adam Wait a minute, I got better too. Smoking a doobie and you see the man behind you. You know what I mean? You see the roll, pow, right? That's right. The thing is anything you don't need. Spent condom and the old ladies climbing into the cars and pow, right into it. Yeah.

1:14:26🔗 Guest It's not a bad idea.

1:14:27🔗 Adam Well, if you think about it back.

1:14:29🔗 Guest Sharper image, I think might come up with something like that.

1:14:31🔗 Adam Think about this. You got these cars, they have the plasma screen and the headrest, and then there's all sorts of stuff. The, you know, Bentley's got like an umbrella built into the door jam and stuff. Oh, yeah, yeah. Your car has 30 things that you don't even know it has. That cost you eight grand, that you don't use and you don't need. But the little booger vacuum, huh? All right.

1:14:53🔗 Drew Livesaver.

1:14:53🔗 Adam Now you're ready? Now are you ready? Because now I just came. Now this is it. This is, this, this is it. Now it comes with an attachment when you want to clean your car, just attach your little vacuum hose to it.

1:15:06🔗 Drew Now you're talking.

1:15:07🔗 Adam Sucking up around the stereo, cleaning the ashtray, huh? Little tube back to the hopper.

1:15:15🔗 Drew So it is exactly like a wall unit for a condo.

1:15:17🔗 Adam It's that, it's that, but it's in your car.

1:15:20🔗 Caller There you go.

1:15:21🔗 Drew Done and done.

1:15:22🔗 Adam I think it works.

1:15:23🔗 Guest I think so too. I mean, you guys should just start like a company.

1:15:26🔗 Adam You guys.

1:15:29🔗 Guest You're the idea. Put it all together.

1:15:30🔗 Adam Sack of manures, nodding his head while I come up with great ideas and we split the money. That's the way it always is. That's what the show is. I don't even know one of those. All right. Let's take ourselves a little break. We'll be right back after this. Dude, you got issues.

1:15:45🔗 Caller Call Loveline, 1-800-LOVE-191.

1:16:04🔗 Adam Yeah, everybody, Loveline, I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew, Efren and Jon here tonight from Napoleon Dynamite.

1:16:12🔗 Guest Hello, hello.

1:16:13🔗 Guest Hey, hey, hey.

1:16:14🔗 Adam On sale in the DVD format.

1:16:16🔗 Guest Store near you.

1:16:18🔗 Guest As we speak.

1:16:18🔗 Adam Absolutely. All right, now, we got a question for our lovely guest.

1:16:23🔗 Drew How'd you come up with the characters? Did you read the script and just sort of conceive it yourself, or did somebody coach on it?

1:16:30🔗 Guest It was a research, and the director, who co-wrote it with his wife, Jerusha, Jerusha has, we talked about the character for Pedro. He had done a short film called Beluca, and there are two Pedro's. There's Pedro and Gale. And then he talked about having to combine these two characters and creating one, and Pedro Sanchez.

1:16:51🔗 Drew And so you just read as Pedro and that was the same character you did in the film?

1:16:55🔗 Guest So I was working on a Disney cartoon at the time, and at the same time I was going up for the Alamo. So I go to the callbacks and I meet Jared, and we talked briefly about the character and we were like, okay. And my energy was really high at the time. So he was like, no, no, no. Sorry.

1:17:16🔗 Guest Drew hit the mic.

1:17:17🔗 Adam Homo retarded strikes again. So wait, were you in the Alamo, did you say?

1:17:23🔗 Guest No, no. It was either the choice between the Alamo or Napoleon Dynamite.

1:17:27🔗 Adam Oh, really?

1:17:27🔗 Guest Good choice. Wow.

1:17:29🔗 Guest What a good choice. I asked my father, I was like, what do I do? My father said, well, follow your heart. And that's the line that Napoleon says to Pedro. Follow your heart, Pedro. So, yes, I ended up doing Napoleon Dynamite.

1:17:43🔗 Guest Jared Hess was very instrumental in guiding the characters with me. I didn't read for it, so he just handed it.

1:17:49🔗 Adam Oh, he didn't read for it?

1:17:50🔗 Drew They hired you.

1:17:51🔗 Guest They hired me. And I was, you know, that's always, you know, like a dog wearing his bone. You're like, Oh, my, what am I going to do with this guy? You know, I mean, the script was.

1:18:00🔗 Adam How did you work that out? Where he hired you? They worked with him before?

1:18:04🔗 Guest No, I didn't know them. What happened was I had done another film with Jon Favreau called The Big Empty. And Jory Whites, who was one of the executive producers on Napoleon Dynamite, had cast The Big Empty. And they were using The Big Empty's office to cast the characters that were in. And they just had some dailies there. And he pointed and they said, let's try. And they sent me the script. And I was like, absolutely. And then I met him for 10 minutes afterwards. And he said, well, I just, I see him. I see him. Well, and then he started running down the block. He said, he runs kind of like this. He says, runs like David Hasselhoff. Then he comes over and then he says, and he's like a cross between Burt Reynolds and Elvis.

1:18:45🔗 Adam And did you, you know, I was, I was watching the movie and I was thinking to myself, it's a very entertaining movie, but if I was reading the script, I don't know if I would be entertained or confused or if I would get a full vision of what the movie was. Did you know what the final product was going to be when you saw the script or?

1:19:06🔗 Guest Page 15, I was laughing out loud. I'm not kidding you.

1:19:09🔗 Adam Cause so much of it seems like the delivery in the situations, but not necessarily the dialogue, the copy.

1:19:17🔗 Guest You know what it was? It was the dangs and the gosh. I was like, nobody says that anymore. It was just gosh. And just written with those exclamation points. And then also on top of that was when I got to the stake throw. I said, yeah, yeah, I'm in.

1:19:33🔗 Drew Did you see, remember the Matthew McConaughey character in Dazed and Confused?

1:19:37🔗 Guest Oh, great.

1:19:37🔗 Drew Doesn't that kind of remind you of him a little bit?

1:19:42🔗 Guest Yeah, I'd say Rico is like that character a few years down the road.

1:19:46🔗 Drew Right, right.

1:19:46🔗 Guest I hadn't thought of that, but that's actually a very good point.

1:19:49🔗 Adam We have a question for our talented guest tonight. Is it coral?

1:19:55🔗 Drew Coral?

1:19:56🔗 It's a coral, like the reef, yeah.

1:19:59🔗 Adam All right. 15, what's up?

1:20:01🔗 Oh, I was just wondering like how you guys like, well, now we figure out how Jon got into production, but like how Efren got involved with it.

1:20:11🔗 Guest Well, I've been doing it for years, I've been working on a couple of TV shows and commercials and some independent films.

1:20:18🔗 Adam What the hell did you choose this over the Alamo for, by the way?

1:20:23🔗 Guest It was luck.

1:20:24🔗 Adam But no, but what was the feeling this was a bigger, better part, right?

1:20:31🔗 Guest For the Alamo, it was a supporting role, and for Napoleon Dynamite, it was one of the lead roles.

1:20:36🔗 Adam Yeah, but what I mean is, I mean, I saw the Alamo and I enjoyed it, and I probably could have done a little better at the box office. It was enjoyable, I thought it was a pretty good film, but there were 500 people in it, a couple, some leads, but a lot of people. I mean, was your choice be a bigger fish in a smaller pond or a smaller fish in a bigger pond?

1:20:57🔗 Drew Sam Houston, Pedro, Sam Houston, Pedro.

1:21:00🔗 Adam Well, I guess that's what I'm saying is, you really got to stand out and really got to shine in Napoleon Dynamite as opposed to a smaller, I mean, yet still substantial, but not being able to do your own thing in the Alamo.

1:21:17🔗 Drew What he's asking is, what the hell were you thinking?

1:21:19🔗 Adam Yeah, that's what I mean. No, was that part of the decision making?

1:21:22🔗 Guest That was part of the decision making. You know, my manager at the time said, well, you know, there's the Alamo. It was a bigger picture. You know, there's a big deal, but the role that you had wasn't, I mean, you'd be seen in several spots and then you'd be playing the General Sun or something like that.

1:21:38🔗 Adam But no one would have been yapping about it.

1:21:40🔗 Guest Right, exactly, exactly.

1:21:43🔗 Adam On the other hand, you do Napoleon Dynamite, maybe never gets distributed, you know? I mean, you don't know that, there's a lot, that...

1:21:50🔗 Guest Nobody knew it was going to be like this.

1:21:52🔗 Adam Right, that's what I'm saying.

1:21:53🔗 Guest My teacher, Gloria Gifford, she was going, okay, you do the training and she goes, all right, the roles will come up and as an actor you just want to work and be creative about it. So that plus my father helped me decide to do Napoleon Dynamite.

1:22:10🔗 Adam Well, he just said follow your heart. That's kind of a cop out, I gotta say.

1:22:14🔗 Drew Then he read the script and said, hey, Efren, do this one.

1:22:17🔗 Guest My father read the script and he was like, yeah, exactly, you know.

1:22:20🔗 Guest That's a great part.

1:22:25🔗 Adam I remember my stepdad telling me to follow my stepmom to the door and then telling her to lock it behind me.

1:22:31🔗 Drew That was your dad.

1:22:32🔗 Adam That was my dad, yeah. Said, son, follow your stepmom. That's what he said. Said, where are you going? Front door. She's throwing your futon out there. It's out on the lawn.

1:22:40🔗 Drew Enjoy.

1:22:40🔗 Caller Enjoy.

1:22:41🔗 Adam All right, Coral?

1:22:43🔗 Yeah.

1:22:45🔗 Coral?

1:22:45🔗 Drew Is that it?

1:22:46🔗 Yeah. No, I just, you guys really chose like the worst night to like give out that DVD because it took forever to get into the screeners, man.

1:22:54🔗 Drew Yeah, but you're 15. You don't get one anyway.

1:22:57🔗 Caller No, I mean, no, I'm saying it took me forever to get in because all these people are trying to get into the DVD.

1:23:02🔗 Drew I see. I see.

1:23:05🔗 Adam Sorry, baby. Sorry to cram you in 15-year-old snotty style.

1:23:10🔗 Guest Well, you got some tenacity. That's for sure.

1:23:11🔗 Adam Yes.

1:23:12🔗 Guest You hung in there, didn't you?

1:23:13🔗 Caller Yeah. Just hanging up and redoubling, hanging up and redoubling.

1:23:18🔗 Adam How many times do you have to do that?

1:23:19🔗 Caller I've been trying since about 1030.

1:23:22🔗 Adam OK. Well, she's calling from DC. So.

1:23:25🔗 Caller No, no, the state.

1:23:27🔗 Adam Oh, the state. Sorry. OK. So it's the same time, right? Yeah. We're going about an hour. Hi, baby. Cry me a river. Do I? I tell you what, I decided to speak of hanging up and calling. You know, I get angry and obsessed sometimes.

1:23:43🔗 Caller You? No way.

1:23:45🔗 Adam I currently have about five guys running around my house working. And it's I decided the other day that I would call and get one of them to pick up the phone, which they do on occasion, but not all the time. They won't just pick up the house line. But I just decided, all right, I'm going to call and do the one ring and the hang up, which sometimes will prompt some of them to pick up the phone because I had something, I want to tell them something to do on the house. And I couldn't get a message over there. And I called 736 times. And my thing was just, I'm now, now I'm in, I'm in 736 times. And I rang the phone, it would ring seven times. And then the phone machine would pick up and then I would hang up and then I would redial. I did it for over an hour. And I realized like, if you were one of the five people that was working around the house somewhere, you must have just heard the phone ringing non stop. Just, it just is one hour of the phone ringing. And then, you know, three seconds in between before I hit the speed dial again.

1:24:51🔗 Drew Did you just pile up in your car and start screaming at those guys?

1:24:53🔗 Adam What do you mean pile up? I was sitting, I was in my office.

1:24:55🔗 Drew No, but I mean, did you get in your car, go out there?

1:24:57🔗 Adam No, I just sat there and I said, I'm not. And here's the thing, after I did about 30 of them, no, after I did about 11 of them, I was like, look, that's it. And people were like, Adam, forget it, get back to work. And I was like, you don't understand. I'm going to keep dialing my home number until I pick it up. I'm not stopping. And I did it for over an hour. And I just hit redial, hang up, redial, hang up, redial, 700 and something times. Eventually, the guy with the biggest attitude there picked up the phone. And it was Billy. And I said, you know, I was fuming now. And of course, he was casual. I was like, what? What? What? How many? What? And he was like, I just heard it ring. I just heard it. I was, whoa, whoa, whoa. I was down in the basement.

1:25:40🔗 Guest Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

1:25:41🔗 Adam And he said, the guy's from New York. You know, this is what New York guys do. I said, I said, the phone's been ringing a thousand times, you know? And he goes, what kind of job do you have where you can sit around and dial the phone for an hour? And I said, listen, don't worry about what kind of job I have. You should hope that one day you get the kind of job where you get to sit around and call your house for an hour and a half in the middle of the day.

1:26:06🔗 Drew Oh, that's funny.

1:26:07🔗 Adam Yes. How dare you?

1:26:08🔗 Guest Just becomes white noise to those guys working.

1:26:11🔗 Adam Yeah. How dare he attack me? Speaking of white noise, be a good name for that guy.

1:26:15🔗 Caller He's white and he's loud.

1:26:17🔗 Adam Andrew?

1:26:18🔗 Yes.

1:26:19🔗 Adam You're 16?

1:26:20🔗 Caller Yep.

1:26:21🔗 Adam What's up?

1:26:22🔗 Caller Okay. Well, first I wanted to say that I've been missing for a long time the first time I called. And, you know, I just want to say to Efren and Jon that Napoleon Dynamite was a really good movie. Okay.

1:26:36🔗 Guest Thanks, Andrew.

1:26:37🔗 Guest Thanks a lot, man.

1:26:38🔗 Caller Okay. And I was wondering if it was possible to get blue balls from a wet dream.

1:26:45🔗 Drew And blue balls means you're not ejaculate. Oh, you mean you don't ejaculate during the wet dream?

1:26:50🔗 Adam Well, you gotta have a wet dream.

1:26:52🔗 Drew Yeah, it's not wet. You mean you have a sexual dream where you don't ejaculate and you end up with painful testes?

1:26:57🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:26:58🔗 Drew So you did not ejaculate?

1:27:00🔗 Caller Well, I was just wondering if it was possible. I'm not so sure it happened to me, but...

1:27:03🔗 Drew Wait a minute.

1:27:05🔗 Adam Shall I get the monolith from Easter Island on the phone?

1:27:08🔗 Drew Can I get the monolith to talk to Andrew? Maybe he'll understand the same tongue.

1:27:12🔗 Adam Hey, Andrew.

1:27:13🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:27:14🔗 Adam Here's the whole thing. A wet dream for a 16-year-old male that does not involve an orgasm is just falling asleep.

1:27:23🔗 Drew It's not wet.

1:27:25🔗 Adam Yeah. I'm just saying there's not a 16-year-old male in the country. It doesn't go eight hours without dreaming about nailing a school teacher.

1:27:32🔗 Drew Right.

1:27:33🔗 Adam Or some shit from a movie. Right. Right. So if nothing is produced, it is not a wet dream.

1:27:38🔗 Guest It's a dry dream.

1:27:39🔗 Drew But my question to him is, did he have pain after ejaculation or as a result of not ejaculating?

1:27:44🔗 Caller It was after.

1:27:46🔗 Drew After ejaculating. That's not blue balls then.

1:27:50🔗 Guest Isn't that a wet dream?

1:27:51🔗 Drew It's a wet dream now because something came out. And men can get pain after ejaculation.

1:27:56🔗 Guest With us, Efren, we're right here.

1:27:57🔗 Drew Men can get pain after ejaculation as a result of spasm of the pubococcygous muscle. You get kind of a visceral pain, Andrew. It kind of feels like you're kicked in the nuts, kind of. Yeah. Yeah, that's just something you're gonna have periodically. You know, that's just you.

1:28:12🔗 Guest Must have been a good looking girl in that dream.

1:28:13🔗 Drew It's a muscle spasm, basically. And it's something that comes with it.

1:28:16🔗 Adam And plus, you're doing, I mean, you've probably been grinding on that football pillow your grandmother gave you nine years ago for four hours. Four years before the orgasm, you know?

1:28:28🔗 Drew Right. The, the, the, the rest of the soul, rest of the soul, by the way. Rest in peace. But the prolonged stimulation does tend to predispose to these spasms. But some guys just, they're in that, just have that.

1:28:38🔗 Adam Let me ask you this.

1:28:39🔗 Drew Some guys never get that.

1:28:39🔗 Adam Let me ask this, Drew. Can or what do you think the numbers are? I know you have no numbers, but, but project. If you sleep on your back, shouldn't you have less wet dreams? Thank you.

1:28:53🔗 Drew You would think.

1:28:54🔗 Adam One would think, oh, another thing my car vacuum could take care of.

1:28:58🔗 Caller Oh, man.

1:29:00🔗 Adam Oh, look out.

1:29:01🔗 Drew Special attachments.

1:29:02🔗 Adam Oh, special attachment.

1:29:04🔗 Guest Yeah, that's the $29.99 attachment.

1:29:07🔗 Adam That special attachment, I have more mileage on it than my Bridgestones. And it'd be one of those things, too, where my wife would be like, oh, let's vacuum out the car. What do we do? Get the, not that one! Honey, what? Just put it, just set it down.

1:29:21🔗 Caller Put it down.

1:29:21🔗 Drew Oh, God, no.

1:29:22🔗 Caller Oh, God, no.

1:29:22🔗 Drew Not that one.

1:29:23🔗 Adam Not that one.

1:29:24🔗 Guest That's for sucking up the oil out of the top of the manifold.

1:29:28🔗 Adam Top of the manifold. All right, everybody, let's take ourselves a little break. Napoleon Dynamite, out on DVD as we speak. Let's take a little break. We'll be right back after this.

1:29:44🔗 Caller 1-800-LOVE-191 Yeah! Hit it on!

1:30:11🔗 Adam Efren here tonight, Jon here tonight from Napoleon Dynamite.

1:30:15🔗 Guest Dynamite.

1:30:16🔗 Adam Is his last name Dynamite? I mean, I know he writes it, and I know it is, but is it supposed?

1:30:24🔗 Guest I don't know.

1:30:26🔗 Guest I think Jared once told me that it was that he had changed his name, and I think at one point, I'm not mistaken, was there once a scene where he talked about his name in the movie, but it's not in the movie now?

1:30:37🔗 Adam It didn't seem addressed in the movie, and then you could call the movie Napoleon Dynamite, but you think his name would be Napoleon Johnson or something when he wrote it on a school newspaper, but he writes Napoleon Dynamite.

1:30:54🔗 Guest For some reason, I assumed that he actually changed his last name to Dynamite.

1:30:59🔗 Adam Well, listen, artistic license, you know, what the hell. Sally?

1:31:03🔗 Hello?

1:31:04🔗 Adam You're 22?

1:31:05🔗 Caller Yes. Hi. Oh my God. I can't believe I'm on. Oh my God. I've listened to you guys like forever.

1:31:10🔗 Adam I like her banks.

1:31:12🔗 Caller Go ahead.

1:31:13🔗 Caller Well, actually I have a question for Dr. Drew, but it's just so funny. Like I'm talking to Adam, like your rants are like so fun, like about the toilet, like the toilet seat. That's just hilarious.

1:31:24🔗 Adam Thanks. Drew just went and dealt with the remnants.

1:31:27🔗 Drew Yeah, that's why it's a shattered throne there.

1:31:31🔗 Adam Dropped a ball kick on it.

1:31:34🔗 Caller Yeah, well actually, my question was for Dr. Drew.

1:31:38🔗 Drew Enough of that, Adam.

1:31:39🔗 Adam All right, go ahead.

1:31:40🔗 Drew That's my question.

1:31:41🔗 Caller Yeah, well Adam, it's like, oh my God, I love you so much, but I want to know, because I'm like very irregular, like my periods, I haven't had my period in like five months. I'm not pregnant, you know, but I want to like, I want to go on the pill because I think I have to like regulate like my cycle or whatever.

1:32:00🔗 Drew That's a good idea.

1:32:01🔗 Caller Yeah, but I don't know which one to take because I've never, I've never.

1:32:04🔗 Drew Well, you go see the doctor and they will tell you which one to take.

1:32:07🔗 Caller Well, yeah, but they're like, because I have, I went to the doctor and they said that I have like cysts on my ovaries.

1:32:15🔗 Drew Right, then they will then select the pill for you and tell you which one to take.

1:32:19🔗 Caller Okay, I've heard you talk about Yasmin.

1:32:22🔗 Drew No, that wouldn't be good for you. No, that's not where to start.

1:32:27🔗 Adam Is there a commercial where there's hot chicks, you know?

1:32:30🔗 Drew Of course, or with a name like Yasmin, of course.

1:32:32🔗 Adam Taekwondo and everything.

1:32:34🔗 Drew Yasmin is a very low dose progesterone-containing pill that it's been advocated for various things. I just, I'm not too red hot on it. If you have ovarian cysts, they probably start with a straight monophasic pill. If you want to get fancy, think about the transdermal or the nuva ring, that sort of thing would probably be good for you.

1:32:50🔗 Adam Let me say this, I watch all those birth control commercials intently because they have lots of smoking hot chicks. And there's some sort of law that if you do a birth control commercial, they have to have one of every nationality. There's like a hot red hair chick, a hot Mexican chick, and a hot black chick, except for the hot black chick just looks like a white chick painted black.

1:33:10🔗 Guest It's just like light, light black.

1:33:12🔗 Adam Yeah, light and all the white features and everything, and just green eyes and straight hair. So it looks like a white chick that got spray painted black. And then they, you know, they got one of everything, okay? And it's hot. I'll tell you the one thing they don't have, the one thing they never have on any of these commercials, a chick with a nice rack. I mean, I mean a nice D cup going on, you know what I mean?

1:33:31🔗 Drew Athletic look.

1:33:32🔗 Adam It's always athletic. It's always thin and it can never be sort of salacious or sexual and they can never have a rack. I mean, think about all of those commercials where the chick can never have a rack and everyone makes a big deal out of it. It's like, oh, you get these big heaving bosomed women to sell your beer and stuff. Most of the commercials where they have hot chicks, even if they're in bras or in their bathing suits or whatever, always something, something B cup, maybe right around the B cup.

1:33:58🔗 Drew But that's for products that are designed to be directed towards women.

1:34:01🔗 Adam Yeah, but what about my needs? What about my needs?

1:34:03🔗 Drew Yeah, your needs are the beer commercials.

1:34:05🔗 Adam Yeah, just chicks just painting and throwing karate kicks and riding tandem bikes. And I have a good time.

1:34:12🔗 Drew They must have done some research and maybe the women are sort of threatened by the big boobs.

1:34:16🔗 Adam Yeah, well, I ain't scared of them, brother. I say bring them on.

1:34:20🔗 Guest From the actor's perspective, it's probably good that you have like the big breasted women doing the beer commercials and the women who can't get the beer commercials because their breasts aren't as big. They can go and do the...

1:34:30🔗 Drew Yeah, so just to create work for everybody.

1:34:32🔗 Adam Yeah, yeah. I just like that one of every nationality. Look at us. We're all getting aft by our boyfriend. None of us are married. Here's what I do. I basically take this pill. I do a little painting. I work in acrylic, do a little Taekwondo, and then I go home and have a life partner bang the bejesus out of me. It's awesome. Yeah. All right. Let's take a little break. We'll be right back after this. All right, well, we just found out something interesting in the show's over. I want to thank Jon and Efrain for coming in here from Napoleon Dynamite.

1:35:38🔗 Guest We're glad to be here.

1:35:39🔗 Adam We appreciate having you out on DVD. As we speak, go out and get one to complete your connection. Guys, best of luck. Whenever you have something else coming up, come on by. Give it a nice plug.

1:35:53🔗 Guest Can I plug something real quick?

1:35:54🔗 Adam Sure, yeah.

1:35:55🔗 Guest I got a show on the 25th of this month at the Mint. It's a music club. I'm going to be playing there with a band called the Mere Mortals. So come on down and have a good time.

1:36:04🔗 Adam What time is it?

1:36:05🔗 Guest It'll be starting at about 9 o'clock, going all night. We're playing three sets.

1:36:09🔗 Drew What day again?

1:36:09🔗 Guest That's the 25th of February, which is a Friday night.

1:36:12🔗 Adam At the Mint in Hollywood, right?

1:36:15🔗 Guest It's on Pico in Crescent Heights.

1:36:17🔗 Drew Outstanding.

1:36:17🔗 Adam All right. And until next time, this is Adam Carolla for Dr. Drew saying mahalo.

1:36:24🔗 Guest He's a slash hammer.

1:36:26🔗 Caller This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed in this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or this station. The producer for Loveline is Aningold. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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