4:30🔗
Adam
Hey, everybody, it's the Love Line. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-L-E-E-1-9-1. Dr. Drew, board certified. We have a certified physician, addiction medicine specialist tonight, John Cho and Kal Penn, both here tonight from Harold and Kumar, go to White Castle, which is out on DVD. And let me be honest. I want to be honest with both the boys. We usually don't have guys to come out because movies come out on DVD.
5:25🔗
Adam
No, I said, please. I like these guys. And here's the thing. Here's how we do this show. A, we're desperate. We're like a fat chick who went stag to the prom. We're not proud. Juice us up and go. But no, we really did like you guys and we thought, these guys are smart. These guys are sharp and it's easy. So come on back and enjoy. And I saw, I think I was watching Roper and Ebert last week and I think they said, they weren't reviewing, they were just doing a Here's What's Out on DVD. And I think they did Harold and Kumar go to White Castle. I think they said they had lots of fun stuff in it. And go check it out. Am I right or am I making this up?
6:09🔗
Caller
They've been really great to us, Ebert and Roper. Right. And they did love the movie. So thanks to them, wherever they are.
6:26🔗
Adam
And how does it work? And do you guys know when it probably varies from movie to movie? But, you know, in the overall scope of things, they're going to make some movie, they're going to make some money from selling it to video channels or paper channels and movies, airplanes, hotels, international stuff.
6:44🔗
Adam
What do you got to get like like if a movie is 20 million bucks and you get 10 million back in the theater, you're still in good shape?
6:58🔗
Adam
I had to tell you that. Drew was in New York Minute and he would have killed himself because the thing was like 60 million bucks and got back $4. Two of that was yours, Drew.
7:14🔗
Caller
Yeah, right, right, right, right. All right. I mean, I think we did spend the budget that was allowed to make our movie in advertising. I mean, it's that insane. And then you've got foreign sales, DVD sales, and you know, it just goes on and on.
7:27🔗
Guest
Well, these numbers too, they can predict based on the first weekend, what the overall projection is going to be and how long they're going to keep it in the theaters, when they're going to pull it back. It's a weird secret.
7:47🔗
Adam
Lots of boobies in the movies. And the good thing about the DVD release is you get to see more boobies than you would have normally seen.
8:19🔗
Adam
Let me tell you about a thrill I had at the dentist today. Oh, first off, I will not regale you with the horror stories of what's going to go on in my mouth in the next few weeks. Other than.
8:36🔗
Adam
Yeah, they got to do that. There's a root canal. The guy just said basically he's going to light an M80 off of my mouth and then it's going to come in there.
8:51🔗
Adam
Yeah. But that's not where the victory is. But let me just say this. Let me say, again, I want to talk etiquette for dentists because I got this one. I got this one. The guy's taking the thing in there and he's doing it. And it comes up on the screen now. Yeah, he's got a monitor and he takes the x-ray and it comes up on the thing. And I'm just sort of reading my Guinness Book of World Records and seeing if I might qualify for longest time in a dentist chair in one sitting, you know, coming up here. And the guy just goes, whoa, like he gave like an audible like, oh, Christ. And by the way, this guy who looks up f-ed up teeth all day long, he gave like a yow. And then then proceed to tell me had some of them doesn't need a root canal. But here's here's the victory part. I told this guy, I got tired of going to the dentist and having spray the cold spring water on my teeth while, you know, they clean your teeth or they drill. And when they rinse, they spray that cold compressed cold water. And it's really painful if you're sensitive at all. And it comes out of the ground and it's in an office building. If you happen to be sitting there in the middle of winter, the thing's going to come out about 50 degrees, maybe 46 degrees. And they sprayed all over your teeth and it hurts. Thank you. And I would say, hey, I got a great invention. And this is where it gets bad. I would say, I got a great invention. How about a inline water heater for this? You can spray nice warm water on your teeth. And now this is where I was going through the roof. Oh, they got those. That's the answer. And I like when the guys think they're showing off and they're digging deeper. They got those. Oh, really? They do. Oh, yeah. How long have they had this? Oh, Christ. I don't know. Since I've been doing it. I mean, it's 30 years. Okay, now like steam's coming out of my head, you know, I'll go, why don't you go get one? And then here's the other one they do too, is they go, yeah, I know, because everyone asked.
10:44🔗
Adam
Go get. I just sounded like Enos from Dukes of Hazzard. I just like when they do that. Yeah, they've been around for a hundred years and yeah, you're not the only one who, they're about 28 bucks, probably 30 install.
11:06🔗
Adam
No, I'll tell you what the thrill was. The thrill was I dumped that Dennis and I went to this new guy and he was like, look, I want to do this, I want to do that, I want to do the other. This is two years ago. I haven't seen him in two years. And I said, okay, listen, Weisenheimer, I'll tell you what, go get that inline water heater, then you will have my business. And it was kind of a fun, you know, he didn't need my business, but he went and did it. And I hadn't seen him in two years. And I came back and said, they're all in and everyone loves them. And they comment on it every time. And I tell them it's you that did. And I went out, got my teeth clean, and she was just spraying that warm, jacuzzi water. It's like my teeth were taking a bath. And it was perfect.
11:47🔗
Adam
No, not drilling. Not drilling, but you know, when you get your teeth cleaned and they're scraping.
12:01🔗
Adam
When I got my teeth cleaned, the woman was spraying all that nice warm water. It felt good. It was nice.
12:17🔗
Adam
Before any of the other stuff. Before the rainforest poster on the ceiling. Before the giant tooth pen holder that's at the receptionist desk. A couple more. I got a little more dentist stuff to talk about. Just a couple more things. Shouldn't, Drew, we've spoken about this before, but it's been a while. You know the reminder thing you get in the mail? Can't they have one for adults? Are they all geared for 8 year olds?
12:48🔗
Caller
The whole picture of a separated tooth from the body. Yeah, it meant, you know, comically portrayed is just awful.
13:08🔗
Adam
I don't need like, yeah, the tooth with teeth holding a toothbrush and sword fighting with the gingivitis guy, you know, like just just give me a little heads up. I don't need the world to know I've missed a couple of dentist appointments. Just give me a little heads up. It's time to come in. By the way, when the gas company wants their money, they don't have like Mr. Heat Mizer with a flamethrower or something. It just says, you owe 30 bucks. You know what I'm saying? Why the dentist? Why we all become retarded when it comes to the dentist? Is there any other place that does that? I mean, you got you could drive a Lexus and it's time for servicing. Is there a car with big lipstick on it that's pouting? It's crying. It needs its oil change. Yes. Just get make some for kids. I understand.
13:52🔗
And by the way, the kids don't get the mail.
14:02🔗
Adam
Let's work on that. This have some adult look. I want to look like I'm invited to a tooth cleaning. We formally request your presence.
14:09🔗
Drew
You need to clean your services out as a commencement speaker for dental schools. You know, let's set them all straight. Just one at a time, one dental school at a time.
14:20🔗
I went to the dentist's day to get a cleaning, and I got a little postcard in the mail.
14:24🔗
No, I got it last week.
14:25🔗
That said, reminder, your cleaning is next week.
14:28🔗
Oh, I went today.
14:30🔗
It was excellent. I had a wonderful experience.
14:49🔗
No, no.
14:58🔗
Guest
My uncle is my dentist and I got to say he has this thing that last time I went in, I had to get nitrous because of something he was doing.
15:06🔗
Guest
Well, he put on this video of a monkey brushing its teeth. A chimpanzee, I'm not kidding you, with a huge yellow toothbrush.
15:18🔗
Guest
Amazing. Every dentist who is listening right now should please buy this DVD and play it while they're cleaning anybody's teeth.
15:27🔗
Adam
Anderson, that's not brushing. That's not flossing either. But the one they had today, a seal brushing his teeth, by the way. I swear to God. That's the video I saw in the waiting room. And before.
15:39🔗
Adam
And then one more pet peeve. And then we're taking some phone calls with the dentists. The the the pumice, the the pumice that they use to clean, you know, when they do the, you know, when they're painting a lot of.
16:10🔗
Adam
No, no. I said, look, what do they make toothpaste out of? That's the one you use, you idiots.
16:17🔗
Adam
Yeah, you don't use pina colada. First off, this stuff tastes like hell because it's pure pumice and there's like a little fluoride and it's never going to taste good. So don't try to make it taste good, just use what people are used to. They have like wild cherry, tropical, this and that, cookie dough. By the way-
16:35🔗
Adam
No, I just got angry. I didn't need to try it. But I was like, what kind of message is this to send your teeth, by the way? We're going to pound some cookie dough into it? And by the way, what about the kids? You're telling them not to eat that stuff. It's going to rot their teeth out. Now we're using it to clean your teeth? It doesn't make sense at all.
16:53🔗
Your dentist is wacky.
16:54🔗
Mine was spearmint flavor today.
17:05🔗
Adam
Look, you would have to... You know how you would have to eat an entire kilo of weed to do that?
17:18🔗
Well, I just wanted to...
17:20🔗
Adam
But look, all I'm saying is... No, but seriously, how terribly wrong could you go wrong? How far wrong could you go with something that actually tasted like toothpaste when you're cleaning people's teeth? Is that going to be outrage? How dare you? This doesn't taste like brisket. Is that what they're going to say? You're cleaning your teeth. It should taste like toothpaste.
17:39🔗
Yes.
17:41🔗
Yes.
17:49🔗
Caller
Yeah, I'm a big fan of Loveline. I've been listening for a while, but I called tonight because I just saw Harold and Kumar go to White Castle about a week ago.
18:03🔗
Caller
Oh, you know, honestly, I think it was probably one of the funniest movies that I've seen in, I don't know, a year or two. I loved it, honestly, it was great.
18:19🔗
Caller
Well, yeah, I'm ripped right now, so this is kind of crazy. Yeah, yeah, this is nuts. But anyway, and I was wondering if there's going to be a sequel, because obviously the end led up like there was going to be a...
18:31🔗
Caller
Jason, my young friend, I'm glad you asked. The sequel, the end of the, for those of you who don't know, the, our movie ends with a promise of a sequel. It sort of sets up a sequel going to Amsterdam, and that would depend on the DVD sales. If we sell these babies, then we're probably going to make another one. We're signed on to do it.
18:52🔗
Guest
There's a certain number, financial number that they haven't told us, but if it hits that number or goes above that, then we'll get a sequel and that'll be called Harold and Kumar Go to Amsterdam. The script's actually written already.
19:02🔗
Drew
Adam, sidebar, this is so they get these guys out there to hustle those DVDs out there. It's going to be a sequel no matter what.
19:10🔗
Drew
They get them to go out there. They say, oh, there'll be no sequel unless you guys sell these DVDs. You guys selling their asses off.
19:22🔗
Adam
Yeah, I feel like it was a good movie, made, did well, but not great, and this is, it's on the cusp, and by the way, they will do sequels to movies sometimes, that you're like, what?
19:44🔗
Adam
Well, they do that, they do that with kids movies especially, because they get hooked early and then they have to go, they have to go see the second one.
19:58🔗
Yeah.
20:00🔗
Caller
Yeah. What's up? Well, my best friend came to me a few months ago, and he told me that he's liked me for two years now. And that's a big uh-oh, because I trust him with everything.
20:19🔗
Drew
The uh-oh is that she trusted him, she's confiding in him, he's pining for her, and she got nothing for him.
20:30🔗
Adam
Well, what's the trust? Do you mean you think he's going to go talk to the press or something?
20:35🔗
Caller
No, no, no. See, there's another problem. He came to me and he said that he really liked me. So, I was like, okay, well, I'm sorry, I don't feel that way. So, he came back to me last Friday, and he said, well, I don't like you that way anymore. I felt like it was childish, but.
20:58🔗
Adam
Let me tell you what you have to do when you do that. I've tried it. You have to beat off, and then you have to get over there within 15 minutes. Otherwise, you know what it's like? It's like when you're sick and you vomit, you just vomit, you're like, a little reprieve, you get back in bed, and you're like, all right, this is good. I'm going to get a good 20 minutes in before I feel nausea for things to start spinning again. That's what it is. I would just do it out in the bushes, out in front of the house, and then just run in with my pants down.
21:35🔗
I don't care who hears.
21:38🔗
Drew
Oh, Lindsay. But, Lindsay, you're also worried because you lose your best friend, and you also have someone who's got a ton of information about you out there.
21:51🔗
Caller
His older brother came to me today, and now his older brother wants me to go out with him this weekend. And I told him no, and he asked me why. What?
22:18🔗
Drew
Well, don't bother. The big brother is sort of intruding on his brother's friend, even if he didn't know that he's a brother. He knows the brother is pining for you. I'm sure he knows it. A. B. Even if he didn't, it's inappropriate for him to sort of interfere with a friendship with his brother. Get him out. Whatever.
22:47🔗
Adam
But as of 1201, he should be 23, right? He's still 18. Hold on. Let me yell it true for a sec. He's 18. He's a year older than her.
22:59🔗
Adam
Here's what I'm saying. Don't come down on this guy. This guy is several months older than Lindsay.
23:07🔗
Adam
He sees his brother is not asked and not got off the pot in two years and he's coming down for a little act.
23:12🔗
Drew
I understand. But I'm not saying he's some sort of awful human being. I'm saying just, yeah, it's not appropriate.
23:25🔗
Caller
That's my problem. I'm worried about losing my best friend and I can't talk to him about it without him...
23:31🔗
Adam
He's only your best friend because... He's only your best friend because he had the hots for you all this time.
23:38🔗
Caller
Yeah. I do understand that. But that completely messes up everything because we have a group of like four really good friends. And we've all been really good friends for quite a few, like three years now.
23:52🔗
Drew
But he's been hanging in because he's had the hots for you the whole time. And by the way, he can still... Some people can sort of put a lid on that and still be your friend. It's a little painful for him, may not be a good thing for him.
24:03🔗
Adam
Again, every 15 minutes they're going to have to excuse themselves. Because it's like you become like a...
24:24🔗
Drew
No, it can be. It can be. But it's in a way not fair for him because he won't be able to get on to somebody else.
24:32🔗
Adam
We don't even know if it is a friendship because, I mean, it is, but you know what I'm saying? He's there because he's attracted you. So, Lindsay, why can't you be attracted to him? What's wrong with him? What do you got going?
24:43🔗
Caller
I'm more than willing to give him a try. This thing is the last. What? Okay. No, he's my really good friend. And if he really likes me and he wants me to... No, I'm not willing to commit and I'm not willing to really go there, but...
25:03🔗
Caller
No, what I'm saying is that I'd consider moving him from the friend category and I'd at least... Because I'd never even thought about that before.
25:17🔗
Drew
No. No, no. Lindsay, generally speaking, unless you are... Because he is so into you, if you start going down this path and you don't find it there for yourself, it's really going to destroy him.
25:27🔗
Adam
Plus, you move a guy from friend into boyfriend category, then you have to find some other stooge patsy to come in and kiss your ass and that thing. And before you know it, the ship is on.
25:36🔗
Drew
And by the way, once he goes into boyfriend, he ain't going back to friend. At this stage, he can still maintain friend. Possibly.
25:47🔗
Adam
Well, listen, enjoy your hotness while it lasts. I can see you're having fun with it. You know what you got. Enjoy that hotness and just find find a guy. This is a problem that she don't torture radio show. Part of it was I'm so hot and it's really causing problems in my life. Let's enjoy it. Your name's Lindsay. You're hot. Enjoy. Some guy. Don't worry. There'll be guys to screw you over to. They're out there. Oh, yes. Oh, yes. Here's the point. Yeah, don't screw it. Leave him alone.
26:24🔗
Yeah. Hi.
26:34🔗
Caller
Actually, I watch Food Network a lot and I saw that you, Adam, are going to be on his night dish with Rachel Ray tomorrow night.
26:40🔗
Yeah.
26:54🔗
Adam
Yeah, she's fun. She's like one of those spunky chicks who's really lively and probably has a eating disorder, but she's got a lot of personality.
27:03🔗
Adam
Yeah. No, she's fun and we went to that restaurant I own like a hundredth of and we sat there and pretended like it was fun.
27:14🔗
Adam
Well, I don't know. A Malfi. Whatever. It's on La Brea. It's right by the Acme Theater there. Good food. Reasonable prices. So come on in. Tell them Adam sent you. Yeah. Get a free cobbler.
27:33🔗
Adam
Oh, okay. All right. No, I'm hip, but it said saw your... Oh, sorry. You're going to be on the Food... All right. I should never have taken that call.
27:49🔗
Adam
That's right. John Cho and Kal Penn here tonight. They are from Carol and Kumar. Go to White Castle out on DVD and a big double thumbs up from Ebert and Roper. We'll take a quick break. Be right back after this. John Cho, Kal Penn here tonight. Boy, four names, four syllables, Drew. That's the way I like it. Keep it moving. Let's go. Harold and ironically in a very windy title though. You know what I mean? Lot of words in there.
28:51🔗
Adam
Harold and Kumar go to White Castle, everybody. It is out on DVD as we speak and got a nice recommendation from Ebert and Roper over the weekend.
29:10🔗
Drew
The original film was R, right? Because I heard my kids wanted to see it and I wouldn't let them see it.
29:19🔗
Guest
It succeeded that and the great thing is that because there is no rating, young children can buy it.
29:26🔗
Caller
The extreme is also a reference to a bunch of guys. These pack of skateboarders in the movie who walk around. They're like the Mountain Dew parody kids who walk around going, extreme, extreme cheddar, extreme kayaking. And they just shout extreme with everything.
29:44🔗
Adam
I love that Mountain Dew, boy. Nectar the Tards. Yeah. You know my plan about putting a sterilization agent in that stuff.
29:58🔗
Adam
I don't know. I wish that's one thing I'd like to substantiate. I really would. Now, I feel and look, I'm not saying you drink one and you can never have kids. But I'm saying you do more in a six pack a week and you will be rendered sterile for the time you're doing that. Nothing wrong with that.
30:28🔗
Adam
Yeah. Oh my God. Imagine all the unwanted. I'll be awesome. What a utopia. A few years. Laura?
30:45🔗
Adam
Because I'm going to do 20 minutes on frutopia, by the way, if you don't start talking about a disappointment. You used to see those vending machines with all the fruit on them. Like, this is going to be great. This tastes like ass. This sucks. What happened to that crap? What were they thinking? I know. All right. Here we go. Should we be angry? You are. All right.
31:07🔗
Caller
Okay. I'm calling because I've been sleeping with my boyfriend for six months, and I can't have an orgasm during intercourse. During anything.
31:33🔗
Drew
Most women at 18 do not have orgasm during a sexual relationship. Some can with oral sex. A majority of women do not have intercourse ever in their life during intercourse.
31:51🔗
Adam
Well, here's the deal. There's not, well, here's the thing about a woman. Women are constantly evolving.
32:02🔗
Adam
Yeah. That's right. You're being slowly wired as you get older. You're not, it's not near in place at 17, 18. No. It'll be in place at 27, 28.
32:14🔗
Drew
Here's the question that will let us know how far in she is in terms of her wiring. Does she have orgasm by herself?
32:35🔗
Adam
Just look at spontaneously erupt the laughter and then straighten out again and answer again. I know my friends would hit me with their shoe if I did that.
32:42🔗
Adam
Yeah. Guys don't do that because it makes the other person feel good. They'd be like, you douchebag, you're stupid. Shut up. Shut up. Queer bait.
33:00🔗
Adam
Okay. So why don't you get him to give you some oral sex? That's probably your best shot.
33:18🔗
Drew
Well, here's the deal. It's not going to happen during intercourse. You can give up that notion. That's not going to happen. Okay. And it may happen at some point in your life as you age, but most women, it doesn't happen.
34:33🔗
Adam
Yeah, so here's the thing. Whatever technique that you employ to have your master book, masterbatorial experience, maybe he can, you can incorporate him into that.
34:44🔗
Drew
Incorporate him, incorporate him into the whole thing. That's the end, it'll expand from there, okay?
34:49🔗
Caller
Okay, that sounds good. I have someone who wants to say hi to you though, because Adam, he thinks you're awesome. So hold on one second, okay? Just a quick.
35:18🔗
Adam
Hold on. We should do more laughing. We really should, Drew. Don't you hear those other radio shows, those morning zoos, like Big Boy and stuff? People are laughing their ass off. You just sit there with that puss on all the time.
35:44🔗
Adam
That's all the people have laughed at our show, and that's all of it over ten years. I think that's Tom Hanks. All right, Anderson. Jackie?
36:17🔗
Guest
Yeah, I've been married for almost three years now, and my husband and I had a good sexual relationship earlier in our marriage. And after I had my daughter, it's like he didn't really want to have sex with me anymore. And all he wants is oral sex. And if we do have sex, it's like he's like done in two minutes. And like he won't even try. He won't even give me an orgasm or anything.
36:51🔗
Adam
He likes oral, he finishes fast. Won't give oral to her. Here's so I know this will complete the trifecta. Does he do that?
37:07🔗
Adam
Where is he? Where are you out in Arizona? Southwest, they have a red eye? About 2 a.m. I'm coming out there.
37:17🔗
Adam
And I'll just do that to... We are one and we do that Indian handshake. And then we both go to separate parts of the house and beat off. Yeah, awesome. All right, so Jackie, this is what guys do often times. Not the passionate Drew, but guys that you have kids, the intimacy starts leaving the marriage.
37:37🔗
Adam
You know what though? I think it's, I think it's, I think guys by nature are lazy when it comes to the relationship. Not lazy when it comes to work or anything else, but they can get lazy and a woman has to sort of yank the chain a little and keep them in line. I know this sounds trite.
37:53🔗
Drew
No, no, that's absolutely true. Men have a bad instinct for relationships. And women need to have a great instinct for it and they need to kind of pop them guy once in a while.
38:00🔗
Adam
Let me say this. I think, I think women, I think men have the same instinct toward relationships that women have toward cars. Which is, the men are constantly saying, no, you can't just get in and drive every day. You have to check the tire pressure when you go in, check the oil, get it serviced. And the woman's feeling it's like, it works, it's fine. But it'll break down. It'll break down when you, ah, it works fine. That's right. Men do that with relationships. Like, I don't need to pack any picnic baskets or tell anyone I love them. We're in a groove, everything's working, everything's running fine. And the chick is going, you gotta talk, you gotta check the tires, we're gonna break down.
38:41🔗
Adam
It starts this morning, it's fine, it works out fine. And then they come home and the chick's moved out.
38:46🔗
Adam
And it's like, what happened? You threw a rod. You didn't listen, you didn't check the oil. But it was running. That was yesterday. And that's what happens. And I think women need to do that.
38:57🔗
Adam
And not with all guys. Once in a while, a post comes down the pike like Drew. He doesn't need any of that stuff. And there are handfuls of guys that way.
39:05🔗
Adam
You get it anyway. But I mean, there are a lot of guys that are, and I hate those guys. You know what these guys are? She's my best friend. And like, get the hell out of here. What are you guys even talking? You're supposed to be talking. What do you mean best friend? No, no. But you know, you know, you guys are young. Believe me, you'll hit your pace.
39:23🔗
Caller
Can I just make something? 22 is pretty early, right, to be having this layoff. I mean, he shouldn't be just...
39:32🔗
Drew
But yes, three years in a relationship is very sad. Some guys pull back really after a baby. That's when they freak out a little bit.
39:50🔗
Adam
There's that, too. There's that. And then there's also just saying to the guy, look, I need a little more of this and a little more of that. And 90% of guys will come around.
40:01🔗
Guest
Well, I have, but he's just like... Like, he just doesn't, you know, he'll be... I'll catch him in the laundry room with the door closed.
40:10🔗
Adam
Is he doing something to, like, the snuggle bear or something? Why the... What kind of... What kind of pathetic guy beats off in the laundry room?
40:19🔗
Adam
Hold on, how small is your house? And his choice is the dining room and the laundry room?
40:25🔗
Adam
No bathroom in the house? I can't have a quiet dignity of doing a thing where I bite my shirt? And look at myself in the mirror?
40:42🔗
Drew
So, Jackie, yeah, I'm a little concerned about this. I really am. Just a little bit off the chart.
40:48🔗
Drew
It's happened too quick and it's a little bit too clandestine and a little bit too much.
40:58🔗
Guest
Well, I mean, if I try, you know, if I try doing something to him, he's like, no, not right now. I'm tired.
41:03🔗
Drew
Well, you know that's BS. Stop that. Don't take that. Don't take BS as though it's true.
41:07🔗
Adam
Well, what do you mean, BS? How do you know it's BS? Well, Drew, you're a passionate man. You don't understand. You know what I mean?
41:26🔗
Adam
Not hover around it. So if you... He either has to go... Yeah, he's got to go to therapy with you and you guys got to work on it or he has to work on it. Or here's what you can do, too. The threat of therapy will straighten guys out sometimes, too. And it's for his own good.
41:44🔗
Guest
Well, I mean, I'm obviously not the same that I was before I had my baby, but I still look good.
42:07🔗
Adam
You got to motivate him and then scare him. But don't sleep with one of his friends or do anything stupid like that.
42:16🔗
Adam
Okay. That's how you got to wake guys up. What women do, it's the car breaking down, that's them sleeping with the friend.
42:27🔗
Adam
Yeah. Drew, what is that impulse for you to talk and cuddle? What is that? You don't have guy things. You don't like guys. You don't want to hang out with anybody.
42:38🔗
Adam
No, you don't. No, you don't. But you do. But you do. But no, you don't. You know what I'm saying?
42:45🔗
Adam
Here's the thing with Drew. The thing that's weird about Drew is Drew's social and he likes doing things and he likes conversation and he's active, but he has no guy thing in him. He doesn't go, he never goes anywhere with guys. And it's not because he couldn't.
43:08🔗
Drew
You know what it is? I have to pay attention to, I should do more of it. I should pay attention to make sure I do more of it.
43:26🔗
Adam
You make everything you turn into that, but you do tons of things that aren't work related. Oh, don't give me that. First off, you're traveling all over the place for nickels, please. You're away from your family all the time. That's work. Yeah, but the compensation isn't good enough.
43:45🔗
Adam
But you enjoy it. Here's what I'm saying. Can you free yourself up to do anything that doesn't fall in the heading of work? Because you like doing all the things like...
44:23🔗
Adam
John Cho here. Kal Penn here tonight from Harold and Kumar. Go to White Castle. Out on DVD. We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back.
45:30🔗
Guest
I really enjoyed you guys and Harold and Kumar. Just wondering if you guys will be starring in another movie together.
45:40🔗
Guest
That'll hopefully happen. Depending on the box office results for, I don't know if you can even call box office, the receipts from the DVD. So if you enjoyed it, please go buy it. Tell your friends to buy it.
46:30🔗
Adam
See, that's not bad. It just took an extra couple of minutes to pound it out. That's all. What's going on?
46:56🔗
Drew
No, but I'm going to loosen it up so these guys feel more comfortable doing it. That I am sick and tired of not being able to have a reasonable discussion about this drug because every time somebody brings up, people go, well, cigarettes and alcohol are illegal. You're right. Our laws as it pertains to substances are irrational. Irrational. I'm in favor of looking at the whole thing, rescinding the Harrison Narcotic Act of 1912-11 and making a rational set of laws based on how people actually relate to substances.
47:29🔗
Guest
Two things come to mind when you ask me that question. Number one is how teachers in high school always used to tell us that if you smoke a joint, you're going to be homeless the next day. That was pretty much the correlation. Then suddenly all the kids in our honors classes who were smoking weed are going to Yale. Somebody's lying somewhere along the line.
47:46🔗
Drew
They're exaggerating. The fact is marijuana is one of the most common drugs of addiction we treat in inpatient setting right now. It is a profoundly addictive drug for some people.
47:57🔗
Drew
There's only one kind of addiction. You can either stop or you can't stop. When you can't stop, it's because of a profound biological event. They have something very similar to heroin addiction in terms of what it's doing to their brain. But most people...
48:19🔗
Drew
No, no, no, no. I don't want to get into this, but the fact is some people have a rapid deceleration to a depression with that. They switch over to amphetamine and then we get them. All right. But the fact is, though, that for most people alcohol and pot is about the same thing. Except there's some stuff, evidence under A-16, that it can delay growth things, but it's about the same.
48:41🔗
Guest
Except that according to those commercials, your money goes to the terrorists if you buy weed.
48:45🔗
Adam
Yeah. Well, here's the problem with this country is we've somehow convinced everyone in it that drugs are drugs and that there's no difference between speed and marijuana and any, or cocaine and marijuana or alcohol and marijuana. Anybody who knows anything about anything knows like if you're hanging out with somebody, you want them high on weed, not high on speed. High on speed, you're liable to get in a fight, they're liable to stab you, they're going to run off the road, they're going to do whatever. It's a different drug. It's different. And it's different on different people. But in general, if someone said, look, do you want a whole bunch of people out there high on speed or a whole bunch of people out there high on weed? I mean, weed, it'd be a slowed down utopia we'd be living in. And speed, everyone just be, you know, parents would be stabbing their kids.
49:32🔗
Caller
I just don't see also how it does anybody any good for a person who smokes a joint to be in jail.
49:37🔗
Drew
Yeah. Well, that's, I think that to me, that's the core issue in all of our laws that pertain to substance use. It's not a realistic reflection of what, how humans relate to substances and how they should be managed if they have a problem related to substances.
49:51🔗
Adam
Yeah. And the idea with these, you know, mandatory minimums that some of these guys are in there for 12, 15 years for selling some tabs at a Grateful Dead concert, where they pose no physical threat to society is ridiculous. And I would also argue that this sort of, if you have more than, you know, basically an ounce of weed, somehow there's the presumption that you wanted to distribute it. Don't they have to prove that? It doesn't, you know, they find a bunch of guns and a ski mask in your car, they can't arrest you for robbing a bank unless you're robbing a bank. They catch you with a pound of weed, I don't care what time it is, they catch you with a pound of weed. What, you were going to sell it? Well, don't you have to catch me selling it? I might just like to stock up on weed. I agree. I shop at Smart and Final. Go check. I got a thing of garbanzo beans, a 55-gallon drum, and you think I'm selling them? Don't you got to prove that? I'm outraged. We're going to talk more about this. Harold and Kumar go to White Castle, out on DVD. Go get some spleef. Go out and get that, and we'll be right back after this.
51:02🔗
Caller
All right, guys. You're looking to hook up, sick of wasting time with the wrong person?
51:39🔗
Adam
Hey, everybody. Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. John Cho, Kal Penn here tonight from Harold in Kumar. Go to White Castle out on DVD as we speak. And we're just talking about drugs and legalizing drugs and legalizing marijuana and so on and so forth. Here's my thing on those, you know, commercials that's like, listen, you buy pot and you fund the terrorist. You make pot legal, we don't fund the terrorist, you jackasses. You let me have a pot plant in my backyard without threat of getting my house taken away. We don't fund the terrorist anymore. You are creating a black market for something obviously people want and people refuse to stop using because they don't have a problem with it. People like marijuana, they seem to be able to be successful and deal with marijuana. A lot of people do. Either way, that's their prerogative. You don't have to tell them to floss. You don't have to tell them what to eat or when to exercise. If they want to smoke weed, that's their business. So you're creating the black market which is funding the terrorists.
52:46🔗
Guest
It's also there are so many people that are incarcerated from marijuana related quote unquote crimes and they disproportionately affect urban communities and there's less money for social welfare programs and there's more people being locked up and like John and I were just talking about prisons being privatized. So there's a lot of money being made off of people being put in jail for crimes related to marijuana.
53:07🔗
Caller
To bring it back to our movie, I'll say, in Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle. Yes. There's two extremely funny scenes.
53:15🔗
Caller
Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle. Good culture. There's a, my two favorite scenes. There's a spoof marijuana, anti-drug commercial that's hilarious. There's also a scene where a montage of Cal romancing a bag of weed and marrying it.
53:39🔗
Adam
I really, I swear one day soon, I almost have enough FU money, by the way, for the government.
53:47🔗
Adam
I'm literally a millionaire. Literally a millionaire. I have some FU money for Hollywood.
54:08🔗
Adam
But here's what I like to do when I get enough FU money, a few more years. I would like to just grow a pot plant in my yard in front of God and everyone and just do it.
54:20🔗
Adam
Do you want to take my house? First off, first, you can't prove I'm doing anything with this pot plant. I'm not selling it. I'm consuming it. It's my plant. It's my property. I'm doing it. Just like if I want to make my own beer in the, in the basement. That's my business. And I really think you could win.
54:39🔗
Adam
And I can't stand the fact that these righty hypocrites, all these gun-toting pussies, don't stand up for people who want to do this. Because their whole thing is like, it's never about guns. It's just about, it's about government. No, government. I'm not going to have some jackbooted thug come on to my property and tell me how to conduct my life. That's their whole thing. And then when a guy grows a pot plant, he's like, take that hippie, throw him in the hole and throw away the key. It's like, what? This is his gun. That pot plant? That bong? That's his rifle. That's my weapon of choice, that bong, Drew. I'll give you the el cabong. Take your head off with that thing. The point is, is you're both talking about the same thing. That's why the right guy, that's why the right's a hypocrite, because they never stop talking about intrusion of government.
55:32🔗
Adam
And the left are idiots too, as well. But I really do think you could grow a big pot plant.
55:38🔗
Adam
We hate both sides. But I think you could grow a pot plant, get enough money, get enough attorney. Get that attorney with the ponytail and the beard I always see on TV, and get him to protect you.
56:07🔗
Adam
Let's get back to consensual victimless crimes. Prostitution is something we could go ahead and not work so hard on either.
56:17🔗
Guest
I have a really good question. I've been with my share of guys. I've never had orgasmed with any of them during sexual intercourse, which is-
56:30🔗
Drew
Well, you heard us talking earlier to a girl that that's normal. Very, very few women have orgasm during intercourse, especially at your age.
56:37🔗
Guest
Okay. That's what I thought. I thought it was like a maturity thing, like I'm not supposed to, but-
56:41🔗
Drew
It's not even a maturity. Some of it is that, but ultimately most women don't have an orgasm during intercourse.
56:47🔗
Guest
Okay. Well, that kind of explains it, but listen to this. This is what's going to freak you out. Okay.
56:57🔗
Guest
I just got this new job and my manager, I just found out she's a lesbian and we have been flirting like crazy.
57:06🔗
Guest
It's a fun to me. I think it's totally fun. I have a great time doing it, but I'm like, I feel like attracted to her in a way and I'm having weird dreams about girls.
57:29🔗
Adam
You're training to prepare you for this? You're never prepared. There's nothing in a textbook that prepares you for an 18-year-old chick talking to a chick she works with. Is there, Drew? You didn't know this existed, did you? But Drew, you've been doing this show for what? Close to 20 years now and you thought you'd heard everything until now. Oh, yes. Until now.
57:58🔗
Adam
Don't even talk! I can't wrap my mind around this thing. Okay, hold on. I got to breathe a new bag or something. Drew, let's get the bag around. I'm hyperventilating. I'm having a panic attack.
58:33🔗
I actually just asked her this the other day.
58:34🔗
Guest
I asked her what they do. I was like, oh, so what do you guys do when you're with each other, you know?
59:00🔗
Guest
But I asked her, I was like, so, you know, what is it like and everything? She said it's really fun. She said, you'll never know. You'll you'll never want to go back to a guy once you've been with a girl.
59:20🔗
Never.
59:22🔗
Drew
Now, listen, Ashley, naturally enough, this is sort of a fun and playful and even highly arousing interaction.
59:39🔗
Drew
It doesn't necessarily mean anything. It may mean something. Maybe it's the beginning of something for you.
1:00:01🔗
Guest
Why not? The only issue is that it's your boss. So I don't know how that's going to work out.
1:00:31🔗
Adam
She's a soloist cashier. Dipping at your heels. You got everyone looking to knock you know, when you're on top in the cashier world, everyone wants to take you down.
1:00:43🔗
Adam
Yeah. Maybe it was that place where that snotty nose six-year-old chick came up to me and went, I used to be a big an**hole in real life as you are on TV.
1:00:59🔗
Adam
It was awesome. It was like Pops Corolla. I swear, Drew, please, tell me one more. I just want to say one word to her.
1:01:18🔗
Adam
Beat it is awesome. It's really it's like one of your dad's friends coming down on it.
1:01:45🔗
Adam
I don't know. I wish someone could explain to me what that was, Drew. Calling all nerds. Do we have to talk again? Amscray. Jennifer? Yeah. Jennifer, you're 15? Jennifer?
1:02:21🔗
Drew
It must have been that four minutes you guys did by yourself. You didn't even brought them in.
1:02:41🔗
Adam
Janet, oh, by the way, is Cal, is that true? Yes, hello, gentlemen. Hold on. Hold on a second. Is Cal short for something kooky that I can make fun of?
1:02:59🔗
What's going on?
1:03:22🔗
Guest
No, it's it's called a bindi. It's a symbolic third eye. So who gets them? Traditionally, women after marriage will get them. But it's also it's also part of religious ceremony, I think, in Buddhism also.
1:03:41🔗
Guest
I mean, wait. Also, I'm not like the spokesperson for the billion people that live in India. So there may be different variations of it. The endosomes are pretty liberal.
1:03:53🔗
Adam
And for that super hot chick I saw in 60 Minutes Two is the hottest chick in the world.
1:03:58🔗
Adam
No, but it's it's it's it's one of those things where we feel good as Americans. We're picking if we can't if we pick the blonde with huge cans, everyone would feel bad.
1:04:07🔗
Adam
And it's like Julia Roberts proclaimed her that well, who died and left her queen of the good looking, you know, like good looking people somehow? Yeah. Oh, listen, you can't answer this hook nose fat ass. I'll answer it. I'm good looking.
1:04:22🔗
Adam
I say ugly people have a better idea of who's good looking. We're hungrier. You know what I mean? We appreciate it more. You saw from staring in the mirror. Yeah, but yeah, she was the most beautiful. Yeah, she's nice. She looks good. She doesn't have any zits. You know, there's nothing nothing wrong with her, but is proclaimed as the most beautiful woman in the world. But when you see him, it's always a little, well, let down. Nothing wrong. Now, it has nothing to do with being of being in dissent. Here's why I hate everyone who calls the show. This came up about three or four days ago. I said, geez, I thought that had to do with marriage. And then of course, a bunch of a-holes calls shows, like, no, it's a caste system. And now we hear that has to do with marriage. Thank you.
1:05:10🔗
Caller
Well, I've called you folks before. I have terminal breast cancer and am three years clean from a heroin addiction. And the question, the medical question I have for Dr. Drew is, what would he suggest for pain control? Because I really don't want to get back on that wagon again. And also, two-parter, I have two open sores on my breast that were weeping with a staph infection. The doctor tells me now that the staph infection is gone, but the wounds are still weeping. So, what's going on there?
1:05:45🔗
Caller
Well, they don't really know. They said that the breast cancer is… there's two different kinds of breast… well, you know that.
1:05:56🔗
Caller
Well, it's actually… it was just internal and went to my lymph nodes and that's why they… and then it became skin cancer as well and that's probably what they say the lesions are, but the staph infection developed after they did the biopsy, the second biopsy.
1:06:22🔗
Drew
Yeah. Are you getting… I mean, you need wound care. There's all kinds of interventions that need to be initiated if you've got a non-healing ulcer. How long has it been there?
1:06:38🔗
Caller
What's that? Well, I've been to see my primary health care practitioner like four times since the wounds developed, and she just keeps giving me Cephalox and sending me home.
1:06:49🔗
Adam
This ain't work for a chick. You've got to get a dude in here and from another country too.
1:06:52🔗
Drew
That's why it's called a first-generation Cephalosporin that's good for the staph infection.
1:06:56🔗
Drew
But you need to actually go to a wound center. You may need grafting. Who knows what you need there? That definitely… You've got to ask for a referral to a wound center, okay? And that's one.
1:07:05🔗
Adam
You said terminal. Sorry for cutting you off. When you say terminal, do they give you a period to live?
1:07:12🔗
Caller
Yeah, they said 18 months, but they were really… They said they couldn't do the surgery because the tumors were too massive inside my breast, so they wanted to attack it with chemo and radiation. But the percentage that… I mean, the statistics they gave me were not very good at all, and I know more people that have died from the actual chemotherapy. So I started going to a natural path, and the tumors have actually been reduced by, like, 27% since…
1:07:44🔗
Drew
Wait, wait, Jeanette, something is wrong here. Breast cancer is predominantly curable.
1:07:55🔗
Drew
Jeanette, you got to get yourself back. The chemo is actually kind of mild for this, too. They shrink the tumor, take the breast, reconstruct if you want, cure. You can expect a cure, but you let it…
1:08:23🔗
Adam
And what are you doing with the naturalists? Just getting coffee enemas and rubbing a chia pet?
1:08:30🔗
Caller
No, there's a lot. There's like 16 different types of drops that I'm taking and there's three different machines. There's a machine called a RICE machine and that's an anagram, R-I-F-E. I don't know what it stands for, but it cured my mom's breast cancer. And so I've been using that machine.
1:08:51🔗
Adam
Hold on a second. We got to talk to, we got to have a pow-wow. Drew doesn't go for this crap.
1:08:56🔗
Drew
I'll go for it works, but it doesn't work. The fact is, we can cure this one. This is a curable cancer.
1:09:09🔗
Adam
But what if they say, look, we can cure this or there's a high percentage chance we can take care of this. You go see Dr. Dim Sum with the four foot beard down in Chinatown. This ain't going to work.
1:09:32🔗
Adam
Chinat. Yes. There's like 200 years of education in this room and one semester at LA Valley College.
1:09:48🔗
Caller
Well, what you guys are saying is actually giving me the first, honestly, the first sense of hope that I've had because I, it's not like I just went and saw one doctor and oh, I give up. I saw an oncologist. I saw a radiologist. I saw a surgeon.
1:10:02🔗
Drew
Yeah, but, Janette, they told you to take the chemo and the radiation, get the surgeries and you have like a 60% cure rate.
1:10:09🔗
Caller
No, they didn't say that. They said that at 30% in, it would come back within three years. There's a good chance it would come back within three years.
1:10:21🔗
Caller
No, 30% cure and they said there was like a 70-some percent chance that it would come back within three years.
1:10:28🔗
Caller
And they wanted to do a thing where they take out my lymph nodes and then they were telling me the risks involved with that.
1:10:33🔗
Drew
Janette, Janette, that is absolutely standard routine. Those are done, that procedure is done in every hospital in America, hand over fist. No one ever has any big problem with that. Sometimes you get fistulas and things, but that is a standard procedure.
1:10:47🔗
Adam
Janette, here is the thing, you have to start seeing the man. All this homeopathic crap is great when you are not really sick, but when you actually get something, screw that.
1:11:02🔗
Drew
Oh, she saw it. Good. Kenny or somebody gets kidney failure and then they are like, we are not doctors, what are you thinking? And the kids are like, what? You let us to believe you could do something.
1:11:11🔗
Adam
Well, if that's all this crap, all this, oh, well, I had a coffee enema and I don't eat meat. So it's all great when you're not really sick, when you're just, you know, 26 and you're living up in your head and you're full of your own, you think your ass doesn't smell. And then something happens like your pen experts or something. Now it's time to go see the man. You got to see the man. And let me say this, let me explain something to AIDS under control, homeopathic or the man, the man. All you guys do, all, all you pussies do is complain about the man and the drug companies and all that. Who do you think got AIDS under control? Huh?
1:11:50🔗
Adam
You protested. The ones who are making the quilt or the man or the man? The man did it. You understand? So start kissing the man's ass because he cured your buddies. You pussies. Please.
1:12:13🔗
Drew
When I was in training, people would come with their first episode of Pussies. Pussies. of Pneumocystis and we would say, you have six months to live, period.
1:12:27🔗
Adam
Some guy out of a VW van wearing Birkenstocks who didn't want to harm the earth or the man. Yeah. Who made AZT, Drew? Who made those triple cocktails? Who did all that stuff? The man. The man.
1:12:42🔗
Adam
Kiss the man's ass or do me a favor. Don't use it. Uh-huh. Now you got something real?
1:12:51🔗
Adam
Go to Canada over there and don't use anything. Live off the start eating raw food. Eat raw food. That's going to cure your AIDS.
1:12:58🔗
Adam
Go eat it. Or or or shut up. Pussies. Tired of these guys. And as soon as they get, now it's right back to beating up on the man again. It's how the man works. Man don't care about AIDS. He don't care about you. He don't care gay or straight. Man wants money. That's it. He goes out and here's the thing. He spends a bunch of money on R&D, burn a few lab rats. You do this, you rape a little rainforest and now you got to get compensated. That's how the man works. It's a business. He doesn't know you. He doesn't know your friends. He doesn't care if you got it because you're hemophiliac or because you're manning a glory hole. He doesn't care. He wants his money.
1:13:43🔗
Adam
And let me say this too, let me say this too, lefty puss. Pay the man because you don't want him to shut his lab down because the next time one of these comes around, the man needs to have his lab because your pussy buddies ain't going to cure anything. That's the point. Give him, give the man his money, he can buy a new lab, get a couple of Bunsen burners, and next thing you know we're in good shape when the next version of Aids comes around. Oh, and it's coming. God, God has a plan. That's right. That's alright. We're righteous. We will survive. And I'm talking about just the four people in this room. Sorry, Michelle. And it's up to us to repopulate. Wait a minute.
1:14:28🔗
Adam
That's right. Change of plans. And we're going by height. Alright. Harold and Kumar go to White Castle, everybody. Yeah. The man doesn't want you to see it, but you're going to see it anyway. Out on DVD. We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back after this.
1:15:03🔗
Adam
Yeah, everybody, it's Loveline, Adam, that's Dr. Drew, John Cho and Kal Penn here tonight from Harold and Kumar White Castle. You can't articulate yourself any better than that. Anderson's favorite draft. That's the outgoing message on his machine. You never call him at home. That's what you hear. All right, let's speak to Quee works out two times a day and now has so much sex. Quee?
1:15:36🔗
Yeah. Hey, Adam?
1:15:39🔗
Caller
Yeah, I had a question. I've been working out and I noticed that when I started to work out more than once a day, my sex drive kind of went up.
1:16:04🔗
Caller
Yeah. I always used to work out and then somebody suggested that I should work out my legs to boost testosterone, I guess, in the body for muscle.
1:16:17🔗
Drew
Any time you're using, pushing heavy weights with large muscle groups, it can raise your testosterone levels a bit.
1:16:23🔗
Adam
Yeah. And look, don't take this the wrong way, but Koreans, you don't need to work those legs. You've got tree trunks already, this big calves, I mean, huge.
1:16:38🔗
Adam
Well, once in a while, they break the mold, but normally strong, powerful, huge stocky legs with powerful calves. So they're like mini Samoans.
1:16:52🔗
Adam
Oh, that's great with a dog that was hairless. Yes. Then we could bring them in. Off the furniture.
1:17:04🔗
Drew
But he does bring up an interesting point here, Cui, is that if people go from not working out to working out, they can't enhance their libido.
1:17:23🔗
Adam
I wasn't listening. Okay, well, I was going to want to... Good, but it was going to get uncomfortable because I wonder what was up with those terrorists now, with the Dodget Bullhead. Here's the point. Powerful-legged people. Yes. No doubt about that. It's not a put down either. It's just they have strong, you know, certain groups got strong legs and the Koreans don't need to work the legs. Focus on the upper body, no?
1:17:47🔗
Adam
No, you know what? They got nice arms, too. Think about it. That's it. Pecs. Pecs are good Korean muscles.
1:17:56🔗
Adam
Thank God I got the laser pointer on my keychain. Now down here, Drew, is there anything we can do about this? What do they do? Snip the ligament, put a weight on it? What do they do, Drew?
1:18:30🔗
Adam
Well, what I'm saying is like it used to be like there'd be the food pyramid and have like cupcakes on it and stuff. But again, things on it that you wanted to eat and then it's like you should do 20 minutes of moderate exercise three times a week. Now they're up to an hour every day and the cupcakes have been replaced with tofu wieners on the pyramid. We're screwed now. By the way, did we just figure this out? We figured it out six months ago? What's going on? Is it because everyone is becoming obese?
1:19:04🔗
Drew
Well, there's a worry about that and that's of course been overstated like everything else. But the fact is the press is so focused on trying to find medical headlines and there's no such thing as a medical headline. There's no such thing.
1:19:20🔗
Drew
No. A headline is something that scientists go over, clinicians go back in the lab and try to reproduce multiple times and after many many years, if it turns out to be truth, then it becomes accepted practice. But it takes forever for that kind of thing to happen. It's not because of one study shows something striking, never.
1:19:35🔗
Adam
Well, how about we do, but you should, but they say now you need to work out an hour a day, which seems like a lot for most people.
1:19:42🔗
Caller
But the cupcake pyramid was when America weighed a reasonable weight, right? Yeah. We're crazy fat now, right?
1:19:49🔗
Drew
The cupcake was when we also expected to live a normal lifespan and didn't expect to live forever.
1:19:59🔗
Adam
What about this? I say we need to adjust that body mass index. I think we need to move that because I was well, I was watching a show. Well, you know who I'd like to use? Well, someone who's built like Oprah, Jerome Bettis, the boss. Oh, yeah, perfect. Running back for the Pittsburgh Steelers. Guy goes, now here's my argument. Here's a guy, Jerome Bettis. Thanks Anderson, big Pittsburgh fan. Jerome Bettis, 5'10, maybe 5'11, 262, 263, runs a 4'6, 40. You know what I'm saying? And can dunk a football in full pads in the middle of a snow day on a 10-foot goal post. Now, his body mass index, you go look at the thing, guy 5'10 1⁄2, he's morbidly obese.
1:20:46🔗
Adam
I'm telling you, I was watching a show the other day on like 2020 and they did that body mass thing and the guy was like 5'11, and the poor guy with like 330 pounds and he was 5'11, and he was like, you should weigh between 153 and 161. And I thought, I work with a whole bunch of guys who are in their mid-30s, they're not fat, they're 5'10, they're 5'11, and they're 185 pounds, and they're not fat.
1:21:12🔗
Adam
You, I mean, you, you're heavy, I'm heavy, everyone's heavy for their body mass, whatever. I don't know, except for actually John and Kal, who actually make their body mass index, 5'10, guys, especially 4-year-old guys, 5'10, weight 190.
1:21:29🔗
Drew
Big probabilities, you know, average scales and things like that, that don't take into account.
1:21:35🔗
Adam
We need to jack this thing up. I'm just saying, adult male, 40, 35, 40 years old, 5'10, should be, you know, 180, 185. Not 152. Drew, are you getting angry? Getting angry at the man? I'm not sure if this is the man or not, but let's pump that BMI up a little bit, and then I'm going to start working on the pyramid, see if I can get the cupcakes back on there.
1:21:59🔗
Drew
We've got a lot to do, we've got a lot to do. Why do I get painted with the brush of people, somebody trying to tell everyone how to live their life? And the fact is, it's people like what you're talking about, they're trying to manipulate people.
1:22:13🔗
Adam
Oh, the pyramid people. Yeah, that insurance place? Is that what you're talking about? The good people of the pyramid. They got that headquarters down in San Francisco.
1:22:25🔗
Yeah.
1:22:34🔗
Caller
Well, my boyfriend is always pressuring me into having, well, I don't usually do it, but anal sex.
1:22:55🔗
Drew
Guys like to hurt girls. I really believe that. I think they want to hurt somebody with their penis. I think that's the impulse.
1:23:10🔗
Adam
Oh, yeah. Or I could actually pile drive it up their urethra, ironically. Oh. Yeah, that would hurt them.
1:23:20🔗
Caller
Well, I mean, I mean, he'll, like, put a finger in sometimes while we're having intercourse. And it was so OK. But, like, man, once he tries putting his shlong in me, it really, really hurts.
1:23:38🔗
Adam
I'm going to go way out on a limb here. Calling from Sunland, California. It's beautiful. From Sunland. From Sunland.
1:23:50🔗
Caller
Um, I have, well, there's some Jewish in my family, yes. But I'm half Italian. Half Jewish.
1:24:02🔗
Adam
All right. The anal is the Italian part. I'm only... The Jewish part where your dad is listening is killing himself.
1:24:31🔗
Drew
All right, Jessica, you mentioned how much this hurts you. Why do you do it if it's so painful for you?
1:24:37🔗
Drew
I know, but listen, the keys, listen, here's the deal. He is happy if you just are there and show some enthusiasm. It doesn't get better than anything else. He's just sort of, he's just sort of fishing.
1:24:48🔗
Adam
By the way, were you abused or something? You have the little girl voice that worries us.
1:24:56🔗
Adam
No. Ever since you got molested by your uncle? Unless you're calling from Sunland, you had to have been abused.
1:25:02🔗
Caller
They don't let you in. I was actually from Long Beach. I moved down to Sunland with my family and we actually live up in the National Forest. So we're not in Sunland.
1:25:13🔗
Drew
From one of those cabins up there, the forest department. What do you mean up in the forest?
1:25:30🔗
Drew
If you go up hiking these trails, you'll see these cabins up there in the trails in the San Gabriel Mountains.
1:25:41🔗
Guest
Hey, Drew, weren't you saying last time that if you have too much anal sex, you can get a prolapsed anus?
1:25:51🔗
Drew
It happens commonly. Women have lots of children. Prolapsed anus happens commonly if you live long enough to men and women, but especially women. And if you're abusing that area, you're of course more likely to have that kind of thing. And a prolapsed anus is just a delightful thing. It really is a good thing. Don't do it if it hurts. I mean, come on.
1:26:18🔗
Adam
And you know, it makes me want to bring up this, my numbering system. I'm not going to get into it, but you guys will dig this idea. I think it's unfair for cities to call themselves like Hawaiian gardens or Sunland. Sunland, Sun Valley. And there's a lot of views and vistas and stuff, but these places are dumps, all right? And people come to this.
1:26:41🔗
Adam
Lakeview Terrace, dumps, Sunland, dumps, Sun Valley, dumps, Hawaiian gardens, dumps. These places are dumps, okay? Now, here's the point. You don't know when you're relocating from Cleveland, you hear some guy go, hey, you want to move to Sunland? Sunland sounds great. I picture myself like a ski chalet. Snow bunnies and a hot tub. This could be excellent. And it's a dump. And there's no motivation for the crappy cities. You think it's a coincidence that the crappy cities have the nice names? They got soft. They didn't have to work anymore because, hey, our name is Sunland.
1:27:17🔗
Adam
Yeah. When I'm in charge, your name ain't going to be Sunland. It's going to be 574. You want to work your way up, get to the 400s, pick up the garbage and get rid of some of that graffiti. Yeah. That's what it is. And everyone just gets a number signed to them and you don't like your number? Work a little harder. Clean up that graffiti. Get the school system working a little better. Before you know it, you've cracked the 200s.
1:27:43🔗
Adam
That would be great. And by the way, you would know too, like if you're coming in from parts of the public service or you're buying a house and then everyone pulls together. It's like, OK, listen, we are number 28. We're going to crack the top 20 this year, everybody. Let's join in. Let's clean up this town. Let's close down this crack house. Let's get behind it. Let's call our councilman. You know what I'm saying?
1:28:09🔗
Adam
Instead of, oh, well, we're Sun Valley. We don't have to do anything. Am I right? The motivation. And believe me, I haven't really done the math. But if there's 600 cities around here, Sun Valley is somewhere in the low fives, low to high, you know, five fifty, five seventy five. Yeah. Yeah. You know, you're lucky, by the way, Sun, Sunlin, you're lucky you're next to Sun Valley. It's like like an ugly chick. But oh, big fat chick came in and all of a sudden she's looking pretty good. That's what that's what it is. You're lucky. You're lucky. Encino doesn't move their ass over there.
1:28:52🔗
Adam
Harold and Kumar go to White Castle. Everybody out on DVD as we speak. Go get it. There's stuff in there you won't see and haven't seen and can't see unless you get on the DVD. We'll be right back after this. There, buddy. Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew out here in beautiful Culver City, 369, 370 on my number.
1:29:46🔗
Adam
I'm serious. Give everyone a number. Get them going. Put a fire under them. It works in college football. Why wouldn't it work in city, Drew?
1:29:54🔗
Adam
All right. Harold and Kumar go to White Castle, everybody. Out on DVD. Go get it. You want to see another one? Go get it. That's what I'm saying. Don't blame the man. All right. Let's talk to Theo, who's 27. Is Theo our guy?
1:30:24🔗
Caller
Things are sick and twisted from too much sun and Nazis, sex, meth and death fetishes. Both of them have got these. Guaranteed not to bore you, Germany or Florida.
1:30:36🔗
Drew
Theo does. He's got a special style where he starts cracking his own ass up at the end of a song.
1:30:48🔗
Caller
Alright, Willie. Fourteen, nine, immediately, two. Whatcha, whatcha, whatcha, whatcha, whatcha gonna do? Mexican musicians breaking it down on each of the accordion countdown.
1:31:00🔗
Drew
For these guys, we got to play that. That was excellent. Alright, so Theo, what do you got for us?
1:31:04🔗
Caller
We got a Chief Thunder Bear since I couldn't be there tonight because God blessed us with snow over here.
1:31:11🔗
Caller
That was the plan. I was going to be there for tonight. But Baltimore got snow and that's where my layover was and Southwest can't do anything, so I wouldn't have arrived till tonight had I taken another flight.
1:31:49🔗
Caller
Alright. Here we go. Riding on the back of a buffalo, he came from the desert where the corn won't grow. He works on girls, not on boys. He has a speculum of turquoise. He's Chief Thunder Bear, OBGYN.
1:32:12🔗
Adam
It had... Now we're on an 8 second delay. Thunder Bear's out playing Tetris in the John Clowns. Well, he should hear that.
1:32:29🔗
Drew
Okay, we're going to go get him. Hold on a second. Chief Thunder Bear is somebody that visits us. He's a colleague. He's a gynecologist, but he's a Native American Indian. He only speaks Choctaw. And so Adam's going to go get him right now. And he usually helps out with difficult gynecological problems. Here he comes. Here he comes, in fact. Be careful. Do not cross this guy. Okay. Be careful. Hi, Chief, Chief. Evening.
1:33:08🔗
Drew
Okay, Chief. Yes, Theo. You didn't hear it, I know, but Theo has created a wonderful little song that we can use as an introduction to you. We'll get some coffee for you.
1:33:41🔗
Caller
All right, here we go. Riding on the back of a buffalo. He came from the desert where the corn won't grow. He works on girls, not on boys. He has a speculum of turquoise. Okay.
1:33:59🔗
Drew
He's communing with his guys about this song. So far, they seem to approve. They approve. Theo, he seems to like it. You know, when he gets offended, you have to be very careful. He will really react.
1:35:13🔗
Drew
See, the chief has a thing about peanuts. He loves peanuts. Yeah. He won't fly something. No, they won't serve peanuts.
1:35:44🔗
Adam
No, Chris. No, I can't. Yeah, he's going to be back. Hey, lesbian. Hey, ladies with women.
1:35:57🔗
Drew
She you know, she may need your service or something. So, yeah, I speculate. It's a nice touch.
1:36:55🔗
Drew
He was surprisingly in good spirits and he seemed to take the song from Theo very nicely and enjoyed it and yelled at Michelle a bit.
1:37:02🔗
Drew
Because she didn't get the coffee but then she was confused that Chris wasn't here and so on.
1:37:13🔗
Caller
Here's the deal. You're looking to hook up, sick of wasting time with the wrong person?
1:37:55🔗
Adam
Smart guys, always a pleasure. I want to thank engineer Anderson for doing a great job, engineer Chris, engineer Michelle. Who's on the phones tonight, Brian? All week. God love you, Brian. And I want to thank producer Anne and junior, junior, junior, junior, junior, producer Lauren. And until next time, it's Adam Carolla for Dr. Drew saying mahalo.
1:38:16🔗
Caller
Riding on the back of a buffalo, he came from the desert where the corn won't grow. He works on girls, not on boys. He has a speculum of turquoise. He's Keith Thunderbear, OBGYN.
1:38:34🔗
Adam
The opinions expressed in this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or the station.
1:38:42🔗
Guest
The producer for Loveline is Annie Gold. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.