Tuesday, December 28, 2004

0:57🔗 Voiceover Loveline is meant for an adult audience.

1:02🔗 Voiceover Loveline may contain sexually-oriented content. Listener discretion is advised. This is Loveline.

1:18🔗 Voiceover With Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew.

1:21🔗 Adam Hey, yo, it's Loveline. Nay, the best of Loveline. I'm Adam Carolla, my buddies call me Ace. That's Dr. Drew. Hey, Ace. He doesn't have friends.

1:30🔗 I have you.

1:32🔗 Well, I wouldn't call that a friend either.

1:33🔗 Adam I'd call more like an associate. Let's keep it professional.

1:35🔗 Drew But Ace, Ace, best of the best.

1:37🔗 Adam Best of the best of Loveline. That's right. Don't believe me? Destiny's Child on tonight.

1:42🔗 Drew With Beyonce.

1:43🔗 Adam Beyonce in here before she was Beyonce. Peter Gallagher and Adam Brody from the OC, george Lopez, Tommy Lee, Tommy Lee, and of course Ozzy in here tonight.

1:53🔗 Drew All right.

1:53🔗 Adam Let's get the party started with my Nubian Queens, Destiny's Child. It's the Loveline of Adam Carolla. He is Dr. Drew over there. Phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. Beyoncé, Kelly Farrin, Michelle are all here from Destiny's Child. And when we left off, we were talking about talking to Katie, who's 12. Katie?

2:22🔗 Yeah?

2:23🔗 Adam Uh-oh. You're 12? You've already had sex with four boys?

2:26🔗 Caller Um, yeah.

2:28🔗 Adam Drew, you were 16 before you had sex with four boys, weren't you? And what's up with you? Why are you doing this?

2:35🔗 Caller Um, I don't know.

2:37🔗 Like, I don't know.

2:39🔗 Caller They're my sister's friends. They come over a lot and I don't know. I guess they pressured me into it.

2:46🔗 Adam Hey, Katie?

2:47🔗 Caller Yeah?

2:47🔗 Adam Can you turn your radio down, please? There you go. I cut her break because she's 12 and obviously confused.

2:55🔗 Drew How is it that these people knew they could victimize you like that?

2:59🔗 Adam No, Drew, you're not going to get an answer to that. Where's your dad?

3:02🔗 Caller Um, he's here.

3:04🔗 Adam He is?

3:05🔗 Caller Yeah.

3:06🔗 Adam What kind of guy is he?

3:07🔗 Caller Um, he's an alcoholic.

3:09🔗 Adam There we go.

3:10🔗 Drew Did he physically abuse you?

3:12🔗 Caller Um, no, not me, but my sister, he did.

3:15🔗 Drew He beat her up?

3:16🔗 Caller Yeah.

3:17🔗 Drew Never is he?

3:18🔗 Caller He physically and sexually abused her.

3:20🔗 Drew Okay. Did you witness some of that?

3:22🔗 Caller Yeah.

3:24🔗 Adam Why did he leave you alone?

3:26🔗 Um, I don't know.

3:29🔗 Drew He did enough damage, he felt he'd done enough and leave her out there for the other 19 year olds.

3:33🔗 Adam Well, he's probably going to every other kid. There's probably a younger sister he's waiting on. How many kids does this a-hole have, by the way?

3:42🔗 Caller Just me and my sister.

3:45🔗 Adam And how old is your sister?

3:47🔗 She's 16.

3:49🔗 Adam And I'm sure the guys your sister, because she was a victim of your father, are not the most upstanding citizens around, right? Probably bringing some real idiots home. I mean, the kind of guys who think it'd be okay to have sex with a 12-year-old, right?

4:07🔗 Caller Right.

4:08🔗 Adam How old are these guys?

4:10🔗 Caller One, two were 15 and two were 16.

4:13🔗 Adam That's nice. And can you stop doing it, first off?

4:18🔗 Caller Yeah, but I just, I just like want to know where I should, if I could, who I could call to get some help from me and my sister.

4:25🔗 Drew Great. All right.

4:26🔗 Adam That's good.

4:27🔗 Drew She wasn't sexually abused, this one.

4:28🔗 Adam Drew, give me your home number.

4:30🔗 Drew Let me give you a child abuse hotline, okay?

4:32🔗 Okay.

4:32🔗 Drew It's 1-800-540-4000.

4:38🔗 Okay.

4:38🔗 Drew And we have some resources at drdrew.com if you can get a computer, too.

4:42🔗 Yeah, okay.

4:43🔗 Adam Can you get to a computer?

4:44🔗 Drew Get into the chat rooms. Get into the chat rooms and we have people there that can help out.

4:48🔗 Caller What is it?

4:49🔗 Drew drdrew.com, one word, drdrew.com.

4:53🔗 Caller Okay.

4:53🔗 Adam Where are you calling from, Kenny?

4:56🔗 Caller Huh?

4:56🔗 Adam Where are you calling from?

4:57🔗 Caller I'm Ontario, California.

4:59🔗 Adam Oh boy. And where's your mom?

5:02🔗 Caller She left when I was eight.

5:04🔗 Adam Yeah, probably because your dad was doing all the drinking and all beating on her, huh?

5:08🔗 Caller Yeah.

5:09🔗 Yeah.

5:10🔗 Drew So you're with your dad now?

5:11🔗 Caller Yeah, it's just me, my dad and my sister.

5:16🔗 Caller Do you have any other family members that you can go?

5:20🔗 Caller No, all my family lives in New York.

5:23🔗 Drew Might that be a better place to go than where you are?

5:25🔗 Caller Yeah, but I mean, I don't really have any people I know.

5:29🔗 Caller I just know that my dad's sister's out there, but I haven't really ever met them.

5:32🔗 Adam And you haven't heard from your mom in four years?

5:35🔗 Caller No, I haven't talked to her since she left.

5:37🔗 Adam Oh, she's a saint this woman.

5:39🔗 Drew Is she a drug addict?

5:40🔗 Adam She's gotta be.

5:41🔗 Yeah, she is.

5:42🔗 Caller They're on speed.

5:43🔗 Yeah.

5:44🔗 Adam What's your dad do? What branch of construction is he in?

5:48🔗 Caller I don't know. He's a construction worker, but I don't know what he does.

5:51🔗 Drew You are a saint.

5:52🔗 Adam Listen, I work with these guys. I know. I know these guys. Hey, Katie. Yeah? I'm real sorry for what's happened to you. Thanks. It doesn't mean, you know, it's not a life sentence. It doesn't mean this is what you're damned to. It means you got dealt a bad hand. Time will pass quickly. You'll get away from this. You're smart. You're 12. I can hear in your voice. You have a lot of strength. And you just have to reach out and call on some resources and let some people help you.

6:19🔗 Caller Okay.

6:19🔗 Adam And get away from this guy. Okay?

6:21🔗 Caller Yeah.

6:22🔗 Adam All right. Take care of yourself. Thank you. Yeah. You know, it's weird, but we know from doing the show that her dad didn't mess with her too much.

6:29🔗 Drew Because she was able to stand up and try to make a change.

6:32🔗 Caller Yeah. She has.

6:35🔗 Drew There's something left there.

6:36🔗 Caller She asked for help.

6:37🔗 Caller Yeah. Which is a big part of it. That takes a lot.

6:42🔗 Drew How do you know?

6:43🔗 Adam I know the construction workers.

6:44🔗 Drew Is it the only sort of refuge for vermin?

6:47🔗 Adam Yeah, it is. That's it? Yeah. It's like, it's kind of what I'm guessing like what Australia was a couple hundred years ago. It's a penal colony. It's really the only employment slash penal colony in the United States.

7:01🔗 Drew Some journalists needs to get in the inside.

7:03🔗 Adam When I'm in charge, and I will be in charge soon, ladies, so. You be nice. I'm gonna, what I'm gonna do is I'm just going to, every construction crew, I'm gonna have one of my men on the inside. We're just gonna round these guys up. You know what I mean? Because they're all criminals. All of them. I'll tell you, criminals don't have as many criminals amongst their ranks as construction workers do. Bob? Yeah. You're 29. What's up?

7:31🔗 Caller Well, I haven't had sex with my wife in a while. I've been married about a year. And, you know, I was thinking about going to a hooker or something like that. I actually even tried.

7:43🔗 Adam You tried going to a hooker?

7:45🔗 Caller Yeah.

7:46🔗 Adam What happened? Too ugly?

7:48🔗 Caller No, they actually, I went to the place and they threw me out. They thought I was a cop.

7:53🔗 Adam Yeah, you gotta grow your hair out.

7:57🔗 Drew What's going on between you and your wife?

8:00🔗 Caller Not a whole hell of a lot.

8:01🔗 Drew What's the problem?

8:02🔗 Caller I don't know. I mean...

8:04🔗 Drew What does she say the problem is?

8:06🔗 Caller What's that?

8:06🔗 Drew What does she say the problem is?

8:09🔗 Caller You know, she's tired or, you know...

8:12🔗 Adam Yeah, or you're not listening? Well, I don't know. Hold on a second, screwball. You know, the problem with guys, I'm sure you ladies know this, they don't listen real well. Because you know, if Bob's wife was on the phone, she'd give you a laundry list just off the top of her head of all the things that are wrong with the relationship. He's not paying enough attention to her. He's not listening. He's not open. He's not available emotionally. He's not affectionate. And she would tell you that she told him this hundreds and thousands of times.

8:42🔗 Drew And just had a conversation 10 minutes ago.

8:43🔗 Adam And has begged him to go into therapy with her on 10 different occasions and he wouldn't do it. But when you talk to Bob, I don't know, it's just nuts. I think she got one of those amyrisms in her head. So let me get back to Bob. Bob?

8:59🔗 Yes.

8:59🔗 Adam Okay. You need to communicate with your wife.

9:02🔗 Okay.

9:02🔗 Adam Something's up with her. You gotta find out. You gotta turn the TV set off long enough to figure out what it is.

9:07🔗 Drew To really sit down and talk with her.

9:08🔗 Adam Okay, cause something's going on and you know women they like to be talked to. Yeah.

9:13🔗 Drew It's because you haven't been available in the way she needs you that this is breaking down.

9:17🔗 Caller Okay.

9:18🔗 Adam You have any kids?

9:19🔗 Caller No, not yet. Okay. We don't have kids if we're not having sex.

9:23🔗 Adam Well, that's a good point.

9:25🔗 Caller Yeah.

9:25🔗 Adam You could trip while you're running with the hamper and something could happen.

9:28🔗 Caller Yeah, right.

9:29🔗 Adam I've heard about that happening before. Alright, Bob, listen. Sit down, light a candle, turn the TV off, try not to fart for 20 minutes, and have a conversation with her, alright? And get to the bottom of it. Okay? Alright. Alright. Save the hooker for me. I'm in the hookin.

9:45🔗 Caller I'll stand her over to your house.

9:47🔗 Adam Yeah, thank you, Bob. Man, you, that's Squaresville. You go into a whorehouse, and they think you're a cop. It's time for a new wardrobe, by the way. That's how you know it's time to put away the seersucker slacks, the earth shoes, and let the hair grow out just a little bit when you stroll into a brothel, and they think you're an undercover bunko. Ashley?

10:11🔗 Yes?

10:11🔗 Adam You're 16?

10:12🔗 Caller Yes.

10:13🔗 Adam What's up?

10:13🔗 Caller Hi, Adam. Hi, Dr. Drew.

10:15🔗 Drew Ashley?

10:16🔗 Caller Yes. Okay, I was calling to ask, I love the show, calling to ask Destiny's Child a question. Here they are. Hi, guys.

10:24🔗 Caller Hi. How are you?

10:25🔗 Caller Fine. I love you guys so much. You guys are so great.

10:28🔗 Caller Thank you so much.

10:29🔗 Caller I was calling to see, okay, like, your music is so original and has such cool beats to it and everything, and I want to like, what inspires you? Like, where where you come up with your lyrics and stuff?

10:39🔗 Caller Well, I know working on this project, well, the second album, The Writings on the Wall, we worked with Shakespeare and Candy Burris first, and they came up with some really great creative ideas and different ideas that we really liked for the album because that's what we were going for this album, is something different. And it's like after we work with them, they kind of like set the foundation and the sound for the album. So the other producers came along and they kind of did the same thing. So the vibe just like really fit between everybody. And I know Beyonce produced on this album, which was a great thing because she knew everybody's voices. Yeah. And since, well, it's really great when a producer knows your voice because they bring out the best in you.

11:21🔗 Caller Yeah, you guys just all go so great together. You should have seen me on hold. I was singing when it was Say My Name.

11:25🔗 Caller It was so funny.

11:27🔗 Caller Thank you.

11:27🔗 Caller Every word, I swear every day me and my friend sing your song like back and forth. You know, like the chorus of Say My Name.

11:33🔗 Adam Oh, really?

11:34🔗 Caller Back and forth, always every day in history. It's hilarious.

11:37🔗 Adam Hey, Ashley, you want to sing a little?

11:39🔗 Caller I have a terrible voice.

11:41🔗 Caller I think I know the words.

11:42🔗 Adam What if the girls sing a little with you?

11:44🔗 Caller All right.

11:45🔗 Caller Oh, my God. I would like totally die.

11:48🔗 Adam Better than singing with your friend, isn't it?

11:50🔗 Yes, it is.

11:52🔗 Caller We will. We will do a little bit of the chorus to say my name for you.

11:56🔗 Caller Okay.

11:57🔗 Caller All right.

11:58🔗 Caller I think I know the words. So if I'm wrong, just join in.

12:01🔗 Caller All right.

12:02🔗 Caller Okay, so want me to start?

12:03🔗 Caller Yeah.

12:04🔗 Caller Okay. Another thing that I'm assuming things.

12:06🔗 Caller Same girl.

12:07🔗 Caller Oh, wait, wait. We're going to do some of the chorus. All right.

12:09🔗 Adam Not so fast.

12:10🔗 Caller Like this.

12:11🔗 Here we go.

12:13🔗 Caller Oh, I was thinking. Okay. Another thing that I'm assuming things.

12:16🔗 Caller Say my name, say my name. And no one is around you.

12:54🔗 Adam Are you guys job safe?

12:55🔗 Caller Thank you so much.

12:57🔗 Adam All right, Ashley.

12:58🔗 Caller All of you.

12:58🔗 Adam It's our pleasure.

12:59🔗 Caller Listen to it every night.

13:01🔗 Caller Thank you.

13:02🔗 Adam Take care. Well, isn't that lovely? You see that? You wait through a whole bunch of calls of teenagers hooked on smack or are pregnant, and then you get one of those and it makes it all worthwhile. Right, Drew?

13:14🔗 Drew Worthwhile.

13:18🔗 Adam That was lovely, by the way.

13:19🔗 Caller Thank you.

13:21🔗 Adam Heather? Hi. You're 16. I know people sing on records. I just never assume they can do it in real life. I don't know what, I'm not sure what that is. I think it's like a movie where Jean-Claude Van Damme plays a cyborg or something. I'm used to him. Obviously, he's not in real life. I look that way at singers too.

13:39🔗 Drew We're used to see those alternative rock bands where there is a big difference.

13:43🔗 Adam A lot of magic done in the studio, but not you guys.

13:46🔗 Caller Thank you.

13:47🔗 Adam Heather, where are we with Heather? Yeah. What's up? You're 16.

13:51🔗 Caller Yeah. Well, I wanted to say hi to Destiny's Child.

13:54🔗 Caller Hi.

13:55🔗 Caller I got your CD for Christmas and haven't been able to stop listening to it.

13:58🔗 Caller Thank you so much.

14:00🔗 Caller I actually get to see you in concert on Thursday for the Boo Bomb. I'm so excited.

14:06🔗 Caller Okay. We look forward to seeing you out there.

14:08🔗 Caller I know. My friends are so jealous that they can't go.

14:11🔗 Caller Why?

14:12🔗 Caller Because they didn't get tickets.

14:14🔗 Caller Okay.

14:15🔗 Caller Yeah. Oh my God.

14:16🔗 Caller I can't believe I'm talking to you. Adam, I wanted to say something new.

14:20🔗 Drew Yes.

14:20🔗 Caller One of my biggest pet peeves is when people call the show and say, this question is for Drew. You always answer. Sometimes you will answer and it bugs the crap out of you.

14:29🔗 Drew Well, in fact, Heather, when somebody says that, he's sure to answer immediately.

14:33🔗 Caller Yeah.

14:34🔗 Drew He makes a point of it.

14:35🔗 Adam That's right.

14:35🔗 Caller Yeah.

14:36🔗 Adam Yep. I know.

14:39🔗 Caller I want to know why I always have to like guys. I always need someone to like and if they start to like me, I leave the traction and get bored. And the ones that I like.

14:51🔗 I think we all do that.

14:52🔗 Caller You sound like me.

14:54🔗 Adam Young girls do that.

14:56🔗 Caller But see, I've always been like that. I had a really good childhood. I wasn't molested or anything.

15:00🔗 Adam You're 16. What do you mean you've always been that way?

15:02🔗 Caller You're 16. No.

15:04🔗 Caller Ever since I was a little girl, I've been obsessed with guys like overly.

15:09🔗 Adam All right. Well, you guys can weigh in on this one. But I think all girls have that to some degree, especially young girls. Some have it more than others.

15:19🔗 Caller Yeah.

15:19🔗 Adam And the question is, if Mr. Wright came along, would you have to turn him down just because he was interested?

15:25🔗 Drew Because if that's the case, or is it actually a protective mechanism that prevents you from getting needlessly involved with somebody that really is not right for you?

15:33🔗 Caller That's kind of what I think it is, because I'm always so afraid that they're going to hurt me, that I feel I have to hurt them first.

15:41🔗 Where did you get that fear?

15:42🔗 Drew Did you abandon them when you were younger or something?

15:46🔗 Caller Not really. A family problem happened with my parents, and I'm not allowed to talk to my grandparents.

15:52🔗 What happened?

15:53🔗 Caller They got in a business fight, and I was really close with my grandmother, and she moved to Arizona where it's cheaper, and I didn't talk to her for a long time, and it was really hard on me, and I had to move, and it was really hard.

16:04🔗 Drew You may still be dealing with that. That's a pretty painful loss.

16:07🔗 Caller I am.

16:08🔗 Drew Yeah. That may be sort of resonating in your choices today. I bet you'll get over that with time. All right, Heather.

16:14🔗 Caller Because I've never had a boyfriend before.

16:17🔗 Drew You're 16. That's all right.

16:18🔗 Caller That's all right.

16:19🔗 Drew That's all right. It's a healthy thing. Listen, you want to know why not to have a boyfriend? Just listen to our show for a couple more hours.

16:24🔗 Adam That's right.

16:24🔗 Drew Lots of good reasons why not to.

16:26🔗 Adam It's also, if you want to know why not to get in a radio, listen to the show. Why not to do a lot of things? Just listen to the show, everybody. The girls are not only sing like angels, but they look like them, too. It's just, was there some ugly girl you kicked out of the band?

16:43🔗 Caller No.

16:44🔗 Adam No?

16:44🔗 Caller No.

16:45🔗 Caller We do have two new members, Farrah and Michelle.

16:49🔗 Adam Yeah. Yeah. So you guys got in because you're good looking. Well, and you can sing. That's what I wanted to say. Thank you. Yeah. That's nice. And everyone's from Texas.

16:59🔗 Caller Well, the two new members, one is from LA.

17:02🔗 Adam Oh.

17:02🔗 Caller And one is from Illinois.

17:04🔗 Adam Illinois. Which one's from LA? Farrah. Me. Farrah, yeah. Watch out. She's trouble.

17:10🔗 Drew We're in Illinois.

17:11🔗 Caller Rockford.

17:12🔗 Drew Rockford.

17:13🔗 Caller Right outside Chicago.

17:15🔗 Adam All right. And what did you did you kick a couple old members out for getting fat or what happened?

17:21🔗 Caller No, we didn't kick anyone out by getting fat.

17:26🔗 Adam I know it's very competitive.

17:28🔗 Caller Yeah. But unfortunately, we're working. Well, fortunately, we're working on a settlement with the other two ladies, so we can't really get into it until everything's over.

17:37🔗 Caller All right.

17:37🔗 Caller Yeah.

17:38🔗 Adam Yeah, I'm sorry.

17:39🔗 Caller We believe that everything happens for a reason, though.

17:41🔗 Adam Yeah. Even bad stuff?

17:43🔗 Caller No, change is good.

17:44🔗 Adam Change is only good.

17:45🔗 Caller Change is good.

17:46🔗 Adam I believe good stuff happens for a reason and bad stuff happens because I'm cursed and there's no God. Right, Drew?

17:52🔗 Drew That's your basic principle.

17:54🔗 Adam That's my basic approach to life. Jessica.

17:57🔗 Drew Sorry. Is that enough?

17:59🔗 Adam Drew's throwing sugar at the band. Jessica, you're 15. What's up? Should a doctor be throwing sugar at young people?

18:07🔗 Caller I don't have to ask.

18:10🔗 Adam Easy, easy, girl.

18:11🔗 Caller Hello?

18:11🔗 Adam Jessica.

18:12🔗 Caller Okay, I've been bulimic for a couple of weeks, just a little bit bulimic, and I threw up today and my nose started to bleed.

18:23🔗 Adam That's a bad sign, right, Drew?

18:24🔗 Drew That's not surprising.

18:26🔗 Adam Why did her nose start bleeding?

18:27🔗 Drew From all the, literally, the retching, the pressure that builds up in the Kieselbach's plexus, the vessels in the surface of the nose there, what can break them through?

18:36🔗 Adam Kieselbach, what was that?

18:37🔗 Drew There's a very rich area of blood supply right in the septum here, and if you really push down hard, you do Valsalva, like you're retching, you can cause bleeding there. But that is the least of the major problems that you're going to begin having.

18:50🔗 Caller Okay.

18:51🔗 Drew You're just getting started with the medical problems, and many of them become life-threatening. Okay.

18:58🔗 Adam Can you stop doing it?

19:00🔗 Caller What?

19:00🔗 Adam Can you stop?

19:01🔗 Caller Um, no. I just, I have to after I eat something.

19:05🔗 Caller It makes me sick if I don't.

19:07🔗 Drew Even though you're going to die from this?

19:09🔗 Caller I guess.

19:10🔗 Adam Okay. Well, why, how'd you get started on it?

19:14🔗 Caller I just wanted to lose weight, I guess.

19:17🔗 Adam How long have you been doing it?

19:18🔗 Caller Um, about a month and a half.

19:21🔗 Adam And...

19:22🔗 Caller I don't throw up all my food.

19:24🔗 Adam No.

19:25🔗 Caller Just, just like dinner.

19:26🔗 Adam Just the peas and carrots?

19:28🔗 Caller Just like the, the bread and the noodles and crackers and stuff.

19:31🔗 Adam Uh-huh. How do you, how do you do that?

19:34🔗 Caller I stick my finger in my mouth.

19:36🔗 Drew Now, how do you selectively throw up is this question?

19:38🔗 Adam Hold on, let me write this down. You put your finger down. Yeah. So what do you do? You eat your like starches first, and then you throw that up and then you eat your proteins and you keep that down?

19:48🔗 Caller No, I, I'll eat like breakfast and lunch, like little breakfast and lunch and then when I get home for dinner, like it'll be a big dinner and it just makes me sick.

19:59🔗 Adam And that's when you throw it up?

20:00🔗 Caller Yeah.

20:01🔗 Drew Do you not believe that something drastic can happen to you from this?

20:04🔗 Caller No.

20:05🔗 Drew Okay.

20:05🔗 Adam How much do you weigh?

20:07🔗 Caller 130.

20:08🔗 Adam And how tall are you?

20:09🔗 Caller Five-four.

20:10🔗 Adam And what are you so worried about? I mean, where'd you get this, you know, negative self-image?

20:14🔗 Caller That's the average weight, isn't it?

20:16🔗 Adam Yeah.

20:16🔗 Caller Almost about five-four.

20:18🔗 Adam That's fine.

20:19🔗 Caller Why don't you do it like a diet or something, which is way better than being bulimic?

20:25🔗 Adam You know, why don't you exercise and do all that?

20:26🔗 Caller I mean, that's your health you're talking about.

20:28🔗 Caller Well, I exercise a lot. I play soccer.

20:31🔗 Adam Adam. Yeah. That's just screwed up. All right. Drew, what should you do? Hurry.

20:36🔗 Drew You need to get treated with a Jessica P. About one out of five people with this die. You've got to take this very seriously. This is not, oh, ha, my, just throw out my dinner. This is a major league eating disorder. You're getting into a young age, and it is going to be crippling if you don't do something about it.

20:52🔗 Caller Okay.

20:52🔗 Drew Okay.

20:53🔗 Caller Thank you.

20:53🔗 Adam All right.

20:54🔗 Drew You should not do a damn thing about it.

20:55🔗 Adam No, I know, but what are you going to do? All right, we're going to take ourselves a little break. Destiny's Child is our guest tonight.

21:02🔗 Drew We're going to go to the bathroom.

21:03🔗 Adam That's right.

21:06🔗 Loveline, 1-800-LOVE-191. Back in a minute.

21:10🔗 Adam Well, it's worth hearing. Hey, everybody, it's the best of the best of the best of the loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew and Destiny's Child. Sweet, sweet girls. Met them at the Teen Choice Awards.

21:46🔗 Drew They came running up to us all excited.

21:48🔗 Adam Many years ago.

21:49🔗 Drew And you were like, who are you?

21:51🔗 Adam They're hot.

21:51🔗 Drew They're so nice.

21:52🔗 Adam Yeah, they're sweet. So anyway, and talented.

21:54🔗 Drew But speaking of nice.

21:55🔗 Adam Yeah, super nice and a man I feel a certain kinship with because he has a huge eyebrows.

22:01🔗 Drew Huge brows, yeah.

22:02🔗 Adam Peter Gallagher and Adam Brody from the OC. Hey, everybody, it's Loveline.

22:08🔗 I'm Adam.

22:09🔗 Adam That's Dr. Drew. Adam Brody here tonight. Peter Gallagher here tonight. Both from the OC on Fox.

22:16🔗 Nine o'clock.

22:17🔗 Adam They're going to hang out with us for this one last break. And they're nice enough to do that because they were just going to stay for the first hour. But we got too caught up in Danielle. We couldn't say proper goodbyes to the boys.

22:30🔗 Drew Right. And then nor did we finish with Danielle, which was, again, this is a horrible choice as a young person, getting yourself involved in very chaotic relationships, sexual identity confusion, and needs help. I mean, she really does. Just the basic advice we would give you is cool down, stop having relations with anybody for a couple of years. Thank God she doesn't clearly, fairly clear doesn't have the gene for addiction.

22:52🔗 Adam Yeah, but what do you do when you're from where Danielle's from? You have big boobs in the fellas like you.

22:59🔗 Drew And you have low self-esteem and the only thing you want is their validation.

23:02🔗 Adam Daddy's sleeping on a army cot on the service porch after he pulls the rig in every four months. What are you supposed to do? You know what I'm saying? Yeah. I mean, should you find Jesus Christ? Should you just get immersed in softball? I mean, people like Danielle have to get involved with stuff at school and just stay with it. And Drew, a new twist on you punching the mic. Yeah, Drew whacked it with his glasses this time. He usually doesn't use a tool. He's like primitive man. Now he's entered a new age where he's actually using tools against his foe.

23:40🔗 Drew What, the deuce?

23:41🔗 Adam The microphone, yes. All right, so, Daniel, please. Okay, don't get pregnant. That's what you need not to do. Okay. Let's move forward. We got a question for Adam Brody here. Tanya?

23:54🔗 Hi. Yes, I am.

23:58🔗 Adam What's up?

23:59🔗 I have a question for Adam.

24:01🔗 Caller I was wondering, I read somewhere that you ad-lib a lot of your lines as Seth, and I was just wondering if, how much of you is actually infused into the character of Seth now, as opposed to the beginning of the series?

24:16🔗 Caller He's a lot more like me now, just but more or less from me throwing lines in, then Josh, the kid of the show, he's become a good friend of all the cast, and he knows us really well, so he writes everyone, I think, has become more like their characters.

24:31🔗 Drew Does he grow up in the OC?

24:33🔗 Caller No, he's just from Providence. He went to USC, and I guess there's a lot of new importance there. He's only 27, and he was kind of on the show. I guess he was the youngest kid I would have in a drama. But anyways, he knows us really well, so he ends up writing a lot of the stuff we say just naturally. It's kind of like the Easter egg, you'll flip through the script and you'll just see things that you didn't know he was going to, you weren't even talking about characters, you were talking about music or something, and you just throw them in the script. Everyone, that happens to everyone.

25:00🔗 Adam Is he right every episode?

25:02🔗 Caller He either writes, I mean, he's executive producer slash writer, so I mean, he has a hand, he sometimes, there's a team of writers, but he's always in the hand.

25:09🔗 Sometimes he writes an episode from beginning to end and he has his hand in, I think, every episode.

25:15🔗 Adam Oh, I hate guys like that. IA. Tanya?

25:19🔗 Me too.

25:20🔗 Adam You're cool, right?

25:21🔗 Yeah.

25:21🔗 Caller All right.

25:23🔗 Adam You watch that OC tomorrow night.

25:25🔗 Caller Right.

25:26🔗 Adam Thanks, Tanya. Nine o'clock, Fox.

25:27🔗 Caller Yeah, no problem.

25:28🔗 Adam All right.

25:29🔗 Drew Depends where you're listening to us. If you're hearing us East, it's tonight.

25:33🔗 Adam Beyond a day delay, right? Except for it's after the show.

25:36🔗 Drew Except you're right.

25:37🔗 Adam Thank you.

25:38🔗 Drew All right.

25:38🔗 Adam Don't bother watching OC. Next week. You catch it next week. Michael?

25:42🔗 Yeah.

25:43🔗 Adam You're 20?

25:44🔗 Caller Correct.

25:45🔗 Adam What's happening?

25:48🔗 Caller Actually, I got a question for Dr. Drew. When I was seven years old, I had a brain tumor. So I'm kind of disabled.

26:02🔗 Adam How are you disabled?

26:05🔗 Caller I'm legally blind and legally deaf.

26:10🔗 Drew Right.

26:10🔗 Caller You can probably tell by my voice too.

26:12🔗 Caller You know, you're off.

26:14🔗 Drew You hear seemingly fairly well, right?

26:17🔗 Caller Yes. I was diagnosed in March, March 1st of 91. So it's been a remission for 13 years.

26:25🔗 Adam How do you get to be legally deaf? Because I'd like to go for that. Do you do, what's the test like? I mean, we're conversing over the telephone. You seem fine.

26:36🔗 Caller Well, see, I can't hear anything out of my left ear. And I'm talking to you with my right ear.

26:42🔗 Drew Okay, so he's deaf in his left ear.

26:44🔗 Adam Okay, deaf in your left ear. And legally blind pretty much means you can see stuff, but like you can't get your driver's license?

26:52🔗 Caller No, I have, it's just barely, my site's just barely where they won't let me get my license.

26:58🔗 Drew What kind of tumor did you have?

27:00🔗 Caller Sorry?

27:01🔗 Drew What kind of tumor did you have?

27:03🔗 Caller Called with a medulla blastoma brain tumor.

27:07🔗 Drew Medulla blastoma, okay. Those are in the cerebellum usually, right? Adam picked up my mic sawing hands.

27:12🔗 Yeah, just did that. Yeah, well, I blame you.

27:14🔗 Adam Yeah, your bad influence on the kids. These OC kids especially, they're very impressionable.

27:18🔗 Drew Was it in the back part of your brain?

27:21🔗 Caller Yes, it was on my optic nerve.

27:23🔗 Drew Yeah.

27:24🔗 Adam Drew, are you a real doctor or just a love doctor? All right, so they took it out. Yeah?

27:30🔗 Caller Correct.

27:31🔗 Adam Right, and because of the tumor, you have the problem with the seeing and the hearing.

27:36🔗 Caller Right. Yeah.

27:37🔗 Drew They hit the optic nerve when they took it out.

27:39🔗 Caller But that wasn't my question. All right.

27:41🔗 Adam Well, what other problems do you have?

27:44🔗 Caller Nothing really.

27:46🔗 Drew Did you have radiation also?

27:47🔗 Caller Yes, I had radiation and chemotherapy, and that's where my question comes from. Okay. The doctors have been saying, I haven't been tested yet, but the doctor has been saying I might not be able to have kids because of all the chemotherapy and radiation.

28:04🔗 Drew Right.

28:05🔗 Caller So, and I was wondering, the radiation stonked my growth.

28:09🔗 Drew Right.

28:09🔗 Caller Stonked my spines from growing when I was seven. So, I was wondering if that had anything to do with the reason why I have a small penis. Couldn't hurt, right?

28:20🔗 Drew Yeah. It sounds like everything kind of stunted at that point. Did you ever see an endocrinologist?

28:25🔗 Caller No, I haven't.

28:26🔗 Drew Make sure the pituitary is functioning normally, because that's sort of the main gland in your body that drives the rest of them.

28:33🔗 Caller Well, how big are you? Well, I kind of did. I had a growth hormone shot for three years.

28:38🔗 Drew Good. I wonder...

28:39🔗 Caller And I'd go in all the time, and they'd check that.

28:42🔗 Drew Was that the neurosurgeons did that, or do the endocrinologists do that?

28:46🔗 Caller Endocrinologists.

28:47🔗 Drew Okay. So, it must...

28:49🔗 Caller But they never told me if I could have kids or anything like that.

28:55🔗 Adam Well, how big are you in stature? Not your penis size, but we'll get to that.

29:01🔗 Caller I'd say about four hard.

29:03🔗 Drew Four feet?

29:04🔗 Adam No, four hard.

29:05🔗 Drew Four. Now he's back to...

29:06🔗 Caller Yeah.

29:07🔗 Adam He went to... Yeah, I begged you to stay away from the penis. It couldn't help it. You went right to the underpants.

29:12🔗 Caller All right.

29:12🔗 Adam So, you're four hard.

29:14🔗 Drew That's why chromosome is functioning just fine.

29:16🔗 Adam Yeah. So, you get a good erection. Sorry? I could do damage with four. To me, it's a small blade. I still kill a man. I mean a woman. Well, you know what I'm saying. Whatever. Yeah, you got to get it. You got to hit the jugular. You can't hit the fatty tissue. And I can't hit the butt cheek or anything like that. You got to go right. You got to pierce the ribs. Get right in there.

29:35🔗 Drew They call you the butcher.

29:36🔗 Adam That's why I call myself butcher.

29:39🔗 Drew Yeah.

29:39🔗 Adam They call me the baker, the candlestick maker. So, so Michael, how tall are you? Not your penis.

29:47🔗 Caller Oh, how tall am I on five two?

29:49🔗 Drew Five two.

29:50🔗 Adam Five two. And how much do you weigh?

29:52🔗 Caller 140.

29:54🔗 Drew Do you have normal body hair distribution, that sort of thing?

29:56🔗 Caller Sorry?

29:57🔗 Drew Do you have normal body hair?

30:00🔗 Caller I do, but it's thin because of the radiation. It fell out because of the chemo-therapy and all.

30:07🔗 Adam Are you a virgin?

30:08🔗 Caller Yes, I am.

30:09🔗 Drew Do you have orgasms? Do you have semen come out?

30:14🔗 Caller Yeah, when I jack off.

30:15🔗 Drew Okay.

30:15🔗 Adam Oh, when you jack off. Okay, good. So, it's not like your fountain. You should walk around like a rain bird all day, just spraying semen everywhere. Oh, thank Christ. Zach, that can be... That can slow you down.

30:28🔗 Drew But that's good, though.

30:29🔗 Adam That'll keep you in the house.

30:30🔗 Drew So, what you need is a sperm count to see if there's a potential for fertility. So, you're making semen normally abnormal. You have sexual functioning, and then that will remain to be seen, I guess.

30:39🔗 Adam Four inches at five, two is, eh. Here's what you gotta focus on, performing oral sex. Not on yourself, but on the ladies. You get good at that, all is forgiven. Okay, so focus on that. Don't talk to your doctors about that. That'll be our little secret.

30:58🔗 Drew But bring this up with the doctors. It's totally appropriate for you to be talking about these issues with them, and now it's just fine. So, back to the endocrinologist and see what, get an assessment and see if there's anything further they need to do, which probably not. It sounds like things are functioning well.

31:11🔗 Adam And what technology, the way it is these days, you'll be able to have kids one way or the other.

31:16🔗 Drew There are certain chemo's that knock that out, but you know.

31:18🔗 Adam No, but what I'm saying is, you find a woman, you're in love, you want to start a family, there's some problem with your sperm count, you borrow a little from your brother, Dr. Drew, whatever, you can buy a little on the internet. It's all good. Okay, buddy.

31:33🔗 Drew Are you working?

31:34🔗 Caller No, I'm on disability.

31:36🔗 Adam All right, anything you want to do? Do you have any interests?

31:40🔗 Caller Yeah, I want to work with the wildlife biologist.

31:46🔗 Drew Are you meeting girls?

31:47🔗 Caller Sorry?

31:48🔗 Drew Are you meeting women?

31:49🔗 Caller No, it's very hard for me because I'm disabled.

31:52🔗 Adam Yeah, it is, but there's a certain breed of a chick that will go for that and if you find that, you're in great shape. You got to find one. Know what I mean?

32:01🔗 Caller Yeah.

32:02🔗 Adam Yeah, all right. Get involved with some of those groups and do that stuff, and then just go to school and be a biologist.

32:07🔗 Drew There you go.

32:08🔗 Adam Animals don't judge. That's what I like about them, except for certain lap dogs.

32:14🔗 Drew Little ones.

32:14🔗 Adam Yeah, little dogs. I think they judge.

32:16🔗 Drew I think so, too. They certainly behave like they're judgemental.

32:19🔗 Adam Yeah, they do pass a lot of judgment. All right, so, hey, but good times, Michael. You'll be fine.

32:25🔗 Drew Question for the guest.

32:26🔗 Adam Oh, yeah, question for the guest here. Let's see. Monique?

32:30🔗 Caller Yes?

32:31🔗 Adam You're 16?

32:32🔗 Caller Yeah.

32:33🔗 Adam What's up?

32:34🔗 Caller I have a question for Adam Brody.

32:36🔗 Adam Here he is.

32:37🔗 Caller Hey. Hello.

32:39🔗 Hey. Okay.

32:41🔗 Caller First off, your show is great. There's not much great TV anymore. It's a great show. I love it.

32:46🔗 Caller Thanks.

32:48🔗 Caller I was wondering what you think about playing somebody so much younger than you really are.

32:56🔗 Caller Yeah, go on. Sorry.

32:58🔗 Caller Oh, I was just wondering like how much of it is your idea of what a 17-year-old guy is and what the script is?

33:06🔗 Caller I mean, you know, it's probably more the script. I mean, for the most part, I have to say, I end up playing him kind of... I'm 23 and I end up playing him more like me, but, you know, in high school, I play him a little bit more... a little bit smarter and a little bit more literate than I actually was at 17. But I just think that's for the benefit of all the viewers.

33:24🔗 Adam Oh, all people who are young on TV are like playing older.

33:29🔗 Caller Most, most. I mean, Nisha's on our show. She's Barton. She's playing 17. She is 17. But in general, and that has to do more with, I mean, I think the working laws, and, you know, if you're under 18, they can't work you quite as long.

33:42🔗 Adam I'm just saying, like, if you turn on a TV show, there'll be some 15-year-old guy who'll, like, pull a switchblade on another kid and go, like, man, I don't even know you anymore. And it's like, when you're really 15, you're like, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh.

33:54🔗 Right, right, right, right, right.

33:57🔗 Caller Right, right, no, exactly, exactly, which is why, you know, I think it works fine. I do feel, to answer your question, though, I do feel, sometimes I don't mind, and then sometimes I just feel ridiculous, like, when we're, sometimes we'll go to a location to a real school, and I, you know, I strap on a backpack, and I'm, like, lowering, like, at these short drinking fountains, and I just, you know, I just feel ridiculous. But other times, when I'm walking around the house, and I don't even, you know, it's fine.

34:20🔗 Adam Listen, when that check shows up, you don't feel so bad anymore. Yes? Yeah. Hey, Monique.

34:26🔗 Caller Yeah.

34:27🔗 Adam You just keep watching the show.

34:28🔗 Caller I love it. Thank you so much.

34:30🔗 Adam All right, baby doll.

34:31🔗 Caller Bye.

34:32🔗 Adam All right. Bye. Peter, what's it like for you as an actor to play a guy exactly your age? Is that difficult to stretch your characters exactly the same age you are?

34:43🔗 Caller You know, I never even thought about that. Yeah, I guess he is exactly the same age.

34:46🔗 Caller Because that's a bad question.

34:48🔗 Caller That's why.

34:49🔗 Adam Do you know how old your character is? Is he older than you or younger than you?

34:54🔗 Caller He is supposed to be 16. No, I'm 48. He's 17. He's probably about the same age. Yeah.

34:58🔗 Adam Do they bother telling you how old your guy is?

35:00🔗 Caller No, it's not really.

35:02🔗 Adam I'd want to know.

35:03🔗 Caller It's really not an issue as long as I'm old enough to be a father of a 16-year-old.

35:07🔗 Adam 17.

35:08🔗 Caller You changed it.

35:09🔗 Caller 17.

35:09🔗 Caller Yeah, I cleared out Josh the other day.

35:10🔗 Adam Tomorrow, you march in in demand to know how old you are.

35:14🔗 Caller I will. I'm going to put my foot down tomorrow.

35:17🔗 Adam Your foot down. It's important.

35:18🔗 Caller You're 32.

35:19🔗 Adam All right. We are going to take ourselves a little break. Peter and Adam from the OC are going to have to head back to the OC because they have a big day of filming tomorrow. It's true. All right. Well, it was a delight meeting the two of you.

35:33🔗 Caller It was. Great seeing you.

35:35🔗 Adam You're welcome to come back as a couple or as individuals. Anytime you like, any project you have, come back, give it a nice big plug and spark up that doobie, we'll blow down the parking lot. And again, I just want you to go and open mine. Just relax.

35:54🔗 Caller Just like Vikings on a long voyage.

35:57🔗 Adam Don't judge until I'm done. That's all I'm saying.

36:00🔗 All right.

36:00🔗 Adam We'll be back.

36:01🔗 Caller Thank you for calling Loveline.

36:03🔗 Caller Your call will be answered in the order it seems interesting.

36:06🔗 Call Loveline.

36:10🔗 Adam If the January Playboy is any indication, 2005 is going to be hot, hot, hot. Thanks to Jenny McCarthy's steamy pictorial in the January issue of Playboy. Hey, yo, it's the best of the best of the best of the best of the loveline. I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew, and let's keep the party rocking, Drew.

36:44🔗 Drew I just got to say, this show is not just the best of the best. This is the first half of the show is the best of the best of our dearest, dear, dear, dear, nicest guest ever.

36:53🔗 Adam All right, and let's keep going with that theme with Ozzy Osbourne and his beautiful wife, Sharon. Yeah, that's Clive Barker with his Adam Corolla. Instead of Adam Corolla, it's an English thing. I don't know why you guys put that R where the A is supposed to be.

37:15🔗 Caller For what?

37:17🔗 Adam All right, I don't want to start off on a bad thing.

37:19🔗 I never went to school, so you're asking that I'm dyslexic and I sort of am ADD.

37:24🔗 Drew No, it's Adam, too.

37:25🔗 You guys have a lot of comments.

37:27🔗 Adam I'm going to tell my kid not to go to school on the off chance he becomes a successful entrepreneur or musician or actor so he can announce that while he counts his millions. Doesn't it feel better? I mean, aren't you glad you didn't go to school now?

37:42🔗 Well, not really, because it does get frustrating when I say, and he said a K-R-O-Q, I'll read it all back to front, and I see things back to front, and my concentration span is about one millionth of a second, and in my whole life, I must have read maybe five books.

38:02🔗 Caller Yeah, this is Adam.

38:03🔗 Adam You're really my hero.

38:04🔗 Caller Yes.

38:04🔗 Adam Because I don't like to read either.

38:06🔗 Because I love to know. You love it? If somebody invented a pill that made me let me, I'd love to read, I'd love to go into a library and just pick out a book. I envy people that can read, I mean, I know people that can speed read. That must be a trip, man.

38:20🔗 Drew Adam has so much negative sort of connotation to the book that he can't even get near a book without shuddering and feeling all over it.

38:27🔗 Caller I do.

38:27🔗 I buy books to make myself fairly intelligent.

38:29🔗 Caller And I just, stay around them, live around books.

38:34🔗 I've got first editions of every, I've got Churchill's first edition. I can't even read the name Churchill. I said, what's this? Well, she charmed by these first editions. I go, well, what does that mean? She goes, this is Winston Churchill's memoirs. I go, what about how drunk he used to get? How many cigars he used to smoke during the war?

38:54🔗 Adam Oh, that's sacrilege. He saved your country.

38:57🔗 Bull.

38:58🔗 Adam Crap. All right, Ozzy Osborne is here. Sharon is also here. Sharon is his wife and manager and wrangler and sometimes interpreter. And put your headphones on, Sharon, because when we get some calls, you're going to want to hear these problems that these kids have. Now, I think I saw behind the music on you.

39:18🔗 Yeah.

39:19🔗 Adam And boy, I'll tell you, where do you start? What a great behind the music. Like, that should have been a five hour behind the music.

39:27🔗 In actual fact, there's part two coming. It's true that there's part two coming out shortly.

39:31🔗 Adam Yeah. Because it wasn't, you know, once in a while, they do a behind the music with like a hazy fantaisie or third eye blind or something. That's my point. There's not enough to fill up the time. But with you, you got too much material for the allotted time. But there's a couple of things.

39:47🔗 Before I've known.

39:48🔗 Drew You've been here before.

39:49🔗 That's right.

39:49🔗 Drew It was about eight years ago.

39:50🔗 I feel like I've been abducted by aliens and just let down again.

39:55🔗 Adam He pointed at Dr. Drew, by the way. I was not here when I was here.

39:59🔗 I'll never forget a face. Really? Let's see if I've ripped him up.

40:04🔗 Drew No, we had a good time.

40:05🔗 Adam You did? All right. Now, Sharon. Sharon, you guys met. I mean, it's been some years now, right? Ten years plus.

40:12🔗 No, I actually first met Sharon when she was a secretary. No, a telephone reception for her father in 1971. And I just her father was trying to get management for Black Sabbath. Right. And I was wearing a pajama top for a shirt and a hot water faucet for jewelry. And she was absolutely I was smoking partying in the reception. And she was absolutely freaked out.

40:35🔗 Adam And you were like, weren't you like locked up in a hotel room and Sharon that came up and saved you?

40:41🔗 Caller That was in seventy nine.

40:42🔗 Well, that was a while ago.

40:44🔗 Drew They've been together for years at that point, see?

40:46🔗 Adam Well, but here's the thing I was curious about. The infamous biting the head off. I know I don't have to answer any questions. But here's what I'm curious about. When I was watching the behind the music thing, is biting the head off of the dove in the record meeting. There was pictures of it.

41:04🔗 Caller Yeah.

41:05🔗 Adam It wasn't a reenactment. I was like, who had a camera for that?

41:09🔗 Caller Well, it was supposed to be me signing up with the record company.

41:12🔗 Adam Oh, that's why they were taking the pictures.

41:14🔗 Caller It was me. You know, when you go, hi, and they were saying nothing, and the next guy comes in, and these dudes are like... So when you go to the fun thing, you put your face through one of them.

41:22🔗 Adam Yeah.

41:23🔗 Caller Be happy how it...

41:25🔗 Adam Yeah.

41:25🔗 Caller Oh, you need a camera in here. Sharon says to me, I want you to go in and throw these doves in the air. And I said, I was drunk. And I said, I threw one of them in the air, and I bit the one's head off. And they all went wrong. The opposite way around.

41:37🔗 Adam Yeah, the blood was coming out. It was great that there was a camera there. That's all I'm saying. That was...

41:43🔗 Caller Nobody... I mean, Sharon says... Sharon was literally wetting herself. Literally.

41:51🔗 Caller In the reception of CBS.

41:53🔗 Adam You had a tinkle in your pants in the reception of CBS?

41:56🔗 Caller On the floor, a huge tinkle. Really? Because I couldn't stop laughing.

42:01🔗 Caller It's more like a small like.

42:03🔗 Drew It doesn't qualify as a tinkle, then, does it?

42:05🔗 Caller No, it's not.

42:05🔗 Drew It's a pit.

42:07🔗 Caller A pit.

42:09🔗 Adam That's great. Wow, what a mess you guys made in that office.

42:13🔗 Caller It was great.

42:14🔗 It was...

42:14🔗 Caller I mean, we went back to our father's house. You guys stink. You need to take a bath more often.

42:24🔗 All right.

42:24🔗 Adam We'll take some calls. Audrey?

42:27🔗 Caller Yes?

42:27🔗 Adam What's up?

42:28🔗 Nothing.

42:29🔗 Caller I'm just like really excited. I have a question. I'm not really a question.

42:34🔗 I want to say thank you to Ozzy for the music.

42:37🔗 Caller Thank you. Thank you. And also to your wife for getting you back on your feet and having you around this long. I'm really happy.

42:48🔗 Caller That's another thing I don't know how... I don't believe in miracles and things, but I'm sure I had an incredible run. You know, considering I started in 68 with Black Sabbath.

43:02🔗 Caller Oh, I know that.

43:03🔗 Caller It's now in 2001. It's like, where has the time gone? It's like a flash has gone by. So you know what you should do every day? Enjoy your life. Exactly. I mean, Sharon and I were in New York for this, when this terrorist attack happened. You know, and suddenly the world kind of changed for us all. And what I decided to do, you know, is have as much fun as I possibly can. Because you know what? You never know when someone bad is going to happen.

43:28🔗 Drew Were you in the shadow of all that? Did you see it happen?

43:31🔗 Caller Well, we were.

43:32🔗 Caller We saw it from the roof of our hotel after we watched the news. We went up to the roof and you could see it all burning.

43:39🔗 Adam But Ozzy, it's not like you were leading a sober contemplative life of quiet reading before this. I mean, weren't you having fun?

43:47🔗 Drew You can't read.

43:47🔗 Adam I know. I'm saying you were having fun.

43:49🔗 Caller I'm not sober now. No, I'm not totally tree total now. Even now, it's more find you with my head down in a bottle of something I shouldn't be doing. And she goes, I'm not allowed to go back to jail. Do not collect $200.

44:01🔗 Adam I mean, you were having a good time before.

44:04🔗 Caller I mean, you've got to have a good time.

44:05🔗 Adam That's what I'm saying.

44:07🔗 Caller You know, what's the point? You know what? When you're dead, you're dead for a long years and a lot of years and nobody's ever come back and said, hey, you know what? It's really cool on the other side.

44:16🔗 Adam No, I wish someone would for Christ's sake. It would make us feel better, wouldn't it? I'm dying to hear that from somebody.

44:21🔗 Caller But you hear these people say that they saw this white light and they heard a voice say, go back. You know, I mean, I don't believe in all that baloney. I don't believe in ghosts.

44:32🔗 Adam I always fear that white.

44:33🔗 Caller I don't believe in ghosts. I don't believe in apparitions. I think people are the two stone or something's going on in their head, you know.

44:41🔗 Adam Right. Well, do you think you would go to hell if there was a hell?

44:44🔗 Caller I think that heaven, I mean, the 11th of September, if hell's worse than that, if there is a place called hell, I mean, I believe there's heaven and hell on this domain that we live in.

44:59🔗 Adam Right. This is it.

45:01🔗 Caller This is hell.

45:02🔗 Drew Hell since September 11th.

45:04🔗 Caller That's not hell. I got McDonald's around the corner, so that's a bit...

45:07🔗 Drew That's hell too.

45:10🔗 Caller With me, I like everything that's right. The greatest single achievement of my life. I've had platinum discs, Grammy Awards, Walk of Fame, all this. I haven't smoked a cigarette in seven months.

45:23🔗 Drew That's good.

45:24🔗 Caller And I was, I started smoking when I was 12. I was smoking for 40 years and don't ask me how I did that. If I believe there is a miracle, that is one.

45:39🔗 Well, I'll tell you what.

45:40🔗 Caller I prayed to God to get, to win tickets to go see you in Tucson. And I told him, if there is a God, I will quit smoking the next day. And I won the ticket to go see you in Tucson.

45:50🔗 Drew Wow.

45:51🔗 Caller Great, great.

45:52🔗 Caller You know what? I'm quitting smoking November 1st.

45:54🔗 Drew I'm going to quit tomorrow. You know what? I'm quitting next week.

45:58🔗 Caller You know what? When you're ready, if you're ready, you'll quit.

46:00🔗 Drew You gotta be ready. I agree with you.

46:02🔗 Adam That's right.

46:02🔗 Drew You got to be ready.

46:03🔗 Caller I mean, what happened with me? I had the patch, I had the hypnosis, I had the acupuncture, I had tried the gum and everything. Until one day I just went, you know what? This is the last damn cigarette I'm ever going to put in my mouth on the fire. And I haven't touched one since. And I didn't go through any crazy withdrawal. I didn't go, you know, because I was ready to quit. I was ready. It's kind of like, you know, you're not getting on with your partner anymore and you know the love's over, but you're sticking it out. And then all of a sudden, one day you go.

46:31🔗 Adam That's how me and Drew are.

46:32🔗 Drew Yeah, we keep sticking it out, though.

46:34🔗 Caller Yeah, but one day you'll say, you know what? I can't stand to be in another night with this person in my mouth. Right.

46:40🔗 Drew That could be tonight.

46:43🔗 Adam Hey, Alex, you're 17.

46:45🔗 Caller What's up?

46:47🔗 Caller I've been able to masturbate since I was eight. And I was just wondering if that would affect my sex drive.

46:53🔗 Drew In what way? I mean, what is your...

46:54🔗 Caller Well, just like, you know, when you're 40, you're supposed to be more sexually driven. And maybe that would come sooner or not at all.

47:01🔗 Drew You're going to use up your orgasms or something?

47:03🔗 Caller I don't know, because when I was younger, I used to masturbate at least twice a day for a long time. And now it's just like, it's not as often, like maybe once a week.

47:14🔗 Drew Are you on medication?

47:15🔗 Caller No.

47:16🔗 Drew And are you sexually active with somebody?

47:19🔗 Caller No, I've never had sex.

47:22🔗 Drew And you weren't sexually abused or anything sort of set you on a trajectory of excessive masturbation for a while?

47:27🔗 Caller I don't think so.

47:29🔗 Drew Was there anything crazy going on in your house? Anything sort of over arousing, stimulating? You know, was there a lot of chaos or family breaking apart or anything?

47:37🔗 Caller Not at all. I just found myself very like, I don't know, I just fantasized a lot.

47:43🔗 Adam Did you have an orgasm when you were eight?

47:45🔗 Caller Oh, yeah.

47:45🔗 Adam Really?

47:46🔗 Caller Heck, yeah.

47:47🔗 Adam She's, how did you finish the third grade? I mean, I would have been...

47:51🔗 Caller If that was me at eight, I would have been still in the room. I would never have gone out.

47:55🔗 Adam Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

47:55🔗 Caller When I found out what it was about, I thought, I've discovered magic.

48:00🔗 Adam Your magic wand.

48:02🔗 Magic wand makes my penis grow.

48:05🔗 Adam All right, Alex, you're fine. Don't worry.

48:08🔗 Caller Don't worry about it.

48:08🔗 Caller It's normal.

48:09🔗 Caller Adam, if you went to my high school, I'd definitely give you a B there.

48:15🔗 Caller Why? What is that? You missed. I'm deaf. What was that?

48:18🔗 Adam She'd give me a BJ, a blowjob if I went.

48:22🔗 Caller What do you want to do that for? You don't even know the guy.

48:25🔗 Drew Really? Something happened now.

48:26🔗 Caller You know me better.

48:27🔗 Caller All right.

48:29🔗 Adam Well, it'd be an honor.

48:31🔗 Caller I think she's a little bit sick.

48:32🔗 Caller Oh, you.

48:32🔗 Adam I see. We're going to take ourselves a little break. The great Ozzy Osbourne is here tonight. His beautiful wife, Sharon, who who reminds me of Ariana Huffington, a little younger, you know, she reminds me of when she takes off of, you know.

48:49🔗 Caller What you are the weakest link. The woman.

48:52🔗 Adam Oh, yeah.

48:53🔗 Caller How mean is that?

48:55🔗 Adam But no, that's not bad.

48:56🔗 Caller I think that woman is I think she's great. Yeah, everybody, everybody hates her. And I love her.

49:02🔗 Drew She's great.

49:02🔗 Adam She's attractive.

49:03🔗 Caller You are the weakest link.

49:04🔗 Adam Goodbye. She's attractive in an androgynous way. I think Sharon has a much more feminine angle than that.

49:09🔗 Caller But she's got, and also she's got my nuts in her hand as we speak.

49:12🔗 Drew Well, that's the part you're sort of picking up on, the weakest link part. Yeah. You're the weakest link.

49:17🔗 Adam Drew's got to hit my nuts in his hand too.

49:19🔗 Drew That's right.

49:20🔗 Adam Let's take ourselves a little break. We'll be back with more Sharon, more Ozzy, more you all after this. Oh, do I like those guys? I like Peter Gallagher because I feel like we have a certain kinship with the huge brows.

50:03🔗 Drew Oh, yeah.

50:03🔗 Adam He's got a huge brow.

50:05🔗 Drew And a little bit of a raise in the hair, a little bit of the scruff, a little bit, his hair is up like yours, yeah.

50:11🔗 Adam Mine's up? Yeah. He doesn't have the brillo hair.

50:13🔗 Drew No brillo hair, but his sort of...

50:14🔗 Adam No, no, no, no, no, no, just focus on the brow. That's where the kindred spirit comes in. All right. So coming up, we got george Lopez and Tommy Lean. Of course, that means next. Drew, who?

50:27🔗 Drew george Lopez. He really breaks it down.

50:30🔗 Adam george Lopez is our guest tonight. The name of his show, The george Lopez Show, ABC. And let's get into some more calls here. Audrey?

50:39🔗 Caller Yes.

50:39🔗 Adam You're 29?

50:40🔗 Caller Yes.

50:41🔗 Adam What's up?

50:42🔗 Caller Hello. Hi, george.

50:43🔗 Caller What's up, Audrey?

50:45🔗 Caller I want to tell you, I saw you when you came to Fresno.

50:47🔗 Caller You did at the Saroyan Theater out there?

50:49🔗 Caller No, it was the Tower Theater.

50:51🔗 Caller Oh, the Tower Theater, yeah. That was great. I love Fresno. The mother country, I think, for all Chicanos.

50:57🔗 Adam Fresno, really?

50:58🔗 Caller Fresno. See the Chavez.

51:00🔗 Adam That's where all the migrant farm workers go, right?

51:04🔗 Caller If they didn't do it, who would?

51:06🔗 Caller There you go.

51:07🔗 Adam White guys for like $40 an hour?

51:11🔗 That's right.

51:13🔗 Adam People say that head of lettuce would cost you like $28. I'm like, well, you know, for a white guy picked it. You gotta pay a little extra, you know?

51:21🔗 Caller Yeah, if they picked it, they'd probably just pick enough for them, like seven in the midleaf.

51:25🔗 Adam Oh, you don't eat the stuff you pick?

51:27🔗 Caller No.

51:27🔗 Adam Oh, you put it in a basket or something? Oh, screw that. No way. No way. All right, Audrey, what's up?

51:34🔗 Caller Okay.

51:35🔗 Caller Last night, me and, I'll call my boyfriend. We were having sex and we were doing it doggy style. And it sounded like air was coming out of my vagina.

51:46🔗 Drew That would be air.

51:48🔗 Caller Okay.

51:48🔗 Caller But I want to tell like why?

51:52🔗 Drew Because he was pushing air in.

51:53🔗 Caller He was pushing air in.

51:56🔗 Adam Yeah.

51:56🔗 Caller Okay.

51:57🔗 Adam You know, when you take your hand and you cup it and you put it under your armpit and you start flapping your arm.

52:02🔗 Drew Makes that farting noise?

52:05🔗 Caller I can't make that noise, though.

52:06🔗 Adam No.

52:06🔗 Drew Well, you can't there in your arm, but you can where you're right at it.

52:10🔗 Adam Same thing. Yeah. Well, why do you think it was making the sound?

52:17🔗 Caller Well, that's what I thought, but I mean, it's like never.

52:19🔗 Drew She's finally, she's deflating.

52:22🔗 Adam Yeah. Why don't you, you're going to have to eat a can of Fix-A-Flat. Or you spray it right up the coos, Drew. What do you do with that?

52:29🔗 Drew Well, either way.

52:30🔗 Adam Oh, either way. It's right on, there's a picture right on the canister there. You can work that out. All right there, baby.

52:36🔗 Caller So that's what it was. That's what, it's air, yeah.

52:38🔗 Adam It's pushing air in there.

52:39🔗 Caller It's embarrassing, isn't it?

52:41🔗 Drew It has a name even.

52:42🔗 Caller Were you embarrassed?

52:43🔗 Caller No, I wasn't embarrassed.

52:45🔗 Adam Oh, okay.

52:45🔗 Caller I mean, we were laughing, but I wasn't embarrassed.

52:48🔗 Drew That's the real comedy, that the more you laugh, the more it comes out.

52:51🔗 Adam Yeah.

52:53🔗 Caller And when you laugh, the rhythm of your laugh, the air comes out in that same rhythm.

52:56🔗 Adam And it always throws you off because you got that game face on. You're like, yeah, baby, I'm gonna give it to you good.

53:02🔗 I'm gonna...

53:06🔗 Adam Okay, baby. Yeah. Hold still there. And I'm gonna, I'm gonna work you, baby. I'm gonna work. You're gonna forget you're ever with another... All right, hold on. Now, wait a minute. I'm losing my right. Now listen, mama. I'm telling you, I don't do a lot of things well, but one thing I do is I know how to please... Okay, all right, so we gotta stop. This is too...

53:29🔗 Caller I can't focus anymore.

53:32🔗 Adam It's tough to have the game face on and be hearing the whoopee vagina in the background.

53:37🔗 Caller That's right. You're right.

53:39🔗 Caller Yeah.

53:39🔗 Adam It's just, you lose it immediately. And there's some about laughing.

53:42🔗 Drew You start cracking up, right?

53:43🔗 Adam Yeah, some about laughing and sex that don't work right together.

53:47🔗 Caller The mood is done.

53:49🔗 Adam Yeah, like...

53:49🔗 Caller Especially you try to be candlelight and you end up blowing the farts end up blowing the candles in the room.

53:55🔗 Adam Are you here? Are you still in the room, honey? Queef once if you're in the room. Queef twice if you can find the door. Yeah. It ruins it. And the thing that's funny too is both people have pretend like they didn't hear the first one. You know what I mean? There's just be that little beat like, oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah, but the second, third one now you gotta talk about it. It's out in the open.

54:29🔗 Caller Yeah.

54:31🔗 Caller What does that word come from? Is that a medical term?

54:33🔗 Drew No, it's not a medical term, but I think women can sort of laugh along with it a little more than men. Men, the laughter doesn't go at all. No, no, no, no, no. You can't laugh at me. We can't laugh while this is going on. It's serious business.

54:45🔗 Adam Right.

54:45🔗 Drew And women can kind of laugh, you know?

54:47🔗 Adam Right.

54:47🔗 Drew And they get kind of angry with you too and you don't want to like break the rhythm and laugh with that.

54:51🔗 Adam Right. But again, it's that sexual game face you have.

54:55🔗 Drew It's a guy thing. Right.

54:57🔗 Adam Rob?

54:59🔗 Hello?

55:00🔗 Adam You're 26?

55:02🔗 Caller Yeah.

55:02🔗 Adam What's up?

55:03🔗 Caller I just found out my girlfriend, been going out with her for about 10 months. She told me recently that she had a threesome with two other guys. Right before we started going out. And, you know, needless to say, that's a little bit of a shock because it's a very sharp contrast to who I thought she was.

55:25🔗 Adam Why did she tell you?

55:27🔗 Caller Well, you know, we were in bed afterwards and just kind of talking and I just kind of... she had said something a few weeks earlier that didn't kind of click with me about some of her previous boyfriends and I was, long story short, just kind of basically kept asking and then kept asking. I knew she was keeping something but I wasn't sure what it was.

55:49🔗 Drew So this is after an intimate moment you just start hammering her for history.

55:53🔗 Caller Not hammering, you know, we're just kind of in bed talking and, you know, and...

55:58🔗 Drew Where does the I kept asking her and kept asking her come in? Because that's hammering sometimes.

56:03🔗 Caller All right, well, what she had said was she had only been out with, she had only been out with four guys. Yeah. And that she...

56:09🔗 Adam But it was all at once.

56:10🔗 Caller Right. One night.

56:11🔗 Adam Four guys.

56:14🔗 Drew Was this something she chose to do or was it forced upon her?

56:17🔗 Caller What it was from what she has told me since then, we've talked about it a few times.

56:21🔗 Drew No kidding.

56:22🔗 Caller Is that she had this boyfriend that she'd been going out with for about four months that it was strictly a sexual relationship. And he basically talked her into it.

56:33🔗 Adam All right.

56:33🔗 Caller And she didn't really want to do it, but she's the kind of person that she doesn't really like conflict.

56:39🔗 Adam Yeah. She's a yes person.

56:41🔗 Drew She's a codependent.

56:42🔗 Caller Yeah. And she just kept, you know, he kept on her for about three weeks.

56:46🔗 Drew If you listen to this show, you hear women getting talked into that kind of stuff all the time. Now, listen, not because they're in a relationship that's just sexual, it's because they think they're going to capture a guy, keep a guy, keep him happy, which is a load of crap.

56:56🔗 Adam All right. But Rob, has this been a deal breaker for you now?

57:01🔗 Caller It's like teetering on the edge because, you know, the truth of the matter is I have very strong feelings for her.

57:06🔗 Drew Well, then you need to deal with this. This is not, this has nothing to do with her. Nothing. She has told you her history and you can either deal with it or you can't. She doesn't have to make amends, she doesn't owe you anything. You either deal with it or not, right? What's she going to do with this? I get the sense you're expecting her to like correct this or make amends for it. No, you deal with it.

57:27🔗 Adam Is there some class she could go to or some chalkboard she could ride on a hundred times?

57:32🔗 Caller My thing is how do I deal with this is the reason why I'm calling it.

57:36🔗 Drew You either got to let go or not. And if you can't let go of this, if she is not somebody you care about.

57:40🔗 Adam Yeah, but hold on a second, Drew. He's 26. You guys, Drew, think back to the 50s when you were 26. To the mid 50s, early 60s, late 50s, early 60s when you were 26 years old. Remember how much this stuff used to bother you, george? All guys, and I don't know what's worse being 18 or 26. I look back on my dating career and at 26, this may have bugged me more than if I was like 19 or something.

58:09🔗 Drew Let's examine it. Why? Why would it bug you so much?

58:13🔗 Adam It's like testosterone production meets sort of lack of personal self-esteem, meets sort of retarded machismo.

58:22🔗 Drew Now, for sure, you talk about any of your girlfriend's previous sexual partners, your testosterone, your machismo, all that kicks in. But what is it about that self-esteem in this one that's so troubling?

58:32🔗 Adam In this particular issue or in general?

58:34🔗 Drew In this issue for yourself, if you were 26.

58:36🔗 Adam Well, because everybody, your self-esteem is so precariously balanced at 26, Rob's probably is, that other people can affect you. Right. So if your girlfriend is a slut or if your girlfriend engages in this behavior, then somehow she's going to take you down.

58:54🔗 Drew Okay.

58:54🔗 Adam So you're now with a person who would act this way.

58:56🔗 Drew You can't contain her.

58:57🔗 Adam And that hurts your stock.

58:58🔗 Caller You can't.

58:59🔗 Drew Not only that's what you couldn't contain her, she might spiral out of control in a way that you couldn't keep up with.

59:04🔗 Adam I don't think it's about what may happen in the future. It's more about you thought you got yourself a car that had low mileage, and it turns out they pulled the pink on it, it had been pulled out of a river, and it had been wrapped around the five feet.

59:18🔗 Caller It's kind of odd that right after they were together, that this kind of discussion would happen.

59:23🔗 Adam Right.

59:23🔗 Drew Looking for trouble.

59:24🔗 Caller You know, it's almost like right up there with, am I the biggest guy you've ever been with, that question.

59:27🔗 Drew Yeah. Stupid question. I agree with you.

59:29🔗 Adam But you asked those stupid, how many stupid ones did you ask between the ages of 18 and 30?

59:34🔗 Drew Infinite numbers. But listen, there's also the one upmanship thing to the bothers guys that age, because this is akin to how many people you slept with.

59:43🔗 Adam Yeah.

59:44🔗 Drew And in your head, and you've got your number and she can't exceed that number.

59:47🔗 Adam Right.

59:47🔗 Drew Right. And they certainly can't exceed your number. Now she blows them out of the water with this. Right?

59:52🔗 Adam Right.

59:53🔗 Drew And that, but that's a craziness on men's part.

59:55🔗 Adam I know, but that's the way we're constructed. And at 26, it's hard just to shut that off. Rob? Yeah. We know what you're going through. And we feel for you. But here's the deal. If you can, if you're really in love with her. And this is the person. You just let go. And the testosterone production decreases.

1:00:17🔗 Drew About 15 more years.

1:00:19🔗 Adam And you start growing breasts. And it's hard to get you off of the sofa. And you can no longer achieve an erection. And you have a very limited facial hair. And then you just sit home waiting to die, like we do. And you don't care. You walk in.

1:00:32🔗 Caller One thing that I've learned is you don't ask questions you don't want to know the answer to.

1:00:35🔗 Drew Absolutely.

1:00:35🔗 Caller That's true. That's number one. That's the most important thing right there.

1:00:39🔗 Drew Adam has a good saying about this.

1:00:41🔗 Adam Less history, more mystery.

1:00:44🔗 Caller Absolutely. I love that.

1:00:46🔗 Adam I wish I'm now at the point that if I start dating someone, I don't even talk to them. They go, what are you going to order? And I point my elbow at the menu. And they go, the brisket.

1:00:56🔗 Caller And I go, hmm, hmm, hmm.

1:00:58🔗 Adam No, down. Well, the appetizer, hmm, hmm. And when they open their mouth, like even if they're yawning, I run out of the room. I just start. I plug my ears and I sing the Pledge of Allegiance.

1:01:11🔗 Caller Yeah, that's a tough one.

1:01:12🔗 Adam Don't get into it, then.

1:01:14🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:01:15🔗 Adam What's up?

1:01:16🔗 Caller Oh, I was, uh, need to call and talk to Mr. Dr. Drew about a thing I heard on the show a couple of weeks ago. He's talking about seeing stuff a couple of months after coming down off Dope.

1:01:27🔗 Drew Off which Dope? What kind of Dope?

1:01:29🔗 Caller Crank.

1:01:30🔗 Drew And what kind of stuff you're seeing?

1:01:33🔗 Caller Just these stuff that's not there, trails.

1:01:36🔗 Adam Hold on. You're seeing things that aren't there? Well, Drew, what is the phenomenon of seeing things that are actually there? Is that just eyesight?

1:01:43🔗 Drew Well, the things that aren't there go away. And then you find out they're not there.

1:01:47🔗 Adam But what if you see things that are there?

1:01:49🔗 Drew That's a good thing.

1:01:50🔗 Adam Oh, that's good.

1:01:50🔗 Drew That's normal.

1:01:51🔗 Adam All right. I got that.

1:01:52🔗 Drew But Ben, did you do a bunch of acid, too?

1:01:56🔗 Caller Not really.

1:01:57🔗 Drew Not really. How much did you do?

1:01:59🔗 Caller Five or six times.

1:02:00🔗 Drew All right. Because the trailer is not part of methamphetamine, typically, okay? That's more of a hallucinogen thing.

1:02:07🔗 Caller Well, it's not really like when I'm driving down the road.

1:02:10🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:02:10🔗 Caller I see taillights.

1:02:12🔗 Caller And it's real, like underneath the car.

1:02:13🔗 Caller And I just look around and I see still see the taillights and a lot of times if I'm out looking through the woods in my bedroom or looking out the window, you know, I'll see people off in the woods.

1:02:25🔗 Drew All right. Well, that's all part of speed for sure. And in fact, that's even more...

1:02:28🔗 Adam Those are, by the way, called white supremacists.

1:02:30🔗 Drew And those in the woods don't even freak them out.

1:02:33🔗 Adam They have underground tunnels nearby.

1:02:35🔗 Drew More typical. Well, these guys, did you see like people in uniforms out in the woods?

1:02:40🔗 Caller No, no.

1:02:41🔗 Drew Just people.

1:02:41🔗 Caller Just movement? The kind of movement?

1:02:43🔗 Caller Yeah, movement and...

1:02:44🔗 Drew Yeah, because...

1:02:45🔗 Caller There's all kinds of stuff. I go out looking.

1:02:48🔗 Caller Let's get into focusing.

1:02:49🔗 Adam I'm putting him on hold because he's all over the place.

1:02:51🔗 Drew The cocaine will cause you to see people in uniforms. The cocaine addicts always look out the window. Really? Let's see. FBI, SWAT, police. They're paranoid about that and they are alone. Speed addicts are bringing people around them, including the police to protect them against some unknown foe. They get severely paranoid. The paranoia list lasts for months sometimes. Some of what Ben is describing there is a kind of looking behind him or seeing things flash by that will go on for quite some time. But the important thing here, Ben, is that you get off the drug and that's going to require treatment. It's going to require many, many weeks of treatment.

1:03:23🔗 Caller Now, I'm 40 years old and I don't remember crank. What's the equivalent of crank? Oh, just like whites and stuff?

1:03:30🔗 Drew Yeah, whites.

1:03:30🔗 Caller Black beauties.

1:03:31🔗 Drew That's all that. Now, it's sort of they smoke it or snort and stuff. And do you want to talk about anything, george?

1:03:39🔗 Caller Any more? Any more? I got a great story about this wedding reception that a black beauty fell in this drink. I was a bartender and I had it in my pocket. Really? And I leaned over to get some ice and it fell in the drink apparently. And the guy goes, let me have it. And I looked at my pocket and it was gone. And I said, Oh my God, it must have fell in the drink. And there was this old lady that was doing dancing with every guy there and doing the splits. And we finally deducted that it was her drink that it fell in.

1:04:03🔗 Drew She had a stroke after, is that true?

1:04:04🔗 Caller Her seven and seven.

1:04:05🔗 Drew Oh my God.

1:04:06🔗 Adam I miss black beauty. Is that around anymore?

1:04:09🔗 Drew Cross tops, black beauties, remember all that?

1:04:11🔗 Adam You know what I was thinking about? I don't know why I triggered this, but when george said he was 40, I was watching like Entertainment Tonight and John Schneider from the Dukes of Hazzard. You know, they do the celebrity birthdays. It's always some novelty celebrities. John Schneider from Dukes of Hazzard, 42. Okay, today. All right, now that's what they said on 18. Now I'm thinking, wait a minute, I'm going to be 38 in about a month, month and a half. So essentially John Schneider is four years older than me.

1:04:43🔗 Drew Was he 16 when you were watching Dukes of Hazzard?

1:04:45🔗 Adam When I was beating off, babysitting, watching Dukes of Hazzard on Friday night, he was a couple years older than I was?

1:04:52🔗 Caller No.

1:04:53🔗 Caller You were beating off to him though, right?

1:04:55🔗 Adam Mostly Daisy, but I didn't control the editing. Sometimes he'd pop in or the General Lee would, you know, go through the scene.

1:05:02🔗 Caller It's worse to be beating off, watching Dukes of Hazzard and Cooter walk in, you know.

1:05:06🔗 Adam Yeah, Cooter was the drunk mechanic. Drew, you don't know that, do you?

1:05:11🔗 Drew No.

1:05:12🔗 Adam Cooter was great.

1:05:13🔗 Drew Anyway, Ben, you gotta find some place to get treatment. This is a serious issue. One of the things we're learning about speed, people use it more than really a few months. They get permanent memory problems, often long-term mood disturbances, much like just a few exposures to ecstasy.

1:05:28🔗 Adam Yeah. Maybe he turned 44. I swear it was 42. It was four years older than me. I was going nuts.

1:05:34🔗 Drew It's impossible.

1:05:35🔗 Adam george, you can't be two years older than him.

1:05:37🔗 Caller Absolutely not. He's gotta be 50 years old.

1:05:38🔗 Drew Yeah, has to be.

1:05:40🔗 Adam Well, he could have been doing Dukes of Hazzard when he was 19.

1:05:42🔗 Caller I don't know, man.

1:05:43🔗 Adam And you were 15 or something or whatever you were. All right.

1:05:48🔗 Caller I gotta wait for Eric Estrada's birthday and see how old he is.

1:05:51🔗 Caller Eric Estrada, 39.

1:05:54🔗 Adam Oh, so I guess their publicist just releases that stuff. All right.

1:05:58🔗 Caller No one's a real age, you know that. And they're real weight and all that other stuff.

1:06:02🔗 Adam Carl? You're 22. What's up?

1:06:05🔗 Caller Well, first of all, george Lopez, you are a funny man.

1:06:08🔗 Caller I saw you a couple of times up at the Ice House.

1:06:10🔗 Caller Your stand up was incredible.

1:06:11🔗 Caller All right on, brother. Thank you.

1:06:13🔗 Caller And your fan following is something else. I mean, the Ice House sometimes is packed and then your lines were back maybe around the alley. It was incredible.

1:06:22🔗 Caller That's 20 years of hammering it out.

1:06:24🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:06:24🔗 Caller One person at a time. I'm like the Dave Thomas of comedy. One burger at a time.

1:06:29🔗 Caller Well, congrats on the show. He's dead, so. Well deserved.

1:06:31🔗 Caller Watch it.

1:06:36🔗 Caller Thank you, brother. What's your dysfunction?

1:06:39🔗 Caller Well, mine, I'm wondering about my girlfriend. Dr. Drew, you said something that generally I think would be true for everybody, that girls would use a three way to secure a guy that they feel iffy about. But three weeks ago, after two and a half years of a relationship, my girlfriend and I had a three way out of.

1:06:56🔗 Drew Well, they also use it to sabotage.

1:06:58🔗 Adam Oh, they always use it to sabotage. They don't secure anything.

1:07:02🔗 Caller That's what happened a week later. Actually, a week ago, she's gone.

1:07:07🔗 Drew If it was her idea, it's absolutely a sabotage. Absolutely.

1:07:10🔗 Adam She's, even if it wasn't, she's a chaotic person.

1:07:14🔗 Caller Tell you, let's have a three way to get rid of you?

1:07:16🔗 Drew No, they go, without realizing it consciously that they start feeling, I'm bored. I need something more in this relationship. Let's have a threesome. And really, what will always happen from that is, I'm gonna get pissed off and jealous, and it's gonna feel wrong, and I'm gonna get out of here. It's a way to get pissed off with your boyfriend.

1:07:33🔗 Adam It's sabotage.

1:07:34🔗 Drew It's sabotage.

1:07:35🔗 Caller She loved it, but that makes sense, though, because, I mean, her reason for wanting to leave was suddenly I became boring.

1:07:42🔗 Drew Right.

1:07:42🔗 Caller And she felt that there was more to life out there.

1:07:46🔗 Adam Who was the other dude? No, it was a chick? Yeah. Where'd you find her? Her best friend. Her best friend. Oh, oh, oh, oh. Did you like her? Did you know her?

1:07:54🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:07:55🔗 Adam Were you turned on by her?

1:07:58🔗 Caller It was fantastic. I thought our relationship was up for some good time.

1:08:03🔗 Adam And did you have sex with the friend too?

1:08:06🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:08:07🔗 Adam You did?

1:08:08🔗 Caller Yeah. I mean, she requested it.

1:08:10🔗 Adam Yeah. Because this is all out sabotage.

1:08:14🔗 Drew Yeah. Full fledged.

1:08:16🔗 Adam And that is-

1:08:17🔗 Drew It's also addict behavior.

1:08:18🔗 Adam Where was she when you were having intercourse with her best friend?

1:08:22🔗 Caller With her best friend.

1:08:24🔗 Adam Oh, like sucking on her boobs or something?

1:08:29🔗 Caller Her best friend was working the other end. Of her.

1:08:33🔗 Adam Oh, it was her?

1:08:34🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:08:35🔗 Adam Jesus Christ.

1:08:36🔗 Caller We're all involved.

1:08:37🔗 Adam Oh, my God. You know, I'm going to be- John Steiner is going to be 42 today. And I'm going to be 38 in a few months. And I've never been involved with that. It really makes me angry because I'm a big, big star. Just to really sink the nail in a cough. What do you do for a living?

1:08:56🔗 Caller I'm an actor.

1:08:58🔗 Adam Yeah. But you're out of work, right?

1:08:59🔗 Caller Right.

1:08:59🔗 Adam Of course. Oh, man. So what do you really do for a living?

1:09:03🔗 Caller I sell tickets for theater.

1:09:05🔗 Adam There you go. You sell tickets and you're getting through some-

1:09:08🔗 Caller At what point do you just take the experience and the memory and then move on?

1:09:12🔗 Caller Well, I guess that's what I have to do.

1:09:14🔗 Adam Was she an actress?

1:09:15🔗 Caller That's heartbreaking.

1:09:16🔗 Adam Was she an actress too? Was she an actress? Yeah. So she was pretty hot, right?

1:09:21🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:09:22🔗 Adam But crazy because all actresses are insane.

1:09:24🔗 Caller That's what I, you know.

1:09:26🔗 Drew And Carl, this is, addicts behave like this too. So is she an alcoholic or something?

1:09:32🔗 Caller No. It runs in the family.

1:09:34🔗 Drew Well, she's got the gene. This is what my addict patients all do. This is how they get out of stuff.

1:09:41🔗 Adam How hot was her friend?

1:09:43🔗 Caller They're both California girls. Good times.

1:09:48🔗 Adam I'm surprised he's not working as an actor. He's a Mr. Personality over there.

1:09:52🔗 Caller I don't feel bad for the guy, though, at all.

1:09:55🔗 Caller I hope you guys have kind of pissed off.

1:09:57🔗 Adam Well, I mean, talk about it.

1:09:58🔗 Drew The poor guy wants to talk about how it's hurt him. You guys are like, get out of here.

1:10:01🔗 All right.

1:10:03🔗 Drew The more he describes the women, the more dismissive you guys are.

1:10:04🔗 Adam I don't like to hear him nailing hot chicks.

1:10:07🔗 Drew I know that.

1:10:08🔗 Adam But it's not paid his dues.

1:10:10🔗 Drew Hey, this is part of that.

1:10:11🔗 Adam This is like when little Bow Wow gets a three-picture deal. I'm angry. You understand?

1:10:16🔗 Drew This is painful for him. This is not good for him. We could explore why he's involved with addicts and why he gets into that.

1:10:23🔗 Adam He's 22. She's an actress. She was hot. He jumped in on that. You know what else is going on today? That I really miss the boat on and these days and you guys have missed it as well, which is there's women who want to experiment with their friends sexually, but they don't want to admit that they're having lesbian feelings. So they say, let's have a threesome. So now they get to sexually experiment on their best friend or some chick they're hot for in the office. Meanwhile, if you're the guy who's lucky enough to be sort of the shill beard penis in this threesome, you get to service both of them, but you're just there so it's not a lesbian experience. It's a threesome. Do you know what I'm saying?

1:11:14🔗 Drew Yeah, to sort of legitimize it.

1:11:17🔗 Adam Here's a chick who probably wanted out of this relationship, but probably wanted a shot at her hot actress friend.

1:11:24🔗 Drew It's a little different than that. This is not that.

1:11:27🔗 Adam How dare you crap on my hypotheses.

1:11:29🔗 Drew But people that are friends with benefit relationships, which is another thing we missed out on, will get into this stuff all the time.

1:11:36🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:11:36🔗 Drew When they really are invested emotionally in their relationship with the male, he just is used as some sort of a-

1:11:41🔗 Adam No, but it's also, I'm saying that it's an easy way for her to get in on her friend by saying, you up for threesome? Right. Then once the juices get flowing, she just starts moving into whatever lesbian act she's into. Oh my God. We'll take a break. We'll be right back.

1:12:02🔗 Caller Thank you for calling Loveline.

1:12:04🔗 Caller Your call will be answered in the order it seems interesting.

1:12:22🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:12:24🔗 Adam Loveline, the best of Loveline. That is the best of the best of Loveline. Just belched up more garlic for each other.

1:12:29🔗 Drew Sorry, buddy. Jimmy again. All right.

1:12:30🔗 Adam I want to thank so far, george Lopez, Peter Gallagher, Destiny's Child, Ozzy Osbourne. And now we welcome the sweeter. People don't know how sweet the guy is, this guy. Am I right?

1:12:44🔗 Drew Childlike.

1:12:45🔗 Adam People come in here all the time, you kind of get a gauge for what kind of people they are. Tommy Lee gets a bad rap a lot of time, but a sweet guy, a nice guy. He's a little Peter Pan. Peter Pan with a tattoo and some aggressive piercings. All right. So enjoy Tommy Lee. Medicine specialist Tommy Lee is our guest tonight. Good to see you, Tommy.

1:13:02🔗 Best Of Good to see you guys. How are you guys doing?

1:13:05🔗 Adam Good.

1:13:06🔗 Drew Healthy.

1:13:07🔗 Adam Yeah, he doesn't smell healthy, but he looks, he smells like beer and cigarettes, like a tapioca pudding, but he looks good. Are those there? Well, he looks good. I think that's just good genes, though. I don't think that's good living, Drew.

1:13:22🔗 Best Of I'm taking care of myself.

1:13:23🔗 Are you?

1:13:24🔗 Adam Well, in that case, you look good.

1:13:26🔗 Best Of Thanks.

1:13:27🔗 Adam Tommy, I was thinking about, everybody likes Tommy Lee and don't take this wrong, but there's a lot of reasons not to like Tommy Lee yet. Everyone likes him anyway. I mean, if you just watch the news, you could come up with some reasons why Tommy Lee wouldn't be your favorite guy. I know that sounds bad, but what I mean is, it sounds bad. No, I'm getting to a compliment here. Here's what I'm saying.

1:13:51🔗 Drew How likable Tommy is no matter what.

1:13:54🔗 Adam If you don't know Tommy Lee, if you've never met Tommy Lee, if you hear the stories about snorting ants with Ozzy Osbourne and mainlining Jack Daniels, you hear the stories, you hear the divorces, you hear the allegations, you see the court, this and that, you hear all the stories. And this would be if this guy was some drummer in some other band, you'd be like, who is this guy? This guy's vermin, this guy's trash. But Tommy Lee is an incredibly likable guy and it seems to come across. And I think people know it. I mean, I talk to people. People say people don't know you other than from what they see on TV. They say, well, who's coming on the show tonight? And I say Tommy Lee and they go, oh, I hear he's a nice guy. He's a good guy. He's a good guy. People say he's a good guy. I'm like, you don't know him. No, I hear everyone says he's a good guy. And Drew, we always talk about how people sort of earn their reputation.

1:14:56🔗 Drew They get what they deserve.

1:14:58🔗 Adam Yeah. Yeah. And Tommy is one of the good guys. I mean, I just, you just, I don't think it's an act. I think you're an energetic guy who enjoys life. I like people. And you like people that comes across.

1:15:10🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:15:10🔗 Adam And you like a lot of things. And sometimes maybe get into trouble. But I think the part about you being a good guy and liking people sort of trumps whatever trouble you might get into from time to time.

1:15:21🔗 Caller And this is true.

1:15:22🔗 Adam All right. So, and he has a good energy. And Drew, you, we would walk away and say, oh, Tommy Lee, sweetheart, nice guy.

1:15:28🔗 Drew And we walk away.

1:15:28🔗 Caller He was really sweet.

1:15:29🔗 Adam Let me drive his Testarossa one night.

1:15:32🔗 Drew We walk away and say a lot of stuff.

1:15:33🔗 Adam It was a lot of stuff. We talk a lot of smack about the guests on this show. But Tommy, nice guy, let me drive his Testarossa.

1:15:40🔗 Drew Oh, that's where your love affair started, I guess.

1:15:42🔗 Adam Right. I'll tell you where my love affair with Tommy really started is I was staring at his $100,000 car. And I was like, 200,000, 200,000 Ferrari, Ferrari Testarossa. Well, I was given some for depreciation, but he put a lot into it. But I was looking at his car and I was going, you know, I'm a big car guy. And I was going, wow, Ferrari Testarossa got the flat 12 and it's a boxer engine in it and all sorts of crap. And I go, what year is this thing? And he goes, I don't know. I don't know.

1:16:09🔗 Best Of I don't know.

1:16:12🔗 Adam And I thought, wow, you know, you've arrived. You know, you've arrived when you don't know what year your Ferrari is and it's your grocery getter.

1:16:21🔗 Best Of That was fun. And didn't you just scrape the hell out of my front end on the driveway out of here?

1:16:27🔗 Adam Did about $6,500.

1:16:29🔗 Best Of That was with the damage.

1:16:30🔗 Adam Coming out of the driveway, yeah. You still have that car?

1:16:33🔗 Best Of Yeah, I do.

1:16:35🔗 Adam But it's not, you're not driving it every day.

1:16:37🔗 Best Of No, no. What a life.

1:16:39🔗 Drew It's everyday cars coming in time.

1:16:40🔗 Best Of You know, I was on Coldwater Canyon.

1:16:44🔗 Caller Right.

1:16:45🔗 Best Of And you know where Coldwater on the Hollywood side? Right. Sort of these to one lane going up and over the hill.

1:16:52🔗 Adam Yeah, as it, for those of you-

1:16:54🔗 Drew North Hollywood side.

1:16:56🔗 Adam Around the country. Well, it does it on both sides. It goes into one as you approach Mulholland. Up there, that famed stretch of Mulholland.

1:17:04🔗 Best Of Yes.

1:17:04🔗 Adam Yeah. So came in, it, it veered into one.

1:17:07🔗 Best Of Yeah, veered into one. And it's about 2 a.m. I'm, this is like two years ago. This is how long my car has been in body service hell. Right. Yeah, that long for parts and restoration, all stuff. We're going. And I look over and there's some guy like in a Honda Civic or something. He's like trying to be Johnny Hot Sausage, trying to race me. I don't know what he's doing. He's like, boom, boom.

1:17:34🔗 Adam That was me.

1:17:34🔗 Best Of And was it you?

1:17:35🔗 Adam Yeah, I got, I got, I got, I got a clean with you.

1:17:37🔗 Best Of You bastard. He, he starts to race and I'm thinking, OK, well, and I'm at that point where I'm looking ahead and I'm like, well, it's we're going to merge now to one lane and he's not quite in front of me. So I punch it and I hit like it's you ever see like the trails of water that are on the canyon, like some sprinklers are leaking or some.

1:17:59🔗 Adam Yeah, they just they just come just a trail comes right across the canyon on the slick cement.

1:18:03🔗 Best Of Yeah, and it's perfect like right on all the curves.

1:18:05🔗 Adam Right.

1:18:06🔗 Drew You hit that.

1:18:06🔗 Best Of So I hit that like with my foot in the throttle and the car just does like a way and I'm trying to correct because I've been to racing school. So I kind of know what I'm doing.

1:18:16🔗 Adam But you weren't drunk when you were at racing school, to be fair.

1:18:19🔗 Best Of No, but in this night, totally sober.

1:18:21🔗 Adam Wow.

1:18:22🔗 Best Of Coming back from the studio, I'm on probation, drug and alcohol testing. Full on sober.

1:18:27🔗 Drew You have to blow in the thing to start the testosterone.

1:18:29🔗 Best Of Yeah. Special probation requests. So I lose total control of the car, smash the testosterone into and the curbs on that rail high. So it took both right front and rear tires, bent them, bent the wheels, smashed $40,000 worth of damage for just a little spin out. And the dude who went past me saw, goes by, didn't stop, nothing. I was like, so that car has been in, it's still in the body shop two years later for parts.

1:19:04🔗 Adam That's the beauty of Ferraris.

1:19:06🔗 Best Of So that car you drove is now sitting in a body shop.

1:19:09🔗 Adam If you want me to go down there and crack the whip, tell them I need to drive it again. I'll put a phone call in.

1:19:14🔗 Best Of Okay.

1:19:14🔗 Adam Where is it, Bruno's in Van Nuys or something?

1:19:18🔗 Drew Homes Auto Body. All right.

1:19:21🔗 Adam Well, Homes, get it together.

1:19:23🔗 Best Of No, in Woodland Hills.

1:19:27🔗 Adam Joe?

1:19:28🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:19:28🔗 Adam You're 25?

1:19:30🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:19:30🔗 Adam What's up?

1:19:31🔗 Caller Oh, I'm on? Yes. I have a problem. I'm religious, I'm Jewish, and I'm not going to masturbate. And I'm just, I just want to, I'm so horny that I just, I can't hold out.

1:19:45🔗 Adam Well, the Jews, hold on, Jews can masturbate, right?

1:19:48🔗 Drew Maybe the orthodox thing.

1:19:49🔗 Adam Well, they just, they just don't want to spring for the lube. That's the big problem that Jews have with masturbation.

1:19:54🔗 Caller The thing is, a lot of times I wake up and I have a wet dream. Of course. I try to stop and I stop it.

1:20:01🔗 Drew Joe, do not try to stop it. That's not a good thing for you.

1:20:04🔗 Adam What do you mean you try to stop it?

1:20:05🔗 Drew You can try to constrict the muscles down there. You can't stop it. You can feel like you're stopping it. But listen, Joe, what is the principle here? Why are you supposed to be denying yourself this?

1:20:19🔗 Caller That's the religion here.

1:20:20🔗 Drew But is there a reason, a philosophy? Is there some purpose to this? Self-discipline or something?

1:20:27🔗 Caller You shouldn't waste the semen.

1:20:29🔗 Drew But God's doing it for you at night if you don't waste it yourself.

1:20:32🔗 Adam That's God beating you off. That's what a wet dream is, Tommy, clinically.

1:20:38🔗 Caller If you don't think about it during the day, then supposedly you're not supposed to have it during the night. I mean, that's like, what can you do about it?

1:20:44🔗 Drew You can't do anything. First of all, that's your body. That's how it functions. It builds up a certain amount of semen, then it releases it. It pretty much has to release some of it.

1:20:51🔗 Best Of Are you masturbating if you're humping your pillow?

1:20:55🔗 Drew Yeah. Yeah. He can't even have a wet dream. He's trying to withhold wet dreams. He's trying to wake up in the middle of a wet dream to withhold the semen lest it be spilled.

1:21:02🔗 Best Of I've changed religions.

1:21:04🔗 Drew You want to talk to your rabbi about this? Seriously. This just doesn't seem right to me.

1:21:09🔗 Adam Do you have the full beard and everything, and the payoffs and everything? No.

1:21:12🔗 Caller I'm cool. I mean, whatever. Everything else, I'm fine.

1:21:15🔗 Adam No. Wait a minute. I'm asking you, do you look like a rabbi?

1:21:18🔗 Caller No. No, I don't.

1:21:19🔗 Adam Do you shave?

1:21:20🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:21:20🔗 Adam Well, how come you shave? That goes against your orthodox religion, doesn't it?

1:21:25🔗 Caller No, it's not.

1:21:26🔗 Adam It doesn't.

1:21:27🔗 Caller There are some, there are certain sects in the religion that do not shave, but I'm not in that sect.

1:21:32🔗 Drew I see.

1:21:32🔗 Adam Well, what about the sect that gets to beat off? Can you join them?

1:21:38🔗 Drew Maybe it's for you to go to more.

1:21:39🔗 Adam That's one of the first things I'd ask before I join up with a sect.

1:21:42🔗 Drew Move over to conservative.

1:21:43🔗 Adam Who does the most beating off?

1:21:44🔗 Drew Or reform or something just to get.

1:21:47🔗 Adam Joe, what's wrong with you? You don't realize this is all just some sort of fairytale nonsense from 2000 years ago. You're buying into this crap.

1:21:56🔗 Caller Please.

1:21:57🔗 Caller I got to be consistent if I'm going to.

1:21:58🔗 Adam All right.

1:21:59🔗 Drew What about getting a girlfriend? You're allowed to do it then pre-marital?

1:22:02🔗 Adam You threw a hole in the sheet.

1:22:03🔗 Caller You have to wait till you get married.

1:22:05🔗 Drew Are you planning on getting married?

1:22:06🔗 Caller Yeah, hopefully soon.

1:22:07🔗 Drew You don't have some prospects now.

1:22:09🔗 Caller Well, I've been going out with them, but nothing's turned out yet.

1:22:14🔗 Drew All right.

1:22:14🔗 Adam It just seems so unnecessary. Do you want to just drop, we can't just drop this nonsense.

1:22:19🔗 Drew Hey, what's the other thing you want to ask, Joe?

1:22:21🔗 Caller Is it normal? It's like I used to mess with it like six months ago and I was able to keep on going 10 times in a row without stopping.

1:22:28🔗 Drew Yeah, because it built up for 12 years.

1:22:30🔗 Adam I don't know. I think he's bogus now. I don't even believe him.

1:22:34🔗 Best Of How can you, six months ago, what is he, newly religious or six months ago was okay? I don't get it.

1:22:40🔗 Adam Listen, Tommy, I've said many a time that I would like people are sort of hyper religious to be looked at as having a mental condition. Do you know what I mean? We don't look at them as nuts. If you think you're Napoleon, you're insane. But if you're killing in the name of Allah, you're just a very religious man. You're deeply religious. You don't shave, you can't work. You got a box stapled to your head. You're reading the Torah all day long. You're banging your head. You can't plug in a goddamn lamp on Saturday. Listen, that's a mental condition. You have a mental problem, everyone. Please. And everybody, stop being so respectful to these nut jobs. They're nuts. They're born again. It's all of them.

1:23:24🔗 Drew But maybe the individual does not have mental condition. Maybe it's sort of a capitulation to a group process.

1:23:30🔗 Best Of What does capitulation mean? Excuse me.

1:23:32🔗 Drew Giving in.

1:23:32🔗 Adam Giving in to...

1:23:32🔗 Best Of Okay, thank you.

1:23:33🔗 Drew That you don't like... Thank you for making me do that. That you don't like the fact that they give in to this group ritual. It's ritual. Doesn't mean they have mental illness.

1:23:43🔗 Adam Yeah. But how... Don't you have to have a certain degree of mental illness to get involved with sort of nonsense rituals that take over your entire life, that every morning from sun up to sun down, you're involved with these crazy rituals? I mean, you would give a guy medication if he said, when I walk, I can't step on the cracks in the sidewalk. I can't do it. You'd say, you need medication. But not these guys. They're lying the blanket down, facing Mecca, praying to Allah four times a day, or reading from the Torah, or whatever other nonsense that they've decided to participate in. That's not as nutty as not stepping on the cracks?

1:24:23🔗 Drew The reason I can't be as vehement as you are is that... I haven't figured this out yet. There's something about the group ritual and the sacred, the human's need.

1:24:32🔗 Adam I just wish as a society we would start making fun of these people instead of being so reverent all the time. Everyone's like, oh, that's great, oh, no, oh, that's great, oh, you're going up on the mountain, you're waiting for Jesus to come back and take you all and the flood's gonna hit and the locusts are coming and you can't beat off. Let's just say this guy has a mental condition. Let's just call it that. Hey, maybe we could cure him.

1:24:56🔗 Drew And I understand you draw the line at no beating off. I mean, that's where you draw the line. Even Tommy looks a little shaken by that call.

1:25:03🔗 Adam The humanity.

1:25:03🔗 Best Of I'm not feeling that one.

1:25:05🔗 Adam No. Be right back with Tommy Lee on the best of the best of Loveline after this. Well, it's the best of the best of Loveline, and we're back, right, Drew?

1:25:30🔗 Drew And Tommy Lee is so much a part of the best that we couldn't just pack him all into one episode. One segment.

1:25:35🔗 Adam No, much like he can't pack himself into one pair of underpants.

1:25:37🔗 Drew Yeah, that's what I'm talking about.

1:25:39🔗 Adam So, enjoy a little more Tommy Lee.

1:25:41🔗 Drew Daniel, 24. Daniel?

1:25:45🔗 Caller Hey, I'm here.

1:25:46🔗 Drew What's up?

1:25:47🔗 Caller Hey.

1:25:48🔗 Drew What's going on?

1:25:49🔗 Caller Okay, about two weeks ago, I was going to take a pee, and some air came out right before the pee did.

1:25:57🔗 Drew Yeah. Okay.

1:25:59🔗 Adam Really?

1:26:00🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:26:01🔗 Adam You sure you didn't fart?

1:26:02🔗 Drew No.

1:26:04🔗 Adam That happened. That was a great audience, by the way. It happens, and you get confused. You're not paying attention.

1:26:11🔗 Caller No, I'm sure it came out of my pee-pee.

1:26:13🔗 Drew That's actually a serious symptom, believe it or not. Is it? Usually, those kinds of symptoms are caused by a fistula between your rectum and your bladder. So, literally, you are farting out of your anus. Oh, really? See? And the fistulas in that area can cause air to get into the bladder and the urethral tract. So, do you have any kind of infections or anything? You might have any surgeries?

1:26:38🔗 Caller No, no surgeries or anything.

1:26:39🔗 Adam What is a fistula? Like a hole?

1:26:41🔗 Drew A tract, yeah. It connects the...

1:26:43🔗 Adam Outside?

1:26:43🔗 Drew That's where the air comes from. It's not open all the time, but it kind of stuff seeps through.

1:26:47🔗 Adam The whale's blowhole?

1:26:48🔗 Drew The air you go in.

1:26:49🔗 Adam Oh, okay.

1:26:50🔗 Best Of Can I ask a question?

1:26:51🔗 Adam Yeah, yeah.

1:26:51🔗 Best Of What does that sound like is it a little tiny like because it's such a little hole or is it...

1:26:56🔗 Drew What does your urethral fart sound like?

1:26:58🔗 Best Of What does your urethral fart sound like?

1:27:00🔗 Adam Piccolo or trombone?

1:27:05🔗 Best Of It's got to be high-pitched.

1:27:06🔗 Adam Tommy, you're in the marching band.

1:27:07🔗 Drew What it more is, it's the P sound and then a break and then P sound. You know what I mean?

1:27:13🔗 Best Of Dr. Drew, you amaze me. Your knowledge. This is amazing.

1:27:18🔗 Adam It's like, you know when you shut the water off in the main for your house, and then you turn the water back on, you run the sink and it spits a little bit before it gets going.

1:27:26🔗 Drew It can do that, but more often than not, it's just P break P.

1:27:31🔗 Adam Hold on, do that again.

1:27:33🔗 Best Of P break P.

1:27:35🔗 Drew You're gay.

1:27:36🔗 Adam All right.

1:27:37🔗 Caller It was at the beginning of it though, it kind of freaked me out.

1:27:39🔗 Drew Yeah. Well, it's actually a serious symptom. There are other things that can do this. I mean, it's something you got to look into.

1:27:44🔗 Adam What should he do?

1:27:45🔗 Drew You got to see a urologist, okay? Urologist.

1:27:48🔗 Caller Wow.

1:27:48🔗 Drew All right.

1:27:49🔗 Caller And another question. Yeah. About your Ferrari.

1:27:53🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:27:53🔗 Caller How much did it cost you to repair that?

1:27:55🔗 Best Of $40,000.

1:27:58🔗 Caller How do you make that balloon in two lifetime?

1:28:00🔗 Adam Yeah. But people, I don't think, one thing people don't understand is when you get into this stuff, it's not twice as much as a Toyota or a Nissan. You know what I mean?

1:28:11🔗 Drew It's 20 times.

1:28:12🔗 Adam It's 25 times as much, like it's crazy.

1:28:15🔗 Best Of You got to wait for the parts to come from Italy.

1:28:17🔗 Drew I actually like this story because I'm not envious of him having that car.

1:28:20🔗 Best Of No, you don't want to forget it. You want nothing to do with the Ferrari.

1:28:24🔗 Adam Yeah, not that year. You get a newer one, it'll be all right. All right. Let's talk to Lindsay, you're 17. Lindsay? Yeah. What's up?

1:28:34🔗 Caller What are we talking about?

1:28:36🔗 Adam You know what's funny though? I've had my car somewhere for two years too. I got a BMW that's been at a place for two years, getting a supercharger put on it. You know the thing that's comical is when you call the place after like a year in eight months or two years, the conversations you have, it's funny. How's it going? It's going good, going good. How's it coming along? Yeah. You know what? The brackets came in Tuesday, so we're going for it. It's like, two years, two years. What are we talking about here? It's crazy. Then you hang up the phone too. You buy into it too. They go, yeah, the brackets are in, so we should have them on by the end of the week. Things are moving along pretty good.

1:29:18🔗 Best Of Yeah.

1:29:18🔗 Adam And it's like, meanwhile, but you're thinking, it's been two years. What are you talking about?

1:29:22🔗 Best Of I know.

1:29:22🔗 Adam A day here, a day there.

1:29:24🔗 Best Of Insane.

1:29:24🔗 Adam You should tape the... I mean, when you call them, what do they say? It's like...

1:29:28🔗 Best Of We call, and my boy, Viggy, very, very big boy, he's like productions, assistant, security, does a lot of things for me. He threatened to go down there and set up shop. He said, look, I'm going to come down there and I'm going to have lunch every day, and I'm going to...

1:29:44🔗 Drew That's what it takes.

1:29:45🔗 Best Of I'm going to sit there and tell everybody not to come into your shop if you don't get this freaking car done like soon. The guys have been waiting two years, bro. Come on.

1:29:54🔗 Adam Are these guys, they deal with like Ferraris exclusively, lamborghinis and that kind of stuff?

1:29:59🔗 Best Of Ferraris, Porsches, yeah, all the...

1:30:01🔗 Adam Yeah, these guys, you know, the thing that's funny too is these guys are the celebrities of the car world. They got just as much attitude as any diva does. You don't go in there and start pushing them around. Their whole thing is like, stuff's coming from Italy, stuff's coming from Germany, and it comes when it comes, and we'll see what happens when it happens. Don't worry, it's gonna cost a lot, but don't push me. It's crazy, it's a crazy business, Drew. You gotta get a Ferrari. All right, John. John, you're 20, what's up?

1:30:33🔗 Caller Hey, what's up?

1:30:34🔗 Drew What's up, John?

1:30:37🔗 Caller I can't bring my girlfriend to orgasm. We've tried all kind of stuff. I mean, I don't know what to do.

1:30:43🔗 Drew That's clear.

1:30:44🔗 Caller What the? Yeah. We've tried oral sex, she's got a vibrator, she's tried it by herself, nothing happens. We've tried it while we're having sex.

1:30:53🔗 Drew She's unable to orgasm, period.

1:30:55🔗 Caller Right.

1:30:55🔗 Drew Does she take medication?

1:30:57🔗 Caller She's on birth control now, but we've had sex before, she was on birth control and-

1:31:03🔗 Drew Tommy has an idea, hold on here, John.

1:31:05🔗 Best Of Yes, but do you have the matador?

1:31:08🔗 Drew Is that a vibrator?

1:31:11🔗 Best Of It's a ring slash vibrator with some horns.

1:31:15🔗 Adam Oh, really?

1:31:16🔗 Best Of Yeah.

1:31:17🔗 Adam Oh, El Diablo.

1:31:18🔗 Best Of Yeah, we kind of.

1:31:19🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:31:21🔗 Drew The matador.

1:31:22🔗 Best Of The matador.

1:31:23🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:31:24🔗 Adam So you slide, call the C ring for the sake of the sentence. Sorry.

1:31:28🔗 Drew I want to see Anderson start shifting back there in his seat.

1:31:30🔗 Best Of Oops.

1:31:31🔗 Caller All right.

1:31:31🔗 Adam So you slide the C ring over your penis.

1:31:34🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:31:35🔗 Adam Did you have to have yours let out or did it fit?

1:31:39🔗 Best Of I haven't actually used it, but I've been told by a couple of women that it's actually really nice.

1:31:43🔗 Adam So.

1:31:44🔗 Best Of And it's got a couple of horns that sort of line up strategically right.

1:31:47🔗 Drew Well, this is your thing near the gummy bear.

1:31:49🔗 Adam Right. So you're getting clitoral stimulation going while you're penetrating. Yes.

1:31:55🔗 Caller Right.

1:31:56🔗 Adam All right. Hey, John, on the other hand, how old is she?

1:31:59🔗 Caller She's 20. Yeah.

1:32:01🔗 Adam Sometimes at 20, if it ain't happening, it ain't happening.

1:32:04🔗 Drew Yeah. Women sometimes under 22, 24 can have real difficulty having an orgasm.

1:32:09🔗 Adam And even if they can be enjoying themselves and you can even be satisfying them, but they may not be at that age where they're able to have one.

1:32:16🔗 Drew It literally is that when there's so much estrogen circulating around, it tends to inhibit some of this.

1:32:21🔗 Adam Is that what's going on?

1:32:22🔗 Drew Progesterone, progesterone, these things do not...

1:32:23🔗 Adam When you have the most of that stuff circulating around...

1:32:26🔗 Drew Well, it's more that the testosterone starts coming up as you get older.

1:32:29🔗 Adam Oh, for the women. Then they become men.

1:32:31🔗 Drew They don't become men. They become baddie.

1:32:33🔗 Adam Oh, they become baddie. Yes. We decided last night that chicks when they're young are dingy, and as they get older, they become baddie. So better to be with a dingy than a baddie chick. You sound sort of dingy and baddie at the same time.

1:32:49🔗 Caller I'm not dingy and baddie. Thank you very much.

1:32:54🔗 Adam That was a chick we met right on the cusp last night between dingy and baddie, turning the corner and going into baddie. Hey John, here's what will cause you problems if you work too hard and become obsessed about the whole thing and sort of have her orgasm for her. You become like a dad who has an eight-year-old little leaguer who wants it too much for the eight-year-old. An eight-year-old, he can't even enjoy the game because dad's in the stands like screaming and kid's freaked out. Now he strikes out and he's crying and it becomes too much. Just let the kid go out, take his swings, enjoy himself and have a day in the sun.

1:33:31🔗 Drew That's all.

1:33:32🔗 Adam That's all. That's all. I'm saying use the bad on it.

1:33:34🔗 Drew More oral sex.

1:33:36🔗 Caller More oral.

1:33:37🔗 Adam Okay.

1:33:37🔗 Caller What she says that does happen, like she'll feel like it's building up to an orgasm, and then she'll tense up and be sore for the next two days, really bad.

1:33:45🔗 Drew Just relax. Relax, John. You got the heat on here. Just enjoy yourself with her.

1:33:50🔗 Adam No, but that's sort of, I'm humping you, but I need you to do something for me kind of thing that I think we all had when we were younger.

1:33:59🔗 Drew With that male thing. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

1:34:01🔗 Adam It's like, you gotta-

1:34:02🔗 Drew You gotta prove that you're worthy of that, that I can do that for you.

1:34:05🔗 Adam It was like, it's like trying to start a fire with a stick.

1:34:08🔗 Caller It's like, I gotta, I gotta.

1:34:16🔗 Adam Now I do.

1:34:17🔗 Drew 20 more minutes. Relax, relax.

1:34:18🔗 Adam Yeah, yeah. It's like, I need some spark. I need some flame. Now I just, I turn the sticks like makes a revolution every 10 minutes and I just sit there, beer in one hand, slowly twiddling the stick in the other. It's like, hey, if it, if it catches on fire, catches on. It'll catch on fire easier if you leave it alone.

1:34:34🔗 Drew You need to take a magnifying glass, put it up to the sun.

1:34:36🔗 Adam What are you talking about? There was no longer any, any movement.

1:34:39🔗 Caller That's right.

1:34:41🔗 Adam I now use a Sterno can and have my assistant light it. All right, Tommy Lee is, Tommy Lee is our guest tonight. That's right. Well, that's the best of the best of Loveline. I want to thank Ozzy Osborne, Destiny's Child, Peter Gallagher and Adam Brody from the OC, george Lopez from Guadalajara, and Tommy Lee. So until next time, this is Adam Carolla for Dr. Drew saying Mahalo.

1:35:34🔗 Caller This has been Loveline.

1:35:38🔗 Adam The opinions expressed in this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or this station.

1:35:46🔗 Caller The producer for Loveline is Aningold.

1:35:48🔗 Adam Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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