2:03🔗
Voiceover
Loveline is meant for an adult audience. Sexually-oriented content. Listener discretion is advised. Listener discretion is advised. Listener discretion is advised.
2:25🔗
Adam
Hey, everyone, it's Loveline. I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew, telephone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1, Dr. Drew, board certified physician, addiction medicine specialist. Leeann Tweeden is here tonight. I felt like I was missing something at the very top of the show. Leeann, dear, dear friend, Leeann hasn't been on the show in over a year. We found out.
2:52🔗
Adam
Please, someone torch that place. Torch it for a million reasons. All of which are righteous ones. Please torch that dump. We're here at Fabulous K-Rock, just down the street. Leeann is on the cover and in the body of, speaking of body, FHM Magazine. I took a good perusing of it. Oh, there it is. Oh, you did? Well, it's at the office. You know, one of the nice things about having a job, there's actually, especially over at Jimmy's or the Manchur or whatever, is always just knee deep in FHM and load and all these things. Load, yeah. Well, not pornography, but you know, well, we do get the pornography, too. We get the penthouse and we get the hustler and like Playboy and all the good stuff. Penthouse, thank God, is toned down, the urinating on the folks' part.
3:43🔗
Leeann Tweeden
No, but don't they show men and women now? They didn't do before, I think, and somebody told me that recently. I'm like, can they get away with that?
3:49🔗
Adam
They do. It's funny, too, it's funny when Penthouse comes out with the big gala Christmas issue and it's like you flip the thing open, the guy's taking a dump on it, it's like, wow, that's a Christmas issue. Wow. I like to see the Fourth of July. Yeah.
4:06🔗
Adam
Yeah. Leeann, also what can be found on the best day in the sports show period. But wait a minute, wasn't I on that a few weeks back? We didn't see each other, did we?
4:15🔗
Leeann Tweeden
No, no. You know, I'm always traveling and on the road doing some sort of story or event or interviewing athletes or whatever it is that I'm doing.
4:23🔗
Leeann Tweeden
They probably kept me away from you anyways because you were a little bitter last time I beat you when you were on the show.
4:28🔗
Adam
Well, I'm glad you brought that up. Leeann is a bit of a tomboy and very competitive and a couple of things. Last Super Bowl, we all raced in this celebrity Go Kart Cadillac race.
5:04🔗
Adam
Leeann couldn't have been more full of herself before the race started, by the way. Just a shouting to the world, anyone who would listen that she was going to mop up with the boys. By the way, the second...
5:26🔗
Adam
And the point is, the second biggest mouth on the lot was Pat O'Brien, who, by the way, nobody loves himself more than Pat O'Brien. I don't know how much...
5:36🔗
Adam
I don't know how that guy... I see Pat O'Brien when he's not standing in front of a mirror just talking with a trash can on his head so he can hear his own voice. Just putting a metal trash can, hi, it's Pat O'Brien, hi, hi, hi, Pat O'Brien, Tom Cruise.
5:54🔗
Adam
What's up with Brittany? Yeah, he was announcing that he was going to win the thing, although I don't know what that was based on because he wasn't turning any kind of lamps at all.
6:11🔗
Leeann Tweeden
Jimmy is like cars. Well, didn't you knock him into the hay bales and almost took out Paris Hilton standing on the... That sounds about right.
6:27🔗
Leeann Tweeden
He tried. Somebody knocked him into the hay bales and almost took Paris Hilton out. For real. It was quite funny.
6:33🔗
Adam
It would have been awesome. And she, by the way, was the flag person who was very confusing because when she got bored with sort of just wibbits about with the flag and as you were driving by, you weren't sure if it was the last laugh or what was going on. They'd come by and it was still waving. So I won my first three heats and Leeann won her first three heats, I think it was. And of course, we squared off in the finals with just two other people, but they weren't the...
7:12🔗
Adam
I'm going to disappoint in a second by telling you the reason. Now you're probably wondering why when we're going down the straightaway, you're bumping the back of my car. Why is it you're bumping the back of my car? Because you're going too slow. Am I not... my right foot is not planted firmly on the accelerator?
7:52🔗
Adam
You weren't curious why. You just went by and I couldn't... you just ended up going 100 feet ahead of me 10 seconds after you passed me.
8:10🔗
Leeann Tweeden
No, actually they're pretty powerful, those ones that they put out for us. Those aren't just like little fun carts. I mean, they're pretty powerful.
8:23🔗
Adam
They're all pretty even. I weigh 70 pounds more than you do. If you took a 70 pound sack of cement and put it in your car, I would whoop your ass. Aha!
8:41🔗
Adam
I probably won't be asked. Will you take the Ace Flour Sack Challenge? We take the cement sack challenge. 50 pounds. I gave you 50. What do you weigh?
8:54🔗
Adam
Uh-oh. Because I'm 200. And I had a lot of beer in me from the night before. I had a lot of vial and cheese. I was up all night boozing. Thank God it doesn't affect my reflex. He's still a sore loser. Well, sore, you're the world's worst winner. What? She was screaming about the whole thing. And by the way, the rest of the jackasses at the thing were like, she beat you, dude. I'm like, she beat me. I beat all you guys. That's why she beat me.
9:26🔗
Leeann Tweeden
Jamie Foxx. I just saw Jamie Foxx last week at the American Music Awards. He's like, man, girl, you kicked my butt.
9:36🔗
Leeann Tweeden
You can't admit that a woman can be better than you at something where it's not necessarily like strength issues or, okay, maybe you got 50 pounds of me, but you can't say that I'm a better driver.
9:50🔗
Adam
But here's the thing. Here's the thing. You are a good driver. But when I'm going down the straight and you're bumping into the back of me, that's because your car is 75 pounds lighter. Tactic. All right.
10:00🔗
Leeann Tweeden
You knew I was there and it was bugging the crop out of you because you knew I was going by you.
10:03🔗
Adam
No, you're supposed to bump me on that way. I'm saying you're 10 miles an hour faster and I am in the straightaway. That's what I'm saying.
10:09🔗
Leeann Tweeden
Yeah, but I couldn't just pass you because you were hogging the whole middle of the track.
10:11🔗
Adam
That's all I could do because I knew your car was or you were faster because of the weight thing. That's all I'm saying.
10:17🔗
Drew
So what she's saying is if you've been a skilled driver, you would have found a way to prevent her from passing.
10:20🔗
Adam
Now, you couldn't do it. She just wedged in. She was 10 times faster. And by the way, I will make this prediction too. You will never be beat until you find someone light. You're racing guys that are like these athletes and jocks. Some of these guys are 200 pounds.
10:34🔗
Leeann Tweeden
Yeah, but a couple of the girls, like that one model girl, that beautiful girl, she just, you know, she couldn't drive. She was bad.
10:40🔗
Adam
Now, that's my point. You're going to have to find a midget or a chick racer. Because if you're seriously, I know it's an excuse, but if you're 50 pounds different than the next person, even if your skill level is even close to the same, you're going to win. And you're a good driver. You're not taking anything away from my, Leeann, but cocky, oh boy, cocky. Victoria? You're 21?
11:08🔗
Caller
Um, I have a problem with cheating in my relationships and I want to know if that has something to do with the fact that I've been raped and I want to know how to fix it so that I don't keep doing it.
11:30🔗
Drew
I could feel the hatred coming through. That's what I was thinking. She hates men. She hates men.
11:38🔗
Oh, gosh.
11:45🔗
Caller
I haven't had any problems when I was a child. Physical abuse? Mm-mm. I had a lot of mental abuse, like a lot of neglect when I was younger.
12:16🔗
Drew
Well, here's what women do when they hate men. They start becoming sort of sexualized and trying to attract men and then hating them for being attracted to them. Sort of creating webs and dragging them into it, then hating them for playing along with you. Is that stuff you do?
12:34🔗
I have.
12:36🔗
Caller
I did that a lot with my husband. I did not do that with my girlfriend, however. Girlfriend? I did cheat on my girlfriend, no, and...
12:46🔗
Adam
Well, look, it shouldn't even be called cheating with you anymore. It's like when a dog gets loose at the park and you start humping another dog and sniffing something. Is that cheating? I don't know. Look, it's a mess. Do you have any kids?
13:15🔗
Adam
She's a great mother, how dare you? Victoria, first off, no more kids for the love of Christ. What are you doing?
13:22🔗
Adam
I know. And I know, besides all this cheating, everything, you're the world's greatest mom.
13:28🔗
Adam
Multiple dads or just the one dad? Refreshing. And where is the guy you're divorced from? Is he going to be a part of the child's life?
13:50🔗
Caller
It wasn't taken away. It was given up because I tried to commit suicide. I didn't feel that I was the best to be raising my children if I had had those tendencies.
14:02🔗
Drew
It's interesting how you've created the cycle of neglect. Your mom was out of your life. Your kid's mom is out of their life.
14:08🔗
Adam
How about some therapy and whatever you're doing. Just take your vagina, put a bucket of ice water and just relax. Take off it for a year. Just rehab. Assholes.
14:26🔗
Drew
Victoria, do you see how huge these problems are well beyond the cheating issues? You can't have a stable relationship. You've been abused, neglected. You have profound personality issues. You've given up your children, every life parameter is stressed or falling apart. This is really serious stuff and you've got to take care of yourself.
14:48🔗
Adam
Right. All right, please. So no more kids, easy with the relationships, just to focus on some school or some work and therapy.
14:54🔗
Drew
And by the way, we do a lot of excusing people in this culture. It's like, well, you know, right now she's not working, and right now she can't quite handle having a boyfriend, and right now she had to give up her kids. No, no, no. If you can't have a stable relationship, you can't handle a job, that suggests profound psychological problems, profound.
15:21🔗
Adam
They suffer, and then we suffer because we have to take care of the kids and they become the future drug addicts and the prison population and the unemployed and the homeless, and it's all these kids.
15:33🔗
Drew
How dare you? The homeless are just people who are just out of luck with the job. What are you talking about?
15:38🔗
Adam
What goes on in this country that the homeless are concerned... Well, the guy, he had a great job. He's worked for a defense contractor. He had two kids, blah, blah, blah, blah. He got laid off. When Michael Moore would like you to believe that he got a pink slip and then all of a sudden he's living in his car and slamming horse, right?
15:56🔗
Adam
I've yet to find a homeless guy that's just the 33 years defense contractor working over at Lockheed, got canned and now he has to eat out of a garbage can.
16:05🔗
Drew
And by the way, you come across that guy, that guy needs an MRI because he's got a brain tumor.
16:10🔗
Leeann Tweeden
Yeah, exactly. You know, my friend, his dad actually pulled up to a curb once and a guy was standing there asking for money or, you know, saying, I need a job. And his dad, my friend's dad gave his work card and he said, hey, call us. I know we need help down at our site and, you know, we can get you a paying job with benefits and stuff. And the guy goes, how much is a pay? He goes about 1750, 18 bucks an hour, which is a great job for any normal American. You know, you're living on the street and the guy threw the card back in his window. He goes, I make more money on the street. He goes, I'm not going to go work. Can you believe? I mean, that's the kind of attitude you're going to deal with with a lot of them. So that just kind of ruins it for the people you do feel sorry for that might have mental problems or something different than those people that are just abusing the nice people out there.
16:57🔗
Leeann Tweeden
I mean, you've seen the guy that holds up the sign and go, let's face it, I want a beer. You know, like, let's be honest, I just want money for a beer.
17:03🔗
Leeann Tweeden
Yeah, of course he does. I mean, you know, at least you know he's not lying to you.
17:07🔗
Adam
You know, it would be a nice little cottage industry, a nice little side business for me. I'm clever. I could come up with clever signs professionally done up.
17:28🔗
Adam
I'm in for a taste. It's like, look, right now you got that veteran need help. What's that draw? You got about 16 bucks a month? That's nothing. All right, I got one here. It's show us your tees. Now, it sounds controversial, but the guys are going to get a laugh and probably stuff 10 bucks in there. I'm giving you this. But I'm going to send a guy around at the end of the web.
17:52🔗
Adam
We're going to need a little taste. Yeah, like an agent, I'm going to need 10% of what you bring in. Shake it down. It's all right. Pimp daddy. Yeah. That's good. You get enough of those guys spread out around Southern Cal? Sean, until I find out one of my collection guys is skimming. Then I got to get one of my enforcer guys to shake the guy up.
18:16🔗
Adam
He starts his own. And before you know it, we got a turf war. Because I said I got people.
18:33🔗
Adam
Yeah. Oh, we'll muscle her right off. Hey, Juanita, take a hike. Hey, do you see something half of that nice five-gallon bucket of yours? Then the guy goes nuts on it with a bat.
19:05🔗
Adam
Well, huge here. Well, I don't have the weight disadvantage on this one, sister, so look out. This big out here in Southern California, the ranchero music accordion is really the cornerstone of all good ranchero music.
19:26🔗
Adam
Yeah, it's kind of like getting a good beating. I don't know how good it is. The point is we play a random ranchero song. It starts somewhere in the middle of the song. We don't know the song. We don't know when it starts. It's how long does it take before we hear an accordion? Drew.
19:46🔗
Adam
Three seconds, Drew says. Now we don't know anything that you don't know, although we are familiar with the genre of music. We don't know this song. So Leeann, what is it? Do you have an idea? Four. Four seconds. Bold. Now we can either go immediate or I can go high. I'm going high. I'm going six.
20:08🔗
Adam
It takes a big man. A lot of lesser men would have gone five seconds. Not me. I had a whole second.
20:14🔗
Adam
I'd go with six. All right, now, Engineer Chris, who looks like he's a raccoon that's scurried onto the road and an 18-wheeler is coming at him.
20:35🔗
Adam
Chris, let me tell you that this may come up again and possibly in tomorrow night's show as well. I know, it's been 35 shows now, so I'm just saying. You may want to have it poised, all right buddy? That's the beauty of Loveline, really. Right?
21:28🔗
Adam
Ranchero music ranges from A to like B, but not quite C. But it has a range. Remember that space is between A and B? There's a little gap in there. Look at this one.
22:33🔗
Drew
No, I couldn't hear where it began. I couldn't tell. I'll get another track. Yes, thank you. Something more Mexican.
22:49🔗
Adam
Oh, you're going instant? Oh, you're changing. I have to change this now. Okay, you're going two. I'm staying at six. All right. That's how I am. All right. You're ready, Chris?
23:03🔗
Adam
Chris, you got to say, yeah. Say no if you're not ready. Okay, buddy. I'm working. All right. You're working. Yeah. That's going to be on The Best Of. Chris is working. All right. You ready? Three, two, one, go. This is it.
23:33🔗
Adam
Drew won that round. But don't worry. Leeann and I will be back. Can't put out that competitive fire. Go Kart's Ranchero music later on.
23:44🔗
Adam
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. She's going to make you pay. Leeann Tweeden is here tonight on the cover of FHM Magazine and probably at least eight, nine pages inside looking very glad.
24:02🔗
Loveline will be right back, so get your problems ready.
24:08🔗
Caller
Loveline is brought to you by Playboy. The December issue of Playboy on newsstands now is loaded with the College Hoops preview and the annual music poll. You might not even notice the Denise Richards pictorial.
24:40🔗
Adam
Phone number, 1-800-LOVE-191, Dr. Drew, board, blah, blah, blah. Leeann Tweeden is here tonight. Leeann is gracing the cover of this month's or next month's, but on the newsstands now. I'm assuming it's on the newsstands. I have one at work. FHM, looking very sultry, about to undo her bra. And-
25:06🔗
Adam
It's very, very interesting, yeah. But also, here's a way for you to look at it. Putting it back on more lurid than actually taking off, because it means something went on about 10 minutes ago before they loaded the film in the camera. You know what I'm saying? Just getting dressed. Yeah, you're in what we call the refractory period here. You better hope you're taking it off, sweetness. She is all over this thing, but a very nice sexy, tasteful, but sexy. Nah, not even that tasteful, just the sultry. Well, I don't mean that in a bad way, but it's...
25:41🔗
Leeann Tweeden
It is very sexy. It is probably one of the sexiest ones I've done for them yet.
25:45🔗
Adam
Yes, it is sexy, very sexy. So, where is it? Yeah, there we go. There it is, got that there. A little butt crack there, looking good. You got a little chikaru over there. Got that move, that's my move, by the way. Hold on, that's Drew, you know that's my move, where I do that thing where I sort of stand at a 45, not at a 90, but at a 45 to like when you're in the door, like when we travel. And I do that thing where I just hook my thumb over the side of my briefs and pull it down just to show a little hip skin.
26:40🔗
Adam
Drew has a couple poses named after himself as well. All right, so what is good? Nine, eight, nine pictures, very sexy. Going to, are you going to Iraq, did you say, during the break?
26:50🔗
Leeann Tweeden
I am, I'm going again before Christmas. I leave actually on the, we're leaving on the 12th. Robin Williams, we're gonna go again before Christmas with the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, General Myers. Yeah, so one of the, our actually highest up ranking military official in the United States.
27:07🔗
Leeann Tweeden
We flew in Air Force Two last year and went over there, which was kind of neat, you know, and it was sort of, you know, a lot of fighting over there at the time we went. And, you know, every day, I know you asked me where I was going, but every day it sort of a-
27:18🔗
Leeann Tweeden
It changes and some places are a little more hotbeds of resistance and we divert our plan from there to here. And then at the last minute-
27:27🔗
Leeann Tweeden
Fly, yeah. We actually were flying in C-130, so cargo planes. But there's different tactics to fly in about how to either come in spiraling down in a certain area where you're protected by a certain perimeter of our guys around a certain mileage that we know we're protected inside or you come in low and quiet. And I'm like, why low and quiet? I just think that they're ready with the RPGs to shoot us from the underbelly of the plane. But we did have to wear flak vests and Kevlar helmets.
28:03🔗
Leeann Tweeden
Yeah, last year we all traveled together. He's hilarious. And to see him and his first troops.
28:16🔗
Leeann Tweeden
He's very, he's almost there. He's very introvert and he's kind of quiet on the plane. He's very humble. And then people will start talking and he'll hear bits and pieces of conversations. And then he'll just pipe up about something and just sort of his mind, it must hurt his own head to be, you know, have his mind in his head because his brain works so fast. And he'll just, you know, reel off a joke that turns into a five minute story of a joke, you know, I just don't even know how his brain thinks that fast, but he's really funny and the troops loved him.
28:44🔗
Leeann Tweeden
I go out and talk, you know, my dad was in the Air Force and I've been, this will be my sixth trip. And it'll be my third into Iraq itself since the war started. I've been to Afghanistan. I was in Afghanistan during Thanksgiving.
29:07🔗
Leeann Tweeden
They would love to see you guys. Are you kidding me? I think my, actually, I have friends in the Air Force that just flew some of the guys and the Sopranos. And he just sent me a picture like two days ago. He just flew them.
29:16🔗
Adam
I didn't want to say this in front of Drew, but I had some comedian buddies who went over there. Dr. Drew Carey and Jeff Ross went on there.
29:24🔗
Adam
Your name did come up and they said Jeff was out on stage, so we're going to put it to a vote. Do you want Dr. Drew to come out, or would you rather just stare into the desert? It was close. Fair. It was close.
29:42🔗
Adam
That's what Jeff assumed. That's why he thought it was safe to ask the question. But they did sort of come down and stare into the desert.
29:51🔗
Leeann Tweeden
Seriously? I mean, you say you would. But then when it comes time to, a lot of people don't have the balls to go. And I hate to say that. But it is a scary thing. And some people just bail out.
30:02🔗
Leeann Tweeden
I mean, you all talk or, you know, can I pass your name over to the USO and they'll contact you? And you'll be like, well, I'm busy.
30:21🔗
Adam
Like, a prisoner going, yeah, I got caught trying to escape. I'm going to talk to the warden about it. No, no, you'll sit there and I'll give you 30 days in a hole. That's how it's going to work.
30:39🔗
Adam
That's Drew's wife. Oh, yes. It's both his wives. Well, I think it is a clear representation. It's our buddies from that TV show.
30:53🔗
Adam
No, I have no problem going over there. Although unlike most showbiz folks, I have a job, whether it's writing or Kimmel or doing this show, that's actually like having a regular job, which I realize I can't take a week off and go do something. But if we plan it out in advance, I'll go. And let me tell you something, I may come back with a few kills. I don't go over there to do a song and dance. I've got to get in the field, you know what I mean? Sniper Corolla? Yeah, I might take a few people down with me. Own men, but you know. John?
31:24🔗
Hello?
31:38🔗
Go ahead.
31:39🔗
Caller
It's more for Dr. Drew, since he's a doctor. Yeah, doc, I'm pretty young, I think, right?
31:44🔗
So, I think I have erectile dysfunction.
31:50🔗
Yeah, I recently turned 21, man.
31:53🔗
Adam
Oh, that's different, because if you're like a 21 in four or five months, it's no big deal. Yeah, you get on the Viagra, but-
31:59🔗
Adam's got a point. Adam's got a point.
32:09🔗
Caller
No, not at all. Like, let's say, I mean, I'll paint the scene. I'm hooking up with a girl.
32:28🔗
Drew
And no medical problems, no drugs, no drugs and alcohol, no medication. Is that accurate?
32:39🔗
Adam
Well, hold on a second. You can't kill a 21-year-old boner with a, you know, keg of Evergreen. No.
32:53🔗
Drew
All right, that I wouldn't do either. How about these situations where you're having sex? Are they very anxiety provoking?
33:02🔗
That's what I'm trying to think about.
33:15🔗
Adam
I'm putting him on hold for a second because he talks. It's the world we talk. You know what he's like? He's like one of those novelty bass things that yap on the wall. Like you got to...
33:28🔗
Adam
You hear a noise and they start... You know that there's a horrible thing that happens to people which is when they get nervous, they do the worst possible thing. The best thing you could do when you're nervous is to just reel it in, quiet down, listen, let the expert do the talking. No one's going to get you into trouble. You're not going to get into trouble that way, but your impulse is to talk over and then it's on top of, and then you get more nervous. He's probably doing the same version of this in the sack. He's anxious.
34:06🔗
Adam
Yeah, go through all the compulsory stuff, learn the scales, start getting into more experimental stuff, but really get comfortable.
34:20🔗
Adam
Yeah. You need to find yourself, I agree with Drew, a sow or a cow and really get busy. Nice big chick. You can really get busy on it, you're not going to do any damage to it. It's not going to leave you if you have a bad outing. You get hooked up with a hot chick like Leeann, you have a bad outing, she gives you the hook. You know what I mean?
34:39🔗
Adam
She's like a manager, seventh inning of the World Series. You know, a guy starts throwing a couple wild pitches up, right to the bullpen. But you get yourself a big gal, she's got a crappy job, she'll hang with you for a while. Meanwhile, you get to work it out. What's that?
34:53🔗
Caller
The thing is, chicks are pretty understanding, actually. Like, this usually is not a problem, but like, I had this problem, like, for a few months, about a year ago. And now it's kind of back.
35:07🔗
I don't know, it just kind of happened.
35:18🔗
Drew
It must be tough when life just happens to you and everything is bewildering. You're like a native.
35:23🔗
Adam
Well, you can go kill a goat or something and hopefully rid yourself of this penis curse.
35:31🔗
Leeann Tweeden
That's an interesting analogy you just said, though. It's very thought-provoking. No, just how some people, how life just happens to everybody and they're just the victims and, you know.
35:41🔗
Drew
He's not even a victim, he's just sort of primitive man. He just sort of can't figure out life. Life just happens.
35:47🔗
Adam
Well, there's two things. I think people get into two modes. They're both extremes and neither one of them are correct, which is people get sick and label themselves, label it food poisoning almost every time. That's the new one. And they'll do that thing where they go, I should, I had the lobster bisque, I should, I got the, so they become these doctors except for it's sort of, they're diagnosing, you know, whatever. You got the flu, fine. Everybody has this or they do that like, there must have been some dairy in there. I don't, I will react if there was a little chicken broth in there. That's what happened because I'm a vegetarian in my stomach. And then the problem is, is they got a bunch of idiots around them. That's why everyone hates me, by the way, at home, because I'm the one who's going, I actually said the other day, you're lucky Dr. Drew's not here because he'd not go for any of this nonsense you guys are talking about because it's that same conversation. Like, there must have been some chicken broth in the thing, uh-huh, and everyone's just nodding. Well, no, if your stomach's not used to protein, uh-huh, uh-huh. Eight of them, they don't have a GED between the eight of them.
36:53🔗
Adam
And I'm sure they're going, I think maybe just had the flu. Now that. So people are in between either that mode or their why something bad happened to me, I'm not going to explore it at all. Either they're exploring it in this weird wrong direction or it just is.
37:09🔗
Drew
It's just happening. It's really, that's where the concept, it's sort of a delusional process is that primitive man used to think that thoughts were delivered into their head.
37:18🔗
Drew
And things were delivered into their body. Things happened to them from the heavens, from the gods, whatever.
37:23🔗
Leeann Tweeden
Well, that's how a lot of our reasoning for a lot of things and, you know, human life have come down from back then when we didn't know any better.
37:44🔗
Drew
You know, it was a strange crowd. They were all in the big mobile homes and stuff. No, I live right by the Rose Bowl. I should have went. And I was at a gas station. I was asked by four people, you know, by themselves, single people, dressed like sort of Auntie M, but 28 years old.
38:00🔗
Adam
Yeah, conservative. Like 28-year-old fat chicks wearing shawls and lace-up shoes. Right, and they wanted to know why.
38:11🔗
Leeann Tweeden
And when you're within a 20-mile radius of the Pasadena Rose Bowl, it's on every corner and every sign and every arrow.
38:20🔗
Adam
Let me defend them by saying they follow signs, not signs. You see what I'm saying? They're so busy speaking to a higher power, and they have a personal relationship, but Jesus Christ, that they couldn't possibly look at road signs while they're driving. And so they filled the Rose Bowl over by Drew's house for four days. Well, he may not be preaching too much longer, I think. All right. Where are we, Drew? Phone call? Got to take a break? Hasn't had a period in two years. I don't want to talk to that dude. Who do we got over here? This guy? This girl? What you doing? Camera? Same day, started using a NuvaRing. Recently began losing her to a heart attack. Husband left her and took the kids to Utah. She's crushed. Hold on a second, let me talk to her for just a second.
39:15🔗
Yeah, used to be.
39:19🔗
Adam
Drew's 100% on that. I should say Anderson is. Corey, you're 24, your husband left and took the kids to Utah?
39:27🔗
Caller
Well, yeah. He got out of the Army and decided he had to get back to Utah and left me in Virginia.
40:16🔗
Adam
Hold on a second, Drew. During the break, I'm going to abandon you to flee to the bathroom.
40:33🔗
Adam
You just have to look. I prefer to look at his fleeing instead of going. Corey? Okay, so now you guys are together.
40:45🔗
Caller
The question is, I... Divorce seems to be the easy way out and not the best way for the kids, but on Wednesday we'll have been married for five years. And right now, I mean, everything that could possibly be bad that could happen has happened.
41:13🔗
Adam
No multiple wives? All right, hold on a sec. Hold on a second, Corey. I don't know what the whatever could possibly happen as bad as already happened, but we're going to get to the bottom of it, I can promise you that. Dr. Drew, please quit asking if she's Mormon, just not everyone who moves flees to Utah is Mormon.
41:30🔗
Adam
I understand that, please. Anderson? Leeann Tweeden is here tonight on the cover of FHM Magazine, also going to be found on the Best Damn Sports Show period. We'll take ourselves a quick break. We'll be right back after this.
41:52🔗
94.7, Alternative Portland.
42:19🔗
Adam
Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-L-L-V-E-1-9-1. Leeann Tweeden is here tonight. She's on the cover of FHM Magazine. Looking fantabulous. She's the one who's either taking off her bra or putting on her bra. And then...
42:49🔗
Leeann Tweeden
You know, magazines, I guess, people get paid to write those little headers, you know?
42:55🔗
Adam
Does anyone read the magazine to figure out whether they should dump somebody or use anything from the magazine?
43:02🔗
Adam
Women readers? Yeah, but they read this... They have good jokes. Yeah, they have some good jokes. And they have some good advertisements in the back. Like they have a weird sex wedge pillow thing I gotta show you. Which is, that's a class move when you have a dedicated, you know, I'll do my humpin on the couch or the coffee table. When you have a dedicated piece of sex furniture, you know, one of those retained spinning chairs.
43:27🔗
Adam
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, you get sort of, it's a sort of star 80s thing where you actually whip up your own sort of gynecological stirrups and all that stuff. It's super extra creepy, by the way. And, you know, once in a while you see the dog licking it or some kid sits on it or some place a disaster.
43:46🔗
Adam
Yeah, let me show you the sex wedge. And by the way, like there's no other way to, you know, like man has been looking for a way to nail a chick in a doggy position for millions of years and now, thanks to this technological breakthrough known as a futon pillow, we can now enter from behind, Drew.
44:16🔗
Adam
Yeah, look on page 86. You'll see you're posing in the Corolla position. It's the prone position. All right, you ready, Drew?
44:25🔗
Adam
Finish with Corey. Corey is 24 in Virginia, moved to Utah. Husband fled to Utah, took the two kids. Now it looks like divorce. But why, what has he done to you? Has he cheated on you?
44:45🔗
Caller
No, the reason he didn't re-enlist is because he was guaranteed to go to Iraq. And so he got.
44:53🔗
Drew
Is it just that you really didn't want to leave and he insisted on leaving and that's the source of conflict in your relationship?
45:13🔗
Drew, please.
45:14🔗
Caller
Well, he left me out there with six weeks left. He couldn't stay with me for six weeks. He left me with an illegal car, no place to live, no money, and he took the kids. And he told me he was coming back to Utah to get a job and to get a place to live so that everything would be set when I got here. Seven weeks later, when I finally got here, he still didn't have a job and we just barely moved into a place.
46:09🔗
Adam
How old is he? He's spent four years in the service. You guys have been married, not even married for five. That means he had one year civilian life before he enlisted.
46:20🔗
Caller
Well, he maintained that he didn't get out of the Army like all of his friends did. A lot of his friends were captured out for smoking weed and stuff and so.
46:30🔗
Adam
By the way, you not being drummed out of the service isn't a rich history of employment.
46:45🔗
Drew
Things are just happening to her and she can't make sense of them. It isn't thinking them through.
46:49🔗
Leeann Tweeden
I mean, I understand. I'd feel a little bummed if my husband kind of left me and I had six weeks left of school and he left her with nothing, no home. I mean, that's a little strange.
46:59🔗
Adam
This is all her version, by the way. I'm sure he's not a great guy, believe me. And I'm sure he doesn't have any money. And also, by the way, taking the kids is probably the right thing to do, and not leaving you with the kids and no roof over the kids' heads.
47:16🔗
Caller
Well, I slept in the car for two nights and then I found a girl through a friend at school who needed a roommate and she was the nicest person I've ever met in my life. You were a Mormon?
47:38🔗
Adam
You went to Virginia to go to junior college. All right, listen, Corey, what has he done? You said he's done everything bad that he could do. He hasn't cheated.
47:54🔗
Adam
Yeah, I know, but let's be honest, it wasn't much of a world. I mean, you were living in Virginia in a crappy apartment going to junior college. It wasn't much of a world.
48:05🔗
Adam
You've got your kids. He's going to find a job. You're living in Utah. The air is fresh. Land is cheap. What's up?
48:14🔗
Adam
All right, but listen, nut job, can you do me a favor and stop crapping out the kids, please? Please, please.
48:23🔗
Adam
And secondly, we've been talking to you for what feels like an hour and a half, and you've not said anything that the guy's done other than he's not the world's most sensitive guy, but what's going on? Why do you gotta get divorced? I don't understand.
48:43🔗
Adam
All right, listen, just get divorced. Just get divorced. Just get divorced. She's an idiot. Just stop cranking out the kids, please. All you nut jobs, just go ahead and be nuts. I'm sorry for what happened to you when you were young. I'm sorry about the molestation and the wholesale abuse. Stop cranking out the kids and then go lead your nutty life. I can't talk to her anymore. I don't know what's going on. Please. Leeann Tweeden here tonight. We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back after this.
49:31🔗
This hour brought to you in part by Axe. Experience the Axe Effect. That's Dr. Drew.
50:06🔗
Adam
Pawn number 1-800-LOVE-191, Leeann Tweeden is here tonight on the cover of FHM, looking very good. Putting her bra back together. And a lot of guys, a lot of what I like to call splosers out front.
50:23🔗
Adam
Well, they're out there getting her to sign the magazine. If you want fans, get yourself on the cover of a gentleman's magazine, because you will be signing those things. I'm not sure how the math works. I do know you could win the Nobel Peace Prize. You would not get anyone asking you to sign anything.
50:45🔗
Adam
Well, even if you're a female celebrity or a male celebrity, we've had plenty of big rock star types in here. No one wants them signing, but if you're a woman who's made it to the cover of one of the magazines, men's magazines, there's a line of guys who need to sign it. And I'm not sure if there's a market for it or something. I'm not sure how it works.
51:11🔗
Drew
Well, these guys are, most of them own, like, magazine shops and things, and they sell these things.
51:17🔗
Leeann Tweeden
There are a lot of, like, autograph hounds, but what about the people that just want you to sign something? Don't you think that's just a, is it to be, I met Leeann, it was a personal moment, she signed my magazine? You know what I mean? Kind of like, oh, sorry.
51:29🔗
Drew
I don't know, but men aren't that interested in all that. You know what I mean? That doesn't fit.
51:33🔗
Adam
What about your buddy Mark, who comes in there, bugs every hot chick that comes into the studio? Yeah. What do you mean, yeah?
51:42🔗
Adam
You would have known. He was in the bushes, masturbating. You didn't see him, believe me. Blending right in.
51:56🔗
Adam
These guys do this for a business. There's a business about this. It's the same guys every time. I understand beautiful women always sells more product than fat guys, but it's weird. I think some guys get a thing out of having. Or they sell it.
52:24🔗
Adam
Those are your nutball friends. I'm talking about the guys who wait out front of this studio.
52:35🔗
Adam
That's right. Part Spaz. It's hard to tell. More Spaz than Loser. Sploosers are pretty good. It's always great when I have to leave and they have to remind me that I call them Sploosers. Fantastic. Big fans though. Drew, you know what, Drew? Let's take a call and then I got a question for you. I got a question for you. Samantha?
52:58🔗
Yes.
53:02🔗
Caller
Well, I had a physical exam and they ran a lot of tests. And one of them was a herpes test. And I was expecting to have herpes type 1 because I get cold sores a lot. But she told me I was negative for herpes type 1 and I had herpes type 2. And for some reason, my outbreaks are only in my mouth currently. But I want to know if I'm, like, prone at any moment to suddenly break out in genitals.
53:27🔗
Drew
No, here's the deal. First of all, I think the blood tests of herpes are relatively worthless. They're not pretty good. Secondly, the type of herpes you get is irrelevant. You can get two on your mouth. You can get one on your genitalia. That distinction between one being mouth and two being genitalia is simply not true.
53:46🔗
Drew
At one time, that's sort of predominately what was going around. But then people started...
53:54🔗
Leeann Tweeden
But don't they say herpes do not go away? You never get rid of them? You can suppress them, but they're always in your system.
53:59🔗
Drew
But all types, whether it's one or two. Two is a little more intense, particularly initial outbreak. I remember there was a national board question when I was a resident that had it that there was about a 20% incidence of meningitis in the initial outbreak of genital herpes type two. But you can get that in your mouth just as readily as on your genitalia. And people put their mouths in interesting places and that's how you get it.
54:24🔗
Caller
No, I'm not sure how I got it. I've had cold sorts for a long time. I've only had one partner. We're now married. He's only had me. He doesn't have it.
54:44🔗
Leeann Tweeden
He does have herpes and you have herpes too because you could have gotten it from him.
54:50🔗
Caller
Would it be better if like next time I have a cold sore to have them check the actual sore out?
54:56🔗
Drew
If you want to culture it, yeah, who cares? It's academic. It's a big deal, you're married, who cares?
55:05🔗
Leeann Tweeden
Well if they both are first time partners for each other, then how does herpes happen?
55:09🔗
Drew
Herpes one is just the environment. Pretty much everybody gets that on their mouth anyway. It's very, very common and you can get that transmitted if you have an outbreak and have oral sex and be transmitted to gentile pretty easily.
55:24🔗
Drew
The craziness about herpes, people freak out about the labels. You know, and here's a situation where it makes no difference from a health standpoint.
55:43🔗
Adam
Let me tell you how rich I am. I don't know who does my mortgages. Literally. Where's my top hat, Chris?
56:02🔗
Adam
How dare you? I have one in a scrunchie at every once in a while. Then pop it up before I do a big number. Drew, let's talk NuvaRing for just a moment.
56:12🔗
Adam
What is... I've been doing some reading on it. I've heard talk about it. I know there's a lot of controversy. Maybe you could sort of clear the NuvaRing fog.
56:22🔗
Drew
You have this contraceptive ring that gets inserted into the vagina and it stays there for about three weeks and you take it out, then you bleed, then you put it back in for three weeks. The question that somebody had fell off the line wanted to ask whether or not if they had sex during that first week, if they were adequately covered for contraception.
56:40🔗
Drew
After you put it in, you are actually not covered for that first week, the very first time you put it in.
56:44🔗
Leeann Tweeden
What about if she was on the pill before then and then switched to that type of contraceptive?
56:49🔗
Drew
It's an interesting question. It takes about seven days for the hormone to reach a peak level.
56:54🔗
Leeann Tweeden
So basically, she wasn't taking anything for seven days. Almost. So just don't risk it. Wear a condom. Abstain.
57:20🔗
Adam
I can recognize passion, I just can't contain it, that's the problem. His passion is like a bear that gets loose in a campsite. Only one way to stop it and that's a ranger's gun, it's a high powered rifle.
57:35🔗
Caller
Come on, the six hunters just got killed in the woods today and you're talking about that.
57:43🔗
Leeann Tweeden
A deer hunter guy shot the rest of these hunters because he was in their tree stand and it was crazy.
57:57🔗
Adam
Well, Drew, do I have to just go back there for four days to the couple of big ones that you missed?
58:01🔗
Drew
Yes, I missed them. But let me finish the new version. Let me just say one thing. There's a great question with that, which is, should that person, the caller that dropped off the line had had sex in that first week? And so the question is, should she use emergency contraceptive? Which is an interesting question. And I would say, yes, the first week, the first application of the NuvaRing, if you have an unintended event, I would use them.
58:26🔗
Adam
You know what I could watch? I could watch a show, an hour long show, maybe put on Fox Sports West. It's animals being drugged right before they hit the ground. You know when the polar bear gets hit with the dart, first it's surly, first few minutes it's just as good as it ever was. And then that part where it gets pissed off and then it gets a little dopey and then at a certain point it starts to fall over. I could just watch endless cuts of that. You go through the bear family, you go through the moose family, the bigger the animal the better.
58:58🔗
Adam
Yeah, I just need that one part, oh you know what's a nice one? Rhino. Oh jeez. It's snorting, it's doing its thing and it's that part you see inside, and it just tips over.
59:12🔗
Adam
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, they're awesome. Yeah, I would watch, just, and you wouldn't need any narration or anything, just put some music behind it.
59:20🔗
Adam
It's called animals being drugged. And it's also nice when they wake up too, that's the other one too.
59:28🔗
Leeann Tweeden
And their tongue is always hanging out and they're trying to keep their tongue from like swallowing their own tongue and then as they're coming to their eyes they're...
59:48🔗
Adam
No, he's a good guy, but it would be funny to see him get darted and see him come back. Alright, where are we going here, Drew?
59:59🔗
Adam
Anthony, well, don't give me service, we haven't played Germany or Florida yet. You know, we have to play it twice a night, it's already in the second hour. Anthony?
1:00:13🔗
Adam
Alright, do you have the story for us? We hear the bizarre story, Leeann, and then we decide, is it Germany or Florida? Go ahead, Anthony.
1:00:20🔗
Things are sick and twisted, from humans on the Nazis, No expense was spared. Sex, love, and death fetishes, both of them have got these, Guaranteed not the Boria, Germany or Florida.
1:00:30🔗
Drew
You hear how he cracks his own crap up by the end of that song. No, no, he's sort of smiling by the end of the song, in both versions.
1:00:41🔗
Caller
It appeared that a mystery attacker may have had some sort of foot fetish when he stopped a woman on the street to sniff her shoe and lick her foot. The woman claims she was walking around in the town square when a man grabbed her leg, fell to the ground and began sniffing her shoe. The publicity surrounding this latest attack reportedly encouraged another victim to come forward.
1:01:02🔗
Adam
I got it. Don't say anything. You know what I said? We need to write them down. That's it. That's it. That's what we need to do.
1:01:18🔗
Drew
Weird things happen. Weird stories emerge only from Germany and Florida or predominately Germany and Florida.
1:01:23🔗
Adam
That's right, Drew. Don't let me look. All right. We got our answers. All right. Now, should we have him give the answer and then we'll turn ourselves over? Why don't we do that? More exciting that way. I know good radio. And this is Nick.
1:01:44🔗
Adam
Anthony, give us the answer. Germany or Florida? Germany. Yeah. I got Germany. Germany. Germany.
1:02:00🔗
Drew
There's something about that idea of him actually getting down in the public. I'm not caring.
1:02:35🔗
Adam
Anybody can mess up once or twice. It's gone. Or should we bomb them again? I'd be for bombing them one more time. Let's hop back to the phones and wow, everyone took Germany there. Talk to Adam, who's 22, Adam?
1:02:55🔗
Caller
I want to know how does it feel to be in the presence of a real waffle crapper right now?
1:03:07🔗
Adam
We had an interesting discussion last night. I think we were talking about hot chicks and...
1:03:15🔗
Drew
Here's what happened. Here's what happened. Adam, we were talking about a woman called and said that her boyfriend lost direction in a certain position. Adam goes, oh, it's doggy, it's doggy. Why doggy? He gets a whiff of ass.
1:03:27🔗
Drew
That's what you said. I said, look, that doesn't make sense to me because if she were really hot, he'd get right through that.
1:03:34🔗
Drew
Then you went on to say, well, look, if Claudia Schiffer, you'd have her crap on your waffle in breakfast time. That's true.
1:03:48🔗
Adam
You know what, Drew? You were going good with that story, too, and then you got in your head. You heard your own voice and you lost your stuff.
1:04:02🔗
Drew
Here's the deal. The fact is, though... I know you wait for me to finish, but I'm not doing it every time. Then the next call was a woman who was sort of whiny and said, You're a hot girl. I know you're a hot chick. I said, Certainly somebody should have called you a waffle crapper one time in your life. That was where the term stuck.
1:04:19🔗
Adam
I don't like that word. I could go back and fix that story, but I don't have the energy. But it just means hot chick. We've decided. It was funny last night.
1:04:46🔗
Adam
It's just basically if a chick is hot, she could, you know, crap on your waffle in the morning and you'd be bagging for more and there's nothing grotesque. It's hard to be grossed out by a super hot chick, whereas when they're not, it's much easier to be grossed out by them.
1:05:04🔗
Adam
That was... Will Arnett in last night. Anyway, but believe me, you're in rarefied waffle crapping, Adam. We don't have many on this show. Yes, Drew? Yes, Adam. Adam? Rarefied.
1:05:20🔗
Adam
It was a good... Is it nice looking, Jen? But I don't know if guys can even qualify. No.
1:05:29🔗
Adam
Hey, Adam, what about... The repulsed look. What about four other guys? I mean, what if you're gay, would, you know, Mark Anthony be a waffle crapper? And by the way...
1:05:41🔗
Drew
That's the whole point. Thank you. That's the whole point, because guys can get through anything.
1:05:44🔗
Adam
Let me say something. Let me just tell everyone, Pat O'Brien, specifically, just because you're skinny and you're Mexican, you can sing, doesn't make you a heartthrob.
1:05:52🔗
Adam
There's some old Latin crooner heartthrob. Mark Anthony reminds me of like a Mexican Skeletor.
1:05:58🔗
Leeann Tweeden
Well, he kind of looks like a little rat or something. Yeah, yeah, no. I mean, I agree, dude. Personally, I do not find him attractive.
1:06:06🔗
Adam
And in that song, that hit of his blows such colossal ass. Well, first off, yeah, does he have a hit? I got to figure out something. He's never coming on the show. I say what I want. But how do some people get to be like international superstars and international heartthrobs and all this guy? Like look, Enrique Iglesias, I get it. He's nice looking, although I'm not sure about the singing part, but he's a great looking guy.
1:06:34🔗
Adam
It's all there. He's got a beautiful basket. He's got a beautiful package, whatever you want to call it. He's got a lovely, lovely load in his pants. No, that's not what I meant. I agree. Real waffle-crapping material. I agree with Leeann. I don't stare at the groin like Leeann, but I understand.
1:06:47🔗
Leeann Tweeden
No, I meant Package like, you know, he's not a great singer, but he's a good-looking guy. He dresses right. He does the right videos. He's got the girlfriend. It's the whole package.
1:06:56🔗
Adam
Mark Anthony, I don't understand that part, but he gets hottie after hottie and celebrity after celebrity. What's a skeletor?
1:07:25🔗
Adam
Do you realize that you two know the exact opposite things? Whatever Chris knows, you don't know, and vice versa? Yes. Although, look, it's not that much.
1:07:37🔗
Yes. No.
1:07:42🔗
Adam
What is the name of that song of his that blows so much ass, by the way, Mark Anthony? God, does that song blow. Okay. Chris, find out that.
1:08:01🔗
Leeann Tweeden
Whatever, you know, I'm not a singer, but yeah, yeah, yeah, that's the one song.
1:08:12🔗
Leeann Tweeden
And you probably hate it so much because you're probably singing it in your shower when you just least expect it.
1:08:16🔗
Adam
That song sucks. God, does that song suck? It blew so badly. Oh, my God, how much coke is being fed to the program directors? Well, him too, but how much coke is there going to these idiots that they got to play this garbage and poison everyone's mind? God, did that song blow ass? True, it's unfortunate you don't know the song.
1:08:38🔗
Adam
I'm done. What is it? How does it work? What don't you know? What do you know? Skeletor?
1:08:46🔗
Adam
He's a hot Latin heartthrob. He's a heartthrob. Do you get to be like an international record superstar and have one crappy song?
1:09:10🔗
Drew
By the way, hang on a second, Melissa, why weren't people making more of what Jennifer Lopez did to Ben Affleck? They're dating, they're engaged, she breaks up and gets married to somebody else two weeks later?
1:09:25🔗
Leeann Tweeden
I think it's brutal, but I think it's also self-worth issues with her, don't you think?
1:09:33🔗
Drew
But think the brutality of that kind of behavior towards somebody who actually was trying to have a relationship with her. No one discusses that. What is that?
1:09:47🔗
Leeann Tweeden
Tough. I think it will, too. She's beautiful and she's from the country. I think she's from West Virginia.
1:10:24🔗
Drew
People that do speed get something called Picker Syndrome. They start believing that there's something under the skin, a bug or a piece of glass, and they start picking and picking and picking. They erode their skin and cause ulcers all over the place. Face, arms, and that's what he's got.
1:10:38🔗
Caller
Yeah, basically. Okay, well, I don't do speed. I've noticed now that I'm starting to get them, and I was wondering, is there a possibility from having sex with him without a condom that I could be getting the same thing?
1:11:10🔗
Caller
Like on my face and on my arms. But not bad, but just enough to where I know they're not normal.
1:11:38🔗
Adam
Well, something's going on with Melissa. Melissa, let's forget about your skin for a second, talk about your brain. You've been with this guy for 10 years.
1:11:56🔗
Caller
Well, I kept on confining him. He was sore up and down. No, no. And then one of his friends came and told me, oh, yes, he is.
1:12:07🔗
Leeann Tweeden
Don't you know if you're with a speed addict? I mean, it's not like they can...
1:12:11🔗
Drew
Except if your dad was an alcoholic addict. He's trying to come and expect that kind of thing. Melissa?
1:12:33🔗
Caller
I don't know. Until my mom. They got divorced when I was really young. All I know is they never saw him very much. But he did leave me at the treasury once and took off and moved away.
1:13:01🔗
Adam
People by the way never get tired of using a local landmark on the show who call from distant places. It never gets tiring. I don't know how that works, but it's like, oh no, where does he work? Into Quigley's. The Quigley Joes. Quigley? Quigley Joes? No, nothing.
1:13:26🔗
Drew
Nothing? He says they're calling from New Brunswick. They're like, they're just on to the next thing.
1:13:41🔗
Adam
He left you, okay. He's a bad guy. It seems like maybe you got a bad guy. Ten years with the same guy, you say, I asked you, why haven't you been married or you're not married? And you said, not yet. You've been with the guy for ten years. Do you think you're going to get married and why would you want to get married?
1:14:19🔗
Adam
You've been with this guy since you were a senior in high school. What are you talking about? You're almost 30.
1:14:31🔗
Drew
Yeah, but why would you cling to a guy that's a severe emphatomia and can lie to you? And by the way, just to answer your question. It's a therefore excuse the last nine years.
1:14:47🔗
Adam
All right, Melissa, let's go, baby. Come on. Okay, you had a crappy dad. You and everyone else in America. Let's get it together.
1:14:55🔗
Drew
Melissa, here's the one thing. Just to answer your question. The one thing you could get from him that could cause little ulcers like that would be scabies. And he is an addict, so he would be at risk for scabies. He probably does not. It's probably merely a picker syndrome. And God knows living around somebody like that can make you anxious enough to start picking on yourself.
1:15:11🔗
Adam
All right, let's go. It's 10 years. You wasted 10 years. Let's break it down. Let's go. Break yourself free. You're not a junkie. Your dad's an a-hole. So now move on. Let's go. Get some therapy. Dump this guy. Move on. Exactly. Well, Leeann Tweeden is here. We'll take a real world-class waffle crapper. We'll take ourselves maybe the crappiest of the waffle crappers. Oh, no. The waffle-est of the crappin waffles. All right. We'll work that out, Drew. I know it doesn't sound good, but it is. Take a quick break. We'll be right back after this.
1:16:19🔗
Adam
Phone number, 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1, Leeann Tweeden is here tonight. It's here on Best Gamsport Show Carried. Also, you can find her on the cover of this month's FHM Magazine. Actually, December. FHM Magazine, but it's out now. And yeah, the big holiday extravaganza. She's right in the middle there. She's prone and poised and lookin good in her underpants. Some say the bra's comin off. Others say it's goin on, Drew.
1:17:32🔗
Adam
Drew's pointing at a picture in a magazine, by the way, if anyone wants to know what he's doing.
1:17:35🔗
Leeann Tweeden
Why does everyone have teen angst? Why is everyone so angry when life is so good, Dr. Drew?
1:17:42🔗
Drew
No, because we all were endowed with the same privileges that you and adolescents were endowed with. Adam and I had misery during adolescence.
1:17:49🔗
Leeann Tweeden
No, but I mean, why do people that have everything in the world, why are they so miserable?
1:17:54🔗
Leeann Tweeden
Yeah, or people that have success, people that have money, and they have everything in the world at their feet, and they're still angry.
1:18:00🔗
Drew
It's like taking your brain and putting it in any other environment. If your brain is not healthy, you can take it to St. Louis or Pasadena, you're still gonna be depressed, you're still gonna have trouble with your relationships, and ultimately, really, it's all about the interpersonal experience. Ultimately, it's the capacity to experience yourself and other people fully.
1:18:28🔗
Adam
Drew, you look at people's receptacles for your passion. I mean, let's be honest, you don't see them. You just see them as walking empty passion buckets for which you receive your passion. He does.
1:18:54🔗
Adam
Must be so nice. Way to start going the other side of the mountain. I went down that about six years ago. Still free falling, by the way. Rose? Yeah, I'm gonna talk to you because you've been on hold for 113 minutes. The world's greatest doctor didn't wanna talk to you. Didn't deem your problem as important.
1:19:13🔗
Drew
I remember Rose liking it tonight, take some codeine, smoke a little heroin. As you remember, Rose, we were going to your call about an hour ago, but Corolla, something took a sidetrack to something else.
1:19:29🔗
Adam
No, because I'm required by the FCC to play Germany or Florida every 20 minute break. Like I gotta give the call letters out. You understand? We could get into trouble. We could lose our license.
1:19:42🔗
Adam
Rose? All right, so you're 20. You haven't had your period in two years. And now make it two and a half years because you've been on hold for six months.
1:19:55🔗
Caller
No, I used to dance like this when I was younger, but I used to have my first period when I was 10. And seriously, it's been so sporadic like every couple of years.
1:20:04🔗
Drew
All right, well hold on, hold on, hold on. Now, the fact that you were 10, the sort of weight threshold for menses is about 110 pounds. So a 10 year old at 110 pounds means you're a pretty good size, right?
1:20:19🔗
Adam
Well, so Drew, is it, I mean, it's about age, but it's also, you just can't have one at 80 pounds.
1:20:26🔗
Drew
Right, well, it tends to be at certain age ranges of weight threshold. And the other thing that, so me, my thinking starts going, well, maybe, are you overweight now? Yeah, because when you're fat, it can cause an ovulatory cycles. It can, the adipose tissue produces estrogen and it suppresses the ovulation. And so you can be, and also can be, heavy can be associated with.
1:20:51🔗
Adam
The right side's more of a little piece, but the left side, real waffle crapper. Yeah, I hope that's the side you get on a Saturday night.
1:20:59🔗
Leeann Tweeden
Right, like a ballerina, that's why a lot of ballerinas don't have their balls for years, or haven't had it for years.
1:21:04🔗
Drew
Eating disorder, ballerina. Again, you're below that 110 pound threshold sometimes. The body tries to conserve itself. But the other thing, Rose, is that overweight is also suggestive of polycystic ovarian disease. So does anybody have a, overweight or?
1:21:15🔗
Caller
Well, seriously, like, I've had so many tests. I've had something wrong, possibly, with my pituitary gland, or the aneurysm system.
1:21:24🔗
Drew
Relax, relax. Boy, people, they love making a drama out of this. It means your hypothalamic-pituitary axis doesn't cycle normally. That's what they're telling you. It's sort of, rhythmicity is awful, which is a very common thing. But I bet you, some of it has to be due to the adipose tissue, the fat tissue, producing estrogen and suppressing ovulation. And I would look into the question of polycystic ovary. I would lose weight and get some exercise going and see if your periods don't return a little bit.
1:21:55🔗
Adam
Five foot, 180. All right, I was gonna do the radio math, but I'll go with you on that. First off, it's your folks, their fault for naming you Rose. That's a heavy set name. Oh, it isn't? What's your real one, Delia? Cause that's the heavier name.
1:22:30🔗
Adam
Well, then, because we have to decide whether it's a fat name or not, decide what kind of diet to put you on, an exercise program. Based on your name. It was Genie or something. If Renee is a husky name, that's a different... If you're a dude named Renee, you're fat. That's a tough name.
1:22:49🔗
Adam
Yeah. Well, that's what he'd love you to think, but unfortunately, he's got a weight problem.
1:23:02🔗
Adam
Tammy can be a fat chick, which he puts out, so it sort of evens out. All right, let's get back to Rose. Rose.
1:23:10🔗
Caller
Okay, but since the regular ovulations aside, I was wondering, I've only had a couple of mothers and I've used condoms. I've had them wear condoms every time. I'm wondering, I was with somebody for a long time and we were both tested. We don't know how many have PDs. What would be the possibility or the probability of me getting pregnant without a condom or without...
1:23:33🔗
Drew
You still should consider yourself fertile. You don't know when you're gonna ovulate. You can't predict that.
1:23:49🔗
Caller
No, I'm actually a college student. I'm majoring in business. There's quite a few things I could go into, but not a nurse is at home.
1:23:59🔗
Adam
All right, you get your MBA and then it's payback time for the Jets. Oh, yes. Oh, didn't wanna go to the prom, huh? All right, you're fired.
1:24:15🔗
Adam
Oh, it's tough when you're short and you're thick. I hear these commercials for like these diet pills and they're like, when dieting and exercise aren't enough. It's like, what do you mean? We're not, look, I guarantee we'll get the weight off with diet, you know.
1:24:30🔗
Leeann Tweeden
Oh, yeah. Oh, what about the one that's like, this isn't for just the slightly overweight. I mean, like, that's gonna hook everyone.
1:24:41🔗
Adam
I love that. I love that guy, like, look, I'm Dr. Cinnamone. If you're even a little bit over five or 10 pounds, no offense, but this isn't for you. Yeah, I love that scam. I like that one too. Like, look, I got a money-making opportunity. If you're only interested in making a couple hundred bucks a week, please talk to somebody else. Don't waste my time. If you're interested in making millions of dollars a year, and we can talk, but please be up front with me. Tell me, do you just want to make like 85 bucks a month? Because if you do, there's other places you come. I'm trying to be respectful. My program, you make hundreds of thousands of dollars a month.
1:25:17🔗
Adam
Yeah, and with my program, you lose, the pounds melt away. You're not interested in that, are you? You just want to lose four or five pounds, right?
1:25:24🔗
Leeann Tweeden
You'd be a trazillionaire if you created a pill that just melted fat away from people.
1:25:28🔗
Adam
Yeah, but by the way, you do nothing but eat grapefruits and run 20 miles a day, and the weight's gonna come off. Eventually, it's gonna come off.
1:25:45🔗
Adam
Here's a problem I had. The guys, before they got on the scale, I mean, they're like fighters going into the weigh-in. They did it up. Yeah, they did it up. No, they got down to the shorts in the underpants.
1:25:57🔗
Adam
Seeing a lot of man boob. And when you're a guy and you were formerly 395 and you're now down to a svelte to 295, 310, you got some man boob at Johnny.
1:26:13🔗
Adam
You're packing a C-cup and you got this weird, there's a weird thing that the guys have where the nipple sticks straight out, like someone just taped the coaster to them. Like the nipple doesn't, like in a woman, the nipple sort of head down a little bit. This is weird because there's a big fat deposit and then the nipple's like a, anyway. I was staring at miles of man boob and first off I thought in our head is, could I please see some sack to cleanse my palate? Please, I need to see sack. That's the sorbet on my palate. I've been looking at man boob for two hours now. I actually looked at my own sack.
1:26:55🔗
Adam
Flung it over and then pow, right over the head. See light coming through it, actually. The point is, is what, you know, it's all this FCC nonsense, but really it's okay to look at just sort of morbidly obese, sort of grotesque man, you know, nothing but stretch marks and man boob. By the way, you can't show a drawing of a chip.
1:27:18🔗
Adam
You can't see a drawing of the nipples without tiling them out. What's going on? Look, either something's offensive or it isn't. Aren't we at that point?
1:27:25🔗
Drew
And they had a good sense of having attractive heavy women. The women were somewhat attractive.
1:27:34🔗
Adam
If that woman showed a little ass crack, they would have to tile it right out. But meanwhile, acres of man boob, one after there. And they did all the guys. I was just watching. I was like, the next guy up, next guy up, next guy up. So hundreds of man boobs.
1:27:47🔗
Leeann Tweeden
I was on Fox News the other morning and they did show the magazine and everything had a little swoosh. Just even like over the little crack or just over the little, yeah. Even though it's not showing anything, they just took them completely, they're so conservative, they completely just put a little ribbon cover over it. And I'm like, oh my gosh, you would think that if I was looking at it and didn't know what this magazine was, I'd be like, oh my gosh, she's naked. I mean, really.
1:28:21🔗
Adam
Yeah, we once, many years ago, it seems like a more innocent time for the Man Show, actually confronted the executives over at Comedy Central and asked them how much ass crack could we show? And they got together-
1:28:33🔗
Adam
Male or female, actually it's both. They went together, they got together, they had a meeting on it.
1:28:39🔗
Adam
They came back and they said, you can show one quarter. One quarter of an, not a quarter inch, quarter of a crack. Quarter of a crack.
1:29:03🔗
Adam
Right, right, it's just a straight line. And so if the average person has nine inches or 10 inches of ass crack, you could show two and a half inches or three.
1:29:15🔗
Adam
The quarter of that person's ass crack. So if you've got a ton of crack, you might be able to show three, four feet of it.
1:29:24🔗
Drew
Everyone that came on the Man Shredder, they were ass crack measured. Yeah. Yeah, okay.
1:29:28🔗
Adam
We had actually, I worked out something. It's a sort of a variation of what they call the Brannock device. They used to measure feet at the shoe store. Remember that one? This is for, it's slapped in. There was a lawsuit because someone got something pinched.
1:29:39🔗
Leeann Tweeden
So wait, so does the FCC send out guidebooks for y'all? Is that actually in there?
1:29:43🔗
Adam
No. No, but we immediately invented three-quarter-ass shorts and had people wearing the three-quarter-ass shorts.
1:29:50🔗
Leeann Tweeden
So it's kinda like girls that wear low-cut pants anyways, right? You kinda sorta, you know, they're so low that you sorta get that top part of the car.
1:29:57🔗
Adam
I just would like to have people decide on what's offensive, not what crosses the sexual line. You know, we can have a Joe Rogan screamer of a guy eating much maggots.
1:30:07🔗
Adam
That's right. What about the atheist who don't wanna see the man boob, don't wanna see the guy burying his face in Otter whiz, eating a maggot encrusted Rocky Mountain oyster with Joe Rogan screaming at them. How about the guy just like to see a little woman boob? The rest of the show is gonna be commercial. We don't break. All right, quiet there. So we gotta take a break. We'll be right back after this.
1:31:15🔗
Adam
Yeah, get it on, boy. I'll tell you, you gotta get it on. Break it down and get it on. Leeann Tweeden here tonight. Yeah, she's on the cover of FHM Magazine. Ah, it's Uncle Getting Sex Changed. All right, let's, Leeann, we got a question for Leeann. We'll take that and then we'll do a sex change operation question. Vladimir?
1:31:37🔗
20, yeah. How's it going, Adam? Just wanna say, you know, you're my god among gods, Dr. Drew, you're a passionate, passionate man.
1:31:43🔗
Say hi to Leeann.
1:31:50🔗
Caller
Huge fan, just thought she was super gorgeous, thought she was awesome, sorry, I'm 5'4, 3'2, 1, but that show got canceled, unfortunately. So just wondering, what could we expect from you in the future? Any new shows or acting?
1:32:03🔗
Leeann Tweeden
You know, we're working on some stuff. You know, I'm not interested in acting, but we're working on some new stuff over at Fox. We're doing some pre-Super Bowl stuff that I'll be doing and possibly working on another show for the network, actually, a sports show that I can't really go into right now. But, you know, stuff down the line for sure. But still a lot of sports and maybe a pilot talk television or so next to...
1:32:26🔗
Leeann Tweeden
I'm a little bit. I'm getting ready to do some with Tony Hawk and the Boom Boom Huck Jam. It'll be a special on Fox. That'll air right before the Super Bowl. So yeah, yeah, I'm still thrown around that circle and, you know, I know all those people and I know all the sports. So definitely, I never stray too far.
1:32:48🔗
Adam
The Corolla pose, I think you're pardoned. It's the one where she has her thumb on the side of her panties.
1:33:04🔗
Adam
No, that's fetal position. That one, yes. That's, no. It's the one where he's in fetal position begging for his nuts back from his wife.
1:33:39🔗
Caller
Yeah, he's always been the black sheep of the family. We were, my stepmom was looking on the internet about it. We were trying to find out what the, what would have caused this psychological problem or whatever to make us.
1:33:55🔗
Adam
A lot of water under the bridge, though. I mean, as far as you go, Brad, you're 16. There's no way you could chain yourself to a bulldozer in front of the surgeon's office. He's not going to do anything.
1:34:13🔗
Drew
By the way, my thing, I think you would agree, Adam, too, whatever people want to do, great, fantastic. Keep it to yourself.
1:34:19🔗
Adam
Yeah, it's going to be difficult, though, on Thanksgiving when you show up looking like a dastardly...
1:34:26🔗
Drew
I understand that it makes it difficult for families to adjust, but it gets broadcasted a lot.
1:34:38🔗
Leeann Tweeden
Don't they have to get hormonally prepared? Yeah, they have to sort of prepare their bodies, prepare their minds.
1:34:44🔗
Drew
Do you think the knuckles should have lured everybody when he was going under the knife?
1:34:50🔗
Adam
Here's what I'm saying. As a family member, the less time this could be rolling around my nog and the better for me, you know what I mean? It's like if I found out someone was sick in my family, I'd like them to die the next day. I don't want to live with it for a year. Maybe I'd kill them. No, but it doesn't work like that. All right, that's all I'm saying. For me, if someone said my dad's going to get a sex change operation and get made into a man, I'd have to add a penis to him, Drew. That would be a sex change operation for my pussy dad.
1:35:43🔗
Adam
I want to thank Leeann Tweeden for coming in here, dear, dear friend, for stopping by. And doing the Lord's work. God bless you, baby doll. FHM, everybody, on Newsstands as we speak and, of course, at Best Stand Sports Show Period. So, until next time, I'm Adam Carolla for Dr. Drew saying Mahalo.
1:36:06🔗
Caller
The opinions expressed in this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or this station. The producer for Loveline is Aningold. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.