Monday, November 8, 2004

0:07🔗 Voiceover Loveline.

0:09🔗 Voiceover Loveline is meant for an adult audience.

0:10🔗 Voiceover Loveline may contain sexually-oriented content.

0:15🔗 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised.

0:17🔗 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised. This is Loveline.

0:27🔗 Voiceover Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Dr. Drew, board certified physician, Dictionary of Medicine Specialists. I actually ran into the studio tonight, Drew.

0:38🔗 Drew With four seconds to spare. That's good.

0:40🔗 Adam Four seconds. Six?

0:42🔗 Drew Six seconds?

0:43🔗 Adam Six seconds.

0:44🔗 Drew I exaggerate. I beg your pardon. How dare you?

0:47🔗 Adam That's like 33% more seconds.

0:49🔗 Drew You're right. It depends how you look at it.

0:50🔗 Adam Yeah, it's really...

0:52🔗 Drew It's 50% more, really.

0:53🔗 Adam Yeah, it really is. Yeah. Thank you. Thank you. Well, I had a crucial decision to make, which is I was low on gas. Oh, yeah. Should we go for it or stop? I got off the freeway at about 10 of, and I thought, well, if I go straight... It's 10 of now. If I go straight to the studio, what am I going to do? Make small talk with Drew for three and a half minutes? No. I'll gas up.

1:17🔗 Drew Well, let me think. There's another thought, too. It's like stop and get gas at midnight before I get home? No way.

1:22🔗 Adam No way. No way.

1:23🔗 Drew I'm not letting you stop and get your medicine on the way, but you can't do that in California.

1:26🔗 Adam But I was doing that thing, so I was like, you know that thing where you're gassing up and you're like, hurry, come on. And by the way, here's a gas station I would go to, one that said...

1:34🔗 Drew Fast pumps.

1:36🔗 Adam Fast pumps. It's like inspired by NASCAR.

1:40🔗 Drew Yeah, yeah.

1:41🔗 Adam You know what I mean? We'll just dump 28 gallons of fuel in the SUV.

1:43🔗 Drew I think I was talking about your life is spent twiddling your thumbs with those damn pumps.

1:47🔗 Adam Yeah, and it's basically all you're doing is reading the warning that says vapors may cause cancer. You're reading that. There's some dude who wants to clean your windshield with a sports page. And in Southern California, here's basically what you got. You got the warning labels everywhere, just what causes cancer, the fumes and all that kind of stuff. Then you got sort of the crazy homeless guys you're just attracted to. And then the seedy dicey guys. Then if you look over to the left, you'll see the bathroom out of order. The sign was written in 1961. Actually, it was written in gothic lettering. Ye olde...

2:22🔗 Drew In Latin.

2:22🔗 Adam In Latin. Out of order. Because it's been a few thousand years since the thing is, the head is... Actually, I'm sure it works fine for the employees. It's just they don't want you using it.

2:34🔗 Drew Well, then the employees are there looking through the pool of proof glass.

2:37🔗 Adam Then you can go... It's really like going to the Monterey Aquarium, if you like Asians and other crazy cultures. You get to stare at a guy. Oh, look at him. Yeah, it's the elusive, striped Middle Eastern guy.

2:51🔗 Drew You don't see too many of them. You went with the guy that won't get to the Snickers bar off the counter two inches away from him.

2:56🔗 Adam Yeah, the guy just gave me the...

2:57🔗 Drew Same guy.

2:57🔗 Adam The guy giving me the stink eye just sitting there behind the counter. She got that. And of course, you're thinking when the shooting begins, he's basically in a cocoon, and you're standing next to several thousand gallons of fuel.

3:08🔗 Drew Perfect.

3:08🔗 Adam It's basically the way it goes. So then you stand next to the thing, and you're like, hurry, hurry, but you want to fill up. Even if you come six ounces from filling up, there's a thing that makes it, you want it to click.

3:20🔗 Drew Yes.

3:20🔗 Adam You know what I mean?

3:21🔗 Drew I know.

3:21🔗 Adam And then it's like, well, I'm looking at my watch, like, the show's going to start. Should I just click it off now? But all this trouble. I got another gallon and a half. Let's go, baby. Then I start making deals with myself. When it gets to 30 bucks, I'll pull it out. I don't care what it is. No, I'm going for 35. I'm making a run. That's my whole thing. And it clicked. And then I ran.

3:41🔗 Drew And you made it.

3:41🔗 Adam And I made it.

3:42🔗 Drew Genius.

3:42🔗 Adam And look at me. And I have an interesting story to tell. I'll tell you what. I'll tell you part of the reason it took me a little while to get here tonight is I saw my least favorite thing, my biggest beef in the world on the freeway was the saw the dude on the police auction motorcycle wearing the white helmet and the black jacket doing 54 with a nice line of cars behind him. It's really he you become the pace car at that point. You're waiting for this guy to pull off the track so you can begin the race because people and here's what I realized too. People are sort of animals like, you know, you watch those nature films that they'll be like some guy will take a barrel, put two sticks on it, some antlers and a moose will be humping it. They just see outlines and shadows and people are sort of stupid and out of it and if they just see, well, let's see, I see the full face, I see the full plexiglass fairing. I see what looks like the kawasaki look, those guys wearing a black. That's a cop. That's all they need. Now I creep up. I'm the animal that gets a little closer. I'm the raccoon. Yes. I get a look. I pull up a little and I check the guy out and I know this ain't a cop and I immediately take off. But I think what an a-hole. He knows everyone behind him thinks he's a cop. And, by the way, is everyone okay with this guy?

5:03🔗 Drew I'm surprised you didn't pull in front of him and slow down.

5:05🔗 Adam He's a pillar of society, this a-hole. This guy is living at home. This guy has no juice at all. And is there any guy worse than this guy? The guy who has zero juice except for for these fleeting instance. Like he's the guy who's standing at the door at the movie theater telling you you can't run out to your car and get your wallet. You're going to have to pay. And you do that thing where you go, well, look, hold my stub. I can you know, here's my wallet, I can't let you do it. That guy's the most dangerous guy in society. It's just an ounce of juice. He gets to use it twice a year. That's what this guy is. Poor pathetic sap living at home, probably doing that thing, probably lactates a little bit, probably like masturbates and cries and looks at a picture of his deceased grandparents and rubs his nipples a little and puts on a little rouge and like clown shoes. But he goes, oh, but he's got an extra 900 bucks to spend at the police auction. So he gets the police auction bike. He buys the helmet. He puts the black jacket on and then he cruises at 49 on the freeway. Everyone stays behind him. Oh, he's got juice. These guys never speed, by the way. If I look like a cop, I would go full tilt with it. I have sirens rolling. I'd be going 90. We'd be weaving it out of traffic. Not these guys. They drive half speed and their thing is a kiss my ass America. We must stop these guys. It's up to all of us. High beams, horn honking. It drives me insane. I don't know if they do this in other cities. By the way, why is it okay to just sell surplus police stuff to the public? Oh, yeah. Oh, no. It's a black and white unit. We took the DARE bumper sticker off and we pulled the shotgun out of the rack. They're ready to roll. Really? It's okay just to have guys driving around cop cars, essentially?

6:51🔗 Drew Yeah.

6:52🔗 Adam I don't like that.

6:53🔗 Drew It is really... How is it different than walk around in a uniform that signifies policeman to fire my doctor or whatever?

6:59🔗 Adam It's... You have a bigger audience. That's the only part that's different. Why not just... Yeah, cop uniforms. Wear a cop uniform? Go ahead. No one can tell.

7:09🔗 Drew Hold badges.

7:09🔗 Adam Yeah. What we'll do is we don't actually give you a badge number. But other than that, from anything further than four feet, you look like a cop. Yeah. Here's a fake gun. Yeah. Oh, I want to kill these guys. Listen, if you guys are listening, please take that motorcycle, point it toward the ocean and just drive it right into it. You have no lives. I know you. I know your type. Just kill yourself. No one's going to miss you. What are you going to do? You think you're going to get laid? Huh? What do you think you got? What do you think your future is? Who do you think is going to miss you? Nobody. Just do me a favor. Just take the bike, point it toward the ocean, and just drop it in a gear, drop the clutch, spin the back wheel, and just haul ass right in the Pacific Ocean. Please.

7:51🔗 Drew Would the pal say it's the Pacific Ocean? I'll ride off the cruise.

7:53🔗 Adam Go out in a blaze of glory. Please. Please do this. There you go. You know what would be a thrill? Is if during one of those hellish gang initiations where they have to shoot a cop, they just mistook these guys for cops and shoot them. That'd be awesome. That's what you call Darwin. It worked. That's nature at its best. That's Darwin taking out the garbage. That'd be awesome, wouldn't it? Yeah.

8:20🔗 Drew Plant the seed.

8:21🔗 Adam All right. Are you ready to rock?

8:24🔗 Drew Let's go.

8:25🔗 Adam Stripper. He's got advice. Alex?

8:30🔗 Guest Yeah.

8:32🔗 Adam Yeah. Good. What's happening?

8:36🔗 Guest Not much. I was actually listening to your guys' show. I guess it was from yesterday or something, and you guys weren't talking very nicely about strippers.

8:47🔗 Adam Well, we weren't saying anything bad about strippers, but I just had too much information, I think, was the decree. Too much talk about their kids, too much talk about their ex-old man stabbing them, too much talk about their stepdad feeling them up.

9:03🔗 Guest No, I understand. Well, one of the callers had a question about how to approach a stripper if you wanted to, I guess, have a relationship with her outside of the club.

9:12🔗 Adam Are you a stripper?

9:13🔗 Guest I have a couple of points of advice.

9:14🔗 Adam You're a stripper?

9:15🔗 Guest I am a stripper, yes.

9:17🔗 Adam Are you currently stripping?

9:18🔗 Guest I prefer the term dancing.

9:19🔗 Adam What? Sure.

9:21🔗 Drew That makes all the difference.

9:22🔗 Adam By the way, here's how you know you have a bad... There's two...

9:25🔗 Drew Whatever job it is.

9:26🔗 Adam Whatever job it is, if you have to modify it. You're a garbage man, a sanitation technician, do they have to do that, correct people, what everyone wants to call your job? Oh, so you're a meter man, a parking enforcement person. Whenever you have to do that, it means your job sucks.

9:41🔗 Drew You don't hear it. Is here a senator? No, I prefer the... Right.

9:46🔗 Adam You don't hear it that. You don't hear CEOs, attorneys, doctors, no one ever changes the title except for strippers, garbage men and parking enforcement pussies. Let's...

9:57🔗 Drew So she'll tell you.

9:58🔗 Adam Yeah, Alex. First off, topless and bottomless?

10:01🔗 Guest No, I only do topless.

10:04🔗 Adam I'd like to do a club where it was just bottomless, just confuse the crowd. And what's the name of your club, by the way?

10:13🔗 Guest It's called the Paper Moon and it's in Little Rock.

10:18🔗 Adam That's good. I like Bob's Classy Lady.

10:22🔗 Guest Why was that?

10:23🔗 Adam I like Bob's Classy Lady. I don't know why, but the Classy Lady and you know, they're out in Van Nuys, so you know they have only the classiest of ladies out there. If I wanted to pick you up, what would be the best way to do it at your club?

10:39🔗 Guest Well, there was a guy on the show who said exactly what you need to do. You need to go in there, do not get dances, because then you immediately go from like person to customer. So don't get dances, but give them money. That is very important. Let them know that their time is valuable, because then that makes them feel special.

11:00🔗 Adam So just walk in, here's the attache case filled with the small unmarked bills, several thousand dollars.

11:07🔗 Drew You said last night $150 an hour to sit and talk, remember? Was that David Algritt said that?

11:12🔗 Adam It's probably.

11:13🔗 Guest Well, I mean, the bottom line is we're at work, and although we would love to sit there and have conversations with people, like we are at work, we got to make our money.

11:21🔗 Adam Right. So you should, so they sit down and they say, so you sit down, let's have a, okay, let's do it. Let's do it. Anderson, put a little music on, by the way, really set the mood. So I'm just sitting there. I'm just drinking a Rolling Rock and you come up to me. Yeah. Yeah. Why don't you have a seat, you know? Give my laugh a rest.

11:54🔗 Guest Would you like a dance?

11:55🔗 Adam You know what? Tell you the truth, I just got one and I came. No. Tell you the truth, I just walked in, I'm just enjoying a beer, but how about you just hang out with me and I'll buy you a beer and whatever your rate is, I'll double it.

12:15🔗 Guest Sounds good.

12:16🔗 Adam Is that how it works?

12:18🔗 Guest And that's perfect, especially the doubling it part.

12:22🔗 Adam So, you pay him money, you don't get a lap dance and then what? Now, here's my theory.

12:27🔗 Drew She has to tell you her real name, you said.

12:29🔗 Adam Oh yeah, the real name. If you can get the real name out of them, that's important.

12:33🔗 Guest Yeah, that is actually a little bit important. That means that if you get their phone number, then that's really important because I don't think I've ever given out my phone number once.

12:42🔗 Adam What about this though? Here's my thing. I contend that you say to them, what time do you get off work and if they say, I can leave whenever I want, you're in.

12:53🔗 Guest You know, I got to disagree with you on that one because a lot of, well, I mean, I've worked at a lot of different clubs and you can't leave whenever you want. So, I mean, if I really did want to meet somebody outside, I probably still wouldn't say that.

13:07🔗 Adam No, you wouldn't. See, it seems like every one I've ever been into, they just set their own hours.

13:11🔗 Drew How do you feel about guys? Aren't you sort of getting disgusted with men at that point and guys that are coming to the club? Yeah, aren't you already sort of turned off by just the guy even being in that club?

13:20🔗 Guest Yeah. That is very true. I started doing this a little over two years ago, and at first, it was kind of sexy, and you felt nice having this power over them or whatever. But now, the minute they walk through the door, I kind of respect those down quite a bit.

13:37🔗 Drew It's disgust, right? So, how do you ever have a relationship with a male after that?

13:42🔗 Guest I was lucky enough to where I had a boyfriend when I started dancing.

13:50🔗 Drew How do you maintain your respect for him or your feelings of...

13:53🔗 Adam He doesn't go in the club.

13:55🔗 Drew Yeah, but still, I think men in general go down a huge notch for you, don't they?

13:59🔗 Guest I mean, it's a little difficult, but I guess you go through varying degrees. At first, you're all gung-ho, and then after a while, you get really bitter and just scrimmage, and then you balance it out after you get used to it.

14:14🔗 Adam So let me say this, your advice is don't get the lap dance, have the conversation.

14:19🔗 Drew She said don't come in the club.

14:20🔗 Adam Don't come in the club. Talk to them through the mail slot. Just have it, okay, go in there, don't get a lap dance, but pay them a lot.

14:30🔗 The thing is, the thing is that we...

14:34🔗 Adam That is...

14:35🔗 Drew And by the way, then the respect shifts. Now, the woman's, the guy's respect to the woman goes... At that point.

14:44🔗 Adam This is horrible advice. All right, let's see. Alex. Yes. All right, so far, me and David Allen Grier's advice is better than yours. Okay. Because you're saying just go in there, don't get a lap dance. Where should you... Now, as a stripper, when you're on stage, you see the guys in the audience, right? Where would you like the guys sitting, up on the edge of the stage or a few rows back? Where do you have the most respect for him?

15:11🔗 Guest Personally, I like it when guys are there, just like with one other guy, and you can just tell they're having a good time. Whether they're sitting right up front or in the back, it doesn't really matter. As long as they're not in a big group, because that's kind of intimidating, and you can just tell that they're enjoying themselves, and that they're not trying to get in your pants.

15:30🔗 Adam How much for a lap dance, by the way, in Arkansas?

15:33🔗 Guest It depends. We have three different kinds of lap dances at the time we work at. There's the $20 dance, and then there's the $50 dance, and then there's the $125 dance.

15:43🔗 Adam That's where you get the hot wanks and the buff. $120 dance?

15:49🔗 Yeah. What?

15:50🔗 Adam Now, how long does that dance go on?

15:52🔗 Guest 20 minutes.

15:54🔗 Adam 20 minutes? Yeah. And what does that involve?

15:57🔗 Guest It depends on the girl you get.

16:00🔗 Adam Oh, really?

16:00🔗 Guest The one's a little different. Well, I mean, the club here, actually, the one I work at, is really conservative.

16:10🔗 Adam They're run by a Christian coalition. It's a group of born-again and Christian fundamentalists who got together and used some of the money that they'd raised doing missionary work. They're Calvinists who actually are starting it in new-to-history clubs. They're very conservative. Yeah. They have, you know, it's not just, it doesn't just show up in the lap dancing, but there's other, you know, there's no finger-blasting, for instance. The drinks, they only serve Jägermeister and Absolute Vodka, but they won't have like tequila and they're pretty, and there's, there's symbols of Christ everywhere.

16:56🔗 Drew Of course.

16:57🔗 Adam Everywhere. And the one, the creepy one where the eyes follow you. Picture Jesus with the thorns where...

17:03🔗 Drew I'm getting creeped up by this discussion.

17:04🔗 Adam When you're walking from the ATM to the, to the booth, to the...

17:08🔗 Drew Stranger doesn't slow the guy down.

17:09🔗 Adam To the champagne room.

17:10🔗 Drew Yeah, I know.

17:11🔗 Adam The eyes follow you. Yeah. All right.

17:13🔗 Drew That stops him.

17:14🔗 Adam All right. Carrie? Sixteen?

17:19🔗 Drew What's up?

17:21🔗 I had unprotected sex and my friend told me that if you took six morning after pills in the, or six birth control pills in the morning and six at night, it was the same as the morning after pill.

17:32🔗 Drew Well, if your, if your pill happens to be low overall, but it depends on what pill and what the dose is. Well, it depends which pill we're talking about.

17:42🔗 Adam If one's pill.

17:43🔗 Drew Yeah.

17:45🔗 Adam Concrete here. Your pills.

17:47🔗 Drew If one's pills are low overall, that works fine, nearly, in fact.

17:52🔗 But. What if I'm taking antidepressants, is that okay to do that? Like.

17:57🔗 Drew Yeah, it's okay to do that, but I guarantee you, that's not the pill your friend has.

18:00🔗 Well, she's like, I don't know which pill it is.

18:02🔗 Drew Well, you're going to have to find out.

18:04🔗 Adam How do you know that's not the pill the friend has? How do you guarantee that, Drew?

18:09🔗 Drew Oh, that's not prescribed very often. You need a pill that has levonadestrel in it. Do you want to write that down?

18:14🔗 Adam The low overall one is not prescribed very often?

18:17🔗 Drew No, not these days. I haven't seen it around a while.

18:19🔗 Adam Really?

18:19🔗 Drew Yeah.

18:20🔗 Adam It would seem, I don't know, wouldn't it make sense to prescribe that one just so it could use or be doubled as this? Or is that a factor?

18:28🔗 Drew There are other ones, even the Triphasix and the LESS, and there are other ones that can be used for it also.

18:33🔗 Adam Oh, there is?

18:33🔗 Drew Yeah.

18:35🔗 Adam Shouldn't that kind of stuff be sort of accessible, I don't know, on the internet or whatever? And aren't the pills marked? Are the pills marked, the birth control pills? Yeah. I mean, could one tell by looking at the pill if it was low overall or?

18:47🔗 Drew Oh, yeah. It's a big label on it.

18:49🔗 Adam Well, no, I'm not talking about the actual dispenser, but I mean the pill itself. Are the pills themselves marked?

18:55🔗 Drew Not many of them. Carrie?

18:59🔗 Adam Yeah, I know. Carrie?

19:01🔗 All right.

19:02🔗 Adam How about you just go get that morning after pill?

19:06🔗 Because I went to a pharmacy that gave it out without prescription because I went on Sundays and Plant Paranoid is closed and they like don't give it out and then because it was closed.

19:19🔗 Wait.

19:19🔗 Drew Today's Monday. Why didn't you go to a pharmacy?

19:21🔗 Because I was at school and then they were closed by the time I got back from school.

19:26🔗 Adam Really?

19:27🔗 Drew Why don't you go to an all-night pharmacy, a save-on or something?

19:30🔗 Adam A pharmacy closed at 3.30?

19:33🔗 Drew Carrie, you're in Beverly Hills.

19:36🔗 Caller No, the Rite Aid on, they don't carry it. I've already called.

19:40🔗 Drew Go to save-on.

19:42🔗 Caller No, save-on doesn't carry it either. Without prescriptions. You have to have a prescription.

19:47🔗 Adam Really?

19:47🔗 Caller Yeah, and I'm in San Monica.

19:50🔗 Adam What's going on, by the way? We can't straighten this ass out. Still, we've got to pretend like... By the way... Let me say this, too.

19:58🔗 Drew It depends on the pharmacy, though.

20:00🔗 Adam There are certain things. It's like, are women going to get the right to vote? I don't know. All right, so we drag our feet on it, and there's a women's suffrage movement, and it goes right into the women's suffrage movement. I don't know. I don't know, 20 years later, okay, they get to vote. What about blacks? Do they get to use the same drinking fountains Whitey gets to use? I don't think they went to anymore, by the way, but that's a different subject. The point is, there's a bunch of guys saying no, and then there's some dogs and some bean bags being shot around, and some fire hoses, and then 20 years later, they get to... Can't somebody just go, look, look, look down the road. Let's just do this. It's not going back to the way it was, clearly it's not going to stay the way it is. Let's just look down the road a little bit.

20:45🔗 Drew That's what's happening, basically, but the flow to come online.

20:49🔗 Adam Slow to come online isn't what I'm talking about.

20:51🔗 Drew Well, let me tell the states to sign it up. That's the good news.

20:54🔗 Adam Yeah.

20:54🔗 Drew Let's just take a step.

20:55🔗 Adam Eleven years later, they are. It's like, you know, thousands of births, thousands of future felons, inmates and welfare recipients later, and the folks in front of me who won't turn right in the red light, even when there's no traffic coming. Thousands and millions of those people later, yeah, were starting to come online with it. You and I knew what was going on with this. It was very easy. The science was all there. The data was there. There was no mystery. It can't somebody just get this stuff going.

21:24🔗 Drew I know.

21:25🔗 Adam And then punish those who drag their feet.

21:27🔗 Drew I wish.

21:28🔗 Adam A girl 16, she wants to get the morning after pills. It's not a birth control. Oh, it's so. And look, here's the thing, too. When you're 16 and you're confused, and Drew, you want to the little Lord, Lord, us, Fauntleroy School of albino hemophiliacs. You were smart. You were educated. You had transportation. You had a few dollars in your pocket. For most people who are like the kids I grew up 15, 16, 17, they couldn't do anything. They could not fill out a greeting card to their grandmother for her 80th birthday. They don't know how to do stuff like get on the phone, get on the Internet, go across town, go pick this up, go talk to this guy. They just don't have means.

22:06🔗 Drew Can't get stuff done.

22:07🔗 Adam Make it just a little bit difficult for them. It ain't going to happen. They end up having a kid because they couldn't put an extra 20 minutes into the drive.

22:14🔗 Drew Yes, yes.

22:15🔗 Adam Why do we do that?

22:16🔗 Drew I know.

22:16🔗 Adam What's our strategy?

22:17🔗 Drew Listen, and let me reiterate for those of you that want to argue how the morning after pill works. I challenge you to read the science. It works the same way birth control pills work when you take them every day. Precisely the same mechanism prevents the egg from being released from the ovary. The sperm never gets to the egg, so there's never an issue about implantation, and I guarantee you if there is any even theoretic risk, it's no different than the birth control pill taken normally. Oh, by the way, a couple of anti-inflammatories have a similar effect on potentially theoretic implantation interference. The predominant, I mean probably exclusive effect of this drug is preventing ovulation. That's why you have three days. The sperm sits there for three days waiting for an egg. If you prevent the egg from being released, you prevent the pregnancy. The egg's already been released, you're going to get pregnant, and it's not going to harm the pregnancy taking the pill.

23:09🔗 Adam So easy. And by, you know, this whole election has made me think, why can't we just dial in a party that kind of works? You know, I mean, you like, you know, you like the Republicans because, I don't know, they're tough on crime and they're tough on, you know, terrorists, but then they do retarded stuff like come into the party that won't back this kind of stuff and won't let you have a pot plant. You know, the Democrats are good with this kind of stuff and then crappy with everything else. Can't we just pick and choose and get something and make something, make a, why don't we just cherry pick a party? Just take all the good stuff out, just take something good and all the good stuff out of it and make our own third, because it's ridiculous. Because what ends up happening is, is you become ashamed of your party, whichever one you're for, for their stance on whatever, because it's so off.

24:00🔗 Drew Republicans.

24:01🔗 Adam Thank you.

24:02🔗 Drew All right.

24:02🔗 Adam We'll take a little break. Be right back after this.

24:13🔗 Loveline is brought to you by the 2004 College Music Awards.

24:25🔗 Adam Hey, yo, Loveline, I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-L-O-P-E-1-9-1. Drew socked a new mic tonight.

24:35🔗 Drew They even sock it. What'd you do?

24:36🔗 Adam You headbutt it?

24:37🔗 You whacked it in your nose?

24:39🔗 Drew Flopped it.

24:40🔗 Adam Dr. Drew is standing at the computer tonight because we got a very funny email, I don't know, folder. What do we get? How would it, what's it called, Drew?

24:53🔗 Drew That's good enough.

24:55🔗 Adam Jimmy sent Drew and I, the great Jimmy Kimmel sent Drew and myself an email that had something attached to it. We opened it up. It was an animated sort of short on my Chief Thunder Bear, and it was really well done, and it was really funny. And basically someone just lifted dialogue off the radio and then animated around it. And they did a really nice, skillful job. I saw it, Drew saw it, it was entertaining. It was concise, and it was sort of, I don't know how they did it. I don't know if they did it with a computer or how they did it. The point is, is we would like you to have the opportunity to take a look at it, except for the address is so goddamn long that since the show, there's only an hour and a half left in the show, I don't think we can get it out.

25:44🔗 Drew And I'm trying to find it on a Google search.

25:47🔗 Adam So we're trying to figure out how to find Chief Thunder Bear in a way that doesn't have to have you go to the web address, which is just way too long to give you over the air. And I don't know how to do that. So what Drew's doing now is he's just Googling Chief Thunder Bear, I don't know, Loveline or Dialogue.

26:08🔗 Drew I can't get it out. So let me give you the address.

26:09🔗 Adam Really? Well, hold on.

26:11🔗 Drew People will need a pen. I looked up Chief Thunder Bear, Adam Carolla. It does not match on Google.

26:16🔗 Adam All right, here's the thing. Now, is there other things we could punch in there? Animation, Loveline, cartoon? How about cartoon?

26:25🔗 Drew Chief Thunder Bear, Loveline maybe.

26:27🔗 Adam I'm just trying to try that. Anything rather than give you this address that has 1,700 characters to it, right?

26:33🔗 Drew Just Thunder Bear, Loveline.

26:34🔗 Adam But you kids, especially you computer nerds, may want to grab a pen and pencil because if push comes to shove, we will just give this address out and you can take a look at this quite funny animation.

26:46🔗 Drew I think that's what we're gonna have to do.

26:47🔗 Adam Really?

26:48🔗 Drew It's just not coming up.

26:48🔗 Adam All right, let's take one call.

26:50🔗 Drew Okay.

26:50🔗 Adam Come back here, Drew.

26:52🔗 Drew Let me goof around here a little bit while we're taking this call.

26:55🔗 Adam Amber. 21? What's up?

27:00🔗 Oh, goodness. I'm seeing this guy and he told me that basically he wants to be exclusive and he's a bouncer at a club and I went there the other night and I couldn't find him often. So I went and I looked out the door and he was talking to this girl that I seen him with like a week ago. So it just makes me wonder, you know, what's up there.

27:24🔗 Adam Why did he say he wanted to be exclusive?

27:26🔗 Well, it's funny too, because I told him in the beginning that I just basically wanted a booty call and he said, you know, our feelings, either my feelings are gonna evolve or your feelings are gonna get involved and all this stuff.

27:44🔗 Adam But let me just make sure...

27:46🔗 Drew That was a confusing answer.

27:47🔗 Adam No, I know. Let me just make sure it wasn't one of these situations where you said, look, we can't go on this way. And he said, oh, okay, I wanna be exclusive.

27:57🔗 Which is much different.

27:58🔗 No, I didn't even bring anything up.

28:00🔗 Adam He actually... He initiated the exclusivity.

28:03🔗 Yep.

28:04🔗 Drew All right.

28:04🔗 Adam And your answer to that was fine?

28:06🔗 Yeah.

28:07🔗 Drew I thought you just wanted a booty call, though.

28:09🔗 I did, but I mean, after getting to know him, I kinda was interested and I figured, you know.

28:14🔗 Adam Well, he's a bouncer. And Drew, you know. Yeah, I mean, once you get past, you know, the leather and the pants and so much more. The veins in the arm, there's so much. I mean, you start that, first off, a bouncer emotionally, philosophically, intellectually, spiritually, it's like an onion. You just keep peeling. There's more and more and more. That's like first layer of the onion. Go Raiders, that's second layer. I'm into Raiders, third and fourth Raiders stuff. Fifth might be motorcycles. I'm a Harley guy. And then Raiders, I'm into Raiders. And then like the eighth layer, it's like Harley. I'm in a Harley again. And then when you get into the ninth and tenth layers of that onion, you realize he's a car guy. He likes American muscle. He's American. I'm an Iraq guy, I'm a Z man. I like a Camaro, like a Z-28. And then it's Raider, Raider, Raider, Harley, Harley, Mustang, Big Block, El Camino, Raider, Raider, Raider.

29:17🔗 Drew Back to motorcycles.

29:18🔗 Adam Back to motorcycles. It just keeps going, by the way, it never ends. Never ends.

29:22🔗 Drew It's complex.

29:23🔗 Adam Yeah, and they get philosophical every once in a while when they say like, in time, a dead punch me and it, you know, it not only, you know, hurt like my face but it kind of hurt too. You know what I'm saying? So you got that going for you. All right, what the hell was she? Amber? This guy in American Muscle, Raiders or Harleys?

29:49🔗 No, definitely not.

29:50🔗 Adam Not? What's he into? And he's a student. He's a student.

29:58🔗 He's a student?

30:00🔗 Adam Not your typical bouncer.

30:02🔗 Mm-mm.

30:02🔗 Adam There's more to him.

30:04🔗 Little bit.

30:06🔗 Adam So he's talking to some girl out front of the club.

30:10🔗 Right, after the club's been shut down, this is like 2.30, three o'clock in the morning. And this is the girl that I seen him with like the weekend before during Halloween.

30:18🔗 Adam Look, what are you doing snooping around?

30:22🔗 Well, I was sitting there and I was like, where did he go?

30:25🔗 Adam Well, you were at the club and he knew you were at the club?

30:28🔗 Oh yeah, like he, me and my friend went over there after hours and we were over there hanging out. And I just all of a sudden didn't find him. So I went and looked out the door and he was sitting there talking to that girl.

30:38🔗 Adam Did you call him on it?

30:41🔗 I actually didn't say anything. He came back in the club. Cause what happened was I went and I told my friend, I was like, he's out there talking to some girls, blah, blah, blah. And she's like, go open the door. So I like opened the door and I just looked at him and I just shut the door. And he came back in and he's like, hmm, somebody's a little jealous.

30:58🔗 Drew And then now I just say, no, of course you are.

31:00🔗 Adam You are, you are. But were the chicks hot he was talking to?

31:04🔗 Yeah, she thought she was a little bit younger.

31:06🔗 Adam Oh, well, that's a strike. You know, when I'm young. Here's the bottom line. And here's what all women need to know, by the way. If the chicks hot, I'm not saying he's cheating. He wants, he would like to get in her pants. That's all you need to know. It's like when you hear about Bill O'Reilly in his escapades or Kobe Bryant or whoever, it's like, let me see the chick. Nope. Nope. Oh, you mean the Zoptic one, the one who's all ass and nappy hair? No. Without those? No, no. That's all you need to know. If he's talking to a hot chick out front, fine. If he's talking to a moose out front, not it. Not into it.

31:50🔗 Drew Drew, sad, but consistent, right? If it's a positive, you know you're in trouble. The negative is sort of hard to interpret a little bit.

31:57🔗 Adam All right, so Amber. All right, but here's the thing. When you're dealing, when you're seeing a bouncer, it's like, there's certain jobs. Like if you want to be with a guy who's a bouncer or he's like a roadie or he's in a band or he's a DJ, you're asking for, it's a young guy who's not quite a celebrity, but that bartender, hair cutter, you know, salon guy, bouncer, chef, you know, these jobs, sort of high profile. There will be women around. And you are asking for trouble. There's going to be drunk chicks at bachelorette parties who he's going to be looking to see ID with, you understand? That's his gig.

32:40🔗 Drew So he's not, he's not respectful of your feelings.

32:44🔗 Adam If he knew you were at the club, he probably shouldn't have been chatting her up outside.

32:47🔗 Drew This is new in the relationship. Wait till things get...

32:49🔗 Adam All right, so Amber, here's what you can do. You can say to him, look, you wanted to be exclusive, and then I saw you talking to that girl out front.

32:59🔗 Drew This isn't working.

33:00🔗 Adam How about it? And then he might say, she was drunk, I was calling her cab, or she threw up. Look, but you can tell when stupid guys are lying. Give him a chance, give him a chance to say something. You know, I mean, look, you're standing out front of a club and some chick says, come here, my car's getting broken into or something. Like, what are you gonna do? You can't be blamed for everything, right? You find anything on the internet?

33:25🔗 Drew No.

33:25🔗 Adam You got nothing?

33:26🔗 Drew I mean, I'm looking at our life story here. It's like, never knew there was so much stuff on Loveline. I've never ever looked it up.

33:33🔗 Adam Really?

33:34🔗 Drew Have you?

33:35🔗 Adam No, but other people have shown me stuff. I know that sounds like a BSL radio answer, but I don't mess with a computer. But Drew, instead of reading all the positive things about you on Loveline and the internet, you choose to go to the review page of the book, Google, what the hell?

33:57🔗 Drew Feel free to- Read the reviews of my book.

33:58🔗 Adam Jump in, please jump in when you know things.

34:00🔗 Drew And by the way, I got 180 good reviews.

34:03🔗 Adam Yeah, but you got one horrible one. I read the 20 horrible ones. And it's gonna send you to Looney Bend.

34:08🔗 Drew Right, all right.

34:09🔗 Adam So why don't we give this address out where you can find this very funny animated short that was done over real audio. And see if we can do it. And go ahead, George. Grab a pad and pen.

34:24🔗 Drew This is actually worth your time.

34:26🔗 Adam Yes.

34:27🔗 Drew HTTP, I'll give you the whole address. There's no questions. HTTP colon forward slash forward slash home.comcast.

34:37🔗 Adam Yeah, I'm being lost. I don't know what a colon is.

34:41🔗 Drew HTTP colon forward slash forward slash home.comcast.net forward slash. Now, I don't know what to call this next thing after the first thing. What do you call these? It's sort of like a-

34:54🔗 Adam An N?

34:55🔗 Drew No, it's a approximation sign. It's like a tilde.

35:00🔗 Adam A tilde.

35:00🔗 Drew Tilde. Tilde, beefy papal, B-E-E-F-Y-P-A-P-A-L, one word, tilde, beefy papal, forward slash- Hold on, it keeps us still going.

35:14🔗 Adam No ass, Sherlock.

35:15🔗 Drew With a capital P, forward slash, capital D, capital T, Thunder Bear dot H-T-M.

35:22🔗 How'd you find it, Drew?

35:24🔗 Drew What?

35:24🔗 How'd you find it?

35:25🔗 Adam It was sent to us by Jimmy.

35:27🔗 I know, but did you never found it on Google?

35:29🔗 Drew I can't find it on Google, no. I would tell people just how to follow the Google trail, but I can't find it.

35:34🔗 Adam All right, Anderson, you're pretty good around the computer.

35:36🔗 Is it D, Thunder Bear?

35:38🔗 Drew D, Thunder Bear, I'll try that.

35:40🔗 Adam So is Brian. I count on you people for answers. No one in this room.

35:47🔗 Come on, Chris.

35:49🔗 Adam Chris couldn't find his a-hole if he was squatting on a mirror.

35:53🔗 Drew All right.

35:54🔗 Adam But he looks good, he got a haircut. That's nice.

35:57🔗 Drew He's Thunder Bear, no, thank you.

35:59🔗 Adam Let's keep going here, Drew. What do you say, buddy?

36:00🔗 Drew Take a call, come on, break it down.

36:01🔗 Adam All right, hubby cheated. Get back over here. Yeah, we're getting close, hubby. Catherine.

36:09🔗 Yes.

36:09🔗 Adam You're 23.

36:11🔗 Caller Yes.

36:12🔗 Adam Your hubby cheated on you.

36:13🔗 Caller Yes, unfortunately.

36:15🔗 Adam All right. And did you get divorced?

36:18🔗 Caller In the process of it right now.

36:20🔗 Adam All right. Who did he cheat on you with?

36:24🔗 Guest All right. He works at Walmart, so there's me.

36:30🔗 Caller Yeah.

36:30🔗 Adam Give the guy a break. He's got to have something to look forward to.

36:36🔗 Drew Yeah, the gun racks.

36:38🔗 Adam What, how do you know he did this?

36:41🔗 Caller How do I know he cheated on me?

36:43🔗 Adam Mm-hmm.

36:44🔗 Guest Well, first, women's intuition, and then I caught him putting her name under some guy's name in the phone, and I know he's called this guy a lot, and that's kinda odd.

36:54🔗 Adam Ooh, oh, on the phone, with the phone bill.

36:56🔗 Drew And then what'd you do?

36:57🔗 Adam So, well, hold on a second. It was with another, it was another Walmart employee?

37:02🔗 Drew Yes.

37:03🔗 Adam Wasn't the retarded elderly greeter they have out front, was it? That's not right.

37:09🔗 Drew How did you nail it down? How did you nail it? How'd you nail it down?

37:13🔗 Caller Um, phone records, I confronted him about it. He said he was just a friend, and then he moved out. You know, just totally turned his total personality change. I just had our second child. So pretty devastating, but-

37:28🔗 Adam I gotta tell you, when a man dons the red smock with the name patch on there-

37:34🔗 Drew It's hard to hold back from that.

37:36🔗 Adam First off, it's really, it's tantamount to wearing, you know, a cop uniform.

37:41🔗 Drew Again, South Park.

37:43🔗 Adam It's powerful.

37:43🔗 Drew There was a great South Park.

37:44🔗 Adam All right, sure, save it, please. All right, so you just had your second kid. This guy's carrying on with a fellow Walmart employee and he moves out.

37:55🔗 Caller Yep, I just totally changed personalities. Wanted to go out and party.

37:59🔗 Drew What is the question?

37:59🔗 Caller All of a sudden, I'm fine.

38:01🔗 Drew What's the question for us?

38:02🔗 Caller The question is, we've been separated for 11 months.

38:05🔗 Guest It's been 10 months before I started getting into another relationship.

38:08🔗 Caller I want to make sure I have over him, got everything straight.

38:10🔗 Caller You know, I was going to school.

38:12🔗 Caller Meet this guy, he works at my school. So kind of not really supposed to do that kind of thing, but we really hit it off.

38:20🔗 Caller Raceship moved quick, but I really felt connected with him. Great relationship, except he drank a lot.

38:28🔗 Caller And I noticed it from the beginning.

38:30🔗 Guest And I told him your little 30-day test about the addiction.

38:34🔗 Caller And he kind of agreed with me, oh, it's not a problem, I quit anytime.

38:38🔗 Caller You know, he's like, he lost custody of his daughter for the time being, so that's why he's drinking.

38:43🔗 Drew That's all bad. People are drinking because they're alcoholics. Hold on.

38:47🔗 Adam He didn't drink because he lost custody of his daughter. He lost custody of his daughter probably because he was drinking.

38:52🔗 Drew Yeah, and by the way, your sister's an alcoholic, which means your dad was an alcoholic.

38:56🔗 Adam Which means what? Hold on a second. What is it about the white trash contingent of this society that is just hell-bent on effing things up as badly as their childhood was for their kids, you know? Like, I-

39:13🔗 Drew Because, because I'm fine. It was fine for me. I made it through. I'm fine.

39:17🔗 Adam Yeah, you're fine. You're fine.

39:19🔗 Drew See how that works?

39:19🔗 Adam You're fine, yeah. You have a brain the size of a walnut, and the part of it, even though it's only walnut size, it's not a good walnut. A squirrel got to it when it was green. It's got some little teeth marks in it. No, here's the thing. You now have two kids. Your husband is on top of some chick who works in the tackle department of Walmart. You're hooking up, you're going to a junior college, you're hooking up with another guy who's got his lost custody of his kid and has a drinking problem. By the way, no one's hit the ripe old age of 24 yet. Your sister comes from a different dad than your dad, and you probably got a third.

40:00🔗 Drew It's a big deal. I love my sister.

40:01🔗 Adam Everything's great. And by the way, is there anyone who wants to talk about this? Is there any politician in the land who wants to bring this up? It's all gotta be Iraq talk. It's all gotta be senior drugs and seniors going to Canada to get the prescription drugs. That's all the talk. There's no room for this. Zero, that's it. There's no room for the one biggest problem we have in society. That's it. No, it's all gotta be talk. It's all gotta be greenhouse gases and arguments over ozone and drilling in Alaskan Tundra. Doesn't that just pale the comparison to this problem? Nobody wants to discuss it. Nowhere. We can't judge, can we?

40:41🔗 Drew We cannot judge. You're intruding on people's reproductive rights. How dare you?

40:45🔗 Adam All right, Catherine. Look, I don't trust this guy and I don't trust your ability to pick a guy. You're definitely 0 for 1.

40:54🔗 Drew Over 2. Good. All right, good job. So there you go.

40:58🔗 Adam Fine.

40:59🔗 Drew Take your time.

41:00🔗 Caller He replied to me about the drinking and then I realized it was a problem. I broke up with him.

41:03🔗 Adam Good, good.

41:04🔗 Drew All right, take your time with him.

41:05🔗 Caller Yeah, so my biggest thing is he's still saying he loves me.

41:12🔗 Adam You used the S word.

41:13🔗 Drew Yeah, you're great. Just perfect.

41:14🔗 Adam Look, please, first off, please fill your vagina with asphalt. I was going to say cement, but it's too good a paving product for you. Asphalt, you understand? I want no more kids out of you. Secondly, go with your instincts. You don't like this guy, he drinks, you don't want him around your kids.

41:34🔗 Drew That's fine, beautiful.

41:35🔗 Adam Fine.

41:36🔗 Drew And carry with the morning after pill. It's Levonogestrel 0.75 milligrams. If there are estrogen containing products in the product, it's okay. Drew, what are you eating? Levonogestrel 0.75 milligrams. One pill now, again, at 12 hours.

41:47🔗 Adam All right, we're gonna take a break. We'll be right back. 1-800-LOVE-191. Hey, buddy, it's Adam.

41:57🔗 Drew And I'm Dr. Drew.

41:58🔗 Adam Here to talk about Axe Deodorant Body Spray.

42:01🔗 Drew Yes, sir.

42:02🔗 Adam You spray that on, you give stink the axe. Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191-er. All right. Let's rock and roll.

42:20🔗 Drew Let's break it down.

42:20🔗 Adam You ready to rock? You ready to break it down?

42:22🔗 Drew Break it down.

42:23🔗 Adam Break it down. Get some rock on. Let's go. Let's go. Hey, gentlemen. It's a challenge. Let's grab it and break it down now. All right, ready to go? Let's rock. Christy, she's 22, ex-heroin in it. Christy? Good, what's happening?

42:51🔗 Guest Well, basically, my question for Drew, and what I wanna know is hepatitis C, is that transmitted by blood, or is that transmitted by, I don't know, other fluids during sex?

43:05🔗 Drew It really is the same as HIV there, although you should be aware that there is debate about whether it is sexually transmissible. I am thoroughly convinced that it is.

43:14🔗 Adam Now, Drew, I've I've learned from watching public service announcements that anyone can get AIDS.

43:20🔗 Drew Anyone, anywhere, anytime.

43:21🔗 Adam It doesn't discriminate. AIDS doesn't care if you're black, Chicano, you're white, you're tall, you're rich. By the way, is there any bigger blowhardy statement than that? Well, when they start going, uh, listen, listen, people, Hep C doesn't care who your dad is. Doesn't care what kind of family come from. Doesn't care about that Harvard degree hanging on the wall. All it knows is it's looking for a host. You know, that guy like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I get hepatitis C doesn't doesn't care about my Chinese lineage. Shocking. Where's where's my scratch pad? You blow hard. But I've learned from watching the PSA is that anyone can get AIDS. Even if you're in a monogamous relationship, having heterosexual sex, that you're just as good a candidate for it as if you're pulling a train in Sub-Sahara Africa. There's no difference.

44:16🔗 Drew How dare you?

44:17🔗 Adam I'm just saying I've learned. So this means we could all get hepatitis C. Yes, because it's the same as AIDS, right?

44:23🔗 Drew It's the same, anytime, anywhere. Not just the heroin actuary needles, which is how it's usually transmitted.

44:28🔗 Adam So if I was getting my fudge packed by a guy who was currently shooting up from Haiti, no different than, let's say, your parents who are in a monogamous relationship. It could hit any of us.

44:41🔗 Drew You're judging?

44:41🔗 Adam No, I'm not judging. I'm just looking for the facts.

44:44🔗 Drew Yeah, of course.

44:47🔗 Adam Right. You know what's interesting about the left? You know what's interesting about them? They're really interested in the facts when it comes to like creation and things like that. They're very much into those facts. They're not so much into the facts when it comes to things like AIDS and that sort of stuff. They're not into it at all, by the way. What's that? Secondhand smoke. They become evangelical Christians when it comes to that. It's funny that the same group that does nothing but want the facts when it comes to...

45:18🔗 Drew Creationism....

45:18🔗 Adam anything that has to do with the Bible, the world, or the planet, that kind of stuff. It's all about that. But secondhand smoke? 55,000 people die every year. Maybe there's six. Not interested in those facts. Not interested in any AIDS facts either. There's a lot of facts they're not interested in. Four fact-finding people. You know what I'm saying?

45:41🔗 Drew You're judging. How dare you?

45:42🔗 Adam I'm sorry. I didn't mean to judge.

45:44🔗 Drew We didn't get to Christy's question, so we'll get her back.

45:46🔗 Adam What's her question?

45:47🔗 Drew She wants to ask about the transmission of something.

45:50🔗 Adam Hey, Christy?

45:53🔗 Drew You just want to know, can you transmit the hepatitis C?

45:56🔗 Guest I want to know if it's a blood-on-blood thing or if it's just sex juices, I guess.

46:00🔗 Drew It's primarily blood-on-blood, almost exclusively, but definitely through intimate contact there's a potential, but not through saliva, that sort of thing. Not a household transmission.

46:09🔗 Adam We'll take ourselves a little break. Be right back after this.

46:13🔗 Caller All right, guys.

46:14🔗 Guest Bottom line, here's the deal.

46:16🔗 Caller Sick of wasting time with the wrong person.

46:18🔗 Caller One call is all you need to make.

46:20🔗 Drew Call the Dateline. 877-889-DATE.

46:27🔗 Caller Loveline with Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew.

46:29🔗 1-800-LOVE-191.

46:34🔗 Caller This hour brought to you in part by...

46:45🔗 Adam I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. John Elizabeth from The Apprentice is going to be in here on Wednesday, Apprentice, good show, you watch The Apprentice?

46:56🔗 Yeah, I do.

46:58🔗 Drew I hate reality, I like The Apprentice.

47:00🔗 Adam Yeah, it's good. And Mark Burnett does that show, and he also does Survivor, and I think he does good shows.

47:07🔗 Drew By the way, in this little cartoon thing that I gave out the address for earlier, how did he know the person that made that cartoon your Survivor dance? You do the Survivor dance in that cartoon. Yeah. Scared me.

47:20🔗 Adam Added a few sound effects, had me moving along. The only thing he didn't put in there is me yelling at engineer Chris to get coffee.

47:29🔗 Drew That's the next installment.

47:31🔗 Adam That's not cool. All right, we should play a little Germany or Florida tonight, maybe a little Ace's Accordion, Ranchero Countdown.

47:41🔗 Drew By the way, Enlightened after last night found out that the Ranchero music is of German descent.

47:46🔗 Adam No, I knew that.

47:47🔗 Drew I didn't know that.

47:48🔗 Adam Well, you can. It's very oom-pah-pie.

47:50🔗 Drew Well, but who knew? I mean, it spontaneously generated the way it did in Germany, but it was German beer gardens in Mazatlan that caught on.

47:58🔗 Adam Yeah, we learned that.

47:59🔗 Drew And there's no tuba in the Ranchero music.

48:02🔗 Adam No. They did some testing with the tuba, and while it's annoying, it's more sort of a guy flicking you in the shoulder annoying as opposed to just long nails on the chalkboard annoying. And what I'm saying is the Mexican government deemed it not annoying enough. They played tuba. Here's how they...

48:21🔗 Drew We also have to carry around in the heat. It wouldn't work.

48:25🔗 Adam It could burn you. Oh, yeah. You go out on Baja with a tuba, it'll get up to 400 or 500 degrees.

48:32🔗 Drew Absolutely.

48:33🔗 Adam It'll burn your lips right off. No. And also, you're thinking about tuba. It takes a big fat German to play it. A spindly Mexican cannot blow his liver come flying out of that tuba. Listen, I have some access to this stuff. The Mexican government does research on instruments. And if it doesn't reach a certain level of annoying, they will ban it from the country.

48:54🔗 Drew Another scale we need to create, along with the smell scale, the annoyance scale. Units of annoyance.

49:01🔗 Adam Yeah. This is part of my bigger quest for people just to understand what bad is and to go ahead and single it out.

49:07🔗 Drew Yeah.

49:07🔗 Adam And realize that it transcends all cultures and nations. Well, I know what bad is. I'll explain to you what it is. Are you ready, Drew?

49:15🔗 Drew Here we go.

49:16🔗 Adam And by the way, we can do it. Do what? You can figure out who's hot and who's not. Do you know what I'm saying? It doesn't matter where they come from, what their nationality is.

49:25🔗 Drew Well, there's certain...

49:26🔗 Adam No.

49:27🔗 Drew Somewhat. Some little transcendence.

49:28🔗 Adam They know who's hot. And it's the same one we know is hot.

49:30🔗 Drew Yeah.

49:31🔗 Uh-huh. All right.

49:34🔗 Adam Let's talk to Eric, who's 29. Eric?

49:37🔗 Caller Hey, guys. What's happening?

49:38🔗 Adam What's happening?

49:39🔗 Caller It's good to have you back, by the way, Adam.

49:41🔗 Adam Good to be back, Eric.

49:44🔗 Caller Can I say a little something, something about Stryker real quick?

49:47🔗 Adam Sure. What? Did he host on Thursday?

49:49🔗 Drew He was with Anthony Keas.

49:52🔗 Adam Oh, okay.

49:52🔗 Caller Well, I heard a story once about a farmer's dog who ate one of his chickens, and he couldn't kill the dog because it was a family dog. So what he did was he hung the chicken around the dog's neck for weeks and weeks until the chicken started to get so old and smelly and nasty that nobody could stand to be around the dog. The dog couldn't even stand his own smell. And I don't know why. For some reason, that reminds me of Stryker. And I'll go ahead and move on to my point now.

50:20🔗 Drew I was trying to understand the symbolism of that story.

50:24🔗 Adam I don't think it was a compliment. But, and you and I have a vivid imaginations and speak fluent Loveline gibberish hard. But you know, I can't make a correlation between that and sometimes feeling...

50:39🔗 Drew I must have missed the conjugation with the herpes.

50:41🔗 Caller All right.

50:42🔗 Adam Let's hear it one more time. Eric, what was your point?

50:45🔗 Caller That's all there was. And then I got this drop thing that I wanted to do with you.

50:49🔗 Adam Hold on a second. I don't want to, you know, I feel like I'm picking the scab off a wound. You don't like Stryker?

50:58🔗 Caller Well, I didn't want to say anything bad about Stryker for fear that I would be dumped. So I just thought I'd tell that funny story that reminded me of him.

51:06🔗 Drew All right. He's the dog or the chicken? Whatever. OK.

51:11🔗 Adam Whatever. All right. You're not a fan.

51:13🔗 Caller Oh, Stryker. No, I'm much happier when you're there.

51:16🔗 Adam Oh, thank you. And let me tell you something. I like Stryker. I've never heard him do the show because I'm never, if I'm not here, I'm not here. And I'm sure as hell not going to listen to it, even if there was a radio around.

51:27🔗 Caller You're not missing anything.

51:28🔗 Adam Oh, please.

51:29🔗 Caller My gentleman, fine gentleman, but no replacement for you.

51:32🔗 Drew From Arizona, by the way.

51:33🔗 Adam It's bordering on Corolla. Now, let's go, Eric.

51:36🔗 Caller As a dear, dear friend. What I've got here is me and my buddy at work here have been listening to your show for almost five years now. And I've gotten pretty good at imitating the drops that Anderson plays.

51:45🔗 Drew Have you called him before?

51:47🔗 Caller Oh, yeah. I've called him a couple of times. You know, he's like my voice.

51:50🔗 Adam Yeah. We've heard this, but it's always amusing.

51:53🔗 Caller Okay.

51:54🔗 Adam So, go ahead.

51:55🔗 Drew What did you call him with last time? I forget.

51:56🔗 Adam Oh, who cares? I think he did the same bit. Oh, and he wished a striker would get eight. I think that's what he's called with the last time. Go ahead, Eric. Give us the drops.

52:08🔗 Caller So, basically, what I want to do is I got a bunch of drops here and I don't know how many you want to do, but either you can guess who they are or have Anderson play the real drop and see how close I am to imitating it, you know, whatever.

52:18🔗 Adam Well, how, when you said you imitated it, what does that mean?

52:22🔗 Caller Laughing time is over.

52:24🔗 Adam Oh, that's you.

52:25🔗 Caller That's me.

52:26🔗 Adam Oh, okay. That's good.

52:27🔗 Caller Keep going.

52:28🔗 Caller Laughing time is over.

52:30🔗 Caller There you go.

52:31🔗 Caller Okay.

52:32🔗 More Jello, please.

52:33🔗 Drew No. No, Eric.

52:35🔗 Adam Please.

52:37🔗 Drew Unacceptable.

52:39🔗 Adam That's weak, Eric. Now, what else you got?

52:42🔗 Best show on television, The Man Show.

52:44🔗 Best show on television, The Man Show.

52:46🔗 Drew No.

52:46🔗 Adam That's better. Look how fast. Look how fast Anderson is, by the way. He has no idea what's coming.

52:52🔗 Drew Well, here's what we have to figure out again.

52:53🔗 Caller Let's just go boom, boom. I'll do it and then he can hit it and then I'll do another one. He can hit it.

52:58🔗 Adam All right.

52:59🔗 Caller Boring bit.

52:59🔗 Uh-oh.

53:04🔗 Caller I don't like this game because I feel like a seal.

53:06🔗 Adam Okay. Listen, Anderson, just push the stupid buttons, would you? Play along.

53:10🔗 Caller Oh, man. Okay. Well, I thought Anderson would.

53:12🔗 Adam No, it's interesting. Just shut up and do the buttons, would you, please? Boring bit. Hold on, hold on. You got to wait for Anderson to find it.

53:30🔗 Caller Well, I don't want to make him a seal.

53:31🔗 Adam It's too late. Go ahead.

53:33🔗 Who is number one? Number one.

53:37🔗 Adam All right, now hold on, Eric. Listen, here, let's just... Let's just, let's quiet down. Let's just reset here for a second. Anderson, please.

1:01:33🔗 Caller No, what is this?

1:01:34🔗 Adam It's a ridiculous job we have.

1:01:38🔗 Drew What, how dare you?

1:01:39🔗 Caller What are you talking about?

1:01:40🔗 Adam I'm gassing up one of the fans and going over there, Drew.

1:01:43🔗 Drew Okay, go.

1:01:43🔗 Adam All right, something's up. All right, now, how do we get the phone back to her head?

1:01:48🔗 Drew There she is. Thank you, thank you, well done. Well, did you have a beeper going off or something in your room, maybe? In a drawer? All right, whatever. So.

1:01:59🔗 Adam Well, here's the thing, let me explain something. I know it sounds ridiculous. Okay, first off, Drew and I, we're like dogs that have been locked in the laundry room with no toys. And we found.

1:02:16🔗 Drew We're chewing on our own.

1:02:17🔗 Adam We found a balled up sock.

1:02:18🔗 Drew Yes.

1:02:18🔗 Adam And we were just chewing on our own paw.

1:02:20🔗 Drew Yes.

1:02:21🔗 Adam And it was getting bloody. And we found this balled up sock and it became our life. You understand? That's what the smoke detectors are to us. When we hear that thing chiming in the background of our callers, they go off about every 35 seconds. That means there's a-

1:02:34🔗 Drew Calls to us.

1:02:35🔗 Adam Means there's a low battery in the smoke detector. Now, you would think that if you said to a person, hey, do you have a smoke detector in your room? And they said, no, I don't, that we could move on. We would move on, except for the last 33 times we've done it, it turns out there is a smoke detector.

1:02:52🔗 Drew Over their head, chirping at them.

1:02:53🔗 Adam And I've had things like, hey, was that a smoke detector? What are you talking about? I thought I heard a smoke detector. I don't know what a smoke detector is. Do you have a smoke detector in your room? No, I don't. Chirp? What was that? That was nothing. Are you sure it wasn't the smoke detector? No. Chirp? What was that? Oh, that could have been the smoke detector. I've had that conversation. Many times. On the air. And that's the problem. That's why now we can't let it go with Monique, because I heard the chirp.

1:03:25🔗 Drew Because we know it's there.

1:03:26🔗 Adam We know it's there. The chirp. I heard it, I started pacing it. And it went off about 45 seconds later, which was the second one that you heard.

1:03:34🔗 Drew And then we heard a third one.

1:03:35🔗 Adam So what do we do? Do we tell her go back to her original spot?

1:03:38🔗 Drew Yes.

1:03:39🔗 Adam Monique. I need you to go back to the original spot you made the call from. I can't tell you that. It was somewhere in your house.

1:03:53🔗 Drew You go back?

1:03:54🔗 Guest I'm gonna go check where it is, then I don't know where the beef is coming from.

1:03:57🔗 Adam You know, but do you know the smoke detectors, a round thing?

1:04:01🔗 Drew The ceiling.

1:04:01🔗 Adam It sits on the ceiling? Probably in the living room, okay. And by the way, smoke detector, it's one of those things like toaster, that the title is everything. You know what I'm saying?

1:04:13🔗 Drew It is what it is.

1:04:14🔗 Adam It is what it is, as opposed to like thermos, which could be confusing. You see what I'm saying?

1:04:21🔗 Drew A mug.

1:04:21🔗 Caller A mug, a mug, where are we going?

1:04:25🔗 Adam I don't know, I don't know, but she's got to go toward the center of the chart.

1:04:29🔗 Drew Here's the deal, let's bring this full circle. Monique needs a consult.

1:04:33🔗 Adam With a gynecologist?

1:04:35🔗 Drew Yes.

1:04:36🔗 Adam Okay, Monique?

1:04:37🔗 Drew Chief Running Bear.

1:04:39🔗 Adam Oh, no, no, too much time, too much time. We'll get to one. Now Monique, have you been to like Planned Parenthood?

1:04:49🔗 Drew No. Well, listen, more often than not, if somebody's not on medication, medically is sound, nothing going on emotionally or pharmacologically or medically, this more often than not is something going on in the relationship, either something in terms of how you guys are having sex together that's going for too long or it's starting to irritate you and it's really not so enjoyable to you and you're not really sort of bringing your boyfriend into understanding what it is you need or your feelings have changed about this relationship.

1:05:17🔗 Adam And you can use lubrication too. Okay, sorry. Didn't mean to burden you with information, Miss Snotty Pants. Monique, do me a favor.

1:05:31🔗 Caller I got one of you guys really want to hear one that bad. You can pretend it's hers.

1:05:34🔗 Drew No, no, no.

1:05:35🔗 Adam No, please.

1:05:36🔗 Caller That was me.

1:05:37🔗 Adam That was you. Now look, thank you. I said no nine times. Monique, please go back to your room and sit on the foot of the bed or wherever you were when you initially called us and we spoke to you.

1:05:53🔗 Caller Which was in my sister's room, but she's home.

1:05:56🔗 Adam Oh, I see. I see.

1:05:58🔗 Drew Pulling a bait and switch on us. All right.

1:06:01🔗 Adam And you're looking up, you see no smoke detector.

1:06:05🔗 Caller No, mine was taken out of my room.

1:06:06🔗 Drew And put in a drawer somewhere maybe?

1:06:11🔗 Adam It was taken out of your room for what reason?

1:06:13🔗 Caller Well, because the battery's died out, so there was no point in keeping it in my room.

1:06:18🔗 Adam Right.

1:06:19🔗 Drew No point in changing those batteries.

1:06:20🔗 Adam Yeah, it's like when your car battery goes dead, you gotta throw the car away. You gotta throw the car away. Of course. Well, you don't throw it out, but you have someone take it away.

1:06:26🔗 Drew Put it in a drawer somewhere or something.

1:06:28🔗 Adam Yeah, it's no good to anyone anymore.

1:06:29🔗 Drew That smoke detector's sitting in the drawer in her room, chirping and-

1:06:32🔗 Adam I think it is. You sure it's not in your sister's drawer?

1:06:37🔗 Caller No, it's not in there.

1:06:38🔗 Caller She didn't really have any.

1:06:42🔗 Drew Here we go. Take it a break.

1:06:44🔗 Adam I'll tell you, if the manufacturers of smoke detectors like Coleman and First Alert had any idea how their product was being abused, we were laughing about this on the air a few months back, which is that the 250 decibel chirp that happens every 28 seconds is not enough to get an average American to get up on the footstool and change a goddamn nine volt battery. They would have no clue. By the way, that would drive turkeys insane. You understand? Animals that roll their own filth and scratch themselves to death, it would drive them and their cannibals, it would drive them insane if you had one of those things chirping every 28 seconds.

1:07:29🔗 Drew Not the human, not the American, not the Loveline listener, Loveline caller, let's be fair, Loveline caller.

1:07:35🔗 Adam I'm starting to think our callers represent, well, at least the red states. All right, let's take ourselves a little bit of a break. We'll be right back after this. Hey yo, loveline. Hey, Drew, you know what I'm this close to doing?

1:08:14🔗 Drew Drop and trial.

1:08:15🔗 Adam Drop and trial.

1:08:16🔗 Drew No, you would.

1:08:16🔗 Guest I swear to Christ, I'll do it.

1:08:17🔗 Drew Chris, he will. Chris, he has been doing weird things. Watch out, he'll do it.

1:08:28🔗 Adam We got news, we got weather coming up, we got traffic coming up. Oh, here's some of the drive, we have a slow and go on the 45, 405, look out for brake lights on the 101, traffic in lanes, debris in lanes, oh, there's a box spring out there, I'll tell you what kind of knock that out. Got cones out, look out for those guys, give them a break. Where do you come in through the cone zone? 832, 32 after 8 o'clock, 28 away from the top of the hour straight up. Top of the hour we got traffic, weather coming up, also news coming up to that. As a matter of fact, we got traffic, weather, news coming up every hour, every quarter hour, every eighth hour, every 16th hour, every 32nd hour, 6th, 4th hour, every 124th hour. On the hours with traffic where sometimes we give out so much traffic, weather, and sports that they actually start bleeding into each other. So I'm talking about like score the Lakers game and they start turning it like, yeah, San Antonio 111 to the Lakers. 405, traffic on the 405. See how it started better? Traffic, weather, sports, sports, traffic, weather, weather, sports. 73 out in Conejo coming in there, checking in Gardena, checking in 73 in Sino, checking in 73. Look out, traffic in Lanes on the 101. Box ring out there, slow and go, look out for brake light. And we're going through a cone zone, give the guys a break. What do you, the guys in Orange Caltrans, Orange, good people out there, get way too much for kind of a crappy job that they do. Yeah, Kristen, what's happening over there? 21 checking in, 833, 33 after 8 o'clock. 27 away from the top there. I got news, traffic and weather coming up on the quarter, on the half, on the eighth, on the 16th, on the 32nd, the 64th, every goddamn hour. And we got a breakaway, got a breakaway. Good, Kristen, let's go.

1:10:18🔗 Guest Yeah, I was wondering if, I've been on the shot, Devil Prevara, for about four months now, and I was wondering if that would have any effect on, like, dryness.

1:10:28🔗 Adam What about it, Drew? Hold on, we got a breakaway, we got a little traffic, got a slow and go, look out for brake lights on the 405, Debrion Lanes on the 101, some jokers on there, he's got out his, a couple of Mexicans crossing the freeway. 101, look out for brake lights and traffic weather coming up at the top of the hour. Yeah, go ahead there, Drew.

1:10:48🔗 Drew Kristen, have you noticed when women call in with this particular complaint, I always ask if they're on medication, and this is the one, one of the medicines I'm fishing for, is that it very commonly causes dryness. So there you go.

1:11:02🔗 Adam Well, I wish we could talk about that, but we got news coming in. Trouble in the Middle East, unrest in the Middle East. Yes, there's unrest in the Middle East, Drew.

1:11:11🔗 Drew You may want to talk to your doctor about esters and creams sometimes.

1:11:13🔗 Adam Unrest in the Middle East, yeah. Looks like, hey, the Jews aren't getting along with the Palestinians. What do you know over there? Everyone's a crazy, crazy anti-Semite over there in the Middle East, although that's not really the problem we can talk about. Maybe we got to make it over a while. Yeah, trouble in the Middle East, unrest in the Middle East. They hate the Jews in the Middle East, but that's not the real problem. No, couldn't be that, wouldn't be that. Historically, there's no precedent for that.

1:11:38🔗 Caller No, couldn't be that, couldn't be.

1:11:40🔗 Adam It's got to be oil. It's about us. It's about oil, yeah. All right, a slow go on the 405, not anti-Semitism in the Middle East. People love the Jews over there. They're basically, their theories live and let live over there in the Middle East. They love the Jews. It's not about anything. It's about money for oil and blood for oil. Jessica.

1:11:58🔗 Guest Yeah.

1:12:00🔗 Adam What's going on over there?

1:12:02🔗 Drew Unacceptable. Is that a freight train?

1:12:05🔗 Guest Yeah, I'm in the car right now.

1:12:09🔗 Caller Are you parked on the train?

1:12:13🔗 Drew It says seven minutes.

1:12:20🔗 Adam Let's do, let's do a little Loveline Reenactment. Oh God, I've been waiting forever.

1:12:26🔗 Drew It says seven minutes here on the board. Hello?

1:12:35🔗 Adam By the way, as we look across the board, Drew, line one, how long?

1:12:38🔗 Drew 40 minutes.

1:12:39🔗 Adam Line two?

1:12:40🔗 Drew 38 minutes.

1:12:41🔗 Adam Line five?

1:12:42🔗 Drew 31 minutes.

1:12:43🔗 Adam Line six?

1:12:43🔗 Drew 29 minutes. 7.3, 7.25.

1:12:47🔗 Adam Okay, so not only have you not been waiting that long, at least according to Loveline's standards, you're way off the pace. You're not even up to a quarter of the average weight. But I guess Jessica's hot. Go ahead, Jessica.

1:13:01🔗 Guest Hey, hey, hey. Yeah.

1:13:02🔗 Caller Actually, I just had a question.

1:13:04🔗 Guest I get urinary tract infections a lot. Like, I think more than usual. I talk to my girlfriends and stuff, and they seem to get them just sporadically, you know? So I guess it's a normal thing, but I get it quite-

1:13:16🔗 Caller Do you have a boyfriend?

1:13:19🔗 Drew Well, it's probably either the way you guys are having sex or something about him, maybe, whatever. It's bacteria getting pushed up the erythroid into the bladder.

1:13:27🔗 Adam Do you have vigorous sex?

1:13:30🔗 Caller Depending.

1:13:31🔗 Drew Oh, really?

1:13:32🔗 Adam Sometimes? Sometimes you do?

1:13:35🔗 Caller It depends.

1:13:35🔗 Guest It depends on me and all that kind of stuff.

1:13:37🔗 Caller I don't know, it just happens.

1:13:39🔗 Drew Well, you might notice that that's when you get the urinary tract infections. We're trying to make a correlation.

1:13:43🔗 Guest What about around that time of the month?

1:13:46🔗 Adam What about that time of the month? Well, first off, hold on. Do you ever have vigorous sex?

1:13:55🔗 Drew That was a question.

1:13:55🔗 Adam That was a question. All right, Alexa, I'm not gonna beat off to it till I get home. How dare you? Have some decorum. Go ahead, Drew. And by the way, I assume you're hot because you're 20 and your name's Jessica and you got a lot of attitude, but you're calling from Riverside and that's only Riverside Hot.

1:14:14🔗 Caller Oh, I actually just pulled over.

1:14:16🔗 Caller I was in Victorville.

1:14:19🔗 Guest Don't hate, I just moved from Orange County.

1:14:22🔗 Adam Ooh, ooh.

1:14:24🔗 Caller What happened?

1:14:24🔗 Adam Are you being punished? What'd you do? Kill a cop?

1:14:27🔗 Guest I just wasn't doing the damn thing in Orange County.

1:14:30🔗 Caller I had to move it to Victorville, just get started in the school.

1:14:33🔗 Drew Drugs. That's what we call geographic.

1:14:37🔗 Adam What do you do? Oh, really? You're doing drugs? No, in Orange County.

1:14:43🔗 Caller Oh, in Orange County? I used to party harder, but-

1:14:47🔗 Drew That's a, that's an affirmative. Affirmative.

1:14:49🔗 Adam So you call that a geographic, is there someone just tries to sort of leave and shake their past?

1:14:53🔗 Drew Right.

1:14:54🔗 Adam As opposed to getting sober?

1:14:55🔗 Drew Right, they try to get away from the people and the places and the things that, you know, allow, that they equate with their drug using. And the drug using is due to something in their brain. They take that with them wherever they go and magically the drugs find them wherever they are.

1:15:07🔗 Adam Well, maybe Jessica didn't. Jessica, did you pack your brain?

1:15:10🔗 Guest Did I pack my brain when I left?

1:15:12🔗 Adam You're right.

1:15:13🔗 Drew Let's see, it's a shame.

1:15:14🔗 Caller I have a bunch of stuff to do up here.

1:15:16🔗 Adam How are you doing? Or what are you doing in Victorville?

1:15:22🔗 Guest I'm just working at a law firm and like going to college. Trying to do something.

1:15:27🔗 Drew Victorville, a college in Victorville?

1:15:29🔗 Guest Yeah, there's like a junior college.

1:15:36🔗 Drew Okay, and by the way, even Chris is laughing.

1:15:38🔗 Adam I know.

1:15:39🔗 Drew He's cringing.

1:15:41🔗 Guest Anytime you hear the word Victorville, you think, that's why I stop and pee when I go to Vegas. I know, but.

1:15:45🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:15:45🔗 Drew Exactly.

1:15:46🔗 Adam Chris, who by the way, takes seven-eighths of a unit, is basically his course load this year, laughs heartily at the junior college in Victorville.

1:16:01🔗 Drew All right, Jessica, here's the deal. You may, you want to see a doctor get the urine checked. There's certain, sometimes they're resistant bugs. You may want to take antibiotics every time you have this vigorous sex afterwards. You take a single dose. Yeah, some women have to do that. Or you might want to kind of pay attention and not aggravate things so much. You know what I'm saying? It's not your body's telling you something here.

1:16:23🔗 Guest Sometimes I don't even recover from the previous one before.

1:16:27🔗 Drew You know what that is? That's drug addict behavior, Jessica. That's you trying to get the same orals you get from drugs from using sex like a drug. That's what that is. And your body is getting hurt by that just the way it did from the drugs.

1:16:39🔗 Adam I will use sex as a weapon on occasion, but never as a drug. Well, it's different.

1:16:43🔗 Caller I don't think I'm using it as a drug.

1:16:45🔗 Guest I mean, I... I just thought, I haven't had any in like four or five days.

1:16:48🔗 Drew All right, well.

1:16:49🔗 Adam Well, it's been almost half a week.

1:16:52🔗 Guest Well, you're in an obvious relationship, you're living with a person, you think that, you know.

1:16:58🔗 Adam Hey, what, did your boyfriend relocate with you to Victorville?

1:17:03🔗 Guest Yeah.

1:17:04🔗 Adam Oh, man. You guys really must have been running from something over there.

1:17:08🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:17:08🔗 Guest No, we were both just in the same kind of boat. We've grown up together and gone through all that stuff together, so.

1:17:14🔗 Drew And strangely, he's, there you go.

1:17:16🔗 Adam What's he doing in Victor? What's your boyfriend doing in Victorville?

1:17:19🔗 Guest He's working at a furniture place.

1:17:23🔗 Drew Oh, touche.

1:17:25🔗 Guest It's not bad, and plus living's a lot cheaper out there.

1:17:28🔗 Adam No, I know, listen, they should pay you.

1:17:32🔗 Guest Yeah. All right.

1:17:33🔗 Adam All right, but they got a good frosty freeze out there, I think.

1:17:38🔗 Drew Oh, in Victorville?

1:17:38🔗 Adam Yeah, or is it Foster's? What the hell, Tasty Freeze? Yeah. Good over there. I remember, I think I was coming home from Vegas, and I don't know if I was in Victorville or Baker, or one of those little towns between Los Angeles and Vegas, but nothing but arid desert everywhere, and one Tasty Freeze in the middle of the joint, and stopped off, you know, after being on the road for four hours, got like a blizzard, and the guy behind the counter said, what the, what are you doing here? He must have recognized me from the man show, and I said, well, I live out here. And he's like, you do? He's like, whoa, and commuted into Hollywood for the show, come back here. Well, he's like, wow, keeping it real. I said, yeah, I like desert. I like trash being blown. That's my thing.

1:18:30🔗 Drew Yeah, it's a nice effect.

1:18:31🔗 Adam And I like, you know what, I don't feel at home until I see that sign that says, it talks about the dangers of transporting backyard fruit.

1:18:39🔗 Drew Yeah, and the MedFly.

1:18:41🔗 Adam Yeah. All right, you ready to rock here? Here we go, keep going. Kurt?

1:18:46🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:18:48🔗 Adam 24?

1:18:50🔗 Caller Yep.

1:18:50🔗 Drew Here we go. What's up?

1:18:51🔗 Adam What's up?

1:18:52🔗 Caller Hello? What am I speaking to?

1:18:55🔗 Adam You're speaking to Dr. Drew and his faithful son.

1:18:58🔗 Caller Oh, that's who they are now, huh?

1:19:00🔗 Adam That's right.

1:19:00🔗 Caller I've been waiting forever, too.

1:19:02🔗 Adam All right. What's up?

1:19:04🔗 Caller I've been with my girlfriend for three years, and at first, the sex was great. It was always continuous and just all the time. Then, after two years, we had a child, and then it's just like distinguished, it's just like totally like she wasn't interested in it when we had it. She would just do it for me, and she wasn't interested in it. I was like, well, you know what, why am I even doing this if you're not interested in it?

1:19:32🔗 Adam Mm-hmm. Yeah. Well, so you can bust a nut, perhaps?

1:19:38🔗 Guest Yeah, definitely.

1:19:40🔗 Caller But, I mean, when someone's not into it...

1:19:41🔗 Adam And by the way, if a guy had to really use that criteria to judge, that'd be it. You do it once a year, and the end of that, Drew, as a man of passion.

1:19:51🔗 Guest Am I right?

1:19:52🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:19:52🔗 Drew Maybe three times a year.

1:19:54🔗 Adam Am I right or am I right?

1:19:55🔗 Drew You're right.

1:19:56🔗 Caller Well, it's our need as a male, I think, to pass that.

1:19:59🔗 Drew We understand something about that.

1:20:00🔗 Caller Hold on.

1:20:02🔗 Drew Thanks. Get that down. Write that down. So saith Kurt. Thus spake Kurt.

1:20:09🔗 Adam Thus spake Kurt. Thus herewithal. All right, Kurt.

1:20:14🔗 Drew I haven't had a Kurt in a while either.

1:20:15🔗 Adam No.

1:20:16🔗 Drew It's been a while. It's refreshing.

1:20:19🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:20:20🔗 Drew Then again, maybe not.

1:20:22🔗 Adam Oh, Drew.

1:20:22🔗 Caller I know.

1:20:24🔗 Drew Waxing smart here. Kurt. Yeah. How long ago was the child delivered?

1:20:29🔗 Caller She's a little over a year and a half.

1:20:32🔗 Drew Very commonly, women will have a significant drop in their sex drive for at least six months, many times up to 12 months after a child. If she's continuing to breastfeed, that will work against you. If she has a postpartum depression, that will profoundly impact. And then you add in the stress of taking care of a child and God knows whatever pressures you're putting on her and things kind of spiral down very commonly. Sometimes going to a gynecologist and talking about maybe kickstarting things biologically, sometimes the triphasic birth control pills can help in sort of getting things going again, but you're fighting biology and stress. And you've got to be empathic about that. You've got to realize things are not the same as they were when she was not mom.

1:21:10🔗 Adam All right.

1:21:10🔗 Drew So how about supporting her for God's sakes?

1:21:14🔗 Adam Here's the way, by the way, you know what I'm going to liken it to, Drew? I'm going to liken it to a holes who get pulled over and they want to get out of the ticket by throwing attitude at the cop. Here's your only good example. Really?

1:21:30🔗 Drew Yeah, it's a great example.

1:21:31🔗 Adam And it has to be good because Drew rarely says that, rarely compliments me anymore on not only my examples, but my looks, he never says anything. Here's what I'm saying.

1:21:41🔗 Drew I have to beat off commenting, I can't resist.

1:21:42🔗 Adam You get pulled over by a cop, they have all the power, they have all the juice. Here's your one shot of getting out of the ticket, hands on the wheel, yes officer, I'm sorry, apologetic. That sort of thing where he says, got my license and registration, you go, I'm going to reach into my glove box now, that's where I keep it if that's okay. Nothing but ass kissing, make him feel bad for writing you the ticket. Same thing with the lady when you're not having sex. A lot of guys try to do that belligerent motorist thing and you start throwing two to do what's the matter, no one's robbing a bank today. Boop, now you got a ticket, maybe you're getting your ass kicked on the side of the road. They're calling for backup.

1:22:28🔗 Drew Why not? You deserve it too then, by the way.

1:22:32🔗 Adam They have all the power, so why anger them? Here's the thing too, let me tell you what the cornerstone to the F-Up is. The cornerstone of the F-Up is not knowing who's got the power or not caring and proceeding anyway. The guy's got a gun, the guy's got a partner, the guy's got a walkie talkie, he's got a nightstick and he's got a ticket book that's in a fresh pen that he's just licked and you're cracking wise to him. You're mouthing off to him. Now, maybe you had this much chance of getting out with a warning, now you're going in. That's what stupid people do and it's the same thing they do with the women, right? She's got a kid, she's got a little postpartum depression, whatever it is, instead of the flowers then the little decorative soap basket, you're complaining and now you're getting further away from sex. Each complaint, each come on, each all that, all the pouting, all the attitude, whatever it is. Now, take out the garbage, get a little FTD basket, see if that works. If not, you got to go in, see the doctor. Alright, Drew? Perfect. Alright, we'll take ourselves a little break. We'll be right back after this. We got some show planned for you tonight. A lot of folks like to start their show when the show starts. Not us, we wait until late into the fourth quarter before we start enacting our show plans. Yes, Drew? Tell you what.

1:24:12🔗 Drew Why burn out early?

1:24:13🔗 Adam Tell you what. Tell you what. Yeah, now we start the show. You know what we're going to start the show with, Drew?

1:24:20🔗 Drew Thank you.

1:24:21🔗 Adam We're going to start the show with a Germany or Florida. First, quick check of the time, 831, 31 after 8 o'clock, 29 away from the top of the house. All right, let's get back to the phones. What do you say, Drew?

1:24:32🔗 Drew Germany or Florida?

1:24:35🔗 Adam Is it Germany or Florida?

1:24:39🔗 Drew Dr. Dag's raucous performance last night. I think we should give him the homage.

1:24:44🔗 Adam We do? We should?

1:24:47🔗 Drew He was belligerent.

1:24:49🔗 Adam He was angered.

1:24:50🔗 Drew He was angered.

1:24:51🔗 Adam We didn't use his Germany or Florida thing. Katie? Hey. Hey, how are you? Great, baby doll. Let's do a little Germany or Florida.

1:25:03🔗 Guest A 23-year-old man called the police and gave him his license plate number, telling them it was a getaway car for a drug dealer. It turns out he had a crush on a female officer who he hoped would arrest him. Unfortunately, the object of the man's affections was not in one of the six police cars that chased him down, and the man was arrested for faking a felony and abusing an emergency hotline.

1:25:24🔗 Drew Emergency hotline, felony, license plates. That all adds up to Florida for me.

1:25:31🔗 Adam Everything horrible just sounds from Florida, but yeah, it's got drugs involved. I don't know. I'm going Florida. Florida?

1:25:38🔗 Drew Florida?

1:25:40🔗 Guest Germany.

1:25:43🔗 Drew Busted.

1:25:43🔗 Adam Wow. Katie, for that, you get nothing, but God bless you for calling it in.

1:25:49🔗 Guest I got a solution for your URL problem, too, for that long web address. If you go to www.tinyurl.com, that's T-I-N-Y-U-R-L, and you should be able to copy and paste the long one, and it'll spit out a little short one for you.

1:26:05🔗 Adam Oh, really? I have no idea how that works. You mean it'll consolidate it?

1:26:10🔗 Guest Yeah, there's a little box that it makes one up.

1:26:13🔗 Drew Anderson, do that.

1:26:14🔗 Guest It'll give you one that's like tinyurl.com/ and then like four letters or something like that.

1:26:20🔗 Adam Well, thanks, Katie, and by the way, Anderson says he has a more efficient way to find this cartoon.

1:26:28🔗 Caller I'm a little reluctant to say it because I don't want the whole thing to crash, but if you go to Loveline Companion, they have it there.

1:26:36🔗 Drew Oh, really?

1:26:36🔗 Caller Yeah, so go to Google and then type in Loveline Companion, go to the forum and you can find it.

1:26:40🔗 Drew In the forum?

1:26:42🔗 Caller Yeah, in the forum. It's the closest thing we have to an official website and Brian's on it all the time, reading it about himself.

1:26:50🔗 Adam Really?

1:26:51🔗 Caller He's the one who came in and told me that it was in there.

1:26:53🔗 Adam Oh, all right. Is Brian just reading stuff about himself that he wrote earlier in the day?

1:26:59🔗 Caller Very well could be. I don't know. There might not be stuff about him on there. I don't know.

1:27:03🔗 Caller I'm actually just posting stuff about myself under a different name.

1:27:08🔗 Adam Brian. Oh, boy, this guy's a great, great, look, greatest asset. He is the show.

1:27:14🔗 Caller Really?

1:27:15🔗 Caller He thinks he's clever because he misspells his name, too.

1:27:17🔗 Caller All right.

1:27:19🔗 Adam Let's see.

1:27:20🔗 Caller You can go to say once again, go to Google, type in Loveline Companion and then go to the form and they'll have I think it's the first thing on the last time I looked anyways.

1:27:28🔗 Adam It is a very funny animation that somebody did based on a bit we were doing on the radio.

1:27:33🔗 Caller They added stuff to they had like the shaking shaker that wasn't on there.

1:27:38🔗 Adam No, they put little sound effects in there and chopped up some of the audio and the audio felt like it was pretty much running real time. I think that was real pretty much straight through, but they had a little sound effects and stuff. And I don't know, Anderson, you may have more insight to this. I don't know how they animated it, but it looked good.

1:27:57🔗 Caller It's a flash program. That's what it looks like to me. You have to have a quick, you have to have a very fast machine for it to work.

1:28:03🔗 Adam You do it on a computer.

1:28:05🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:28:06🔗 Adam No, no, no. What? No. Shush up, Drew. What I'm saying is how they animated it.

1:28:10🔗 Drew Right. What does that mean? It's an animated flash program.

1:28:13🔗 Caller It's animation that it's a program that they use on the computers.

1:28:17🔗 Drew So anybody could have that program.

1:28:18🔗 Caller Yeah, but I mean, it was a good artist who did it.

1:28:21🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:28:21🔗 Drew I see.

1:28:22🔗 Caller And they cut the hell out of it just to let you know.

1:28:24🔗 Adam Really?

1:28:25🔗 Drew The sound?

1:28:25🔗 Caller That's not real time.

1:28:27🔗 Adam No, because I wasn't yelling at Chris to go get me coffee.

1:28:32🔗 Drew I thought that was missed. That would have come right about that one point.

1:28:35🔗 Caller Drew looked pompous. I liked it.

1:28:36🔗 Adam Stephanie? You're 21?

1:28:40🔗 Drew Pompous.

1:28:42🔗 Adam What's up?

1:28:44🔗 Caller I just remembered Dr. Drew always talking about how being sexually molested when you're a kid affects you.

1:29:01🔗 Drew It affects things, yes.

1:29:09🔗 Caller I was somewhat sexually molested when I was a kid, when I was a little girl, and now I'm not that bad at all, now today, but it didn't really cross my mind before, but for some reason I just started thinking about it now.

1:29:28🔗 Drew Well, usually something will trigger sort of a second exposure to trauma, and these inciting influences can be rather mild, like you break up with a girl or boyfriend or something. Something triggers you and you sort of re-traumatize, and then the flashbacks start and the uncontrolled feelings and that's when things usually become more of a problem.

1:29:48🔗 Adam How about a little therapy, baby doll? Well, like you go in and talk to a therapist. It says he or your brother did this to you?

1:30:03🔗 Drew That's very serious.

1:30:04🔗 Adam How old were you?

1:30:06🔗 Drew Six.

1:30:07🔗 Adam Six.

1:30:08🔗 Caller How old was he? In elementary days, and I remember what...

1:30:11🔗 Drew She didn't tell us six. I'm tuning to that.

1:30:13🔗 Adam Oh, that's what she sounds like. How old was he?

1:30:17🔗 Caller Oh, he was probably in middle school days.

1:30:24🔗 Drew He was in early teens.

1:30:27🔗 Caller Yeah, possibly.

1:30:28🔗 Drew All right.

1:30:28🔗 Adam So, that's bad stuff. And God knows where he is today, and if he has kids, I'm going to kill myself. Does he have kids?

1:30:37🔗 Drew Yeah. Good.

1:30:38🔗 Adam Good. Because they were taken away from him or because he's in jail or where is he? He's doing fine. All right. God bless him. How about you get some therapy?

1:30:53🔗 Drew These are profound issues. They take a lot of time.

1:30:55🔗 Adam How about you answer, by the way, or just an affirmative?

1:30:57🔗 Drew Or she's angry, she's abused.

1:30:58🔗 Adam Okay. How about a grunt, though? All right. You got to get therapy. And you know what I realized? I, talking on the phone tonight on the way in, it cut out. I went on, you know, I'm always, I speak in rants or I don't speak at all. Yes. And I went, you know, 17 off ramps and I realized the person cut out somewhere around my house. And that's why with cell phones, I need we should start, you know, let me tell you what the Japanese do when one of them's talking and he's making a point. The one's like, hi, hi, hi, hi. They just it's Japanese for yes. I'm listening. There's nothing wrong. You're on the cell phone. You're like, you're wax on. And then it's like, you know what I'm talking about? Hello? Well, I now realize I've had six months worth of collective conversations where no one's on the airline. We need to start doing the affirmative thing that they do. They do it on the radio.

1:31:51🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:31:51🔗 Adam They do it. That's what the military does. I want to hear I. I want, hi.

1:31:56🔗 Drew Hi.

1:31:57🔗 Adam So Drew. Over. I'm saying we got to move. We got to take Israel. We got to move it to Baja, California. And then let them resettle there. And I'll get that country.

1:32:06🔗 Caller Hi.

1:32:06🔗 Adam We're going to take a break.

1:32:08🔗 Drew It's invigorating.

1:32:09🔗 Adam Drew, hey, okay. After this.

1:32:15🔗 Caller Love line will be right back, so get your problems ready.

1:32:18🔗 Adam Ready. Drew, how much money do you got? I'm telling you, I'm getting fired up. I'm gonna start this show off right, Drew.

1:32:42🔗 Drew We don't want to peak too early.

1:32:43🔗 Adam We're almost out of time, but I'm feeling like-

1:32:45🔗 Drew Gonna break for traffic and weather.

1:32:47🔗 Adam Blah, and blah. Hey, look out on the 405 for blah. Hey, the Middle East, blah. Hey, what's temperature in Inseadup? Blah. That's the same.

1:32:57🔗 Drew That's good times.

1:32:58🔗 Adam Same information. All right, so until next time, this is Adam Carolla for Dr. Drew saying, blah, hollow. I told him to put in there is me yelling at engineer Chris to get coffee.

1:33:09🔗 Drew That's the next installment.

1:33:12🔗 Caller This has been Love Line.

1:33:17🔗 Caller The opinions expressed in this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or the station.

1:33:25🔗 Adam The producer for Love Line is Aningold. Love Line is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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