9:14🔗
Voiceover
Loveline is meant for an adult audience. Loveline may contain sexually-oriented content. Sexually-oriented content. Listener discretion is advised. Listener discretion is advised.
9:39🔗
Adam
That's Dr. Drew. Phone number, 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1, Dr. Drew, board certified physician, addiction medicine specialist. Oh, yeah. Get it on, everybody. We're going to get it on.
9:54🔗
Adam
I got the finger from engineer Chris. One of the reasons I got into radio was to get the finger.
10:04🔗
Adam
You know, whenever you watch a movie and they're in the radio, first off, they don't wear headphones, or as we call them, cans. That's the one thing they never do.
10:28🔗
Adam
Well, first off, opera not a hobby, you not a celebrity. I don't think it works on any level. You know, it's funny. I've watched celebrity hobby before. What is it on? DIY? I watch all those channels. I love all those do-it-yourself things and Home and Garden and all that crap. But I have seen celebrity hobby and basically, and Drew, I know you haven't, here's what it breaks down. It's either celebrities you've never heard of or ones you have heard of that are just pimping their stuff. Like Sammy Hagar's hobby is cooking with Sammy Hagar tequila. Habo wabo tequila. By the way, your hobby, cooking with tequila, and by the way, how big an alcoholic do you have to be to actually make scrambled eggs with tequila? You just can't take a shot, you've got to dump it in everything you're actually making.
11:28🔗
Adam
Wow, I've heard of him. That's shocking. You know, I'll tell you one one day. So usually the usually on the celebrity hobby things, it's like she was the neighbor's son from the Parkers. Now she makes mobiles. It's like, I don't know. I don't know what she's making. I don't know who she is. I've never seen this person before in my life. And let me tell you something. I'm not I'm not just being a snob. I've wide peripheral vision for celebrities. They have celebrities that I've never heard of or never seen. But I was watching. I was watching one day and and they said, And now next on Celebrity Hobbies. And I turn to my wife and I said, Yeah, this is going to be good. I guarantee you've never seen this person before in your life. The person was Chris Darga, who stays in step with them because no, you don't know who Chris Darga is and nobody else does either. He's a good friend of mine who I worked with for many years and had a construction business with and stuff. It was just ironic that I made the proclamation that hold still, honey, believe me, you've never seen this person.
12:46🔗
Adam
No, it's incredible. He makes them out of fiberglass and epoxy, injected molding and extruding. It's crazy.
13:00🔗
Adam
Let me explain. And this has nothing to do with anything, but I used to be a carpenter and I had a little business and it was me and my buddy Chris Darga who was over at the Groundlings. And he's been in Bruce Almighty and the Hudsucker Proxy and Seinfeld. You would recognize the guy in a second. Punch up Chris Darga, Chris. Come on, buddy. Let's go.
13:22🔗
Adam
Do I have to tell you? You should have been on that. The point is, is at some point, the guy just starts like Richard Dreyfuss. And Drew, you can come in with the movie name at any given time.
13:44🔗
Adam
Close Encounters. He just gets inspired and starts going nuts and starts building these like molds and stuff and making from scratch like dinosaurs, like first small figurine size ones. Figures possessed or something. Next thing you know, he's got a Tyrannosaurus rex, a T-Rex head that's like eight feet big and he's selling it for like $20,000. It's weird. He just went nuts. He never mentioned a thing about dinosaurs. He never talked about sculpting. He never talked about anything.
14:16🔗
Adam
That he spent six years on. It's like that experimental spacecraft they put up there. It's like they win the $10 million prize. $25 million. There you go, everybody. You're getting 30 cents back on the dollar. Hey, everyone, Drew punched a mic.
14:36🔗
Adam
No. When you show this, run it in slow motion, like they do in boxing. Let's get a mic punching analyst in there to say, look at Drew. Look at that form. Dips to the left shoulder, then pow, clips it with an uppercut.
14:54🔗
Adam
We're going to get it on. Bonnie Summerville is in here tomorrow night from NYPD Blue. And then Puddle O. Mudd is in here on Wednesday night. And we're going to get calls from Iraq. They're actually going to call in from Iraq and talk to Puddle Mudd, who was just over in Iraq doing a USO show. Are you ready to go? Sam. You're 16? When does this when does this celebrity hobby air, by the way, Drew? Nobody knows. Nobody knows. Watch for that. What's up, Sam?
15:27🔗
Caller
I'm like I'm 16. I'm really sexual and everything. And I just I don't know. I don't like any sex except for anal. Is that weird?
15:59🔗
Caller
Reframe. The question is, OK, is it like, are you not supposed to do that? I mean, could you like hurt yourself or?
16:05🔗
Drew
No, you better come up with a better question than that because obviously you could hurt yourself. Well, you don't have to use your imagination too much to realize you could hurt yourself.
16:12🔗
Adam
All right. Do you have a boyfriend? No, no, this just random guys. Yeah. Is there a guy in the room with you right now? Put him on the phone. Hand him the phone.
16:29🔗
Adam
Give him the phone. Go get him. Go get him. Go get him. Like I'm talking to my dog. Get him, get him. Go get it, girl. All right. Well, who are you having anal sex with then?
16:42🔗
Caller
Just like friends and guys on the football team type deal. I don't know. I just, I didn't know if that was like not normal or if it's like-
16:50🔗
Adam
Well, whose, whose suggestion is the anal sex? Is it your idea or is it they just keep going?
16:57🔗
Caller
Oh, it's my idea, usually. It's just, I don't know. It just seems more fun and like enjoyable.
17:03🔗
Adam
Hold on a second, same as like- Okay. She has a little serial killer in her. She not this. All right.
17:17🔗
Adam
She's a sort of, I like anal sex and who, oh, whoever, you have a boyfriend? No, not really. It's just got guys on the football team or friends or whoever.
17:25🔗
Drew
But even people who behave like that know they're doing things that aren't normal. They know that.
17:34🔗
Adam
Am I normal? Yeah, yeah, yeah, you are. Every 16 year old in America is taking up the poop shit. Absolutely.
17:44🔗
Adam
The football team. Well, other parts, sometimes it's lacrosse teams, you know, if you're going to like a prep school or something like that. Depends on the part of the country you're in. In the New England area, it might be a lacrosse team. Sure. Sam. Where are your parents?
18:27🔗
Caller
They were normal. They were married and then they had gotten divorced and they were living together.
18:38🔗
Caller
Well, it was through my brother, but she got caught up in it and she started dating one of the guys that my brother hangs out with.
18:56🔗
Adam
Sam. You were getting caught up in an anal gang. Do you hear me? Have you ever run with that crowd?
19:04🔗
No.
19:06🔗
No.
19:08🔗
Adam
Think about it. Of course, you know what color the anal gang bandana is? You know what the colors are?
19:13🔗
No.
19:13🔗
Adam
No. Well, it wouldn't be yellow. That's a different gang. Different gang. Sam? Yeah. Okay. So, stop.
19:26🔗
Drew
All this acting out sexually, the need for super higher levels of arousal. That's all a function of the horrible upbringing or the horrible situation in your family when you're growing up. It's a mess. A mess. I'm sure you saw a lot of sort of over stimulating, sort of shattering kinds of things, right? Well, I don't know. Did you see a lot of aggressive violence?
19:49🔗
Adam
Listen, who cares? Sam, you're going to need some therapy, baby doll. I'm sorry to say it. It's not your fault, but eventually it's your lot. You know what I mean? I mean, let's talk about this for a second, Drew. You know, people shrug it off, like where we go, look, for what you've been through, for what you've seen, for you've been victimized, your parents, whatever, your family, you're going to need some help. You're going to need some work on this. And people shrug it off, sort of like, come on. And the shrug is sort of half, I don't need to do it in half. That's not my problem. My parents are crazy. Unfortunately, it is the hand you were dealt. And it's really, it's like shrugging off a bad hand and you're just going to insist on staying in the game. No, no, no, no, no. You're going to have to fold. You will have to fold. You have to do something.
20:37🔗
Drew
And yet again, once again, whenever it pertains to the central nervous system, i.e. the brain, people have a way of sort of dismissing it as like, well, that's nonsense. On the other hand, if she had two disordered limbs, she couldn't walk on her legs.
20:51🔗
Drew
She'd be like, oh, I'm going to be a champion and I'm going to make sure that I can walk and run again and I'm going to overcome this.
21:02🔗
Adam
You would be better. You would be happier if your child had an anus where your mouth was and a mouth where the anus was.
21:12🔗
Adam
It really should be. You should have an anus where your mouth is and a mouth where your anus is and have to eat rectally and make number two like your vomit.
21:22🔗
Drew
No, no. You're not a good Yiddish. You're right. You should have an anus where your mouth is and a mouth where your anus is and you should have diarrhea.
21:33🔗
Adam
Yes, you should. That's what you should have. Yeah, same. Therapy, baby doll. Yeah, somehow. And stop. Stop for a little bit. Get yourself together now. Sorry for your mom and what you've seen, but now you've got to get... She didn't sound stupid.
21:53🔗
Adam
She sounded like she had been forced to be an adult prematurely through what she'd seen in her experiences.
22:01🔗
Drew
You know what would be helpful for her, actually? You don't advise this to women very often, Adam, but a friend. If she has friends to hang out with, that would be helpful to her. People who actually care about her, not participating in all the craziness with her, just spend simple time with her.
22:14🔗
Right.
22:22🔗
Good Times.
22:25🔗
Caller
Oh yeah. And it has this link to where it says, characteristics of a serial killer, and I was laughing like a madman because first of all, they describe 85% of the male population and second, they describe you, Adam, like almost all of them.
22:42🔗
Adam
You might be surprised. Well, not a way to be. What do you got over there, by the way? And most of these things, you know, they do suck you in by having common characteristics and then there's two or three that you're missing, and that's what really defines that population.
22:56🔗
Drew
They tend to just, they tend to torture small animals. They tend to smear their feces and play with their poo and stuff.
23:15🔗
Caller
They hate their fathers and mothers. They do poorly in school, having trouble holding down jobs, and often work as unskilled laborers.
23:35🔗
Adam
14, all right. All right, so, okay, so, okay, I'm not huge fans of my family, I got to say that, and yeah, I did poorly in school, and yeah, a little fecal play now and again.
23:49🔗
Caller
They tend to come from markedly unstable families. I think like a madman. Oh, I've got a drop, I'm so.
24:04🔗
Smuggled a lot of weed bags.
24:12🔗
Adam
No, no, no, not me. Unless, you know, if you count a mom who locks herself in a room and yells freak out, that is domineering, but I wouldn't.
24:23🔗
Adam
No, because if he wanted to be dominated by my mom, it'd be like, Mom, Mom, you in there?
24:30🔗
Adam
You want to come out and dominate, undo the lock on the door, come out, do some dominating. And by the way, why don't you make something to eat? Make some eggs, then dominate, then back in the room for a bond life. OK, there's your schedule. Go ahead, Pax.
25:26🔗
Caller
They're commonly abused as children, psychologically, physically, and sexually. Often the abuse is by a family member. Psychologically.
25:39🔗
Caller
And the last one that I can see having any application is from an early age, many are intensely interested in voyeurism, fetishism, and sadomastic pornography.
26:06🔗
Drew
I thought that was interesting that he was, I never thought about it that way for you, but he has it that way in his publishing archives.
26:20🔗
Caller
And there's one more. The one for the mad props is they tend to be intelligent with IQs in the bright to normal range.
26:27🔗
Adam
Well, I recently took an IQ test and I think I got, what did I get, like an 86? Maybe a 91.
26:36🔗
Thanks Anderson.
26:39🔗
Adam
By the way, Anderson, you know in a picture, Anderson must wear one of those quarterback wristbands that they wear in the NFL that have all, you know, rookie quarterbacks where they have all the plays. It's like, heading is list of Corolla's failures. Just a quick cheat sheet.
26:56🔗
Adam
I'm just saying, this is this is just a little cheat sheet, you know. No, I remember 91.
27:22🔗
Adam
I cracked three digits. That's when I took the test and just circled answers as fast as I could. Which by the way, which probably means your test needs a little bit of help. Because when I actually study it and take an hour with it, I get a 91. And then when I circle random answers as fast as I can, I do 20% better. Let me get to Pax one more time here. Pax. Yeah. What are the other questions? Forget about the ones that have to do with me, but the other ones on the test.
28:18🔗
Adam
No, no, we're talking about bed wetters, not the guy who has the occasional dream he's on the pot and lets loose in the sack.
28:33🔗
Adam
You're full of crap with this, Drew. And you know what? I have to straighten you out as a doctor every once in a while, which is it is common for guys to occasionally, and I'm saying once a year, maybe once every 18 months, to have a little tinkle in bed, a little screw up. I don't do it anymore, but I will do it and have done it periodically, probably every few years since the time I was 15.
29:04🔗
Adam
Okay, here's what I'm going to say. I, yes, I wetted the bed late in life, but I don't think I made it past 12.
29:20🔗
Caller
Many serial killers spend time in institutions with children and have a record of early psychiatric problems.
29:29🔗
Caller
Involved in sadistic activity or tormenting small creatures, but I think you said that. Mm-hmm. I think that might be the loss.
29:38🔗
Adam
Alright. Well, thanks, Pax. It's enlightening. And yeah, I could probably say yes to nine out of the 14.
30:03🔗
Adam
Well, the whole thing is, on the Dr. Phil special, the kid had like eight. And the guy claims that Dahmer had six or something like that. And by the way, it's easy. It's easy with hindsight to just sort of... But by the way, most kids fall... If you want to make a case for... Most kids will hit an anthill with a magnifying glass or wet their bed or something. And there's a lot of these that can stick.
30:35🔗
Drew
But, Max, what happened to that kid that they were talking about on his show? Does he talk about that?
30:45🔗
Drew
Well, it was disastrous what they showed on that show. This kid was profoundly disturbed. The parents were in denial and flipping out simultaneously. And Phil's response was, You need to quit your job and spend more time with this kid. The kid has no problem. It's your relationship that's the problem. The kid's just acting it out.
31:04🔗
Drew
Can you imagine these people are going to lose their insurance resources? This kid will need to be chronically institutionalized. They're going to quit their job.
31:13🔗
Adam
I'll tell you. I'll put a contract down on my kid in case he goes haywire. You're a very practical guy. I will treat him like Old Yeller. I will show him Old Yeller. You see what they did to Old Yeller? I'm trying. I'm doing it right now.
31:33🔗
Adam
I'm just saying, if I got a kid that spins out that way, he's going off to Geneva to military school. Shipped right on out. You're gone, daddy gone. And I do believe bad seeds come into this world. Once in a while, you got a good family, you got a brother and sister, everything's fine, you're fine, you never did anything to the kid, you got a bad seed. It happens in nature all the time. And now we have medications, and we have programs, and we have doctors, and we can make a dent in it. But the truly bad seed, mmm, is going to be tough. And that's where we freeze them. And I'm going to tell my kid, look, I'm going to freeze you, until medical technology catches up with you. Or until I get old and don't care.
32:25🔗
Adam
You're going to be with Ted Williams and Walt Disney. I'll put you right in between them. It'll be awesome. Be like Mount Rushmore, Frozen Heads. Be awesome. And he'll be like, why do you have to cut my head off? Don't ask questions.
32:40🔗
Adam
I'll explain the process to you. Don't tell me about the cryogenics or whatever it's called.
32:46🔗
Adam
I don't know. It seems like they do. I think they're trying to say freezer space. We're going to take ourselves a little break. Dr. Drew in the hizzy. Bonnie Somerville in here tomorrow night from NYPD Bloom and Puddle of Mud. Calls from Iraq from the soldiers in Iraq. The ground pounders in Iraq, Drew. Coming on Wednesday. There's two soldiers on hold.
33:11🔗
Caller
Maybe we should put them on like when we come back because I think they got the dates mixed up.
33:37🔗
Guest
I'm a personal specialist and she's an IMO. IMO? Yeah, what's your information management? Ah, okay.
33:47🔗
Adam
Hold on a second. Could you get any more boring than that, by the way? Really? That's like talking to a Kelly girl. I want to talk to someone who's actually taking fire.
34:14🔗
Adam
Alright, look, we're going to talk to someone, allegedly, in Iraq. They'd have to be. No, chicks would never know information officer and all that kind of stuff.
34:30🔗
Adam
Well, they're young. They could be 18, 19 years old. Oh, yeah. That's the tragedy of war. Alright, we'll take a quick break. When we come back, we'll talk direct after this. On phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1-R. That's military talk.
35:15🔗
Adam
She's a chick, and she knew something about war. Maria? Yeah. What part of Iraq are you in?
35:48🔗
Guest
I don't know, I don't talk to them people too much. I don't know how they pronounce it. I don't get along with those people too well, so.
35:55🔗
Adam
You're an ambassador, okay? And now what do you do? What time do you get up in the morning?
36:37🔗
Adam
8.35 in the morning. So it was about a, we were discussing about 11 hours difference or something like that.
36:55🔗
Adam
Texas. And it's Tuesday, 8.35 in the morning over there. Correct? Yep. And so what's your assessment? And by the way, do you have a question? Do you have a Loveline question? No, you don't have too much top relationships on here. When do you get to head back to the United States?
37:22🔗
Guest
I'm not going back to the States. I head back to Germany in about February, March mainframe, somewhere around there.
37:51🔗
Guest
Well, it was kind of, they were doing some barric maintenance and hit off a mortar off and it came right by our building about a hundred meters away.
38:09🔗
Adam
So you don't feel safe where you are, but are you going outside of the perimeter? Or do you have to go out on patrol or anything?
38:17🔗
Guest
We go out the perimeter and stuff, but we don't go out on patrols or anything like that. Actually, this Bob isn't too bad about, you know, it was actually, I'm not going to say it was completely safe, and I'm not saying that it was just, we didn't get as much action as other Bobs did, but lately, ever since we, you know, all this stuff, we've just been, had a lot of things going on, and it's just like, things have been getting worse day by day, and it's just kind of scary, and things are getting really bad here.
38:46🔗
Drew
Just to set this up again, this is Maria from Texas, but calling from Iraq, she's a what kind of officer? IMO? Information officer?
39:10🔗
Guest
Oh, we do like promotions, we do, it's just stuff like basically paperwork, dealing with all the soldiers, you know, making sure all their, they're squared away, promotions, ID cards, all that good stuff. Mainly paperwork, so.
39:25🔗
Adam
Seems like you can do that from your house. I would argue I could do that from my house in Odessa.
39:34🔗
Adam
Oh, I mean, Maria, sorry. Thanks for calling. It was semi enlightening. How hot is it? Is it hot there now? What's the climate like?
39:52🔗
Guest
Yeah, winter's coming, so it gets kind of chilly in the morning, but it's still hot during the day.
39:57🔗
Adam
Anderson wants to know who you're voting for, that's a good question. Yeah, alright. I guess. Alright, well God bless you, you're doing the Lord's work over there.
40:29🔗
Drew
But I mean, does it get worse in Tikrit? That's the, for Fallujah and Tikrit, and that's it. That's the bad part of stuff.
40:35🔗
Adam
I don't know if it got worse in Tikrit, you know, two years ago. No, the only thing that's worse than Tikrit is Tikrit now. It's first and second in the S category.
41:08🔗
Guest
It's like my fiance, he says he can like go without sex and there's been times when I want to have sex and he doesn't.
41:30🔗
Adam
There are times when I don't want to go without sex. There are other times when he thinks about sex. Maybe he's just freaked out over you hitting sex that hard three or four underline like six times. If you're reading this, you're reading a transcript of this sex would just be in italics and underline. Karen?
43:03🔗
Guest
He has never taken a pill in his life. He doesn't like doctors, so if he can go without it, he won't go to a doctor.
43:16🔗
Guest
It's not most. I have like mood swings, so it's like when I'm in the mood and he's like, honey, I'm just not in the mood. I get pissed that I get up and leave.
43:43🔗
Adam
And you're living together pretty quickly after meeting each other. You've only been going out for five months, right?
43:57🔗
Adam
So you're both doing the telemarketing thing? Yeah. What's, what are you living in Boise, Idaho, yes? What's rent on a one bedroom or two bedroom apartment over there where you're at?
44:13🔗
Adam
Oh, wow. In Los Angeles, they would consider that paying you to live there. You paying $3.50 is considered free. Studio. By the way, you're living in Boise. Splurge a little. Yeah, I'm saying, get yourself something with a kitchen.
44:32🔗
Drew
Well, Karen, you guys have kind of a complex situation, right? You've got bipolar illness, you're on medication, you've had previous hospitalizations and institutional issues. You become hypersexual perhaps from your bipolar condition. You don't have a borderline personality disorder or something like that as well?
44:48🔗
I do have mood swings, though.
44:56🔗
Drew
No, no. The point is that you may have some other things going on besides your bipolar condition that make it very difficult for you to sort of be in a relationship and have intimacy and not be sort of consumed with chaos in a relationship. He either may be freaked out about that or maybe he's got other problems you don't know about yet. Whatever it is, you're a complex couple and his sort of having a lower sex drive than you is probably just a little tiny piece of the story here.
45:24🔗
Adam
All right, so Karen, you realize that you have some issues. He has some issues. Do you love the guy?
45:33🔗
Adam
Well, why don't you not chew his head off if he doesn't want to have sex? And just to see if you guys can get along.
45:45🔗
Drew
You'll love it. The more you guys can freak out a little bit when you come at them too aggressively about sex.
45:48🔗
Right.
45:54🔗
Adam
I thought, like, I fantasize, like, you renting in Boise, smallest we have is a nine bedroom.
46:02🔗
Smallest.
46:03🔗
Adam
It's a four-bedroom. It's nine bedrooms, it's got 11 bathrooms, and it's 3,700 square feet. That's the smallest.
46:15🔗
Adam
Maybe it is. All right. Well, good times, everybody. Our Iraqi connection has dropped off, so we'll pick that up again on Wednesday when Puddle of Mud is in here because they did a little USO action. We'll take ourselves a little break, and when we come back, a tantalizing Germany or Florida – hold on, Drew, don't go anywhere yet. Jordan?
46:39🔗
Oh, hey.
46:48🔗
Caller
All right. This is – I'm not quite sure how long ago – it's about two or three months ago. This guy calls in to his local radio station, requests his favorite song. He then calls back about an hour later, still hasn't heard it, asks DJ why he has not heard it. DJ tells him not the kind of song he wants to play right then, then hangs up on the guy. The guy calls back a total of 17 times, still can't get a song played, calls in an 18th time, tells him if he doesn't play, he's going to blow the place up, waits about 15 minutes, then walks down to the station with a handgun, and then was apprehended by police, and that's pretty much what happened.
47:23🔗
Adam
Alright, hold on a second. We'll decide whether that was Germany, Drew I know you've probably already made a decision, don't do it.
47:45🔗
Loveline is brought to you by Sprint PCS with ReadyLink.
48:10🔗
Adam
Yeah. What's that? Hey, that's Drew, everybody. He doesn't know. I'm Adam. Phone number, 1-800-LOVE-191. All right, when we left off, we're speaking to Jordan. Jordan 16. Jordan has a Germany or Florida for us. Jordan said that a guy called in a radio station kept making a request for a song. The guy would not adhere to his request and then said he was heading over there to shoot the place up and a cop said.
48:39🔗
Adam
And they said, blow it up, but they caught him heading over there with a gun. Now, he said blow it up, but they caught him with a gun.
48:44🔗
Drew
Now, here's the way this goes. First of all, making threats to a radio station is a pretty American thing to do.
48:54🔗
Drew
The hacking around, walking around with a gun, American, people calling 911 for the police for all kinds of things, American. Radio discharge, you pick up the phone, impossible. Yeah. Not in this country.
49:35🔗
Adam
No one's keeping score. God keeps score, Drew. That's who keeps score. Look, we really, I really mean we've screwed up one in the last 15 or 16. All right, Gina. 21. What's up, Babydoll?
50:04🔗
Caller
And he got dumped, so my friend set me up with him, like, hey, just go out with him. So I did. And everything was going fine. And then we kind of fooled around and then.
50:28🔗
Caller
And then, blah, blah, blah, he goes out with this another girl and he ends up fooling around with her and apparently everybody's supposed to know about it except for me because.
50:58🔗
Drew
He's in a hole. Stay away. Did he actually dump you or did he just start seeing other people?
51:10🔗
Drew
He's a colossal a-hole. He wants to see if he can have sex with you even though you're not having a relationship.
51:41🔗
Adam
Drew is a man of passion and a man of supreme passion who spread that passion like so much margarine on anyone who came into his passion crosshair. Anyone who crossed his passion path got creamed with his passion. A rich, frothy, spreadable tub of passion. That was Drew. And even Drew, Drew is a conscientious man. I mean, Conscientious passion. He's passionate first, conscientious second. Yes? Yes. And you know, Drew, you know what a man is capable of.
52:21🔗
Maria?
52:29🔗
All right.
52:46🔗
Caller
Well, she was just wondering when she could start smoking pot or eating brownies. Well, we had a newborn a couple weeks ago. We don't get high all the time, but you're Mormon? For a while, she's breastfeeding and...
53:47🔗
Caller
Yeah, a little nervous and a little taken back. I wasn't, I was expecting to wake up and give her the phone, but.
53:54🔗
Adam
All right, so you're a smart guy. She's a smart girl. What does she do besides being a mom?
54:05🔗
Drew
Draws blood. She's gonna have a problem if she gets caught at the hospital. She should really, I mean, pot'll stay in her system for at least three days. This is gonna be a problem for her. Is she, and by the way, if you're a smoking pot enough that you're endangering your child, endangering your job, that's not a casual user.
54:54🔗
Drew
Because it's just so much blood drawn from a hospital to keep the testing we need. People are having blood drawn every hour sometimes.
55:00🔗
Adam
So they're lower than a nurse. Yeah. They don't need a lot of training. But decent gig, right? It's fricking people all day long, those PO'd. Oh, all right. We're gonna take a little break. We'll be right back after this.
55:14🔗
Caller
All right, guys, bottom line. Here's the deal. Sick of wasting time with the wrong person. One call is all you need to make.
55:54🔗
Adam
Yeah, oh yeah. Groot digs this song. I do? No, but you're popping your head, though. Hey, Bonnie Summerville in Here Tomorrow Night from NYPD Blue, and then Puddle Mud in Here on Wednesday, Dave DeVarro in Next Week, and it's back to the phones we go. Michelle.
56:29🔗
Caller
We found out that my husband has hepatitis C. So I just wanted to know if we should have kids or what we should do.
56:47🔗
Drew
Are you worried about having kids in terms of vertical transmission to the kids or in terms of his survivability?
57:00🔗
Drew
It can be. There's actually a debate about whether it can be, but I am absolutely convinced that it can be. I've seen a few cases where there's absolutely no other way I can imagine it had been transmitted. It's a retrovirus. It's very much like HIV in terms of how the virus behaves. So it makes sense that it would be sexually transmitted. But it's not an easy one to get. It's a difficult one to get.
57:26🔗
Drew
And if you don't have it, the kids aren't going to get it from household contact. So you don't have to worry about it.
57:31🔗
Drew
So yeah, it's fine to have kids. Now, he needs to be treated. There's about a 30 percent cure rate or so with certain, it depends on the selection of the kind of virus, that sort of thing, how the virus is behaving. But he definitely should go for cure.
57:47🔗
Caller
I haven't yet, because we just recently found out that he does. So I haven't checked yet to see if I do.
58:03🔗
Caller
Yeah, he is. Well, we're still finding out a bunch of information about it, because I mean, he goes to get his blood checked often, since he is a hemophiliac, so because he's a severe hemophiliac, so he gets his blood tested often, and we knew that he might have it, but I guess when he got checked a little while ago, they said that he might have it, but they want to check again, so they just recently checked again and said that he for sure does have it.
58:38🔗
Drew
They're not abnormal, they often won't even treat people with hepatitis C, but as soon as the transaminases, so to speak, become active, start elevating, then they use something called pedulated interferon and sometimes rabavirin with that. That's pretty good.
58:50🔗
Drew
You feel like hell for not six months. You feel like you have the flu for six months. Can you imagine that?
59:26🔗
Drew
No, it's not the platelets. It's the factors in the blood that result in a clot formation.
59:30🔗
Adam
And do hemophiliac, now everyone seems to think, well, hemophiliac, if he gets cut, he'll just continue to bleed. But why do you need to get all the transfusions and things?
59:44🔗
Adam
You're absorbing your own blood and it needs to be put back into you? I mean, you have an internal blood leak, in other words?
1:00:01🔗
Drew
He's getting the factor. He's getting the factor that his body doesn't manufacture. It's just a concentrate of a factor.
1:00:20🔗
Drew
These days, they have genetically engineered stuff. Michelle? Did he get the Hep C from transfusions or from- Factor. Tainted factor.
1:00:30🔗
Adam
All right, factor. Yeah, so it's not like you get a cut on your hand, you never stop bleeding. I mean, that's the popular man.
1:00:39🔗
Drew
Some versions of it, but it can be difficult for them to stop bleeding. Yeah, it's not like they just pour out.
1:00:43🔗
Adam
Right, all right. All right, because that, you just don't cut yourself, and if you do, put a tourniquet on.
1:00:49🔗
Drew
But the more you bleed into your brain and things, there are horrible things gonna happen.
1:01:00🔗
Caller
Not too much, I'll see you later. I got some problems here. I've been seeing this girl explicitly for about two weeks. We've been kind of dating on and off for like three or four months now. But the problem is like, we go out on dates and stuff like that, like I pay for everything, and she never offers to pay for anything at all, like movies, tickets, gas, I mean, anything. And I'm-
1:02:00🔗
Adam
Not only gas, yeah, maintenance. As my mother once explained to me many, many years ago, when I finally did the goddamn math on the mileage, which was I wanted to ride from North Hollywood to Van Nuys, which is about three miles as the crow flies. And she was explaining, oh, did my parents get mileage out of that gas crunch of, you know, 1977 or whenever the hell that oil- The first one, yes. Margo thing, oh, talk about mileage. Forget about it. I mean, it was like all of a sudden, you know, the gas went from-
1:02:33🔗
Adam
No, no, yeah, whatever. It was 50 cents a gallon, it went up to 80 cents a gallon. Oh, forget about it. We had to push the car around now. Yeah, yeah, we got a donkey to pull the car.
1:02:49🔗
Adam
Yeah, and so as my mother explained to me when I told her, look, Van Nuys, three miles, you drive a VW Squareback, you get 30 miles a gallon there and back. Six miles, that's less than a quarter gallon, which it's about 18 cents. She said, yes, but every time you start the car up, it costs money. And I thought, I gotta kill myself. I have to kill myself. How did I get born into these people?
1:03:25🔗
Drew
Two miles across, across Pasadena. And again, the talk about the maintenance in the car.
1:03:32🔗
Adam
I swear to Christ, I get in my car and just drive in circles around the block because I can. My parents had me convinced that getting in the car and rolling to the end of the street was something you had to plan months in advance. You might as well go to the summit of Everest during the winter. That's what it'd be like. And we're talking one small valley city to a neighboring small valley city. If you want to start talking about going over the hill or into a Simi Valley or Santa Monica or something. Oh, it's like you needed permits, checkpoints, visas. Oh, forget it, you had to get shots. Are you kidding?
1:04:11🔗
Adam
All right, so the point is, yeah, well, it's not only gas, but it is oil. There's friction. When you start the car up, that's the dangerous time. That's when you got metal on metal bearing friction there. And then again, you know, if you've got, if you have a lease, you're getting a new lease mileage there. And wear and tear on the upholstery, dashboard, carpeting, things like that. And door hinges open and close.
1:04:42🔗
Caller
Yeah, but anyway, I'm just starting to think like the whole relationship is based on like her living off of me.
1:05:29🔗
Adam
All right, let me, like, let me. Oh, that's a shame. You better hope she's hot. Here's the thing, Will. Okay, here's what it is. You will and should continue to pay for things. That's, call me old fashioned. That's how it goes.
1:06:00🔗
Adam
Thanks, buddy. She gets that, you get sex, everyone's happy. It sounds to me like you're not sure where she stands though and you might want to ask her, look, are we boyfriend and girlfriend? Are we just dating?
1:06:11🔗
Drew
Isn't kind of a little bit of a paranoid thought that she's just using me for money when she's engaged in the traditional cultural behavior of dating.
1:06:19🔗
Adam
Dating and having sex, yeah. Will? Yeah. Yeah, how old is she? All right, she doesn't have any money. What do you do?
1:06:32🔗
Adam
All right, all right, you're rolling it, clover. Just take her, pay for her, have sex with her and talk to her, I don't know what's going on. Talk to her. I rarely say that.
1:06:45🔗
Adam
I could remember going out on dates though and having them cost money and hurting a little bit.
1:06:58🔗
Adam
Yeah, I remember it stinging a little, especially no sex afterward. That was extra rough. You were passionate, man, you didn't have that.
1:07:07🔗
Adam
I had a horrible situation in that I hated my job. I hated it and it was like physically, it was almost borderline abusive. Like, you know, just sort of digging and hauling trash and stuff like that, you know.
1:07:21🔗
Drew
Guys, here we go. Did we not take ourselves back into that horrible feeling state? This feels awfully familiar. What were we talking about last week? Something that made us feel awful.
1:07:31🔗
Adam
I felt, I hated my job and I got paid like seven, eight, nine bucks, whatever, I moved up. But point is, is I would torture myself by converting everything into an hour of work. And when your hour of work is, your hour of work, what I did wasn't, you're at your desk, you're talking on the phone. It's sort of, when you work in an office, things sort of bleed into other things. There's personal bleeds into work. Like what it is is you're typing away, you're doing your thing, and then the phone rings. Hey, it's your wife. You start talking to her for 10 minutes. You work, hey, hey, little business. You pay the phone bill and then they hang up. Then it's back to typing it.
1:08:23🔗
Adam
Great conversation with folks from Guatemala and Salvador and Mexico. And here's the deal. So I would take everything and say, okay, you want to order an appetizer. All right. That Bloomin Onion. 45 minutes, 695. I'm getting 8.50 an hour minus taxes. Okay, that's an hour. It's gonna have, and everything was just, you know, that's two hours. Ooh, glass of wine. Uh-oh. Oh, that was, that's when it broke. Afternoon. Start getting in that wine. That's an afternoon's work. Oh, and just, it was devastating. And then if it wasn't great, oh, so I would just drive home trying to belch up what I ate to save, if I get like 50 cents back on my money. All right, let's talk to David over here, Drew. Yeah. David? 23?
1:09:19🔗
Caller
Well, I'm calling cause I have a problem. I'm a compulsive, I think a compulsive masturbator. And I want to know if you guys knew how to cut that loose.
1:09:32🔗
Adam
Well, we'll see if you're compulsive or not. Chris, get on the Dr. Phil website. See if we can find that. You ever wipe yourself with a curtain or drape? That's one. Do you have to put the picture of your mom down on the nightstand so you can focus? That's another. Are you good? You ever pulled off a hat trick without a severe calf cramp? That's-
1:10:08🔗
Drew
Are you doing anything that costs money or that having consequence, you know what I mean, with the behavior? No. So it's just something you just do, you don't do it publicly, no other-
1:10:20🔗
Caller
I have a wife and child, but she's great and everything's perfect. It's just, I just don't get enough, I think. I've been doing this since I was like 13, 14 years old. Yeah.
1:10:46🔗
Drew
And you're just by yourself, you don't do anything risk-taking with it or anything of that sort? No. It's just a compulsive thing that kinda bothers you, wish you could control, but it's not an addiction and having any consequence from it.
1:10:59🔗
Adam
Yeah, but I understand when there are things that you feel like you'd like to control, but you can't, it makes you feel out of control. So why don't you try cutting it down to twice a day? You could do that. I think you could do that.
1:11:19🔗
Drew
I'm going to National Council on Sexual Addiction Compulsivity, I'll bring lots of good information back, but I can't think of it.
1:11:34🔗
Drew
But it's not as though as any of the other access or any other stimulants that you're using, nothing else going on here?
1:11:56🔗
Adam
Well, let me say this too. 24 year old guy, 23 year old guy, he's married, he has a kid, feels a little caged in. This is a way for a guy to assert himself in a bizarre way.
1:12:08🔗
Adam
It's me time. It really is. And we haven't talked about this in a long time, which is guys are sort of domesticated. They're not really, they're born into the wild and they would like to do what we all, the rock star life essentially, but they get domesticated, essentially broken and contained. And then they're forced to sort of do their thing. It's easier for guys 35 to do that than a guy's 22.
1:12:38🔗
Adam
And I think sometimes, and stop me if I'm wrong, but a lot of couples get married and they don't have a lot of money and they live in confined quarters. So you physically don't have the space. And people don't make enough of this, you know, when they're like, oh, well, you're in love, you're in love. When you're living on top of-
1:13:12🔗
Adam
And masturbating. Right, so what you do with a guy is you sort of prematurely domesticate him.
1:13:20🔗
Adam
And now, now he's living in very confined space with a child, with a woman. And now he wants to sort of claim some of his own life back, even if it's just an imaginary life. He's gonna get on the internet, he's gonna have a little fantasy, he's gonna masturbate, maybe even, true, head butted the mic that time, wow. He's gonna create a little fantasy life for himself. And it's equivalent to the guy who's in prison putting a little picture that he pulled out of the Life Magazine of a Jamaican tropical stream, you know? And it's just a little glimpse of the outside world. Now, when the warden comes in and rips the picture off and throws it away, now you got an angry prisoner. Now someone's gonna put a shiv in someone out in the yard. As a woman, who's a warden, you guys have to realize, especially you got a 22 year old guy, back off, let him beat off. Oh, we'll write that down.
1:14:17🔗
Adam
Give him a little room. Do not put the screws to him. What ends up happening is the guy gets the screws put to him, starts feeling kind of pressured and cornered, even if he's not, then goes outside the house. Then next thing you know, he's at a bachelor party, he's on top of some chicks, somebody rats him out, and the relationship's over.
1:14:41🔗
Drew
It may be something, you're absolutely right, and it may be something sort of sociobiological, maybe something that happens to the male human when you put him in a confined situation.
1:14:51🔗
Drew
He just starts masturbating more. It's just a behavior that emerges from the biology of containment.
1:14:56🔗
Drew
I know it's an explanation you've given that's good, but it may be something just more matter of fact.
1:15:00🔗
Adam
Well, it's like masturbation becomes a metaphor for carving out quality time with your junk. It is like, I could remember living in like little apartments with chicks, like what she get home from work? Okay, I could get one. Well, maybe two. She can be home in eight minutes.
1:15:20🔗
Drew
You can argue that it's a way of, some masturbation is sort of an aggressive act too. It's a way of just going, it's just marring for now.
1:15:32🔗
Adam
Retrospect. The socks all came out one piece. It was one, the shape of the drawer. Like a, you know, like frozen peas. I get it.
1:15:46🔗
Adam
Cauliflower, we just put a fork in it. She actually put a fork in it and lifted the whole thing out at once. It was a soxical. Yeah, that was aggressive. That was aggressive. We had to, we had to, we had to soak it and we had to soak it in salt and baking soda and warm water just to break it up. I used a mop handle to break it up. I actually broke the mop handle trying to pry it. I should have soaked it a little longer.
1:16:15🔗
Adam
That was aggressive. I think that was aggressive. But other than that, basically just trying to carve a little me time.
1:16:30🔗
Adam
I was thinking about this the other day. For some reason, I don't even know how I had it, but for some reason I had the Playboy channel. I must have had like cable and it must have done some sort of thing where you get the Playboy channel.
1:16:49🔗
Drew
Well, that was sort of the first sort of version of cable. You get the Playboy channel.
1:16:53🔗
Adam
You get the Playboy channel. And I had the cable. And I remember sort of looking and saying they were advertising some show that I really wanted to see. And I wanted big top. Yeah, it was big top. I wanted to tape it. I wanted to tape it.
1:17:12🔗
Adam
But I was so lame that I couldn't figure out how to program the VCR. And I actually, here's what's happened in my life. I spent 20 years trying to figure out how to program the VCR. And then TiVo just came in and I just had, but I never actually learned.
1:17:29🔗
Adam
Okay, good. I actually had my buddy, John, come around to break into my apartment. I told him, look, me and the gal pal are gonna be out to dinner Friday. We're gonna leave at eight. The show starts at nine. I need you to come in and physically record this.
1:17:52🔗
Adam
I think he was just in the neighborhood and I knew he wouldn't sing, you know what I'm saying?
1:18:03🔗
Adam
It was the Playboy Summer Games from like Daytona Beach, but the big jugs, it's awesome, still have it.
1:18:15🔗
Adam
Just prancing, oh, oh, please. Playboy didn't have sex back in the day. All Playboy would do is, you know, 15 years ago, would just rerun their stupid Playboy videos and calendar shoots and stuff like that. Playboy, the TV station was Playboy the magazine. It's just the chicks moved. Now it's all hardcore. I don't know. I'd like to harken back to more innocent time.
1:19:00🔗
Adam
You spray that on, you give stink the Axe. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Dr. Drew and I just talking about the love of TiVo over nice lukewarm urination section. Yeah, good, good wisdom.
1:19:25🔗
Drew
My favorite thing about Adam is you've ever noticed when I walk out, I take the stall in, I'm taking the train. You notice how when I walk out of the stall, you get that shiver thing.
1:19:33🔗
Adam
I get the shiver. That's because I hear footsteps. I hear it coming up behind me. I'm like a small whiteout. I'm forced to go over the middle.
1:19:44🔗
Adam
I feel that strong. I don't feel that strong safety. I get the shiver thing when I take the whiz every once in a while.
1:19:52🔗
Adam
Yeah, it's like thinking about, it's like having the hiccups and trying to think about not hiccuping and it just triggers one.
1:19:59🔗
Drew
You know what that is? That is years and years of your friends pouncing on you when you're in the middle of a whiz. You know, you're f'd up friends.
1:20:17🔗
Adam
The shudder is to shake the last couple drops out of the urethra. That's my theory. That's why God does that. It's God shaking your dingling. Eva?
1:20:38🔗
Adam
Wow. Got a strong sense of entitlement in this cat. Gonna eat my employees and I want anal.
1:20:45🔗
Drew
How dare he? The temerity of this man. He is Jajune. Do you think that he can get away with that sort of nonsense?
1:21:22🔗
Caller
Well, we work in the same place, so now there's no conflict. I mean, I'm not a client, neither is he.
1:21:32🔗
Drew
Right, and just because you're attorneys, you're bigger than the law? That doesn't apply to you guys? That's an issue.
1:21:46🔗
Drew
We have never talked to a woman with dating a married guy where the guy, in spite of him talking how miserable he is, how horrible his wife is, where the guy ever leaves his wife.
1:21:59🔗
Adam
And by the way, look, if your wife lets you hit 26-year-old workmates in the keister or doesn't know about it, you don't have to go anywhere. I mean, Drew, think about it. You'd never have to leave your wife if, you know.
1:22:18🔗
Adam
Well, forget about being on board. I shouldn't even said that. Just doesn't know. I mean, you're saying you're married, you have a house. Look, let's face it, a lot of guys don't want to get divorced just for the money. Yeah, financially, they don't want to, they love their kids. They love their wife, maybe, whatever. The wife's a little long in the tooth. The romance is gone. You know, the kids are hassling everybody. Yeah, and I don't want to get in that story again. But the point is, is I think they do have this worked out in certain parts of Europe, which is, you get a little something on the side and you get a mistress and you get to stay a little bit, and you go home and you're happy.
1:23:45🔗
Adam
Well, I think just by virtue of being an attorney, you enjoy screwing people in the ass. I mean, I think that comes with the territory. Drew, seriously, I'm not kidding. There's a lot of reaming going on with this guy.
1:24:04🔗
Adam
And this feels, we don't trust this guy. I don't like him. He's cheating on his wife. He's an attorney.
1:24:18🔗
Adam
And as an attorney, by the way, should know better than anybody what the liabilities of the consequences could possibly be.
1:24:28🔗
Adam
I mean, you could probably, you know, bring some sort of sexual harassment lawsuit against him.
1:24:42🔗
Drew
When there's an authority imbalance like that, the consensuality doesn't matter so much, does it?
1:24:48🔗
Adam
I would imagine it's not a strong case, but there's still a case. And by the way, win, lose, or draw, it could be very ugly for him.
1:25:16🔗
Caller
I never thought I was ever gonna have an affair with a married man. I'm not very experienced. I've only dated one guy in my whole life.
1:25:45🔗
Caller
Well, it's just something that it's not, something that we really discussed and I don't expect him to and he loves his wife dearly.
1:26:07🔗
Adam
A rare high five from Dr. Drew. Second high five. Well, as Eva, I know it sort of feels good in the attention and it's hard when you're working with someone and you're infatuated and attracted and so on and so forth.
1:26:20🔗
Adam
Yeah, this is going nowhere. And this is gonna be a sort of a slow death. And this is a limb that needs to be amputated and you can't stay, your thing is like, how am I gonna get by without my leg? And it's like, you're gonna get gangrene and you're gonna die.
1:26:37🔗
Drew
You may want to get out of that work environment. I would suggest, if you possibly can.
1:26:41🔗
Adam
You're smart. You can tell him this has to end. I have, sure I have feelings for you. And if you change your mind.
1:26:51🔗
Adam
And that's what I'm talking about. Then we can wait a few months and give me a call. But you and your wife, I gotta move on. It's best for you, Eva, you're smart.
1:27:01🔗
Drew
I would say it's best for everybody. Although God knows this guy will do this to somebody else.
1:27:07🔗
Adam
You guys are a way bus and no anal naturally. Let me tell you, guys got attorneys, got male attorneys, any attorneys, huge way bus. Screwing around with my wife, banging an underling over at work, like some anal.
1:27:32🔗
Adam
Yeah, well, that's what ends up happening with their profession, which is it's not really about right or wrong or guilty or innocent. It's just we'll just collect this evidence and we'll see if we can get people off on a technicality.
1:27:46🔗
Adam
Or it doesn't really matter if silicone breast implants don't actually damage anybody. There's money to be made. And I hear people argue that all the time and it drives me nuts. It's sort of like, well, look, we all know the guy did X, Y or Z, but they didn't prove beyond a reasonable doubt that, OK, but if we all know the guy's guilty and then ultimately not enough, you know, we really need and we need in this country, Drew. We have to start focusing on the spirit of the law. Oh, my. Not the letter of the law. Oh, my. And it's not only the attorney's fault, although I'd like to blame it on them. It's everyone's fault. And when I say everyone, I mean, everyone but me and Drew, possibly engineer Chris.
1:28:34🔗
Adam
Well, here's what we do. What we do is we, you know, there's the four way stop sign in the middle of the desert and you roll through it and you get the ticket because technically you didn't come to a stop. But of course, the spirit of the law is trying for you not to t bone another car. And the reality is there was zero safety was a zero factor and therefore you shouldn't get the ticket. But then it's like, oh, no, no, no, no, you didn't come to a complete stop or you rolled through this at four in the morning or you turn left and there was no traffic coming. All this nonsense. And then that just bleeds into the courts. The cops get it started with the technical BS chicken ass ticket that had everything to do with the letter of the law and nothing to do with the spirit of the law. I mean, you make these rules so X, Y and Z doesn't happen and then we all just start spinning out. It's like I took that that flight that time and then the stupid hatch was open on the overhead luggage thing and we couldn't take the plane off. Oh, I was at my best.
1:29:39🔗
Adam
Oh, it was uncomfortable. They took it. I had a couple of bloody marriage. I was sitting in first class and running late, handsome picking me up from the airport. Why aren't we going? Well, because the latch is screwed up on the overhead compartment in the door, which has a sort of pneumatic spring loaded opener is now going open. We shut it and then it starts slowly opening again. Well, what's wrong? Why aren't we leaving? Well, FAA regulations say you can't take the plane off unless the thing is securely shut. Well, well, let's empty it out. Oh, no, there's nothing in it. Well, then let's take off. Oh, no, you can't do it. If it's open. Yes, a junk doesn't fall on people's head, sir, please sit down, sit. It's only the reason it can't be open is so my camera case does not conk old old old Betty on the head over there and cause some hematoma. I think I said hematoma. It's all good. It's all good.
1:30:42🔗
Adam
I got I got hematoma and manitoba. Okay. The point is, is this is this is lawyers. This is letter of the law. Yeah. The spirit of the laws. Look, we got to make sure these are close and no one gets hit on the head with the falling object.
1:30:56🔗
Drew
One of the purposes of laws to make us do the right thing to do the good. But the good guys just work around the good guys have become the bad guys.
1:31:05🔗
Drew
And now it's all about making the bad making the good guys bad. That's what the laws for.
1:31:09🔗
Adam
Let me let me tell you. I sat there and so I said, OK, so we got to get it shut and shut. Go get some duct tape and put a piece of duct tape on if it needs to be shut. Sir, please sit down. And I said, Look, let's just go. What are we doing here? I mean, come on. That's not going to do anything. It's empty.
1:31:29🔗
Adam
What? Is there some air stuck in there that's going to land on someone's head? Let's go. Let's get it going. And that's by the way, that's what we need in this life. This is why I turn left at every one of those chicken ass red arrows when the when the signal is green. I see the earth curving in the distance. I'm not buying into it. I'm turning. I'm taking the plane off. We need people that we need a groundswell of this. And this is what we need. And we need people. We need to take our country back. You're right. And I said, put some duct tape on it and let's go. And she was like, I was like, I was a federal marshals. And by the way, this is pre-9-11. If it was post-9-11, I would have been dragged off the plane as a maniac. Of course, everyone else is just sitting there with their thumbs up their ass because they're too chicken ass to say anything. Okay, it may have been the booze talking. But I said, let's go. Let's do it. Let's go. What are we doing here? This is costing money. Let's go. I got someone meeting me at the airport. Let's go, sir. So maintenance guy comes in, makes three or four trips, takes a few passes with the screwdriver, goes back and forth. Of course, yeah, but an hour and 40 minutes later, pulls out the duct tape. Oh, that was great. But then, of course, I had my, you know, then I had my day in the sun with the stewardess, but then it was it was payback time from Chicago. I've been ignored or abused for the rest of that flight because I brought the duct tape on and I've been burned. Yeah. And she was she was like a wounded, wounded the entire flight. All I'm saying is, is let's focus on a spirit, spirit of the law, and let's move forward with our lives and let's let's all decide, let's all decide when it's OK to turn left. I think we can decide. We decided at the last signal that didn't have the goddamn arrow. Can we decide this? We decide to take the airplane off. We can do all this.
1:33:37🔗
Adam
Oh, I know. And I can't believe that people aren't just finishing off their Heineken's and throwing them into an open crowd. No, we have to cover everything with padding. Adults have to drink everything out of plastic cups. Every lighter has to have a childproof thing on it. And that goddamn childproof thing. I mean, it's like I find myself fits. Drew, try to light a lighter, by the way. You just sit in there and you're like holding and some. First off, if we're going to childproof something, can't we just do it one way? Do we have to have as many different devices for lighters as there are lighters? It's like there's nothing worse. Someone gives you their lighter and it's like up, up. And then the guy's going, no, no, you got to pull out the choke on this one and then twist it half a click to the left. And then you had to put a set of chopsticks up your ass. And that's the one this one likes. Oh, yeah, because mine, I just got the one with the big band on it that doesn't really let you turn the flint at all.
1:34:38🔗
Adam
You got to reset it. You got to reset after after each try. You're just sitting there wearing the skin off of my thumb like a retard going, what are we doing? Arguing with every bottle. And really, it's it because a handful of idiots every year burn their trailer down because a handful of kids that aren't watching something about this.
1:34:58🔗
Drew
So the medication Vioxx was just taken off the market. So great medication, great medication. Ten cases out of 10,000 may be associated with heart. Maybe, maybe, maybe.
1:35:08🔗
Drew
The thousands of people are helped by it. We got to take it off the market. We got to relabel it.
1:35:12🔗
Adam
Here's the next time you're just sitting in your house and you're hearing that me, me, me, me. Because a garbage truck has put it in reverse and I want to run over the kids and you're struggling with your lighter and you're trying to get your aspirin open. Drew, how much money do guys spend trying to get chicks? Um, uh, into the billions? Cars, everything.
1:35:46🔗
Adam
Hair plugs? All they need is a max deodorant body spray. Hey everybody, Love Line. Drew's song, yeah?
1:36:24🔗
Drew
I remember The Cure. It sounds just like The Cure, though. Yeah, The Cure was in here a few times back in the day.
1:36:45🔗
Adam
Oh, really? Wow. And you've had like Kaja, Goo Goo, and all sorts of crazy. I mean, those.
1:37:42🔗
Adam
Two or three times a week. I guess you can do that if you guys. Where do you cheat? I'm beside doing the ass.
1:37:49🔗
Caller
I just meet people. I just see people like a coffee shop or just like at a club or something.
1:38:07🔗
Adam
All right, you know where to hang out. You know, in a way, I guess if you're gay, you kind of become like drug addicts where you just you got to go to the places where the stuff is. Sure. Yeah, I know that sounds horrible, but what I mean is is look, you want to get some sex and you can't be wasting your time in some Starbucks where there's no no gays. I mean, you got to go to where the action is. Yeah, right.
1:39:18🔗
Drew
It's hard to get sexual addiction without first either being addicted to something else or having sexual abuse. So which is it?
1:39:35🔗
Adam
Adam Lassanus Syndrome. Drew, let me say this. Hold on, Ray. I'm going to defend you. As a guy, you have an appetite.
1:39:43🔗
Adam
I would argue that gays may even have a more prodigious appetite. So, you're gay, you're 20, and you want to get it on three times a week.
1:40:11🔗
Drew
Well, then go to SA. Because then you're an addict in general. You've been addicted to something else first and or you've been sexually abused or both. And this has to be dealt with. And if you don't remember it, you don't can't, you know, can't put it all together. Fine. But you've got to process this material because it's having a consequence, having an effect on your life.
1:40:28🔗
Adam
Tyler. He and girlfriend are both virgins. She won't have sex. Dating for a year. She religious? Sort of.
1:40:47🔗
Caller
You know, she says that, but to a point when we talk about it, it seems more like she's afraid of getting pregnant.
1:41:07🔗
Adam
Oh, really? In her 30s? Well, then maybe mom was just all over her. Nailed that at home. All right. Look, Tyler, you cannot put the screws to her. Pardon the pun. You'll freak her out. She'll recoil. Just play casual.
1:41:23🔗
Drew
We've got to be more honest about what her goals are. We should declare her major here.
1:41:28🔗
Adam
Because you can use birth control if that's a cause. But on the other hand, don't come at her with your junk swing and wind. Pretend like you don't want it either for about 10 seconds and then jump on her. We'll be back.
1:42:11🔗
Adam
Bonnie Somerville in here tomorrow night, the new hottie lead from NYPD Blue, and then Puddle of Mud in here on Wednesday the 6th, and we're gonna get some calls from Iraq, and they were just there doing a little USO action, so we'll talk to them all about that. I will be interested in Iraq and finding out how that went. So.
1:42:36🔗
Adam
That's right, a little late late show action. So, until next time, this is Adam Carolla for Dr. Drew, saying, mahalo.
1:42:49🔗
Caller
The opinions expressed in this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or the station. The producer for Loveline is Aningold. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.