Wednesday, September 22, 2004

1:09🔗 Voiceover Loveline may contain sexually-oriented content. Listener discretion is advised. This is Loveline. With Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew. Hey, everybody, it's Loveline.

1:29🔗 Adam I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. Dr. Drew, Board Certified Physician, Addiction Medicine Specialist. What is that horrible, generic, crappy music that they put on this SE opening? Who did the new opening for this show? What year are we in? What decade are we in is a better question.

1:50🔗 Drew Honey, you're in such a mood tonight. Are you on your period? What's the problem? They bad you to work today.

1:58🔗 Adam I'm in a bad mood. Hey, Anderson, you're a radio guy and I know it's tough, because on one hand, you're a radio guy, so you know how badly that opening sucks. On the other hand, you disagree with me on everything, so you must be torn. But tell me your honest feelings on that horrible opening.

2:14🔗 Drew First off, I'm not a radio guy.

2:15🔗 I just happened to do this show.

2:16🔗 Drew How dare you? How dare you?

2:17🔗 Second off, I really like the guy that made it, so I just don't really hear it.

2:20🔗 Dean Cain But yeah, I would never listen to it in my car.

2:21🔗 Drew Satisfied?

2:22🔗 Adam Yes, very satisfied. Well, that felt great.

2:25🔗 Jouche.

2:25🔗 Dean Cain Let's get Mighty Mighty Boss stones on there or something.

2:29🔗 Adam That is just it. You really like the guy that made that?

2:31🔗 Dean Cain Well, the guy that made it.

2:32🔗 Adam Oh, he didn't make the music.

2:33🔗 Dean Cain He just picked the music. Yeah, he's a great guy.

2:35🔗 Adam I should have his hands cut off that guy. It's horrible.

2:37🔗 Drew I have.

2:38🔗 Adam Oh, man. She should have her hands cut off. And that Dr. Drew and that stupid Max Headroom music gives me a headache. All right, everybody.

2:48🔗 Drew So what happened? What's the matter?

2:49🔗 Adam Nothing.

2:50🔗 Drew Oh, nothing.

2:51🔗 Adam It's just a stress. I'm just fed up.

2:53🔗 Drew Your house?

2:54🔗 Adam I'm just tired.

2:55🔗 Drew Your wife had a fight?

2:57🔗 Adam No, I just have been getting up too early in the morning. I've got too many idiots around me. Can't function anymore.

3:02🔗 Drew That's normal. I must see this every day.

3:04🔗 Adam I know, but I just, you know, going to not get my nap in.

3:08🔗 Drew Oh, OK.

3:08🔗 I got to get my nap in.

3:10🔗 Drew I mean, it's hot again. I'll translate for the audience. It means it didn't masturbate either.

3:13🔗 Adam It got hot last night again or two days ago.

3:17🔗 Drew Bad times.

3:17🔗 Adam Stupid Drew announced that the summer was over triumphantly a week ago. It's over. Kiss it goodbye. Boom. Santa Ana's come blowing in. It's all weird. I've got ants all over my bathroom sink. They're not doing anything. The good news is I get to whiz on them. Let me tell you guys some. Oh, now I'm really. Okay. Hold on. Here we go. Let me tell you this. I pee in the sink. That's fine. I make no bones about it. We're living in a drought. We're in the 50 year of a drought over here.

3:45🔗 Drew You don't want to waste water.

3:46🔗 Adam We're in a drought. What do you got in your toilet? Three something? You're involved.

3:51🔗 Drew You're involved, man.

3:53🔗 Adam And I could get chicks too that way because they're like in the PETA and they're like save the animals.

3:59🔗 Drew They're very impressed.

4:00🔗 Adam And they're saying Surf Rider Foundation and all that and like, hey, I was in the sink, ladies. It's like ringing a dinner bell. Yeah, that's a turn on. Instead of flushing three, four gallons right into the bay, it's just a couple of teaspoons of whatever he can, a couple of spritz from the sink.

4:20🔗 Drew It just goes down slow and it sits there, you know, slowly, sort of, let me tell you something.

4:25🔗 Adam There is nothing better than urinating on wildlife. And women, this is a thrill you will never know. You may live longer than us, but we get to urinate on wildlife. Taking a leak on an anthill, nothing better. Nothing better, nothing more satisfying. Nothing better than it is a roach or something. You're taking a whiz outside, it's a hot summer night, you spot, you know, street lamp or something. And oh, look at that cockroach, pow.

4:50🔗 Drew You are your own.

4:51🔗 Adam Trinket roachy.

4:52🔗 Drew Your own destroyer.

4:54🔗 Adam Pow. And the thing about urine is, it really is, it's part raid.

4:59🔗 Drew Yeah, of course.

5:00🔗 Adam I mean, it's got enough acid in it to drop an ant, yeah?

5:04🔗 Drew Yeah, I think so.

5:05🔗 Adam It'll do damage to a roach, at least humiliate him enough so he can't go home.

5:10🔗 Drew Absolutely.

5:11🔗 Adam Yeah. The point is, is I got ants around my sink, and I get them. Take a nice whiz on them. Hey, Dean Cain is here, everybody. Yeah. How are you? Great to see you, Dean. Put the cans on. Have a seat.

5:25🔗 Dean Cain Adam, I was listening to you on the way in.

5:27🔗 Adam Fantastic.

5:27🔗 Drew Did you sound like you were in a good mood?

5:28🔗 Dean Cain You sound a little angry, brother.

5:30🔗 Adam I'm angry. And now, we got the non-dairy creamer, the powder, in the coffee, and that sent me over the edge. It makes me mad that you like that stuff.

5:39🔗 Dean Cain Makes me mad, too, because that's terrible.

5:45🔗 Adam It's terrible. And you know what he does? We play good cop, bad cop, a-hole cop. I'm the bad and the a-hole cop. Drew, I'm the one who's saying, hey, can we get some decent coffee around here, and how about some milk instead of this stuff that says Whitener on it? And Drew goes, I'm fine. I'm fine with the Whitener. He said, could you shut up? I'm trying to get something. So now, I seem like a prima donna, but I'm not a prima donna. He just has a low self-esteem and no taste buds. You actually like the powdered stuff more than the milk.

6:12🔗 Drew Yeah. Not all day long. Just this time of day. Oh, this time of day.

6:16🔗 Dean Cain This hour.

6:17🔗 Drew Yeah. I just can't explain really why.

6:19🔗 Adam Dean, don't get many knowing-nots.

6:21🔗 Drew It's almost like a habit. So many years on the radio, jinking just crappy, essay coffee.

6:26🔗 Adam Keep going.

6:28🔗 Drew I wouldn't know. It's weird. I'm like, I wouldn't enjoy a nice cup of coffee. I want something that just keeps me awake because it's awful.

6:34🔗 Dean Cain A little ticked off. Awake and ticked.

6:36🔗 Drew Keep the edge on. Keeping it real.

6:38🔗 Adam Keeps his edge. Yeah. That'll be fun. He doesn't say anything for 15 straight minutes. Last time, if you recall, you see how it works.

6:46🔗 Drew I lurch forward and then stop.

6:47🔗 Adam Get off the line. Watch the show. It'll grind to a halt. It'll take a sip of coffee. See nothing?

6:54🔗 Drew There we go.

6:55🔗 Adam See, that's what happens. As soon as I stop, as soon as my mouth stops flapping, it's like an airplane.

7:00🔗 Drew Dance, dance, boy.

7:01🔗 Adam Right into the ground. Drew, you're nothing. You're barely landing gear.

7:05🔗 Dean Cain It's the play by play and the color announcer.

7:08🔗 Adam Yeah, I'm both.

7:09🔗 Dean Cain Color commentary.

7:09🔗 Adam Dean Cain here, everybody. Speaking of play by play and color announcer, Dean's got himself a new show on CBS, a baseball show which is perfect for Dean because I've seen Dean on the diamond a couple of times, once hitting a mammoth home run out in God knows where many years ago.

7:25🔗 Dean Cain Solancho Cucamonga. No softball.

7:27🔗 Adam No, that's hardball. Launched into the night.

7:30🔗 Drew Wow.

7:31🔗 Adam It was really, it was like we were launching a satellite just into the night sky. One of those things with outfielders just turned around and then no, they didn't turn around. They looked through their legs. And then that move where it's like they're going to blow themselves.

7:45🔗 Drew He hit it a long way?

7:46🔗 Adam Yes. Dean launched a ball and then I saw him later on I think two years ago at the, or a year and a half ago or whatever it was at the All-Star game softball game, Dean playing a vacuum cleaner over a short stop, a vacuum. Did you play baseball in college? Hold on a second.

8:02🔗 Dean Cain High school.

8:04🔗 Adam Not the canister kind, the upright. Sucking out again. Yeah, with the bristles. With the belt-driven bristle and the cord and the light and the light. And then the thing that you can adjust it for the shag, the low pile and onto the wood floor.

8:19🔗 Dean Cain Yeah.

8:20🔗 Adam Yeah, yeah.

8:20🔗 Drew That's the guy.

8:21🔗 Adam That's Dean. That's Dean at shortstop.

8:23🔗 Dean Cain If I recall correctly, you were carrying a big stick that day, softball day, putting it on the wall. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And playing some defense.

8:29🔗 Adam I don't like to talk about myself, Dean.

8:31🔗 Dean Cain I'll toot your horn.

8:32🔗 Drew That's not what I got on the show. We heard the story for, when was that, 18 months ago? He was robbing people of home runs. It was like it was just yesterday. If it was yesterday, he talked about it.

8:39🔗 Adam All right. Please, Drew. First off.

8:42🔗 Drew This was the diving catch where he drenched his back.

8:44🔗 Dean Cain It was awesome.

8:45🔗 Adam Hold on a second.

8:46🔗 Drew That was in Chicago.

8:47🔗 Adam You are talking about a catch I made off of Tommy Chong's kid and some other retarded, a game that was a lower echelon celebrity game where the likes of Dean Cain would not be seen there. But hold on a second, Drew. There is a certain communication that world-class athletes have when you know what it is like to be in the show. Obviously, you have not been there.

9:08🔗 Drew No.

9:09🔗 Adam Drew played in the Dodger celebrity baseball game and didn't want to play.

9:14🔗 Drew I didn't want to embarrass myself. I wanted to hit.

9:16🔗 Dean Cain Was it a baseball game or a softball game at that time?

9:19🔗 Adam Baseball.

9:19🔗 Dean Cain They changed it now.

9:20🔗 Adam They turned to a softball.

9:21🔗 Dean Cain Yeah. I didn't play this year.

9:23🔗 Drew What?

9:23🔗 Adam That's right. You're a hard baller.

9:24🔗 Dean Cain I don't want to be playing softball, but I actually wasn't.

9:26🔗 Drew Did they make a co-ed now, too?

9:28🔗 Dean Cain Probably. It was co-ed before.

9:30🔗 Drew There were two women who played baseball.

9:33🔗 Adam Yeah. Like Elaine Boozer out there.

9:36🔗 Drew No, no. Remember they had the girl from VIP, the one you like so much.

9:40🔗 Adam Yeah.

9:41🔗 Drew And then Mindy.

9:42🔗 Adam All right.

9:43🔗 Drew Barb.

9:43🔗 Adam Well, Drew, you're not going back anymore, right?

9:46🔗 Drew No.

9:46🔗 Adam And Dean's asked to go back, but he doesn't play that fairy softball. And I've been banned from that game. Oh, you got banned? Well, yes. Yes, I did get banned. You're out. It wasn't easy.

9:59🔗 Drew They told the coach to kiss his ass. Those little guys.

10:01🔗 Adam The guy was a prick. That's why. But OK, listen, we'll get into that later. Because we got to talk about Clubhouse, Tuesday nights. Oh, yes. On CBS. By the way, CBS, it's like the number one network now, right? Is it number one?

10:13🔗 Dean Cain Not like.

10:14🔗 Adam It is. It is. Nice. Now, nice to be back, right?

10:19🔗 Dean Cain You know, it's wonderful to be back, and it's wonderful to be back working for Les Moonvast, who originally cast me and Lois and Clark as Superman. Oh, he did? Yeah, he's the godfather. I kissed the ring. I'm very happy to go work.

10:30🔗 Drew You still have the Ripley Bleefer Knot out.

10:33🔗 Dean Cain It's in syndication, but we're not making any new episodes. You own that show, didn't you? Yeah, my company produced it. I owned a good portion of it.

10:42🔗 Drew That was a smart thing.

10:43🔗 Dean Cain I'm not unhappy about that.

10:45🔗 Adam Drew was telling me before you came in, Dean not only hosted that show, but he produced it. That's all over the place in syndication. It is.

10:54🔗 Dean Cain I got a nice little check today.

10:56🔗 Adam Yes.

10:57🔗 Dean Cain Let me tell you how much I love Ripley's.

10:59🔗 Adam Let me tell you, there ain't nothing like free money.

11:02🔗 Dean Cain I would drink coffee with that damn nasty ass creamer stuff in it right now.

11:07🔗 Adam Really?

11:07🔗 Dean Cain I would. That's how happy I am.

11:09🔗 Adam You got that edge.

11:09🔗 Dean Cain I'm happy.

11:10🔗 Adam Really? You just go down to the mailbox and there's the check, right?

11:14🔗 Dean Cain Actually I never even see it. It was a phone call saying, hey, you got a check today.

11:17🔗 Adam Yeah. I said, great. I don't even know when the show's syndicated anymore. The Ripley's, believe it or not.

11:24🔗 Dean Cain It's everywhere. It just shows up. Kids love it.

11:28🔗 Adam How many of those did you do?

11:29🔗 Dean Cain We did 88 one-hour episodes. We cut those into, what is it, 172 half hours?

11:35🔗 Adam 88, yeah.

11:36🔗 Drew It's been airing for four years.

11:39🔗 Dean Cain Yeah, so they're all in half hours now, and it's just all over the place. I wish we could keep making them, though. I tell you, that was a... Why can't you? Radio is a good deal. I like that, but it's not like... That was eight days a year, and...

11:52🔗 Adam You're really gonna kill Drew now. That's the one.

11:56🔗 Dean Cain That's the one you're doing.

11:57🔗 Drew May, that's your business.

11:57🔗 Adam He's half-Jew. Guess which half is going nuts right now. Yeah. All right, everybody, Clubhouse, which is six short days away from hitting the air. And I haven't seen it, obviously. Thank God it's not aired yet. There's nothing worse. Have you seen the new... The TiVo doesn't go to CBS. It's a cable TiVo. You know, it does mostly pornography and Hitler stuff. It was a choice I made when I bought it, I stick with it. So, who else is in this and what's the deal? Your player, which it's got to be... First off, baseball is great because baseball you can screw around with. Like what I mean is other sports, like if you're playing football, you kind of have to play. I mean, you could toss the football around, but I mean, baseball...

12:46🔗 Drew You're working all the time.

12:47🔗 Adam Baseball you can take some BP, you can throw some balls around.

12:51🔗 Dean Cain You're talking, rally caps.

12:53🔗 Adam You don't have to commit, especially when you're making a show about it.

12:56🔗 Drew More than anything, you're not scared all the time. Football you got a certain amount of fear. Something's going to happen to me.

13:01🔗 Adam Something's going to go wrong.

13:02🔗 Dean Cain But that's my...

13:02🔗 Drew Fancy. Football really is my fear.

13:05🔗 Dean Cain That's mine.

13:06🔗 Drew Yeah, same with us.

13:06🔗 Adam But football is a thing where, especially when you're getting a little bit older, if you're playing, you're playing. It's game on or it's not, but it's not... There's no middle speed. You can't sort of play half speed. And baseball, you can... You don't have to kill yourself.

13:22🔗 Drew My son started club baseball yesterday.

13:24🔗 Dean Cain At what age then?

13:25🔗 Drew Eleven.

13:25🔗 Dean Cain Eleven, oh wow.

13:26🔗 Adam Club? What's that mean?

13:27🔗 Drew It means he plays year round.

13:29🔗 Adam Oh really?

13:29🔗 Drew Every day.

13:31🔗 Dean Cain He's got one of those dads, you know, drives me to it.

13:33🔗 Adam Eating disorder. Gay with an eating disorder. There we go.

13:36🔗 Dean Cain But the thing that's so great about the clubhouse...

13:40🔗 Adam Yeah.

13:40🔗 Dean Cain Clubhouse is the good thing. One of the things you miss as an athlete is that camaraderie you get in the clubhouse. You know, even when we got together and played those silly celebrity games... You're having a great time with the guys you know and you're just kind of jerking around and that's a lot of what happens and a lot of what you miss when you're out of athletics, when you're out of professional sports and this is one way to get back to it. We have so much fun. I mean going to work every day. I almost feel guilty.

14:02🔗 Adam Where do you film? Where do you shoot it?

14:03🔗 Dean Cain We shoot in Van Nuys, all the...

14:06🔗 Adam Exteriors?

14:07🔗 Dean Cain Well the interiors. All the interiors of the clubhouse. We built a phenomenal clubhouse. Better than the clubhouse.

14:11🔗 Adam Oh you just built a really nice set in Van Nuys.

14:13🔗 Dean Cain Gorgeous.

14:13🔗 Adam It's got to be the nicest thing in Van Nuys.

14:15🔗 Drew Oh of course.

14:16🔗 Dean Cain Let me tell you what. Where we are, I think it's about the nicest thing.

14:18🔗 Easily the nicest thing, yeah.

14:20🔗 Dean Cain And we play baseball down in Long Beach which is kind of a big park actually. It's 348 feet down the line, Dodger Stadium is 303.

14:28🔗 Adam So you get to take like batting practice.

14:30🔗 Dean Cain Oh no, I'm facing real guys.

14:31🔗 Adam And you're facing it this way. It's looking good.

14:34🔗 Dean Cain We're playing, we got about nine major league ball players out there every day whenever we're playing and I'm seeing 85 miles an hour.

14:41🔗 Adam Oh it's awesome.

14:43🔗 Dean Cain I saw curveball the other day.

14:44🔗 Adam It's awesome.

14:44🔗 Dean Cain Hadn't seen one of those in a long time.

14:47🔗 Adam Yeah, it's like usually, and Dean, he's an athlete so it works out. There's nothing worse than, you know what they do, I'm watching the commercials for Mr. 3000, Bernie Mac's up there, takes a swing that looks like he probably fouled it off into his groin if he made contact at all. Then the next scene is the outfielder climbing the wall, it's just cut to that tight shot of the guy jumping up. First off, they only do that about one every 35 home runs. They don't climb the wall every single time ball goes out of the park. They're not even back there half time. They're half, it clears it by 30 feet. Let me tell you, when Dean Cain hit that dinger, when Rancho Cucamonga, between his legs, between his legs. I look, I was playing outfield, I looked between my legs and I saw a ball, but it was not Cain's.

15:30🔗 Drew He was going to say you put your mid up and the ball went through the hole. The screaming line guy.

15:37🔗 Adam The ball was screaming. All right. Oh, that's got to be great. That's got to be great. Just playing ball. And it's got to be realistic, so you got to play hard. But you know, you get as many pitches as you need to get to crack one. You got a good-looking swing. Oh, that's...

15:53🔗 Dean Cain It's a very, very good job. I enjoy the hell out of it.

15:55🔗 Adam Good. You're blessed.

15:57🔗 Dean Cain Yes, sir.

15:58🔗 Adam I like when people yell at you, you're blessed, you know. You're blessed. You know you're blessed, right? Yeah, yes, I do. You are. Yes, I'm blessed. Yes, you're blessed.

16:08🔗 Drew Oh, for Christ's sake.

16:09🔗 Dean Cain I'm really angry.

16:11🔗 Adam You know you're blessed? You know you're blessed. I swear you're blessed.

16:14🔗 Dean Cain Yes, sir. I swear. I know I'm blessed. And then I went to school out here in Malibu. I went to Santa Monica High School. And then I went to college back east. To Princeton, right?

16:23🔗 Adam Sammo. Oh, wow. Local boy. Blessed.

16:26🔗 Dean Cain Blessed.

16:27🔗 Adam Does he know he's blessed? Do you think he knows he's blessed?

16:31🔗 Drew Yes, by God.

16:31🔗 Adam Get him to admit he's blessed. Dean, you're blessed, right?

16:35🔗 Dean Cain I know. God bless it. God bless me.

16:37🔗 Adam Knock on, knock on something. You're blessed. You're blessed.

16:39🔗 Dean Cain Whatever this is.

16:40🔗 Adam You're blessed. He knows he's blessed. He should be blessed. Savannah?

16:45🔗 Yes.

16:46🔗 Adam You're 23?

16:46🔗 Caller Yes, I am.

16:47🔗 Adam What's up?

16:48🔗 Caller I first want to say that I'm sure you get it all the time, but Dr. Drew, I loved your book, Cracked.

16:52🔗 Drew Oh, thanks, Savannah. I appreciate it. I don't get that all the time because Adam won't let anybody give me compliments. I appreciate it.

16:59🔗 Adam They want to do it.

17:01🔗 Caller No, it was really good. I just wanted to tell you.

17:03🔗 Drew Well, I appreciate that.

17:04🔗 Caller Well, thank you very much.

17:05🔗 Adam Hey, Savannah.

17:06🔗 Caller Yes.

17:07🔗 Adam Do you know that Dean Cain is blessed? Bless grew up in Malibu and Superman.

17:12🔗 Drew Princeton.

17:12🔗 Adam Probably had sex with Terry Hatcher. Now he's doing a bassist. He's doing a TV show where he gets to play to play baseball. I don't even know if he knows he's doing a show.

17:20🔗 Drew Wild Checks comes from his mailbox from another show six years ago.

17:23🔗 Adam Oh, toughest thing he has to do is that schlep from the Malibu mailbox back to the estate with the big fat novelty check. It gets paid in the big styrofoam ones. The cardboard styrofoam ones. Styrofoam backs ones. Huge big Ed McMahon's name on there. Baby's head. Savannah?

17:43🔗 Caller Yes.

17:44🔗 Adam So what's up?

17:45🔗 Caller I recently received as sort of a gag gift a vibrator for my birthday. And I tried it out with my boyfriend.

17:53🔗 Adam Tried it with your boyfriend?

17:55🔗 Caller Yeah. I've never used it before. And now he's really freaked out when I use it by myself.

18:03🔗 Adam Oh, really?

18:03🔗 Drew He's intimidated.

18:04🔗 Dean Cain He's competition.

18:05🔗 Drew He's competition. This man cannot compete with technology.

18:07🔗 Dean Cain How can you? Can you vibrate that fast?

18:10🔗 Adam No. Maybe if I have a seizure.

18:12🔗 Drew If I'd been blessed, maybe.

18:13🔗 Dean Cain When I had special effects and all that stuff, I vibrated that fast.

18:15🔗 Adam Oh, yeah. You got to go through the earth. You got to vibrate, really.

18:20🔗 Dean Cain I actually vibrated so fast that I released my molecular structure, but I don't want to get into that.

18:25🔗 Adam Oh, that's right. That's right. He released it.

18:27🔗 Drew That was a bad time, though.

18:30🔗 Adam Savannah. Your boyfriend's how old?

18:34🔗 Caller He's 22.

18:35🔗 Drew Are you guys still okay? You have a decent relationship? You're physically okay together?

18:38🔗 Caller Well, everything's fine. It's just kind of annoying that he...

18:41🔗 Drew He's just intimidated.

18:42🔗 Caller Yeah. Well, I don't know. I just think it's kind of silly to be intimidated.

18:46🔗 Drew Guess what? It is.

18:48🔗 Adam It is. Completely silly. But a 22-year-old guy sort of looked for reasons to have energy with women.

18:54🔗 Drew Yes.

18:55🔗 Adam You know what I'm saying?

18:55🔗 Drew They're intimidated by anything.

18:57🔗 Dean Cain Well, here's a question, though. Before she had that little toy of hers, would he be upset or jealous when she was pregnant?

19:04🔗 Caller Good question. No, I will. I never used a vibrator up until that point.

19:08🔗 Drew I have another question. Did you have orgasms with him before?

19:11🔗 Caller No, I did not.

19:13🔗 Drew So now you only have them with the vibrator.

19:14🔗 Caller Well, I use it sort of as an assist as opposed to...

19:18🔗 Drew With him. So it's broad, which is the smart thing to do.

19:21🔗 Adam Yeah.

19:21🔗 Drew But he still feels inadequate because he can't give you...

19:24🔗 Adam But it's really like putting training wheels on your dork, though. It's a little humiliating to a guy.

19:28🔗 Drew Well, no, it's like bringing in a stunt dork, really.

19:31🔗 Adam You're going to the bullpen.

19:32🔗 Caller Yeah. I tried to do that. I tried to have him use it on me so he is doing it as opposed to me doing it, but I think maybe he feels weird about it.

19:41🔗 Drew Yes, he's unenlightened.

19:42🔗 Adam No, no. Here's the thing.

19:43🔗 Drew He needs his expectations to just make her orgasm.

19:46🔗 Adam I know, but at 22, think about where your head was at at 22. Oh, please. Think about all of the energy you had. Now you're just sitting around hoping to die, right?

19:54🔗 Drew Yeah.

19:54🔗 Adam Before, it was like you get hold of a yearbook. Think of the energy you have. What's this? Who's this dude? Who's this? He's your prom date? What'd you do with him? You know, crazy energy just going through scrapbooks, looking through stuff. Always remember, remember, just the chick would leave. He'd go start looking around. You know, what's this? What's got to be something for me to get P.O.ed about?

20:12🔗 Drew And you have that sinking ugly feeling every time you came up to something, right?

20:16🔗 Adam I don't think, see, I don't think the strategy is to try to talk guys out of that testosterone that they're chocked full of at 22 years of age. I think the idea is to lie to them. I really do. You have to treat them like pets or mental patients or something. Like when the guy says, like, how many guys you slept with before me? It's like, you know, tell them one guy. Yeah, my boyfriend of 10 years and he died in a train wreck, you know? That's it. Don't, yeah. He drove a train and a suicide train run into Fallujah. You didn't hear? No, they couldn't put it on the news.

20:50🔗 They weren't allowed to talk about it.

20:51🔗 Adam Special Ops. Special Ops. The point is I really shouldn't be talking about it. That's how he died. That's he died and he's gone now. But the thing is, you can't get into all that stuff. Oh, this is the guy who went to the proms. You get it all with him. We just shook hands and I slapped him in the arm like Peppermint Patty does to Charlie Brown. We went our separate ways and they got in the train and died in Fallujah. You keep moving. Don't go, no, you're mature. You should understand. Guys are weird. So here's the thing. You got the vibrator. You want to use the vibrator. Use it.

21:21🔗 Drew Yeah, it's ridiculous.

21:22🔗 Adam Then do that thing where you slide it under your armpit like I do after I stab a man with a shiv. And then put it in the drawer and tell him you didn't use it.

21:32🔗 Drew He can do that.

21:33🔗 Adam They can use it together. But she's using it alone and it's freaking him out.

21:37🔗 Drew No, he's freaking out when she uses it with him.

21:39🔗 Adam I think she's freaking out when she's using it alone too.

21:42🔗 Dean Cain He's freaking out anytime. He shows a tuckly head.

21:45🔗 Drew Here we go. Keep moving.

21:46🔗 Adam Alright, let's go. Let's break it down.

21:49🔗 Dean Cain Let me tell you this.

21:56🔗 Caller Grab a knee. Break it down.

21:58🔗 Adam It's not a chair. Yeah. Dean Cain, the only one, the only guest who ever got a laugh out of it. The helmet is not a chair.

22:05🔗 Drew With the high school football references.

22:07🔗 Dean Cain Hey, there it is. I know it well.

22:09🔗 Adam Jessica?

22:11🔗 Caller Yeah.

22:11🔗 Adam Jessica, 19?

22:12🔗 Caller That is me. Yep.

22:13🔗 Adam What's up?

22:15🔗 Nothing much.

22:15🔗 Hanging out.

22:16🔗 Adam Alright. What's your question?

22:19🔗 Caller My boyfriend and I have been together for three years.

22:22🔗 Started having sex about a year ago.

22:24🔗 First it was fine.

22:25🔗 Adam No big problem.

22:25🔗 Caller Whatever.

22:26🔗 But the problem that he does have now, I guess, is that when he puts a condom on, he goes limp.

22:32🔗 Drew That's actually kind of a common problem.

22:34🔗 Caller Yeah.

22:35🔗 And we thought at first like they were too small until we got magnums and they're still, it's the same thing.

22:40🔗 Drew You know, first of all, magnums are actually not bigger. They're the same around the base. You've got to use the Magnum XLs. Believe it or not. The magnums kind of taper out. They're more at the tip, but they're the same at the base.

22:51🔗 Adam Oh, really? True enough.

22:54🔗 Drew Trojan man.

22:55🔗 Adam So, you've got to go with the XL.

22:56🔗 Drew Magnum XLs, yeah. So, that is an excellent move on your part.

23:00🔗 Adam It is.

23:01🔗 Drew Yeah. Because sometimes the restriction, sometimes it can be restrictive and be uncomfortable.

23:04🔗 Adam Oh, really? I'm the opposite. If I get too much room, I get lazy. You know what I mean?

23:09🔗 Drew You just snooze. You just lay back. Yeah.

23:12🔗 Adam I like to keep my edge by feeling like I'm in a phone booth, penis in a phone booth. Yeah. Jessica. Also, guys, it's the stopping, you know, you get in a zone. You get that eye of the tiger thing going, and then all of a sudden, you're up in your head. Like, you stop. You turn the light on. You're futzing around. You think about contraception. You think about responsibility. The groove is gone. It's really the equivalent to, you know, dragging the needle along the record, and it's hard to get started again.

23:42🔗 Drew So we, as a result, well, there will be a condom loader invented someday.

23:46🔗 Adam How we do? Yeah. Here's what I really, I tell guys to do this. I think it makes sense. Practice. Go to the local gay bar. They got the big fishbowl full of condoms out there.

23:56🔗 Dean Cain If you say so. Am I asking? I mean, I. I'm just saying.

24:02🔗 Adam This is my town. I get around. No shame. Just bless this kid, right? He's never been in a gay bar. He's got to go get that check.

24:11🔗 Dean Cain I mean, I'd go in.

24:12🔗 Adam Yeah, go in.

24:13🔗 Dean Cain I mean, if you would have come with me.

24:14🔗 Adam Smart cocktail. In and out in three hours. Watch your little Australian rules football. I don't wear sleeves in that sport. All right, so. All right. Here's the point. You go in there, you grab a handful of the condoms, right? Or go to a Planned Parenthood. Get a handful of these things. All right. Then go buy them. Then go home and get yourself going alone. And then while you're going, stop midstream, put one on. See how fast you are. You got to drill. You're like a volunteer fireman. You know what I mean? Then when the bell rings, you're ready. You slide down that pole. You drop it into the boots.

24:46🔗 Drew Don't even think of it.

24:47🔗 Dean Cain Can I write this down real quick? Go ahead. Am I taking notes, guys? I want to make sure.

24:52🔗 Adam Because if you think about it, the only time you put the condom on is the, you know, once every other four months when you're having that weird half drunken encounter and you're screwed up. You don't know what you're doing. You're futzing with the thing, you know. Get used to it. Work it out. Dean Cain, break it down, everyone.

25:09🔗 Hey, get a hand in.

25:10🔗 Adam Get a hand in. Get a hand in, gentlemen. And I use that term loosely. Helmet's not a chair, not a chair. Mr. Cain, not a chair. Not a chair.

25:21🔗 Dean Cain Not a chair.

25:21🔗 Adam They're on some bag labs. All right. Dean Cain in here, Clubhouse on CBS. It is premiering Wednesday.

25:30🔗 Dean Cain No, it's premiering Sunday. Sunday.

25:32🔗 Adam Wait, wait, wait a minute. There's a sneak thing on Sunday.

25:34🔗 Dean Cain Yes. And then premiering Tuesday.

25:36🔗 Adam And then premiere on Tuesday. Sorry. Today's Wednesday. I couldn't have been.

25:40🔗 Dean Cain Wednesday is, you know.

25:42🔗 Adam What is there, like 700 days in a week? I couldn't have been that far off. Which Tuesday? Now, let me get this straight. I want to give it a good plug. It premieres on Tuesday, September 28th, 9 p.m. on CBS. And there is a sneak preview on Sunday.

25:57🔗 Dean Cain Yes, Sunday at 9 o'clock.

25:59🔗 Adam Watch them football games. And then, well, that's what it says, Sunday night. We'll take a quick break.

26:04🔗 We'll be right back after this.

26:06🔗 Caller Hello, this is your radio.

26:48🔗 Adam That's Dr. Drew. Phone number, 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1, Dr. Drew, Board Certified Physician, Dixon Medicine Specialist. Dean Cain in tonight.

26:59🔗 Dean Cain Blessed.

27:00🔗 Adam Blessed. Dean, do you know you're blessed?

27:02🔗 Dean Cain Yes, sir.

27:03🔗 Adam You're blessed.

27:03🔗 Dean Cain Blessed.

27:04🔗 Adam You do know that, don't you?

27:05🔗 Dean Cain I do know that.

27:06🔗 Adam You understand that you're blessed?

27:07🔗 Dean Cain Yes, sir.

27:07🔗 Adam So you'll admit you're blessed?

27:08🔗 Dean Cain Yes, sir, I'll admit it openly.

27:10🔗 Adam You'll confide in me that you're blessed.

27:11🔗 Drew Yes.

27:12🔗 Adam It reminds me of when, I don't know why that is. That's a 50-something-year-old chick realtor move. You're blessed, sweetie.

27:20🔗 Drew Uh-huh.

27:21🔗 Adam Yes, you are.

27:23🔗 Drew Let's take your commission.

27:26🔗 Adam Drew, one time, his kids came over to my house, one of my homes. I'm blessed too. Literally a millionaire. They came over and I had to build them a little soap, not the soap box derby, but the little pine derby racer thing. The Cub Scouts, little wheels on it. They put the weight on it, it goes down the track and I busted out the bandsaw or something and cut it out. Did a little work for him and handed it back to him. Drew said, tell him thanks. And they're like, he said thanks. Tell him thanks. I tell him, he just said, you dank Mr. Corolla. I don't want you to. Thank him. And I was like, hey Drew, you yelling at, it takes just a little off it when you start hitting your kid and screaming thank him and then he turns around and thanks me. It's not not as sincere. It's not the same. We lose the moment just a little bit. If you're beating him with a loafer and screaming thank him. So who's it for? It's not for me anymore. It's for the kids, right? You're training the kids. You're using me as like a milk bone to train the kids.

28:28🔗 Drew Of course, of course.

28:29🔗 Dean Cain Always.

28:29🔗 Adam That's how it works.

28:31🔗 Drew And by the way, you wouldn't piss too bad at me if they hadn't said thanks.

28:35🔗 Dean Cain By the way, they didn't thank me for that.

28:38🔗 Adam Busted the bandsaw out, Drew. That's all I'm saying.

28:40🔗 Drew It's a kid thing. I watched a Dr. Phil special tonight.

28:43🔗 Uh-uh, Drew angry.

28:44🔗 Drew My wife was full hell all the way.

28:46🔗 Drew hates Dr. Phil.

28:48🔗 Dean Cain I can't argue with him. I can't see that.

28:51🔗 Drew He had a thing tonight with a kid that was so profoundly disturbed.

28:55🔗 Adam He had that big special where they had a kid and they did this thing where it's like 14 points to see if your kid's gonna be a serial killer.

29:04🔗 Dean Cain He has nine of them.

29:05🔗 Drew This was like as sick as a child can get.

29:07🔗 Adam I know it's like Jeffrey Dahmer had seven.

29:11🔗 Drew Well this kid was smearing feces.

29:13🔗 Adam By the way, who was conducting the interview with Dahmer? Why didn't they step in? Number one, number two. And I think it was a post whatever checklist. But yeah, you can't do it after the fact.

29:22🔗 Drew Masturbating in front of his sister.

29:23🔗 Adam Hitler was minus three.

29:24🔗 Drew Smearing feces on the wall, banging his head, punching the walls, tearing the limbs off animals.

29:29🔗 Adam Perfectly normal, perfectly healthy.

29:31🔗 Drew I mean really profoundly.

29:33🔗 Adam How about urinating in the sink?

29:35🔗 Drew Phil's answer is this kid is just expressing what's going on in your family. I mean you two gotta work on your relationship. You need to spend more time. I'm thinking oh my God, this kid.

29:42🔗 Adam Well what would you do with him, Drew?

29:44🔗 Drew First of all I would.

29:45🔗 Adam I was about to say Dr. Drew, but I realized yeah it is Dr. Drew. I was like first am I gonna choke on Dr. Phil? But yeah I guess he's a doctor.

29:52🔗 Drew I would bring consultants in for, you know you'd bring people in. This kid probably is on chronic institutionalization.

29:56🔗 Adam At what point do you just put the kid down?

29:58🔗 Drew Here's the other reason the family's falling apart is they're dealing with this kid. You know they can't, the stress of it is unbelievable.

30:03🔗 Adam No, I mean he can't, listen I'm no doctor, but I do subscribe to the demon seed theory, which is one out of every, people are, okay, here's, okay, let me explain what it's like.

30:14🔗 Drew Some are blessed.

30:15🔗 Adam Dean blessed.

30:16🔗 Drew Some are blessed.

30:16🔗 Adam Dean, you're blessed, you know you're blessed.

30:18🔗 Drew And some are cursed.

30:18🔗 Adam Admit it, admit it.

30:19🔗 Drew Some are cursed.

30:20🔗 Adam Well, for every blessed guy, Dean taking up a parking space in the blessed lot, there's no room for this guy, he's gotta go park in the cursed alley. Yeah, and the thing is is every once in a while there's a lemon, but there's emotionally and physically, there's people born with abnormalities, there's cars that roll off the assembly line that are screwed up.

30:41🔗 Drew We know the orbital frontal system doesn't operate, they can't empathize, they can't contain feelings.

30:45🔗 Adam Yes, that kid was a mess.

30:46🔗 Drew Yeah, I mean, really it's a neurobiological thing that is profound. I mean, it's really sick and dangerous.

30:51🔗 Adam And here's what I'm thinking, and tell me if I'm a bad guy, but just based on the commercial, by the way, I'm looking at this kid and I'm thinking to myself, all right, he is screwed up in a way that I couldn't fix, and all the cuddling and timeouts and tough love and whatever is not gonna do anything.

31:06🔗 Drew So what fills it with us is quit your job and spend more time. And the thing I'm like, now they're gonna lose their insurance resources that they need to manage this kid the rest of their lives.

31:12🔗 Adam The kid needed to go somewhere for his safety and the safety of those in the neighborhood.

31:15🔗 Drew And their two little daughters were going, when he gets bigger than me, he's gonna do something to me. They were terribly beautiful girls. They were completely gathered. And there were other families he talked to who were so disturbed for the similar kinds of reasons of what he was suggesting this family was having. Didn't bring it up with them.

31:31🔗 Adam Well, Drew, what would your diagnosis be then?

31:33🔗 Drew What would you say? I'm thinking autistic spectrum disorder or plus some real serious abuse.

31:39🔗 Dean Cain Is that for the kid or for Dr. Phil?

31:41🔗 Drew Well, I'm thinking maybe, you know.

31:42🔗 Dean Cain I was just checking.

31:42🔗 Adam He has baldy blowhard disorder. Very rare. Although it does strike one. And there were one in five guys over 50 who drive nice cars.

31:52🔗 Drew It just happened, I was watching his e-trial highway story today and they had him saying, I practiced psychology for six months. These people wanted to come in and talk to me. They wanted to talk about their problems. I told them what to do in an hour. They just want a friend to complain to. I'm thinking, so feelings have no meaning. You're trained in mental health and they have no meaning to you. That is profound narcissism. Profound.

32:12🔗 Adam Yeah, but you know the check that the Dean picked up from the...

32:16🔗 Drew Nothing compared to Phil.

32:17🔗 Adam Phil, he needs a back loader to get that thing just up the driveway. There's a thing going, he drags it along the driveway. Yeah. I'll tell you what, you got Drew, you got peace of mind. Mm-hmm.

32:30🔗 Drew Yes.

32:31🔗 Caller He's a good looking guy, too.

32:32🔗 Drew You drive on him.

32:33🔗 Adam It's easy on the eyes.

32:33🔗 Dean Cain Yeah, it's easy on the eyes.

32:34🔗 Adam Very easy. Very easy.

32:36🔗 Drew You guys are both scaring me.

32:37🔗 Dean Cain Not that I've ever been to a gay bar.

32:38🔗 Adam No.

32:38🔗 Drew A lot of bulls of conics.

32:40🔗 Adam We're gonna watch Australian rules football there. And I'm gonna show Dean something they don't... A little clubhouse move I know that's not probably gonna be depicted on CBS. Involves a glorial.

32:56🔗 Drew I thought it was a cue.

32:57🔗 Adam Let's keep moving. Lola?

33:00🔗 Yeah?

33:00🔗 Adam What's happening?

33:01🔗 Hey, first I wanted to say that I've been listening to you guys for like six, seven years. And Adam, you're a comedic genius and Dr. Drew, you are a physician of great passion. So I really appreciate listening to you guys. I think you guys are wonderful.

33:19🔗 Adam Thanks.

33:20🔗 Drew We're getting set up for something here.

33:22🔗 Adam Here we go.

33:22🔗 But, no, my question is that for the last like five years, I really wanted to get into the adult film industry, like directing.

33:33🔗 Drew You see this show has had a tremendous impact on you.

33:35🔗 Adam Yes.

33:37🔗 Directing, producing and possibly acting in it. And I'm wondering how safe it is to get in it and to stay in it, just if it's tough to get in it, stuff like that.

33:49🔗 Adam Well, I don't think you get to just, as a 20-year-old female, I don't think you get to just put on the beret and the headphones and slide behind the cameras or directing movies.

33:59🔗 Drew I would think people have a…

34:00🔗 Adam You got to do a minimum of like 1,500 before they let you be a grip.

34:05🔗 Drew But now that I would imagine people have a strangle in this business, you know? People don't… Yeah. You know what I mean? There must be people that just kind of control this business.

34:12🔗 Adam Yeah. Just a handful of people. But the internet has opened things up, I imagine. But what do you mean producing, directing, writing? First off, I've seen a porn script. The writing. Five hour movies, three pages. Really is. Barry Lyndon of porn. I don't know what the porn name for that would be horrible. Making porn titles out of a little known 70s…

34:36🔗 Drew Little known. It's a Kubrick film.

34:39🔗 Adam Engineer Chris over here with the movie Barry Lyndon.

34:42🔗 Drew Who starred in it?

34:44🔗 Adam No, he doesn't remember it.

34:45🔗 Drew Who starred in it?

34:45🔗 Dean Cain I don't remember who starred in it, but I know it.

34:47🔗 Drew Stanley Kubrick.

34:49🔗 Alright, he starred in it.

34:50🔗 Adam I don't know. Alright, and look at Dean. Blessed, Princeton Grad.

34:54🔗 Drew He's never heard of her.

34:55🔗 Adam Fine Thespian. Never heard of her. Alright, where the hell were we? Lola, Ryan O'Neill. That's right.

35:01🔗 Drew Rolling over in his…

35:02🔗 Adam He's alive.

35:03🔗 Dean Cain He ain't rolling over in his…

35:04🔗 Adam Barker Lounge. Barker Lounge, yeah. Hey Lola. Yeah. Oh, I mean, who are we talking to?

35:08🔗 Drew Lola.

35:08🔗 Adam Oh, Lola. Sorry.

35:09🔗 Drew Lola.

35:10🔗 Adam I don't… It's weird to aspire to break into these adult films without actually just being in them.

35:17🔗 Drew Also, but it kind of means something, too. So, what's up? What's up?

35:22🔗 Adam Something's going on.

35:24🔗 Like, with our sexual abuse.

35:26🔗 Adam Yeah, something… Well, most chicks are kind of grossed out by it, to tell you the truth. And the only ones that really sort of turned on to it are ones that… Dad was a little weird or something.

35:36🔗 Well, you know. What happened? Compromise abuse of household. The sexually abused ones that I can remember. But, I mean…

35:50🔗 Drew How about as opposed to seeking your solutions through porn, being in porn, which is never, by the way, maybe Jenna Jameson accepted and solved anything for anybody. Mm-hmm. Getting some treatment.

36:05🔗 I've been in therapy for the last, like, four years, five years.

36:09🔗 Drew Are you talking to your therapist about your plan here to be in pornography?

36:14🔗 Not entirely. Sometimes I've brought it up just in passing.

36:18🔗 Drew Well, go ahead and bring it up in full swing.

36:20🔗 Adam What do you do now, by the way?

36:22🔗 I'm graduating from Reed.

36:24🔗 Drew From Reed?

36:25🔗 Yeah. In Portland, Oregon.

36:27🔗 Drew Yes.

36:27🔗 Adam Do you go there, Drew? Junior College?

36:30🔗 Drew No, no. No, no. It's university.

36:32🔗 Adam Do you smoke a lot of weed over there?

36:35🔗 No, I'm a biochem major.

36:37🔗 Drew That's a good school.

36:38🔗 Adam That's a good school. Biochem major? What's it getting important?

36:41🔗 Drew Just because she was abused doesn't mean she can't be smart.

36:43🔗 Adam All right. Well, listen, don't be stupid if you're smart, Lola. You know what I'm saying? You're blessed. You understand? Minus the sexual abuse part. You're blessed. You understand? Yeah. So, focus on your studies. This is going to... By the way, you don't have any ends or any connections. And let me tell you, the porn industry is not actually blossoming in Portland, Oregon. You don't have to go out to...

37:08🔗 Drew And by the way, people don't make money doing that. People that own the companies make money, not the people that perform in these things.

37:13🔗 Adam That's right.

37:14🔗 I really wanted to move down to LA and do some work down there, possibly, but...

37:19🔗 Adam No, don't.

37:19🔗 Drew Please do. Promise me this one thing. Do whatever you want, but tell your therapist your little plan here, okay? Please? Yep. All right.

37:25🔗 Adam And listen, everyone, stop moving to LA please. I can barely get home at night. All you idiots looking at...

37:30🔗 Drew It's gotten worse this year, didn't it?

37:31🔗 Adam I'll tell you what it is.

37:34🔗 Dean Cain We're getting older and just getting...

37:35🔗 Adam We're getting older and we're getting... I'm getting crotchety. I'm angry. I yelled, beat it, at some kids that were near my lawn today.

37:42🔗 Drew No, you did not.

37:43🔗 Adam Stay away from that lawn, you kids. Hell, it's not a chair. Oh, wait a minute. Wrong guy. But here's the thing, seriously. I've realized, is filled with people who either are not from LA and from lands that you haven't even heard of. These people were driving water buffaloes and yaks and crap a few years ago. So you've got people that aren't used to driving anything. And let me explain something to Dean over here. We got a lot of people in Los Angeles who-

38:11🔗 Drew Do not offend Dean's heritage.

38:12🔗 Adam I'm not, because I know he's part Japanese.

38:14🔗 Dean Cain That's right.

38:15🔗 Adam That's where he gets his tenacity.

38:16🔗 Dean Cain There we go. But the Asian folks-

38:18🔗 Adam No, no. Not going after the Asians.

38:20🔗 Dean Cain They're not the best drivers.

38:21🔗 Drew He was prepared to, but- Let me tell you something.

38:24🔗 Adam I have no quarrel with the Asians. They're way down on my list. I've got many, many groups to get to before I get to the Asians. Here's what I'm saying. People say, why don't we do better in soccer as a country? And then the answer is, well, we have great athletes and everything. Why can't we do better? Well, these other countries have been playing for generations. For us, it's a relatively new thing. It's going to take a while. Yes, but our guys can run faster. Yeah, but it doesn't matter. These guys, their fathers and their fathers' fathers and their fathers' fathers' fathers were playing. That's how it is with driving. We've been driving out here in the United States. Some of these other kooky nationalities in here, they weren't driving. Their dads weren't driving. Their parents weren't driving. They got like mopeds with outboard motors on them and, you know, three wheels. It's catch is catch can in some of these countries. And as you know, there's no laws. It's every man for themselves. Everything's just a two-stroke, like a two-stroke Cuisinart engine on this thing and it's blowing smoke everywhere and it's being pulled by three dogs, you know. It's a disaster. Now they don't come for it. They don't have the heritage that we have with the automobile. Now once in a while you get a guy from Germany, all right, and he's been driving for a hundred years. And fast. And fast. All right. That's a guy you get behind. But then you get behind someone from, you know, Da Nang and look out. There's going to be trouble. So Los Angeles, ton of that, ton of that. And then secondly, bunches of people from around the country aren't familiar with the terrain. Looking around. Looking over the shoulder.

39:49🔗 Drew They're from New York and Boston.

39:50🔗 Adam They're from Buffalo and it's snow, you know, six months out of the year, you couldn't even find your car. It was buried out in the driveway somewhere. And then the other time you're, most of the time you drove, you were drunk. You had to look out for the cops. And then, and then so I don't know where I am. Where should I go? Where's the freeway? I don't know the signs. So and then there's a lot of people visiting out here. So everyone's just driving around with their head on a swivel, looking around. Where am I looking for landmarks? Looking at a Thomas Guide. Having driven. That's what we're running into here. We're not running into the people that know the route.

40:18🔗 Drew You know, it's interesting. That whole visitor thing is something we have not. We've had it so recently.

40:22🔗 Adam That's trouble. And look, here's the thing too.

40:25🔗 Drew So since Hollywood kind of cleaned up, it seems like people are kind of coming back.

40:28🔗 Adam And especially if, you know, I worked down at Kimmel over there.

40:32🔗 Dean Cain That damn Kimmel guy cleaned it up over there. Put the show right in the middle.

40:35🔗 Adam He put it right in the middle and he cleaned up the city single-handedly. Yeah.

40:40🔗 Dean Cain That's why we love Jimmy Kimmel.

40:41🔗 Drew I saw the San Gennaro Festival advertised on television.

40:45🔗 Adam San Gennaro feast. San Gennaro feast everybody. Oh, that's a big deal. Yeah.

40:49🔗 Drew Who pulled that one off?

40:51🔗 Adam That's who pulled them off. The Japanese or whatever the hell you are. Tell you that right now.

40:56🔗 Drew You don't even know what I am, do you? I don't care.

40:58🔗 Adam I don't know.

40:59🔗 Drew You read my book.

41:00🔗 Adam I haven't read your book.

41:01🔗 Drew Two of them for a year.

41:02🔗 Adam Only a year.

41:03🔗 Dean Cain That's what I'm saying. You probably read the little inside cover, inside slide.

41:07🔗 Adam No.

41:08🔗 Dean Cain Back cover?

41:09🔗 Adam No, because you know what happens? I'll tell you what happens, Dean. You pick up the book with the intent of I'm just going to read the slug line at the front on here. Next thing you know, you're into page three. You know what I mean? I can't chance that. Dean Cain, everyone. Bless. You know you're blessed? Yes, sir. He's blessed. Drew, you realize he's blessed?

41:25🔗 Drew He is blessed.

41:25🔗 Adam Do you know that I know Dean's blessed?

41:27🔗 Drew I do now.

41:27🔗 Adam Okay. We'll take a quick break, Clubhouse. Name of the new TV show, CBS, Tuesday nights, nine o'clock. Preview this Sunday on CBS. Take a quick break. Be right back. That's Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. Oh, guess who's coming in tomorrow night? Rich Eisen from the NFL Channel. Dean's gonna miss that. And then Korn and Interpol and Seth MacFarlane after that from the Family Guy coming back. Drew, you did Family Guy, right?

42:40🔗 Drew I did it, yep.

42:41🔗 Adam All right.

42:41🔗 Drew And Seth did all the voices for my kids.

42:43🔗 Adam Oh, he did?

42:44🔗 Drew He did Quagmire. He did Quagmire.

42:46🔗 Adam Oh, those kids here.

42:47🔗 Drew He did Peter, and Alex was there. She read with me.

42:50🔗 Adam Alex Borstein.

42:51🔗 Drew Yeah, and she did some Lois for him.

42:54🔗 Adam Different Lois.

42:55🔗 Drew Good times.

42:56🔗 Adam Dean Cain here, totally different. Dean is-

43:01🔗 Drew Yeah.

43:02🔗 Adam Well, yeah, it's Lois Clark, right?

43:04🔗 Drew No, no, but I mean it's Lois, Peter's wife.

43:09🔗 Adam Dean is here talking about Clubhouse, which is gonna be on CBS, nine o'clock, Tuesday nights, and a big sneak preview, premiere, half premiere, half sneak preview, on Sunday, nine o'clock, on CBS. Yes, Drew. Ooh, Dean stars as Scott Peterson in the USA movie, The Perfect Husband. Really killed it, huh?

43:36🔗 Drew You filmed this already?

43:37🔗 Dean Cain We filmed this already there.

43:39🔗 Drew What happened, does anybody, did you learn, or has anybody asked the question, what happened when they closed that business across from Cal Poly Pomona? They had a restaurant that was thriving, extremely successful, and one day, they moved to Modesto for no reason. Being near the parent, yeah, sure.

43:57🔗 Dean Cain Hey, look, man, I just played the character. But there was no research or anything that's, nothing that we did. And I was very careful in playing that role, not to learn too much. I played him innocent in my mind, but not the brightest bulb. I mean, he, if you watch some of his interviews, the things that he said, it came off like a bad actor. So I figured no matter how bad a job I did in playing him, I'd look great.

44:22🔗 Drew Look just like him.

44:22🔗 Dean Cain I'd look just like him, exactly.

44:24🔗 Adam Dean did eerily look like him too, by the way. I mean, you don't think of Dean Cain when you think of Scott Peterson, but when you saw him in the hairstyle that way, or I don't know, wearing just a court suit or something, it really looked like it. What do they do? I mean, they do this in movies. They make Val Kilmer become Jim Morrison. They're not using prosthetic chin clefts. How do they do it? You don't look that much like the guy. How do they do that? They style the hair, they put the clothes on, but then what?

44:57🔗 Dean Cain Then the actor has to do the job and pick up the little things that this person does, the way they speak, their mannerisms, the way they phrase words, the way they move, sort of all that stuff. And I'd say that Val Kilmer did a little bit better job playing Jim Morrison than I did playing Scott.

45:14🔗 Adam No, he did not. Kilmer should have played Scott Peterson.

45:17🔗 Dean Cain No, I'd like to see that.

45:19🔗 Adam And you play Morrison. Yeah. To me, I don't know. To me, see, I always say that would be the hardest thing to do, to play somebody else. You know, it's one thing you just play a part. Oh, you're grizzled streetwise New York cop. All right, I'll just do whatever I want with it, you know. But the idea that you're playing somebody that people know and know very well and see all over the news and they see him and they hear him talk. You screw that up. It's like when you do an impersonation or an impression, you do a bad one, everyone starts laughing at you. Truth.

45:47🔗 Dean Cain I was actually terrified of that. And I thought I might be terrible.

45:51🔗 Caller But you weren't.

45:52🔗 Dean Cain It turned out OK.

45:53🔗 Adam It worked out. All right. See? See? Story had a happy ending, Drew.

45:58🔗 Drew He's blessed.

45:59🔗 Caller He's blessed.

46:00🔗 Adam He's blessed. Drew, you know that that Dean knows and I'm aware that he's blessed, right?

46:06🔗 Drew I know now.

46:09🔗 Yes?

46:10🔗 Adam You're 20.

46:12🔗 Caller I have a little bit of a problem. I had a boyfriend of two years from the ages of like 17 to 19, and it just turned 20. We broke up eight months ago, and he actually wet the bed quite a bit at night. And it didn't bother me because I loved him, and I just dealt with it. But now I'm starting to wet the bed.

46:36🔗 Adam Really? It's a pathetic bladder disorder.

46:39🔗 Drew Hommage.

46:40🔗 Caller I know it's not contagious, but I think it's like my state of mind. But for the past like months, I mean, we've been broken up for like eight months. For the past month, I've been wetting the bed at night.

46:53🔗 Drew We got to dig into this.

46:54🔗 Adam How often?

46:54🔗 Drew We got to take a break.

46:55🔗 Adam All right. Nicole, how often?

46:58🔗 Caller At least maybe once or twice a week.

47:01🔗 Adam Wow. Yeah. That's a bit much for a 20-year-old. All right. I have my own bed-wetting stories I can share with the folks. Dean Cain, blessed. Dean Cain, get a hand.

47:09🔗 Drew Not blessed by this habit, unfortunately.

47:11🔗 Adam No.

47:11🔗 Drew The fortune.

47:12🔗 Adam Not been touched.

47:13🔗 Drew But the hand of God touched you as it pertains to this.

47:15🔗 Adam Yes. Yes. And I'll shed some light on her urine after this.

47:41🔗 Caller This hour brought to you in part by Axe.

48:21🔗 Adam Hey everybody, it's the Loveline. I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-191. Dean Cain, blessed. Dean Cain, so blessed, so very blessed. Dean Cain in studio tonight. Clubhouse, name of his new show, CBS. Nine o'clock on Tuesday nights. Big sneak preview on Sunday night. Dean and I were speaking during the break about vomiting. And Dean tells of a white wine-related vomit story. Turned out, I may have been vomiting at the exact same time that Dean was vomiting. You know, ships in the night.

48:55🔗 Drew Who knew?

48:56🔗 Adam He was on the other side of town vomiting. I was in North Hollywood vomiting. He was in Malibu vomiting.

49:01🔗 Drew But he had the blessed parking spot and you had the cursed parking spot.

49:05🔗 Adam Yeah, we... Now, tell us your white wine-chugging vomit story, please.

49:11🔗 Dean Cain Yeah, my buddy and I, we broke into his dad's stash of, I believe it was Almaden Mountain Chablis, and it was a jug the size of a keg.

49:20🔗 Adam Yeah, they used to put them in those huge glass jugs with the gold screw top.

49:26🔗 Dean Cain Yeah, and we decided to...

49:28🔗 Drew With the finger, like the moonshine.

49:30🔗 Adam Yeah, sling it over your shoulder.

49:31🔗 Dean Cain It really felt like a moonshine jug. And we drank a bunch of that, and it didn't taste very good going down, and it didn't taste very good at all coming back up. So it's taken me a long time.

49:41🔗 Adam Yeah, it's tough to get back on.

49:43🔗 Dean Cain And now, but now on a really hot day at about six o'clock in the afternoon, a nice crisp white wine is okay.

49:49🔗 Adam Yeah, well, that's the thing. You're a champion. A lot of guys walk away, they never get back on that bottle. Not you, my friend.

49:57🔗 Dean Cain If I see a jug, Bill, I'm running.

49:59🔗 Adam You're not going to let that bottle lick you. So to speak. Climb right back on that thing. Yeah, I was having trouble chugging beer when I was, you know, 11. No, I was, you know, I don't know, 16, 17. And the beer was too, the carbonation. I used to say the guys who were putting all the peer pressure on me. I don't, it's the bubbles. I can't take it.

50:20🔗 Drew Plus it was Mickey's Big Mouth.

50:22🔗 Adam Yeah, yeah. No finer brew than Mickey's Big Mouth. So finally, we had a guy, had a buddy named Chet. And Chet worked at the AMPM on the corner. And Chet would not, he would not steal for us. He just wouldn't mind if we steal in front of him or stole in front of him. So we would just go in and steal. And somebody stole the big jug of white wine. And I remember them pouring it into tumblers. Just a tumbler of white wine. And my thing is like, I'd been talking the whole time about, well, it was the carbonation. Now this doesn't have any carbonation. It was just sort of sweet, crappy, you know, but you could chug it. You know, it wasn't like, you can't chug hard liquor because the alcohol content's too high. And beer eventually starts sort of burning your throat, especially when you're 16. But the sweet white wine just chugged it down like it was Kool-Aid. Couple of tumblers of that, heaved in the back of a car, not only on myself, but on John Tyler, the guy who went and got, stole the jug of booze, and then crawled up my driveway and heaved in the driveway.

51:29🔗 Drew Is this the way you woke up the next morning with gravel attached to your face?

51:33🔗 Adam I fell asleep on the driveway. The crawlers have old asphalt driveways, you know what I mean? And I woke up with part of the driveway stuck in my cheek.

51:41🔗 Drew I didn't show up and just start poking at you with a nightstick.

51:43🔗 Adam I was mostly in the bushes, so I was fine.

51:46🔗 Drew Hey listen, before we talk to Nicole, finish her bedwetting story, I wanna talk to somebody from Sacramento who wants to set us straight or tell us the Scott Peterson, complete the story. Oh really? Yeah, sounds interesting.

51:56🔗 Dean Cain They'll know more than me.

51:57🔗 Adam Kara?

51:58🔗 Drew Kara.

51:58🔗 Adam Kara? 25, Kara, what's up?

52:01🔗 Caller Okay, first of all, it's Cal Poly San Luis Obispo.

52:05🔗 Drew Oh, what did I say, Pomona?

52:07🔗 Adam I said Pomona? No, it's weird, because I was thinking San Luis, too, because I know it's where they're from.

52:12🔗 Caller Okay, my roommate, one of my roommates worked for Scott Peterson at the restaurant, and my other roommate's fiancee bought the place that they sold, but there was an owner in between, so. He was screwing around in San Luis big time, but he was kind of quiet about it, not as flagrant as he is now or was now.

52:29🔗 Drew Screwing around with girls and college kids.

52:31🔗 Caller Yes, but she was the feisty one.

52:34🔗 Adam Oh, really?

52:35🔗 Caller Really, I mean, no, super nice and stuff, but she, I was in there one time and people were underage drinking and she got in some faces.

52:42🔗 Adam Oh, really?

52:42🔗 Caller Yeah, she was the feisty one. He was kind of the quiet whatever.

52:45🔗 Drew Yeah, I could tell she was six kinds of, six kinds of like bored, bored, or lying. I mean, she doesn't think who he is and who would he be with.

52:51🔗 Adam Yeah, but guys like that can fool women sometimes. They, huh?

52:56🔗 Drew They need to be with that guy.

52:57🔗 Caller He always had some, not that I ever saw for his pan, but he always had some on the side.

53:01🔗 Adam All right, and why did they sell the business?

53:03🔗 Drew Yeah, the business was thriving. Why did they suddenly just bail out?

53:05🔗 Caller It wasn't thriving. It was doing well, but it wasn't thriving at all. It's hard. It's a small town, no one, you know.

53:12🔗 Drew So they just wanted to go do something else.

53:13🔗 Caller Yeah, and I think she wanted to go back and be by her family.

53:16🔗 Drew Oh, so really is what happened.

53:19🔗 Adam Thanks, Vidal. Good night, let's see, Power Radio. Now we're gonna talk to someone who's whizzing on themselves. You're 20? All right, so your boyfriend used to wet the bed. And now he's out.

53:34🔗 Caller Yes.

53:34🔗 Drew And now you bet the bed twice a week.

53:37🔗 Caller Yeah, I have never had this problem in my life and all of a sudden he's out of my life and I'm doing it like I caught a cold or something.

53:46🔗 Drew You've not been wetting from him. Did you just use the F word?

53:50🔗 Adam I don't think so.

53:51🔗 Caller Did I say the F word?

53:52🔗 Adam No, you didn't use the F word, did you?

53:54🔗 Caller No, no, absolutely not.

53:56🔗 Adam Okay. That's exactly what someone who just used the F word would say, but here's the thing, I don't care. Nicole, here's what you gotta do.

54:04🔗 Caller Well, let's figure out what's going on for you.

54:06🔗 Drew Are you on any medication?

54:07🔗 Caller No, no. I'm not even on birth control, so.

54:10🔗 Drew Could you possibly have a urine infection or something that's triggering this?

54:13🔗 Caller You know what? I used to get yeast infections all the time, but I know it's not a yeast infection. I don't have any symptoms of it being a yeast infection, and I don't have the problem urinating on a daily basis, so.

54:23🔗 Drew So no, it doesn't hurt when you urinate or burn, anything of that sort?

54:26🔗 Caller No, no, not at all.

54:28🔗 Adam All right, now let me start with my advice.

54:29🔗 Drew And one last thing. Do you think that this is some sort of attempt to recapture this guy, you know, sort of you're dealing with, his leaving, was it a very painful thing?

54:39🔗 Caller Um, yeah, but it was my choice.

54:41🔗 Drew I understand, but is this, sometimes.

54:43🔗 Adam Oh, but it says he cheated or something, right? He was whizzing in other women's beds, yes?

54:50🔗 Caller I don't know, I have no idea.

54:52🔗 Adam All right, well, why was it your choice? I mean, if it was so painful, why didn't you just stay with him?

54:59🔗 Caller His mother, to be quite honest, he was quite attached to his mother, and she was making it painful to continue the relationship.

55:07🔗 Adam That's why I'm attached to mom. All right, so really, so you dumped him because he couldn't, he sort of had to choose between you and mom, and he chose mom?

55:16🔗 Caller No, not at all. Mom would set him up, or we would be at Christmas dinner, Thanksgiving dinner, and she would purposely invite little girls over to the house to, you know, she'd set the table and sit next to him, and he wouldn't stand up for me. She'd sit there and bash me the entire time, and I'd, you know.

55:37🔗 Adam Hold on a second, that job.

55:39🔗 Drew Reenactment. So it's because he had to choose between you and mom, and he chose mom?

55:45🔗 Adam He would come over for Christmas dinner, and he'd invite little girls over? What does that mean?

55:51🔗 Caller Well, he would invite like the girls around the block who were 16 years old over to Thanksgiving dinner, and she would, oh, you know, Andrea, this is my son Scott, and I wanted you to meet him. And the entire time, it was like a set up, like a date or something, and I was, it was really uncomfortable. No, hold on.

56:11🔗 Adam No, Nicole, Nicole, you're getting nuttier. You're sounding nuttier as the syllables wear on. Yeah, yeah, that's stupid. I don't understand what this means. I don't believe you, though. I think you're paranoid about this. I'm not paranoid. Something's up. Something's up with your radar. You're not reading things right. I mean, look, maybe she's a piece of work, maybe he is, but I don't, he invite you over for Christmas and then bring in neighborhood girls and sit them next to him and try to set them up with teenagers while she berated you. That sounds delusional.

56:48🔗 Caller This woman's been married like six times and...

56:51🔗 Adam Okay. Here's the, okay, let me say this.

56:53🔗 Drew Does that, by the way, speaks volumes about the kind of woman that he would go for?

56:58🔗 Adam I got to speak, and I'm speaking in broad terms here. People tell us this all the time, like this crazy person, they did this, and you go, wow, that's so incredibly out of line. So here are your two choices. A, the person did do that, is that far out of line, and is that way, and then B, they are, and you went over there, and you continued to go over there. You continue to sort of climb into the lion's den this way and be knocked around. No, you say to your partner, look, your mom, she's a nut job. I'm not going over there. Last time I was over there, it was very uncomfortable. I'm not going over there this Thanksgiving. So either way, it sort of ends up falling in your lap, or you're sort of delusional and paranoid, and you're creating this fantasy, which you think is true, but we don't believe you. I think it's probably little of each, but I don't know why you have to dance with these people. They're screwed up, they're nutty. Why do you got to go over there and dance with them?

57:50🔗 Caller He lived with his mother.

57:51🔗 Adam All right, so he comes over to your place, wets your bed, brings a turkey, takes a whiz on the stuffing, and then, you know.

57:59🔗 Caller Oh my God.

58:00🔗 Adam Why do you have to go? Yeah, all right, he lived there, so fine, you don't have to go over there. You don't like her.

58:04🔗 Caller He was just extremely, I can't handle a boy who's extremely attached to his mother. Why not? So that was one of my problems.

58:14🔗 Adam Where's your mom?

58:16🔗 Caller My mom's working.

58:17🔗 Adam She's working.

58:18🔗 Caller I'm extremely dependent, and it's hard for me to, he constantly wanted to hang out with his family, which is good, and he's extremely close with his brothers, and they all live at home.

58:29🔗 Adam Did your mom neglect you growing up?

58:31🔗 Caller A little bit, but you know, I'm not going to feel sorry for myself.

58:34🔗 Adam No, you're not. You're just going to take it out on all-menu day. Wow, heavy. We're getting somewhere. What was your mom doing? Working the whole time you were young?

58:44🔗 Caller My mom started her own gymnastics school.

58:47🔗 Adam Uh-oh, eating disorder. Keep going.

58:49🔗 Caller I wish I had an eating disorder. No, my mom started her own gymnastics school. My dad was out of the picture when I was two, and then she got remarried to a wonderful guy when I was four.

59:00🔗 Drew So you like your stepdad?

59:02🔗 Caller I love him, yeah.

59:03🔗 Adam Okay, all right, so here's the thing, Nicole. Here's how you stop wetting the bed. You ready? I'll give this to Dean.

59:09🔗 Caller He needs this.

59:11🔗 Adam Yeah, Dean's son does a little bed-wetting, and even the man of steel will rust his drawers every once in a while.

59:17🔗 Dean Cain I handle it very simply with the little nighttime diapers for the kid.

59:23🔗 Adam Oh, really?

59:23🔗 Dean Cain That's what I do. They have the nighttime diapers?

59:26🔗 Adam That's good, right?

59:27🔗 Drew The pull-ups.

59:28🔗 Dean Cain Yep.

59:29🔗 Adam They put the pull-ups on him?

59:31🔗 Dean Cain And it's good for me.

59:32🔗 Adam Well, I'm going to tell you how to save yourself money on the diapers, even though, like I said, with the novelty-sized check coming every other week from the Ripley's people, you don't need it. But here's what you do. You get yourself – I'm going to talk to Nicole here. Nicole, get one of those digital timers from the store. You can get them at the food store. You can get them at the grocery market. You can get them at the Thrifty's, the Save-On, whatever the Rite Aid, whatever it is. They're little digital ones. They take a AAA battery and tink, tink, tink. Press the thing for like a – I don't know. It doesn't matter when you go to bed. Just hit this thing for like four hours. You know what I mean? It's a little digital thing. Tink, tink, tink. Hit it. It'll go off in four hours. When it goes off, you get up and take a leak. If you get up and it's wet, the next night you set it for three hours. But you just get up and take a leak. You get back in bed. You won't wet the bed. You're never going to do that.

1:00:27🔗 Drew Because it means leaving the boyfriend once and for all.

1:00:28🔗 Adam Can you do that or are you going to do what I told you to do?

1:00:32🔗 Caller It's kind of embarrassing.

1:00:35🔗 Adam I'm telling you, the whole bed-wetting thing, because I used to wet the bed and my grandpa cured me.

1:00:39🔗 Drew It makes sure there's not something else going on with her.

1:00:42🔗 Caller No, I'm done with her.

1:00:45🔗 Drew Are you drinking a lot of fluids? You're not thirsty all the time?

1:01:03🔗 Caller No, I'll wet the bed. I'll wake up right after I do it. I roll over and immediately I think he's in the bed with me. It can't possibly be me with the bed. I wake over and I roll over and no one's there.

1:01:14🔗 Drew I'm like, Oh, see, she never used a four-letter word. Never. Not Nicole.

1:01:21🔗 Adam She's yelled the holy ass. All right. Let's cut our losses.

1:01:28🔗 Drew Why do I feel like Nicole's got something mega going on with her?

1:01:31🔗 Adam Absolutely something going on. Absolutely. Absolutely. Can feel it. Okay, so you wake up, you take a leak, you go back to bed, you don't wet the bed. It's as simple as that.

1:01:46🔗 Dean Cain Maybe he never wet the bed and it was just confusion.

1:01:49🔗 Adam Yeah, maybe it was her all along. Using that Princeton education. Smart, thinking outside of the box a little. Okay, no, I'm done with her. Brisa? You're 21?

1:02:04🔗 Caller I am.

1:02:04🔗 Adam What's up?

1:02:06🔗 Caller Well, my question is basically I'm going into the Air Force in about two months, November 29th. Yeah, and I wanted to know if there was something I can take. I was thinking maybe the Depo Verashot for I don't want to get my period while I'm in there basically.

1:02:23🔗 Adam Well, you're going to boot camp and stuff?

1:02:25🔗 Caller Yeah. Boot camp is six and a half weeks long for the Air Force.

1:02:28🔗 Adam Yeah, you don't need the embarrassment when you're climbing that wall. Yeah, that's bad.

1:02:33🔗 Drew But Depo would actually be the last thing you'd want to do because the first three months after you take that shot, you bleed continuously. It's the second three months that the period usually stops.

1:02:47🔗 Adam Let me tell you. People who sign up during wartime should get a bump that stays with them. Let's face it. Half the military, and I hate to say this, but a lot of these guys are just slackers. They don't have a choice. They don't have the brains of you and Dean Cain. They weren't going to college. They didn't have any work. They were just like, I'm going to join up with the Army. When I was in high school, you go join up with the Army. There's nothing going on. They'll pay you. You do a little training. You hang out. You get the three squares in a cot, and you're fine. Yeah, there's no problem. But joining up during wartime, that's something. That's a little something different. Especially if, okay, if you join the Marines right now, there'd be a good chance you'd be shipped out in a few months, I'm guessing. So, whatever you join it, it should be like, it should have a scale. If you join during wartime, you get 30% more even two years after it's done. You know what I'm saying? A little incentive, too, by the way.

1:03:46🔗 Drew Taxes are not going up.

1:03:47🔗 Adam Think about the difference between joining the Army when there's no war and not going to be a war, and then joining the Army when there is a war. I mean, one of them is hang out stateside, see if you can get deployed in Hawaii or something and keep it cool. Learn how to work on missiles. And the other one is I might get killed. Yes?

1:04:08🔗 Drew Big deal.

1:04:09🔗 Adam Especially since we're not fighting in any desirable places anymore. There was a time when we could go... Well, no. But you go to Grenada.

1:04:19🔗 Drew Panama?

1:04:20🔗 Adam There we go. Who wants to go to Panama? Grenada. We have to kick a little ass and then we're going to relax. Now you're up there. You got these scorpions everywhere. The chicks are wearing bedspreads on their heads. It's a camel crap. Big dust bowls. 170 degrees. I mean, that's bad. Vietnam, at least, you know, go buy a little hash. Bang a hooker. You know what I mean? You got nothing over there. You see what I'm saying?

1:04:43🔗 Drew Good times.

1:04:44🔗 Adam That's good times.

1:04:45🔗 Drew So, Breeza, what you should do is go on the birth control pill and just take it continuously. You can start any time. They actually have a packet now that is continuous. So for three, four, six months at a time. And there is no reason you have to have your period. Just take the pill continuously. I forget the name of the product, but there is one out there that is actually packaged in such a way. I think it is three months at a time.

1:05:05🔗 Adam You say you are going into the Navy? Air Force. What are you going to do in the Air Force? Security.

1:05:16🔗 Drew You have to pick what you are going to do as you enlist?

1:05:18🔗 Adam Yeah, they do. And by the way, let me tell you what happened with the Corolla mental weight scale. First, you start off at 128 pounds. Then I found out her name was Breeza. And both dropped about 145, 150. Then I heard Air Force, pow, she went to 165. And then when I heard security, boom.

1:05:40🔗 Caller 205, pushing two.

1:05:42🔗 Adam Pushed two good junior college linebacker size. Maybe outside backer. Got wheels, you know, not the size you like. Yeah, that's what I'm thinking. Breeza?

1:05:50🔗 Yeah.

1:05:51🔗 Adam You big gal?

1:05:52🔗 No, I'm actually not.

1:05:54🔗 Adam Really? Well, cause wait till you get, let me tell you something, wait till you get into the security. Because security, pants for female security, they only come in extra huge ass and then you have to fight to fill it out. They don't make skinny ones. It's just huge ass size ones. That's all they make. That's what it is. You know how goldfish will get as big as the tank it's in. And ass will get as big as the pants it gets stuffed into.

1:06:20🔗 You know what?

1:06:21🔗 Caller I knew I was going to get drilled by you. I knew it.

1:06:24🔗 Adam Hey, if you can't take this, sweetie, you don't belong in this man's Air Force.

1:06:30🔗 Just because I love you.

1:06:32🔗 Caller That's the only reason.

1:06:32🔗 Adam Alright, there you go.

1:06:35🔗 Drew What a rejoinder.

1:06:36🔗 Adam That's tough love. That's fine. So you're going to be like an MP?

1:06:40🔗 Caller It's like an MP, but the Air Force likes to call it Security Forces for whatever reason.

1:06:44🔗 Adam And you do that for like four years and then you get out and you start getting in, you join in like a municipal police department?

1:06:51🔗 Caller My plan or my goal at this point is to do some sort of law enforcement, yeah.

1:06:56🔗 Adam Alright. And by the way, let me just say this. You're Chick, right?

1:07:01🔗 Caller I am.

1:07:02🔗 Adam Do you got a nationality you can cash in on?

1:07:04🔗 Caller Yeah, I'm Hispanic.

1:07:06🔗 Adam Hispanic, alright. Chick, Hispanic, you should be able to...

1:07:10🔗 Drew Job now.

1:07:10🔗 Adam You should walk right into LAPD headquarters and go like I'm taking over. I want to be the chief. And I'm bilingual, so... So here's what I'm saying, why do the Navy thing? Why not just go into the Air Force thing? Why not just go to the Academy?

1:07:25🔗 Caller I like to have stuff in my resume. I just don't like to march into places and be like, hire me, I'm a minority, you know?

1:07:32🔗 Adam Oh, I appreciate that. Stupid, but I respect it. No, I don't know, but look, you're on the ball. I mean, I'm serious. I'm saying, you know, as you're bilingual, you're female, you're Hispanic, you could go into almost any police department around the country and probably get hired on.

1:07:49🔗 Caller I agree with you, but I like to fill up my resume with good stuff, so.

1:07:53🔗 Adam God bless her. I tried that. I tried to get on the fire department. I went out there, I said my name's Marisol, and I wore eyelashes. And I fanned myself. And the guy said, you're a chick? And I went, fresh! And I hit him with that. The thing was like Bugs Bunny. Yeah, there's a good movie. That's Dean's next movie. Yeah. Affirmative Action. Tries to get on.

1:08:19🔗 Drew It's a great name for a film.

1:08:26🔗 Adam Affirmative Action. Yeah, OK. Here's what we do in Affirmative Action. They've done it in a few movies, but never Affirmative Action. You're a white guy. Well, you did Scott Beard. You play Scott. You can do white. He's a white guy. You're a white guy who's been trying to get on on the Los Angeles Fire Department for a number of years now, but nothing. The test dates come and go. You're way at the back of the list. They've got enough white guys over there. They've got to get some other nationalities to fill it out. You finally realize this, and that's where you go as Marisol, the fast talking, sassy Hispanic woman. And busty. Huge novelty bust. So you go in, you test, and you get put on a firehouse. And the fire captain, older white guy, drunk, oh he's hitting on you. I like that too. I like when the drunken boss goes, oh look at you. And the guy's got a name like Fred Alina. So fetching. And the guy's like, Fred Flintstone wearing a dress, like really? That's hot? That's hot to you? Huge calves. Can't control himself. Okay. But then, let's see. So, you trust, there's one guy in the firehouse who knows your secret. He's secretly gay. Shared secret. Shared secret. And then, the mother of all fires breaks out. A mattress warehouse. Nothing but mattresses. A huge pyramid of mattresses going there. And I don't know, I've worked out all the beats. You gotta use your bra somehow at the end. You know, to pull the man out. Affirmative action. Yeah. Drew, you writing any of this down?

1:10:16🔗 Drew It's in my head. Are you kidding? It's pure genius.

1:10:18🔗 Adam Thank you. Dean Cain in the studio tonight. Going to be in Clubhouse coming up. That's his TV gig. But the big screen. Look for him in Affirmative Action. He has Marisol. Yeah. Marisol Hernandez. Isn't it fresh? Hits with the fan. Hits with the fan all the time.

1:10:36🔗 Dean Cain Fresca, fresca, fresca.

1:10:37🔗 Drew Wait, his Marisol's got a Rosie Perez's voice though.

1:10:41🔗 Adam Yeah, no, that works. We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back after this.

1:10:54🔗 Caller Drew, how much money do guys spend trying to get chicks?

1:10:59🔗 Adam Into the billions?

1:10:59🔗 Caller Yes.

1:11:00🔗 Adam Cars?

1:11:01🔗 Caller Everything. Condos? Everything. Hair plugs?

1:11:03🔗 Adam All they need is a Max deodorant body spray.

1:11:07🔗 Caller And a million dollars.

1:11:35🔗 Adam Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. That's Dr. Drew. Engineer Chris, give me the finger.

1:11:39🔗 Caller That's nice.

1:11:40🔗 Adam Pow! We're on the air. Yeah, looking good, buddy. Doing good tonight?

1:11:46🔗 Caller Yeah, looking good. VEEL or Venison?

1:11:50🔗 Adam Boy, we really got a... No, I'm not... Hold on. Engineer Chris, you know the difference between VEEL and Venison, yeah? We went through it? Okay.

1:12:00🔗 Drew I don't remember if we went through it.

1:12:02🔗 Adam You don't remember that we went through it?

1:12:03🔗 Drew Not at all.

1:12:05🔗 Adam Here's my point. We got quite a... We got a nice range here tonight because we got Amherst, and then we got Princeton on one side of the table, and over here, we got... What junior college?

1:12:18🔗 Drew Junior college.

1:12:19🔗 Adam Which junior college?

1:12:20🔗 Drew Oh, ELAC.

1:12:21🔗 Adam ELAC?

1:12:22🔗 Drew Where's ELAC?

1:12:23🔗 Adam Novelty funny.

1:12:25🔗 Drew Where's ELAC?

1:12:25🔗 Adam Junior college, it's actually in Monterey Park.

1:12:27🔗 Drew Monterey Park?

1:12:28🔗 Adam We got ELAC, and we got LA Valley College over here.

1:12:32🔗 Drew But you did actually complete a little junior college.

1:12:34🔗 Adam I was put on academic probation at a junior college, and you know what you're...

1:12:38🔗 Drew I did not know that about you.

1:12:40🔗 Adam Let me tell you what you have to do.

1:12:41🔗 Drew I'm not surprised, but I didn't know that.

1:12:43🔗 Adam You have to drive your car into the principal's office and pin him against his desk.

1:12:48🔗 Drew Not get out of your car and pin him, you have to pin him with your vehicle.

1:12:50🔗 Adam No, actually drive your vehicle into it and push his desk up against the wall and pin his leg. That's the only way you can get put on academic probation, and that's just him wanting you to put it in reverse and let him get out of his pressure. Mangled legs to get out from behind the desk. You know what you have to do to get out of academic probation? It's almost impossible. Yes. It's like, it's really, it's sort of like getting into trouble in a biker gang. You know what I mean? Like, oh, we got a disciplined Tex over here. He's a little out of control. We try to tell him to keep it to one keg. You got, yeah, you know what I mean? We should keep the raping to five, Tex. He crossed the line, he got in the double digits. You really have to work hard. So, that's it.

1:13:33🔗 Dean Cain I've never been in academic probation, so.

1:13:35🔗 Adam So you haven't?

1:13:36🔗 Dean Cain There we go.

1:13:37🔗 Drew Well, that's good. Now we've run the gamut here.

1:13:39🔗 Adam Right.

1:13:40🔗 Caller Doing all right. Yeah, you're fine.

1:13:42🔗 Adam You got one class, take one class.

1:13:44🔗 Caller I work full time.

1:13:45🔗 Adam You got a math class? Yeah, okay. Listen, I've done the math. In year 2072, he'll be transferring to UC Riverside.

1:13:56🔗 Caller It'll be huge.

1:13:57🔗 Adam They're gonna take his corpse and symbolically take it to a four-year college. Scatter his ashes over the student union. It's gonna be huge. Listen, I'm just saying I was smart enough to get out of junior college. Okay. Got a grip on you, buddy. I should go around and talk to people like I should have junior college interventions. That's what I should do. Like, they do it with drugs all the time. Guy shows up, he's come back, he's got a hacky sack, a dime bag in his pocket. He's ran into Blockbuster movies, got a couple of peachy folders. Guy just comes and chets it out. We all surround him. How long you been going to LA Valley College? Nine, nine, 19 semesters. You know, he said you were gonna transfer to an Ivy League school. That was nine years ago. I know, I'm getting around. Nobody, you're out! And we just said, grab him, and it's really tough, but we drag him out and we take him to a job.

1:14:45🔗 Drew We wouldn't go there.

1:14:46🔗 Adam We could force him to get a job.

1:14:47🔗 Drew Your family's here because they love you. They're gonna tell you how your behaviors affected them.

1:14:51🔗 Adam Right.

1:14:51🔗 Drew The sisters have a little script.

1:14:53🔗 Adam It's embarrassing. They start crying.

1:14:55🔗 Drew Embarrassing to me. I have to tell my friends you make one class due to college. You're on academic probation. It is such humiliation.

1:15:04🔗 Adam You understand. And for the first few years, I lied. I said you died in Vietnam. I wanted to try to spare myself.

1:15:10🔗 Drew I tried to sleep a night worrying about you.

1:15:12🔗 Adam Yes.

1:15:13🔗 Drew I've asked you a thousand times to change, to move on.

1:15:16🔗 Adam Yeah. Oh, it's good, Drew. I could run them. I'd be standing there. I'd say we have to have a plan. We have to take the guy down to like a pack, like a meatpacking plant, get him a job. We got a job waiting for him in a one bedroom apartment.

1:15:30🔗 Drew I'm just thinking about the intervention. We actually get the principal involved.

1:15:33🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:15:33🔗 Drew The principal would show up on crutches, of course.

1:15:36🔗 Adam Yeah, he's showing up because you pinned him. Yeah, of course. He's explaining that you're not for your college material. It's time to listen. Yeah. Oh, this is good, Drew. I wish someone had done this for my mom many years ago. We can still do it. Chicano Studies major, by the way, over at Valley College. Yeah, I'm a legacy. It's huge. She's been there 53 years. I swear to Christ. Julie. Hello. Julie. Yes, you're 22. What's happening?

1:16:08🔗 Caller Dr. Drew.

1:16:09🔗 Adam What's happening, baby? Say hello to Dean Cain.

1:16:11🔗 Caller Hi, Dean Cain.

1:16:13🔗 Dean Cain Hi, Julie.

1:16:13🔗 Caller How are you doing?

1:16:15🔗 Dean Cain I'm doing very well.

1:16:17🔗 Adam Say hi. Don't make small talk. Here we go.

1:16:23🔗 Caller I totally made up the question because I have a different question and the guy wouldn't talk to me before.

1:16:28🔗 Drew I would. Anderson's brutal.

1:16:32🔗 Adam Yeah. He's a harsh man.

1:16:33🔗 Drew I consider that creative and motivated.

1:16:36🔗 Adam Put her back on. Let's hear what it is.

1:16:37🔗 Drew I'm interested in when somebody wants that badly to get in the air, it must be an important call.

1:16:41🔗 Dean Cain It's the whole admitting it, though. And then they get other people to do it and then they try and lie to the screeners.

1:16:45🔗 Adam It's not going to be. But listen, Sheriff. Let her back on, please.

1:16:49🔗 Caller I've been dealing with this for a long time. All right.

1:16:52🔗 Adam Go ahead. Spit it out. It better be good.

1:16:54🔗 Caller I'll be quick. I've been hanging out with this guy for like two months and I'm just having trouble reading him. Like, I don't know. Like, one minute I think he likes me and the next minute I'm not really sure.

1:17:08🔗 Drew Well, here's the deal. One question. Is he loaded on drugs or pot or anything?

1:17:12🔗 Caller No.

1:17:14🔗 Drew And he doesn't like you? Mm-hmm. It's very simple. That's exactly what I was going to say.

1:17:18🔗 Adam When a guy digs you, and especially when you dig him.

1:17:20🔗 Drew It's like saying, I'm not sure if this freight train is coming my direction or not. Freight train? Freight train. But I'm waiting for it. I hear the train coming, but no. The train will come if it's coming, fast. Yes. Men do not mince about about these kinds of things.

1:17:36🔗 Adam Well, Drew, you're a passionate man, a man of exquisite passion. You know how Dean's a blessed man?

1:17:40🔗 Drew He's passionate, too.

1:17:41🔗 Adam You're blessed with passion. Well, that's another blessing for him.

1:17:44🔗 Drew I understand you better have a pulse, but even you would agree with this.

1:17:47🔗 Adam If I was into someone, I'm making a move, especially if you're hanging out a lot.

1:17:50🔗 Drew And they'll know.

1:17:53🔗 Adam What does he do?

1:17:56🔗 Caller Well, we've pretty much done everything except, like, it.

1:18:02🔗 Adam This is problem number two, which is now holding back.

1:18:06🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:18:06🔗 Adam No, you're just physical. I mean, he's not into you, he's just in his little maintenance program.

1:18:11🔗 Drew But he's also holding back, too, because if you're really into her, he wouldn't be able to hold back from that. Now he's saying to himself, I don't want to do this with her, I don't want to land her that much.

1:18:21🔗 Adam Who's not having, wait a minute, who's the one who's stopping it at a certain point sexually? Is that you or him?

1:18:27🔗 Caller That would be definitely me.

1:18:29🔗 Adam Oh, you?

1:18:30🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:18:30🔗 Adam All right. See, Drew, you're wrong, as usual.

1:18:32🔗 Drew But again, he sort of.

1:18:34🔗 Adam No. Well, he's not raping. He's not raping. Is rape a good thing? That's what we should all have?

1:18:39🔗 Drew Oh, tell Dean, he'll appreciate your rape theory.

1:18:42🔗 Adam Well, it's not a theory, it's a fact.

1:18:43🔗 Drew It's a fact about rape. He's very, very insightful on the show.

1:18:47🔗 Adam I've told Drew many times, I've told the people on the air. Rape is not a sexual crime. It's not. It's a violent crime.

1:18:56🔗 Drew Against women.

1:18:57🔗 Adam Where you come at the end, you know. But other than that, it's violent. It's not a sexual crime, you understand? It's violent, but you do, you come, you come. At the end.

1:19:08🔗 Drew Same thing. No, no, but same thing.

1:19:10🔗 Adam No, it is, yeah. No, no, no. No different than any other kind of violent crime. I go in and rob a liquor store and a pistol whip the owner and then come. It's the same thing. It's any violent crime. It's an aggravated assault where you come. It's a vehicular manslaughter if you came, like when you're running over someone. It's a crime of violence where you come. But it's not sexual. It's not sexual. It's like many other things where you come that aren't sexual. They're just not. You know what I mean? I mean, there could be times when you orgasm at a funeral, at a wake, during a Pop Warner football game. There are many times stuck in traffic, aggravated, you orgasm, not sexual. Nothing sexual about that. Act of violence where you come and that's all. But not a sexual crime.

1:20:08🔗 Drew How would they ever have called that a sexual crime?

1:20:13🔗 Adam You can put your penis in the... Not sexual. Not sexual.

1:20:17🔗 Drew Violence.

1:20:18🔗 Adam It's violence. Understand? Yes.

1:20:20🔗 Caller You understand?

1:20:21🔗 Adam That's very clear.

1:20:22🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:20:23🔗 Adam No. And it's just like when you go home and make, you know, have sex with your wife. That's not sexual. That's violence.

1:20:30🔗 Drew Wait a minute. You called it sex though, is that...

1:20:32🔗 Adam Well, yeah, I know. But anytime your penis goes in someone, it's violent. That's what I'm saying.

1:20:38🔗 Drew Oh, now it's clear, finally.

1:20:42🔗 Adam It's a crime of violence, Dean. That's all I'm saying.

1:20:44🔗 Drew Where you come?

1:20:46🔗 Adam I really like to do a PSA for that. Drew loves that. Who the hell are we talking to? Julie. Oh, yeah, Julie.

1:20:54🔗 Drew So, Julie, we're not really clear.

1:20:56🔗 Adam Let's try to sort this out. There's this guy. You've been into him for about two months.

1:21:00🔗 Caller Yes, we always hang out.

1:21:01🔗 Adam You hang out. You know, I've spent a lot of time. How many times a week do you see him?

1:21:05🔗 Caller It can range from like every other day to like just like on the weekends.

1:21:13🔗 Drew And you're physical every time you're together.

1:21:16🔗 Caller No. It's only happened like two or three times.

1:21:20🔗 Adam That's violence, by the way.

1:21:22🔗 Caller I'm trying to talk to my friends about this and they keep telling me about how guys like have like this whole different way of thinking and how like I can't think things.

1:21:32🔗 Adam Does he have a girlfriend?

1:21:32🔗 Caller I just don't understand it.

1:21:33🔗 Adam Is he seeing anybody?

1:21:35🔗 Caller No.

1:21:36🔗 Adam No. You sure he's free and clear?

1:21:37🔗 Caller I'm sure.

1:21:38🔗 Adam And what brought you two together in the first place?

1:21:41🔗 Caller A friend.

1:21:43🔗 Drew I just, it just doesn't fit.

1:21:44🔗 Adam He's, he, and you're becoming physical and you're holding on.

1:21:48🔗 Drew But not really. Three times they've kind of made out, basically, and they've sort of, you know, hooked up sort of.

1:21:53🔗 Caller A little bit more than that, but yeah.

1:21:55🔗 Adam Yeah, but you, you told him he wanted to go further and you said no, not, you know, unless.

1:22:00🔗 Caller Well, the first time we didn't have a condom, and then the second time, well, I'm a virgin, so.

1:22:07🔗 Adam All right.

1:22:08🔗 Drew Twenty-two.

1:22:08🔗 Adam Wow.

1:22:09🔗 Caller I'm kind of scared. I don't want to tell him that I am because I'm so old.

1:22:14🔗 Drew Yeah, you're misreading this guy, Julie, I really think. I really think.

1:22:19🔗 Adam All right. So why don't you just.

1:22:21🔗 Caller I don't know if I have the right to ask him, like.

1:22:23🔗 Adam Yes, you do. You have every right to ask him. You don't need the right to ask him.

1:22:27🔗 Drew You hang out regularly with him. You've only been physical three times in those encounters. He's always been sort of a holding back. There's nothing about him. He's not have a sort of religious orientation that would hold him back or a medical problem or drug use or something. It doesn't sound like normal 22 year old guy behavior.

1:22:43🔗 Caller Well, he's not 22. I'm 22.

1:22:45🔗 Drew How old is he?

1:22:46🔗 Caller He's 28.

1:22:47🔗 Drew 28. Oh. Even worse.

1:22:48🔗 Adam Yeah. Why don't you ask him? Ask him where he's stand. No. Well, listen. Here's the thing, everybody. Everyone acts like the question is going to change the answer. The answer is already determined. It's like saying, I don't want to affect my grade by asking the teacher how I did on my final. Well, he's already got the grade. It's sitting there. You just don't want to know because you don't feel like you knew many of the answers on the many of the questions on the test. That's what it is. And it's the same thing. It's like when people sort of know the answer and they do and as an answer, they don't want to hear and they don't want to hear. They don't want to ask the question. And then they blame the question. It's like, well, we're we're doing real good. And then I asked him what his feelings were. And then he freaked out. Whatever. No, if you're into someone, please, Dean, you're more man than all of us put together in this room. If Superman, for the love of Christ, if you're into somebody, you're into them. Them asking you is the best day of your life when you're into someone, absolutely, especially if it's two months of you guys playing footsie and then once in a while that chick you've just been pining for comes up and goes, listen, I have feelings for you. It's like, oh my God, skyrocket's going on.

1:23:55🔗 Drew Never happens.

1:23:56🔗 Adam Yeah, never happens. But the point is, is if it did, and I've run through the scenario many times in my head, it's never actually happened, but just preparing, always being prepared. Yeah, no, it's like, oh my God, you're back in high school. This is a dream come true.

1:24:10🔗 Dean Cain And conversely, if you're not, and they ask that question.

1:24:14🔗 Adam You're not anybody.

1:24:15🔗 Dean Cain There it is. The answer is right there.

1:24:16🔗 Adam You weren't going to be, and that's by the way, and ladies, listen up, when they start with the, you know, you and I have a special, but I don't want to ruin it with.

1:24:26🔗 Drew Men are not flexible. They're either on or off.

1:24:28🔗 Adam Right.

1:24:29🔗 Drew There's not an in-between switch with them. Women are much more flexible, move around a little bit.

1:24:33🔗 Adam That's why Chicken, Chicken be like, I went camping with Tammy. I went down on her. But anyway, we're cool, we're back to France. Yeah, me and Ted went camping, I blew him, but you know.

1:24:43🔗 Dean Cain Things are never the same.

1:24:46🔗 Drew And your heart's broken.

1:24:49🔗 Adam No, guys are just, yeah, they don't have that. Like I'm not gay, Ted's not gay, but we drank a couple lucky lagers and we looked into the fire and you know, we blew each other. Now we're back. Violence. It was an act of violence. Oral sex. Don't kid yourself. We'll take a quick break. Dean Cain in studio, everybody. And thank you, Clubhouse, name of his new show, CBS, Tuesday nights, 9 o'clock.

1:25:14🔗 Caller We'll be right back after this.

1:25:15🔗 Adam Let's watch this. Call Loveline.

1:25:17🔗 Caller Loveline 191.

1:25:20🔗 Adam You get addicted to after.

1:25:21🔗 It hurts when I pee.

1:25:22🔗 Adam That's pretty accurate. Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. Drew, please. Fond number 1-800-L-A-V-E-1-9-1, Dean Cain, everybody, in studio. Partially blessed. I've moved him down a little bit. He just, I'm not gonna talk about what we're talking about off the air, but he's, you know, he's not blessed anymore. It's just, you know, he's doing fine.

1:26:12🔗 Dean Cain We all have our thorns.

1:26:13🔗 Adam Yeah, he's fine. Not blessed, he's doing all right.

1:26:16🔗 Drew He's blessed, he's blessed.

1:26:18🔗 Adam Yeah, listen, he lands on his feet. That's the thing about Dean Cain. Lord, give it to the Lord. Take it away every once in a while. Take it away.

1:26:23🔗 Drew Just to keep it real.

1:26:25🔗 Adam Absolutely. He's doing good, just been downgraded a little. That's all. Still smack in the middle of Blessville, just not the mayor anymore. You know what I mean?

1:26:33🔗 Drew Certainly not in the cursed pit park.

1:26:36🔗 Adam Not near the curse, no, no, just blessed. Yeah, he's doing okay. He'll be fine. You know what I mean? He's resilient, this kid. He'll be back. He'll be back. Bones, you know, they man themselves.

1:26:48🔗 Drew Brittany wants to talk to you.

1:26:49🔗 Adam Brittany, yeah, we're gonna build up Dean Cain here, everybody. Helmet's not a chair, I gotta tell you that right now. Break it down now, Brittany. You're 18?

1:27:02🔗 Caller Yeah, I'm 18.

1:27:02🔗 Adam You wanna talk to Dean?

1:27:07🔗 Caller I feel like a dork, like a little twit, that's really excited, but I didn't mean to do that.

1:27:12🔗 Dean Cain So you sound very intelligent to me.

1:27:14🔗 Adam Mm-hmm.

1:27:15🔗 Caller I like that. Actually, what I wanted to ask is what influences you to pick your roles?

1:27:21🔗 Dean Cain Oh, wow, that is a really me question. Sometimes it's...

1:27:27🔗 Drew Playing baseball all day with your friends.

1:27:29🔗 Dean Cain Yeah, sometimes it's that. Sometimes it's, I need the cash. Cause that's my job. Sometimes it's a timing issue. There's a million things to it, and sometimes you're really lucky and you get to pick it because you like the project.

1:27:44🔗 Drew Are you culling through stuff?

1:27:46🔗 Dean Cain Yeah, I look through all kinds of stuff. I'm always seeing projects, but I like to work, so I'm looking to work, and I need a reason not to.

1:27:53🔗 Adam Sometimes your agent will tell you, like, this is good, this is bad.

1:27:56🔗 Drew Take this one, take that one.

1:27:57🔗 Dean Cain And then I have my unofficial advisors, my folks. But that's a lot of that, and then you have your gut, and my gut tells me I could play this and be good at it, or have fun doing this.

1:28:08🔗 Caller Well, like, what about the Scott Peterson role?

1:28:11🔗 Caller That's a horrible, like, for, just to play that, like, that's very brave of you to pick. What influenced you to pick that role?

1:28:18🔗 Dean Cain Well, actually, I originally had turned it down, and then they offered it to me again. More money. More money, yeah. And, yes. And then finally, which made it more appealing, and my father and I were talking, and my father's a director, and he said, you know, could you be good in this? And I said, actually, I could be actually very good in this.

1:28:40🔗 Drew Were you an acting in Princeton?

1:28:42🔗 Dean Cain Yeah, but we didn't exactly see eye to eye, the instructors and I. In fact, film class, I got, I think, a B- What'd you major in at Princeton? History.

1:28:50🔗 Drew History.

1:28:52🔗 Adam is good, right?

1:28:53🔗 Drew You guys are bad at Princeton, by the way.

1:28:55🔗 Dean Cain Yeah, I got an 86 in my first exam, C+.

1:28:59🔗 Adam Wow, that's a...

1:29:00🔗 Drew Everything's curved.

1:29:01🔗 Adam Wow.

1:29:02🔗 Dean Cain The wrong way.

1:29:03🔗 Adam Hey, Brittany.

1:29:04🔗 Caller Yeah, yeah.

1:29:05🔗 Adam Thanks for calling, baby doll.

1:29:09🔗 Caller Yeah, no, but you and, like, there's only like two older guys that I like and you're one of them, definitely.

1:29:13🔗 Dean Cain All right, I'll take that.

1:29:15🔗 Caller I hope it makes, like, your week or something, but 18 years, I still love you.

1:29:18🔗 Dean Cain I love that. That makes more than my week, trust me.

1:29:21🔗 Caller Okay.

1:29:22🔗 Adam All right, Brittany.

1:29:22🔗 Dean Cain Thank you, Brittany.

1:29:23🔗 Adam Thanks for killing them. Not blessed, anyway. Downgraded. Yeah. I do that same thing with my dad. I'll discuss topics, projects, roles, things like that. Oh, your dad? Yeah. Yeah. My dad, my dad usually just look up and go, what? You're a carpenter. What are you talking about? My dad had been on TV for a year. Please. Go put a deck on. Who are you kidding? Yeah. My dad's great. He's really, he's really showbiz father. Showbiz. I told him, I was talking about this the other night, I said to him, you know, CBS has come calling after Kilbourne quit. They're looking for a guy to replace Kilbourne. I don't have the gig, but you know, my name's on a short list. We're going to check it out. And he's like, so you'll be going over to CBS? You'll still be working over at Jimmy's though, right? Yeah. I'll still be writing on a competing. Of course. I'll be writing for a competing late night show. That's what we're doing. During the day, I'll be writing jokes for the other talk show that's on. And then about, well, what time's our show tape? 6.30? 5.45. I'll slide over here. Jump into make up. I'll be unprepared, of course. I was writing jokes for another show the entire day.

1:30:40🔗 Dean Cain Write bad jokes. And then you're really working for it.

1:30:44🔗 Adam Write that down.

1:30:45🔗 Drew Got it. Done. And done.

1:30:47🔗 Adam What's our other idea? Come on. Affirmative action. Affirmative action.

1:30:52🔗 Drew I thought you meant affirmative action.

1:30:53🔗 Adam Affirmative action.

1:30:54🔗 Dean Cain Marisol.

1:30:55🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:30:55🔗 Drew Six.

1:30:56🔗 Adam All right. We're going to line six. Let's talk to Tim, who's 21. Tim? Tim?

1:31:04🔗 Drew Sleeping?

1:31:05🔗 Adam Hard to tell. Been on hold for 32 minutes. Not long by Loveline standards.

1:31:09🔗 Dean Cain Not long.

1:31:10🔗 Drew No.

1:31:11🔗 Adam Delayed orgasm by pressing on perineum. Mm-hmm. Let's know if that's safe.

1:31:17🔗 Dean Cain Yep.

1:31:18🔗 Adam Tim?

1:31:19🔗 Caller At least that's what I tell people.

1:31:20🔗 Adam Dean knows it's safe.

1:31:22🔗 Drew It's not so much that it's delayed orgasm, but that it causes a retrograde ejaculation usually.

1:31:26🔗 Adam Yeah. You pee it out later, right? Yeah. So, what do you do? That's taint pressure, yes? And why? What's that? That actually physically blocks off the flow? I don't want to see any pictures.

1:31:38🔗 Dean Cain It's got a chart. It's got a chart.

1:31:39🔗 Adam There we go. So, what? Is there a flume that goes under the underside there?

1:31:47🔗 Drew No, it's more that you're just sort of directing it back.

1:31:51🔗 Adam All right.

1:31:51🔗 Drew I'll find it.

1:31:52🔗 Adam I'm going to keep moving forward. Addicted to porn. What do we need here?

1:31:55🔗 Drew That's...

1:31:57🔗 Adam All right. We're looking at a...

1:32:06🔗 Drew We're looking at a cutaway of the male anatomy here.

1:32:08🔗 Adam Eurethra comes down.

1:32:09🔗 Drew And this is the vesicles where it's all stored, the sperm, and it comes out here into the urethra.

1:32:13🔗 Adam Sperm's up in you. I thought it was in your sack.

1:32:15🔗 Drew No, no, no. Sperm's in the process. It's transported back here and stored.

1:32:19🔗 Adam Well, it starts here and goes up and goes back up.

1:32:20🔗 Drew Yeah, it gets stored.

1:32:21🔗 Adam Interesting.

1:32:22🔗 Drew And then it comes out that little tube right there. And so if you push here, it goes right back up.

1:32:26🔗 Adam It goes right back in. It goes in your bladder. So gay. Either you got sperm in there or you don't.

1:32:35🔗 Dean Cain Well, you don't have to close it off. You know. You don't have to close off. I mean.

1:32:40🔗 Adam What about if you just put a little pressure so it comes out like when you put your thumb over a garden hose?

1:32:44🔗 Drew Yeah, you get a spray.

1:32:48🔗 Adam Take something out. Take like a can off a fence. You know what I mean? Pow.

1:32:53🔗 Dean Cain Your aim is good.

1:32:54🔗 Adam That would be good if you could work that. You know, if you could feather that perineum just enough to get 8-12 feet. That's true. As a man of passion, surely that would come in handy.

1:33:04🔗 Drew This is where the epididymis or epididymitis, remember? Look at the picture. I'm not looking.

1:33:09🔗 Adam Because it's the radio. That's why.

1:33:11🔗 Drew It goes up and then it goes down.

1:33:13🔗 Adam All right. All right.

1:33:15🔗 Dean Cain See, you learn something new.

1:33:16🔗 Adam You do. And then you forget almost immediately because you drink when you get home to forget. We'll take a little break. Dean Cain in Studio Tonight Clubhouse in the new TV show. Oh, playing baseball all day with that, you know, ex big leaguers and guys throwing hard and really playing. You know, they want it to look realistic. So they're throwing. Dean's got the pine tar, taking his cuts up there and to make it look good, they just get up there and throw hard. And the good news is they probably stay away from the junk, you know, they just come down the pipe with it because the motion and everything looks good and you get the speed and the sound. Dean gets the timing down, takes a couple of takes and then pow, bingo, Dinger City. Yes, Drew?

1:33:55🔗 Drew Yes, Adam.

1:33:56🔗 Adam All right, we'll be right back after this.

1:33:59🔗 Caller Alright guys, here's the deal.

1:34:01🔗 Dean Cain You looking to hook up, sick of wasting time with the wrong person?

1:34:04🔗 Caller One call is all you need to make.

1:34:06🔗 Dean Cain Call the Dateline.

1:34:07🔗 Drew 877-889-DATE.

1:34:09🔗 Caller Call the Dateline. 1-800-Call-The-Pine.

1:34:37🔗 Adam Well everybody, what do you know? Where's the time go, Drew?

1:34:40🔗 Drew Good times.

1:34:41🔗 Adam Yeah. All right, Dean Cain, now back into the blessed category after another story I heard.

1:34:49🔗 Drew Very, very blessed.

1:34:50🔗 Adam Very, very, very blessed. Yes, Drew? Clubhouse, name of the new TV show on CBS, a very blessed network. Going to be Tuesday nights at nine o'clock with a big sneaky preview coming up this Sunday at nine o'clock. Dean, much success and mazel tov to you.

1:35:10🔗 Dean Cain Thank you, sir. Thank you very much.

1:35:11🔗 Adam Always a treat. And until next time, this is Adam Carolla for Dr. Drew saying mahalo. There is nothing better than urinating on wildlife. And women, this is a thrill you will never know.

1:35:25🔗 Caller This has been Loveline.

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