1:01🔗
Voiceover
Loveline is meant for an adult audience. Loveline may contain sexually-oriented content. Listener discretion is advised. This is Loveline.
1:16🔗
Adam
With Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew. Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1, Dr. Drew, Board Certified Physician, Dictionary Medicine Specialist. Oh, yeah.
1:37🔗
Adam
I'm getting it on. Well, I watched football today. I'll tell you what. You know, I'm just happy the football is on.
1:48🔗
Adam
I turned it on, and I went about my business. I didn't sit down and watch it. I didn't watch the early games. I just put on the set, and I went about my house business. Just feel it. And I just knowing that it was in the background.
2:01🔗
Adam
Yeah. You know what it's like? It's like a spritz of Febreze. I don't need to put my face at the end of the bottle. Just a few spritzes, and I'll walk through the room. I'll absorb it.
2:14🔗
Drew
However, at this point, it's the sense of the cooling weather, not the actual cooling weather. We've got to get the cool with the background.
2:22🔗
Adam
They're playing ball. That's the good news. It's the best highlights ever. Oh, really? You turn on the sports when you get home. Compound fractures and guys cartwheeling. They're going to have to make the field bigger. It's just getting crazy. Guys are getting too fast.
2:48🔗
Adam
For car racing, yeah. NASCAR had to do this. Stock car racing. Formula One had to do this. Restrictor plates and limiters and downforce and aerodynamics and stuff. Size of the engine. You just have to start doing stuff because cars will go 400 miles an hour and people will get killed. We got to start doing that with the black players. We need a black restrictor plate. They're too big. They're too fast. They're too scary. They're too aggressive. Pretty soon, people in the stands are going to start getting hurt when bodies like kickers start getting thrown like four, five rows back. The collisions are getting too powerful. Everything's just too big. We're going to have to make the field bigger or we're going to have to do what we do with NASCAR. Like we find some runner, some guy now. I mean, it used to be if a guy ran a 40 in the fours somewhere, four, seven, four, eight, oh, he had wheels. Now these guys are running four, two.
3:44🔗
Adam
Not 280, but the guys who run four, two, they had 225, 230. We're going to start putting sandbags on them. Yeah. You know what I mean?
3:53🔗
Adam
Yeah, well, I'm able to do a fat, well, whatever. You put it where you want. We're just telling you got to add 14 pounds. You strap it to your head, put it around your, put it in a vest, put it in your socks, lead liners in your shoes. Yeah, it's getting too crazy. The defensive lineman used to be these, you know, fat lumbering guys, you know, just these big sort of fire hydrant types that would stop at the middle. Now these guys are, now they're all just arms and thighs, and they're running the quarterbacks down. I mean, they're running them down. Quarterbacks out there running for their lives, they just run the guy down. That guy's 290, just sprinting him down, 6'8, pow. I'm telling you, Drew, just think NASCAR, think restrictor plate in NASCAR, and now think pro football.
4:35🔗
Adam
But anyway, just glad it's on. And then someone is watching football. Now, everyone I know is not from LA anymore, because everyone I know is in some way affiliated with show business. Everyone seems to be from Boston, the rest are from either New Jersey, New York, or Chicago. And then you're sprinkled in sort of Indiana Pittsburgh types. Everyone wants to know why there's no team in Los Angeles. The answer is you guys aren't rooting for them. I watch football every week with a bunch of guys. Your team's Pittsburgh, your team is the Patriots, your team's Dallas, your team's the Bears, your team's the Giants, wherever they're from. That's everyone's team. And then the rest of LA are not interested in sports.
5:22🔗
Adam
Yeah, you got the guys that are interested in sports, and then you got the rest of LA which they don't even... I mean, there's a language barrier. They're not so... Football is... Yeah, you kick the ball. Soccer. Soccer. Yeah, and I realize, you know, we were talking about it last week, LA is just sort of... Like, what percentage of people live in LA have family outside of LA? It's got to be 90%. I mean, it's really 90% of the people that live in LA any holiday that comes around, first off, just sending money, whether it's south of the border, north of the border, just sending money out of town, and then just getting in the car, getting a plane takeoff. As soon as there's a three-day weekend power, the whole town clears out. We can't have a football team. This is no one's town. And by the way, for all the guys I work with, they don't need LA to have a football team. They've been here for 14 years, but they're huge Patriot fans.
6:20🔗
Adam
LA by the way, has got to be one of the few towns where you could just, you would just happily walk around in a Patriots or Pittsburgh Steelers jersey and wouldn't get an ounce of grief. There's no possible way you could go out to New England and do that for Rams jersey.
6:41🔗
Adam
Yeah. Yeah, just realize, LA can't have a team because it's not comprised of people. No one's from here anymore.
6:49🔗
Adam
Yeah. Yeah. It's more the porta potty. Yeah, that's weird. We ought to really change melting pot to porta potty. I think you're right. Remember the United States is the melting pot, but this is the porta pot. All right. Let's get to the phones. Yes, Drew? Yeah. Jim? Yes? You're 21? Yes, I am. All right. What's up?
7:18🔗
Last month...
7:42🔗
Adam
God forbid I have a drink of water. Once in a blue moon, I try to actually get a sip of water during the show. So I thought, Ena, yeah, you're 18. What's up? And I'll say, what's up? And then I'll reach for my glass and start drinking water. By the way, is there some mechanism that when this thing touches my lips, dead air? Like once in a while, I think, can you have a drink of water? Of course you can have a drink of water. You got Drew sitting here. You've just asked the caller a question. Take a sip of water. Uh oh. Nothing. It's like, can the pilot take a piss? We're 50,000 feet above the ground. The thing's on cruise control and it's on automatic pilot. There's not a cloud in the sky. Can I get up? It's like, I feel like I undo the seatbelt, turn around, start walking. The plane just starts spiraling down, going in the ground. Can't take a piss? Jesus Christ. Come on, Drew, you see the thing. I blame you. I blame Enid.
8:36🔗
Yeah. So my story is that I was dating this guy for a year and a half. We were perfectly fine for like six months, and then something just went wrong, and we just started fighting a lot. So we decided to take a break, and so we broke up like two months ago, and we decided just to be together and see how things would go. And we still ended up fighting, nothing changed, so he told me like just a little while ago that he just wanted to be friends, and he lost interest in me. So he then later told me that the truth about that was that he, I told him before that it just seemed to me that every time he would have sex, he'd be upset afterwards, and then we would have sex.
9:24🔗
I don't know what to do anymore.
9:31🔗
Drew
That's it. This one's over. I want to be friends is I want to get out of this without hurting your feelings. And then he'll magically disappear. And if you have him around, you'll be fighting and or having sex, neither of which will be pleasant for you.
9:43🔗
Adam
Nina. Yeah. Yeah. Here we go. Here we go, Miss Cadence. I want you to listen to what I'm going to do, and I want you to apply the same principle to this guy. You ready? All right. Next caller.
10:05🔗
Caller
Well, kind of me and this boy are friends with benefits, and I'm wondering like where this is all going because his best friend is...
10:15🔗
Drew
Nowhere. Nowhere. You're friends with benefits. He isn't going to take it anywhere. What made you think that friends with benefit ever goes anywhere?
10:45🔗
Caller
Well, he said that he wanted to get together with me after he dumped his girlfriend, but you know, he hasn't done that or anything yet, so...
11:04🔗
Adam
Hold on, hold on, I made my statement. He said he wanted to get together with me as soon as he broke up with his girlfriend.
11:53🔗
Caller
Well, no. I'm her best friend, but she's never been like that close of a friend to me.
12:01🔗
Adam
I don't know. And by the way, using that criteria, who knows whose best friend I am, who doesn't know I'm their best friend, and vice versa. I could have some celebrity best friends.
12:25🔗
Drew
I think you actually have to know the people for them to think that they're your best friend. You just don't have to think it back. But Sarah.
12:54🔗
Drew
He's not interested in you as a person. He's just getting away with whatever he can get away with. I'm really concerned about how you have friendships, how you maintain your friendships. That's really scary to me, Sarah.
13:05🔗
But I really care about him.
13:26🔗
Caller
Any girlfriends? Actually, me, him, and her, we're going to have a threesome one. But I kind of chickened out.
13:51🔗
Adam
He doesn't want anything to do with you? Yeah, and now you want everything to do with every guy. Sarah?
14:04🔗
Drew
But by the way, before you do that, before dad left, I'm sure he left an imprint, a footprint.
14:28🔗
Adam
Well, listen, you. Okay, yeah, except for you, but you're 14 and you're off to a nice start.
14:38🔗
Drew
Maybe not. She may not have that. I don't get that gene from her. I don't get the feeling from her.
14:44🔗
Adam
Sarah, please, you're going to be pregnant at 15 and then just be like the rest of your idiot family. Don't you want better for yourself? Get up, go to college somewhere, have a good life. You know those TV shows you watch where like Heather Locklear is running the airport and some other hot chicks and attorney? Don't you want to be like that? You do, right? All right. Well, quit worrying about the kissing potion and start getting your grades up. You do?
15:17🔗
Adam
She just means she's high when she looks at her report card. Okay, okay. Listen, Sarah, you understand I'm a genius, right? That's a resounding yes. Here's what you need to do. Forget about this guy. Don't worry about guys so much. I know your dad left you. He banned you. And now there's major, major issues around guys. That's where all the pressure comes from. Give yourself a break with that. Focus on your friends. Get some female friends. Do stuff in school and then go off to college somewhere. Please don't get pregnant. Friends are where you do care about somebody.
15:51🔗
Drew
You're going to be able to get married. You're going to be able to get married. You're going to be able to get married. You're going to be able to get married.
16:01🔗
Adam
You're going to be able to get married. You're going to be able to get married. You're going to be able to get married. You're going to be able to get married. You're going to be able to get married. You're going to be able to get married. What's going on? I said, Well, Kilbourne's gone, and he's on after Letterman, and they've been talking to me about maybe replacing him. And he said, So you still stay with Jimmy though, right? No. Now I would actually do another show. Oh, really? Yeah, it's on after Letterman. So what time is that? It's at 1230 at night. That could have been his next question. So he said, I said, well, it's on at 1230 at night. He went, wow, middle of the night. Yeah, dad. By the way, there's only several million guys on the planet like to get that slot. It's like I'm doing graveyard. I'm doing overnights.
17:59🔗
Adam
By the way, I know in his mind, the assumption was you'd actually be broadcasting at 1230 at night. Oh, no. In his mind. He did work that one out. When did you film it? He worked, I know he understands that concept because the week I was co-hosting on Kimmel, we were eating lunch at two in the afternoon and I said, well, tonight's my last night of co-hosting. It's Friday. Have you caught any of the week up until now? No, no, I didn't catch it. Have you seen the show before? I've been on for eight months at this point. No, Kimmel's show had been on for about eight months. He had not seen it.
18:28🔗
Adam
He had not seen it. Yeah, that was because it was 9-11. And then he said, so what time's the show tape? About two o'clock? I said, Dad, it's 2-0-3 right now. We're at the spaghetti factory. They're not taping. No. It's called Jimmy Kimmel Live. And back then it was live too, by the way. Show business. It's in my blood. All right, let's get to the phone.
18:57🔗
Adam
Now, a lot of people would say, well, how can you say these things about your father, surely as a radio?
19:08🔗
Yeah?
19:12🔗
Caller
Well, like, my boyfriend and I, when we used to have sex, it used to last, like, a really long time, like, an hour maybe. And now it's just, like, not even five minutes, and I don't know what it is.
19:39🔗
Caller
Well, yeah. I have, well, if he's only going to be having sex with me for, like, five minutes, it's not going to do it for me.
19:53🔗
Adam
Our callers are so goddamn dumb, I can't even track them for proper reenactment. I know. It's really, it's just like be watching a Japanese game show and say, just say what they said over the last five minutes. Like, I don't speak that language. I don't know what they were saying.
20:12🔗
Adam
Oh, I used to speak, well, I spoke young TARD. And I spoke teenage TARD. And now I speak young adult TARD. And Jess, she's teenage TARD. Jess?
20:26🔗
Drew
I'll ask the question again. During that hour, would he have more than one orgasm? No. Would he have one?
20:55🔗
Caller
Well, he knows that he's not lasting as long, but he doesn't know what the problem would be. I mean, could it be the antidepressants he's on? But even after he started taking them, I mean, there was no problem.
21:07🔗
Drew
No, he probably was on an antidepressant before there was suppressing his ejaculation and now he's changed medicines maybe to one that isn't so, it's more likely to bring out his natural rhythm.
21:37🔗
Adam
Yeah. All right. Look, I don't know what, all right. Yeah, there's plenty of chemicals he's putting in his body that have something to do with this. There's also...
21:55🔗
Adam
Jess, sorry. Jess, are you one of the first girls he's been with? The first girl. I got that vibe. How old is he? 21? Wow. You know what's weird? I got the strong vibe that she was the first girl. Here's what it is. He's worked his rhythm out.
22:18🔗
Adam
I mean, he couldn't do it. He'd only get one off in an hour because he was spazzing. He doesn't, I mean, he's a 21-year-old guy who'd never been with a woman, so he hadn't worked it out, and now he's worked it out.
22:39🔗
Drew
So they got to do the usual thing, is he has to ejaculate beforehand or maybe try more than once together.
22:48🔗
Adam
Do you have a sister? How about your mom? Let's see. I'll do the math. Even better, actually, that he doesn't like oral.
23:18🔗
Caller
Because we've been having a lot of fights and he keeps telling me that he wants to take a break and I don't know.
23:26🔗
Drew
That may be why in five minutes he may be just sort of getting it over with and not putting out his best effort.
23:44🔗
Adam
Yeah. I mean, by the way, the performance. Oh my God. What guys do? I mean, imagine, especially these guys, they've been married for 25 years and all of a sudden they break up and they get their trophy wife or they start dating their secretary or something. Oh my God, it goes from like, I can't perform oral and I can only do it while I'm sitting up with the pillow on my back watching television to Marathon 69. It's amazing what guys can do properly motivated.
24:19🔗
Adam
And he's two and a half years in. He got in when he was 18 or 19. It was his first chick. He's telling her he's coming to the end. Yeah, we may be at the end.
24:36🔗
Drew
No, no, this is long past the end. He's been very clear. I went out, I'm done, I'm done, I'm done. She's clinging to him. It's not good for her or him.
24:47🔗
Drew
By the way, the guy's a marijuana addict and he's like, ah, whatever, let's have that pot.
24:54🔗
Drew
No, no, but not even that. It's like, as long as I'm high, as long as I'm smoking pot, she'll tire eventually.
25:05🔗
Adam
Kind of nice. All right, we'll take a quick break. When we come back, Drew. Had an abortion, the guy's upset, she's seeing someone new.
25:17🔗
Loveline.
25:27🔗
Law enforcement is cracking down from coast to coast.
25:29🔗
No matter where you are, if you drive under the influence, you will be arrested. You drink and drive, you lose.
25:51🔗
Adam
Hey, everybody, it's Loveline, I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. All right, well, we had a mild summer, but now it's kicking us in the nuts.
26:07🔗
Adam
Yeah. And what I don't like about the heat is the wildlife springs to life. Spring to ants just start going crazy. Like everything starts going crazy. Everything hits the streets. And people start hanging out and going nuts. And I got ants, got like crazy ants. I had ants in my microwave tonight. And, you know, there's a certain, there's certain places they're supposed to be like ant free. Like it's nothing holy kind of thing, you know? And microwave ants in the microwave. I don't know how you get in to the microwave. If you're an ant, that goddamn thing is sealed. And then I decided, well, I was going to heat some Indian food up. And I thought, man, screw them. I'm just turning the thing on. Didn't seem to have any effect on them at all.
26:55🔗
Adam
Yeah. Doesn't seem to bother them. I don't think there's enough of them to be bothered by the microwaves.
27:12🔗
Adam
What are we going to do with these ants? We got to do something with these ants. What's up? What do they want? Someone's got to negotiate with these ants.
27:19🔗
Drew
I thought we built our house on some sort of ant burial ground or something. Some sort of, you know, sacred territory. They clearly intent on moving us out.
27:26🔗
Adam
It's just, there seems to be no possible way to eradicate ants and there's no space that they cannot permeate.
27:37🔗
Adam
I have ants in my liver. They've gotten that far into me. They're in places where there's no food. I'm watching TV, it's crawling on my head, you know. What's going on? We gotta do something with these ants. And you know, when you're flying in the, like when you're in the airplane, and here's the whole thing. No one wants to spray poison everywhere and dump poison everywhere. It never really seems to work. And then you start spraying it, start spraying the crap everywhere and you're spraying it all, you know, it's in the kitchen, it's all over the food and the glasses and everything, the animals get into it. So here's the whole thing. Then you fly and you start looking through that SkyMall catalog. And there they have like ultrasonic stuff and you take this thing and you plug it in and it shows a picture. It's a drawing of like roaches and termites and gophers just sprinting away from the sound. Sound is illustrated by making these sort of half circles that get bigger and emanate from one spot, but they're hauling ass the other direction. Can't we work something out? I mean, I guess the deal is if you can handle a minute in the microwave next to Adam's Indian food, there's really nothing where it's gonna run off a couple of AAA batteries that you're gonna hang around your neck that's gonna work. There's not enough nervous system in these beasts to work, but can't someone come up with some kind of ultrasonic something that just makes them go the other direction?
29:05🔗
Drew
You know, they have these things now that are used for humans. They're gonna use the shields to repel people like the way we use tear gas.
29:23🔗
Adam
Wait a minute. I think when George Clinton came in here, the godfather of funk, I think he had that.
29:42🔗
Adam
How do we know he wasn't working with the military and he just never said anything? You can't talk about those kinds of experiments.
29:48🔗
Drew
Indeed, it could be sort of shrouded in the- Yeah, just sort of make it seem like it's BO.
29:53🔗
Adam
It is true because I did get close to him. My eyes started tearing up. I had to turn. I had to avert my gaze.
30:02🔗
Adam
I had to duck and cover. All right. Now, let's work on that with the ants. I just want something I can plug. Man, how much would you pay, Drew? Just something you plug in and no mice, no ants, no roaches, no spiders, just spiders everywhere. Spiders going nuts.
30:26🔗
Adam
Everyone gives that speech. Oh, the spiders, they eat the bad- What? What? They do nothing. All they do is sit on my ceiling and give me the stink eyes. They have like 70 eyes and they'll give me the stink eye. Go eat something. What do you eat, by the way? Once in a while, they go outside and they get a moth or something, but what's inside the house that they're noshing on? No? What do they eat inside the house?
30:58🔗
Yeah.
31:06🔗
Caller
Well, it's kind of a strange story. I slept with this guy. It was my first time ever sleeping with anybody. Well, obviously I had an abortion. And now I started kind of seeing this other guy. And I'm like, I'm not going to sleep with him.
31:34🔗
Drew
Wait a second. Either CT is really healthy or really screwed up. I can't quite decide yet.
31:41🔗
Drew
Well, here's the deal. You managed to maintain your virginity till 18. You slept with some guy you genuinely like, but you know you're not gonna have a relationship with.
31:51🔗
Drew
He doesn't reciprocate, and you're being realistic about that, right? You're supposed to have another boyfriend if that's what you want.
31:59🔗
Caller
That's not weird at all. Like, I love these guys to death, and I don't want to, like, disrespect them in any way or...
32:12🔗
Caller
No, I mean, like, they're... Like, I love who they are, and I love them as people, and I love being friends with them and hanging out with them. The guy...
32:36🔗
Drew
No, so he's going to be relieved. He's going to know you're kind of in, and he's going to be relieved when you actually have a boyfriend.
32:50🔗
Caller
Oh, I don't... We don't want to sleep with each other. It's more like a friend thing now.
33:35🔗
Drew
Well, not obviously. Not friends. Not if I'm just a friend of his. You wouldn't treat a friend obviously like that. It's not obvious at all if you're just a friend.
33:42🔗
Adam
You're in love with the guy. No, no. But look, no, no, no. Yes, it is. Who are you kidding?
33:58🔗
Drew
It's okay. It's all right. Whatever. It's all right. But you need to move on and have a real relationship.
34:09🔗
Adam
Here's the problem. Drew, go back to that place where you worried so much about what someone who doesn't care cares about. You know what I mean? And that's what it is. It's like, oh, you want, you know, like, oh, dread, dread, dread, dread.
34:35🔗
Adam
Oh, the humanity. Now, here, here's the thing. You are pining for this person in a way. Yeah.
34:47🔗
Adam
I mean, you can be completely realistic and understand that this person does, you know, it's unrequited love. He's not interested or her or whoever's not interested in you in the way you're interested in them and still have deep feelings for them. It's hard to shut those things down.
35:01🔗
Drew
I think for the most part, women deal better with that than men. They convince themselves out of it in some more flexible way.
35:25🔗
Adam
I don't know if Chris is. I hear... Okay, buddy. Come on. Give me a warm-up. So, okay. You have feelings. They don't reciprocate the feelings. And then you're worried about how they're going to feel about you doing stuff because in the back of your mind, there's this... It's like, ah, you got a lottery ticket chance. And you're not going to throw the lottery ticket away before they call the numbers. Even though we're saying to you, it's one in a billion, throw it away and move on.
35:51🔗
Drew
Not only that, but there is a little bit of a perceptual distortion, which is, I'm thinking so much about this guy. He's everything. I must... Something must come... I must figure on his radar too.
36:05🔗
Adam
No, because every goddamn movie that's on talks about destiny and about things that were meant to be and love at first sight and soulmates and all that nonsense, it makes you think you can want it bad enough for the two of you.
36:37🔗
Drew
That's the comedy of... That is, what was God thinking about? He arranged all the relationships like that, and he made the motivational priorities of men and women at their most different during primary productive years.
37:07🔗
Well, I've been taking Vicodin for about the last year or so, and recently in the last six months, I realized that my sex drive is just about zero.
37:19🔗
Drew
They also can screw with your period, too. You can lose your periods and stuff. You have that happening yet?
37:22🔗
Yeah, actually, there's the last couple weeks. That's funny.
37:32🔗
A little less than that.
37:41🔗
Drew
I had one take 100. My average, by the time Doreen gets to me, she'll be taking 30 to 50.
37:57🔗
Depends on the milligrams. If they're, you know, 500, it takes about 10 to 15.
38:06🔗
On the street. I have a source.
38:12🔗
I said I have a source.
38:13🔗
Adam
Oh, you have a source. Yes. Drew, how, by the way, hold on a second. How does this work with the drug companies? I mean, speak candidly, please. I don't know what percentage of Vicodin are given to people that don't really need Vicodin. I mean, a lot through prescription and then just when you have, you know, like let's put it this way. You create a product. That product is going to go to a person after they have an ankle surgery or dental or orthosurgery or something like that. And they're going to take, a guy like me, I take four a year for whatever, various whatever. Someone like this is eating 30 a day or 25 a day or 50 a day, every day. I mean, you get a few of these drug garbage disposals going and the product, I mean, think how much product is being moved, you know? Obviously, they're aware of it. Are they aware of it like cigarette companies are aware of what they do? So they put the do not smoke on the package and then just happily sell them away to the?
39:17🔗
Drew
Yeah, they are not involved in what happens with their product. They're just involved in distributing it as the market demands.
39:40🔗
Adam
They can't control it any better than what they're doing? I don't understand. It goes to pharmacies? Does it get stolen from pharmacies?
40:07🔗
Adam
Score some samples, dude. Well, I say samples. I mean like 30 samples of five and they should be free.
40:13🔗
Drew
That's why you only take four if I can prescribe a year. The rest of the time it's just samples.
40:25🔗
Drew
I think it's like Pharmasear. I don't want to say it because I don't know who did it, but somebody like not a usual company.
40:30🔗
Adam
Okay, they make them. They make millions of tablets a year. They're allocated this going, obviously they can't just start throwing them around.
40:41🔗
Drew
But so they get them, they ship them over here. You don't need prescriptions in a lot of parts of the world.
40:45🔗
Adam
All right. I just can't believe they couldn't control. If they controlled it, it would mean shipping half the product.
40:54🔗
Drew
How about them not worrying so much about controlling, just contributing to the treatment process? Because the addicts will find the drug. Listen, I'd rather think vicariously than shoot stuff.
41:05🔗
Adam
All right. Well, it's just the idea that people are taking 40, 50 a day. Where are you getting all this? It's a pharmaceutical. I don't know. I just I'm naïve. I thought you had to go to a doctor or a pharmacist.
41:18🔗
Drew
Well, they do. You say the right. Doctors are being threatened with legal action, not just lawsuits, criminal action, if they don't prescribe enough pain pills.
41:27🔗
Adam
We'll take ourselves a little break. We'll be right back after this. Oh, yeah, get it on.
42:02🔗
Adam
Yeah, it's Loveline. That's my partner, Dr. Drew. You ready to hop back on the phones and help America?
42:16🔗
Adam
Let's break it down. All right. Here we go. Kendall on line five. What's happening, baby doll? Twenty-five years of age.
42:26🔗
Yes. Well, I'm having some problems in my relationships and it's been going on for quite a long time. And I'm wondering if it could be related to a personality disorder.
42:39🔗
Well, basically, I date two types of men. I'm a student and I've dated men that are my age and in college. And those relationships never work out because I tend to be extremely demanding and overbearing and they run away screaming relatively quickly. And I never really care about them or enjoy the relationship very much. And then, I'm sorry. And then I date older men, 40 to 45 and fall madly in love with them. And of course, the feelings are not reciprocated. They're just in a different place in their life. And I don't know what's causing it or what is...
43:23🔗
Yeah. Not junior college, actually. I'm mastering at UCLA. So anyway, these guys are all very successful and intelligent, but the relationships are just completely dysfunctional.
43:41🔗
I was abandoned by my father.
43:43🔗
Drew
So you're reenacting that trauma and character disorders for which abandonment is a core issue. Yes, or the things, what I call Cluster B personality disorders, like borderline personality disorder. One thing about borderlines is their relationships are overly intense and can't be really maintained. Intimacy is an extremely dangerous place for you. A lot of chaos in your relationships and a lot of difficulty sustaining relationships.
44:19🔗
It's amazing.
44:22🔗
Yes.
44:26🔗
Drew
How about that? Because you're locked into this reenactment trauma stuff where you're either-
44:32🔗
I've tried therapy. I've gone to two therapists. One I ended up dating and the other one-
44:37🔗
Drew
That's a bad sign. What a dog. That is a bad sign. That's not only not having gone to therapy, that's making things worse. The other, if you stayed with for less than eight years, you didn't go. This is not something that's going to go away quickly.
44:52🔗
Adam
Yeah. I was just trying to think these poor guys that are dating her in college. College guys just have nothing to offer. I'm trying to think of what college guys have to offer. I thought really good-looking college guys will be fine. And then you're sort of crazy, atypical personality guys. The guys have started a business and are sort of successful and still going to college. These guys are DJing at some club or something like that. But your general college guy, you just got nothing.
45:26🔗
Adam
You got nothing. I mean, I was just sort of thinking about being 21, 22, just not even going to college, just driving a piece of ass.
45:38🔗
Adam
How dare you? No, I'll tell you why you don't. Because in college, at least there's chicks. Maybe that went nothing to do with you. But just through proximity, you're going to get something. You know, your 21 year old guy swinging a hammer, cleaning a carpet. You just work with a bunch of guys from Guatemala. Now you're nothing. And you go out to some bar on the weekend and it's like, yeah, that's your piece of ass pickup truck. Oh, how many roommates do you have? What about dental insurance? You don't know. You got nothing. There's nothing you're bringing. It's horrible. Yeah. This is why I'm mad at Dr. Phil's kid.
46:15🔗
Adam
Driving a Ferrari. Remember when he told us, I said, what kind of car? He told me what kind of car he drove in college. 355 Ferrari. I almost strangled the guy. Yeah. Writing books. Writing books with the same title as dad's book is, but just replacing adult with teen. Really? Now he's hosting a TV show. Drew seething. Seething.
46:44🔗
Adam
Yeah. All that boom tang in the Ferraris. Chris, could you imagine driving a Ferrari, having chicks up the wazoo and money coming out of your ears?
46:57🔗
Drew
But talking about stuff you really don't know what you're talking about and trying to represent yourself.
47:02🔗
Drew
Hey, listen, let me tell you something. I'm going to finish with Kendall because we've got to go to break, but the deal is do not go to a therapist you're attracted to or you like. It's going to be an unpleasant, uncomfortable experience for you. And that's what needs to be worked through.
47:20🔗
Adam
Diane. Diane. Diane. Ah, boyfriend of five years has no sex drive. It's on testosterone.
47:35🔗
One call is all you need to make.
47:53🔗
Experience the Axe Effect.
48:15🔗
Adam
Experience the Axe Effect. The Love Between The Hosts Hey, everybody, it's the Loveline. Phone number, 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. All right, there, Drew, what's up, buddy?
48:27🔗
Adam
Got to get it on now. All right, all right, let's go. Let's break it down. I like a nice home improvement question tonight. How about it? Who's got a home improvement question? And listen, phone screener Brian, I don't want any chicken ass calls about wax buildup or anything. I want a goddamn home improvement question.
48:50🔗
Drew
Yeah, that's a good one. I have a question. I have a question. I have a hillside there. If I were going to try to create a pad, like a dirt, you know what I mean? Like another level there.
49:07🔗
Adam
Diane? Drew's been hypothetically building on his hillside for five years now. Diane, I keep telling him, just go ahead and do it, but he won't do it.
49:23🔗
Adam
I'll tell you the problem with Drew is his things cost money, so he can't move. He's paralyzed. He wants to do stuff and then he realizes, oh, what do you mean? Material labor, that costs money? Oh, wow.
49:38🔗
Caller
I wanted to ask the doctor about testosterone constantly working out, taking a bunch of supplements, how it affects the sex drive, and the attitude.
50:27🔗
Drew
Some have a little more androgenic effects, some have a little more anabolic effects, but testosterone-
50:47🔗
Drew
They're these little, you know, I don't know how they decide which mix they want to get in there, but obviously androgenic will build muscle, but some of them build mass in addition to muscle, you know?
50:59🔗
Drew
But it's all gonna give him strokes and heart attacks and liver disease, and kidney disease.
51:03🔗
Adam
And by the way, you know, people, women constantly, or men or whoever, constantly women complain about, oh, look at her, she's got the boob job. She's got, what about the guys that are on the juice for us poor guys when we hit the beach? These guys got veins coming out of their calves and foreheads and stuff.
51:22🔗
Drew
Yeah, just look around those. How many of those guys that were Mr. Olympias and things, Arnold may be an exception, they don't seem to be around at 50 and 60. A lot of them just vanish.
51:37🔗
Adam
No, that's AIDS. That's AIDS. Yeah, and by the way, go to the gym. You got guys in there that would have won Mr. Olympia in like 1965.
51:54🔗
Adam
No, no, no, listen to me. Here's my point is, I said go to the gym today. You see guys who would have won Mr. Olympia in 1965.
52:03🔗
Drew
What I'm saying, amongst those guys, even those who aren't taking the juice could have taken it down. Those with the juice, forget it.
52:19🔗
Adam
Yeah, well, we're not on the, but when it comes to attracting the opposite sex, we should get some credit for not being on the juice.
52:31🔗
Adam
Yeah, we're all all natural, ladies. Yeah, I didn't just get these love handles. You know, it's just born with love handles. You gotta work at it.
52:41🔗
Adam
Yeah, Rachel? You're 18? What's happening? You know what's weird? Steroids never really helped boxing that much. The guys on the juice doesn't really do anything for them. I don't know what it is. There's too much rhythm involved with it or too much speed or too much something. It's just no one has really figured it out right.
53:11🔗
Adam
No, no, I think they're looking for an edge in a competitive arena. It just doesn't seem to do them.
53:21🔗
Adam
Yeah, and maybe it would one day in boxing, but it just doesn't seem to do it. I mean, you know, the last guy who got tossed out for being on the juice, I can't remember his name, but he lost a couple of years ago to De La Hoya. He got knocked out by De La Hoya. Then he got suspended for a year for being on the juice. So you look great. You get knocked out by the guys not on the juice.
53:55🔗
Caller
Um, I have a question. I recently, I've been having sex with my boyfriend for probably three months or something. Mm-hmm. And recently, it's starting to hurt me. Mm-hmm.
54:32🔗
Drew
Well, that is usually, as much as anything, that tends to be an anxiety symptom, a muscular contraction that causes that.
54:41🔗
Drew
Lubrication has something to do with it sometimes. Is that a problem? What do you think she's thinking?
54:49🔗
Adam
I think she's thinking like a good multi-grade from so far apart. I mean, are you as moist as you normally are or were these days?
54:59🔗
Caller
I'm the same. What I was thinking originally, because we've talked about it, and he said originally, at the beginning, he was still nervous because it was his first time with anyone. So he wasn't fully hard the first month or so, but then recently he started getting harder when we were doing it.
55:23🔗
Adam
Wait a minute. And by the way, I imagine when you're not fully erect, and you're trying to have sex.
55:30🔗
Adam
You ever have the drawstring pull out of your sweatpants and try to fish it back through? That's kind of what that... It's the same motions, like a horrible... It's like a bad dream. It's like running insane, trying to fish your penis through that small opening. It's bending. You can only get a little bit in at a time. Use your fingers like stuff.
56:19🔗
Adam
Yeah, especially when you start, I would start with the middle of the penis. Stuff it in, taco it, fold it in half, shove it in. And I would use like, yeah, once in a while I'd use like one of those shoe horses with the shoe horns with the horse's head on it.
56:39🔗
Yeah, of course.
56:50🔗
Drew
Rachel, is there anything else going on? Are you nervous? Is the relationship going okay? Yeah, it's fine. You want any medication? Anything else changed?
57:52🔗
Caller
I'm taking ortho-tri-shyclin-low birth pills and I ran out and I need to start a new packet tomorrow. And I want to know if it made a difference if I started taking Bethigen instead.
58:10🔗
Does it matter if I take your...
58:12🔗
Drew
I'd have to go look up Bethigen. I mean, which one? What's your first pill? Your current pill?
58:24🔗
Drew
Yeah, I would say try something. Bethigen is probably a low dose, just a monocyclic pill. I gotta look it up to tell you exactly what it is.
58:32🔗
Drew
No, I don't think so. But, no, yes, it would make a big difference, so don't do that. Do not take other people's medication, even birth control pills. And by the way, how hard is it to call a doctor and get a prescription tomorrow?
58:47🔗
Adam
I was going to say, you shouldn't take other people's meds unless it has that picture of the martini glass tilted over and then the bar is dry. That means no drinking and then that means game on.
58:57🔗
Adam
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I like the sleepy one too. I'm attracted like the two labels I like are the no boozing one and then the sleepy eyed one. Oh, oh, that guy's falling asleep. That could be me. I could be falling asleep. I gotta get on.
59:13🔗
Drew
Can't have that. But Anna, why can't you call a doctor in the morning and get a prescription? I gotta ask her. Come on.
59:19🔗
Drew
I gotta know what the problem is with that. Anna, why can't you call a doctor and get a prescription first thing in the morning? Okay. Why couldn't you do that?
59:26🔗
Caller
Well, because I don't have money to go get it in hers, because she's pregnant now, so they're free. And I was just going to start taking hers tomorrow.
59:33🔗
Drew
Well, then check with your doctor and see if they mind that. And maybe they'll have samples for you at the doctor's office and give them to you for free.
59:48🔗
She had these extra.
59:53🔗
Adam
And okay. Yeah. Listen, everybody. We got to. You're worth it. You got to go see the doctor.
1:00:09🔗
Drew
And then or ask if he or she minds you switching to this desigen. I doubt they'll have you do that. And then this planned parenthood.
1:00:24🔗
I was just wondering, can you have a relationship without being physical or sexually attracted to a person?
1:00:50🔗
Well, okay, I've been dating this guy for two and a half years.
1:00:53🔗
Caller
And when we first started dating, I, like, he kind of gave me the ultimate, like, good friend to me, you know?
1:01:01🔗
He kind of gave me the ultimate on either we date or we're never going to see each other again. So I was like, I can't let him go. So I started dating him and stuff and we had fun. And last week I went on vacation and I cheated on him to a guy that I thought was attracted. And like since I came back, I told him, you know, and he was mad at first and then he forgave me. And like it makes me feel horrible, you know, because he still wants to work things out and I'm just like.
1:01:37🔗
No. It was pretty close, but no.
1:01:52🔗
Adam
You're such a saint. Yeah. You know, you got to, let's just look at honesty for a second and let's just look at this sort of righteous thing that everyone has. You're such a righteous person. You're such an honest person, such a forthright person that you'll go ahead and blow a guy in Cancun and then come back and tell your boyfriend all about it. If you were such an honest person, you wouldn't be blowing the guy. It's not the same person.
1:02:20🔗
Drew
And really, by the way, wouldn't the honest move to be to come back and immediately break up with your boyfriend to go, look, this relationship is not working. To be honest with you, I can't go on. That's honest.
1:02:29🔗
Adam
I'm going to take it a step further. You're actually bad, bad, and bad, which is here's the way people look at it, which is, well, I did a bad thing by having oral with this stranger on vacation, but I then did a good thing by being honest with my with my partner. So it's a wash. It's a push. No, here's what it is. You did a bad thing by blowing the stranger. You did another bad thing by have then going in spilling the details to your partner. And then thirdly, you're walking around with your head held high, claiming you're a righteous person, which is actually a third bad thing. It just it's like Clinton, you know. Yeah, he gets sucked off by a junior secretary and then has a he's so proud.
1:03:21🔗
Adam
Yeah, he rapes an intern with a Havana and then goes in meets with his has meets with the spiritual folks. It goes to church and they work it out. Yeah, right. Please. Like I said, the guy who's actually spiritual or the person that actually cares doesn't do the raping with the cigar in the first place.
1:03:48🔗
Adam
Now you have you have cheater and sociopath whereas before he just had cheater. See what I'm saying?
1:03:57🔗
Drew
Let's refine this even further. Sometimes, people don't realize how unhappy they are or how trapped or whatever their relationship isn't working and when they cheat, that should be their message. That things absolutely categorically are not working. If you are married, you get immediately get help. If you are not married, you immediately break up.
1:04:18🔗
Adam
When a chick cheats, especially. When a chick cheats, that's it. Guy, a little bit of a biological mandate, especially younger guys. Guy goes on vacation, starts boozing, gets caught up in the moment. He can cheat. By the way, that guy is coming home with a big bouquet of flowers. I got you the macadamia nuts dipped in chocolate and a lion of ukulele.
1:04:44🔗
Adam
You went to Mexico. No, I went by Hawaii to grab you some junk too. Yeah, here you go. Then he shuts his lips. You'll know he cheated because he talks too much.
1:05:03🔗
Adam
Stu said when to go out. I said, we got to get an early start. I was longboarding most of the time. Then there's a lot of sports center. There's a cable. I watch TV from inside the hotel room.
1:05:15🔗
Drew
Again, ladies, it's not the guy that's distant or having trouble orgasming that's going to be the cheater.
1:05:28🔗
Adam
That's the guy. I would love to get some data on guys who come home from a business trip or from a vacation without their significant other, wife, girlfriend, whoever, who bring fairly lavish gifts. I'll tell you, it takes a guy with brass wavos the size of Texas to go out, bang a few strippers and come home with nothing.
1:06:01🔗
Adam
Well, I picked you up a Smirnoff bottle at the duty free place at LAX, but as you know, I'm a Smirnoff fan.
1:06:07🔗
Drew
But that's why we as guys don't trust the guys that they're lavish with this guy. What is he up to? He's up to something.
1:06:24🔗
Caller
But why can't I just let go? That's what I'm like. I don't know if there's more because I told him, we should break up, you know?
1:06:34🔗
Drew
Because here's the deal. Here's the deal. You've only been abandoned in your life. You've only been let go. You've never had done the letting go and that's too painful to put somebody else in that position. In other words, being broken up with is painful to you, therefore, you wouldn't put somebody else in that position. You know what I'm saying? Therefore, you can't bring it upon yourself to do it, so you're going to do all these horrible things to sort of make it happen.
1:06:58🔗
Adam
Right. And the problem with this guy is he's, you know, he has a slinky first spine and he won't do it and that turns you off even more.
1:07:12🔗
Caller
I don't know. Like I wouldn't, you see, but the thing is, is that I don't, he said like, you know what, it's going to hurt me. I don't want to be with you anymore.
1:07:28🔗
Adam
Nah, well, the line's banned. So is her brain. But here's the whole thing, Drew, you know, there's this like detox thing that a lot of the drug, you know, a lot of people don't want to get off whatever they're addicted to because of that whole detoxing thing, that whole coming down. I mean, they're all freaked out about that period of time where, you know, they're having to, you know, go without. And then a few years ago, someone was floating this thing where we'll give you some drugs, we'll put you to sleep, essentially, we'll put you in this sort of suspended state.
1:08:01🔗
Adam
Few weeks will go by your body will somehow or four days will go by your body will lose its dependency on these and then you wake up, you feel good. We need this for breaking up with people.
1:08:17🔗
Adam
We just pump you full of sedatives. We give you like a morphine drip and we play. We play a surf movies on some sort of overhead.
1:08:28🔗
Drew
No, no, I know it's going to work. You get an amytal, which is truth serum, and then you bring in the significant other.
1:08:36🔗
Adam
Wasn't sodium pentothal that used to be the true serum? Yeah, it was really amytal. What would happen if I took an amytal?
1:08:42🔗
Drew
God only knows. Oh, the things that we might find out. I don't want to know. I don't want to know. They'll be buried in your house for Christ's sake.
1:08:59🔗
Adam
You call it the truth serum, but it's just because you drink too much, you're sort of stupid, you start talking about stuff you shouldn't.
1:09:17🔗
Adam
What? IV? Okay, give me the back. I'll administer it on the ride home. Okay. So what was I saying, Drew? Oh yeah, this would be good, detox, because Anna's 21. She's in the middle of one of these crappy relationships that 21-year-olds get into where it goes on for too long and no one's got the balls to break up and they can't do it, everyone feels like crap. These guys just need to go under for a week and wake up with this person cleansed from their body.
1:09:42🔗
Adam
All right. Worried about being seductive with boyfriend that sex sucks, why too much? What is this?
1:09:55🔗
Yeah.
1:09:59🔗
Caller
Okay, you guys aren't understanding what I was trying to tell the guy earlier. Pretty much my boyfriend and I have just been having sex for a couple of months. When it started, I was into it because it was built up the anticipation of it. The first month was fun, but now it's kind of turned into, I guess, the best way for me to explain it is, for me, a theatrical act. All I'm worried about is making sure he's turned on and...
1:10:28🔗
Drew
So you're done. You're either done with this guy or you've got some intimacy problems. Those are your two options.
1:10:48🔗
Caller
I don't know, I guess I'm having some things, just feeling like he's not going anywhere in life and I guess it started off... The relationship kind of started off that I was really enjoying the attention I was getting and now it's just kind of like I don't really need your attention anymore.
1:11:15🔗
Adam
Guys, it's such a horrible no man's land when you're 20. Drew, you're complaining. You were in college. You're not in college. You just bounce. Like, here's your big plan. Yeah, I know a guy at the video store who's going to let me fill out an application. Like, oh, chick get wet hearing about that. Some stupid plan about nothing. It's always somebody you know, some friend of somebody, your dad's buddy owns a construction outfit. He might be able to.
1:11:41🔗
Adam
Yeah, it's like, I don't do anything for a change. No money, no juice. No, you got, you know, women love a little juice. You got no juice when you're 20. Now, see, what you had at 20 is hypothetical juice.
1:12:04🔗
Adam
No, no, you look at it that way, but you were, you had potential for juice. You were building a stairway to juice heaven.
1:12:17🔗
Adam
We have a conversation about this. All right, it's going to get sad. We got to take a quick break. We'll be right back after this.
1:12:24🔗
Dude, you got issues. 800-LOVE-191.
1:12:54🔗
Yeah.
1:13:01🔗
Adam
No one thought about naming a stool. A stool is something you sit on, and it's all very ass-related.
1:13:14🔗
Adam
Here we go. 1-800-LOVE-191. Let's talk to Rhiannon, who's very horny. What's happening, Rhiannon?
1:13:25🔗
I have a severe problem with like always wanting to have sex and definitely trying to have sex. And I don't have time to do that. And I have HPD, which makes it kind of inconvenient to be having sex all the time.
1:13:47🔗
All the time.
1:13:50🔗
Not anymore.
1:13:54🔗
Oh, I met a girl while he was out of town and had a threesome with her and a guy. And I told him about it after the fact. Like a week later, they met and they fell in love and left me. That was in like April.
1:14:14🔗
Yeah. Well, I had hooked up with her and a guy while my boyfriend was out of town. And I introduced her to my boyfriend. And my boyfriend and her fell in love and left me. It was very sad.
1:14:29🔗
Thanks.
1:14:31🔗
That's great.
1:14:32🔗
Adam
Well, I talk to a lot of people every night. I always can tell when someone is nuts. And you sound nutty.
1:14:40🔗
I don't think so.
1:14:45🔗
I got tested when I was in like 10th grade, and they decided that the diagnosis was that I was severely depressed at the time, I think, was the diagnosis.
1:15:00🔗
Yes.
1:15:05🔗
Which time?
1:15:21🔗
Yes.
1:15:26🔗
Yes.
1:15:33🔗
Adam
But what I'm saying is when you listen to that Fleetwood Mac song, it's Rhiannon. They don't say Rhiannon.
1:15:42🔗
Drew
But you're saying if you look at the back of the album, you can see it written in the back.
1:15:46🔗
Adam
Oh, I'm sure it's spelled that way. You don't hear them saying none. Oh, shut up. Brian yelled, they do in my ear. Someone go to The Arrow, go get that song. They don't say Rhiannon. All right. No one knows what I'm talking about. Okay. They say Rhiannon.
1:16:06🔗
I was seven. And what happened? I had a boy who was 12 teaching another boy how to have sex.
1:16:15🔗
Yes.
1:16:17🔗
Adam
Well, then who abused you? The guy who was instructing the class or the guy who was actually?
1:16:30🔗
At that particular time, it was a New Year's Eve party with like, like my aunt and uncle had decided to babysit for all the rest of their, like.
1:16:43🔗
What kind of home situation? I have my mom and my dad that raised me and then my biological father who I found out I had when I was eight.
1:16:55🔗
I have a home life story and I was in college, just graduated, excited.
1:17:00🔗
Adam
All right. Listen. Ran on. You're smart. You got plenty of IQ, but you got abused and you're spinning a little bit. So how about a little therapy?
1:17:10🔗
Drew
Or some psychiatric care too. I mean, you may be bipolar. You're definitely an abuse survivor. That's going to affect. You're a sex addict now, it sounds like, or at least sexually compulsed. And sexual addiction is, you know, from a definitional standpoint, is about the consequences. It is not a cool thing. It makes you do things, lose relationships, have consequences that are not great. Go see somebody who knows how to treat that. That's what you got to do. You got to do that because this is going to continue to progress, which is another feature of sexual addiction. It gets worse.
1:17:50🔗
All right.
1:17:51🔗
Adam
Well, here's the deal, everybody. Feel free to fix yourself. Go ahead. Fix yourself. I mean, do what it's going to take. You got a car that's not running right? Don't just stare at it. Go take it to somebody who knows more than you do. Get it running. And do it for you, by the way. Do all this for you.
1:18:15🔗
Adam
It's you. You are, look at yourself as some laptop that you travel with. Everywhere you go, that's what you got. That's all you got. That's, I don't care if you're in Tokyo. I don't care if you're in Geneva. I don't care if you're on the plane or in the airport. That's all. That laptop. That's all. That's all you got. Don't you want to load that with information?
1:18:37🔗
Adam
Don't you want it not to have a virus? Don't you want it to be as many gigabytes as humanly possible? Is that what you, that's all you got. That's all you got is your brain. And then everything else, by the way, you straighten that part out and that's it. You can have good relationships. You can make money. Whatever it is you're into. What's your thing? You want to start a business? What are you into? You into music? Whatever you're into, get your head right. Then you get to go do it. I don't know why anyone would fight that. Why is there a stigma in our society against getting your computer, let's not call the brain, let's not even call it an emotion. Emotional well-being and stuff like that. Let's just call the computer. And let's face it, that's all your brain is. It's essentially a computer and the guys who are a little smarter got a little better computer. That's all. Just like a lot of folks. I know got that Tandy one from Radio Shack.
1:19:35🔗
Drew
Yes, you can put the software into the less powerful one and make it work quite nicely.
1:19:42🔗
Adam
Wasn't that creepy by the way? Who decided? All the computers had to be like weird flesh colored, beiges and stuff like what? I'm going to do this thing or I'm trying to do a spreadsheet. What the hell? The point is that's all you got. That's your computer. So why wouldn't you get that computer? Why not download some software and all of a sudden, oh man, you can play chess, you can speak foreign languages, you can spell. Why not? Why not just get that as powerful as you can? And then once your computer gets power, then you just go through your life computing and being successful. What's wrong with that? Is there's a stigma to that? And by the way, all we ever talk about is we look up at everyone who betters themselves, but you got to be doing pushups or you have to be donating your time to the homeless. You can never therapy, oh, please, what's wrong, Pusso?
1:20:33🔗
Adam
Yeah, that's weird. No, no, yes, you better yourself go, you climb the mountain, you always say he's got one arm, he's climbed K2, oh, my God. Yeah, but by the way, these people are all just basically alcoholics. That's what these people are. These thrill seekers are the people you see on Oprah and all that stuff, they're really just reckless alcoholics.
1:20:58🔗
Adam
Right, the reason they lost their arm. Yeah, that's it. So, get the computer right and then go conquer the world.
1:21:06🔗
Drew
Here's the thing, I'm going to go one step further with this, is that the process, and this is what people freeze to be black, is an interpersonal process.
1:21:14🔗
Drew
Yeah, it's about what makes us different than a computer, in other words, why isn't a computer an intelligent being? Why doesn't it have a soul? It's that part that gets worked out, it's that part that makes us uniquely human that gets worked out in therapy, which makes the computer work properly, by the way. He makes the computer useful. Right?
1:21:38🔗
Adam
Hey, Chris. Yeah, you're over at junior college, so don't think computer, think chicken playing tic-tac-toe. When you picture what's in the brain, what's in the skull of the people you're working with, picture that chicken at the county fair that beats you at tic-tac-toe, in a form of a crude computer. Yes, but when you're looking at people's thought bubble, don't picture computer. Picture that chicken.
1:22:20🔗
Adam
The chicken in Chris's skull scratches the foot once, that's no. No, you haven't heard of me. Let's move on. All right, let's move on. Let's keep it going.
1:22:30🔗
Adam
We got to get it on. Let's get it on, buddy. All right, Michelle? You're 18? What's up?
1:22:40🔗
Caller
Okay, I recently broke up with, well, not really my boyfriend because he didn't want to be considered my boyfriend, but he was 25 and he was my first. Now, I, okay, I think I'm still very available for him and the relationship is pretty much a booty call type deal. And he really doesn't talk to me much more and I always try to contact him and I'm just wondering why. I mean.
1:23:09🔗
Adam
I'm hanging up or putting her on hold A because her phone line is banned, B because this is all we've talked about tonight. Like, forget it. He ain't interested. It's a booty call. Friends with benefits walk away.
1:23:20🔗
Drew
He just realized that even though you have all these crazy intense feelings, he has none. Zero. And it's hard to get that through your head when you're feeling the way you feel.
1:23:29🔗
Adam
Phone screener Brian. If I get another one of these dizzy chicks wanting to know why the unrequited love from the older male who just wants to have sex with me and how come he doesn't share the same feelings I do, I'm going to shove my wallet in my mouth and choke myself. See this wallet, Drew? I'll do it.
1:23:47🔗
Adam
It's a shiny wallet. You know why? Yes. Come on, Wiseacre. No more of these scooby calls. Well, look at that black American Express car. I want some big jug calls. Look at that, Drew.
1:23:58🔗
Adam
Yeah. That's black, buddy. Should we take a break? All right. We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back after this.
1:24:05🔗
Love Line, 1-800-LOVE-191.
1:24:24🔗
Adam
Yeah. Hey, buddy, it's Loveline. I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew. I'm going to get back to the phones and play a little something called Germany or Florida. Yeah. There's a theme song that accompanies that, but the engineer Anderson has been here two of the last two months of the show. That's right. Engineer Dave does not have that tape accessible. John?
1:25:18🔗
Caller
Hey, first I wanted to say I think you guys are great. Dr. Drew, you're a real mensch, and Adam, you've got a lot of seho.
1:25:29🔗
Adam
Yeah, I would. Hold on a second. Hold on. Engineer Chris, I'm going to fire up that chicken that plays tic-tac-toe. Do you know what mensch means?
1:25:44🔗
Adam
What about uber-mensch? What about, let me tell you something, John, you can help me out here. Here, a lot of YID talk, as Drew will call it, a lot of the stuff sounds bad and it's good, like mensch. When you call someone a mensch, it sounds like he's a leech, he's a pariah. This guy's a mensch. He's a mensch to society. But mensch is a good thing. And then oftentimes, there's bad things that are actually good. See, the Jews whack that whole thing out. Now, let's try to figure out a couple of the things in Yiddish. Is this is Yiddish? Yeah. That are good, that sound bad. All right, mensch is at the top of the list. There's three of them that sound like crap and they're actually good.
1:26:41🔗
Adam
Mensch, well, first off, nothing in that language, nothing's graceful or pretty. It's about as good as the-
1:26:51🔗
Caller
Okay, the first one is, bis hundertundzwanzig, kun alle däne zäne solle röisfall noch einher, und in der Zahn zaste krieg in a Zahn wehtoch.
1:27:07🔗
Caller
It's not tuchus. It's a pain. Well, it starts off by saying you should live to be 120, which is the usual long life greeting on someone's birthday. So the full saying, actually this is the fuller version, Adam, of one of the curses you love to say. So it goes you should live to be 120 and all of your teeth should fall out except for one and in that one you should get a toothache.
1:27:32🔗
Adam
Yeah, you should get, I love that kind of you should. I like how your head should grow in the ground like an onion.
1:27:53🔗
Caller
In English, okay. Yeah. You should be like a lamp, hang all day, burn all night and extinguish in the morning.
1:28:20🔗
Drew
Let me just stop for one second. Adam, the one thing you missed about the Yiddish humor is that it's humor and then the curse.
1:28:37🔗
Caller
Let's see, authorities say a man was shot while trying to shoot seven puppies and he was shot by one of the dogs. The man was holding two of the shepherd mix's puppies when one of them wiggled and pulled its paw on the trigger of the man's gun, making it discharge.
1:29:04🔗
Adam
That sounds Floridian to me. On the other hand, it's, you know, I'm going to Florida, we're going to Florida, John.
1:29:21🔗
Adam
Thanks for calling, John. You know, it's no wonder God is punishing Florida with all these hurricanes, by the way. And Drew, we are, we got to be, we got to be 10 for our last 12, easy, on the German Air, Florida.
1:29:36🔗
Adam
Yeah, and, you know, I hate to blow, I hate to blow smoke up my own, but these have been sort of, it could go either way. It's got a German Shepherd, puppies, he's shooting them with a gun.
1:29:51🔗
Adam
Yeah, no later hose in, worked in, or taking out to an orange orchard, anything that would connote either place. Yeah? You going three?
1:30:06🔗
Adam
All right. Caller? Didn't I hit that, Drew? What are you doing? Try six then. All right, let's go six. Liliana?
1:31:04🔗
Drew
Yeah. Well, here's the deal. You notice how different Liliana is than, say, that last caller we had who was wanting to have sex all the time. Liliana is saying, it keeps happening, but I don't want to do this. I keep getting in situations where it's brought on and I freeze, and then it happens to me and I can't find my way out.
1:31:23🔗
Drew
So that's, and she's, lo and behold, been raped three times, and I bet the first time was when she was like six.
1:31:38🔗
Caller
I had to go to court for it, and he just admitted doing it, but he said I wanted it.
1:32:19🔗
Drew
You're going to find yourself attracted to and in situations where you are victimized all the time. And you're not going to be able to come to your own defense once you're in those situations. You've got to take care of this. You need treatment, okay?
1:32:42🔗
Caller
I'm not drunk. I wanted to make a comment about the girl that called in earlier about her cheating on her boyfriend when she was on vacation. I think I was right that you bagged on her for being, oh, girl, she's such a saint. Well, at least she told her boyfriend what had happened. And then you said something to the fact that it's okay for guys to cheat, but it's not No, no, no, no, Vanessa.
1:33:14🔗
Adam
No. I said when women cheat, it's usually payback for something that the guy is doing or isn't doing or it's a way to break up with the person because women don't have as strong a mandate biologically.
1:33:33🔗
Adam
Especially a 21-year-old guy out somewhere on spring vacation, he's going to do something, he's going to shut up when he gets home.
1:33:38🔗
Drew
But in either case, it's a horrible thing to do and you're not being an honest person when you come home or exonerated from what you've done. You should be honest that you've done something destructive and end the relationship immediately or end it before you get in that situation where you're acting like that. You're not somehow...
1:33:55🔗
Adam
We put way too big an emphasis on honesty and there's way too much applauding going on for people to do that.
1:34:08🔗
Adam
It's not even that. It's... Yeah, I mean it is. It somehow lightens the burden like, look, what they did was wrong, but they were man enough to... Yeah, most of the time it's because they got caught or for any reason other than altruistic reasons, but go ahead, Vanessa.
1:34:42🔗
Caller
Okay, so I know there's nothing wrong with me, so what's up? So I was like you and I used to think that these datelines were totally cheesy.
1:34:49🔗
Caller
But I tried everything else and thought, what the hell? So I called the dateline and actually met a cool guy.
1:35:30🔗
Adam
Well, that's the show, kiddies. Thanks for tuning in. We will be back tomorrow night. Same time, same bat station. Face to face in here tomorrow night. So until next time, this is Adam Carolla for Dr. Drew saying, mahalo.
1:35:49🔗
Adam
The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or the station. The producer for Loveline is Aningold. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.