0:11🔗AdamHey, buddy, it's Love Line. Phone number 1-800-L-A-V-E-1-9-1. Dr. Drew, Board Certified Physician, Diction Medicine Specialist.
0:21🔗DrewThis has got to be a recording. Thank you, guys, for playing that recording of Adam's Voice, because there's no way that Adam could be in the studio tonight.
0:36🔗AdamHad a nice big day of work, got up at the crack of F, and got busy.
0:42🔗DrewSet the stage here. I visited Adam last night.
0:44🔗AdamI drugged him, I mean, I had about 13 Vicodin, bottle of red wine, a little Ambien last night. I mean, I was just a medicine.
0:56🔗DrewWell, let's set the stage. Adam had a hernia operation yesterday, at 3 in the afternoon. I went and visited him in the hospital, saw him before, which he was greeting. He was being greeted by a friend of mine who is an anesthesiologist, a Jamaican fellow.
1:16🔗AdamHe was Drew's neighbor. He said he was an anesthesiologist. He came in to visit with me. I had to give him my heavyweight speech, you know, which turning out to be quite true. Don't go light, Doc. Go heavy. You're going to err. Err on the side of heavy, you know. I like a bartender who has a heavy hand. I like a heavy-handed anesthesiologist. I said, look, worse for me to wake up in the middle of it than to die on the table. Yes. Go sick. So that was number one. And then number two, he's like, he started kidding me, he's a Jamaican guy. I didn't know what he was.
1:55🔗DrewI think he's from the Midwest, somewhere in the island kind of thing.
1:57🔗AdamYeah, he's an island man. He's a dark-skinned man. And he said, yeah, you know, Drew and I used to be neighbors until he decided, he sort of jokingly said, you know, too good for us and moved into a big house down the hill. And I said, well, I probably shouldn't be saying anything, but it's because you're black.
2:22🔗DrewAnd he, I happened to arrive just as he came storming out of the room, grabbed me and he says, he says, you move because they're black people living in the neighborhood. So I go in there, at which point the door is thrown open, Adam is peeing.
2:34🔗DrewAnd goes, well, this is kind of embarrassing, but I didn't actually say it because they're black people. I said, you didn't like how the neighborhood was going.
2:41🔗AdamYeah, it was going in a bad direction. They didn't need his type, I think I said, in there. And that's why he packed up and got out of the neighborhood. I wasn't sure. He mentioned that his wife was not a black woman, but I said, that doesn't balance it out. He's looking for blonde people. Maybe this is just, you know, I may be a little doped up here.
3:07🔗DrewThis is Dr. Cattigan, the premier anesthesiologist at the hospital I work at.
3:09🔗AdamI may be running at the mouth a little bit, but that's what Drew told me. Don't tell him I said anything.
3:14🔗DrewSo then I saw Adam afterwards and he was pasty white. Didn't remember having seen me before and I thought, okay, now here we go. This is where this starts. He'll have the same experience. I have where he can't get off his ass for three days, can't, physically can't do it.
3:27🔗AdamIt's just possible. Drew had the same procedure I had about a year ago. Was it one year ago?
3:34🔗DrewA year and a month, you're in two months.
3:39🔗DrewOh my God, it was awful. No, I got to work two days after my operation, but I had to have somebody bring me in and it felt like hell. I could barely sit in my car. And Adam's was 28 hours ago.
3:51🔗AdamNow listen, I worked all day today on the house. I was on a ladder for six hours today.
3:59🔗AdamI got up at 8.30, I went to my house and I hung curtain rods for six and a half hours. I felt fine this morning.
4:05🔗DrewThat is the difference between a heavyweight and a human. That's not human.
4:09🔗AdamOh look, let me tell you, I had about 13 Vicodin, a bottle of red wine and an ambient last night. I woke up at 8.30 this morning and it was a rock. I don't know. I actually have my most productive days after surgery.
4:36🔗AdamNo, you know, I know my wife was telling me to take it easy and each time she does that, I would go down. No, I would do this, she would go like, you got to take it easy and I'd go, oh, okay. I'd start throwing shadow bombs, start punching in the air, no, no, no, stop that.
4:53🔗DrewYou'll rip something. Yeah. By the way, Dr. Marcel, who I hope you'll see soon, after I had this exact procedure, I had like a month later, he goes, yeah, you got, well, we'll see in a year if this holds. We'll see. Oh, really? Talk about naysaying.
5:08🔗AdamBut Drew, no one could be worse than you. You were explaining to me how it's going to be in bed, driving in pain, excruciating pain. I really could have come in last night, I could have. I had my surgery late in the afternoon.
5:23🔗DrewWe're not talking a small surgery here. There's a lot of tissue.
5:26🔗AdamIt felt like nothing to me. I had my surgery later in the day.
5:30🔗DrewChris, look at this. Look at his wounds. Look at this.
5:45🔗AdamHere's the thing. I had my stuff late in the day. I mean, I didn't get out of the hospital until almost 7 in the evening, about 6.30. I think I got home about 7.
5:54🔗DrewI saw you about 4.30. I thought you were getting going.
5:56🔗AdamI was trying to get going, but whatever the reason is, I had to make my whiz. But the point is, I got home at 7 o'clock last night. If I'd had the thing at 8 in the morning or 10 in the morning, I could have easily come into work last night. I could have come into work last night anyway. I was just, you know, doped up and said, screw it. But no, I fell fine. Who knows, maybe I'm going to have some sort of relapse or something like that. I don't have any pain. I feel great. I'm ready to rock.
6:32🔗AdamYeah, I've been breaking it down. Now, I'll tell you, the surgery I had a week and a half earlier for my head sweat, much more than this. Really? Oh, yeah. Painful. Tough. And by the way, that's another thing. I had, you know, you have to have that conversation over and over again because we go to the hospital, they're like, This will hurt. What? Oh, you got that one. But no, I mean, any other recent surgeries? Yeah. Well, what, which one? Hyperhidrosis. Excuse me? So I got sweaty, sweat head. What's that? It's a thing where my head sweats, yes, it's a weird surgery that no one even really knows about.
7:17🔗AdamSympathetic blockade, I should have called it something else. It was confusing and it feels a little, it feels, it's a weird surgery. It's sort of like puss meets weirdo meets sort of hypochondriac.
7:38🔗AdamYeah, yeah, yeah, it feels like plastic surgery. It's like you're telling somebody you had a tummy tuck or a brow lift or something. It's like you didn't, you didn't really need to have it though, did you? It's weird how people's, you know, people's sympathy level goes depending on how necessary the surgery was. If they deem your surgery unnecessary, it doesn't really matter what it was. If they deem it unnecessary, you get zero sympathy, because it would be made fun of. They get a couple of probes shoved in your chest. It was much more than what I had yesterday, and I got zero sympathy from anybody. They're like, oh, all right, Mr. Vanity. Kelly?
8:44🔗AdamI didn't. I got a lot of... I didn't even know.
8:46🔗DrewYou don't hear anything. I'm blocked. Here's the deal. Yes, they are both. They are... There's clearly some sort of biological predisposition, just like for really every behavioral aspect of the human being. It's the experienced environment and the genetic interaction with that experienced environment. And then the environment can have a more or less profound impact that can result in these kinds of phenomena like sexual orientation issues.
9:10🔗CallerBecause with me, I'm bisexual. I have... But I have a completely sexual interest in women. Like, I'm married to a man, but I could... I enjoy having sex with women, but I could never see myself in a relationship with women, and I never...
9:26🔗DrewWell, Kelly, Kelly, this kind of confusion at the age of 25 usually means an environmental problem, some sort of sexual abuse in childhood, and I'd bet same-age sexual abuse by a girl age six to eight has that effect.
9:41🔗CallerI've never been sexually molested, ever.
9:43🔗DrewYou didn't goof around with somebody your own age when you were about six to eight years of age? What?
9:50🔗CallerYeah, with my cousin, I mean, it wasn't...
10:31🔗AdamWell, I'll tell you how you knew it. There's not, and it depends what the degree of the contact was. There's not many kids, and you don't believe me on this, but there are not many kids who didn't have some sort of thing that you could twist into sexual contact. It depends what we're talking about here.
10:54🔗AdamMost kids between the age of five and like ten will tell you there was some hanky-panky with some neighbor something that involved some ding-a-ling touching or something like that.
11:08🔗DrewYes, I'm talking about sexually directed behavior that go beyond the exploration of the body.
11:13🔗AdamI understand that. The only reason I'm never as impressed with you as you are with you is because A, you're you, and B, you will twist this into being that.
11:25🔗DrewOkay, I'll answer the question. All right.
11:30🔗CallerThere was not any sexual, I mean, we used to pretend we were on soap operas and we pretend we were kissing and show each other our breasts. My other part of my question is, I have a pre-conflict with my husband and I had him in a previous relationship and for four years, they never caused problems, but I've read a lot about it and I've heard a lot about it that, oh my God, it can ruin your marriage, it can ruin this, it can ruin that. And as long as there's not emotion involved, do you really believe that it can ruin a relationship in some way?
12:02🔗DrewAlways. What happened in the relationship that you're not with the guy anymore?
12:05🔗CallerIt had nothing to do with that. It had, I mean, it was, we just fought and it happened, I mean, it was before that and, you know, we fought all the time and he was abusive, but it had nothing to do with sex in any way, shape or form with any other women.
12:22🔗AdamBut look, here's the thing, here's what we do on this show. People try to pass things off to us as acceptable behavior, normal behavior, and it is to a certain point, like, you know, you playing a little doctor with your cousin when you're nine, fine. You being violated with a light bulb, not fine. You getting ear piercing, fine. You getting a hood piercing, not fine. It's a sort of matter of degree. And when we hear about couples that are, like, swinging or engaging in threesome activity and stuff like that, it doesn't work out.
12:59🔗DrewIt means something. It means a symptom of something.
13:01🔗AdamThat's right. And what you do is you spend your whole life trying to make it okay. Meanwhile, all you do is look in your rearview mirror and see a bunch of failed relationships and kids that hate you. You see what I'm saying? So, you can spend all your energy trying to find people that are sympathetic and tell you it's okay and say that guys like me and Drew are uptight and we don't understand and we're just a man. Listen, I'm an atheist. I don't care about anything.
13:29🔗DrewIt's just that I wish it did work. It would be wonderful if this kind of behavior was a good thing for the human being.
13:34🔗DrewNo, it's a symptom of something that is not working badly.
13:37🔗AdamAll you idiots who get in a relationship and then announce your buy means you're not in a relationship. Right.
13:42🔗DrewIt means you can't handle a relationship, you can't handle intimacy. You gotta have arousal. She's an addict, she's a bipolar here.
13:50🔗AdamSpeaking of arousal, I was reading the newspaper right before I won under last night. I was lying on the gurney, and people walked in explaining to me why I should be more nervous. Why don't they just post a sign, you should be scared assless on the thing instead of having people come in and try to talk you into feeling nervous. And then exalting the benefits of saltines. I was reading the newspaper, and I was reading the metro section or something, and Mayor Hahn out here in Los Angeles has vowed to clean up the intersections. I was reading, and almost started to spin out of control, I almost needed to be tranquilized with a dart. He was explaining that on Venice, which is our main street, he's got plans. He's going to put an arrow in it, La Brea. Oh yeah, yeah. Yeah, he's got to get the town moving, he's got to get the town moving, but safety, that's really what he was going to do. I was starting, my head, smoke was starting to pour from my ears, my nightgown was going to burst into flames. Yes, another arrow, good job, hon, that's right, get those arrows going, you jackass. All right, I was going nuts and I was thinking, I hope Drew gets in here because I've got to show him this thing and then I got all doped up and forgot all about it, but yeah, safety, that's job one. Got to get the, and I like this too, it's like, we got to get the town moving, we got to get the town moving, and by the way, what is it with these retarded politicians and those sort of, you know, they coin these, oh they don't even coin them, it's just all this lip service, like people need to get where they're going to, oh hold on, let me skim, where's my scratch pad? People need to get where they're going to, it's these platitudes, you know, LA needs to get moving. People need to get where they're going to, but they need to get there safely. Oh, hold on, Mayor, slow down, all these pearls, all these genius, my goodness, you're wasting your time running a city, you should be running a country. You're saying people need to get where they're going to, but they shouldn't be on fire when they get there, oh my, this is incredible revelation. You're like Nostradamus, what do you have, some sort of crystal ball? Oh, years, I bet people are calling you a heretic now, but years from now, you'll be like Joan of Arc. Well, you'll go down in the history books. People need to get where they're going to, but they need, oh, you shut up, you pussy. Stop putting so many goddamn arrows in this city. How about little Moc Schnell? How about we get it going? Jesus Christ. All right, where were we?
16:50🔗AdamFired up. Mike? Yes. Hold on, had to have the nurse come in and do the gown, you know, with the ass thing.
16:59🔗DrewYou were peeing with your ass hanging out the middle of the hole there.
17:01🔗AdamAss hanging out, had to have the nurse come in and do that, tie things, really. How about this? Let me ask you this, with the gown, because I did 20 minutes on the hospital gown last week. Hospital gown ties up in the back, has not a string, not like a shoelace, but sort of that rope tie. That's a ribbon. It's a ribbon, it's about six inches long. Houdini couldn't tie that thing into a proper bow nor undo it once it's tied. Nor undo it. A full-length mirror. Houdini with a full-length mirror and an assistant couldn't get that thing tied behind you. There's no way to tie the bow behind your thing. It's the ass that's hanging out. How about this? You know when you have like a smock or like a apron.
17:54🔗DrewWhy don't you call Mayor Hahn to the hospital?
17:56🔗AdamAdding a foot of yarn to the back of the goddamn rope to be the greatest, would be the greatest breakthrough in medicine in the last 150 years. Yeah, how about you just whip it around and tie it in front like an apron? Nope, you're, yeah. And by the way, are you supposed to tie it?
18:17🔗AdamIt is the mystery. It's like, here, put your robe on. Well, put it on. I mean like, if they were pants, like if hospitals invented pants, they would button in the back and have no fly.
18:28🔗AdamAnd you'd just be walking around with your hand pinching the thing together and your ass cracking out. You want me to tie this or don't you want me to tie it? What are we doing here? You've got four and a half inches of pressed cloth that I'm supposed to try to get my hands behind. Well, yeah, how about just let me whip it around, tie it in front like a human being? Really, they ought to really come out with other apparel. They ought to come out with shoes where the heel is on the toe and on top. They come out with pants with no zipper that button up in the back. Oh, actually, no button. No button. Just a little piece of yarn in the back. They have a shirt with no buttons and they go along the side. What else could they come up with? Glasses with no frames? What else? Jesus Christ. Drew, how about an extra foot and a half of goddamn yarn on there so I could tie the thing around front like an apron?
19:22🔗AdamAll right, and then they could untie it when they... Do they want to see ass?
19:28🔗DrewEvidently, because they get to see a lot. Yours, though, might have changed the tie.
19:34🔗AdamI think I may have turned the tie. It's probably memo up today. But I'm just saying, these nurses...
19:39🔗DrewThey're around the water cooler this morning. Quite a talk.
19:41🔗AdamThese nurses must see 7,000 lineal feet of ass crack every year. Just enough to stretch a two-lane highway of ass crack from here to New York of ass crack. I mean, it's just got to be nonstop old guy ass crack.
20:06🔗DrewAll right, Drew, get in there and do something. Mike, 25.
20:10🔗Hey, how are you doing, guys? First, I have a question. I want to finish out with a statement about last night's show, but I don't want to say the statement first, so you guys get a biased opinion of how to answer my question. Sound good? Okay, basically, I found out what's...
20:24🔗DrewWait, last night's show, he's calling from Chicago.
20:27🔗Oh, with estrogen and about girls. Okay, so, Adam, you weren't there, but now you can sit on your throne and listen. I have a question about phone sex and as a tool for enduring what's missing from a long distance relationship that will hopefully end up in a long-term relationship. And basically, I fell in love with a girl from Germany in Milan while I was studying there. And we were together for maybe, what was a month, and then we had to go apart and as a way to deal with it, just like the physical neglect or, I don't know, withdrawal that you can have with a person. We've been having phone sex and just, and I don't know, and I think actually a segue from that last caller, you know, is a way to deal with my fantasies. I'm 25 years wise and I'm kind of like growing out of the face that yes, I can have open relationships and things like that.
21:26🔗AdamAll right, hold on, hold on with the commentary. Listen, did you have sex with her? Multiple times when you're with her in Milan?
21:35🔗CallerYeah, definitely. And actually I want to tell you, like the first time we had sex it started out as a fantasy like role playing.
21:42🔗AdamAll right, when's she coming back from Germany?
21:45🔗DrewRight, when are you gonna actually see her again?
21:47🔗CallerBasically she's got the plane ticket book for September because when she finished school their schedule was off a little bit but she didn't get a job at BMW so she's gonna apply come now in July.
21:59🔗DrewI mean this, I mean right now. Yeah, Mike, is that?
22:04🔗AdamShe had a plane ticket book for September. September, she was flying Braniff actually. She got bumped up the coat. She went from coach to business.
22:13🔗DrewFirst it was a weekend because he had to have seven days advance in the weekend to stay across the Saturday.
22:18🔗AdamHer father's a frequent flyer. She used some of his mileage to get the business class bumped up. All right, Mike, when is she coming out here, goofball?
22:28🔗CallerShe's coming out here in September but she's planning on changing her flight earlier. She's coming out for a month. She finishes the semester and then she's moving here.
22:37🔗DrewDid you understand what he said? I have no idea what he just said.
22:39🔗AdamIs she coming out in July or is she coming out in September?
22:43🔗CallerI don't, I, she bought a plane ticket for September.
23:03🔗AdamI got Vicodin in me, I don't care. So what do you want?
23:06🔗CallerI just want to know, do you think that, okay, there's this fantasy about people who have an alt-reality, says, yes, we get three sums or we can have fantasies. And do you think that phone sec, you know, creativity and get some of those, you know, some of those manly kind of like ego.
23:23🔗DrewMike, here's the deal, Mike, you are spinning like a top. You have no, you're 25, but you seem to understand your sort of emotional and interpersonal life. Circa 16 year old, maybe 15. I don't know if this is your first relationship or what, but I imagine it is.
23:42🔗AdamMike's a nerd. Mike hasn't had a lot of relationships.
23:46🔗DrewBut you really, you stop thinking so damn much. Here's the bottom line. She's coming out here. You guys really like each other? Wanna keep it going? Fine. If you're not gonna be spending a lot of time together, meaning at least six months out of the next 12, this will never work.
24:06🔗DrewOh my God, but he doesn't understand anything. He's trying to reason it out as though he were reasoning about the front-end building.
24:10🔗AdamIf she comes out in July, start the relationship in July. If she comes out in September, if the BMW job doesn't go through, see her in September.
24:18🔗DrewIf phone sex helps you sustain, feel intimate, fine, that's great.
24:22🔗AdamAll right, let's take ourselves a little break. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. Hey, buddy, it's Loveline. I'm Adam. That is Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-L-A-V-E-1-9-1. I'll tell you, I've had a week off of a Kimmel show this week, and it just, it doesn't feel like a week. Tomorrow's Friday.
24:57🔗DrewYeah, and there was plus the holiday and for Monday, too.
25:00🔗AdamI worked, yeah, I worked, I did the Kimmel show on Friday night, so it felt like I was working Friday night, and of course we work Sunday. And then it was... We were off Sunday, but I just mean it turns into a six-day week. Right, right, right. Yeah, then the 4th of July, and then, you know, Monday was... I had the week off, and then yesterday I had to go do this... or day before I had to do this, like, prep for the surgery, and I had to do the sort of prep... The surgery was kind of lost. It's like it's Friday already. It was like lost week. But good times. All right, where the... Where the hell were we there, Drew? Speak to Alicia. That's it. Phone number 1-800-L-V-E-1-9-1. I don't know who's coming up next week because there's nothing up there on the board. Alicia?
26:02🔗We've known each other for about five years. We are both involved. I left my relationship about a year ago. I have a three-year-old daughter. Since the day I met this guy, I felt like I was in love with him. I left it alone because we were both involved with other people. At this point, he's still involved. After I left my relationship of four years, he let me know how he feels.
27:39🔗AdamOh, the humanity. When is this going to be over with? I'd rather get my wisdom.
27:45🔗DrewI want my money back. You build this to something totally different. How dare you?
27:49🔗AdamWhen you said BJ, my mind went to a beautiful sexual experience. This is like some bad timeshare.
27:59🔗DrewI want to talk to the manager. Where's the manager? What's your name?
28:03🔗AdamSweetie, let me see your badge. What's that say? I'm going to get him on the horn. Okay. So, no complaints. You got a three-year-old. You're out of a relationship. He's still in a relationship. Right.
29:10🔗Well, okay, so he gets out when he can, when he can and whatever, but...
29:17🔗DrewOnce again, people have to distort and deny and make their own...
29:21🔗AdamWhy does everyone give me a hard time? So you guys have been fooling around? Well, I wouldn't call it fooling around. He gets out when he can and things happen. What do you think I'm talking about? What did I say? It's all semantics. It's like, I called it fooling around.
29:40🔗DrewIt means she's spinning yarns. It means she's spinning a tail.
29:43🔗AdamHey, Alicia, you got a three-year-old. I bet you find a nice guy who can be a father to that three-year-old instead of a screwball philanderer.
29:53🔗Okay, well, he wants to be involved in my life. He says he feels he's stuck and he doesn't know where he stands.
29:59🔗DrewWhy is he stuck? Why can't he leave his girlfriend? It's not his wife, it's his girlfriend.
30:03🔗Right, right. And it's not so easy nowadays to just...
30:37🔗AdamWhat are you doing? Come on, just find a regular guy, would you? What's wrong with you?
30:44🔗Okay, yeah, I understand that I'm not in the best situation, but like I said, when I met this guy, I felt I wasn't in love with him.
30:50🔗DrewWell, that's great, but it's not the right guy.
30:52🔗AdamThat was some years ago, and he's not moving.
30:55🔗DrewHe's not made a move. He's still where he is, and he ain't going anywhere.
30:59🔗AdamLet's go. Let's go now. You got a three-year-old. Come on, mommy. Let's just set an example. About me and Drew, get on caves. Let's go. You're screwing up now. You got a three-year-old. Let's focus.
31:11🔗It's like I screwed up with her father, you know?
31:14🔗AdamYeah, all right. You're a screw-up, so stop it.
31:20🔗AdamAll right, all right. Listen, everybody, what's wrong with everybody?
31:23🔗DrewEveryone's in their head today. Everyone's going to tell us how it's supposed to be or how they want it to be or how it is in their point of view.
31:29🔗AdamThree years. What do you want to give it? Eight years? What's long enough for you? He's been with someone for three years. By the way, he's not a great guy. He's living with a chick. He's screwing around with you on the side. You're a mother now. Start acting like a mom. No relationship is better than a bad relationship. Just find some guy who can be present, who can be a potential father for your child and settle into something. What are you talking about? Rent and what?
31:58🔗DrewShe's making excuses for why he can't extract himself from his current relationship. Again, just look at what is, ladies and gentlemen, just what is, not what ought to be, what you think it is, what, blah, blah, blah, blah. What is? Just say it over yourself. Describe the circumstance. I'm involved with a guy who cheated on his girlfriend with me, has not made a move to move out with her or to end that relationship at all with tons of excuses as to why he can't. Yep, there you go.
32:36🔗AdamListen, I have a look, hey dad, you're a pussy. You're a huge pussy. I can call my dad a pussy 750,000 times on the radio. My dad's never heard me on the radio.
32:46🔗AdamI said, how'd the hernia surgery go? Just calling to check up on that. And I got to turn the infinity in. The lease is up on Friday. So you were talking about getting the Jag. So I did about 10 minutes on the Jag. Yeah.
33:16🔗AdamI can speak with impunity here because he's never heard the show a day in his life. My dad will sit down and lecture you for hours on end of why we need to not be attached to this sort of earthly belongings, the earthly belongings, which is meaningless possessions, the meaningless possessions, the empty possessions. Sure, you know, your bank account is full, but your soul is empty. I got to lease him a car. He wants a nice car, though. That's the whole thing. It's like, yeah, I'd like that kind of life, too, where I just sat around and talked about how it was really about spirituality. But I want to live in a nice house. I want to drive a nice car, so I got to get someone to pay for it. You know what I'm saying?
34:03🔗DrewYeah, it's like it's a kind of a version of anarchy.
34:05🔗AdamYeah, he's right. In theory, none of us should be attached to any earthly possessions. Fine, take the bus, old man. Oh, don't want to take the bus. Interesting. You want a nice, oh, you want air conditioning? You want a moon roof? You want reclining seats? Interesting, cruise control. Interesting, but nothing attached. You understand the cars, wheels, attached to the earth. They turn on the earth. Yeah, no, no, man. I'm not going to spend my time. I'm not going to dance for the man. I'm going to read. I'm going to read. You know, I got books. I got... I got Kierkegaard. I got Freud. I got Nietzsche. I'll read them all. Uh oh, I don't have a car. Yeah. How about you get me a car and I'll stay home and talk about how this doesn't mean anything to me. Yes. There you go. That's it. Charles?
35:18🔗AdamHow do you know? How do you know? How do you know?
35:19🔗CallerBecause it's been a big family thing. She talks about it with everybody in the family. And I'm just trying to figure out how to get her to stop because my parents won't do anything about it.
35:32🔗AdamOh, stop having sex or stop getting pregnant?
35:56🔗AdamCoffee cans with cement in it. It used to be like every third thing, somehow if you're doing like a volleyball net or a mailbox or something, somebody decided in 1971 that if you took a big can, like a big coffee can, like the five gallon kind or the three gallon one, and you filled it with cement and you stuck like a piece of pipe in it, you could use it for a flagpole. You just... And you would drag it. People kind of roll it, right? They drag it around everywhere. Never see it. Never see it. It's an idea that came and went. We fell in love with it from like 71 to 74, and now it's gone.
37:17🔗AdamNow the phone's crapping out. I mean, look, it's cheaper basic cable for Christ's sake.
37:21🔗DrewIt's too vague, too convenient. The parents don't want to do anything. That's too vague. And then mom won't pay for the birth control pill that maybe no one has to pay for.
37:31🔗AdamAnd she keeps bringing it up with the whole family.
38:12🔗DrewIt's especially pathetic given your heavyweight status now. You have somebody carve on you and you're walking around working all day. I have snot running out of my nose. I'm like a four year old.
38:23🔗AdamI felt. I feel fine. All right, let's talk to Brittany. Brittany.
38:34🔗GuestHey, I have a question though. I have liked this guy for about like 10 or 11 months and we're really close friends and I really want to have sex with him. I was wondering actually how to go about the act of doing it or like asking him to do it.
38:51🔗DrewWhat is the situation with this guy? Is he just a friend or do you want somebody you want to date?
38:56🔗GuestHe's just like a really close friend and I just kind of feel that connection with him.
39:00🔗DrewOkay. Well, do you know that by having sex with him, it will sort of make you feel even more sort of romantically inclined to him? Is he available for that kind of relationship?
39:11🔗GuestYeah, but we're not like into the whole like dating thing.
40:32🔗AdamBy the way, Drew, is that ever, Ryan, has that ever sprinted through your mind or scurried through your mind or scuttled through your mind that you were really attracted to some chick but you didn't want to jeopardize the friendship?
40:45🔗DrewThe whole, you know what's interesting about that?
40:46🔗AdamThe whole reason you're friends with people that you're attracted to is because you want to bone them. When a guy says that, girls, when a guy says he doesn't want to jeopardize his friendship with you, he ain't attracted to you.
41:00🔗DrewBut a guy that's really directed, really attracted, the whole concept of friendship doesn't, like won't even enter his, you know what I mean? It's like, well, that's like trying to think about.
41:11🔗AdamYeah, friendship with a 16 year old girl, no such thing.
41:15🔗DrewNo, it just doesn't. He couldn't even squeeze it into his mind if he was attracted.
41:19🔗AdamNow, what Brittany is planning on doing is trying to lose her virginity to this guy, thinking that the sexual encounter is going to somehow draw a man. It's only going to draw her in and disappoint her.
41:57🔗GuestThank you for all your help. I really appreciate it.
42:00🔗AdamFind the guys into you. And there are guys who are into you. You're just not into them. And you're into this guy because he's sort of lukewarm on you. And there's nothing that drives a 16-year-old out of a gourd like a guy who could sort of take or leave you.
42:22🔗CallerI have a couple of questions. Adam, how do I win a drinking contest? I have a drinking contest coming up where me and my buddy are going to have a 30-pack each and we have to try to kill him or whoever passes out or throws up first loses.
42:35🔗DrewWhere's my bourbon? I've seen people die from those. I don't mean to seem like just the man here, but I've certainly seen people on ventilators and I've seen them actually die from alcohol poisoning and drinking.
42:45🔗CallerWell, that was my second question, Dr. Drew, whether can I hurt myself doing this? Because there's been a time before when I drank a lot of vodka and I ended up throwing up blood the next day and the next couple of days I couldn't keep anything down.
43:01🔗CallerAnd that worried me a little bit, but I got over it, kind of like walk it off, you know?
43:05🔗AdamYeah, you're back. You're like an athlete that sustains an injury and you're back.
43:12🔗DrewYeah, and John, except for the death that I mentioned, the respiratory failure and the vomiting blood, except for that, don't worry about it.
43:18🔗AdamIt's going to do whatever you want, idiot. What do we need John for? So he dies, big deal, we get rid of John. Really? You need John running around?
44:02🔗AdamOh. Well, let me tell you why they can offer the best deals. That's number one. Also, I'll tell you- Selection, volume, their runs are passed, and no reasonable offer, or whatever, if we turn down. But let me explain this. What month are we in, Drew?
44:25🔗AdamDealin days. These are dealin days. We gotta make room for the 2005s. I like it this way. I like when the guy does the commercial where he screwed up and his boss is gonna get him into trouble. It's like, Hi, I'm Bob Jenkins, a sales manager for Longo Toyota. I ordered too many cameras. If my boss finds out that I've had this many cameras, well, if he's got a radio, he might find out about this. I gotta move these. We gotta clear it out. We're making room.
44:56🔗DrewLet's hear what Steve has to say. Let's get it clear what his certain place is because you've mentioned Longo 12 times.
45:00🔗The commercial you're talking about, I'm actually on them, which is kind of...
45:15🔗Basically, the way the Priuses work, because you were talking about a Prius or a Jaguar, the way the Priuses work, it's a five-month wait because you get on a waiting list. Right.
45:57🔗Actually, I live in Apple Valley. And I commute every single day. I've taken one up there, actually. And the gas mileage is awesome in those things. The one that we've had on our lot, we've had on there probably about five or six months. And we filled it up once. And it still has a quarter tank in there and 720 miles on it.
46:48🔗CallerAdam and Dr. Drew will be right back on Loveline.
46:52🔗CallerThis hour brought to you in part by Axe. Experience the Axe Effect.
47:20🔗AdamI'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-L-A-V-E-1-9-1. Yeah, I wanna give a quick plug out. I'm hosting a special on ABC that is airing this Sunday. It's a two-hour special called The Great Domestic Showdown, I think. Yeah, I think it's actually decent. They gave me a tape, I've not seen it yet. I can't stand watching me, but I like to hear the sound of my own voice. I'll tell you that.
47:57🔗AdamNobody wants to sound their own voice like me, but I don't like watching me. But yeah, keep in mind, they probably cut out all my best jokes, but the show's kinda interesting, I think. So that is this Sunday, nine o'clock, ABC. ABC, it is a Sunday, right? Is it the 11th coming up? Yeah. When we left off, we were speaking to Steve on line one. Steve?
48:30🔗I do, really quick, Adam. I can just, I've been listening forever. I can honestly say, I listened to you the very first day you were on the air. Really? It was actually when Scotty Farrell and you were actually, when they were training you. So that's all I ever listened to. Anyway, back to the Prius.
48:48🔗AdamYeah, now the Prius. All right, now let's talk about these hybrid automobiles for just one second. Now, as you know, Steve was probably listening when I was talking about my dad, who I have to lease an automobile for because he's that financially well off that he needs a son. And by the way, you know, it's one thing when your dad puts you through medical school and now it's time to pay him back. My loser dad, I swear, may God, may that TV monitor fall on my head if I'm exaggerating one iota from age 13 to age, to whenever I left the house, he's got about $500 into me. That's round, that's a high number. That's high number. Now, I'm not talking about eggs and flour and if you want to count rent there, you know, I was living at his house, but I mean, terms of money just handed out 500 and that would include clothes. I don't have yearbooks because my dad was so goddamn cheap.
50:05🔗AdamNo, no. No, look, I'll tell you the balls I had. I had home run balls that I hit in little league that I would use that are lost now because I would use those for the balls. No, my dad, cheap and a pussy. Now, but I leased him a car because I feel sorry for the guy.
50:21🔗DrewNow, I was one to brought out the Prius. Because I thought that would be appropriate for me.
50:24🔗AdamNow, what happened is I leased my dad an expensive luxury car and every time I see him, he's driving my stepmom's minivan because it gets four miles a gallon better than the expensive Infiniti Q4 G45 or Q45 I get him. And so I decided I should just, it's his lease is up, five year lease by the way. I pay insurance too on the car. You know, this cost me 40 grand.
50:48🔗DrewAnd in California with the DMV registration, it's about 800 bucks just to register the damn car. Right? Our previous governor had it today, it would have been 2400 bucks to register the car.
51:02🔗AdamYeah, and he lets my stepmom, who kicked my ass around the house for five years before she finally booted me out of the garage when I was 19, drive the car, I lease it. So now lease is up, he needs a new ride. So, and again, people think, well wait a minute, is the show on in Los Angeles? Adam's calling his dad a cheap pussy on Los Angeles radio or his dad, my dad's never heard the show a day in his life. I can guarantee you that. He thought, he asked me the other night if I was working Saturday night. I thought we did the show Saturday night. He has no idea. And my dad also has no friends. There's nobody he speaks to. People say, it's like, doesn't it get back to him? Should call him a pussy on the air every other night? No, he doesn't know anybody, doesn't have any friends. We don't want to talk to him. So.
51:51🔗DrewThe Prius I thought would be more appropriate.
51:53🔗AdamPrius would be more appropriate for my dad because he's so worried about gas mileage.
51:56🔗DrewPlus, he'd be the coolest dad in town. And people's non-friends.
52:00🔗AdamNow, the Prius gets about 70 miles to the gallon.
52:04🔗It actually gets 51 in the city. Actually about, yeah, about 51 is in the city. And actually, no, 51, excuse me, 51 on the highway and 60 in the city.
52:15🔗DrewYeah, that's what's weird about it. It's more in the city.
52:18🔗AdamIt's more in the city because it runs off the electric.
52:22🔗No, it's the regeneration braking. That's the whole reason for it.
52:26🔗Now, the difference between the Jaguar and the Prius is the Jaguar is a beautiful car. It's actually built on a Ford Taurus chassis. Reason I know that is I used to have a Ford Taurus. Also, the second thing about the Prius is it actually costs around $45,000 to make. The government actually picked up the rest of the tab because it's such an economical car. It saves gas mileage, lower prices in gas, and it's better for the economy as far as pollution and that type of thing.
52:53🔗AdamRight, right. Yeah, and now what is, can you lease these Priuses or do you have to buy them?
53:23🔗They actually stopped the list because our general manager, Dave Scott, actually said, no, no one wants the list. When the list drops out, whatever price comes in, it's a free for all.
53:33🔗AdamThey just can't make them fast enough, huh?
53:35🔗Right, because they come fast, they go fast. Now what we can actually do for you though, Adam, just being the man that you are, and for me listening to you so long, the next one that comes in with the package is with the color that you want, I can get it free that day, not a problem.
53:48🔗AdamI don't care what color it is because I asked Brown with, do you have one that looks like bird, like a seagull ass? That's not my car.
54:00🔗If it's brown, you'd actually take in the brown?
54:02🔗AdamListen, I would take one with a swastika painted and scratched into the hood with a Confederate flag on the roof. I don't care. Let me tell you how little my dad cares about cars, by the way, I go out and get him his car and bring it back. He doesn't know what car I'm getting or what color it is or what the interior is or anything.
54:35🔗DrewThe energy that normally would be dissipated in braking is converted into.
54:39🔗AdamGenius. Now let me ask you this. Is this car, so what are we talking about like for a lease payment? Like a monthly lease payment?
54:48🔗There's actually a couple of things that would factor in it as far as down payment, if you had a trade, if you wanted to actually return your lease to us, credit history.
55:20🔗AdamOkay, let me ask you this. How are these cars selling in the rest of the country? Because I imagine California and especially Los Angeles, San Francisco, Southern California, they're moving like hotcakes. Are they selling in Iowa? Are they selling in Indiana?
55:37🔗These are the hottest cars in the market right now because also Honda has a hybrid car, too. We're actually selling all of our technology to the other dealers, as far as like Ford, Chevy, Honda, that type of thing. We're actually selling the old model that came out last year. We're actually selling that model technology to these other companies because ours is so well-advanced. That's why Toyota is the best hybrid car you can buy on the market.
56:07🔗AdamHonda's coming out with a hybrid cord, by the way, that I just read about. But look, this is, by the way, we're about 30 years too late with all this stuff. And I know the battery technology wasn't what it was, or it wasn't what it is today 30 years ago, but it seems like we're way behind in this department.
56:27🔗DrewAlso though, but Steve, it's a Japanese company.
56:30🔗AdamYeah, wait. And what I'm asking though, Steve, is there is a waiting list to get one of these cars in Los Angeles? Is there a waiting list to get one in Iowa?
56:53🔗AdamFor some reason, I'm just not picturing them selling them on the farm belt, you know? Well, a lot of people drive trucks out there, and the weather for instance, is maybe not great for the snow. Listen, Steve, I already talked to my buddies over at Galp and Ford, and I already got the Jag lined up. Oh, no.
57:26🔗AdamYou're not gonna drive one of these cars.
57:28🔗DrewMy wife driving. I'm so tired of going to the pump and paying $50 twice a week.
57:38🔗AdamWell, Drew, I told you when you got your car, you should get another car. You should get a highway car. It's cheap. And by the way, you pay for itself in a year with the amount you're spending. All right. Jenny? You're 19? What's up?
57:53🔗GuestAm I on? Oh, I about a month ago had a bump down there and it turned, it looks like Jennifer works to me and I looked online and everything and it totally has to be, but I've only been with one guy for like four years and he doesn't have anything on him.
58:13🔗DrewYeah, but he was with somebody, he was with somebody else before he was with you.
58:18🔗GuestYeah, but can you, I don't understand if he doesn't have anything on him. It's nothing visible on him.
58:23🔗DrewYou do not have to have the warts to be contagious with the wart virus.
58:31🔗GuestOkay, and are they gonna always be there or is it kind of like, does it go away, come back? Do I get outbreaks if I get treatment or is it just there?
58:39🔗DrewIt's there, you have to have it taken off. It will spread if you don't take it, you'll have more if you don't get rid of the one that's there. And the sort of risk is that these warts, that they can increase your risk of cervical cancer, so you have to get very regular pelvic exams and understand that those viruses, or rather those warts that persist, in other words, they don't seem to kind of go away on their own, are the ones that are highly likely to be associated with cervical cancer.
59:04🔗GuestOkay, and he's, the girl he was with before, they were both virgins. So obviously she couldn't have just had it, so he's obviously been with somebody else.
59:15🔗AdamIt's hard to do the wart math, but just assume that maybe they weren't both virgins, or maybe there's one that's, people do tend to stretch the truth a little when it comes to their sexual history, and maybe this is the case.
59:31🔗AdamEither way, I don't know, either way, trying to sort of trace it is sort of moving.
59:36🔗DrewI know, there are even weird things where people get it on their hand and then get it in the vagina. They can happen, but that's pretty weird. That's pretty unusual.
59:42🔗AdamUnusual, but yeah, well, look, it takes all kinds. I've said it many times. Angelina?
59:55🔗GuestWell, I've been married for about five months now and I have a very irregular kind of sex drive. I have one minute, I'm just completely all Floyd and everything's regular and we're just, you know, being regular newlyweds and then the next week I'll just be so completely shut out and just like grossed out by the idea and I panic whenever he touches me.
1:00:20🔗DrewThat sounds like that bipolar quality that people get when they're sexual trauma survivors.
1:00:26🔗GuestWell, I don't, I've never been like diagnosed with it. I mean, I was raped about, I don't know, like a year ago and so I've had several people say that that could be it.
1:00:35🔗DrewThat's what I'm talking about. That's what I just said. That there could be some sexual trauma. And people often have had sexual trauma.
1:00:50🔗GuestYeah, he wasn't supposed to be there and she told him that she was spending the night and he came through my parents' back bedroom door and did his thing.
1:01:02🔗GuestThere, you know what the police told me? They said some girls like it rough because I knew him and because we had been, we all went to a movie that night.
1:01:11🔗DrewHold on a second. That's not what the police said. That's not what the police said.
1:01:16🔗AdamGuy broke into my house and raped me. Well, some gals like what we call rough trade. So why don't you just chalk this one up to experience?
1:02:16🔗AdamAnd he never touched you when you were younger?
1:02:19🔗GuestNo, he's made me feel a little uncomfortable just because he's kind of like that, but he's never done anything to me. I mean, that I know of. Maybe when I was really young, but.
1:02:48🔗AdamAnd then later on that night, you came home and what happened?
1:02:53🔗GuestShe said, can I stay in your guest room? Her parents were supposedly out of town. She was visiting from college. She had brought her boyfriend down from just to visit. And she said, can you stay at your house? And I said, well, no, my parents wouldn't approve of that. He left and about two in the morning.
1:03:13🔗AdamAnd she went to bed in your, she went to sleep in your guest room?
1:03:17🔗GuestYeah, in my guest bedroom. Then 2 a.m. 2 a.m. We went to bed probably about, I don't know, 1130. 2 a.m. I wake up and he's really right in front of me. And it was a pretty, it wasn't a good scene, obviously.
1:03:32🔗DrewDid he have a weapon or something? What happened?
1:03:34🔗GuestNo, no, he didn't. But he used horrible force. He put his finger in my mouth and held my tongue down. And just, it wasn't a good, it was just a stand.
1:04:02🔗GuestThrough the fighting, through the fighting gate. She afterwards said that they, she had let him in the room. They had had sex. She let him sleep in the bed. We have a huge home, so I would never even have known. We don't have an alarm or anything. When she fell asleep, he came into the bedroom and did what he did with me, went back and then slept with her again.
1:04:20🔗AdamWow, this guy's got a, Drew, I've labeled you as a passionate man in the past. This guy's beyond that. What a motor. He had sex with his girlfriend.
1:04:35🔗GuestNot to my knowledge, not when I was there, but I would have put it past him.
1:04:39🔗AdamOkay, so what movie did you see, by the way? Ghost Ship, oh. Man, he could have been traumatized. It was such a crappy movie. Maybe that's, if I was his attorney, I'd be, he was so traumatized, he felt raped by the eight dollars he put out that he had.
1:04:56🔗GuestYeah, he went by some weird name, and then when we found out when I went to, the police tried to do some type of a search on him, there was no name for that.
1:05:04🔗AdamOkay, well, no, hold on, hold on a second.
1:05:06🔗DrewWho was your girlfriend? What's up with her?
1:05:07🔗AdamYeah, your girlfriend, sounds like a delight. So the guy, okay, so you wake up to find the guy standing next to you in the bed on top of you, basically. Shoves his hand down your mouth, so you can't.
1:05:55🔗AdamHe says, I'm sorry. Feel back. We have the world's crappiest phone system. It cuts out and only we can't hear it. The rest of America can't. So he has intercourse with you. He forces intercourse on you. Yes. And it has full penetration, has an orgasm.
1:06:12🔗DrewThis is again that having sex with a wildcat, bobcat.
1:06:15🔗AdamHow do you do that? You're struggling the whole time? The whole time?
1:06:18🔗GuestAs much as I can. He put, gosh, you're gonna make me cry. He put some type of like something, I'm not entirely sure what it was. It was the strings in my bathrobe and he put them around my hands. So I wasn't able really to struggle very much.
1:06:35🔗AdamHe tied you up with the drawstring. By the way, how about one of those drawstrings for my gown at the hospital yesterday, Drew? What about that?
1:06:43🔗DrewThey want ass cracks. They want ass cracks.
1:06:46🔗AdamOkay, so he essentially tied you up. He had sex with you.
1:06:53🔗GuestHe got out after six days. He had an amazing lawyer and somehow he said that he was under emotional stress because he had just gotten out of boot camp. And he said that the emotional stress from that, something happened and he snapped. And so he was sent to some type of a psychiatric facility where he was getting, I don't know, some kind of counseling.
1:07:18🔗AdamSo you're screaming for your friend. Hold on one second. We've talked about this a few times. I never understand and I know logically it goes on every day, unfortunately. A, how a guy gets a good boner going when he's like wrestling. You know what I mean? Like struggling and biting, people screaming, people biting, people scratching. Look, I gotta have something on the junk. I gotta have it in a shop vac or my hand on it or something. I gotta be doing something. I don't just get a boner sort of while I'm wrestling. I'm not like a dog. You know what I mean?
1:07:57🔗DrewBut then, it has to be a very tumescent boner, as it were, because you gotta penetrate somebody who's dry.
1:08:05🔗AdamI understand you do a thing where you go like, look, your sister's in the next room. I gotta tie it up. I'm gonna put a bullet in her head unless you relax and give me some. I don't understand how you can struggle and have intercourse.
1:08:21🔗AdamYeah, I mean, just someone who's scratching and screaming and, Angelina? How is he able to actually have penetration with you when you're fighting and struggling and, you know, putting up a, making a fuss?
1:08:36🔗GuestI'm not really sure. It didn't go in very easily. I had 22 stitches down there, so. Yeah, it was pretty traumatic. I mean, the doctor said it was one of the worst cases that they had seen. It wasn't, he just spit a lot and made it to where it was kind of.
1:08:55🔗AdamAnd yeah, and by the way, wow, what a, thanks a lot to your girlfriend, by the way.
1:09:01🔗DrewAnd what's with her that she'd be seeing this guy?
1:09:04🔗GuestI don't think that she really had known him for very long and she obviously didn't have a lot of self-esteem. She was putting up with a lot of stuff I hear later on, but I don't really speak to her.
1:09:15🔗AdamI know, I know. There's many things to talk about, but the guy got essentially no time with all this forensic evidence, the 22 stitches in your vagina, stitches in his fingers, tying you up and raping you brutally.
1:09:30🔗GuestI know. I don't know how it happened either. We didn't get any type of satisfaction at all from either of our-
1:09:36🔗AdamHe had a tough time at boot camp and so he did no time?
1:09:39🔗GuestHe apparently, according to them, he was traumatized by something that happened in boot camp where he says that he also had been attacked by a fellow.
1:09:52🔗GuestThat's what he's claiming. Though no one, his mother, his brothers, his girlfriend, no one had heard of this. No one knew about that.
1:10:01🔗AdamWouldn't there be military records of that?
1:10:05🔗GuestThere was one man that said that he remembers him telling him and that some guy, I don't know, some type of sergeant stepped forward and said this, he did say that this had happened.
1:10:16🔗AdamThis sounds almost incredible that he didn't get, I mean, this is the kind of thing you should be getting 30 years for.
1:10:24🔗GuestYeah, well, when you were, when my dad and I were trying to go over records and talking to lawyers, they said that the likelihood that just the fact that I had allowed him to come in my house at all, the fact that I had allowed him, and he claims that I was flirting with him the entire evening. And it was basically literally because she didn't hear anything and because she loved him and stood by him, it was their word against mine.
1:10:53🔗AdamHow about the 22 stitches in the vagina?
1:10:57🔗GuestThere again though, because I don't know how they justified that either, but they just said that any type of, I mean, they didn't deny that there was some type of a struggle or there was some type of something, but they didn't think that it was a rape.
1:11:12🔗AdamAnd you'd never had any physical encounter with this guy before?
1:11:16🔗GuestOh no, never ever. That was the first night I had ever met him.
1:11:22🔗GuestBut she also said though, after she said that she was also very rough with her as well. And that it, you know, I think that what she didn't realize, she was a virgin and I think what she didn't realize is that she was being mistreated by him as well and just didn't know.
1:11:41🔗AdamWell, listen, your friend. Okay, so listen.
1:11:44🔗DrewYou obviously have a ton to talk about here with this and you need to, you know. Post-traumatic stress. Yeah, it's a post-traumatic stress from this horrible thing. And of course it's around your sexual experiences and of course sexual feelings and sexual encounters with a man can evoke all kinds of heavy feelings. Now, having been through this. So you notice how you've been started crying talking with us about it. There's still a lot more that needs to be kind of sorted through. You have to make a narrative of this that you can hold and feel safe about so you can begin to have sexual relations again without these sort of on-again, off-again kinds of feelings.
1:12:15🔗AdamAll right, we gotta take a break. Anne? Yeah. You called a few weeks ago. Your boyfriend's the one that's in the coma. All right, hold on. You don't remember that? Was I? Oh, you weren't in a coma. You weren't in Boston. We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back.
1:12:36🔗CallerLove Lines with Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew.
1:13:12🔗DrewShe's remarkably well adjusted, given what she's been through, for God sakes.
1:13:15🔗AdamIs there something, you know, 22 stitches in her vagina, and a guy ties her up with a bathrobe tie, and, you know, has bite marks on his fingers, and he gets a couple days in a mental ward? What's, huh? Meanwhile, old Jack of Orkin's doing 15 years in the joint.
1:13:38🔗DrewHe's a dangerous man. Can't have him out there running loose.
1:13:41🔗AdamBy the way, the prisons are overcrowded now. There's more people incarcerated in this country than I think just about any other country. It's alarming numbers, especially when you get to, like, young black men and stuff like that. Do we have to have everyone in for the same thing? I mean, when is somebody gonna stand up and just sort of make a proclamation and say, look, there's stuff we care about and there's stuff we don't care about? Here's what we want in prison. We want the people in prison that are gonna do harm to us. Guy wants to blow his head off. Guy wants to shoot himself with some junk. Guy wants to pot plant in his backyard. Guy wants to go around and help put people out of their misery so they can die with a little dignity or advanced stages of Lou Gehrig's disease. I don't care about him being in the joint. Guy wants to visit a prostitute. Guy wants to pimp a prostitute. A prostitute. Guy wants to sell some reefer to Grateful Dead concert. You know, they're, I'm sure you could go through the prisons and weed out at least 60% of the people that were actually in the joint that we just don't give a rat's ass about as a society. You know, take him out, take him out, put him in rehab, take him out, put him in rehab, put him in job training, put him in a halfway house. Come on, let's clear him out. Do they all got to be in there? Stupid mandatory sentencing and stuff. Guys, you know, delivers a package of Coke or something for somebody all of a sudden, he's doing 25 years, it's mandatory, you know? Well, how does this work, by the way? And how does it work that the government and that the powers that be in law enforcement, the prison system, the judges and all this, how is it that so many people are in the joint that society doesn't really care about? How is it that there's so many tickets handed out that people aren't interested in? How can, you know, whatever they did to take down Heidi Fleiss when Heidi Fleiss was in here, they had task forces with hundreds of guys involved, these huge task forces. They do these things all the time, you know, a Pee Wee Herman, they're sitting in the goddamn porn houses, these are these guys, they're cruising the vice guys, well, what's up? And then, oh, of course, there's a kabillion meter maids, but then whenever you talk about violent crimes, like hey, we just don't have, we don't have the manpower. We just physically don't have the manpower. We don't have the men, we don't have the resources. You don't, what about the 80 guys you got posing as Japanese tourists who could take down Heidi Fleiss and some of her 19 year olds? What about those guys? We just, we don't have the manpower, we can't check the container ships coming into the ports. Yeah. What about the flunky I see driving down the hill every night in the left-hand, in the right-hand drive Chevette, who's handing out tickets to the good taxpayers up in the hills there? What about that flunky? We couldn't teach that flunky to stand out by the dock and hold a Geiger counter, one of the things? Where are all these people coming from? How come there's 30 flunkies sitting around fixing one goddamn pothole? We don't have the manpower. You got plenty of manpower. I see cops hiding behind signs and bushes. I see a goddamn meter made every 10 feet. Where are all these guys? These task force, these guys we're gonna bring down. Oh, whoa, these guys are selling pot. We're gonna bring them down. There's a guy, this guy's growing a pot plant in his backyard. We're gonna bring that guy down. You see, you got plenty of guys. Once you start putting them, where do we tell you to put them? Hey, dude, am I the only guy who cares about this? Do I not give a rat's ass about a guy seeing a prostitute or smoking a little reefer? Got his bumper hanging into the red four inches. Am I the only guy who doesn't give a rat's ass about this? I mean, as a society, we care about terrorists. We care about violent crime. The rest, distant backseat. Oh, we got enforced though. The guy lit up a cigarette at a bar. We got to get in, we got, oh, and then on the beach, or you see a guy smoking, there's a 90 knot wind coming off shore. We got to shut that guy down. There's so many rules, there's so many goddamn regulations, there's so many people all over the place. We can't focus them on the things we're interested in. We want a prison population that's just half filled with people that don't need to be in there. How come nobody cares about this? How come no one says anything about this? What's going on with this? There's just, there's zero, it's like, oh yeah, we got millions of illegal aliens coming across the border into the Los Angeles, Arizona. There's nothing we can do, there's nothing. Oh, we got cargo ships coming in with containers. We can't check those things. We got NBC News taking spent uranium and trucking it through downtown Los Angeles. We just, there's nothing we can do. We just don't have the manpower. We don't have the manpower? We've got plenty of people. Where are they? Why don't you allocate them to what we want them to do? I don't understand this.
1:19:02🔗DrewIt's gonna be an opiate log here. The Vicodin is beginning to talk for you.
1:19:07🔗AdamWhat is going on? All right, can't we get a, all right. Don't worry, Mayor Hahn is gonna put another arrow in on Venice, like goddamn Venice doesn't have enough F and arrows on it. It's gonna start having arrows that point up, point down and point sideways and point toward Mecca. How many more goddamn arrows does Venice have? Yeah, Hahn, you're right on top of that, fantastic. Oh, that's gonna clear it up. Oh, well, we need, oh, that's right. We got the most congested intersections in the world here. You put another arrow on Venice, good job. There you go. Oh, that's it, our troubles are, oh, we're, it's over, Drew. You just shaved an hour off our commute. You're putting another goddamn arrow in there. Why don't you put an arrow through your head, you idiot?
1:19:51🔗DrewI saw an interesting article where the palm trees are reaching the limit of their life expectancy throughout Los Angeles. So our city, the emblem of our city is gonna all die off.
1:20:00🔗AdamOh no, it's gonna become an arrow. It's the city of the arrow now. It's just one big red arrow. Idiots. Please people, I know it's become a nightly crusade for me. I'm gonna end up like Lenny Bruce reading us court transcripts and being thrown off stage. Please drive through the red arrows. Please, please, I beg of you. I beg of you drive through the red arrows. I do it every night. Please join me. Please join me.
1:20:26🔗AdamDon't be a lemming. Don't be a pussy. Please drive through the red arrow. Come to the signal. The signal will be green. The arrow will be red. Look left, right, then left again. Make sure there's no traffic coming. Look for cops and then drive right through it. Please, and any of you cops out there, pull me over, please, please. Anne?
1:21:00🔗GuestHey, first of all, I gotta tell you guys, I love you guys and I've been listening to you since I was about 11 years old. I'm 25 years old now. And whatever happened to the number one Asian big boob queen?
1:21:37🔗GuestI know under my circumstances, I shouldn't be asking about number one Asian big boob.
1:21:42🔗DrewIf it makes you feel a little better, it's all right.
1:21:44🔗GuestAnd you know, me and my fiance always talk about love lines. And we've got this thing, he's in a coma now, but we've got this thing where we text message each other and we say, hey, are you thinking about the Holocaust?
1:22:02🔗AdamLet me recap. Your boyfriend rode his bike. He was like a bike messenger. He wore his helmet every time, but for this one time, he did not wear his helmet. He went out and he got clipped and he got severe head trauma and he was in a coma. Now, his parents don't want you having a say in what happens to him.
1:23:05🔗GuestAnd what the doctors have been telling us is that don't even expect him to have any quality of life. And I understand that. Now, what's going on in my situation is this, is that I've lived with this man for coming up very, very close in weeks, a few days, or three years. And a few days will be three years that we've lived together. And his family is from, was in Mexico. Now, the day after the accident, of course, I had to call all his family and let him know what had happened. And they come up here and because we're not married, they're taking advantage of the fact that I don't have medical directive or power to turn over him.
1:24:16🔗DrewBut the HIPAA laws prevent you from having access to any information about him. I don't know that they necessarily can restrict visitation.
1:24:24🔗GuestI don't either. The social worker at the hospital has said, she notified me Saturday and said, I am not allowed to return to the hospital to visit him.
1:24:36🔗DrewYou may have something, you may have a right to.
1:24:39🔗AdamYou may have a right, but what else has family got against you visiting him?
1:24:45🔗GuestYou know, since I met his family when I first started dating him, it was an issue of they're Mexican, I'm white, they didn't like me to begin with.
1:24:54🔗GuestFrom the first time I met his father was about six months after we started dating. All right.
1:25:01🔗DrewCan you just appeal to him just as a human being and say, does he speak English?
1:25:05🔗GuestVery little English. And I believe me, I've tried every angle. I've tried.
1:25:10🔗AdamAll right, listen. Anyway, what do they wanna do with him? Keep him on life support? He's got 50 days in a coma.
1:25:19🔗GuestThe other thing on top of this is that I found out that his father has been going down to his employer's office and demanding that he be, he is named in his life insurance beneficiary, which they can't do legally. I'm named as his life insurance beneficiary. So I have a feeling that's why they're not letting me visit him and there's a charge there.
1:25:39🔗AdamLook, here's what you're gonna need. I'm sorry, his family's a pain in the ass.
1:25:43🔗GuestWell, I can't afford an attorney if you're going there.
1:25:51🔗AdamThey have legal aid societies where they do pro bono work and they can help you out because look, obviously there's nothing we can do to straighten this out. Go to a legal aid society like Drew said, see if you can get somebody to do some pro bono work. Just do a little bit of leg work, get on the computer, get on the internet, see how these things work, see how the visitation things work, see how being named a benefactor for his life insurance and stuff works. And then, it's a mess, but there's nothing we can do and I'm sorry his parents are a pain in the ass.
1:26:35🔗DrewHey Adam, you know how guys have trouble with confidence and going out and dating and meeting girls? We have a solution. Axe Deodorant Body Spray.
1:26:53🔗AdamHey everybody, it's Loveline, I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. Let's hop back to the phones. Prozac sex drive, ex-girlfriend told him her kid is his. Just started getting headaches.
1:27:19🔗CallerYeah, you guys always recommend them, but you never explain what they actually do and how the heck you do them.
1:27:26🔗DrewWell, A, we don't recommend them very often.
1:27:28🔗AdamWe very rarely recommend them. How do you do them, Joe?
1:27:32🔗DrewB, they are merely contraction of the muscles of the floor of the pelvis. If you want to know how to contract or feel that contraction, try interrupting the flow of urine sometimes. That's the muscles. And you're basically supposed to do 10 rapid contractions, one, two, three, four, five, and then 10 prolonged contractions where you hold each for a count of 10. And you do like four sets of that. So rapid followed by the prolonged holding. Do that three or four times a day.
1:27:59🔗AdamAnd it's supposed to help you stave off ejaculation?
1:28:03🔗DrewFor men, some men, it may help control ejaculation. For women, it's supposed to give them more of a, more tone in the pelvic floor.
1:28:10🔗AdamSpeaking of that, when can I beat off again?
1:28:12🔗DrewI don't think there's any withholding on that.
1:28:24🔗DrewAnesthesiologist will poke out and wave at you.
1:28:27🔗AdamYeah, really. I mean, you know, now looking back on my strategy of making racial remarks to my anesthesiologist just before he put me under, probably not a great plan, not a great plan. John?
1:28:47🔗AdamYour girlfriend likes you to choke her during sex?
1:28:54🔗CallerShe seems to like it more like when I'm actually getting off at the end, you know, but throughout the whole thing. I mean, we can be in public and she'll grab my hand and put it on her throat.
1:29:03🔗AdamLet me say this. I know, you know, that's an erogenous zone for a woman, the neck. Yeah, they like biting on the neck. They like a little pressure on the neck. I'm not sure what that is. They like their, most women like their neck, like bitten or nibbled or gnawed on or, you know, it's, you know, that powerlessness feeling or, a powerless feeling, I should say. I don't know what that is, but obviously, you strangling her at a restaurant.
1:29:39🔗CallerI asked her that and she said no, never, or sexually abused or anything. And she often likes just being restrained in general, tied up, that sort of thing.
1:29:48🔗DrewAs long as it's not a necessary thing for her.
1:29:50🔗AdamYeah, and if it wasn't, here's the thing. I think this is kind of our rule. If your wacky behavior was not born from some abuse, meaning it's just kind of what you're into now, but you're not forced to do it based on some weird abuse of the past, we'll let it slide. It's like organic at that point.
1:31:20🔗DrewYour ex. Well, look, Prozac normally shuts people down sexually unless it induces sort of a manic state. So if you've been feeling manic, where you don't sleep a lot, you're making grandiose gestures and buying lots of things, I'd look into that. If, on the other hand, merely you're 16, you're with your boyfriend, you find you want to be sexual with him, that's kind of a normal feeling. So I don't see much abnormal with that. And having been raped sometimes makes people feel hypersexual as a way of trying to sort of resolve the trauma.
1:31:46🔗AdamAll right, well, good times. And I got the big green light on beating off, so I gotta hustle out of here.
1:31:50🔗DrewYeah, you gotta bring her home, yeah, I know.
1:32:43🔗AdamHey everybody. Well, that's the show. I gotta get going. I gotta drive through some of those red arrows, Drew.
1:32:50🔗DrewOkay. To get to your master-atory. Yeah, down Venice.
1:32:54🔗AdamAll right, Coppers, come get me. I wanna thank Engineer Anderson for putting in a good three quarters of a week. I wanna thank Engineer Ken for stepping in last second and doing a yeoman's job. Producer Ann for calling me on the job site. Oh, yes, I'm at work today. And Junior, Producer Loren for doing a fantabulous job. And of course, Engineer Chris O'Hare's got to hustle home because his mom is making him. Brian. Oh, what's that?
1:33:38🔗AdamShe's making quesadillas tonight. Quesadillas, no, she's got to head home. So, until next time, this is Adam Carolla for Dr. Drew saying mahalo.
1:33:50🔗CallerThis has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors or this station. The producer for Loveline is Annie Gold. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.