1:00🔗
Loveline with Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew.
1:12🔗
Adam
Dr. Drew is in Boston, following his little girl's ice dreams around. Phone number, 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1, Dr. Bruce, board certified physician, addiction medicine specialist. Does emergency medicine could remove a tant with his laser? Yes, from inmates?
1:37🔗
Adam
Okay, good. Okay, I'm just trying to get each other's shows going to go tonight and I can see it's going to be a long night for me. Justin Long is here tonight.
1:48🔗
Adam
Justin, that's fine. Here's all I need to know. That's my little test with Bruce and now I know what the answer is.
1:57🔗
Adam
I'm going to be here. We worked it all out. Justin is from Dodgeball, the new movie which came out on Friday and was, last Friday, and was number one. I was surprised because it seemed as quirky an idea for comedies I've seen in a while but it got great reviews, by the way, from everyone who's seen it and then Ebert, Roper, Siskel, or whatever the one who's alive but still had a stroke and the new one. Two big thumbs up, by the way.
2:36🔗
No, no.
2:39🔗
Good radio.
2:45🔗
Justin Long with Dr. Bruce
Yeah, it was a surprise to be getting those reviews. We sort of went into it knowing that we were making ideally like a Stripes type or Meatballs, which is my favorite movies growing up. I think we're just sort of surprised that the critics have kind of agreed that it was a worthy successor to those movies.
3:12🔗
Justin Long with Dr. Bruce
Well, it was called Underdogs originally, so I didn't have that reaction. Had it been called Dodgeball, I'll tell you, I probably would have said, Dodgeball, huh? I don't know. My first reaction to the script was, the part had been written for me, which was the most flattering thing in the world, never happened before, probably after this movie will never happen again. Of course, I flipped right to the part where my character was being described and it said, the same name as me, Justin Redmond, 15, skinny, gaunt, awkward, like every adjective you could like, palatosis, like tiny penis, like just the worst description for a human being, like receiving hairline, like no chin, and I was like, you take the good with the bad, I guess.
4:00🔗
Adam
And so the writer of the movie who was, I don't know who, Ross and Marshall Thurber, Supreme Court Justice, knew your work from Ed or from other theatrical releases?
4:13🔗
Justin Long with Dr. Bruce
He was a huge Crossroads fan. No, I guess he loved Ed and Galaxy Quest, he's a big fan of Galaxy Quest.
4:20🔗
Adam
Oh yeah, Galaxy Quest, by the way, one of those movies that every time you bring it up people almost defend it unnecessarily, like people go, yeah, that was good!
4:34🔗
Adam
No, have you seen it? Yeah. It's like, yeah, I liked it too. Well, you better like it! Yeah, I know, I thought it was good. It was good. People get, it's almost like they're ready for a fight with Galaxy Quest, because it was like this Tim Allen, Kirsty Alley, a Sigourney Weaver movie.
4:53🔗
Adam
And they thought, it was close when it came out now, it's very different. But there's like six Sigourney Weavers for everyone, Kirsty Alley now. But this was back in the day when they were neck and neck. It was a movie that people sort of thought like, and then it was, but it was a really interesting idea.
5:12🔗
Justin Long with Dr. Bruce
Yeah, it was. They marketed it weird. I remember they made like a goofy Tim Allen kind of, you know, it wasn't like.
5:17🔗
Adam
Yeah, people thought it was like Spaceballs or something. And it was really a clever idea that was well executed. And that's why people get really weird and defensive when you bring it up.
5:28🔗
Justin Long with Dr. Bruce
And people thought this guy ran into a guy the other day who was like, I saw Dodgeball, like real nerd, like Star Trek type guy. And he's like, I love the Galaxy Quest reference. And I was like, what? I'm sorry. I don't even know. He's like, come on. When you bump. And I guess I have a moment in Dodgeball where I bumped into William Shatner. And my character in Galaxy Quest was obsessed with a William Shatner type. Tim Allen was playing basically William Shatner. And I said, God, you know, I hadn't even thought of that. He's like, come on.
6:02🔗
Justin Long with Dr. Bruce
Who knows? Maybe he's. Ross is sort of like a frat nerd. It's like a strange hybrid of like, you know, kind of like a jockey type frat guy, but also with definite like geeky sensibilities, you know, I like to sit down.
6:16🔗
Adam
I was talking to someone earlier this week about all the stuff you don't know that you never put together like Arby's, the restaurant roast beef, you know what I'm saying, Arby for roast beef. Yeah, I'm sure the Arby is for is for roast beef. Just the stuff you never put together like the movie Raising Helen. It didn't strike me the raising hell part of it. It wasn't ironic. It wasn't. I thought her name was just Helen and they were raising Helen. It could have been raising Trisha. It would have made as much sense or the same to me.
6:54🔗
Adam
Yeah. And I'm guessing that the title was supposed to be ironic or funny or cute by raising hell, raising Helen. You didn't think of that either. Someone else said to me, no, of course that's what they did. And I was like, I had never put it together. I would like a list of like the top five of those things that nobody puts together. And the thing is, is they're all different for all of us.
7:33🔗
Adam.
7:36🔗
I was wondering if you, because you know how you can't get a high from like smoking weed, like a contact high.
7:43🔗
Adam
Well how you can, well, how you can get a contact high if someone around you is smoking weed? Yeah.
7:49🔗
Okay, I was wondering if you can get that same kind of high if someone is smoking like crystal in the room with you, even if you're not smoking it.
7:59🔗
Adam
Yeah, well, you know, whenever someone is getting high around you, even if you're watching a movie, like Rent the Movie, The Doors, and you see Val Kimler getting all effed up, you'll start feeling kind of groovy and psychedelic too just by being in the presence of someone who's getting effed up. What about what they're blowing out of their mouth? What about the smoke part?
8:17🔗
I don't know. She was sitting there and she was doing it and me and my other friend were on the bed and then I couldn't sleep like a day and a half after that. And I didn't know what was going on.
8:31🔗
I wasn't. I didn't touch it. And I didn't even see what she was smoking it out of.
8:38🔗
Dr. Bruce
You're fine, but it is possible. It depends on the ventilation in the room, how small the room is.
8:43🔗
Yeah, it was kind of a small room.
8:45🔗
Dr. Bruce
Methamphetamine, crystal, the vapors given off from that are very well absorbed across any mucous membrane.
8:54🔗
Dr. Bruce
All right. With methamphetamine, actually, with cocaine, you have to take the stuff people snort and change it into a base.
9:00🔗
Adam
But that's why, like, with cocaine, you can go for, like, the freeze. You just put on your gums. You can feel it, right? Or you put a little on the door if you want to lie on the floor here.
9:09🔗
Dr. Bruce
But with methamphetamine, you don't have to change it into it, from the salt to the base, with cocaine, if you smoke the stuff that people snort, you destroy it. You have to change it. With methamphetamine, either way, you don't have to do any chemical changes to it. But what she's describing...
9:41🔗
Adam, I love you.
9:45🔗
Here's the thing.
9:49🔗
I didn't know she was going to. She like brought these people in her room. We thought it was just being like a three-girl sleepover, and she brought these two guys in her room. And me and my other friend are like, oh my God.
10:04🔗
Justin Long with Dr. Bruce
Were they pillow fighting, but not like you want to hurt each other?
10:08🔗
No, we were laying on the bed watching School of Rock.
10:11🔗
Adam
And these guys were hanging around just sparking up the meth pipe and Jack Black was staying with the kitties.
10:21🔗
I was freaked out. I haven't talked to her since.
10:23🔗
I don't even want to look at her.
10:24🔗
She's like, oh, to me.
10:31🔗
Yeah, she's so ill.
10:36🔗
No, I guess I'm probably going to see her tomorrow and I'm going to tell her because that's not right. I mean, she wants to do that. I really, she's not the type of person she's going to do whatever she wants, but I don't know. That's not who I want to be around.
10:54🔗
Adam
You shouldn't... Here's the whole thing. The slumber parties should not involve meth. They should have, they should have like s'mores and maybe like a Mickey's big mouth.
11:07🔗
Dr. Bruce
And guys who ride up a motor Harley's with crack pipes or whatever. Not a good idea.
11:35🔗
Justin Long with Dr. Bruce
That I want to get into. Yeah. This just for me, Adam, just for me.
11:51🔗
Yeah. It's been off and on for like a year and I went to the doctor and he pretty much told me that the only thing he could think of was colon cancer. So they did a colonoscopy and he didn't find anything.
12:03🔗
Dr. Bruce
You're 23. Wait a second. You're 23 and you have blood anally and the first thing he thought about was cancer. It sounds like he needed some more business that month. The most common thing is an anal fissure or hemorrhoids, especially at your age. You certainly want to check. Was this bright red blood or was this occult blood, the blood that you have to test for in the stool?
12:22🔗
It was bright red.
12:24🔗
Adam
Now, what's the difference between the stuff that's in the stool and the stuff that's on the toilet paper?
12:29🔗
Dr. Bruce
Well, the stuff on the toilet paper is local. It's where you're... Yeah. It's there.
12:34🔗
Dr. Bruce
The stuff you're testing for in the stool. Well, it can be. I've had patients that...
12:39🔗
Dr. Bruce
Most likely, if you have a colon cancer, the blood is being released further back and it's...
12:48🔗
Adam
Yeah. That's right. It's the difference between the actual soft swirl ice cream and the colorful jimmies on top.
12:57🔗
Adam
The jimmies on top would be the fissures, would be the hemorrhoids, and the soft swirl itself might be the cancer, the colon cancer.
13:22🔗
Adam
Yeah. So Christy, so I'm sure he didn't say the only thing he could think of was colon cancer.
13:28🔗
He said that I could have polyps, but they did a colonoscopy and they didn't find anything like that.
13:33🔗
Dr. Bruce
Do you have a, you know, if you had a family history or there are certain genetic disorders that might predispose you to cancers that would make them suspicious, but a normal 23 year old with bright red blood, you certainly want to check, but it's not the first thing you think of.
13:47🔗
This is, yeah, it's bright red blood and it's not even mixed in with my stool, right? Right.
13:54🔗
Justin Long with Dr. Bruce
But she said her doctor told her this was the first, the first thing he said was, is it like, sometimes there's Woody Allen. Got to be a tumor.
14:03🔗
Dr. Bruce
A doctor does not want to miss a colon cancer. And with patients that are young and tend to write things off, they want to impress upon them the fact that that's something that needs to be considered in the differential diagnosis. So, but he checked her out. So, all right. What's the question?
14:19🔗
Yeah, I'm really worried.
14:21🔗
Dr. Bruce
Okay. Let me put your mind at ease. If you had a colonoscopy, you have absolutely nothing to worry about. An anal fissure, it's like a crack, so to speak, in this stay-in-the-ice-cream store. Let's see. The cone is...
14:37🔗
Dr. Bruce
It's like a waffle cone, right, with a crack in it. Yeah. But it's further up. It's where you can't see it.
14:41🔗
Adam
By the way, who's... You know, they would always do this. You want the sugar cone or you want the waffle cone. And the one was that sort of stale, dried up, sort of hollow one. And the other was the delightful one. Whose self-esteem is so low that they go with the waffle? Do you know what I'm saying? Or the weird stamped one that's stacked and everything? We used to get it at Thrifty's and at Savon. It was a crappy cone. It was far less superior of the two cones. But yet, they gave you a choice.
15:20🔗
Justin Long with Dr. Bruce
You're talking about, I'm still with the colon analogy, and I'm trying to figure out the sugar and the waffle cone. I feel like I have a waffle cone ass. But I used to work at Carvel and they would make us push the waffle.
15:32🔗
Justin Long with Dr. Bruce
Carvel, yeah. And they would make you push the waffle cones out of our ass, which they would make, like they would, they didn't want us giving out the sugar cone. Right.
15:44🔗
Adam
They pushed a waffle cone because it's stale. First off, waffle cone shelf life of 70 years, number one. Number two, I'm sure is imported from some third world country somewhere and just some slow boat from somewhere. And it clearly couldn't be as expensive as the sugar cone. And, and so, so how, but how do you push it?
16:04🔗
Justin Long with Dr. Bruce
Well, they would just, they would tell us to avoid the sugar. If the sugar cone came up, we would begrudgingly have to, I think, I think I remember they were like, well, yeah, we would have to say like, you know, the soft serve doesn't stay in the cone as well. But it's your choice. Yeah. And kind of make it like, like that.
16:19🔗
Adam
Plus I would, I would bet that eight times out of 10, if you said sugar cone or waffle cone and the guy said sugar cone, you could just serve it up in a waffle cone and hand it out.
16:30🔗
Adam
I wouldn't say anything. I wouldn't. I would just be angry. I would see all the way home.
16:34🔗
Justin Long with Dr. Bruce
I would be passive aggressive and be like, oh, nice, nice sugar cone.
16:38🔗
Adam
Really going to enjoy this. This is great. That's what I would do. And I'd be so angry that ice cream would melt in my hand because it would be hot.
16:57🔗
Justin Long with Dr. Bruce
Oh, I'm sorry. It's melting. I didn't order it on my hand. Thanks.
17:01🔗
Adam
I asked for the brown jimmies. Not the colored ones. Right. That's, that was me. That's what I did. Yeah. If we looked at the security footage, you would see that I said that. That's fantastic. That's right. So. Go ahead. So it's a sugar cone.
17:21🔗
Dr. Bruce
And the defect. Through which the blood is traversing is further up than one can see. So.
17:46🔗
Not really. I'm just really worried about it.
17:49🔗
Adam
But why so worried? You went to your doctor. He gave you the colonoscopy and you checked out.
17:54🔗
I don't know.
17:58🔗
I don't know how much the doctors screw up and...
18:38🔗
Adam
Oh, really? Oh, you can't tolerate it? Yeah. You had a bad dad? Your dad was an a-hole? Now, this guy's treating you good and you're freaking out?
18:50🔗
Adam
He was a good humor man. He was constantly on the run. All right. Trying to keep the ice cream theme going. Summer, you know, first day of summer, Monday. Trying to keep trying to weave it in. Program director said to keep weaving summer in. That's what people want to hear. Yeah. He said, Program director Pauli said, I said, people are tired of talking about AIDS and cancer and HPV and all this stuff. Try to weave ice cream into the call. But don't change the content of the show. So I'm going with the summer theme. Christy. Yeah. All right, baby. Here's the thing. You're depressed. It's not the ass that's at the top of your legs. It's the ass that's on your shoulders that's messed up. Know what I'm saying? That's the one that needs the enema. You see what I mean? You're depressed and you're going to freak your kid out. You're all worried and you're angry and you're depressed and your kid's going to get depressed. Nothing worse than depressed mama.
20:21🔗
Adam
Hold on one second. Let me just tell you the number. I'll tell you first off how I know people are angry. I get angry at them. If I get angry, that means they're right. Number two, I've been doing the show for nine years. Here's what people do who are angry. They give a two count before every answer and it starts pissing you off. It's not enough for you to say anything about it. It's just, so how old are you when you moved out of the house? One, one thousand, seventeen. It's a little, it's a little like, eh, eh, eh.
20:54🔗
Adam
It's a, four count means I hang up on your three. We never get to it. Pot smokers do that too.
21:02🔗
Adam
Chris, she's angry. You don't smoke pot. She's not a pot smoker. No, I'm not saying she is, but Chris, do you smoke pot? Uh-oh.
21:23🔗
Adam
And he treats you right, but you're having difficulty with it. What's wrong with a guy who treats you too good? And what do you mean he treats you too good?
21:31🔗
Caller
Nothing. I've just had really bad boyfriends in the past, and it's just really weird to have a good one.
21:36🔗
Adam
Right. And so now this is going to be tough, this intimacy. Because you're used to a little chaos. And you're going to inject some chaos into this relationship. You're going to cheat on him. You're going to start trouble with him. You're going to agitate him. You're going to shake him up. You're going to get him to a point where he starts yelling at you or throws something at you, because that's what you know.
21:57🔗
Dr. Bruce
Christy. You called with a question about rectal bleeding, and you're actually getting good advice from Adam, but some of his humor is a little bit raw or difficult.
22:09🔗
Adam
I'm not being funny. You're angry, and you're going to screw up your kid, and you can't tolerate this relationship, and you're going to screw this thing up.
22:16🔗
Dr. Bruce
Right, but if a therapist started the analogy with the ass, not the ass on your body, but the ass on your shoulders, I think that might have set her up.
22:29🔗
Adam
That's right. Where's your dad? Where's your dad? When's the last time you talked to him?
22:47🔗
Dr. Bruce
Oh, I think you're absolutely right. But I think until somebody asks the question themselves and is interested in hearing, I'm...
22:54🔗
Adam
What am I going to do? Call her back every two days and see if she's ready to see the light? I got 10 seconds. I can yell at her. And that's it. Listen, Christy, I say this with a great love. I really do. You're an angry person. You have the right to be angry. Your dad's a crackhead who abandoned the family. You have... And I wouldn't care what you did. If you didn't have kids, who cares? But you have kids. And maybe you're going to have more. You got to get some therapy and work this out, all right?
23:23🔗
Adam
Just take care of yourself. And then you'll be a good mom. And you won't drive this good guy away, by the way, which you will do soon, believe me, unless you get a little therapy.
23:34🔗
Dr. Bruce
Right. I think you're absolutely right. I don't think she is conceptualizing what you're saying. No, she's not. I don't think she understands.
23:42🔗
Adam
But look, it's... I got to tell people what the truth is. And then if they want to ingest it, that's their business. The fact that they don't have that ability is not going to stop me from delivering the message.
23:54🔗
Dr. Bruce
Absolutely. I'm just not sure I've seen you go from a physical complaint call jumping over into the...
24:04🔗
Adam
I knew what was going on. She's focusing on her ass when that's not the point. And when she brings a kid up, she's going to screw the kid up. And I can hear by the tone and her cadence that she's angry.
24:39🔗
Loveline will be right back, so get your problems ready, ready, ready.
24:45🔗
Every hour, two Americans under the age of 25 are infected with HIV. Protect yourself. Call toll-free 1-866-344-K-NOW.
24:58🔗
Adam
Yeah, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Bruce. Dr. Bruce is filling in for Dr. Drew and doing a fantastic job. Fantastic. Justin Long is here tonight for Dodgeball. Number one at the box office last week. Thank you. And I don't see it slowing down anytime soon.
25:24🔗
Adam
No, that's nothing. They got lucky. And let's just call it what it was. It was luck. The last Spider-Man.
25:36🔗
Adam
Yeah. One-hit wonder, like Chumbawumba, that tub-thumping song. They've come out with albums since then. We're not buying.
25:45🔗
Justin Long with Dr. Bruce
Not so bad, actually. I don't... I'm going to refute that analogy.
25:49🔗
Adam
I don't... I don't... Well, yeah, but they just got the one hit. They got the one hit. I'm just saying this Spider-Man movie may be good, may not. No one's going to see. No one's ever going to find out.
25:59🔗
Justin Long with Dr. Bruce
We already know what happens. We know that Tobey Maguire is Spider-Man.
26:02🔗
Adam
Yeah, we get it. We get it. You shoot webs from your wrist. Okay. All right. We saw it before.
26:10🔗
Adam
No, no, they've had enough. They've had enough of Spider-Man. They're not interested anymore. They've moved on. So now that that... Now that we've rationalized that away, who's next?
26:20🔗
White chicks?
26:25🔗
Justin Long with Dr. Bruce
Is it me or do they look monstrous? I mean, like I saw the... They look like monsters.
26:29🔗
Adam
Yes. It's... Look, we can put a man on the moon, but we can't make a six-three black guy look like a hot blonde. What is going on? Six hours in the makeup chair every day? I say she should have spent seven. I just like... I was talking about this early in the week, how you get superhuman strength when you're a man posing as a woman. When you sock a guy, he goes flying 20 feet in the air and lands on top of a building. It's like Marlon Wayans, 145 pounds. If he socks a guy, the guy does not physically lift off of the ground and goes sailing into the side of a building. Now, if he's wearing his street clothes as a guy, it's not going to do anything. But you put the heels and the kissing potion on, all of a sudden, superhuman strength. Yeah. They never do that. They always do that in the chick move, too. The ball goes rolling over to the person, hey, a little help. They pick it up, they throw it, the guy goes sailing into the backstop. It's like, how did you become so strong all of a sudden?
27:37🔗
Adam
I'm watching. I'm watching Dodgeball. I'm seeing Dodgeball this weekend. I'm going, I got to tell you, here's what happened. I was, I once saw the movies this weekend and I always go to that Arclight because they got the caramel corn there and they give you a signed seating and they take care of you. And I had some bitch ask me to take off my baseball hat. It was behind me, by the way. Let me explain. Yeah. Let me just show you something. This is, you know, this is that 50 something year old woman who just, these, they walk around with their head on a swivel, complaining about everything constantly tremendously repressed. These are the people. Yeah. These are the women who, you know, you see them walking their dog up in the hills and you drive by at 18 miles an hour in your car and they give you that look like you're a maniac.
28:20🔗
Adam
Who's this? Who's this scape? You've like you've jumped the wall at the institution. You've commandeered a vehicle. It's like, oh, yeah, it's like, yeah, I'm driving home. You mind? Do you mind? It's like, what do you want me to do? Get out of my car and start pushing as I pass you or stop and put some cones up or something. I've slowed down. I'm going back. It's just these women, you know, they're in a sort of constant state of they look like they just bit into a lemon that's all crapped in and they're just sort of, they're just sort of got that. And I said, I sat down in front of her. She was, she was seated before me and I sat down in front of her because it's a sign seating and I hear that like she's so disappointed. I'm like, well, it's, you know, 33 J that's my seat. It's like an airline when you go to the Arclight, they just sit you in one of those like Dr. Deuce hats would I, I was wearing one of the hats that the guards wore to protect the witch's castle on Wizard of Oz, a big huge fur bee feeder. No, I was, I was wearing, I was wearing this baseball hat and let me, let me just show you, I'm just going to do some, some head circumference math with you. This is me with the hat on by, by the way, three sixteenths of an inch above the skull. This is me with the hat off. The hair is actually, yeah, it is. I was going to say you should, you should be asked me to put a hat on when you sit behind me. I have the Brillo hat and she's directly behind me. Now the bill ain't tipped up like Gomer Pile. It's just, here's the hat. It's exactly how I'm wearing it.
29:59🔗
Adam
They don't wind up. I snapped it off because it hits the door jams, they're low though. The point is she's like, excuse, could you take your hat, like first off, listen sweetie people, do the math. There's less, there's less head with the hat on. This is essentially a shower cap. I could pull it off and look like, like Bernie from Room 222. It's an old reference, but the guy had big red, big red, a big red fro.
30:31🔗
Adam
She, she moved after I took the hat off and then, that's awesome. Then it was one of those, can I put the hat back on? I was thinking to myself like she's moved and you know, again, again with the, she's one of these women who's like got constant escaping of air. So put upon.
30:52🔗
Adam
Yeah. Okay. And it's like the way the Arclight is by the way, it's, it's, it's like, it's like a football save. It's like a steep rake on him and my head's like a full foot below her chin.
31:06🔗
Adam
She's like, the frill had popped up. It's like these are these people were like, oh, I'm, I'm sorry I was born. Would you like me to jump back up? My mom? I'll get her.
31:26🔗
Adam
Do you have to sit in your science seat? Listen, look, you want to look, listen, Elvis, why don't you buy out the movie theater then or shut the hell up? Sure she's playing about the prices.
31:35🔗
All right.
32:03🔗
Caller
So Adam, you are a genius. You and Drew have really raised me better than my own parents, I dare say.
32:10🔗
Caller
My question is about the girl I'm currently dating. We've been dating for six months. We've been having sex for the last two.
32:20🔗
Caller
Thanks. And at first she was just like sort of aggressive, like biting and stuff. But recently she's been asking me to like hit her and hold her down and stuff and like hold pillows over her head. And I was just wondering if like I should indulge that.
33:15🔗
Adam
Yes, sometimes you got to do what you got to do. I could just see out one like I wrote this script with you in mind, Justin. Justin grabbed it and the guy just hung on it and pulled it back to him slowly. That's that's how the behind the scenes broken.
33:31🔗
Adam
Alright, so so Kevin, this is here's what this is. She could have been a little now. Here's the thing. All women know most women like a little what we call rough trade. They like just, you know, they like a little tap on the ass. I like a little Who's your daddy? A little. Most women, right? Most women. But when it crosses the point when you're having to smother them, near asphyxiation, the pillow, then that usually means there's something up. So the question I would have for you is what's up? Did she come from an abusive background or anything?
34:07🔗
Caller
Yeah, I listen regularly, so I've been watching out for that. Her mom seems relatively normal. I never see her dad around. She doesn't really like to talk about it. I've never seen him before, but I hear he's present, but he's not really, you know. I come around a lot.
34:27🔗
Adam
Together, and he's just not around that much. Yeah, okay, so here's the thing, it's all about wherever that line is. Like I said, if she likes a little slap on the ass, fine, but it sounds like she wants a baseball bat and the asphyxiation.
34:45🔗
Caller
My concern, well, that's the thing, as a regular listener, I want to know what that line is. When do I stop indulging that?
34:55🔗
Adam
For me, it's the full Nelson. When they want me to get them in the full Nelson and then do like a pile driver on them or drop an elbow on them from the upper bunk.
35:07🔗
Dr. Bruce
With somebody like this, the focus of sex is more the pain and not, you know, the intimacy is sort of lost along the way and she's focusing on, she wants you to do specific things that are very painful or even risky. And one of the things, does she have insight into what's going on? And it sounds like you have an understanding.
35:27🔗
Adam
I'm bored. Well, look, here's the thing. Here's the thing. Here's the thing. You can't, if you, you know, people have sort of, these things will spin out if you indulge them. Right. Today, it's the pillow, tomorrow it's the entire sofa. You actually want a sofa dropped on her head and before you know it, you know, you're raping her with a table leg. Yes, I hate to get so graphic, but this is what, this is his next stop.
36:00🔗
Adam
And then you get her, you kill her and you get arrested. It's a disaster. Just reel it in a little. Like if she says, look, I want you to do this, I don't mind slapping you on the butt a little, but I'm not comfortable with this and hopefully you can contain her.
36:16🔗
Dr. Bruce
Somebody like that is not going to be satisfied with sex unless she's having more and more pain and that's going to become the focus of the whole sex life.
36:28🔗
Justin Long with Dr. Bruce
And then like the, I don't know if I should say this, exile, I was with a girl once who wanted me to pull her hair and call her daddy's little whore and I very, I couldn't, and afterward, I was asking her what she liked and of course, and she's like, yeah, if you could do this. And I said, I was like, pulling the hair part, I think I could do, I've done, and like, that'd be fun. And you get into that. But the daddy's little whore, and I was very delicately going to try to get into where it, a la an Adam or a Dr. Drew, get into where that comes from and, you know, knowing that there's something on the other side of that door, I was like, is there, I'm just curious where that comes, she's going to sleep and like, my eyes are like, you know, like in a cartoon, my, the eyes are the only things you see in the room. I was terrified. I was like, where does that come from? The daddy's little whore thing is that, and very casually, she was like, well, both my uncles abused me for several years and I'm fine with it. You know, it's nothing that, and she claimed to be fine. And I was like, obviously you're not, you know, if this is something that, and I couldn't touch her again, because I felt like I was perpetuating that line of abuse. You know, I felt like I was, and plus I just could never do that, pull someone's hair and out loud say daddy's little whore without either laughing or like, you know, flogging myself afterwards.
37:54🔗
Adam
Yeah, I had, I had, I did, I had a girlfriend say that she wanted me to, you know, say, say nasty and mean things to her. And I told her I didn't like her mom.
38:08🔗
Adam
I know, like, I don't care for the woman and she was angry and I'm like, dad, okay, this is nasty. This is this batter calling me a little minx.
38:19🔗
Adam
Well, I meant it. Here's a here's the thing. Kevin may not be equipped at 17 with his first girlfriend to handle this. This could be a tall order. On the other hand, he shouldn't flat out dump her. I think he should at least attempt to sort of contain it and see if he once in a while you can sort of if they're not too far gone, if their case isn't isn't terminal, you can sort of guide them toward the light a little bit by saying, you know, look, I'm not going to do that. I don't I don't I don't want to degrade you that way and blah, blah, blah. You might get another four months or or 11 humps out of the as I like to call it. I've measured hump years. Yeah, I'm not sure that's what Kevin has a relationship. But in that role, what do you think he was asking? And would you shut up? How dare you attack me?
39:12🔗
Caller
Well, I was asking because I've indulged her a little bit with like a little getting a little rougher and stuff. But I really wanted to know at what point should I stop?
39:21🔗
Adam
You should stop where you feel uncomfortable and it will spin. It will spin out of control. And next, you know, you'll be having sex with her corpse.
39:30🔗
Justin Long with Dr. Bruce
Hey, Kevin, don't you ever just say to her like, doesn't that hurt? Like, I don't want to hurt. Do you guys talk? I mean, is there a lot of communication going on?
39:37🔗
Caller
Yeah. Well, when I say like, you know, I don't want to hurt you or whatever, like start to back down. She's at first, she just goes with it and tells me again, and then she's a little put off by it almost, you know, if I don't, if I don't follow.
39:47🔗
Adam
Let me let me give you some sage advice. Don't get her pregnant. You're not going to marry her.
39:55🔗
Adam
Get your kicks in. Have a good time. Use protection and see if you can steer her toward the light a little bit. But that may be a taller order than what you're up to at this stage. She may be 10 years and 15 years, 10 years actually doing 15 years of therapy in that 10 year span away from being able to tolerate that intimacy.
40:21🔗
Adam
Because what this is fine. You have a fling, whatever you learn a lesson, but you get someone pregnant. Now you got crazy mama raising the kid, Justin Long here tonight from Dodgeball out in theaters. As soon as that flash in the pan, Spider-Man goes away. It'll be number one again this week. We'll take ourselves a Dr. Bruce, by the way, filling in for Dr. Drew. Take a quick break. Doing a great job. Great job. Great job. We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back.
41:15🔗
Adam
Hey, everybody, Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Bruce filling in for Dr. Drew, Justin Long here tonight from Dodgeball. Number one at the box office, and...
41:30🔗
Adam
And getting great, great reviews. Great reviews. All right, let's... I'm gonna see it. I'm gonna see it. Oh, here's what happened. I was gonna see it this weekend, but I always go to that Arclight theater, and they had The Terminal there. They didn't have Dodgeball. Oh, really? At the Arclight. Yeah, 13 movies. And there are two artsy-fartsy over there. They got that Kung Pao Soccer and all this crazy artsy crap, you know, subtitles. Give me a break. I want to read. I go to that place with the books, where they lend you the books.
42:22🔗
Adam
If I wanted to read, I would go to that place. But I don't want to read at the theater. I want to watch in here. You know what I'm saying?
42:42🔗
Adam
If you want to hear what a loser my dad was when I was growing up, he would actually rent vinyl records. Not rent, but check out vinyl records from the library. No, just take them home and listen to them. Imagine the shape they were in, too, by the way. Herb Albert. It's been checked out 7,000 times before he gets to it, scratching away and then bringing it back and they put these stickers on it, like with the little record saying, don't leave me in the car. Like the sad record, all melted, you know what I mean? Here's the thing, by the way. Just put the sticker that says, don't leave me in the car. I don't actually have to see the sad record who's melted. It's fine. I'm an adult. I'll do the math. I don't need to see the pouting record that's all wrinkly now because the sun got to it. Just put a little sticker on there. Don't leave it in the car. I get it. That's enough. I need the picture. Where are we going? Germany or Florida? That's the game. This is sweeping the country by the way. Brian? 17. Here's how Germany and Florida works.
43:55🔗
Caller
No, no. I had the 11-year-old mom. Remember I said I was asking you about if that would affect my development or not? Remember that?
44:23🔗
Adam
Well, here's the thing. He asked a bizarre question. He asked a bizarre question. First off, Germany or Florida. He asked a bizarre question or tells a bizarre story. We guess. Did it come from Germany or Florida? That's where all the bizarre... It's the hotbed for bizarre. It's either Germany or Florida. That's it. Those are your two choices. And by the way, I don't know why police don't just either, you know, when they come across a body that's where the genitals have been eaten or something like, all right, half of you go to Germany. We're going to Florida. Let's get this guy. Because it could only be in those two places. All right. So and your mom was 11 when she had you. Yeah.
45:15🔗
Adam
Right. And now it's cool because you can date your mom's friends. And it's not all dried up. Indeed.
45:39🔗
Caller
A resident of Blank was taken into custody late Saturday afternoon for indecent exposure. 60 year old Blank Blank was allegedly intoxicated, having spent the morning and early afternoon in a local tavern. Local police sighted him crossing the street at 448 PM completely naked and arrested him. Initially taken for jaywalking, he was held in custody later on for indecent exposure.
45:59🔗
Adam
Well, not the world's greatest example in Germany or Florida, because a guy got drunk and stumbled out on the street nude. I'm going Germany.
46:12🔗
Adam
And we got two, and he said Blank, which suggests maybe a German name. But you wouldn't say resident. We got two Germanies in one Florida. Which is it, Brian?
46:26🔗
Dr. Bruce
Because he wouldn't say a resident of Germany, he'd say a resident of Florida. He said resident.
46:46🔗
Dr. Bruce
See, I thought the 11-year-old mother giving birth was a Germany or Florida question.
46:51🔗
Adam
It is amazing. Although, his reading skills are pretty solid for a guy who was raised by someone who is younger than he was. Oh, yes. Oh, yes. Let's take a little break. Justin Long here tonight from Dodgeball. And we'll be right back after this.
47:49🔗
Adam
Hey, everybody, it's Loveline, I'm Adam. That's Dr. Bruce. Dr. Bruce, filling in for Dr. Drew and doing a wonderful job when the mics aren't on. Where is Dr. Drew?
48:02🔗
Justin Long with Dr. Bruce
That's what I want to know. I'm a huge fan, by the way, of Dr. Drew. He's always got an answer.
48:07🔗
Adam
Probably be best that, probably that he would be disappointed. He would be disappointed. First off, he's a picker. He kind of can't stop picking himself. Oh yeah. Oh yeah.
48:18🔗
Adam
He's a mess. Yeah, he can't stop. He thinks there's like bugs on him all the time. So, and then you got the gromatosis and the halitosis and the anus-tosis. He's a disaster. So you stay, it's just best that he lives on in your mind. You know what I mean?
48:34🔗
Adam
Yeah, it's like, it's like, In my heart. When the guy didn't make it home from Vietnam and the mom says he died a hero. You know what I mean? He, yeah, F4, he saved his wingman and went into the drink when really just he was stabbed by a Vietnamese hooker.
48:58🔗
Adam
That's exactly what I mean. But Bruce doing a fantabulous job. And later on in the week, or at least next week or something, I think we have a host, I think Dr. Marcel is coming in here. I think he's great, too.
49:19🔗
Adam
Dr. Marcel is great because he's a plastic surgeon and he has the year-round tan and the pinky ring and the Italian horn medallion. Yeah, they don't disappoint. He drives a Porsche.
49:34🔗
Adam
A huge medallion. Well, he can't fit it into the studio. Actually, it takes a refrigerator hand truck to get it actually out of the Porsche.
49:44🔗
Dr. Bruce
But I bet you show him some resect. He works with brass. He doesn't work with metal.
49:49🔗
Adam
He's a great guy. So if you have, but clearly there is a difference between the plastic surgeons and just the regular physicians. They are the pimps of the doctors. They wear the gold rope chain bracelets and that kind of thing. Plastic surgeons would be like ten times more likely to dye their hair, for instance, than a regular physician or emergency. Totally different cat. The guy who's working in the emergency room and the guy who's working on the implants. That's all. He's going to come in and he'll give us advice about breast implants or any kind of augmentation or nose jobs or any of that. So I think that's next week. And then Dr. Alter is coming in here, by the way. Dr. Alter, the guy who does the gender reassignment, who is a brilliant guy, except for the part where he lops off junk.
50:47🔗
Adam
Other than that, he's fantabulous and he's really sharp. He's one of the only guys that has a dual degree or certification in urology and a plastic surgeon. And by the way, to be board certified in urology and plastic surgery means you're hitting the books, but nutty is the day is the life.
51:10🔗
Dr. Bruce
I was going to say, you got to see, if you could have seen these guys in medical school, it would be very instructive, very interesting because you get the plastic surgeons, they're sitting there looking around going, hey, you know, I'm only going to, I learn just what I need to know for a short period of time.
51:21🔗
Adam
Plastic surgery is like how many roofies can I smuggle out of here so I can get laid this weekend? I mean, let's face it, the gynecologists are a little suspect too. Yeah, you got to watch those guys. So Alter, by the way, who's the one I always, you know, he thinks he's doing everyone a service because they bought into this whole, hey, it's a woman trapped inside a man's body. Like, we got to get the fire department to get him out, get the jaws of life. Oh my God, I didn't realize there was a woman trapped inside your body. Well, that's different. Why didn't you say so? Let's get that penis off right away and get you some breasts. Oh, I see. Woman trapped. Yeah, I'm like, no, that's crazy. That just means you're crazy. What if I said there's, what if Napoleon was trapped inside my body? What would you do? You get some surgery or would you just get me some therapy?
52:32🔗
Adam
Well, I mean, back when you used to do AM radio, you went by Dick Niblett, right? Dick Niblett. Remember in the morning? Don't remember.
52:46🔗
Adam
You had the whole jingle and everything. It was funny. Let's get to the phones. We got to get to the phones. So anyway, altar all up in there, we got like a gynecologist. This is your last night, right?
53:06🔗
Adam
That's right. Yeah. The grease man will be filling in for me. It's a old radio guy. Brianna? You're 18? What's up?
53:45🔗
Caller
Yeah. Well, I mean, I'll get one and then like he'll just stop calling me or I'll just the arrows. I just can't find one at all.
53:54🔗
Adam
You're 18. All bets are off. You can't give yourself these pigeonhole yourself at 18. You have some good relationships, bad relationships. There's quick turnover.
54:06🔗
Caller
Yeah, but I've only had one relationship in my whole life. In all 18 years I've been living.
54:15🔗
Caller
I don't know. Like my last boyfriend, we were together for like a year and then one day he just broke up with me and I was like why and he didn't give me a reason at all. He was just like because I need a break.
54:48🔗
Adam
You must have a lot of... Let me tell you something about Hooters, too. Everyone focuses on sort of the rack and stuff with the Hooters and the cleavage and everything and the name, but nice, they're tight shorts.
55:13🔗
Adam
What are they going with, just a wisp of yarn? What are they going with? I hope they're getting smaller.
55:43🔗
Justin Long with Dr. Bruce
And so guys never, but guys must constantly hit on you. Like isn't that kind of what it is, guys that go there to…
55:54🔗
Caller
No. I give people my number and stuff, but usually whenever, like, we start hanging out or whatever, like some people I like and then they'll just quit calling me or some people I'll be like, oh, and then I'll just stop calling.
56:07🔗
Adam
I can't use the F word. It's bizarre as it seems. I had to put her on hold because not what a hooter girl should be saying.
56:25🔗
You know, once in a while, one sneaks under the radar.
56:31🔗
Adam
But you know, it's sort of like once in a while you see a guy on the football team with a horrible physique. Like, it's like, how? He might, huh? Not all of them. I guess not. Maybe it's Dad's the coach. Like, yeah, once in a while, and boy, that's always, there really should be a children's book in there, The Ugliest Hooter Girl. Like, once all 20 of them come out and there's that one, and everyone's focus just goes right to the one with the fat ass because it's like, oh, sweetie pie.
56:55🔗
Justin Long with Dr. Bruce
I'm going to get her. I'm going to get her. My name is Raquel. I'll be your waitress this evening.
57:31🔗
Adam
Let me let me check on the fish tacos. I'm not sure if they're deep fried. I always like the part where someone's been working at the restaurant for four years. They got to check on something. Is that is that is that chicken burgers? Is that breaded and deep fried or is that just a flat? Let me check on that. Let me check.
57:50🔗
Adam
I don't have that. I don't have any range. Let me check. Let me check. You brought out 70 of them in the last 20 minutes. Check. Close your eyes. You'll see one when you close your eyes. Then check. Let me check on that. Yeah.
58:10🔗
Justin Long with Dr. Bruce
Maybe that's why it's hard because all her colleagues are these gorgeous hootish jacks.
58:15🔗
Adam
Yes. And here it's a relative thing. You would rather be a six in a sea of fours than a seven in a sea of nines.
59:03🔗
Justin Long with Dr. Bruce
I think I've boosted her confidence a little bit. You sound hot. That was so easy.
59:08🔗
Adam
There's nothing wrong with you. You got to watch out. There's going to be a lot of guys. You give their number to them. If you hook up too quick with them, they'll just look at it as a sort of disposable relationship. You know what I'm saying? But again, you're 18, so just take it slow.
59:24🔗
Dr. Bruce
What's your typical date like? Do you get past the first date or you don't even get the first date?
59:39🔗
Adam
She's 18, she's attractive, she had a boyfriend for a year who broke up with her. She had a boyfriend since she was 16 or 17.
59:53🔗
Adam
But you're supposed to be all over the map from the age of like 15 to 25 with your dating, with your relationships and all that. She's right in the sort of middle healthy zone there of trying to sort herself out.
1:00:07🔗
Justin Long with Dr. Bruce
It always amazes me when 18 years old and you're like, this crisis because you haven't found, you're having trouble. I don't even know what that means. When I was 18, I was, yeah, like I said, all over the map.
1:00:24🔗
Adam
Let me ask about this water, by the way. All I heard for, okay, here's what happened. I brought this up before, but it's been a while. Dietitians and diet experts and everybody and even lay people, all they would ever say is from 1970 to 1995, you got to drink more water. You're not drinking enough water. People aren't drinking enough water. Oh, and if you're diet, the first thing you should do if you're doing a diet, first, number one, most important thing, drink water. Hydrate yourself, drink water. You're not drinking enough water. It flushes the system out. Any diet is going to work better when you drink more water. There's all this thing and dietitians and doctors and health gurus and everything was always begging people. As Americans, we do not drink enough water. Then they would come up with these crazy things where you should be drinking eight full glasses of water a day and people don't nearly drink enough water. There's all this stuff. Finally, everyone started drinking water. Everyone started carrying water around. I mean, no one carried water ten years ago. You didn't have water sitting next to you in the car. You didn't have sports bottles. You know, people are walking around sucking on water all day. I mean, think about what your life used to be like. You would walk around with no water. Once in a while, you'd stumble across a drinking fountain. You'd suck some off a hose. You never drank water over the course of the day. When you left your house, what were the chances you'd have? Your mom, when she was driving around, was there water in the car? Only water in the car was in the radiator. There's water floating around the car. That was bizarre. So here's the thing. Now everyone is drinking a thousand times more water than they drank ten years ago, and everyone's put on 20 pounds. So what's up? How come everyone's getting fatter, but we're all drinking the water? And maybe the water isn't the big deal that everyone made it out to be. And how does that work? I mean, we're all these dieticians that just focus on a stupid thing like you got to do more, you got to drink, you got to hydrate yourself, you got to flush your toxins out. People don't drink. Americans drink too much. And then you start doing it. Nothing. You just get fatter.
1:02:24🔗
Dr. Bruce
Well, I think it's like people that are overweight many times, others will comment, oh, I never see them eating. And it's like I think also sometimes they take on behaviors of people they want to be like or that are thin. So I don't think those are the people that are actually drinking all that water. The people that have the weight problems. I think what's happened were more sedentary. There's much more fast food.
1:02:44🔗
Adam
Everybody, everybody's chugging more water than they were before. No, tenfold. You're disagreeing with me.
1:02:51🔗
Adam
You don't think Americans drink 10 times more water than they did 10 years ago? I mean, think about the industry. Think about the bottled water industry.
1:03:00🔗
Adam
And now, there's a hundred different kinds of tote water, you know, when you go to the liquor store, it dominates the freezer section.
1:03:09🔗
Dr. Bruce
If you work with people that have obesity problems, they tend not to have the taste for water. They're more interested in soda or something that's not...
1:03:19🔗
Adam
You have no answer. Just say you don't know. Say you don't know. What about the rest of America? How come America's getting fatter with drinking more water? It's not that big a deal.
1:03:38🔗
Dr. Bruce
No. You have to combine water with proper diet and exercise. And then it does aid in weight loss and maintaining...
1:03:44🔗
Adam
But it wasn't the magic cure that everyone... That they were yapping about 10 years ago, begging everyone to drink more water.
1:03:58🔗
Justin Long with Dr. Bruce
.about the fast food and our culture and how the ill effects it has not only on the body but on society as a whole.
1:04:14🔗
Justin Long with Dr. Bruce
I would prefer like 30 days of fast food. What happens? Dot, dot, dot.
1:04:35🔗
Adam
Yeah. It'll kill you. I just mean there's a bunch of stuff that everyone makes a big deal about, and then it just really turns out not to be anything. I'm angry.
1:04:47🔗
Dr. Bruce
Go off on the Atkins diet. All this carbohydrate. Everybody's avoiding carbohydrates.
1:04:51🔗
Adam
Well, look, easy for you, Ichabod. What do you care? You got nothing on you. You got veins coming out of your stomach. You got nothing. You got that Adam's apple sticks out further in your nose. You got nothing.
1:05:04🔗
Justin Long with Dr. Bruce
My mother called me the other day and she was like, honey, I'm very nervous. I want you to be careful when you fill up your car with gas because people have been blowing up left and right. Left and right, she said. I saw it on Oprah. People are blowing up all over the country.
1:05:36🔗
Adam
Yeah. 50 something thousand people die of second hand smoke. I mean. I mean, as a physician, you must see this every day.
1:05:47🔗
Adam
What about it being a first rate killer? What about second hand smoke being a first rate killer?
1:05:53🔗
Dr. Bruce
I don't understand it as a first rate killer. No one's adequately explained it to me.
1:05:56🔗
Adam
50,000 Americans, 56,000 Americans, not enough for you? Drew says he's never seen anybody for second hand smoke.
1:06:05🔗
Adam
Glad he agrees with me. He said he read a story, a statistic came out in JAMA and they thought as many as eight people died in second hand smoke last year.
1:06:17🔗
Adam
Right, yeah, but look at the billboard, 54,000 Americans, second hand smoke, first rate killer. Yeah, just do whatever you want. I've just really decided that you can just say whatever you want now. I'm going to just say whatever you want. I think there's more people getting... Why stop at 54,000? Why don't you just go 54 million? Why don't you say the population of China was taken out by second hand smoke last year? I mean, if you're going to lie, it'll go big. You know what I mean? Don't say you're all city in high school. Say you won the Super Bowl if you're out on a date and you're lying to a chick. You know what I'm saying?
1:06:51🔗
Justin Long with Dr. Bruce
We could have used that for the war. You know, Saddam Hussein was actually responsible, and not only did he have a stash of weapons, he's responsible for second-hand smoke and killing people.
1:06:58🔗
Adam
Yeah, you can see him with the cigar every once in a while. They've outlawed it on the beach.
1:07:07🔗
Dr. Bruce
You know, you got to get those public health people off on a different tangent. Like, what about contact high? Maybe they'll go off and worry about people. Yeah, crystal meth company.
1:07:59🔗
Adam
So, and do you... So. Like 95. It's from the center of the anus to just beyond the tip. Just beyond.
1:08:30🔗
Adam
Oh, yeah. Remember, it's hard to find the center. You gotta use the number two pencil sometimes. But from the center to just past the tip. Just past the end.
1:08:48🔗
Adam
Sounds very cool. Yeah, but she's petite. You weren't molested or anything, were you? I don't think so.
1:09:22🔗
Adam
It was pretty high. A few months. Okay. Why don't you do this, Ashley? Why don't you just take it slow? Are you in the 11th grade or something? And he's been out of high school for a couple years? Junior college?
1:09:37🔗
Valpo University.
1:09:41🔗
Valpo.
1:09:46🔗
Adam
All right. So let's see. He's a college student. He's a good guy? He treats you right?
1:09:58🔗
Adam
That's all right. And here's the thing. And by the way, you know, if it's tight down there, express it to him and tell him. You know. Yeah.
1:10:12🔗
Adam
Let me say this. I got a couple of things to say. You know, we have to consult the book every time somebody says how old they are and how old their girlfriend or boyfriend is, because in Hawaii, it's drastically different than it is in North Carolina, which is different than it is in California. Can we just go ahead and agree on a number? Right. You know, from instead of having it be a different number, state to state. And by the way, isn't it easy to screw up? I mean, if you come from a state where the age of consent is 15, and then you move to one where it's 18, and you grew up there, and then your job took you out to this other one, whatever it is, or you went to college somewhere, I was like, wouldn't it be easy just to screw up? I mean, could you even blame the person? You know what I'm saying? How about we do this? And another thing too is I can't figure out. I travel a lot and I try to drink when I travel, and some bars open at this time, and some states they close at this. Let's just do this. Let's standardize the whole thing with the bars opening and closing, and let's standardize the whole age of consent thing. Let's call it 12, and let's say bars stay open until 6 a.m. and open again at 6 15 a.m. following day. So again, 12 years old, 6 a.m. to 6 15. Okay, 13.
1:11:28🔗
Dr. Bruce
How do we say this diplomatically? Maybe the states that have a lower age of consent want to keep it that way.
1:11:36🔗
Adam
But what politician is going to campaign over that? That's my biggest point in my platform. I want to keep it at 13.
1:11:47🔗
Justin Long with Dr. Bruce
We die moral compass, Ashley. It's a little polonius to Ophelia.
1:12:13🔗
Caller
Sex and the City on TBS with five mates of great sex all this week. Then watch the very first episode next Tuesday at 10, 9 Central.
1:12:58🔗
Adam
I don't, and was the, oh, that's right, Stepford, here's the whole thing, like Stepford Wives wasn't good when it was on TV in 1972, like the movie of the week, like, is anyone... You wonder how this stuff works. I always wonder, you know, like when, I don't know, and I guess they make money off it, but when they go ahead and make Garfield into a movie or when they do even something like Scooby-Doo or something, like, that's kind of a crappy cartoon, that's 30 years old. Do people, do we need... Here's the whole thing about Scooby-Doo. It shouldn't have been made into a cartoon. F the movie, forget about the movie. It shouldn't, 20 minutes of Scooby-Doo is 19 minutes too much. That's all I'm saying.
1:13:47🔗
Adam
Yeah, maybe that's it or maybe they just don't know any better, but kids are stupid. They're like adults that are dumb. If you think about it, that's the way I look at kids.
1:13:57🔗
Adam
It's dumb or retarded sometimes. All right, Dodgeball though, there's an original movie. There's no cartoon they're ripping off. What do you think the budget was?
1:14:07🔗
Justin Long with Dr. Bruce
I think it was low, it was like 20 million. I know Ben Stiller took a back end.
1:14:14🔗
Justin Long with Dr. Bruce
Which is now paying off. I think it was like 20, 25, we made it back the first weekend.
1:14:24🔗
Adam
Well, if he took a little pay cut but got some of the back end money and the thing did amazingly, it was number one.
1:14:34🔗
Justin Long with Dr. Bruce
He's a great guy, yeah. He's just so funny in the movie, he goes so over the top for anybody who's seen it.
1:15:07🔗
Adam
Yeah. Ten miles of bamboo. God bless him. I think she's a beard. He must be gay. You can't be interested in women and be with that. It's a disaster.
1:15:27🔗
Justin Long with Dr. Bruce
Does she have more makeup than Marlon Wayans for the white chicks?
1:15:40🔗
Justin Long with Dr. Bruce
Maybe that's it. I gave her the benefit of the dollar. She played on a different field.
1:15:56🔗
Adam
No. You don't even have to talk. Right. That's your job is being hot. You become like a sculpture or something. You don't need to move around.
1:16:16🔗
Justin Long with Dr. Bruce
Oh, nothing. I just want to say, by the way, Dodgeball, excellent, excellent film.
1:16:34🔗
Justin Long with Dr. Bruce
My favorite part was when you guys were getting nailed with the wrenches.
1:16:39🔗
Justin Long with Dr. Bruce
I was making a joke, I'm trying to be, yeah. Sorry. What's going on?
1:16:44🔗
Justin Long with Dr. Bruce
Well, I've been with this guy for about four or five months and nothing too serious. I'm just not really looking for a very serious relationship right now. We kind of started getting down and we didn't have sex because we didn't have a condom. He likes his balls squeezed. I'm talking like white knuckled, painful squeeze, like really, really hard.
1:17:25🔗
Justin Long with Dr. Bruce
I don't know if this is like a normal thing. I mean, I just, I don't know, because I'm not down with the whole butt thing. I mean, that's the only to me.
1:17:35🔗
Justin Long with Dr. Bruce
You know, we got down and I just wanted, you know, I wanted to help him out because I didn't want to leave him hanging. You know, I was like, all right, so I'll do this.
1:17:59🔗
Justin Long with Dr. Bruce
I did. And he definitely got off on that. I just thought it was really weird and I was like, okay.
1:18:04🔗
Adam
Well, did he get off on it because it felt good or you just squeezed so hard something came out? It's like running over some toothpaste.
1:18:16🔗
Justin Long with Dr. Bruce
How do you pick up on the vibe that he wants his balls squeezed?
1:18:22🔗
Justin Long with Dr. Bruce
Yeah. No, he asked for it. He's like, yeah, squeeze my balls. And I was like, okay. And he's like, yeah, harder, harder. I'm like, are you serious? I didn't say anything, I was like, all right.
1:18:31🔗
Adam
Emily, what was going on during this? Was this, were you still watching Dodgeball or had you gone home?
1:18:44🔗
Justin Long with Dr. Bruce
We were doing pretty much every, yeah, oral sex. We didn't have a condom, so obviously we couldn't have sex. So we were doing everything but sex.
1:18:52🔗
Adam
So you were doing the oral sex, squeezing the scrotum and had the finger in the rectum.
1:19:24🔗
Justin Long with Dr. Bruce
Yeah, I mean, I was, I was actually performing oral sex on him. And then he was asking for these things and I did them and he got off.
1:19:47🔗
Adam
Well, here's what I'm saying. You ask this of Stiller's wife, you get a rolling pin across the head.
1:19:59🔗
Adam
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm not even going to get undressed. Are you high? You're so lucky to be with me.
1:20:09🔗
Justin Long with Dr. Bruce
Yeah. I was like, you know, I just didn't know if this was like a normal thing that I.
1:20:17🔗
Adam
He's 18. Yes. This is, this is ambitious. This is a man who has a strong sense of entitlement. Yeah. And here's, here's the whole thing about, let's, the, the, the, the bung and the balls and all that stuff. I find it distracting. Some guys are into it. A lot of guys, I don't know. It's a cross, I think, between, it doesn't necessarily feel good. They just try to see how much they can get out of somebody. You know, like guys who, here's the analogy I want to make. Guys who have plenty of money in their wallet and they're still haggling. And even though they know they couldn't get the car any cheaper, they've been to ten other dealerships, they got plenty of money, they're just doing it. It's almost a challenge. You know what I mean? They don't even like it necessarily. They just do it to see if they can do it. And I wonder sometimes the guys with the fingers and the nuts and a lot of the anal stuff and stuff, it's like they're almost just seeing how much they can get done with one woman, how far they can stretch them, how much they can sort of take advantage of them.
1:21:25🔗
Justin Long with Dr. Bruce
Was his history like that? Had he been with a lot of women? Was he sort of a stud?
1:21:29🔗
Justin Long with Dr. Bruce
Actually, no, he hadn't really been with a lot of women. He only been with, I think, two other girls before me.
1:21:35🔗
Dr. Bruce
Well, yeah, was he ever abused or does he have sort of a weird family of origin? I don't think so.
1:21:40🔗
Justin Long with Dr. Bruce
He had a pretty stable family life, like his parents still together.
1:21:47🔗
Justin Long with Dr. Bruce
Well, I just felt like, I was like, all right, you know, he went through all this trouble to try to satisfy me, so I figured that I should return the favor.
1:21:55🔗
Adam
But you giving him oral sex is, that's, you're off the hook. Yeah. You've paid him back with interest. You don't need the finger in the sack rub.
1:22:07🔗
Dr. Bruce
When he started with these requests, was this like the first time or second time he had sex or?
1:22:11🔗
Justin Long with Dr. Bruce
Oh, no, this was the first time we'd ever done anything like that.
1:22:27🔗
Adam
Here's the whole thing, ladies. You don't have to do anything you don't want to do. You really don't, especially if you're giving the guy oral sex.
1:22:36🔗
Justin Long with Dr. Bruce
Yeah. I mean, that's like, you know, God bless you right there. That's like above and beyond.
1:22:44🔗
Adam
No, I just, here's all I mean, is when you're giving the guy oral sex, there's no more requests. It's closed. I'm doing everything I can do or everything I'm going to do.
1:23:02🔗
Dr. Bruce
Yeah. But here's the thing. It's the guy's first time having sex with this girl he loves or he's involved with, and he's got to have the pain. I mean, it sounds like this is related to some sort of abuse.
1:23:33🔗
Adam
117. What a girl. All right. You're way too skinny to be indulging in this kind of bizarre behavior.
1:23:50🔗
Adam
I'll crunch the numbers. You stop crunching the sand. Everyone will be happy. Thanks, guys. You're fine. Yeah.
1:23:57🔗
Adam
Yeah. Here's the whole thing, too. And listen, everybody. Here's the goal when you're having sex with a woman. A woman is actually performing oral sex. Don't eff it up. It's really, it's like a job interview. Now's not the time to pick your nose and talk about stealing office supplies. Now's the time to clasp your hands and talk about Christianity. Later on, go ahead and steal a whole copier. You know what I mean? You got to get in the door. Don't freak them. You can't play, you can't play your hand that way. Just, I mean, it's like women on the first date don't start talking about starting families and getting pregnant and getting married and stuff because they know it'll freak the guys out. Guys, don't ask for the digit. That's a, that's a third date request, maybe fourth.
1:24:43🔗
Dr. Bruce
This guy should be just ecstatic and enjoying himself and he wants to get the vice out for his testicles now.
1:24:52🔗
Justin Long with Dr. Bruce
How far is it going to go after that? That's where it's starting.
1:25:02🔗
Adam
Well, I was just on the sack pressure. I think one of those things at the auto graveyard that smashes the cars into cubicles, he's running you to drop. By the way, what happened to that TV convention where the guy was trapped in the trunk of the car that was due to be smashed and their time was running out? Had to pull him out of the trunk. Yeah, they used to do every other Starsky and Hutch show that was in a car, we're going to compact it. It's just the whole idea of walls coming in, whether it was smashing a car or just something a Bond villain is. Star Wars. It's like, here's how I'm going to kill people. I'm going to take this very elaborate pneumatic and hydraulic, it's got thousands of hydraulic lines, pressure, it's going to cost hundreds of thousands of dollars, engineering, it's like, how about you just shoot him? No, I'd rather, this is much more important. Really it's going to, just the R&D alone on this is going to be hundreds of thousands of dollars. And we're, by the way, we're 14 years away from completion on this project. No, no, I'm going to invent this. Leave me alone. This is how I choose to kill. And with a gun, you could take it to them and shoot them. Here you got to get them over to the compactor.
1:26:12🔗
Adam
I'm making it anyway. Yeah. And then what about cleanup? If you think about it, you know what I'm saying? Have you seen a compacted body? No.
1:26:21🔗
Adam
You do not want to. It didn't make it to the ER. Dr. Bruce here tonight, filming for Dr. Drew. Doing a great job, except for when he talks. Justin Long in tonight. Fantastic dodgeball, number one, everybody. We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back. Hey, everybody. It's Adam.
1:26:50🔗
Adam
You spray that on, you give stink the Axe. Hey, everybody. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Bruce filling in for Dr. Drew. Justin Long in studio tonight. Dodgeball, name of the movie. We'll get back the phones. Let's really, let's see. Let's help some people. Yeah. Yeah.
1:27:17🔗
Adam
Let's let Heather. Heather? You're 14? Your friend was stabbed and killed? And you have nightmares about it? How long ago did this happen? It happened a month, it happened six weeks ago?
1:27:40🔗
No, I heard about it a few days before, so I know who did it.
1:27:46🔗
Yeah, I heard it, they were talking about it in school and nobody really noticed me, so I got to hear it, so.
1:28:00🔗
Yes, I told my friend about it, but he just blew it off.
1:28:10🔗
No, they didn't catch them.
1:28:15🔗
Yeah, but I have no proof that I actually know what happened, so I would just blow it off.
1:28:29🔗
Yeah, for a few years.
1:28:31🔗
Adam
How long? You'd known him for a few years? Yeah. And you heard guys, this is how one of these calls goes, we end up getting mired in some weird detail, wait, you heard guys saying they're going to stab this guy.
1:28:44🔗
They didn't particularly say stab, they said we're going to go get him and...
1:28:48🔗
Yeah.
1:28:49🔗
Adam
And you heard them because you were just around near them? Just they were talking at...
1:28:55🔗
We were passing around pretty quickly.
1:28:56🔗
Adam
At school, and so you warned them these guys were going to come get it, but yet he didn't listen, and then he got stabbed, and you know it was these guys.
1:29:06🔗
Yeah.
1:29:13🔗
Yeah.
1:29:16🔗
Well, they got them in court, but then they didn't have enough evidence on them, I think.
1:29:22🔗
Adam
All right, and what about you? Did you ever say anything to the police? No. All right. Were you scared?
1:29:29🔗
Yeah.
1:29:32🔗
No, I don't have enough. I think you don't need like material evidence, and I don't have anything. I just have what I heard, so.
1:29:39🔗
Adam
Well, you heard through, but it went all the way through the school that these guys were going to get this guy, right?
1:29:45🔗
There were like three people that heard this, so one of them.
1:29:56🔗
Adam
And did you just, is this a guy you just knew from school, or did he grow up near you or something?
1:30:01🔗
He grew up kind of near me, but I knew him mostly through school. I used to talk to him all the time, though.
1:30:08🔗
Yeah, every single night. I haven't been able to sleep, really.
1:30:15🔗
No, not really, no.
1:30:21🔗
I have no idea where to get anything.
1:30:22🔗
Adam
Well, because you might have a little bit of like a post-traumatic stress disorder or something.
1:30:28🔗
Dr. Bruce
Post-traumatic stress disorder is something that arises when you experience the traumatic event.
1:30:42🔗
My parents know, but they don't know what to do about it.
1:30:45🔗
Adam
Well, why don't you just tell them, look, this is something that's weighing pretty heavily on my mind.
1:30:51🔗
Dr. Bruce
Well, has there any? Well, wait a second. This is somebody that wasn't your best friend. I mean, it's upsetting when someone, when anyone dies. But is there anything else traumatic that's happened to you in the last few weeks or months?
1:31:01🔗
Yeah, quite a lot, but I can't really tell.
1:31:06🔗
Yeah, we're having very bad financial problems and my dad's really sick. So the hospital bills and.
1:31:14🔗
Dr. Bruce
If there's a lot of other things going on, that's symbolic of. Yeah. You need to go see somebody and deal with the whole thing.
1:31:22🔗
Adam
Maybe through the hospital, by the way, if your dad's really sick or school counselor.
1:31:31🔗
Adam
All right, let's talk to Leanne who's 18. Leanne. You're having sex with a 23 year old guy. You only had sex with one other guy. So what's up? Is he your boyfriend?
1:31:44🔗
Well, we started dating about three weeks ago. We were kind of just like hanging out and just a few days ago we started sleeping together. And prior to him, I had only been with one other guy. And it was like almost two years ago because I'm almost 19. And so right now I go to school in North Carolina. So I already finished my first year of college. And I'm just kind of back in California for the summer. And so I was never really intending to sleep with him. Like, I mean, I just wanted to go out and have fun. And I think he knew that. All right. What?
1:32:17🔗
Well, I don't know if I should still sleep with him.
1:32:23🔗
Well, we were dating and we never really said like, hey, you're my boyfriend or hey, you're my girlfriend.
1:32:31🔗
I don't really want. I mean, I just don't want to feel like I'm a booty call.
1:32:39🔗
So I just shouldn't sleep with him at all anymore?
1:32:42🔗
Adam
Well, no, I just mean either have a relationship, like you sleep with people you have a relationship with.
1:32:49🔗
Yes.
1:32:52🔗
Well, I don't want to start like I don't want a serious relationship. I kind of want some casual.
1:32:57🔗
All right.
1:32:58🔗
Adam
Just handies, just handies, just hand jobs. That's it. That's all. That's a quick way to stop. We got to take a break. I can't help everybody. Justin Long here tonight. Going to be on Jimmy Kimmel Live tonight. Just about eight or ten minutes.
1:33:14🔗
Adam
Yeah, he's going to tell his raving story. We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back.
1:33:35🔗
Caller
Adam and Dr. Drew will be right back on Loveline. This hour brought to you in part by Axe.
1:33:49🔗
Adam
Well, that's the show, everybody. Yeah, we could find out when Justin decided he wanted to do it, but...
1:34:04🔗
Adam
Bruce, better question is, when did you know that you didn't want to do radio? Yeah, was it yesterday when you showed up? Nine minutes late to your national radio show? Nine minutes?
1:34:23🔗
Adam
There's great love. There's great love. Dr. Bruce, doing a great job filming for Dr. Drew. Drew, if you're listening, don't come back. We don't need you. We found our new guy and he worked for Penny's on the dock.
1:34:35🔗
Adam
Mike, still hot. Still hot. Justin Long, Dodgeball everybody. You'll come on next time and tell us when you knew you wanted to get in the show. So, until next time, this is Adam Carolla for Dr. Bruce. Saying mahalo.
1:34:57🔗
Caller
This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors or this station. The producer for Loveline is Annie Gold. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment. Yeah, yeah, yeah.