1:03🔗
Voiceover
Hey everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Dr. Drew, board certified physician. Take your best, blah, blah, blah. Nicole Richie is here tonight from The Simple Life 2, the Road Trip edition, which is coming out this Wednesday at nine o'clock on Fox. Just saw some promos for it when I was watching that Casino show. Looks like Fox has another hit with that show. That Mark Burnett, kind of a genius, wouldn't you say? Yeah.
1:38🔗
Adam
It looks good, yeah. Burnett doesn't do their show. I don't know who does your show. That's not Mark Burnett, right?
1:52🔗
Adam
Yes. Wow. Well, what's next, Drew? And Hollywood? Producer? When do you find a gay publicist? I'll tell you what's next. All right. The Simple Life. Now, so here's what goes on. This year, they take it on the road, which is actually a good idea because last time you had to stay in that sort of farmhouse and there are all sorts of hijinks, but on the road, it's endless. Yes.
2:18🔗
Nicole Richie
Well, the first season, and Paris and I are both busy bodies and we just we get very antsy. And the fact that not only do we have to stay in Arkansas the whole time, but we had to stay with that family and we had all these rules and these curfews and stuff like that. I mean, there were points where during the day, they just wouldn't let us go like to the mall just because because they just wanted us to like sit there or whatever.
2:42🔗
Nicole Richie
Well, you know, I mean, they're the producers. No, the family was like, you guys just need to spend family time. Yeah.
2:56🔗
Adam
And yeah, that that ship has sailed a long time ago. They should have got in on you guys when you were 11 and 12.
3:03🔗
Adam
Now forget about it. How do you undo that? I mean, I mean, it's just it's it's a it's an interesting question, which is, is if you're a child and the child is used to certain lifestyle, some call it a privilege, some call it a little a little reckless at times, maybe a little irresponsible. Well, whatever it is, the kid is the captain of his own ship. The kid does not doesn't say, what do you want me to do tonight, dad? Or when's my curfew? The kid does. Once that kid does that, it's really hard to reel them back in.
3:37🔗
Nicole Richie
Well, they're 14 and 15 and still growing, then that's fine. But I mean, we're adults and I haven't just had that kind of authority since I was 11 years old. So that that was a little bit of a problem. We that it wasn't planned or anything.
3:53🔗
Adam
So, yeah, the farmer, John, needed to get to you when you were wearing jammies with the flaps on.
3:58🔗
Drew
And I think I think you probably could change somebody if you hung on to them until their libido started falling at about 42.
4:04🔗
Adam
Yeah, no, no. What what happens is, is people then change later. They find Jesus Christ or they OD or they have a couple of divorces or whatever. Whatever it is. So if you don't. So here's the moral of the story, parents. You got to catch catch your kid between like zero and maybe 12. You don't catch them between zero and 12. Then you got from 12 to maybe 42. And then somewhere around 42, they start slowing down a lot. So it's a tough 30 years sometimes in between. It's a tough. It's a big window. Could be tough, tough parenting. All right. So leaving Miami, heading to heading to Beverly Hills. In Winnebago.
4:47🔗
Adam
Oh, Airstream. Oh, yeah. Old school. Yeah, that's right. That's right. And how many stop is is each episode a stop or each stop an episode or there's multi-stop?
5:08🔗
Adam
Nicole brought her. I may have queefed, actually. Nicole brought her dog in. Drew smells number two.
5:24🔗
Adam
Scared the S out of him. Leave the poor dog alone. What's the dog's name? Honey Child. Honey Child. Don't mind the big, scary man who only gets $10 an hour and lives at home. Like the way I seamlessly weave that into almost every conversation. You didn't even see it.
5:41🔗
Adam
All right. All right. So, all right, Drew, stop obsessing with the dog. So, okay. Nicole and Paris leave Miami. Twelve episodes? How many episodes?
6:12🔗
Nicole Richie
It was fun. It definitely was long. There's no, because we're in an airstream, there's no unpacking and stuff like that. And it was just really cramped because it was Paris, me, our two dogs. And also, obviously the audience can see this, but there's a camera guy. There's a sound guy and it's we're in like the smallest, smallest space.
6:30🔗
Adam
Let me, let me just give this observation on the lap dogs. You guys are getting our early jump on those lap dogs, because historically it was only like Ja-Ja and Ava Gabor, you know, 65 plus. Here's how lap dogs are supposed to work. After a good 65 years of living, you decide this dog is the most important thing in your life. It's usually after multiple divorces. And then eventually you get in a fist fight because they won't let you bring it on the airplane. But by then you're into your late 60s.
6:59🔗
Drew
Although it's been a new member, we had Deborah Harry bring her, were you here when she tried to bring her dog up?
7:10🔗
Adam
Oh, really? Yeah, well, this is what happens. What happens is, is you get attached to a lap dog, the lap dog just becomes, it's like your belly button or your nostril.
7:25🔗
Adam
What about the person next to you? Like, what if someone's allergic to dogs? And how come I can't get any goddamn peanuts on a Southwest flight because some pussy called in and said their kid would go into anaphylactic shock by opening some peanuts. You're going to fly with your dog?
7:40🔗
Yeah, whatever.
7:47🔗
Not about the dog.
8:01🔗
Adam
Yeah. So but you can't fly with a dog. You have to fly first class. Can you fly business class with a dog?
8:11🔗
Nicole Richie
I've flown business class, but I can't. I haven't flown business class with the dog.
8:15🔗
Adam
I know maybe I'm dwelling on this too much and then maybe there's certain things in life that confuse me. But the idea that, you know, you can't bring your toenail clippers on board and you can't be trusted with their actual fork. You get a spork, but you're bringing your dog with you.
8:36🔗
Nicole Richie
You bring a medical slip with you saying this dog is certified to fly. Carry it in a purse. You have to.
8:47🔗
Nicole Richie
You have to carry the dog in a purse. Or, I mean, some people have a dog carrier, but most people that fly.
8:53🔗
Nicole Richie
Something, yeah. And for landing and takeoff, they have to be under your seat. And then I just, she's, I mean, the thing about lap dogs is if they're with their moms, they're just going to sleep. So it's not like they're barking or running around or anything. She's all good.
9:09🔗
Adam
It makes perfect sense, except for the part where they tell you, like, if you lit up a cigarette in the head, you would be, it would stop the plane and arrest you. But Nicole's got her dog out.
9:26🔗
Adam
It really, it really is. It's like not sure what you can and can't do on the plane anymore. All right. It's weird. And the whole thing with like airports and planes general is just like if you got to ask the answer is no. Right. It's just no. You just can't do it. That's why it's funny. That's why the dog thing seems funny because they don't let you do anything. But let me let me let me tell you this. I didn't want to get into but you know, we just got back from Europe a week ago and it was a huge hassle. So you want to do anything, change anything or move anything or whatever. I mean, everything's a disaster. All right. All right. Simple Life 2 hits hits the road, hits the road Wednesday at 9 o'clock on Fox. And then high jinx will ensue.
10:12🔗
Drew
I've been seeing the promos where you're at the sausage factory that that air stream is pulled by a car, right?
10:27🔗
Nicole Richie
Paris is driving. And actually, it's illegal to drive with you in the back with us in the back. Yeah.
10:33🔗
Adam
Unless you're filming an episode of I Love Lucy from 1952, right? Then yeah, then you can get in that airstream because I think that's what Lucy took to California, by the way. All right. So we'll look out for the dog. Once the dog starts farting, he said the dog's gassy.
10:57🔗
Adam
People have way. You know, it's a decent point. It's a decent point. But people. Well, here's the thing, though. You have to encounter people on the plane. You don't necessarily have to encounter the dog and people would excuse themselves, perhaps through if you had gas.
11:19🔗
Nicole Richie
Right. Then you do yourself. If I farted on a plane, I wouldn't turn to the person next to me and be like, excuse me. I farted. I would I would lie or get up or go to the bathroom.
11:27🔗
Adam
That's what I mean. You would you would excuse yourself to the bathroom. I don't mean you would make up an excuse after you blew wind on the guy next to you. I mean, you would excuse yourself to the bathroom. That's what I meant. All right. Let's a. Honey child, honey child, Shannon.
12:19🔗
Caller
My mom's around. My parents were divorced, but they were really close as well. And he, um, I moved back home with my mom and he actually moved in with me and my mom.
12:34🔗
Caller
Um, yeah. My sister, yeah. My brother's kind of just handling it in a really, like, different way, or he just, like, jokes a lot. I don't know. All right.
12:46🔗
Drew
Well, the problem, Shannon, is you still aren't even really opening to the idea that he's gone. That's what she said last night.
12:53🔗
Adam
Well, that's why I'm saying really, because it's horrible radio to do that. No one was listening last night at 12, and then again tonight. That'd be two days in a row. We have an every other day policy.
13:08🔗
Adam
Here's the deal. You can listen Sunday, Tuesday, and Thursday, or you can go the Monday, Wednesday route. That's how we break it up. Otherwise, we've got too many people listening. What the hell is the dog doing with its tongue? What is that?
13:27🔗
Adam
Yeah, but it flattened out like a diving board. It stuck right out. He did that on purpose. That was an attack. You see him giving a stink eye, Drew?
13:40🔗
Drew
So Shannon, really the first order of business is really letting yourself come to terms with this. And the only way that's going to happen is with the support of other people. Do you have enough support?
14:01🔗
Caller
Well, I mean, he was in a hospice program, and I don't know, they called today, but I didn't talk to them, and they just kind of wanted to know when the services were.
14:10🔗
Drew
There are usually bereavement groups through hospice you can get involved with. And you will find you're resisting it because you don't want to come to terms with it. And that's natural enough. All of the avoidance and resistance is all the fact that you want to stay in this place where you can sort of magically believe he's going to return or that he hasn't really gone. That's not a healthy place to be. That is a place that will become very depressing rather quickly and potentially pathological. So go to a bereavement group, get friends around you, just slowly kind of let it in bit by bit as you can tolerate.
14:41🔗
Adam
Let me ask you this. How much of... You know, we have this sort of theory that you recover from emotional trauma, sort of like you recover from physical trauma, which is, you know, guys do that thing where they go, oh man, if he wasn't in such great physical shape, he never would have survived that motorcycle accident. You know, it's just that he was in phenomenal shape. You know what I mean? So you're in good shape going into the accident. It helps you recover after the trauma.
15:14🔗
Adam
Right? I mean, anybody is going to have a grief in a period of mourning after the loss of a loved one. But if you're depressed already, you may go into a serious tailspin, right?
15:27🔗
Drew
Or if you have some conflicted issues about dad or some unfinished business, yeah, it can really become very acute.
15:39🔗
Hello?
15:46🔗
How?
15:52🔗
Sorry, I was on speakerphone. Liar, liar whore, liar whore, you know it.
16:01🔗
Well, I heard you talking about Stegna, like that thing on your uncircumcised penis a long while ago. Sure. And I just, like, I had it. I just don't know how can I get rid of it.
16:20🔗
Yeah, how'd you know?
16:23🔗
Nicole Richie
Because most people that are uncircumcised are European. I hope so because I don't understand the American that's uncircumcised. So you're European. So you can't get circumcised.
16:44🔗
Why aren't you circumcised?
16:45🔗
I was born in Hungary and then I moved to America.
16:56🔗
Adam
It's a pretty decent number located in Hungary. It does seem squirrely though. All right, speak some Hungarian to me.
17:11🔗
That means I like you a lot or something. And I have one more question.
17:19🔗
No, I hate it. It tastes like crap actually.
17:29🔗
No, they say paprika.
17:32🔗
The only thing I like about Hungary is the hot chicks there.
17:42🔗
Yeah?
17:49🔗
Really? Yeah.
17:57🔗
Sure.
17:59🔗
Adam
Listen, I know he's Hungarian now. I believe him. Because you're right. Him actually naming a country and then naming a capital of a country is way out of the range of one of our callers who didn't actually live there. You know, and I think about this all the time. Like, somebody could say, where are you from? And you could easily name a country and you could easily name a city in that country. Or you could make up a name that we never heard of because obviously we don't know every city that's in Hungary. We probably know two, you know. So yet way too tall in order for anyone who calls this show or got fit to plan a name in a country. That's right.
19:03🔗
Adam
But everything. I mean, you get jock itch. You got whatever it is. You got to get air down there.
19:17🔗
Adam
That's what I tell people. I mean, you got to clean it out and you got to protect it. But like when you go to bed at night, shouldn't you take the band-aid off and let's get some air on?
19:26🔗
Drew
I have a problem with nurses with wound care, where they always want to put ointment on everything that's open.
19:34🔗
Adam
Absolutely. All right. So clean the dung and hang it on the line or throw it in the dryer and put on a tumble.
19:58🔗
Adam
You know what I mean? As a six-year-old dude, how long could you be alone with your junk before you run like, hey, wait a minute, I got an idea. That's why as a guy, you can't, as a guy, can you take a bath before the age of 30 without beating off? You can't do it. You know, you know why? Because you go like, I'm just going to take a bath. I think I'll take a bath. It'd be nice to take a bath. And then you just lie down in the bath, you go this relaxed. You're like, oh, there's my dick. Yeah, I'm just going to light a candle. Look at this kind of buoyant. That's it. I'm beating off. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. I'm done with the water. Ah, screw it. I'm just beating off. I mean, right, how much time can you spend alone with your penis before it's time to beat off? 3.8 minutes. You got some jeans on, shower's fine. You're doing your shit. You're busy. You're busy. You know, your hands are moving.
20:48🔗
Drew
It's an interesting indictment on your psychology that you have to be busy or you begin masturbating immediately, especially if you're alone with your penis.
20:56🔗
Adam
Well, that's why I keep the pen in my left hand. Yeah. Because the second I put it down, the hands just slide right onto the console. Who are we talking to? Bridget?
21:12🔗
Caller
I haven't had my period in almost 10 months now. And I've been having some symptoms of menopause. Like night sweats and like hot flashes and no sex drive whatsoever. And I'm just wondering if it's possible for me to go through menopause at my age?
21:40🔗
Drew
You could have pituitary tumors, you could have thyroid conditions, all kinds of stuff that can go wrong, but it's not menopause. Why haven't you gone see a doctor? It's been 10 months.
21:55🔗
Adam
Hold on a second. This has got to be an abuse survivor. Something. Whenever you hear that bad excuse, I mean bad experience excuse thing, it's always weird.
22:16🔗
Yeah.
22:19🔗
Do I?
22:25🔗
Right.
22:32🔗
Yeah, they're kind of. Oh, sorry.
22:35🔗
Yeah, sorry.
23:11🔗
Drew
What happened before that? So every interaction you have with a male is going to feel like somebody trying to rape you. And look, the doctor is just trying to do their job. You need to get in there and get this taken care of. Yeah, get it taken care of. If you're having a varian failure, you can end up with bone disease, all kinds of fertility problems. If this is a pituitary tumor, it can get out of hand. There's a lot of things that can go on here. Let's go ahead and get this taken care of, all right? All right.
23:41🔗
Caller
Yeah, yeah, I'm doing that. I'm doing that. Yeah, it's good though. I've had my relationship. I've got a great relationship. And it was six years on the 1st of June.
24:06🔗
He's 47.
24:14🔗
That's exactly the way I feel.
24:57🔗
Caller
He doesn't want to have children and doesn't want to get married, so he thinks that he's holding me back.
25:22🔗
Caller
Actually, he died about eight years ago and I was pretty happy, but I don't know. I've talked about it a lot in therapy and I've let it go as much as I can.
25:34🔗
Drew
Go take yourself, take care of yourself medically. It's called oligomanorrhea or amenorrhea. It needs to be evaluated. It's not menopause.
26:00🔗
Adam
And I read sort of No Childhood and some of the others. The screen says 23, no sex drive, night sweats, hot flashes, menopause. That's in question mark. There's no abuse. There's no anything in there. And people always want to... They're always like, why do you guys... Why do you say... Why do you make everyone abuse? I wouldn't make her abuse. Her step grandfather made her abuse and her alcoholic mom made her abuse. We're just trying to get to it.
26:35🔗
Adam
She made us feel it. And when she made that crack about not wanting, you know, having a bad experience with the doctor, then I knew...
26:54🔗
Adam
All right. Nicole Richie here tonight. We'll take a quick break from The Simple Life and.
27:10🔗
Every hour, two Americans under the age of 25 are infected with HIV.
27:19🔗
Adam
It's Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. Nicole Richie is here tonight. The Simple Life 2 Road Trip is going to premiere June 16th at 9 p.m. on Fox. And the girls are in a Airstream and they're leaving Miami and they're heading to Los Angeles and Beverly Hills to be more exact. And what about the third installment? Any talk about that? Have you started thinking about ideas?
27:50🔗
Nicole Richie
Seriously have not thought about it once. We just, I mean, Simple Life 2 hasn't even come out yet. So we're just going to see what happens. We didn't even start doing the second season until a year after the first.
28:06🔗
Adam
Well, wouldn't they, you don't have any idea. I mean, obviously now they moved it from the farmhouse to the trailer, so now you got to move it again.
28:20🔗
Nicole Richie
Also, I mean, for Paris and I, I mean, our biggest thing is that we both have careers that are trying to take off. We don't want to be reality stars for the rest of our lives. So for us to just, it'd be one thing if we could do the show and kind of be on the phone and do what not. But the whole point of the show is that we have no phones. We have no form of communication. To shut your life down for six weeks is a lot, especially when you're doing with two different people that have two different careers. You know what I mean? It's just, it's, it's, it's, it's gotta be hard. I'm working on an album. I just finished a movie called Kids in America. I'm doing a book and have a makeup and.
29:14🔗
Caller
You should make a cologne line that smells the way you do after, the way you do after you skip rope.
29:25🔗
Adam
Yeah, it's the same chicks who like the Smegma. They're in Hungary. They're not out here. We don't like stinky dudes out here.
29:33🔗
Adam
You know, my problem really is, is that I don't stink and that I take advantage of that and by not showering enough and, you know, not having the kind of hygiene.
29:47🔗
Adam
Yeah. All right. Let's talk about how you and Nicole, how you and Paris get along, by the way, because you're probably don't start fighting being in the same trailer for so many people.
30:00🔗
Nicole Richie
Don't get how how we didn't fight. But let me let me just put you in the situation would happen. It's yeah, everybody else, whatever family we're staying with. I mean, we stayed with like this black gospel family, right. And they're preaching Christianity and don't curse and all this stuff. And and Paris and I are like sisters. We've grown up together since we were two, so I'll look at her and like she's the only person that can understand what I'm thinking without me even saying anything. And at a lot of times it's like it's us and then it's them. So you guys are like each other's support.
30:37🔗
Adam
Now, it's an interesting, you know, sociological experiment, which is if you give the two girls nothing to do, eventually they'll probably start going at each other if you give them a common foe, they'll sort of team up and unite.
30:53🔗
Nicole Richie
Also, I mean, it's not like I'm like the real world and stuff like that. They don't know each other. So they're just starting to get to know each other. I mean, I've we've grown up together. So there's there's nothing new about being with her for a long period.
31:17🔗
Caller
Oh, just my question. I want to know how you feel about the head member. If I need to build on me because not so much. I mean, he is a lot smaller than the last guy I was with.
31:40🔗
Caller
Well, the last guy was with me. I don't know how this, you know, how the whole the black man thing. But I was with a black guy before and this guy's white. And, you know, not that that holds true every time. But the guy was like nine and thick and this guy's not even cool.
32:08🔗
Adam
Quite down. Why America thinks the black man has a larger penis in the white man. Well, no, it's a few things.
32:23🔗
Adam
Perfect. Anything else? Let's get back to the phones. I'll give my theory later. No, that's you're you're right. Erica. Yes. I'm not being sarcastic. I'm just tired. Erica, you're 18. Guys got a big black penis. The old guy.
33:05🔗
Adam
Look, is she just screwing with this guy? It really does sound like I had my ex-guys, black guys, twice as big, this guy's less than half as small.
33:18🔗
Adam
You bring up a decent point, Nicole does, about the kegel exercises. She knows what kegel exercises are. Her reply is, that's not going to make his penis bigger.
33:30🔗
Nicole Richie
Well, it'll make you feel it more. I mean, there's nothing you can do to make his penis bigger.
33:34🔗
Adam
Well, she's... Okay, let me explain what's going on with Erica. I'll give her a couple of choices. A, bogus, which means there's a guy standing nearby, because women are not bogus on their own. And two, it's like dogs. There's no bad dogs, there's just bad owners. You know what I'm saying? There's no bad female callers, there's just bad boyfriends who stand next to them. Making them do... Yeah, it's like making them turn tricks, like an after school special or something. Or, secondly, she's just angry. God, is she angry. So, let's try to figure out which one it is. Erica?
34:06🔗
Caller
Adam, Adam, real quick. Remember, I called him before and I was the one that had anal sex before vaginal sex?
34:18🔗
Caller
But, see, this is the first person I was with. My question originally was, though, would that hurt his feelings if I asked him to use a dildo on me? Because I like having things in the any ways, like objects, and I don't know if that would hurt his feelings. Because he already knows the penis situation and I think he's aware of, you know.
34:54🔗
Caller
When I first started masturbating and stuff, I would use various things, but I always put condoms on stuff because I've never been on the side dildo. For a while, I used an ice cream scoop.
35:11🔗
Caller
I don't know. I've been listening to you guys way too long. I mean, not because of the show, but I think I've been masturbating probably since I was like, I mean, various forms of it since, I don't know, maybe since I was like 12, maybe 11.
35:30🔗
Nicole Richie
But I mean, is there any chance that you, because I actually know somebody that's that's like this. Did you, do you think that you've ever experienced your mom just being irresponsible and doing that in front of you when you were younger?
35:42🔗
Caller
Like having sex? My mom slept with me for a really long time, but I've never seen her masturbate ever.
35:57🔗
Caller
Yeah, I mean, I saw stuff when I was younger, flipping through channels accidentally with my cousins and stuff. But you know what, I don't, I had a little friend when I was younger, and I've always wanted to call in about this, but we used to do stuff. We'd play mommy daddy and pretend to get pregnant, but we would take our clothes off and rub on each other. But that was when we were like four and five and six. And, but I thought that was, I didn't know what that was.
36:22🔗
Caller
Well, we've had this discussion before. My dad lives in Riverside. I know you don't remember me, but yeah, my dad wasn't really around. He's a workaholic and he was never there through my childhood. I see him now every now and then, but.
36:36🔗
Adam
Erica has a wild combination of things. First, she lives in Riverside, which is horrible, horrible. I don't even like if I'm driving through Riverside, roll the windows up. I could smoke a cigar in a mini-coop. I would roll the windows up if I was driving through Riverside. Is that dicey? Number one. Number two, she's intelligent. There's no doubt about it. High intelligence doesn't mean she's not effed up, just high intelligence. And it's weird that her dad was not around, not because he was strung out on math and in and out of the joint, because he's a workaholic. And it's weird, I mean, not weird, creepy weird, but just start to make sense that she got his intelligence, but she never got his love. And so she's kind of screwed up, but she's sort of smart at the same time.
37:48🔗
Caller
Because my mom's bipolar. She hasn't really been diagnosed, I mean, by a doctor, but I mean, I know, without a doubt, I've done a lot of research on it and that she's, she is.
38:02🔗
Drew
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I got that. And all this hypersexuality and extreme sort of preoccupation with the insides. All right.
38:16🔗
Adam
Erica, how about this? Forget about the dildos for a second, would you please? You're a smart person, but you're wildly effed up at the same time. Stop worrying about what you're gonna shove in your necks and get yourself some therapy. Take that duffel bag of a coups you got and bring it into the therapist's office, would you? All right? And stop preoccupying about what to tell your boyfriend about the size of the last large black penis and everything. And by the way, that just means you can't handle intimacy. You're trying to freak the guy out and drive him away.
38:50🔗
Drew
There's a, when people have been abused, women, sometimes the penis becomes a symbol of safety and security and they can't feel whole without that sense.
38:58🔗
Nicole Richie
Well, I mean, intimacy, there is no intimacy. I don't think she even cares about him. She just wants something inside of her. She's taken all of the intimacy completely out of sex period. It's not intimate, it's not emotional. She just needs something inside of her.
39:14🔗
Adam
And anytime, anytime we hear that, look, I want to talk to my man about, and then you hear what it's about and you realize, holy Christ, if I heard that, I'd go headin for the hills. You're trying to drive the guy away. You imagine that conversation. Yeah, I remember Lucius. Yeah, he was hung like a towel bar. You got nothing. I'm looking to put a hydrant up me in order to fill the void. What do you think?
39:43🔗
Adam
Yeah. All right, baby. Yeah, I got to go out and get a pack of smokes. I'll be back in about six years. Nicole Richie here from The Simple Life, the road trip version, which is coming out this Wednesday, nine o'clock on Fox. We'll take a quick break and we'll be right back. There, buddy. It's Loveline, Adam. That's Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Nicole Richie is here tonight. The Simple Life 2 Road Trip is coming to ATV near you this Wednesday at nine o'clock on Fox. And we should try a little Germany or Florida. It's been a long time, yes? Yes. All right, here's how the game is played. All bizarre stories come out of either Germany or Florida. You call in, you tell us the bizarre story. We tell you either Germany or Florida. That's our theme.
41:18🔗
Caller
Things are sick and twisted from too much sun and Nazis. Sex, meth and death fetishes, both of them have got these.
41:56🔗
Nicole Richie
There's some, like, hot guy names, like Cole. It's one of those, like, cool names.
42:10🔗
Adam
Cole Corolla. Wow. Like, what if you're, like, you just found out, like, hey, you got a blind date. What's his name? Cole. Cole Corolla. You'd be like, where do I take my pants off? Forget it. Just tell him to put his penis through the mail slot. I'm not even gonna leave the house. He's hot. Sight unseen. Cole Corolla. Yeah?
42:53🔗
Caller
A man had hidden some ammunition and three handguns in the oven before he and his wife left on vacation. However, by the time they returned from their trip, the couple had apparently forgotten about the boats. When the woman turned on the oven to prepare dinner, the rounds went off. The man told officers he had thought the items would be safe.
43:19🔗
Adam
Germans like their guns, but I think they're a little more responsible and they have a gun safe and that kind of thing like that.
43:49🔗
Nicole Richie
I think it's Florida. He was hiding the handguns? I feel like Germans are so hardcore, they don't hide anything. They're just like, here are my handguns and that's all I have to say.
43:58🔗
Adam
They would take better care of them. Okay, we're going Florida. We're all going Florida. Yeah, thank you. Bye, Zach. Thanks for playing, Zach. Let me say this. I was working on my house and I was looking for a place to put the flagpole. I like a flagpole. So I'll tell you something about not only my patriotic. You put a flagpole up in your house, all of a sudden, it turns into a fort. It's sort of half yacht, half compound. I am telling everybody, if you got a house and it's 2,000, 2,500 square foot, it's in the valley and there's not much to it. It's just a regular house and you're putting it up on the market. Spend 250 bucks, get a 20-foot flagpole, put it in the front yard. All of a sudden, it becomes the flagpole house. So when people are talking, they're like, well, which house do you want to get? Well, I kind of like the flagpole house. Be it's patriotic and see that 250 bucks will add $175,000 to the price of the house. Now, keep in mind out here, it's a million bucks for nothing. But the flag, it's so much more substantial. It's like, whoa, it's a library. It's a sort of public office or something. The guy has. So I'm looking for a place to put my flagpole.
45:13🔗
Adam
Oh, you light the flag? Well, you have to unless you don't want to take the thing down. You know, that's flag law. You can put a light on it if you want to leave it up there.
45:24🔗
Adam
Well, you're either supposed to get it down and fold it at the end of each day, or you can leave it up at night, but you got to hit it with a light. Okay, now here's the thing. Now, here's what I'm trying to figure out. I thought for a second, you know, if I fly that Confederate flag, no one will laugh with me, because I put the American flag up, then I put the Confederate flag underneath it, and everybody drives by knows I got a gun. Because think about this. What percentage of guys who have a Confederate flag shown somewhere on the outside of their house got a gun on the inside of the house?
45:58🔗
Adam
Okay, 90, and the 10% that don't either hocked it, you know, it's in the pawn shop, or it was wrestled away from them.
46:11🔗
Adam
Okay, now this is an interesting point. So, I don't fly the Confederate flag, even though I like the message it sends that, hey, I got a gun and I'm cleaning it. I mean, and not only got a gun, I got a shotgun. Now you run the don't tread on me sign.
46:28🔗
Adam
None of the racist ramifications, but it still says I got a gun. You know what I'm saying?
46:34🔗
Adam
Now it says I got a gun and it's in a safe, though. The Confederate one says I got a gun and it's currently it's on my belly. Well, I thought passed out.
46:48🔗
Adam
Nicole Richie's here. You know what the Confederate flag flag looks like? I think I said fag.
46:58🔗
Caller
Alright guys, here's the deal. Call the Dateline. Sick of wasting time with the wrong person?
47:11🔗
You know what I'm saying, I'm dead!
47:41🔗
Adam
It's Loveline, madam. That's Dr. True. Phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1, Nicole Richie is in studio tonight. Of course, you know her from The Simple Life, and the second edition of that is coming out this Wednesday at nine o'clock on Fox. Also on the cover of this, is it this month's Stuff Magazine?
48:05🔗
Adam
Gonna get my stuff figured out. She's looking very fetching, showing a little cleavage, I might add, and that is this month's Stuff Magazine. All right, the July edition. Drew? Yeah. Wait a minute, July's out already?
49:14🔗
Caller
Well, I'm in a relationship with someone also 18, and he has sort of a thing for sleeping with boys. Not young boys, you know, boys our age. But he says he's not gay, and you know, he wants to spend the rest of his life with me, and you know, I'm all for him getting it out of his system, but am I just like making a fool out of myself and wasting my time?
49:39🔗
Drew
Well, let me just say straight on concepts. There's no such thing as getting men on male sex out of your system.
49:53🔗
Adam
You know how they say it's like a bottomless salad bowl, if you go to certain, certain restaurants. Bottomless corn hole.
50:06🔗
Adam
Going in with the guys. You don't, you don't get it out of your system. The anus has no bottom.
50:12🔗
Adam
Bottomless anus. Ironically, Drew, no bottom on the bottom. It's, it's, it's, you know, it's like going to a place and do a 55th refill of iced tea. Just, just going to keep them, keep them coming.
50:26🔗
Drew
No bottom on that bottom. Yeah, but it is interesting that women sort of get that out of their system a little bit. And women can, female on female same sex interaction can be like, I tried that. It wasn't much. Male on male, that's, that's a comment. Yeah. I mean, a guy could be persuaded into something or be loaded and have something bad happen. But, but if he, if he's into sleeping with boys, as you put it, that is gay. And he may not like being gay. He may not want to be gay. He may be fighting against it. He may want you for a beard. He may actually really care about you too, but he's gay.
50:58🔗
Adam
Well, look, either way. Okay. Hold on. It smacks of something up with him and it smacks of something up with you in a big way.
51:08🔗
Adam
So I don't care what's up with him, but what's up with you? Here, I'm going to give you two choices. Victim of abuse or fat?
51:19🔗
Caller
I've got the whole like father complex, you know, looking. My dad was never around. He's a big jerk, you know, looking for somebody to latch on to, I guess.
51:50🔗
Caller
Like, I'm cool if he wants to go have sex with boys because there are some things I can just not do for him. You know, obviously.
52:12🔗
Caller
Well, I mean, I wouldn't even want to do that. And he doesn't want me to do that with him. You know, he wants to have...
52:21🔗
Adam
Liz, Liz, I really... I hate to sound like a broken record, and I know the problem with this show is everyone says, everyone just calls in, they have a question, and then we turn it on them and tell them to get some therapy. But, Liz, you're a mess. And this guy's a train wreck. And this relationship is travesty.
52:54🔗
Nicole Richie
is that how he got started on sleeping with boys? Is it because he would please men to get free heroin?
53:16🔗
Drew
And so he got strung out of heroin as part of the trauma issues. You're a heroin addict whose recovery is not doing well at all. Let's let me explore her recovery a little bit.
53:37🔗
Caller
Just about a month. I did it like a while back, like last year. And it worked, but then I was an idiot and you know, started using it again.
53:53🔗
Caller
No, I mean, that's not how the program works. The one I'm going to, like I myself, like last time I was on it for about two or three months, detox myself. There are people there that have been going for like 10 years. I don't intend to be one of them.
54:12🔗
Nicole Richie
I'm not like being, I mean, I was a heroin addict. I'm not like saying, I'm just saying after 30 days of being on methadone, you're going to get, methadone is an opiate.
54:43🔗
Adam
I was all wrong about you kids. Okay, I'm now changing my bet. Please do not get pregnant. You did.
54:55🔗
Caller
I was raped by my boyfriend by a 35-year-old man, and it wasn't quite consensual sex. So that's a whole other matter.
55:16🔗
Adam
I'm perfect. Okay, Liz, look, I don't trust this guy. I feel bad for him. I'm sure he's a victim. Everyone's strung out on heroin. Everyone's a mess. Everyone's bisexual. This is a disaster. We're clean now.
55:33🔗
Adam
All right, all right. Look, here's my whole point, everybody. Here's what I'm saying. I'm like, I feel like the parent who's saying to the kid, look, I know you're going to throw a party. I'm going out of town for a long weekend. I know there's going to be a party. I know you're going to take my car joyriding. I know you're going to F your stepsister. I know you're going to do everything. Please just don't burn the house to the ground. Please let me just come back to a disgusting mess and a couple of cops. But please don't let me come back to just smoldering ashes. I had some thoughts. You start your way with, I'd like the kid to go to a good college and eventually just work your way down. Could you not kill yourself and repopulate the planet with other screwballs before you go to the grave? I'm just at that point with about three-quarters of people to call this show. Well, this is top of my list. I'm sorry for what somebody did to you a long time ago, but at a certain point you become an adult and then the grief turns to anger. It's like I felt sorry for you when you're a kid and now I'm angry at you because this life that you're carrying on and all the denial you're in, oh, we got a relationship, we're looking at getting married, everything's great, you're a great guy, just steps out with the fellas every once in a while. And let me say this too, at the risk of getting preachy, things don't exist in a vacuum. We say this all the time, you know, it's like, hey, they're a great young couple, everything's fine, they're looking toward marriage, they have their hopes and dreams, I'm hearing a carpenter song in the background. The only thing is he likes to step out and get a little funky with the fellas just every once in a while, but then I welcome him back with open arms.
57:14🔗
Adam
That point is, everyone wants you to believe that we do these strange, bizarre behaviors and then everything else is perfect, and then as soon as you scratch beneath the surface, you just get just that first coat of paint and everything is just atrophied right under it.
57:29🔗
Nicole Richie
Well, Liz, you're not capable of making any decisions right now, period, because you don't have a clear head. And obviously you're not on heroin anymore, but you are on methadone, your head's not clear and you're just incapable of making any decisions whatsoever. I guarantee you that if you were clean, you probably would not think it's as okay as you do right now. But everything is just so clouded for you that you probably don't see what's going on. But it's not a good thing.
57:57🔗
Drew
The best thing I can advise you is to start going to some NA meetings, meet up with people who have been where you've been, and get some support and see what you need to do to get better. You're going to probably need to spend some time somewhere to get to deal with this.
58:12🔗
Nicole Richie
I feel like methadone is so 80s. Like now there's so many different ways to get off of heroin.
58:30🔗
Drew
No, I know, but there's a whole movement within the field I work where people are saying, well, opiate addiction, the success rate is so low, we should just put everybody on methadone and call it a life.
58:50🔗
Adam
You got to do a thing with your dork, they do informers, they actually whack it against something a couple of times. Don't you wish you did that? It'd be nice, because there's nothing left after I grab it with my three fingers. With the OK sign? Yeah, how's the sobriety going, Nicole?
59:44🔗
Nicole Richie
Where were we going? I'm just saying, I thought a lot of things were OK when I was wasted because you're wasted and you don't realize. So, I mean, it's not even her fault that she thinks that some of these things are OK. She doesn't even know. She doesn't know anything. She's probably been in a room for like four days.
1:00:22🔗
Adam
Here's the question in line five. Does yellow coloring and mountain dew lower your sperm count?
1:00:43🔗
Adam
All right, buddy. Now I'm bored. All right. I don't want to say anything bad about Mountain Dew because I got yelled at last time. I called it nectar of the tarts. But please, people, what are we thinking? Remember that?
1:00:58🔗
Adam
That was bad times. Want me to cut that? Pepsi owns Mountain Dew. Yeah. You got to do that, Drew. You know my...
1:01:09🔗
Adam
Yeah, actually, those are... Clever. It doesn't change your product, but one day, I'm going to... I'll tell you what I'm going to do. Rule the world. Everybody... I'm not going to talk about Mountain Dew, but I'll just replace it with Sunny Delight. And if you want to think Mountain Dew while I'm saying Sunny Delight, that's up to you.
1:01:46🔗
Adam
Oh, really? Yes. You've tried the purple and the yellow kind, the white kind? You hate grape juice.
1:01:58🔗
Adam
Yeah, but what about just a Welch's purple grape juice? No, but you do like the Sunny D.
1:02:06🔗
Adam
All right, so let me get this straight. Do not like the purple Welch's delightful, delectable, delicious nectar of the gods grape juice.
1:02:24🔗
Nicole Richie
I love it. I don't think of it as orange juice. I think of it as Sunny Delight.
1:02:35🔗
Adam
Here's what I'm guessing. Unless it's on a video box. Drew, what happened to you, Nicole, is you got hooked on the D early.
1:02:45🔗
Adam
That was probably your first age was the D. You know, if you think about it. You got hooked on the Sunny D early, and you don't know any better. You need some methadone. You need methadone for the Sunny D. You need some Delightadone. Get your ride off of that.
1:03:01🔗
Adam
Here's the whole thing about Sunny Delight. If you don't get weaned on, or if you don't get a steady, you know, if it's like one shot of breast milk, one shot of Sunny D, if you don't get it early and often, and you hit that stuff about 19, you spit it right in the person's face who handed you the glass. You're like, what the hell's this? This is an insult. You slap them with a white glove. You must have got on it as a kid.
1:03:24🔗
Nicole Richie
I did. You know, I love, my favorite part was the commercials when they're like all dirty, and they're like, hey, Mom, and they have, actually, they have grape soda next to it, and they like swipe the grape soda, the grape soda to the side. He got Sunny D, and the mom's like, oh, kids. And it's like, la, la, la, Sunny D.
1:03:47🔗
Adam
All right. I really, I know. No, I just, I just, just, yeah. And here's another thing. Your dad's rich, right? What's he doing bringing home Sunny D? That is so welfare. I love it.
1:04:18🔗
Nicole Richie
Do you feel, I mean, parents buy their kid McDonald's. It's terrible for you.
1:04:27🔗
Adam
It's good. Don't bring it home and keep it in the fridge and have the kid be able to get at it whenever they want. All right.
1:04:34🔗
Adam
I've worked out the Sunny D thing. I understand. And perhaps, and it may be comfort liquid for you. Do you see what I'm saying? It's something you equate with a simpler time. You know, before Paris Hilton and the wind stream. You know what I mean? Or the AIAAR stream. Whatever it is.
1:05:01🔗
Adam
Fair enough. She must have got it early too. That's all I can think of. All right. Drew, where do you want to go? Yeah. Who's on speed? Silver? David?
1:05:16🔗
Caller
I've been dating this girl for about six months, and we've been having sex for most of it, and she's my first. And in the beginning, I was a little... I am not a long-distance runner, exactly. And she told me it would get better, and come six months later, I still can't... I have a problem with premature ejaculation.
1:05:44🔗
Adam
Well, let's talk genetics for a second and what we can't do about it. And it's really not much. Here's the whole thing, everybody. You get a hand dealt to you, and that's about it. And we make a career out of trying. And people, including ourselves, are guilty of this. You have a career telling people they can change and giving them advice. It really doesn't make any difference at all. If you're a one-pump chump, as Nicole would say, if you're lucky, you get to two-and-a-half pumps, that's doing good for you. You're never going to change that much.
1:06:26🔗
Drew
Stereotonic-update inhibitors will prolong things, but really it's more about learning to deal with how you are, which means maybe masturbating beforehand or something.
1:06:35🔗
Adam
Figuring things out. Nothing's going to do anything. You've got to kind of enjoy it and see if you can get a round two out of your penis. Eh.
1:06:48🔗
Caller
Well, I guess it's not exactly what I was hoping to hear, but I can make the best out of it.
1:06:52🔗
Adam
You pointing at the side of your mouth is a weird oral... You talking about oral sex? Side of your mouth is creepy, Drew. Drew gave me the... And what about this? And he points to the crack where his upper and lower lip meet. It's kind of weird. Like I thought I had a piece of asparagus or something stuck to my... What do you want? Yeah, yeah, side of the mouth. Drew, stick your tongue out and go... When you do the...
1:07:19🔗
Adam
You do your point of this side. All right. So, yeah, you can give oral sex and Nicole, you stop me if I'm wrong. If a guy doesn't have much stamina in the sack, all will be forgiven with some good oral sex. Yes? Yes.
1:07:59🔗
Adam
No, it does not, but talk to your girlfriends about this. Oh, Drew's got some ideas. All right, we gotta get into it.
1:08:08🔗
Adam
No, you hold on, Missy. We're not done talking about oral sex. You are not a huge fan of it.
1:08:20🔗
Adam
Not a big fan. And guys are this way, too. There's some guys who like a nice BJ, guys like myself, and then there are guys like Drew, not a big... No, I'm not kidding. He's a man of such passion that this is... He can't eat the salad.
1:08:36🔗
Nicole Richie
Well, they're two completely different things. Having sex and having oral sex, it's not the same...
1:08:42🔗
Nicole Richie
They don't feel the same way. So, I mean, I'm not going to compare the two because they're different.
1:08:46🔗
Adam
Well, you don't have to compare one to the other, but you can enjoy them both separately. Some people enjoy one much more.
1:08:56🔗
Adam
But let's say... Because, Drew, and stop me if I'm wrong here. Sure. You, on a scale of one to ten, you would give intercourse a ten, and you would give oral, that is, receiving oral, a three.
1:09:14🔗
Adam
The whole time. You'd be like, when am I going to get some? Right? So it's almost distracting in a certain way. So, you know, okay, let's just call the four or five. All right. Now, where are you, Nicole?
1:09:34🔗
Adam
Four and a half. You guys make a good couple. All right. So that's you. Now, the reason Drew doesn't enjoy it is because he's a man of such exquisite passion that he is thinking about his ten the whole time he's receiving his four. And when you're thinking about your ten while the four is going on, surely you're not going to enjoy the four that much. I mean, it's such a such a hankering for it's such a carnivorous sexual appetite that he can't enjoy the starter course. Now, would that be the same for you?
1:10:08🔗
Nicole Richie
Yeah, plus also, I mean, I feel like certain guys like Drew don't care about the fact that, OK, so your penis is in a girl's mouth. Like, I think it's more about the idea that like, oh, that's so wrong or that's so, like, naughty. And it's just it's not. I mean, that's not how I think of. Of when I'm when I'm with a guy, I'm not like, oh, I want it to be like naughty and wrong.
1:10:34🔗
Drew
You and I had this conversation before. Like, I couldn't I couldn't register that. Remember that?
1:10:43🔗
Adam
Hold on. Wait, I just want to make sure I'm not confused. We got to go to break. But don't worry. We're going to pick this up by the soda machine.
1:11:02🔗
Adam
Nicole, you're talking about we're talking about you're talking about you receiving oral sex and Drew, both of you receiving.
1:11:10🔗
Drew
Right. And she's saying the whole thing. She thinks the people that are so into the oral are into it because a little naughty or something. That's right.
1:11:25🔗
Adam
Because there's no there's no real naughty connotation, really, the other way with the guy on the girl or quite as that.
1:11:33🔗
Adam
Because we have more questions. Nicole Richie here tonight. And we'll take a quick break. We'll be right back.
1:11:46🔗
Adam
What are women most attracted to? Confident guys. That's right. You can't buy that confidence. At least you couldn't until now.
1:11:53🔗
Adam
You got acts, deodorant, bodies. Nicole Richie is here tonight from Simple Life to Road Trip 9 o'clock, Fox, Wednesday night, this Wednesday, big premiere. All right, so we're talking about, yeah, orgasms and oral sex and all that good stuff. We know that Drew is a man of exquisite, unparalleled passion, is a good 10 when it comes to intercourse, or at least enjoys it. And about a four in terms of receiving the oral.
1:12:46🔗
Drew
You kind of switch around, and I think it's because of, for you, because one requires work.
1:12:51🔗
Adam
Yeah, that's the whole thing. As a dude, you can't just lay back and enjoy the intercourse. You actually got to, you got to pump that water up from the well. You know what I mean? It's great. I love taking a nice shower too, but pumping it is that, you know what I mean? There's some work. You got to bucket it in. You know what I mean?
1:13:20🔗
Adam
I think I will. Well, because I'm practically in the position now. A lot of guys brag about how they can perform on a woman.
1:13:33🔗
Adam
See, here it goes. Here's my, here's how I receive oral. Oh, yeah. Don't stop. Yeah. That's, and then once while I do this one, yeah, like that. That's, that's good. Yeah.
1:14:00🔗
Adam
Well, what I do is I go like this, like, I'll go, all right, no, no, nothing. I try to get my heart to stop. No blinking. Like a yogi. No cellular respiration. Nothing, nothing.
1:14:11🔗
Adam
And I'll go, yeah, so I'll just, I'll just let all my air out and then I'll stop for a few seconds and I'll have to gasp for more. But yeah, so I'm a world-class receiver, but Drew's theory is that anybody who is into the, into the sex intercourse part and not so much into the oral, multi-orgasmic. True?
1:14:40🔗
Adam
You guys, imagine how passionate your kids would be. You know what I mean? I mean, not, not on each other for Christ's sake, in general, you know what I'm saying? Drew may already have run the risk of having three very passionate, passionate, passionate children. Let's hope, let's hope the girl dodged a passion bullet. Drew is a father, doesn't like to think about the passion of the young daughter, but the passion of the son's Drew. I mean, obviously they're going to be a chip off the passion block, yes? We'll see. So Nicole, so Drew's theory is right, that if you enjoy the intercourse and you're, you're lukewarm on the oral, you are multi-orgasmic and a woman of extreme passion, yes?
1:15:25🔗
Adam
Yeah, that's good. And it's nice, it's nice as a guy because, you know, there's nothing worse than feeling like you got to pry an orgasm out of a woman, you know? And really at the end of the day, you bust your hump and maybe, maybe there's a little payday at the end of a very long day of intercourse.
1:15:48🔗
Adam
No, but I mean, well, first off, you don't, you don't, you're not, you're not doing the shirtless pose down in front of the full length mirror going, yeah, you want some? You don't do that. No, you, you're sort of slink off to the sofa and lick your wounds a little bit. It depends. Your feelings are hurt if you know the woman had it in her and you couldn't find it. If you, if you know that the woman really, that's not her thing or that's not the way she works. And yeah, listen, you couldn't find the Holy grail and neither could the several hundred guys who came before you, fine. But if someone is a woman of exquisite passion, like you are Nicole, and I roll and come up snake eyes, I'm gonna kill myself.
1:16:34🔗
Adam
So you better fake it, sweetie. That's all I'm saying. You got to fake it when you're with me.
1:16:42🔗
Drew
Like how could that be? That's just ridiculous. Right? It's like that doesn't even make sense. How could that be? What are you talking about?
1:16:49🔗
Adam
And let me tell you too, as a young woman of 22, your passion will only run deeper as the years wear on.
1:16:55🔗
Nicole Richie
Unless, let me just say this. If you're a girl and you're having sex just to have sex because like the scoop woman, you just like things inside of you. And the guy that you're having sex with is Mr. Passion. I don't think you're going to get an orgasm from that because you guys are coming from two separate places. Again, if a girl is coming from straight passion and let's say the guy is just doing it to blow a load, then you guys are not in the same place and probably will not orgasm. It's all about the connection.
1:17:35🔗
Adam
But talk about it rewarding from a guy's standpoint, someone like Nicole Richie. First off, you get to get right to the good stuff. And then secondly, you get the life-affirming orgasm every 30 seconds.
1:17:51🔗
Adam
You feel like you want to go on top of a mountain and sing. Whereas if you get the woman, I'll tell you the trouble. I'll tell you what you want.
1:18:00🔗
Adam
Let me tell you what you want out of a woman. You want either multi-orgasmic, you can bring them to orgasm very easily, or you want, look, many have tried, many have died. No one has given me an orgasm, don't even bother. Let's just enjoy our intimacy. You can get off and get back to the TiVo. What you don't want is the, look, if you spend a good half hour downstairs and you do everything right, I may just give you one. That's what you don't want because now everything becomes an expedition. It's like, it's out there. Maybe you can get it if the heavens open, the clouds part, and the heavens open and you do everything just right and you put in enough time orally, you could get something. That's the tall order one. It's better just not to have one at all.
1:18:53🔗
Nicole Richie
But then the guy, he doesn't even enjoy it because he just spends that whole time trying to make that happen.
1:19:00🔗
Adam
Yes, that's what I'm saying. Better just to say, look, I've never had one before, how about we just rub a little sweat on each other and call it a night. That's a fantastic way to be, Nicole.
1:19:15🔗
Drew
If His Royal Highness, I think that's how he likes to be called, Thundercloud would help me out with this next call.
1:19:30🔗
Adam
Well, it's not fair that first off, people like Nicole hog all the orgasm because there's women, they hoard orgasms. There's women that don't have any, like the ones I've been with.
1:19:48🔗
Nicole Richie
Some people are just like, you know, can I tell you something? I actually can't sit on cold floors.
1:20:00🔗
Nicole Richie
Can't do it. So I have to like heat my bathroom if I'm putting on my makeup, always.
1:20:16🔗
Nicole Richie
It's a full length. I mean, my whole bathroom, the wall is... It's not like a huge bathroom, but instead of leaning over the counter, it's closer for me, so I sit on the floor. But I have a...
1:20:35🔗
Adam
You know, it's usually heat or movement or motion or something. We talk to women who get it at the gym if they're doing some crunches.
1:20:49🔗
Adam
That's why you got to bring your own seat, because otherwise you get the orgasm seat that you had before. If spinning class will do it, sometimes women just driving will do it. They drive a standard shift, you know, just pushing a clutch in, a little vibration.
1:21:03🔗
Nicole Richie
The vibration never did it to me, but you know what, I have a high tolerance, because and a lot of girls do this, they carry their phones while they're driving their phones or their pagers in between their legs and it vibrates and it's not, it's not a sexual thing. It's just your phone's ringing and you can't hear it because the music's loud. So a vibe like the vibrating dildo thing has never, has never sounded interesting to me at all. Because it's like, well, that's like a phone.
1:21:32🔗
Adam
They had to do a dildo pager that ironically rung, it didn't, it didn't vibrate, very ironic. All right. So a woman of exquisite passion, so much passion that her passion ends up on the bathroom floor when she's doing her makeup. She actually has to throw a yoga tarp down in order to put her makeup on so she doesn't have to explode with passion.
1:21:54🔗
Nicole Richie
No, I just might, when you turn on like a certain light in my bathroom, the heater automatically comes on with the light because it's just a given.
1:22:01🔗
Adam
Yeah, I like that. Yeah, you got one of them hot bulbs. It's like you're in the fry rack at the McDonald's, but it's nice. All right. You see what you learn on the show. Jen?
1:22:22🔗
Caller
It was the first time we were being intimate. And his bed was making noise and his roommate was home. So he said, let's stand up. And right when he stood up, he lost his direction.
1:22:38🔗
Yeah.
1:22:45🔗
Yes.
1:22:53🔗
Adam
Yeah, and it's weird because as a guy, you really want to make excuses, like, I mean, your first impulse is to be like, oh, hey, that, no, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not that guy is what you're trying to say.
1:23:06🔗
Adam
Right. Except for they don't realize they're making it worse because as a chick, they're like, so I'm the only guy.
1:23:14🔗
Drew
And by the way, it's very easy for a guy to say, hey, listen, I was really into this. I'm nervous. I just was so overwhelmed in the moment.
1:23:21🔗
Adam
I think I think the best answer is if you can pull it off of the straight faces, a guy who this happens to is you excite me so much.
1:23:35🔗
Nicole Richie
Well, isn't it very easy? I mean, even if you just get up and take like a three second break, it's just easy to kind of lose that. You're just not in the moment.
1:23:48🔗
Adam
Well, and also, though, he was having sex with you with the condom and then pulled it out. Sometimes the condom, you know, it's weird is guys will lose it putting the condom on sometimes. Also, the condom is weird. Like once it's like a tampon, it's like pulling the tampon out and putting it back in again or something. It's not. It's weird to pull it out with the condom on, move around a little and then go back, go back down with the condom.
1:24:20🔗
Caller
Well, because we were, I mean, we were going at it for about 20 minutes and we moved around a couple of times. And he pulled it out and then put it back in.
1:24:31🔗
Adam
Also, he's a guy, I mean, he's kind of up in his head a little bit if he's worried about what the roommate is listening to and you're not.
1:24:38🔗
Adam
You know what I mean? That's more sort of the chicks territory. You know what I'm saying? Think about a guy who's sort of freaked out about what his roommate might hear in the throws of passion. Drew is a man of exquisite passion. You blocked out everything, right?
1:24:53🔗
Adam
Drew is like, look, you know when a shark attacks and its eyes roll back, that membrane goes up. Drew had one that went over his ears.
1:24:59🔗
Adam
Over his entire head, a thin membrane that blocked out the outside world. He couldn't hear fire alarms going off, phones ringing, it wouldn't matter. He could have been staring.
1:25:14🔗
Adam
Yeah, it was amazing. He was like Aquaman, only while he was banging a chick. As I said, chick, I meant candy striper. All right, I don't know. Look, don't take this.
1:25:34🔗
Drew
The idea that guys stop for three minutes to have a problem, that shouldn't be. Not when people are...
1:25:47🔗
Adam
No, but with the condom adds a degree of difficulty. And now the guy's up in his head and he's thinking about his roommate. And guys, too, once you start focusing on things outside the room and stuff, probably... And also, he was going at it for 20 minutes, couldn't finish, too.
1:26:04🔗
Adam
Which is freaking out a little bit. All right, don't bust the guy's chops. He was nervous. And the comment of it never happened before was more a comment about him being nervous.
1:26:37🔗
Adam
It's Adam, the only sane one in this studio, beside the dog. Nicole Richie is here. Drew, the Dr. of Exquisite Passion, and Nicole, our most passionate guest, in tonight. The Simple Life 2 road trip is what Nicole's plugging, which is gonna be hitting the trail this Wednesday on Fox at nine o'clock. And Fox looks like, I think Fox is squarely in the number three position of the networks, which we didn't really think we'd see in our lifetime, really. I mean, wasn't it just a few years ago, they were doing like when Kodiak's attack and stuff. This is a crazy shows about bears attacking campers and stuff, and it seemed like, wow, they're really a fringe network. Now all of a sudden-
1:27:27🔗
Adam
ABC. And not only that, but a lot of Fox looks like got a lot of new good stuff coming on. I saw that casino tonight looked good. Lots of, lots of strong stuff.
1:27:44🔗
Adam
Well, they know they suck. Well, let's be, let's be honest. And listen, I don't kiss the man's ass.
1:27:59🔗
Adam
I think it's mostly just like La Opinion and stuff like that. It's Mexican newspapers is all that. That's where they advertise. I think they pulled all their stuff. Cause they drink that stuff up those people. I don't think you can get white people to drink it anymore. Well, Nicole. Yeah, once in a while somebody steps outside the Bines, the cultural bounds of Sunny D and drinks it. But it's rare.
1:28:36🔗
Adam
Oh, oh, oh, and the orgasms. We got nothing to talk about. Why don't you, what's not to like about that? That's my, you know, there's- The purple Welch's.
1:28:54🔗
Adam
You're inching your way back towards sanity, but the Welch's grape is really, as a matter of fact, let me say this about Welch's grape, and I'm not trying to anger you, but I got this theory. I know you're gonna be shocked. Here's my theory.
1:29:10🔗
Adam
My theory is, and everybody, please, just go to that place where you agree with me for a second. Just open your hearts and your minds. I have this thing, which is I eat about, I probably eat about 100 turkey sandwiches a year and enjoy four or five of them. Meanwhile, I eat almost no egg salad, but I actually do enjoy it better. I would never order an egg salad. I would never go to a restaurant and order an egg salad sandwich. I would never go to a deli and order an egg salad sandwich. But if someone made me a good egg salad sandwich, I would enjoy it. And I would almost always enjoy it over the turkey. Yet I eat 100 turkeys for every one egg salad. I feel the same way about Welch's grape juice. I never drink them, but I enjoy it and would enjoy it. If you drink a Diet Coke, I drink an orange juice, I drink whatever. But if you got me one of the little bottles of Welch's, I would gobble it up leafily.
1:30:04🔗
Nicole Richie
That's how I feel about Sunny Delight. Never drink it, but if I had one right here, you're happy. And you had another soda and Sunny Delight, I would definitely choose the Sunny Delight.
1:30:16🔗
Adam
Right. Well, it's a superior drink because it comes in a plastic bottle. That's how you know.
1:30:29🔗
Adam
Here's the thing, the Airstream trailer, it's really, Sunny D goes with the ones that were less from the 50s, more from the 70s with the fake wood paneling and the bad burnt orange carpet. Yeah, it's got a little more hillbilly in it than that. That Airstream, that's a little more American.
1:30:57🔗
Adam
All right, buddy, you're back. You're back, how's it feel? Enjoyed, it's not gonna last. Who was I talking to, Mary? Where was I talking? Four? I was talking to Janet. Janet?
1:31:09🔗
Yeah?
1:31:25🔗
Drew
That's an interesting question. Not always. That some people have a certain amount of resiliency, and if they have good, what's called attachment to a primary caretaker early on, and have a certain amount of genetic endowment, they can withstand an awful lot. But trauma is what we call something that is at the core of psychopathogenesis, a personal disorder.
1:32:08🔗
Adam
All right. So he's not abusive to her, as far as you know, although God knows what he's done in the past. Is he an alcoholic?
1:32:30🔗
Drew
Not necessarily. Not if you're saying he's not doing it now and you just have some things you want to talk about in relation to the past and having trouble dealing. That's something you can go and talk to somebody about, okay?
1:32:41🔗
Adam
Take care of yourself. Would you, baby doll? Eat some of that egg salad and drink some of that Welch's purple grape.
1:32:48🔗
Adam
Inexplicable. Inexplicable. Nicole Richie, not a fan of that. We're gonna take ourselves a quick break. We'll be right back after this. All right, guys.
1:33:31🔗
Adam
Well everybody, that's the show. I want to thank Nicole Richie and her dog, super scrumdilly-ishus, precious, honey child.
1:33:49🔗
Adam
Nicole can be found on the Simple Life 2, the road trip, and that's coming out this Wednesday at nine o'clock on Fox. Always good to see you, Nicole.
1:34:19🔗
Caller
This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or this station. The producer for Loveline is Annie Gold. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.