Thursday, April 8, 2004

0:54🔗 Voiceover Loveline may contain sexually oriented content.

1:00🔗 Love Line with Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew.

1:05🔗 Voiceover That's Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Dr. Drew, board certified physician. Elisha Cuthbert is here tonight. She is from 24 and The Girl Next Door. And I have seen The Girl Next Door, as I told you. Yeah.

1:24🔗 Elisha Cuthbert Oh, good.

1:25🔗 Adam They made me.

1:26🔗 Elisha Cuthbert They made you.

1:27🔗 Adam Not in a bad way.

1:28🔗 Elisha Cuthbert Oh, I hope it wasn't too painful.

1:29🔗 Adam No, it was good, actually. I enjoyed it. Although we'll have to talk about it off the air, but I may have missed the last 10 to 12 seconds. I, the movie must be about one hour and 36 and a half minutes or something. I don't know. Well, you know how long it is exactly?

1:48🔗 Elisha Cuthbert I don't know the exact minute, but around that, that sounds pretty accurate.

1:51🔗 Adam It's not quite 140, but it sure as hell ain't an hour and a half. Yeah. I think your money's worth it. Anyway, I had to get here. I like to come here right as the show begins. Right. Yeah. Well, I gave myself 18 minutes to get here and I was on the Fox lot in the middle of the studio. So I ran out. So you just tell me. It could have ended the second I left. And by the way, that's how I look at movies. If I leave, that's where they end.

2:15🔗 Drew It's technically you have.

2:18🔗 Adam I could have left Barry Lyndon 10 minutes into it. And that's where it would end it. And I look at life that way, too. So look out all you who are still around when I go. It's over. Do you see what I'm saying?

2:29🔗 Drew I'm following. I'm following.

2:30🔗 Adam Life is over when I go.

2:32🔗 Drew That's right. When you end, we cease to exist.

2:33🔗 Adam I don't even know if you're here now.

2:35🔗 Drew Well, that's something else. Except for your problem.

2:38🔗 Adam If Drew didn't punch the mic every 45 seconds by mistake, so he claims I wouldn't know he was alive. I'm the only person on the planet who has not seen 24, though. And now, but you know what it is for me in 24 now? I don't want to ruin it for myself. This is like it's like the most beautiful girl in the school. Now we're dating and I don't want to go all the way with her because I could be disappointed. Now, I built her up. I built 24 up. Everyone says it's amazing. It's the best series on television.

3:07🔗 Elisha Cuthbert Yeah, it's funny because either people who watch it are like huge, huge fans. And then there's the people that don't get to catch it. So it's like no one's in the middle.

3:17🔗 Adam Well, I also have this thing. And I don't know if you have this, too. It's this way with video games where people go, oh, man, you got it. You got to play Commando Sodomizer nine. You'll you'll never you'll never put it down. And it's like, yeah, I don't I got enough going on. Yeah, like all I need is one more thing.

3:34🔗 Drew Yeah.

3:34🔗 Adam One more reason not to talk to my wife.

3:36🔗 Drew Yeah. Well, you might need you might claim to need that.

3:40🔗 Adam No, I'm just saying, I got enough. Yeah, I got enough. I'm doing fine in the in the sort of leisure time. Me time. Yeah. Department.

3:48🔗 Drew Leases from Montreal.

3:50🔗 Adam Yeah. Beautiful country.

3:52🔗 Elisha Cuthbert You've been up there.

3:53🔗 Adam Have we? No, I've been up there. I've been up there for the Montreal Comedy Festival.

3:57🔗 Elisha Cuthbert The nasty show.

3:58🔗 Adam Yeah, it was. We had a good time, actually. Yeah, I enjoyed it.

4:02🔗 It's a crazy little good.

4:04🔗 Adam Yeah, it's very eclectic. Did a lot of walking. Enjoyed it.

4:08🔗 Elisha Cuthbert It's like a small New York.

4:10🔗 Adam Let me say this. I do like Montreal a lot. Could do without the border folks, the the the people at the airport, not the border people, but the customs customs folks, very serious people. Got myself a which going which way? Large lesbian coming in.

4:27🔗 Drew I'd get a work permit coming in.

4:29🔗 Adam Beat the crap out of me. I mean, really.

4:30🔗 Drew Did you get a work permit?

4:31🔗 Adam No, you know, it was that was fine. Yeah, it was it was a beautiful thing because everybody said, look, just say you're here on pleasure. Yeah, I was going there with Jimmy. We'd sold the man show to like a Montreal comedy station or something. We're going there to do some publicity about three or four years ago. And everyone I ran into has ever been a can and says, you're not you're not here in business. You just just for pleasure. Because if it's business, you're going to get screwed. So just say you're here for pleasure. So they, you know, what are you here for? And it's just pleasure. Just want to look around. All right. Mind if we open your briefcase? Hold out an itinerary thicker than the Torah. And it was broken down, too. It was like 805. You're picked up at the hotel. 813. Good morning, Quebec. You know, and it just kept going and going and going. And the chick is like, so just just here. It seems like you have about 80 places you're stopping. And I said, well, I'm not getting paid. So, you know, it's not really business. And she said, I can't believe you're not getting paid to do all these TV shows and these radio programs. I could know you don't get paid. And then here's where it went surreal. I said, you know, when Michael J. Fox does the Tonight Show, he doesn't do that to get paid. He does it to promote. And she goes, who's Michael J.

5:45🔗 Elisha Cuthbert No, he's Canadian.

5:47🔗 Adam That's what I said. I said, I picked a Canadian intentionally.

5:50🔗 Elisha Cuthbert It's like Jim Carrey or something.

5:52🔗 Adam I think either I'm going Alan.

5:53🔗 Drew She's an outback.

5:54🔗 Adam I could have gone Alan.

5:55🔗 Elisha Cuthbert John Candy.

5:56🔗 Adam She would. I should have.

5:58🔗 Elisha Cuthbert John Candy.

5:58🔗 Adam You know, Candy had probably passed recently. And I don't want to hear that scab.

6:03🔗 Drew Oh, what happened when she pulled out all the porn out of your project?

6:05🔗 Adam Well, I didn't want to talk about that in front of a leader.

6:09🔗 Drew I just wanted to hear the whole story.

6:11🔗 Adam She pulled the top heavy porn out of. Well, if I'm going to go out of country.

6:18🔗 Drew I didn't know it happened.

6:18🔗 Adam Yeah, I was kidding, too. Oh, well, look, all I'm saying is, is if you say you're there for pleasure to look around and they pull a very detailed, multi-page itinerary out of your briefcase, that's a that's a bad sign. As a matter of fact, just keister the whole briefcase.

6:36🔗 Drew I had to go. I did a film up there.

6:38🔗 Adam I got a work permit with the Olsen twins.

6:41🔗 Drew And that's playing the Olsen twins now. And it took an hour and a half just staying around there, just the whole. Yeah, it's just to beat the crap out of you.

6:53🔗 Elisha Cuthbert I just recently got my green card.

6:54🔗 Drew You had seen from the passion.

6:55🔗 Adam You recently got your green card to for the United States.

6:59🔗 Elisha Cuthbert He had to work here without having visas because I've had many visas throughout my career and now I don't have to worry about it because it took me six years to get it. You know, so proud moment.

7:09🔗 Adam I keep telling him, you know, we have to, you know, with the white people, we got to push them through. I mean, it's such fast track white. Come on, let's go. We got no problem with these people.

7:21🔗 Come here. It took a long time.

7:23🔗 Elisha Cuthbert But it should because it's important.

7:24🔗 Adam Let me explain him when I'm in charge. Oh, good. White guy. He gets fast track. OK, look, we don't have any luck. We see some swarthy guy in a turban or something. We got to ask that. We got to hold it up. We got to ask some questions. We get to yawn or stand or one of these guys, big Norwegian guys. And no problem with him. Now, you're a chick. You go faster. You've got blue eyes and you're you know, you're cute. And you're an actress, you're a model. Pow. We'll get you. We'll get your paperwork done that day. That's why I'm looking at it.

7:52🔗 Elisha Cuthbert It would have been a lot easier if I would have went through you.

7:54🔗 Adam Yeah. Well, next time, I really think you come see me.

7:58🔗 Elisha Cuthbert Yeah, I should.

7:59🔗 Adam Yeah.

7:59🔗 Drew I really think I think I'm beginning to realize that the reason the Corolla family is so paralyzed was the trauma at having great grandfather Mussolini taken down the way it happened. Yeah. And finally, you're here to sort of.

8:13🔗 Adam Drew, you know I'm right.

8:14🔗 Drew To bring out his great work.

8:17🔗 Adam We don't want any Altina terror cells starting up here, but we don't mind some hot blonde Canadian actresses come here, want to pay a few tax dollars.

8:26🔗 Drew Harmless.

8:26🔗 Adam Harmless.

8:27🔗 Drew But good times.

8:28🔗 Adam Better than harmless. You're like this country's good luck charm.

8:32🔗 Drew Let me just say, Elisha is here. Elisha. I always want to call you Elisha. It's Elisha, right?

8:36🔗 Adam Elisha.

8:36🔗 Drew Elisha Cuthbert from The Girl Next Door. Starring The Girl Next Door. For those of you that are 17 years of age or older that get on the air tonight, you'll be sent two tickets to go, free passes to go see this show. Opens April 9th.

8:48🔗 Adam Yes. Yes.

8:49🔗 Drew Yes.

8:51🔗 Adam Where are we going, Drew?

8:52🔗 Drew Where the ticket, where the sticker is.

8:53🔗 Where the sticker is.

8:54🔗 Adam All right, let's talk to Michelle. Michelle?

8:59🔗 Yes.

8:59🔗 Adam You're 21?

9:01🔗 Caller Yes.

9:02🔗 Yeah, you're 21, Rock.

9:05🔗 Adam So was Drew in 1957. It's fun to laugh at old people.

9:10🔗 Drew She laughed a little too hard at that one.

9:13🔗 Adam He's going to die like 40 years before you.

9:21🔗 Drew How dare you?

9:22🔗 Adam What's up, Michelle?

9:24🔗 Well, I was molested for a year and a half when I was 14.

9:30🔗 Adam Hold on, Elisha, don't laugh now.

9:32🔗 Drew Go ahead.

9:33🔗 Elisha Cuthbert I know, I'm not.

9:35🔗 Drew And you were, yeah. Yeah, but you, to describe what happened between 13 and 14 as molestation is a little bit sort of, I suppose, inaccurate.

9:46🔗 Adam Why?

9:47🔗 Drew Well, it means something must have happened earlier to sort of make you be able to cooperate as such a good victim.

9:52🔗 Adam Who did this to you when you were 13 and 14?

9:55🔗 It was actually a guy at my church's youth group.

9:59🔗 Drew Okay, so what happened to you when you were a kid growing up? Physically abused?

10:04🔗 Like as a child?

10:05🔗 Drew Yeah.

10:07🔗 Fine, I had a normal, healthy, happy childhood. This was the first traumatic thing that really ever happened.

10:16🔗 Drew But how did this guy hold you at knife point or something? How did this go on for a year and a half?

10:20🔗 I was very afraid of him and he just made it really clear that he could hurt me if he wanted to.

10:28🔗 Drew And so why didn't you tell somebody about it after it first happened?

10:33🔗 I was really ashamed and afraid that it would be my fault.

10:36🔗 Drew And so you kept going back for more?

10:39🔗 Adam Well, she didn't go back anymore.

10:40🔗 It was at my church youth group and-

10:43🔗 Drew Yeah, Michelle, something happened. Michelle, something had to have happened to you growing up.

10:47🔗 Adam I don't know. Yeah, hold on a second. Quiet down. Wait, I'm always with you on this and I subscribe to this theory too. I also know the guilt and the shame and the religion and the 13, 14 and the fear and the whatever. And depending on how you're constructed emotionally, doesn't necessarily mean that you had to have had abuse in the past.

11:08🔗 Drew Think, but think.

11:08🔗 Adam You're going to dig it out. Her dad gave her an adult aspirin when she was nine.

11:13🔗 Drew No, no, think of the situation. Unwillingness to come forward. So thinks of herself as a victim and paralyzed by the experience, completely paralyzed. Those are two.

11:25🔗 Adam I'm with you.

11:25🔗 Drew Those are two things that be lie or suggest a history of victimization in childhood.

11:31🔗 Adam I agree, but there's also circumstances such as the religion and the shame and the whatever. So Michelle.

11:39🔗 Yes.

11:39🔗 Drew And then rape followed.

11:41🔗 Adam Everything in your past growing up was fine. No alcoholism, no physical abuse, nothing like that.

11:48🔗 No, my parents were very strong Christians. So I mean, everything like that was just never done in my house.

11:55🔗 Adam All right. So now, but you never told anybody about this. No. And okay, now what? Okay, now I'm going to ask Drew.

12:04🔗 Well, I called a couple of people of my friends later on in high school. And then one of my best friends raped me when I was 17, that knew.

12:14🔗 Drew Right, but that's again, you behaving like a good victim. And that certainly I can take, I can understand that the 13 and 14 year old victimization set you up for the later victimization. But I'm just wondering why you were such a good cooperative victim at 13. What were you going to ask? All right, ask.

12:31🔗 Adam No, no, I forgot. It wasn't important. Here's the thing, Michelle, have you gotten any counseling?

12:38🔗 Caller Yes, I've gotten some counseling. I'm pretty bad at going back because I just don't like it. But I do go to groups.

12:45🔗 Drew All right, survivor groups.

12:48🔗 Caller Pardon?

12:49🔗 Drew Survivor groups? Okay, excellent. You've got to keep going, Michelle.

12:56🔗 Adam Lex voted off tonight, by the way. Michelle.

13:02🔗 Drew All right.

13:03🔗 Adam Go to therapy.

13:05🔗 Drew Keep going. It's fine. That's about all you can do with this, is really get some treatment for it, understand it as a problem. It leaves an imprint on your brain. It'll change how you relate to some of your peers. It'll affect your choices in relationships. But you can work your way out of that. All right.

13:19🔗 Adam I sort of half agree with Drew. But also sometimes there's people, you know, one out of every so many people just come out sort of meek or pliable or what have you. You know, there's victims that are okay, it's like gays. Yeah, yeah. You got gays that are created. You may want to take this pearl back with you to Canada.

13:38🔗 Drew They need to know.

13:39🔗 Adam They're gay men that are created because they get molested by a priest when they're nine and therefore become gay later on in life. I'm not sure how it works, but it never disappoints. It's a pattern. And then there's men who are just born gay, which usually makes me break into a song.

13:55🔗 Drew But tonight.

13:56🔗 Adam I'll spare you. The point is is victims can be this way to some degree.

14:02🔗 Drew I will grant you that.

14:03🔗 Adam There are some people where if you grab their purse and run down the street, they won't say a word. They'll just stand there and stare.

14:08🔗 Drew Well, certainly we would suggest, we would say that something kind of made them that way, but you're saying that there's some people who just constitutionally made up that way.

14:15🔗 Adam Something conspired to make them that way, but you wouldn't be able to figure it out. It might not be wholesale abuse. I'm sure her parents did something to get to shame her. It was probably the shame and the religion.

14:26🔗 Drew A lot of fear about the devil going to get you and all that stuff, which I put under the abuse category.

14:31🔗 Adam Drew hates God.

14:32🔗 Drew Yeah, that's it.

14:33🔗 Adam Tell the world.

14:34🔗 Drew That's what I just said, isn't it?

14:37🔗 Adam Dave, what are those Canadians? They're not Jews. They're not Muslim. What are they over there? French.

14:44🔗 Elisha Cuthbert French. Catholic.

14:46🔗 Adam You guys are Catholic. That's good. We're cool.

14:49🔗 Elisha Cuthbert Yeah.

14:50🔗 Drew Dave, they've got a personal relationship. They know the devil up there.

14:53🔗 Adam They do. He's got antlers. Yes. Hello.

14:58🔗 Drew Hello.

14:58🔗 Adam Dave?

14:59🔗 Yes, I'm here.

15:00🔗 Adam You're 20. What's up?

15:03🔗 Caller Last night, I was at my friend's house and it was just me, my friend, and his mom. His mom wanted him to go out and to the grocery store and buy something for his mom. She told me to stay there, or he told me to stay there. So I was watching TV. Like 15 minutes later, his mom comes up to me and starts filling out my crotch. About 20 minutes later, she starts to give me a blowjob. What's weird about it was her husband is a preacher, and he wasn't there at the time, and he's out of town. And I don't know what to do. What should I do? Should I tell?

15:54🔗 Drew Hold on a second. I was all the way in until he said, husband, wasn't there. I was like, no kidding. And he's a preacher. I don't know. He's got to tell us he's a preacher and then I don't know what to do. All things that are typical contents of a bogus call.

16:08🔗 Adam And he's a dude and he's 20 and his name is Dave. He's from Arkansas. And he has no weird answer. How do you know? How can you?

16:15🔗 Drew There's no question. There's no question.

16:17🔗 Here's the thing.

16:19🔗 Drew He's announcing that this happened to him and I don't know what to do. There's no, I don't know what to do. It's just I'm flipped out. I'm depressed. I'm in panic attacks. I need to manage those feelings or I'm afraid my friends No, no. He laid out the business about the things we already would assume were the case he had to make sure to push home with us. Which means he's pushing points unnecessarily.

16:44🔗 Adam Now the part where my friend's mom said to say, keep saying my friend's mom. There's a weird wording of friend's mom at the beginning that tipped me off. Alright, Dave. We're going bogus, buddy. Sorry. It was a nice try.

16:57🔗 Drew Good times though.

16:58🔗 Adam We'll see you in hell though, right? He said, he screwed... I was off with Dave when he said...

17:06🔗 Drew I was all the way in until he started pushing things around.

17:08🔗 Adam You know what he said at the beginning?

17:10🔗 Elisha Cuthbert I'm blown away right now.

17:11🔗 Adam You're lying now.

17:13🔗 Drew It's bogus.

17:14🔗 Adam She was hanging with a man calf.

17:15🔗 This is... He said, my mom's friend sent the thing for something she wanted.

17:28🔗 Drew And then...

17:29🔗 Adam And he didn't say she. She said, my friend's mom. He kept saying my friend's mom. If she was just speaking, he'd say she. She sent her there. She sent her there.

17:38🔗 Drew He kept reiterating. When you're planning something, it's a premeditated presentation. People don't know how to do that.

17:44🔗 Adam Plus, let me tell you something. Grabbing the crotch 20 minutes later into the BJ, this 45-year-old woman... She's going right there. Especially, just sent the guy down to get a pack of cigarettes.

17:56🔗 Elisha Cuthbert Could come back any minute.

17:57🔗 Adam You don't wait 20. My mom is telling me this all the time.

17:59🔗 Drew Blow now.

18:02🔗 Adam Blow now.

18:04🔗 Drew That's been your policy ever since.

18:06🔗 Adam That's right.

18:07🔗 Elisha Cuthbert I'm learning things.

18:11🔗 Adam Blow now, pay later. Thomas? Yahe. You're 17. Do you have a question for Elisha?

18:18🔗 Caller First of all, I wanted to say, Drew, I read your book. I liked it. Now I'm reading the drama The Gift of Child. I heard you recommend that to somebody.

18:24🔗 Drew Very good, Thomas.

18:26🔗 Caller Elisha and Adam, you're awesome. You're a great comedian. I listen to you every night on Loveline. Thanks.

18:33🔗 Adam Wait a minute.

18:33🔗 Elisha Cuthbert It's Alicia. It's okay. It's a tough one.

18:37🔗 Caller Well, I love you on 24. I can't wait to see your movie. I'm seeing it tomorrow with my mom. I want to know how you got... That's bogus. Just kidding. I made sure to pick up your issue of Maxim, too. I was just wondering how you got your job on 24, and what it's like working with the other guys on there, like Dennis Haysbert and Kiefer Sutherland.

18:58🔗 Elisha Cuthbert Unfortunately, I don't get to work with Dennis because we never have scenes together. I know him personally, and he's a very nice guy. Kiefer is great. I mean, he's been around for a long time. So I think anytime you work with great actors, it kind of helps you step up kind of what you do. And as for getting the part on 24, like, you know, like they were saying earlier, I'm from Canada and I gave myself six months in LA and thought, you know, if I don't get anything in six months, I'm going to go back to Canada and continue to work there as an actor. And two weeks before I was planning to head back, I went in and tested for the pilot 24 and ended up getting it. So I have been in LA ever since. So it was kind of a nice, nice little journey right there. Thank you so much.

19:47🔗 Adam Quick kiss and ass.

19:50🔗 All right.

19:51🔗 Adam So you were it says here you began modeling at age seven.

19:56🔗 Elisha Cuthbert Yeah.

19:56🔗 Adam Makes you feel stupid for waiting till I was nine. You know, I could have got a jump on it. Started modeling at seven.

20:03🔗 Drew Another game.

20:04🔗 Adam What do you please? What do you model at seven?

20:07🔗 Elisha Cuthbert Yeah, I kind of. I did like slippers and things and catalog work. You know, I was like a little kid. I had like no front teeth and went in and just had a had a ball doing it. And my mom couldn't figure it out. But but it was fun. It was really cool.

20:22🔗 Adam And so you modeled and in Canada, you acted and modeled.

20:26🔗 Elisha Cuthbert No, I did the it was like my first real experience of doing something other than just going to, you know, elementary school or whatever. I kind of we were in the mall one day and there was kind of a booth set up. And this woman was kind of asked my mother at the time. And I was like a toddler and said, you know, would she mind doing it? And and then my mom just kind of said, yeah, why not? And I kind of wanted to do it because I was really curious about it. And I don't really remember the situation, but I think it was a lot more of me kind of wanting to do it than my mom actually pushing me to.

20:57🔗 Adam Well, and then so so now you're seven, you're modeling. Yeah, you stop modeling and go.

21:04🔗 Elisha Cuthbert Yeah, I said to my mom that I didn't want to do it anymore. So I was about 10.

21:09🔗 Adam You lead a normal school girl life in Montreal.

21:12🔗 Elisha Cuthbert Yep.

21:12🔗 Adam And then you graduate high school and you're 18 years old or 17.

21:17🔗 Elisha Cuthbert About to be because my birthday is at the end of the year.

21:20🔗 Adam So now you're going to get something from me.

21:23🔗 Elisha Cuthbert What?

21:23🔗 Adam Well, I can't tell you. Oh, you know, it'll kind of ruin it.

21:30🔗 Somewhere around the end of the year, like November, November, November, the last day of November.

21:36🔗 Adam I get something from you. If you get something that doesn't have a card on it, that'll be for me. Or if you ever get any surprise flowers, that'll be for me, too.

21:45🔗 Elisha Cuthbert Oh, well, thank you.

21:45🔗 Adam Now, or even if you get something with a card on it whose name you do recognize, that's from you, too. That'll be for me. Yeah. You can look forward to that. But wait a minute. So now you get you graduate high school. And what do you do after high school?

22:03🔗 Elisha Cuthbert I had this like urge to want to kind of come to LA. And I'd been working as an actor since I was 11. I was doing little shows and things like that.

22:12🔗 Adam And but would you have been known in Canada? I mean, did you get stopped on the street? People knew who you were.

22:20🔗 Elisha Cuthbert Yeah. And sat down with my mom and dad. I remember this vividly at the dinner table and said, I want to move to LA. And but I kind of had it all planned out. So I didn't want them to think I was irresponsible. So I had this whole thing like I'm going to give myself six months. I've already looked into a place called the Oakwood Apartments. I knew how much it cost for the amount of time that I was staying. And I met with a manager and came out here and she just came out.

22:47🔗 Adam And you weren't going to work as a waitress. You were going to come out.

22:50🔗 Elisha Cuthbert You're going to get money saved up from work.

22:55🔗 Adam Like when you were when you were a 17 and three quarters, what were you doing? Like what were you thinking? Did you have a plan? We said money saved up.

23:04🔗 Drew College.

23:05🔗 Adam You had nothing.

23:05🔗 Drew College.

23:06🔗 Adam You had nothing. Depressed. Depressed your hair. Look weird, right?

23:09🔗 Drew Oh, yeah.

23:10🔗 Elisha Cuthbert Did you have long hair?

23:11🔗 Adam Long hair.

23:12🔗 Drew 1976.

23:15🔗 Funny frames.

23:17🔗 Elisha Cuthbert My mom had big frames for the longest time. I was like, uh-uh. We got to work this out.

23:21🔗 Adam Crazy Peter Bogdanovich frames. Big red ones with the funky hair.

23:26🔗 Elisha Cuthbert Were they thick lenses?

23:28🔗 Drew No, no, no. It was more like the Robert Evans look.

23:31🔗 Adam Robert Evans. Big goggles. Charles Nelson Riley. Bad skin. Pining over his girlfriend from his senior year of high school. Really, really.

23:41🔗 Good times.

23:42🔗 Adam Worn apart inside.

23:44🔗 Falling apart. I need to re-wire that.

23:47🔗 Adam Alright. Alright. Gonna take it all out on some candy stripers in a few short years. Oh, yes. Like a phoenix, he'll rise from the ashes. Alright, let's take a little break. Elisha Cuthbert is here tonight. She is from The Girl Next Door and 24 and we'll be right back after this.

24:06🔗 Caller Hello, this is your radio.

24:29🔗 Adam I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. Elisha Cuthbert is here tonight. She is The Girl Next Door. She's not from The Girl Next Door. She is The Girl Next Door, Drew, do you understand that?

24:42🔗 Drew She is that.

24:45🔗 Adam The movie's not called The Little Dude Who Lives Next to That Chick. It's called The Girl Next Door. It's about her. It's about Elisha. She's a star of the movie.

24:56🔗 Drew It's like the godfather.

24:58🔗 Elisha Cuthbert One of.

25:00🔗 Adam Really looks, looked great in that movie, by the way. Lots of tight outfits, revealing, but not, no, no, no.

25:07🔗 Elisha Cuthbert It was great, too, cause I-

25:08🔗 Adam Little bra and panty.

25:09🔗 Elisha Cuthbert I got to, with 24, I had the same outfit the whole year, which is like 10 months.

25:14🔗 Adam Sure.

25:14🔗 Elisha Cuthbert And on this movie, it was 18 costume changes, so I was like, woohoo!

25:18🔗 Adam Yeah, and good looking stuff, too. Yeah, no, you look good. I, you know, I'm sure you're enjoying that.

25:25🔗 Elisha Cuthbert The Girl Next Door's gotta be hot, right?

25:27🔗 Adam Yeah, yeah, and it's weird because, well, I think every teenage boy, or every man who passed through his teen years and everyone who's still amongst them, like our engineer Chris over here, who's technically 27, but still living at home, so I count him as a teenager. Still hiding porn from his mom. If you're hiding porn from your mom, You're a teenager. You're a teenager, you could be in your 50s and hiding porn from your 85-year-old mother.

25:56🔗 Drew That defines.

25:56🔗 Adam You would be a teenager.

25:57🔗 Drew That defines adolescence anyway.

25:58🔗 Adam That's why they call Dick Clark, the world's oldest teenager.

26:01🔗 Drew He's living at home.

26:02🔗 Adam He's hiding porn from his mom. That's what you're at 70.

26:05🔗 Drew That van that he claims is his editing van.

26:09🔗 Adam That's what he uses to transport porn.

26:11🔗 Drew And watch it.

26:12🔗 Adam That's right.

26:13🔗 Drew Out in the mom's driveway.

26:14🔗 Adam All right, so here, come on. He's never coming on this show. Here's what we do. And we don't talk about on the air, but we decide quietly amongst ourselves who's coming on this show and who's not coming on. And once we decide they're not coming on the show, that's game on.

26:26🔗 Drew It's game on.

26:29🔗 Adam Yeah, yeah, we make fun of everybody. But if we think maybe they're coming on the show, it's like, eww. We do some ass kissing.

26:37🔗 Elisha Cuthbert Julia Roberts is the best.

26:38🔗 Adam She, no, no, she won't come on this show, even though we would want her to come on this show, so we could.

26:45🔗 Elisha Cuthbert So she's fair game then.

26:45🔗 Adam She's fair game.

26:46🔗 Drew Okay.

26:47🔗 Adam Yeah, getting a little long in the tooth. All right, see, that was a little dig.

26:51🔗 Drew Very satisfying.

26:52🔗 Adam Very satisfying. All right, now what was I talking about, Drew?

26:56🔗 Drew I have no idea.

26:57🔗 Adam Okay, well then we gotta move forward with the show. What do you say?

27:00🔗 Drew Oh, Chris, Chris in stealing porn from, hiding porn from his mom. He said every teenage male has something about the girl next door.

27:06🔗 Adam Oh yeah, it's just, I mean, I was watching the movie and when Elisha, the beautiful woman, moves in next door to the horny young teenage boy thing and he spots her through his bedroom window, it just brings you back. It's like your heart starts pumping and when they start talking and it's like, it was so identifiable.

27:27🔗 Drew It's a desperation that every teenage male feels.

27:30🔗 Adam Yeah, but remember when you were like 17 and just anybody-

27:35🔗 Drew Praying to God for him to drop somebody out of the sky to the neighbor's house?

27:38🔗 Adam Yeah.

27:38🔗 Drew Yeah, that's right.

27:39🔗 Adam No, it's just like once in a while one of your mom's friends would say, oh, my nephew's in town and niece is in town and some chick who was 15 would come walk in and she'd be like, ha ha ha. Remember?

27:50🔗 Elisha Cuthbert Your heart starts going.

27:52🔗 Adam Yeah.

27:52🔗 Drew Yeah, it's just some sort of like an animal, you know.

27:55🔗 Adam Yeah.

27:56🔗 Elisha Cuthbert Animalistic.

27:57🔗 Drew Yeah, but it's some sort of like frightened slash desperate animal cage, kind of a strange-

28:03🔗 Adam Yeah, fight, flight or Jack actually was the third option.

28:08🔗 Drew Simultaneously, they sort of kick in.

28:11🔗 Adam Yeah. Is that Toko? Toko?

28:16🔗 Yeah.

28:17🔗 Adam Is that your name?

28:18🔗 Mm-hmm.

28:19🔗 Adam What kind of name is that?

28:21🔗 Japanese.

28:22🔗 Adam All righty, then. You Japanese?

28:24🔗 Yeah.

28:25🔗 Adam How's that treating you?

28:26🔗 Good.

28:27🔗 Adam All right. What's up? Really?

28:33🔗 Drew Gay male.

28:33🔗 Adam You and Dick Clark?

28:37🔗 Drew Well, gay men, not lesbian.

28:39🔗 Caller No, gay men, yeah.

28:42🔗 Adam Finally, a chick making sense. No, here's what I'm saying, guys, we do the porn math where like, hey, lesbian porn, fine. It's two vaginas, four boobs, four boobs, four boobs, four boobs, right? And we do that math where as women who look at, who enjoy pornography, and there's not too many of them out there, normally don't like the gay porn, but it's two penises and how many not sex?

29:08🔗 Drew They're weirded out by it. They're kind of a little good.

29:10🔗 Adam Yeah.

29:11🔗 Drew That's all right. Toko's more evolved, huh?

29:14🔗 Adam No. I'm sure she's more effed up, but. So you have gay porn?

29:20🔗 Caller Well, I have it on my computer, yeah.

29:23🔗 Adam And have your parents found out about it?

29:26🔗 Caller No.

29:27🔗 Drew How old were you when you started looking at this?

29:30🔗 Caller Last year.

29:31🔗 Drew So 15. What if her parents find out?

29:35🔗 Adam Oh, yeah. You know what they're going to say? Toko Ono.

29:38🔗 Drew Ono Toko.

29:39🔗 Elisha Cuthbert Ono Toko.

29:40🔗 Adam Ono Toko.

29:40🔗 Caller Ono Toko.

29:40🔗 Adam Ono Toko. Ono Toko. Ono Toko.

29:44🔗 Caller Ono Toko.

29:44🔗 Adam Ono Toko. Yeah, that's how it works. They're proud. They're proud culture. Anything happened to you? Were you ever abused or traumatized in any way? No. Just like it.

30:01🔗 Yeah.

30:02🔗 Adam Well, there you go. Do you like gay men? I mean, like hanging around gay men?

30:05🔗 Yeah.

30:06🔗 Caller I think it's cool. I'd like to see some make out or screw each other. I think that'd be cool.

30:11🔗 Drew Oh, Toko. Something's up.

30:13🔗 Adam Yeah. Something is up because gay. Okay, hold on. We got to talk about this for one second. Gay depictions of gay acts, gay pornography, graphic gay pornography is sort of gut wrenching to straight men. Not because we're bigoted or anything. It's just you take a straight guy, you show them two guys going at it, one behind the other, and they have to avert their gaze just like, for me it's like seeing dentistry up close. Ono Toko. Ono Toko. Can't watch. And I think, Elisha will tell us though, gay pornography for women is kind of gross too. I mean, for normal women. Guys going at it. All greased up, you know, leather choker.

31:04🔗 Elisha Cuthbert I just can't relate to that.

31:06🔗 Adam I don't. Confusing.

31:07🔗 Drew You're confusing. Just say, huh?

31:09🔗 Elisha Cuthbert Yeah.

31:10🔗 Drew Okay. All right. So that's an average response.

31:12🔗 Adam Yeah.

31:13🔗 Drew And Toko suddenly is sort of intrigued, aroused and sort of as an aggression, how she approaches it too, you know, it's sort of inappropriateness, how she presented it.

31:22🔗 Adam Toko?

31:24🔗 Yeah.

31:25🔗 Drew I would bet there's some other sort of.

31:27🔗 Adam What's missing?

31:28🔗 Drew No, no, some other fetishes here.

31:30🔗 Adam What else are you into?

31:34🔗 Drew Keep going.

31:35🔗 Adam What is with the anime? Ooh, Little Boys.

31:40🔗 Really?

31:42🔗 Adam Are you one of these people that sort of considers yourself deviant?

31:47🔗 No.

31:48🔗 Drew Did something happen to you with one of your peers growing up?

31:51🔗 No. No.

31:55🔗 Adam Your parents together?

32:01🔗 Drew The same to themselves? They've been divorced from one another three times or from three different people?

32:07🔗 Caller Three different people.

32:09🔗 Drew So you have a pretty tumultuous upbringing, it sounds like.

32:15🔗 Adam Do you have a boyfriend? Do you like boys?

32:18🔗 Caller Yeah.

32:20🔗 I'm not lesbian.

32:21🔗 Adam You're not lesbian. You like guys and not just when they're cornholing?

32:25🔗 Caller Yeah.

32:27🔗 Adam Because you have to make that distinction.

32:29🔗 Drew Yeah, only that. But Toco, the trauma here, that's where we're getting at. You were in this sort of chaotic family system that was fractured. You just seem sort of spun by all that. Yeah. That's encouraging either.

32:47🔗 Adam What's your plan? You want to go to college? All right. Well, listen, here's the deal. You sound troubled. You really do. And you sound like somebody, quite frankly, could be into heroin or something in a few short years, or at least doing something that would embarrass the family. How about a little therapy?

33:14🔗 Caller I don't know how well I do in therapy.

33:16🔗 Adam All right. Well, Toco, let's go to the next call. Listen, I'm not going to try to save the world. Who are we kidding? You want to call the show. You got problems. You want to listen to us? Fine. If you don't, just do whatever you want. I don't care. Joel. Hey, how's it going, you guys? I got to tell everyone this. Just one more time. I get paid whether I help people or not. I really do. As a matter of fact, I don't like helping people because it makes it seem like I should get paid more. You know what I mean?

33:41🔗 Elisha Cuthbert You're good at it though.

33:42🔗 Adam Good at not helping people?

33:43🔗 Elisha Cuthbert No, I'm helping.

33:43🔗 Drew No, he's good at not helping. He incidentally helps. He's good at not helping.

33:50🔗 Adam I like to help myself through not helping others.

33:52🔗 Drew Yes, there you go.

33:53🔗 Adam That's my motto.

33:54🔗 Drew Look, Toco, there's more to get at in Toco than we can get to it. We've been here three minutes on the radio here.

33:58🔗 Adam Well, she's angry. She's angry.

34:00🔗 Drew I mean, she's almost had sort of a near... And it's not... And please, people, it's not because she enjoys gay porn that we jumped all over that. It was the affect she maintained, the flat, inappropriate, inappropriate laughter, the sort of almost near... I got a feeling of a near-psychotic process.

34:18🔗 Adam She seems like the kind of person...

34:19🔗 Elisha Cuthbert She's very enthusiastic.

34:22🔗 Adam She's the kind of person that could do something bad and not think about it too much afterward. It would not haunt her. Possibly.

34:29🔗 Yeah.

34:29🔗 Adam All right. And that includes to herself, by the way.

34:32🔗 Drew Well, she mentioned she's into little boys, and I think she means that.

34:35🔗 Adam Really?

34:35🔗 Yeah.

34:36🔗 Adam All right. Well, the world may never know. Let's speak to Joel who's got a question for Elisha. Joel?

34:44🔗 Yeah.

34:45🔗 Adam What's up?

34:45🔗 Hey, how's it going, you guys?

34:47🔗 Adam Good.

34:47🔗 Caller I just want to say one thing real quick. Dr. Drew, my mom read your book and she's too afraid to call the show and tell you how good it is.

34:55🔗 Drew Oh, that's very kind. Tell her thank you, please.

34:58🔗 Yeah.

34:59🔗 Caller And Elisha?

35:01🔗 Elisha Cuthbert Yes.

35:01🔗 Yeah.

35:01🔗 Caller You're like Adam says, smoking hot.

35:05🔗 Elisha Cuthbert Oh, thank you very much.

35:06🔗 Caller Yeah. Totally hot. Maximum issues. Pretty nice. Good job on 24. Thank you. And I don't know. I might check that new movie out, but.

35:14🔗 Elisha Cuthbert Please do.

35:15🔗 Caller Yeah.

35:18🔗 Elisha Cuthbert If you do anything this weekend, please check out my movie.

35:22🔗 Caller All right.

35:22🔗 Elisha Cuthbert Thank you very much.

35:26🔗 Caller Do you plan on having kids?

35:28🔗 Adam I'm thinking about it. I'm working on it.

35:30🔗 Caller Hey, well, how about, you know, I'll be your lump of clay, man, once you mentor me.

35:35🔗 Adam Oh, you mean I don't need a kid. I have a 24 year old over here from Sacramento.

35:41🔗 Drew Or Gumby, as we call him.

35:44🔗 Caller No, you can mold me. You can mold me.

35:47🔗 Adam You sound like a clean canvas. Doesn't sound like there's been a whole lot of education going on or anything. I mean, you sound like a sketch. It's been shooken a few times.

35:54🔗 Drew He may have passed that window of opportunity, though, at 24, I know how flexible that clay is now.

35:59🔗 Caller I'm past all the, you know, pee pee and poo poo stuff, you know, and now I can just go over that people.

36:03🔗 Drew Well, Adam is just completely uninterested in that.

36:06🔗 Adam He's passed all that. That's what I'm looking for. What are you doing, Joel?

36:10🔗 Caller What am I doing? Like, for work?

36:13🔗 Adam Yeah.

36:17🔗 Drew He's unemployed.

36:18🔗 Adam And by the way, we finally found something worse than the answer. You asked me what I'm doing here, sir.

36:24🔗 Drew What are you doing for work? What are you doing, Val? For work?

36:27🔗 Adam Uh, uh, right now? I know he didn't say right now. We found one that's worse than right now. Uh, I'm CEO of a Fortune 500 company. Yeah, it never works that way, right? Right. Yeah. Yeah, right now is the number one bad. It's a bad answer for college and, uh. Right now?

36:47🔗 Drew For anything. For anything, really.

36:49🔗 Adam We'll do the right now for college, Drew. Drew, please try to pull this off. Yeah, I'm going, uh, I'm going to college. I'm going to school.

36:55🔗 Drew Where are you going to school right now?

36:57🔗 Adam Uh, well, uh, right now. So, you hear the right now that that's junior college. Now, I'm trying, that means I'm transferring. Right. That means transfer. It's never right now.

37:06🔗 Drew Let me try another one. I'm going to Brown School of Medicine. You're going to be, yeah, you're going to be an orthopedic surgeon. So what level of training are you at right now?

37:14🔗 Adam Uh, right, right now, I'm in ninth grade, I have a ninth grade, I just finished biology. Actually failed beginning science. It's one below biology.

37:24🔗 Drew So you're fluent in French. Where did you learn that?

37:27🔗 Adam Uh, right now, I just, I do pig, I do pig Latin and I can, um, I can do this, I can go honk, honk. That's, uh, much, I can do a little Pepe Le Pew too. That's it. True. You realize you almost said right now.

37:41🔗 Drew I know. That's as retarded as you can get, isn't it?

37:45🔗 Adam I've seen to be more retarded than you are now. I was close though. Let's, uh, now we're going to play a little something called the Germany or Florida. This is a game that is sweeping the nation and I'm sure is, is, if it hasn't made it up north into Canada, it'll be there and it'll be in their days, I'll let them know moments. Yeah. You'd be our Germany or Florida ambassador. Here's how the game goes. All bizarre, bizarre stories emanate from either Germany or Florida, all the strange occult macabre stories, crime stories, usually it's either Germany or Florida. So they tell us a story and we guess either Germany or Florida, Mike.

38:23🔗 Caller Yes.

38:34🔗 Adam The game is almost as good as the song. Go ahead, Mike.

38:38🔗 Drew Mike, Germany or Florida?

38:39🔗 Caller Germany or Florida. A woman was convicted of disturbing the peace for phoning a bomb threat to an airport to get out of a vacation with her boyfriend. She said, I had the idea that if the trip could be blocked by someone else, for example, a bomb threat, then it would solve all these problems.

38:59🔗 Germany or Florida?

39:01🔗 Caller Oh, and Elisha, I Love You to 24 is a wonderful show.

39:04🔗 Elisha Cuthbert Oh, thank you very much.

39:07🔗 Drew Let's pull together whatever clues we've got here.

39:10🔗 Elisha Cuthbert Florida is very vacation-y.

39:11🔗 Drew Yeah, but people who live in Florida don't want to go to that. Yeah. I did. You left Florida? Oh, no.

39:19🔗 Adam You vacationed in Florida.

39:21🔗 Drew Oh, I see.

39:23🔗 Adam You vacationed from Florida in Florida. It's like masturbation.

39:26🔗 Drew On the other hand, I wonder if they could be calling in the bomb threat at the destination. No, that doesn't make sense.

39:31🔗 Adam I was thinking German.

39:32🔗 Drew That's what I was thinking. I was thinking German.

39:33🔗 Adam I was thinking German. Now, you don't have to agree. You go with your gut.

39:36🔗 Elisha Cuthbert Well, I'm going to go with Florida just because I already said it.

39:38🔗 Adam And look at you. You dressed like Florida. You got the orange shirt and the blonde hair. That's gay for orange. Mike, we're going Germany. We're going Germany and our young gal pals going Florida.

39:52🔗 Caller Elisha, I am so sorry. I wish you'd get the right one. It's German.

39:57🔗 Drew We've had a little more experience. She'll be good.

39:58🔗 Elisha Cuthbert I didn't really get the game.

40:00🔗 She's a foreigner. I don't.

40:04🔗 Adam We're going to have to ask you to leave.

40:05🔗 Elisha Cuthbert I better go now.

40:07🔗 Adam I'll tell you what. One more break. One more break, baby doll. Elisha Cuthbert is here tonight from my new best actress friend.

40:18🔗 Yeah, until the next show, right now, until the right now.

40:21🔗 Adam Clock out. We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back.

40:27🔗 Hello.

40:46🔗 Adam I'm Adam, and that's Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. Elisha Cuthbert is here tonight. Next week, Ron Perlman will be in here. Hellboy.

40:56🔗 Drew Mr. The Hellboy, himself.

40:57🔗 Adam What movie? He is Hellboy. Yeah. Oh yeah, screw that. Well, let me tell you something about The Girl Next Door.

41:06🔗 Drew Pennywise.

41:07🔗 Adam No, Pennywhite Fletcher, I don't think is gonna be with him. All right, relax over there. Here's what's going on. First off, Elisha is The Girl Next Door, just like Ron.

41:17🔗 Elisha Cuthbert I am.

41:17🔗 Drew Hellboy.

41:18🔗 Adam Hellboy. Roman, Jewish, not a lot of Jewish hell. Aren't you guys, you're Jewish, right Drew? You guys are going to hell though, right?

41:29🔗 Drew Because of course, we're not gonna be baptized. We have to go to, or maybe purgatory.

41:33🔗 Adam And I think it's hell.

41:34🔗 Drew Yeah.

41:35🔗 Adam And let me tell you something about Jews. To you guys, because you complain a lot, purgatory is hell.

41:42🔗 Drew Yeah, we go to purgatory, but everyone else is visiting us there, they're in hell. No.

41:48🔗 Adam Yeah.

41:48🔗 Drew We create hell for them.

41:49🔗 Adam You create hell for them. Oh, the food is so horrible. And such small portions. Yeah. No, it's true. It's like when you get used to flying first class and business class can be hell. It can be like coach.

42:04🔗 Drew That's right.

42:04🔗 Adam It's your equivalent to coach. That's what purgatory is to the Jews. That is your hell.

42:08🔗 Drew But you know, when we purgatory with the few billion, billion, billion Hindus and Buddhists and Zoroastrians.

42:14🔗 Adam I don't believe.

42:14🔗 Drew They didn't accept the Jesus Christ. They didn't accept him as your savior.

42:19🔗 Elisha Cuthbert I was baptized.

42:20🔗 Adam You were, so I'll see you in heaven.

42:22🔗 Elisha Cuthbert I'll see you there.

42:22🔗 Drew No, but no, not you. Not you.

42:26🔗 Adam So funny. But you know, I always think too, like when people do that, I'll see you in hell. I always feel like they should tack on a part where you go, I'll see you in hell because I'll be viewing you. Much like they have at the, at the Marine land, where I'll be looking at you from my comfortable air conditioned heaven and seeing you in hell, but not actually being in hell.

42:51🔗 Drew We'll visit.

42:52🔗 Adam I won't be there.

42:53🔗 Drew I'll be visiting.

42:53🔗 Adam I won't be there. You'll be there first and then I'll be, I'll blow through.

42:57🔗 Drew And I'll see you. I just won't be there. I'll just see you.

43:00🔗 Adam Cause see you in hell is like, well, you're going to be in hell waiting for me. Like you're going to be crushing rocks and being hit with a pitchfork. You're waiting for me to come down to hell.

43:09🔗 Drew Be fair. I actually, you're the only person I've ever heard use that kind of phrase in a regular way.

43:13🔗 Adam I used to use it in Westerns all the time.

43:15🔗 Drew That's true.

43:16🔗 Adam They use that in Canada. See you in hell. They have hell in Canada.

43:20🔗 Elisha Cuthbert Yes.

43:21🔗 Drew Catholic.

43:21🔗 Elisha Cuthbert Catholic.

43:22🔗 Drew Good. The evolved notion of hell.

43:24🔗 Adam It keeps them in line over there. I like that.

43:27🔗 Drew Yep.

43:28🔗 Adam All right. Let's, what are we going? Let's go, Drew.

43:31🔗 Drew What do we got here?

43:32🔗 Adam Yo, let me say this. The Girl Next Door. Don't worry about Hellboy. That's a different crowd. That's a, that's a, that's a, and by the way, you go see that movie and then you go see, you go see The Girl Next Door or vice versa. You know what I'm saying? It's like you're selling pizza and you, this is a Thai food restaurant that opened next door, not another pizza joint. Right.

43:55🔗 Drew That's right.

43:56🔗 Adam Friday we eat Thai food, Saturday we eat a town.

43:58🔗 Drew We can do both. We can do both.

43:59🔗 Elisha Cuthbert We can do both.

44:00🔗 Adam We're gonna do everything.

44:01🔗 Elisha Cuthbert We're gonna do everything. Okay. I like that idea.

44:03🔗 Adam Yeah. I'm hungry.

44:05🔗 Drew No, that's one.

44:06🔗 Adam Oh, it isn't?

44:07🔗 Drew We gotta take Elisha calls. All right.

44:09🔗 Adam Amy? Who says? Yeah, you're 25. You saw the movie tonight?

44:15🔗 Caller Yes, I did. I went to the Chinese theater.

44:18🔗 Adam Oh, really?

44:19🔗 Drew Tonight was a...

44:20🔗 Caller Yeah, I have to say that was so good.

44:22🔗 Adam You liked the movie.

44:23🔗 Elisha Cuthbert Thanks.

44:25🔗 Caller I was, I mean, not to be rude, but I was just kind of had a pre-judgment on it that it'd be a little cheesy, a little stupid, but my girlfriend and I loved it, so.

44:33🔗 Elisha Cuthbert Oh, I'm really glad that you called in because I figured, and a lot of people are feeling the same way as you. I mean, it's an obvious kind of emotion to feel off of the previews and such.

44:45🔗 Caller You, whoever the writer was, put everything together so well, or the director.

44:50🔗 Elisha Cuthbert Yeah, and we also.

44:50🔗 Caller The girl next door, how does that work, you know?

44:53🔗 Elisha Cuthbert No, exactly. And then also after actually getting this first script, we kind of, the characters, the actors went over the dialogue, too, so it had a lot of rewrites.

45:02🔗 Adam They made it their own.

45:03🔗 Elisha Cuthbert We finessed it.

45:04🔗 Caller Well, I don't want to take congratulations. I got that ticket from my boss today and so. I gotta go.

45:11🔗 Drew Thanks, Amy.

45:12🔗 Elisha Cuthbert Thank you so much. That was nice.

45:15🔗 Adam Wow, a rare piece of praise being heaped on a guest here.

45:18🔗 Elisha Cuthbert I liked her.

45:19🔗 Adam You've got a minute left. Why don't we need to talk to someone else who loves Elisha? What about me? Yeah. Anyone want to know what I did to that? I know, I'm encouraging it. It's always guess this and guess that. What about the ace man? He's got feelings.

45:34🔗 Drew Oh yeah, he does.

45:39🔗 Adam I'm okay. Let's talk to Lydia. Lydia? You're 17? You're straight, but you're roused by lesbian porn.

45:47🔗 Caller Very often.

45:52🔗 Adam That's a natural thing.

45:53🔗 Caller Yeah?

45:54🔗 Drew Yeah, yeah, yeah.

45:55🔗 Adam It's that natural thing to have a bunker filled with lesbian porn and to masturbate feverishly.

46:03🔗 Drew To be arousing than heterosexual.

46:05🔗 Adam Yeah, Elisha.

46:06🔗 Drew And I've talked to women who've said the reason for that is that there's more sort of tenderness in the interaction and that's arousing.

46:12🔗 Adam Yeah, especially when they're whizzing on each other.

46:14🔗 Drew Yeah, but the males are just, it's completely.

46:17🔗 Adam Oh yes.

46:18🔗 Drew You want to, no, you don't want to keep going.

46:20🔗 I don't know about that.

46:22🔗 Adam No. Yeah, but women are much more pliable that way.

46:26🔗 Drew Well, listen, the male in the porn stuff is sort of leaving out the whole intimate experience. It's just left out of the equation. When there are two women, that's sort of brought back in again. A little bit of sort of a tenderness there that women find arousing.

46:39🔗 Adam Elisha, you're not lesbian, are you?

46:41🔗 Drew No.

46:41🔗 Adam No, but you can appreciate an attractive woman.

46:45🔗 Elisha Cuthbert Yeah, I can tell that, yeah.

46:46🔗 Drew Just be careful.

46:47🔗 Adam Tell the difference.

46:47🔗 Drew You don't have to answer the questions.

46:49🔗 Adam No, no, no, I'm not going anywhere. I'm just saying.

46:51🔗 Drew I'm sure you're not, no, no. Right now.

46:53🔗 Adam Yeah, yeah, women are more fluid that way.

46:55🔗 Drew That's true.

46:56🔗 Adam Worse guys, no, we don't go for that. It's gross to us. Yes.

46:59🔗 Elisha Cuthbert But is it?

47:00🔗 Drew No, not the lesbians, the gay.

47:02🔗 Adam No, we like the ladies. Oh yeah, Drew? Passionate man.

47:06🔗 Elisha Cuthbert Very passionate.

47:07🔗 Adam And me too. Although my passion runs through Drew like a conduit and into whoever he's with. Yeah. That's weird.

47:14🔗 Drew I channel your passion. I channel your passion.

47:16🔗 Adam There's some weird psychic kind of. Yeah. All right, we got to take a break. Elisha Cuthbert has to go because she's way too big a star.

47:25🔗 Drew You can stay for one more segment.

47:27🔗 Adam She's safe for one more segment. Yeah, one more segment. We're cool. All right, we'll take a quick break. We'll be right back.

47:32🔗 Caller Alright guys, here's the deal.

47:34🔗 Caller Look in the hookup, call the Dateline.

47:35🔗 Caller Stick a waist in time with the wrong person, call the Dateline. One call is all you need to make.

47:40🔗 Caller Call the Dateline.

47:41🔗 Caller 1-877-889-DATE.

47:45🔗 You know what I'm saying, I'm dead?

47:47🔗 Caller Edam and Dr. Drew will be right back on Loveline.

48:17🔗 Adam Hey, yo, it's Loveline. I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew. Elisha Cuthbert is here tonight. She is the girl next door. She's also on 24. She's only supposed to stay the first hour, but we always do that thing at the very end where we go, can you stay another segment? They go, we go, thanks a lot.

48:35🔗 Drew Well, it's even a little more manipulative than that. Just get through the commercial, we'll say goodbye in the next segment.

48:43🔗 Adam We had a whole first hour. But listen, I'll tell you something. This Elisha, she's like a wonderful goblet of wine that you just can't put down.

48:53🔗 Oh, yes.

48:55🔗 Adam Intoxicating. Yeah, Elisha's okay with me too. She doesn't, you're not, you think I'm fine, right?

49:05🔗 Elisha Cuthbert I think you're great.

49:06🔗 Adam I mean, not fine.

49:09🔗 Drew He's a manipulator. I mean, you might have thought that she didn't know.

49:16🔗 Adam No, I'm saying you have a boyfriend. Yes, you have a boyfriend. I'm married. But, but, you know, if you were single and I was single, we'd go on a date.

49:29🔗 Drew Oh, she's like old guys. The thing. See, wow.

49:32🔗 Adam She's an old guy, but I move like a cat, baby.

49:35🔗 Drew She kind of had a striker. Oh, really? He really wants to have pancakes with him, striker does.

49:41🔗 Elisha Cuthbert You know, I used to just tolerate that kid, now I hate him.

49:44🔗 Drew To have pancakes with him.

49:46🔗 Adam Yeah. Geez, it really breaks my heart.

49:49🔗 Elisha Cuthbert That doesn't mean anything about you, though.

49:50🔗 Adam No, no, yeah, it does.

49:53🔗 Elisha Cuthbert Where's striker?

49:54🔗 Adam All right, we got to say bye to Elisha.

49:58🔗 Drew Dude, it would be weird if she were attracted to guys our age. That's a disturbed person.

50:03🔗 Adam No, no, that's not an age thing. Oh, it is. It's an age thing.

50:09🔗 Drew No, it's not an age thing.

50:12🔗 Adam No, well, look. No, hold on a second. There are plenty of guys who have had to... I don't know why.

50:19🔗 You want to believe this.

50:20🔗 Drew You're going to fight it out.

50:21🔗 Adam No, no, no.

50:22🔗 What do you mean?

50:22🔗 Adam I'm making it worse for me. Hold on, jackass. I'm making it bad for me. I am saying...

50:30🔗 Drew You're saying it's not the age. You're just not...

50:32🔗 Adam There are plenty of 39-year-old guys...

50:34🔗 Drew Who would be, okay...

50:35🔗 Adam .that Elisha would be interested in if they were, well, not tons, but if they had the right look. Yeah.

50:43🔗 Elisha Cuthbert No.

50:44🔗 Adam No, I...

50:44🔗 Drew See, she's healthier than that.

50:46🔗 Elisha Cuthbert No.

50:46🔗 Drew Yeah, she's into her peers.

50:48🔗 Adam Would you go out with a 39-year-old guy? No. Yeah, but you'd go out with like George Clooney and he's like 43.

50:56🔗 Elisha Cuthbert No.

50:57🔗 Adam Oh, he's asked. Ah, that means he's asked. He doesn't mean he's asked.

51:03🔗 Elisha Cuthbert I've never met him in my life.

51:04🔗 Adam Uh-huh, that's what I would say. Yeah, if I spurned his advances.

51:11🔗 Drew Girl Next Door.

51:11🔗 Adam That's what I would say.

51:12🔗 Drew That's why she stayed, promote the movie.

51:13🔗 Adam That's what I would say.

51:15🔗 Drew Hey, for those of you who are 17 years of age or older, get on the air tonight. You will get two tickets to see the film Girl Next Door when it opens on April 9th.

51:23🔗 Adam Yeah, this breaks my heart, by the way, because I thought, as a guy, and a successful...

51:28🔗 Drew No, you've crossed over.

51:29🔗 Adam Oh, have I?

51:30🔗 Drew Yeah, that happens about 36, 37. It's all over.

51:32🔗 Elisha Cuthbert But there's some women out there that are into that.

51:34🔗 Drew Yeah, no, but this disturbed women is the point. You should be... Yeah, you should be... If somebody is into you, you should wonder what's wrong with them. Quite literally, yes.

51:43🔗 Adam And even if they're my age?

51:45🔗 Drew No, no, you're an age divorced three times. That is what you call a deflated sign.

51:55🔗 Adam Yeah.

51:55🔗 Drew You should be happy. Elisha is a healthy young woman. She's healthy.

51:59🔗 Caller Thank you.

52:00🔗 Adam Let's play a record.

52:01🔗 Caller She's...

52:01🔗 Adam She must be behind.

52:03🔗 Drew Emotionally healthy, see?

52:06🔗 Adam Kurt Cobain died 10 years ago this week. Yeah, let's talk about that. Let's play Nirvana Super Sex. Let's play all...

52:13🔗 Elisha Cuthbert It smells like teen spirit.

52:14🔗 Adam Let's play all three Nirvana records, okay?

52:16🔗 Drew Starting now.

52:17🔗 Adam Morgan?

52:18🔗 Caller Yes?

52:18🔗 Adam You're 16?

52:19🔗 Caller Yes, and I'm having anal sex with my boyfriend. And although it doesn't hurt, I'm still wondering if it could be like doing damage to my insides.

52:30🔗 Adam Hmm, meaning your soul?

52:34🔗 Drew The spirit?

52:36🔗 Adam What do you got in there, Drew, to damage?

52:39🔗 Drew Well, you have something called the rectum.

52:42🔗 Adam Mm-hmm.

52:43🔗 Drew And you can tear things, and you can cause disruption of the muscle, the sphincter function. You cause hemorrhoids and fistulas and abscesses. But when does that keep hurting? Yeah, usually, but not necessarily so. It's something that... It's a part of your body that starts having trouble in the seventh and eighth-deck grade of life anyway. And you may be helping things along a bit with all this. Mm-hmm.

53:09🔗 Adam Hey, more, more, hold on. How old is he?

53:13🔗 Drew There's not 39, Adam. He's not.

53:16🔗 Adam He's got the penis of a 39-year-old, though. Wait, getting into the anal at 16, where do you go? You know what I mean? Like, when I was 16, I had nowhere to go but up. And I mean up the poop chute. I just mean up. I know. It's horrible talk. But we're in what you call safe harbor, so screw the FCC. What I'm saying is, is I had nowhere to go but up. You know, I had nothing. It was all-

53:42🔗 Drew You're on the bottom. I mean, at your bottom.

53:44🔗 Adam Everything, everything would have been-

53:45🔗 Drew Suddenly everything gets double entendre.

53:48🔗 Adam All I'm saying is, is everything was a new and exciting sexual time for me.

53:53🔗 Drew There was nowhere else to go with it. Yes, you at 16 are maxed out.

53:57🔗 Adam At 16, when you're engaging in anal sex, you're maxed out.

54:01🔗 Elisha Cuthbert It's like getting a jag at like 15.

54:03🔗 Adam That's right.

54:04🔗 Elisha Cuthbert Where do you go?

54:04🔗 Adam Where are you going?

54:05🔗 Elisha Cuthbert Where are you going?

54:06🔗 Adam Step down, you get a Lexus. It's a big let down at 18.

54:11🔗 Drew Yeah, the Land Cruiser doesn't make it anymore.

54:13🔗 Adam That's right. All right, Morgan.

54:15🔗 Drew Well, there you go.

54:16🔗 Caller I also have a really quick question for Dr. Drew.

54:19🔗 Drew Yeah, Morgan.

54:19🔗 Caller All right, so if I'm on antidepressant and I'm having trouble sleeping, like I have too much energy, would it be better for me to take it in the morning or at night?

54:29🔗 Drew Well, obviously in the morning, if part of the problem is sleeplessness, but which one are you on? Effexor?

54:34🔗 Caller Olexapro, because it's actually for anxiety, but.

54:38🔗 Drew Well, Olexapro is a real good antidepressant. It's a mild one. It doesn't usually cause a lot of stimulation like that. And it makes me worry that you might be moving towards something called bipolarity or hypomania. So you need to talk to your doctor. You may need a mood stabilizer in addition to the Olexapro. So it may not be the wakefulness and the anxiety. It may be actually getting into sort of a mood instability.

54:58🔗 Adam And if she's able to have anal sex at 16, this medication is working on her anxiety.

55:03🔗 Drew Yeah, or making her manic, like I said, because manic will do all kinds of things.

55:08🔗 Adam Really? Got a party with some of them.

55:10🔗 Caller Well, it was never anxiety about like social anxiety. It was always about school.

55:16🔗 Drew What's your ethnicity? All right. So it's a good medicine. Be careful. You know, there's a lot of controversy. And one of the things that we think we're seeing right now, by the way, and this is sort of not something that's in good medical literature, but I've heard psychiatrists speculate about this, that using antidepressants in people before the cement is dry in their brain, that use it in adolescence, like the 16-year-old Morgan, may actually be the reason we're seeing so much increase in bipolarity. May I be causing manic depression in adulthood.

55:48🔗 Adam So, is adolescence like a 9 to 18?

55:52🔗 Drew No, it's really...

55:54🔗 Adam 16?

55:55🔗 Drew It's 12 to 20, basically. It's defined in different ways by different people. There's early, middle and late adolescence.

56:04🔗 Adam Because we're feeding people too many drugs too early, and that may be disrupting the delicate chemistry up there, which is causing these manic mania stuff later on in life.

56:15🔗 Drew So, the question is, are we just identifying more bipolar illness in this country because there's a greater awareness of it and better diagnostic skills, or are we actually creating more of it by treating so many adolescents with antidepressants? Interesting question.

56:28🔗 Adam Yeah, interesting for you, not for any of our listeners.

56:32🔗 Drew Yeah, go bite your anal talk. That was much more interesting. I think that leaves your question.

56:37🔗 Elisha Cuthbert Yeah.

56:37🔗 Adam As a matter of fact, we're going to start doing Adam's anal corner on Wednesdays. I think. Corner.

56:43🔗 Drew Oh, you said corner.

56:45🔗 Adam Sound like corner. Let's keep moving here. Is this who?

56:50🔗 Drew Do you want to go to one? You stay in Adam's corner.

56:52🔗 Adam Lacey?

56:52🔗 Caller Yes.

56:53🔗 Adam You're 21?

56:54🔗 Caller Yes, I have a question. All right. Okay, my question is, can a guy get off when his partner sticks their finger up the guy's rectum?

57:05🔗 Drew No.

57:06🔗 Caller No?

57:06🔗 Adam I mean, can he get off like in a sort of milking way or in a...

57:11🔗 Drew I mean, like would he have an orgasm just from that stimulation?

57:14🔗 Caller Yeah, that...

57:15🔗 Adam No.

57:15🔗 Drew No. And most men don't like that. And by most, I mean most most, a significant majority do not like that.

57:24🔗 Caller Yeah.

57:25🔗 Drew So take your cosmos and burn them, even Adam's corn-er, he doesn't like it.

57:32🔗 Adam No, but I got to tell you, it depends whose hand that finger's attached to.

57:39🔗 Drew Yeah, because some people you let do anything.

57:43🔗 Adam In your case, I'm just saying, if there's like a huge, like we're talking about Julia Roberts earlier, like if she's like was begging me, like, can I put my index finger in your focus?

57:51🔗 I'd be like, OK.

57:52🔗 Drew Yeah, but that'd be just.

57:53🔗 Adam I'll be down with that.

57:54🔗 Drew That'd be just supplication, basically. That would not be.

57:57🔗 Adam Yeah. Well, whatever. Be nice the next day. Like, be like, hey, guess whose finger's in my butt? No. Guess again. And no, take people like eight or nine guesses before they got to Julia Roberts. I would let her do that. But I'm just saying.

58:10🔗 Drew I can eat that finger.

58:11🔗 Adam In 12 guesses. No fair smell in the finger. Oh, no, wait. I wouldn't have it.

58:16🔗 Drew No.

58:16🔗 Adam Or maybe it broke off.

58:17🔗 Elisha Cuthbert I'm trying so hard to stay calm.

58:19🔗 Adam All right. We're going to focus now. We're going to focus. Do you see that movie Road Trip?

58:24🔗 Elisha Cuthbert I was just going to say that.

58:25🔗 Caller I heard it from, I watched it from that and then I heard it from my own day.

58:29🔗 Adam No, because look, every time a guy got a rectal exam, he would also give a semen sample.

58:34🔗 Drew And not only that, guys are not bashful about what it is they want and need. If we're into it, we do it. Listen, yeah, they will tell you exactly what the wheelhouse is for them and that's that.

58:44🔗 Adam Yeah. So if he wants to do it, do it.

58:49🔗 Drew You will never meet a guy, there is no human male walking the earth who was talking to his buddies about what his girlfriend did the night before by acting upon things she read in Cosmo or Red Book.

59:02🔗 Adam Right.

59:02🔗 Drew There's no guy going, Stu, you'll never believe what she did to me. It is in Cosmo. No, no, never ever ever.

59:07🔗 Adam No, and listen, here's the other thing. It's not about what they do to us, it's about what they let us do to them. Sadly. I mean, that's the way it is with guys. Guys like what happened, well so and so finally let me do whatever. Once in a while there's a gave me in there sprinkled in, but in general, we're not really looking, we're looking to let you let us do stuff to you. And we don't mean that in a bad way, but don't worry, you don't have to impress us, you don't have to dance.

59:40🔗 Drew Listen, I just said that just be there.

59:43🔗 Adam Show up, show up, be a good thing.

59:44🔗 Drew A little enthusiasm.

59:46🔗 Adam A little muster, a little false enthusiasm.

59:48🔗 Drew Any kind of enthusiasm.

59:49🔗 Adam That's right.

59:50🔗 Drew And that's it. That's right.

59:51🔗 Adam Act like you don't mind what we're about to do to you.

59:54🔗 Drew That's adequate, but it's superior, just a little bit of actual appreciation.

1:00:00🔗 Adam Yeah, yeah, get into it, yeah, pretend like you're into it.

1:00:03🔗 Drew Yeah, whatever.

1:00:04🔗 Adam Or be into it.

1:00:05🔗 Drew Yeah, whatever.

1:00:06🔗 Adam And by the way, for the record, as long as I can't tell, I don't, you know, I don't care. Fake an orgasm. I was just going to say. I'll tell you, I think it's good and I don't know, I'm not going to, I'm not going to put the guest in a bad spot, but if you do fake an orgasm.

1:00:21🔗 Drew You haven't done anything like that so far tonight, very bad spot.

1:00:24🔗 Adam No, I have not, no, quiet down, if you fake an orgasm, I would suggest holding one back every about 9th to 12th orgasm and here's, here's what I'm saying. So if you're faking orgasms with your boyfriend or husband and once every few weeks don't have an orgasm, he'll never catch on.

1:00:46🔗 Drew So you're faking. Also gives you an out to start to slow it down and switch over to the real thing.

1:00:51🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:00:51🔗 Drew You started going out, I don't understand that at that time. How do you have trouble once in a while but now I seem to have trouble all the time.

1:00:56🔗 Adam It does give you an out eventually when you do want to stop faking and have this conversation with him that usually is going to involve oral sex on his part. But what I'm saying is, is if you have like a thousand orgasms in a row, eventually he's going to think maybe you're fake one. Every once in a while you just go, man, I don't know, it just wasn't happening today.

1:01:15🔗 Drew No, no girls. I just need, I'm fine. I'm fine. No, no, I'm fine. Don't need one.

1:01:18🔗 Adam I'm fine.

1:01:19🔗 Elisha Cuthbert I'm fine.

1:01:19🔗 Adam Yeah, well, I mean, just say I saw like Marathon Man on TNT and a whole dentist scene freaked me out or.

1:01:25🔗 Drew No, no, you're thinking like a male again. Yeah. The girl, one will just sometimes say, no, no, no, don't, no, no, no, don't spoil.

1:01:30🔗 Adam Yeah, but you see that's not not having an orgasm. That's not wanting an orgasm.

1:01:35🔗 Drew All right.

1:01:35🔗 Adam Or needing an orgasm. I'm saying you got to let him know every once in a while it wasn't happening. Yeah, see?

1:01:42🔗 Drew Yeah, yeah.

1:01:42🔗 Adam That's good advice, right?

1:01:44🔗 Elisha Cuthbert Yeah, I get it.

1:01:44🔗 Adam Right.

1:01:46🔗 Caller I hear you.

1:01:48🔗 Adam Do you?

1:01:48🔗 Elisha Cuthbert I hear you.

1:01:50🔗 Adam Jasmine?

1:01:51🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:01:52🔗 Adam Drew, do you think she hears me?

1:01:53🔗 Drew I sure said so.

1:01:54🔗 Caller Okay.

1:01:55🔗 Adam Jasmine?

1:01:56🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:01:57🔗 Adam You're 17?

1:01:58🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:01:58🔗 Adam I have a question for Elisha.

1:02:00🔗 Caller Yeah, I want to know how many movies you've done that like people in America or anywhere would know about like what their names are.

1:02:09🔗 Elisha Cuthbert Probably four in total. There was a there was a TV movie on Lifetime I did a long time ago wasn't called Lucky Girl. I'm trying to think what they change it to. But old school love, actually.

1:02:23🔗 Adam Yes.

1:02:24🔗 Elisha Cuthbert And this one, The Girl Next Door. My daughter's Secret Life. That's what it was called. It was on Lifetime.

1:02:30🔗 Adam What are we doing? You're junkie or something?

1:02:32🔗 Elisha Cuthbert Yeah. Yeah. Well, addicted to gambling and then. Yeah.

1:02:37🔗 Adam 14 year old girl addicted to gambling.

1:02:40🔗 Elisha Cuthbert No, it wasn't that long ago. I was like 18 maybe.

1:02:43🔗 Adam 18. But how old were you playing? You're playing 18?

1:02:47🔗 Elisha Cuthbert Yeah.

1:02:47🔗 Adam Well, it gets naughty about it. I was just curious.

1:02:50🔗 Elisha Cuthbert She gets involved with like a loan shark.

1:02:52🔗 Adam Oh, really?

1:02:53🔗 Drew Yeah. Yeah.

1:02:53🔗 Adam Uh-oh.

1:02:54🔗 Elisha Cuthbert Dangerous.

1:02:54🔗 Adam And then any prostitution?

1:02:57🔗 Elisha Cuthbert No, but she gets in some weird situations.

1:03:00🔗 Adam Well, we do have a huge gambling problem amongst attractive blondes.

1:03:05🔗 Drew 19 year olds especially. 19 year old females. 15 and 19. 15 and 19.

1:03:09🔗 Adam Alright. Let's get back to the phones and how long has Lifetime been around?

1:03:15🔗 Caller A while. Yeah.

1:03:17🔗 Adam It's always weird. You know, whenever you look at those cable breakdowns, like once in a while you flip to the back of the newspaper and it says like the biggest cable stations. You know, you think cable, you know, you think like MTV and you think, I don't know.

1:03:31🔗 Caller HBO.

1:03:32🔗 Adam Yeah, HBO. And maybe. What is it? Maybe it's a Comedy Central in there somewhere. Those those things are always way down. It's always something like Lifetime or C-SPAN or History Channel or something. Something you wouldn't think like Discovery, like Discovery Kids or something like MTV is like, I don't know, 19. You think of it as in the top five. It's not maybe not in the top 20. It's not funny, but informative. Colin.

1:04:00🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:04:01🔗 Adam Yeah. Hey, you're 16. What's up?

1:04:03🔗 Caller Are you excited to play Death on The Family Guy?

1:04:06🔗 Adam Yes, I am. The Family Guy, which is one of our favorite animated series, is coming back.

1:04:11🔗 Drew But not near as excited as I am to play anything.

1:04:14🔗 Adam I told my dear, dear friend, Seth MacFarlane, who writes and has all the voices and created the show.

1:04:23🔗 Drew I will not let this slip away.

1:04:24🔗 Adam And maybe on Fox, possibly right around the time 24 is on.

1:04:30🔗 Drew But no, I got it. My kids love that show.

1:04:34🔗 Elisha Cuthbert Me too. I like it.

1:04:35🔗 Drew Family Guy?

1:04:35🔗 Elisha Cuthbert I like the baby.

1:04:37🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:04:38🔗 Drew What the deuce?

1:04:39🔗 Adam Yeah. So, you know, they're going to be doing 30 more episodes and hopefully I'll get to come back.

1:04:46🔗 Drew Oh, I could be Brian's doctor.

1:04:49🔗 Adam All right.

1:04:50🔗 Drew He's an alcoholic.

1:04:51🔗 Adam Good times.

1:04:52🔗 Elisha Cuthbert Yeah.

1:04:53🔗 Adam All right. And, you know, the family guy's kind of like 24 in the sense, except for the family guy, they actually yanked. But once in a while, there's a good story. Well, here's the TV is usually bad.

1:05:06🔗 Elisha Cuthbert I thought you said you didn't watch 24, though.

1:05:08🔗 Adam No, I never. But here's the thing.

1:05:10🔗 Elisha Cuthbert But we're comparing.

1:05:11🔗 Adam I'm too old to watch it.

1:05:13🔗 Elisha Cuthbert Oh, that's true. I got to watch it.

1:05:15🔗 Adam It's not. I watch Lawrence Welk on a three quarter inch reel to reel. It's a huge old reel like I got some old Guy Lombardo and stuff. I watch huge. I not only can I not watch new shows, I can't avail myself of any of the new technology. I have to watch old. Like I have like Elvis's video recorder, like back from the 70s when Bob Crane used to take porn in. With. But here's the thing. 24, it was one of these shows that started. Nobody watched, but everyone said what a great show it was. Yeah. And it was it got such great critical acclaim.

1:05:51🔗 Drew That they gave it a chance to pick up an audience.

1:05:53🔗 Adam It did. And and and it's been slowly picking up steam. But just based on being a very good show, based on what I hear, and I have a lot of people that I respect that are really into the show.

1:06:04🔗 Drew Which is a rare move on television part. Family Guy being the usual case, which everyone thought was a great show, they didn't give a chance to.

1:06:11🔗 Adam Right. Right, but now the Family Guy is coming back because of the sales of DVDs and all that kind of stuff.

1:06:18🔗 Elisha Cuthbert So it's kind of it's kind of better than the drop off, though, like big off the top. And then all of a sudden fades out.

1:06:23🔗 Adam Right.

1:06:24🔗 Elisha Cuthbert It's a nice gradual. Yeah. Word of mouth.

1:06:27🔗 Adam Well, it's organic.

1:06:28🔗 Elisha Cuthbert It's real. Exactly.

1:06:29🔗 Adam It's not some publicist that hyped everything up and bought a bunch of billboard space. It's an organic legit. It's not a fake orgasm. Hmm. You know what I'm saying? That's not some hooker wants you to get an offer. See what I'm saying?

1:06:44🔗 Drew You're going to look cathartic, Adam. Relax. Relax.

1:06:48🔗 Adam I didn't say Vietnamese, did I? Let's keep moving forward then.

1:06:54🔗 Drew I thought you said Thai.

1:06:56🔗 Caller Matt? Yeah.

1:06:57🔗 Adam You're 23?

1:06:59🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:07:00🔗 Adam You're addicted to Oxycontin and Vicodin?

1:07:05🔗 Drew It's good times.

1:07:07🔗 Caller Well, I was in a couple of car accidents. The first one was probably about, it was actually about two years ago.

1:07:13🔗 Drew But now you're addicted. So what do you want to do about it?

1:07:16🔗 Caller Basically, what I'm trying to do is I wing myself down quite a bit.

1:07:19🔗 Drew No, I know. But that's not going to happen.

1:07:21🔗 Caller I know. That's what I wanted to ask you basically. That's been my problem.

1:07:25🔗 Drew No, you've got to get treatment. First of all, getting off the drug, getting detoxed, taking you off is the easiest part. The easiest thing in the world.

1:07:32🔗 Adam Most difficult.

1:07:33🔗 Drew It's uncomfortable. It's about five to seven days. Any addiction medicine program can get you through it. It's not a big deal at all. And then the hard part though is staying off opiates once you've had that sort of switch thrown in your brain. And that is a chronic, chronic, long-term proposition. You've got to really get with an intensive program and stay with it. You have to go into a hospital for a while. Because if you're outside of a, or sober living, if you're outside of a structured environment, you will go back to using the drugs. It permanently changes the motivational systems of your brain in a non-conscious, very visceral drive center of the brain and makes it very difficult to, you really, it distorts everything. Your thinking, your feeling, you know, what do you think is important and it will get you back to the drugs again, always.

1:08:16🔗 Caller I do know that, actually. It's been some time. I've actually been on and off a couple of times.

1:08:20🔗 Drew Yeah. You can't stay off unless you've been treated. That's just the way it works. Well, you gave yourself some help there, man. So go to the Hay-Dash-Free Clinic. It's very good. You're up in San Francisco. Yeah. Hay-Dash-Free.

1:08:29🔗 Caller I have to go to school at State over there.

1:08:31🔗 Drew Perfect. Hay-Dash-Free Clinic. Check it out. Be careful if they put you on buprenorphine. Methadone? Earn betadone. Just go for the taper. Yeah, I don't want to do that. Don't go on any maintenance, all right?

1:08:43🔗 Adam It doesn't sound like he's deep enough into it for that.

1:08:46🔗 Drew No, no, no, no.

1:08:46🔗 Adam Drew has patients take a hundred Vicodin a day, hasn't he?

1:08:50🔗 Drew I'd want to have taken a hundred a day who went instantly and suddenly permanently deaf both years. Pow! And now just lost everything. Which now they've recorded the Vicodin causing hearing problems. Mm-hmm. Good times.

1:09:02🔗 Adam Elisha, don't go down that road, girl.

1:09:05🔗 Elisha Cuthbert I'm not. No.

1:09:05🔗 Adam You're in Hollywood now. They're becoming successful. People, a lot of people waving a lot of drugs in front of you, wanting to party, you know what I mean?

1:09:14🔗 Elisha Cuthbert Yeah.

1:09:15🔗 Adam Got to say no.

1:09:16🔗 Elisha Cuthbert Yeah.

1:09:16🔗 Adam Little Booze is cool.

1:09:18🔗 Elisha Cuthbert Oh, is it?

1:09:19🔗 Drew She's Irish-Scottish.

1:09:20🔗 Elisha Cuthbert I'm Irish. I like the Guinness.

1:09:22🔗 Adam All right, you drink, drink, you have a little booze. Once in a while, you wash down a downer with some booze, like if you got to travel or something like that. I mean, that's cool. Doesn't mean you have a prom. And if you need a couple glasses, maybe four or five down wine after a nightly radio show, that's a lot of stress. That's, that's within reason. I think you're an adult, you're male.

1:09:42🔗 Drew Yeah. It's going to be tough when it comes time for you to be treated. I'm not going to be able to do it. The boundary problems are too intense.

1:09:50🔗 Adam Come on, buddy.

1:09:51🔗 Drew I'm not going to send you up to somebody else.

1:09:53🔗 Adam All right. Didn't you look at my penis at one time?

1:09:56🔗 Drew Yeah. On your point.

1:10:00🔗 Adam This was about four years ago.

1:10:03🔗 Drew Was that long ago?

1:10:04🔗 Adam Four years ago.

1:10:05🔗 Elisha Cuthbert I was waiting for you to say, a couple of nights ago.

1:10:08🔗 Drew Well, that was not in the professional setting.

1:10:14🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:10:15🔗 Drew Glad you asked.

1:10:15🔗 Adam Glad you asked. Let me address that.

1:10:18🔗 Drew Right now.

1:10:18🔗 Adam Well, Drew oftentimes says on the show that young people living in an urban area, 50 percent at least have the wart virus, the HPV wart virus is becoming more and more prevalent. I was explaining to him that I did not have the wart virus. He was explaining to me that I probably did. I just didn't know about it. And somehow guys can harbor this and not actually man. It doesn't manifest itself as a war necessarily. Right. So really. So we had a little bet. Hundred dollar bet. We're going to do it on the air.

1:10:53🔗 Drew I went across the street.

1:10:54🔗 Adam I was going to pull out my dingling.

1:10:56🔗 Drew Well, it's we had to do a little procedure on the dingling. If you don't want to dump acetic acid on it and then shine is what's called a woods light on it.

1:11:03🔗 Adam It's purple light. They probably use it like a black light, like a black light.

1:11:07🔗 Drew Exactly.

1:11:07🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:11:08🔗 Adam Yeah. So wait.

1:11:08🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:11:09🔗 Adam I usually.

1:11:10🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:11:10🔗 Adam When I travel and when you check the beds, the hotel rooms, I can see a pentagram drawn in semen on my sheet at the red roof. And oh, yes, some guys can do that.

1:11:23🔗 Elisha Cuthbert So did you or did you not?

1:11:25🔗 Drew We have a tape of this, don't we?

1:11:27🔗 Adam Yeah. Anderson's not around here. There was nothing.

1:11:31🔗 Drew There was some suspicious stuff.

1:11:33🔗 Adam No.

1:11:34🔗 Drew Yes.

1:11:34🔗 Caller Oh, yes. Oh, yes.

1:11:35🔗 Drew Oh, yes.

1:11:37🔗 Adam Oh, yes, please. Here's let me say this first up. How dare you?

1:11:41🔗 Elisha Cuthbert How dare you?

1:11:44🔗 Adam Here's all you need to know. Drew is the cheapest son of a bitch in the United States. He is super cheap and he paid me the $100. He would not have paid me the $100.

1:11:54🔗 Drew If it were obvious.

1:11:55🔗 Adam If there were something on the Peckeroo.

1:11:58🔗 Drew He had a stunt penis on that night though.

1:12:00🔗 Adam It was beautiful.

1:12:01🔗 Drew It was pristine. Pristine stunt penis.

1:12:03🔗 Adam It's got that new penis smell. It's amazing. Oh, yes. Yeah. Very sad. Well, it's an old penis. So you'll never see it. All right. But true, it looks new, right?

1:12:17🔗 Elisha Cuthbert I'm OK with that.

1:12:18🔗 Adam All right.

1:12:19🔗 Drew Not not seeing it.

1:12:20🔗 Adam That is.

1:12:20🔗 Drew Yeah. She's OK with that.

1:12:21🔗 Adam It looks new, though, right?

1:12:23🔗 Drew Pristine. That's why it was. I know it was yours.

1:12:25🔗 Adam It's an 18 year old penis stunt. It's I have the penis of Dorian Gray in my underpants.

1:12:30🔗 Drew Yeah. It's turned to dust one of these days.

1:12:32🔗 Adam Thank you. All right. That's it with Alicia. Now she finally gets to leave. And I want to tell everyone to go see that girl next door. I saw it. I enjoyed it. Oh, I got to talk to Alicia about the last 10 seconds of it that I think I met.

1:12:48🔗 Elisha Cuthbert You only missed 10 seconds?

1:12:49🔗 Adam I'll tell you. Well, I'll tell you. See, you got I don't want to say I don't want to give anything away on the air. So we'll just talk off the air. All right.

1:12:58🔗 Elisha Cuthbert I see what you're saying.

1:12:59🔗 Adam All right. So, Alicia, why? I was like, OK, you you actually are in the neighborhood. So you should come by periodically.

1:13:07🔗 Elisha Cuthbert I will.

1:13:08🔗 Adam Give out 24 plugs.

1:13:09🔗 Drew Remember how we we divined what is bogus and what is not? Yeah, I will. I will.

1:13:16🔗 Elisha Cuthbert Right now, I'm a.

1:13:19🔗 Adam All right, baby doll. Listen, you come back, you plug.

1:13:22🔗 Elisha Cuthbert All right.

1:13:23🔗 Adam Good times.

1:13:24🔗 Elisha Cuthbert Good times.

1:13:25🔗 Adam We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back.

1:13:28🔗 Caller Dr Loveline, we'll be right back.

1:13:41🔗 Adam Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Elisha Cuthbert has left the building. There's going to be, let's see, what do I call them? Sploozers. Sploozers, that's Spaz meets Loser. Whenever their hot chick comes on to the show, especially if she was in FHM or one of these-

1:14:05🔗 Drew Maxim.

1:14:06🔗 Adam Maxim or one of these guy magazines, there's always the Sploozers, as I like to call them again. You take the word Spaz, you connect it with the word Loser.

1:14:17🔗 Drew You got Spaz on my Loser.

1:14:19🔗 Adam You got Loser on my Spaz. Sploozer. Now, let me explain the Sploozer. These are, they're all waiting out front. They're going to get their Maxim sign. Here's the build. White guy. You don't see too many, there's no like Japanese Sploozers, maybe in Japan.

1:14:38🔗 Drew I don't think they're African American either.

1:14:42🔗 Adam It's pretty much exclusively white guys. White guys got a couple extra pounds on them. Usually, but not morbidly obese.

1:14:52🔗 Drew I just think of the guy that's the comic book store owner.

1:14:55🔗 Adam From The Simpsons.

1:14:56🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:14:58🔗 Adam Here's one of the calling cards of the Sploozers is bad tennis shoes. This is the guy, by the way, who could spend the 32 bucks at the Foot Locker for the Nikes that are on sale, but instead saves $4 and gets the $26 Aviva ones with the double hook and loop strap that pull over, so they look like nurse's shoes. And then wears those with the sock pulled up high. Going about mid calf there.

1:15:25🔗 Drew Velcro.

1:15:26🔗 Adam Yeah, Velcro. Someone's got to explain tennis shoes to people, which is three bucks. Believe me, you're going to forget about that. You're going to forget about that the first time when your buddy makes funny out on the basketball court. That's that weird sort of off-white nurse shoe that has a sole that comes up in the back and in the front. And then that's just two big Velcro straps on the top. And it's some sign that you've never seen before on the side of the shoe. It's just some sort of perforated thing that looks like a sperm or something.

1:15:58🔗 Caller Right. Yeah.

1:15:59🔗 Adam So it's always bad. Yeah. That's spoozer. T-shirt, gut, bad facial hair. Not quite a mullet, but the makings of a mullet.

1:16:10🔗 Drew Something, something with the hair.

1:16:11🔗 Adam He could go mullet momentarily.

1:16:13🔗 Drew Ponytail.

1:16:14🔗 Adam He could make a mullet move in a heartbeat.

1:16:17🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:16:18🔗 Adam If it's a situation where you need a quick mullet, he could do that.

1:16:22🔗 Drew Move to mullet.

1:16:22🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:16:23🔗 Adam He could make that move to mullet. Whereas a guy like you, Drew, it would take years for you to get to mullet.

1:16:28🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:16:29🔗 Adam Maybe more.

1:16:30🔗 Drew Maybe I would make it.

1:16:31🔗 Adam Right. You might die before you got to mullet. Not these guys. They're enthusiastic and they get the stuff signed. Now, it's unclear what they do with it. They go home, there's some cataloging.

1:16:44🔗 Drew Collecting, eBay.

1:16:46🔗 Adam There's a combination, by the way. There's definitely a bizarre masturbatorial side.

1:16:52🔗 Drew Ritualistically, yes.

1:16:53🔗 Adam Yeah. These guys aren't fighting off. No, they go home, there's candles lit. There's a picture of Elisha. They talk to it. What? You like my shoes with the double Velcro strap? You think they're hot? There's a little of that going on. But then there's a entrepreneurial spirit to these guys too. Not the kind where you make any money, not enough to move out of your mom's house. But there's that, I'm going to sign this. It'll be on eBay. I only paid $4.95 for the maximum. It's eight today. This time next year, it could be up to $9.50, $9.75. There's the entrepreneurial spirit.

1:17:30🔗 Drew You never know.

1:17:31🔗 Adam I'll be an angry mob of these guys waiting for me like Frankenstein's land, the villagers.

1:17:39🔗 Drew Torches out in front of the studio.

1:17:41🔗 Adam Let me tell you this about The Splooser. The Splooser has a sense of humor, not a great sense of humor, but enough to leave me alone when I go to my car. They understand the Sploosers. They understand it. Ain't no big deal.

1:17:54🔗 Drew They have a mission.

1:17:55🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:17:55🔗 Drew And as long as you don't get in the way of their mission.

1:17:57🔗 Adam Yeah. They want to get their S sign. Carina? Year 15? Yeah. I know you've been on hold for 106 minutes. I just had to chronicle the plight of the Splooser. It's one of the great operas.

1:18:14🔗 Drew What's up, Carina?

1:18:17🔗 Caller What?

1:18:18🔗 Drew What's going on?

1:18:20🔗 Caller Well, I have this really weird obsession with typing and I don't know.

1:18:26🔗 Drew You mean like typewriter typing?

1:18:28🔗 Caller Like, yeah.

1:18:30🔗 Drew What is the nature of the obsession?

1:18:33🔗 Caller What do you mean?

1:18:34🔗 Drew Explain it. What do you mean?

1:18:36🔗 Caller Well, it's really weird. I don't know.

1:18:39🔗 Caller I can't stop doing it.

1:18:44🔗 Adam Okay. Thank you for shedding light on that. Yeah. How many words a minute can you type?

1:18:51🔗 Caller Like about 50.

1:18:55🔗 Drew Are you typing words? Are you typing letters?

1:18:59🔗 Caller Yeah, just anything.

1:19:01🔗 Adam Well, why don't you get a gig doing stenography or something? I mean, why don't you turn lemons into lemonade?

1:19:08🔗 Drew Medical transcriptionist.

1:19:09🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:19:13🔗 Drew All right. What do you want from us?

1:19:14🔗 Adam What do you want? What do I want? Let me tell you something about Karina. On hold for how long, Drew?

1:19:20🔗 Drew 106 minutes, 52 seconds.

1:19:22🔗 Adam 106 minutes. Talk to her for a minute and 19 seconds. Not a good ratio, by the way. Here's the ratio you want, kids. You want to be on hold for like two minutes and have me talk to you for 10 minutes. Yeah. This is not that.

1:19:36🔗 Drew Let's see if we can get, maybe she just was too tired from being on hold. So let's give her one quick break to Karina. Let's put it this way. Why did you call the show?

1:19:44🔗 Caller I want to know why. I mean, whenever I'm not doing it, I can't stop thinking about it.

1:19:55🔗 Drew You may be an obsessive compulsive person. And that may need treatment. Yes. And sometimes people find repetitive kinds of actions soothing because they can move into an altered stage and go into a dreamlike state. It's what people get into it, why they get into a computer porn. They can kind of be transported by that kind of altered state of sensorium that they're in when they're just staring at the screen and doing stuff. And typing can be kind of like that too. And if you're an obsessive compulsive person, whatever reason it's sort of become part of that obsessive compulsive syndrome for you.

1:20:28🔗 Adam You could do worse than typing.

1:20:30🔗 Drew Yeah. Being obsessive compulsive can be very productive in our society. It's sort of rewarded. And so if you look and channel it and be like as Adam was saying, become a transcriptionist or something, you may enjoy it. It may have a way of channeling all that energy and do something worthwhile.

1:20:43🔗 Adam Most super effective, highly successful people have some sort of disorder.

1:20:49🔗 Drew Yes.

1:20:49🔗 Adam That really doesn't let them rest. And they're sort of tortured. So it's like even though they've got all the money in the world, they have to go out on tour another time, even though they're in their 50s kind of thing. It's like they're driven. And sane people, when they got enough money in the bank, stay home. Yeah. And do what they want to do.

1:21:12🔗 Drew That's right.

1:21:13🔗 Adam So she can turn this into something positive.

1:21:16🔗 Drew Potentially. It's suspicious. Be careful. You might need to get evaluated.

1:21:20🔗 Adam Speaking of suspicious.

1:21:21🔗 Drew If you're doing other stuff like pulling your hair out, your eyelashes out, that kind of thing, but watch out.

1:21:25🔗 Adam Suspicious, Adam. What's with the Louis Vuitton?

1:21:28🔗 Drew This is my wife got me this and it's fake. It's not real.

1:21:31🔗 Adam A wallet in the hot pink pager.

1:21:35🔗 Drew That is.

1:21:36🔗 Adam What is up? I mean, look, if I saw this mess on the table, I think a hooker must have been killed here. It's a crime scene. Yeah. Well, let's see. She drove BMW. I guess red was her color, probably the same color of her lipstick, and I don't know why she was carrying a wallet when she was clearly a woman.

1:21:53🔗 Drew Here's the deal. It takes a man of exquisite passion and great masculinity to be able to carry these kinds of accoutrements.

1:22:00🔗 Adam I guess so.

1:22:01🔗 Drew Yeah. Here's the deal. Thank you, boy, because it does look very suspicious.

1:22:06🔗 Adam Yeah. By the way, what happens if you get into an accident, and the paramedics have to come in and start looking for ID because you're unconscious and they pull out this wallet, and they're like, Dr. Drew is gay. Hey, Burt, come here.

1:22:21🔗 Drew He looks it, doesn't he?

1:22:22🔗 Adam Yes.

1:22:23🔗 Drew Well, it's just I'm a kindred spirit. I like to share with my brethren. My wife bought this.

1:22:28🔗 Adam Black guy could get away with it.

1:22:29🔗 Drew I got this literally because they didn't have the black ones. That's all they had. That's all they had. I thought, all right, Red, I can see it better.

1:22:35🔗 Adam Whatever. What's your wife thinking giving you a Louis Vuitton wallet?

1:22:39🔗 Drew Because she and her buddies buy fake stuff all the time. They buy fake purses and they think it's the coolest thing ever. And she gave me this for Christmas or birthday or something. And it works. It's good. Functions. You'd like it too. You just say something works. You say whatever.

1:22:55🔗 Adam Right. No, not that. I would do something. You know that, you know, this thing could aid from a nice piece of duct tape just right around it. You could man that thing up. A little duct tape. Maybe I'll hit it with some primer. Oh, yeah. We'll put a little Bondo on it. It'll look like an El Camino. Yeah, good times. I'll put some duct tape on there, Drew. I don't want to be seen with you with that. Mark.

1:23:19🔗 Caller Hello.

1:23:20🔗 Adam 22?

1:23:21🔗 Caller Yeah. Well, just before I say anything else, I just wanted to tell both of you that I've been listening to your show for like years. And I really love it. And Adam, I've watched new episodes without you and Jimmy on The Man Show and they just totally blow.

1:23:40🔗 Drew Is it still in production? Are they going to do it again? Hold on.

1:23:44🔗 Adam Let me say something for a second, by the way. Oh, I was just thinking about that that ass rag entertainment weekly or whatever it is that did that lovely review of The New Man Show saying how much better it was than The Old Man Show and heaping praise on The New Man Show. And all I want and I don't want to go off on a self-referential jag for too long, but but please, people, when you read it, you know, when you read stuff, understand that most of the people that are writing these things are hacks who oftentimes have a ax to grind.

1:24:24🔗 Drew It's sort of a political motive.

1:24:26🔗 Adam You think people that write articles are just reporters. You think they're just gathering information and then just, well, just type it out. I'll gather it. I'll put it on the page and people can read it. No, they have angles and axes and they're just they're like sports fans. You know, they got their team and they got the team. You know, hey, if you're Mets fan, you hate the Yankees. So don't think you're reading a column and it's just some guy who's just some bipartisan third observer to a situation. It's not that way. And like, yeah, the new man show, the new man show. It's like, oh, this is a great show. Yeah, really? Really? Oh, why? Why doesn't it come back? Well, it is out. Yeah, it's not coming back. Oh, what a shock. What a shock. There's nothing against the guys who did it. You know, Joe and Doug, they're just actors for hire. But it's more... It's that Entertainment Weekly saying Comedy Central performed a Corollaectomy. Yeah, them begging me to come back on the show. Drew's friend, Lord Correo. Yes, Drew? Yes. Executive over there? Went out to four lunches with her while she begged me to do another season, offered me 50 grand an episode. Yeah, said no. Corollaectomy? Yeah. And by the way, you pussies over at Entertainment Weekly, you cowards. You saying how much you love the new show. Obviously just because you got to axe a grind with me and Jimmy. Jimmy's ill-fated trip into late night. Well, he got renewed for another season. It just stopped being assholes. Just write the stupid story and go back to your crappy apartments and blow your boyfriends, would you? Just start reporting the truth for Christ's sake. And by the way, how can you love the new man show and not say anything about the guys who created the entire format, including the theme song? He's like, you hate the guys who created the show? The juggy dancers, the theme song, the entire format. Oh, you hate them. You love the new man show. Pussies, cowards and pussies. Well, your beloved show is not coming back. Shocking. How could you be wrong? It was such a great piece of work. Idiots and a-holes.

1:26:37🔗 Drew No jag here, so that's good.

1:26:38🔗 Adam All right. I'm just, you know what I mean? Just write the goddamn story the way it is. Corolla, act to me. I hucked a loogie.

1:26:46🔗 Drew You sure did.

1:26:46🔗 Adam Oh, for God's sake. I got excited. I hucked up an oyster. But please, what are they talking about?

1:26:51🔗 Drew Chris just vomited looking at you. Come on.

1:26:54🔗 Adam People got to read this goddamn thing and act like I got kicked out? Yeah, and then other people, you know, Stone Stanley, they produce the show. Nobody did anything on that show but me and Jimmy. And most of that was Jimmy. I'm just being honest. We created that goddamn show. And our partner, Daniel, it's got nothing to do with everyone who's profiting off it now in Entertainment Weekly and all those other pussies. It's not coming back. What a shock. What a shock. Oh, you know why? Because they treated it like, well, we never did anything. We're just, oh, the producers did all the work. So you get rid of the stars, you plug in two more stars. Magically, it doesn't work. Gee, wonder why. Maybe the guys who were just guns for hire, maybe they did a little more. Maybe it was their show. Idiots. Of course, the show sucks now. The guys who created the show aren't doing the show. Good times, though. Why doesn't everyone just listen to me, Drew? Shouldn't people just listen to me?

1:27:51🔗 Drew Yes.

1:27:51🔗 Adam Wouldn't it be easier?

1:27:52🔗 Drew In life.

1:27:54🔗 Adam Pussies. It's entertainment week. I wipe my ass with that rag. Who the hell looks at that crap anyway? Oh, you saw it. People point it out to me. They bring it to me. Ass rag. Entertainment Weekly. Where are we, Drew?

1:28:10🔗 Drew We're taking a break.

1:28:11🔗 Adam We'll be right back. So next week, Ron Perlman will be in here. Hell, boy. Paul Tracy, great race car driver, will be in here. Antonio Zapato Jr. I think played a race car driver.

1:28:45🔗 Drew Oh, really?

1:28:45🔗 Adam In that Sylvester Stallone train wreck called Driven. Although I love that stuff.

1:28:53🔗 Drew More survivor contestants coming up.

1:28:57🔗 Adam Colby will be in here. Pennywise coming in, The Darkness coming in. Tina Fey, very funny female comedian, head writer on Saturday Night Live, also anchors the news desk. Oh, yeah. An attractive lady. Smart, Drew. Sure. I bet I won't be too old for her. She'll be in here next, no, the week after. All right. Here we go. What do you say, buddy? Here we go.

1:29:19🔗 Caller Mark? Yeah.

1:29:21🔗 Adam You're 22?

1:29:22🔗 Caller Yeah. Hey, I have another song or a theme song I worked out for Florida or Germany.

1:29:29🔗 Adam It's Germany or Florida.

1:29:30🔗 Caller Or Germany or Florida.

1:29:32🔗 Adam Go ahead.

1:29:33🔗 Caller Check this out. When f'd up things happened on the globe, there's only two places in this whole wide world it can possibly be.

1:29:43🔗 It's either Germany or Florida. It's Germany or Florida. Germany or Florida.

1:29:57🔗 Adam Be nice if you want.

1:29:58🔗 Yeah.

1:29:59🔗 Adam Dan.

1:29:59🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:30:00🔗 Caller I was thinking of that, but I just I didn't want to push it.

1:30:02🔗 Adam It was all over the place. So let's try it one more time and let's really pick it up.

1:30:08🔗 Drew Watch the timing.

1:30:09🔗 Adam Watch the timing. All right. And I'll cue you in two, three and go.

1:30:15🔗 Caller When f'ed up things happen on the globe.

1:30:17🔗 Caller There's only two places in this whole wide world. It can possibly be. It's either Germany or Florida. It's Germany or Florida. Germany or Florida.

1:30:36🔗 Adam Yeah. All right. We can edit. We'll tighten that up in post. Let's sweeten it up. Add the string section.

1:30:44🔗 Caller Was it OK, though?

1:30:46🔗 Drew Yeah, Mark, it was great.

1:30:47🔗 Adam It was great, Mark. And, Mark, I don't know what you're doing for a living, but if it ain't singing, you are wasting you and everyone else's time.

1:30:55🔗 Caller Are you serious?

1:30:56🔗 Adam What are you doing? You're working?

1:30:57🔗 Caller Yeah, I'm working.

1:30:58🔗 Adam Where are you working?

1:30:59🔗 Caller Well, I have two jobs, actually. I work at a, I work at a Marie Callender's.

1:31:05🔗 Adam Hey, that's around pie.

1:31:07🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:31:07🔗 Adam I would do that for free.

1:31:09🔗 Caller And I also work at a, I work at a school, a junior college, actually. Right now.

1:31:15🔗 Adam All right, buddy, you should be singing. Let me see, let me see. What bass I say. Now I'm working at a pie place, Cadian Season Peach. Then I'm heading to the junior college, which by the way, ain't in Germany or Florida. Yeah. Yeah. That was about the same.

1:31:56🔗 Drew It's almost had a recognizable tune though that he was singing.

1:32:01🔗 Adam Crap.

1:32:02🔗 Drew From Crap?

1:32:02🔗 Adam You recognize Crap.

1:32:03🔗 Drew Crap the Musical?

1:32:04🔗 Adam Crap the Musical. Okay. No, that blew chunks. But listen, God bless Mark.

1:32:12🔗 Drew Yeah, for putting it out there.

1:32:14🔗 Adam He is the backbone of the show. Mark and the huge chunk of cash they give me are the reason I come in every night.

1:32:22🔗 Drew And you got to see Elisha tonight. That was good for you.

1:32:24🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:32:25🔗 Drew Elisha.

1:32:25🔗 Adam Yeah. Here's the whole thing about Elisha. You want to call her Elisha. I know.

1:32:31🔗 Drew I know.

1:32:31🔗 Adam It's just quite spelled. It's just Elisha.

1:32:33🔗 Drew I know. It should be like a Y or something.

1:32:35🔗 Adam I know. It needs something. It's almost hard to bend your mind around that one. All right, Drew, are we out of time?

1:32:42🔗 Drew Anyway, Andrew, I think you had a little awakening tonight though about your age. You brought a little reality to us. Good time.

1:32:48🔗 Adam I'll tell you, I was like when she said I'm prom with my age, I was praying it was AIDS. I was actually, I would have been relieved like, I thought you said age for a minute.

1:32:58🔗 Drew You got to get rid of it. It's it. You're over the hump.

1:33:01🔗 Adam Oh yeah. I can't believe it. I can't believe it.

1:33:04🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:33:05🔗 Adam No, because still I move like a cat. Yeah, you hear me. I sing like a bird.

1:33:11🔗 Drew You become kind of like the neighbor.

1:33:13🔗 Adam I F like a man.

1:33:14🔗 Drew The family guy.

1:33:16🔗 Adam I'm going to come up with it in a second. All right.

1:33:19🔗 Drew All right, Drew, don't let that drive you crazy now.

1:33:21🔗 Adam All right. I'll come up with it as soon as we get to the commercial. We'll be right back.

1:33:26🔗 Drew Bottom line.

1:33:26🔗 Caller Here's the deal.

1:33:28🔗 Caller Sick of wasting time with the wrong person.

1:33:30🔗 Caller One call is all you need to make.

1:33:32🔗 Drew Call the Dateline. 877-889-DATE.

1:33:39🔗 Caller Love Line with Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew.

1:33:41🔗 Caller 1-800-LOVE-191.

1:33:45🔗 Caller You put me right back.

1:34:14🔗 Adam Where do the minutes go, Drew?

1:34:16🔗 Drew What a diverse and exciting evening.

1:34:19🔗 Adam Thank you. Elisha Cuthbert was in here tonight. I want to thank her. Sweet, sweet girl. Everyone go out and see that girl next door. Watch 24. All right. Who do I thank over there?

1:34:30🔗 Drew Everybody.

1:34:30🔗 Adam I want to thank everybody.

1:34:31🔗 Drew Our new screeners.

1:34:32🔗 Adam Phone screeners doing a wonderful job. Wish I could take the time to get to know their name, but that's not going to happen.

1:34:37🔗 Drew Or even see them.

1:34:37🔗 Adam Or even see them.

1:34:38🔗 Drew Ken.

1:34:39🔗 Adam Ken doing a wonderful job engineering.

1:34:41🔗 Drew Chris.

1:34:41🔗 Adam With his very enthusiastic. Very enthusiastic. One, two, three, go.

1:34:47🔗 Drew And Chris. Chris.

1:34:48🔗 Adam Oh, and Chris. Engineer Chris doing a wonderful job. Genius producer, producer Anne. And then junior, junior producer Lauren and Adam and Kerry or?

1:34:59🔗 Drew Corey.

1:34:59🔗 Adam Corey. Or our phone screeners. So I want to thank those two possible dudes.

1:35:04🔗 Drew A girl and a boy? Two boys.

1:35:06🔗 Adam Two boys. Sometimes you get a Corey check.

1:35:08🔗 Drew Yeah, Corey, that's what I'm saying.

1:35:10🔗 Adam So we got a straight guy and a gay guy.

1:35:11🔗 Drew Good work. Usually guys can't produce like that.

1:35:14🔗 Adam That's enough. Let's go home.

1:35:15🔗 Drew All right.

1:35:16🔗 Adam So until next time, I'm Adam Carolla for Dr. Drew Sand. Mahala.

1:35:22🔗 Caller This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors or this station. The producer for Loveline is Annie Gold. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

1:36:16🔗 Caller Yeah.

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