Sunday, February 22, 2004

0:54🔗 Voiceover Loveline may contain sexually oriented content.

1:01🔗 Hey everybody, it's Loveline.

1:04🔗 Voiceover I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew in New York. Surprise, surprise. Phone number, 1-800-LOVE-191. Dr. Drew, board certified physician, addiction medicine specialist. Drew, are you taking control of the board tonight?

1:18🔗 Drew If you let me.

1:20🔗 Adam No, that's a disaster. You give it to me because you can't put people on hold from where you are.

1:24🔗 Drew No, I can't. I can't. Anderson and I figured out how to do it. We can do it.

1:28🔗 Adam And do what you want.

1:28🔗 Drew It's a good time.

1:29🔗 Adam All right, so I don't see anything on my board?

1:32🔗 Drew Nothing. I'll take care of everything.

1:34🔗 Adam You've been sick.

1:35🔗 Drew You've been sick. It's time for you to take care of yourself.

1:37🔗 Adam All right, we're gonna get into that. Write down the names of whoever calls so I know their names?

1:41🔗 Drew Yes, and they'll say their age. I'm gonna get rid of this screen. So I get a desperate call from your wife. I think it was Friday morning. Early, like seven o'clock. Adam's dying, Adam's dying.

1:54🔗 Adam All right. Oh my God. I woke up at five a.m. yakking big time. And I mean like, you know, you're a passionate man, Drew. I'm a passionate yakker. Yeah. Like I throw up, I throw up. I throw up like I'm yelling at somebody in traffic. You know, you know, you know, remind me, remind me of my poor wife looking at me like once while my cat would bring up a fur ball as a kid, like that weird fur ball thing, a cat does. And you're like, don't bring it up here. I'm going to carry outside. But is there anything I can do? Like you want to just you want to shoot them really just like take them down. Like, I'm sure if she had a pistol, she was sort of put a bullet in me. I was I was like convulsing into the sink and she was crying.

2:49🔗 Drew She was scared.

2:50🔗 Adam Oh, was she? Yeah, I was I was I was I was like I was violently vomiting about five a.m. And then whatever. And I just started to, you know, chills and sweats. And and I just kept thinking about me. All that was going on in my mind was me laughing when you're telling me to take the flu shot. And I was going, I don't need a flu shot. I never get sick.

3:14🔗 Drew I never get ever, never.

3:16🔗 Adam Yeah. Now, what now? Would that flu shot have stopped this?

3:20🔗 Drew It might have. It might have helped anyway.

3:22🔗 Adam It might have made that violent. Yeah.

3:25🔗 Drew Next year.

3:26🔗 Adam And then. And let me tell you, let me tell you what I what I tell about my wife. She, you know, so now I'm in bed. She gets up. She's on the phone with Drew. God bless her. Drew says, now let's talk about what to do with the flu, Drew.

3:42🔗 Drew Yeah.

3:43🔗 Adam A, you want to you want to drink some Gatorade, right?

3:46🔗 Drew Yeah. It wasn't really a flu.

3:47🔗 Adam Why Gatorade? Well, you had to replace.

3:50🔗 Drew What did I have? You had some sort of viral illness, but it probably a gastrointestinal, you know, it's all the viral gastrointestinal arthritis. You want to replace fluids. When your fever goes up, you lose fluids rapidly. When you have diarrhea, you lose fluids. When you vomit, obviously you're losing fluids. So you want to make sure you replace that. Right. When you have your volume up, you feel better.

4:10🔗 Adam You know, it was funny. It was funny about fluids was, so my wife spoke to Drew and she said, I got this hernia thing going on too. And she said, could this be the hernia? Drew wants to know if it's the hernia thing. And my hernia was like feeling weird the night before. I didn't say anything. And I thought, oh Christ, maybe this is what's going on. Maybe my hernia is pushing through my gut and this is why I'm vomiting all over the place.

4:38🔗 Drew It twists off. It twists off and then the bowel dies.

4:42🔗 Adam Right.

4:43🔗 Drew And you vomit and get abdominal pain.

4:45🔗 Adam So do I have the flu or is my hernia gonna explode?

4:48🔗 Drew Well, that's what I was asking her. And apparently you had no abdominal pain other than the retching.

4:53🔗 Adam And it didn't have anything. And then an hour later I let a nice loaded diarrhea go and I thought, oh, thank Christ. I've never been happier for some diarrhea. I was like, oh, praise the Lord. Look at that, it's a mess. It's not the hernia. So anyway, I had something going at about, and by the way, why this stuff needs to hit at 5 a.m. for Christ's sake, you know what I mean? There has to be the whole, it just wouldn't be a horrible, it's like the earthquake. The earthquake hit at 5 a.m. you know, it's so, not only, first off, you have this sort of the terror of the situation, and then you have the whole disorientation part, like what's going on, turn on the light, oh my God, what's happening? You know, I mean, whoever needs to take care of you is fast asleep, you know? They don't know what's going on. Why 5 a.m.? Why not 5 p.m.? You know where I could go like, listen, I'm not feeling so good, and I could head up, and people would be dressed in normal, you know what I mean? Yeah, you don't have to pair for it. The boner and the sweatpants and stumbling around through the dark and trying to find the bathroom.

6:04🔗 Drew Yeah, it's so miserable.

6:06🔗 Adam So then it was like, and this is by the way, the bad sign is when you get the trash can and put it by the bed. That was the next move, gonna need the trash can. And just yacking into that pottery barn bathroom trash can for the next few hours. Drew called, Drew took very good care of me, kept calling. So now what do you do, Drew? You should drink Gatorade, why Gatorade?

6:35🔗 Drew It's not just water then, you see, we're replacing fluid, water plus electrolytes.

6:40🔗 Adam All right, so and what about that?

6:41🔗 Drew If you end up just replacing water, you can actually alter the sodium balance in your system and have too much free water circulating around.

6:49🔗 Adam So you're crapping out, you're sweating out, you're yacking out too many fluids and you need to put fluid back and that fluid needs to not just be H2O.

6:59🔗 Drew Right, H2O is that.

7:01🔗 Adam And then what kind of juice? What about like orange juice? Too acidic for the stomach?

7:07🔗 Drew Yeah, if you're vomiting, that's not the good thing. You just, even water can be a little tough sometimes, but you wanna get water with something in it and then slowly add the juice and things like that, and then get cranberry juice, easy juices, and then take the Tylenol when your fever's going up. When you're chilling, when you're chilling, that's how your body drives the temperature up. It's not that you're actually cold, it's your body is generating heat through the chills, and that's what's driving the temperature up. When you sweat, your body's trying to cool itself down, and that's when the temperature's on its way back down.

7:37🔗 Adam Now what about eating?

7:39🔗 Drew Well, if you're vomiting, you gotta stop vomiting. Yeah, you oughta stop vomiting for a couple of hours.

7:44🔗 Adam Now, but here's the whole thing. If you're vomiting, and if you're vomiting, are you gonna wanna vomit, even if there's nothing in your stomach?

7:55🔗 Drew Possibly.

7:56🔗 Adam But if you put something in your stomach, you're really gonna wanna vomit, right?

7:59🔗 Drew That's right, that's right.

8:00🔗 Adam I mean, you're essentially giving yourself ammunition.

8:03🔗 Drew Well, you have an inflamed system going there, right? And it's gonna get worse when you load something on it.

8:09🔗 Adam Right, so you should not try to eat a saltine or anything like that.

8:13🔗 Drew No, I mean, eventually, within a couple of hours. If you have no volume for a couple of hours, then you're in this game on.

8:18🔗 Adam All right.

8:18🔗 Drew And then there's another crazy idea people have is that everything I put in my stomach comes out my rear end is diarrhea. No, it takes hours and hours for things to get out of your stomach.

8:30🔗 Adam Really?

8:30🔗 Drew But when you put, oh yes, but when you put something-

8:32🔗 Adam I would spit stuff out back out of my mouth though in record time.

8:35🔗 Drew Well, that's different. But when you put something in your stomach, it generates something called the gastro-colic reflex. So it stimulates your rectum to release things. Whatever was down there gets pushed through. Not what goes in your stomach is going through. You'll see that in about 12 to 24 hours.

8:50🔗 Adam Right. You knock over a domino, but the last one that falls out of your ass is not the one you first knocked over.

8:57🔗 Drew Thank you. Thank you.

8:58🔗 Adam Sam, we should go on tour together.

9:00🔗 Drew It's good times.

9:01🔗 Adam So, all right. So you want to, and then what do you want to eat when you finally start eating?

9:07🔗 Drew Starchy foods. Like you said, saltine.

9:11🔗 Adam But no, you don't want like protein. Too tough to digest.

9:14🔗 Drew You want well-cooked, well-cooked things like soup or starch, okay? I know you're obsessed about you recovering from viral illness right now, but let's get to the call, shall we?

9:25🔗 Adam No, you know what?

9:26🔗 Drew You haven't been sick forever.

9:27🔗 Adam I don't care about me. I don't care about me. But you know what? I just realized that, you know, it just happened to me that, you know, people get sick and they're not sure what to do. And it's like the whole Tylenol thing. It's like, oh, is that gonna be hard on my stomach? Should I be taking the Tylenol and my stomach's upset? You should be taking it. I wouldn't know.

9:48🔗 Drew You should be taking Tylenol, not Advil or aspirin, because that is hard on your stomach.

9:52🔗 Adam Let's see there. There you go. I'm just saying, a lot of people listening, why not? So I mean, the beats are the Gatorade and the Tylenol, really, when you got that crazy fever, right?

10:00🔗 Drew That's what it boils down to. And you know, there was some data every four hours. You know, there was some data that came out recently about antibiotics and breast cancer, that the more antibiotics you use, the higher your risk of breast cancer in women. So there's even now, beyond the fact that you're also polluting the environment now with resistant organisms, if you use a lot of antibiotic, there is now personal and good reason not to take a lot of antibiotics, perhaps.

10:23🔗 Adam All right, well anyway, just to, quiet down, finish up my story. I felt a little better, thanks to Dr. Drew, and then I started yacking again into the afternoon and evening. And then sweat it all out, felt great next night.

10:37🔗 Drew You didn't sweat out anything.

10:38🔗 Adam I sweated it all out.

10:39🔗 Drew You broke a sweat.

10:40🔗 Adam And I went out, you know what, I went out, went out and ate Mexican last night. Hell yeah. Let me tell you something. Let me tell you something. When you haven't eaten in a day and a half and you've been eating nothing but a, you know, can of progressive vegetable soup and six quarts of Gatorade, you want Mexican. You don't want sushi. You might want barbecue too, right? You might want, I got a barbecue taco. I swear to Christ, you want grease. You know what I'm saying? And maybe that's how Mexican food got started in Mexico, which is everyone was just hung over and wanted Mexican.

11:20🔗 Drew Maybe it's all those gastroenterologic pathogens, all that diarrhea and vomiting they get. They kept wanting something to look-

11:27🔗 Adam No, but Drew, explain, I don't know, real quick, how does that work where you just-

11:31🔗 Drew You just want calories. Your body wants to restore itself.

11:33🔗 Adam I hadn't eaten in a day and a half. I wanted grease, I wanted meat, I wanted cheese. I wanted a mess. I don't want anything good.

11:41🔗 Drew You want calories. And then they taste good. It's also satisfying then too, right?

11:47🔗 Adam No, yeah.

11:48🔗 Drew Yes.

11:49🔗 Adam All right, where are we going?

11:50🔗 Drew Here we go. We are gonna go to Irene, who is 16. Irene?

11:54🔗 Oh, hi.

11:55🔗 Adam What's happening, Irene?

11:57🔗 Oh, by the way, I heard you guys, when you're talking, Drew curses a lot. It was really weird to hear that. Sorry, I had to tell you that, but...

12:05🔗 Adam Oh, you were on hold? Drew, he used the S word, didn't he?

12:12🔗 He used the F word.

12:15🔗 Adam S, right?

12:15🔗 No, no, he used both of them.

12:17🔗 Adam Who used the F word, too?

12:18🔗 Yeah, he said that people...

12:20🔗 Adam Ba-ba-ba-ba. Drew's a man of extreme passion.

12:25🔗 Uh-huh.

12:26🔗 Adam And Irene was on hold, and Drew and I were talking to each other before the show during the break.

12:32🔗 Drew I was yelling about how people claim to know their bodies. And I was saying, they don't. They don't.

12:38🔗 Adam Don't use the F word again, Drew.

12:40🔗 Drew I won't. I'll use it.

12:41🔗 Adam Surreal, right?

12:43🔗 Caller I get really freaked out when people curse, so...

12:45🔗 Adam Yeah, sorry. I'm sorry for my partner. Now, I didn't curse. I didn't curse, right?

12:50🔗 Drew Yeah, you did.

12:50🔗 Caller No, you didn't.

12:52🔗 Drew This is a weird animal's problem.

12:54🔗 Adam Go ahead.

12:54🔗 Caller Okay, so they keep on having these commercials. They've been going on for a few months now on, like, the main station here for this thing called Level RB. And it sounds pretty much like a drug. And it's just saying it'll relax you, it'll put you in a euphoria, it'll make all your troubles go away. But it's not addictive like a drug, and it's not illegal. So call this number and get it. And I don't understand what in the world it is, because it sounds just like a, like, I mean, I don't know much about drugs, but it sounds like one of them.

13:21🔗 Adam And well, what do you care? You want to take it? Oh, really? You don't like swearing, but you like taking drugs?

13:31🔗 Caller I've never taken drugs.

13:35🔗 Drew Well, look. It is a kind of drug.

13:37🔗 Adam Start cussing again.

13:40🔗 Drew I would yell up if I could that in the same way I did about people knowing their bodies, which is if the drug, if a chemical causes euphoria, it's a drug. I don't care if you're from chewing on a leaf. That's where our coca leaf got discovered. People would chew on the coca leaf.

13:57🔗 I know.

13:59🔗 Drew Right. And so if it affects your brain, it's a chemical.

14:04🔗 And it's a drug.

14:04🔗 Drew And what is this drug you know? It sounds like some sort of herbal, if it's over the counter, it must be under the sort of category of food supplements, and it's got to be some sort of a...

14:14🔗 Adam But Drew, basically none of the supplements you hear on the radio are for anything.

14:18🔗 Drew Well, some of these things do, but again, if they do have a subtle effect, they have a pharmacological effect. Well, like ephedra had an effect, but it was harming people, so it needed to be taken off the market, and ephedra is converted into amphetamine by your system, and so really you were taking amphetamine when you took ephedra. Hold on, hold on.

14:38🔗 Adam Would you put her on hold, Drew? For Christ's sake, get rid of her.

14:41🔗 Drew And when you...

14:42🔗 Adam I'm a sick man.

14:43🔗 Drew I know. And when you... if you're taking any chemical that has mind-altering effects, and you need that, you should have that assessed properly, diagnosed, and properly treated. Even people that know infinitely more than you about depression and anxiety and these things, would never dream of administering medicines to themselves.

15:04🔗 Adam So here's what Drew's saying in a nutshell. First off, every drug, whether legal or illegal, that's out there, is all some plant-based thing that ends up being synthesized at some point, but it's all just made from poppies or cocoa leaves or whatever, whatever we go and find. It's all the heroin and the coke and all that stuff.

15:24🔗 Drew That's right. That's right.

15:25🔗 Adam It's all just out there. So who cares what you're calling it if it's, if it's mussing with your mind and then it's mussing with your mind.

15:31🔗 Drew That's right. This is Molly, who's 18. Molly?

15:34🔗 Yeah.

15:35🔗 Adam What's happening, Molly?

15:36🔗 Hey, I wanted to know what could cause someone to enjoy biting people and liking to be bit?

15:44🔗 Adam In liking to be bit?

15:45🔗 Drew Yeah. I don't know that we can say that there's a specific event that causes something like that, but it obviously it's a kind of an aggression, right? Yeah, it's an aggressive, it's an aggressive outlet of some type that you can't seem to express through more sort of direct means. So you do this very primitive thing of biting.

16:05🔗 Adam Yeah, but you know, there is something sexual about it. Oh, yeah. That, that digs a little deeper. And, you know, you know what, Drew, women like it a little more than guys in their own weird way. I'll tell you, you know, let me, let me, here's an interesting thing, Drew, women, most women and listen up, young engineer Chris, because the chicks dig this. And I know you're sort of, you know, new in your career.

16:34🔗 Drew We're going to get into the rough trade discussion again.

16:36🔗 Adam Well, OK, that too. The point is, is most women like a little nibbling on the neck. If you think about it, and Drew, sometimes, yeah, as a man of great passion, who's down many a candy striper in his day. You know what I'm talking about. Now I'm not talking about drawn blood. I'm just talking about that, that sort of jaw on the jugular kind of thing. And not talking about exacting any pressure. I'm just talking about having it there, and if you sort of go back and you think about animals and stuff, that's where they go. You know what I mean? I mean, there's got to be some sort of old, old instinct kind of ancestral thing for that, right?

17:17🔗 Drew Of course, absolutely.

17:19🔗 Adam And women maybe are a little more in touch with that than guys, because I don't know, they would be on the losing end of it more often, or I don't know what that is. Uh-oh. I just hurt myself.

17:31🔗 Drew No, no, we're good.

17:31🔗 Adam All right. Who are you talking to, Drew?

17:34🔗 Drew We're going to talk to John, who's coming from...

17:36🔗 Adam Who are you talking to? Who are you talking to saying you're good?

17:39🔗 Drew You don't have to worry about it. You don't have to worry about the click you heard.

17:43🔗 Adam Oh, okay. So what do you think of that?

17:45🔗 Drew I think that's right. I mean, and again, if you think about sort of how male mammals approach female, oftentimes there's sort of a biting and pulling and that kind of stuff. It's a primitive throwback to our past, I'm sure.

17:56🔗 Adam All right. But if you got to do it all the time, or you're drawing blood, or you're getting obsessed about it, then you're messed up.

18:02🔗 Drew You'd be correct. This is now Vicky, 18.

18:05🔗 Hello.

18:06🔗 Adam What's happening, Vicky?

18:08🔗 Hi, not much. How are you doing?

18:10🔗 Adam Good. Well, I'm better now.

18:13🔗 That's good. Well, I have had this friend since first grade, and she's in my room right now. And we're both 18, and we just go to college now, and we're just taking like general classes, and yeah. And just like about a week ago, I think, I don't know what happened, but for some reason, I think I started to become attracted to her, which is really weird because I don't like girls. And I have a boyfriend and everything too, and I don't know, I mean, I think if I told her, I'd probably like totally freak her out.

18:59🔗 Drew You're feeling like sexually attracted?

19:02🔗 Yeah, kind of like, I walk past her and she was like getting dressed, and like she looked really good.

19:11🔗 Drew Have you had same sex feelings in the past?

19:14🔗 No, it was actually just like the first time I ever felt that way.

19:17🔗 Adam Where was she getting dressed?

19:22🔗 Drew Is there anything else about your past or history that we should know that might make you sort of confused about your sexual orientation?

19:30🔗 Adam I'm telling you, Drew, I'm telling you, heterosexual, quiet down, I don't care about that. I'm talking about heterosexual chicks and gay guys. They got it made in that locker room. The gay guys, they get to go scope out on the guy junk. The heterosexual chicks get to go check out heterosexual chicks who they're sort of attracted to in some way, anyway, or at least appreciate, sort of like you going to the car show and just sort of looking around and appreciating and getting back in your pile of ass and driving home. And then you got the lesbian chicks who get to go, you know what I mean? Everyone gets something in that locker room but us straight guys. The guys who deserve it the most, the guys who work the hardest, we get nothing. We get us big sacks, we get big hairy asses and scrotum sacks and old guys shooting pool in the Y. We get revolted, you know what I mean? Like we got a wretch and everyone else gets something. It's not right. I'm going to change that, Drew.

20:29🔗 Drew All right, what are you going to do?

20:32🔗 Adam Believe me, I'll be doing something. Believe you, me. And when I do, you'll know because I'll be doing it.

20:39🔗 Drew You'll be aware of it, and you'll know and we'll all know. It's just kind of cool out. It's a normal thing. It doesn't necessarily mean anything.

20:47🔗 Adam You don't have to do anything about it, do you?

20:49🔗 Drew You have a boyfriend. We wouldn't tell you to act on those sorts of feelings it was towards another guy either because it's just you have a boyfriend. All right? All right, good times.

21:00🔗 Adam Fantastic. She's back now? Okay, but here's what if you feel like you're ignoring a calling?

21:09🔗 Drew Well, that's not what she said. She goes, it was sort of out of the blue, surprising. I've never had that before.

21:14🔗 Adam Yeah, but then you start thinking maybe this is my proclivity and I'm ignoring it.

21:19🔗 Drew At 15.

21:20🔗 Adam But not at 18?

21:21🔗 Drew At 18, you should kind of have your card sorted out at that point. It's possible, but she'll know it. She'll keep preoccupying about it. That's what I'm saying. Yeah, just cool your jets, see what happens here.

21:32🔗 Adam Why do I do something about this locker room thing, Drew?

21:35🔗 Drew Yeah, I can't wait.

21:36🔗 Adam Man, I'm this close to making a move, too.

21:39🔗 Drew Really?

21:39🔗 Adam Yeah, I've been biding my time for a while getting ready. I didn't want to talk about it because it was going to be a complete surprise, but I'm going to make a move and it's going to be soon. And when it is, you'll know, you know?

21:51🔗 Drew Speaking of making a move, I talked to a guy today who was a, we used to work over at Politically Incorrect, and he was the guy that Natalie from the Dixie Chicks called to get in touch with you to be the date to the Grammys some three or four years ago.

22:07🔗 Adam Really?

22:08🔗 Drew That led to all the craziness with the panties and the flowers and all that.

22:13🔗 Adam Sure, sure.

22:14🔗 Drew Turns out you weren't her first choice.

22:16🔗 Adam Oh.

22:17🔗 Drew Turns out you weren't.

22:19🔗 Adam You're breaking my heart. Who's first? Mark DiCarlo?

22:22🔗 Drew No, no, no. It was actually sort of an A-list to begin with, but she called up and asked for Brad Pitt's phone number.

22:28🔗 Adam All right. Well, she asked for Brad Pitt.

22:30🔗 Drew And then she worked her way down. She finally got to Thomas Calabro, apparently, and then kept going.

22:35🔗 Adam Remember Thomas Calabro? Thomas Calabro, yeah, from Beverly Hills?

22:40🔗 Drew Yeah, one of Melrose, I think it was.

22:41🔗 Adam Yeah, he was the doctor from Melrose Place.

22:45🔗 Drew But she kept going. She kept bugging him. Who else could go out with me? And she got to Adam Carolla.

22:51🔗 Adam Really? Thomas Calabro was in front of me? Well, now look at it. Look at me. It's Sunday night and I'm doing radio. And where's that Brad Pitt? I don't think he's on the radio. No, I don't think he is at all. He's in the Malibu colonies, banging the bejesus out of Jennifer Aniston. That's right. I'm on the radio. I have a plan to correct the nudity locker room situation. Not Brad. He's got no plan. I'm going to tell you.

23:24🔗 Drew I'm going to tell you. I'm going to tell you.

23:29🔗 Adam We'll hear from you, Adam, because we're all going to hear about this locker room plan. When I unleash my plan on the world. Let's take a break here, Drew.

23:37🔗 Drew Yeah, let's unleash.

23:38🔗 Adam That's that's breaking my heart.

23:40🔗 Drew I'm sorry, but I couldn't resist.

23:41🔗 Adam She didn't tell me anything about Thomas Calabra. We'll take a quick break. Drew over there in New York, me here in LA and we'll be right back after this.

23:59🔗 Caller Every hour, two Americans under the age of 25 are infected with HIV. Protect yourself. Call toll free 1-866-344-KNOW.

24:18🔗 Adam Hey everybody, it's Love Line, I'm Adam. Drew's in New York. I'm in LA phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Drew, a mensch, as the Jewish people say, salt of the earth, this man. I was on my deathbed all day on Friday. Drew called, I think, must have been three times to see how I was doing and tell me to take the Tylenol and all that kind of stuff. And Producer Anne, I was too sick and caved in on Friday night, so I didn't see the Kimmel Show, but Producer Anne mentioned to me that a couple of folks that Jimmy had mentioned on the show that much of the staff was sick with the stomach flu, but the only one who didn't show up for work was Corolla.

25:06🔗 Drew Oh, he actually said it on the air.

25:08🔗 Adam Yes, and this brings me to a good point, which is, listen, you wayholes, if you're sick, we don't need any heroes, do not drag your ass to work. It's great for you, it's bad for the one guy who didn't choose to drag his ass to work. And there's no way they could have-

25:26🔗 Drew And you're also passing around too.

25:28🔗 Adam Well, yes, yes, that's what you're doing, Johnny Hero. You're getting everyone at work sick. Now are you happy, Mr. Work Ethic? And by the way, we don't need your kind here. Move to Japan, all right? You go to Japan, you want to bring that kind of work ethic into your environment. We don't need any heroes. You go to Japan and bust your ass and you go to a place where if you get like a B minus, you jump off a building on the bell tower. You know what I'm saying? I don't need that, Drew. So here's the point. I called the Kimmel Show to say, I'm sick, I'm not coming in. The chick who answered the phone was like, yeah, I had the same thing last night. And by the way, it's always subtly degrading when they give you that, yeah, I had the same thing. Yeah, yeah, oh yeah. Nope, vomiting, nope, same thing. I'm just a better person than you. That's why I'm picking up the phone. I'm at work, you understand? You're not coming in. But now I had the exact same thing, maybe worse. Probably worse, but here I am. So the chick who answered the phone had the same thing. She then, I'm hearing an echo, by the way, and it's driving me nuts. She then passed me off to my buddy, Rick, over there, who had the same thing too. And at first I felt like, well, good, see? This is going around. And then my next thought is all these a-holes showed up and it's going to be, well, who's the only one who called in sick? Well, it's Corolla Boy. But Drew, back me up as a doctor. There's no way they could have had what I had.

27:02🔗 Drew No, especially, you tend to not have much reaction to bad viruses. I mean, it's any viruses for that matter, but this one really got you. I'm gonna need a note. And that's what I've always said, is, Adam, you've never really been sick, because when you're sick, you can't get up. You can't go to work. It's just, you can't.

27:18🔗 Adam Well, what is it? I mean, so why am I lying in bed writhing in pain, sweating profusely, and like moaning into space, and yacking into a trash can, and these people yacked the night before, and got up and went to work? What is it?

27:31🔗 Drew Why does that happen to me every time I get a virus, and you've never had that happen before? It's just one of them things.

27:35🔗 Adam All right, so is it that we didn't have the same virus, me and everyone who was at work, or I reacted differently?

27:43🔗 Drew It affected you differently. It affected you differently, yeah.

27:45🔗 Adam Well, good times. That'll be a great sell tomorrow, by the way.

27:49🔗 Drew Oh, they're gonna love you.

27:51🔗 Adam Yeah, the one guy that didn't show up. All right, I'm gonna have to produce bile, actually. I'm gonna have to vomit on the writer's table tomorrow. What's happening?

28:03🔗 Well, I had sex like a month ago for like my first time, and then he broke up with me, and ever since, I just wanna have like random sex. I don't know.

28:13🔗 Drew Because, well, that to me suggests you were sort of traumatized by the sex. Was it kind of a bad experience?

28:20🔗 Caller I don't know, it took him like seven months, and he just pressured me and pressured me and pressured me, and so I finally just gave in.

28:25🔗 Adam How old's Jennifer?

28:26🔗 Caller I'm 17.

28:27🔗 Adam 17. Shout that out, each name, Drew.

28:31🔗 Drew I did, I did.

28:32🔗 Adam I said shout it.

28:33🔗 Drew Okay.

28:33🔗 Adam I didn't hear it. Stop mumbling. And I'll tell you about my plan for the locker room later.

28:38🔗 Drew Okay, then I'll shout it out.

28:40🔗 Adam Okay, so he pressured you for seven months, you gave in, so you sort of feel like he manipulated you. And then he broke up with you. Okay.

28:50🔗 Drew And then he leaves, and all of a sudden she has an urge to do this over and over again. Did you, where's your dad? And has he always been in your life?

29:01🔗 Caller Well, he got custody of me from my mom whenever I was like two.

29:05🔗 Drew Yeah. Mm-mm. From your mom. What happened with your mom?

29:07🔗 Caller She just did a lot of drugs.

29:09🔗 Adam Mm-mm.

29:11🔗 Drew Yeah.

29:12🔗 Adam That's bad times.

29:12🔗 Drew Yeah. This kind of neglect and abandonment, when somebody does that to you after an intimate contact, that can be awfully, awfully painful for you, after having had that horrible trauma when you were a child. And one of the things that the human brain does when it sort of gets into a traumatic, when there's trauma from the past that is resurrected by experiences in your adult life, it makes you repeat those things. It's almost as though you compulsively go and repeat the traumas over and over again. And I think that's what you're trying to do, is though somehow you can master it or get control over it. Even to talk about it rationally almost doesn't make sense. The fact is, this has resurrected some very old feelings, and it must have been very painful when your boyfriend left. Yeah. And you're trying to fix that by doing these random sex acts, which is going to only make you feel worse.

29:57🔗 Adam I used to try to fix it by beating off, first I thought I was going to fix it by sex, and then I had to downgrade that to beating off. I had to simulate it. I had to climb in the simulator. It's like saying, first I thought I would beat it by just climbing up into that F-18 and soaring off into the skies, and then when I realized I couldn't get hold of one I had to sneak into the simulator.

30:20🔗 Drew And then just actually down to the video game.

30:23🔗 Adam And then actually just down to like Top Gun Video Game, yeah. Good times, you know.

30:29🔗 Drew Good times. Jennifer, you basically have two choices. You can find a relationship and try again and be very, very careful with whom you choose because you're likely to choose people that will abandon. Or you can get some therapy. Those are your choices.

30:43🔗 Caller I've already been down that road.

30:44🔗 Adam Wow, so long as you've been down that road. I mean, at the ripe old age of 17.

30:48🔗 Caller It was for other things like me being molested and everything.

30:54🔗 Adam Well, why don't you head down that road again?

30:58🔗 Drew The traumas being that deep and that intense, you're going to have to be with it for a long, long, long time. Okay?

31:06🔗 Caller We'll listen to it again.

31:07🔗 Drew Okay. Yeah.

31:08🔗 Adam Let me tell you something about therapy. It's a very long road and about every quarter mile you got to stop and empty your pockets. And there's an ATM like every, every like six miles.

31:21🔗 Drew Let's take a Florida or Germany. This is Dallas. Sixteen.

31:25🔗 Hey, how's it going?

31:27🔗 Adam What the hell was that?

31:29🔗 Drew You told me to yell out the name, the eight.

31:30🔗 Adam Oh, yeah. Start yelling that name out, Drew.

31:33🔗 Drew Oh, the eight, the name too?

31:35🔗 Adam No, no, that's fine. Just Dallas 16. It was like, it was like you're saying 16 when somebody stepped on your foot.

31:42🔗 Drew Well, you said yell it.

31:44🔗 Adam No, I liked it. I liked it. All right. Go ahead, Dallas.

31:48🔗 A man was arrested for stalking several women. One woman claimed that he had literally snuck into her bed while she was sleeping and snuggled up with her. While another later claimed that he was holding her laundry in her sleep. That's very much it.

32:15🔗 Drew Germany.

32:16🔗 Adam I'm going Germany, too.

32:18🔗 Yep. You're both right.

32:22🔗 Adam Dallas. Dallas.

32:24🔗 Yes.

32:25🔗 Adam Sixteen. Yes.

32:26🔗 Yes.

32:27🔗 Adam Virgin. Yes.

32:28🔗 God. Yes.

32:29🔗 Adam Yes. All right, buddy. Keep up the bad work. He means, God, no, but I can I can hear I can hear it in his voice.

32:37🔗 Drew It's supposed to be at 16.

32:41🔗 Adam You call this show 16 year old guys. What percentage of 16 year olds who call this show are virgins?

32:48🔗 Drew They call this show 20 percent virgins.

32:52🔗 Adam Yeah, maybe 25. Maybe 25. Maybe 15. And what percentage? What percentage of the populace? 16.

33:01🔗 Drew 60 percent.

33:03🔗 Adam Virgins?

33:03🔗 Drew I'm going to guess. That data is all over the map, but I'm going to say that 60 percent.

33:10🔗 Adam 60 percent of the guys, but less of the women or you think it's the other way around?

33:13🔗 Drew It's amazingly pretty similar.

33:17🔗 Adam Really? And yeah, doesn't it seem like you just sort of spin that any direction you want to spin it if you're trying to make a point?

33:26🔗 Drew The populations around this country in different areas and regions and urban versus suburban is so different. It's really hard to interpret the data that's out there.

33:34🔗 Adam Yeah, you know, it's an interesting thing. Like, you know, if you're living in Norway in 1950 and you want to go out and take yourself a little census poll, it's not going to take too long, right? I mean, just get a handful of blonde haired people and figure out what's up, right?

33:51🔗 Drew Yeah, that's right.

33:52🔗 Adam I mean, this country is such a collage.

33:55🔗 Drew Yeah, yeah.

33:56🔗 Adam And collage is a euphemism.

33:59🔗 Drew What's the other collage like art that you used to do?

34:03🔗 Adam Oh, decoupage.

34:04🔗 Drew Decoupage. It's a decoupage.

34:06🔗 Adam Look at Drew with his French. Decoupage. Yeah. It's more of a like an s mosaic, this country. But it's hard to figure out what the hell's going on because there's so many different zones and people and regions.

34:23🔗 Drew That's right. It's very hard. Let's take a tough call here. This is Shannon 20. Shannon?

34:29🔗 Yeah.

34:30🔗 Drew Hi there.

34:32🔗 My question is, I just found out on Friday that my dad has cancer. He starts chemo tomorrow and the doctors gave him about six months to live.

34:43🔗 Drew What kind of cancers do you have?

34:46🔗 I'm still kind of confused about it. I think that it started in his esophagus and it spread to his liver.

34:53🔗 Adam Why do they give him chemo if they're only giving him six months?

34:58🔗 Drew It's a try to get a little more time.

35:01🔗 What I'm worried is it's going to make him like sicker.

35:04🔗 Drew It does. It sometimes does and it often doesn't accomplish much with these solid tumors. Are they going to put a line directly into his liver or anything like that?

35:13🔗 Caller I'm really not sure. I don't really know.

35:16🔗 Drew Okay. Are they doing any surgeries?

35:18🔗 Caller No.

35:19🔗 Drew Is he a smoker? A drinker?

35:23🔗 Caller No.

35:25🔗 Drew So, those are the two things that put people at risk for esophageal cancer.

35:29🔗 Adam How old is he?

35:30🔗 Caller He's 59.

35:32🔗 Drew Sorry.

35:34🔗 Adam So, Drew, they'll give you chemo even if they know it's, even if it's inoperable.

35:42🔗 Drew You know, one of the things that drives me insane is that-

35:45🔗 Adam But don't start cussing. Don't start cussing again.

35:48🔗 Drew I won't. I feel like it when things drive me insane. But most solid tumors are inoperable. And so when you go for a cancer surgery, you're just having the tumor sort of brought the side, the amount of it taken down, so you get some extra time. But once you've found a cancer, it has spread all over the place.

36:06🔗 Adam What's the difference between a solid tumor and a non-solid tumor?

36:09🔗 Drew Like a lymphoma or leukemia is not a solid tumor. It's the lung, liver, pancreas.

36:14🔗 Adam Those are solid.

36:15🔗 Drew No, esophagus.

36:19🔗 Adam So, if they say we're not going to operate, this is terminal, I don't know, I mean, I guess there's a big difference between living for three months and living for nine months. But I mean, what if you're getting sick and you're undergoing treatment?

36:35🔗 Drew But I'm sure they've discussed all that with him. And there must be, I don't know the literature on esophageal cancer off the top of my head, that there must be some potential of longer term outcome. And I think there is some new protocols, if I remember right, I'm pretty sure I've read about that have given people one, three and five year survivals here and there. And so there might be a chance of breaking through that six month window. You see that, Shannon? But nonetheless, it's still a shock and it's still, you know, you're going to go through a lot of denial and wanting to sort of forget about it, not think about it, and when he's normal you're just going to let it go. But you've got to begin preparing yourself that although you don't know when, you now know what he's going to die of.

37:16🔗 Caller And I know I'm just like really scared and like confused and...

37:20🔗 Drew Do you have any siblings?

37:21🔗 Caller Yeah.

37:22🔗 Drew How many?

37:23🔗 Caller Two.

37:24🔗 Drew How old are they?

37:25🔗 Caller Twenty-five and twenty-seven.

37:27🔗 Drew Are you talking with them?

37:29🔗 Caller A little bit. I guess like my sister's just like as freaked out as I am and...

37:36🔗 Adam What brought him in to the hospital in the first place?

37:39🔗 Drew Weight loss.

37:40🔗 Caller I guess, yeah, he has lost a lot of weight and I guess he was just like having really bad stomach problems.

37:47🔗 Drew Are you close with your siblings? Yeah. Do you have good friends?

37:52🔗 Caller Yeah. Actually, I have really good friends. They drove two and a half hours to see me when I found out.

37:57🔗 Drew This is the time to rely on your friends. This is when you really lean on them. Don't be afraid to ask for help. This is that time.

38:05🔗 Caller Yeah.

38:06🔗 Drew And there's sort of no one can take this away from you, but having support around will make a big, big difference.

38:12🔗 Caller Are there any like good support groups or anything?

38:14🔗 Drew Most hospitals will have various kinds of cancer support groups. You got to talk to the oncology department there wherever he's being treated, okay?

38:22🔗 All right, Shannon.

38:23🔗 Drew I'm sorry, Shannon. It's going to be all right.

38:25🔗 Adam Call us back. Tell us how it's working out. All right. Take care. Oh, very sad.

38:34🔗 Drew Thanks.

38:35🔗 Adam Yeah, that when they tell you, they give you six months, that's probably not a good sign.

38:42🔗 Drew But occasionally people will sort of go longer than that, but that's all too much of this suck. Well, but good times. We're going to take a ward call next. Oh, wards. Yeah. Yeah. At first, we're going to have a break.

38:53🔗 Adam All right. And we'll be right back after this. I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191-er. All right, Drew's in New York. Drew, when are you coming back?

39:32🔗 Drew Tomorrow.

39:33🔗 Adam Tomorrow?

39:34🔗 Drew Yeah.

39:34🔗 Adam All right. What are you doing, something with a condom?

39:36🔗 Drew It's raining a little bit out there, huh?

39:40🔗 Adam Holy mackerel-y. It is not stopped.

39:45🔗 Drew That's what I heard.

39:45🔗 Adam It is, it has been, it rained for about 14, 15 hours straight yesterday. Let me tell you the thing about when it rains. I like it when it rains and all that kind of stuff. I'm working on a house right now, so it's always a bitch when it rains because everything gets wet and screwed up. But I still, I don't want to be a hypocrite because I remember the summer when I was complaining that it never rains. But I like to drive around like on the freeway and see all the sprinklers going off on the side of the freeway.

40:16🔗 Drew And then hearing about how we have water shortage.

40:19🔗 Adam Yeah, yeah. There's, if you drive in LA and you just drive along, there's something that's, it's like seeing the fire chief's house on fire. You know, it's sort of ironic. It's funny when you're driving along and it's pouring rain and driving through puddles and been raining for two days and just seeing those big sprinklers going off everywhere. And I was thinking, we haven't solved that mystery yet. As a city, like, listen, there are devices and there's actually interesting devices, Drew, that obviously they don't use, but you can get them for your house.

41:01🔗 Drew That'll what assess the water intake and turn the machine off?

41:04🔗 Adam Yeah, anyone know how it works?

41:06🔗 Drew How?

41:07🔗 Adam I'll tell you how, but I'm not going to tell you about my gaze in the bathroom idea just yet, because I haven't really worked that out yet.

41:14🔗 Drew But when you've worked it out, we will know.

41:16🔗 Adam Here's how this thing works. It is like a little, there's a little pan, a little trough thing, and you put it outside and it's got a couple of wires on it, and when the thing gets filled up with enough water, it completes the electrical circuit.

41:30🔗 Drew That makes perfect sense.

41:31🔗 Adam Yeah, you would think it would be a weight or something, or something to do with a magnet or a counterweight or something. No, it's just the electricity will pass through the water, go in and shut the valve off. You can order these things. But yes, all this city talks about is how we live in a desert and how we need to be drought conscious and how this and how that, go drive around. I mean, it's, I'm working on an arc out here, Drew. There's enough room for you, not the wife. You and one of the kids.

42:01🔗 Drew Two, two by two, oh, that means you and I.

42:02🔗 Adam It's go make Sophie's Choice when you get home tonight. But tomorrow, but the point is, is why are we firing these sprinklers off in the middle of these rainstorms and how come we haven't figured this out? And do you think this goes on in Europe?

42:15🔗 Drew Rhetorical question. Here's Francisco, who's 26.

42:21🔗 Caller Yeah, I'm in love with a woman that I met in November and this week she told me that she had genital warts last year. We haven't had sex yet, but we want to. And now she told me this. So I'm thinking how to proceed.

42:42🔗 Drew You're gonna wear a condom is what you're gonna do.

42:44🔗 Caller Okay, what else do you suggest?

42:48🔗 Drew Well, you have two choices. You can wear a condom and reduce your risk as much as possible because she still has the virus, obviously, because that doesn't go away. I mean, it certainly doesn't go away in a year. There's a certain percentage of the word viruses do go away after five to 10 years.

43:02🔗 Adam Yeah, well, they're getting married.

43:04🔗 Drew And the ones that you are getting married?

43:07🔗 Caller No, I'm not getting married.

43:09🔗 Adam Oh, I thought you wanted to get married. Say something about getting married.

43:12🔗 Drew Did you take some cold medicine or something before?

43:15🔗 Adam I said I'd been dating this girl for, what's her name?

43:18🔗 Drew November.

43:18🔗 Adam I don't know why I heard Mary. Is her name Mary or something? I'm going insane.

43:23🔗 Drew Yeah, you are. Where was I? The wort viruses that do remit, that means go away by themselves within a few years, are the ones that are not associated with cervical cancer so much. But you can't know which one she's got, and I guarantee you it's not gone away in a year. So she's got it still, and all you can do is either A, not have sex with her, or B, reduce your risk by wearing a condom.

43:47🔗 Caller So when you are talking about reducing my risk, wearing a condom does not guarantee protection.

43:53🔗 Drew Not with this one, because it's a skin virus, and there's obviously skin exposed elsewhere, you know, down towards the base, the penis and stuff.

44:00🔗 Adam But it's pretty good, right?

44:01🔗 Drew It's pretty good. It's pretty good, though.

44:03🔗 Caller How about oral sex?

44:06🔗 Drew You, you know.

44:08🔗 Adam Come on, give my doctor's note on this one, Drew.

44:10🔗 Drew Yeah, you're probably gonna be okay with that.

44:12🔗 Adam Oh, no.

44:14🔗 Caller Oh, my mouth on her...

44:16🔗 Adam Hold on, it's gotta put the condom on, but it's okay if it goes down on her.

44:20🔗 Drew There is such a thing as that being transmitted, but that's pretty unusual.

44:23🔗 Adam That's a one, two in the gut there, Drew.

44:25🔗 Drew Yeah, yeah, sorry.

44:26🔗 Come on, that's the way it goes, though.

44:27🔗 Adam Hey, listen, Drew, let me tell you this. When I'm in charge, I will, like, whenever these politicians are running for governor or councilman or whatever, mayor, they're always talking about, you know, balancing the budget and everything, I'm gonna focus on things like the sprinklers running while it's raining. You know what I mean, like, stuff, and I'm gonna say stuff like, and you know those signs on the freeway that say 15-foot clearance?

44:57🔗 Drew Yes.

44:58🔗 Adam And then have the big zero for the inches? Uh-uh, no more zeros. It's just gonna say 15-foot when I'm in charge.

45:06🔗 Drew You can do the math.

45:06🔗 Adam You're gonna save. We don't need 15-foot, zero. I don't tell anyone, I am six-foot, zero. Just six-foot, right? You don't ask after that, right? We're gonna save millions on printing, on signs. I'm gonna force the guys who put the manhole covers back with the stripes going the wrong way, with the road stripe, to line them back up. Don't you think I could win? Don't you think I could win based on that stuff?

45:36🔗 Drew It'll be a utopia.

45:37🔗 Adam But just the stuff that you notice, you know what I mean? Like all this other BS no one ever notices. Like we're gonna remove asbestos from schools and we're gonna balance the budget and I got a state transportation act or something. BS, let's do stuff you can look at. You know, stuff you drive past, stuff you see.

45:57🔗 Drew Yeah? And save money on it.

45:59🔗 Adam Yeah, I'm just saying. Wouldn't you like a guy to just talk about the sprinklers being on while it's raining?

46:04🔗 Drew Yes, yes. You get your vote, wouldn't you? Yeah, practical matters.

46:08🔗 Adam Thank you.

46:08🔗 Drew Like why didn't the other guys think of that? That's right. This guy's on the ball, he's thinking of detail.

46:13🔗 Adam That's right, that's right.

46:15🔗 Drew And we're on the ball, too, and we're going to break.

46:17🔗 Adam Oh boy, Drew, that's good radio, are you? We'll be right back after this.

46:23🔗 Caller All right, guys, here's the deal.

46:24🔗 Look in the hookup, call the Dateline.

46:26🔗 Caller Stick a waste in time with the wrong person.

46:28🔗 Call the Dateline.

46:29🔗 Caller One call is all you need to make.

46:30🔗 Call the Dateline.

46:31🔗 Caller One, eight, seven, seven, eight, eight, nine. Date. Adam and Dr. Drew will be right back on Loveline.

47:06🔗 Adam I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew over there in New York. Phone number, 1-800-LOVE-191. You know, Drew?

47:15🔗 Drew Yeah.

47:15🔗 Adam When I was on my deathbed over the weekend, just writhing in pain.

47:21🔗 Drew And I was at home wringing my hands with concern.

47:24🔗 Adam Yes, Drew called, I think, three times to us.

47:29🔗 Drew Those are the ones you know of.

47:31🔗 Adam Those are the ones I know of. Well, I did, my wife did tell me that, I think you called another time. And God bless Drew. We both agreed. It's salt of the earth, this Drew. But as I was thinking, I had to laugh. I was really, I was in more pain than I've been in in years. Just, you know, the thing about this flu, it's like every joint hurt. My head was strobing. I wanted to, I just wanted to die, you know? And I was just lying there. But I had a little diarrhea, too. And thanks for asking. And I was blasting some pretty good farts, although cautionary farts, you know? Like a sort of a, be careful. Don't just cock the arm and hike the leg and start blasting away like I normally do because this is a hair trigger. There's a fine line here. You know what I'm saying? Yes. I did destroy Paralong John to a certain point.

48:29🔗 Drew With this illness or one time in your life?

48:31🔗 Adam No, this time around.

48:33🔗 Drew That's nice, that's good times.

48:35🔗 Adam Uh. I'll tell you the comedy. Okay, what the comedy was, even still lying on my deathbed and barely able to move a joint, I was still able to do a little bit of the comforter flap, you know, after a good fart. No, to myself.

48:57🔗 Drew Just for yourself, you're unappreciation.

49:00🔗 Adam Yeah.

49:00🔗 Drew No one else to appreciate it but you.

49:02🔗 Adam Yeah, let me tell you a comedy routine here, Drew. And folks, if you're squeamish, you may want to shut the radio off now. But did Dawn the Long Johns, did slide into those, making those in the ivory color, probably not the greatest plan. You know what I mean? Just in general, old miners wearing them and whatnot, people camping. You wear long Johns. When you put on those long Johns, you may put them on for a few days, maybe a week sometimes before they come off again.

49:33🔗 Drew That's a commitment.

49:34🔗 Adam Pick another color. That's all I'm saying. But that's confidence is what it is. But put them Johns on. I had the stomach upset and a little, you know, had the flu and messed myself a little bit down there, just a little bit, just enough, just enough to know, you know?

49:51🔗 Drew How do you clean that up with your Sherwood Forest? You've got-

49:54🔗 Adam Well, here's the interesting, I got myself cleaned up okay, but then noticed the long Johns weren't in great shape. And then decided that I would clean the long Johns without taking them off. I was so like weak and ill and stuff.

50:11🔗 Drew You really, you're like a cowboy. You just get in the lake with your clothes on.

50:16🔗 Adam I thought, how am I gonna clean the back of these long Johns without actually removing them?

50:21🔗 Drew Did you actually soap everything down with the long Johns on?

50:25🔗 Adam I'm not a big soap guy, Drew. You know, it's like reading. I don't believe in it. But I knew they needed a rinsing and they needed them now. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. So here's how I did it. I pulled the long John, I got him down to about knee level, about mid thigh level, and then pulled the back part around to the front. Then got on my tiptoes and saw, seeing if I could pull that front long enough to get it under the sink, get it, get under the water there. I was about an inch short. So I started mashing myself against the thing. At a certain point, I realized, what are you retarded? Just take the goddamn long John's off like a human being. I had to prove something to myself, Drew.

51:11🔗 Drew I guess so.

51:11🔗 Adam I ended up taking them off and and they're back on now.

51:16🔗 Drew Right now?

51:18🔗 Adam Actually, no, wait a minute. Yeah, they were on later on that day after they dried out. Okay, thank you.

51:23🔗 Drew All right. There we go. Let's take some calls, shall we?

51:26🔗 Adam Didn't need any soap, not that I know of. Who are we talking to, Drew?

51:29🔗 Drew We are talking to, wait a second here. We're talking to Tina, 25.

51:35🔗 Caller Hi, how are you?

51:37🔗 Adam What's happening, Tina?

51:40🔗 I'm having an affair with my boss.

51:42🔗 Drew Fabulous, fabulous.

51:43🔗 Adam Tina, by the way, like the number one transvestite, he, she name. You know what I'm saying, Drew? Yeah, I don't know why. Tina, yeah. You gotta watch out. Watch out for the tall chicks named Tina with the Adam's apple. All right. So you're having an affair with your boss? And it's an affair cause he's married.

52:07🔗 Caller He's married with two children.

52:09🔗 Adam And what about you?

52:11🔗 Caller I'm single.

52:13🔗 Adam How old is he?

52:15🔗 Caller He's 33.

52:17🔗 Drew She's 25. And how long has this been going on for?

52:19🔗 Caller About a year.

52:22🔗 Drew And what's he been telling you? My wife's horrible to me, she doesn't treat me right, that kind of stuff?

52:27🔗 Caller No, he's been pretty honest about that.

52:30🔗 Drew That he's not leaving his wife?

52:31🔗 Caller No, he's not leaving his wife.

52:35🔗 Drew All right, good.

52:37🔗 Caller Because I think I can do better than this.

52:39🔗 Drew Yeah, how about an actual relationship would be better?

52:43🔗 Adam He'd do better with a hobo who was wearing my long johns from yesterday. Yeah. Imagine what hobo long johns would smell like, Drew.

52:54🔗 Drew Not a lot different than yours, evidently.

52:57🔗 Adam Yeah, at least that was just sick, you know what I mean? Yeah.

53:01🔗 Caller I'm glad you're feeling better, Adam.

53:03🔗 Adam Thanks, baby doll. Yeah, so you wanna end it and?

53:07🔗 Caller I don't know what to do.

53:09🔗 Adam What, what, you think she's gonna be mad?

53:11🔗 Drew Yeah. I think you need, you gotta change your job. What kind of work do you do? What kind of job do you do?

53:16🔗 Adam I'm a waitress.

53:18🔗 Drew You just change jobs.

53:19🔗 Adam You guys the manager at the restaurant? Yeah. Of course. Oh, Drew, hold on.

53:24🔗 Drew Shocking.

53:24🔗 Adam I scraped myself up off the board.

53:27🔗 Drew I've never heard of such a thing.

53:29🔗 Adam Listen, let me tell all you chicks that are married to the restaurant manager.

53:33🔗 Drew He needs a new job.

53:34🔗 Adam He's banging somebody.

53:36🔗 Drew Yeah, your husband needs a new job.

53:38🔗 Adam All these restaurant managers, all they do, it's all they do, these sons of bitches. It's like they're like quiet celebrities. You know what I mean? They don't have all the trappings. It's even better because a celebrity wants to screw around, he ends up in the tabloids. And it's just a fresh, fresh batch of a hot new Puntang that rolls into town like every six months, trying to apply to be hostesses and cocktail waitresses.

54:07🔗 Drew That must be why those guys take that job. They need, you need to, anybody who's married to a restaurant manager needs to test their marriage by asking him to find a new job, different kind of work. Different kind of work.

54:18🔗 Adam Yeah, listen, so you're a waitress, so you quit, you go get a new job.

54:21🔗 Drew Yeah, go somewhere else, yeah. Maybe don't even quit, I mean, plan your escape. Find the next job, then you quit, then you move.

54:31🔗 Adam Is he gonna try to talk you out of it?

54:34🔗 Caller Probably.

54:35🔗 Drew Of course, of course.

54:36🔗 Adam Why does he expect you to go along with this with no promises?

54:43🔗 Caller Why not, he's got it made.

54:46🔗 Adam No, I know why.

54:47🔗 Drew We didn't say why he wants to, but why would he make?

54:50🔗 Adam Yeah, you didn't answer my question, you just restated it. Why would he expect you to go along with it?

54:56🔗 Drew I don't know. What is it about you?

54:59🔗 Adam That's much more satisfying.

55:01🔗 Drew What is it about you, Tina, that would lead him to believe that you would put up with an abusive situation like this? How about that?

55:08🔗 Caller I've had a lot of, I was sexually assaulted when I was a child.

55:12🔗 Drew Yeah, that's what we're talking about.

55:14🔗 Adam All right, I can hear in your voice, you sound like you've been through the wringer. All right, hey, Tina.

55:21🔗 Drew Come to your own defense.

55:22🔗 Adam First day of the rest of your life, baby doll. Yeah. Let's go now. It's a Sunday. Tomorrow's Monday. All right? Let's get going now. Let's break it down now. Hey, let's break it down. Let's get a hand in now, all right? Don't sit on your helmets. Grab a knee. Helmets not a chair. Tina, I want you to get a hand in. I want you to break it down now. Now you find a new gig. And here's the thing too. Don't announce to this guy, I agree with Drew. And when I agree with Drew, you know I must be telling the truth. Do not go in and announce to this guy that you want to break up. And when you do that, like, I'm gonna break up with you thing, you're not saying I want to break up. You're saying talk me out of it. Or a way to break up with someone is to break up with them.

56:04🔗 Drew Yeah, or stop doing the things that makes me want to break up with you, which he's never gonna do.

56:08🔗 Adam Right, find your new gig. Get a hand in. Break it down.

56:16🔗 Drew Get out of there.

56:17🔗 Adam That's right. Grab a knee. Don't sit on your helmet, though. Grab a knee.

56:20🔗 Drew You need to think of something more inspiring than that.

56:23🔗 Adam You need to, that's all they used to say to us. Don't sit on your helmet. Just listen. Find a new job. Quietly find a new job over the next couple of weeks. Get that gig. Secure your schedule. It's your new job. Quit and walk away. You owe this man nothing. He's lucky you're not blowing the whistle on him. Thank you. All right.

56:46🔗 Drew This now is Mike, who's 21.

56:48🔗 Hey, I'm here in Salt Lake City. What's up?

56:51🔗 Adam Yeah, Mormons. Get a hand in, Mormons.

56:56🔗 I'm not Mormon.

56:56🔗 Drew You're Mormon?

56:57🔗 Adam Yeah, polygamy. Get a hand in.

57:00🔗 Drew What's up?

57:00🔗 Adam I'm Armenian.

57:02🔗 Drew You're Mormon?

57:02🔗 Adam Yeah, the only Armenian in Salt Lake. Get a hand in. Get a kebab in. I just have a problem with lower tabs.

57:12🔗 Drew You're addicted to lower tab. Yeah. That's pretty common.

57:15🔗 Not just lower tabs, but like Vicodin and-

57:18🔗 Drew It's all opiates.

57:18🔗 Adam It's the same thing, right?

57:21🔗 Drew Lower tab and Vicodin are precisely the same thing, just little different doses.

57:24🔗 Adam Oh, Drew, let me ask you about that for a second. Myself.

57:29🔗 Drew I was thinking to myself as I was during the break at the top of the hour, I was taking a pee and thinking, geez, suddenly, when it's important to Adam, it's important to all of us. Suddenly you're interested in medical problems.

57:38🔗 Adam No, how dare you? No, it's not important to me because I get the flu every six years and I just got it.

57:46🔗 Drew And tonight it's important to you and so we're talking about it.

57:48🔗 Adam No, it's not going to be important to me for another six years is what I'm saying, Jackoff.

57:52🔗 Drew Because you're making my point for me. Other people may think it's important a lot of the year because they get sick regularly.

57:59🔗 Adam All right, I thought you're saying because it's important to me, I want to talk about it.

58:04🔗 Drew That's what I'm saying.

58:04🔗 Adam Which is what you are saying.

58:06🔗 Drew That's what I'm saying. And I'm saying that it's kind of funny. Because other people get what you had this once in six years, they may get it twice, three times a year. So they might be thinking about it more frequently.

58:17🔗 Adam All right, well, you can bring it up by the way.

58:19🔗 Drew Yeah, but you don't want me to talk about it.

58:21🔗 Adam No, I like talking about medical stuff, but I don't like talking about the real specific stuff, but something like the flu that everybody gets, I want to talk about. All right, here's the deal. What about taking a Vicodin when your body's aching and your joints are hurting and your head is throbbing? That helps.

58:40🔗 Drew No, I understand for you, you're addicted.

58:42🔗 Adam Dr. Mike, the Armenian junkie from Salt Lake's gonna weigh in on this one.

58:47🔗 Drew If you do not have a family history of alcoholism and you are not vomiting, because the Vicodin will make the vomiting worst, possibly.

58:54🔗 Adam Oh, so that was my thing. I think I was vomiting.

58:58🔗 Drew I know, so you wouldn't want to take it. You wouldn't want to do it, yeah.

59:00🔗 Adam All right, but okay, go ahead, Mike.

59:03🔗 I just, you know, I have a hard time trying to quit. I've been trying to do it. I enjoy it, so it's really hard, but you know, I know it's bad, so I want to quit. The only problem is I can't really go into rehab because my dad's a cop and you know, it just, if he finds out, it will be the end of my life basically. And I just, I don't know if there's any ways if I could do it without, you know, going through rehab or.

59:22🔗 Drew No, unfortunately.

59:24🔗 Adam Well, how much, how much are you taking? How much?

59:26🔗 Well, it depends on the day, but you know, on an average day I'll do about nine or 10 pills of Loratab or, you know, whatever I can get my hands on. I just go from hospital to hospital and have doctors write prescriptions or you know, fake pain.

59:38🔗 Drew I'm sure there are days when you're doing, I'm sure there are days when you're doing 20. And those days will become basically the routine soon enough and there will be more consequences and there will be legal problems. And I suggest you take care.

59:50🔗 What kind of legal problems?

59:52🔗 Drew Somebody's gonna see what you're gonna do. You're gonna get arrested. Yeah, one of the pharmacies is gonna report you or something. But the point is, this is not a, this is a very, it's the most serious form of addiction and it doesn't get better without treatment. And that's just the way it is. It's unfortunate. It's unfortunate, just like if you had cancer and you were denying that you had it and didn't wanna have it, I couldn't blame you. But you got it and you gotta do something about it.

1:00:13🔗 What type of long-term effects will I have? Like, what, you know, what should I be looking out for?

1:00:18🔗 Drew Severe addiction. That's it. Severe, severe addiction. And that's-

1:00:22🔗 Caller I'm not gonna ruin my liver or anything like that?

1:00:24🔗 Drew Well, interestingly, no, you're not. Because whatever it is, I've dealt with lower tab and Vicodin addicts for years. My average Vicodin addict is taking, by the time they come to my treatment, they're taking about 50 tablets a day, which you'll get to eventually. Even then, they don't hurt their liver at all. And I've had people take him to 100 tablets a day. What they do get, what?

1:00:43🔗 Adam He just came in another five years.

1:00:45🔗 Drew No, I know. What they do get is deafness. That you can get sudden spontaneous deafness. And that can be even at the lower doses, even at the therapeutic doses, it turns out. So that's the one thing you wanna watch out for. And there's something about the way that people slowly escalate their Vicodin in lower tab use, that the liver has a chance to adjust to all the Tylenol that's getting poured into it. And it builds the enzymatic machinery to be able to deal with it.

1:01:09🔗 Adam It's 70 of those.

1:01:10🔗 Caller So I hope we have centers confidential so like my family won't find out or.

1:01:15🔗 Drew Yeah, at your age, you have a right to completely confidential health care. Yeah.

1:01:19🔗 Adam Yes.

1:01:20🔗 Drew All right. But you will need to tell you, someday you will need to tell your family because they're sick of it. Yeah, it's part of the world.

1:01:25🔗 Adam That's the eight step where they call me. They're crying, people I don't even know. Hey, listen, Drew.

1:01:32🔗 Drew Hey, what?

1:01:33🔗 Adam Let me say this buddy boy.

1:01:34🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:01:36🔗 Adam What people don't really take into account and like this guy, Mike, you know, he's 21. He's taken a handful of those lower tabs. And is that for pain?

1:01:46🔗 Drew It's a pain pill, yeah. So it's originally is for pain. And then there's the back pain of the headaches of chronic withdrawal that people think they're taking it for.

1:01:53🔗 Adam Right. Does it feel any different than Vicodin, that lower tab?

1:01:56🔗 Drew It's the exact same thing.

1:01:58🔗 Adam There it is. All right, here's my point. These guys, one, they want to get back to zero. They want to beat the drug, not have the family find out, not miss any days at work, not lose the relationship, not have any consequences at all.

1:02:15🔗 Drew And feel normal again.

1:02:16🔗 Adam And feel normal again. They want to get back to zero. And what they don't realize is, okay, I'm screwing this up, but what I'm saying is there will come a day when they'll wish they could get back to where they are right now.

1:02:31🔗 Drew That's true. Because there will be more and more consequences. Yep.

1:02:34🔗 Adam Right. And they think they're looking to get to zero. You're never going to undo it. I mean, you're going to have to come clean to somebody. It's going to cost you a couple bucks. You might have to miss a few days of work, but there will come a day when you're going to be in jail, you're going to be dead, you're going to be strung out. You're going to forget. This will be the least of your worries, missing a couple of weeks of work.

1:02:57🔗 Drew That's right.

1:02:57🔗 Adam You'll be longing for the couple of weeks of work thing when you're in the joint.

1:03:02🔗 Drew The switch has been thrown on this disease and once it's active, that's it, it's game on.

1:03:06🔗 Adam Right, and if you think your dad is going to be pissed by this, he'll be more pissed when he's arresting you.

1:03:13🔗 Drew Yeah, that's right.

1:03:15🔗 Adam That's what I'm saying. I think that's the part that people screw up on, Drew, is they don't want to give up anything.

1:03:22🔗 Drew But they delude themselves, and again, I don't know if it's the nature of the condition or the way our culture doesn't come to terms with this disease. They delude themselves into believing that if they could just stop, get off the drug, just get detoxed, then I'll be fine. Well, it simply isn't the case. It just isn't the case. Here we go. This is Sam, 22.

1:03:41🔗 Caller Hi, I have two unrelated but pertinent questions. One is, I've been on Depo-Provera for about a year and a half now, and in the last few months, I've experienced really heavy bleeding.

1:03:55🔗 Drew So you had no period for a long time?

1:03:57🔗 Caller No discernible period, like no five to seven days.

1:04:02🔗 Drew But you get what I'm saying. Well, listen, the usual situation is people bleed steadily for three months and then have stopped their period after that. And then sometimes- Yeah, sometimes it comes back again later.

1:04:14🔗 Caller I had spotting for about three months and then it was gone, and in the last three months, it's been continuous. I guess you could call it heavy spotting. It's not a very heavy flow or anything like that, but it's pretty much, yeah, constant, constant fun. So I haven't been able to get any real answers from the doctor that I go to. They're just, they give the kind of shocked expression, like, oh, well, that's not right. You should really talk to someone about that. Here, here's your shot. And, you know, moving along.

1:04:44🔗 Drew The gynecologist says you should talk to someone.

1:04:46🔗 Adam She's going to a clinic or something, right?

1:04:48🔗 Caller Yeah, well, I'm with Kaiser, you know.

1:04:50🔗 Drew Do you see a physician, though?

1:04:53🔗 Caller I do have the same gynecologist, but they kind of push me off.

1:04:58🔗 Drew But you see a physician, and they say you should talk to someone?

1:05:04🔗 Caller I've checked out the websites.

1:05:05🔗 Caller Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

1:05:06🔗 Drew How can the doctor, who does the doctor expect you to talk to, if not him or her?

1:05:10🔗 Caller No idea.

1:05:10🔗 Drew I don't think that's what they tell you, because you were talking to someone about it.

1:05:16🔗 Caller I'm talking to, well, let me rephrase that. I go in to see the gynecologist regularly, and I tell her about those issues, and she says, well, it might be time to get you on some new birth control, but we'll see about that later.

1:05:29🔗 Drew Correct. Let me interpret that. Don't worry about it. Just don't worry about it. It's a normal side effect of the shot.

1:05:34🔗 Caller Is this far gone?

1:05:37🔗 Drew This far out? Yeah, it does happen. It does happen, but it can be kind of, it does kind of, sometimes it's a sign that it is time to use something a little different. It's no big deal, but it's a sign that you're going to have more of that kind of thing and you might want to switch pills.

1:05:51🔗 Adam Switch it. Hey, Drew. Haven't brought this up in a while, but a marketing move, putting the permanente behind the word Kaiser. Great idea for a hospital.

1:06:02🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:06:02🔗 Adam Just putting the word permanente. You ain't never leaving. You'll be leaving with a toe tag. Kaiser permanente. Here's why I think permanente. I think bad 70s hairdo or permanente. I don't know who didn't, it's sort of like that UPS, what can Brown do for you? Like no one ever raised their hand at the meeting and said, fellas, we can't do better than this. This, what can Brown do for you? Like I think of my long johns when I think about what Brown did for me.

1:06:41🔗 Drew From now on, I'll be thinking about that, that's for sure.

1:06:44🔗 Adam Yeah, I mean, they're just certain, there's certain things like new Coke comes to mind. But I just mean the Permanente, I don't know what happened. Were they bought by the Permanente Insurance Group? Could they have changed the name? It just seems like the world's worst idea putting the word Permanente behind the hospital. And by the way, my family's a member of this Kaiser and listen to it, listen, everyone's always complaining, I got to wait in line, I don't have my own doctor, it takes six months. You pay $8 a month. What the hell do you want you people? You know what I'm saying? Yes. Yeah, you want to know why you wait in line? Cause it costs eight bucks a month. If it costs 500 bucks a month, there'd be no lines and you'd be complaining about how much it cost. That's how it goes you idiots. Jesus Christ. I got to do the math for everybody.

1:07:35🔗 Drew Sounds like you've been talking to your family lately.

1:07:37🔗 Adam Listen, Kaiser's going to put a hit on my grandmother. My grandmother's been to that Kaiser like 700 times in the last six months and eventually, and Drew, I know they have mercy killing squads. Do they not?

1:07:51🔗 Drew Kaiser does, of course.

1:07:52🔗 Adam Well, I just mean every major insurance group. I mean, that's how you keep profits up. You got to keep the shareholders happy, right? I mean, I'm talking about guys in pork pie hats and Hawaiian shirts and wrap-around sunglasses just going around, you know, cleaning up the loose ends. You know what I'm saying? Makes sense.

1:08:16🔗 Drew Christina.

1:08:16🔗 Adam What was Sam's second question? You had a second question.

1:08:19🔗 Drew Would you want to hear it?

1:08:21🔗 Adam Well, you just started going off about Permanente.

1:08:23🔗 Drew Christina, hold on a second. Let's see, where is Sam here? Sam, what's your second question?

1:08:30🔗 Caller You know what? I'll skip the second question. All right. Since it's involved, but I will say, please no more Dr. Bruce and no more Stryker. I know she was irritated with Dag, but that was, you know, if Adam's gotta be gone, please let it be Dag. And Dr. Alter is okay. This is true.

1:08:48🔗 Caller You're going to go to jail, buddy.

1:08:51🔗 Caller No more Dr. Bruce and no more Stryker. Stick with Dag.

1:08:55🔗 Adam Oh, we love Stryker. Stryker hasn't filled in a long time, has he?

1:09:00🔗 Drew No, I don't think so. It's been a while.

1:09:01🔗 Adam When has Stryker been here last?

1:09:04🔗 Drew I can't even remember. It's been a while.

1:09:06🔗 Adam Well, now get her back on for a second.

1:09:08🔗 Caller Look, with all my other boyfriends, I've only given them hand jobs.

1:09:11🔗 Drew Are you still there?

1:09:12🔗 Adam Hello?

1:09:13🔗 Drew No, she's not there anymore.

1:09:16🔗 Adam All right, so no more Stryker and no more, bro. That's going to send Bruce over the edge.

1:09:20🔗 Drew I love Bruce.

1:09:21🔗 Caller I think Bruce is the best fill-in.

1:09:23🔗 Adam Bruce is going to turn that laser on himself. All right, we got to take a break. Should we take a break?

1:09:31🔗 Drew Yeah, sure.

1:09:31🔗 Adam Let's take a break. Dr. Drew over there in New York, The Real McCoy, and I'm out here in LA. And we'll be right back after this.

1:09:48🔗 Caller I've had anal sex and I've passed out a couple times.

1:10:05🔗 Adam Hey, everybody, it's Loveline and Adam. That's Dr. Drew over there in New York. Phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. Hey, Drew. You know, we always laugh about the radio station and the folks that work in it.

1:10:24🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:10:24🔗 Adam Like when you open the refrigerator in the kitchen, and there's a half-eaten can of Chef Boyardee raviolis with a balled-up paper towel shoved into it to keep it fresh, to keep the three ravioli at the bottom of the can fresh. Remember I dragged that mess in?

1:10:41🔗 Drew Oh, yes.

1:10:43🔗 Adam The other thing, too. So here's the thing about radio stations, everybody. Technically, adults work here, but practically, it's children, right?

1:10:52🔗 Drew Well, let's put it that people over the age of 21 work here.

1:10:57🔗 Adam That's the only thing that makes them adults.

1:11:00🔗 Drew That's right.

1:11:01🔗 Adam Because what 42-year-old guy eats Chef Boyardee ravioli and then shoves the can back in it? I mean, the only food I could think of that would be worse than Chef Boyardee ravioli is two-day-old Chef Boyardee ravioli. Did you see what I'm saying?

1:11:18🔗 Drew Did you come across something?

1:11:19🔗 Adam No, here's what I came across. You know the vending machine that's in the hall by the kitchen? There's that big sign on it that says, this is broken. This machine took our quarter and it like wrote censored actually, didn't want to use any profanity. Under that sign is a whole list of adults, hold my fingers up, who've had their quarters stolen. And it's like, Rick, two-seventeen, one-quarter. Johnny, two-seventeen, two-quarters. Bobby, two-eighteen, one-quarter. And that's like a line, nine people deep of a-holes have lost a quarter. What the, you got to write down when you lost a quarter?

1:12:07🔗 Caller Right, what?

1:12:09🔗 Adam This is so when the guy comes to repair the machine, they can go, oh, okay. Now that's documented there. You see, there's a picture of me, there's a picture of me holding that day's newspaper, standing next to the machine with nothing coming out. Here is the dollar that I used to put in to make, so what, three weeks from now you can get your quarterback after a lengthy argument with the vending machine guy?

1:12:36🔗 Drew Well, Adam, you may be literally a millionaire, so it doesn't matter to people like you, but to the average working stiff, it's a big deal.

1:12:43🔗 Adam Oh yeah, yeah, that quarter, that's, you're writing your name on a list saying that you got your quarter stolen, and by the way, that list is 12 people deep. What's the 12th person excuse? You got all the dates and all the courts, a graveyard of quarters over there. It's devastating.

1:13:05🔗 Drew In other words, why did the subsequent guys put their money in the machine?

1:13:09🔗 Adam That's right, that's right. Like if I'm the vending machine guy, I'm like, listen, I go four names deep and then I cut off. You people, you've learned a valuable lesson that's gonna be worth much more than a quarter to you. The other thing I was thinking about is, I was telling you Thursday, there was a beheaded rat that was on my steps. And when I got back, it was waiting for me. The beheaded rat just right at the landing at the top of the stairs. And I thought, what am I gonna do with this rat? How am I gonna get rid of it? And then, you know, there's never a flathead shovel when you need it. So I thought I'll pick it up by the tail and I'll hurl it across the street and into like this down the hill, this vacant area.

1:13:57🔗 Drew By then you will have a plague.

1:13:59🔗 Adam Yeah. That's one of my wife's flu theories, by the way. So I picked the rat tail up.

1:14:09🔗 Drew Tularemia maybe, but I don't know about flu.

1:14:12🔗 Adam I picked the rat up by the tail, the headless rat. And as soon as I picked it up by its tail, its innards fell out through its neck and I immediately dropped the rat. And I thought, you see what happens when you try to be a hero?

1:14:26🔗 Drew Nice.

1:14:27🔗 Adam This is what happens. So I then found a rag that was lying around, picked the rat's tail up by the rag. And by the way, this is all, the only reason this move is made is so when my wife leaves for work in the morning, she doesn't see the rat and have a heart attack. Take the rat, tail by the rag, by the tail using the rag as a forceps, attempt to fling it using the rag, but of course screw up and have the thing land in the street directly across from my wife's car door on the driver's side. So she's sure to step on it. At that point, I just looked at it and I thought, well, I've done enough. You know what I mean? Like, you know that part where it's like, my work is done here. I can technically say I tried and now I'm walking away.

1:15:17🔗 Drew Well, it's only gonna get worse.

1:15:18🔗 Adam Yeah, I did that dealer thing they do in Vegas. You know, the blackjack dealer, I'm out. That's it. I'm gonna go up and vomit now. All right. Nice when the innards fall out in a nice pouch from inside the rat when you pick it up by the tail.

1:15:35🔗 Drew Yeah, that is disgusting.

1:15:37🔗 Adam All right, who are we talking to?

1:15:39🔗 Drew Christina, 18.

1:15:41🔗 Adam Yeah, let's happen.

1:15:45🔗 Caller Like...

1:15:48🔗 Adam Yeah. Why do guys have a problem kissing the girl after she's performed oral sex on them? They shouldn't, depending on how far the oral got, right, Drew?

1:16:05🔗 Drew Yeah. Yeah, I think she means... No, I'm just not wanting to answer this.

1:16:10🔗 Adam Well, let me talk to Christina again.

1:16:12🔗 Drew All right, yeah, she's there.

1:16:14🔗 Adam Christina.

1:16:15🔗 Drew Oh, he first, Anderson did that. So she must be gone, I guess.

1:16:18🔗 Caller Must we go back to Christina?

1:16:20🔗 Drew Yeah, Anderson's done.

1:16:21🔗 Adam All right, I don't know.

1:16:23🔗 Drew But I just say, just answer it. The guys aren't as good as showing their love.

1:16:30🔗 Adam You know what I mean? Remember how I didn't want to touch that rat tail?

1:16:33🔗 Drew There you go.

1:16:34🔗 Adam That's the same thing.

1:16:36🔗 Drew It is the same thing.

1:16:38🔗 Adam You guys don't want to make out with a part that's been on their part immediately after. Makes you kind of gay. I hate to say it, Drew, but it makes you gay.

1:16:47🔗 Drew A Germany or Florida, this is a Mac 19.

1:16:51🔗 Hey guys, I just want to say first of all, that this show is the only radio that I listen to aside from National Public Radio. Oh really? That's kind of a special thing.

1:17:03🔗 Drew I appreciate that.

1:17:04🔗 I'm not your regular demographic.

1:17:08🔗 Drew Well, maybe in 19, you're not their general demographic at NPR.

1:17:14🔗 Adam God, are there, I wanted to kick those Sandal Lovin Commies in the nuts when I saw how nice their studios were. We're operating out of a dump known as Westwood One for years and they're in this beautiful palatial place, it's high tech.

1:17:32🔗 Yeah, I was answering pledge drag phones there. It's really nice.

1:17:36🔗 Drew Well, it depends which city you're in too. I mean, it doesn't matter which city you're in. Every city has got a great NPR studio.

1:17:46🔗 Adam I like their shows too. Yeah, go ahead.

1:17:48🔗 Okay, so the Germany or Florida. All right. Drunken 31 year old man walks into a hospital complaining of severe abdominal pain. A radiograph shows an intestinal obstruction after interrogation, the man explains that he swallowed a condom filled with beer.

1:18:06🔗 Drew With beer?

1:18:07🔗 With beer, yeah.

1:18:08🔗 Drew Interesting.

1:18:08🔗 Yeah, the condom had to be punctured through the abdominal wall with a needle and 40 milliliters of beer were drawn off transcutaneously. The condom was passed the next day with his stool. And there's a hint on this, took place in September.

1:18:25🔗 Drew September, well, that goes close to October, Adam, which would be the Octoberfest.

1:18:31🔗 Adam And they pulled the milliliters of beer, but anything they pull out of you in a hospital gets converted into metric, right?

1:18:38🔗 Drew Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So the metric is, although not reported by the newspaper necessarily in metric, but.

1:18:45🔗 Adam Probably it's the only one they got. And when they, he said subcutaneously, so they-

1:18:49🔗 Drew I mean, they put a needle through his abdominal wall.

1:18:52🔗 Adam And pulled it out of his stomach?

1:18:55🔗 Drew They probably did it with an awl. Probably it couldn't pass the duodenum. And they just put it right through the abdominal wall.

1:19:01🔗 Adam To duodenum. And now how much beer did they get out of there? 40 milliliters.

1:19:08🔗 Drew 40 cc's. That's not that much, it's not that much.

1:19:12🔗 Adam 40, yeah, because one of those bottles of wine is like 750 milliliter, right?

1:19:19🔗 Drew Yeah, yeah.

1:19:19🔗 Adam So 40 is not much.

1:19:22🔗 Drew No, but it's enough.

1:19:22🔗 Adam What the hell are you swallowing a condom with a half a beer in it?

1:19:26🔗 Drew Yes, what was the point?

1:19:28🔗 Adam Man, the beer feels German, the September feels German, the swallowing of condom feels Floridian.

1:19:34🔗 Drew No, no, you know what? It's too, it's too.

1:19:36🔗 Adam It kind of gave us a clue, but what kind of clue? Maybe he's trying to throw us off.

1:19:40🔗 Drew Well, September, October, Octoberfest, but it's Bauhaus, it's creative, you know what I mean? It's like an artistic maneuver.

1:19:46🔗 Adam Yeah, but I don't trust this Mac.

1:19:49🔗 Drew Yeah, I don't either.

1:19:50🔗 Adam Mac tried to give us a hint.

1:19:52🔗 I have another question for you too.

1:19:54🔗 Adam Well, hold on a second. I'm going to go against Mac and his tips.

1:19:59🔗 Drew Okay, go Florida.

1:20:00🔗 Adam I don't know, he said he likes this show. Jesus Christ. All right, let's go Germany.

1:20:05🔗 Drew All right, I'm with you.

1:20:06🔗 Germany it is, yeah, Munich. September because in Germany, Octoberfest happens the last week of September.

1:20:13🔗 Adam See what you get from listening to Morning Becomes Eclectic.

1:20:18🔗 Caller All right, so what's the next question?

1:20:20🔗 I'm an architecture student and Adam, I know you used to work in construction and I'm really interested in sustainability and closing the loop, the material loop and I'm wondering what sort of construction waste you think is unnecessary and how would you deal with getting rid of it?

1:20:38🔗 Adam So you're talking about like sort of ecology.

1:20:41🔗 Exactly.

1:20:42🔗 Drew Ecology or efficiency?

1:20:45🔗 Both. Ideally you reuse everything that you have, if you're making a concrete form.

1:20:50🔗 Drew Actually Adam is pretty good at this. He sort of is genius at this stuff. He does it in real time. Right, Adam, would you say?

1:20:59🔗 Adam Well, both designing and engineering.

1:21:02🔗 Drew Well, the stuff you design and the choices you make as you're building have maximum efficiency.

1:21:06🔗 Adam I'm a genius.

1:21:07🔗 Drew You said all your buddy, the people you have working for you are throwing stuff away that you wanted to reuse. Remember that? The plywood or something in there?

1:21:14🔗 Adam Yeah, well, they're just stupid. That's all. Yeah, so what, now here's what's happening. And what, you know, they're getting into all this, they're figuring out ways to reuse a lot of stuff and make a lot of, which called like structural lumber now, an engineered lumber, they call it. You know, out of all the pulp and all the stuff and you know, instead of just cutting down big trees. But the most wasteful part of the construction process. I mean, I would say in general, they'll come a time and it's already coming where you'll just order everything prefabbed. You'll order all your walls prefabricated. I mean, you know, if you think about the biggest effect on the environment, it's the R value being wasted, you know, all the heating going out the window and through the cracks and all that kind of stuff.

1:22:12🔗 Drew Yeah, that is interesting.

1:22:13🔗 Adam So so I mean, that's a bigger impact than a than a two by four getting wasted.

1:22:18🔗 I would think it was the beer cans not being recycled.

1:22:21🔗 Adam It has to do. Oh, come on, Anderson. We're getting serious for a second here. Here's here's my point. When you order a huge pile of lumber and then frame a house out of that huge pile of lumber, there's going to be a lot of waste, as opposed to ordering all the walls prefabbed and tilting them up. So I think the more prefabricated things get, the more efficient they'll get and the less waste they'll get, just like a factory. You know what I mean? I mean, when you're building one Ford Model T, there's going to be a lot of waste, but when you're building a million of them, you'll do it in a much more efficient fashion. All right. Thank you and Mahalo.

1:23:02🔗 Caller All right, buddy.

1:23:04🔗 Adam Drew, what about it?

1:23:06🔗 Caller What about it? What about what?

1:23:07🔗 Adam I don't know. Modern building techniques.

1:23:10🔗 Drew It's fascinating to me, but I know nothing about it. Good times. Time for the break, huh?

1:23:16🔗 Adam Really? Let's go out on a Loveline call. Who do we got over there?

1:23:21🔗 Drew Can we take the line three there, Anderson? Anna? I'll put her on hold. I'm not sure.

1:23:28🔗 Caller Maybe we should check during the break.

1:23:31🔗 Adam What's up with Anna?

1:23:32🔗 Drew She's got another one of those calls like Christina had.

1:23:35🔗 Adam Little filthy, huh?

1:23:38🔗 Drew Here we go. This is Lena 20. Lena?

1:23:42🔗 Yeah.

1:23:46🔗 Drew There you are.

1:23:47🔗 Adam You made it. What's up?

1:23:49🔗 So this is the deal. I'm old and I've been a virgin my whole life until about two months ago. I was on a date with this guy and he date-raped me. And I was just wondering about three days afterwards, I got my period, but I haven't gotten it since then. It's almost two months ago. And I was wondering if there's a possibility I could be pregnant.

1:24:12🔗 Drew Do you want me to answer that or do you want to go to break?

1:24:17🔗 Adam Let's go to break, but hold on, hold on. Let me just find out. How did he date? I mean, how did this date-rape work? Did you report him?

1:24:25🔗 Caller No.

1:24:26🔗 Adam What happened?

1:24:27🔗 Caller He didn't. Well, we were really, we were actually really good friends. And we just, he said he wanted to take me out and so we went on a date together and we went back to his house afterwards and he wanted to and I didn't, but he was bigger than I am, so it didn't really matter.

1:24:46🔗 Drew Did he just keep pushing and pushing or?

1:24:48🔗 Adam He held you down?

1:24:49🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:24:51🔗 Drew And with a weapon or something?

1:24:53🔗 Caller No.

1:24:54🔗 Adam Oh, but he was so much bigger. Did he yell for help?

1:24:56🔗 Caller Yeah, but it was really loud. There were a lot of people. He lived in an apartment and there were a lot of people in the apartment next to his. I guess they're running apart in there, so.

1:25:08🔗 Adam Wait, you didn't report him?

1:25:10🔗 Caller Mm-mm.

1:25:11🔗 Adam Well, why not?

1:25:13🔗 Caller I don't know.

1:25:15🔗 Drew Did you try to run?

1:25:16🔗 Adam She got running on top of her.

1:25:19🔗 Drew But did he hold you back when you kicked and screamed, tried to run away?

1:25:22🔗 Caller Mm-hmm.

1:25:24🔗 Drew He actually held you, wow.

1:25:26🔗 Adam All right, put her on hold, Drew. I know what Drew is saying. Listen, we're both suspicious now because why didn't she report him? I, by the way, and I know this sounds horrible, this is everything else I say. I couldn't imagine being able to physically rape somebody. I mean, have penetration with somebody who I didn't say, and I could imagine saying, look, I'm gonna kill your kids unless you hold still and let me have sex with you. That I could understand. I don't mean understand, but I could physically see you pulling that off.

1:26:00🔗 Drew How do you physically pull off sex with a bobcat?

1:26:04🔗 Adam That's what I'm saying. I mean, when it's nothing but teeth and nails and screaming and kicking, I don't know how you get, I know how you grab a boob. I can't imagine actually having intercourse with that person. And yeah, I understand the part where they say something like make any noise and I'll break your neck, and the person holds still. And that's, I mean, that's part of the crime. But I'm just saying it would always, I'm always a little suspicious in these situations. And we should talk to her and find out what the hell's up with her past and all that. And maybe she will bring charges against this guy. All right. Well, take a break. We'll get back with Lena. We'll answer a question about pregnancy and all that. Oh, I'm going to get some change and hit the vending machine. Drew, you want anything? Oh, the peanuts. No, no, I'm going to the Pepsi machine with the list of losers. Thank you. Hey, should I just write my F you loser 50 cents and write the date? I'm going to do that. I don't have Chris to do that. All right, after this. Hey everybody! I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew out in New York. Just looking at the schedule, Dave Navarro is coming in here a little bit later this week. Right. Drew, you'll be happy to know that I saw him on his television show with Carmen Electra. I think that do us part. When they get ready to get married, he went on down for a colonic. I know you have some thoughts about that. He needed to detoxify. He needed to rejuvenate.

1:28:08🔗 Drew Good times.

1:28:09🔗 Adam Yeah. It's always the same broad working at that place too. It's that super husky, was a chain smoker, Bulgarian accent, heavy set woman in her fifties.

1:28:20🔗 Drew Usually European suspect nationality, unclear nationality.

1:28:26🔗 Adam Never looks like things are going too good for them. You know what I mean? Like, you've been doing the colonics for 40 years, honey. You look like a sack of manure with a cigarette and some lipstick. You know what I'm saying? Nothing's been working out for you. Hey, Drew, what does that colonic do? Nothing?

1:28:49🔗 Drew Nothing.

1:28:50🔗 Adam Just pulls the duke out of you?

1:28:52🔗 Drew Pulls the duke out of you. I mean, just think about it. It's all outside your body.

1:28:58🔗 Adam But, Drew, the toxins, your body's like a thermos, okay? And the toxins come in, okay? First off, everything, we're living in a toxic environment, okay? The carpeting in your house, okay? Toxic. That car you're driving behind on the freeway, stuck in traffic, toxins pouring out. The meat you're eating, filled with toxins and hormones, the vegetables sprayed with toxins, okay? So those toxins all enter your body. You ever feel tired? Let me ask engineer Chris. You ever feel tired? Have you ever felt tired? Yeah, you have. And sometimes when the alarm goes off in the morning, you don't feel like getting out of bed, do you? No, you don't. You know why? Sometimes your back will hurt. Okay, I'll tell you why. And sometimes you wake up and you're thinking, I'm not in a great mood. Why is that? I'll tell you why. Toxins, they're storing in your body, okay? They gather in your body. You start feeling run down. You have to flush those toxins out of your system and rejuvenate. Okay? Because you're starting, you're walking around. You're like a big, you know what you are? You're a big toxin, a Boda bag. That's what you are. You're a Boda bag filled with toxins. And what this does is it cleanses the toxins, okay? All right? As a doctor, you understand that. Don't, do you not, Drew?

1:30:19🔗 Drew I do not, that's right. Thank you.

1:30:22🔗 Adam This is a bunch of crap, right? Literally.

1:30:25🔗 Drew I mean, literally. First of all, people are not biologists. They don't even understand what they're saying when they say toxin.

1:30:33🔗 Adam But Drew, if I put a hose up your ass and pump a few aquariums full of water through your lower intestine.

1:30:40🔗 Drew I'll feel better.

1:30:41🔗 Adam You'll feel better, right?

1:30:42🔗 Drew Yeah, of course.

1:30:44🔗 Adam Any time you pull something out of your ass, you immediately feel better. Maybe it's a relative thing. I'm going to put your sack in a shop vise. When you release it, yeah, you feel better.

1:30:56🔗 Drew Why don't they get a colonoscopy? Every speck is cleaned out of there so they can see every inch of the surface. Yeah, that makes you feel good. Let's finish Lena before you.

1:31:07🔗 Adam That's not detoxifying.

1:31:11🔗 Drew So, we wonder why you... What was the nature of the fight you put up and why you didn't report this guy? And it makes us think that perhaps that you're a trauma survivor and were sort of set up as a victim.

1:31:23🔗 Caller I'm completely normal. I'm really lucky with my past, my background, my history, my family and everything like that.

1:31:30🔗 Drew So is it just that this really didn't bother you that much? That's why you didn't report it?

1:31:33🔗 Caller No, I kind of felt like it was kind of my fault. I kind of felt like I kind of antagonized it. And see, okay, so this is what happened. So like we were like making out and everything. We were at his house after our date or whatever. We were at his house and we were like making out and stuff. And basically like he kept bugging me about it and I kept telling him that I didn't want to and all that. But he was on top of me and basically like he was in me and it really, really, really, really hurt. And so like I started screaming and I was telling him to get off me and he didn't until I guess, I don't know, it seemed like a really long time, but I guess it could have only been like, you know, 10, 15, 20 seconds, something like that. But it seemed like a really long time. So, I mean, finally he got off me.

1:32:20🔗 Adam Have you talked to him since?

1:32:22🔗 Caller Yeah, I see him every day.

1:32:23🔗 Adam And you're not angry at him?

1:32:26🔗 Caller No, I really am. I don't talk to him. I have to see him because we go to school together.

1:32:32🔗 Drew I'm still, we're running out of time. I would like to talk to her some more.

1:32:36🔗 Adam Do you ever wake up in the morning and feel tired?

1:32:38🔗 Drew Like you don't want to get out of bed? There you go. It sounds like an awful situation. And yet, he's kind of your friend, but he's kind of not, and you sort of feel guilty. But really, you're guilty of him attacking you?

1:32:50🔗 Adam Okay, here's the thing. I don't think you're going to sell this one to any judge. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? It wouldn't be bad to get this guy on record. I mean, I'm just being realistic here.

1:33:02🔗 Drew I'm not clear what happened even.

1:33:03🔗 Adam I'm not clear what happened either.

1:33:06🔗 Drew Did you invite him in? No? Yes?

1:33:11🔗 Adam We're running out of time here. Here's the thing. Can she be pregnant?

1:33:14🔗 Drew Yes. It's very simple these days. Get a pregnancy test. Go ahead and get one.

1:33:18🔗 Adam He didn't have an orgasm, though, I don't think.

1:33:22🔗 Drew It's still possible, but it's not likely. But it's possible. Of course, just get a home pregnancy test.

1:33:26🔗 Adam Get it and be more careful. And sorry.

1:33:28🔗 Condoms, condoms, condoms.

1:33:31🔗 Adam We'll be right back.

1:33:32🔗 Okay, so I know there's nothing wrong with me. So what's up? 877-889-DATE.

1:34:22🔗 Drew Mercifully.

1:34:23🔗 Adam Mercifully.

1:34:24🔗 Drew Definitely listen to those public service announcements while I'm sitting here chilling.

1:34:28🔗 Adam Oh, yeah. You learn a lot of important things about nothing. Where's my PSA about why the goddamn sprinklers gotta be on on the side of freeway during torrential downpours? All right, I guess we don't have the technology to take care of that. Well, when we're done with the next Mars Probe, we'll get on that. All right, Drew, God bless you there from New York. You're back in studio tomorrow night. Until next time, this is Adam Carolla for Dr. Drew saying mahalo. Look, I'm gonna kill your kids unless you hold still and let me have sex with you. That I could understand.

1:35:02🔗 Caller This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or this station. The producer for Loveline is Annie Gold. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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