1:03🔗
Hey, everybody, it's the best of Loveline.
1:11🔗
No.
1:13🔗
I would have succumbed to the illness by the time you hear this. Oh, Drew, I'm in bad shape.
1:19🔗
Adam
But here's the point. The thing about the best of is it's really better than what you would hear.
1:27🔗
Drew
Look, it's better than the best of for the listeners, and it's certainly better than the best of for us.
2:07🔗
Caller
Right up through his alley, by the way. Doesn't like to talk about it. Peter Gallagher.
2:16🔗
Caller
And Adam Brody, by the way, from the OC as well. And band AFI who we just saw at the Acoustic Christmas.
2:25🔗
That is a big show.
2:28🔗
Yeah.
4:08🔗
Roll up on the show.
4:55🔗
Drew
Kids, you know, they're no, I know that's where they established their pad. That's the launching pad.
4:58🔗
Best Of
That's where you mean to tell me that every relationship you were like, like married, like an old potbelly baldhead married middle aged guy.
5:12🔗
Hey, I really love him.
5:20🔗
Well, he sort of stole some stuff from Target and had cigarettes on him. And he also lied to the cops when they asked him what his name was.
5:37🔗
Adam
He's one of the good ones. He's one of the good ones. He's good people. He's good people. And he must have gotten into trouble before this. I don't know. Yeah, because listen, you don't, you don't, they don't put you away because you got cigarettes on you when you get popped. Yeah, Steve, even that, like first offense kind of stuff, if he has a decent family and stuff.
6:26🔗
Best Of
It was like the Mama Cass story. Mama Cass Elliott. She just had a chicken sandwich. Now she's a heroin addict. Got it.
6:31🔗
That's right. Let's say some babies.
6:56🔗
Drew
No, because something happened when she was like six. Yeah, what happened when you were six?
7:00🔗
No, nobody died.
7:08🔗
Well, I'm a little person, I guess.
7:10🔗
Drew
No, but before you get to the question, we need to sort of learn about you a little bit. I'm a little person, I guess. No, but before you get to the question, we need to sort of learn about you a little bit. And if you had to sort of be the parent in the family?
7:29🔗
Yeah.
7:34🔗
Caller
Oh, like I think about it and she was always drinking, but like now, like I realize it more that I'm older.
7:41🔗
Best Of
But did you know when you were like a little kid that mom was drunk? She wasn't like sick?
7:54🔗
Drew
Yeah, I understand you never realized it, but the facts are she did these things and they traumatized you.
8:05🔗
Dad is the best person ever.
8:11🔗
Yeah, always.
8:15🔗
Caller
So anyways, like me and my boyfriend, I've been with him for a year now. And when we make love, it's like I need him to like just be totally rough with me so I can have a good orgasm. And it's like, I mean, we could do like, seriously, like we could do it slow. And it's like I can orgasm but just not like the same.
8:51🔗
Oh, yeah, all the time.
8:59🔗
Yeah.
9:13🔗
Best Of
Hold still. Hold still. Hold still. Don't... Move now. Stop. Stop wiggling. Thank you very much. That's a little excerpt from my one-man show called Making Love with Dag. How many nights have I done that?
11:17🔗
Adam
And the way I can shut up while Drew talks, yeah, I'll come over there and give you a C flogging.
11:27🔗
Adam
You got to get that's like the white Eddie Murphy character. Hey, you listen to me, young, youngness, I'll come over there and get in a hump you within an inch of your life by cracking Jesus, Joseph and Mary won't be able to stop me.
11:41🔗
Best Of
Adam, think homeless man is asking for change. Now watch how my voice change, don't look at me, turn around, stop now.
11:49🔗
Caller
I think if I talk dirty to my boyfriend, it would help me like have a better orgasm or get more around.
12:05🔗
Why do I need it?
12:15🔗
Drew
It changes the wiring in your brain and things that remind you of those traumas become sources of attraction. It may be that people if they get sufficiently traumatized, they need to raise the level of chemicals in their brain or to even experience arousal or to experience themselves sexually because you can think of those things as sort of being depleted or burned out by the repeated traumas and so in order to feel sexual, to feel intensity of sexual feelings, you have to have these very high levels of arousal because of all the repeated injury from your mom.
12:45🔗
Best Of
I'd say it's going to escalate because you're going to get bored with that if he does it all the time.
12:49🔗
Drew
It could. It can. If it becomes a fetish where you need this, the fetishes sort of evolve sometimes.
12:55🔗
Best Of
I went out with a girl who was in the audience and she would cue me but I didn't know. I didn't know she was killing me because the first time we first started, she was like, we get in a situation where you're like, man, I guess I was really bad. Oh, I'd be like, what? What are you talking about?
13:08🔗
Best Of
But then, yeah, once I clicked into the script, you know, she'd say, man, I was really bad. Yes, you are. Don't look at me. Turn around. Turn around. Turn around. Turn around, girl. Don't make me.
13:19🔗
Adam
Let me try again. Let me try again. Okay, young Missy, I'm going to perform rapid intercourse.
13:30🔗
Best Of
What are you doing, Adam? No, really, I want you to really try this. Adam, think homeless man trying to ask for change. Go.
14:51🔗
Caller
Well, I've been going out with my boyfriend for about two years, and we've been having sex like the full two years, but I just, every time we have sex, it feels like the first time I had sex, like it hurts really, really bad.
15:20🔗
Drew
So that means you're... Yeah, but you may be having some spasm of the muscles down there, something called vaginismus or something like that anyway.
15:41🔗
Drew
It's just that it suggests that you're kind of anxious and maybe you shouldn't be having sex at all.
15:48🔗
Best Of
How old were you when you first had sex? The first time? Was it with the same guy? Do you have orgasms?
16:02🔗
Adam
Not any time. You fake them once in a while. You do that thing. Let me explain how women are with the orgasms. They're like guys are when they're being hypnotized. You know what I mean? They go, are you him? And you're like, yeah, and then when you're done, you go, well, what, what happened, dude? Do you think you're real? And you go, uh, I think I kind of, I mean, I could hear him, uh, you know, right. That's what it is. You're kind of hoping you were and maybe you got relaxed, but you never actually, the girls I'm with never actually. Oh, they have the crazy ones, right?
16:33🔗
Best Of
Not all of them. I mean, all of them are just like some girls that go out, they don't have them all the time, but they have to be right there. Other girls I've gone out with have have them. You sneeze on them and they're like, oh, yeah.
16:49🔗
Best Of
I wish I could have made love to who's a loop job. I mean, the biggest knucklehead like Judy Garland or somebody. She would have been like, oh, yeah.
17:01🔗
Drew
By the way, it's nice the way they declared their love in front of God and everyone and that marriage lasted about three weeks.
17:18🔗
Best Of
I know. I know. Here's she's a hundred. No one cares. Why did she feel the need to do that publicly? Maybe back. It's like when Shirley MacLean wrote her tell all book, she's seventy.
17:32🔗
Adam
No, it's smacks of compensation. It's like when Michael Jackson's got to go make out with Lisa Marie Presley so everyone can see straight.
17:42🔗
Best Of
Well, God bless Lisa Marie Presley, because at least she answers questions about it. She goes, well, come on, I was young. I was crazy. Please, give me a break.
17:55🔗
Drew
Nope. Have you had a pelvic exam? All right. Well, listen, you have sex for two years. You must go do that. First of all, to find out whether there's something anatomically that could be causing the pain or medically, secondly, women that begin having sex at a young age are the ones that get cervical cancer.
18:15🔗
Drew
The cancer is potentially fatal. So just as proper health maintenance, you must have a pelvic exam, okay? And then what are you using for birth control? All right. So maybe talk about the morning after pill or something to keep available in case the condoms fail or maybe get on the birth control.
19:02🔗
Adam
It's got to be rough working in that planned parenthood because you're really, you're like a collision center. You know what I mean?
19:22🔗
Best Of
You know, when I was in college at University of Michigan, I had a girlfriend who back then it was all the IUD and stuff.
19:29🔗
Best Of
And there was a chick there who was like a she wasn't a doctor, but she was a nurse practitioner who the hottest chicks she would save their IUDs like she had a collection of them.
19:41🔗
Best Of
You know, when they when they when she took them out because she I think she's lesbian.
19:46🔗
Best Of
No, she would go, do you mind if I save this? Like one of my chicks, she got it taken out.
19:52🔗
Best Of
No, no, no, no, no, no. She collected them. They look like art. They look like jewelry.
19:59🔗
Drew
Back then, there was the Lippies Loop and the Copper 7, and the Dalcon Shield was there then.
20:06🔗
Best Of
I'm just telling you what she told me. And this was back then. And she said the chick was all creepy and stuff.
20:18🔗
Best Of
Dr. Drew at the pearly gates. You've been hit by a bus. You're dead. Yeah. Yeah. St. Peter. What an attitude. Who raped you? Were you abused, please? Who are your parents?
20:43🔗
Yes.
20:46🔗
Adam
You want to know if you swallow your boyfriend's essence? Will she pass it to your baby through breastfeeding? Right. This is a very valid question.
20:59🔗
Adam
Hold on. Hold on a second. Because really that you don't want your own kids suckling your old man's spunk or if you do have them go right to the source. You know what I'm saying?
21:17🔗
Best Of
I got an argument with a woman with a post-graduate degree that said the reason why she doesn't swallow is the caloric intake is too great. I said get out of here.
22:38🔗
Caller
Home, really? Wife just using your sack, like a hacky sack, just kicking around the house like a college student. Oh, Speedbag.
23:23🔗
Adam
I got to queue up the teleprompter for Triumph. Triumph the Insult Comic Dog, everybody.
24:14🔗
Adam
Yeah, he had a big, he was a rangy guy for his first day at Linkin. Wasn't it? The Linkin Monument though, it's got a pretty good size.
24:26🔗
Adam
You've humped? So we have a certain degree of respect for Linkin. Didn't Schwimmer do a PSA where he told him not to pee on the Linkin Monument or talk to your kids? Don't pee on the Linkin Monument while you're talking to your kids. You know what I'd like to do? I would like to do very specific public service announcements. Do not pee on the Linkin Monument, please. And just leave it at that. The more you know. Instead of the hugely vague, like talk to the kids, I'd like to reel it in and get super specific, just pinpoint with it.
25:00🔗
Best Of
Now isn't that something we used to do on the Conan Show a little bit? What do you do? That's a funny bit that we did on the Conan Show.
25:07🔗
Adam
All right. No, no, no. The Conan Show, full of funny bits. There's no doubt about it. It's chock full of funny bits. There's no doubt about it.
25:18🔗
Adam
Yes. Conan's a good writer and he's a decent host and he's a funny guy. He's sort of non-human in his way of communicating with you.
26:00🔗
Caller
My boyfriend has pictures of his old girlfriend, like naked, and like he has porn that he's done.
26:30🔗
Caller
Well, I saw some pictures and I was just asking him questions. I mean, I had never really thought about that before. And he was like admitting to it.
26:43🔗
Adam
Yeah. How's the relationship going? Believe me, he's got a few videos of you, too. Oh, yes.
26:53🔗
Drew
Yeah. Jamie, not a great impulse. I mean, guys have that impulse, but they actually carry it out and then keep these things around and just.
27:09🔗
Adam
Yeah, look at a screw memory to beat off to a raft box like I had to do when I was 15 and had no porn. Jamie.
27:33🔗
Adam
And how come you're not more outraged? I mean, here's how it usually goes. The woman finds the porn, the movie, the pictures, whatever it is of the ex-girlfriend. She insists that they be destroyed. The guy promises they'll be destroyed. He quickly makes a do of it and then destroys a version of it. Yeah. Yeah. No, no, you can't put them in a vault. You have to destroy them.
27:55🔗
Adam
But you got to make a copy. That's why you should always have a few copies floating around.
28:04🔗
Adam
Has he ever, has he asked to film you? Does that hurt your feelings? Like you're not quality enough for him to film?
28:56🔗
Drew
Have they been successful? Were you felt good about them? Or have they been kind of problematic? What's been the problem?
29:21🔗
Best Of
Long after. Honey, listen, you just stick with him and he'll stop. He won't care about it if he knows you're in it for the long haul and then you'll be around, you'll be together for a while and then he'll get interested in them again.
29:35🔗
Adam
And I'm wondering, by the way, if in the future, if everyone's just gonna film of everyone in some, either naked or humping.
29:46🔗
Drew
But the question is, were these women consenting that he should film these things and why can't she, the fact that she doesn't have any reaction to it other than sort of bewilderment is not the normal reaction.
30:50🔗
Caller
I am very concerned about my boyfriend. He's barely giving me sex once a month, but I am used to it like four or five times a day and I'm just not feeling it anymore.
31:22🔗
Caller
No, well, from at the beginning, it was like maybe a couple of times a week. But since I don't know other girls have come around, like his ex-girlfriends, and he would like disappear for days on end. I've only been getting it like once a month. And then it's like even trying hard to get it from him.
33:12🔗
Drew
I was thinking the whole time I was thinking there's a guy in the room, there's a guy behind her.
33:17🔗
Adam
They work women like puppets because they know they can get through. You see what I mean? Right. Soon Alcada is going to start using blondes against us. Don't worry. We don't, we don't suspect women. Women don't, don't, don't make prank phone calls. They don't have a sense of humor. There has to be a guy behind it.
33:41🔗
Adam
Yeah, we don't, we don't get the baba buoys. We don't get that, we don't get enough. I mean, I don't really care because we leave, we live at midnight. So I'll take as many as we can take before midnight.
33:52🔗
Best Of
I think baba buoys are a good sign. It shows that, you know, they feel your show is important to plug Howard on.
34:14🔗
Best Of
All right. A bar gives women the opportunity to drop off their spouse if they wish to go shopping with their without this one.
34:33🔗
Drew
It's basically one for about three months ago. Set up a wood shop for guys to hang out in during all the...
34:39🔗
Adam
Yeah, yes, of course. We have a question for Triumph, actually. Want to take that one? Mike?
35:06🔗
Best Of
Well, you know, it's a... I never got the chance to ask my mom what country she was from, because...
35:29🔗
Best Of
My Lord. That's what this is about. You're just trying to get it out of me. Yes, I was abused.
35:35🔗
Adam
Yeah, it's tough. You have a big litter of eight or ten dogs. You're separated from your mother's teat very early.
35:41🔗
Best Of
You know, her teats were nothing to... They were no great shakes. Really? I used to give her teats. I used to ride them something fierce. Hey, nipple! If you were any smaller, I'd need CPR.
35:58🔗
Drew
But surely you could go back to that puppy farm. They would remember you. You were the talking dog.
36:18🔗
Best Of
Yeah, it's kind of a Mr. Ed thing. Right, right. They don't talk, but not in front of you and, you know, they call up the Los Angeles Dodgers and give advice, but they think that it's very complicated.
36:41🔗
Best Of
Sorry, honestly, I never even know. My father never even knew what breed my mom was because he never saw her face.
36:48🔗
Adam
Oh, really? Yes. Oh, it worked. Oh, doggy style. Yeah. Yeah, that's tough, too. And, you know, with dogs, there's, uh, Drew, there are almost all mutts these days, and the purebreds.
37:11🔗
Adam
We have some more. We're taking a break. But when we come back, we're gonna talk to each girlfriend is cheated on him. Poor 17 year old Drew, not Drew, the doctor, the man who claims to be a doctor. But Drew, the 17 year old caller, has been cheated on. And who else we're gonna talk to, Drew?
37:52🔗
Adam
Still have the cold after all these minutes, Drew. Coming up next is a young redheaded lass named after snack cake, Sara Rue.
38:39🔗
Adam
He was coincid, he was giving a recipe, a recipe for a gazpacho was actually just a pure coincidence that it sounded like the words. Anal Andy Dick in the hizzy. Sara Rue on tonight from the same show Andy Dick is on. Although I bet she gets paid more. Hell yeah. Why shouldn't she get paid more?
39:18🔗
Caller
My working relationship is going quite well with Andy Dick. I don't want to rock the boat.
39:29🔗
Caller
He told me that he was quiet. He told me that he came in and that he really felt like you guys had it covered and what advice could he possibly offer. So then he told, that's why he told me not to talk too much tonight.
39:55🔗
Caller
Sharing is good, but not when it's with needles. Cause then the only thing positive is your HIV test. Right.
40:16🔗
Caller
I like that one. But no, this one is about how his, whatever, the singer's girlfriend's butt smells better than her vagina. We like that one. He played that one on a morning show a couple weeks ago. Didn't go over so well.
40:33🔗
Adam
I seem to play that on my wedding, actually. Acoustically, acoustically, because I thought it wouldn't be tasteful if I plugged in the hands.
40:49🔗
Caller
Oh yeah, I'm supportive. My favorite is when that other guy throws up in Andy's mouth. Have you seen that?
40:58🔗
Caller
Yeah, he has his sponsor, quote unquote, and he does this bit where his sponsor's drunk and he throws up in his mouth because he opens his mouth to like yell at him and.
41:23🔗
Caller
I just want to say I love you guys so much. You give me so much information that I just can't ask my friends about.
41:33🔗
Caller
Okay. I like this guy I've known for about four years and I've liked him on and off. And the other day I finally got up the courage to tell him that and he was really psyched and said that, oh, well, I like you too kind of thing. And. Then.
41:55🔗
Caller
Oh, we met at this like Christian camp thing and it's been kind of crazy since then, but he's gone out with a couple of my friends.
42:33🔗
Caller
And he then started asking me all these questions about, you know, how far I've been with guys and things like that. And I'm still really innocent with that. And.
42:48🔗
Caller
I intend to, but he was really pressuring me about different stuff like, you know, have you had oral sex or have you given it?
43:15🔗
Caller
Well, he was talking about how, well, I know that he has a few other girls that like him. And he's not like a player kind of guy. He's always been really quiet and kind of distant from a lot of girls.
43:38🔗
Adam
No, the guys who do it are the gregarious, outgoing ones. Those are the killers. All right. Well, I love guys. Guys are great, too, because you wonder, what's wrong with this story? They've known each other for four years. They've been around each other. He's had other girlfriends. He's never actually tried to lower the boom on her. And Sara, you play the part of 16-year-old Jenna asking me. This is great, too.
44:36🔗
Caller
It's cool. Listen, I was just, I don't know. I don't know if you sort of, but like whatever, like the past couple of years, I was just thinking, you seem cool. And like, I know that you dated Joe for a while, but now you guys are done. I mean, I just kind of think you're, I think you're, I think you're a cool guy. And I was kind of wondering if you think I'm like, I'm, you know, I don't know.
45:01🔗
Adam
You know what would make you cooler if you gave me a handy? Oh. Is that something you're into? What are you done?
45:13🔗
Adam
Yeah. But I'd like to be more India. And it'd be easier for me to be more India if, you know, my dork was into your mouth.
45:28🔗
Adam
Because I talk, I saw this clay mated show at like 430 in the morning with this dog and this other guy. And whatever it was, I just remember walking away from it thinking it's cool. So that's cool. So we can start dating if your interpretation of dating is you give me a handy in my truck.
45:55🔗
Adam
Cool. Don't tell anybody. Don't tell anybody. Jenna? Thank you. Of course. Of course. I know. Yes.
46:06🔗
Caller
It's hard, Jenna. Like, that's a hard situation for you. I bet you were like, I don't know what to say. Because on one hand, here's this guy you really like. And so you don't want to miss an opportunity. But then on the other hand, you kind of feel itky about it, right?
46:27🔗
Drew
What you're supposed to say is he wasn't that big of an a-hole. But if he was that big of an a-hole, anybody standing back and lists that interaction would go, Jenna, run.
46:40🔗
Caller
And you sound awesome. I think you can do so much better. You just sound like such a cool girl. I think you can aim higher.
46:47🔗
Adam
And I know you're really into him because everyone else is into him. And there's some heat and all that.
46:59🔗
Adam
And I know. But let's you know, you've seen you've seen the side of him that's mildly interested in you at best. And that is alluring to you. Find some nice guy who's into you.
47:13🔗
Adam
And girls, I know it goes against your nature oftentimes. But you better start getting used to it. It's a better life being with people that want to be with you in a sincere way.
47:23🔗
Drew
I think how awful it is. She she has to say, yeah, that's Trevor. Adam, good job. That was Trevor. That sucks. Yeah. I mean, well, that's what we say. I love that.
47:45🔗
Adam
Yeah. We'll take ourselves a quick break. May we'll get on that show. You know, it's been a while. Less than perfect. Do a little guest casting.
48:01🔗
Caller
We take place in a news station. You know, you guys could play anchors, you know, or we could be make.
48:20🔗
Bottom line, here's the deal.
48:26🔗
Caller
Call the Dateline. 877-889-DATE. Loveline. With Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew, I wanna drive alternative San Francisco. Let's go.
49:02🔗
Adam
Drew, really? It's not enough that I do 90% of the show, now you don't want to do the 10% you have to do? Me?
49:22🔗
Caller
As you is. Love Line, Fast Grown Outlaw Radio, North America. This close to dropping Trout.
49:38🔗
Caller
Let's say this, Brooke Burns, hot, hot, hot. I tell you, that's a show, boy. Got them gals jumping in a tank this close to dropping trowel. Drew, I tell you.
50:07🔗
Caller
Even though you've actually never seen me drop trowel. I'm in charge of the Hyman judging competition.
50:59🔗
Adam
Yeah, like I would like to do a lot of this criminal behavior, but I just don't have the energy.
51:04🔗
Drew
The only reason the receiving issue is viable for you because you sit and receive pressure.
51:23🔗
Adam
No, I mean, I'm all right with blondes, but Drew, Drew, that is right in his sweet spot.
52:12🔗
Yeah.
52:13🔗
It was completely gone after the first.
52:18🔗
When does it come back?
52:28🔗
Not right now, but I was.
52:30🔗
Prozac.
52:35🔗
Ruined it.
52:36🔗
Drew
Yeah, that may have had you quite shut down. Some gynecologists will put people on the birth control pill of ways to try to stabilize the hormonal environment and give you something back. And women are very sensitive to the biological environment. Not a lot is made of this, but tremendously sensitive. And after pregnancy, you've been exposed to a huge dose of progesterone and even massive changes in your biology.
52:59🔗
Drew
And then let down afterwards, and that's where some of the depressions come from. But also there can be changes in your sex drive and uh-oh.
53:25🔗
You're right.
53:26🔗
Adam
You got two low batteries. We're gonna try to keep you on long enough to hear that chirp again. Do you have a smoke detector in your house?
53:35🔗
Well I'm not in there. I'm in the car.
53:50🔗
Yeah, he's hating it.
53:58🔗
It kind of sucks because I never want to put out.
54:13🔗
Adam
He says he doesn't care. I know, this is crazy. Women do this all the time. They decide we're not into them because they put on some weight or done something. We'll decide when we're not into you. I know, but. Actually, I mean, I'll decide and then I'll tell him.
54:42🔗
Drew
All right, Michelle, look. Talk to your gynecologist. Sometimes something as simple as going on the birth control pill will get things started again. And certainly stay off the serotonin reuptake and himming medication. Those are the ones that.
54:55🔗
Drew
Change the level of circulating hormones. Of the medicines that are sort of okay for sex drive. Serosone, Remeron, Welbutrin and maybe Lexapro.
55:09🔗
Caller
I always like to say that I have a trainer, but she's two and a half feet tall. So having a three year old and doing it on your own keeps you in great shape because you're constantly running, squatting, lifting.
55:24🔗
Caller
No, I mean I do a lot of stuff. Swimming, dancing, still, and that kind of thing. I find for women, or for me, I don't like using any kind of weight over like a five pound weight for me because I like to stay with the whole long and lean thing as opposed to things that are hard on your joints or getting too bulky, especially being on television and stuff, so.
55:44🔗
Adam
Yeah, I tell you what's hard on the joint is watching that dog eat dog. I'm not going to have broken that skimpy outfit, Dr. Drouf.
56:10🔗
Adam
You're not going to put out one of those crappy videos, are you? Do people want you to put out a video?
56:22🔗
Caller
It's not fair, being young and having a child and then obviously, you know, genetically, it's so hard.
56:35🔗
Adam
It's not about putting slices of cucumber over your eyes when you go to bed or lifting bleach jugs filled with water, right? No, nonsense, you're hot, cause that's the way God did it. And other women, God punished, he punishes those. Maybe they're evil, maybe their parents did something wrong. Other women were punished, you were blessed.
56:55🔗
Caller
I found that the happier you are in life, and that means across the board, emotionally and spiritually and everything, and the more you get out there and just enjoy life, your body will actually come to a place that it's happy being and it'll stabilize.
57:09🔗
Adam
That's gonna be a nice BS for the front of the video. When we go on the tour, that's the kind of BS I want to hear when we go on and plug the video.
57:15🔗
Caller
But it's true that people who obsess about it, I've been around dancers all my life, models, actors, these are all women who constantly struggle.
57:24🔗
Adam
Right, no, no, it's true. It is true that when people are sort of, I always just call it have a puss on, but when people are sort of in a general, some people are in a perpetual state of dissatisfaction and they start looking physically like they just bit it.
57:41🔗
Adam
You know what they look like? They look like when you take a swig out of something in the refrigerator, you think it's iced tea and it's buttermilk and you got that face on. They walk around that way, marginally less attractive, but you could think horrible, horrible thoughts, like just vile, racist, horrible thoughts all day and you'd still be hot. That's what I'm saying. Drew, you with me?
58:10🔗
Adam
But still, a video wouldn't be bad, just one, just one. Jessica? You're 19? What's going on?
58:32🔗
Drew
Yeah. No, no, it's because she's listening somewhere where she's hearing last night's show.
58:55🔗
Adam
Have you not seen those show where those idiots who look good in bathing suits are dunked in tanks? Why, what are you doing?
59:15🔗
Caller
Okay, my question is, why do I get so horny like right before my period? Like I, like right before my period.
59:43🔗
Drew
Jessica, and some women have an increase in sex drive with the androgenic effects of progesterone. It has a testosterone-like effect. Really? For some women, it completely shuts them down, shuts them off. This is the great, men do not have this sort of diversity response to their sex hormones. It's one direction. It's just the volumes up or down. In women, there's all these differences of response. Some women, for instance, if you were to take the progesterone shot, you know, the Depo Provera, you'd probably be kind of horny all the time. And some women take that shot and they're depressed and shut down the entire time.
1:00:23🔗
Adam
Well, some may become more sexual. All right, so you get a little whipped up around your period. That's a fine double edged sword for your man.
1:00:33🔗
Drew
It's interesting. I don't know of any evidence to support that. But yeah, I would think that women that responded to androgens would be sort of more masculine like in their sexual orientation.
1:00:43🔗
Adam
All right, you have a boyfriend? He does. And he does, you do. So does he, he- Does he mind having sex with you around the period? You get it on?
1:01:17🔗
Caller
Like really big and I like it a lot. I was wondering like if there's like a pill, like you can-
1:01:23🔗
Drew
Yes, again, being on a birth control pill sometimes, it depends on the mix and the hormones.
1:01:34🔗
Adam
Yeah, we got that. All right, I don't know if that's just beat off or vomit. I'm not sure what to do. Bouncy, bouncy. I'd have to take a look at you, Jessica. Oh. That Bostonian accent is unattractive though. I gotta say. Yeah, it's horrible. What is? The Bostonian dialect.
1:01:52🔗
Adam
That's all right, she's got a guy, she's getting sacked, she's all swollen. No, you're hot, right? Are you?
1:02:05🔗
Adam
You know what I've realized, I'm putting a theory together about people and it took me a while to realize that almost everyone from not so much New England but Boston are wise asses. Now, I'm putting this, I put it together because I've been exposed to a lot of these guys recently and I remember, it all dawned on me a few years ago when the Rams were playing New England in the Super Bowl and I was out in New Orleans and as we know, New England had their sort of miraculous victory and as I was walking around seeing all the guys that were celebrating, all the Bostonian guys and New Englanders who were celebrating, they were much more interested in finding out who the Rams fans were and punishing them. They had no real interest in the actual celebration part. It was more about seeking out guys, finding out if they were into the Rams and attempting to punish them. And then I started thinking about all, I've met a lot of new guys from this part of the world and I've realized they're smarter than other people, which makes them dangerous. It really is.
1:03:15🔗
Adam
No, they're actually smarter. I mean, when you're dealing, like when you're working in the blue collar world and you're out here in Los Angeles, you're dealing with just guys who have sawdust in their head. I mean, you're dealing with some of the stupidest guys in the world. I've worked with them my whole life.
1:03:37🔗
Adam
They're just the stupidest guys you ever want to meet. They just really are. The Bostonian blue collar guys, they're a little bit smarter and they all have a little bit of a F with Eugene that's in them. They like to jab, they like to spar verbally.
1:03:51🔗
Drew
I went to school in New England and I noticed that you could talk to a guy who was a homeless person and he will have read the paper. You'll have an opinion about what's going on in the world that day and you can't find that person in Los Angeles. No, in Los Angeles.
1:04:09🔗
Adam
It's a combination, but you're not gonna have a conversation with the guy who's parking your car, washing your car or building your house.
1:04:21🔗
Adam
Yeah, anyway, but they're a-holes most of them. They use their intellectual power for evil. That's what they do. And she was, and the women don't normally have this in spades like the guys do, but that was a Bostonian chick who liked to, they got a little bit of a sailor mouth and they liked it like the spa, verbally, or spas, they would say verbally.
1:04:58🔗
Adam
More social and not looking for an angle. Here's the deal. The East Coast, when they meet a new person and they size them up, they're looking for an opening. They're looking for an angle. Looking for something. Now, people that I've met from more the middle of the country and Texas especially, they're just more, they're not looking, they're looking for an angle, but sort of a happy angle. They want to know, what do you do? Oh, I put on siding. Oh, that sounds nice, you know?
1:05:31🔗
Adam
Yeah, where the Boston guy's like, yeah, how about you side your Vega you pulled up in, you putz, and they just start abusing you immediately. Yeah, see, Texas is nice.
1:05:43🔗
Adam
West Coast is a tough mix, because you got a lot of Hispanics here who are just sort of, they're not interested in anything, they got their own culture, you know.
1:05:52🔗
Adam
Oh, they just work, yeah, but they don't. They work hard. No, they work hard, and they're not really, they don't want to ask you what went on. They don't want to talk current events, you know. They're busy working hard, yeah. Yeah, and you got your whole sort of the mishmash Asian thing in there, which is the same thing with the Spanish. They're just working hard. They're just Korean, Vietnamese. They're just doing their own thing. I mean, look at it this way. You live in Los Angeles. You don't talk to anybody because there's a language barrier oftentimes. And this is not racist at all, but you pull into the mini market. You're not talking, chatting with the 45 year old Korean woman behind the counter about what else is going on.
1:06:31🔗
Drew
She oftentimes there's a Well, the reason she ever answered you is she doesn't understand.
1:06:39🔗
Adam
The guy, the guy who parks your car, you're not talking to. You're not talking to many of the people you come across in Los Angeles and then the ones that you do can talk. And usually just the top two or three percent of a-holes from around the country have come over here to do something. So they're very much into whatever they're doing. They don't, they don't have time. So this is a horrible place to live socially. Socially bad.
1:07:20🔗
Adam
Once in a while, a jewel like you comes out from Texas and sheds a little light on the dreary landscape here.
1:07:48🔗
Adam
And I'll tell you, it's a talent cavalcade that just doesn't stop. I mean, it's a train. It's the brakes are shot and it's just rolling down the track.
1:08:01🔗
Adam
Two guys I found delightful, but one guy I didn't care about. Peter Gallagher, who just turns out to be the nicest guy in show business. And Adam Brody's turns out to be a swell guy, too. Both from the OC showing us how they do it in the OC. I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew, Adam Brody here tonight, Peter Gallagher here tonight, both from the OC on Fox. At 9 o'clock, they're going to hang out with us for this one last break. And they're nice enough to do that because they were just going to stay for the first hour, but we got too caught up in Danielle. We couldn't say proper goodbyes to the boys.
1:08:42🔗
Drew
Right. And nor did we finish with Danielle, which was, again, this is a horrible choice as a young person, getting yourself involved in very chaotic relationships, sexual identity confusion, and needs help. I mean, she really does. The basic advice we would give you is cool down, stop having relations with anybody for a couple of years. Thank God she doesn't, clearly, fairly clear doesn't have the gene for addiction or just explode.
1:09:05🔗
Adam
But what do you do when you're from where Danielle's from, you have big boobs and the fellas like you?
1:09:14🔗
Adam
And daddy's sleeping on a army cot on the service porch after he pulls the rig in every four months. I mean, you just, you should find Jesus Christ. Should you, should you just get immersed in softball? I mean, you just, you got to Danielle, people like Danielle have to get involved with stuff at school and just stay with it. And Drew, a new twist on you punching the mic, yeah, Drew whacked it with his glasses this time. He usually doesn't use a tool. He's like primitive man. Now he's, now he's entered a new age where he's actually using tools against his foe. What the deuce? The microphone. Yes. So Danielle, please. Don't get pregnant. That's what you need not to do. Let's move forward. We got a question for Adam Brody here. Tanya.
1:10:11🔗
I have a question for Adam.
1:10:13🔗
Caller
I was wondering, I read somewhere that you ad-lib a lot of your lines as Seth, and I was just wondering if, how much of you is actually infused into the character of Seth now as opposed to the beginning of the series?
1:10:27🔗
Caller
He's a lot more like me now, just, but more, less from me, you know, throwing lines in and then, you know, Josh, the creator of the show, he's, you know, become a good friend of all the cast and he knows us really well, so he writes, everyone I think has become more like their characters.
1:10:45🔗
Caller
No, he's just from Providence. He went to USC, I guess there's a lot on Newport, he's only 27, he's kind of on the show, I guess he was the youngest kid I would have at drama. Wow. But anyways, he knows us really well, so he ends up writing a lot of the stuff we say just naturally, it's kind of like Easter egg hunt, you'll flip through the script and you'll just see things that you didn't know he was going to, you weren't even talking about characters, you were talking about music or something and he just throws it in the script. That's great, everyone, that happens to everyone.
1:11:14🔗
Caller
He either writes, I mean he's executive producer slash writer, so I mean he has a hand, he sometimes, there's a team of writers but he's always in the hand.
1:11:22🔗
Caller
Sometimes he writes an episode from beginning to end and he has his hand in I think every episode.
1:11:59🔗
Caller
Actually, I got a question for Dr. Drew. When I was seven years old, I had a brain tumor, so I'm kind of disabled.
1:12:17🔗
Caller
I'm legally blind and legally deaf. And you can probably tell by my voice, too, you know.
1:12:38🔗
Adam
How do you get to be legally deaf, because I'd like to go for that. What's the test like? I mean, we're conversing over the telephone. You seem fine.
1:12:49🔗
Caller
Well, see, I can't hear anything out of my left ear, and I'm talking to you with my right ear.
1:12:57🔗
Adam
Deaf in your left ear, and legally blind pretty much means you can see stuff, but you can't get your driver's license?
1:13:19🔗
Drew
Medullobastoma, okay. Those are in the cerebellum, usually, right? So Adam picked up my mic sock and had it.
1:13:26🔗
Adam
Yeah, your bad influence on the kids. These OC kids, especially, they're very impressionable.
1:13:36🔗
Adam
Drew, are you a real doctor or just a love doctor? All right, so they took it out, yeah?
1:13:43🔗
Adam
Right, and because of the tumor, you have the problem with the seeing and the hearing.
1:14:00🔗
Caller
Yes, I had radiation and chemotherapy and that's where my question comes from. The doctors have been saying, I haven't been tested yet, but the doctor has been saying I might not be able to have kids because of all the chemotherapy and radiation.
1:14:22🔗
Caller
It stopped my spines from growing when I was seven. So, I was wondering if that had anything to do with the reason why I have a small penis.
1:14:32🔗
Drew
Yeah, it sounds like everything kind of stunted at that point. Did you ever see an endocrinologist?
1:14:39🔗
Drew
Make sure the pituitary is functioning normally because that's sort of the main gland in your body that drives the rest of them.
1:15:19🔗
Adam
Yeah. He wanted to... Yeah, I begged you to stay away from the penis, but you couldn't help it. You went right to the underpants. All right, so you're four hard.
1:15:32🔗
Adam
I could do damage with four. To me, it's a small blade, but I still kill a man. I mean a woman. Well, you know what I'm saying.
1:15:40🔗
Adam
Yeah, you got to hit the jugular. You can't hit the fatty tissue and I can't hit the butt cheek or anything like that. You got to go right. You got to pierce the ribs.
1:15:48🔗
Adam
That's why I call myself the butcher. They call me the baker, the candlestick maker. So Michael, how tall are you? Not your penis.
1:16:10🔗
Caller
I do, but it's thin because of the radiation it fell out of because of the chemotherapy and all.
1:16:28🔗
Adam
Oh, when you jack off. Okay, good. So it's not like your fountain. You just walk around like a rain bird all day just to.
1:16:41🔗
Drew
Oh, thank Christ. So what you need is a sperm count to see if there's a potential for fertility. So you're making semen normally, you have sexual functioning and that will remain to be seen, I guess.
1:16:57🔗
Adam
Hey, Michael. Here's what you got to focus on, performing oral sex. Not on yourself, but on the ladies. You get good at that, all is forgiven. Okay, so focus on that. Don't talk to your doctors about that. That'll be our little secret.
1:17:15🔗
Drew
But bring this up to the doctors. It's totally appropriate for you to be talking about these issues with them and now it's just fine. Yeah. So back to the endocrinologist and see what, get an assessment and see if there's anything further they need to do, which probably not, it sounds like things are functioning well.
1:17:27🔗
Adam
And with technology the way it is these days, you'll be able to have kids one way or the other.
1:17:34🔗
Adam
No, but what I'm saying is, is you find a woman, you're in love, you want to start a family, there's some problem with your sperm count, you borrow a little from your brother or Dr. Drew, whatever, you buy a little on the internet, it's all good. Okay, buddy.
1:18:10🔗
Adam
Yeah, it is, but there's a certain breed of chick that'll go for that. And if you find that, you're in great shape. You got to find one. Yeah, all right. Get involved with some of those groups and do that stuff and just go to school and be a biologist. You'll be fine.
1:18:41🔗
Caller
First off, your show is great. There's not much great TV anymore. It's a great show. I love it.
1:18:47🔗
Caller
Thanks for that. I was wondering what you think about playing somebody so much younger than you really are.
1:18:57🔗
Caller
Sorry. I was just wondering how much of it is your idea of what a 17-year-old guy is and what the script is.
1:19:07🔗
Caller
I mean, you know, it's probably more the script. I mean, for the most part, I have to say, I end up playing him kind of... I'm 23 and I end up playing him more like me, but in high school, I play him a little bit more... A little bit smarter and a little bit more literate than I actually was at 17. But I just think that's for the benefit of all the viewers.
1:19:30🔗
Caller
Most. Nisha's on our show. She's Barton. She's playing 17. She is 17. But in general, and that has to do more with, I mean, I think the working laws and if you're under 18, they can't work you quite as long.
1:19:43🔗
Adam
I'm just saying, like, if you turn on a TV show, there'll be some 15 year old guy who will like pull a switchblade on another kid and go like, man, I don't even know you anymore. And it's like when you're really 15, you're like, right.
1:20:00🔗
Caller
Which is why, you know, I think it I think it works fine. I do feel to answer your question, though, I do feel sometimes I don't mind. And then sometimes I just feel ridiculous. Like when we're sometimes we'll go to a location to a real school and I, you know, I strap on a backpack and I'm like lowering like at these short drinking fountains and I just, you know, I just feel ridiculous. But other times when I'm walking around the house and it I don't even, you know, it's fine.
1:20:21🔗
Adam
Listen, when that check shows up, you don't feel so bad anymore, yes? Yeah. All right, we'll be back.
1:21:07🔗
Adam
Like, I mean, above and, like, let's say, your worst case scenario is like insane clown posse. Sexually, yes?
1:21:21🔗
Adam
All right, and here's why they made the list. Hey everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew, David Jade, both here from AFI. Dear, dear friends, AFI, in studio tonight. Drew was just talking during the break about wanting to do some more crank yanker calls and the guys were sitting here from AFI, I think listening with half a ear, probably wondering what Drew was talking about. And I just thought this would be a good time to hear with the new season of crank anchors going in. It would be a good time to hear Drew's crank call where he hipped it up for the kids. This is-
1:22:00🔗
Adam
Well, yeah, me and Drew did one as Adam and Drew from Loveline, but we put a little different spin on it. We told this kid that we're calling him and we're putting a tape together because we're trying to get the show back on MTV. But MTV told Drew, he had to be a little more urban, a little more with it in order to get on TV. So Drew got a little, he skewed a little younger and a little more urban during this call.
1:23:07🔗
Adam
So Bo, what we're doing here is we're putting together a tape for MTV because we're trying to get the show back on the air.
1:23:16🔗
Adam
And we're going to have Drew kind of hip it up a little, be a little more urban, okay?
1:23:23🔗
Adam
So let's just take it like a regular Loveline call and we'll just start at the beginning. Bo, 18, you're on Loveline. What's your problem?
1:23:34🔗
Drew
But why don't you got no play, playa? I don't know. So you ain't hitting the skins. Motherfucker. You undoubtedly are looking to get the throbbing guzzle. You see what I'm saying? In the meantime, you're sitting in the hissy by yourself, thinking about a little aryo, a little palooza action. In the meantime, your dong ain't doing shit. Hey, look, we heard when the call picked up, you got all those shorties running around there. You gotta get out there and get your bitch spunk drunk. You feeling me at your church? If you had a hissy, you would be out of the house. House. I'm telling you, nigga, that it would put you into the mode where you would have no problem to get that freaky shit going. 24-7 Flowin Seamen here in your house. And no hissy, for chizzy.
1:24:21🔗
Drew
So I don't have to use all that freaky, tore up the ass, Ariel LaPaluza, Muff Yo Tang, Throbbin Guzzle, crap in the ass shit, right?
1:24:30🔗
Drew
Look, motherfucker, I'm telling you, don't be a player hater, because when you tap her in the ass, you ain't going to be interested in pistol robbing no more, and the digit is Dizzle, and in the hissy for cheesy, you're going to be great on the QT for real.
1:24:46🔗
Adam
Peace out. We wrote it all down on these Marks a Lot boards and held it in front of them, reporting.
1:25:10🔗
Adam
Drew, you come up with a good idea. We'll get you back on this season. Listen, you wanted to do Crank Calls last season. And I came up with all the ideas. Now you come up with a good one and we'll do it.
1:25:52🔗
Caller
First off, I have to say, Adam, you're the sexiest person I've ever seen. And I love AFIU, the guys that inspired me to actually start a band and everything like that. So I love you guys. You guys are coming to Fresno next Wednesday, so I'm definitely going to be there. My problem is me and my boyfriend, we try to have sex. And I want to know if it's physically impossible not to have intercourse. And I think it's all because of me.
1:26:25🔗
Caller
No, like we try and like he barely puts his head in and it really hurts. Like there's like a shooting pain.
1:26:47🔗
Caller
We've done it, we've tried it, like we've been trying at least like maybe four times a week for the past two months and it doesn't seem to ease up or anything.
1:26:56🔗
Adam
God bless you for having that kind of dog determination. Four times a week for two months and no sale? Drew, ask the regular question.
1:27:17🔗
Drew
Have you had a pelvic exam recently? Yes. Do you still have a Hyman? Do you still have a Hyman?
1:27:39🔗
Drew
Maybe there's a difficulty rupturing the Hyman. That's something that can happen sometimes.
1:28:02🔗
Adam
Oh, but he is. Oh, sweet. That's nice. You mean it's skinny or he's skinny? He's extremely thin, but he's got a big sternum log between his legs, right?
1:28:21🔗
Adam
See, I'm a little hippie and it kind of... Well, anyway, that's not good. Maybe the Heim is there.
1:28:30🔗
Drew
Well, finally then, were you sexually abused or is there a reason you'd be having sort of a physical reaction to this? I have been. Yeah.
1:28:58🔗
Caller
Well, he's from Mexico and he came up to visit and it was the first time ever meeting him and that happened. The police had come to him and he was already dead.
1:29:07🔗
Adam
I didn't know he was from another culture. We can't judge. We cannot judge. There's only different. There's, it's not better, it's not worse, just different. We can't judge. I thought he was, I thought he was an American guy. Yeah. If he's from Mexico, we can't judge. That's a, that's a country that's rich in tradition. That's true, rich in tradition. You don't know.
1:29:40🔗
Adam
That's too bad. I wish there was something worse than that. Okay. So have you got any therapy for this?
1:30:07🔗
Adam
So your parents knew about it, but they found out what happened and they got you some help?
1:30:27🔗
Adam
Great grandfather? But in Mexico, and again, we can't we can't judge, but we can't judge. We just can't judge. It was his late thirties at the time, right?
1:31:15🔗
Adam
Yeah. She needed counseling a few seconds ago. Now she needs to be put in a straight jacket and actually physically taken off the streets. OK, so Cynthia, this is a from your great grandfather. I don't know. Your great grandfather is like a historical. It's like Abe Lincoln molesting you or something. Historical figure molesting you. That's not as bad. I mean, well, it's not. I mean, look, here's the thing. If your dad, if your dad molest you, that's that's worse. I mean, that's the worst thing going to happen.
1:31:54🔗
Adam
Great grandfather. Yeah. That starts to slide. It starts to slide out of the family at a certain point.
1:32:01🔗
Adam
How effed up do you got to be to have a, I mean, as a great grandfather, have a go with your six or seven year old.
1:32:10🔗
Drew
To make people do that. Yeah. They were sexually abused themselves. It changes the wiring in the brain. It makes things attractive that shouldn't be.
1:32:17🔗
Adam
All right. Hey, but good times. Sexual and attractive. And again, again, whether it's a genital mutilation going on in the Middle East or parts of Africa or the rampant sexual molestations going on in the Mexican culture, we cannot judge. We can't judge. It's important not to judge. We cannot judge. Everything is the same.
1:32:43🔗
Adam
They're rice based cinnamon flavored beverages. Just as good, just as good as a Coke. We cannot judge. Middle East with their yogurt based beverages. Again, just as good as a Sprite. Cannot judge. We cannot. You understand? Everything's the same. Got it? Got it. Everything. We're going to take a quick break. AFI is here and we'll be right back.
1:33:11🔗
Best Of
Here's the deal. Sick of wasting time with the wrong person? One call is all you need to make.
1:33:17🔗
Caller
Call the Dateline. 877-889-DATE. Love Line with Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew. 1-800-LOVE-191.
1:33:46🔗
Caller
Bye Well, that's the show, but what a week we have playing, Drew. I mean, we got names like Pink, we got Jack Black, and Jimmy Kimmel. ACED coming in here.
1:34:16🔗
Caller
He's dead to me. So, until next time, this is Adam Carolla for Dr. Drew, saying mahalo.
1:34:25🔗
Caller
This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or this station. The producer for Loveline is Annie Gold. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.