1:39🔗DrewNo, that's when you get in the shower. That's how we work it around here. Josh, just to act as a witness for the crowd, when did I show up to this show?
2:00🔗DrewExecutive producer. Now, the show's been, well, some of the, Sarah Silverman, dear, dear friend, did it. And is, is, is, and then it was a big deal, this big poker tournament that they had just a few months back. And it seems like-
2:15🔗DrewYeah, poker's been around for three, 500 years, a thousand years. I don't know how long it's been, but it got hot in the last six to eight months.
2:23🔗Joshua MalinaIt's hot, hot, hot. Like Ugg Boots.
2:32🔗DrewYeah, and I, you know, I started to think, and it's become, well, all you gotta do is get a couple of hip people to do it, and you're in. Like, you know, remember, it just struck me, like about six, seven years ago, cigars.
2:53🔗Joshua MalinaI'm hoping that we'll have more staying power than the cigar.
2:56🔗AdamWell, so. We'd all come together, cigar and poker.
2:59🔗DrewWell, it's smart. It's a good idea for showing that celebrities, most celebrities I know love to gamble, love to play cards, love to compete that way. They're not, they don't like to go out and play a high lie or rugby or anything, but they do like to sit around and throw the cards around. And for years, there's been a lot of these games floating around town anyway. There's a lot of John Favreau and Sarah Silver and Jimmy Kimmel plays in them. They all, everyone but me really, but they all, you know why I don't get to play in them, Drew?
3:32🔗DrewThey all start up about 10, 20, 10, 30, and they start ramping down about the time I get there. Yeah, someone said, what time should we play cards? I don't know, what time's Corolla on the air? All right, we'll call it 10. Good, meet at my house.
3:45🔗AdamI have a bunch of questions about this show though. How long does it take to get down to the one person?
3:49🔗Joshua MalinaIt varies, it varies. It's an hour long, each episode is an hour long. We've designed the tournament to last between two and two and a half hours, but we've had ones that last an hour and 45 minutes and we've had ones that lasted over three hours. So it varies.
4:03🔗AdamIt seems like it would take like six hours. You start with six people.
4:06🔗Joshua MalinaBut what happens is there are forced bets in every hand called a blind. It's like an ante, and the blinds go up every 20 minutes. So it's sort of an escalating thing where it costs you a certain amount of money to play each hand, and it sort of grinds you down and leads towards one winner.
4:22🔗Joshua MalinaThere's money to be made by charities. Each celebrity is playing for his or her favorite charity. Singular Wireless put up a quarter of a million dollars. And the top prize is a hundred grand.
4:32🔗DrewI know charity is great and everything, but does that make it legal? Like, hey, I'm smoking hash for the March of Dines. Yeah, all the Coke, this kilo, I'm selling a kilo. All of it, almost all of it. Once I pay off my mules, once I pay the mules off and scrape a little off top for myself and step on it, a little baby.
4:58🔗DrewHere's the whole thing about gambling is it's become such a joke in terms of its legality. Like this whole like, hey, play the lotto, play the ponies, play pie gal poker. Blackjack, that's morally wrong.
5:11🔗AdamI'm gonna tell you something, a piece of our own history is gonna blow your mind. We on this show will gamble once in a while over people's past, what is it about their past that renders them the way they are in the present? And we'll just make bets on what they are. We proposed that for the TV show some six years ago. We were told, oh no, no, no gambling on TV. Remember that? We can't show a picture of you gambling.
5:31🔗DrewYeah, and it was always like, we're just playing for a dollar. No, no, no, no, no gambling.
5:36🔗DrewI think they just thought, by the way, I do from doing the Man Show and doing Loveline, all that stuff, I do realize that three quarters of the stuff they said they couldn't do, they just thought it was a lame idea. I got a bit called Ask Adam. Oh, well we can't do that.
5:54🔗DrewWe're not allowed to use ask, sorry. Let's move on. Yeah, so Drew, those were probably just lame ideas. That they said we couldn't do. But is it, you know, I find it sort of insulting that one can't gamble on football, at least in this state, but you're finding courses. Yeah, the lottery, for instance. To me, that's a retarded form of gambling. Yeah, and I agree. It's inconsistent at best. And whenever the government does that sort of inconsistent thing, they lose their constituency. People stop paying attention to the rules. You can't expect people to not do something because it's wrong. And then go ahead and do state-sponsored gambling, essentially. And the worst kind of gambling, by the way, just random, throw your money at a fan, see if it lands somewhere good.
6:55🔗Joshua MalinaIt's only 45 minutes from Broadway.
6:57🔗DrewI got this theory, which is like, see, Drew's from Southern California. I'm from Southern California. We don't own any card games because only the Jews, only the Jews know card games, right? They love cards. They don't like going outside. It's like a fair with the sweat and the flies. No, we'll go inside. We'll have a nice nosh and we'll play some cards.
7:18🔗DrewBut the Gentiles out here don't own any card games because we have something that's called the Sun.
7:24🔗Joshua MalinaYes, they're out playing badminton and whatnot.
7:26🔗DrewYes, we're frolicking. My childhood was spent just playing a ditch and smear the queer and it's feeding the crap out of people are hitting them in the street. Yeah, just out, out, pick up games. And you'd go from football to baseball to basketball. But all the guys I know now who are from Buffalo, they'd be like, all right, we're going to play night baseball or black Anaconda. And I'd be like, oh, whoa, whoa, whoa. I thought we, what about just, you know, high, low or five cards? And they all have a thousand games because I realize they spent the better part of each year in a basement playing high, playing, playing Anaconda or night baseball or guts or something like this. Do you know all these games?
8:07🔗Joshua MalinaI do know all those games, but I shun them. I'm more of a purist. I'm a no limit Texas Hold'em, I think is the ultimate. That's what we play on our show. It's sort of the ultimate bluffers game. Is it sort of more interesting?
8:18🔗Joshua MalinaIt's actually, it's a variation on seven card stud in which everybody has two whole cards and then ultimately five common cards in the middle. But unlike regular seven card stud where you sort of learn more information about each person's hand, because you see their up cards, all you ever learn about what your opponents have is what they're implying with their bets. So kind of the ultimate psychological poker game.
8:35🔗DrewYeah, and it's really, it's tough when the stakes really get up there to stay in. I am personally not an unlucky person, but cursed. I look at myself as cursed when it comes to gambling. I've lost just about every hand of 21 I've played over the last four years. And here's how I really knew I was cursed. Drew, I believe I told you this story, but we were checking into the hotel down in the lobby, the casino, and Daniel Kellison, who was executive producer of The Man Show, who's addicted to gambling as well as alcohol and everything else. He said, and I don't know what it is about some guys who when you tell them, I don't want to gamble, they insist, now you got to gamble. And it's like, it's not because I'm a puss, it's just because I really don't win, you know? And he's like, come on, I'm trying to check into the hotel and he says, just give me a hundred bucks, I'll put a hundred bucks up, I'll go play a hand of blackjack, one hand. I lose, he goes, yeah, but I win, I'm good at this. I said, I'll curse you. He said, no, no, I said, just stop bothering me. Here's a hundred dollars, but just one hand. I'm not going to show up, we're not going to let it ride, we're not going to parlay it or anything. Just one hand, here's a hundred dollars, just go gamble. And he come back either with 200 or with nothing, fine, he leaves, comes back 10 minutes later, it's like, what happened there, Daniel? Well, we got a blackjack dealt to us. Oh really, really one hand, just a one hand blackjack. Where's the money? Well, the dealer dealt himself a blackjack too. So it was a push. And then what happened next? We busted. Okay, great. So I got blackjack, I said, play one hand, play one hand and only one hand. And I got an ace and a king dealt to me. Not gonna work. Not good enough. I needed 21 and a half. Does there any more example of knowing that you're like, in what universe do you play just one hand and get blackjack and any? No, you're not walking with that money.
10:33🔗AdamBut also that blackjack included the non-instruction to your money handler. There's one where he could excuse himself by playing another hand.
10:41🔗DrewYes, yes. Yeah, if it's a, I didn't tell him if it's a push. Right. All right. So anyway, bravo at nine o'clock on Tuesday nights. And also, of course, the West Wing, nine o'clock on Wednesdays.
10:57🔗DrewOh yeah, I saw the, saw the promos for that. Now is that out of Vegas? That's in Vegas.
11:01🔗Joshua MalinaYeah, we shot it in Vegas at the Palms.
11:03🔗DrewSweet. Man, they must love that. It's great. You know, it's one cool thing about Vegas and all the casinos and stuff. They want to play ball. They're not interested in pretending like they don't do what they do for a living.
11:16🔗Joshua MalinaNo, they were happy to have us.
11:17🔗DrewAll right, let's go to the phones. We'll talk to Ashlyn. Ashlyn?
11:21🔗CallerYeah. What's up? Nothing, how are you guys?
11:26🔗CallerI just wanted to let y'all know that I think y'all are great. And my question is that I have a boyfriend and I recently just moved back to Texas from Santa Barbara. My mom lives there and he, my boyfriend still lives there. But we visit each other every couple of months and when we have sex, we don't use a condom. But I don't allow him to come inside me because I heard about the pre-come, you know? I was wondering if there was really any difference, like if we have sex with him.
12:01🔗AdamYes, you're more likely if he comes inside you, but some guys emit a highly potent fluid before he ejaculates.
12:08🔗CallerYep. Because, I mean, I really like for him, like to...
12:12🔗DrewMine's an acid that dissolves the vagina so I can get easier access.
12:32🔗AdamJust tell her 100%. Here's the one time it's not 100% if you're overweight. More and more pill failures.
12:38🔗DrewBut then it's fine. Cause the guy just wants a oral anyway. He just wants a BJ.
12:41🔗CallerWell, yeah, you know. But also I have another question. With the birth control, like if I don't take it at the same time of day, like every day.
13:25🔗DrewThey sleep over someone's house, they go out partying, they get drunk, they crash on a friend's sofa, they don't have their birth control pill.
13:33🔗DrewShould you, yeah. You should, shouldn't you? I mean, no one does that, but shouldn't you? You know what it's like? You know, remember all these guys who wore contact lenses? Yeah. It was always a big deal. Like, hey, buddy, just, no, my contact lenses. Why don't you got any extra solution? No, it's not, I gotta drive home. Yeah, but you're drunk, you're bleeding, you live in Arizona. I know, I gotta head out. It's like, how about you spend three bucks and get some saline thrown in the trunk of your car or something. So, shouldn't a woman keep a thing in her purse or keep another one in the medicine cabinet? Would it be a good idea to get a couple going or is there gonna be confusion now?
14:13🔗AdamYeah, and also the triphasic pills, you have to kind of take the right ones. So, I just know where you are in the packet, but have we ever asked a question of somebody about what they're taking? Not only that, not only what they're taking, they have no idea what day they're on or whether they're on the sugar rise or not.
14:52🔗DrewI just think, like every Jewish kid I knew had braces, wore braces, and I don't think it's because they needed them. I think it's because they had concerned parents who knew an orthodontist and they had a couple bucks. And they did it.
15:04🔗Joshua MalinaBefore there was a problem with the braces.
15:05🔗DrewWhereas I got guys from the valleys, I got teeth growing out of their nostrils and stuff. They're like, kid's fine, helps him eat better. I got guys with fangs and stuff. But it was like, I'm not gonna spend, I'm getting a big screen TV and I spent 1300 bucks in this kid's mouth. I'm just gonna punch him out later anyway. All right. I know a guy who wore braces for like six years and got them off and two days after he got them off got hit with a baseball bat in the mouth. And I mean, it's the kind of thing, full swing bat, bat broke when sailing in the business end, right in the mouth. Braces went right back on.
16:37🔗CallerI wanna know why I bleed when I have sex with my boyfriend.
16:42🔗AdamAre you on the birth control pill? Do you have regular periods? Have you ever had an ovarian cyst or anything like that? Are you overweight? That can be a reason to sort of cause a little bit of instability in the lining of the uterus. So it may just be that. And some people just have a little bleeding every time they have sex, it just stimulates some bleeding. Doesn't necessarily mean a darn thing.
17:44🔗DrewI don't know. But the radio math doesn't lie. That doesn't lie. It doesn't lie. They lie about the height because if you're 4 and 150, as opposed to 7 and 150, you're better off. Hey, Becky? But you're calling from Wisconsin, so you're considered a waif, right? It's like you have an eating disorder. All right, baby doll. Will you keep going with that diet?
18:07🔗AdamAnd don't worry about this. It's not a big thing.
18:09🔗DrewYeah. Start the diet after the holidays. Yeah? It didn't take much. Let's see. Oh, it's time to play Germany or Florida. Tell Josh how the game is played. It's sweeping. This may be your next Bravo show. Bring it on. It's all bizarre, macabre, death and crime and everything that's weird comes out of Germany. Deviant. Deviant crimes and behavior. It's either Germany or Florida. Interesting. It's a different kinds of crime and you'll see it will become more clear. But there's crime everywhere but not the kind of weird stuff that they have in Germany or Florida. So they tell us the situation we guess Germany or Florida.
19:22🔗Germany or Florida. This man is at his apartment huffing butane and he gets some munchies and has nothing in his apartment to eat, so he cuts off his toes, fries them up, and eats them on a sandwich.
19:37🔗AdamNice. Good time. That is a classic Germany or Florida, you see? Now, the whole sausage sort of quality of this, snacks of Germany.
19:46🔗DrewYeah, the huffing of butane felt a little like Florida, but then, yeah, but then, cutting his toes off and frying them up, and we'll put them on a roll. Was it a Kaiser roll?
19:57🔗You know, the story didn't actually say what kind of bread it was.
20:38🔗DrewYeah, you can't hear whether it's Germany or Florida. Yeah, we do that thing like the like when Ben Stein's money. Oh, Ben was eight out of ten on the Germany for Florida. Now it's your turn. Set the clock.
20:52🔗AdamHe gets angry when he misses it. Stopping his feet.
20:56🔗DrewThis could be bigger than paintball karaoke.
21:00🔗DrewOh, yeah. I mean, but I really shouldn't even talk about that on the air. That's going to be so big. But that's the only thing that could top paintball karaoke. Possibly could be Germany or Florida. All right. Should we take a little break?
21:13🔗DrewThat's a fantastic idea. Josh Malina is here tonight. He is from the West Wing and also from the Celebrity Poker Showdown, which is on Tuesday night.
21:58🔗DrewPhone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. Josh Malina is here tonight from The West Wing and also from Celebrity Poker Showdown, which is gonna be on Bravo, nine o'clock, Tuesday nights. Just missed it tonight, right? Is it Tuesday, Drew?
22:37🔗DrewWho's been on Loveline? You get a list. Let's say there's been 500 guests on the TV show Loveline. You get a guest of a thousand people and see if I can pick out 80.
22:48🔗AdamNo way. It's gonna be hard. Hey, listen, for a long time, when the Method Man stuck in my head, but Crystal Method, I couldn't get.
23:00🔗DrewYeah, I don't know. I think you're, well, I don't know what, I smoked a lot of weed. I don't know what your excuse is. I introduced myself to Janine Garofalo for the third time. She's like, there's nothing worse. And I mean, Drew, this has happened probably 30 times. I said, hey, they talked to the person who's been on the show five minutes before. Hey, nice to meet you. Thanks for coming on. I did the TV and the radio twice.
23:32🔗DrewYou know what there needs to be? And I started adjusting myself after the Janine Garofalo incident, which is I stop saying, nice to meet you. I say, good to see you.
23:44🔗DrewKeep it somewhere in there. And they don't know, celebrities don't know either whether you've met or they've met because they're always bouncing around, right.
23:50🔗AdamSomebody at the Kathy Griffin's party reminded me that Leah Remini had been on Loveline, the radio show.
24:03🔗DrewRight. We've closed a few shows. Is that right? Yeah, so if there's ever any kind of contractual dispute or something and you want to get this celebrity poker showdown thing to go away, just kill it.
24:15🔗DrewOh, yeah. Yeah, we're the undertakers and we'll close that show right down. We've shut down a few sitcoms. We've been on the last episode. Sometimes we shoot it doesn't even air. The show gets yanked before it goes there.
24:26🔗Joshua MalinaAs long as the check clears, right? That can be a good thing.
24:48🔗CallerAnd I totally agree with her that there's no excuse for it and everything. But the problem is, is I'm dating this guy that had been with three other different girls that were, I guess, really raunchy. And so now he won't even attempt to go down on me at all.
25:14🔗DrewHe just picked up, you know, 19, 20-year-old girls.
25:18🔗CallerI mean, I've tried to like say, if you need to check me out beforehand, I'm like, that's fine. I'm trying to be understanding about it. But he's just like...
25:26🔗AdamThat's the point. That's the point. It has nothing to do with...
25:30🔗AdamIt has nothing to do. It has nothing to do with that. He just doesn't like that. Yeah, he doesn't. That's just him. Period. How do I make him like it?
25:40🔗DrewHow do you get a guy to like liver? You know what I mean?
25:44🔗AdamWe sort of don't like that. When you say...
25:46🔗DrewWell, actually, use bacon if you want to get someone to like it. Rub bacon on your vagina.
25:51🔗AdamYou and I generally just kind of don't trust guys that won't do their duty, generally.
25:56🔗DrewHere's where we'll include Josh in this, but there's a lot of guys that aren't into this. Here's the point. Guys aren't into a lot of stuff. You just do it. Absolutely. That's part of the deal. It's the deal you make when you're... When it's an unspoken contract.
26:11🔗Joshua MalinaIt's an implicit deal in every relationship.
26:13🔗DrewYes. It's when you are going to have sex, you need to pleasure the woman this way. Hopefully she'll return the favor and all that kind of stuff. And when you make these proclamations that this is not something you do or had a bad day... That's a bad guy. And by the way, would this guy make that announcement with some spokesmodel who he's head over heels and love for? I say not. I say he gets down there.
26:38🔗AdamWell, I think there are two guys, ones that would...
26:42🔗AdamAnd ones that would not, would just get down.
26:46🔗DrewWell, yeah, I'm just saying, you're saying to a girl, I don't really care what you think of me when you say I'm not going to do this.
26:53🔗AdamThat's right. And I don't care about what goes on with you.
26:58🔗DrewIt's another thing that women don't know is guys will do some dating with women that we're not all that interested in.
27:05🔗AdamAnd so the thing is, just what they call them good enough for now.
27:08🔗DrewGood enough for now. So it's like, look, if you want to come over on non-weekend nights and give me a BJ while I watch some sports center and you got a nice ride and we can hang out and whatever, fine. But I'm not going down on you and I'm not going to buy any jewelry. And that's and I'm wondering if this guy may be that guy. Kate. How in do you think do you think this guy is?
27:33🔗CallerWell, I mean, he does different things for me. I mean, he. I don't know.
27:50🔗CallerHe messages me on my phone all the time or he'll write me cute little notes and put him on my car. I mean, what's he do for a living? It's that. I just think he's.
28:34🔗DrewReally, All right, so look, you're gonna have to just tell him what you want, and he's gonna have to do it.
28:49🔗AdamWell, I don't want to freak him out more than, you know. Listen, stop worrying about freaking guys out.
28:50🔗DrewThat is not where you should be, you have all the power.
28:51🔗AdamDon't worry about freaking him out. He's not some kind of, you guys are some kind of lemur or ferret that might just scamper.
28:54🔗DrewGuys, women act like they're sneaking up on, you ever watch us hunting shows? I just love when those guys are like, it's an eight pointer, come on, I'm gonna rub some bull urine on. We're gonna go, we're gonna crawl over here. And they're just like, they're trying to get it in the sights, they're trying to get closer. And if you step on a twig, it's just gonna gallop away up into the hills never to be seen again. Good, fine.
29:21🔗AdamA guy that's into you is more like trying to, you'd freak out a freight train. Yeah. More like you have a freight train turn around in real life. Really. And if the guy's spooking because of something inconsequential, he is not into you and you need him to be gone.
29:36🔗DrewPlus, let me say this, if a guy went down on a handful of girls and got hold of something bad, I don't think he'd be talking about it. I think he'd just be changing the subject and stuff. He wouldn't be going, yeah, I was going down on these other girls. I mean, just, hell, I can still taste them. I belched one up at lunch.
29:54🔗CallerAnd that was some pretty rank skank there.
29:57🔗DrewSo I won't be going to, whatever story a guy tells you is not the story. He says something's weird, possibly gay.
31:05🔗DrewThey, I don't know, cause there's 100% difference between five and 10.
31:08🔗AdamAnd an infinity in terms of most people's duration.
31:12🔗DrewYeah, going limp when you're in is not a great sign. Is it, Drew?
31:17🔗AdamWell, I would think about anxiety, medication, you know, things like that.
31:21🔗DrewYeah, but once you're in, you know what I mean?
31:24🔗AdamYou should, well, a lot of, it happens to, you know.
31:26🔗DrewEveryone has butterflies before the big game, but then once the ball's kicked off and everyone's out there playing, it sort of goes away. If you're still nervous at halftime, it's something, there's something weird about that.
31:36🔗DrewEspecially if someone you've, a veteran like yourself, Brad, you've been with this girl for a year now.
31:42🔗AdamIs there anything, any story you want to tell us? Anybody cheating or problems or anything else going on in your life or her life? Or about her? I mean, anything about the circumstance that-
31:51🔗CallerWe broke up for about, I don't know, maybe six, eight months there and she cheated on me.
31:57🔗AdamSo you've been dating a year. You've been dating a total of four months?
32:00🔗CallerNo, no. We were together for about it, for about almost a year and we just started having sex again.
32:07🔗AdamYou know, anybody that goes, new, new, gotta smoke pot.
33:16🔗AdamThat is for medical, physiological sexual dysfunction. What we're getting at with this guy is there's something sort of psychological going on here. He's anxious, he's something, something. We get a feeling something's up. We kind of feel like it's bogus. He's kind of, he's not high, but he seems very flat and detached from, you know what I mean? Something's up with your breath.
33:31🔗DrewMaybe he's angry, maybe they can't get, here's what happens to, I don't know if you ever went down this road, Drew, but I know I have, Josh, possibly you too, which is you're together for someone, with someone for a while, maybe six months or a year, you break up, you should break up. Then for some reason, somebody gets desperate and you get back. And you get back five months later.
33:55🔗DrewYou start finding out that they're with a couple of guys you knew and it's kind of weighing on you. And it's like, it's now all this baggage.
34:01🔗Joshua MalinaIt never goes back to what it was.
34:03🔗DrewAnd what it was is you broke up with, by the way.
34:07🔗AdamThe reason and the experience, the breakup, the resentments of who they have or have not been with, it all adds up to intense anger. You're angry all the time. And it's hard to function sexually if you're angry. But he had it before too.
34:21🔗DrewWhat about, what diet change? Exercise? I don't know. What if, I wonder if-
34:27🔗AdamWe're not gonna get to the bottom of this for a second.
35:35🔗AdamI got my car washed. I got my car washed. That predicts better than anything. I mean washing my car.
35:40🔗DrewI just, those pussies with their five day forecast and all their nonsense and I get sucked in every time because I'm always building something and I'm always like, oh, we better put a tarp on that. And they're always talking like they know too. And then we got high pressures moving in. Now, and then they start showing pictures. Now you see what happens, now look what happens here on Thursday, by Thursday, all of this moves toward the Baja Peninsula. But another front heads in and none of it ever happens. None of it. You know what I'd like to do? I'd like to just record this for one year, then go outside with a video camera, holding a newspaper up with that date on it and say the same thing and then call all these sea suckers into a room and go, okay, this is what you said. This was my view from my house that day. I don't see any clouds. You know what I mean? Like I would just, I would just, but I get sucked in. Ooh, it's coming. And when they just start describing, these guys could just, they could have a picture of Armageddon.
36:41🔗AdamIt's coming for dinner too. It's like they're serving it up. You're ready for it. You've got a taste for it.
36:46🔗DrewYeah, but they got the full sun. Then the next one, there's some clouds floating around. The next one is a guy with an umbrella and a thing. And uh-oh, oh, Saturday's going to be, oh, it's going to be torrential and nothing ever happens. And never the apology. All right. Josh Malina here tonight from the West Wing and Celebrity Poker Showdown. We'll take ourselves a quick break and we'll be right back. Here, buddy, it's Loveline and Adam. That's Dr. Drew. Phone number, 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. Joshua Malina's here and I was trying to eat something. What is that? What's crackling? What's going on?
37:39🔗Joshua MalinaFluid and cough drop. A little bit of a cold.
37:42🔗DrewYeah, everyone's going nuts with this cold, Drew. It is wildfire.
37:46🔗AdamBecause I gave you the flu shot, you ain't getting it.
37:49🔗DrewOh, wait a minute, I didn't take the flu shot.
37:51🔗DrewI refused the flu shot. But let me look.
37:53🔗AdamDid I give it to you anyway? I thought I gave it to you, ultimately. No.
37:56🔗DrewLet me ask a couple of things. Okay, let's just talk about a few things. And by the way, Josh on Celebrity Poker Showdown. Yeah. Yeah. And the West Wing as well. Now, let's talk about this flu thing for a second. Because-
38:13🔗DrewOkay, that's number one. Okay, just with the flu vaccine for one second, do we have to run out every goddamn year? They can't make enough of it.
38:22🔗AdamThe last three years, we couldn't get it.
38:24🔗AdamThat was the big thing. We couldn't get it in time, was having a problem with the batches. Then we got it, and we got it like in December. And the problem was getting everybody then vaccinated.
38:33🔗AdamI don't know. This year, we ran out except for the flu mist, the nasal spray, which is a live viral. A lot of it, there's a nasal, you don't take a shot anymore. You can just squirt a thing in your nose.
38:42🔗DrewLet me say this, by the way. Rather take a shot than squirt something up my nose if you think about it. Like, hey, you don't have to take that, feel that little prick in your forearm anymore. Just ram this rod up your ass. It's exploding rod. Oh, I don't have to get a shot? It's great. Yeah, we cut your head off and we dump it down your neck, but I don't get the shot. No shot? No. Shot, no big deal for guys.
39:08🔗Joshua MalinaDoes the nasal one work? It's as effective?
39:55🔗AdamViruses have epidemiology. They run courses like in the other, like growth cycle. But why are they predictable? Because they're like, they grow in the environment, pretty like anything else. Like flowers grow. Yeah, like flowers, exactly.
40:06🔗DrewOh, really? So I mean, it's like this apricot tree yields apricots in July.
40:44🔗DrewOh, I would just figure they'd give it to you now for next week. Oh, okay. So when you want to give me the shot, you're talking about for March.
40:52🔗DrewNow what's everyone getting now? Cause everyone is sick.
40:55🔗AdamIs it a viral upper respiratory infection? Has no response to antibiotics. Virus means not to bacterial, therefore antibacterial, antibiotics.
41:04🔗Joshua MalinaVirus, you just gotta wait it out.
41:07🔗AdamAnd magically, people think because they take the Zithromax or the Bax or something and it gets better in four days, it's the antibiotic. It's gonna get better in those same four days when you take the antibiotic.
41:17🔗DrewSo what, and this is by the way, why I tell everyone to relax when they're like, oh, you gotta go to the doctor, just sit down. Just quit smoking for a few days, you'll be fine. So what do you do?
41:26🔗AdamJust take decongestants and, you know, if you get wheezy, they're inhalers and things that are helpful. And do you steam yourself and rest?
41:33🔗DrewWhat's the best thing you can do? Is it rest?
41:36🔗AdamI mean, in terms of your body, best thing you can do is spend a lot of time in hot water and steam.
41:42🔗AdamThat really helps it drain out and decreases the inflammation. Decongestion sometimes are helpful. Anti-inflammatory sprays like, you know, flow nase, nasonex, the nasolide, these things that anti-steroidal sprays and then inhalers can help decrease the inflammation associated with it.
41:56🔗Joshua MalinaBut now, if it goes into your chest, doesn't that mean it could be like bronchitis or something bacteriological?
42:01🔗AdamNo, first the bronchitis just means inflammation of the airway, so it's going in the chest means you have bronchitis.
42:07🔗AdamBut for a bacteria to get secondarily on top of it, usually you'd have high fevers and that sort of thing. The one thing to watch out, if you get a lot of tan or yellow out of your sinuses, that's a sign that the science may have occluded. Some what are called anaerobic bacteria may be growing, and then, okay, then you get to know about it.
42:23🔗CallerAre you a real doctor or just a love doctor? Yeah, that's what I thought. He's a psychiatrist. I love people.
42:32🔗DrewWe have idiot Casio just sit here. Drew will go through that whole rigmarole and then during the commercial go, what kind of therapy do you do?
42:43🔗AdamI love when Adam defends me. He could abuse me for two weeks after that.
42:49🔗DrewHe's a medical doctor for Christ's sake. Listen, all these other pussies and crackpots, you hear these crazy witches in their 50s who still think they look hot in a mini skirt and stiletto heels dispensing this bogus advice about sexuality. Everyone's called themselves doctor something. These are whack jobs. These are junior college degrees sitting around telling crazy people not to kill themselves. That does not make you a doctor. We got a real doctor here, everybody.
43:16🔗AdamAnother week of abuse, Adam. It'll be fine. I'll take it.
43:19🔗DrewAll right. So you get this thing, take it easy and get some steam.
43:24🔗AdamDon't listen. You take antibiotics, all you do is whatever bacteria that are in your body, you make them resistant to that antibiotic. So the environment, the world we live in will start developing bacteria that will no longer respond to antibiotics. So when we actually do get a severe infection, which could be life-threatening, if throughout history, that's what people died of, we could get back into that same period of history again, where antibiotics no longer work.
43:47🔗DrewAnd let's, it's time to do some weeding and forget about the seeding. I just want to wait. That's all. It's like, this is a hillside that needs to be, we need to chop it down because it's coming into fire season. Yeah. Control burn, control burn. That's what I want to run on the control burn platform. I'm talking about people here. We got a thing to hurt. All right, let's talk to Randy. Randy? All right, now we got you for the Germany or Florida. Go ahead.
44:17🔗CallerOh, by the way, Drew isn't just a doctor, he's a real good doctor.
44:43🔗DrewBecause I'm an adult. I'm not calling from Salt Lake on a phone shaped like a football. All right, Randy, this is old, this is bogus. Now listen, listen screeners, here's the wives' tale.
45:05🔗DrewNow here's the story, by the way. The story is that they find, after the fire is put out, they find a guy in a full frog man outfit, a burnt corpse hanging on a tree because the bucket went down and scooped up a guy who was snorkeling near the fire.
45:30🔗DrewThose guys, those guys know when they pick them up. Most of them just have snorkels. They drop down into the water and suck it up. But thank you.
45:37🔗AdamThey don't go to scuba diving territory.
45:40🔗DrewTo drop the bucket in. They try to stay away from the buoyed areas and the kids and the hot tube boats.
45:56🔗DrewPlease. All right, what are we gonna do? Let's take a break. All right, Josh Malina here tonight from the West Wing and also Celebrity Poker Showdown. We'll be right back after this.
46:07🔗CallerHere it is. Tons of lame people and no decent prospects.
46:13🔗CallerCall the Dateline. 1-877-889-DATE. So get your problems ready.
46:43🔗DrewLet Good day, it's Loveline, I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1, Josh Malina is here tonight from the West Wing and Celebrity Poker Showdown. I will be on Jimmy Kimmel Live tonight if you care to see me. All right.
47:01🔗AdamThanks for talking about that flu stuff, I think it's important for me to get out that last hour.
47:05🔗DrewYeah, it's interesting, and I don't think enough people are aware of the facts surrounding it, and especially, like I said, if you work in a place like over at Jimmy Kimmel Live, there's a couple hundred people there, it seems like 75 of them are dragging their ass through there.
47:21🔗AdamThat's your little environment there, the virus is going through there.
47:23🔗DrewThat's why I keep telling everybody when they're laughing and slap me on the back.
47:26🔗Joshua MalinaDoesn't Thanksgiving do that too? Everybody comes from all over the place and breathes on each other. Yep.
47:47🔗DrewI can hear her coming through the door cause she's just in the next room. You see, she's not from Cleveland or anything. I actually move them around the house. It's nice. We have a picture of a turkey this year.
47:56🔗AdamYou have to start out with it. Well, now everyone's here.
47:58🔗DrewYeah. It's, there's conference calls where there's people. It's always like there's some talking. It's like, hold on. Bob Roletti just came into the room. It's always like, oh, shut up. Like, can we just have this conversation? And then I like when people announce too, they go, I think this is Tony Johnson, Adam. I think, okay, so I know you're the asshole that bring up this horrible idea. The conference calls really, it was gonna solve every problem about 12 years ago. Was it not? Yes. We're gonna have a conference call. That's gonna straighten everything out. Just turning a huge pain in the ass. Everyone's waiting. Once in a while, somebody drops off. You don't know they dropped off because they haven't said anything for 20 minutes. And you didn't know they've been gone for 19 minutes. They can't get back on. Here's how conference calls work too. There's 18 people, one guy does almost all the talking and everyone else just sitting there listening. It really just set up a loudspeaker at the blowhard's house. Yell at you. Yeah, but the conference call was gonna be something that was bigger than it was. It was gonna make a bigger difference than it did. Somehow we're gonna straighten out everything and it never really worked. It's a pain in the ass. All right, let's talk to Lee. Lee?
49:20🔗CallerYeah, so I'd like to talk to Dr. Drew. What's up, man? I am, I'm on probation now and I was sober for about two years and started using heroin again. Really? And I was wondering, because I don't want to go back to jail, I just wonder if there's any way I could detox myself if we know any kind of medications I could take.
49:48🔗AdamNo, no, Lee, heroin, you don't detox outside of a hospital. Even if you could do it yourself, you'd keep chipping heroin. It just doesn't work like that. You have to be in a structured environment. You have to be there for a long time. How much is heroin these days?
50:02🔗CallerI don't know how much it'll cost these days.
50:04🔗DrewYeah, but like how much is enough for a guy like you to get a daily fix?
50:08🔗CallerI only do a little above a bag a day. 20 bucks.
50:40🔗CallerYeah, and then I just started back into the thing, but now I don't have any insurance or anything. And like, you know, if my...
50:48🔗AdamThen go to an NA meeting, grab a sponsor, get somebody to help you out through a tough detox. You may have to cold turkey it on your own. There are non-cold turkey ways to detox of bupren-X now and there's methadone and things, but boy, I'm starting to treat people regularly strung out on bupren-X. So watch out for that stuff.
51:06🔗CallerSee, right now I'm detoxing myself on with Valium and Ativan.
51:10🔗AdamYeah, well then you're gonna get strung out on that.
51:13🔗AdamLee, look, Lee, you weren't sober. You really have never been in the program.
51:17🔗DrewMaybe put together a week or two. Hey, Lee. So if you go back to jail, how long you think you'll go back for? Two years.
51:28🔗AdamAll right. Yeah, I hate to say it might not be a bad. It might be a life-saving move for you. But if not, you've got to find a county-funded bed in a sober living somewhere and get your ass in there.
51:36🔗DrewI know, but let me say this. You know, we end up making prison the county-funded beds. Like, hey, we don't have any money for the county-funded beds that cost 30 grand a year. But we got ones for the 55,000 a year cost to put the guys behind bars. And maybe they can pick up a trade or two, like how to make a spoon into a shiv. And they can get connected in there with the Mexican mafia. It's great. They really pick up a trade. Guys that aren't essentially criminals, they're essentially addicts. And now they get to hang out with the criminals and learn the stock and trade of the criminals. That's great. It makes sense. Hey, but we're tough on these people. We're tough on, I'll tell you who we're tough on. We're tough on the drug addicts. We're tough on gambling. Yeah, that's who we're tough on. Not so much the prescription stuff and the booze. And if you don't count the lottery and stuff, horse racing and paramutrient and dogs. And Texas hold them in a pie gown, stuff like that. But the other stuff we're tough on and it's the same with the drugs. Am I right? Yeah. It all makes sense. Listen, can we get a goddamn atheist in office for once and we just start doing stuff that makes sense? Let's just, that's it. No room for any policies other than what makes sense. Can't someone run on the what makes sense ticket? And here's the thing, like I would just say, it's not my ideas. I hired a bunch of doctors and a bunch of scientists and a bunch of therapists. We all just figured out what makes sense.
53:00🔗Joshua MalinaYou could run on that platform, it wouldn't work.
53:02🔗DrewHere's my drug policy. I got together a whole bunch of addiction medicine specialists and scientists and socialists and socialists. We worked it all out and that's what we're gonna do. Just don't you want to do that? What do you got for NASA? Just get a bunch of good scientists and mathematicians and stuff and put them together and get a rocket to the moon. Should we just do this? We do it, understand why we don't do it. Like we do it in economics, we do it in the sciences.
53:31🔗AdamWe feel like it's voodoo in the soft sciences, the social sciences.
53:35🔗DrewIt's not that big a deal to figure it out. Oh, we got it. We got a nice pragmatic atheist in there instead of some a-hole who's pretending to be religious. I love when they consult with the clergy and the stuff. I love when Bill Clinton, after one of his multiple BJs has a talk to his clergy.
53:56🔗DrewReally? Or are you just looking, just searching your pockets for another Quaalude? Please. Soul searching. It's such a, it just, and here's the other thing too, then if you go in as an atheist, you have no excuses. You can't do that. You know, I talked to God or brought the reverend in or on Sunday, or we're gonna pray for the troops. I don't want anyone praying for the troops. I want them doing whatever is gonna be best for the troops other than praying. I don't want them praying on anything. I just want them doing stuff or not doing stuff. Waste of time. Plus there's no reason these guys couldn't work Sundays. You know what I mean? They have to sit in church all day. And they just want to get the picture coming out of the church, right? They don't actually go. I mean, like, do you think Bill Clinton, he was an atheist, had to be an atheist. Here's my argument with these guys. How can you be a very spiritual man and get BJs?
54:45🔗DrewHe's not a, you're one or the other. If you really believe this crap, if you truly did believe it, how could you act this way? Do you know what I'm saying?
54:56🔗AdamWell, he's a weak man, he's a human flesh, that's all I'm saying.
54:59🔗DrewOh, that's all it starts with. I don't even know what he was. Let's just get a good atheist or maybe a fantastic in there and take care of business.
55:07🔗AdamI did an interview with E where they built the case very strongly that he was a sex addict.
55:11🔗DrewYeah, and he sounds like a sex addict. I mean, look, here's the definition of an addict, Drew, definition of addiction.
55:20🔗AdamContinued behavior in spite of consequence.
55:22🔗DrewIn spite of consequences, meaning, first off, you're in the role of the president and you can't keep it together for a few years until you're out of office, number one. Number two, when he came in, there were the whole trail of allegations and situations and lawsuits and stuff. Like you knew that you're-
55:41🔗DrewYou're on notice. You're on notice. And here's the deal, keep your pants up for a couple of years, you go out and you go out like a, you go out on top. Hey, history's very kind to you.
55:50🔗AdamHe could go on a terror then too, you know what I mean?
55:59🔗DrewFrom Washington to San Diego. That's what you do.
56:02🔗Joshua MalinaSo it's a compelling argument then. He was an addict.
56:04🔗DrewCouldn't do it, just like an addict can't. That's the thing. You tell an addict, listen, you do it one more time, you're going in jail, you do it one more time, you're going to divorce, you're going to lose your job, whatever, what's an addict do? What's an addict do? He does it.
56:17🔗AdamAnd we know we had the family history, which is the other thing that's part of the defining feature is mom was a morphine addict. He had the trauma. Because he would mom, he would be, they have horrible physical abuse and violence in the house. And there you go. That's the recipe for addiction. That's it. That's the recipe.
56:32🔗DrewYeah. But we can turn to Fox News to find out what the truth is. What is that? How come there's no room for that in society?
56:44🔗AdamIt drives me crazy because it's all journalists asking questions and they have no training, no theoretical framework to understand the kinds of questions they should be asking. They're just looking for facts from people who don't perceive the facts.
56:53🔗DrewAll right, let's make a pact to get rid of everyone who's not us. I think that's what we're coming down to.
56:59🔗Joshua MalinaJosh, you're lucky you showed up tonight.
57:02🔗DrewIt could have been David Allen Grier sitting there and you'd be out.
57:05🔗AdamBy the way, Josh is the other Yaeli we got on our little squad.
57:08🔗DrewOh, he's a Yale man. I like that. I was always a Harvard guy. I was always a Valley College guy over in Van Nuys there, but we pulled for Harvard. That's the way we were. That was our sister school.
57:55🔗And I like going down on her, and she likes it when I go down on her, too. I'm like a real man. I keep hearing about all these guys that don't like going down on women on your show. And I was wondering, she just got it Saturday, and I was wondering how long before I should possibly go down on her, because I don't wanna hurt her because of her tattoo and stuff.
58:18🔗AdamAll right, hold on, John. A couple things. What are you doing there?
58:47🔗DrewYeah. Well. Yeah, listen. He just wanted to hear his own voice on the radio. John, you don't have any real problems. You go down on your girlfriend. She got what's the tat of this is going to be good butterfly?
58:58🔗No, she got a heart moon with a stripe through it with some stars on it.
59:03🔗DrewNo lucky charm spots. I had a girl who had the fruity pebble spots on there for a while. Yeah. Yeah.
59:14🔗DrewThat's a great cereal, isn't it? It's got marshmallows in it. It's for breakfast. Really? Marshmallows. Nothing else. How about we just take a lard making a ball and we roll it in marshmallows. The kids can eat that, wash it down with some chocolate milk and then we just get an IV of a Hershey syrup.
59:41🔗DrewHow about a plate of ribs? How about some rib cereal? Just baby back ribs. You don't use milk, you use barbecue sauce. I like people go, Hey, Reese's Peanut Butter Cups for breakfast. It's cereal. Oh. Okay. And the kids love it. Yeah. When we just empty the Reese's Cups into a bowl and up, I was like, I understand like, you know, free market and all that kind of stuff. But once in a while when Coke makes it, makes a good campaign for Coke for breakfast and Reese's, like I want to go, okay, Phil's, now you're pushing. You're pushing too hard now.
1:00:19🔗DrewYeah. Cigarettes for breakfast, Coke. You don't, you know what you do with the Coke. Here's how you take it for breakfast. You dump it on the Reese's cereal and then you just pull the marshmallows out. Lucky Charms put that on top of that. That's fine. That's right.
1:00:33🔗AdamBut they're not too far off with the Reese's because you keister cube of butter. Most of those cereals are just concentrated carbohydrates. You might as well just concentrate more sugar.
1:00:47🔗DrewWell, how bad do you have to be as a parent to go out and buy the Reese's peanut butter cup cereal for the kids? They're a pretty weak parent, yeah? What parent's worse, that one or the Sunny D parent?
1:01:02🔗DrewThat is the, you know how Mountain Dew is the nectar of the tards? That is the nectar of the adolescent tard. The pre-teen tard, to me, it's a-
1:01:24🔗DrewIt says drink orange drink. Whenever you see drink, that's a bad sign.
1:01:28🔗Joshua MalinaLike when cheese is spelled with a Z.
1:01:30🔗DrewYeah, you see the Z, you see the drink, that's a bad sign. And yeah, it's just basically, it's just a bunch of corn syrup and orange dye number five mixed into some sort of god-awful compote that only retarded people respond to. Like normal, healthy, intelligent people take a swig of that stuff and immediately goes flying out of their mouth.
1:02:22🔗AdamAnd got about 40 liters of Sunny Delight.
1:02:29🔗DrewAre they trying to kill you? Yeah, it's like, forget about parting gifts, I'm being punished now. I got to schlep all this Sunny Delight home? 40?
1:02:38🔗AdamIt was some ungodly, I'm a filled with fridges.
1:02:45🔗DrewNo, my year supply is a thimble full of that poison for me. All right, and what, you had to drink it all though, because it's so cheap.
1:02:52🔗AdamNo, no, I had to dispose of it though. I had to make sure it didn't get thrown in the trash, I had to dispose of it.
1:02:55🔗DrewWell, who'd you give it to? I can't remember giving it away though, I like it. Yeah, solvents and that kind of stuff. No, don't just dump it down the sink.
1:03:08🔗AdamNo, there's a bunch of fish that's come up floating up in the ocean. That's right.
1:03:11🔗DrewOh my God, one day I'm just gonna come up with a list of tarred food, tarred sustenance. Sunny D's gonna be right up there. Now maybe there's some booze you could mix with it. And by the way, that's how you know it's horrible stuff because no one's even figured out a way to dump booze in it and make it tolerable. You know, the Red Bull's horrible tasting stuff. It's they figured out a booze drink. They figured out booze with almost everything. 7-Up, Coke, everything's got a booze to it, but Sunny D, no, they can't even figure that one out.
1:04:15🔗DrewSo Laura. Remember to have this back in the day if you were gonna be on TV, you just had to watch real hard that day. There's nothing you could do about it. There's no way to capture it.
1:04:26🔗DrewJust stare at it real hard. Hope you memorized it. Go ahead, Solora.
1:04:33🔗Whenever I get close to a guy, I end up pushing him away and I wanna know why I do that.
1:04:41🔗AdamWell, it means that maybe, sometimes around 18 to 22, that's sort of a protective mechanism. You kind of have a healthy impulse not to get too involved. Sometimes it's a problem with intimacy. If you had somebody that died on you or your dad was distant or your relationships have meant, vulnerability has meant pain rather than intimacy. As intimacy approaches, naturally enough, you avoid it.
1:05:02🔗DrewLet me ask you a hypothetical, Solora. You have to drink a tumbler of either Sunny D or Mop and Glow. What do you go with?
1:05:12🔗AdamMaybe that's why they sent them together.
1:05:14🔗DrewNo, maybe you mix them. Yeah, you cut it. No, but you chase it.
1:05:32🔗DrewBut the home game is yes. And it's like, hey, you sucked on TV. You can suck at home and you can remember every time you suck in your living room. Now, when you're playing this game, this is all you got.
1:05:41🔗AdamOh, I get my ass kicked. The wheel went against me.
1:05:47🔗DrewWhat the hell was Solora talking about? Yeah, the wheel had it in for you, Drew. Hey, Solora, did your dad die or anything like that?
1:05:55🔗No. My parents are still happily married. The only thing I can think of is my mom has Huntington's disease. So I don't know if that's affecting anything like my relationship wise.
1:06:06🔗DrewIs it all Huntington's Korea or is it just Huntington's and then there's Huntington's Korea?
1:06:45🔗DrewSalara, could that have freaked around?
1:06:47🔗AdamWell, it's a freaking thing. Have you been tested, Salara?
1:06:51🔗No, I'm going to get tested. And I think two months.
1:06:55🔗AdamAnything else going on in terms of psychiatry? You know, if you have that gene, it can manifest in all kinds of interesting ways psychiatrically, right?
1:07:29🔗AdamRight. It might be a cheek membrane. Is it cheek or blood? Or both, probably. Well, be that as it may. Be that as it may. It may be something related to that biology, perhaps. It may be something related to being sort of affected by taking care of a parent with a chronic illness.
1:08:01🔗AdamSo guys are coming after you, and that's...
1:08:02🔗DrewIt's also something you do when you know you have the market back to Josh, but when you have a good hand, you know, you see a couple of Aces in the hand, you're ready to play.
1:08:12🔗DrewYeah. And you get... you're choosy. And you should be at 19. And by the way, you could just get three guys who you probably... you know, in a row who you probably shouldn't be with. They were smart. But go get tested for that, Huntington's Korea. Korea's the movement.
1:08:27🔗AdamKorea form. Choreoathetoid is really what it is.
1:08:36🔗DrewYou're a therapist, right? Josh Malina here tonight from the West Wing and also from the Celebrity Poker Showdown. It says me and Drew are going to be on it, but we won't hold our breath out of it.
1:08:50🔗Joshua MalinaOn the radio table. Yeah, sure.
1:08:52🔗DrewYeah, yeah. Us sitting there with Tom Likus. All right.
1:09:15🔗Drew1-800-LOVE-191 Josh Malina is here tonight from Celebrity Poker Showdown, which is on Tuesday nights, 9 o'clock on Bravo and of course, the West Wing. Many people think he's the president.
1:09:36🔗DrewI'm assuming that. I was talking about it with Jimmy, who was calling me nuts, but I think he could run for president and do decently, just by virtue of fact. I think a lot of people would go, yo, let's keep him in for a second term.
1:11:53🔗CallerEverything was just wonderful about him. Such a beautiful person on the inside. No, the outside was wonderful too. The outside doesn't matter. He was here for two weeks. I'm just going to be able to interpret that for you. I'm just going to be able to interpret that for you.
1:12:11🔗AdamI'm just going to be able to interpret that for you. Oh, I see. She wants the outside not to matter.
1:12:34🔗DrewHe's your delusional, semi-attractive woman. He's an attractive man, and everything's working out, but what's the problem?
1:12:43🔗CallerI got pregnant on depo, which is... Actually, my main question would be, I was totally under the impression that that was pretty much not possible. Are you overweight? No. Well, I'm slightly. I weigh 155 and I'm 5'5.
1:14:02🔗AdamAnd were you bleeding or not bleeding?
1:14:03🔗CallerNo, no bleeding. I don't ever bleed on depo.
1:14:05🔗AdamNo bleeding on the shot. Had you missed the shot at all? You've been on time with it?
1:14:09🔗CallerOn time every three months for about three years now.
1:14:12🔗AdamWell, the one thing that people have been increasingly concerned with is about the women that are not, that may be a little bit above the sort of average body weight.
1:14:21🔗AdamNow, I don't know that the Depo-Provera type shots are ones we particularly worry about. The ones I've read about are more concerned with the estrogen.
1:14:28🔗DrewBut it's like if you're going to dart a koala bear, you don't need that much. But if you're going to hit a rhino, you better get up the dose. But dose up or that baby will keep charging.
1:14:39🔗DrewNo, you know what I would like? We'll get back to Jennifer in a second. I love watching the tranquilizers kick in in the animal kingdom and the rhinos fall over, stagger a couple of steps toward the outback van and then fall over. I like the animals. I like that stage right when they tip over. Not much good once they fall asleep, but it's fun when they start getting to grab the bare falls off the tree. I'd like to just watch it. I just like to watch animals getting high and falling over. Once in a while, there's some pig that ate some fermented loquats or something. It's all high and jacked up, but especially when they've been darted. And the bigger the animal, the better. There's rhinos and hippos and stuff. They start falling over. I can watch hours of that. Why don't you work on that for Bravo?
1:15:42🔗DrewThat wouldn't be right. And the pepper spray, depending on how much angel dust you have in you, it just seems to actually enhance your anger. Yeah, just-
1:16:21🔗DrewBy the way, were you guys having a beautiful online relationship? You spent a magical two weeks together and I'm imagining he's banging the bejesus out of you nonstop for those two weeks. Yes?
1:16:54🔗AdamYet you can't let go of that he's a beautiful guy on the inside crap? This is what the internet does. It just builds fantasy into a structure that is fixed.
1:17:04🔗AdamSo whatever the reality is makes no difference.
1:17:06🔗DrewSome horny canuck comes over after a year and a half bangs you every which way but loose and then goes back to Canada and then denies that he's gotten you pregnant. And by the way, I'm sure he had vicious sex with you for a day upon day. I mean, why wouldn't it be his kid? And by the way, you've been talking to the guy on the internet for a year and a half. Is there an ex-husband or somebody floating around that he can point a finger to?
1:17:39🔗Joshua MalinaIt's an insidious thing about the internet.
1:17:41🔗CallerHe's been cruising with me all over the website and calling me dirty names, making up names. They're wonderful.
1:17:47🔗AdamOh, this guy, this guy's a psychopath.
1:17:50🔗DrewYeah, let me just tell you what's going on.
1:17:52🔗AdamBeautiful, beautiful on the inside, beautiful.
1:17:53🔗DrewJennifer's just white trash, you know, and she feels bad and she got hooked up with some guy who's an asshole and she's making a fairy tale out of the whole thing. And this is, listen, you don't have to have the guy come in from Canada or get on the internet. You can just find, you can go down to the next trailer and find this. Yeah, when a guy knock you up and deny it's his kid and start slurring your name around town, just do it with the guy down and works at the Arco station, you know? You don't have to go across the border for this. Jennifer. How about giving the kid up for adoption?
1:19:21🔗AdamFor you, for one person. That won't pay for the diapers.
1:19:24🔗DrewIt's not. Yeah. It's not bad when, when people are paying you to live in your apartment, but it's, it's not going to be good with a kid. And plus, he's got this bad Canadian blood in him. Just, you know, he's got that Alan thick blood running through him. I give the kid up for adoption. And just meet a guy. There's nothing wrong with you.
1:19:52🔗DrewI'm just going to be able to interpret that for you.
1:19:54🔗AdamYour judgment in real life may be better than across the web. People get these fantasies about who the people are that are in their own head and have no reflection or very minimal reflection of reality, that they aren't bothered with reality when it actually comes to bear.
1:20:11🔗Joshua MalinaShe thought they were a year and a half into their relationship.
1:20:14🔗AdamBut not into their relationship. Reginald was a great guy. Right. Great guy. And introduces him to us as that. Right.
1:20:19🔗Joshua MalinaIn fact, she was meeting a stranger.
1:20:20🔗AdamStranger who's a psychopath, who's being horrible to her, yet won't let go of the nice guy that she convinced her to be.
1:20:28🔗DrewAnd even better, put it this way, you're much better online than you are in real life. But I just mean, you...
1:20:34🔗AdamYou can put whatever you want out there.
1:20:37🔗DrewNot only do you not... Here's what I'm saying. It's not only do you not know the person, you know a different person. You're putting forward something else.
1:20:45🔗AdamThat's right. You built something in your head. And that's the one you are having the relationship with. Not the real one.
1:20:49🔗DrewOh, you bitches are so lucky I can't type, because it would be huge.
1:20:56🔗DrewOh, man, I'm lining up around the block. Elizabeth? You're 18? Yeah. See, here's what I'm not going to learn. Type. Then they put things in the alphabet order.
1:21:12🔗DrewThat's an R. And then T? What? And then A? Come on. It goes all the way across. It's not like A, B, C. The A and the C are like far apart. The B is even further from the A than the C.
1:21:25🔗AdamThe hideous thing, though, it can't be changed.
1:21:27🔗DrewWe got to change it. We got to put them in order, man. I mean, I guess you go to that place where they keep the books. Where's that place?
1:21:37🔗DrewLibrary? People borrow books. They don't do that. It's not like they're tools or something. They borrow books. Anyway, Lib-Beth, what's up?
1:21:47🔗Well, me and my 24-year-old boyfriend have been together for about a month and a half now and we're both in early recovery. I have five months sober and he has three.
1:21:57🔗AdamWell, now Elizabeth. What? What is that all about?
1:22:10🔗AdamThat's right. And especially not to newcomers. That guarantees failure. Guarantees relapse.
1:22:17🔗DrewWell, you guys didn't know each other before?
1:22:20🔗No. I live in a clean and sober house and he does too. Louis is his fourth clean and sober house. He's relapsed like 30 times since he was 18.
1:22:29🔗AdamWell, he's going to take you down this time. He's going to take you with him this time. You're the one, you're the life preserver he's going to hang on to as he sinks.
1:22:35🔗Right. Well, he's very codependent and so am I. I've been in like six relationships since I've been sober.
1:22:42🔗AdamWell, Elizabeth, that's more in the codependency, right? It is. Yeah. Six relationship in six months?
1:23:07🔗DrewDon't listen to the man, baby. And by the way, your plan is work to perfection so far. It's perfect. I mean, nothing great. In and out of relationships and rehab.
1:23:18🔗AdamElizabeth? Yeah. What's the first rule also beyond not- What's the first, the ultimate rule that you've completely disregarding in recovery?
1:23:25🔗DrewOh, wait a minute. I know what it is. Something about Fight Club. If you don't talk about Fight Club.
1:23:34🔗AdamWhat is the first rule? It has nothing to do with not putting things in your mouth. What's the first thing you have to do? Very, very fundamental, most important thing you got to do to get sober.
1:23:44🔗CallerI'm not really sure. I didn't really too much pay attention to dream.
1:23:51🔗AdamYou have to surrender and you have to follow directions. And you're a non-surrendered addict. And at that point, you're in relapse. So it's just a matter of time before you put things in your mouth and start-
1:24:02🔗CallerI have come up with a lot of problems with my clean and sober house being put on a contract because my using behaviors come out more than others.
1:24:10🔗AdamWell, you're non-surrendered. You also must be a trauma survivor, right? Something happened to you growing up?
1:24:15🔗CallerYes. My father left when I was months old and he was my mom.
1:24:20🔗AdamI'm sure things even worse happened to you. All right, so listen, you've got to let go.
1:24:26🔗DrewPlus, you're a chick. Yeah, so you're 18, you're a chick, you don't know anything. So just quiet down and listen to the experts. People are trying to help you. Let's give it up. Let it go. That's fine. You do what they tell you to do because they know.
1:24:40🔗AdamThat's all you have to do to get well.
1:24:42🔗AdamThat's it. But the problem is that the powerlessness she experienced in childhood was so painful, so overwhelming, she can't let go. That's the conundrum in recovery.
1:24:50🔗DrewLet me explain what stupid is, by the way. Stupid is not knowing the answer. Everyone doesn't know the answer to plenty of stuff. It's not listening to people that know the answer. That's what stupid is. See, you can be stupid and then talk to the right people and go, Hey, what's up? How do we do this? How do we take care of this? And listen to those people. You'll be just as smart as they are. You'll just be doing what they tell you to do. You'll get all the collective years of wisdom and education and schooling and all the textbooks and everything they read right into your skinny little 18-year-old brain. But you start fighting with them, then you get nothing. By the way, the whole fighting thing never pans out. No.
1:25:27🔗AdamWell, don't listen to the man, Adam. You think you're the man, don't you, Adam?
1:25:33🔗DrewAnd let me tell you something, by the way.
1:25:35🔗DrewNobody has to listen to the man. It's just you guys F up so much, the man eventually comes in and starts talking. It's not like you're just going through college, tra la la la la, getting on the dean's list, getting haze and volunteering down at the senior center, the man has to intervene.
1:25:50🔗AdamI beg to differ. The man doesn't intervene with anybody more than like doctors and people that are highly trained. That's what the man's really having a field day. I got news for you.
1:25:58🔗DrewWell, Drew may be right. But again, he's not a real doctor. All right. Josh Malina here tonight from the West Wing and Celebrity Poker Showdown. Take a quick break. Be right back. 1-800-LOVE-191. Hey, everybody, Loveline, Adam, that's Dr. Drew, Josh Malina is here tonight from the West Wing and also from Celebrity Poker Showdown. On Bravo. All righty.
1:26:35🔗AdamLet's take a Germany or Florida from Brian.
1:26:39🔗DrewOh, phone screen of Brian. Where is he?
1:26:41🔗AdamHe's going to just, I think, jump on the mark here.
1:26:57🔗CallerAnd it's pretty darn good. A man confessed on Wednesday, this happened a couple of weeks ago, to killing and eating a willing victim he met over the Internet. Now here's what happened. He placed an ad on the Internet to find a willing victim to be cannibalized and videotaped. And a guy agreed to it. He said he got thousands of people, quote, seeking to fulfill their desires to eat humans or be eaten by Internet advertisements. He kept the skull in plastic bags of flesh in his freezer. He ate about 44 pounds of the flesh, destroying it bit by bit. Canada. Et cetera.
1:27:32🔗AdamOne person? He was killed while he ate one person.
1:27:35🔗CallerOne guy that they know of. And that's the one he's standing trial for.
1:27:38🔗DrewNow, I'm going to have to pull out because I know the answer to this.
1:27:47🔗DrewBut now, wait a second. I think there's a part that Brian may be leaving out, which is. The guy ate part of himself before he was then consumed by the other guy.
1:28:16🔗DrewI mean, you're not going to use your small finger or something and do it halfway to penis. You go for the brass ring. And and and let me ask this, too. Did the other guy kill the other guy or did he have him kill himself? You know, for legal purposes?
1:28:31🔗CallerHere here's what it says, he, quote, killed him with a kitchen knife in the, quote, slaughtering room he had built containing meat hooks, a cage and a butcher's table. So he had set up the room especially for this.
1:28:47🔗CallerHere's what happened. Eventually, the victim lost consciousness and the man killed him with a knife. He hung the corpse up and cut it, filming the process. And they're going to show the film in the trial.
1:28:57🔗DrewOh, that's going to be great to be on the jury of that trial, watching that macabre film. All right, fellas. What is it? Germany or Florida?
1:29:03🔗AdamFlorida. I think we would have heard about this more if we were actually in Florida.
1:29:07🔗Joshua MalinaThat's why I was going to say Germany.
1:29:14🔗DrewGod bless you, Brian. Wonderful. The feel-good story of the night, by the way. Pleasant dreams to everyone. Thanks, buddy. We'll see you in another couple of years. All right.
1:29:28🔗DrewI don't know what I'd do with them. I like to put everyone on hold.
1:29:31🔗AdamIn life, yes. I noticed you flicking that index finger when you're talking to people.
1:29:34🔗DrewYeah, I do. I'm talking to my mom. I'm in the same room. I'm like... And now we're going to your grandmother's house now, what do you have Thanksgiving? What's wrong with this thing? I got to get that hold button worked out for people in real life, Drew. Oh, what a, what a Shangri-La I would be living in. Jim?
1:30:10🔗CallerThey come into the stretches and it grows. It really, I don't know if it was the pill that did the work or the stretching that did, because that was brutal, but.
1:30:36🔗CallerI have no idea. I had never really looked.
1:30:38🔗DrewYohimbib, bark, something else. A little speed and a little sugar. Yohimbib just gives you some erection, that's all. Put a steady pressure on it.
1:31:02🔗CallerSince I stopped taking them, it doesn't get completely hard anymore. It doesn't have the input you used to.
1:31:10🔗AdamThis is what I've always said about that stretching stuff. I can't believe the stretching doesn't leave you stretched. Not fluorescent.
1:31:20🔗DrewEnding up looking like a native that put a plate in his lip the size of a hubcap. It's to say you take it out and the thing just falls down to their chest.
1:31:28🔗AdamI don't think it's so much the pills as much as the stretching having done this.
1:31:31🔗DrewJust knock it off, guys. By the way, this is going to be great when you get liver cancer. They're like talking to your parents. Well, Mr. and Mrs. Jones, your son first has to go about four months to live with. We don't find a suitable donor. Second, a bunch of dong hardening pills I bought at the Army surplus store. Other than that, he was healthy. So he killed himself essentially trying to get a boner. It's great. It's great. You just send away for this crap and you just take it. Really? How stupid can you be, everybody? Stop it. And who is this for? And I, you know, I believe that guys who try to make their dick longer say it's for it's for them. But it's for them. Like they want to proactively do you know how crazy people pick at themselves and grab their junk all day? The retarded guys are always flapping around their nuts and stuff. That's what this is.
1:32:26🔗AdamSo they also they're just self-esteem problems. They got to feel better. I got to make myself more bigger.
1:33:15🔗DrewYou're on. I wear blue blockers and a visor. You're on. Celebrity Poker Showdown on Bravo Tuesday nights, nine o'clock, and of course the West Wing Wednesday nights on NBC nine o'clock. And so until next time, this is Adam Carolla for Dr. Drew saying mahalo.
1:33:35🔗CallerThis has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or this station. The producer for Loveline is Annie Gold. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment. Yeah, yeah, yeah.