9:37🔗
Loveline with Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew.
9:42🔗
Voiceover
That's Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Dr. Drew, board certified physician, addiction medicine specialist. Ron Livingston is here tonight.
9:58🔗
Adam
Now, I've worked like 15 days straight or something. And you know, I like to eat and I like to do nothing. And I don't, I hate work. So I'm really excited about the next four days.
10:10🔗
Adam
The weather's cool outside. This is my, we've got, it's like, it's football. It's cold. It's food. It's weather. It's all, it's no work. It's perfect. Ron Livingston's here. Glad to meet him for the third or fourth time, depending on how many times he's been here.
10:27🔗
Adam
I come home. I find a strange, busty woman in my bed when I get home. Turns out it's my wife. I'm always surprised.
10:33🔗
Yeah.
10:35🔗
Adam
Yeah. Tell her can't be right. We're married. Right, Drew? I'm no scholar. Ron is here plugging The Cooler, which is a movie that I saw reviewed on Roper and Ebert and whoever, I think, last Sunday. And I gave it two huge thumbs up.
10:57🔗
Adam
And those guys, you know, they have a hard time agreeing on things. And when you get the two thumbs up, it's fairly rare, probably somewhere in the 15 to 20 percent range. And now a big thumbs up for The Cooler.
11:14🔗
Adam
Yeah, because I did see The Cooler and I got to believe it's rigged because this was a flaming turd, Drew. I've got to be honest with you, they're paid off, obviously. No, you know, I do what I do always find a little suspicious is I do watch the show religiously and I'm not sure why I just really enjoy watching them review movies. And sometimes I'll see them that they split in the paper like thumb up and thumb down. And I mean, on the show they split. And then when I see in the newspaper, the paper, the review says thumbs up, but it doesn't say two thumbs up. So, I think the idea is what they try to trick you is they go like Siskel or Roper or whatever. One of them gave the thumbs up, so they write thumbs up. You got to see two thumbs up for it to be both of them. That's what I think. And the cooler? Thumbs up. Two thumbs up. Two thumbs up. Wow. Two thumbs up.
12:06🔗
Adam
William H. Macy, amazing, one of the best actors of the last ten years. And maybe more, Alec Baldwin, dear, dear, dear friend, I mean, this is a great cast. Now was this, this was shot, was it shot in Vegas?
12:22🔗
Ron Livingston
We shot it in Reno. It's set in Vegas. Reno is cheaper. And we got a casino, we got ahold of a place that was going out of business. They were redecorating it and ownership was changing. So we owned the place for the whole three weeks. So it was kind of like the shining in a casino.
12:41🔗
Adam
And was it all shot on like a three-chip camera or something, something? I mean, was it was it shot on film or was it shot digitally?
12:50🔗
Ron Livingston
No, it was on film as far as I know. Yeah, I believe it's on film unless you know more than I do, which is highly possible.
12:57🔗
Adam
I was, Anderson says film, so I got to believe him. But I was talking to Alec Baldwin like a year and a half ago about something he was shooting in Vegas or somewhere in that area and he said he was shooting it on like digital something and I wasn't sure if this was that or something else.
13:21🔗
Adam
Boyfriend who couldn't ride a motorcycle. I like that show. You got to be quiet about it around the office.
13:27🔗
Adam
Yeah, I like it. It's a good show. Well, it's well written. It's well acted. It's maybe more, you know, it gets a little more heat than it deserves and maybe it's a little overrated or something at times, but it's a good, solid show. Good storylines, good actors.
13:45🔗
Drew
I just asked this, though. Let me ask you this one question. I'm bothered by the, and I actually like it too, but I'm bothered by the unreality of the characters. You know, like Samantha is just a really, like a very, very, very disturbed person.
13:56🔗
Drew
And I can see why Samantha and the prissy girl and the Sarah Jessica Parker characters would hang out together. They're all sick, basically. Right. And they support each other, each one of those ill pathology. But why does the Kim Nixon character hang out there? The redhead? She's like substantial and together. And think about how she's...
14:15🔗
Drew
But think how she treats men. She kind of does them a favor of having sex with them, like an, okay, I'll go, uh, yeah. And she's gay.
14:27🔗
Adam
All right. Uh, so, uh, Ron is here, the cooler, the cooler's out in LA and New York, but, uh, really just getting, uh, rave reviews and, uh, an interesting storyline too, which is, uh, William H. Macy is, uh, paid by the casino to sort of cool down guys who are on a hot streak.
14:45🔗
Ron Livingston
Yeah, he's, he's by, just by the way of his karma, he's, he's the worst gambler in the world. His luck's so bad that not only does he lose, but anyone he stands next to loses. Nice. So of course, you know, I can play that role.
15:00🔗
Yeah.
15:05🔗
Yeah.
15:07🔗
Adam
See, it, it first, I thought it was, uh, a homage to, uh, Roadhouse where Patrick Swayze played the best cooler in the business. That's, uh, that's Bouncer. Really, really. That best cooler in the business.
15:22🔗
Adam
That's the other thing that never, never happens in the movies. Like, hey, this guy's the best cooler in the business. No one ever goes, uh.
15:28🔗
Adam
What does that mean? He's a bouncer. He bounces. There's never any weird confusion. It's just like that part where he goes, meet me on 555 Old Maple Lane at 12 o'clock on Tuesday. No one ever goes, hold on, let me get a pan. There's no momentum stopping. He's telling 14 year old girls, hey, that's Dalton. He's the best cooler in the business. Oh yeah. No one goes, huh? And as you know, from talking to our list, there's no one's heard of anything ever. Right?
15:53🔗
Adam
You two got 80 years of wisdom between the two of you, and five college degrees, and neither one of you morons knew what a cooler was, right? That's my point. If this was a movie, we'd still be talking about it. We'd be well into Act Three, and I'd still be just explaining what Dalton does. Let's take some calls. I'm in a good mood.
16:12🔗
What the hell happened today? I don't want to eat.
16:16🔗
Adam
I'll tell you what happened. I'll tell you something else that happened today. I was driving over here tonight. I stopped at the liquor store down on the bottom of the hill.
16:25🔗
Adam
No, no, no. That's for later. I got loaded for later. I bought some booze and I realized I forgot my wallet. I had about 30 bucks worth of booze.
16:35🔗
Adam
The guys that just sign up. And I thought, that's because it's a place I go to. And then I thought, this is an important message to share with the kiddies and all of America as well as my cranberry recipe, which is coming up soon too, which is everyone's trying to save a buck, but let me just tell you a couple of things. You got to patronize your local hole in the wall ma and pa places. You got to keep these places around.
17:01🔗
Drew
But just for that, you're going to show up with a basket or something next time you go in there.
17:04🔗
Adam
Well, I'll tell you, there's a couple of things. I always leave these guys to change. If something is 2875, I just give them 30 bucks and leave. I go, you get it back to me one day. That's another good thing. You reap what you sow, everybody. Get out there, spread it around a little bit, number one. But number two, your time is important and you're worth something. People don't do it. Everyone will go to Home Depot to buy a couple of wing nuts or something. They'll go buy 75 cents worth of screws and wait in line for four hours. You got to figure that you're worth, figure at least a couple bucks an hour, right? So if the drive's a little further and the wait's a little longer and the place a little bigger and the parking lot's a little fuller, that's going to cost, whatever that money is, is going to be absorbed. I mean, look, if you're buying 70,000 board feet of knotty pine, then by all means go to the Home Depot. But for the nickel and dime stuff, get in, get out, establish a relationship with the local guy. They'll know you, they'll help you out, they'll treat you right.
18:02🔗
Adam
I have. All I get is this, I'm used to the steely-eyed glare of the foreigner behind the bulletproof glass at the 76th station.
18:13🔗
No, I cannot have.
18:16🔗
Adam
I don't want anything. I'm just like, No! Do you guys have a water? Can I get water? Well, I want to get air.
18:23🔗
50 cent!
18:28🔗
No! No! No! No!
18:33🔗
No!
18:35🔗
Adam
Do you got the ultralights or the? The pump says out of order, but I got a 70 cent. Isn't that what it is? Listen, I'm going to need to borrow a gas can. I got a Faberge egg I can leave. I got some gold ingots that I salvage from a Spanish warship galley off the coast of Costa Rica. The gas can's only three dollars.
19:05🔗
No, cannot have. No! No, cannot have. No, cannot! I'm trying this beverage. No!
19:16🔗
No, cannot have. No, no, no, you cannot have.
19:20🔗
No, no mixing.
19:21🔗
No, cannot have. Read the menu. No, no, get fired. No!
19:25🔗
Adam
Yeah, this is the time I try to mix the chicken and the lamb shawarma over the zanku chicken and the bitch starts screaming at me and I had to drive to another one that was about ten miles away just to prove my point but yeah, it's good for the life. They're trying to make people over there. I did another one where I was trying to pay with a credit card for a falafel sandwich and the falafel was $3.99 and the minimum credit card was $10 so I told them, just take the $10, give me the falafel and they said, no. I think in their world I would be trying to get away with something.
20:12🔗
Adam
That's right. You come from that part of the country, you blow fart, you're trying to get away with something right? Anything? It's all something. Everyone's guilty until proven guilty. Right? Is that the motto over there? It's great. Good. So everyone listen. Here's the deal. If you got a good business, pay them a couple extra bucks. These guys can be your friends and if someone's in a hole, tell them to f off and never go there and tell everyone not to go there and get them out of business. Thank you. And is this LZ or you think that's Liz? LZ, you're 15.
20:49🔗
Caller
Okay, I work off all the time and I was wondering if you could get an orgasm by whacking off?
21:02🔗
Adam
I'm going to do some rough calculations. I'm about 36,847 out of 36,847 on my whacking off orgasm ratio.
21:16🔗
Adam
Yeah. So I'm pretty good. It's a streak and every day is a new day and every day it could be broken. It could fall.
21:35🔗
Drew
You may be a little bit young to be doing this, which makes me worry about why you're doing it.
21:40🔗
Caller
Well, okay. Yeah, because I don't like, okay, there's, okay, my ex, well, actually a girl, she's 17. She wants to lose her virginity to me and I don't know her background either. So, I don't...
22:44🔗
Liar whore! Liar whore!
22:48🔗
All right.
22:58🔗
Adam
All right, LZ. Easy with the weed. Leave her. And listen, when you take someone's virginity, it's a little responsibility.
23:09🔗
Adam
We got a question for Ron over here about Office Space, which is, uh, Engineer Anderson's all-time favorite movie. And I would say mine too, but... No, it's not. It isn't?
23:27🔗
It can't be my favorite film.
23:30🔗
Please.
23:36🔗
I don't buy it.
23:39🔗
Yeah. I was wondering, well, actually, first I want to say to Drew, you know, I love your book. I read it, you know, I came to this studio and you really got me psyched about it. So I read it and I loved it. I actually used it in an essay relating it to a great Gatsby.
23:58🔗
Yeah. So and then I wrote for Ron, what was it like working with Mike Judge and Jennifer Aniston?
24:06🔗
Ron Livingston
It was really cool. Mike's one of those guys, because he's an animator, I sort of thought that he was going to be very kind of meticulous and have things planned out. But he directs more like a bass player where he has bass player. Yeah. Yeah. He used to be a rock and roll sideman guy after he quit his engineering job and before he started animating. So he's really, yeah, he really kind of jumped around a lot before discovering how to make trillions of dollars. But it was really cool. He, everything was really loose and it was a lot of fun.
24:47🔗
I came to the studio on June 16th. I don't know, Adam, I didn't really talk to you too much, but I was the guy who busted the bogus caller. You remember? Miriam?
25:03🔗
He what?
25:08🔗
You were over there?
25:11🔗
It was at Westwood One, yeah, and then, yeah.
25:16🔗
Thank you. I was supposed to say, I know Tara's leaving, so I just, I guess, goodbye to her from all of us at wherever I am, I guess.
25:23🔗
Adam
Whatever. Okay, Atlanta, for all of us at, and then he realizes he's going to high school. Tara, don't call me Tara, god damn it, is going to be out of here on the 30th, by the way.
25:36🔗
Adam
No, that's not, that's clapping like good for her. Not like we're happy to see her go, is it?
26:02🔗
What's up?
26:09🔗
Yeah, I found the exact recipe on the back of the Ocean Spray. Cranberries, fresh cranberries at Wegmans.
26:30🔗
You're very ambiguous when you're describing it. You're like, oh, my, I think it was your aunt pulled out some of the jelly stuff and said, no, I'll take my own recipe.
26:44🔗
Drew
Adam's Test Kitchen. Face it, if Corolla's had passed it down for generations, it would have.
26:53🔗
Adam
There's nothing handed. The only thing handed down for the Corolla's was the nappy hair. That was it. And the nasally, maybe the only thing I got, I think, is maybe a deviated septum.
27:05🔗
Drew
I was just thinking, when are you going to get that fixed? When are you going to get that fixed?
27:24🔗
Drew
Just because he wouldn't let you wear your underwear for the surgery, you've never forgiven me.
27:27🔗
Adam
He's doing hand surgery and he needs my underpants? What kind of pedophile, what kind of, well maybe he's not a pedophile, but the point is what kind of pervert needs a pair of underpants to work on a man's arm, you know what I mean? Stretched out. Ron, I was strapped out like Jesus on the cross with like a six foot sandwich board behind me. They taped my hand to this thing so I wouldn't move around while they were doing their surgery and you still needed my underpants.
27:56🔗
Adam
And then you got to put the gown on with the big club, the big club cast on and you're all drugged up and your asshole's hanging out the back and you got a tie in the back. But how are you going to tie anything in the back with the big club hand and you're all. Pumped up and viking in and stuff and just walk around your nutsack dragging everywhere? How much sack do you think those nurses see per year? Millions and miles?
28:23🔗
Drew
That year, that year, you put them over the top. I mean, there's so much sack there. They've been talking about it to this day.
28:34🔗
Adam
How much sack do they want to see and how much old sack? And as you get older, let me tell you what happens. You get older, you get smaller, your sack gets bigger. Your sack and your nose keep growing. And your ears, your sack and your nose. Those are the three things that keep growing.
28:51🔗
Adam
Everything, everything else starts shrinking. So eventually, a guy's like 200 pounds with an eight ounce sack is going to be 135 with a 70 pound sack. It's true, Drew. It's true. If you get old enough, this is how it will go. Most don't live that long because I had those calculations for like 3000 years.
29:12🔗
Adam
I have a large sack. But the point is, is I don't need to have the sack hanging out while the stupid smock is pulled up over my head with the thing and the drugs and the IVs and just leave the guys underpants. You take the underpants when you work on underpants areas. You know what I mean?
29:30🔗
Drew
It's on your side. Ron was last on here in 1996, you were complaining about the same thing.
29:45🔗
Adam
Okay, here's all you have to do because Ron, here's what happens. What happens? What happens is people spend, they sit in the kitchen for five, six hours and then at the very end, they bust out the can opener and they open a can of cranberry sauce, unacceptable to me. Absurd. Sometimes it's like it's jelly and they like slice it up and it's sort of serrated. It's like the shape of the can. It's very low rent, very white trash, very white trash move. Here's all you do. Get a sack of cranberries, loose cranberries, an ocean spray sack, you know, you just take that sack. You... Nice segue. Yeah, nice segue, right? You just take one cup of water, one cup and then go a little lighter than a full cup of sugar because you can sweeten a little more. Go by three quarters of a cup of sugar, dump that in the pot, bring it to a boil, dump the sack of cranberries in, put the lid on it. It's done. Five minutes later. Five minutes, five, six minutes. Fresh cranberry sauce. Fresh, zesty, warm cranberries.
30:43🔗
Adam
You give it a little, you know, you give it a little stir around and put the lid on it, turn the heat down. It's done. I mean, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's marginally more work than opening the can, marginally, but barely, about the same calories burned as opening the can and getting the crap out of the can is making it fresh. Well worth it. Well worth it. Well worth it. I like when they say season to taste on the thing, like, you know, what are you going to do? Put a bunch of crap you're allergic to in there? You know what I hate? I, I hate rosemary. I'm going to stuff it full of rosemary just to make myself vomit. Season to taste. You have no ass, you retards. Ron Livingston is here tonight. The Cooler is his movie. It is out in New York. It is out in LA. With your good support, it will be out everywhere soon.
31:30🔗
Adam
And it's got an all-star cast, a lot of good actors in this movie and great, great reviews so far. So, take a quick break. We'll be right back after this.
31:40🔗
Caller
This is your radio. Every hour two Americans under the age of 25 are infected with HIV. Protect yourself, call toll free 1-866-344-KNOW.
32:15🔗
Adam
That's Dr. Drew. Phone number, 1-800-LOVE-191. Ron Livingston is here tonight. The cooler name of his new movie next week. Macy Gray is going to be here. Kathy Griffin is going to be here. Tori Amos is going to be here. David Allen Grier and Joel from Good Charlotte is going to be here. Yes?
32:44🔗
Adam
Drew's going to have a little roof problem. He's trying to explain it to me and he's not doing a great job. Drew, your words can't draw a picture, neither can your mouth.
33:06🔗
Adam
Ron thinks you're an idiot now. Come on, you could draw something, but drew it during the break. Yeah.
33:23🔗
Caller
I have a problem and it's kind of doing with my husband. I can go down on him for I've done it up to two hours now. I can't get him off. But in the past with the other guys I've gotten, I've getting them within five minutes.
33:46🔗
Adam
And by the way, if I don't get a mouthful of tapioca after the first hour, I'm packing it in. You know what I'm saying?
33:54🔗
Adam
I'm just figuring I don't get an hour or two with the BJs. Ron, am I right? Two hours is a long time. Two hours is a lot of blowing. I don't know if I have collectively two hours under my belt, Drew. What do you think?
34:15🔗
Adam
Can you really, by the way, can you really blow a guy for two hours or is that just chick time where you think you don't have enough room to make it through the alley but you really have a ton of room or you think the ceiling is 60 feet high but it's really 11 feet high? Is that that chick estimating thing?
34:57🔗
Adam
Is he retarded? Sometimes retarded guys. Look, Amanda, we asked you does he like it and you answered with he always plays with himself.
35:13🔗
Caller
I don't know. I mean he does make moaning and groaning noises but I don't know if it's true. You know what I mean? I don't know if the sound is...
35:22🔗
Adam
Amanda, first thing, no kids. And don't fly any planes where you actually take the controls of the plane. Oh my god. It would be very dangerous.
36:08🔗
Adam
He does not, he enjoys the physical sensation of oral sex, but he's not what you call a BJ guy.
36:36🔗
Caller
And he won't get off. I mean, I don't want to do it anymore because it takes too long. All right.
36:41🔗
Adam
Well, you're going to have to see if you can cut into that time. Maybe he can get started on himself and you come in and join the program in progress.
36:50🔗
Caller
Uh-huh. I mean, does he have something to do with like testosterone? Because he's like really hairy. And I know that could maybe do something.
37:01🔗
Adam
But listen, Amanda, two things. It's not your fault. And secondly, no homeschooling for these kids. You hear me? Please. You sent them far away from the house, right? I don't want them coming home on the weekends. I want year round, 24 hours, seven day a week school.
37:22🔗
Adam
No summer breaks and no Easter, no nothing. You understand? You communicate through semi-four like they do on aircraft carriers.
37:33🔗
Adam
All right. You're okay, baby. He's fine and he's got to pick it up a little and you should just talk to him about it. I think he could be sympathetic about that.
37:41🔗
Drew
Yeah, you should be discussing this all with him and maybe he doesn't masturbate too much. Maybe he can sort of hasten his pace a little bit by not masturbating so much.
37:54🔗
Adam
And then later on, things start to take their toll. I mean, if you've been boozing or doing coke or smoking weed or taking a lot of prescription drugs or something like that, maybe eventually a smoking cigarette. Over the course of 20 years, things are going to start to take their toll. But when you're 25, your clock is your clock. And some guys go off, their alarm goes off two minutes into it and some guys, it's two hours and for most everyone else, it's somewhere in between. But there's this sort of notion that you want to, there's a little blame mixed in with how we fix it.
38:27🔗
Ron Livingston
Oh, sure. You know, there's different, I remember when you're 18, you know, you dream of being able to go for two hours.
38:33🔗
Adam
Yeah, but everyone does that. It's sort of like, why is he doing this? Doesn't he understand?
38:48🔗
Adam
Well, that's right, but he can't. But it's weird as a society, we get angry. And I understand. Yeah. You get angry when you're blowing a guy for two hours. Yes, Drew?
39:01🔗
All right.
39:04🔗
Yes.
39:09🔗
Caller
Uh-huh. But first of all, I just want to say I'm like a dedicated fan. I love y'all guys.
39:16🔗
Adam
Thank you. Thank you. Germany or Florida. The way that's played, Ron, is he gives a bizarre story and we say whether it came out of Germany or Florida since all bizarre Macabre stories came out of Germany or Florida. That's Pink singing the Germany or Florida theme song and Drew tinkling on the piano. Chris? Go ahead.
39:39🔗
Caller
Okay, so a white girl is kidnapped and then like a bunch of people like pitch in, they all try and like find her. And about three weeks earlier, an Indian girl had been kidnapped and like nobody did nothing.
40:09🔗
Adam
I still got to go Florida on this one. And by the way, this is not the world's greatest Germany or Florida example.
40:16🔗
Caller
One girl was kidnapped and another was kidnapped, is that, that's not a good Germany or Florida, is it?
40:29🔗
Yeah.
40:31🔗
Adam
Let me talk to the screeners about Germany or Florida. A, it's got to be one we haven't heard before, to the best of your knowledge. I know you haven't heard every single one of them. And then B, it's got to be something that's Germany or Florida.
40:42🔗
Yeah.
40:42🔗
Adam
This is just, and it's hard to prove, and it's not really much of a story. That's right.
40:59🔗
Caller
Okay, here's mine. A local doctor has been suspended for exposing himself to patients. On at least three separate occasions, he had been accused of dropping his pants, discussing medical charts in the buff, and attempted to conduct examinations in various stages of undress. He took off his laboratory coat and his shirt pants, commented one patient. He then stood naked in front of me and asked me to comment on his appearance.
41:32🔗
Ron Livingston
The English sounded pretty colloquial, so that would lean towards Florida, but the whole thing sounds German to me.
41:52🔗
Right.
41:56🔗
What?
42:16🔗
Yeah. How's it going?
42:28🔗
Drew
When you stop to put the condom on, do you lose it? Or once it's on? Or what's the situation?
42:37🔗
Drew
Once it's on. So it's not the breaking of the rhythm. It's not the process of putting it on. It's just the fact that it's on doesn't feel good.
42:51🔗
Adam
Trying to control your penis is like trying to control a house cat. Like if you just sit there and try to will it somewhere, it will never do like you're thinking, can you just if you just start thinking what you want the cat to do, the cat senses what you want it to do and does the opposite. Your penis is the same way.
43:09🔗
Adam
Penis is a house cat. You must think, please don't get a boner. Not now. Oh, Lord, not now. And then you will get one. It's very combative. It's passive aggressive, the boner.
43:47🔗
Caller
That would work. I just, it's kind of a new relationship, so we don't know like so much about each other's history that I'm that comfortable with it. We did do that and I had no issues, but with the condom it just seems impossible.
44:17🔗
Adam
Hey James. Yes. Okay, here's what you need to do. You're new, you're in a new relationship and you're a little unsure of your footing. Here's the whole thing, question marks killed the penis. That's my Dr. Seuss title for the night. I mean, whenever there's a little like, hey, I wonder, I don't know if she's clean or not. I can't tell where I'm at in this thing or whatever. The penis immediately is out.
44:46🔗
Adam
Right. You need to just sort of, time will heal this wound. You need to sort of find your rhythm.
44:58🔗
Adam
Yeah, James is probably a guy maybe has never really been broken in. We haven't talked about this in a while, but guys get their first girlfriend, maybe they're 16, 17 or whatever and they kick around a little bit. But then there's that one break-in chick. That's where we try all the different. That's the one you take the shower with. You know what I mean? Remember the first time you take a shower with a chick, she's like, dude, the shower was totally naked. The lights on. She totally let me check her out. She like just turned her back to me. She wasn't worried. I was going to do nothing.
45:34🔗
Drew
All those years you were peeking into the women's locker room. Here it is in front of you.
45:44🔗
Adam
Yeah. And you start getting into stuff. Yeah, because you want to check everything off the list. This is the breaking girl. Usually once you've been through that relationship, then it's sort of smooth sailing from that point on because there's a familiarity to it all. You know what you like. Yeah. You know, you've been around. Other than that, it's like being a temp and just bouncing from one office to the next and never really figuring out where the elevator is. You get the lay of the land. This becomes like a place you've been working at for a while and you get smooth walking down the hall. Hey, the Coke machine's over here. But if you hit it just right, like the Fonz comes right out. So that's what you need. And that's what James needs. Ron Livingston is here tonight. We're going to take a little break. Drew, I'm not going to discuss your roof during this break.
46:32🔗
Adam
Only if we do it in the bathroom. OK, boring fit, only if Ron goes to the bathroom with us.
46:43🔗
Adam
No, number one, just we're only going to as well. I got to in the 10 o'clock hour. We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back. Loveline.
47:21🔗
Adam
Ron Livingston is here tonight from The Cooler, which stars William H. Macy and Alec Baldwin and Maria Bello. Maria Bello. And like I said, two big thumbs up on the two. Two, not thumbs up, but two thumbs up. Thumbs up and high praise. Even said that Baldwin, who was sort of wasting his time with the cat in the hat thing, this was a nice big comeback for him.
47:59🔗
Adam
Yeah, and I don't know, and they're both, I assume both of them are listening now. When I do go into production of a question mark kills the penis, I'm really just going to take the better. I'm not going to, whoever auditions better. I'm not going to get into politics. You're both dear, dear, dear friends, even though I've not met one of you.
48:26🔗
Caller
I have a question for Drew. Drew, I went to the gyno, and they said that I had an inflammation in my vagina. And I was just wondering if that could lead to more serious problems if I don't take the medication that they gave me for it.
48:53🔗
Drew
Well, it means infection. The inflammation is caused by an infection usually. If it's just a vaginal infection, it can be pretty uncomfortable. You can sexually transmit it. But it usually doesn't have complications, though. It's not good if you're pregnant. If it's a more serious, like a real true STD, the infection can get up into the fallopian tubes and cause fertility problems.
49:31🔗
Drew
Can you get over-the-counter medication, like Monistat, Terazol, or Guyolotrimine, something like that?
49:41🔗
Adam
Let me ask something, really, the VagCream, you got to go in and talk to somebody to get the VagCream?
49:57🔗
Adam
Oh my God, crab shampoo, well, you need a prescription. Really? There's abuse of crab shampoo?
50:03🔗
Drew
Hey, just be happy, listen, the emergency contraceptive morning after pill is finally being championed on Washington as an over-the-counter medication.
50:10🔗
Adam
I just said it, look, I can go into the sporting goods store and buy a crossbow and then I can go buy a couple of gallons of gas and then I can buy a fifth of tequila and a hunting knife. I can't get the crab cream?
50:25🔗
Adam
Tell me, society, how bad a hit would we take if people who didn't actually need the crab shampoo?
50:42🔗
Adam
That's what I love. I love that argument. I love the retarded, slippery slope argument. I love the NRA retards with their, listen, they start getting our, you know, our banana clips. Next thing you know, they're coming in telling you, you can't use that fork. It's too dangerous. You could stab someone. They're busting into your home and taking your children's pocket knives and BB guns.
51:09🔗
Adam
Next what? A couple of days, a couple of weeks. When does that happen? When we outlaw the grenade launcher and then they come in our home and tell us we can't use a steak knife. When would that be? I'd like to mark that on my calendar, you stupid tarts.
51:21🔗
Adam
Yeah, obviously you're lying. And it's the same, it's that, oh, it's that, oh, that slippery slope. And here's the thing about that slippery slope argument. You're lying. You're, here's that, you're retarded or you're a liar. One of the other. Or possibly a retarded liar. It's one or the other. It's like with that Kevorkian stuff. Well, here's the thing with Kevorkian, you know, he, he a couple guys in advance stages of a Lou Gehrig, they're scared they're going to choke on their own saliva in the middle of the night. So we hook them up to the suicide machine and they flip the switch. Next thing you know, your doctor's killing perfectly healthy patients.
52:12🔗
Adam
Now here's the thing. Do you believe it or you're an effing tard? Or a liar? Liar or tard? Which is it with the slippery slope? It's always one or the other. They're never really worried about what they're saying is going to happen. They're prognostications. Here's what's going to happen. Oh, oh, oh.
52:32🔗
Adam
Yeah. This is sworing tards, everybody. We start teaching the little Mexican kids in English. They start dropping out of school. No, no, they just learn English, you tards. They start apologizing. That's all.
52:54🔗
Adam
You got kids that now speak English. Oh, my God. The world is going to come to an end. That's just all that slippery slope. I just can't stand those people. They're such pussy, disingenuous tards. It drives me insane. Kevorkian. I mean, they spend millions of dollars prosecuting Kevorkian. And it's also your kids won't be killed on their next checkup. Nothing you can do. There's nothing the legal system can do. Perfectly held it. You go to a dentist. Just have a checkup. Guy just take you out. Just take a scalpel.
53:30🔗
Hi.
53:35🔗
Caller
I just want to let you know that here in Minnesota, we have this wonderful delicacy called hobo soup.
53:45🔗
Caller
No, beans. It's kind of like bean with bacon, but it's got like little veggies, carrots, and stuff like that.
53:51🔗
Adam
It's got bacon in it coming from Minnesota. It's most of it's utter bomb bacon in a boot.
54:07🔗
Adam
Big gas. Interesting. Ron, hobo power is something I'd like to catch you on, which is a unit of stink measurement. Whereas we have BTUs and horsepower and all that kind of stuff, but no measurement for stink.
54:34🔗
Adam
And you know why? Because like, again, if you're describing a sports car and it's like, oh, it's peppy. Well, how much power does it have? Well, it's good. It's pretty fast. No, no, you need to hear 300 horsepower or 400 or 200. Hobo power is the same way. It's like, oh, man, this guy let a rank fart. What was it?
54:55🔗
Adam
Twenty three because I've done worse. You know, I've been in an elevator when someone dropped a twenty six, so you know where you're at. You see what I'm saying?
55:04🔗
Ron Livingston
Well, in closed spaces, is it like that's and that's the equivalent of smelling twenty three hobos in an elevator?
55:22🔗
Adam
There's conventions where people say they've been to a hundred, but they've never been there. All right. We got to take ourselves a little break. Ron Livingston is here tonight from The Cooler, opening in New York and Los Angeles. Great reviews on this film. Take a quick break. We'll be right back.
55:39🔗
Caller
Alright guys, here's the deal. You're looking to hook up, sick of wasting time with the wrong person?
55:43🔗
One call is all you need to make.
56:45🔗
Caller
Because I'm a wild man. This close to drop and drop. Ronnie Lennington here tonight, boy.
57:09🔗
Caller
He's getting himself a new movie out there, man. Things called The Cooler. It's got that Billy Macy's in that. And got which one of the Baldwins and their Bobbies in there?
57:19🔗
Adam
Yeah, I tell them I'm going to drop, drop. All right, let's get back to our phones, we'll say.
57:43🔗
Adam
That's what I do. I want to go some small mark and just write out my career as the he'll do it back up guy. You know, that's sort of the white equivalent to the guy who stands behind Sharpton. Oh yeah. You know, it's like, all you got to do is repeat the last syllable or word or so. You know, Sharpton talking about going to the mountain in the mountain.
58:05🔗
Adam
Cross your arms and hope you don't get shot. Just hope whoever's shooting at Sharpton hits him and you're just, you're there. And then, you know, you try to put the koofy back on his head and try to get him back to health. Eric?
58:17🔗
Yeah.
58:20🔗
Caller
Oh, yeah. I was wondering, Mo, if I should wait till high school until I, like, go out with a girl or like a girl.
59:05🔗
Ron Livingston
You were going together, probably, right? What do you call the note or something?
59:13🔗
Drew
Girlfriend? Not luck. She was your girlfriend. OK. And what do you what does she do as girlfriend? Hang on here. Let me just show you something here. What does she do with you as girlfriend? Do you just sort of talk at school or sit together? Or do you go to the movies?
59:35🔗
Drew
See, the fascinating thing is all this stuff, as it starts evolving, it's very sort of difficult to navigate, understand what the rules are and the meaning of these different things are. So oftentimes, the girlfriend, just a guy just goes, hey, you'll be my girlfriend. She goes, OK. And now we're now we're away from girlfriend. But nothing changes. Oh, yeah.
59:55🔗
Drew
No, no, not at not 1112. It's just you just sort of identified with each other. And then the girl will suddenly go, I'm breaking up with you. Right. But there was nothing. Really happened.
1:00:08🔗
Adam
First off, also, what time is it? And now you're calling. Oh, you're calling from Washington, the state of Washington. Now, you see, where are you? Uh, I'm on your mother.
1:00:45🔗
Caller
You know, Blink-182 is there last night. Yeah. Yeah. I called that like 1145 or something. And it's like, here's Loveline. What's your question of it? And then they just hung up on me. I'm like, dang it. Oh, is that it?
1:01:16🔗
Adam
You want one for two. What about candied yams? Oh, wow. Now you're moving. You're moving back toward my base. What about cranberry sauce?
1:01:36🔗
Adam
All right. Well, we can all agree that you want to just keep it simple and straight Thanksgiving wise, right?
1:01:42🔗
Adam
People try to outsmart themselves with the pheasant and the different venison and things like that. And here's my question to these people. How many times a goddamn year do we sit down with turkey and all the trimmings? Are we so burnt out on this from the last time we did it 18 months ago? You know what I'm saying? Yeah. We don't sit down for turkey and candied yams and stuffing. How much stuffing do we eat during the course of the year?
1:02:25🔗
Adam
That's right. And they do that thing, too, where they go, oh, see, my cranberry sauce, I use like a papaya and mango chutney base. Yeah. It's like, okay.
1:02:37🔗
Adam
You're not making cranberry. At a certain point, it can't become more... Exotic... .exotic than what it is. It's got to be cranberry sauce. That's that. It drives me nuts when this happens. You know, the worst thing is, oh, you go to a restaurant and you're like, oh, breakfast burrito. That sounds great. And then they give you something that's totally different and they go, yeah, that's the way we do it. And it's like, well, you got to say that's the way you do it, then, like a huevos rancheros. Don't call it a burrito. Yeah, it's not huevos rancheros. You can't do your own speed. You can't give me a slab of meatloaf and some jello and say, oh, no, that's what we call huevos rancheros. Yeah, that's no good. Don't outsmart yourself. This is an LA thing, too, by the way. I don't think you're going to find this in the Midwest. It's a bunch of fairies trying to outsmart each other with spatulas. You just cook the turkey. You cook the mashed potatoes, the green beans. You bring the pumpkin pie and the apple pie and that's it. Don't get slick. There's no prizes being awarded. You just want some good goddamn turkey dinner.
1:03:39🔗
Adam
That's right. Like the Puritans, like the Pilgrims, like when they came over on the Mayflower.
1:03:53🔗
Adam
All right. All right. Let's... We've got a question for Ron up here. Let's ask him. Alan?
1:03:59🔗
Yes.
1:04:03🔗
Caller
I'm so excited to... Hey, Ron. Hey, what's up, Alan? My roommate's never going to believe that I actually talked to you.
1:04:11🔗
Caller
We like... We live your movie. It's every Friday night, you know, that's... It's a given that we, you know, both come home and then turn on the movie, but...
1:04:22🔗
Office space, yeah.
1:04:54🔗
Ron Livingston
I'm in Iraq. I'm in Iraq. I'm in Iraq. I'm in Iraq. I'm in Iraq. I'm in Iraq. I'm in Iraq. I'm in Iraq. I'm in Iraq. I'm in Iraq. I'm in Iraq.
1:05:15🔗
Ron Livingston
It was all right, actually. Yeah, because you don't have to stick around. If you don't like it, you just leave and you get another one.
1:05:22🔗
Adam
It would be a decent tail gig, too. You get a lot of a lot of poom tang out of that gig, I would imagine, because you're just sort of blown to town. There's a little women there, a little competition, a new guy.
1:05:33🔗
Ron Livingston
I didn't really find that. You didn't find that. I think probably if you're a waiter, it's better.
1:05:38🔗
Adam
Oh, yeah, bartender. Bartender, please ply me with more liquor while I pay you. That's really what a bartender is. Yeah, and flirt with me. You know what the greatest tail job was? My buddy was a juggler. Now, I know it doesn't sound like much of an ass job. It doesn't.
1:05:57🔗
Adam
Yeah, Philip the Juggler. Yeah. He gets mad when we call him Phil, yet he's a juggler, so where's his dignity?
1:06:08🔗
Adam
Here's what would work. Now, it doesn't sound like a great tail gig, but here's what the juggler, here's the deal, they would do all these shows. These shows would be Vegas shows. They would be out in Reno and all this, Lake Tahoe and all this stuff, and they would have a regular show like a review, like a dance, Dancing Girls and stuff like that, and the acts would rotate. So it'd be like a guy did like a ventriloquism would be there for a week, and then the bird guy with the bird act would come in, the animal act, and then Philip would come in for a week. We just blew in for a week. All the guys were gay. Everyone in show business is gay, except for me and Ron. It's true.
1:06:45🔗
Adam
Well, especially in the presentational show business. Any guys that were involved with...
1:06:50🔗
Adam
Anyone with an ounce of showmanship, anyone who puts a costume on to go to work, and then there's flares, and the chest is open, but there's no zipper or buttons. It just sort of comes out that way. All gay. So, he just... and all these show girls would just be hanging around. They were all from Mississippi and Iowa, and all of a sudden they're in Vegas or Reno or something. They're hanging out there for a year, and a new guy comes in. Now, the competition. And that's what you want with women. You want that competition. That's why they're all going nuts for, like, The Bachelor, like super smoking hot chicks who probably wouldn't date this guy if he just walked up to them at a bar. There's 25 of them killing each other to get in his pants. That's women are women. If you can get them worked up about something retarded, they'll go at it. They'll, they'll, they'll have a knife fight, break out over a hand, a handbag that's not worth anything except for $1400 bucks.
1:07:56🔗
Adam
Yeah. Guys would never. Yeah, if there was, if there's one dumpy chick and there's 300 guys, there's no fight about who gets her. If it's a crappy car, nobody wants it. There's no fight about who gets it.
1:08:07🔗
Drew
But the girl, the girl that takes off that causes the frenzy, the initial one to catch the attention of the others has got to be some kind of how cool or attractive or hip. You know what I mean?
1:08:25🔗
Ron Livingston
I got to find the alpha girl at the sorority and then just like be her friend.
1:08:40🔗
Adam
Uh-huh. The point is if we get someone else to do this, you show up, creates a little heat around the sorority when the cool chick digs you and now they're all in. Good enough for Tammy. Good enough for me.
1:09:00🔗
Caller
Yes, I am. First off, Adam, I have to tell you I am from Bakersfield, but I'm part of the very, very small percentage that is actually going to school and working two full-time jobs, so I'm not stupid.
1:09:22🔗
Adam
All right, but here's that old thing, like people brag where they go, I work three full-time jobs. That just means you have three crappy jobs. It's people who work one job but have a good job.
1:09:35🔗
Caller
Because I'm taking two classes in the afternoon and I work nights at a place rehabilitating people with brain injuries and then I work as a filing clerk for a doctor-
1:10:01🔗
Adam
But it's everyone. It's the mayor, it's the police chief, all brain injury. All right, go ahead, Megan.
1:10:07🔗
Caller
Okay. But anyways, my question is, I've been going out with this guy for a long time and at the beginning of the relationship, everything was fine. We had no problems getting along. And now it's the point where I just have no sexual drive and he cannot sexually satisfy me whatsoever.
1:10:27🔗
Drew
Well, the no drive is usually a sign that you're kind of checking out of the relationship. Your body's trying to tell your brain something. You're not into this.
1:10:35🔗
Caller
We'll see. There will be times where I will be excited and I will want to be with him. But then it's a real downer knowing that I'm not going to get anything out of it.
1:11:16🔗
Adam
Alright, here's what I'm picturing for Cal State Bakersfield. One rusted out storage container that was blown over four years ago on its side and you just, you open the doors and raccoons just come scurrying out of it. And then an old man, like a family possum, old man comes out of the stick and chases you away. He's the dean, he's the student body president, he's the captain of the football team, he's all, he's everybody. Cal State Bakersfield. Drew, how depressing would it be to go to Cal State Bakersfield? Your kids could end up there. No. Put a bullet in their head first, right?
1:11:57🔗
Adam
Hey Megan. Okay, now listen there, baby doll. I think maybe you're done with this guy. Maybe just break it off with him. Besides, look at you. You got five jobs. You're going to Cal State Bakersfield. I mean, you're on the move.
1:12:20🔗
Drew
This is the point, Megan. This is the point. He doesn't care enough. He doesn't care enough to try to help you. He doesn't care enough to satisfy you. He's checked out, too. This is not a really good relationship. It sounds like it's about over. At a 19, it's tough to know when a relationship is over, so we're here to tell you it's over.
1:12:57🔗
Drew
The head injury patients sometimes get something called a Kluver Buce's syndrome when they get a prefrontal injury and they're hypersexual and they can't contain the impulses. Maybe that's what you have.
1:13:13🔗
Adam
And I... Yeah. I only... I never... I never stop talking about Buddy Holly. That's what it... That's Gary's syndrome. Gary's syndrome.
1:13:35🔗
Adam
That's doing a job. That's doing a job as an American. You guys got a brain injury. You give them a little handy just to sort of relieve a little of the pressure that's built up in them over the years and you're going to jail.
1:13:48🔗
Adam
Yeah, that's right. That's right. That's Mother Teresa, Florence Nightingale and, you know, a cheap...
1:14:04🔗
Caller
Yeah, I pretty much know that. I guess I just needed somebody of a higher authority to tell me so.
1:14:20🔗
Yeah.
1:14:22🔗
I was wondering if you got chlamydia and you got treated for it, is it possible for the STD to come back without any sexual contact?
1:14:36🔗
With, God, it was like four pills you just took. Right.
1:14:48🔗
Drew
No, that actually, there's a reason for it. It's a broad-spectrum antibiotic and we're trying to control people from overusing it so the organisms and the environment don't become resistant to it.
1:14:57🔗
Adam
Yeah, well, by the way, that pisses me off, too, with everybody with the screaming about the antibiotics all the time. Every time someone gets a sniffle, everyone does it to me. Tell Drew to give you some, leave him alone.
1:15:31🔗
Adam
Yeah, Drew doesn't. I mean, he did some coke off my penis that time, but other than that, it was the only thing I've ever. It was. You were just really... It's the only time I've ever seen you ingest anything.
1:15:43🔗
Drew
No, I would not take antibiotics because the British health care system had a little commercial sort of aphorism, which was you can see the doctor, you can come in for your infection, your upper respiratory infection, which means virus, by the way. By definition, it means virus. You can see a doctor and get put on antibiotics and be better in seven days, or you can nod and be better in seven days.
1:16:04🔗
Adam
Yeah, it didn't seem like we pushed that enough. With all the retarded PSAs we play...
1:16:16🔗
Drew
I've spent half my life trying to educate people. I go, look, this is a virus, and no matter what I do, it's not going to respond to antibiotics. This is not bacterial. Here's why. Here's what I get. I know my body. And I tell you, every time I take Zythemax, it just kicks it out. And I've got to travel into this, so I've got to kick it out. No, you're not kicking anything out. You're not doing anything when you take the antibiotics.
1:16:49🔗
Adam
Speaking old Jew, talking about, you know, putting your seat belt on in the airplane in McGrufftown, warning you about not to leave your laptop on the roof of your car and all this retarded crap. Why don't they give us a PSA about that? Hey, junkie, take it easy with the antibiotics. You're going to kill everybody. Huh? There's a PSA.
1:17:10🔗
Drew
And when you really do get an infection, the bacteria won't respond to the antibiotics.
1:17:21🔗
Caller
Well, I did get treated for it, but sometimes I itch, but that's it. Like I got tested positive for it again. Yeah, but I broke up with my boy. This was when I was 15 that I had it and I didn't find out till like a year later. And then I got treated for it. And then we broke up and then it came back.
1:17:44🔗
Drew
And you've had no sexual contact since? None? Either one of those tests was inaccurate and or it was incompletely treated in the first place. But that's kind of unusual.
1:18:10🔗
Adam
No, I'm fired up now. I want to go to San Francisco. We're going after the show. Road trip.
1:18:15🔗
All right.
1:18:19🔗
Yeah.
1:18:26🔗
Adam
Hey, Anderson. Cue up that airport airplane turbulence one. We'll hear it when we get back. Can we please? I'll look for it. Look for it, buddy. All right. We're going to take a quick break. Ron Livingston is here. The Cooler, name of his new project. Macy, Alec Baldwin and what's her nose. New York and Los Angeles probably have a wider release, too, once it's very successful in those large cities. And when we come back, my favorite public service announcement.
1:19:36🔗
Adam
Hey everybody, it's Love Line. Dr. Drew Ron Livingston is here tonight. The Cooler is the name of his latest film.
1:19:48🔗
Adam
Yeah, Maria Bello. Yeah, that's nice. I'm going to write that down. Next week, we got Joel from Good Charlotte is going to be in here. Mason Gray is going to be in here. Kathy Griffin is going to be here. Tori Amos is going to be in here. And look out, it's the only reason junior, junior producer Lauren works on this show.
1:20:12🔗
These are those gold dust moments.
1:20:20🔗
Adam
Oh, that she just believes. She doesn't always say what she believes in, but she's a dynamite lady. They haven't had her in here for a while.
1:20:36🔗
Adam
Yeah, that's rock and roll. Tori. Yeah, she takes all kinds. She's like the Jerry Lee Lewis with extensions.
1:20:51🔗
Adam
All right, then quiet. All right, we're David Allen Grier also, dear friend David Allen Grier will be in here on Thursday. All right, so now somebody says we're talking about PSA's public service announcements and how they should do ones that say don't eat all them antibiotics and make the strains very strong. But Rick says he heard one, Rick.
1:21:35🔗
I swear to God, I hear them every night.
1:22:02🔗
Adam
You're my favorite and most important, and this is what we're spending our tax dollars on by the way. Do you have it Anderson?
1:22:14🔗
Caller
It's built to withstand bending, pinching, stewing, swimming, bumping, tickling, shaving, childbirth...
1:22:52🔗
Caller
Can't make it. Oh, thank... All you have to do is wear your safety belt the entire time.
1:23:00🔗
Drew
He said that your body's not meant to withstand airplane turbulence. That should you hit some... Pocket? A bad air? Some continuous shock or turbulence... You would die?
1:23:23🔗
Adam
Drew, you must......integrate....over the years must have treated many, many patients for airplane turbulence.
1:23:43🔗
Drew
Adam, I flew last week and before the plane took off, this woman walked down the aisle with this strange clip.
1:23:57🔗
Drew
Well, I think that's what she did. Then this yellow thing fell down from the roof and she got into putting a mask in her mouth. Uh-huh.
1:24:09🔗
Drew
She didn't want to get on the loudspeaker and say, you know, if we hit some chop, safety belt, you'll disintegrate all of you. You'll be dead.
1:24:16🔗
Adam
All right. So you're saying on some airlines, they may give you a little heads up about what you're thinking about?
1:24:26🔗
Adam
Yeah, but airplane turbulence. I mean, the Americans that die each year, and internationally, I don't even want to know what that number is. Some experts put it as high as two and a half deaths. Each year for per 10 billion miles flown.
1:24:47🔗
Adam
The placard that will never go off and keeps blinking three feet in front of us. Not enough a heads up on the safety belt, or the chick running around with the safety belt, or the captain yelling to put the safety belt on.
1:25:03🔗
Adam
Are you just out? Are we living in the kind of utopia that this is what we have to focus our PSA dollars towards?
1:25:15🔗
Adam
Everything is done. Everything is so done that they're going to do a PSA about something that beat us over the goddamn head with every time we get in the F-ing plane.
1:25:26🔗
Adam
You never hear anything but the safety belt. I can't believe this thing has been made. I can't believe it's in rotation. Anderson, can you crush this thing? Can we destroy it? Can we burn it in some sort of ceremonial fire? It drives me insane that we sit here night after night and talk about what we think are important topics and they never get touched upon. Yeah, put that safety belt on when you get in the airplane as if somehow, oh, it could escape the mind of the pilot. The stewardess could not bring it up. Somehow, you wouldn't know about it. Really? Airplane turbulence. I'd just like to get my hands on the MFers who make this thing and go, give me some data on how many people were injured in flight turbulence last year. What do we got? Two? Three? Any deaths? Turbulence happens. How many deaths? I guarantee...
1:26:21🔗
Adam
It's zero. Zero. If there was a domestic death because of airplane turbulence in the last year, it'd be all over the news, right? Zero deaths. I guarantee there's more deaths in high school football in the state of Alabama each year than there are...
1:26:39🔗
Drew
Injuries. Than there are injuries with airplane turbulence. More deaths than injuries.
1:26:50🔗
Adam
I really would. I know it's just a VO gig for him. I'd still like to just smother him with the flotation pillow. Just hold him down and smother the life out of him with the flotation pillow. Just not built for it. And by the way, what is the strategy of picking a whole bunch of stuff your body really isn't meant for to use as an example against something that doesn't really exist? Really?
1:27:14🔗
Adam
Yeah. Then here's what they need to say. If they want to do one of these things, it's like, look, this is almost never going to happen. But if it does happen, you'll be really happy to put your belt on. And then you have to say that. Here's what the BS should be. When you go into the plane, listen to what the person's yelling at you over and over and over and over and over again. And when you fall asleep with it off and she comes by and waxing the arm, tells you to put it back on, don't yell at her too much. Yeah, that's it. Yeah. Don't get drunk and take a duke on any serving cards. That should be the PSA.
1:27:48🔗
Adam
All right. Well, why don't they give us a warning about gravity? We should obey the laws of gravity so when we're running, we don't start floating up and hit our head on a streetlight. How about that PSA? That'd be helpful. Just the same impact. Wouldn't it be about the same impact?
1:28:12🔗
That's right.
1:28:13🔗
Adam
Without that, we'd all just start going up till we got our heads caught in power lines.
1:28:21🔗
Get to work.
1:28:22🔗
Adam
You chimps. How dare you? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. No. Football. We're all meant to play. Wait a minute. Ask Daryl Stingley if you're meant to play football. He's in a wheelchair right now. Go ahead. Ask all the guys who have arthritic hips and knees and knee replacement. All the guys are keeled over at the 45. Go ask them all. All those ex-NFLers are hobbled. Yeah. They're all hobbled. Yeah.
1:28:47🔗
Adam
Go ask all the guys who have been paralyzed if your body's built boyoyoy to play football. Idiots. Idiots.
1:29:00🔗
Yes.
1:29:02🔗
Listen, you guys really got to get on with this.
1:29:05🔗
Caller
Dropping the seatbelt for the airplane and get on with this smoke detector battery replacement because that seriously will save lives.
1:29:17🔗
Adam
Yeah. All we hear about is all we hear every third person calls the show. We hear the chirp of the familiar chirp of the expired battery and the smoke detector that's been going on for nine years and no one will ever replace that. And that's not that PSA. Hey, Tards, replace the battery. That can't do that. Stuff that's out of people's reach when you're stupid. If it's higher than your head, it's gone. You can't deal with it. You just can't deal with it. If it, especially if you're a chick, if you're a chick and it's on the ceiling, it's done. You never touch it again. It's gone. It's gone. You could take, you take a stack of thousand dollar bills, put some gum on them, stick them to the ceiling. The woman just walk under it the whole time. Never, never.
1:30:07🔗
Ron Livingston
Or better yet, you get on the chair and you take the battery out completely to make the chirping stop.
1:30:11🔗
Adam
That's the other one they do. Yeah, that's, this is why we need the PSA. That's all I'm saying. Adam?
1:30:17🔗
Yeah.
1:30:19🔗
Caller
Yeah. What's up? I want to know if smoking too much marijuana for a long period of time can cause asthma.
1:30:27🔗
Drew
Interesting question. The initial, when you smoke pot initially, it can actually improve asthma. It can be very, very initially. If you were somebody that didn't smoke it regularly, some people reported improvement in airways, sort of a relaxation of the airways. Now after that acute initial exposure, it becomes an irritant and causes chronic bronchitis and an asthma-like syndrome and even possibly emphysema. So although there may be this single exposure benefit, it is not something you can take regularly and it does cause serious lung disease.
1:30:58🔗
Adam
Hey, have a good time. You're 16. You're invincible. That's going to be my PSA. Hey, you're 16. You're going to live forever, man. What could happen? And don't listen to the man because he's going to try to poison your mind.
1:31:15🔗
Adam
Anyone over 20, that's a man. So don't listen to him. If the coppers try to get in your way, you speed up. When the man pushes right, you go left.
1:31:26🔗
Adam
Yeah. By the way, I'm all for questioning, but not the authority. If you look up authority, it probably means a guy knows something about whatever it is you're questioning.
1:31:35🔗
Adam
Like, I don't know what you're going to do, go in, go in at, guys, so like, like, think about it, you have a guy fix your computer and you start questioning him.
1:31:43🔗
Drew
Right. Yeah. The rocket scientist that's setting the guys up on the rocket ship. Question that guy.
1:32:00🔗
Caller
I'm sure you guys already talked about it in that, in that last TSA, but when they do the rollerblading thing, if you listen to it, you can actually hear screeching tires and a horn.
1:32:16🔗
Caller
Pink has had the PSA out. I don't know if you guys have heard that, where she actually talks about the emergency contraceptive.
1:32:23🔗
Drew
Really? We should have talked to her about that. No, I didn't know that. That's great. Wow.
1:32:43🔗
Adam
All right, we'll do that, but it's a good point. That's true. That's Drew taking away. But they're not in the same room and it's not the same time. So all right, Ron Livingston is here tonight. The Kula, name of his latest joint. That's what we call it. New York, Los Angeles out as we speak. We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back.
1:33:49🔗
Adam
It's gonna be six years before he comes in again. Yeah, but last time he was here, he came like four times in a row. And then six years. He did TV show like twice, didn't you? Yeah, I came here pluggin Townies, and I think it was like two nights after it was canceled. Drew, remember when we went out pluggin Townies and we did that Florida college? Yeah, that was great.
1:33:56🔗
Adam
Yeah, go out Townie pluggin. I'm tellin ya, I still got the Townies magnet in my garage. Jenna Elfman, Molly Ringwald, All-Star Ron Livingston. Who else is in there? The guy who's currently on...
1:34:59🔗
Caller
Okay. I am dating someone and I can't decide whether or not I want to get serious with him because I've heard from a lot of my friends and other people that know him and I that he does Oxycontins a lot and he tells me that he doesn't, but I also don't know anyone else who doesn't. So I don't know what it's like.
1:35:18🔗
Drew
Well, that Oxycontin is not a part-time gig. That's something you're going to take all the time if you're going to get strung out on that. And it's very difficult to tell when somebody is on that drug, that you really behaviorally early on cannot tell.
1:35:33🔗
Drew
I didn't want to bring this up. But Veronica, about the only thing you can tell is the following. He'll have pinpoint pupils, very constricted pupils, even in a dark room.
1:35:46🔗
Drew
And if you believe there's something going on, there usually is. If you have a sense that he's not right.
1:35:52🔗
Adam
Also, when people do that thing where it's like, everyone says, everyone says and believe them, I always believe everything.
1:36:08🔗
Caller
Well, I don't know. A lot of my guy friends are saying it. So sometimes it leads me to believe that they just don't want me to be with.
1:36:22🔗
Adam
You're in Alaska. That means, you know, when you're calling from Alaska, you're a 19-year-old chick. You'd be a good solid three and a half or four. And you're the, you rule the roost over there, the bell, the ball, right?
1:36:35🔗
Adam
Yeah, that's smart. Smart. See, you're sassy. No, it's me. It's like, you know, Veronica, you're probably not the world's most attractive woman, right?
1:36:52🔗
Adam
But that's Alaskan cute. See, if you moved to Florida, you don't get that anymore. Stay in Alaska.
1:37:04🔗
Drew
Because you're living in Alaska. No, no, because you're attracted to a drug addict and that sort of seals it. That to me means the guy is an alcoholic addict. You would be attracted then to an alcoholic addict.
1:37:22🔗
Adam
A good time. And don't get hurt getting thrown up and down on that blanket made of seal skin. You know where they toss them up?
1:37:40🔗
Adam
North to Alaska. They do that. They run that on the commercial. Like, hey, come on down to Alaska. We will do this to you. It's like, I want a bunch of drunken Eskimos throwing me around with a smelly seal skin. Doesn't seem like, and if that's it, I ain't coming.
1:37:59🔗
Adam
It's like some fat tourists in the middle, bunch of drunken Eskimos. Oh, she's getting six feet off the ground.
1:38:53🔗
Drew
What was the emotional abuse about? Do you have an eating disorder? Do you have an eating disorder? All right, morning after bill works by suppressing ovulation. That was announced on the radio this morning. I felt so vindicated, you have no idea. And it works the same way as your birth control pill. It's just not as effective. You have about a 72-hour window, a three-day window to take this pill after an unprotected sexual encounter, and it will reduce the risk of pregnancy by about 70% by preventing an egg from being released.
1:39:29🔗
Drew
You can call 1-800-NOT-2, the number two, late. 1-800-NOT-2 late, and they can refer you to a pharmacy near you. I don't know if in Oklahoma, where you're calling from, that you can get it without a prescription. If not, you can call Planned Parenthood or any doctor in an emergency room. They will get your prescriptions, and you can get it at 16. You can have access to it confidentially in most states.
1:39:46🔗
Adam
Here's the whole thing. This pill has been around for quite some time. No one will get behind it. Everyone's trying to sort of suppress it.
1:39:57🔗
Adam
Yeah. Right. And the hypocrite... Who's against it? Let me tell you, okay. First off, here's basically what you have. You have the sort of hypocrite, right-wing, God-fearing, fantasy tards who say they're against abortion, but really what they're against is people getting laid, who aren't married, who aren't trying to procreate. And it all stems from them not getting any in high school and just being sort of bizarre and superstitious and retarded about their religion. Then you have the sort of left-wing who is for it, but they're such pussies, and everyone's so scared to step up and call these people idiots, by the way, with their talking about Jesus on the Christ, the Christ dying on the cross and all this. They're wusses, and playing parenthood, their heart is in the right place, but they're pussies and they're idiots, too. And they hire models to go to Congress and talk about stuff that they don't even know about. And they're just as stupid in their own well-meaning ways, the right-wing guys. Now, the right-wing guys you think would want to get rid of abortion because that's all they do is talk about, is getting rid of abortion.
1:41:05🔗
Adam
Well, they're not much into science because they think the planet's 2,000 years old. So they're not real scientists.
1:41:11🔗
Ron Livingston
I always thought that the whole political fight behind it was because it flushed out a viable, you know...
1:41:16🔗
Drew
That was what the people hide behind, was that when this procedure was invented 25 years ago, they thought maybe it works by preventing a fertilized egg from implanting, in which case it would be an abortion pill. They've since discovered it doesn't do that. It's no more likely to do that than your birth control pill taken the way you normally do, and as well as several anti-inflammatories like Vax and Celebrex. They all have a theoretic possibility of interfering with implantation. Now, if you're going to say that is unacceptable, we're going to have to do away with all the anti-inflammatories and all the birth control pills, that is a viable position. I understand that. If you feel that way, fine. That's not what they're saying. They're saying this product has to be eliminated because it can do that, but it can't do it any more likely than these other drugs. It works by preventing ovulation.
1:42:03🔗
Ron Livingston
Not to mention all the times that that just naturally, that implantation naturally fails.
1:42:08🔗
Adam
Yeah, but look, these people aren't interested in facts. If they were interested in facts, they wouldn't be, they wouldn't be able to follow the retarded religion that they're following because that screws up their religion. So that's facts and science not a strong suit for these folks. They're more interested in preaching and judging. And they like the idea of having free sex. You get laid, you don't use a condom and pow, you take a pill and it's gone. They don't, that doesn't sit well with them. Instead of admitting that, they just say this is abortion and they move on and they have Congress in their pocket and everyone's an idiot and everyone's a pussy and nobody stands up and no one carries it. Now they get more and more abortions. Fantastic. You got what you want. I'll see you in hell.
1:42:45🔗
Caller
Okay, so I know there's nothing wrong with me. So what's up? I called the dateline and I hooked up with some cool people. 877-889-DATE.
1:43:35🔗
Adam
Well, that's the show, The Great Ron Livingston. I want to thank him for coming in here tonight.
1:43:41🔗
Adam
And you've come back. He's got some new movies coming out, and the man is, career is picking up momentum, as is everyone who was in Townies. It's the anti-curse of the Townies cast. Yeah, except for Molly Ringle. All right, so you come in and you plug away. Next time, one of these movies hits the theater. Love to, man. The Cooler is the name of the movie that's out in New York and LA. Go out and see that.
1:44:09🔗
Adam
Happy Thanksgiving. Want to thank Terry Don't Call Me Tar, God damn it. And Brian, phone screener Brian, engineer Chris, Junior, producer, Lauren, producer, Ann, and the Liberace of the Potentiometers, engineer Anderson. So until next time, this is Adam Carolla for Dr. Drew saying, Mahalo, Washington, NBC. Right, where are you?
1:44:38🔗
Caller
This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors or this station. The producer for Loveline is Annie Gold. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.