Tuesday, November 4, 2003

0:55🔗 Voiceover Loveline may contain sexually oriented content.

0:58🔗 Voiceover The listener discretion is advised.

1:00🔗 Love Line with Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew.

1:06🔗 Voiceover Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191, Dr. Drew. Board Certified Physician, Addiction Medicine Specialist. Chris and Johnny are here tonight from the Ataris.

1:16🔗 Drew Hello.

1:16🔗 Adam Good to see you again. The guys were here in March. Drew felt like it was earlier than that.

1:23🔗 Drew I think it's because I saw you guys at the Weenie Roast.

1:25🔗 Adam Yeah. So, Drew knows the Ataris.

1:28🔗 Drew I know the Ataris.

1:29🔗 Adam He knows they're almost from Santa Barbara.

1:32🔗 Drew Sort of from Santa Barbara.

1:33🔗 Adam Sort of from Santa Barbara. The Ataris are going to be at the Palladium. That is coming up Friday? Saturday.

1:40🔗 The Ataris Friday.

1:40🔗 Adam This Friday.

1:41🔗 Drew November 7th.

1:42🔗 Adam Man, we're moving now, baby.

1:44🔗 Drew The show?

1:45🔗 Adam No, just time-wise.

1:45🔗 Drew Oh, yeah.

1:46🔗 Adam The show's dragging like hell, but the calendar, you know what I mean?

1:51🔗 Drew Yeah, because it was summer three days ago.

1:53🔗 Adam That's what it was. Yeah, I went from like a Lipton commercial where I'm wiping the back of my neck and looking up at the sun and then tilling the soil and looking back up at the sun to wearing my PJs and humming Christmas tunes and thinking about candy canes and sugar plum fairies. This is great. I got a little fire going. You know what I told the wife tonight? I told her to deploy the electric blanket. Oh, yes. Now it's official.

2:25🔗 Drew It's winter.

2:26🔗 Adam Let me tell you guys something. I know you think we're going to talk about the Ataris, but Ataris.

2:32🔗 Drew We already knew that. We needed couches and heated accoutrements.

2:34🔗 Adam What is wrong with the heated sofa? The heated sofa. I shouldn't be talking about this on the air. They don't exist. Oh, no, no. The winter, we have a good over here. You guys just got off the road. You're in Des Moines and where else?

2:52🔗 The Ataris We were in the Northwest, so it was cold. You guys were having a heat wave and we were going through the worst cold.

3:00🔗 Adam It's not even game on there yet. I mean, Des Moines is going to get down into the sub-zeros, right? Okay, now you got the heat going, the whole house blowing, bellowing heat into every room. Upstairs, bathroom, it's spread out in the entry halls, it's all over the place. Your fat ass is parked on the sofa. For me, on a Friday night, 9, 10, 14 hours, going nowhere, just numbing myself with booze, watching the TiVo. That's all, right? Why do I have to heat the entire complex? Do you see what I'm saying? Heated sofa. Heated sofa.

3:37🔗 The Ataris Well, they have those heated chairs in the cars, you know?

3:41🔗 Adam Yeah, and let me say, I'm glad you bring this up, because people, I cite this, because people argue with me, and what's wrong with everybody, Drew, that they're so stupid and contrary at the same time? Where I say, well, what's wrong, and they go, well, we don't have the tec-dot. What about your car, you jackass, you're going 90 miles an hour, your ass is on fire. You can work that out.

4:02🔗 Drew Hey, Adam, I just got an email brought to me by crack producer, Ann, who is from, it's from Jason Ives, and he says, sorry, Adam, I had bad news. I was dog sitting, and these people, these people I was sitting for had a lazy boy sofa that was heated.

4:18🔗 Adam Yeah, but it's not a real sofa. I mean, it's got like a foot kick on it or something. Is it just a regular, because I've looked for a regular sofa that was heated.

4:28🔗 Drew Like a piece of furniture.

4:29🔗 Adam Yeah, I don't want one that weighs 70,000 pounds and has like a screw mechanism in it and stuff. You know what I mean?

4:36🔗 Like something you can get in Ikea.

4:38🔗 Adam Yeah, I want. You put it together. Here's what I want. I want about.

4:41🔗 Drew Interior design.

4:42🔗 Adam I want a hundred and seventy five dollar option on almost any sofa that you buy.

4:46🔗 Drew Right.

4:47🔗 Adam Oh, you know, you want it, you want a six hundred or it's seven seventy five at the heating element. Let's step it up. Step it up and put the lube dispenser in the arm. And tissues. Tissue and lube dispenser. Throw that in and a scotch guard. Oh, yeah. Both sides. Both sides. Just trust me. All right. So palladium Friday night. What can the kids expect?

5:15🔗 The Ataris The palladium?

5:17🔗 Adam And anywhere the Atari.

5:18🔗 The Ataris Security that will frisk you down and like beat you senseless when you come through the door that rivals any high school and like the south central area, I suppose. No, I don't know. It was a good place. I mean, it was it was the venue in the Blues Brothers movie. So was kind of like, yeah, at the end of the movie, that's you can always tell by that telltale kind of like long. There's this long like wooden part of the stage that comes out.

5:40🔗 Adam It's like a peninsula that comes out right there. And it has a balcony. All right.

5:44🔗 The Ataris The sides. Yeah.

5:45🔗 Adam Orange Whip. Orange Whip. All the way around. Yeah. I love that. I didn't know that was the Palladium. I guess now it's ruined for me. I thought it was in Chicago somewhere.

5:54🔗 The Ataris That's the way it's supposed to be.

5:55🔗 Adam But you know, the thing is, is do they have shows at the Palladium for, you know, old folks? Palladium. What happened to the Palladium? What was the Palladium?

6:07🔗 Drew I don't know.

6:07🔗 Adam Where'd it go?

6:08🔗 Drew You look it up on the web?

6:10🔗 Adam Roller derby over there or something?

6:12🔗 Drew No, look it up.

6:13🔗 Adam Well, find out what goes on. Because let me tell you, I've been outside. I live around there and I've driven past that place after a couple of shows have let out. It's frightening.

6:22🔗 The Ataris Scores of Iraq?

6:23🔗 Drew It's like a pirate ship unloaded.

6:25🔗 Adam Pirate ship's just unloaded. Just a bunch of crazy Mohawk goth kids. I got to roll the windows up, Drew, and lock the door and put the seat heater on. All right, but that's just the crowd you're looking for, Friday Night.

6:38🔗 The Ataris No, our demographic's probably much younger than that. But I suppose that you'll have a few Mohawk goth kids that are in the mix as well.

6:46🔗 Adam They look like trouble from where I was, Drew. Who, me? No, no, the Palladium kids.

6:51🔗 The Ataris They're just confused.

6:52🔗 Adam Drew, get on. We're going to find out what year do you think that Palladium is.

6:55🔗 The Ataris You were going by the Danzig show that happens there.

6:58🔗 Adam What was the Danzig Halloween show? 50s. 40s, 50s. 50s? It was probably like Guy Lombardo playing there, right, back in the day?

7:08🔗 Drew It has a little Art Deco feel inside, but outside it's very 50s. All right.

7:12🔗 Adam Well, we're going to work that out. This is good radio when you do a national radio show.

7:15🔗 Drew Yeah, of course. Focus on a local landmark.

7:17🔗 The Ataris They're like, what the hell is this palladium thing?

7:20🔗 Adam Well, it's the Blues Brothers. That's what it is. Chris? You're 19? You never did see the Blues Brothers movie, did you? And listen, this is something I've been working on. I'm going to tell you to see it. And so is Chris and Johnny from the Ataris. And so, Drew, you ever see Blues Brothers? We're all going to tell you to see it, but you're not going to see it. I know how you are.

7:48🔗 The Ataris You'll see Blues Brothers 2000.

7:50🔗 Adam It's called the Blues Brothers?

7:53🔗 Drew Don't even.

7:55🔗 Adam Hold on a second.

7:56🔗 Drew I know.

7:57🔗 Adam I know. But wait a minute. What is this? Why is everyone so young?

8:00🔗 Drew Okay.

8:00🔗 Adam Let me just ask what's going on for just one second. Then we're going back to the phones.

8:04🔗 Drew There's a generation gap, Adam.

8:05🔗 Adam I know.

8:05🔗 Drew You're part of it.

8:06🔗 Adam I know. We were laughing about that last night. But look, here's the deal. When I was younger, when I was in my teens, the whole idea was if you hadn't heard of something to pretend like you did or to like, oh, yeah, oh, no, I'm hip. No, I know that. Like when I was 19, I was trying to be hip to all the older bands and know about. No, no, no. I'm not talking about Dale Shannon in The Runaways or Dale Shannon or whoever the hell is with or whatever that is. I'm talking about stuff like Frank Zappa. No, I didn't know anything about Frank Zappa when I was 19, but I had to be cool.

8:41🔗 Drew Oh, you know, Frank's trying to keep up with the doors, Hendrix, stuff like that.

8:44🔗 Adam Trying to keep up with that.

8:45🔗 Drew Absolutely.

8:46🔗 Adam OK, so now and the same with movies. If you told me about the Manchurian candidate when I was 19, I would have won. Oh, yeah, no, that's cool. No, I want to see that.

8:55🔗 The Ataris And then you go check it. Try to check it out.

8:57🔗 Adam Yeah, hit myself up a little bit. So next time.

8:59🔗 The Ataris Some people are like that.

9:00🔗 Adam Some people know now you're an asshole. It's like, no, I haven't heard of that. What are you, old guy? And it's like, oh, it's a funny movie. Whatever. And now you're jackass because you know something like before. The guy who didn't know the stuff was an a-hole. Now the guy who knows the stuff is an a-hole.

9:18🔗 The Ataris No, I totally feel like that. I mean, I'm only 26. And we go through that with like bands that we grew up listening to or that would kind of influence our band.

9:25🔗 Drew But again, in our day, we would have gone, somebody we admired, we would have gone, I'm going to check that out. First of all, pretend I know it and then get caught on to it.

9:32🔗 Adam Another part is people have even heard of it. That's the other thing. Like I would have went like, oh, Mahogany Rush. Those guys, I know that.

9:43🔗 Those guys are cool.

9:44🔗 Adam That guy's cool. Those two guys are cool. One of those guys is cool. And then I want to go on and ask somebody what the hell that was. You see what I'm saying? Everyone's pissy about everything.

9:57🔗 Drew What's up, Chris?

9:59🔗 Adam You're going to see, you never heard of the Blues Brothers?

10:07🔗 Drew They came from a movie. There was a movie.

10:09🔗 The Ataris There was a movie.

10:10🔗 Adam Fat, dead guy.

10:11🔗 Caller It's a heavy set guy that sings.

10:16🔗 Drew His brother's got a TV show now. You know his brother.

10:19🔗 Adam You know his brother. All right, so anyway, funny movie to rent. No scary movie three, but...

10:26🔗 Drew That cinematic triumph. How dare you?

10:30🔗 Adam What's up there, Chris?

10:32🔗 Caller Well, I am a long time listener. And I've noticed that a lot of people call and they have questions about how they can't orgasm. And my question is, I couldn't orgasm for like a year that I had sex, and then I started to have sex with somebody new, and I orgasmed every single time and really fast.

10:56🔗 Adam It's good. Make sure the old guy knows about this.

11:00🔗 Caller But I mean, like, it was any kind of sex that we had, like, you know what I mean, anything that we would do.

11:09🔗 Adam Okay, but how long a period of time was this between the two guys?

11:13🔗 Caller That we were together.

11:14🔗 Adam Well, I mean, you had no orgasms with the one guy. From when to when? And then you went to the next guy.

11:20🔗 Yeah, I was with the first guy for a year.

11:23🔗 Drew How old were you?

11:23🔗 Caller And then I moved out of the country for another year. And I had a boyfriend over there in Spain.

11:29🔗 Drew Was this the guy?

11:30🔗 Adam This is the orgasm guy.

11:33🔗 Caller The orgasm guy is in Spain.

11:38🔗 Adam The mark of horror. Big W on the chest, written in, I don't want to say what. But here's the point. I'm going to ask again, what was the period of time in between the two boyfriends? Nine months.

11:57🔗 Drew You were getting older.

11:59🔗 Adam Things can change from what, 17 to 18 there, something like that? Also, I've been in this position of the first guy, and I rationalize it, I loosened it up. I chipped away, I loosened it up, and this guy came and just fell right out.

12:13🔗 The Ataris Is there something you feel that maybe happened to you in that time that made you more comfortable with yourself?

12:18🔗 Caller Yeah, I did a lot of changing, like, self-esteem wise. And I really started to just be comfortable with myself. I don't know if that was it, or if I was really into my past.

12:29🔗 Drew It also means you'll pick a guy you're more into, and you know, it really does turn you on.

12:33🔗 Caller Okay, so like in the future, it wasn't just that one guy.

12:40🔗 The Ataris I think all in all, if you find somebody you're really comfortable with, then, you know, I imagine it would probably be just as good as that guy. Maybe you just finally found someone you felt like you could actually click with, and, you know, that's probably all it was.

12:52🔗 Drew Sure didn't hurt that he was Spanish.

12:54🔗 The Ataris That's true, man. What are we doing in Spain?

12:58🔗 Adam Going to school there?

12:59🔗 The Ataris She's running with the bulls.

13:03🔗 Caller At 18, yeah.

13:04🔗 Drew With college? University of Oregon?

13:12🔗 Adam Oh, okay. Good time. Kick my dad in the nuts next time I see him. Everyone's going everywhere, doing everything.

13:23🔗 Drew You just sit at home with them in your house.

13:24🔗 Adam You know where I went when I was, you know where my field trip was, Drew?

13:27🔗 Drew Ventura Boulevard.

13:28🔗 Adam No, Laurie Seasoning Plant in Eagle Rock. That was my one field trip. Here's a packet of taco seasoning.

13:35🔗 Fantastic.

13:36🔗 Adam Beautiful. You guys been out to Eagle Rock? God's country out there. It's beautiful.

13:40🔗 That's what Laurie is.

13:41🔗 Adam It's nestled between Glendale and Burbank.

13:45🔗 Drew Nestled between the trail, the train yards, the freeway and the industrial area.

13:50🔗 Adam And the LA. River.

13:51🔗 The Ataris We recorded out near there, but I passed on the Lowry's Seasoning Salt Crackers.

13:57🔗 Adam Picture-esque. Unless you've seen Eagle Rock in August, you haven't left. That's just a soupy air.

14:04🔗 Drew That's not even Eagle Rock. That's that riverside area.

14:06🔗 Adam It's right next to the crappy LA. River. And LA. River is just... Here's what LA. River is.

14:10🔗 Drew Cement.

14:11🔗 Adam It's a cement drag strip with a shopping cart in it.

14:14🔗 The Ataris I mostly think of that scene in Grease where there's a grease lightning thing.

14:18🔗 Drew Any crazy speed scene you've seen on a big cement open space was the LA.

14:23🔗 Adam River. That's right. But they sort of do it in the clear areas. They're sort of mush and swamp and crap in the other areas.

14:31🔗 Drew All right.

14:32🔗 Adam Beautiful country. Kyle?

14:34🔗 Yeah?

14:35🔗 Adam You're 16?

14:36🔗 Caller Yeah.

14:37🔗 Adam What's up?

14:39🔗 Caller My current girlfriend is an ex-lesbian. And lately she's been hanging out with one of my friends who's bisexual.

14:51🔗 Drew Female?

14:55🔗 Caller And she'll spend long periods of time over at her house with her cell phone turned off. And they'll constantly spend the night at each other's houses.

15:07🔗 Drew That is two trauma survivors getting together and creating some chaos. That's what that is.

15:12🔗 Adam Two chicks, right?

15:13🔗 Drew But two bisexual girls. One used to be a lesbian but was magically attracted to the bisexual. This is chaos.

15:21🔗 Adam Everyone was molested. So what? What's your girlfriend's problem?

15:28🔗 Caller I wonder if I should be worried if she might be cheating on me or something.

15:32🔗 Adam Yeah.

15:33🔗 Drew I assume that's your word is the right word.

15:34🔗 The Ataris How old's your girlfriend?

15:37🔗 Adam She's 17. Where's her dad?

15:43🔗 Caller Where's her dad? He's here.

15:47🔗 The Ataris With you right now?

15:48🔗 Caller No, no, I mean...

15:49🔗 Adam It's not on the other line, Giggler.

15:51🔗 Caller No, I mean, he lives with her.

15:53🔗 Adam We're having a slumber party.

15:56🔗 Drew He lives where?

15:57🔗 Caller He lives with her.

15:58🔗 Adam He lives with her. That's her biological father? She gets along well with him? All right. She... Does she seem troubled at all?

16:13🔗 Caller Not really. She... On occasion, she cusses someone out.

16:22🔗 Adam Well, we all have our moments. Hey, Kyle.

16:25🔗 Caller Yeah.

16:25🔗 Adam Listen, here's what I'm going to ask you to do. I think we're all going to ask you to do. Don't get her pregnant.

16:30🔗 Drew Yes, please.

16:32🔗 Adam Are you using any form of protection?

16:34🔗 Caller Yeah.

16:35🔗 Drew What?

16:36🔗 Caller Our condoms.

16:38🔗 Drew Keep them on you have to pull around just in case there's a problem. Even Trojans break once in a while.

16:42🔗 Adam And there's going to be a lot of... A fall off. You're not... At 16, you're not equipped to deal with a 17-year-old bisexual who's sort of bringing a little chaos into a relationship that may have been running smoothly. So it's like, well, how do you infuse these people with this knowledge? I don't know. What do you tell them? A, don't get them pregnant. B, one thing, start getting a little shaky, jump off. Because it's just, it's going to spiral and she's definitely a chaotic person. All right.

17:10🔗 Drew Agreed.

17:11🔗 Adam And look, there's nothing, I mean, if you don't get it, if you don't get her pregnant and you don't kill yourself and you don't get the HIV, there's nothing, the time won't heal. You'll get past everything.

17:24🔗 Drew Right. Although this guy may be attracted to more chaos as time goes on.

17:28🔗 Adam Yeah. So that's a new broad.

17:28🔗 Drew Other kid.

17:29🔗 Adam Well, that's fine. That's life and that's exciting.

17:32🔗 Drew That is interesting though, isn't it? The guys that need the chaotic women don't outgrow it. Women that need the unavailable men usually outgrow it and when they don't outgrow it, it means something.

17:40🔗 Adam Yeah, but some.

17:41🔗 Drew In other words, guys, when they start with this, they stay with it.

17:44🔗 Adam But sometimes it's just a guy who's got a 17-year-old and when you're 16 and there's a 17-year-old willing to have sex with you, that's pretty, it's pretty good news.

17:52🔗 Drew It's whatever.

17:52🔗 Adam I mean, you're sucked in, you're not so picky as to worry about her personality.

17:57🔗 Drew Yeah, but if you start getting really involved with it, then you've declared a major at that point.

18:06🔗 Adam You have a Germany or Florida for us? I certainly do. Let me explain to the fellas. We, when I say we, I mean everybody over at Jimmy Kimmel Live, all the writers and everything, started to discover in our search for bizarre news that all evil, bizarre evil came out of either Germany or Florida. So we started playing this game at the lunch table over at Jimmy's, which was some guy would just pipe up, you know, before he does his talking points, Germany or Florida, and then everyone would guess. They swore they were going to do it on a show, but it's been six months, so screw them.

18:44🔗 The Ataris That's pretty hot, though, because we always notice the same thing about Germany, especially. It's like the people there, you know, they're really cool, but it's always like, yeah, I really like your show, but I came to see the Vandals, you know, that's typical, typical Germany. As I like we were hanging out before, like before one of our shows there, I'm like, you know, it was his first time over because he joined our band a couple of years ago. I'm like, you know, just, you know, watch out, Germany is really cool, you know, but just the people sometimes it's like they can't give a compliment without killing it immediately afterwards. He's like, what do you mean? And then sure enough, the guy came up and did that. He's like, I'll be damned.

19:14🔗 Drew Yeah, I didn't know all of the all of our callers lived in Germany. Loveline callers.

19:17🔗 Adam We, yeah, I know. You know, my brother-in-law is from Germany, he's got a little of that in him, too.

19:23🔗 I wonder what that is.

19:25🔗 Drew Anyway, so think how much of that we get on this show, though.

19:28🔗 Adam Yeah, yeah. This is a worldwide epidemic where they screw you with it, because they start with half a compliment and finish with a full put down.

19:36🔗 The Ataris I've listened to the show and I hear people do it all the time and be like, yeah, they fully, I don't even want to, you guys hear it more than I do.

19:43🔗 Adam It's painful. It really is painful.

19:45🔗 Drew But here we go. So, Jay has brought us on some...

19:47🔗 Adam Germany or Florida? Here we go.

19:50🔗 All right. Two women are sitting in their home one night when all of a sudden they're watching TV and all of a sudden a man bursts into their home, pulls out a revolver, points it at them and says, you better do something really smart or you're both going to die. So one of them gets up, goes to the kitchen, makes them a sandwich, gets them a glass of rum. They sit him down, they talk with him for a while, they watch some TV. They say, well, why don't you get a shower or something? He says, it's all right, fine, but he comes back every other minute or so. Make sure they're not calling the cops or doing anything to turn him in. So he takes his shower. He comes in, he puts on some clean clothes, sits around for a while. They talk to him. They keep pouring him some rum. He winds up passing out, lies lying there, passing out on the couch. They call the cops.

20:33🔗 Drew Florida.

20:35🔗 Adam Sounds like Florida. The rum part sounds slightly German.

20:38🔗 Drew Yeah, with this rum down.

20:40🔗 Adam Yeah, they do a lot of that rumming.

20:42🔗 The Ataris Come over there.

20:43🔗 Adam Yeah, you're right. Yeah, you're right. You're right. Rye. Rye might have been a German.

20:48🔗 The Ataris Jimmy Buffett.

20:50🔗 Adam Sure.

20:52🔗 Drew No, I think I'm doing Florida.

20:53🔗 We're going.

20:53🔗 Adam Should we go Florida?

20:54🔗 The Ataris Yeah.

20:55🔗 Adam We all concur. Florida.

20:57🔗 You got it. You guys.

21:00🔗 Adam True. What are we? On Germany.

21:03🔗 Drew Nearly 100%. Nearly a complete success.

21:08🔗 Adam I think I've got one wrong out of about 15.

21:10🔗 Drew I think we got two flat out wrong and one you got wrong because we talked you out of it.

21:14🔗 Adam Let me explain something. When we see program director Kevin Weatherly after the pilgrimage to Yorba Linda on Saturday, don't tell him I'm 20 out of 21.

21:26🔗 Drew Why?

21:26🔗 Adam Because he'll get pissed. He'll be like, what? What are you guys doing?

21:29🔗 Drew Oh, yeah.

21:29🔗 Adam Just tell him, like, one for one. We did it once.

21:32🔗 Drew Don't even bring it up.

21:33🔗 Adam All right. Don't bring it up.

21:34🔗 The Ataris I just got it, I think, because I figured the Germans wouldn't have invited them in to drink free rum. No, no, no free rum for you.

21:43🔗 Adam They would have given them a half a backhanded compliment and then charge him for the rum.

21:48🔗 The Ataris Beat him with a schnitzel grower.

21:49🔗 Adam I can't figure out those Germans. I'll tell you what, like my, you know, they're proud people for the most part. But then I got my brother-in-law when we played basketball, where's my tennis shoes? He doesn't even say anything. He just comes running out on the court in them. Yeah. That's very non-German. And let me tell you something about the Germans too. Crazy rims on the glasses and everything, funkified shoes.

22:12🔗 Drew These are German.

22:13🔗 Adam Crazy. Who decided that they had to be totally straight laced except for the glasses and the shoes? And crazy weird, like guys, guys in sort of weird, you know, you know what kind of shoes they wear in Germany? Adult men wear those schoolboy shoes from like the 40s, you know, weird, those weird those weird Hitler use sandals, one strap and kind of weird. A lot of guys sporting the clogs these days. And that's not just German, but I've seen some of my friends in clogs as we got to put an end to this.

22:44🔗 Drew There was a, there's a way of like people are really eighties.

22:47🔗 Adam It'd be like, oh, they're comfortable. Yeah. Why don't you pull your sack out of your pants too and let it breathe. Yeah, that's comfortable. That's great. Why don't you start beating off?

22:57🔗 Drew When is walking on wood blocks comfortable? I don't, I don't, it doesn't go from, no.

23:02🔗 Adam No, I'm with you. I'm with you. I would like to squelch this whole guys and clogs thing. And look, here's the only way we can do it. You have to make fun of the guy in the clogs. That's how you do it. We could have gotten rid of ponytails and big turquoise bracelets. We could have got rid of fanny packs. We could have got rid of anything. If your friends would just do the right thing. Of course. And start humiliating these people. All right. Now look, we talked too much, Drew. We can't hear an Ataris song. Drew, go look up the Palladium. The Ataris are going to be at the Palladium this Friday. The Stork Palladium. All you youngsters can see where they filmed the Blues Brothers.

23:42🔗 Caller If you haven't even heard of it.

23:44🔗 Adam They have. They had to have. So we'll take a quick break. John and Chris here. We'll hear a song when we come back. Loveline.

23:58🔗 Caller Three hour. Two Americans under the age of 25 are infected with HIV.

24:02🔗 Adam Protect yourself.

24:03🔗 Caller Call toll free, 1-866-344-K-N-O-W.

24:23🔗 Adam It's Love Line. Tenacious D in here on Thursday, Jack Black and Kyle Gass, I believe it is. The Ataris here tonight, Chris and Johnny, both here from the band. Going to hear something off the CD, so long a story, and also let you know that they're going to be playing in the historic Hollywood Palladium this Friday. Drew, yes?

24:48🔗 Drew Yes, I'm now a leading expert in the history of the Palladium. As a matter of fact, it opened September 23, 1942, Frank Sinatra and Tommy Dorsey. 1961, used as Lawrence Welk's ongoing television studio.

25:00🔗 Adam Wow, a lot of history. Don't let it down over there.

25:03🔗 The Ataris We'll do our best.

25:04🔗 Adam You got the ghost of Frank and Lawrence.

25:07🔗 The Ataris We actually played Las Vegas the night that Frank Sinatra died, and they turned out all the lights on the strip. Oh, really? So it was a little ironic thing going on.

25:14🔗 Drew For how long did they do that?

25:15🔗 The Ataris I think just for a minute, they turned off all the lights.

25:17🔗 Drew How did they turn the entire thing on?

25:20🔗 The Ataris I don't think in the casinos, they were like people grabbing chips.

25:23🔗 Drew But how do they pull off just the signs and the exit outside the hotel?

25:27🔗 Adam Well, they must talk to all the individual casinos and say...

25:30🔗 The Ataris There's got to be some guy with Slumlord Hotel, like, I'm not turning up my damn light.

25:35🔗 Drew You see this big switch right here?

25:37🔗 Adam Yeah, one giant novelty size switch.

25:40🔗 The Ataris Well, they call the guy Hoover Dam or whatever, like, hey, just cut the power for a minute.

25:45🔗 Adam Yeah, they must... Well, first off, all those hotels must have some atomic clock or something that's exactly right, right? And then they must tell them at exactly 10 p.m. Pacific time, flip the thing for one minute or something like that. But it's good times, right?

26:05🔗 Drew Only 40 car accidents. I remember saying when the Sands had a motel.

26:10🔗 Adam Oh, really?

26:10🔗 Drew That's of course where we would stay.

26:12🔗 Adam Of course.

26:12🔗 Drew And that sign would go 24-7.

26:15🔗 Adam Yeah. Your family was cheap, right?

26:17🔗 Drew That's a sign that's been gone for 40 years.

26:19🔗 Adam Cheap, Drew. Cheap. But at least you would go somewhere.

26:21🔗 Drew That's right.

26:24🔗 Adam Camp in my backyard. Well, I mean, I mean, the Laurie Seasoning Plant. You got to count that. You have to count that. I tell you, kids, your kids must be getting that age where they're going nuts for seasoning.

26:38🔗 Drew Well, yeah.

26:39🔗 Adam They're 10 years old.

26:40🔗 Drew They want to go to the Lowry's.

26:41🔗 Adam They want to go to Lowry's. They went to Tacos Seas. They went to Cayenne Pepper.

26:45🔗 Drew Who made this a good one?

26:47🔗 The Ataris Every time we drive to Phoenix, we always pass the Snyder's Plant.

26:52🔗 Adam Oh, yeah. Don't they have shillings, too?

26:54🔗 The Ataris Make those pretzels.

26:56🔗 Adam Yeah, shillings is a nice spice, too. Don't get the kids whipped up too early with that stuff. They'll peak. It's just downhill. That's what happened to me once I left the Lowry Seasoning Tour. I spiraled down for years and eventually got into drugs. That's the only thing that replaced that emptiness of the taco season. Of course, of course. Reva. Reva? Hey.

27:19🔗 What's up, Adam?

27:20🔗 Adam What's happening, Reva?

27:22🔗 I'm just up here bored. I had a question for Drew. I was wondering what Asperger's Syndrome was. I heard you mentioned it in passing about maybe two weeks ago. And they're about to send me up to Duluth to get evaluated for it, but nobody's giving me a straight answer on what it is.

27:40🔗 Drew It's a relative of autism.

27:43🔗 Adam Oh, good times.

27:44🔗 It's like autism?

27:46🔗 The Ataris Like Rain Man, you know, yeah, yeah, yeah, definitely 20,000.

27:50🔗 Drew Asperger's, yeah. It's a hard thing for me to define easily, but just one of the common qualities is a lack of ability to sort of take and understand social cues. Let's put it that way, to understand what other people are experiencing, social contagion.

28:08🔗 Adam Like right now, Drew's really horny, but you couldn't tell. I mean, we know it. We can feel it.

28:16🔗 But it's like really confusing because like people, this is the first time they said I had it.

28:23🔗 Drew Some people think Einstein had Asperger's.

28:24🔗 Yeah, but they've also said they think I have borderline personality disorder, and they've said I had ADHD and it's like, it's kind of getting kind of annoying, you know? And plus, what are you going to say?

28:40🔗 Adam Well, let's ask a couple of questions. You're 16. Drew, what's that thing where your skin gets all stretchy? I like that one.

28:47🔗 Drew Well, there's a few of those.

28:48🔗 Adam What's a good one?

28:49🔗 Drew Ehlers-Danlos syndrome.

28:51🔗 Adam You should have that too.

28:52🔗 Drew This is where the guy can pull a make up like a...

28:54🔗 Adam Yeah, make yourself into like a flying squirrel.

28:57🔗 Drew Right.

28:59🔗 Adam So, hey, Reva. You're from Minnesota. You don't sound like you're from Minnesota.

29:06🔗 Well, I've been here all my life, so.

29:08🔗 Adam You are. What color are you?

29:09🔗 I'm black.

29:11🔗 Adam I'll just check it. I didn't know. Drew, does that have any racial lines or anything? These diseases? Now, she doesn't sound like she's anything close to Down syndrome.

29:21🔗 Drew No, no.

29:22🔗 Adam Well, you said this... I said autism... .our autism. It doesn't sound anything close to autism.

29:27🔗 Drew Well, Asperger's is different. Again, there's lots of different features and different intensities of that. Einstein may have had Asperger's. How do you do in school?

29:35🔗 Adam Bill Gates may have Asperger's. Bill Gates? All the successful outcasts have it. Do you do well in school?

29:42🔗 I'm not in school. I got kicked out.

29:45🔗 Adam For doing what?

29:46🔗 I beat up my gym teacher and she was in the hospital for three days. That's why I'm getting court-ordered up here.

29:52🔗 Adam Wow.

29:52🔗 Drew Don't you think that was a bad thing?

29:53🔗 Adam Man, they're coming down on everybody these days.

29:55🔗 Caller I didn't really care. I think he deserved it on a personal level.

29:59🔗 Adam Sure.

29:59🔗 Drew That's what I'm saying.

30:00🔗 Caller But they're like giving me all this sympathy because I'm partially blind. They were going to send me like boot camp but my probation officer stopped it.

30:07🔗 Adam All right. Well, now.

30:08🔗 Drew This may be more than borderline or as purpose. Oh, Lord.

30:11🔗 Adam Hey, Reva. Yeah. Well, you're fairly jovial about putting your gym coach in the hospital.

30:19🔗 Drew Part of it. Part of it. Part of it.

30:22🔗 Adam Part of it. Part of it. Part of it.

30:26🔗 Drew Part of it.

30:26🔗 Adam Part of it. I'm putting myself into a stupor right now.

30:29🔗 Drew Not Reva, she's feeling good about it. Sociopathy.

30:33🔗 Adam Hey, Reva. What did she do that made you go off on her that way?

30:38🔗 Caller She woke me up. Well, she didn't wake me up. She thought I was asleep, and she pulled my chair away, and she's just kind of been getting on my nerves like the past three years. I just decided to give her what I thought she deserved.

30:50🔗 Adam And you know, that's a double-edged sword about being a gym coach, which is if you train your students well enough, they can kick your ass. Part of it. Part of it. Part of it.

31:02🔗 Drew Part of it. Part of it. Part of it. Part of it. Part of it. Part of it.

31:07🔗 Adam Part of it. Part of it.

31:12🔗 The Ataris I have a good quick story here. My friend, he used to have this friend in college that could sleep with his eyes open. So he would always affix himself in one part of the room where the professor would teach. So finally one day, the professor caught on, and he saw that he was just sitting here like this with his eyes open towards the side of the room. And he was like, ah, Michael is going to sleep with his eyes open. So what everyone did is they all walked out of the room, they set the clocks all forward, and then they slammed the door real hard as they walked out. And so the guy woke up and he starts beating on the door, like, let me out, let me out. And wow, that's that's pretty brilliant, man. I can never sleep and sitting up or in class. We had this roadie one time that he could, you know, we went. We flew to Australia and he was like, fell asleep, passed out same position. And when he woke up, John's like, hey, we just we just left. We're taking off.

31:59🔗 Adam He's like, screw you. I marvel. And I'm so envious.

32:04🔗 Drew I know Adam can't sleep, period.

32:06🔗 Adam Now Jimmy can do that. Jimmy can. Jimmy could fall asleep with his head in a toilet inverted.

32:12🔗 The Ataris I admire you, man. I took I flew a business class one time now on the flight back from our last trip to Australia. I'm never going back.

32:19🔗 Adam That's right. Never. That's right.

32:21🔗 The Ataris Those those those. I mean, it's a difference like night and day. Those seats in business class, you can sleep in them. They bring you first class wine. Oh, good Lord. God bless. Qantas. I'll say it 20 times. Qantas, Qantas, Qantas, Qantas, Qantas business class.

32:34🔗 Caller Hey, Reva.

32:36🔗 Adam Yeah. And Chris is Ashburgers himself. What's that? What's? All right. Look, you should be evaluated because otherwise you might end up in jail.

32:51🔗 Drew That's right.

32:51🔗 Caller They're going to say we're in a boot camp. They said no. It's like it's inhumane.

32:56🔗 Adam Listen, listen to me.

32:57🔗 Drew It might be a good thing for you.

32:59🔗 Adam Get on your knees. Reva, listen to me. As you know, I'm a genius. Yeah, you're awesome. You're a little bit nutty, a little bit, a little bit. This is quite down, Drew. Quite a little bit. Call it what you want. Let's just say you're a little bit nutty and you're a little bit impulsive. And you're the kind of person that, while not a bad person, is probably capable of doing something bad that could get you into trouble, that could put you in prison and affect your life and the life of whoever you did that to for quite a number of years. You don't want to do that. You want to have a good life, right? So just try to relax a little bit. Listen to the adults. Listen to the experts. Let them do what's best for you. Go to boot camp. Do whatever you got got to do in a few years, you'll be out of the woods.

33:50🔗 Caller I'll be watching you.

33:52🔗 Drew It's time for an Atari song. Oh, yeah.

33:55🔗 Adam I forgot about that.

33:56🔗 Caller Maybe it'll make you feel better.

33:57🔗 Adam Yeah, I think it will. That's all we're going to hear. We're going to hear The Boys of Summer. This is Ataris, this is all of So Long Historia, and this is The Boys of Summer. You can never look back. Yeah, the Ataris, everybody. Chris and Johnny in the studio tonight. So long, Astoria. Name of the CD. Going to be at the Palladium. Established in what year, Drew?

38:33🔗 Drew 1940.

38:34🔗 Adam That's right. They're going to be there this Friday, by the way. And still, some tickets available for that. We are going to take a little break when we come back. We're going to speak to Jeremy. Is it? Oh, Jeremy. What kind of name is this?

38:49🔗 Drew Rustin. We'll get to him later.

38:51🔗 Adam Rustin. Jeremy has no experience in going down on girls.

38:57🔗 The Ataris Once once some pointers from the band, he's missing out.

39:02🔗 Adam Oh, yeah. Well, rock stars don't have any experience going down on girls. They don't bother. Yeah, I don't have to start sucking, baby. So I go through.

39:09🔗 Caller It's not going to suck itself.

39:11🔗 Adam Yeah, it's not going to suck itself. There's there's video games to be played.

39:16🔗 The Ataris There's guitars to be they need a video game about going down. And I think maybe, you know, maybe some people are playing one thing or two.

39:23🔗 Adam Oh, really? Oh, interesting. You know, I saw a guy I saw a guy today. I was walking like down the street. I was like in a mall at the Hollywood thing. He was playing ping pong with, you know, against a video game. He actually had a paddle that had a sensor in it. And he was standing about 12 feet from the screen. And there was a little sensor camera on him. And this guy's like a rich hearted maniac is swinging into the air, you know, and just sort of. And by the way, I don't know when it became acceptable that you compete against the machines in public and really make an ass yourself. But somebody has to start like the guys in the clogs. You know, somebody's got to tap the guy in the shoulder.

40:04🔗 The Ataris Well, they need to go to Japan and start there because the arcade there, there's games like you play drums, you play the guitar. They can be the worst one. And I play this game where you got to. There's a dog and you walk a damn dog and you're on like a conveyor belt thing. Like you're, you know, like you're on a treadmill, you know. And so like I didn't know how to figure it out. And like I'm the only one there. I'm just like, OK, just press some buttons and you can pick the dog you want to walk. So I'm like, I'll start with the intermediate one, like small one. And I pick like, you'll pick big dog, big dog. And I'm like, oh, no. So immediately the treadmill is running real fast. I'm like running and running and I'm pulling the thing and I'm choking the dog. And you see the dog on the screen going, ah, ah, and it like falls over and dies.

40:42🔗 Adam I have all this guilt, you know, it's weird when it's like, I understand the video games where you're destroying galaxies, but the ones where you're sort of simulating stuff that's in a basement, you know, you know, like, or just like mundane tasks, like crapping the dog or playing ping pong.

41:00🔗 The Ataris Like, really, this is back to like, you know, when you're shopping for like kids toys or something, they have these really smart toys that appeal to like the intellectual adult male or, you know, and then some of those are really, I think, are really good, you know, and a lot of them are really good for kids and like developing their mental skills and whatnot. But but there's just like then the kid will go over and he'll be like, I want that. And it's just like the stupidest toy. And you're like, yeah, kids don't, you know, we got to go to break with you.

41:24🔗 Adam I like to video game where they had a virtual tour of the lorry seasoning plant there. Now you get on a treadmill that goes super slow. You're in cents around with a spray, the paprika at you. Sweet, huh? Yeah. Exciting. Kids. Kids go berserk. Berserk for that. Yes, Drew. Yes. Yes. Yes. All right. We'll be back. Loveline. We'll be right back. Loveline, phone number, 1-800-LOVE-191. Adrienne from No Doubt, and Ms. Bow Wow Wow's in here tomorrow night. What's her name, Derv? Annabelle.

42:10🔗 Drew Annabelle.

42:11🔗 Adam Annabelle.

42:12🔗 Drew I think that's right.

42:12🔗 Adam Yeah, I think it's Annabelle. Tomorrow night. She was on the show when she was like nine, right?

42:18🔗 Drew Yeah, like 14.

42:19🔗 Adam And you were 17? Yeah, that's good times. And then Tenacious D, Jack Black and Kyle are going to be in here on Thursday. The Ataris in here tonight, Johnny and Chris, and it's back to the phones we go. We're going to speak to young Jeremy, who is 18. Jeremy. Hey, what's happening? Hello.

42:46🔗 Caller You guys kicked Gudeus Maximus.

42:48🔗 Adam Thank you, thanks.

42:49🔗 Caller Am I allowed to say ask on the radio?

42:54🔗 Adam Yeah, you can't.

42:54🔗 Caller All right. OK, thanks. All right. Big fan, long time listener. Yeah, my question. Well, can I ask one other question for my person?

43:03🔗 Adam No, come on. Let's go.

43:05🔗 Caller Yes, we go.

43:06🔗 Drew Go.

43:06🔗 Adam We go. Let's go.

43:08🔗 Caller All right. My girlfriend, she kind of wants me to like, you know, go down on her. She hasn't exactly said it herself, but I know that she wants me to because, you know, we've kind of hinted around it. So but I really have no experience down there whatsoever. And I'm kind of nervous.

43:25🔗 The Ataris Oh, well, first question, does she go down on you?

43:29🔗 Adam No, no, she doesn't.

43:30🔗 Caller No, she has really said to me is that she wants to get more intimate. I think it's made out.

43:36🔗 Drew That could mean anything.

43:39🔗 Caller Yeah. How long have you been?

43:39🔗 Adam How long have you been together?

43:41🔗 Caller I'd say about two and a half years.

43:43🔗 Oh, really?

43:44🔗 Adam God bless you. In two and a half years, that bullet is not easy to do.

43:50🔗 Drew It's time to get to work. Yeah, I suspect she's talking about it.

43:54🔗 Adam Two times over, ladies.

43:55🔗 Drew I bet she's talking about sex.

43:58🔗 Adam She's talking about sex.

43:59🔗 Caller Yeah.

44:00🔗 The Ataris Yeah, I think has she ever had sex with anyone before?

44:03🔗 Caller No, no.

44:04🔗 The Ataris So I don't think that she's going to immediately jump to you going down on her. I imagine she's probably pretty self conscious about everything as it is. I think if you go down there right now, you're probably going to freak her out, dude. I think, yeah, you're definitely right.

44:17🔗 Adam Well, OK, but listen, are you guys religious?

44:21🔗 Caller Yeah, she is. My parents go to church, but I don't know. I kind of am. I really.

44:26🔗 Adam But has she been the reason you haven't had sex for two and a half years?

44:30🔗 Caller No, not at all.

44:32🔗 Drew What's the reason?

44:33🔗 Caller No, it's not.

44:35🔗 Drew What is the reason?

44:36🔗 Caller I don't really know.

44:38🔗 The Ataris Disabstinence or you're just freaked out?

44:41🔗 Caller The Mormon? No, no, no.

44:43🔗 Drew The Mormons have sex. You don't have any specific value in being a virgin. You just haven't wanted to have sex.

44:49🔗 Caller Yeah, I guess not.

44:51🔗 Drew Are you a Mormon?

44:52🔗 Caller No.

44:53🔗 Drew OK, hold on. I would check.

44:56🔗 The Ataris How old is your girlfriend?

44:58🔗 Adam Hold on a second. We put Jeremy on hold so we can talk about him behind his wimpy back. But Drew is a man of exquisite passion. And don't let the glasses and button down collar fool you when that when that thing comes off. It's all man. All man. Underneath those loafers and those dockers, he is all man. And he cannot he cannot understand how an 18 year old is not all over his 18 year old girlfriend. No, man, I hear you. And now some guys just did dance to the beat of a different drummer.

45:31🔗 Drew You're absolutely right, but I'd still would I would still check his blood levels of thyroid and prolactin.

45:39🔗 Adam Jeremy.

45:40🔗 Caller Yeah.

45:41🔗 Adam How old's your gal there?

45:42🔗 Caller 16. Ooh.

45:45🔗 The Ataris How old is he again?

45:46🔗 Caller 18.

45:47🔗 The Ataris Okay.

45:51🔗 Drew I'm going to smell a little inappropriate touching or something when he was something scared him.

45:56🔗 Adam Something scared him?

45:57🔗 Drew With her or himself? No, himself as a kid.

45:59🔗 Adam Oh, really?

46:00🔗 Drew Then he goes for the young one.

46:02🔗 Adam Jeremy?

46:03🔗 Caller Yeah?

46:04🔗 Adam Anybody ever touch you in an inappropriate way when you were young? Nope.

46:10🔗 Drew Nothing like that.

46:10🔗 Adam You have one of those wacky nationalities we need to know about?

46:13🔗 Caller No. All American.

46:16🔗 Adam Because that factors in. You have a lot of wacky cultures.

46:19🔗 The Ataris How long have you guys dated for?

46:21🔗 Caller Two and a half years.

46:22🔗 Adam All right.

46:23🔗 Drew Listen, don't worry about it. Just talk with her about what it is she's comfortable doing and just jump on in. You'll be fine.

46:29🔗 Adam And by the way, was she 13 and change when you met her?

46:33🔗 Caller Yeah.

46:37🔗 Adam She's 13 and change and he's 16 when they meet.

46:40🔗 Caller She was like 14.

46:42🔗 Drew That's still true.

46:42🔗 Adam Like 14 is 13 and change. You see what I'm saying?

46:47🔗 Drew That's why I was getting going for the young.

46:48🔗 Adam And you were 16. Yeah. That's marginally creepy there.

46:53🔗 Drew It is?

46:54🔗 Adam I mean, when you're 16, you've got your driver's license. And when you're 13 and change, you're a teeny bopper. Hey. Hey.

47:10🔗 Drew We got a break.

47:11🔗 Adam We got a break. Ataris are here. Well, let's take a break. Let's regroup.

47:16🔗 Drew We'll be back. What just happened?

47:19🔗 Adam All right, guys.

47:19🔗 Caller Here's the deal. Look in the hookup.

47:21🔗 Caller Call the Dateline.

47:22🔗 Caller Stick a waste in time with the wrong person.

47:24🔗 Caller Call the Dateline.

47:24🔗 Caller One call is all you need to make.

47:26🔗 Caller Call the Dateline.

47:27🔗 Caller 1-877-889. Date.

47:31🔗 Caller You know what I'm saying, I'm dead?

47:34🔗 Caller Adam and Dr. Drew will be right back on Loveline.

47:37🔗 Caller Loveline.

47:39🔗 Caller NFL Blitz Pro combines authentic NFL features with Blitz signature fast and furious gameplay.

47:50🔗 Caller Loveline.

47:56🔗 Caller Loveline.

47:56🔗 Caller Let's go.

48:20🔗 Drew Can I just do one of the roles? I have to do both?

48:21🔗 Adam Yeah, you're that good. Or I don't care that much.

48:26🔗 Caller It's one of the two.

48:27🔗 Adam Chris and Johnny here tonight from the Ataris. So long, historian, name of this CD. Thank you. There's something else off of that CD in the 11 o'clock hour. You know what I was thinking about as I was bedding down for my nap this evening?

48:43🔗 Drew Tell me, please.

48:45🔗 Adam I was lying on my sofa and I thought, thank Holy Christ we moved from that dump known as Westwood One. Remember what a S box that place was? And remember we just we went through the whole construction thing over there and the baton death march walking through that construction area with chicken bones and rat droppings and everything. Remember what a dump and a dive that joint was and how much better this place is? And then I thought, I still hate them over there, I thought to myself. And then I had this thought. They have our chairs. They have our leather chairs. We should have them. Oh, we're going to get them. Oh, hell yes, we're going to get them. You're goddamn right. We're going to get them. We got to get those leather chairs.

49:30🔗 Drew What I hear is just take them home.

49:31🔗 Adam Hell no, I'm taking them home. We did, we did, we were over at Westwood One or we prefer to call it Westwood Two or Westwood None because it's a dump. It's a dive.

49:42🔗 Drew We were there.

49:43🔗 Adam You hate that place. It sucks. And we had these chairs that we tried to get a set of chairs in the studio for about four years. Eventually, some listener in like Minnesota or Illinois piped up and sent us out some nice leather chairs like thousand dollar chairs, really nice chairs. And we moved over here and we left those chairs. We left them behind. So here the thing is, here's my chair thing. I will either take them home or I will burn them and ceremonial ritual in the parking lot. But I will not let them stay at that F in dump.

50:18🔗 Drew We need to get like a truck or something.

50:21🔗 Adam Whatever it is. I really don't care if they're destroyed. Just as long as they're not used by that asshole, the cheap bastards over at Westwood None. What a crap box that place was. Remember that? Remember the hacky carpentry that mocked me as I walked through its halls? Some guy, the guy, somebody built that place. And I know the guy. It's that old, it's a white guy and he's in his 60s and he thinks he knows and he doesn't and he's a hack. Horrible carpentry. Horrible, wretched carpentry going on in there.

50:51🔗 Drew The door jams bothered you the most.

50:53🔗 Adam Can't even. So it's painful to be surrounded by that much ugliness and that kind of shoddy craftsmanship. I hate that place. I'm having a withdrawal thinking about it, but we need our chairs and we need them. And Anderson, our chair is still there?

51:12🔗 Yeah, we use them every night. It's the only good thing left in this place.

51:15🔗 Drew Oh, these guys use them. No, come on.

51:17🔗 Adam No, no.

51:18🔗 The Ataris Brian's going to quit if you take them.

51:21🔗 Adam I'm sorry, I'll give him a phone book.

51:23🔗 Drew I'll let you use mine until you guys are out of there, too.

51:25🔗 Adam When are you guys going to be out of there?

51:27🔗 Drew Well, when we move to Hollywood and Highland, remember that? That's tomorrow, right?

51:31🔗 Adam That's never ever going to happen. All right, so we're going to need those chairs because I fear that other people are sitting on them during the day.

51:40🔗 Drew That's intolerable for you.

51:41🔗 Adam That's intolerable. All right, Drew, so mental note, get chairs, yes?

51:45🔗 Drew Mental note.

51:47🔗 Adam Erica? You're 28? What's up?

51:54🔗 Well, I basically had a question for Dr. Drew. I just started reading his book, Cracked. I just wondered, first of all, if you think that it's possible for somebody who's been using heroin for 11 years, and I've been through detox, I've been through treatment, I can't even count how many times, but right now, I have a job, believe it or not, and I just want to stop so bad, but every day, it's like the same thing, okay, tomorrow, I'm going to quit tomorrow, I'm going to quit tomorrow.

52:38🔗 Drew What has kept you from getting sober when you have been abstinent? Do you get with the program?

52:44🔗 Yeah, with the NA?

52:45🔗 Drew Yeah.

52:46🔗 Yeah, yeah, I mean, I've gone to meetings.

52:49🔗 Drew And what happens when you relapse? What are the circumstances?

52:51🔗 To be honest, to be honest with you, it's going on.

52:58🔗 Adam What's with the crazy Comanche yell? What is that?

53:02🔗 Oh, no, I was just like, I have so many questions to ask.

53:07🔗 Adam You're exasperated.

53:09🔗 Drew Excited.

53:09🔗 Yeah, I really am. I was going to ask Drew if he would be my sponsor.

53:13🔗 Adam Yeah, sure. He'll be your silent sponsor. You need a female. Where you can ever call him.

53:19🔗 Drew You need a female and you need her there all the time.

53:22🔗 Adam Why female?

53:23🔗 Drew Because.

53:23🔗 That's what I want to know. Why female?

53:26🔗 Drew Because other things could enter into male-female interaction.

53:30🔗 Caller Oh, really? Yeah.

53:31🔗 Drew And it's just not okay. There are things about that that's no, not okay.

53:36🔗 Caller Really?

53:37🔗 Adam Is this, is this work for all, all the drugs?

53:39🔗 Drew Yeah, you don't, you don't, it's got to be the same sex.

53:41🔗 Adam Yeah, you never, you never hear that underlined.

53:44🔗 Drew Oh, no, same sex.

53:45🔗 Adam Oh, no?

53:46🔗 Drew But Erica.

53:47🔗 Adam There's some hot chicks in CA.

53:49🔗 Drew Same, same, same.

53:49🔗 Adam Especially CA has got hot chicks. I go to the West LA meeting every Friday.

53:53🔗 Drew I just cruise. Erica, here's the deal. They're vulnerable. You got to get it. Skinny and vulnerable. So tell me what the circumstances are around your relapses. Why don't you get with the program?

54:03🔗 Adam I do some producing, baby.

54:08🔗 I can't hear, but I can only…

54:10🔗 Drew What happens when you've been relapsing? Why don't you stay with the program?

54:15🔗 Let me think. Well, most of the time it was because I was getting clean or going to treatment for my mom or for… so that I didn't go to jail or…

54:30🔗 Drew You didn't want to do it yourself.

54:31🔗 Adam Yeah, that's the thing.

54:33🔗 It was a half-assed thing. I did want to do it, but not… it wasn't like gut-wrenching.

54:37🔗 Adam Yeah, you can't get sober for your mom or your teacher or your dad. You got to do it for me, Adam Carolla. You understand? That's the only time it's important.

54:49🔗 Drew Here's the deal. What about just going back to treatment now that you're ready?

54:55🔗 Caller I would love to go back to treatment now that I'm ready, but the thing is, I went to… there's like two treatment centers in Austin. I went to one the other day, and the guy who's in charge of intake says, you know, Erica, you've been here, your treatment's savvy, you know what you need to do, blah, blah, blah, just go do it, and my whole thing is, you know, just 28 days or however long the program is, just the time away from all of the people and, you know…

55:20🔗 The Ataris That's like the hardest part, I believe, of any addiction is getting away from all those people and all those bad elements.

55:26🔗 Drew Maybe just seven days inpatient, finish detox, go to Sore We're Living for three months, get entrenched in your program, you can go to work from Sore We're Living, get going. Just do it, just do it. You're ready now, Erika, come on. Let's go, baby! You're ready.

55:40🔗 Adam I mean, blah!

55:41🔗 Drew And listen, your spiritual emptiness is palpable, right?

55:47🔗 Caller Yeah, I mean, it's… Blah! I can't even express to you how depressed I have become before, it was like I wasn't depressed, even shooting dope every day, it was okay.

55:59🔗 Adam Hey Erika, where do you work? What do you do for a living, baby?

56:07🔗 Caller What is that that keeps happening?

56:10🔗 Drew We're wondering.

56:11🔗 Adam Yeah, I think, yeah, I think…

56:13🔗 The Ataris What do you do for a living?

56:14🔗 Adam Yeah.

56:15🔗 Caller I work for a… Make that stop.

56:21🔗 Adam I wish I could, yeah.

56:23🔗 Caller I work for a market research company. I do, like…

56:27🔗 The Ataris You don't answer phones, do you?

56:29🔗 Caller No, no.

56:32🔗 Adam Yes, yes. We know what focus groups are. They're the ones that tell the program director, have me quit talking so much.

56:39🔗 Drew Do you have, do you have, like, a dissociative disorder, Erika, where you kind of phase out and do things you don't know what you're doing?

56:48🔗 Caller Well, I've never been diagnosed with that.

56:50🔗 Drew Okay.

56:50🔗 Adam You were? Was? No, I never been diagnosed.

56:53🔗 Drew I think Anne is screwing with us.

56:55🔗 Adam Oh, I see. You're ready to rock now, baby, yes? This is time. It's time.

57:00🔗 Caller It's time, right?

57:01🔗 Adam All right, good. Do what Drew tells you what to do, yes?

57:04🔗 Drew Seven days inpatient, three months sober living.

57:06🔗 Adam That's right.

57:07🔗 Drew It's time. To do it on your own, you know it's half-assed. You're welcome to try. You can cold turkey it. Maybe you'll find a doctor that can detox you as an outpatient. I don't do it because it doesn't work. You know the program, as they told you, your program's average. Go to NA, get a sponsor, start doing the work.

57:21🔗 The Ataris Try to find some friends outside of that circle of...

57:23🔗 Drew Or the 12-step community.

57:25🔗 The Ataris Yeah, yeah. Within that, within the 12-step program, I'm sure you can find some people that would help you out.

57:30🔗 Adam Speaking of cold turkey, it's getting close for, getting time for me to get my cranberry recipe out pretty soon. So, you know, Thanksgiving's coming up. I won't get to it yet, but soon, yes? Thanksgiving's coming up.

57:47🔗 Drew With the cold weather.

57:48🔗 Adam Nice.

57:50🔗 Drew It's like, it's like coming out of some concentration camp or something. It's like it's over. It's too much. It's overstimulating.

57:55🔗 Adam The pumpkin pie and the cold weather. That's nice.

57:58🔗 Too much.

57:59🔗 Adam I had a monster size piece at Jimmy's on Sunday. Jimmy goes to the Price Club and buys, you know, he buys like a pumpkin pie size of a wagon wheel. But even the produce had a tomato that he was rolling in. Two guys rolling in.

58:15🔗 Wheelbarrow.

58:16🔗 Adam Rolled it up a ramp. Yeah, I was like loading. It's like putting old time cakes up onto a truck, you know, back in the Al Capone days when we were like running around. But yeah, everything's massive. So here's my whole thing with pie. I carve up a quarter size slice of pie. Now if the pie is the size of your fist, I get a quarter of the pie. If it's the size of a manhole cover, it's a quarter of the pie. That's how I work. It's a percentage thing. I'm like an agent. I just, I get my percentage. That's it. It doesn't matter what you're making. You see, I had a huge piece of pie and I went nuts with the whipped cream. I'm getting ready for Thanksgiving this year. I'm going to start training. I'm going to start with the pumpkin pie. I'm going to start dovetailing into the turkey and stuffing.

59:01🔗 Drew Oh, this is going to be good. That's what we're excited about because the weather changed.

59:04🔗 Caller This is going to be good.

59:05🔗 Drew Day before Halloween, I couldn't even imagine Halloween was coming.

59:08🔗 Adam Oh, now the Thanksgiving, anyway, here's what I'm saying. Make the fresh cranberry sauce. Don't open the can. You hillbillies out there with your can openers, how dare you? My family tries to pull this crap off, too. They open the can, it gets all gelatinized, got the shape of the can, then they hack it up like retards. Please, folks, make the fresh cranberries. It's very easy. I'm just laying the groundwork because I'm going to be giving the recipe out in a few weeks.

59:36🔗 Drew Speaking of food, I talked to your wife today. We're going out to dinner on Saturday night at your restaurant.

59:41🔗 Adam That's what she thinks. What? What do you mean? It's a big fight night. Friday night. Saturday night.

59:45🔗 Drew What?

59:46🔗 Adam Saturday night.

59:47🔗 Drew Take us to dinner.

59:48🔗 Adam No, no.

59:49🔗 Drew Your restaurant.

59:49🔗 Adam First off, we got to go to your Belinda.

59:51🔗 Drew That's the point. I want to do something after that.

59:53🔗 Adam Who knows if we're going to make it back that day? Because we got to sign the crappy calendar out and goddamn your Belinda. Like they couldn't figure out a place that was far enough away from my house. Each year, each year, a team, a crack team at the K-Rock calendar department sit around and it's a sit in a war room and they have a whole mock up of the San Fernando Valley in the greater Los Angeles area. And there's a big red diamond where my house is and a guy with a pointer stick goes, now Corolla lives here. Now last year, we had it in El Cajon or Bum Af or something like that took Corolla an hour and 45 minutes to get there. We'd like to go farther, be creative people. And then someone raises their hand and says, what if he's at work? What if he's not leaving his home? Interesting plan, Connie, a contingency plan. All right, now where's he work? And there's another big diamond there. We're going to need a place that's equally far from his work. And not only Corolla, all the K-Rock jocks. It's important that they get in their car and schlep their miserable asses on a Saturday halfway to hell and back.

1:01:01🔗 The Ataris I feel the same way.

1:01:01🔗 Adam And then someone raised their hand and said, how about your Belinda? And someone said, what? I've never heard of your Belinda. And that person said, exactly. Bingo.

1:01:11🔗 Drew We created this town just for the event.

1:01:14🔗 Adam Is it in California? Barely. Barely. It's on the Canadian border. We'll all go out to your Belinda to sign calendars.

1:01:22🔗 You should just go back to Eagle Rock.

1:01:24🔗 Adam At least Eagle Rock is only 20 minutes away. Your Belinda has got to be a good hour and a half. It's horrible. Horrible. All right, and let me just say one more time, and I know I sound like a pompous ass when I say this, but everyone's like, well, that's all the fans are out there. Good. They're such big fans. Let them gas up their cars and head out to where we are. Is that it? What do you guys do? You play the Palladium or you go over to the guy's house?

1:01:50🔗 The Ataris Well, that's right. They want us to go to their house.

1:01:52🔗 Adam Now, let me tell you, the Ataris, they're at the Palladium Friday night. They're in the middle of town. If you live in your Belinda and you want to see the Ataris, you drive out to Hollywood like a fan would do.

1:02:03🔗 The Ataris Well, see, that's that's the logic sometimes. But believe it or not, you know, like we talked about this last time, some fans like have this this whole like, hey, man, why aren't you guys coming back or when are you coming back to your Belinda? Yeah, exactly. Like they'll just pick some random. It'd be like random city in Iowa or something. It's like, yeah, yeah, I mean, come to the next big city near us and see us.

1:02:24🔗 Adam That's right. Because you're the celebrity.

1:02:28🔗 The Ataris You don't want to do you want to do 20 dates in comparison to 50.

1:02:32🔗 Adam Whose puss is on that calendar, Drew? Ours or the Yorba Lindyans, the Lindyans or us?

1:02:42🔗 Drew Yes.

1:02:44🔗 Adam Drew, we make carpool.

1:02:46🔗 Drew Oh, really?

1:02:47🔗 Adam I don't know. I don't know what I imagine your Belinda is in the direction of the sun. Like I believe you go up to get to your Belinda. Where is your Belinda?

1:02:57🔗 Drew Wherever I have to go, your house couldn't be far out of the way. Like as a percentage of the distance I'm going to have to travel, I might as well wherever I am come over to get you.

1:03:06🔗 Adam Yeah, right. Because it'll be the 20 minutes it takes to get to my house would be 100 of the traveling time it takes to get to your Belinda.

1:03:13🔗 Caller What is it, at a flea market?

1:03:14🔗 Adam I have no, I don't even know what goes on in your Belinda.

1:03:18🔗 Drew Best Buy. We're going to talk to the manager again.

1:03:20🔗 Adam There's no Best Buy in Sherman Oaks or Hollywood or anywhere. It's all...

1:03:25🔗 Drew So we're going to dinner afterwards. You're taking me and my wife for the eat-ins? Yes.

1:03:28🔗 Adam No, no.

1:03:29🔗 Drew What time is the fight?

1:03:30🔗 Adam Fight's probably 8 o'clock, 8.30, something like that.

1:03:32🔗 Drew Take us to dinner beforehand.

1:03:33🔗 Adam Are you kidding? I can't finish this stupid calendar.

1:03:36🔗 Drew Dinner at seven.

1:03:37🔗 Adam We're not going to be home until eight o'clock.

1:03:38🔗 Drew We'll have dinner at seven.

1:03:39🔗 Adam And we're going to have to stop and gas up three times on the way home too because my tank only holds 19 gallons.

1:03:45🔗 Drew You're taking your wife anyway. At your arrest. Do what you want with her.

1:03:49🔗 Adam I want to watch a fight and you know, you know, my wife said, I said, oh, boys tonight out. We're going to watch a fight. And she said, oh, well, Drew could do that. And I said, no, he can't do that. And she said, why? Why? Drew can't go watch a fight.

1:04:03🔗 Drew He has a family and he takes care of his family.

1:04:05🔗 Adam He can't do that. He can't do this. Wife's not. That's all I did. Brianna or Bran. What's your name?

1:04:14🔗 Caller Brienne.

1:04:15🔗 Adam Brienne. What's up?

1:04:18🔗 Caller Yep.

1:04:19🔗 Adam You ever heard of your Belinda?

1:04:22🔗 Caller Is it in the South Area somewhere?

1:04:24🔗 Adam I don't know. I think it might be.

1:04:26🔗 Drew South of Mercury or the Sun.

1:04:31🔗 Caller Yeah. Not really.

1:04:33🔗 Drew What's going on?

1:04:34🔗 Adam Go ahead, baby doll.

1:04:36🔗 Caller My boyfriend likes to go down on me, I guess, only after like I've been to like basketball practice or I've been like running or. Something.

1:04:59🔗 Drew He seeks that out.

1:05:00🔗 Adam Maybe he's just trying to toughen himself up, like some guys do pushups on their knuckles.

1:05:05🔗 Drew How old is he? Sixteen. Do you like him to do this to you?

1:05:10🔗 Caller Well, it's, I mean, I don't dislike it, but it's just a little weird. And I don't know if I'd be, like, selfish to tell him to stop, because.

1:05:20🔗 Drew No, you would not be selfish to tell him to stop. And wow, that voice.

1:05:26🔗 Adam Should we do a little gambling on brand?

1:05:27🔗 Drew I don't get the feeling, though. I don't get the feeling.

1:05:29🔗 Caller Huh?

1:05:30🔗 Adam You have such a little voice, and usually that means victim.

1:05:36🔗 Caller I've heard you guys say that, and I know you say that there's always something underneath, but I really haven't gone through anything.

1:05:44🔗 Drew Yeah, I believe her.

1:05:45🔗 Adam We just hear it in the voice, but not in the words.

1:05:47🔗 Drew In the feeling.

1:05:47🔗 Adam In the feeling.

1:05:48🔗 Drew In the affect, yeah.

1:05:50🔗 Adam All right, everything's good with you.

1:05:51🔗 Drew Are you a tiny little person?

1:05:53🔗 Caller I'm about five, six, I guess. No, not really, no.

1:05:59🔗 Adam Well, five, six, what? How much you weigh?

1:06:02🔗 Caller About 120.

1:06:04🔗 Adam Well, that's pretty slender. And you have sex with your boyfriend? No. Just cleans you up after practice.

1:06:16🔗 Drew You know what this is? This is a little voice. It doesn't sound like a little girl. Close your eyes. It's just a little voice.

1:06:23🔗 Adam Right.

1:06:24🔗 Drew You know what I'm saying?

1:06:24🔗 Adam I don't want to close my eyes. I'll start beating off. Yeah.

1:06:27🔗 Caller Remember that time?

1:06:28🔗 Drew I know. I was awful.

1:06:29🔗 Adam I was at the science there.

1:06:30🔗 Drew You wouldn't clean up here. That was disgusting. Wow.

1:06:32🔗 Adam I mean, if you're going to tell me to close my eyes and just start listening to that little girl voice and the basketball practice.

1:06:37🔗 Drew Just keep a mop handy for Christ's sake.

1:06:40🔗 Adam I told him to put one of those transmission drip pans down the dam in the garage.

1:06:45🔗 Drew I know. I was looking for those paint roller trades. You know, for the rolling paint.

1:06:49🔗 Adam That's not enough. I got more range in that.

1:06:51🔗 Drew I know.

1:06:51🔗 Adam I got more range.

1:06:52🔗 Drew You're telling me?

1:06:53🔗 Adam All right, Bran.

1:06:57🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:06:57🔗 Adam Look, here's the deal. If your boyfriend's into that, God bless him.

1:07:05🔗 Drew Yeah, you're 15. Yeah, come on.

1:07:07🔗 Caller I don't feel comfortable.

1:07:09🔗 Adam By the way, where's this kid 16? Where does he go from here? I mean, picture this guy. You know, he's 41. He's been driving a truck for a while. What's he into now? Let's move the clock forward.

1:07:21🔗 The Ataris Man, he just made some weird visuals. We're always going to these truck stop bathrooms and the smell of the bathroom is so violently wrong. It's like you're going to like you want to smell America, go into a pilot restroom or like flying J travel stop in like, you know, some some truck stop in the middle of Kansas. It smells like some guy has just drank like big, big jugs of coffee and Mountain Dew and did nothing but like eat steak. It's terrible.

1:07:44🔗 Drew He's a car guys. They've been seasonal, but they were like sort of traumatized.

1:07:47🔗 Adam They've been on the road.

1:07:48🔗 Drew What's been happening with them?

1:07:54🔗 Adam When you've loved and lost, well, the thing is, is I know the thing about like when you see movies, truckers are fat guys with beards and funny rebel hats in real life. They're scary guys. I mean, they're, you know, I mean, like they're not, you know, you hear in the movies doesn't recognize the difference between a trucker and a lumberjack. It's like, oh, you wear, you wear a down vest and a cap, you got a big gut on you and a beer and you're sort of a sturdy guy. In real life, truckers are frightening. There's there's there's super like heroin skinny and then there's like morbidly obese and weird. There are, you know, big circles under the eyes from driving too long and picking at themselves.

1:08:35🔗 Caller And that's 80% of America right there.

1:08:38🔗 Adam America is horribly ugly.

1:08:40🔗 Drew You guys have gotten hated.

1:08:41🔗 Adam We got to move. I want to do this with the Ataris.

1:08:49🔗 Drew I want to love with your fans. I want to leave this country.

1:08:52🔗 Adam I want to move. I want to move to Yorba Linda.

1:08:54🔗 Drew Yeah. I want to leave the country. You told me you were just invented for a calendar sign.

1:08:58🔗 Adam Do we have to get shots to go to Yorba Linda? Do we need a passport? Oh, we're going to have to get some shots. You can administer those. And what's the time difference or three hours later, three hours earlier or earlier. So we're going to have to leave earlier then, right? I set my clock back for Yorba Linda. Let's really true. I'm going to go look at the map back here and I'm going to clutch my heart and groin simultaneously when I find out where Yorba Linda is. The Ataris here, everybody. We're and don't get me wrong. I love the kids.

1:09:29🔗 Drew We'll hear a song.

1:09:30🔗 Adam We're going to hear a song from the Ataris. Yeah. After this.

1:10:09🔗 Drew Adam, you've ruined the Ataris. That's right. You've ruined them. They were nice kids. They were paying attention to their fans. No, it's because of you.

1:10:18🔗 Adam Well, listen, look, if you're going to be in a big rock band, you got to act like it.

1:10:24🔗 Drew You better give them that.

1:10:25🔗 Adam People are cool with that. They like that. Nothing wrong with that. I had to give Drew that speech in many airports over the years. The Ataris are here.

1:10:37🔗 The Ataris It's true.

1:10:38🔗 Drew I talked to people in the airport.

1:10:39🔗 The Ataris Oh, really?

1:10:39🔗 Drew I would say just, hey, beat it. No, I can't let me.

1:10:43🔗 The Ataris I get it all the time. I feel like I have to talk. I want to talk to everybody. And I try to be totally humble. But then there was occasionally a couple really freaky people. Like there's some guy that got my phone number and he called me. He's like, hey, Chris, this is Josh. I'm like, Josh, who? Let's see. No, I don't. No, I don't know Josh. And he's like, I got your number in this wall at the studio you were at. And I'm like, and he did. That's the thing. He was at the studio visiting and I'm like, don't you think that's a little bit freaking weird that you're calling me? I mean, you don't know me. You might know of me or you might think you know me. But it's just like it kind of ruins it for like, you know, the other, you know, for kind of.

1:11:17🔗 Drew It highlights the core problem in our society, which is no boundaries. Exactly. Nobody has boundaries.

1:11:22🔗 Adam Well, and here's here's always my policy. And I wish it was Drew's, although maybe it's fast becoming that it should be everyone's, which is you treat everyone initially the same and well. But once they f up a crack or two, you're gone. Then you cut you just cut your losses and you're gone quick. Because that's what people do. They go, oh, I'm a big fan. I'm a big fan. And then you go, all right. And they'll go, what's your name again? Name's Adam. Although your show is kind of chauvinistic. And then you just go, OK, I'm gone. Now I'm gone. That's all you need to do. Yeah, you're right. That's right. Give them a chance. Be fair for people want to be nice. Fine. But if they're not, pow.

1:12:01🔗 Drew Well, but you don't like anybody like interfering with anything when you're the air public place.

1:12:07🔗 Adam Oh, please. I say hi to everyone all day. Hello.

1:12:09🔗 Drew Why are you holding me?

1:12:10🔗 The Ataris You all mean a bathroom.

1:12:12🔗 Adam I got you. Thank you all because you're holding me up. And I'm secretly jealous. Why, Drew, why not me?

1:12:20🔗 The Ataris Yeah, it's just like me.

1:12:21🔗 Caller I get pushed out of the way for that's right.

1:12:23🔗 The Ataris Hey, the other night, I got it though. For the first time, I was really stoked. Like this guy goes, I say he's like, how, man, because we're doing a meet and greet and he goes, oh, they just left. I want him to sign this. And I'm like, oh, I'll sign. He goes, that's all right, man. Weren't you in your last band? I'm like, yeah, that's my band, Bandera Red, man. We were pretty good, right. And he's like, you guys from Seattle, right? I'm like, yeah, a lot of good bands come out of Seattle, man. It was awesome. I'm like, yeah, that's pretty cool. You know, it's like that always happens to me constantly. I know. That's funny. They'll be like, oh, there's the guitar player. And the kid next to him will be like, no, it's not. I'm like, were you guys watching the show? Yeah, you weren't up there. It's funny. People amaze me.

1:12:59🔗 Adam Fame's fickle. Yes, Drew?

1:13:01🔗 Drew Yeah, whatever.

1:13:02🔗 Adam True sport.

1:13:03🔗 Caller It's a bunch of crap. We're looking at the singer all the time.

1:13:05🔗 Adam Let's keep let's keep a rolling here and speak to Lynn, who's Drew socked the mic two times in under a minute. Lynn is 23.

1:13:15🔗 Drew Lynn, I thought you missed the first time. I wanted to get it on the same. Now.

1:13:19🔗 Adam I don't miss anything ever.

1:13:20🔗 Drew It's true.

1:13:21🔗 Adam When you only I only miss the good things you do.

1:13:23🔗 Drew Oh, yeah.

1:13:23🔗 Adam When you do bad stuff.

1:13:24🔗 Drew Oh, yes.

1:13:25🔗 Adam It all goes down.

1:13:26🔗 Drew Oh, yes.

1:13:26🔗 Adam Lynn, go ahead.

1:13:27🔗 Caller Hello.

1:13:28🔗 Adam Hello.

1:13:29🔗 Caller Yes, I'm calling to find out if it's normal for a man to have an areola and not what I would call a normal size nipple.

1:13:39🔗 Drew That could happen. Yeah, it can happen.

1:13:42🔗 Adam That's true. Is that two saucers and not not so much as a bump in the middle.

1:13:46🔗 Caller And that's not that's normal.

1:13:47🔗 Adam He's an A.

1:13:48🔗 Drew Yes, that can happen.

1:13:48🔗 Adam I got to suck them.

1:13:52🔗 Drew What would your fantasy be?

1:13:54🔗 Adam Oh, I like a little nipple play. I have sensitive nipples. It crosses throughout when I say I have sensitive nipples.

1:14:02🔗 Caller Do you like do you men like your nipples sucked?

1:14:06🔗 Drew Adam sure does.

1:14:07🔗 Adam No, no, I'll tell you what we like. I think I think we like the idea of having our nipples suck early in a relationship. Like if you're with a girl and you're on your third date and you guys are making out pretty good and all of a sudden the shirt's loosening up and she's giving you a little nipple work, you're thinking, oh, this is a good sign. This is a good sign. And that's in that regard, we like our nipples suck. But if you're in relation, if you're in year eight, you don't want any nipple sucking, right? Unless it nipples attach your dork. And even then, it can be distraught. Yes, it would be great. That'd be great to put a nipple on your penis and be like, baby, how about a little nipple action? And she's like, come on, it's just a nipple. And then you have her on a technicality, you have her beat, right, Drew?

1:14:58🔗 Drew Beat.

1:14:59🔗 Caller OK, so this leads me to my next question. What is the normal amount of time a couple should be having sex? How often?

1:15:10🔗 Drew How often? Depends on the age and what stage in the relationship they're in.

1:15:14🔗 Adam Where you at? How long you been together?

1:15:16🔗 Caller About a year and a half.

1:15:18🔗 Drew That may be like two times a week. How old is he?

1:15:23🔗 Caller He's 38.

1:15:24🔗 Drew He's older.

1:15:25🔗 Adam He's a little older.

1:15:28🔗 Drew Yeah, they could slow him down a bit.

1:15:29🔗 Adam What's up? You sound like a newborn, Lynn. You're very naive sounding. What's up?

1:15:35🔗 Caller No, I guess I'm just trying to justify why we don't have sex two times a week.

1:15:42🔗 Drew How often do you have it?

1:15:44🔗 Caller Maybe once or twice every two weeks.

1:15:49🔗 The Ataris Does he work a lot? Does he work a lot?

1:15:52🔗 Caller No, actually, we both are not working. We just took a trip across the country.

1:15:56🔗 Drew So how did you support yourselves?

1:16:05🔗 Adam She had sex with truckers.

1:16:08🔗 Drew Not a trick question. Savings. Are you like, you were independently wealthy or something?

1:16:17🔗 Caller No.

1:16:19🔗 Caller But my boyfriend and I had left our positions around the same time and decided to take a trip across country. You know, we just haven't gone back to work and it's been about a year.

1:16:36🔗 Drew It's been eight, how long? A year?

1:16:38🔗 Caller Uh-huh.

1:16:39🔗 Adam Well, hold on, by the way, the position was not... The hostess at TGI Fridays is not really a position that you leave.

1:16:48🔗 Drew It's not CEO of a Fortune 500.

1:16:50🔗 Adam We relinquished our positions. Quite a handsome severance package. What did you leave? What job did you leave?

1:16:58🔗 Caller I left a position in the workers' comp insurance field.

1:17:03🔗 The Ataris He was a door greeter at Walmart.

1:17:05🔗 Adam Welcome to Walmart.

1:17:06🔗 The Ataris Here's your card.

1:17:07🔗 Adam All right. All right. But listen, also, let me say this to Drew, who does not understand this, which is many people and all the guys I grew up with and almost everyone I knew from age zero to age like 33. You worked, made enough. If you saved up 2,200 bucks, you quit and then spent that 2,200 doing whatever.

1:17:29🔗 Drew Then you find a job.

1:17:29🔗 Adam Then you went back to work again. Yeah.

1:17:31🔗 Drew That's hard to understand.

1:17:32🔗 Adam But well, it's what you do at 23. He's 38.

1:17:35🔗 Drew He shouldn't be doing that.

1:17:36🔗 Adam Whatever. He shouldn't be doing that. Well, he's 38. He should probably be focusing a little bit more on securing the future.

1:17:44🔗 Caller Sure, sure. But I don't think his future maybe has the outcome of maybe what you would say a normal future. Why?

1:17:51🔗 Drew What are you telling us about him?

1:17:53🔗 Caller As far as marriage and children.

1:17:54🔗 Drew How come?

1:17:55🔗 Caller I don't know. That would be a question for him.

1:17:58🔗 Drew So he's not interested. What does he?

1:18:00🔗 Adam He doesn't want to get married or have any kids?

1:18:03🔗 Caller Or have sex. He would never sit there and say, I don't want to have children or don't want to get married. But he says that it wouldn't affect him either way.

1:18:16🔗 Drew If he didn't.

1:18:17🔗 Adam What's he coming off of? He's 38. Was he divorced or something?

1:18:22🔗 Caller No, he's never been married. He has no children. He is the baby of four boys. I don't know.

1:18:29🔗 The Ataris How long you guys been together for?

1:18:31🔗 Caller About a year and a half.

1:18:32🔗 Adam Is he just kind of a loser?

1:18:34🔗 Caller No, no. He's a wonderful man.

1:18:37🔗 Drew No, I mean, if anybody else would evaluate him, except you.

1:18:40🔗 Adam What did he do? What was his job when he had one?

1:18:43🔗 Caller He was in the computer software industry.

1:18:48🔗 Adam Super nerd. Okay, hey, Lynn? His nipples are fine. If you want sex, just a little more often, you can work that out with him, you can tell him. And just keep in mind, too, you don't have to subjugate your needs for his. If you want kids and you want marriage or something, you can pipe up and say that. I do, I do. Okay, all right, then quiet. We got to hear something from the Ataris. How about that? Yeah. This is off of So Long Historia and this is the saddest song. They're going to be at the Palladium this Friday. We should die. What time are you guys going on Friday?

1:23:29🔗 The Ataris Palladium probably some early time slot, I would imagine.

1:23:33🔗 Drew Like eight-ish. We should be leaving Dr. Loveline about then.

1:23:35🔗 Adam Well, we should be leaving more about 630. Because you figure...

1:23:41🔗 Drew We got to be there by one afternoon.

1:23:44🔗 Adam We'll be there by noon the next day. We got to figure...

1:23:48🔗 Drew Time change.

1:23:49🔗 Adam We got to time change. Three-hour time difference in your Belinda. We have to get new tires at about the one-third. I have brand new, brand new skins all the way around.

1:23:59🔗 Drew Right now?

1:24:00🔗 Adam Yeah, but they're only, they have a B rating on the tread wear. They're a little softer compound for the performance. We need to swap out those tires somewhere at about the halfway point. And I'm going to go ahead and put the auxiliary fuel tank on the car.

1:24:15🔗 Drew The weight won't matter?

1:24:17🔗 Adam It's going to hurt the mileage a little bit. We still, if we average 90 miles an hour, we should be able to go ahead and just refuel two or three times before we get out there. We'll need some lodging. Really usual stuff.

1:24:29🔗 Drew You're going to stop?

1:24:29🔗 Adam Trail necks, compass, the whole thing.

1:24:31🔗 Drew Yeah, water.

1:24:32🔗 Adam Yeah. Or we'll drive in shifts. I'll just recline the seat and sleep.

1:24:36🔗 Drew You want to take three days to get there? What's the matter with you?

1:24:38🔗 Adam You're right. You're right.

1:24:40🔗 Drew We got to get there.

1:24:41🔗 Adam OK, good. I'm going to bring the radar detector and the CB, OK, because it'll be like a gumball rally. It's like smoking the band. And then what I'm going to do is I'm going to have a guy in a Trans Am running interference for us, OK? All right. So, yeah, so if we leave, we should leave just before sundown on Friday. We should be rolling up about one o'clock. You're Belinda in time, though, right?

1:25:06🔗 Drew Hey, Robert, you had a question?

1:25:07🔗 Adam No. Yeah.

1:25:08🔗 Caller I was wondering when you guys were going to be down in Yorba Linda.

1:25:14🔗 Adam Well, like I said, we leave Friday night about five. We should be crossing the border if we don't have any problems at the border. And I've heard of problems at the Yorba Linda border. People trying to sneak in all the time, trying to sneak out. Big drug traffic. A lot of drug traffic goes through the Yorba Linda border. But we should be crossing into the Yorba Linda corridor probably about... about 9 a.m. Yorba Linda time. And then again, it's going to take another three, four hours to get to the center of Yorba Linda. We're going to the Best Buy.

1:25:45🔗 Drew We're going to the Best Buy.

1:25:47🔗 Caller Don't forget about customs.

1:25:48🔗 Caller You got to worry about customs, too.

1:25:50🔗 Caller Oh, yeah.

1:25:50🔗 Adam There's the pass down, the customs. Again, the shots, the passports.

1:25:54🔗 Drew They're going to look... They're going to want to put an endoscope into both those gas tanks.

1:25:59🔗 Adam Ever since 9-11, they've beefed the securities through the roof.

1:26:02🔗 The Ataris You guys don't carry any fruit with you.

1:26:05🔗 Drew Yeah, we can't. Bread, crackers.

1:26:07🔗 Adam Yeah. We should leave late Thursday. We should leave after the show Thursday. That's a safe. Let's just play it safe. We'll take a quick... Let's leave now. We got to get to Yorba Linda now. Seriously. We should go.

1:26:20🔗 Drew It makes me feel nervous that we're waiting until Thursday, but yeah, you're right.

1:26:23🔗 Adam Let's play it safe and leave now. All right. We'll take a little break. We'll be right back. Tomorrow night, we have Annabella from Bow Wow Wow. Or is it Annabelle? Annabella, pretty sure. Annabelle. And Adrian from Banshee from, I don't know, No Doubt. Oh yeah, No Doubt, that's right. Put a pox on that band many years ago, remember, Drew? It all worked out. From No Doubt, they're going to be in here tomorrow night, and then Tenacious D is going to be in here. Jack Black and Kyle, and then Triumph, the insult dog, Wonder Dog, great, very funny. He's going to be in here, too, I know he's going to be in here. Lincoln Park, Cypress Hill, and Papa Roach all next week.

1:27:44🔗 Drew Ann's been working hard.

1:27:45🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:27:46🔗 Drew Big two weeks.

1:27:47🔗 Adam Is there a good guess? And yeah, Triumph, very funny, that's his name, Robert Smeigel, very funny.

1:27:53🔗 Drew All right, time for Germany or Florida.

1:27:57🔗 Adam All right, Jason.

1:27:59🔗 Caller Hey, you know.

1:28:00🔗 Adam You're 15. It's time to play. Okay. All right, go ahead, Jason.

1:28:17🔗 Caller All right. So in either Germany or Florida, he started as a teenager until the age of 36, rubbed one out into a jar bottle. And when he finally got recognized for it, I guess by a couple of his friends' story got around. It turns out it was the equivalent of a two-liter soda bottle.

1:28:35🔗 Adam And it was filled with spunk.

1:28:38🔗 Caller 100%.

1:28:40🔗 Drew Wait a minute.

1:28:40🔗 The Ataris Oh, man, that's disgusting.

1:28:41🔗 Drew From what age to what age?

1:28:43🔗 Caller They say from about 14, he thinks from about 14 to around like 36, I think.

1:28:49🔗 Drew 2012, 22 years of doing that and he only got a two-liter bottle?

1:28:54🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:28:57🔗 Drew Adam would have put like one of those big wine kegs.

1:29:01🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:29:01🔗 The Ataris The St. Bernard with the...

1:29:03🔗 Drew No, no, no. Like medieval, you know, one of those giant kegs. Wow.

1:29:08🔗 Adam That's right. Let there be merriment, I would say, as I tapped it.

1:29:15🔗 Drew With a big wooden mallet.

1:29:19🔗 Adam Let the festival begin. People bringing big pewter mugs.

1:29:27🔗 Caller How come...

1:29:28🔗 Drew Like soft swirl coming out of there.

1:29:30🔗 Adam Laughing, screaming.

1:29:34🔗 Drew I'm going to Germany.

1:29:36🔗 Adam I'm going to Germany. Yeah. That was one that could have been Germany or Florida.

1:29:49🔗 Drew No, Germany. They do weird and nasty...

1:29:51🔗 Adam We all thought Germany. That's my point. But here's what I'm saying. Once in a while, you hear something where there's something that gives it away or there's a telltale sign or they say dollars instead of Deutschmarks or whatever.

1:30:03🔗 Drew This didn't have any clues.

1:30:05🔗 Adam No clues. Just felt like the kind of thing...

1:30:07🔗 Drew Except, except here's what we know, we're going with the odds. The Germans have tons of energy with sort of, sort of oblique sexual activities. Floridians tend to be a little lazier.

1:30:19🔗 Adam Plus, someone from Florida would have needed that two-liter Pepsi bottle for something else. Five cents. Yeah, there's a redemption value of three to five cents. This is the way they would transport water from the well. You know what I mean? You don't just, you don't just use one of those willy-nilly over there.

1:30:36🔗 Drew For some reason, my brain just went to Florida to sharks. Did you see that story about the surfer that got her girl banged off, 13-year-old, incredible? Her dad hauled her in and put a tourniquet on to save her life.

1:30:49🔗 Adam Yeah. Florida, though, right?

1:30:51🔗 Drew Yeah, of course.

1:30:52🔗 Adam But here's the thing.

1:30:53🔗 The Ataris It was Hawaii.

1:30:54🔗 Adam Yes. But, I mean, it's kind of a shocking story, but sharks do take bites out of people.

1:31:00🔗 Drew Yeah, they do.

1:31:00🔗 Adam And they always get that chomp out of the board, too, in a cartoon, like, novelty kind of way, like, I mean, just, I mean, the tooth, you know, like in the cartoons when the guy gets scared and runs through the wall and leaves the silhouette, the shape of himself and all, but shark bites are, like, whenever they show those. And for some reason, you know, there's something about the foam that's inside the boards, that is the resin on the outside, it leaves, it's like a dental imprint or something like that board just had a, it was a half moon.

1:31:35🔗 Drew They don't fracture, it's just like an apple, they took a bite out of it.

1:31:38🔗 Adam It's like a serrated looking half moon that was at least 16, 18 inches across.

1:31:43🔗 Drew And apparently when the arm was off, she looked over and went, oh, the shark just bit me. Just like, matter of fact, they're like, oh my goodness.

1:31:50🔗 Adam You got to think about it.

1:31:51🔗 Drew Everyone has their own reaction, you know, I mean, hers was interesting.

1:31:54🔗 Adam Here's the best part. She'll prediction does not blame the shark. I think it's like I want all sharks dead. My press conference. We must get that shark. It's not enough that we kill it. We have to torture it. I have to take one of its own. I have to bite a flipper off one of its young. And another thing is, is so she I always like this to where the guy's going like he's he's he's talking using a scratch pad because he can't use his mouth and he's like he doesn't blame the grizzly. I always like that to like, okay, that's nice. And then number two, I'm getting back in the water. That's the other one.

1:32:29🔗 Drew She's got to back in. She's already talking about prosthetics and things.

1:32:32🔗 Adam Get back in. You got to get back in. You are? No, she is. I'm not going anywhere.

1:32:37🔗 The Ataris Yeah, I'm with you, man. I always see that.

1:32:40🔗 Drew Like there was this was what Adam was contemplating getting that two liter bottle on.

1:32:42🔗 Adam I'm moving into an iron lung and putting it in my basement. I'm just going to put a grow light down there so I can stay alive.

1:32:48🔗 Drew He doesn't want to use any energy breathing anymore.

1:32:53🔗 Adam I don't want to have to expand my chest and then have a contract again.

1:32:56🔗 The Ataris It's always those people, though, that do like, you know, the crazy stunt people or whatever.

1:33:00🔗 Drew They go back.

1:33:00🔗 The Ataris They break everything and just keep doing it again and again.

1:33:03🔗 Caller That's why they just don't get it.

1:33:04🔗 Drew That's why they're doing it in the first place.

1:33:05🔗 The Ataris Exactly. There we go.

1:33:07🔗 Adam Just this one guy. I just want one press conference where they go, I hate the shark. I hate all sharks. I want the shark to pay. I'm never even going to look at a picture of water again. Thank you.

1:33:16🔗 Drew Ataris at the Palladium Friday night.

1:33:18🔗 Adam That's right.

1:33:19🔗 Drew We'll be right back.

1:33:19🔗 Caller All right, guys.

1:33:21🔗 Caller Bottom line, here's the deal. Sick of wasting time with the wrong person.

1:33:26🔗 Caller One call is all you need to make.

1:33:27🔗 Caller Call the Dateline.

1:33:28🔗 Caller 877-889-DATE.

1:33:34🔗 Caller Loveline with Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew.

1:33:36🔗 Caller 1-800-LOVE-191.

1:33:50🔗 Adam Well, that's the show, everybody. I want to thank Chris and Johnny from Ataris for coming out here tonight.

1:33:59🔗 Caller Thanks again.

1:33:59🔗 Adam Our pleasure. You guys come back anytime.

1:34:02🔗 The Ataris Sorry about Yorba Linda.

1:34:10🔗 Adam And I'm going to get one of those one of those burlitz tapes, Yorba Lindian, Made Easy. Sir, listen to the cassette so we can talk to the locals out there.

1:34:19🔗 Drew We'll have plenty of time on the drive out. We'll figure it out.

1:34:21🔗 Adam Find out where the bathroom is and things like that. I hear we can haggle, though, and get some get some stuff cheap.

1:34:26🔗 Drew Bring it back in.

1:34:28🔗 Adam All right. So until next time, this Adam Carolla for Dr. Drew is saying Mahalo.

1:34:32🔗 Caller I just wondered, first of all, if, um.

1:34:40🔗 Caller This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors or this station. The producer for Loveline is Annie Gold. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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