Wednesday, October 22, 2003

0:52🔗 Voiceover Loveline is meant for an adult audience. Loveline may contain sexually oriented content. Listener discretion is advised.

1:00🔗 Loveline with Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew.

1:04🔗 Adam I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. Dr. Drew, board certified physician, addiction medicine specialist. Tonight, from Coupling, Lindsay Price and Jay Harrison, both here tonight.

1:16🔗 Harrington?

1:19🔗 Drew Harrington?

1:20🔗 Adam Oh, yeah. Sorry about that. We'll not soon get over this.

1:25🔗 Drew I know it's the heat. But I heard them for sure declare tonight that it's going to go through the weekend.

1:29🔗 Adam Let me say this. First off, I'm officially going mad. Mad, I tell you.

1:35🔗 Voiceover Mad! Insane!

1:36🔗 Adam Yeah, yeah.

1:38🔗 Drew I'll certify.

1:39🔗 Adam I need a note. Because I'm going to, like, I'm going to urinate on an airport radar screen or something. I'm going to do something insane soon because I'm mad. The heat is making me mad.

1:52🔗 Guest It does that.

1:55🔗 Adam My brain is frying.

1:57🔗 Drew You guys must not live in the valley the way we do, sorry.

1:59🔗 Adam I was driving in tonight and they were like, it's going to heat up. And I was like, what? Is the sun going to collide with the Earth? How can it heat up? How can it heat up?

2:08🔗 Guest It's 945.

2:10🔗 Guest It's Indian summer or something.

2:12🔗 Adam Yeah, but it started in July. We should have taken them all out. This is our prom. We let them off the hook. We had the Indians on the ropes, we let them off the hook. Now they're kicking our ass with this gambling, and these summers they have. I told you, Drew. All right. Well, anyway, you guys, you guys live by the beach or something?

2:33🔗 Guest No, please.

2:33🔗 Adam Cry me a river.

2:34🔗 Guest It's kind of cold in the morning.

2:35🔗 Drew It's only 40 degrees cooler there.

2:37🔗 Guest I think it's getting me sick, going cold and then hot during the day.

2:41🔗 Drew You've not made it even over the hill into the valleys where we live.

2:43🔗 Guest Well, we work in the valley.

2:45🔗 Drew Oh, yeah?

2:45🔗 Guest But the news is that we get to work in a freezing cold soundstage.

2:49🔗 Guest Yeah, like 65 degrees.

2:51🔗 Adam Yeah, that's good. You know, the thing about them, I never can figure this out where they go, they go, the weather report every morning, they go, it's going to be the high 60s in Santa Monica. It's getting up into the 80s in Los Angeles, 140 in San Fernando Valley. Well, how do we start in the 60s? Like, I mean, it's literally 35 degrees difference between the beach and the valley, and as the crow flies, it's about eight miles. And everyone always gives me the six, talking about the hills and the this and the that, but is there any other place that's this way?

3:26🔗 Drew Not that I know of. Not that there's a populace like this.

3:29🔗 Adam Lindsay, where are you from?

3:30🔗 Guest I am from here, born and raised.

3:32🔗 Adam What's your nationality?

3:33🔗 Guest My mother is from Korea, orphaned. I think she's Korean-Japanese, because she was born during the war. She doesn't look 100% Korean.

3:43🔗 Adam Your dad, black guy?

3:44🔗 Guest Yeah, big black guy.

3:46🔗 Adam Lucious.

3:47🔗 Guest He's an average white guy.

3:49🔗 Adam That's a good mix.

3:50🔗 Guest Thanks.

3:52🔗 Adam See? That's nice. Now, Drew, I would say that you're Asian. You're a white guy. Asian is a good national, but it's a little too much.

4:01🔗 Drew You think?

4:02🔗 Adam Let me dial them down just a little bit and just a little infusion of the round eye dials them in just in a perfect...

4:11🔗 Guest Yeah, I have a bit of an identity crisis, but they say that mutts are genetically stronger.

4:15🔗 Drew That's right. Genetic diversity adds to the health of the population.

4:18🔗 Guest So that's maybe why I'm not sick and I don't have a cold.

4:21🔗 Adam I've just been saying that for years yet. If your little blonde daughter brought home a big black guy, you'd have a heart attack, right?

4:26🔗 Drew No, I wouldn't.

4:28🔗 Guest Are you sure?

4:30🔗 Adam That would be great taboo stuff, though. All right, so coupling. What's going on with coupling? A lot of hype, then I heard there's a switch in the time, and it's going on hiatus, or what's happened?

4:41🔗 Guest Yeah, I heard we were canceled.

4:42🔗 Adam I heard that, too. Don't give me the truth. I want Hollywood spin.

4:46🔗 Guest Well, we had a lot of hype, for sure, in the beginning. I think NBC was anticipating Friends going off the air in the year. And we're a show with three girls and three guys, and, you know, we're singles, and there was a lot of similarities, and that expectation was great.

5:03🔗 Adam Right.

5:04🔗 Guest Yeah, I think were I a critic in the same situation having heard about this show every day for months, I would have, you know, come out and slammed it myself.

5:11🔗 Adam Well, there's been this talk, just like today and yesterday, that the networks are complaining. They're like, hey, what's going on? People are watching the networks, and there's got to be something wrong with the Nielsen system. Something wrong with the people. Something wrong with the people. But then I started thinking about it. When you look at the Emmy nominations, and HBO is down for 750, and ABC has two and a half in the technical department, really? What's your case? You know what I'm saying?

5:39🔗 Guest There's a million stations out there that people can watch.

5:41🔗 Adam Oh, my God! Everyone's on TV now! I swear to Christ, I used to be on TV. Even Drew was on for a while in the 70s. Remember that?

5:50🔗 Drew It's 85. Come on.

5:51🔗 Adam Oh, yeah, but it seemed like 70s. I mean, because of the way your hair was. So anyway, here's what we need. So we need you to go see Coupling on Thursday Nights, 9.30 on NBC, right?

6:03🔗 Guest Absolutely.

6:03🔗 Adam That's correct.

6:04🔗 Guest We feel like we have a lot more to offer than just, you know, they're promoting us as this really sexy, racy show. And it is that. We have a very honest, you know, way of telling stories about single people. But it's more than that.

6:16🔗 Guest Yeah, and it's based through, you know, it's looking through at a monogamous, very monogamous couple that's brand new and what they're dealing with and being a new couple and the advice I get from friends and...

6:26🔗 Adam And people are, but they're almost naked too, right?

6:30🔗 Guest We're naked.

6:30🔗 Drew On a billboard. This is the return of frolicking.

6:33🔗 Adam Yeah, they're frolicking.

6:35🔗 Guest We are definitely frolicking.

6:36🔗 Adam I like that.

6:37🔗 Guest It should be called frolicking.

6:38🔗 Adam Yeah, I like romps as well.

6:40🔗 Guest Romps at 9.30 on...

6:42🔗 Adam As I'm going mad, I'll enjoy watching a romp.

6:45🔗 Guest You really will.

6:46🔗 Drew Remember how I was complaining about amazon.com reading those reviews about my book? It was driving me insane. I'm not on the air.

6:52🔗 Adam You're doing it off the air, right?

6:53🔗 Drew No, I'm doing it on the air because a number of listeners came to my rescue instead of writing stuff on Amazon. It was very kind.

6:59🔗 Adam That was your wife.

7:00🔗 Drew No, it wasn't.

7:01🔗 Adam It was. She told me, but she did not tell you.

7:03🔗 Drew I want to thank Pamela Deshane and a reader from USA and somebody with a screen name Capabera and Joya and Louis. True.

7:09🔗 Adam Why do you do that? Why do you read your stuff?

7:14🔗 Drew That was my mistake, but when I went back and saw our listeners running to my rescue, I appreciated it.

7:19🔗 Guest Some of us on our cast, and I will not name names, are actually logging on to the Coupling website and secretly going into the chat rooms and pumping the show for what it is. We've got a lot, you know, because it was a hit in England. There's a lot of people who compare the British version to the American version.

7:37🔗 Adam Is it still on in England?

7:39🔗 Guest Yeah, it is. They have different seasons. They work, I think, like seven-episode blocks. And then the writer, there's only one writer there where here we have, you know, a whole crew.

7:47🔗 Guest And there's no network. It's the BBC. It's a public station, so they don't have pages.

7:51🔗 Drew Of course, it's only America. There's a bunch of writers, so it must be written.

7:54🔗 Adam But, all right, they're smart over there. There's so much more. But when we decide they were better than we were, do you know what I mean? The first programming goes. They got Benny Hill and Dame Edna. That's all they got over there.

8:06🔗 Guest And they got Absolutely Fabulous.

8:08🔗 Adam Oh, they got the Absolutely Fabulous, right?

8:12🔗 Drew There we go.

8:13🔗 Adam Jeff? You're 24? What's up?

8:20🔗 Caller Real simple question, first of all. My girlfriend, fiancee, loves, like, nipples. Too damn much.

8:29🔗 Drew Too damn much.

8:30🔗 Adam She likes your nipples.

8:32🔗 Caller Well, she likes hers, too. But, you know, so she loves me to do, like, play with hers, lick on hers, which is fine. Then she attacks mine, and is it a guy thing? I don't like it. I don't care. But she wants to spend a half an hour on it.

8:47🔗 Adam Is that each one or fifteen apiece?

8:51🔗 Guest That's too much to do for anything.

8:53🔗 Caller It's like, leave me alone.

8:55🔗 Adam Off Jeff from Oklahoma. Look, here's the thing. I don't know if this is bogus or not. I like a little nipple playing myself.

9:02🔗 Drew Therefore, you won't listen to him? You're incensed by Jeff?

9:05🔗 Adam No, I'm just incensed when someone makes a mockery of guys with sensitive nipples. So often we're branded by society because we're sensitive enough and open enough with our sexuality and secure enough in our sexuality to admit that we have nerve endings in our nipples and that we enjoy a little nipple play. Yes, Drew? I always just say nipple play until Drew cringes. Usually he'll ratch if I say three or four more times.

9:30🔗 Drew But I thought you were going to say something in the order of sex being about doing something you don't want to do somebody else or letting them do it to you. You know what I mean? Taking turns. Let's just shut up.

9:40🔗 Adam Tell him you don't want to...

9:41🔗 Drew Or just shut up. Let him...

9:44🔗 Adam Into his nipples? I know we shouldn't do this, but I'm going to try to talk to Jeff again. Jeff? Can you tell her that you don't want your nipples manipulated?

9:57🔗 Caller Well, I'll mention it.

10:00🔗 Drew You'll mention it.

10:00🔗 Adam I'll mention it. All right, sweetheart. We'll see you in hell, okay? How hot is it there in Oklahoma?

10:07🔗 Caller 68 degrees, but I'm going to try to cover it. I started off in a PA this morning.

10:11🔗 Adam No one cares where you're going. I'm so jealous of the rest of the country. That's all I did last night, is talk to people from the Bay Area. They were like, well, when the wind blows, it gets down into the 40s. But it's usually about 60.

10:23🔗 I'm going mad.

10:27🔗 Adam I'm telling you, I can't. I got a lot of hair on my body, you know?

10:32🔗 Guest So you're hot.

10:33🔗 Adam I'm hot.

10:34🔗 Guest Literally.

10:35🔗 Adam I'm hot, yeah.

10:37🔗 Drew You know what? I just realized you need to learn how to pant. Because you're sort of draped like my dog. You sort of got that fur going.

10:45🔗 Adam I got to dispel food from my mouth.

10:47🔗 Drew Yes. It's not going to come off your skin.

10:49🔗 Guest You live in the Valley, right? Well, there's a lot of good waxing places in the Valley. That might cool you down.

10:57🔗 Drew You'd have a pelt if you would wax down.

10:59🔗 Adam How dare you?

11:01🔗 Drew Am I not right?

11:02🔗 Adam Actually, how dare you?

11:04🔗 Drew Am I not right?

11:05🔗 Adam No. I'll tell you something, mister. I have a hairy ass. I said it. I don't have a problem with that. Lathers up the soap. Little ladies love it. But I don't have hair. I don't have that much hair in my chest or back.

11:18🔗 Drew I'm just saying it.

11:24🔗 Adam What's your least hairy part? Look at Drew. Wow. Look at this. Why do I have to work with a hairless puss? Look at this. That's a forearm there. Look at that. There's not no hair on him. It's like an old burn victim or something. Is there no hair in your legs as well?

11:39🔗 Drew No, no. Just my forearms are...

11:41🔗 Adam Really? You don't have hair anywhere else. Oh, Drew. I knew I could see his nipples.

11:48🔗 Drew But it's not like trying to find Santa Claus' mouth as it is in your room. Find your anus in the forest there.

11:56🔗 Adam Please. Diana?

11:58🔗 Yeah?

11:59🔗 Adam You're 20?

12:00🔗 Caller Yes.

12:01🔗 Adam What's up?

12:03🔗 Caller Well, about six months ago, my boyfriend and I were having anal sex. And afterwards, there was feces on the bed and on me and on him.

12:15🔗 That's shocking.

12:17🔗 Adam How could this have happened?

12:18🔗 Drew I don't know. It's confusing, in fact.

12:21🔗 Caller No. I know that obviously it was there because of where we were having sex. But we've done it before. You're lucked out. We've done it a couple of times before.

12:34🔗 Drew And your question?

12:36🔗 Caller Is why that happened? Let's see.

12:40🔗 Adam If I rammed my pinky up my nose three or four feet, do you think I might come out the little snot under my nail? A lot of snot?

12:49🔗 Caller No, there wasn't.

12:51🔗 Adam A lot of what?

12:52🔗 A lot of poo.

12:53🔗 I just want to hear her say it. What do you mean a lot?

12:56🔗 Adam First off, a little poo goes a long way. Anyone who's hit a pile in the park while they were jogging knows that just half a hockey puck can cover your entire body.

13:07🔗 Drew And stay with you for hours.

13:08🔗 Adam You can track it in your car, your work, girlfriend's house, your bow shoes, your hair. It's all over the place. Who decided that this stuff could spread this way?

13:22🔗 Drew Let me look into it.

13:24🔗 Adam Get on that. A little bit goes a long way. So maybe it's just a little bit.

13:28🔗 Drew Yeah, it's not much. I'm not sure. What do you expect?

13:32🔗 Adam What are you looking for?

13:33🔗 Drew I'm looking at how to continue that behavior without what's normally there showing itself. You can enema-ize yourself beforehand. Right, you can do enemas and that's about it. Otherwise, it's coming down.

13:49🔗 Adam It's going to be an episode of Coupling, by the way, coming up.

13:52🔗 Drew I have no doubt. They need to crank the ratings.

13:56🔗 Adam Sweeps is coming up.

13:58🔗 Guest The enema episode.

14:00🔗 Adam You give yourself an enema moments before, and what kind of enema?

14:05🔗 Drew Probably tap water.

14:06🔗 Adam Just tap water?

14:07🔗 Drew Or fleets.

14:09🔗 Adam What's the fleets?

14:10🔗 Drew Fleets throw in the bottle.

14:11🔗 Guest Is it like siphoning gas?

14:14🔗 Drew Tap water is like siphoning gas.

14:15🔗 Adam What do you do? You fill up the bag and give yourself an enema?

14:19🔗 Drew The fleets comes in a pre-bottle.

14:20🔗 Adam You squeeze it in there? Are you supposed to go number two first and then give yourself an enema?

14:26🔗 Drew Not necessarily.

14:27🔗 Adam Really?

14:27🔗 Drew It's coming anyway.

14:29🔗 Adam That's what it's for, isn't it? It gets you going in there. Yeah, but she's not using it to get going. She's used to sort of mop up. I'm not using it.

14:38🔗 Caller I'm not using it. Yeah?

14:40🔗 Adam You're 20. Tired of just regular vaginal sex? Are you feeling bored?

14:46🔗 Caller No, it wasn't my idea.

14:48🔗 Drew Yeah, well, maybe it's something you don't really want to do. It doesn't sound like you're something you're terribly into.

14:51🔗 Adam Are you into it?

14:56🔗 Caller I liked him when he touched me around there, but, I mean, it wasn't bad, but ever since then, I've just been terrified of the whole...

15:04🔗 Drew Terrified. Is he wearing a condom?

15:06🔗 Caller No.

15:06🔗 Caller We haven't seen each other for three years, nor engaged, and we have kids.

15:11🔗 Drew I still don't trust him.

15:12🔗 Adam No.

15:12🔗 Oh, yeah, though, child.

15:14🔗 Caller No, I trust him completely.

15:16🔗 Adam Mommies aren't supposed to be being anally raped.

15:19🔗 Caller Well, I haven't.

15:20🔗 Adam It's in the Bible. I see she's right. All right, all right.

15:24🔗 Drew She gets enough poo from the baby.

15:26🔗 Adam God willing, one day, she'll be in your shoes. All right, baby doll, you're fine. Come from British Columbia, yes?

15:35🔗 Caller Yes.

15:35🔗 Adam What's the temperature?

15:36🔗 It's so cold.

15:39🔗 Caller I've got my stove on right now, actually.

15:42🔗 Adam You've got your stove on because it's so cold?

15:44🔗 Caller Yeah.

15:45🔗 Adam Yeah. What is it outside? What do you think?

15:53🔗 Drew Oh, that sounds so good.

15:54🔗 Adam I walked into my house yesterday. I don't even live in the valley. I live in the city. I walked into my house. It was 90 degrees downstairs on the downstairs thermostat, nine zero. This is not radio exaggeration. The house doesn't get a lot of shade and it's not in a real good position. Catching a lot of sun. Nine-oh downstairs. Upstairs, ninety-two. Ninety-two effing degrees in my goddamn bedroom at six o'clock.

16:25🔗 Drew That's what the fan's going and the windows open.

16:27🔗 Adam Today was crazy. I'm going mad. I'm going mad. Here's what I figured out today. If I open the kitchen window and I put a fan in the kitchen window that will suck the air from outside into the house because it's at night, the house is so hot. And if I turn the hood fan on, it will pull the hot air out of the house and push it outside into the neighbor's yard. It's like a madman. And I'm flicking off all kinds of lights because I don't want that forty water creating any more heat than I already have in the house. Yes, I'm going mad. Mad, I tell you. You are. And like I said, it's going to heat up. Don't worry, kids. What the F is going on? What's going on? We've got to kill those Indians.

17:12🔗 Drew I think the Earth has sort of swooped closer to the sun for some reason.

17:15🔗 Adam Something's going on. But how come we're being mocked by everybody, everyone we talk to around the country is freezing their ass off? Oral? You're 18?

17:26🔗 Caller Yeah.

17:27🔗 Adam What is up?

17:28🔗 Caller Well, I'm in the dorms at college. And my roommate, he masturbates while I'm asleep. And I can hear him.

17:35🔗 And I haven't said anything yet.

17:37🔗 Drew In, like, the bed next to you or something?

17:38🔗 Caller Yeah, well, not next to each other, but yeah, in the room. And I don't really know how to approach him because I don't want to do it weird the first time because then after that, you know, he's going to think I'm a weirdo or whatever.

17:49🔗 Adam Did you say it's in the other room?

17:51🔗 Caller He's in the room with me.

17:52🔗 Adam Oh.

17:53🔗 Guest Sense of humor goes a long way.

17:55🔗 Adam Yeah.

17:55🔗 Guest I think. You know, should I mention it or should I just pretend?

17:59🔗 Caller Because he like, he's like, gets up and goes to the computer and stuff and like, I don't know whether I should mention it or not.

18:07🔗 Adam He gets up and goes to the computer and continues his masturbation?

18:10🔗 Caller Yeah.

18:11🔗 Drew Bogus.

18:11🔗 Yeah. We don't believe it.

18:15🔗 Drew Nice try.

18:16🔗 Adam Sorry, dude.

18:17🔗 Drew And stuff like that.

18:18🔗 Yeah.

18:20🔗 Adam Jackass.

18:21🔗 Drew You guys are good.

18:23🔗 Adam He's full of crap. Let me just say this. We haven't talked about this in a while, but, you know, when you're doing that dorm thing and that roommate thing, you have the one-bedroom apartment, the few roommates, everybody have the dorm situation. Everybody wants the VCR, like, it's my VCR, I want to put the VCR in my room. I could remember this back in the day, we just had one VCR, our roommate wants the VCR. Your room just becomes a designated jack-off area then. That's the jack room. That's the jack room. This is a horrible plan, you putting the VCR in your room.

18:54🔗 Drew No, wherever you put the VCR, that's the jack room.

18:56🔗 Adam I know, but at least let it be the neutral living room.

19:01🔗 Drew Not the common space, and then people complain about walking in on my roommate, blah, blah, blah. It needs to go in the bathroom.

19:07🔗 Adam VCR in the bathroom?

19:08🔗 Guest That sounds good.

19:09🔗 Adam Just plug it into the GFI plug and have like a yellow one that will work in the tub as well. That's what you need. You're right. The VCR, if there's a bunch of guys under 25 living together, they need a VCR that's built into the shower. Yes.

19:26🔗 Drew Yes. Like a DVD player or something?

19:28🔗 Adam A lot of guys like to beat off in the shower, but my problem is I got to bring some material with me until I've perfected my lamination process. I'm patent penning.

19:40🔗 Drew Skip over that and go right to the DVD player, shower DVD player.

19:43🔗 Adam Build it right into the wall like the soap dish.

19:45🔗 Guest Yeah, they got the CD ones for the shower.

19:47🔗 Drew Yeah, one at the DVD.

19:48🔗 Adam Yeah, they got that thing that hangs off the thing.

19:52🔗 Guest It's embarrassing when you get caught walking down and you got your flip-flops, you got your soap, you're sitting in your shampoo and your bucket of porn.

19:58🔗 Adam Big drum and nivia and a bucket of porn.

20:00🔗 Drew Look at Lindsay, she's like, Holy Christ, how do I get that out of here? How do I get out of here?

20:04🔗 Adam This is really an important thing that we've stumbled on to, and I know we're kidding about it, but this is important.

20:10🔗 Guest I suspect so, yeah.

20:14🔗 Adam Here's the thing, guys will beat off wherever the VCR is.

20:18🔗 Drew Yes.

20:18🔗 Adam If you have a roommate, if you have a husband, if you have a boyfriend, if you have a kid brother, I don't care who, a house guest, I don't care who it is, anyone who's living in that house full time is going to beat off wherever the VCR is.

20:32🔗 Drew Or DVD player.

20:32🔗 Adam Put the VCR, put it in the refrigerator, he beats off all over the ambrosia salad. Wherever it is, that's where he beats off. Plug it into the lawn, he's beating off on the lawn. This is how guys are.

20:44🔗 Guest I'm concerned because I put a TV in my kitchen.

20:49🔗 Adam Watch out. With a VCR?

20:52🔗 Guest It's actually hooked to a central VCR DVD hub. It goes through to a plasma thing.

21:02🔗 Drew Central DVD.

21:02🔗 Adam Better scotch guard that baby.

21:04🔗 Guest That's what I'm thinking.

21:05🔗 Adam Who's that? Are you married? You have a boyfriend?

21:08🔗 Guest I am engaged.

21:09🔗 Adam You're engaged? It's beating off in the kitchen right now.

21:11🔗 Guest Apparently.

21:14🔗 Drew Oh boy.

21:15🔗 Adam Little in the rice, little in the sugar. Make an omelet.

21:19🔗 Drew Orel is a good example of bogus call because we were kind of on to, then as we're asking questions he has to up it right in the middle.

21:26🔗 Guest I didn't understand the s'mores.

21:28🔗 Drew The point was we were just asking reasonable questions about kind of a questionable situation and he has to push in something that we weren't even asking about.

21:36🔗 Adam Right.

21:36🔗 Drew That's bogus. Whatever.

21:38🔗 Adam My buddy, my buddy Sal, Jimmy's cousin Sal, he would actually record the soundtrack to Debbie Does Dallas and bring it with him to beat off in the shower because he could not get any porn in the shower but he would have a...

21:53🔗 Drew Auditory experience. That's what he says. He's quite a man.

21:58🔗 Adam Well, obviously way ahead of his time.

22:01🔗 Guest Don't you guys have enough, you know, visual stuff in your mind somewhere? I mean...

22:06🔗 Guest But then it's like the soap dish and that brings you to, like, oh, I got to clean the kitchen.

22:09🔗 Drew Two things. Yeah. Men need to look at something. They just have a very... In fact, that's what cave drawings were all about. I just have a suspicion.

22:17🔗 Guest I get it. I'd like to think that you could, you know, drum up something fantastic in your mind.

22:21🔗 Drew In a pinch, they can.

22:22🔗 Adam Here's the thing.

22:23🔗 Drew No, no. Not fantastic. Something they've already seen.

22:25🔗 Adam We can get by.

22:26🔗 Right.

22:26🔗 Adam I mean, if we're camping or a plane goes down and the Rockies are something...

22:30🔗 Right.

22:31🔗 Adam We got to beat off, you know, let's say you have a compound fracture for your leg. You're low on food. It's freezing. Freezing temperatures at night and you got to squeeze one off before the rescue party gets there.

22:42🔗 Guest They could cut that scene out of a lie, but yes, you're right.

22:45🔗 Adam You could do it. Yeah. I could do it, but when I know that there's perfectly good video porn in the house... I'll forget it. I'm not going to challenge myself that way.

22:55🔗 Drew Adam, we have a contest that goes through the 23rd, the 28 Days Later promotion, where we will be giving DVDs of the horror film 28 Days Later, which is now available. We will be giving it to everyone over the age of 18 that gets on the air tonight. And then on the 26th, we will be drawing a winner from amongst these people to see who gets to go to the Hard Rock Hotel and Casino Las Vegas, where they will have the opportunity to hold on to that room for 28 days.

23:18🔗 Adam Wasn't last night the last night we were going to do this godforsaken thing?

23:21🔗 Drew No, tomorrow night. We'll do three more.

23:25🔗 Adam We've got to get this over with. This is a thorn in my side.

23:29🔗 Drew I know.

23:30🔗 Adam I was just in the middle of spending my second hour talking about beating off in the shower and I was so rudely interrupted by the 28-day later promotion.

23:38🔗 Drew After the commercial, you can pick it right up. Just think.

23:41🔗 Guest Do we really have to?

23:42🔗 Adam Do we really have to? Well, here's what. I don't want to risk picking it up, so let's just talk through the commercial with Lindsay about it and then that way we won't miss a beat when we hit the air.

23:52🔗 Drew When she throws up, we know we've spoken enough about this matter.

23:55🔗 Adam That's right. And when I talk about nipple play, I'll watch you throw up. All right. So, we have Lindsay Price and Jay Harrington here tonight. Coupling name of the TV series Thursday Nights, 9.30, NBC. We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back.

24:12🔗 Caller Hello, this is your radio. As many as one in three Americans with HIV don't know it, to find a testing location near you, call toll free, 1-866-344-K-N-O-W.

24:48🔗 Adam Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. Phone number, 1-800-LOVE-191.

24:54🔗 Drew Good work, Lindsay. You managed to get them off the masturbation. On to home improvement. Thank the heavens above. That is the only way.

25:00🔗 Guest I knew it.

25:02🔗 Adam In the 11 o'clock hour, I'm gonna weave the two subjects together. Yeah.

25:06🔗 Guest This is gonna be amazing.

25:08🔗 Adam Lindsay Price this year shows Jay Harrington, both from Coupling, which is on NBC, Thursday nights at 9.30. All right, fourth episode is gonna be on this Thursday. That's tomorrow, right?

25:22🔗 Guest That's tomorrow night.

25:23🔗 Drew In some parts of the country, they're listening to it tonight.

25:26🔗 Adam That's right.

25:26🔗 Right.

25:27🔗 Adam And you've missed it. You sons of bitches.

25:30🔗 No, they loved it.

25:31🔗 Guest They loved it. They watched it and they can't wait for the next time.

25:35🔗 Adam That's right. All right, now, where are we? We're on back the phones, gonna speak to Karen, who's 25. Karen?

25:47🔗 Hi, I just met this guy the other night and I like to pursue a relationship with him but I'm kind of afraid to because when I have a relationship with somebody within a week or two I start becoming really depressed and suicidal.

26:09🔗 Adam Hold on a second, hold on. First, I got some questions. What's the temperature like in Indiana?

26:14🔗 It's cold.

26:16🔗 Adam Cold?

26:17🔗 Yes.

26:18🔗 Adam What kind of cold? Oh, I'm going mad, I tell you.

26:25🔗 I wish I was with you.

26:27🔗 Adam Yeah, no, no, I wish I was with you but what do you got going over there? What do you got going? Do you have some sort of, you have some brain trauma or something?

26:37🔗 Speech impairment and hearing problem.

26:40🔗 Drew Hearing, hearing.

26:40🔗 Adam Nothing else wrong though, right?

26:42🔗 No.

26:42🔗 Adam Oh, that's good. No, no, I mean some people have, they sound that way because they got whacked in the head.

26:49🔗 Drew Well, but there's something else going on because you become suicidal within a week of being in a relationship. Isn't that what you said?

26:55🔗 Yeah, and then I started going off at the guy, yelling at him and telling him what I think but I really don't think that about him. Like last month I kicked my best friend out because I strung out on something and then I started telling him that I hated him and everything and I wanted him out.

27:19🔗 Drew Karen, why don't you cut some of that stuff out?

27:21🔗 How do I stop that?

27:23🔗 Adam What's going on?

27:23🔗 Drew Are you on any medication?

27:25🔗 Yes.

27:25🔗 Drew What are you taking?

27:27🔗 Yes, G-Done, Infecture and Haldol.

27:33🔗 Drew So do you have a form of schizophrenia also?

27:36🔗 No, I'm borderline.

27:38🔗 Drew Borderline personality disorder.

27:41🔗 Adam Yes.

27:41🔗 Drew All right.

27:42🔗 Adam What happened? Anything happen to you growing up?

27:48🔗 Drew All that. Are they concerned you have a dissociative disorder, like a multiple personality kind of thing? I do have them.

28:01🔗 Adam How many personalities do you have? Fourteen.

28:04🔗 Drew Do any of them speak differently?

28:10🔗 Adam Put her on.

28:10🔗 Drew Put on one that has a clearer speech.

28:12🔗 This will be interesting.

28:17🔗 Adam Hold on a second. It's like when they go like this. They go... When they hypnotize people, they go, you're from a different planet? Yes. Speaking the language. Speaking that language. It's always like... That sucks. That didn't mean anything. You think something good is going to happen?

28:39🔗 Drew Sometimes multiples, if they're true multiples, they will have really wild shifts in their voice sometimes. But I think we're not going to hear that.

28:46🔗 Adam You think she's going to sound like the Queen Mother?

28:48🔗 Drew No.

28:51🔗 Adam Karen? Can you put one of the other personalities on? The one with the English accent? You haven't seen your other personalities?

29:08🔗 They always come out when I get in a relationship with somebody.

29:15🔗 Adam True. When's the last time you saw your personality?

29:18🔗 Drew Never had one.

29:19🔗 Adam I thought you had one in Junior High. You sure? It was worse. So it's been gone that long?

29:26🔗 Drew Maybe when I was nine. You're right.

29:27🔗 Adam Let's try to run that down. Maybe we can get on the Internet and find it.

29:31🔗 Drew I wouldn't expect so.

29:33🔗 Adam True. She has 14 personalities. Drew has a half. It doesn't seem fair, does it? You Bogart and all the personalities, Karen?

29:40🔗 Drew Anyway, Karen, relationships are going to be very difficult for you. The fact that you become sort of volatile in a relationship, no surprise with your abuse history. I imagine you've had some therapy and optimize your medication and try to stay in relationships that are safe. You're going to go for ones that are kind of crazy.

29:57🔗 Adam Are you in therapy?

30:02🔗 Drew Haven't been or haven't been? Just pay attention, follow direction.

30:09🔗 Adam What do they have in Indiana? They have therapists or they have therapist crows where it's a guy with a tweed jacket stuffed with hay just leaning in the corner that you talk to.

30:20🔗 Drew Theracros, yeah.

30:25🔗 Adam Okay. All right, you talk to your therapist. And take care of yourself. Will you sweetums? Jesus Christ. I love you Adam. Hold me now, 25? I love you too. All of your personalities.

30:51🔗 Drew And then we'll listen to some of the other names. And then we'll listen to some of the other names. And then we'll listen to some of the other names.

30:57🔗 And then we'll listen to some of the other names.

31:03🔗 Adam All I want in life is to be able to go back and sue people that have wasted my time. Ah, and Drew.

31:09🔗 Guest Good training.

31:10🔗 Drew I liked it.

31:10🔗 Adam Drew is such a pussy, kiss ass. Here's the deal. We got into this business, neither one of us had ever done anything. Like, my hand was still warm from when the hammer was ripped out of it when I was in this business. Like, I didn't know what I was doing, and neither did Drew. Actually, Drew still doesn't know what he's doing. But I knew enough to know that these retards that were telling us what to do didn't know what they were doing either. And we had to go do media training. We had to do it too.

31:40🔗 Guest Yeah.

31:40🔗 Adam Oh, really?

31:41🔗 Guest We had to write down five descriptions of what we thought our characters would be.

31:46🔗 Drew I'm sure you didn't do what Adam did though.

31:50🔗 Adam Well, I just, it was on like a Saturday or something.

31:55🔗 Drew It was a weekday.

31:56🔗 Adam Weekday?

31:56🔗 Drew Because I remember having a whole ass out of the hospital.

31:58🔗 Adam I remember it was a nice day. Whatever, it was a horrible day. And we went down to a Niemann, Braggman and Caffarelli, the main headquarters over there, and they put us in this room. And they put us in this room, and everyone sort of sat around, and they said like, oh listen, if you're going to be on TV, you got to know what to say when people interview you. And I said, well, how about we just tell them whatever the truth is about the show?

32:17🔗 Drew And they said, no, that won't do.

32:19🔗 Adam No, no.

32:19🔗 Guest Absolutely not.

32:20🔗 Adam No, and they tried to tell you stuff like, don't say, you know, kids calling the show, say, you know, young adults or something like that. It's a little, some semantic crap like that. It's just, people are getting paid, and they have to sort of justify their jobs and their big paychecks, so they ruin other people's lives by dragging them into their bizarre little fantasies. And that's basically what happened. So we got dragged in, and they said, we're gonna do a mock interview. And they had a guy, and by the way, talk about a horrible gig. You got a gig doing mock interviews? Like, you're actually interviewing bad celebrities, there's no cameras actually rolling, and your mic's not plugged in, it's just tucked in your pants. The mic cord, they tied around their nuts, and they pulled out their pants, and they sort of passed around. So I said, I'm not doing a mock interview. And then at a certain point, I just stood up and I said, everybody, it's a nice day, it's a huge waste of time, can we please all just go home? Let's just go home. Let's just leave.

33:18🔗 Drew I think you said something with the effect of history will be unkinded this afternoon, let me go, this is a waste of time.

33:25🔗 Adam Well, Drew, did you learn anything? Did we do anything?

33:28🔗 Drew I just remember when he asked you something like, how do you feel about doing this?

33:31🔗 Adam Well, no, I wouldn't talk.

33:32🔗 Drew You wouldn't talk?

33:33🔗 Adam So they said, they said, let's, which come on, just do the interview, just do the interview. With who? You got some B actor here. And they're like, just, we're gonna do a mock interview. And Kiss Ass Drew over there, such a kiss ass, undermining me every time.

33:49🔗 Drew I kept talking.

33:50🔗 Adam Strength in numbers, buddy. We could have got up with dignity and walked out together as a team, but Kiss Ass Drew is like, oh, oh, oh, whatever you want, whatever you need.

34:01🔗 Guest I mean, we all sat down with our pen and paper and wrote down our characters.

34:04🔗 Drew Well, anyway, so he does the interview and Adam is like belligerently silent. There's just glaring at the camera. With the hat on over your eyes.

34:14🔗 Adam Well, I just said, you know, the thing that's funny too is when we finished the first interview, which is 10 minutes long and I never said a word, because people are in that sort of retarded, fake publicist sort of quasi netherworld, they had to go. Okay, okay, Adam, that's a start. It's a start, you're retarded and say anything.

34:41🔗 Drew And then he goes, okay, and they go, tell us how you really feel. And he goes, and he sits up, he goes, you wanna know how I feel? He's like, stands up, you wanna know how I feel? And he just starts, you started lambacing him. This is a waste of time. Kiss my ass. I'm getting out of here, pulls the hat over his head. And they're like, hey, that was good. That was good, that's the way to go. I don't remember that.

35:00🔗 Adam Media training. Media training.

35:04🔗 Caller See?

35:05🔗 Guest I knew it, we should have stormed out.

35:07🔗 Guest I know.

35:08🔗 Adam Yeah, you should have.

35:08🔗 Guest We stayed for the cookies.

35:09🔗 Adam Shred of dignity. Shred of dignity. Well, anyway, yeah, the whole thing is that, all right, Loveline would have been ruined if they would have just turned us into some kind of puppets, right, Drew?

35:19🔗 Guest Yeah, of course.

35:21🔗 Adam So good times, everybody. What are we gonna do? We're gonna take a little break here on Drew's Game. Jay and Lindsay both here tonight from Coupling. 9.30 Thursday nights, NBC. All right, yes, Drew.

35:35🔗 Drew How do we get this done with?

35:36🔗 Adam Really?

35:37🔗 Drew It'll be done.

35:38🔗 Adam All right, hurry. I'm going, though.

35:40🔗 Drew Go, go ahead.

35:41🔗 All right.

35:41🔗 Drew Yeah, go ahead.

35:41🔗 Adam I'm gonna get some water.

35:42🔗 Drew 20 days later, but don't go to the bathroom without me.

35:46🔗 Guest You guys do that?

35:47🔗 It's awkward.

35:47🔗 Adam I'll go number one today, but I won't go number two without you. I gotta squeeze Drew's hand, it helps.

35:52🔗 Guest Don't leave Jay out. He likes that kind of thing.

35:55🔗 I'm in, I'm in.

35:56🔗 Adam We'll go for the rectal trifecta. Okay, yeah. Rectal trifectal.

36:01🔗 Trifectal, erectal-factal.

36:05🔗 Drew 20 days later promotion. Anyone who gets on the air tonight and tomorrow will get a DVD of the horror film 28 Days Later. And those of you that are over 18 that win these DVDs will also get put into a contest where we will draw a name from amongst these winners to see who gets to go to the Hard Rock Hotel and Casino Las Vegas. They will, that person will get a room at that Casino and Hotel for 28 days. They can use it as they please. They can put friends in there. They themselves can stay there. There'll be Blen Airline tickets to get you there and back. But what you do with that room in that 28 days is up to you. So we're now done with that. And Adam is, we gotta go catch up with them. Let's go. Oh, you're waiting for us. Thank you. We'll be right back.

36:50🔗 Caller Loveline will be right back. This is Loveline on 947-NRK. Loveline with Dr. Drew and Adam Carolla on 947-NRK.

37:18🔗 Adam Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. That's Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-L-A-V-E-1-9-1. Lindsay Price, Jay Harrington here. Both from Coupling. Hey, guys. Hey, good times. Good times. Thursdays, 9.30, NBC. You better watch this show or break your neck. What are you guys up against, Thursdays? It's a pretty popular show.

37:41🔗 Guest Ah, screw that.

37:42🔗 Adam Screw those fags.

37:44🔗 Guest Last week, they took us off, thankfully, because it was the Red Sox. The Yankees, game seven.

37:49🔗 Drew Oh, yeah.

37:50🔗 Guest Which I'm still recovering from.

37:52🔗 Adam Oh, my God.

37:53🔗 Guest Jay's having a hard time.

37:56🔗 Adam Yeah, I have a lot of Sox fans, friends that are there. It's beyond, like, it's beyond sort of jokey, laughy, hey. You know, these guys are broken. They're devastated.

38:09🔗 Guest The day after that game, I came into work. One of our grips is a Yankees fan. He's a great guy. And we have a great relationship about this series. He looks at me and puts his arm out and gives me a hug. And then they told us that we weren't going to be on for something, you know, for sweeps. And I was like, I don't, that's fine.

38:27🔗 Adam Yeah, because it really, it gives you a chance to get your priorities straight. You get caught up, you get caught up in the show biz, this glitz, the glamour, the glee glides. But then, when a baseball team 3000 miles away loses. Loses. It really kind of pulls things into focus, you know what I'm saying?

38:46🔗 Drew It makes you feel real.

38:47🔗 Guest I've invested so much into them.

38:50🔗 Adam I know, I happen to have had the, well, here's the, I never, my whole life, I never knew anybody from that area, from the Boston mass area. And for some reason, over the last like three years, every person I know now comes from that area. And I realize these guys are smart a-holes, for the most part. I don't know what it is about that region of the country, the guys, the blue collar guys are super smart. Like here, blue collar guys, stupid. Like super stupid blue collar guys. I mean, I work with these guys my whole life. They're stupid. There, they're smart. They're blue collar, they're smart, but they use their super intelligence for evil. They just, here's what they do. They don't use it to make a buck. They just do blue collar work, but they use their brain to snipe at other people. I learned this first hand when the Rams lost to the Pats. And all the Pats fans, I was actually at the Super Bowl in New Orleans. All they wanted to do, they didn't want to celebrate the victory. They wanted to find Rams fans and stick it to them. And I just realized that this is a different breed over there. Smart, but using the powers of genius for evil. Not you, Jay. You seem like one of the good ones.

40:09🔗 Guest Jay is one of the good ones.

40:11🔗 Adam Very rare. Very rare. Russ? Yeah. You're 22?

40:15🔗 Caller Yeah, that's right.

40:17🔗 Adam What's up?

40:19🔗 Caller I love to show you guys, listen to you every chance I can. But what I'm having a problem with is lately only two for maybe like the last year. Whenever I wear a condom, it seems like it either takes a really long time for me to get done or I'll lose erection during, you know, while I'm having sex.

40:40🔗 Drew You don't lose it when you're putting the condom on?

40:42🔗 Caller No, no. Once we're, you know, we're going at it for a while and after a while, like I said, it either takes me really long or it just, I lose it.

40:51🔗 Drew What kind of condoms do you use?

40:53🔗 Caller I've tried all kinds. I've tried different ones. I've tried the super sensitive ones, mostly Trojan. There was another, I think, Durex or something like that, that I've tried.

41:01🔗 Adam Have you tried the flannel lined?

41:02🔗 Caller No, I have not.

41:04🔗 Adam What is that? They're, well, it's right in the title. They're actually lined with flannel. It feels like slipping into a warm pair of pajamas.

41:11🔗 Caller Yeah. I mean like, what is there like a, is that the brand name of them or?

41:15🔗 Adam Yeah.

41:16🔗 Caller Flannel lined?

41:17🔗 Adam They got feet built in, three balls. Yeah, Drew, what is this that he keeps the erection after he puts it on, he goes for a while. Here's what, here's a theory. Maybe he's going, you say you're going for a while before you lose it, right?

41:37🔗 Caller I can go for a while and like, when I'm not wearing a condom, I have no problems at all, but it's just with it on.

41:43🔗 Adam But when you're not wearing a condom, do you orgasm after going for a while?

41:48🔗 Caller I guess, it takes a while, so I mean, if I wear an orgasm, it'll take a lot longer than, you know, normal.

41:55🔗 Drew If you're wearing a condom, are you getting the proper fit? Have you tried different sizes and things?

42:00🔗 Caller I mean, you know, I'm not here to go with the jumbles or anything. I just go with the normal sizes and they seem to fit all right.

42:06🔗 Drew They really ought to call a condom jumbo. Forget the XL, just jumbo.

42:12🔗 Adam Right.

42:12🔗 Drew That says it all. Rusty, have you tried putting lubricants on before you put the condom on?

42:19🔗 Caller No, I have not. I've just kind of...

42:20🔗 Drew Most condoms have a lubricant already, but you can put a little extra on. Some people find that helps a little bit. At least towards the tip.

42:25🔗 Caller Would that be what it is? I mean, would it be like a sensitivity issue or something?

42:29🔗 Drew Yeah, yes. That is what it is. Put extra room at the tip. Put lubricant at the tip and then see if that helps at all.

42:34🔗 Adam Yeah, but shouldn't you be working on having an orgasm too? Like, it seems like it's taken too long for you.

42:39🔗 Drew I mean, getting, maybe waiting for a while before he puts the condom on, doing other things first.

42:43🔗 Adam Yeah, I don't know. How's oral sex?

42:46🔗 Caller It's also like, I mean, sometimes, you know, with, you know, I don't want to go in without a condom at all.

42:52🔗 Drew No, I'm not saying go in. I'm saying other things.

42:55🔗 Caller I'm not with one steady girlfriend, so.

42:58🔗 Drew I'm just saying do another stuff before you start the actual intercourse.

43:02🔗 Adam Russ doesn't really sound like a ladies man.

43:07🔗 Caller No, it's not a ladies man issue. It's just, I mean, I'm not with, you know, I mean, if I'm with a girl, you know, and maybe the first time we go, I'm not going to ask her, you know, are you a whore or anything like that?

43:18🔗 Drew I'm just going to be safe with it.

43:19🔗 Adam Yeah, yeah. But the fact that she's taken money from you to have sex would probably answer this question, Russ.

43:26🔗 Guest Maybe you need to date sexier girls.

43:28🔗 Caller Yeah.

43:29🔗 Guest I'm just saying.

43:31🔗 Adam Well, it couldn't hurt.

43:34🔗 Drew I'm just saying.

43:36🔗 Adam Yeah, Russ.

43:37🔗 Caller Yeah.

43:37🔗 Adam Why don't you give those C-hags a break and step up to a real babe, perhaps a high-profile celebrity. Hey, stop banging Demi Moore or something. I bet you busted on it. I agree with Lindsay. Yeah, step up to someone good or tell what's nice is one of those Victoria's Secret models.

43:56🔗 Drew Yeah, but still.

43:57🔗 Adam That would get you going. Russ, you need to find one girl and settle into a rhythm.

44:03🔗 Drew Yes, that's right.

44:05🔗 Adam The guys that bounce around, they never dial it in. Let me explain.

44:09🔗 Guest Okay, will you?

44:10🔗 Adam I own multiple automobiles. Oh, yes. Yes. I'm literally a millionaire. Yes, sure.

44:15🔗 Drew Yes, stop, Adam. She's already completely turned up by the masturbation talk. That's a joke, yes.

44:23🔗 Adam At least it beat off in the shower. That's like an animal just beating off in the living room.

44:27🔗 Drew They crap in the shower, too.

44:28🔗 Caller That's the problem.

44:30🔗 Adam Crap in the shower one time, you get labeled. Here's my point, I have too many cars and I rotate them and I can never figure them out. I can't figure out where... Just when I get used to one, I think I'm flipping on the windshield wipers and I turn on the high beams. Everything's a little bit different. Life is not good. You think you want variety, but it really doesn't work out in anything. You need the rhythm. For 22-year-old squirrely guys, they can't bounce around from vagina to vagina. They need to find one and dial it in.

45:03🔗 Guest Plus, you're asking them to get in your new cars with a turtleneck on. I mean, it's a little uncomfortable. It's new.

45:08🔗 Adam Right. They're trying to break in and they don't know where the controls are and it always screws up and they end up dumping the clutch and stalling it in the intersection. And then they come in their pants. So I think I may have mixed my analogies. But the point is, Russ over here needs to stop folks from being the ladies' man, find himself one chick and work it out. And then you work it out, all right? Yeah. So what you do? And then you try all that good stuff. Then you think you're hot stuff and you dump her and you think you're going to get laid and you don't. Crystal, that's what happened to Drew. Right, Drew?

45:43🔗 Drew I wasn't listening in that brief moment.

45:45🔗 Adam Crystal.

45:48🔗 Drew Sleeping.

45:49🔗 Adam Crystal's sleeping? Hello?

45:51🔗 Drew There she is.

45:51🔗 Adam What's up, Crystal? Hey.

45:55🔗 Caller My boyfriend went to jail and I don't know how long he's going to be in there for, but I was wondering how long is like the normal time to wait?

46:02🔗 Drew How old is he? I don't know that anybody's defined a normal time for waiting. It's not like returning from Iraq.

46:10🔗 Caller Yeah.

46:11🔗 Adam Well, and I think it like if you have a couple of kids, you've been married for 14 years.

46:16🔗 Drew You wait.

46:17🔗 Adam You wait. If you're 18, you've been dating them for six weeks, you don't wait.

46:22🔗 Guest How long is he going to be there?

46:24🔗 Drew She doesn't know.

46:25🔗 Caller I don't know yet.

46:26🔗 Adam Mm-hmm. What's he in for? Parole violation?

46:30🔗 Caller He got in trouble for distribution and manufacturing drugs one and two and resisting arrest. But you can't get off though, like, because the officer didn't read him his rights before he arrested him.

46:45🔗 Adam So what was he doing? Cooking up some meth? Sounds like a delight, this guy. I can see why you'd want to wait. Yeah. I mean, you're not going to find guys on the outside who don't cook up ice.

46:59🔗 Guest Mm-hmm.

47:00🔗 Adam You know what I'm saying?

47:00🔗 Guest Plus all the stuff he's going to learn on the inside. Yeah.

47:03🔗 Adam And how many members of the White Aryans do you know, for instance, on the outside? Huh? Hang on there, brainiac. Hey, can you, can you sterilize yourself while we're on break?

47:17🔗 Drew Yes. I'll see to it.

47:18🔗 Adam All right, hold on there, Crystal. Can't we just sterilize these women? You know, it's just meth head's going to pop out of the joint long enough to knock her up and then hit the road again and then...

47:28🔗 Guest I'm just thinking this is a perfect time to look for a new boyfriend.

47:31🔗 Adam It's a perfect time for us to move to Canada. And really what it is. Jay and Lindsay are here. Coupling? We'll be right back. All right, guys, here's the deal.

47:41🔗 Caller Looking to hook up?

47:41🔗 Caller Call the Dateline.

47:42🔗 Caller Sick of wasting time with the wrong person?

47:44🔗 Caller Call the Dateline.

47:45🔗 Caller One call is all you need to make.

47:46🔗 Caller Call the Dateline.

47:47🔗 Caller One, eight, seven, seven, eight, eight, nine.

47:51🔗 Caller Date.

47:54🔗 Caller Adam and Dr. Drew will be right back on Loveline.

48:03🔗 Caller Loveline on 94.7 NRK.

48:05🔗 Caller We'll be right back in a minute.

48:31🔗 Adam Hey, everybody, it's Loveline, I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-LLVE-191. Lindsay Price, Jay Harrington in here tonight from Coupling. 930, Thursday Nights, NBC. Drew, remember I've been talking about getting out of this city, because it's so goddamn hot.

48:49🔗 Drew You know, I was thinking to myself today, what we ought to do is to leave.

48:52🔗 Adam Yeah, oh, no, I'm leaving tomorrow.

48:54🔗 Drew Yeah, I'll follow you. I'll follow you, where you going?

48:57🔗 Adam Going to Vegas.

48:58🔗 Drew That'll do it. Oh, that'll be much more comfortable. Are you broadcasting from there tomorrow night?

49:04🔗 Adam No, I'm getting up at 6, 15 in the morning. I'm going to Vegas. I'm doing Crank Yankers for eight hours. And then I'm coming back and then I'm coming here.

49:13🔗 Drew Why don't you just, oh, cause you have to be at Jimmy Kimmel on Friday.

49:20🔗 I'm going to be so cranky tomorrow night, Drew.

49:22🔗 Adam It's going to be entertaining.

49:23🔗 Drew Anybody interesting at Crank Yankers?

49:25🔗 Adam It's just all me. Oh, horrible.

49:28🔗 Guest So very interesting.

49:30🔗 Adam I have a cold and I'm going to be on about four and a half hours sleep. It's going to be a disaster. I'm going to be calling people, yelling at them and then hanging up. It's going to be great.

49:38🔗 All right.

49:38🔗 Adam Oh, and I think we're being sued too.

49:40🔗 Drew No.

49:41🔗 Yeah.

49:41🔗 Drew What happened?

49:42🔗 Adam I don't know. Somebody's suing us.

49:44🔗 Drew For what?

49:45🔗 Adam I don't know. All I know is I got a call from like the crank anchor office and they're like, yeah, how's Friday for the deposition? And I'm like, what deposition? And they're like, well, you guys are being sued. I'm like, oh, don't they just sue Comedy Central? Why are we getting sued? Like, now-

50:02🔗 Guest I'm picturing a puppet on the other end of that call though, for having-

50:04🔗 Yeah, that's a good point.

50:06🔗 Drew Public get deposed also?

50:08🔗 Adam I have, I know, it's my character's puppet, Burcham gets deposed. I stand under it.

50:15🔗 Guest That's what it is.

50:17🔗 Adam I had no prior knowledge of that. It was a NAMM.

50:20🔗 Drew Did you do some damage to one of his collars?

50:23🔗 Adam I have no idea.

50:25🔗 Drew But they all, you check with them before you air it?

50:27🔗 Adam Yeah, they gotta sign off before you air it.

50:29🔗 Guest Yeah.

50:29🔗 Drew I don't know. Maybe somebody didn't sign off, we got all upset.

50:32🔗 Guest Maybe it just hit them later.

50:33🔗 Adam I'm only one of the executive producers and stars. That's all I know. I don't know anything. I'll be, I'll be.

50:40🔗 Guest I think your guys are trying to get you so they can air it on you. They'll cut all those calls together.

50:46🔗 Guest It's possible. It's Ashton Kutcher and you're getting punked.

50:50🔗 Adam I don't think, they can't see it's illegal to do here in California. Like you can't call LA.

50:58🔗 Drew So what?

50:59🔗 Adam Well, we'll find out. Well, I'll tell you all about it except for the part where they tell me not to talk about. Crystal?

51:06🔗 Yeah.

51:07🔗 Adam You're 18?

51:07🔗 Caller Mm-hmm.

51:08🔗 Adam All right, so your boyfriend's in the joint.

51:11🔗 Caller Yeah.

51:12🔗 Adam He's in there for cooking up some ice.

51:14🔗 Caller Mm-hmm.

51:16🔗 Adam And he said intent to distribute and then resisting arrest.

51:20🔗 Drew Nice twist in the end there.

51:21🔗 Adam How's the resisting arrest part go?

51:23🔗 Caller He didn't really try to resist arrest. His handcuffs were behind him and they were uncomfortable, so he did that thing where you can put him in front of you. You know? And they said that was resisting arrest.

51:35🔗 Right.

51:36🔗 Drew Yeah, and Chris, I'm sure that's all he did. I'm sure, yeah. That would get you charged for that.

51:40🔗 Right.

51:41🔗 Guest Pardon the pun, but is he the rock of a guy that you want to lean on and is he have been together for a long time?

51:46🔗 Drew Yeah, Lindsay has a suggestion.

51:47🔗 Caller Uh-huh.

51:48🔗 Guest I don't know. I know, look, now I'm backpedaling because I know what it's like to be in love, but I just think that maybe this might be the perfect time to find a new boyfriend. You know? You don't have to have that, you have the actual break, the actual separation, and maybe you could be with a guy that, you know, won't get into trouble and can be there for you.

52:05🔗 Caller Yeah.

52:06🔗 Guest Really be there for you, you know?

52:07🔗 Caller But I like him.

52:09🔗 Guest I know, I know, I know.

52:11🔗 Adam It's tough, girl.

52:13🔗 Drew And I'm sure there's a long family history, a long lineage of alcoholic criminals. Your dad, no doubt, and...

52:20🔗 Caller No, actually, he's pretty cool.

52:22🔗 Drew Pretty cool.

52:22🔗 Adam Your dad?

52:23🔗 Caller Uh-huh.

52:23🔗 Adam I'm gonna go on a limb. Jewish family, yes? No! Holy Christ, I'm almost never wrong with this.

52:31🔗 Drew That's impossible. Impossible.

52:33🔗 Adam Wow. So, oh, wait a minute, it's on the mother side. Your father, he's Jewish, right?

52:40🔗 Caller No, he's German.

52:41🔗 Adam Oh, my God, Drew, it's a, it knocked me over the feather. Boy, calling from Georgia, hooked up the guys cooking up ice. It's just all lead to, it's right to the synagogue. I, I, all right, all right, I'm over this now. Yeah, it's eerie. All right, so, second guess, super albino white trash, yes? Yeah, what's your dad do?

53:08🔗 Caller My dad, he's a mechanical engineer.

53:12🔗 Adam He, he fixes school buses, right?

53:16🔗 Caller No, he invents like stuff that goes into, I don't know, it's a bunch of mechanical stuff.

53:21🔗 Drew Is he an alcoholic?

53:22🔗 Caller No.

53:23🔗 Adam No?

53:24🔗 Drew Mom?

53:25🔗 Caller My mom, no, she drinks a little bit, but she's not an alcoholic.

53:28🔗 Adam Are they still together? And nobody abused you growing up?

53:32🔗 Caller No.

53:33🔗 Drew You weren't adopted?

53:34🔗 Caller I was adopted by my dad.

53:36🔗 Drew Thank you. Oh. Where was your biological father? And he was the alcohol.

53:43🔗 Adam Let me tell you something with these retards that call the show night after night. We have to ring them like a bar rag to get an ounce of information out of them. See, here's the deal. They tell us that they're engaging in A, behavior, like I'm in love with a drug addict criminal who cooks up meth. And then B, in the same breath, they try to tell us that the parents are great, everyone's together, and there's no substance abuse. A and B don't line up. But we keep hammering them, and they're like no, no, no. And then Drew has to do a hit, and there's nothing on the screen that says anything about adoption or anything. You just know that A and B don't work together, so you have to start trying to outsmart them with adoption, right?

54:25🔗 Drew Exactly, you have to find the thing that they're not defensively trying to hide.

54:29🔗 Adam Right, all right. Crystal, what do you use him for birth control?

54:35🔗 Caller Oh, I'm not having sex with him.

54:37🔗 Drew Yeah, right at the moment.

54:39🔗 Adam Right, I understand, he can't fit his dick through the air holes in the lose sight barrier between the two of you. You never had sex? What, now what? He couldn't get hard because he was all coked up, right?

54:53🔗 Caller No, I just haven't wanted to yet.

54:56🔗 Adam Really?

54:56🔗 Guest Do folks like him?

54:59🔗 Caller They haven't really met him yet.

55:02🔗 Adam And you're not having sex with him? Why, were you ever traumatized?

55:07🔗 Caller No, I don't like him a lot, but I don't like him that much yet.

55:12🔗 Drew Alright, well then what do you use your time for?

55:13🔗 Adam Leave him in the joint.

55:15🔗 You move on, alright?

55:16🔗 Adam You're better than that, Crystal. What are you doing, are you going to junior?

55:20🔗 Drew You're being an idiot, Crystal, come on.

55:21🔗 Adam You're going to junior college?

55:23🔗 Caller No, I go to Georgia State.

55:25🔗 Adam Alright, so you're smart, going to four-year university?

55:28🔗 Caller Uh-huh.

55:28🔗 Drew Go socialize with your peers.

55:30🔗 Adam It's some college guy.

55:31🔗 Drew This is some phase you're going through, you're going to look back on and go, oh my god, what the hell was I thinking about? And I'm sure it does have something to do with your abandonment and adoption issues, but you should be able to overcome that.

55:41🔗 Guest You don't even know yet exactly what it is you want out of a guy.

55:46🔗 Drew She is being an idiot.

55:46🔗 Guest Get out there and see it.

55:48🔗 Drew How often do I say that? Never. Right? Because I expect her to be able to change. We're giving her the A, history, and the B, present behavior. She should be able to change.

55:56🔗 Adam And she's just one of those, she's trying to actually, she's trying to piss her dad off.

56:01🔗 Drew Something.

56:02🔗 Adam Her adopted dad.

56:03🔗 Drew Something. It's just, but forget it, stop.

56:05🔗 Adam Chicks love a bad boy. Lindsay, you like a bad boy?

56:08🔗 Guest I had my bad boy phase.

56:10🔗 Adam You did?

56:10🔗 Drew That's what that is. That's what that is.

56:12🔗 Guest And then it's not fun anymore.

56:14🔗 Adam Who is your guy? What do you do?

56:16🔗 Guest Oh, never in jail. Never cooked up drugs. Just, you know, the underachiever, you know, party guy.

56:25🔗 Adam You weren't a real bad boy guy.

56:27🔗 Guest No, no, no.

56:28🔗 Adam Like Lindsay's bad boy guy, he would fill out a Scantron with a number three pencil.

56:32🔗 Guest Totally, and I would be mortified. No, I come from a... My family would have killed me, you know? I always thought that was conscious of it.

56:41🔗 Adam Koreans are uptight that way.

56:42🔗 Guest Totally, you have no idea.

56:43🔗 Adam They're really troublemakers.

56:45🔗 Guest Oh, man.

56:45🔗 Adam Believe me, we know. They look after their own over there.

56:48🔗 Guest They're feisty, man.

56:50🔗 Adam Yeah. They're my family. I bring home a big 700 pound lesbian. My family's fine. Yeah. But the Koreans are smart. They look after Jews, Koreans, Asians. More than people know. Who's number two? Who's the worst?

57:07🔗 Drew Number two at what?

57:08🔗 Adam Who's, in terms of the national, they sort of pecking order.

57:12🔗 Drew Intruding into the kids' lives, you mean?

57:15🔗 Adam Yeah, well, looking out for them. Who's number one?

57:19🔗 Drew Who's passed in here? We just got a note passed to us.

57:21🔗 Adam Yeah.

57:22🔗 Drew What's it say?

57:22🔗 Adam It said, it was by my buddy Jordan, who's watching the show, and it says, what a coincidence, it's a day late in the dollar, Jordan, that her name is Crystal, and her boyfriend's cooking up meth. This is our last caller.

57:34🔗 Drew Which you mentioned the last hour.

57:36🔗 Adam We didn't mention it on the air, but Lindsay said it off the air, I think.

57:39🔗 Drew As we were going off the air.

57:40🔗 Adam Oh, as we were going into break. Yeah, yeah. Beat Out by Chick was on 90210. Funnier than you, Jordan.

57:48🔗 Drew Take that.

57:49🔗 Adam Half Korean, 90210, funnier than your ass.

57:54🔗 Drew So, number two after what? After what? After Jews?

57:57🔗 Adam Oh yeah, yeah.

57:58🔗 Guest I think that the Korean mother is definitely right there. I've known a few.

58:03🔗 Adam And Koreans probably over Japanese and Chinese.

58:06🔗 Drew Oh yes, oh yeah.

58:07🔗 Guest They like to party, they're very vocal. They like to, you know, they're a lively group.

58:12🔗 Drew We get a lot of calls from Korean kids who have eating disorders and are very intruded and feel very oppressed by their parents or just intrude in every aspect of their life.

58:21🔗 Adam Yeah. And they don't like them stepping out of the race either for those marriage guys.

58:26🔗 Drew Some of that too. They're Korean men? Do they arrange marriages?

58:28🔗 Guest No, but you know, my parents are interracial.

58:30🔗 Yeah, who are they to talk?

58:32🔗 Drew Her mom's not going to let that happen again.

58:35🔗 Adam Did they give you any crap for?

58:37🔗 Guest No, never. They're really cool.

58:39🔗 Adam They're not hypocrites. Martin?

58:43🔗 Hey, how you doing guys?

58:44🔗 Adam You're 20, what's up?

58:46🔗 Caller Hey man, check this out. Oh, Adam, I'm a big fan of yours, man, for years. This weekend, I went to Vegas and I had sex with a couple of girls and I used condoms with nonoxal-9-spermicide, but I read two months ago in the paper that nonoxal-9-spermicide actually increases the risk of HIV.

59:07🔗 Drew Yeah, there has been that report. It's probably, it's not a significant issue, Martin. I wouldn't worry about it.

59:15🔗 Adam You want to go ahead and pronounce it like a human?

59:17🔗 Drew Nonoxan-9-9. And it probably causes some inflammation, irritation in the mucosa, particularly like anal sex and might increase the risk of transmission that way. It is something that, just don't worry about it. It's a good backup for pregnancy. It really is not something that's useful in terms of preventing STDs. Not a big deal.

59:35🔗 Adam Blah blah. I'm sorry. Hey, Martin. Who would you mean you're having sex with a couple of chicks?

59:41🔗 Guest Yeah, wait, go back to that. Vegas?

59:43🔗 Guest Vegas, man.

59:44🔗 Caller Yeah, I went to Vegas this weekend because it was my friend's birthday and oh my god, Adam, it was, oh my god.

59:50🔗 Adam Tell you what, just because of your recommendation, I'm going to get up at 615 tomorrow, go to Burbank Airport and go to Vegas.

59:59🔗 Adam, and it's...

1:00:00🔗 Caller It's not even hot out there, Adam.

1:00:01🔗 Adam The plane leaves at 755.

1:00:04🔗 Drew Oh, yeah, yeah.

1:00:04🔗 Adam It's not hot in Vegas?

1:00:06🔗 It's not that hot, man. You know, I was surprised it was at least 80, at least 80.

1:00:11🔗 Caller It's hotter out here, man.

1:00:13🔗 Drew Well, you know what, Adam? It'll be nice, because you'll be packed into that Southwest flight, facing the wrong way.

1:00:21🔗 Let me say something.

1:00:24🔗 Adam Let me tell you something about Southwest. Southwest is great if you're unemployed, you know? If you have, it's like, look, if someone says, I got to get to Portland and back, I have $12.

1:00:39🔗 Drew And 20 minutes. And 20 minutes.

1:00:41🔗 Adam It's a great airline. It's a wretched airline if you're used to flying first class and Comedy Central is going to pay for the ticket. Do you know what it's like saying, look, they say, look, we'll pay for the ticket, whatever it costs to get you to Vegas. Yeah, you owe me $22. That's for two, it's five people flying round trip to Vegas and back Southwest. Southwest is great. No assigned seating. That's another nice thing. You get that seat that faces the wrong way, so it feels like your lungs are going to come out when you're taking off. They're always packed and because there's no assigned seating, if you don't get there, they just give away your seat.

1:01:20🔗 Guest And you got to fight for it.

1:01:21🔗 Adam Oh, and it's great. And then once in a while, some pussy calls up and says, her son is allergic to peanuts, so they cut the peanuts off. You get that crappy dried fiesta crap mix.

1:01:31🔗 Guest Also, when you fly Southwest to Vegas, they always say something really clever when you're about to get off the plane like, I hope you get lucky in Vegas. Yeah.

1:01:40🔗 Adam But here's all I'm saying. Is there no normal airline that goes from Burbank to Vegas? United. No. Once a week or something. They go on the winter salsa. Yes. They go only on leap years.

1:01:55🔗 Guest You got to get Jet Blue to go.

1:01:57🔗 Adam They got to get somebody decent. I fear that Southwest is somehow paying off some senator or something and monopolizing something and there's something. But I'm telling you, eight o'clock tomorrow morning I'm going to be wedged in between some couple guys with thyroid conditions wearing cutoff sweats and life beaters and Zorries. That's the other thing about Southwest. Like, forget about the fact that people used to wear ascots and blazers. Southwest is cutoffs and boners. Like, guys, I swear to Christ, the guys on the airline with t-shirts with cutoff sleeves and like a cropped short midriff and stuff like, where are you going?

1:02:42🔗 Guest I think they put some sort of forget, you know, juice in the drinks because two weeks later you'll book that flight again. Oh yeah, it's only 38 bucks I'm going to go and you'll have the hell flight there and back.

1:02:51🔗 Adam No, but I have no choice because if I leave LAX at a, it's sit on the, sit in the freeway and deal with the whole rig and remote roar over there and getting backs and everything's a cluster F out of LAX, so you got to fly. But here's all, okay, here's what I want to say. I hope someone from Southwest is listening.

1:03:10🔗 Drew Let's get the fast train is what I'm saying.

1:03:12🔗 Adam Okay, first off, what about that effing bullet train? Okay, I got a whole bunch of stuff to say. First off, they've been building this mother effing bullet train from LA to Vegas for the last 30 years.

1:03:25🔗 Guest It's a myth, like the unicorn. It's not real.

1:03:28🔗 Drew Yes, absolutely.

1:03:28🔗 Guest It's not real.

1:03:29🔗 Drew Correct.

1:03:29🔗 Adam They have, these things run all over Europe, they run all over Asia, they run all over everywhere, except for here. And what is it about Southern California where there's just zero forms of transportation?

1:03:42🔗 Drew Well, we're getting there, but now that we've got it, they're all going on strike. Yeah, now that we're starting to get used to it, we're ruining our lives.

1:03:47🔗 Adam The subway's been up and running for 15 minutes, these guys need another bus. I want to get a bullet train going from LA to Vegas. There's nothing but desert in between here and there. It's got to be a penny an acre from here to there. Let's just get the bullet train worked out. Could we, fellas? And the thing about... Here's okay, now here's what I'm saying. They have dress codes to get into clubs. You know what I mean? You can't be wearing... Restaurants, you can't be wearing Cut-Off and go to the Magic Castle.

1:04:15🔗 Drew 7-Elevens, for God's sake. You know, shoes, shirts are required.

1:04:19🔗 Adam Yeah. If you're an airline, you gotta have... Guys cannot be wearing the Cut-Off sweats and the tank tops that say Fly United with the geese effing on it.

1:04:28🔗 Drew It's even more important...

1:04:31🔗 Adam Spelling the guy's PO.

1:04:32🔗 Drew That's why.

1:04:33🔗 Adam His bare shoulders rubbing up against you. Really?

1:04:36🔗 I gotta feel your bare skin. You can't wear sleeves.

1:04:40🔗 Adam Really? You can't wear sleeves.

1:04:42🔗 Like, what happened?

1:04:44🔗 Adam I mean, I swear to God, in the Vegas, to Burbank is the worst. That's the baton death march of airline flights. You got Nevada people and you got Burbank-ian, Valid people, none of them have a nickel to rub together and for some reason their luck's gonna change when they get to Vegas. Just a bunch of fat, smelly retards who don't have the common decency and dignity to put some sleeves on. But here's what I'm saying. You leave the house. I swear to God I saw this guy sat next to me last time. He's wearing cut-off sweats. He's got a t-shirt with the sleeves cut off and he's wearing, pardon me, oh, you're Korean, jet flaps. And I'm thinking, where did you think you were going? You don't even have pockets. Did you think you were going to play some beach volleyball and got rerouted to the airport to go to a different state?

1:05:40🔗 Caller You're leaving the state!

1:05:43🔗 Caller Don't you need things?

1:05:45🔗 Adam Don't you want pockets? What's going on? Where are you going?

1:05:50🔗 Drew Vegas.

1:05:53🔗 Adam I swear to Christ. Southwest.

1:05:55🔗 Guest And they're going to make, they're going to go out of their way to make sure they have a wonderful flight.

1:05:59🔗 Drew Oh yeah.

1:05:59🔗 Adam Just like, let's just say, you have to be wearing shorts that at least have a hem on them. You can't be wearing cut off.

1:06:06🔗 Drew Yes. And it's in general. And cover your arms.

1:06:09🔗 Adam And you need to have a sleeve that comes midway down your upper arm.

1:06:14🔗 Guest A three quarter sleeve.

1:06:16🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:06:17🔗 Drew And no offensive imagery on your chest or back.

1:06:20🔗 Adam That's right. Right.

1:06:22🔗 Drew No making bacon t-shirts.

1:06:24🔗 Adam Right, right. No, no, yes.

1:06:25🔗 Guest I work hard. I play hard.

1:06:27🔗 Adam I stay hard.

1:06:28🔗 Caller Take a hike to hell.

1:06:29🔗 Adam Or the big Johnson guy with his dumb dick reference.

1:06:32🔗 Guest There's something to be said about how we used to, or not we, but.

1:06:36🔗 Drew Dress for.

1:06:36🔗 Guest Dress up and for everything.

1:06:39🔗 Adam I don't need tasseled loafers and ascots, but sleeves.

1:06:43🔗 Drew Clothing.

1:06:44🔗 Guest Yeah.

1:06:45🔗 Adam Clothing would be fine.

1:06:47🔗 Guest I'm equally offended by how mostly women when they travel they wear the matching jumpsuit, the matching sweatsuit.

1:06:54🔗 Drew Oh yeah.

1:06:55🔗 Guest It is like the standard. Yeah, it's the standard.

1:06:57🔗 Drew That's standard planetire, isn't it?

1:06:58🔗 Guest Yeah, and it really bothers me.

1:06:59🔗 Drew That's transcontinental though. Those people are going to fly to New York and stuff to get the pajamas on.

1:07:03🔗 Guest True, true. But I just, you know, I want a little more, you know, imagination in my flightwear.

1:07:10🔗 Drew Oh, sorry. That's the Korean version of what you're talking about.

1:07:14🔗 Caller Korean mom.

1:07:15🔗 Adam That's who's talking there. Round-eyed dad's cool with whatever. Korean mom wants everyone to wear gray uniform, jumpsuits.

1:07:24🔗 Caller Everybody. Everybody.

1:07:26🔗 Guest I'm saying break out, people. Wear some color.

1:07:28🔗 Adam That's right. It should be like a Nike commercial. I just prayed a holy Christ that there's people sitting next to me that have sleeves and legs on their shoulders.

1:07:39🔗 Guest And they haven't listened to Tonight Show.

1:07:40🔗 Drew I can't wait to see Monite Show to hear what actually happened. Look, it'll be cooler. It'll be cooler. I got to beat the heat. That's going to be great. All right.

1:07:51🔗 Adam Let's take ourselves a little break. Lindsay and Jay here from Coupling and we'll be right back.

1:08:03🔗 Caller 1-800-LOVE-191.

1:08:05🔗 Caller Loveline will be right back.

1:08:09🔗 Caller Loveline is brought to you by Trojan, America's number one condom.

1:08:12🔗 Caller The most trusted for over 80 years.

1:08:27🔗 Adam That's Dr. Drew, Lindsay Price, Jay Harrington here tonight from Coupling. The sitcom is on Thursday nights, 9.30 on NBC. All right, now, where were we, Drew?

1:08:40🔗 Drew Taking calls, hopefully.

1:08:41🔗 Adam Taking calls, that's right. Because the show's about you.

1:08:45🔗 Drew Not about the airlines.

1:08:46🔗 Adam It's not about us. Let me explain.

1:08:49🔗 Drew No, no, no, just take the call. Don't explain anything.

1:08:51🔗 Adam I'm saying, you guys are the star of this show. But you don't get paid, right?

1:08:57🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:08:57🔗 Adam Yeah, but you're the star.

1:08:58🔗 Drew That's how that works.

1:08:59🔗 Adam Yeah. Without you, we wouldn't have a show. Except for I would just talk for two hours.

1:09:05🔗 Drew Like I said, we wouldn't have a show.

1:09:08🔗 Adam Mike? You're 16, what's going on? You're calling from Minnesota, yes?

1:09:16🔗 Caller What, what, what?

1:09:17🔗 Adam Hold on, what's the temperature there?

1:09:19🔗 Caller 55 and feeling good, man.

1:09:21🔗 Caller I have a question.

1:09:26🔗 Caller I think that my parents are huge hypocrites. I used to come home so a lot and I'd get in trouble and they'd be like, who smokes weed on Sunday nights? And a week later, I'd be out mowing the lawn and I'd see them out there smoking Joy on the Deck and guess what day it would be?

1:09:46🔗 Drew Oh, Sunday, yeah.

1:09:47🔗 Caller What's your question? My...

1:09:49🔗 Drew Yes, they are hypocrites. Parents are hypocrites.

1:09:52🔗 Caller Am I wrong to feel that they're hypocrites?

1:09:56🔗 Drew No, they're hypocrites. Here's the beauty of being a kid, though, is, and the parents don't understand, that whatever they do, whatever it is, you reserve the right to at least do that. And so for them to say, hey, we can do this here, but you can't, or you can do this here, not there, there's no 16-year-old on earth that listens to that.

1:10:17🔗 Adam Yeah, but who cares? I mean, you shouldn't just tell your kid, listen, I'm your dad, I'm your mom, do as we say.

1:10:24🔗 Drew That's it. Yeah, I understand that, but as the adult, you have to also do as you say to do, because if you don't, the kids will not listen to everything you say. That's the way it is.

1:10:36🔗 Adam I know, but I-

1:10:36🔗 Drew You can still insist upon it, and it is hypocritical.

1:10:38🔗 Adam I'm not gonna sneak around with my kids. I mean, I think there's certain things that are acceptable for, you know, I like to drink a glass of wine. I don't want my kid drinking a glass of wine if they're 13 or 14 or 15 years old. I like to drink. Daddy likes wine a lot, a lot. And you're looking good, by the way, too, sis. No, daddy likes to drink wine, but daddy goes to work, and daddy makes a bunch of money and puts a roof over everyone's head and food in the fridge.

1:11:08🔗 Drew But be that as it may, I know how 16 year olds think they will think to themselves, or who does he think he is telling me that I can't drink wine? He drinks a glass every night.

1:11:15🔗 Adam Yeah, that's why I straighten them out.

1:11:17🔗 Drew Well, but they're gonna do it. I'm just telling you, they're gonna do, at minimum, what you do. At minimum.

1:11:23🔗 Adam Yeah, but listen, I smoke pot and drink, and my dad never smoked pot or drank.

1:11:27🔗 Drew I said the minimum you could do is nothing, which is what your dad, then you go beyond that.

1:11:31🔗 Adam Well, look, here's the deal. If you don't do anything, your 16 year old will smoke weed. If you smoke weed, he'll smoke weed. If you don't smoke weed, he'll smoke weed. If you tell him weed is bad, he'll smoke weed.

1:11:40🔗 Drew But you won't be able to get him not to smoke weed.

1:11:42🔗 Adam At least this way you're getting high.

1:11:44🔗 Caller That's all I'm saying.

1:11:45🔗 Drew Anyway, Mike, it is hypocrisy, but they have your best interest in mind.

1:11:48🔗 Adam Listen, you don't get to use the word hypocrisy when you're 16.

1:11:51🔗 Drew Yes, that's the point. Just because it's hypocritical doesn't mean you shouldn't listen to them or they can't say what they're saying. They're trying to, even spite of themselves being screw-ups, they're trying to help you not be one.

1:12:01🔗 Adam Yeah. I mean, I was a horrible student, but I would get on my kids if they brought home math.

1:12:06🔗 Drew You shouldn't tell them about a student. You shouldn't talk about it with your kid.

1:12:09🔗 Adam No, hold on a second. Listen, I'm in charge. My kids are going to respect me.

1:12:13🔗 Drew Oh, I cannot wait for this. I cannot wait. I cannot wait.

1:12:17🔗 Adam It's a pansy blow in the wind like you.

1:12:20🔗 Drew Oh my God.

1:12:21🔗 Adam Will you hurry up?

1:12:21🔗 Drew Are you going to have kids soon? Please.

1:12:23🔗 Adam Your kids, yeah. Your kids see your wife kicking her ass all over the house. They stop right over you.

1:12:28🔗 Drew They're like, do you have it?

1:12:30🔗 Adam No, I have two moms. That's what they say about you. Two moms. One mom has a peepee. Yeah. But the other mom kicks the peepee all around. Actually they keep the doodle berries that hang under the peepee. She keeps them in a jar. She promised, man, she promised not to tell them where they were.

1:12:53🔗 All right.

1:12:54🔗 Drew Let's see. Speaking of the Amazon review, somebody referred to my wife kicking my ass based on what you were saying.

1:13:00🔗 Adam Well, it's true. Look, here's all you need to know about the pee-whip factor with Drew. All you need to know. This is all you need to know. Everyone listen up.

1:13:09🔗 Caller I need to know all I need to know.

1:13:10🔗 Adam And don't interrupt. Just listen.

1:13:11🔗 Caller Take it in.

1:13:12🔗 Adam Drew, and I'm going to be fair to you, Drew did his undergrad stuff at Amherst.

1:13:18🔗 Caller Right.

1:13:19🔗 Adam But then he went to USC. He went to USC. He's a Trojan.

1:13:24🔗 Caller Graduate school.

1:13:25🔗 Adam To graduate school. How long were you there?

1:13:27🔗 Drew At medical school.

1:13:29🔗 Caller How many years?

1:13:30🔗 Adam Eight years. USC. His wife did a couple semesters at UCLA. All right. Now, once a year when UCLA plays USC in the big Crosstown Rival, Drew is forced to sit with the UCLAers and cheer on the Bruins. Sacrilege, I say. Cheering on the Bruins has to because of his wife. Even though he has eight years as a Trojan.

1:13:58🔗 Guest You can't just sit there and silently support. You have to actually vocally cheer.

1:14:03🔗 Adam Yes.

1:14:04🔗 Guest That's a problem.

1:14:05🔗 Adam He has to pull his shirt up and rub his nipples and cry and cheer.

1:14:12🔗 Guest Now, to truly be fair to me, is it sometimes whoever is better, you sort of do it now?

1:14:17🔗 Adam Yes.

1:14:17🔗 Drew I'm a fair weather fan.

1:14:19🔗 Adam A.

1:14:19🔗 Drew The Rose Bowl is 800 yards from our backyard.

1:14:23🔗 Guest A lot nicer than going downtown.

1:14:25🔗 Drew So, we get used to fall on the broadside and she likes the broadside, and I like the fall side.

1:14:29🔗 Caller And she likes the broadside.

1:14:31🔗 Drew Now, when there's the SCU, I will cheer for SCU.

1:14:33🔗 Adam No, you won't. Sitting where?

1:14:35🔗 Drew So, you cheer for the winner. On the broadside.

1:14:37🔗 Adam That's right.

1:14:38🔗 Drew Sitting on the broadside. The pride it takes to be able to stand up amongst all that yellow and gold.

1:14:42🔗 Adam You're wearing yellow and gold, you puss.

1:14:45🔗 Guest With the number one fan on the back.

1:14:47🔗 Adam You ain't even yellow and gold. Gold and blue. Light blue. Light blue. Crushed baby blue. Who basically came up with powder blue? Like, I know what color, we'll do like a golden rod and a powder blue. It's like, powder blue? What are you, high? What's up? Who came up with that?

1:15:06🔗 Guest It's flattering to most skin tones. It's very universal.

1:15:11🔗 Adam All the black guys in the team are summers. Is this why they do it? Like how does this work?

1:15:17🔗 Guest The guy can't throw the ball, but he looks really good.

1:15:21🔗 Adam I think they just kind of rip off Cal, like the Bears and Cal. I know, but here's what I'm saying. Wasn't Cal Berkeley around before UCLA and they just knocked off? They took the fighting song.

1:15:32🔗 Drew All the UCs are supposed to have the same fight song, I think.

1:15:35🔗 Adam They do?

1:15:36🔗 Drew I think that's right.

1:15:37🔗 Caller Yeah. Holy Christ.

1:15:38🔗 Drew It's all UC.

1:15:38🔗 Caller It's all the years coming up.

1:15:43🔗 Adam Chris?

1:15:43🔗 Drew It's at different tempos.

1:15:44🔗 Adam Hello?

1:15:45🔗 Caller All right.

1:15:46🔗 Adam To me, they're all the USC that's all bum bum.

1:15:48🔗 Drew It's the same mascots too, the bears.

1:15:50🔗 Adam Yeah. But the UCLA bears, such a sissy bear.

1:15:55🔗 Guest Did you go to fake UCLA?

1:15:57🔗 Guest It was a fake, I came on after the California University, but I was after the college days.

1:16:04🔗 Adam What's the big deal with those shows that they can't just actually use the university? I'd have to keep making one up.

1:16:08🔗 Guest Biggest pet peeve of mine when they make up stuff that you know is so close to the real, why don't they just do the real thing?

1:16:13🔗 Guest I always wonder if it's legal or make sure people know that it's not reality or something.

1:16:17🔗 Adam Yeah, I mean, why wouldn't you just like, I mean, here's the old deal. Like, here's what I can't figure out in this business. And this is why we never take any calls.

1:16:24🔗 Caller But Chris will be with you.

1:16:26🔗 Adam They have product placement. Like if you're doing a movie, Coke will pay a million bucks to have Jim Carrey drinking the Coke in a scene. Fine. This is advertisement. You put it on the sides of race cars and blimps, you buy commercial time. But then sometimes you go out and shoot a bit and you're wearing a pair of Nike's. I got to put a piece of gaffers tape over the Nike swoosh and it's like, why do I put tape on my shoe? And they're like, we got to get rid of it and we can't risk showing it.

1:16:53🔗 Drew It's like creating a market, eh?

1:16:55🔗 Adam I'm not doing gay porn with the Nike's on. We're just doing a bit.

1:16:58🔗 Drew You know, it's not so much that Nike will be upset. It's that you can't create a market unless you control it.

1:17:04🔗 Adam How about I just act like a human being that wears shoes that sometimes have brand names and not gaffers tape?

1:17:09🔗 Drew That wouldn't be TV.

1:17:11🔗 Adam And here's the thing, like, yeah, find a school that is willing to work with you, sign a little thing that says, okay, we're not going to have a scene where we smear fecal matter over the mascot. I mean, we're not...

1:17:23🔗 Guest I got to pass this fecal thing as like a theme.

1:17:26🔗 Guest It's the theme of the night.

1:17:27🔗 Adam Oh, no, every night.

1:17:28🔗 Drew He moved off masturbation.

1:17:29🔗 Adam And in the fecal. Right. We're not going to do anything to hurt the image of the school and we'll give the school maybe enrollment will go up next semester.

1:17:38🔗 Drew Exactly.

1:17:39🔗 Adam And meanwhile, you got the shirts, you got the sweaters, you got the game, you some actual game footage on a Saturday. You got it. And all of a sudden people are buying it a little bit. What? I don't see what's wrong with that. Get Aaron Spelling on the phone. Chris?

1:17:55🔗 Yes.

1:17:55🔗 Adam You're 19?

1:17:56🔗 Caller I am 19.

1:17:58🔗 Adam What's happening?

1:17:59🔗 Caller Well, just want to let you know, I actually came up with a better question that probably do me a little bit better. It has to do with addiction and tobacco. So I started out.

1:18:09🔗 Drew What was your original question?

1:18:11🔗 Caller What's that?

1:18:11🔗 Drew What was your original question?

1:18:13🔗 Caller My original question had to do with my girlfriend.

1:18:16🔗 Drew Go ahead.

1:18:18🔗 Adam With which question?

1:18:19🔗 Drew The first question.

1:18:20🔗 Caller The first question?

1:18:21🔗 Drew I don't like questions people are sitting around concocting them while they're on hold.

1:18:24🔗 Adam All right, Jack. First question.

1:18:26🔗 Caller First question. Well, me and my girlfriend have been going out for a year and a half now, and just recently she started to back up on the romance.

1:18:36🔗 Drew On the romance. That's a blessing, right?

1:18:37🔗 Adam A year and a half. Well, I think it means the humping part, right?

1:18:41🔗 Caller Well, you know, a little bit of everything.

1:18:44🔗 Adam She's reeling it in? Are you guys not having sex?

1:18:47🔗 Caller Well, not so much. All right.

1:18:50🔗 Adam Drew hates you, by the way. I'm just sort of a little conned.

1:18:53🔗 Drew It's like, it's like, what?

1:18:53🔗 Adam You're not having sex. She's kind of backing up.

1:18:56🔗 Drew Wait, no, no, no, no. How often were you having sex before?

1:18:59🔗 Caller Well, every day.

1:19:01🔗 Drew Every day.

1:19:01🔗 Adam And where are you at now?

1:19:03🔗 Caller Pretty much nothing.

1:19:05🔗 Drew Nothing, pretty much. How often?

1:19:08🔗 Caller Well, once a week, maybe.

1:19:10🔗 Drew He's making this up as he goes.

1:19:13🔗 Adam Yeah. You don't sound interested in your own question.

1:19:16🔗 Caller No, no, Mike. Well, what my main concern is, is how can I make her feel more comfortable?

1:19:22🔗 Drew See.

1:19:24🔗 Adam What does that mean? But put a pillow under her ass? What do you mean?

1:19:30🔗 Caller Emotionally.

1:19:31🔗 Adam All right. Drew's got a puss on. I'm going to move forward. I'm going to ask Lindsay. Well, usually when what?

1:19:39🔗 Drew How old is she? She's done.

1:19:40🔗 Adam She's packing it in.

1:19:41🔗 Drew No matter how much more comfortable or whatever you do, she's done. Her body is telling you that. Her libido is telling you that. She's checking out. Okay. Yeah.

1:19:49🔗 Guest No, there's no flowers or mixtapes that can.

1:19:53🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:19:54🔗 Guest It's got to be. I'm a fan of the mixtape. She's got to want to, you know, be romantic with you, you know, instinctually.

1:20:02🔗 Drew So sit down and watch couplings.

1:20:03🔗 Adam Yeah, that's right.

1:20:04🔗 Guest Sit down Thursday night and watch a very special coupling.

1:20:07🔗 Adam Yeah, dedicated to you. That's at 9.30?

1:20:11🔗 Guest 9.30, watch it.

1:20:14🔗 Drew That's a bogus question. That's why he's concocting another one. He's sitting on a whole... I thought of a better one. Yeah, I thought of a better one. I've dreamed up a better one now.

1:20:22🔗 Caller Come on.

1:20:22🔗 Drew No.

1:20:23🔗 Adam What's worse than 19-year-old males?

1:20:26🔗 Drew 17-year-old males.

1:20:27🔗 Caller Really? Yeah. 17-year-old males seem somewhat pliable, though, like I can mold them just a little bit.

1:20:33🔗 Guest Sometimes.

1:20:34🔗 Drew Sometimes. Think of your buddies at 17. Think about that.

1:20:37🔗 Guest I went to college at 17. I was a young 17. I was a kid. Really? I didn't know what the hell was going on.

1:20:42🔗 Adam Did they move you up a grade?

1:20:43🔗 Guest No. I was just born in 71 in November, so it would be maybe a little bit to November. Yeah. I should have stayed back. But I went to college just lost.

1:20:52🔗 Drew In Massachusetts?

1:20:53🔗 Guest No. But Syracuse.

1:20:54🔗 Drew Oh, I'm going there a couple of weeks.

1:20:56🔗 Guest I was just there last weekend.

1:20:58🔗 Adam Oh, yeah. Drew and I went there and walked through the graveyard behind the college.

1:21:01🔗 Drew And there had been a tornado the week before.

1:21:04🔗 Guest My dorm was right around the corner from there. It was Halloween. You'd always walk by. Oh, yeah.

1:21:08🔗 Adam Yeah. Nice. Build a college right on top of the graveyard. Sweet.

1:21:12🔗 Guest Right next to a crappy city.

1:21:14🔗 Adam Yeah. Study all you want. One day, you'll be there. See all those people?

1:21:20🔗 Drew You go down urban hell, then over here in the graveyard.

1:21:22🔗 Guest Ugly city in the world. And then, yeah.

1:21:24🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:21:24🔗 Guest Graveyard.

1:21:25🔗 Caller All those people.

1:21:26🔗 Adam They studied, too. Fantastic.

1:21:31🔗 Caller Nikki?

1:21:31🔗 Yes?

1:21:32🔗 Adam You're 19?

1:21:33🔗 Caller Mm-hmm.

1:21:34🔗 Adam What's up?

1:21:35🔗 Caller Well, a while back, maybe about a month ago, while I... I've been using tampons for a while. And, you know, you insert it, I guess, there's the right way and the wrong way to do it. Well, I try... Well, one time I did it, and now I've been getting these really bad pains. And it happened the day that I... I think I inserted it wrong.

1:21:54🔗 Drew What do you mean by the wrong way? What does that mean?

1:21:55🔗 Caller Well, I'm not sure.

1:21:57🔗 Caller I know there's, like, a wrong way of inserting it. I'm thinking that I could have, like...

1:22:00🔗 Caller Sideways?

1:22:01🔗 Adam Storing first?

1:22:02🔗 Caller Well, no, not sideways.

1:22:03🔗 Caller But, you know, there's, like, I don't know. I mean, there's ways of inserting it, like, the right way, you know?

1:22:10🔗 Adam Oh, wait a minute. I think... Did it smell like poopy?

1:22:14🔗 Drew Oh, exactly the wrong way. I see what you mean.

1:22:15🔗 Adam Is that what you're saying? I want to get back to my ass thing.

1:22:19🔗 Caller Hey, hey, hey.

1:22:20🔗 Adam We strayed for a couple of seconds talking about the cemetery. What about it?

1:22:25🔗 Drew So, you went and you did something wrong, you traumatized things on the way in and...

1:22:29🔗 Caller And I just keep getting this pain, like, it's not a burning pain, it hurt. And I went to my doctor and he said that, oh, he just prescribed me some medicine or whatever and he said I'd be fine, but the pain...

1:22:39🔗 Drew What kind of medicine? What medicine?

1:22:41🔗 Caller You know what? I don't even know. I don't remember.

1:22:43🔗 Drew Antibiotics?

1:22:43🔗 Caller Yeah, it was antibiotics. And he said he thinks... Well, he thought it was like a urinary tract infection, but...

1:22:49🔗 Drew Right. It sounds like that. So did they check your urine?

1:22:52🔗 Caller He checked it and he said I was fine, but I'm still getting these pains and I kind of...

1:22:56🔗 Drew So did they do a pelvic exam on you?

1:22:59🔗 Caller No, not yet. I have to make another appointment to go for that because...

1:23:02🔗 Drew That's what needs to happen to see if there's something, if you've traumatized something or maybe have an infection there, a cervicitis, something like that. And also they can reach in and feel the tubes and see if they're infected. Maybe you introduced something, some bacteria, something got up in there, causal infection. An antibiotic would be the right thing to do if you're having pelvic pain because you can get pelvic inflammatory disease that's non-sexually transmitted, something to barely pay attention to. So yes, get back, get your pelvic exam done, have the urine checked again, and don't assume this is just nothing. Make sure it's looked into carefully. Thank you.

1:23:35🔗 Adam Read the instructions.

1:23:38🔗 Drew That the applicator doesn't go in with it.

1:23:43🔗 Adam Come on, Drew.

1:23:43🔗 Caller Please. How dare you?

1:23:44🔗 Adam She's no fool. I used to play with the applicators when I was a kid, like I found one in the garbage. It's like a telescope. You know what I'm talking about?

1:23:57🔗 Guest I'm stumped. I didn't know there was a wrong way.

1:24:00🔗 Drew I think she just did something. She traumatized her.

1:24:04🔗 Guest I think I remember a story when I was a kid. Someone's sister, Toxic Shock.

1:24:07🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:24:07🔗 Guest Yeah, from that? Mm-hmm.

1:24:09🔗 Adam Toxic Shock Syndrome. Not so popular anymore.

1:24:12🔗 Drew It's a pretty rare syndrome.

1:24:13🔗 Guest It sounds like a band.

1:24:14🔗 Drew It's for real. And people need to know about it. A lot of people sort of learned how to avoid getting that, and so you don't see it so commonly, but it happens. Absolutely. By basically occluding a body cavity. If you have nasal surgery and they pack the nose during your, if you have an infection, you get a tampon or leave it in too long or even things like sponges or diaphragms can cause it. And a certain bacteria overgrows and the toxin gets into your bloodstream and causes this very, very, very septic toxic syndrome.

1:24:41🔗 Adam Isn't it true that, like my screwball hippie mom was in love with the word toxic, toxin, which didn't seem to exist in the 50s and the 60s and then somewhere in the 70s it started creeping in and the next thing you know it would get worked into every one of these hippies conversations.

1:24:59🔗 Drew It is the most nonsensical term out there. It means absolutely nothing. They need to define precisely what they're talking about and what these biologic or chemical agents do precisely. Otherwise it has no meaning.

1:25:12🔗 Adam Yeah but it was always this sort of thing, it's like, it's this L. Ron Hubbard thing. It's the same thing. It's like we live in a real toxic environment. Okay the water you drink, the air you breathe, your clothes, the fabric, the interior of your car, the stuff, you know the stuff they manufacture, the carpets and the wallpapers, it's all toxic.

1:25:29🔗 Drew Forget the fact that people are living longer than ever in history.

1:25:32🔗 Adam No, I know. But they're filled with toxins, okay? And here's what it is. You live in this toxic environment, and you absorb the toxins, and you ever feel tired? Okay, that's the toxin, and what happens is your body starts to accumulate toxins and it starts to fill up with toxins, that slows you down, okay? Because we're in a toxic environment, and you have to flush out the toxins every once in a while. You're talking about this purif, this strain? It's just idiots that don't want to...

1:26:04🔗 Guest I think everything is just balancing itself out perfectly.

1:26:07🔗 Adam Here's the whole thing, for f-toxins, if you're happy, you have energy. When you're depressed, you sit around and smoke weed and talk about toxins. So then everything goes back to... Then there's an enema. You've got to flush out the toxins.

1:26:20🔗 Drew Yeah, this weird preoccupation with things which are outside your body. In your colon, things are outside your body. But that has to be removed?

1:26:28🔗 Adam There's toxic plaque that is built up inside you. We have to flush it out, okay? That's why you feel tired. Sometimes, when the alarm goes off, do you wish you could sleep another half an hour? You do, don't you? You do. I can see. Yes. Okay, that's toxins. It's all toxins. Really? Really? You fat ass die earlier and everybody else is around smoking weed all day long and you don't work.

1:26:51🔗 Guest Don't they say we're lying? Our intestines are lined with?

1:26:53🔗 Adam Lined with toxins.

1:26:54🔗 Guest Stuffed and just like a rubber tire.

1:26:57🔗 Drew That's such total business. It's amazing. That's all outside our body. Your colon, from the mouth to the colon, is outside your body.

1:27:03🔗 Adam Drew, explain the outside and the inside thing. It's very confusing.

1:27:05🔗 Drew It's a tube. There's a tube that goes from one end to the other and it's outside your body and it's designed to keep everything outside your body. It doesn't let anything in.

1:27:13🔗 Adam It's inside.

1:27:14🔗 Drew It's within your corpus but it's outside your body. It's in your body. And listen, nothing is ever squeakier, cleaner than a colon when we do colonoscopies, which we do on everybody every three to five years.

1:27:24🔗 Adam What about the plaque, dude?

1:27:25🔗 Drew The colonoscopy itself does not make them healthier.

1:27:28🔗 Adam What about the toxic plaque?

1:27:29🔗 Drew I mean, we get every speck of everything out of this.

1:27:33🔗 Adam The toxic plaque.

1:27:34🔗 Drew Every speck of everything. And that does nothing for their health other than prevent cancer if we see one in there. That's it. So let's go.

1:27:40🔗 Adam I'm giving myself an animal anyway. Heat up the coffee.

1:27:43🔗 Drew Let's go.

1:27:44🔗 Adam Fill up the bag. We'll take ourselves a quick break. We'll be right back. Love Line! I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. Jay Harrington, Lindsay Price here tonight from Coupling. When I always want to say couplings. Me too. You do? Yeah.

1:28:32🔗 Guest I've noticed, though, that you haven't, and I'm impressed.

1:28:34🔗 Adam I want to.

1:28:35🔗 Guest I know you do.

1:28:36🔗 Adam So many things I want to do that I don't end up doing.

1:28:38🔗 Guest I know.

1:28:39🔗 Adam That is NBC, Thursday Nights, tomorrow night, 9.30. All right, let's take a question for Lindsay.

1:28:47🔗 Matt, how are you guys doing?

1:28:49🔗 Adam Good, you're 22.

1:28:51🔗 Caller Yes, I am. I just had a question for Lindsay, how she got into acting and what not.

1:28:56🔗 Adam Her mom made her.

1:28:59🔗 Caller It's kind of funny.

1:29:00🔗 Adam She's Korean, that's how it works.

1:29:01🔗 Caller Well, see, that's the funny thing, because I'm in the same boat. My mom is, I'm half Korean. My mom's Korean. And my dad is white. And all through high school, when I was in high school, you know, I tried to do the school plays and whatnot. And my mom would always say, you know, you're not going to go anywhere with that and stuff like that.

1:29:22🔗 Drew Back to the piano, ice skating.

1:29:24🔗 Adam Pick up that cello. Rosin up that cello bow. Bow and get back with the abacus.

1:29:32🔗 Caller But I was just wondering how like, if like how her mom was about that.

1:29:35🔗 Guest My mom, she was, I was really young, to be honest with you. It was a big accident. She had me enrolled in, you know, all the classes because I was a very energetic child, I think. Ballet and ice skating and taekwondo and one of the classes.

1:29:51🔗 Drew It's because Lindsay had energy that she wasn't going to go home. That's why.

1:29:56🔗 Guest Yeah, that's the story. It's like a fable. So then.

1:29:58🔗 Drew And I had energy too.

1:29:59🔗 Adam Yeah, my parents were the same way. Hey, here's a ball of foil.

1:30:04🔗 Caller Go in the back yard.

1:30:06🔗 Guest Yeah, but one of those classes was like a charm school or something and it was at a department store and they, yeah, I was and that's why I'm so charming and they wanted to take my photo for the catalog and then it snowballed and I ended up doing commercials.

1:30:20🔗 Drew My mom. Sidebar.

1:30:22🔗 Guest Yeah.

1:30:23🔗 Drew She's having an arranged marriage. Mom, mom is out there working 24 7 on this. That's what she's doing.

1:30:28🔗 Adam As I talked to her mother earlier in the year.

1:30:30🔗 Drew Well, yeah.

1:30:31🔗 Adam She wouldn't know if I knew any Korean guys.

1:30:33🔗 Caller I said, hell no.

1:30:35🔗 Adam Anyway, go ahead. I'm sorry. What happened? Arranged marriage? Arranged marriage?

1:30:39🔗 Guest Yeah. My mom basically said, here's a goat and a chest of gold to bloom. Please take my daughter. No, she encouraged me. I'm really lucky. And I was very persistent. And so should you be.

1:30:53🔗 Adam So she was behind you. Yeah.

1:30:54🔗 Guest Yeah.

1:30:55🔗 Guest So you don't want to grow up. You're a Toys R Us kid. Those checks kept coming.

1:30:58🔗 Guest That's right. I was lucky. I was very lucky.

1:31:00🔗 Adam Hey, Matt.

1:31:02🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:31:03🔗 Adam Here's the deal. Almost nobody who does anything that's a little outside of the box had the support or the overwhelming support of their loving parents. Whether you're a composer, you know, musician, whatever, actor, painter, sculptor, so you just move ahead.

1:31:19🔗 Caller Yeah. That's why I joined the military.

1:31:22🔗 Caller So that's why I was in the acting. Really?

1:31:27🔗 Caller That's good.

1:31:27🔗 Adam All right. Well, when are you going to be out?

1:31:29🔗 Caller Actually, I'm out in two years. So that's what I'm going to pursue when I get out.

1:31:33🔗 Adam So that's what you're acting.

1:31:34🔗 Caller All right.

1:31:36🔗 Drew Good luck. Semper Fi.

1:31:38🔗 Caller And I would say your show is really good, too.

1:31:40🔗 Adam I watch it.

1:31:40🔗 Caller I watch it all the time. Partly because you're on it.

1:31:46🔗 Adam Hey, Matt. Hold your ears, Lindsay. Ever masturbate to Lindsay?

1:31:53🔗 Caller No. You know, it's kind of hard with a roommate.

1:31:56🔗 Caller Oh, yeah.

1:31:58🔗 Guest Oh, we had him. He called earlier. That's a yes.

1:31:59🔗 Adam Not if you get an agreement. I've worked that. I've worked that. That's a little beat off diplomacy that goes on. VCR in the shower.

1:32:09🔗 Guest See, to make this come full circle, I mean, if he did, then that would mean there was no video. I know that. No video. Me.

1:32:16🔗 Drew Oh, but the TV show.

1:32:17🔗 Guest Oh, maybe he's watching Coupling.

1:32:18🔗 Drew There's that.

1:32:18🔗 Adam He's watching Coupling. Yeah.

1:32:20🔗 Drew It's all takes.

1:32:21🔗 Adam The guy's going to work. He's worked that. That's all right. That's a compliment.

1:32:26🔗 Guest I like it.

1:32:27🔗 Caller Yeah. It's fine.

1:32:28🔗 Drew Don't go too far with that. Don't encourage him.

1:32:31🔗 Caller Hello?

1:32:32🔗 Adam You're 20?

1:32:34🔗 Caller Yeah, I'm 20.

1:32:36🔗 Adam You smoke pot for years and you got the man boobs now?

1:32:38🔗 Caller Well, I've been working out kind of recently and I think it's been sort of making it better, but I'm not sure if it's making it better, if it's making it worse, but like-

1:32:48🔗 Drew Are you taking steroids?

1:32:50🔗 Caller No, no, no, no.

1:32:51🔗 Drew It'll make it better. You lose weight, it'll make it better, but the overweight?

1:32:55🔗 Caller Not really. I'm kind of out of shape, but like recently I've been getting in pretty, like, all right shape.

1:33:00🔗 Drew You're still smoking pot?

1:33:02🔗 Caller Yeah, definitely.

1:33:03🔗 Drew Well, that's going to keep it going.

1:33:04🔗 Adam Yeah, it doesn't do anything.

1:33:06🔗 Drew It does.

1:33:07🔗 Adam Drew, your does is one half of one tenth of one percent.

1:33:11🔗 Drew Oh, no, no. Oh, yeah, it's not real common, but when it does, it does.

1:33:14🔗 Caller When it kicks, it kicks?

1:33:16🔗 Adam Yeah, but don't you have to have, you have to have a genetic predisposition for this?

1:33:19🔗 Drew Probably, but the point is the pot really gets it going. He would have been over it at 16 and it perpetuates it. That's sort of typically what happens.

1:33:25🔗 Adam How's your dad looking?

1:33:27🔗 Caller Well, I think when he was younger, he kind of had a, I think he was pretty good to be.

1:33:33🔗 Adam Do you know which one your dad is?

1:33:35🔗 Caller What?

1:33:36🔗 Adam We can tell the difference between your dad and your mom?

1:33:37🔗 Caller Yes.

1:33:39🔗 Adam Well, that's a start.

1:33:40🔗 Drew Based on cup size. That's what's going on.

1:33:46🔗 Adam Dad has a huge areola.

1:33:47🔗 Drew It's something that he would have been over at 16 if he had kept smoking the pot. It perpetuates this, what's called gynecomastia.

1:33:54🔗 Adam My dad has a big areola.

1:33:55🔗 Drew I don't want to hear it anymore.

1:33:57🔗 Adam It's weird.

1:33:58🔗 Drew Enough.

1:33:58🔗 Adam It's really weird. But it's kind of weird good, you know. We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back.

1:34:10🔗 Caller 1-800-LOVELINE-191 Loveline will be right back. Loveline on 947 NRK NRK is brought to you by Car Toys.

1:34:32🔗 Adam Well, that's it. Pulling his pants up, running in. Wanting to get in on the end of the show, well, just in time. I want to thank Lindsay and Jay for coming in here tonight. Coupling. Thank you, guys. Thursday Nights, NBC, 9.30. Go out and see it. Or stay in and see it, I should say. Always a delight. Lindsay, come back anytime. Jay will talk. And anytime you guys like, welcome. Welcome on the show. So, until next time, this is Adam Carolla for Dr. Drew saying mahalo.

1:35:10🔗 Caller This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors or this station. The producer for Loveline is Ann Ingold. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

1:36:04🔗 Adam Yeah, yeah, yeah.

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