1:13🔗
Voiceover
Hey, everybody. It's Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That's Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Dr. Drew, board-certified physician, addiction medicine specialist. Dr. Drew, back from his amazing cruise that he took, that went through Central America and South America, and ended up in Cuba and went to the Panama Canal.
1:36🔗
Drew
Oh, honey. Why did you want to talk about this last night? All of a sudden, you're into it.
1:40🔗
Adam
Well, Jay McGraw was in here last night. We're talking about his book and stuff. But I'm interested in all that stuff, the canal and all that kind of business. You know, there's a few things I like about the canal. One, I like to defy nature and God.
1:59🔗
Adam
And the man. But if anyone ever looks at a map, and you see that little sliver of Panama, and then you see the horn that must, that you must go around if you can't make it through that little sliver, it is amazing. And I'm sure for hundreds and hundreds of years, people have dreamt of dragging their boats across that short stretch of land. And I don't know, maybe they used to physically cart them across. I'm sure they did.
2:29🔗
Adam
But now it all works. Another thing I like about the Panama Canal is the French had at it for about a hundred years and eventually we kicked those frogs out of there and said, look, you want to get this done right? You get some Americans. Imagine a French trying to do some big dirty job like that.
2:51🔗
Drew
They tried to do a sea level, a sea level connector. Right. We made a lake and made these locks that lift you up to the lake.
3:12🔗
Adam
Drew told me on the ride home last night on the phone. Drew was riding horses through the rainforest. I don't know, the only thing I can think of is a porn movie.
3:20🔗
Adam
That's my only reference. Oh yes, Indiana Jones. Going to Cuba and seeing what a colossal dump that place is and how crazy Castro is and how communism is just completely falling apart.
3:34🔗
Adam
Listen everybody, if communism is a decent way of government, why are all communist countries dumps?
3:56🔗
Adam
So as soon as they kicked the mob out of there, that was it, the place went downhill. Say what you want about the mob, but they run a tight ship.
4:26🔗
Drew
Yeah. It's not crazy. It's not controlled in a covert way. It's controlled in an overt way. I see. You want to do business with us? Fine. Join the revolution. Bring your country. Bring your business. We'll take it. Fine.
5:35🔗
Drew
He spoke and he has a thought process that's disordered. He's what's called tangential. It's what manic depressives get. And there was a Cuban scholar with us and he said he's been up there, he's heard him speak, where he becomes so disorganized no two word connects. It's just a complete gobbledygook.
6:01🔗
Drew
Oh, yes. This is, you know, he took, he let us bring our kids in, he took some questions from the kids, and one of his kids goes, you know, you love baseball, we know that. What position do you play? 20 minutes later. 20 minutes. He's talking about boxing and swimming.
6:21🔗
Drew
Oh, we don't give our callers 20 minutes. We cut them off right away. And that's the problem with this guy.
6:30🔗
Drew
No, not of smart and charming and impressive, but crazy. And his delusion is shared by the population that remains on that island. They're all like sleepwalking.
6:48🔗
Adam
All right. Well, good times. Dr. Drew, meeting with Castro. And, you know, meeting with Castro is smart. It's sort of like, I imagine there was a time in the mid-70s when going to see Elvis in a Vegas show was probably, sure, probably tantamount to us going and seeing a Siegfried and Roy or something.
7:07🔗
Yeah.
7:10🔗
Oh, yeah.
7:10🔗
Adam
A little been done, been there, done that. But now, if you went and saw Elvis, you're cool or the Beatles, obviously. There's a handful of people. Drew, when Castro kicks the bucket in the next five years, you can then say, for the next six years of your life, or however long you're here, or your wife kills you, that you went and met with the man. That will make you cool.
7:42🔗
Drew
And their idea was that, I said, look, people are not going to believe you when you say this. You got to just remember this moment. I know it's boring, but remember it.
7:52🔗
Yes.
7:53🔗
Yes.
7:57🔗
Caller
I have been considering getting breast implants. Not unsatisfied with the size. It's just the firmness and whatever. So I went and had a consultation. And my problem is that I've done a lot of research on the internet. I've looked at the FDA website. I've looked at so many things. And I get so many conflicting answers as far as health problems that can come from this.
8:24🔗
Caller
No, no, no. Between what the FDA says and what the plastic surgeon at the consultation said.
8:33🔗
Caller
He said like a risk of capsular constriction, the blood clot or the scar tissue that forms is like 4 percent. Right. Rupture, he said that very few women, he had been doing this for 20 years and like very few women had come back needing them replaced. Whereas on the internet I had read, in the 15 years.
9:02🔗
Drew
Again, a lot of capsular scarring, a lot of movement, a lot of redo. Many women find redo is necessary.
9:08🔗
Adam
Anything different in the last 10 years beside the saline to silicone or silicone to saline?
9:16🔗
Adam
Is it procedure for installing them? Is that technique improved? I imagine it would have.
9:21🔗
Drew
Yeah, but there's a lot of different ways. They put it on the above the muscle, under the muscle, they go from the belly button or under the arm.
9:26🔗
Adam
Here's what I'm saying. If you installed a saline one 10 years ago, how much longer is the life expectancy of that now? How far have we come?
9:43🔗
Adam
But here's what I'm saying. I got to talk about cars for a second. Car engines have been the same as it's been for 75 years. But now, the transmission is sealed and you don't have to change the transmission fluid. It's the same transmission as just sealed. Is it the same boob job, but instead of having to redo it in 10 years, you can redo it in 30 years?
10:09🔗
Drew
Yeah, there are different qualities to the surface and the way it sticks and the way the decreased risk of capsular heat.
10:32🔗
Caller
No, from what I've read about the silicone is fairly dangerous. And as far as when they rupture, the silicone gel is not very easily absorbed by the body, whereas saline is a saltwater.
10:52🔗
Adam
Outside of a woman. Minka had silly string in her boobs. She had some bizarre in there. Yeah.
11:00🔗
Adam
Some strands of something. It wasn't solid. She had trouble beating off to her that night on the ride home. It was so difficult. I wish she hadn't told me that. Geez, I was halfway on a freeway before I made. Okay. Hey, Paige, so what do you want?
11:18🔗
Caller
I'm just really looking for some straight answers. I just don't understand why I'm getting different.
11:23🔗
Drew
Because there is no straight answer. Whenever you get conflicting answers like that, it's because no one knows for sure. Although, the prevailing wisdom is that a lot of the concern about this procedure and the silicone, everything was overstated. There still comes some concerns and it's a surgery procedure and there's certain risks.
11:41🔗
Adam
But get the saline in. Here's what you do. You find a reputable doctor and you use him and trust him and that's how he got his reputation.
11:52🔗
Yes.
11:55🔗
Caller
I just found out the week before Christmas that my mother put a baby up for adoption two years before I was born.
12:12🔗
Caller
It's not a problem. Well, I guess he's come looking for her and I confronted her and she said that it was true and yes, he's come looking for her, but she's not giving any information out.
13:02🔗
Drew
All right. What's the big deal? This is your mom's problem. Do you want to help her with it?
13:11🔗
Adam
Well, wait a second, wait a second, Cindy. Yes, sir. You said that he came looking for her.
13:32🔗
Caller
I think there's a lot of stuff I don't know still, but she had a real crummy childhood, I guess. I mean, I don't know. I always grew up thinking my grandparents were like the best, the best there could ever be. And now stories are coming out that, you know, my grandfather was a real piece of work towards her. Yeah. But I mean, he did not.
14:13🔗
Caller
Well, I think he she keeps making the excuse. Her excuse why they haven't met yet is because something with the adoption agency that she needs certain papers.
14:42🔗
Adam
Okay. That's fine. Listen. That's fine. But this whole thing about getting this adult man hooked up with your crazy marriage happy mom is just a bizarre distraction that keeps you away from the job of being a mother to your three kids.
15:31🔗
Adam
I don't want a distraction from your marriage and your three kids. Right. Okay. If this thing works out, this thing works out. That's all I'm saying. Everybody's a disappointment. Don't ever meet anybody. That's what I'm saying.
16:01🔗
Adam
How dare you? That chick said to me, Are you as big an asshole in real life as you are on TV?
16:13🔗
Adam
If I take a random sampling of the guys I went to high school with, I realize they're pretty regular guys doing sort of mundane boring things. If they're lucky, they're not strung out on something right now, then that's what I'm saying. Her brother is just going to be that.
16:31🔗
Adam
20 pounds overweight, got a job working at a supermarket as a assistant manager. She doesn't need that. All right. Stop writing, Drew. I can always hear it. Always hear it. Sheila?
16:53🔗
Caller
Okay. I caught the tell end of the program last night, and Dr. Drew mentioned that he would write for the morning after pill for any people who would call his office.
17:07🔗
Drew
In fact, I called California Medical Association three times today and emailed them. I am hell bent on this.
17:13🔗
Drew
Now, all I know is that the law in California has changed, so that within this state, the pharmacist only needs some sort of, is it in Utah yet?
17:29🔗
Drew
In California and Oregon, a few other states now, you can do it just with an agreement with the pharmacist. So, I want to have an agreement with lots of pharmacies that people can get that.
17:37🔗
Caller
Okay. Basically, if you'll allow me to use your name, because I'm at work right now and I work the graveyard shift, I get a lot of people coming in and asking me for that. If you'll allow me to use your name as the prescribing MD, I'm more than happy to do it.
18:01🔗
Caller
You know, the location where I work, our system is universal. I've got your name on our system.
18:29🔗
Caller
You know, I document the prescription as it's filled and I would be glad to fax over whatever documentation you would like.
18:35🔗
Drew
The only thing I want to be sure of is that people don't start using this as a contraceptive. You know what I mean?
18:44🔗
Adam
All right. Well, wait a second. Now, let me ask this. I'll put Sheila on hold for a second.
18:49🔗
Drew
Sheila, thank you for calling. We need like a national network. I want to set something up here.
18:54🔗
Adam
We're talking about the morning after pill. We've been talking for a long time about getting this into young people's hands or people who need it. And we've also been talking about the crazy hypocrisy of this California state law that you needed a prescription to get this thing when it was nonsense, when it was safe and effective. So, Drew, something has passed in the last few weeks or few days that says you can now get it without a prescription.
19:32🔗
Drew
I think you need some sort of form. In California, it's filled out by the physician. But Sheila is saying she doesn't need that.
19:53🔗
Adam
Yeah. They're really interested in helping over there, aren't they? Let me say this. You put a form in at a pharmacist.
20:02🔗
Drew
Probably in that form is sort of an agreement to heal the facts back what they've done or something, to give you some history of what they're doing.
20:11🔗
Drew
To me, it takes the liability off the pharmacist, probably. I don't know. Ask Sheila. Maybe she knows what the argument's about.
20:24🔗
Drew
But in California, it's not, though, that they're still requiring some sort of paperwork connection between the pharmacist and the doctor.
20:44🔗
Adam
I don't understand. If something is not prescription, then doesn't it become role aids at a certain point? And then how does that work? Can't I just walk in and buy some aspirin?
20:58🔗
Adam
Let me do a little recreation. Maybe this is just a little. You missed it. You missed it because Drew was turning his arm like he was turning the crank of an old movie theater while he was, old movie camera while he was talking. Well, Drew, what'd he say? You want to take another?
21:23🔗
Hi.
21:24🔗
Yes. I love you guys. And I have a question here for Dr. Drew. I just recently have been diagnosed with two large corpus luteum cysts that encapsulated my left ovary. And I was just wondering what you think can cause that?
21:41🔗
Being female, huh?
21:47🔗
Nothing. How would they?
21:48🔗
Drew
The problem, they, pretty much everyone gets these. The problem is at your age, they need to make sure that's what they are. And sometimes they would take them out if there's any question about what's inside them. If they're not homogenous.
22:25🔗
Adam
No? I gotta say it real fast. You know, it's one of these things. These stories, I know, they're never impressive when you're not there because when other people have things that happen that are sort of serendipitous or something or coincidental, it's like big deal. But just be there with me for a second. I'm driving in about two weeks ago. I'm in Las Vegas. I'm driving in with Jimmy and another guy to record some phone calls for our prank phone call show. Pat Cooper, the old time Italian comedian who's on Stern all the time, who yells all the time. They always interview him whenever they do any of these rat pack retrospectives or anything. And he talks about playing the Copa with Frank. He's one of these guys, real blowhard, sweet old guy, but old time comedian and super Italian. His real name is Pasquale Pastrami or something. It's a crazy Italian name. But anyway, Pat Cooper. I'm driving in and I'm complaining as I normally do to Jimmy and this writer friend of ours who are in the van on the way to the recording studio. This Adam Corolla is a curse, this name Adam. Everyone thinks I'm a Jew. If my name was Tony Corolla, everyone would know I was Italian. And people say to me all the time, and I believe because of the name Adam, what kind of name is Corolla? And Jimmy has a theory that there's some confusion because of the car name too, but there's difficulty. What kind of name is that Corolla? I don't know what nationality that is, everyone says. That's Corolla. It's a very Italian sounding name if you really think about it. It's the Adam that screws it. Yes. Because how many Italian Adams are there? Right. Only my parents would be stupid enough to name their kid Adam when he's Italian. Now, between the nappy hair and the comedy life, everyone thinks I'm Jewish when I'm Italian. So what's wrong with that? Nothing. But I'd rather be Italian. I'd rather be what I am. That's the point.
24:17🔗
Adam
And let's face it, Italian is a little more cool than Jew. I mean, that's obvious. So Italians pull down more tail than Jews. So I said, I said, if they'd name me Tony, everything would be fine. Tony Corolla. He's Italian. So I'm sitting next to Pat Cooper. He's making these crazy phone calls. I'm sitting next to him in this recording studio, writing jokes on a Marks a Lot board feverishly and handing it to him. We get along pretty well, even though he's an abrasive guy and about halfway into it, he turns to me and he looks at me and he goes, you, you're not Adam, you're not Em, that's not Em, you're a Tony, you're a Tony, I'm going to call you Tony. I thought this is the most bizarre thing in the world. I just had a long-winded discussion about how I should be called Tony on the drive over. I'm like, and I had not had the I should be called Tony discussion in years with anybody, and nobody has ever pointed at me and said, you need to be called Tony, and he didn't pay much never mind to the story I told him, he just kept going. He's in for the rest of the day, call me Tony. Now, how does that work? How does that work?
25:28🔗
Adam
I decide to name myself another name and a guy I never met before decides to call me that name too within an hour of me labeling myself that.
25:43🔗
Adam
It's great though about Jimmy's freaking out and the writer who is with us freaking out and Pat Cooper is like, yeah, yeah, so what?
25:51🔗
Adam
Pat was great too and then we're going to break. The one great thing about Pat is, I'll give you the Pat Cooper impersonation. Do you got a phone ring? Now, we would call people and say, Pat, we're calling an Italian restaurant in Brooklyn, Europe as well, like a pool, all right? Here we go. They're not there. They're not there. Hang up. Let's go. Let's do another one. They're not there. And right when I'd be saying, Pat, the phone only rang, the person would pick up. But he would do it every single call. One ring, be sitting there, looking around, twiddling his thumbs. Not there. Hang up. Let's go. Let's do another. He would announce they're not there. At the second ring on every call, and every time he made the announcement, they would pick up. And then the one time he didn't make the announcement after five in a row, of course, they didn't pick up. We'll be right back. We'll be back with more Dr. Drew and Tony Corolla after this.
27:28🔗
Adam
Hey, everybody, Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That's Dr. Drew. Dr. Drew brought his video camera in and is showing me pictures of the Panama Canal.
27:38🔗
Adam
Yeah, it's a very, very interesting engineering project at Panama Canal. Always been interested in it. And yeah, that was a video reference that Anderson did there from the audio file. Also, I don't know how many people died building that thing, probably a couple of thousand.
27:58🔗
Drew
Oh no, tens of thousands. Yeah, really? Yeah, over the entire span of the temps. Oh, sure.
28:03🔗
Adam
That was back in the good old days when if we took on a decent sized construction project, we could figure that a couple hundred folks would die.
28:13🔗
Adam
Well, it'd be like there'd be X amount of white dudes who died and then a huge amount of sort of indigenous native types.
28:21🔗
Drew
Well, that's precisely what happened with this thing is they hired all these Caribbean guys from around the surrounding islands.
28:28🔗
Adam
And they didn't even have any. You know, it's not like Caterpillar was in business back then. It was just a bunch of steam shovels and mules and guys just rocking out, just taking out buckets of rocks by hand and just dying there.
28:43🔗
Adam
Listen, everybody, you think your job sucks. It may suck, but at least you're not dying on it.
28:49🔗
Adam
Right. And then they'd go to some shanty camp and waste it all at the community store where they were gouged. Some whore would come in and overcharge her for BJ. What a life. Listen, all you broads are constantly complaining about your lives. Think of all the millions and millions of guys that have died just on the job. How many women have died on the job? Like three? You know what I'm saying? I want to know. I want to see a number for that. All you broads complaining about your tough life all the time. Millions of guys died just working. Summer?
29:22🔗
Yeah.
29:31🔗
All right.
29:32🔗
Adam
Sorry. Go ahead, Summer. You're 15. I want to watch Drew's video camera while I was answering calls.
29:59🔗
Caller
I mean, I would like, OK, like on VH1 a couple months ago when they were doing the 100 Greatest Albums of Rock and Roll, did you see Britney Spears' list?
30:13🔗
Caller
She had NSYNC, Mariah Carey, Backstreet Boys. I don't even remember what the number one album was, but it was like NSYNC or something and I was just like, suck up.
30:23🔗
Adam
Yes, I agree. What's up with you? Well, you're 15. This is good. This kind of thing you should be thinking about.
30:45🔗
Adam
Your parents were hippies. Listen, you're going to be pregnant in six months with your love of Stevie Ray Vaughn.
30:50🔗
Caller
No way. I stay completely away from boys. I have my life focused on making music and doing good.
30:59🔗
Adam
All right, baby. That's great. Thanks for calling. Let me ask you guys this. I was trying to get an answer to this question at the office today. You know how there are bands that cool people say they like?
31:13🔗
Adam
You know when we have a cool band in here and we ask them what bands they like, they'll never give you a band that you've ever heard of?
31:19🔗
Adam
Because it makes you cool. Then there are bands that you need to like that make you cool. When someone asks you who you're listening to or who you're influenced by, you tell them and they can't question you on it because they don't listen to this person. They've just heard of this person and they can't never question you on it. I've decided in the 1970s, we decided in the office it was Lou Reed. Lou Reed was the guy to say you were into, that made you cool, that no one could ever question you on. In the 1990s, Radiohead was the band to say you were into, that made you cool, that no one really questioned you too much on. Radiohead has gotten more popular in the last couple of years, but go back about three or four years, tell people you're into Radiohead and they just thought you were cool and they couldn't question you on it. Who was it in the 1980s? Was it REM.? Early, think about it, REM got sort of famous toward the later part of the 80s. You know, early mid 80s. Let's say REM would have done that. Erasure. You idiot.
32:27🔗
Adam
I don't know. I don't know. Too many people. You see, people, they have to be like Lou Reed, where people have heard of Lou Reed in the Velvet Underground, whatever. They just can't name any albums and have never seen them.
32:40🔗
Drew
In the 80s, it was super alternative, would have been like Bow Wow Wow or Nina Hagen or something.
32:48🔗
Adam
I think. All right. All right. I'm looking at a video of Fidel Castro right now and talking to Wayne, who's 15. Wayne?
32:57🔗
Caller
Hi. Yeah. I got like this girl a couple of days ago. She, I don't know if she was hitting me or nothing, but I think she was. But I in the past have had problems with girls and like things I say, and I'm just trying to have to screw this one up.
33:15🔗
Caller
I think she does, but I'm not sure. Cause she asked me a lot of personal questions. And I'm kind of just wondering what I should say not to screw it up.
33:40🔗
Drew
Why don't you keep making sure you're on the bus at the same time, and just keep a conversation going. Just start asking her some personal questions.
34:02🔗
Adam
Yeah. But let me explain something. Drew, you remember these days when you had to do a little angling to catch a fish. You knew when she was coming in, you could spot her coming the other way down the sidewalk. You make a little small talk with somebody and start to enter the bus as she's walking on to the bus. Absolutely.
34:27🔗
Adam
Right. Or you do that thing where you get on the bus early, sit there and put your backpack on the seat next to it. Fumble with it, but keep an eye up. When she looks up, then you slide the backpack off.
34:40🔗
Drew
Here's my movement. You shoo away 12 people, then she walks up and walks right past. Then you don't say anything.
34:45🔗
Adam
Well, that's bound to happen too. But at least you tried, and that's what Wayne needs to do. Joe? Joe?
35:15🔗
Well, I mean, she says, Oh, why should other people make money off my recycling crap?
35:21🔗
Drew
So she objects the fact that anyone should run a business in helping the environment. Yeah.
35:53🔗
Yeah.
35:54🔗
OK.
35:59🔗
Yeah.
35:59🔗
Let's heal some babies!
36:00🔗
Adam
Yeah, you got to have bigger fish to fry than the recycling, don't you? Just recycle. Just recycle? Yeah, that's fine. OK, buddy?
36:17🔗
Adam
It sounds like Florida, but I'm thinking of Saratoga. That sounds like Sarasota. Where's Saratoga, Joe? Oh, man. The one piece of information we wanted to get out of them. It's in Florida? Anderson says Florida. Now I know. Now I know it's not in Florida. There's definitely a Saratoga Florida. All right. But here's the problem. There's maybe 15 Saratogas, and there's 25 Salems. And we got to just put an end to this. Drew and I almost got in a fistfight over Minnesota at Rochester.
36:50🔗
Adam
We're on a plane. I was yelling Rochester's that way. He was saying Rochester's this way. Turns out I was talking about Rochester, New York, and he was talking about Rochester. Was it Rochester? Rod?
37:01🔗
Adam
Rochester. He was talking about Rochester, Minnesota. And we really, we almost, I almost pushed his head to the emergency door.
37:11🔗
Adam
Pulled up maps. I was drunk. I started flailing on him. And we're talking about, I mean, we were both right, my point. How many do we need? Do you know what I mean? Yeah. Certainly, we couldn't be the first person who's confused by this. Teresa?
37:42🔗
Adam
All right. One of the kids wets themselves or what happens? Just leave it, Drew. Go ahead, Teresa.
37:49🔗
Okay. Well, I think the phone screener might have answered my question. I wanted to know if it's possible for a woman to squirt cum and he says, only out of my mouth.
38:11🔗
Drew
Some women do and some women do all the time, some women do sometime, and some women never do and it's perfectly normal. Strangely, women have a lot of embarrassment about this and don't talk about it, but it's very common. Here's the comedy.
38:25🔗
Because it happened with my boyfriend and he thought I peed on him.
38:32🔗
But it didn't smell like there.
38:34🔗
Drew
No, there is orgasmic incontinence, but more often than not, it's just a glandular debris and sort of the same kind of fluid that a man would emit from different glands around the area.
38:45🔗
It can squirt up, right?
38:50🔗
Look at his face, it's three inches away. I mean, it squirted him in the eye and he freaked.
38:57🔗
Well, I wasn't watching. I wouldn't, my head wasn't at that end.
39:08🔗
Adam
So, according to the videotape, Drew's wife and daughter had an ass full of Fidel and decided to hit the road, probably do some shopping.
39:24🔗
Adam
Yeah, they got bored of hearing Fidel talk about his crazy stories, about his, he gets real plans for the revolution.
39:36🔗
Adam
Well, you think an eight-year-old wants to hear Fidel Castro? Of course. It's just passed out.
39:46🔗
Adam
Drew's painting around, I want you to picture this. Drew has a video camera on Fidel Castro in one of these, you know, these generic halls that they have, these international meetings.
40:03🔗
Adam
Yeah, Communists have. You see them on like CNN and C-SPAN and stuff. And they also kind of look like those NATO rooms. It's like a bunch of, it's sort of a half circle. Guy stands in front, holds five, 600 people, and everyone sits there with a weird sort of desk chair thing and a half circle around. A microphone and a little ear plug, a little earpiece that translates everything. Castro's on stage talking about Communism and how they're just moments away from taking over the world with this. Meanwhile, Drew pans around with the camera and every kid in the place is sawing logs. And not, you know, when you get older, you learn to fall asleep tactfully, where you still kind of look like you're paying attention. But not this. Kids curled up in a fetal position on the desk.
40:53🔗
Adam
Stroomed about. It was really like there was some sort of horrible train rack and bodies were just thrown everywhere.
41:00🔗
Drew
Somebody said he was talking to us as though we weren't there. So we started behaving like he couldn't see us.
41:07🔗
Adam
All right. We're going to take ourselves a little break. I'm being amused by Drew's videotape of his vacation to South America and we'll be back after this.
41:56🔗
Adam
Hey, y'all, Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Drew, phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. All right. We'll get back to the phones. Drew, didn't we just take a female orgasmic incontinence call?
42:15🔗
Hi.
42:17🔗
I've been listening to you guys for about a month, and I've learned an awful lot. I'm 28 years old. I've been in some relationships, but sex has never really been my thing. I've always been real scared of sex. I've met this amazing man. He's real experienced sexually. We're doing amazing things together. Dr. Drew was talking about something called a pushing orgasm or something like that. A pushing orgasm? I've never had an orgasm with another person before. I'd only had one with myself. It's really hard for me to have one with a man, obviously, until now. Now, last night, he was using his hand and he was doing all this stuff. He was talking to me and it's been going on for a short time. I had an orgasm but when I was driving home, my pants were wet. Now, it wasn't just like wet. It seemed like they were really wet. I sort of blew it off. He didn't say anything to me. I figured if I would have peed on his hand, he would have told me. So, tonight, we're doing the same kind of thing. He's doing the hand thing and oral sex and I'm pushing.
43:36🔗
I'm contracting and I'm pushing. The same kind of wetness happened and my sheet was all wet. He didn't say anything and when we were done, I asked him, I said, honey, I'm really embarrassed to say this. I'm really humiliated, but I think I peed on your hand. He goes, it's not pee, honey. I go, no, I think it's pee. He smelled the sheets on the bed and everything. He's like, it's not pee. It's pee, Adam.
44:09🔗
But I've never had orgasms before until now.
44:13🔗
Well, now you're having them.
44:14🔗
And it's working.
44:16🔗
You said this pushing thing.
44:23🔗
But I think pee, a little not, I'm not going to the bathroom, but I think there's like something coming, a little pee coming out of me.
44:33🔗
He's actually, he's a brick, he's in masonry, he's a bricklayer, but he was in the army for 10 years. He just recently got out of the army.
44:41🔗
Adam
I smelled construction on this dude. You know why? Because construction dude don't mind getting his hands dirty. This guy's working with lime and mortar all day long. He don't mind a little push-gush on him when he's down there at work.
45:01🔗
He treats me like no man's ever treated me physically.
45:11🔗
God, no.
45:13🔗
Well, I've had several back surgeries. I thought my orgasm problem was nerve damage, but it's not because I'm having them now.
45:24🔗
I what? No.
45:25🔗
I did. I have.
45:27🔗
I'm not right now.
45:30🔗
No.
45:31🔗
I'm taking them when I have a flare-up.
45:35🔗
They're only as prescribed.
45:38🔗
No.
45:41🔗
Why are you asking me that?
45:44🔗
Because what?
45:52🔗
You know why? Because I'm nervous. I'm so nervous and because I've never had an orgasm before.
46:01🔗
I had a problem when I was 10 years old.
46:06🔗
My butler.
46:12🔗
Butler.
46:17🔗
Yeah. His name was Derek.
46:22🔗
Derek.
46:23🔗
Adam
Okay. Hold on, baby. You live in Canoga Park. They outlawed butlers in Canoga Park like 30 years ago.
46:29🔗
I live in Canoga Park. I have detached from my family.
46:34🔗
My family is very big in the movie business.
46:40🔗
No. My dad's chairman of a major studio.
46:44🔗
Obviously, I'm saying too much. I'm on the radio.
46:47🔗
I peed on your hand.
47:00🔗
Adam
And the butler giving her the goose, and a butler named Derek. I mean, don't you have to change your name to Holmes or something?
47:19🔗
Looking to hook up. Sick of wasting time with the wrong person.
47:23🔗
Call the Dateline. The Dateline. 877-889-DATE.
48:12🔗
Adam
Hello, everybody. It's Loveline. I'm Adam. That is Dr. Drew. And we got a nice long run of Loveline here. We got ourselves a nice block of like 20-something minutes to go here. So uninterrupted. So, Catherine.
48:27🔗
Adam, can I ask you one thing?
48:29🔗
Or tell you one thing? And I'm really sorry about this. I don't know why I did it, but I have an instinct. I do have an opiate problem. I'm addicted to loratab.
48:41🔗
But I've also had many back surgeries.
48:43🔗
Drew
All right. But listen. Okay. Back surgeries, notwithstanding, you need to get off the loratab. You're an opiate addict. And the back pain will not... I can't tell you how many people I treat.
48:56🔗
But the pain is horrible.
48:57🔗
Drew
Catherine, probably one a day that people come in with the overwhelming back pain, and magically the pain gets a hell of a lot better when we get them off the opiates. You've got to get off the opiates. You're an opiate addict. It needs to be done.
49:08🔗
I have done that. I went to Exodus. I went to Betty Ford. I went to the Daniel Freeman Pain Clinic. I lived there for six weeks.
49:17🔗
Drew
Well, not that. But how did you do when you were at... Where did you say you were? Tarzana? Exodus. Exodus. How did you do at Exodus?
49:23🔗
I did really well. But then once I go back to work and...
49:26🔗
Drew
Well, there you go. But the pain is magically better when you go back to work. And if you're not working... First of all, you shouldn't go back to work for at least six months. You should be in a sober living. You should be working on your recovery and then consider going back to work.
49:38🔗
I just got out of a sober living. I was at this place... I don't want to say the name, but I just got out of there. I was there for eight months.
49:46🔗
Yeah, but my doctor had me on six... I'm allotted six more to have a day.
49:54🔗
Adam
Hey, listen. And what about doing some work on the guy who molested you, the butler who molested you? I mean, some therapy.
50:03🔗
I mean, what can I do about it? It happened, you know?
50:09🔗
Well, I mean, I have counselors, chemical dependency counselors.
50:14🔗
No.
50:17🔗
I'm definitely just an opiate addict.
50:19🔗
Adam
How about, I mean, just how about something for being molested when you're a ten? You know, forget about the opiates.
50:26🔗
Dr. Drew, have you ever heard of the school called Cascade?
50:30🔗
Drew
No, I'm not. But listen, I've got a good referral for you. You stay on the line. I've got somebody I think would work for you, OK?
50:43🔗
Drew
But that's why she can't orgasm. She doesn't have opiates. You can't orgasm well when you're on opiates or normally.
50:48🔗
I think I peed on your hand.
50:52🔗
Adam
I heard ten words out of her and I said, opiates or just strung out. I meant strung out. I didn't get booze or weed. I got drugs like heroin is what I was getting. Is opiate a whole lot different than the heroin?
51:15🔗
Adam
No, I don't know. Listen, I'm tired of being right, Drew. I'm right so much it hurts. Okay? All right. Hey, Allison?
51:32🔗
Well, yeah, you both do.
51:34🔗
Adam
All right. Well, it's just it's relevant. When did your dad rape you? Yeah, that's my usual call.
51:39🔗
Oh, yeah.
51:44🔗
Okay. Well, then how come like when parents get divorced or whatever, how come like a nine times out of ten, they always live with their mom? Like if a dad is so important and like that aspect, why do they always go with their mom?
51:58🔗
Drew
Because mom is more important. What we ask is what's your relationship like with your dad? What's happened with him? Where's he gone? Dad, they could live with the mom but see the dad three days out of the week.
52:10🔗
Adam
You don't have to live with him. It'd be nice, but in this day and age, I think it's asking a lot. You have to live with your parents. But as long as you're on good terms with dad, you're okay, especially as a girl. If you're on bad terms with dad as a girl, there's trouble.
52:30🔗
Oh, my dad is like my best friend. My parents actually were divorced and we ended up living with my dad. Good.
52:36🔗
Drew
But that usually means that when that happens, I mean, mom is usually very troubled when that's the case.
52:41🔗
Yeah, she had some trouble.
52:43🔗
Drew
And so that's, we know then also that that's a sign that the mom has really got problems.
52:48🔗
Adam
Okay. Well, you got it good with your dad, but now your problem is you don't got it good with your mom.
52:52🔗
Oh, now it's great with my mom. Okay.
52:58🔗
Drew
This stuff can all be healed. Maybe that's the misconception we'll have, some of them will be condemned to a life eternity of trouble. But everybody's got to be willing to work on this and work hard.
53:09🔗
Adam
Well, here's the reality is, it's like I was watching this 60 minutes the other night, and they were talking about dieters, and 95 percent of people put the weight back on. People, they drop 100 pounds, they drop 250 pounds, but 95 percent of people who lose weight put the weight back on. So it's 95 to 5 that you're going to put the weight back on. Does that mean you shouldn't do it? No. And does it mean that you're not going to be that 5 percent? No. It just means it's going to be some work. I mean, it's the same. Here's what we're saying, Drew. So many people get screwed early in life, and then they just walk through life with a limp.
53:59🔗
Adam
Dragging their lower half. And they don't fix themselves, and they could fix themselves. And we wish they would, and we tell them to, but most people don't. Is it, can it be done? Of course it can be done. And it's not that, you know, it's a process, but it's not that big a deal. But most people won't engage in that, and therefore they don't. And so I don't hold out a lot of hope for people sometimes, Sam, even though I know it's easily, I'm not easily done, but it's a process that can be accomplished.
54:33🔗
Drew
I turned in my, I finished my first, hang on a second, Sam, I finished my first draft of my book.
54:38🔗
Drew
And it's about how sick people are these days and what they need to do to get better and what the process is like a little bit.
54:54🔗
Caller
Hey, I love you guys. I listen to you guys a lot of time. First time caller. Adam, you're cool. Drew, I got a couple of questions here.
55:01🔗
Caller
A friend of mine, his name is Steve. He smokes a lot of pot, well, he doesn't smoke a lot, but he smokes pot and he starts twitching. He's also an insomniac. What could be the cause of that? Could it be serious? Could I tell him to get some help?
55:18🔗
Caller
Like he'll just sit there and suddenly his arms will flail about, you know, or his leg will kick out or something. Or he'll just move his head, caulk his head, and wave his arms in the air real quick for no reason.
55:34🔗
Adam
You've got to watch him because this is one of these jokers who will knock over the bong and you're screwed. You know, these bongs are eight feet high and they're three quarters of an inch thick and they fall over.
55:55🔗
Caller
No, he's not on any kind of medication. They're not taking any of the drugs. Just smokes out. Doesn't even drink really. I've never seen him drink even once.
56:04🔗
Drew
It may not mean anything. It sounds like something called Belismas, which is where the part of the brain called the basal ganglia doesn't work quite right. Interestingly, pot can lower seizure threshold. These could be basically seizure type phenomenon, a sort of surfacing. It probably doesn't mean a hell of a lot, but if you're being proper about this, you'd certainly have it evaluated.
56:29🔗
Adam
Maybe the guy's got something going on with his brain electrodes and he needs to get checked out.
56:35🔗
Drew
More importantly, I'd be worried that he might have someday a seizure, primary seizure disorder. In fact, particularly if he's doing a lot of drugs, it might eventually surface and he could be driving a car or something. So that's my concern.
56:51🔗
Caller
This guy I've been seeing for like six months, he won't commit to me and I don't know why.
57:02🔗
Caller
Well, he keeps saying that he wants to be with me and everything, he loves me, blah, blah, blah, which pretty much, I don't know if I believe half the time, but he just doesn't want to take that extra step and put a title on us.
57:35🔗
Caller
He just graduated from college, and he's going back to school for some computer thing.
57:47🔗
Adam
Oh, well, that's not college. Please, everyone, stop calling it college. It's confusing. Do you understand? I mean, do you understand why it's confusing? Because you go, well, he graduated college, and he's heading back now to get his master's.
58:01🔗
Drew
Yeah, you're trying to do the math. He's 23. Why is he going back? Master's? Is that right? No.
58:06🔗
Adam
No. All I'm saying is, you're picturing a guy who's wearing a cardigan sweater and a bow tie carrying a laptop and a stack of books under his arm with a handful of brille cream in his hair. And then all of a sudden you hear Junior College and the books go down to the ground and the guy picks up a hash pipe and his pants come down, his underpants hang out of the back of his pants and his hair gets all disheveled in a hacky sack and it has a goatee and a nipple piercing. You know what I'm saying? It turns into a different dude now. And it's confusing. Now we're getting a picture of this guy. Well, here's the thing. I don't understand if you guys are seeing each other. You're having sex, right?
59:23🔗
Drew
He's more than an idiot. The reason you want to have a girlfriend is he needs another 13 year old.
59:38🔗
Caller
Well, I mean, I've got, you're probably going to say something, but I've got a two year old daughter. So it's not his, but he's really good with her.
1:00:05🔗
Adam
No, I think it was Carmo. Taffy came out of my ass. 15, knocking somebody out. Wow, he's really good with the two year old.
1:00:15🔗
Yeah.
1:00:19🔗
Adam
What do you mean? I mean, he doesn't eat the two year old. What's he doing? He doesn't want to be your girl. He won't even commit to being your girlfriend. I mean, boyfriend. All right. I don't know. Where are you living at home?
1:00:31🔗
Adam
Do you need a guy right now? I mean, can you focus on you and your two year old and making a life?
1:00:38🔗
Adam
Because this guy, the two year old is going to get attached to this joker who doesn't want a commitment.
1:00:49🔗
Adam
Right. Okay. Listen, Nicole. You tell this guy you're going to need a label on this relationship.
1:01:00🔗
Adam
Okay and then you move on. Yep. He's an idiot. He's going to junior college. He's living at home and he's 23 and he's dating a 17 year old that by the way is known for five years so it makes it extra weird. Just do it and don't get pregnant again would you?
1:01:32🔗
Okay.
1:01:37🔗
Okay.
1:01:40🔗
Drew
Speaking of contraception, you know they finally now have transdermal contraceptive patches. One a week.
1:01:49🔗
Yep.
1:02:02🔗
Adam
Well you can get different ones. You can get the Canadian flag. I've seen all different ones. I've seen the Rams helmet on them.
1:02:10🔗
Drew
You know there's something that people are into these tattoos. Just make the contraceptive patch like a cool tattoo.
1:02:15🔗
Adam
You see that contraceptive patch? You know that chick's open for business by the way. Where do you put it? On your forehead?
1:02:29🔗
Adam
There's no agent in it at all. Just actually blocks the penis from getting into the vagina.
1:02:44🔗
Caller
Well I just had an idea for Adam and this is my idea. I think we should stamp out Reckless Procreation.
1:02:58🔗
Caller
I used to work at Child Protective Services for about 11 years. I was a receptionist there so I thought everything at my window. I just thought maybe we could get together a sterilization SWAT team.
1:03:14🔗
Caller
I know, but what I'm thinking is there might be a nice Victorian house in the neighborhood somewhere we could save that might have glass doorknobs and some really nice details. That way we won't take out the whole neighborhood.
1:03:38🔗
Caller
You know, you could use a neutron bomb, that might work, but then you might get innocent people.
1:03:42🔗
Adam
Well, listen, I am, I believe, and I know you must know from working at the Child Protective Services, I mean, it must have just broken your heart to see the-
1:03:58🔗
Adam
But what about, what about this? And obviously, that's sad enough, but what kills you is these sort of junky hillbillies who come in there and they got five kids.
1:04:18🔗
Adam
Yeah. I've, you know, I've said this many, many, many times, but as you know, this show's just pretty much, pretty much turned into me repeating things I've said many, many, many times, including the statement, I've said this many, many, many times. Coincidentally, I've just said three times now, Drew, to say it again.
1:04:52🔗
Adam
Thank you. I mean, I've seen Drew's three kids, and I know we don't have to worry about them. They just don't. And people love to break this down behind economic lines and color lines. Untrue. I don't care what color you are, and I don't care how much money you make. If you can provide a loving environment for your kids and take care, and the money factor's in, you got to put food on the plate and dress the kids and have them taken care of medically and all that stuff. If you can take care of your kids and love your kids, you can have your kids, and then we will live in a utopia without frivolous lawsuits, without having to set the car alarm, without low jack, without those steel screens, without the liquor stores with the 3-inch thick plexiglass that will sustain a shotgun blast. Think about the life, everybody. Think about going through the airport without going through the metal detector. Think about leaving the keys on the seat of the car as you leave it on the street at night. Think of the utopia that we would live in if screwballs stopped having kids and screwing them up and turning them into drug addicts, criminals, and bilkers of the system. Because everybody, like I said, picture that family, you know, that loving family, and then picture their kids. We got to worry about them? Oh yeah, once in a while you get a bad scene, you get a little white collar crime going. So some guy embezzles some money from the bank he worked with. BFD. You get rid of all the gangs, all the drive-bys, all the random, all the random street crime, you close up the prisons, you shut up the court systems because you don't have these freaks that are on their fifteenth lawsuit in the last fourteen months. You have good decent people with a nice moral foundation. I'm telling you it is one percent of this country that's effing it for all of us. And we won't do a thing. The government won't stand up. Now you can be as poor as you want, as dumb as you want, as strung out as you want, and have as many kids as you want.
1:07:25🔗
Adam
Oh yeah? I can do another five minutes on it. What else do you want to do to fix this country? What else? You want to talk about NAFTA? Do you want to talk about building more prisons? Do you want to talk about pollution controls? Do you want to just keep talking about every individual topic? Or do we want to talk about the one topic that's going to impact all of these topics favorably? The one that will get rid of all of it? Oh, start talking about crimes. Start talking about cops. Start talking about prisons. Start talking about beefing up the borders. Start talking about drugs and how we're going to do away with the guys that are growing at Poppy and South America and all that stuff. No, start talking about F'd up people having F'd up kids and we'll do away with all of it. It's the most obvious equation in the world. Can we take a little break? We'll be right back.
1:08:57🔗
Adam
Hey, everybody, Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. Little system of a down for you. They're going to be in here on Thursday. And we're always glad to see those guys.
1:09:11🔗
Adam
Yeah. Yeah, so I think we're going to go out for some Armenian food with those guys on Thursday night. Love that. Love that stuff.
1:09:37🔗
Adam
Let me explain Armenian food to a lot of people. They kill like five animals, they roast it and they just put a ton of onions on it, and then you sit there and eat it with pita bread. While the waiter tries to sell you on some yogurt based soft drink. Dog, it is kachush. It's delicious. You have it with your shawarma. You have it with your shawarma. What's the kachush? It's great. It's refreshing. Always watch out for refreshing. My grandfather used to call buttermilk refreshing. Nothing. My grandfather said nothing quenches the thirst. Yeah, quenches the thirst means you have a sip, you spit it out, you don't want anymore. You're not wanting anymore. It doesn't mean your thirst has been quenched. You just had enough of that crap. What is it? It is goat milk, yogurt, raw yogurt, plain yogurt, lemon and vinegar and paprika. You guys don't got Pepsi? No, it is Cushion. It's yogurt based. I got news for all the countries in the world that are trying to do their own soft drinks. Just drink the goddamn Coke and the Pepsi. Your yogurt based stuff ain't cutting it. Mexico, they got this rice stuff.
1:11:02🔗
Adam
Well, at least the Mexicans are smart that they dump tons and tons of sugar and then cinnamon in it and then you can't really tell. But here's the deal. If you took a ton of sugar and a ton of cinnamon and just put it in regular milk, it would be better than a rice milk crap. Okay, so we'll go out for going for some Armenian food.
1:11:31🔗
Caller
Well, like last year in April, I started fooling around with this guy who lives across the street from me. And like every time I tried to like, you know, like leave, like get him to leave me alone, like he'd come back and he'd be like, oh, I want you, you know.
1:11:52🔗
Caller
Yeah. And like, and like I have a boyfriend and like, I don't know, every time, like, it's been with like, I've had like three boyfriends since like we started fooling around and like I keep seeming to like cheat on them with him and like I keep saying, you know, just leave me alone, just leave me alone, you know.
1:12:23🔗
Drew
Randomly reinforced behaviors cannot be extinguished. That's a conditioning paradigm in mammals.
1:12:32🔗
Drew
In other words, when the- There's a famous study done by behavioral scientists. Right. I'm not finding words tonight. Where they randomly would sort of drop food down to a pigeon. And the behaviors that they'd initiate in order to get the food in the first place, the food randomly reinforce these behaviors. Those behaviors became fixed.
1:12:55🔗
Adam
So what Drew is saying is if this guy comes over and gets some off you and then comes over ten times in a row and gets nothing and then gets some on the eleventh time and then comes over five times in a row and gets something and then goes a month without it, it's so random but it makes him think that this time something could happen.
1:13:20🔗
Drew
You'd be much better off just being with him fifteen times in a row and then cutting him off. That's a behavior.
1:13:27🔗
Adam
Then taking those fifteen times and spreading them out over a thousand visits. Yeah that would keep me coming too. Well what are you doing with him? You're cheating on your boyfriends with him right?
1:14:01🔗
Drew
Yeah well you got to make it clear to him it's never going to happen again and cease contact with him and it will die off but it will take a while. If you have sex with him.
1:14:09🔗
Drew
Well that's the way it goes. If you have sex with him again, expect him to keep coming back.
1:14:24🔗
Adam
Right. You understand? So if you mean it and I'm not so sure you do because something ends up happening. But if you really mean it you got to act that way. And don't even discuss it with him. Just he's gone.
1:14:44🔗
Adam
Just don't do it. Because I want to talk to this submissive dominatrix thing over here. Michelle, you're 16?
1:15:05🔗
Adam
Well, I usually talk to people because they're like they're weird because they call the show.
1:15:42🔗
Drew
Yeah. Well, that will set the stage. Gee, what would that have to do? No, that would set the stage. And then to my guess, you'd add a little sprinkling of physical abuse in there.
1:16:07🔗
Caller
I didn't know what was going on. I just figured out that I was raped in like three or four years ago. And like, because I thought he was playing a game with me. I thought this was what friends were supposed to do. He's like 12 years old and I'm like four and he's like, you know, let's play this game. Let me put this here. And yeah, and I didn't want to.
1:16:32🔗
Drew
I've done a bunch of research lately trying to figure out if anyone knows why this happens to the brain, why these highly intrusive, sexualized experiences create these tremendous arousals around sort of abnormal focuses later in life, such as, you know, dominatrix, submissiveness, these sorts of things that become now highly arousing because of these early events. No one has really worked out that biology yet.
1:17:00🔗
Caller
Not much. My boyfriend right now kind of like acknowledges it but doesn't acknowledge it. I mean, he lets me call him master, but we don't really do anything in the line of that. I mean, like, he doesn't really like it.
1:17:31🔗
Adam
Major Nelson. I would not mind being called master once in a while, except for by black people. If my girlfriend was black, that'd be weird. But master is fine. Yeah. Do you call master?
1:17:51🔗
Caller
What do you mean, get into it? Well, I mean, like I call him that, but he's not really into tying me up or-
1:18:12🔗
Adam
There's probably kernel weirdness in his brain about this too, like, geez, I got this nut job. Okay. So, and when you say Dom Sub, do you want to be submissive all the time or do you want to be dominant sometimes?
1:18:27🔗
Caller
Mostly I want to be submissive. There's, like, very rarely do I want to be dominant, but there is sometimes that I do.
1:18:40🔗
Adam
Well, I don't know. You see, I kind of wonder, and I'll just wonder aloud with to Drew and you can weigh in. Is this like being gay? It's like your uncle molested you, turned you gay, but now what are you going to do? You're sixteen and you're gay? I mean, we don't try to talk people out of it at that point. You got a hankering for Schlong. You're sixteen years old. We know you probably wouldn't have been gay if Uncle Lou didn't get to you, but he did and what are we going to do about it? Is it the same with this?
1:19:14🔗
Adam
So do we tell Michelle to knock it off and control herself or do we say explore it safely?
1:19:21🔗
Drew
Well the problem with it is it tends to become a focus away from intimacy. It's a way of avoiding intimacy. Intimacy becomes too scary and this becomes sort of an alternative. And it's not so bad if it remains, it's no big deal if it just remains sort of playful and just something that's occasional, but if she really starts getting into it and gets compulsive around it, then it becomes a problem.
1:19:55🔗
Drew
What would predict a good situation would be that she should always kind of like this, but it will not become her total experience of a physical encounter.
1:20:02🔗
Adam
Right. All right. Let's see. Lisa here has been with seven guys, cannot have an orgasm.
1:20:11🔗
Adam
She's seventeen, right. This other chick has an enterperiod. Mom told her their dad molested her. That's Kim. Two friends take lots of pills.
1:20:59🔗
Adam
I mean, yeah, true. You got you must have warts on warts on you because I've never heard such a stronger champion.
1:21:10🔗
Adam
It is. But is is one time guarantee the passage? I can't believe that, especially if he's not having any kind of outbreak.
1:21:29🔗
Drew
Some of the warts are if you control them, they don't come back. Some of them have a limited lifespan and go away by themselves. But the more persistent larger ones are the ones that tend to be associated with the cervical cancer. And although no infectious process necessarily transmit that a single contact, this is one of those diseases where it often does.
1:21:57🔗
Adam
Al Dera, what's it called? Al Dera. Al Dera, it's my Italian uncle's name. And Alfredo Dera was his full name. And you know it's great, they don't know what to do with these commercials because it's warts. What the hell are you going to do? I mean you can't, you can't, you can't.
1:22:18🔗
Adam
Well, now that's for that kickbox. Well, you see this windsurfing over the fields of wheat is allergy, allergies. And that there's no stigma attached to that so they can, they can do that.
1:22:32🔗
Adam
Herpes, it's chicks living their life and kicking the ass out of, out of heavy bags. Right. They're living.
1:22:42🔗
Adam
Yes. These warts and these herpes do not have to hold you down. Somehow they work out.
1:22:48🔗
Adam
They work out in this mythical gym. The gyms in these commercials, they're blimp hangers. They have ceilings.
1:22:54🔗
Adam
Yes. They have ceilings that are 60 stories high with the clear glass, with the wire glass in the top.
1:23:01🔗
Adam
Then there's a boxing gym in the middle of this area, nothing else around. And everything else is basically dimly lit except for the spotlight on them. And then she's the only chick in the world who's in the gym and she's working out with her trainer in the middle of the thing.
1:23:19🔗
Adam
By the way. You can't just have them rubbing their herpes on the gym equipment at the Y. You got to have some kind of bizarre fantasy gym that you're working out in and she's running on the track and she's kickboxing everywhere. And now the award commercials are coming out.
1:23:38🔗
Adam
Well, here's the important thing. First off, I think they ought to just treat it like anything else. You know, they have like Rosie the Bounty Woman or Madge the Madge you're soaking in it for Palmolive. You're really dating yourself.
1:23:58🔗
Adam
Bob the Wart. I don't know, but let's get a spokesman. Let's get Tom Arnold or in there, Carrot Top or somebody.
1:24:08🔗
Adam
Hell, I'd do it if the money was right. We'll get in there, get some kind of spokesman. And like I said, like you had Brawny, the Lumberjack for Bounty Town.
1:24:18🔗
Adam
Mr. Sharman, the Please Don't Squeeze It guy. I think we need somebody for these war commercials. But here's all they do. They show, they show, first off, they show every nationality because you can't just show one nationality and warts otherwise. It's implying that only these folks get warts.
1:24:37🔗
Drew
But the fact that they do show multiple nationalities does sort of bring to mind the fact that certain ethnicities may have a predilection. Which is true.
1:24:45🔗
Adam
Oh, that's true? I have not heard that. No, and that does not bring that to mind. I mean, when you show one of everybody, it doesn't say that one ethnicity has.
1:25:02🔗
Drew
Not more easily, not more easily. It's just that in certain cities and things, the Hispanic tend to have it in certain areas.
1:25:07🔗
Adam
Oh, Drew, you're saying people of color deserve warts? You're saying God gave them warts to punish them because their skin is darker than ours? Okay, that's what it sounded like you're saying. Here's what I'm saying. You have to have one of everybody. Then I always wonder, how desperate at gig is this for this actor? I'm looking at this Asian guy in his 20s. They all got that same sort of pensive look on their face. Sure, they're not happy about warts, but there's a certain quite confidence that they exude. They're not jovial and they're not crying. There's that look. You know that look you get?
1:25:40🔗
Adam
Yes, that knowing, you know what? Here's the look. I got warts, but in any shame of it, and it's not going to slow me down. I'm young. I got my life ahead of me. I got to spread warts around the world. And that's my mission.
1:25:59🔗
Drew
Yeah, they need to have the guy get up in the morning and opening up the medicine cabinet, and there's another guy on the other side of the medicine cabinet.
1:26:09🔗
Adam
No, I, listen, they got a chick. There's chicks walking alone on the beach. There's a lot of nature involved with these sexually transmitted diseases. Meanwhile, the guy got it in some tenement slum in East LA. But for some reason, everybody's walking. It's hot-looking chicks who good-looking people. You never see any skanks on these commercials. It's good-looking pieces of ass who are getting these warts, which is a little bit confusing to me because like, I'd like to nail this wart queen. She's got the dress pulled up and she's walking. She's on some like English countryside and there's a pond and there's different guises. Lots of fog rolling by and it's dark and a lot of people with a determined look on their face. I would just like to, I'd like to be in on one of the meetings at the ad agencies that discusses how we're going to approach this. They never show, now they show the name of it, but they never show the product. They never show the pills or the creams or the whatever. Then, there's a 40-minute disclaimer. If you're pregnant, if you're over 4 feet tall, if you're pregnant or think you might be pregnant, if you smoke cigarettes or know somebody who smokes cigarettes.
1:27:23🔗
Adam
Projectile vomiting and diarrhea, greasy stool, entrenched mouth may also cause more warts, lesions, pancreatic cancer.
1:27:36🔗
Adam
People who ride or own mopeds should not participate in this. Less than 1% of people experience loss of hair and cataract detachment. It's just a great commercial. It's the most entertaining commercial you could ever see, especially at the end when they give that greasy stool part.
1:27:59🔗
Adam
All right. Working fine. Working fine. And should not, I learned from the commercial, be used while having intercourse. You've got to wipe down the cream.
1:28:49🔗
Caller
Hi, this is Mark from Glink 182, and you are listening to Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew on Loveline. I have a really big gift.
1:28:56🔗
Adam
Hey, yo, Loveline. I'm Adam, that's Drew. Watching more footage from Drew's vacation, seeing the crazy monkeys in the Brazilian rainforest.
1:29:28🔗
Adam
Jesus Christ. I'm from North Hollywood. If I see a snail, I'm really excited. Oh my God. Look at that. Don't say anything. You'll scare me. I'm going to name it. Geez, what a life those kids are having. Dale?
1:29:47🔗
Caller
Yeah, I was wondering and I've heard you comment about junior colleges all the time. And I was wondering because I'm getting out of high school after this year. I'm a senior in high school and I was wondering if I should either go into junior college or go and listen to the military.
1:30:12🔗
Adam
Oh, because here's what I want to say about the military versus junior college. The military you'll be done with in four years, okay? You will, I mean, here's what's interesting about the military to me. Drew, stop looking at your video camera. Now it's become a distraction for me. Junior college is, you go to junior college when you're a crappy student in high school.
1:30:38🔗
Adam
And don't know what you want to do. And obviously your study habits aren't what it could be or you're not too bright. And I know I sound like I'm criticizing you and I am, but I was one of those people. So doing more school for a guy who's not very good at school is a huge waste of everyone's time. Now, junior college may not be a waste of time 10 years from now, when you got a little discipline, you got your head screwed on straight and you know what you want to do with your life. But you didn't know what you want to do with the last few years of your life, and you're not going to know what you want to do for the next few years of your life. You'll go to junior college, you'll kick around for three or four years, and you'll walk away with nothing.
1:31:22🔗
Adam
Here's the thing about, I'm telling you, if you're not going to a four-year college, those years between 18 and 22 are wasted. I drank beer, smoked weed, and cleaned carpet and dug ditches on a construction site. And it made all of $8,000 in those four years, and just basically lived eating macaroni and cheese, and lived in a one-bedroom with some idiots and learned nothing and did nothing. It's just a waste, just living. I would have been better off if someone would just have froze me with Walt Disney's head and put me on some kind of breathing apparatus. I would have gotten more, it's true. More out of life. You go to the military, you specialize in something, not something kooky like, don't get into something kooky like radar or something like that. Get into like electronics or something. Give us something that has a, that translates into civilian life.
1:32:13🔗
Adam
No, you can't do that because you got to go to college. You got to go to college and academy for that. Just go learn how to work on something or fix something. Then you get medical and dental for the rest of your life, which is a big deal when you're poor. And you get all these benefits. You can borrow money with low interest rates, if you want to buy a house, you can get like zero on that. All that for those four years that you would have completely wasted at junior college playing hacky sack and scoring weed and doing nothing. Go to the military. But like I said, don't be an idiot. Learn how to do something while you're in the military. And when you're ever going to get a chance to work around a million or billion dollar equipment that way ever again, think about how cool it is.
1:33:07🔗
Caller
So what's up? I was like you and I used to think that these datelines were totally cheesy.
1:33:26🔗
Adam
We'll be right back. All righty, everybody. Well, there's the end of the show. I want to thank you all for listening. Well, thank Drew for bringing in the tape of his vacation.
1:34:20🔗
Adam
If not, I'm going to bring my itch a sketch. I got to stay occupied. So until next time, is Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew saying? Mahalo. I got warts, but in any shame of it, and it's not going to slow me down. I'm young. I got my life ahead of me. I got to spread warts around the world, and that's my mission.
1:34:38🔗
Caller
This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, but of the management sponsors for this station. The producer for Loveline is Ann Wilkins Dingle. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.