Monday, December 3, 2001

1:01🔗 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised. Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew. Loveline, Coast to Coast.

1:13🔗 Voiceover Hey, everybody. It's Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. It's Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Dr. Drew, Board Certified Physician and Addiction Medicine Specialist. Patricia Arquette is our guest tonight. Patricia is a fine, fine actress.

1:30🔗 Patricia Arquette Oh, thank you, ladies and gents.

1:32🔗 Adam And a beautiful, beautiful woman.

1:34🔗 Ow!

1:35🔗 Adam I don't believe we've had Patricia on the show since the TV show.

1:39🔗 Drew That's exactly right.

1:40🔗 Adam Is that correct?

1:40🔗 That is correct.

1:41🔗 Adam But I do enjoy her. She has a unique vibe, as do all the Arquettes. And yours is even more palatable than, let's say, David.

1:52🔗 Drew Be careful. David will suddenly appear at the door behind you.

1:54🔗 Patricia Arquette That's right. He'll tackle you and wrestle you.

1:57🔗 Drew She doesn't know this story.

1:58🔗 Adam I said something about David that, yeah, I know.

2:02🔗 Hold me back.

2:03🔗 Drew No, listen.

2:05🔗 Adam I said David was crazy, and David walked through this door that I'm pointing at here less than four minutes after I announced it on the air, and he had no intention of coming in. He was not booked to come in. We had not seen him in many months. It was as if you just shouted a name into the microphone, and that person then appeared at the door. Cary Grant. Yes. All right.

2:31🔗 We'll see. Quiet.

2:32🔗 Let's wait.

2:33🔗 Adam Don't say anything.

2:34🔗 All right.

2:35🔗 Adam Patricia is here to, I mean, you got some movies coming out. We can talk about all that, but mainly to talk about landmines.

2:44🔗 Patricia Arquette Yeah, landmines and also a little bit about discrimination because I've been working with the LA County Commission on Human Relations Against Discrimination because there's been a lot of that since the 11th and...

2:54🔗 Adam I'm not sure about the blacks. Oh, you know what I was thinking today, though?

2:58🔗 Patricia Arquette What?

2:59🔗 Adam Never met a black person with bad breath.

3:01🔗 Patricia Arquette What are you talking about?

3:03🔗 Adam I was just, it jumped into my head while I was watching TV. I think, I don't think black people have bad breath. That's not a bad thing to say about a culture, is it? I don't know why it just popped into my head.

3:14🔗 Patricia Arquette I just like to assume that all people with good oral hygiene have good breath.

3:18🔗 Adam Well, I was thinking, because I ate like two cloves of garlic tonight with dinner, and I thought I was going to have bad breath.

3:23🔗 Patricia Arquette He's got issues with himself, he's projecting onto other people.

3:27🔗 Drew He just thinks about himself all the time.

3:29🔗 Adam I was watching Monday Night Football, and this black guy was jumping on top of this other guy, yelling at him, and I thought, I never met any black guys with bad breath, and I don't think that's a bad thought. I think that's a good thought, right?

3:40🔗 Patricia Arquette I don't know that any thoughts are bad thoughts.

3:42🔗 Adam That's what I like.

3:43🔗 Patricia Arquette What you do with your thoughts.

3:45🔗 Adam That's right. You know what I do? Nothing.

3:47🔗 Patricia Arquette That's right.

3:49🔗 Drew You have nothing to worry about with Adam. He's way too lazy.

3:51🔗 Adam Way too lazy to do anything with my thoughts ever. People say to me all the time, why don't you write a book? Why don't you come out of the county? I go, are you kidding? I'd have to get up. So I'm not doing anything with my thoughts, but tell me about your thoughts on the landmines, and then we'll get into the discrimination.

4:06🔗 Patricia Arquette Well, I was invited the other night to this person's house, and they spoke about landmines, and it was just horrifying. I wanted to talk a little bit about what's been going on. Right now, there's tomorrow, and the third and the fourth, they're having this time for people to call in to the White House switchboard, which I'll give the number later or the website number.

4:29🔗 Drew It's the third today, right? So today and tomorrow only?

4:31🔗 Patricia Arquette Right, but maybe the next day too, because today it's been so busy, people have been calling in. So, what's going on right now is George Bush is sort of on the edge of repealing, coming forward with the West of the World and supporting a ban on landmines, even though Clinton was sort of moving towards that very slowly. And when Clinton was in office, like General Schwarzkopf and all these really important generals wrote letters saying, look, it doesn't help our troops. It's an ineffective mode of weaponry. Right now on the ground, there's 80 million landmines already laid in the ground.

5:08🔗 Drew 80 million?

5:09🔗 Patricia Arquette If you planted a landmine today, it might not explode. The war that you're fighting will end in a couple years, but your grandson could step on that landmine and lose his leg. So already there's 80 million time bombs in the ground.

5:25🔗 Drew Are most of them in a particular area, like Southeast Asia or something?

5:28🔗 Patricia Arquette Well, Afghanistan is one of the most heavily mined areas.

5:32🔗 Adam Orange County, I believe.

5:33🔗 Drew Orange County.

5:33🔗 Patricia Arquette In Vietnam, we lost one-third of our soldiers who died, died by landmines.

5:39🔗 Drew But I don't hear about people dying in Afghanistan from landmine exposure.

5:41🔗 Patricia Arquette Well, you don't hear about it, but it happens every day.

5:44🔗 Drew Were these set by Russians or?

5:45🔗 Patricia Arquette Yeah, a lot by Russians. But the whole Northern Hemisphere is against landmines. Northern, or what? Yeah, the Northern Hemisphere, except for the United States and Cuba.

5:59🔗 Adam Right. Yeah. Well, I don't under, I mean, you know, as far as landmines for taking out personnel, that just seems like a lot of work to get a guy. You know, I mean, I understand mines to take out equipment, tanks, you know, that kind of stuff. But most of the mines we're talking about are personnel mines. Right.

6:17🔗 Patricia Arquette Anti-personnel landmines.

6:19🔗 Adam And inevitably, the people that step on them are just kids running out in the field. I mean, I don't know what percentage of landmines find their intended target. I guess, I'm guessing it's way, way down.

6:28🔗 Patricia Arquette Well, like UNICEF said that 30 or 40 percent of the mine victims are children under 15. So then they can't get, you know, these people are so poor that maybe they have one cow. So, they can't have cows walk through minefields. That's their whole survival. And they can't get fitted for prosthetic limbs because they're growing and changing. And they don't even have those prosthetics over there. So, in these countries like Afghanistan where women are not allowed to work, even with this Northern, you know, alliance. Well, at this point, you know, they have to go out and look for wood and scrap around. And they're getting their legs blown off. And all they can hope is to marry someone. And nobody wants to marry them when they don't have limbs.

7:09🔗 Adam Well, I'd like a limousine.

7:11🔗 Patricia Arquette You, you're a limousine lover.

7:13🔗 Adam Well, they can't get away. That's all I'm saying.

7:15🔗 Drew I figured.

7:16🔗 Adam I'm going to watch the house. I'm going out for a long weekend. But yes, I know this is a horrible. I'm sure I said to Drew last night, this whole landline thing would be a bizarre thing to explain to somebody from a different planet. You know, we bury these explosives, then no one steps on them, then the war ends, then ten years goes by, then some kid who wasn't even born at the time they planted the landmine is walking out on the dirt and it blows his foot off or his leg off.

7:42🔗 Drew We have so much other technology. Why couldn't we make these become obsolete in a year, two years, three years?

7:47🔗 Patricia Arquette Well, we can. That's why all these other countries sign this thing.

7:51🔗 Drew But even if they don't want to get rid of landmines, why not have them lease landmines that decay in a year?

7:56🔗 Patricia Arquette Well, that's what they have this thing called smart bombs. And even all the generals and everyone else said, well, we can't put that in the treaty because those are so expensive to make. And even so, there's no real smart bomb. They can't distinguish between a soldier's foot and a child's foot. They just can't. But they sort of die off in their own amount of time. But the problem is, only rich countries can afford that. Right now, in NATO, everyone else has signed it except the United States and Turkey.

8:26🔗 Adam Yeah, you know, I don't understand why. I would like to hear our side of this, because it seems like we need this the least. I mean, as a nation.

8:36🔗 Patricia Arquette Well, that's why I thought it was interesting that all these generals, like Schwarzkopf, came out and said, we don't need this, and it's actually dangerous for we don't... for our own soldiers to go into these countries. I mean, right now, we don't know what's going to happen the next six months or a year in Afghanistan. We don't know what's going to happen with the Northern Alliance. And right now, there's 724 million square meters of land that are mined in Afghanistan. And I personally don't feel comfortable sending our soldiers out on the ground into that.

9:04🔗 Adam I know, and it's such a... it's a saddest thing in the world when you see these kids in these third world nations. They're missing their leg. They don't have... I mean, even under the best situation where you have money and you have prosthetics and you have doctors, it's still a bitch to lose your leg, I would imagine. But imagine when you don't have these kind of facilities.

9:25🔗 Patricia Arquette And if you look at the fact that 50% of the world's never made a phone call.

9:29🔗 Adam Really?

9:30🔗 Patricia Arquette And that it costs $10 to make a landmine and plant it in the ground and $1,000 to have it removed.

9:36🔗 Adam Really?

9:37🔗 Patricia Arquette It's just mind-boggling.

9:39🔗 Adam Hold on, half this world hasn't made a phone call?

9:42🔗 Patricia Arquette Yeah.

9:43🔗 Drew Holy Christ.

9:44🔗 Adam That's amazing. Really? How do you figure? Who gets those stats? Like AT&T?

9:49🔗 Patricia Arquette Well, you know, you think about it. It starts making sense pretty dang quick.

9:53🔗 Adam Really? Well, I mean, I guess...

9:54🔗 Patricia Arquette You think about Africa and you think about parts of China.

9:58🔗 Adam I guess. I mean, I guess we could go for it. I mean, I'll believe that.

10:03🔗 Patricia Arquette Go for it.

10:04🔗 Adam I would rather step on a landmine than make another phone call. All right. So, look, landmine's bad. Let's call the White House.

10:12🔗 Patricia Arquette Yeah. And I wanted to talk to kids about this because when we were young, we were little punk rockers, and people were interested in the Contras, and people were interested in Sandinistas. And, you know, when you're young, you have all this energy, and what do you do with it? And you sit around, and you cause trouble. Well, instead, sort of figure out, who do you want to grow into? Who do you want to become? Start becoming active. Use your, use all this energy. Harness it in some kind of way where you could start growing. Start becoming the person you want to be. Start asking questions because the country that we're making now is going to be their country in a few years. We have to be active. We have to ask things. We have to become aware.

10:48🔗 Adam All right. I agree with all of you. Now go to your room. Call a time out for Patricia. Let's take some phone calls. We'll talk about some upcoming movies, Patricia, as one with Spike Jonze and one opposite Billy Bob Thornton, who's turning into quite a fine actor, I might say.

11:09🔗 Laura?

11:11🔗 Yes.

11:11🔗 Adam You're 23?

11:12🔗 Caller Yes.

11:13🔗 Adam What's up?

11:15🔗 Caller My brother, he's 18, and he got his girl from pregnant. And she wants to have an abortion and he doesn't. And she's just being totally irrational, wanting to talk to him, wanting to acknowledge he doesn't exist any longer. And they had a good relationship and everything, so it's not like, you know, he did anything to her. He's really a sweet guy. And I was wondering if there's any possible way, like, legally, or where he can prevent this from happening. Because he's willing to take, you know, take the child and my parents are very supportive and, you know, let her walk away from the whole thing. But his whole thing is he wants to have this kid, he doesn't believe in abortion, and she won't have anything to do with that discussion.

12:00🔗 Drew So I think the way these laws are designed, again, I'm no expert in this, and we might want to get some calls from attorneys, but the child is considered part of her body, and it becomes her decision exclusively.

12:13🔗 Patricia Arquette Right. This is like a really sad situation, and I've spoken to several men who are grown up and really lament the fact that this woman they were with wouldn't and went on to have an abortion and mourn that the rest of their lives. So I think that's a good argument to use condoms, you know? If you feel a certain way, I mean, I know it's too late in this circumstance, but whoever's listening out there, you know, you gotta talk with your partner before you have sex about what you think about pregnancy and using contraception.

12:43🔗 Adam Well here's the deal, Laura. If this guy had a bunch of money and a bunch of attorneys, he could probably do something here. Possibly.

12:50🔗 Caller Possibly.

12:51🔗 Adam Probably. But I don't think he has either one of those things, and I don't think there's a whole lot he's gonna be able to do here.

12:59🔗 Patricia Arquette How old are they?

13:01🔗 Caller She's 18 and she's 17.

13:03🔗 Drew All right. Patricia and I actually worked for the same Planned Parenthood 100 years ago.

13:09🔗 Adam I remember you saying that when you were on the TV show. What did you do over there? Just mop up?

13:14🔗 Patricia Arquette No. Hey now, what are you getting at?

13:17🔗 Adam I don't know what goes on in those places. They actually have sex in there?

13:20🔗 Patricia Arquette No. I'd go around to schools and talk about birth control, and I was a peer counselor.

13:26🔗 Adam Really? And this is obviously before showbiz, right?

13:29🔗 Patricia Arquette Yeah.

13:30🔗 Adam But did you look at it? Did you draw on your acting abilities, I mean, to communicate, to present, as it were?

13:39🔗 Patricia Arquette It probably actually made me better in my presenting abilities, because I was really shy. And I'd go and talk to kids, and I'd say, okay, then the baby's born, and you... I'm supposed to say, you know, the doctor cuts the umbilical cord, but instead I'm dyslexic, so I'd say, the doctor cuts the spinal cord, and I'd get these looks around the room, and a kid would raise his hand like, um, why would the doctor cut this spinal cord?

14:02🔗 Adam Our listeners would have no problem with that statement, by the way.

14:04🔗 Drew They would nod. They wouldn't hear it.

14:05🔗 Adam They would nod and just keep moving forward.

14:07🔗 Patricia Arquette Wake up, kids.

14:08🔗 Caller Wake up.

14:10🔗 Adam All right, Shannon?

14:12🔗 Patricia Arquette Yeah.

14:12🔗 Adam And finally, Delora, just, I don't know, leave your... I don't know, don't get so involved with your brother's life. It's sad, but don't make it your cross to bear. He's an 18-year-old guy, got himself in a little trouble. She's going to clean it up, and don't you go getting into it with her.

14:28🔗 Drew Egypt has 23 million landmines. We never hear about anything going wrong with that in Egypt.

14:34🔗 Patricia Arquette Well, that's just not what we're talking about. When we're talking about the Lakers, we're going to talk about, you know, something like that.

14:39🔗 Drew But I mean, when people go to Egypt, you don't hear... the tourist organizations don't say, be careful of landmines. Is there certain areas that people just don't go and that's mined or...

14:47🔗 Patricia Arquette Well, I'm sure that the pyramids aren't mined, you know, but there's millions of acres of places where people don't. I mean, most of these landmines are in little villages. We're still demining, you know, and will be for years and years in Vietnam, mines that we laid there. Like I said, a third of our own casualties in Vietnam, of our own soldiers who died were from landmines. But there were some companies that they wrote to, like Motorola, who they said, look, you guys are making something that goes in landmines and at least, you know, do the thing of conscience and stop making these. And Motorola said they would stop making them.

15:22🔗 Adam That's nice.

15:22🔗 Patricia Arquette My GE said no, we're going to make them.

15:24🔗 Adam Well.

15:26🔗 Patricia Arquette So there you have it. So you can also contact GE and say, we don't like that. That's not nice. Nice to blow kids up.

15:32🔗 Adam Hey, Shannon.

15:33🔗 Caller Yeah.

15:33🔗 Adam What's up?

15:35🔗 Caller Hi, I'm Big Founding Guy. And Patricia as well. Thanks. And I've got a question. It's probably really stupid, but I've been on the depot shot for 10 months and I haven't gotten my period.

15:51🔗 Drew Well, you're not going to as long as you're on the shot.

15:53🔗 Caller Oh, I didn't know that.

15:55🔗 Drew Yeah. You usually bleed like crazy the first three months and then it stops from then on.

15:59🔗 Adam Didn't your doctor tell you that?

16:01🔗 Caller Well, he did, but I wasn't sure because I thought that no matter what birth control you were on, you would bleed.

16:07🔗 Drew No, no. Depo, you can lose your period. Typically do.

16:12🔗 Caller Is it going to affect me in the future?

16:15🔗 Drew No. In fact, some gynecologists are advocating that the birth control bill be taken without cycling. You just take it continuously and not bleed at all.

16:23🔗 Caller Really? Yeah, because I take it every 12 weeks without fail.

16:27🔗 Adam Drew, what is this going to do to the tampon companies? Well, think about that.

16:32🔗 Drew They're going to start building landmines. Yeah.

16:35🔗 Adam They may.

16:36🔗 Drew There's an opportunity for them here.

16:37🔗 Adam I think they already use those strings as a sort of fuse. Oh, gosh.

16:41🔗 Drew Fuselage.

16:42🔗 Adam Little strings, yeah.

16:43🔗 Drew Well, it's not the strings. It's those little applicators.

16:44🔗 Adam Oh, the cardboard. Yeah, that's right. The one I found in the trash can when I was a kid using it for a telescope. That one, Drew. That one.

16:52🔗 Patricia Arquette Nice.

16:52🔗 Adam Yes, very sad. Well, seriously, Drew, what about this?

16:58🔗 Patricia Arquette About what?

16:58🔗 Adam I'm worried about tampon and pad companies.

17:01🔗 Drew Well, they do other things. There's a big company. It's called Playtex.

17:04🔗 Patricia Arquette I'm more worried about, you know, so many young kids now are coming down with AIDS because, I mean, if kids start turning to this as their only form of birth control, World AIDS Day was, I guess, on the first. And they're saying, like, the highest percentage, the highest group of people who are now getting AIDS are black males, 25 to 18.

17:24🔗 Adam Who don't have bad breath, by the way.

17:26🔗 Patricia Arquette And the second one is everyone else, like 15 and under. Some crazy, like, young age.

17:34🔗 Adam Well, black males, that's where, in Africa?

17:38🔗 Patricia Arquette I don't know.

17:39🔗 Adam I'm guessing.

17:40🔗 Drew Yeah.

17:40🔗 Adam We've got to straighten those people out.

17:41🔗 Patricia Arquette Straight males.

17:43🔗 Adam Straight males.

17:43🔗 Drew That's huge in Africa. Huge.

17:44🔗 Patricia Arquette Yeah, it is enormous. But here, too, you know, you've got to be...

17:48🔗 Adam Yeah, you've got to put them condoms on.

17:49🔗 Patricia Arquette You've got to wear condoms till you get married and decide you're going to be together and then fling them off.

17:53🔗 Adam No, no. If you got someone you've been with for a while and you guys are monogamous, you're fine. You're fine.

17:59🔗 Patricia Arquette Get tested. Just be safe.

18:01🔗 Adam All right, go ahead. Mike?

18:04🔗 Yeah.

18:04🔗 Adam You're 22?

18:06🔗 Caller 22.

18:06🔗 Adam What's up?

18:08🔗 Caller Hey, I got a question for Dr. Drew.

18:10🔗 Caller Yeah.

18:12🔗 Caller Got kind of a dilemma here. It's not really a dilemma. Anyway, me and my girlfriend have sex on a regular basis, four or less three times a day. And it doesn't matter how much we have sex. She totally tightens up like a virgin like the next time we have sex. And of course, that affects my stamina. And I'm wondering if there's any kind of thing that she can take or, I mean, I'm an average-sized guy or if there's like a, you know, growth hormone pill that I can take for down there. What do I do?

18:44🔗 Adam Does she regrow the hymen as well?

18:47🔗 What's that?

18:50🔗 Adam She tightens up like a virgin.

18:52🔗 Drew Wait, wait, wait.

18:52🔗 Patricia Arquette Why would he take a growth hormone pill?

18:54🔗 Drew Yeah, I know. This is a great question. Why do you think that a woman changes just by having sex?

19:00🔗 Caller I'm not sure. I'm just saying. It's like, I don't know what to do. I mean, I don't know why she tightens up.

19:06🔗 Patricia Arquette Is she actually prepared to have sex by the time you have sex with her? Is she like really into it? Is she already lubricated?

19:13🔗 Caller Yeah, totally. And then she listens up while we're having sex. But it's like, once we start up again, it just, you know, it's tighter than a bit.

19:22🔗 Patricia Arquette How long has she been sexual?

19:24🔗 Caller Oh, God. Quite a while.

19:27🔗 Drew How old is she?

19:28🔗 Adam Fourteen.

19:29🔗 Drew What do you mean, when you start up again, she...

19:32🔗 Adam I think it means the next day.

19:33🔗 Caller When do we have sex again?

19:34🔗 Drew You're talking about the same evening?

19:36🔗 Caller Yeah.

19:36🔗 Drew So she has muscular spasm down there, is what you're saying. And it makes it...

19:41🔗 Caller I have no idea what it is.

19:42🔗 Drew All right, Mike, just answer the question. Oh, boy. Mike, so she... It becomes difficult to penetrate, right? Because there's muscular spasm down there.

19:51🔗 Caller Yeah, and it hurts her like you wouldn't believe.

19:53🔗 Drew And she has pain. Okay. So she has something called vaginismus, which is a real common thing. And it's caused sometimes by a spinal reflex that there's actually some websites out there, if you just look it up, to talk about... There's manuals out there to help you undo this. And sometimes it's from anxiety and nervousness. And that's the road that Patricia was going down to make sure that she's sort of ready for this.

20:14🔗 Caller Yeah, I mean, I don't know why she'd be nervous.

20:17🔗 Drew Well...

20:17🔗 Caller I'd drive a truck for a living, you know.

20:19🔗 Caller Yeah.

20:22🔗 Drew I'm nervous just hearing this guy talk.

20:23🔗 Adam I'd be nervous being nude in a room with a guy who drove a truck for a living.

20:27🔗 Caller But I don't live in Bakersfield.

20:28🔗 Adam All right, that's good. Hey, does... You say it screws with your endurance when she tightens up.

20:35🔗 Caller Yeah, because it's so wrapped around it, you know.

20:37🔗 Adam Yeah. That's right.

20:38🔗 Caller It just totally kills my stamina. I'm gone in like, you know, three, five minutes.

20:43🔗 Adam It's an interesting angle to blame her vagina for premature ejaculation.

20:48🔗 Drew It's too good.

20:49🔗 Adam Yeah.

20:50🔗 Drew Too much.

20:50🔗 Adam Loosen up, baby. Give me a shot here to operate. Yeah. It's like humping a bench vice. How am I supposed to not have an orgasm? It's interesting that he kind of turns it on her.

21:02🔗 Patricia Arquette Yeah. I hope she's not feeling bad about it.

21:04🔗 Adam Well, most guys would look at that little extra friction as a plus.

21:11🔗 Drew Right.

21:12🔗 Adam But I'm guessing he's got a little problem with premature E anyway. And he may be sort of making a little more out of her clinch than what's actually going on to sort of help his case with the premature E.

21:26🔗 Drew Could be.

21:26🔗 Adam That's what I would argue if I was arguing against his testicles in court. Patricia Arquette is our guest tonight. She's four are against Lion Mines. I'm not clear. But four aides against Lion Mines, if I heard correctly.

21:48🔗 Drew Four condoms.

21:48🔗 Adam Against AIDS and Lion Mines?

21:50🔗 Yes.

21:52🔗 Drew Four condoms.

21:53🔗 Patricia Arquette Only four condoms.

21:54🔗 Adam Four condoms against AIDS, if I heard her right.

21:57🔗 Patricia Arquette You heard me correctly.

21:58🔗 Adam And also against Lion Mines. But not if it's taken out. But Ruskies. Are we still mad at them, Drew?

22:06🔗 Drew They're our friends now.

22:06🔗 Adam Oh, okay. We like the Ruskies. We'll take a little break and we'll be right back.

22:12🔗 Caller Loveline, Loveline, 1-800-LOVE-191, we'll be right back.

22:46🔗 Adam Hey, everybody. Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew over there. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Bad Religion, 311. Robert Downey Jr. Anthony Kitas. All folks coming up on this show in the next four or five days or so.

23:03🔗 Drew Ron Lester, Jamie Presley, right?

23:07🔗 Adam Yep. I saw it up there there, Drew.

23:09🔗 Drew What have you said then?

23:10🔗 Adam I didn't say it. I saw it. I just didn't say it. Patricia Arquette, of course, is our guest tonight. She's got one of these movies coming up, this Spike Jonze movie in this Billy Bob Thornton movie.

23:23🔗 Patricia Arquette Spike actually produced this movie. This great director, Michelle Gondre did it. He did all his Bjork videos, a bunch of cool rock videos. But Charlie Kaufman wrote it, who wrote Being John Malkovich. So I think that's going to be out early next year.

23:40🔗 Adam I really enjoyed that Being John Malkovich movie.

23:43🔗 Drew Did you see that? I love it, yes.

23:45🔗 Adam Yeah. Just fascinating.

23:47🔗 Patricia Arquette Well I think you'll like this movie because I play a woman who has a condition called hirsutism.

23:51🔗 Drew Feels hairy.

23:52🔗 Adam Hair.

23:52🔗 Patricia Arquette I'm a hairy lady, a hairy lady.

23:55🔗 Adam And how does that work? I mean, did they stick it to you?

23:59🔗 Patricia Arquette Yeah, they glued it to me, it was so gross.

24:01🔗 Adam All over your face and everything?

24:03🔗 Patricia Arquette All over, everywhere. I have a mane down my back and these little swirls on my butt and more breast hair than.

24:10🔗 Adam I'd still take you.

24:11🔗 Patricia Arquette Thank you.

24:11🔗 Adam Pretend I was having sex with a chimp.

24:13🔗 Patricia Arquette Yeah, well, yeah.

24:15🔗 Adam Again. Also, Patricia is here to say that landmines are bad. AIDS is bad. AIDS is, no, no.

24:23🔗 Patricia Arquette Bad and discrimination is bad.

24:24🔗 Adam Discrimination, bad.

24:26🔗 Patricia Arquette All these things.

24:27🔗 Adam There's a lot of discrimination going out there against Arab Americans, is this true?

24:31🔗 Patricia Arquette And Latinos too.

24:32🔗 Adam Latinos.

24:33🔗 Patricia Arquette Since the 11th, yeah.

24:35🔗 Adam Well, they were on our S-list long before 9-11. I mean, let's be fair.

24:38🔗 Patricia Arquette Jewish people are getting attacked and people are just, you know, and I think if any young person out there thinks that some big terrorist plot has been foiled by someone pulling off a lady's headscarf, they're wrong. I mean, it's not helping anybody at all. How about threatening phone calls and...

24:54🔗 Adam I know this sounds like a horrible concept that I have, but how about everyone just drops it? I don't mean the discrimination part. I just mean drop whatever you got. You know what I mean? Can't we all just be Americans?

25:08🔗 Patricia Arquette You mean drop your headgear, your hats and everything?

25:10🔗 Adam Yeah, just drop it. Drop all. Drop the parade, drop the flag, drop everything. Just show up here, go to work, love your family, love your new country. You know what I mean? I'm not saying it's right to single out or attack any group. On the other hand, I don't think most people know who or what most people are, and I don't know what the impulse to sort of throw a parade. It's like the gay parade.

25:40🔗 Patricia Arquette Like there's a Sikh guy, a bunch of Sikh guys got killed because they wear those turbans on their head, and I don't know why exactly they wear them. Native Americans would grow their hair because they believe that was a channel to the grandfather, the higher power god, you know?

25:54🔗 Adam Right. I'm saying drop it. That's what I'm saying.

25:57🔗 Patricia Arquette Well, but that's part of their religious beliefs. And this country was based on freedom of religion. We can't just say it's inconvenient now. We don't like that.

26:06🔗 Adam Well, I mean, like, you take the gays, for example. They want equality, and then they have the gay parade, and a bunch of guys in chaps go up and down pulling each other by the nipples, and everyone gets PO'd, and then they go after them. And then they want to know why they're being persecuted. But I don't know who's gay and who isn't gay. So I'm just saying all you got to do is leave the chaps at home, and everyone's fine.

26:27🔗 Patricia Arquette Yeah, but I went to, I got really pissed. I went to that stupid, what is that thing called? You know, it's like medieval times, the Renaissance Fair.

26:35🔗 Oh, well, you should have done that.

26:36🔗 Patricia Arquette And I actually went there on Father's Day. And there was an old gay man wearing some chaps, and it wasn't pretty. OK, I admit it. And my son was like, yeah, look. And I was like, well, yeah, it looks silly. It's not pretty, but oh, who cares? You know, he can wear whatever he wants. And then some lady was sitting there like ye olde winch, like with their boobs popping out. And some guy had his hand up some lady's skirt. And it was like, that was acceptable. That was fine. That was fine. That was happening.

27:02🔗 Adam Listen, we make plenty of fun of the Renaissance people and the Trekkies and all the other goofballs in this society who, who, who every, every day is Halloween, every day is Halloween.

27:10🔗 Patricia Arquette The Renaissance Fair kicked these gay guys out.

27:12🔗 Adam Oh, good.

27:13🔗 Patricia Arquette And I said, but wait a minute, I was just in your place where some of your employees had your hands up people's skirts.

27:19🔗 Adam Right. Not right either.

27:21🔗 Patricia Arquette And I don't want to see you old trucker in a, in a, you know, in a long gown getting, you know, fondled with my child.

27:30🔗 Adam Here's, here's all, all I'm saying. I, I don't think it's right for a clan guy to walk around with a hood on. If I was a Jewish guy, I'd leave the yarmulke at home. If I was an Arab, I'd leave the turban at home. And if I was a gay guy, I'd leave the chaps at home. You know, put them on at home in mints about the house. But when you go out, people, I say this about goth guys. You know, you wear black duster, you put on the black nail polish, and kids kick your ass.

27:55🔗 Patricia Arquette But who's gonna design the uniform?

27:56🔗 Adam No uniform.

27:57🔗 Patricia Arquette Well, okay, what are we gonna wear?

27:59🔗 Adam Gap clothes? Comfortable cotton.

28:01🔗 Drew Star Trek?

28:02🔗 Adam Not only Gap, Old Navy's fine.

28:03🔗 Drew Star Trek uniforms?

28:04🔗 Patricia Arquette Do we wear blue, white, black, white, blue? Well, I can tell you this.

28:07🔗 Adam I don't know a lot about the future, but I know there's two things don't exist. Denim.

28:11🔗 Drew And doors.

28:12🔗 Adam Denim does not exist in the future. Every movie, there's no jeans in the future, and there's no door.

28:18🔗 Patricia Arquette I don't want to go there.

28:19🔗 Adam Doors no longer swing on hinges. They're all like those camera lenses, apexes. You're right. There's two things that don't exist. Yes, hinges and denim in the future. I'm saying we should all just get our-

28:31🔗 Overalls.

28:32🔗 Adam Not if they're denim, and no overalls in the future either.

28:35🔗 Drew By the way, why would they be getting rid of two things that are pretty damn good?

28:39🔗 Patricia Arquette You know what else? Underwear with butt cheeks in it seem to be going out of style. What happened?

28:44🔗 Drew What are butt cheeks?

28:45🔗 Caller Panties.

28:47🔗 Patricia Arquette Remember panties?

28:47🔗 Adam You don't see panty lines?

28:48🔗 Patricia Arquette Well, yes. This is such an anti-panty world now we're living in.

28:53🔗 Drew For women?

28:53🔗 Adam They wear thong backs.

28:55🔗 Drew Oh, I see.

28:55🔗 Patricia Arquette Yeah, come on, bring back the all-American panty.

28:58🔗 Adam I used to like seeing where the panty ended and the jean began.

29:02🔗 Patricia Arquette I'm all for panty lines.

29:03🔗 Adam I like that little Mason Dixon line there. I would like to invent a jean that had a panty line sewn into it. Retro.

29:10🔗 Patricia Arquette It could be a billion.

29:11🔗 Adam How about that?

29:11🔗 Patricia Arquette Not in the future, just now.

29:13🔗 Adam That would be very exciting, like a French cut panty line in your jean. It's going nuts.

29:18🔗 Caller Let's heal some babies.

29:19🔗 Adam Let me say this though. You know what invention I came up with tonight while I was freezing my house watching Monday Night Football? Heated sofa. What's wrong with a heated sofa?

29:27🔗 Drew We have heated car seats now.

29:30🔗 Adam Yeah, heated car seats. I got a two-story house. Why am I heating the entire house when I'm planted on the sofa for three hours watching Monday Night Football? All I need is that sofa heated up.

29:40🔗 Patricia Arquette These ideas are old and you're just throwing them out into the wind.

29:43🔗 Adam Yogurt with fruit in the middle. That's what I came up with last week.

29:47🔗 Caller Fruit in the middle.

29:48🔗 Adam Absolutely. All right.

29:50🔗 I like a girl with a big butt but fruit in the middle.

29:53🔗 Adam David Alan Griff singing about fruit in the middle.

29:55🔗 Because it's fruit and in the middle.

29:57🔗 Adam Heated sofa. Come on. Yeah. Excellent. Thank you. Vincent, you're 18.

30:03🔗 Caller Yeah.

30:03🔗 Adam What's up?

30:05🔗 Caller A couple of weeks ago, my girl and I, we took ecstasy and we had sex. We didn't mean to but we ended up anyways. And we had sex a couple of days later and it wasn't as good for her and it kept on happening. And I noticed it too when I'm like masturbating. It doesn't get hard all the way.

30:24🔗 Caller It's really soft.

30:25🔗 Caller I mean, it's like the-

30:27🔗 Drew How long ago? How long ago was it?

30:28🔗 Caller About two weeks ago.

30:29🔗 Drew Two weeks ago. I have heard of this. I don't know that I've ever heard of permanent erection problems or orgasm function from ecstasy unless it causes the depression and the anxiety problems that we so typically do see from ecstasy.

30:43🔗 Caller Well, you know, we took it and we noticed like it was on a- like we'd be really like in a euphoria. Then it would go away and we'd be really sad like for half an hour. Then it'd come back. Well, it happens like I'll just be chilling at work and all of a sudden I'll be really, really down and pissed.

30:58🔗 Drew Well, that's the- that's what that drug does. And if you do enough-

31:01🔗 Adam One time did you do it?

31:02🔗 Drew No. Although I've seen it- I just recently saw it with two exposures, a guy chronically depressed and panic attacks.

31:09🔗 Adam But Drew, hold on, hold on. Let me say this. First off, I've told you a million times, that's called being a lightweight. You as a doctor have seen guys who've been- where the rear end of their car has been hit at two miles an hour and they've been paralyzed, right?

31:21🔗 Patricia Arquette How are you going to know if you're a lightweight? That's like playing Russian Roulette, like, oh, maybe I'm a lightweight, maybe I'm not. Let me go be depressed for a long time.

31:29🔗 Adam I'll agree with you, but that ain't the drug. That's just- like I said, if someone's got whiplash from an accident that didn't occur, is it because of the accident or because they got a spinal problem?

31:38🔗 Patricia Arquette What was all that lupus stuff that was going on? That people were worried about they were getting lupus from it or nerve damage, no?

31:44🔗 Drew Brain damage, definitely brain damage.

31:46🔗 Adam Go ahead.

31:47🔗 Caller We took it three other times together and it's all different. We've had great-

31:53🔗 Drew How many times have you taken it all told?

31:55🔗 Caller Three, three, three. And they've been in between six months and one time a year.

32:00🔗 Drew That's still, it's usually in my experience around 20 exposures that people really start to get the lifelong problems with this drug. But it can be different for different people. You may be a light weight, as Adam would say.

32:09🔗 Patricia Arquette But it's nice to be able to have an erection. So maybe it's just not worth messing with the chemistry.

32:14🔗 Adam All right. I think that's as much incentive as you need not to take it. And I found it ironic that he said three, three times.

32:21🔗 Drew Yeah, three, just three, three, three.

32:23🔗 Adam Yeah. I'm wondering if he took it four times. He would have said it four or twice, too. Well, it's all pondered that when we think about my heated sofa with the fruit in the middle of the yogurt. Heated sofa, the whole house, it's all you need. OK. Jean?

32:37🔗 Caller Yeah.

32:37🔗 Adam You're 20?

32:39🔗 Caller Yeah, I'm 20 years old. Me and my boyfriend, we've just currently started having sex about a month ago, about two months ago. And I told him that I've never had orgasm with him.

32:51🔗 Drew Have you with someone else?

32:53🔗 Caller Yeah.

32:53🔗 Drew Did you mention that?

32:55🔗 Caller Yeah.

32:55🔗 Drew Well, that was the bad part of the discussion, I'm sure.

32:59🔗 Adam Very smooth. Should have saved it for Christmas, you know, we're just a few weeks away.

33:04🔗 Drew What's the problem with him?

33:05🔗 Caller Well, nothing. Nothing is that. I mean, it just takes me a little bit while. Before he's like, well, his last girlfriend always got wet. And I'm like, well, not all women get wet when they orgasm. And now I feel like he doesn't want to touch me or anything. Like, even deal with it.

33:24🔗 Drew So you tried to tell him that you needed a little change in terms of how he was conducting himself and then he started blaming you?

33:31🔗 Caller Kind of. And then he started blaming himself. And it's more his ego, I think. And I don't know how to deal with him. Like, I try kidding around saying, well, that's a good thing because, you know, Well, does he give you...

33:43🔗 Adam Calm down. Does he give you the oral sex?

33:46🔗 Caller Yeah.

33:46🔗 Adam And how's he at that?

33:49🔗 Caller I've come a couple of times with him. Like, I just need to get used to him, you know? Like, you can't fall asleep next to somebody unless you've been with him for a while. That's how I am with him.

33:59🔗 Adam I could fall asleep in a drunk tank at a prison next to a gay hobo. Are you kidding, Gene?

34:06🔗 Drew What is it you're asking, then?

34:08🔗 Adam He gave you a couple orgasms with the oral sex, right?

34:11🔗 Caller Just recently, after I told him.

34:15🔗 Patricia Arquette So maybe he's trying a little different stuff.

34:18🔗 Caller I think it might be emphasizing too much and it's going to make it sour.

34:23🔗 Patricia Arquette So what do you mean he won't touch you if he gave you oral sex after that? Do you mean he won't have intercourse with you anymore?

34:32🔗 Caller He tried and he just went away.

34:35🔗 Drew Oh, I see. He's getting too nervous or angry.

34:38🔗 Patricia Arquette His feelings are hurt.

34:41🔗 Caller I mean, before he...

34:42🔗 Drew He's deflated as they say.

34:43🔗 Caller He has with his recent girlfriend for three years and he hasn't been with her in a year, or his ex-girlfriend, I'm sorry. I kind of understood a couple of times who orgasm and became quicker. I can't explain it to him, but it seems like no matter what I do or say to him, I'm always making him feel horrible.

35:05🔗 Drew Do you say it, or do you always choose to talk to him when you're in the bedroom having sex?

35:10🔗 Caller No.

35:12🔗 Patricia Arquette And do you talk like, tell him how sexy he is when you are kissing?

35:18🔗 Caller I tell him it feels good. It doesn't, you know, it doesn't feel any less. And he even told me one night that he doesn't even, well, you know, he'd rather have somebody else do the job or something like that.

35:29🔗 Drew Oh, this guy sounds like a, well.

35:31🔗 Adam Well, they seem like they're men for each other. Hey, Gene?

35:35🔗 Caller Yeah.

35:35🔗 Adam Why don't you tell them this? You know, you've said some things, I've said some things, there's been some water under the bridge here. Let's just take it from here. Let's make a new rule, no more talking about, here's what I used to do or here's who used to get me off and all that. I used to be wetter when I was with Jim, but now I got you and of course your penis is smaller, so you don't satisfy me as much. Just, you both have heard each other out, no more talk about that. Let's just have a glass of red wine and get busy and see if we can't get a good one. Sometimes you just need a good one under your belt. You know what I'm saying? I mean you can talk all you want, but sometimes you just need to get up there and whack a ball off the right field wall.

36:21🔗 Drew That's right. You're in a slump, you got to connect with that ball.

36:25🔗 Adam You can watch films, you can talk to your coach, you can do all that crap, but you just need, sometimes you just need some good contact, a little less talk and a little more contact.

36:33🔗 Drew Complete a couple of passes.

36:34🔗 Adam Get that bat out, rub that pine tar on it, man, and just go to town on that mitt. Let's say hi. Go to break. Yeah, you want to go to break?

36:43🔗 Drew Yeah.

36:43🔗 Adam Okay. Patricia Arquette is our guest tonight. She's against AIDS and also taking a controversial stance against racism as well and landmines.

36:56🔗 Caller That's right.

36:57🔗 Patricia Arquette Bring it on.

36:59🔗 Drew I'm a rapist.

37:01🔗 Adam I'm against you. I'm guessing not for rape either.

37:04🔗 Caller No, I'm not for rape.

37:05🔗 Adam She has some crazy radical views.

37:08🔗 Drew She may be against fruit in the middle.

37:11🔗 Patricia Arquette Actually, I am for a blended fruit yogurt.

37:13🔗 Adam She's for it. All right, but if you're going to take fruit and put it at the bottom, let's move it up to the middle where I can get a nice start.

37:20🔗 Patricia Arquette I am for the heated couch.

37:21🔗 Adam The heated couch.

37:22🔗 Patricia Arquette And I am for the panty lines.

37:24🔗 Adam Jeans with the panty lines sewn in.

37:26🔗 Patricia Arquette Give it a thumbs up.

37:27🔗 Adam Now, here's the thing, you got some capital too. And I'm just saying, that's all I need to get started.

37:32🔗 Patricia Arquette Oh, yeah. You can print that.

37:34🔗 Caller Well, we'll get going.

37:35🔗 Adam All right, we'll take a little break. We'll be right back.

38:10🔗 Hi, this is David Arquette, and you're listening to Love Line with Adam Carrera and Dr. Drew.

38:15🔗 Patricia Arquette Hooray!

38:16🔗 Adam It's ironic that we're talking about Porsches, and David Arquette just called me Adam Carrera. I wouldn't be a bad porn name.

38:24🔗 Patricia Arquette No.

38:25🔗 Adam Patricia Arquette is our guest tonight. She is here to talk about the ill of landmines and how that people should call the White House. Should we call Bush's direct line or just call the lobby?

38:40🔗 Patricia Arquette Yeah, we'll just call the lobby. Well, um...

38:42🔗 Adam Tell them we're against landmines.

38:45🔗 Patricia Arquette And AIDS and everything in between.

38:48🔗 Adam And AIDS and rape and racism.

38:50🔗 Patricia Arquette Exactly.

38:51🔗 Adam We're for the heated sofa.

38:52🔗 Patricia Arquette And panty lines.

38:54🔗 Adam And panty lines sewn into cheese.

38:56🔗 Patricia Arquette The number for the White House is area code 202-456-1414.

39:02🔗 Adam Oh, Drew, how pissed would you be if she read your home number out on the air? You know what I mean? I mean, I'm guessing he doesn't... The Bushes won't answer though, right? They probably have like a person or two between them and the...

39:13🔗 Drew Yeah, they have to run Get Mrs. Bush first.

39:15🔗 Patricia Arquette And the reason I'm giving you guys that number is today and tomorrow and the next day, you should just call in and say that you want to support banning landmines.

39:26🔗 Adam It would seem like we've moved past that from a military standpoint. I mean, they're just getting folks on foot.

39:33🔗 Drew Hey, if Schwarzkopf says it's so, it's so, right?

39:35🔗 Adam Yeah. I mean, I'm sure Schwarzkopf wants to keep the ones that will take out, you know, half tracks and tanks and things like that.

39:42🔗 Patricia Arquette No, even those guys, you can read their letter. They were even... Oh, yeah, yeah.

39:45🔗 Adam They want to take out the big armory, big tanks and things. But getting foot soldiers... You've got to look at it this way, pardon the pun, but bang for your buck. It takes money, it takes resources, it takes time to lay something down. And if you're going to get every fifth guy who walks by and take his foot off, it just doesn't seem like a high return.

40:07🔗 Patricia Arquette Plus, there's like rules of war. You know, I know that sounds crazy, but there are rules of war. And land mines are used as terrorist devices. Oh, should we go over there? No, we don't want to. Okay, we want all our troops to go this way, so we're going to mine this area so people don't go in it.

40:20🔗 Adam Right.

40:21🔗 Patricia Arquette But those things don't detonate, those things don't stop killing. So that terrorism continues going on and on for decades.

40:29🔗 Adam It's an interesting thought that I never had, which is you could probably easily design one that would just have a three-year life, that it would only take one component of it to sort of fizzle out so that the thing would not be used.

40:44🔗 Patricia Arquette Well, they've made something similar to that, but the problem with that is it's very expensive and only rich countries can do that. And it's like if the US says, oh, these are the only kind of landmines we can use, these poor countries are going to go, well, screw you, we can't afford to make those. We have to ban all of these and it's even ground for all of us.

41:01🔗 Adam It would just seem like, it would just seem like it wouldn't be that much to come up with something that would be rendered useless after a few years. I mean, it just, it seems like just almost the material that you would use that would decompose or something. Dana?

41:16🔗 Caller Yeah.

41:16🔗 Adam You're 27?

41:17🔗 Caller Hey, yeah, how are you doing?

41:19🔗 Adam What's up?

41:20🔗 Caller Well, I think you both, I just want to tell you that you both work very well together and I don't know if Drew will want to hear that, but...

41:28🔗 Adam Sure. I'm his meal ticket. He loves to hear that.

41:31🔗 Caller Oh, that's cool. Yeah, you are, you know.

41:32🔗 Adam Yeah.

41:33🔗 Caller But, you know, Drew is valuable as well.

41:35🔗 Adam Sure, around the house.

41:36🔗 Caller Anyway, Patricia, you're beautiful and I've just enjoyed seeing you in so many films and I'm actually calling because I recently got back from a honeymoon, oddly enough, in Vietnam and Cambodia and Laos and I just pretty much wanted to back you up and tell you that the presence there of landmines and injuries and obviously death is widespread. And, you know, you walk around, in Cambodia especially, and there's amputees like all over the place.

42:15🔗 Adam How did, just out of curiosity, how did the old lady or the missus take it when you told her we were going on a holiday to Cambodia, as the song would go? I mean, that must have been a tough sell. Well, a honeymoon to Cambodia?

42:31🔗 Caller For her idea.

42:33🔗 Drew Vietnam has some of the greatest resorts in the world right now.

42:35🔗 Caller She's an adventure woman.

42:38🔗 Adam She's still a tough sell for most gals.

42:40🔗 Drew But whose landmines were they? The Khmer Rouge or something? I mean, who put...

42:44🔗 Caller Well, in Vietnam, it's mostly American.

42:47🔗 Drew You said it was mostly Cambodia, though, where you saw a lot of this.

42:50🔗 Caller Well, most... Yeah, Cambodia...

42:52🔗 Drew And that was Khmer Rouge?

42:54🔗 Caller Yeah, I think so. Khmer Rouge. And the Vietnamese... I'm sorry, the Americans, when they did bomb Cambodia pretty badly, I guess. I mean, it happened before I was born. But on the sort of east border of Cambodia, which is the border between that and Vietnam. So I think they were really only more in just a smaller part of Cambodia.

43:18🔗 Drew No, wait, wait, wait. Maybe you don't... Did you study the history of what went on in Cambodia?

43:21🔗 Caller Oh, yeah, yeah.

43:22🔗 Drew Okay. So you know that millions of people were killed by this.

43:25🔗 Caller Yeah, I went to the killing field.

43:26🔗 Drew Right.

43:26🔗 Adam So why did you... in Laos too, why did you go over there?

43:33🔗 Caller Well, we wanted to tour through Southeast Asia, and it just sort of spread. I mean, I went to Bali last year. That's where I wanted to go. We kind of decided to sort of do the Pacific Rim thing. And, you know, so we went to China.

43:48🔗 Adam I rented that, by the way.

43:49🔗 Drew Oh, yeah, I knew it was coming.

43:50🔗 Adam I did. Well, wait a minute. I hate people like you, by the way. Why? I do, because I... Because you haven't gone? Because you know why I've been out of the country? Tijuana. I'm ten years older than you. I've never been anywhere. Yeah? I'm really angry at myself, but I like to turn it on you.

44:08🔗 Caller Well, no, I appreciate it.

44:10🔗 Patricia Arquette Well, thanks for calling and telling us that. Yeah.

44:12🔗 Adam So lots of one-legged folks out there, huh?

44:15🔗 Caller Yeah. And I'll tell you one more thing. We were there over September 11. We were actually in Vietnam. And that probably became the safest place for an American to be in the world. It started to feel that way. Because oddly enough, they just love Americans there. They really do. They've sort of forgiven us. But there you go.

44:35🔗 Drew Well, that's interesting.

44:36🔗 Patricia Arquette Well, and it's also, you know, you think about that. We were at war with Vietnam. We had planted all these land mines. We're still blowing people up. And now we're friends and they love us. And we don't want to blow their children up.

44:48🔗 Adam And one of the reasons they love us too is because we were right. I mean, the communist regime over there didn't turn out to be such a great kicks for John Q. Public. You know, what would we call it? Like Lim Q. Public or any good Vietnamese first name, Drew. And you think they work at all that way in different countries like in Germany, be like Gunter Q. Public. Do you know what I mean? Like in Sweden, be Hans Q. Public. I'd like to work this out one day because I know in England, you know, John Q. Public is Joe Bloggs.

45:21🔗 Drew Right.

45:22🔗 Adam Which is weird, but everyone's got to have their own John Doe.

45:25🔗 Drew Yes, in each country.

45:26🔗 Adam And it ain't our John Doe. You think about it, every country needs a John Doe.

45:30🔗 Drew It would have to be Mr. Singh in India.

45:32🔗 Patricia Arquette Oh, yeah, sure.

45:33🔗 Drew And in France it would be.

45:35🔗 Patricia Arquette Like I said, I thought of something else I'm against. Sign languages in each different country have their own sign language. I think there should be one world sign language.

45:44🔗 Drew How about just one of alphabet?

45:46🔗 Patricia Arquette Yeah, that would help too. But if everyone learned the sign language of the whole world, we could all talk to each other.

45:51🔗 Adam Hey, what can you, could you do that? But then how? Yeah. But if you got a different language in your country, would that work out?

45:58🔗 Patricia Arquette Yeah. If we learned one, made one common sign language.

46:01🔗 Drew But the grammar is different and it's completely different.

46:04🔗 Patricia Arquette That's true. The grammar would be different.

46:05🔗 Adam But still the jeans with the panty lines sewn in would work.

46:08🔗 Patricia Arquette Would work all over the world.

46:10🔗 Adam That is a universal language. Everyone likes to look at panty ass. We'll take ourselves a little break. Patricia Arquette is here. If we just got together, we could really come up with some ideas, me and you.

46:23🔗 Patricia Arquette I know.

46:24🔗 Adam We could go places. We could drive your car. We could really, really think.

46:27🔗 Patricia Arquette I could sit in your warm couch with my panty lines.

46:30🔗 Adam Heated couch. We'll take a break. We'll be back.

46:33🔗 Patricia Arquette Here it is.

46:34🔗 Caller Bottom line, it sucks being single today.

46:36🔗 Tons of lame people and no decent prospects.

46:41🔗 Caller 1-877-889-DATE.

46:47🔗 Loveline will be right back. So get your problems ready. Ready.

47:27🔗 Adam I'm packing it, will you?

47:30🔗 Patricia Arquette No, you're dangerous. Firebugs.

47:33🔗 Adam Hey, everybody. It's Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That's Dr. Drew.

47:38🔗 I'm against you.

47:39🔗 Drew Building furniture.

47:40🔗 Adam Patricia Arquette and Dr. Drew myself, in the American entrepreneurial spirit, just had a very interesting conversation about sofas. Patricia Arquette is here to say that landmines are a bad thing.

48:00🔗 Patricia Arquette Fishing for men.

48:01🔗 Adam And that gays and other groups are good, and that aids are bad.

48:07🔗 Patricia Arquette And that you're bad.

48:08🔗 Adam And I'm bad, but warm sofas are something we can all agree on. That's right. And when do these movies come out? They say Spike Jonze and this Billy Bob Thornton.

48:20🔗 Patricia Arquette Spike Jonze is not Spike Jonze. I mean, he produced it.

48:24🔗 Adam Oh, all right. Well, the Spike Jonze produced the movie.

48:26🔗 Patricia Arquette It's called Human Nature, that movie. It'll be out January, February, March, somewhere around there. And so will a Billy Bob Thornton movie called The Badge.

48:33🔗 Adam And this Billy Bob is really, I just saw him in that, I actually haven't seen the whole thing yet, but I got hold of that one where he's a barber, the man that wasn't there.

48:43🔗 Patricia Arquette Yeah, he's so good.

48:44🔗 Adam Very, very interesting actor. Yeah, turns out he's good. All right.

48:48🔗 Patricia Arquette I like him.

48:49🔗 Adam Let's, how is he as a guy? Did you work with him? He's so sweet. Did you do scenes with him?

48:53🔗 Patricia Arquette Oh yeah, we had, you know, the whole movie, it's sort of, he's this uptight cop and I am, he comes in to have to deal with my world because my partner gets killed and it's like this world of strippers, singers, transvestites and craziness. He's in over his head. So it's kind of a weird Southern, you know, crime drama with these weird twists in it.

49:15🔗 Adam Was Angelina around? Did you see her?

49:18🔗 Patricia Arquette No, she came actually a weekend that I wasn't there. Why wasn't I there? No, I think she came one weekend.

49:25🔗 Adam Do you know her?

49:26🔗 Patricia Arquette I've met her before. She's nice. I like her.

49:28🔗 Adam Yeah, she seems nutty yet nice.

49:31🔗 Patricia Arquette I just think she's really expressive about what she feels. She's not, you know, making a movie star, you know, vision for the world. She's sort of just being whoever she is. And there's something nice about that.

49:43🔗 Adam Yeah. Are they still kind of creepy in love?

49:46🔗 Patricia Arquette I don't know if it's creepy, but they are madly in love.

49:49🔗 Adam Oh, I hate that.

49:50🔗 Patricia Arquette Oh, come on. You'd be in love with her too, wouldn't you?

49:53🔗 Adam Of course, of course I would. But my, see, I've told this to Drew many times. My instincts would be just to, you know, have her step on a landmine and keep her at home, not bring her around with a vial of blood around her and show her off to the world. I'd hide her. If I had a prize like that, I'd just keep her just barefoot and naked and pregnant. I'd just, I'd just chain her to a radiator and just keep her at home.

50:15🔗 Patricia Arquette Well, she wouldn't stay long, though.

50:17🔗 Adam Well, if I chain her up.

50:17🔗 Patricia Arquette She'd hobble away.

50:18🔗 Adam No, I'd chain her up, chain her real good. She couldn't get away.

50:21🔗 Caller She would.

50:23🔗 Adam Fred?

50:23🔗 Patricia Arquette Didn't you see Tomb Raider? She'd escape.

50:27🔗 Adam Fred, you're 23.

50:28🔗 Caller Yeah.

50:29🔗 Caller Hey, Adam.

50:29🔗 Caller Hey, Dr. Ray.

50:30🔗 Caller Patricia. Adam, I've heard you say that you can't trust guys who worry about themselves too much. Right. And, Dr. Drew, I heard you say the same thing, that you hate talking to paranoid people because they just lose their reasoning capabilities after a point.

50:44🔗 Drew Well, true, true. Paranoia, yeah.

50:46🔗 Caller Yeah.

50:47🔗 Caller That being said, I'm aware that I've recently fallen into this category and I want to get out of it. I want to shake this paranoia, but I'm not able to do it, it seems like.

50:57🔗 Adam Well, give us an example of your paranoia, Fred.

50:59🔗 Caller Well, it's actually, it's not like about everything. It's just one specific incident. I actually called a couple of weeks ago and it was involving the menstruating woman and we were like grinding genitals, but there was no penetration.

51:12🔗 Caller With the clothes off.

51:14🔗 Caller With the clothes off and it went on for maybe like two minutes.

51:19🔗 Adam And you thought that maybe you'd gotten a venereal disease or hepatitis or something?

51:23🔗 Caller At this point, I was like, you know, I would take gonorrhea or whatever.

51:27🔗 Drew Oh, didn't you say you had some like blood on your fingernails or something?

51:30🔗 Caller No, no, no, it was just all it was was like just grinding.

51:34🔗 Drew But didn't you see you saw some blood somewhere or something?

51:36🔗 Caller Oh, no, I didn't see any. The lights were off. When I went to the bathroom, I didn't notice any blood on my fingernails.

51:40🔗 Drew Oh, I thought you said you'd seen some somewhere.

51:42🔗 Adam I thought there was something like that too.

51:44🔗 Drew So what is it? What is the menstruation you would figure in then?

51:47🔗 Caller Oh, because I was reading about like HIV and how blood could carry the...

51:51🔗 Drew Yeah, blood. The operant term, the noun there, is blood.

51:54🔗 Patricia Arquette Unless you had like a cut on your penis.

51:57🔗 Drew Yeah, but he wasn't even exposed to blood. No blood.

51:59🔗 Adam Well, she was menstruating.

52:00🔗 Drew Yeah, but no blood.

52:01🔗 Adam Is that not blood?

52:02🔗 Caller No, but she was menstruating, though.

52:04🔗 Patricia Arquette But it wasn't coming out? Did she have a tampon inside her? I don't understand.

52:07🔗 Drew Yeah, the blood didn't get on you.

52:08🔗 Adam Hold on. Heated tampons.

52:10🔗 Caller Ooh.

52:12🔗 Adam Should have a little electrode up to the... And a little 9-volt battery up to the strap.

52:15🔗 Patricia Arquette No, no, no. I'm against this.

52:17🔗 Caller Against?

52:18🔗 Adam I find that relaxing.

52:19🔗 Patricia Arquette You're grounded.

52:20🔗 Adam I would wear a heated tampon. Cold enough weather? Why not?

52:25🔗 Drew Hey, Fred? There was no blood.

52:26🔗 Adam What do you mean no blood? She was menstruating.

52:28🔗 Drew She was menstruating, but it didn't touch him.

52:30🔗 Caller Oh, well, her vagina touched him. I mean, I'm not aware.

52:33🔗 Drew He said no blood.

52:34🔗 Patricia Arquette Well, just because you're menstruating doesn't mean there's a lot of blood coming out. Maybe it was later in her cycle or maybe it was just a little...

52:42🔗 Caller That's true. I mean, that's the reason why I feel I'm paranoid.

52:44🔗 Adam Hold on. Hold on, paranoid Fred. Is it only disease-related things that make you paranoid? Is it blood or is it woman-related things?

52:51🔗 Patricia Arquette Well, how well do you know her?

52:53🔗 Caller Well, I didn't know her at all. That was one of the reasons why I was so paranoid.

52:56🔗 Patricia Arquette Well, do you know her now still?

52:58🔗 Caller No, actually that kind of made me more paranoid because I tried to contact her, but basically I freaked the hell out of it.

53:03🔗 Drew If this caused the transmission of HIV or hepatitis, you would be on the front of every medical journal I know of.

53:10🔗 Caller Yeah, and that's exactly what you told me last time. And Adam, you went on your whole tirade afterwards about how the whole AIDS scare did everyone a disturbance in the long run.

53:20🔗 Adam Yeah.

53:20🔗 Caller And I totally agreed with that, and I was worried about it.

53:24🔗 Caller I mean, as far as heterosexuals go.

53:26🔗 Adam Yeah, okay, listen there. Fred, I don't want to talk about menstruation and contact with blood. I want to talk about your paranoia.

53:34🔗 Drew Yeah, it's not paranoia.

53:35🔗 Adam Okay, whatever it is you claim to have, does it have emotional thinking? Does it involve germs mainly and diseases?

53:43🔗 Caller Well, actually, to this point, I think I didn't have any obsession or paranoia, but after this incident, it's really like paralyzed.

53:50🔗 Drew So, you're not a handwasher, you're not somebody super kind.

53:52🔗 Caller No, to this point, I've been fine, but after this incident, for like a whole month, I've been paralyzed. Like, I can't function.

53:58🔗 Drew Do you smoke a lot of pot?

54:00🔗 Caller I've experimented before, but hardly.

54:02🔗 Drew No, you don't use any drugs or anything?

54:04🔗 Caller No, I'm pretty straight, clean guy.

54:06🔗 Adam All right. All right. So, you have these impulses. You know they're irrational. You're a sane person. Move on. All right. Thank you.

54:15🔗 Drew If really, you're a little bit old for this to be coming on, but if this is obsessive compulsive disorder, it's something that is treatable, and you ought to look into that.

54:24🔗 Adam I wish I had some. All right. Let's talk to Mario, who's 20. Mario?

54:32🔗 Caller Hi.

54:32🔗 Adam What's up?

54:33🔗 Caller Adam, I think you're a great comic relief man.

54:36🔗 Patricia Arquette Thank you. Whatever.

54:37🔗 Adam Thank you.

54:38🔗 Caller Thank you. Sorry. My question is for, I guess, Dr. Drew. I want to know if there's any way I can safely reduce, if not completely eliminate, my sex drive.

54:55🔗 Drew Why are you worried about that?

54:56🔗 Caller Well, because I've made a decision to be celibate.

55:03🔗 Drew Why? How come?

55:04🔗 Caller Well, I know it was a big life decision, but I felt it was for the best. Why? Because my sexual appetite drives me miserable. Why? Well, because I don't really want to participate. I mean, I don't fare very well.

55:26🔗 Adam Let me ask this then. Why?

55:30🔗 Caller I don't know. It's just the way I am.

55:32🔗 Patricia Arquette What kind of people are you attracted to?

55:35🔗 Caller Women, very much. I know that. Just many kinds. I want the sexual element of my life taken out.

55:48🔗 Adam Are you a religious guy?

55:51🔗 Caller No, it has nothing to do with religion.

55:53🔗 Patricia Arquette Does it make you do negative behavior like for civil sex?

55:58🔗 Caller I don't act out. It's just misery.

56:01🔗 Drew Why? Where has sex hurt you in the past?

56:04🔗 Caller Actually, I don't have any sexual past.

56:06🔗 Adam You've never gotten laid?

56:08🔗 Caller No.

56:09🔗 Adam Well, that's why. I mean, of course, you want all the... Because then you could just... You could just no longer want it because it wouldn't be an option. I mean, you couldn't fail at something you weren't attempting to do.

56:25🔗 Drew Didn't want to do.

56:25🔗 Patricia Arquette Could you masturbate?

56:27🔗 Adam Well, yeah, but... Yeah? Would you keep that going?

56:34🔗 Caller Well, I hope not. The thing is, I don't want to... You know, I like masturbation. I like porn. The thing is, I don't want to desire those things anymore.

56:44🔗 Adam Too full of guilty?

56:45🔗 Caller Because I want to focus on my life. I mean, those... In the past, those have been a distraction.

56:52🔗 Adam What would you focus on?

56:53🔗 Caller My studies.

56:55🔗 Adam My school. What do you study?

56:57🔗 Caller Business management.

57:00🔗 Drew What makes life meaningful for you?

57:02🔗 Caller No, no, no. Just studying and just, you know, focusing, you know, working on a career and all that.

57:11🔗 Adam Yeah. You're in junior college?

57:13🔗 Caller No. No, I'm in the... No.

57:16🔗 Adam All right. I'll give you that.

57:18🔗 Caller You know, I've already accepted the fact that I'll never have children. I'll never marry. I'll never have any relationships.

57:22🔗 Drew Why is that?

57:23🔗 Patricia Arquette You're only 20 years old. Why are you making that decision?

57:28🔗 Caller Because I feel it's me. And honestly, you keep asking why. I think I will be a lot more happier because I'll be... I want to make something clear. I'm not against friendship. I'm not. I intend. I respect women.

57:42🔗 Patricia Arquette I don't think we thought you were against friendship.

57:44🔗 Caller A lot of... Hold on.

57:46🔗 Patricia Arquette I'm not against friendship either.

57:48🔗 Adam There's a lot of controversial stances being taken today. A lot of things people are saying that they're going to have to answer for later on.

57:54🔗 Drew I'm for friendship.

57:56🔗 Adam That's the kind of thing that could be thrown back in your face. You be careful what you say on the air. I've been burned a few times too.

58:01🔗 Drew Being for friendships?

58:03🔗 Adam For friendships, against AIDS, against rape, against discrimination. I think rape is a good thing. Against discrimination. Hey, you said that. It was totally out of context. I think rape is a good thing. Out of context. Out of context.

58:18🔗 Caller I want to have friendships.

58:20🔗 Adam You're for friendships. Against... What about landmines? Against landmines?

58:24🔗 Caller Yes, ma'am.

58:25🔗 Adam All right.

58:25🔗 Caller Thank you. Okay.

58:27🔗 Adam Hey, Mario?

58:28🔗 Caller Yes?

58:28🔗 Adam This is a hair-brained scheme. And you feel like your penis is cursed. I've been there myself. Mine still has a bit of a hex on it. It's only now that I've had some minor B-slash-C celebrity have I been able to overcome this Corolla handicap with the cursed genitalia.

58:47🔗 Drew But I'm concerned there may be something more substantial going on.

58:50🔗 Adam Whatever it is, you closing up shop is not the way to go. Do you understand?

58:58🔗 Drew It's an unhealthy way to go.

58:59🔗 Adam It is an avoidance. It's no way to approach life. And it's no way to approach business, by the way, either. This is like if your car had rust on it, you would just paint over the rust so you didn't have to look at it. It doesn't go away.

59:16🔗 Drew I hate cars. I'm never going to drive a car again.

59:18🔗 Caller I still want to have compassion for people. I still want to have, you know, I want to keep the compassion.

59:23🔗 Drew Yeah, but you don't want intimacy. That's a very, that is a necessary ingredient for human happiness. And it suggests that something very serious happened to you in terms of your ability to form attachments or your experience of intimacy in the past. And there may be even something more biological going on with you. This needs to be looked into. It's a rather serious set of symptoms.

59:46🔗 Adam He's going to a college. Just go to the human resources or help and be with the mental health services service and talk to them. But don't don't drop out and shut down.

59:56🔗 Drew It scares me he's going to do something weird, like eventually get more obsessive, try to cut his penis off. That's right.

1:00:01🔗 Patricia Arquette Oh, no, gosh, please. No, please don't do that.

1:00:04🔗 Adam Landline got Drew's penis. Sarah. It's a long time ago. Oh, they do have those bouncing bettys. I mean, those things pop up and go off in your pride.

1:00:13🔗 Oh, yeah.

1:00:14🔗 Adam Bad times. Sarah.

1:00:16🔗 Hi.

1:00:16🔗 Adam You're 18. What's up?

1:00:18🔗 Caller I keep on having one night stands. And I don't, I mean, I know it's not healthy, but.

1:00:24🔗 Drew Is it what you want to be doing?

1:00:27🔗 Caller Um, I don't, I don't know, but.

1:00:31🔗 Drew You're concerned about it?

1:00:33🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:00:33🔗 Adam How many have you had?

1:00:35🔗 Caller Four.

1:00:36🔗 Adam In what period of time?

1:00:37🔗 Caller Uh, three years, two years.

1:00:42🔗 Adam Three years, two years, four, and three years, two or three years?

1:00:45🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:00:46🔗 Adam That doesn't seem like a ton.

1:00:48🔗 Caller I've never had a boyfriend.

1:00:50🔗 Drew Why don't you get a boyfriend?

1:00:53🔗 Caller It's not that easy.

1:00:54🔗 Drew Well, come.

1:00:54🔗 Adam What about we set you up with a weirdo Mario who just hung out?

1:00:57🔗 Caller No, no, no. I know, like every person, like, my, the first guy I kissed was the guy I lost in Virginia to and it was all in the same night.

1:01:06🔗 Drew How long ago was that?

1:01:07🔗 Caller Um, two, I, god, I don't remember, like, two or three years ago.

1:01:11🔗 Adam Where's your dad?

1:01:13🔗 Caller He's part of my family. Like, my parents were together until my mom passed away.

1:01:18🔗 Caller Oh, there we go.

1:01:19🔗 Adam When did that happen?

1:01:22🔗 Caller Um, two years ago.

1:01:23🔗 Adam What happened?

1:01:24🔗 Drew Well, that's when you started The One Night Stands, coincidentally.

1:01:27🔗 Adam What happened?

1:01:28🔗 Caller She had cancer.

1:01:29🔗 Adam Oh, boy.

1:01:30🔗 Patricia Arquette My mom too.

1:01:34🔗 Adam You love your dad?

1:01:37🔗 Caller As much as I can.

1:01:38🔗 Drew No, I think this is more of a reaction.

1:01:39🔗 Adam Oh, wait a minute. That's interesting.

1:01:40🔗 Drew As much as I can.

1:01:41🔗 Adam What do you mean, as much as you can?

1:01:43🔗 Caller We, well, after she passed away, our relationship changed a lot.

1:01:47🔗 Drew Why?

1:01:48🔗 Caller Um, because I don't think he knew how to be a father.

1:01:51🔗 Drew Well, without her around?

1:01:52🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:01:53🔗 Adam But before that, he was good?

1:01:55🔗 Caller Well, because it was always like he could take the fun side of things. My mom could do the serious part of it.

1:02:00🔗 Adam All right, but he was good before that?

1:02:03🔗 Caller Yeah, I guess.

1:02:04🔗 Adam It's a point of endorsement.

1:02:05🔗 Drew Wow. I hope he's really angry with him for some reason.

1:02:08🔗 Caller Well, I mean, I have issues with him now because...

1:02:10🔗 Adam No, no, I'm not talking about... Stop talking about... I keep saying before that.

1:02:13🔗 Drew Because he what? I want to hear this. Because why?

1:02:15🔗 Caller He, like, not even six months after she died, he started dating a doctor that treated her.

1:02:23🔗 Patricia Arquette Ooh, that's sick.

1:02:25🔗 Caller So that's why I have issues.

1:02:27🔗 Drew Yeah, she's just mad at that. That's fine.

1:02:30🔗 Adam She's not letting go of this. Before that, he was okay?

1:02:33🔗 Patricia Arquette Yeah.

1:02:33🔗 Adam Okay. It takes so long to get to everything on this goddamn show.

1:02:36🔗 Drew Because she's so angry that she can't even...

1:02:38🔗 Patricia Arquette But it's like maybe your mom would be okay with that. No.

1:02:42🔗 Caller No, my mom, like, my mom changed her safe deposit box keys to my brother and I so that he wouldn't have access to her personal belongings after she died.

1:02:52🔗 Drew Why?

1:02:53🔗 Caller So that, like, she was like, you know, if he ever gets a new woman, I don't want her having my stuff. You guys are going to have this and you're going to make a trouble.

1:02:59🔗 Patricia Arquette Okay, you're ready to, now, do you go to therapy?

1:03:01🔗 Drew Wait, wait, wait a minute, wait a minute. It's normal for her to say something like, I want my children to have these things. Your father may get, you know, have someone else he's with. I don't want her in her hands. I want you to own these things. That's different than, hey, that dirt scum ball father of yours is going to get another woman. That's not what she said, was it? This is your feelings about it now that he's a scum ball because it's only been six months and you're grieving and you're in pain and he's going out with someone with bad boundaries, who's not such a good person herself.

1:03:31🔗 Adam Apparently not a great doctor either. She was also on a post-traumatic.

1:03:36🔗 Caller This was when she was on her medications through hospice and so, I mean, she was rather blunt about everything she said.

1:03:43🔗 Drew Okay.

1:03:44🔗 Adam Well, hey, Sarah?

1:03:45🔗 Patricia Arquette Do you go to therapy?

1:03:47🔗 Caller I did in high school. I haven't.

1:03:49🔗 Adam Why in high school?

1:03:50🔗 Caller Well, I had a really good high school counselor.

1:03:53🔗 Drew You just wanted to.

1:03:54🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:03:54🔗 Patricia Arquette Maybe you should talk to your dad about doing that and saying, you know, I'm really grieving over my mom still and I have a lot of stuff I got to deal with and I need to go to therapy.

1:04:03🔗 Adam And she's 18 years old. She's been through a whole bunch in the last few years. She's got tons of feelings. She's angry.

1:04:10🔗 Drew She's angry at men and she's trying to manage these feelings. And sex is one way to try to get away from feeling.

1:04:16🔗 Patricia Arquette And also feel comfort. To feel touched. To feel loved for a moment, you know. And also your daddy's grieving too.

1:04:25🔗 Drew He may be a scumbag.

1:04:26🔗 Adam That's a different way of showing it. He humps his doctor friend. But here's the thing. It's all right to not be in a relationship at this stage with all these feelings. And you're young and all this stuff. And some people start at different times. And 18 may sound old to you because all the peers you hang out with and they've had a few boyfriends by now. But, you know, Drew, looking back on it, like, look at all the people you know, like I work in an office with a bunch of guys and there were guys who got laid all through high school and there are guys who didn't get an ounce of trim until college and there are guys who didn't get anything until they're in their 20s. And, you know, everyone kind of had a different cadence and started a different time. And Drew, I know you started at about 11, but because he's a passionate, passionate man. But now you look back on it, it doesn't seem to make any difference, does it? It just seems like part of life. There were the guys you knew and the girls you knew who were very active, who seemed to be completely adapted socially and, you know, bell the ball and all that. And then the people found it later in life that everyone's married. Everyone's happy. Everyone's fine. You know, well, maybe not happy, but they're married. Right. My point is, is don't make so much out of it when you're in the middle of it.

1:05:34🔗 Drew That's right.

1:05:35🔗 Adam Thank you. And, and AIDS is bad. Mona?

1:05:40🔗 Yeah?

1:05:40🔗 Adam You're 21?

1:05:42🔗 Caller Yes.

1:05:42🔗 Adam What's up?

1:05:43🔗 Caller Um, okay, I'm trying to lose some weight. And in the past about two and a half weeks, I've, I've been exercising. Um, and I've noticed, you know, some parts of my body, my arms, my legs, well, you know, a little bit toner, a little bit firmer. But my stomach, which I've actually been trying to focus on, seems bigger.

1:06:04🔗 Drew Well, one thing that exercise does is it increases your appetite. So maybe you're gaining some weight.

1:06:08🔗 Caller I haven't, I mean, I haven't changed my diet at all. I mean, I've been, you know, I've been eating, at least for the past six months, a pretty, you know, healthy diet.

1:06:19🔗 Drew Were you losing weight on that diet?

1:06:21🔗 Caller Uh, slowly. Like in five months, I lost about 12 pounds, so slowly.

1:06:26🔗 Adam Might you be pregnant?

1:06:28🔗 Caller No.

1:06:28🔗 Drew Where'd you come up with this diet?

1:06:31🔗 Caller Um, you mean like what I eat or exercise? Yeah.

1:06:34🔗 Drew Diet.

1:06:35🔗 Caller Diet? Well, my dad's a nutritionist, so, you know, he's, you know, around the house and...

1:06:41🔗 Adam There's straight nutritionists now?

1:06:43🔗 Drew He set up a dietary plan for you.

1:06:45🔗 Caller He didn't set up a dietary plan for me, but I eat, I mean, I have a good idea of what's good for you, what to eat. My brother's a health nut, so, you know.

1:06:53🔗 Drew Yeah, but again, you've been...

1:06:54🔗 Patricia Arquette Okay, like how much bigger is your stomach now than when you started? Like two inches?

1:07:00🔗 Caller I have a pair of jeans that used to be pretty loose. Now they're just like a little bit loose, so maybe, you know, like an inch and a half or so.

1:07:08🔗 Patricia Arquette Maybe your muscles are just changing shape. Maybe it might take a little while for them to calm down.

1:07:14🔗 Adam Maybe you're gassy.

1:07:16🔗 Caller Oh, gosh.

1:07:17🔗 Adam It's possible.

1:07:18🔗 Caller Stop it.

1:07:19🔗 Adam I don't know. Hey, listen, your dad's a nutritionist. Ask him. What do we know? You know, I was thinking about pants today. You know, you know, my problem is.

1:07:27🔗 Drew He did.

1:07:28🔗 Adam You know, I've worn. Here's here's my problem, quite, quite frankly. I got a couple of things to say. Number one, I was thinking I got all I can't I am so lazy. I can no longer wear jeans anymore because I find them too confined and uncomfortable. You know what I mean?

1:07:43🔗 Patricia Arquette That's why he's trying to X them out of the future.

1:07:45🔗 Adam You know, you're getting old when you just you want to hop into that old guy jumpsuit. Yeah. But you're in your thirties. But all I wear is like sweatpants and stuff. And here's my problem. I've been a 34 waist for like the last 10 years. And the problem is, is I'm really probably a 34 and a half or a good 35.

1:08:06🔗 Drew You ain't going there.

1:08:07🔗 Adam I will not go up. I will not go up to the next side. So what I do is I buy pants that are 34, 34. They're uncomfortable because they're a little tight around the waist. You won't wear them.

1:08:16🔗 Caller So I won't wear them.

1:08:18🔗 Adam So I have 300 pair of jeans in my closet and I wear the same pair of sweatpants everywhere because I can't emotionally go up and the problem is is I could probably emotionally handle the 35s but they come 36 is the next one and that's too much. Yeah and it now here's something guys have to deal with too when the waist gets bigger than the length. That's tough emotionally too.

1:08:42🔗 Drew It's more bizarre than to me. The length I went up on the waist thing. Legs shorten 4 inches.

1:08:50🔗 Adam Your legs have shortened?

1:08:51🔗 Drew What is that?

1:08:52🔗 Patricia Arquette The pants.

1:08:52🔗 Adam What do you wear Drew? What are your pants?

1:08:55🔗 Drew I was always a 33, 33, like a 33, 34, a 34, 33 that worked too. Now it's like 35, 35 and a half, 32.

1:09:07🔗 Patricia Arquette Oh, so your legs got shorter.

1:09:08🔗 What is that?

1:09:09🔗 Adam All right, but I'll feel much better getting a pair of 36, 34s if I know you're over. Yeah, I mean, I felt bad going past, you know.

1:09:18🔗 Drew Remember those jeans they gave us for free? Yeah. They brought a 36, 32 for me. I went, oh, this is way off. I'm not even going to try these on.

1:09:25🔗 Adam Perfect. That's the part.

1:09:26🔗 Drew I went and said, that's what I capitulated right there. I said, that's it.

1:09:29🔗 Adam Yeah, and it just keeps going. I mean, do the math. When you're 70, you'll be wearing a 52, 19.

1:09:35🔗 Caller Right?

1:09:36🔗 Adam It just keeps getting shorter and your belly keeps getting bigger.

1:09:39🔗 Caller All right.

1:09:39🔗 Adam We'll take ourselves a little break. One other thing I want to say, I don't know why it popped into my head, but we're talking about, Patricia was talking about AIDS and talking about black males being one of the fastest growing communities of AIDS, and a lot of that going on in Africa, and Africa being out of control with the AIDS situation. Drew, I mentioned this to you before, but it just cracked me up. I saw this report on 60 Minutes, 6 or 8 months ago, where they were talking about the out of control rapes that are going on in Africa, and how it's just all over the place, and AIDS is being spread, and women are being raped like crazy in South Africa especially. They went to, and this is what I love about 60 Minutes, whenever they go to the, they show all the raping going on and the people living in squalor and everything, and then they go to the polo match to be with the elite, a couple of generals and the prince and these people, these folks, and they say to them, they say, are you aware of what's going on basically in your country or your community? And the guy had a great answer. So it was a cocktail party. It was during the day. Everyone's wearing party dresses and eating ladyfingers. And the guy goes, rape? What rape? This is overstated. Look around. Look around. Do you see anyone being raped? Like I said, a party at a mansion, there's like 35 people wearing chiffon dresses and, you know, a chamber orchestra playing. No, you don't see any rape. And he like says to like one of his seconds in command, do you see any rape? No, I see no rape.

1:11:13🔗 Caller No, there's no rape.

1:11:14🔗 Adam What are you talking about? Look around. And I thought, wow, that was a great answer.

1:11:19🔗 Caller Look around.

1:11:20🔗 Adam Do you see anyone being raped?

1:11:22🔗 Caller We got to be raped!

1:11:24🔗 Caller It was in a tea social.

1:11:27🔗 Adam Of course. Look, there's nothing. All right. We'll take ourselves a little break. We'll be back with Patricia Arquette after this.

1:11:35🔗 Caller Here it is.

1:11:36🔗 Caller Bottom line, it sucks being single today.

1:11:38🔗 Caller Tons of lame people and no decent prospects.

1:11:41🔗 Caller Call the Dateline.

1:11:42🔗 Caller Call the Dateline. Call the Dateline.

1:11:43🔗 Caller 1-877-889-DATE.

1:11:49🔗 Caller Loveline will be right back. So get your problems ready. Ready.

1:12:20🔗 Caller Hey, I'm Ken Jordan.

1:12:22🔗 Caller And I'm Scott Kirkland.

1:12:23🔗 Caller And we are The Crystal Method. And you're listening to Loveline with Ace Rockolla and the brilliant Dr. Drew. Yes, you is.

1:12:30🔗 Adam Patricia Arquette is our guest tonight. She's against landmines. I was just looking through her filmography. Man, a lot of films.

1:12:41🔗 Patricia Arquette Yeah, I've been pretty lucky.

1:12:43🔗 Adam Yeah, I don't know.

1:12:45🔗 Patricia Arquette Unlucky, huh?

1:12:46🔗 Adam You don't know? No, I mean, not luck. It's talent.

1:12:49🔗 Patricia Arquette Oh, thanks.

1:12:50🔗 Adam Talent and having a famous family.

1:12:52🔗 Patricia Arquette Well, I really, you know, it's a tough business out there.

1:12:56🔗 Caller So I feel lucky.

1:12:57🔗 Yeah.

1:12:58🔗 Adam A lot of good movies here.

1:13:00🔗 Ed Wood.

1:13:01🔗 Adam That was one I really enjoyed. True Romance. That was great. I've never seen any of these movies.

1:13:08🔗 Patricia Arquette They're too scary for you. They're pretty dark.

1:13:10🔗 Drew I get bad dreams.

1:13:11🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:13:12🔗 Drew Let's see.

1:13:13🔗 Patricia Arquette Show them Stigmata.

1:13:14🔗 Adam Look at these.

1:13:15🔗 Patricia Arquette Scare them.

1:13:15🔗 Adam Yeah. Where the hell was we?

1:13:19🔗 Caller I want to make something clear. I'm not against friendship.

1:13:22🔗 Caller Oh, you better not be.

1:13:24🔗 Patricia Arquette I'll kick your butt.

1:13:26🔗 Adam Patricia, any attraction to me or Drew at all? Just trying to gauge you.

1:13:33🔗 Caller What's your type is?

1:13:34🔗 Drew That's her blow to the window.

1:13:35🔗 Patricia Arquette Red Flimstone song.

1:13:36🔗 Adam No. Nothing. Not even with the brilliant Da Vinci type mine with the fruit in the middle yogurt. She had so fun. Beer can with the pulled pampas on each side. I might be well fed.

1:13:47🔗 Patricia Arquette I have a lot of calcium.

1:13:48🔗 Drew She didn't hear about that.

1:13:49🔗 Adam I told her about it. I told her in the commercial, my shotgun beer can.

1:13:52🔗 Patricia Arquette He's been working this angle the whole time.

1:13:55🔗 Drew Just the heated sofa.

1:13:58🔗 Adam Have I mentioned the Belly Zamboni?

1:14:00🔗 Patricia Arquette No.

1:14:01🔗 Adam This is something. I won't get into that.

1:14:03🔗 Drew You may lose it with that one.

1:14:04🔗 Adam That's another breakthrough of mine. It's still in R&D. Oh, yes. Thank you, Anderson. Magnetizing change. Magnetic change.

1:14:15🔗 Patricia Arquette Yeah, I like it.

1:14:17🔗 Adam Nothing worse. You're wearing your sweatpants, you sit down in your car, you hear all that trinket wrinkle, a bunch of nickels and quarters falling, getting caught in the mechanism underneath the seat. Change floating around everywhere in the car, in the sofa pillows, the heated sofa pillows. How about a nice big ball of change? Just a magnetic ball of change.

1:14:35🔗 Drew How would you get it to go down with the slats?

1:14:37🔗 Patricia Arquette Or it would get used as weapons.

1:14:39🔗 Adam We make that out of the non-ferrous metal, and it won't conduct it.

1:14:44🔗 Patricia Arquette We can get rid of landmines and put chunks of pennies in the ground.

1:14:48🔗 Adam Magnetic change, a big ball of change. You just keep that ball, put it in the ashtray or car, no more digging around. How many deaths do you think loose change causes every year?

1:14:59🔗 Patricia Arquette Too many.

1:14:59🔗 Adam Way too many.

1:15:00🔗 Drew I'm against it.

1:15:01🔗 Adam Are you against it?

1:15:02🔗 Patricia Arquette I'm against loose change.

1:15:03🔗 Adam Magnetizing change. Rebecca? Yeah. My slogan would be, it's time for a change. And I underline change. Uh-huh. Yeah. These are all things.

1:15:14🔗 Drew No, are you ready for a change?

1:15:16🔗 Adam Are you ready for a change? When I run for office, these are, listen, I'm not going to be one of these goofballs up there talking about NAFTA and talking about missile defense and public housing. I'm talking about change, I'm talking about change, literally. I would love to just run on crazy stuff. No garbage will be picked up before 10 a.m. Your buns will be warmed. That's right. Other ideas, other ideas. I will give all the homeless cop uniforms, so it looks like we have a strong police presence, all the time.

1:15:49🔗 Drew A new system of measurement for smell.

1:15:53🔗 Patricia Arquette A smell-o-meter.

1:15:54🔗 Adam Hobo.

1:15:55🔗 Drew Hobo power.

1:15:55🔗 Adam Hobo power, I call it, so that we can quantify stink.

1:15:58🔗 Drew Senator Morris-Parrott, Hobo power.

1:15:59🔗 Adam Three, Hobo power. So many things to implement, so many. Lee?

1:16:05🔗 Yeah.

1:16:05🔗 Adam You're 26?

1:16:07🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:16:07🔗 Adam What's up?

1:16:09🔗 Caller Well, I have this problem I'm going through. I'm in a relationship with this female. She's a lovely female. She has like three kids.

1:16:18🔗 Adam You're lesbian then, are you?

1:16:20🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:16:20🔗 Adam All right. Let me pick the right name with that Lee. That's a lesbian name.

1:16:25🔗 Caller Yeah. And she wants me to come back home, but it's like a tug of war with my family. My sister, she's like really overprotective, but she's married. She has a baby and everything.

1:16:35🔗 Adam Well, let me get this straight. You have a relationship with a woman who has three kids.

1:16:39🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:16:39🔗 Drew Who you really like.

1:16:41🔗 Adam And do you live with her?

1:16:44🔗 Caller No. I don't live with my girlfriend.

1:16:46🔗 Drew You're a lesbian. Well, why is your family involved with this?

1:16:48🔗 Adam Who wants you to come back home?

1:16:50🔗 Caller My girlfriend.

1:16:51🔗 Drew Well, why is your family of origin involved with this at all?

1:16:54🔗 Caller Because they like the Christian-like people and stuff like that.

1:16:58🔗 Patricia Arquette So they don't want you to be a lesbian anymore?

1:17:00🔗 Caller Right. They want me to live a happy life with a man.

1:17:03🔗 Patricia Arquette If you're not with her, are you going to stop being a lesbian?

1:17:07🔗 Adam No.

1:17:07🔗 Caller I really want to marry this lady and I want to go back home and be with her, but it's so tough. You know, because I'm trying to be support to my family.

1:17:14🔗 Adam Well, hold on now. Here's the part I'm confused about. You don't live with the lesbian.

1:17:20🔗 Patricia Arquette But you used to.

1:17:22🔗 Caller No. We just live like around a corner from each other.

1:17:25🔗 Adam You live alone now.

1:17:26🔗 Caller No. I stay with my sister in Hawaii.

1:17:29🔗 Drew But your family lives back home somewhere?

1:17:33🔗 Caller Yeah. They live in Maryland.

1:17:34🔗 Patricia Arquette And so does the girlfriend.

1:17:36🔗 Caller Yes. She lives around a corner from my home.

1:17:38🔗 Drew So are you in Hawaii? They're trying to get you away from this girl?

1:17:41🔗 Caller Yeah. That's what I think. Every relationship I get into, my family is getting involved all the time. What are you?

1:17:47🔗 Drew You're 26, Lee.

1:17:48🔗 Caller I know I'm 26, but I don't look 26. I look like I'm 26.

1:17:51🔗 Drew Yeah, but you are 26.

1:17:53🔗 Caller Well, look.

1:17:53🔗 Patricia Arquette But you're going to be a lesbian. You just got to say, I'm going to be a lesbian no matter what. I'm going to keep being in lesbian relationships. And if you're going to love me, you're going to have to love me the way that I am.

1:18:05🔗 Adam Listen, hold on. Bill Gates looks like he's 14, but he still has $400 billion and runs an empire. It doesn't matter how old he looks. So he gets carted when he buys a six or once in a while. It doesn't matter. How old you look is sort of irrelevant here, Lee. It's how old you act that we're concerned about. And you're 26. You should be well on your way in your adult life. And you're.

1:18:28🔗 Caller Yeah, it's so crazy that I had to go get professional help like now. OK, but OK.

1:18:33🔗 Adam So are you sort of for lack of a better term, sort of drying out or chilling out in Hawaii?

1:18:39🔗 Caller Yeah, that's what it seems like.

1:18:41🔗 Adam OK. What about this friend of yours moving to Hawaii?

1:18:45🔗 Caller That seems like a nice place out of the question.

1:18:48🔗 Adam Three kids with her kids.

1:18:49🔗 Drew How old are the kids?

1:18:51🔗 Caller One is one and two is two.

1:18:54🔗 Patricia Arquette Anyway, the only reason you're even in Hawaii.

1:18:57🔗 Drew How long have you been with this woman?

1:18:59🔗 Caller For two years.

1:18:59🔗 Drew And she had a child with a man in the meantime?

1:19:02🔗 Caller Yeah, she had an ex-boyfriend when she met me, you know.

1:19:05🔗 Drew So this woman is full of chaos, right? Total, total chaos.

1:19:09🔗 Caller She means the world to me.

1:19:11🔗 Drew Yeah, but I understand that. But there's total meltdown chaos around her, right? And your family's concerned maybe more about that.

1:19:18🔗 Caller Yeah, they think that she's gonna break my heart and stuff like that.

1:19:21🔗 Adam Well, she had a kid when she was with you, didn't she?

1:19:25🔗 Drew Yes.

1:19:25🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:19:26🔗 Drew That's my point.

1:19:27🔗 Patricia Arquette So she cheated on you and got pregnant?

1:19:29🔗 Caller Well, she was pregnant first, and then when we was in a relationship for like a month or so, then she told me, you know.

1:19:34🔗 Patricia Arquette So she was pregnant when you met her?

1:19:36🔗 Caller Yeah. She didn't tell me.

1:19:38🔗 Adam You go down on her, you taste some scalp. It's bad times. Hi, Haley. Unacceptable. Okay. Here's the deal. Here's the advice I want to give you. Okay. First off, enjoy Hawaii. Okay. Secondly, forget about your parents and forget about this girl for now. Focus on you. You have some problems. You have to get your life going. You're 26 years old. You get so caught up in the distraction of this girl and her chaos and your parents and what they want for you that you don't actually look at yourself or do anything for yourself. And you got to focus on your career, your education, whatever it is, your mental health, whatever it is you need. If you need medication, if you need counseling, if you need career, if you need school, whatever you got to do, do that, focus on that, get that in order, and then let these things sort of sort themselves out.

1:20:30🔗 Drew I'm suspicious of the drug and alcohol thing here too. I wanted to...

1:20:34🔗 Adam Lee, drugs, alcohol?

1:20:36🔗 Caller No, I don't do drugs. I smoke weed. That's about it.

1:20:39🔗 Drew Every day?

1:20:41🔗 Caller No, not every day.

1:20:42🔗 Patricia Arquette Are you always just sitting around talking about your problems, what your girlfriend's doing, what your mom's doing, what your sister says?

1:20:48🔗 Drew Doing what, three months?

1:20:49🔗 Caller I've been clean for like three months from marijuana.

1:20:51🔗 Adam Okay, good.

1:20:52🔗 Drew Are you going to...

1:20:53🔗 Adam Yeah, look, everybody, your troubles will magically melt away if you get busy and start focusing on your ass. And that doesn't mean being selfish, and that doesn't mean working other people out of your life. It just means stop dancing in everyone else's ball. Stop being an extra in their movie. Right. Focus on your own project. Any other metaphors I can use here?

1:21:22🔗 Patricia Arquette I'm sure. Your turn.

1:21:26🔗 Adam Do not be an infant in their sandbox. You get your own sandbox, right?

1:21:32🔗 Drew Right.

1:21:32🔗 Adam Be a dandelion in your own lawn.

1:21:34🔗 Drew And be responsible for that sandbox.

1:21:36🔗 Adam Right. And don't pee in it. For Christ's sake. Rebecca?

1:21:41🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:21:41🔗 Adam You're 16?

1:21:42🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:21:43🔗 Caller What's up?

1:21:45🔗 I was dating this guy for like a year and a half. And in September, we were over at my house. And my parents said they were going to get home at 10. And it was about 9 o'clock. And we actually started having oral sex. My parents came home early.

1:22:00🔗 Caller I love these stories.

1:22:02🔗 Adam And they opened the door?

1:22:04🔗 Yeah.

1:22:04🔗 Drew Your room?

1:22:05🔗 Yeah.

1:22:06🔗 Adam Where was he? Who was on what?

1:22:10🔗 He was on the bottom. I was performing oral sex on him.

1:22:15🔗 Drew Oh, is your dad still in therapy?

1:22:17🔗 Adam No, he killed himself. Please, please tell me you guys were doing the 69 position.

1:22:23🔗 Yeah.

1:22:23🔗 Adam Oh. Drew, I've said this many times. I know people are listening. I think I'm kidding. Patricia, you're going to think I'm kidding. But Drew, when your beautiful young daughter gets a boyfriend, you are going to keep the cyanide pill in your cheek, in your cheek for when you come home early or late and open a door and see the window open and someone in a bizarre 69 position. No questions asked.

1:22:50🔗 Caller I'm not sure cyanide is good.

1:22:51🔗 Adam Just clamp down on it.

1:22:53🔗 Drew Now that I'm getting closer to that time, I'm not sure that's going to be quick enough.

1:22:56🔗 Adam Cyanide?

1:22:57🔗 Drew I need something like explodes.

1:22:59🔗 Adam You go down quick with the cyanide. You just keep it in there. Just chomp on it.

1:23:03🔗 Drew I can't have a Lamine or something.

1:23:05🔗 Adam Oh, oh. You making fun of Patricia?

1:23:08🔗 Drew No, you.

1:23:09🔗 Adam Okay. Sorry about it. It's okay. Give her a treat.

1:23:14🔗 Caller Oh, I love that.

1:23:16🔗 Adam Where is she? What line is she on? Line one? Yeah. 69. Seriously? Yeah. How is it? And by the way, how is it that you... Let's say they said they were going to be home at 10. And what time is it when you guys are knee deep in each other?

1:23:33🔗 Caller It's 9 o'clock.

1:23:34🔗 Adam 9 o'clock. See, to me, not enough padding that hour.

1:23:37🔗 Drew I'd still be like...

1:23:38🔗 Adam I'd still put a chair in front of the door.

1:23:39🔗 Drew Oh, I'd be like a radar detector.

1:23:41🔗 Adam I mean, just...

1:23:42🔗 Caller Well, see, he's really cautious and I'm really not. And so when we're over at my house, I'm... he trusts me because it's my house. It's kind of like a territory and I know what's going on. Whereas when we're at his house, you know, I trust him.

1:23:55🔗 Adam Let me ask you this. was there an element of this? It's a little bit of an F-U to pops or moms or a little bit?

1:24:02🔗 Drew Has to be. Oh, yes.

1:24:04🔗 Caller Has to be.

1:24:04🔗 Caller He never really liked him. He's two years older than me.

1:24:07🔗 Caller He's 18.

1:24:08🔗 Adam Yeah. But are you sort of resentful of your parents for trying to be too intrusive in your life or something?

1:24:15🔗 Caller No, I really have a really good relationship with my parents.

1:24:18🔗 Drew Why would you?

1:24:19🔗 Caller Why would you?

1:24:19🔗 Adam Why would you really risk this? I mean, just sort of being 16 and stupid.

1:24:25🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:24:25🔗 Adam Okay.

1:24:26🔗 Patricia Arquette Well, have you talked to them about it? Have you said, look, I know you guys saw something that maybe freaked you out.

1:24:31🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:24:32🔗 Patricia Arquette What are your feelings?

1:24:33🔗 Drew You have to talk to them? Take us through the story. What happened?

1:24:37🔗 Adam He opens the door. You guys are 69.

1:24:39🔗 Drew Your dad opened the door?

1:24:41🔗 Caller My mom. My dad was right there behind her in the hallway.

1:24:44🔗 Drew What happened?

1:24:46🔗 Caller Well, I sat up and he jumped off the bed.

1:24:50🔗 Adam Blankets? Was there any blanket on anybody?

1:24:53🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:24:54🔗 Adam He jumped off the bed. He has an erection? Yeah. I love that. I love when guys have to do evasive maneuvers with an erection. There's nothing more comical than a guy with an erection, like getting in a fight or having a run. So he's off the bed. What's your mom say?

1:25:13🔗 Caller She just, her jaw drops.

1:25:16🔗 Adam Oh, she wants some too?

1:25:17🔗 Caller No.

1:25:19🔗 Caller No, it was the most horrible feeling I've ever had.

1:25:21🔗 Adam And what does she say? What audibly comes out of your dad's mouth or her mouth?

1:25:25🔗 Caller Get out of my house.

1:25:27🔗 Drew To both of you or to her?

1:25:28🔗 Caller No, to him.

1:25:30🔗 Adam So then do they leave and let him get dressed?

1:25:33🔗 Caller Well, he just zipped up his pants and ran out.

1:25:35🔗 Adam Oh, he didn't finish off? No. A lot of 18-year-old guys would finish off. And so he runs out past your dad and mom and just takes off?

1:25:47🔗 Caller Well, they let him. They didn't want to make him.

1:25:48🔗 Adam And then your parents say to you what?

1:25:51🔗 Caller Where's my bourbon?

1:25:53🔗 Caller Well, my mom was like, how could you do it? They were just in shock because I'm their third.

1:25:58🔗 Adam Well, you got an 18-year-old boyfriend. What did they think? What was their fantasy about what was going on?

1:26:04🔗 Caller Well, I think they had an idea, but they never really wanted to believe it.

1:26:09🔗 Adam Okay. All right. So now it's a little...

1:26:10🔗 Patricia Arquette So now they won't let you see him anymore or what?

1:26:13🔗 Caller Right. And now, so he's not allowed to come over to my house anymore. I'm not allowed to go anywhere with him, which is understandable. But I've been for the last, you know, month, month and a half. It's past since then or two months, whatever. I've been like really missing him. And it's really hard. I actually see him every week on Wednesday nights.

1:26:33🔗 Caller We go to church.

1:26:34🔗 Patricia Arquette Well, why don't you say to them like, Look, I know this is hard for you to understand, but you know, I am getting sexual and I am getting older. And I'm going to respect your rules of this house. But I'm falling in love with somebody or I have strong feelings about somebody. So, look, can you come over and we'll keep the door open? Or how can I build back trust with you?

1:26:54🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:26:55🔗 Patricia Arquette But grow into a woman and have a dialogue with you so that we can stay close.

1:27:00🔗 Adam Yeah. Broach that with your mom. Pull your mom aside and say, Look, mom, when you were 16, did you have a crush on a guy? Were you in love? You know, chances are mom lost her virginity 16, 17 years old, you know.

1:27:15🔗 Patricia Arquette If you alienate your kids and you don't stay current with being able to talk about what they're going through, then you're, you know. You're losing them. You're losing them and they're going to need your advice. They're going to need you when they break their heart.

1:27:29🔗 Adam And it's like, first you lay it out on the table. 69, no rimming, just straight 69. If you like, we can do away with that. Just sort of, you know, back and forth. I'll give him a BJ and he can go down on me, but we don't have to get in the 69.

1:27:45🔗 Drew No intercourse mom, no intercourse.

1:27:46🔗 Adam You guys are offended by that.

1:27:49🔗 Drew I'm not going that way. Well, I consider anal sex, but.

1:27:51🔗 Adam That's right. All right. Drew, seriously, if you chomp down on a cyanide, how fast do you think you go down?

1:27:57🔗 Drew I think it's a couple of minutes.

1:27:58🔗 Adam Is it a couple of minutes? Like you might stand there and still focus on something. You wouldn't just collapse. You need a device that blows your head off when you chomp down on it. What if there was a mistake? What if you kick the door open? It's your daughter's room, but it's like her blonde haired friend who snuck in there. You make the horrible mistake of thinking it's your daughter and chomped down on it. Your head blows off.

1:28:21🔗 Drew I'll take that risk.

1:28:22🔗 Caller It will still be worth it.

1:28:24🔗 Adam Patricia Arquette is here. We're going to take a little break and we'll be right back. Hey, y'all. Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Drew. Bad Religion, our good friends coming up later this week. Also, more friends, 311. And then we got Robert Downey Jr. and Anthony Kitas coming in here doing some talking about some LA Free Clinic, I believe. The you and I are going to do some hosting on something on coming up too. So we got all that good stuff ahead of us. Patricia Arquette is here tonight talking about outlawing landmines. It is something we've been kidding about sometimes and people don't think too much about, but it's really horrible for the people who are left behind in these war torn countries. And like I said, especially the kids and the peasants and the people who have to work the fields.

1:29:50🔗 Patricia Arquette Well, like, you know, there are a lot of countries like in Afghanistan when the Taliban was in, women were not allowed to work even though a lot of them were widows. So they would have to go out and forage for wood to make fires and a lot of them would, you know, step on landmines because actually in that behind the veil there is a girl in it who gets her legs blown off and she was already an orphan. So she was like, oh, now I'm going to be, you know, more in need of the assistance of my family and now I'll never be able to get married which was her only option of a life because she wouldn't have legs. So yeah, a lot of women go out, you know, and a lot of times when they do mine these areas, they mine around villages, they mine around water holes. You're going to have to get water, especially in these countries where there's droughts, you're going to have to go get water. And if these mines last for 70, 80, 90 years, your chances are good that that's going to go off.

1:30:44🔗 Drew Do you think enough is going to be made of what happened to women in Afghanistan?

1:30:48🔗 Patricia Arquette No, I don't. And I still I'm horrified about what's happening in Afghanistan. I don't know what to do about it for women exactly. No, it's horrible. Not, you know, it's a horrible situation. What happened on the 11th? And it's a horrible reality that they were living in. I don't know what it is in humans that are capable of doing this to one another. I don't know.

1:31:11🔗 Adam Well, who are we to judge? We can't judge cultures. They're just.

1:31:15🔗 Patricia Arquette Oh, you like that, don't you, Drew?

1:31:17🔗 Adam They have just as much, just as much right, just as much right to their cultures. We do. We can impose our wills on their cultures, their culture. That's that's this is what I like about.

1:31:27🔗 Drew I'm against that attitude.

1:31:28🔗 Adam Well, listen, there's a lot of pussies in this country that are constantly talking about us not having the right to judge other cultures or impose our will on the cultures.

1:31:39🔗 Drew I'm against it.

1:31:39🔗 Adam But most of those people who make that argument are vehemently for women's rights. So now they're at a weird crossroads because they're into that. We shouldn't meddle in foreign policy. We shouldn't impose our culture. We shouldn't go abroad and tell these people what to do. But these people are being horrible to women. And so now, like I said, there's a weird dichotomy here.

1:32:02🔗 Patricia Arquette We shouldn't be the police force for the world and then do something about it.

1:32:05🔗 Drew If we are just moral people, don't we have an obligation?

1:32:08🔗 Adam That's what that's what I think. And there's this whole sort of left-wing thing to there's no right and there's no wrong. There's only different.

1:32:17🔗 Drew That's BS.

1:32:17🔗 Adam But it is. I think it's OK to say that beating women and forcing them not to work.

1:32:23🔗 Drew Even if you want to call them healthy and unhealthy. There is healthy and there is unhealthy.

1:32:27🔗 Adam Yes. And it may be different than what we're used to. But I think that's OK.

1:32:32🔗 Patricia Arquette I mean, I think it's OK to live that way.

1:32:34🔗 Adam No, it's not. The point is, is if you're doing things to harm people, women, children, even if it's a cultural thing, I think it's OK to make a judgment.

1:32:43🔗 Drew I think we have an obligation to do that.

1:32:45🔗 Patricia Arquette That's why I think if we have some kind of an enforceable world court, where we all come together, that would be the general consensus would be, that's not OK. That's just not OK.

1:32:57🔗 Caller You're not all right.

1:32:58🔗 Adam Yes, I'm with that.

1:33:00🔗 Patricia Arquette But, you know, we don't even want to have a world court because we feel like, oh wait, if Osama Bin Laden ends up in this country where, you know, there's no capital punishment, they won't send it back to us and they won't do what we want to do, so we don't want to be a part of the world court, but we need to come together as a whole world and make kind of a...

1:33:19🔗 Adam I'll tell you, if you really think about it between this, and I know we got to go to break, between this terrorism stuff recently and even more recently, or semi-recently stuff like NAFTA and stuff like the Euro-Dollar and stuff. I mean, let's face it, the world is just becoming one big country and has moved faster in that direction over the last five or ten years than ever in history. And if you look down the road, ten years from now, twenty years from now, a hundred years from now, aren't we pretty much just getting to that sort of one world in a sense?

1:33:52🔗 Patricia Arquette Yeah, and I think secretly we have been for a long time, and I think, you know, we're going to have a lot of business in the Middle East as long as we're using up so much oil.

1:34:00🔗 Adam That's right. That's why me and Ed Begley Jr. ride those bikes to work. We're going to take ourselves a little break. We'll be right back.

1:34:09🔗 Caller Okay, so I know there's nothing wrong with me. So what's up? So I was like, you know, I used to think that these datelines were totally cheesy.

1:34:14🔗 Caller Why can't I meet anybody?

1:34:15🔗 Caller But I tried everything else and thought, what the hell? So I called the dateline and actually met a cool guy.

1:34:19🔗 Caller I called the dateline and I hooked up with some cool people.

1:34:21🔗 Caller Believe it or not, other normal people are out there looking too.

1:34:24🔗 Caller 877-889-DATE.

1:34:27🔗 Caller 1-800-LOVE-191.

1:34:29🔗 Caller We'll be right back.

1:35:04🔗 Drew Patricia, we're done. She's waiting for the next call. She's ready for another hour here.

1:35:10🔗 Adam Hey, Patricia, always interesting to talk to you, and I wish you'd come back in one of these movies.

1:35:17🔗 Drew Isn't the radio better?

1:35:18🔗 Patricia Arquette Yeah, I like it, yeah.

1:35:19🔗 Adam When the movies come out, the Behind the Sun and...

1:35:23🔗 Patricia Arquette Oh, they changed that to the badge now.

1:35:24🔗 Adam Oh, sorry.

1:35:25🔗 Patricia Arquette Too many Behind the Suns.

1:35:26🔗 Adam The badge and the human nature comes out. Well, whatever other projects, if someone else is blowing somebody up or something.

1:35:34🔗 Patricia Arquette No, I actually have an invention. I made this heated sofa. Oh, sure. I'd like to come back and talk about that.

1:35:41🔗 Adam I know that happens.

1:35:42🔗 Patricia Arquette And some yogurts.

1:35:43🔗 Adam Fruit in the middle, baby. Or I may change that to just fruit on one side.

1:35:47🔗 Patricia Arquette Let me throw my magnetized coins at you.

1:35:50🔗 Adam Oh, okay. I will be revered one day as a genius.

1:35:55🔗 Drew Well, with Patricia's name applied. Right. The brain is behind Patricia's success.

1:36:00🔗 Adam I want to thank Patricia for coming out here. It was our pleasure. And until next time, this is Adam Carolla for Dr. Drew saying mahalo.

1:36:08🔗 Caller I want to make something clear. I'm not against friendship.

1:36:11🔗 Caller This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or this station. The producer for Loveline is Ann Wilkins Engel. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

Episode Feedback