Thursday, October 18, 2001

1:02🔗 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised. Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew Loveline, Coast to Coast.

1:15🔗 Voiceover That's right, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla, it's Dr. Drew over there. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Dr. Drew, Board Certified Internist and Addiction Medicine Specialist.

1:29🔗 Drew I had a steam here, what's going on?

1:31🔗 Adam Nothing.

1:32🔗 Drew At the inspirational, those inspirational collars we had yesterday, you made me get back.

1:37🔗 Adam Yeah, it inspired me to almost kill myself today. Uh, maybe a little lightning round tonight, huh? Yeah, yeah, because a lot of people need to know the surf, the weather, now, in the traffic.

1:51🔗 Drew Now, now, you know, I was just going to tap the traffic report today, I thought to myself, here is something that they always say that you've got to do.

1:57🔗 Adam Hold on, I'll write it down. Ready? Hold on, yeah.

1:59🔗 Drew Mattress in lanes.

2:01🔗 Adam Oh yeah.

2:02🔗 Drew Mattress.

2:03🔗 Adam Well, I like to see, I like it when the guys drive with the mattress on the roof of the car. First off, I always love it when a guy carries something in a car that the car was not meant to carry.

2:15🔗 Drew Yeah.

2:15🔗 Adam Like, I love a good gardener who's using a VW Bug. You know, I mean, he's got the back window blown out and the handle sticking out of it. Right, right, right. You don't see quite as much of that as you used to because I think trucks are a little easier to get hold of these days.

2:31🔗 Drew They're cracking down on that stuff too.

2:33🔗 Adam Yeah, maybe they're pulling these guys over, but there was nothing better. You know what was the best is when a guy actually modified his car for work. Like the guy drove a 77 Vega, but he was a pool man, so he cut the hatchback off and put some plywood down and made it into a Vega flatbed. I used to see that crap all the time. I was just talking to somebody about this, which was, think about all the weird crap you used to see. You used to see dune buggies, right? You used to see those Baja Bugs, which were the VW Bugs.

3:04🔗 Drew The Thing. The Thing.

3:06🔗 Adam No, no.

3:07🔗 Drew Oh, the Baja Bug. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

3:08🔗 Adam VW that was converted into essentially a sand rail, big paddle tires and the engine hanging out of the back with a big stinger exhaust pipe that stuck four feet in the air, big long antenna with a flag on it. People used to drive around those three-wheel choppers.

3:25🔗 Drew Remember those trikes?

3:27🔗 Adam Some of them had like VW engines in them and stuff like, people used to just, you kids don't know about this, but it used to go out and it was like being in like some kind of Matchbox world or something. You'd be driving down the street and some guy in a three-wheel chopper with a VW engine would pull up next to you.

3:46🔗 Drew Huge, what would you call that?

3:46🔗 Adam That big fiberglass cowling in front, the forks hanging out, this bitch on the back. And then guys would get crazy. He'd be sitting, his seat would be a whiskey barrel that was cut out with some foam in it. Guys used to make their own camper shells all the time. I see like a big wooden camper shell on top of a mini truck. Yeah, those were the days.

4:07🔗 Drew California thing too by the way.

4:08🔗 Adam But I like it when a guy's driving down the freeway with a mattress on the roof of his car and his hand is out holding it on. That's brash. Doing 70 down the freeway with the arm. You know it's like, I used to do this all the time too, which is, yeah, it's tied on but not that well. So I'll just give it a little supplemental hold down, which will be the hand that should be on the steering wheel, but that's all right. I can shift and drive with my right hand, no problem. All right, so maybe a little lightening around tonight, because you know, traffic, it can be slow and go and you got to watch out for those taillights or brake lights. Naomi?

4:46🔗 Yeah?

4:47🔗 Adam You're 15, Drew, turn that fan the other way, yeah. The air conditioning screwed up, so we got the fan on in here. Go ahead.

4:55🔗 Caller Okay, I want to know is, okay, like when I masturbate, I use like a curling iron thing, kind of sort of, because I have like different sizes.

5:05🔗 Ouch!

5:06🔗 Drew What do you mean kind of?

5:08🔗 Caller Like, I don't know how to put it, like, do you think I would be loosed from that though?

5:13🔗 Drew No, there's no such thing.

5:15🔗 Adam You would be if you opened up the curling iron, you know, they have that like prong thing on it. It's like a speculum, big speculum. It becomes a heated speculum, yeah, at a certain point.

5:24🔗 Drew What do you mean you have different sizes of curling iron?

5:27🔗 Caller What?

5:28🔗 Drew What do you mean you have different sizes of curling iron?

5:30🔗 Caller I have different like barrel sizes for like larger curls and smaller curls and stuff like that.

5:34🔗 Drew Yeah, you're not talking about curly iron. You're talking about, wait a minute.

5:37🔗 Adam Sometimes you're feeling elegant. Sometimes you're feeling sassy, Drew.

5:40🔗 Drew Are you talking about curlers or curling iron?

5:43🔗 Adam No, curling iron. Well, some have the bigger head on them and some have the thinner head on them.

5:48🔗 Drew What are you asking about this?

5:49🔗 Caller Do you think that that would make me lose because I'm a virgin?

5:52🔗 Drew Nothing can make you lose.

5:53🔗 Caller Really?

5:54🔗 Drew Nothing.

5:55🔗 Caller So my boyfriend like wouldn't notice that?

5:57🔗 Drew Right.

5:57🔗 Adam Loose is a state of mind. You understand, Naomi?

6:02🔗 Caller Yeah, I think so.

6:03🔗 Adam All right. So what about your boyfriend? What do you use the curling iron on yourself for?

6:07🔗 Caller I don't know because I don't want to get pregnant because my cousins, my sister, they're hoochies.

6:14🔗 Adam Yeah.

6:14🔗 Caller They've got kids like my age.

6:18🔗 Drew Right.

6:18🔗 Adam So they should have used the curling iron is what you're saying.

6:22🔗 Drew Is she trying to sort herself clothes? Is that what she's saying?

6:24🔗 Adam She's cauterizing her vagina.

6:27🔗 Caller Yeah.

6:28🔗 Caller I got another question too.

6:29🔗 Caller Yeah.

6:30🔗 Drew Go ahead.

6:31🔗 Adam Whose curling iron is it?

6:32🔗 Caller It's mine.

6:34🔗 Adam All right.

6:34🔗 Caller But I put like a condom over it just in case they know it's bacteria or something.

6:38🔗 Adam You do?

6:38🔗 Drew You're not plugging it in or anything.

6:39🔗 Adam Drew, hold on a second. How distressed would you be as a parent to walk into a room, look under a bed and see a curling iron with a condom rolled over the end of it?

6:47🔗 Drew You know how much denial parents have? You'd think, look how sanitary. She's thinking.

6:52🔗 Adam Yeah, but you'd think, wait a minute, if she plugged that in and it heated up, it would melt that condom.

6:57🔗 Drew I'll have to talk to her about that.

6:58🔗 Adam Then you'd give it a little sniff.

7:01🔗 You'd have to.

7:02🔗 Adam You have to sniff anything you find under a bed, Drew. Dog takes a crap under a bed, you pull it out, you give it a whiff. Naomi?

7:10🔗 Caller Yeah?

7:11🔗 Adam What's your second question?

7:12🔗 Caller My cousin, she's like 40 something, she's got hepatitis C and I want to know if that's airborne?

7:20🔗 Drew No. You have to share a needle with her or have sex with her.

7:24🔗 Caller That's gross.

7:24🔗 Drew Yeah. But she's an IV drug user, right?

7:27🔗 Caller No. She got it from her husband.

7:29🔗 Drew He was an IV drug user.

7:30🔗 Caller Yeah.

7:31🔗 Drew Yeah. Okay.

7:32🔗 Adam All right. Naomi, don't let this new guy get you pregnant.

7:35🔗 Caller No, I won't.

7:35🔗 Adam That's the only thing in life that will really screw you up.

7:39🔗 Drew That's the good news about the curling iron, right?

7:40🔗 Caller Right.

7:42🔗 Adam Okay.

7:42🔗 Caller Okay. Thank you.

7:43🔗 Adam All right. Listen, Naomi, tie the cord around your ankle like a surfboard leash. Why? Well, you don't want to lose it in you.

7:53🔗 Drew What's your other question?

7:54🔗 Caller Dr. Drew, you know how you were doing that one show called Women Are From Venus, American Heart?

8:01🔗 Drew I know. Yeah, I know.

8:02🔗 Is that still going?

8:03🔗 Drew In some cities, strangely.

8:05🔗 Caller Because of like, I used to watch it all the time. And now it's like not on. I can never find it anymore.

8:10🔗 Drew It's a few, a couple of cities still play it, but it's basically not on.

8:13🔗 Adam She's going to have to move.

8:14🔗 Drew Yeah, write Sony pictures. Complain.

8:18🔗 Adam Yeah. Use the ballpoint pen that's on the back of the curling iron. They should make a Swiss Army curling iron. Yeah, some had some nail clippers, a file.

8:27🔗 Drew Sure. Different sizes of curl.

8:30🔗 Adam Who are we speaking to? Lore here? Lore? Yeah. Hello. Yes.

8:35🔗 Hi.

8:36🔗 Adam You're 34. What's up?

8:37🔗 Caller I am. I have a question. Well, actually, first of all, with Drew, I took your advice. You had said a couple of weeks ago about you're a bad parent if you let your child sleep with you.

8:52🔗 Drew I didn't say you're a bad parent. I said not a good idea.

8:55🔗 Caller Right, that you're not doing the parenting gig.

8:58🔗 Drew Right, you're not doing your job.

8:59🔗 Caller And so I took your advice. I was like, oh my gosh, Drew said this. And so it was a breeze.

9:04🔗 Drew Good, oh good.

9:05🔗 Caller Isn't that exciting?

9:06🔗 Drew That is nice.

9:06🔗 Caller Okay, yeah. Anyway, so thank you very much for that.

9:09🔗 Adam When you say sleep with, you mean having sex, right?

9:12🔗 Caller No, no, no, no.

9:14🔗 Drew That's not usually part of the parenting gig, Adam. I know your family.

9:17🔗 Adam I don't have kids, I don't know. And we were on traditional, so I'll bet some of them.

9:22🔗 Caller Adam.

9:22🔗 Adam Yes.

9:23🔗 Caller This is for you. I'm going to California in March of next year.

9:31🔗 Adam Hold on, let me get my calendar out. Yes, about what time? What flight number, please?

9:36🔗 Caller Oh, I don't know yet, but listen, this is serious. There are so many places that you say are like hell's waiting room.

9:44🔗 Adam Right.

9:45🔗 Caller I want to know where to go, because last year I went to San Diego and it was freezing. It was miserable. I mean, lovely, yet miserable.

9:53🔗 Adam Right.

9:54🔗 Drew What is you're coming out here to do?

9:56🔗 Caller Just on a vacation with my son. He's five.

9:59🔗 Adam I see. Well, now see, what I always talk about is the cities that are named such as Hawaiian Gardens and Garden Grove. Right. And Lakeview Terrace and places like that. Sunland. Sunland is a dangerous dump, just like Hawaiian Gardens is a dangerous dump. But if you were coming from out of state, you'd say, the hotel, it's in Hawaiian Gardens. Well, it'll be a little slice of paradise.

10:27🔗 Caller Right.

10:27🔗 Adam Reality is, it's a hellhole.

10:30🔗 Caller Right.

10:30🔗 Adam Yeah. I've said, I was saying to somebody, Drew, putting Laura on hold here, you know what I think we ought to do? I think it's too confusing. It's a big tourist town. I mean, Southern California. I think we ought to give cities numbers.

10:44🔗 Drew Rankings?

10:45🔗 Adam Yeah. It's a rank. It's a number. I don't know. I don't know. Beverly Hills or Universal City or Santa Monica. I don't know what's number one. Brentwood, number one, and it just keeps going down. If there's whatever the jurisdiction is, if there's 130 cities, then number one is the best and 130 is the worst. Now, when you're coming from Minnesota, and you're thinking about swinging by Hawaiian Gardens, and then you take a look, 129.

11:13🔗 Drew Think again.

11:14🔗 Adam Followed only by Sunderland, right? You think again. Well, why not? Plus, it gives the city some incentive. It's like, hey, fellas, we're 116. We got to crack the 100.

11:27🔗 Drew But what do people come to Los Angeles for?

11:30🔗 Adam I don't know.

11:31🔗 Drew Why don't you ask what you're intending to do here?

11:33🔗 Adam But wouldn't it be cool? That way, you could do that power play on people too, where they would go like, where you live? I'm number 37. Interesting. I'm 19. Yeah. Got a place. Well, I'm right on the border between 19 and 22, but I'm still in 19.

11:51🔗 Drew People start to get it tattooed on their arms.

11:53🔗 Adam Yeah. Little scanner codes. What a utopia. All right. Are you on board with my numbers?

12:00🔗 Drew Yeah, I'm on board with that. I'm just curious why I may come out here.

12:02🔗 Adam Plus, it'd be easier to find stuff too. It's easier to remember where number 3 is or number 17 is in Hawaiian gardens, not even by the beach, right? No.

12:11🔗 Caller With a five-year-old.

12:13🔗 Adam Hey, Laura?

12:13🔗 Caller Yeah.

12:14🔗 Adam Where do I go? Just coming out here for a vacation?

12:17🔗 Drew Yeah. What, like to hang out by the beach?

12:19🔗 Caller Yeah, exactly. I went to San Diego last year, like I said, and the beach was full of glass and rocks and it was freezing.

12:26🔗 Adam Yeah.

12:27🔗 Caller It was, it was, it was.

12:29🔗 Adam Well, it's not real hot during, you know, March sometimes.

12:33🔗 Caller Anywhere?

12:34🔗 Adam Well, listen, here's what I would do. I'd go north.

12:38🔗 Caller Oh, please.

12:39🔗 Adam I'd go, not north from where you are. You'd be in Canada, but I'd go north to Alaska, come on the rushes on.

12:47🔗 Drew Yeah, like go to San Francisco.

12:48🔗 Adam Jesus, I sound good when I sing with myself.

12:50🔗 Drew Yeah.

12:51🔗 Adam Hey, no, yeah. Come out here and go to like Hurst Castle or something.

12:55🔗 Drew Just go to San Francisco.

12:55🔗 Adam Yeah, San Francisco or something with a San in it. Do you know what I mean? Santa Barbara.

13:00🔗 Drew Santa Barbara, yeah.

13:01🔗 Adam Yeah, go see the Redwoods.

13:02🔗 Caller San Diego has a San in it.

13:04🔗 Adam Yeah, but that doesn't count.

13:06🔗 Drew San Diego is great.

13:07🔗 Adam That's S-A-N-D. This is S-A-N. You see what I'm saying, Drew?

13:11🔗 Caller Got you. Okay.

13:12🔗 Adam Yeah. That's Sand Diego.

13:15🔗 Caller All right. You guys rule.

13:17🔗 Adam Thanks, baby. Yeah. Anyone who thinks they're coming out here, I'm telling you, go to San Simeon or something. There's another San. Go see Hurst Castle. Why? Go to San Francisco. I don't want them coming here.

13:30🔗 Caller That's why.

13:31🔗 Adam They're a pain in my ass. Rachel?

13:33🔗 Hi.

13:34🔗 Adam Hey, you're 18. What's up?

13:35🔗 Caller Okay. You guys have probably heard this before, but I'm 18 years old. I've been with my boyfriend for 10 months, and I can't have an orgasm, and I've never had one in my entire life. I don't want to do it on my own. I don't want to masturbate or anything.

13:52🔗 Adam Go to Hearst Castle.

13:55🔗 Drew How do you expect to figure out if you don't do that?

13:57🔗 Caller Well, see, I don't feel comfortable doing it on my own. I wanted it to be with him while I was trying to do that, to have an orgasm.

14:10🔗 Adam Well, you didn't answer a question, which is why is it so uncomfortable for you to do it on your own? I mean, why do you sort of feel like you have to justify it?

14:18🔗 I don't know.

14:19🔗 Adam So it's like if it's sexual, it's okay if it's with a partner, but if it's sexual on your own, then it's kind of dirty or naughty or something?

14:27🔗 Caller No, not so much that.

14:29🔗 Adam Well, then do it. Then do it. Do it on your own.

14:32🔗 Drew You got to remember, for many women, it just doesn't make sense. I know it's hard for you to grasp that, but it's something that isn't a normal kind of an impulse.

14:40🔗 Adam Hey, Rachel.

14:41🔗 Caller Yeah.

14:42🔗 Drew Ask what the boyfriend's capable of.

14:44🔗 Adam Does he give you the oral sex?

14:47🔗 Caller Yeah, but it doesn't really get me excited or anything.

14:51🔗 Drew Does he know what he's doing?

14:52🔗 Caller Oh, yeah. It just doesn't-

14:54🔗 Drew Yeah. It's wonderful. I just don't get excited.

14:56🔗 Adam He's great. He may be the best.

14:59🔗 Caller It's nice, but it just-

15:00🔗 Adam I'm dry as wax paper down there, but he's the best.

15:04🔗 Caller But see, my question was is that when I was younger, I was molested. And I want to know if that had anything to do with it.

15:12🔗 Drew Yeah.

15:12🔗 Adam Yep.

15:13🔗 Caller A lot.

15:14🔗 Adam Who did this to you?

15:17🔗 Caller An older cousin of mine.

15:18🔗 Drew Just one time?

15:20🔗 Caller Yeah.

15:21🔗 Adam How old were you?

15:25🔗 Caller I was 11.

15:27🔗 Drew Did he actually have sex with you?

15:29🔗 Caller No, it was just a kind of like a groping kind of thing.

15:35🔗 That's actually healthy.

15:37🔗 Drew Yeah, that's not going to necessarily do anything to you.

15:40🔗 Adam So Rachel, what's up? I mean, maybe you're thinking about this cousin. How old was your cousin when you were 11?

15:48🔗 Caller He was in his 20s.

15:50🔗 Drew Oh, gross.

15:51🔗 Adam What a dynamite, dude.

15:53🔗 Drew What's he doing now?

15:55🔗 Caller I don't know. No one's seen him in a long time.

15:57🔗 Adam Good.

15:57🔗 Drew Shocking.

15:58🔗 Adam Yeah. I hope his car broke down. He was hitchhiking by the side of the road in a semi. I just clipped him and broke him. He laid there in pain for a few hours and then eventually bled to death.

16:10🔗 Caller He used to live with us. He got kicked out because I think he tried to do the same thing to my sister.

16:16🔗 Adam You know what's really weird, Drew? I don't know why this is, but what is it that's even scarier, dicier and weirder about a guy in his mid-20s who's feeling up his 11-year-old cuz and just almost just feeling up. It's like trying to cop a feel. For some reason, it's more egregious than just traditional intercourse and molestation.

16:43🔗 Drew You're having trouble getting the motivation. What's the impulse there?

16:46🔗 Adam Yeah. I'm going to grab some preformed boob. There's something that's a little too casual about it too. Like, hey, come on baby, don't be uptight. It's like, you're cut, oh, Jesus. Hey, Rach? Yeah. All right, baby. This didn't ruin you, this cousin thing, but having the kind of family that would spawn a guy like this, maybe.

17:09🔗 Drew Keep them around.

17:10🔗 Adam Something. Well, they kicked them out eventually.

17:12🔗 Drew All right. But then, look, he has to be able to perform oral sex properly. She's got to experiment maybe with a shower head or the bathtub.

17:21🔗 Adam Yeah. Right. And you're 18. She seems a little slower than a lot.

17:28🔗 Drew Most 18-year-olds are right about where Rachel is. Right. The plumbing isn't working right yet. The whole central nervous system connection with this doesn't quite make sense yet.

17:37🔗 Adam Right.

17:37🔗 Drew It takes a while.

17:39🔗 Adam Let's talk to Nathan. Nathan.

17:43🔗 Yes.

17:43🔗 Adam You're 20.

17:44🔗 Caller Yeah.

17:45🔗 Adam What's up?

17:47🔗 Caller Man, I have no idea.

17:49🔗 I have some...

17:50🔗 Caller I read in an encyclopedia, I guess, because I was curious as to why, at 20 years old, I have a problem keeping it up sometimes. You know, I mean, there's no logical reason for that to me.

18:05🔗 Drew When you're having sex?

18:08🔗 Caller Well, very rarely. I was a virgin when I got married, and I mean, never, never done anything. And, you know, I, I don't know how to say it, I don't know, I lasted.

18:24🔗 Adam You what? You were never molested? What did you say?

18:29🔗 Caller No.

18:30🔗 Adam You lasted?

18:31🔗 Caller Right, I lasted a long, you know, I mean, pretty good while for a virgin, I thought. And, my wife was going down on me, and I mean, I just, I didn't get off. I mean, she was probably going down on me for like 15 minutes.

18:45🔗 Adam Okay, so hold on now, Nathan. Okay. Are you losing your erection or are you unable to have an orgasm?

18:52🔗 Caller No, no, that's what I say. I think that's when it started because I couldn't, in my mind I was thinking, why am I not finishing? Why am I not finishing? And then finally, on our honeymoon, of all things, you know, my wife's older than me and, you know, she married this young guy. And, you know, it's going, you know, it's just drop, it's losing its hardness, you know, and it, like I say, it's frustrating to me, it's frustrating to her, and I can't seem to make sense of it.

19:17🔗 Adam All right, so, I'll answer my own question. You're losing your erection.

19:20🔗 Drew Yeah.

19:22🔗 Adam But it's because you're having difficulty with the orgasm.

19:25🔗 Drew That's where the sort of obsession kicked in. I'm sorry. And I'm just talking to Nathan. I'm getting anxious. I lose an erection talking to him for three minutes.

19:32🔗 Adam I still got mine, buddy.

19:33🔗 Drew Okay.

19:34🔗 Adam I'm gonna use it on Drew during the commercial.

19:36🔗 Drew Nathan, your sexual function doesn't work when you're uptight, when you're anxious, when you're preoccupied. Things don't work.

19:43🔗 Caller Right, well, that's what I, I mean, now it's the point where I lose it because I'm thinking about that I can't lose it.

19:50🔗 Drew That's right. You're thinking about losing it so you lose it. It's called anticipatory anxiety. This is all about being nervous.

19:57🔗 Caller Right. Okay. I agree with that. I mean, but I don't know what to do about it.

20:02🔗 Adam Drew, I'm gonna, who paid you, Drew?

20:04🔗 Drew It's 1019.

20:06🔗 Adam All right.

20:06🔗 Drew We begged for them to call.

20:07🔗 Adam I'm still gonna punch him. Hey, and Nathan? Yes. All right. What? There's no, there's no vibrate on that pager.

20:15🔗 Drew No.

20:16🔗 Adam And is it, it's just acceptable for you to have that thing go off almost on a nightly basis.

20:20🔗 Drew Is it acceptable to me?

20:21🔗 Adam Yes.

20:22🔗 Drew I wish I had some choice.

20:23🔗 Adam You don't think you have a choice?

20:24🔗 Drew No.

20:25🔗 Adam You don't think you can set it in the other room and check it during the commercial break?

20:28🔗 Drew Yeah, we could do that.

20:29🔗 Adam Oh, shocking. Hey, Nathan? Yes. Why were you a virgin for so long?

20:38🔗 Caller Religious. I'm a Jehovah's Witness.

20:40🔗 Drew Oh, okay.

20:42🔗 Adam Yeah, that's a rough one.

20:43🔗 Drew So, if you've got some...

20:44🔗 Caller Well, you know, it's not what everybody says, but you know what I can say? The thing is, is that, you know, I mean, I never had a problem before, obviously. Well, I mean, that I knew of, obviously, but regardless of virgin or not or whatever, it doesn't make any sense to me that at 20 years old, I should even have to worry about it when my wife is...

21:05🔗 Adam No, but hold on, hold on. See, you say at 20 years old and yeah, but you got a 14 and a half year old penis. It's not a 20 year old penis. You were a virgin until a few months ago.

21:18🔗 Drew Well, and a sort of handicapped 14 and a half year old penis.

21:21🔗 Adam Yeah, here's the deal. 20 year old men are good to go and have a boner that lasts longer than taffy. But that's because they've been going at it since they were 15. Right. So his penis is essentially where a 15 year olds is, and that can be a little tricky. He's married, he's got to work it out.

21:43🔗 Drew He is so anxious. I mean, that anxiety has got to go. If he has no internal resource to reduce that anxiety, he needs to see someone because this ain't going away. If he is that nervous and that preoccupied and that obsessional, nothing's going to work.

21:56🔗 Adam Hold on, Jehovah is not going to let you see somebody, Drew.

22:00🔗 Drew Oh, is that right?

22:00🔗 Adam Unless it's Jehovah. I don't think so. I mean, you got to see somebody in the church or something. I don't think you get to go to people and know what they're doing. You have to go to molesters. With high school education, we want real help. So here's the deal, just work it out with your wife. And I think Jehovah let him drink a glass of wine. Is Jehovah let you drink now?

22:22🔗 Caller Witnesses have never been against drinking. That's Baptist.

22:24🔗 Adam Okay, good. All right. Have yourself a glass of red wine and calm yourself before you go into battle next. It's all right. And Drew, turn that fan the other way, please. We're going to take ourselves a little break. When we come back, we're going to go talk to someone from Bakersfield.

22:40🔗 Drew Oh, yeah. That's always good.

22:41🔗 Adam Now, see, there's a city that would not crack the Corolla 100, not by a long shot.

22:46🔗 Drew Not ever, probably. Well, you'd have a separate category of cities like that, wouldn't you?

22:53🔗 Adam Bakersfield?

22:53🔗 Drew Yeah.

22:54🔗 Adam Yeah, like King of the Dumps?

22:56🔗 Drew Well, you have to have Riverside and Bakersfield.

22:58🔗 Adam No, no. See, to me, they would just go way down on the list, so people who are traveling knew. Riverside sounds great. Bakersfield both sounds great, right? Do you know how many whorehouses and nudie bars you'd have to put into Bakersfield just to get it up to, like, into the 70s? Oh, they'd have to start opening two-story nudie bars. Okay. Oh, see, we got a nudie bar on the bottom, there's a bar in the middle, and there's a nudie bar on top, and then there's a coin-op car wash that's on top of that.

23:28🔗 Drew Sports bar in the basement.

23:29🔗 Adam Sports bar in the basement. All right. Well, and we sell hobby goods, model airplanes, glue, stuff like that, motor, stuff like that, and high-performance auto parts. We have a high-performance bookstore at the top. All right. We'll take ourselves a little break. We'll be back.

23:47🔗 Caller Love Line with Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew. 1-800-LOVE-1-9-1 We'll be right back.

24:20🔗 Adam Hey, Loveline, everybody. I'm Adam. That's Drew over there. Travis will be in here next week, and Tony Hawk. This guy turns skateboarding into a billion-dollar-a-year industry.

24:36🔗 Drew Isn't that wild?

24:37🔗 Adam Jesus Christ, skateboarding. It's like some kind of, it's a novelty. You know what I mean?

24:43🔗 Drew Yeah.

24:44🔗 Adam I mean, listen.

24:44🔗 Drew Giant industry under him.

24:46🔗 Adam Yeah. You want an example of getting rich, doing what you want to do as long as you're the best at it? Skateboarding, for Christ's sake. How the hell do you get, how do you build an empire on your skateboard? It's crazy. All right. He's a good guy though.

25:05🔗 Drew Really nice guy.

25:06🔗 Adam Yeah. You're glad. Kathy?

25:09🔗 Yes.

25:10🔗 Adam I mean, I'm not, but one would be glad. You're 16?

25:13🔗 Caller Yeah.

25:14🔗 Adam What's up?

25:15🔗 Caller I've masturbated four times a day, and I wanted to know if that's a problem.

25:21🔗 Adam I'm thinking about gambling.

25:23🔗 Drew Yeah.

25:24🔗 Adam You want gambling?

25:25🔗 Drew It's almost a gimme.

25:28🔗 Adam I don't know. You want to gamble?

25:30🔗 Drew I don't have my money with me.

25:34🔗 Adam Yeah? You don't have any money with you?

25:36🔗 Drew No.

25:36🔗 Adam Where is it?

25:37🔗 Drew In the car. You're going to send me out to the car? At the break.

25:41🔗 Adam At the break, you go to the car. All right. You ready?

25:43🔗 Drew All right. You know, I get, maybe me first?

25:47🔗 Adam Yeah, go ahead.

25:48🔗 Drew Chronic, chronic chaos in the home. Something for, something happened, sexual abuse, something like that, or for.

25:56🔗 Adam Sexual?

25:56🔗 Drew All right. But not bad. Just sort of chronic drug, alcohol, chaos in the home, both parents.

26:03🔗 Adam So she, it's so chaotic, she has to sort of retreat in her own masturbatory world.

26:07🔗 Drew Yeah.

26:08🔗 Adam Yeah.

26:10🔗 Caller Hmm.

26:11🔗 Adam She sound like a little girl. So she did sound about four or five. And you got the sexual abuse. She's really into the sex. But maybe it was just the alcoholic dad who's split and abusive stepdad and- All right.

26:26🔗 Drew Safe bet.

26:27🔗 Adam No sexual abuse per se. Kathy?

26:31🔗 Caller Yeah?

26:32🔗 Adam Let's talk about your past.

26:34🔗 Caller My dad's not an alcoholic. He was a drug addict.

26:37🔗 Drew Drug addict.

26:39🔗 Adam That covers up.

26:40🔗 Drew How about mom?

26:40🔗 Adam That'll cover that bet.

26:41🔗 Caller My mom, she was a police officer.

26:45🔗 Adam That's how they met.

26:46🔗 Drew What was the-

26:46🔗 Adam Sting operation.

26:47🔗 Drew What was home like?

26:48🔗 Caller Huh?

26:49🔗 Drew What was your home life like?

26:52🔗 Caller My real dad, he was abusive. And, uh, my stepdad, he's a druggy, too. He's in a rehab.

27:03🔗 Drew Anybody sexually abuse you?

27:04🔗 Caller No.

27:05🔗 Drew Never?

27:05🔗 Caller Never.

27:06🔗 Adam When did your real dad leave?

27:10🔗 Caller It was like four or five.

27:13🔗 Drew Hmm.

27:13🔗 Adam That makes sense.

27:14🔗 Drew Do you know why he left?

27:15🔗 Caller Yeah.

27:16🔗 Drew Why?

27:16🔗 Caller He abused my mom and he was a druggy.

27:19🔗 Adam All right.

27:20🔗 Drew Didn't do anything to you, though.

27:22🔗 Caller So far, one of my moms told me.

27:25🔗 Adam All right. So listen, I'm taking the money because I ironically said it sounded like she was four or five. Drew picked four, too, and it sounds like where she got locked in. Her dad then left at four or five. Yeah. I said-

27:37🔗 Drew Abusive stepdad.

27:39🔗 Adam I said original alcoholic dad left and abusive stepdad stepped in.

27:44🔗 Drew I'll give you the money, but-

27:44🔗 Adam Probably not too far from it.

27:45🔗 Drew I'll give you the money, but this is like chronic, chronic chaos in the home, which is what I said originally, too. But I'll give you the money nonetheless. You're all money back.

27:53🔗 Adam No, I want your money.

27:55🔗 Drew I'll get it.

27:55🔗 Adam Cheap half Jew, Dr. Bastard. I mean, listen, how dare you, Drew? Yes, it's chaos. We always know it's chaos.

28:03🔗 Drew No, no, but this is like chronic, you know, awful home situation.

28:06🔗 Adam Still, that's such a blanketing bet. You have to get more-

28:09🔗 Drew Yeah, you're right.

28:10🔗 Adam You have to get more into it. I've got a little bit, it's a-

28:13🔗 Drew I bet he left because he had done something weird to her, too.

28:16🔗 Adam Well, it's possible, but she's, well, she's not a closed book.

28:20🔗 Drew No.

28:21🔗 Adam She doesn't-

28:21🔗 Drew No, no, she just doesn't remember.

28:22🔗 Adam Well, okay, but that's part of the betting.

28:25🔗 Drew Yeah, I understand. That's why you win.

28:27🔗 Adam Yeah, thank you.

28:27🔗 Drew Even though I'm right.

28:29🔗 Adam Even if you are right, I'm still right-er. I work the stepdad in and the booze and I mean, the drugs and all right. Kathy, Drew is rarely right. Go ahead. I'm sorry, baby.

28:43🔗 Caller Why are you guys guessing that I'm four or five?

28:46🔗 Adam Well, you just, you're-

28:47🔗 Drew We get an instinct from listening to people's voices of what age them sort of real trauma hit.

28:52🔗 Caller That's not my real voice. I have to whisper because I'm grounded.

28:55🔗 Drew Yeah, it's your real voice.

28:56🔗 Caller No, it's not.

28:58🔗 Drew Kathy, it's how your voice makes us feel then. Let's put it that way.

29:01🔗 Caller Okay, fine, whatever.

29:03🔗 Adam Okay, well.

29:04🔗 Caller I said that.

29:05🔗 Adam Listen, how come Drew said four and I said four or five and then we asked you when it came to a head and when your dad left and you said you were four or five? Doesn't seem like a coincidence?

29:17🔗 Caller I don't know. That's the stage that he left.

29:23🔗 Adam Right. Oh, boy. Okay. Well, anyway. So what's going on? Doing all that masturbating, huh? Do you have a boyfriend?

29:34🔗 Caller I used to, but I dumped him for this other guy and I still don't have the guts to go up to him. I think that's one of the reasons why I'm doing it so many times.

29:44🔗 Adam What do you mean you don't have the guts to go up to him?

29:46🔗 Caller I don't have the guts to go up to him and just tell him that I like him.

29:50🔗 Adam Oh, you dumped him for another guy that you haven't talked to. Right.

29:54🔗 Drew But you're masturbating a lot because you lived in chaos and a very dramatic upbringing and that's what people do that sort of becomes sexualized, becomes a way of managing affect, escaping from those awful feelings.

30:06🔗 Adam Alright, hold on. Let me talk to Drew for a second. Listen.

30:09🔗 Drew She won't understand anything.

30:10🔗 Adam Now, here's what I'm saying. Let's go on damage control.

30:12🔗 Drew Alright. Don't get pregnant. Let's give her birth control talk. Alright?

30:17🔗 Adam Yeah. I mean, what we gotta do is put a thumb in this night.

30:20🔗 Drew Yeah. Yeah.

30:21🔗 Adam We ain't gonna rebuild it. You understand?

30:24🔗 Drew It's not possible.

30:25🔗 Adam Stop the hammer. Just a triage thing.

30:27🔗 Drew No, this is to save the town. Don't worry about the dice.

30:29🔗 Adam Okay. Drew just called you a lesbian, by the way. Hey, Kathy?

30:33🔗 Caller Yeah?

30:34🔗 Adam Okay. Listen. You've been through a lot in your life, right?

30:37🔗 Caller Yeah.

30:38🔗 Adam And you've got your bad step dads and your bad dad and your crazy mom and all this chaos.

30:43🔗 Where's my bourbon?

30:44🔗 Adam What's that?

30:45🔗 Caller My mom is that crazy?

30:47🔗 Drew Well, she picks these bad guys.

30:48🔗 Caller And I don't know where you put your bourbon.

30:51🔗 Adam She's picking weird guys and bringing them home. Okay?

30:54🔗 Caller Yeah, but my mom and my step dad have been together for like seven years and got married April 10th, 99. And so they know each other pretty well until now.

31:07🔗 Drew Just keep going to break control. Stay focused. Stay focused.

31:09🔗 Adam Hey, Kathy?

31:10🔗 Drew It's raining bullets now.

31:12🔗 Adam Could you stop inainly rambling, please?

31:16🔗 Drew Okay.

31:16🔗 Adam Thank you. Here's what you need to do in life. You need to not masturbate so much. I can't believe I'm saying that to someone. You need to get your grades good in school and you need to be real careful around boys. Okay?

31:32🔗 Drew Not get taken advantage of by them.

31:34🔗 Adam Don't let them take advantage of you.

31:36🔗 Drew Don't get raped.

31:36🔗 Adam Don't let them get you pregnant.

31:39🔗 Drew Do not get pregnant.

31:40🔗 Caller Okay.

31:40🔗 Adam Do you understand?

31:42🔗 Caller Yeah.

31:42🔗 Caller I'm a virgin.

31:43🔗 Drew All right. Good, good, excellent. Should something happen with a guy?

31:47🔗 Caller Not a lesbian.

31:48🔗 Drew Should something happen with a guy? Do you have a plan for how you're going to avoid a pregnancy?

31:52🔗 Caller Yeah. Condoms are don't do it.

31:54🔗 Drew All right. And if the condom should break, there's a morning after pill. There's a pill you can take within three days of that happening. That'll prevent the pregnancy from occurring also. Okay?

32:03🔗 Caller Okay.

32:03🔗 Adam All right.

32:04🔗 Drew Morning after pill.

32:04🔗 Adam Now you be careful of those guys and you don't get pregnant, all right?

32:09🔗 Caller Okay.

32:09🔗 Adam Thank you. You get your grades up and you move far, far away from Bakersfield. Do you understand?

32:14🔗 Caller Far away. I'm moving to Oregon.

32:16🔗 Adam Yeah. Okay. Good. Yeah.

32:18🔗 Drew Keep going.

32:18🔗 Adam Keep going.

32:20🔗 Drew I'm not sure that's far enough.

32:21🔗 Adam Maybe all the way to Canada.

32:23🔗 Drew It's funny how you go from one Bakersfield to another one.

32:28🔗 Adam What is... Listen, I know the folks from Bakersfield, if they knew how to dial a phone, would be calling and upset at the things I say about them. But does anyone ever disappoint from Bakersfield?

32:41🔗 Drew Never.

32:42🔗 Adam Is that place just the biggest trash heap you've ever even conceived of?

32:47🔗 Drew Amongst the calls we get, it suggests that.

32:49🔗 Adam Judging from the 200 people we spoke into who live in Bakersfield...

32:53🔗 Drew In the last month.

32:54🔗 Adam You know what? I now, when I fly, I will not fly over Bakersfield.

32:58🔗 Drew Oh, no, that make them divert.

33:00🔗 Adam Yeah. It's like, you know, those pussies in France wouldn't let us fly over there. It's airspace.

33:07🔗 Drew Yeah.

33:07🔗 Adam I would not fly over that.

33:09🔗 Drew I like the idea of her going up to Corvallis, though. It scares me, too.

33:12🔗 Adam I look at it as sort of the devil's triangle. You know what I'm saying?

33:15🔗 Drew Yeah.

33:15🔗 Adam Even planes went down in the devil's triangle.

33:17🔗 Drew Well, just on the off chance that you would have to make an emergency landing, you sure as hell wouldn't.

33:21🔗 Adam Oh, yeah, it'd be in Bakersfield. That's right. Jeremy? Jeremy?

33:27🔗 Yes, I'm here.

33:28🔗 Adam You're 20. What's up?

33:29🔗 Caller Hey, I just found a legal way to get it over the Internet, human growth hormones as compared to steroids.

33:37🔗 Adam All right.

33:38🔗 Caller Because I am 20 and they say my growing plates are still open. So that way I can possibly still grow taller to help me out my basketball career if I'm going to have one.

33:48🔗 Drew Wait a minute, growth hormone basically just accelerates the closure of your growth plates. There's evidence that it ultimately makes you shorter than you're going to be.

33:57🔗 Adam How tall are you now?

33:59🔗 Caller Well, I'm 6'2 now, almost 6'3. I'd say 6'2 and a half. I don't think I'm growing anymore.

34:04🔗 Adam Yeah, well, you're 20. That's what happens when you get to be 20.

34:07🔗 Caller But there are many, many people who have still had growth spurts after age 20.

34:11🔗 Drew That's true.

34:12🔗 Adam Yeah, they're usually guys that are 6'7 and they get up to 6'9.

34:17🔗 Drew Well, no, there can be large growth spurts and people have very late puberty.

34:21🔗 Adam The puberty of growth spurts happens.

34:22🔗 Caller Yeah, you see, that's the other thing is I have not truly hit my full puberty.

34:26🔗 Adam All right.

34:26🔗 Caller No, man, I'm married, but I'm not covered in body hair yet.

34:31🔗 Adam I mean, at all. Listen, there's plenty of... Drew, when you were 20, how much body hair did you have on you? Zero. Thank you. Now he has.1%. Yeah, he's a chick. Listen, Jeremy?

34:46🔗 Caller Yeah?

34:46🔗 Adam I just think this is a semi-retarded plan.

34:49🔗 Caller Well, here's the way I'm looking at it. I'm not going to grow anymore at normal rate.

34:54🔗 Adam Yeah.

34:54🔗 Caller If my one shot is to grow, it would be to get these human growth hormones and stimulate them.

34:59🔗 Adam Well, let's say you do that. So what do you do? Squeeze another five-eighths of an inch out of yourself?

35:05🔗 Drew Meantime, you get something called acromegaly, which is a disease. It's a disease. You can become diabetic. There'd be a whole mess from taking too much growth hormone.

35:12🔗 Adam Now instead of six, two and a half and healthy, you're six, three and an eighth and unhealthy.

35:18🔗 Drew A mess.

35:18🔗 Adam And either way, you got no game.

35:20🔗 Drew You can get dissection.

35:20🔗 Caller Well, have you heard of human growth hormones going wrong? I mean, I know a lot of bodybuilders are on it.

35:25🔗 Drew Absolutely can go wrong. There's a whole, there's a look up acromegaly on the web. Read about what that is, which is a endogenous growth hormone produced by your pituitary gland in excess and the disease that it creates.

35:36🔗 Caller Okay, what steroid out there is safe? Because I heard the lady earlier on the Chicago air who said she had the nasal problem and she took the steroid while she was going through surgery and she gained 100 pounds.

35:47🔗 Drew Yeah, that's corticosteroid. You're interested in anabolic or androgenic steroids.

35:51🔗 Adam What's the difference?

35:53🔗 Drew Corticosteroid is a mineralic corticoid and glucocorticoid. These are completely different kinds of hormones than what he's interested in.

36:01🔗 Adam Hey Jeremy, hold on. Just wait a second. Do you really think you're going to play some pro ball? Are you going to translate this into some dollars?

36:09🔗 Caller Well, the thing is, if I can make the team. What team? The Arizona State University where I'm transferring to.

36:16🔗 Adam Right.

36:17🔗 Caller And if I can actually make the team and hold my own, I will get a full scholarship and that's going to save me quite a bit of money.

36:22🔗 Adam All right. But that will be based on your talents.

36:25🔗 Drew Well, saving you money versus risking your life?

36:31🔗 Adam No, no. Listen, I understand what he's saying. He's taking a chance. Well, my thing is, if the guy was a good ball player, then he'll go there and make the team. I mean, here's the deal. Basketball of all sports, it's so much about fluidity, rhythm, vertical, vertical leap, hand-eye coordination. It's all about touch. I mean, steroids may even F you up a little bit in that game. So you either...

37:04🔗 Drew I mean, the growth hormone can close the holes that your nerves come out of, from your skull, for instance. It can choke them off, it can affect the way nerves are functioning, so you won't be able to have that touch.

37:14🔗 Adam Yes, you either got that or you don't. So if he does, he's fine. And if he doesn't, he's fine. Either way, this is not going to make a difference. And you give yourself the opportunity to do damage to yourself.

37:24🔗 Yes.

37:24🔗 Adam You're 18?

37:25🔗 Caller Yes, I am.

37:26🔗 Adam What is up?

37:27🔗 Caller All right. I have a pretty severe allergic reaction to latex. And I was wondering if there's any type of condom on the market that's non-latex.

37:38🔗 Drew Yeah, animal skin. You're only looking to that right now?

37:40🔗 Caller I have animal skin. Thank you.

37:42🔗 Drew Why not the animal skin?

37:43🔗 Caller Why not the animal skin? Because it doesn't provide us good protection.

37:46🔗 Adam She's a vegetarian. Write that down, Drew.

37:51🔗 Caller I'm from Berkeley.

37:52🔗 Adam Oh, write that down. Vegetarian. You get it? Why not animal skin? Not only that. I'm calling Jimmy. He's gonna laugh. Yeah?

38:02🔗 Drew Is this with a single partner or with new people?

38:07🔗 Caller Well, that kind of depends on my current situation.

38:09🔗 Adam Vegetarian.

38:11🔗 Drew Okay, I'm gonna ask it differently. What is your current situation?

38:15🔗 Caller My current situation, I am with somebody. However, if that doesn't work out, then I could possibly in the future be with multiple partners, in which case, yes, I am on the birth control pill. However, if I need a backup method because of antibiotics or if I miss a day.

38:34🔗 Drew Well, more importantly, if you're having multiple partners in whom you don't know their history, then you got to use it for STD protection, then that would be polyurethane.

38:41🔗 Caller Okay.

38:42🔗 Drew Why is that funny?

38:43🔗 Adam Hey, what's with that little condescending chuckle before after everyone's sentence?

38:49🔗 Caller I'm sorry?

38:51🔗 Adam You're sorry.

38:52🔗 Caller No, why is there a condescending chuckle? Is that what you said?

38:55🔗 Adam Well, he says, what about polyurethane?

38:57🔗 Caller And you're like, well, all I know is that there's a substance called nitrile. And I was wondering if that's something that they use as a condom.

39:07🔗 Adam What about the polyurethane?

39:10🔗 Caller Is that latex?

39:11🔗 Drew No, that's polyurethane.

39:13🔗 Caller Okay.

39:14🔗 Adam That's a different barrier, but it'll work.

39:16🔗 Drew It's as effective as latex.

39:18🔗 Adam Yeah. So probably a little bit more, but you could, you know, handle that, right? I mean, you're worth it.

39:24🔗 Caller Is that, does that have any irritant on it, like a powder or anything?

39:29🔗 Drew There's different brands. I'm sure you can get it without that.

39:31🔗 Caller Okay.

39:32🔗 Adam All right.

39:33🔗 Caller Sounds good.

39:33🔗 Adam Polyurethane. They'll have it everywhere, right, Drew? Yep. Hi, baby. Good times.

39:37🔗 Caller Thanks. You too.

39:38🔗 Adam Take care. We're going to take ourselves a little break. I'm going to call Jimmy and tell him a vegetarian. He'll get a good laugh out of that.

39:50🔗 Drew No, no, let's call him in the air.

39:52🔗 Adam He'll probably not be home.

39:54🔗 Drew I just want to hear if he actually laughs when you say he's going to laugh at your stuff. Oh, really? I want to see how they truly react. Well, let me call him in advance and tell him to laugh on the air.

40:05🔗 Adam All right. We'll call Jimmy Kimmel when we come back.

40:41🔗 Caller Hi, this is Dave Navarro, you're listening to Loveline with Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew.

40:46🔗 Adam Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. Oh, that's right, that's what Dave Navarro said. Phone number, 1-800-LOVE-191. Last break, Drew suggested we call Jimmy Kimmel, my funny partner.

41:01🔗 Caller Dr. Drew's a more solid, funny, I think, physician, blah, blah, blah, blah.

41:05🔗 Adam That's right. That's him. You know him from the Fox pre-game show, and of course, the Man Show, and Win Ben Stein's Money. The guy's really taken off. He left me in the dust. But I made a joke I thought was funny. Didn't seem to amuse Drew, or Anderson, or...

41:21🔗 Caller I forgot what it was.

41:24🔗 Drew All right, Terry.

41:25🔗 Adam You don't call me Tara.

41:26🔗 Drew But you're going to tell it to Jimmy.

41:27🔗 Adam Yeah, I'll tell it to Jimmy.

41:28🔗 Drew Someone who truly appreciates your humor.

41:30🔗 Adam Well, he knows comedy.

41:31🔗 Drew So we'll watch the reaction of a real comedy connoisseur.

41:34🔗 Adam Well, we'll call him up. He's probably not at home.

41:36🔗 Drew All right. There he is.

41:39🔗 Adam We got him on lens. Oh, OK. That's good. That's what I love about Jimmy. Hey, Jimmy.

41:44🔗 Caller When have I not been at home?

41:45🔗 Caller That's true.

41:47🔗 Adam That's true.

41:47🔗 Caller All right.

41:48🔗 Adam So I made this really funny joke.

41:49🔗 Caller Yeah.

41:50🔗 Adam You know, kind of a punny joke. I know you like the puns.

41:52🔗 Caller I do like them, man.

41:53🔗 Adam And Drew didn't even crack a smile. He just kept moving. And I said, Jimmy, I said, Jimmy would have laughed.

42:01🔗 Caller That's so unlike him.

42:02🔗 Adam I know.

42:03🔗 Drew Well, what really got him is he looked up. He looked across the window here at the Peanut Gallery, the people in the control room.

42:08🔗 Adam Yeah.

42:08🔗 Drew Grubers.

42:10🔗 Adam It's true.

42:11🔗 Caller You might as well have an aquarium there. I think you get more laughs.

42:14🔗 Adam Yeah. Morey Eel has a better look on its face than producer Ann. What was it? Well, we had this chick call from Berkeley. Get ready with the high hat here, Anderson, please. We had this chick. She called from Berkeley. She was a little bit uptight. She said she didn't want she didn't want to use a latex condom. And Drew said, well, what about animal skin? And she said, I don't know. And Drew said, well, what's wrong with animal skin? And I said, maybe she's a vegetarian. You see, you hear that laugh?

42:44🔗 Caller That's BS.

42:45🔗 Adam Vagetarian. That's funny, right, buddy?

42:48🔗 Caller That's great. And let me tell you one of my all-time favorite Adam pun jokes. We were we're on vacation with the Juggie Dance Squad and one of them injured her leg and was bleeding. And Adam goes, here, let me squirt a little jack teen on that.

43:06🔗 Adam I forgot about the jack team. Well, now, now, Drew's laughing. Maybe it's the delivery.

43:12🔗 Drew No, it's who says it.

43:13🔗 Caller I laughed for about three days. Jack team.

43:16🔗 Adam That's right.

43:16🔗 Caller I'm with you on the vegetarian.

43:18🔗 Adam Yeah, because it works with the animal skin and the Berkeley and everything.

43:21🔗 Caller Oh, definitely.

43:22🔗 Drew Jack team.

43:26🔗 Adam That's funny.

43:26🔗 Drew Oh, my God.

43:28🔗 Adam Yeah, you had to be there.

43:30🔗 Caller I'm trying to watch Deuce Bigelow.

43:32🔗 Adam Oh, OK. Good times. I'm coming over tomorrow.

43:36🔗 Caller OK. Just don't come over tonight.

43:38🔗 Adam No, don't worry. All right. Thanks, buddy. Thanks for the laugh. Genius. No greater connoisseur of comedy than Jimmy Kimmel. Star maker, Jimmy Kimmel. That's right. All right. So there. Oh, Jack team. That's funny. See how much funnier I am when I'm not on the air, Drew?

43:57🔗 Caller You're right. Yeah.

43:58🔗 Adam Let's help the kiddies. All right.

44:00🔗 Caller All right.

44:02🔗 Adam Jack team. Michelle? Hello. Yeah. Jack team and Vegetarian. Come on. That's genius. Will Rogers. What's he got on me?

44:12🔗 Drew Hi, Michelle. What's up?

44:13🔗 Caller Hi. Dr. Drew, this is actually more for you, I guess. I'm dating a guy who's in recovery for drug abuse, and he's been clean for a year, and we've been dating for about five months, and I'm just wondering if you have any advice because at this point, I kind of feel sort of emotionally ignored, and I've never dated anybody that's gone through recovery.

44:44🔗 Drew Well, now you're talking about him as though the recovery started when your relationship, during your relationship, but he was already well into it, right?

44:52🔗 Caller Yeah.

44:53🔗 Caller Yeah, he was.

44:54🔗 Caller Yeah, he was about...

44:55🔗 Drew He was about to have gone through recovery. Has he relapsed?

44:57🔗 Caller Well, no, actually, he's been in and out of recovery for a long time.

45:01🔗 Drew Well, yeah, that's what it sounds like, like he's sort of reconnected with recovery recently and he's had to work at it, and you've sort of felt left behind by that.

45:10🔗 Caller Not so much left behind because, you know, it's sort of a new relationship, I guess.

45:14🔗 Drew So what have you felt?

45:17🔗 Caller Well, yeah, I guess when we first started dating, it was that sort of typical, you know, just excitement of dating in a new situation. And, but within the last maybe about a month and a half, he's just, maybe I think it's become, because he's coming on a year, he feels like he's supposed to feel really optimistic about it and he's kind of let down, like he's not feeling very positive about it, and he's getting worried that he's not going to make it.

45:42🔗 Drew Well, there's a lot of stuff that goes into getting through that milestone of one year, but that's his business. How do you feel with the work he's doing right now?

45:49🔗 Caller Well, lately, whenever we get together, for the first like hour and a half, he'll just be kind of going off about, you know, I don't know, just feeling like he wants to get high and just like the emotional trauma that he's going through with that.

46:04🔗 Drew All right, so you're having trouble just dealing with a guy that's ambivalent and chaotic and having difficulty containing his impulse. Sounds like he is getting high, frankly. That kind of thinking and blurting it out all the time and preoccupying about it.

46:17🔗 Adam How old is he?

46:18🔗 Caller He's 31.

46:19🔗 Drew What's the drug of choice?

46:21🔗 Caller Actually, yeah, he was doing heroin and crack and...

46:24🔗 Drew I'm suspicious he's using it myself. But maybe that's what you're experiencing. Maybe that's the reason you feel like things are sort of falling apart, is that he's sort of abandoning because he's abandoning you to the drugs.

46:36🔗 Adam Yeah, you got to kind of ask yourself why you got hooked up with this guy.

46:40🔗 Caller Yeah, I do.

46:42🔗 Adam I mean, it seems, I mean, you know, she's 30 years old. She sounds intelligent.

46:47🔗 Drew Well, here's what it's going to take if this is going to work, probably, is he has to, he's a heroin addict. It takes a lot, a lot of time. His life depends upon his recovery. I've had a whole bunch of patients die recently, and it sort of really reminds me how deadly this disease is.

47:01🔗 Adam Do you have to get the family to pay at that point? Was that uncomfortable?

47:04🔗 Drew Yeah.

47:07🔗 Adam How do you broach that?

47:08🔗 Drew But I'll take it to brain.

47:09🔗 Caller All right.

47:10🔗 Drew But it's that he's got to focus on, a lot of his energy has got to go into that, and you have to support that, and you have to go to Al Anon, and you have to grow and focus on your own work. Just feeling that, you know, being left behind by him, and that he's changing and moving away, all that is no good. You're going to kill him if you stay focused on that.

47:26🔗 Caller All right.

47:27🔗 Drew Or it may be that he's in his drugs now, and that's what you're feeling.

47:30🔗 Adam Vagetarian.

47:30🔗 Drew Vagetarian. That's exacting.

47:32🔗 Caller All right.

47:33🔗 Adam We'll be back.

47:34🔗 Caller Okay.

47:34🔗 So I know there's nothing wrong with me.

47:36🔗 Caller So what's up? So I was like you and I used to think that these datelines were totally cheesy.

47:39🔗 Caller Why can't I meet anybody?

47:40🔗 Caller But I tried everything else and thought, what the hell?

47:42🔗 Caller So I called the dateline and actually met a cool guy.

47:44🔗 Caller I called the dateline and I hooked up with some cool people.

47:46🔗 Caller Believe it or not, other normal people are out there looking too.

47:49🔗 Caller 877-889-DATE.

47:51🔗 Caller Loveline, 1-800-LOVE-191.

48:37🔗 Adam Oh, hey, you know, I always expect to start talking when it, right? Like that.

49:03🔗 Caller Yeah.

49:03🔗 Adam I could be in this band.

49:04🔗 Drew You're hip.

49:35🔗 Caller I'm going to try to summarize the situation in order for you to understand my question.

49:39🔗 Drew It better be clearer and shorter, however, though, than the way you posed the...

49:43🔗 Caller All right. My question is, is that, you know, it seems like I'm always, you know, just a stable point for women. And instead of dating, they seem to just look at me as a...

49:56🔗 Drew Do you ever ask them out?

49:57🔗 Caller Yeah. But they would be like, oh, well, you know, we're so close.

50:02🔗 Drew But did you ask them out ever at the beginning of the relationship? Not once. What's the problem once you're in a friendship? Straight out of the blocks, you've asked a few out and just no.

50:10🔗 Caller Well, I asked a few and then I haven't asked a few. It becomes really depressing after a while.

50:17🔗 Drew So, in spite of asking them out and trying to get a relationship going, they immediately size you up as a friend.

50:23🔗 Caller Most of the time, and I'm just wondering, man, what's my problem?

50:26🔗 Drew When is it that it doesn't happen?

50:30🔗 Caller Lately, that seems to be all that is.

50:32🔗 Drew Yeah, but I understand. Yeah, I understand you can't see it anyway, then it's always that way, but it's not always that way. So, when it isn't, what's the difference?

50:39🔗 Caller What do you mean, exactly?

50:41🔗 Adam Well, you know how women are? They're like guys who work at a used car lot, and if they see you coming in there looking a little confused with money hanging out of your pocket, and you don't know anything, and you got that just fell off the turnip truck look, they just take you to the cleaners.

50:57🔗 Caller Yeah, well, I'm a pilot, and I'm not exactly stupid. You know, I am very smart.

51:02🔗 Adam No, I don't mean stupid. I just mean when a woman, when you come and approach a... Shut up. When you approach a woman from a position of sort of putting a question mark behind everything.

51:15🔗 Drew Right, it's, I'm gonna be friend again, or let me detail your van. You may start out with that.

51:20🔗 Adam They don't respond well to that.

51:21🔗 Caller Yeah. Okay.

51:22🔗 Adam They respond well, though, as sort of calm, steady confidence.

51:27🔗 Caller That seems like they're always using me for that, because, I mean, if they have problems with their boyfriend, they always run to me.

51:31🔗 Drew Now, why do you put up with that?

51:33🔗 Caller I don't know, man. I just...

51:34🔗 Drew Well, there you go.

51:35🔗 Adam Where do you...

51:35🔗 Caller Just because I'm too nice or something.

51:37🔗 Adam Where do you meet women?

51:39🔗 Caller Well, you know, I meet at my, like, mall. You know, just everyday general stuff.

51:42🔗 Drew I still want my question answered. When it hasn't gone into friend, what was different about those relationships?

51:49🔗 Caller To be honest with you, I've never... It's always been friend and then turned into something. It's never been...

51:54🔗 Drew You've never been able to go directly for, I want to date you, I'm attracted to you, I want a relationship with you.

51:59🔗 Caller They just won't go for it for something.

52:01🔗 Drew No, I'm not. No, that's you. You've never been able to pull that off.

52:06🔗 Caller I guess not.

52:07🔗 Adam What do you do? Do you go to school?

52:11🔗 Caller I'm a pilot and I frequently catch up on that and hold my skills in the industry.

52:18🔗 Drew You're flying a 747?

52:19🔗 Caller What are you talking about? Right now, I'm just flying to get into my CFI, which is Certified Flight Instructor and stuff like that, and multi-engine rating, which would make me be able to fly things like that.

52:31🔗 Adam So you're training to be a pilot?

52:34🔗 Caller Well, I am a pilot, but I'm training to be a professional pilot.

52:37🔗 Adam Right, but you're going to flight school?

52:39🔗 Caller Yeah, exactly.

52:40🔗 Adam Okay, so you're not going to school school, you're going to flight school?

52:43🔗 Caller No.

52:44🔗 Adam And you don't meet many women, I'm guessing, there?

52:48🔗 Caller You'd be surprised.

52:49🔗 Adam All right, well then go ahead and score. But look, look, here's what we're hearing in you.

52:56🔗 Caller All right.

52:57🔗 Adam We're hearing someone who's a little bit scattered.

52:59🔗 Caller Yeah.

53:00🔗 Adam And women do not respond to that at all.

53:04🔗 Caller Well, I know what I want, I just don't want like, you know, one night stand hanky-panky kind of relationship, you know, because I guess I'm more of a just stable person.

53:14🔗 Adam All right.

53:15🔗 Drew There's just, there's a little, there's a little.

53:16🔗 Adam None of his answers have anything to do with our questions.

53:18🔗 Drew I know, I know. He's going to talk.

53:19🔗 Adam Or statements.

53:20🔗 Drew And there's a little smack of desperation. And even the tiniest whiff of that and you're just done for.

53:24🔗 Caller I know, screwed. Yeah.

53:25🔗 Adam Right. And so how do you get confidence when you have no conquests to build on? You just keep going forward. I mean, what is he 18? Yes, everybody's a mess at 18.

53:37🔗 Drew Yeah, come on.

53:38🔗 Adam All bets are off.

53:38🔗 Drew Your expectations. At least you have girlfriends.

53:40🔗 Caller Yeah. Well, this is like the younger ones, you know, are too immature and then the older ones look at you like, well, you're too young.

53:45🔗 Drew Well, get some of your friends to set you up on dates.

53:47🔗 Caller Yeah.

53:48🔗 Drew They think so much of you. You're such a great friend. They'll put if it's true, they'll set you up on dates. And as soon as your their friends respond to you, magically, they'll be attracted to. That's the irony of women, isn't it?

53:58🔗 Adam And he's also a guy where guys, you see, women don't bloom differently than men.

54:05🔗 Drew They don't?

54:05🔗 Adam As much as they'd like, as you'd like to think they do. No, they bloom sexually. I mean, there's women who aren't interested in sex at 17 or 18 and who are very much interested in sex at 28 or 38. But in terms of their, where they go on the open market, there's usually not a whole bunch of fluctuation.

54:29🔗 Drew I'm not following you.

54:30🔗 Adam You're not?

54:30🔗 Drew No.

54:30🔗 Adam What, are you a retard?

54:31🔗 Drew No, I don't.

54:32🔗 Adam Where do they go? Women, you show me a woman who is very attractive to men at 18, and I'll show you a woman who's very attractive to men when she's 22.

54:42🔗 Drew Attractive to men. Attractive. Oh, I see. Men change.

54:45🔗 Adam When she was 16. Guys change drastically. I mean, there are guys like Kenneth over here, who may be a bumbling mess at 18 and at 28, has his commercial's pilot license, got himself some shoes with some buckles on it and some new frames for his glasses and is nailing every stewardess in the airport.

55:07🔗 Drew Tell me you didn't go through a period of time where you didn't actually repel women. Oh, yeah.

55:14🔗 Adam Just a mess.

55:15🔗 Drew Yeah.

55:16🔗 Adam I mean, most guys will undergo this transformation in their lifetime in a very short period of time. I mean, there's a lot of guys. There's some guys that were cool all the way through. But that's 5, 10 percent.

55:31🔗 Drew They're born with that.

55:32🔗 Adam And then there's some guys who will never get anything.

55:35🔗 Drew Born with that.

55:36🔗 Adam And they're born with that. That's why I need to kick my dad in the nuts again. And then there are guys who undergo the transformation, and that's probably the majority of them, or at least quite a few of them.

55:47🔗 Drew I was meeting a patient. I've got to share a story with you. I was meeting a patient and I was asking about his family. He goes, he goes, yeah, my dad. He goes, you know what Adam describes his dad? That's my dad.

55:55🔗 Adam Oh, really? Maybe it's my brother.

55:56🔗 Drew No.

55:57🔗 Adam Sad. All right. So Kenneth at 18 is shaking.

56:03🔗 Drew Yeah.

56:03🔗 Adam Okay.

56:04🔗 Drew He'll be fine.

56:05🔗 Adam Just keep pushing forward. Don't do all the questioning and don't do that whole process of elimination thing so you're left with nothing. You know when you do that thing where you go, girls younger than me are too immature. Then girls who are older than me don't want anything to do with a guy my age.

56:21🔗 Drew Every time I go up to one, she just wants to be a friend every time.

56:23🔗 Adam Then the girls who are exactly my age think it's too weird that they're exactly my age. You've just effectively eliminated the entire planet from dating you. Don't do that. Don't play that game. If you're attracted to somebody.

56:36🔗 Drew In fact, I think that's the whole point. Don't play any game. Just get into your ass, do your fly flying, focus on that and magically, you'll become attracted to somebody.

56:45🔗 Adam That's right.

56:46🔗 Drew Some of them are attracted to you.

56:47🔗 Adam That's right. Lindsay?

56:48🔗 Yeah. Hi.

56:49🔗 Adam Hey.

56:49🔗 I just want to say, I thought your joke was funny.

56:54🔗 Drew Wait, Lindsay. We didn't hear any of that. What's that?

56:56🔗 Oh, I think all of Adam's jokes are funny.

56:58🔗 Adam That's right. Vagetarian.

57:01🔗 I thought that was really funny.

57:02🔗 Adam Yeah, that's funny.

57:02🔗 Drew Jack Dean?

57:03🔗 Adam Jack Dean. Oh, that's how it... You had to be there too. Hot looking chick holding her knee in a pair of short shorts.

57:10🔗 Okay, so Dr. Drew, my boyfriend has a, like, I don't know, I guess it's a problem, I think, but I don't really have that much experience, so I don't know. But whenever his penis is erect, it's always constantly coming, like it's constantly...

57:26🔗 Drew He's got a leaky gasket.

57:28🔗 Adam You mean it's dribbling?

57:30🔗 Drew Dribbler.

57:30🔗 Caller Well, it's like more than a dribble, and like, I think it's like a lot.

57:36🔗 Adam Yeah, but hold on, it can't really be more than a dribble. I mean, it's not as if this spigot is just turned on a little bit. It's not a steady flow. It would be drops.

57:49🔗 Caller No, it's like a lot. It's a really...

57:52🔗 Drew Some guys have a lot. They really do have quite a... And it's really not pre-comb... It's pre-combinated, but it's a lubricant that the prostate puts out.

57:58🔗 Adam But listen, here's the deal. A very little seems like a lot. I mean, it can stain your pants. It can make a mess of things. But it's not like...

58:08🔗 Drew It's normal, too. But it's also stuff that can get you pregnant, so be careful.

58:12🔗 Adam You understand?

58:13🔗 Drew Yeah. You got the next call.

58:14🔗 Adam Oh, I'm sorry. Wait. Where the hell was she on 2? Lindsay? Yeah? All right. There's nothing he can do about it.

58:21🔗 Caller Oh.

58:22🔗 Caller Really?

58:23🔗 Adam Is that a heartbreaker?

58:25🔗 Caller It's so...

58:26🔗 Drew It's so gross. Right, Lindsay?

58:29🔗 Caller Yeah.

58:31🔗 Adam What's so gross about it?

58:33🔗 I don't know.

58:34🔗 Caller I just don't... I don't know.

58:35🔗 I just...

58:36🔗 Caller I don't know. I'm not used to it and I just think that...

58:39🔗 Drew It's normal. It's normal.

58:41🔗 Caller It's so, like, such a turn off and I can't... It doesn't... I don't even like to, like, do anything down there.

58:48🔗 Adam Oh, man.

58:48🔗 Drew Oh, boy.

58:49🔗 Adam Now, how does it get in the way?

58:51🔗 Caller Because no matter, like... No matter what I do, it's always, like, there. Like, I can't even, like, touch his pants or his underwear or anything without, like, feeling it.

59:02🔗 Drew I don't know.

59:02🔗 Adam I don't know why this is so funny, but it's funny.

59:05🔗 Caller Yeah.

59:05🔗 Adam Drew, what about... What about breaking a, you know, Q-tip off in your urethra or something?

59:12🔗 Drew Ain't gonna work.

59:14🔗 Caller Can you take, like, medicine?

59:15🔗 Drew Nope.

59:16🔗 Adam Now, what about doing some, like, Kegel-type exercise or something, like, working on that muscle down there?

59:22🔗 Drew Or maybe he should sort of keep it evacuated.

59:26🔗 Adam Meaning it beats off earlier?

59:28🔗 Drew More, yeah.

59:29🔗 Adam But Drew, seriously, what about, you know...

59:31🔗 Drew I mean, if you were leaky urine all the time, wouldn't you want to just empty the bladder, right?

59:37🔗 Adam Yeah, yeah. Is that it? I mean, why not? Oh, those guys. I don't got an ounce of that.

59:44🔗 Drew Leak?

59:44🔗 Adam Not ever. Not ever.

59:46🔗 Drew You got good gaskets.

59:47🔗 Adam Yeah, not ever. I mean, you know, when I was 18, I could sit in a dark theater and watch 70 hours of hardcore porn with an erection that I had when I walked into the theater and it would be the same one I had leaving the theater. Nobody else's. After 70 same erection, after 70 hours of porn, you could take a small piece of tissue paper and try to stick it to the end of my rec penis and it would just flutter down to the ground.

1:00:16🔗 Drew I just, you and your friends would gather together and try to do that?

1:00:20🔗 Adam Yeah, we call it the flutter test.

1:00:22🔗 Drew You got to set the stage for our listeners.

1:00:24🔗 Adam We usually go 65 hours normally.

1:00:26🔗 Drew Set the stage for our listeners so they understand. They're probably confused by what you're describing here. Tell them, Lo, some 30 years ago the lonely male would have to gather with other males in a theater. Yeah. Yeah. There was no videos. There was no DVDs. There was no theater that you could go to and watch pornography, right?

1:00:44🔗 Adam Yeah, my buddy Zeb worked at the Pussycat. Silver and Lakershim and Ventura. I mean on North Hollywood. And he was there wearing his pink gi, you know, inside the box. It was always great. What a humiliating place to be. It's like you're on display. You're right on the street, you know. And yeah, we'd sneak in there. And listen, you think it sucks to go into a real crowded movie when you're watching an action movie. Try watching porn.

1:01:12🔗 Drew With your buddies?

1:01:13🔗 Adam No, with just a group of dudes.

1:01:15🔗 Drew Males, yeah.

1:01:16🔗 Adam You wish it with your buddies.

1:01:17🔗 Drew Well, at least it's usually the more savory types that would be in those theaters, right?

1:01:20🔗 Adam Wait a minute, my earphone's going on the fritz. What's that?

1:01:23🔗 Drew It'd be the more savory types that would be in those theaters.

1:01:24🔗 Adam That's right, upper-crust types. A lot of ascots, monogram blazers. Yeah. Imagine what kind of guys were in there. It's 2.30 on a Wednesday. And these guys have been camped in there since 11 a.m. And they're showing a triple feature. Talk about torture. You know, the vast majority of them are not beating off. They're just drinking it all in. And they're going to beat off in the car on the way home or explode in the concession stand or something. But could you imagine? Imagine watching, I know when I explain this to my kids or your kids, Drew, which I'm going to have this conversation with them very soon.

1:02:09🔗 Drew That's nice.

1:02:10🔗 Adam It's going to sound just alien that you would sit in a crowded theater and watch pornography.

1:02:15🔗 Drew I can imagine kids that age like grabbing their sides and laughing until they bust a gut. It would sound the funniest thing of all time to them.

1:02:22🔗 Adam If I would have said to somebody in that theater, Hey listen, and I missed this by a few years.

1:02:27🔗 Drew Calm down. In five years.

1:02:29🔗 Adam If I would have said, no, if I would have said, Listen, you see this pornography? Yeah. You can have it so that it's at your home and you could stop it and you could rewind it and you could fast forward it and you could freeze frame it. You could do all that. What? How much? It would be like 200 bucks a whack easily, easily. Could have been a billionaire if I could have bottled that technology and brought it home in 1978. All right. Well, anyway, the pussy cat. They had the big marquee and it would be three or four movies playing and you'd be walking down the street, it would be the same theater. You drive past, it would be the same movie in there for six months.

1:03:12🔗 Drew What were the movies like?

1:03:13🔗 Adam They were bad 70s porno movies, shot on film.

1:03:18🔗 Drew It's like the stuff that Boogie Nights was made about.

1:03:21🔗 Adam Yeah. You'd have to endure the whole movie. You'd be sitting there and you'd be watching the credits and what's upcoming features and all that horrible dialogue and guy driving his car down some street. They're all filmed where I grew up essentially. So I would recognize some of the street was like me watching Adam 12. They shot all that stuff in the valley. Yeah. Hey, that's the 118. Hey, my buddy Mark lives on that street. Hey, that's my buddy Mark's mom. Hey, you're banging my buddy Mark. It was good times. Jesse? Yes. You're 18? Yes. You depressed?

1:04:00🔗 Caller No. I'm just a little sick right now.

1:04:02🔗 Drew What's the matter?

1:04:03🔗 Adam What's up?

1:04:04🔗 Caller I got the flu.

1:04:06🔗 Drew You know, I was thinking about this today. You know, when I see, every time I go to my office now, I see the usual, you know, mid-fall allergies, sinusitis, bronchitis, upper respiratory infections.

1:04:17🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:04:17🔗 Drew Everyone now to me, I've got to think, okay, this is anthrax, is this smallpox, this is brodrom. Everyone.

1:04:24🔗 Adam Well, it's not, but you got to think that.

1:04:25🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:04:26🔗 Adam Yeah, what's up there, Jesse? Well, you don't have to think that, but go ahead.

1:04:29🔗 Drew Well, we're being encouraged to think that way now.

1:04:31🔗 Caller Well, I wanted to know about, is it healthy for you to swallow semen?

1:04:39🔗 Drew What do you mean by healthy?

1:04:41🔗 Caller Like, well, I overheard it that if you swallow semen, it's like, it's not bad and it's okay. That's something about it having vitamins in it. I don't know.

1:04:51🔗 Drew It's not good for you. I mean, it's not going to enhance your health, okay? There's no special quality to it that's going to be good for you.

1:04:57🔗 Adam It should be, though.

1:04:58🔗 Drew It should be, but it isn't. And there is a potential of getting sexually transmitted diseases that way, the particular viral STDs. So there are some reasons not to, but...

1:05:10🔗 Adam You got a boyfriend?

1:05:11🔗 Caller Yeah, I do.

1:05:12🔗 Adam Right. You're thinking about swallowing his semen?

1:05:15🔗 Caller Yeah, well, there's times where I don't know if I would, that it would give him even more pleasure or something.

1:05:21🔗 I don't know.

1:05:22🔗 Drew You're 16.

1:05:23🔗 Adam He's getting enough pleasure.

1:05:24🔗 Drew Yeah, exactly.

1:05:26🔗 Okay.

1:05:26🔗 Drew You don't want to spoil it for him.

1:05:27🔗 Adam Yeah, he'll have nothing to live for. All right, you just finish him off. That's all he cares about.

1:05:33🔗 Drew It would be another part of the Vagetarian diet, wouldn't it?

1:05:35🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:05:36🔗 Drew Remain a vegetarian.

1:05:37🔗 Adam You don't have to swallow it. Are you talking about during oral sex? Yes.

1:05:41🔗 Drew As opposed to what?

1:05:42🔗 Adam Well, I don't know. Sometimes people eat semen. You know, you've never done that, Drew?

1:05:47🔗 Drew No.

1:05:47🔗 Adam You never ordered like a side of semen when you got a plate of semen? Well, you get on the side. Some places have ranch, others have semen. You get like a Reuben sandwich. You want some people like a fries. Jesse, you'll be okay.

1:06:01🔗 Caller Okay.

1:06:01🔗 Adam I just don't, you know, how do you finish them off now? Just let them go?

1:06:08🔗 Caller Yeah, just let them go.

1:06:09🔗 Adam You move your head away?

1:06:11🔗 Caller Oh, yeah.

1:06:12🔗 Yeah.

1:06:14🔗 Adam You know, you could keep your head there and then just spit it out in the garbage can. You want to do that?

1:06:19🔗 Drew She's 16, Adam.

1:06:20🔗 Adam She's 18, isn't she? 18. Oh. Yeah, that's different. You should be doing anal by now. No. All right, Jesse, let's take care of that. And are you using protection? What kind of birth control are you on? Condoms.

1:06:31🔗 Drew Condoms only, huh?

1:06:32🔗 Adam Well, you got a boyfriend, you get on the pill, okay?

1:06:35🔗 Drew You also get that emergency contraceptor, keep it around in case the condom breaks or falls off.

1:06:39🔗 Adam There you go. Don't make me give my speech about not having to swallow it, but just having to receive it and transport it.

1:06:48🔗 Drew Vehicle for transport, receptacle for transport.

1:06:50🔗 Adam Well, I look at my semen as garbage, which is I want to drag it out in front of the balls and have him pick it up once a week. But whether they dump it into my neighbor's yard or throw it in a landfill or burn it, I don't care. Just pick it up.

1:07:03🔗 Drew Get rid of it.

1:07:03🔗 Adam Move it on out. That's all I care about. I mean, just as long as they don't spit it into the ceiling fan or something, which has happened on way more than one occasion, Drew. Joe?

1:07:15🔗 Caller Hello?

1:07:16🔗 Adam You're 16?

1:07:17🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:07:18🔗 Adam What's up?

1:07:19🔗 Caller Hi.

1:07:19🔗 Adam Hey.

1:07:21🔗 Drew Joe?

1:07:22🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:07:23🔗 Adam Did you confuse yourself, honey?

1:07:24🔗 Caller No. What am I supposed to say?

1:07:27🔗 Drew Did you call with a question?

1:07:28🔗 Caller Oh, I just wanted to know, do you guys have PhDs or anything?

1:07:33🔗 Adam Drew does.

1:07:34🔗 Drew I have an MD.

1:07:35🔗 Caller Oh, really? Can I ask you where you got it?

1:07:38🔗 Drew USC.

1:07:39🔗 Caller Oh, I just wanted to know. Okay. Can I ask one more question? Can I ask how old you guys are?

1:07:46🔗 Adam Thirty-seven. And forty-three.

1:07:49🔗 Caller Really?

1:07:50🔗 Drew Why? What's going on in your head, Joe?

1:07:53🔗 Caller No, it's just like you guys seem like teenagers.

1:07:56🔗 Adam Oh, yeah.

1:07:56🔗 Caller Your voices are like old.

1:07:58🔗 Adam We're like Dick Clark.

1:08:00🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:08:01🔗 Adam Well, wait a minute. Do you know who Dick Clark is?

1:08:03🔗 Drew Oh, she doesn't know what Bakhteen is, see? You have to translate that whole joke for her.

1:08:07🔗 Caller Oh, I heard that joke.

1:08:09🔗 Drew Bakhteen. Do you know what Bakhteen is?

1:08:11🔗 Caller Yeah, no.

1:08:12🔗 Drew Okay, so you don't?

1:08:13🔗 Caller But I have a funnier joke.

1:08:14🔗 Adam Hold on. Anderson, good news. I think we may have, and Tara, I mean Tara, we may have found someone who knows less than you. Hold on.

1:08:22🔗 Drew She's excited.

1:08:23🔗 Adam Oh, really? Yes. Yeah.

1:08:26🔗 Drew All right, Joe, tell the joke.

1:08:28🔗 Caller Okay. I heard it from my friend. Okay, there's this couple and there's a guy and there's a girl and they're married and the guy is a virgin and so the guy doesn't know how to have sex, right? And so he goes to his dad and he goes, Hey, dad, I don't know how to have sex. And so dad goes, All right, it's okay, son. Here, take this walkie-talkie and I'll lead you to the whole thing. And then he goes, All right. And so he takes the walkie-talkie and takes his now wife to a hotel room. And they're like all in the hotel and everything and then he goes, Dad, what do I do? And then dad goes, Okay, just set the mood. And he goes, Okay. And he sets the mood and he like dooms the lights and I'm not done.

1:09:09🔗 Adam No, no, keep going. You're doing good.

1:09:10🔗 Caller And he dooms the lights and then he puts on music and everything and then he goes, Dad, what do I do? And then he goes, All right, son, now just put her on the bed somehow. He goes, All right, dad. And he gets her on the bed.

1:09:23🔗 Drew Put her on the bed.

1:09:24🔗 All right, all right.

1:09:25🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:09:27🔗 Caller OK. And then he goes, he puts her on the bed. And he goes, Dad, what do I do? And the dad goes, All right, just take off all her clothes. And then he does. And then he goes, Dad, what do I do? Start kissing her and rubbing her in places. And then he goes, All right. And he does it. And then he goes, Dad, what do I do now? He goes, the dad goes, you know that thing that you and me both have? And the son goes, Yeah?

1:09:51🔗 Caller Stick it up her ass.

1:09:52🔗 Caller And he goes, All right. And he takes the walkie-talkie and he shows it up her ass.

1:09:56🔗 Adam Yeah, yeah, you got the walkie-talkie up her ass.

1:09:59🔗 Caller That's good.

1:10:01🔗 Adam That's a pretty long way to go, but yeah. Here's the problem with that joke.

1:10:07🔗 Drew No payoff?

1:10:08🔗 Adam Well, no. Fundamentally, here's the problem. When you know you're getting near the punch line, because it's been 20, 25 minutes now, and the walkie-talkie is a little bit of a stretch, and when he says, You know that thing that you and I both have? All people with any sense of humor go right to the walkie-talkie at that point. So even you, Drew, went to the walkie-talkie because of the wording.

1:10:31🔗 Drew So it's too obvious.

1:10:32🔗 Adam The wording is a little weak at the end.

1:10:35🔗 Drew So you got to make it more mysterious. Yes.

1:10:40🔗 Adam Everybody with an IQ went right to the walkie-talkie. You always try to figure out the punch line if it's a joke you haven't heard as you go, because there's a sort of a riddle element to it. And the thing we both have, you go to the walkie-talkie. All right. We're going to take ourselves a little break. We'll be back to explain more comedy to you after this. Hey, y'all, it's Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. It's Dr. Drew. You know, something I notice as an adult.

1:12:00🔗 Drew Yeah, nicely phrased.

1:12:03🔗 Adam I don't know if you guys have ever experienced this, but I live alone, I sleep alone, and it's hard to blame smells on other people when you live alone.

1:12:13🔗 Drew All right.

1:12:14🔗 Adam I'll get up in the morning after a good eight hours, head into the next room, go do something, and then come back into the bedroom and give that.

1:12:23🔗 Drew Whoa.

1:12:24🔗 Adam Hey.

1:12:25🔗 Drew Who's been here?

1:12:25🔗 Adam What went on here? What's up in here?

1:12:29🔗 Drew Little gas, little funk.

1:12:32🔗 Adam Little bad breath, little BO. What's going on in here? I'd love to blame it on some nationality or some other being, but I realize, no, I just spent the last eight hours funking up the room and now I left and now I'm back and it's me. It's definitely me.

1:12:53🔗 Drew The funk monster.

1:12:54🔗 Adam It's not too bad, but it's definitely a little, hey, what's this? And I don't know what that is, Drew. I think it may be a little gas. I should sleep the windows open or something. I turned the, actually the fan is on. Could be worse.

1:13:08🔗 Drew You can wash your sheets once in a while.

1:13:10🔗 Adam What are those things called?

1:13:11🔗 Drew Sheets. Oh, you don't use sheets.

1:13:13🔗 Adam They come off of the mat. That's not part of the mattress then, right? Oh, that's right, because the mattress was different when I got it. Yeah. You ever go into a guy's room that has been like drinking all night and passed out? Like you ever go roust one of your buddies? You don't do that, Drew.

1:13:27🔗 Drew Well, not to do it.

1:13:28🔗 Adam You don't have male friends.

1:13:29🔗 Drew But patient comes in.

1:13:30🔗 Adam I can't come after that.

1:13:32🔗 Drew I know exactly what you're talking about.

1:13:34🔗 Adam Man, I mean, I could remember going over to my buddies, like going over to Weez's house on Sunday, like one in the afternoon. And he was still in bed because, you know, he'd been, you know, banging his parents. They're like, yeah, he's in his room. Go get him up, you know. Stayed up smoking weed and drinking until three in the morning. And it's a small room. And the space heater's on. Now, here's the real killer. During the winter, you turn that space heater on, but you don't shut it off. So by noon the next day, it's 97 degrees in the room, but you're so loaded and passed out. And you've been belching up that alcohol and blowing gas all night. It's a little room, and you just open the door, and that big wave of hot stink comes out. And the person has no idea, because they're just living in it. Yeah, that's living, brother. Oops, oh, I don't know what I did.

1:14:22🔗 Drew I'm up on four. Put a hole, quit four again. Now, quick, quick, quick.

1:14:26🔗 Adam Really?

1:14:27🔗 Drew You there?

1:14:28🔗 I'm here.

1:14:29🔗 Drew Okay, what's going on?

1:14:30🔗 How you doing? I want to know about anthrax. I hear about it in the news. I want to know what the symptoms are and what exactly does it do to your system.

1:14:39🔗 Adam What's your name in that? How old are you?

1:14:41🔗 I'm Doug. My name is Doug. I'm 30.

1:14:44🔗 Adam All right.

1:14:45🔗 Drew Basically, it's hard thing to describe unless you have sort of medical training, but it overwhelms your system. You get a tremendous pneumonia. It actually gets into your gut, needs through the wall of the gut. Once it gets established, no amount of treatment really does much.

1:15:01🔗 I was told that the spores get into your lungs, clog up the pores and it grows and then it explodes and it fills your lungs with fluid.

1:15:08🔗 Drew That's called pneumonia. That's called pneumonia. It's just an overwhelming pneumonia.

1:15:13🔗 Adam Well, let's talk about this for one second because I'm sure people have a lot of questions about this. And I'm a layman, so I'll just approach it from that standpoint. There's different types of anthrax, right?

1:15:27🔗 Drew Different genetic strains, yeah.

1:15:29🔗 Adam And there's a type that's subcutaneous stuff that gets in through your skin.

1:15:34🔗 Drew That's how you're exposed to it more than the type of drug.

1:15:38🔗 Adam Well yeah, but, well, so...

1:15:41🔗 Drew So if it's sitting on the table here and you touch it and you have a small cut in your skin, now you have cutaneous anthrax.

1:15:46🔗 Adam I see, or there's the stuff you could ingest, or you could inhale.

1:15:50🔗 Drew Yeah, if it's a powder.

1:15:51🔗 Adam But it's more how fine it is, right? I mean, if it's in a powdered form, it would be much easier to inhale.

1:15:58🔗 Drew The powder is designed to be inhaled. That's why they put in powder.

1:16:01🔗 Adam Right. So I mean, yes, it's the same. It's like drugs. It's like you can snort heroin, or you can shoot it, or you can smoke it. It's the same drug. But you couldn't shoot the stuff you were supposed to snort unless you made it into a different form.

1:16:16🔗 Drew Right.

1:16:17🔗 Adam Boy, am I good. Do I ever get credit for this kind of stuff?

1:16:20🔗 Drew Keep going.

1:16:21🔗 Adam I always have to stop. Thanks, Ann.

1:16:24🔗 Drew That's the route of...

1:16:25🔗 Adam The moray eel from the fish tank. Just give it a two thumbs up.

1:16:28🔗 Drew That's the route of exposure.

1:16:29🔗 Adam Okay. But again, I'm a layman, and I think everyone who's listening is. We just want to clarify this stuff, because they do make it seem as if there's three different. And they even talk about some forms being more dangerous than others, meaning the stuff that you inhale could be worse than the stuff that you...

1:16:49🔗 Drew Oh, the skin is no problem.

1:16:51🔗 Adam The skin is an easier form.

1:16:53🔗 Drew Skin can be treated.

1:16:54🔗 Adam Skin can be treated.

1:16:55🔗 Drew No problem.

1:16:55🔗 Adam So now, then, the stuff that is coming via the male...

1:17:00🔗 Drew Yes.

1:17:01🔗 Adam Obviously, that could be inhaled, but it would be more apt to get it through your skin?

1:17:05🔗 Drew They're clearly trying... All you gotta do is, you know, when you open the letter, pow, it's in the air. Now you have a couple people inhale it. Right. The problem is, you don't know you've inhaled it. It's doing its work before you really realize you're getting sick.

1:17:17🔗 Adam Right.

1:17:18🔗 Drew And that's where the hell breaks loose.

1:17:19🔗 Adam Okay, now the skin stuff would not get in unless there was a cut or something like that.

1:17:25🔗 Drew Which is, you know, any little cuticle thing will do it.

1:17:27🔗 Adam Yeah, but is it almost like AIDS? That way you mean HIV?

1:17:31🔗 Drew No.

1:17:32🔗 Adam Much easier to get in?

1:17:33🔗 Drew Much, much, much.

1:17:34🔗 Adam But your average person, I mean, you...

1:17:36🔗 Drew Would get it. You are? Yeah.

1:17:38🔗 Adam I'm looking at my hand, I don't see anything.

1:17:40🔗 Drew Look at the little thing there on my fingernails.

1:17:42🔗 Adam You pulled his penis out. Why?

1:17:44🔗 Drew I just wanted you to look at it.

1:17:45🔗 Adam Well, yeah, oh listen, you're paranoid, Dr. Drew. I don't have any cuts on my hand. Do you think it would get in through my hand?

1:17:51🔗 Drew Yes. Microscopic cuts.

1:17:53🔗 Adam Then it doesn't really need it. Then they shouldn't phrase it that way.

1:17:56🔗 Drew All right.

1:17:57🔗 Adam Because when they say it enters through a cut in your hand, you're thinking, okay, I have no visible cut on my hand. I'm safe. But you're saying it will get in under your fingernail and absorb that way anyway. Okay. So that just gets in through touching it. Although, Drew is pretty paranoid, so you never know. He could be lying. They're exaggerating a little bit.

1:18:16🔗 Drew We have very little experience with this organism in this country. So this is how we understand it.

1:18:22🔗 Adam So you got this stuff. You can inhale it. You can have it enter through your skin. Then there's the kind that enters. Is there a third way?

1:18:34🔗 Drew The stuff you're coughing up and stuff eventually gets down into your gut now. So you swallow some of that, and it keeps going.

1:18:40🔗 Adam But I'm guessing if you put some on your tongue, you'd get it too, right?

1:18:45🔗 Drew I don't know that. I'm guessing you're right, but I don't know how that would work. I've never seen that kind of thing described.

1:18:52🔗 Adam Okay. And then as far as these medicines to counteract this stuff, it's not going to do anything if you're on it and you don't get it. I mean, what I'm saying is those people that think they're going to take it and it's going to make them not get it, not get it, are incorrect.

1:19:12🔗 Drew Incorrect.

1:19:13🔗 Adam You would take it only after you got it. So hoarding this stuff is kind of ridiculous.

1:19:20🔗 Drew But I don't want to speak out of turn relative to the public health community, but here's, I think, what people's rationale is for hoarding Cipro.

1:19:29🔗 Adam Oh, they want to have it.

1:19:30🔗 Drew Yeah. Just in case there's some massive catastrophe, I've got mine.

1:19:34🔗 Caller Right.

1:19:35🔗 Drew Not, not I plan to take it, not I'm going to treat myself. It's just, right, jeez, if there's a shortage, you know, I'm also going to have water and a generator.

1:19:42🔗 Caller Right.

1:19:42🔗 Drew And that's, I think, the mentality that's taking this. The problem would be, is if people start taking the Cipro, we're going to have a real serious public health problem with other bacteria becoming terribly resistive to this very important medication.

1:19:54🔗 Caller Right.

1:19:54🔗 Adam Because in nature, wherever there's a move, there's a counter. That's right.

1:19:59🔗 Drew The bacteria will figure out how to get around us.

1:20:01🔗 Adam No free lunch, is Drew likes to say. All right. So you have this stuff and you have to take this stuff for like 60 days.

1:20:07🔗 Drew 60 days.

1:20:08🔗 Adam And you take one pill a day or 10 pills a day.

1:20:11🔗 Drew Two a day typically.

1:20:11🔗 Adam And the pills aren't real cheap. They're like four or five bucks a pill or something.

1:20:15🔗 Drew Four or five bucks a day, yeah.

1:20:17🔗 Adam Four or five bucks a day. And that's going to eliminate a lot of our listening audience by the way.

1:20:21🔗 Drew Right now, pow.

1:20:23🔗 Adam And so taking it in advance is not going to stop anything. Now this thing takes a while. You could get this infected with anthrax and not feel any effects for a number of weeks.

1:20:34🔗 Drew A week or two, that's right.

1:20:35🔗 Adam A week or two, but not a month.

1:20:37🔗 Drew I would think not.

1:20:38🔗 Adam And the problem is by the time the symptoms come around...

1:20:42🔗 Drew You're in trouble.

1:20:43🔗 Adam You're in trouble, but is it a death sentence?

1:20:46🔗 Drew No, but it is somewhat dependent on the dose you inhaled and the virulence of the strain.

1:20:53🔗 Caller It could be a death sentence.

1:20:54🔗 Adam And the way it got into you, perhaps? Or once it's in, it's in?

1:20:58🔗 Drew Inhaled. No, it's in.

1:20:59🔗 Adam No, you said inhaled, but they were saying that the subcutaneous stuff was a better way of getting it.

1:21:06🔗 Drew We can treat that one.

1:21:07🔗 Adam That's what I'm saying.

1:21:08🔗 Drew That one is no problem.

1:21:10🔗 Adam That's what I mean. So it's all inhaled.

1:21:11🔗 Drew The inhaled one is the problem. Yeah, that's the problem.

1:21:13🔗 Adam All right. And so then what should somebody do? I mean, now what about the people that are on the antibiotic who have tested negative for it and they're taking it as a precaution?

1:21:26🔗 Drew They probably, well, or what about the people that carry the bacteria, like in their nose, they're swabbed it out, but they don't have evidence of infection yet. I think they'd probably keep those people on 60 days, I suspect.

1:21:36🔗 Adam Now, if I was exposed to it, and then I got tested immediately and had no sign of it, why should I take this?

1:21:46🔗 Drew You shouldn't. If you're clear, free and clear, free and clear, then that's it.

1:21:49🔗 Adam And how do they test for it? They take some blood?

1:21:51🔗 Drew Nasal swabs and things.

1:21:53🔗 Adam Would it be in your... Okay.

1:21:56🔗 Drew But, you know, we're just spending a lot of time on anthrax, but anthrax is small potatoes compared to what I think we're going to see in the not too distant future, which is smallpox.

1:22:04🔗 Adam Smallpox?

1:22:05🔗 Drew That is going to be some heavy ass.

1:22:07🔗 Adam You're saying anthrax is small potatoes compared to something that's the word small right in the beginning of it?

1:22:11🔗 Drew That's right.

1:22:12🔗 Adam That kind of logic doesn't make sense to me.

1:22:14🔗 Drew You don't want to confuse it with bigpox.

1:22:15🔗 Adam Drew, you really know how to sell it. This is nothing compared. This is dwarfed by smallpox. So you think that's worse. Why is that worse?

1:22:28🔗 Drew That is no treatment. It's extremely contagious. They're talking about these guys infecting themselves and then just walking through malls and infecting thousands of people. There's no treatment. There's a vaccine, but not enough vaccine to cover anything. The military is controlling the vaccine.

1:22:45🔗 Adam Well, the vaccine, you'd want to... Would you have to be vaccinated before you got it? So once you get it, that's it?

1:22:53🔗 Drew Well, I've never seen this. I've seen some evidence to suggest that it's early that the vaccine may have some effect in fighting it. Maybe.

1:23:01🔗 Adam Now, here's the thing that's crazy about smallpox is we had it eliminated, but we kept it alive. It's bizarre. I mean, it's really right out of some sort of...

1:23:14🔗 Drew Tom Clancy novel.

1:23:15🔗 Adam Right, right. When I was going to go... I was going back even further than that, but crazy science fiction to think that we... This thing killed millions and millions of people throughout history, right? And what was it? Up until the turn of the century pretty much and even a little beyond, right? And then we got it under control, and we eliminated it, but we kept it. We kept it alive. And it's like, wasn't it in some basement in Russia or something? I mean, what does that mean? We had the actual virus, and it was only in one place.

1:23:48🔗 Drew It's like Jurassic Park, some little thing left behind.

1:23:51🔗 Adam Yeah, and the Russians had it, and we must have had one too, right? And now how do people then get the Russians? I mean, how did they get it? Don't know. But there was a point in time, maybe in the 60s or 70s, where we could have wiped it off the face of the earth, but we couldn't, we didn't want to make it extinct, in other words.

1:24:13🔗 Drew The man, you know.

1:24:14🔗 Adam Maybe it'll come back to haunt us. Okay, we'll take a little break. Geez, I don't know, lightning round? Huh? True doesn't like. What do you think? No? Ants yawning.

1:24:24🔗 Drew I don't have to talk about antarctic spawn blocks.

1:24:26🔗 Adam Ants yawning and saying no.

1:24:28🔗 Caller I wish you got out of that place.

1:24:30🔗 Adam Alright, hey, no skin off my ass, kitty. Save me some syllables. We'll be back. Hey, everybody. Oh, that's my theme song. Hey, jacket hung over the shoulder. Remember with the one finger holding up?

1:25:14🔗 Drew That's a cool move.

1:25:15🔗 Adam Shooting looks to everybody. Not actually pointing, but giving the nod when I recognize people.

1:25:23🔗 Drew This music playing in your head, and this music playing as we see you come in. That's right.

1:25:37🔗 Caller That's right.

1:25:38🔗 Adam As I say to the bartender, give me the usual, and he goes, I don't know who you are, man. All right. Let's talk to Michael as he knows the history of Smallpox. Michael.

1:25:52🔗 Caller Hello.

1:25:52🔗 Adam Hello.

1:25:53🔗 Caller Hey. Yeah. Drew was mentioning how Smallpox is kept in Russia.

1:25:57🔗 Drew Adam was saying that, yeah.

1:25:58🔗 Caller Yeah. What they did in Russia is they kept it there for bioweapons research for a little while, and now they still have in that lab. It's actually one of the worst strains there is, because it was designed for weaponizing.

1:26:13🔗 Adam Right.

1:26:14🔗 Caller So, now it's a shame the lab is poorly guarded and it's just run down.

1:26:20🔗 Adam I got to imagine with our, you know, recent communications and almost alliance with that part of the world, and that we're aware that they have things like this, acutely aware of it, the powers that be, that we wouldn't be in some contact with them and helping them beef up security a little bit.

1:26:42🔗 Drew Yeah, the theory is that the Russian Mafia got a hold of it.

1:26:44🔗 Caller Yeah, that's how we get it. The Russian Mafia can get a hold of it from a factory, from the lab and just sell it to the highest bidder.

1:26:53🔗 Adam Right.

1:26:54🔗 Caller They're not too well known for their scruples.

1:26:58🔗 Adam Right. So, you know anything else about Smallpox?

1:27:03🔗 Caller Well, I've actually been helping with some of the stuff for about two years now.

1:27:08🔗 Drew Why? Doing what?

1:27:11🔗 Caller There's some groups that are run by civilians to prepare hospitals for this kind of thing.

1:27:16🔗 Caller Huh.

1:27:17🔗 Caller Yeah. I can give you some more resources out there if you're interested in learning more.

1:27:21🔗 Drew When and on the air?

1:27:23🔗 Caller Too many to list on the air.

1:27:26🔗 Adam All right. So, what else do you know, Michael?

1:27:32🔗 Caller Well...

1:27:32🔗 Adam Michael, I don't want to bust your chance, but you essentially called and told me what we'd talked about before we went to break, which is the Russians have this smallpox.

1:27:41🔗 Drew What I like to know is that this is something I don't hear in the media enough is what should people actually do to prepare? I think it's really unfair to tell people, hey, there's this awful thing coming. Enjoy.

1:27:52🔗 Adam Well, what can you do to prepare?

1:27:53🔗 Drew Well, that's the question. I think there should be some suggestions offered. Do you have anything, Michael? Oh, boy. I don't know what that means.

1:28:01🔗 Adam He's in charge of the CDC, by the way, if Michael is.

1:28:04🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:28:05🔗 Adam All right, everybody.

1:28:06🔗 Caller People need to be vigilant. People in the hospitals need to watch for bizarre disease patterns. And one other common sign is, in a pharmacy, somebody might notice that all the cold medicines are flying off the shelf. And from this, people can do, there's, have you heard of the rapid flu test?

1:28:27🔗 Adam How does that go?

1:28:29🔗 Caller That somebody goes into the hospital, they get the flu test, and it gives the definitive yes or no if they have the flu.

1:28:35🔗 Drew That's how you detect flu epidemics.

1:28:38🔗 Caller Right.

1:28:38🔗 Adam All right.

1:28:39🔗 Caller So if everybody comes in with a flu-like illness and doesn't have the flu, then that's suspicious.

1:28:43🔗 Drew Watch out.

1:28:44🔗 Adam Is that how smallpox would present, as we say, in the...

1:28:48🔗 Drew In the lay community?

1:28:49🔗 Adam Lay community?

1:28:50🔗 Drew Yeah, it would look kind of like the flu to start with.

1:28:53🔗 Adam Well, wealth of knowledge at Michael.

1:28:54🔗 Drew How about if we all dressed up like Bubble Boy?

1:28:56🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:28:57🔗 Drew There you go. Why don't you get those resources from him on line 6?

1:29:01🔗 Adam Well, listen, here's the deal.

1:29:03🔗 Drew Line 6.

1:29:04🔗 Adam Drew, you're trying to get answers from young Michael. We didn't have any answers, but I don't think there are any answers.

1:29:10🔗 Drew I would hope that somebody would think through a sort of preparedness recommendation for you people, because there's always stuff to be done.

1:29:17🔗 Adam Well, but in terms of precautionary stuff, what would it be?

1:29:24🔗 Drew You know, what's going to happen? For instance, people need to feel like they're in control of their destiny a little bit.

1:29:30🔗 Adam I like the feeling of just flying through outer space drunk at a million miles an hour, and having zero control of my destiny.

1:29:37🔗 Drew None of us are surprised by that. But just the idea that if they're going to be quarantined, how do you prepare for that? Do you need a month worth of food in your house, if your household is going to be quarantined? How do you prepare for this? Do you have a room set aside?

1:29:49🔗 Adam If there's a smallpox outbreak, and you're told, hey, don't go to the mall, don't go to the market, don't go to places that are populated, stay in your home, well, how long would you have to stay in your home?

1:30:02🔗 Drew How long would you stay in your home?

1:30:03🔗 Adam But see, here's the problem. I think quite frankly, and I know Drew's angry at that. Well, it's really fear that's turned to anger. It's urine that's turned to ass, is what it is with Drew. But I don't think there's an answer. See, when the answer is too scary and unsatisfactory, and it's like stay in your house for an indefinite period of time, that's not an answer. You know what I mean? It's like when people say to you, how is it that I make sure I don't get AIDS? And you say, don't have sex. That's not really an answer.

1:30:35🔗 Drew But I find it.

1:30:36🔗 Adam See what I'm saying?

1:30:36🔗 Drew But that is an answer that you can at least work with. I think it's far more unacceptable to say, hey, don't prepare.

1:30:42🔗 Adam But look at this country and look at people's mentality and everybody doesn't have your education or your IQ. We're all far smarter than you are. No, if you say to the average John Q public, hey, listen, you may have to hold up in your house for six months, everything would fly off the shelves immediately. Do you see what I'm saying? They cannot do that responsibly. And they don't have an answer. So they're not going to give one. And the answer is too tough, so forget it. That's what's going on. Okay, thank you. Jean?

1:31:21🔗 Hello?

1:31:22🔗 Adam You're 21?

1:31:23🔗 Caller Uh-huh.

1:31:23🔗 Drew What's up, Jean?

1:31:24🔗 Adam You're young and alive?

1:31:25🔗 Caller Yeah, somewhat.

1:31:27🔗 Adam That's a song, you know.

1:31:28🔗 Caller Is it?

1:31:29🔗 Drew Long ago.

1:31:30🔗 Adam Never heard that one.

1:31:30🔗 Drew What's up?

1:31:31🔗 Caller No.

1:31:33🔗 Caller I have a bladder problem. I just, it's really embarrassing. I mean, I'm only 21, and I'm in college, and I'll be talking with a professor, or I'll be at the grocery store in line, and just all of a sudden have an uncontrollable release, you know.

1:31:50🔗 Drew Wow. Have you had a child?

1:31:51🔗 Caller No.

1:31:52🔗 Drew And your whole bladder empties?

1:31:53🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:31:54🔗 Caller Oof.

1:31:54🔗 Drew Is it when you're coughing or sneezing, something like that?

1:31:56🔗 Caller No.

1:31:57🔗 Caller It's not like that at all.

1:31:59🔗 Drew Are you on medication?

1:32:00🔗 Caller I'm only taking orthotricycline right now.

1:32:03🔗 Drew That's it, huh?

1:32:04🔗 Adam This birth control.

1:32:05🔗 Drew Oof. Yeah, you got to do your Kegel exercises, I guess. Boy.

1:32:08🔗 Adam Well, that's bad times. And let me tell you something. It's dripping down your leg now, but when you're in your 40s, it's going to be knocking people over. I mean, they'll just be flying out of you.

1:32:19🔗 Drew There are medications.

1:32:20🔗 Adam And number two.

1:32:21🔗 Drew You really need a thorough urologic evaluation to see if there's a problem, whether it's a spastic bladder or problems holding the urine.

1:32:28🔗 Caller Well, I don't even have like enough time. It's not like a sneeze where you know, okay, here it comes and you grab a...

1:32:32🔗 Drew How long has this been going on for?

1:32:34🔗 Caller Just for like a couple weeks.

1:32:36🔗 Drew Jean, you need to get this checked out. I'm dead serious about this. I mean, even things like MS can present like this. I don't want to scare you, but this is not something that's normal for a 21-year-old.

1:32:46🔗 Caller Oh, God.

1:32:47🔗 Adam Hey, Jean? You never heard the song, Jean, Jean, you're young and alive.

1:32:55🔗 Caller Okay, okay, it sounds worth it.

1:32:56🔗 Adam Do you know that song?

1:32:58🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:32:58🔗 Adam You do?

1:32:59🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:32:59🔗 Adam They do, because your name is Jean, right?

1:33:01🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:33:02🔗 Adam Your parents made sure you heard it?

1:33:03🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:33:04🔗 Drew Jean, do you take-

1:33:04🔗 Adam Okay, good.

1:33:05🔗 Drew I have a question. Do you take baths?

1:33:07🔗 Caller On occasion.

1:33:08🔗 Drew Do you take a bath? Do you have any trouble getting out of the bathtub or pain or anything when you're in the bathtub?

1:33:12🔗 Caller No.

1:33:12🔗 Adam All right. We can smell you from here. That's why I was asking. No, no, go get that checked out. Yeah, see, listen, parents, if you name your kid a name and there's a song with that name in it, it's incumbent on you to- Teach them the song. Yeah. Sometimes I hear a kid with a name and there's a song and they don't know the name. They don't know the song.

1:33:33🔗 Drew The temerity of those parents.

1:33:34🔗 Adam Yeah, that's bad parenting.

1:33:36🔗 Drew How dare they?

1:33:37🔗 Adam Here, so you know the Gene Gene song? You want me to sing it again?

1:33:40🔗 Caller No.

1:33:41🔗 Drew Okay.

1:33:41🔗 Caller We'll be back. Hey, hey, hey.

1:33:43🔗 Caller Do you know the Adam song?

1:33:44🔗 Adam Yeah. Adam, Adam, Bobanum, Pananum.

1:33:47🔗 Caller No, no. It's a Blink-182 song, but apparently you don't know it.

1:33:50🔗 Adam The Blink? Oh, yeah, I do know the Adam song. Yeah. How dare you? The Blink, they're personal friends of mine. I know those boys.

1:33:56🔗 Drew Dear, dear friends.

1:33:57🔗 Adam Dear, dear friends of mine, we'll be back.

1:34:00🔗 Caller All right, guys, here's the deal.

1:34:02🔗 Caller You're looking to hook up, sick of wasting time with the wrong person?

1:34:05🔗 Caller One call is all you need to make.

1:34:07🔗 Caller Call the Dateline.

1:34:08🔗 Caller 877-889-DATE.

1:34:48🔗 Drew A little walkthrough musical history here.

1:34:50🔗 Adam Yeah, Drew and I.

1:34:50🔗 Drew Nice.

1:34:52🔗 Adam All right, everybody, that's the week. Thanks for tuning in. I want to thank Damian for doing a great job on the phones all week long. I want to thank Tara. Tara, don't call me Tara. Now, for doing a great job on the phones and the coffee and everything else around here. Lauren, is she standing up back there? No. Jump up, Lauren. Let's see if I can see her head.

1:35:17🔗 Drew She's at home reading about Anthrax.

1:35:19🔗 Adam I see. I want to thank producer Ann for just doing a spectacular job. I mean, Lit, Ozzy Osbourne, Smash Mouth. Great week. Tony Hawk coming up next week. Travis next week. Just booking some world-class guests on the show. A new starter. And I want to thank engineer Anderson for sliding in potentiometers. And putting in wonderful drops like that. So until next time, this is Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew saying, Mahalo.

1:35:47🔗 Caller No, it's just like, you guys seem like teenagers.

1:35:50🔗 Adam Oh, yeah.

1:35:50🔗 Caller Your voices are like old.

1:35:53🔗 Caller This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors or the station. The producer for Loveline is Ann Wilkins Dingle. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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