Monday, September 10, 2001

2:58🔗 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised.

3:02🔗 Go!

3:04🔗 Voiceover Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew Loveline, Coast to Coast.

3:09🔗 Voiceover Hey, it's Loveline. How you doing out there? How you all doing? Phone number, 1-800-LOVE-191, Dr. Drew, Board Certified Physician, Addiction Medicine Specialist. You know, I was just thinking, I don't know why it popped in my head, but I realized I was thinking about working out all day today. Here's really the story of my life. I used to do this in school, and now I do it as it pertains to any chore of life. I don't actually do whatever it is I'm thinking about doing. I just spend the whole day thinking about it. And I may as well just have done it at the endpoint.

3:46🔗 Drew Yeah, they have a name for that.

3:47🔗 Adam What do they call it?

3:47🔗 Drew Procrastination.

3:49🔗 Yeah.

3:50🔗 Adam But this isn't classic procrastination. It's not really putting it off so much as it is almost obsessing about it, or sort of lamenting it and then not doing it. But I should have done it anyway.

4:05🔗 Drew That special biological switch that you've got, that neurologic mechanism that causes something to go from the idea to the action.

4:12🔗 Adam Yeah. Don't do that.

4:13🔗 Drew Sort of blocked there.

4:15🔗 Adam No. But one time I did have an idea about having other ideas and I let myself go on that one. I had more ideas after that.

4:24🔗 Drew I imagine if one of those ideas included masturbation. Yeah.

4:29🔗 Adam I didn't miss that. But all I'm saying is at about five o'clock today, I said, yeah, I'm going to work out at about 6.30. I said, I'm going to work out. Then I said, I'm going to take a nap and then I'm going to work out. Then I said, I'm going to eat dinner, then I'm going to work out. Then I was putzing around watching Monday Night Football about 9.45. And I thought, well, the window is closing on the workout. You got to do it now. And then I didn't do it. But I really felt like I did because it took up five hours of my life anyway. Shouldn't I get some points? It reminds me of when I was in school, when the test was, when the paper was due on Monday, I'd sort of lament about it the entire weekend.

5:09🔗 Drew Yeah, ruin your weekend, but actually not do the work.

5:11🔗 Adam Ruin the weekend. Never did. Got an F and a ruined weekend. Those are the Corollas. That's what I want to teach you people how to do. A lot of you people are listening are good at that stuff and you people don't need my help. But we still have some people listening who could use a little kick in the pants. Gary?

5:29🔗 Yeah.

5:30🔗 Adam You're 18?

5:31🔗 Caller Yeah.

5:31🔗 Adam What's up?

5:32🔗 Caller My question is, I told my girlfriend that I was going to be joining the Army and she gave me an ultimatum.

5:42🔗 Drew Ultimatum?

5:44🔗 Caller Huh?

5:44🔗 Adam I think it's a mmm at the end.

5:46🔗 Drew Uh-huh.

5:47🔗 Caller Go ahead. She said either join and forget about her or stay with her.

5:55🔗 Drew How long have you been with her?

5:56🔗 Caller For about a month now.

5:57🔗 Drew Oh, come on. How long have you been attending to go in the Army? The Army.

6:01🔗 Caller I told her it's going to be free.

6:04🔗 Drew No, no. How long have you been intending to go into the Army?

6:07🔗 Caller I've been intending to go in the Army my whole life.

6:10🔗 Drew Your whole life. So this is a lifetime idea. This is your goal, your career goal. Yeah. And you've known this girl for a month and she's being a pain in the ass. She's manipulative.

6:21🔗 Adam Well, it's really since he saw his SAT scores when he saw his 450 on the SATs is when he really... that really clinched the decision for him.

6:29🔗 Drew For the Army.

6:30🔗 Adam Right. Gary?

6:31🔗 Caller Yeah.

6:32🔗 Adam What do you want to do in the Army?

6:34🔗 Get on your knees, scumbag!

6:36🔗 Caller I want to become a computer technician.

6:40🔗 Adam Uh-huh. All right. Yeah, where do you... do you have to get shipped out somewhere?

6:44🔗 I don't know. I mean, probably.

6:46🔗 Drew I just think that at 18, someone that cannot support your lifetime goal is not worthy of being your girlfriend, and she's only been your girlfriend for a month anyway.

6:57🔗 Adam I think you're making this Army thing a little too noble, though, Drew.

7:00🔗 Drew He said he's always wanted to do it, though.

7:01🔗 Adam This is one... you know what Army... let me tell you that where Army is between. Army is between prison and junior college for high school grads. It goes, junior college... no, I'm starting at the bottom. The worst case scenario, junior college. Second worst scenario, Army, third prison.

7:22🔗 Drew Well, where would you rather he be, prison?

7:24🔗 Adam In the second slot?

7:25🔗 Drew Yeah. And no, I mean, if he doesn't go to Army...

7:28🔗 Adam He might end up in junior college.

7:29🔗 Drew He's not going to junior college. That could be, you know...

7:31🔗 Adam Either way, you're just basically raping the system. We dump a bunch of money into you, you waste a bunch of ammunition, and then we have to pay for your medical and dental for the rest of your life.

7:41🔗 Drew I just think it's what he wants to do. And she can't support that. What the hell? That's not a relationship.

7:46🔗 Adam Fine, fine. Josh?

7:48🔗 Yeah.

7:49🔗 Adam You're 17?

7:49🔗 Caller Yeah.

7:50🔗 Caller What's up? First of all, I really, really like your guy's show.

7:54🔗 Adam Thanks, Josh.

7:55🔗 Caller Yeah. Basically, I was born with a bilateral cleft lip and palate, and I've had 13 surgeries. I have two more. I have a LaForte one in November, and then another nasal reconstruction thing when I'm finally done growing. And basically, I mean, I'm a pretty popular kid at school. I mean, I have a lot of friends. I have a lot of friends that are girls, and I've never, ever had sort of an intimate relationship with a girl. I mean, I've never kissed a girl or anything like that.

8:25🔗 Drew Do you have much deformity or defect from the palate?

8:28🔗 Caller No, it's really not bad. I had a really, really good doctor in Atlanta, and it's really, really not bad.

8:35🔗 Drew Are you wanting to blame... You know, you noticed the guy that played Marcus Aurelius' son in Gladiator? Had a club palate?

8:43🔗 Caller Yeah.

8:43🔗 Drew You know, Adam, you know what I'm saying?

8:44🔗 Adam No, I don't even... I don't know what it looks like. I mean, is he one of the Phoenix brothers? Which son?

8:51🔗 Drew Yeah, yeah, yeah.

8:52🔗 Adam Was it Lake Phoenix or Bayou Phoenix or Delta Phoenix or...

8:56🔗 Drew Joaquin.

8:57🔗 Adam Joaquin Phoenix, yeah, that's right.

8:59🔗 Drew Well, they...

9:00🔗 Adam His brother, Joaquin, is an amazing actor. Have you seen him? He's got a little brother trotting. What's... No, he's a weird looking guy.

9:11🔗 Drew But when you're born, you're out with a big hole here. Nothing joins... This doesn't join up, it's just a giant hole.

9:17🔗 Adam Is that what the... Hold on, Drew, explain what you're doing. What do you have that?

9:21🔗 Drew I figured everyone else except you knows what I'm talking about. It's just that your upper lid is just open. It doesn't come together there under your nose. Sometimes even the nose can be open.

9:29🔗 Adam What do you mean it's just open under your lip?

9:31🔗 Drew It just doesn't come together.

9:32🔗 Adam What do you mean it doesn't come together? He has a hole there?

9:35🔗 Drew Yes.

9:36🔗 Caller I had a hole that basically lead into my side.

9:39🔗 Adam Hold on a second.

9:40🔗 Drew You've never seen that?

9:41🔗 Adam I don't see Joaquin Phoenix's hole in his lip.

9:44🔗 Drew He's all sewed up like Josh is. And so what you see is a little pulling of the nostril and a lift of the sleeve of that lip. His lip's kind of sneered because he's pulled up.

9:54🔗 Adam I guess so, but then there's just certain guys that have certain looks, too. It's not all something. All right.

10:01🔗 Drew Would you agree, Josh? Did you see Gladiator?

10:03🔗 Adam Oh, yeah, yeah. He had it?

10:04🔗 Drew Yeah.

10:05🔗 Adam I know he had a boob job. I could see that. All right. Keep ready with that, Anderson. There's going to be a lot of bad ones tonight.

10:12🔗 I feel it.

10:13🔗 Adam Okay. So you turned out okay. So you're blaming this on that?

10:18🔗 Caller No. I mean, it's not really that. It's just basically, I mean, I see all these girls and I mean, I've been through a lot with this with all the teasing and everything that came along with it as a kid. Kids are great. Kids are just horrible to me. Right. And it made me stronger as a person really and it made me look at basic teenage stuff and as real trivial. And because of that, I guess girls really sort of identified with me and confided in me. And basically, I always ended up, I talk to girls, I try to be outgoing and I try to build sort of an intimate relationship with them and it would always end up and then telling me their guy problems.

11:02🔗 Drew Would you ask them out on a date?

11:04🔗 Caller Oh yeah, all the time. I mean all the time. And it would end up, we would go out to dinner and they would just tell me about these guys they liked and how much jerks they are to them.

11:14🔗 Drew You know what though, maybe that's the kind of the specific girls you're choosing to go out with more than anything.

11:19🔗 Adam Are you starting your senior year?

11:20🔗 Caller Yeah, I just started my senior year.

11:22🔗 Adam Okay, well, yeah. Is there any new chicks around?

11:26🔗 Caller No, actually, well, I just switched schools, but basically at my old school, I mean, I went out with a bunch of different...

11:34🔗 Adam Alright. I just thought of a tagging system they should have with that new blood who you haven't screwed up or embarrassed yourself in front of. You know those...

11:44🔗 Drew Caribou tags?

11:45🔗 Adam Well, no, I'm looking for something a little more visible, those orange flags they used to put on the bicycles.

11:50🔗 Drew Like dune buggies?

11:51🔗 Adam Yeah, like a dune buggy antenna-type flag or something they put on a bicycle. It's basically a fiberglass fishing pole with an orange flag on it.

12:00🔗 Drew You never lose sight of them.

12:02🔗 Adam You got to wear those around for the first semester. The girls you haven't effed up in front of yet.

12:07🔗 Right.

12:07🔗 Adam They're easier to spot that way. Okay, listen, he's in a new school.

12:11🔗 Drew He needs to ask people out.

12:12🔗 Ask them out.

12:13🔗 Drew I think it's more about the kind of person he's asking out than how he's behaving. Yeah, and he's asking out the hot girls who like a-hole guys. He's not an a-hole.

12:25🔗 Adam Here's the other thing too, 16-year-old girls, 17-year-old girls, Drew tell me if you agree or disagree with this. They are looking to be taken by the hand and led a little bit. And when you put a question mark behind everything, they won't buy into it. Right. Half of it is just buying into it. They almost want to feel secure. It's like this. It's like they're wandering around the wilderness and they want some guy to go, hey, I was a scout master. I got a compass up my ass. Do north is this way. Let's go. Move out. And they'll just start following the guy. But if you show up and go, I don't know. What do you think? I don't know. What do you think? They'll go, screw you. I'm going on my own. They want that. Now look, if they hate you, they ain't going. But many a guy has got many a date out of just a good, swift, strong move. You got to do it, especially at that age.

13:20🔗 Drew Absolutely.

13:21🔗 Adam All right. Ether rag, duct tape, headlock.

13:25🔗 Drew Corolla Method.

13:26🔗 Adam No problem. James?

13:28🔗 Yes.

13:28🔗 Adam You're 23.

13:30🔗 Caller Yes, that's correct.

13:30🔗 Adam Hey, Drew, is there any chicks calling tonight? No. Hold on a second.

13:34🔗 Drew Alana. Six.

13:36🔗 Adam Where are they?

13:37🔗 Drew Line six. One.

13:37🔗 Adam Where's the chick?

13:39🔗 Drew Line six.

13:39🔗 Adam I know, but I'm yelling at Damien over there. Alana?

13:43🔗 Yes.

13:43🔗 Adam You're 17?

13:44🔗 Caller Yes.

13:45🔗 Adam What's up?

13:47🔗 Caller I was diagnosed with depression in seventh grade. Good times. I've been off medication for probably about the past four months.

13:53🔗 Drew Been doing okay?

13:55🔗 Caller I've been doing okay. I'm about to start college in October, and my mom thinks that I should go back on medication.

14:02🔗 Drew Are you moving away from college?

14:04🔗 Caller No, I'm still going to be living at home. It's about a 30-minute drive away.

14:08🔗 Drew Well, your mom shouldn't be making those kinds of clinical decisions, so I think more importantly, you should be under supervision, under care, letting somebody make those decisions who has clinical judgment. And then whatever they think you should do, you should do.

14:19🔗 Caller Well, I've been in counseling, and I have a psychiatrist and things.

14:24🔗 Drew What do they say?

14:26🔗 Caller Well, my counselor, he's not real sure. He doesn't want to tell me what to do. He wants me to decide on my own.

14:31🔗 Drew Okay. Like a good therapist?

14:35🔗 Adam Yeah, it's great.

14:36🔗 Caller Yeah.

14:38🔗 Drew That's why years have been waiting for you to talk about your masturbatory habits for 12 years.

14:41🔗 Adam That's the greatest gig in the world, that therapist. You don't actually have to do anything and you make 80 bucks an hour.

14:46🔗 Drew Go ahead. What's the psychiatrist saying?

14:49🔗 Caller I haven't seen him in probably about six months.

14:53🔗 Drew All right. Well, why don't you decide to go see him for an evaluation and then make your decision?

14:57🔗 Caller Okay.

14:57🔗 Drew Okay.

14:58🔗 Adam You going to art college?

14:59🔗 Caller Yes.

15:00🔗 Adam Yeah. Says that up on the screen, you know. Yeah. What do you do?

15:04🔗 Caller I'm planning on being a chef.

15:06🔗 Drew Oh, nice. A lot of that these days.

15:09🔗 Adam You get to do food in art college? Really? What else do they do that doesn't have to do with paper mache?

15:16🔗 Drew Cars. Car design.

15:18🔗 Adam You get to design cars?

15:21🔗 Caller I have no idea. I haven't looked into any of that.

15:23🔗 Adam It's really, it's called art college and they have a culinary department? What?

15:27🔗 Caller The Art Institute.

15:29🔗 Adam Wow. Where's that?

15:30🔗 Caller Fashion design, interior decorating, web design.

15:33🔗 Adam Cake making? Then you make cakes?

15:38🔗 Caller All kinds of stuff.

15:40🔗 Adam Let me tell you something at a young age, it's going to save you a lot of trouble. Your agreement, when you're green, you go, and you're, what are you talking about? Aren't too far apart? There's going to be a lot of stumbling.

15:53🔗 Caller Yeah.

15:53🔗 Adam You see what I'm saying?

15:54🔗 Caller Yeah.

15:55🔗 Adam Yeah. See, there you go. You change your mm-hmm to yeah. Smart. All right, Alana. Good luck. Thank you. Have fun.

16:02🔗 Caller Bye-bye.

16:04🔗 Adam Jesus Christ. Could you imagine a career in food preparation?

16:10🔗 Drew On your own restaurant. Be interesting.

16:11🔗 Adam How could you not pick at what you're eating?

16:14🔗 Drew Are you kidding?

16:15🔗 Adam Impossible. Impossible.

16:17🔗 Drew You and I imagine that.

16:18🔗 Adam If I'm holding a sandwich and somebody said, the President of the United States is on hold, he'll be with you in 10 seconds, and I was holding a BLT.

16:27🔗 Drew Go in your mouth.

16:29🔗 Adam I'd just take a huge bite of it. I can't do that. I take huge...

16:33🔗 Drew I can't make my kids lunch without eating it. Good morning.

16:36🔗 Adam Have you... the hypothetical... Oh, no. Real question. Have you ever sliced cheese up, like from a block of cheese?

16:43🔗 Drew Yeah. Some for me, some for me, some for the President.

16:47🔗 Adam Without eating the first, third and fifth slice? It's impossible.

16:52🔗 Drew Impossible.

16:53🔗 Adam I'm telling you, when I call people and the phone is ringing and I'm holding a sandwich, I will look at the sandwich, I'll hear the ringing going, I'll go, look, they're going to pick the phone up. Don't take, don't take the bite. Don't take the bite. Don't take the bite. And I shove it right in my mouth. There's no way I could... Every omelet I'd make would be a four egg omelet, one egg. For me, you get the three eggs. I'll just sit there and eat right over the flame. James?

17:16🔗 Caller Yes?

17:16🔗 Adam Year 23, what's up?

17:18🔗 Caller Yeah, I'm wondering, since about July 1st, it's very hard to get an erection. My penis is like small, almost as if you get out of the water for like 50% of the day.

17:30🔗 Drew You on vacation?

17:32🔗 Caller No.

17:32🔗 Drew Did you do something to it?

17:33🔗 Caller I was bodyboarding around June 21st, and like the water was cold. My penis was shrugging up in the cold water, and just pinched slightly on the bodyboard. That was the only thing I can think it happened, and now it's like really hard to get an erection.

17:49🔗 Drew You're not on any medication?

17:50🔗 Caller No. It's almost like there's no blood flow. It's numb, and I can't-

17:56🔗 Drew Do you ride a bike a lot?

17:57🔗 Caller No, not a lot. I've ridden a bike for a while. There's like no blood flow. Like in the middle of the day, it's warm outside, and my penis head will be actually cold, which is really weird.

18:09🔗 Drew You're tucked in when it's-

18:11🔗 Adam Maybe your dick is haunted. No?

18:16🔗 Caller No, but-

18:17🔗 Drew Have you had an evaluation to see if-

18:18🔗 Adam I saw the others last weekend, so I'm kind of on this jag now.

18:22🔗 Drew Is there something else going on, like a thyroid problem or something else that might sort of be just getting your whole system off?

18:27🔗 Caller No, I'm totally healthy.

18:29🔗 Drew Well, you don't know that. You have to get checked out. I mean, if you were like-

18:32🔗 Caller Well, last time I had a physical, there was nothing wrong with like my blood work or anything.

18:35🔗 Drew Is that since this has been happening?

18:39🔗 Caller That was probably about six months prior. All right.

18:41🔗 Drew Well, now it's different. Now you've got a symptom here. You really described me something. I mean, there is something going on.

18:46🔗 Adam I mean, a 23-year-old guy's been without the use of his penis for, what, two, three months now, a couple of months. What do you say, beginning of July?

18:54🔗 Drew Yeah.

18:54🔗 Adam James, what is that? July, I don't know, man.

18:57🔗 Drew Are you having any sexual desire problems? I mean, do you think sexual thoughts anymore? Or did you ever?

19:03🔗 Caller Yeah, I do still. It used to be I could get it up like 10 times a day and ejaculate. Now it's like nothing.

19:09🔗 Adam But you have not beat off in three months?

19:12🔗 Caller Maybe a couple of times, but then afterwards it just, boom, rides a limp and there's almost no feeling in the head.

19:18🔗 Adam So you do get the erection?

19:20🔗 Caller Yeah, I can, but it used to be I could get it on command at any time, and now it's like, it's not there in life.

19:25🔗 Drew Do you have back pain?

19:27🔗 Adam No.

19:27🔗 Drew Headaches? No. No other medical problems or other symptoms at all? You don't feel cold all the time, anything like that?

19:33🔗 Adam How about gas?

19:38🔗 Caller And I used to wake up to know what morning would all the time, and now it's like.

19:41🔗 Drew Yeah, but that's a sign that it's a medical problem. Oh, Drew, you.

19:49🔗 Adam Oh, let me get some to fan it. Now that makes me laugh like a good part. Oh, that's. Yeah. All right. Well, you got to see the doctor, right, Drew? That'll let a nice one fly.

20:15🔗 Drew Oh, man.

20:16🔗 Adam Let's see the doctor, right?

20:17🔗 Drew The fact that he doesn't have morning wood really shows how medical this is. I mean, this could be.

20:21🔗 Adam Urologist?

20:22🔗 Drew It's just for starters, yeah. I mean, this could be a lot of different things and it needs to be sort of worked out.

20:27🔗 Adam Christina.

20:28🔗 Drew Oh, my God.

20:29🔗 Adam Yeah, I had a little punch. Oh, you're 19. What's up?

20:32🔗 Caller I had a question. I well, this is what's going on, you know, every time I'm with my boyfriend.

20:39🔗 Adam Yeah.

20:40🔗 Caller For some reason, when he like when he touches me like around anywhere, you know, to stimulate me, whatever. Yeah. I get to urge like to pee. Like I have to go to the bathroom.

20:51🔗 Drew What does he do to stimulate you?

20:52🔗 Caller Well, either he either if he's like licking me or kissing me or either just, you know, putting the fingers around it, touching anywhere.

21:05🔗 Drew Is that always been that way or is this your first partner?

21:08🔗 Caller No, it's well, actually just with him. I mean, because I feel...

21:13🔗 Adam Hey, Christine, we got a Mexican soap going on in the background.

21:16🔗 Drew It sounds like a scene out of a Vita or something.

21:18🔗 Adam What's going on back there?

21:19🔗 Drew Che out there barking away.

21:22🔗 Adam Hi. What were you watching?

21:24🔗 Caller Oh, it's my mom. She's...

21:26🔗 Adam Oh, really?

21:26🔗 Caller Yeah.

21:27🔗 Adam Mexican soap opera.

21:28🔗 Drew It's cleared up pretty nicely in here.

21:30🔗 Caller I'm sorry?

21:30🔗 Caller Cleared up fast.

21:31🔗 Drew All right.

21:32🔗 Adam So you're out of the way of your mom? She's got quite a voice.

21:36🔗 Caller I'm in my room.

21:37🔗 Adam All right. So anyway, boy, you're talking that freely in front of your mom?

21:41🔗 Caller No. I'm in my room.

21:43🔗 Adam I know, but I can hear your mom clearly in the background.

21:46🔗 Caller Really?

21:47🔗 Adam Yeah. So that means that she might be able to hear you talking about your boyfriend licking on you.

21:52🔗 Caller No, she can't.

21:53🔗 Adam Okay. All right.

21:55🔗 Drew But Father McConaughey in the living room, he might be able to.

21:58🔗 Adam Okay. So he touches you and he stimulates you, and you feel as if you have to go to the bathroom when you're stimulated. Even if he doesn't put anything in you, just on you.

22:11🔗 Caller When he's like inside me.

22:12🔗 Adam Well, that I'm hip to.

22:14🔗 Drew But when you're inside what? You do have it or don't have it then?

22:17🔗 Caller Well, sometimes, not all the time.

22:18🔗 Drew So it's not when he's inside you don't have it then?

22:20🔗 Caller You're inside or outside.

22:21🔗 Drew Why don't you just evacuate your bladder before you engage in these activities and then not worry about it?

22:26🔗 Adam That means pee.

22:27🔗 Drew He's irritating your urethra through what he's doing, and it can make you feel like you want to pee.

22:32🔗 Caller Okay, because like, I mean, either it's like I'm sitting on top of him or if I'm laying down, I guess he like rubs on it.

22:39🔗 Drew Right.

22:39🔗 Caller And you know, it makes me like want to urine for season. I have to stop, I have to go to the bathroom, you know, it's a moment.

22:46🔗 Adam But you know, yeah. What do you guys use them for protection?

22:50🔗 Caller Condoms.

22:50🔗 Adam All right. Maybe you get on that birth control, right?

22:53🔗 Caller Yeah, thinking about it.

22:54🔗 Adam Well, you guys have you guys been together for a little while?

22:57🔗 Caller Yeah, we have a while.

22:58🔗 Drew How long?

22:59🔗 Caller We've been together for about seven months.

23:01🔗 Adam Okay. You guys having regular sex?

23:03🔗 Caller Yeah, pretty much.

23:04🔗 Adam Good times. Get on that birth control. There's condoms. They're not real reliable.

23:10🔗 Caller Okay.

23:11🔗 Adam Okay, baby?

23:12🔗 Caller Yeah, I will.

23:12🔗 Drew Good plan.

23:13🔗 Caller Hey, thanks.

23:14🔗 Drew All right.

23:14🔗 Adam Good times, right? Punch your mom in the stomach for me, all right? Wow, what a loud mouth in the background.

23:21🔗 Drew Really, it sounds like something about Argentinian film or something, like a political uprising.

23:25🔗 Adam It sounds like a Mexican soap opera going on in the background.

23:30🔗 Drew Mucho Gilgante.

23:31🔗 Adam I'll tell you, we make fun of the Mexicans sometimes on the show, but the greatest music in the world, the greatest, you cannot, you just can't beat that really, really, really, really super obnoxious squeeze boxing, you know.

23:48🔗 Drew No, that's not it. No, no, no.

23:50🔗 Adam It's the, it's that accordion going in the background with that big guitar that's just, I swear to God, I used to, I'd walk on a construction site, hung over, that'd be blaring through some, you know, drywallers radio, I'd, what, I'm going to go on a killing spree with, was it just to pick up a claw hammer, just to take out eight or nine people. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. All right, we're going to take a little break. When we come back, we'll speak to Derek, who's 20. He and his now dead brother are pod addicts. All right, they were molested by the dad. Well, this sounds good. All right, after this.

24:30🔗 1-800-LOVE-191.

24:36🔗 Adam Hey, everybody, Love Line. I'm Adam. That's Drew over there. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. OK, let's hop to the phone. So what do you say there, Druski?

24:48🔗 Caller Let's go.

24:48🔗 Adam All right, speak to Derek, who's 20. Derek?

24:53🔗 Caller Yeah?

24:53🔗 Adam Your brother died?

24:54🔗 Caller Yeah, he did. Of what? Oh, man, I don't know what to say. Me and pretty much all my brothers and sisters, there was six of us, and only one of us wasn't molested. And my brother is the one who told on my dad. And at the time, I was in the military. And this was back in February. And he called the cops, and my dad had always said, you know, if that ever happened to him, that he would kill himself before he went to prison. And...

25:31🔗 Adam Your dad had always stated that if he ever got busted for molesting any of his kids?

25:36🔗 Caller Yeah, that he would kill himself before he went to prison.

25:39🔗 Adam Who would he say that to?

25:41🔗 Drew All of them probably. That's how he kept him under control.

25:44🔗 Caller That's what I was thinking.

25:45🔗 Adam You mean he would say, look, if you ever tell anybody about this, and I get busted, I'll kill myself?

25:50🔗 Caller Yeah.

25:52🔗 Drew That's how they...

25:52🔗 Adam Well, I know it makes sense, but we don't hear about that.

25:56🔗 Drew Oh, no, they always use some sort of extreme measure. They either say, I'm going to kill your parents, or I'm going to kill you, or...

26:01🔗 Adam Yeah, we hear that, but I haven't heard the kill myself thing.

26:05🔗 Drew I know we haven't because you would have said, hey, good. Hold on.

26:09🔗 Adam Hey, good. Thanks. Yeah, so your brother told, is this your older brother or your younger brother?

26:15🔗 Caller My younger brother. He was 18.

26:17🔗 Adam 18. How long ago was this?

26:19🔗 Caller Oh, when he died or?

26:22🔗 Adam Yeah.

26:23🔗 Caller He died August 4th.

26:25🔗 Adam Oh, so very recently.

26:26🔗 Caller Yeah.

26:26🔗 Drew What did your brother die from?

26:28🔗 Caller He hung himself.

26:29🔗 Drew Your brother?

26:30🔗 Caller Yes.

26:30🔗 Adam So your brother told on, called the cops on your dad. And what happened?

26:36🔗 Caller The cops came to get him and my dad had a gun on him to kill himself. And he pulled it out. The cops said, you know, put it down. And the cop shot and missed him. And then the second shot hit my dad in the face and killed him.

26:49🔗 Drew Why?

26:51🔗 Adam Right, Drew?

26:52🔗 Drew I'm just thinking he must have been willing the gun at them, not at himself.

26:56🔗 Caller He had the gun to kill himself, of course. And the cops saw it and told him to put it down.

27:01🔗 Drew Sometimes people go out there in front of the police to try to get the police to shoot him.

27:04🔗 Caller Yeah, that was probably his deal.

27:06🔗 Adam Right.

27:08🔗 Caller And then... He always said he would do that. And it actually came down to it. And the cop was the one who actually killed him. And my brother was having trouble with his girlfriend and everything else going on at the time. And he really just could not take any more. And he hung himself.

27:24🔗 Adam And just days later, weeks later?

27:27🔗 Caller Well, my dad died in February and he died in August. So that's like, what, six months?

27:32🔗 Adam Right. And were you off in the military when all this went down?

27:36🔗 Caller Yeah, I was. I was out in California. And when I heard the news, see, the easiest way to get out of the military, of course, is to do drugs. I mean, I was out within three weeks. And I knew I had to be home. And that was the only way I could really do it. And it was the first time I ever did any drugs before.

27:53🔗 Adam And where's your mom in all this?

27:56🔗 Caller She's at home right now.

27:57🔗 Adam How's she doing?

27:59🔗 Caller Actually, she's doing really well.

28:02🔗 Adam Well, that's good, I guess. And the rest of the brothers and sisters?

28:07🔗 Caller When my dad died, pretty much everybody moved out. It's like the only person left is my little baby sister that's still living with my mom. Everybody else is gone.

28:15🔗 Drew And she was abused too?

28:16🔗 Adam Yeah. Your dad sounds like a pretty evil dude. Of course, he's your dad. How do you feel about his death?

28:27🔗 Caller Well, when I first heard about it, I mean, all I did was scream. I stayed awake for two weeks. I was up for two weeks straight. And at the time, you know, the only thing I could find myself busy to do was to shine boots. So I shined everybody's boots in my platoon.

28:43🔗 Adam Hold on. Is that euphemism for masturbation? No, you actually shined everyone's boots.

28:47🔗 Drew That's what you say.

28:48🔗 Adam And so you had all this energy and rage and everything, but your dad's dead now. I mean, he sounds like just a horrible, horrible guy.

28:59🔗 Caller Well, he wasn't really. That's the problem. I mean, that's not the real problem, but it just nobody saw it. Nobody knew it except for us kids. And he had always said that he'd kill himself. And yeah, well, it actually came down to it. My brother felt so bad for being the one that called. Yeah.

29:15🔗 Adam Yeah.

29:15🔗 Drew So he wasn't a horrible guy.

29:17🔗 Adam He molested five out of the six kids.

29:21🔗 Caller I mean, to everybody else, he wasn't really a horrible guy.

29:24🔗 Adam Right. OK.

29:25🔗 Caller I don't think I'm taking for a job molester at all.

29:26🔗 Adam All right. But you know he was. Yeah. And, you know, I know he's your dad. But, man, he molested you. And he basically just got what he got his comeuppance, really. He just did. Yeah. That's what happens.

29:41🔗 Drew What's sad is that these things, some people believe they can treat these things. And, you know, if he'd got it.

29:47🔗 Caller My real question is, I called my brother's girlfriend today, you know, just to see how she was doing, because she was really close with the family. And, you know, I talked to her and I told her I haven't had a night of sobriety since Dustin passed away. And I was wondering, you know, if she had any opinions for me or whatever, and she told me that Dustin hadn't had a night of sobriety since dad died. So he was doing pot and everything else for six months and he couldn't take it anymore.

30:18🔗 Drew Well, but maybe that's what caused him to get so profoundly depressed. These things affect your brain chemistry. And you're under so much psychological stress already. You add depletion of these different drugs, then you become suicidal.

30:29🔗 Caller And I noticed that today, too. I mean, I was today. I was just really furious, really, really touchy. I was like, you know what? I don't know what I'm here for.

30:37🔗 Drew All right, Derek, why don't you get treatment? You've been through an incredible ordeal, enormous stresses, drug addiction, possibly tremendous loss. You got to get treatment for this. If your dad had gotten treatment earlier, maybe all this wouldn't have happened. If your brother had gotten treatment, he'd be alive. Let's not let you...

30:57🔗 Caller If anybody ever knew, he would have killed himself.

30:59🔗 Drew Well, let's not... No. Let's not be... That's ridiculous. Let's not be another casualty of all this.

31:05🔗 Adam Yeah. You owe it... This sounds corny, but to your brother, in a way, to pull yourself together, get some treatment.

31:12🔗 Drew And your mom, my God, how awful for her. She already lost one son.

31:15🔗 Adam Right. Have a good, productive life. You got to do that. Okay. Well, listen, I'm glad the guy bought it. No problem with that. Molested everybody. Threatened to kill himself. Someone turned him in. I feel bad for the cop that had to shoot him. Yeah. But I don't know, I'd be all right with that if I was the cop. He molested five kids. Wouldn't you? Look at this kind of part of your job.

31:42🔗 Drew I mean...

31:43🔗 Adam You know?

31:44🔗 Drew It's a hard call to make if you really felt that these people could be helped in some way, if this guy was not beyond help.

31:49🔗 Adam No, no, no. I'd forget about help. I don't care if this guy worked at the Salvation Army for the rest of his life. He still molested five kids and effectively...

31:59🔗 Drew Ruined five lives.

32:00🔗 Adam Essentially, yeah. That's the way it goes. Karen?

32:04🔗 Hi.

32:04🔗 Adam You're 17? What's up?

32:07🔗 Caller Well, basically, I just love to have sex and I just can't stop.

32:11🔗 Adam Yeah.

32:12🔗 Caller And, like, I think about it... I think, like, way more than guys and everything. And, um, I think... I was wondering, like, maybe it's because I smoke weed sometimes.

32:21🔗 Drew Nope. If anything, that would dampen it a little bit.

32:23🔗 Adam It slows you down a little bit.

32:25🔗 Drew Um, but speaking of molestation, that history probably is here, too.

32:31🔗 Caller Well, that's supposedly, but I don't think so.

32:34🔗 Drew Well, how did I magically know that that was supposedly there?

32:38🔗 Caller Well, that's what my mom said. Well, she didn't say it, but I found her secret files. Like, she has these secret files about me. It's like, oh, she was molested or something.

32:46🔗 Drew Well, you're behaving, you're behaving, Aaron, like someone who's been molested.

32:50🔗 Adam Wait, you have secret files?

32:52🔗 Caller Well, mom, like, hides them away because she doesn't want me to know.

32:55🔗 Drew What, what, what would?

32:57🔗 Adam How can I get to my mom's secret files?

32:58🔗 Drew Yeah, about what would she be keeping the secret files? Medical files?

33:02🔗 Caller Oh, no, it's just like a diary of like, supposedly, I came home and like, I like was raped or something.

33:09🔗 Drew Okay, well, that, that.

33:10🔗 Adam How old were you?

33:11🔗 Caller Like two, I guess, or something like that. Really, like, little. I didn't remember it. I don't even think that it happened really.

33:17🔗 Drew Well, you know what? I'm here to tell you it did. Because you're behaving like it.

33:22🔗 Caller Oh, really?

33:23🔗 Adam How many guys you been with?

33:24🔗 Caller Like, I don't know, maybe 50.

33:27🔗 Adam 50 guys?

33:28🔗 Drew 19, 18, 17. That's a sexual, that's a sexual dig at it.

33:33🔗 Adam That's a pretty good run. Do you really think 50?

33:37🔗 Caller Maybe, maybe less. I don't know.

33:38🔗 Drew Maybe 48.

33:39🔗 Caller It's hard to count.

33:40🔗 Adam It's hard to count?

33:41🔗 Caller Yeah.

33:42🔗 Adam Oh, in general, or guys you've slept with?

33:45🔗 Caller Like, you know, guys.

33:46🔗 Adam Oh, I see. In general, you could get to 50, though, right? I mean, if it's just...

33:49🔗 Caller Yeah.

33:50🔗 Adam Okay. I was confused.

33:51🔗 Caller It's just, like, I started, like, when I was, like, 13.

33:56🔗 Adam Yeah, okay. All right. So, you're calling because you feel like you have a problem, though, right?

34:01🔗 Caller I think I have a problem. Maybe there's medicine. I don't know, but it's just, like, it's weird because most people, girls, like, go for, like, 10 minutes, and I just go for an hour and I'm still on SSI.

34:11🔗 Adam Right, right. Okay. Do you have a boyfriend?

34:14🔗 Caller Um, like, I have, just basically, I've had a boyfriend before, but, like, after that, I said no more of that because I just got my heart broken, so I just, like, started sleeping with all these guys without, like, getting attached to them.

34:27🔗 Adam Right. That's what I do.

34:30🔗 Caller Like, there's these guys that I call up and stuff, and I'll just be like, you want to, and they'll be like, okay, but we won't really talk about anything.

34:38🔗 Drew Are you happy doing this?

34:39🔗 Yes.

34:40🔗 No, you're not.

34:42🔗 Adam You're happy like someone who's slamming heroines as they're happy when they're doing heroin.

34:46🔗 Drew That's exactly right.

34:47🔗 Caller I mean, I keep getting in trouble.

34:49🔗 Caller You know, my mom doesn't even know.

34:50🔗 Adam Okay, well, listen.

34:51🔗 Caller It's so hard to do.

34:52🔗 Adam Okay, hold on. Before you get eaten by a giant crab or something, you know, your vagina falls off or you end up going to juvie or something, you get pregnant again or whatever it is.

35:04🔗 Caller It's really not safe because I do it in cars and like, there's like cops. I could get caught or something.

35:10🔗 Adam That's right. That's right. Here's the point. You're acting very recklessly. And let me say this, Drew. When a woman, and this reminds me of basically teenagers that were kids that were screwed over act out later in life.

35:25🔗 Drew Yes. It's like their brain gets wired this way now.

35:28🔗 Adam Well, they're also looking for attention in a certain way and they engage in dangerous behaviors. And guys, shut up, guys do it through mean physical stuff, oftentimes violent, dangerous, daredevil type stuff. They're jumping off of roofs and landing on car tables and stuff like that. It's all a form of, you're not paying attention to me, I may hurt myself, pay attention to me. That's a lot of it. For the female version of that is have sex with every dude. Go off dangerous places with dangerous guys, don't use protection. You know what I mean? That is like professional wrestling for 17 year old females. It's dangerous.

36:09🔗 Drew Yeah, it's dangerous. But that's because their brain become wired to need arousal. And the arousal is what they live off. Arousal is their heroin, as you mentioned, so sex and arousal become the way they manage their feelings.

36:20🔗 Adam But there's another aspect to it, which is the... Yeah, but the guys......see me, pay attention to me, I'm endangering myself. He listened to the way she's talking.

36:28🔗 Drew I was just saying, but the guys do it, so the girls will pay attention to them.

36:32🔗 Adam No, they do it so the parents will pay attention to them. I'm telling you, I know what I'm talking about. Karen?

36:38🔗 Drew Yeah?

36:39🔗 Adam Okay, so you're looking for trouble, you're definitely going to find it. You've already found most of it. How about you just slow down with this, you get a little counseling, keep your legs together for a couple of weeks.

36:52🔗 Drew There may be some medicine that can help. You asked about that. You may have some antidepressants.

36:56🔗 Adam You want to do anything with your life? You want to go to fashion school or something?

37:00🔗 Drew Learn cooking?

37:01🔗 Caller I want to be a psychologist.

37:02🔗 Adam You want to be a psychologist?

37:03🔗 Drew Alright, well in your current state, there's not much chance of that, right?

37:07🔗 Caller Well, I don't know. I guess I probably want to sleep with the patients. That wouldn't be good.

37:11🔗 Drew That would not be good. That's right.

37:13🔗 Adam Do you do okay in school?

37:16🔗 Caller Yeah.

37:17🔗 Adam You do?

37:18🔗 Caller Yes.

37:19🔗 Drew But she realizes she shouldn't be sleeping with the patients.

37:21🔗 What are you?

37:21🔗 Adam Are you a senior in high school?

37:23🔗 I'm a junior.

37:25🔗 Adam Junior? All right. So you got to get your grades up and take your SATs and all that. You can go off to college and be a psychologist, right?

37:33🔗 Yeah.

37:34🔗 Caller But I just kind of get in the way of that, I guess.

37:37🔗 Adam Yeah. Okay.

37:38🔗 Drew So listen, Drew, please get some help.

37:41🔗 Adam Really?

37:41🔗 Drew SAA, Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous.

37:45🔗 Adam Okay.

37:46🔗 Drew SAA.

37:47🔗 Adam Okay. That was the group Patty Hearst was dragged into.

37:53🔗 Drew 1A.

37:54🔗 Adam All right. When we come back, we'll speak to James is 21. His crush is getting married and wants to know if he should confess his love to her after this.

38:04🔗 Drew Hello?

38:12🔗 Adam Hey, everybody. It's Loveline. I'm Adam and this is Dr. Drew over there. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-1-9-1. What's that in the background?

38:26🔗 Drew Cameras.

38:27🔗 Adam Is this girls on film? It's a copy I got. Really? What the hell is that? All right. James.

38:42🔗 Caller Hey, how you guys doing?

38:43🔗 Adam Good. Good, buddy. What's on your mind?

38:45🔗 Caller Well, I just wanted to say real quick, during the commercial, I couldn't help but laughing because the local station played your favorite public service air turbulence announcement.

38:53🔗 Adam Oh.

38:54🔗 Caller And I was listening to that and I couldn't help but snicker, figured you'd appreciate that.

38:58🔗 Adam Yeah. Your body is meant to do a lot of things like football.

39:04🔗 Caller It's not meant to endure unexpected turbulence.

39:06🔗 Adam Right.

39:06🔗 Caller Yeah.

39:07🔗 Adam Tell that to the Broncos, wide out, the Cafferty.

39:12🔗 Caller Bumping.

39:14🔗 Caller Hickling. Shaving.

39:17🔗 Yeah.

39:18🔗 Caller Loud noises.

39:19🔗 Adam Well, now wait a minute. Hold it there for a second. Can you hold it? Loud noises, I think, cause more damage to the human body than air turbulence does.

39:29🔗 Drew Yes, it does.

39:29🔗 Adam It's deaf. You go deaf. All right. Keep going here.

39:33🔗 Caller Childbirth.

39:35🔗 Drew Which is one of the leading causes of death and disability through history. Through history.

39:41🔗 Adam Historically, Drew, seriously, be honest, as a doctor, more people die giving birth or from airplane turbulence? Historically.

39:47🔗 Drew Oh, it's such a close number.

39:49🔗 Adam It's close, isn't it?

39:50🔗 Drew Let's see. It would have been in the billions.

39:52🔗 Adam Billions?

39:52🔗 Drew Of history being...

39:53🔗 Adam To what? To what? Almost six?

39:56🔗 Drew Zero.

39:58🔗 Adam I keep going. There had to be two or three people that died from airplane turbulence.

40:01🔗 Drew You would have heard about it.

40:03🔗 Adam Well, that could have been something from 88 that we didn't hear about. Some flight attendant had a preexisting condition or something.

40:09🔗 Caller Football!

40:10🔗 Drew All right, stop.

40:11🔗 Right. All right.

40:12🔗 Drew Did you notice the flatline sound afterwards?

40:15🔗 Adam Yeah, football.

40:15🔗 Drew It's pretty prophetic.

40:16🔗 Adam How many people died? You know how many people died from football this year? So far, just in training camp from the heat stroke and stuff, there's been like ten people have died.

40:25🔗 Yeah. Yeah.

40:26🔗 Adam How many from airplane turbulence? All right. What else? What else you got on there?

40:31🔗 Caller Football!

40:32🔗 Football?

40:33🔗 Caller Bad cooking.

40:40🔗 Caller Even company meetings. But there's something the human body isn't built to withstand. What?

40:47🔗 Adam What could this be?

40:48🔗 Caller Unexpected turbulence.

40:49🔗 Adam Oh, my goodness.

40:51🔗 The wings are built to withstand that.

40:53🔗 Caller Really well. All you have to do is wear your safety belt the entire time.

40:56🔗 Drew Your what? Your what? Wait a minute. I hope they describe how to use that instrument when you get on the plane.

41:01🔗 Adam Drew, you're talking. I couldn't hear what he told me to wear.

41:04🔗 Drew Wear the what?

41:05🔗 Adam Some kind of harness apparatus you put over yourself when you're in the airplane, perhaps.

41:09🔗 Drew I know.

41:10🔗 Adam Yes. Apparently... All right. Is there a number we should call to find out what the F seat belts are? How's that go? They really want us to follow up on that? Hey, I heard your poignant yet meaningless PSA on airplane turbulence. I heard you speak of a seat belt. What could this be?

41:28🔗 Drew And perhaps you ought to ask the what are they called flight attendants to perhaps describe the use of these when you're on the plane and maybe they could even check to make sure you're wearing them.

41:35🔗 Adam Impossible, Drew. Impossible. Next thing you know, you're going to be saying there's going to be light up placards that suggest you put your seat belt on.

41:41🔗 Drew Yeah.

41:42🔗 Adam You're living in some sort of fantasy land.

41:43🔗 Drew Check when you're sleeping. All right.

41:45🔗 Adam Here's all I'm saying. The world's most worthless PSA I have ever heard in my entire life. Wow.

41:52🔗 Caller Where do you keep your wallet?

41:53🔗 Adam My hip. Up your ass, you mutt.

41:55🔗 Drew That was number two.

41:56🔗 Adam That's number two. Okay. Thank you, James. And listen, if anybody knows anybody who's involved with this airplane turbulence PSA and they have balls enough to call this show, I would love to talk to this person and try to get some of my tax money back from them.

42:11🔗 Drew All right, James. What's up? I see what you triggered. Look at what you triggered here.

42:14🔗 Caller I know. I'm sorry for sending them off on that rant there. You're a very patient man, Dr. Drew. My question for you is, I've known this girl for about four years. We both liked to have a crush on each other. Never really had a real relationship. She was dating somebody. I wasn't. I was dating somebody she wasn't. And now we've gone to schools in separate states. Well, just found out that she's getting married. And I'm not really too happy about it.

42:43🔗 Drew She's 21?

42:44🔗 Adam Yeah.

42:44🔗 Drew Remember last.

42:47🔗 Caller Yeah, I'm thinking so too. I think it's a, you know, not a smart move, but the thing I'm wanting to know is.

42:52🔗 Adam Are you sure she had a crush on you? Quite. Are you really?

42:57🔗 Yeah.

42:59🔗 Adam Yeah. And you never worked that one out?

43:03🔗 Caller No, not well, she would be dating somebody and it would be in a relationship and I had a, you know, was dating a girl and I literally liked her and then.

43:09🔗 Adam Yeah. But Drew, you know, when young people know that the two of them are into each other and they're in proximity of each other.

43:16🔗 Drew Something's happening.

43:17🔗 Adam It's usually there's a way where there's a will. Is there not?

43:20🔗 Drew How? But they're different states.

43:22🔗 Adam No, not growing up. They just went off to college.

43:24🔗 Drew I see.

43:25🔗 Caller Well, we've known each other for about three years. We've been living in different states for about a year now.

43:29🔗 Adam All right. So she's getting married when?

43:31🔗 Caller And I don't know.

43:33🔗 Adam And really, you're professing your love now?

43:35🔗 Caller Well, no. I mean, we've already, we've, like I said, we've known each other for quite some time, but I'm somewhat hesitant to tell her that I really don't like the idea of her getting married to somebody else, you know, because I really would like to have a relationship with her and see if, you know what, see if it works out.

43:50🔗 Adam Who told you she was getting married?

43:53🔗 Caller She did, herself.

43:54🔗 Adam She did. Do you think she was trying to get some response out of you?

43:57🔗 Caller No.

43:58🔗 Adam No, she just told you?

43:59🔗 Caller Yeah.

43:59🔗 Adam And this must be a guy she's been with for a while, right?

44:03🔗 Caller Someone she dated off and on. One of those ones that she was dating when I was, you know, single, blah, blah, blah. But I don't want to be selfish and be like, hey, I really like you. And then screw up somebody else's, you know.

44:15🔗 Adam I think you're spazzing a little here because she's getting off the market and you're, you know what, let me give you an analogy. Once every six months, I go into the Good Guys or the Circuit City or the Stereo Store. And I narrow it down between like three TV's that I want. And I go, well, I don't know. Ah, give me that one. And then the guy comes back and he goes, well, we have the other two, but we're out of that one. And I'm like, Christ, how are we going to get it?

44:42🔗 Drew That's the one you want.

44:43🔗 Adam Now I need it, man. And they're like, well, if you go to, we have a store in Nicaragua. Yeah. Yeah. If you charter a plane, OK, I'm gone. You're going to have to parachute in because there's no landing strip at that. No problem. Now, it's like the fact that I can't get this one now, even though, yes, a minute ago was between that and three. You could have just spun a wheel. I wouldn't have cared. Now I found out that one is gone. I need that one. That's how guys are, by the way.

45:11🔗 Caller I thought about that. Do you think? Do you think I should say anything to tell her how I feel and what I've been thinking? And this is not something that just all of a sudden came up.

45:20🔗 Caller I felt this way for a long time.

45:22🔗 Drew I think, for a long time, you don't lay it on too thick.

45:26🔗 Adam When is she going to get married?

45:27🔗 Caller I... There's not a set date.

45:29🔗 Drew I mean, it's not like it's going to happen in two weeks or something.

45:31🔗 Caller No, no, no.

45:32🔗 Drew I think it's all right to talk to her. I mean, it's okay to tell your feelings.

45:34🔗 Adam All right.

45:35🔗 Drew But don't lay it on too thick, James, because we're sort of questioning... Adam's on many levels questioning the sort of clarity of your attraction. Because you're with her for two years and nothing happened, and now suddenly she's off the market, and, pal, you got to have her. There's a lot of sort of strangeness to this.

45:54🔗 Adam And they've never had a relationship.

45:56🔗 Drew Yeah.

45:57🔗 Adam He's really creating a fantasy here. I mean, yeah, he knows her. He likes her. He doesn't even know what her breath smells like.

46:02🔗 Drew Yeah.

46:02🔗 Adam She could have a smelly foo-foo.

46:05🔗 Drew Imagine that.

46:05🔗 Adam Yeah. Speaking of smelly...

46:09🔗 Drew How do you know? How do you know that's going to be a bad one?

46:14🔗 Adam I got it. Oh, for those of you at home, I just let a nice one go and waved it over toward Drew. Drew is a doctor. What do you give that one?

46:29🔗 Drew Six, seven.

46:30🔗 Adam Seven? Not bad. Not bad. Jay?

46:33🔗 Drew Yeah. Needs a little more volume.

46:34🔗 Adam Yeah. Light volume, but good consistency and a nice body.

46:38🔗 Drew That's okay.

46:39🔗 Adam Yeah. Assertive without being pushy. Jay? Yeah. 29. I'm sorry.

46:46🔗 Caller What's going on, guys?

46:47🔗 Adam I'm just farting on Drew.

46:49🔗 Caller Good times.

46:50🔗 Adam Yeah, good times.

46:51🔗 Guest I'm telling you.

46:52🔗 Caller Dr. Drew.

46:53🔗 Drew Yeah.

46:54🔗 Caller I've got addiction to prescription pain medicine. And I'm kind of wondering what long-term effects I can look forward to.

47:03🔗 Drew Well, bad addiction, that's all. Really, the interesting thing about opiates is they don't really hurt your brain in any significant way whatsoever. Except it causes the most severe form of addiction.

47:13🔗 Caller OK.

47:14🔗 Drew And you really got to do something. You have to be treated. It doesn't stop by itself.

47:17🔗 Caller Well, I've tried NA and that was unsuccessful. I'm wondering, is there anything to curve the addiction?

47:23🔗 Drew Yeah, NA. And you need to go into a program. You need to think about opiate addictions. You have to be in a very highly structured environment for a long time, like six to 12 weeks.

47:33🔗 It's like two evils.

47:37🔗 Caller It's either alcohol or pain pills.

47:39🔗 Drew Yeah, well, it all triggers the same reward mechanism in the brain. And listen, that's what addiction is. If you can stop using these drugs, go ahead and stop. And if you can't, you're an addict. And then we know that it means tons of things about the biology of your brain and that this little system outside of any volitional control is operating, causing drive and actually changing your thinking, changing your behaviors. And that little mechanism doesn't have language, doesn't have logic. And you can't communicate with it, and it's operating, and that's it. It's over. Once it's game on with that part of the brain, that's it. You have the disease, and it has to be treated.

48:13🔗 Adam Drew, you've never been hooked on anything, but I can tell you. I tell you, I drink my wine when I come home at night. You get some more gas?

48:21🔗 Drew No.

48:22🔗 Adam I didn't fart again.

48:23🔗 Drew It just...

48:24🔗 Adam How dare you?

48:25🔗 Drew Just settles here and there.

48:26🔗 Adam I'll tell you, the thought of giving that up would be unthinkable.

48:29🔗 Drew You drink your wine every night.

48:30🔗 Adam Yeah, really would.

48:32🔗 Drew No, it speaks volumes. How about giving up masturbation or even toning it down by half?

48:37🔗 Adam You want another fart? Because that's where you're cruising for. Is that what you want? Is that what you want?

48:42🔗 Drew No, Mr. Corolla. Sorry, sir. Sorry. Sorry. Yes, sir.

48:46🔗 Adam Okay, then. We're going to take a little break.

48:49🔗 Caller We'll be back.

48:55🔗 Adam Hey, Loveline there, kiddies. I'm Adam. That's Drew. Phone number, 1-800-LOVE-191. Let's get back to the phones and speak to, who is that? Lucy. Lucy.

49:11🔗 Guest Yeah.

49:12🔗 Adam You're 18?

49:13🔗 Guest Uh-huh.

49:14🔗 Adam What's up?

49:15🔗 Caller Well, I first want to tell you guys, thank you. You've been keeping me out of a lot of trouble lately.

49:19🔗 Drew Oh, good. What's happening?

49:21🔗 Caller Well, now it's bad, actually.

49:23🔗 Drew Oh, great.

49:23🔗 Adam Nice job, Drew.

49:25🔗 Drew I feel much better.

49:26🔗 Guest I was a virgin until I was 18.

49:27🔗 Caller I had sex for the first time like three weeks ago.

49:29🔗 Drew Oh, good.

49:30🔗 Caller Yeah.

49:32🔗 Caller Well, I did E like really early this morning, about 4 AM, and I drank a little bit and smoked a little bit, like 12 or something, and then I was having sex with my boyfriend and right as he was finishing up, he says that the condom flipped off or I don't even know if he took it off, but he's not my boyfriend now because he left right after that.

49:52🔗 Adam This was when?

49:54🔗 Caller This afternoon.

49:56🔗 Adam Oh, this afternoon.

49:57🔗 Yeah.

49:58🔗 Adam You're taking the E at 4 AM?

50:00🔗 Caller Well, we had been up all night last night. My parents are out of town, so.

50:04🔗 Right.

50:04🔗 Adam Well, let me explain.

50:05🔗 Drew People know if they never leave kids without a law.

50:07🔗 Adam Let me explain drug use to everybody. Here's where I believe people get into trouble. You got your drugs that are basically uppers and you got those that are downers, you know? The weed and the booze, that's a wind down drug, you know? The Quailudes, the painkillers and things like that. Quailudes, that stuff. And then the stuff, the Coke and the Speed and the Axe, that stuff keep you going. You see what I'm saying? That stuff you take earlier in the day. You don't take that stuff at 4 a.m. You never go to bed.

50:39🔗 Caller No pops.

50:39🔗 Drew You've never been to a rave, have you?

50:41🔗 Adam Well, you go to a rave, you drop the E at 8, 9 in the evening and you're going good.

50:46🔗 Caller You don't do it at 4 a.m. Well, I just get up all night long and I don't know.

50:51🔗 Caller We didn't have anything to do.

50:52🔗 Adam You made a mistake. That's all.

50:53🔗 Drew Nothing to do. Do a little E.

50:55🔗 Caller Yeah.

50:56🔗 Adam 4 a.m. That's weed and booze and Quailoods.

51:00🔗 Caller So anyway, so he-

51:02🔗 Drew So the condom slipped off and he showed you no concern and he just left.

51:06🔗 Caller Pretty much.

51:07🔗 Caller He didn't even say goodbye. He passed out. The next thing I know, I heard him ride off on his motorcycle.

51:11🔗 Drew Oh, good guy.

51:11🔗 Caller So I was a little bit pissed off, say the least. And then-

51:14🔗 Adam Well, I'll tell you something. For someone who's been a virgin until 18, you sure hit the ground running.

51:19🔗 Caller Yeah.

51:19🔗 Adam Once you got started, didn't you?

51:22🔗 Caller Yeah.

51:22🔗 Caller It's because I'm going off to college. Got a little too excited there, you know.

51:25🔗 Caller Right.

51:26🔗 Caller So anyway, so I went and I got some emergency contraceptives and stuff.

51:30🔗 Drew Where'd you get them?

51:31🔗 Caller At Kaiser.

51:32🔗 Caller Good.

51:32🔗 Drew Where are you going to college?

51:33🔗 Caller I don't know what I want to say.

51:36🔗 Drew In California?

51:36🔗 Caller Yeah. All right.

51:38🔗 Drew Go ahead.

51:38🔗 Caller It's UC. And then I was wondering if it's going to work at all? Like if I'm...

51:44🔗 Drew I think it'll be all right. It'll be fine.

51:45🔗 Caller If I need to throw up or something, am I going to...

51:49🔗 Drew You may throw up, but usually it's because you've absorbed the medication.

51:52🔗 Caller Okay.

51:53🔗 Drew So go ahead and take it.

51:54🔗 Adam So it's not... The emergency contraception may make you throw up.

52:00🔗 Drew Yeah.

52:01🔗 Adam Just like the birth control pill, when you double up, it can make you throw up.

52:04🔗 Drew That's right.

52:05🔗 Adam But it's not because it's irritating your stomach, it's because it's been absorbed into your body.

52:09🔗 Drew That's right.

52:10🔗 Adam And now your body's having a reaction that's making you nauseated.

52:13🔗 Drew That's right.

52:14🔗 Adam As a matter of fact, that's how you would know it was absorbed in your body.

52:18🔗 Drew Yes.

52:18🔗 Adam So when you throw up, theoretically it's been absorbed.

52:21🔗 Drew Occasionally people will see the pill come back, and maybe the whole thing hasn't been absorbed, but usually it's pretty well absorbed. By the time they're vomiting.

52:28🔗 Adam Would it be quicker absorption if it was in a liquid form?

52:33🔗 Guest Yeah.

52:34🔗 Adam What about... I mean, could you do that in a little gel cap or something?

52:38🔗 Drew I don't know what the issues are in that. I don't know.

52:41🔗 Adam Yeah, because it seems like...

52:42🔗 Drew It seems like if they were able to do that, they'd do it. Maybe they don't say in suspension... See, some people don't say in suspension well. You have to be able to... Every drop has to have the same amount in it. You know what I'm saying? It's dissolved completely.

52:57🔗 Adam Yeah.

52:57🔗 Drew This may not do that.

52:59🔗 Guest Yeah.

53:00🔗 Drew And where do you think she's going to school?

53:03🔗 Adam She's going to UC.

53:03🔗 Drew Santa Barbara.

53:04🔗 Adam UC school, so it can't be too bad, right? They're all good. John?

53:10🔗 Drew John?

53:11🔗 John?

53:11🔗 Drew Yeah.

53:12🔗 Adam John?

53:13🔗 Yeah.

53:13🔗 Adam You're 35, John.

53:15🔗 Yeah, I got a question for Dr. Drew.

53:17🔗 Drew John?

53:20🔗 My wife and I have two kids. First one is two years old. We all got brown hair and brown eyes. Second kid is eight months old, got blue eyes and light reddish hair. I wonder if there's a simple test. I know the DNA tests are complicated. If there's something simple I can do to nail it down.

53:47🔗 Adam Well, you do the old watering trough test. I like how they figure out whose horse it really is in the old west. You put the kid in the middle of the living room and you both start screaming and clamping its name. Let's see where it goes.

53:59🔗 Drew John, you must have more trouble than just this if you are suddenly suspicious just based on pigment.

54:04🔗 Adam How old is the kid?

54:06🔗 Eight months.

54:07🔗 Adam Don't a lot of kids have blue eyes?

54:10🔗 Drew Absolutely, and a lot of kids have different pigments early in life.

54:14🔗 Adam When do the blue eyes turn to s brown like my family's eyes? Is that two, three?

54:20🔗 Drew By that it would have for sure.

54:22🔗 Adam So a lot of, I mean, Drustami, correct me, but 20% of the United States has blue eyes, but 50% of the babies have blue eyes, right? Something like that?

54:37🔗 Drew It's those kinds of numbers.

54:38🔗 Adam And it changes?

54:39🔗 Drew Yes.

54:40🔗 Adam So the fact that your kid has blue eyes in eight months doesn't mean anything. I don't know about the red hair part.

54:46🔗 Drew It doesn't mean anything either. But the point is, why are you freaking out about this? And what's going on in your relationship?

54:50🔗 Exactly. And I don't have a reason to. And it's killing me to... When I hold them, I, you know, ease my kid, but then I just kind of double clutch it a little.

55:01🔗 Adam Sure. Kick that kid out. Trouble making eight-month-old.

55:05🔗 But I mean, he's so different from his brother, too. My first one was born with a full head of hair, brown hair, brown eyes, dark complexion. And the second one is light skin, no hair, faint, light reddish hair.

55:20🔗 Adam I got a theory that's not going to help. I think the second one is yours and the first one is not yours.

55:25🔗 No, first one's my twin.

55:27🔗 Adam Okay. Well, look, look, I've seen Drew's triplets. He's got two sons. They look nothing like each other.

55:35🔗 Drew Nor me. Nothing like me.

55:40🔗 Adam Douglas looks a little like you and Jordan looks more like your wife.

55:44🔗 Drew It started out the other way.

55:46🔗 Adam Yeah, but the point is, you know, here these kids came out of the same place at the same time. They're two of the three litter and they don't look anything alike.

55:57🔗 Drew Anything.

55:59🔗 Adam One of them's black, actually. Jordan's black.

56:02🔗 What about blood types? Does that matter?

56:06🔗 Drew Yeah, there's certain blood types that wouldn't make sense.

56:08🔗 Adam But listen, do you think your wife was screwing around on you?

56:12🔗 No. No?

56:14🔗 Adam Well. Well, what do you think? I mean, that's what you're saying.

56:19🔗 Drew Yeah, that's what you're saying here.

56:21🔗 Adam I mean, do the math.

56:22🔗 Drew All I get from you, John, is you're paranoid. That's all I get. You are exquisitely paranoid. And I imagine this isn't the only area in life that you have a paranoia.

56:31🔗 Probably.

56:32🔗 Drew And the fact that you... Are you doing speed or anything like that?

56:34🔗 No, no, no.

56:36🔗 Drew I mean, you got a problem with being suspicious of people. And here, you know, a child's pigment, which is highly changeable in the first year of life, you're already concocting a plan about...

56:45🔗 It's just that the first one was so damn on.

56:47🔗 Drew Hey, John, forget it. You're paranoid. And unless you have some reason to believe that your wife is screwing around, let it go.

56:57🔗 Adam And what's up with the paranoia in general? Are you worried in life about, you know, people ripping you off or stealing your tools or doing that kind of stuff?

57:08🔗 Oh, I'm always... Yeah, I guess I'm always cautious of everybody around me.

57:12🔗 Adam What do you do for a living?

57:16🔗 I'm in the grocery business.

57:17🔗 Adam Aha. All right. And are you paranoid of coworkers? And you're one of these guys who's worried that people are gonna screw you over, right?

57:28🔗 No, not really.

57:29🔗 Adam No?

57:29🔗 No.

57:30🔗 Adam Okay. Well, then just get over it. Kids are different. That's fine. Okay? All right.

57:37🔗 Drew All right. Let it go.

57:38🔗 Adam Just let it go. Let it go. Don't hold the kid and wonder if it's yours.

57:42🔗 Drew That's very... It's really destructive for the kid.

57:44🔗 Adam Very damaging.

57:44🔗 Drew Yeah.

57:45🔗 Adam Okay?

57:46🔗 Drew All right.

57:47🔗 Adam All right. I think the wife had an affair with either Danny Bonaduce or Johnny Whitaker.

57:54🔗 Drew It was Johnny Whitaker.

57:55🔗 Adam Johnny Whitaker was the red-haired, bushy-haired kid from Family Affair. Come on, Drew. You don't know Johnny Whitaker.

58:05🔗 Drew No. I can't remember even his name in the show.

58:10🔗 Adam But now you know. Jodie?

58:13🔗 Drew Missy Jodie.

58:14🔗 Adam Mrs. Beasley?

58:16🔗 Drew Jimmy?

58:16🔗 Caller Hello? What's up?

58:18🔗 Adam You're 19. What's going on?

58:20🔗 Caller Nothing. I'm just... Right now, I'm employed at a porno store. And I'm finding it kind of hard to get sexually attracted to my... Well, not sexually attracted, just want to have sex with my girlfriend.

58:30🔗 Adam What do you do at the porno store?

58:32🔗 Caller I'm a cashier.

58:32🔗 Guest I'm at work right now, actually.

58:34🔗 Adam You are?

58:35🔗 Caller Yeah.

58:35🔗 Adam Hey, look down. You have a display case there?

58:37🔗 Caller I'm actually looking at the register right now.

58:40🔗 Adam Right. Can you go ahead and take your gaze and move it just a little bit toward the display case?

58:47🔗 Caller No.

58:48🔗 Caller There's nothing in the display case. There's just video head cleaner right now.

58:52🔗 Adam Oh, head cleaner. Get it? Yeah. No dildos or vibrators?

58:57🔗 To my left, yeah.

58:58🔗 Adam Oh, no. On the wall. Sorry. I was talking about the display case to your right exclusively. Nothing there? Well, then forget it. I mean, if you're going to start going to your left. Wait a minute. That would be to my right if I was facing the camera.

59:12🔗 Drew You might have been confused.

59:13🔗 Adam Interesting. Interesting. Okay. Let's get back to them. So is there a display case to the left? Yeah.

59:20🔗 Drew I've also noticed that... Hold on.

59:22🔗 Adam Hold on. At what point in this call did I say immediately to your right? That just said look down and look at the display case?

59:30🔗 Drew Yeah.

59:30🔗 Caller There's nothing in there.

59:31🔗 Caller There's just video head cleaner in the one right below me.

59:34🔗 Drew The one right below you.

59:35🔗 Adam Is there anything interesting in the other one to your left?

59:39🔗 Caller No.

59:39🔗 Caller Just Bachelorette party stuff.

59:41🔗 Adam Yeah. What is that? Like velvet handcuffs and things?

59:44🔗 Caller No.

59:46🔗 Guest Paper plates with guys on them.

59:50🔗 Caller Hats.

59:51🔗 Hats?

59:52🔗 Adam And now where do you keep the vibrators?

59:55🔗 Guest On the wall.

59:55🔗 Adam On the wall?

59:56🔗 Caller Yes.

59:57🔗 Adam Well, they do it differently over there in Illinois. And do you have to test those things out before you sell them?

1:00:03🔗 Caller We just put batteries in them to see if they work.

1:00:05🔗 Adam Oh, you don't actually put it up your ass?

1:00:07🔗 Caller No, no, no.

1:00:08🔗 Adam In LA, we have to do that.

1:00:10🔗 Caller Really?

1:00:10🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:00:10🔗 Adam We have very strict consumer reports. I think Nader got on to this, which was, it's not enough just to actually fire up the vibrator. It has to be put to use.

1:00:20🔗 Caller Oh.

1:00:21🔗 Adam And usually it's a guy buying it, so there's really only one orifice it can go in. So you do put the batteries in and fire the thing up before you sell it.

1:00:30🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:00:30🔗 Adam That has to be one of the most humiliating aspects of any job. What did you say, Drew? Firing the thing up?

1:00:37🔗 Drew Yeah. Isn't it more humiliating to the person who's actually buying it? Isn't it, mightn't it be a little bit sort of masochistic, sadistic fun for the...

1:00:44🔗 Adam It is a surreal... I have done this on more than one occasion. It is a very surreal moment when you and this stranger guy who's behind the booth... And by the way, you guys always stand on these like three foot risers.

1:00:56🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:00:57🔗 Adam So you're always up like you're at nine feet when everyone else is at six feet. It's a weird thing, Drew. The guy's like... He's over your head. It's like the Wizard of Oz, you know.

1:01:05🔗 Drew Why do they do that?

1:01:06🔗 Adam It's the vibrator, Luke. And you're just standing in front of the counter and he fires the thing up.

1:01:11🔗 Drew But what is it about the human primate that they'd set it up that way in this setting? You know what I mean?

1:01:16🔗 Adam This is one of the only retail settings I'm aware of where the people stand on a riser that is a two or three feet above where everyone else is.

1:01:26🔗 Drew They must be trying to rise above the humiliation in the room in general and the customers in particular.

1:01:31🔗 Adam There's usually good 18 inches of semen on the ground.

1:01:34🔗 Drew Yeah, above that. I see. So I can stay off the floor. OK.

1:01:36🔗 Adam What they want to do is they want to say, look, you deadbeats, no beating off in the back alley in the stump section. We got an eye on you. We can see over the alley. I mean, over the aisles and take a look back. OK, so Jimmy, you're being bombarded with this stuff. And now, like a guy who works at an ice cream store, you don't want ice cream when you get home. You've seen enough.

1:02:02🔗 Guest Yeah.

1:02:04🔗 Adam How good a job is this? I mean, what does it pay?

1:02:08🔗 Caller Not that bad, like around here. Like, not, I'm sure it'd be like crap in LA.,

1:02:14🔗 Guest but here it's like eight bucks an hour, and I don't really do anything all night.

1:02:18🔗 Adam But still, it's kind of costing you your sanity in a way.

1:02:21🔗 Drew Your spiritual self.

1:02:23🔗 Adam Yeah. It's weird. It's a weird breed that comes in there, isn't it?

1:02:27🔗 Caller Yeah, it's especially really odd when there's teachers that, like, old high school teachers come in and everything.

1:02:32🔗 Adam Oh, uncomfortable for you and for them, I would imagine. Yeah, true. I just thought. Did you fart again? Yeah, I let a fart go.

1:02:42🔗 Drew I'm standing on the ground this time.

1:02:44🔗 Adam Standing.

1:02:48🔗 Drew It's like taking punches.

1:02:49🔗 Adam Oh, that one was good. Jimmy, that one was so good.

1:02:55🔗 Drew Literally, it's like being a boxer. Yeah, just trying to hold my ground.

1:02:58🔗 Adam Yeah, it didn't work.

1:02:58🔗 Drew You landed good left.

1:02:59🔗 Adam Yeah. All right. Well, look, get out of that environment. It's not, it's nothing to build a dream on. Plus that whole thing where you're testing the vibrator out for the guy who taught your PE class two years ago. Wait a minute, Drew, I got another one.

1:03:13🔗 Caller No. Always try to remember what to do if the hellen bomb explodes right then. It's a bomb, dust can cover.

1:03:22🔗 Caller Oh, boy.

1:03:24🔗 Adam Oh, that was bad. Oh, this is going to be a good, good night. Good night. Oh, that one was just bad, wasn't it? Oh, man, Anthony, you should be here.

1:03:43🔗 Caller I'm kind of glad that I'm not.

1:03:44🔗 Adam Yeah, Drew's really reeling in pain. He's laughing the door. You're creating a swirl combustion chamber in here, Drew. You're hurting your cause. Just hold still. Let me tell you something. When I fart, it's like a bear attack. Just hold still, but play dead. Try to slow your pulse down and use less oxygen. All right, I'm sorry. Go ahead, Anthony.

1:04:10🔗 Caller Yeah, what's up?

1:04:11🔗 Adam Yeah, what's up, Drew? Come on, act like a professional. Go ahead.

1:04:15🔗 Caller It was about December 2000 last year. I was diagnosed with epididymitis in my left testicle.

1:04:21🔗 Caller Right.

1:04:21🔗 Caller And after, they prescribed me with some antibiotics and painkillers. Y'all are right over there.

1:04:30🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:04:33🔗 Adam Yeah. Painkillers, right?

1:04:35🔗 Caller Yeah. They prescribed me with antibiotics and painkillers.

1:04:38🔗 Guest Right.

1:04:40🔗 Five days.

1:04:43🔗 Caller Right.

1:04:43🔗 Drew Five days only?

1:04:45🔗 No.

1:04:45🔗 Caller They told me no, no, no. They gave me 10 days worth of antibiotics.

1:04:48🔗 Drew All right.

1:04:49🔗 Caller And the first ones were doxycycline.

1:04:51🔗 Drew Right.

1:04:52🔗 Caller And they told me to take those for 10 days and do five days bed rest.

1:04:56🔗 Drew Good.

1:04:57🔗 Caller And at that time, I was working and I wasn't able to take the five days off, so I didn't. I probably should have, but didn't. And it didn't go away. I mean, it's excruciating pain. And I went back to the doctor and they prescribed me with more antibiotics. They prescribed me with another 10 day dosage of Ciproflox.

1:05:16🔗 Drew Cipro, that's better. Yeah.

1:05:18🔗 Caller And I took those. He told me to take the five days bed rest because it won't get better if I don't. So he gave me a doctor's note and I took it to work and took my five days bed rest and it got a little better. It didn't hurt as much as it used to because it hurt bad to where I would be doubled over in pain.

1:05:37🔗 Drew Have you seen a urologist?

1:05:38🔗 Caller No, not yet.

1:05:39🔗 Drew I think you should.

1:05:41🔗 Caller Yeah, I was going to. Sometimes after I took all the antibiotics and everything it still didn't go away.

1:05:46🔗 Drew Sometimes man time phlametor has helped, too, like a leave. Take a couple of those two, three times a day.

1:05:51🔗 Adam Drew, why are you talking through your sweater?

1:05:52🔗 Drew Why the hell do you think I am?

1:05:55🔗 Adam Come on, pull that down and really focus on the show now. There's kids out here need to be helped.

1:05:59🔗 Drew Look at this guy. He needs to see the urologist. He's going to see the urologist. He's fine.

1:06:03🔗 Adam Oh, no. Oh, look, he's spraying a Lysol all over the food here. Drew, please, breathing that stuff in is worse. How dare you?

1:06:14🔗 Drew Ooh, it's like somebody crapped in a pine tree.

1:06:19🔗 Guest All right.

1:06:19🔗 Adam Oh, come on, Drew, you offend me. You offend me. Now, I got to talk through my shirt.

1:06:24🔗 Drew You're like the witch and the wizard of eyes.

1:06:27🔗 Guest Oh, Melding.

1:06:30🔗 Adam Richard?

1:06:31🔗 Guest Yeah.

1:06:32🔗 Adam All right. You have sex with your dog?

1:06:34🔗 Guest Yeah.

1:06:35🔗 Adam You also like horses?

1:06:36🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:06:37🔗 Adam Is that just a sidebar? You mean you like to have sex with horses?

1:06:40🔗 Guest I kind of says about it.

1:06:42🔗 Adam You do? Okay. What kind of dog do you have?

1:06:46🔗 Guest It's an African sheepdog.

1:06:49🔗 Adam Pure blood?

1:06:51🔗 Guest It's got the blue and black eye.

1:06:53🔗 Adam Oh, yeah.

1:06:54🔗 Caller That's a good...

1:06:55🔗 Adam That's a good-looking dog.

1:06:56🔗 Guest I can see that.

1:06:57🔗 Adam I thought that was an Australian sheepdog.

1:06:59🔗 Drew It's an African sheepdog.

1:07:01🔗 Adam Hey, Richard?

1:07:02🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:07:02🔗 Adam You don't know what kind of dog you're humping, do you?

1:07:05🔗 Guest No, I do. It's just... I'm pretty sure it's an African sheepdog.

1:07:08🔗 Adam I think that's an Australian sheepdog, the blue and the black eye. One of the two. The blue and the brown eye. How big is this dog?

1:07:16🔗 Guest It's about maybe three feet off the ground. It's a pretty big dog.

1:07:19🔗 Adam What's its name?

1:07:20🔗 Caller Mooch.

1:07:22🔗 Adam All right. What do you mean you have sex with it?

1:07:24🔗 Guest Well, I blow it.

1:07:26🔗 Adam You blew the dog? What did you do, lose a bet?

1:07:29🔗 Guest No.

1:07:29🔗 Adam No. And you're 16? You're calling from San Diego?

1:07:35🔗 Guest Yeah.

1:07:36🔗 Adam I haven't checked the map lately, but not a lot of guys blowing dogs in San Diego.

1:07:43🔗 Guest Yeah. I was just wondering what the problem with this could be, what's causing it?

1:07:49🔗 Adam We're not quite sure if we believe you. Oh, yeah.

1:07:51🔗 Drew We don't really believe you.

1:07:52🔗 Guest No. Honestly, I'm telling the truth. I've been trying to call for like three days now.

1:07:56🔗 Adam Yeah. We're getting the thumbs down from producer Ann, who's on my list now that she brought the Lysol into the studio and ruined my gas roll.

1:08:04🔗 Drew Well, just zoophilia in general is often some sort of sort of attachment, usually some deprivation in the first couple of years. Did you have anything unusual about your upbringing?

1:08:16🔗 Guest Well, I was molested as a child, yes.

1:08:18🔗 Drew All right.

1:08:18🔗 Guest How old were you when he was? I think it was under the age of nine.

1:08:24🔗 Drew How old were you?

1:08:27🔗 Guest Let's see here.

1:08:28🔗 You are a bare faced liar.

1:08:33🔗 Guest I was about six years old, five, six years old. It was by my next door neighbor.

1:08:37🔗 Adam What was his name?

1:08:38🔗 Caller Raymond.

1:08:41🔗 Adam How old was he?

1:08:43🔗 Guest He was a couple of years older than me, but I don't know for sure. I never really got his age. They were like big drug dealers and stuff. I don't really know.

1:08:50🔗 Drew He was eight and a big drug dealer?

1:08:52🔗 Guest Yeah. His parents were like really weird parents. Okay.

1:08:56🔗 Drew And the other thing that goes along with this usually is some kind of abandonment in early childhood. Were you an orphan or anything like that?

1:09:03🔗 Guest No. I was with my parents.

1:09:05🔗 Drew You weren't left alone for long periods of time as a young, young child?

1:09:09🔗 Guest No. My mom was like a really caring mother. Yeah.

1:09:12🔗 Adam How's the dog with all the... Put the dog on the phone.

1:09:15🔗 Guest The dog's not here. It's outside.

1:09:17🔗 Adam The dog's outside? Probably bragging.

1:09:21🔗 Drew Well, again, you...

1:09:23🔗 Adam No, hold on. Do you give this dog oral sex until the dog has an orgasm?

1:09:27🔗 Guest No, he can't. He's been fixed.

1:09:29🔗 Caller That dog is a gay homosexual.

1:09:31🔗 Drew So people do funny stuff.

1:09:33🔗 Adam I'm starting to believe him.

1:09:34🔗 Drew Yeah. And Richard, this is more about the sexual abuse, it sounds like, and that's something that needs to be treated. And this may be just some of the acting out.

1:09:44🔗 Adam No, no, wait a minute, does the dog, you know how the dog penis is like a lipstick?

1:09:48🔗 Guest Yeah.

1:09:49🔗 Adam Coming out of the thing? Does the lipstick part come out of the thing?

1:09:52🔗 Guest Yeah, it's like, I don't know, it's like gets like a little ball down there and then it pops out.

1:09:56🔗 Adam Yeah. What's that taste like?

1:10:00🔗 Guest Iron.

1:10:01🔗 Adam Tastes like iron? Yeah. Has a metallic taste to it?

1:10:04🔗 Guest Yeah, but something like that.

1:10:06🔗 Adam Hold on a second. This story's checking out. Yeah. I hate to say it, but it's checking out. Iron's a weird, that's not a BS answer. I could see that too, because the dog's probably makes you like a metallic. First off, dog eats nothing but meat. Yeah. You know what I mean?

1:10:26🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:10:27🔗 Adam So I could see it having an iron.

1:10:29🔗 Drew Lots of iron in its system.

1:10:31🔗 Adam Well, it's true, right?

1:10:33🔗 Drew All right.

1:10:34🔗 Adam You don't see dog eating a cauliflower or anything. It's nothing but just mushed up horses, right?

1:10:40🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:10:41🔗 Adam Okay.

1:10:41🔗 Drew They need the horse penis and the dog penis to do the same thing for them. This one's bigger. You know what I mean? They both have the retractable. Yeah.

1:10:49🔗 I just wanted to see the wet pink stick.

1:10:52🔗 Adam Is that Andy Dick?

1:10:53🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:10:54🔗 Adam All right. So, Richard?

1:10:55🔗 Guest Yeah.

1:10:57🔗 Adam I believe you.

1:10:58🔗 Guest Okay.

1:10:58🔗 Adam All right. You got a lady friend?

1:11:01🔗 Guest I actually just broke up one year.

1:11:03🔗 Drew So this may be just other forms of-

1:11:05🔗 Adam Broke up with your girl? Huh? You broke up with your girlfriend? Yeah.

1:11:08🔗 Guest Yeah.

1:11:09🔗 Adam Why? Because she spoke and stuff like that? No.

1:11:11🔗 Guest She was really weird. She was actually 13.

1:11:13🔗 Drew Oh.

1:11:15🔗 Adam You weren't blowing her, were you?

1:11:17🔗 Guest Actually, I was.

1:11:19🔗 Drew Oh, boy.

1:11:20🔗 Adam Hey, Richard?

1:11:21🔗 Guest Yeah.

1:11:22🔗 Adam Here's the important thing in life. I don't really care that you blow your dog.

1:11:27🔗 Guest Yeah.

1:11:27🔗 Adam I really don't. That's fine with me. Whatever you want to do in the comfort and safety of your parents' house to your own pet, it's none of my beeswax. It really isn't.

1:11:38🔗 Guest Okay.

1:11:38🔗 Adam The only thing that worries me about any of this kind of bizarre behavior for anybody is what does that mean for society?

1:11:46🔗 Drew Right. What do you might do to people?

1:11:49🔗 Adam If you're capable of giving your dog a BJ, certainly you're capable of screwing with someone who's underage or doing something bad, hurting someone else's life.

1:11:58🔗 Guest I pretty much keep to myself. I'm really popular at school. I just, nobody knows.

1:12:03🔗 Adam No, no. Wait a minute. Now, why would he call if nobody knows?

1:12:06🔗 Guest Because I just, I felt it was wrong and every time I do it I feel guilty, but I still get the urge.

1:12:11🔗 Adam Right, right.

1:12:12🔗 Guest But I just, I would like to stop, but.

1:12:18🔗 Adam So you're going to stop and I just let another good fart go. All right. Hey, Richard.

1:12:24🔗 Guest Yeah.

1:12:25🔗 Adam Feel free to stop.

1:12:26🔗 Drew This is another kind of a sexual compulsion. It's sexual behaviors that cause distress or could be harmful to people or animals. That's something that needs to be treated, Richard.

1:12:34🔗 Adam How can he just stop?

1:12:37🔗 Drew If he can't, then he's already messed with a 13 year old.

1:12:40🔗 Adam Okay. But listen, how hard would it be for you to stop blowing your dog? On a, you know what I mean?

1:12:46🔗 Drew Maybe he'll start acting out on eight year olds.

1:12:49🔗 Adam Eight year old dogs? Because that's like a 65 year old.

1:12:52🔗 Drew I just think he needs to see something about all this. He doesn't have to tell anybody what he's doing necessarily, but oh boy. Oh, what the hell did you eat?

1:13:01🔗 Adam I don't know, but there were some clams involved.

1:13:04🔗 Caller Maybe right there.

1:13:09🔗 Adam But you know what I did everybody? I took producer Anne's precious Lysol. I snatched it off the desk and threw it in the garbage, and then I let a couple of good ones sail.

1:13:26🔗 Got a break, let's go.

1:13:28🔗 Adam We're going to take a break. I'm going to swallow some air, and we'll be back. Hey, Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Drew. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. If you just join the show, I'm having a banner ass night when lots of good gas go.

1:13:49🔗 Drew Yeah, you're like erupting.

1:13:51🔗 Adam Yeah. Thanks, buddy. Yeah.

1:13:53🔗 Drew Good times.

1:13:54🔗 Adam Good times. Let's see if we can cook up during this.

1:14:00🔗 Melanie. Yes, hi.

1:14:02🔗 Adam Hey, you're 23. What's up, baby?

1:14:04🔗 Caller Hey, what's going on?

1:14:05🔗 Adam Hey, what's happening?

1:14:06🔗 Oh, not bad.

1:14:07🔗 Adam All righty. What's your question?

1:14:09🔗 Caller Oh, no.

1:14:10🔗 Problem, you mean?

1:14:11🔗 Adam Yeah. What's your problem?

1:14:13🔗 Drew This is Adam's version of introspection. A little concentrating on producing gas.

1:14:20🔗 Drew Yeah, I can feel you focusing. You like got the eye of the ninja here.

1:14:23🔗 Caller Shh.

1:14:24🔗 Drew Go ahead.

1:14:24🔗 What's going on over there?

1:14:25🔗 Drew Oh, I wish I knew. I wish it could be stopped.

1:14:29🔗 Well, the problem is, okay, I met this guy. We lived in the same building together. He lived upstairs and I lived downstairs. And that's how we met. And we were dating for a couple of months. And just recently, two weeks ago, he moved out. And ever since then, it's just been weird. Like whenever I call him on the phone, I'll probably talk to him for like 30 seconds. And I'll be like right in the middle of a conversation with him and then, or trying to start one. And then he'll be like, yeah, you know, I got to go by and like click, like hang up on me, you know.

1:15:00🔗 Drew Has the guy never broken up with you before?

1:15:02🔗 No, no.

1:15:03🔗 Drew You've never had a breakup?

1:15:04🔗 Caller No.

1:15:05🔗 Adam Well, here you go.

1:15:06🔗 Drew This is how they work.

1:15:07🔗 Caller Really?

1:15:08🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:15:08🔗 Adam He's heading out.

1:15:10🔗 Yeah, you know, and it's like, I don't know what to do. It's just been probably for the past couple of weeks or something.

1:15:15🔗 Drew And by the way, this is the way cowards do it.

1:15:18🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:15:18🔗 Drew They're shutting you out, shutting you out, shutting you out as opposed to saying, hey, you know what, yeah, they treat you like a bill collector. Yeah.

1:15:25🔗 Caller It sucks.

1:15:26🔗 I didn't do anything wrong and everything was cool with our relationship before.

1:15:30🔗 Adam Yeah, that's what they all say.

1:15:31🔗 You know what, like, I think it was because like when we lived in the same building, it was really easy to see each other. And then like lately, it had been...

1:15:38🔗 Drew Well, you were a service contractor.

1:15:40🔗 Adam Yes. In your mind, like, if he could have drilled a hole in his floor and stuck his penis through it, you hop up on a chair and give him a BJ through the ceiling.

1:15:48🔗 Well, of course I would.

1:15:49🔗 Adam He would have been happy about that.

1:15:50🔗 Drew Do you understand that would have been all he's looking for? You understand?

1:15:55🔗 Yes, but he didn't really assume that that's all he was looking for.

1:15:58🔗 Adam I know. But listen, here's what happened. And we don't want to be too hard on you. But because you were having sex, you assumed you two were boyfriend and girlfriend. He assumed it was more of a service thing, a convenience thing. And now that he's moved out, he's into somebody else or once out. And in his mind, he's rationalizing. He's saying, hey, I never said I was her boyfriend. I never made any kind of commitment. I never gave her a ring.

1:16:24🔗 Drew She was just the girl who lived downstairs.

1:16:25🔗 Adam There's no reason to officially break up. We never were together.

1:16:28🔗 Caller Really?

1:16:28🔗 Adam But meanwhile, you were feeling like, you know, you're having an intimate relationship with somebody.

1:16:33🔗 Drew Listen, listen to what Adam said about drilling the hole in the floor.

1:16:36🔗 Caller Okay.

1:16:37🔗 Drew That is reality.

1:16:40🔗 Adam Okay, so there you go. This happens to everybody.

1:16:43🔗 Yeah, well, it just seems so abrupt, you know?

1:16:46🔗 Adam I know, I know.

1:16:48🔗 It seems abrupt. It seems like we're having so much fun together.

1:16:50🔗 Adam Listen, I've had this question a hundred and fifty times over. Yeah. It's like, what the hell's up? We're having a good time? I'm not doing anything? Sex is fun? Where are you going? What's going on?

1:17:02🔗 Yeah, like whenever he comes over here, which is rarely, like I'll try to go kiss him and then he'll like totally push me away. Like he'll be like, no, you know, like push me away. Then he'll come over. He's slept over here every night. He totally slept on the couch and like left me in my bed, like totally alone, didn't even want me over there.

1:17:17🔗 Adam So what's he going to have to do? Will he sock you in the stomach next time he sees you to give you the message? Yeah, well, he ain't into it.

1:17:25🔗 Caller Yeah, that's all right.

1:17:26🔗 Adam That's all right. You find a nice guy. Yeah, the guy would be happy to be with you.

1:17:30🔗 Caller I guess I've got to move on.

1:17:32🔗 Drew But be more realistic about what a guy is doing in a relationship. Make it get clarity about just because a guy is having sex. Most of the time, a guy is just having sex. That doesn't mean he's having a relationship or experiencing anything other than the physical contact.

1:17:47🔗 Adam Well, also, too, it's not like you're learning the customs of a new tribe or something. People react the same way you would react in a relationship. Meaning, if you go to someone's house and you don't want to sleep with them and this person goes to kiss you and you push them away, that would mean you weren't interested. And when they do it to you, it means they're not interested. You have to assume that. All right. Let's talk to Robert who's 17. Robert? Hi. What's up?

1:18:17🔗 Caller Okay. I was having a one-night stand with this girl about four or five days ago. And I didn't use a condom. She was over at my house. And I guess the next, I was hanging out with her the next two days and we had gotten high together. And she told me that she was on her period. And she said she had just gotten over that same night or that day, the next day, after the night we had done it. And I was just wondering what the chances are because I don't know, I've heard different things from everybody about, you know, you can't, they can't get pregnant on their period.

1:18:52🔗 Drew No, they can't, but she had her period the next day, right? It's unlikely.

1:18:57🔗 Caller Unlikely, yeah.

1:18:59🔗 Drew I mean, as a precaution, you might ask somebody to take the morning after pill.

1:19:02🔗 Adam Well, if you guys had sex in their period, kicked in the next day, you're fine.

1:19:06🔗 Drew There are certain, some areas, some plant parents won't even give you the pill, the morning after pill, if she has a period.

1:19:11🔗 Adam And it is, in order to get pregnant, you have to be ovulating and most women aren't ovulating on their period, right, Drew?

1:19:19🔗 Drew Exactly.

1:19:21🔗 Adam It doesn't make it impossible. It just means it's highly unlikely.

1:19:25🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:19:25🔗 Caller Cause with my ex-girlfriend, I never used a condom.

1:19:29🔗 Drew Why you got lucky?

1:19:31🔗 Caller She was on birth control.

1:19:32🔗 Drew Oh, You didn't get lucky. You made the appropriate, you planned.

1:19:36🔗 Caller And I pulled out also.

1:19:38🔗 Drew Well, listen, the pill is overwhelmingly effective.

1:19:42🔗 Caller Is it really?

1:19:42🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:19:43🔗 Caller So it is.

1:19:44🔗 Drew All right. Good boy.

1:19:47🔗 Adam Well, I had sex with my girlfriend unprotected for years. Never got her pregnant. Oh, she was on the pill. She'd had her tubes tied. She was dead. You know, when you're constructing those kinds of thoughts and sentences in your mind, how does that work? At what point do you just stop yourself? Do you know what I mean? Yeah. Where's the editing? Christina?

1:20:13🔗 Caller Hey, what's up, guys?

1:20:14🔗 Adam Hey, you're 19. What's happening, babe?

1:20:17🔗 Caller Well, I'm having some little difficult times right now. I mean, I just had a job for about two years, the same place. And then I quit because I got a better job opportunity. And I went there and then all of a sudden I got laid off a month later because some bad stuff is going on there, illegal stuff.

1:20:42🔗 Drew What kind of job was this?

1:20:43🔗 Caller It was a moving company and it was kind of an underground type thing going on. I've been paid under the table and all sorts of stuff like that. And I'm like a shopaholic and I've been that way for quite some time now.

1:21:07🔗 Adam You like buying stuff or you like shop class?

1:21:10🔗 Caller I like buying things.

1:21:11🔗 Adam I see. I'm always confused when I hear that.

1:21:13🔗 Caller Left and right. I go on the Internet and I buy things.

1:21:20🔗 Adam You have no money though, right?

1:21:22🔗 Caller I had credit cards and I tried to pay them and now it's just come down to I have like no money because I've been laid off and now I'm back at my old job which pays like crap.

1:21:35🔗 Drew Why don't you declare bankruptcy?

1:21:37🔗 Adam Really? Should she really do that?

1:21:39🔗 Drew Because you know why? Chapter 7, I think it is, is about to sort of be undone, where you can be excused from your debts and they're going to get rid of that basically.

1:21:49🔗 Caller I really don't want to do that. I mean, I live at home right now.

1:21:52🔗 Adam Right.

1:21:52🔗 Caller And I know that my dad's telling me that's the worst thing I can do right now.

1:21:57🔗 Adam Well, look, how much do you owe?

1:21:59🔗 Caller It's about $10,000 worth of credit card.

1:22:04🔗 Adam All right. Don't. Yeah.

1:22:06🔗 Caller Plus I bought a car last year when I had good credit.

1:22:11🔗 Adam Right. Bought a new car.

1:22:12🔗 Caller And I'm paying for that.

1:22:15🔗 Drew And how about, can you get out from under that and start saving a little more?

1:22:19🔗 Caller And yeah, I'm trying. I don't know if I want to get two jobs. And my dad's been helping me through this whole thing.

1:22:25🔗 Drew Yeah. Get a cheaper car. Get two jobs.

1:22:28🔗 Guest Yeah.

1:22:29🔗 Caller The only problem with getting two jobs, like I'm because I got a full time boyfriend right now. I mean, I've been with him for almost two years now.

1:22:37🔗 Adam Can't he start paying you for sex?

1:22:39🔗 Caller Pay me for sex.

1:22:41🔗 Adam Well, I think he would.

1:22:43🔗 Caller Yeah, I'm sure he would. But I guess I'm good enough.

1:22:45🔗 Guest You're good?

1:22:46🔗 Adam Yeah, you work out a little payment chart. Fifteen bucks for a BJ, 20 if you swallow, 25 for intercourse, and 50 for anal.

1:22:57🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:22:59🔗 Adam Yeah. Hey, that adds up.

1:23:01🔗 Drew Hey, huh?

1:23:03🔗 Adam All right. Listen, Christina, look, we don't know anything about my dad.

1:23:08🔗 Drew I like Christina.

1:23:09🔗 Adam I'm fine with Christina, too.

1:23:10🔗 Drew She's going to be fine.

1:23:10🔗 Adam She's living at home or dad's helping around.

1:23:12🔗 Drew She's going to be fine. Just bite the bullet. I think she's resisting, really taking the plunge. She wants to keep her car. She wants to keep shopping. Time to grow up, Christina. It's time.

1:23:22🔗 Adam All right. Drew, did you have a credit card when you were younger? Your folks gave you that credit card but told you couldn't use it for anything?

1:23:29🔗 Drew And I didn't.

1:23:30🔗 Adam And you didn't, but you had it.

1:23:31🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:23:32🔗 Adam But it's good to have, like, if you need to rent a car.

1:23:34🔗 Drew I was across the country and stuff. Yeah.

1:23:36🔗 Adam Yeah. I had, I think I got my first credit card when I was, like, 26. And it was one of those secured ones, where you give them 500 and then they let you use 300 of your money. It's really retarded. And then they're worried, you know, about you paying them back, you get these notices. It's like, listen, give me a worst-case scenario here, a bank of Hoven. It was worst-case scenario. I gave you 500 bucks, right? I've just spent 310 bucks. You're holding 500 of my money. Let's just say I stopped making my payments. How bad, how bad could this go for you? You know what I mean? You got the 500 there. It's always funny, too. You give them, you know, you have to give them 500, but they don't give you the whole 500 credit. You know, they save a little, little something for wear and tear. Oh, that's nice. Yeah. Then you get that credit card debt going. And what they don't really tell you is they give you that minimum payment. You make that minimum payment for the rest of your life. I made that minimum payment thing.

1:24:37🔗 Drew Well, the thing accrues.

1:24:37🔗 Adam You pay like $39 a month. The principal is like $4,000. You pay $39 a month. Three years goes by. Principal, same amount. Didn't pay anything off. Horrible, horrible life. Thank God. I'm literally a millionaire right now. Literally, literally. And Drew.

1:24:55🔗 Drew Literally?

1:24:55🔗 Adam I'm going to enrich your life.

1:24:56🔗 Caller No, no, no.

1:24:58🔗 Drew Let's go. Break, break, break, break, break.

1:25:00🔗 Adam No, no, no.

1:25:03🔗 Drew You won't see me cry.

1:25:12🔗 Adam And, you know, for those of you who think the flapping is just some sort of ritual that guys go through or some sort of theatrics, it's not. It works. Right, Drew? Doesn't it? Devin? Yes. I just nailed Drew. Drew loves it. Just killed him. He does like it. The door is closed. He likes it in his own way. In his own way.

1:25:37🔗 Caller How are you guys doing?

1:25:38🔗 Adam Yeah, 26. I just let a huge fart go. Let a big fart go on Drew.

1:25:42🔗 Caller Do what?

1:25:43🔗 Adam Drew is no good to anybody.

1:25:45🔗 Caller I just want to tell you guys first of all, I love your show. I listen to it every night.

1:25:49🔗 Adam Thank you.

1:25:49🔗 Caller You guys are great.

1:25:50🔗 Adam Thanks, Devin.

1:25:51🔗 Caller You're doing it by yourself.

1:25:52🔗 Adam Thanks. Devin, we got to take a break because Drew has to stick his head out of the window.

1:25:58🔗 Caller Okay.

1:25:58🔗 Caller Don't fart again.

1:26:00🔗 Adam I'm going to save it during the break and then I'll just save it for when we come back to the studio. All right. You were molested by your older brother?

1:26:07🔗 Caller Yes.

1:26:09🔗 Adam You want to know if that made you gay?

1:26:10🔗 Caller Yes.

1:26:11🔗 Adam Are you gay now?

1:26:13🔗 Caller That's the only relationship I've ever had was gay relationships.

1:26:16🔗 Drew You're gay, right?

1:26:18🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:26:19🔗 Adam Well, maybe, maybe not. Well, we'll get to the bottom of that. Drew is going to get to the bottom of my bottom when we come back.

1:26:24🔗 Drew All right.

1:26:25🔗 Adam All right. Hold on a second. Have you been to the bottom, Drew? You didn't like the way it looked?

1:26:31🔗 Drew I want to go vomit.

1:26:32🔗 Adam All right. Drew is going to go vomit and we'll be back with Devon who may or may not be gay after this.

1:26:38🔗 Drew Hello.

1:26:38🔗 Caller This is your radio.

1:26:43🔗 Adam Hey, Drew, did you spray some Lysol in here?

1:26:46🔗 Drew It's like kryptonite to Superman, isn't it?

1:26:48🔗 Caller Oh, dear you.

1:26:50🔗 Adam All right.

1:26:51🔗 Drew I couldn't walk back in here.

1:26:53🔗 Adam Really?

1:26:53🔗 Drew It was bad. Yeah.

1:26:54🔗 Adam Come on. You're just saying that.

1:26:56🔗 Drew No.

1:26:56🔗 Adam You really mean that, dude?

1:26:57🔗 Drew Yeah, I mean it.

1:26:58🔗 Adam Thanks, man.

1:26:59🔗 Caller Thanks.

1:27:00🔗 Adam Devon?

1:27:01🔗 Caller Yes, I'm here. Say what?

1:27:05🔗 Adam You're 26 years old.

1:27:06🔗 Caller I'm 26 years old.

1:27:07🔗 Adam Your brother molested you for how long?

1:27:09🔗 Caller About eight years.

1:27:11🔗 Adam Eight years?

1:27:11🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:27:12🔗 Adam That's a pretty good run.

1:27:13🔗 Caller And he's in prison for life now. He was accused of sexually molesting a three-year-old little girl. But I sat through his trial. I don't think that he actually did it. But he also molested me and my two, my oldest sister and my youngest sister.

1:27:31🔗 Drew No, Adam, no.

1:27:32🔗 Adam But you don't think he could have done that?

1:27:33🔗 Drew You're moving into a position there. Come on.

1:27:35🔗 Adam You don't think he could?

1:27:36🔗 Caller Well, no. I sat through the trial, but he was in, and it was really ludicrous. I really do. I believe it was. Anyway.

1:27:44🔗 Adam Right. But the other thing that's interesting about this is he molested you for eight years. Right. He molested your two little sisters for a number of years, but he was accused of molesting a two-year-old. You just don't think he could have done it?

1:27:57🔗 Caller Well, he had kids, and he never messed with his kids. Anyway, my question goes back.

1:28:03🔗 Drew You don't know that, do you?

1:28:04🔗 Adam I'd say it's just a lot easier to believe that a guy molested his sisters and his brother could have molested somebody. Well, my question goes back. Is he in jail for life for doing this?

1:28:15🔗 Caller Yes, he's in jail for life without parole in Texas.

1:28:20🔗 Adam For molesting?

1:28:21🔗 Caller Right.

1:28:22🔗 Adam Without a bunch of priors? He must have had a bunch of...

1:28:24🔗 Caller No, nothing. He was actually a prison guard in Texas. And so he's like in solitary confinement, you know, and all that.

1:28:31🔗 Drew And some missing. You don't go to solitary just because.

1:28:38🔗 Caller Well, he was a prison guard, so they had to keep him away.

1:28:40🔗 Adam Oh, they keep him segregated.

1:28:43🔗 Caller Yeah, they keep him so he won't like get killed or anything. Anyway.

1:28:46🔗 Adam Okay, so now you're gay.

1:28:48🔗 Caller Well, I met someone when I was 13. And I was with him for seven years.

1:28:53🔗 Adam Cool.

1:28:54🔗 Caller And we broke up. It was a really nasty breakup. I mean, I was really popular in school. He was a football player. And, you know, things just really went wrong. People started finding out about us, you know. And we broke up. Now I'm 26. I've moved to Oklahoma. I was in Texas then. And I've not really had any substantial relationships since then. And just here lately, I've, you know, started seeing girls in a different way. And I'm just wondering if my mom tells me that I taught her how I was. I taught her that I was gay, you know. Right. And she thinks that I think I'm gay because I was molested by my brother.

1:29:33🔗 Drew Well, however it happens, it's done. It's pretty much done. You understand? It's not something that can be undone, even though the inciting influence, whether it's something you're born with, and there's good evidence that there's some biological predisposition for certain kinds of homosexuality, or whether it's because you're sexually abused, once your brain's sort of wired that way, that's the way it's set up. It's really not thought that it can be undone.

1:29:57🔗 Caller But I, I feel like I'm gay, you know, but...

1:30:00🔗 Drew That's what I'm saying.

1:30:01🔗 Adam Right. We're with you on the gay part. Alright, so here's the deal. Whether this happened because of your brother, or whether this happened because God wanted you to be gay, you're born with it. Either way, you're gay. Right. So, let's not fight it. We'll find a guy and enjoy a gay lifestyle.

1:30:23🔗 Caller But I've had a really traumatic, you know, life. I mean...

1:30:26🔗 Adam Oh, I understand. But, okay, so listen, here's what you need to do, Devon. You sound like a good guy, and you've had a lot of bad things happen to you. Here's your plan. You've got to get some counseling for all this molestation and the horrible family life.

1:30:39🔗 Caller I've had counseling for that.

1:30:40🔗 Adam You keep it going.

1:30:41🔗 Caller And I've also, I turned into a drug addict when I was like 16. I got on cocaine.

1:30:45🔗 Adam All right, but you're clean now?

1:30:48🔗 Caller No. I got like eight DUIs.

1:30:51🔗 Drew All right, Devon, so get with the program. Get a sponsor, start going to meetings, work the steps. There's a lot to be done here. But don't worry about your sexual orientation.

1:30:59🔗 Adam Here it is. You work on your sobriety from drugs or booze or whatever, and you work on the counseling from the horrific past that you've had. And as far as whether you're gay or not, that'll all come into picture. I mean, it'll come into focus as these other things clear up.

1:31:16🔗 Drew You'll find there are a lot of people in the program that have history of sexual abuse.

1:31:19🔗 Adam Right. Danny?

1:31:20🔗 Oh, hi.

1:31:21🔗 Adam You're 14?

1:31:23🔗 Yeah.

1:31:23🔗 Adam What's up?

1:31:24🔗 Caller Oh my God.

1:31:25🔗 Adam What's up, buddy?

1:31:25🔗 Caller I can't believe I'm talking to you guys live.

1:31:27🔗 Adam Good times. Good to talk to you, Danny. Tickled pink.

1:31:30🔗 Caller I was listening to you guys on the radio once. I'm talking to you guys.

1:31:33🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:31:33🔗 Drew Well, here we are.

1:31:36🔗 Caller I had a question for Dr. Drew. Dr. Drew, how did you get like your own? Like what did you do or what did you have to do to come?

1:31:52🔗 Drew To do what I do.

1:31:53🔗 Adam To get on the radio?

1:31:54🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:31:55🔗 Adam You had to blow the program director's name is Trip Reeb.

1:31:58🔗 Drew Total accident for me. Really? Yeah, total accident. And I didn't really embrace it until about four years ago. Started looking more seriously at doing more media.

1:32:09🔗 Adam Started getting paid.

1:32:11🔗 Drew I wasn't paid for ten years. I was just doing it as a community service.

1:32:14🔗 Adam What do you want to do when you grow up, Danny? I don't know.

1:32:19🔗 Caller I drum.

1:32:20🔗 Adam You want to be a drummer? Yeah.

1:32:22🔗 Caller I like drumming.

1:32:23🔗 Adam Very, very realistical. You want to be in a rock band?

1:32:26🔗 Caller Play football.

1:32:28🔗 Adam Professional football player, drummer? You can tour during the off season.

1:32:32🔗 Caller Astronaut?

1:32:33🔗 Adam Yeah. I wanted to be an astronaut pirate when I was 14. Still do.

1:32:39🔗 Drew The pirate part, you're just about there.

1:32:41🔗 Adam I'm getting close. Yeah. I've been flying the Brown Jolly Roger all day long in this studio.

1:32:47🔗 Drew Yeah, you have.

1:32:49🔗 Adam Deidre.

1:32:50🔗 Drew Deidre?

1:32:54🔗 Adam Boy, do I hate your parents with that name. What's up there, Deidre?

1:32:58🔗 Caller I just started having sex with my boyfriend not too long ago.

1:33:01🔗 Adam How do you spell your name, by the way?

1:33:03🔗 Caller D-I-E-D-R-A.

1:33:05🔗 Adam Does everyone mispronounce it?

1:33:07🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:33:08🔗 Drew Because it's Deidre.

1:33:09🔗 Adam Yeah. It's Deidre, right?

1:33:11🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:33:12🔗 Adam Just start calling yourself Deidre, would you please?

1:33:14🔗 Caller Okay.

1:33:16🔗 Adam It'll be a lot easier.

1:33:17🔗 Caller All right.

1:33:18🔗 Adam So you start having sex.

1:33:20🔗 Caller Uh-huh. And my boyfriend was born with some sort of abnormally, I don't know what it is, but his penis is like a, it's not bluish, it's like a grayish brownish color almost.

1:33:32🔗 Adam Right.

1:33:32🔗 Caller And he said it's some sort of disorder he was born with.

1:33:35🔗 Drew No, no, no. No, no, no.

1:33:36🔗 Adam Right. Yes. I farted. I'm sorry. Yes.

1:33:39🔗 Disorder.

1:33:40🔗 Caller The doctor said he was born with it and he had to worry about it.

1:33:42🔗 Drew I feel like I'm seeing a firing squad waiting for the bulls to arrive.

1:33:47🔗 Caller But ever since we started having sex, I've been getting some sort of weird rash and a weird discharge. It's like a pinkish yellow color.

1:33:56🔗 Drew Well, why don't you get that checked out? That has nothing to do with the color of his penis.

1:33:59🔗 Adam Right. Don't focus on the color of his penis. Focus on your discharge. And that's just from having sex. You got to get a pelvic exam if you're sexually active. We're going to take a little break. Well, there you go. Boy, that show, I'll tell you, the gas just made a fly for me, Drew. Blue by, blue by. Dream show for me. Dream show. Good work, buddy.

1:34:23🔗 Drew Good couple weeks coming up here.

1:34:24🔗 Adam Yeah. Good times.

1:34:25🔗 Drew You want to mention those?

1:34:27🔗 Adam No. We're going to take a nice extended 22 hour break. I'm going to evacuate my bowels.

1:34:31🔗 Drew Thank you.

1:34:32🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:34:32🔗 Drew Please.

1:34:33🔗 Adam All right.

1:34:35🔗 Drew Come on. Come on.

1:34:39🔗 Adam Come on, Drew. The show's not over, buddy.

1:34:42🔗 Caller It ain't over.

1:34:49🔗 Adam Oh, that was good. Oh, yeah. All right. So until next time, this is Adam Carolla for Dr. Drew saying Mahalo.

1:34:57🔗 Drew How long have you been attending to go in the Army? The Army.

1:35:00🔗 Caller I told her it was going to be free.

1:35:03🔗 Caller This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or this station. The producer for Loveline is Ann Wilkins Dingle. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

Episode Feedback