Sunday, July 29, 2001

1:13🔗 Adam Hey, everybody, it's Loveline, I'm Adam Corolla, that's Dr. Drew, together at last, Dr. Drew, Board Certified Internist and Addiction Medicine Specialist.

1:23🔗 Drew Thank you.

1:24🔗 Ow!

1:25🔗 Adam Yes, indeed, indeed. Phone number 1-800-LLVE-191. David Alan Greer coming up a little bit later this week. Harlan Williams, the comedian will be in here. And Bill Dwyer from Battle Bots, which is a show I very much enjoy.

1:43🔗 Drew Yeah, you watch a little too much that, don't you?

1:45🔗 Adam Maybe. On Comedy Central, and speaking of Comedy Central, it's all the man show on tonight, Sunday night, 10 o'clock Comedy Central. So, Drew was in Italy.

1:56🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:57🔗 Adam Yeah, how was that?

1:58🔗 Drew A blast.

1:58🔗 Adam Yeah?

1:59🔗 Drew Fabulous, yeah.

1:59🔗 Adam Really? Why? What's good about it?

2:04🔗 Drew Well, it's first, I have kind of used that word. Listen, it was time with my wife alone. It was a quiet time. It was an incredible, rich, cultural experience. I saw a ton, a ton.

2:17🔗 Adam Yeah, you went to the museums.

2:19🔗 Drew Museums.

2:20🔗 Adam I saw all the sights.

2:21🔗 Drew Yeah, just whatever we wanted to do, it was great. Traveled down to the heartland of Tuscany with the San Gimignano and these walled medieval cities. Unbelievable.

2:31🔗 Adam Any guys try to rape your wife? That's what I hear.

2:35🔗 Drew Yeah, a couple, but those are right.

2:36🔗 Adam They yell a lot. They reach. They grab their.

2:40🔗 Drew Yeah, a lot of Mamma Mia and reaching and.

2:41🔗 Adam Really?

2:42🔗 Drew Yeah.

2:42🔗 Adam I think they're very touchy people.

2:44🔗 Drew Yeah. Somehow, what happened to you?

2:48🔗 Adam I don't know.

2:48🔗 Drew You're Italian.

2:49🔗 Adam I'm Italian. I just don't like people touching me. I don't like to touch people. Maybe that's why they threw the Carollas out of Italy.

2:57🔗 Drew There's a reason most of those people came over here.

3:00🔗 Adam Yeah.

3:00🔗 Drew Things weren't working in Italy for you.

3:02🔗 Adam Oh, there's no doubt the Carollas, there were not high government officials over there in Italy. Now, I think they may have been tossed out more than leaving looking for a better life.

3:14🔗 Drew In fact, did you see the riots in Genoa? No. Bush and the G7 was meeting in Genoa, and Bush ended up in Rome the same day we were in Rome, and some guy led us right in the middle of a riot, right in the middle.

3:26🔗 Adam Is the G7 that economic?

3:28🔗 Drew Yeah, basically.

3:28🔗 Adam Summit? Yeah. They riot everywhere they go, right?

3:32🔗 Drew Yeah, but because Bush came to Rome, happened to be the same day we were there, they blocked all the streets out, we had to jump out of a cab, this guy who's sort of guiding us goes, come on down here. We walk in, there's a group of communists here, a group of police with the plastic shields up and the helmets, marching towards, we appear right here, right in the middle.

3:50🔗 Adam Drew's doing some good radio, he's using a steno pad and his finger in the mic cord to illustrate it, but basically he walked in the middle of the police and the rioters.

3:59🔗 Drew What happened? Two Americans show up and we ran out the other side.

4:03🔗 Adam Nice.

4:04🔗 Drew Nice.

4:04🔗 Adam All right. You good?

4:06🔗 Drew Yeah. How are you?

4:06🔗 Adam You ready to rock? I'm tired. I'm very, very tired.

4:08🔗 Drew Why?

4:09🔗 Adam Because I was shooting, I shot for 20 hours, some man show stuff in Vegas last night until about 4 a.m. and I just haven't got my clock, my clock haven't got it back yet, but don't worry, I'm going to do one hell of a show tonight, one hell of a show, you mother effers. Shane? Shane?

4:28🔗 Hi.

4:28🔗 Adam What's up?

4:29🔗 I was wondering if those breast enhancement pills and creams were like effective at all?

4:36🔗 Drew I would say not, not to any significant extent.

4:40🔗 But what about like their guarantees and all their testimonials and like all that stuff?

4:45🔗 Adam There's guarantees on a lot of stuff and I think they just know that a certain amount of people who buy the thing are going to be too lazy to return it or they won't return your money guarantee or not. Because it seems like the dicier the product, the greater the guarantee. I mean, close your eyes and think about all the things where they go 100% satisfaction, money back guarantee.

5:05🔗 Drew And you're thinking, no way.

5:07🔗 Adam Yeah, because it's the levitating shoes.

5:10🔗 Drew Here's the other thing. It's $15 to ship everything back and it's $4 for the product.

5:14🔗 Adam Right. So what are you looking into? The pills?

5:17🔗 Yeah, I mean, because I guess I don't know what other option I would have except for like breast surgery and that seems kind of scary.

5:26🔗 Adam What's going on with your breast?

5:27🔗 They're just super small.

5:29🔗 Adam Yeah, they're A-cups?

5:30🔗 Yeah, they're A.

5:31🔗 Drew I don't see how anything could work that didn't have estrogen effects. And if you're using estrogen, like in a birth control pill, that kind of thing, sometimes there can be breast growth. But if you're using those sorts of...

5:41🔗 But when I gain weight, like if I was going to go on birth control?

5:44🔗 Drew I'm just saying, if you're using products that increase your breast size, the only modality, the only way I believe that can happen is with estrogen. And then you're using a chemical and you're using something that could be potentially dangerous.

5:55🔗 Adam Well, listen, do guys complain about your breasts?

6:00🔗 Not really, but I mean, it's more of like my own... It's not like really a problem of other people. It's more for me. Like, it's like I just want to look better in my clothes. And I don't know, it's more of a personal thing.

6:13🔗 Adam All right. Well, do you have almost no breasts?

6:17🔗 I have some breasts.

6:19🔗 Adam There's a lot of women that are that way, and a lot of beautiful, desirable women. I don't desire them, but a lot of gay guys are into that. Like Drew over here.

6:27🔗 Drew You're making her feel a lot better.

6:30🔗 Adam I am telling you that I sit in an office with two guys, namely Daniel Kellison and Jimmy Kimmel, my two partners from the Man Show, and argue with them over why big boobs are better all day long. And they go, no, not interested, don't care.

6:43🔗 Bouncy, bouncy.

6:45🔗 Adam You understand?

6:46🔗 Drew Yeah.

6:46🔗 Adam All right. So you're fine. A lot of guys are in it.

6:49🔗 Drew Also, you're 17.

6:50🔗 Adam Look at all the models.

6:51🔗 Drew A couple of years more.

6:52🔗 Adam Look at all those goddamn waif models. You know what I understand about women? They really make it hard on themselves. You know, they go, well, we have to look at people like Kate Moss as an example of people we're supposed to, you know, and then Kate Moss is flat chested. There's nothing going on there. Right. But they take Kate Moss' lower half, her legs and ass, and then they take Dolly Parton's top. And we see images like Kate Moss and Dolly Parton, and we think that we're supposed to be, well, those are two different women.

7:26🔗 Drew Right.

7:26🔗 Yeah.

7:28🔗 Adam Most of these women that you guys are all vomiting for to look like and having all these eating disorders and stuff are basically flat chested. I mean, you sit there and watch one of these runway shows and these models heading down the runway in Milan, and they're they're very flat chested.

7:44🔗 Drew What's with your partners?

7:45🔗 Adam What about them?

7:46🔗 Drew They sit in strip bars all night. How dare you? Look at them with big chests and then complain about it.

7:51🔗 Adam How dare you? They've never been in a strip club, either one of them that I'm aware of. Aaron? Yeah. What? I don't know why they don't.

8:01🔗 Drew There's a lot of things these guys don't like.

8:02🔗 Adam They don't like nice. They don't like nice. They don't like nice big cans.

8:05🔗 Drew They don't like cars.

8:06🔗 Adam No, they like medium cans. A lot of guys are this way.

8:10🔗 Drew No, no, but those guys sit in strip clubs for a long period of time, isn't that?

8:13🔗 Adam Well, if you want to call seven hours a long period, well, then so be it.

8:18🔗 Drew They're not in the cars?

8:19🔗 Adam No, not in the cars or woodworking or...

8:21🔗 Drew What?

8:22🔗 Adam Why do they call themselves men? I don't know how that works. Aaron?

8:25🔗 Yeah.

8:25🔗 Adam Year 21?

8:26🔗 That's right.

8:27🔗 Adam Yeah, speaking of men, the man show's on tonight.

8:29🔗 Drew Oh, please.

8:30🔗 I'm missing it.

8:31🔗 Drew Yeah, damn.

8:33🔗 Adam What's up there, Aaron?

8:34🔗 Hey, question. I had my testicle removed about two to three years ago.

8:40🔗 What happened?

8:41🔗 Got twisted. Got torn without that little piece of skin.

8:44🔗 Drew You had a torsion?

8:45🔗 That was called.

8:47🔗 Drew Okay.

8:48🔗 I was a little boy.

8:49🔗 Ouch.

8:51🔗 Yeah. So, I cried about it, man, afterwards.

8:55🔗 Drew Because you felt you'd lost something?

8:57🔗 Probably.

8:57🔗 Adam Well, wait a minute. You got it removed two, three years ago, right?

9:00🔗 Yeah, just about.

9:01🔗 Adam But it had been twisted since you were a little boy?

9:05🔗 Well, you know, it hurt, you know, sometimes, and it'd go away, then it hurt again, and it'd go away. Right. You know, about four months ago, I started to feel this, you know, growth in my sac. It was where the nut used to be, like it was trying to grow another nut back, you know what I mean? But obviously, it ain't.

9:20🔗 Drew It's probably a varicoseal. There are veins that swell up and get left behind there.

9:24🔗 Yeah, but you see, it's been happening. Sometimes it goes away, sometimes it comes back, but now it's been going on for like a long time.

9:30🔗 Drew You can get hernias down there. You need to have a doctor take a look at it. I promise you it's not a testicle growing back, guaranteed.

9:35🔗 You don't think it's cancer or anything like that?

9:37🔗 Drew The testicle's gone, so I really doubt that, unless there's something about the what, they just removed it partially, but I suspect they removed the whole thing, and there are lots of other things that can drop down there, so have that checked out.

9:47🔗 Adam Could be one of those phantom pain things, like when someone gets their arm removed, and they still think they feel pain in the elbow, but the arm is removed. Can you get phantom blue balls?

9:58🔗 Drew No.

9:59🔗 Adam Why not? I mean, you get your testicle removed, and then you get phantom blue balls.

10:04🔗 Drew There is phantom arm pain, you're right. I was thinking more in terms of phantom arm, people believe when they have the arm, they're still feeling like it's moving around.

10:11🔗 Adam But, no, people get their arm removed. Well, let me explain it for the audience, Jackass. They get it removed at the shoulder, and they still say they feel some pain in their elbow, which has been in the dumpster for a couple of years now.

10:25🔗 Drew Right.

10:25🔗 Adam Or what do they do? Feed that to goats? What do they do with the arm when they cut it off?

10:28🔗 Drew Incinerate them.

10:29🔗 Adam Incinerate. Is that what they do with medical waste?

10:32🔗 Drew I think so.

10:33🔗 Adam Is that considered medical waste?

10:34🔗 Yeah.

10:35🔗 Adam Good times.

10:38🔗 Drew New man shall just get there and there.

10:40🔗 Yeah.

10:42🔗 Adam Oh boy. Megan.

10:45🔗 Yeah. Hey. What's up?

10:46🔗 Adam Hey. You're 16. What's happening?

10:48🔗 Caller Oh, hold on here. First of all, I got to say this. You guys are my heroes.

10:51🔗 Adam Thanks.

10:52🔗 Caller Yeah. I really look up to you guys a lot. So that's why I'm talking to you.

10:56🔗 Drew To yous.

10:57🔗 Caller Yeah. Sorry. Well, I've been with this guy for like two years now. Now, this might not make sense, but about a year ago, right before we were planning, we were planning for our big anniversary thing. And Kevin told me I can no longer see him because his parents forbid it. Because, well, he's Jewish, I'm not.

11:18🔗 Adam Right.

11:19🔗 Caller And also it was a long distance relationship where we managed to see each other like at least every month.

11:24🔗 Adam Sounds like Kevin said. What does Josh have to say?

11:27🔗 Caller What? What?

11:28🔗 Adam I didn't hear you. Josh? Huh? Doesn't Kevin, Kevin's friend, Josh?

11:34🔗 Caller No.

11:35🔗 Adam No.

11:36🔗 Drew Oh, Mr. Schmitz.

11:38🔗 Adam All right.

11:39🔗 Drew The math teacher.

11:40🔗 Adam So Kevin is your boyfriend, your ex-boyfriend?

11:42🔗 Caller Well, I don't know if he's my ex because we keep in touch and we talk and we email and he still says he loves me.

11:48🔗 Drew Oh, boy.

11:49🔗 Adam And who's Jewish? He is?

11:51🔗 Drew Yeah.

11:51🔗 Caller Yeah, he's Jewish.

11:52🔗 Adam And he doesn't, his parents don't want marrying a non-Jew?

11:56🔗 Caller Yeah. And he could give a crap about what his parents say, you know, and we're trying to secretly.

12:01🔗 Adam Why wouldn't he want? And listen, you want your kid smart? You want him good looking?

12:05🔗 Caller Right.

12:06🔗 Adam You know what I'm saying?

12:07🔗 Caller Oh, he's both. He's smart and good looking.

12:09🔗 Adam Yeah. But that girl ain't going to be. That's why you got to get some some goyim blood into the into the mix. Yeah.

12:16🔗 Drew But the ethnicity is really through the female. So that's a bigger issue.

12:19🔗 Adam Oh, yeah. You're screwed.

12:21🔗 Caller And like when we talk this stuff about this, we we promise each other we lose our virginity to each other. I know that sounds very complicated.

12:30🔗 Adam Okay. But now how far away is he from you?

12:32🔗 Caller He's only like two hours.

12:35🔗 Adam Oh, right. And when's the last time you saw him?

12:39🔗 Caller Sounds so bad. July 25th, 2000.

12:42🔗 Drew Boy, are you seeing other guys?

12:43🔗 Adam Hold on. 2000.

12:44🔗 Caller Yeah, it's been since the work tour. He took me to see Green Day for my birthday.

12:48🔗 Drew Are you seeing other guys in the meantime?

12:50🔗 Caller No, we've been completely faithful to each other. You know, we haven't seen each other in a long time.

12:54🔗 Drew Is he 16 also?

12:56🔗 Caller He just, well, he's 37 months younger than me, so he'll be 16 in February.

13:00🔗 Adam Oh, that's why he's remaining faithful. Wait a minute. How is it that you don't see a guy for a year and you consider him your boyfriend and you only live two hours away?

13:10🔗 Caller Well, it's just I can't sneak around his parents. We've been trying.

13:16🔗 Adam Hold on a second. I was smarter than my parents when I was nine. He can't work his way around. When did you become smarter, or at least less crazy than your parents, Drew? What was it?

13:26🔗 Caller Six months? She's like, go ahead, sneak around. I'm like, can't. His mom hates me.

13:32🔗 Adam All right. Do you have a driver's license?

13:34🔗 Caller I'm hoping to get one soon.

13:36🔗 Adam How big a pussy is this guy? He can't figure out, he can't work around his mom?

13:41🔗 Caller Trust me, his mom's pretty controlling. I'll have no fear of a Jewish mother.

13:46🔗 Adam No kidding. Jesus Christ. This guy's so whipped, he can't figure out how to get out from under his mom's thumb. He's still hanging on to her apron strings. And what do you want to be with him for anyway?

13:59🔗 Caller Because he's the first guy who's ever said I was beautiful.

14:02🔗 Drew Yeah, well, there will be others.

14:03🔗 Adam Yeah, there will be other drunken guys.

14:06🔗 Caller It's just, I don't know, some other stuff.

14:09🔗 Drew What other stuff?

14:10🔗 Caller Well, like, for his birthday, I was being funny. I took him in his bathroom. His parents were upstairs and I know what was going on. Well, I kind of gave him a bit of a hum job. Before I did it, he looked at me and said, You don't have to do this because I know you love me. I know how unbelievable this guy says this to me. And I'm like, it was my first time ever doing this. So I have the lights off. I'm pretty much chicken.

14:35🔗 Adam Hold on a second. We got to talk about Megan for a second. Megan's a little nutty.

14:40🔗 Drew Well, yeah.

14:40🔗 Adam She's got something going on.

14:42🔗 Drew This is the deal. I'm in love with this guy because A, he says I'm beautiful and B, he told me I didn't have to give him a blow job. Right. That sounds like the greatest foundation for a relationship I've heard of recently. Sounds fabulous.

14:54🔗 Adam I got some questions about Megan's dad. Megan.

14:56🔗 Caller What?

14:57🔗 Adam What kind of a hole is your dad?

14:59🔗 Caller My dad.

15:01🔗 Yeah.

15:03🔗 Caller Well, my dad and my mom sort of kind of get along.

15:08🔗 Drew No, that wasn't the question.

15:10🔗 Adam What kind of guy is your dad?

15:12🔗 Caller My dad's pretty cool. Yeah.

15:14🔗 Adam You like him?

15:14🔗 Caller Yeah. We hang out and stuff.

15:16🔗 Adam Really?

15:17🔗 Drew Hang out?

15:17🔗 Caller Yeah. Well, I mean, me and him, you know, he teaches me how to play bass guitar and...

15:23🔗 Oh, boy.

15:24🔗 Adam Does he smoke a lot of weed?

15:25🔗 Caller No, my dad doesn't smoke.

15:27🔗 Adam When did he give that up?

15:29🔗 Caller My dad gave up cigarette smoke.

15:32🔗 Adam No, I'm talking about pot.

15:34🔗 Caller I don't think he ever did pot.

15:36🔗 Adam Oh, listen. Nobody knows how to play bass guitar and doesn't smoke a ton of weed. Are you kidding me?

15:42🔗 Caller Okay, well, I think he probably did some of the 70s. I don't know.

15:45🔗 Adam All right, well, what happened to you then? You seem kind of whacked out.

15:49🔗 Caller Well, I'm a bit nervous because I'm talking to you guys.

15:51🔗 Adam Okay, but did anyone ever tell you to get on any medication or anything?

15:55🔗 Caller Well, I used to be on a low dosage of Prozac before I met Kevin. You're insane.

16:00🔗 Drew And who got you on the Prozac?

16:03🔗 Caller Well, I told my doctor that I was sick of the depression and she was like, okay, so what do we want to do about it? And I went through counseling and stuff. Okay, well, and I still go to a counselor.

16:13🔗 Drew All right, good, good. Stay with that.

16:15🔗 Adam All right, and talk to your counselor about this.

16:17🔗 Drew Yeah, for sure.

16:18🔗 Adam Well, I mean, you could talk to us about it.

16:20🔗 Drew But I'm thinking about the alternatives. She'd be acting out in a different direction if she weren't pining over this guy.

16:24🔗 Adam Yeah.

16:25🔗 Drew But Megan, here's the main thing. You need to be able to realistically assess your partners and what you want from a relationship. This relationship is built on fantasy.

16:34🔗 Adam Haven't seen the guy in over a year.

16:35🔗 Drew Over a year. And what you're saying you like in there about the guy, what you really love about him, are things that are spurious, they don't make sense. They're real.

16:42🔗 Adam Well, they're not positives, they're just not negatives.

16:45🔗 Drew Exactly.

16:47🔗 Adam He's got two legs.

16:48🔗 Drew He told me I didn't have to, he didn't force me to do something to him I didn't particularly want to do.

16:53🔗 Adam And he doesn't have herpes yet. Okay, let's talk to, and by the way, at 15 and a half, 16 years old, not seeing someone from the age of 15 to the age of 16 is a lifetime.

17:06🔗 Drew Different person at the end of that year.

17:07🔗 Adam Yeah.

17:07🔗 Drew Think about that.

17:09🔗 Yeah.

17:10🔗 Adam You're 23?

17:10🔗 Caller Yeah.

17:11🔗 First off, I want to say I'm glad you're back, Adam.

17:13🔗 Adam Thank you.

17:14🔗 Caller BattleBot is easily the second best show on television.

17:16🔗 Adam That's right. Just behind the Man Show. No, no, no, no.

17:19🔗 Caller Behind Big Guy and Rusty the Boy Robot. Cartoon show on Fox.

17:23🔗 Adam I've never seen that one.

17:25🔗 Caller Man Show, a very close third.

17:26🔗 Adam Okay.

17:27🔗 What's up?

17:28🔗 Caller Well, I called a few days ago and I got hung up on by, who's that guy that was there filling in for you?

17:34🔗 Adam I don't know.

17:36🔗 Caller Okay. Well, he hung up on me.

17:38🔗 Adam All right.

17:38🔗 Drew What's going on?

17:39🔗 Adam Who hung up?

17:40🔗 Drew Striker.

17:41🔗 Adam Okay.

17:41🔗 Caller Oh, yeah. That guy.

17:42🔗 Yeah.

17:43🔗 Caller I'm the guy that called Drew that was on house arrest. He kept asking, what did you do? When I was obviously being rather candid and I mean, I understand you guys don't like it when people don't directly answer, but I figured what you wanted to know was, was it violent or not? It's not.

17:58🔗 Drew Okay. Here's what we want to know. What did you do?

18:01🔗 Caller Okay. You want to know what I did? Okay. I stole some computers.

18:05🔗 Drew Oh, okay.

18:06🔗 Caller That's what I did.

18:06🔗 Drew From where you worked or something?

18:08🔗 Caller No.

18:09🔗 Drew Okay.

18:09🔗 Adam All right. Did you break into a store?

18:12🔗 Caller No, it was from a school.

18:13🔗 Adam Oh, all right. I'm all for that, by the way.

18:17🔗 Drew You're for that?

18:18🔗 Caller You know, I'm not taken from anybody personally.

18:20🔗 Adam No. No, that's what you call victimless crime there. I remember when I hijacked the bookmobile in the eighth grade.

18:28🔗 Drew Shocking.

18:29🔗 Adam No harm done. No harm done.

18:30🔗 Drew What did you do with all those books?

18:32🔗 Adam I burnt them in a Nazi-like bonfire in my neighbor's yard.

18:35🔗 Drew I certainly know you didn't read them.

18:37🔗 Adam No. So, Bo, you're on house arrest.

18:41🔗 Caller That's right.

18:41🔗 Adam You got one of those ankle bracelets. Oh, yeah.

18:43🔗 Caller It's a fun time.

18:44🔗 Adam Yeah. My friend Chris had one of those. You're lucky you can make it out to the mailbox without the thing going off.

18:51🔗 Caller I feel like I'm married with this.

18:52🔗 Drew You know, I was watching, I spent a lot of time on an airplane last week, and I was watching a Third Rock episode, and he was talking about things that were happening, some awful thing, and he looked at me and went, Good Times.

19:02🔗 Adam Who said that?

19:03🔗 Drew The John Lithgow character.

19:04🔗 Adam He looked at you?

19:05🔗 Drew No, no, no, no, in the episode of Third Rock.

19:09🔗 Adam Oh, really?

19:09🔗 Drew Yeah.

19:10🔗 Adam Well, I'm sure that was filmed years ago, so he didn't rip it off.

19:13🔗 Caller Phil Harman used to say that on news radio.

19:15🔗 Adam That's Good Times?

19:16🔗 Caller Oh, yeah, that's where I picked it up.

19:17🔗 Adam No, I never saw that.

19:19🔗 Caller Oh.

19:19🔗 Adam All right, so anyway there, Bo, how long are you on house arrest, and what's your question?

19:24🔗 Caller I got three months. My question I started last time was, because I have a few rules in dating, you know, I don't ask out girls while I'm at work. I don't ask out girls while they're at work, and I don't date girls I work with in close proximity.

19:36🔗 Adam All right, great. Good Times. That leaves fat whores for you to date.

19:42🔗 Caller Exactly, that I call up and I bring home.

19:44🔗 Adam Right. So?

19:46🔗 Caller So, well, you know, it's...

19:48🔗 Adam All right, are you, Bo, hold on a second, are you asking what's up with the dating and how you could do more of it?

19:56🔗 Caller Well, I just want your opinion on, you know, what am I supposed to do, trick somebody into coming over here or what?

20:01🔗 Drew In other words, you're allowed to go to work, right?

20:03🔗 Caller I can go to work and I can come home. See, he's fine.

20:05🔗 Drew He doesn't get to meet anybody unless he breaks his Cardinal Rule 1, which is date people he meets at work.

20:10🔗 Adam Why do you... Where do you work?

20:12🔗 Caller I work at a video store.

20:14🔗 Adam Oh, yeah? That seems like a good place. First off, here's the deal about working and sleeping with people you work with. You work at a law firm, you don't sleep with other attorneys. You work at a McDonald's. You go ahead and rape everyone who works there because you'll be gone in six months.

20:28🔗 Drew I think he's even talking about customers in this case.

20:30🔗 Caller Oh, yeah.

20:31🔗 Drew He wants to just meet people.

20:32🔗 Caller I'm not talking about asking anybody I work with. I'm talking about...

20:34🔗 Adam Hold on a second. Let me talk about Beau for a second without Beau talking. Beau's one of these guys who could not get blown in a brothel if he poured honey on himself and rolled in an ATM that had exploded. He could not get a BJ in a brothel. So what he does... Listen to me. All guys who have rules about dating, those are retroactive excuses for never getting laid. Listen, I don't go for this. I don't go for that. You don't go for anything because you never get laid. And now you got a reason why you never get laid. You got your rules.

21:20🔗 Drew Ask him. Ask him if that's true.

21:22🔗 Adam Who's going to admit to that? Bo, is that true?

21:24🔗 Caller Adam, that hurt.

21:25🔗 Adam I know, but there's a lot of truth in it, isn't it?

21:27🔗 Caller There's really not. I used to date a lot of girls I worked with when I worked somewhere else. But that was different because they'd be in different departments and I'm never going to date somebody I'm working with in close proximity.

21:38🔗 Adam Why not? Maybe you fall in love with them.

21:41🔗 Caller Maybe not.

21:43🔗 Drew You want a Get Agile Free card for dating at work customers.

21:49🔗 Adam Now, he wants to know what to do because how much longer are you on house arrest?

21:56🔗 Caller I got a couple of weeks left. He's driving me mad.

21:59🔗 Adam All right. Just stick out the next couple of weeks. Look, how do you answer this question? I can't go anywhere but work. I won't date anyone at work. Who do I date? Well, here's the answer to that. No answer. You answered it yourself. You did the math. You wait out your house arrest for another few weeks and then you do it. I couldn't spend 10 seconds with Bo. He'd drive me nuts. He's one of those guys. They don't know it either. There's two types of A-holes. There's the thinking man A-hole.

22:28🔗 Drew Which is that? What's that?

22:30🔗 Adam That's Bo.

22:30🔗 Drew Oh, I see.

22:31🔗 Adam Intellectual A-hole.

22:32🔗 Drew Right. Intellectualizing.

22:34🔗 Adam A-hole. And then they're just your sort of run-of-the-mill, you know, white trash A-holes. Right, right. Which are even better because at least you know what you're getting. You don't have to process them.

22:45🔗 Drew This is righteous indignation.

22:47🔗 Adam Yeah.

22:47🔗 Drew Yeah.

22:48🔗 Adam Yeah. I don't know what Bo... Bo's got a streak about him. I don't know what it is. The hair on the back of my neck stands up. All right. Let's... Where are we doing? What do we got the man show on in there? Yeah. I'm going to go watch that. All right. We'll take a break. Oh, it's a commercial?

23:32🔗 Drew I appreciate that.

23:34🔗 Caller Whatever. My friend Rob's getting his penis pierced.

23:39🔗 He's getting a barbell put through it.

23:40🔗 Drew Good time.

23:41🔗 Caller Basically, what happened is he had one put through his tongue. He figures there's no side effects because the tongue one went fine. He kept the hygiene up and everything's grand. But personally, I don't know much about piercing.

23:53🔗 Adam He didn't use the S word there, like an idiot. So easy not to use the S word too in that particular situation. He's calling about his friend's penis. He's getting a barbell through it. Hey, let's get some hot chicks on this goddamn computer. Can we instead of a bunch of jack-offs to 19-year-old idiots? Let's go.

24:15🔗 You hear me?

24:17🔗 Adam Let's get some good-looking chicks with some boob-related questions.

24:21🔗 Drew Tara's talking to you.

24:22🔗 Adam 19-year-old idiot.

24:23🔗 Drew Screaming at you through the glass. Did you catch all that?

24:25🔗 Adam No. Okay, we're going to take ourselves a little break. We'll come back with Gavin, talk to him about his friend's penis, and then we'll be back.

24:39🔗 Caller Hey, hey, hey, hey.

24:41🔗 Adam Love Line. I'm Adam Corolla. It's Dr. Drew over there. Our last caller hung up, and I say good riddance to him. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. David Allen Grier is going to be in here on Tuesday. Bill Dwyer, he's the host of BattleBots on Comedy Central. He'll be in here tomorrow night. I really like him and I like the show. Harlan Williams, another real funny comedian, will be in here on Thursday. So lots of good funny guests coming on the show.

25:12🔗 Caller Twinkie Hall, baby, woo!

25:15🔗 Adam That's David Allen. Erin?

25:18🔗 Hi.

25:18🔗 Adam You're 15?

25:19🔗 Caller Yeah.

25:19🔗 Adam What's up?

25:21🔗 Caller Well, I have like this thing where like, sometimes when I'm alone, I like to draw like porn. And I don't know if that's like, is there something wrong with me or?

25:32🔗 Adam What kind of porn do you draw?

25:34🔗 Caller Well, it's like, I'm not a lesbian, but sometimes it's like girls and stuff. And then like, I was kind of dueling some while you put me on hold. And these guys right now, they're like, I don't know, it's just kind of, I don't know.

25:52🔗 Adam Okay.

25:53🔗 Drew Were you exposed to a lot of sexual material growing up?

25:56🔗 Caller No.

25:57🔗 Drew Were you sexually abused growing up?

25:58🔗 Caller No.

26:00🔗 Drew Were you physically abused?

26:02🔗 Caller No.

26:02🔗 Adam Did you have an etch a sketch?

26:06🔗 Caller Just like notepads and stuff.

26:08🔗 Drew Are you, anything else going on in your life? Are you functioning okay at school? You're feeling okay?

26:14🔗 Caller Yeah. I don't know. I feel like, like it's hard to, I don't know, like my parents are kind of strict and stuff. And it's kind of like a tension reliever.

26:25🔗 Drew But yeah, it sounds like like a way of releasing aggression, frankly. You think?

26:29🔗 Caller Maybe. I don't know.

26:31🔗 Adam Can you start drawing Jesus? I mean, in the porn? Now, just, don't you draw flowers or fruit or something? No?

26:40🔗 Caller Yeah, I can draw lots of stuff.

26:43🔗 Adam Yeah. Are you a good drawer?

26:45🔗 Caller Yeah. I took like an art class for the first time, like this last year.

26:50🔗 Adam Yeah.

26:51🔗 Caller No porn to turn in.

26:53🔗 Adam And, oh, they don't accept that?

26:54🔗 Drew No, it's 10th grade, no.

26:56🔗 Adam And after you draw the porn, what do you do with the pictures?

26:59🔗 Caller Um, I, it's kind of dangerous. I actually kind of save them, but they're like, I don't know, they're like in my room, hidden.

27:07🔗 Adam Yeah. Someone's going to find those and freak on you.

27:10🔗 Caller Yeah. I'm afraid of that. I should like get rid of them.

27:13🔗 Adam Yeah, you should. Listen, let me give a, and, all right, so don't worry about it.

27:19🔗 Drew Well, it's a concern, but it's nothing, nothing I can say that she has to do about it just now. If she's otherwise functioning okay, she feels okay, that's all right.

27:32🔗 Adam Let me give a quick heads up to everybody right now who's got some homemade sketched porn hidden in their room or videotape of them with some other chick or a phone number of some chick you met out on the road or something. Whatever it is, whatever you've got, whether it's a hash pipe that's under your car seat, whatever it is that you don't want someone to find out about, they will find out about it eventually. Eventually you'll get pulled over and a cop will put a flashlight down there and find that hash pipe. Eventually your folks are going to come in your room and find, here's what I'm saying, do it, just get rid of it now.

28:11🔗 Drew It's grandiose thinking, right, to think that things are never going to get caught, you know what I mean?

28:16🔗 Adam Well, but that's how you...

28:18🔗 Drew It's my thinking, it's the world according to me. No one ever shines a light down here.

28:21🔗 Adam I don't think it's grandiose, I mean, I think it's stupidity. So I don't think it's grandiosity. I mean, when I was 15, I would have left a dead hooker on my bed and ran out to the liquor store while my parents were home just thinking, look, they're not going to come in my room in the 15 minutes I'm out going to the liquor store. Do you know what I'm saying?

28:41🔗 Drew It's stupidity. I don't know what that is.

28:43🔗 Adam You don't have that?

28:43🔗 Drew No.

28:45🔗 Adam You never had that? I mean, you know what I mean? It's stupidity meets experience. As you get popped, as you get busted, the more times you get your car stolen, the more you tend to put the alarm on and put the club on it.

29:01🔗 Drew You know, I think some people are hypervigilant already. Because there are motors going at a high pace.

29:08🔗 Adam Yeah.

29:08🔗 Drew You ain't one of those guys.

29:09🔗 Adam No.

29:09🔗 Drew I am one of those guys.

29:11🔗 Adam Yes.

29:11🔗 Drew And so, my brain worked a little differently.

29:13🔗 Adam You're scared. You're running scared, running scared, sprinting scared.

29:19🔗 Drew Scampering.

29:20🔗 Adam Yes.

29:21🔗 Drew That's me.

29:22🔗 Adam You were shot out of a cannon scared. Right. I didn't get scared until I was older and had stuff. Well, also, here's the other thing too, and then we'll go to the next call. I never had anything to lose. You don't have stuff to lose. You're not really scared of anything. You don't have a nice car. You don't have anything that anyone wants. You're not... People gotta worry about you. You don't have to worry about them. You don't got anything. Right. So, what? You don't get those habits of, let's get insurance for this, let's protect that. Insurance for what? You're driving an old moped. What do you care? And if you get hurt or something, oh, who cares? It's just you. So, I think that's what that is. Dustin?

30:00🔗 Caller Yeah, what's up?

30:00🔗 Adam You're 20.

30:02🔗 Caller Yeah. I'm 20 years old, and last night I found out my girlfriend's only 16, and I thought she was 18.

30:10🔗 Drew Girlfriend of how long?

30:11🔗 How long?

30:12🔗 Caller We've been together for like nine months.

30:14🔗 Drew And how is it, no, it's Cincinnati, it's worse. How is it, nothing, how is it that you didn't know that she was 16?

30:22🔗 Caller She told me she was 18 when we met and everything, and I took her to a friend's house the other day, and her little, my friend's little brother told me she was only 16. He's in the same class, you know what I'm saying?

30:34🔗 Drew You guys aren't in the same school or anything?

30:36🔗 Caller No, I'm not, I'm graduated.

30:37🔗 Drew I see.

30:38🔗 Adam All right, so now, what, he's 20, she's 16?

30:41🔗 Caller Yeah.

30:42🔗 Adam How long, how long have they been together?

30:44🔗 Drew Nine months.

30:45🔗 Caller Nine months.

30:45🔗 Adam All right.

30:46🔗 Drew Well, kind of a mess. You've been sleeping with her?

30:49🔗 Caller Yeah.

30:50🔗 Adam How much do you like her?

30:52🔗 Caller Well, she's all right, you know what I'm saying? She's just like a booty call basically, but.

30:56🔗 Adam Oh, all right. Well, you're not interested.

30:59🔗 Caller I'm just wondering what I should do, you know, like, and it or whatever, you know what I mean?

31:03🔗 Adam Break up with her.

31:03🔗 Drew Yeah, if you don't care about her, by all means, give her that dignity.

31:08🔗 Adam Well, look, she's just a booty call and you could get arrested for the booty call. Then you just break up.

31:13🔗 Drew Yeah, I understand. But he's worried. Why is he worried about what he needs to do? Is he worried about hurting her feelings? This is a woman he doesn't care about at all. What's he worried about here?

31:21🔗 Adam I think he just wanted to say there's a lot of guys who'd like to say they were banging underage chicks, except for it's not a very popular thing to discuss. But if you were tricked into it, then it's kind of cool. See what I'm saying? Yeah.

31:37🔗 Drew Met Arlene, weren't they?

31:38🔗 Adam Joe? Yeah. Well, she was the one who was lying. Yeah. You're 17? Yeah. What's up?

31:44🔗 Caller I would just like to know, you know, is it good to have sex with football games and all the sports activities?

31:50🔗 Adam Yeah.

31:51🔗 Drew That's one of those hot chicks you were asking for, isn't it?

31:53🔗 Adam Yeah. Is this one of the big busted hot young chicks I've been pleading for in the last break? Hey Joe?

31:58🔗 Drew Yeah.

31:59🔗 Adam It's fine to do that. It's a wives' tale that you can't have sex before a sporting event.

32:04🔗 Caller Well, will you play better or is it better to do it? I'm just, you know what I'm saying? I'm just trying to get a better feel.

32:09🔗 Drew Turn your radio down first of all. The second thing I'm going to say is that if you're playing a game like football or boxing, aggression is something that you're utilize. Testosterone tends to fuel aggression, so you want to do things that optimize testosterone levels as one of the things you might want to do to adjust your physiology. Actually, if you have too little sex, your testosterone levels drop off.

32:31🔗 Adam Oh, yeah? Yeah. What about beating off?

32:33🔗 Drew Again, too much, Adam, not good. Too little, not good.

32:37🔗 Adam Is beating off any different than sex in terms of how your body reacts?

32:41🔗 Drew It is, but it's complex and I'm not sure fully understood.

32:45🔗 Adam But your body does know some subtle difference between the hand and the vagina.

32:51🔗 Drew Your central nervous system gets involved with it when it's not your hand.

32:54🔗 Adam What if you're really loaded like I am when I beat off? I mean, when I convince myself I'm actually with a woman.

33:01🔗 Drew I suppose you could, yes. Okay.

33:03🔗 Adam Especially, yeah, you have to say get good and loaded before you beat off?

33:06🔗 Drew Yeah, that's what I'm always saying. Isn't that my motto?

33:08🔗 Adam And so, so let me put it to you this way, Drew. Other than burning X amount of calories, however many calories you exert or you lose when you're having sex, is there any reason not to have sex an hour before a sporting event other than the calorie burning?

33:26🔗 Drew That's a good question. I don't know the answer to that.

33:29🔗 Adam Because maybe there's some sort of endorphin rise and then drop or something like that.

33:33🔗 Drew There certainly is a sort of a muscular relaxation associated with the serotonin surge and whatnot. Maybe that changes muscular performance.

33:40🔗 Adam So basically when you're done having, I mean think about, okay, let's put it this way, in the animal world, when you want a mate, you got to run down your partner and basically pounce on them in many animal kingdoms.

33:58🔗 Drew Humans are not that far off.

34:00🔗 Adam Well, I mean, instinctually, I would bet you there's a fair amount of that. We got to go in there and club them on the head and drag them to the cave kind of thing. So I would imagine before sex, you have a certain amount more energy at least. And then after it's time to take a nap. So I don't imagine you want to do it more in a few hours before.

34:21🔗 Drew I would think the day before would be fine.

34:23🔗 Adam All right. Let's talk to someone. I used to play football. Actually, I saw the mascot at half time. That's why I wasn't that wasn't good.

34:33🔗 Drew What was the mascot? It was a conquistador, wasn't it?

34:36🔗 Adam No, it was a husky. Oh, North Hollywood Huskies, a dog. But there's a guy in the outfit, ironically. But I always just closed my eyes. I pictured the dog. I picture I got his right. But a dog, Barbara.

34:47🔗 Caller Yeah.

34:47🔗 Adam You're 18.

34:48🔗 Caller Yeah.

34:49🔗 Adam What's up?

34:50🔗 Caller Okay. I've been going out with this guy for about four and a half months now. I mean, four and a half years, sorry. And about two months ago, he broke up with me for another guy.

35:00🔗 Drew Hmm. You were dating someone since you were...

35:01🔗 Caller I want to know if a result of that could be anything wrong with me.

35:05🔗 Drew You mean as though you made him gay?

35:07🔗 Caller Yeah.

35:08🔗 Drew No, you did not make him gay.

35:09🔗 Caller I can't.

35:10🔗 Drew No, you can't make him gay.

35:11🔗 Caller But there's nothing wrong with me.

35:12🔗 Drew Well, I wonder why...

35:14🔗 Adam If he'd been a little better, he probably would have just been bi.

35:16🔗 Drew I wonder why you would stay with someone for four years. And even if you hadn't told us that this guy was homosexual and just said, I've been with someone since I was 14, we'd start to question you a little bit.

35:30🔗 Adam Why?

35:31🔗 Drew 14 to 18? Yeah.

35:32🔗 Adam Well, that's a long run, but it happens. There was always that goofball couple you hated so much in high school.

35:39🔗 Drew Yeah, that seems like 16 to 18. This is 14 to 18.

35:43🔗 Caller Yeah, I met him in high school.

35:45🔗 Adam Well, listen, you didn't turn him gay.

35:47🔗 Caller I didn't, okay.

35:48🔗 Drew No way. But I wonder what the quality of that relationship was in all those years, why you guys were hiding out so much with each other. I mean, he was hiding up from his homosexual feelings. He, of course, didn't want to admit that to himself, was struggling with that, I'm sure. But what are you hiding out from?

36:02🔗 Caller I don't know. Nothing that I could think of.

36:05🔗 Drew Really?

36:05🔗 Caller Yeah.

36:06🔗 Adam All right.

36:07🔗 Drew You're able to date and everything's okay? You don't feel you're anxious about social situations?

36:11🔗 Adam No. Did you freak out when he told you he was gay?

36:16🔗 Caller Yeah.

36:16🔗 Adam Why did he tell you he was gay?

36:17🔗 Caller I've been going with him for four years and he just comes out and told me he's going out with this guy named... Oh.

36:25🔗 Adam Where'd you get the giga?

36:26🔗 Drew When did you collect that out?

36:27🔗 Adam You kind of get the whole name in there, huh, ritardo?

36:29🔗 Caller I'm sorry.

36:32🔗 Adam You know what's great about our callers and the stupidity of them?

36:37🔗 Drew Well, I think that was...

36:39🔗 Adam No, you think that was a slight? Barbara?

36:42🔗 Caller Yeah.

36:42🔗 Adam Were you trying to take a dig at that?

36:44🔗 Drew No, I think this may be bogus. Oh, really?

36:47🔗 Adam All right. Yeah, maybe it is. All right. So, Drew, you think this is bogus?

36:50🔗 Drew Because it's not fitting. It's not... She doesn't... Things are not fitting together.

36:55🔗 Adam All right, Barbara, we don't believe you now.

36:56🔗 Drew Liar!

36:57🔗 Adam Liar whore! Liar whore!

36:58🔗 Caller You know it!

37:00🔗 Adam Yeah.

37:01🔗 Drew See? There you go.

37:02🔗 Adam It's true. She got the whole name out.

37:04🔗 Drew Yeah, she would. He put the guy's full name out. She wasn't... Had no reason for being in this four-year relationship, and he comes out with it all of a sudden. It's just not reality. It's not how people work.

37:14🔗 Adam Let me explain. We've talked oftentimes about the bogus gene being something that's exclusive to men. The BS, the jack-off gene, the screw with gene. It's something that's only found in men. Once in a while, you'll find a woman who does it, usually...

37:28🔗 Drew Put up to.

37:29🔗 Adam Put up to by a man. But here's the problem. They can't cut it. You know what I mean? They don't have the tools. She was kind of with it, but as soon as you brought up bogus, she kind of fell off.

37:45🔗 Drew Jackout would stay with it.

37:46🔗 He'd heat it up.

37:47🔗 Adam That's right. That's right. The stakes have been raised. All right. What's going on? I want to watch your man shows. You're on in there with a commercial. No, no, it's over. But there's another one on after it. This whole big guy. Would you turn down your... Oh, no, that can't be done, right? You can't turn down that microphone, can you? You can't. Can you do that, Anderson? Can you turn down your mic? It can't be done. And this thing that adjusts the speakers in this room cannot be altered either.

38:14🔗 Drew Dude, I just work here, man. What do you want?

38:15🔗 Adam Okay.

38:15🔗 Drew But this is a great conversation to have on the air, isn't it?

38:17🔗 Adam Yeah.

38:18🔗 Drew Yeah.

38:19🔗 Adam Well, look, you want me to talk to Anderson during the commercial?

38:22🔗 Drew No, I know better.

38:22🔗 Adam That's my time.

38:23🔗 Drew That's your P time.

38:24🔗 Adam That's right. All right. Now, here's what I'm asking you. Is there a commercial on for that man show now? Yes? Yes? All right. Hey, shut up. Jesus Christ. What the hell goes on here?

38:37🔗 Drew We didn't hear it.

38:38🔗 Adam Oh, Anderson is throwing a bunch of toad. Okay.

38:42🔗 Drew Here we go.

38:44🔗 Loveline. 1-800-LOVE-191.

38:47🔗 Adam Hey, everybody. Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Good to see Dr. Drew back here. It's been too long, Drew.

38:59🔗 Drew Yeah, I'm a husband.

39:00🔗 Adam I missed you, buddy. Yeah, I was talking to my dad on the phone on the ride in and I said...

39:05🔗 Drew Does your dad know who I am? Have you mentioned my dad? What do you know he was talking about?

39:11🔗 Adam My dad is great. Let me tell you a few things about my dad. And I can speak freely because there's no way in a billion years he's listening to this radio show. A couple things about my dad. A, you know, as you know, anyone's been listening to the show for a while, he wanted to come on the show once, and he suggested Friday at 7 o'clock. That's all you need. You want to know about my dad, that's all you need to know. This show has been on, well, the show's been on the air in Los Angeles for 18 years. Has it ever been on on a Friday?

39:44🔗 No.

39:44🔗 Adam I've been hosting. Never. Has it ever been on at 7 o'clock?

39:48🔗 No.

39:48🔗 Adam No.

39:49🔗 Never.

39:50🔗 Adam I was hosting the show for a couple of years before my dad suggested coming on Friday around 7. That's the number one. Number two, let me tell you what he's capable of. My dad can climb into a brand new BMW M3, a new car I got, brand new, you know, smells like that new leather, dealer plates on it. You know, you know, you know, it's like when you climb into a car that's a week old, especially an expensive car, and not say a goddamn word, not one word. The old car was silver. The new car is black. Climb into it. Not say one word ever. He can do that. And number three, what the hell is that?

40:33🔗 Drew You were talking to him on the way over here.

40:34🔗 Adam Right. And you asked.

40:36🔗 Drew What do you know my name?

40:37🔗 Adam He, one time when I was saying my partner, Dr. Drew, and no, I said my partner, Drew, this was a couple of months ago. He thought I was talking about a Mason friend of my buddy, Ray's, whose name is also Drew, who I've met on two occasions.

40:56🔗 Drew And tonight you were talking.

40:58🔗 Adam But tonight I told him I missed Drew and he knew who I was talking about.

41:02🔗 Drew Oh, wow, moved.

41:03🔗 Adam Or they could have thought I missed a Mason.

41:05🔗 Drew Mason guy again.

41:06🔗 Adam Addie?

41:07🔗 Hello?

41:07🔗 Adam You're 19?

41:08🔗 Caller Yeah.

41:09🔗 Adam What's up?

41:10🔗 Caller Well, me and my boyfriend have been together for about a year now and he's been having this problem more and more. It's where he's all ready to go, ready to get intimate. But right when his clothes come off, he kind of goes away. I mean, he loses his erection.

41:25🔗 Drew What point in the action are the clothes coming off? In other words, are you guys...

41:29🔗 Caller It's like when he gets all the way undressed.

41:31🔗 Drew No, no, no. But I mean, are you guys in the back of a car or something? Are you guys ready to go to bed? What sort of circumstance?

41:35🔗 Caller No, just like in a bed. You know, like in a bed, just us two, no one else in the house, whatever.

41:39🔗 Adam You're rolling around, like making out before then?

41:43🔗 Caller Yeah.

41:44🔗 Adam And he has a good erection?

41:45🔗 Caller Mm-hmm. Good and hard and ready.

41:48🔗 Adam Pressing, yeah.

41:50🔗 Drew The whole term good erection, I find rather amusing.

41:53🔗 Adam You know what it is, though? I mean, I swear, I think this is some of it. And I've always discussed this with you, Drew. You get the erection going in your pants and it's really, it's like, it's like when you see a goat scratch itself against a tree, a tree, you know? They kind of, they're leaning on it, they're like pushing on it and they're getting some friction from it.

42:14🔗 Drew I think more of those cartoons of people are wrapped up on a railroad track and waiting to burst.

42:18🔗 Adam What are you talking about, wrapped up on a railroad track?

42:21🔗 Drew You know they wrap them up in rope.

42:23🔗 Adam Yeah, yeah, you're bound. The point is, is there's some pressure and then all of a sudden you're out in the wind and you're not pushing against anything anymore. I mean, this is a psychological thing, but there's...

42:35🔗 Drew There's some dynamic aspect to it.

42:37🔗 Adam Yeah, it's like if he could keep the pressure, the physical pressure on his penis and lose the emotional pressure of getting naked with his girlfriend, he'd be fine. How old is he?

42:46🔗 Caller He's 23. He just turned 23.

42:48🔗 Drew Does he have any medication?

42:51🔗 Caller Not that I know of, but he does have a few medical problems. Like, I guess he almost had a stroke when he was 18 and...

42:56🔗 Drew From what? Huh? From what?

42:57🔗 Caller Oh, stress.

42:59🔗 Adam No.

43:00🔗 Drew No.

43:02🔗 Adam How high is he and how high are you?

43:04🔗 Drew Yeah, there's no such thing as that.

43:05🔗 Adam The 18-year-old has a stroke.

43:06🔗 Caller Well, that's before I knew him. I've only known him for about a year now.

43:09🔗 Adam Well, either the guy was doing crank or he was just BSing about it.

43:12🔗 Drew He was doing stimulants or he had an aneurysmal blood for some reason or...

43:17🔗 Caller Another thing, he takes a lot of vitamins like Metrix and shakes and pills and stuff.

43:23🔗 Adam Is he a bodybuilder type?

43:25🔗 Caller Yeah.

43:25🔗 Adam Yeah, I love it when those guys can't get a boner.

43:27🔗 Drew Well, those guys...

43:28🔗 Adam So he's funny.

43:28🔗 Drew Yeah, he's probably taking some...

43:29🔗 Adam Isn't that funny?

43:30🔗 Caller Well, the first time me and him had sex, he told me like about a month later that he took some kind of stimulant like an hour before he came over.

43:39🔗 Drew Oh boy, he's doing drugs. So that's what you got going here and he may be doing...

43:45🔗 Adam Is that your mom?

43:46🔗 Caller That's my friend. I'm at my friend's house but I'm out on the porch.

43:48🔗 Drew He may be doing steroids, he may be doing stimulants. There's something here going on in the biologic, I suspect something pharmacologic going on that's really affecting his performance.

43:56🔗 Adam Yeah. Listen, she's got bigger fish to fry than his penis and it's not a cycle, it's not when he gets naked. This guy's doing stuff. He's on the juice, man. Ken?

44:07🔗 Hey, how's it going?

44:08🔗 Adam You're 20, what's going on?

44:10🔗 Caller Yeah, this is sort of the situation here. My girlfriend and I have been living together for about six months now. We're both 20 years old and we both come from a pretty dysfunctional background and I was just wondering, you know, are we just fooling ourselves? You know, I mean, is there any way to, you know, we've had a few problems.

44:32🔗 Adam Yeah.

44:33🔗 Drew Are you are you destined to dysfunctional relationships the rest of your life? Is that what you're asking?

44:37🔗 Caller Well, I mean, I just want to know if it's possible for it to work out between us without therapy or anything like that.

44:43🔗 Drew It's possible, but I'll tell you what, if there starts, if troubles arise, remember that treatment works and you should take advantage of that. If you're in fact, you're really committed to this relationship surviving.

44:56🔗 Caller Yeah. I mean, I'm very committed to that.

44:58🔗 Drew Well, just if things start going awry, just get yourselves to treatment. Okay.

45:04🔗 Adam What happened to her growing up?

45:06🔗 Caller Well, her father was verbally, emotionally and physically abusive.

45:11🔗 Adam Okay. Well, listen, you got your hands full with her more than she's got her hands full with you.

45:16🔗 Caller Well, I don't know about that.

45:18🔗 Drew What's your deal, Kim? What happened to you?

45:20🔗 Caller Well, my father is a bisexual methamphetamine addict.

45:25🔗 Adam Okay. Well, she has her hands full with you.

45:28🔗 Drew Well, what did he do to you?

45:29🔗 Caller Anything? There's no real way to tell. I don't specifically remember anything.

45:36🔗 Drew Are you bisexual?

45:37🔗 Caller No.

45:37🔗 Drew No.

45:38🔗 Adam All right. Well, look, here's the good news. You guys should both treat yourselves like you have, well, not quite cancer. Let's say diabetes. Here's what it is. It's like somebody called and said, look, I got diabetes. I met someone who has diabetes. We fell in love and we're living together. What's that? Well, look, you got to watch yourself.

45:59🔗 Drew Yeah, that's right.

45:59🔗 Adam That's all right. You don't have to ruin your life. You just got to do a little work.

46:02🔗 Drew Exactly.

46:03🔗 Adam A little extra work.

46:04🔗 Drew Agreed.

46:04🔗 Adam All right. Well, and the psychological stuff isn't that much different than something like that.

46:09🔗 Drew It's true.

46:10🔗 Adam Which is, God dealt you a crappy hand. You got a transvestite junkie for a dad. Now, once a week, you got to go see a guy and talk about your problems and maybe a little medication or read a book. You got to do a little extra work a week to take care of this, just like if you had any disease.

46:28🔗 Drew Just like if you had kidney disease or other disease, you got a brain disorder. That's right.

46:32🔗 Adam But you can have a good life. Probably not, but you could. Loveline, Fast-Growing Outlaw Radio, North America. Well, that's it for the night.

46:54🔗 Drew You're going to be glad to be back and good night.

46:57🔗 Adam I hope you all enjoyed that. Dr. Drew over there. I'm Adam Carolla, funner of 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. Bill Dwyer is going to be in here tomorrow night. He's the blond haired guy from Battle Bots on Comedy Central, a show I very much enjoy watching. Also, David Alan Greer.

47:17🔗 Caller Anything can cause addiction, Adam. Did you know that?

47:20🔗 Adam That's David Alan Greer as Dr. Drew. David is going to be in here on Tuesday night. We always have a good time with him because he's nuts, but he's really funny. So that'll be good. And Harlan Williams will be in here. He's a comedian you'll recognize too. Does a lot of movies and very funny. And I saw him in Montreal about a week ago. So we'll see him on Thursday. And Kristen.

47:47🔗 Hello.

47:47🔗 Adam Hey, you're 26.

47:48🔗 Caller Yes.

47:49🔗 Adam What's up?

47:50🔗 Caller I just wanted to know when it's Marley.

47:53🔗 Adam Morally.

47:54🔗 Caller For a guy to have sex in a relationship.

47:55🔗 Drew What do you mean morally?

47:58🔗 Caller Well, when does he not think that she's a slut? Obviously, I know not the first date. That's obvious. But I'm thinking like, if I like the guy and I'm dating him, I don't want to wait six months.

48:09🔗 Drew What do you want to do?

48:10🔗 Caller I like six or seven dates is okay with me, but I still want to be respected. And I wanted to know, I'm new to the dating scene and I want to be back in it again.

48:21🔗 Drew What have you been doing before?

48:22🔗 Caller Staying single. I'm going back to school and I spend so much time at school.

48:28🔗 Drew Why weren't you dating when you weren't at school?

48:31🔗 Caller Pardon?

48:31🔗 Drew Why weren't you dating when you were not at school?

48:33🔗 Caller I was.

48:35🔗 Adam All right. Listen, I stopped listening about three days ago on this show. It's always funny when people talk about they're new to the dating, they're re-entering the dating scene like the motocross circuit or something. Really, things haven't changed that much in a couple of thousand years. You go out, spruce yourself up, try not to wipe the vomit off your chin and see if you can meet a dude.

48:57🔗 Drew Well, things change a little bit. It was interesting, this thing I was presenting in Washington was a study on the college dating scene. Apparently, they have basically three options now. They hook up, which are these sexual encounters with nothing expected the next day.

49:09🔗 Adam Right.

49:10🔗 Drew They get joined at the hip like these very fast rapidly progressive relationship.

49:13🔗 Adam Right.

49:14🔗 Drew Or it's friends with benefits.

49:16🔗 Adam Yeah.

49:16🔗 Drew All unsatisfactory to women, ambivalent at best. The women are kind of unhappy and sure.

49:22🔗 Adam What do you mean? What's wrong with the initial whirlwind sort of love at first sight?

49:26🔗 Drew They're joined at the hip one?

49:27🔗 Adam Yeah.

49:27🔗 Drew Because they get sucked in these relationships, they're not sure they want to be in.

49:31🔗 Adam Well, what about the guys? They get sucked off too and I don't know. Look, what do you mean all? Look, whatever it is to the women, they're joined at the hip one, you could argue is worse for the guy than it is for the woman.

49:43🔗 Drew Well, but the guy that wants the joined at the hip relationships are seeking that kind of thing and sort of hiding out from the hooking up world.

49:48🔗 Adam You can argue that the women that seek that are getting that relationship as well.

49:53🔗 Drew But as you've said, listen, as you know, men don't have that many options. The guys that would go for the joined at the hip are not the guys that are hooking up.

50:01🔗 Adam Well, that's true.

50:01🔗 Drew While the women, if they're open to whatever, whatever will happen. You know what I'm saying?

50:07🔗 Adam Yeah, you make a very valid point that no one understands.

50:10🔗 Drew But you know what I'm saying.

50:11🔗 Adam Sort of. I just don't care. There's a difference. I know what you're saying. I don't care what you're saying. Okay. Kristin?

50:16🔗 Drew Yes.

50:17🔗 Adam What's your, all right, so guy, yeah, something with a date.

50:20🔗 Drew So how long before she used to sleep with a guy?

50:23🔗 Adam Well, there's a question. Can you get seven dates into a day?

50:27🔗 Drew No.

50:27🔗 Adam Because then it sounds right, right?

50:30🔗 Drew What if it's not the only guy you're dating? Or what if you're not the only girl he's dating?

50:35🔗 Caller Well, I mean, that's fine. I mean, that's when, you know, the conversation will probably begin. Because after, you know, I'm not going to, you know, sleep with someone I'm not interested in.

50:46🔗 Drew And interested in forming, like, a boyfriend relationship with?

50:48🔗 Caller Well, yeah.

50:49🔗 Adam All right.

50:49🔗 Caller Like, I'm ready to settle down and, you know.

50:52🔗 Adam You seem a little behind the times with the dating.

50:54🔗 Caller Yeah. I was engaged for four years.

50:56🔗 Adam Oh, you were?

50:57🔗 Caller Yeah.

50:57🔗 Adam Okay.

50:58🔗 Drew What happened with that?

51:00🔗 Caller I just wanted a different life, basically.

51:05🔗 Drew We obviously don't know what that means. What was wrong with that?

51:08🔗 Caller I wanted to start school and not have children, and he wanted children right away.

51:13🔗 Drew So he wouldn't allow you to go to school?

51:16🔗 Caller He wasn't too crazy about me having a career.

51:20🔗 Drew Why were you engaged for four years then?

51:22🔗 Caller I wasn't engaged for four years. We were dating for four years.

51:24🔗 Drew I see.

51:24🔗 Caller I was engaged the last year.

51:25🔗 Adam We were together. Okay.

51:27🔗 Caller We were living together, the whole thing.

51:28🔗 Adam Look, Chris, and you're an intelligent girl. Yeah.

51:31🔗 Caller Thank you.

51:32🔗 Adam You have sex when you feel the time is right. Don't put a number on it.

51:36🔗 Drew You know, start to figure out...

51:38🔗 Adam If it's three days, fine. If it's 23 days, fine.

51:40🔗 Drew Just do it when you want to. The one thing these guys don't have is the normal sort of milestones. They don't have a way to tell if they're progressing in a relationship.

51:45🔗 Caller Yeah. The guys in my age bracket from how, I mean, when I've gone out, they're all categorizing me in those three things. Like, if I fall into those three things, they'll talk to me.

51:55🔗 Adam Listen. Okay. Here's what you do. Here's what you do then. First date, first date, a little passionate kiss, a little tongue at the door. But not tongue in the basement of his mom's house, a place where sex could go on. Tongue in a place where you have to move on. You can get away. And you can't move on to sex. So a little tongue at the doorstep or possibly in the car out front of your house after your door already opens on the passenger side. Okay. Okay. A little tongue on the first date. Drew, you stop me if you disagree with anything.

52:29🔗 Drew I'm going to say one thing with the hooking up thing is alcohol is always involved. So easy on the alcohol.

52:33🔗 Adam Easy on the booze.

52:34🔗 Drew Oh yeah.

52:34🔗 Caller No. I know my limit.

52:35🔗 Adam Guys will want to go out. You know what's funny about guys too. I've seen guys getting a fist fight over like one beer. But when it comes to the first dates, oh, you want to pitch your margaritas at the 19 bucks a pitcher. Oh, you're sure, baby. Hey, I bought these little club cocktails. Oh, I always keep them in the car in a cooler. Isn't it funny? It's so ironic with guys. I mean, I've really gotten in fights with guys over just half a beer. And yet, they will buy a pony cake for a girl with no problem. And they realize, of course, you do the math. But so tongue action, first date, but in a place you can get away like the doorstep.

53:20🔗 Drew Maybe the first three dates.

53:22🔗 Adam Second date, more tongue action, but just in a, could be on the doorstep again, second or third date. Okay, on the doorstep again with the tongue action. Third date, tongue action and some groping and some making out in a slightly more intimate environment, not the bedroom, but like on the sofa in front of the TV kind of thing.

53:43🔗 Drew Date three already?

53:44🔗 Adam Date three? Tongue action on the sofa?

53:46🔗 Drew The groping profile? Well, guys are thinking that's next, that evening or next move.

53:52🔗 Adam That's outside of the sweater and hand on the thigh. That's not, that's not, you know.

53:58🔗 Drew I think the slow part is to go.

54:00🔗 Adam Finger full of margarine and going up the coos.

54:02🔗 Caller I would need to slow it down a little more because I'm the one that kind of gets carried away.

54:06🔗 Drew Oh, interesting.

54:08🔗 Adam Okay. Well, if you, if you're.

54:10🔗 Caller So that's, you know.

54:11🔗 Adam Okay. Well, just, just listen to me. Make out, make out doorstep, tongue action doorstep, first date, tongue action doorstep, second date, but just maybe a little more tongue action. Third date on to the sofa for some prolonged making out with some rubbing and hand exploring. Fourth date, you're getting into some. Well, here's a problem. As an adult, once you get naked, the game's on. Yeah, fourth date, go at it.

54:36🔗 Drew No, no, no. Listen. Remember that just because the guys want to have sex.

54:39🔗 Adam Well, I didn't what? Do it in the train station?

54:41🔗 Drew No, no. You have to keep in mind that just because he's going for it, doesn't mean he has designs for a relationship or has any.

54:48🔗 Caller A respect.

54:49🔗 Drew No, not respect. You seem to want some substantial connection, some substantial feelings, some potential relationship. And guys want sex if relationship comes, okay. So just remember that. Just realize that they're behaving in a way that is driven by their biology. And if you also feel that something else coming along with that, so be it. But give it a little time to develop.

55:09🔗 Adam Okay. So anyway, fourth date intercourse, fifth date cornhole, sixth date felch, seventh at the Dirty Sanchez. Right? Okay. So that covers the week.

55:25🔗 Drew If you go out every day in the week, you might be able to do it all in one day, too, at one point, right?

55:30🔗 Caller Oh, my God.

55:31🔗 Adam That'd be great. Oh, my God. I'd love to say that to a chick where she goes, I will not sleep with a guy before the 10th date. I'd love to go. That's all right. If we can get 10 dates in before, like, let's say, seven, eight o'clock, it'd be great. Maddie, you're 35.

55:49🔗 Caller OK.

55:51🔗 Adam OK. What's up there?

55:54🔗 Caller Oh, my ear?

55:54🔗 Adam That's right, Maddie.

55:56🔗 Caller Oh, hey. What's going on? I have a question for you guys.

55:58🔗 Adam OK.

55:59🔗 Caller Obviously.

56:00🔗 Adam All right.

56:00🔗 Caller OK.

56:01🔗 Drew You're fat.

56:01🔗 Adam Drew, please. Go ahead.

56:03🔗 Drew Yes.

56:03🔗 Caller I understand that all men, most men, fantasize about having three ways with their girlfriends. Can you argue with that, or is that true?

56:13🔗 Drew A certain age.

56:14🔗 Adam Certain age, yeah.

56:15🔗 Caller Up to a certain age, then you're over it?

56:17🔗 Drew After that, you're an asshole. Yeah, you're an a-hole after that.

56:21🔗 Caller Up to what age is it OK?

56:22🔗 Adam Thirty-four and a half. No, wait a minute. How old am I? I'm thirty-seven.

56:29🔗 Caller OK, here's the question.

56:29🔗 Adam No, it's not an age. It's where you're at, the relationship. Shut up. If you got a couple of kids and you're married to this woman, you really shouldn't be thinking about a threesome because that's going to screw things up.

56:42🔗 Caller Yeah.

56:42🔗 Caller Why does it have to? I mean, here's my deal. I could totally do without it, but I have done it with a boyfriend or two. Just, and I'm not just, I mean, mean this, just genuinely for them.

56:54🔗 Caller Yeah.

56:54🔗 Drew Well, regardless of why you do it, the relationships don't survive it.

56:57🔗 Caller Why? Why can't it?

57:00🔗 Drew Because that's the way humans are. I wish if they could survive it, it was good for you. I'd recommend it. In fact, I'd recommend five partners all at once.

57:07🔗 Caller I don't have to live it much.

57:08🔗 Drew The problem is it doesn't work. It never works. Those relationships are always destroyed.

57:13🔗 Caller So there's something dysfunctional about me by allowing it. I need to lay the law?

57:17🔗 Drew Or perhaps choosing these guys that may pursue it so aggressively.

57:22🔗 Caller What I say the law is this. You can't sleep with her. You can't have intercourse with her.

57:27🔗 Drew Maddie, forget it.

57:28🔗 Adam Oh, wait a minute. I want to hear the rest of Maddie's law.

57:31🔗 Caller Okay, my law is that I'm Queen B. I like the Queen.

57:35🔗 Caller Right.

57:36🔗 Adam I don't want to make funny, but I'd say you're Queen C.

57:39🔗 Caller Why?

57:40🔗 Adam Yeah, you don't sound like B.

57:41🔗 Caller Now you saw me.

57:43🔗 Adam Oh, really? Right. Are you high?

57:45🔗 People say...

57:46🔗 Adam Listen, just because you feather your hair.

57:49🔗 Caller I don't feather my hair. That is not my deal. Oh, because I'm from Portland, Oregon.

57:52🔗 Caller I don't think so.

57:54🔗 Adam Listen...

57:55🔗 Caller I lived in LA for seven years. I'm not talking about looks. I'm talking about internal stuff here.

58:00🔗 Right.

58:00🔗 Adam Kind of stuff guys are interested in, like large intestine.

58:03🔗 Right.

58:05🔗 Caller So, I guess I do it to please them. And the rule is they can't sleep with her. They can watch us. And I'm sort of the queen.

58:15🔗 Drew It's not going to work. You seem to have some real difficulty with intimacy. And you don't understand that intimacy is disrupted by these kinds of behaviors.

58:23🔗 Caller Interesting.

58:23🔗 Drew Hold on.

58:24🔗 Adam I dragged the mic extension out so I could stand out on a cliff in Monument Valley. Do you have any kids?

58:33🔗 Caller No.

58:34🔗 Adam Good. I stepped back away from the ledge and I'm now back in the Loveline studio.

58:39🔗 Caller Why did you have to step away?

58:40🔗 Adam I was going to kill myself if you had any kids. Why? What happened? Are you infertile?

58:46🔗 Caller No. I don't think I want to have children.

58:48🔗 Adam Ten miscarriages?

58:50🔗 Caller None.

58:50🔗 Adam What happened? No kids at 35, really?

58:53🔗 Caller You guys need to get with the times. This is like the century of the independent single woman.

58:59🔗 Adam Okay. All right. Well, look.

59:01🔗 Caller Can I ask you another question?

59:02🔗 Adam Yes.

59:03🔗 Caller Did you say Bill Dwyer was coming in?

59:05🔗 Adam Yeah. Tomorrow night.

59:06🔗 Caller Oh, my God. Can I talk to somebody off the air? I know Bill Dwyer.

59:10🔗 Adam Okay. What do you want to tell him off the air?

59:13🔗 Caller Well, no. I don't want to be on the air when I say it.

59:15🔗 Caller I used to work with him.

59:17🔗 Caller Who cares?

59:19🔗 Adam Did you have a threesome with him?

59:21🔗 Caller I knew you were going to ask that. Yeah, we worked at Club Menage-en-Touan, in the billiard. Now we work at the comedy club together.

59:26🔗 Adam All right. Were you a waitress or a comedian?

59:29🔗 I can't say.

59:31🔗 Adam You can't say?

59:32🔗 Drew Why can't you say?

59:32🔗 Adam You just said you worked at the club with him.

59:34🔗 Caller I know. I just can't. Not when I'm on the air.

59:36🔗 Drew Why?

59:37🔗 Adam All right. Well, she did something with Bill Dwyer.

59:39🔗 Caller No, no, no, no, no, no. We were always really good friends.

59:42🔗 Adam Okay. Well, then stop.

59:43🔗 Caller I told him where to stand in the club on the squares, at the club on the floor.

59:48🔗 Adam All right. Say hi to Bill Dwyer.

59:51🔗 Caller From Portland, Oregon.

59:52🔗 Adam Yeah. Say hi to him. We'll play it to him tomorrow.

59:55🔗 Drew Say hi to his Maddie.

59:56🔗 Caller Hi, Bill Dwyer. Maddie is like my nickname. I just saw you in LA about three months ago with Kristen. How are you doing?

1:00:06🔗 Adam That's enough. Look, she was a handful. Piece of work.

1:00:11🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:00:12🔗 Adam Okay, but no kids. God bless her for that. And she's to Queen. So the threesome chick that is brought into the bedroom only gets to watch her and her boyfriend have sex?

1:00:26🔗 Drew Queen G.

1:00:27🔗 Adam Queen G. Okay. Eric?

1:00:32🔗 Caller Yep.

1:00:32🔗 Adam You're 18?

1:00:33🔗 Caller Yes, sir.

1:00:34🔗 Adam What's up?

1:00:35🔗 Caller Well, it's like this.

1:00:37🔗 Caller I'm 18. And for the last two years, no girlfriend. I was talking to the guy on the phone that took my call.

1:00:46🔗 Caller He said he hasn't had a girlfriend either.

1:00:48🔗 Caller Right. Just trying to make it sound like normal.

1:00:51🔗 Adam Well, I don't know what percentage of 18-year-old guys have girlfriends, but I guess it's lower than 50 percent.

1:00:58🔗 Drew I would think.

1:00:59🔗 Caller But you know, you think, you know, I ride bicycles, you know, a little motocross, like dirt and grass. I do that. I race.

1:01:05🔗 Adam Yeah. Yeah.

1:01:07🔗 Caller Hit that. I'm a hick.

1:01:08🔗 Caller It's true.

1:01:09🔗 Caller I drive a green truck.

1:01:11🔗 Adam Right.

1:01:11🔗 Caller I think this is all helping, but you know.

1:01:13🔗 Adam Yeah. You ride bicycles and.

1:01:15🔗 Caller Bicycles.

1:01:16🔗 Caller It's bicycles.

1:01:18🔗 Adam Right. Yeah.

1:01:19🔗 Caller That's motocross, you know. Yeah.

1:01:22🔗 Adam Hold on. Hold on a second.

1:01:23🔗 Drew He's also working at the Thrifty right there.

1:01:25🔗 Adam Some guy buying a case of Slim Jims or something like that.

1:01:28🔗 Caller Well, no. I just bought a pack of Mickeys and hit up the power lines, you know.

1:01:33🔗 Adam Okay.

1:01:33🔗 Caller That makes girls like me for some reason.

1:01:35🔗 Drew Oh yeah. Oh yeah.

1:01:37🔗 Adam I don't know. Listen, here's what I want guys to do. All guys, please listen to me and do this little experiment. I really think it's going to make a big impact in your life. And I know it sounds like I'm making fun of you, but I'm really not. This is going to be a huge help. All males between the age of 16 and 30, I'd like you to do this. Don't look in the mirror, stop looking in the mirror. Stop worrying about what you look like in the mirror. Start recording yourself and then listening to your conversations. That's what I'd like you to do, because there's where the gain could be made. You see, guys are interested in what a woman looks like. So guys think women are interested in that and a man, and they are to some degree, but they spend too much time in the gym and too much time at the beach and too much time getting their hair done and doing all this nonsense when they really should just be recording themselves and listening, because that would give them the edge. You have no idea that the overwhelming majority of you are dicks, and that you sound horrible, and that women hate you because of your personality.

1:02:45🔗 Caller Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

1:02:46🔗 Adam Thank you. More your attitude than your personality, but personality and attitude. You can look good. The guys do the same thing, right? I'm told I'm good looking. I'm into this. I'm into that. Meanwhile, all we can hear is world class dick. Right?

1:03:01🔗 Drew Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

1:03:03🔗 Adam That's right. Everyone record yourself, and then play it back. That's where the work needs to be done. Except for me, of course. Virginia, blah, blah, blah. You're 19.

1:03:15🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:03:16🔗 Adam What's up? Turn your radio down, please.

1:03:18🔗 Caller Okay. I have a friend. She's like my best friend, and she, like whenever we go out, she, you know, she's always like touching my shoulder and my arms, you know, like playing with my hair, like whenever we're, you know, talking or whatever, you know, and I mean, it just makes me feel really uncomfortable.

1:03:39🔗 Drew You tell her that?

1:03:41🔗 Caller No, I mean, because I don't want to hurt her feelings.

1:03:44🔗 Drew Is it uncomfortable because you're just not a touchy person?

1:03:48🔗 Caller Well, yeah, I mean, and then I mean, like she messes around with me too, like, oh my God, you know, like with my, when my boyfriend's around, she'll be like, oh, well, you know, she's mine. And, you know, just things like that. Well, I mean, I just don't know how to, you know, tell her, you know, like to calm down because it makes me feel uncomfortable or something, you know.

1:04:07🔗 Adam You know, that's why I always keep a golf ball in my pocket in case I'm accosted by a lesbian, I can throw it.

1:04:14🔗 Drew To run after it?

1:04:15🔗 Adam Yeah, it's like when you break into a big estate, you keep a pork chop in your pocket. And if the guard dog comes after you, just toss it in the bushes, the dog will go after it. You do that with the golf ball.

1:04:26🔗 Drew I don't know that your friend's a lesbian, Virginia. Do you know that?

1:04:29🔗 Caller No, I mean, I don't think she's a lesbian.

1:04:31🔗 Drew Okay, well, this is just, maybe you ought to just put it in some-

1:04:34🔗 Adam Well, you treat it, you do like what guys do. If one guy starts grabbing another guy or whatever, it's, hey, faggot, what's going on here?

1:04:42🔗 Drew How about just say, hey, you're smothering me. So you use terminology that's a little more vague.

1:04:46🔗 Adam What's she doing in a kidding way? I mean, she grabs you, you go, hey, Lesi, what's happening?

1:04:51🔗 Caller Yeah, but I mean, she gets like really hurt. Like a couple of days back, we were kicking back. I was sitting next to my boyfriend, she was sitting next to me and my boyfriend was hugging me. She had her head on my shoulder.

1:05:07🔗 Adam Well, hold on. What's all the hanging out with your boyfriend and her? Where's her boyfriend?

1:05:14🔗 Caller She left him.

1:05:15🔗 Why?

1:05:16🔗 Caller Because he was really, you know, always cheating on her. Okay. You know, drama.

1:05:24🔗 Adam Yeah. Well, she may have a little drama in her.

1:05:27🔗 Caller Oh boy. Oh, yeah.

1:05:29🔗 Adam You know what I'm saying?

1:05:30🔗 Caller Yeah, I know that.

1:05:31🔗 Adam And you may not want to, you may want to start weaving your way out of this relationship and cutting it back a little bit.

1:05:40🔗 Caller I mean, she's a really good friend. I know she always depends on me to be there for her.

1:05:46🔗 Adam Well, I know, but that's not a really good friend. That's someone who depends on you to help them.

1:05:50🔗 Drew Yeah, who's leaning on you, who's taking advantage of you and is not being respectful of boundaries. And you have to just push her back a little bit. And if it hurts her feelings, that's her problem. You're not doing anything wrong. You're not asking for anything unusual. You're not trying to hurt her. You're not even telling her things that should be hurtful. You're just telling her to maintain appropriate boundaries. That's all, to be respectful of you.

1:06:12🔗 Adam Get your boyfriend to slide in there and step up and say something too, perhaps.

1:06:16🔗 Drew You can figure out creative ways to do it in ways that are not hurtful. Use humor. Be gentle, but do it.

1:06:26🔗 Adam Listen, everybody, if there's somebody who's crossing the line with you, the excuse we hear all night is, but they're such good friends. But if they were such great friends, they wouldn't be screwing you.

1:06:37🔗 Drew They'd be more respectful.

1:06:39🔗 Adam Right. It wouldn't be... Now, this is not egregious, but we hear it all the time when the person tried to kill the other person and they can't back away from them because they're such great friends. But great friends don't do things. Great friends act like great friends, in other words.

1:06:52🔗 Drew That's right.

1:06:52🔗 Adam So don't be scared to discipline them a little if they're not acting that way. All right. Stripper girlfriend. Oh, it's a guy. Let me see.

1:07:02🔗 Drew Tall guy.

1:07:02🔗 Adam Five genital piercings with Josh. Slept with a guy, the lump.

1:07:08🔗 Drew He went limp.

1:07:09🔗 Adam Oh, he went limp. Oh, that's the word limp. Yeah. Well, it's almost like the word lump.

1:07:14🔗 Drew Yeah, I understand that.

1:07:16🔗 Adam You know, it's not, you know, they say it's a letter away. You know what I mean?

1:07:20🔗 Drew It's a line away.

1:07:20🔗 Adam Limp and lump, but it's really just an L.

1:07:22🔗 Drew Yeah, an L away.

1:07:26🔗 Adam I mean, it's just a line with a little bottom on it away. That's what I look at. That's how I look at it. All right. When we come back, we'll speak to Alicia, who is 15, and she slept with a guy who went limp. And now he blamed her? Oh, this is going to be good after this. Hey, everybody. Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. It's Dr. Drew over there. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. When we left off, we're going to speak to Alicia, who's 15, who slept with a guy who went limp, and he blamed her. Alicia?

1:08:08🔗 Hello?

1:08:09🔗 Adam What's up?

1:08:11🔗 One day I just said, okay, to this guy, okay, let's have sex, right? He's 16.

1:08:16🔗 Drew Sure.

1:08:16🔗 And we did it and everything, but during, it just like went soft. And then he told one of my other friends that it was my fault, really, that it happened.

1:08:29🔗 Drew Well, yeah.

1:08:31🔗 Adam Well, how did you, I mean, who is this guy? Friend of yours?

1:08:36🔗 Huh?

1:08:37🔗 Adam Friend of yours?

1:08:38🔗 Yeah.

1:08:39🔗 Drew Just a friend?

1:08:40🔗 Yeah.

1:08:40🔗 Drew Why did you have sex with him?

1:08:42🔗 No, he's not my friend. He told my friend.

1:08:44🔗 Drew Why did you have sex with this guy?

1:08:45🔗 I don't know. I just thought he was cute. And I just wanted to see. Everybody said it was small, but I just wanted to see for myself.

1:08:52🔗 Adam This is a bogus call too, isn't it?

1:08:55🔗 Drew Either that or just really a mess.

1:08:57🔗 Adam Are you sort of disjointed in your thinking, Alicia?

1:09:00🔗 I don't know. I just, no, it really was. I really liked him. And I don't know what I was thinking.

1:09:08🔗 Adam You liked the guy?

1:09:09🔗 Yeah.

1:09:11🔗 Caller Mm-hmm.

1:09:12🔗 No, I drink alcohol.

1:09:13🔗 Adam And, uh, you like... Alicia. Huh? I like you. I'd like you to go to... when do you go back to school? Are you in school now?

1:09:24🔗 Yes. No, not yet. I start, um, on the 28th.

1:09:28🔗 Drew Of August.

1:09:29🔗 Adam You go back... You go into the 10th grade?

1:09:31🔗 Yes.

1:09:32🔗 Adam Okay. You, uh, study hard, all right?

1:09:35🔗 Oh, I am. That's all I'm gonna concentrate on.

1:09:38🔗 Adam Where are you gonna go? You gonna go to college?

1:09:40🔗 Yeah. I don't... I'm not sure after high school, right after high school, but I'm going.

1:09:45🔗 Adam Not sure if you're gonna go to, uh, beauty school or bartending school? All right. So, okay, so you slept with this guy. He lost his erection. Now he's blaming you. And what do you care? Is he telling... How many people is he telling?

1:10:02🔗 How many people is he telling?

1:10:04🔗 Adam Yeah. Is he telling a lot of people?

1:10:05🔗 He told this one guy, and it got back to my boyfriend, or my ex-boyfriend. And now my ex-boyfriend don't want to be with me no more.

1:10:14🔗 Adam Well, but that's why he's your ex-boyfriend, right?

1:10:17🔗 Yeah, but I want to get back with him.

1:10:21🔗 Adam Well, you guys broke up. Okay.

1:10:23🔗 We broke up because we were having problems in our relationship. That was, our relationship was getting too, like, serious, and I didn't want that.

1:10:30🔗 Adam Okay, so you broke up with him. Now you want to get back together with him. Alicia, here's what I want to say to you. You got way too much energy for the guys. You're sleeping with some guy who you don't really know, you don't really like. You got to slow down a little with this. There's going to be trouble.

1:10:46🔗 Drew You're 15.

1:10:47🔗 Adam You're 15.

1:10:48🔗 I know.

1:10:50🔗 Drew There already is trouble.

1:10:53🔗 Adam What's up? Are you pregnant?

1:10:56🔗 Oh, no.

1:10:57🔗 Adam No. Are you using any protection?

1:10:59🔗 Yes.

1:10:59🔗 Drew What are you using?

1:11:00🔗 Condom.

1:11:01🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:11:01🔗 Drew Do you have any kind of backup in case the condom breaks?

1:11:04🔗 No.

1:11:04🔗 Drew Do you know about emergency contraception?

1:11:06🔗 No. Okay.

1:11:08🔗 Drew All right. Condoms break or they fall off, all kinds of things happen. And there's a way you can get something called emergency contraception from your doctor that you can take after that if a condom breaks, okay? Just get your hands on that. It's called Prevent or Plan B.

1:11:22🔗 Adam I can see her pregnant in another...

1:11:24🔗 Drew Three weeks.

1:11:25🔗 Adam Six to eight hours.

1:11:26🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:11:27🔗 Adam Regardless of whether she has intercourse or not. Wow. I don't even know how to answer a question. Just stop thinking about guys so much and start focusing on grammar. Alan?

1:11:37🔗 Yes.

1:11:37🔗 Adam You're 23. What's up?

1:11:39🔗 Caller Yes. How you guys doing tonight? Welcome back, Adam.

1:11:41🔗 Adam Thank you.

1:11:42🔗 Caller Quick question for you guys. I hope you can maybe help me out. Like I said, I'm 23. I'm dating a stripper right now. She's the same age. We've been together for about 7 or 8 months. I'm pretty open-minded sexually. The problem that I've run into is…

1:11:58🔗 Adam Unlike most 23-year-old guys who date strippers, this guy's not closed off.

1:12:02🔗 Drew I'm just thinking he's dating a stripper. In order to date the stripper, he's become open-minded.

1:12:08🔗 Adam Right.

1:12:10🔗 Caller Anyways, guys, the problem is she's really into anal sex. There's nothing wrong with that. I have no problem with doing that. My problem is, about 2 weeks ago, we were doing it, and she started telling me to DP her. I had absolutely no idea what that was.

1:12:27🔗 Drew Well, neither did we.

1:12:28🔗 Caller Okay. Well, it turns out it's called a donkey punch. I have no idea what it was until the other day I talked to my friend, and he explained to me, basically she wants you to hit her while you're having anal sex with her. We're not really into any type of physical violence or anything of such.

1:12:48🔗 Drew Where does she want you to hit her?

1:12:50🔗 Caller In the back of the head. I've kind of talked to her about it and explained to her I'm not really into punching anyone or anything like that. She's like, I'll have a hard time enjoying it without it. Everyone else, every other guy I've ever been with has never had a problem doing with it. She's not the only girl I slept with. I'm pretty experienced. I've worked in the industry, so I've been around a little bit. I've never ran into that. I mean, if you guys-

1:13:15🔗 Drew What industry?

1:13:17🔗 Caller Stripping the bar industry.

1:13:20🔗 Adam You're not a DJ, are you?

1:13:21🔗 Caller No, I'm a doorman.

1:13:22🔗 Adam Okay.

1:13:23🔗 Caller Yeah. I don't know if this is just me, it's unusual or she's got issues.

1:13:30🔗 Drew She got issues.

1:13:31🔗 Adam She got some issues there, Alan.

1:13:33🔗 Caller Really?

1:13:33🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:13:34🔗 Caller Okay.

1:13:35🔗 Well, that's good. Yeah.

1:13:36🔗 Caller That's basically the only question I had for you guys.

1:13:38🔗 Adam Well, here's what I do to the ladies. I give them the anal sex and then I punch them later when they're not expecting it. I wait till they fall asleep and then it's- Usually, my move is a good left upper cut, which pops the head up over the pillow and then a right hook. It's just I clean them off with the right hook. See, and then I tell them, I'm hardcore, baby.

1:14:04🔗 Drew DP this.

1:14:05🔗 Adam DP this. Ain't your goddamn poodle here. I do my own DPing. Yeah, this girl's a handful.

1:14:15🔗 Drew Boy. Don't you feel sad for her? I mean.

1:14:19🔗 Adam Yes. I'm a stripper. I like to get punched in the back of the head while I'm-

1:14:22🔗 Drew I think, when I think of people like that, I think that in order for them to experience what normal people, normal kinds of arousal that people experience, they're so burned out and having been abused or whatever that they have to have that in order to experience arousal.

1:14:37🔗 Adam Right.

1:14:38🔗 Drew It doesn't register otherwise. The brain is too shut off to all that.

1:14:42🔗 Adam Right. You having inter- straight intercourse, missionary style, for someone who's screwed up like this-

1:14:50🔗 Drew Doesn't register.

1:14:51🔗 Adam It would probably be the equivalent to us getting maybe a little tongue action from the girlfriend or something. Right? Yeah. They need to be sodomized and then smacked in the back of the head. But isn't it in a way like somebody who's an alcoholic has to- I mean, when you get going with let's say an addiction, you're going to have to have yourself a few hard balls and a couple of pills to really get your jack on.

1:15:19🔗 Drew Because your brain has been so conditioned.

1:15:21🔗 Adam Right, right, right. As opposed to my mom who has a half a glass of champagne and starts giggling like a mad woman telling everyone at the table she's drunk.

1:15:30🔗 Drew That's right.

1:15:30🔗 Adam You know what I mean? Half a glass of champagne. My mom is three sheets to the wind. And if you're screwed up, you got to drink five bottles. And that's basically what this is, right?

1:15:45🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:15:46🔗 Adam All right. All right. Listen, don't marry this girl. Don't get her pregnant.

1:15:49🔗 Drew There you go.

1:15:49🔗 Adam And you're not going to cure her. Don't cure her.

1:15:53🔗 Drew And don't be surprised by these things she's asking for.

1:15:56🔗 Adam Will?

1:15:56🔗 Yeah. What's going on, guys?

1:15:58🔗 Adam What's up?

1:16:00🔗 Yeah. I got a couple of weeks ago. I my upper lip kind of swelled on the inside on one side. Went to my doctor. Turns out I had an infection because of a nerve that had died a few months back that I didn't get treated. And upon further inspection, he noted that some of my other teeth were pretty bad off. I mean, not not the most desirable set of, you know, ivory. So I got, you know, I'm fixing that. I'm going to get some dental work done and all that. But my question is this. He thought that it came from drug use. He said basically anything like that he'd ever seen before came from extensive drug use.

1:16:37🔗 Drew Stimulants, yeah, stimulants, right?

1:16:39🔗 I've maybe done cocaine three times in my life. I've smoked a lot of marijuana, but never done anything real hardcore like that. So I know it's not drug use.

1:16:49🔗 Drew Was he saying that you ground down your teeth, something like that?

1:16:52🔗 No, no, it's more like at the top where the tooth meets the gum, where it's kind of just decayed quite a bit actually. And then a number of my teeth, and I brush my teeth regularly, always have. So I can't figure out what it is. So I was having sex the other day with my girlfriend, and I'm pretty big on performing oral sex. I love it almost as much as sex itself. And I'm thinking maybe Dr. Drew, the fluids that come from inside a woman, nothing like that.

1:17:22🔗 Drew When was the last time you saw a dentist, Will?

1:17:25🔗 Probably about a year and a half ago.

1:17:26🔗 Drew Every year and a half you're seeing a dentist?

1:17:29🔗 No, that's not been the regular case.

1:17:31🔗 Drew You just don't get proper dental care.

1:17:33🔗 I just moved to a new area about a year and a half ago.

1:17:36🔗 Drew You don't get dental care properly? Teeth rot.

1:17:38🔗 Adam Find a dentist.

1:17:39🔗 Drew Yeah, get a dentist. You didn't see a dentist for many years. You almost lost all your teeth.

1:17:42🔗 Adam I didn't see a dentist for six, seven years.

1:17:45🔗 Drew And when they got their hands on you, they needed a jackhammer to fix everything.

1:17:49🔗 Adam How dare you? Yeah, I had to have some root canal. And then I had to have the root canal redone because they screwed it up. And now it's actually flaring up again. There's just some infection.

1:18:02🔗 Drew The point is that you don't have proper dental care. You should be...

1:18:07🔗 Adam Okay, let me...

1:18:08🔗 Drew People have gum disease. All kinds of reasons people get problems with their teeth that are not... Right.

1:18:14🔗 Adam From going down. Nice spin, though.

1:18:18🔗 Drew Oh, my God.

1:18:19🔗 Adam Well, look, what would you rather have on your resume as to why you got some gum disease?

1:18:24🔗 Drew As a crack or...

1:18:25🔗 Adam As you... doing blow and not flossing? Or pleasuring women too much? Do you know what I'm saying?

1:18:33🔗 Drew Yeah, I understand.

1:18:34🔗 Adam What a retard. Okay, but let me say this about teeth. Let me say this about everything in life. Okay? And everyone understands this. It's going to take the pressure off all of you in life. The world is your oyster. I mean, because that's all the world is. That's all I have to say about that. No, let me tell you. I just got back from Vegas, okay? I was just traveling with the Juggies from the Man Show for the last like four or five days, okay? They were on the trampoline. I was helping them out with the trampoline. We had them all on the trampoline. Tough work. Bonesy bonesy. Tough work. I've just spent the last four or five days with these women. They eat buckets of candy. They candy like kids. And none of them work out. You know what I'm saying? They all look spectacular in a bikini. I mean, they're on a, they got a light on them. They're on a trampoline. And you can't, they're spinning doing 360s in the air. You can't find a flaw on them, okay? And I really mean that the whole trip, I was with them for almost a week. No working out, no jogging. And they literally buy sacks of candy. They love candy. Like some kind of strange pet. They just, they buy sacks of candy, eat candy. They do nothing. They eat like pigs, they eat a bunch of candy, they don't work out. Now they all look spectacular. Why? Because that's the hand that they were dealt. Okay. Why do some people, you ever meet these people that they've never had a filling and they're 45 years old?

1:20:11🔗 Drew That's right.

1:20:11🔗 Adam Yeah. You want to know why? That's the hand they were dealt.

1:20:14🔗 Drew This guy is beautiful.

1:20:15🔗 Adam Now, flossing would help and brushing would help. But if you got a bad hand from a dental standpoint, you're screwed. You're going to be working full-time just to keep the teeth you got before 50. If you got great teeth, everyone you know who's 30 and doesn't have a, who's 20 and doesn't have a cavity, doesn't have a filling, that is a hand that was dealt to them. That's a genetic thing. It's just like your eyes. What? You wear glasses.

1:20:43🔗 Drew Why?

1:20:43🔗 Adam Because you stared at the sun or every time you drove, you stuck your head out the window. No, that's just your eyes are bad. That's the way it is. That's the way it is with everything, everybody. You can diet and not balloon up. You can floss, maybe keep some of your teeth, but that don't make as big a dent as the hand that is dealt to you by nature. So do your flossing, do your dieting, but don't expect to change anything too much. Thank you.

1:21:13🔗 Drew And good night.

1:21:13🔗 Adam We'll be back. Hey, everybody. It's Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That's Dr. Drew over there. Bill Dwyer is going to be in here tomorrow night from Battle Bots and then David Allen Grier. And Harlan Williams is going to be in here, too, as a funny comedian who you've seen on quite a few movies. All right. And on this show. Yes. All right. Josh.

1:21:49🔗 Caller Yeah. Yeah, that's me.

1:21:51🔗 Adam What's up? Five genital piercings.

1:21:54🔗 Caller Yeah, Adam, you might want to cross your legs for this one. I just want to know what's going on with me. I really enjoy getting my genitals pierced. I don't know why. Nobody in my family is like that. I'm usually just an average guy. It's just I enjoy this and I don't know what that really says about me.

1:22:13🔗 Drew I think it's a sort of an aggressive thing, an aggression. The patients that I ask why they do this, they will say things on the order of I want to do this to myself before anyone screws with me. I cut my hair real short a couple of months ago and I had an awareness that it was an aggressive thing, that it felt like an aggressive release to do it and you know what, it felt good. So what? You know what I mean?

1:22:40🔗 Adam Yeah, it feels nice to go screw you, society. I mean, if somebody says...

1:22:45🔗 Drew It's a little different than that though. It's more like it's an aggressive mastery feeling of some sort. And thank God, when you cut your hair short, it doesn't say screw your society. It's just you just mess with your own self. But I don't know, does that sound right at all, Josh?

1:23:01🔗 Caller I don't know. I mean, I'm definitely doing it for myself because I'm not showing it off. I'm not sexually active. I haven't had sex in almost a few years.

1:23:07🔗 Drew You don't get a sense of a sort of a release of aggression when you do it.

1:23:10🔗 Caller Well, yes, I don't know.

1:23:12🔗 Adam It's something that I haven't had sex in. How long?

1:23:14🔗 Caller Almost three years.

1:23:15🔗 Adam Oh, wow.

1:23:17🔗 Drew He's mad at his penis.

1:23:18🔗 Adam Barbells aren't the only thing rusting down there. I'll tell you that. Balls have rusted.

1:23:23🔗 Caller The other thing that I've been looking into is actually implants. Like little beads. Yeah, beads underneath the skin.

1:23:29🔗 Adam Let me float this theory and to Josh and Drew. What if something like this happens? I mean, I don't want to go into the weirdest case scenario like with everything. But with Josh has already got five genital piercings and he's looking to stuff some beads under his skin. He's heading towards filial penis. Something going on with Josh and he's not aware of it and seems normal by other accounts. Is it possible that this guy, somebody put their hand on his junk while he was in his crib for a year, wired something into his psyche and then stopped, he never knew about it, went on with life and now has this overwhelming desire to take control of his own genitalia?

1:24:13🔗 Drew I firmly believe that there's that kind of wiring phenomenon that goes on.

1:24:17🔗 Adam Josh, do you think that's possible?

1:24:19🔗 Caller No, I mean, I have a really loving family that's really caring. There's no-

1:24:22🔗 Adam Well, I mean, neighbor, babysitter. Do you know what I mean? I don't know.

1:24:29🔗 Caller I think that's-

1:24:29🔗 Drew Let me ask another, let me ask this, this is going to sound bizarre, but do you ever have any recurring dreams?

1:24:34🔗 Caller No, not really. I mean, any accounts, there's nothing wrong with me.

1:24:39🔗 Drew Wait, wait. What do you mean, not really you don't have a recurring dream?

1:24:42🔗 Caller Well, I mean, dreams, I mean, we all have dreams and-

1:24:45🔗 Drew But no recurring themes?

1:24:46🔗 Caller No, nothing that just keeps coming back over and over again.

1:24:49🔗 Adam All right. What's your hair like? You got a bunch of tats?

1:24:53🔗 Caller No, I have no tattoos or anything. My ears are pierced, that's about it, that you can see physically outwards. My ears are short and I keep it clean.

1:25:01🔗 Adam I'm a computer programmer.

1:25:02🔗 Drew You're different than anybody we've talked to that does a lot of genital piercing. You aware of that?

1:25:06🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:25:06🔗 Caller That's what I mean. It's anybody that I've dealt with that actually has similar things. They're covered in tattoos. Right, right.

1:25:13🔗 Adam Okay.

1:25:14🔗 Caller They're drinking-

1:25:14🔗 Adam So, never molested, never beaten or anything like that?

1:25:18🔗 Caller No. I mean, I have-

1:25:19🔗 Adam Nobody's-

1:25:20🔗 Caller Life and I just really enjoy getting this done.

1:25:23🔗 Adam Okay.

1:25:23🔗 Caller And I see other people that have this and they're really screwed up and I want to know if I'm headed that way.

1:25:27🔗 Adam Yeah, you are. But, you know, but you got to replace the word enjoy with the word need.

1:25:33🔗 Drew Compulsed. Yeah, I'm compulsive to do it.

1:25:35🔗 Adam You understand? Because when you say enjoy, it gives it a healthy spin. Like, look, I really- I just enjoy heroin or I just enjoy coke. I just enjoy- This is more than enjoy. This is a need, a compulsion. And, you know, Josh, you're a smart guy and you have- you're working and everything. This is the kind of thing you can do a little work on.

1:25:57🔗 Drew Keep your eyes open.

1:25:58🔗 Adam Right. I mean, talk to a therapist and figure some stuff out. I don't know what the answer is, but I would talk to somebody before my dick looked like a sack full of doorknobs.

1:26:10🔗 Drew Oh, by the way. Yeah.

1:26:12🔗 Adam By the way.

1:26:13🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:26:13🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:26:13🔗 Drew Yeah. I'd look into it.

1:26:15🔗 Adam Sure. Well, here's the thing. This guy could get some therapy at age 35 and by then, you know, his unit's a mess. Okay. Line 2, you want to talk to? Who?

1:26:28🔗 Drew Three.

1:26:28🔗 Adam You want to talk to three?

1:26:29🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:26:30🔗 Adam Why was Tara holding up the-

1:26:34🔗 Drew Take line three.

1:26:34🔗 Adam Okay. She's just nothing. All right. Kerry?

1:26:39🔗 Yes.

1:26:40🔗 Adam Yeah. You're 34. What's up?

1:26:42🔗 Caller Hey. Well, Adam, you were talking about people being amputees. I lost my arm when I was 10 years old. And just some people talking about phantom pains can cause you to have phantom pains. When you were talking about that, then I got some. And what I've found over the years is if I pretend to scratch my elbow, if my elbow hurts or it itches, it'll go away.

1:27:03🔗 Drew Oh, that's interesting.

1:27:04🔗 Adam He'd like reaches the scratch in the air. Yeah. Marcel Marceau without an arm. And how did you lose your arm?

1:27:12🔗 Caller That brings me into my question. I had bone cancer, osteogenic sarcoma, and Dr. Drew, last year, they decided they gave me too much chemotherapy and I was suffering from cardiac myopathy.

1:27:24🔗 Drew They didn't give you too much chemotherapy? That's a usual, it's a common side effect of chemotherapy.

1:27:28🔗 Caller Right. Well, I guess more than they would give now is what they're saying because this was back in the 70s. I also had four thoracotomies and I'm a diabetic, but I'm alive. I work. I think I've done pretty well. But I am taking digoxin and beta blockers. I wondered if there was something I needed to worry about the long-term side effects because these are certainly some of the things that the cancer doctors didn't really give us a big heads up for that we really almost expired.

1:27:57🔗 Drew No, linoxin and beta blockers are as old as time and they have no long-term side effects. However, the beta blockers will affect your sexual functioning and sometimes your mood.

1:28:07🔗 Adam Do you have a fake arm?

1:28:10🔗 Caller I tried. I lost my shoulder too. Where one is too heavy, there's not a lot that I can't really do. The state of California doesn't like me to drive stick-shift cars.

1:28:20🔗 Drew Did he say how he lost it?

1:28:22🔗 Adam He had the cancer.

1:28:23🔗 Drew The cancer, that's right.

1:28:25🔗 Adam Yeah. The state of California wants you to drive an automatic.

1:28:28🔗 Caller That's correct.

1:28:29🔗 Adam And other than that?

1:28:31🔗 Caller That's pretty much it. I know I'm very fortunate to be as sick as I was when I was so young. And this has been the hardest thing to come through is having this. I had just a horrible situation last fall because my ejection fraction on my heart went way down.

1:28:51🔗 Drew To what?

1:28:52🔗 Caller I was in the hospital.

1:28:52🔗 Drew What was the ejection fraction?

1:28:54🔗 Caller Yeah, down to 32.

1:28:56🔗 Drew You're not in the 20s. It may pop up a little bit from there. Just make sure you take your meds and stay on top of that. You'll need to be watched very carefully. Normal heart ejection fraction is about 60 percent, so he's lost half his muscle pump.

1:29:09🔗 Adam Someone's got real big boobs here. Susie?

1:29:11🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:29:12🔗 Adam You're 16?

1:29:13🔗 Caller Yeah. My nipples don't get hard with my boyfriend.

1:29:19🔗 Adam What size are your boobs?

1:29:21🔗 Caller 36C.

1:29:23🔗 Caller Nice rack.

1:29:24🔗 Adam 36C.

1:29:25🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:29:25🔗 Adam Yeah, they could be bigger. I mean, that's fine.

1:29:29🔗 Drew It's all right.

1:29:30🔗 Adam You're heading in the right direction.

1:29:31🔗 Caller What's the problem?

1:29:32🔗 Drew Why does that bother you so much?

1:29:33🔗 Adam I see it a D by your senior year of high school, though.

1:29:36🔗 Drew Why does that bother you, Susie?

1:29:37🔗 Caller It's just, I don't know if something's wrong with me.

1:29:40🔗 Drew No, no, you're fine.

1:29:41🔗 Adam Do you have sensation in them?

1:29:44🔗 Caller Yeah, but with my boyfriend earlier, I did, but with this one, I just don't.

1:29:49🔗 Drew Is that because some time has passed and your body's changed?

1:29:52🔗 Caller What?

1:29:53🔗 Drew Is that just because your body's changed as time has passed?

1:29:56🔗 Caller I don't know. It's just they don't get hard or anything with him anymore.

1:30:01🔗 Drew It's so unsatisfying to ask our callers a question, isn't it?

1:30:03🔗 Adam We shouldn't ask them anything. Well, I ask them the basics, like what color is your hair, what your middle name is, but you can't ask them the stuff they got to think of that. Susie, I know you can't answer that. You're saying like, was her last boyfriend a year ago, maybe her boobs have grown?

1:30:19🔗 Drew Right. Things have changed.

1:30:20🔗 Adam Have you put on some weight?

1:30:22🔗 Caller Uh-uh.

1:30:23🔗 Caller Okay.

1:30:25🔗 Caller Just my boobs have gotten bigger, but...

1:30:26🔗 Drew There you go.

1:30:27🔗 Adam Thank you. And do you think you're in love with this new guy?

1:30:31🔗 Caller No.

1:30:31🔗 Adam Oh, you're not?

1:30:32🔗 Drew Oh, well, maybe you're not...

1:30:33🔗 Adam Maybe you're just not turned on by him.

1:30:35🔗 Drew Maybe you should listen to your breasts.

1:30:37🔗 Caller That's right. I wasn't in love with my last boyfriend.

1:30:40🔗 Drew You weren't?

1:30:41🔗 Caller No, I wasn't.

1:30:42🔗 Adam But you may have been attracted to your last boyfriend more. Do you think you were attracted to him more?

1:30:48🔗 Caller That could probably be that.

1:30:50🔗 Adam Okay. Well, there you go. I'm a genius. She's having sex with a guy that she's not really into and she's wondering why her nipples don't get hard.

1:30:59🔗 Drew There you go. Isn't it nice to help people every night here?

1:31:03🔗 Adam It really is. It's actually, here's how we serve our function. Here's how we perform our function. We repeat what people say back to them out loud and then they hear it. They go, my right foot hurts.

1:31:20🔗 Drew Let me get this straight.

1:31:21🔗 Adam Is it on fire? Yes, it is on fire. Your right foot is on fire. My right foot is on fire. Now, we get answers. You see? Yes. All right. We'll take a little break. We'll be back.

1:31:35🔗 Caller Hello, this is your radio.

1:31:38🔗 Caller Radio, Loveline will be right back.

1:31:42🔗 Caller Hey, everybody.

1:31:44🔗 Adam Well, that's it. Another fine episode of Loveline, safely buried deep in the ground.

1:31:50🔗 Drew Seems almost like we haven't been gone.

1:31:51🔗 Adam No. Bill Dwyer will be here tomorrow night from BattleBots, the Comedy Central show. I love that show. So I have plenty of questions for Bill.

1:31:59🔗 Drew You got to work on your breath by tomorrow night.

1:32:01🔗 Adam My breath bad?

1:32:02🔗 Drew Oh, boy.

1:32:03🔗 Adam I ate a bunch of fresh garlic. I made myself a nice tomato and garlic salad. Wait, you don't always notice my breath is bad, right?

1:32:12🔗 Drew No.

1:32:13🔗 Adam I ate two big cloves of fresh garlic.

1:32:15🔗 Drew You burped when you walked to the bathroom and walking 10 paces behind you, I almost got knocked over.

1:32:21🔗 Adam I think that's the garlic.

1:32:22🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:32:22🔗 Adam Oh, boy. Well, I'm not going to... You're saying eat more garlic?

1:32:26🔗 Drew That's what I'm saying. Work on your breath.

1:32:27🔗 Adam You want consistency.

1:32:28🔗 Drew That's right.

1:32:29🔗 Adam You want every night to be bad. Okay. Well, how dare you. Until next time, this is Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew saying mahalo.

1:32:37🔗 Drew In fact, I'd recommend five partners all at once.

1:32:40🔗 Caller This has been Loveline.

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