1:13🔗
Voiceover
Yep, it is the Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew. Dr. Drew? Yeah. Oh, there you are. Phone number, 1-800-LOVE-191. Dr. Drew is a board-certified physician and addiction medicine specialist. Tonight, we have as our guest, Jay McGraw is here. Jay has been on the show before. He's the author of Life Strategy for Teens. You may know his pop, Phil McGraw, who's often seen on Oprah, where Drew will be tomorrow. Is that right?
2:04🔗
Five o'clock, I'd be whining.
2:17🔗
First off is wake me up at 5 a.m. I'll start whining.
2:20🔗
Adam
All right. All right. Well, I can see you're going to be an easy student. Drew? Yeah. You're going to be on Oprah tomorrow.
2:37🔗
Adam
Phil McGraw here is here. And you know, Phil McGraw, who's a therapist, sounds just that that name and the guy's physique. He's a big guy. He's much more a relief pitcher than a therapist.
2:53🔗
I used to think I think middle linebacker.
2:55🔗
Adam
Yeah, middle linebacker or one of those crazy, angry relief pitchers who gets himself all psyched up behind the mound and then pulls his hat down and turns. That works. Jay, Jay, have you been on Oprah?
3:06🔗
No, I have not.
3:09🔗
Well, I mean, he's asked, but I don't want to do Oprah. I'd rather do this.
3:20🔗
Adam
Who cares? I'm talking about Oprah. That's nothing. You've been on Mars Venus. That's nonsense.
3:27🔗
What are you talking about tomorrow, Drew?
3:30🔗
Drew
About, there's a theory now that 20-somethings are getting into a crisis. They're calling it a quarter-life crisis. Oh, yeah? That's the sort of population I've been talking to for a lot of years. Adam and I have been going to colleges for the last couple of years. We know a little about what's going on with them interpersonally, and now they're complaining about their careers not being exactly what they expected them to be, not living up to their expectations. It's really all the same stuff. I mean, it's the same issues coming to bear, and they're in a personal world that now we're coming to bear in their careers.
4:02🔗
Adam
It's going to be just as fascinating as Drew just explained it. All right, Drew, you ready to take some calls?
4:14🔗
I cheated on my girlfriend when I went to a party, and now the girl that I cheated on my girlfriend with, she's pregnant.
4:27🔗
How old am I? 19.
4:36🔗
Um, um, um.
4:39🔗
That's something you don't forget.
4:40🔗
Adam
You know what I like about Jay? He's a real smart ass. He fits right in here. So you got the girl you cheated with pregnant, allegedly, and now, how do you know she's pregnant?
4:53🔗
I've seen test results.
4:57🔗
Well, she did that pregnancy test thing.
4:59🔗
Hey, Adam, I got to warn you about something. It's like every 19 year old girl that is at all like messed up in any way thinks they're pregnant at some point in their life. I think it's, I think it's just a trend. They all think they're pregnant. So watch out for that.
5:32🔗
Adam
All right. Wow, Drew, that's tough. He's not exactly like he folded or anything. All right.
5:45🔗
Not slow enough.
5:50🔗
I'm not making it up.
5:55🔗
Well, I don't know exactly what her name is.
5:57🔗
Adam
All right. All right. Look, you don't know the name of the girl you had sex with who showed you the pregnancy test? All right. I'm with lying now. Thanks, Drew. Chris?
6:08🔗
Yeah. What's up, guys?
6:10🔗
Adam
And look, call the show and BS. I don't care. Just have your ducks in order. Go ahead, Chris.
6:22🔗
Caller
Drew, I've heard you go on, you know, on and on about how LSD and all the bad things that can do you, but I've never heard you say anything about PCP.
6:29🔗
Drew
Yeah. You know, I haven't talked about that much, and I don't really have an opportunity to treat too many people who use a lot of PCP. I've certainly seen my fair share over the years. And PCP, most of the problem with PCP is during the periods of use. It makes people very disorganized. It can make people depressed. It's a dissociative, so people get sort of out of body kind of experiences, and they can do all sorts of crazy stuff when they're under the influence. And when they stop using, often their cognition is impaired, too. They just don't think clearly, but mostly, for the most part, in my experience, a lot of that, if not all of it, clears up in a few months.
7:08🔗
Drew
It is. I have one patient that was severely addicted to it, and I wasn't even clear that it was an addictive drug per se, but this woman really, really used a lot and couldn't stop and relapse multiple times. And it's just not out there that much. Sometimes people occasionally use it as a way of bridging into other drugs, but it's not as powerfully addictive as some of the other ones. But it is in a hallucinogenic category, so I would expect to see what we call excitotoxicity, which is these neurons dropping out as a result of being overstimulated in a certain biological way, which is what LSD does, which is what certainly Speed does, and perhaps PCP does.
7:49🔗
Are you choosing a drug here, Chris?
7:51🔗
Caller
No, I was thinking about it, but I was thinking about jumping the gap and going on with that.
8:01🔗
Drew
You know what? I'm seeing a lot of ketamine again now, and ketamine, to me, is very similar to PCP in terms of how it clinically affects people.
8:17🔗
Adam
Okay. I mean, it's not something you should be wrestling with too much at 18. Save that for the older folks.
8:25🔗
Adam
All right. Well, you know what? You can get dog ass pretty easily too. Just go down to the park, go down on a Sunday. I like to go later in the afternoons after a lot of dogs have done their business. Yeah. Oh, yes. It's abundant. It's virtually free.
8:41🔗
Take a little steak with you.
8:56🔗
Jay McGraw
I'm sorry. I was diagnosed with a venereal disease approximately three to four weeks ago.
9:04🔗
Okay.
9:09🔗
Okay.
9:11🔗
Jay McGraw
And I was wondering, I've done research on it and everything, and everywhere that I've looked, it hasn't stated.
9:24🔗
Adam
Drew, Jay, I do, but when is the last time you did that? Is a speech pattern. You know when your kid-
9:32🔗
Adam
Yeah, it's a kid thing. Like you start spazzing out because you breathe the wrong way. It takes you a while to learn how to breathe and talk. You know when you're a kid, you go like this. You go, I had general warts, the doctor diagnosed me and I want to know if it's contagious to my partner because he's not wearing a condom but if he wears a condom, should he wear a latex on him or- and then once in a while, you screw up and in order to wipe the slate clean, you do that bleh.
10:00🔗
Drew
That was too many words trying to come out all at once. Well Claire, let me just go with the facts. I mean this is one of the most common sexually transmitted diseases there is. Certain subsets of those virus, we believe actually causes cervical cancer in women. So it becomes now extremely important that you get very regular pap smears. It is not curable. It is treatable and the more that you control the viruses, theoretically the less contagious you are, although you could always be contagious even when you don't have the warts present. But in a certain percentage of cases, after about three to five years, it will go away by itself. The ones that don't go away are thought to be the ones that are most likely to cause the cervical cancers. Be that as it may, you should consider yourself contagious all the time. How did you get that at fifteen?
11:13🔗
Adam
Let me explain something. Your friends are stupid, but we're not. Drew said to you about twenty minutes ago, how did you get warts at fifteen? You told us for a few minutes how you got it at fifteen, and then you moved on to the next question.
11:30🔗
Jay McGraw
Oh, how did I get it? No, no, no. I'm sorry. I totally misunderstood you. Having sex.
11:43🔗
Jay McGraw
No. It was one guy, and when I told him, he had totally thrown this back in my face and blamed it on me. But he comes from a prominent Jewish family.
12:00🔗
Adam
A prominent Jewish family getting laid at 16. That's like a Gentile getting laid at 11. It really is.
12:07🔗
Jay McGraw
He claims that he was a virgin when he had stuff with me, however, he had been in a long relationship with a girlfriend. I think that's just a bunch of BS.
12:32🔗
I had a question.
12:34🔗
Oh boy.
12:36🔗
Jay McGraw
I don't think that he will go to the doctor and I don't think that he'll get it treated and I was wondering if it's a good idea to come up to his house and talk to his parents and typically lay it out.
12:48🔗
Caller
Here's an idea, Claire. Stay away from him. Last time you hung around you got venereal warts.
13:05🔗
Drew
It's an interesting question, Claire. It really is an interesting ethical question. I don't think you have responsibility to make sure he takes care of himself. I'll tell you in men, it really has no real implications. It doesn't cause any problems in the men unless they get it around their anus and then it tends to cause anal cancer.
13:28🔗
Jay McGraw
Because I didn't know that they had anything going until I confided in her and she had started crying and said that she had slept with him too.
13:38🔗
Adam
Not since Jeff Goldblum has a Jew who got so much tail. This is an amazing story. Claire, I really think now, I mean, I know, and the guy broke your heart too, right?
13:56🔗
Adam
Yes, he broke your heart. That's fine. You're 15. Look, there's no shame in that, especially as a woman. You women shouldn't have any shame in that. You're 15. You meet a guy. You become enamored with him. You sleep with him. Maybe he takes your virginity. And then he dumps on you. Of course, that hurts. It breaks your heart. And you're angry at him. And you probably like to get back at him. And this is not the way to do it. But on the other hand, if this guy's spreading his warts all over the valley, maybe something should be done.
14:29🔗
Adam
And I think something should, because if he gives it to somebody, especially a 15-year-old, this is something they have to live with their entire life.
14:36🔗
Caller
That is, that's right. But you have to ask yourself, what's going to happen if I go do something about this? And you have to play that out the entire way through the situation, because it will also affect your life in a lot of ways. Everybody's going to find out. You don't get venereal warts from sitting real close to each other at the movie theater. You're going to be telling a lot of people what you've been doing with this guy. So you've got to think of all the repercussions of bringing it in.
15:07🔗
Adam
Okay, you and your friend who got the warts, you need to send this guy a little letter, maybe even some documentation from the doctor. And you say, look, we both got warts and we both got it from you. So here's what you need to do. You need to see a doctor. And we will give you a couple of weeks to do this. But if you do not, we're going to start telling people because you are a danger.
15:40🔗
Drew
Well, there may not be a treatment, Claire. Adam has warts and he won't get them treated.
15:51🔗
How dare you?
15:53🔗
Adam
Drew, I made a hundred dollars. I beg your pardon. I beg, no, I beg, no, I beg your pardon. I made a hundred dollars from you because you dumped vinegar on my penis and shined a black light on it on the radio and found nothing.
16:08🔗
Adam
How dare? Oh, how dare you? You wouldn't have paid that hundred bucks if you thought for one second there was a wart on my Johnson.
16:16🔗
All right. All right.
16:25🔗
Adam
What do you mean suspicious? There's nothing on my penis. I've never had a wart in my life. Suspicious. How dare you? You're going to hear from my attorneys as soon as I get them. Zach?
16:40🔗
Hello.
16:43🔗
Caller
Well, me and my girlfriend, this was Saturday. We were having sex. Well, I noticed she was grunting, but I didn't really like saying to her when we were doing it, and I took her home, and I went back, and I went back home, and there were species in my bed. Yeah.
17:36🔗
Caller
Okay. I know it sounds gay, but like, come on, guys. I mean, I should wear one. You know what? Never mind. Well, here's my problem.
17:53🔗
Caller
I ask Adam, and it's good right now. I like, I'm slow to comprehend the stuff, you know? And my question is, if that has to do anything with what's happening to me right now.
18:05🔗
Drew
Well, here's the deal with glue is that the inhaled hydrocarbons, which a lot of people do these days, unbelievable. People sniff gasoline in the glue. It tends to basically dissolve the frontal lobes of your brain, which is a little different than what, say, ecstasy and speed does, which is destroys the limbic system, the emotional centers of the brain. This is the cognition and sort of personality aspects of your brain. And it could do that. I've never seen it do that in an 18-year-old.
18:32🔗
Adam
Well, let me, Drew, let me chime in for a second. Is it, was it worse to smell it between the age of, you know, 13, 14, and 15?
18:49🔗
Drew
All of these neurotoxic chemicals clearly are much more disruptive under the age of 16. Okay. So you hit a sweet spot there, Santos, in terms of when you were doing this. And yet could affect your learning. Of course it could. It could be brain damaging. But maybe you're dumb.
19:08🔗
Drew
Well, he deserves, he deserves an evaluation to see if he has some pre-existing learning disability. Maybe you have some kind of ADD or some other kind of learning problem, which many addicts, alcoholics have. I don't know if you're an addict also, but certainly that could be part of the part of the problem here.
19:28🔗
Caller
Here's the reason though. I was getting beat up by a bunch of bullies. I didn't have nobody to talk to, you know. My mom, she was not really... We were not talking to each other every day. We would hardly talk to or eat together once a week or something like that. That's why the main reason I did that.
19:55🔗
Caller
Well, what do you call it? The thing that you put to the furniture so it came like shine?
20:04🔗
Drew
But Santos, that's the reason most people use drugs. They're trying to regulate their emotional world. They're trying to feel better, trying to escape something unpleasant.
20:18🔗
Adam
All right. Hey, Santos, this one month didn't turn you into an idiot. Believe me. And I'm sure you're not. But maybe you have some sort of learning disability. I mean, look, I was a horrible student. I couldn't memorize anything. I couldn't read. I couldn't write. It wasn't because I sniffed anything, just because I was stupid, you know? Maybe you're just dumb. I mean, you gotta look on the bright side. So what are you doing now? You've graduated high school?
20:48🔗
Adam
Oh, okay. Yeah, I knew that. Where are you? It sounded like a couple of racial slurs in there. Yeah, I was surprised.
21:10🔗
Adam
Yeah, it's interesting, Santos. All right, no problem. All right, so you're bilingual, right?
21:16🔗
Adam
Sure as hell hope you're bilingual. All right, so you speak two languages at 18. That's pretty good.
21:29🔗
Caller
Hey, when I sniffed that, and I would like to sniff it hard, hard till I would get dizzy.
21:50🔗
Caller
Well, I'm planning to go to OCC for about two years and then join the army after that.
21:59🔗
Adam
It's not going to do you any good. You're just going to waste two years and then you'll go join the army.
22:08🔗
Adam
Get those glue sniffers, some guns, and put them to work. That's what I say. Jay McGraw is our guest tonight. He is the author of Life Strategy for Teens. Dr. Drew is over there in Chicago, right? Q101 Studios?
22:24🔗
Drew
Right, they have brand new. Adam, they moved. They moved to the second floor of this Merchandise Mart and have beautiful new studios.
22:30🔗
Adam
Beautiful facility, beautiful people. Yeah, you can see Drew maybe on Oprah tomorrow, but that's why he's in Chicago. I don't know if it's going to air tomorrow. We'll take a little break. We'll be back with Drew and Jay after this.
22:45🔗
1-800-LOVE-191.
23:17🔗
Adam
Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew. He is over in Chicago tonight in studios, Jay McGraw. Jay is the author of Life Strategy for Teens. You've seen Jay's famous father on Oprah. Just about, seems like every day I turn on Oprah, and Jay's dad is there, Phil McGraw. And speaking of Oprah, Drew is going to be doing Oprah tomorrow. Yes, Drew? Yes, Adam. Fantabulous. All right. So we're going to hop back to the phones. Gina?
23:54🔗
Caller
My menstrual cycle started becoming irregular after a couple of months on Prozac, and I wanted to ask Drew if there was any correlation.
24:02🔗
Drew
You're sure all the antidepressant medicines can screw up your period? No doubt about it. Have you ever had irregular cycles before?
24:20🔗
Caller
I mean, it's kind of hard to say because it was sort of like right as I was transitioning to the 40, that's when I noticed that it started to go on for a really long time and it was thin and you know.
24:43🔗
I was just like, oh, is this all it does?
24:45🔗
Caller
And then I kind of thought, okay, well, now this is helping more. You can focus on what you're doing and, you know, you can pay attention so that you can get done what you need to get done.
25:27🔗
Adam
Well, you get 2,000 miles away and your nuts get the size of Idaho. Wait till you get back in the studio and I take you apart. Now, listen, you accuse me of having warts on my Pepe. Of course, I'm going to lash out against you.
25:47🔗
Adam
Suspicious. A hundred bucks out of that cheap half Jew bastard, Drew, and he would have never paid me if there was anything on there that looked like a wart. Mike?
26:00🔗
Hey.
26:25🔗
Caller
Hi, this is Chris from The Living End, and you're listening to Love Line with Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew. Don't touch that dial.
26:33🔗
Caller
Oh, I missed it. I was like talking to him after the show at the Fillmore. Yeah. I missed it, I guess.
26:44🔗
Caller
Well, I have a girlfriend, right? And I really want to break up with her, but her dad kind of creeped me out. Like, he bought me a present. I don't know why. You know, I did the whole thing like I can't accept this kind of thing, but...
27:01🔗
Caller
What was it? Yeah. But I really, really don't want it. And it was a lacrosse stick, you know? And like, I want to break up with her. How should I go about doing this? And like we had oral sex and she like said if I ever broke up with her, she'd spread a rumor around like school like I had a small crotch.
27:29🔗
Drew
Mike, it's always best to be... Listen, always best to be very direct, very honest, and very swift. You just let her know that things have changed and you don't want to date anymore, you don't want a girlfriend, whatever you're feeling.
27:42🔗
Adam
Oh, then lay that BS down where you need some time to... You need some time, you got to regroup, you want to reflect, you're 15, you're not a kid anymore.
27:56🔗
Caller
I agree with you, Drew. You have to put your foot down and say, I'm not trying to be mean to you, I'm not trying to hurt your feelings, but I'm not interested in this anymore. I'm out of here, I'll see you around. You have to realize that if she's bluffing to spread the rumor, it's most likely a bluff. Wouldn't you agree, Drew?
28:16🔗
Drew
Oh yeah. She's obviously a vengeful person and she's going to react however she reacts, but you don't want to stay in a relationship out of fear of her retribution. That's ridiculous. But also, people never do it like the way Jay is describing it. They get into the BS that Adam is talking about and then the other person goes, okay, would you like two weeks, three weeks? Then they become clingy and develop these elaborate ideas about how it's going to work out. You're right, Drew. It's not fair.
28:43🔗
Caller
That's exactly right. And it's not fair to yourself either, because if you string her along and lay down the BS and everything, then she's going to be more mad at you when you finally do say, see you later, I'm out of here. And she's going to be more prone. If she is going to spread rumors around you, she's going to spread more if you string her along and then six months from now, tell her, see you later. So go ahead and do it. I mean, if that's what you want to do, you need to do that.
29:14🔗
Adam
Well, why when she can toot it? All right, Mike, good times. He's fine. Listen, kids, they bounce right back at that age.
29:23🔗
Caller
And what are you going to do? Keep dating her for the next 50 years, just because you're afraid she's going to tell everyone you got a small Johnson?
29:43🔗
Caller
Well, I got married when I was 16, and now I'm going through a divorce. I have a 14-month-old daughter, and I have a new boyfriend who is 21, and she calls him daddy. Should I let that go on?
30:13🔗
Adam
Okay. Jesus Christ. Married at 16, divorced at 17, 14-month-old, new boyfriend. Now, the guy's 21?
30:25🔗
Adam
Okay. Because you're lucky our line is bad. Otherwise, we'd really dig into what's going on here.
30:53🔗
Adam
Alright, you're just a bad person. It happens. I'm proud of you. You're able to act for yourself. Well, let's think, though.
31:02🔗
Drew
How do you think you would feel as a young, very young child to attach to someone as dad and then have him disappear?
31:10🔗
Drew
No, but I'm talking about the boyfriend. I mean, think about that. If you're going to keep this guy around for 12 years, great. Let her call him dad. It's fantastic. But if he's not going to be around, you shouldn't even have introduced him to her.
31:23🔗
Caller
That's exactly right. You got to create some sort of a stable environment for the kid. If stable is no man at all, then that's a whole lot better than some new guy every two weeks that she calls daddy. You got to create a stable environment. Once you know it's somebody that you may stick with, then you can introduce him.
32:20🔗
Caller
My dad was married before he married my mom and got a divorce. My oldest brother and my sister are half brothers and sisters.
32:28🔗
Adam
Alright, so it's starting to look a little less rosy, right? I mean, it's coming into focus a little more as far as dad goes, right? What did your dad do for a living?
32:41🔗
Adam
Oh, horrible, horrible people. Jesus was the only good one. Adam was a carpenter. And the jury's still out on him, by the way. I heard he...
32:51🔗
Adam
Yay! Said he's a carpenter, he said that he padded a lot of his estimates and gouged the elderly.
33:04🔗
Adam
That's right. Turns out he charged a time and a half for all his labors when he wasn't paying them OT. All right. Hey, Kelly. All right. Baby, you know, they do live in Idaho, so that may just explain everything.
33:42🔗
Yeah.
33:46🔗
Yeah.
34:20🔗
Drew
Kelly, morning after pill is an emergency measure. It's not meant to be contraception. Get on the pill, for God's sake.
34:36🔗
Adam
All right. You take care of that kid and if the guy is a good guy, he gets to stay in the trailer, all right?
34:43🔗
Adam
All right. And for Christmas, if he's still around, you get him a laminate trimmer. It's a very small router. High RPMs. Works nice for laminate work, okay? Doesn't have to use the big half-horsepower job. Hi, baby. Good times. Well, I'll tell you, I know that laminate work, Drew, if you have any questions.
35:02🔗
Adam
Any questions tonight about the laminate work? I can answer them. Radius laminate work, vertical, countertop, I do it all.
35:26🔗
Adam
Jay McGraw is our guest tonight. He is the author of Life Strategies for Teens. Dr. Drew is over there in Chicago. We're going to take a little break and we'll be back.
35:36🔗
Loveline, Loveline, 1-800-LOVE-191, we'll be right back.
36:10🔗
Adam
Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam Carolla. That is Dr. Drew. Dr. Drew is in Chicago tonight because he is doing Oprah tomorrow, which is quite a coup. Congratulations, Drew.
36:28🔗
Drew
Oh, thank you. But even though you said it would, you told me that the set on that day would happen to look like the album cover of the, what was it, Sgt. Pepper Beatle's album.
36:47🔗
Adam
Yes, there will be at least as many people up on stage as there are in the audience tomorrow, if I know Drew's career. But Drew, if you are on that stage with anything less than ten people, I'd be impressed. I say kudos to Drew. Jay McGraw is our guest tonight. He's the author of Life Strategies for Teens and Speaking of Oprah. And how did your dad and by the way, Phil McGraw, Jay's dad was in here tonight, Drew. Stop by momentarily. The guys went to a Lakers game tonight.
37:30🔗
Adam
I like to see a good series. And I figure this is the only way it's going to be a good series. I figure they could get down 0-2 the Lakers that is, and it would still then be a great series.
37:44🔗
Adam
Yeah. Yeah. And you got to figure you weren't at any of those games where they won, were you?
38:00🔗
Adam
How did your father, Phil, and I'm sure you've been asked this a thousand times, but I don't know what the answer is. Get connected with Oprah and get on that show.
38:09🔗
Caller
Well, my dad has a litigation company in Dallas that we do work for big trials. When somebody's getting sued, they say, I want to practice this before I go in. I want to see what's going to happen. And so that's how they got introduced. Oprah, I don't know if you remember, she got sued for mad cow in Amarillo. And so she and my dad got hooked up there and got to know each other real well. And she said, you know, you've helped me a lot going into this, write some of this down so people can understand what's going on, how to take advantage of their life. And so he wrote the original life strategies, which is based on these 10 life laws that basically dictate what's going on in your life. And I translated that into life strategies for teens. But anyhow, he went on the show talking about that and it's stuck. And so he's been doing it, Jesus, like four years now, and he's on every Tuesday.
39:04🔗
Adam
So it really feels like he's on more than that. Every time I turn that goddamn Oprah on, there's the bald man chewing someone out there is Sheriff Phil. Yeah. Chewing on someone's ear. Georgiana, year 22. What's up?
39:21🔗
Caller
Okay. First of all, Dr. Drew, you are very sexy and Adam, you're cool. Okay. Every time a few days after I get them having sex, I have extremely sharp pains in my vagina and my right nipple all the time.
39:44🔗
Adam
Well, the vagina I think we can explain, but what about the right nipple? Is your boyfriend left-handed? Is he twisting on you?
39:54🔗
Caller
Well, you know, it occurs sometimes when I don't have sex, you know, sometimes, but most of the time it occurs a few days after I have sex.
40:00🔗
Drew
You know what's interesting is that women release a hormone, and men do too, but women react to it differently called oxytocin that causes contraction of the uterus and of the nipples of the breast. Like if a woman has just had a child and she feels, here's a baby cry, her uterus will contract, the breast, the milk will drop or actually leak out. And sex tends to initiate that same kind of biological reaction. So I wonder if that's some sort of delayed response to that same hormone you're having. Huh?
40:34🔗
Drew
I guess what I'm asking is does it happen in reaction to anything else? Do you ever have any other circumstance where you get that same kind of reaction?
40:42🔗
Caller
Sometimes I'll just be sitting down and I'll get this extreme sharp pain through my vagina and my right nipple.
41:17🔗
Drew
Well, those kinds of medicine, not so much Seroquel, but some of the stronger ones will typically cause stuff like this.
41:56🔗
Yeah.
42:06🔗
Caller
Well, I had, we had talked about it three times before, me and my boyfriend, actually ex-boyfriend now, but.
42:20🔗
Caller
Yeah. Well, both really. He had always asked, what would you do? And I would go for it.
42:28🔗
Drew
Yeah. He's been pressuring you for. What do you mean is your idea? He's constantly bringing it up, right?
42:35🔗
Caller
Not him always, because he would like to look at a chick or something. I'd be like, yeah, she's fine. She's pretty. She's got a good, you know.
43:03🔗
Caller
Well, one day it did happen. I mean, me and my girlfriend got together and him. And the only thing I was against was that he can do anything. She can do anything. The only thing I didn't want was intercourse.
43:30🔗
Adam
Yeah. So, hold on a second. You agreed, you guys had agreed on that before you had the threesome, right?
43:57🔗
Adam
I'm hip to the part where you were in the room. What I'm asking is why didn't you say anything at that point?
44:10🔗
Adam
Hey, Drew and Jay, are there any dumber callers on any radio show? The challenge has been out there for almost five years now. I defy anybody else who hosts a show nationally or on the local level to produce evidence that your callers are dumber than our callers, because I say they don't exist.
44:32🔗
Adam
Yes. She was in the room. I understand you talked about it in advance. Now, I'm going to get back to the question one more time. Remember, when it actually went down, why didn't you chime in?
44:49🔗
Caller
Well, my answer is, he's not a little kid, and there's no need to be repeating something. You know?
44:59🔗
Adam
So, you were uncomfortable bringing it up. You're angry that he did it in the first place, and you probably signed out of the relationship at that point anyway, right?
45:16🔗
Drew
Your relationship never survived threesomes. They never do. It would be great if they did, but they don't.
45:23🔗
Drew
That's my point. Well, five-somes. What's wrong with that? What the hell? What is, in an abstract sense, wrong with that, except that it's incredibly unhealthy for people, and it destroys their relationships. So, you shouldn't do it.
45:36🔗
Caller
Drew, don't you, am I right by saying that the reason that she does this or that other people do this, and even go to the level that the reason she says, oh, yeah, she's pretty, and yeah, she's pretty hot, is the fact that she's afraid he's going to leave her if he doesn't, if she doesn't cave in, or?
45:53🔗
Caller
Now, I'm wondering, am I attracted to chicks, because now I'm like, wondering and like masturbating over chicks.
46:05🔗
Caller
Really. I mean, I mean, it's been in my mind for a long time. Well, this last time, I mean, this last time, this is the only time that we work together.
46:48🔗
Adam
Quiet down. Maybe you're into women. Maybe you're not. Take some time. Step back. Evaluate. If you're into women, you're into women. That's fine. Jesus Christ. You imagine having that for a mom, though? You know what I mean? I mean, I know we're running late for break, but as what you want in a parent is security and strength and to have someone whose head is spinning like a dreidel, not knowing which set of genitalia to hump next, it's got to be unnerving to a young person. Jay McGraw is our guest tonight. He is the author of Life Strategies for Teens. We'll be right back.
47:25🔗
Love Line will be right back. So get your problems ready.
48:07🔗
Adam
GIT Loveline, everybody. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew over in Chicago. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Jay McGraw is our guest tonight. He's been on the show before. He's the author of Life Strategy for Teens. Of course, his father's Phil McGraw, who you see on Oprah. Seems like every day, but I'm told just once a week. And speaking of Oprah, that's why Drew is in Chicago. So we'll be doing that tomorrow. And you'll be reporting back to us. Well, you'll be in here tomorrow night, right, Drew?
48:51🔗
Adam
I'll tell you what, why don't you wear like a big purple fedora or wind up beanie or something so we can pick you out.
49:00🔗
Drew
As you mentioned, the Mormon Tabernacle Choir is likely to be there with me and they may have a dress code.
49:11🔗
Caller
I like the feather idea though. You don't have just some purple feathers sticking out.
49:35🔗
Jay McGraw
Well, it's relevant to the story. All right. When me and my girlfriend have sex, she bleeds during sex. Not every time, but...
50:11🔗
Jay McGraw
My biological dad doesn't accept it too terribly much, but my mom's really accepting of it, so...
50:18🔗
Jay McGraw
Well, actually, I just got kicked out of his house, and I'm going back to live with my mom.
50:46🔗
Adam
Of course. Very, very important. Why'd you tell him, by the way, if you knew he was gonna, you know, be bad about it?
50:56🔗
Drew
Yeah, there are things that are part of Adam that he couldn't tell his parents until he was 40, 35.
51:11🔗
Drew
She should. Yeah, it means the line of the uterus is sort of unstable. There's various things that can contribute to that, but it's not necessarily abnormal.
51:24🔗
Jay McGraw
That's something I'm proud of, so. Well, not, not, not so much proud, but I accept it.
51:43🔗
Caller
No, but have you always done stuff? I mean, have you, drugs, drink, skipped school, have you always done something that's making your dad mad?
52:03🔗
Drew
Yeah. I'm not so convinced that the lesbian choice has so much to do with that, but the thing that's always is an F you to dad is they have to announce it at Thanksgiving.
52:14🔗
Adam
Yeah. You wonder. You do have to believe and I don't want to take anything away from our vast lesbian listenership, but you do have to believe that a lot of people. Okay. Let's put it this way. Kristen, who just called, if she loved her dad very much, I believe she would still be a lesbian, but I believe she would be confused at age 16, and would probably stumble on to it more in her first or second year of college.
52:51🔗
Adam
Because Pops put the screws to her early, she just made the, she declared a major earlier, and is now then has some good ammunition to tell him and make him pay. Okay, and I have said this many times, listen up all dads and future dads. You have a daughter, you abuse mama or abuse daughter, or don't pay attention to her, she will pay you back. Maybe she's a lesbian, maybe she does a little porno, maybe she works at the strip club across the street from your work. Do not worry, you will pay.
53:27🔗
Caller
And you know, I have to say that I'm sure Christian didn't choose the most, the best way of presenting this to her dad, since he wouldn't get mad. I mean, Drew, I think you're right. She called a family meeting at Thanksgiving and announced it with dad standing there next to her.
53:43🔗
Adam
Right. But why, but you know, we always make fun of the caller, but, or Christian, but why not? Dad deserved it and he got what was coming. You know, it was 15 years in the making.
54:07🔗
Yes.
54:11🔗
Caller
I've been having this problem. I'm in this catastrophic situation. I ran into this guy at the last place I worked at. I actually worked at a restaurant. And you know, he came in and I kind of thought he was a pervert. Everybody kind of thought he was a pervert. You know, he'd stare at their chest, he'd stare at their ass.
54:41🔗
Caller
Right. I felt kind of bad for him because he was trying to befriend me. And so we started hanging out.
54:52🔗
Caller
Kind of a lapse in time here. Six months later, we got an apartment together because I was in a bad living situation again. Right.
55:26🔗
Caller
He's spying on me. I'll get out of the bathroom. He'll be around there. I'll wake up in the morning. He'll be standing over my bed.
55:37🔗
Caller
I need to know some options here because I'm in a financial situation. I have no support.
55:58🔗
Caller
Well, I had a dysfunctional family and I really don't, I can't go back there. It's just too emotionally stressful.
56:09🔗
Adam
Is there any way you can crash out at one of their places for a little while until you get your stuff in order?
56:17🔗
Caller
Yes, it is possible. I was just trying to get around that because I'm situated here. I have a job here. I'm signed up for school next semester.
56:38🔗
Caller
You don't have to move in with them either. Just go stay with them until you get another option.
57:09🔗
Caller
He's both. Actually, I've been trying to get a hold of you guys for quite a while. You guys tend to get these people that don't even really have a bad problem. I mean, it's not even a problem. It's just, let's get on Loveline so he can be heard. You know what I mean? And I have a problem.
57:28🔗
Caller
Lisa, let me ask you, what's worse, telling your friends about the situation or him doing something to you while you're asleep tonight? No, honestly, what's the worst? What's worse?
57:45🔗
Drew
Lisa, you have friends, and you wouldn't tell them what's going on, but you'd call a radio station, the one you can't even get through to, by the way?
57:53🔗
Caller
No, it's ridiculous because I've told people, but I don't think they're taking it flippantly. Like, it's not a big deal. Like, it's really not a problem.
58:01🔗
Adam
Well, you may not be presenting it quite the right way. But how long have you been living with him?
58:10🔗
Caller
Oh, yeah. Progressively worse. Progressively worse. At first, it was like a normal situation.
58:34🔗
Caller
Well, jealousy. I mean, I'll talk on the phone. I've had like three boyfriends in the duration of the six months, and I'll be talking on the phone, he'll get pissed off, he'll slam doors, he'll go, he'll scoff.
59:14🔗
Adam
Okay. So what you need to do, the good news is his name is on the lease. You need to not confront him alone. Probably do it over the phone. When he goes off to work tomorrow, you need to pack up your crap. You need to talk to one of your friends that you work with or somebody else in town. Tell them you need to crash out on their sofa for a week or two until you can get up on your feet and slip out of there like a thief in the night, except for it's during the day. I'm just going to phrase. All right? Okay. All right. He goes to work tomorrow. You pack up your crap tomorrow and you drop it off at a friend's house.
59:51🔗
Caller
Well, technically not tomorrow, but the day after, yeah, because he doesn't work tomorrow.
1:00:00🔗
Caller
And Adam's right. Don't confront him by yourself because you've let it get too far. I mean, had you had you stopped it in the beginning and said, look, this is unacceptable, get the hell away from me. I'm coming out of the bathroom or I'm going to sleep or whatever and leave me alone. Then that's a different situation. But now that it's escalated, you need to not confront him. You need to get out of there and do something different.
1:00:42🔗
Adam
In her dysfunctional family. Oh, boy. She hooked up with a guy who was a little unstable and she felt sympathy for him where most of us would have just walked on the other side of the street. She took the guy in and struck up a relationship with him.
1:00:58🔗
Drew
But then she's so paralyzed, she couldn't even think of a plan of how to deal with this. She had to call us. She didn't even heard to her. She wasn't even clear she should move out.
1:01:09🔗
Adam
Yeah, but if you got drunken stepdad beating on you your whole life, that's where your head is at.
1:01:17🔗
Yeah.
1:01:19🔗
Well, first let me say, Adam, Dr. Drew, you guys are kind of my heroes. Jay, my dad reads your dad's books.
1:01:29🔗
Yeah, but anyway, here's the deal. All right, I went out with this girl for like a year and a half. She went off to college. We still went out a little bit and broke it off, right? Year passes by. She's back in town. We get back together, right? Fire reignited, all that good stuff. All right, so we didn't have sex when we went out the first time. And this time we're both a little more experienced. And we had sex one time, right? And this has just been like last week. And since the first time we had sex, of course, I wanted to do it again, but my penis didn't want to. And so like three times.
1:02:08🔗
Adam
So right. No, not all right. What about your balls? What are they saying on this? Have you talked to your balls?
1:02:14🔗
The balls have consulted the penis.
1:02:18🔗
What's going on?
1:02:24🔗
Yeah.
1:02:28🔗
Exactly. But it's like it'll be a wreck for like all the foreplay and all the stuff and then right like the moment, I kid you not, the seconds before, you know, it's gonna, you know, make its way in.
1:02:45🔗
It's happened three times.
1:02:47🔗
Drew
With her. Are you freaking out about it happening each time you get together with her?
1:02:52🔗
I try not to.
1:02:57🔗
Yeah, exactly.
1:02:59🔗
The walls won't let me forget it.
1:03:02🔗
No, never. It's never happened ever.
1:03:07🔗
Well, yeah, but mostly with her. But I mean, I have had a couple girls.
1:03:12🔗
Adam
Whoa, whoa. Wait a second, though. I want to get a little clarity here. You hadn't slept with her the first time you guys had a relationship.
1:03:20🔗
Yeah.
1:03:23🔗
17, 18.
1:03:29🔗
Right.
1:03:30🔗
I was being a good Christian boy.
1:03:31🔗
Adam
Right. And you were a little worried about your penis. And then you guys broke up and you'd slept with how many people in that period of time?
1:03:41🔗
Just a couple.
1:03:46🔗
No, not at all.
1:03:52🔗
It worked. Yeah, nicely.
1:03:54🔗
Adam
And then you realized maybe you were falling in love and then the penis sort of crapped out on you the second, third, fourth and fifth time, right?
1:04:03🔗
Well, yeah, I don't know.
1:04:05🔗
Either that or well, because she had been like with however many guys.
1:04:12🔗
And well, because we like talked about it.
1:04:19🔗
Yeah. I do something.
1:04:22🔗
Drew
It's performance anxiety based on and probably some guilt and some anger, too, right? You're kind of angry that she did all this. You were you already mentioned that you sort of were trying to be a good religious. They did some religious beliefs about being sexually active and that can create some guilt. And then lo and behold, you didn't measure up and now you go into each battle worrying about possibly having this happen again. Of course, that makes it happen.
1:04:43🔗
Adam
Okay. So Jude, now you can masturbate. No problem. There's no problem with the plumbing.
1:04:49🔗
No, not at all.
1:04:52🔗
No.
1:04:52🔗
Adam
Okay. You just need to be honest with her and sort of take the pressure off yourself and your uncooperative penis.
1:05:08🔗
Drew
If she says, I'm so into this, it makes me anxious. I'm really having feelings that are so overwhelming. It's almost too much for me.
1:05:14🔗
I already did that and then I have it again.
1:05:19🔗
I'm a long-time listener, so I knew how to go about it, right?
1:05:28🔗
She was just like, okay, well.
1:05:30🔗
Caller
What did you say? Did you say like, I know that you slept with the entire campus while you were gone, and I'm having a little problem living up to that, or was it, I'm having a little anxiety here.
1:05:42🔗
Yeah, it was more the second one.
1:05:50🔗
Well, no, she was like, well, yeah, I understand. Just if there's anything I can do to just tell me what I can do.
1:05:56🔗
Drew
Well, how about a BJ? Yeah. The way you're saying it, sounds like she's like devastated, oh, it's all right.
1:06:02🔗
Adam
No, no, no. You were just reading that. Look, he's having some difficulties. They'll work it out. He's young. He's never had that break-in girl that we always talk about. Drew?
1:06:27🔗
Adam
Guys need this because let's face it, we need to perform sexually whereas women need to just be there. Drew, what are you getting into over there?
1:06:36🔗
Adam
All right. Guys, if they hop from girl to girl to girl, and one night stand, and one night stand, and one night stand, they never find that one girl that they really work it out with. Build their confidence, try all the positions. You know that thing where you both walk around nude during the day in the apartment, and that girl, if you don't have that girl, if it's all a bunch of, you know, you just finished off a sixer of Mickey's, and you're having some sort of drunken conquest, in some guy's car, you never quite work that out. And Jude has not worked that out. And he's a little behind at 19, although not everyone has at 19. So this might be his girl. He just has to get over the hump, pardon the pun. Just take it slow and work it out.
1:07:34🔗
Drew
No, no, because the one I'm going to take is going to take some time here. So go ahead.
1:07:41🔗
Yeah.
1:07:41🔗
Adam
You're 25? You're saying your question or comment is upset on how we brush off real life crises?
1:07:55🔗
Caller
I don't know. I love your show. I listen to it a lot. I think that you do a great service, but I feel like when people call them with really serious issues, I always am expecting that Dr. Drew or somebody will say, you know, let's put you on a hold. I'll have an assistant give you a list of phone numbers you can call.
1:08:14🔗
Caller
Or things like that. I'm rather concerned at this point for the woman who just called in. I feel like she wasn't really given much advice except sort of like, well, you know, I feel like you sort of treated her like a friend.
1:08:30🔗
Caller
Well, I think you said, you know, get a lock on the door. It sounds like she can't afford a lock.
1:08:43🔗
Caller
That isn't really, there's not really time to discuss it. She needs to get with some sort of, you know, emergency number, something to call. There must be some, like, relief agencies.
1:08:52🔗
Caller
Well, why use an emergency number and a relief agency when she can just go over to her friend's house with her suitcase until she finds a new roommate who's somewhat normal and can live there safely?
1:09:01🔗
Caller
What I'm thinking is going on is that nobody's really taking it seriously. And the problem is, stuff like this, that's how it evolves, is that nobody quite takes it seriously until, you know, there's a body or a rape or whatever.
1:09:12🔗
Adam
What happened to you? Uh-oh. Hold on a second, Lara. Because nobody calls this show with a problem with our advice unless something horrible happened to them, and then it just becomes a big cathartic experience. Because we spent six and a half to seven minutes on that call, which is three times as long as we should on any call.
1:09:37🔗
Drew
Well, I told her, get out, first, our first thing, get out immediately, immediately, whatever you have to do, get out.
1:09:42🔗
Adam
But listen, we didn't tell her to call the cops, but the cops aren't going to do anything. I mean, the cops are going to show up in three hours and say, tip the guy off that she's getting ready to pack her bags. Right, what's going on? Her other option is to leave tonight, but I don't know where she's going tonight. And the next option was let the guy go to work and leave tomorrow. That's what we told her to do. I mean, she's been under the guy's roof for six months without any incident.
1:10:08🔗
Adam
So, it sounded like pretty safe that she'd make it for another eight hours. We're going to take a break and we'll get to the bottom of Lara after this.
1:10:17🔗
Loveline will be right back, so get your problems ready.
1:10:21🔗
Ready, ready, ready.
1:10:50🔗
Adam
Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That's Dr. Drew. He's at our affiliate, one of our oldest affiliates, Q101 in Chicago tonight. There you go. I mean, they've been with us since the beginning, right, Drew?
1:11:07🔗
Adam
What are you eating, buddy? Altoids. Easy, buddy. Life Strategies for Teens is the name of the book. Jay McGraw is our guest tonight. Jay, when were you on the show last, Jay?
1:11:32🔗
Adam
Let me tell you something about this Jay McGraw, Drew. He doesn't have the clinical experience that you do, but the kid, he's good looking and he's hungry. He reminds me of a young you, Drew. He really does. He reminds me of you when you're in your mid-20s. You had the eye of the tiger.
1:11:50🔗
Adam
That's right. That's right. Before your marriage. So things have been working out pretty good. We've done a little talking, a little soul searching.
1:11:59🔗
Adam
Nothing I want to talk about over the air. We'll just, here's all I'm saying, Drew, when you come back tomorrow, we need to talk, okay? We'll just talk.
1:12:08🔗
Adam
Yeah. Is there anything worse than that part of life when someone tells you we need to talk but it won't be now?
1:12:17🔗
Adam
Yes. I would have talked at the time you needed to talk. I didn't need to talk about talking in the future. It starts off with the parents, like where your dad would leave for work and you go, by the way, when I come back, we need to talk. That's where it starts. Then it dovetails into relationships, which is, yeah, I can't talk now when you're talking to the girlfriend at work. It's pretty crazy over here. We need to talk.
1:12:46🔗
Adam
That's bad. Then eventually, it gets into the workplace where the boss says, I'm in the middle of something here, but swing by the office before you leave. Definitely, don't leave without talking to me. All you do is your guts just turn in knots for the whole day. So Drew, we're going to need to talk tomorrow.
1:13:04🔗
Drew
Oh, no, no, no, no, no. We have to talk now. No, no, Adam, what is it? What is it? I know you have something in your mind.
1:13:24🔗
Adam
Laura? Yes, you're 25. So Laura called and she had some constructive criticism of the show and that's fine. By the way, for my money, we don't take enough of these calls. Anybody has a problem with the show or something I said or something Drew didn't say, you can go ahead and call us up and we're always free to have a little debate over there.
1:13:47🔗
Adam
Call and chew Jay a new one too. That's right. Laura didn't like the way we handled the call that we had a few calls back where the girl had a freaky roommate. We basically told her to pack up and leave, but we did not tell her to call the cops or leave that night. Didn't seem like a dangerous situation. We didn't want to agitate things. I don't know realistically what phone number we could have given her. I mean, it's very convenient to say you should have given her some emergency number, but what emergency number comes over and scoops you up at 11.15 at night from your apartment when there's nothing going on in your apartment?
1:14:24🔗
Adam
Right. Okay. Laura, more importantly, what happened to you that gives you the energy to call us about this?
1:14:32🔗
Caller
You know, obviously, child abuse, but also a friend I had, I'm from New Mexico, who had a very strange roommate who finally came after her in the shower with a knife. I wanted to use her hand because she was trying to send off the knife. And this was someone she had roomed with, this was someone she knew and she would tell people about it. You know, I found this out because I was in New York and heard the story, or I probably would have gotten more involved, but people wouldn't believe her. They would not believe me.
1:15:03🔗
Drew
Now, Laura, you're actually a great person for us to talk to because the most incredulous part about that call, I forget the caller's name, for me, Lisa, wasn't it?
1:15:11🔗
Drew
Was what you're talking about now, which is the way these women tolerate these incredibly bizarre, inappropriate, poor boundary roommates and why it doesn't occur to them that they need to make a change or how to change it.
1:15:26🔗
Caller
Well, that's unfortunately, this is what I'm calling in about. That's unfortunately the problem. Obviously, there is a dysfunctionality with the person or they wouldn't be interacting. But what's happening is there is a certain point where all they're doing is asking for help and right now, we can't even discuss the logistics of what she needs to do to see the shrink or whatever. We just need to get her away. And my feeling was not so much that you gave her wrong advice, but, and I will fact it into you, you can call it Laura's List, a list of numbers that just really freaked out women or men too, because it happens to men too, can call at the last minute to at least, if nothing else, the police will generally not do anything until after the blood has been shed. There are organizations that can at least offer some advice, offer shelters.
1:16:11🔗
Caller
Laura, you're right, and in fact, I've put a list of those numbers in my book because I agree with you, I think it's an important thing to do, but people have to realize that it's not always our fault, and I'm not passing blame out to people who are victims of horrible situations, but it's the same with parents whose children are rebelling. They go do something and the parent says, don't do that again, and the kid walks off and they just stand there. When somebody comes to you and says, I'm in a tough situation here and I feel like I'm in danger, if the person you tell that to walks off and that's the last person you got to talk to, it's now your responsibility to say, no, stop and wait and listen to me because I need to talk to someone because I am in danger and I got to do something about it. We can't pass the blame on.
1:16:54🔗
Caller
And I understand that the kind of women who are involved in these situations do not have any self-esteem. They do not have any belief in themselves.
1:17:00🔗
Drew
But Laura, what does that feel like? Help me comprehend what that place is to be in, let's just take Lisa's situation with this incredibly weird, intrusive, disturbing guy and not think, I got to get out of here. What are you thinking? I'm just very curious, I want to know more about how that person thinks.
1:17:21🔗
Caller
From my standpoint, when you are abused, particularly sexually, which may not be the case with her, when you're abused at a young age, which she probably was, you are not believed. You are not believed at all, so you learn not to tell anybody. Because if you tell anybody, they look at you like you're insane.
1:17:40🔗
Adam
Listen, hold on, you're deflecting that, that is untrue. People don't believe you. I mean, we sit around.
1:17:52🔗
Caller
My mother took me to the hospital for a strange infection down below that as near as I could tell could only have been transmitted sexually, but she does not believe me.
1:18:01🔗
Adam
Let me tell you the problem here, Laura. Everyone becomes mom. That is not people. That is your screwed up family system, which caused the abuse in the first place.
1:18:24🔗
Caller
If you could just give her a list of people who know how to professionally handle that type of person and know how to at least get her out of harm's way. A battered women's shelter, something. Where she just has a place to park that's not, you know, that's outside of the system and then we can deal with the psychological...
1:18:39🔗
Drew
It's gotta be hard for her to talk about this, Adam. You're not gonna get satisfaction out of it.
1:18:47🔗
Caller
Drew, I think that part of the answer to your question, and I'm sure you know this, is that anytime somebody does something on a repetitive basis, that they do it over and over again, they have some reason for doing it. And if she's not telling someone about it, there's got to be a reason. And maybe it's that she feels like she won't be believed, or maybe she feels like there's going to be a danger to the situation. And those people that are in that situation have to ask themselves, what's the worst that could happen? If I tell someone they don't believe me, they just don't believe me. If I don't tell someone and I'm injured or I'm abused, is that worse? And my opinion is yes.
1:19:24🔗
Adam
All right, we have to move on. I do agree with Laura, though, that these people are not heard oftentimes. John, I mean, but it's not because people don't believe them, it's because they don't have the ability because of their abuse.
1:19:39🔗
Drew
But then you see what happens. You see what also happens, Adam. Laura, we're hearing her and getting alarmed about it. We're telling her to get the hell out of there right away. And what Laura hears is, you guys didn't hear her.
1:19:53🔗
Caller
Hey, guys. Adam, the other night you were talking about Party Pals, and you talked about improv troops. And I'm involved in improv and on an improv team. So I wondered if you had a history with improv or any funny stories and stuff or whatever.
1:20:06🔗
Adam
No, nothing funny ever happened. That's for goddamn sure. But yeah, I started off in LA with the Groundlings, although I was booted out of that organization at a fairly young age and that was not funny. And then I got up with a group called the ACME Theater, and I did that for a while. But yeah, I wasn't really that good at it.
1:20:30🔗
Adam
I probably have 7, 8 years of improvisational training under my belt. And it has never made a penny at it. But not a bad place to cut your teeth and you know, build a foundation. John, you're 15, you're already getting involved with it. You're way ahead of the game.
1:20:51🔗
Adam
You got no problems. Good times, buddy. And remember, who, what, and where, and not only that, but, but. Do you see what I'm saying?
1:21:12🔗
Adam
Here's what I'm, no. You can't do it over the radio. But here's what I'm saying to John about good improv. If some guy says, don't I know you from high school? You say, yes. And not only do I know you from high school, we were on the football team together. That's right. Yes, and. Don't do what all those other people did to me and what Drew does every night, which is, huh? What are you talking about?
1:21:39🔗
Adam
Good times. Yeah, Drew's the greatest. I'll go. It's like it's like that scene from Shining where Jack busted down the door with the axe and I'll go, huh? Never heard of that movie.
1:22:00🔗
Caller
Well, I'm just trying to figure out how I can tell my best friend of six years that I have more feelings for him. I love him, actually.
1:22:15🔗
Drew
Adam, speaking of timing here, this is more than we have time to do right at the moment.
1:22:32🔗
Adam
You've lured him over to the brown side? Interesting. Okay, well hold on. Hold on, Chris. Now we do have to get into this. What base have you gotten to with him?
1:22:58🔗
Adam
So did he break your behind man? All right, Chris, hang on. Now we got something to get into. Hey, Drew?
1:23:06🔗
Adam
Please, with the Altoids into the goddamn microphone. Please, we're going to break in eight seconds. You can't, you got it? All right, we'll be back.
1:23:18🔗
Call 1-800-LOVE-191. Adam and Dr. Drew will be right back.
1:23:54🔗
Hi, this is Mark from Blink-182, and you are listening to Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew on Loveline. I have a really big dick.
1:24:13🔗
Adam
Jay McGraw is our guest tonight. Life Strategies for Teens is the name of his book. Is this thing a best seller?
1:24:35🔗
Adam
All that good stuff. Chris? Yeah. So let's get to the bottom of this part in the pun. 25 years old. You're in love with a friend of yours. This guy's been a friend of yours for some time.
1:24:55🔗
Caller
Well, I'm not sure. I'm just kind of afraid that if I actually say that I love him, he'll get mad or...
1:25:02🔗
Drew
But it sounds like you guys have been in sort of a romantic relationship or a love relationship for quite some time.
1:25:08🔗
Caller
Well, it's more just a physical thing than emotional thing. That's what I'm getting from it.
1:25:16🔗
Adam
And this guy's got to be a mess, though, right? He's a handful, this idiot. I mean, it really... Do you really want to get in with this guy? I mean, he's bi, he's confused, he's screwy.
1:25:48🔗
Adam
Stop it. Stop rattling around back there, would you? Jesus. It's horribly distracting. I'm sorry, Chris. I'm so sorry for Drew. It's a lack of respect. I couldn't, I was distracted. I couldn't, I couldn't hear. What's the problem? You've been married for four years. You have two children.
1:26:05🔗
Drew
You want to answer this. So you mentioned everybody else leaving you behind. What does that mean?
1:26:41🔗
Adam
What's up? Have you ever tried to treat your depression? Are you on any medications? You ever seen a therapist?
1:26:47🔗
Caller
No, I've always heard everyone says they take pills, and you got to take it for the rest of your lives and stuff. There's a really curing thing, just helps it temporary.
1:27:02🔗
Drew
By the way, nothing could be more further from the truth about what you're saying about depression.
1:27:08🔗
Caller
Even if it is, it's better than sitting around depressed all the time, up in your room, worried about everything in the world.
1:27:15🔗
Drew
Listen, one out of five people die of depression. Is that a better outcome than taking medication? They kill themselves. One out of five depressed people, and yes, indeed, 50 percent of people that have major depression will have a relapse, but treatment with antidepressants for six months will usually cause the depressions often caused to go into remission.
1:27:33🔗
Adam
Okay, so don't focus on this guy and his ass so much and get some help, get some therapy, and get the hell out of there and join life.
1:27:42🔗
Drew
I really want to, he didn't describe to me what the nature of his relationship was with this guy. I really wonder what this was, some sort of service agreement they had. You know what I mean?
1:27:54🔗
Caller
And you don't have to, it's not like an extreme where you either like tell this guy you're in love with him and spend the rest of your life together or completely abandon him.
1:28:02🔗
Adam
Right. And he's under the fantasy that if this guy loved him back, everything would magically be better. It'd be better for two weeks and then you'd climb back into that hole. You'd be depressed together. You'd be depressed.
1:28:19🔗
Caller
Well, I have a year and a half year old baby. And I know sex life is usually lacking immediately afterwards, but she's a year and a half and I have no libido. I have nothing. I even if I try to have sex when I'm not feeling anything, I can't.
1:28:43🔗
Drew
Well, Depravera shut your sex drive down like crazy. Really? Yeah, that's probably what's doing it. That's the most common and this most disturbing side effect that people get from that medication. My experience.
1:28:58🔗
Caller
He's been pretty understanding, but I mean, it's gone down to like once every couple of months.
1:29:04🔗
Caller
And every time we attempt it, you know, either she wakes up or I physically can't, even if I'm, you know, interested and excited.
1:29:23🔗
Caller
You know, so that we have the house all to ourselves, be all romantic and have a nice evening.
1:29:38🔗
Caller
I used to, but I really just kind of one of those things I kind of don't do anymore.
1:29:43🔗
Drew
Okay, hold on. Kristen, get off that depot. Get off the depot for a minute. It's a great contraceptive, but not for you.
1:29:57🔗
Adam
Completely. Well, listen, wait a minute. Why don't you give them a BJ every once in a while?
1:30:05🔗
Caller
I mean, I beg your pardon. Oh, Jack, I'm often times, you know, because I got it filled back for the poor guy. But, I mean, you know, that's not sex.
1:30:36🔗
Adam
That's right. He's a passionate, passionate man. He can't go that long without some nookie. But wait a minute. He is how old? The guy's a young man. He's an sexually boy for a male. You may not be feeling it as a female at 22, but for a male it's 22. I mean Jay, how old are you? 21. Jay was humping my leg during the last break. He's out of his mind over it.
1:31:05🔗
Caller
That's also the problem is if I don't feel like it, that's one thing, but I know that he can't go a couple of months.
1:31:12🔗
Adam
All right, toss him a BJ every once in a while. For Christ's sake, you women in your big ivory towers over there, well, I'm not in the mood. Well, I don't like it. Well, I'm not a prostitute. Look, you don't like it. Let's just substitute BJ for back rub. Your man is working two jobs. He's working hard. He's out in the sun. He comes home his back sore. You're plots and around the house all day. Give him a little back rub. That's what it is. He's this guy deserves it. This guy's been very understanding. Jesus Christ. You know what? The problem with women is they're so attached to sex. It's like if they're not in the right mood and they have sex, it makes them a prostitute. It makes you a good wife. And I know we don't... I'm not going to win any popularity contest for saying this, but the guy's been a great guy. Why not? It's that big a deal? You've done it before.
1:32:26🔗
Drew
Obsessive-compulsive disorder is, Tourette's is a very specific syndrome where people have sort of sounds and twitches and the words sometimes they emit without any ability to screen them out or contain them. Like that.
1:32:56🔗
Adam
Bye. All right, everybody. That is it with another fantabulous show. I'm going to thank Jay McGraw for coming in here.
1:33:44🔗
Adam
Life strategies for teens. Go out and get it. It is everywhere books are. And come back anytime, Jay.
1:34:03🔗
This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors or this station. The producer for Loveline is Ann Wilkins Engel. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.